#tbf it was out of my control. i really just blacked out

[artilite]

chúc mừng năm mới !!! happy new year !!!

[monstrouslyobsessed]

at this rate ima beat this jack frost all black and blue with how much trouble it is to write something im happy with. sighs. anyway, i got some asks to answer! some of them got a tad too long so its all under the cut!

tw / tags: heavy heavy beastfolk lore/worldbuilding talk, momster talks too fucking much, breeding mentions, implied noncon, multiple pregnancy mentions, long post, beastfolk / beastfolks characters mentioned: revius, zedrik, cerelos (brief), sea witch, adoxi, and velarius

Beast folk idea I have! How about a male kangaroo that is of course some type of famous professional athlete (aside from boxing, he could be a martial artist, sprinter, etc.) that has been a play boy all his life (based off of how male kangaroos flex their muscles in real life to females). He never I guess had any “moment” in his life with any females, where he felt right actually wanting to be with them and love them whole heartedly (whether beastfolk of his own species or those not). So then one day someone he knows (close friend or maybe a work professional) takes him to an exclusive private party where the beastfolk have “rented” some humans to do it with. (I don’t know lore wise how legal this is, if at all, but it happened some how). I guess it’s so private because some of the guests there are secret human efers, those in denial, or just haven’t found the “right human” yet and would like some hands on sampling before purchasing them. And so, that’s how the kangaroo meets us his adorable darling. And I’d really like this to be very sweet and fluffy (before becoming mouth watering smutty of course), with kangaroo just having a “zing!” moment with us. We were the female he needed to feel complete in regards to love, and he plans to take GREAT care of us. (It’d also be funny to show how overprotective he is of reader from the start, by him unhesitatingly outbidding some of the other party guests who’ve also taken interest in reader). Of course it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, as reader has trust/abandonment/attachment issues. So finding out that her new kangaroo owner is (was) a MASSIVE play boy isn’t helping her fears. Now it’s up to kangaroo to do damage control, learn how to be a much better beast man, and show his sole love/devotion to reader. Making sure she’ll never question his love/loyalty to her ever again! He wants to make her the envy of his past flings, other beastmen, and just everybody really, since she’s the center of his universe. (Kangaroo also wants to really make her his permanently by getting her knocked up/wifey too). I don’t know if you’d like this idea/concept, but I thought it’d be very cute. I just love the trope of a Casanova finding their soul mate, and having to fix all the damage they’ve caused themselves by their own consequences. Cause it really is a self conflict, and great for character growth arcs. (I also just wanna be spoiled/doted on endlessly by a man who’s capable to throw hands literally and figuratively 24/7 to protect me). Thanks 🪭 —anonymous

hmmm, a bit -too- overdetailed for me to write this one since i like some breathing room to apply my own spins. tbf, it sounds like you already got it started! all you needed to do is to write it~if you write this one, link me! i wouldn't mind reading it and supporting fellow writers <3

while it is -my- au, i especially love seeing what it inspired in others and see their interpretations of it! while the worldbuilding remains mine (STILL chewing on starting a book/series on it someday, but the thought of publishing anything is scary af), it's literally just (semi-realistic) furries mingling with humans with extra history/political dramas included.

so, as long as you keep your worldbuilding somewhat different and source the inspiration to me, have at it. write your own beastfolk world!

anyway, on the finer details (for my AU anyway), as long as those humans are 'beastfolk-owned' and not green card/independent humans, they're essentially viewed as property to do whatever with albeit with responsibilities to ensure their well-being. as long as they're fed and have open access to water, have sufficient shelters, are clean, and their health is regularly checked, their owners can do whatever they want, really. the court won't interfere as long as the humans are safe and healthy—and mind you, the beastfolks are very slow on the uptake about the mental health, less so with their humans'.

that said, this can also depend greatly on what region they're in. some areas have far more human rights than others, being more liberal, while others may be more conservative and views humans as, well, livestock, essentially. humans in these places sometimes have the same rights as actual animals (if they're lucky). that said, the more rural it is, the fewer rights the human pets have.

of course, money DOES talk too.

so, you can just easily say that your characters are either in one of those conservative regions—or have shady connections and/or have an insane amount of money where the laws would just look the other way. just don't make it public and you're good to go, pretty much.

auctions would probably be a common sight in certain black markets, depending on where you are and when you are on the timeline. the zoo breakout to the early post zoo eras sees many of those events. on the most parts in the later era, those auctions are then transformed into whole new events entirely (aka, sports), which is the logical next step since they used to be the aftermath for when the bidding was ending in an outright war between several bidders and was used to solve the issue. instead of bidding, you'd complete for the human you wanted (i'm not clear at how the human would end up there yet since i don't feel any reputable shelter would align with those events for the 'adoption war' or that the adoption is the only way. still debating on this--in any case, the darling ends up there when there are more than two beastfolks fighting over them) and prove your worth while treating the unfortunate human like a rat bait (see: the maze headcanon i wrote a while ago—and am planning to write a whole piece of it to properly thank a very kind supporter when i'm able. some details had been changed since then, but it mostly still hold up).

in a lot of ways, the auctions were rather kinder to the humans as they wouldn't be put in outright danger right then. :/ the (new) spectator sports, such as the maze race, exploits multiple legal loopholes, since they involve no money (not outright anyway) as the auctions were (publicly) banned for "unregulated monetary transactions and the unpredictability of bid outcomes".

if anything, a good amount of these sports are...purely for "adult entertainment", if you get what i'm implying. ahem. the laws are actually pretty behind regarding the 'adult content/sports', especially with the open access of internet around then on that timeline. the large part of that had to do with encouraging the beastfolks to procreate with the humans though, so any form of sex between both races are simply not regulated outside the acceptable age range and limitations on physical violence/abuse and this includes the "entertainment" aspect.

it's fucked, but that's how they gets away with such things.. i'm rambling, but this can be a good alternative for you to think about too, to add on that extra drama flare and to further traumatize the human.

this is a super cute idea though and i sincerely hope you'll expand it yourself if you can! this is a very nice starting point too, if you're not used to writing. as for me, i'm not sure i can write all of this for you unfortunately, since i tend to go TOO long on just one scene and i have multiple ideas i wanna work on as well, aha. but you did give me room to talk the worldbuilding to help expand similar events like your idea so thank you for that. i can most definitely tell you that your poor fella is definitely not an isolated example.

Apparently penguins kidnap other penguins’ children to try and raise as their own. Was watching nature utube vids on this and it’s so sad! The desire to be a parent is so intense for some couples that they’ll take away another couple’s baby! How’d this play into your beast verse? What measures would government and organizations take to help combat this extreme phenomenon? And think about being a human parent and having your Penguin spouse come back with a random baby 💀💀💀 Even worse is if you’re in a Penguin community and have to fight off other penguins casually when you have your baby. On the streets, home break ins, etc. —anonymous

ngl featheredfolk (penguins are flightless but they're still birds and have feathers still so they count as one) is a bunch of odd birds with cultures other beastfolks often struggle to understand, especially with the dramas that often follow. children theft in general with the featheredfolks is complicated and tends to only involves the similar peers to sort it out, because outsiders (humans included, if not one of 'theirs' via being the spouse or the child/ren) would just get frustrated with their fucked logic to the point of being angry about it.

so, no, penguins wouldn't be the only birds that deal with this mannerism, but is the most common one to do so.

that said, they tend to have big enough noggins not to involve anyone who isn't a featheredfolk (and to an extent, wingedfolk), because they're still mostly prey in nature. skittishness towards the predator kind is basically ingrained in their dna.

but that's not to say such incidents never happened though! usually, it only happens when the community is actually quite small, that they have to 'outsource' to another beastfolk. it's a very dangerous thing to do though, since beastfolks are naturally very overprotective of their youngs. in cases where they do succeed with the kidnapping and escapes unscathed, it normally doesn't take long before the one they took the child from to track them down due to using their superior senses.

it's 50/50 on how it may end though and the laws would still side with the victims regardless of the outcome. hopefully, someone else would call the laws first to deal with such matters though and to calm the angry parent/guardian.

that said, i do imagine that the government would get around this annoying instinct by advertising adoptions as another option from the featheredfolk's early age in their school. they'd push it so much that the featheredfolk tends to feel like they were being singled out for it too.

...honestly, i'm not even sure how to answer this one fully. i should treat this as a serious question with a serious answer, but i can't.

the featheredfolks are legit viewed as the clowns of the beastfolk world already because of how...simpleminded most of them can be (not a bad thing!) 😭and now this. the birdbrains....still, i hope this somewhat answers your question(s)...?

Maybe I’m just blind and stupid, but did you touch up on beastfolk courtship rituals for some species? Ex- Birds may decorate, dance, or sing to court another. Hooved/fanged folk may literally fight each other to get rights to begin courtship with x. I’m just so curious to see what animal behaviors transfer to your universe! :) —anonymous

uhhhh, i don't think i really expand on those yet, no! the 'traditional' courtship rituals are more commonplace in the past than the 'modern' era, tbf, if between beastfolk and humans.

if it's just between two (or more) beastfolks, then yeah, 'traditional' courtship rituals are common.

in the present, it's a common understanding that the humans may not always understand their actions, so the beastfolk tends to adapt the best they could for 'the best of both worlds' kind of ritual—sometimes to the extreme mean though (lol).

for example, with the featheredfolks, for being a species with brittle bones, they're rather sturdy so they're often happy just living in a large treehouse and staying steady no matter the weather and season. it's more like an old cabin, with a lot of drafts. but, the thing is, neither (or more, i don't judge those in the poly relationships lol) would care, because the one doing the courting built it just for their love interest—and later built it better together for their upcoming new family members.

but for a featheredfolk genuinely interested in a human, would have to outright learn how to build a modern house—and that is far more complicated than just putting together a log cabin in the tree. they're very adaptive folks though and if they're sincere about the human, they'd go that far to at least attempt to build the foundation single-handedly. thankfully, the bird community is often tight-knit, so others would step in once the basic foundation is done and rally in.

