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remnantoforario · 4 years

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Remnant’s Top Ten Anime of 2020

2020 Was certainly a ride wasn’t it? To those that managed to make to make it through in one piece, or any piece, good job. Hopefully 2021 is better to us all.

Despite the world mostly being on fire, I’d hazard to say that a lot of good shows came out in 2020 (despite a number of them being delayed to either later in the year or this year altogether). I meant to release this list much earlier, but I kept changing it around.

Anyway, here are the ones I thought were the best.

Honorable Mentions:

Dorohedoro

Synopsis: The plot centers on a man named Caiman and his search for his real identity after a transformation by a sorcerer left him with a reptile's head and no memory of his former life.

Along with his friend Nikaido, he violently assaults sorcerers in the Hole, with the aim of taking their heads into his mouth, where a strange face will appear and confirm whether the sorcerer he has bitten onto was the one responsible for his transformation or not.

As the residents of the Hole, the En family and the Cross-Eyes gang, along with many others, collide with one another, the mystery of Caiman's identity begins to unravel, reigniting ancient grudges and threatening to forever change both the Hole and the sorcerers' world.

Thoughts: This is the only Netflix anime I watched this year (I missed out on Great Pretender before the year ended), and I can honestly say I had fun with this one. It’s animation was good, the story was engaging enough, and the characters were all unique (Noi best girl). The one problem I would say with the show is that it can come off as unfocused at times, meandering from one plaot point to another with no real connective tissue.

Still a fun series though.

ID: Invaded

Synopsis: The anime follows the investigations of Narihisago, a renowned detective now in prison, who is tasked with diving into the id wells of various serial killers.

Two years prior to the current events, Narihisago's daughter Muku was brutally murdered by a serial killer, leading Narihisago's wife to commit suicide. These deaths prompted him to hunt down and murder the killer, earning him his prison sentence. He is still depressed and haunted by his wife and daughter's deaths, but also uses this as motivation to take his work seriously and help stop serial killers.

Thoughts: One of a handful of original series that came out this year. This show gave me heavy Inception/Minority Report vibes from both its premise and presentation. It wobbles under the weight of its own concepts towards the end, but it still a fun ride nonetheless.

Gleipnir

Synopsis: The story centers on Shuichi Kagaya, a high school student with an unusual secret. He has the ability to transform into a monster resembling a giant dog mascot costume with a zipper down his back and a large cartoonish smile. After rescuing a strange girl, Claire Aoki, from a warehouse fire, they join each other to search for Claire's older sister, who is assumed to be responsible for the death of their parents.

Thoughts: When the initial rollout for this show began I admit I wasn’t really a fan. I thought it was just going to be a hyper violent, fanservice show. Now in some ways it is that, but if you really look Gleipnir tells a very interesting tale of identity and what it truly means to have a wish granted. The music was pretty good as well, and that’s really something from me as a person who doesn’t pay attention to soundtracks.

Hope this show gets a season 2, but if not I’ll more than likely start the manga.

Wandering Witch: The Journey of Elaina

Synopsis: Fascinated by the stories of Niké, a witch who traveled around the world, Elaina aspires to take the same course. Her determination of studying books and magic leads to her becoming the youngest apprentice witch to pass the sorcery exam.

However, when Elaina attempts to receive training in order to become a full-fledged witch, she is rejected due to her extraordinary talents until she finds Fran, the "Stardust Witch," whom accepts her. After earning her title, the "Ashen Witch," Elaina begins her exploration around the world, visiting and facing all kinds of people and places.

Thoughts: As a fan of the Light Novels, I was pretty excited when it was announced it was getting an anime. For the most part it didn’t disappoint. Though it skipped most of the stories in the novels, the show still told a few good stories that made for some amazingly animated tv.

Talentless Nana

Synposis: In the near future, mysterious monsters known as the "Enemies of Humanity" begin to appear, and with it so do children with supernatural powers called the "Talented". To prepare them for the upcoming battle against these Enemies, all the Talented are sent to a school located on a deserted island, where they have all their daily needs provided for until they graduate and communication with the outside world is forbidden.

One day, a new student named Nana Hiiragi arrives at the school. Her friendly and cheerful personality lets her quickly make friends with the class. However, with Nana comes a whole litany of mysterious occurrences on the island.

Thoughts: I can’t say too much about Nana without spoiling it’s first episode twist, but I will say that its a pretty interesting show with a fairly compelling game of cat and mouse being played.

Now on the the actual list:

10. The Misfit of Demon King Academy

Synopsis: After 2,000 years of countless wars and strife, the demon king Anos Voldigoad made a deal with the human hero, Kanon, to sacrifice his own life to ensure peace could flourish. Reincarnating 2,000 years later, Anos finds that royal demons now harshly rule over lower class hybrid demons in a society that values Anos's pureblood descendants over the demons who interbred with other species, such as humans and spirits.

Finding that magic as a whole has begun to decline and his descendants weaker as a result of the peace he created, Anos, now technically a hybrid himself, decides to reclaim his former title of Demon King, but first, he must graduate from the Demon King Academy where he is labeled a total misfit.

Thoughts: Originally I was going to put Nana in this spot, but its lack of a real ending pushed it out of the list. If only slightly. Misft at Demon Academy is just a fun ride from start to finish. There’s always something about shows with ridiculous OP protagonists (Overlord, One Punch Man, etc.) that gets the blood pumping.

It’s like junk food. Great for the right moment, but not needed all the time.

9. Ikebukuro West Gate Park

Synopsis: A charismatic troubleshooter tries to keep the peace between warring factions while protecting his loved ones in Ikebukuro West Gate Park.

Thoughts: I honestly had no idea what to make of this show when I first saw the synopsis, but I gave it a try on a whim. I’m glad I did because this was easily the dark horse of the Fall season. I really liked the mostly self contained story format the series had, and there were a few very good episodes here. Check it out.

8. My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

Synopsis: Catarina Claes, the young daughter of a noble family, one day bumps her head and regains memories of her past life as an otaku. It is then that she realizes she has been reborn into the world of the otome game Fortune Lover, reincarnated as the game's villainess who, regardless of what route the player took in the original game, is doomed to be either killed or exiled.

In order to avoid these routes that lead to doom, Catarina begins taking countermeasures to try and avoid things going the same way as the game. This, however, ends up having unexpected consequences on her relations with the other characters of the game's world.

Thoughts: Normally I’m not a fan of Reverse/Otome harem series, but somehow Bakarina managed to pull me in, to a good result. This show was easily one of the best comedies I watched this year with a good cast and a likable protagonist.

7. Deca-Dence

Synopsis: In the fortress city of Deca-dence, the lowly Tanker girl, Natsume, dreams of becoming a Gear warrior following her father's death during a Gadoll attack. She is assigned to a maintenance team led by Kaburagi whom she discovers is more than he appears. Kaburagi has a secret role in eliminating "bugs", humans who threaten Solid Quake's operations.

When Kaburagi discovers that Natsume is listed as dead in the company database, he decides to keep her under observation and offers to train her to fight.

Thoughts: Giant monsters and giant robots. What more do you need? Watch it.

6. A Certain Scientific Railgun T

Synposis: The Daihasei Festival has begun, and that of course means that Tokiwadai Middle School—a prestigious all-girls' middle school—is competing too. Despite the participation of the "Ace of Tokiwadai," Mikoto Misaka, the other students who are participating are still putting their utmost effort into winning, no matter how impossible the feat may seem against her might. However, not all is fun and games. Due to the the festival, Academy City opens to the outside world, and various factions have begun plotting ways to infiltrate the city. Misaka appears to be on their radar, and as the festival proceeds, people lurking from the shadows begin to emerge...

Thoughts: Not really much to say here. It’s the third season of Railgun, but good thing here is that each season of Railgun is better than the last. Truly the best of the To Aru universe.

5. BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense.

Synposis: Urged on by her friend, Kaede Honjō begins playing the VRMMORPG NewWorld Online under the name Maple. Not wanting to get hurt, Maple opts to be a shield user with maxed out defense stats, and continues putting every status point she earns in the game into increasing only her defense level.

As a result, she is left with slow foot speed and no magic, but her high defense allows her to endure most hits without taking any damage. This, along with her basic-level creative thinking, allows for her to make unexpected accomplishments in the game, its quests and events. By doing this, she ends up earning all kinds of equally unexpected skills and becomes one of the strongest players in the game. Thoughts: Bofuri is another OP power fantasy like Demon King Academy, but with the twist of being fused with CGDCT. The cast is extremely likable (especially Maple) and when Silver Link wants to they can make the battles REALLY dynamic. A nice comfortable watch, which was sorely needed in 2020.

4. Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle

Synposis: The story follows Princess Syalis, a young princess who was kidnapped by the demon king, and her quest to sleep well while imprisoned.

Thoughts: A simple premise for a not so simple story. Sleepy Princess for me was easily the best comedy of the year, with plenty of heart and action thrown in as well. I was wary of the series at first, thinking that the premise wouldnt be entertaining for more than a few episodes, but boy was I wrong. Each episode was funnier than the last and Doga Kobo pulled out all the stops to make it look as gorgeous as possible.

3. Jujutsu Kaisen

Synopsis: Idly indulging in baseless paranormal activities with the Occult Club, high schooler Yuuji Itadori spends his days at either the clubroom or the hospital, where he visits his bedridden grandfather. However, this leisurely lifestyle soon takes a turn for the strange when he unknowingly encounters a cursed item. Triggering a chain of supernatural occurrences, Yuuji finds himself suddenly thrust into the world of Curses—dreadful beings formed from human malice and negativity—after swallowing the said item, revealed to be a finger belonging to the demon Sukuna Ryoumen, the "King of Curses." Yuuji experiences first-hand the threat these Curses pose to society as he discovers his own newfound powers. Introduced to the Tokyo Metropolitan Jujutsu Technical High School, he begins to walk down a path from which he cannot return—the path of a Jujutsu sorcerer.

Thoughts: Originally I wasn’t going to put this on the list, because the season doesnt conclude this year, but I decided to make an exception since the show started so strong. Many people were hyping this up as the next big shonen, and they were right. Mappa really went balls to the wall with this show and I’m pretty hype for what happens this cour.

2. Akudama Drive

Synopsis: The bustling metropolis of Kansai, where cybernetic screens litter the neon landscape, may seem like a technological utopia at first glance. But in the dark alleys around the brightly-lit buildings, an unforgiving criminal underbelly still exists in the form of fugitives known as "Akudama." No stranger to these individuals, Kansai police begin the countdown to the public execution of an infamous Akudama "Cutthroat," guilty of killing 999 people. However, a mysterious message is sent to several elite Akudama, enlisting them to free Cutthroat for a substantial amount of money. An invisible hand seeks to gather these dangerous personas in one place, ensuring that the execution is well underway to becoming a full-blown bloodbath.

Thoughts: Want to know what it would be like if Quentin Tarantino made an anime? Well here you go. An adrenaline filled rollercoaster ride from start to finish with a crazy cast of characters and even crazier visuals. There’s even a bit of social commentary in there if you squint.

1. Oregairu Climax

Synopsis: Resolved to become a more independent person, Yukino Yukinoshita decides to smoothen things out with her parents, and the first step toward achieving that goal is to prove herself. As graduation draws closer for the third-year students, Iroha Isshiki—the president of the student council—requests a graduation prom in collaboration with the Volunteer Service Club. Yukino accepts this request of her own volition, hoping to use it as a chance to demonstrate her self-reliance, but what lies ahead of her may prove to be a hard hurdle to cross.

At the same time, a chance for the Volunteer Service Club members to better understand each other presents itself. And thus, Hachiman Hikigaya's hectic and bittersweet high school life begins to draw to a close.

Thoughts: The gif says it all really. I could just leave that there and end this list on a somewhat high note, but I’ll explain it.

Now objectively, there were better shows than this one (off the top of my head JJK comes to mind) but when you combine all three seasons there is no contest in my mind that Oregairu had one of the most perfect endings to a series I have ever seen.

It was an ending 7 years in the making. The first season in 2013 was good, the second season two years later was even better, but Climax was Oregairu at is absolute best and that goes beyond the story and characters. A lot of praise also has to go to Studio feel., who took over animation duties from Brain’s Base in season 2. While BB’s animation was much more accurate to the LN, feel’s more realistic designs fit the more mature direction the story was starting to go, giving the anime some of its best moments.

Watching Hachiman, Yukino, and Yui grow and change from naive teenagers to somewhat understood young adults was amazing and sometimes heartbreaking to watch. Hachiman’s search to find something “genuine”, Yukino’s desire to be independent, and Yui struggling with her feelings of love and friendship all clash and compliment in very interesting ways that makes these three characters even more relatable than they were before.

Lots of long running series don’t stick to landing, but in my eyes Oregairu stuck it perfectly. That’s why its my favorite anime of 2020.

Here’s to 2021.

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theothersarshi · 3 years

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My niece is thinking about what she wants to study in high school, and is thinking of opting for something more humanities-centered.

Now, I still haven’t managed to figure out the US system of school (mostly because I don’t really care), so I’ll assume you’re just as clueless about Romanian school systems as I am about Americans, and give you the tl;dr version.

You join a class and are part of that class between grades 9-12 (that’s high school), and you take the same classes with around 30 other people. The classes you take can be more about learning languages, or learning computer science, or learning “natural sciences” (I heard there’s a lot of biology and stuff there; I can’t be arsed to look it up, I was in CS). At the end of the 12th grade, you take the Baccalaureate exam, with various options for disciplines and difficulties based on your high school profile.

You opt for the class and school you wish to attend, and you’re admitted based on grades that... well, let’s not get into that, it’s irrelevant here.

Anyway. What should she opt for in high school? she asked me. Because she didn’t want math.

And I said - it doesn’t matter so much, I think. Do what you want. But whatever you do, study everything you can, as well as you can.

I can’t begin to explain how useful it is to know all sorts of shit.

You get a pandemic? Man, is it useful to understand some biology so you can follow discussions and know when someone is bullshitting.

You want to be an artist? Man, is it useful to know muscles and bones. And maybe computer stuff, so you can write just enough code to make you art go brrrr online.

You want to be a translator? Man, is it great to know the topics you’re translating.

You’re a computer programmer? Wow, is it helpful to understand languages so you can make the localization process easier.

You’re into media studies? Let me tell you about math and statistics.

You get bored with your job and want to switch careers? Let me tell you about how neat it is to have a great understanding of the basics of another career.

I know Law people who went into tech, and tech people who went into translation, and an archaeologist who is coding databases for everybody in town, and...

You never know what comes in useful until it does. You might not realize how many opportunities you have thanks to random knowledge - until they pop up.

It’s a lot easier to remember things you’ve learned twenty years ago than to try to learn new things. It’s also very exciting to realize you can do something your peers can’t.

Just... learn things. They’re great. Trust me. When I was in high school, I studied because it was the right thing to do, but I wasn’t very passionate about anything. These days, I’m pulling on that knowledge and thanking my lucky stars I was a geek.

#life advice #what to do in high school #all knowledge is worth having

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wellexecuted · 5 years

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First Year of Undergraduate Study: Lessons Learned

1) Notebooks won’t work for your year- long modules. They just don’t- you’ll find by the time your first semester has ended, you’ve already got three per module, and they’re all over the place. Unlike a binder, you can’t just clip in and reorder: missed readings completed later, seminars with additional notes emailed to you after class, will become random pages of notes in an (often indecipherable) spider’s web of in- class note taking, jotted information from readings, scraps of essay planning, that will take too much time to unravel. Do yourself a favour, and use folders- whether digital or physical- that you can divide up into weeks, or document types, and reference with ease when it comes to the exam crunch. Plus, you’ll save luggage space, something I’ve stressed, and will continue to stress time and again, will do your back and shoulders so much good as a commuter or big city student.

2) Talk to fellow students in all your classes. Talk to the people around you, for your own sake and theirs. They are just as dithering and clueless as you are- the kids you think are lofty and intimidating are often the friendliest. Making friends in your classes will make the awkward interim between reaching your lecture hall and taking your seat so much less daunting. It will also boost your confidence academically- being surrounded by people in the same boat as you is such a lovely thing, and when it comes to exam and deadline season, you’ll have shoulders to cry on, and like minds to share your ideas with.

3) Come up with your own, personal, deadline- hitting strategy. From the moment you choose your essay title, to the last hurrah of the final read- through, devise a loose method that works for you. Whether that’s starting weeks ahead with a detailed plan, or making brief summaries of readings to incorporate in the lead up to that final deadline, it will be so helpful to you in the long run to understand how you work in this respect. For many of us, it’s a totally new departure! Certainly with my a levels, I was so exam- minded from the get- go that I treated my coursework as secondary, an addition I took upon myself to nail and then pushed to the sidelines upon completion. Having a good, loose but solid method is integral.

