#talk about the UTTER SCANDAL of his caring about other people

[tyrantwombat]

Irin frantically trying to reassure Yoojin that Yoohyun caring about other people (BARELY caring, like .000008% caring, caring but it BARELY counts as caring, hyung!!!) doesn't mean Yoojin isn't still the 100% most important person to Yoohyun while Yoojin stands there utterly confused about why any of that is a bad thing is so fucking funny.

Yoojin: It's okay to care about other people

Irin: GASP. SHOCK. CLUTCHING PEARLS.

[testrella]

you're my religion priest! s. geto x f!reader pt.1→pt.2

synopsis: y/n moved into a small and tight knit town to take care of her elderly grandmother. what happens when she attends a sermon with her grandmother, and finds herself lusting over someone she cannot have.

fandom: jujutsu kaisen ⌗ priest suguru geto x female reader⌗ modern au content warnings: mild cursing, smut, head (giving), religious themes(?), slight degrading at the end, angst(?) public sex, NSFW.

author's note: over 11k words, u guys have fun

“..in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit. amen.”

father geto finishes off the sermon with the routine prayer. he takes the opportunity being on stage to scan the loyal audience. it was the regular, older people he preaches to. the same people who boast about him being so devoted to God at such a young age. how that when they were his age, they were off sinning. he thinks about the constant praises about being a young devoted follower, but it immediately stops when he sees her. 

a young lady, who seemed to be around the same age as him, sitting in the very back with an elderly woman. even though she was dressed as modestly as possible, the black floor length dress immersed your body in all the right places.

when did he allow his immoral thoughts come to mind

 “oh father! you must meet mrs. johnson’s granddaughter- maybe you can convince her to turn to God.” an elder of the church whispered to the priest. she gently pulled him to the side, off of the stage. 

“as you must have heard by now, edith’s grandbaby is out of control. rumor has it that she’s been caught using multiple different contraband, and premarital sex! can you believe edith would allow this to go on for so long?!”

geto mentally sighs, gossiping was always an issue at church. especially since it was located in a very small town, there wasn't much to talk about. when you were new to town, the locals went wild. fabricating very detail of your life, and spouting that nonsense through their teeth.

“with respect dear mary, the scripture speaks strongly against gossip. i’ll talk to the young lady, but please watch yourself. for there is no greater sin than sin.”

she nods while looking down, unable to meet geto’s gaze. too embarrassed to voice her concern furthermore, she mutters “yes father, please forgive me.”

“i am not the one you should be asking for forgiveness, ask the man above. now if you’ll excuse me, i’ll introduce myself to the newest member of our church.” he smiles gracefully before making his way towards mrs. johnson and her ‘scandalous’ granddaughter. 

he takes small steps towards you, puffing his chest out as he walks with a sense of pride. sure you were a pretty girl, but he was only interested to guide you through your religious journey. 

“father geto, i introduce you to my granddaughter. this is y/n. she’s only 20, and she recently moved into town to take care of me. isn’t she the kindest?”

he loses his train of thought. he's unable to bring himself to utter a single word. you were much more gorgeous up-close. if he were to describe your beauty, he’d be too overwhelmed, and wouldn’t know where to start. maybe he’d start with the way your nose fits your face perfectly. or, how your smile molded perfectly with your faint smile lines. 

geto snaps out of his trance, and quickly introduces himself. 

“i’m father geto. welcome to this church, i hope your stay has been great so far.” he purred. 

you squint your eyes at him. almost as if you already knew the rumors going around. nonetheless, you shake his hand. 

“like my grandma said, i’m y/n. i do hope we cross paths alone in the future.”

he blushes from the way you shaked his hand, but also put your other hand on his. solidifying the handshake more than it needed too. not only that, the last comment you made. crossing paths.. alone?

“my confessional booth is always open before my sermon, and at 9 PM on sundays. if that’s what you mean of course.” 

you puff your chest out and let out a dramatic sigh. taking in your arms, and letting them rest to your side, you open your mouth to speak. he stares at your lips, refusing to make eye contact.

“the sermon did end, i guess i’ll have to see you later tonight.” you assured him before walking over to your grandmother who made conversation with someone else. he watched you walk away, allowing himself to sneak a peek from behind. 

later that day, geto was having lunch. he finds himself unable to focus on his best friend's story, the words going in one ear and out the other. all the plays in his mind is you, and what you could possibly up to.

“satoru, i think i was seduced today after my sermon.” he spilled out, no longer able to contain his thoughts. 

“gross! how old was she? 50? 69? HA, get it? 69?” 

geto rolls his eyes at the blue eyed ‘man’ who acted immaturely any chance he got. maybe he really should have kept his thoughts to himself. it was better than trying to converse it with an actual man-child.

“goodness satoru, no. she was a few years younger than me. 4 years to be exact. she’s one of the elder’s granddaughter, and the way she spoke to me made me feel like i was sinning. i didn’t even do anything!”

“well..”

his eyebrow quirks as satoru began his sentence. 

“did she have big tits?” 

geto’s face quickly turned from curiosity to disgust. he abruptly stood up from the table, placing both hands on it for support, and got all up in satoru’s face.

“how could you ever speak so unashamedly about a lady like that?! let alone speak like that in front of a priest!”

“well forgive me father, i didn’t mean to offend you and your girlfriend,” satoru said sarcastically while putting his hands up defensively. “i’ve said worse, and you’ve never had a problem with it until now. she must’ve had big tits for you to go all preacher mode on me.“  

as much as geto didn’t want to admit it, satoru was right. there were many time's geto allowed the white haired man to say the most diabolical stuff known to man. even listening when satoru would describe women’s bodies in detail and occasionally his one night stands. why was this any different?

“excuse me, is that you father?” 

there is was.

the seductive voice he met only hours ago. both boys slowly turn their heads to the h/c girl standing right in front of them. their eyes met with the beauty talked about earlier. only now you were wearing a shorter version of the dress you wore earlier. 

“m-miss. y/n? i’m afraid you’ve caught me at a bad time. what brings you here?” 

you only acknowledge one of the two men in front of her, and of course it was geto. your eyes met his, and never shifted away. it was almost like a dance of temptation, daring him to do further than just eye contact. the dark aura coming from you was overwhelming him, or maybe it was just your strong perfume. 

“i apologize for the disruption, father geto. my grandma asked me to run some errands. i guess i’ll have to speak with you later tonight.“ 

before geto could get a word in, you once again walk off. just like before, he once again glances down there. 

forgive me Lord, for i have sinned. 

“dude what the fuck was that..” the white haired man questioned. he also noticed the thick tension that was stirred by non other than you.

“i d-don’t know. i cannot see her tonight. i’m scared she might tempt me into.. into doing something that’s against the scripture.”

he now finds himself in the confessional booth, anxiously waiting for your arrival. it was currently 9:47 PM, you were late. it did not help his anxiety at all. he’d give you until 10:15 for you to arrive. anything later would have to just be scheduled on another sunday. 

he lets out a deep breath before he hears the clattering of heels. geto takes a peak out of his curtain only to be met with a sultry gaze. he quickly closes off his curtain, and subconsciously wipes his sweaty palms on his lap. this was like any other confessional, there was nothing to be conspicuous. 

“father geto? are you there?“ you ask in a voice just above a whisper. 

geto swallows whatever was in his mouth before speaking.

 “of course i am.“ 

“ahem, forgive me father. i have sinned since i first moved into this town. actually, i sinned today after the sermon.“ 

he stays silent. he’s tempted to ask what you’ve done, and if it possibly had something to do with him. but you answer his unspoken questions before he can think about it for too long.

“before moving into this lovely town, my grandmother sent me a picture of her priest. goodness, i didn’t know what to do with myself.“ 

he was determined to stay stoic, and not to speak unless it was to say a prayer. but her hushed voice and the strong tension made it difficult. the air seemed to thicken every time she finished a sentence. geto couldn’t escape your magnetic pull of lust.

“a-and if i may ask, what did you do to deal with your problem?”

“i couldn’t resist myself. after i saw the photo of him, i began to have lewd thoughts. every night leading up to my departure, i’d touch myself thinking about him. then..”

she lets out a small moan, but geto would describe it as a small whine. now he was breathing heavily as his boxers started to tighten up. there was no way he could get hard in the church. it was sinful. but he was here to help you, and allowed you to continue.

“i met him today. after the sermon i started using objects to make myself feel satisfied. but it was nothing compared to his large hands shaking my hand. i can only imagine him using his hands going inside of me instead of holding a bible. even now, i cannot resist his voice..” you confessed as heavy breathing came from your end. 

“..come over to my side dear. let me help you.” he whispered.

you waste no time he notes from the sounds coming from the other side. your heels clacked once or twice before you pulled the curtain from his side. 

he studies your face very carefully. there was a light red tint spreading across your cheeks, and your ears were bright red. his eyes then wander down to your very revealing shirt that showed a lot of cleavage. the shirt was accompanied by a matching skirt, a very, VERY, short skirt.

you walk into the tight fitting booth. before he can get his hands on you, you kneel down in between his legs. your pretty little head lays on his left thigh.

“forgive me father. how can i ever make you forgive me for my sins?” you lift your head and your hands start to wander on the edge of his pants. “tell me father, there must be a way..”

geto feels a bead of sweat going down his forehead. there were many times that grandparents introduced their grandchildren to him, in hopes they get married. or, when satoru would convince him to agree to a blind date. his answer of rejection was always the same. 

‘i am devoted to the man above, i musn’t be distracted.’ 

where was his reasoning of rejection when he watches you pull both his pants and undergarments off? 

you grab his dick and painfully slowly lick the tip of it. leaving any pre-cum on his tip, now in your mouth. a slight moan leaves his mouth. this was a pleasure that he’s never experienced before. devoting all 24 years of his life to God has never brought this much fulfilment. 

where was his reasoning of rejection when you put his whole dick in your mouth without any hesitation?

your sudden move of deep throating him caught him off guard. he’s now holding your head in a gentle manner, as gentle as he can be. geto is lost at words, he can only moan uncontrollably while playing with your hair. the only thing he can fixate his eyes on was your beautiful hair getting tangled into his fingers. 

where was his reasoning when you made him finish in under five minutes even though it felt like an eternity for him?

you continue to suck him off, hollowing your cheeks for a better suction. your hands wander down to his balls, giving it a small massage. you're not sure what you did right, but it worked. geto was now praising your name instead of the lord’s. he feels an unfamiliar knot unwinding itself. 

“y/n.. please i feel..” he lets out a breathy moan instead of finishing his sentence. his eyes shut close to full enjoy the euphoric feeling. why did he want to reject your advances in the first place? he can't seem to remember. 

“father..” you cooed while taking off his shirt. of course, the hot pastor with a big dick was also very nicely built.

“oh geto, why do you hide this from me?”

your hands wander his chest then it starts to follow his happy trail. your movement was haltered when he reached out for your chest.

“the same could be said for yourself. show yourself to me, please. i beg.”

his eyes looked like a puppy who had been kicked. there was no sane woman in the world who would say no to his violet eyes. your hand then reaches out for his, and then place his hand on the hem of your shirt.

“take it off for me, father geto.”

being enchanted with your hypnotic gaze, it drew him like a moth to a flame. he lifted your shirt, taking your bra off as well, and stared with admiration. you had an art of seduction that was compared to no other. he watches you sit on his lap as you lift your skirt. 

this is sin. he was sinning. 

but he didn’t stop you as you sat slowly onto his dick, moaning in joy. he watches you go up and down painfully slow.

“c-can you go a little faster..?“ he moaned into your ear. being too embarrassed by his request, he buries himself on the side of your neck. taking in your scent, leaving small pecks on the spots you sprayed perfume. 

“you’re t-too big geto~” you whined into his ear before you attached your lips onto his. 

he was an inexperienced kisser. an inexperienced everything actually. it was easy for you to take the lead by biting onto his bottom lip. he opened his mouth to let out a small whine of pain and you took the opportunity to slip your tongue in. 

you feel yourself juices slide down your thigh onto geto’s lap as you continue to bounce on his dick. large hands start groping your ass, giving you a smack on one of your cheeks. you yelp in response. it was unexpected from a priest.

“father, use me. be as rough as you want with me.” your hands start undoing his bun, turning his hair into a disheveled mess. 

“i-i shouldn't be so mmm- rough on you.” 

you felt honored by his insistence on being so gentle. his grip on your waist tells you a different story. it was obvious he wanted to go faster than the pace you set.

“please geto, for me at least.”

oh, how could he ever deny your requests? 

his grip on your waist tightens as he lifts you up and rams into you. all pent up sexual frustrations he’s ever had in the past 24 years are being taken out on you. throughout the heavens and earth, you were his only sole purpose in life. the way you took him in so good without any complaints was proof enough. 

marks form on his shoulder and back from the scratches you were leaving. it was the only way you could hold yourself up. if not, you’d fall right into his arms while he’d continue to show no mercy on your pussy. 

geto was starting to feel what he felt earlier when you were in between his legs. his eyes gaze at yours, and gets a site he’d never unsee. small tears started forming, threatening to leave your eyes. your mouth agape as one hand held onto his shoulder, the other groping yourself.

“father geto, i-i’m ahh, i’m so close~”

on sync, the both of you came at the very same time.

geto found it more ironic than disgust when he saw the scene unfold. priest of six years, never had a temptation once in those six years. his lap was now covered in cum from not only his but the new girl in town. the new girl who easily seduced him

“forgive us lord, for the father and i have sinned.” you purred right into his ear, almost biting it. 

he massages your waist before finally putting you on your two feet. you're barely able to stand up without the support of the wall.

"y/n, we can never do this again. never speak to me unless it's about my sermon."

now it was his turn to leave before you could get a word in. he pulls his pants up and swiftly puts his shirt back on.

"you were sent by the devil, and i've failed my lord. stay far away from me you whore."

[seat-safety-switch]

Back in high school, we’d go by the abandoned mini-putt out on the city limits and look up at the stars. They didn’t have security, or at least that security didn’t care enough to ever come out of their little Chevy Celebrity and chase us off the premises. There was just enough light from the highway that it was eerie, but presented no elevated risk of tripping hazards. We used to talk about how cool it will be soon when we get to go to space, to other worlds.

Now, it is a long, long time later. Some of the kids I used to go to that miniature-scaled golf course with have moved away. In fact, virtually all of them have. I stuck it out, mostly because I wasn’t convinced my car at the time was reliable enough to leave the city in search of better employment. And that loyalty to the city has allowed me to reap the benefits: worse road conditions, harder-to-find parking, and the occasional call from The Mayor Himself to deal with another one of his little crises. Oh yes, I went to high school with him too.

If you’re not involved in municipal politics – maybe you work for a higher office of government, or you’re in what we tauntingly refer to as “the private sector” while reading all your private texts to your spouse out loud and guffawing – then you might find it surprising how many scandals your average politician gets up to in one day. To explain it a little better, allow me to use the board game Monopoly as a metaphor. In this game, you buy up hotels and properties, and then you take money from the other players, when they roll the dice poorly enough to land on those properties. Politics is like that, except you already own all the hotels and properties, and rich people come and give you money to avoid being responsible for their crimes.

Sometimes, journalists get their noses a bit out of joint. Maybe their bosses aren’t happy that the Mayor ignored them at the country club. Perhaps one of the editorial writers is tired of being pilloried as a brainless right-wing hack and has decided to forward one of their covered-up stories to one of their colleagues who isn’t drunk at work at 9 A.M. No matter what incident precipitates it, eventually a scandal hits the media, and then it’s time for damage control.

Most political crimes can be covered up with some deft turn of phrase, a bit of email shredding, and then just not answering the phone for 24 hours, by which point it is hoped that some other politician will have fucked up, and everyone will forget about the things you did. For everything else, there’s a goon like myself, whose utter unemployability is actually an asset in such an underhanded scheme.

My job is to pretend to be an undercover source who is going to talk shit about The Mayor Himself, on the record. Then, I pick up those journalists in my car, and drive very recklessly while trying to give the interview. Eventually, they get too freaked out by my driving and general state of disrepair of my automobiles, and ask meekly to be let out on the side of the road, so they can walk home. It’s basically like threatening their lives, except not. Sort of a shame, really. If any of them could tough it out, we could be best friends, and then I bet they could get a job at City Hall like me.

[binniesbobastay]

𝕬 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝕮𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖀𝖕 𝖎𝖓 𝕿𝖆𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖎𝖉𝖘

'A Heart Caught Up in Tabloids'

Hongjoong x fem!reader

You're a club owner dating Hongjoong and when your relationship becomes the target of several tabloids, you break it off to protect him. But was it the right decision?

Song recs: 'LA FAMA' by ROSALÍA, 'All I Know So Far' by P!nk, 'off the table' by Ariana Grande, 'Be With You' by ATEEZ, 'coffee' by Miguel

Word Count: 9.4k

Genre: Smut (18+ minors DNI), Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Smut, mature content (18+ minors DNI), angst, slight violence, fights, breakup, reader dates a fictional character for a bit, negative self-talk, heightened dramatic scenes, mature themes, mentions of drugs and prostitution, alcohol use, degrading terms directed at the reader (slut, whore), involves fictional depictions of idol scandals and drama and how their companies deal with it, makeup sex, unprotected sex, oral/fingering (fem. receiving), praise kink, cum play, cum eating, slight marking, creampie, etc...

You hug your knees closer to your chest, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill down your face like the raindrops that glide down the glass, patio doors. Your head fills with the sound of Hongjoong shouting in the living room.

"I don't see why you're still upset. There shouldn't be a problem anymore if you took care of it like you said!" You hear him utter through gritted teeth. The voice on the other end of his phone is so furious that you can hear the gravel-like shrillness of it even through his bedroom door.

"We've already discussed this, it's out of the question." Your lip trembles as you shift on his bed, feeling the tension practically seep through the walls. "I'm not doing that."

The other voice grumbles another comment, and you jump at the sound of glass breaking not long after.

"Listen here, you son of a bitch!" Hongjoong yells. "I'm not breaking up with her! I'll be damned if I leave the best thing that has ever happened to me before I leave the fucking company that would have rotted into the ground if I hadn't walked through its door!"

You want to scream at him, beg for him to stop. You couldn't stand the thought of him throwing away everything he had worked for just for you. But this was the nth time you've put his dreams in danger...

You're the owner of a club best known for its front-page scandals. Previous owners had let the place become a playground for drug peddling, prostitution... things that idols wouldn't dare be involved in. But ever since you took over, you put an end to all of it, turning it back into a place where people can have a good time safely.

It was something that Honjoong respected about you. The two of you met when he snuck into your club one night and when people found him out, you helped him hide.

~

"I want to give my heart out to people, I really do..." He contemplated over the beers you were sharing with him in the dimly lit back room. "It's why I make music."

You nodded as you listened to him, taking a swig of your drink before licking your lips.

"But I don't want to lose it either, ya know? I don't want this business to take it away from me." You laugh at his conflicting statement.

"Well, you either keep it in your chest or you don't. You've got to decide..." Your eyes wander over to his face to see that he's been looking at you keenly. The heat radiating off of his gaze transfers across your cheeks.

He had his eye on you from the moment you pulled him out of the swarm of people and helped him find refuge. All of his feelings were made apparent within the sparkle of his dark eyes. He really did want to give his heart out to others... and at that moment he was giving it to you.

"Okay, I think I've decided." He whispers in a low voice, before leaning in to kiss you.

~

You never loved anyone like you loved him and Hongjoong never loved anyone like he loved you. Everything you had with him was something that some people only got to dream about. But ever since the tabloids caught news that you were his girlfriend, life had been a nightmare.

The company that Hongjoong's group was under despised you. Mostly because they had gotten call after call from some lowly journalist with the blackmail of rumors about you that would taint Hongjoong's career. And if they didn't get paid to shut it down it, it would be headlining every gossip magazine or website the next morning.

They tried to make you out to be as bad as the other owners of your club. That you are just as involved with the crimes that falsely continue to take place behind the scenes, that you slut yourself out to major investors... horrible claims filed one after the other. This time it got really bad with one of the tabloids threatening to publish that you had finally dragged Hongjoong into all of your supposed affairs. The company was absolutely furious over what your relationship was costing them. They wanted you gone, out of his life for good.

But you could care less about what they think. It was Hongjoong that was your only concern. You could never forgive yourself if you were the reason, he lost everything. Every day was starting to feel like another ball of anxiety to tackle. You didn't know what the company would do about him if he kept seeing you...

And it's this realization that makes you decide on your next move.

You flinch when the door opens and Hongjoong walks into the room as if he's stepping on eggshells. He lets a small smile crack through his pained expression. You let the tears finally fall at the sight of him.

"I'm- I'm sorry." You sob, burying your face in your hands.

"Hey! No, no, no..." He quickly goes to sit next to you on the bed, collecting you in his arms. "It's not your fault, baby."

He gently grabs your wrist to remove them from your face, looking into your eyes with his own, sad ones that betray the assuring smile painted on his lips.

"The company needs to know that there are certain boundaries that I have. Our relationship is one of them. I just had to be assertive, that's all." You look at him in disbelief.

"Joong, you broke some glass!" He sighs, knowing that there's truth to your statement.

"I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry I let my anger control me while you were around, I promise..."

"I can't do this anymore..." You cut him off. He scans your face as if he's searching for what you could possibly mean.

"W-what?" He stammers, and your heart twinges at the lost look in his eyes.

"Can't you see that I'm the reason why everything with you, the company, and the tabloids... everything in your career, everything you've worked your ass off for... has gone to shit!? Joong, I'm your burden..."

"No! Don't you dare say that!" His eyes begin to water as he shakes his head. You cup his face in your hands, placing a bittersweet kiss to his lips through both of your tears.

"I don't want to hurt you, Joong. I'm scared it's only a matter of time before the company... is at its final straw with you." You swallow the lump in your throat, gathering yourself to say the next part of your tangent. "We're better off apart..."

With that, you get up off his bed to leave, the crispness of his blue, velvet comforter almost stinging beneath your fingertips. He runs after you, grabbing your wrist to stop you.

"Y/n... please. Don't do this. We can figure all of this out, we've done it before." You refuse to meet his gaze. His broken sobs are enough to make you want to stay. But you deny yourself, pulling away from his grasp.

"Yet it keeps happening, and it won't stop until I'm gone. You deserve to live your dreams without dealing with any of this bullshit." You sniffle out. For the first time, he's at a lost for words. Hongjoong, the man who loves pouring out his heart to people through all of the words he writes... finally has none to say.  

I'll come back for my things in the morning... get some sleep." You tell him as you open the front door.

"Dammit, Y/n!" His cry of defeat makes you whip your head around. You immediately wish you hadn't. The tears that stain his cheeks make his beautiful face look cracked, resembling the glass he had shattered earlier. His smile he had worked so hard to muster in order to comfort you, to make it seem like it would all be okay for real this time, had finally failed.

"Please, don't go, baby..."

His pleads fall on your ears, numb to the emotion and truth behind them.

"I told you to keep it in your chest, Hongjoong," You mutter, regretfully. "And you should've listened."

And just like that, you're shutting his door behind you, taking everything off the table with you.

~

You bounce your legs nervously in the passenger seat.