(unlike our irl, everyone in that AU can at least afford some ways to build their own home and not be buried in the debts for the rest of their life. this is mainly because some specific beastfolks having an instinctive needs to build, that the common government would offer to offset some of the costs to abate those instincts from turning destructive.)

in their cases, even if the courting failed, the featheredfolk learned and can actually apply it to their lifeskill/career path/etc. for birdbrains, you'll see a lot of them in the engineering and architecture fields. (funny how that works!)

as you pointed out, yes, hoovedfolk and fangedfolk are more violent with their courting, but that's generally only in the cases where the love interest have more than one (alike) suitor vying for their affection. i'm not really sure how common that is in the more liberal areas tbf, but i do imagine it's a daily thing in the conservative/rural regions since those usually have a lot of, hm, predominant 'single-species' community? sorry, i'm not really sure how to word it.

since strength is what they consider their worth and humans rarely understand the point of physical violence, they'd probably show off what they're capable of instead—from lifting a car to carrying all the groceries at once for the human they're interested in. endurance too, so if the human is into, say, a sport or likes to run, they'd compete to show off just how good they are with either (though, i do like to think they'd carry their human on their back while running five more miles when the human gets tired--just to say, 'look at me! i'm not even tired yet and i'm carrying you!'). unlike the featheredfolks, fangedfolk and hoovedfolks are much milder about their courting.

whiskeredfolks are much more sly, but they like to show off how much they can provide (which is also something fangedfolk likes to do, but the former is often more subtle). usually involving money (and management) and ordering things their human hadn't realized they needed yet. things like that. they really likes to bring home food too, lol. since they can't exactly show off their hunting skills and bring home a bloodied deer carcass, providing is the next best thing with their human love interest.

there's more, but i'll stop here, but their courting rituals for their humans are basically 'modernized', with some species (obviously and hilariously so) trying harder than others.

tbf, parts of the birds' rituals were inspired by that tumblr meme on 'if men were like birds'. can't find that now though.

hope this answered you some?

Question:Revius and Zedrik- What’s family life with them now if you were to have 2 children (1 from each)? Just wondering how dynamics would change, what the children’s personalities would be like, etc. Sea Witch (octo man)- Can we have babies with him? And if we did would it be a multiple pregnancy since female octopuses (I know we are a modified human) technically lay hundreds of eggs. And how would family life be from there out? —anonymous

hm, i can't comment on the childrens personalities (and any other details, really) since that's kinda something i leave to the readers to decide.

honestly, both revius and zedrik would fall deeper in 'love' with their darling for enduring both of those difficult pregnancies, that they're rather clingy to them more so than to each other. though, granted, both knew how capable each other would be so it's more on how 'frail' their darling really is in comparison. zedrik is more openly emotional than revius is though, but revius is certainly more of the nagging type like a strict, doting mom might be. personally, i feel they'd butt heads more often after their children are born, (but never to the point of separating [imo anyway, they'd been together for some times before they decided to...'pursue' the darling]), because of how different their parenting styles were.

let's just say that cerelos' darling has an easier time wrangling with the emperor than their darling did with those two.

otherwise, they're both pretty devoted as fathers. i do imagine their kids would've been confused by their upbringings a bit though due to, again, differing parenting styles. the darling does their best though! but it's kinda hard to raise children double, triple your size lol

as for the sea witch, that's implied! i wanted to let the reader to decide on their own if they're going to have kids with him or not, rather than outright branding 'breeding kink' on the piece. but, yes, there'd be oviposition going on, had you wanted to imagine that storyline.

not sure if i understood you about the multiple pregnancies though, so i'll refrain from answering that one. instead, yes, the darling would probably carry multiple eggs and, well, egg laying. i do imagine the sea witch would've found a way to make that not at all a painful process (probably quite the opposite, tbf).

as for the family life, i'm...not at all sure. i'll leave that for you and other readers to decide. i honestly see the sea witch just enjoying the pregnancy, because to him, his darling is now ruined and marked with his seed (or, eggs). afterward? not sure if he'd enjoy the fatherhood too much, especially with multiple 8-legged kids running about.

he might be an excellent father

or he might genuinely be a shitty one.

his personality is kind of confusing in that regard, so i'll just let yall to make that call and we'll go from there.

I've really gotten into your beastfolk universe but I want to ask: Does adoxi exist within that universe or is he in a separate universe? —anonymous

nope! he's too human-looking to be a beastfolk--and is too healthy, pretty, and (mostly) sane to be a hybrid. thats why hes not in the beastfolk masterlist.

initially, he's from his own universe, where humans are living in ignorance of the existence of inhuman beings like adoxi, but i've been chewing on the possibly of him being a descendant of my other character, the cursed god. it'd explain why he's looking fairly human yet not (the 6 arms isn't genetically inheritable fyi, since the priest ripped them off from unfortunate souls to replace the ones he lost).

but that's only me chewing on it and isn't 'official' yet, since there are couple details that wouldn't make sense (but is workable). still thinking about it.

hope this answered!

God I love how you write snakemen like Adoxi and Valerius. They act like bastards but good lord I would get on my knees for them so fast! —anonymous

hee~snakes are so fun to write, ngl. imagining being wrapped around in his coil is a guilty pleasure. glad you're enjoying my depictions! <3

there's a few more, but they're requests i'm hoarding in my inbox for now lol but man who let me talk??? anyway, sorry that i took a minute to answer your asks hhhh life just keeps on happeningggg. sighs. anyway, hope yall are doing well and as always, my inbox is open for (mostly) anything. <3 love ya~and take care of yourself!

[the-s1lly-corner]

"And what will you do when I can't recognize you?"

Eyeless jack x reader angst but it's based around my specific hc that "jack is cursed bc cult stuff and hes forced to eat flesh; and his mind and body are degrading into something not.. human"

So yeah basically reader and jack trying to cope with his whole monster metamorphosis

Cw. For body horror, and tbh this is mostly me rattling on about my hcs of how jack became eyeless jack

That was something he said to you one night, unprompted

Of course you both had a vague idea of what was happening to him; but neither of you had answers... let alone fully understood

Of course, he knew more than you. He was the one living with this... curse.. and he had it before the two of you met

But even now, it was showing how ugly things could get, and it was only the beginning

Obviously; his appearance was changing. His skin became.. cold, veins were showing, he simply looked like he was dying. Obviously, he had pits for eyes, which were constantly dripping this cold black ooze. His ears and teeth were now pointed, and his fingers ended in claws. But other than that; he more or less looked like a normal person, if you overlooked those silly details

Oh, his tongue.. no matter how you may feel about it, the process of how he "obtained" the monstrous thing is horrifying.

To spare the details, his original tongue essentially split into the half dozen tendrils it is today

Not good stuff, and he felt all of it

And of course there's the psychological and behavioral effects of the curse; to get the big bad out of the way, he can no longer eat normal food. No need to elaborate. Good news is, as of now, he doesnt need to feed often. But when he does, he runs the risk of losing control, almost becoming animalistic in the way he behaves

That's his main fear

He's expressed that those frenzies happen he finds it harder and harder to contain himself, or come back down

He worries that one day you'll be the one getting chomped on

Really, there's nothing either of you can do to stop this or lessen the effects of the curse

Bro only has two options; suck it up and become a monster that can't resemble anything of this world. Or die

There already were some nights where he may have snipped at you. He didn't mean to be aggressive, but he was trying so hard to keep it together. He needed you to leave the area and stay away for a while

Some days his memories begin to cloud, that's probably the scariest for him. It'd be scary for everyone, obviously

I dont typically like writing angst without adding some sort of comfort, or happy ending, but that sort of thing just. Doesnt exist here. Jack's fate is pretty much sealed, and what sucks is that he didnt ask to be dragged into this

This is all sorta based off that spin off backstory jack got (though tbf I dont recall if it was even made by his original creator, though my take is in a silly au), where he makes friends who are (unbeknownst to him) in a cult and had plans to use him

Bro didn't want this, and really the whole thing is tragic

Of course, I'll still try to add some comfort, as it feels wrong to just drag this man around like this

Smells seem to have a positive response

Makes sense; its said that the brain ties smells to memories, and associating it with certain things

So if you wear a certain perfume or use a certain detergent to wash clothing, he'll definitely remember and recognize it. It seems to help him come down after a bad spot

Journaling can help him keep track of the days; though you'll need to give him some time on that... hard to hold pencils when you have claws..

And of course, comfort him; be there for him

I wish I could end this kinda bummer hc ramble off on a lighter note, but the whole thing/this side of eyeless jack is just so

You know?

Anyways yeah I write all my eyeless jack stuff with these ideas in mind so

Yeah, that's why I tend to write EJ all gloomy and reclusive

[pan-magi]

*posts random rukh thoughts over a month late b/c I forgot about it*

Are the rukh an actual light source? The things my mind gets stuck on repeatedly while working on shit.

The answer would appear to be yes. This is shown when there is enough gathered at one place, usually in a relation with one of the magi using enough magic and producing magoi at a rate to be visible to everyone who can't usually see them. With the exception of Judar, but I'll get to black rukh in a minute. This is usually conveyed through light even if the surroundings are dim. The first time Aladdin is seen really going off is one such occurrence.

I keep thinking to myself. How does rukh produce light when magi using magic isn't involved? Do magicians constantly see hundreds, thousands, of light sources no one else can see? Or is the light so minimal it doesn't make a difference? I like to know what light sources I'm dealing with.

The closest we get for this is with Baba. She sees the world directly through rukh; it is her source of sight. Though tbf, the anime doesn't really touch on her being blind outside of her interaction with rukh. The manga is only a little clearer. Point being, light source or not, it is a way to see and experience the world.

Does that mean that it acts as a sort of passive night vision outside of Baba? Who knows. The one time I can think of an example is that while exploring the fifth district there isn't much light shown outside of some lanterns and dim lights, but Aladdin, Titus and Sphintus don't seem to have much trouble. Meanwhile, Marga and the rest of the citizens there are used to the level of light and don't work really as a control group. So I dunno.

The other conclusion is that it's not the rukh that produce the light. It comes from the magoi that they produce. When Judar explains the magic system to Aladdin (imo, a condescending smartass doing an exposition dump is a surprisingly effective way to deliver information to the audience in a quick manner), he produces magoi to deliver his point. It acts as a bright beacon that everyone reacts to and sees, especially when Judar starts attacking people with it.

I don't really have concluding thoughts on this. It's more of a ramble dump. Good place as any to switch to talk about black rukh.

I kinda dislike in the anime that black rukh is also shown to produce light. A dim purple light typically, but a light nonetheless. One of the reasons I think of to why is so that each is distinguishable in a way. That a mass of black rukh isn't shown to be a massive black blob and nothing else.

(left about normal, right darkened slightly to show point of black blob)

It isn't how I ever imagined them to be though.