4) Invest in a durable, lightweight planner. Even laptop users should have a paper planner- perfect for planning in advance, squeezing in your readings and research, scribbling email addressed, and jotting down room and time changes as they are mentioned. I discovered the Moleskine Weeks in January of last year, and I highly recommend it- it’s so slim and portable (did I mention I’m a commuter student???!!), and gives you your weekly overview on one side and an entire notes page on the other, as well as calendars at the front for the entire year.

5) Know when to give yourself a break. When you’re tired, sick or burnt out, do not fret over missing a day of lectures- befriend your seminar leader, and like- minded students, and ask them to catch you up. Seminar leaders are so approachable, and willing to send off any missed information. Become familiar with your university’s online database- often, lecturers will post lecture plan documents, and the slides of their presentation.

6) Check yourself when you start skipping regularly. Soon, the realisation that there are no immediate consequences for skipping class will hit. Make sure you’re going more often than you’re skipping: aim for an 80:20 ratio as a means of maintaining academic discipline.

7) Know where, when, and how, you work best. I mentioned in a previous post that now is the time to find your “thing”- your particular method of learning that Makes Things Stick. For me, it’s watching, and taking notes on, content (Crash Course World History being a long- standing favourite), alongside my readings and lecture notes. Not only should you try to come to know how you learn, but also when, and where, you learn best. I know plenty of people who can work for hours, in silence, in the university library- I personally cannot bear the absence of noise. I’ve found that I work best in two hour stints in coffee shops, and at home with some music in the background (Death Cab for Cutie have tonnes of gentle background music perfect for soft indie lovers). When is also a vital factor in your learning: whilst you don’t always have the luxury of determining when you study, it’s great to know when you work most efficiently when the day is all yours. As a self- professed “evening person”, I work the most efficiently between 4 and 10 p.m.- as a first year, I would often try and cram huge chunks of reading at 6 a.m. ahead of my morning lecture, and would suffer for it. This will help you immensely in the long run, and come exam season you will know what, when and where works for you.

8) Maintain your notes. In reading for, and taking notes during, lectures, you are creating a body of content to refer back to later. Treat it as such- read as broadly as you feel necessary, take notes in all of your classes, and do the work to catch up after skipped classes.

9) Enjoy learning, and exploring, your specialist subject. This slew of teaching and learning is the perfect time to enjoy the privilege of immersion- you’ve got tonnes of resources at your fingertips, professors who are absolutely infatuated with their fields, and time is on your side. Enjoy learning unabashedly! This first year of study is an incredible opportunity to find your niche.

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certmagic-itcertification · 3 years

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How to prepare for the Exam DP-300: Administering Relational Databases on Microsoft Azure!

In this article, we will show how to prepare yourself for the DP-300 exam: Administering Relational Databases on the Microsoft Azure certificate exam.

Exam Overview:

The Administering Relational Databases on the Microsoft Azure certificate exam measures your intermediate-level knowledge in seven main areas. This includes:

How to plan and implement data platform resources, with relative questions weight in the exam up to 20%

How to implement a secure environment, with relative questions weight in the exam up to 20%

How to monitor and optimize operational resources, with relative questions weight in the exam up to 20%

How to optimize query performance, with relative questions weight in the exam up to 10%

How to perform automation of tasks, with relative questions weight in the exam up to 15%

How to plan and implement a High Availability and Disaster Recovery (HADR) environment, with relative questions weight in the exam up to 20%

How to perform administration by using T-SQL, with relative questions weight in the exam up to 15%

Before starting this course, it is recommended to have basic knowledge in:

Operating system and virtualization concepts, such as Virtual Machines, virtual networking, and virtual hard disks

The SQL Server Network configurations, such as TCP/IP, DNS, virtual, VPNs, firewalls, and in-transit encryption

SQL Server database creation, management, and configuration

Performing different administration tasks and querying using T-SQL language

SQL Server table and index types and structures

With no official prerequisites for this exam, it is recommended, but not mandatory, to take the Microsoft Azure Fundamentals (AZ-900) exam if you are very new to Microsoft Azure world, and take the Microsoft Azure Data Fundamentals (DP-900) if you are new to all Microsoft Azure data platform.

You can easily schedule the exam from the Administering Relational Databases on the Microsoft Azure certificate page.

Study Guideline:

In order to prepare yourself for the Administering Relational Databases on Microsoft Azure exam, you can go through this comprehensive book Administering Relational Databases on Microsoft Azure, in which you can find detailed information about each required skill and practice tests to measure your skills before the exam, or you can go through the 7-module Administering Relational Databases on Microsoft Azure Learning Path self-study course provided by Microsoft that helps you in getting the basic knowledge required to pass that exam.

If you are not interested in reading the pages and prefer to listen, you can subscribe to any online course such as CertMagic or any other training provided by training sites and centres.

Take into consideration that this exam contains a large number of subjects. In order to pass the exam, you need to have enough knowledge in each subject, without going very deep in each subject. For me, I prefer to be fully prepared for the certificates exams and gain all the required knowledge in order to be able to provide training in the courses I am certified in and apply these skills in my customers’ sites. So, I will list all measured skills in this course and the official resource to study that subject.

For More Detail Visit: https://www.certmagic.com/exam/mb-901-exams

#Microsoft #Itstudy #Helpingmaterial #Professional #Guaranteesuccess #Azuracertifications #CertMagic

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liu-lang · 4 years

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I took a few sips of my boyfriend’s coffee this morning and I’ve been jittery with a headache for the past 5 hours.

A big factor in my panic today is that the semester starts tmrw ! I’m taking 16 units (3 classes). Calculus is 5 units, python (computer science) is 4 units and linguistics is 3 units. Only python is synchronous as this is the first time they’re offering it ! Calc and ling are async and don’t have mandatory live class meetings. I looked at the syllabi for all my classes and know that as long as I am organised and disciplined I can handle this on top of my full-time job. Last semester I took precalc and data structures and the semester before tt I took Java and databases. So, so far I’ve been okay with 2 classes.

I really miss linguistics and this intro linguistics class is meant to be a refresher. I even used the same textbook in undergrad - an older edition though. Everything in the syllabus is familiar to me.

The python class has set class times Monday and Wednesday from 18h to 20h10. This is the same as my precalc class. Last semester, having live precalc class and a professor who concurrently was a full-time high school teacher was really good for my learning. The live lectures gave me an opportunity to ask questions and since he also had a full-time job outside of teaching us, he had very flexible deadlines for homework (just turn it in by the end of the semester). I was able turn my hw in on time every week until about November 2020 (so the last month of the semester) bc covid cases soared at work, my new boss was hired and I had to stay past 17h more often.

My data structures class was a struggle. It was asynchronous. It was the first time the prof was teaching this subject. She was very disorganised and didn’t publish or mark homework and quizzes on time. We went from 40 students to like 15 by the end of it. The syllabi was basically null where we would have multiple chapters overlap even though it was supposed to be 1 chapter per week bc she would publish things midweek. The keys to her exams were wrong and we would have to write her and justify why we should receive points for questions marked incorrectly. The only reason I survived was bc of the discord my classmates created.

I am afraid that I am taking on too much not because my job is intellectually difficult but that it is very tiring and the hours can vary. I wish I could use the bulk of my waking hours and energy on school instead. The part of me that has very high expectations for myself wants to do the best in all my classes and work and I know I can’t do that.

My calc class has optional live lecture on Mondays from 13h to 14h but I absolutely cannot stealthy participate. If I had a set lunch hour and a private place maybe I could. But I don’t have those, I pretty much work through my lunch and sit in an open shared area and I don’t want my employer to know I’m in school for something unrelated to my job. Everything will be recorded and viewable later. I wrote to the prof and asked about exam protocol. Luckily there is no live exam tt will be invigilated over zoom. We just have to turn the exam in before midnight on Friday. I am debating if I should I use my floating hours to maybe leave work 1 hour early on exam days ? The past semester I only took time off for the final exams.

If I wasn’t such an overachiever, I would be able to settle for just python and calculus. That seems like a more doable balance. I’m trying to convince myself tt my ling class will be an “easy” class but there are readings and discussion posts and essays tt you have to write. Another reason I’m piling these classes on now is that this may be the last semester tt is fully remote / online. Bc of my job I otherwise wouldn’t be able to attend these classes if they were offered in the day time.

