#take out the christianity and the forced aspects and it’s hot

[otter-pup]

hate my stupid horny brain sometimes

[inbarfink]

The fact that Brad and Janet sing their big romantic duet in a graveyard and a funeral serves three main points, in my opinion. Most directly, it quickly communicates to the audience that this is not just a straightforward love song in a straightforward musical.

By having them run around and sing while seemingly totally oblivious to their grim surrounding, doodle on the church’s doors and barge in on a stranger's funeral - it communicates to the audience that we’re not supposed to take this song totally seriously and we are supposed to find Brad and Janet at least kinda mockable and worthy of criticism in their ‘wholesomeness’.

Secondly, it foreshadows that Brad and Janet’s seemingly happy engagement is doomed to end by the end of this story. Especially as the size of the coffin implies this is a funeral for a child. Brad and Janet’s engagement is also going to ‘die’ very very young.

Thirdly, I think it indicates that the engagement itself is something foreboding and that the whole song is less happy than it appears on the surface. Like the backdrop of the song is betraying some of Brad and Janet’s true feelings.    Especially note how the song starts on the Ominous Thunder that hints on the storm to come.

I mean, I don’t think that it’s a brand-new-super-hot-take to point out that Brad and Janet were probably repressing a lot of their own desires to fit in with the conservative heteronormative culture they came from - and that what happened within the Frankenstein’s Place was less about them being corrupted by a totally outside force and more about them letting out already-existing repressed parts of themselves.

So, even if Brad and Janet truly love each other, I think that, deep down, the happy happy heteronormative monogamous wedded life this song celebrates is not the kind of love they would want to have together. That’s the importance of Janet beating the other girls to the brides’ bouquet. Due to the superstition that whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to marry, that kinda puts pressure on Brad to propose to ‘fulfil’ that belief. Would he have proposed to Janet that day if the bouquet didn’t make him feel obliged to do so?

And I think at least some of Janet’s eagerness to marry is probably more about, well, Janet lived all her life in a very sexually repressed culture, but she is also secretly very very horny. Becoming a married woman was the only way she was allowed to have sex without being labeled as some sort of, well, Slut.  I think that she was eager to finally be able to have sex while still being a Good Christian GirlTM.

This aspect of marriage is also referenced in the Ralph and Betty Wedding.

And note how the implication here is that the wedding is what Betty wanted and the sex is just something Ralph gets from her in return. Janet’s environment was such that even in the one condition in which she was allowed to have sex, the idea of her own sexual desires was underplayed - she was just there to fulfill Brad's. Even though, deep down, Janet is clearly the Hornier of the two.

But in Brad and Janet’s life, marriage - and all the specific gender roles and sexual expectations that came with it, was seen as inevitability, maybe on the same level that death is an actual inevitability. Brad and Janet could try and make a happy production out of it, but the backdrop betrays their true feelings about it.

[lunarvalleysbetterplanet]

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. Winter is my favorite time of year, despite living in Florida where it barely even drops below 60 degrees. I've always found all the lights and the music very comforting. My favorite Christmas movie (Elf) and hot cider with twinkling lights on the Christmas tree. Family dinners with kids running around. Sitting around a bonfire laughing with friends and drinking wine. Even Christmas eve service added to that sense of holiday joy. Singing Christmas carols and holding a candle. It wasn't necessarily the religious aspect that gave me joy, but more the community of it.

I spent from the time I was around 8 years old until 18 heavily involved in church. Then, it was much sporadic. I'd go through religious phases that would last a few months before I'd give up and return to my actual self. In July of last year, I fell into one of those spirals and for some reason, it was much worse than usual. It lasted an entire year for starters. I joined a reformed Christian church, got re-baptized (for the first time as an adult, third overall) and just fully jumped into living the most pious, devout lifestyle I could. It took a full blown mental breakdown to snap me out of it.

Christmas during this time last year was easier than ever. I was more palatable and tolerable for most of my family. I was forcing myself to agree with whatever the Bible said, including what it says about women. I spent a lot of effort trying to force myself into the ideal version of a woman. Softer, gentler, less passionate and less sarcastic. I tried carving out all of my queerness. I lost everything that makes me lovely. I was reading the Bible for literally hours and hours a day. I wouldn't listen to "secular music" and I basically stopped engaging any media that wasn't Bible approved. I went to small group, bible studies and ladies events. I served in Children's ministry. I was busier and more social than I've been in years.

And I was numb. I was disassociated because I didn't want to face that I was depressed and miserable. I gained a lot of weight. I nearly ruined the relationships with my sister and best friend who were watching me turn into a person I would have hated. But god, Christmas was easy. No arguments over politics or me being too much. My family was overjoyed to see me back in church.

Fast forward to June of this year. I have my first of three mental breakdowns. Things had not been good since like January. I was struggling and taking that as a sign I was being #theverybestchristian because the Bible says we are supposed to suffer for Christ afterall. I struggled and struggled. Cried constantly. Prayed till I was blue in the face. Upped my daily Bible reading. Until I had one second where I was sitting in my house and I looked around and said audibly to myself "What the fuck have I done? Who am I?"

And after that mental breakdown, I tried to plod on. I'd done irreparable damage to my ability to pretend I was happy or that things were okay. July I have another minor breakdown. Then August I have the big one. I am nearly unfunctional in my mental breakdown. It's triggered by me googling about spiritual drought. I start to google why I would be having these religious phases. I know it's over now. I come across a tweet and it rocks my entire world.

It had literally never crossed my mind that others go through this. I realize I do have a ton of religious trauma. I text my therapist and start going regularly again. I deconstruct, fully and actually work through why I was so afraid of hell. Why I believe what I believe. I deconvert. I realize I will no longer be a Christian. Not even a backslidden 'I'm not dealing with this but I'll come home later' one. I won't have the crutch of prayer.

Now, I am clearly dealing with some shit. My depression is raging. My house is a disaster. I've pulled away from my family because I know how they are going to take this. (They do not take it well)

I am not okay. I am working on healing. But, for once in my fucking life and I am letting myself actually work through all my trauma. I skipped Thanksgiving. Sat alone and got high. Ordered Chinese and cried, a lot. I won't miss Christmas because I love it. I have always loved it. It's gonna hurt like a motherfucker though. The soul aching loneliness that I am dealing with both from the loss of religion and the fact that I am alone. I have very few friends, no romantic prospects and being with my family is so complicated. I am so lonely it hurts physically in my chest. I find myself crying quite frequently. I am leaning into this.

I put on my 'Make the Yuletide Gay' playlist and make hot chocolate. I read holiday themed fan fiction and cry. I will go look at lights, the only single person amongst my family. I'll put up my sad little artificial tree and watch Elf with my cat. I am getting better. I won't lose the genuine love I have for this time of year.

[wokestonecraft]

Once again seeing posts about radfems only criticize hijabs and not any other religions’ forced modesty like okay lol, this is my time to shine, I have such a bone to pick with Christianity. I had to veil in a Catholic Church to attend my aunt’s wedding. There was a little pamphlet explaining that veiling was a mark of respect towards women, since they were the vessels of life, and compared it to the veiling of the chalice used for the eucharist. My aunt was told by the priest that she better hurry up and start having kids before her womb shriveled up, haha. (She was in her late thirties and desperately wanted kids). I tore off my veil as soon as I got outside and refused to put it back on until my mom made go back inside for the pictures. I was an angry teen girl, and I was made angrier that I would go home in a few days, and have to face more modesty restrictions at my school and in my town. Now, we didn’t have to cover our heads, but shoulders and knees were verboten, and we would make fun of another school where girls had to wear ankle length skirts, because that school was “too strict”. We at least got to wear pants. I remember when my best friend, who had gone through puberty a little bit earlier than rest of us, was pulled aside by a teacher and told in no uncertain terms that she was showing too much cleavage and that she had to go and change. We were in middle school, and she was wearing the same simple crew neck shirts as the rest of us. She cried in the bathroom, and for years afterwards, she would always wear a camisole underneath all her shirts. I just gave up and wore nothing but long pants and skirts so I don’t have to endure the humiliation of having my shorts or skirts measured. I wore jackets all the time, so I wouldn’t have my shirts’ necklines scrutinized. We had similar rules in regards to our sportswear, certain length skirts and shorts, no bellies showing, and no wearing just a sports bra ever. This was particular issues with the girls tennis team, as we started training in late august in the American south, and would get so hot we wanted to strip off our shirts and pour cold water over ourselves. One girl did this, and brought out the school’s principle to yell at us about disrespecting the game, ourselves, and the school. Her shirt went back on. This was really irritating as the boys track team trained at the same time, and not only did the boys run shirtless, they wore the tiniest shorts that left nothing to the imagination. And they were never told off for being immodest. One year, the girls swim team had to take their yearbook photo in their school uniforms instead of their racing one pieces because it was too immodest. The boys team was photographed in their speedos and swim caps.

Maybe it’s because I grew up in the Bible Belt, but I am always hundred percent ready to levy any criticisms at Christianity’s modesty standard. We just didn’t cover our hair, but that doesn’t mean we weren’t still policed with same accusations of “slut” and “whore” when we stepped out of line. I was lucky, in that my parents didn’t particularly care what I wore as long I was neat and clean, but I knew girls whose parents would check over their clothes to make sure that they were modest enough before they went out the door.

I still struggle with wearing certain kinds of clothes. It’s summer right now and I’m wearing jeans, as I never show my legs unless I can help it, lol. The amount of times I skipped out of swimming bc I didn’t want to wear a bathing suite in front of people fills me with regret. My sister struggles from the same issues, and we didn’t even come from a religious family, this is just the attitude our town and region had towards women and girls’ bodies. I think head coverings and face veils are easy to point out, as the face and head are such important parts of human interaction, but modesty standards on general are terrible and should be critised regardless of religion, and I don’t think radfems pull any punches when it comes to Christianity lol.

There are some good books about American Christian modesty and purity culture that helped me to move forward, and well as making me extremely grateful to my relaxed and loving parents, especially my strong and independent mother who did her best to combat what the rest of the world was teaching us. “Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free” by Linda Kay Klein is heartbreaking personal account of the American evangical purity movement, and I really recommend it to anyone who has been or is going through something similar. “The Purity Myth” by Jessica Valenti discusses how American culture deals with the concept of female virginity, and it’s consequences, and highlights a lot of the religious aspects involved therein. “I Fired God” by is Jocelyn Zichterman is the author’s personal memoirs of her life in and escape from a fundamentalist Baptist cult and it does touch on modesty standards and the consequences. And finally, there’s a book that I think every American radfem should read, which is “Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement” by Kathryn Joyce, which is a harrowing documentation of far right Christianity in the US and the wider world. It’s a tad bit outdated, as some of the major figures discussed, like Doug Phillips of Vision Forum, have fallen in scandal and disgrace, but it’s really important to read, especially in light of how politics in the US are moving against women right now.

[ellemany]

Sleepless - Act 3

<<< Act 1

<<< Act 2

Recommended music: Rubi - Andrade ft. Kawe

She laughed a slight laugh out of nowhere, turning to look at him.

- Did I ever tell ya ‘bout the time I messed up my brother's sex in the barn?

- What? - Yoru bowed his head a little back, looking at her. - No. Which brother?

- Christian.

- Oh, no…- Yoru drank his hot chocolate. - The only brother who doesn't want to kill me?

- They don't want to kill you. - Skye laughed, patting him on the arm, making a thoughtful face then. - Well, it's not because they tried that they wanted.

Skye was the fourth of six children, being the only girl. The guys looked like alternate versions of Breach, each one more overprotective than the other. When Skye took Yoru to meet them, he thought the giants would slice him with the axes and serve it to Skye pretending to be a vegan nugget. If she wasn't tougher than any of them, protecting him, probably Yoru today would be ground beef.

- I bet that wasn't the last time. They hate me... - The Japanese grumbled, drinking his hot chocolate.

- They just need to get used to you. - Skye made a neglect gesture, drinking her hot chocolate. - Like your sister.

While Skye grew up with a snag of brothers, Yoru did not live long with his little sister. She was born when his radiant abilities awakened. He was forced to go to the "radiant boarding school", or worse piece of hell, as Yoru called it, until he was able to control his powers and be gradually "reinstated" into society. Despite this, the little one was extremely attached to her brother. Skye swore that the brat missed the tricks with her butterfly knife (a gift from Yoru, who, for some reason, thought it wise to give a sharp knife to a child) on purpose to throw it towards her, just for jealous. The girl was crazier in this aspect than Yoru himself. At that time, the Protocol was in Tokyo, so the two girls had to deal with each other. After Skye showed the right way to blind someone, the girl stopped picking on her. Soon they established a strong friendship. Yoru said they liked each other more than they liked him. He was sometimes afraid that was true.

- My sister doesn't have two meters or is strong enough to throw a horseshoe at my head. - Yoru looked at Skye, raising an eyebrow.

- That didn't even hit you. Stop being so dramatic. - The redhead took a lock of hair from the front of her face, filling her cheeks with air. - Where did I stop?

- The fuck of poor Christian.

- Oh yeah. - Skye nodded, drinking her hot chocolate. – So, Chris had a new girlfriend, and he was turning into an asshole because of her. He treated me, Mery and Diah like we were trash, and he was throwing all his chores in our lap. That's when he didn't get any fight with us for nothing. It was worse in front of the girl. Trying to look badass. - Yoru raised an eyebrow, rethinking his favorite Skye’s brother while sipping his hot chocolate. - There was a day when Dad told him to clean the barn, since he pushed this task with his belly for months. It was a festival day and, like, you guys in the big city always have something different to do and see. There, in farm, any new thing was very exciting. - Skye smiled, remembering the moments in her small town. Yoru observed her expression with delight, finding her nostalgia wonderful. - Me and the twins did all our early work in the week just so I could go to the festival. But then, what does Chris do? He bribes Luke and Paul so they tell Dad we changed the chores. He took all the credit for the things we did, and we'd still have to clean the barn and... Do you remember the barn? - Skye turned to Yoru.

- No. - He denied it with his head, deciding he was going to hate Christian.

- So, the barn is huuuuuuuuge. - Skye made a grand gesture with her hands, almost pouring her chocolate on Yoru. - And we was what? Fifteen and fourteen years! It would take a long time to clean that up. - Skye sighed dramatically, drinking her hot chocolate, which was already halfway through. - When we tried to complain, Dad said it was ugly to lie and that we should keep our word. - Skye made an angry face. - Oh, if he wasn't at the table so I could punch Chris in the face! - The redhead punched the air, angry. Yoru loved her expression.

- If you want, I help you hit him the next time we meet. - Yoru looked at his almost empty hot chocolate mug, sighing. It was good while it lasted.

- No. What we did was better than that! - Skye turned to Yoru, opening a radiant smile. - Much better. - She laughed alone and Yoru's heart leaped with joy at seeing her smile. – Hear me out. - She patted Yoru on the shoulder, grabbing her mug with both hands. - Where... Oh, yes! We cleaned the barn without complaining, right? And we spent a couple of days not looking to Chris’ face. But, one day, Mery took his cell phone to call Mom and saw his messages with his girlfriend. They were planning to have sex in the barn, in details. - Skye trembled, remembering the messages she read with her younger brothers.

- Oh hell… - Yoru shake his head. – Wouldn’t he pay for a motel? - He finished his hot chocolate, leaving it a little time in his mouth to enjoy the rest of the taste.

- Mate, in a small town, even the asphalt makes gossips. You can't go to a motel like that. - Skye rolled her eyes. - Besides, most teenagers have sex either in their parents' bed or behind the church. The barn was even a welcome innovation, especially if it was clean.

Yoru swallowed his chocolate, compressing his lips.

- It's disgusting.

- Yes, it is. A lot. Focus. - Skye drank a big sip of her chocolate, finishing it. - Luke and Paul went with Dad to take a package to another town and Mom was at Grandma's. - Skye lowered her mug, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. – So, who was in charge?

- The demon brother?

- That's right. - Skye took her mug and Yoru's. She leaned forward, going to put them on a table nearby. Yoru get tense by the sudden movement in the hammock. - It's just, like, we knew all their planning, right? - Skye turned to Yoru and looked the hammock. She took a pillow, hugging it. – So, we made a counter-planning. - The redhead placed the pillow in parallel to the hammock, lying there, with her feet in Yoru's lap. She held out her arms to him, opening and closing her fingers. – Come here.

If Yoru hardly liked to sit in the hammock, imagine moving on it. It was terrible! However, Skye just had to make a sly peck for him moved slowly towards her. The Japanese contained a groan when the hammock threatened to turn upside down as he tried to reach Skye. With a lot of fighting, he came to her, lying next to her, resting his head on her shoulder. He passed his arm around her waist, pulling her close, as if she were all that kept him from falling.

- Hey… - Skye spoke kindly, running her arm under him and stroking his hair. – This way is better, isn’t it?

Yoru meant to say no. He didn't like being on the hammock. However, he loved with all his heart receive a cuddling from Skye. Simply being with her was a reason for happiness. Then he nodded, muttering a "yeah", while enjoying her fingers in his hair.

- Okay... - She smiled again, feeling Yoru's body next to hers, with their legs tangled in a position that was strangely comfortable. She yawned, blinking, with the reasoning suddenly slow. - Where did I stop?

- Your plan to ruin your brother’s night. - Yoru spoke, closing his eyes, listening to Skye intently.

- Yep! - Skye nodded to herself, resuming the story. - Chris bought candy the night before. Lots of candy. And a condom. So, what did we do? We traded his candy in the box for the animal food, and we hid the condoms in the barn. - She laughed slightly. - You had to see his face when you opened the M&M boxes and only saw corn and lentils! - Yoru smiled, imagining the scene. – But the girl was already there. So, there wasn’t time for him to buy anything else. But the idiot was pushy and invented to do something for them to eat. His mistake was not kicking us into our rooms. He made Mery and Diah help him in the kitchen and put me in the living room to have a “girls talk”. - Skye made quotes with her hands, turning her eyes.

- He could have kicked you all into the kitchen. - Yoru thought out loud, raising an eyebrow.

- He was stupid. Then I started talking to the girl and… It was cool to talk with her. But I didn't miss an opportunity to make my brother look bad. He heard when I told her that he still loved Miraculous Ladybug and finally decided to lock us in the room. - Skye thrown her head back. - I mean, literally. Little did he know that Mery stole Paul's lock pick. He kept singing the theme of Mission Impossible for the whole time he broke down the door. - Yoru let out a slight laugh, thinking about the scene. - Then we went down quietly and went into hiding in the barn. They were cuddling in the living room, so it wouldn't take them long to miss the condom and go one way or another to the barn.

- Again. Ewn.

- Yeep. - Skye nodded, looking at Yoru's hair, cuddling him. - All right, they're going to come to the barn. They were lying in the hay in front of Luke's truck, and I was hiding there. When i was about to roll the... - Skye hit one hand on the other several times quickly, looking at Yoru suggestively, making him laugh.

- Libidinous act?

- That's it! - She smiled, playing with his hair again. - I turned on the headlights of the car and blew the horn. That was the sign for Mery and Diah to throw sour milk, old flour and chicken feathers at them. They were looking like some bizarre characters from Sesame Street.

- Oh, no. - Yoru laughed, looking at Skye. – No, man! - He shook his head, laughing.

- For real! - The redhead looked at her beloved, smiling. - They were perfect. I should have taken a camera. - She laughed too, remembering the scene. - Look what happened next. The girl was full of hate for that, right?

- I guess so. - Yoru tried to control his laugh by biting his lower lip.

- She came out of the barn with blood in her eyes. But she smelled like chicken, besides being a stranger. What did our dogs do?

- Oh, no. - Yoru laughed again, putting his hand on his belly that was beginning to hurt by his laugh.

- Chris was still trying to process what the hell had happened, so I had to save her. Poor girl. - Skye gave a mean smile, tilting her head to the side. - Then I felt sorry and helped her clean up. Then Chris showed up out of nowhere trying to fight with me for everything that happened. Do you believe that the girl defended me? Just because I was a decent human being.

- The mastermind of the crime? - Yoru took a deep breath, trying to control his laugh.

- Yep. And you know what else happened? Two days later, she showed up wanting to be with me. - Skye pointed at herself, laughing.

- What the hell? - Yoru turned to Skye, wide-eyed.

- Yeeep! That's the plot twist. She went there to have sex with my brother and two weeks later she was having sex with me. Oh, but Chris got so mad!