I'll end this on a headcanon of mine. I always thought it made more sense for the black rukh to absorb light or at the very least cast a massive shadow. The first impression Aladdin gets from seeing Judar is describing him like a black sun. What would be the cause for someone to come to that conclusion? Mine was that the overwhelming amount of black rukh from Judar would be a blot of darkness until Aladdin can focus on him properly. If it is only dozens of black birds surrounding the guy the description will be less extreme.

An eclipse (what I can attribute to being like a black sun, outside of blackhole) doesn't just cast ordinary shadows. It is putting out the main light source of the planet. It isn't a cloudy day, a storm, or night time during a new moon: the closest other comparison. The darkness of an eclipse hits different. Plus, when Aladdin gets memories about the fall of Alma Tran the sun there looks like it is permanently eclipsed. That's the quickest shorthand to show that it is nothing but darkness all the time.

Anyway, that is how I see Judar and the black rukh in general. They are opposites and out of spite literally and metaphorically counteracts the light from the white rukh.

Yup, no closing thoughts. Thanks for reading this word vomit if you did!

[coldflasher]

Joe flr character bingo? 👀

sorry anon i was outside in the garden planting raspberry bushes. anyway this is SUCH a good one and I am kinda mad there are so few squares I can tick off for Joe bc i genuinely love him but not like That

Joe is such a comfort character for me in a very diff way. he makes my daddy issues go brrrrr cos THIS is a dad. THE dad of all time. if i could pick any dad ever to have instead of mine i think i'd pick him.

I think he's so fucking funny first of all. it's my fave thing to put him in a fic and just. mess with him. im poking him with a stick. im watching his blood pressure go up. i'm making him deal with leonard snart and he's about to explode every time they're in a room together. i just. have so many affectionate feelings for him and his seething hatred of this man. and the earth 2 version where he's exactly like that but to BARRY? iconic. no notes. rip earth 2 joe you were a bitch and i miss you sm

THAT BEING SAID there are things about him that make me go "you should have faced more consequences for that. go sit in a corner and think about what you've done." namely bullying iris out of being a cop (acab etc. etc. but still shitty of him), the whole thing where he was like BARRY, WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK MY PERMISSION TO MARRY IRIS (and iris AGREED 🤮🤮🤮 who the fuck was in charge of the writers' room that day, i just wanna talk), the fact that he can be overbearing and controlling of his kids and very jaded in a lot of ways... idk he's a flawed character and every character needs some negative aspects so none of these things affect my love for him but sometimes i am shaking my head in disapproval...

as for canon. this is true of everything but MAN did they drop the ball with him towards the end... i get why they had joe quit ccpd given the political situation at the time and i support that 100% but first of all, having a Black character go "hey the police force in my city is inherently corrupt and i can no longer be complicit in its enforcement" (true and correct) while their white hero just does not acknowledge that corruption and continues to work for the same establishment completely uncritically was... perhaps not sending the message they intended... i mean it's honestly almost funny cos that is very much a reflection of the actual systems but. maybe they could have thought about that one a bit more...

and they really should have given joe something else to do cos he ended up sorta directionless after that. in fairness i know jesse l martin has back problems so i think them having him sitting down chilling at home as a stay at home dad was perhaps borne of necessity in a lot of ways but they defo could have done more interesting things with the character. im not OPPOSED to sahd joe but it does seem like a bit of a waste cos it would just be like. every episode joe shows up for a pep talk then goes back to being the full-time stay at home parent for a child we literally never see except one time when a window explodes in her face, which brings me to my NEXT point---

writing joe out with LITERALLY like 8 eps to go? stupid. again i respect that jesse l martin had HAD it with this show (tbf who hadnt by this point) and he wanted out, of course he had every right to do that, but purely based on the context of the show, i hate that they had him leave central city like that and move so far away when we were so close to the finish line. HAAATE it. the show was basically on life support from that point on. it was possibly worse than when we lost cisco. joe was the heart of it, man. it just wasn't the same :(

but yes I LOVE JOE, he is the only fictional dad i respect and i love ruining his life

[ravenwitch45]

Winx S4 Rewatch Rambles Continued

Is what it says so let's get into it

First part of this post:

The MLM version of this frame from last time

I'm joking, I don't ship Nabu and Riven but I found this funny so why not?

Oh Sybylla is so pretty... Now that I think about all the major fairies are. Hmm... anyway I specifically really her hair and wings, her dress also ain't half bad either. Shame she don't do much.

Okay where the fuck has this tower been hiding? Cause Tir Nan Og has a mechanism to hide itself but to my knowledge this does not so... Did the wizards hide it in space after sealing Aurora away, or did it not exist and Aurora just created it after being freed? If it's the former then wouldn't people have seen it? and if it's the latter Aurora is pretty protective of a hunk of Ice she can make seemingly easily,

All that said it is a gorgeous location lowkey surprised Icy hasn't attempted to steal it and have a frosty joyride through the universe, wouldn't that be something?

Roxy having an incredibly cool spell that almost puts the Winx's to shame. Good lord Roxy you got robbed...

Ah Aurora, I... have mixed feelings on you. Her wings are cool and I like the hood but girl your outfit needs to be a little bit more... more. You are the Fairy of the North put on an actual coat for god sake. Or like a parka dress, i don't know just something but no. She has the same problems as Lovix, furs a nice touch but shows way too much skin for me to take her seriously. Still like her though.

Now Nebula, I've warmed up to her over the years, Her wings are nice albeit a bit samey with the other earth fairies, then again she is their general so I guess that makes sense. I like her hair and her outfit is just the right color for me to like, that said I feel like a general would wear actual armor when fighting, but she looks good anyway.

Bloom using Ice magic? Icy feels a disturbance in the force.

This look Morganna gives Roxy just feels like a parent being mildy dissapointed in their kid for getting into trouble, which tbf is inda what's happening.

Bloom just straight up grabbing Nebula and throwing her? Actually yes please, flying gives more advantages then height so have the Winx use that more please.

Ah the black gift of salt to rub in Aisha's wounds. I hate this thing and if you know the show then you know why.

Enjoy him while you can girl cause you are going to get fucking robbed soon...

Kiko being able to actively control his ears is creepy enough but them being freakishly strong is fucking terrifying. Enngh...

I just thought this was cute. I want more soft Nebula please.

Okay Morganna says their wings grew back, which one I'm surprised Nick kept that in, and two how long we talking about here, years? months maybe, cause I'm a little bit interested in the actual science of fairy wings now, which they never explain despite fairies being the main characters. Hmm...

Oh Morganna is just so pretty. I don't what it is about her but I just love her, I wish she got more time to shine, and I wish she wasn't relegated to background character later on. She deserves the world.

That said, Queen sorry but I'm about to slander you

Just the face. I think you get it.

And Ogron and the wizards betray everyone what a surprise, and he gets yellow straps for one shot and one shot only. Uh.. he actually makes it work i think but he looks better normally

Oh the dreaded moment has arrived. Goodbye Nabu, you and Aisha deserved so much better.

Rest in peace King.

On a lighter note, Morganna continues to have the best faces

But seriously this scene just slays so well. Aisha turning on the Winx and becoming what they were fighting just a few episodes prior is just... it's such a strong move with actual impact, cause she's doing it willingly not out of mind control like Dark Bloom. Also the detail of the rain, rain is kinda commonly used for sad scenes but here it actually makes sense.

Aisha is the fairy of fluids, and has control over water, in an attempt to keep her promise to Nabu, to not cry she has stopped, but perhaps subconciously she uses her powers to cry, she makes the sky cry for her. Aisha I am so sorry.

Color me surprised Stella grabs someone and throws them too. Smart girl!

Aisha actually fighting the Winx, hurts my soul cause these are the girls who helped her free the pixies without knowing her, who refused to leave her behind in her worst fear, who stuck with her when she was blinded and fought for her homeworld like it was their own one nearly losing her life in the process who Aisha thought did and cried for her.

In her rage she is blind to all of that, cause she is so desperate to not lose someone else that she almost loses what she still has. You can either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain

Ah the Morganna is Roxy's mother reveal, the timeline is nonsense but I will enjoy this anyway cause it's so cute!

Queen actually get's to do something thank the dragon! Oh and how her dress flows around her when flying is so pretty!

The fact that Tecna has no comment about being back in Omega upsets me. At least have her look uncomfortable considering she was stuck here all alone for at least a week like seriously give us something!

Wait Nebula was the fairy of peace? That's her thing!? This may be a nick thing but oh my god! To think what the Wizards did to her drove her to be so bloodthirsty is so tragic! That's like if Aurora started using Fire or if Diana destroyed nature, Nebula's trauma is so much severe then I thought good lord.

Ah and they made up. That's nice, though Nebula's hands going through Morganna's wings is a bit weird but shh! Enjoy it. Wonder is someone's written them together, Hmm...

Well this is gonna need a third installment to finish this off since I had so many, that will be out in a bit, see you then!

[summerwritesfics]

🕸️Hold Me Like You Held Onto Life, Chapter 1 - The Blood On Our Hands Is The Wine We Offer In Sacrifice

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang Length: 4106 Words Rating: Explicit 🔞 Warnings: Vampire & Werewolf AU, Gang AU, Vampire!Kuai Liang, Werewolf!Hanzo, Vampire!Quan Chi, Vampire Turning, Murder, Graphic Descriptions of Corpses, Gang Terf Wars, Blood Drinking, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of a corpse being kept in a freezer, Quan Chi is a creepy Bastard, NSFK (Not Safe For Kuai)

Hold Me Like You Held Onto Life Masterlist

Notes: AYO more vampire AU’s because I have 0 self control! Well, tbf I actually wrote this back in like… December? I think? So actually before my other Vampire & Werewolf AU’s lmao! So yeah, this is part of the whole seclude thing to fill the gaps until October. I think originally this first chapter was gonna just be like a prologue but fuck it, it’s chapter one now lmao. If you follow my personal tumblr (Which you should it’s @summertrapped btw :3) I have made multiple references to an AU generator project. It started as a brainstorming exercise, randomly generate two different AU types and try to come up with a coherent plotline. Some of them are wild lemme tell you, but there are a few here and there that I’d really like to properly work on and this is one of them. Title is from “Vampire Heart” by HIM, & Chapter 1’s title is “Wings Of A Butterfly” by HIM (I was clearly feeling some kinda way when I titled this lmao)

Hanzo stared at the map of the city, hand under his chin. Everywhere that the Shirai Ryu currently controlled was marked by yellow. Their territory was slowly starting to border on Black Dragon turf, and that was troubling. Hanzo was sure he could make a deal there somewhere along the lines, especially if they had a common enemy in the Red Dragon.

