#take notes from matty and taylor

[mafaldaknows]

I know for SURE the timothee/kylie relationship is real, not PR

Hello, Anon:

Then why not REALLY own it, like these two?

X

Taylor Swift and Matty Healy are also a newly-minted controversial superstar couple but the difference is that they’re both loud and proud about it and actively participating in their new romance together without the need for juvenile guessing games and cloak-and-dagger subterfuge to maintain their very public “privacy”.

If you know for SURE that it’s real, then maybe you can tell me why it seems so one-sided? Like he’s embarrassed to be seen with her in public?

They relinquished their need for privacy when they chose to announce their romance in the trash tabloid press, so they can’t hide behind that excuse now. They really should’ve kept it completely private or announced it in a way that erases all doubt that they’re a real couple.

Someone is trying SO hard to make people believe the unbelievable in a really unbelievable way, when it would be so easy to just to prove it with actual evidence of them being at least within shouting distance of each other in the same location in a clear photo that shows them both looking happy to be seen in each other’s presence.

Either their PR teams are completely inept, or something’s not quite right about this romance.

In any case, it looks every bit like a PR stunt, which would be sad if it turns out that it’s real. Because only one of them seems to want to be involved.

Thanks for your comment. 🤔🫤🤷🏻‍♀️

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗚𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗪𝗛𝗢'𝗦 𝗪𝗛𝗢

　　　　　　　　𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Where Y/N participates in the new Sturniolo Triplets tiktok, but doesn't actually appear in it.

WARNING: None.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Y/N closed the door to her shared room with Chris, heading up the stairs as she hummed a Taylor Swift song under her breath, her eyes focused on the screen of the phone in her hands, where Twitter was open and she was reading the new Grammy's gossip.

The first thing the girl noticed when she arrived in the kitchen was the triplets all together, their backs to her and looking at the counter while laughing.

"What are you guys doing?" She asked, putting down her phone while locking the screen, putting it in her pocket, and focusing her attention on the three brothers.

Chris turned around quickly, having been startled by the sudden appearance of his girlfriend, placing his right hand on his own chest while calming his breathing.

"Hi Y/N!" Matt smiled, waving his left hand in a quick wave.

"Hi Matty." She replied with a soft smile, moving closer to the three and looking at the counter, her eyebrows furrowing when she saw several of the triplets' things scattered around the space. "What are you doing?" Y/N asked again, leaning her right shoulder against Chris's chest as she felt his left arm surround her, bringing her close.

"It's for a tiktok, it's a little game where the fans will have to guess what belongs to who." Nick explained, holding his phone with both hands in the air, the rear camera facing the table, ready to take a picture of the first items.

"But there are things of mine in there." Y/N commented, seeing some of her beauty items among the others.

"Yes, that's because Chris carries your stuff everywhere." Matt said with a shrug. "That part of the products are things that we carry in our backpack or in our pants pocket."

A sound of understanding left the girl's mouth as she snuggled closer against Chris, watching Nick take pictures of all the items separately.

It was true that Chris took a lot of her things with him, even if Y/N already stated that he didn't need to do it, it was the boy's habit since it had previously occurred to her that she needed something and felt frustrated for not having it with her at the moment. With that, Chris made it his little mission to always buy two of the girl's essential items and carry one of each with him too, either in his backpack or, depending on the size, in the pocket of his sweatpants or jeans.

Furthermore, Y/N's have also an habit to stick stickers on everything she owned (toiletry and make-up bag, purse, phone or tablet case, etc.), and after her relationship with Chris became something more serious and intimate over a year ago, the girl started sticking stickers on his things too.

It was something that amused her and that the boy loved, he said that when they weren't together, he just needed to look at his wallet or his laptop and he would see a little piece of her with him.

Y/N smiled warmly when she saw each of these things in each picture that was taken:

The first one with the laptops, in the middle of all the colorful stickers there was a teddy bear with a pink bow around its neck;

In the second, the wallets one, Chris's was decorated by the Prada brand and by an small sticker of a striped heart on the upper left;

In the third one, with the jewelry was a hair tie in the color of Y/N's hair;

In the fourth, the backpacks one, Chris's also had a pearlescent keychain hanging with a baby pink tube of hand sanitizer;

In the sixth one with the headphones, Chris's only had one little letter in pink, the initial of Y/N's name;

In the seventh, the care products one, in the middle of Chris's products was a lip gloss from Rhode and a small tube of hand cream from Sol de Janeiro.

Of course, if the girl were to look for her everyday bag right now, she would have a million of Chris's things too, since he was a guy who liked self-care. It was something personal for them, a way of taking care of each other and always carrying a little piece of their lover.

Chris lowered his head slightly, sniffing the scent of fresh shampoo from Y/N's hair before sealing his lips over the top of her head for a few seconds, hiding his smile as he noticed all the little parts of his girl among his things.

The boy shook his head slightly, the comments on that tiktok would go crazy, and he was all for it.

"Now, who's hungry?" The girl asked after Nick took the last picture, smiling when she heard the oldest shout that he was and Matt smiled, nodding his head while saying that he was too.

"Can you make mac and cheese in that way that I really like? Pretty please?" Chris asked, turning her so she was facing him and smiling big.

She nodded while laughing lowly, rising on her tiptoes and kissing Chris's lips quickly before walking over to the fridge, grabbing all the items to make the dinner requested.

A smile spread across her face when she turned around again and saw the triplets glued to each other, smiling as they looked at Nick's phone screen, probably reviewing the pictures he took.

She shook her head in amusement, placing the items in the sink before fishing her phone out of her pocket and taking a quick picture of the three, making a mental note to send it to Nick later, already knowing that it would probably be in the next photo dump.

　　　　　༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

extra - comments:

"the fact that the tiktok was about guessing what belongs to who but it was obvious what was Chris's because of the little Y/N things he has in the middle of his own 😭"

"THIS IS SO CUTE OMG"

"the hair tie 😫"

"you know Y/N has good taste when she uses SOL DE JANEIRO hand cream"

"Y/N the biggest clean girl on this site"

"the teddy bear sticker 🥺"

"I'm sure there must be a picture of Y/N inside Chris's wallet"

~ "petition for Chris to make that trend "picture in my wallet" ✏️📄"

[leona-hawthorne]

SELFISH / mattheo riddle

mattheo riddle x fem reader

summary: he dreams of you after you leave him because of his addiction

warnings: angst, addiction, drug use, swearing, mention of vomit (super brief), established relationship, mattheo and reader live together, post-war

words: 4.4k

a/n: i went to the melanie martinez concert yesterday! yay! anyways here’s a depressing fic for you <3 also i can’t lie, this was kind of inspired by that one line in chloe or sam or sophia or marcus by taylor swift (included at the end)

navigation mattheo riddle masterlist

The dim light of the kitchen amplified the feeling of darkness threatening to take over your soul as you sat perched on the counter, silk robe slipping off your shoulder. The sweet scent of fresh cookies flooded your nostrils each time you took a breath, the tray resting on top of the stove. An ice pack was pressed to the burn you’d just attained as you were taking the cookies out of the oven.

It seemed baking was one of your many ways of running from your problems instead of solving them.

Mattheo would be home soon. And unbeknownst to the poor boy, you were currently contemplating how to do it. How to leave him.

Maybe you should just leave now, before he returns. No fuss. Or maybe you could spend one more night in his loving arms and then leave a note on the fridge and quietly slip out at the first cracks of light. But that seemed cruel. You knew what you had to do. You had to tell him face to face. That’s what’s right, isn’t it?

If only it wasn’t so hard.

At heart, Mattheo Riddle was a selfish man.

He was selfish when you kissed him for the first time and he greedily pulled you back in. He was selfish the first time he saw you talking to another boy and got his knuckles bloody because you were supposed to be his only. He was selfish when you gave him your body for the first time and he ravished it from dusk to dawn. He was selfish when he continued to love you during the war, knowing his very being compromised your safety. And he was especially selfish when he didn’t flush the powder down the toilet each time after you washed him of his own fucking vomit. He was even more selfish because he didn’t want to let you go.

You were the light of his life, and as much as he wanted to tell himself that he didn’t know how he’d managed to snuff out your bright candle, that was a lie. With each action he took, with each time he ignored your teary eyes as he grabbed the bottle, there was a gust of wind blowing your once fiery spirit out. He felt as though a knife was being stabbed into his chest over and over and over again, piercing the tissue of his heart and breaking him down. He just couldn’t stop.

“Matty, please,” begging, your whispers would break apart, your voice trembling even in the quietest of tones. He’d shrink down to the floor with you, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead as your palm clamped over your mouth to silence your whimpers, his glazed eyes would look back to the drawer, unable to stop himself from walking to it.

Guilt, guilt, guilt. It was the only feeling he’d known for a long time now. Guilt, eating away at him as he stumbled home with dilated pupils, your beautiful soul straying from judgment and instead leaning his arm over your shoulder. Guilt, gnawing at his quivering fingers as they drew a new line of white, your muffled sobs leaking through the bathroom door. Guilt streaming down his cheeks in the form of tears as he held you in the aftermath, whispers of false promises that both of you knew were fake but wanted to believe anyway.

The sound of the front door creaking open shook you from your daze, furrowed brows relaxing and pulling your nails away from your teeth. You don’t move. You don’t get up to greet him. Even him walking through the door was a rocky road of memories for you. Sometimes, he’d come home with a smile and a kiss. Other times, he’d return with red eyes and arms that refused to hold onto you for help walking.

”Y/N?” His deep, tired voice called out.

”Kitchen.” You yelled, eventually hearing his footsteps approaching you. Still staring at the floor, you see his feet come into sight as he stands in front of you.

”You’re adorable, you know? Making my favorite cookies for when I get home.” He commented, giving you a lazy smile and a long kiss on the top of your head. “What happened to your finger?” He asked, concern filling his eyes as he saw the ice pack on your hand. You ignore his question.

With a shake of your head, you finally look up so your eyes meet his. “Um… Matt, baby, we need to talk.” Your voice is quiet as you contemplate which words to use. His face sours, lips curling downwards into a frown. “Okay…” He swallowed nervously.

You take a moment to really study your boyfriend’s face and lo and behold, his eyes are red. No surprise. Your expression doesn’t morph into shock or horror or concern. This is your usual now.

“What did you and Theo do today, Matt?” The question sounds innocent but Mattheo knows it is anything but.

“That’s what you wanted to talk about?” He chuckled nervously in an attempt to dodge your question.

”No, but I asked you a question.”

His head tilts down, staring at his feet embarrassedly, and after a long moment of silence, he answers. “You know.”

You huffed quietly, the sound a mixture of a bitter laugh and a scoff. “Yeah, I know… That’s actually what I wanted to talk about.”

His head snapped back up in an instant, eyes filling with fear that he desperately tried to cover up as his feet shifted around, the wooden floor creaking under him. You averted your eyes, unable to meet his fearful gaze as you just decided to be straightforward with it.

“I can’t watch this happen anymore, Mattheo.”

He stumbled back a bit, as if your words were a physical blow. “What?”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you continue. “I’m done.” You got down from the kitchen counter to walk away but his hands were already grabbing at your arms. It was like his blood had turned to gasoline, your words the match. He’d been speechless for many moments, his brain going blank as your words settled in and became the only thing occupying his mind, bouncing around the corners of his skull with a groundbreaking echo. Anger, despair, and most of all, fear. Fear that he’d finally pushed you too far, that you were finally leaving. His hands grabbed at you in a desperate attempt to ground himself, to lock you to himself. “No, please—”

“Stop, Mattheo.” You mutter, your voice breaking. His hand froze, his heart clenching in his chest as your voice hit his ears. He hated the way you said his name. There was no love or warmth in it anymore. Just a cold, sharp edge.

“We can talk about this.” He pleaded, his voice becoming low and desperate. “Please, Y/N. Just let me explain.”

“This isn’t something we can fix with a fucking conversation, Mattheo. Not anymore.”

“We can try!” He insisted, his grip on your arm becoming a little firmer. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, and he wasn’t going to let you go without trying to fix this.

“Mattheo, we have tried.” You let out a broken sob.

“I know I messed up. And— and I’ll do better. I’ll stop, I’ll do anything.” He said, the desperation seeping into his voice. “Please, Y/N, I’m begging you.”

If it weren’t for the fact that you’d heard similar words leave his mouth many times before, you may have broken and given in.

“That’s not how that works and you know it.” You utter quietly, teary eyes darting back up to his.

He swallowed, suddenly feeling a mixture of anger and hurt wash over him. “You’re not even willing to fix it.” He spat, his grip on your arm tightening.

He hated the way you spoke to him, like it was so easy for you to walk away. It tore his heart out of his chest. “You don’t get to act like you’re better than me, because you’re not. You’re just a coward, running away instead of facing this like an adult.”

With a sniffle, you bit your tongue and said, “Maybe. But I can’t take this anymore, so I don’t care.”