"Do you uh... wanna come in?" The words that you had asked only moments ago were ringing inside your head. But the man beside you only smiled warmly, clashing with the cool jade-colored streaks in his dark hair.

"Sure!" Your date for the night, Jasper, replied shortly. You sigh in relief.

"Wonderful." You both get out of his car once he's pulled all the way into your driveway.  

You weren't sure if you were in your right mind or not as you shakily handle your keys. Were you moving on too quickly?

You had no idea how you ended up here tonight with the charming boy. Jasper had become a regular at your club not long after your breakup and just when you had convinced yourself you should never fall for customers again... he had finally wooed you with his charm.

He officially asked you out last week and with ample time to think and encouragement from your girlfriends, you agreed. You were a nervous wreck the whole night, but luckily, he was a gentleman. He assured you that he found your clumsiness to be endearing.

You turn on the hallway light and he closes your front door behind him. He offers to take your coat as you shrug it off your shoulders, hanging it up on the rack beside him.

"Thank you." You say, blushing when you see the twinkle in his eyes behind his round glasses.

"My pleasure." He notes as you lead him further into the house.

"Sorry, I know it seems a little dreary in here with it being just me and all." You apologize as he follows you around the broad corridors.

"Are you kidding?!" He cups his hands around his mouth and bellows. "It's massive in here!" You giggle as his voice echoes off of the walls. You couldn't deny that being a club owner had its perks, the money being one of them.

"I hope you wouldn't mind me using your bathroom." He remarks, turning back to you. "But I understand if you want to keep your golden toilet spotless."

"Of course, I don't mind!" You snicker, pointing in its direction.

With that, he skips off. Honestly, how did a guy this polite find his way to your club full of rowdy attendants?

You let out a sigh of relief as you let yourself sink into your large couch. A few moments later, you hear the bathroom door opening and closing as Jasper comes around the corner and into the living room, lips raised up in a teasing smirk.

"Uh, I don't mean to intrude but I'm gonna assume this isn't a picture of you with your brother in there..." Your eyes go wide as you remember the photo in that bathroom of you and Hongjoong on a holiday together, lips locked in a kiss.

"Shit! I am so sorry." You quickly get up, attempting to make your way toward the bathroom so you can put the picture away. " I keep forgetting that's in there."

"It's no problem! But... there's not a Mr. around here I need to worry about, right." Your breath hitches when he catches you and spins you around by your waist to look at him. His tall, lean form hovers over you as his lips do the same inches away from yours...

"Cause... I don't mind that ya know? It's actually kind of a turn-on." He finally gifts you with a small peck. "Just give me a heads-up next time."

You can tell he's joking; he's always cutting up at the bar. You smack him on the shoulder in response.

"Easy there, this isn't a kdrama!" You scold him, to which he only chuckles.

"Are you sure? I just went on a date with one of the most loaded women in the city. Not to mention all of your fame from the scandals with..." His eyes go wide as he realizes what he's about to say. You know he doesn't mean any harm, but you can't help but let your heart sink. Even to this day, the tabloids still continue to talk of your split with Hongjoong. Everyone who has eyes and ears knows about the two of you.

"I'm... sorry. It was on my mind, and it just slipped out. It was totally out of line." He says, clearing his throat. You shake your head.

"It's okay. I'm not naive to the things people have read about me." His expression drops as he takes your hand.

"They shouldn't believe the things they read. Because you're much more than what those shithead interns write about you." He brings your knuckles to his lips and the old-fashioned gesture makes crimson tint your cheeks and under your eyes.

"You're just sweet talking." You tease. He lets out another deep chuckle as he pulls you down onto the couch with him.

"Don't believe me? I can show you if you want..." He says before locking his lips with yours.

"Oh wait, now I see. You were just saying that to get in my pants." You laugh when his hands come up to tickle your sides.

"Would you stop! I'm really trying not to be a total wreck in front of a gorgeous girl like you." Now it's his handsome features that are stained red.

"I know. I'm just messing with you." You give him a peck on the lips and curse yourself when you look into his eyes and start to see Hongjoong's...

In an instant, your mood changes and you scoot away from him. Your eyes grow cold and teary as they train onto the floor.

"Hey, what's wrong? Did I overstep, I'm sorry..." His hand comes up to stroke your arm, comfortingly. Again, you're reminded of Hongjoong.

"No, you didn't do anything. I'm sorry I just..." You decide that being honest is the right thing to do. "I... still think about him a lot."

A tense silence fills the air as you bite your lip, continuing to avoid his gaze. After a while, you hear him hum.

"That's totally normal, (Y/n). You don't have to be sorry for that." His assuring words make your lip tremble as you begin to feel tears spill over.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know why I invited you in if I was just going to cry over my ex..." He shakes his head, wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

"Hey, it's fine. I'm here for you. It's no easy business... having to let go of someone you love." His thumbs rub into your skin, soothingly. "Well, at least I assume you loved him."

You softly laugh at his joking comment.

"I did... I do."

"And that's completely fine. I take no offense." You look up at Jasper, sadly. He really was a nice guy and no matter how reassuring he was, you would always feel bad about dragging him into the mess that felt like your life right now.

"I really had fun tonight. You're a great guy, Jasper," Your hand comes up to meet one of his. "Maybe if it were any other time..."

"I understand," He says, yet he cranes his head down to rest it on your shoulder. "Could I... still stay here and hold you for the night? I just really like you. I'll let you talk to me... and I'll listen to every word you say."

His presence really does bring you comfort, drying your tears.

"Okay..." You agree, letting yourself sink into the bed with him. He does as he promised, listening and hanging on to your every word... as if he's going to write them down and use them for later. You stay like this until you both drift off the sleep.

~

The next morning you wake up, cradling one of the decorative pillows adorning your couch, still clad in your dress from last night. You hear shuffling beside you and turn to see Jasper with his back facing you. He's got his phone held up to his ear as if he's listening to something... but it's too quiet for you to hear.

"Jasp?" He yanks his phone away from his ear immediately, shutting it off.

"Oh, good morning. I didn't know you were awake." He laughs nervously before leaning down to kiss your forehead. You hum in content.

"I'm sorry you had to sleep like this last night." You say, referring to him in his dress clothes.

"Oh! Don't worry, it's no problem at all." He says, flashing you a half-smile. He gets up to nudge his shoes back onto his feet.

"I've gotta run, sorry I can't stay longer." You lift yourself up, fighting the slight stiffness in your neck.

"It's no problem! I'll walk you out." You tell him.

You watch him get in his car from your front door, waving him goodbye. Once you're back inside, you feel a slight tinge of satisfaction with how things went between you... despite the part where you cried like a baby over Hongjoong.

You facepalm as you begin to worry about what he must think of you now. But at the same time, he did offer to willingly listen.

That's when you're pulled out of your thoughts by the buzzing of your phone coming from the living room. You walk back over, curiously ogling at your screen. A frown washes over your face when you see the call is from an unknown number.

"Hello?" You ask when you go to answer it.

"(Y/n)... um, hi!" Your stomach drops at the familiar voice.

"Y-Yunho?" You can barely believe that you're speaking the name that you are right now, but make a mental not that you should save his number anyway.

"It's been a while! How have you been?" Hongjoong's fellow member asks you.

"Oh, um... I've been good! How about you?" You ask, shifting the weight between your feet awkwardly.

"I'm doing good too! Busy but good, thanks for asking!" When you and Hongjoong were dating, the other members welcomed you like family. Even after the breakup, they all stayed in touch with you, and you were thankful that they didn't let it change the way they saw you. The boys were some of the nicest people you knew, always being supportive of the two of you through everything.

It was always nice to have someone from outside of all the chaos by your side.

Still, there's an unusual awkward silence when he finishes. You clear your throat as you try to make up your mind on what to say next.

"Um, so what's been going on?" You ask.

"Well, I wanted to ask you a favor..." He started, pausing as if he's waiting for you to say something already.

"Shoot." You say. Seemingly relieved, he continues on.

"Are you busy tonight?" You cock your head to the side in confusion.

"Uh... I was thinking about stopping by the club later to check on everything, but I've gotta plenty of people holding it down tonight." You can almost feel his breath hitch on the other line.

"Why?" You ask him.

"Our... comeback party is going to be later this evening. If you don't have anything planned... the guys and I would love it if you came!" He manages to get out. Your thoughts begin to run wild.

"Yunho... does Hongjoong know you're inviting me to this?" There's another pause before he sighs.

"(Y/n), I'm really sorry about this being so last minute... You deserved to have an official invitation mailed to you and everything. After all, you were pretty much a part of this album."

You feel your lips go up in a weak smile as a memory comes to your mind. All the sleepless nights you spent with Hongjoong in the studio were some of the best. You saw many of the seeds planted for these songs from your seat in his lap as he played them for you, distracting himself by showering you in kisses just to hear you giggle.

"I promise you I wouldn't have called if I didn't think he needed you right this very minute. Hell, he's needed you this whole time (Y/n)." Yunho continues.

"Is he... okay?" You bring yourself to ask. The sigh that he responds with gives you all the answers you need.

"God no, (Y/n)..." He responds anyway. "He's far from it. He tries to hide it the best he can, but he's not fooling anyone."

That sounds like your Hongjoong, alright. You start to feel the familiar sting of tears at the corner of your eye as regret washes over you.

"I'm sorry, Yun... I never wanted things to turn out the way they did." Is all you can say before having to cut your own broken voice off.

"I know you didn't. No one blames you, not even Hongjoong," You falter when his name finally comes out. "But... if he could see you tonight I promise you it would bring him back."

"Yunho, I don't think that's a good idea," You utter through your top teeth as they bite down on your bottom lip. "With the cameras and..."

"I'll take care of that. You don't have to worry, I'll get security to keep the tabloids out and only our approved press will be allowed in."

"A-are you sure?" You sniffle.

"Yes, I promise. Please, (Y/n). You can even bring a date for all I care and really give him the message that he needs to suck it up and move on." He laughs.

You crack a smile back, knowing deep down you would love to see him again despite all sense of logic that you had screaming at you not to. You would just have to push it to the side and tell yourself it was just for one night...

"Okay... I'll be there, probably with a date. I don't think I can go in alone, you know."

"I understand, thank you so much, (Y/n). Everyone will be happy to see you again." He graces.

"Well... probably just you and the other boys. The company, not so much." You chuckle.

"Don't worry about them, its us who have the final say over the guest list!" he triumphs. "Thanks again, (Y/n). I'll see you tonight."

"Alright, take care." You let out a huff, wondering what further mess you had gotten yourself into.

~

"Thank you so much for doing this again." You say to Jasper, who is sitting next to you as the car you rented pulls up to the venue. You would have never thought he would agree to this after you basically blew him off last night. He flashes you his charming smile, moving his hand on top of yours.

"Of course, I knew you couldn't stay away from me." He snickers.

You smile at his banter as the driver gets out, opening the door. You tip him and bid him good night until he has to pick you up again. You look back over at Jasper, who has his mouth wide open at the display before him. Fans and paparazzi are lined up and down the street surrounding the entrance. There's stunning blue carpet and lights lining the steps up to the marvelous company building where a banner of ATEEZ's new album cover drapes over the doors. You smirk at your date's expression.

What's the matter?" You tease, linking your arm through his. "Haven't you ever been to a party before?"

"Can't say I've been to one like this, it's huge!" He marvels as the two of you follow the crowd of guests up the stairs. You put in extra effort to keep your head down and hide behind Jasper's tall form when you can. You know it's merely impossible to avoid everyone at an event like this, but the least you can do is steer clear of those with cameras.

When you arrive at the door, you tell the guard your name while referring to Jasper as your plus one, and you're granted entrance. You can't help but sigh in relief as the blasting music fills your ears in the lobby that's been turned into a party room.

"I would have thought this place had put a restraining order on me." You say, only half-jokingly.

"That bad, huh?" Jasper asks. That's when your eyes pan over to some of the familiar staff members going around greeting the guests. All you do is nod as you swallow down a lump in your throat, leading Jasper away from them and toward the bar. He kindly pulls out a chair for you before sitting down himself. You beckon the bartender over who quickly whips up what you both select on the menu. Your first sip of the drink burns going down as someone taps you on the shoulder. You turn to see a familiar and very welcoming face.

"Jongho!" You yelp in delight, hopping down from your barstool to hug him.

"Hi, (Y/n)! Glad you could make it!" The youngest member of Hongjoong's group hugs you back. Jasper nervously takes one more swig of his drink before stepping down as well, clearing his throat. You quickly take this as a sign to introduce him.

"Oh, this is Jasper. He's um... my date." Jongho awkwardly nods, shaking Jasper's extended hand.

"Nice to meet you, congratulations on the comeback!" Jasper says excitedly, making you raise an eyebrow.

"Ah, thanks! Appreciate you being here too!" Jongho responds.

"Jongho! You're on soon!" Another recognizable staff member comes over to collect the man in front of you. You avoid their icy gaze as Jongho wishes you both goodbye before being ushered away.

Downing the rest of your drink, you lead Jasper over to the dance floor, where people are simply mingling at the moment.

"He seems nice, good to see an old friend?" He asks you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

"Of course, I really miss them," You say. "But you seemed pretty thrilled to see him yourself, are you a fan?"

"Uh, well you know. I've heard a few songs..." Jasper mutters. You let out a snort.

"Aha! So now I know the real reason why you wanted to date me!" You giggle.

"Shh, you know that's not true!" He shushes you, still laughing along with you.

There's about another half hour or so before the opening ceremony starts and you happily run into a few people you've met at your club before, glad to have someone to socialize with in a place where most people already know each other. Jasper oddly enough runs into someone he's familiar with too. He excuses himself to talk to them as you chat with your own peers. That's when everyone's attention is called up to the front and cheers are being shouted as ATEEZ takes the stage.

"What's up, everyone!?" You recognize San's voice even though you can't see him as you attempt to hoist yourself up on your toes. You hear the boys continue to speak, thanking the crowd for coming and everything, as you try to push past the tall people in front of you. Luckily, they let you by, not realizing the height difference... unluckily, you yourself didn't realize how close to the front you actually were.

That's when you lock eyes with Hongjoong the moment he takes the mic. The feeling is so intimidating and surreal...  like his deep, brown eyes are boring right into you as if he's standing inches away from your face. You can practically feel, smell, and taste him all over again. Except he's on stage and you're just an audience member this time... and that's when you realize it's simply the memory of him that you're feeling right now.

"We've got some great new songs coming out for you tonight." His voice over the speaker pulls you out of your thoughts, but his eyes are still on you.

"Some very special people were a part of this comeback," Hongjoong says, sentiment lacing the tone of his voice. "I hope you enjoy."

Applause erupts all around you as the first song on the album begins its premiere. The roar of sound intensifies the twisting in your stomach as you stumble away from the dance floor, where people have begun to move to the music. It's like fighting your way through a crowd at your club, which you've done a million times, so why does it feel like you're about to be swallowed up? You feel someone grab your arm and turn to see Jasper.

"Hey, you okay?" He asks, concern written all over his face. You allow yourself to give him a faint smile before just explaining that you need to go to the bathroom. He leaves you to your own devices as you quickly strut down a corridor connecting to the lobby. Much to your relief, the women's restroom is only a few steps away.

You quickly lean against the counter, catching your breath. Unfortunately, you don't have much time before a loud group of drunk girls is bombarding the place. You quickly make your way into one of the stalls to hide away.

"My God! Please tell me you guys saw her!" The girls take over the counter, making themselves at home as they lean in to fix their makeup in the mirror.

"Poor thing looks so pathetic ever since Hongjoong kicked her to the curb!" Your heart sinks at the girl's comment.

"I wonder how she even got past security. What a desperate whore."

"I'm surprised she's not more busy jacking off the next big associate for her run-down club!"

You wipe a tear that you can't stop from spilling over as their laughter jeers into your ears. Your mind goes numb, unaware of the buzzing coming from your phone in your purse. Then you notice all of the girls pulling out their phones as well, painted red lips left a gap.

"Well, speak of the devil..." You furrow your brow in confusion, frantically reaching for your own phone. Your stomach drops at the news notification.

'Breaking: New Audio Tape Leaked from Club-Owner Ex of ATEEZ's Hongjoong' the headline reads.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know why I invited you in if I was just going to cry over my ex..." You hear your own weepy voice come from the other side of the stall. Everything you told Jasper last night, all of your private feelings, are there for the world to hear now. And it hurt more than any rumor that anyone could ever make up about you.

And it hurt, even more, realizing that this is what Jasper was listening to on his phone this morning...

You push the stall door open, ignoring the surprised exclamations of the girls as you rush past them. You run down the hallway, face flushed and hot from the tears running down from your eyes. The sight before you when you get back to the lobby sends a dreadful feeling down your spine.

Every face is lit up by a phone screen, either laughing mockingly or gasping in surprise. You ignore the people that recognize you when you walk by them, despite how they jester to you like you're some kind of circus attraction. You finally find Jasper in the crowd and your blood boils.

You storm up to him, not caring who is watching.

Hell, you can't even deny it anymore, the whole city has been watching you this whole time. You could take the rumors, the bullying, the slander. Until Hongjoong was dragged into it, you saw it as nothing but worthless attempts by a bunch of people miserable with their own lives to cut you down, someone who built yourself from the ground up, someone willing to take on what others never can. But to have someone that you trusted give away something so personal to you... that's where you couldn't take it anymore.

So... you might as well give everyone a show if that's what they really want.

"How fucking could you?" You yell, knowing the crowd is starting to circle around the two of you. You fully expected Jasper to sneer back at you like all the tabloid hustlers do. You figured that's who he secretly was this whole time. But he just stumbled back while letting out a shaky breath.  

"(Y/n)... I'm so sorry. Listen, my brother convinced me to do it. He said we would make some extra cash and..."

"Well, your brother is a pig just like you!" You spit. He reaches for your shoulder, but you quickly step away from his grasp.

"I didn't know they would leak it right now!" You scoff at him.

"Oh... so you're just sorry you got caught." That's when you grab a drink from a  tray held by a waiter standing near you and throw it right in his face, enticing surprised sounds from everyone.  

"I hope it was worth it, asshole..." You say, defeated. The gasps and flash of phones from the crowd only fuel your fury as you stomp out of the building.

At least now you know you had some part in the next big headline about you.

~

With shaking fingers, you squeeze your pillow further into your chest. It hadn't fully hit you what you had done until you got back home. You're sure the video of the scene you had previously made was making its way around social media as you spoke, which is why you left your phone in the living room, long forgotten.

You suddenly realized that you had just done all that in Hongjoong's company building... at his group's party. You had probably just ruined the entire night... or even everything for him. After all that work you put in to make sure you never got in the way of his dreams, you still fucked it all up.

You allow yourself to let out a sob from deep within your chest, not fully registering the rain that had suddenly started to hammer against your bedroom window.

And you also almost didn't hear the pounding at your door. You chose to ignore it, figuring it might be some type of reporter that wanted to get the full scoop of tonight's events. It's not the first time this has happened but fortunately enough, they normally get tired and go away.

But the knocking persists. You sigh and get up to run them off, making a mental note that it's time to invest in some security measures.

"What the fuck could you possibly want..." You begin to rant as you swing the door open. You immediately silence yourself as you realize Hongjoong's dripping figure is in front of you.

"(Y/n)..." He whispers, almost pleadingly. You freeze, but then quickly gather yourself as you usher him inside. You check to make sure there isn't anyone else lurking before slamming the door behind you.

"What are you doing here? Are you crazy?" But all he does is wrap you in his soaking embrace, making you shiver as his wet clothes come in contact with your dry skin.

"I'm so sorry. That should have never happened to you." He says with his lips pressed right by your ear.

"Hongjoong, please. You shouldn't be here right now." You try to pry his arms off of you but it's no use. You end up giving in, burying your tear-stained face in his shoulder. You let him stroke your hair as all the emotions of the night finally exhaust you, making you further collapse into him.

"I'm really sorry," You sniffle out. "I didn't mean to ruin everything..."

"Hey, hey. You didn't do anything. It was... that idiot. I made sure security got his ass right away." He pulls you away by your shoulders to look at you, to which you continue to look into his eyes, apologetically. It's no surprise that he knows exactly what's on your mind.

"You don't have to explain anything. Don't worry, I'm not here for that." He assures you. You just nod, looking down at his suit as it continues to drip rainwater all over your floor.

"Jeez, Joong. You're going to get sick like this! Let me run you a bath." With that, you're leading him up the stairs to your bedroom. He lets a sheepish grin take a hold of his face.

"I missed you calling me that." Your face flushes, bringing heat to your icy cheeks.

"We'll talk about this in the morning..." You remark, guiding him into your connected bathroom. You turn the warm water on in your bathtub, pulling out a robe and towel for him before leaving him be.

You sit on your bed, hugging your knees to your chest but mentally kick yourself for letting him stay. If he hadn't shown up in the rain, you would have turned him away, but you knew you couldn't do that while he was in this state.

The sound of buzzing pulls you out of your contemplation. You look over to the source of the noise, confused as you remember your phone is still in the living room. But then you see that it's Hongjoong's phone. He must have left it on your nightstand when you were getting the bath ready.

You pick it up, skimming through all the notifications and your heart sinks when you see that they are all either text messages or missed phone calls. He must have walked out of the party...

That's when a particular message catches your eye.

'Look at you! Proud of you for standing up for your girl! It's about time someone in the industry says something...'

Furrowing your brow in curiosity, you open his search engine and quickly type in 'Hongjoong ATEEZ' to which you are greeted with several videos. You click on the first one, turning the volume down when it starts off with the sound of a loud crowd.

"Everyone shut the fuck up!" Everything goes silent and your heart begins to pound as the person recording pans over to Hongjoong on the stage from tonight. The video had to have been taken only minutes after you had walked out.

"Cut the music!" The music from the new album pauses and you can feel the thick tension as if you are there yourself in that moment waiting for Hongjoong's next words.

"You should all be ashamed of yourselves, you know? (Y/n) is a human being... you all disgust me. You sit here and pick her apart as you buy into one tabloid after another and then when you finally see the truth... how hurt she really is, you still laugh at her? How would you feel if someone treated every detail of your personal life like it was just something to laugh about?" There's a pause with a couple remarks from the audience before he continues.

"I didn't get into this business for this. I thought this is what I loved... but it took everything I really loved from me." He looks behind him at his stunned members.

"I'm sorry... I've got some things to take care of. I'll see guys later." He addressed the boys as if the crowd isn't even there anymore... like they weren't the ones who owed the goodbye to. With that, he's placing the mic back on the stand and there's further commotion as he jumps off the stage, dodging some staff members before he takes off from the building.

Without thinking, your grip tightens around his phone and you barge into the bathroom. The water swishes around the tub as Hongjoong jumps at the sound of your entrance.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" You yell, holding up the video for him to see.

"Gosh, I'm glad we're back in the talking stage but... do I have to remind you that coming in without knocking isn't a part of that?" He jokes.

"Why would you say all of that? The company is going to have your head for it!" You ignore his banter.

"(Y/n) do you really think I care about what the company has to say right now?"

"You should! Otherwise..."

"Otherwise, what? They fire me? And I finally get to do what I really love which is be with you?"

For a while, there is only silence as you let his statement wash over you. You sigh, letting your arm holding up his phone fall to your side.

"Joong..."