Yoru laughed loudly, throwing his head back. He was already crying with laughter, feeling his belly contracted by laughter.

- Grass cutter!

- Hey, siblings share things!

After this Yoru just laughed so hard that he fell face down on the floor, making a loud sound resound and turning a plant pot on his back.

- Oh, damn it, babe! - Skye looked at him, worried. – Are you okay?

Yoru responded by laughing, giving more laughs to both the story and himself. Skye attested that he was fine and started laughing at his face as well.

Yoru's laugh was a little hoarse when controlled, as if it came from the bottom of his throat. But when he laughed, it was taller and more vivacious. He had the kind of laugh that was funnier than the joke itself. He let out snoring and stopping to recover himself while laughing, just to lose the air again laughing more. It was one of the most precious sounds in Skye's world.

- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? - Reyna's voice recovered from the balcony to their left, interrupting her moment of admiration.

- Oh, no! - Skye tried to control her laughter, while Yoru had already given up, dying to laugh.

- I… Can’t… Breath… Icannotbreath! - He spoke among the laughs.

- THERE ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO SLEEP! - Sage's voice came from the right porch.

- STOP IT! - Reyna cursed them in Spanish. If Skye understood anything, she would have been blushing.

The redhead quickly got up from the hammock, going to the balcony, looking at the two in their respective apartments.

- SORRY!

- YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IS IT? - Brimstone screamed from downstairs.

- WE GOT CARRIED AWAY! I AM SORRY! - Skye screamed, laughing lightly. Yoru laughed even more.

- SHUT UP! HIJOS DE LA - And there goes another round of profanity in Spanish.

Skye turned to Yoru, capping his mouth.

- Stop! Stop! Before she shows up with a knife! - Yoru laughed even more, putting his hands on Skye's hands, trying to stop his laugh.

- I'M COMING!

- See? - Skye looked at Yoru desperately, trying to make him stop laughing.

Yoru bit his lower lip, turning red as he tried to control his laught. His body still gave some spasms of fun and he was out of breath. He patted Skye’s hand, indicating to let him go. He took a deep breath, letting out some light laughs.

- BETTER STAY THIS WAY! - Sage screamed.

Skye looked sideways, taking a deep breath.

- Mate, I must watch when I tell you these stories. - She raised an eyebrow, looking fun. - You get uncontrollable.

Yoru nodded, still catching his breath.

- This shit hurts… - He pointed to the vase that had fallen on top of him, spreading dirt across the porch and on himself.

- Poor babyboy. - Skye pecked, clearing Yoru. She helped him sit, running her hand through his shirt, trying to get the remnant dirt off him. - You want a kiss to get better?

- I want! - He turned to her, smiling openly. A true smile that made Skye's heart beat in rhythm of the sambas that Raze put in the cafeteria.

She approached him, kissing him calmly. She let his tongue into her mouth, exploring every bit of it. Even if they were cold, Skye always thought she could melt on those lips. She ran her legs over him, sitting on his lap and passing her arms around his neck. She felt her skin chill when his hands entered her t-shirt, climbing up to her breasts, squeezing them. She groaned between their lips, rolling in his lap.

Strategies... If they kept going, he wouldn't say anything else about it. Skye walked away from him a little, giving him several little kisses.

- Do you want to... Know... The other part... The story? - She threw her head back, looking at him.

No. Again. He wasn't in the mood to hear anything other than Skye moaning his name at the time. But he sighed, nodding.

- Go on. Tell me. - He passed one of his arms around her waist, supporting his body with his free hand on the floor.

Skye smiled, knowing that he was getting impatient to take off her clothes. She could give the excuse that was trying to make him forget the dream in other ways than sex. But she was acting on purpose for all the times he made her beg for him, because Yoru loved to make her beg.

- So... Where...

- You had sex with your brother's girlfriend. - Yoru cut her off, resuming the point where she had stopped.

- Ex-girlfriend. He was in fury. And we fought every day about it. Even on the dinner’s table. - Skye ran her hands over Yoru's shoulders, taking out remnants of dirt. He leaned his head on her shoulder, giving long kisses in her neck. - It's just... My parents didn't know that I am bi... Chris was careful not to make anything explicit, but... Mery ended up open his mouth... - Yoru walked away from Skye, looking closely now. – Hell, they bashed me so hard that day… - She had a light laugh, playing with the collar of Yoru's shirt.

- Hana-chan...

- Like, I knew they wouldn't react very well. I'd already talked to the boys. - She shrugged. - You know who most defended me? Chris. He stared at Dad head-on. It was very brave. - Skye smiled, looking at Yoru. - I could always count on them, you know?

Yoru nodded, looking at Skye, bowing his head to the side.

- Like... I got more angry at my parents afterwards. - She wrinkled her nose, thinking. - They handled it better with time. But when Diah came out of the closet, they didn't put on that whole show. What a horrible house where the woman is beaten, and the man stays in peace.

Yoru gave a side smile, kissing her chin.

- Sexist. - He murmured, biting his lower lip.

- Riiiight? - She spoke, hugging Yoru. - Bloody society. - Skye lowered her voice, with his hands running under her shirt.

>>> Next Act

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ── ��� ── ❖ ─── ✦ ── ❖ ───

+Bônus: Most of this part is based on headcanons but one thing that is a sure is that Skye grown up in a farm. She must have tons of stories like these to tell.

[feralphoenix]

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS: The Mechanics of the Infection

welcome back to feral’s essay tag where the hot takes don’t stop from keep being hot!

this particular meta has a Lot of citations from canon, and my plan is to have them as actual footnotes in the dreamwidth mirror when that goes up (as i always crosspost my meta there in case my layout text is too small for any folks accessing these from computer and not mobile).

CONTENT WARNING FOR TONIGHT’S PROGRAM: This essay contains discussion of body horror, cancer, and many of the darker aspects of Hallownest’s society.

ALSO, AS USUAL: I read Hollow Knight as anti-colonialist fiction and all of my meta approaches the text from that angle. This essay is strongly critical of the Pale King and Hallownest, and affords sympathy to pre-Hallownest societies & native characters, including Radiance. If you come from a Christian cultural background (regardless of whether you currently practice the religion or not), some of the concepts I am going to discuss may be challenging for you. Please be responsible in your choice whether to engage with this content, and also, be respectful here or wherever else you’re discussing this essay. Thanks.

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS: The Mechanics of the Infection

If you’ve ever looked through my Hollow Knight tags, you have probably seen me joke about the Infection like a lot, usually along the lines of Radiance casting Level 9 Inflict Tang on Hallownest, or “(radi voice) the End of EVA will continue until you Let My People Go” or some such. In addition to being some of the most beautiful body horror I’ve yet seen in fiction, its appearance also makes it a veritable meme factory.

It is also something that inspires a lot of very wild theorizing amongst fans, because canon tells us WHY the Infection exists but doesn’t ever directly explain WHAT it is. To name just a few of the guesses I’ve seen, people have posited that it could be some sort of pupa juice, or maybe some type of parasitic fungus.

I have my own guess, though, and it’s based on hints we can find in-game. I would like to share it with the class today, so let’s take a quick look through the sauce, starting with what we already know!

WHY

We learn why the Infection happened from Seer and Moss Prophet, and this is also summed up more directly in Team Cherry’s dev notes attached to Seer.

The Pale King wanted to be the only god of light in the crater,* so he tried to kill Radiance by thralling her children - attracting the moths with his light and making them forget about her,** assimilating them into Hallownest. Radiance survived because some moths still remembered and tried to preserve what they could of their original culture,*** and eventually she attempted to reassert her existence and communicate with the bugs of the crater by speaking to them through their dreams. However, the Pale King realized what was happening and ordered his worshippers to shut her out.****

Radiance did not give up, and continued to broadcast her message through dreams. This unstoppable force VS immovable object conflict could not last forever - something eventually had to give, and what gave was the mortals.***** The Infection was an accident that Radiance did not initially intend, but presumably chose to weaponize after the fact as a way to attempt to pressure TPK into releasing the moths and leaving her alone (or, barring that, a way to thoroughly destroy his kingdom at the very least).

SOURCES:

* “No blazing kin. Only one light shall shine against the dark.” - Lore tablet hidden beside the Pale King’s throne in the White Palace.

** “None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters.” - Seer’s 1200 Essence dialogue.

*** “But the memories of that ancient light still lingered, hush whispers of faith... Until all of Hallownest began to dream of that forgotten light.” - Seer’s 2400 Essence dialogue.

**** “The King and the bugs of hallownest resisted this memory/power and it started to manifest as the infection.” - from Team Cherry’s dev notes attached to Seer.

***** “Light is life, beaming, pure, brilliant. To stifle that light is to suppress nature. Nature suppressed distorts, plagues us.” - Moss Prophet's dialogue.

HOW

Now that we’ve recapped why the Infection exists, let’s examine the process of how the Infection works. We see some examples of this with various characters in-game, and the Hunter also shares his observations of the Infection’s mechanics in his commentary on the Infected Crossroads entries.

Since we’ll be bringing up the Hunter's Journal here, I want to first examine three entries to establish its dual authorship and how trustworthy it is: The Shade’s entry, the Lightseed’s, and Radiance’s.

We know that the bottom section of the Hunter’s Journal is the Hunter’s personal notes on each creature because the game itself tells us so. So who writes the notes on top that give a brief explanation of what each creature is? It’s a common fan theory that Ghost writes these, which I believe is indeed the case.

First let’s look at the Shade, which is automatically unlocked when we receive the Hunter's Journal in-game regardless of whether we have died and fought the Shade or not. Mechanically this is important because if the Shade weren’t unlocked by default it would be impossible to attain the Hunter achievements without dying at least once - this would REALLY suck for anybody who likes to suffer enough to try to complete the journal in Steel Soul mode.

The Shade’s entry reads:

Echo of a previous life. Defeat it to retake its power and become whole.

-

Each of us leaves an imprint of something when we die. A stain on the world. I don’t know how much longer this kingdom can bear the weight of so many past lives...

Notice that the top text knows exactly what the Shade is and how it works. In story terms, this would imply that Ghost has died and come back enough pre-game to understand the mechanics of how their revivals work.

The Lightseed’s entry reads:

A single-celled organism, completely infected. Scurries about simple-mindedly.

-

Strange air has been seeping down from above for years. Some of the air became liquid, and some of that liquid became flesh, and some of that flesh came to life. I don’t know what to make of it.

In this entry, the top text assumes that Lightseeds are a Lifeseed-like creature that has been infected, and the Hunter’s notes reveal that this is incorrect and the Lightseeds were actually born from the Infection itself. From this we learn that the top text isn’t omniscient and can be mistaken: It’s written from a limited perspective.

And here’s Radi’s entry:

The light,* forgotten.

-

The plague, the infection, the madness that haunts the corpses of Hallownest... the light that screams out from the eyes of this dead Kingdom. What is the source? I suppose mere mortals like myself will never understand.

Here, the top text has information that the Hunter doesn’t, and which only a handful of bugs are privy to anymore.

From these three examples, I believe it is safe to say that Ghost is in fact the author of the journal entries’ top segments.

It’s important to remember that the observations these characters make can be not wholly correct, and I’ll bring that up when I believe it to be relevant, but for now let’s build a picture of how a case of the Infection generally progresses by looking at the Hunter’s commentary on Infected Crossroads enemies, and at a handful of characters whose Infection we directly observe: Bretta, Sly, Myla, and Moss Prophet.

The Hunter describes the broad arc of Infection progression in the Violent Husk's entry: “First [the bugs of Hallownest] fell into deep slumber, then they awoke with broken minds, and then their bodies started to deform...”

The two NPCs who we can save from becoming Infected, Bretta and Sly, are initially found emitting orange fog and mumbling to themselves. In Bretta’s case, when listened to, she initially talks about being left behind and forgotten** as she assumes that all people will treat her this way even though she craves affection and attention; Dream Nailed either before or after being listened to, she mentions a “shining figure”.***

Meanwhile, Sly speaks about his pupil Oro and someone named Esmy, and when his symptoms subside he identifies that he was led to the Crossroads village ruins by a dream.****

Listening to Bretta and Sly completely brings them back to reality, after which they leave the underground area entirely to return to Dirtmouth. However, when the player encounters Myla after defeating Soul Master and obtaining Descending Dive, listening to her does not cause any change in her condition despite that she is not yet hostile.

During these encounters, Bretta is surrounded by orange fog, Sly is surrounded by orange fog and his eyes have also begun to turn orange, and Myla's eyes are glowing but there is no fog around her. So, we can deduce that for as long as the orange fog is present, a bug may still be awoken and cured (Bretta and Sly both show no signs of relapse over the course of the game), but once the fog disappears the bug can no longer be saved by external means.

The "deformation" that the Hunter mentions in the Violent Husk entry refers to the large blobs of Infection that develop on the bodies of creatures that have been infected for a long period of time. We observe these upon the Infected Crossroads enemies, as well as on Hollow and the Moss Prophet. We also see that these Infection tumors can eventually kill bugs once they grow too large and impede bodily functions, just like real cancer: The Moss Prophet and Mossy Vagabonds are all discovered in this state after the Crossroads become infected, as are the Husk Guards in the Crossroads.

So, the progression we can see here is that bugs become infected through their dreams, and while they can initially be woken, if left alone they will fall into too deep a sleep to wake up. Some time after this they will start to move around again but will be hostile to any creatures that are not infected. And, if left in this state for a very long period of time, they will develop tumorous growths which are potentially fatal.

Potentially fatal. This is an interesting contradiction to a basic assumption that most players - and even Ghost and the Hunter - seem to hold about the Infection: That is, that the Infection functions like a pop-culture zombie plague, and infected creatures are all undead (reanimated dead things that can't be killed); thus that the enemies that respawn after resting or going offscreen are the same ones that Ghost just murdered, and have simply been reanimated by the Infection once again.

But infected creatures can die of the Infection. What’s more, bosses and unique instances of generic enemies (such as Myla and the Moss Knight at the pier of Unn’s lake) do not respawn once killed. And it’s definitely not that Ghost killed them that counts: Traitor Lord dies whether Ghost fights him solo or whether Cloth is brought along, in which case she always gets the final blow. This creates the argument that the respawning generics are NOT in fact the same individuals reanimated over and over, but different individuals of the same enemy class, and that their different respawn rates speak to how plentiful those creatures are - small animals respawning faster because a new one will arrive in the recently killed one’s territory sooner, for instance.

Ghost and the Hunter both seem to assume that infected enemies are all undead - many creatures are identified as “husks” or “the remains of [whatever specific bug]” in the Hunter's Journal. But we’ve already established that sometimes Ghost and the Hunter are wrong.

So, if infected creatures aren’t undead, then what are they?

SOURCES:

* I find it a very interesting tidbit of characterization for Ghost that they refer to Radiance as the Light, as native bugs do, rather than calling her the Old Light, as Hallownest bugs did. This has some fascinating implications for where Ghost feels their allegiances to be, but that's neither here nor there right now lol.

** “Ohhh... please... don’t leave me behind! You... forgot about me...? I knew you would... everyone always forgets about me...” - Bretta’s dialogue, Fungal Wastes encounter

*** “...Shining figure...So bright...” - Bretta’s Dream Nail dialogue, Fungal Wastes encounter

**** “...ugghh, Oro you oaf.... You wield your nail... like a club... ...Esmy... how much deeper do we have to go... Oh! What?! Who are you?! ...I see. This old village. What a strange dream, to have led me down here! If you hadn’t found me, I don’t think I would’ve ever woken.” - Sly’s dialogue, Crossroads village encounter

WHAT

In a move very on-brand for Hollow Knight, there’s actually a line from Seer that gives the whole game away - and I mean this incredibly literally, she declares her loyalty to Radiance and says Fuck Hallownest and also hints at what she hopes for from Ghost all in two breaths!! - except that most players are never going to see this line because Seer only says this if you screw up platforming in the Forgotten Dream and yeet yourself off a platform before picking up the Dream Nail.

I do not doubt that I could wring a whole essay out of this one line by itself (and Seer deserves an essay from me so maybe I will), but today the part we’re concerned with is the third line of this dialogue, i.e. how she describes the Dream Nail to Ghost: “The power to wake this world from its slumber[.]”

Its slumber.

The Infection doesn’t only spread through dreams. It is a dream.

To put it in a more meta/video game mechanics sort of way, the Infection is a status ailment. Sleep exists as a common status ailment in RPGs, strategy games, and even some adventure games and platformers. Usually the status ailment of sleep is a mild nuisance that wears off after time, when a character is struck, or if the requisite curative is used; in comparison the Infection is Sleep But Bass Boosted. Appropriate, for a glorified status ailment that’s inflicted by the literal actual god of dreams.

The Infection can only be cured in the very early stages. Once an infected creature has fallen into a coma, there’s no longer any hope of a third party breaking the curse... and also, infected creatures sleepwalk. Violently.

This may also provide an explanation for why mummified bugs in the catacombs have been infected, too: If they were freshly dead and their lingering spirit was still attached enough to their corpses, and that lingering spirit retained enough of a mind to dream...

Aside from those mummified bugs, though, I believe it likely that most if not all of the infected enemies in-game are very, very much alive.

Beyond all the dialogue and lore crumbs pointing to the Infection simply being a cursed sleep, this explanation makes the most sense when thinking about Radiance as a character. She is the literal embodiment of dreams as well as the sun, so inflicting eternal slumber with bonus malignant sleepwalking is a natural extension of her power and a way to use it offensively without being directly violent.

(I've written about this at length elsewhere, but signs point to Radiance having been a pacifist prior to the Pale King’s invasion. Short version: The Moth Tribe were pacifists and Radiance was the center of their culture so it would be odd if she were an exception; she is incapable of inflicting any physical harm whatsoever in a game where lack of contact damage from an active enemy indicates helplessness and such enemies always flee from Ghost unless they have a tool they can use to fight with; her behavior in her boss battles indicates a lack of combat experience, and her nail-generating spells seem to be based on Hollow’s abilities. Real-life adult moths cannot fight - they defend themselves with flight, camouflage, mimicry, and I’m Poisonous So Fuck Off coloring.)

Now, I don’t want to downplay the harm the Infection causes - it doesn’t have to turn bugs into literal undead zombies to be devastating. What we can glean of Hallownest’s ruins suggests that as a state it was heavily dependent on labor to run its industry, so incapacitating the laborers would have turned the whole country on its head, especially because those laborers cannot be woken. The Infection also created an intense atmosphere of terror throughout Hallownest as bugs tried to discover ways to cure it or at least protect themselves. And as the Hunter observes,* because of how the Infection is caused, the harder you try to block Radiance out, the worse the Infection will get.

(A sidebar: Interestingly, the Infection's progress seems to be very slow when a creature willingly accepts it; Moss Prophet has Infection tumors when met but doesn’t die of them until the Crossroads is infected, though many Crossroads bugs are found dead of tumors immediately. Traitor Lord and his followers opted in to the Infection long ago, but Traitor Lord is still at the “orange fog” stage and could theoretically be cured, if he wanted to be. Both Traitor Lord and Moss Prophet are still completely lucid, too.)

Radiance may not have committed any direct violence against Hallownest, but the Infection does incite violence: infected creatures become hostile to and will attack the uninfected. And as we’ve discussed, the Infection itself can become fatal once it’s progressed far enough for tumorous growths to form.

A god smiting the shit out of her people’s oppressors by nonviolently but thoroughly disrupting their kingdom, Especially if that kingdom is a genocidal colonialist slave state,** as a Let My People Go And Leave Me Alone :) ultimatum is not unreasonable. (And Moss Prophet tells us point-blank that literally just listening to Radiance in the first place would have prevented the Infection before it began!) But despite that Hallownest as an institution is unambiguously awful, Hallownest bugs victimized by their own state (such as the maggot slaves and other menial workers) probably saw much less benefit from Hallownest’s genocides than the rich and nobility, and likely deserved the smiting way less than said rich and nobility.

Meanwhile Hallownest’s neighbors - all native nations who are just as much victims of TPK’s bullshit as the Moth Tribe - did not deserve to get caught up in the smiting at all.

