#take my online economics exam for me

[mathexamhelper-tutor]

[assignmentwritingservicesblog]

[onlineexamhelper-expert]

[dashoulinas-fandom-dump]

Ok, everyone's been doing this lately, so I also need myself one of those.

Haven't been able to start doing anything for way too long now. I AM planning on starting going through my to do list now on the weekends, but 3 hours in my day I haven't been very successful about it... So some extra motivation would be extremely helpful right now.

Ok, let's do this:

10 notes I'll do my Finnish Duolingo for today (5 lessons)

20 notes I'll start doing some stupid music assignment that'll take 20 min max what even is the point of music assignments?!

40 notes I'll start the other a bit bigger and less stupid music assignment I still don't get the point of music assignments

70 notes I'll write a review of a random piece of media (most likely GO, anybody surprised?) for English class

100 notes I'll clean my room

200 notes I'll complete my part of the Economics presentation (due on Monday)

400 notes I'll start writing my Economics essay (also due on Monday)

700 notes I'll go ahead and learn Finnish for 2-3 hours cos I really need to and I haven't been doing it for a month already so every time I have the online lesson I have no idea what those guys are talking about

950 notes I'll go for a walk (and may or may not buy myself some chocolate)))

1000 notes I'll go to sleep early (like 22:00 early)

All tasks before the cut are all more or less due on Monday

1200 notes I'll learn some Maths I've been putting off for way too long (it's not school work but still. I'm getting dumb without it)

1500 notes I'll start researching for universities for my future studies

1900 notes Do a presentation about the them for sharing in class (why do we have to do this?!)

2000 notes I'll start finally doing my research practice essay task (first part of which was due a month ago😭) (I did confess to the teacher tho, and she said it's not a big deal now, because it's not even graded, but it is for my own good because next year it will be very much graded)

5000 notes and I'll read the book we have to read for the exam and start getting ready to tell the teacher something coherent for 10 min straight on the exam day (I don't think I'll be physically able to do it, I'll start asphyxiating on the second minute of the speech (not that I have breathing problems, but the social anxiety does things to me))

Idk is that the appropriate amount of notes for each task?....

[wonderwithin-us]

The dream you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Guess who got their phone broken 💗 but it's alright, it's all ok now & I noted down all I did in the past 3 days. My exams were a little bad, really bad to be completely honest, but it's alright, it was my first time giving exams this semester and I learnt what I need to do.

11th of July, 2023 💕

100 days of productivity — day 5, week 1

Economic exam preparation ~ I was so confused, there were so many concepts I'd missed because of my sickness but I tried YouTube and notes online. Procrastination really did get the best of me. I need to lessen my use of insta, seriously, I think Tumblr is more safe in that regard.

Microeconomics — Introduction & Consumer's Equilibrium

Statistics — Introduction & Organisation of Data

I need to work on my graphs, practice more and overall concepts of microeconomics. Also, clear up my concepts on stats. It's easy, but revision is needed.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

12th of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 6, week 1

Economics exam, yikes. Next exam was Psych the next day, so I was really nervous because I wanted to score well in it! ❣️

However.

Procrastination got to me, again. I studied for a while then thought it was too easy and I could do it at night, which, evidently, I couldn't.

I think rather than seeing easy topics as something to skip studying or take easy, I should put more effort in them so I can get them perfect and let it pay back to me.

What is Psychology? & Methods of Enquiry

I need to work on my basic concepts, esp in ch-2, and notes. Visual learning works best for me, and making my own notes is essential to my learning 📖

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

13th of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 7, week 1

Dear god, I think my psych exam was the most terrible. Which hurt me the most.

I really did lose hope after this. Not only did my incredibly unclear concepts and no notes not help, but the exam was extremely tough, the questions were really vague and I didn't understand them, and the worst of all, I literally forgot I had a whole section to do as objective even after rechecking. I lost 5 marks from that, maybe more.

That really hurt.

Tomm was English exam! I had seen what had happened in the last papers, so I really worked hard here.

I mostly focused on literature, since the creative writing formats were mostly very easy and took less than an hour.

Chapters with details are hard!

Anyways, I was really anxious until the end, and kept a few detailed chapters to the morning after to revise.

I really need to work on studying chapters I've missed before the exams come. It was so messy and frustrating trying to understand all these chapters with online notes and summaries, especially when the chapters are so open ended and the teacher is so strict with answers 💌

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

14 of July, 2023

100 days of productivity — day 8, week 2

WAR!!! IS!!! OVER!!!!

Final exam day, I was nervous but it was actually quite alright!

I absolutely need to work on my speed, though.

Also, I almost always exceeded the word limit in answers. So, I need to practice my creative writing more, not just in my head, but actually on paper, and be more perfectionist in my answers in literature.

I went out with my big brother to eat street food and it was all very lovely 🍝

I also wrote a lot of poetry, which I'm really quite proud of. I also received some really good news! 💕

New week! The first week was really, really overwhelming, and I don't want my future self to end up like that again. It was exhausting and hurtful and I want to get better.

In the end, I've got a lot of stuff to work with and I'm really proud of my self to survive all this! ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* I hope nothing but peace upon my future.

[amberlihc]

Intro

Hello everyone, this is Hanchi Li and you can go by Amber. I’m now a master student at the Newhouse School, taking the MMI 634 course by professor Sean Branagan. As an interdisciplinary student, I hope to be exposed to more forward-looking and socially reflective discussions in this class, as well as master the ability to predict the social changes in the industry and globalization.

Having a pair of open-minded parents who resisted traditional exam-oriented education for their daughter, I have experienced a very different route. In addition to the scenic spots in my homeland, China, they also took me on trips to different countries, including the United States, Canada, Japan, Switzerland, France, Germany, Italy, and so on. My rich travel memories since childhood have made me refuse to establish an unshakable development path for life too early. I am very interested in traditional culture, but I also aspire to a future world influenced by technology.

Since 2020, I have witnessed how social change can be adjusted efficiently through cross-communication both offline and online under the impact of the pandemic. As a student from a developing country studying in a developed country, the impact of culture collisions and the rise and fall of domestic brands made me aware of how communal needs, economic crises, and human emotions have come together to shape a diverse digital social landscape. I was lucky enough to encounter a commercial film from China UnionPay on Bilibili, which combined China’s ancient culture and current social challenges, attracting and inspiring me to create more similar meaningful stories. Therefore, I’ve independently made a digital map about the residential stratification in the United States and an e-Zine about the development of musical forms from southern countries, and I hoped to promote different cultures to all those who may come into contact with my work while completing academic research. Such special media forms made me realize that creative ideas could be conveyed to non-professional audiences through visualized and vivid data, which undoubtedly opened a brand-new world for me. 

These skills also gave me a solid foundation for my internship at BlueFocus and made me stand out in the brand campaign related to consumer insights and other practices of communication works. As I constantly attempt to use my knowledge from undergraduate studies to solve workplace difficulties, I am even more eager to enhance my abilities through more systematic and diverse communication studies. In addition, through other projects I realized that communication study is able to affect people from different social aspects. It can not only spread information widely and quickly, allowing specific enthusiasts to find and expand their social scope, but also allowing me to personally interact with many talented people in different fields, thereby improving my aesthetics, cultivating a logical and forward-looking awareness, and practicing all third-party tools for team work, continuously accumulating and exercising my creativity. For example, I have understood what the metaverse is through online interactive mini program and got to know Chinese young designers like LOXEL who created many valuable Non-Fungible Tokens; By participating in the Lay’s brand PR activities, I have the opportunity to indirectly collaborate with the famous photographer Xiao Quan whom I admired; Through “Pepsi Sugar-Free National Tour EPR Communication” project, I have written press releases and flash event scripts for my favorite celebrities in the entertainment industry.