"(Y/n), come here." He pats the side of the tub, and you drag your heavy limbs over to sit on the edge. You do your best to hide your blush as his bare, toned form comes more into view... despite you having seen it plenty of times before. He lets his wet, but warm hand fall into your lap to grab your own.

"When will you see that You aren't a burden to me. You aren't what is getting in the way of my dream... you are my dream. You're everything that is important to me."

"But the night in the club, you said you wanted to give your heart out to people through your music..." You say faintly, to which he squeezes your hand.

"That was a different time, my love..." You feel your breath hitch at the name. "Sure, I still share my heart through the music I write, but you're the one who's really had it all this time. Even when we were apart, I thought of you every single moment in and out of the studio..."

He pulls your hand over to his lips and you finally look at him.

"I love you, (Y/n). And I want to do what I love for the people I love. For the boys, the fans, and you. Please don't let the rest of the world ruin what we created again."

That's when you finally accept the truth that you refused to see because your fear of hurting Hongjoong got in the way. It was the nastiness of the world, envious of the beautiful and rare love you two had, that was destroying him, not you.

"Okay, Hongjoong, I love you too." You say, a smile of relief cracking through your tired expression. He moves to sit on his knees so he can reach up and stroke your cheek.

"You seem like you could use a warm bath too." He comments, winking up at you. You giggle, but before you know it, your breath is caught in your throat as his fingers trace to the back of your neck to undo the clasp of your dress. His eyes never leave yours as you feel him pull the zipper down, cool air hitting your exposed back.

"By the way... you looked beautiful tonight." He notes, with a lustful rasp tinting his voice. You briefly get up to let the dress fall into a pool at your ankles, quickly discarding your matching undergarments soon after. All while Hongjoong is watching you with his hungry, yet loving gaze.

You sit back down on the edge of the tub, this time with your legs dipping into the water. Hongjoong hastily makes his way between them, letting his hands run up and down your sides as he pulls you in for a kiss. You can't help the whimper that breaks your voice as the familiar softness of his lips on yours takes over your senses after so long.

"God, I missed you baby." Hongjoong groans against you, sending waves of arousal straight to your core. He moves to latch his lips onto your neck before letting his tongue glide freely up the skin. You buck into him, moaning when your wet cunt brushes against his cock, which is now growing harder.

"Joong, please touch me..." You plead as you card your fingers through your hair while he continues to suck on your neck. You shiver as you feel him smirk against you.

"Whatever my baby wants." With that, his kiss ventures further down your body. He pays special attention to your chest, sucking dark marks into your collarbone before pushing your breasts together and taking both of your nipples into his mouth at the same time.

"Mmm, yes!" You cry out, shamelessly as he happily delves back into territory he's explored before. One of your hands travels to the hair at the nape of his neck, slightly tugging when you feel his fingers caress the skin of the sides of your breast, sucking you deeper into his mouth, already sending you into overdrive.

He soon lets go with a resonating pop before continuing to ravage you, this time pressing harsher kisses down your stomach.

"Tell me, princess..." He utters as he stops just below your bellybutton and right above where you need him the most. "Did you miss me? Miss me touching you like this?"

You bite your lips as he scoots away to grab one of your ankles before pressing a kiss to the inside of it. You watch with lidded eyes as his lips travel further up your leg before stopping again at your inner thigh. He looks back up at you, waiting for your answer. You realize he won't continue unless you respond to him.

"Yes, Joongie... missed it so fucking much." You whimper, your hips rising to get closer to his face. He flashes you a smile before placing both of your thighs over his shoulders.

"Okay baby, hang tight." He finally lets his mouth hover over your core, his hot breath fanning against you makes you whine as you steady yourself by gripping the tub at either side of you. Your head becomes foggy at the first swipe of his tongue up your folds.

"Joong!" You moan, throwing your head back as he wastes no time in latching his lips onto your clit, moaning as your taste floods his tongue again. He grips your thighs, pulling them tighter around his head as he dives further into you. You can't help but start to grind against his tongue a little, pleasure taking over your mind. Every single worry you have slips away as they begin to be replaced with only thoughts of the man currently devouring you like he's been starved for ages.

"Baby, fuck! Don't stop!" Your grip tightens around the tub as he starts to lap circles around your clit. You feel your orgasm quickly approaching and Hongjoong can feel it too, sensing the movement of your walls clenching around nothing.

"Good girl, cum on my tongue for me. You can do it." His words and a few more laps of his tongue are all you need to fall over the edge. You let out one last breathy moan as he guides your shaking legs down from his shoulders, finally pulling you into the tub with him.

The water has a slight chill now but the warmth of Hongjoong's body makes up for it. You gather his lips back up in a kiss, tasting yourself on him as you straddle his lap. He pulls you as close as he can to him before letting his hands wonder down to squeeze your ass, making you moan into him.

Being with him like this after so long should feel strange, but it's like you two never left each other. It felt good just being able to pick up where you left off. You pull away to look into his eyes and you're met with his wide grin.

"What is it, my love?" He coos, reaching up to brush the hair out of your face.

"You still need to wash up." You tease, making him chuckle. The air becomes thick with overbearing sweetness. Hongjoong drops his lusty act as he runs shampoo through your hair, then wiping away the messy tear stains from the night as he washed your face, placing a kiss on each of your cheeks. Finally, he's messaging your body with some wash, making all the tension in your muscles fade away.

You gladly return the favor, keening when he leans his head back and close his eyes as you run warm water through his scalp with the shower head.

"Thanks for taking care of me, princess..." He whispers in a soft tone.

"I should be thanking you." You giggle, but then you tense up when you scoot closer to him, making your folds brush against his hard cock again. You both groan and his hands go flying to your hips.

"Sorry... got caught up in everything." You apologize. He gives you a small smile before pressing his lips to your temple.

"It's alright, baby. I could wait on you for centuries..." He coos. You shake your head.

"I'm not gonna make you wait a second more, Joong." With that, you start grinding your hips on him as you place the shower head back behind you. His head immediately lulls back against the tub as his grip on your hips tightens.

"Fuck, baby..." He moans before you reach down and guide his cock into you. You begin to bounce up and down his length, ignoring the movement of the water it makes. Hongjoong sits up more, wrapping his arms around you to be close with you once again. You moan as the angle makes his tip message your sweet spot with each movement of your hips, but you want to focus on making him feel good. So you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him, pouring out all of the love that you never stopped feeling for him.

"I missed you so much," He whispers against your lips. "Please don't ever leave again..."

His words tug at your heart so you kiss his forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere ever again, Joong." You vow.

"We'll figure everything out, don't worry. I'll talk to the company again if you want me to, I know that's what you..." You shush him, hugging him to your chest.

"Don't worry about that, baby. Just feel good right now, okay?" He hums, nuzzling closer to your breasts. He takes to opportunity to suck on one of your nipples again, making you clench around him.

"Oh, fuck!" He cries out, so you do it again for him.

"I love you so fucking much, (Y/n). So fucking tight..." He slurs, letting pleasure overtake him.

"I love you too, baby. Shhh, you're doing so well." His hold tightens on you even more at your praises. With a few more bounces, he comes undone inside of you. He cranes his neck up to kiss you again, moaning into your mouth as he rides out his high.

You keep up the pace you've set, combing your your fingers through his damp hair. When he's finished he settles you down onto his lap by splaying his hands over your thighs. He thanks you by adorning your lips in a series of loving pecks.

"Come on, let's get out of here." After one last kiss you get up off of his lap, climbing out of the tub with him following behind you.

Between kisses and giggles you both dry each other off with soft towels. He wraps one around your shoulders, pulling you to him so he can nuzzle his nose into yours. But the insatiable look returns to his eyes...

Before you know it, he's scooping you up in his arms as you yelp in surprise. He carries you out of the bathroom and over to your bed before laying you down gently.

"Hongjoong! What are you..." you go silent as he sits beside you on the edge of the bed, spreading your legs apart. You both stare in awe as you watch some of his cum gush out of you.

"Fuck, that's the hottest thing..." Hongjoong groans, dipping a finger into your entrance.

"Joong!" You jump at his touch, reminding you of how sensitive you still are. But it's short lived as he spreads the mix of your arousals across your clit, and your body begins to buzz with pleasure again. Hongjoong leans down right beside your ear as he continues to rub your clit, building up the knot in your core again.

"You look so pretty with my cum leaking out of you, baby." He breathes before taking the shell of your ear in between his teeth and moving two fingers to be inside you. The room fills with the wet sound of his fingers pounding your cunt, making you cry out.

"Will you be a good girl and let me give you more of my cum?" He muses. That's when you turn your head to see his lap where his cock is already hard and ready to go again, the sight of him dripping out of you doing just the job for him. You go to respond but the pads of his fingers rub up against your sweet spot while his thumb finds your clit, so all you do is nod.

He takes his hand away, but not before gathering a bit of the mixed essences on his fingertips. He sends you a dark look as he guides his fingers over to your lips.

"Open." He commands, simply. You let your lips part, welcoming his fingers in, and moan as the taste of his cum, as well as yours,  washes over your tongue.

"Mmm, what a good girl." He praises, before taking his fingers out and replacing it with his tongue, sighing into you when he also gets a taste.  

"What would the tabloids think if they knew you were such a dirty girl for me?" Hongjoong teases as he presses his forehead against yours. "Why don't we tell them and give them something to really talk about, huh?"

You can't help but moan at his words, to which he responds with that signature sexy laugh of his.

"Come here, pretty girl, you're so cold. Let me warm you up..." He pulls back the covers so you can get under them. You lie back down on your pillow as he climbs on top of you, pulling the duvet back over the two of you. You're so relaxed and warm between the soft sheets and Hongjoong's body that his cock slips easily back into you. The two of you moan, arms wrapping around each other, desperate to be as close to one another as possible after countless moments apart.

He doesn't hold back at all, beginning right off with deep strokes into you, determined to make up for all the lost time. You wrap your legs around him, raking your nails down his back as every thrust brings you closer to bliss.

"I love you, Hongjoong." You gasp out, overwhelmed by the love in the room.

"Shh, baby I love you too." One of his hands sneaks down to grab one of your thighs wrapped around him while the other supports his weight as it rests above your head, stroking your hair.

"You have my heart. I'm not gonna let you run off with it ever again." He says, before leaning in to kiss you. You shake your head, assuring him that it's something he wouldn't ever have to worry about again.

You let yourself drown in his presence, focusing on every stroke of his cock against your drenched walls while he whispers sweet nothings in your ear and showers you with kisses. It doesn't take much more than that to get you to cum for him again, calling out his name through the euphoria.

"Fuck, baby. Good job..." He praises you when he feels you clench around him. With a few more thrusts into your tightness, you feel the familiar warmness of his cum filling you up again. He moans into your neck, making sure to give you every last drop of him before pulling out with one last sweet kiss to your lips.

He quickly gathers you in his arms, still set on being close to you as if you'll slip away from him any moment. You latch onto him as if the same thing will happen with him as well.

But then he kisses your forehead and whispers...

"We're gonna be okay, you and I."

And you know it's true.

Hello and thank you for reading! This is a repost of the most recent work from my old blog to get my new one started! Please reblog, comment, and interact if you enjoyed! :)

[inkyajax]

Aventurine and his reader seem like a big headache for sunday hahaha have there been any instance where Sunday has tried to argue with reader about it? A big arguement about her seeing Aventurine and their toxic relationship?

beware i rambled and rambled and raaaambled about this because i love this selfship SO much hehe <3

ohhhh anon we/they most definitely are a massive headache for sunday; they’re the constant migraine gnawing at the backs of his eyes and tugging at his temples—which is to say, thoughts of them and their escapades of utter mischief are constantly infecting his mind, clawing at the edges of his conscious even when he is decidedly not thinking about it, honing his concentration on more urgent, more important matters.

because all we/they do is get into trouble together! upscale parties, obscene behaviour on the dance floor (in public, how despicable), rumours of risqué romps in the club washrooms, drugs and overdoses (thank the heavens aventurine possesses that so-called ‘luck’ of his, or they’d both be dead several times over, sunday is sure of it), nefarious photos slapped across the glossy tabloid covers that demote me from sunday’s precious, pretentious, classy Adult Star to something scandalous and sordid—reduced to trash, ruined. all of his hard work, his molding and mending of me into the perfect escort, elegant and expensive, destroyed after a few sloppy nights in aventurine’s arms. which translates to: sunday is constantly trying to ‘rebuild my image’ and ‘mitigate the damage’ aventurine inevitably causes.

sunday does try to talk to me/reader about this behaviour and the whole ‘relationship’ with aventurine, but there really isn’t much he can say, especially when aventurine isn’t forcing or coercing me into anything at all, and is literally just paying for my time/company. all other decisions are made with equal autonomy; aventurine doesn’t force me to do a single thing. sunday expresses his distaste, thinly veiled with worry and concern, but it’s ultimately up to me what i do with my clients.

as such, sunday is a bit torn. this whole situation challenges his utter NEED for ultimate control over her/me and subsequently also really triggers that desperation for complete and total power—to have everything organized meticulously, just the way he wants it. he hates that he is not a part of these decisions (since when did i stop coming to him for advice and guidance on every little thing?). at the same time, this is literally my fucking job, and he knows he cannot intervene. 

this whole gig was SUNDAY’s original idea anyway; the people of penacony deserve high class pleasure, he had told me softly; and oh, it’s such an honour that i get to give it to them, etc. sunday likes to delude himself into believing that he isn’t a glorified pimp—that he doesn’t own me, merely guides me, herds me in the right direction, like a careful shepherd with his loyal sheep. it’s all bullshit, at the end of the day.

anyway, he can’t just change the rules halfway through because he doesn’t like aventurine. and if aventurine keeps paying me to come out, there’s literally nothing sunday can do to stop it. at that point, it’s not a ‘relationship’, it’s merely a transaction. and it isn’t even like sunday can raise the prices—no matter how much a night with me costs, aventurine can surely and easily afford it. 

[celestiall0tus]

Miraculous Salvation - Chapter 1 - Separate Worlds

Beginning || Previous || Next ||

            Kagami strolled beside her mother, Tomoe Tsurugi. The summer sun cooked her. Silent curses tore through her. She should have stayed in her school uniform, but took a chance and switched into a black, long-sleeved crop top, black military pants, and boots. Though she hadn’t expected Tomoe to take a detour to a park. They normally returned home at this time. She had attempted to ask Tomoe but was ordered to keep quiet.

            Kagami let out a quiet sigh as she looked around. The park filled with people as schools let out for summer holiday. Children ran around with siblings and friends in the carefree summer afternoon. Teenagers laid out in the shade or strolled along the walkways, engaged in conversation. It mirrored the adults that passed through the area. It reminded her of the functions she attended with Tomoe, but so much more.

            Kagami was forced to mingle with Paris’s modern day “nobility” due to Tomoe being a major CEO and herself the heiress to Tomoe’s empire. She had to interact with other heirs and heiresses to their family empires and fortunes. She didn’t enjoy the mindless business talk that she endured during those times. Not like now while she listened to her peers prattle on about their lives, idle conversation about flights of fantasy, and scandalous gossip. The snippets she heard were far more intriguing than the chatter of the privileged.

            “Eyes forward, Kagami. Keep your mind focused,” Tomoe ordered.

            Kagami opened her mouth to protest, then resigned. She kept her eyes forward and attempted to block out the chatter, but she still caught snippets. Girls squealed over the latest release of advertisements from the Agreste brand that featured Adrien Agreste, the Agreste heir and poster boy. Boys and girls whispered about a girl named Marinette and the appearance she’d be making at the park soon. The whispers soon took over all the conversations she heard.

            Kagami tilted her head as she listened to these conversations. They varied to praise of admiration for her gentleness and kindness, declarations of love for the vision of beauty she was, to devote worship for the goddess they claimed her to be. She was no stranger to these whispers as she heard them about Adrien, but these put him to shame. She wondered what kind of person this Marinette was to put the fabulous Agreste model to utter shame.

            Kagami was broken from her thoughts when she bumped into Tomoe. Fear and bile rose and caught in her throat. She stepped back and stood at attention.

            “Kagami, what has you distracted?”

            “I was just listening to people’s conversations.”

            “Kagami, I don’t care if you eavesdrop, but don’t waste your time with these common folk. They don’t have anything worth our time.”

            “Forgive me, Mother. I heard Adrien’s name and became lost in thought.”

            Tomoe hummed. She gave a small nod while she continued to a bench under some shade trees. She placed her cane on it and took a seat. Kagami followed suit and sat beside her.

            Kagami looked forward while she stole glances at Tomoe. Tomoe didn’t say another word to her and bowed her head. She frowned, assuming that Tomoe was meditating. Annoyance bubbled near the surface being out in the park while they could have done this at home like they usually did.

            “Clear your mind, Kagami. Your annoyance is distracting me,” Tomoe remarked.

            Kagami frowned and sighed. She closed her eyes and bowed her head, joining Tomoe in meditation. She attempted to clear her mind, but the buzz of the crowd kept her attention. She cracked open an eye as a bizarre group of her peers charged into the park.

            A short girl with wild, red blazing hair and tattered clothes and a tall, muscular guy with the sides of his head shaved and a small, stubby blonde mohawk lined the top of his head. The two tackled and fought as they each attempted to get the upper hand but were evenly matched. Behind them, a dark-skinned guy with an orange baseball cap, t-shirt, and shorts ran around the duo and hit the fountain.

            “Woohoo! I win!”

            “No fair, Nino!” the girl yelled.

            “It’s totally fair, my dudes. One must only use their brain to get the upper hand.”

            Kagami scrunched her face. She didn’t like how Nino talked. Something about it rubbed her the wrong way. Just like the countless other times she heard other teens speak just like him.

            A small group of younger teens approached the girl and asked about Marinette. The girl snarled, uttered every curse under the sun, then flipped them off before the group was sent running.

            “Easy, Alix, they’re just her fans,” the guy said.

            “I don’t fucking care, Kim! Is she fucking here? No. So, don’t fucking bother me about it.”

            Kagami’s eyes widened as she processed Alix’s outburst. She was no stranger to such ruthlessness, but not one so crass. Sure, she’d heard other people swear, but nothing like that Alix girl.

            A girl with short blonde hair in a sleeveless white button-up shirt, pink skirt and stockings, with brown boots stood in front of Alix. She crossed her arms and glared down at Alix.

            “Be nice, Alix. You don’t have to speak like a sailor to give them a simple answer.”

            “Off my back, Rose. You’d get fed up too if people constantly asked where is Marinette.”

            “No, I don’t. I--,” Rose started.

            A tall girl walked up and placed a hand on Rose’s shoulder. She had waist-length raven black hair with the ends and a section of hair over her right eye dyed purple. She wore a black short dress with sheer, puffy sleeves, stockings, and platform combat boots. She held an umbrella that shielded her from the worst of the sun’s rays.

            “You do get tired of hearing it, you just know how to hand it in a diplomatic manner,” the girl said.

            Kagami had to focus on the girl’s whispery words to hear them. Something about the girl sent chills through her but intrigued her. She had seen many pale girls like this one that dressed in all black, but none had an air about them like this girl did.

            “Hey, Juleka. Where’s your bro?” Nino asked.

            “Arriving soon. He got caught up at home.”

            Kim scoffed. “Oh yeah? What’s his excuse this time? Which guitar is he bringing?”

            Juleka looked down at Kim with a menacing glint to her exposed eye. Kim gulped and backed away. Juleka huffed and moved to sit at the bench next to Kagami. Rose trotted over and snuggled up to Juleka under the umbrella. Kim and Alix ran off while Nino sat in the grass at the base of a shade tree.

            Kagami blinked. Such a bizarre group of people. Typically when she saw large groups of friends, they were all alike, but not these people. She could understand that like attracts like, but all of them were so different. How did they become friends? How do they maintain such a friendship with a wide array of individuals? Especially when none of them seemed to share anything in common.

            “Kagami, what has you distracted still?” Tomoe barked.

            Kagami flinched. “It’s-.”

            “Honestly, Kagami, I expect better of you. This is far from the first time you’ve mediated with me in public. You should be able to focus better than this.”

            “Mother, I-.”

            “Enough. I don’t want to hear your excuses. We’re staying here until-.”

            “Pardon me,” Juleka said.

            Kagami turned to look at Juleka, who stood before her and Tomoe. Tomoe kept her head bowed, but her attention was on Juleka.

            “My sincerest apologies. I’ve no doubt that it was my friends that distracted your daughter from her mediations,” Juleka explained.

            “I see. I appreciate your forwardness, but I must ask you and your friends leave the area,” Tomoe said.

            Juleka smiled. She signaled Rose, who signaled Nino. He smiled and pulled out his speakers and put his music on full blast. Kagami sneered at the nightclub music choice while Tomoe covered her ears. Tomoe opened her mouth to speak but was cut off when Alix and Kim returned.

            “Yo! Is it time to party? Where’s Mari and the snacks?” Alix demanded.

            “On the way, Alix. She should be walking up with Bridgette any moment now,” Juleka said.

            Alix let out a triumph roar. Tomoe growled and grabbed Kagami’s wrist.

            “Let’s go, Kagami. I won’t have you near such horrible delinquents. Your parents should all be ashamed of you all.”

            Alix and Kim smiled at the remark and Juleka giggled.

            Tomoe snatched her cane and dragged Kagami behind her. Kagami looked back at the strangers. All had moved on from her except for Juleka, who smiled and waved goodbye. She attempted to wave back, but Tomoe yanked on her arm. She stumbled but caught herself.

            “Honestly. Such foul children. What is this city coming to? Let’s go home, Kagami.”

            Kagami perked up at the declaration. She turned back, her eyes settling on Juleka. Did Juleka know? Was Juleka as in-tune as Tomoe to emotions and picked up on her feelings? Or did Juleka take a shot in the dark? She wished she could find out, but she’d never seen those teens again. Not if Tomoe had any say in it.

            Kagami sighed silently and resigned herself.

~~

            Luka sat at his desk as he worked tirelessly on his music. Pages of music were scattered across the surface as he attempted to piece together his first song. He shook his head and crumbled up the piece he was working on. He threw it at his wastebin that overflowed with scraped drafts. He huffed and leaned back. He stared at the ceiling before he looked over at the guitar that hung on the wall over his bed.

            It was the first guitar that Luka had owned, given to him by his mother, Anarka. On it was her signature. His mind wandered back to the day that she signed it. She told him how she used to work alongside rock legend, Jagged Stone, back in the day. How she helped him with everything. She wrote his songs, music, and performed with him. She was a true wonder woman. She was in the fast lane to success, but she gave that all up for him and Juleka.

            Phantom guilt struck Luka’s heart. Anarka could have made it big, but she gave it all up. She had traded a life of fame and luxury to raise him and Juleka, a pair of bastards, in a houseboat docked in the Seine. Even if she seemed to enjoy this life, it didn’t make sense to him. How could she give up all that skill and experience for a life like this?

            Luka made a promise to Anarka after that day. He would follow in her footsteps. He’d become a famous musician in her honor and to carry on her legacy. He smiled as he remembered the pride that was in her eyes. He worked tirelessly since then. He learned to play the guitar, violin, and keyboard, with his eyes set on more. He trained his voice for years to be able to sing his own songs, but that was where he was failing her. He could read and write music notes, but not lyrics. He could always hear the words so clearly but when it came time to write them down, there was nothing.

