#talking as if her decisions were the result of her circumstances

[offsidekineticist]

💎💎💎for agria if you're still taking these and it strikes your fancy lol!

I am still taking them! Sorry it took so long, took some time to decide who would be most interesting to answer this one. So here's Giliys's thoughts on Agria (whom he has nicknamed 'Threads' because Giliys can't just call people by their names like a normal person, I'm so sorry).

"Threads? Well. I think I'd have liked her better if we met before the fifth crusade. I know she's got rich family, but she doesn't really count as nobility. I mean, she coulda stayed in Brevoy and tried to blend in with with the fancy Lebedas, sucked up to them, tried to marry up, but she didn't. She went and said she was part of a people with no home scattered all over Avistan, and when she realized their culture had been stolen from them, she went and said she'd steal it back. That takes guts.

"But then Areelu fucking Vorlesh got ahold of her, and - " Giliys stops himself, face taut with rage. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Look. I know most people think I don't have a conscience cuz it's calibrated different than most. But I do know this: the worst, most unforgivale things you can do to someone are the things that hurt the soul. And I know, I know, I done plenty of that in my time, but I also know it's fucked up. What Areelu Vorlesh did was un-fucking-forgivable. And Threads did her best to pick up the pieces and stitch herself back together, but...she decided not to fix what she did to her, didn't she? I don't know if she didn't think it was possible or if she actually thought she was better off for it, but either way - I mean - that's not something you choose if your soul is whole.

"So yeah. It's funny, I don't have a problem with her having magic powers from the Abyss. But the power she has as knight-commander...yeah, that's the kind of thing that twists you up inside, makes you into something else. Something that can't be fixed. And I hope Galfrey rots for pushing her into that when she was already torn up inside by Vorlesh."

[yourwosogirly]

Thunder and lightning - Lucy Bronze

Just somet I came up with just a few mo’s ago

Word count: 1.1k

As you made your way down the wooden hallway of the house you and Lucy shared in Barcelona, the sound of your footsteps created a gentle pitter-patter. The familiar creaks of the floorboards echoed through the quiet space.

However, the soft sound of your footsteps couldn't compete with the deafening rumbles of thunder in the distance. With each rumble, your body instinctively flinched, the sudden noise causing a jolt of fear to course through your veins.

Like many children growing up, you too had your own fear that, looking back, seems quite silly and even cringe-worthy. It was thunderstorms and lightning that used to send shivers down your spine.

Regrettably, you never outgrew this fear, leading to moments of embarrassment and laughter when the secret was revealed to others.You couldn't shake it off, no matter how hard you tried. It was undoubtedly a personal struggle, one that made you question yourself.However, you were fortunate to have a supportive circle of people around you who never made you feel like an outcast or labeled you as weird. Their understanding and acceptance provided a comforting refuge amidst your ongoing battle with this fear.

Just talking or even thinking about thunderstorms and lightning still makes your body shiver uncontrollably. It’s one of those moments in life when you have to give yourself a rain check and acknowledge that, in someone else’s mind, your fear meant nothing to them.

Not only was you afraid of the storm, but there was another fear lingering within you.Usually, you would have already resulted to Lucy’s embrace for a sense of comfort,but tonight was different. We had made the decision, long before this stormy night, to sleep in separate beds following an argument we had.

It was an ordinary occurrence for us to have a disagreement, just like any other couple. However, neither of us could recall the specific reason behind our argument. Nonetheless, our stubbornness prevented either of us from extending an apology to the other.

You knocked on the door with a gentle touch, hoping for a response. When no answer came from the other side, you understood the circumstances and pushed against the door slightly. Holding onto the soft blanket draped over your shoulders, you maintained a firm grip as the door creaked open, causing you to wince at the sound. However, your girlfriend remained undisturbed, still peacefully asleep despite the noise.

You experienced a whirlwind of emotions as you gazed upon the love of your life, peacefully slumbering on her side, tightly clutching her pillow. Your countenance softened at the sight of this remarkable woman who exuded a dominant aura, now appearing serene and gentle. However, a tinge of envy welled up within you as you couldn't help but marvel at her ability to sleep so deeply, seemingly unaffected by the weather outside.

Quietly, you made your way deeper into the room, attempting to be as cautious as possible not to disturb her peaceful sleep. In your mind, you silently prayed and wished that she would remain undisturbed as you navigated around the room, specifically over to the right side of the bed—the spot that Lucy had always refused to lie on.

Fortunately, you managed to be successful without waking her, prompting a sigh of relief that released the invisible burden your fatigued body had been unknowingly carrying within your lungs.

You quietly maneuvered your way into her bed, gently lifting the covers and settling myself down to align your body with Lucy's. With delicate precision,you shifted her arm that was obstructing your path and nestled yourself against her chest, relishing in the soothing rhythm of her gentle breaths. To your delight, she instinctively wrapped her arm around me, pulling me closer, and tenderly rested her chin upon your head, causing your eyes to flutter closed in contentment.

In the midst of the raging storm outside, her gentle touch washed over you, instantly dispelling your mounting fears. The chaos and uncertainty that loomed over our little haven seemed to fade away, replaced by a comforting sense of tranquillity.

Gently, you slid your hands beneath her shoulders, carefully positioning myself to provide comfort. With my left arm, I began to caress her back in soft, soothing motions, aiming to alleviate the heat that emanated from her body.

In an effort to block out the chaos around me, my focus remained solely on Luce. Humming softly in her ear, I sensed her slight stirring as she began to awaken, sensing the shift in our gentle touches and the soothing connection that formed between us.

"Baby, what's going on?" Lucy asked, her voice filled with concern as she woke up, instantly aware of the fear radiating from me. She shifted closer, wrapping her arm around me, providing a sense of comfort and security.

"There's a storm," I whispered quietly, my voice barely audible as I fiddled with my hands, suddenly overcome by embarrassment at my own admission. Despite knowing that Lucy was well aware of my fear, I couldn't help but feel self-conscious about expressing it.

With my gaze fixed on the ground, refusing to look at her, I didn't notice the realization that washed over Lucy's face. Her eyes followed my trembling form, and it was then that she turned her attention to the pouring rain outside, understanding the source of my distress.

"I'm sorry, my love," she apologized immediately, suddenly being overwhelmed with guilt for not realising my affection for the storm brewing outside the glass windows.

Though, I myself didn’t blame her since there was no way she would’ve noticed.

"It's not your fault," I shook my head instinctively, rejecting Lucy's inclination to blame herself.

"No, baby, it's not. I shouldn't have argued with you in the first place. If I hadn't, you would have been in my arms, safe and sound," she justified.

"Its okay baby,I've got you now," I sighed wearily, resting my head on her chest. I hoped that she would understand my silent plea for her to remain quiet, as all I desired at that moment was to be enveloped in her comforting embrace and escape from the burdens of the world.

"What can I do to help you?" Lucy sighed softly, her chin resting on the top of my head as we sought solace in each other's embrace. We nestled closer, seeking comfort and warmth.

She knew everything about me inside and out, we had no secrets, that’s how our relationship had lasted so long and including that she knew exactly what would calm me down and help me in situations like these but a big part of it was what I wanted and what I needed.

“Mhm, just hold me and talk about anything," I mumbled into her chest, seeking refuge from the storm. I didn't care what she talked about; her voice alone was enough to distract me from the thunderous chaos while a smile graced her lips.

"Do you want me to sing to you, baby?" she suggested, her face lighting up with a sudden burst of inspiration. I nodded eagerly, desperate for anything that might alleviate the relentless pounding of my heart.

She inhaled deeply, and as her voice filled the room, it instantly calmed my troubled soul. A smile spread across my face, breaking the tension, as I recognized the familiar melody of the song.

Cars outside

That song held deep significance in both of our hearts.

Unless you pack your bags

You're coming with me

I had the sense that every couple possessed a special song that was uniquely theirs.

I’m tired of loving from afar

And never being where you are

Ours were most definitely cars outside.

Close the windows, lock the doors

Don’t wanna leave you anymore

Even before we officially started dating, it had remained a constant presence in our lives.

Ooh-ooh, ah

Ooh-ooh, ah

Ooh-ooh, ah

Our connection grew even stronger once we finally came together.

Don’t wanna leave you anymore

As the last lyrics drifted off her lips, a loving smile adorned Lucy's face as she looked down at me. With gentle care, she brushed a stray strand of hair out of my face, a gesture that brought me a sense of comfort and peace. My body, finally surrendering to the tranquillity she had provided, succumbed to a much-needed sleep.

“Sleep tight, baby”

[annabelle--cane]

im listening to mag again and damn do the archival crew HATE jon. listen i get it supposedly your lives would be normal if he hadn't brought you here... but he didn't? (minus og archive crew, jon requesting them and all) if anything he was just kinda there when you made decisions, bro wasn't EVEN THERE when melanie got hired like??? like how r u gonna wish him pain rn, he's ltrly sopping wet and on the verge of dying💀

like another anon I got a month or so ago, this is one of my sleeper agent trigger phrases, so this might be another marina monologue moment.

as I'm also in the middle of a (for my standards) incredibly slow relisten, I've been thinking about this topic, too, but I've been coming at it from a slightly different angle than I normally do. in tim's case, we don't get an actual look at the circumstances under which he transferred to the archives, it is theoretically possible that jon laid it on a bit thick in asking him to come with him to the department and tim wouldn't have even thought of it otherwise, but with melanie we have several scenes of her hiring and onboarding where jon is not present and she continually rebuffs people who tell her she's making a mistake, so the text very clearly sets up that her blaming jon for being trapped there doesn't make sense. and, even with tim having been requested by jon, he still had to make the ultimate decision to switch departments himself, so, yknow, what gives?

most people, I think, and myself in the past, have come at this question from a very jon-centric pov because he's the main character and it's a jon-centric show, but I think putting it down to "they lash out at him because he happens to be there and stops defending himself after a while" misses something, as does "they lash out at him because elias sets everyone up to think they have an adversarial relationship to jon." more than that, I think it's about the rejection of agency.

tma is a show that's very much About agency and choices, so it's important to keep track of where characters suddenly balk and try to offload their choices onto other agents. martin, despite being very proactive and efficient when he sets his mind to it, has a consistent habit of thinking of himself as fundamentally unimportant and unable to affect real change. jon, someone who is usually culpability_acceptor_4000, really tries to convince himself that the web made him pull statements out of strangers. and melanie and tim, on realizing that they've gotten themselves stuck in the archives, have similar reactions of trying to retroactively make those decisions jon's.

they hate being stuck there and they can't bear the idea that it might be their fault, and they don't know how to reconcile the choices they did make with the greater forces outside of their control that shape their lives. tim swings right from seeing jon as fully responsible to seeing everything as the result of cosmically inevitable bad luck, and this hits him so hard that it leads directly to his suicide. post-bullet melanie gets a better handle on it; accepting that she chose to fall further into the slaughter opens her up to accepting that she made other choices, like joining the archives, as well as accepting future choices, like quitting the archives.

and yes, in the moments where tim and melanie are most vulnerable and just starting to realize how deeply screwed they are, jon (at least from their pov) does something to make it worse. when jon tells tim that jane presntiss wasn't his fault, tim says "well you sure made me feel worse afterwards! and then everyone had to pay attention to how you were feeling to get you to stop stalking us!" when melanie goes in for a second assassination attempt on elias, elias makes jon talk her down instead of doing it himself, presumably to try and get the slaughter mark done with. neither of these are the inciting incidents for tim and melanie's situations, but they stand out. and because jon is culpability_acceptor_4000, a man who feels like the weight of the whole world is on his shoulders and is even right some of the time, the accusations stick. tim and melanie don't want anything to be their fault, jon thinks everything is his fault, and it's a bit of a vicious self-fulfilling cycle.

