#tay spirals and everyone worries

[oweninadaydream]

𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 || 𝐂𝐇.𝟏

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : Hangman is the certified ladies' man and everyone thinks they can read him like a book, but what neither the Dagger Squad nor anyone else can even begin to imagine is where the hell Jake has been going every Saturday night for the last few months…

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x male!character

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 : mentions of alcohol, some making out but nothing too smutty, emotional distress lmao, age gap relationship (27-35), some religious trauma, self-deprecating thoughts, post Top Gun : Maverick, the Dagger squad is stationed together.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2k

𝐚/𝐧 : Gif by @tay-swifts , M/N (Male Name). Hello beautiful people!!! I'm so exited about posting this project I've been working on for a while. I just wanted to say that since it's my first time writing for Jake this might be a bit OC Jake but I do hope I got it right hehe. Enjoy the fic and stay tuned for the next parts!!!

It was well after midnight when Jake arrived at the club’s entrance. The throbbing bass emanating from inside made the whole building shake, making his mind wonder what it would be like to live on top of such an obnoxiously loud place, contrasting with the quietness of the accommodations the Navy offered. The reflection of the neon sign reading  “Mon Ange” turned his natural olive-toned skin into a vivid dark azure that matched perfectly with the baby blue in his eyes. The smokers (all with stamps on their hands) were all gathered some feet away from the door to get back in after dragging a final puff from their cigarettes. The queue was not very long, mainly because everyone who was meant to be there had arrived way earlier than him. He reprimanded himself for getting there so late ; in less than two hours the nightclub would shut its doors and Jake would feel like he wasted four hours of his life for nothing. Well, his journey would not be in vain if he caught a glimpse of- 

“Jake”

This was L.A, a city 118 miles away from the Marine Corps Air Station located in Miramar, which is a two-hour long drive away from everything he knows. He had to remind himself of those facts to avoid spiraling  at the sound of his name in such a place; he hated how his body kept reacting to these kinds of situations, but not even a skilled lieutenant like himself could take the reins of these unnamed emotions that coursed through his entire being.

"What are you doing here by the door? I was worrying about you not showing up today, I was just about to send a search party. C'mon , let's grab a drink. Perhaps I can even convince you to dance this time" A wide playful smirk accompanied the flirty comment exquisitely and, even though Jake was more than used to these antics, his heart skipped a beat. Trying to compose himself, he answered while staring at the concrete floor. 

"I don't belong on that dance floor and y'know it, darlin' "

“Oh don’t say that, the 30s are the new 20s! … Even if you’re not planning to dance, you must’ve driven all the way over here for something, right?”

The damn question hit him like a truck. He could try to think of the right answer, but putting something into words made it terrifyingly real, and that was exactly what he'd been avoiding for months. The breeze made them both shiver, as the party outfits didn’t properly protect them from the chilly weather. 

“You're right” he muttered “Okay, lead the way. Make it worth the while, mh?" he teasingly replied. Even if what he was doing was definitely outside of his comfort zone, something about the constant banter between them calmed him.

"Don't you always have an amazing time with me? I thought that was why you only talk to me" a fake pout appeared on the face which Seresin couldn't help but to stare intensely in awe. Their hands intertwined and the pilot quickly melted into that comforting touch. His companion briefly exchanged some words with the bouncer and the doors opened for them. 

"Thankfully it was Joseph working tonight, I don't think Marcus would have let you in for free just like that" “I’m sure you would've charmed him into doing whatever you wanted anyway”

The thick air of the room embraced him as soon as the doors closed and the familiar feeling appeared in the pit of his stomach almost instantly; it seems like it was yesterday when he first stepped into the nightclub he now knows like the back of his hand, but in reality, that day was what it feels like ages ago. Still, the contradictions that manifested within him every time he returned persisted and only grew each day.

“I’ll go to the bar while you stay here and look pretty, okay? Same drink as always?”

It was because of moments like these that Hangman felt comfortable enough to let his guard down and be his usual extroverted self. Grabbing his wrist to stop him from going any further, he raised his voice so his words could be heard even though the music was top volume. “ Don’t you even dare to try to pay for those drinks, they’re on me.”

“Here it is, the Texan charm of Jake Seresin. I didn’t know you could apply those rules to this situation. Are you trying to imply I’m the girl in this whole affair? Shouldn't we at least draw lots for it?”

"Very funny, M/N'' the hostility that emanated from his rolling eyes made the other man realize his comment had affected Jake on a deeper level than intended. “Hey I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t hav- I know it’s  a touchy subject and I’m extremely sorry, please forgive me” the regret was visible in his expression and it also could be detected in the stuttering caused by the words rushing their way out of his mouth trying to obtain his forgiveness as fast as possible. Jake took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. 

Hangman was no saint, he didn’t go to church every Sunday or tried to look for a good christian wife to have kids with like his father did in his day. He knew God was not exactly pleased with the way he was running his life but he used to think that when the time came, He would welcome him with open arms (after having apologized profusely, that is). But now that he had fallen for the most vile trick in the book, he couldn't trust that previous statement anymore. Lust was a capital sin, pretty serious if you asked any priest from the church the Seresin family attended back in Texas, but sodomy? Say goodbye to eternal salvation, son. If Jake was being honest, the promise of heaven or the threat of hell didn't scare him. It was the destruction of all the life lessons that made him act the way he acted,  of his purpose as a son, as a man. The thing that truly haunted him at night  was the thought of a deity (and his father)  designing him to be this flawless individual with a very clear life path , only to end up as a filthy, disgusting f-

“Hey, are you okay? Would you like me to leave you alone for a bit?”

The thought of M/N walking away while he sank deeper and deeper in the sea of guilt and fury frightened him. “Please don’t” he begged “everything’s fine, I promise. Let’s down a couple shots and , who knows, maybe I’ll be in the mood to dance for a bit” the last comment was a futile attempt to hide the everlasting agony that clouded his mind. M/N moved so they were a few inches away and raised his hand to caress his cheek. His next step consisted in resting his arms around his shoulders and starting kissing him delicately in the neck and in the whole face in general, in hopes to kiss the discomfort away. 

How could something so delicate and sweet be so dirty? Was it even dirty to begin with? What about the women he had dated? He was attracted to them but now he- Too many questions Jake was not willing to answer that night. He only wanted one thing, and he was about to claim it. 

After regaining control of himself, Jake put his right hand on the younger male’s back to guide him to the counter where people were piling up fighting to get the barman’s attention. Being as attractive and well-built as he was, he obtained the alcoholic beverages rather quickly. After the last drop of tequila had made its way down their throats, Hangman took control and led him onto the dance floor. His mind was only filled of the smell of M/N’s cologne mixed with his natural scent enhanced by their bodies crashing against each other while swaying to the 2000s pop remixes, his eyes fixed on his partner’s hypnotizing movements and his hands focused on feeling what they can reach, testing if they can go further in their journey through M/N’s body. Jake was simply standing close and moving according to the song's beat but in a subtle way, just like he would do at the locals he frequented with his coworkers ; manly enough to keep his dignity intact but provocative enough to awake that lustful hunger in the other person’s soul.

‘Mon Ange’ had finally closed down and the two men were still all over each other on the angelino streets. The tingle settling in his chest could only be compared with the adrenaline rush he had previously experienced on those wild nights spent in college, the farewell by the porch of the first girl he had taken on a date or the night out after his first deployment; if he closed his eyes he could swear he was 20 again, but reality made sure to remind him of those fifteen more years that had passed. 

M/N had this juvenile thing about him, Jake couldn’t guess confidently his age from afar and his curiosity was finally satiated after befriending him and asking him about it directly ; he was 27, even though he looked some years younger. His bold character combined with his kindness and humor made M/N resemble a butterfly flying around collecting the pollen from every flower in the garden and making it seem effortless. That was one of the many things that hooked Jake on him as if he were the most addicting drug out there, making him throw away his plan of not getting attached and limiting this experience with sporadic hookups that would end then and there, never with the same person twice. That was the problem, he appeared and started moving his hips to some song, making the whole room turn around him and ever since then (even if Jake was still in denial), he was a goner.

The next thing he knew, he was laying down on M/N’s bed, a king size mattress close to a very big window that allowed him to take in the beautiful sight of the sleeping city. He had only been to the apartment twice, but he had always  left before the sun had made its appearance in the sky, moved by remorse and skepticism. This time though, he had stayed the whole night that was filled with passionate sex and heart to heart conversations and finally some cuddling that lured him to rest for a while. Now he was wide awake, sitting against the headboard, resting his eyes on the sunrise and on the slumbering figure facing him. He looked so calm, so peaceful. In that moment, turning his gaze away, he tried to repress a sob that came with a single tear falling through his left cheek. 

M/N had always known he was queer, embracing his bisexuality in childhood. Jake had never had any problems with people who were not straight, even if the people around him growing up did, but everything was different when it came to himself. For fuck’s sake, he was closer to being 40 than from his teenage years, what was he doing? He could only paralyze at the idea of anyone seeing what he was doing. It was definitely too late for him. Risking his life everyday up in the sky felt like a minor burden compared to the endurance of the dilemmas he carried with him everywhere, just like Christ had carried the cross all the way to Calvary.

He could feel himself falling for the person right next to him, and that was the worst thing that had ever happened to Lieutenant Jacob Seresin. His calloused hand cupped M/N’s soft face, making the other man lean in closer in search of that delightful warmth. Jake’s lips burned in desperate need to say something out loud. His heart started palpitating at a dangerous speed, as he knew the thing trying to escape from his mind was a cruel thing to say and that he was a horrible being just by thinking that. It was no one’s fault and it had no solution, yet the idea popped up in his mind like an unwanted ad appearing on your phone. His chest ached at the possibility of M/N hearing the words, so he tried to whisper as quietly as it was humanly possible. 

“I wish you were a girl”

[coalswriting]

to keep her warm - jackie taylor

in which y/n saves jackie from death. (approx 2.3k words)

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

you and jackie have been dating for years. you met her before joining yellowjackets because she sat in front of you in english. you couldn’t help but admire her beauty, watching how she could make slacking off look graceful.

you decided, one day, on a whim to try out for the soccer team. you were sick of hearing your parents’ petty arguments every time you came home, and the other clubs just didn’t seem interesting enough for you to join. that day was the first time you properly talked to jackie.

she was so inviting and sweet, even offering to give you pointers to improve your skill. eventually, you were informed that you were given a spot on the team by coach martinez (who definitely was influenced; you really weren’t that good at soccer). you remember jackie’s vivacious smile as she ran up to you, embraced you and welcomed you to the team. now that you think about it, she was waaaay too excited about you being there.

you often stayed behind with her after practice to talk ‘strategy’. in reality, you both would talk about everything and anything possible while rolling and swinging around on coach’s spinny-chairs. she was so funny, and god, so sweet. it didn’t take long for you to start dating, as the moment she hinted interest towards you, you began to reciprocate at an intense rate.

jackie eventually told shauna about the relationship. she was instantly supportive, and you became a trio. you hung out often after school, and shauna let you both have time to yourselves too.

oftentimes, you and jackie had slumber parties over at her house. she would paint your nails, and you would try different makeup looks on her. the night would always end with the two of you cuddling for hours, looking into each other’s eyes lovingly.

the day your team won the match to determine your spot in nationals, you picked jackie up, twirling her around. the two of you kissed in front of the girls, eliciting whistles and cheers.

“called it!”, tai had laughed to van, fist bumping her, natalie begrudgingly handing her twenty dollars.  

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

when the plane crashed, the first thing you did is check on jackie. you felt extremely worried about her, noticing how she instantly began to close in. you watched her claw at any form of leadership with an indescribable desperation.  

“guys, we need to get moving. we’re going to run out of water,” tai suggested to the team one night.

“no, tai! the rescue team will come any day now,” jackie replied, more like she was reassuring herself. you watched as the cogs turned in the girls’ heads before a huge argument broke out.

“what team?! we’ve been here for days! nobody’s coming jackie, get it in your head”, someone yelled.

you tried hard to keep the peace, physically putting yourself between the girls and jackie, “c’mon guys. calm down…”

jackie instantly softened at the sight of you, smiling gently before quickly returning back to being straight faced. you mouthed a ‘we’ll talk later’ at her before continuing, “but taissa is right. we need water, and i don’t think we’ll survive for long at this rate…” you tapped your cheek, thinking of a result that would please everyone before your eyes brightened, “we can leave a message!”

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

a few months had passed, and you were still worried about jackie. you loved her so, so much, and though she returned your affections happily, you felt as though the light within her had died out. she wasn’t the same girl you would spend hours after practice with; the girl whose eyes you’d lovingly admire in the late hours of the morning.

jackie barely helped around and ate. it’s like she was depressed, spiralling, as she was barely able to get out of bed most days or even take care of herself. the other girls were beginning to get irritated at jackie’s lack of helping out, and despite you and shauna’s efforts, this distaste was beginning to manifest further. you knew that the girls would snap any day – the stress pushed down on you like a heavy weight.

“c’mon, jackie…” you murmured, brushing her overgrown bangs away before wiping her forehead with a lukewarm damp rag, “you should try to help out around the cabin.”

she blinked at you, almost absent from the conversation. you placed a warm hand on her cheek, feeling a spark in your chest as she leaned into your touch. “i know but… i can’t,” is all she said, and you understood – that she probably had lost her hope. you wrapped your arms around her, giving her a tight squeeze. it took her a brief moment to reciprocate before she melted into you, sniffling a little.

“i know, jackie. i know. i love you and i’m here for you,” is all you whispered. that was the first time you told her that you loved her, and for a few days, the spark of hope returned in her eyes.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

you sat up, quickly, spluttering. you looked to your left, then your right, trying to understand your surroundings. your mind felt hazy, and you seemed to be alone. you could taste a strange taste in your mouth. maybe the dinner you had was off. you shivered, suddenly, rubbing your arms to warm yourself up. looking up, you noticed a lonesome full moon staring back at you.  

“shit…”, you mumbled, “what time is it?”

suddenly, snowflakes began to fall around you. it was the first snowfall since your team had stranded in the vast, lifeless wilderness.

hopping up, you decided you needed to find your way back to the cabin, and fast, otherwise you would die from the cold.

it was silent when you returned to the cabin – way too silent. you were walking for around half an hour until you had found something that looked even slightly familiar, thus returning home. you noticed a snow-covered figure slouched over by the firepit and stumbled over, still in a slightly drugged haze. “hey,” you called, growing more and more concerned at their lack of an answer. bending down to their level, you shook them to try inducing a response. panic began to grow in your chest as some snow fell off their head.

then, your worst nightmare came true.

jackie.

you visibly jumped from the terror that consumed you, feeling yourself suddenly get smaller in the world.

no.

she was motionless and so, so cold to the touch. “jackie?! jackie!” you yelled, shaking her violently, but still, she didn’t move. you pulled her up over your shoulder, suddenly full of energy. running towards the cabin, you stopped in your tracks. oh no. it didn’t take you long to process that the door was halfway snowed in, and you didn’t have enough time to do anything about it.

your stomach filled with a dread you had never felt before. it felt like life was collapsing around you; like you were a single person surrounded by nothing. everything around you fell still, as if time had frozen. you had to do something, and fast. you turned on your heel, running to the shed without thinking.

tearing the door open with such vigour that you’re surprised it didn’t break off the hinges, you sat your girlfriend up against a dry wall. you stripped your jacket off your already under-dressed body, draping it over jackie’s shoulders. despite how cold it was, you focused on keeping her warm, whispering sweet nothings to her as you desperately held her tightly. tears welled up in your eyes as reality began to sit on your shoulders like a heavy gravitational force, taunting you within this hopeless world. your girlfriend was extremely pale. you breathed what hot breath you could onto your hands and rubbed her arms to generate some sort of warmth.

your hands and arms ached from how hard you were massaging the blonde. it must’ve been a few hours, at that point, and you felt your heart warm, noticing a bit of rosiness in her cheeks. she was still breathing; her breaths were shallow but steady.

“jackie, i… hang in there for me, please,” you begged to nobody in particular. your girlfriend couldn’t hear you, but maybe the omnipotent force that resided within the wilderness could. it wasn’t your girlfriend’s turn to go, and you knew that you would do whatever it takes to make sure that she would wake up by your side again and again.

you zoned out for what felt like a minute, coming back to your senses when you felt the sunlight peek through the cracks in the thin walls. squinting, you opened the door, and as if clouds had parted, it felt like the world was just a little bit warmer. something snapped in your head, and coming back to your senses, you ran towards the cabin in nothing but your short, sleeveless dress. adrenaline coursed through your veins as you smashed your knuckles against the feeble door, knocking violently. you began to claw at the snow that blocked your entry in, grabbing fistfuls in your bony hands and tossing them haphazardly behind you. tai opened the door with a yawn, slightly startled in her dreariness.

“(y/n), we thought you were home?”, she squinted her eyebrows, not processing your panic. suddenly, her body fell tense, her eyes widening in realisation, “wait, jackie!”

you sprinted past her, shoving her with enough energy to knock her into the doorframe, leaving her winded. “help me! she’s fucking dying out there!”, you screeched, much like a hurt animal.

everyone woke up, suddenly alert, and after what felt like a lifetime, but realistically was only a few seconds, everything clicked as internal alarm bells went off within their heads.

jackie.

you were shaking violently, unsure if it was due to the cold or the pure, unfiltered anger. a few girls scattered and sprinted in various directions to prepare what would be needed for a hot bath whereas the rest scrabbled outside to look for their friend. you felt yourself grow lightheaded suddenly; the exhaustion must’ve been hitting you, or perhaps it was your processing of the situation.

after a few minutes, you and lottie managed to undress a stiff jackie and get her in the bathtub as the other girls waited anxiously downstairs. lottie watched your scattered frame wordlessly, being careful not to say anything to set you off. you paced back and forth, stopping every few seconds to examine your girlfriend. finally, the thin, tense cord in your brain snapped as you marched and climbed down the ladder.

everyone sat in the common area, deep shame shadowing over their faces. something about how preventable this entire situation was made you more furious than ever before, and you did something extremely uncharacteristic of you - you unleashed absolute hell on them.