            Luka didn’t know what he was missing. He listened to all the legends and their classics. Listened to their works and absorbed the meanings and messages of each song. He had even uncovered Anarka’s old works and studied them. Yet, no matter what he did, nothing came to him. What was it that he was missing? What did he lack to make songs just as Anarka and so many others have before him?

            Luka shook his head and looked back at his work. He would figure it out. Nothing would stop him. He grabbed his phone and played some of Jagged Stone’s old songs and worked. He worked until the sun set and Juleka returned.

            Juleka pushed open Luka’s door and peeked inside. He was hunched over his desk, working on his music. She sighed and snuck in. She crawled onto his bed and laid her head down.

            “No rest for the wicked, Brother?” Juleka asked.

            Luka jumped and turned off his music. He turned towards Juleka with a panicked look on his face.

            “We need to get you a bell or something, Jule.”

            “Dear Brother, I have plenty of bells. Though they are best saved for my rituals. Don’t need to taint them with unnecessary energies and spirits.”

            Luka sighed and stared at his papers.

            “Brother? What’s wrong?”

            “Do you think it’ll take a ritual for me to write songs?”

            Juleka shook her head. “I told you. You don’t need rituals to find your muse. You need to do that on your own. Let it come to you.”

            “How? How do I make it come to me?”

            “You can’t. It comes and goes as it pleases. And what you’re doing certainly isn’t helping.”

            “Then what can I do?”

            “I don’t know. Maybe take a break?”

            “I can’t.”

            “Brother, something has to give. If you keep going like this, you’ll never find your muse and you’ll never be a songwriter.”

            Luka didn’t respond.

            “Look, I know. You want to live up to Mom’s legacy, but how’ll she feel seeing you push yourself to the point of literal mental strain and exhaustion over something like this?”

            Luka sighed. “Alright. You win. What do you suggest?”

            “Well, I brought dinner home. Mom isn’t back yet, but she can always heat hers up. We can start there. Maybe have a little jam session after we eat?”

            Luka smiled. “I’d love that.”

            “And maybe tomorrow you can hang out with all of us? We’ll be here so you either can sit in here, or join us.”

            Luka grimaced. “I don’t know about that.”

            “Oh, c’mon. It’ll be fun. Everyone will be there. Even Marinette.”

            Luka’s eyes widened slightly. His heart raced as a sweet melody played in his head. He covered his mouth and looked away.

            “I don’t know.”

            “C’mon, it’ll be fun. You can hang with all of us, rub elbows with other artists, and finally meet Marinette instead of, y’know, being a little bitch.”

            Luka huffed.

            Juleka giggled. “Don’t worry. Marc does the same thing with everyone. So, what do you say?”

            “We’ll see.”

            “I’ll take it. Now, let’s eat. You have to be hungry.”

            Luka’s stomach growled in response. Juleka blinked and laughed while Luka looked away.

            “Alright, let’s go.”

[uyuforu]

He couldn't forgive himself for treating women as objects, jst fcking around..but the scandal with the tattoo artist, he was comfortably hugging her..whn the world was basing her, he Didn't evn uttered a word, would he be like this to his fs too.. wouldn't care if people hate her, with virgo stellium I don't even he would cheat his fs

I mean, to be honest, that situation was a bit fucked up. I don’t know if something was going on with her, I didn’t read that (on the cards I mean). But in any cases, we don’t know. It’s true Jungkook is Korean and they don’t hug much, mostly men with women if they are friends. But let’s not make assumptions.

The thing is, if he talked and defended her, it would have been more obvious something was going on. And I think I never saw idols personally said something to their fans like that? For work and for legal reasons I think it’s better for the company to say something than the idol.

I wasn’t saying jk would cheat, I was just saying people with this placement can tend to do so. But I don’t think that is the case with Jk and his other placements.

Also, I think these situations are more complicated than what it seems. If you are a foreigner, I think you think this with a foreigner mind: foreign celebrities talk often for their own lives to their fans or the press. While Koreans celebrities tend to not do so, and often apologizes to the public than anything else. They don’t say much. Because it’s obviously not the fans’ business in the end.

Overall, Jungkook is a big boy, he is an adult. He takes responsibilities for his actions, like the day he was caught driving and being a bit drunk lol. We all make mistakes and it’s part of Jk’s lifetime lesson to learn and accept that about him.

- uyu

[seidanguard]

✂ time to finally end Darrius

MURDER MEME || always open || @chxxseyourfighter

Justice was a solemn obligation. Solemn and sometimes painful.

He stood next to Darrius on the stage in the public amphitheatre, gazing upon the hundreds and hundreds of restrained Resistance members, on their knees like their leader.

These had all once been normal Seidan citizens but got caught up in the web of romantic lies that Darrius manipulated them with. Now they were terrorists. Enemies of the state--and they would pay. Although criminals, they were also victims in a way, and Hotaru understood how they came to be that way.

They had been partners in the Guard. Friends. They worked well together and covered each other's weaknesses. They talked to each other. They understood each other. Until they didn't. It only took one moment, one awful moment, to erase centuries of friendship and to become enemies as if from the dawn of time. Hotaru knew this well.

Hotaru had unshakeable faith in the Senate. Just because the two guards happened upon a shady deal between two senators did not mean that it was their place to charge in and disrupt the order of the State to prosecute politicians. But the fact that it broke Darrius, it broke his resolve and loyalty and faith and turned him into a monster--that meant he had been fooled; that there had been red flags and warning signs that Hotaru should have seen. But looking back, even now, he could not see them. Darrius was a liar, a born liar, and had never truly been his friend.

Next to each prisoner in the vast crowd below them stood a member of Seidan law enforcement - some were members of the Guard and some were provincial security. Each had a weapon at the neck of their prisoner.

Hotaru looked down at Darrius. Darrius was calm. Cool. Collected. Looking at his people. One might think that he cared about them. But Darrius cared for nobody but himself. He was as willing to sacrifice his followers as he was to slaughter innocent civilians for his "cause" - a cruel and losing cause.

Hotaru had prepared a speech for this moment. He was utterly unable to stick to it. Instead he spoke what came to him. If anybody found out, they would be scandalized.

"Today marks the end of the scourge that was your apostate Resistance," Hotaru said. "You betrayed your families. You betrayed your friends. You betrayed that child, that innocent child you never knew, whose life you violently stole in smoke and flame and hubris. Your legacy will be as terrorists who brought senseless death and disorder to innocent people for a repugnant cause."

He stared out. With blades to their necks, these resistance members suddenly had nothing to say.

Darrius still gazed out cooly, ignoring Hotaru. No shame. No regret. Defiant to the very end.

Hotaru, stone-straight and gazing out, spoke softly so that he could not be heard by the crowd. "The fate you promised your people."

Hotaru nodded.

The juicy sound of hundreds of throats being sliced in unison reverberated throughout the amphitheatre. Utter silence followed.

Hotaru said one more thing to his old friend.

"I hope it was worth it."

Without looking down, Hotaru slit Darrius' throat.

It was over. Seido and its innocent civilians were finally safe; the legendary Seidan Guard living up to their reputation quashing the Resistance. Darrius would never hurt anybody again. The Seidan Guard would never have to hunt him down, gather intelligence about him, intercept him. No more games of cat-and-mouse. No more presence in Hotaru's mind.

Hotaru was not surprised that he suddenly felt alone.

[bobastay]

𝕬 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝕮𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖀𝖕 𝖎𝖓 𝕿𝖆𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖎𝖉𝖘

'A Heart Caught Up in Tabloids'

Hongjoong x fem!reader

You're a club owner dating Hongjoong and when your relationship becomes the target of several tabloids, you break it off to protect him. But was it the right decision?

Song recs: 'LA FAMA' by ROSALÍA, 'All I Know So Far' by P!nk, 'off the table' by Ariana Grande, 'Be With You' by ATEEZ, 'coffee' by Miguel

Word Count: 9.4k

Genre: Smut (18+ minors DNI), Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Smut, mature content (18+ minors DNI), angst, slight violence, fights, breakup, reader dates a fictional character for a bit, negative self-talk, heightened dramatic scenes, mature themes, mentions of drugs and prostitution, alcohol use, degrading terms directed at the reader (slut, whore), involves fictional depictions of idol scandals and drama and how their companies deal with it, makeup sex, unprotected sex, oral/fingering (fem. receiving), praise kink, cum play, cum eating, slight marking, creampie, etc...

You hug your knees closer to your chest, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill down your face like the raindrops that glide down the glass, patio doors. Your head fills with the sound of Hongjoong shouting in the living room.

"I don't see why you're still upset. There shouldn't be a problem anymore if you took care of it like you said!" You hear him utter through gritted teeth. The voice on the other end of his phone is so furious that you can hear the gravel-like shrillness of it even through his bedroom door.

"We've already discussed this, it's out of the question." Your lip trembles as you shift on his bed, feeling the tension practically seep through the walls. "I'm not doing that."

The other voice grumbles another comment, and you jump at the sound of glass breaking not long after.

"Listen here, you son of a bitch!" Hongjoong yells. "I'm not breaking up with her! I'll be damned if I leave the best thing that has ever happened to me before I leave the fucking company that would have rotted into the ground if I hadn't walked through its door!"

You want to scream at him, beg for him to stop. You couldn't stand the thought of him throwing away everything he had worked for just for you. But this was the nth time you've put his dreams in danger...

You're the owner of a club best known for its front-page scandals. Previous owners had let the place become a playground for drug peddling, prostitution... things that idols wouldn't dare be involved in. But ever since you took over, you put an end to all of it, turning it back into a place where people can have a good time safely.

It was something that Honjoong respected about you. The two of you met when he snuck into your club one night and when people found him out, you helped him hide.

~

"I want to give my heart out to people, I really do..." He contemplated over the beers you were sharing with him in the dimly lit back room. "It's why I make music."

You nodded as you listened to him, taking a swig of your drink before licking your lips.

"But I don't want to lose it either, ya know? I don't want this business to take it away from me." You laugh at his conflicting statement.

"Well, you either keep it in your chest or you don't. You've got to decide..." Your eyes wander over to his face to see that he's been looking at you keenly. The heat radiating off of his gaze transfers across your cheeks.

He had his eye on you from the moment you pulled him out of the swarm of people and helped him find refuge. All of his feelings were made apparent within the sparkle of his dark eyes. He really did want to give his heart out to others... and at that moment he was giving it to you.

"Okay, I think I've decided." He whispers in a low voice, before leaning in to kiss you.

~

You never loved anyone like you loved him and Hongjoong never loved anyone like he loved you. Everything you had with him was something that some people only got to dream about. But ever since the tabloids caught news that you were his girlfriend, life had been a nightmare.

The company that Hongjoong's group was under despised you. Mostly because they had gotten call after call from some lowly journalist with the blackmail of rumors about you that would taint Hongjoong's career. And if they didn't get paid to shut it down it, it would be headlining every gossip magazine or website the next morning.

They tried to make you out to be as bad as the other owners of your club. That you are just as involved with the crimes that falsely continue to take place behind the scenes, that you slut yourself out to major investors... horrible claims filed one after the other. This time it got really bad with one of the tabloids threatening to publish that you had finally dragged Hongjoong into all of your supposed affairs. The company was absolutely furious over what your relationship was costing them. They wanted you gone, out of his life for good.

But you could care less about what they think. It was Hongjoong that was your only concern. You could never forgive yourself if you were the reason, he lost everything. Every day was starting to feel like another ball of anxiety to tackle. You didn't know what the company would do about him if he kept seeing you...

And it's this realization that makes you decide on your next move.

You flinch when the door opens and Hongjoong walks into the room as if he's stepping on eggshells. He lets a small smile crack through his pained expression. You let the tears finally fall at the sight of him.

"I'm- I'm sorry." You sob, burying your face in your hands.

"Hey! No, no, no..." He quickly goes to sit next to you on the bed, collecting you in his arms. "It's not your fault, baby."

He gently grabs your wrist to remove them from your face, looking into your eyes with his own, sad ones that betray the assuring smile painted on his lips.

"The company needs to know that there are certain boundaries that I have. Our relationship is one of them. I just had to be assertive, that's all." You look at him in disbelief.

"Joong, you broke some glass!" He sighs, knowing that there's truth to your statement.

"I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry I let my anger control me while you were around, I promise..."

"I can't do this anymore..." You cut him off. He scans your face as if he's searching for what you could possibly mean.

"W-what?" He stammers, and your heart twinges at the lost look in his eyes.

"Can't you see that I'm the reason why everything with you, the company, and the tabloids... everything in your career, everything you've worked your ass off for... has gone to shit!? Joong, I'm your burden..."

"No! Don't you dare say that!" His eyes begin to water as he shakes his head. You cup his face in your hands, placing a bittersweet kiss to his lips through both of your tears.

"I don't want to hurt you, Joong. I'm scared it's only a matter of time before the company... is at its final straw with you." You swallow the lump in your throat, gathering yourself to say the next part of your tangent. "We're better off apart..."

With that, you get up off his bed to leave, the crispness of his blue, velvet comforter almost stinging beneath your fingertips. He runs after you, grabbing your wrist to stop you.

"Y/n... please. Don't do this. We can figure all of this out, we've done it before." You refuse to meet his gaze. His broken sobs are enough to make you want to stay. But you deny yourself, pulling away from his grasp.

"Yet it keeps happening, and it won't stop until I'm gone. You deserve to live your dreams without dealing with any of this bullshit." You sniffle out. For the first time, he's at a lost for words. Hongjoong, the man who loves pouring out his heart to people through all of the words he writes... finally has none to say.

I'll come back for my things in the morning... get some sleep." You tell him as you open the front door.

"Dammit, Y/n!" His cry of defeat makes you whip your head around. You immediately wish you hadn't. The tears that stain his cheeks make his beautiful face look cracked, resembling the glass he had shattered earlier. His smile he had worked so hard to muster in order to comfort you, to make it seem like it would all be okay for real this time, had finally failed.

"Please, don't go, baby..."

His pleads fall on your ears, numb to the emotion and truth behind them.

"I told you to keep it in your chest, Hongjoong," You mutter, regretfully. "And you should've listened."

And just like that, you're shutting his door behind you, taking everything off the table with you.

~

You bounce your legs nervously in the passenger seat.

"Do you uh... wanna come in?" The words that you had asked only moments ago were ringing inside your head. But the man beside you only smiled warmly, clashing with the cool jade-colored streaks in his dark hair.

"Sure!" Your date for the night, Jasper, replied shortly. You sigh in relief.

"Wonderful." You both get out of his car once he's pulled all the way into your driveway.

You weren't sure if you were in your right mind or not as you shakily handle your keys. Were you moving on too quickly?

You had no idea how you ended up here tonight with the charming boy. Jasper had become a regular at your club not long after your breakup and just when you had convinced yourself you should never fall for customers again... he had finally wooed you with his charm.

He officially asked you out last week and with ample time to think and encouragement from your girlfriends, you agreed. You were a nervous wreck the whole night, but luckily, he was a gentleman. He assured you that he found your clumsiness to be endearing.

You turn on the hallway light and he closes your front door behind him. He offers to take your coat as you shrug it off your shoulders, hanging it up on the rack beside him.

"Thank you." You say, blushing when you see the twinkle in his eyes behind his round glasses.

"My pleasure." He notes as you lead him further into the house.

"Sorry, I know it seems a little dreary in here with it being just me and all." You apologize as he follows you around the broad corridors.

"Are you kidding?!" He cups his hands around his mouth and bellows. "It's massive in here!" You giggle as his voice echoes off of the walls. You couldn't deny that being a club owner had its perks, the money being one of them.

"I hope you wouldn't mind me using your bathroom." He remarks, turning back to you. "But I understand if you want to keep your golden toilet spotless."

"Of course, I don't mind!" You snicker, pointing in its direction.

With that, he skips off. Honestly, how did a guy this polite find his way to your club full of rowdy attendants?

You let out a sigh of relief as you let yourself sink into your large couch. A few moments later, you hear the bathroom door opening and closing as Jasper comes around the corner and into the living room, lips raised up in a teasing smirk.

"Uh, I don't mean to intrude but I'm gonna assume this isn't a picture of you with your brother in there..." Your eyes go wide as you remember the photo in that bathroom of you and Hongjoong on a holiday together, lips locked in a kiss.

"Shit! I am so sorry." You quickly get up, attempting to make your way toward the bathroom so you can put the picture away. " I keep forgetting that's in there."

"It's no problem! But... there's not a Mr. around here I need to worry about, right." Your breath hitches when he catches you and spins you around by your waist to look at him. His tall, lean form hovers over you as his lips do the same inches away from yours...

"Cause... I don't mind that ya know? It's actually kind of a turn-on." He finally gifts you with a small peck. "Just give me a heads-up next time."

You can tell he's joking; he's always cutting up at the bar. You smack him on the shoulder in response.

"Easy there, this isn't a kdrama!" You scold him, to which he only chuckles.

"Are you sure? I just went on a date with one of the most loaded women in the city. Not to mention all of your fame from the scandals with..." His eyes go wide as he realizes what he's about to say. You know he doesn't mean any harm, but you can't help but let your heart sink. Even to this day, the tabloids still continue to talk of your split with Hongjoong. Everyone who has eyes and ears knows about the two of you.

"I'm... sorry. It was on my mind, and it just slipped out. It was totally out of line." He says, clearing his throat. You shake your head.

"It's okay. I'm not naive to the things people have read about me." His expression drops as he takes your hand.

"They shouldn't believe the things they read. Because you're much more than what those shithead interns write about you." He brings your knuckles to his lips and the old-fashioned gesture makes crimson tint your cheeks and under your eyes.

"You're just sweet talking." You tease. He lets out another deep chuckle as he pulls you down onto the couch with him.

"Don't believe me? I can show you if you want..." He says before locking his lips with yours.

"Oh wait, now I see. You were just saying that to get in my pants." You laugh when his hands come up to tickle your sides.

"Would you stop! I'm really trying not to be a total wreck in front of a gorgeous girl like you." Now it's his handsome features that are stained red.

"I know. I'm just messing with you." You give him a peck on the lips and curse yourself when you look into his eyes and start to see Hongjoong's...

In an instant, your mood changes and you scoot away from him. Your eyes grow cold and teary as they train onto the floor.

"Hey, what's wrong? Did I overstep, I'm sorry..." His hand comes up to stroke your arm, comfortingly. Again, you're reminded of Hongjoong.

"No, you didn't do anything. I'm sorry I just..." You decide that being honest is the right thing to do. "I... still think about him a lot."

A tense silence fills the air as you bite your lip, continuing to avoid his gaze. After a while, you hear him hum.

"That's totally normal, (Y/n). You don't have to be sorry for that." His assuring words make your lip tremble as you begin to feel tears spill over.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know why I invited you in if I was just going to cry over my ex..." He shakes his head, wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

"Hey, it's fine. I'm here for you. It's no easy business... having to let go of someone you love." His thumbs rub into your skin, soothingly. "Well, at least I assume you loved him."

You softly laugh at his joking comment.

"I did... I do."

"And that's completely fine. I take no offense." You look up at Jasper, sadly. He really was a nice guy and no matter how reassuring he was, you would always feel bad about dragging him into the mess that felt like your life right now.

"I really had fun tonight. You're a great guy, Jasper," Your hand comes up to meet one of his. "Maybe if it were any other time..."

"I understand," He says, yet he cranes his head down to rest it on your shoulder. "Could I... still stay here and hold you for the night? I just really like you. I'll let you talk to me... and I'll listen to every word you say."

His presence really does bring you comfort, drying your tears.

"Okay..." You agree, letting yourself sink into the bed with him. He does as he promised, listening and hanging on to your every word... as if he's going to write them down and use them for later. You stay like this until you both drift off the sleep.

~

The next morning you wake up, cradling one of the decorative pillows adorning your couch, still clad in your dress from last night. You hear shuffling beside you and turn to see Jasper with his back facing you. He's got his phone held up to his ear as if he's listening to something... but it's too quiet for you to hear.

"Jasp?" He yanks his phone away from his ear immediately, shutting it off.

"Oh, good morning. I didn't know you were awake." He laughs nervously before leaning down to kiss your forehead. You hum in content.

"I'm sorry you had to sleep like this last night." You say, referring to him in his dress clothes.

"Oh! Don't worry, it's no problem at all." He says, flashing you a half-smile. He gets up to nudge his shoes back onto his feet.

"I've gotta run, sorry I can't stay longer." You lift yourself up, fighting the slight stiffness in your neck.

"It's no problem! I'll walk you out." You tell him.

You watch him get in his car from your front door, waving him goodbye. Once you're back inside, you feel a slight tinge of satisfaction with how things went between you... despite the part where you cried like a baby over Hongjoong.

You facepalm as you begin to worry about what he must think of you now. But at the same time, he did offer to willingly listen.

That's when you're pulled out of your thoughts by the buzzing of your phone coming from the living room. You walk back over, curiously ogling at your screen. A frown washes over your face when you see the call is from an unknown number.

"Hello?" You ask when you go to answer it.

"(Y/n)... um, hi!" Your stomach drops at the familiar voice.

"Y-Yunho?" You can barely believe that you're speaking the name that you are right now, but make a mental not that you should save his number anyway.

"It's been a while! How have you been?" Hongjoong's fellow member asks you.

"Oh, um... I've been good! How about you?" You ask, shifting the weight between your feet awkwardly.

"I'm doing good too! Busy but good, thanks for asking!" When you and Hongjoong were dating, the other members welcomed you like family. Even after the breakup, they all stayed in touch with you, and you were thankful that they didn't let it change the way they saw you. The boys were some of the nicest people you knew, always being supportive of the two of you through everything.

It was always nice to have someone from outside of all the chaos by your side.

Still, there's an unusual awkward silence when he finishes. You clear your throat as you try to make up your mind on what to say next.

"Um, so what's been going on?" You ask.

"Well, I wanted to ask you a favor..." He started, pausing as if he's waiting for you to say something already.

"Shoot." You say. Seemingly relieved, he continues on.

"Are you busy tonight?" You cock your head to the side in confusion.

"Uh... I was thinking about stopping by the club later to check on everything, but I've gotta plenty of people holding it down tonight." You can almost feel his breath hitch on the other line.

"Why?" You ask him.

"Our... comeback party is going to be later this evening. If you don't have anything planned... the guys and I would love it if you came!" He manages to get out. Your thoughts begin to run wild.

"Yunho... does Hongjoong know you're inviting me to this?" There's another pause before he sighs.

"(Y/n), I'm really sorry about this being so last minute... You deserved to have an official invitation mailed to you and everything. After all, you were pretty much a part of this album."

You feel your lips go up in a weak smile as a memory comes to your mind. All the sleepless nights you spent with Hongjoong in the studio were some of the best. You saw many of the seeds planted for these songs from your seat in his lap as he played them for you, distracting himself by showering you in kisses just to hear you giggle.

"I promise you I wouldn't have called if I didn't think he needed you right this very minute. Hell, he's needed you this whole time (Y/n)." Yunho continues.

"Is he... okay?" You bring yourself to ask. The sigh that he responds with gives you all the answers you need.