Lateral harm in Hollow Knight is another topic that deserves its own essay - and more than that, lots of in-depth conversation! - but, again, that’s not the topic we want to focus on today. I do want to make it clear, though, that infected creatures being alive and theoretically wakeable if the curse should end doesn’t suddenly mean the Infection was actually no big deal. If you want your jimmies rustled, try Dream Nailing enemies that pull from the generic Dream Nail dialogue pool: They are on some level aware that they’re dreaming and can’t wake.***

Clues that the Infection is literally a dream are littered all over the game, from Elderbug’s initial dialogue**** to the name of ending 3, Dream No More - not only named that because that’s the ending where Ghost sacrifices Radiance’s life as well as their own to end Hollow’s suffering rather than only sacrificing their freedom.

Some of what Bardoon and Moss Prophet have to say about the Infection is suggestive of the nature of this dream, though. Moss Prophet appeals to their audience to find unity through the Infection,***** and Bardoon also remarks on this, though he cautions that this comes at the cost of being reduced to instinct.****** Dreaming does tend to come hand in hand with lack of inhibition and suggestibility, but I’m more interested in what Moss Prophet and Bardoon mean by unity, since infected creatures’ thoughts are different depending on what they are and what they were already doing while awake.

There's less specific hard evidence for this aside from how we can observe that Infection blobs are connected to Radiance, transmitting her heartbeat and birthing the Lightseeds, her unintended creations. But given that those blobs do originate from Infection fluid according to the Hunter... Radiance is not just the embodiment of dreams but the heart of THE Dream. So could the Infection be a forcible pseudo-immersion into that capital-D Dream, the Dream Realm itself?

Whether my hunch here is right or not, I can’t in good faith end this essay without bringing all y’all’s attention to absolutely my favorite bit of The Infection Is A Dream foreshadowing: The way multiple parties mention the fact that the Infection smells and tastes sweet.*******

You know... it’s sweet... it’s a sweet dream... get it.........

And now that you can no longer unsee that brilliantly awful pun, I think I'll see myself out!

SOURCES:

* “The infection that swept through Hallownest so long ago... they say that the harder you struggled against it, the more it consumed you.” - Hunter’s commentary, Slobbering Husk Hunter’s Journal entry.

** I’m referring, of course, to the maggots. See: “Weakest members of the kingdom of Hallownest. Generally looked down upon and forced to do menial labour.” (Ghost’s commentary) and “If they try to bargain for their life, just ignore them. They have nothing to offer.” (Hunter’s commentary) from the Maggot Hunter's Journal entry as well as False Knight/Failed Champion’s backstory. Remember also that maggots are the larval form of flies like Sly (you’ll see the resemblance if you compare Sly’s features to the maggot siblings’), meaning Hallownest employs child slavery. In more cheerful news Sly’s backstory must be absolutely goddamn wild.

*** “I’m not...Dead..” “Am I...Sleeping?” “I can’t....Wake up...” - Dream Nail dialogue from generic Hallownest bugs (Wandering Husk, Leaping Husk, Horned Husk, Husk Bully, Husk Warrior) and from God Tamer for some reason

**** “Perhaps dreams aren't such great things after all...” - Elderbug’s initial dialogue

***** “Embrace light! Achieve union!” - Moss Prophet’s dialogue

****** “Theirs is a different kind of unity. Rejection of the Wyrm’s attempt at order. I resist the light’s allure. Union it may offer, but also a mind bereft of thought... To instinct alone a bug is reduced...Hrrm...” - Bardoon’s dialogue (Listen four times, not counting other dialogue flags)

******* “A thick orange mist fills these walking corpses. It has a sweet, sickly taste to it. I find it foul. After you kill these creatures, I suggest you do not eat them.” - Hunter’s commentary, Husk Bully Hunter’s Journal entry, just for one example.

[hintsofhoney]

If You Were Mine: Part Three

Pairing(s): Dom!Sam Winchester x F!Reader

Summary:  You and Sam finally act on all those pent up sexual feelings that the two of you have been having for each-other.

Tags: 18+, dom/sub dynamic, swearing, punishment, spanking, oral (female receiving), fingering, sir kink, rough sex

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: I posted this back in June, but I’m currently going back through my works and cleaning them up a little so they’re all formatted the same. I couldn’t edit this one because I had originally posted it from the Tumblr app, and Tumblr is stupid and won’t let me edit it from my laptop because of that. Also this little series was entirely inspired by that one scene in 50 Shades where Christian is like, “If you were mine, you wouldn’t be able to walk for a week”, or something like that. Enjoy (if it’s your first time coming across it lol)!

You can also read me on Ao3!

↤ PART TWO

SAM WINCHESTER MASTERLIST | SUPERNATURAL MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

The second the words left your mouth, Sam’s lips crashed into yours. Time seemed to stop while at the same time your heart pounded faster in your chest. Sam wrapped his arms around you, deepening the kiss. You didn’t want it to end, you kissed him back hungrily, letting him know just how badly you wanted him with your lips alone. Sam spun you around suddenly, pushing the front of your body up against the door. The absence of his lips on yours made you whimper. Sam leaned in, his stubble lightly scratching your cheek.

“Green means you’re good, yellow means you’re reaching your limit, red means stop, understand?” Sam breathed. You nodded; your forehead still pressed up against the door. “Use your words,” Sam whispered.

“Yes, I understand,” you whimpered. You felt your knees grow weak as you said the words; you’ve had kinky sex before but damn, this was something different. The way Sam asserted his dominance over you let you know that this wasn’t just a persona he put on in the bedroom; this was him in most aspects of his life. Sam needed to take care of people; he took care of Dean for most of his life and the other night, he took care of you. And now, he was going to hold you accountable for your stupid decisions, for putting yourself in danger, and he was going to do it because he cared about you. You let yourself submit to Sam completely, letting go of every worry you had in your head. Sam was going to take care of you, he was going to love you, he was going to punish you and fuck you in all the ways that you deserved. All you had to focus on was what you were feeling, the heat between your legs, the knot in your stomach, Sam’s bulge against your backside, his soft lips on your neck, sucking bruises into your skin. You have never wanted someone so bad. You have never needed someone so bad. Sam grabbed your wrist and led you over to the bed, pushing down on your upper back to bend you over. Your forearms rested on the mattress while your feet remained planted firmly on the cement floor. You were breathing heavily, anticipating what would come next as Sam ran his hands all over your body. You could tell that he’d been wanting to do this for quite some time. You felt Sam lean over you, the bulge underneath his jeans pressing up against your sweet spot, forcing you to let out a small moan. Sam brought his face close to yours again; you could feel his breath on your ear.

“You’re so fucking beautiful. I’ve been wanting to do this for so fucking long, Y/N,” Sam breathed. A shiver ran through your body as his hot breath tickled your neck. Sam stood up straight and ran his hands down your sides, grabbing the hem of your jean shorts and pulling them down in one swift motion. Sam gently tapped your ankle with his foot, signaling for you to step out of your shorts and spread your legs. You obeyed. You heard Sam take a few steps back and smirk, admiring the view of you bent over his bed, ready for whatever it is that he had coming for you. He walked over to you, leaning over you once more. His hands rested on the mattress on either side of you, holding him up. His body was inches away from yours, you could feel it, but Sam wasn’t making any effort to touch you. He was just there, hovering over you, letting the need you had for him to do something to you build. “Have you ever been punished before?” He asked, his voice low and gruff. You shook your head. Sam grabbed your hair gently and turned your head sideways so you could see his face out of the corner of your eye. “I thought I told you to use your words?”

“No, sir,” you said quietly. You’re not sure how you knew how to address him, but it felt natural in the moment. It almost felt as though, with the amount of dominance he was asserting over you, it would have been disrespectful to address him as anything else. Sam smirked and let go of your hair.

“You learn fast,” he said, as he grabbed the hem of your tank top and pulled it up over your head. “And you got all dressed up for me? You’re something else, Y/N,” Sam praised, as he noticed your matching bra and thong. The throbbing in between your legs intensified as Sam said these words, you were surprised by how much of an effect they had on you. Sam continued hovering over you, letting you feel his presence but not his touch. “Since it’s your first time, I’ll give you a choice. I can spank this pretty little ass of yours,” Sam began, moving his hand to touch one of our cheeks, making you flinch a little, “or I can deny this pussy what it so clearly wants, over and over again, until I give it permission to cum,” he continued, moving his hand from your ass to your sweet spot, applying pressure on your clit over your thong. You moaned at the contact, and decided right then that a spanking sounded easier to manage than being denied over and over again. “What’s it gonna be?” Sam asked, beginning to slowly rub your clit over your thong with his thumb.

“Spank me, sir,” you answered shakily; you had truly never been more turned on. Sam stood up straight and moved to stand at your side. He rested one of his hands on your ass, the other hand wrapped around your hip, keeping you in place.

“Hopefully after this you won’t go making stupid decisions that put you in danger. You remember your colors?” Sam asked sternly, rubbing your ass. Your stomach churned in anticipation.

“Yes, sir,” you said, and the first smack came down on your ass. You hissed at the contact. It stung, but you liked it. The pain mixed with your need for Sam to touch you only made you wetter. Your senses were heightened, you felt as though you were feeling everything at once. Sam let down another smack on your ass, earning a small yelp from you, while at the same time you felt a dampness build up between your legs. You stretched your arms out in front of you, clinging to the sheets. The shift in the height of your chest pushed your ass up, and you hoped that Sam would take it as a plea for more. The speed at which he began to rain swats down on your ass told you that he did. You felt the heat coming off of your ass cheeks, which only amplified the heat you were feeling at your center. Sam smacked your ass twice more, the hardest ones yet. You whimpered a little and knew you could take more, but at the same time you wanted Sam to move on to other parts of you so badly. Sam rubbed your ass gently, his hands that were usually so rough felt so smooth. You heard him move from beside you to stand behind you, and then he took your thong off in one swift motion, signaling for you to step out of it as he did with your shorts. You felt your clit pound as you spread your legs even wider, giving Sam a full view of your dripping center. You heard him let out a quiet moan at the sight, and you smiled into the sheets as you thought about all the things you could do to him to make him moan some more. You felt Sam kneel behind you and grab the backs of your thighs, his face inches away from the spot where you needed to feel him so badly.

“So wet for me already?” Sam asked with a small chuckle, his breath cool on your sweet spot, making you inhale sharply. “You want me to touch you so bad, don’t you?”

“Yes, please, sir. Fuck. Please touch me,” you begged as you tried to wiggle your ass closer to his face. Sam gripped your thighs firmly, keeping you from moving. You were breathing heavily, impatiently waiting for Sam to fulfill your request. The waiting was more agonizing than anything else for you. You assumed that Sam knew this, and therefore was very much enjoying making you wait. Sam smirked at the sound of you begging and leaned his head in closer to your sweet spot, finally dragging his tongue between your folds and stopping to lightly suck on the bundle of nerves at the center. You moaned so loudly that it could have passed as a scream. Sam continued to work his magic with his tongue, licking, sucking, flicking. It was a euphoric feeling, and you never wanted it to end. Sam slid two of his fingers inside you easily, your juices coating pretty much everything at this point. He continued with his tongue, as he pumped his fingers in and out, curling them at just the right moment so they would hit your g spot every time. You were moaning his name, rocking your hips back into his fingers, almost on the edge of coming undone. “Fuck, that feels so good!” You screamed, as you felt yourself beginning to reach your climax, tensing around Sam’s fingers.

“Cum for me,” he commanded, the vibrations from his voice tickled your clit and sent you over the edge. Your entire body tensed and shivered as you rode out your orgasm, screaming Sam’s name. Sam gave you almost no time to recover before he pulled his fingers out of you and stood you up, taking your bra off and turning you around. Sam pushed you back down on the bed and you watched him as he pulled his shirt off over his head. You were still recovering from your previous orgasm but the sight of him shirtless already made you want to cum again. Sam took off his jeans and boxers in one swift motion, his cock springing out of them. Your eyes widened as you took in the size of it. It was definitely the biggest you’d ever seen. He climbed on top of you and kissed you hungrily. His mouth moved from your lips down to your nipples, making you moan again. He sucked on one while he pinched the other between his thumb and index finger, massaging it lightly. You bucked your hips up, your silent way of begging him to fuck you. He pushed your hips back down with his free hand. “So impatient,” he teased, as he moved to suck on your other nipple. Sam’s cock was resting between your legs, right under your belly button. It took everything you had in you to not buck your hips up again in attempt to feel the base of his cock rub up against your clit. You let out a moan as you thought about how badly you wanted Sam inside of you. Sam leaned in next to your ear, and began slowly moving his hips, the bottom of his cock rubbing along your lower abdomen. “You want me to fuck you? Go ahead and beg for it. You had no problem doing it over the phone,” Sam growled, continuing his motions.

“Please fuck me, sir. Please!” You moaned, focused on Sam’s cock.

“That’s not a beg. I want the whole fucking bunker to hear how badly you want this cock inside of you,” Sam hissed. Sam sat up a little and took his cock in one hand, placing it directly on your clit and rubbing it over the bundle of nerves. You couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“FUCK, SAM, PLEASE! PLEASE FUCK ME,” you screamed. Finally, Sam rammed his cock into you, giving you no time to adjust to his size. He grabbed your legs and placed them over his shoulders, his head poking out from between your calves. Sam’s cock hit the back of your walls and your moans turned to screams. He was fucking you hard and had no intention of slowing down anytime soon. You knew he was going to keep his promise of making you unable to walk properly for a week. You looked up at him, his face was covered in sweat and glistening with your juices. He was grunting as he thrusted into you, the look on his face filled with determination and concentration. Sam let go of your legs and before you could process what was happening you had been flipped over onto your hands and knees, somehow Sam’s cock never left the inside of you. Sam thrusted into you harder as he pushed your upper back down to the mattress, grabbing your arms and holding them behind you. The grunts and pants and moans and screams that filled the room were animalistic. You had never been fucked like this before. Sam smacked your ass with his free hand hard, the stinging pain reminding you of your punishment from earlier. You felt a familiar heat rise up in between your legs again and you knew you were close to coming a second time. Sam quickened his pace when he felt you tense up around his cock, and a few more thrusts was all it took to have you come undone again. You were a trembling mess as Sam kept fucking you, and as soon as you rode out your orgasm you felt Sam’s cock twitch, filling you with his warm cum moments later. Sam collapsed on top of you, his cock still inside, and the two of you caught your breath before either of you said anything.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for so damn long,” Sam finally breathed, slowly pulling out of you and rolling over so he was lying next to you on his back. He looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes.

“Well, I’m sure as hell not gonna be able to walk properly for a week,” you said with a smile.

“Mission accomplished, then,” Sam chuckled, cupping your face with his hand. “You’re so beautiful, you know. Really. I’ve thought that ever since I saw you for the first time.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled. “Whatever,” you laughed softly; you were never good at taking compliments.

“I’m serious, Y/N. I’m just… I’m really happy that you’re finally mine,” he said as he leaned over and kissed your forehead. You smiled softly at him.

“Yeah… me too. So, are you going to fuck me that hard for all the bad decisions I’ve made within the past six months of us knowing each other?” You teased.

“How else will you learn?” Sam teased back. You chuckled.

“Well, I’m gonna shower… wanna join?” You asked, as you slowly attempted to get up from the bed.

“If I ever say no to that question,” Sam said, “you know where the guns are. Shoot me.”

[gpsoftun]

It's no secret that x-men apocalypse was- in simple terms- a hot mess. Charles and Raven are still estranged for absolutely no reason, Erik is living as a hypocritical coward and has such a predictable arc that it's insulting to the audience, the senseless killing off of Alex, Erik's continued abuse of Charles and sickening ease of which he's forgiven for it, undeserved hero worshipping of Raven, Apocalypse being the most one-dimensional villain since 1960s cartoons, a group of novice mutant children defeating said villain before dinnertime, Jubilee being highlighted in promos only for her to be discarded in favor of a bland Storm and wet rag Jean, and all of that's just off the top of my head.

However, despite it's many, many, many flaws, it got right some things that dofp screwed up. It has an upbeat tone with bright coloring that suits the excellent 80s. Charles is as happy, vibrant, and thriving as his school. He's fully embraced being a mutant elder and father figure. The warm reunion between him and Alex was something to treasure after dofp ruined all the relationships established in FC. While Jean is still played by a poor actress, xma heals hers and Charles' bond, redeeming herself from her vile actions in the last stand. Notably, it's the only time Charles gets a more positive ending than Erik. The metal moron lost his family due to his own actions and admitted what a treacherous snake he is (not nearly enough to make up for Alex's death but still). For a bit of unexpected poetic justice, Erik loses out on having a relationship with his last living child. Peter chose the Professor as his mentor the way Raven abandoned Charles for Erik. Better yet, Charles did not have to groom Peter like Erik did to Raven. Charles' sincere paternal kindness simply made a significant impact on Peter. In the end, Charles even gets his sister back while Erik, once again, walked out on his alleged loved ones. Likely to track down, impregnate, and ruin the life of another female homo sapien.

Unfortunately, Simon Kinberg went out of his way to destroy all of xma's positive aspects. After the implication that Charles and Raven would repair their sibling relationship along with the X-Men, the stupid phoenix movie could hardly wait ten minutes to make Raven a walking contradiction. She spent every scene venomously criticizing her brother, pissy that he's 'endangering' the very 'kids' SHE insisted he militarize. Jean regressed into being a demonic omen child again, betrayed her team, killed and maimed people, got talked into joining a cult in five seconds, and single-handedly placed mutants back on government radar entirely because she couldn't take one minute to have an actual conversation with the man who raised and gave the little manslaughter menace everything! Raven went from being the smiling sweet sister many felt for in FC to an irrational shrew that made people cheer when she died. After 30+ years as colleagues and best friends, Hank not only threw away their relationship but betrayed Charles to flippin Erik! Hank was the ONLY one to consistently hold the moron of magnetism accountable for his evil actions then abruptly teams up with him to murder one of his students?! Erik, put simply, was hypocritical garbage soup.

To cement the film's miserably depressing tone, they extracted every ounce of the levity by side-lining fan favorite and Charles Xavier Loyalist Peter and swapped gentle Christian Kurt for violent sociopath Kurt. To top it all off, they tried to sell stripping Charles of EVERYthing and forcing him to be dependent on his twisted abuser as a happy ending. And slash fans actually bought that bs. In a world where the consensual relationships found in Twilight and 50 Shades are lambasted as toxic waste, slash fans *bought* that bs. Huh, guess those other franchises should have hired actors with more beauty and less hetero cooties.

Yeah, I've heard all the excuses. The movie was originally supposed to be a two-parter, Captain Marvel ruined the ending, Disney was diabolical, blah, blah, bull! A shorter running time is NO excuse for the piss poor product that is dark phoenix. We are talking about a 20-year-old cinematic universe, years of fan grievances to consider, mostly capable actors, a massive film budget, supposed Hollywood professionals behind the wheel, and they STILL wrecked the brand new Ferrari ten seconds after being gifted with it. This absurdly stupid phoenix movie isn't fit to stand alongside the most mediocre fanfic written during a cocaine binge.

At least xma had a family theme going on, which is why it ends with Erik and the X-Men on relatively amicable terms. What was the point of the stupid phoenix movie? What was the message? The crew claimed it addressed mental health issues. So, yet another film that depicts the mentally ill as too dangerous and unstable to live among the human race. Or was it going for asinine dofp logic? Be a loving, protective brother and you'll wind up with a homicidal sister? Be a loving, protective father figure and you'll wind up with a homicidal foster demon? Truly inspirational, oh prolific POS writers.

The worst part of it is that NONE of this was necessary. Xma already offered a mostly sufficient wrap-up fot the First Class cast. But that's the problem, isn't it? Even the smallest flicker of happiness for Charles is forbidden according to Simon Kinberg. He used this movie as a vehicle to assassinate Charles, completely indifferent to any casualties along the way. Kinberg claimed he wanted to shine a light on Charles 'ego' and 'hubris' but only wound up projecting his own.

Now, time for continued re-watch of the 90s series to cleanse my X-Kid spirit.

[thunderon]

O knowledgeable one, as someone who isn't Christian and is not at all interested in God and has zero understanding of biblical references why is the name Wake significant?