[chunksworld]

A Moment in Time

LE SSERAFIM Sakura x Male Reader | (Tags: Smut)

A/N: Chunk goes monkey brain yet again. Thank you @kaedespicelatte as always for beta reading.

————————

Dating an idol is extremely difficult.

The unfortunate reality that dating in the industry is almost as good as killing off one’s career certainly doesn’t help, both of you are very aware about how groups had their debuts and comebacks halted because of dating scandals; and considering that the woman you’re dating is Miyawaki Sakura, a member of one of the most popular girl groups in Korea, it only means that every single step taken to ensure that such a relationship is kept strictly hidden is made that much more cautiously. Something as simple as a 20-minute parking lot date is planned meticulously to prevent any possibility of anyone finding out, great lengths are taken to make sure no one notices you two in each other’s presence. But it’s all worth it once you finally have her in your arms, even if it only occurs once or twice a month. Thank goodness for technology because you can at least remain in contact with her, something you cherish very much due to your current circumstances. And it’s not like she can ask her members for assistance because they don’t know about it either (you’ve been trying to convince her to just get it over with and tell them but she’s too stubborn to do so). 

As much as she anticipates their overwhelming love and support, she knows too well that all it will take is for them to slip up and everything she worked extremely hard for in over a decade will disappear just like that. The company policy strictly prohibits any of their talents from dating until five years after their debut and it’s not worth risking anything at this stage, not when she’s extremely successful and especially not when you two are doing everything in your powers to make it work. And yet you two somehow managed to indeed make it work despite all of the adversities. Three years strong and it doesn’t seem like you two are stopping anytime soon, if anything those trials have made your relationship that much better. But those three years of only meeting up occasionally have inevitably started to take a toll on both of you and as a result, you two have become more daring as of these past few months—testing just how far you two can take your relationship. That meant longer dates such as that one time you two actually went out to a restaurant for the first time in ages (although she insisted that you both arrive near closing time so that there are barely any patrons around) or when she finally introduced you to her parents when they finally had a day-off after their promotions. 

But even those longer dates were starting to become inadequate, with her needing your presence much more than ever due to her stressful schedules. You two are adults after all, and the lack of physical contact for weeks and months were starting to take their toll on you. As a result, she had to make a decision to tell her manager about the existence of your relationship (something she understandably greatly stressed over because of the potential consequences) and they were fortunately extremely supportive. As a result, you’ve been able to see her much more frequently even when she’s busy, although you still have to be very cautious. From bringing her food during her schedules to even driving her to their dorm, you two have been able to do things that a regular couple does for once. Gone were the days of only seeing her on your phone and hearing her voice through the speakers, you were now able to have her in your arms much more frequently. 

And today is one of those days because she kept talking about how much she wanted to see you again even though you’ve already met up with her the week prior; and as her boyfriend you are here to fulfill your duties. Thanks to her manager, you were able to successfully sneak backstage during one of their performances with a care package in hand filled with her favorite snacks and essentials. With a cap and face mask on, you managed to blend in with the other staff members seamlessly. It also helps that you even have your own fake staff ID that was intricately made with the help of her manager, a perfect disguise that has worked flawlessly for the past few months. After a few minutes of watching her performance (she looks stunning as usual and there’s something about her in that outfit that makes a certain part of your body react though that’s something you would never admit to her), you carefully made your way back to her personal dressing room as it was finally starting to wrap up.

You wait patiently, making sure not to make any noises so as to not cause any suspicion. Her group is known as being one of the loudest due to their personalities and how close they are to each other so it was easy to recognize that they were approaching. The staff were congratulating them on yet another win but little does your girlfriend know that she’s got another surprise coming her way. More laughter and chatter in the background while the staff tells them to get ready in 45 minutes. You can clearly hear her voice, laughing at something that Yunjin said before they went their own ways. Her footsteps are starting to get louder, and you step closer to the door to greet her. You can slowly see the door knob starting to turn and as soon as she opens the door you bring her close to you.

“Hmmph!” Your lips immediately clash with Sakura’s, trained hands making sure to close and lock the door behind you despite the commotion. The kiss is desperate, it’s hot, it’s messy, and it conveys what a thousand words can’t. She misses you. Forget the fame and the money, there’s nothing in this world that she prefers more than being by your side–and of course, you feel the same way. Two weeks of not being able to see each other built up to this, all of the times she told you how badly she wanted you, all of those times she called you in the middle of the night and told you what she wanted you to do to her. It was all building up to this and neither of you can wait. Her arms wrap around your neck and so does her legs around her waist while you bring her towards the counter and place her on top of it gently. You don’t stop kissing her, hands roaming her exposed stomach while your tongue fights for dominance with hers, earning yourself a muffled whimper from her at the scalding heat your fingers generate.

But the biological need to breathe oxygen reigns supreme and you have to regrettably pull away after a few minutes. Deep pants as she tries to recover—her chest heaving from the brief but intense session, her cheeks a light hue of red, her lips slightly swollen and much redder than before. Everything about her right now is so hot, so fucking hot, and that just makes her that much more irresistible in your eyes. She hasn’t said a word yet but those eyes of hers are already telling you one thing, “fuck me.” You haven’t seen that look before and it just makes you want to rip every single piece of clothing from both of your bodies and fuck her right at this very moment. Sakura must sense this as well because she pulls you for yet another liplock, this time working on the buttons of your shirt. The expensive piece of fabric is then thrown somewhere in her dressing room, her lips immediately traveling down the expanse of your chest and stomach. “God, I missed you so fucking much.”

“M-Me too, baby.” It’s becoming difficult to form coherent sentences as she leaves kisses all over your body, even more so after she grabs your clothed length that’s forming a tent inside your pants which causes you to groan. It all happens quickly—she jumps off the counter and kneels down in front of you, her skilled hands working on unbuckling your belt and removing the clothing obstructing her view of the treasured prize. Shivers immediately run down your spine as she pulls down your pants along with your boxers; your dick is already fully erect and dripping with so much precum, it stands proudly in front of your girlfriend and she bites her lips at the sight. Take off your shoes and throw them to the side along with your pants and boxers, leaving you completely naked in front of her.

“So fucking hard for me already….” Sakura’s delicate fingers slowly wrap themselves around your shaft and it takes every muscle in your body not to explode on her perfect face already. You can only bite your lip to prevent yourself from making any loud noises; maybe it was a bad idea to do this inside her dressing room. But all of those doubts are washed away the moment she starts to increase the pace, your precum helping her jerk you off faster as lewd noises of your cock fills the room. More precum continues to drip out and your sensitivity only increases, you continue to moan and groan helplessly under her touch. Her hands are now fondling your balls that are heavy and full just for her, giving them a soft squeeze. She smirks at this, proud that you followed through with your promise of not masturbating until you’ve met up with her again (a difficult task considering how often she would tease you by sending nudes). “Looks like you were really saving up for me, baby. How about I help you unload all of this cum?”

You could only tilt your head back and groan silently as she finally takes you in between her lips, her warm and tight mouth sends immense pleasure through your brain and you have to hold on to the edges of the counter or you’ll stumble forward. It’s only fortunate that the walls of this room are thick enough to give you two a sense of privacy because it’s becoming extremely difficult to restrain the sounds coming out of your mouth. “K-Kkura shit, just like that….” It gets even more intense once her tongue joins the fray, licking and swirling around your tip as she drinks up all of the precum that you have to offer. And since this isn’t your first rodeo with her, it doesn’t take too long before she’s able to take your whole shaft inside her mouth. Her trained gag reflex allows her to bob her head up and down your entire length with ease, effectively sucking the soul out of you. 

She would alternate between sucking you off with her mouth and giving you a handjob, a combination so deadly that it only takes a few more minutes before that familiar feeling in your stomach makes its presence known. It doesn’t help that she looks so fucking pretty with your dick in between her mouth, the way she would look at you with such an intense and lustful gaze that each and every tug on your length is bringing you closer and closer to unravelling. So you decide to take matters into your own hands by softly grabbing onto her head and thrusting gently into her mouth, essentially meeting her halfway with each bob of your head. Just the thought of filling her mouth with your cum, overflowing it so much that she won’t be able to contain it all is driving you crazy. But it seems like she has other plans because just as you were about to completely erupt she removes your dick from her mouth, a trail of saliva forming as a result. “K-Kkura, w-what the fuck?” She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, her lipstick now almost non-existent as your dick twitches in the aftermath

“Not yet, baby. I don’t want your cum down my throat.” She stands up to meet you at face level and leans into your ears. “I want it inside my pussy instead.” That is all you needed to hear as you brought your lips to hers once again, reaching for the hem of her black top and pulling it over head before furiously throwing it somewhere in the same manner as your shirt—you could only hope that it wasn’t an expensive top. But it doesn’t really matter as her perky tits are revealed to you and you waste no time, latching your lips on her left nipple. You swirl your tongue around the stiff bud while your fingers fondle with her right breast. They’ve always been your favorite part of her body and you always make sure to appreciate them properly during sex. The pretty moans coming out of her mouth is just an added incentive. You give her other breast the same treatment, making sure it’s completely covered in saliva when you’re done. 

“I’m so fucking horny for you, you know that?” You could suck on her tits all day if you can but this isn’t necessarily the place and time for that. So you proceed with removing her pants and panties, remembering to eat her out properly next time at an appropriate setting. It’s not a surprise that she’s sopping wet already, her juices already drenching her inner thighs as her pink pussy is ready to accept your cock. And you do exactly that, lifting her by the waist and placing her on the counter yet again as you align your length with her pussy carefully before plunging in. She’s already lubricated enough so you immediately start thrusting, the suffocating warmth and tightness is unrivaled and it’s a feeling that you will never get tired of. Uncontrolled moans from the two of you fill the room and you really hope that the soundproofed walls are doing their job properly.

Stare into her eyes and despite still being filled with lust, you could also see the love and passion. And that’s what makes sex with Sakura even more special. It always serves as a consummation of your relationship and how much you two mean to each other. “Fuck baby, I love you so much.” She smiles, bringing you to a passionate kiss—one that is much slower and less urgent than the ones that came before it. And yet it’s hotter and more arousing as you continue to fuck her. Her arms reach around your shoulders and back, holding on to you tightly as she pressed her divinely body closer to yours as you continue to make love. As soon as her lips leave your mouth you target her neck, placing chaste kisses as you drink in her intoxicating and alluring scent. You're careful not to leave a mark however, unless you want her to scold you again.

One particular thrust causes her to yelp and lean her head back, confirming the location of her g-spot. It only urges you to increase the pace and the sound of wet skin slapping against each other is all that fills the room along with your moans. The intensity of your thrusts causes her breasts to bounce and you couldn’t help but lean and suck on one of her nipples yet again, still wet with saliva from your treatment earlier. Her moans grow in intensity and it’s only going to be a matter of time before Chaewon checks up on her so you divert your attention from her breasts yet again to seal her mouth with yours, you don’t mind kissing her all day either, anyways. With trained accuracy, you continue pounding at her g-spot which causes her to melt into putty. After a few more minutes, she suddenly wraps her arms tightly around your neck again and you know it’s a signal that her release is coming soon. 

“Cum for me, Kkura.” You increase your pace even more, making sure to target her g-spot every time as you want to witness her unraveling. Her breathing has become unstable, her eyes shaky as she wraps her legs around you as well. Wet squelches become even louder as her moans also do the same, leaving you with no choice but to kiss her yet again. It’s a shame that you have to do so because you want the whole world to know just how much Miyawaki Sakura loves your cock (she’d loudly proclaim it to the world if she could). But you unfortunately don’t have the luxury so after a few more thrusts, she tightens deliciously around you as she arches her back which allows her body to press against yours yet again. Her moans vibrate in your mouth as tears from pure pleasure flows down her pretty eyes. Her juices flood the marble countertop as you continue to fuck her through her orgasm. Her walls constrict around your dick so tightly but you held on, you wanted to hold on because you’re not done yet.