"God no, (Y/n)..." He responds anyway. "He's far from it. He tries to hide it the best he can, but he's not fooling anyone."

That sounds like your Hongjoong, alright. You start to feel the familiar sting of tears at the corner of your eye as regret washes over you.

"I'm sorry, Yun... I never wanted things to turn out the way they did." Is all you can say before having to cut your own broken voice off.

"I know you didn't. No one blames you, not even Hongjoong," You falter when his name finally comes out. "But... if he could see you tonight I promise you it would bring him back."

"Yunho, I don't think that's a good idea," You utter through your top teeth as they bite down on your bottom lip. "With the cameras and..."

"I'll take care of that. You don't have to worry, I'll get security to keep the tabloids out and only our approved press will be allowed in."

"A-are you sure?" You sniffle.

"Yes, I promise. Please, (Y/n). You can even bring a date for all I care and really give him the message that he needs to suck it up and move on." He laughs.

You crack a smile back, knowing deep down you would love to see him again despite all sense of logic that you had screaming at you not to. You would just have to push it to the side and tell yourself it was just for one night...

"Okay... I'll be there, probably with a date. I don't think I can go in alone, you know."

"I understand, thank you so much, (Y/n). Everyone will be happy to see you again." He graces.

"Well... probably just you and the other boys. The company, not so much." You chuckle.

"Don't worry about them, its us who have the final say over the guest list!" he triumphs. "Thanks again, (Y/n). I'll see you tonight."

"Alright, take care." You let out a huff, wondering what further mess you had gotten yourself into.

~

"Thank you so much for doing this again." You say to Jasper, who is sitting next to you as the car you rented pulls up to the venue. You would have never thought he would agree to this after you basically blew him off last night. He flashes you his charming smile, moving his hand on top of yours.

"Of course, I knew you couldn't stay away from me." He snickers.

You smile at his banter as the driver gets out, opening the door. You tip him and bid him good night until he has to pick you up again. You look back over at Jasper, who has his mouth wide open at the display before him. Fans and paparazzi are lined up and down the street surrounding the entrance. There's stunning blue carpet and lights lining the steps up to the marvelous company building where a banner of ATEEZ's new album cover drapes over the doors. You smirk at your date's expression.

What's the matter?" You tease, linking your arm through his. "Haven't you ever been to a party before?"

"Can't say I've been to one like this, it's huge!" He marvels as the two of you follow the crowd of guests up the stairs. You put in extra effort to keep your head down and hide behind Jasper's tall form when you can. You know it's merely impossible to avoid everyone at an event like this, but the least you can do is steer clear of those with cameras.

When you arrive at the door, you tell the guard your name while referring to Jasper as your plus one, and you're granted entrance. You can't help but sigh in relief as the blasting music fills your ears in the lobby that's been turned into a party room.

"I would have thought this place had put a restraining order on me." You say, only half-jokingly.

"That bad, huh?" Jasper asks. That's when your eyes pan over to some of the familiar staff members going around greeting the guests. All you do is nod as you swallow down a lump in your throat, leading Jasper away from them and toward the bar. He kindly pulls out a chair for you before sitting down himself. You beckon the bartender over who quickly whips up what you both select on the menu. Your first sip of the drink burns going down as someone taps you on the shoulder. You turn to see a familiar and very welcoming face.

"Jongho!" You yelp in delight, hopping down from your barstool to hug him.

"Hi, (Y/n)! Glad you could make it!" The youngest member of Hongjoong's group hugs you back. Jasper nervously takes one more swig of his drink before stepping down as well, clearing his throat. You quickly take this as a sign to introduce him.

"Oh, this is Jasper. He's um... my date." Jongho awkwardly nods, shaking Jasper's extended hand.

"Nice to meet you, congratulations on the comeback!" Jasper says excitedly, making you raise an eyebrow.

"Ah, thanks! Appreciate you being here too!" Jongho responds.

"Jongho! You're on soon!" Another recognizable staff member comes over to collect the man in front of you. You avoid their icy gaze as Jongho wishes you both goodbye before being ushered away.

Downing the rest of your drink, you lead Jasper over to the dance floor, where people are simply mingling at the moment.

"He seems nice, good to see an old friend?" He asks you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

"Of course, I really miss them," You say. "But you seemed pretty thrilled to see him yourself, are you a fan?"

"Uh, well you know. I've heard a few songs..." Jasper mutters. You let out a snort.

"Aha! So now I know the real reason why you wanted to date me!" You giggle.

"Shh, you know that's not true!" He shushes you, still laughing along with you.

There's about another half hour or so before the opening ceremony starts and you happily run into a few people you've met at your club before, glad to have someone to socialize with in a place where most people already know each other. Jasper oddly enough runs into someone he's familiar with too. He excuses himself to talk to them as you chat with your own peers. That's when everyone's attention is called up to the front and cheers are being shouted as ATEEZ takes the stage.

"What's up, everyone!?" You recognize San's voice even though you can't see him as you attempt to hoist yourself up on your toes. You hear the boys continue to speak, thanking the crowd for coming and everything, as you try to push past the tall people in front of you. Luckily, they let you by, not realizing the height difference... unluckily, you yourself didn't realize how close to the front you actually were.

That's when you lock eyes with Hongjoong the moment he takes the mic. The feeling is so intimidating and surreal... like his deep, brown eyes are boring right into you as if he's standing inches away from your face. You can practically feel, smell, and taste him all over again. Except he's on stage and you're just an audience member this time... and that's when you realize it's simply the memory of him that you're feeling right now.

"We've got some great new songs coming out for you tonight." His voice over the speaker pulls you out of your thoughts, but his eyes are still on you.

"Some very special people were a part of this comeback," Hongjoong says, sentiment lacing the tone of his voice. "I hope you enjoy."

Applause erupts all around you as the first song on the album begins its premiere. The roar of sound intensifies the twisting in your stomach as you stumble away from the dance floor, where people have begun to move to the music. It's like fighting your way through a crowd at your club, which you've done a million times, so why does it feel like you're about to be swallowed up? You feel someone grab your arm and turn to see Jasper.

"Hey, you okay?" He asks, concern written all over his face. You allow yourself to give him a faint smile before just explaining that you need to go to the bathroom. He leaves you to your own devices as you quickly strut down a corridor connecting to the lobby. Much to your relief, the women's restroom is only a few steps away.

You quickly lean against the counter, catching your breath. Unfortunately, you don't have much time before a loud group of drunk girls is bombarding the place. You quickly make your way into one of the stalls to hide away.

"My God! Please tell me you guys saw her!" The girls take over the counter, making themselves at home as they lean in to fix their makeup in the mirror.

"Poor thing looks so pathetic ever since Hongjoong kicked her to the curb!" Your heart sinks at the girl's comment.

"I wonder how she even got past security. What a desperate whore."

"I'm surprised she's not more busy jacking off the next big associate for her run-down club!"

You wipe a tear that you can't stop from spilling over as their laughter jeers into your ears. Your mind goes numb, unaware of the buzzing coming from your phone in your purse. Then you notice all of the girls pulling out their phones as well, painted red lips left a gap.

"Well, speak of the devil..." You furrow your brow in confusion, frantically reaching for your own phone. Your stomach drops at the news notification.

'Breaking: New Audio Tape Leaked from Club-Owner Ex of ATEEZ's Hongjoong' the headline reads.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know why I invited you in if I was just going to cry over my ex..." You hear your own weepy voice come from the other side of the stall. Everything you told Jasper last night, all of your private feelings, are there for the world to hear now. And it hurt more than any rumor that anyone could ever make up about you.

And it hurt, even more, realizing that this is what Jasper was listening to on his phone this morning...

You push the stall door open, ignoring the surprised exclamations of the girls as you rush past them. You run down the hallway, face flushed and hot from the tears running down from your eyes. The sight before you when you get back to the lobby sends a dreadful feeling down your spine.

Every face is lit up by a phone screen, either laughing mockingly or gasping in surprise. You ignore the people that recognize you when you walk by them, despite how they jester to you like you're some kind of circus attraction. You finally find Jasper in the crowd and your blood boils.

You storm up to him, not caring who is watching.

Hell, you can't even deny it anymore, the whole city has been watching you this whole time. You could take the rumors, the bullying, the slander. Until Hongjoong was dragged into it, you saw it as nothing but worthless attempts by a bunch of people miserable with their own lives to cut you down, someone who built yourself from the ground up, someone willing to take on what others never can. But to have someone that you trusted give away something so personal to you... that's where you couldn't take it anymore.

So... you might as well give everyone a show if that's what they really want.

"How fucking could you?" You yell, knowing the crowd is starting to circle around the two of you. You fully expected Jasper to sneer back at you like all the tabloid hustlers do. You figured that's who he secretly was this whole time. But he just stumbled back while letting out a shaky breath.

"(Y/n)... I'm so sorry. Listen, my brother convinced me to do it. He said we would make some extra cash and..."

"Well, your brother is a pig just like you!" You spit. He reaches for your shoulder, but you quickly step away from his grasp.

"I didn't know they would leak it right now!" You scoff at him.

"Oh... so you're just sorry you got caught." That's when you grab a drink from a tray held by a waiter standing near you and throw it right in his face, enticing surprised sounds from everyone.

"I hope it was worth it, asshole..." You say, defeated. The gasps and flash of phones from the crowd only fuel your fury as you stomp out of the building.

At least now you know you had some part in the next big headline about you.

~

With shaking fingers, you squeeze your pillow further into your chest. It hadn't fully hit you what you had done until you got back home. You're sure the video of the scene you had previously made was making its way around social media as you spoke, which is why you left your phone in the living room, long forgotten.

You suddenly realized that you had just done all that in Hongjoong's company building... at his group's party. You had probably just ruined the entire night... or even everything for him. After all that work you put in to make sure you never got in the way of his dreams, you still fucked it all up.

You allow yourself to let out a sob from deep within your chest, not fully registering the rain that had suddenly started to hammer against your bedroom window.

And you also almost didn't hear the pounding at your door. You chose to ignore it, figuring it might be some type of reporter that wanted to get the full scoop of tonight's events. It's not the first time this has happened but fortunately enough, they normally get tired and go away.

But the knocking persists. You sigh and get up to run them off, making a mental note that it's time to invest in some security measures.

"What the fuck could you possibly want..." You begin to rant as you swing the door open. You immediately silence yourself as you realize Hongjoong's dripping figure is in front of you.

"(Y/n)..." He whispers, almost pleadingly. You freeze, but then quickly gather yourself as you usher him inside. You check to make sure there isn't anyone else lurking before slamming the door behind you.

"What are you doing here? Are you crazy?" But all he does is wrap you in his soaking embrace, making you shiver as his wet clothes come in contact with your dry skin.

"I'm so sorry. That should have never happened to you." He says with his lips pressed right by your ear.

"Hongjoong, please. You shouldn't be here right now." You try to pry his arms off of you but it's no use. You end up giving in, burying your tear-stained face in his shoulder. You let him stroke your hair as all the emotions of the night finally exhaust you, making you further collapse into him.

"I'm really sorry," You sniffle out. "I didn't mean to ruin everything..."

"Hey, hey. You didn't do anything. It was... that idiot. I made sure security got his ass right away." He pulls you away by your shoulders to look at you, to which you continue to look into his eyes, apologetically. It's no surprise that he knows exactly what's on your mind.

"You don't have to explain anything. Don't worry, I'm not here for that." He assures you. You just nod, looking down at his suit as it continues to drip rainwater all over your floor.

"Jeez, Joong. You're going to get sick like this! Let me run you a bath." With that, you're leading him up the stairs to your bedroom. He lets a sheepish grin take a hold of his face.

"I missed you calling me that." Your face flushes, bringing heat to your icy cheeks.

"We'll talk about this in the morning..." You remark, guiding him into your connected bathroom. You turn the warm water on in your bathtub, pulling out a robe and towel for him before leaving him be.

You sit on your bed, hugging your knees to your chest but mentally kick yourself for letting him stay. If he hadn't shown up in the rain, you would have turned him away, but you knew you couldn't do that while he was in this state.

The sound of buzzing pulls you out of your contemplation. You look over to the source of the noise, confused as you remember your phone is still in the living room. But then you see that it's Hongjoong's phone. He must have left it on your nightstand when you were getting the bath ready.

You pick it up, skimming through all the notifications and your heart sinks when you see that they are all either text messages or missed phone calls. He must have walked out of the party...

That's when a particular message catches your eye.

'Look at you! Proud of you for standing up for your girl! It's about time someone in the industry says something...'

Furrowing your brow in curiosity, you open his search engine and quickly type in 'Hongjoong ATEEZ' to which you are greeted with several videos. You click on the first one, turning the volume down when it starts off with the sound of a loud crowd.

"Everyone shut the fuck up!" Everything goes silent and your heart begins to pound as the person recording pans over to Hongjoong on the stage from tonight. The video had to have been taken only minutes after you had walked out.

"Cut the music!" The music from the new album pauses and you can feel the thick tension as if you are there yourself in that moment waiting for Hongjoong's next words.

"You should all be ashamed of yourselves, you know? (Y/n) is a human being... you all disgust me. You sit here and pick her apart as you buy into one tabloid after another and then when you finally see the truth... how hurt she really is, you still laugh at her? How would you feel if someone treated every detail of your personal life like it was just something to laugh about?" There's a pause with a couple remarks from the audience before he continues.

"I didn't get into this business for this. I thought this is what I loved... but it took everything I really loved from me." He looks behind him at his stunned members.

"I'm sorry... I've got some things to take care of. I'll see guys later." He addressed the boys as if the crowd isn't even there anymore... like they weren't the ones who owed the goodbye to. With that, he's placing the mic back on the stand and there's further commotion as he jumps off the stage, dodging some staff members before he takes off from the building.

Without thinking, your grip tightens around his phone and you barge into the bathroom. The water swishes around the tub as Hongjoong jumps at the sound of your entrance.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" You yell, holding up the video for him to see.

"Gosh, I'm glad we're back in the talking stage but... do I have to remind you that coming in without knocking isn't a part of that?" He jokes.

"Why would you say all of that? The company is going to have your head for it!" You ignore his banter.

"(Y/n) do you really think I care about what the company has to say right now?"

"You should! Otherwise..."

"Otherwise, what? They fire me? And I finally get to do what I really love which is be with you?"

For a while, there is only silence as you let his statement wash over you. You sigh, letting your arm holding up his phone fall to your side.

"Joong..."

"(Y/n), come here." He pats the side of the tub, and you drag your heavy limbs over to sit on the edge. You do your best to hide your blush as his bare, toned form comes more into view... despite you having seen it plenty of times before. He lets his wet, but warm hand fall into your lap to grab your own.

"When will you see that You aren't a burden to me. You aren't what is getting in the way of my dream... you are my dream. You're everything that is important to me."

"But the night in the club, you said you wanted to give your heart out to people through your music..." You say faintly, to which he squeezes your hand.

"That was a different time, my love..." You feel your breath hitch at the name. "Sure, I still share my heart through the music I write, but you're the one who's really had it all this time. Even when we were apart, I thought of you every single moment in and out of the studio..."

He pulls your hand over to his lips and you finally look at him.

"I love you, (Y/n). And I want to do what I love for the people I love. For the boys, the fans, and you. Please don't let the rest of the world ruin what we created again."

That's when you finally accept the truth that you refused to see because your fear of hurting Hongjoong got in the way. It was the nastiness of the world, envious of the beautiful and rare love you two had, that was destroying him, not you.

"Okay, Hongjoong, I love you too." You say, a smile of relief cracking through your tired expression. He moves to sit on his knees so he can reach up and stroke your cheek.

"You seem like you could use a warm bath too." He comments, winking up at you. You giggle, but before you know it, your breath is caught in your throat as his fingers trace to the back of your neck to undo the clasp of your dress. His eyes never leave yours as you feel him pull the zipper down, cool air hitting your exposed back.

"By the way... you looked beautiful tonight." He notes, with a lustful rasp tinting his voice. You briefly get up to let the dress fall into a pool at your ankles, quickly discarding your matching undergarments soon after. All while Hongjoong is watching you with his hungry, yet loving gaze.

You sit back down on the edge of the tub, this time with your legs dipping into the water. Hongjoong hastily makes his way between them, letting his hands run up and down your sides as he pulls you in for a kiss. You can't help the whimper that breaks your voice as the familiar softness of his lips on yours takes over your senses after so long.

"God, I missed you baby." Hongjoong groans against you, sending waves of arousal straight to your core. He moves to latch his lips onto your neck before letting his tongue glide freely up the skin. You buck into him, moaning when your wet cunt brushes against his cock, which is now growing harder.

"Joong, please touch me..." You plead as you card your fingers through your hair while he continues to suck on your neck. You shiver as you feel him smirk against you.

"Whatever my baby wants." With that, his kiss ventures further down your body. He pays special attention to your chest, sucking dark marks into your collarbone before pushing your breasts together and taking both of your nipples into his mouth at the same time.

"Mmm, yes!" You cry out, shamelessly as he happily delves back into territory he's explored before. One of your hands travels to the hair at the nape of his neck, slightly tugging when you feel his fingers caress the skin of the sides of your breast, sucking you deeper into his mouth, already sending you into overdrive.

He soon lets go with a resonating pop before continuing to ravage you, this time pressing harsher kisses down your stomach.

"Tell me, princess..." He utters as he stops just below your bellybutton and right above where you need him the most. "Did you miss me? Miss me touching you like this?"

You bite your lips as he scoots away to grab one of your ankles before pressing a kiss to the inside of it. You watch with lidded eyes as his lips travel further up your leg before stopping again at your inner thigh. He looks back up at you, waiting for your answer. You realize he won't continue unless you respond to him.

"Yes, Joongie... missed it so fucking much." You whimper, your hips rising to get closer to his face. He flashes you a smile before placing both of your thighs over his shoulders.

"Okay baby, hang tight." He finally lets his mouth hover over your core, his hot breath fanning against you makes you whine as you steady yourself by gripping the tub at either side of you. Your head becomes foggy at the first swipe of his tongue up your folds.

"Joong!" You moan, throwing your head back as he wastes no time in latching his lips onto your clit, moaning as your taste floods his tongue again. He grips your thighs, pulling them tighter around his head as he dives further into you. You can't help but start to grind against his tongue a little, pleasure taking over your mind. Every single worry you have slips away as they begin to be replaced with only thoughts of the man currently devouring you like he's been starved for ages.

"Baby, fuck! Don't stop!" Your grip tightens around the tub as he starts to lap circles around your clit. You feel your orgasm quickly approaching and Hongjoong can feel it too, sensing the movement of your walls clenching around nothing.

"Good girl, cum on my tongue for me. You can do it." His words and a few more laps of his tongue are all you need to fall over the edge. You let out one last breathy moan as he guides your shaking legs down from his shoulders, finally pulling you into the tub with him.

The water has a slight chill now but the warmth of Hongjoong's body makes up for it. You gather his lips back up in a kiss, tasting yourself on him as you straddle his lap. He pulls you as close as he can to him before letting his hands wonder down to squeeze your ass, making you moan into him.

Being with him like this after so long should feel strange, but it's like you two never left each other. It felt good just being able to pick up where you left off. You pull away to look into his eyes and you're met with his wide grin.

"What is it, my love?" He coos, reaching up to brush the hair out of your face.

"You still need to wash up." You tease, making him chuckle. The air becomes thick with overbearing sweetness. Hongjoong drops his lusty act as he runs shampoo through your hair, then wiping away the messy tear stains from the night as he washed your face, placing a kiss on each of your cheeks. Finally, he's messaging your body with some wash, making all the tension in your muscles fade away.

You gladly return the favor, keening when he leans his head back and close his eyes as you run warm water through his scalp with the shower head.

"Thanks for taking care of me, princess..." He whispers in a soft tone.

"I should be thanking you." You giggle, but then you tense up when you scoot closer to him, making your folds brush against his hard cock again. You both groan and his hands go flying to your hips.

"Sorry... got caught up in everything." You apologize. He gives you a small smile before pressing his lips to your temple.

"It's alright, baby. I could wait on you for centuries..." He coos. You shake your head.

"I'm not gonna make you wait a second more, Joong." With that, you start grinding your hips on him as you place the shower head back behind you. His head immediately lulls back against the tub as his grip on your hips tightens.

"Fuck, baby..." He moans before you reach down and guide his cock into you. You begin to bounce up and down his length, ignoring the movement of the water it makes. Hongjoong sits up more, wrapping his arms around you to be close with you once again. You moan as the angle makes his tip message your sweet spot with each movement of your hips, but you want to focus on making him feel good. So you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him, pouring out all of the love that you never stopped feeling for him.

"I missed you so much," He whispers against your lips. "Please don't ever leave again..."

His words tug at your heart so you kiss his forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere ever again, Joong." You vow.

"We'll figure everything out, don't worry. I'll talk to the company again if you want me to, I know that's what you..." You shush him, hugging him to your chest.

"Don't worry about that, baby. Just feel good right now, okay?" He hums, nuzzling closer to your breasts. He takes to opportunity to suck on one of your nipples again, making you clench around him.

"Oh, fuck!" He cries out, so you do it again for him.

"I love you so fucking much, (Y/n). So fucking tight..." He slurs, letting pleasure overtake him.

"I love you too, baby. Shhh, you're doing so well." His hold tightens on you even more at your praises. With a few more bounces, he comes undone inside of you. He cranes his neck up to kiss you again, moaning into your mouth as he rides out his high.

You keep up the pace you've set, combing your your fingers through his damp hair. When he's finished he settles you down onto his lap by splaying his hands over your thighs. He thanks you by adorning your lips in a series of loving pecks.

"Come on, let's get out of here." After one last kiss you get up off of his lap, climbing out of the tub with him following behind you.

Between kisses and giggles you both dry each other off with soft towels. He wraps one around your shoulders, pulling you to him so he can nuzzle his nose into yours. But the insatiable look returns to his eyes...

Before you know it, he's scooping you up in his arms as you yelp in surprise. He carries you out of the bathroom and over to your bed before laying you down gently.

"Hongjoong! What are you..." you go silent as he sits beside you on the edge of the bed, spreading your legs apart. You both stare in awe as you watch some of his cum gush out of you.

"Fuck, that's the hottest thing..." Hongjoong groans, dipping a finger into your entrance.

"Joong!" You jump at his touch, reminding you of how sensitive you still are. But it's short lived as he spreads the mix of your arousals across your clit, and your body begins to buzz with pleasure again. Hongjoong leans down right beside your ear as he continues to rub your clit, building up the knot in your core again.

"You look so pretty with my cum leaking out of you, baby." He breathes before taking the shell of your ear in between his teeth and moving two fingers to be inside you. The room fills with the wet sound of his fingers pounding your cunt, making you cry out.

"Will you be a good girl and let me give you more of my cum?" He muses. That's when you turn your head to see his lap where his cock is already hard and ready to go again, the sight of him dripping out of you doing just the job for him. You go to respond but the pads of his fingers rub up against your sweet spot while his thumb finds your clit, so all you do is nod.

He takes his hand away, but not before gathering a bit of the mixed essences on his fingertips. He sends you a dark look as he guides his fingers over to your lips.

"Open." He commands, simply. You let your lips part, welcoming his fingers in, and moan as the taste of his cum, as well as yours, washes over your tongue.