I’m already panicking a bit and tempted to just drop all my classes and focus on work. I know all these choices are in my power. I get to choose what I want to do. I am in a privileged position where I have a full-time job and with this money I earn I can attend community college on top of already having my BA. But I also think about people who have the luxury and financial means to not work and just focus on school. I think about ppl who are born into generational wealth and they don’t have to be as pragmatic about what they do, they can ~follow their dreams~, they don’t have to think about supporting their family members or sending money back home or wonder about how/if their parents will be able to retire.

Every time I think about just working and not doing school at the same I’m reminded that I’m an immigrant and my mum did not bring me here for me not to try my best, for me not to make the most of the one life I have.

#personal #work

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portlandnet · 4 years

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Staying engaged as a NET Applicant

[Updated 2022.10.26] We have restarted in-person Basic NET Training (BNT) classes. Applicants are notified via email when a new cohort is announced.

But it’s still worth reviewing my Top Ten list of suggestions for remaining engaged before you can complete BNT, and getting creative to build ties with your Team and your neighbors. Our 2,100 Active volunteers are really inventive!

1. Applicants:

You can take most of the Basic CERT lecture training online for free through the University of Utah: www.onlinecert.org Select your organizational affiliation as ‘Portland NET’. If you get certified through that program, PBEM will honor the units and you will only need to complete hands-on triage and basic radio skills classes, and a Final Field Exercise (FFE) locally. Send your certificate to [email protected] and log your time as BASIC NET TRAINING.

Wait for an in-person Basic NET Training cohort that fits your schedule. If you already applied, you are in our database and will be notified when we begin scheduling new cohorts.

2. Participate in the weekly-ish Zoom briefings and trainings on Wednesdays from 6:00-7:00pm. Access information is sent a day or two in advance in NET Bulletin emails. You must be registered as a NET or Applicant to receive the invitations. An archive of recorded sessions is publicly available at https://portlandnet.tumblr.com/post/640703692174180352/complete-list-of-recorded-weekly-trainings-and.

3. I encourage you to reach out to your Team Leader who will welcome you to their team meetings. There is an interactive map and list of contacts here. If your team is not yet active, contact nearby Team Leaders and ask to be added to their mailing list(s), and participate in their Zoom meetings. Ultimately, NET is about building community.

4. Pursue self-study! To look up skills that we recommend developing, check out the online version of the Task Book, and the summary matrix about it. Keep records so that you receive the credit you deserve. Pick the fun stuff first. This should not be onerous.

We do not have any printed copies in stock, so please reference the online version for now.

5. Review PBEM-produced training videos https://bit.ly/net-training-videos

6. If you have blocks of time, I suggest taking IS-100 and IS-200. That content is a little dry but it is the foundation of how NETs operate, and interoperate with Fire & Rescue and Police. https://training.fema.gov/is/courseoverview.aspx?code=IS-100.c https://training.fema.gov/is/courseoverview.aspx?code=IS-200.c It might take more than one try to pass the exams, but don’t give up! When you succeed, send your electronic certificate(s) to [email protected] and I will record them in the database. You will be on your way toward extra credit when you take Basic NET, and ahead of your peers. Not that it’s a contest. :-)

7. Watch COOKED: Survival by Zip Code: , which examines the disproportionate impact of disasters on traditionally underserved communities: https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/videos/cooked-survival-by-zip-code Think about the June 2021 ‘heat dome’ tragedy here in Portland.

8. For bite-size snacks, keep an eye on the Tumblr https://portlandnet.tumblr.com. We curate a lot of good info there.

9. Please log your time. Even if you are not ‘official’ yet your time counts!

10. Remember that you are not indemnified by the City until you complete Basic NET Training, so under law you may not participate in deployments or in-person exercises. Complete information about indemnification is in the NET Guidelines section 800.45, and will be explained in an in-person Basic NET Training unit.

If you have any questions, drop me a line. Please do not be offended if it takes a few days to receive a reply. [email protected]

#bnt #GCD #advancednet

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lill-savagee-blog · 1 year

Text

Digital and smart technologies have embedded themselves seamlessly into every aspect of our life in the present day, becoming an essential component of our everyday lives. My day as a student is centered on a variety of digital and smart tools that enable me to do my schoolwork and satisfy my educational needs. Explore a normal school day with me as I show you how technology has changed the way I study and help me accomplish my activities.

I take my reliable laptop with me as I make my way to my first class. I don't use paper in class since I take notes immediately on my laptop, which ensures that all of my notes are organized in one digital notebook. Organizing and searching for specific notes is made simple by programs like MS Word or Google Docs, which is helpful when it comes to exams. The days of carrying bulky textbooks everywhere are over. Access to a sizable collection of eBooks and online materials is offered by my school. I can access textbooks, papers, and supporting resources directly from my laptop with a few taps on my e-reader app. We use the Wiley Digital Textbooks. In addition to saving my back, this lowers the amount of paper used. Moreover, modern education places a significant value on collaboration. I can easily collaborate on group projects thanks to tools like Google Workspace and Microsoft Teams. Even when our group members are far distant, we can easily exchange resources, have virtual meetings, and edit papers in real time. After school, it's time for some focused studying and doing backlogs. Websites like Canva and Quizlet enable me to produce creative work while effectively memorizing important phrases and ideas. These applications make sure I refresh the information at the right intervals for retention through the use of spaced repetition algorithms. They also guarantee the outstanding quality of work I must submit in order to meet my requirements. For students to succeed academically, organization is crucial. In order to keep track of my assignments, due dates, and extracurricular activities, I use to-do list applications and digital planners. One app I always use is Pomodoro. This application helps me prioritize my chores and offers me reminders, which prevents procrastinating, it also helps me to keep motivated and stay focused. Furthermore, the internet is a goldmine of knowledge for scientific classes and research tasks. My learning is enhanced by having access to online libraries, scholarly databases, virtual labs and video tutorials on YouTube.

Technology is no longer merely a tool for education in the digital era; it is a breakthrough force. My everyday learning schedule is proof of how digital and intelligent technologies have transformed how I and digital note-taking tools to eBooks and online resources, have not only made my life learn and achieve my academic objectives. These innovations, which range from collaborative easier but also improved my educational experience. I'm eager to see how technology will continue to influence education as I make my way through it, making it more convenient, interesting, and effective for learners like me.

#lifestyle #real life #technology

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embarrassingmomentsessay953 · 4 years

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blubberquark · 5 years

Text

Teaching to RTFM

I think RTFM has its place. I know I’m not in the minority with this view, but it’s not exactly polite to talk about it. We have all started out on the other side of RTFM at some point, clueless and helpless, not knowing where to begin.

To be quite honest, I wasn’t told to RTFM that much, because I learned to program from books when I was 12, and I wished I could ask somebody for guidance. My father still knew BASIC from the late 70s and early 80s, and my teachers knew enough PASCAL to pass their own exams and then teach children how to use Microsoft Excel. There was nobody to turn to.

When I started learning Java from a book, I was very confused, and I learned many bad habits, idiosyncrasies of the book’s author that I stuck with because I didn’t understand what they meant. Then I bought a bigger, heavier book about Java, and I slowly learned to program. I learned programming in general and Java in particular at the same time. One textbook explained what classes in Java do, but not why you would use them, and the other textbook vacillated between treating OOP as a scary newfangled concept nobody understands but everybody has to use because of Java, and something you have to be familiar with already because the book assumed you already knew C, C++, BASIC and smalltalk.

I read the manual and I didn’t understand. What finally got me to understand OOP was ironically learning and reading code in Python. Unlike in Java and smalltalk, OOP in Python is optional. Although everything in Python is an object, the common Pythonic programming style is procedural, with OOP constructs used sparingly when they make sense. This finally let me understand what OOP is good for. No amount of contrived examples like “class PickUpTruck extends Car { ... }“ helped me understand OOP in Java.

The same thing can happen with classes, module systems, macros, build systems, version control systems, bug trackers, databases, and visual modelling languages like UML and FMC. They are all paradigms or technologies to manage complexity, and if I give a student a toy teaching example of a SQL database, multi-module program, or UML diagram, then the student will be confused rather than enlightened. If the complexity is missing from the example, then the benefit of using complexity-mitigating technology is not obvious.

That even goes for comments! What good are comments in a textbook example, with explanatory text already left and right of the code listing?