Even in the aftermath, her otherworldly visual never falters. In fact, she looks even more ethereal in the afterglow of sex. The way her skin glows because of the intense light behind her, the way her lips slightly part as she tries to catch her breath, the way her eyes slowly start to gain focus on her surroundings once again. She truly is one of the most beautiful women in the world. “I really missed your dick so much….” You resort to kissing her as you help her come down from her orgasm, hands fixing her disheveled hair while lazy hands roam her sweaty body. The make out session lasts for a few minutes and Sakura smiles as she pulls away, “Now it’s your turn. Take me how you want, baby.” 

You do just that, pulling yourself out of her pussy before turning her over the counter and bending her over. This allows you the opportunity to view her perfectly shaped ass and her freshly-fucked pussy that is still sopping wet despite one orgasm down the drain. But the ultimate reason is that you are able to watch her facial expressions while you fuck her thanks to the mirrors. No more foreplay needed, you insert yourself inside her cunt yet again. Her face immediately contorts in pleasure as you grab on to her hips and begin to thrust at a frantic pace. Grab on her tits and pull her upright so that her back leans on your chest, increasing your pace as you pepper her neck and shoulders with kisses. If she was beautiful earlier, she looks even more stunning now. Eyes closed and mouth hanging open as each thrust reverberates throughout her body, it’s a sight hotter than you even imagined and it’s only a matter of time before you finally explode considering that you’ve been on the verge of orgasm twice now. “K-Kkura I’m gonna fucking cum.”

“It’s okay baby.” She gives you a nod, placing a kiss on your lips as she gently squeezes your biceps. “It’s my safe day today, please cum inside me please.” Those desperate eyes of hers are your weakness and her next few words are what finally causes your undoing.  “I want to feel your cum flooding me please, breed me.” You have to kiss her to muffle your groans as you completely unload inside her, spurting thick shot after thick shot of semen inside her walls as your vision completely goes white. Two weeks worth of cum is unloaded inside her all at once, and it doesn’t seem like you’ll ever stop cumming. Each thrust is accompanied by a shot of your cum and you make sure that it’s embedded deep within her. You eventually slow down, your hips rutting as you lean over to rest your head on her shoulder after you've completely drained your balls inside her. Take a look at both of your reflections on the mirror; you both look tired, aching, sweaty, but so damn satisfied. That might be your best sex with her yet and she seems to agree with the way she looks at you in awe. She turns her head, smiling as she gives you one final kiss.

“I love you, Kkura-chan.”

“I love you too, ba–“

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Kkura unnie, we’re leaving in 10 minutes!” That familiar voice can only belong to Kazuha, and you two are suddenly reminded of the fact that you are not in your apartment but are instead in her dressing room. You two quickly clean up the place and get dressed up, hoping that the room doesn’t reek of sex by the time you two leave. She sprays her perfume to mask the scent and you give her one quick kiss before putting on your cap and mask, making a quick exit from her dressing room. As you make your way back to the car, she sends you a text.

From: Kkura

“I’ll be at your place tonight, this time I want it in my ass ;).”

[harmonysanreads]

i keep on thinking about yan!neuvillette lately ever since i saw those posts you reblogged 😭🙏

yan!neuvillette who has you arrested and tried in fontaine’s supreme court. having secretly worked with the prosecutors to make sure that the odds are against you, he rules that you are guilty of a crime which you, in reality, didn’t commit — but the evidence was stacked against you, and the defence certainly had no chance in winning the trial.

after all, neuvillette was the chief justice of the supreme court. the highest position one could have in this nation, second only to the hydro archon herself. who wouldn’t trust his judgement, especially when it appeared that you truly were guilty of the crimes you were accused of?

yan!neuvillette, expected by society to uphold the law and help maintain peace and order within the nation as their reliable chief justice, but neuvillette knew how to keep his position and reputation secure while using his vast knowledge of all the ins and outs of the laws, and what loopholes there are and aren’t in order to bend things to his will — namely, your circumstances. nobody knew fontaine’s legal system better than he did; and you’re the only thing he’d bend the rules for.

the majestic ornate walls of gold within the opera epiclese have never felt so suffocating before.

and, as she always did with every trial, the hydro archon oversaw yours; but it appeared that all she cared for was excitement, seeking thrills and theatrical twists that belonged to the stage. it was made clear rather quickly that the last thing she would do was interfere with neuvillette’s verdict, evidently having long lost her interest in your case.

there’s nothing else to turn to. no one else to turn to. neuvillette had the highest form of authority that a citizen of the land of justice could hold, so even if you were highly dissatisfied with the result of your trial, there was no higher court you could appeal to. the decision of the supreme court was final.

yan!neuvillette who even gave periodical visits to you down in the prisons, much to your surprise and apparent confusion — you would’ve thought that any business with this man was over the moment the gavel was struck and the court adjourned. but whatever matters a man as important as neuvillette had to tend to in the prison, he certainly spent a good portion of that time speaking to you. even the prison guards were momentarily dismissed while he stood before the bars of your cell to hold brief talks with you.

yan!neuvillette who one day quite nonchalantly revealed that he was actually fully aware of your innocence during the trial.

does he truly hold the right to judge the crimes of others if he, too, is guilty of committing such injustices behind the scenes?

the sudden spark of realisation and anger in your eyes, that shift in expression that was a fire that burned so strongly, caused the slightest change in his otherwise neutral conduct. it’s something that made you so interesting to him. however, venomous insults began to spill out of your lips, ruining that momentary image. you should remember your current circumstances, he reminded you. you were in no position to be uttering such expletives towards him, of all people. and to think he was about to offer you a way out, a way to clear your name, perhaps..

but you only deserve such a mercy if you hold your tongue and cooperate with him.

the conversation continued no further that day — he walked off without another word, leaving you to your own thoughts.

- 🕯️

Mmmmmm, delectable as always nonnie! I love how we all agree that Yandere!Neuvillette is so unfair in all the ironic ways. Not only are you unable to oppose his unjust verdicts but also you cannot reason with his logic. Since we're still yet to see more of him, you know what would make him absolutely terrifying? If he had not even a shred of guilt for what he was doing. And seeing as how Focalors never really intervenes in the trials, we can guess who gives him all this power and self-assurance. All speculations thus far, of course.

Neuvillette seems like someone who values etiquette. That being said, I don't think he's someone who'd opt for physical punishments rather, he'd probably make you memorize all the ridiculous court etiquette of Fontaine. Especially if you misbehave, the tomes of Fontaine's constitution are waiting for you.

[httpknjoon]

(re)starting over again | kth; 10.5

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 3.5k

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | -

note | more angst haha I swear rainbows and sunshine are coming soon. icymi, I made a spotify playlist for this series! it gets updated every time I write for mc and taehyung. expect it to be angsty haha! anyways, enjoy reading this one. let me know y'all's thoughts.

main masterlist | series masterlist

“Are you sure about this?”

Gail, your supervisor, looked at you while holding the paper you gave her just minutes ago. Your heart beats heavier and louder as you stood in front of her. Gail was never a terrifying supervisor to you. She was always considerate. But this thing that you’re doing right now is still nail-biting. You came to work early today just so you can talk to her. No one knew about your plan except you. 

“Yes,” you replied, unconsciously fiddling with the fabric of your scrub pants.

She stared at you for what felt like a minute. You cannot even read what’s going on in her head. Her eyes wore no emotions and her lips formed a thin line. She moved her sight to the paper again. You felt like you needed to say something.

You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry if it seemed too soon.”

“Oh, it’s fine. We all know two weeks is the minimum time for notices like this.” Finally, her lips broke into a small smile, easing you for a little, as she looks at you again. “May I ask your reason for making this decision?”

You didn’t hesitate on telling your true reason, “I need to take a break and a new environment due to recent circumstances.”

That was two days ago. Gail approved your resignation letter after that exchange and was supportive of your decision. She said you can come to her anytime if you need a recommendation letter for your next employer. Your two-week notice began that same day without anyone– even Jisoo or Julia– knowing. You don’t want to disturb Jisoo because she’s already stressed enough with her wedding.

“You coming home?” Julia asked as you two get your bags on your lockers. 

You two just finished your graveyard shift at seven o clock. You just had a twelve-hour shift but you’re still off to somewhere.

You shook your head, “Not yet. I’m taking a train to Incheon.” 

Her head tilted in your direction, “What? Why? That’s like an hour's ride from here.”

“I’ll be checking this studio apartment unit I saw online,” you answered like it’s not a big deal.

Her eyes widened almost instantly, “You’re moving?!”

You quietly nod your head to her surprised question. A hint of excitement was also obvious in her tone.

“That’s far! Have you told Jisoo yet?”

“Nope.”

“How about Taehyung? Is he going to travel from there to his shop every day? And the house–”

“I still haven’t talked to him about it.” you cut her off calmly before she can ask anything else.

Julia was quick to understand what you meant. Your lips formed into a small, sad smile after saying that. Julia just waved her hand back when you waved yours as you bid goodbye. She instantly knew that moving to a new place isn’t the only life-changing choice you’re making in your life right now.

It was a couple of days before Jisoo and Namjoon’s special day, exactly three days in your two-week notice. Raindrops just happened to visit every night you have a late night shift. You didn’t notice the weather until you heard the roars of thunder while you were in the shower. 

You were busy the whole day in your room. Just cleaning up, feeling like a robot, numbly working so much but eating less. You only had a late breakfast. Taehyung made you buttermilk waffles with fruits, leaving it in a Tupperware on your kitchen counter. You ate and made sure to leave no dishes in the sink. Like a ghost, that’s how you liked to describe your recent presence in your shared home.

You find yourself busy since morning, removing photos in the frames you displayed before and folding some of your clothes from your closet to your luggage. Then, you prepared for your eight-hour shift. Just five minutes past ten in the evening, you walked out of your room ready to go.

“Hey.” 

You saw Taehyung sitting on one of the chairs on your kitchen counter. A thin sheet of smoke from the cup on the table showed he was drinking tea. 

“Hi.” you greeted him shortly.

The shorter your response is, the smaller the chances of small talk, you thought. 

“I packed you some light snacks there. Just some granola and fruits. Also, yogurt.”  

You want to feel something. The joy and giddiness you always have when Taehyung does nice things for you, pre and post-accident. Something that will make your day and shifts your mood. But you almost felt nothing now.

“It’s raining hard tonight,” he mumbled, looking outside the small window in your kitchen.

“It is.”

You tried to busy yourself with putting the snacks he prepared in your bag, not even looking up at him. Not until he said,

“Can I walk you to the stop?” 

Finally, you looked at him. He cannot assume if you’re surprised based on your expression because your face remained blank. No emotions at all.

He continued, ”I just want to make sure you’ll get to work safely.”

“Okay.” Whatever you say.

“You know, you don’t have to do any of this.” You were just looking ahead as you resumed, “You’re not obligated to do anything with me.”

“I wanted to do this.” He replied.

You knew he was looking in your direction through your peripheral vision. As much as you wanted to believe his sincerity, you don’t want to get your hopes high. He was just being nice. That’s it.

Before you go, he handed you another extra umbrella. No one said a single word. You sat away from the windows, just at the back of the bus. Because you knew damn well that you might feel guilty if you see Taehyung frozen on the same spot, waiting for your bus to leave.

“Wake her up. I’ll take out our stuff.”