The large patch of blue on the other side of the city was far more alarming however. The Lin Kuei had seemingly increased their efforts for more ground. If Hanzo didn't act soon, they could overpower the Shirai Ryu.

They had to have a plan before the next full moon, the pack was stronger then, and with a well thought out operation the werewolves could easily push back their enemies. He thought back to a possible alliance with the Black Dragon. Kano was oafish, as half-dragon's tended to be, but the clans backup would definitely be useful against their enemies. Especially when the Lin Kuei was mostly comprised of humans, with a few supernatural entities here and there.

He turned to his second in command. "It looks to me like we may have to create an alliance with the Black Dragon."

"I was considering that too, Boss. But..." Junpei shook his head and pointed towards the large red block of the city. "That could also work against us, if the Lin Kuei decide to ally with the Red Dragon."

Hanzo scoffed, "the Lin Kuei won't do that. You know as well as I do that Oniro is too stubborn." It really was their biggest weakness. Oniro was an old fool, far too set in his ways. It made everything so very predictable, and that made things a lot easier for Hanzo. "Besides, I am sure Kano wouldn't say no to a few extra claws against the Red Dragon."

"We should focus on pushing back the Lin Kuei first," Junpei reminded him. "The next full moon is only a month away, our plan needs to be flawless."

"It will be," Hanzo stated confidently, smirking as he lent against his hands. "The Lin Kuei have been too cocky lately, we need to remind them of their place in the food chain."

Before Junpei could further add his opinion, the door slammed open, Katashi stumbling through with a panicked look on his face. Hanzo usually preferred his pack to knock, but given how jittery Katashi was, it looked like this was important.

"Katashi, you know I do not like interruptions." He crossed his arms and watched as the other man scrambled to shut the door behind him. "What is the meaning of this?"

"It's the Lin Kuei, Boss," Katashi said between his pants. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. "Oniro's dead."

Hanzo paused at that, a strange horror sweeping over him. All that security in Oniro's predictable actions was gone in an instant. He took a deep breath. No, the Lin Kuei will still be predictable. Oniro had a son, Sektor, and it was set in stone that he would be the next leader. Sektor had the same weak spots as his father, it would be fine.

"I take it Sektor will be taking over then," Junpei voiced Hanzo's own thoughts. He pushed himself away from the map and rolled his eyes. "Maybe pushing them back will be even easier than we thought. Sektor is a brat and certainly isn't cut out for the job."

"True, we will have to account this into our plans," Hanzo claimed, until he saw Katashi raising a hand.

"Uh. Boss. I don't know how to tell you this but..." Katashi paused, looked down at the paper in his hand. "Sektor hasn't succeeded his father."

"What?" Hanzo asked in disbelief, reaching to rip the paper from Katashi's hands. It obviously had the answer. "Then who has?"

He opened the paper, and skimmed it, and suddenly any certainty of victory was pulled from beneath his feet.

The paper read "It is by my decree that Song Bi-Han will take my place."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Bi-Han was a high ranking Lin Kuei, and he was there for a reason. He was one of the few humans who could keep up with the supernatural with ease. He was feared by many, and known to be an impossible to predict renegade. Someone so vicious and bloodthirsty at the healm of the Lin Kuei spelled trouble.

Not least because Bi-Han had a very personal grudge again Hanzo. He'd never really figured out why. Something about a family member of Bi-Han's being hurt by some Shirai Ryu, and Bi-Han had taken it as an attack against himself. Whatever Bi-Han thought the Shirai Ryu had done however, it seemed he wasn't going to stop with his attacks against them until so called vengeance was his.

Bi-Han being in charge of an entire gang posed a monumental problem, not just for Hanzo and the Shirai Ryu, but the entire city.

"Oh fuck," he heard Junpei grunt from beside him, looking over Hanzo's shoulder at the paper. "If this is true, then we need to get ahead and up our defences."

Hanzo nodded, folding the paper and placing it in his top pocket. "Katashi, gather as many people as you can, have them patrol our territory, kill any Lin Kuei on sight."

"On it Boss," Katashi claimed, doing a quick salute before he was out of the door.

"Junpei, contact Kano," he ordered, turning back to the map again. "I think that alliance just became vital."

"As you wish, Boss."

Junpei hurried out of the room, while Hanzo was left to stare at the map in front of him. All they had to do was hold out for another month. Then, when the full moon came, they could fight back and hold the Lin Kuei away.

At least, that's how he hoped things would go down.

"So, you accept my deal?"

Bi-Han looked across at Quan Chi, the other man holding out a glowing green hand. He knew once he shook, there was no going back, Quan Chi's magic would bind them together. But this was a small price to pay, wasn't it? To make the Lin Kuei stronger.

And a small price to bring Kuai Liang back to him.

"I accept," Bi-Han stated, reaching out to take Quan Chi's hand.

As his fingers clasped the other mans hand, that green magic began to swirl around them. He watched in fascination before he felt burning on the back of his hand. Bi-Han didn't pull away though, he knew this was part of the process. The magic dispersed and the burning stopped, but Bi-Han didn't let go until Quan Chi himself pulled his hand away. After it was over, Bi-Han looked down at the back of his hand, branded into his skin was a marking he was very familiar with. The mark of the Brotherhood of Shadows.

He sighed, it is done, he was forever bound to the Brotherhood. And now Quan Chi had to start holding up his end of the bargain.

"Now that is done," he started, watching as Quan Chi wandered back to his alter as if nothing had just happened. "Bring Kuai Liang back to me."

Quan Chi chuckled, "demanding, aren't you? I can see why Oniro chose you to be his successor." He straightened himself and held out his arm. "I will need his corpse."

Bi-Han nodded, turning behind him and giving a call. Cyrax and Sektor came in carrying a body bag, and Quan Chi gestured for it to be placed on the alter. As they did, Bi-Han stalked over to join them. He could see the positively sour look on Sektor's face, still bitter he was snubbed position as leader and hating every second he had to follow Bi-Han’s command. Cyrax looked like he was trying to remain impassive, but given how stiffly he was holding himself, he was clearly uncomfortable with what was happening. He had been close to Kuai, so Bi-Han could at least understand why this didn’t sit right with him.

Once the body bag was on the alter, Sektor and Cyrax stepped back. Quan Chi reached for the zip, undoing the bag and slowly revealing what was within.

And there lay Kuai Liang, lifeless and pale but perfectly preserved since the day he died.

Quan Chi made an impressed sounding hum as he traced the features of Kuai Liang's face, "I have to admit, I'm impressed with how well his body has held up." He looked at Bi-Han with an eyebrow raised, "I thought he had been dead for 5 years, his body should be far more decomposed by now."

"I've... been keeping him in my freezer," Bi-Han awkwardly admitted, trying to ignore the look of disbelief and horror Cyrax shot him. He didn't need someone judging his actions right now. He had done what he had to do in order to be reunited with his brother.

"That, my friend, is the most fucked up thing I've ever heard," Quan Chi said with a dark laugh. Bi-Han just grumbled under his breath. "Still, I am glad you did, it will make turning him so much easier, as I have to do fewer... repairs."

"Could you get on with it then?" Bi-Han hissed, the longer he had to look at his brother's dead body, the more he yearned for him.

"Very well." Quan Chi placed a hand on Kuai's face, where there was a large gash that had been left across his right eye. "First I will need to heal his wounds."

The wound started to seal over, red and raw new skin scarring over where the wound was. He then placed his hand on Kuai's chest, the same happening to the stab wounds. He suspected it was healing the internal injuries Kuai had sustained as well. Quan Chi admired his work for a second, and hummed.

"Does he have any other injuries that I am not seeing?" Quan Chi asked, looking over the body with interest.

"No, those are all of them," Bi-Han explained, biting his lip.

"Good." Quan Chi held one hand over the centre Kuai's chest while the other grasped his forehead. "Now I will need to restart his heart and brain."

Before Bi-Han could ask what that meant, Quan Chi was chanting something, both of his hands glowing red. After a few seconds, Kuai Liang suddenly gasped for breath, his eyes shooting open and possessing an eerie red glow. Kuai's breath was coming out in a short sharp wheeze. Bi-Han wasn't sure he was aware enough to know what was happening. Quan Chi's chanting stopped, his hands still glowing.

"Lastly, I need to make sure this sticks," he growled, running his tongue under his teeth. He looked over at Bi-Han. "This is your last chance to back out, if I do this, he will not be able to be turned back, and will forever be one with the night."

"I want my brother back," Bi-Han snarled, getting tired of these games. Especially when he could see his brother breathing for the first time in 5 years. When he was so close to having him back. If he stopped now, all of this would be for nothing.

"Very well."

Quan Chi opened his mouth, before he lent down biting into Kuai's neck. Kuai made a pained and confused sound, but didn't fight what was happening. The glow of Quan Chi's hands slowly stopped, he removed them and as he did, Kuai's eyes stopped glowing. He didn't stop breathing though, just continued to lay still, eyes darting around like he was trying to figure out where he was. He saw Quan Chi unhinge his jaw, licking around the wound he had made before finally standing up straight.

"It is done," Quan Chi announced, reaching down to stroke Kuai's hair. When Bi-Han saw him flinch, it finally dawned on him that this was real.

Kuai Liang was alive again.

He rushed forward, taking Kuai's face in his hand. Kuai's eyes were unfocused, but he could see him frown like he was trying to figure out what he was looking at.

"Kuai Liang?" Bi-Han asked, feeling his heart well with emotion when Kuai's eyes widened in recognition. "Can you hear me? Are you okay?"

"B-Bi-Han?" Kuai stuttered out, blinking to clear his eyes. "I- W-what happened? I- I feel c-cold."

"That is normal," Quan Chi interrupted, as if he was anticipating Bi-Han to bite his head off about this. "He will get used to it."

"It's okay, Dìdì," he said as softly as he could. "You're safe now. I brought you back to me, and I am never going to let anything happen to you again."

He helped Kuai sit up, before wrapping his arms around his torso. He could feel him shivering against him. He felt Kuai lift his arms, slowly returning the hug, clinging to Bi-Han limply. It didn't matter, his strength would return to him with time, and he would be the same Kuai Liang he was before. Well, aside from the new challenges that came with vampirism, but they would deal with that together.

He had his brother back. Nothing else in the world mattered.