"Mmm, what a good girl." He praises, before taking his fingers out and replacing it with his tongue, sighing into you when he also gets a taste.

"What would the tabloids think if they knew you were such a dirty girl for me?" Hongjoong teases as he presses his forehead against yours. "Why don't we tell them and give them something to really talk about, huh?"

You can't help but moan at his words, to which he responds with that signature sexy laugh of his.

"Come here, pretty girl, you're so cold. Let me warm you up..." He pulls back the covers so you can get under them. You lie back down on your pillow as he climbs on top of you, pulling the duvet back over the two of you. You're so relaxed and warm between the soft sheets and Hongjoong's body that his cock slips easily back into you. The two of you moan, arms wrapping around each other, desperate to be as close to one another as possible after countless moments apart.

He doesn't hold back at all, beginning right off with deep strokes into you, determined to make up for all the lost time. You wrap your legs around him, raking your nails down his back as every thrust brings you closer to bliss.

"I love you, Hongjoong." You gasp out, overwhelmed by the love in the room.

"Shh, baby I love you too." One of his hands sneaks down to grab one of your thighs wrapped around him while the other supports his weight as it rests above your head, stroking your hair.

"You have my heart. I'm not gonna let you run off with it ever again." He says, before leaning in to kiss you. You shake your head, assuring him that it's something he wouldn't ever have to worry about again.

You let yourself drown in his presence, focusing on every stroke of his cock against your drenched walls while he whispers sweet nothings in your ear and showers you with kisses. It doesn't take much more than that to get you to cum for him again, calling out his name through the euphoria.

"Fuck, baby. Good job..." He praises you when he feels you clench around him. With a few more thrusts into your tightness, you feel the familiar warmness of his cum filling you up again. He moans into your neck, making sure to give you every last drop of him before pulling out with one last sweet kiss to your lips.

He quickly gathers you in his arms, still set on being close to you as if you'll slip away from him any moment. You latch onto him as if the same thing will happen with him as well.

But then he kisses your forehead and whispers...

"We're gonna be okay, you and I."

And you know it's true.

Hi all! I'm sorry for going MIA for the past couple of months! I'm trying to get back into writing while school is winding down and everything and I'm also trying to get my account working normally if tumblr will let me ;-; If I can't, I might make another new one but in the meantime I thought I would post this fic I started working on a while ago which was requested by @whatudowhennooneseesyou :) Thank you! Please reblog, comment, and interact if you liked this!

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #604

Top Ten Ghosts from Ghosts

This week sees the final series of the superlative Ghosts, and that’s a sentence with more alliteration than I’d expected when it began. It kind of got away from me a little bit there, but I shall attempt to wrangle the wrest of my writing into order.

Or something.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Ghosts. It’s pretty great. It’s a typical British comedy about people trapped in a situation they can’t escape and forced to share their lives with other people they would ordinarily avoid, and end up developing into a loving surrogate family over time, but without any of the wishy-washy stuff an American version of the sitcom would probably force onto the plot. Where Ghosts excels is in both its writing and its performances; it’s genuinely hilarious, which is nice, but the cast are also gifted actors capable of bringing out the warmth and humanity even in the dodgiest or flimsiest of characters. Plus it makes the most of its setting, giving us classic horror tropes and – emerging by degrees – its own brand of supernatural lore, with the ghosts all longing to be “sucked off”.

And now the end is near, and I can’t help but feel there’s going to be something really heartbreaking about it. I think it will feel like one last goodbye to old friends. Although I kinda thought that about Guardians 3 and James Gunn basically decided “everybody lives” and gave all the Guardians their own happy ending (which isn’t the same as being sucked off).

So to celebrate this momentous occasion – and because it’s a great way to kick off the spooky season – I’m now going to rank my favourite spooks in a sitcom; my favourite poltergeists in a programme; my favourite ghosts in Ghosts. Good, eh?

Julian (Simon Farnaby): it’d be very easy for Julian to be a one-note joke; a lecherous and corrupt Tory MP who died in a sex scandal and has to spend the afterlife with no trousers. But Julian is allowed all kinds of subtleties and nuances; despite his multiple vices, his care for his fellow ghosts (and living humans) frequently bubbles up, as does an occasional bubble of regret over his life choices. It’s a really slow-burn, empathetic development of character, as Julian is really still rather reprehensible; but we love him and want him to succeed. And that one-note joke is just persistently funny.

Robin (Laurence Rickard): a caveman whose guttural pidgin utterances can be the source of great amusement; as can the contrast between his prehistoric values (he appears to have married his sister) and the present day. But again it’s a character full of nuance; he’s much smarter and more sensitive than he first appears. And he’s really funny, with a terrific makeup job.

Pat (Jim Howlick): an over-earnest Scouts leader with an arrow through his neck, my love for Pat isn’t really based on nuanced empathy or slowly unpeeling layers of development; he’s pretty much all there day one. But he’s so damn funny, a tour-de-force from Howlick as this organisational nerd, a nice guy determined to keep everyone happy. Probably has the funniest death scene. “You don’t want to see this in your dreams.”

The Captain (Ben Willbond): an uptight, overwound British officer, all stiff upper lift and starched sheets, with an almost Melchett-level Tasche. There’s a lot of fun and nuance right there, but it’s the Captain’s closeted nature that elevates him even higher; the tragedy of his repressed life and the double tragedy that now, about eighty years after he died, he still can’t be honest about himself. Yes, it’s sad, but it’s an informed and beautiful sadness that has something to say. And sometimes it’s really funny too.

Kitty (Lolly Adefope): I could talk again about how Kitty has shades and subtleties that are slowly teased by the writing and performance as the show has developed, but really Kitty’s here because Adefope is damn funny. An almost stupidly naïve character, fantastically childlike, an innocent soul in search of a sister. She’s just great.

Fanny (Martha Howe-Douglas): from comically naïve to comically repressed, Fanny is a puritanical matriarch for whom nothing is good enough and everything is filthy. Of course, this is all mask and projection, and like most of the ghosts here she had a rather tragic life that shaped her death. It’s this juxtaposition between the passions that enflame her (she fancies Kiell Smith-Bynoe’s Mike) and her snotty demeanour that brings the funny. Plus it’s a simply transformative performance.

Mary (Katy Wix): Mary is far more down-to-earth, from her broken malapropism-riddled Black Country dialogue to her matter-of-fact allusions to the more red-blooded facts of medieval life. His sets her apart from a lot of the more repressed characters, and her misunderstandings and failures to grasp modern concepts are also really funny. She also has the terrific hook of having been burnt at the stake.

Thomas (Mathew Baynton): surprisingly low down really, for such a great character and performance. Vainglorious lovesick poet Thomas wanted to be Byron but was shot down (literally) in his prime. His flowery dialogue, his inappropriate pining for Charlotte Ritchie’s Alison, and the frequent gulfs between his ideals and aspirations and the harsh reality of his life and death are all sources of great humour.

Sir Humphrey (Laurence Rickard): a more minor character than others, but a great one. Again it’s basically one gag writ large, as Humphrey had his head cut off and so his ghost is likewise decapitated; his body frequently losing his noggin (or vice versa, I suppose). Humphrey’s head’s grumpy but resigned demeanour when faced with always getting misplaced or lost or put down in the wrong place is priceless. Also: props to Rickard for two great roles here.

The Plague Victims: pretty much all the cast return as the ghosts of an entire village laid low by the plague, destined to spend eternity stuck in a cellar together. That’s all nice and hilarious of course, but the way they’ve become experts on their tiny world (teaching Alison and Mike how to repair the boiler) and their various interactions with the ghosts on the floors above are doubly, triply terrific.

[arasanwar]

4. Your personal favorite tattoo on you 7. Do you have a memorable tattoo experience? 12. Most painful area you got tattooed 18. Types of tattoos you do not understand why anyone would ever want it 26. Any ~ scandalous ~ tattoos on your body?

Click here for more questions. And here for already answered questions.

4. Your personal favorite tattoo on you.

My favorite tattoo on myself is also my first tattoo done on real skin. It is a smiley face. But a very special one. First, it sits just above my kneecap on my thigh. Secondly, only I see him the right way around when I look at him. Because he's upside down. Third, he is perfect in his utter imperfection. His smile is crooked, his eyes a bit shaky and definitely cross-eyed. =)

7. Do you have a memorable tattoo experience?

Where do I start? I've been doing this for a few years now and when I was talking to someone the other day about my tattoo experiences, the first thing I noticed was that there wasn't one experience that burned itself into my head. Because my tattoos do more or less what they want to do, I have a few stories to tell. Add to that my reputation in the vast expanses of the World Wide Web. A lot of people who come to Vegas are just crazy. There is no better word for it and I try not to describe it better. Apart from unrealistic price expectations and any names of the beloved person, I should already do the strangest things for people. Maybe I'll drop some of the stories now and then. Today I sadly have none for you.

12. Most painful area you got tattooed.

Rib cage. Definitely the ribcage. With no other tattoo have I hoped so much that it would finally be over. Not even with the one that I stung myself.

18. Types of tattoos you do not understand why anyone would ever want it.

Names. It doesn't matter whether they are the names of children, parents, lovers or other people. I think that's totally stupid. Today you can love each other deeply and tomorrow you wouldn't even give them a glass of water if they were dying of thirst. Blacksleeves. No matter if it's on your arm, leg or anywhere else. That being said, it's not artistic skill to get that done. Tattoos of the eyeballs. Tattoos on the hands or toes. Tattoos that every other person on the planet has. Tattoos in a language you don't speak. Quotes. Yes, I have stitched them in the past, if it is a person I care about I would still stitch them today, but not without a lot of protest and teasing after the job is done.

26. Any ~ scandalous ~ tattoos on your body?

I reserve the right to remain silent here. True to the motto "smile and wave."

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Happy Hump Day!

Picked up the Metro yesterday morning. Front page: lie. Utter nonsense. Completely fabrication. I was talking about this with some mates the other day. Some people are so simple, they believe everything they’re told or everything they read. These simpletons don’t even question it for a second. Even though we ALL know there are two sides to every story, some lemmings just follow the pack. It’s so easy to follow the pack, isn’t it? Go with the majority. Swallow the lies. I’m losing Twitter followers every day because people don’t even want to know the truth!

Outside Willesden Junction, they have these very attractive flower beds. Sadly, some little scumbags treat them like a dustbin, so you’ll find cigarettes butts and empty beer cans in the flower beds. These poor, bloody flowers desperately trying to survive! You’ve got to ask yourself, why do some people have to vandalise everything? Are they ‘sticking it to the man’ by destroying everything the council puts up? Simpletons! I’m drowning in them!

Looking forward to tomorrow. Got a return train ticket booked. Going to spend 24 hours with Lady Wesker, as we had to cancel on her a few weekends ago. It will just be me and her on this occasion. Mother and son. Nose to nose. Chewing the fat. Mum will express all of her regular concerns about everyone and I will try to allay her fears. Those of you with mothers will know that conversation. Mums have irrational fears about the most random things. In fact, when they get to that age, no filter, mums come out with most scandalous statements. Your pick your jaw up off the floor and think, “How did she put two and two together and make five?”

Looking forward to this Saturday, when we are having late lunch/early dinner with a group of very beautiful people. Lockdown put a serious spoke in everyone’s social lives, so there are some people that I really like that I haven’t spent quality time with for years! Yes, years! The Trouble is making her famous BBQ spare ribs, so we are all going to get very sticky! Just a smallish, civilised gathering. Background music and a focus on good food and good conversation. Can’t wait!

Big love to my buddy Stevie Dundee, who has involved me in his Scorpio celebration at The White Lion (Streatham) on Saturday, November 4th. There will be four Scorps in attendance: me, Stevie, Jigs and Dee DeeMure plus a supporting cast of top quality jocks. If you’re anywhere near Streatham on November 4th, swing by for a swift shandy. I think we’ll probably eat dinner there too, as Lisa’s food is so delicious. I can guarantee you some very beautiful people, some top tunes (and not just the same old tunes) plus The Trouble’s legendary dance moves. Stevie says he’s going to get some party horns for the night. I told him I’ve already got the horn!

Have a wonderful and well-endowed Wednesday. I love you all. Yes, a crazy, bald man loves and cares about you.

[topgunafterdark]

Is Bob the type to smack your ass in public? I bet he is and with a straight face.

You’re at the beach with him. Again. It’s available, it’s free, and both of you have reasons to be in the area, so why not? You’re trying not to overthink this whole thing before he leaves, because he will leave, and then where will that leave you, exactly?

He’s here with the other pilots, not alone, and you aren’t working, so you people watch. Or, more accurately, Bob people-watches his coworkers and you listen with barely-concealed glee. The things people say and do around this man because they assume it’ll go over his head are wild.

“And they just kept talking about it with you right there?”

“Just kept talking away. To be honest with you, my bewildered expression at the time was genuine. I have no idea what sounding is, and I have no intention of finding out what Harvard has to do with it. I’m assuming it’s something kinky, but why he was waxing eloquent about it to Yale is beyond me.”

“Well, I do know what sounding is, and you don’t want to know.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Bob says, letting the matter go. It’s for his own good.

You point out one pilot in particular as they file out onto the sand--the tall one you think is obnoxious, good hair aside.

“What do you know about him?”

“Who, Jake?”

“Yeah.” You just want some dirt on this guy. Something you can hold in your head the next time he doesn’t tip. You won’t say anything (at least not until his last day here), but you like to feel petty sometimes. Especially when it comes to Certain Customers.

“I know a lot about Jake,” Bob says. “A whole lot.”

He’s trying to keep a straight face, but you can see the smile poking out when he raises a hand to cover his mouth, and the jig is up.

“Did you fuck him, too?” You are astounded. Flabbergasted. And your guess is right on the money.

“Hey, he came to me. Guys like him, they talk a big game, but they all want someone they think is soft and lovable in the end.”

“Are you soft and lovable?”

“The softest,” Bob says. He keeps the serious look steady this time.

“Sure,” you say. “Well, I have an idea.”

“What’s your idea?”

“You should go up and slap his ass. I want to see what he does.”

“Well, that’s not nice. And also sexual harassment.”

“I wasn’t finished,” you say, clearing your throat. “I want you to get him to ask you for the ass slap. Like, maybe he wants his ass claimed in public.”

Bob tilts his head back and laughs. “You’re nuts,” he says. “I like that about you.”

“Are you going to do it?”

“Out here in broad daylight? Why, I’m but a simple, wholesome man.”

You give Bob a Look. “That’s a goddamn lie. Come on, he always struts around the Hard Deck like he’s god’s gift to humanity. I’d love to see him getting taken down a peg.”

“He’s probably into that.”

���Bob.”

“All right, all right,” Bob says. He stands, brushes the sand off of his uniform, and prepares for battle. “It’ll take me a bit. I won’t do it if he’s drunk. That’s messed up.”

“Deal.”

It takes a few minutes. The Bob you know is careful, even if he’s a lot more friendly than he appears on the surface. Meeting new people is always hard on him; he’s admitted as much to you. Get on his level, and he’s fun. But nobody gets Full Bob on day one. Jake seems to have already gotten to know Bob on many, many levels; he watches Bob approach with a guarded expression, but he waves away the man he’s with to give Bob the time of day, which is something incredible all on its own. You wonder if Jake got the business just like you did, or if Bob was someone entirely different in bed with his peers.

Bob whispers something in Jake’s ear. Immediately, Jake reels back, an expression of utter scandal on his face. But he doesn’t back away. You think he’s probably the sort who doesn’t back away from a challenge. Probably, it gets him into trouble sometimes. Right now, all you’re hoping for is an ass slap.

And you get one. Jake appears deep in thought, and then he looks at Bob and nods, who nods back. Jake asks a question. Bob responds. A deal has been made. But then Bob turns away, walking back towards you. Jake now appears miffed, as though he’s been scorned like a regency woman whose dance card remains unfilled. Jake’s friend shrugs, and Jake himself turns away. That’s when Bob sneaks back up and lands a slap right on the money. Jake spits his drink out all over the sand. His friend bends in half laughing something that sounds a lot like, “I fucking knew it, Seresin.”

A triumphant hero returning to his part-time queen, Bob gives you a bow. “See? All bark. No bite.”

“He into that too?”

Bob laughs again, but this time, he doesn’t answer. Some things are better kept as secrets.

[shreddedparchment]

He Says He Loves Me Pt.04

Dancing and Gossip

01/01/2022

Pairing: Loki x Reader          Word Count: 5,563

Warnings: angst, language, jealousy, implied infidelity, Heimdall looking fine as fuck

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! The awaited first meeting! Enjoy! Let me know what you liked. If you reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work!

Please DO NOT copy or translate my stories on any other sites or blogs!!!!

No tag list for this story!

The breaths escaping the slight part in your lips are deafening. You can hear nothing else.

You've read about the world falling away in scandalous novels you’d sworn to Mim you’d never read, but it wasn’t something you thought actually happened.

You’re not even certain why this moment means so much. Perhaps it’s the fact that everyone’s eyes are on you? Despite the dancers mid-quadrille or the murmur of voices or even the music echoing off the walls, anyone who is free to look has their eyes on Loki as he crosses the floor to you.

There are whispers coming from every corner of the room as the guests are enraptured by the young Odinson Lord.

Swallowing the lump in your throat you notice the absolutely fuming Viscountess just beyond Loki’s shoulder.

She scoffs then with a fixed gaze disappears into the crowd to her left.

Loki reaches you, the gentlemen around you fixing him with their appraising gazes, recognizing him as a son of the Odinson household.

You realize after a moment of silence that the younger men are waiting for Loki to set the tone for this interaction. Heimdall beside you is waiting out of politeness.

The few seconds of silence that stretch on as Loki comes to a stop before you feel endless. They stretch on and on until your mind is buzzing and your mouth is so close to opening if only just to utter any nonsense to break the tension.

Seeing Loki here in front of so many people, meeting him officially for the first time makes a surprisingly significant difference to seeing him privately and secretly this morning.

His eyes are glued to you, unabashedly giving you a very quick head-to-toe reminiscent of his father’s upon his first time meeting you before he fixes Heimdall with a satisfied smirk.

“Heimdall, how good to see you,” Loki says, giving the baron a quick nod.

Heimdall gives him a customary bow at the waist, “It’s good to see you again, Loki.”

Loki redirects his green eyes back to you, that smug smile still in place only less pronounced and somehow more devious.

“Well now,” he begins, bringing his hands to rest behind his back as he looks at the young men around you then to Heimdall before smiling at you charmingly.

Your chest tightens and warms with excitement. The anticipation as to what he would say upon meeting you has almost been too much to bear. Especially here amongst his place and people.

He speaks, “To which gentleman here do you belong to?”

Your bewitching anticipation curdles in your belly. The implications of his words, as if he doesn't already know why you're here, summon up what little defenses you have.

Your eyes tighten, narrowing to slits for a moment with the offense, and any indication of a smile is wiped from your face at the clear objectification coming from his lips.

“I beg your pardon?”

The gentlemen around you break into laughter, detached from the sudden and sour mood you've been plunged while you and Heimdall stand in stunned silence.

The sudden offense and rage that ices your chest catches you even more off guard than the nerves that he’d plucked from you at first sight.

“A jest,” Loki says, chuckling once with amusement. “Heimdall, you seem acquainted with the uh...young lady, will you not introduce us?”

That word, young. The way he says it doesn’t sound harmless. There’s an emphasis on it that brings your mind back to the morning and Loki’s gripes about your age.

It brings back the Viscountess’s queries about your experiences in courtship and it sours the taste of the port that coats your tongue.

The way he’s talking to you is casually disrespectful. Normally you would hardly care if anyone addressed you by your title or afforded you the behavior someone of your rank deserved, but again, there’s something about the way Loki is acting towards you that puts you off.

Shifting uncomfortably on your feet, you chew on the inside of your cheek, gnawing away your urge to lash out.

You catch a servant you've never seen before moving just behind you and turn to deposit your half empty glass.

“Certainly,” Heimdall says, sounding just as confused as you feel. He also deposits his drink and the servant whisks them away.

He clears his throat lightly but before he can begin, the gentle taps of a woman's shoes move behind Loki and around to his left. Rowenna steps up beside him and places her arm around his elbow, all familiarity and audacity combined.

“There you are, my lord. The viscount and I were beginning to wonder if you would ever show,” she’s rubbing it in for your benefit, bringing up her other hand to cling onto his arm and makes a point of ignoring you.

“Ah, Rowenna. Lovely. As charming as ever,” Loki says, giving her red dress a long look. “Are you acquainted with-?”

Loki looks at you again, then Heimdall so that he might continue his introduction.

Heimdall clears his throat, “Loki this is Her Ladyship the Countess of Balmara. Your ladyship, this is the younger Lord Odinson, Loki.”

You reluctantly give Loki a curtsy and while he bows, you get the distinct feeling that he’s making fun of you in some way as he smirks up at you from his stooped over position.

“Pleasure,” he says.

Rowenna pulls on his arm, eager to pull his attention back onto her, “Have you danced yet, my lord?”

“I have not, Rowenna. I just arrived, as you well know. What about you, Countess? Have you been twirled about the floor yet? Or perhaps your governess did not instruct you on ballroom etiquette?" He turns to Rowenna and drops his voice to little more than a whisper that everyone around you can hear. "At what age do young ladies normally learn to dance?”

Another slight at your age, this time inviting others to join in as he poses the question to Rowenna who stifles a laugh behind her gloved hand, “My lord you are too much. You mustn’t tease her ladyship, she may misunderstand your playful nature. She doesn’t know you as I do.”

The comment is pointed and stings sharply, wounding your pride. Clearly the intent.

“I have danced, sir. Thank you for your concern,” you reply curtly, utterly thrown by this open hostility from both Loki and Rowenna.

Are they so in love that they would do this in front of strangers? People you’ve only just met tonight? They'd ridicule you and make you a joke simply to demonstrate their refusal to abide by the agreement which brought you here?

“It’s true, she has danced already,” Rowenna says. “But she hasn’t since she opened the ball. Are you not dancing anymore tonight, my lady?”

Your lips twitch, tempted to answer her and put an end to whatever game it is they're playing. You're saved the need by Loki’s interjection.

“Perhaps her ladyship doesn’t enjoy dancing? Too much of a grown-up passtime? Maybe she’d much prefer to occupy herself with a novel or even some dolls?" Then he turns to address you directly, seeing and only minutely reacting to the expression in your face. "Mother has quite an extensive collection she saved that once belonged to my sister Hela, your ladyship. I’m certain if your governess asks politely she’ll be given permission to bring them to you. Hela has so many dresses for them you might well be able to practice the skill of conversing with others at a ball.”

As Loki speaks, his voice grows slightly tighter in his throat as he fights the urge to laugh but near the end he fails in this endeavor and an errant laugh sneaks through his lips as Rowenna beside him sputters around her own guffaw, muddling the sound as best she can with her hand.

The gentlemen who’d come to stand around you also laugh, albeit uncomfortably and almost uncertain as to why Loki is teasing you. They fix you with sheepish and uncertain smiles. One of them doesn't laugh at all and simply stands gaping between you and Loki with his mouth open wide in shock.