He flinched at your words, the pain stabbing at his heart as he realized that to you, it was that simple. A part of him wanted to say something more, to convince you to stay, but he knew he couldn't do anything to change your mind. He didn’t deserve for you to change your mind.

And so, with a frustrated, heartbroken glare into your eyes, he abruptly took a few steps back away from you, the walls he’d spent ages lowering for you closing back up, the years worth of trust and progress shattering within an instant.

“Fine. Go ahead. Run away. See if I care.”

You swallowed and walked to your guys’ shared bedroom to pack your things, hoping the walls are thick enough to muffle your sobs.

He watched you walk away, feeling like a dagger was plunging deeper and deeper into his heart with every step you took. He wanted to run after you, to hold you in his arms right then and there and sink down to the living room floor with you, but the cold reality of everything that had happened hit him, and he stayed rooted in his spot, unable to move.

Sitting against the gray wall, he couldn’t even look at you as you walked out the door with your bags clutched in your shaking hands. After you left, he sat there for what felt like hours. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think. His mind was filled with an overwhelming mix of anger, resentment, betrayal, but most of all, an excruciating amount of just simple childlike sadness. It felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest.

And hours later, still in the same dumbstruck position, in the hazy depths of his mind, he could swear he heard your pretty voice, felt your gentle fingers tracing the outline of his face as they’d done so many times before.

Finally, he decided that he needed to do something, anything to distract himself from the painful emptiness. So he did the only thing he knew how: he went to the white nightstand beside what used to be the both of yours’ bed to take out the one thing he knew would quiet his pounding head.

His fingers brushed against the bottle, and his heart leaped as he recognized the familiar feel of its cylindrical shape. He pulled it out, his eyes widening with relief as he held the bottle in his hands. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He hastily opened the bottle as he walked towards the door leaned against it.

Soon enough, a sudden lightheadedness washed over him, and he sat there for a moment, enjoying the light fuzzy feeling inside his head. It helped to erase all the terrible thoughts that were plaguing his mind, making him feel like he was floating. He reached for another pill, but as he was about to take it, a voice at the back of his head started scolding him.

“What are you doing?”

He flinched as he heard the voice in his mind, his hands still clutching the bottle. He looked around, even though it was clear that the voice wasn’t coming from anywhere in his room. He tried to ignore it, shaking his head and popping another pill into his mouth.

But the voice didn’t go away. It grew louder, demanding he listen to it.

“Stop!”

He began to recognize the voice as yours.

He let out a frustrated groan, rolling his eyes at the voice. “Please shut up, I need this right now!”

But the voice kept echoing through his head. “But Mattheo, you’re hurting yourself. You’re hurting me. Don’t do this to us.”

Jesus, had he really gone so crazy to the point that he started hearing voices and talking to himself in an empty room?

Reluctantly, he laid the bottle back down beside him.

“Good job, pretty baby. Go drink some water.” Your voice murmured in the back of his head.

He felt a pang in his heart at the way you spoke to him. He missed having your hand gently soothing his cheek, your soft kisses planted on his skin. He missed you, even though he was trying his best not to, to just be mad. Hearing your voice in his head, so soft and gentle, was making him crave you even more.

He sniffled loudly, blinking away his tears before they could fall. He couldn’t help but obey.

Without wasting another second, he stood up and huddled off to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. As the cold liquid flowed down his throat, he couldn’t help but feel like you were there with him. He could almost imagine you standing beside him, softly stroking his hair like you had done countless times before.

Sauntering back to the bedroom with his eyes glazed over, he laid back down in the bed, pulling the quilt over his body. The fact that it was riddled with your scent didn’t help to soothe his aching chest. A tired, defeated sigh escaped his lips as he sunk into the soft mattress. His body felt heavy and fatigue washed over him, making it increasingly hard to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t help but wish it was you beside him instead of your pillow, your body pressed against his like it usually was every night.

Just as he was about to close his eyes, the voice spoke up again. “Go to sleep, my love. I’ll watch over you.”

His eyes snapped open and he sat up a bit straighter, his heart racing. God, you’re not really here, are you? You can’t be.

He shook his head, trying to convince himself that it was just his mind playing tricks on him. But the voice continued, growing even more fond.

“Relax, darling. Don’t overthink it. Just rest and I’ll see you in your dreams.”

Your voice in his head was so gentle, a soothing balm over the wound in his heart. He hesitated for a few moments before laying back down. He let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift off into a deep sleep.

But before he lost himself to the dream world, he could have sworn that he felt a gentle pair of lips grazing over his face.

In his dream, he found himself in a beautiful garden, surrounded by bright, colorful flowers. The air was filled with the sweet, fruity scents, and the warm sunlight danced on his skin softly. He stood there, taking a moment to drink in the beauty of his surroundings, before seeing a familiar figure in the distance.

You were walking towards him, dressed in a simple sundress. Your hair gently moved with the wind, and your eyes shimmered under the sunlight, resembling a star in the night sky. You were gorgeous, more beautiful than any flower in the garden.

He couldn’t help but smile as you approached him. He reached out for you, wanting to touch you and see if you were real. But as soon as his fingers brushed against your skin, you vanished, leaving him standing alone in the garden, all silent except for the sound of the gentle breeze.

His heart sank with confusion and disappointment as he realized he was alone again. He let out a frustrated scoff, kicking the grass as he began to look around the garden for you. Finally, he spotted you again, standing under an elegant archway.

He quickly closed the distance between the two of you, his hands reaching up to cup your face. He was relieved that he could touch you again. He softly caressed your cheeks, staring into your eyes with admiration. “I missed you so much,” he whispered, his voice filled with longing.

But before he could say anything else, you vanished once again. He gritted his teeth, frustration bubbling within him as he yelled out your name. He began desperately running around the garden, searching every corner until he spotted you sitting under a cherry blossom tree.

His heart leaped in his chest as he ran towards you, but as soon as he reached the tree, you disappeared once more. He felt his frustration reach its peak and he let out a groan of annoyance, his fists clenching as he yelled angrily.

“Stop disappearing on me! Let me hold you, damn it!”

Just as he was about to give up hope, he suddenly noticed you standing behind him. You were smiling, a kind and loving smile gracing your lips as you said, “Catch me if you can, pretty boy.”

His eyes widened as soon as he heard your voice. He slowly turned around to face you, his heart thumping rapidly as he realized you had really appeared. He reached out to grab you, but just as he was about to wrap his arms around your waist, you suddenly sprinted off, your laughter filling the air.

Despite the initial shock, he broke out into a huge, boyish grin. Without hesitation, he began chasing after you. He was laughing, feeling more alive than he had in weeks. As time flew by, the two of you ran through the flower garden, chasing each other like little children.

Finally, after a long chase, he managed to catch you. He pulled you close, wrapping his strong arms tightly around your body. He let out a satisfied laugh, his eyes filled with warmth and affection as he whispered, “Got you now.”

His heart swelled with happiness as you wrapped your arms around him too, your body pressed securely against his. He buried his face into your hair and breathed in your scent, feeling overwhelmed with contentment.

He let out a gentle sigh before pulling away just enough so he could look down at your face. He placed a soft kiss on your forehead before murmuring, “I love you, darling.”

You pulled away slightly to look into his eyes, mirroring his look of contentment. “I love you too, beautiful boy,” you whispered as you gently caressed his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch, relishing the feeling of your fingertips against his skin.

But when he opened his eyes, he was met with the image of your figure fading away, a startled gasp escaping him. “No! Come back!” He called out, but you were gone. He frantically looked around the garden, only to find that he was alone once more. He felt your absence like a physical ache, and a sense of longing washed over him.

He stood there, his heart feeling heavy and lonely as he whispered your name, hoping for you to come back. But there was no sign of you, no response to his calls. He sank down onto the grass, feeling lost and desperate. The sun continued to shine, almost as if mocking him and his misery.

He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to regain a sense of comfort, but it wasn't the same. He missed you, longed for your presence. He couldn't bear being alone anymore. The garden around him, which had been so beautiful and filled with life, now seemed empty and boring without you.

He closed his eyes as he lay flat on the ground. Suddenly he felt a kiss on his cheek. His eyes snapped open to see you standing above him with a teasing smile.

A mix of disbelief and happiness washed over him as he saw you standing there, a playful smile gracing your lips. He sat up straight, looking up at you with a mixture of relief and confusion. “You’re back,” he whispered, as if he couldn’t quite believe it.

“What do you mean? I never went anywhere?…” Your voice echoes through the garden as you tilt your head in confusion, looking down at him.

He furrowed his brows, a bit confused by your answer. He looked around at the garden, which was now eerily quiet, then back at you. “But you disappeared. I was chasing you and you vanished.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ve been here the whole time.” You giggled, toying with the straps of your dress.

The confusion in his eyes only deepened as he listened to your words. He was starting to feel a bit disoriented, like he was stuck in a twisted dream. “No, you weren’t,” he insisted. “I lost sight of you for a moment, and then I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

“Oh, beautiful boy. Are you seeing things again?” Your gentle voice echoed throughout the open field.

As he heard the echo of your voice, he felt a pang in his chest. There was something amiss, something that didn’t feel right. “I don’t understand… Are you really here, or is this just my imagination?” he asked, his voice filled with a hint of desperation.

“I’m whatever you want me to be,” You murmured, looking out at the swaying flowers with an innocent smile.

Frustration started to bubble up in him as he heard your ambiguous answer. “That’s not an answer. I need to know if you’re really here or if you’re just a figment of my imagination.” He stood up from the ground and stepped closer to you, his eyes fixed on your face, searching for any signs of truth in your expressions.

Your innocent smile morphed into a playful smirk, angling your head up to look at him. “Catch me,” You say before running again.

He watched you run away, a mix of frustration and determination now etched on his face. He let out a huff and began chasing after you once more. He was tired of feeling powerless and confused, and he was determined to catch you this time.

As he ran through the garden, the flowers of different colors and shapes passed him in a colorful blur. He pushed himself harder, ignoring the occasional thorns and leaves that clawed at his skin. His focus was solely on you, his eyes locked onto your figure as you darted through the garden.

He tried to strategize as he ran, trying to anticipate your next move. You were nimble and elusive, like a butterfly fluttering just out of reach. But he refused to give up. He zigzagged through the garden, trying to cut you off. He was getting closer, he was sure of it.

Finally, he saw an opportunity to cut you off as you headed towards a narrow path between two rows of tall bushes. He pushed himself to sprint even faster and managed to get in front of you, blocking your escape route.

He stood there in front of you, panting heavily from the chase. His chest was heaving, his eyes locked onto yours. “Caught you, darling,” he said breathlessly, a hint of triumph in his voice.

“Come back to me, Mattheo,” You whispered.

The sound of your voice was like a bandage to his tired soul. He stepped closer, closing the gap between them. He reached out and gently took your hands in his, his fingers intertwined with yours. "I'm right here, darling," he whispered back.

“No… You’re not. This isn’t real.”

He furrowed his brows, confusion and a tinge of hurt evident on his face. "What do you mean? Of course, this is real. We're here together, talking, touching. How can it not be real?”

He looked down at your intertwined fingers and lightly brushed his thumb over your knuckles, as if trying to convince himself of your tangible existence. "I can feel you," he murmured. "I can feel your skin against mine. How can that be unreal?"

He lifted one of your hands to his chest, placing it over his heart. It was hammering against his ribcage, his pulse strong and steady. "Can you feel that?" he asked quietly. "Can you feel my heartbeat? That's real. I'm real."

“No, you’re not, sweet boy,” You whisper, your body slowly fading away.

His eyes widened in alarm as he watched your form start to disappear once again. "No, no, no, no, you can't leave me!" He clutched at your hand tightly, unwilling to let you go. "No, you must be real. You have to be!" Panic and despair welled up inside him as he saw your body fading. He gripped tighter onto your hand, desperately trying to keep you with him. "Please, don't disappear," he pleaded, his voice trembling. "I need you. Don't leave me alone again."

“Wake up,” is the last thing you whisper before disappearing from his grasp.

His eyes snapped open, and he jolted upright in his bed. He was bathed in sweat, his heart racing and his breaths coming out in pants. He sat there for a moment, disoriented and confused. It had all felt so real, yet now he was back in his cold, empty room.

He raked a hand through his messy hair, raking his mind over the dream he had just had, searching for answers.

He couldn't shake the feeling of melancholy that had settled over him. He could still remember the way you had felt in his arms, the warmth of your touch and the sweet melody of your voice. He could still see your captivating smile and the sparkle in your eyes. But it was all just a dream.

He ran a hand over his face, feeling both physically and emotionally exhausted. He looked around at his room, which now seemed even more hollow without your presence. He let out a deep sigh, feeling more lonely and empty than ever.

It was clear he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep in the bed you once shared so he ambled back to the kitchen sleepily and grabbed one of the cookies you’d left in one hand, a bottle in the other, chugging it with no reaction to the sting.