If I had a teacher who could explain OOP to me, things would have been so much easier. Eventually, I managed to learn what I needed to learn. Some things are much, much harder to learn if you can’t ask a teacher multiple clarificatory question in quick succession. It would be even better if your teacher asked you a couple of questions to drill down on which part you didn’t understand.

Nowadays, I see many questions on Discord, IRC, and forums from people who are just starting out learning to program. It’s a vast difference between learning Unity3D when you are already a programmer who shipped software in C++ and wrote games in Java, and learning programming, C#, game design, level design, shaders, 3D modelling, and the Unity3D Engine in one go.

If somebody asks a confused question online, the first order of business is to establish whether they are an expert or a confused beginner. That can sound confusing and condescending, but I often fear if I give a straight answer to a confused question, I do more harm than good.

When somebody asks “How do I iterate over the pixels in a pygame surface?“, I can give the straight answer, or three advanced answers with different performance characteristics. You probably want to use numPy and cache the results during level loading. Maybe you can also use numPy if it’s only an occasional thing, and you can stomach the dozens of megabytes of native code dependencies. You probably want to use OpenGL with a GLSL fragment shader if you do the thing every frame. If perchance you want to do palette-swaps only, then you can use the pygame palette handing functions rather than iterating over pixels and doing a dict look-up each time. Iterating over all the pixels in a pygame surface is slow. You can probably get away with it on a 16x16 sprite, but not on a 1920x1080 screenshot.

That’s not even the worst of it! I see confused questions by people who think they found a bug in a library/framework/engine, but actually they just don’t understand their own code, or they don’t understand the programming language. I see confused questions by people who don’t know what problem they are actually encountering, who don’t know what to Google.

These people don’t need to be told to RTFM. Either they already read the manual, but they don’t understand it, or they don’t even know which manual, or what to look for. They can’t be told to RTFM, but they can’t be given straight answers either. The best thing you can do is to ask “You’re new to this, aren’t you?“ and point them to a more basic tutorial. Or, if your time is worthless, you can decide to tutor them one-on-one over the Internet.

All these problems can combine into the worst possible scenario: Somebody asks on StackOverflow/IRC/the mailing list/Slack/Discord, because their teacher is not available, or told them to learn to RTFM and figure it out independently. These people can be high school students too intimidated by their teachers to ask questions, university students who can’t be bothered to attend lectures or wait for office hours, or junior programmers who are trying to impress their boss.

Figuring things out is a useful skill to have, but it’s not something you should rely on in a high school class. If you’re a teacher, don’t punish students for asking questions! And don’t expect students to bother strangers on the Internet to do your job for you. The best thing you can do to get students to RTFM is to answer their questions when they get stuck, so they get a good idea of what to look for, which terms to search for, what to ask on IRC.

If you want to teach your pupils to RTFM, you should at least follow up with them and point them in the right direction in case they get stuck trying to look up the answer, or if they don’t understand the text in the manual. Of course you can assign reading, but for some reason, some of your pupils will take this to mean that you refuse to explain the topic, so the only recourse is to ask strangers online.

And then the student comes back next week and asks even more confused questions, now that the next assignment is due, impossible to complete without having understood last week’s topic.

Around a third of confused newbie questions I see are from students who would rather not ask their teachers, not even those who post whole homework assignments.

Some people want us to stop saying RTFM online, ever. They also want us to stop saying “You’re new to this, aren’t you?“ or “Please take a step back and think about what you are trying to accomplish with this“. They all are too condescending. I’m not just trying to shift the blame away from open source projects and programmer online communities. Confused online questions sometimes have offline causes. These causes cannot be hyperlinked, retroactively screenshotted, and posted to twitter.

For all the talk of rudeness online, many students would rather ask questions here than at school. Maybe the problem lies in the classroom.

#teaching programming #netiquette

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veridium · 5 years

Text

heartbreak warfare

WELCOME TO MORE QUEER PAIN

Hope ya’ll are ready for some shit. Because I brought the shit. Heaping dose, because I have had a wonderful day and feel all mushy. Enjoy!

part one // last episode

-- The man was a no-good blond bastard with too much wool in his wardrobe and clumsy taste in flowers. White carnations represent pure love, and he had the audacity to come around with a fist of them. He should have crawled up the stairs on his knees if he wanted to present pure love. Yelling at him made Olivia feel close to the goddess Medusa in levels of vindicated fury, though she was inconvenienced by the lack of hair snakes.

Despite her almighty and supernatural ire, Ellinor granting him entry is something she disagrees with but ultimately respects: her best friend is tired, and deserves to feel loved, and maybe the one silver lining is that there isn’t much else Cullen Rutherfudger can mess up more. Maybe if they get it together she won’t have to peel her up off the floor next weekend. Damn, had their standards for a good Saturday crashed down below sea level.

But, she will be keeping a close eye on him. A very close, and scathing, eye. To be fair, the man shows up and tows the line when he has fucked up; which is more than she can say for who she once thought of as a potential suitor as Sunday passes with no word. Potential suitor. Ugh, that kind of working only happens when you’ve paid attention to someone who’s a rhetorical romantic. Too much attention.

Monday comes, and is mundane. She keeps a low profile, and attends classes with little fuss; her Professor asks how she is doing because of her silence in class discussion, and she gives an excuse about getting over a head cold. Yeah, right. Besides lecture and a short shift at the gym, she goes back home to continue being reclusive. She does not cross paths with Ellinor much, though she fields the almost hourly texts asking her how she is, where she is, and if she needs anything. Ellinor is doing that innocent thing all friends do when they find themselves luckier in personal exploits than their loved ones: sympathy that is all-too-easily swallowed as pity when you’ve been kicked down one-too-many times.

Tuesday also comes and goes. Classes and a midterm exam, one she completes with confidence; cold war history is interesting enough. It helped that she had someone, for a brief time, to rant about it and dissect things. During the free response portion she uses a word Cassandra did during one of their debates: “pejorative.” How the hell she knew that word was whatever.

Then, Wednesday. Even though it’s only been a few days, when she wakes up to Ellinor’s voice it feels like it’s been a century since the last time she’s heard it.

“Liv, release the hostage oreos.” Oh, great. Long time no see, and she’s come into her room just to attack her for her life choices.

Olivia growls and hides away, bastard red velvet oreos in her clutches. “Bite me.”

“Liv. Come on,” Ellinor’s standing by her bed, hands on her hips like a fed up soccer mom trying to get her kid up for school. “You haven’t been responding to my texts and you don’t answer the door. I worried you ate yourself into a coma. I keep hearing the Scientist on repeat through your door. I think I can play the piano part off of just memory alone.”

“Good, maybe Cullen would enjoy another concert.”

“Olivia!”

She gives in and rolls over, tossing the oreos to her without looking. “Fine! Have at ‘em.” Ellinor misses and they fall onto the floor with a sharp, plastic crack. The worst part though is the thought that comes immediately after they crash: Cassandra would have caught it.

She groans again and tosses her comforter over her head. “What time is it? My alarm hasn’t gone off.”

“I caught it as it went off, bitch,” Ellinor grumbles. The sound of her picking up the oreos and tossing them to the table. She cares. I shouldn’t be so mean. She cares.

“Oh. Hm.”

“Seriously, are you alright? You haven’t dropped off the radar with me since that time you shaved half your eyebrows off at the Homecoming after party, remember?”

Oh, Jesus. How could she forget. “Mm. I’m fine. I’ve just been swamped with homework.”

“You? Olivia Sinclair, swamped by homework?” Ellinor’s voice veers farther away, towards the door. “Shit, the rapture must be upon us.”

“Give me a break, please. What are you doing up so early anyway? You don’t have class until…” that was a silly question. There could only be one reason she would be up and about like this. A week ago, it would have been the promise of coffee by Olivia. Now, it’s the promise of someone else’s coffee. Blond roast. Bleh.

“...Uh,” Ellinor chuckles nervously, “Nothing. I’m just hanging out. If you’d rather be left alone, I can go back to--”

“Don’t lay an egg, Ellinor.” Olivia gripes, stretching her toes. “You can say you’re up for him. I’m not a widow. Have fun, whatever it is you heteros do at the crack of dawn besides milking cows and...I don’t know, watching TLC or something.”

Silence. Ellinor sighs, and opens the door. “Okay, Olivia.” Dammit, she feels bad. Ellinor shouldn’t be feeling bad. She deserves to be happy, and she deserves a best friend who would support her being happy. Olivia flips over to lay face down and continue loathing herself. Every bone in her body wants to snarl and hide from everything good and cheery. Soon, Cassandra won’t be the only one steering clear of her, if she keeps this up.