“she could’ve fucking died!”, you shrieked, watching everyone tremble as if your voice had physically shoved them, “you let her stay out there?! what happened to working as a team?”

the room was so silent that you could hear the gentle breeze outside. you continued your verbal rampage, tears welling up in your eyes.

“I don’t give a shit who’s in the wrong, that was so unbelievably fucked up of all of you!”

your small, starved body viciously shook as you sobbed, hiccupping, and choking on the lump in your throat. jackie could’ve died.

van and shauna took a step towards you, reaching their hands up as though they wanted to comfort you with a hug. you, in turn, took a large step back, increasing the distance between you and the girls. “stay the fuck away from me!! you almost let her die! I swear to fuck, stay away from me!”

you glared at everybody, bloodshot eyes prominent, before climbing back up the shaky ladder. jackie began to stir as you emerged.

“(y/n)..?”, she murmured, voice shaky and quiet.

your eyes widened, partially from joy, partially from shock, as you sprinted to her side. big fat tears rolled down your cheeks as you hugged her, not caring that the now overflowing water was beginning to seep into your dress.

“hush, baby, it’s okay… i love you.”

after a few minutes of reassuring yourself more than your girlfriend, you calmed down enough to give lottie a nod. she smiled sweetly before going down the ladder, deciding to leave you two alone. she wanted to help make the peace and let the other girls know that you would all have a big discussion about what happened later.

jackie beamed at you, exhaustion prominent on her face, and with all her strength, pulled you into the bath with her. you yelped as you felt the water soak you.

“jackie!! you little shit!”

her entire body tremored with a laughter that bordered on a joyful hysteria. she put her arms around your shoulders, pulling your foreheads together, touching cold nose to cold nose. you began to sob again, realising just how many memories of your girlfriend you could’ve lost had she died. jackie wiped a tear from your cheek with her thumb, looking you in the eyes before placing her cracked lips onto yours. you became lost in her touch, feeling a newfound sense of hope – of home.

“i love you so much, (y/n). thank you for being in my life,” she whispered after the kiss had ended. her lips were parted slightly, and she looked a little livelier than she had in the past few months.

“i love you too, baby – i’ll never leave you alone again”, you reassured, holding her close, feeling her heartbeat against her ribcage.

 she was alive, that’s all that mattered to you now, and that’s all that would matter to you forever.

[tobiasdrake]

DIgimon Adventure 01x17 - The Illusionary Ship's Captain, Cockatrimon! / The Crest of Sincerity

Previously on Digimon Adventure: Letting his arrogance as a striker get the better of him, Taichi made mistakes on the soccer field that nearly cost his team the game. But no one who matters got hurt (RIP other Greymon) so I guess 'boys will be boys' or whatever you say.

With that lesson behind us, we have two Crests in hand now. Onward to the next phase of our Scavenger Hunt of Doom.

I don't typically bring up the recaps that open each episode. Right before the title page, the narrator explains to us what happened in the previous episode, which the dub generally cuts and replaces with one of the kids narrating.

But. Wow. Dub Tai's interpretation of the previous episode is wild today.

Tai: Okay, so I may have made a slight mistake and who hasn't? But that techno-doofus Etemon nailed us big time with that other Greymon. Our Greymon used up so much energy fighting him, he Digivolved back into Koromon!

Oh, he is definitely going to do it again. Tai has zero regrets. My favorite part is that last line, which he delivers with accusatory outrage. Yep, the other Greymon is definitely the only reason Koromon's in this state now. There were no other causes.

We join our kids lost in the desert still, opening on a small scene of the Partners and kids checking in with each other while they march together.

Piyomon: Sora, are you okay? Sora: I'll manage. Tentomon: Koushiro-han, d-don't get discouraged. Koushiro: Y-Yeah. Gabumon: Yamato-- Yamato: You should worry about yourself. You must be sweltering under all that fur. Gabumon: I'll be okay. Gomamon: Jou, want to take a break? Jou: No, let's work hard and keep going. Tokomon: (singing weakly from atop Takeru's head) ~Takeru fight-o! Takeru: (weakly) ~Fight-o....

Everyone's exhausted in this miserable death march, but they're trying to keep spirits up and keep going. My favorite part is Big Brother Yamato throwing down the Uno Reverse before Gabumon can even get a word out. He just knew.

The dub tries to lighten things up by making the Digimon kind of insufferable right now? I have never wanted to punt a Digimon so hard, oh my god.

Matt: Man, this desert is so hot even a lizard would need sunscreen! Biyomon: Sora, can you carry me? Sora: Not even. Tentomon: The crew cut would look nice on you and it's cooler! Izzy: (sigh) Gabumon: Do I look fat? Matt: No, you look hot. Especially with the fur coat. That thing really needs a zipper. Gabumon: Or maybe just removable shirt sleeves. Gomamon: Hey, how about resting our feet? Joe: There's no place to sit except on a cactus. Tokomon: (atop T.K.'s head) Great view up here! T.K.: Next time I ride.

The thing the dub Digimon need to understand right now is that we are in a desert. No one will find their bodies.

Taichi, walking next to Mimi, is dwelling on his mistakes while carrying Koromon with him.

Taichi: Koromon. I'm sorry. It's my fault you turned back into Koromon. Mimi: Taichi-san, no matter how remorseful you feel, there's nothing you can do about it now. Taichi: Mimi-chan? Mimi: You've got to keep your spirits up for Koromon's sake too. Taichi: (small smile and nod) Mm.

We begin with Mimi offering consolation and guidance to Taichi. This is a good moment for her. However you want to describe it - purity, sincerity, honesty, innocence - Mimi wears her heart on her sleeve, expresses herself and connects with others openly, and lives a life unfettered by regrets and self-doubt. Which is what Taichi needs right now.

Her guidance pulls him out of the spiral of "What did I do?" and gets him back on the path of "What do I do next?"

In the dub, Tai shows way more regret than he did in that opening blurb, but Mimi's insightful advice is... altered....

Tai: You look terrible, Koromon! If only I hadn't acted like such a bonehead, you never would have Digivolved. Mimi: Don't be so hard on yourself. Although, come to think of it, you really have made a super icky mess of things. Ahaha! Tai: ...thanks, Mimi. Mimi: Oh, don't mention it, Tai! I'm glad to help with the pep talk now and then! Tai: (small smile and nod; awkward) Mmhmm....

Do we really have to do this to her in Mimi's own episode? Okay.

While they're talking, Palmon fantasizes about a way to solve the heat problem for everyone.

Mimi: Still, it's really hot. Taichi: I'm worried about how long Koromon can take this.... Palmon: I want to become a giant Togemon and give everyone shade!

She launches into a brief imagination sequence, thinking about everyone taking shelter from the sun under her.

In the dub:

Mimi: I haven't sweated this much since cheerleader tryouts! Tai: Koromon doesn't look so good. I'm worried. Palmon: You know what we need right now is a whole bunch of shade! A big umbrella or a really big tree! Or maybe I could grow into a giant cactus and smile down onto all of you as I provide cool, refreshing comfort. Matt: It's official. The sun has just turned Palmon's brain into a french fry. Earth to Palmon! Come in!

Palmon's line gets extended significantly and Matt's given asshole banter. This is for the sake of carrying us through Palmon's imagination sequence, which lasts about 13 seconds without any dialogue or significant action taking place. You know how the dub feels about that.

Before Palmon can go any farther with this fantasy, Mimi snaps her out of it.

The group's just noticed a colossal cactus nearby.

Palmon: A giant cactus! Taichi: Awesome, everyone! Let's go relax in the shade!

Excited, they sprint around the cactus to take shelter in its shade! Palmon exclaims:

Palmon: I want to become a cactus as big as that one!

It's good to have life goals, Palmon.

In the dub, Palmon mistakenly takes credit for the colossal cactus.

Palmon: Wowee, I did that?

We cut to commercial and when we return, Tai agrees with her interpretation.

Palmon: Gee, I'm pretty amazing. Tai: Yeah, you better believe it, Palmon! Come on, everybody; Let's head for some shade!

I like how we're all in agreement that Palmon can summon external cacti. That's one of her powers now, Tai's decided. XD No reason to scrutinize this any further.

Tragically, as they reach the far side of the cactus, they find that it doesn't have any shade. It casts no shadow at all. In fact, it flickers out of existence shortly after, as if it had never been there.

Mirage? Not quite.

The cactus was a hologram concealing one of Gennai's projectors. He appears to greet the kids, but Taichi isn't in a chatty mood. His Crest is defective and he wants to speak to a manager.

Gennai: Chosen Children! Group: Gennai! Taichi: Hey, geezer! I got the Tag and Crest like you said, put them together, and fought a bad guy, but he didn't evolve at all! Worse, poor Agumon regressed into Koromon! Mimi: I don't want a Crest! Gennai: Calm yourselves, Chosen Children. You're going to have Crests whether you like it or not. The Tag and Crest naturally light each other up. Group: (widespread noises of disapproval) Mimi: That can't be.... Gennai: Let me explain why Agumon regressed into Koromon. Even with both the Tag and Crest, unless you raise your Digimon correctly-- Taichi: Raise them correctly? Gennai: Yes. Unless you give them a good upbringing, they won't evolve the right way. Taichi: How do we raise them correctly, then? Gennai: Chosen Children, to give appropriate care-- (Connection disrupts and then disconnects) Taichi: That geezer! Everything he says is confusing!

Ever unreliable, the connection cuts out just as Gennai was about to upload the walkthrough for min/maxing your V-Pet's affection ratings. Guess we'll have to wing it.

(Game plan, everyone. When you're unsure, just ask, "What would Taichi do?" and then do the opposite. Especially you, Taichi!)

In contrast to the scenes leading up to this conversation, everyone's made nicer in the dub.

Gennai: Well, well. It's about time you got here. I was just about ready to give up on you. Matt: It's Gennai! Tai: Gennai, we found the Tags and a couple of Crests like you wanted, but when we got into trouble, our Digimon couldn't Digivolve. They ended up worse off than when they started! Take a look at poor Agumon; He is just not himself! And I'm supposed to be helping him! Mimi: I think those thingies are more trouble than they're worth! Gennai: Calm down, kids. Let me explain. The Tags and Crests are extremely important. Please make sure no one else gets a hold of them. In the end, you shall see that they will work together to help you create total harmony. Group: (all gasp in surprise together) Mimi: In English? Gennai: Just trust me. After all, I'm the floating glowing guy. As for Koromon, he wouldn't be so helpless if you had known how to care for him in the proper way. Tai: But I did the best I could! Gennai: Patience is what you need to learn, my friends. And you will learn it in time. Tai: But I want to have Agumon back now! Gennai: I'm starting to lose my connection. That's something you're going to have to figure out for yourself. Good luck. (Connection disrupts.) Tai: Wait a minute! Gennai: Sorry, I'm on a tight schedule! (Connection disconnects) Tai: It never fails! Every time I need to know about something, he hangs me out to dry!

This is your second conversation with him, Tai. XD

Here, Tai doesn't sling ageist barbs at Gennai out of frustration and Gennai doesn't come in with that "You're doing this whether you want to or not" bit. Also, he's the floating glowing guy.

Dub Gennai suggests that we need to keep the Tags and Crests away from the villains, which is contextually awkward. The only thing the villains would want with them is to keep them away from us. They don't do anything except evolve a Chosen Child's Partner Digimon.

This is probably here to create tension for events later in the episode, when the villain collects Taichi and Jou's Crest-filled Tags and carries them around like trophies, but it makes little sense in context.

The most glaring change is the back half of the conversation. He briefly brings up that proper care for one's Digimon will influence how they evolve, but then gives them a vague platitude about patience and peaces out.

This is a much worse scene. It lacks the high-strung emotional intensity of the original, where the kids seem practically traumatized by the SkullGreymon incident and want to abandon course. They also use a lot more words to say less.

Dub Gennai might as well have been written by AI; He doesn't sound like he's conversing with the kids or engaging with the context of their concerns. Instead, he offers vague Good Guy Mentor sentiments that might as well have been written in a vacuum.

With Gennai gone, the DIgimon and kids begin to mull over what he told them at the end there.

Piyomon: He mentioned good upbringing? Gabumon: Are we being brought up the right way, though? Yamato: Gabumon, wait a moment! Koushiro: I'm not sure I can.... Tentomon: No no no, Koushiro-han. What are you saying!? Gomamon: What about me? Jou: I have absolutely no confidence I can do it. Zero percent confidence. Gomamon: Hey!

With the introduction of this "BTW You basically need to parent your Digimon" element, spirits around the group are at an all-time low. It was all fun and games until suddenly consequences were patched in.

(I jest. It was never fun and games. These children are being hunted for sport.)

In the dub:

Biyomon: Are we being cared for properly? Gabumon: If we were, Agumon wouldn't have Digivolved backwards. Matt: Come on! Don't freak me out! Izzy: I'm... better with computers! Tentomon: That's ridiculous. As far as I'm concerned, you're the best! Gomamon: You look bummed. Joe: How am I supposed to take care of you? Is there a handbook somewhere? I feel very inadequate. Gomamon: Me too.

The dub goes strong in this one. They flip Gabumon's question over to Biyomon so Gabumon can scorch the kids for what happened to Agumon.

Izzy and Joe's lines are well-characterized and specific to their personalities. Izzy cops to his discomfort in social situations, which has been a point of contention with him before, while Joe neurotically asks for a text he can study.

Also, Gomamon replying to "I feel very inadequate" with "Me too" is just. I don't know why I loved that so much, I just did. You're the salt of the earth, Gomamon.

Before this discussion can continue, however, something comes cutting through the sands straight for them.

Because this is still Digimon/Digital World, where appropriate context for real-world things is a sucker's gambit.

Taichi: A battleship! Sora: No, that's a luxury cruise ship! Jou: Why is a cruise ship sailing through the desert!? Mimi: Waugh! Takeru: Is it a mirage too? Yamato: No, it's not!

The kids quickly scatter out of the way of the passing ship.

The dub is mostly the same, except for Jou's line.

Tai: Is that a battleship!? Sora: Could be... But it looks more like a fancy cruise ship. Joe: The passengers are gonna want their money back when they see this place! Mimi: Yeah.... T.K.: It could be just a mirage! Matt: Yeah? Looks pretty real to me!

Very considerate of Joe to be worried about strangers' recreational finances at a time like this! Jou's question gets made into a quip, while Mimi's distressed throat noises become verbal support for Joe's goofiness.

Dub Sora is also slightly more willing to entertain the possibility that this is a battleship than her Japanese counterpart, but in that diplomatic tone you use when you don't want to hurt someone's feelings even though that thing they just said is very stupid.

As the kids scramble out of the ship's path, it slows to a stop. After a moment, a sailor peeks out to see what's going on, revealing the ship's occupants to the kids.

Numemon: Nume...? Group: (collective groans of disappointment) Awww! Mimi: Numemon!

I was trying to think of a funny thing I could say like "Well fuck me" following that image but honestly nothing tops the entire group of Chosen Children wordlessly booing as soon as he appeared.

Sadly, the anguished cries don't make it into the dub, which is going for more of a confused reaction.

Numemon: Ahoy ha hahaha! Group: (gasping in surprise) HUH!?!?!? Mimi: Numemon!

Nonetheless, Taichi looks down at Koromon quivering in the scorched sun and makes a judgment call.

Taichi: Numemon! Please let us rest on your ship! Numemon: (squints suspiciously and pulls away) Nume.... Mimi: (steps forward) Let me handle the Numemon. NUMEMON!!! We're all tired! Could you let us rest on your luxury ship? O-ne-ga-i (Please)?

Putting to work the acquired knowledge that she's apparently very harassable, Mimi offers a different flirty pose with each syllable of onegai.

It works like a charm. The Numemon sailor lowers the boarding ramp, allowing the kids to climb up.

In the dub:

Tai: Hey fella! Could all of us come aboard and freshen up? Numemon: (squints suspiciously and pulls away) Eugh-ew.... Mimi: If you don't mind, this needs a woman's touch. Well, hey there, big boy! Your ship looks so, so inviting! How about letting us onboard so that we can check it out? Oh-please-mm-hmm?

She calls him "big boy" and tells him his ship "looks inviting", rather than asking to rest because they're tired.

Maybe it's just me but I feel weird about shifting "Let me handle the Numemon" to "This needs a woman's touch". The former sets up what follows as a direct follow-up on Mimi's experiences with Numemon while the latter makes it strictly about her gender. Women be flirtin' I guess.

As they board the ship, Mimi exclaims:

Mimi: It looks like a first-class hotel!

Which the dub makes into:

Mimi: Ugh! What!? No linen tablecloths? Well, I guess we can rough it!

XD That one got me. I don't remember what her living situation is like when we finally get to see the kids go home next arc, but the dub's set her up as this ultra-wealthy heiress so it'll be interesting to see how that goes.

Once the kids are onboard, they break off and go enjoy themselves. The girls hit the showers in one of the cabins to take advantage of a rare opportunity to get clean. Meanwhile Koushiro joins Yamato and Takeru in inspecting the dining hall.

Yamato: This food looks incredible. Gabumon: It does.... Takeru: I want to eat it.... Koushiro: We should ask someone before we start eating. Yamato: But it looks so good! Tentomon: (stomach gurgle) I'm so hungry, I think I might die. Gabumon: (stomach gurgle) Well.... Tokomon: (stomach gurgle) Me too.... Koushiro: (huge stomach gurgle, looks embarrassed) It would be rude to the cooks if we let the food they made get cold, right? Group: Right! Koushiro: Itadakimasu! (Customary Japanese expression used to kick off the start of a meal.)

Koushiro's initially reluctant to go along with eating what may or may not be someone else's meal, but hunger makes him relent. The kids ravenously devour the food in front of them.

(Just remember the Egg Fridge. We're still starving kids in a crisis situation! It's still okay!)

In the dub:

Matt: Check out the incredible spread! Izzy: It appears to be highly edible. Tentomon: Might i propose we eat a bit and take the leftovers with us. Matt: Let's eat it all now! T.K.: Ohh, I can't believe it! Izzy: Remember when the food was just an illusion? Matt: Another alien plot!? Tentomon: (sniff sniff) It doesn't smell like an alien plot. Gabumon: (burp) Excuse me. Tokomon: Huh? Ahhh.... Izzy: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh After extensive deliberation, I've come to the conclusion that it would be rude to allow this cuisine to become cold! Group: Yeah! Izzy: LET'S GO FOR IT, GUYS!!!