Kuai shivered, pulling the blanket around him slightly tighter, and pushed himself close to the radiator. No matter what he did, he just couldn't get warm. Quan Chi had claimed this was normal, at least for a vampire, and he would grow used to it but Kuai wasn't sure he'd ever get used to feeling this cold.

For a vampire.

Shit, that was what he was now, wasn't it? A vampire. A creature of the night. How the hell was he supposed to feel about that? Grateful? His brother had seemingly gone to extreme lengths to bring him back to life. Horrified? He was supposed to be dead, he had died 5 years ago. He shouldn't be here.

A particularly nasty chill sent shockwaves down his spine, and he audibly whimpered at it. Bi-Han's head snapped over to him, interrupting whatever he and Quan Chi were now talking about. Quan Chi looked extremely annoyed when Bi-Han walked back over to Kuai.

"Are you still cold? Do you need me to turn up the heat some more?" Bi-Han asked, placing his hand on Kuai's head to take his temperature.

"I've already told you," Quan Chi huffed, hands on his hips, "this is normal. He is undead, his body will no longer retain heat. He will get used to it."

"H-How l-long will it t-take?" Kuai asked, looking over to the man.

Quan Chi gave a frustrated sigh before he walked over himself, "I suppose, seeing as I am your sire, it is my place to teach you about how your body works now." Quan Chi bent down, placing a finger against Kuai's temple. "Your body should readjust in a few weeks, or a month if you are unlucky."

"What do you mean about being his sire?" Bi-Han questioned, his eyes narrowing. Kuai was starting to think that despite how long this had been planned out, his big brother hadn't done much research into what the aftermath would entail.

"It simply means that I was the one who turned him," Quan Chi said with a roll of his eyes. "It means we have certain obligations to each other."

"W-what-" before he could ask, Quan Chi had moved his finger over Kuai's lips.

"We don't need to go into that now," he stated in a hushed tone. "You are still in shock, you will need time to adjust before we can really go over the details." Kuai's eyes flicked over to Bi-Han who was staring at Quan Chi with a murderous look. Even when not looking at him, it seemed Quan Chi knew how Bi-Han was reacting as he said "you can stop looking at me like that Bi-Han, I warned you many times before we got this far that there would be certain links between myself and your little brother."

"You never mentioned anything like this," Bi-Han hissed.

"I did, you just didn't listen," Quan Chi snapped back, before a dark smirk crossed his face, "besides, I thought you said that any conditions would be worth having your precious Kuai Liang back?"

Bi-Han's face was going red, and his fists balling up. Kuai instinctively went to put a hand between them. Kuai knew this face, had seen it a million times. It was the face he generally made right before punching someone. While Kuai was certain Quan Chi deserved it, something about his general demeanour set off alarm bells in Kuai's head, he also knew there was a magical deal involved. He didn't know if attacking Quan Chi would cancel that deal, but he didn't really want to risk it.

Bi-Han opened his mouth and was about to say something, when Kuai felt himself go lightheaded. He closed his eyes and reopened them, suddenly feeling fuzzy, like he hadn't eaten in a while and his body was telling him to eat before he passed out. As usual, his brother immediately noticed something was amiss and cupped his chin.

"What's wrong?" Bi-Han glanced over to Quan Chi. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing," Quan Chi muttered, almost sounding fascinating. "That was faster than usual."

"What was?" Bi-Han hissed through clenched teeth, "what is wrong with him?"

"Oh would you stop your barking, you are worse than a chihuahua." Quan Chi stood up with a dismissive wave. Kuai could practically feel the anger rising from Bi-Han. "He needs to feed, that is all."

"F-feed?" Kuai asked, realising his earlier thoughts were actually quite accurate. However, given his new circumstances, he had a feeling that a sandwich wasn't going to fix this.

"You need to drink blood to survive," Quan Chi explained in a casual tone. "Usually it takes a few weeks for the newly turned to require their first feed, but..." Quan Chi put a hand under his chin and stared Kuai up and down, "I suppose being dead for so long has increased your need for blood."

"H-how oft-often will this happen?" He questioned, bracing himself against the couch feeling like he was unable to hold his own weight.

"Once a month usually does it," Quan Chi said with a shrug. "I should probably teach you how to hunt." Quan Chi held his hand out to Kuai, and he felt a strange dread come over him. "Let us go and find some prey."

Kuai wanted to protest, in part because referring to people as prey felt wrong. The other part was a sudden and weird desire to never be alone with this man. He couldn't explain it, but he had a feeling something bad would occur if it ever happened.

"That will not be necessary," Bi-Han cut in, and Kuai tried to not let his relief be visible. "I realised this would come up eventually and have already made arrangements."

"Well, aren't you resourceful," Quan Chi muttered in a bitter tone. Kuai felt that cold creep down his spine again, this time it was definitely not from the cold. Quan Chi looked downright livid he wasn't getting to do god knows what with Kuai in tow.

Yeah. Kuai decided there and then he was never going to be alone with his "sire".

Bi-Han picked up the phone in his office and pushed a button, ordering whoever was on the other end to come to them. Kuai sat in uneasy silence, unsure which felt worse, the idea of drinking from a stranger or someone he knew. As there was a knock on the door, before it opened to reveal Tomas, Kuai quickly came to the conclusion the latter was worse.

"What do you need, Boss?" Tomas asked, but his eyes kept flicking over to Kuai. It was the first time Kuai had seen him since he'd come back to life, and Kuai wondered if this situation felt as weird to Tomas as it did to him.

"Remember when I asked you to take on a very special role when Kuai Liang came back?" Bi-Han questioned, and Tomas' face lit up in recognition.

"Oh. You need me to do that already?" He sounded so casual about it.

How long ago had Bi-Han asked for this? Actually, how long had Bi-Han planned any of this? If he'd managed to get Kuai's body into a freezer before decay set it, it must have been soon after his death.

Kuai had zoned out, and before he knew it, Tomas was knelt in front of him and uncovering his neck. Kuai stared, feeling a weird urge to bite into his flesh. And then he looked at Tomas' face, and memories of them sat together playing video games, eating Chinese take out and giggling the whole night through came to mind. Oh god, he couldn't do this to his best friend.

"I- I can't," he whispered, turning away, "I'm- I'm sorry it's t-too weird."

"Kuai, it's alright," Tomas softly said, putting his hand on Kuai's thigh. "You need this, and I'm okay with it."

Kuai shut his eyes and shook his head. And then he heard Quan Chi chuckle.

"My offer still stands, if you would prefer it."

Kuai realised he was between a rock and a hard place. He knew damn well he didn't want to go with Quan Chi, especially when his body was still recovering from the trauma of being revived. The idea of drinking from Tomas really didn't sit well with him but he tried to think about this logically. Clearly, it seemed Bi-Han and Tomas had talked about this before. It was clear Tomas had agreed, but had it been under pressure? Kuai didn't know, he would just have to trust his best friend knew what he'd signed up for.

"W-won't f-feeding from s-someone turn them?" He questioned. It was bad enough him being forced to live like this, the idea of forcing anyone else to do that same was eating at him.

"No, that is a common misconception," Quan Chi explained, sounding annoyed again, clearly realising that Kuai was deciding to go with his friend rather than his sire. "Only those that are already dead can be turned. Your friend here will be quite safe, so long as you don't completely drain him."

Kuai had a feeling that was a strange jab to try and manipulate him. Why did Quan Chi want to go hunting with him so badly? Yes, there was now a strange connection between the two of them, but that almost felt like an excuse. What did Quan Chi want from him? What did he want from Bi-Han? There was something going on here, and Kuai wasn't sure what it was or why it was happening.

"T-Tomas, a-are you sure?" He questioned, ignoring the snort from Quan Chi as he did.

"Of course," Tomas replied, once more baring his neck to Kuai. That same hunger coursed through Kuai, licking his lips as he stared at the delicate veins. "I'm just glad to have you back, snowflake."

Kuai lent forward, brushing his teeth against Tomas' neck. Every instinct was telling him to bite, but not telling him where. He heard an annoyed grunt, foot steps walking over to him, and a hand grasping his hair.

"Here, this is where you bite if you want to do the least damage," Quan Chi instructed, pulling Kuai's hair to position him slightly more to the side. "I'm sure you can figure out the rest."

Kuai didn't really need to be told. He slowly bit down, feeling his now sharp fangs break Tomas' skin. His friend gave a heavy exhale, before reaching to cradle Kuai's head and encourage him. The taste of copper washed into his mouth, and Kuai was surprised by just how good it tasted. He began to suck, finding more blood pooling in his mouth, swallowing it. He felt lightheaded, but in a good way, almost like a drunken stupor.

So good, he was mostly able to ignore the way Quan Chi was looking at him. As Tomas whispered insurances for Kuai to keep going, he slowly became more aware that Quan Chi's gaze was just not leaving him. He looked over to him. While his balled up fists revealed he was still bitter about Kuai's choice, the dark smirk on his face seemed to suggest that he was undeterred, just scheming a new way of getting what he wanted.

Quan Chi clearly had plans for him, and Kuai Liang was determined to not be part of them.

≛❀≛ Next Chapter ⋟

[enthusiasticharry]

Second Best

summary: you and Harry meet at a party, but he seems to take more interest in your sister than in you, and you won't be Second Best. 

author’s note: bonjour mes chéris!! this is the first instalment of hannah being the history/french student she is and merging all three of her worlds and creating her own little fictional one. this is based off of lousia may alcott’s little women (one of may favourite books ever) but with my own little twist on it. this is set in the 1860′s during the civil war but i haven't made it too historical at all.  i have done all of the translations myself and even though i'm semi-fluent i still make mistakes so if you spot any let me know. this is so long so i'll shut up now, thanks for all the support bye!! <3

word count: 16k of good old fashioned marriage talk (there’s a lot of it, its all they spoke about tbf??), fluff, angst and a lil’ smut. there is marriage and children at the end (woo, exciting!) not proofread because my eyes are already asleep. 

masterlist   |    speak to me about second best here!

“Stand up straight, don’t slouch. You have a tendency to do so, and these people will not tolerate it.” You sister, Lizzie, says as she pushes her arm between yours, walking you towards the fancy house in front of the two of you, “Whatever you do, don’t speak about your art at all. Nobody can stop you once you’ve started. Do speak if you’re spoken too, and if you’re asked to dance, dance.”

You shake your head, “But I don’t want to dance.”

“You will dance.” Lizzie says again, squeezing your arm slightly, “You may find yourself a husband if you act proper enough.”