Jimin unfastened his seatbelt after parking the car. Taehyung turned his head back to your direction. You have been sleeping throughout the whole night and none of them bothered to wake you up when they had a quick stopover since they knew you came from an overnight shift earlier. He got off his seat, gently closing the passenger door.

“YN….” he softly calls for your name.

It took him two more calls before you hummed and moved on to your seat. Your eyes were still closed as you respond to him, still half-asleep,

“What?”

“We’re here…”

Slowly, your eyes opened. You blink a couple times before rubbing your eyes as you sat back properly. Slightly confused, you looked around. He watched as you slowly get back to your senses and realize that you have arrive at the event venue.

“Oh…” you said under your breath. You ran your hand on your dress to smoothen out the tiny wrinkles. Unexpectedly, you turned to Taehyung, “How do I look? Did my hair–”

“Lovely,” he murmured.

For a moment there, you thought you heard a small beat inside your chest. You stare at each other’s eyes and the first thing you sense was familiarity. Then, longing. Then, abruptly, you looked away. Taehyung wasn’t sure if your eyes began glistening before you blinked away. He was about to ask when Jimin spoke outside the car,

“Is she awake? Let’s go. The rehearsal is starting soon, we still have to get these bags in the hotel.”

Thank God, you found a slight relief. Taehyung moved out of your way to let you get out of the car. Minutes later, you, Taehyung, and Jimin are walking to the entrance of the hotel when someone greeted you.

“Oh, my god. Hi!”

Yoonji, Jisoo’s cousin and also one of the bridesmaids, greeted you on your way into the small hotel meant for guests. He recognized her as one of the girls who brought you home after Jisoo’s bachelorette party. You two hugged for a quick second while she smiled politely at Taehyung and Jimin, who introduced himself.

“You can just go tell the receptionist your names. Then, they will say what’s your room number,” she instructed in a little hurry. “The rehearsal will be starting in a few minutes!”

She was pulled by another woman, who you assume is Jisoo’s other relative. You followed what she said and the receptionist was pleasant when she asked for your names. After that, she handed out two keys.

“Room 23 is for Mr. Park. Room 27 is for Ms. YN and Mr. Kim.” Kath, the said receptionist, said.

Your jaw almost dropped while Taehyung froze. Jimin, who stood between you two, immediately noticed your silent reactions. He took the initiative to ask,

“Uhm… May we request another room?”

Kath shook her head, “I’m sorry, sir. But the Kims were the ones who arranged everyone’s rooms.”

You cleared your throat as your brain began processing again, “But do you guys have other available rooms that we can pay for?” 

“We’re currently fully booked, miss. We assume the Kims already booked enough rooms for their relatives and other important guests. So we had our further rooms booked for other visiting guests in town.”

After squeezing your eyes shut while listening to her explanation, you just forced a smile, “Okay, we understand. Thank you.”

Your rooms were on the upper floor and there were only stairs. Taehyung offered to carry your small luggage for you but you declined. Both men could not tell if you were pissed as you kept a straight face until you and Taehyung stood in front of the twenty-seventh room. He unlocked the door for you two.

“Hm.” 

You unconsciously let out a heavy sigh as you and Taehyung scanned the whole room with your eyes. The room was not that… spacious. But it has what a guest needs. A king-sized bed, closet, own bathroom, a table and a chair, and flat-screen television mounted on the wall for entertainment. Plus, a big window with big curtains. 

“You know, maybe I can just go to Jimin’s,” Taehyung, who’s standing behind you, suggested.

But you looked at him, “Do you want to?”

“What?” he blinked, maybe he misheard it.

“Do you want to go there? I mean, this is a king-sized bed. I’m fine sharing it, less hassle. We can put a divider or something.” you recommended, pointing to the bed.

“Are you okay with that?”

You nod, “Yeah. Are you?”

“Okay.” Taehyungs nods too.

“Okay,” you whispered.

It was silent again after that. The atmosphere was weird and maybe suffocating. You are starting to hate this kind of air every time you’re with him. It’s encouraging the decisions you’ve been thinking about lately. Breaking the ice, you looked up at him.

“Uhm, we should go. The rehearsal’s starting soon.”

“Thank you for helping make tomorrow the perfect day for us.” 

The wedding rehearsals earlier were quick as it was not that complicated. Everyone was later invited to the rehearsal dinner. Your seats were pre-arranged. So of course, you two sat next to each other. 

Jisoo was in the middle of her dinner toast when Taehyung took a glance at you. Your sights were focused on the couple who stood in the middle of the event. Your lips formed into a relieved smile as your eyes brighten.

"Tonight, we appreciate you, the people we treasure the most. We toast to having the best wedding team ever!"

Everyone raised their glasses of wine and champagne and took a sip from their drinks. Then, everyone began talking to someone while enjoying the rest of the dinner. Everyone around you and Taehyung is having fun conversations. Even Jimin, who is now talking to some guests. After stealing another glance in your direction, he thought of making a conversation with you.

“I’ve never seen Namjoon that happy,” he mumbled as he looked at his friend.

Unexpectedly, you responded, looking at the couple, “So is Jisoo. Look at their smiles.” 

“How did they meet?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s a really good meet-cute.” you chuckled, shoulders visibly relaxing. 

Then, you began talking about the beginning of your friends’ love story. You were proud as you shared that you were present when they first met. And after days of getting blank stares and rejections from you, Taehyung can see a genuine smile on your face again. He can listen to more of your stories if that is what it takes for you two to be okay again.

The conversation plays out until you and Taehyung decided to get out of the event since guests began going too. From Jisoo and Namjoon’s meet-cute, the topic jumped to how you had a couple of double dates with them. You were enjoying telling stories that you almost forgot about that gloomy feeling you’d been having in you for days now until Taehyung asked another question while you two stroll your way back to your shared room.

“Maybe we could do that again with them?”

You turned your head at him, raising an eyebrow, “What?”

“Double dates. It seemed like we had fun with them,” he replied, hands in his pockets as he smiled softly.

Then, once again, these heavyweights slowly landed on your shoulders and you can feel something breaking inside of you, making you clutch your palm on the skirt of your dress. Taehyung quicking took notice of you pausing and looking at him with lips slightly parted and the joy in your eyes faded, worrying him.

“Hey? You okay?” he asked gently, looking at you.

With that, you snapped out of your trance and nods, “Yeah, sorry.”

God! Get ahold of yourself. You remind yourself. You remembered your things packed back at home and the resignation you signed days ago. You already had a plan and this sudden idea from Taehyung should not change any of it. Unconsciously, you let out a sigh. Taehyung’s heart beats faster.

“Did I say anything wrong?

“Oh, no.” you forced a smile as you took steps with him to the stairs. You let out an awkward chuckle, “I just don’t think we can do double dates anytime soon.”

“Ah, yeah.” he went along.

And it’s silent all over again. But this time, there was this air between you two. You both can feel that someone wants to say something to another. But, both of you two can’t. With every step closer to your room, the air gets thinner and thinner. And when you stood outside your door,

It shattered.

“Can we talk?”

“Can I talk to you?”

Both you and Taehyung said at the same time. You two were staring at each other when you said that. And when you two realized what happened, you looked away with an airy chuckle. You opened the door and he followed inside.

“So… are we going to talk here or outside?” Taehyung spoke when he saw you opening the curtains, letting the fresh air get into the room.

“Uhm, here’s fine,” you replied before inhaling again on the small balcony.

The original plan was to let Taehyung know about your plans after this event. But you just can’t keep it anymore. Especially after you reacted with Taehyung offering ideas like double date again. Taehyung wanted to wait too and he was willing. But he felt he needed to say what he wants now. It might help your relationship at the moment.

“Okay,” you whispered.

You sat on the soft mattress of the bed. Taehyung took a seat on the chair next to the table, just a few feet away from you. He watched as you bit your lip, looking down. You fiddled with your fingers and he can see your chest heave. You were visibly nervous and it makes him wonder what are going to say. 

“YN–”

“Can–”

He nods at you to continue and you did, “I was just going to ask if I can go first.”

“Sure,” he answered, leaning back in the chair.

“Okay. Thank you,” you said every word with the heaviest sigh since you find your heart pounding like crazy just now. 

With all the will in your body, you focused your sight on the man in front of you. His hair was pushed back and the first two buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned. His eyes gaze back at yours, you wished you can just communicate with him through this since it might be easier. But you can’t. And within seconds, you can feel the tears at the edge of your blurring sight.

“Taehyung…I… Uhm…” you stuttered when you see a flicker of concern in his eyes. But you continued, “I’m leaving.”

He just stared after you said that. Then, you read the confusion on his face, “What?”

You gulped, “I’m leaving this… arrangement … or whatever this is called. Us. I’m leaving us.”

Your hands shake while waiting for a reaction from him when you said that. But you cannot read his face anymore so you went on.

“I’m moving out of the house. I already looked for an apartment. I know, the house is our shared property. We can talk about the whole splitting thing when I–”

“Are we breaking up?” Taehyung finally said something. His eyebrows were scrunched and his eyes were surprised. But his tone was in between shock and sadness. And maybe mad. You cannot tell.

“Is there even any relationship to break?” 

That was the first thing that came into your mind and you barely thought about it as you said it. You matched his tone. Now, it feels like you two were overwhelmed with emotions and the silence that followed after your question helped to at least make you calm a little. 

Taehyung, on the other hand, is not off his peak of emotions. But he was quiet. He doesn’t know what to feel. He cannot tell what he’s been feeling. Even after what happened these past few days, he didn’t expect to hear this from you. 

“You don’t know me, Taehyung. I’m basically a stranger to you and I’m more than grateful to you for at least letting me take care of you after the accident. But it’s not your obligation to be with me just because I was your girlfriend. The last thing that I want is to force you to stay committed–”

You were ready to end the conversation just like that. But Taehyung cut you off,

“What if I want to? What if I want to be with you now?”

“What?”

You didn’t sound happy. Because you’re not. Taehyung sensed it, you felt quite the opposite when he said that. Still, you stumbled with words.

“Wh– No! N-No, you don’t.”

“I do,” he said like you were challenging him to say it.

You remained unhappy and let out a firm, “No.”

“I do. Why do you keep–”

“Because that would just make me feel shit! You only want me now because you learned what happened between you and Lily!”

Taehyung’s mouth immediately ran dry. For the first time ever since the accident, you raised your voice at him. It’s like watching a volcano explode. Warm drops of tears flow down your cheeks. Your lips were quivering as you continued. Your shoulder shakes as you continued,

“You can’t just choose me like that! That’s fucking unfair! I– I’ve been feeling nothing but awful and lonely for the longest time. I can’t even sleep without having a nightmare about that night! And now that I’m trying to do something for myself, you’re telling me you want to be with me? Right after talking to your ex behind my back? The ex that you originally remembered as your girlfriend? Taehyung, that’s just so fucking unfair.”

You remained seated on the bed but your hand was clutching on the sheet under you. Your voice became weaker as you reached the last sentence. Wiping your tears, you cleared your throat,

 

“If you want me now, that would make me feel like someone you just kept around as a second choice. You know?”

Hearing that, Taehyung instinctively shakes his head, “No, it’s not like that–”

“But that’s how I feel right now,” you confessed in a sad whisper. “And I’m scared that the longer I try to keep this relationship, the higher the chance I’ll lose myself in the process.”

That was another confession. After countless talks and reflection with yourself and your close friends, you knew that sooner or later you have to go for your own. It just took you long to accept it and take a step. You were hopeful then.

It took some minutes for someone to say something again. There was like a big question in the room with you, asking, what’s next. Taehyung who remained speechless in the same chair, just watched you quietly. While you got up from the bed and reached for your phone and room keys. 