*looks around* who, ME??? i don't know about "knowledgeable" but i do have fifteen years of bible school under my belt and dated a catholic girl for like 3 years so i'll give it a go. im hardly the first person to do analysis on wake's name, but i have yet to see someone specifically talk about “wake” and “the sleeper” and all the biblical implications behind it so i guess i'll do it. i personally made a few extraneous connections that i haven’t seen examined anywhere so im going to hit on those right now. this isn’t so much a theory post as it is filling you in on some background of specifically the biblical significance of wake’s name.

buckle up anon because you are about to see the result of what happens when you ask a lesbian who was put through 15 years of church about the Bible.

  first things first. 

as it’s been previously pointed out: Awake These Valiant Dead is a Shakespeare reference from Henry V, but that’s only one line. i think people are missing the biblical reference from Henry V.you can read the full page here if you are so inclined (x)

but before line 138, where Wake's name is from, we get this excerpt starting on line 121:

“For in the Book of Numbers is it writ:

“When the man dies, let the inheritance

Descend unto the daughter.” 

Gracious lord,

Stand for your own, unwind your bloody flag,

Look back into your mighty ancestors.

Go, my dread lord, to your great-grandsire’s tomb”

this has some major implications, so let's unpack it.

as a non-christian, you are probably asking: what is up with the Book of Numbers and why do you think it's important?

basically, the Israelites were held as slaves in Egypt and were liberated by this guy named Moses.  Moses is tasked with taking the Israelites to the Promised Land (which is basically a paradise where God said the Israelites can go and live). the book of numbers is recounting this journey to the Promise Land. in the bible, the Israelites find the Promised Land, which is called Canaan (hmmm where have we heard that name before?).  the Israelites send 12 spies to scout the land and the spies come back and report that it’s “overflowing with milk and honey” (i bet you’ve probably heard that phrase) but there’s also these giants living there. the Israelites get too scared to take the land, which pisses off God and he goes “fine. y’all can die in the wilderness then. this land will be for your next generation since u guys wanna pussy out”. okay that’s not verbatim but it’s the gist. the book of numbers eventually ends with the Israelites needing the cross the Jordan River and the Promised Land is left for the next generation to inherit. obviously muir draws on these aspects from canaan house and the river in her books. now back to the quote  i pulled from Henry V and Wake's name:

“For in the Book of Numbers is it writ:

“When the man dies, let the inheritance Descend unto the daughter.”

this i think the daughter is referencing gideon (the daughter of both God and Wake). as to what exactly her “inheritance” is... i think we’ll have to see. but the closing line:

“Go, my dread lord, to your great-grandsire’s tomb”

well, all im saying is that tombs have kinda been a bit of a big deal with these books.

side detour (im going somewhere with this so bear with me)the book of Numbers immediately followed by the book of Deuteronomy. now why is that relevant? Deuteronomy and my gal, Judith Deuteros.

The book of Deuteronomy is basically a shit ton of laws for Christians. which Judith is the exact personification of. she literally spends all of her appearances in gideon the ninth arguing for order, the following of Imperial Law, etc etc. now in the book of Dueteronomy, an interesting order is given. starting in Deuteronomy 12:29, the worship of Canaanite gods is forbidden and the order is given to destroy their altars and to execute the Canaanites living in Canaan. this parallels Judith in Canaan House killing teacher and wrecking the place. i think Muir foreshadows that Judith will play a pivotal role in AtN. in the bible, there is actually a woman named judith, who i think is the namesake of our judith. the actual Biblical Judith  kills an invading commander via beheading him. originally i assumed this was meant to be Teacher, but from Judith’s defiance of BoE in AtN, im not so sure. and at the end of AtN, Marta says “she’ll give them hell” which i think really means something. but i could go on about that but i’ll stop here.

now back to your original question about wake. an interesting additional name for wake that i think carries additional implications is when ortus dubs her “the sleeper”. biblically, the relevant quote is Ephesians 5:14:

“Awake, sleeper,

And arise from the dead.”

this is just so in your face ya know? commander awake, the sleeper, rising from the dead. im sure you get where im going with that. now. with that being said i’ll talk a little about the non-biblical stuff. i was a massive Edgar Allen Poe fan growing up and so i immediately picked up on Muir's references to Annabel Lee, The Sleeper, etc in HtN. the closing lines from The Sleeper are as follows:

“Some sepulchre, remote, alone,

 Against whose portals she hath thrown, 

In childhood, many an idle stone— 

Some tomb from out whose sounding door 

She ne’er shall force an echo more, 

Thrilling to think, poor child of sin!

 It was the dead who groaned within.”

now. that is the second quote about wake that references a tomb and now we have the mention of a sepulchre. THAT has some motherfucking implications. especially because in the poem “Annabel Lee” she's famously said of having a “sepulchre by the sea”. John refers to Alecto as Annabel Lee and harrow describes the tomb on the ninth as follows

“Beyond the doors there’s just the rock,” she said. “The rock and the tomb surrounded by water...The water’s salt, and it’s deep, and it moves with a tide that shouldn’t exist. The sepulchre itself is small, and the tomb...”

again. IMPLICATIONS. i know there’s also the argument that this is all a decoy and Anastasia is the body on the first etc etc. i still don’t know what to think. these are just all pieces of a puzzle ive been holding onto and think are neat so im sharing them with you. i know this is just a hot mess of everything but that’s how i operate sorry. feel free to ask more questions and i would LOVE to answer anything for you :)

[ifyouseekay468]

what do YOU personally think the teenagers (mcr) lyrics are about my friend ? like i keep thinking about them but im not sure im going somewhere

okay, ive answered this ask twice on mobile and each time my phone deleted it, so here I go, the FINAL version of this post

It's been a hot minute since I listened to teenagers so I decided to do a quick run-through of the lyrics, and while Gerard&Co were raised catholic the lyrics seem to REEK of protestant trauma, so that's what I'll be going off of, but I'm pretty sure the two denominations overlap here. The first verse is about kids in youth group, Christian GirlsTM especially, who are put there to pressure you into being "normal" into "cleaning you up with the lies in the book" (bible), although the pastor is the one giving the teaching THESE are the people who will get you to BELIEVE, who will get you to lie to yourself, who will get you to church camps that on some level utilize brainwashing techniques, and will DESTROY you with the idea that you're "Just one of them, and just need to change everything about yourself and fake your way through every last sermon to be just a part of the gang",

The part about sleeping with a gun and keeping an eye on you is about two things: one, about the idea that God can see all your thoughts, that THINKING about "sin" (ie; fantasizing about sex) is as bad as COMMITTING sin (which is fucked up entirely on its own because fantasy is SO FUCKING DIFFERENT FROM REALITY and that is a CRUCIAL aspect of sexual expression in order to safely engage in sex), AND the fact that these kids will pretend to be your friend, will prod you into doing things with them, into telling them things about yourself all the while making you feel like "part of the group" when really they're just blabbing either to religious leaders, or are ostracizing you and bullying you behind your back.

"The drugs never work"

This in my opinion points to the fact that this song is specifically about being QUEER in a christian culture. It is common for trans people to turn to drugs or psychedelics in an area that has little to no access to gender affirming care, or acceptance because they both change reality and disconnect one from the body that is causing their dysphoria. It can also help burn away the guilt, so to speak.

The methods of keeping you clean is about two things: one, about purity culture, no smoking, no drinking, no friends who drink, no sex, no porn, no masturbation, no impure thoughts. The second, is the way they're able to subtly manipulate you into hiding yourself, into lying to yourself, into forcing yourself to the point of death into being cishet. They're keeping you clean not just from the vices of addiction, but the vices of the flesh, the vice you can't escape because it's a part of you from the day youre born. On a darker note, this could also be referring to c*nversion th*rapy, given this second interpretation of the lyrics

"Ripping your head and aspirations to shreds," Is again about two things in my opinion: both the idea of "losing yourself to God's will" that usually leads one to losing their identity and getting depression and fucked up mental health, and the "shift" that happens at church when you reach a certain age. You know the kind, right? You're four years old, and church is FUN! You get to go to this big room and sing and dance on stage with all your friends! You get to play GAMES! You get to talk to the ~cool teenagers~ who are ~Just like you~ and ~think youre a "cool kid"~, you have ~best friends~ who will be with you like Jesus and the 12! but then, one day, something happens, something SHIFTS. maybe the Sunday school teacher leaves, maybe there's a new family at church, maybe the church changes buildings. Maybe none of that has to do with any of it, all you know is that now things are forever different. Church isn't fun anymore. The kids classes are repetitive, they're bribing you into memorizing bible verses with money, they DONT reward critical thinking or analysis, but they do call you smart, that's because they dont want SMART kids they want OBEDIANT ones. You have no choice but to stat going to REAL church. Suddenly, your best friends are not your best friends. Suddenly they're avoiding you. Suddenly they're lying to you. Suddenly you're too... well they don't know the word yet but "gay" for them...

"Teenagers scare the living shit out of me"

This is what youth group does to you, it isolates you from your entire generation because there are few people your age and a whole lot older than you, and everyone is so much DIFFERENT from you for some reason, but neither of you know why, not yet anyways. This makes you distance yourself from teenagers, because you can't SEE yourself as a teenager, because youre nothing like other teenagers.

"They could care less as long as someone will bleed,"

This is the martyr complex that permeates youth culture like the smell of wine, the problem? these kids love to make a show of themselves and their martyrdom, but they're unwilling to martyr themselves, so what do they do? They throw someone else to the wolves and take the glory. They ostracize and eliminate the unique in the name of preserving their faith. They convert and convert and god help anyone who doesn't want to convert.

"So darken your clothes and strike a violent pose"

This is about deconversion, how the moment you leave the church you never want to see another cross till the day you die, that you want to avoid christians of all costs because you don't want them To drag you back into the pit that devoured you. So you do anything and everything you can to make yourself repulsive to Christians, which actually coincides with your indulgence of mundane activities previously considered as "sin"

"Maybe they'll leave you alone but not me,"

There's a different between a cishet ex Christian and a queer ex christian, and that difference is that a cishet atheist is more likely to be left alone than a queer one, especially a queer one whose whole demeanor screams "Christians be gone," that shit is like... it summons christians faster than free winter jam tickets! They swarm to you frothing at the mouth with holy water waiting to either convert you or exorcise you into purity, depends on if you want them or not. Again, you don't even have to be OPENLY gay, they can TRACK this shit. it's like fucking... INSTINCT or something.

"The boys and girls in the clique, the awful names that they stick, you're never gonna fit in much kid,"

as alluded to above, this lyric is about how, even from a young age, BEFORE youth group, this toxic culture kind of develops. ESPECIALLY around christian girls. They don't have the vulgarity of slurs, but they can make up for it with slang like "tomboy" "nancyboy" "too boyish" "a sissy" "Weird" etc, youre NEVER going to fit in, because the moment that "shift", from fun games and songs to Real Church, occurs, you have a target on your back.

"But if youre troubled and hurt what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did,"

This is probably a gun. But that's a tad too boring for my taste. If you were raised protestant you KNOW that being an ex protestant, after the craziness of evangelicalism, you would not hesitate to burn down your old church. It could be a secret tattoo, top surgery scars, hell maybe even nipple clamps. Whatever it is, it's symbolic of revenge. I know that anytime I wore my labrys necklace to church I would always hide it under my shirt. I hid books and CDs under there too. Again, it's about revenge, it's about breaking free, gun or no gun, the point is getting out and getting back at them.

and thats pretty much my take on the song. Again, this is not about artist intent this is just what the lyrics reminded ME of personally (as you can see from the over biographical bullshit I wrote), I'm always open to contradicting interpretations though as I always have like 2+ interpretations of a song or book! I never really saw the song through the lens of youth group specifically but when I went over the lyrics again in retrospect it all seemed to really click (pun not intended) well! Thanks for the ask!

[dreamersleeps]

Todoroki Enji and the Egyptian Sun God Ra

(Part Four: Mythological Influences in Boku no Hero Academia) 

Note: ok, so I’m kinda nervous to post this. . . but here we are

So how did I get to comparing the Egyptian sun god Ra to Endeavor? To sum it up, this is the fourth post in a set of analysis and meta about mythological influences in BNHA, so a lot of this builds on top of the info and connections I’ve made previously.

There are quite a few references and influences to Greek mythology in BNHA and personally I was very intrigued with the Hawks and Icarus parallels that kept popping up. In the myth of Icarus, the sun melts the wax off of Icarus’ artificial wings which causes him to fall and drown in the ocean. I saw Endeavor as one of Hawks’ metaphorical “suns”. While I sat on that, I began looking at Tokoyami, since he has a mentor-student relationship with Hawks, and found how he has Egyptian influences in his character design which I wrote about in a post here. 

I began researching and reading through ancient Egyptian myths and information. One of the figures that caught my attention was the ancient Egyptian’s most important god: Ra, the sun god. (He is the falcon headed figure depicted below.)  I quickly found some similarities between Ra and Endeavor. 

This image is from the expereince-ancient-egypt website. 

Before I begin, I’d like to say I am very much aware that BNHA is a Japanese manga series and that the story is greatly influenced by Japanese culture and society. Unless there are very explicit examples (such as the case of Tokoyami) this post is not me saying that Horikoshi intentionally wrote certain characters and aspects inspired by Egyptian mythology. I just like like finding interesting similarities whether they were intentional or coincidental and writing about it. 

That being stated, let’s begin. 

Ra: The Egyptian God of the Sun 

The original source of the image above is unknown. 

So, who exactly is Ra? 

Ra was the Ancient Egyptian sun god. The sun had a special place among the ancient Egyptians, they considered it the source of life. He was... the creator of the universe, one of the most famous deities... 

Ancient Egyptians believed that Ra created himself, and his tears created humans. The setting of the sun means the beginning of the daily journey by Ra, in which he travels by his holy boat to the underworld every evening, to fight the forces of evil represented in a big snake called Apophis, and then returns to a brilliant triumph in the heights of the sky every morning on a new day. The ancient Egyptian saw this as a sign of human resurrection, and also evidence of Ra’s victory over the forces of chaos and evil (cleopatraegypttours). 

Throughout all the websites I went through, Ra was very closely associated with the themes of the sun, life, the underworld, resurrection and victory over chaos and evil.

Let’s focus more on Ra’s journey through the underworld. 

During his life he was required, as the incarnation and representative of the sun god, to maintain the cosmic and social order (ma’at) established by the god of creation. He had to repel the forces of chaos which constantly threatened the order of the world. 

After his d/eath, the king united with the sun disk and his divine body merged with his creator. In his new role he continued to perform the task of subduing the powers of chaos. This active role of the king and sun god necessitated a detailed description of the d/amned, who represent the forces of evil. 

Perhaps you may be starting to see the similarities and connections I began to form between Ra and Endeavor. If not, it’s okay. Sometimes II have to sit on a lot of the information I’m taking in before I see anything. 

Endeavor’s Powers

Endeavor’s fire-based quirk is called “Hellflame.” The list of his named moves are: Flashfire Fist (Jet Burn, Hell Spider, Hell’s Curtain), Karmic Raze - Hellfire Storm, Raging Assault - Hell Minefield, Vanishing Fist, and Prominence Burn. As you can see, there’s a lot of mentions of the word: Hell. 

While we can connect the “hell theme” back to Ra’s connections to the underworld, I would first like to point out what the Egyptian underworld was. We associate fire, suffering and other things with hell, however, this is a depiction that comes from the Abrahamic/Judeo-Christian religions. 

The image above depicts a section of the Egyptian Book of the D/ead with Osiris on the left and the Weighting of the Heart taking place on the right. 

There were many sources that described the extensive processes of the underworld and afterlife so I’m keeping it simple here. Anyways, the ancient Egyptians did not really have a concept of this sort of hell. Instead, after death, a part of the soul would travel through the underworld which was also known as Duat for judgement. They underwent a judgement process that had two parts and if they passed, they moved on to the Reed Fields which was Paradise. Those who failed simply ceased to be.

The “hell” that is probably being referred back to with Endeavor’s quirk and powers most likely was influenced with other cultures, again more specifically those with Abrahamic/Judeo-Christian religions. Despite this difference I do still think that there are other interesting similarities between Endeavor and Ra. 

For example, I’ve already established in a previous post that I like to associate Endeavor to the sun. A lot of this post will rely heavily on what happened during the High End vs Endeavor fight. The move he is using above is called “Prominence Burn.” According to NASA: 

a solar prominence (also known as a filament when viewed against the solar disk) is a large, bright feature extending outwards into the Sun’s hot outer atmosphere

This is the finishing move that helps Endeavor defeat the High End and this is very significant because it is the only move with a name that relates back to the sun. 

In Chapter 188 during the High End fight, Endeavor is even depicted as a fiery sphere of fire and light high up in the sky, very visually similar to the sun. 

If you need more evidence for sun related themes surrounding Endeavor, Ending, the criminal who kidnaps Natsuo describes him as “A fierce solar flare that shines bright.” 

One of Ra’s main duties is to keep order and defeat the “forces of chaos and evil.” Endeavor and the heroes in general sort of view themselves as this force of good and see the “villains” as enemies that have to be taken care of. I don’t agree with the ideas that “all heroes are good, and all villains are bad” and that is definitely not the message that Horikoshi is trying to send. It is because that sort of belief exists that hero society is flawed. Typically, when reading through mythology or religious texts, the themes of absolute good and absolute evil are common. Those are the contexts in which gods and other figures that exist. Humans are flawed and tend to stand somewhere in the in between. 

That being stated, Ra and Endeavor are similar in their ties to the sun, underworld and sense of duty that they must defeat the “forces of chaos and evil” for the sake of everyone else. 

High End vs Endeavor 

Endeavor greatest ambition in life was to become the number one hero. He may act like a hero in the public’s eye but he does not have a “heroic nature” or “character.” He failed and broke his own family for the sake of his ambitions, and arguably, the Todoroki family came in to existence to serve a certain purpose. If he could not become the number one, then he’d make sure that someone with his blood and name would achieve that one day. However the unexpected happened. All Might had to retire and Endeavor was given the title as number one hero. He didn’t earn it. He was given it purely because he was the number two hero. 

Let’s revisit the High End fight. This conflict happens shortly after the Hero Billboard Chart event. Japan is uneasy as their symbol of peace has retired and they do not know whether they can rely on the new number one hero. His family also is conflicted with his new position and how it was given to him. Throughout the fight we take a step in to Endeavor’s thoughts and inner monologue.  

The manga panel above is from Chapter 188. 

The High End is incredibly powerful and even with his powerful Hellflame quirk, Endeavor is having a hard time fighting against it. One of the weaknesses with having a fire related quirk is that it overheats his body so he’s had to rely on using his flames properly and cooling down afterwards. Because of this, he thinks about his family. The family that began because of this very weakness. His memory goes back to Rei when she is young, perhaps at the beginning of their arranged marriage or shortly before. Touya, Natsuo and Fuyumi are young as well. Standing far away and unhappy, maybe even nervous. And lastly, Shouto, the child he wanted to continue his legacy in, activating both his ice and hellflame quirks. He is the only one depicted in his actual current age. 

On top of the very next page we get a scene with the High End Nomu speaking as seen below. 

This Nomu came to fight and defeat whoever was the strongest. Despite it’s ability to speak, it is still mindless, declaring on and on about its power and strength. It does not care about who it is fighting and the destruction that is occuring along the way. The High End has multiple quirks that were chosen specifically to make it as powerful as it could be. Perhaps it was in this moment that something clicked in Endeavor’s mind. 

Soon after, the High End strikes Endeavor multiple times, with one strike later leaving him with the scar that runs down the left side of his face. He falls to the ground and in to the rubble. Chapter 188 ends on this page with the manga panel seen below and everyone is left to wonder whether Endeavor is dead or alive. 

In Chapter 189 we see the effects of the void All Might left due to his retirement. 

If the “villains” can’t be kept in check the public becomes chaotic with fear. A quiet night fell over Japan after All Might retired. People felt like the light was taken away. Then Endeavor gets up. With Hawks’ help he rises in to the air with wings on fire.

And in Chapter 190 he defeats the High End Nomu with Prominence Burn. 

Endeavor and the Dawning Sun

There’s a lot of things going on here. Endeavor basically follows the journey Ra takes every single day to complete his duty. Similar to how Ra “dies” as he travels through the underworld, at one point we are led to believe that Endeavor has been killed by. As most of the battle took place up in the air, Endeavor physically falls when he “dies.” Leading up to the fall, he is thinking about his family and the past. 

While Ra and Endeavor “resurrect” at different points in their journey, they both rise back again in order to fulfill their duty to bring back “order and balance.”