“I shouldn’t have to act proper just to find a husband, Lizzie.” You scoff, shaking your head, “If they don’t love me, oil paints and all, then I don’t want them. I don’t think I’ll ever find a husband.”

“Oh shush with you.” She says, tapping your arm slightly. It didn’t hurt, but it did cause your lips to part in shock, “How lovely would it be if father returned and you were married! It would make his life.”

“I think he’d have a heart attack.” You mutter, removing your arm from around hers as you stand outside of the door you were going to walk through in mere minutes, “I’m his little girl, you are also, Lizzie. If we were both to be married I’d think we’d kill him off.”

“You shouldn’t joke about that.”

“I’m not joking. I truly believe that would happen.” You deadpan.

She scoffs and slips her arm through yours this time, using her free hand to ring the bell. A man wearing one of the fanciest suits you’ve ever seen in your life opens the door, allowing the two of you to slip through. You help Lizzie remove her shawl, whilst she does the same to you. The man hangs them up amongst the array of other jackets. You lips part in shock at the sight of the house you were in, the first thing your eyes falling upon being the large staircase, with paintings littering the walls. For once, you were speechless, unable to control your excitement and want to gawk at the art upon the wall.

“Lizzie!” You gasp, gripping her arm tightly, “Look at the—”

“Don’t you dare say paintings!”

“Lizzie!” You groan again, pulling her arm so that she’s looking your direction, “Look at them.”

“I’m looking at them.” She lifts her eyes to look at the wall you were looking at, where the pieces hung with such grace and elegance, “They don’t seem too spectacular.”

A shocked gasp escapes your lips, “Take that back, Lizzie! They are beautiful!

“If you say so.”

She removes you from your awe of the paintings and pulls you towards the ballroom. There’s people everywhere, the most amount of people you think you’ve ever seen in your life. You watch as they mingle with glasses of Champagne in their hands, the expensive material of their dresses sparkling in the light from the chandelier. Men stood wooing the women before them, flicking their suit jackets and inviting them to dance. The dresses the women were wearing were something out of dreams. You weren’t the biggest fan of dresses, in fact, you lived in trousers around the house, but you couldn’t help feeling embarrassed about your tattered dress. You’ve had the dress for a year or so, and the holes and rips and anything else you’d manage to do to the material could be seen in the light even if you’d fixed it.

“Lizzie!” The call comes from somebody who you don’t recognise, but Elizabeth certainly did and before the syllables of her name could escape your lips, she’s gone. You watch as your sisters whisked away with the crowd, leaving you stood there with no clue as to what to do.

Gripping the material of your dress, you slip yourself to stand by one of the doorways, away from the hustle and bustle of everyone in the room, but close enough for you to be able to watch. Lizzie stands in the middle, just as she always is, with a group of people around her. She was always the centre of attention, the one that everyone loved — you included. You were only a few years younger than her, but you were the only siblings each of you had, so you were close. You had your disagreements, that was certain, but you always came back stronger. You weren’t shocked when you noticed her spinning around holding some man’s hand, dancing away with a smile on her face that always made your insides happy. If she was happy, you were happy.

“Not one for dancing?” You eyes almost bulge out of your head as you hear a voice next to you, a male one at that.

“Oh, um, not really.” You laugh, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, “I’m not a very good dancer. I don’t really like dancing, to be completely honest.”

“Everyone loves dancing.” The man says, and you’re able to get a good look at him. A black suit, with a crisp-white shirt sits upon his torso. His hair was a fluffy brown, a chestnut that you found yourself in awe of. His green eyes ones of masterpieces, better than any art you could ever see upon any wall in any gallery, “I believe you are just lying.”

“I am not.” You shake you head, “My sister told me that if anyone asked me to dance I must say yes, but I have decided that I mustn’t. I have two left feet and anyone who is to ever dance with me will regret it, I know of it.”

“I highly doubt that.” He shakes his head, sipping from the glass he had in his hand, “Your sister shouldn’t force you do dance either.”

“Oh.” You shake your head, “Lizzie isn’t forcing me to dance, she just wants the best for me. Dancing is how people meet.”

“It’s how we met.” He says after a few seconds.

You let out a small chuckle, running your tongue over your lips slightly, “Sir, pardon me, but I don’t even know your name.”

“Harry.” He smiles, “M’names Harry.”

“Oh!” You exclaim again, “Harry Styles! You’ve just moved in next door with your father! Mother saw you the other day.”

“You must be—”

“—YN YLN.” You hold your hand out for him to shake, immediately shaking your head and pulling it back, “I’m so sorry, Mr. Styles, Lizzie forgot to remind me to not shake hands. It’s not very ladylike, I know.”

“It’s perfectly okay.” He holds his hand out, and you bite your lip and shake it, “And please don’t call me Mr. Styles. I’m not my father. Call me Harry.”

“Harry.” The name slips from your lips, “I think Lizzie would die if she saw me talking to you.”

“If I may, would you show me Lizzie?” He asks and you nod.

You nod and turn back to the crowd, fluttering your eyes across all of the people in hopes to spot your sister. She was wearing red, the colour which suited her the most in your opinion, so she wasn’t too hard to spot. She was dancing in the middle of the room with a man with blonde hair, a suit similar to the one that Harry was wearing upon his body. She looked happy, and the sight caused a smile to flutter across your lips.

“She’s in the middle there.” You say, nodding your head in the girls direction, “The one in the red dress.”

You turn to look at Harry and once his eyes fall upon your sister, you can tell that the whole world stops around him. His lips part, his eyes widen and if you look closely you can see the reflection of the red dress in his eyes. You’re unsure how long he’s staring at her, but you’re staring at him for the exact same amount of time.

“It’s a. . .” He fumbles with his words after a few seconds, lifting his hands to scratch the back of his neck, “It’s a beautiful dress.”

“It is.” You agree, “Mother let her save up her allowance to buy the material. I should’ve done the same but I spent mine on paints.”

“You paint?” His raises his eyebrow, finally looking back at you.

You nod, “I love to.”

“Then you have every right to spend your money on paints.” He says, and you try to hide the heat that falls upon your cheeks, “You dress is perfectly swell

“It’s not beautiful though.”

“It’s swell, YN.” He reminds you again, “I’m sure you’ll get a beautiful dress at some point.” 

Then you’ve lost him. You’re not surprised, though. Everyone prefers Lizzie to you, it’s just how it’s always been. You watch the back of him as he walks towards your sister, taking the world in his stride behind him as he does so. You watch as she courtesy’s for the man she has just danced with, and before Lizzie can go anywhere, she’s scooped up to dance with Harry. Maybe if you had bought the Emerald material your mother had wanted you to, Harry would be dancing with you right now instead of Lizzie. Maybe if you hadn’t been so against dancing in the first place he might’ve asked you to dance.

No, you wouldn’t stoop to that level for a man of all people. If Harry didn’t want to dance with you, ‘swell dress’ and all then you weren’t going to change yourself, no matter how much you wanted to, for a mere man.

“YN!” Lizzie delightful glee of your name came after their dance had died down. Lizzie came bouncing towards you, a just as bashful Harry following behind her, “Harry has offered to take us home in his carriage!”

“Now?” You ask, your heart hopeful that they’d both say yes.

Lizzie turns to look at Harry who shrugs his shoulders slightly, “If the two of you want to, we can.”

“Oh no.” Lizzie places her hand upon his shoulder, “We couldn’t dare take you away from the festivities. We will wait until you’re finished.”

“I’m ready to leave myself, Miss YLN.” He says to Lizzie, the same heat falling upon her cheeks as you had felt earlier.

“Please. Call me Lizzie.”

“Okay, Lizzie.” He grins, “I’ll just go fetch the carriage, see you by the front door?”

Lizzie nods, and you give him a small smile and watch as he walks towards the door. You try not to stare as he shrugs on his coat but it’s hard to, and you know that Lizzie is feeling the exact same way that you are.

“Oh YN.” She gushes, turning to you and placing her hands upon your shoulder, “He’s a perfect gentlemen.”

“Is that so?” You ask, walking towards the door also to fetch your shawl, shrugging it on your shoulders.

“It is.” She copies your actions with her own, “He asked to dance, saying that you were the one to introduce me to him. I can’t thank you enough, dear sister.” 

“It’s no issue.” You shake off, turning away from her so that she can’t see the fall in your face, “He seemed to take a fancy to you once I’d pointed you out from the crowd.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes.” You nod your head, turning to look at her. Her shawl was scraggly thrown upon her body, probably from how distracted she was, and you lean forward to sort it for her whilst she gleams over your shoulder at nothing. You wonder if this is what it was like to meet your husband, butterflies and distractions from that moment on. It hadn’t happened yet for you, and seeing the way Lizzie was acting, you decided that you didn’t really want it happen, “Couldn’t take his eyes off you, sweet one.”

She squeals and wraps her arms around you, squeezing you slightly. You were happy that she was happy, and you wouldn’t take that away from her.

The door opened, revealing a blushed faced Harry due to the cold outside, “Ready?”

“YN!” Your mother calls from the floor below you, “Can you please come and set the table?” 

You groan and remove your paintbrush from your canvas. The day prior you had been given a small sum of money from your Aunt Jemima after visiting and immediately gone to the store in town to pick up some new canvases. It was heaven to receive little amounts of money like these and you almost always spent it on canvases so you wouldn’t have to use paper, which was the cheaper alternative that you had to buy. 

“I’m a little busy!” You call back, moving so that you can shout out of your door, “Can you ask Lizzie?” 

“She isn’t here!” Your mother calls back and you groan. You place your palette down on the table beside you, as well as your brushes in the pot of water you had brought up with you. You wipe your hands on your apron before pulling it over your head and off your body. You drape it over your bed carefully, being careful to not get anything on the linen.

You bounce down the steps, tucking your hair that falls down in ringlets by the side of your face behind your ear. Entering the kitchen, you place a kiss to your mother’s cheek. She stands over the side, chopping some vegetables that she’s going to bring to boil for your dinner. She greets you with a smile and continues chopping. 

“Is Lizzie with Harry?” You ask, placing the cutlery beside each mat on the table, noticing that there were four like there had started to be now.

“Of course she is.” Your mother shakes her head, “They’re always somewhere causing trouble.” 

You had to suppress your grin. Lizzie had been the good girl of the family for so long, always doing everything that was asked of her and your were the one who tended to ignore requests so that you could continue doing whatever you wanted to. Since Lizzie had met Harry, that had been completely flipped upside down. You were the good girl of the family who did everything that was asked of you, and Lizzie was the one always getting out of doing things by sneaking off with Harry. 