Stumbling to the sofa and collapsing down, now with his system in overdrive, he couldn’t help but selfishly hope you’d come back and save him from falling deeper into oblivion.

But he knew you wouldn’t and most painfully of all, he knew that he deserved it.

You needed me but you needed drugs more and I couldn’t watch it happen

I changed into goddesses, villains, and fools

Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules

All to outrun my desertion of you

And you just watched it

If you wanna break my cold, cold heart, just say “I loved you the way that you were”

If you wanna tear my world apart, just say you’ve always wondered

— Taylor Swift

[sc0tters]

Flights and Fights | Matthew Tkachuk

summary: after a week of radio silence Matthew wants to show you how much he missed you.

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, oral (fem receiving), p in v, swearing.

word count: 1.94k

author note: okay so soft couple sex is officially not my thing. But this was actually sort of cute. Let’s keep Matty requests to a minimum though until he learns how to use his mouthguard 🫶

This week was rough on the both of you.

It was stupid but after the fight you two had just before his week long road trip started. Usually you two would have communicated during his time away but you were both stubborn and swore that the other was wrong. You had a business trip to Kenya coming up in July and wanted your boyfriend to come with you. But Matthew wanted to stay home and spend that week at his families lake house, when neither one of you backed down it caused the biggest fight of your three year relationship to come out with Matthew walking out of the front door and he hasn’t been home since.

You were both far too stubborn to call once during the week so you were stuck in radio silence until he got home.

The apartment was quiet was the soft sounds of Taylor Swift came from the kitchen. Matthew dropped his bags by the door as his feet took him to noise where he was met with the sight of you swaying your hips along to the music.

A total sight for sore eyes as your back continued to face him as you wore his old shirt that looked like it should have been a dress.

He leaned against the doorframe taking in the view before he made his way in smiling to himself “hey baby.” Matthew mumbled wrapping his hands around your waist.

You kept quiet as you continued to focus on your lunch that you were cooking “please acknowledge me.” He whined leaning down to kiss your neck but you stopped him as you picked your shoulder up pressing it against your neck.

It began to frustrate the boy as he furrowed his eyebrows “I’m cooking Matty.” You reminded him in an irritated tone.

You were trying to put up a strong suit and that worked until Matthew placed his hand on your chin forcing it up as you stared at him. The hockey player leaned down to kiss your lips quickly forcing you to forget about why you were still irritated with him “Matty.” This time it came out airy like a needy moan.

The hockey player didn’t waste any time bringing you onto the empty space on the kitchen counter as you now faced him “missed you baby.” Matthew mumbled as he kissed your lips again with his hand on the back of your neck.

He smiled seeing your shirt as it was his old USA camp shirt from years ago “you look so fucking pretty.” The boy blurted out as he dropped to his knees lifting the shirt up to see your bare pussy staring back at him “no panties?” Matthew smirked as your face turned red.

You nodded watching with anticipation as the boy blew his warm breath against your core “you know I don’t like sleeping with them.” Your voice was shaky as he nodded wrapping his lips around your clit “shit Matty!” You groaned locking your fingers in his hair.

If there was one thing Matthew was good at it was using his tongue to get you off “please M,” you began bringing your hips up to meet his tongue “you liking this baby?” He asked smiling as your eyes locked with his “s-so much.” You nodded trying to force your thighs shut but the boy took it as a challenge wrapping his arms around your legs as he forced you closer to him.

His tongue trailed down to your core sliding in as you cried out in pleasure “don’t stop.” The smell of your burning food didn’t seem to phase either of you as you two sat there with his main objective being to get you off.

Matthew’s noise hit your clit making you jump “is my pretty baby gonna come?” The hockey player smirked replacing his tongue with his fingers as you nodded “please Matty,” you forced his head back down.

The boy focused his attempt on your clit as his fingers formed a come here motion thrusting into you “I’m going come fuck.” You announced legs shaking as they wrapped around his head almost squeezing the life out of his head.

His free hand tapped your thigh motioning to you that he wanted you to let go. Your orgasm came thick and fast as your eyes screwed shut painting your eyelids with white stars as your body shook when Matthew didn’t let his tongue slow down on your clit “Matty no,” you shook your head trying to force his face up to meet yours.

Deciding to go easy on you Matthew listener bringing himself onto his feet “so sweet.” He groaned shoving his fingers into your mouth so that you could taste what he was talking about “see?” Matthew asked as you wrapped your lips around his fingers sucking them like it could have been his cock in your mouth instead.

The hockey player felt his pants grow tight as his cock hardened “think we should move this to the bedroom?” Matthew proposed as he slipped his fingers out of your mouth.

Before you could nod the smell of burning food invaded your nostrils “the food!” You gasped pushed the boy away as you got off of the counter quickly pushing your attention to your pan of food that was now fully burnt.

It made Matthew groan “you can’t save it now baby.” He pointed out moving the pot away from the live hob before he turned the stove off.

For some reason your lips formed a frown as you looked up to your boyfriend “but I made it for you.” You mumbled breaking his heart in the process “we can make something new?” He proposed before he realised that you had made his favourite dish for lunch “c’mere.” Matthews voice was soft as he wrapped his arms around you pulling you into a hug.

You looked up to see his face full of concern as you smiled “I love you,” you blurted out leaning up to peck his lips.

The action was repeated two more times before he gave you a deeper kiss “I love you too,” as your feet went flat on the ground you realised that his bulge was against your stomach “let’s move this to the bedroom.” You nodded watching him cock his head “you sure?” He asked thinking that your sadden state sort of ruined the vibe.

You leaned up again as you placed your hands on either side of his bed “take me to bed and fuck me like you missed me Matty.” You ordered kissing his lips.

Matthew took less than a second as he picked you up hooking his hands under your legs “fuck baby.” He groaned as you moved your lips to his neck as you began nipping at the area of skin.

The boy smiled as you looked back up at him as you formed your lips into a kissy motion as he walked you two back into your room “miss me baby?” Matthew smirked as you nodded making him listen to your request before he placed you onto the bed “I think you missed me more.” You motioned to his bulge that was now eye level with you.

He took his jacket off throwing it somewhere in the room as the boy began undoing the buttons of his white shirt “can’t blame me for that.” Matthew smiled as he hooked his fingers under your jaw “looking so pretty like that,” he added as your eyes took in the sight of his abs “you like what you see?” The boy asked as you nodded.

Your fingers ran over his belt undoing it in the process “I’m not gonna last long baby and I wanna come inside of you.” Matthew confessed as your fingers hooked into his boxers pulling both down as he kicked his shoes off with both pieces of clothing “now it’s not fair that you are still in clothes is it?” The hockey player asked leaning down in between your legs as his nose hovered over yours.

A smile formed on your lips “what are you going to do about it then?” Shivers were sent up your body as his cold fingers drove up your stomach bringing your shirt off of your head in one movement.

It didn’t take long for Matthew to bring your body further up your bed so that he could properly have his way with you “can I put it on?” You asked motioning to the condom wrapper that was in his hand.

Matthew always loved watching you do that “sure thing baby,” he nodded ripping the wrapped open as he held out the condom for you to grab.

Watching you innocently smile as you rolled the latex material over his cock was something Matthew didn’t think he would ever get tired of “fuck y/n.” The boy groaned as you brought his cock over your clit “want you Matty.” You mumbled onto his lips letting him kiss you as he let your cunt swallow his cock.

It was hot watching your mouth form an o as you adjusted to his sheer size “move please.” You ordered as he nodded pulling his hips away before he brought them back to meet yours “missed this god.” Matthew reached out to lock his fingers into yours “just me in this room baby.” Your giggle was quickly cut off as his hands brought your legs up around his waist allowing his cock to slide deeper into you.

Matthew couldn’t help but smirk “not so strong now are we?” He cooed as you picked your hips up to meet his “let make you feel so good.” It almost sounded like he was asking you as he slipped his hand between your bodies so that he could rub your clit.

The room was hot as your breaths were panting “want to be good for you.” You cried at the new level of pleasure that shot through your body.

His lips were down on your neck as you dug your head into the mattress “you always are.” Matthew mumbled making sure to suck on the skin to the point where he knew that you would be having large hickies on display within the next few days.

Sounds of skin slapping and moans bounced off of the walls of the room as you both edged closer to your highs “I’m gonna-” you cried clenching around his cock.

The boy nodded “let the whole floor know about it.” Matthew ordered as he moved his head to kiss your jaw.

Your second orgasm of the afternoon hit you harder as your whole body shuddered under Matthew’s “shit shit right there oh!” You moaned face scrunching up over the sheer pleasure that you felt as your cunt sucked the life out of his cock bringing his orgasm out “so good baby.” The hockey players words were short as he kissed you.

As you both recovered from your orgasms he smiled letting his cock slide out of your cunt “I’m gonna go get a wash cloth.” Matthew got out of bed drawing your attention to the white piece of paper that was sticking out of his suit jacket.

You let your curiosity get the best of you as you leaned down and grabbed it reading the information over as you quickly realised that it was a flight ticket “you’re coming with me?” You asked with a smile forming on your face as you looked up to see your boyfriend nod.

Matthew sat next to you as his grin matched yours “can’t let you see those elephants without me now can I?”

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Grinning Like a Devil

Matt Murdock x Reader

Words: 3539

Summary: Matt and the reader tease each other relentlessly at work. What happens when they discover that it’s more than just harmless flirting? One night of one too many drinks may prove just that. 

Notes: Some of my favorite Matt edits are to the song ‘Cruel Summer’ by Taylor Swift, and while I didn’t totally want to do another song based imagine for it (I have a different one for him in the works), I really love this cute little line for him. Plus I really need to write more fluff for him because everything is so angsty. This is, as so much of my fluff, a total mess, so I hope you guys enjoy. 

More Matt imagines: HERE

-

“And that’s three for me and… oh yeah, none for you,” you smirked, leaning on your pool stick. 

“Isn’t there some kind of rule about making fun of the blind guy?” Matt chuckled. 

“Matty, we both know you could have kicked my ass hours ago.” You shook your head and stepped towards him. “Stop toying with me and play.” 

Matt leaned towards you. 

For a second, you were afraid he could hear your heart racing in your chest, the butterflies in your stomach resuming their painful, wild dance. You faked a cocky laugh, letting him know you weren’t backing down. 

A grin formed on his lips. “Okay.” 

The next break landed three stripes. His next series of shots landed two more. You were right about one thing- he was perfectly capable of kicking your ass. The end of the game yielded only one shot for you while he swept the table. Hell, looked so bad for you, that you were half tempted to cheat and point him at the wrong ball. Somehow you felt he would know. 

Matt put up his pool stick and took yours with a smile. You tried to keep your jaw from dropping. 

He chuckled. “You asked for it.” 

You snapped out of your awestruck state and laughed. “Remind me to keep my mouth shut next time.” 

He paused and his smile shifted into a smirk. “Next time?” 

“Oh, that was just round one, Murdock. One of these days, I will beat you fair and square. Without you going easy on me.” 

He held out a hand. 

You took it. 

“Challenge accepted.” 

The touch sent a pleasant shock up your arm. His finger traced along the back of your hand as he pulled away, grazing your knuckles. Your breathing hitched and another smirk spread across his face. 

Bastard. 

“I’m going to get another drink,” he said. “Do you want anything else?” 

You cleared your throat to stop from squeaking. “Surprise me.” 

He nodded and headed back to the bar. You had to lean against the pool table to stop your knees from shaking. This was stupid. You saw Matt every day. 

But the way he smiled at you…

“Here.” Matt handed you a tall glass of a dark liquid.  

“What the hell is that?” You laughed through your grimace, holding the drink up to the light. It was clouded and hardly allowed any of the neon to shine through. 

Matt shrugged. “A surprise.” 

“You’re terrible.” 

“Oh, but you love me,” he teased. 

“Whatever.” You took a drink and immediately regretted it. The burning liquid traveled down your throat like black tar and despite how hard you tried, you couldn’t hold back the coughs. 

Matt laughed and sipped his perfectly normal beer. 

“Shut… up…” you sputtered. 

He kept laughing. It sent a surge of idiotic courage through your chest. 

You tapped the bottom of the glass against the pool table, took a deep breath, and gulped down the rest of the foul drink without breaking. You swallowed back the disgusted coughs and touched the empty glass to his chest. 

“Is that-” You winced at the taste still lingering in your mouth. “The best you’ve got, Murdock?” 

Matt chuckled and shook his head, setting the glass aside. You take a step forward on wobbly legs and stumble. His arms shot out to catch you and held you up against his chest. 

You both froze, dizzy from more than just the alcohol. 

“Maybe that’s enough for tonight,” he breathed. 

Having you this close, he didn’t need his hearing to know your heart started to race. And he knew, with your hands pressed against his chest, you could feel his too. 

“That’s probably a good idea,” you agreed, finding your footing again. 