Compared with others, my unique sense of identity and inclusive interdisciplinary research make me more inclined to respect and appreciate differences, while using an open mind to accept and understand different voices to explore the communication fields that combine innovation and pragmatism, such as cultural and NGO communications. This ability is also valued by an inclusive advertising industry that embraces diversity and open-minds. Therefore, I take this path as my ideal career choice.

[elong6017]

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Don’t let the complexities of economics exams hold you back. Reach out to Live Exam Helper to learn more about how our expert support can enhance your exam preparation and boost your performance. With our help, you’ll be well-equipped to tackle any economic challenge and achieve the success you’re aiming for.

[online-class-xpert]

Simplify Your Life: Hire Someone to Take My Exam for You

Balancing many tasks in the hectic world of today can be difficult. Whether your situation is one of a parent juggling family responsibilities, a student balancing academics with part-time work, or a professional seeking additional education, the pressure to achieve in every sphere can be debilitating. Hire Someone to Take My Exam

could help you to relax. Specifically stressing services like Take My Online French Class for Me and this article investigates the advantages of this solution and how it might ease your life.

The Modern Student's Dilemma

Students today have more important demands than they did years ago. Online learning gives students the ability to study from anywhere, but this also means they often must manage their academics with other obligations. Many people find a great strain to become ready for and pass tests. This is where a smart answer is to have an expert take your exam.

Why Hire Someone to Take Your Exam?

Time Management: One of the main reasons students choose to pay someone to take their tests is to more properly manage their time. Students who contract exam chores may focus on other important areas of their life, such as employment, family, or extracurricular activities. 

Stress Reduction: Exam stress can be an important cause of fear. Hiring a professional to take your test will help you manage stress and concentrate on keeping a healthy lifestyle. This process makes sure the pressure of exam preparation does not overwhelm you.

Expert Assistance: Online Class Xpert uses professionals in multiple fields who are knowledgeable in the topic of business. This makes sure the candidate answering your test possesses the required knowledge and abilities to execute successfully so raising your chances of obtaining a good mark.

Flexibility: Online tests may feature set times that would not fit your availability. Having someone take your test gives you the freedom to reach these deadlines without losing other requirements.

How It Works

Hiring someone to test you is a simple process. Starting with services like those offered by Online Class Xpert follows this:

Select the Service:  Name the particular exam you require help with. Online Class Xpert offers a variety of services to fit your demand, whether they be "Take My Online French Class for Me" or "Take My Online Economics Exam for Me.

Provide Details: Once you have chosen the service, submit the pertinent exam information including the date, time, format, and any particular instructions.

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Secure Payment: You will finish the payment process following confirmation of the information and expert matching. Respected services provide private and safe transactions.

Case Studies: Success Stories

Many students have profited from having someone else take their tests. Here are a few instances:

Case Study 1: Working mother Sarah was finding difficulty keeping up with her online French class. She was able to concentrate on her work and family by using the "Take My Online French Class for Me" service, therefore guaranteeing her academic development. The professional not only passed her tests but also gave comments on her assignments, therefore strengthening her language comprehension.

Case Study 2: John, a part-time student, struggled to be ready for his online economics test because of his demanding employment. He chose the Take My Online Business Studies Class for Me service, which helped him to pass his test without compromising his job obligations. John's whole GPA improved when the expert's thorough economic knowledge guaranteed a top mark. 

Conclusion

Ultimately, paying someone to take your test can significantly streamline your life and free you the time and mental clarity to concentrate on other goals. Services like those provided by Online Class Xpert, including "Take My Online French Class for Me" ensure you have professional help catered to your academic requirements. Using these tools can help you to travel a successful and balanced academic path.

[cattutorialsblogs]

Reading Comprehension

VARC became the most difficult a part of the CAT examination for me. To get via that section, I searched for diverse shortcuts and tricks. It took me some time to comprehend that the only shortcut to studying comprehension is analyzing. Let's start your CAT Preparation with CAT Best Online Coaching. My preparation taught me that skimming, searching at the questions first, and analyzing the passage afterward isn’t going to work unless you recognize the passage efficaciously.

Here is what I observed helpful in my instruction for VARC.

Read the entirety you could search out.

Whether or not it's The Hindu newspaper articles, film evaluations, lengthy emails, or Twitter updates, I examine almost the whole thing under the sun. Just read, study and study. The pain of analyzing will soon disappear, and you'll begin to revel in reading.

Read Variety.

Within a month of studying, you will recognize your preferred kinds. Does the economics passage intrigue you the most or the TOI’s speaking tree which you just can’t begin your day without? In addition to this, you'll even have a listing of subjects you dislike. Now is an appropriate time to put in writing down which subjects you revel in reading and that you discover difficult to comprehend. For instance, I didn’t just like the finance-associated articles however I enjoyed philosophy, tradition, and science subjects.

Read the uncomfortable topic first in the morning.

The majority of your analyzing would be approximately subjects you are secure with and you will forget about the topics you locate difficult. During mock assessments, I frequently skipped a simple passage due to the fact I wasn’t cozy with it. Thus, I lost smooth marks. Hence, it is really helpful to devise your morning analyzing time round topics you don’t like.

Don't look further, percentilers for CAT Online Coaching Classes.

Read vocabulary of the subjects you aren't comfy with.

The majority of reading can be made less difficult if you know the basics of a particular concern. Nonetheless, it is able to be hard to master each unmarried subject matter, and there might not be sufficient time to build interest in every. An smooth way out is which you make an effort to discover the word list for that difficulty and overview it from time to time so that you can better understand the terminologies used in that subject. Trust me this HELPS!!!.

Answering VARC questions with accuracy.

How many times have you discovered that regardless of expertise the passage nicely, you had been not able to answer the questions? This has took place to me numerous instances. To avoid losing marks you need to have some know-how of fallacies to answer most of those inference-based question. Taking the time to study these fallacies will help you solution RC questions with accuracy. You can study about those fallacies on line.

Hope this properly assist you. Happy Reading and all the best for CAT.

Also Read:

Strategies for Solving Mocks

Last Minute Tips for CAT 2023 Exam

[mathexamhelper-tutor]

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[filmbyjy]

ohh i do wanna know more about singapore’s education! i have an overseas friend currently studying architecture in nyp i believe! and she’s sooooo stressed and never has much time anymore and have basically isolated herself except for her bf and online :(( it’s really stressful for her in architecture but i hope you’re having fun in your current diploma! since your internship starts next month, you have a company assigned (?) for you already, right? not too sure but my friend told me she’s in the 2nd semester so hers has not been assigned yett

oh? your friend is also in nyp? I’m also in nyp!

well, they don’t assign the company to us. we have to email to company and get interviewed then from there we’ll see if we can get in or not. if you can’t then you just have to keep trying with other companies🙃

hmm, well. Singapore education system is quite simple (to a local) but they have changed since I graduated from secondary school💀

sit back, it’s gonna be a long read😪

we have preschool:

nursery then kindergarten. just simple stuff. we also have homework there but it’s simple.

they also have religious kindergartens here for Muslims who want to enrol their kids into it. I was in one but that school went bankrupt 💀 so I went to a normal kindergarten after that.

then we have primary school:

(7-12 years old) primary 1 to primary 6

At P6, PSLE which is like a major exam for you to get into secondary school. it used to follow grading of like points. let’s say you get A then it will be the range of like 75-90. hence, some people can have until 200 aggregate.