Since the two had met just over two months ago, they had been inseparable. When the two of you weren’t being taught how to read and write by your mother, Lizzie was always somewhere doing something with Harry. The other week he had taken her to the theatre and words couldn’t explain how jealous you were. You and Lizzie did everything together, and you always had done, but now you felt second best to someone who she hardly knew. You knew a part of you was jealous, but you would never admit that. What you did admit to yourself was that you were lonely and missing your sister. 

“Is Harry staying for supper?” You ask, filling up the water jug to be placed upon the table. 

“I’m guessing so.” Your mother says, moving to bend down by the fire to check on the meat, “It’s ready. Will you go get them? I think they’re by the river.” 

You nod your head, moving to the front door to retrieve your shawl and boots. They were always at the river, as though it was there place. You couldn’t understand for the life of you why they’d chosen that place out of all, especially during the winter months. Snow was just around the corner and the two of them decided to spend their days moments away from catching a cold by the river. 

The walk itself was five or so minutes through the woods behind your house, watching your step for fallen branches and wild animals. Lizzie was usually the one who brought you to the lake, so it was a given that you hadn’t been in a while. 

Once the trees start to disperse, you stand in the middle of the opening to try and spot them. You do, quite quickly in fact. They’re stood by the water, picking up stones every now and then to skim across it, rippling the stillness with their movements. Skimming stones felt like a normal thing to see people doing, but once you watch Lizzie throw her arms around his neck, you feel like a little portion of you crumbles inside. You hadn’t seen them like this before, and you never ever wanted to see them like that again. 

“Lizzie!” You call, snapping them out of their trance so that they turn to look at you. Lizzie immediately removes her arms from around Harry’s neck.

“Is there something wrong?” 

“No.” You shake your head, “Mother just asked me to collect the two of you for supper.” 

The two nod and move around where they were stood to collect their things but you don’t wait for them. Instead, you turn around and walk back towards the house. You can hear them laughing but you refuse to look back, because you know that you won’t be able to handle it. The temperature drops dramatically as you walk back, and you pull your shawl closer to you to help preserve some heat. You had a suspicion that at some point this evening it would start snowing, which you weren’t too unhappy about. It would give you time to finish the painting you started today, and hopefully create some more. 

They aren’t close behind you as you reach the door, so you enter and immediately walk towards the table which is looking a lot fuller than it had been. 

“Are they coming?” Your mother asks and you nod, sitting down at the table. They enter a few minutes later, Harry greeting your mother with a kiss on the cheek. 

The three join you at the table, Harry next to you, Lizzie next to him and your mother sat next to the spare seat — where your father usually sat. You all join hands in saying grace, your hand feeling completely natural sat in his. The way his encompassed yours was something that will be etched into your brain for the rest of the day, and for the days after that. It isn’t a light hold either, it’s a prominent one, and his fingers squeeze yours tightly. You drop your eyes to your plate, unable to look up at him because you’re unsure of what his features may hold. 

You don’t say anything over the dinner, you just listen to their words. It’s all about Harry’s time in London, like it usually was, and the rest about what the two had been up too. Your mother asks the dreaded question, and yet again, you ignore any word that comes out of their mouths.

It was inevitable at this point that Harry and Lizzie, at some point, were going to marry each other. You were surprised that Harry hadn’t proposed yet, if you were honest. If soulmates were a thing, no matter how much it pained you to believe, you wouldn’t be surprised if they were the example. You wouldn’t ever say anything to anyone about this, but you do think a part of you wished that was you in her place. You wished that you were the one that he smiled at, held hands with, kissed upon the cheek as she left. 

After the dinner had finished, you had returned up to your room and lit your candle, leaning against the window frame to peer outside. They stood by the gate, Harry’s hand holding hers and her hand holding is. They looked as though they truly loved each other and what you expected to be a measly kiss on the cheek like it usually was, wasn’t that at all. A little part of you died inside when you saw him lean forward and place a kiss upon her lips, his hand lifting up to rest against her cheek. You managed to draw yourself away from the window after you’d watched for a while or so, slipping under your sheets and into your linen, turning so that you’re facing the wall. A few minutes or so later, you hear the door open and the rustling of clothes and you suspect Lizzie gets ready for bed. You try not cry but you can already feel the tears starting to fall down your face.

“YN.” You hear the soft whisper of your voice over the crackle of the candle that was still on in the room, “Are you awake?” 

“Yes.” You manage out through the hesitation within your voice. 

After a few seconds, and a slight giggles escaping her lips, “He kissed me, YN.” 

“Oh.” You try not to sound like you’re upset, “Are you going to marry him?” 

“He hasn’t asked me.” She’s quick to say, “But I think he might.” 

A month or so later, you’re stood in front of a carriage, one that sits Lizzie inside on her way to Etiquette Lessons. Every young lady in the village had to go to them when they reached a certain age to make sure that they are properly prepared for how to look after their husbands when the day comes. You weren’t quite at the age yet, but Lizzie was. 

You had given her a hug, and watched your mother kiss her cheeks and hug her, but you now found yourself watching something that you had seen so many times now. Harry and Lizzie stood by the door of the open carriage, her hands in his as they whisper and chuckle at whatever they’re talking about. You can’t hear what they say, but you can tell it’s emotional from the tears that are running down his face. 

You mother wraps her arm around your shoulder, squeezing your shoulder. You wondered if she knew. You hadn’t said anything to her, but she always seemed to know what was going on in your life even if you hadn’t told her anything. 

Harry helped Lizzie into the carriage, and closed the door for her before coming to stand next to you. Your eyes fluttered up to look at him for a second, but he didn’t even look anywhere near you, he was watching the carriage as it left. The love of his life was leaving in it, so I’m not surprised he did so. 

“Mother.” You say quickly once the carriage had turn off the path, “Can I return and paint?” 

“Of course you can.” She places a hand on one of your cheeks and a kiss to the other, “Take Harry with you. He’ll need the company.” 

You turn to look at him, and he just shrugs, so you nod. You return back to the house with Harry trailing behind you, looking like a lost puppy. The way his eyes seemed to droop, as well as his hair, all hinted to the fact that he was actually upset that she was leaving. He follows you into the room, and sits on the end of Lizzie’s bed whilst you pulled your paints out of your drawer. 

“I’ve only been in here once before.” He says after a few seconds, running his hand over the linen of her sheets, “You were out. Something about Aunt Jemima.” 

“Oh.” You start to face place some of your paints upon your palette, “I read to her, sometimes, and she pays me so I can buy paints. I’m hoping that one day she’ll take me to Europe with her.” 

“Europe?” He asks, “You want to go?” 

“More than anything.” You sigh, swirling your brush in the green paint you had just placed upon your palette, “More specifically I’m hoping she takes me France. I’ll be able properly practice my art then.” 

“Can you not do that here?” 

You hesitate for a second, hovering your brush over the canvas slightly, “I’ll be better suited if I go there. People will care more about my work.” 

“It’s beautiful work.” He says after a few seconds, “I don’t know how France would change that.” 

You think for a second about how to explain this to him, “Think of it like Etiquette school. The girls go and return as better wives than if they hadn’t gone. They would’ve been good wives, but not as good without the school.” 

“I don’t think I understand.” 

“My art is good without France, just like the wives are without Etiquette class, but they are better with it. My art will be better with France.” 

You turn around to see him nod his head, “I think I understand.” 

“A part of it is also me wanting to leave this town.” You say, turning back around so that you can place your paintbrush back upon your canvas. 

“I cannot fault you for that.” He says, and you turn to him again, only to see that he’s laid back upon the bed, a hand over his eyes, “Sometimes I wish I could leave.” 

“Why don’t you?” You ask, “If one of us had the beings necessary to leave it would be you?” 

“Beings necessary?” He pushes himself up on his elbow so that he’s looking directly at you, “And what would be those necessary beings?” 

“Money, for one.” You say, moving so that you’re sat on your bed, looking straight at him, “Carriages. Knowledge of the world. The furthest I’ve ever gone is the neighbouring town and that was to drop something off for my mother.” 

“Why don’t you leave then?” 

You chuckle, raising your eyebrows, “I plan on it.” 

“Ice Skating.” Harry says as he walks through your bedroom door, holding two pairs of ice skates in your hands. 

“Harry!” You exclaim, placing your hand upon your chest at the shocked sight of him, “I could’ve been indecent and you would have never known!”

“But you aren’t.” He tips his head to the side, “Ice Skating. We’re going ice skating. The lake has frozen over and it’s perfect.” 

“Are we now?” You ask, placing your palette down upon the table next to your easel, “Is Mr. Styles bored of his mansion.” 

“I’m going to loose my mind.” He drops down on your sisters bed, the skates clattering to the floor as he does so, “Please come ice skating with me.” 

“Harry.” You sigh, pulling your painting apron off, “I don’t even know how to ice skate.” 

“Then I will teach you.” He says. 

After a few seconds of contemplation, you nod your head, “I’ll do it if you let me paint you.” 

“Deal.” 

Over the past two weeks you and Harry had grown close. Not as close as Harry and your sister, but close enough for you to class him as one of your good friends. The two of you had started to do everything together, similarly to him and Lizzie but with some barriers. You hugged each other but you certainly weren’t as touchy deeply as they were with each other. You couldn’t do it to your sister, so you avoided doing anything that would be seen as wrong.

 You did feel sorry for Harry. He had told you that he had sent three letters to Lizzie during this time and she hadn’t even replied to one. You weren’t quite sure why, but that was quite despicable on her part. The poor man was making himself sick with how much he was worrying about her, and you were the one who had seen it, and been the one to try and get him out of it. One of the things that you had begged him to let you do was paint him, but he kept rejecting your proposal. Instead, he told you that he liked to enjoy watching you paint rather than having you paint him. 

You were excited to say the least that he had agreed to let you paint him, and you certainly weren’t going to miss that opportunity. 

“Slow down.” You call to Harry, who’s around ten strides a head of you as you waddle your way with your dress in your hands through the snow, “I can’t keep up with you.” 

“Walk faster then.” He says, turning to look at you with a grin across his face. 

You groan and try to pick up the pace, nearly slipping a few times on some particularly icy parts of the ground but you make it to the lake in once piece. Harry passes you the skates he had picked up for you and you thank him for passing them to you. You kick your shoes off and fasten the skates, just as he does the same. 