I’ve already written about the falcon/hawk headed Egyptian god Horus and Hawks, however I have yet to address the relationship between Ra and Horus. At some point, Ra was combined with Horus and became known as Ra-Horakhty which means “Ra, Horus of the Horizon.” Ra-Horakhty is most often thought of as the god of the rising sun. It is in this form that Ra rises in the sky to bring the dawn when he arises from the underworld. 

The original source of this image is unknown.

There is a deity (seen above) that appears a lot throughout architecture from ancient Egypt called “Horus-Behdity” who is depicted as a winged sun disc:

The winged sun disc is highly symbolic representing the Union of Horus the falcon God, and Ra the sun god, the union of the Two-Lands of Egypt, and becomes a symbol of rebirth for the kings (British Museum).

Although it is Endeavor who ultimately defeats the High End, it is with the aid of Hawks’ quirk that he is able to land the finishing blow. He rises in to the sky like the winged sun disc: Endeavor as the sun, and Hawks as the wings. I think the depiction of Hawks with his back towards he audience and Endeavor burning them with his flames on the cover of Volume 21 says a lot of things (including the Icarus parallels!). 

Taking a couple steps back, the wording on the pages where Endeavor addresses the nomu and then before uses the finishing move Prominence Burn on the High End is important. 

“Modified human... Noumu! Manufactured one. . . Holder of multiple quirks. . . Obesessed with the pursuit of strength!” (Chapter 190)

“You are... Just like me! From the past, or perhaps from an alternate future. Now burn, and rest for all eternity!” (Chapter 190)

Endeavor is a controversial character that because of his past and the horrible things he did to his family. However, we can not ignore what has been written in the manga. I’m not going to argue or talk too much about my own thoughts and opinions here, but I think it is important to address what happened during this High End fight.

He identifies himself with the Nomu: the power hungry and mindless creature. It’s interesting that he uses the phrases of “manufactured” and “holder of multiple quirks,” and “pursuit of strength” which are words that are heavy with meaning to him: the arranged marriage he purchased, the children he neglected and the “perfect” child he sought after for the sake of strength. 

The train of thoughts that had begun in his mind is expressed outwards. He shouts them out in to the sky. He acknowledges the past (however to what extent is debatable), and even addresses the future. I’m not sure if he’s acknowledging that he may fail to change or that he hopes that he can change what he can. 

He then defeats the High End. Endeavor had been given the number on hero position but this victory is what “establishes” him with the title in the eyes of the public. With the bright light of All Might gone, the public is inspired by a new light, the sun that Endeavor represents bringing a dawn to the night. His victory pose is reminiscent of All Might’s however it is with his other arm that is in the air, he’s slumped over and his legs are barely keeping him up. The flames that usually cover his face and body are gone as well. This is the victory of Endeavor the hero but it could also be Todoroki Enji as a father making a statement. 

I’m not sure if this is him symbolically k/illing the monster he was, or if this is symbolic as to where Endeavor’s journey will ultimately head towards, or if its a representation of hopes that never come true later on. I’m not trying to paint this piece from a pro-Endeavor stance or an anti-Endeavor stance but merely trying to explain how I interpreted the events of the High End fight and the thematic meanings it had as it unfolded. At the end of the day, we all have different opinions and interpretations and you have all the right to disagree with everything I’m writing in this post. 

(The case with Endeavor is very complicated and I don’t want to get to deep in to it here however) We definitely should not forget what Endeavor did in the past but at the same time we should not ignore the efforts and progress he has tried to make. While we must hold people accountable for their actions, it is not wrong for someone to want to change or become better. Endeavor may “fail” or he may be able to “succeed,” whatever either entails or looks like. However even though we do get the depiction of a rising sun, you have to remember that the sun also sets. 

Anyways, what has been established was that this fight is where Endeavor explicitly expressed his acknowledgement of the past (maybe not in its entirety but it is a big first step). And it is directly after this step that we take a deep dive in to what facing the past will look like for Endeavor.  

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 23

Finally I made and chapter 23 has landed. We are not too far off from the final staged of the fic. This one is a mammoth and I hop that 8k words will keep you busy for a bit. I have an horrendous uni assignment due next week and work as well which means chapter 24 won't arrive until probably the beginning of next week.

The only thing I want to add about the chapter is the initial part where they talk about Christmas. Rowan's reaction might seem a little extreme but i based it on my own personal experience. I am pagan. I do not celebrate Christmas in any shape or form but I do celebrate the solstice. And what Rowan says to Aelin is what usually happens to me.

That's the only comment I'll make on the chapter.

Enjoy <3

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“You are not putting that Christmas tree in our house.” Was Rowan’s outburst when he saw the image on her phone. It was the beginning of December and Aelin was showing Rowan the tree she wanted for the house and all the decorations she wanted to buy. “It’s December Rowan. Christmas will be here soon and everyone is decorating apart from us. Stop being such a spoilsport.” He stood and began pacing around the living room. “It’s a stupid holiday.” And he realised he had gone too far when her expression morphed into one full of hurt. Rowan’s hand brushed his hair in frustration.

“So it’s just my traditions that are stupid? Did I ever made fun of you with all of yours?” Aelin was now in front of him and she was fuming. “No.” Was the only thing he could manage. “I came with you at the summer solstice. I listened to your beliefs and never made fun of you and now I ask something and I can’t get it? I thought this was a relationship of equals.” She was getting irritated. “It is.” He added, turning his back at her and staring outside. “It doesn’t seem like.” He heard her walk away and sighed heavily. His head leaned against the cold window. When he turned around, she had left the room. A bit later he heard the main door open and close and he guessed she had left the house. He sat back on the sofa, leaned his head back into the sofa and closed his eyes. His communication skills had, as always, been lacking.

It was an hour later when she came back. She had gone out, probably to let out some steam. He stood to go to her but she ignored him and it hurt. They had small fights but this was one was more serious than the others and he had to fix it. “Aelin…” he moved to her. Aelin went to their room and slammed the door in his face. He groaned and started pacing around the living room nervously, then went back to the door of their room and banged at it “Will you come out so that we can talk?” The door flew open and his hand was still in the air. “What? Talk about what? That you are behaving like a selfish asshole?” Aelin knew she had gone too far. Rowan so far had been everything but an asshole and from his reactions he knew she had hurt him just now. “Selfish?” He roared and moved away from her “You know what? Decorate the house. Do whatever the fuck you want. I don’t care.” He moved all the way back to the window and Aelin knew he was mad. He had cursed and that was not something he did. She heard him use the F word only once and it was during a much happier moment. “Ro, I am sorry. I didn’t mean…” He sighed and Aelin moved another step to him. That distance between them was too much and she did not like fighting with him. For the first time she was in an healthy relationship and she had no intention of ruining everything. He turned abruptly and looked at her “I have never celebrated Christmas. I am 38 and I never did.” He started, finally looking at her “My parents followed the old ways and growing up I did the same. I grew up with kids making fun of me because I did not believe in Santa and because my family did not celebrate Christmas. When I was with Lyria I was forced to endless Christmas parties and people made fun of me when I told them I was going to Callanish for the winter solstice.” He ran his hands through his hair. Aelin moved to him and hugged him “I am sorry…” she felt tears well in her eyes. Rowan sighed and his hands went on her back and kissed her head “Don’t. I am not mad at you.” She squeezed closer “tell me what you do. Tell me how you celebrate.” She looked up at him and his eyes looked sad. He turned her in his arms and pulled her closer against his chest. His mouth close to her ear “I add holly around the house. It’s a symbol of hope, it’s meant to ward off spirits.” He explained kissing her neck He felt her relax. He had not liked their fight “I usually have a tree. A real one, that is kept healthy and then replanted at the end of the holidays. Not those plastic monstrosities.” He gave her a squeeze around her waist “It’s the Tree of Life and it’s a very important symbol, that’s why you don’t put baubles and garlands on it. I usually decorate it with pinecones, berries and other stuff, but always natural elements.” She leaned deeper against him. What he was describing it wasn’t too bad at all. “And finally the yule log.” He kissed the top of her ear “it’s the only time I lit my fireplace. The log has to be from oak. According to the ancient lore it keeps the spirits from entering the house.” He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm “I hang a wreath on my door with some bells and I have plenty of fabric elves that I use to decorate the rest of the house.” “What do the elves do?” “Well, the ancients believed that the spirits that created the Sun inhabited the realm of elves. So by adding elves you are assuring their assistance and also the return of the sun after all the dark days.” He explained trying not to sound like a lunatic. She was the first person he had truly explained his beliefs to. Lyria had never accepted it fully and he had to pretend he liked Christmas with her. “I have mistletoe too. It’s a symbol of life in the dark winter months.” She turned to face him “are we allowed to kiss under it?” He looked down at her “Of course.” She hugged him. “And I make some incredible gingerbread biscuits.” He felt her grin against his chest and knew that somehow their fight was over and finally started to relax again. “It does sound a lot like Christmas to me.” He kissed her head “It’s because when christianity took over, they incorporated some of the traditions into theirs. But the roots of the holiday are basically pagan.” “I like it.” “I didn’t mean to—“ but she stopped him with a kiss. “I always had a horrible relationship with Christmas.” He confessed “I hate the way it’s forced on everyone. It’s everywhere. And you can’t even celebrate Samhain in peace that this holiday is shoved down your throat. And don’t get me started on the consumeristic aspect. It has become a holiday for the shops to make more money. And if I even try to voice my opinion I get called a grinch and a grumpy old man. And people tend to ridicule my beliefs.” “You are my grumpy old man.” And she gave him a kiss, gentle and brief. “I have never made fun of other people for what they celebrate, but the world seems to have a problem with me because I do not follow the masses.” He sighed heavily. “I like what you described. A lot.” “We don’t have…” She shushed him again with another kiss “But I want to. We can make it our own holiday. With our own traditions. And screw the rest of the world.” “I’d love that very much.” He said, finally smiling again “we can add holiday sex in front of the fire.” “That is a tradition I would subscribe to immediately.” “We can have some of your lights outside on the door.” He offered “It’s our house so it’s only fair that we follow your traditions too. I need to stop being stubborn.” “And snowflakes decals on the windows?” He kissed her head “of course.” “Can I have hot chocolate too?” “As if I could stop you. You always cheat on me with chocolate.” And he pouted, but Aelin removed his pout with a kiss. “We can exchange gifts.” He added and her smile became brighter. “On one conditions.” She added, pushing him to the sofa where she made him sit down and straddled him “Only one each. I agree with your rant about consumerism. Lysandra and I had the same rule. We started when we were skint interns and never stopped. Just one gift each and not too expensive. It has to be meaningful.” Rowan kissed her “I really love your plan.” Her hands twined in his silver hair “And we are not celebrating on the 25th. You and I are celebrating on the winter solstice.” She decreed and he smiled back at her. “Are you sure?” He asked, closing his eyes, enjoying the feel of her hands in his hair. Aelin nodded “Which bring me to my next question: can I please invite Lysandra and Aedion? Lysandra and I have all our traditions and this year will be the first Christmas we are not together. Can we celebrate the 25th with them? And don’t worry, Aedion is a massive grinch and hates the holiday. It’s more the idea of being together with the people I love.” “Of course, mo chridhe, they can come and stay here with us and use your old room. We will celebrate your way too.” “You are not working on the 25th?” “I am doing the night shift on the 24th and finishing on the 25th around noon. Malcolm is doing the rest of the day. He is not bothered. And I am off early on the 21st because again I come off the night shift so we can celebrate together.” And Rowan grinned wildly at that admission of hers “Good, because I have plans to take my wonderful woman to the best winter solstice ever.” “What plans?” She asked grinding gently against him. “If I tell you, I’d have to kill you And I’d rather not do that.” And he kissed her deeply and a moan left her mouth. “I have an elf pyjama for the holidays.” She admitted as her hand started to move in a sensual way around his body. “You definitely are my elf who brought back sun in my life.” Aelin groaned “Too cheesy. Now I need to punish you.” And her mouth crashed against his. Her hand landed on his crotch and she found him ready for her “someone is needy.” “Very…” he kissed her neck “very…” another one “very needy.” She stood and he groaned and the loss of contact with her body. She started to undress in front of him “I guess you can start unwrap your first present.” Then she stopped and started laughing “It sounded so much better in my head. It made me cringe.” Rowan stood and walked to her, his hand went behind her head and dragged her closer for a kiss that made her legs go jelly “Tell me another one of your fantasies…” he whispered in her ear. She whispered back “Blindfold me and tie my hands to the head of the bed and do your worst.” He looked at her wickedly “As you wish, mo chridhe.” He lifted her in his arms and quickly walked to their room, ready to start their own celebrations.

It was the winter solstice and Aelin and Rowan were at Callanish to celebrate the shortest day of the year. It was a very crispy night and Rowan had told her that according to his app there were chances to see the Northern Lights again. She was excited, she had seen then during their break and was looking forward to see them again. And in a place like Callanish the idea was beyond amazing. She was glad she had listened to him and covered herself in layers. It was quite cold. As they walked to the site Aelin lifted her head and saw the sky ablaze with stars. She was in awe. His hands touched her lower back and she looked at him. Rowan had a strange glow in his eyes. He had been like that all day and she could have guessed that he was giddy and excited about something. If it wasn’t that her boyfriend was famous for his composure. Damn, the man was grinning. In silence they walked to the stone circle and the stopped in the centre near the chamber. He turned her to him and kissed her “Happy solstice.” With the passing of the months she had slowly learned all about his being pagan. She had been fascinated by all of it and enjoyed his way of celebrating the holidays. After their fight about Christmas she had taken her time to listen to him and discover what being pagan meant for him. Rowan was basically a tree hugger, who loved nature, followed ancient festivals deeply rooted in the ancient traditions of people who followed Earth’s cycles and celebrated the passing of the seasons. He had explained to her that the winter solstice had a powerful meaning of regeneration and renewal. Slowly light was taking over the night. He had also added that that year was more important than usual because they had been each other’s solstice. They both were in a deep dark night before they met. And slowly they brought the sun back in their lives, together. And she loved the symbolism. She was busy with her thoughts when she felt his arms wound around her, his chin on her head, and she had come to love that position. She fitted perfectly under him. “When I was younger, I used to come out here with my telescope and look at the stars and the planets.” He confessed and Aelin smiled at the idea of a younger Rowan looking up at the sky in admiration. He grabbed her hand and pointed to a specific pattern in the sky “See that? That’s Orion the hunter.” “How can you tell?” He guided her hand across the air “This… is his bow.” Then moved the hand lower and horizontally “this is his belt.” And then down vertically “and this is his sword.” Then up again “and his body.” Aelin was amazed at him and all of a sudden she wanted to know more. Then he moved her hand again to another point “That W shaped pattern? That’s Cassiopeia. And if we move a bit…” and his body turned her and he pointed again “That’s the plough or the Little Bear and if you follow his tail all the way up you find what?” “Polaris.” Answered Aelin with a smug face for actually remembering something from High school. He kissed her neck as a reward and she closed her eyes to enjoy the moment. Then a second later she felt him move away from her. She turned to ask him what was his deal when he noticed him on one knee. She gasped and brought a hand to her mouth in surprise “Holy shit.” Definitely not the most romantic comment. “Aelin, my Queen, I have little to give you if not my love, my loyalty and myself. But I swear it will be my mission, for the rest of my existence, to make you happy. To cherish you and walk at your side through every peril and difficulty life throws at us. Aelin Galathynius, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?” Aelin sobbed. He had used the line from one of their favourite books where the lowly warrior falls for the Queen and they end up together. She looked at him on his knees with a box in his hands and a wedding band in it. Her heart raced and she felt her hands shake. She finally unfroze and moved a step toward him and ran a hand through his hair “Rowan Whitethorn, my King, I will happily accept to share my life with you. To whatever end.” He stood and kissed and she felt him shake as well. “For a moment I feared you were going to say no.” Aelin let out a wet laugh “I was too busy trying to breath.” He laughed and he finally put the ring on her finger “It’s not your usual engagement ring. It’s a Celtic ring, I had it made from a local woman who does jewellery and it has some Celtic symbols connected with love engraved on. And it’s white gold. I find normal gold too tacky.” And he kissed her again and when he pulled away Aelin lifted her left hand and looked at the ring. It was simple but gorgeous. And she could totally tell it was handmade. It was unique and her heart had swelled with love for him “It’s beautiful.” “I wanted something special, but simple as well. It’s my gift and we agreed to be meaningful and well…” She kissed him “It’s perfect and now it makes my gift look pathetic.” “Whatever you gave me, it will be perfect.” Aelin hugged him and took a notice of their surroundings “Does it have some sort of meaning that we are in the middle of the circle of stones?” “Not for a proposal, but during a Celtic wedding, the couple tie their hands in what is called the hand-fasting ritual and the guests form a ring around the couple. I loved the symbolism.” She kissed him deeply “I love it so much.” He sat down with his back against one of the stones and pulled her down to him and she took her spot between his legs while his hands wrapped themselves around her waist. “I want a Celtic style wedding. You know pagan… I had the whole white gown traditional super expensive hoopla. I don’t care for it.” He kissed her behind her ear “A pagan hand-fasting it originally has two ceremonies. The first one that is meant to last one year and one day and then the second one for the rest of the couple’s life. But some people do just the one and go for all their life option.” He explained and she lifted their twined hands to her mouth “I want the traditional. I love the idea of renewing our vows after a year and a day.” She admitted. “Will you be wearing a kilt?” She asked curiously. The idea of seeing him in traditional Scottish attire gave her fuzzy feelings. “Yes, I have one with my clan colours.” “Can I have something similar? I don’t want another boring white gown. Am I allowed to wear your colours?” He nodded “You can have a lovely tartan wedding gown matching my kilt.” “Ro?” “Yes, Fireheart.” “Can we please get married here at Callanish?” “We can do it at Beltaine if you accept to wait for a bit. It’s a fire festival. It marks mid way to the Summer Solstice. It has the meaning of rebirth as the short dark nights give way to the long summer days. In ancient days it was a great time for celebrating and gathering and people would lit bonfires. It is also connected with fertility. Earth is becoming alive again and its fertile energy is celebrated as well.” “Will it mean a lot to you if we chose Beltaine?” He shook his head “We choose whatever you prefer. You don’t have to feel the need to follow my beliefs.” Aelin turned, kneeling in front of him “But I want to Ro, all you said so far seems to have a beautiful meaning connected to love and life. All you said so far just feels beautiful and I want all of it.” She kissed him deeply “It would make me very happy.” She kissed him again and his arms pulled her closer and desire bled through her. “It’s a shame it’s cold. The idea of having sex on such a powerful site is very exciting.” Rowan laughed and pulled her down on top of him until she straddled him and went back kissing him. Rowan opened his eyes for a moment and stopped kissing her. “What?” She said pulling away from him. Rowan turned her and pointed at the sky. A beautiful green and blue with a light tinge of red was dancing in the night. “Yes!”shouted Aelin in celebration when she looked at the sky. The first time she saw the Northern Lights it was during their holiday, when they took their last step in their relationship. And now they appeared again on the night he proposed. She loved the connection. Aelin sat back and Rowan held her “They are so beautiful I want to cry.” Then she grabbed her bag and pulled out his gift, feeling almost embarrassed. “This is for you and please don’t laugh. I am not a big fan of buying presents and I had no idea what to give you.” He held her close and grabbed the present and slowly unwrapped it. Soft fabric appeared in front of him and in the middle he felt the hardness of a book. “That’s two presents.” He smiled at her and grabbed the fabric noticing it was a gorgeous scarf as green as his eyes and it was soft “Aelin, this is gorgeous.” “I saw it in a shop and I just thought it was perfect. It’s a lousy gift but it’s useful.” Rowan wrapped the scarf around his neck “I adore it. And I really needed a new one, I swear. I just couldn’t be bothered to go and get it.” He leaned forward and kissed her, then he started unwrapping the book and his grin grew bigger. It was one of the books he had eyes since it arrived in the shop. “I saw you put it aside a while ago and I kept an eye on it. You never bought it so I did it for you.” “Thanks. I had already overshoot my monthly budget for books so I was just waiting for the new month.” “I knew that.” She kissed his nose “I think it’s cute that you have a book budget.” “Well, if I didn’t I would not be able run the shop, pay bills and eat.” She straddled him “That’s what a girlfriend on big bucks is for.” And kissed him again. He pulled her down and she lay down snuggling against him and went back staring at the Northern Lights in the sky.