The break of contact left a hollowness in his chest. His hand found your arm, both to steady you and to fill the space the lack of your touch had created. 

You closed your tabs and he insisted on paying, despite your protests. 

“After that toxic waste you downed, it's the least I can do,” he said. 

“Celebrating anything specific?” Josie wondered. Her eyes shifted curiously between the two of you and she gave you a smirk. 

Your face reddened. 

“We won a pretty major case today,” Matt explained with a smile. “The big bad land developers were defeated all thanks to Y/N’s investigating skills.” 

“Are you kidding?” You scoffed. “You and Foggy did all of the real work in that courtroom.” 

“Work we couldn’t have done without you.” He squeezed your hand. “Give yourself some credit. Without you, we’re just a couple of guys in suits and no case.” 

“Hey, don’t sell Foggy short,” you snorted. “He does all the real lawyering while you  stand there and look pretty.” 

A sly smirk spread across Matt’s face. “Pretty, huh?” 

“Goodnight, Josie,” you said, trying to hurry away, but Matt’s hold on your arm remained. Standing this close, his laugh vibrated through you. 

You walked out together into the chilly February evening. The brisk air bit at your bare arms, having forgotten your jacket in the office. You tried not to shiver. 

“Here,” Matt said. He slipped off his suit jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders. 

“Thanks.” 

You tried not to think about how the fabric smelled like him- like cedarwood and leather. 

Matt kept his hold on your arm, less to guide himself and more to keep you from tripping on something. The heat of his fingers on your skin radiated throughout your body. You tried to keep your breathing normal, but it was like the air was getting thin. That last drink really was a bad idea. 

By the time you reached the door of your apartment, you were sure your flesh was burning up. You desperately dug through your purse, feeling the dread build up more and more as you searched. 

“Shit,” you muttered. 

“Everything okay?” Matt asked, brows furrowed in a way that was far too adorable for you to handle at the moment. 

“I, um,” you gulped. “I can’t find my keys. I must have left them at the office. Damnit.” You smacked your hand against the door, hitting it a little harder than you meant to and wincing.

Matt took your hand in both of his, holding you steady. “Hey, it’s okay.” 

“No it isn’t. You walked me all the way here and now I can’t get in and it’s too late to try to call me landlord and-” Your intoxicated brain spiraled into all of the things you’d done wrong that evening that led you to this moment. 

Getting drunk with the man you were in love with being numero uno. 

You started to hyperventilate. 

Matt put your hand against his chest so you could feel the slow and steady rhythm of his heart as he breathed. He took a deep breath, indicating for you to do the same. 

“Sweetheart, it’s okay, just calm down,” he said softly. “Can you do that?” 

You closed your eyes, took a few breaths, and nodded. 

“Sorry,” you said, sheepishly dodging his gaze. “Sometimes drunk-brain turns into anxiety-panic-brain and I have moments like that.” 

“You don’t have to apologize,” he smiled. Matt let go of your hand but kept hold of your arm. “Why don’t we just go to my place? It’s just a few blocks away. We can pick up your keys tomorrow.” 

Your heart leaped into your throat. 

“Like… spend the night?”

Matt gave you that famous smile. “I’m flattered, Y/N, but I’m afraid you would be taking advantage of me,” he teased. 

You shoved him playfully. “Shut up.” 

-

It wasn’t like you hadn’t been to Matt’s apartment before, but this felt different. Maybe it was that horrible, horrible drink still making your brain a little fuzzy, but the neon lights of the billboard outside lit everything in a beautiful, color-changing glow. 

The two of you sat on Matt’s couch and talked for what felt like hours. About nothing, about everything, about you, about him. 

“So I go every year now to commemorate the occasion,” you said confidently

“You have an anniversary for falling off of a swan boat in Central Park?” He snickered. 

“It was a formative moment in my childhood!” 

Matt held up his hands. “Okay, fair enough.” 

“When’s the last time you just took a walk?” You asked, leaning a little closer. “You know, stopped and smelled the roses? In all the time I’ve known you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you slow down.” 

Matt swallowed and didn’t answer. You had a point. 

“You have to let yourself live, Matt. You can’t go around trying to save everyone.” You leaned closer, eyes falling to his lips. 

Matt drew in, unable to stop himself. How long had he thought about this? How long had he thought about telling you? When he thought about slowing down, he wanted to do it with you. You made him want to want to have a life. 

He pulled away. 

“I think you should probably get some sleep.”

You jerked back. 

“Right,” you said. “Thanks.”

What the hell had you been thinking? 

“I’ll sleep out here,” Matt said. He stood up and went to a cupboard in the hall. 

“Matt, you are not giving up your bed because I forgot my keys.”

“Too late, I already grabbed clean sheets.” 

“Matthew-”

“Y/N, really, it’s fine.” He said and from his tone, you knew there was no winning. Besides, you were embarrassed enough. Did you really just try to kiss him? You didn’t even feel drunk anymore, which you didn’t know if that made it better or worse. 

You hurried into Matt’s room and tried not to think about the fact that you were sleeping in his bed, under his covers, blanketing you in his scent. 

This whole night was starting to feel like a mistake. 

Matt listened to your heartbeat and felt the heat rushing to your face, kicking himself for making you feel like you’d done something wrong. He’d have to talk to you in the morning, when you were both sober, so you could have no doubt that what he wanted to say was true. 

You both went to sleep with butterflies in your stomach and thoughts of each other in your dreams. 

-

You woke up to a killer headache and the smell of coffee. You felt the sheets around you. Silk. Definitely not yours. 

The memory of the night before started to come back to you. 

Oh. God. 

You were at Matt’s apartment. 

You slept in his bed. 

You tried to kiss him. 

And he was outside the sliding door, right now. 

The floor was cool against your bare feet, your legs shaking as you tried to walk silently to the door. You slid it open just a crack. Just to see where he was. 

Matt was walking around the kitchen, most of his frame hidden by the open fridge door. 

You stepped out of his bedroom. If you could just sneak to the door…

“Morning,” he greeted cheerily, closing the fridge door and giving you a bright smile. “I made you some coffee.” Matt held up a steaming mug with a slight chuckle. “I thought you might need it.” 

You winced. “Right. Thanks.” 

Matt could feel your skin getting warmer, as well as the churning of nausea going through your head. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Super.” 

Matt grimaced. “Yeah, I felt the same when I woke up. Hence, coffee.” He took a drink from his own mug. 

There was a long, unbroken, and horrifically awkward silence between you. Why couldn’t you have one of those hangovers that obliterate any memory from the night before? Why couldn’t you get the image of him pulling away from you out of your head? Why did you have to try to kiss him? Why did you have to ruin everything?

“I should go.” 

Matt blew out a low sigh. “I’ll walk you home.” He moved to stand, but you put a hand on his arm to stop him. 

“I think I should go by myself,” you said quickly. If you stayed any longer, you would start to cry and you couldn’t do that in front of him. 

“Y/N-” Matt started. 

“Thank you for letting me stay, but I have some stuff I want to get done before we have to get to the office.” 

Matt heard your heart racing. He could hear the edge in your voice. 

He’d hurt you and he hated himself for it. He wanted the chance to fix things, but at the moment, he knew that anything he said would just make it worse. 

“I’ll see you there, then,” he said quietly. 

“Yeah, uhuh, right. Bye, Matt.” You scurried out of the door, forgetting your jacket and your purse but being far too embarrassed to go back in for them. As long as you had your keys, you would be fine. A fresh change of clothes and a cold shower. That’s what you needed. 

Once you forced yourself to get ready for work, you actually had to go to work. Which meant facing Karen- who knew all too well your crush on your boss. And worse, it meant facing Matt again. Maybe you could get away with avoiding him. 

You could not. 

When you got to the office, Matt was there, perched on the edge of your desk with your bag and jacket in hand. 

“You, uh, forgot these,” he said, giving you an awkward half-smile. 

Karen sat at her adjacent desk and raised a brow. 

You took your things and put them on the desk, feeling that all too familiar rush of blush to your face. Thank god he couldn’t see it. 

Matt nodded and walked to his office, letting his hand graze your shoulder as he went, hoping it would be a comfort, but when he heard your heartbeat rise, he realized it was probably a mistake. 

How could he show you that what happened last night, the reason he pulled away, was not what you were thinking? 

The day passed agonizingly slowly, but at least Foggy and Matt kept busy enough that you were able to avoid him for the most part. You couldn’t bear the pitying half-smile he gave you so you made sure to stay with Karen, looking over cases and organizing facts about clients. 

Matt was going mad, flipping through papers and listening to Foggy read off statements. All he could think about was the hurt in your voice and how he was the reason for it. 

“Uh, earth to Matt,” Foggy said, snapping his fingers. “You there buddy?” 

Matt swallowed and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?” 

Foggy leaned over the desk with a slow, teasing smirk. “I think I know what’s going on.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You finally made a move on Y/N. Didn’t you?” 

Now it was Matt’s turn to blush. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh come on, Matt,” Foggy exclaimed. “I saw it from the minute she wandered through our doors. You like her.” He poked Matt’s shoulder, prompting him to shrug away and stand. This, of course, was all the answer Foggy needed. “Oh my God you do like her!” 

“Foggy-”

“So what happened? Did you guys go on a date?” Foggy raised a brow. “Did you do more than go on a date?”

Matt went silent. 

Foggy’s jaw dropped. “Oh, did she reject you?” 

Matt ran a hand down his face. “That’s not what happened.”

“Don’t tell me that you rejected her.”

“That’s not what…” Matt grimaced. “It wasn’t like that.” Because of course, he liked you and of course, under different circumstances, he would have liked to do a lot more than kiss you, but he couldn’t unless he knew that it was really what you wanted and not what the liquor was telling you to want. 

“Well, whatever it was like, you better fix it,” Foggy said, walking to the door. “Because you do not want to let that one get away, my friend.” 

The rest of the day passed painfully. You were avoiding him and he was trying to figure out how to make you stop avoiding him. It didn’t help that Foggy kept giving both of you painfully obvious hints, worst of all being when he asked Karen to help him run an errand, clearing his throat loudly as he passed Matt’s door. 

You kept your head down, looking over client files and incident reports. Anything to take your mind off of the way his arm felt around your waist. His breath on your cheek. You came across a file that had a recorded statement. Shit. it must have gotten put with your things by mistake. 

You swallowed, stood, and made your way to Matt’s office. 

“I think this is probably for you,” you said softly, standing in his doorway. “I don’t usually listen to the statements.” You swallowed again, your throat feeling dry. “I just look into who you tell me to.” 

“You do more than that,” Matt said, shaking his head. Why did you always downplay your importance? Could you see how much you meant to this place? To him? “Y/N, stay for a second. Shut the door please.” He took off his glasses.

You froze under his unfocused gaze, feeling him watch you in his own way. 

“Is something wrong?” You gulped. 

Matt gave you a small smile. “You’re the one who has been avoiding me all day.” He motioned for you to sit beside him on the edge of his desk. “I think we should probably talk about last night.”

“W-what… I don’t…” You stammered, staying where you were. “I didn’t think there was anything to talk about.” 

Matt raised a brow, motioning again to the spot beside him. 

You hung your head and shuffled to stand beside him. 

“Now,” he said softly, “will you please talk to me? It’s been driving me insane all day not being around you.” 

“What do you want me to say, Matt?” You sighed. Emotion crept its way into your tone. Embarrassment. Heartbreak. “Things took a turn. We stopped. We went to bed. What else is there?” 

“What else is there?” Matt huffed, turning to fully face you. His hand reached for your arm. “Y/N, I did what I did because you were drunk. I didn’t think-”

“It’s okay, Matt.” You didn’t look at his face., at his dark eyes that managed to see you better than anyone ever had. “You don’t have to explain. You were just being kind. You let me stay because I was too drunk to open my own damn door. And I appreciate that, but please,” you grimaced at the memory of him pulling away from you. You shrugged away his hand. “Please just drop it.” 

You moved to leave.

Matt stood in your way. 

“I won’t just drop it,” he said, desperation in his tone. “Don’t you get that I can’t?” He grabbed you by the shoulders, not letting you go this time. “Y/N, I can’t stop thinking about last night. I can’t stop thinking about you.” 

You blinked. “W-What?”

This wasn’t real. This was another trick of your mind. Surely you weren’t still drunk. 

“I have wanted a night like last night since you first walked through those doors,” he admitted, listening to your heart as it started to race. He gave you a small smile, hoping to calm you down. To convince you that what he was saying was the truth. “But I had to make sure that it’s what you really wanted. Not because of some awful drink I dared you to drink or because you felt like you owed me.” 

“Matt…” You trailed off. Couldn’t he tell? Couldn’t he sense that you’d wanted the same thing ever since you first saw him? 

“I just,” he sighed, “I need you to know that.” 

You didn’t know what to say. Any words that formed on your tongue died before they could make it out of your lips. 

Matt heard your heart pounding. He heard your fingers tugging on the bottom of your shirt- a nervous tick he’d noticed your first day. He let his head fall. He’d made things worse. 