But they are changing it to if you have A, you get 1 point so the lowest you can get is 6 points as there is only 6 subjects you’ll learn in primary school.

secondary school:

(13-17/18 years old) secondary 1-4 or 5.

based on my time for secondary school, we are split into 3 ‘categories’ Express, Normal Academic (NA) and Normal Technical (NT). Express is usually for the fast-paced learners and those who got high scores for PSLE. NA is just for the normal ones scores. NT is for the slower ones. what we usually say, don’t quote me on this Singaporeans who were in NT🙏🏻

It also depends on like your score that you got for PSLE and also on the school’s PSLE range for last year. They usually give like a booklet of the school’s past aggregate scores that students enrolled in. like legit a range.

For example, let’s say I have score of 160 (ehem I did actually get that. I was not smart in school) then you look through the booklet and you see the lowest aggregate score for Express is 180. oops, you can go in Express. so you look at NA and the lowest 140. yay, you can go into that school as an NA student. Overall, I think you can fill up your list to 6 schools. 1 being the most you wanna go in.

At Sec 1-2, you’ll be learning everything. From doing Home Economics (cooking basically) to Design and Technology(DNT) and Art. Science is just science. You learn history, geography and social studies.

At Sec 3, you’ll split classes based on which elective you’d like. There is Additional Math (A Math), Principles of Accounting (POA), Art, DNT and Home Economics. You can choose Biology, Chemistry, Physics. There is options of taking Purely just one science subject. There is also combined science where you take Bio + Chem or Physics + Chem or Physics + Bio. Oh and you can also pick to do either Geography or History but have to take Social Studies along with it as it is a must.

At Sec 4, we have ‘N’ Levels. this is mainly for the NA and NT students only. For Express, they have ‘O’ Levels. After this, they can choose to go ITE or Polytechnic (based on your scores)

For NA Students, if you do well in your ‘N’ Levels and get a score lower than 11 points. You can go direct to polytechnic. If not then ITE or move forward to Sec 5 where you basically just study for another year and then do ‘O’ Levels bc you’ll be learning what the Express learnt just a year later.

as far as I know now, I think they are like abolishing this whole Express, NA and NT thing and just putting everyone with the same learning speed and interest into one study group. i have zero idea about this since i already graduated a long time ago before this thing happened. my sister’s age group is like getting experimented on.

If you go ITE:

no age range. I was like 18-19 when I went ITE🙃

if you didn’t do well, you have to go through ITE. Mostly are NA and NT. idk about Express students though🤔 my Express friend went to Polytechnic straight so idk.

there are 3 ITE Colleges; East, West and Central.

the locals here usually say if you go ITE that means you aren’t good at studying or you’re lazy. However, that doesn’t essentially mean it. Maybe you didn’t do well in secondary school and are wanting to do better for a change so you do better in ITE then further your studies.

there are actually a lot diplomas in ITE. Business Schools, Art Schools, Social Service, Beauty and Wellness. You even have the option to do Work & Study. Basically, you get a job and also study at the same time. So like basically college💀

there is a nitec and higher nitec. nitec is basically 4 years, like starting from the bottom cause you’re fresh out of secondary school as an NA or NT student. Higher Nitec is usually for Sec 5 students or if you do well but not well enough to go directly to Polytechnic after ‘N’ Levels (I believe so💀)

For Polytechnic (or as I call it poly):

again no age range. I am literally like 22 and in poly when everyone in my class are like 19-20 years old. I am also 1 out of the 2 other 02’liner in the class. The rest are 03, 04 and 05 liners. Mostly 05 liners💀

besides the route of directly going to poly, you can also go from ITE to poly. it’s a longer route but it works. That’s what I did.

Many diplomas and various schools. Like design and other ones.

There is 5 polytechnics; Singapore Polytechnic, Temasek Polytechnic, Nanyang Polytechnic, Ngee Ann Polytechnic and Republic Polytechnic.

If you go from NA to Poly, it’s called ‘Polytechnic Foundation Programme’ (PFP, for short). This will be 1 year of just learning basic stuff about your course. After that, you move onto Year 1. Total you will have 4 years in poly

For normal umm, times. It’s 3 years of poly. Year 1-2 is just studying, learning about your course. Year 3 consists of internship and final year project (FYP). Each is 6 months. Then you graduate.

For internship there is two groups, the lecturers or teachers split your cohort into 2. There is Cohort A and Cohort B. If you’re in A, you’ll go to internship first for 6 months before coming back and doing your FYP. As Cohort A is doing their FYP, Cohort B will go out for their internship as they did their FYP first.

After all of this, yay graduation!!!

You can also further your studies 😍 but I’m not doing that. I am done.

We still have universities🧍🏻‍♀️ oh and you can also go private schools but I am not explaining that💀 too complicated and I didn’t go to a private school besides the kindergarten I went to.

we also have SOTA/NAFA/LASALLE – art school/performing arts or anything art related.

and many more🧍🏻‍♀️ I can’t even think of anymore. I tried my best to explain it but good lord, there is a lot. It’s even worse because they decided to change the educational system when I already graduated. Now, I really could say “back in my day, this was like this.” MAN IM OLD💀

[magneticgroup]

A Day in the Life: Training Coordinator

As a brand, Magnetic Training is known for providing technical training courses globally. But who runs the day-to-day operations? To answer that, Iryna Usenko, Training Coordinator, introduces us to her daily routine and the behind-the-scenes of her coordinating role.

Could you please briefly share your background?

For education, I have graduated from National Aviation University. I've always had this growth mindset, which helped me pursue various opportunities and overcome challenges throughout my career path. I worked as a translator, secretary, and manager of international economic activities, among others, all leading to this day, where I'm currently working as a training coordinator at magnetic talents, a sub-brand of Magnetic Group. 

As a training coordinator, what are your primary responsibilities?

As you would guess, with a coordinator's role comes plenty of planning and detailed work. My primary responsibilities are the preparation of type training courses, including course records, online meetings, learning sessions, certificates, and exam records. I also support trainees and instructors, handle customer correspondence, prepare agreements and all the needed paperwork, invigilate exams, and attend office duties.

What does your daily work routine look like?

My day starts with a morning run and a cup of coffee while checking the mailbox and prioritizing my tasks. No day goes by without correspondence to our trainees and preparation of the required exam records. This also includes course records, on-site meetings, and remote exams. Before calling it a day, I take a moment to think about what went well and what I learned. It's like wrapping up one chapter and getting ready for the next day's adventures. 

What advice do you have for individuals aspiring to become training coordinators or enter a similar field?

Every case is individual, but generally, I would split my advice into four steps. First, develop strong communication and organizational skills as you will communicate a lot with people of different nationalities, organize training courses, and provide support during diverse types of training. Second, be on top of your management skills. Third, stay up-to-date with contemporary training methods and technologies. Fourth, learn foreign languages, which always comes in handy.

Since 2024 is fast approaching, what can newly-joining trainees expect in the year to come?

Magnetic Training is going to introduce two new types of training courses that will be available from January 2024, such as B777 (GE 90) B1&B2 type training course, and Engine High-Pressure Compressor Blend Repair Training. All important information about the courses can be found on our website.

[kfh-fiction]

The Fan - Chapter 1

November 8, 2016 - Lea

I turned on the TV in my bedroom, feeling cautiously optimistic about what was to come.  It was Election Night of 2016 and I’d spent the past year working for Hilary Rodman, a candidate who I’d really liked from her time as First Lady, then as a Senator and finally as Secretary of State.  She fought for things I believed in, like abortion rights, better education, affordable health care, strong international relations, marriage equality, gun control and building more jobs.  So I was thrilled when she decided to run for president and got involved in her campaign right away.  