XD Matt and Tentomon riffing on Izzy's dub-exclusive "BET IT'S ALIENS" thing in the early episodes. Never live it down, Izzy.

But also, they cut the starving stomach grumbles but had nothing to replace that gag with. Gabumon, Tokomon, and even Izzy briefly have to settle for just making sounds where their stomach gurgles are supposed to go. For about four seconds, Izzy opens his mouth and farts out verbal CPU Processing noises.

Taichi and Jou use this time to relax at the pool, where Jou proves he's a braver man than I am by taking his glasses out onto the water with him.

Taichi: What do you think Gennai meant when he told us to raise our Digimon correctly? Jou: Dunno. At least we're trying to take care of them properly.

The dub dialogue is basically the same, but the kids are more defensive.

Tai: I'm confused, Joe; What do you think Gennai meant when he said we weren't taking proper care of our Digimon? Joe: Ugh, I don't know. We've done everything but give them an allowance!

They'd blow it on candy and soda pop anyway. And the soda machines are Numemon dispensers so let's not open that can of worms!

Unbeknownst to the boys, there's a man up top watching them through binoculars like the biggest creep on the ship.

Captain: Chosen Children... your fates--

Before there can be any mistake about whether this is a real human man, his body suddenly tears open like a paper bag to reveal his true form.

Cockatrimon: --are in the hands of Cockatrimon!

I have absolutely no idea why he was in a human disguise. It never comes up again. I honestly wonder if there was supposed to be a scene where he, as the Captain, introduces himself to the kids and welcomes them to the ship. Something that ended up cut for time.

That's the only thing that makes sense to me. This is clearly meant to be a big reveal, but we've never seen this guy before.

From here, the narrator gives the rundown. Cockatrimon is an Adult-stage Data-type Giant Bird Digimon. His name, of course, derives from "cockatrice", a draconic chicken monster from English mythology born from eggs laid by roosters. Its gaze is believed to cause instant death, which pop culture often portrays through petrification.

Narrator: Cockatrimon. A ferocious bird Digimon. His feathers have degraded, annoying him with his inability to fly. His special attack is Petrifier.

He also speaks in a regional Nagoya accent. The subs I'm watching translate the regional "gaya" and "nyaa" words he adds to his dialogue as "BAWK" and "BACAWK". I am not going to do that because, unless I know for sure that was the actual intent of using this dialect, it feels disrespectful to turn a real-world accent into animal noises. Just know that he has the equivalent of a Californian dialect.

He does sometimes utter "koka koka koka!" in bird squawk, however. So that's fair game.

Over in the dub, Digimon names are rewritten in English during the rundown. There, his name is presented as Kokatorimon. This is a literal translation of the katakana used to spell his name: "Ko-ka-to-ri-mo-n", taken at face value with zero effort to parse it. That's okay, 90's kids probably think cockatrice is a cool enemy creature that Final Fantasy made up. It's pretty obscure as mythical beasts go.

(Jou-senpai, be sure to buy lots of Softs from the cruise ship's Item Shop while you're here! Casting Esuna sometimes doesn't cut it!)

However, when his name is said out loud, the actors pronounce it "Cockatrimon" anyway. Voice crew seems to have put more work into understanding this than the editing crew, resulting in an awkward disconnect.

The dub uses his second line, as he reveals himself, to segue straight into his diegetic rundown.

Captain: Aha! I see a couple have taken the bait. Time for me to get started! They'll never forget this cruise. Kokatorimon: (explodes out of the Captain's body) RARGH, I'm Cockatrimon! My cock-a-doodle-doo will blow out your eardrums! Mess with me and you'll be pecked into surrender!

I mean you can also turn people to stone but deafening doodling is cool too. XD

Once he's finished explaining himself to the audience, Cockatrimon moves to his command center to report in to Etemon.

Cockatrimon: Just in case, I should report this to Etemon-sama and ask what I should do with them.

While the original's seeking guidance, Kokatorimon wants to report in Mission Accomplished.

Kokatorimon: Etemon will reward me greatly when he learns I've trapped the DigiDestined on my ship!

However, after the SkullGreymon incident, Etemon's having some technical difficulties.

Not that. That's just Etemon entertaining himself. The Dark Network is still in total disarray after SkullGreymon tore up the Coliseum. Three Gazimon technicians are desperately trying to get it back up and running, but it's slow going.

Etemon: Morons! Hurry up and fix my network! Who do you think I am!? I'm King of Digimon, Etemon-sama!!! Got a problem with that? Gazimon: None at all! (spotlights activate; Etemon begins performance) Etemon: YEAH!!! / Who is the strongest in the world? / That's me WAHOO!!!

The Gazimon join him as backup dancers, but he breaks off his song to clobber all three of them.

Etemon: Who told you to dance!? Don't just sit there holding your heads!

The Gazimon go straight back to work while Etemon resumes his song, and we cut away from there.

The dub shockingly lets 20 seconds go by without dialogue as we follow the black cable to Etemon's trailer. This scene lets Etemon have a musical number. You know they milked that for all it's worth.

Etemon: Step it up, fools! I'm gettin' very impatient here, y'know what I mean? If my network's offline then everybody crashes! Lemme tell ya why. BECAUSE I'M ETHEMON(sic)!!! You wanna make somethin' of it!? Gazimon: No way! (spotlights activate; Ethemon begins performance) Etemon: YEAH yeah! / I'm the coolest cat there is and if you don't watch out / I'm gonna getcha 'til you scream and shout! / 'Cause I'm the hippest Digimon in town! / Oh yeeeeeah-- (Etemon bashes the Gazimon) Etemon: So who gave you permission to dance!? Now y'all get back to work before I get myself upset again!

I think by this point it's clear they only did one take of any given line read when dubbing the show. We've seen a few of these obvious flubs at this point. Mistakes happen to the best of us but you can re-record stuff, y'know.

But, glaring line flub excepted, the dub of this scene is so good. Elvismon knocks it out of the park with his musical number.

Since the Dark Network is down, Cockatrimon's transmission fails to go through. He has to make a judgment call for himself.

Cockatrimon: Hmm, weird. I can't reach Etemon-sama. (Cockatrimon walks to the voicepipe, letting out a "Koka!" with every step.) Cockatrimon: No other choice. I'll just get rid of them.

He opens the pipe with his beak and calls down to the Numemon below decks, who've been refreshingly absent despite Mimi flirting our way onto the ship.

Cockatrimon: To all Numemon part-timers: I'll give a substantial pay raise to anyone who captures the Chosen Children!

...the Numemon are working here part-time? I desperately want more details on that. What does that mean, Cockatrimon? XD I wanna be a part-time cruise ship sailor. Maybe not in the desert though. Cockatrimon is running a weird ship.

In the dub:

Kokatorimon: Something's wrong! Etemon's network appears to be down. Ahh, who needs him! I'll have the pleasure of plastering their feathers all by myself! (Kokatorimon walks to the voicepipe, letting out a "Koka!" with every step.) Kokatorimon: It's amazing how my brains surpass my good looks! (Kokatorimon opens the voicepipe and calls down) Kokatorimon: Now hear this! I have an important message for ya! Listen up, this is the deal: I'll give you Numemon an extra serving of dried bread and even throw in some jelly if you capture those kids!

So I guess they're slaves in the dub.

The Numemon go to work and earn that pay raise. They capture Taichi and Jou immediately. They also try and throw a net around Gomamon, but he conjures Marching Fishes from the swimming pool to tear the net open. Don't mess with Gomamon in a body of water.

More Numemon go to the side table, where Koromon is hanging out with Taichi and Jou's Crests. Fortunately, all this relaxation provided just the recovery time he needed to get back in the game and defend those Tags. Koromon SHINKAAAAAA!!!

Leaping from the table, Agumon lets off a Baby Flame and... watches helplessly as Cockatrimon, appearing out of nowhere, effortlessly slaps away his attempt. It's okay, man. You tried.

Cockatrimon replies with a blast of Petrifier from his eyes.

I don't think we're going to be able to shinkaaaaaa our way out of that.

Of note, when using Petrifier, Cockatrimon calls the attack as "Petri... FIIIIIIIIRE!!!" which goes hard. Not only does the dub not change the name of the attack for once, but they do their best to copy the Japanese delivery too. It's just that good.

With Gomamon and Agumon turned to stone, there's nothing to stop Cockatrimon from taking Taichi and Jou's Tags and Crests. He holds them up in front of the pool and laughs at the kids in loud, obnoxious chicken squawks.

In the dub, Kokatorimon throws in some extra jeers rather than just laughing.

Kokatorimon: You're sunk without these! But I wouldn't be too upset; Now you've got yourself a couple of nice Digimon garden ornaments!

He made them into lawn gnomes. Is there any fate more terrible?

While the Numemon hold the line against the kids Digimon, Cockatrimon makes his way through the ship to sink them. He hits the dining hall next, petrifying Tentomon, Tokomon, and Gabumon the way he did Agumon and Gomamon.

Five down. Two to go.

Cockatrimon follows the Numemon to the cabin that the girls were in. They've turned the cabin upside-down, but the girls aren't there. The sound of the running shower gives away their presence, however, and he breaks down the bathroom door.

They aren't there either. They left the water running as a distraction and slipped out the window, wrapped in towels.

As an aside, as he fits his head through the window, Cockatrimon lets out the most pathetic and confused, "...koka?" It's hilarious and adorable.

For some reason, the dub has Mimi call out from the bathroom:

Mimi: I'd give anything for a good moisturizing shampoo!

Which seems to be what calls Kokatorimon's attention to the bathroom, rather than the sound of the shower running. This is a little janky; Placing them in the room right at that moment gives them about four seconds to realize they're in danger, grab towels, and then fit four people (Palmon and Biyomon are with them) through that tiny window. They must have hustled!

Also, once he notices the window, Kokatorimon declares:

Kokatorimon: You little chikadees think you're so smart! (Kokatorimon sticks his head through the window) Kokatorimon: ARGH!!! They won't get away that easily!

It's not as funny as the tiny, pitiful koka.

It doesn't take him long to cut them off in the hall, however.

Cockatrimon: There you are! Palmon & Piyomon: COCKATRIMON!!! Sora: Is he with Etemon!? Piyomon: Looks like! Cockatrimon: (cackles maliciously, holding up the Tags and Crests) Mimi: Those are Taichi-san and Jou-senpai's Crests!

In the dub, Sora and Mimi add in some scathing insults while they're at it.

Kokatorimon: (unintelligible squawk roar) Palmon & Biyomon: IT'S COCKATRIMON!!! Sora: It's not the Easter Chicken? Biyomon: He's bad news! Kokatorimon: (cackles maliciously, holding up the Tags and Crests) Mimi: That omelet-head has Tai and Joe's Tags!

Small nitpick: Biyomon's never been to this continent and although she knows what a Cockatrimon is, she probably shouldn't speak from authority as to the moral character of this one.

Opting to engage the girls in conversation, the Easter Chicken reveals what he's done to the boys.

Cockatrimon: I've captured the other five Chosen Children and put them out to dry in the sun. Pretty soon, I'll have dried and crunchy Chosen Children to eat! Mimi: That's horrible! Piyomon: And their Digimon? Cockatrimon: I've turned them to stone with my power. I'll use them to boil some nice soup. Palmon: Unbelievable! Cockatrimon: Don't worry. You're about to join them. Piyomon: UNFORGIVABLE!!!

Hahaha wow that took a turn for the horrifying, didn't it? Cockatrimon intends to cook and eat the kids.

Shockingly, Cockatrimon's intentions for these children makes it into the dub unaltered.

Kokatorimon: I ran into several of your friends over by the pool. But don't get your heads in a spin; They're just drying off! Nothing like little sun-baked faces... fried to a crisp with curly corn spuds and lots of coleslaw! Group: Eugh! Biyomon: Where are the Digimon!? Kokatorimon: Don't worry about those guys! Confidentially, I find them to be a little bit on the stiff side, but that just happens to be my personal opinion! Palmon: Your opinion stinks! Kokatorimon: Now you're going to meet the same fate! AHAHAHAHA!!! Piyomon: YOU'VE CACKLED ONCE TOO OFTEN!!!

Holy shit, are Kokatorimon's quips good or what? Really adds to the menace of the guy in this, his moment of strength. Sometimes the dub quipping takes away from the emotion of a scene but here it magnifies it. These are solid villain quips.

We lose Cockatrimon confessing that he's going to make soup from the Digimon statues, but that's okay; We still got him admitting that he's going to eat the baked children so the horror is there nonetheless.

Piyomon and Palmon cut loose with Magical Fire and Poison Ivy, but Cockatrimon fends them off easily. He fires back with Petrifier; However, they're able to scramble away from his shot before it lands.

As we briefly escape the horrifying fate awaiting us in the stomach of this awful beast, he's forced to remind us how silly he is by waddling after the girls uttering "Koka koka koka!" with each step. However, there's only so far to run.

During the kids' flight from the cabin hall, the dub adds some extra dialogue.

Kokatorimon: COME BACK, YOU CHICKENS!!! Sora: Who's he calling a chicken!?

I'd call this one borderline when it comes to tension-killing humor. If Cockatrimon were a more serious villain then this might be a problem, but he's built on a juxtaposition between horrifying menace and ridiculous silliness. So this joke fits the tone well.

Backing them into a corner at the very edge of the ship, Cockatrimon advances on his prey. He doesn't realize that all of this open space evens the playing field.

As Birdramon takes flight, Cockatrimon is momentarily stunned.

Cockatrimon: SH-SHE'S FLYING!!!

He's too fixated on Birdramon in the air to even realize he's in danger at first. It's only as she lets off her Meteor Wing that it suddenly hits him, and he frantically hops away from her shots at the last second.

This is the payoff to what the narrator said in the rundown: That being flightless is a background aggravation for Cockatrimon. Sora picks up on it too.

Sora: It looks like Cockatrimon can't fly. Mimi: Palmon, it's your chance!

Incidentally, a background detail that makes Cockatrimon's jealousy of Birdramon so effective is that he's a separate evolution branch of Piyomon. He could have become a Birdramon, but instead he's stuck flightless. This is never brought up in the anime but I'm sure it made a few people with the V-Pet laugh.

Unfortunately, since the dub scrubbed this particular quirk of Cockatrimon's, we don't get to see it paid off here.

Kokatorimon: Hey, that's not fair!

He's probably still talking about Birdramon flying in the air but it's not well-explained why this stuns him into inaction. Then, after she opens fire and he barely manages to dodge, we get:

Sora: What's the matter, you big cluck!? Can't you fly? Mimi: Palmon, it's your turn!

I would love this taunt from Sora if we'd taken the time to set up Kokatorimon's sore spot. It still works; Sora is bragging about how cool Birdramon is. But it'd go hard if she was intentionally rubbing salt into his emotional wound.

Mimi seizes this opportunity to bring out Togemon as well, doubling up on Cockatrimon.

Once this turns 2v1 and he's not beating up Digi-Children, Cockatrimon's got nothing. Birdramon lays down another Meteor Wing from the air, distracting Cockatrimon and forcing him to drop Taichi and Jou's Crests. Then Togemon lets off a modified Chiku-Chiku Bang Bang.

Her needles, spraying into him and disorienting him with intense pain, are the Chiku-Chiku. He doesn't even notice her closing distance until she's in his face. Her punches are the Bang Bang, closing with an uppercut that sends him sailing up into the ship's smokestack.

An explosion from the smokestack finishes him off, and the petrified Digimon abruptly revert back to normal.

As he dies, Mimi exclaims:

Mimi: Hooray!

Which the dub turns into:

Mimi: FRIED CHICKEN!!!

XD You know what? Turnabout is fair play. He brought this on himself.

The kids regroup, but then notice the part-timers throwing down the boarding ramp and fleeing for their lives, shedding their sailor outfits in the process.

Taichi: The Numemon are fleeing in a panic. Koushiro: That must mean it's dangerous to stay on this ship. Sora: Let's hurry up and get out of here. Taichi: Yeah!

The dub kids seem a little slower on the uptake. Except Tai.

Tai: I say we do the same as they are and abandon ship! Izzy: I guess it's a little late for a mutiny. Sora: Don't worry, the Captain's already been fricasseed.

Guys, our lives are in danger. Please stop quipping and leave the ship now.

As the kids vacate, something crawls from the smokestack.

Cockatrimon: Damn it... Those Chosen Children and their Digimon... Cockatrimon has used his willpower to revive himself and is now going to get his revenge on you! KOKA-KA-KA-KA-KA-KA--

Given that his death un-petrified all of the Digimon, this might not be hyperbole. There's a real possibility that Cockatrimon resurrected himself in the fires of the ship's furnace like a phoenix. But it's ambiguous.

Ironically, Hououmon or Phoenixmon is on Birdramon's evolution path but not Cockatrimon's. Still, this feels like a phoenix allusion.

Either way, he's trying to do an Epic Boss Fight Phase 2 speech while clambering over a barrier in unrelenting agony and it's hilarious.

As he speaks, he climbs slowly over the lip of the smokestack. He slips over the side mid-cackle, falling painfully back onto the ship's deck.

In the dub:

Kokatorimon: Ugggh, my head... You may have ruffled my tail feathers but I can still- AWK AWK AWK!!! Awk... uggghh... Okay, so maybe I've lost a little bit of my noodle, but I'm not finished yet! AWK AWK AWK--Oh!

You should go back in and find that noodle, just a suggestion.

The kids return to the desert, once more marching through scorching hell. Mimi utters:

Mimi: I'm roasting....

Which the dub makes into:

Joe: Well, the weather certainly hasn't gotten any cooler.... Mimi: Do you guys hear something?

Nice quippy complaint from Joe. Well-timed and tonally appropriate.

Suddenly, they hear a sound headed their way.

The kids flee for their lives through the desert, while Cockatrimon gives chase. Though the kids are able to sprint fast enough to stay ahead, the ship steadily gains ground.