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he said softly, grabbing his cane and heading for the door. 

You didn’t think. Thinking had so far gotten you nowhere. Instead, you grabbed his arm, pulled him back around, and crashed your lips into his. 

Matt stumbled back in surprise but only for a moment. His hands found your face, cupping your cheeks gently as he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss. 

Both of you stepped, him forward and you back, his body pinning you against his desk, his arms moving around to hold you up against him. Your hands traveled up his chest and into his hair. 

This was happening. 

You pulled away, resting your forehead against his. 

“This is happening,” you gasped, unable to stop yourself. 

Matt just grinned. He gave you that ridiculous, intoxicating, devilish grin. And it melted you. 

“Do you want it to keep happening?” He asked cheekily. 

You didn’t answer and pulled him back to you.

[the-cards-she-wont-show]

TTPD Twin Storylines weaved together & double meanings throughout! ✌️👯‍♀️💕

Attention ALL Swifties (particularly Gaylors) and associates of the Tortured Poets department

PLEASE READ!! (and read with an open mind!!)🤍

Listening to the amazing TTPD on repeat this past week, I am certain that I have made an important discovery that I haven't seen talked about anywhere else yet and would like to get the coversation going, in hopes that Taylor will see that we are all finally listening to her! I'm still piecing everything together, as there is so much to unravel and am far from calling myself an expert on her exact timelines and dates, so am looking forward to hearing thoughts from others that are more knowledgable in her history.

I have been of the belief for a while now that Mastermind and Dear Reader were foretelling of her future, and also that the album title had a double meaning (evidenced by the lack of apostrophe in 'poets'). That the tortured poet would be departing. Note that I am also a believer that she has been closeted by those closest to her and is preparing to ruin her name and perceived reputation, give up the false public version of herself and come into her own true self. Everything as we know it will be destroyed and it is all playing out now, coming together as part of her plan.

Falling in line with all of the two's - the double album, the double meaning in the album name, the two sides of taylor etc, I have found that there are two intertwining stories told throughout her tracklist, AND that all songs also have a double meaning!! None of which are about the perceived muses of Travis, Matty or Joe. The 'evidence' for those relationships are all red herrings (for example 'putting narcotics into all of my songs' - but only in the songs with obvious reference to her beards), to make it seem ambiguous and open to interpretation of who the songs may be about, which is seen often throughout her discography. She uses an incredible amount of metaphors and we must look beyond those to decipher her lyrics - do not take anything at face level with Taylor. Most should realise that she is so much smarter than making obvious songs about whichever male muse she is 'dating' at the time. She has always played into that public view to cover her true self. Many songs have themes of secret and hidden love, which juxtaposes with the public 'relationships' she is seen as having.

She tells us in 'The Manuscript' that "lookin' backwards might be the only way to move forward". Therefore we must listen to TTPD in reverse, from track 31 (13 reversed!) to track 1. I believe The Manuscript also acts as a bookend for both of her stories and should be listened to as a closer after the last song of the story 'Fortnight' ends, to get a complete picture. Once we have listened to the album in reverse order, can we see so plainly that each song tells a different story of a period/situation/muse/love/heartbreak in her life - beginning at her parents meeting in The Manuscript, to current day. I think the songs may also actually have a sister song from the corresponding album/period in time, with similar sound, lyrics or theme that connects them. I believe that each song also has a double meaning and can be interpreted as messages to her fans about things that have happened to her over the years or that are about to happen, and she is trying to communicate her feelings of being trapped, which is honestly so heartbreaking. Many relate to her being caged and forced to hide her true self, in particular by one person closest to her - her father. It is devastating to listen to.

The really brilliant part I discovered next, is that The Anthology tracks also have another hidden storyline being told which intertwines and intersects in the exact right place to fit in with her life story. It includes all of the "THE" songs and is in reverse order from the parallel life story and vinyl variants order of issue (but chronological track list order).

The Tortured Poets Department

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

The Alchemy

The Black Dog

The Albatross

The Prophecy

The Bolter

The Manuscript

Rather than presenting my interpretation of the timeline and each story told in every song, I urge everyone to listen to both stories, in these exact orders, with an open mind as to what she could possibly be describing! My mind was completely blown when I figured this out!! Her mind is incredible, there is no other way to describe the album, other than a masterpiece! I feel so much for the pain she has gone through. This album explains her feelings and reasons for hiding her true self over the years for any fans that will inevitably be feeling upset and deceived. We all need to show compassion for everything Taylor has sacrificed and give her what she needs. She truly deserves love, honesty, happiness and peace. ✌️💜

I'm in the process of creating a document trying to piece all of the hidden connections together just to wrap my head around this amazing body of work, so may possibly link this when I have it completed, otherwise I will add it to this post for anyone that might be interested.

I have a couple of extra personal thoughts, theories and hopes for anyone still reading…

The manuscript of her life story may possibly be the manuscript for a future book/film.

I think one meaning of "Fortnight" is a foretelling message to the fans that havent been noticing any of her many hair pin drops - she has been trying to get the message across but they aren't listening. For the fans she loses when she comes out - she touched them with this album for only a fortnight, before she lost them. She loves the fans but staying in the closet is ruining her life. I think something big could be happening a fortnight after release? Friday 3rd May is International Sun Day. ☀️ Karlie Kloss was always 'sunshine' to Taylor. According to Karlie, their first meeting was at the 2011 Met Gala on May 2, however, there is a possibility that they could have met at the afterparty - after midnight, making the anniversary May 3! 2024 Met Gala is a few days later, could they both make an appearance? If nothing big occurs, perhaps some seeds of doubt will be planted on the 3rd? Or.. It could also be a surprise rep TV (with or without Karma and Debut - surprise triple drop?) with wlw vault tracks?! Who really knows.. I honestly have no idea, but whatever happens, I know Taylor has it all meticulously planned out and everything will happen when it is supposed to.

Taylor is chairman of the Tortured Poets department - the leader of the mass coming out we are about to see. As Chely Wright put - 'we need someone at the top' to come out and pave the way for others to do the same, and to stop the forced closeting in the celebrity world. I think Travis and the majority of her former beards are also queer and there will be many more 'tortured poets' that will join 'the department'.

Karma will be album 1 (TS12) in the 3,2,1 countdown, TS13 is 0 - the album in which she gets all of her full colour back, reclaims her glitter gel pens and finally can sing her truth proudly! She has destroyed her own name and reputation, burnt down the lover house and all her former selves.

Last of all, PLEASE BE KIND! If anyone has made it to the end of this and doesnt agree, I'd love for you to have a listen to the songs in the orders above before commenting. If not, lets just agree to disagree! We all have our own personal takes on Taylor's lyricism and I would never dream of being unkind to another just for having a difference of opinion. 🫶

For Taylor - if you somehow happen to see this - please know you are truly a mastermind, you are loved and we've got you!

🌈💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🌈

❤️ gerimegs

[lex-loudestwoman]

The Bejeweled Elevator is The Eras Tour

Simply put, the Bejeweled Elevator depicts the timeline of the Eras Tour and the remaining re-records! Let's get into it!

(Quick note: more pictures & links to come, this is just taking forever and I needed to get it posted before we're too far into the London shows! I've had this theory brewing since October 2023 and I'll be damned if y'all don't get to read it before it all comes to fruition.)

The Basement

The Basement is the period of time between folklore and evermore's surprise releases and the start of The Eras Tour. It begins with a shot of the golden "invisible" string that leads Taylor through the cardigan and willow music videos. We see Taylor scrubbing away at her step-sister's mess, dutifully fulfilling her role as the tired, tacky, exiled wench. Step-Mommy, Alana, Este, and Danielle seem to have taken Taylor in after a falling out with Prince Jack (oh, what a marvelous gift, for which Taylor should be most grateful). They delight in her position as their servant girl and assert their dominance over her, forbidding her from attending the grand ball. Taylor is being locked in the basement and forced to work for people who already live in excess. She clearly resents her step-family and Prince Jack, whose portrait depicts him with her cats, which represent her catalogue of original recordings.

Taylor has been working away on her own project while her controllers are not around, biding her time until exile ends and she can escape (fresh out the slammer, anyone?). With contempt in her eyes and vengeance in her heart, she meticulously sews beads onto the hooded cloak she wore to remain anonymous during the willow music video. A pocket watch appears out of thin air and tells her that her time in exile has finally ended, and she immediately begins her journey back to the penthouse to reclaim the land that was stolen from her.

The Elevator

Briefly, here is my concrete evidence that the Eras Tour is the Bejeweled Elevator.

The Capitol One Eras Commercial that released on the day the Eras Tour was announced depicts all the eras of Taylor gathered in a golden elevator.

The Eras Tour is full of visual transitions called an "elevator cut" where the screen splits in half vertically and slides open, just like elevator doors. I'd bet anything that our film director mastermind knows what that cut is called and that she has full creative license for everything Eras. None of it is accidental! (Twitter Thread here!) The same elevator cuts are used in several lyric videos, most significantly (imo) is Change.

The Eras Tour "takes us on a journey through 18 years of music," just as the Bejeweled Elevator takes Taylor on a journey through her musical career from basement to penthouse.

The Third Floor: Speak Now (Taylor's Version)

In the elevator, Taylor ascends to Floor 3. This represents the spring/summer 2023 U.S. Leg of the Eras Tour, during which she announced and released Speak Now (Taylor's Version). This time period was when Taylor started doing tons of pap walks again and was seen regularly in the public eye. She regained her sparkle, so to speak, and let herself shine in the spotlight. The media became supersaturated with Taylor Swift content - her scandal with Matty Healy & Ice Spice, her frequent public appearances, and the unbelievable success of the Eras Tour. On the 3rd floor, we see her depict exactly this - she struts a runway of dazzling gems, sheds her cloak, and leaves covered in brilliant jewels. You couldn't overlook Taylor Swift if you tried. This level of blossoming stardom and interest in her day-to-day life is reminiscent of the original Speak Now era.

She leaves this floor fully bedazzled, just as she left the August 9th show in Los Angeles in her sparkling purple shirt dress, glass of white wine in hand, formally entering the 1989 (Taylor's Version) Era.

The Fifth Floor: 1989 (Taylor's Version)

Next, Taylor ascends to Floor 5. This represents the Fall 2023 LatAm leg and Spring 2024 Oceania & Tokyo leg of the Eras Tour, during which she released 1989 (Taylor's Version). On the 5th floor, Taylor uses her sexuality to entertain alongside her dark haired twin, Dita Von Teese. This time period was marked by the frenzied consumption of Taylor's newest public relation(ship) strategy. Just like in the martini glasses on the 5th floor, Taylor learns how to embrace her dark side and uses her sexuality and alcohol to entertain a ravenous crowd. We met Vamplor and WAG Taylor on our TV screens as she cheered, brought record viewership, record jersey sales, and a whole new demographic of fans to the NFL. Her social and dating life was the subject of every. single. media outlet. Just as it was during the original 1989 era - every detail of her life was curated for our consumption.

The Thirteenth Floor: THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

We arrive at The Penthouse, where the Queen's Ball is being held! Taylor puts on the performance of a lifetime for the Queen, using the lessons she learned on the Third and Fifth Floor to wow the royal judges. She sparkles, dazzles, and shines; she leans into the fun of entertaining and shows everyone how talented of a performer she truly is.

This penthouse performance for the monarchy represents the European Leg of The Eras Tour and the release of THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT. The brand new TTPD set on the Eras Tour directly mimics the choreography in the music video.

Examples: The feathered fans surrounding Taylor. The two piece set in ICDIWABH. Lifted overhead. Stage & curtains background.

This leads me to make a few predictions regarding timeline and events for the rest of the tour.

The Kingdom Key and the Proposal

Needless to say, I believe the European Leg of the Eras Tour has more to surprise us with. Taylor is about to impress the Queen in London with this performance and she wins the ball! As winner, she's awarded the title of Queen, a proposal from the Prince, and most importantly to Taylor, the key to her castle.

Prince Jack is forced to propose to Housewench Taylor. This happens in front of a staged archway with tons of paparazzi snapping photos of their every move. Being awarded the key and the proposal are still part of the performance event of the 13th Floor. As soon as Taylor fulfills the requirements: perform, pose, and smile, she vanishes.

The Ghosting: reputation (Taylor's Version)

There will be no explanation. There will just be reputation.

reputation (Taylor's Version) will be announced on the last night of the London show run, accompanied by a shocking break up announcement that fuels the media's relentless speculation on her personal life.

The Castle: Taylor Swift (Taylor's Version)

Taylor stands on the balcony of her castle, surveying her land. This is the same castle that she moved into during reputation era, as depicted in LWYMMD. She's wearing TS hairclips, and has returned home. This scene represents the US Eras Tour Leg Part II, and the announcement and release of Taylor Swift (Taylor's Version). It's nearly dawn, and there is a Full Blood Moon above the castle. Interestingly enough, the October full moon is often called a Blood Moon, and the full moon this October is the day before Miami N1 (October 18th). I've been theorizing that Miami, Florida!!! is her real home for a long time, and TTPD sure did confirm that.