The following day Rowan was at the airport to pick up Lysandra and Aedion. Aelin could not get off her shift so he offered to pick up the couple. “Hi guys,” he greeted them when they came out of the restricted area. “Rowan.” Said Lysandra hugging him “Thank you for picking us up.” “Aelin could not get out of her shift, but we are going to the hospital so we can have lunch together.” He explained, grabbing the suitcase from the woman. Aelin had made Rowan promise that he would not reveal their news to Lysandra. Aelin wanted to do that. So he kept his grin at ease and walked the couple to the car. They reached the hospital not long after and they walked to the A&E. “This looks so different,” commented Lysandra at seeing the smaller place compared to what she was used to. Rowan tried to phone Aelin but she did not respond then he spotted Malcolm. “Hi man,” said the man greeting Rowan with a big smile. “Hi Malcolm, is Aelin about?” “She is dealing with a patient. I’ll let her know that you are here.”

Twenty minutes later Rowan heard a squeal and saw Aelin running to Lysandra. The two women embraced and jumped and gave the entire A&E a big show. Malcolm came back a moment later “A bit higher and you’d reach ultrasound level.” “Mal, these are my friends Lysandra. She is a kick ass doctor in London.” Then she turned to Aedion, “this is her boyfriend Aedion.” “Guys,” Aelin then turned to her friends “This is Malcolm and he is my second and he awesome.” And she put an arm around his waist. The first time she did she was afraid Rowan might not appreciate the gesture, but when she explained him that Malcolm was just a super great friend and definitely not interested in her he was okay. Mal shook their hands “Nice meeting you all.” Then his pager went off. He winked at Aedion and left waving at the group. “I gotta go, some of us actually have to work.” And gave Aelin a big grin. “Did he just wink at me?” Asked Aedion. “Oh yeah, Mal likes guys. He has a major crush on Rowan and I got a feeling you might be his type too.” Explained Aelin. “He is hot.” Admitted Lysandra, watching Mal walk away.“I wish I had such a sexy second. I am so jealous right now…” Aedion coughed. Lysandra turned her head “I still love you.” “Just checking.” Then Aelin grabbed Lysandra’s hand “let’s go to the cafeteria, I am starving.” Once at the cafeteria they ordered food and sat down at the table. Lysandra was about to tackle her lunch when she noticed the ring on Aelin’s left hand. “No way.” She grabbed the hand “When did it happen?” She admired the ring on her fourth finger. “I proposed last night.” Replied Rowan, allowing Aelin to eat. “Tell me everything.” Lysandra dropped the hand and was now in full gossip mode. Aelin was eating and since Rowan knew she had limited time he told Lysandra the story “I asked her last night at Callanish. It was the winter solstice. I have been planning it for a while. The night was special and the site too.” Rowan extended his arm to brush her head “And when she saw me on my knees, her first comment was ‘Holy Shit’” Aelin laughed “I was not expecting that. One moment you were telling me all about constellations, the next you were on one knee.” She blew him a kiss “It was awesome, though” Said Aelin “and it was so romantic. He used the quote of our favourite book.” She took another bite of her food. She was about to add something else when her pager went off. She groaned and finished off her food very quickly. “I gotta go.” She stood and kissed Rowan “Love you.” Then hugged Lysandra and Aedion. “I will see you all tonight at home.” And after that she ran away. “She seems happy.” Commented Lysandra eating her lunch. “She is. She is enjoying her job. The first month has been a bit rough, but she loves her team.” Explained Rowan and Lysandra noticed the pride beaming from the man. “I don’t think I have ever seen this happy. Whatever magic you are using, it’s working. And I am grateful.” Lysandra took Rowan’s hand “before she came here she was in a very dark place. So thank you.” Rowan nodded “To be honest, she helped me too.” He saw the woman smile. “We haven’t told Aelin yet, I will tell her tonight, but Aedion and I are thinking about moving here. I can work at the hospital if an opening comes up and he is a pilot and an aircraft engineer, he will find something.” Rowan was stunned “Really?” “Yes,” it was Aedion this time “we have been talking about it since the first trip we made. We both fell in love with the islands and we decided that when we will have a family, this is the kind of environment we want our kids to grow up.” Aedion took Lysandra’s hand “we know it’s a very big change, but it feels right.” “Aelin will be delighted. She misses you a lot.” Rowan looked at both of them “Are you sure? Island life has its challenges. I was afraid that Aelin was going to struggle. Going from living in a place like London where you have everything at your fingertip to live here, it is a massive jump.” Lysandra nodded “we discussed it extensively and we both want it.” Rowan nodded and smiled. They finished their lunch and he took them home so they could get settled and relax a bit while they waiter for Aelin to come back home.

It was much later that night when Aelin got back home. She had to stay behind a bit longer to organise a few things with Malcolm about the interns. She was now ready to collapse on the sofa and catch up with Lys. Once inside she noticed the three of them in the living room, chatting happily. She was very glad that Rowan got along well with them, especially with Aedion. “Old habits die hard?” Lysandra’s voice met her as soon as she entered the living room. “Mal and I had a few things to deal with. We were not planning to finish this late.” She went to Rowan and kissed his head “I’ll take a shower and I’ll be back.” “I got dinner aside for you as well.” He stood “I’ll go and warm it up.” When he passed beside her, Aelin gently pinched his butt “I am such a lucky woman,” and disappeared away to their bedroom.

After her shower she joined the rest to the living room and Rowan had her meal ready on the coffee table for her. It looked so appetising and she was starving. “Did you dry your hair properly?” He brushed her hair to check. “Yes, my lord and master.” Rowan laughed “Good.” Aelin tackled her food when Lysandra spoke up. “Ae, Aedion and I have something to tell you.” Aelin looked up and felt worry. Lysandra’s tone seemed serious. Aedion took his girlfriend’s hand “Lysandra and I are thinking about moving up here.” The fork stopped halfway between plate and mouth. She was staring at the couple with a weird expression. “Say something, please.” Asked Lysandra with worry in her voice. “Are you sure?” Aedion nodded “we have been discussing the issue for a while. You were not the only one who was not happy in London.” He confessed “Lys and I need a fresh start as well and well, we kinda fell in love with this place the first time we came to visit and we have been talking about it ever since.” “Aedion and I have been looking for jobs already. He has a couple of possible options at the airport as an engineer.” Aelin stood and ran to hug Lysandra, so fiercely they almost fell off the chair “I would love that very much. I missed you like crazy. Gossiping with Rowan is no fun.” Rowan coughed in response to the jab. Aelin sat on Lysandra’s lap, her arms still around the woman, and turned to him “Yes you, you never know any gossip in town. I always need to go to your aunt.” Aelin went back to her seat and continued her dinner before it became cold again. “It might take a while but we’ll do it.” “I can listen at the hospital if I hear any opening that might be good for you.” Lysandra smiled “That would be so amazing.” Then she took a sip of her beer “Have you and Rowan discussed about what to do for the wedding? I know you got engaged last night…” Aelin and Rowan exchanged a glance “We actually did.” He answered for her “We are going to have a pagan hand-fastening at Callanish on Beltaine.” Both Lysandra and Aedion looked puzzled. “It’s still a wedding but your hands get tied together with a ribbon as a symbol of the union.” “Sounds cool. And original.” Commented Lysandra. “And Rowan is going to wear a kilt.” Aelin looked at Lysandra and the two women exchanged an understanding glance “And I will have a nice tartan gown with his clan colours.” “What are his colours?” Aelin grabbed her phone and showed Lysandra a picture she had downloaded. “Oh, that’s going to be a gorgeous pattern.” “We haven’t decided the fine details just yet, but of course you two are coming.” Lysandra squealed in delight “Let me know if you want to have another bachelorette party. We can surely top the one you had for officer asshole.” Aelin flinched “I am not sure there is a point.” She drank a bit of water “Speaking of the asshole, I don’t think I told you that he came here.” “No fucking way.” “Yeah, he came here to take me back to London. He told me he wanted to try again and have a while together and then get married again because he missed me.” Aedion growled “Apologies for the language ladies, but what the fuck was he thinking? He was an asshole. He screwed the bitch for over a year and lied to you. He treated you like shit and he has the guts to come and beg to go back to him?” Aelin laughed, Aedion had always been very protective of her and Lysandra and he had been very vocal about his hatred for Chaol. “Don’t worry, Rowan punched him.” And she took Rowan’s hand and smiled at him. “Of that, I am very grateful. I just wished I had been the one to do it. I should have done it last year when he forgot your birthday and came home drunk and ruined the party at your place and kicked us all out.” Aelin had removed that horrible night from memory. He had been horrible to every one. Once they left he had tried to force himself on her but she had pushed him away. She had given him the divorce papers only the previous day and he was still furious with her. She had slept in the guest room that night. The following day she had told Aedion and Lysandra what happened and they helped her pack and move out of the house. She had been glad that Chaol was not at home because Aedion would have reduced him to a pulp. She had never seen him that mad. “Can we just change topic, please?” Aelin felt sick just thinking about it. Rowan noticed her distress, he put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him “I have a day off in two days. We can do something together. Until then you two are on your won unfortunately.” “Don’t worry about that. Aedion and I have ideas of what to do. We will be fine. We hired a car while we are here so we can be independent.” Then she turned to Aedion “But he is driving.” “I told Rowan that you and I celebrate on the 25th with our own traditions and we can have the whole day the two of us. Rowan doesn’t do Christmas and Aedion, well we know where he stands.” “Oh yeah, Rowan told me. I asked him why the Christmas tree without decorations and he explained me his version of the holiday.” “I promised Aelin she could have the 25th whatever way she wanted. We already exchanged gifts on the solstice and celebrated. So go ahead and have fun.” “Am I allowed to put Aelin’s present under the tree?” Rowan smiled “of course you can.” “I won’t be able to sleep with you though. I have a night shift on the 24th and I am not off until noon on the 25th so our morning traditions will have to wait.” Rowan had a curious expression on his face “what do you mean sleep with?” “Oh, Lys and Aelin always shared the bed on the 24th and woke up on the 25th together. They have breakfast in bed and then exchange their gifts.” Explained Aedion “Then they wear their silly ugly jumpers, drink hot chocolate all day, camp on the sofa with blankets, junk food and more hot chocolate and watch cheesy Christmas movies until they collapse exhausted on the sofa.” “You two could join us.” Commented Lysandra staring at the two men. “There is no way I am going to wear those obscene jumpers.” Complained Aedion. “You don’t have to. We can just be all the four of us together. Cozy under the blankets, eat drink and watch movies. We can even let you chose one.” Aedion looked at Rowan and the two men nodded at each other. “Fine. We’ll join the festivities,” Rowan conceded “But I will cook. We are going to have a nice meal. You won’t be able to get junk food on the 25th. This is not London remember?” She snuggled against him “I have the best fiancée in the universe.” Rowan chuckled “and I agree with Aedion. Us boys, we are not wearing any jumpers.” “Spoilsport.”

Christmas Day had finally arrived and Aelin was looking forward to go back home and start celebrating. She was exhausted. The nights shift had been crazier than she expected. Apparently some people had celebrated a bit too much. They also had an emergency in the middle of the night when a serious patient had been airlifted to the hospital from Benbecula. The guy had been in bad conditions when he came in, but was now stable. She was finishing off with her last patient for the day when she noticed Malcolm enter the pit. “Your saviour is here.” He walked to the changing room and Aelin followed him and stood on the door while he changed. “How was the night?” “It started off nice and quiet. Then we had a few people who have celebrated a bit too much and got themselves into trouble. A guy who almost got himself into a coma for how much he was drunk. I got vomited on five times, by a family who was brought in with food poisoning. And finally we had a man airlifted from Benbecula after a car accident. He was in really bad shape but he is stable but still in the ICU for now.” “Sounds like you had a fun night.” She sat down on the bench “I am so tired, I just want to sleep for a week.” “Are you sure you are okay?” He put on the top of his scrubs and grabbed his stuff from the locker and they left. “Which interns do I have with me today?” Aelin smiled wickedly “I gave you Lauren and James.” Malcolm swore. James had been the weakest of the interns. They had decided to try and give him a second chance for a little while longer, but Malcolm had very little patience with him. Although he had been out of the military for a while, he still followed some of his strict military regime he had when he was a medical officer. He had structure and she loved him for that. He also loved things done in a certain way and James had been struggling to adapt to Malcolm’s way of doing things. They were both working on it but where it was almost impossible to make Mal nervous, James was the opposite and became a mess around the man. “Be nice to him, please.” “I am always nice.” He said with a warm smile. “I know you are, but when you have your Captain mask on, you are a bit terrifying.” She laughed. She actually liked his Captain mask. It was no shit Malcolm. He would get things done with efficiency. She always wondered why he never took her job. The A&E would run like a super perfect clockwork in his hands.” “Mal?” She was curious “Can I ask you something?” They were almost back at the emergency room. He had stopped for coffee before starting his shift. “Go ahead.” “Why they didn’t offer you directly my position? You’d be amazing.” Malcolm stopped and sighed “Because I did not apply.” Aelin stopped as well and looked at him. “PTSD. I will tell you the story one day. After I retired from the Navy I took time off.” He sat on one of the chairs in a corridor “Once I was better I decided to try again to be a doctor. But I decided that I was going to remain in the position I was offered. I could not handle again the whole being in charge at all. Too much stress and it was not what I needed in order to heal. So when the position came up I just kept wishing we would get a very competent person in charge and it seems my wishes got answered.” Aelin had no idea what to say “For what it’s worth, I believe you’d have been amazing.” “Thanks, but taking orders for once it’s not too bad.” And he smiled at her “now go home, relax and celebrate with Lysandra. It’s my turn to get vomited on.” She hugged him tenderly “I will see you tomorrow night.” She stood “Nurse Jackie has baked a few cakes for all of us.”

When she finally parked the car in front of the house she relaxed. She had texted Rowan letting him know she was on her way back. He had replied saying he was finishing to prepare lunch and that the house was ready for celebrations. A part of her was excited, but another side just wanted to take a shower and sleep until it was time to go back to work again. Rowan was in front of her when she stepped in the house. He turned her around and covered her eyes with his hands. “What are you doing?” “Shhh.” He gently nudged her and she started walking. Then they stopped and he freed her eyes and Aelin gasped in surprise. The whole living room had been decorated with fairy lights. The coffee table had been moved and the floor had been covered in heavy blankets and pillows and then she laughed when she noticed Rowan and Aedion. They were wearing what looked like matching flannel pyjamas with elves on. She laughed. “The pyjamas were my idea,” confessed Lysandra “I bought them in London. And this morning I convinced them to wear them. As soon as I mentioned to Rowan that it would mean a lot to you, well, he was sold and convinced Aedion as well.” Aelin hugged Lysandra and then went to Rowan and hugged him as well and almost ended up crying. What was wrong with her? “I love it and you both look so very dashing.” She said with a flat voice and Rowan noticed that. “Are you okay?” He brushed his hand on her back while holding her. “Tired, so damn tired.” “Aelin we don’t have to—“ Aelin stopped Lysandra “Yes we do. I will be better after a shower.” “How was the puke count?” “Five.” “Not bad.” Replied the other woman “Nothing can beat the 20 of four years ago.” “Hell no.” Rowan looked between the two women as if missing the meaning of what they were talking about. “I’ll tell you after lunch.” She kissed him and went to the bathroom. Rowan was about to excuse himself but Lysandra preceded him “Go to her. She looks like hell. She needs you just now.” Rowan nodded and silently thanked the woman. He reached Aelin in the bathroom and noticed she was already in the shower. He quickly removed his clothes and joined her. “What are you doing?” He did not reply. He pulled her to his chest and hugged her tight. In that moment Aelin started crying. “Hey…” “I am sorry…” her arms went around his waist “I just feel like crying.” “Shhh let it go. I am here. Let it all out.” And she did. She cried until she felt spent in his arms. He washed her hair and tenderly washed her body as well. There was nothing sexual in his touches. He was just taking care of her and she almost cried again. While he was on his knees washing her legs she fisted her hands in his hair “I love you.” She kissed his silver hair “You don’t celebrate Christmas but still accepted to decorate the house and wear a silly pyjama.”she was sobbing again “You are amazing and I think I must have done something right in my life to have you chose me and allow me to be at your side.” She blubbered “That was cheesy. I am sorry.” He stood and pulled her back into an embrace “I didn’t allow anything. You stormed into my life and made camp in it. And I am glad you did. I meant it last night when I said I will do everything to make you happy. Even wear a silly pyjama or decorate the house with fairy lights.” His hands cupped her face “we are going to have a fun day, relax and enjoy time together with the people who matter to us.” She kissed him deeply and he pinned her against the wall. “What are you doing? We have guests.” She said against his mouth. “Lysandra told me to come and get you and that you needed me right now. I am just fulfilling my role as dutiful fiancée.” “Do your worst, Whitethorn.”

It was twenty minutes later when they left the shower and walked back into the living room. Lysandra and Aedion were snuggled on the floor with a blanket around them and were talking quietly. “Sorry guys,” apologised Aelin joining them “Rowan went to get the food.” “Are you oaky?” Aelin sighed “I think so.” “That bad last night?” Aelin shook her head “No. Not really. I had so much worse. No, I just feel exhausted.” “Come here,” Lysandra hugged her and pulled her close “Aedion and I were looking at houses out of curiosity. We thought that if we move here we could just buy a house.” Aelin turned her head “That means that you two are really serious about each other.” Lysandra nodded “It took us a while, but yeah.” And Aedion nodded. Rowan arrived five minutes later with plates full of food. Aedion helped him to move back the coffee table and he sat the food down. “I got some booze as well.” “I’ll take a beer if you have it,” said Aedion. “Do you have wine?” “Of course, m’lady.” Rowan replied with a bow and Lysandra giggled. “I’ll just have water. I don’t feel like drinking.” When Rowan got back they finally settled down. The pillows were against the sofa and they had a blanket for each couple. Aelin snuggled against Rowan and brought the plate toward her. They had set her laptop on the table and they were ready for the movie marathon “What do we start with?” “Love Actually, of course. It’s the tradition.” Aedion sighed “Babe, you girls have seen that movie a million times. Something new?” “Shh…” she placed a finger on his lips “It’s what the tradition dictates.” When the movie finished a couple of hours later, Lysandra was snuggled against Aedion but Aelin had fallen asleep in Rowan’s arms. “She is completely out.” He said. The three of them kept watching movies but Aelin never woke up or even moved. Once it was late, they decided to call it a night and everyone went back to their room. Rowan lifted Aelin in his arms and took her to bed. He deposited her gently and she woke up. “Shhh go back to sleep. I just put you in bed.” “What time is it?” She asked sleepily. “It’s almost eleven. Everyone went to bed.” “Did I sleep the whole day?” Rowan nodded. “I am horrible.” He joined her in bed, pulled her in his arms and lay down with her covering them with their duvet “No, you were not. You were tired. You worked all night. They both know. No one was mad.” “Did you watch many movies?” “A few. Aedion and I introduced Lysandra to Star Wars.” “Finally, I tried for years.” “Now go back to sleep. You are woking again tomorrow.” Aelin nodded and snuggled tightly against him. “Good night, Buzzard.” “Good night, Fireheart.”

[noaltbruh]

Bucci gang and Christmas time!

Do I know we're in the middle of Summer? Yes.

Is that going to stop me from writing headcanons about my favourite characters celebrating my favourite Holiday? No.

(Just a side note: most of the headcanons I write take place in an 'Everyone survives universe', keep this particularly in mind while reading this post)

Enjoy! 🎄

Giorno! 🐞

-Giorno has never celebrated Christian once in his entire life. To be honest...He almost feels a sense of spite thinking about this Holiday, because his parents used to neglect him even more during this time of the year. They would spend entire days out, going party with their friends, buying presents for other people, and wouldn't bother in the slightest to decorate the house with a single light

-For a long time, all he could think about when this festivity came into his mind was the dull plate of cold food his parents would leave him to heat in the microwave, but that wasn't nearly as freezing as the feeling of sorrow that filled his heart. He would sit by the window, watching other people having fun together, while he was all alone in that gloomy, small apartment.

-Can you even imagine how he felt when he first celebrated Christmas with the gang?