My wall was decked out with a Hilary for president sign and a “Love Trumps Hate” sign, along with posters from other campaigns I’d been involved with. The newest addition to my wall, though not political, was from last week, when my favorite baseball team, the Brooklyn Chargers, won the World Series. Hopefully, I’d soon have Hilary Rodman victory posters to put on the wall.

Before Barack Obana was elected president eight years ago, the country was in the midst of two wars and the worst economic crisis in a century.  Over the past eight years, unemployment had dropped, the Affordable Care Act had passed and marriage equality had become a reality.  But there was still more to be done and I was sure Hilary Rodman would continue that progress. The warmer-than-usual-for-November weather felt like a good omen for things to come.

As an individual, my life had been full of ups and downs over the past eight years.  The first campaign I’d really been actively involved with was Obana’s, when I was a high school senior, too young to vote by one year.  So I spent my weekends at the Obana office making phone calls, stuffing envelopes and entering data. I did this again for his re-election campaign four years ago.

Then college started. It was a disaster. My whole life, I’d struggled with anxiety and depression, and the large college campus with lots of people and lots of noise didn’t mesh well with my anxiety. I’d never done well on exams, and since exams were such a big part of college, my grades were consistently low. At least in high school, even though I hadn’t been close to very many people, there were a lot of people who I liked who I also thought liked me. I struggled to make friends and I’d struggled with exams my whole life. After three and a half years, I decided to take a break and got a retail job. After two and a half years at the retail job, I’d gone back to college. While I was doing better this time around, it was hard balancing school and work and the exams were still giving me trouble. I was doing homework on the bus between school and work so that I had more free time during my limited time at home. I didn’t even get to do as much volunteering for Hilary’s campaign as I would have liked.

There had been one bright spot during my first college stint: I started watching the TV show Glee as a freshman, and as a sophomore, I began writing fanfiction about the Finn/Rachel pairing, or Finchel, as it was known.  I’d made friends online through my fanfiction writing and gotten all sorts of positive comments.  Finchel had gotten me through my early college struggles, my trouble with finding a job before I got the retail job I had now, through anxiety and depression spells... then the actor who played Finn died, and the writers killed Finn rather than hiring a new actor or giving Finchel an offscreen happy ending.  That had been devastating for me, but the Hilary Rodman campaign and the Chargers World Series win helped me feel better about the loss of Finchel.  I looked at my wall, where I still had a Finchel poster, right next to the Chargers World Series Champions poster.

The first thing I saw when I turned on the TV was the Republican presidential nominee, Donald Drumpf. Just the sight of the obese man, with the overdone spray tan and the blonde hair that looked fake, made me cringe. Drumpf was a bully, narcissistic, immature, ignorant, racist, homophobic, sexist, anti-Islamic, anti-immigrant and anti-disabled.  He constantly threatened and mocked people. He had no experience. 

I remembered the day I’d been at the gym and seen Drumpf mock a disabled reporter and asked the person on the bike next to mine how anyone could support someone like that. I remembered watching TV the day after the Democratic National Convention and Drumpf had attacked a Gold Star Family who’d spoken on Hilary’s behalf.  I remembered leaving class one day and a classmate told me that a recording had surfaced of Drumpf talking about how he could just “grab (women) by the pussy.”  

Yet, the horrible things Drumpf said were garnering more and more attention, and no matter how horrible the thing he said was, it couldn’t lose him supporters.

But Hilary was up in the polls.  She did better in the debates.  She had more endorsements.  Even a few Republicans were backing her, or at least refusing to back their own nominee.  And although I was worried, all the prediction markets were predicting that she would win.

I scrolled through my social media feeds.  Most of the people I followed were posting pro-Hilary statuses.  One thing stood out - a post from my favorite player on the Chargers, Colton Krenshaw, encouraging people to get out and vote.  I felt a connection to all the Chargers because they made up the team I loved watching, but he was definitely my favorite. He was one of the best players in the league, a great catcher and a great hitter, yet he was very humble. He did a lot of great work in the community. I’d wanted the World Series title for all of them, but especially for him. I’d met him a few times and he’d always made me feel special and so appreciated.

My thoughts were interrupted when CNN announced their first calls.  They were calling Indiana and Kentucky for Drumpf and Vermont for Hilary. Drumpf had 19 electoral votes and Hilary had 3. Oh well, the states Hilary was expected to do well in weren’t closing until later. She would win this election, right?  After all, in 2008 and 2012, Obana was behind at first because of the states that closed early and won by a huge margin.

My computer beeped. I had a new email. Another failed exam. I’d never been very good at school. I wasn’t sure what it was, but no matter how hard I tried, I never managed to pass exams.  Every time I took an exam, it went the same way. I’d go into the test-taking room in Iowa University’s disability service office with those stupid sight blockers surrounding the desk. My mind would go blank when I was handed the exam, and no matter how hard I studied, all the information would be forgotten when it was handed to me. The time seemed to pass slowly, but in reality, it would go by quickly. I wasn’t even sure how I’d gotten into IU, which was supposed to be the best university in the state, after three and a half years of doing poorly at another state school. Maybe because of my essay about my history with anxiety and depression and how I was able to live with them.

The 8 p.m. polls closed. Hilary won New Jersey, Massachusetts, Delaware and Maryland and had 44 electoral votes now. She was up by 10 points in Ohio, up by 7 in North Carolina, up by 7 in New Hampshire and up by 1 in Florida. This was amazing! Maybe all those panic attacks and sleepless nights had been for nothing. Hilary was winning. Drumpf had picked up West Virginia and Oklahoma, but Hilary wouldn’t have won those states anyway.

The deep south polls were starting to close. Now Drumpf had picked up Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee and South Carolina. He had 66 electoral votes to Hilary’s 48, as she’d only just picked up Rhode Island.  But she was still up in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan, North Carolina and New Hampshire... couldn’t the networks just call these states for her? My heart was starting to beat fast.

I remembered when I went to go see Hilary speak about a month ago. I’d barely slept the night before because I was so excited and went pacing around my apartment in hopes of wearing myself out to get some sleep, but that didn’t work. I got to the rally’s location, IU’s football stadium, early so I could get a good place in line. It had been a long wait.  There had been lots of people and they’d played loud music. I didn’t like crowds, noise or music at all, so that hadn’t been pleasant. I wanted to go to a quiet place to wait, but I knew if I did, I’d lose my place in line and not get a good glimpse of Hilary. 

More than once, I found myself wondering if it would be worth it. What if I couldn’t even see her from where I was standing, and if people were standing too close to me, and the music got too loud?

Once Hilary came out, it was all worth it. I had an amazing seat in the 100,000-seat stadium and didn’t need to look at the projector to see her at the podium. She was even more impressive in person than she was on television and online. I didn’t think it was possible for someone in such a stressful position to have so much energy and be so happy, but there Hilary was, in her signature pantsuits, talking about all her ideas for the country. It made all the difficult times I had gone through worth it.

Wait. What was happening now?  Why were Hilary’s leads in the swing states shrinking?  Now Drumpf was up in Wisconsin, Michigan, New Hampshire, Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Ohio - and Iowa. Iowa. My home state.  The state I’d done so much work in. Yes, Hilary had just won a few states and had 104 electoral votes now. She’d picked up Illinois and Connecticut, and to my surprise, she had won New York, Trump’s home state. But he had 129 thanks to Arkansas, Texas, North and South Dakota, Nebraska and Kansas and was halfway to 270. That didn’t even take into account all the swing states he was up in. This was bad.