The Dragons: Karma

The final scene of Bejeweled is a wide shot of Taylor's Castle, where we can see three dragons setting the castle aflame. This is Karma - karma is a fire in your house. I'm not sure exactly what form Karma will manifest itself in, whether that's the missing TS6 album, a record label, exposing the industry for how abusive it is, coming out, or something else entirely. But, in the words of our mastermind, Karma is real.

[tayfabe75]

Did Taylor and Matty meet on Myspace? (And other early coincidences!)

Early on in their careers, Taylor and Matty both utilized Myspace as a way to promote their music. Taylor, specifically, would message with other teenagers on Myspace:

"I'd post my songs on my MySpace and, yes, MySpace, and would message with other teenagers like me who loved country music, but just didn't have anyone singing from their perspective."

Matty, too, described himself as "King of Myspace" when he was fifteen. But he brought it up more recently on the Ion Pack Podcast, even mentioning his age as seventeen at the time. And here's a retro clip of Taylor talking about how she wasn't some corporate entity on Myspace, if you messaged her account, you were talking to her! She also filled out her profile in her own words.

She has some things in her profile that might've caught Matty's eye, a fellow teenage country fan and fan of American music specifically, that might've emboldened him to message her:

"I love people who like my music. I love people who are nice to me. I like people who are excitable. I think it's endearing when people cry when they're happy. I'm pretty excitable too. Guys don't ask me out because they know I'll write songs about them. But I'm also the girl who still believes prince charming exists somewhere out there -- fully equipped with great hair and an immature sense of humor. I'm fascinated by black and white pictures. I like people who can be sarcastic and laugh about tense situations. I'm a fan of fans."

Say whatever you will about Matty, but that man is a genuine fan of Taylor's music. When he became a fan is open for discussion, but let's just pretend, for fun, that he found her via Myspace early on in her career.

Now, here is the old Myspace page for The 1975 back when they were known as 'Drive Like I Do' in 2008. Note the James Taylor in the list of Influences! (as well as the Jamie Squire in the top 8! How sweet, I'm sobbing!)

Taylor was a bit of a firecracker on Myspace (and not just there, there's a whole conspiracy theory she used to troll 4Chan!). A few of her comments were screenshotted and you can find them around the internet. Here are some. The one from October 31st, 2005 about a queer fellow ("I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer, it's not as weird as it appears") with a Sex van ("take your shoes off in the back of my van") really caught my eye, anyway…

"Listen my queer fellow. I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes, I do believe I am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up, farewell knave."

Notice the spelling here, too. Thinketh? Hangeth? Knave? Feels a little bit Shakespearean, at least for say, a fifteen-going-on-sixteen-year-old girl (as we would later discover, Love Story and Robbers were both inspired by Romeo and Juliet, both written around the same time so far as I know, but it's hard to find exact dates!)

Matty, by the way, used to refer to himself as the "Prince of the Tyne". He's also got some old Drive Like I Do lyrics from 'We Are the Streetfighters' that are suspicious to me: "Well in four thousand miles we'll meet you" (The nearest airport to Macclesfield is in Manchester, and the distance between Manchester and Nashville? Roughly 4000 miles)

Two months later on December 21st, 2005, just after turning 16, Taylor says she's in England.

Did they meet? Who knows! But there's enough weirdness there to make me wonder. Speaking of weirdness… we're going to go on a side tangent about Fearless, but that's part of the puzzle, so bear with me…

I don't know about anyone else, but when I saw Matty's Fearless Love Gaze™, I was rocked to my core! Men do not look at women like that, but especially not brand-new flings. They're too concerned with trying to look cool and unaffected. For most men (stereotypically), romance and love are "dumb" and "stupid" and perceived as a "woman thing" that men can't be bothered with. But not Matty. Matty was utterly transfixed by her. Something about that touch of mischief in the lip bite when she says the bit about "absentmindedly making me want you", the way he just barely mouths along to the words at the end of the clip, well… sirens started going off for me. So, I followed my intuition and started researching all of this.

Now, Taylor wrote the song 'Fearless' sometime in 2006. The hidden message liner note for Fearless? "I loved you before I met you". Taylor describes 'Fearless' as a song she wrote about a perfect first date she hadn't had yet, about something she didn't have but dreamt of. She debuted it for the first time on April 6th, 2007 in Reading, PA (if you don't already know it, that's two days before Matty's 18th birthday). At this show, she debuted 'Sparks Fly' (yes, in 2007! Original lyrics were brown eyes rather than green eyes, by the way) and 'Tied Together With A Smile'. She also played a cover of John Waite's song 'Missing You' which seems to be about a long-distance relationship: "And it's my heart that's breakin' down this long distance line tonight"

Speaking of Matty's birthday, the release of Fearless TV happened to coincide with Matty's birthday! She dropped a sneak peek of Fearless on his birthday in 2021, and the album would release one day later on the ninth (perhaps because albums release on Fridays and that's as close as she could get?)

Taylor describes the Fearless album as her diary from when she was seventeen (misplaced my source on that quote, d'oh!) That said, 'Love Story' interests me as well. There are some interesting facts about Love Story:

Hidden message: Someday, I'll find this. Taylor wrote this song in a very short amount of time after her parents had told her that she couldn't be with the person she wanted to be with. And in her own words:

"'Love Story' is actually about a guy that I almost dated. But when I introduced him to my family and my friends, they all said they didn't like him. All of them! For the first time, I could relate to that Romeo-and-Juliet situation where the only people who wanted them to be together were them. That's the most romantic song I've written, and it's not even about a person I really dated."

Taylor's UK television debut (like first time ever performing on TV in the UK) was on Loose Women (Matty's mother's show). Now, Denise was not there during this period as a host, but she had been before that and would be afterward, so maybe there's some significance? Maybe not. But if Taylor and Matty knew each other, he would definitely get to be in the audience to see her if he wanted to. The song she chose to perform was 'Love Story'.

Now, 'Robbers' is also based on Romeo and Juliet (and also written circa 2007), and Matty describes that here in a fan video from 2015. We'd see Romeo and Juliet imagery pop up again in 2014, both in Taylor's video for Blank Space (where she's on a balcony looking down at her lover) and in November where she stood up on a balcony at Matty's show as he serenaded her with Fallingforyou (visual comparisons here)

Blank Space, too, might reference Fallingforyou. There's a scene where she rides bikes with her lover inside her enormous house, perhaps reminiscent of Matty's lyric: "All we need's my bike and your enormous house":

Matty even dresses a bit like the lover from 'Love Story' music video at the 2017 BRITs:

When you fall down the Myspace rabbit hole, you start noticing other strange similarities in their lyrics - like Matty referring to a "girl on the screen" in 'If You're Too Shy', which perhaps parallels Taylor's "guy on the screen" in 'Karma'. In 'The 1' (another song that lyrically parallels 'Robbers'), Taylor imagines "the 1 that got away" meeting a woman on the internet and taking her home, which might be another reference to Matty, perhaps lyrically paralleling The 1975's 'Playing On My Mind'. This theory, of course, makes the entire album 'A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships' suspect, especially given that 'Be My Mistake' is a song Matty wrote "about Nashville", the striking similarities between 'Sincerity is Scary' and 'Me!', a song called 'Mine' that references the year 2009, and the inclusion of a Drive Like I Do track Matty wrote when he was just fifteen years old, '102' (the same age he was when he was "King of Myspace"). Considering 'Love Story' was written for someone who Taylor's parents disapproved of, it makes this lyric all the more striking:

"I hope this song will remind you I'm not half as bad as what you've been told."

Lastly, if Matty is the confirmed 'Cardigan' muse and if 'Willow' is the continuation of 'Cardigan' (based on where the music video begins), the scene where she gazes into the water at her lover could perhaps represent a visual metaphor for looking through a screen, no?

Back to the NYU commencement speech! I recommend listening to the FULL clip. She talks about: feeling lonely, chatting with other teenage country fans on Myspace, and then segues into her motivation behind protecting her private life:

"Having the world treat my love life like a spectator sport in which I lose every single game was not a great way to date in my teens and twenties, but it taught me to protect my private life fiercely."

All of this seems correlated to me (also why it's hard for me to reconcile this whole football charade! But for me, it's easier to believe Taylor here about privacy being important to her, and not assume that some boyfriend kept her locked away in a dungeon against her will or something)

Now, to tie this all into a very nice bow, here's a quote where Taylor talks about how she uses easter eggs:

"Easter eggs can be left on clothing or jewelry. This is one of my favorite ways to do this, because you wear something that foreshadows something else, and people don't usually find out this one immediately, but they know you're probably sending a message. They'll figure it out in time."

What shirt was she wearing during her pap walk with Matty? Think of the "He lets her Bejeweled" meme… She had on an NYU sweatshirt.

Now, could be just a giant coincidence, trust me, I know, I get it. However… maybe she's really hinting about an old Myspace pal that she has protected fiercely. I mean, she did seem to use that speech to easter egg/foreshadow YOYOK & Labyrinth lyrics…

Speaking of 'Bejeweled'… On July 15th, 2023 Taylor flubbed the lyrics: "Sapphire tears on Myspace", and then she giggled. Freudian slip, perhaps? But this is the woman who assures us that "nothing is accidental"... and in a song that mentions a "Top 5", no less! (reminiscent of a Top 8, perhaps?)

Maybe James and Betty were involved in a "teenage love triangle" for a reason, and maybe TTPD references "teenage petulance" for that same reason… or maybe it's nothing but a bunch of eerie coincidences! Who knows! In the meantime, I'll keep on clownin'! 🤡

[xsapphic-celestialx]

guys I ended up on the wrong side of swiftie tumblr please help get me back to the normal side where people don’t think that Taylor swift is secretly a lesbian who is singing to k*rlie kl*ss 😭😭 like istg she could marry Travis tomorrow and have 8 kids with him and they’d all be like “omg performance art” like you really think queen kylie kelce would involve her family in this if it was fake? The same kylie who is NOTORIOUS for not taking any bullshit? You think she’s involving her kids in this? Not a chance (side note Kylie kelce please adopt me I love you)

also if she was gay it makes more sense from a pr perspective for her to be single for a while rather than for her to have a “beard” she’s constantly slut shamed for having boyfriends and it’s not like those men get away Scot free either…. like she was fresh out of a 6 year relationship she could very easily have gone the “taking some time to work on myself before I get into another relationship” route if she didn’t want to date men anymore but instead she went straight to matty Healy of all people (which I genuinely think is one of the worst decisions she’s made in the past 5 years but then again she’s a grown adult who can do what she likes it’s none of my business and that is an opinion for another day)

“she’s being so loud in her songs only gaylors would understand” so close! Believing that a celebrity is sending you secret messages is actually a sign of schizophrenia! She’s not your friend she doesn’t know you and you should probably seek help xx

p.s. if you read this and felt offended I suggest you get a job I’ve heard they’re really good at filling all that free time you use to try and tear apart a stranger’s relationship

[notoriousbeb]

Why is Harry Styles All Over TTPD? A Timeline

TTPD Notes Glossary

Upon much ponderation and rabbit-hole-ing I think a truly stunning chunk of tracks on this double album (20) are her processing her feelings for whatever the hell happened with Harry.  

What will likely be my Haylor magnum opus is under the cut because it is a bit lengthy. Good luck. Or I'm sorry??

I think they both pined for each other for years (well documented amongst the Haylors).  

Then she split with Joe Alwyn before she left London for the Eras Tour, but she waited to make the announcement public (probably to give him time to pack up his shit and get out of their shared house) until April 8. However, excited to be “Fresh Out the Slammer,” she reached out to Harry ASAP.  

I realize I might sound like an absolute raving lunatic, but I legit think Harry was at Taylor’s Arlington, Texas, Eras Tour shows, at the end of March/beginning of April 2023, and followed her to New York City for several days. 

While Harry was tied up finishing up the Asian leg of his tour until March 25, I think he came almost straight to her after that, and love-bombed the shit out of her in his excitement.

But then right before he had to leave for tour, with a stopover in LA for the Satellite video and Late Late Show shoots, he gave her some sort of pulling-away speech about taking a pause or pulling back or something, (I’d wager because of the two world tours), which she took as a total rejection, which caused her to lose it and move on to the disaster we call Matty. 

Then, in June, he met Taylor Russell in London. And maybe they were just friends at first, but then Taylor Swift started messing around with Matty, and then in July she started dating Travis and it went public in September. So, I suppose at that point Harry figured, "Okay, to hell with it."  

And now, somewhere in London, I imagine their shared good mate, Ed Sheeran, has a pounding headache and wishes he still drank whiskey.  