“Five years was a lot to be missed and forgotten, Taehyung. I just think that if we go on our separate ways, you can focus on exploring what you lost without the pressure of being committed to me. And I can try to focus on myself again.”

taglist rules

this series' taglist is currently under-construction and renovation lol reply if you want to be added

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]

@iamkookiesforyou @aianloveseven @hoodalmighty @taebangtanbabe @kthsmoon @nooojaaam @hiimnothing @hiqhkey

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd​ @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1 @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12

[skeletonpunching]

Buddy Daddies interview with Toyonaga Toshiyuki, Uchiyama Koki, and Kino Hina

Interview with Toyonaga Toshiyuki, Uchiyama Koki, and Kino Hina (voice actors for Kurusu Kazuki, Suwa Rei, and Unasaka Miri)

[Translator's note: This interview contains spoilers for the entire series.]

Interviewer: In the final arc of "Buddy Daddies", some disturbing developments unfold in the lives of Kurusu Kazuki, Suwa Rei, and Unasaka Miri. How did that make you feel?

Kino: Kazuki, Rei, and Miri seemed to have become a real family, but once Miri's mother reappeared, I wondered just how things would progress towards the climax. Since it's an original series, I really was going ahead with zero idea of what was in store. I hoped no one would die, but in the end, Miri's mother did, and Kazuki and Rei took Miri in - that was a bit of a surprise. I was imagining all sorts of things, like, "I wonder if Rei's going to die..."

Uchiyama: Huh? Really?! (laughs)

Toyonaga: Even in the recording studio, we were chatting about "is someone gonna die..."

Kino: My father was also one of the viewers, and as he watched Rei's speedy evolution, he said, "I sure hope he doesn't die." (laughs)

Uchiyama: Come to think of it, him shouting, "Go for it!" at sports day really feels like a death flag.

Toyonaga: When it comes down to it, Miri-chan is in the most tragic situation of all - she's gone through the disaster of losing both her real parents. It's just Miri-chan's age that keeps her from fully understanding her circumstances; when we were recording live, I kept thinking that this must be so tough for Kino-san, who understands everything, but instead has to keep up that pure innocence the whole time.

Kino: The storyline and character backgrounds are rather dark, so I figured surely Miri would be heartbroken and burst into tears, sometime in the final arc. But there was no scene like that, all the way to the very end. Her only crying scenes were when she was throwing tantrums, so throughout the whole series, she stands out being as a girl with a bright smile. But I feel like the reason why Miri can stay ignorant of all this is because Kazuki-papa and Rei-papa take such good care of her. So I also tried to play the role without letting any stray thoughts get into my head.

Toyonaga: Her papas might have stayed a "comedian" and an "oil baron" until the very end. (laughs)

Interviewer: Kazuki and Rei's feelings towards Miri also underwent major changes, compared to how they started out.

Toyonaga: The entire plot was structured around the idea that the assassin job would hinder them in being parents; eventually, as a result of them being subordinates to the organisation, their ties - to Rei's father and so on - would get in the way. If so, what decision would the two of them make regarding Miri-chan? That was how things played out. And they did exchange blows with Ogino (Ryo) after all. In episode 10, they thought, "We can't change," and temporarily decided to return Miri to her mother - but in episode 11, both of them were incredibly hung up on this, and they ultimately couldn't let go. I think that's just how indispensable Miri-chan's presence had become to Kazuki and Rei, over the course of those 11 episodes.

Uchiyama: In the episode 10 ferris wheel scene, Rei expresses some lingering reluctance, with a melancholy look we've never seen from him before. That's where you can really see his emotional development. Another striking moment is in episode 11, where Rei confirms that Miri is unhurt, and brings up wanting to adopt her. It's quite a bold change for Rei to say something like that, even though Kazuki is saying it'd be better to step aside. He's voicing his feelings, in the longest lines of dialogue he's ever had, in order to change Kazuki's mind; it really has such a climactic feeling to it. I was wondering exactly how I myself should play this, in order to sway Kazuki emotionally.

Toyonaga: You really never talked so much before episode 11.

Uchiyama: In episode 12, there's also a scene where he's giving his father a long speech; when I saw the script, I went, "That's a lot..."

Toyonaga: Yeah, that was me all the time, up to episode 10. (laughs)

Uchiyama: Sorry! (laughs) Anyway, Rei's dialogue increases drastically in the second half of the show, and he displays a side you haven't seen at all in the first half. It leaves quite an impact.  

Toyonaga: The fact that he can say so much to his father - that's new too.

Interviewer: After all that, in the final episode, we're shown how the trio's future plays out. 

Uchiyama: That was a real surprise. If Miri's a high school student now, that means about ten years have passed. I was totally in the dark about that ending until I saw the script. I incorporated quite an adult tone into my voice whenever I was voicing Rei, so I thought, "If you're going to jump ahead into the future, give me a heads-up first!" (laughs) He's a dark character who's lived as an assassin this whole time, so I was already pulling out all the stops to make him as adult as I could manage. "I can't make him any older than this!" I thought.

Toyonaga: I was right next to him in the studio, and he told me, "No, I can't go any lower than this." (laughs)

Uchiyama: Actually, they didn't ask for any major changes. They weren't going for a simplistic sense of ageing - they just wanted him to seem like he'd matured somewhat emotionally. I appreciated that. Kazuki is 39 years old, I think. 

Toyonaga: Yeah, he grew a beard and all.

Uchiyama: And Rei being 36 was a shock.

Toyonaga: Likewise, rather than "Kazuki's gotten older", it was more like we should simply be aware of the passage of time. And when you think about it rationally, the 39-year-old Kazuki is around the same age as me now. I turn 39 this year. So I thought it'd be nice if I could portray a certain age-appropriate composure. Kino-san, I bet you were even more surprised?

Kino: That's right. When I received the script for episode 12, there was a drawing of a grown-up Miri on the back cover, and it gave me such a shock. Then I checked the footage and saw that she really had grown up; I was so taken aback! I usually play a lot of little kids, so I went into the studio thinking, "Will this really work out?" During rehearsals, I was keeping her age increase in mind, so I tried to give a pretty subdued performance. But I was told that the bubbliness was "very Miri", and it would be best to keep that. So I course-corrected for the actual performance. I think Miri's total emotional stability must be the result of Kazuki and Rei's trial-and-error parenting, and that's why all of them were able to find their happy ending. You can sense that they've become a real family.

Toyonaga: I once asked Director Asai, just in passing, how it would all turn out in the end. He said something like, "For a story like this, a tragic ending is also a real possibility..." So I was also on tenterhooks, wondering if they'd all die. I think the director fretted over it a lot too, but in the end, shouldering their various burdens, they moved forward together and became a family. I feel like it's an incredibly heartwarming ending, don't you?

Interviewer: Now that Miri is a high school girl, what will happen if she gets a sweetheart...?

Toyonaga: I think it'll be really tough to win Kazuki and Rei over.

Kino: I agree. In Kazuki's fantasy scenes, he said something like, "I'll kill you!"

Uchiyama: Right, he had fantasies of the future too.

Kino: There were scenes of Miri as a gyaru. And some predictions of a future with Taiga-kun.

Toyonaga: I wonder how Taiga-kun's doing in the future. Are they still in touch?

Kino: If so, Taiga-kun might be in danger. (laugh)

Interviewer: Looking back at all twelve episodes, which scenes or incidents left the strongest impression on you?

Uchiyama: Miri sang a lot. At the beginning of that episode, and at the end too.

Kino: She did. I practised once I got the scripts, but for her mother’s song, I received a demo song beforehand. Since Miri's mother was a singer, Miri loves singing; that's part of the whole setup, which was rather nervewracking. As for the kids' TV programme, I listened to the music through headphones and sang along on the spot - I went like "aaa-aaa-aaa~ ♪"

Uchiyama: It's not like Miri is in a musical - the songs contain different fluctuating emotions, and the point isn't to just sing them as beautifully as possible. It has to be a more varied portrayal. Also, Kazuki is a great cook, so I remember them eating lots of delicious-looking food.

Toyonaga: But you guys only ever grumbled about it. (laughs)

Kino: There really were quite a few scenes of "Miri hates this!"

Uchiyama: Rei has the same palate as Miri - he can't handle anything too elaborate. As for Miri, the taste of premade meals reminds her of her mother.

Toyonaga: When Rei was helping to make bento, he stuffed gummies in the onigiri.

Uchiyama: But it went over well with the children. All that food content was fun.

Toyonaga: Besides that - basically, Miri-chan's always a cutie.

Uchiyama: The thing about Miri-chan is that she doesn't just have cute or charming faces. There are plenty of "meanie Miri" expressions.

Kino: There really are. She seriously has such a rich range of expressions; as we went into the second half of the show, I kept thinking, "Wow, we get to see faces like that too?" It made me feel like my vocal performance had no restrictions either - like, "I can just let myself loose."

Toyonaga: How are you so good at playing a four-year-old?

All: (laugh)

Uchiyama: You make an incredibly realistic four-year-old.

Kino: Really? Thank you!

Toyonaga: Amazing, isn't it? When did you get this good?

Kino: When, huh... There are little kids who are naturally quiet, and there are those, like Miri, who scream "Boring!" and kick up a fuss. But starting from the audition, I figured I'd express my emotions innocently, just as they were. I wailed "Aaahh!" so much, things probably got really loud. When I was overdoing it, I was directed to dial it down a bit, and I adjusted accordingly.

Toyonaga: Whenever Miri-chan was happy or excited, she let out this incredibly high-pitched "Aaaahh!" I loved that. Kids really do react just like that.

Kino: Thank you very much. (laughs)

Interviewer: Can you tell us your personal favourite episodes?

Kino: The sports day scenes in episode 9 almost made me cry when I watched them. Kazuki was actually bawling, but it was such an incredibly warm and fluffy episode. I love it.

Uchiyama: Sports day was very exciting.

Toyonaga: It's fluffy and feel-good, but it makes you want to cry.

Kino: Rei cheering for Miri and regretting it afterwards was also very cute.

Uchiyama: It's true that Rei yelling like that totally threw Miri off. As for me, I'll say episode 10. It feels like a turning point in the story, plus it made me want to go to an amusement park. (laughs) There's something very appealing about a place like a ferris wheel. Out of all the various attractions, a ferris wheel feels most like a private room - it's an enclosed space where sound is cut off. I think it's a very special kind of space. After having fun all day, deep conversations can naturally arise within that sort of atmosphere. It was the perfect match for those story developments. You can really feel the misery of the final arc setting in; it's very memorable.

Toyonaga: And I'll go with episodes 7 and 8, which are standout episodes for Kazuki and Rei respectively. In episode 7, Kazuki talks to (Izumi) Karin-chan, his late wife's younger sister, and I kept all that incredible dramatic weight in mind when playing that scene. Approaching that material was a real challenge to me as an actor, so in that sense, it left an impression on me. And as for episode 8, when Rei is interacting with the boss of the organisation, you can really see the chains he's been shouldering this whole time, and everything that's made Rei the way he is now. Getting to learn about these things was definitely memorable.  

Interviewer: Once again, what do you think is the appeal of "Buddy Daddies"?

Kino: Kazuki, Rei, and Miri all bear their own heavy burdens from their past. Miri is separated from her mother, Rei's father has only ever taught him to live as an assassin, and Kazuki is also shackled by a tragic history. If you look at it that way, it's a dark story, but when the three of them are together, there are so many comical scenes that make you laugh, or upbeat flashy scenes. It's an exquisitely maintained balance, and you really can't get enough of watching it. There are scenes that will warm your heart, and scenes that will make you cry. That wide variety means this show can reach all sorts of people, and I think that's what makes it so wonderful.