I was strongly reminded of Election Night 2004. I’d been a thirteen-year-old at my parents’ house. My family was optimistic that John Carey would become president and my parents had a party snack tray for me and my brother, who was six at the time. My parents had also gotten us each a map to color in as the states were called - blue for the Democratic states, red for the Republican ones. There were times when John Carey had a lead, like Hilary Rodman had less than an hour ago. But the clock ticked on that night, and I’d colored more states in red than in blue. 

Eventually, I felt  like I could fall asleep on the couch in the living room, but I’d wanted to stay up so I could be there when the news anchors announced my idol had been elected president. At around midnight, my parents sent me to bed. I had school in the morning. That morning, it was revealed that the incumbent president had won the election. I couldn’t remember that morning well, but I did remember breaking down crying at school and losing motivation to do anything. I remembered stabbing myself with my mother’s knitting needles with plans to kill myself because I didn’t want to continue to live in a world with George Walker as president. I remembered the trip to the ER after I’d been caught and being lectured by a psychiatrist about how self-harming and suicide weren’t the answer, that he wouldn’t be president forever and that things would get better.

The night before that election, I had gone to see John Carey speak, and it had been absolutely incredible.  Back in 2004, my struggles with school were beginning and I basically had no friends, had just been diagnosed with anxiety and was even having trouble with figure skating. But one thing made me smile - the Carey campaign.  I’d gone to his website every day to watch videos of his campaign events and his ads and had been convinced he’d defeat the incumbent president and put a stop to the Iraq war that I thought was pointless.

That hadn’t happened.  But certainly the United States had learned something, right?  They wouldn’t elect someone even worse than George Walker, would they?

My phone went off.  It was a text from my dad.  “This is bad.”

My parents had a feeling this wasn’t good either. They’d reassured me a lot when I talked to them about my fears about the election. If they thought it was bad, it must be bad. I replied to the text.  “I’m scared.”

My dad texted back. “Germany survived Hitler.  Russia survived Stalin.”

I didn’t even know how to respond to that. Millions of Jews died under Hitler. The people who survived were the people who didn’t have to be afraid in the first place. I knew I probably wouldn’t be alive without my antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds, which were covered by Obana’s healthcare plan. If Drumpf won, he’d certainly repeal that plan, and my anxiety and depression would probably kill me.

I felt like I was going to throw up. I ran to the bathroom and tried to throw up, but nothing came out. I wanted to cry. It wasn’t over yet. But these leads weren’t going away. Drumpf had picked up Montana, Wyoming and Louisiana and was more than halfway there now at 140, and had added leads in Georgia and Nevada. Hilary had leads in Minnesota, Colorado and New Mexico, but that wouldn’t be enough.

My phone went off with another text from my dad. “We have each other. That’s what matters most.”

I considered calling my parents, but often they got annoyed when I had one of my freakouts. I hated my freakouts, too. I always hated them. But I needed support during them.  Still, it wasn’t fair to burden my parents. I was an adult now. I couldn’t force myself on them. I started crying now, not even bothering trying to stop myself. 

My roommate had gone to a bar with friends to watch the results, so I was at the apartment alone and didn’t have to worry about my roommate hearing me. I was sure there were green boogers on my face. My stomach hurt and I could barely see clearly. This was one of the extreme ones, ones that regularly happened after the 2004 election and the loss of Finchel, ones I didn’t even bother trying to stop because they came anyway. This was a mixture of the physical and emotional extremes, not just the extreme thoughts, fast heartbeats, soreness, chest pain, saying bizarre things, and inability to stay still that usually led to pacing around wherever I was at the time when I had my more mild freakouts.  All I could do now was hope that things got better - and cry. I was lucky the people in the apartment upstairs didn’t hear me. It was dark and rainy outside, as if that was an omen for bad things to come. My phone went off with a text from my mom. “Do you want to come home for a few days?”

My parents seemed to think this was over.  Whenever I talked to them about my fears about the election, they talked about how they were sure Hilary would win. Did they really believe that? I replied to the text.  “I can’t put my life on hold.”

I logged on to her computer again. The people I followed were getting nervous, too. There were lots of “I’m nervous” and “why is this happening” type posts rather than the earlier posts of anticipation and optimism. 

These posts made things even more confusing. Practically everyone I knew was voting for Hilary. From the town I’d grown up in, to college, to my various jobs, I’d spent most of my life in liberal settings. But posts didn’t get people elected, signs didn’t get people elected, endorsements didn’t get people elected. All that mattered was who got out to vote. Drumpf’s supporters called themselves the “silent majority.” Maybe that was what they really were. They didn’t talk about it or put up signs or put posts on social media, but they did go to the ballot box and vote. I’d done whatever work I could fit into my busy schedule, as had so many people in other swing states, but that hadn’t been enough, clearly. I wished I could have done more.

Now I got another text, from my brother, Johnny.  “Love you!”

Iowa was called for Trump. I collapsed to the floor, feeling like I was having a heart attack now and sure I’d have a carpet burn soon. Iowa, the state I’d worked so hard in for the past three presidential elections. I got out my phone and texted my parents and brother: “I’m just so sad.”  What else was there to say? I was more than sad. I was terrified. I was angry. I was hurt. I was sick.

The 11 p.m. polls closed, and Hilary added Washington, Oregon, California and Hawaii to her column. But this all likely wouldn’t be enough. The leads in the swing states weren’t going away, and the red Iowa stood out like a blister. Why? Why was this happening? How had all those polls been so off?

I saw that I had new text messages from my parents and brother. I wasn’t going to burden them right now. If I talked to anyone, I’d likely start hyperventilating and crying. I couldn’t believe I was watching someone I looked up to being beaten by who I thought was the worst person I’d even seen.

In a way, I could believe this was happening.  The people and things I was a fan of ALWAYS went up in smoke. The one exception was the Chargers winning the World Series last week. Of course there was what happened with John Carey twelve years ago. Three years ago, Finchel had been destroyed. After both the 2004 election and the loss of Finchel, I had been furious and depressed, not wanting to do much of anything and spending much of my time crying in my room. My family and friends hadn’t understood why I was so upset. I was attached to the people and things I was a fan of because I had so much trouble forming close relationships, but people didn’t get that. It only made sense that Hilary Rodman would meet the same fate as other things I loved.

Florida was called for Drumpf. Colorado and Nevada were called for Hilary, but Drumpf was still up in electoral votes. Even worse, the gaps in the swing states were shrinking. Now Georgia and Ohio were called for Trump. Would any of the swing states come through? Hilary was up in New Hampshire, but that was only four electoral votes.

Time passed. The news anchors were supposed to be bipartisan, but I could tell they were confused too, and scared. The country was at risk. My feeds on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter were full of posts of panic, posts about how Hilary didn’t deserve this and how it was unfair that all of Obana’s progress would be undone.

Then Pennsylvania was called for Drumpf. He had 264 electoral votes now. Only six more were needed. This was over. He would definitely win Alaska, which was three, meaning Hilary had to win all the states that hadn’t been called yet, and Drumpf had leads in Arizona, Michigan and Wisconsin.

It was clear to me now.  The universe didn’t want me to be happy.  Every time I was happy, a huge blow came and destroyed it.  Sure, there were periods of my life where I’d managed myself well enough, but I was tired of this. I was tired of anxiety. I was tired of depression. I was tired of Colton being with Helen. I was tired of the things I liked getting ruined. I was tired of failed exam after failed exam. I was tired of being on my feet all day at my retail job and still being criticized there for every little thing. I was tired of Drumpf.

But I wouldn’t be getting rid of Drumpf. Alaska was called for him and so was Arizona.  He’d won.