I hope the truth of it all someday comes to light in a tell-all book or movie. Or, at the very least, it would be nice if some more clarity surfaces in one of their albums, or a record by Ed.  

Oh, and I think Stevie Nicks, of all fucking people, knows the tea. She considers both of them “like [her] children.” She gave them both matching crescent moon necklaces. And has performed with them. And she wrote the intro poem for this record. Read that and tell me it doesn’t match the story I’ve written in my head. Stevie knows.

And now, the timeline. @foxes-that-run Also has a much more detailed 2023 timeline that I recommend.

There are, I shit you not, about a fortnight of possible days (March 29/30-April 12, 2023) where they could have been together...

March 29/30

Harry likely leaves Toyko after his March 25 show. Love on Tour doesnt start up again until May 13 in Horsens, Denmark.

March 31

Eras Tour is in Arlington, Texas, for N1. It's a rain show. She replaces "Invisible String” with "The 1." The surprise songs were "Sad Beautiful Tragic" and "Ours." Read all my notes on TTPD and go watch these two live performances again. They're...really something.

April 1

She sings "Death by a Thousand Cuts" and "Clean."

April 2

She sings "Jump then Fall" and "The Lucky One."

April 3-6

Neither of them are seen these three days.

April 7

Harry is spotted at baggage claim in Atlanta

April 9

Harry is at the Master's Golf Tournament

April 10

Maybe this is when he leaves her. Taylor goes out for drinks with Jack and Margaret. However, this was an obvious pap walk (the day she had those butterfly jeans on); were the paps maybe called to this location to lure them away from her apartment so a certain person might or might not have could arrive unnoticed after a golf tournament in Atlanta?

April 12

In the afternoon, Harry is spotted with his trusty brown duffel bag (sporting an air travel tag) leaving the gym in LA. In NYC, Taylor is pictured on the roof of Electric Lady (maybe shooting music video?) with a Gucci lion ring just like Harry's but with a green stone. I Mr not the 10th, I think this evening was when he said whatever he said that made her so sad; maybe he thought they should take a pause until their tours were over? Maybe he decided their combined spotlights were just too big to overcome? Who knows? Not me. But my nosy ass wants to know!

April 13

Eras Tour in Tampa N1. Taylor cries during “Lover"

April 14

Eras Tour in Tampa N2. She plays "The Great War" (performed with Aaron Dessner) and "You're On Your Own, Kid."

April 15

Eras Tour in Tampa N2. She plays "Treacherous."

April 21

Eras Tour in Houston N1. She plays "Wonderland" and "You're Not Sorry" (these choices seem…significant. In a not good way.)

April 22

N2 in Houston. She plays "A Place in This World" and "Today Was a Fairytale" (for her mom, who I am sure was being a rock for her at this trying time)

April 23

N3 in Houston. She plays "Begin Again" and "Cold as You"

April 27 and 28

Harry does shoots for the "Satellite" music video and the last episode of the Late Late Show. The scenes for the music video aren't used. In my opinion his face looks puffy on Late Late (maybe from crying?)

Eras Tour Atlanta N1 Taylor sings "The Other Side of the Door" and "Coney Island."

April 30

Eras Tour Atlanta N3 she sings "I Bet You Think About Me" and "How You Get the Girl." She cries again during “Champagne Problems."

May 5-7

Ah, the Nashville Era's Tour shows. Such fond, fond memories. She sang “Sparks Fly,” “Teardrops on My Guitar,“ "Out of the Woods,” “Fifteen” (Abigail was there, and she dedicated this one to her)," Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” with Aaron Dessner and “Mine” (also Speak Now drop).

May 11

Dinner with Matty and Jack and Margaret at Casa Cipriani in NYC

Is it possible the villainy of Matty is that he planted the original story in The Sun that he and Taylor were dating? It ran May 3, two days before he showed up (from Asia) to the Eras Tour play with Phoebe Bridgers as the opening act in Nashville. I just always thought that was odd. Maybe he had a big fat mouth.

May 12

Eras Tour Philadelphia N1. She played “Gold Rush” and “Come Back…Be Here” (Aww, girl….)

May 13

LOT picks up again in Horsens, Denmark. He's smiling to himself all cute like during "Fine Line." Plus he played "Stockholm Syndrome" for the first time in yeeeears and looked delighted. :(

Taylor's surprise songs were “Forever & Always” and “This Love.”

May 15

Either way, she leaves Electric Lady studios with Matty in tow.

May 19

She plays "Should've Said No" and "Better Man." (Well, that's seems...not good.)

May 20

Ah, the day of the “Question…?” and “Invisible” combo. (Oh, Tay). Matty is seen entering Taylor's apartment with a big Louis bag full of what many people believe is the typewriter. I always assumed it was clothes or a synthesizer or some kind of equipment. ¯\_(ツ)_/

May 25

This is the last day she was seen with Matty (and the chorus of angels sang)

But, really, only he was seen outside her apartment leaving with his stuff. She wasn’t in town. 

They were never seen together again after May 15. 

May 26

Era's Tour Metlife N1. She sings “Getaway Car” with Jack Antonoff and “Maroon” (this was a very angry face Maroon).

May 27

Metlife N2. She sings “Holy Ground” and “False God," and cries.

June 22

Taylor records “The Black Dog” at Electric Lady. “Six weeks of breathing clean air,” if we’re being specific here (although she was touring and it could have just sounded good) would be May 11, 2023.

August 13

Stevie Nicks owns the opening poem for the album.

[9w1ft]

on the note of swifties speculating and interpreting things:

it's also interesting to me how suddenly people assume JA or Matty is bisexual because of Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus implying a muse having relationships with people of presumably different genders, yet they

don't take into account that the muse could be a female who's bisexual/queer

don't seem to hold the same reservations about speculating about someone's sexuality if it's not Taylor's sexuality that's being questioned

the casual hypocrisy is infuriating but it’s funny because as the years go by it kinda turns from infuriating into feelings of being more confident in your own interpretation because you start to realize how little importance their opinions carry, because they aren’t based in true morality, it’s not fair and balanced, it’s just a game of debate club with people throwing whatever they think will stick

[thecynthh]

Gift — M.S.

synopsis • matt gives y/n a present since she passed her exams for the term

warnings • cotton candy fluff, my shit writing

notes • college setting, f!partner, matt n u r dating

author chats • this is my first ever fic !! please give feedback i need validation

also i’ll write a pt 2 with smut in it if yalls like this one 🤗

——————————————————————————

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i want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck, chain round my neck

not because he owns me, but because he really knows me

Y/N’s POV

heavy tension finally clears from my shoulders as i take a step out of the thick classroom door. my feet automatically start my treck to a local coffee shop near my building. barely taking a few steps out the door my phone begins to buzz with excitement.

matty b❣️

the nickname flashes on my screen as i pull out my cell phone from the back pocket of my cargo pants. clicking the screen immediately after processing who it was.

“hello?” i say whipping my phone up to my ear.

“hey pretty girl” matt replies to my initial greeting. “so tell me, how’d it go?”

“personally i think it went phenomenal and to make it even better i KNOW it was super amazing” i explain absolutely thrilled by my amazing scores

unlike matt going through school was a necessity. i needed to succeed and i’m glad i had as great as a support that matt has been for the past year. my dream was so close all thanks to him, if he didn’t pull me out of that anxiety slump and put me back to work so soon i would’ve failed this exam.

i soon make it to coffee shop after asking matt how his day went and then getting greeted by the same barista whose been working there since i started at Eastwood.

“by the way i just made it to the cafe, im just going to pick up my coffee then i can head to your place to hang out” i tell my phone. the barista asks if my usual is good in a hushed voice seeing my phone up to my ear. i nod to him while walking over to the pick up side of the counter.

“actuallllyyy you can go straight to your apartment, i have a surprise for you” matt says showing excitement for what he got for me.

“matt, you can’t do this to me, im gunna cry” i reply with a fake teary voice.

a small chuckle echos through my ear. “you deserve it princess, all of it.”

“okay i’ll be home soon, i won’t make you wait much longer, love ya.” i snatch my drink and take a peak outside, snow fell from the coveted sky. matt would love how pretty this weather is.

Matt’s POV

“i love you too-“ that was all i could squeeze in before she hung up on me.

right now i just made it into y/n’s apartment waiting on her to get home, i bought a bouquet of red roses, which were here favourite, and i saw the prettiest necklace and i knew i had to get it for her.

it was held in a small velvet box waiting for its owner to claim it. opening it caused a small showcase light to illuminate the silver “m” that was a matching silver chain.

i thought about her when i saw it on the small mannequin. the only thing that played through my mind while i purchased it was that one taylor swift song she loves. i know swift isn’t really my vibe but she won a bet and got the aux for the car ride, it was catchy but i’ll never admit to liking taylor swift.

soon after fixing the bouquet i hear the lock on the door click and unlock. i hold up the flowers standing near the door with the necklaces box burning a hole through my jean pocket.

the door swings open revealing my girlfriend. my lovely girlfriend. her eyes lit up with glee as she looks at the bouquet in my hands.

Y/N’s POV

all i see is matt with a large bouquet of flowers in his hands and sweet smile drawn on his face.

i yank the large amount of red roses from his hands placing them down carefully on the coffee table near us and dive into his arms.

“thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.” i blurt out between each peck on his face. matts face lightly covered in a deep red lipstick he still just stands there waiting for me to done.

“of course princess, im really proud of you for finishing that exam.” he says to me pulling me in even closer.

“but to make it even better….” he trails off while sneaking is hand into his jean pocket. out comes a small jewelry box, he opens it presenting a necklace with his initial on it.

“i remember that song you like a lot, i don’t remember it all too well but i knew it meant a lot to you so-“

“i love so fucking much matty. you have no idea” i rest my forehead against his and slowly connect our lips.

he returns the kiss slowly with his hand snaking around the small of my back tugging me a little closer.

i’ve never wanted to be anywhere else in that moment.

[poshpunkqueen]

I've been listening to Taylor Swift since the debut. I'm not one of those listeners that believe Taylor is a Princess, wholly innocent, 24/7 victim but at the same time I don't believe she's a Villain. She's made mistakes.

I'm not one of those listeners that has the time and immoral capacity to sit on the Internet to committ Cyber crimes nor am I willing to put my health on the line to see her live. There should be boundaries.

The transfer from Teenhood to Adulthood for Taylor...I could tell ..she's still unravelling. Its okay to be in your 30s and still finding yourself. Hopefully there is an expiry date.

I'm not trying to be funny but I believe Taylor needs therapy. There are some unresolved things: fame, dealing with the industry and the media has definitely affected her. I don't think she's quite shake off alot stuff. It's passivity with a cupcake appearance of happiness.

Her patterns and methodology when it comes to music....mmmh the adults are taking a step back and analysing 😄. Writing those songs and knowing the effects will eventually become a "Here we go again" Moment. Everyone will move on and she will remain.Therapy is needed.The pride comes before the fall.

I say this because when Tortured Poets Project was announced I was unsure about it. I've never been unsure about a Taylor album. But then again I'm aware of the Taylor Formula. Not sure if she can carry this formula into her 40s and 50s 😄 but we will see. But I listen for listening sake..I'm listening to everyone this year.

TTPD Album: I had to stop half way because its the typical Taylor album...same note 🙆🏻‍♂️ same storyline... lol no doubt she's a good songwriter. Not sure how to feel about missiles being sent to someone who struggled or struggling with Depression. NOPE.

Emotional cheating is interesting lol We had this before 👀. Alcoholism and the talks about drugs is interesting too. Blurring the lines between two men. One you barely bedded to be in this deep. This seems like a tactic for writing material. Calculated PR stunts. I said this last year...she knows what she's doing...she dated him purposely ...she knew what to expect and Matty knew what to expect ...I'm disappointed in Matty selling out ...and acting out for attention..he needs to grow up too....he knows better. He made the whole band look bad...(I'm George fan btw)

Meathead guys years ago like Travis Kelce were saying they wanted to date Taylor for fame and songs. Sadly I'm starting to see it. Travis is a big time user. However we live and learn 😆

Idk I don't get it. If people pay attention to her lyrics not just on this album but previous albums, she tells on herself alot lol. We will have this again 2026.

Being Human isn't without flaws and wrong paths but it seems people only see it with Taylor Swift. .they don't see it with others 🫡 Others would would be stamped with cancellation. The Devil.

Taylor is in her 30s and I hope she figures out what she wants personally and professionally. It doesn't make sense moving from person to person then writing these songs. This is why therapy is important.

A few weeks ago, we heard Beyoncé album and I'm not the biggest Bey fan but we heard her different layers vocally and with the blending of genres. While I'm aware Taylor isn't a vocalist...I want to hear her do other genres.

Honestly I liked Midnights and reputation better.

Here are the songs I might listen to again:

✨️ Fortnight

✨️TTPD

✨️Down Bad

✨️So Long London

✨️The Prophecy

✨️Robin

⛔️Florida...but it's meh...Florence was downplayed...similar to Snow on the Beach with Lana.