-He failed to understand why pretty much everyone was so exited, most of them weren't even Christian. He thought he didn't even deserve to participate, not after all the 'morally questionable' things he does as the Don of Passione

-But it didn't take much for the gang to realize how Giorno felt about Christmas, and they were determined to prove him that he had gotten the wrong idea about this Holiday

-When he noticed that he others were trying to drag him in the 'Christmas spirit', he immediately protested, claiming that he had too many errands to attend to

-Needless to say, they didn't buy it

-Eventually, he gave up, accepting to give this festivity a chance, if that would have made them happy. After all, they've been trying so hard to lift his spirit, he would have felt ungrateful rejecting them even now

-He helped with the preparations in any way he could, from decorating the house to buying gifts for everyone.

-What he hadn't realized, is how much effort and care he was putting in everything he was doing. It wasn't something he agreed to solely to please them, he was genuinely enjoying it, he wanted to be a part of this, even though he failed to fully understand it.

-His favourite part was filling the house and the back garden with lights and any other sort of decorations: candles, wreaths, festoons, music boxes, or just other ornaments in general

-When the 25th of December finally arrived, Giorno was ecstatic. Seeing his entire family having so much fun together, opening presents, admiring the lights, watching cheesy Christmas movies while wrapped up in warm blankets, it felt so...Simple, but so reassuring, he couldn't even put into words how he felt

-His favourite present was a huge encyclopedia about nature. He always reads it before going to bed, it helps him fall asleep faster and more peacefully

-Like I mentioned in my previous post, I think Giorno really likes anything that tastes even slightly sweet, so he absolutely adores Christmas treats! Pandori, panettoni, tronchetti, hot chocolate...He loves all of them!

-He can't deny that he felt really bad when they had to take off all the decorations, and while he wouldn't openly say it, he wishes for Christmas to come back again as soon as possible

Bruno! 🤐

-Bruno is the second most exited in the gang for Christmas! (Can you already tell who's the first? :) ) He's the only one, however, that cares about the religious aspect of it, which is particularly important in a country like Italy.

-It's his favourite Holiday, and it was considered the most important festivity in his family, since all of his relatives were Christians. Besides, he had always been personally attached to it, as it was one of the very few times where he could see his mom, which used to spoil him in whatever way she could

-He goes to Church either very early on Christmas Morning, while everyone is still asleep, or at exactly midnight between the 24th and the 25th. Most of the people that go at times like these are old grannies, but Bruno doesn't care, he thinks it's cute actually ^^

-As he was raised in a relatively humble environment, having the chance to celebrate Christmas in quite the...Extravagant way, after joining Passione, almost felt out of place for him

-That doesn't mean, however, that he doesn't care about the 'materialistic' part of the Festivity, because he sees it as a way to rest his head for a while and spend some quality time with the ones he cares about

-His role as the mom of the group is also remarkably present during the preparations. Bruno is the one that mostly takes care of cooking for everyone, and he enjoys it a lot! His favourite part is preparing sweets of any kind, because they allow him to experiment a lot and always try new recipes

-Every member of the gang has to participate in one way or another to the preparations, and Bruno is the one that coordinates the whole thing

-Bucciarati always gets everyone the best presents. He starts thinking about what to get for them a month before the others, so that he never finds himself in a rush and can take all the time he needs to find the perfect gift

-He also LOVES making and receiving hand-made presents, he can feel all the effort and love that was put into them, and it just feels more thoughtful than something that was bought, no matter how expensive it may have been

-Bruno is that sort of person that prefers to spend Christmas without doing anything particularly exciting, just enjoying the calm and warm atmosphere that fills the house

-However, Bucciarati also loves to go for a long walk down the streets, admiring the lights all around the town, bringing along anyone in the gang that wishes to join him

Mista! 🔫

-While the manga states that Mista believes in a 'God', I don't think he believes in Jesus, Holy Mary, and the rest. He used to go to Church when he was little, but mostly because his parents forced him to, he didn't actually care

-Because of this, he sees Christmas as a materialistic Festivity, but that doesn't mean he's not excited for it. He thinks that it's the perfect excuse for everyone to just chill for a little while and have fun

-Unlike Bruno and Giorno, who prefer to just relax at home without doing anything that requires a lot of energy, Mista is always looking forward to something exiting to do during this time of the year

-Do you want an example? Ice skating! This boy is incredibly good at skating, and he constantly flexes on the entire gang how good he is

-He's that type of person that forgets to buy presents for the gang, and only remembers at the last minute. He's lost count of how many times he had to fight with another costumer because they wanted to buy the same thing, and there was only one left

-Once, a dude was so insistent that he had to pull out his gun to scare him away. Guess what? It worked. Nobody in that shop ever dared to argue with him again

-"Get your damn hands off this videogame, I have a seventeen years old little brother that won't talk to me for two weeks if I don't buy this for him!"

-Aside from getting gifts for Narancia, Trish and the rest, he also gives something to each one of the sex pistols. It's mostly food, but they don't really seem to mind

-Even in this time of the year, Mista is still hot. While everyone is wearing sweaters, long trousers and coats, this madman is still wearing shorts. Trish constantly complains about it, saying that he's going to catch a bad cold, if not worse, if he keeps on dressing like this. He never actually listens to her though

-Like I mentioned early, everyone in the gang has to take care of the preparations in different ways. Mista, together with Fugo, has to buy all the ingredients Bruno needs. It may seem like an easy task, but it isn't; friendly reminder that they have to buy enough stuff for seven people, most of them with very different tastes

-He often gets fed up with waiting in line, and just takes everything he needs and leave without paying. Nobody has the courage to complain, they know better than messing around with a guy like that

-He will most likely steal some of Abbacchio's wine and get drunk. He usually doesn't like alcohol very much, but damn does Abba have good taste in wines

Narancia! 🍊

-You won't find anyone that loves Christmas more than this cute little bundle of sunshine!

-His mother always loved Christmas, and wanted her child to appreciate this Festivity as much as her. Since his parents weren't particularly rich, he always celebrated in a relatively simple way, but his mamma always managed to find a way to make every Christmas different and unique. His father never complained about Mela's excitement, but he barely ever participated in whatever the two of them were organizing. Still, Nari didn't mind, the woman's excitement and joy were successfully passed to her kid

-After she died, for a couple of years, he stopped celebrating Christmas. Not because he didn't want to, he just...Couldn't. His father and him were strangers at this point, and his 'friends' didn't care about it either, they actually thought that it was a stupid thing

-When he finally had the chance to celebrate again after joining Passione, Narancia swore that he wouldn't have let anything, and I say ANYTHING, stop him from enjoying every moment of this Holiday ever again

-Since there are a couple of 'Grinches' in the house, Narancia thinks it's his duty to cheer everyone up, showing them why he loves Christmas so much

-"Nobody's gonna be left out, nope, not on my watch! We're all gonna have a great time, whether you want it or not!"

-Nari already starts to get exited for this Festivity in the moment November arrives, there's nothing he looks forward to more, not even his birthday

-When Bruno finally mentions that it's time to start organizing everything, Narancia jumps from his seat, and it's one of the very few occasions where he listens carefully without spacing out

-Just like Giorno, this baby boy loves decorating the house, they make an awesome team together!

-"Giorno! Look look look...You gotta see this!" "What is it, Narancia?" "THIS SNOW GLOBE! ISN'T IT JUST SOOOOOOOO CUTE?" -"Hehe...I suppose so"

-You may think that, similar to Mista, he forgets to buy presents, but that's not the case! Narancia wants to surprise the entire gang with his awesome gifts, and when they think he can't find anything better...Boom! He slaps an even more amazing present in their faces (not literally, of course)

-Even though he can't cook, he's more than willing to help Bruno with decorating the sweets, filling them with frosting, cream, small fruits, chocolate chips...Anything Bucciarati says he can use, really

-He also loves to go admiring the lights with the latter, always pointing out everything he sees

-"GAAAAASP...AN ENTIRE TREE MADE OF LIGHTS? AM I DREAMING?" "I'd say it's real, would you like to take a picture next to it?" "Yes, please!"

-Every year he wishes for the city to finally be covered in snow, but sadly, when you live in a hot country like Italy, that's most likely going to remain a fantasy

-He really likes wearing those oversized, horrible Christmas-themed sweaters, and genuinely thinks they're cute. He hopes for someone to wear them with him, but nobody ever seems to accept

-He tried convincing Fugo once, it uhm...Didn't go too well. But one of these years, he's going to get Giorno to wear one, he's sure of it!

-Nari still believes in Santa, and Bruno will personally ari the crap out of anyone who dares to tell him that he's not real. He leaves some cookies and milk in front of the tree in the living room, saying that he's going to stay awake the entire night to finally see him. He always ends up falling asleep...So one of the members of the gang has to carry him over to bed

-During Christmas lunch, he will 100% sure overeat, to the point where he can barely stand up from the chair, but still denying verything and acting like his stomach isn't about to explode

Fugo! 🍓

-Similar to Giorno, Fugo doesn't have any particular happy memories of Christmas from his childhood

-His entire family used to reunite to celebrate together. At first sight, it seemed like nothing was wrong: everyone was having fun with their loved ones, but for Fugo...It just felt so fake

-He knew that in the moment his relatives left, his parents would have gone back to their strict and distant behavior. Even during this time of the year, they still pressured him, just in a softer way. They wouldn't let him rest until he finished all the homework his teachers gave for Christmas Holidays, they wouldn't let him play with his other cousins, saying that he was too mature, and the list went on

-The only thing that comforted him was his grandmother, whom the rest of the family only invited for pity. She was the only one that would actually give Fugo something a child would genuinely like, like a puzzle or a plushie

-He was the first member to join Bucciarati's squad, so I'm guessing that they must have spent one Christmas together, just the two of them

-At first, the blonde tried to convince Bruno to just leave him alone, inviting him to celebrate with his relatives, saying that he would have been okay on his own

-Obviously, a good mom would never leave his child, so he declined his propose. For some reason...The man's behavior reminded Fugo a lot of his grandmother, and that was the first Christmas this Strawberry boy cherished in his heart

-While they mostly kept it to something simple, when the others arrived things started to get more and more loud, especially with Narancia

-Even though he would rather just spend the day relaxing at home with something warm to drink, he always ends up being dragged into whatever Nari and Mista are planning on doing. He fell like...10 times when they went ice skating together

-Fugo still acts kinda moody towards this time of the year, as his pride is too high for him to admit that he likes something so 'sentimental'

-He's also super done with having to go shopping with Mista to buy groceries, but he has to help in one way or another

-"Alright...Mista, Fugo, you two will buy all the ingredients I'm going to need"

"Urgh...It's cold outside, and I don't want to wait in line...Do I really have to?"

"Oh? Would you rather setting up the decorations with Giorno and Narancia?"

Cut to Nari already covered in lights while giggling like a kid

"...Just give me the list already"

"Wow, rude"

-Speaking of which, Fugo's immune system is not uhm...The best, and this means that he's always super scared of catching a cold in this period. While he doesn't show it, it'd pain him a lot to ruin everyone else's fun with his sickness

-He constantly wears super heavy clothes, even when they're at home, with all the windows closed and the wood burning in the fire place

-He always looks like a potato sack in the photos, but that doesn't really bother him a lot

-He isn't very good when it comes to making presents. He tries, and remembers to buy them on time, but he's not a particularly creative boy. He's that kind of person that would mostly just buy clothes or relatively 'simple' things, not that I can really blame him...That's pretty much all he received when he was a child

Abbacchio! ⏮️

-Oh boy...OH BOY! The Grinch himself, the Christmas hunter, the gloomy Lord in person

-I like to think that Abbacchio was one of the very few very people in the gang that actually grew up with a loving family, so he was more than happy to celebrate Christmas when he was a child

-One year, his parents gave him a police officer hat as a present, and he refused to take it off for days, even though it was obviously too big for him

-This means that unlike Giorno and Fugo, whose reason for disliking Christmas goes back to this childhood, his hate towards it is much more recent and somewhat less 'justified'

-After the loss of his colleague, he became apathetic to almost everything around him, and this Holiday was not spared. It was quite the opposite, to be honest

-He can't stand the whole cheerful and happy atmosphere, he thinks it's suffocating and makes him sick. Plus, "having a bunch of brats jumping up and down, singing lame carols and decorating the house like it's some birthday party" doesn't help

-Despite Narancia's efforts, the only one who can really get him out of this mood (pun intended) is Bucciarati

-"Just stop it already, Bruno. Go have fun with the children, how many times do I have to tell you that I don't care about any of this?"

-"And how many times do I have to tell you that you're not going to get rid of me that easily?"

-"...Whatever"

-Honestly, what he likes the most about this festivity is that he has an excuse for getting drunk af without anyone complaining. He takes the fanciest and most expensive bottle of wine he has and drinks all of it in less than 10 minutes

-The gang even bets money on how long it's going to take him to finish the whole thing, either Mista or Narancia usually win, since the others tend to underestimate Abbacchio's alcoholic "abilities"

-He puts minimal effort, mostly just because he's forced to, in buying presents for the squad. He's also super biased and obviously plays favourites, even though he would never admit it

-He'd buy something super special for Bruno, try a bit harder to pick up something for Narancia and Trish and take the first thing he sees for Fugo and Mista. As for Giorno...He literally just buys some coal, writes 'Buon Natale' on a piece of paper and slaps it on the carbon

-He has a relatively simple job regarding the preparations for Holiday time, which is...

-"Very well, Abbacchio...You have to pick up the tree from the basement and bring it to the living room"

"Why me? That thing is so fu***ng heavy"

"Exactly, do you want somebody else to lift it up and break their spine? I'd rather not spend Christmas night at the hospital"

-"Sigh...Alright, just because YOU ask"

-Slowly, but surely, he's learning to love Christmas again, though he will still keep on acting grumpy and complain every time he has the chance to

Trish! 🎙

-This girl is ready to brighten up all the festivities! When it's time to have fun, Trish doesn't hesitate even for a moment!

-Similar to Narancia and Bruno, her mother couldn't afford anything super expensive or exciting during this time of the year (taking care of a child on your own is no easy job), but Trish never dared to complain. She was aware of the sacrifices her mother was making to make sure that her child had everything she needed, she wouldn't have thrown a tantrum for something superficial

-Donatella would always give her a new doll as a present, and she would play with it for entire hours without getting tired. Her favourite one was, of course, a blonde doll dressed up as a pop star

-Just like her daughter, she was extraordinarily good when it came to choosing what to wear, which means that when Trish entered her 'teen phase', the woman would gift her a dress instead. Needless to say, the girl loved it every time!

-Speaking of which, after becoming part of the gang, her favourite "Christmas activity", if it counts, was going shopping! I mean...Do you think a person like her would miss out on the Sales? Please

-She doesn't like going on his own though, and brings along somebody with her. That 'somebody's ends up being Mista most of the times, which is literally just DRAGGED out of his room to the shopping centre

-Trish is that sort of person (I mean...I don't know if that's a thing in other countries, but it's pretty much a meme here in Italy) who insists that she's on a diet even during the Holiday season, but every single time someone offers something to eat, she replies with "Whatever, I'll just start next week" or "I'll start after New Year".

-Before she knows, it's the 8th of January and she hasn't been on a diet even for a day.

-One day, she'd like to travel around the world and see how they celebrate this Festivity in other countries. As you can already tell, she valued the materialistic part of Christmas than the 'spiritual' one, and she knows that in a lot of places it isn't considered a religious Holiday in the first place

-One thing she dislikes is how she's forced to wear super heavy and long clothes, she hates them and insists that they make her look fat (which is absolutely not true)

-She LOVES taking pictures of everything! Food? Yes. Decorations? Yes. Gifts? Yes. Just photos in general where the seven of them are together? Y E S!

-Some of them try to run away when they realize that Trish is about to start a freaking photoshoot, but their struggles are always vain, especially since she has Bruno's support

-"Come oooooon, just one last picture!" "Trish, for the love of God, the lasagna is getting cold" "So what? Microwaves exist for a reason" "We are NOT going to ruin all this food by putting it in the Microwave!"

-Being the singer of the group, she takes any opportunity she has to sing a Christmas-themed song, both Carols and modern/pop songs like 'All I want for Christmas'. Half of the times she doesn't even understand the lyrics, but that's not going to stop her for sure

-She definitely doesn't forget to buy presents for the others. After she goes shopping so much, how could she? Most people think it's lame to receive a clothes as a present, but we're taking about Trish here!

-She knows very well how every member likes to dress, and she surely doesn't have problems with her budget. She will pick something for each one of her companions even better than what they would take for themselves

-Lastly, her 'task' is to decorate the tree, which is one of the longest assignments that also require a lot of attention and precision. Why, you may ask? Because that thing is freaking huge, that's why. Giorno and Narancia will probably help her out once they're done with their own decorations, the three of them have a lot of fun together!

[blog1917]

Family Treasure

La Cafetera

            My family treasure is our coffee maker. In Spanish it’s called “una cafetera”. I could confidently say that the coffee maker is something that my family system would agree to as a treasure for us. In all my sibling’s houses, my aunts and uncle’s houses, my cousins' houses and of course my parents' house, anyone who goes would find this one common object. The coffee maker is an object that is used in our culture. Making coffee in the morning for breakfast and sitting at the dining table together to talk about our plans for the day and share reminders. After every meal a small cup of coffee is shared amongst the family as a form of tradition and unity. The most important cup of coffee is the one we each share after dinner. This last cup of the day is where everyone comes together to share stories about their day. The reason why this one last cup of coffee is important is because it’s a symbol of love and laughter before everyone disperse to their rooms or get sucked into social media or calls. The beauty behind these magical, heartfelt moments are made up by the famous coffee maker; also known as the “cafetera”. Many coffee makers can be made, claiming that is the best way to make the most delicious coffee but nothing would ever compare to the cafetera. The sound that it makes while it’s simmering at the top of the cafetera is like music to my families’ ears. The strong aroma of coffee that fills the kitchen and slowly dances in the air of the hallway till it reaches one's nose as a light touch of heaven. To the delightful smooth liquid texture running down our tongue into our souls. This is something no other coffee maker can do. But the one and only cafetera will make it happen. As I describe my family treasure and how it’s been passed down from generation to generation, I am reminded of what I read in the article “What is a System and system perspective?” by Davd Aloyzy Zera. In the article it states, “For example, a child is a system comprising that individual, as are individual teachers and administrators who are constantly changing and evolving” (pp 18). This caught my attention because I thought about the many ways that we could make coffee in this generation and how we have evolved from what our parents and grandparents used to use to make coffee but yet for my family it is very difficult to change our traditional way of making coffee. Which brings me to the idea and concepts of how children have their own family treasures that they carry with them. Although, there might be another “new” evolved object that may seem more effective, it won’t be the same for that child to change out of what they’ve been taught at home. As teachers we must be open minded with the objects that each child is comfortable with and ask questions on why each object that the child carries with them is important to them and their family system. As a three-year-old child I remember gathering in the living room with the family after a delicious dinner. My mother would clean the table as the coffee maker was singing its beautiful tone screaming that it’s ready to be serviced. I could still remember the excitement of my family as they scooped a teaspoon of white sugar and stirred quickly causing a harmonic song above the laughter that filled the air. Although I was too young to drink the coffee, I still felt like I was a part of the family unity. The important part wasn’t the delightful taste of the coffee. It was always about the conversations and family time together. Creating wonderful memories that would last a lifetime. That is why the coffee maker is a part of my family's system. This is a part of who I am as my own system which is a small branch in the whole definition of what makes me Marlene. A great example of this is found in the article “Socio-scientific Issues Instruction” by Molly Ewing and Troy D. Sadler. It states, “For example, in order to understand how a plant grows we might define the systems of the plant itself with component parts (e.g., stems, leaves) making up the whole, which can carry out a function the individual parts cannot” (pp18).  This was described perfectly because it brought me to mind how I approach each cup of coffee especially when I know it’s made from a cafetera. I remember two weeks ago, going to visit my sister’s house and the first thing she did after we shared a meal was prep the coffee maker and set the table to share a heart-to-heart talk while we indulged on a hot cup of fresh coffee while her son sat with us drinking milk from his sippy cup. This is tradition, this is relationship, this is culture, moreover, this is a part of who we are as a family system. In each story family system theory is shown by how just this one object brought forth several generations together to share this one moment. From the time when I was only three years old and looked up at my family enjoying these moments. To the present time of my sister and I sharing these moments as my nephew would sit joyfully, just as I used to do as a child. My family cannot understand the significance of the cafetera and how it plays a great part of our family system.