Toyonaga: I think that different people who watch this series find different things to connect with emotionally. It can be enjoyed and judged in totally contrasting ways, depending on the viewer's individual experiences, lifestyles, and circumstances. That makes it a very fascinating show. People who are relatively young might relate to Miri-chan, and may project Kazuki and Rei onto their own parents. And that could lead to a lot of diverse opinions and reactions being exchanged - to me, that's one of the most appealing things about this show.

Uchiyama: The atmosphere of the series turns on a dime from comedic to serious, changing between one scene and the next, so you can barrel right through each episode without it ever feeling stale. I find that very enjoyable. And it ends with a timeskip to the future - that came as a real surprise to us too. All in all, the colourful plot twists and unpredictability really set this show apart. There's the unique sense of awe you only get from an original story.

Interviewer: Finally, please give a message to all the fans who have enjoyed "Buddy Daddies".

Kino: Through recording this one-cour story with a total of twelve episodes, I feel like I've gotten a glimpse of the sheer depths of human experience. I'm truly happy I could work on a series like this. As Toyonaga-san also said, it's a show which people can enjoy from many different perspectives, but since I played Miri, there were so many scenes which reminded me of my parents. The delicious cornflakes I ate as a child, being cheered on at sports day - all sorts of memories came back to me. I really hope this show also reawakened some warm memories for everyone in the audience. Thank you so much for watching to the very end.

Uchiyama: "Buddy Daddies" is an original series, so in a sense, it has plenty of blank spaces left. Kazuki and Rei's pasts, the details of the organisation, Kyu-chan's (Kugi Kyutaro's) private life... there are still some things we don't know. Also, what happened in the missing years during the finale's sudden timeskip? What sort of conversations took place as Miri was growing up? How did they end up at the diner? I think it's a lot of fun to fill in those gaps with your imagination. The anime is over, but I hope you will continue to enjoy yourselves in those blank spaces. Thank you very much for watching every episode.

Toyonaga: To everyone who watched all twelve episodes, thank you from the bottom of my heart. "Buddy Daddies" presented me, the actor Toyonaga Toshiyuki, with so many opportunities to challenge myself, and it really has been a delight. I'm also a father of one - I'm raising a daughter around Miri's age. Through playing this role and mapping it on to my own circumstances, I've learnt a lot in this one cour - both as an actor, and as father to a child. The series ended in an incredibly beautiful way, so rather than a sequel, I feel like it would lend itself well to occasional standalone spinoff episodes. I also look forward to being able to meet Kazuki, Rei, and Miri-chan again, and in the meantime, I will do my best as a real papa. Thank you so much.

[a-bucket-full-of-feels]

Some thoughts regarding Reina in Hibike S3 Ep 9

I feel that this episode marks a huge turning point in Reina's character development and her and Kumiko's relationship.

In the beginning of the series, we see that a huge reason why Kumiko is attracted to Reina is how steadfast she is in her pursuit of her goal to be special, to the point where she comes off as brashly idealistic and self-centred. In season 1 however, this is portrayed as a character quality of hers, inspiring Kumiko's journey to improve herself and become passionate in music.

But this all comes crumbling down in S3 Ep 9 when her brash idealism and one track mind proves to be a source of conflict and makes her almost antagonistic.

She tells the section leaders/Kumiko that it's the members' fault for not trying hard enough when they didn't make the cut for the audition, and they have to do whatever it costs to win gold in Nationals. But in reality, the situation is a lot more nuanced than this, and even Kanade who got dropped from the auditions recognises it. She acknowledges that Taki selected more tubas because they're weaker as a whole, whereas the euphoniums have 2 extremely solid players to carry them, so it was not a case of "because she isn't good enough", but due to the composition of players and circumstance.

Another situation where her idealism comes into question is her undying devotion towards Taki sensei and his decisions, to the point where she disparages members who express discontent towards his decisions for the audition, and even to the point where she calls Kumiko a failure as the president for questioning Taki's decision. I was expecting her to feel conflicted when Mayu was selected for the euph solo instead of Kumiko, because she wanted to play the trumpet/euph soli with Kumiko so badly. But instead of expressing indignation and being upset about the results, she doubles down on her opinion that Taki sensei's decision was the correct one, even when talking to Kumiko about it. In comparison, Shuuichi, who doesn't even have a personal stake in the trumpet/euph soli, feels upset and indignation about the results for Kumiko.

My gut feeling about Reina's reaction (not knowing any spoilers about how this plays out) is that this is her coping mechanism as a highly individualistic and idealistic person, and someone with poor emotional awareness. In a time of emotional turmoil, while other members turn to each other to air their grievances about the audition results, she doubles down on her ideals. People didn't make the cut for the audition? They didn't try hard enough. Being upset at Taki sensei's decisions? Just blindly trust his opinion as the band advisor and that will resolve the conflict.

And I think this also stems from a place of privilege for Reina (I mean this girl has private trumpet lessons and a father who is a professional musician), which doesn't give her the opportunity to empathise with other members that aren't as good as her. A moment in this episode relating to the theme of empathy which I found interesting was the scene with Kumiko and friends outside the convenience store discussing the results of the euph solo. Midori, who has been a competition member since year 1, feels that Kumiko should have been chosen instead, since both Mayu and Kumiko's skills are on par, and choosing Kumiko would maintain the peace of the band. However, Hazuki, who failed auditions for the first two years, felt that Mayu deserved the solo because she proved to be the better player in the auditions and she trusts the results of the auditions. And I can understand where Hazuki is coming from, having the greatest respect towards the audition process, because she had to work incredibly hard to reach a level that allowed her to qualify to play in the competition, thus viewing the audition process with greater reverence than members that were far removed from the struggle of that process because they were more skilled and experienced.

In essence, I'm interested to see how Reina will grow as a character and how her relationship with Kumiko will develop from here. Will she soften her stance on her lofty ideals? Or will she still stick to her opinions but somehow still find a resolution with Kumiko? Will she still treat Taki sensei as an idol-like figure, or eventually view him as a regular human being that doesn't always make the best decisions?

[cool-fancier]

Morning Serenade

Synopsis: You can’t help as you gazed your wife, Akanen, sleep soundly, remembering your college days, creating a pleasant moment in the calm dawn.

Your relationship with Akanen dates back to college, when the bond of friendship grew into something more. You and Akanen were inseparable, sharing dreams, secrets, and laughter that rang through your college's hallways. Life appeared to be simple, and the future appeared bright.

However, as graduation approached, your lives separated in unexpected directions. Circumstances forced you to study in another country, while Akanen left on a journey in another. The separation meant the beginning of a new chapter, putting your relationship to the test.

Akanen bravely revealed her feelings before parting ways, revealing that she liked you. It was a confession that rang out across the years, a whisper of a sentiment that hinted at much greater. Yet, as you embarked on your college journey, you expressed the need to focus on your studies, temporarily diverting the course of your connection.

"I like you," Akanen said, her eyes soft and vulnerable.

"I want to give my studies my full attention," you said, the weight of your decision evident.

Akanen, realising the importance of distance, vowed to wait for you. As a result, you both accepted the challenges that lay ahead with a shared devotion to your separate interests.

As the years unfolded, the distance did little to dampen the warmth of your friendship. You communicated across time zones via emails, phone calls, and occasional visits. Akanen's unwavering support became a regular reminder of the significant bond that stretched across miles

Life took an unexpected turn after successfully negotiating the obstacles of college life. Akanen arrived at your flat door, propelled by a love that had stood the test of time. As Akanen fearlessly asked to court you, the surprise was welcomed with a mix of shock, joy, and a hint of nervousness.

The shift from friendship to courting signified the beginning of a new chapter in your lives. Akanen's presence brought many changes, some expected, others unexpected. The courting was a dance of shared moments, secret looks, and the eventual reveal of a love that had built gradually over time.

The courtship ended with a decision that would influence your futures: marriage. The dedication to one another resulted in a blending of lives, dreams, and aspirations. The journey, marked by shared laughter and a few tears, had brought you to the magnificent present, where you found yourself staring at Akanen in the early morning hours.

Akanen's eyes fluttered open as the sun rose, and a sweet grin touched her lips. She pulled you in closer, the warmth of her touch providing proof to the love that had connected you. "Why are you awake, my love?" she asked her drowsiness in her voice adding to her charm.

The talk flowed easily, full of humour and warmth. The love that had endured years of separation found expression in shared glances, whispered confessions, and the sheer delight of being together.

"I love you," you said, unable to suppress your feelings.

Akanen's laughter turned into a sweet laugh. "I love you, my darling." Please try to sleep more for me now. I know you had a hard, exhausting day at work yesterday because you came late, so you deserve some rest."

But the love that filled the room appeared to outweigh the need for rest. The moments became a celebration—a celebration of the years that had led up to this point, of overcoming hurdles, and of the undying love that had stood the test of time.

"I can't help it," you admitted, gently drawing designs on her arm. "Seeing you asleep like this makes me want to cherish every moment."

Akanen's eyes softened, and her fingers found solace in the strands of your hair. "You're such a morning person."

As you exchanged loving words, the space turned into a sanctuary—a haven where time seemed to stop and the past, present, and future blended into a magnificent tapestry of love. The serenity of the early morning was only equaled by the love that you and Akanen shared.

The topic went off into memories, dreams, and the complexities of daily life. Every word, every glance, and every shared silence became a witness to a love that had matured, deepened, and changed over the course of a lifetime.

The journey that began with a connection formed in the halls of college now found expression in the stillness of early dawn. The laughter, love, and warmth that filled the room promised many more sunrises and shared experiences in the days ahead.

You couldn't help but wonder at the remarkable journey that had brought you to this beautiful morning as you closed your eyes, ready to slip back into a deep slumber. The love you and Akanen had was more than simply a story about two people; it was a symphony that rang out across the years, a tune that promised to last a lifetime.

[lanciilatte]

Cabby’s Gaps in Understanding

These scenes.

Are the parallels of all time. I think it was absolutely intentional that their ‘niche intelligences’ were explained in this exact order on these separate, very important occasions. Cabby thinks Test Tube and Fan are defined by these intelligences, and acknowledges that it was reductive to discredit Test Tube later on.

They’re stronger together and made a rash decision out of how much they care for each other. This results in TBD being made, and TBD’s existence is the one thing that stumps Cabby. Cabby cannot understand using all the potential behind combined strength to make an emotional decision. She doesn’t realize Fan and Test Tube doing this is a possibility, nor does she understand Test Tube throwing away that potential due to emotions brought out by the situation.

There’s an emotional reaction on her part to this too. She wants to experience this bond and combined strength very badly. She wants to believe she can experience it, even though it probably would not come naturally. Of course it wouldn’t, as though she regards it as ‘something warmer’, she also mentions how it’s ‘more subjective’. Considering how much of her image and sense of self is lauded as objective and factual, this is a big deal.

She’s so fascinating in that way, that what she clearly wants more than anything is the one thing that trips her up. She can categorize people all she wants into whatever boxes she can think of. But she can’t understand anyone not chasing the thing she desperately wants. Especially if they threw the potential away for a reason like Test Tube’s: because of emotions stirred up by the immediate circumstances. That’s an uncomfortable prospect for her, that unpredictability you have to trust as a part of yourself, since it’s what you really feel. That might be one of the most uncomfortable things for her full stop. She can’t understand stifling the potential to achieve something she desperately wants for that reason. But then we run into another problem, she doesn’t know how to openly discuss achieving that connection. It’s something she can’t even talk about comfortably without relying on someone else’s expression of feelings to draw from. Even when outlining a strategy with objective information, which is the definition of her comfort zone.