(Hey, look at that! Taichi's vindicated; It's a battleship now! Also, shame on every one of these children for neither splitting up nor going perpendicular to its approach; cruiser ships are not famous for turning on a dime.)

They come upon a massive cactus like the one before, but with one key difference.

Palmon: A giant cactus!? Mimi: Is it another mirage!? Taichi: No! It has a shadow!

This is another detail that gets confused in the dub, as they don't bring up the proof of the cactus's realness.

Mimi: (wailing) OHHHHHH-- LOOK!!! Palmon: The giant cactus is back! Mimi: Oh no, not another mirage! Tai: What were you expecting, an outlet mall!? Matt: Hurry! Get over on the other side!

Tai seems to agree with Mimi that the cactus is a mirage before Matt yells at everyone to take cover anyway? Weird choice, kids. Though a couple scenes later, we find out Mimi still didn't realize it was real, so it works.

Ship meets cactus. Cactus wins hard, destroying everything above deck on impact and flinging the rest into the sky with with a comical springy sound.

As the ship ascends, Cockatrimon finally achieves the greatest ambition of his life.

Cockatrimon: I'm at high altitude! I'm flying! I'M FLYING!!!

His vocal delivery makes clear that this is a moment of panic for him. "I'm flying!" is delivered as wishful thinking.

Over in the dub, he similarly freaks out.

Kokatorimon: WAUGH!!! I can fly, I can fly-- Oh, I can't fly! WHOA-OH-OH-OH-OH!!!

Then the black cable attached to the ship. The cable breaking causes a chain explosion, destroying the ship utterly. The explosion consumes Cockatrimon as well, blasting him to dust.

Down on the ground, the kids marvel at the giant cactus that saved their lives.

Mimi: It wasn't a mirage! Palmon: It's a real giant cactus!

Someone wasn't paying attention when Taichi pointed out the shadow.

Dub Mimi's weirdly invested in its size more than anything else.

Mimi: Wow! It's even bigger than a skyscraper! Palmon: You're right! What's a skyscraper, Mimi?

Sadly, the necessary timing to match lip flaps ruins Palmon's joke, as she needed to pause for a beat between her sentences. Good effort, though. B+

As if in response to their presence, a flower blooms on the very top of the cactus. It opens to reveal a colossal stone plate.

As with the others, the stone resonates with Mimi's Tag, forming into a Crest and sliding into its proper slot. Words cannot do justice to the overwhelming terror and dread on Mimi's face as her Crest manifests.

Sora: This is what Gennai meant when he said the Tag and Crest naturally light each other up. Mimi: (distraught) I didn't want this... Will I be able to raise Palmon properly? Palmon: Ah... Mi... Mimi....

Her question goes unanswered, and we end the episode with that uncertain and terrifying burden hanging in the air over everyone's shoulders.

The dub did not like this ending. They take an axe to the whole scene.

Sora: He was right! It's just like Gennai said! The Tags and Crests somehow work together, Mimi! Mimi: Huh? It's the Crest of Sincerity! I don't deserve it but if it'll help me take care of Palmon, I'll keep it! Palmon: Awww, thanks, Mimi!

What a happy ending with no nervousness or ambiguity whatsoever! Also, I like how "I didn't want this" became "I don't deserve this"; She would not fucking say that. You've characterized her as a self-important judgmental rich girl. Dub Mimi would absolutely think she deserves anything you can give her.

Also, before I forget: Spoilers, Mimi! We don't know about that yet!

Assessment: Cockatrimon is a delightful antagonist. Amazing punch-clock energy. He's a pitiful loser with an unbelievably game-breaking power. His job is strictly recreational but he just happened upon the kids by chance; With Etemon out-of-contact, now the local Denny's Manager is forced to try and step up and be the Warlord of Doom. And yet he's no less heinous for being pathetic.

Also, that makes two of Etemon's allies that the kids have stone-cold killed. Devimon gave them a taste for blood and now they're taking no prisoners. :P I jest, but this is the start of a recurring background plot detail regarding the 01 kids that will continue through this series and into 02.

I was really nervous because of that Mimi and Numemon scene at the start but thankfully the uncomfortable stuff ended there. Mimi managed to spend half the episode wearing a towel and didn't get harassed once!

This one's dub is complicated. They've gotten really good at figuring out the right jokes to slot in so that they add to a scene's tone rather than detracting. Etemon's musical number slays in the dub, too.

But also, there's a lot going on here and the dub doesn't convey much of it well. Both in terms of the larger plot and the smaller character beats, the dub of this episode feels much more confused, unfocused, and shallow than the original.

Also, the anti-Mimi bias is starting to show its face again; And they've been behaving themselves so much with her lately!

Episode 16 was a phenomenal dub, but while 17 is a mixed bag. It's really good when it's cracking jokes and riffing on the material, and really bad when it's trying to examine the plot and characters.

[kvhasproblems]

Bite the Hand - Van/Fem!reader

Chapter 2

Chapter 1, chapter 3, masterlist

Summary: R tries to sort through` her complex thoughts and hangs out with Lottie.

Warnings: reader has like serious comphet and eternalized homophobia for the first bit of this, reader also has religious trauma and shity parents (who even has good parents in this show lmao), regular yellowjackets violence, this is also gonna be like the slowest of slow burns

A/n: This chapter ended up being way shorter than planned but its better this way. Also chapter 3 might take a hot minute to come out because I move out on Saturday… but I’m hoping to get a one shot out sometime this week.

Word Count: 1900

I enter the change room sweaty and exhausted. I head to my locker when I see Van, who is violently shoving her stuff in her bag. I walk up to her.

“Hey, can we talk-“ I start before pushes past me zipping her bag as she leaves the changing room without a word.

“Ooooo what did you do?” Mari singsonged while she strutted over to her locker.

“Leave it, Mari,” Lottie answered for me. “Whatever happened is none of our business.”

“Actually I think it is our business, I mean we are a team and if this is going to affect how we play-“ Jackie said clearly wanting the drama more than anything.

“It’s not going to affect how we play because Y/n is going to figure her shit out!” Tai slammed her locker shut and left not without giving me a dirty look.

Great now she is mad too. Everyone stared slightly shocked by Taissa’s outburst. Before turning to make small talk to the person next to them. I started to quickly pack up my stuff, I just wanted to go home and cry, how did today end up such a mess? Shauna stopped me on the way out the door.

“Van’s never one to stay mad for long, I'm sure if you talk to her you can work it out.” She gave me a small smile.

“Thanks, Shauna.” I returned her smile before heading out the door and walking to the parking lot. My head is spinning, between Tai’s outburst and Shauna’s words of encouragement I feel more confused than ever. I know I messed up but I have no idea how to even go about fixing this. After a few minutes, Lottie joined me unlocking her car.

“Sorry for taking so long.” She apologized while throwing our bags in the trunk.

“No worries,” I mumbled getting into the passenger seat of the car. As Lottie drove I watched the buildings and scenery zip away as we passed as my thoughts continued to spiral.

“So, not to pry but if you wanna talk I’m here.” Lottie broke the silence between us before turning the radio down a bit.

“I’m not even sure what to say Lot, I just know I messed up. I kept saying all the wrong things but the worst part is my parents would be proud of me. If they ever found out that-“ I couldn’t even bring myself to say it. I pause for a second before restarting. “l need to apologize or at least just try to explain myself better but she won’t even speak to me.”

“I’m sure she’s just cooling down, When she’s ready to talk she’ll come to you, just be ready to listen when she does.”

I hummed in response. A comfortable silence fell between us. I fidget with my hands as I go back to looking out the window. I keep telling myself that Lottie is right, plus she always has good intuition with these things.

Lottie dropped me off saying that we could still make cookies later if I was feeling up to it before driving away. I walked in the door and started taking my shoes off. Loud barks sounded through the house as Charlie ran up to me.

“Who’s the cutest boy ever!” I coo at him as he said hello. Charlie had been a gift to me from my Uncle when I was 13. I’ll never forget my Uncle bursting through the front door yelling Happy Birthday with a tiny little ball of golden fur in his arms. Despite my parents not even calling that day it was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had and though my Uncle has never said it out loud, I can tell he’s always been worried that my parents aren’t home, so I think Charlie was a way for him to always make sure I wasn’t lonely or bored.

My summers with my Uncle and cousins are always my favourite time of the whole year. Getting to go fishing and helping my cousins on the farm just feeling free.

I took off my shoes and went to my bedroom. I was in desperate need of a shower after today's practice. After, as much as I didn’t want to, I had calc test to study for. I pushed play on my cassette player before sitting and pulling out my notebook.

I physically paused when I realized what was playing. It was the mix Van had brought me the last time she was over. I took in a shaky breath trying to get a grip. I opened my textbook and started my homework regardless of the fact that I was completely distracted.

“Fuck”. I pushed my chair away from my desk and stood up. I swear if I look at one more math problem my head's gonna explode. I look at the clock on my nightstand.

4:17

Two hours since Lottie dropped me off.

“Yeah, that’s definitely enough math for today.” I sighed packing up my stuff before grabbing my telephone off the nightstand and dialling Lottie.

It rang for a moment before she answered.

“Hi.”

“Hey Lottie, should I come over for dinner?”

“Sure, I’ll let Ms. Abby know.”

The Mathew’s maid/hired help Ms. Abby is a very sweet woman and you can see how grateful she is every time I come over, though she would never say I think she worries about Lottie being on her own. My parents fired our permanent maid when I turned 16 stating that I no longer needed a babysitter. Though we still have people come and tend to the yard and house I hate how lonely it gets.

“Thanks, Lot, see you soon,” I say. Lottie says her goodbye before we hang up. I start to get ready packing a small bag with a few things and changing into some jean shorts.

I get to Lotties fairly quickly. We eat dinner and make cookies even if they look horribly misshapen.

We sit on the massive couch in Lottie's basement dimly lit by the TV, wrapped in excessive amounts of blanket. The cookies besides their odd shape are delicious. I grabbed a random tape to put on and it happened to be Jumangi. It had come out in theatres last year and we (Jackie) decided we needed to do some more out-of-practice bonding and Jumangi was the only movie playing with a low enough rating so Laura Lee could come with us. I remember it like it was yesterday giggling and plotting with Van to sneak Laura Lee into a rated R movie even though her parents would never let us hear the end of it. Jackie didn’t let us go through with it but it still made me smile thinking about it.

About halfway through Lottie broke the silence.

“Y/n… would your parents even be around enough to find out if you and Van were…” She let herself trail off. I’ve never truly told Lottie about…me, but she figured it out. She probably knew before I did. At a sleepover last year after Becky’s Halloween party she rolled to face me and whispered into the dark bedroom that she’s my best friend and she’ll always love and support me. I didn’t know what to say then, and I still have trouble even admitting it out loud now.

“I-“ The words seemed to catch in my throat. It’s not like I haven’t thought about it before. Running around in secret with Van. “I’m just scared Lot,” I whisper the confession over the TV. “God... I wish I wasn’t so scared of them, I mean you’re right they wouldn’t even be around enough to know, so why do they get to control me.” I grumble. Me and Lottie have talked about them many times. Our shity parents with their shity rules and expectations that they don’t even bother to stick around and enforce.

“They can only control you if you let them.” Lottie points out.

“You’re one to talk.”

She grabs the pillow and whacks me on the side of the head before erupting into a fit of giggles.

“Oh, it’s SOOOO on!” I laugh grabbing the pillow behind my head.

I drove back from Lottie’s rather late for a school night. ‘Black Hole Sun’ plays quietly as the streetlights zip by. The last time I heard this song in the car was during the ride home from Becky’s party.

I hum as the coolness seeps into my cheek as I rest it on the backseat window. The streetlights pass zip past us like shooting stars. My bones seem to vibrate with the cords of the song. I close my eyes taking a moment to relish in the drunk ride home. Swaying side to side to the chorus of ‘Black Hole Sun’. I feel her weight as she scooches closer practically laying on my side.

“Y/nnnn.” Van pokes my cheek with a drunk whisper. I crack one of my eyes open to see her smiling up at me.

“Vannn.” I singsong back.

“Whatcha looking at.”

“The lights… they are so pretty,” I mumble looking back out at them. They seem to be moving faster like they are spinning around the car.

“The prettiest.” I look to see Van looking directly at me completely ignoring the lights and suddenly it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me. I’m starting to think I maybe shouldn’t shared that joint with Nat. I sit up and Van slides up with me. The car is really spinning now like some twisted carnival ride. I grab onto Van to try to stabilize myself. I accidentally grabbed her thigh.

“Woah!” She laughs. “Buy a girl dinner first.” It’s only then she sees the look on my face. “Uhhh, Tai!” She calls up to Tai who’s dding and has had to deal with us all night.

“What?” She answers turning down the music.

“I think you gotta pull over” Van warns.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” I say way louder than I mean to.

As Tai quickly pulls the car over Lottie wakes up in the passenger seat.

“What’s goin'-“ I don’t hear the rest of what she says as I whip open my door and run down behind the car.

The memory bounces around my head. God I had been so embarrassed that Van had to hold my hair back. It makes sense that Lot tried to talk to me when we got back that night. Me and Van had been inseparable the whole party. I pull into the garage of my house as I continue to reminisce. I think of all the parties, the ones me and Lot snuck into in our Junior year where me and Van were always a little too close. All the times we snuck away to a quiet room and shared stolen kisses. All the times she cast her eyes down and pretended not to be hurt when I told her that we were just friends. The way her eyes would follow me around the room as I pretended not to notice or stare back when she wasn’t looking. I think about the way she looked today. Her face set and strong but her eyes so full of sadness and longing. It made me sick to my stomach. I tried to push the memory away. I need sleep.

[bengiyo]

La Pluie Ep 9 Stray Thoughts

Last week, things came to a head as we completed the third act. Patts rejected Nara in a moment that was genuinely sad and disappointing for both of them. Tai, spiraling in his own uncertainty about soulmates and his new relationship with Patts, decided to climb the mountain alone. Patts quickly realized what happened and organized a search. Tien panicked over feeling like he failed his brother, and was talked down by Lomfon. Patts is the strongest man in BL for locating Tai in the rain and then carrying him down a mountain on his back. Tai finally talked to Patts about everything, and the two have chosen each other whether they're soulmates or not. They are coming down the mountain as boyfriends. Also, Lomfon seems to have experienced sudden onset hearing loss and seemingly hears Tai and Patts.

Oh no, Tien was really worried about Lomfon.

Bestie and I had to pause. We thought "Wonderwall" lyrics were on his shirt.

Patts knows something is up with Lomfon and he has not forgotten.

Tai finally took a shower. Call Mr. Rogers. We need a new sweater.

Bow and Kung are so close now. I just know they FUCKIN'.

Everyone else is excited to finally relax and release the tension in a party, and Lomfon is BROODING.

Bow dragged Kung right off of Lomfon.

I like the camera work, but Truth or Dare only causes problems.

Patts is absolutely ready to deck Lomfon.

Two whole bottles? My man!

I absolutely love the kindness and grace this show consistently extends to Nara. They treat her relationship with Patts as sincere and important. This is really lovely.

They even allow Nara to grieve the love she lost. I love this show.

See! Tai is not a bad pet owner! He left Duer with his brother!

Tai and Bow are so funny. This is the second time Tai has cut her work his eyes.

Patts stay ready when Lomfon is around.

Tai and Tien are my favorite brothers.

Wait. Was Patts their neighbor??? Is this hinting at a proximity thing about the rain??

Saengnuea was probably looking forward to doing the big brother thing with Tai's boyfriend.

Oh my god. Patts was the pen pal. He had no reason to be kind to Saengtai, and now look at them.

This grandma-supported courtship is beautiful, and I'm so sad and miss my grandmothers again.

This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

This was fantastic. I love how they respect Nara. I am now curious if Tai had some of those notes on the wall and Patts recognized them. This is probably about to be my favorite BL of all time.

[prometheusinitiative]

Chapter 2 Execution | Reprise

Behind Ivette, a maw opens wide and snaps shut.

Ivette is gone, but not for long.

When her screen flickers back to life, Ivette stands in a long line of hedges. The hall stretches before her and behind her endlessly, and so she walks.

She walks and walks and walks, and each soft breeze that blows through the leaves sends them tinkling like wind chimes. The plants, though each a perfect fractal, are inorganic leaves of glass and mirror, reflecting infinite space above. There is no moon, none of these stars are familiar, and Ivette can't help but feel like the labyrinth itself watches them.

The hedges twist and turn and spiral. They go up and down, creating stairways to nowhere and impossible loops, imposing dead ends or creating doorways where there had been none before. The leaves close sharply against uninvited attempts at passing through and rearrange themselves to push Ivette where it desires. The labyrinth guides its guest.

When Ivette finds the center, so, too, does she find the ouroboros. It writhes in the clearing around a sundial, twisting and looping together. Thousands of millions of eyes blink, each viewing its own world, and hundreds of thousands of heads turn towards Ivette. The serpent does not eat her. Instead, it bows its many heads and dutifully finds a tail for each, and the serpent begins to swallow.

It may be an eternity. It may be seconds. In the Domain of Infinity, the two are the same, and result in the same: nothing more than a garden snake choking down its own tail is left upon the sundial face.

Jules is there. They have never been there, and have always been there, but neither matters as they climb the steps to the snake. They take it in their hands, cupping it tenderly, and bring the serpent to their mouth.

Jules swallows.

Finally, they turn to face their guest.

Jules smiles.

(Art by Stevie)

"Hi, Ivie."

Ivette stands there poised, as always. Statuesque.

"Hello Jules. "I hope we did a good job. Was it painless?"

They sit, elbows resting on their knees, and nod.

"Mm. More or less. I was very much unconscious."

Jules watches Ivette.

"I'm disappointed that I'm... well, I'm dead dead, but not even dead enough to be gone for good."

They lift their hand, beckoning Ivette closer, and leave their palm extended towards her to take.

"So it seems. Perhaps this is the timeline that was meant to be. No more loops." 

They beckon over, trusting. Ivette’s hand snakes its way onto Jules’. Slowly. Tender. 