 Community Treasure:

The Holy Bible

            My community treasure is The Holy Bible. Reason being is that I grew up in a Christian community in which my family was deeply involved in. My mother is a pastor, my brothers and I are in the music ministry and the majority of my lifetime I’ve always been devoted to my church and faith. I remember taking the bible everywhere I went, including school. The bible would be the book that I would use for reading time. Of course, my parents would give me age-appropriate bible story books, nonetheless in my mind I understood it as it being the Holy Bible. Ever since I could remember I would go to church every Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday of the week. Plus, every Saturday for children’s events. Needless to say, all of my friends were and still are a part of my Christian community. Thus, The Holy Bible is undoubtedly a community treasure. The Bible is our common guide that brings us all together to be in the same mindset and have profound conversations. The value of the Holy Bible is unmatched for the members of my belief community. One of the most direct description of the important of community meaning in a child was found in the article “Toward inclusive understandings of marriage in an early childhood classroom: negotiating (un)readiness, community, and vulnerability through a critical reading of King and King” by Frantz Bently and Mariana Souto-Manning. The article states, “The connections with and between the children will carry and shape the conversation” (pp 197).  Which is very interesting to me because I thought about the connection of how a child’s character and mindset is molded due to the surrounding that child is exposed to. I recall a moment when I was in first grade, and it was reading time. All of my classmates were taking out their princess books or/and robot books, yet I was the only one taking out my Holy Bible book. My teacher pointed out that I could borrow one of the classroom books instead of reading the book I brought as if there was something wrong with my Bible book. This moment was very hard for me because my classmates started laughing and making fun of my book. Little did they know that in my mind I view my Holy Bible book just as important and interesting to me as their princes/robot books were to them. That experience led me to understand that teachers must take into consideration the importance of a Child's community. In my community the Holy Bible was and still is a beautiful treasure, which the stories never end and holds new meaning every single time a person reads it. Which leads me to the article, “Ecological Systems Theory: The Person in the Center of the Circles” by Nancy Darling. A great quote from this article stands out, which states, “When predicting the strength of association of parental knowledge with positive aspects of development (social skills, friendships with prosocial peers, good academic performance), one might predict a stronger association in high-resource environments” (pp 215). This quote brought me back to the way I felt in that moment when the teacher suggested choosing a different book to read. At that moment I felt very confident with the choice of book that I wanted to read. Not because I felt obligated to stick to the bible, instead I felt that I had a choice of my own and regardless of what others may think of my choice of book, I will remain strong with my choice. My parents never forced me to do anything unless it was regarding my safely. Which meant that I had the option of choosing what I wanted. However, due to the fact that I felt like my teacher didn’t understand the type of community I was a part of, it led to this moment of misunderstanding and what I felt was a lack of carelessness towards my community system. A great example of a moment when I felt like my community treasure was seen as the gem that it is, was when I would go on playdates with my friends, and we would each bring our Holy Bible with us. Showing each other the colorful pictures and sharing our own thoughts on what the pictures meant was the highlight of the day. As an adult I still have these moments with my friends, and we share such wonderful insights on what we understood of the bible. The value of the Holy Bible is truly incomparable. I wouldn’t treat it for any amount of money this world can offer me, and I feel that the members of my community would agree with me on this. 

Reflection:

            Family and community treasures promote family school community partnerships by bringing forth more clarity of each child and the systems that make them who they are as individuals. Understanding the cultures and values that bother the family treasures and community treasures hold is a powerful thing. Not only for the child but also for the relationship between the parents and the teachers. One Idea that I think would work towards bringing these two systems into another system would be to have the children express what one of their family systems or community systems is during circle time and use that information to pour into another system. A second idea would be to come up with a project where the parent could be a part of and have a presentation in class where both parents/family and child can speak about their family or community systems. Which would transition into a classroom system whereas a classroom, new games can come to be created. Overall, I think that each of the reading were perfectly clear on the importance of what systems theory is and how important it is in a Childs life. Which follows them into their young adult lives.  Most importantly as teachers it is important to be open to the different systems/ cultures a child brings into the classroom. As it was wonderfully explained was how Dana Frantz Bently and Mariana Souto-Manning stated, “To be a critical teacher is to embrace the discomfort of not knowing, to become vulnerable, to embrace the complexity of an identity that encompasses both teaching and learning (Freire 1998)” (pp 197). This is an important factor that all teachers must remember in order to bring for a great learning experience and journey for their students and their parents.

                                                                   Citation

 Davd Aloyzy Zera, Fall 2002, “What is a System and system perspective?”

Molly Ewing and Troy D. Sadler, November/December 2020 “Socio-scientific Issues Instruction”, The scienceTeacher.

Dana Frantz Bently and Mariana Souto-Manning, March 2, 2016, “Toward inclusive understandings of marriage in an early childhood classroom: negotiating (un)readiness, community, and vulnerability through a critical reading of King and King”, Https://doi.org/10.1080/09575146.2025.1104899

Nancy Darling, 2007 “Ecological Systems Theory: The Person in the Center of the Circles”

[thorraborinn]

What do you think about "The Well and the Tree" by Paul C. Bauschatz? (if you have read it that is) I often see recon heathens recommend as a crucial text on Germanic cosmologies but it seems to go against a more popular notion of fatalism supposedly held by the Norse (idk about other "Germanic" cosmologies). Very informative blog, by the way. :D

I had to reread it (well, skim it). I guess I didn’t have to but I figured I probably should. I read it some 10 years ago, could barely remember it, and most of what I thought I knew from it comes from heathens referring to it, and not necessarily being right about what it contains.

It sucks so much. My gods. I think the reason it has currency is that nobody can understand it and they take that to mean that it’s above their comprehension rather than that it’s incoherent.

The rest behind a break so nobody has to watch me lose my mind writing this if they don’t want to.

It doesn’t start that bad, the first couple chapters are basically okay if outdated (but not worse than other staples like Ellis Davidson and Turville-Petre).

It’s a good, if especially egregious, example of an older paradigm of scholarship influenced too much by structural linguistics that takes for granted that Tacitus’s Germania, Beowulf, the Edda poems, and Heimskringla are all describing a contiguous thought-world that can be pieced back together by figuring out how to plug the different parts of each text back together. Thus, since the symbel in Beowulf doesn’t contain any references to pagan gods, no sumbl/symbel ever could have included worship of gods (no mention is made of the general lack of explicit mention of pagan deities in Beowulf).

Oh, and he doesn’t just not explain this, he actually says “I don’t know the other sources I’m drawing conclusions about that well, but I believe I’m right because, you know, I probably am” (p. 88):

He presents anything written in any Germanic language as representative of the “Germanic worldview” with no consideration whatsoever for possible Christian influence EXCEPT FOR THIS FUCKING PART:

Ignore the “automobiles” part, it’s the lack of context that makes that look ridiculous. But the rest of this is: EVERY SOURCE USED FOR THIS WORK EXCEPT TACITUS IS CHRISTIAN-INFLUENCED AND THAT’S WHY IT’S REPRESENTATIVE OF PAGAN GERMANIC THOUGHT ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

On the note of “older scholarship” and “too influenced by structural linguistics,” here’s a fun coincidence. On page 144, Bauschatz describes Lévi-Strauss’s model of “hot” and “cold” societies, and proceeds to describe what he thinks Germanic people believed using this model. You might have seen this post I did recently while this ask was sitting in my inbox, which I concluded with a quotation from Thunder Shaman by Ana Mariella Bacigalupo. In the middle of that I skipped over some text with “[...]” because it was pretty long already.

Here’s what I skipped over:

Lévi-Strauss’s perception of time as a binary opposition ignores indigenous understandings of time as an ongoing process that includes the past, present, and future simultaneously. Anthropologists capture the past, present, and future in social processes as they arise, change, and decline—only to be reinvented (Nash 2015).

aldfhasdl;kj there really do seem to be aspects of Bacigalupo’s articulation of Mapuche time concepts that have things in common with something that Bauschatz is grasping at but can’t get out of his own way to find. I’m gonna say this straight up: I think his belief in the causal force of the past on the present in Germanic mythology is, in a vague way, broadly correct and worth continuing to explore, but he proved incapable of doing it.

His elaboration on his idea that Germanic people had no concept of “the future” is completely meaningless semantics. If Völuspá‘s description of events that are going to happen but haven’t yet doesn’t describe “the future” (which he says it doesn’t) then it’s only by giving “future” such a narrow definition that nobody could ever possibly have a concept of “future.”

So much of the book is dedicated not to making arguments but trying to explain the things he thinks he’s already proven, like the comparison of his model of “Germanic time” to Augustine’s model of time and eternity (somehow he thinks he’s denying that Germanic people had a “future” but what he’s really saying is that they didn’t have “eternity” which would be a more useful argument worth going into for real).

The entire chapter 5 is just flagrant abuse of linguistics, none of it means anything. Furthermore, it’s circular; he arranges a model of Germanic time and a model of Germanic grammatical time (by picking and choosing different Indo-European features that are not necessarily contemporary to each other) so that they are similar, and then goes “look how similar they are!”

The last chapter is the best, not because it’s actually insightful, but because it’s where he lays out all his cards and explains (while not noticing that he’s doing so) that the entire project is just him reshaping the past in the image of his present but warped into an exoticized ideal Other in response to the alienation of modern existence. It’s so good. He walks right into it. Once again, I refer to the ask I just answered while yours was in my inbox, or rather to a comment in the tags of a reblog where someone mentioned this article by Ármann Jakobsson, about exactly this.

And I think that is why it’s secured such an important place in modern heathenry, it provides them with the exoticized ideal Other that they are looking for.

One last thing I want to say about it is that I actually wasn’t able to find a lot of the problems that I thought I was going to. I thought the weird modern heathen thing about wyrd and ørlǫg being two distinct but interrelating components of a single system came from Bauschatz, but if it did I couldn’t find it. Also while the chapter on verb tenses and aspects is bad it’s not as horrendously bad as the oversimplified “Germanic people had no concept of the future because they had no future tense” thing that heathens like to say, which can be disproven as easily as pointing out that Modern English has no future tense. The rigid, formulaic symbel/sumbl structure that heathens insist on repeating with no change or development is nowhere to be found; while I have problems with his chapter on the subject it at least has a lot more depth than what most heathens have made of it. Like I mentioned, he denies the presence of devotion to deities at symbel/sumbl -- if heathens were as into this book as they say, our sumbl would look a lot different. I’m honestly not convinced that that many of them have read it.

(Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had really incredible experiences at sumbl, as has probably anyone who’s been to enough of them. But I grieve the loss of what we could have if we weren’t holding ourselves to an arbitrary, rigid pattern based on unwavering loyalty to incorrect beliefs about what people did a thousand+ years ago).

Ultimately, the biggest problem with this book isn’t even really the book itself, it’s the way heathens use it. Instead of being like “hey this idea is interesting, maybe let’s develop this more but also see if it checks out with other sources/scholarship,” the role of this book has been to shut down discussion and enforce boundaries on legitimate expressions of heathenry.

Rather than The Well and the Tree some better books that touch on overlapping topics include The Norns in Old Norse Mythology by Karen Bek-Pedersen (the earlier version, her dissertation, is available for free online) and Tracing Old Norse Cosmology by Anders Andrén which unfortunately costs a billion dollars if you can find it, I dunno if it would be on Library Genesis because I would never encourage using that.

[danasmonster]

Comparing the SKAM Remakes: SANA (Part I)

Sana (SKAM original)

Sana is constantly having to defend and explain herself to others - her friends, her family, strangers. We see this with Vilde when she says Sana can’t have sex, and Sana clarifies that by explaining that she can have sex, she just chooses not to. There is also the assumption that Sana isn’t interested in boys or that she can’t participate in russefeiring “because she’s not ‘allowed’ to drink alcohol.” We see it with her parents when she has to explain to her mom that not all aspects of Islam fit her, and with her brother when she references him discouraging her from wearing a hijab in order to fit in more and avoid stigma. And finally, she explains during her season that she has experienced watching her brother being spit on, being asked racist questions, and other rude or hateful acts because she and her family are Muslim. 

The struggle to be both Norwegian and Muslim turns into a competition she gets lost in, and she ends up doing some very non-Muslim things like bully the Pepsi Max squad and lie in order to procure a russ bus. She also develops feelings for former Muslim and current atheist Yusef, which opens up an internal debate about the “Muslims only marry Muslims” rule.  

With all of her bitchiness, her prickliness, her rudeness and her mistakes, I still absolutely adore Sana. She is strong, outspoken, and takes absolutely no shit from anyone. Her story is so incredibly relevant to the world as a whole because of the way a lot of people view Islam or other “restrictive” aspects/sects of Christianity or other religions. It is a reminder that ultimately we should strive to love and understand each other, whether you are a theist or an atheist, a Muslim or a Norwegian. All is love. 

Everything I Love:

The opening scene with the contrast between Sana’s view from the bus with terrorist attacks and None of Dem by Robyn & Royksopp is so fun, & the look Sana gives the woman giving her a look over on the bus is pure Sana perfection 

The scene when Elias called Sana a slave woman and all of his friends gave him a verbal beatdown 

When we heard that Eskild was redecorating Noora’s room without her permission 

The Hot in Here scene with all the Balloon Squad working out while the girl squad ogles them, and the way Sana visibly snaps herself out of her trance. Also the shot of them coming up the street with a bunch of balloons to meet the girls is iconic

The way Yousef comes over to talk to Sana while she is over in the corner being a grump on the bus - I knew there was a reason she and Isak became friends. They’re both grumpy pants. 

When Sana catches Yousef dancing in her living room

The happy little look on her face when Yousef sends her a friend request on Facebook. She always smiles so freaking bright when she’s having fun with him

When Yousef showed off his carrot peeling skills

The way the Pepsi Max squad always has Pepsi 

When Yousef took the rap for the vodka left out at Sana’s party, then Sana was hit with a metaphorical brick when Yousef told her he isn’t Muslim. You could see the shock on her face, and now she is conflicted because “Muslims only marry Muslims” and she clearly has already developed feelings for Yousef

When Sana and Noora drink coffee and bask in their solidarity that Vilde and Magnus are gross

When Sana and Yousef play basketball together and we see her smile - we have NEVER seen her smile like that. And then they have a heart to heart about their individual religious beliefs and it is PURE GOLD

“I just feel like Islam, or religion in general, creates a lot of anxiety in people . . . I personally feel like I’ve taken the best out of the religion and thrown away the rest. It’s like, compassion towards others, being grateful for what’s best, having compassion. That’s it. Don’t you think I can remember to be a good person without praying?” - Yousef

“For me, everything can be total chaos during the day, but the moment I start to pray, everything turns quiet and clear. Because even though there’s all this chaos, you’ll remember what really matters. It’s fine because everything has a bigger context and a meaning. Because every little part of the universe is so complex. Imagine that! Even the brain of a cockroach has greater meaning on earth. I just can’t believe all of that is a coincidence,” - Sana

Her chat with Elias was also fantastic

“What’s more important, saying you believe in Allah or behaving as though you believe in Allah?” - Elias

Watching everyone join in during “Imagine” definitely almost had me tearing up - another song added to my playlist. Honestly this scene was so sweet and touching and then everything just came crashing down. It was intense. And Sana’s face just looked freaking broken. Then when she overheard that her suspicions about being pushed out of the group because she’s Muslim were correct it was like an extra stab through the heart

The scene where she’s walking through the schoolyard was excellent - very reminiscent of Isak’s similar scene, and another way in which the two of them parallel one another 

And this line is so, so true from Sana to Isak regarding why she never told Isak she knew Even before he met Isak

“I think Even should get to choose for himself how much he wants to share about his past. I mean, you might not want to share every thing about your past.”

When Sana and Jamilla have the conversation about all the different ways people fast, and Jamilla references her friend who won’t even swallow her own spit. So this friend goes around spitting all the time while she’s fasting. “She’s really confident about it, too.” 

Both Sana’s expression of how she thinks the world views her and Isak’s response are very powerful

Sana: “Do you know what people think when they see me, when they see my hijab, which is the first thing they see? They think I’m wearing it because I’m forced to, not because I want to. And if I say it’s because I want to, then I’m just oppressed because I can’t have my own opinion. We talk about freedom of religion and all kinds of freedoms here in Norway, but being allowed to wear an extra piece of clothing, that’s wrong? Do you know what people do when they see Elias and I walking down the street? They spit at him because they think he’s oppressing me! He doesn’t even want me to wear the hijab because he doesn’t want me to get hate. Do you know how fucking tiring it is to walk out the door everyday knowing it’s yet another day where you have to prove to a whole country that you’re not oppressed . . . I’ve received so many dumb, racist questions in my life.”

Isak: “The dumb questions are so fucking important. People can’t stop asking the dumb questions because when they stop asking the dumb questions they start making up their own answers. And that’s dangerous. You just have to stop looking for racism in dumb questions. Even if they feel racist, it’s so fucking important to answer them.”

The Los Losers bus definitely had me tearing up

When Linn admitted to sending a used tampon to someone who flirted with the boy she liked 

When we see Eskild picking up his guru mantle once more and he compares The Bible to Beyoncé . . . “The Bible says ‘The greatest of these is love’ or as Beyoncé would say ‘Love on top,’” while giving Sana advice

Noora’s face both when she saw William getting out of his car and when she got out of his after a four day sex and talk marathon

The conversation between Sana and her mom about why it is important for her to eventually marry someone who understands her beliefs and reminds her of them, not because she should be Muslim but because she chooses to be Muslim and she “would be very lonely if she were the only one in the relationship who believes.” So, whether or not she marries a nonbeliever or a non-Muslim is Sana’s choice, but there would be essential parts of Sana’s own wellbeing that would effected if she chose to go that route because her faith is an essential part of who she is. 

The conversation with Noora was equally important. They may not necessarily be fated to be together, but there is a reason this person (Yousef) came into Sana’s life and avoiding him would be ignoring this sign from fate that this person is supposed to be a part of her life right now. Life is now. 

When Yousef and Sana have yet another philosophical/religious discussion and Yousef proposes: “Maybe that’s why society needs religion. Democracy isn’t based on the idea that all people are different. It’s based on the idea that all people have equal worth. And that idea doesn’t exactly come from science. But I don’t think it helps to pretend there aren’t prejudices. What you have to do instead is show what Islam is.” 

And The Finale!!!

When Vilde was putting on her makeup and listening to Pretty Hurts by Beyoncé, and everything else about her segment. I loved getting that glimpse into some of her life and mind for a little while. I’m still disappointed she never got to tell us her story during the original SKAM.

When Eva reminds Chris that he’s a fuckboy so they can never be together. Sure he’s momentarily disappointed and probably felt sad for a little bit, but he was really quick to move on to Emma - proving Eva was smarter than him and knew him better than he knew himself. Seriously though the scene where Penetrator Chris and Emma first see each other is fucking awesome

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that the school nurse has a big white dildo on the desk next to her while she has her chat with Chris

When we see Even stressing over making Isak’s birthday perfect 

The interaction between Eskild and Linn when Eskild tells Linn she has to wear a hijab to Sana’s party because Sana is Muslim was hilarious. And then he told her they are always going to be there for each other and it got me right in the feels

And then when Eskild was proposing he, Noor, and Linn could share everything together if William moved in . . . shampoo, and William, and dish soap . . . 

Then Vilde to Chris; “You know why you’re my best friend? Because no matter how hard my day is, you always find a way to make me laugh. Sometimes it makes you feel better to pretend that you’re fine.” 

And the final speech!!!!

“Dear Sana, This speech is for you. And you’re getting it because what you’re inviting us to today overthrows American presidents tomorrow. We live in a chaotic world where it is difficult to understand the rules. Because why are some people poor and other people rich? Why do some people have to be refugees while others are safe? And why is it that sometimes even though you try to do something good it’s still met with hate?

It’s not weird that people give up, that they stop believing the good. But thank you so much for not giving up, Sana. Because even though it sometimes feels like it no one is ever alone. Each and everyone of us is part of the big chaos. And what you do today has an effect tomorrow.

it can be hard to say exactly what kind of effect, and usually you can’t see how everything fits together. But the effects of your actions are always there, somewhere in the chaos. In 100 years we may have machines that can predict effects of every action but until then we can trust this: Fear spreads But… But, fortunately love does too.”

I’m going to go cry now.