Now it’s caused a problem in her research, in her game plan. It’s gotten her eliminated and it’s gotten her nowhere with the biggest mystery/challenge to her database we’ve seen her tackle. But research has nothing to do with her goals, other than to be insurance that things never get too far off course. Though it is very telling that one of the clearest signs of her sense of lack is how it interferes with her research. How it interferes with her database, because the easiest way for her to realize a sense of lack in herself is through an extension of herself, right? Her files are that extension of herself.

This idea of her knowledge being all that she sees or presents herself as is not concrete yet. But consider everything else and her elaboration being “I am a piece, Test Tube is a piece, and our combined strength is—was… a piece.” There’s all this strategy and ‘sake of the game’ talk, but she’s really trying to reflect on the feelings brought out in both herself, Test Tube, and everyone else. She has to ‘evenly divide’ the moving parts of the situation in order to justify how she feels about it. She has to evenly divide people to understand them, she approaches the social aspect of the game in the way she knows how. She frames it like it only makes sense to do so, but deep down she puts so much of herself into her writing because she wants to understand others. “To understand them” is the reason she gives for making files on people. She could’ve elaborated if she wanted to… But she preferred to leave the reason unstated and move on. Before we can delve into that idea, we need to detail Cabby’s own understanding of herself first.

She more-so sees people as what they do, and their actions rather than who they are. Whether she views herself that way and then applied it to others or the other way around I don’t know. But she definitely makes a habit out of keeping track of peoples’ habits. She doesn’t just do it to pass time, she’s fascinated by it. She’s fascinated for the wrong reasons though, as a true logician fuelled by information would not be so comfortable with predictability. She’s not only comfortable with it, but depends on it to understand the whole set of said knowledge. This is all very similar to Fan, however she is far less inclined to include others’ emotion in her fascination or perception. In Cabby’s database, Clover can be a ‘sweet girl’ but she cannot be a ‘source of sweetness’ or ‘someone who makes me feel me sweetness.’ There’s no spontaneous action involved, only a type of person.

All this is to say: I think Cabby can understand certain emotions driving your actions, but those actions all have to be rational and controlled. She doesn’t understand emotions being a large part of the decision or action itself. This is what consistently trips her up. She can account for the base emotional state of people, but not what they’ll do when emotions that suddenly arise in them or change unpredictably are involved. What someone will do ‘under pressure.’ Not following the same patterns over and over. She can understand the patterns she sees, she can’t understand that everyone is a unique example of the ‘type of person’ she sees them as. I’d say this is where Cabby and Fan’s insular perspectives line up and then diverge again. Cabby plays with accurate information she’s perceived and that’s the fun part. Fan has fun with perceiving information without that close consideration to accuracy, since trivia is more of a decoration to him. For Cabby, she is a decoration to the trivia. She needs to perceive things objectively and accurately for her own pride, and she needs to preserve this information in order to put it to use. Because of course her understanding needs to be useful, to be helpful, otherwise she’d be doing it for the sake of knowledge. What she extra doesn’t understand is that if she’s doing this for own reasons, for pride or for a clear end result being a comfort, she’s already been making rash decisions fuelled by emotion. She’s making ill-advised decisions and *mistakes* by disregarding her own fallibility. There’s no way she can always keep up this image when that image has an emotional strain and her goals don’t take into account how to mend emotional struggles. The thing is, her emotional struggles or even her mistakes aren’t something she looks away from. She just doesn’t know what she’s looking at, or what she brings to the table that she would rather get from other people’s input. She doesn’t know it, nor can she begin to express it yet, but she has her own warmth inside her objectivity, she doesn’t need to gain that ability from someone else. She could win people over if she showed up as the ‘girl who puts herself into her database to calm herself and help others’ and not the ‘girl who cares more about her files than anyone, including herself, so imagine how she feels about *you*.’

The number one decision she needed to be making, is the kind of decision she can’t fathom someone else making. Acting upon a spontaneous desire to help someone, no matter if you have the perfect plan or even a plan that makes sense. Or, in the competition sense, helping people through their problem instead of keeping track of their problem just running its course. Looking out for the team in an honest and upfront way, instead of waiting for that perfect ally to come along and spark a change. This is especially unrealistic since a ‘perfect ally’ for her would have to be one that’s earned her respect and given her new insight. Cabby makes that very difficult to accomplish, in fact, she makes it harder every single time she seeks out information on her own.

But she could do so much good if she just realized that. She’s already done a lot of good without directly intending it. Cabby’s research is what gets Clover to question how she lives her life. She kickstarts Clover’s entire arc. Cabby’s research is also what helps TBD start looking for answers, and one of the things that let her know Test Tube was hiding something regarding those answers.

She overall needs to become more comfortable with spontaneity related to both emotions and information. If she were comfortable with that, then her needing ‘constant input from other people to feel alive’ wouldn’t result in her looking at people reductively. If she stopped looking at people reductively, she could see them more as ongoing projects, not instalments in the history of her perception. Then, finally, she could see that she herself is one of those ongoing projects that can be fulfilled by warmth and efforts to change for good. Not just reliability when things go wrong, but taking initiative in making things right.

Since she still just ‘wants to win people over’, she’s still figuring out what all the moving pieces are. The ‘why’ and ‘what’ she did wrong. But she wouldn’t have gotten to this point so easily if she didn’t care about how others felt. She cares that her mistakes hurt people, that’s why she’s reevaluating her thought process immediately after being shown that was the case. She wants to make things right, but she has to step out of her comfort zone to do it, and understand that ‘right’ changes in an instant from situation to situation, person to person. But she’s been shown her impact, and she readily accepts it once she stops clarifying her intent. That’s a great start. It’s the same start that Test Tube made once. I’m confident it’s the start of something better, considering the way she found out she was wrong is that she’s upset people outside of ‘the sake of the game’, that says a lot! It definitely couldn’t have been because her pride was damaged, since she was kind of really frantic and openly kinda pathetic while grasping at more answers during her last moments on the show. If only she knew the gap in her understanding that’s damaged her pride beyond caring for it is directly linked to the one damaging her growth. I would love to see these ideas linked again if Cabby and TBD are truly acquainted one day! Acquainted, or able to meet as friends who learn from each other, not as a mystery or problem to solve. That would be the perfect resolution to Test Tube realizing she made Cabby’s mistake before she could learn who TBD really was.

[clownsalot]

yea ok i know im not the only one voicing concerns over amane getting forgiven this trial but. i am actually so worried for what'll happen if she is so im going to talk about it anyway

longish post?? i think?? so uh. read more

- on the one hand, the one everyone talks about: shidou's physical safety. this one's obvious

you can argue that amane is 12 and shidou is a grown ass man more than twice her age but also;;;; a lot of theories ive seen of amane also include her victim being an adult. 12 years old or not, there's a lot you can do with a weapon when you catch someone off guard, and shidou isn't exactly fit to fight someone off, even a 12 year old on adrenaline. also given how he's working himself to the bone keeping mahiru alive and taking care of fuuta he's probably not going to be all that alert to his surroundings either. though with kazui once again innocent leaning, hopefully this concern can be set aside for a while.

- on the other hand, what worries me more (ie making me shit my fucking pants in fear) is that there's another real threat amane poses that can't be solved by kazui being forgiven: amane is trying to convert fuuta.

(from fuuta's 2023 birthday timeline on the wiki)

shidou's safety can be accounted for, but whay about fuuta? fuuta, whose mental health is going to shit and at an all time low; fuuta, desperate for anything that'll give him a sense of safety and security? right now fuuta is a textbook example of someone vulnerable to cult indoctrination, which amane will happily provide. there was also @vampuppyy 's post (that i agree with and also makes other good points) that mentioned this could be compounded if amane is forgiven as well. hell, fuuta's second trial voice drama is even named BAPTISM OF FIRE.

if amane is forgiven this trial, someone is definitely getting hurt.

- the threat amane poses aside however, i do have my own reasons for voting her guilty this round beyond her potential to hurt someone. and it's that i don't think forgiving her is actually going to do her much good??

(amane's second trial voiceline, also from the wiki)

she says she'll forgive us for trial 1 and to think about our verdict again carefully with the implication that she expects to be forgiven this round. i think forgiving her this round will do nothing but just tell her 'we were wrong to not forgive you the first time, your cult beliefs are right actually. thank you for your generosity, please take this as an apology for our mistake' which does nothing but reinforce her belief that she's righteous in her cult mentality, especially if we're right about her murder being partially motivated by her believing her victim also broke one of the cult's tenets. she's going to turn out like muu singing about how 'it's not my fault' won't she?

i get why people are forgiving her this round and im not saying it's wrong (honestly good for amane for killing her abuser!! you go girl slay), but imo it's not the best decision to make right now given the circumstances. of course milgram's strict innocent/guilty system doesn't allow for any kind of nuance, and i do realize a guilty won't be good for her either, but i think doubling down on the guilty and not forgiving her this round might be the better decision in the long run. if we still want to forgive her, we always have trial 3 to do it anyway

(honestly i think if we wanted to forgive her it should've been in trial 1—but there's nothing we can do about that anymore, all we can do now is play damage reduction trying to fix what went wrong after the trial 1 results)

so uh. yeah that's all the reasons im guilty voting amane this trial 👍 i hope this was coherent

[dreaming-hibi]

I'm the kind of person who goes straight to the source to try and straighten things out, just so I can have some peace of mind.

Warning: this is about KHR.

I couldn't remember exactly what was the deal with Luce - Aria - Uni. I was pretty sure Luce was dead, we were never given any indication as to the contrary, but Aria... Aria was different.

To begin where beginnings begin, when I was watching the KHR anime and then reading the manga, I always found it mighty suspicious that the anime got so many details about the Arcobaleno right. I knew for a fact that the anime-only Arcobaleno Trials Arc aired before the Curse of the Rainbow Arc, so how could the anime have details that were yet to be revealed in the manga? That's when I discovered that this anime-only arc was personally supervised by Amano-sensei herself. Long story short: this arc confirms that Aria was still alive in the present.

But then, why is Aria gone during the Curse of the Rainbow Arc? And why does Uni look exactly as she did in the future?

Let's remember once again the ability of the Arcobaleno pacifiers: the Pacifiers exists in moments. The pacifiers exist as points in time and space, thus allowing them to move between times and spaces. Now let's also remember that Luce, Aria and Uni have this particular ability to see the future.

----This is about to get complicated so buckle up!---- Aria saw the future gifted by the Arcobaleno, but she also saw another future: the future in which the curse would be broken (I'll be back with another theory in which the characters are now living in a different timeline than the one with the future we know). Aria thus chose to give that opportunity to her daughter but, Uni would have been a child in the present and not able to participate in the coming battle. But here is the thing, what if Uni no longer existed in the present? What are you talking about, Kei?? Uni disappearing in the future has no impact on the present! But, what if it did? Uni is the Sky Arcobaleno, she gave her life to revive the other Arcobaleno. What if her decision to give her life for the other 5 also meant she would cease to exist through all timelines? Because, again, the Arcobaleno exist as a point in time and space, a moment that comes and goes as the circumstances see fit.

And here is when I come in with my source: Chapter 354! γ 「あんたの娘ユニと共に散った未来の記憶を受け取ったあの日・・・あんたはおしゃぶりを残して消えた…」

Gamma: "On the day I received the memories of the future in which I died together with your daughter, Uni... You left, leaving behind this pacifier."

γ 「その後　この時代に誕生しているはずのユニも探したが・・・未だ消息はつかめない…」

Gamma: "After that, although we searched for Yuni, who should have already been born in this period... To this moment, we haven't found a single trace of her."