"No more loops,"

Jules repeats back, their fingers closing around hers.

"You'd think that would make me happy."

They laugh weakly, their gaze falling to the ground.

They're quiet, but eventually give Ivette's hand a squeeze and let go.

"Well. Plan B, then. Don't let all my hard work go to waste. I spare you. "Kick some fucking ass, Ivette."

Ivette gives them a playful sort of smirk.

"Don't you worry, Jules. I'm going to kick that dome's ass." 

A pause. 

"Everyone cares so much about you. I'm sorry it had to be you... for everything that happened in the past and everything that will happen in the future. I am sorry."

Jules' smile is bittersweet.

"I've already forgiven you."

Forgiveness? Did they deserve forgiveness?

JULES LO spares IVETTE BOHEN.

[pastelcheckereddreams]

A really angsty Tay-centric fic idea has just walked into my head and set up camp 👀

I see a beautiful man, I want to make him cry.

And Vegas is going to do it for me.

[itsclydebitches]

Rewatching RWBY there's this chilling lack of empathy through the volumes that I used to just wave off. Yang has no empathy for Tai, Blake is just entirely about what Blake needs, Weiss almost kills a woman at a party and her takeaway is 'my dad is mean so I'm going to run away'. Qrow sinks hard into depression in vol. 6 and Ruby's reaction is to yell she's never needed him. No one has EVER helped a civilian. It's so prevelant. Knowing how 7&8 go really changes the earlier writing.

I think there was a great deal of well-written empathy in the early volumes — after all, this cast was designed as the kind, well-meaning heroes — but that care was expressed almost solely within the group itself. Ruby sits by Jaune in the hallway and says "Nope!" to his self doubt. Weiss offers Ruby a hand up after she fails to kill the death stalker. Yang seeks out Blake and gets her to open up about what's bothering her. Now, I want to emphasize that there's nothing inherently wrong with this. It actually makes perfect sense. These are our main characters and they're written as peers co-habiting the same space. Of course whatever emotional growth we get, which automatically includes moments of compassion, would be directed towards each other. Similarly, the dynamics originally introduced — that of teachers and parents — likewise (rightly) puts the burden on the adults to provide the comfort, not the other way around. Port snaps Weiss out of her arrogant mindset. Ozpin reassures Ruby about her leadership worries. Tai is there to support his daughter when she's recovering from a lost limb. That's the natural order of things, so to speak.

The problem, to my mind, begins to occur when the group exits those dynamics. They're no longer students, they're licensed huntsmen. They're no longer kids, but equals who never needed adults in the first place. They're no longer doing things for themselves and their friends on personal downtime, they're doing them for the community at large as a profession (to say nothing of the world-altering war they've insisted on shouldering responsibility for). That's what a huntsmen is meant to be, a defender of the people, not someone who uses that power for personal interests alone. All of this is a huge change from where we started out: cutesy kids going off on comparatively low-stakes adventures because one or more of their teammates are invested, only just beginning to realize that they're signing up for a job where their desires come second (that fireside conversation at Mountain Glenn).

This change invites — demands, really — that the audience read them differently too. Qrow's spiral in Volume 6 is a good example of this. If Ruby is demanding to be treated not just as an equal in terms of maturity and experience, but also as the primary leader of this group, then the viewer expects her to treat her uncle as an equal too, not dismiss his hardship. I've seen numerous fans defend that arc with some version of, "He's her uncle. He's supposed to take care of her. He's failing" but that, according to the show, is no longer the dynamic. Qrow is now just a member of Ruby's team, someone she's responsible for as their leader. It's easiest to see the problem if we switch out Qrow for any of the other members. If Blake developed a drinking problem, do we think Ruby would just shout at her until she magically got over it? If Jaune endangered the group, do we think they'd all be angry about it, rather than trying to figure out the source of what caused the mistake? We don't even need to think hypothetically for that one because we saw it on screen. Jaune attacked Oscar and drove him off, not just threatening him, but arguably endangering the whole team by requiring a search party. Fans have long insisted they had to steal that airship right then because being in Argus was too much of a risk, but if we buy that reading (which I personally don't, but), then that means Jaune made things exponentially worse by forcing them out into that super dangerous city, rather than allowing everyone to stay hidden inside. He made a massive mistake which, according to the logic of Qrow's arc, should be met with frustration, disdain, and eventual demands to get over his anger at Ozpin or ship out. But, of course, he received nothing but concern. Yang was worried about him, not Oscar. The search becomes about his grief for Pyrrha and his team's willingness (as well as Pyrrha's family member) to provide more comfort. Suddenly, the tendency to express care solely towards those within the group becomes a flaw the story won't acknowledge.

And then it spirals. The thing to remember is that no single act here is bad on its own, especially when we consider that yes, we want flawed characters. Rather, it's about the pattern. Ruby is allowed to get mad at Qrow for his behavior and chuck her scroll in frustration. She's human. I'd be crazy frustrated too. However, if Ruby is meant to be written as a caring, sympathetic character, she should not only respond to the situation with frustration, yelling, a refusal to listen, and demands that he follow her lead, no questions asked. We can, and should, acknowledge that Weiss was the victim during that party. Her father was hurting her, the woman was beyond insensitive, Weiss was triggered in regards to a horrific event, and her power acted on its own. However, if we want to write Weiss as a compassionate, mature huntress to-be, she should acknowledge that she nearly killed someone — even an asshole someone — and vow to work on her control because she's not willing to put someone in danger like that ever again. Both of these moments have a "They could have been handled better" response attached to them — the former more-so than the latter imo — but these moments are made far, far worse due to later events in the show, events where the characters are cruel without any justification attached. Weiss didn't mean to attack that woman, but she did mean to ignore Whitely and threaten him with her weapon. So once we see that, it informs our understanding of what came before it. "Oh. The fact that Weiss never reacted to nearly killing someone isn't just a bit of missed potential, it's an early indicator that she... doesn't seem to care. If she endangers people, threatens people... that's fine with her." The group has a right to be frustrated with Qrow. The group did not have the right to magically steal Ozpin's entire life story, assault him, and blame him for the world's problems until he felt his only course of action was to run from them. So when we see that it becomes, "Oh. The fact that the group treated Qrow so poorly isn't just a one-time mistake born of a stressful situation and young adults being out of their depth in regards to alcoholism. They really will just abandon anyone the moment they start making mistakes." Anyone outside of their group, that is.

To say nothing of how all of these moments interconnect. Yang's recovery isn't just about getting used to not having an arm, it's about getting used to having a new one. Weiss' party isn't just about nearly killing someone, it's about not committing manslaughter because someone else stepped in. The Volume 6 arc isn't just about trying to escape with the Relic, it's about trying to get it somewhere safe. Fans frustrated with Ironwood's treatment don't harp on these details out of some desperate attempt to make him look good post-murder spree, rather, they recognize that he's a character that's been around since nearly the beginning, originally written as a good guy, and thus has accumulated a number of key connections with the cast. So when none of those connections are acknowledged during an arc about trust... that makes the group look very uncaring. Yang doesn't care that he gave her the arm, Weiss doesn't care that he saved her from hurting/potentially killing someone, Qrow doesn't care that he's trusted Ironwood for years (in a rival-bros way) and that they've been heading towards him this whole time. And when Ironwood begins to spiral, they don't do anything to try and help him, let alone acknowledge that their own choices, that lack of trust and empathy, had a hand in getting them here. "But it's not their responsibility to fix him!" Isn't it? Even a little? Just as human beings seeing an ally struggling under horrific decisions and circumstances? Sure, they don't have to try... but that doesn't make them look very heroic to my mind. And we can't even shrug that off by simplifying things with, "Well, Ironwood is evil now so who cares about him." They simultaneously don't care about finding Qrow who is missing, then captured. They don't do anything to try and find their missing teammates, with the exception of sending May to do it instead. They don't help the army fight off the grimm. Don't try to make sure Pietro and Maria had portals to escape through. Barely hesitate when the newly resurrected characters goes, "Kill me. That's the easiest thing for everyone." And these are just a few of the big ticket moments. It doesn't even begin to cover all the details we get that paint a picture of, "Wow okay. They just really don't care about people outside the group, huh? I mean, they say they do, in a life-or-death way, but they're not putting forth effort to show it on a daily basis."

And if you pick up on all that, if you acknowledge how much the group has changed based on where they started out, you might wonder when in the world that started. Surely we didn't just flip a switch around Volume 6. So you re-watch early stuff and, sure enough, there are moments that feel like setup for what's to come later. Not intentional setup (quite obviously), but a lack of care towards details across the series that, once the dynamic changed, became far, far more pronounced. Characters should be at least somewhat recognizable from start to finish, especially characters who have only experienced about two years of in-world time, so if we now get to see Ruby blandly commenting on all the people who are dying, or Weiss using her weapon as a means of coercing her little brother into doing what she wants, or Yang and Jaune dismissing Ren until he gives in to their point of view... we're going to look for the beginnings of that behavior early on. As you say, we were able to wave all those little details off due to a number of important factors. Now though? Now they feel like they hold a lot more weight, simply by virtue of that early material proceeding what we have now.

[haikyuuuuuhypeeeee]

Ch. Twenty Two

⚠WARNING: Hospitals, mentions of hospital treatments (ethical and unethical - it is just speculated, there is no graphic descriptions nor is there any unethical hospital treatments used on any characters.)

• ────── ✾ ────── •

You're folding the picnic blanket when you think to turn your phone back on.

Oikawa, Mattsun and Makki are discussing their plans for the rest of the day - they want to keep reminiscing and there’s talks of pulling out yearbooks and photos. You let them plan, knowing you’d be on board with whatever they want.

Your phone fully comes on, and a text pops up immediately.

Your heart plummets in your chest. You quickly unlock your phone and call Kita immediately. You don’t want to wait long before he picks up.

“Hello Y/N-san.”

“Kita,” you reply. Your throat feels dry as a desert. “What’s wrong, is Osamu okay?”

“Yes, Osamu is okay and not in any immediate danger.” He is quick to quell your fears, not wasting any time with pleasantries. “His fever intensified after he woke up so we brought him to the hospital. He was admitted in the later morning, but the doctor is confident that with plenty of medicine, fluids and rest Osamu will be fine.”

You sigh. “Thank goodness. I’m glad he’s okay.”

There’s a slight pause before Kita replies. “Yes, as are we.”

You didn’t like that pause. Nor the way he phrased his response.

“Kita, what’s wrong?”

There’s another pause before you hear a sigh. Then Kita speaks. “Osamu was admitted for his fever. But he is going to remain in the hospital under psychiatric watch.”

Your heart drops to your stomach. Out of the corner of your eyes you’ve noticed your friends paused in their cleaning efforts and are giving you concerned looks.

“What?” You whisper. “What does that mean?”

“It was at the advice of the in-house psychiatrist that Osamu remained until his parents could talk about next steps, and Osamu agreed. His parents are less than an hour away - we contacted them last night when we came to Osamu’s apartment. He is not a threat to himself at this time but during this limbo they want to keep him under watch.”

Kita speaks in his soothing, calm voice you’ve gotten familiar with and his words are meant to reassure you. But you’re scared, very scared. All you can picture is Osamu locked in a room, alone and chained up and scared. The vision makes you grip your chest.

“I know this is a lot to take in,” Kita says over the phone. “Aran, Suna and I are at the hospital right now. We’re going to greet Osamu’s parents and stay for however long we can remain useful. You are more than welcome to join us.”

“I’ll be there,” you answer immediately. “I’ll be there soon.”

You hand up the phone and finally turn to your friends. They look extremely worried.

“This morning Osamu woke up with a really bad fever and he went to the hospital. I guess the psychiatrist wants to keep him there for observation.”

“Observation?” Makki repeats. “What does that mean?”

“They think he could hurt himself.” Mattsun says quietly. Makki blanches.

Oikawa steps up. “Are you okay?” He asks quietly.

You stare at him, trying to figure out your emotions. “I don’t know,” you say truthfully. There’s really only one feeling you have. “I’m worried about Osamu.”

Your voice breaks on Osamu’s name and Oikawa pulls you in for a hug.

“Are you going to the hospital?” Mattsun asks.

You hesitate, despite giving Kita your affirmation not even five minutes ago. You want to go, and be there for Osamu. But today is for Hajime, and you want to be there for your friends.

“You should go,” Oikawa tells you. You look at him in surprise. He planned this whole day and wanted to spend it with everyone - yes that’s when he was being a bit more of a dictator but you’re still surprised to see his change of heart.

“Iwa-chan would want you to support your friends, all of your friends.” He gives you a small smile. “Go, but text us updates.”

You nod, smiling at him. You turn and start to walk away, but the quick thought of deserting your friends makes you pause.

When you turn around all three of your friends are waving their hands at you. “Go! It’s fine!” Oikawa calls.

You laugh quietly, then turn and run to the bus stop.

The ride to the hospital is short, quick and uneventful. Your mind is whirling and you’re barely paying attention. You spare enough attention to know when to jump off the bus and run into the hospital lobby, dodging other people. As you scan the area you immediately find Kita, Aran and Suna tucked in a corner. Kita stands from his seat as you approach, as does Aran. Suna remains in his seat, exhaustion having taken over his features. Aran also looks defeated, but Kita’s calm and collected expression keeps you from spiraling too much.

“How is he?” You ask as you get within earshot.

“There are no updates since our phone conversation from earlier.” Kita replies. He offers the plush seat next to Suna and you gingerly sit. “All we know is that his fever has gone down and he checked himself in for voluntary watch under self-harm precautions.”

The reminder makes you flinch, still shaken by the events. Kita reaches an arm out to your shoulder. “It will all be okay. We should have some more answers soon - the Miyas should be here any second.”

“Shin-kun!”

He barely finished his sentence when a voice called out, making Kita turn to the entrance. Two more people are rushing to your group, a man and a woman. You immediately peg them as Osamu’s mom and dad - besides the fact that you knew they would be joining you all, the woman has the same eyes as Osamu. Now they’re tight with worry and apprehension as she throws her arms around Kita.

“Thank you so much for calling us!” She tearfully cries with her arms wrapped around Kita. The father is currently hugging Aran, both holding onto each other tightly. “I’m so glad we were able to get here so quickly.”

“It was nothing.” Kita answers calmly. The mother jumps over to Aran to give him a hug while the father hugs Kita. Both parents turn and give Suna a big squeeze, sandwiching him between them.

Kita continues talking. “In fact, Y/N here was the one who helped us find Osamu.”

Both parents turn to you, making you freeze in your seat. You swallow thickly, standing up quickly.

“Uh, hi. I’m Y/N. I’m a friend of Osamu’s here in Sendai.”

It’s quiet for another second before the woman launches herself at you. You feel your eyes widen but you’re able to move your arms in time to catch her.

“A friend, oh thank you, thank you!” She is nearly sobbing while clutching onto your figure. “I thought my Osamu was alone in the city, but you’re his friend.” You feel tears on your neck as Osamu’s mom starts crying, but you do your best to pat her back and comfort her.

“Osamu is one of my very good friends,” you say as the mom pulls away. “He means a lot to me.”

She gives you a tearful smile while Osamu’s father speaks up. “If you don’t mind me asking how did you two become friends?”

“It was a random meeting,” you say, not necessarily lying. “But we became good friends because we’ve both lost someone close to us.”

The father’s eyes soften while his face falls ever so slightly. He steps forward and opens his arms. “Can I give you a hug? I like to ask, seeing how my wife just jumps right in.”

You smile but step in for a hug as well. It’s warm and all encompassing, and you feel a bit of tension release from your shoulders. “I’m very sorry for your loss.” He says before pulling away.

“Thank you.” You say earnestly. “And I’m sorry for your loss also.”

He nods. “I’m sure you know how important it is to talk to someone about this, even if you’re just talking to a friend. Having that support is immeasurable. So thank you for being Osamu’s friend.” He gives you a smile. “It means more to me than I can explain.”

You’re slightly taken aback with how genuine he sounds, but you nod all the same. “It was the same for me.”

The dad gives you a smile before his wife comes up to him. “Kita told me we can go see the doctor and Osamu now.”

The father nods at her, giving you a smile before departing. As they walk towards the elevators you see him wrap his arm around his wife’s shoulders and hold her tight.

“Oba-san asked us to stay at the hospital if we could.” You turn and see Kita standing by his chair. Aran has sunk down into his and Suna already looks fast asleep, long legs sprawled out in front of him. “You are more than welcome to stay, but I don’t know how long we will be here.”

“I’ll stay,” you answer. You sit back in your seat next to Suna, feeling the wariness of the day catch up to you. You might copy Suna and let your eyes drift close for a bit. You know it’ll be awhile before you hear anything from Osamu anyway.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

A/N: I like to think that Kita's typo in his text is because he's stressed out, not because I made a typo when writing this.....anyway, finally we meet Osamu's parents! They're are absolutely lovely people and I can only imagine the pain they've been through in the last few months. Thank you all for reading!!