The internet was appalled - well, the people I followed on the internet were appalled.  But clearly, there were people out there who weren’t appalled.  People thought all the horrible things he said and did were okay.  Hilary wasn’t perfect, but who was?  This was so disgusting, so sickening, so upsetting.  I didn’t want to deal with it.  It hadn’t even happened yet and I was tired of it.  I was tired of Drumpf.

And maybe it would all be better if it was just all over.  I was going to die if Drumpf repealed Obana’s health care act, which he certainly would.  Maybe I should just get it over with and not have to suffer through the Drumpf presidency. I scribbled a note to leave on my dresser that I couldn’t live in a world where Drumpf was president. I headed to my car. The night felt endless. I wanted to drive and didn't care where I ended up, only for there to be an end.

[kfhfiction]

November 8, 2016 - Lea

I turned on the TV in my bedroom, feeling cautiously optimistic about what was to come.  It was Election Night of 2016 and I’d spent the past year working for Hilary Rodman, a candidate who I’d really liked from her time as First Lady, then as a Senator, and finally as Secretary of State.  She fought for things I believed in, like abortion rights, better education, affordable health care, strong international relations, marriage equality, gun control, and building more jobs.  So I was thrilled when she decided to run for president and got involved in her campaign right away.  My wall was decked out with a Hilary for President sign and a “Love Trumps Hate” sign, along with posters from other campaigns I’d been involved with. The newest addition to my wall, though not political, was from last week, when my favorite baseball team, the Cleveland Spiders, won the World Series. Hopefully, I’d soon have Hilary Rodman victory posters to put on the wall.

Before Barack Obana was elected president eight years ago, the country was in the midst of two wars and the worst economic crisis in a century.  Over the past eight years, unemployment had dropped, the Affordable Care Act had been passed that gave more Americans health care and marriage equality had become a reality.  But there was still more to be done and I was sure Hilary Rodman would continue that progress. The warmer-than-usual-for-November weather felt like a good omen for things to come.

As an individual, my life had been full of ups and downs over the past eight years.  The first campaign I’d really been actively involved with was Obana’s, when I was a high school senior, too young to vote by one year.  So I spent my weekends at the Obana office making phone calls, stuffing envelopes and entering data. I did this again for his re-election campaign four years ago.

Then college started. It was a disaster. My whole life, I’d struggled with anxiety and depression, and the large college campus with lots of people and lots of noise didn’t mesh well with my anxiety. I’d never done well on exams, and since exams were such a big part of college, my grades were consistently low. At least in high school, even though I hadn’t been close to very many people, there were a lot of people who I liked who I also thought liked me. I struggled to make friends and I’d struggled with exams my whole life. After three and a half years, I decided to take a break and got a retail job. After two and a half years at the retail job, I’d gone back to college. While I was doing better this time around, it was hard balancing school and work and the exams were still giving me trouble. I was doing homework on the bus between school and work so that I had more free time during my limited time at home. I didn’t even get to do as much volunteering for Hilary’s campaign as I would have liked.

There was one bright spot of my first stint of college: I started watching the TV show Glee as a freshman, and as a sophomore, I began writing fanfiction about the Finn/Rachel pairing, or Finchel, as it was known.  I’d made friends online through her fanfiction writing and gotten all sorts of positive comments.  Finchel had gotten me through my early college struggles, my trouble with finding a job before I got the retail job I had now, through anxiety and depression spells... then the actor who played Finn died, and instead of recasting and continuing the story, the writers killed Finn rather than hiring a new actor or giving Finchel an offscreen happy ending.  That had been devastating for me, but the Hilary Rodman campaign and the Spiders World Series win helped me feel better about the loss of Finchel.  I looked at my wall, where I still had a Finchel poster, right next to the Spiders World Series Champions poster.

The first thing I saw when I turned on the TV was the Republican presidential nominee, Donald Drumpf. Just the sight of the obese man, with the overdone spray tan and the blonde hair that looked fake, made me cringe. Drumpf was a bully, narcissistic, immature, ignorant, racist, homophobic, sexist, anti-Islamic, anti-immigrant and anti-disabled.  He constantly threatened and mocked people. He had no experience. 

I remembered the day I’d been at the gym and seen Drumpf mock a disabled reporter and asked the person on the bike next to mine how anyone could support someone like that. I remembered watching TV the day after the Democratic National Convention and Drumpf had attacked a Gold Star Family who’d spoken on Hilary’s behalf.  I remembered leaving class one day and a classmate told me that a recording had surfaced of Drumpf talking about how he could just “grab (women) by the pussy.”  

Yet, the horrible things Drumpf said were garnering more and more attention, and no matter how horrible the thing he said was, it couldn’t lose him supporters.

But Hilary was up in the polls.  She did better in the debates.  She had more endorsements.  Even a few Republicans were backing her, or at least refusing to back their own nominee.  And although I was worried, all the prediction markets were predicting that she would win.

I scrolled through my social media feeds.  Most of the people I followed were posting pro-Hilary statuses.  One thing stood out - a post from my favorite player on the Spiders, Cory Hudson, encouraging people to get out and vote.  I felt a connection to all the Spiders because they made up the team I loved watching, but he was definitely my favorite. He was one of the best players in the league, a great catcher and a great hitter, yet he was very humble. He did a lot of great work in the community. I’d wanted the World Series title for all of them, but especially for him. I’d met him a few times and he’d always made me feel special and so appreciated.

In the photo with Cory was his wife, Haley. I didn’t like her at all. She reminded me of the mean girls I’d gone to school with and of the girls from the religious cult whose meetings I briefly went to in college to meet new people. Haley always seemed smug and full of herself in interviews and on social media and was constantly spouting religious bullshit. It was clear from the book they’d written together that she’d manipulated him into being with her because his dad had left, his mom had to work late a lot and she let him spend lots of time at his house. He often came off as being uncomfortable with her when they made joint appearances. He’d always been so sweet when I met him and I knew fans who she’d been rude to. He’d had to apologize to those fans for her behavior. I didn’t understand why someone like him was with someone like her.

My thoughts were interrupted when CNN announced their first calls.  They were calling Indiana and Kentucky for Drumpf and Vermont for Hilary. Drumpf had 19 electoral votes and Hilary had 3. Oh well, the states Hilary was expected to do well in weren’t closing until later. She would win this election, right?  After all, in 2008 and 2012, Obana was behind at first because of the states that closed early and won by a huge margin.

My computer beeped. I had a new email. Another failed exam. I’d never been very good at school. I wasn’t sure what it was, but no matter how hard I tried, I never managed to pass exams.  Every time I took an exam, it went the same way. I’d go into the test-taking room in Iowa University’s disability service office with those stupid sight blockers surrounding the desk. My mind would go blank when I was handed the exam, and no matter how hard I studied, all the information would be forgotten when it was handed to me. The time seemed to pass slowly, but in reality, it would go by quickly. I wasn’t even sure how I’d gotten into IU, which was supposed to be the best university in the state, after three and a half years of doing poorly at another state school. Maybe because of my essay about my history with anxiety and depression and how I was able to live with them.

The 8 p.m. polls closed. Hilary won New Jersey, Massachusetts, Delaware and Maryland and had 44 electoral votes now. She was up by 10 points in Ohio, up by 7 in North Carolina, up by 7 in New Hampshire and up by 1 in Florida. This was amazing! Maybe all those panic attacks and sleepless nights had been for nothing. Hilary was winning. Drumpf had picked up West Virginia and Oklahoma, but Hilary wouldn’t have won those states anyway.