You look around at them, as well as the others who’d edged their way closer to listen and now stand around whispering, and then Heimdall who stands looking stern and disapproving at the younger Lord Odinson.

You think he might say something but he knows his place too well.

Unfortunately, your anger only continues to grow and mingles with your embarrassment making your eyes sting and your gloved hands shake.

You ball them into fists and urge yourself not to break.

“I’m glad you find me so amusing, my lord. While I’m not sure exactly what it is I have done to cause you offense, please allow me to offer my apologies,” you manage, your chin trembling as you finish.

Heimdall suddenly steps closer to you, decreasing the already small gap to nothing as he holds up his left arm, bent at the elbow and waits for you to take it.

“Will you do me the honor of the next dance, your ladyship?” he asks.

You turn towards him, unwilling to look at Rowenna’s coldness or Loki’s suddenly startled face, and reach up to wrap your shaking hand around the luxurious tan fabric of Heimdall’s jacket.

“Yes, thank you, Lord Heimdall.” You look back at Loki, ignoring his confusion at both your reaction and Heimdalls ire.. "I will do you the favor of making myself scarce, my lord. Enjoy the rest of your evening."

Heimdall sweeps you away without hesitation and the crowd parts as you wander to the opposite end of the room where he stands on the sidelines with you as the quadrille goes on and you wait for the next.

“It seems you were mistaken, Lord Heimdall,” you tell him quietly, still struggling to get a hold of your disappointment as more and more people around you mutter about what just happened so very publicly. “There are some things I lack that cannot be overlooked.”

“No, I was as right as I ever am,” Heimdall assures you. “It turns out Loki is indeed a simpleton and while I know advising you not to be troubled by his behavior is impossible, at least now you know where you stand.”

Heimdall is right.

At least now in the morning, you can go. You'll pack your trunks, wish the Odinson family well, and leave this stupid place forever.

As the dance comes to an end the music stops and a lull in activity stretches for a minute in which everyone looks around wondering why the next dance has not started.

From in front of the quartet, the conductor looks over the crowd to Odin and Frigga who you can see are glaring daggers at Loki and Rowenna.

The latter pair of which are now standing unlinked, Rowenna fuming as she stares at Loki while Loki is--watching you?!

You look away from the intense speculation on his face, heart giving a vivid clench as you tighten your hold in Heimdall’s arm.

Something must happen between Odin, Frigga, and the conductor because he nods and looks out towards the dancers.

"The Waltz," he announces and there's a frenzy of shocked gasps and excitement at the very idea that the Duke and Duchess will allow such an uncouth and wholly inappropriate dance be played at their ball.

Heimdall on the other hand wraps his hand around yours to secure it around his elbow and leads you to the center of the floor.

You glance at Odin and Frigga again and see their shocked faces. They'd no doubt allowed the dance in the hopes that Loki’s clearly rebellious nature would have been sated by the taboo of this particular dance. Preferably with you.

"Heimdall, I'm not sure that-"

"Trust me, my lady, just one dance," he whispers for you.

You meet his piercing gaze and he smiles at you, so handsome that the young ladies behind you gasp and giggle behind their fans.

Your partner sweeps you around suddenly drawing his hand down to the center of your back while he keeps your hand in the other, palms down, thumbs interlaced.

You swallow hard at the heat that seeps off of his skin, through your glove.

Heimdall is so very tall, and that fact is brought to your attention as the space between you is reduce to mere inches.

The murmurs of everyone watching only grows more pronounced the long ther silence goes on, though it's been only seconds.

Finally looking away, you find Loki and Rowenna where you left them. Rowenna tugging on Loki’s elbow as she urges him towards the dance floor but Loki’s got his eyes fixed upon you as he reaches over to sweep Rowenna’s hands away.

You can see his mouth moving as he turns to her finally, no sound can reach your ears but he clrarly says, "Will you desist?"

He's angry at her, green eyes cold as he turns back to look at you, brow furrowed in more confusion.

What has him stumped you aren't certain but as he walks forward to the edge of the dance floor, his face begins to soften. He abandons all anger, Rowenna still fuming behind him, and a strange curiosity takes its place.

You look away.

"Shall we, my lady?" Heimdall asks.

The music starts and with grace and ease, Heimdall leads you through the first steps.

As he spins you around the floor, his hand at your back supportive and demanding of your attention, you see a few other couples have joined the dance. Not many.

Some of the older women in the crowd are scandalized and are clutching at their throats, fanning themselves furiously but they don't dare make an audible judgement in case the Duke or Duchess might overhear.

Heimdall smiles down at you, his golden eyes flicking up over your head before locking with your own again.

"My lady, if you'll forgive me," he says then pulls you just a smidge closer.

You gasp, breath pulled from your lungs as the heat of his body wafts over yours.

He smirks, amused by something but then the whispers start.

You don't hear all of them but a few reach your ears as Heimdall spins you this way and that with his waltz.

"Was she not here for Lord Loki?"

"Didn't you hear? He's rejected her."

"Word is he is repulsed by her."

"Everyone knows his attachment to the Viscountess Gardner is long standing."

"She’s hardly been out in society, I can't blame Lord Loki for refusing her, whatever her title."

"Imagine taking such liberty at a ball in your honor."

"She should be ashamed to dance so close."

"I was told she came from the North. Scotland. Everyone knows how they are in regards to modesty."

"She might very well have been plucked already."

"Lord Odinson is wise to shun her. Even a married Viscountess is better."

"People were saying she was handsome. I see no beauty."

"If Lord Loki refuses her, there must be something distasteful in her demeanor. Lord Loki likes all ladies."

The laughter, while possibly not even directed at you, that echoes around the ballroom makes your head spin.

You clutch onto Heimdall’s hand a little tighter, holding your dress a little less carefully in the other.

You drop it and Heimdall stops, looking down at you quizzically because you won't meet his eye.

Standing there amongst the whispers that keep whisking past your ears both condemning you and praising Loki weigh you down.

"Your ladyship, are you unwell?" Heimdall checks, waving over a servant with a tray of drink.

Luckily you're sidestepped by the other dancers but once again all eyes are on you.

The whispers become louder, faster, and more frenzied at your stopping.

"I'm-" you gasp, breathless as the room with all its gossiping bodies starts to feel too close.

"My lady?" Heimdall worries, placing his hand on your shoulder but you pull back and bump into the servant bringing your drink.

You knock the tray out of his hand and it careens to the floor before falling with a loud crash of glass and the hum of metal on the marble floor.

The music dies, the people are silenced, and as they have been all night, all eyes are on you.

The bottom of your dress soaks up the red port now pooling on the floor and you lift the skirt a little, stumbling back in utter shock and dismay at the mess you've made and the ruined gown you wear.

"No," you lament quietly, then look up to meet Heimdall’s gentle gaze.

Even if he doesn't look at you in judgement, it's all you see.

Every other pair of eyes staring at you, stares in judgement.

Someone laughs. Rowenna, who is standing beside Loki again.

He stares at you and you aren't sure if the smirk on his lips is imagined or not. The Duke looks displeased but the Duchess steps forward a little, perhaps making to come to you?

The idea of being coddled by her after ruining the ball and the dress she so painstakingly had commissioned for you is too much.

"Forgive me," you whisper for Heimdall and gather your dress once more then turn and hasten from the room.

You're crying before you reach the door and by the time you're up the stairs, you're sobbing. The ache in your chest is unbearable. It's rejection and embarrassment and shame. It's eating you up and all you want to do is hide.

You feel sorry that you've failed in keeping to your father’s wishes.

All he'd wanted was for you to marry well. Marrying into a duchy even if it is to the youngest and untitled son is marrying well.

Crying so noisily you don’t notice the stomping of hurried footsteps behind you as you rush up the stairs. A cool hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you to a stop, prompting you to turn to look at your pursuer.

You’re expecting Heimdall but instead your heart gives a lurch silencing your sobs as shock overcomes you to find Loki standing two steps below you, one foot on the stair above as he pants lightly.

“Wait,” he begins, but you don’t want to hear it.

“What more can you want from me?” you ask him, demanding as best you can through the hitch in your voice. “You’ve made me the laughingstock of a ball held in m-my honor. You have made your point. Everyone in attendance is well aware of your dislike for me and your preference for the Viscountess Gardner. You cannot possibly have anything further to say, so I urge you to please let me go, sir.”

Loki blinks, confusion flitting across his pale face. It’s a softer expression than you’ve seen all night. Foreign. Almost kind. It’s out of place in the face of the man that just made certain you would never forget the trauma of this night.

He takes a step up towards you, drawing him closer to eye level but he doesn’t release your wrist.

“You take liberties with me, sir,” you insist, twisting your wrist in his grip but he doesn’t relent.

“Please, I didn’t mean it,” he shakes his head, his breathing evening out, mouth slightly parted. “I meant none of it. It was merely a…" he fumbles, trying to find just the right word. "...a jest.”

“So, you mock me in front of the hordes of nobility and England’s elite for a laugh?" You nod, growing angrier as you stand there with his sudden and somewhat charming shame. "I hope you have been sufficiently amused. Might I retire to my bedroom now?”

You give your arm another tug but he doesn’t release you.

“If you do not let me go, I will scream.”

There’s no lie in your threat and after another long moment of Loki’s contemplation, he releases you, lifting his hands up as if in surrender.

Downstairs, just one floor down you can hear the sounds of the ball resume. The music is playing again and people are laughing and back to regular ballroom activities.

There are a few you can see stealing glances up at you from the landing below, whispering to each other before laughing and filing back into the ballroom.

“Look, I’m sorry.” Loki’s voice is deep, smooth, and sincere.

“Am I supposed to be happy about your apology? Am I supposed to overlook everything that just happened?”

Loki just stares at you, guilt twisting his features a little but still it’s mostly that soft look.

For some reason, you can’t bring your feet to turn around to make your escape. Instead you and Loki just stare at each other, waiting for the other to say something.

Loki cannot seem to find the words and you are so close to yelling that you urge yourself to remain silent.

Below there’s a loud female laugh, shrill and clearly aimed up at you.

This gives you the push you need. You don’t like being laughed at.

“I-I meant what I said. I am sorry to have offended you in whatever way that might have been. This meeting was not my idea either. My father wished for it and your parents have been kind and accommodating but I-I knew that you probably didn’t want this so I was prepared to go through the motions and leave having given your family a sense of us having made an effort.

“Seeing as you have made your dislike for me public, you’ve saved me the time I would have spent here pretending that we were making any sort of connection so, I will go up and pack my things. I will tell your mother once the ball is concluded that I will be leaving in the morning and that will be the end of things.

“You will never have to see me again and I can go back to my castle and never set foot in society again. As was clearly your plan.”

You turn to leave again but Loki grabs your wrist once more, pulling you to a stop.

“That’s not what I want. Please, forgive me, I was hasty in my behavior. I always have been. It’s a very, very bad habit of mine. You’re not what I was expecting,” he goes on.

This time you yank your hand out of his grip, “Take hold of me again without my permission, sir, and I will kick you down these steps.”

Loki’s face flashes with surprise but he laughs and takes a step back onto the lower stair.

“Good night, Lord Odinson. It was an eye opening experience to make your acquaintance. Please express my regrets to your mother’s guests but I am not feeling well.”

The pretense is shoddy and everyone knows it. Or will know it as soon as Loki tells them.

Luckily, he doesn’t stop you again and you make it back to your room easily. You’re not there five minutes before Anna comes bursting through your bedroom door, searching desperately for you.

She spots you, sitting at your vanity and you sigh, still in full dress just staring at your reflection, shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Oh, my lady,” Anna laments and moves over to you quickly.

“It’s been a long night, Anna. I think I’ll take a bath and go to bed. Can you also have my trunks packed in the morning? I plan to be gone by noon. I think I’ve outstayed my welcome,” you go back to staring at yourself as Anna fusses with your hair removing the ribbon and several pins she’d placed to keep it all in place.

“Of course, your ladyship, but I’m certain Her Grace will want to speak with you before you make any decisions to go. Shall I fetch her now? I’m certain she’ll want to-” 

You’re saved the need of fetching the Duchess because a knock on your door followed by it opening silences Anna as she undoes the last of your hair.

As Frigga steps in, the music from downstairs floats in after her, abruptly cut off as she shuts the door behind her.

“Anna, might I have a moment alone with the Countess?” Frigga asks, though clearly it’s a dismissal.

“Your Grace,” Anna says with a curtsy before she turns to you. “I’ll bring some tea and the water for your bath.”

“Thank you, Anna.”

You’re so grateful for her kindness that you can’t help but smile, forgetting the streaks of dry tears on your cheeks.

As the door shuts again, Frigga waits in silence as you watch her stand there, hands clasped in front of her as she wrings them with worry.

“I saw my son follow you,” Frigga starts.

“He wanted to apologize,” you tell her, turning away from her to move to the small jewelry box that you’d brought with you and remove your ornaments.

It’s clear from the way you tell her that you didn’t accept his apology and Frigga sighs heavily, weary suddenly as she walks to your bed and sits on the end.

She holds onto the post, her other hand resting lightly on her lap as she smooths her golden dress.

“I tried my best to raise two sons who would think rationally before making life's biggest choices. I’m sad to say that while he does eventually come around to the correct way of thinking, his father’s firmer hand has led Loki to develop a bit of a rebellious streak. I think this was perhaps his way of punishing his father for something that is not your fault, my dear. Something removed wholly from the ball tonight and you in general.

“I’m certain he meant his apology.”

You think back to the look on Loki’s face. The guilt and the soft regret there.

“I’m certain he did too,” you admit. “That doesn’t change the fact that I was utterly humiliated and re…”

This is the bit that hurts the most. This is your biggest hill.

“Rejected for all to see. If he didn’t want to marry me, all he needed do was send word and I would have left without making a fuss.”

You cover your mouth, turning away from the Duchess as you feel the sting of new tears swell.

“This is not what I was hoping tonight would be,” Frigga admits. “But, sweet girl…”

Her hands are suddenly on your shoulders and she turns you slowly until you’re facing her.

“Oh, my dear,” she wipes the new tears retracing the tracks left from before. “I am so very sorry.”

Part of you wants to push her away. That stupid young part that Loki and the Viscountess seemed so stuck on would like nothing more than to throw a tantrum and push away the Duchess and tell her that you’re leaving and you don’t want her apologies or kindness.

A larger part of you has not felt the motherly comforts of a hug when you’re feeling down so you wrap your arms around her without thinking and she shushes you as you cry a bit more.

For a few minutes, you just feel the night and when you’re finished Frigga pushes you back to look at you.

Embarrassed, you look down at your feet and notice the stain on the beautiful white dress again, the green underneath the sheer muslin on top is also dark and ruined.

“The dress you had made for me,” you grieve.

“It’s of no matter. I can have it mended. Don’t you worry your sweet little head about it. Now, I know what you want to say. You want to leave, correct?” Frigga waits.

You nod.

“Mm, but running from this will not make you feel better.”

This time you just look down again, knowing that even if she’s kind to you, her priority will be in the best interest of her son. Keeping you here and finding a way to make Loki marry you is her main concern.

“You want me to stay?” you wonder, already knowing her answer.

“Actually, Loki wants you to stay. As I said, he’s very sorry. I caught him on the stairwell and it was he who sent me to bid you to stay.”

You’re a little surprised, blinking stupidly as you try to understand what she just said.

Only her own son could ever make her run errands.

“I don’t know if I can,” you tell her, fearful of what more rudeness from Loki might bring out in you.

Kicking him down a flight of stairs is probably not a good thing to contemplate, never mind that you’ve already threatened to do it.

“How about,” Frigga begins, moving you back to your vanity to sit you down. “You give us until the end of next week? Six more days. You’ll have spent a fortnight with us which is more than enough time to give my dolt of a son the chance to make up for tonight.”

Sure that sounds nice and all, but what about the consequences of tonight?

“Well, my dear?” She’s impatient. Reaffirming your belief that her interest lies with her son’s well-being and not your own. “What can you have to lose?”

Against your better judgement, you settle into your seat and your shoulders slump once again as you nod.

“Very well, six more days. But I request tomorrow for myself. After what everyone said about me down there, I’d really like to enjoy my own company for a bit.”

You don’t feel like it’s an unreasonable request and despite the slight purse of Frigga’s lips giving away her dislike of the request, she agrees.

There’s a small knock on the door of your room and both of you turn to look.

“Come in, Anna,” you call out, recognizing the quick pattern.

Anna pushes the door open, balancing in her arms a tray of tea, cake, chicken, and potatoes from the feast below.

Now that the worst of what you’re feeling is behind you, you’re grateful for the sustenance as you haven’t eaten anything tonight.

“I’ll leave you,” Frigga says and moves around Anna leaving the door open as she moves through your rooms.

You follow after her to be respectful and see her out.

“Thank you for coming,” you tell her. “And I’m so sorry that I left the ball.”

“Think nothing of it, my dear. You aren’t at fault for the way things transpired tonight. Trust me when I tell you that the guilty parties shall be dealt with accordingly.”

Frigga’s words are a promise and as she slips out of your sitting room and into the dimly lit hallway, a familiar head of dark hair passes by your door looking crestfallen and miffed.

“Oh, Rowenna,” Frigga begins, frowning at the woman as she stops when her name is called.

You quickly shut the door nearly all the way, not wanting to be seen in the state you’re in by one of the guilty parties responsible for your atrocious evening.

“Your Grace,” she curtsies.

“I think I gave you ample warning before about your involvement with my son,” Frigga says coldly yet gleefully, as if she’s been waiting for this moment. “You are no longer welcome in this household. You and your husband are to pack your bags and leave in the morning. I don’t know what pretense you need make for him to explain your sudden need to go, but you’d best find one that will be acceptable or I will tell him exactly why your presence is no longer accepted.

“And make no mistake, Lady Gardner, now that I know the caliber of woman that you are, I will be more than happy to share that information with everyone in my acquaintance if I should ever even catch a whiff of you around Loki again. If you’ll excuse me, I must find the Viscount and let him know you’re looking for him.”

Frigga turns on her heel, leaving Rowenna in a half curtsy, head tilted as she takes in every last word the Duchess just said. She scoffs only once Frigga is gone and you quickly shut the door just as you feel Rowenna turning to look at your door.

You wait until you hear her leave before making your way back into your bedroom to Anna who gestures you over to her and has you sit to eat while she has several housemaids bring you hot water for a relaxing bath.

Chewing on your last bit of cake, you turn towards the windows of your bedroom as they shake and rattle almost violently as the cold winter wind picks up and a downright blizzard falls outside.

Even if you’d been able to deny Frigga her request to have you stay longer, you doubt you’d have been able to leave tomorrow with the heavy snowfall.

The fact that Rowenna will also be unable to leave because of the weather does not escape you and with yet another defeated crumble of your shoulders, you lean back in your chair and down the rest of your now lukewarm tea and hope that you can find the strength to deal with the Viscountess for what will probably be another few days.

[kiridarling]

𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓.

request | Can I have royalty au (soon to be king bakugou) (and soon to be queen reader) , katsuki and reader are supposed to be getting married (not to eachother) but they end up sneaking around and doing IT with eachother so top!kats , exhibition , begging , dumbification and spanking THANK YOU💞💞

this lovely request was submitted for the kissing booth event (the rest of the drabbles come out soon, ahem :)) so, if this was your request, um...hAHA whoops.

katsuki bakugou | f!reader, royalty!au, infidelity, nondescript!fiancés, angst (gasp), fingering, exhibitionism, dumbification + more! minors dni!

— 3.7k words

“C'mon, princess...can I make you feel good once last time?

You're getting married.

No more ignorance is bliss, no more I didn't know any better—this is when you put all your childish antics to the side and fucking woman up, now in charge of the safety of your kingdom and its inhabitants and whatnot. So yes, you must snuff all your adolescent tendencies, and that includes sleeping with the Crowned Prince of the neighboring kingdom behind your fiancé's backs.

But, boys are stubborn. And stupid.

Ding ding ding!

"Excuse me, Everyone!" Your fiancé announces to the crowd in your dining room as he stumbles to his feet, spoon clinking against his glass. He nearly trips, but no one sees except yourself. "I would like to make a toast."

You frown. This wasn't a part of the rehearsal dinner.

"First of all, I would like to thank you all for being able to be with us tonight," he says, shoving the glass higher in the air. As red wine splashes over the rim, you think to remind him that isn't a toast, it's the beginning of a speech, but your comments have rarely deterred the man in the past. "As you’re all aware, this marriage is vital. Not only for our kingdom, but for the neighboring kingdom as well."

Your fiancé regards the Bakugou’s with a lift of his chalice. In the coming weeks, two arranged marriages will melt the four most influential kingdoms into two, and your fiancé and his family had the genius to throw a massive Gala to celebrate it. You wouldn’t be surprised if they got off to the idea of stretching themselves so thin their hair falls out at age thirty; they won’t even allow you to choose the type of dress for your wedding.

"I would also like to thank my lovely, lovely wife, for just being so... lovely.” Your fiancé chuckles, accompanied by an uncomfortable massage to your shoulder. The guests find amusement in how whipped he is as he gazes your way expectantly, conceivably wishing to see you swoon at the compliment. All you give him is a blank face. His elation falters.

"You know, when I first met this woman, I knew she was going to be the love of my life," your fiancé shakes your glare off. You purposely block out the rest of his story in favor of folding and unfolding your napkin again, puffing under your breath at the cheesy comment.

"Sap," you grunt to yourself, obviously. You don't expect anyone to hear, but there's a snort to your right. Your eyes lift from your lap—and straight into Katsuki's smug blood red ones. He winks at you from across the table and your eyes roll at that, though there's a small smile playing on your face that's impossible to hide.

"Isn't that right [Y/N]!...[Y/N]?"

You blink yourself back to life, eyes reluctantly leaving Katuski's hypnotic ones for the pair that make you nauseous, "Oh—u-um, yep!"

The place bursts in laughter and there's even a little smile dancing on Katsuki's face. He catches you staring so your eyes divert to your lap, but his remain a physical force against you for the rest of the night.

*selene — the greek goddess of the moon

The balcony is much nicer than the ballroom.

For one, it's the farthest place you could have gone from the commotion, all the way on the opposite side of the castle. It's a solid five-minute walk when you aren't in heels and a heavy petticoat, but it provides a lovely view of your front yard, subjecting you to watch the early-sleepers leave in their carriages to call it a night. Meanwhile, *Selene watches you from her telescope the moon with a sigh and a sad smile, because she's the only one who knows how completely and utterly alone you will be.

You glare at her—the goddess doesn't waver.

Bitch.

It's no secret that Gala’s like these get overwhelming—especially when you're the center of attention. You see Lord Shinsou (Earl) stuff the eager Lord Kaminari (Baron) into his silver-plated carriage before looking around to ensure no one saw, and blanche upon seeing your figure stood on the balcony. You salute so he knows his secret is safe with you, and relief washes over his face before he too hops into the carriage. What a scandal, you giggle.

Plenty of couples resign home after that; it makes you uneasy. You're unsure as to why, but you have the ever-increasing urge to nip at your fingernails until you don't have them anymore, and jamming the sharpest point of your heel into the concrete seems like the only proper way to release enough kinetic energy before you explode.

"He loves me."

He does, embarrassingly so—so what's the issue?