Taglist Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to It’s [Not] Okay Fic & SMAU (bold cannot be tagged): @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @roro-707 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @cerealfrdinner797 @ara-mitsue @gray-444 @tanakasimpcorner @rintarovibes @jellien @everytimeswift @bongofrito @babucrow @beidouluvr @kozuken-ma @imarriedachef @badkarma-a @reina-de-tay @meianshugoswife @creepykawass

[baeddel]

uzumaki spoilers [again, read Uzumaki first]

i think we are licensed to say that Ito was influenced by Lovecraft when making Uzumaki. he has described Lovecraft as an influence himself, and he makes a comedic reference to the Mountains of Madness in one of the self-insert skits. the infohazard theme that was important in Lovecraft is an important theme in Uzumaki. but it’s interesting to see how they differ. Lovecraft was worried about humanity; the limits of human rationality, the development of the human species, and the fragility of human civilization. for Lovecraft only white men have access to rationality, so only white men can understand the horrors that lesser men bring into existence; this is alluded to in Pickman’s Model (“I’ve got a place that I don’t believe three living Nordic men besides myself have ever seen...”), and is implicit in stories like the Mound. Lovecraft’s protagonists are white American academics, scientists and artists who use their superior reason to uncover the horrible truths of the universe which humanity had until now been too primitive to witness. when they do reach beyond the veil they go mad, catatonic, chittering, or else kill themselves. lesser men mistake what they see for gods and make cults to them with obscene practices, or else degenerate into subhumans.

when Ligotti takes up the same things he uses similar characters and similar devices but with new coordinates. his refernces are not racial scientism and theosophy but structural anthropology and German idealism. the horrible wisdom of the world was not out of reach of Ligotti’s humanity but inescapably evident to it; all of our discourses and social institutions are ruses and devices through which we can hide from it. his protagonists uncover the truth because they are curious, knowledge-hungry fools. impulsively following the intellectual riddles that preoccupy them they disturb things that were better left alone. if they leave with their lives then they find their own way to avert their gaze and put the truth away.

in Uzumaki i think the relevant comparison is shūyō, self-cultivation. virtually every strain of East Asian discourse (religious, philosophical, etc.) has some version of this. what it means to cultivate yourself varies according to tradition but you should have the idea from the name. it’s about developing one’s learning, one’s habits and morals, or one’s te, inner power. everything from Buddhist meditation to martial arts to alchemy to keeping a rock garden is built on a theory of self-cultivation. while self-cultivation isn’t uncommon, there is an expectation that a very cultivated person will be strange (especially outside of Confucianism). sages are different from ordinary people; people can’t understand them, they have a different sense of right and wrong from other people, etc.

the first character in Uzumaki who has any idea about the spiral horror is Suichi’s father. he has renounced everything and devoted himself to the spiral; he spends all of his money on spiral merchandise and sits in his room staring at them. he learns, just by looking at the spirals, how to work miracles; he can move his eyes independently, extend his tongue unnaturally and curl it up, and finally extends and twists up his whole body into a spiral. he achieves a sort of twisted immortality in the spiral. you can easily read this as a dark paroday of self-cultivation; he is a middle-aged man who gets taken by fanciful ideas and spends a lot of money on it. it could as easily be green tea or anything else. his contortions are like a sort of evil tai chi.

Suichi is the second character who knows about the spiral horror. he knows, perhaps, more than his father; he knows how terrible it is. he withdraws from the world, sits alone in his home and does not eat. he rejects whoever comes to him except his lover-disciple; he teaches her how to avoid the spiral, though she cannot learn from him. he is one who has “drowned in the midst of dry land.”

Suichi’s father introduces Yasuo, Kirie’s father, to the spiral horror. he calls pottery “the art of the spiral,” a phrase Kirie’s father repeats for the rest of the manga. he turns his pottery into a form of spiral-cultivation. yet unlike Suichi’s father he doesn’t kill himself doing so. he listens when his family express their troubles and he goes on working on it quietly; he functions well even in the finale when everyone else is losing their minds.

when we get to the bottom of Dragonfly Pond we collect the fruit of cultivation. correct me if i’m wrong but i don’t think we see Suichi’s father in the underground structure at all. he remains in Kurôzu-cho, in the mud, the trees and smoke. Yasuo joins the tangle of bodies and is petrified next to his wife. Suichi basks in the light of the spiral without being petrified; he embraces Kirie and they become a spiral together in a happy infinity.

Uzumaki contains something of a self-cultivation manual. it shows us three sages, but also three lovers, and their different routes to immortality and also love. Suichi’s father cultivates himself excessively; he achieves a restless immortality within a few days but he never learns the truth of the spiral. as a lover he neglects his partner, and then calls to her from hell. he drives her insane and then condemns her to share his fate, all the while she begs him to stop. i don’t know about a Japanese parallel but in the Daoist system you would say that he shattered his shen and lost his vitality. Yasuo cultivated himself slowly, doing a little bit every so often by gathering the clay and firing it. he listened to his wife’s concerns and moderated his practices. he and his lover were petrified by the light of the spiral below Dragonfly Pond. as he lived a normal life, he met the same fate as the townsfolk. now Suichi: where common people are mesmerized by the spiral, and the other sages sought to harness it, Suichi rejected it. he withdrew from society into a reticent life of skeptical contemplation. he advised and mentored his lover so he could protect her from the spiral horror. thus he united with his lover and became immortal with her. it was because he rejected the spiral that he found a peaceful immortality in it.

interestingly we already find a lot of what we like about Bloodborne’s use of Lovecraft in Uzumaki. whereas in Bloodborne the Cthulu cult and its horrors are carried out not by primitives but by the Church, the hospital, and the repressive organs of the state, in Uzumaki it’s done by fathers, teachers, doctors and so on. whereas in Bloodborne it takes the form not of shamanistic religion but revealed faith and academic science, in Uzumaki it takes the form of self-cultivation. and in Bloodborne we also find a sort of practical-philosophical manual which stands along with the best tetsugaku, with its own failed sages (Micolash’s delerium, Rom’s ignorance) and ultimate successes (the Hunter in the third ending).

[lovecolibri]

If they really couldn't stop the argentinian telenovela need just to break b/t they could have done the same with buck kissing like anyone in the bar or start to sleep around, making him cheat while still in a relationship with a coworker is taking buck's 5 years arc and burn it. And it's wonderful how so many people when the b/l almost kiss stills went out were "no buck'll never cheat"to the ones worried about b/l, but now they say it's great writing, everything to justify the writers

Literally there is no reason for her character to exist as part of the 118. They didn't need to "replace" Eddie, they already had! Ravi was not on their shift in season 4 (he's leaving when he "jinxes" them, and they're getting dressed to start a shift while he looks to be getting ready to leave in treasure hunt), but when Chim left, Eddie took over for him, and Ravi came on their shift to cover for Eddie. So with Eddie gone, they only ever needed Jonah on A shift, and whoever captained the other shift(s) or the station chief would be responsible for filling Ravi's slot, probably with a new probationary firefighter.

All this to say, if they just wanted to break up Buck and tay kay there were easier ways, if they *had* to go the cheating route (they didn't), it could have been any bar rando and they could have made it clear Buck is Not Doing Well. But they didn't do that. One, because right now the show is focused on Eddie and Maddie not doing well, and two because clearly, given the ridiculous amount of focus and interviews and promo they did pushing this unnecessary character, they had a different purpose in mind for L. Unlike Lena who came in with a stamped expiration date, and unlike some bar rando they would need to make time and space for if they wanted to drag out the bt breakup (whyyyy it's been 84 years! We and Buck have all suffered enough!), they look to be trying to fully integrate L with the team.

Now, if this is for a spinoff, or just because KR is in charge and can't stand Buck not being paired with one of her self-insert characters but tay kay was tanking so she had to upgrade to tay kay 2.0-firefighter version, or if they wanted to fill out the team now in preparation for contracts being up and some actors maybe choosing to leave the show, who knows. But whatever the reason, the fact that everyone including casual viewers are already sick of her character and that's likely only going to get worse the more she's around (and if her scenes are mostly on calls they won't be able to cut them easily), I think we can call this experiment is a resounding failure. But that's what you get for dragging a beloved fan fave down in a cheating arc that no one wanted with a character no one cares about or is invested in so she's easy to hate, instead of focusing on the main characters everyone already loves and wants to see more of!

Does 911 do some great writing and bring things back around in satisfying ways? Absolutely! Buck Begins was never supposed to happen but when it did, they made a story that took 3 years of history for a character and made every single thing about him click into place. But it is a TEAM of writers and a TEAM effort, and they aren't perfect. Sometimes things don't land and it doesn't negate everything that came before it, or mean that a storyline can't end with a character in a place to move to a more interesting storyline because of it, but that also doesn't mean that EVERY choice they make is good, or well thought out, or that they may not have to take stock and shift the narrative part of the way through.

Could Buck end this season at the bottom of a spiral now that Maddie and Eddie are supposed to end in a better place and could that be a great set up for season 6? Absolutely! But did it HAVE to happen like this, bringing on some rando lady for the rest of the season and maybe next to take up time from seeing our mains interact with each other, and having Buck be a cheater while saying he's feeling free and alive with her? No! No it didn't! We still don't even know if that whole thing was about Buck spiraling! The interviews have certainly stated differently and the ga doesn't see it that way so if that was the intention, we're not seeing it yet. And maybe they'll make it more clear, maybe that's how they will course correct since they can't cut her scenes, but the ga barely bought that Buck was unhappy with his gf and chalked it up to bad actor chemistry because we haven't been allowed to see into Buck's head in ages. Bottom line, it might be fine, and fandom will fill in the gaps like we always do, but if the ga isn't on board and can't figure out what they're trying to do (which is the showrunner's job-getting that intention across), they're going to keep losing views and getting dragged online. Even the actors and people in charge said 5a was inconsistent and messy and it shows, so here's hoping the 5b L stuff isn't as bad as the interviews made it sound, and they figure their shit out before season 6. Namely, putting someone in charge who knows what they are doing, and cares about what is at the heart of the show. Hint, it's not teen-show dramatics, and side characters.

[13uswntimagines]

Uh Oh Spaghettios (Uswnt x Swift!Reader)

Request- Y/n Get's hurt in a game, Taylor Comes to the hospital to take care of her and the fans find out about Y/n.

Hey dudes, this is part 2 of a one shot series I have labeled A Swift Life that will follow the characters in this universe. I’ll list the other parts down below. I still haven’t decided if it’s going to be a purely Emily/reader endgame or a Soran/Reader endgame. If you have any requests or suggestions, please feel free to hit me up. I hope that you enjoy!

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

The smile that etched its way across your face when the ball found the back of the net for the 4th time was blinding. You sent the Australian bench a wink as you copied their own star forward’s signature backflip, being engulfed by your teammate the moment your feet were back on the pitch. The ref blew the whistle signaling that the first half was over, and you laughed as your team ruffled your hair during your walk back to the locker room. You were proving to be a problem like no other for the Australian team, and the dangerous looks crossing the defender's faces showed that they may not have the answer for how to shut you down.

Emily’s arm wrapped around you as you neared the tunnel, your cheeks flushed as she leaned in and placed a light kiss on your cheek.

“4 goals in 20 minutes, you would think the defenders went on break.” She joked, pulling you tighter to you. Your smile got impossibly wider.

“Well, not everyone can be as good as stopping me as you are.” You laughed, ducking your head as she kissed your cheek. You had really opened up to the team since you had finally told them about your family. You had become touchier with everyone, especially a blond-haired defender. You weren’t always good at voicing your thoughts, but the team was finding that you were much better at expressing yourself through body language and touch. Plus it helped that you were a secrete cuddle bug.

“Yeah kid, what’s gotten into you today? You’re like on fire,” Lindsey asked as she wrapped her arm around you from the other side.

“Taylor said that she was going to watch the game.” You shrugged, causing both women to laugh.

“She’s here?” Emily asked trying to untangle herself from you., her eyes frantically searching the stands for your older sister.

“She’s in New York, but she cleared her schedule enough to catch the game.” You said quietly, grabbing Emily’s arm and pulling it back around you. You understood that Taylor was busy, and it made you feel warm inside that she always did her best to watch your games. She had almost flown out to watch this game live, but you had insisted that she didn’t need to. It wasn’t like the game mattered in the long run, and you didn’t feel right pulling her from her own responsibilities when the stakes weren’t that high.

“She’s still worried about the fans?” Lindsey asked, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Hm, something like that. I think she just wants them to know me for my footie skills and for her name.” You mumbled. It wasn’t that you guys were hiding from the fans. You just hadn’t explicitly admitted that you were related. You were barely on social media as it was, so your public interactions were limited. Taylor was also trying to protect you. She knew that you were shy, and when the fans finally put two and two together, they would be more all over you than they already were.

“I’m surprised that they haven’t connected all the dots yet.” Lindsey snorted. If any fandom on the planet was going to figure it out, it was them.

“Yeah, they’re like the world's greatest detectives” Emily smirked, and you rolled your eyes. Sure they were good, but considering that half of the fandom was still ignoring the fact that the subject of her songs wasn’t brit boy, you weren’t really worried about them realizing that you were a major part of her narrative too.

“They’re not Batman,” You grumbled, mumbling a thank you to Alex when she held the locker room door open for the three of you. She nodded your way, a smirk set on her lips.

“No, you’re superman, flying around and scoring goals,” She said as you passed her, and you frowned.

“Does that make Emily her Lois Lane?” Alex asked, causing the entire room to burst into laughter, and your cheeks flushed.

“In her dream” Emily snorted, untangling herself from you and pushing you away lightly. You averted your eyes from Lindsey’s I’m sorry eyes and stared pointily at the floor. You missed the glares your teammates were sending towards the blond defender. It wasn’t a secret to them that you had a thing for Saucy Sonny.  They had bets going for who was going to make the first move and how long it was going to take for the two you to stop being oblivious.

“That’s enough ladies, we need to go over some things before the next half,” Jill interjected, before beginning to talk strategy. You knew that she was way out of your league, but hearing and seeing her disgust with the very idea of giving you a chance still hurt. You spent your halftime half-way listening to Jill drone on and on about positions and getting behind the defenders, while the other half of you was trying not to stare at Emily who was pointedly not looking your way.

Your thoughts were spiraling by the time you made it back onto the field, the playful atmosphere that you had stepped off the pitch with completely gone. You were distracted by the swirling idea that Emily would never want you in the way you so clearly wanted her. That you had been so stupid to even hope that she would give you the chance to prove that you could be a worthy partner.

From the time you were little, you had been told that it only takes a second of distraction for everything to go wrong. But here you were, waiting for Christen to take a corner kick, watching the way Emily was bouncing on her toes, rather than paying attention to the defender who was marking you. You didn’t see the ball flying in your direction, or the opposing defender that was leaping into the air to meet it. One moment you were looking at Emily and the next all you saw was black.

----------------------------------

Alex had had a perfect view of the collision from the bench. She saw your eyes following a certain blond defender and not the ball. She had seen the opposing defender leap into the air, her leg catching you in the side of the head. She had watched you fall to the floor, and Kelley rushing to your side. Emily had flipped her lid the moment she saw your unmoving form on the turf, screaming at the defender who had hurt you and earning herself a yellow card.

Alex was at your side the second the trainers had carried your unconscious body off the field and loaded you into the ambulance. She had held your hand all the way into the hospital, only letting go when the doctors wouldn’t let her into the back with you because while she was your team mom, you didn’t share any blood relations. She had been regulated to the waiting room, where the team had joined her after their victory over Australia.

“Does anyone know why there are about a million camera’s out in front of the hospital?”

“I think that would be our fault,” Taylor said, rushing into the waiting room, her blond girlfriend skidding to a halt not far behind her. Alex felt her shoulders relax at Taylor’s voice.

“Thank fuck you’re here. They won’t tell us anything because we’re not “family”” She

“Not family my ass, you guys spend more time with her than anyone else” Taylor spat, finally taking in the exhausted faces of your teammates, her eyes lingering on Lindsey and Emily’s red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. She wasn’t thrilled that you were going for someone (or multiple someones?), so much older than you, her protective instincts wanting her to make sure that you didn’t get taken advantage of. But on the other hand, they clearly cared for you deeply.

“That’s what I said, but it’s the policy or whatever” Kelley grumbled, pulling Taylor’s attention away from where Emily and Lindsey were curled together in the corner of the waiting room, both being comforted by Sam, Tobin, and Christen.

“Let’s go find the doctor babe,” Karlie said quietly, running a hand up Taylor’s back. Taylor sighed. There would be time to grill the two women who you may or may not be crushing on later. For now, your health was her first priority.

----------------------------------

The first thing you noticed was the incredibly annoying beeping coming from somewhere in the room. It was probably your roommate's alarm again. You couldn’t remember what time you had gone to bed last night, but all you wanted to do was sleep a little more and the annoying beep was preventing you from doing that. Why you had been paired to room with Becky for this camp, you didn’t understand. She was a total morning person while you loved to stay in bed all day.

“Turn it off.” You groaned, your eyelids fluttering. God the sun was bright this morning.

“No can-do kiddo,” The voice beside you chuckled, startling you. That wasn’t Becky’s voice or anyone from the team.

“Tay?” You asked groggily, attempting to turn your head to survey the room, but realizing that that was a terrible idea as a wave of nausea hit you. “Whoa”.

“Stay still babe,” Another voice said from beside Taylor, a hand resting on your chin to prevent you from wiggling around.

“Yeah, I’m here, so is Karlie,” Taylor whispered quietly, hovering over your face so you could see her. You winced, moving Karlie’s hand and trying to sit up on your own again. Alex (who was on your other side) and Taylor immediately jumped in to help you.

“What happened?” You asked, wincing as the pounding in your head increased for a moment as you settled back against the pillows.

“You scared the shit out of us” Kelley grumbled from beside Alex. A small smile etched its way across your face at the sight of the 4 women who were more like parents than siblings sitting by your side. The 4 women who always supported you, and only wanted you to be yourself.

“You got hit in the head really hard. Try not to move around too much. ok?” Taylor said, running a soothing hand through your hair. You pouted. If there was one thing that you hated more than anything else it was being forced to remain still.

“You probably have a concussion kiddo,” Alex added, grabbing your hand and running her thumb over the back of your knuckles.

“No not that. Did we win?” You asked anxiously. The last thing that you remembered was being ahead, and if the team had lost because you got hurt, you didn’t know what you would do. It would probably mean that your USWNT career was over.

“Of course that’s what you’re worried about,” Kelley sighed exasperatedly. You were going to have to learn that there were more important things in life than winning and losing. It was a little scary how much of your identity you based on your abilities on the pitch.

“Well did we?” You insisted, causing the women to chuckle again, Alex nodded and began to rub soothing circles on your shoulder again.

“I’ll find the game for you, just give me a second,” Karlie added, grabbing the remote control and beginning to flick through the channels to find the replay of the game.

“I’m going to go tell Em and Linds that you’re awake,” Kelley said after a few moments, rubbing your leg as she stood up and moved towards the door.

“They’re still here?” You asked, your eyes widening and your cheeks turning red.