The other songs were...okay....

I support Joe. I don't think Joe deserves this...I'm not gonna defend wrong actions even if I like your songs...

TBH EVENTUALLY I WILL STOP LISTENING TO TAYLOR BECAUSE I'VE GONE BACK DEEP INTO ROCK AND OLD SKOOL MUSIC

[rentalboos]

Loml - A breakdown (while I try not to break down because this song is so fucking sad)

Since Swifties continue to be blind to the truth, here's an entire lyrical breakdown for why Loml is about Matty Healy (whether I like it or not - And I do not)

Who's gonna stop us from waltzing Back into rekindled flames? If we know the steps anyway We embroidered the memories Of the time I was away Stitching, "We were just kids, babe"

-> Taylor and Matty had a bit of a will they, won't they situation since they first met in 2014 (when Taylor was 24 - "We were just kids, babe").

I said, "I don't mind, it takes time" I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed

-> "I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed" Throughout the entire album, we get the idea that Joe was her safe option, while Matty was the wild one. Fresh out the Slammer and Guilty as Sin in particular refer to how Joe started to bore her and feel like a prison, while Matty brought fresh wind and passion into her life.

In your suit and tie, in the nick of time You low-down boy, you stand up guy Holy Ghost, you told me I'm The love of your life

I'm sorry, but "you low-down boy" being a reference to London Boy is a reach, when she has explicit songs about London on the album, she's clearly not trying to code anything. Low-down simply means "mean and unfair", it goes along with her calling him a conman later on. She's saying he tricked her with false promises. Matty knew all the things she wanted from Joe but wouldn't get (mainly promises of marriage, kids, etc) and used that knowledge.

"Low-down boy" vs "stand-up guy" is a play on words - he was a low-down boy but he presented himself to her as a stand up guy.

In fact, refers to Matty coming back and telling her he'd changed a couple times, most significantly in this very song, and then again and again referenced to him "needing the drugs more" - So he hadn't changed or put her first at all.

You said I'm the love of your life About a million times

-> This goes hand in hand with what I said above - he made her false promises and then dropped her.

Who's gonna tell me the truth When you blew in with the winds of fate And told me I reformed you

-> Exactly this - Matty told her he'd grow up for her (like she had wanted in "Peter") but it didn't turn out to be true at all. He wasn't "reformed", he still abandoned her at the first sight of trouble, after insisting again and again that she "needed a brave man" (and then proceeded to play him)". She refers to his broken promises all over the album, you guys. When your impressionist paintings of Heaven Turned out to be fakes Well, you took me to hell, too And all at once, the ink bleeds A con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme But I felt a hole like this Never before, and ever since

-> "A get love quick scheme".

I don't know how many of you have come out of a seven year long relationship lately, but I can only imagine how scary it was for the woman who literally wrote The Prophecy. Like she said in So Long, London, it must've felt like she wasted her youth on someone who she was never going to end up with. Matty sweeping in at the exact time, promising her security and a love to fall back to, someone who wanted her forever, must've felt like a cheat to her, like using motherlode in Sims, y'know? A get love quick scheme. But he was a conman, he didn't mean it, he ghosted her (as we know from Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.)

Note that she also explicitly says "All at once" - It was a sudden ending, not the long-drawn out goodbye she had with Joe.

If you know it in one glimpse It's legendary What we thought was for all time Was momentary

-> A seven year long relationship isn't "momentary" in any sense of the word or metaphor, by the way

Still alive, killing time at the cemetery Never quite buried

-> This clearly refers to the fact that they were never quite over each other. Peter references this - So does Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus. She waited for him for years and years, changed herself, waited for him to change, waited for the right timing, etc. Never quite buried.

You cinephile in black and white All those plot twists and dynamite Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry You said I'm the love of your life

-> More than one person can be a cinephile. As far as I know, Black & White aesthetic is a big 1975 thing. She references his suit in The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived. I believe the reason she brings it up again and again, is because he uses it for his show - it's a costume. He was playing dress up for her, pretending to be reformed. It's the conman thread coming back.

"Plot twists and dynamites" refer back to him being the "wild" choice over Joe being the safe one.

I've also seen Joe truthers say the "Mr. Steal your girl" line is about Tom, but if you listen to Guilty as Sin, you'll realize he's not the only one who stole the girl. (It's not an active act of the man "stealing" her anyway, as Taylor very much has her own agency. It's an Ivy situation. His ivy grew all over her stone house with Joe - and yes, I'm sorry, I fear Ivy is about Matty Healy too. It's bascially Guilty as Sin in less horny.)

You shit talked me under the table Talking rings and talking cradles I wish I could un-recall How we almost had it all

-> Again, I see people repeatedly point these out to be clearly about Joe, when - no. If anything, we have sufficient proof that Joe avoided these topics like the pest ("I wouldn't marry me either" </3). Matty was the one who put her "ring on the finger people put wedding rings on" (and that's the closest she's come-), he's the one who made all the promises Joe wouldn't make and then broke them all within a month's time. Which leads us to the rest of this devastating bridge!

Dancing phantoms on the terrace Are they second-hand embarrassed That I can't get out of bed? Cause something counterfeit's dead It was legendary It was momentary It was unnecessary Should've let it stay buried

-> It's interesting because she brings up watching the phantoms of her and Matty a couple times, actually. In Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus, she talks about watching his "Hologram", but she also says "can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses".

So yeah, obviously, this is about all his false promises finally coming to fruition. She's left with nothing but Phantoms and fake portraits of heaven. He left her. It was a momentary thing that felt too legendary to just forget it. She wishes she had left it stayed buried and never found out (You could even say... regretting him was like wishing she never found out that love could be that strong...)

Oh, what a valiant roar What a bland goodbye The coward claimed he was a lion I'm combing through the braids of lies "I'll never leave" ... "Never mind"

-> "What a valiant roar / The coward claimed he was a lion" So people aren't going to like this, but this directly references The Black Dog.

"You said I needed a brave man, then proceeded to play him, until I believed it too // Tail between your legs, you're leaving."

(yes, this song is also about Matty, yes, I'm probably going to break that one down too, because Swifties are even more infuriatingly determined not to see it when it's even MORE obivous).

It could not be made more clear from these lyrics - The person in both songs LEFT HER. If you listen to So long, London, How did it end and You're losing me, you'll find that SHE left Joe. Moreso, their relationship ending was a brutally slow, painful death, while this is a sudden abandoning (Or "desertion" as she so beautifully put it) that she's describing in virtually every song about Matty. Down Bad, The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived, My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys, TTPD, Fortnight, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire Your arson's match your somber eyes And I'll still see it until I die You're the loss of my life

-> He's the arsonist. She's saying it very clearly. He burned all their mutual dreams down ("The magic/tragic fabric of our dreaming").

And for all the people who don't understand why she'd attribute the "loss of her life" to Matty instead of Joe: Not only did she wait for this man her whole life, and in the back of her mind always thought she'd one day fall back with him, he also played a large part in her feeling trapped by her relationship with Joe and feeling safe enough to leave it. She jumped right from that relationship to Matty, then lost both in the span of a month. That's a gigantic loss for her.

She lost the Peter to her Wendy (We know, by now, that Cardigan wasn't all that fictional, right?) and the man she decided to settle for instead ("Better safe than starry-eyed"). She lost all the promises he made her of everything she ever wanted. She lost all the prospects for her future that she thought she had with Joe, then thought she had with Matty, in the blink of an eye. He gave her hope than took it away.

With that context, relisten to The Prophecy. It's so fucking heartbreaking. (Thank fuck for Travis man). I genuinely, truly, think that Taylor did a very intentional, meaningful thing, where the only songs *directly* about and at Joe are So Long, London and How Did It End (aka both track 5 songs).

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

Ok so I have a few things about taylor and swifties I need to get off my chest and I hope I make sense because the words are stuck in my head.

These are my opinions and you are welcome to disagree

1. After two months or listening to different songs on the album and revisiting songs I still think she is lost but not as I originally thought.

I think she is lost personally and is stuck in her career. I feel like she has certain goals and dreams that people are her not agreeing with. I think she is tired of having to keep fighting for stuff. I feel like many of the songs have double meaning that we are not seeing.

I know a lot of people think the songs are about matty but for me the songs go beyond him. There is more to the story than we know.

Maybe I am projecting or something I don’t know but the albydoeant sound like a breakup album or the short relationship she had with matty. To me some lyrics read like there is more but she is letting people think it’s about matty to market it (which is shitty)

I always believed she wielded her relationship as weapons which is why there isn’t much about Joe on the album, because he was never a weapon, he was more but they simply didn’t work. She did use the breakup though because needed something to hold on to from a certain life time.

And this is not defending her or finding excuses this is simply a conclusion I came too.

2. Travis Kelsey is not the love of her life. He is something giving her something opposite of what she had for 6 years and that’s it. Nothing deeper than that.

On a different note, I went from omfg he is the cutest thing to this make gives me “I will hit a woman and justify it” vibes. I swear it was a flip of the switch. I don’t know what it was it just happened and that scares me for many reasons.

3. The unnecessary criticism of her is taking away from viable criticism. Like saying she is copying other people and saying she doesn’t sing live is so stupid. She does sing live I was at the eras tour and she is singing live for three and a half hours weather the haters like it or not. And even at that it’s not an insult to her it’s an insult on her vocalist and her band more than anything.

Like please use the criticism space fairly so it doesn’t take away from the important issues

Sorry for the long message I had more to say but I am tired sleepy and lost my train of thought 😂

This is always a safe space for yon to rant, anon 💜

1. I’ve always wondered whether artists (including Taylor) include a double meaning in their work that’s not meant to be understood by their audience. Like hidden clues meant for their muses or purely for themselves. I wouldn’t be surprised if this were the case with Taylor.

Of course, there’s always going to be more to the story. I like Joe Alwyn’s quote about this, “There is always going to be a gap between what is known and what is said. I have made my peace with that.”

At the end of the day, all we can do is theorise.

2. I feel similar about TK. I went from feeling indifferent about him to feeling disgusted over him. For me, it happened after he showed his anger issues towards his coach and when I heard that he makes rape jokes and has called women “breeders”. His response to the Harrison Butker speech was also very telling of his ignorance and his privilege as a straight white man.

3. Completely agree. Yes, she is choosing to be silent on genocide. Yes, she’s a climate criminal. No, her song-writing is not “bad” and no, her singing isn’t “bad” either.

[youunravelme]

Hope you are okay re the medical issues you mentioned!! Just wanted to say that I cannot wait for Murphy’s Law!! Your fics are truly some of the best I’ve read on tumblr and I definitely consider you my favourite Mat Barzal writer!! Can I ask how you come up with the plots for your pieces? Maybe my imagination just isn’t great but I don’t think I’d ever be able to do it haha

Keep up the amazing work! 💞

i'm good now lol, to summarize my medical problems: i had gallstones and really bad flare ups. i'll probably have to get surgery to get my gallbladder removed at some point, but that's a problem for a later date lolol.

you're too kind!! seriously, thank you for sending sweet messages like this, makes my day/night each and every time.

now i'm gonna warn you, this is way more in depth than you probably wanted, but we both know i'm not good at being succinct.

as far as plot, maybe this isn't the best way, but it works for me. for most of the fics i'm currently writing, i think of a trope and build off that. so for this is how you fall in love, i started with fake dating and built in mommy issues and other female character's internalized misogyny and the reader's insecurity. for the first fic i wrote, head start, i wanted a childhood best friends to lovers for jack. for murphy's law, i took the brother's best friend trope and added fwb to it. for this matty tkachuk fic, i took the second chance romance with a heaping pile of suffering and angst and started writing that.

now for to all the girls you've loved before, i was projecting because i was a nanny at the time (i wasn't in love with the dad lol, in case that was ever a thought someone had) and wanted to create a world where ordinary people could fall in love with a famous person lolol my favorite disney princess is cinderella, can you tell?

for the worst wing woman, i built the story off the reader's profession and personality instead of a specific trope.

but i also use music to inspire me as well! drops of jupiter was taken from the train song but an angstier version, if that makes sense. it's nice to have a friend was inspired by seven by taylor swift.

i read a shit ton of fics (which is one reason it takes me so long to write lolol) and i find so much inspiration in just the words people are using to create beautiful stories and phrases (i'm looking at you @chewingcyanide). i think improving your writing means reading other people's work and getting inspiration from the things they're creating. i literally look at emme's (chewingcyanide, linked above) work and take mental notes at the sheer talent in her word choice, it's so evocative. or i'll look into @thewintersoldierdisaster's works and get righteously jealous of her banter and dialogue (seriously check her stuff out!).

i say all this to say there's not a wrong or right way to write and find inspiration. i think starting with tropes or songs might be the easiest, but i always shoot to make it my own. ultimately speaking, it's about writing what you love and what inspires you the most.