The deep south polls were starting to close. Now Drumpf had picked up Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee and South Carolina. He had 66 electoral votes to Hilary’s 48, as she’d only just picked up Rhode Island.  But she was still up in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan, North Carolina and New Hampshire... couldn’t the networks just call these states for Hilary? My heart was starting to beat fast.

I remembered when she went to go see Hilary speak about a month ago. I’d barely slept the night before because I was so excited and went pacing around my apartment in hopes of wearing myself out to get some sleep, but that didn’t work. I got to the rally’s location, IU’s football stadium, early so I could get a good place in line. It had been a long wait.  There had been lots of people and they’d played loud music. I didn’t like crowds, noise or music at all, so that hadn’t been pleasant. I wanted to go to a quiet place to wait, but I knew if I did, I’d lose my place in line and not get a good glimpse of Hilary. More than once, I found myself wondering if it would be worth it.

Once Hilary came out, it was all worth it. I had an amazing seat in the 100,000 seat stadium and didn’t need to look at the projector to see her at the podium. She was even more impressive in person than she was on television and online. I didn’t think it was possible for someone in such a stressful position to have so much energy and be so happy, but there Hilary was, in her signature pantsuits, talking about all her ideas for the country. It made all the difficult times I had gone through worth it.

Wait. What was happening now?  Why were Hilary’s leads in the swing states shrinking?  Now Drumpf was up in Wisconsin, Michigan, New Hampshire, Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Ohio - and Iowa. Iowa. My home state.  The state I’d done so much work in. Yes, Hilary had just won a few states and had 104 electoral votes now. She’d picked up Illinois and Connecticut, and to my surprise, she had won New York, Trump’s home state. But he had 129 thanks to Arkansas, Texas, North and South Dakota, Nebraska and Kansas and was halfway to 270. That didn’t even take into account all the swing states he was up in. This was bad.

I was strongly reminded of Election Night 2004. I’d been a thirteen-year-old at my parents’ house. My family was optimistic that John Carey would become president and my parents had a party snack tray for me and my brother, who was six at the time. My parents had also gotten us each a map to color in as the states were called - blue for the Democratic states, red for the Republican ones. There were times when John Carey had a lead, like Hilary Rodman had less than an hour ago. But the clock ticked on that night, and I’d colored more states in red than in blue. 

Eventually, I felt like I could fall asleep on the couch in the living room, but I’d wanted to stay up so I could be there when the news anchors announced my idol had been elected president. At around midnight, my parents sent me to bed. I had school in the morning. That morning, it was revealed that the incumbent president had won the election. I couldn’t remember that morning well, but I did remember breaking down crying at school and losing motivation to do anything. I remembered stabbing myself with my mother’s knitting needles with plans to kill myself because I didn’t want to continue to live in a world with George Walker as president. I remembered the trip to the ER after I’d been caught and being lectured by a psychiatrist about how self-harming and suicide weren’t the answer, that he wouldn’t be president forever and that things would get better.

The night before that election, I had gone to see John Carey speak, and it had been absolutely incredible.  Back in 2004, my struggles with school were beginning and I basically had no friends, had just been diagnosed with anxiety and was even having troubles with ice skating. But one thing made me smile - the Carey campaign.  I’d gone to his website every day to watch videos of his campaign events and his ads and had been convinced he’d defeat the incumbent president and put a stop to the Iraq war that I thought was pointless.

That hadn’t happened.  But certainly the United States had learned something, right?  They wouldn’t elect someone even worse than George Walker, would they?

My phone went off.  It was a text from my dad.  “This is bad.”

My parents had a feeling this wasn’t good either. They’d reassured me a lot when I talked to them about my fears about the election. If they thought it was bad, it must be bad. I replied to the text.  “I’m scared.”

My dad texted back. “Germany survived Hitler.  Russia survived Stalin.”

I didn’t even know how to respond to that. Millions of Jews died under Hitler. The people who survived were the people who didn’t have to be afraid in the first place. I knew I probably wouldn’t be alive without my antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds, which were covered by Obana’s healthcare plan. If Drumpf won, he’d certainly repeal that plan, and my anxiety and depression would probably kill me.

I felt like I was going to throw up. I ran to the bathroom and tried to throw up, but nothing came out. I wanted to cry. It wasn’t over yet. But these leads weren’t going away. Drumpf had picked up Montana, Wyoming and Louisiana and was more than halfway there now at 140, and had added leads in Georgia and Nevada. Hilary had leads in Minnesota, Colorado and New Mexico, but that wouldn’t be enough.

My phone went off with another text from my dad. “We have each other. That’s what matters most.”

I considered calling my parents, but often they got annoyed when I had one of my freakouts. I hated my freakouts, too. I always hated them. But I needed support during them.  Still, it wasn’t fair to burden my parents. I was an adult now. I couldn’t force myself on them. I started crying now, not even bothering trying to stop myself. 

My roommate had gone to a bar with friends to watch the results, so I was at the apartment alone and didn’t have to worry about my roommate hearing me. I was sure there were green boogers on my face. My stomach hurt and I could barely see clearly. This was one of the extreme ones, ones that regularly happened after the 2004 election and the loss of Finchel, ones I didn’t even bother trying to stop because they came anyway. This was a mixture of the physical and emotional extremes, not just the extreme thoughts, fast heartbeats, soreness, chest pain, saying bizarre things, and inability to stay still that usually led to pacing around wherever I was at the time when I had my more mild freakouts.  All I could do now was hope that things got better - and cry. I was lucky the people in the apartment upstairs didn’t hear me. It was dark and rainy outside, as if that was an omen for bad things to come. My phone went off with a text from my mom. “Do you want to come home for a few days?”

My parents seemed to think this was over.  Whenever I talked to them about my fears about the election, they talked about how they were sure Hilary would win. Did they really believe that? I replied to the text.  “I can’t put my life on hold.”

I logged on to her computer again. The people I followed were getting nervous, too. There were lots of “I’m nervous” and “why is this happening” type posts rather than the earlier posts of anticipation and optimism. 

These posts made things even more confusing. Practically everyone I knew was voting for Hilary. From the town I’d grown up in, to college, to my various jobs, I’d spent most of my life in liberal settings. But posts didn’t get people elected, signs didn’t get people elected, endorsements didn’t get people elected. All that mattered was who got out to vote. Drumpf’s supporters called themselves the “silent majority.” Maybe that was what they really were. They didn’t talk about it or put up signs or put posts on social media, but they did go to the ballot box and vote. I’d done whatever work I could fit into my schedule, as had so many people in other swing states, but that hadn’t been enough, clearly. I wished I could have done more.

Now I got another text, from my brother, Johnny.  “Love you!”

Iowa was called for Drumpf. I collapsed to the floor, feeling like I was having a heart attack now and sure I’d have a carpet burn soon. Iowa, the state I’d worked so hard in for the past three presidential elections. I got out my phone and texted my parents and brother: “I’m just so sad.”  What else was there to say? I was more than sad. I was terrified. I was angry. I was hurt. I was sick.

The 11 p.m. polls closed, and Hilary added Washington, Oregon, California and Hawaii to her column. But this all likely wouldn’t be enough. The leads in the swing states weren’t going away, and the red Iowa stood out like a blister. Why? Why was this happening? How had all those polls been so off?

I saw that I had new text messages from my parents and brother. I wasn’t going to burden them right now. If I talked to anyone, I’d likely start hyperventilating and crying. I couldn’t believe I was watching someone I looked up to being beaten by who I thought was the worst person I’d even seen. 