“Trust me, kid, they’re not leaving until you do,” Kelley threw over her shoulder as she exited the room. The room was quiet for a few moments, the only sound being the soft murmur of the television. Karlie had changed the channel to the Sportscenter. You relaxed back into the bed, content to watch the commentators break down the game. Your breath caught in your throat as they played the collision again. It wasn’t watching the accident that made you freeze, but instead the photos of a very upset looking Taylor rushing into the hospital. You never wanted to scare or her them, and knowing that you did was really hard. You weren’t upset that the fans had figured it out, frankly, you were surprised that it hadn’t happened earlier.

“So I guess we should tell the fans that I’m not dead,” You mumbled after a few minutes, slowly turning to look at Taylor.

“You’re ok with them knowing?” She asked hesitantly, running the hand that was carding through your hair down your cheek in a soothing motion. You sighed into her touch. She wasn’t your mother, but she had always been nurturing towards you. She was the one who held you after a nightmare or a game that didn’t go the way you wanted it to. Your mom was a firm believer in tough love, sometimes too tough. She wanted the best for you, Austin and Taylor. That meant pushing you to your limits and expecting you to live up to the things your siblings had done. You knew your mother loved you, but Taylor was the one who filled the nurturing role for you.

“I’m not ashamed to be your sister Tay.” You whispered back, and she nodded. She never assumed you were. She knew her fans could be a little… much, and she had just wanted to protect you. Now you would be under an even brighter spotlight than you had been before.

“I never thought you were. I just wanted to make sure you were ready first.” She said back, placing a kiss on your temple. You hummed back, your eyelids fluttering. The fans were like a wave. You could watch from a distance and pretend you knew what you were getting into, but in all honesty, there was no way to prepare for them. You would have had to jump in sooner or later, at least now your teammates could post the videos of them annoying you with her songs online now.

“You know that this means that I get to talk about how awesome you are now right?” Taylor said with a chuckle, and you groaned. Taylor never wanted you to feel like you were in her shadow, and now that the fans knew she was related to you, she was going to take every opportunity to show them just how amazing you were. The fans were about to find out how big of a Y/n Swift stan she was.

[socialwriter]

For a Kook - Ptersparkers’ Writing Challenge

Gif credit to @popemaybank​

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Female Reader

Requested by @obx-direction-sos​ :  so the scene with “tell kiara she looks pretty hot for a pogue.” what about being on and off with rafe and jj is all like “tell y/n she looks pretty hot for a kook”

Summary: A dance with JJ leads to a jealous Rafe and a confession of feelings

1.9k+ words

TW: Cursing, fighting, jealous Rafe, self doubt/insecurity on reader’s behalf

A/n: Ok so this is a part of @ptersparkers​ writing challenge, and I really wanted to challenge my self so I wrote my first full on Rafe fic. Hope y’all enjoy <3

“Hey Rafe, could you help me with the zipper on this thing?” You shout out into the hallway of his house, awkwardly struggling with the zipper at the back of your emerald dress. You were already running late because your mother had made you help her redecorate the grand foyer of your house, and this dress was certainly not helping you make up on lost time. “Yeah su- woah.”

You turn around to see Rafe standing in the doorway of the guest room which you had been getting ready in, mouth slightly ajar. “What, did I smudge my eyeliner, I had an itch and I knew I scratched too hard damn it Y/n.” Before you can check your makeup in the mirror, Rafe places his hand on your shoulder, effectively stopping your rambling. “No, it's not that it's just..you look gorgeous,” he says, causing your face to heat and a blush to form on your cheeks, a sight he always loved to see. “Just zip the dress up lover boy.”

He complies with your command, zipping up the dress before grabbing the floral crown laying on the vanity and placing it on your head. You grin and turn to face him, feeling giddy about finally being ready to go before your eyes land on his neck. “Seriously, how do you still not know how to tie a bowtie Rafe?” He rolls his eyes, pretending to be offended by your comment, when in reality he had purposefully tied the bowtie poorly so that you would do it for him. He thought it was adorable the way your nose scrunched up in concentration when you tied it, and he didn’t mind being so close to you as well. Of course, he would never tell you that. Your relationship was complex to say the least, an unspoken agreement of exclusivity between the two of you even though your relationship had never been made official. Due to his relationship with his father, Rafe struggled with emotional vulnerability. Even though you two were certainly more than friends, he had an innate fear of rejection that kept him from telling you how he felt about you and making you officially his. 

“Rafe! Y/n! Hurry up, we’re already late!” You hear Rose shout out downstairs, so you grab Rafe’s hand and drag him to where the rest of his family is waiting. “Took you long enough,” Wheezie adds through a grin, causing you to roll your eyes and ruffle her hair a little. “Yeah yeah little nugget, I know.” The six of you all pile into a car and head off to the country club, where the Cameron family is supposed to make their grand entrance. 

Rafe had, somehow, convinced you to walk in with them on his arm, which you were now seriously regretting, considering it felt like almost everyone in the place was looking at you. Judging your dress, your hair, your flower crown, your body. You shrink into Rafe’s side, trying to make yourself appear just a little bit smaller, which he notices. “Something wrong love?” You nod timidly, your usually confident nature seemingly gone. “I feel like everyone’s staring at me,” you whisper, causing Rafe to frown. He places a lingering kiss on the top of your head before gently taking your chin in his hand, forcing you to look at him. “Of course everyone’s staring love, they want to catch a glimpse of the prettiest girl in this place.” You roll your eyes at his remark, feeling too self conscious to come up with a witty comeback.

“Tell you what. How about, for the rest of the night, the two of us hang out together. Dance, sneak a little wine or champagne, and forget about all the asshole socialites stinking up the place. How does that sound, princess?” Rafe’s proposal puts a small smile on your face, and you nod a little. “Sounds alright. You promise that's all that's gonna happen tonight?”

“Promise.”

---

Long story short, Rafe had not upheld his promise. After about two songs of you two dancing your hearts out, Ward had pulled Rafe away on some business. He had claimed that he would be gone for five minutes max, but that was over thirty minutes ago. Now you were currently sitting at a table near the dance floor, mindlessly stirring the ice cubes in your soda with your staw, when a hand comes into your peripheral vision. “Care to dance?” The voice of JJ Maybank asks you.

You lazily glance over at him, quirking a brow. “And what is the one and only JJ Maybank doing at the kook event of the season? I would assume that you’d hate stuff like this.”

“Some of us need to work to eat doll,” he quips back, though something tells you that’s not the reason why he’s here. “So, that dance?” You glance around one more time, and since you don’t see Rafe, you take the blond’s hand, standing and following him to the dance floor.

“So what's a pretty girl like yourself doing sitting here by yourself?” JJ questions, twirling you around. “I would’ve thought you’d be spending the night with your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” You respond, taking a step towards him again once you’ve finished spinning.

“Then what do you call you and Rafe.”

The fiery red blush on your cheeks is impossible to hide. Sure, you’d always had feelings for Rafe, and your relationship was far from a normal friendship, but did people really see you two as lovers? “Just dip me Maybank.” You mumble, and luckily he complies. 

---

Unfortunately for you and JJ, Kelce had spotted you two as soon as JJ had asked you to dance. Knowing you and Rafe were unofficially official, as well as wanting something interesting to happen before the night was over, he figured telling Rafe would both follow the bro code and likely start a fight. He found Rafe talking to some wrinkly old executive, telling the old man a half assed excuse about ‘business matters’ before pulling Rafe off to the side. “Listen dude, I think Maybank is trying to hit on Y/n or something, I saw the two of them talking by the dance floor.”

Thoughts are spiraling through Rafe’s head, but the thought that's the loudest in his mind at the moment is how he’s going to beat JJ’s ass. Fuming, he makes his way to the dance floor just in time to see JJ say something that makes you blush furiously and then dip you. He angrily makes his way over to the two of you, Kelce following close behind, and places a hand on JJ’s shoulder, spinning him around. “Was wondering if you could get me a mai tai my friend?” Rafe asks, venom coating each word. 

Seeing the steam fuming from Rafe, you gulp nervously. This couldn’t end well. “Rafe, JJ was just keeping me company while you were gone, there’s need to be upset.” You place your hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him down, but he just shrugs you off. Before you know it, JJ’s run off inside, and Rafe, along with Kelce and three other kooks, have all followed him inside. You helplessly look around for a moment for someone, anyone, that could help you. You certainly couldn’t fend of all five boys, and neither could JJ. Your eyes catch one of the security guards, and you figure that's your best bet at stopping Rafe. While you were worried for JJ’s safety, you were even more worried about Rafe. God knows what Ward would do if Rafe did anything stupid on tonight of all nights.

You tell the guard that there was a problem going on inside, and the two of you search the country club until hearing a commotion in the men’s locker. When you enter, you see Kelce holding JJ in a chokehold, Rafe rearing up to make a hit, and the other three kooks spectating, not doing a damn thing. “What is going on here?” The guard questions, even though it's quite clear to everyone else in the room. However, JJ, ever the smart ass, starts going on about ‘trespassing’ and ‘being escorted’, so the guard takes the pogue by the arm and the two men approach the exit. However, when JJ meets your eyes, a smirk forms on his lips, and you can tell that he plans on getting one final jab in at Rafe before he leaves.

“Hey Y/n, I really liked dancing with you tonight. Ya know you’re really pretty...for a kook.” 

Rafe lunges towards JJ, but before he reaches him, you step between the two boys, holding your hands up. “Rafe, please, don’t. It's not worth it.” Rafe growls, scaring you slightly, but you hold your ground. “Get out of my way Y/n so I can teach this little punk a lesson.” Luckily, when you glance behind you, it looks as though JJ and the guard had left the locker room, so you didn’t have to hold Rafe back anymore. “Do you want to maybe go outside and get some air?” You question, gently grabbing his hand. He lets out a deep breath but nods, and the two of you make your way out to an area at the front of the country club, away from the hustle and bustle of the events of the night.

“You shouldn’t have held me back. The asshole made a comment about you and he deserved what was coming for him.” 

You huff and shake your head, looking out at the greenery in front of the country club. “You know he just said that to wind you up. Why’d you even start the fight in the first place? You promised me that this would be a nice night, just the two of us.”

Rafe falters slightly, guilt suddenly flooding him. “I saw you two dancing together,” he mumbles under his breath.

“What?”

“I saw the two of you together. He said something that made you blush and was being all suave with you and I..got jealous.”

Glancing over at Rafe, you see him biting his lip, clearly nervous, and looking anywhere but at you. “Ya know Rafe,I wanted to be there, dancing with you.”

“Don’t lie to me princess.”

“Rafe look at me.” You grab both his hands, causing him to reluctantly look you in the eye. “When have I ever lied to you?” When he doesn’t answer, a small smile forms on your lips. “I never have, and never will. You wanna know what JJ said that made me blush so hard? He called you my boyfriend. And it caught me off guard, because Rafe, I’ve been in love with you for the longest time and f-” you’re cut off by Rafe smashing his lips against yours, but you quickly recover and return the kiss. It feels like fireworks are going off, and if you had to describe the perfect kiss, this would be it. All the passion and emotion between you two is expressed without a single word being said, your mouths doing all the talking. 

Eventually, you pull away, slightly out of breath. “Y/n L/n, I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Can we make whatever this is between the two of us official? So that I am yours and yours alone, and that you are mine?” He brings a hand up to cup your cheek, stroking the delicate skin with the pad of his thumb. Instinctively, you take your own hand and place it on top of his, relishing in the contact. “I would love nothing more.”

Tagging moots that are also Rafe hoes 😌: @normatural​ @sortagaysortahigh​ @softstarkey​ @stargazingstarkey​ @anonymous0writer​ @drew-starkey​ @drewsephsmiles​ @girlsru1eboysdroo1​ @jayjaymaebank​ @downbytheouterbanks​ @butgilinsky​ @queenk00k​ @letsgofullkook​ @jjmbanks​

[inkandpen22]

Young Hearts Divided (10/?)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female!Reader / James Potter x Female!Reader

Warnings: mild swearing 

Word Count: 1.6k

Part Summary: After Remus and Y/N have their heart-to-heart, something unexpected happens

Masterlist

"Y/N!" A third party shouts from the door below. 

Remus and I exchange glances of confusion at the sudden interruption. 

"Y/N!" The voice echoes again and this time I recognize it to be Sirius's. 

Swiftly, Remus and I rise from our positions to see what the fuss is about. Based on the urgent sound of Sirius's tone, I imagine this isn't him simply looking for me. 

Remus follows me down the spiral stairwell and I can hear the hurried pace of Sirius climbing them. We meet half-way and he wears a bewildered expression. He glances between Remus and me with confusion but doesn't make a remark as I excepted. Instead, he takes my hand starts to lead me down the stairs. 

"McGonagall came to the Common Room looking for you," he explains as we descend the tower to the door. "She wouldn't go into details other than that it has to do with your brother." 

Upon hearing Sirius's words, I don't hesitate to start sprinting out of the tower and down the hall. 

"Y/N!" Sirius and Remus call my name in unison. 

The boys struggle to keep up as I run full pace to McGongallas office as I'm sure that's where she's gone. My mind is racing with possibilities. Where is my brother? Is Danny okay? Who took him? Have they found him? 

Though it would be nearly impossible for me to not become tired after running from the Astronomy Tower to McGonagall's office on a normal day, currently I don't feel a thing. Remus and Sirius, however, are panting like dogs behind me when I enter her office. Sure enough, the professor is behind her desk with a fire going behind her. When she peers up and over her glasses from her grading, her face falters. 

"Miss Y/L/N, good. It appears Mr. Black was able to find you," she remarks satisfied as she rises from her chair. As she crosses the room, she raises her hand to gesture to the door. "You may wait outside gentlemen," McGonagall announces to Remus and Sirius. "Unless, of course, Miss Y/L/N prefers for you to stay?" 

All six eyes look to me for an answer and I become unintentionally short with them. "I don't really care who stays and who goes! All I want to know is the news about Danny!" 

Remus and Sirius flicker their wide-eyes to McGonagall, waiting for a response. Never in the history of Hogwarts has anyone ever spoken to McGonagall so rashly, maybe a Slytherin, but even then that's a long shot. 

I release a sigh and immediately feel apologetic. I didn't mean to snap at her, none of this is her fault. I'm just tired of the pointless dramatics and everyone looking to me for answers. Sometimes I simply want to answer 'I don't know!' 

"Very well," McGonagall replies calmly, despite my aggression. 

The woman presses her palm to my back and escorts me to sit in the chair across from her desk. She moves back to her seat and settles down. Remus and Sirius remain back by the door. Sirius leans against the wall with his arms crossed and Remus stands straight as though he's in a line-up. 

"Your brother, Miss Y/L/N, has been located," McGonagall reveals and a weight rises off my chest. 

My eyes fall shut as I lean back in my chair with a deep sigh of relief. At least we know where he is and thus we can do something now. Thank the universe he's alive. 

"But Miss Y/L/N, there's something else I must tell you," the woman speaks hesitantly. 

My eyes fly open and I stare at her sharply. Her tone worries me. The weight that disappeared has returned to me. She rubs her hands together in fists anxiously. I grip the handles of the chair to release some tension, but nothing seems to work. 

"What is it?" I press for her to continue. 

I hear footsteps behind me followed by a hand on my shoulder landing on my shoulder. I glance up and Sirius stands over me, his eyes locked on our professor. 

"What is it, Minnie?" Sirius repeats sternly, though I can see the worry hidden in his eyes. 

McGonagall frowns, clearly distraught, nearly sick to her stomach. When her eyes leave Sirius and land back on me, a chill shoots down my spine. This really isn't good. 

"He's dead, isn't he?" 

My tone comes out emotionless as though I'm asking a question in class and not something of this magnitude. I even surprise myself, along with everyone else in the room. I'm just so tired. I'm not sure I can take another blow. 

McGonagall shakes her head frantically. "No, no, I assure you Danny is alive and well. The concerning part is... Well... he wasn't taken." 

My brows scrunch together in confusion. "What do you mean?" 

"You see, your brother wasn't taken by the Death Eaters..." She drags out nervously. "He um... Well, we learned that he..." 

Comprehending what she's going to say, I start to shake my head repeatedly. "No, no, no," I stutter. 

Sirius moves forward to stand in front of me. "What?! What is it?" He glances between McGonagall and me. 

I rise from my seat and slowly start to the door as my eyes remain locked on the floor. She's lying! She has to be! Danny wouldn't, he could never be. Remus steps forward from the wall to help me toward the door. He presses his palm to my shoulder bland and lowers his head to my level to see my hidden face. Tears whelm up in my eyes and threaten to fall. It isn't true. It can't be true!

"Can someone please tell me what the bloody hell is going on?!" Sirius shouts. "Did I blackout and miss an entire minute of that conversation?!" 

"Shut up Sirius!" Remus huffs at his friend. "Come on Y/N, let's head back," he guides me gently. 

"Miss Y/L/N," McGonagall says my name pleadingly, completely ignoring Sirius. "You have to hear this, Dear! I have to make sure you understand the circumstances!" 

I whip my head around to face the woman I once considered as close to me as another motherly figure. Now... Now I don't know how to view her. The tears that threatened to fall do so freely down my cheeks. The expression on McGonagall's face is foreign to me. I've never seen her cry, but she may now. 

"My brother-" I hiss sharply through my teeth, "-is not a Death Eater. Anyone who calls him so is vile and I will gladly hex them to oblivion!" 

"Y/N!" Remus gasps quietly next to me. 

McGonagall stares me directly in the eye with parted lips of amazement. It's not every day a student threatens a professor. I would threaten Dumbledore himself if he were to cross my family. My parents raised me to care for all wizards and creatures. For someone to say that anyone in my family follows the Dark Lord is horrid. My brother could never do such a thing. He's my older brother, he loves me, wants what's best for me. He would never betray my family like that. 

"I think we should go," Sirius determines as he marches over to me. 

"Listen to reason, Y/N." McGonagall says my name calmly, dropping the formalities now considering the turn of events. 

"I assure you, I am," I bark disdainfully. "If you knew Danny as I do, you would know that this is nothing but wartime paranoia. He could never follow You-Know-Who!" 

"Let's go, Love," Sirius whispers to me, urging me out the door. 

Reluctantly, I follow their guidance down the stairs to the classroom. If I were alone, I would've blasted McGonagall to her fireplace mantel. 

"Keep walking," Sirius mutters in my ear. 