Just outside her shut door, she hears a deeper voice. A deeper, calmer voice. Then Ellinor’s more opinionated tone. She says something bossy -- sounding like ‘I’m gonna kill your roommate for this, I hope you know.’ A sigh immediately responds. Typical. Cullen better have prepared himself to be with a woman who didn’t pull any punches, who could fight her own fights...and sometimes, fights that belong to her friends who have grown too tired of it all.

All she can do is wonder what it’ll take to feel okay again. It is one thing to say you’re hard to love, and make people miserable. It’s another to have someone confirm it so unapologetically.

Wednesday is as repetitive in the first half as Monday was: the same lectures, and then eventually a couple hours in the TA office waiting for nothing and no one to show up for assistance while she grades Blackboard responses to the week’s study question.

She’s in the thick of it when an email notification pops up on her laptop. Her women’s history 305 Professor, saying they’re switching texts for next week’s discussions. They’re going to study Heloise, a 11th century French nun and scholar. Great, fantastic, except none of their texts are about her. The Professor kindly asks they search for the suggested reading online or in the library. Olivia would be completely okay with digging up the text online if her laptop hadn’t just been salvaged from a virus stemming for the last time she did so.

Besides, the library was a reliable source. Why not do something she’s good at, and dig?

With a half hour left in her office hours she takes the liberty to stroll down to the main campus library. The book in particular is old so it should be in the stocks. When she goes to a computer and checks the catalog, she finds one copy is still available; her class’s rush to obtain it free hasn’t nosed her out completely just yet.

The Dewey decimal number takes her to a shelf on the fourth floor, but after 20 minutes of searching she uncovers nothing. No book, no Heloise. Defeated, she stands alone in the aisle and looks around one last time. It should be here, there’s no reason it shouldn’t. It said so in the database.

Climbing down to the main floor, she takes the issue up with the work study student manning the checkout desk.

“I’m sorry,” she says after looking it up on her own computer, “it’s been incorrectly logged. It happens.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“We have a couple satellite locations in town where our reserves are loaned long-term; sometimes their books are kept under our organized log when it’s with them.”

“So...so it is here. In town, right?”

“Oh, yeah, it should be. It’s just at one of our outsourced places.”

She asks if she can check them out still, and to her relief, the answer is yes. The kind woman writes down the address and name of the place for her, so that she can find it for herself once and for all. Handing it to her with a nice-enough smile, she sees her off.

Olivia makes it through the metal detectors before checking the piece of paper with pencil writing.

‘203 Northeast Lillian Way.’ Why is that so familiar? Shit. No, no, no, no. She rips her phone out and starts scrolling feverishly with her thumb through the old and taboo messages between her and she-who-still-shall-not-be-named. Lo and behold, it’s the worst possible outcome: the Church library. Of course, they would demand premium on books about a French Nun. How poetic.

She stands outside the library for a few minutes and deliberates her choices. With any luck, Cassandra is elsewhere -- it’s mid-afternoon, she probably has practice, or volunteer hours, or class. She tries, but she can’t remember for sure what her Tues/Thurs routine is. It’s been that long, or it’s been that hard to have her in her life. Regardless, she needs the book, and if she can get a hold of it she can make a photocopy and give it back with no harm done. It takes her a while, but she convinces herself to make a break for it: pulling out her keys from her bag and heading straight for the blue parking lot where her trusty car is awaiting.

All the same, she can’t help but curse her luck.

The drive to the Church would make her emotional if she had any emotions left to give. Days of alternating between crying, eating junk food, denial, and good ol’-fashioned anger have jaded her. At this point, she would dare the fates that be to make her days. The point between her pulling into the parking lot, turning her car off, and walking inside is all a surreal blur. Once she would have rather walked on a chain-link fence edge barefoot than set foot in a House of God, and now it’s twice in one month’s time.

Walking down the center aisle of the hall isn’t the same without Cassandra there to burst open a door on the other side. The stained glass isn’t as colorful, and the bread bowls aren’t as interesting. Still, thankfully, she finds herself left alone like before: no one to pretend they care about her soul, or ask if she’s been saved. The whole place feels like a ghost town, actually -- an odd thing for 4:30 in the afternoon on a weekday. But who is she to judge? The Pope?

A right, then a left, then up stairs. She logs it all in her head. There’s so much more room in the hallway with just her. Too much room. Eventually, she finds the double-doors. One cocked open, with a wooden stopper wedged underneath it. She hesitates to show herself: she’s not as modest as she was when she first came around, black high-waisted shorts with tights on under, with a black short-sleeve v-neck tucked in. Heels, because, of course -- and they clank on the wood floor.

But she does go in. Brave enough, finally, after a couple breaths: and she’s vindicated for doing so. No one’s in. No school kids hiding out, no Missionary interns studying away. No Cassandra, either, skulking or pacing with a book in her hands contemplating the secrets of the universe. Fabulous, she can pull out the paper in her pocket with the decimal system number, find the damn book, and be out like a thief in the night. The mischievous fates have been thwarted, so it seems. If she ignores the sinking feeling in her stomach and feet, being back where Cassandra first surprised, she can be on with her day.

Coming towards the standalone shelves rowed together, she studies the note she made for herself. The first shelf is way too early in the alphabet, so she comes around to the middle and peeks down the first section. Nothing and no one, and still in the C’s-E’s. She needs J.

Then, the sound of paper rubbing against itself. Like a page being turned. She freezes, takes a breath, and approaches the corner of the second aisle.

God, please, no, anyone but--but it’s her.

Her shoes are hitting the ground too hard for her presence to be a secret, and she knows well enough. She stops, and a heel grades against the wood grain. Cassandra -- dressed in black leggings and a sweatshirt, over-sized, and the most casual she’s ever seen her styled -- is sitting cross-legged on the floor. Up against the stacks, with several books piled around her. One open in her hands, kept in her lap. At the noise of Olivia’s footfalls she looks up. Not expecting her, clearly, her eyes go wide and she jerks up to her feet in the blink of an eye. Agile enough to do so without stumbling all over herself, but not confident enough to stand all tall and proud. Not like she did in the gallery.

Olivia steps back, and she can feel her face sour. She crinkles the paper in her hand, and it bends beneath a fist. She doesn’t respond, only glares with steeled hopelessness.

Cassandra closes the book in her hands. “W-what are you doing here?”

“I came for a book.” Iced, and disdainful.

Her face strains a bit, and she adjusts. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” she rolls her bottom lip and holds her ground. “That is all.” It’s crushing her slowly, the priorities: yell at her, say sorry again, cry, beg. Too many needs and too many wants. She takes a page out of Cassandra’s metaphorical book and holds it all in under a guise of self-sufficient introversion.

“I...okay. D-do you need--”

“No. I know how to work a library.”

“...Alright.” She accepts it, and nods. Olivia sucks on her teeth. They both try to get on with whatever it is they were up to before they were aware of each other’s presence: Cassandra, sitting back down on the ground, and Olivia investigating the far end of the shelf. She tracks down the J’s, but there’s no book in sight. Again. First, twice, and thrice she checks the row where it should be. A couple minutes have passed, and she’s left standing there with no reward to her risk.

She lets out a sigh through puckered lips.

“What are you looking for?” Cassandra’s voice, clear and calm.

She keeps her eyes on the shelf, clinging to the paper. “I don’t need your help.”

“Um…” she treads lightly, very lightly, “some of the shelves are disorganized, because of the students.”

Fan-fucking-tastic. She’ll never find this damn book, she’ll never do her homework, she’ll just drop out and call it good.

“I’m…” she starts, but stops when Cassandra suddenly shows up next to her, having risen to her feet without so much as a sound. She takes hold of the paper that is in a death grip in Olivia’s hands, one which she releases against her better judgement.

She raises a brow. “Hm.”

“It’s--it’s a book with copies of letters from--”

“Heloise and Abelard. I know this anthology, I had it for...um, hm. You won’t find it here, though.”

Olivia slouches, and frustration escapes her. “What? Again?!”

“No,” Cassandra shakes her head, and then turns around, “it’s over here.” Without a word, she walks away, with the presumption that Olivia will come along. An audacious presumption; if she had not come all the way across town to track down the damn thing she would have laughed and said ‘fat chance.’ Beggars can’t be choosers.