There isn't an issue; there shouldn't be. He reminds you how pretty you are and you compliment his influence. Neither of you are marrying down. You look good together. The kingdom's future power couple if you will, where you two supposedly mold the great future in your peculiarly young hands. There isn't an issue. You're the one for him, and he's the one for you.

The balcony door whines open. You don't turn around, praying whoever it is will see that it's occupied and turn the other cheek. Yet, the stomp of whoever's boots only grow louder until you’re adjacent to a shadow of a being, his chin lifted towards the stars. You catch a glimpse of blond hair, though dyed a pale white by the silver moon, and you two stand in a strangely comfortable silence, watching carriages roll out of your driveway.

The silence doesn’t last for long, though. It never does.

"D’ya always go disappearing like that?"

You frown. "What?"

"I don't fuckin' know," Katsuki grumbles—he has yet to look at you. Seems like Selene captures more than one person's attention tonight. "Blinked and you were gone."

Your frown only deepens, and you return your attention to the courtyard. "I didn't know you were paying attention."

The ash-blond presses his forearms against the railing for support. "I wasn't. He was."

Oh.

"Said he wants you to come back, so," Katsuki clicks his tongue, carmine red eyes finally flicking your way through the darkness. You don’t dare look at him. “You run off often, or what?"

"Tell him I'll come back in a second," you sigh, balancing your face in your hand. Katsuki says nothing, but he doesn't leave, and you hate that you don't mind.

Until he points towards a couple crossing the lawn and says, "Oi, that's the Duke from my fiancé's kingdom. Fucker tried to poison my dad for the throne—straightened him out real quick.”

"Why are you talking to me?" You snap like a cornered animal. Katsuki lifts an eyebrow.

"What? I can't have a goddamn conversation?"

"I—" your chest rises and falls with a reason to why he can't, but you can only come up with one—and you don't want to think about it.

"Listen. I don't like these things either, alright?" He huffs defensively, so defensively that you have to take a step back. "If I have the opportunity to get some fresh air, I'm gonna fuckin' take it."

You shrug, supposing it makes you one and the same. The wind blows, not harsh, but harsh enough to ruffle your gown, and make the gold jewelry decorating Katsuki's tunic jingle.

“So. I guess this is it, ain’t it?”

You sigh, “Katsuki, you know we—“

"Yeah yeah, that's all you fuckin' say," he growls bitterly, and you blink in a poor attempt to find where the animosity came from. His face twists in an ugly way as he sits his hands on his hips, nose scrunched to mockingly pitch his voice that doesn't sound like yours at all. "We can't, we shouldn't—"

"Because we shouldn't!" You nearly shout, and Katsuki jumps from how quickly you raise your voice. "Because—because if we get caught, we're fucked. And I can't go to sleep terrified that I'll wake up to an exposé tomorrow morning and get beheaded by the afternoon. So...please. Just stop."

Katsuki clicks his tongue.

"You don't love that asshole."

Your throat feels tight—much too tight to be comfortable, and your chest rises and falls with disbelief as you search for the words before you can talk again, eyes never dropping from the stars. You've had this conversation, fuck, you have it too often; often enough to know that he would say those exact words, and enough to know precisely what you'll say in response.

"I love him, Katsuki."

"No, no you fuckin' don't," the ash-blond chucks a laugh and it's nothing short of acrid, his words eating away at your skin more than you'd like them to. You sigh, resting your forearms on the railing too.

"I'm not having this conversation with you."

"Always gotta be so goddamn emotionally unavailable, huh?" He growls, glare set on the mountains presented in front of you. You feel his suit jacket hit your freezing shoulders, unaware of the cool temperatures until you feel the cloth brush against goosebumps. It’s your turn to laugh bitterly.

“Careful. People might think we’re getting married to each other.”

“One day you’ll let me fuckin’ live,” he grunts, and your eyes meet for the first time. His usual red is dyed a deep purple by the moonlight, their usual hardness traded for something much softer. “Can’t even give you a jacket when you’re shivering like a goddamn leaf in the wind.”

You give him a look of utter exhaustion because you’re tired—tired of all this running around and hiding, the secrecy. It eats at your insides like a caterpillar does a leaf, knowing that you go to sleep every night to a man who’ll barely touch you, but at the same time, feeling guilty that you don’t need nor want him to.

“Why are you here?”

Katsuki clicks his tongue. His warm body settles behind yours, close enough to feel the warmth but not close enough to feel him. “You looked lonely.”

“I thought my fiancé told you to get me?” You ask, raising a suspicious eyebrow. Katsuki rolls his eyes, his arms settling on both sides of yours.

“He did. But I didn’t refuse the damn request either.”

“You saw my loneliness all the way from the ballroom. What an eyesight,” you scoff. Katsuki’s eyes narrow, but it’s clear he’s fighting a grin because you’re a little shit who loves giving him a hard time. The ash-blond’s chest rises and falls, and he bites the inside of his cheek.

“You know what I mean.”

You snort, tilting your head to the right. You suppose you do.

“And I’m marrying a bitch,” he adds to his list of grievances, his hands finding yours to gently play with your fingers. You nod in agreement. A bitch she is.

“And...I’m really going to fuckin’ miss you.”

It might as well pass for nothing but a breath, eyes trained on your held hands. His chest suspends like he has more to say, but his teeth tear at the inside of his cheek before he can. “I—fuck, I get it, okay? I’m a selfish asshole—“

“This doesn’t have to do wit—“

“And I really, really need to get my fuckin’ priorities straight. I mean, they are, just not in the way they should be.”

“Hey,” you chastise, shaking his hands for his attention. “You can’t control who you love, okay?"

Katsuki grumbles at that but you refuse, turning around to look him in the eyes.

"And neither can I.”

You let go of his hands in favor of pulling him down via his cheeks and giving him a big fat kiss on the lips. It’s peckish and brief, but it’s sweet and gets your point across. It's comfortable.

“The hell was that for?” Katsuki asks once you pull away. Though you see him struggle to hide a grin, eyes squinting more than they should.

“Easy,” you say, stepping forwards (as if there’s any space for that), “You looked lonely.”

Katsuki snorts, dropping his head, “Bastard.”

“And I’m being married off to an asshole,” you lament, pulling his face so close to the point you’re sure the strain on his back has got to be anything but sexy. He accommodates anyways—Katsuki always has; and night seems to suspend along with his baited breath as he waits for the next line, eyes shining with a painful hope you’re about to confirm.

“And I’m really, really going to miss you,” you say, shaking your head at how utterly true that statement is. Fuck.

The vulnerability slowly fades from his eyes at that, and Katsuki hums, clammy hands finding their rightful place around your hips.

“You shouldn’t call him an asshole, you know,” he says, face inching so close you can smell the champagne on his breath. “He means well.”

“I didn’t know you cared,” you quip back, raising an eyebrow. Katsuki shrugs, and you don’t realize he’s backing you up until your back kisses the cool railing.

“Well. I can’t help but feel a little bad,” he says cheekily as he inches closer, “‘Cause I make you feel so good, don’t I, Princess? Last time I checked, better than he ever could.”

You scoff at his audacity though it’s all good-natured, eyes preferring the moon over his heated gaze as he turns you around to face the courtyard.

“Ah, ah,” he tuts, redirecting your attention using a finger on your jaw, “Eyes on me, Princess. You look really fuckin’ pretty under the stars, y’know.”

You snort at the compliment, rolling your eyes.

“‘M serious. A fuckin’ goddess,” he growls, leaving wet kisses up the column of your neck. Your breath hitches as he reaches your sweet spot and sucks, and you’re swatting him away before he can leave a mark.

“I sai—“

“One last time, Princess,” he bargains lowly as his hot hands slide their way from your waist to your breasts, taking their sweet time. Katsuki hooks his chin on your shoulder. “Lemme—Can I make you feel good one last time?”

You’re nodding with a whimper before you can berate yourself for being so fucking easy, the thought of not being able to indulge yourself with this, with him, any longer tosses any and all resistance out the window.

“Good,” Katsuki hums, tweaking your nipples through the bodice. “‘M gonna pay you back for being so good to me, yeah? For puttin' up with all my shit."

You scoff, mouth dropping to tell him you weren't putting up with his shit, but then a warm hand lands on your thigh—somehow, he's found a way under your dress. The hand slides up inner thigh and you feel Katsuki's chest shudder against your back as he finally reaches where you need him most.

"K-Kats—"

"Shhh, you don't want them to hear us, do you?" He grunts, pulling your panties to the side. You shiver from the change in temperature, watching another Duke and Duchess of half-drunkenly stumble into their carriages for the night, before there's a crack of a whip and hooves beat towards the exit. It's only a reminder of how painfully exposed you two are—one glance towards the balcony and any onlooker would know exactly what's happening. You hate it.

You hate that you don't.

"Atta girl," Katsuki purrs, groaning as he inserts a finger. You shiver, the weight of his being practically trapping you against the railing. "Always so fuckin' tight. I swear that asshole never fucks you right."

Katsuki's never been an impatient man and fills you with a second finger awfully fast, chuckling when you bite into the meat of your palm to hold back a whimper. His hips start to grind against the puff of your dress and he groans as quietly as he can, carelessly shoving down the sleeve of his suit jacket to bite into your shoulder.

You let out a broken moan much too loud for this time of night and it prompts Katsuki's free hand to stuff an equal amount of fingers into your mouth. "Y'know, something tells me you wanna get caught. You want the whole world to know how much you fuckin' hate that bastard, huh?"

You choke as Katsuki slides in a third digit next to the second, the slap of his palm against your pussy becoming nothing but obscene as your slick accentuates the sound. His hips speed up against your ass and that's enough friction to have the ash-blond groaning, along with the spit that drips down his forearm.

"So dirty for me, Princess," his hips stutter when you push back, tongue laving over the bite mark you'll probably have to conceal in the morning. Asshole. "You wanna cum like this, don't you? You're gonna cum all over my fingers in front of the entire royal court. Dumb little girl, can't even keep her mouth shut to keep us from gettin' caught."

You jam your heel into the balcony concrete so hard you positive it cracks before you're coming all over Katsuki's fingers, nearly choking on the ones in your mouth as you release the loudest broken moan you have that night. Katsuki's hips stutter against you and you're positive he's filling his boxers from the airy moan that follows, and his hand goes limp in your mouth before it slides out completely.

Your chests balloon in unison, his body draped over yours, and as you two catch your breath under the moonlight, you can’t help but think how much you’re going to miss this.

"Run away with me."

"I—" he does this. He always does this. He makes you feel on top of the world, acting like everything's fine, and then he pulls this shit on you. You look everywhere but him, nearly scoffing in disbelief. "Katsuki—"

"C'mon, Princess," Katsuki scrambles to flip you by the waist until your back is flush against the railing again and he’s cradling both your hands in his semi-damp ones. There’s a look in his eyes you don’t like, and it makes your chest burn. "Across the sea, people are movin’ over there and I—I know someone there, okay? Someone we could stay with, maybe help us get back on our feet an-and I found a fuckin’ ferry guy to take us across, and I can even pay him a little extra, o-or you, or—"

"Katsuki," you give him a sad smile, squeezing his hands tight. There's hope, too much hope in his eyes and it's fucking blinding. "Running away? I—this is—we have an obligation, we can't jus—"

"It'll be fine," he insists, stepping forwards and squeezing you back twice as hard. You sigh."I—the two kingdoms can merge or whatever the fuck they wanna do and then we'll be—"

"Katsuki."

"I—fuck Princess, I don't beg but goddammit, I'll do whatever you fuckin' want, get on my knees, I ca—"

"You really want to know what I want?"

Katsuki freezes. It's the first time you've ever seen some semblance of emotion in him that isn't anger or lust, with carmine red irises swimming in unshed tears—and fuck, you hate the sight. You want to shoot yourself in the fucking foot for what you’re about to do, but it’s for the best. It always is.

"Love her."

Katsuki looks at you, and his face drops, chest shuddering.

"I can't."

You drop his hands in favor of holding his face, thumbing at the hot tears running as they fall. God, Katsuki’s pretty—too pretty for his own good and he doesn’t even know it. His unsteady hands find themselves massaging your ribs and your foreheads knock together. "You need to try. Love her as much as you love me, yeah?"

"'S fuckin' impossible," Katsuki says with a wet snort, shaking his head with eyebrows raised. You giggle, throat impossibly tight.

"Almost, then? For me."

Katsuki’s red eyes stare at you through the darkness. You have half a mind to look the other way, but you figure you owe him this if nothing else, and as he lovingly absorbs your being under the moonlight for the last time, you really wish you could take your words back.

"I'll...fuck. Fine. I'll try." Katsuki resigns with a shrug, shaking his head. You two sniffle in unison and you suppress the strange urge to pinch him. "'M not gonna try to get over you, though. Sorry, not sorry."

You roll your eyes at that but it's all good-natured, followed by a choke you struggle to hide as his arms coil around your waist, "Then I won't either."

A genuine grin spreads across his face, and it’s borderline giddy—and a stark contrast against the waterworks. "She finally fuckin' admits it."

"Figured it was about time," you give him a wobbly smile before your eyes flicker to his, red blurring from being so close. Selene looks upon both of you with a reminiscent sigh.

"I love you, Katsuki Bakugou."

Katsuki sniffs before he laughs; it's wet, and near bitter, and he pulls you so close your face nearly shoves into his chest. "Fuck. Fuck, you're an asshole, you know that?"

"This is when you say it back," you bargain, squishing his cheeks. Katsuki presses his forehead deeper into yours.

"I love you too, Asshole."

He speaks with a softness you've never heard and it's like a gunshot to the heart, and as his lips inch closer to yours as your hands slide to thumb at his ears. One last kiss wouldn't hurt, would it?

Until there's a whistle and the click of footsteps. You and Katsuki jump a mile apart.

"Oh, [Y/N]! You're still out here in the cold?" Your fiancé asks with a raised eyebrow, but it seems like that's only an afterthought as he turns to Katsuki to say, "Your wife’s found the alcohol."

"Great," the ash-blond groans, understanding the translation—your fiancé is piss drunk in the ballroom.

"I do recommend you take her home. She's making quite a mess of the eclairs. And her face."

Katsuki heads inside without giving you a second glance, and your fiancé gives him a solid pat on the way in before turning to you halfway through the doorway, "Are you coming inside, Darling?"

"In a moment," you say with a smile. Your hand never leaves the railing. "Just getting some fresh air."

"Alrighty, then. I'll be in the bedroom. Waiting~" he winks, and with that, he's spinning on his heel, and you're alone with the moon again.

You watch Katsuki guide his inebriated fiancé into the carriage lovingly, with a smile on his face that isn't quite the one he wears with you but close enough, whispering whatever pleases her at the time with a chaste kiss on the cheek. You feel comfort in knowing that he has someone to love and someone to be loved by. He doesn't look your way—not once.

It's not until they drive away that you realize you still have his suit jacket draped over your shoulders. You don't doubt he did that on purpose, either.

Asshole.

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

Would it be to much to ask for a Eren scenario where both he and the reader are both equally toxic, manipulative and possessive over eachother but both just cannot let the other go to the point where even when they reunite when Eren escapes the survey corps he asks her to tell him if anyone else whether it was the army or the jeagerists, if they had touched her even if it was just to escort her which she just nods and refuses to tell him any names cuz she likes to see him riled up by her having been "corrupted" and seeing how with a single act she can have him on edge and he falls for her even more by her devious and selfish wiles to have him get irritated and angry but only to end up wanting more of her charms.

Just some good dark angtsy feels all around🖤

A/N: just a little drabble. i've never done canon-verse stuff for AOT so this was fun to try. thank you sending this ask. i did deviate from your ending a little bit so im sorry <3

Warning: AoT Season 4 Spoilers, extreme possessive behavior, toxic relationship, anger issues, gaslighting/manipulating

Eren can feel himself getting restless. Hange had been getting on his nerves. He was the literally the only reason they had secured their victory against Marley on multiple fronts. She and the rest of the fucking Survey Corps should be bending over backward in gratitude.

He cracks his knuckles although he had no need to, wanting to focus on a physical sensation. His thoughts eventually circle back to you. He misses you sorely.

In Marley, there was this kind child Falco. Eren could say he felt guilty for manipulating the poor boy. But that's not true. He's shed that part of humanity a long time ago. All's fair in war after all.

The fair-haired boy was worried about his friend, didn't want a certain special someone of his to become titanized.

Is this other candidate a girl?

Eren had asked. Because he could relate to the Marelyan child. There was a girl he was trying to protect too, who he'd raise hell over, who he'd destroy the world for.

The dark-haired boy can feel himself grow restless. There are a million things to do. Coups to start. Militia to gather. A brother to manipulate. A world to ruin.

But first, he needs to see you. It's already been so long. He had barked orders to Floch to make sure you were safe and secure. If any hair off your pretty little head was misplaced-well no one wants to witness the rage of the Founding Titan's holder.

CRASH

The ground shakes. Eren closes his eyes and lets the Warhammer titan's power course through his veins. Foolish to think any prison could ever hold him.

He's walking uphill. The sunset bathes the land in vibrant pinks, oranges, and light violets. There is a crowd of people standing tall and at attention, postures rigid, save for one.

You hurl towards him at the speed of light and twice the fury, wrapping your arms around his neck. If Eren wasn't six feet of hard muscle, he would have been knocked off his feet from the vigor of your crushing embrace.

"Eren!" You cry out.

The attack titan vessel is too shocked to respond. He's been anticipating your presence for the longest but to finally feel you in the flesh and to smell your soft pretty scent was sending him into overdrive. He couldn't believe you were tangible and not some hauntingly beautiful apparition.

He wraps his arms around you, enveloping your body in his warmth, and you rest your head in the crook of his neck. He feels your nimble fingers toying with his hair.

"I like this new look. It suits you." You mummer.

"Like me without a shirt too?" Eren teases.

He forgot how easy it was to be himself around you, to joke and laugh like he wasn't planning a global genocide of epic proportions. No, even that's an understatement. His goal was an omnicide, utter annihilation. Only Paradis will be left after the ashes settle. A Paradis with you.

"What are you thinking about?" You ask, eyes wide with an untouched innocence that Eren doesn't know how you still possess. All of that eager wide-eyed optimism had been snuffed out from all of his friends. From him. But you, you don't change like the seasons or winds. You're you.

And that was going to be his ruin.

After the Yeagerists brief him on what happened with Zackley and Zeke Yeager's possible whereabouts, Eren gives into his overwhelming urges to see you.

He approaches your chambers, trying to conceal his impatience with soft knocks. You don't answer which irritates him, so he knocks louder and louder, the sound of his fist banging against the door sounding like thunderclaps.

Where the fuck are you? Were you with someone right now? He knew you were getting a little too friendly with Floch from the way you guys were talking at dinner. It was so obvious. He's been gone, for what, a few months and you're already whor-

The door opens and exposes a sleepy-looking girl whose rubbing one of her eyes. Admittedly, very adorable.

"Eren" Your voice is saccharine, "Do you need anything?"

He lets himself in, and shuts the door behind him, locking it in place.

"I don't usually lock the door," You pout but there's a playfulness in your expression that Eren would have noticed had he not been consumed by rage.

"What? So you let anyone in?" He asks, nearly snarling out the words. as he stares scandalized at your slip of a nightgown. A pale translucent pink that reached the middle of your thighs. He could even make the outline of your nipples poking through.

"No, silly." You giggle, twirling the hem of your dress, "Floch's security measure." You pretended not to notice how Eren's fist clenches.

"Is that so?" Eren said, words spoken between gritted teeth. As long as Eren was here, there need be no concerns over security measures. But he knew Floch. The ginger worshipped the ground Eren walked on and would never make a move on you if he cared about his limbs staying intact.

You sat down on your bed and Eren couldn't help but watch your skimpy dress ride up your creamy thighs.

He stood over you, his form looming over yours as you sat on your bed, feet swinging above the ground.

"I wanted to ask you something."

You look up with those big childlike eyes, "Okay."

"Did. Anyone. Touch. You?" His voice is low and he punctuates each word slowly.

You blink "What do you mean?” But there’s a coy smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

"Quit playing dumb." He growls, anger evident in the crease between his eyebrows.

You're quiet for a still moment, mouth opening and closing. Eren's anxiety increases more each second and it finally boils over when you softly ask, "What kind of touch?"

Like a chess piece topping over, he shoves you down the bed, pinning your wrists with his strong hands.

Usually, Eren was smarter. Quicker to call you on your tricks. But alas, absence makes the heart fonder. You love making him lose his stoic composure, so lost in his lust and desire for you that all he can see crimson. And if the price for that is to play the fragile maiden, it is what it is.

"Ow." You pitifully whine, lightly shaking your right hand. Eren knew he wasn't holding you too hard so he experimentally thumbs over a certain spot on your right wrist, eliciting another small whimper. He brings your wrist closer to him and finds a purple bruise.

"Who touched you? Was is it any of the yeagerists?" His voice is deadly calm but an ice-cold rage simmers in his eyes. You can feel yourself growing excited, heat pooling in the bottom of your stomach. You’re rubbing your legs together for the friction but Eren assumes it a nervous tic to avoid answering any of his questions.

When you avert your gaze and simply look the side, he delicately cradles your cheek: “Was it the scouts?”

The delicate touch turns harsher when you don't respond, forcing your pretty head to look straight at him. He sees your eyes glistening, and when he looks into your dewy irises, he can see himself.

His voice drops a pitch, "Please tell me."

Your breathing is shallower and you can't help but enjoy this so much.

It's been so long since you've seen him-since you begged him not to go but he went anyway, and having him here right now--the pride and joy of the Eldian empire , the holder of the Founding Titan-unravel in your fingertips, well this was the closest to true power you've ever been.

Eren can feel his patience sleeping, anger seeping into his bones at your silence, and the bruise on your delicate wrist only serves to anger him further. He can't even do what he swore to do and that was to keep you safe.

"Are you not telling me who it is because you're protecting them?"

The words are delivered deadly calm with the tension of a brewing storm behind it. You're nervous, exactly aware of what your beau is capable of, but the excited kind of nervous where butterflies are swarming in your stomach.

Maybe you underestimated his anger because within a second, the telltale red lines start to form under his eyes, lightning bright sparks forming between each breath.

Without thinking, you envelop the back of his head with one arm (the other hand rendered useless bu the force of his hold), trying to bring his head into the softness your breasts.

Understanding your gesture, Eren immediately calms down and lets himself be smothered in your chest like a babe being cradled in his mother's warmth.

"There, there" you coo, words soft and melodious on your tongue.

You can feel wet-spots on your nightie, "Eren...are you-" you begin, not sure when to end.

His voice is tightly controlled as if not let his coiled emotions fuse again, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was about to hurt you." He sounds so broken, and all you can do is stroke his hair.

You press a kiss to his head. You know what the right words to say are. You should be comforting him and assuring him he could never hurt you.

Instead you stay silent, softly exhaling. He can't see the pleased smile on your face.

*

"Your wrist feeling any better?"

You whip up your head to see Floch whose peering down at you in slight concern. You must have looked confused because he elaborated, "The one you accidentally banged against the doorway. Looked like it hurt."

"Oh." You pause, looking down at the fresh set of finger shaper marks overtaking the fading violet.

You laugh airily, "Yeah it's alright."