Gamma claims that Aria disappeared right on the day they gained their memories from the future, leaving only the pacifier behind. Their subsequent search of Uni yielded no results, even though they were sure she was already born and why is that? Because Uni no longer existed in the present time! Then how does Uni come back, Kei? Aria, and by a miracle we are all very familiar with. Being the Sky Arcobaleno of the time, Aria gave her own life to revive Uni. But why wasn't she revived as a baby? Because Aria revived the Uni she had seen in her vision, someone who would be capable of entering the Representative Battle and break the curse. Uni is the same age as she was in the future because that's who Aria revived in the present time.

That's my rant, have a good day everyone

[stilljuststardust]

I’m a 15 years old girl and my parents are very homophobic

Today my mom made me sat down because she thinks that I wanna turn into a boy and she told me for my old sis to also come downstairs to talk about it cause they found it weird mind you they’re very religious

After my big sis came downstairs my mom started talking about how I act like a boy when I’m a girl also that God made me a girl so why would I try to change into a girl and also said that if I keep acting like this she would take all my electronics

And send me somewhere else where I won’t see her and my siblings ever again

I’m crying so much because I did everything to change myself to become normal like others straight but nothing works and I found out that I want to be a boy I tried everything like manifesting being a man nothing it working and circumstances keeps getting worse and worse till the point it making me depressed like maybe I’m stuck this way maybe I will never be a man

I’m so scared cause she said if I don’t change I will not have access to phone I’m having a bad breakdown rn idk what to do anymore I’m so lost

But part of me still believes I’m a man no matter what

Hello, before I give you LOA advice let's talk

You ARE a man. You are a man. You are a man.

You are a man no matter what.

You don't have to do anything to be a man. It's who you are deep down in the pit of your soul. You already are a man.

Not just in an LOA sense, I'm saying this from a non-manifesting perspective: you are not a girl.

You will never be a girl, you never were. Do you understand that? Who you are as a person is a man.

I'm like you.

It's ok to be a trans. Being trans is normal. Half my friends are trans, I'm trans. You aren't alone, you aren't the only one. There is nothing wrong with you.

Firstly I would like to say, always always always prioritize your safety and well-being.

I know it's easier said than done but the closet exists for a reason. It keeps us safe. Do not come out if it would put you in danger. You do not have to be out to be valid.

I hate that my advice is to fawn and pretend to be something you're not, but its safest sometimes.

It feels so far away now, but there will be a time when you are free to be who you are. You will find people who support you. You will find people who are like you. When I was in your place 18 felt so far away and unreachable, but it's not. Freedom will come. Please hold on.

Link to The Trevor project. (Councilors and hotline for queer people who are struggling mentally)

Loa

At the end there will be a handful of LOA posts I think you should read/you might be interested in + subliminals for you. The most important one in my opinion being the one I list first.

The law gets over complicated alot. At the end of the day it boils down to this.

An assumption, though false, if persisted in will harden into fact.

An assumption being something you accept as the truth without needing evidence and persistence meaning you assume regardless of what the 3D shows you.

Essentially, you decide you have your desire and you are stubborn in that decision.

It's ok to feel intense emotions, it's ok to be scared and hurt and frustrated, you just have to assume that no matter what the physical world shows you you are undeniably biologically male.

There is no more advice to give, there is only the law. Assume, affirm, persist.

The posts

How I manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances (blushydior)

If it's too long a read (seriously I think you should read the whole thing either way) here's the parts I thought would benefit you the most

What you need to know about loa

How to ignore the 3D

Nothing is true until you decide it is

It's ok to feel like shit

Loa checklist

Subliminals and affirmation tapes

Revise past negative events

Desired body

Mind over matter

It's done

Your desire is a fact

I keep getting results

If you need motivation

@loasuccessarchive

[aotopmha]

In my FF14 journey, I'm now at the first lvl 86 quest.

I stopped just before going back to the Crystal Tower.

The latter half of Thavnair is fantastic in terms of building tension.

In one of my previous posts I talked about how much I liked that the story still manages to have moments of danger despite the characters surviving the most ridiculous circumstances.

At this point, I do not believe in most danger the Scions are in, but because, just like the corrupting force of light, Akasha is a new system with new rules, it makes you doubt, even if it is just for a moment.

And it certainly made me doubt with Matsya and the baby because they're just commonfolk.

Qerasaf and Mehvan are just normal civilians, so I fully believe they could die as easily as they did.

Once again the story also uses the distinction between the massive strength of the Warrior of Light and the normal people of the world to great effect in that sense.

But even then, you can still not be in all places at once.

During the chain transformation cutscene, you could see the Warrior of Light being indecisive between targets and which people to save and later on with Mehvan, they were late to save her.

I really like that detail because stuff like this goes a long way in spelling out your position in the world. It's general enough characterisation where players can put their own spin on it, yet still enough to make the Warrior of Light have somewhat of an identity themselves.

And I think that's the best way to go with mute player characters.

I don't know much about Dungeons and Dragons, but to me it feels like a game master having their own idea of where to go with the story/characters, but leaving a good amount of room to do your own thing within their framework.

And I like that take a bunch.

Now, to loop back to what I was saying about tension, I fully believed Matsya and the baby were done for, so I was okay with either fate, but this is also where Endwalker's theming comes in.

Even if only really minor characters died, there was so much death in this part of the story.

Khalzahl, Nahbdeen, Qerasaf and Mehvan.

To cut to the point, this is a story about mental illness.

And what kind of message would that send if there was only despair?

What kind of message would this send to those suffering in similar ways?

You have to be really careful with messaging here. And I think both Matsya and the baby surviving was almost mandatory in that sense.

This is why certain criticisms of plot points later on in the story also ring wrong to me.

Because eventhough Thavnair's faith says there is more suffering in life than there is good on the surface (which I think some read the scene at the temple as), the true meaning behind their beliefs is to appreciate the good that does exist.

To see your life for what it is, good and bad.

And so the story lets Matsya and the baby survive.

Finally, I really like how Estinien's character arc and Heavensward is used in this section for Vrtra's character development and how Vrtra ends up a positive parallel to Sharlayan's policy of passivity in face of all-consuming doom.

Vrtra steps up when he is proven wrong about his presence being a source of chaos and more conflict. He considers the result of the Dragonsong War and Estinien's journey. And he considers Hraesvelgr's decision to help in the confrontation with Nidhogg.

And ultimately he steps up and decides to take responsibility as a leader of his people.

I've seen people complain about there not being enough love for Y'sayle compared to other beloved characters that died and that as a proof of sexism, but I feel it is just about the same, and the references to her with Licinia and her sister and now with Thavnair are super relevant and effective.

On my part, I think digging deeper made everything in this part so much better. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, but here it definitely did for me.

The HW connections might be my favourite because it's another exanple of making previous story have more relevance, weight and substance, but I adore the message of appreciating the good, however little, within the bad a bunch, too.

You might notice I actually didn't talk much about Bestways Burrow and the section of the Loporrits and that is precisely because the entire section wasn't as substantial to me. I had some good chuckles in there and I like the Urianger focus, but even if it has the same thematic point of overcoming passivity in the face of great danger, it was a bunch less nuanced and without much else going on aside from thay point.

Much of it was magic babble, which needed to happen to make everything come together and downtime to let big reveals set in.

And we've definitely come so far from you just having to do 8 generic fetch quests to go on to another zone with more of the same by at least getting specific characterisation and learning how this huge point of focus (the moon) functions within lore, but the technical stuff isn't as interesting by nature to me.

All of this said, Endwalker still continues to be fantastic. I just went on about how Bestways Burrow wasn't as good as everything else, but it is still contributing towards solving long-standing plot threads and it is put where it is with purpose.

Finishing Thavnair also unlocked the role quests, which I think I actually only have seen in bits and pieces, so those will be fun to do for myself.

And I'm looking forward to what comes next in general, of course.

[rippleclan]

Autumnstar

Yay, it's the bastard! I love this guy.

Autumnstar: 110 moons (as of Moon 6), male, leader, fierce, great hunter

Autumnstar is a ginger and white tabby with a frost-bitten face and mangled tail. Before leadership, his name was Autumnscar, as the frost-bite was a result of a misadventure in early apprenticeship. He trained as a historian, fascinated by his Clan's history of recovery from tragedy. His predecessor, Pelicanstar, named Autumnscar his deputy because of the deep respect he held for AshClan.

Autumnstar's ideology is strongly traditional. He focuses on the individual strength of the Clan over all, as AshClan's history shows that an overreliance on diplomatic relations could prove horrific in the right circumstances. He pushes for his Clan to produce as many of their own resources as possible, trading only when there were no other options. He holds a great respect for WheatClan and LynxClan, but sees SlugClan as too dependent on others. And RippleClan, well...

For Autumnstar, the new ideology spreading through the Clans was a destabilizing force. A focus on diplomacy over combat would leave them open to outside forces that could not be reasoned with. Treating the Code of Clerics as a suggestion would weaken their connection to StarClan. Too many outsiders joining a Clan would slowly transform it into something that could no longer be considered a Clan. Autumnstar, therefore, led a charge through the Clans to tackle this issue and root it out. He encouraged WheatClan and LynxClan to exile anyone who strayed too far into this rippling ideology. Sometimes these clashes of belief led to death. It all culminated with the Ashes in the Water declaring their own Clan. Autumnstar couldn't let this happen. He couldn't allow part of his Clan to splinter off, further draining the resources of the territory and welcoming in those who could destroy them. So Autumnstar ordered the rest of AshClan to attack without mercy.

This decision caused AshClan to lose some of their territory to the newly founded RippleClan. So far, when Downstar has led her small Clan to Gatherings, Autumnstar refrains from talking to her. It's hard to know what he thinks, but his patrols monitor RippleClan's actions and demand the right to escort the Clan to visit SlugClan and LynxClan.

Something needs to give.

[lelanida]

Welcome to the "Pantheon of the Kingdom" of au, where we dive into limbo to find even more supernatural beings of the Sky world. Skipping the Daylight prairie, from the islands flying in the air, we again descend to earth into the realm of trees and vines - Hidden forest.

Before the appearance of their elder, people of the forest lived like animals, not trying to change the world around them but adapting to its conditions. Other kingdoms looked down on this wild corner of the Sky world and the people living in it. But they did not know that the people of the forest had a leader who taught them to live in harmony with nature - the goddess Dryad.

Dryad, being the embodiment of the entire ecosystem of the forest as such, never needed to prove anything to anyone because the stone world outside the forest did not exist for her. She never encouraged people to contact neighboring kingdoms. This could have continued for years if not for circumstances beyond the influence of the tree goddess.

No one knew from where Teth came from. The people of the forest were not used to looking at the stars. Their sky was covered with foliage. But they accepted her into their community anyway. Teth lived under the protection of the forest people and watched their lives, their troubles, and their hardships. People denied themselves many comforts for the sake of unity with nature, and Teth did not like it. She wanted to give people a better life, like in those distant lands she saw from the sky, before her fall. She considered that it was the Dryad that interfered with people. So it's time for Dryad to leave.

And when Teth led people behind her, Dryad felt something she had never felt before - envy. Dryad envied Teth because she could talk to people directly, without the help of priests, and she could walk with them on the same earth and not be banned in limbo. Teth took people's love and turned them to the world of stone. Teth must leave.

Teth and Dryad could become a great duo and together lead the forest to prosperity. Unfortunately, they were both too stubborn to abandon their principles. And a grandiose war of nature and industrialization unfolded, the result of which we see now. Felled trees and destroyed bridges all lie in the water. The forest lost its former liveliness when the last seedling of the Dryad was cut down by Teth and Aleph. Now, Teth regrets her decision. After all, when the darkness poisoned the nature of the forest, there was no one to protect it.

Next time, while admiring a sapling, try to say "hi", and who knows, maybe if we believe hard enough, Dryad will come back, and the Hidden Forest will bloom again.