They go to the back corner, where there are rows of tall volume books that look like dictionaries. The shelf above them is where Cassandra slants onto her toes and searches. Olivia does her best to keep her eyes preoccupied elsewhere -- anywhere else, but her -- and waits patiently. Finally she falls back, pulling a book out that’s rather small and thin. But it’s weirdly pink, like the catalog image.

“Here,” she breaths, pivoting back to her and holding it out.

Olivia stares at the outstretched book, brow pressing low as she bites back more bitterness on her mind. She takes it, gripping onto the opposite diagonal corner to Cassandra’s grip.

“T-Thanks.” She spits out, holding it to her stomach. “Do you know if I have to….to do anything special to check it out from here? Or do I just take it to the main library?”

“You just take it there…” Cassandra confirms, reaching across her own stomach and clasping onto her elbow.

“Okay.” Olivia keeps her eyes to the ground, and her responses curt. “Thanks again. I’ll be going now.”

“Olivia, I’m sorry.” The words cut through the air like a chef’s knife. Eager, and quick, like it’s the last word she’ll ever get in edgewise. Olivia has turned to the side by the time she hears it, and she stops cold. The book to her belly now feels like armor she can’t live without. She can’t bare to look at her, at whatever face she’s making. It’ll be too sincere, too heartfelt.

“I really don’t want to hear it.”

“I know you don’t, but you deserve to.”

“You thought I deserved to hear a great deal of things.”

“I...I know. And…”

“What?”

“And it was unfair of me. I shouldn’t have cornered you, when you were already feeling uncomfortable. It wasn’t right.”

Olivia sucks in her gut; the words she is saying are too poignant to face with a chin tucked in shame. She looks, only to feel punished for it: Cassandra is frowning, and not the way she does by default. It is a sad one. It makes Olivia’s heart skip, and plummet at the same time.

“Y-you know, Cassandra,” she replies, her voice brittle as her throat gets thicker with tears she thought she had long run out of, “I...I just wish I knew what your secret was.”

Cassandra blinks a few times, beautiful black eyelashes fluttering. “My secret?”

“Yeah. Your secret. The one behind how you always look so undaunted and...and un-phased,” she closes her eyes to hold back tears, and cradles the book in both hands against her. “You know, Cullen talks to Ellinor, and Ellinor talks to me. I hear about how you are minding your own business, going about your day, while I cry myself to sleep or eat my body weight in Taco Bell. Every time. It hurts, but I tell myself, ‘oh, she’s just coping in her own way, she has to be as messed up as I am about this, just as torn up, just as…” she takes a shallow breath, but it does little to assuage her. “‘She has to be just as inexplicably messed up as I am.’ But even when I worried you didn’t care, or that you were indifferent, never did I think you would walk into the room and rip my heart out the way you did.”

Cassandra had become more and more engrossed in a painful kind of way, the more she talked. It wasn’t hard to understand -- it was probably the most brutally candid Olivia had ever been in her presence. Bearing her most cringe-worthy sides of her survival, for reasons she could not articulate half as well.

“So…” she sharply sniffled, “I just want to know what the secret is. What you do, what you...you tell yourself, that makes you so magically put-together. Maybe it’s the same shit you take that convinces you that I’m the one tormenting you when I…” she closes her eyes again, but a stray, small tear runs down the outside corner of her eye. That is enough for her. “You know, whatever. I’m...I’m not gonna…” she started to walk back, verbally and physically, expecting nothing else but her own shame.

A few steps, and then, the second twist of the knife.

“Liv, please.” Once again, she asks, and once again, Olivia stops. This time, her back is to her.

“I…” Cassandra takes a moment, collecting her breath by the sounds of it. “Cullen knows me, but he doesn’t know...me. He sees me coming and going, but he doesn’t know what happens while I’m getting by. If he did, he’d tell Ellinor--or, probably you, more like--that from the moment you first spoke to me I haven’t been able to get your voice out of my head. I’ve never been good with sentimentality, much as I appreciate it. But when I’m...when I’m around you it feels like I don’t have to worry. If anything’s been a secret, it’s been that.”

The sensation of hugging her in this room is still fresh. The way her arms wrapped around her waist, the way her breath felt against her neck. The briefness of it, and wishing it could last. But nothing lasts. Head high as much as she could pretend, she swallows stiff and keeps her eyes on the door for just a beat longer. Then, she faces her again. And Cassandra, she...her red eyes, her slightly red, tired eyes. It’s horrible.

“If you were so crazy about me, then why didn’t you kiss me? I was all yours, I was--”

“Because I didn’t want it to be like that.”

“...You…”

Cassandra sighs tersely, rubbing the side of her face. Exasperated. “I didn’t want the first time I ever kissed you to be during a fight about you being slut-shamed and me invading your privacy, alright? Is that...is that so much to ask? That if I was going to...to let myself be with a woman, a woman like you, that that kind of thing would be a little more special?!”

“I would have agreed, if you would have just talked to me! About anything!” Olivia shifted, now head-on with her. “You said you knew what you wanted, Cassandra, but that’s just it. You knew. I may have had my hopes and...and you may have been right about me having more of a clue than I admitted, but a clue is not consent. It isn’t a consensus. When you rejected me, I felt like an ass! Like I had taken advantage of you in some way.”

“Something you would have known wasn’t the case if you would have just stayed and listened to me! I was trying to tell you!”

“Trying?!”

“Yes! Or have you forgotten how hard it was to say out loud to the first girl you ever liked that you had feelings for her, and you were terrified she’d walk out?!”

“I did--!” She begins to hiss back, but stops. Forgiveness was an easier visitor when it came to certain suffering. She couldn’t swing the gavel when it came to that: it was like breaking ten different rules of queer code. Ugh, dammit. “Intimidated or not, we’re adults. This isn’t a recess, or homeroom, it’s...it’s life. I don’t get it, you’re always so...just...mature, with everything else but this.”

Cassandra half-nodded, and folded her arms. “The heart of man is a labyrinth, whose windings are very difficult to be discovered.”

Olivia delayed her retort, a bit off-guard. “...Um...yeah, that is...one way of putting it.”

Cassandra’s sweetly sore, peering down at the ground. “It’s an excerpt, from one of Heloise’s letters to Abelard. It’s...it’s after one where he implores her to revoke their union for the sake of God, but she refuses.”

Who even is this woman? Some thesaurus of mankind’s broken desires, reincarnated into one toned, statuesque, androgynous body? Is she even real?

“Yeah, well...Abelard was an elitist asshole who wasn’t worth it. And you’re still pompous, I take it.”

She smirks again, but not as sadly, as her eyes meet hers again. “Maybe so, on both counts. However, he still encouraged her in her work, and her learning.”

“Yes, as a means to punish her for behavior he deemed carnal even though he was a complicit beneficiary of if, not to mention--”

“Behavior he was punished for as well, rather grotesquely, if I can recall.”

Olivia’s hold on the book loosens, and she looks down at it, before back at her. “He...yeah. I mean, it was just a little...castration. It be like that sometimes.” They stare once again, and she clamps down on her tongue. They’re both fighting back something, some kind of expression, though Olivia denies the hope that Cassandra wishes to smile as she does. That is, until they both cough up a chuckle. The first in a long time; she can hardly remember the last occasion. That hurts.

After a moment, she gathers her wits. She slides the book into her shoulder back, and gets back to the unsavory topic.

“We’ve made a mess, haven’t we.” She can’t help but smile. Cassandra could run her heart through the mud and gravel, and then say something clever, and that’d be all it takes. She’d smile.

“I’m afraid so. They must think we’re devising to kill each other,” Cassandra says, coming forward. There’s no need of explanation as to who she’s referring to. In a flash, images of a very worried Ellinor and slightly scared Cullen come to mind.

“You would deserve it.”

A wry smirk. “Oh, would I?”

“Yes, you were a dick.”

“And you were an insensitive snob.”

Olivia chokes back another laugh. “Compared to the company you keep, Cassandra, I’m a down-home piece of apple pie.”

Cassandra scoffs. “Leliana? Ugh, God,” she grins, “she only pulls that act when she’s trying to pull something. She was being an ass, but, she was just...trying to protect me. I’m sure she’ll appear out of nowhere and explain herself, so, be prepared.”

“Oh, wonderful, I crave her company,” she mocks, eyes rolling gently as she looks back towards the door. “Why doesn’t she just show up now? I’m eager for more mortifying company.”

“She knew I wanted to be left alone. She does listen, you know.”