In a way, I could believe this was happening.  The people and things I was a fan of ALWAYS went up in smoke. The one exception was the Spiders winning the World Series last week. Of course there was what happened with John Carey twelve years ago. Three years ago, Finchel had been destroyed. After both the 2004 election and the loss of Finchel, I had been furious and depressed, not wanting to do much of anything and spending much of my time crying in my room. My family and friends hadn’t understood why I was so upset. I was attached to the people and things I was a fan of because I had so much trouble forming close relationships, but people didn’t get that. It only made sense that Hilary Rodman would meet the same fate as other things I loved.

Florida was called for Drumpf. Colorado and Nevada were called for Hilary, but Drumpf was still up in electoral votes. Even worse, the gaps in the swing states were shrinking. Now Georgia and Ohio were called for Trump. Would any of the swing states come through? Hilary was up in New Hampshire, but that was only four electoral votes.

The time passed.  The news anchors were supposed to be bipartisan, but I could tell they were confused too, and scared. The country was at risk. My feeds on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter were full of posts of panic, posts about how Hilary didn’t deserve this and how it was unfair that all of Obana’s progress would be undone.

Then Pennsylvania was called for Drumpf. He had 264 electoral votes now. Only six more were needed. This was over. He would definitely win Alaska, which was three, meaning Hilary had to win all the states that hadn’t been called yet, and Drumpf had leads in Arizona, Michigan and Wisconsin.

It was clear to me now.  The universe didn’t want me to be happy.  Every time I was happy, a huge blow came and destroyed it.  Sure, there were periods of my life where I’d managed myself well enough, but I was tired of this. I was tired of anxiety. I was tired of depression. I was tired of Cory choosing Haley over me. I was tired of the things I liked getting ruined. I was tired of failed exam after failed exam. I was tired of being on my feet all day at my retail job and still being criticized there for every little thing. I was tired of Drumpf.

But I wouldn’t be getting rid of Drumpf. Alaska was called for him and so was Arizona.  He’d won.

The internet was appalled - well, the people I followed on the internet were appalled.  But clearly, there were people out there who weren’t appalled.  People thought all the horrible things he said and did were okay.  Hilary wasn’t perfect, but who was?  This was so disgusting, so sickening, so upsetting.  I didn’t want to deal with it.  It hadn’t even happened yet and I was tired of it.  I was tired of Drumpf.

And maybe it would all be better if it was just all over.  I was going to die if Drumpf repealed Obana’s health care act, which he certainly would.  Maybe I should get it over with and not suffer through the Drumpf presidency. I scribbled a note to leave on my dresser that I couldn’t live in a world where Drumpf was president and headed to my car. The night felt endless. I wanted to drive and didn't care where I ended up, only for there to be an end.

[zenruption]

AI Is Here, and It Is Already Replacing Me

Well, at least, that’s the only assumption I can make. Everything correlates, but correlation doesn’t necessarily mean causality; I just can’t find another explanation.

Let’s start from the beginning.

I had done plenty of writing and marketing over my lifetime, but financial desperation during the pandemic pushed me to try copy and content writing through internet-based writing services. It turned out I am good at it. Ok, better than good; one of the elite.

Things started steamrolling fast, and I pronounced writing my full-time profession two months after I started and only continued to my career and earnings for the next 13 months.

Then Along Came AI

It has now been three weeks with close to zero work, which correlates very well with the release of ChatGPT 4.0. And I’m not alone. Other very proficient copy and content writers have no work whatsoever. We feared AI when it took off, like the USS Enterprise jumping to warp speed, but we all thought there would be a lot more time.

ChatGPT was released on November 30, 2022, and reached 100 million users within two months. No other internet application even comes close to that rapidity of growth. Facebook needed four and a half years to reach 100 million users. Instagram needed two and a half years, Twitter took five years, and even the sensation that is TikTok took nine months. 

Within the first month of ChatGPT, realtors were already praising it for its ability to write their listings, but overall it was pretty lousy. Its writing was bland and reflected that the system merely redistilled what it found online. We writers were left thinking, “Ok, so the content mills comprised of writers in India will be replaced, but we’re too damn good to replace for at least some time.” 

It wouldn’t replace those of us that get results, right?

AI Moves Faster Than We Can Comprehend

When one hears that AI is self-learning, that description is bound by our own experience. We think of learning something as a process that takes extended periods of time with subsequent gain after gain, but when AI learns, it isn’t linear or at a fixed rate. AI learns and grows exponentially, meaning it can learn anything in ever shorter periods of time.

Here’s an example: ChatGPT 3.5 passed two sections of the Bar Exam (and failed the multiple choice section) in January, achieving similar scores to average test takers. Chat GPT 4.0 passed the entire Bar Exam in the top 10% of test-takers in mid-March.

ChatGPT didn’t only develop an incredible legal ability in a couple of months but has shown the same progression and results on medical and business school exams. It will only continue to improve, and even its creators don’t know where it will be heading next.

The Behavioral Economics Question

As a huge fan of using economics to evaluate human behavior, I have to question how willing businesses are to trade off high-quality writing that speaks to their customers for lackluster free content. 

Unfortunately, writers see our services constantly devalued, with people that want excellence and highly educated writers for minimum wage rates. AI will better serve those people, but how will those that spend more for quality work weigh the quality/cost tradeoff? For now, it seems that cheap is winning. Where we go from here is questionable, but most freelancers can’t handle this lack of work for any time.

Many companies might eventually realize that using original, non-AI-generated writing gives them a competitive edge over others, but that remains to be seen.

Other Careers in Question

Where human creativity isn’t prized, AI might already impact those working as paralegals, 1st-year attorneys, and coders. Eventually, we can expect it to start replacing financial advisors, bookkeepers, truck drivers, receptionists, retail workers, and people monitoring and programming the AI itself.

The Timeline has Changed

Once, I believed the futurists were fairly correct, if not overly cautious. Google futurist Ray Kurzweil predicted that about 2050, AI resulting from incredible computing power would create daily innovations and disruptions to the point of imbuing humanity with near-god-like powers, including the possibility of never dying. All bets would be off the table.

David Levy, in his seminal work “Love and Sex With Robots,” predicted it would be in that same time frame that humans would be falling in love with and marrying humanoid robots.

Personally, I thought they were about 5-7 years behind, but we were all wrong.

While we all based predictions on computing power growth, we missed the advancement in how the code is written. Intermodal large language models work across what were once separate AI systems and learn at rates not previously imagined. All bets are off the table now.

What was predicted to happen around 2050 could happen by the early 2030s. Within a year, the changes could be seismic.

So, What Now

For now, I am still the far best choice for companies that need outstanding writing; whether they come to me is another story entirely. Strategizing and marketing myself is my daily regimen. I hope to find a full-time job immediately before a writer and his puppy have to hold up a sign at the intersection stating, “One of the first automated away. Will write for food.”

My greatest concern is the total lack of preparedness in our country. It's been apparent for years that this day would eventually come. Yet, we’ve been hamstrung with a political party more worried about morality laws and culture wars than feeding our own and planning for the future.

This doesn’t clear itself up, and it doesn’t create new jobs, only replaces them. This isn’t the 90’s tech boom.

Unless addressed now, AI tremendously exacerbates inequality worldwide and reverses the worldwide gains in alleviating poverty that has happened over decades. Our economics have to change, taxation has to become far more progressive, and laws need to be enacted to reign in a new corporate AI war that could quickly upend humanity.

Combined with the impacts of climate change we continue to fail to address, mankind is not on a good path, and we must act now.

Brian McKay is (maybe was) a professional writer, MBA, political scientist, the creator of a few silly things, and an overall decent dude. He urges you to promote progressive political candidates that take the future of our world seriously.’