"He has the Dark Mark!" She shouts as the boys lead me away against my reluctance. 

Upon hearing her words, I turn over my shoulder and start back toward her office. Sirius's arms wrap around my waist and fling back into his chest. I fight him off and Remus moves to block my path. Well don’t these two have a nice little tag-team game going! 

"Y/N! Y/N, listen to me!"Remus repeats, cupping my face to force me to look at him. "Tune her out, okay! Everything will be okay! We’ll figure it out! You don't want to do anything rash!”

"You must know this, Y/N! For your own safety!" Our professor adds worriedly. 

"Remus if she keeps talking you're going to have to hold me back too," Sirius grunts as he struggles to drag me toward the corridor. 

"Believe me, I'm not too thrilled either and I usually side with the professors," Remus grumbles. "If you figured out what was going on sooner, maybe we could've gotten Y/N out of there!" 

"Oh yeah! Blame me for the chaos as per usual!" Sirius defends. 

"Usually it is you! 99% of the time," Remus scoffs. 

"Let me go!" I bark at Sirius, clawing at his forearms tight around my torso.

"Can't you do a spell to knock her out?!" Sirius speaks of me as if I'm not even here. "It's like trying to hold you back during a full moon!" 

I growl,"you pull out your wand Remus and I swear I’ll hex you!” 

Nervously, Remus switches his gaze between me and Sirius. I dig my nails into Sirius's arms to weaken his grip and the boy hisses. 

"Remus!" He barks. 

Remus sighs and looks to me apologetically. "I'm sorry, it's really for the best." 

"Remus I swear-" 

The boy removes his wand from his back pocket and makes a zig-zag formation with it. 

"Nighty-night, Love," Sirius mutters. 

In seconds, my vision goes black. 

_______________________________

Masterlist 

Tags:  @hannah220506 @agirlwholovescoffee @a-classic-eye @devilstradegy @blackbirddaredevil23 @tay-mariee @blackpinkdolan @findzela @emilianamason @missryerye @loonyslytherin

[toxoiddiamond]

T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Ryoga Zaizen Nicknames: Ryo Age: 38 Birthday: September 5th Zodiac Sign: Virgo Birthplace: Hakodate, Japan Current Location: He recently moved to Gzira, Malta, after having lived in Yokohama, Japan for nearly thirteen years. Speaks: He is fluent in both Japanese and English. He is starting to learn Maltese, but can only have a very basic conversation at this point. Dominant Hand: Right Education: He completed junior high, but opted not to continue on to high school and started working instead so he could help out his family. Occupation: Voice actor, mostly in anime and video games. Most of his voice work is in Japanese, but he occasionally does some in English as well. Every once in a great while, he does some live action acting, but it’s not his preference. Vehicle: 2018 Peugeot 5008 SUV in navy blue. Worldly Possessions: Some very nice recording equipment that allows him to do his voicework from home. A small family altar that he doesn’t actually pray to, but likes having around for nostalgic reasons. Lots of toys and things for his kids. Lots of DVDs and blu-rays of various films of all genres, with a whole shelf dedicated to family-friendly movies and shows. Pet(s): He recently got a one-year-old Shikoku Ken, partly to try and distract his kids from all the upheaval and turmoil in their lives at the moment. He wasn't too sure about having a dog at first, but now he really enjoys having a pet. The dog's name is Kotaro, meaning "small boy."

A P P E A R A N C E Height: 6'1" Hair: Ryoga enjoys trying all sorts of different colors and styles with his hair. He's had just about every color of the rainbow in his hair at some point, and when he was younger he experimented with having super long hair, mohawks, all kinds of things. Nowadays he tends to keep it cut into a more sophisticated, conservative style, but he still enjoys dyeing it various colors. Currently it is a light blue-gray. Facial Hair: He prefers to be clean-shaven. Eye Colour: Dark brown Skin Tone: He enjoys spending time outdoors, so he isn't super pale or anything; he has almost an olive undertone to his skin. Clothing: Most of the time he dresses in a fairly casual manner; his go-to look is skinny jeans paired with a graphic tee and either Vans or combat boots. But he also cleans up very nicely when the occasion arises. He has a few suits in various colors, patterns and styles and they all look amazing on him. Ryoga has a good sense of fashion and always manages to dress perfectly for any occasion. Distinguishing Marks: He has tattoos– like, so many tattoos on his arms, hands, chest, back, legs, basically everywhere except his face tbh. Face Claim: Miyavi

H E A L T H Physical Health: For the most part, his health is pretty good– he takes good care of himself, exercises, eats well, etc, especially because he wants to set a good example for his kids. However, he has had mild issues with his heart ever since he was a teenager– he has a slight arrhythmia and bradycardia (slow heart rate), but has managed both conditions fairly well throughout his life. He has had to stay in the hospital a couple of times after his heart rate slowed enough to cause him to faint, but he now tries to stay active and take his medication regularly so it (hopefully) doesn’t happen again. Physical Abilities/Limitations: He has a lot of upper body strength, partly from working out and partly from carrying his daughter around all over the place. He is also surprisingly flexible and enjoys doing yoga and tai chi as a form of gentle exercise. He’s always been good at imitating people/doing impressions and putting on different voices, which is what eventually led him to becoming a voice actor. Addictions: He used to drink a lot, but completely gave up alcohol in his mid-twenties, around the time he got married. This was partly because he wanted to try and be a more responsible person, and partly because his doctor recommended that he give up, or at least cut way back, on alcohol for the sake of his heart. Allergies: Shellfish Mental Health: Ryoga is under a lot of stress right now, so he’s not at his best. He’s had a lot of anxiety over his (very messy) divorce, then a brutal custody battle (he ended up getting sole custody), and then having to get a restraining order against his ex-wife when she kept showing up at their home and trying to get the kids to come with her, then throwing fits when Ryoga stopped her from taking them. Now that they’ve moved to a whole other country, he feels a bit better, less nervous, but he’s still constantly worried that his ex is going to show up any day. He has done his best to drill it into the kids’ heads that if their mom shows up, they are not to go with her and they need to come get him or call the police right away.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Long or Short Job History: His first job was at a small, hole-in-the-wall beef bowl shop when he was fourteen– he started as a busboy but was quickly moved into a kitchen staff position. A couple of years later, he was scouted by a modeling agent and ended up falling into the world of fashion modeling. He wasn’t super famous or anything; he mostly modeled alternative/goth/street fashion rather than anything too mainstream. This allowed him to network with a lot of people who were able to pull some strings for him and get him auditions for voice work, and within a few years, he had transitioned fully into voice acting (which he is now actually pretty famous for– in Japan, at least). Fondest Memories: Some of his childhood memories, such as family trips, or evenings when everyone was home and actually hung out together instead of going to their separate rooms. His wedding day, which is bittersweet to look back on, but at the time was one of the happiest days of his life. The births of both his children. Various anime conventions he’s gone to– he loves meeting fans and talking to them. Worst Experiences: His father losing his job– it sent the entire family into a downward spiral of anxiety and Ryoga always felt he had to walk on eggshells around them. Having to skip out on high school so he could work and earn money to help his family. His parents being more than a little angry with him when he became a model, started getting tattoos, etc., since they thought he was “ruining his life.” His parents later disowning him when he told them he was dating a man. And, of course, the slow and painful death of his marriage which resulted in a very, very messy divorce.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: It depends on the situation. If he’s working or in a more professional setting, then he is very respectful, using only polite language. When he’s with friends, he’s louder and more outspoken, and far less polite– not that he’s rude, just that he has a bit of a mouth on him. With his kids, Ryoga is very laid-back for the most part, speaking calmly to them and keeping a patient, gentle tone. Even when he scolds them, he doesn’t raise his voice much, though he can be very firm when he needs to be. Accent: Ryoga has a noticeable Japanese accent when he speaks English, but it’s not so thick that it’s hard to understand him. He speaks very clearly and enunciates well. Favorite Phrases or Words: Tends to say “Aa! Sou?” when he’s surprised about something, which just means “oh, really?” Also tends to say “ehto” instead of “um” or “uh.” Usual Curse Words: He tries to watch his language when he’s with his kids, though he does slip up on occasion (and they always call him out for it). He does have quite a mouth on him though, both in English and in Japanese, and uses whatever curse word feels most appropriate for the moment.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: INFJ-T Sense of Humor: With his kids, he’s pretty goofy and silly, always joking around with them and keeping them entertained. He does a lot of voices that make them laugh. When he’s around adults, he’s more sarcastic but still on the goofy side more than anything. Habits: He is hardly ever barefoot– he always wears socks or house slippers when he’s inside. He tends to eat rice with every meal if possible, in some form or another, or else it doesn’t feel like an actual meal to him. If he’s wearing any nail polish or anything, he tends to pick at it whenever he gets nervous or stressed out. Quirks: Ryoga really enjoys treating himself to things like spa days, mani-pedis, massages, anything along those lines. He doesn’t do it all the time, but once a month or so he gets someone to watch the kids and just takes a full day to himself to relax. He also loves taking baths and keeps various bath salts and oils around so he can take a nice, long bath at home if he’s had a rough day. Fears/Phobias: Anything happening to his kids; he worries about them constantly. His ex-wife finding him and showing up, even though he has a restraining order against her. He also tends to be a bit secretive about his sexuality, after facing some backlash/discrimination for it in Japan– he’s not exactly afraid of anyone finding out that he’s bi, but there’s a reason why he doesn’t offer that information very freely. Strengths: Something Flaws: Something Hopes/Desires: Something Wildest Fantasy: Something Self-Esteem: Something Religion: Something

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Something Boxers or Briefs?: Something Day or Night?: Something Top or Bottom?: Something Partying or Relaxing?: Something

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: Something Relationship History: Something Sexual Partners: Something Thoughts About Sex: Something

P A R E N T S Name(s): Mom and Dad Age(s): Ages Social Standing: Blue collar, white collar, whatever Occupation(s): What they do Religion: What do they believe Quality of Relationship With His Children: Is good or bad? Living/Deceased: Maybe they dead

S I B L I N G (S) Name(s): First Last Age(s): Ages Social Standing: Blue collar, white collar, whatever Occupation(s): What they do Religion: What do they believe Quality of Relationship with Character: Is good or bad? Living/Deceased: Maybe they dead

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: Where they live

[bisluthq]

It’s your kaylor historian here who still can’t remember my log in details to my KH account 🤦‍♀️ (so please make sure this anon just in case it isn’t... I fear them 👀)

Karlie’s tea post before masters heist:

Ok so I can’t remember who posted first and don’t feel like looking, but taylor posted a selfie and captioned it “Friday calmness” and we (kaylor fandom) had been speculating taylor was going to come out as bi on the last day of June / 🌈pride month🌈 since she’d been doing so much stuff that could be seen (and was) as queer coded. We celebrated the “Friday calmness” thinking it was like a ‘calm before the storm’ with the storm being her coming out.

I think Karlie posted after taylor, but am not 100% sure. Karlie posted a selfie with a cup with a caption like “what’s the tea” and the fandom, thinking they were still together, collectively lost our shit. It looked to us like Karlie was playing off Taylor’s post. (I’ll admit, I didn’t think kaylor were still together, but that weekend I was thinking ‘I can’t believe I doubted them!’ Lol)

*there were also rumours that the YNTCD video and single were delayed a couple of times and meant to be released sooner and serve as a soft coming out, but that taylor kept changing her mind about it and is also why she kept the tracklist length under wraps, because she wasn’t sure if she’d go through with it. She was way more vague than ever before. There were also rumours she had a rolling stone cover planned that she was going to come out in but it was scrapped —— I can’t even remember where these “she’s actually coming out” rumours originated anymore and I can’t remember if people had legit sources and gossip or if it was fan fiction planning, but it was mentioned outside the kaylordom too, so take that as you wish.

Then came the masters heist.

Now, to understand the thought process of Kaylors at the time, you have to remember that we thought Karlie & Taylor had a secret romance, Joe was a beard, Josh was a beard - but since he comes from a crime family who have done a lot of bad things (to put it lightly) and are stupidly rich, Josh had Karlie trapped in such a tight contract and has so much blackmail material that Karlie was forced to fake marry him against her will - remember, it was only meant to be a photo shoot for a Vogue wedding spread showing what wedding fashion was available, it wasn’t meant to be a wedding! But josh had his team leak the photos and instead of saying it was all for a photo shoot, Karlie had to say she was now married. <- that was the narrative and thought process within the fandom.

So the fandom thought 🛴 and Josh conspired to announce the purchase of big machine/ taylor’s masters which would derail her coming out plans. The fandom thought Karlie had no idea it was happening. Scooter and Josh were worried Taylor was going to come out, which would ultimately out Karlie since there were so many rumours about Kaylor already, and it would then out Josh and ruin Josh’s image, making it look obvious to everyone that Josh and Karlie were just beards, but kaylor was real. To avoid tarnishing Josh’s hetero card, scooter waited until the end of June to announce he bought taylor’s music for maximum impact.

(Never mind that someone spent $300M to keep a client in the closet) that was how we interpreted the situation (kept writing the fan fiction) and that it was a blow to taylor and a huge betrayal from scooter to Karlie because now they had extra leverage / ways to hurt Karlie.

So yeah. It was a very sad time. This also is why some kaylors think hoax lyrics point to their everlasting love “my best laid plans” = tay ready to come out end of June “your sleight of hand” = scooter tricking Karlie when he bought the masters and any information about taylor that Karlie mentioned innocently was used against them, “my barren land” = taken on a new meaning since Karlie announced her pregnancy, but initially it was seen as the land that was meant to be blooming with love was left barren and empty because of the masters incident delaying her coming out.

It sounds absolutely ludicrous, but the only way to understand how it was easy to rationalise is to understand how adamant the fandom was/ is that Josh and joe are just beards, Karlie is locked in a contract, and taylor is trying to free the both of them. If there were any truth to this at all, it is nothing short of ghastly situation for Karlie and paints taylor as a Nobel warrior trying to save her princess from the tower 🦸🏼‍♀️👸🏼 ....

Karlie had what I think was a scheduled post cause it was ad content , but otherwise was unusually silent on social media for a week + after the announcement. We thought they were grieving together.

——-

Now for Emily Poe. Ok so I really didn’t do my research - I thought Emily was only one or two years older than Taylor, so it never even occurred to me that the idea of that relationship would’ve been extremely predatory and badbadbadbad. I regret not doing my due dillihence when I was part of a fandom that consumed this theory. So Emily theories have been around since Taylor first had gay speculation. Part of this was because of some funny photos like that one where taylor is standing next to a truck that says “...gay Texan” and emily and a guy in the band I can’t think of his name were pointing to taylor and smirking. It’s a funny photo. I can see my dumb teenage self making similar jokes long before I knew my sexuality because LOOOOL GAY was a thing back then. There’s the video taylor made for Emily where she held up the “we love you emily” sign and she went to everyone she toured with including brad paisley to hold up the sign and make heart hands and just be extremely cute - platonic or romantic - both seem plausible - and cute as hell! The video was set to the dashboard confessional song ‘stolen’ which is basically just the lyric “you have stolen my heart” over and over again. This video got renewed interest when people went back and looked back at the you belong with me video. The idea of taylor and her make love interest holding these a4 sheets of paper with “I love you” written on them seemed familiar. The story of how YBWM came about was that Taylor heard her guitarist on the phone with his girlfriend and his gf was yelling at him for something seemingly insignificant/ the gf was painted out as high drama and her guitarist seemed miserable every time he spoke to her for a while. So Taylor had the idea of a song about a girl thinking her friends girlfriend is horrible, but turn it into a love story where the two friends get together - classic romantic comedy trope - she took the idea to Liz Rose and it was one of the last songs written for Fearless and specifically made to be upbeat and preppy because taylor thought the album was lacking that vibe. If you take the story Taylor said inspired the song and swap it from her male guitarist (who she also said she had no feelings for), and change it to her female fiddle player, the story behind the song can be the same, just tweaked to be hetwashed. Emily was a cheerleader and had a boyfriend when she toured with taylor, so it’s easy enough to take those things at surface value and think there was some truth to Emily. Also the two biggest gaylor rumours pre swiftgron came from comments on a gossip site/ forum. One was that ‘Emily was fired after she was caught relieving taylor of stress’ and how ‘emily was interested in law, but this incident cemented she had to leave the band but the swift team gave her money so emily wouldn’t sue for being fired on a sexual harassment issue’ (of course, knowing the age difference, we know this would NOT be the case at all) and it is speculated it inspired taylor to write breathe because she was so sorry for how things ended. They were inseparable and then after her birthday, never seen together or mentioned each other on MySpace again.

The other comment was that taylor ‘was a pillow princess in high school’ and that she was happy to receive but not give because she wanted to maintain her virgin status and thought if she reciprocated it would make her gay — the comment was something like that.

Of course it would’ve been incredibly easy for idk, some random on the internet who has never even met taylor to say those things.... but it was taken as gospel by the gaylor truthers.

People who looked further found a girl they believed was Taylor’s high school gf, her name started with L... but I never really believed it so I don’t have the greatest knowledge of that one. It seemed ridiculous to me she had a 3 year gf as a teenager and not a single person from her high school - or anyone who knew her alleged gf - ever spoke about it publicly??? That would be a lot of NDAs and payouts to keep silent, but a lot of other people believed NDAs and hush money was spent, so yeah... 🤷‍♀️

She also had some fruity MySpace posts which seemed to help the case for gaylor, but imo, it also falls under the ‘teenagers on the internet are dumb especially when social media was brand new and thank god myspace doesn’t exist cause I don’t want to see my old one ever again’ category.

Sorry for the essay, I felt I had been summoned and wanted to give background on the fandom. When I log back in I think I need to change my bio, I’m not really here to talk kaylor , but the fandom. Cause it’s really sad what that narrative within the fandom has become and heartbreaking what that narrative has done to fans, especially queer kids trying to figure themselves out. I couldn’t see how toxic it was for a long time, I’m happy I’m out of there now. but I think it helps to understand how the fandom thought and saw things as to how easy it was for things to spiral to the state it’s in now.

As old T used to sign off, - lovelovelove 💜

Brilliant post thanks KH!