“...Oh. Well, damn.” That was a nice thing. Boundaries, huh, who knew. She can sympathize -- Olivia also has a friend who left her alone after one too many acidic quips. Oh, Ellinor. Though she wants to, she can’t crucify the woman for wanting to put up a fight for her friend. “Look, I know it makes me an asshole every time, but, I really should be going this time around. I have things to do tonight, and I really just needed to get this….this book.” She says it, but she hates it.

She hates it even more when Cassandra frowns, and blinks her eyes away. “I understand, no, it’s alright. You can’t just stay in every room I find you in.”

“No, I can’t, hah.” But I wish I could.

“Hey, Olivia?” she says one last time. Her full name. It’s nice, without all the malice.

“Yeah?”

Her eyes brighten a little. Bravery. “I...I hope that you’ll be happy. Whatever that means for you. You deserve it.”

It’s a stab to the side, clean and direct through her ribs and into her gut. Her voice saying ‘I think you knew what I wanted,’ rings loud and clear in her mind again. Wanted. Not want, wanted. And now this. Oh no, Cassandra, please, please don’t tell me you’ve really let go.

“...Thank you, Cassandra. I...I wish the same for you.” I wish it, and I wish it’d happen with me. Be with me. Ask me to stay. This time I’ll stay, I promise. Just ask it.

“Thanks. Um, drive safe, okay?” More of those polite, detached manners. Again. No, no, no.

“Yeah, um,” Olivia swallows, “I will. See you around, maybe?”

“Yeah. I think so.” A smile. She’s smiling. Oh God, she really has accepted it. That they aren’t meant for each other. Like Heloise and Abelard: Olivia as Heloise, ranting and raving in her letters about having been consumed by amorous affection. And then there’s Abelard, pointing her away towards higher callings, wishing her the best. Fuck Abelard, and fuck this.

Olivia tries her hardest to hide it, and she manages a wide grin and wave before leaving. She makes it out the hallway, down the side aisle of the Church pews, out the door, and into her car.

Slamming the car door behind her, she sinks into her compact leather seat and bangs her head against the headrest. Cassandra is letting her go. She did at the gallery, technically, but now it hurts in a different way. A way she feels no enraged pride in, no vanity. No need for spiteful indifference. She wants to take it all back, this time.

The one thing she couldn’t say, and perhaps will always regret, is that Cassandra was right. She is right. And now, she’s giving Olivia what she wants, what she clamors for, all the time. She’s giving it rather than trying to change her. So this is what respect feels like from someone who wants to love you.

The book stays in her lap as she drives home. When she stops at every red light, she clutches where Cassandra held it. If it were all a movie, this would be where she’d drive off into the sunset after her coming-of-age tale, leaving the reckless love behind. But she wants to do anything but that.

How long will it be until she finally stops? The answer is now.

She brakes hard and pulls into a street parking spot -- one of the luckiest moments of her life. Digging in her bag on the passenger’s seat, she finds her phone. Thumbing and thumbing, until she finds her name and the message thread she could never make herself delete.

--You know what’d make me happy? Because I have a couple ideas on the subject. The first is Friday night, at 11. Stay awake, or miss out.

#college au update #adventures of ellinor and olivia #modern!Olivia #ellinor trevelyan #day & age #WOOO AN UPDATE

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shakilali-goldsmiths-blog · 5 years

Text

Blog from Word (3rd June - 20th September 2019)

See below the blog I started on Microsoft word. This was due to me starting the blog and my project, before module data was released (i.e. information that we needed to record everything on tumblr).

3rd – 7th June 2019

This was the first week after exams finished. We were given the computing project presentation, along with previous project examples. This gave me an insight into what the third year consisted of. In addition, I was able to mentally start planning out my actions over the summer, which would aid me before I started my final year.

10th – 14th June 2019

Post the computing project introduction, I began my summer placement. To get a sense of the variety of project ideas, I asked multiple colleagues about their projects. The colleagues ranged in positions, from Software Developers to Database Administrators. The ideas were vast, for example: online vehicle registration, cinema ticket booking and educational software tools.

17th – 21st June 2019

In my spare time, I began exploring the internet for previous computer science projects. Sites I used include: https://1000projects.org/projects/cse-projects and https://www.youtube.com/. When deciding which areas, I wanted to build my project on, I noticed I was gravitating towards ideas which encompassed my strengths and past modules. For instance, I studied ‘Algorithms and Data Structures’, and a project that interested me was a quiz application which tested fundamental mathematical knowledge and formulas.

24th – 28th June 2019

Towards the end of June, I began listing down a few project ideas which I would like to investigate further. The list did not contain anything concrete; it was quite diverse. This was so I could get a rough idea on where I could possibly delve deeper.

1st – 5th July 2019

At this stage, I had quite a lengthy list of Computer Science related final year projects. They were in no particular order. This list was primarily put in place so I could begin marking off which types of projects I wanted to do and vice versa. I further assisted myself by placing this data in a spreadsheet and labelling how confident I felt about a certain project (Green = Confident, Yellow = Unsure, Red = Not Confident).

8th – 12th July 2019

During this week I filtered my spreadsheet, so I could see all the ‘green’ and ‘yellow’ projects. For the yellow project’s, I made a new column which contained actions I would have to take in order to prepare for that project e.g. learn AngularJS. As for the green project’s, I felt as though I had the necessary skills to carry out a project successfully.

15th – 19th July 2019

I used this week to look through my yellow project list and retain those which had reasonable steps for a successful project. At this point, there were still many projects in my green list. Therefore, I settled this by taking the top 10 projects I may want to do. These 10 were determined by colour (i.e. green or yellow), how confident I was in completing a successful project with them and how interesting they were to me.

22nd – 26th July 2019

Towards the end of the July, I began planning for my ideation. I wanted to test out my newly acquired LaTex (Document Preparation System) knowledge, therefore I installed Texmaker (cross-platform open-source LaTeX editor) and started a new document. I made an ideation template using the information on the VLE and planned to commence work on it the following week.

29th – 2nd July/August 2019

As aforementioned, I generated a spreadsheet which enclosed project’s and their status in accordance to my skill set and interests. This spreadsheet facilitated my ideation, as I was able to select my contexts, techniques and initial ideas from it. This week was spent filling in my ideation template.

5th – 9th August 2019

I wanted to use this week to begin one of my selected projects. This was so I could put my skills into use and consolidate them. At this stage, I was still carrying out my summer placement at Servelec. At Servelec, one of the many software products we provided was a digital case management software, Mosaic. This was primarily used in the social care sector. I decided, after much research, I would try to build my own web-based, digital case management system.

12th – 16th August 2019

Research went into how I would go about building my project. This was primarily based off YouTube tutorials. The outcome I came to was building it locally, using Python (OOP language). More specifically, Django, a python web-framework. As I did not previously code in Django, I felt the need to start an introductory course on Udemy.

19th – 23rd August 2019

During this week, I completed the Django introductory Udemy course. This enabled me to grasp elementary Django expertise. As previously mentioned, I did this course so I could begin development on my digital case management web application. This was the tutorial playlist I followed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-FTlQ7Djqc. Although, it was for a blog, it was the initial steppingstone for my end goal.

26th – 30th August 2019

My project began taking shape. I had created my first app (many app’s were used to make up the overall web application – part of SoC). Although the web application was quite dull, functionally and visually, I completed the base code, which in turn serves as the fundamental component for the entire application.

2nd – 6th September 2019

This week I completed and submitted my ideation. It contained my contexts, techniques, inspirations and initial ideas. In addition, I finished another app: articles. My web application now displayed articles written through Django’s in-built administration url. I also learnt more in depth about Django concepts such as Models, Templates and Migrations.

9th – 13th September 2019

The Django tutorials are almost coming to an end. I finished implementing the last mini app: accounts. This app took care of individual accounts (including super users and normal users). In addition, it now meant articles were linked to their authors. Throughout the process of the tutorial, I was adding in my own additions. For example, my naming conventions were specific to case management.

16th – 20th September 2019

My Django playlist had now ended. Final videos included demonstrations on how to style the web application, and make it more aesthetically pleasing. In order to adhere to SoC (Separation of Concerns) principles, my CSS (Style.css) went in a different folder (assets) to the mini apps. Classes were assigned to various html elements, and these were corresponding to code given to them in Styles.css. I made my own changes to the CSS by integrating in bootstrap.

#sonar #computingproject #goldsmiths #june #july #august #september #2019 #digitalcasemanagement

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