“Stay away from the middle.” He says, “It’s thinner than the edge.” 

“I think you’re forgetting something.” You say as you try to stable yourself on the blades, “I have not idea what I’m doing.” 

“It’s like walking, but on ice.” He deadpans and you resist the urge to roll your eyes, “I’ll let you hold my hand if you want.” 

He holds his hand out and without really thinking you place your hand in his, allowing him to guide you onto the ice. His hand was cold, but so was yours, but having his in yours sent little flames across the entirety of your body. 

At first you were unsteady on your feet, and you’re sure that you could’ve nearly broke Harry’s hand with how tightly you were squeezing it. He chuckled and made sure that you were continuously upright. After five minutes or so, you found the swing of what you were doing, and managed to move forward without any wobbles.

“I’m letting go of you.” 

“No!” You exclaim, gripping his hand tighter so that he wouldn’t be able to pull away from you, “I’ll fall.” 

“You won’t fall.” He chuckles, trying to pull his hand away again. “I will.” You shake your head, “Please, don’t.” 

“You’re not going to fall.” 

“I am.” 

“You’re not.” 

He somehow manages to release his hand from yours and skate backwards away from you, leaving you on your own. You hold your hands out, straightening them as though that’s going to help balance you out. With the little momentum you had left, you moved forward slightly until you came to a halt, where you pick up one of your feet to push forward and move forward. You manage to do it, without falling which surprises you. 

“Harry!” You exclaimed, beaming at him, “I’m doing it.” 

“I told you that you would.” He smiles, tilting his head to the side, “Shall we?” 

“We shall.” You smile, and the two of you continue off across the ice. 

Everything seems to be going well and good until you manage to catch your blade in a slit in the ice and go tumbling forward, going over on your ankle as you do so. You drop to the ground with a thud, a throbbing immediately falling upon your ankle. 

“Harry. . .” His name escapes your lips through the the hiss of pain you let out. 

“Are you injured?” He’s quick to ask, skating over to you as quickly as he possible could. 

“My ankle.” You say, “I think I’ve sprained it.” 

“You probably have.” He’s quick to say, “Lift up slightly, I’ll carry you back home.” 

You shake your head, “You don’t have to do that.”  

“What are you going to?” He laughs, “Crawl?” 

“I might.” 

“You wouldn’t make it home for Christmas.” He bends down, “Come here.” 

You lift your hand up and wrap your hands around his neck, allowing him to place his hands underneath your knees. He looks at you with a small smile on his face and skates back to the edge of the lake, placing you on the floor for a second so that you could both remove your skates. 

“How did you get so good at skating?” You ask, returning to your prior position his arms. 

“Home.” He says, “In England. It’s cold year round there, and the lakes are often frozen. My mother taught me.” 

“You don’t talk about you mother.” 

“She died when I was young.” He says, not looking at you the way that he had been, “I don’t remember a lot about her.” 

“I’m sorry.” You say, “I didn’t mean to pry.” 

“You didn’t.” He shakes his head, “You were merely curious.” 

You drop your eyes to the white around the two of you, “My mother says that my curiosity may get me in trouble one of these days.” 

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” He chuckles, “But that’s something that makes you, you.” 

Without really thinking, you say the next few words, “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me.” 

He shakes his head, “You don’t mean that.” 

“I do.” You nod your head, “There’s nothing special about me. I’m no Lizzie YLN.” 

“No.” He shakes his head, “You aren’t Lizzie, but you are YN. This world doesn’t need anymore Lizzie’s in it.” 

“I thought maybe you’d have a thousands Lizzie’s if you could.” 

“I wouldn’t need a thousand if I could have the one.” 

“You do have you.” 

He shakes his head, “I told her before she went that there was no need for Etiquette classes because to be my wife all I wanted was her. Lizzie wanted to go to get the best experience she possibly could.” 

“You respected that?” 

He looks directly over you again, “Why wouldn’t I?” 

“We all know what actually happens at Etiquette classes, Harry.” 

Harry only nods his head once, not saying anything else. He still carries you home, one of his arms rested comfortable under his knee whilst the other rests behind your back. You hoped you hadn’t offended him, but there was no way for you to know. 

Etiquette classes, as a whole, were to teach young women the proper ways of being a wife during the day, and through the night thy would attend balls and such. The balls were so the women could hopefully meet eligible, rich men who they were hopefully going to marry. If you were already meant to marry someone else, it didn’t seem like a right thing to go to this place where the people were always after one thing. 

As your feelings grew for Harry, you wondered whether Lizzie’s had diminished and that was why she decided to go to the classes. You certainly shouldn’t want that, but you couldn’t lie and say that a part of you did.

“Mrs. YLN?” You mother comes running towards the two of you at Harry’s call of her name, “We’ve had a little accident.” 

“What have you done now?” 

“I went over on my ankle.” You deadpan. 

“Harry will you get me some ice?” He nodded and moved towards the kitchen whilst you mother freed your ankle and rested it upon her knee. 

He came back with ice wrapped in a cloth and passed it to your mother who placed it upon your ankle. 

“Thank you for bringing her home, Harry.” 

“It’s no problem.” 

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” 

“I shouldn’t.” He shakes his head, “Thank you for the offer, though. But I should be returning home.” 

“Pass my love onto your father.” 

“I will.” 

He throws you once last look, one that you can’t quite pinpoint the emotion of. After a few seconds he drops his eyes, and walks out of the door without looking back. You turn to look at your mother, who’s got a skeptical look upon her face as she looks at you. 

“What is it?” 

“Does he know?” 

“Does he know what?” 

A small smile crosses her lips, “That you love him.” 

You lips part in shock before you clamp them shut, “I. . . I feel no such thing.” 

“You had just lied to me, child.” She shakes her head, “I know love when I see it.” 

“Mother.” You shake your head, “He loves Lizzie.” 

“I know.” She places her hand upon your cheek, “You’ll be the one to pick up the pieces when she breaks his heart.” 

Lizzie was due to return home today, on Christmas Eve of all days, and the house certainly looked as though it was ready for her.

You, your mother and Harry had spent quite a while this year decorating the house to be as Christmassy as possible. The thing that you still think about to this day was jumping on Harry’s back so he could lift you up to reach the star, your mother smiling as she watched the two of you. 

The carriage returned at around midday. You were stood next to Harry at the end of the garden, with you mother next to him. The carriage came to a halt and the driver was the one to open the door, Lizzie immediately tumbling out and throwing her arms around your mother who had taken a few steps forward. 

She didn’t look like Lizzie, in your opinion. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a tight bun, the dress upon her body looking more expensive than the ones that she had gone with. The material was a blushed pink colour, with fancy detailing upon the corset and a puffy skirt that was one of the biggest that you had ever seen in your life. Lizzie looks happy to see your mother to say the least, but you’re quite surprised when she moves to you next instead of Harry. 

“Hello!” She throws her arms around your shoulder, placing her head on your shoulder whilst you placed yours on hers, the material of her fancy coat hitting your cheek. You hadn’t seen anything quite like it before, never mind felt anything quite like it before, “I’ve missed you so much. How are you?” 

“Well, thank you.” You pull away. clearing your throat and wiping your hands upon your skirt slightly, “The same old. It’s you who I should be asking that question to.” 

She smiles and pulls away, holding her small bag close to herself as she looks at the person stood next to you. Harry looks as though he’s about to cry, and so does Lizzie if you’re being brutally honest. The two of them needed to be alone, and you understood that. When your mother motioned you to follow her back into the house, you didn’t hesitate with your movements, following her back into the house. 

“I feel as though dinner might be late tonight.” You mother says as she closes the door behind you, fumbling to take off her scarf, “I feel like they might be out there for a while. Why don’t you go up and finish your painting?” 

You nod your head, not wanting to say anything. You remove your outdoor gear and race up the stairs. You know you shouldn’t, but you immediately run to the window to see whether you can see the two of them, but you’re unable to. 

Lizzie looked like a different person, but she sounded like Lizzie when she opened her mouth. The clothes that she wore might have changed but she was still your sister, the same sister who had the man you loved following her around like a lost puppy. Lizzie was the same Lizzie as she always had been, and that meant that she probably did feel the same way about Harry as she did before she left. There was a selfish streak in you that wished that wasn’t the case, and she had completely forgot about her feelings for Harry and had met someone else, but until you properly had a conversation with the girl, you couldn’t be too sure that was the case. You couldn’t be sure either that if that had happened, Harry would want you in that way. 

You found yourself unable to paint, so you dropped down upon your bed and sat with your back against the wall, watching the outside world as your thoughts danced around within your head. You found the thoughts spiralling through your head that you were still a young woman at the end of the day, one who could have a line of men wanting to marry you but you instead found yourself second best to your sister, and that shouldn’t be happening. No matter how much you loved the man, or had grown to be accustomed to his company, being second best wasn’t something that you had set your heart on being, and you wouldn’t be for him.

You were the first YLN he had met, yet he had chosen your sister first and he was going to lay in that bed now. 

“YN!” You mother called from downstairs, “They’re here.” 

Christmas Eve dinner, to say the least, was one that you’d never forget. Harry looked as though he was either going to burst out crying or kill someone at any moment, Lizzie looked exhausted and your mother and yourself were sat in the middle of the two of you trying to make ends meet of what had happened. Harry’s eyes caught yours once, but he was quick to flutter them away and take another forkful of vegetables and place it in his mouth. 

“Lizzie, you haven’t told YN and I anything about your time away.” Your mother started, probably not the best topic of conversation but one that would split up the silence hopefully, “Did you enjoy yourself?” 

“I did.” She wipes her mouth upon her napkin, “I had an amazing time. Met some amazing people. Actually, there is one person that I’ve invited for you to meet for the new year.” 

“You have?” Your mother raises her eyebrow, “How wonderful.” 

“His name is Theodore.” 

That’s all it takes for Harry’s fork to clatter to the plate, his chair screech across the floor and his body to stand up. 

“I’m, uh, truly sorry Mrs. YLN.” He says, “The meal was lovely but I’m not feeling very well so I think it’s best that I go home.” 

“Are you alright?” 

“I will be.” He nods his head, clearing his throat and scratching the back of his neck, “So sorry again, have an amazing Christmas.” 

“You too, Harry.” 

Once the doors closed, Lizzie’s the next person to drop her cutlery and sulk off upstairs. The slamming of the bedroom door shakes the whole house. You place another bit of potato into your mouth and slowly chew whilst looking at your mother. 

She sighs, “Will you go check on your sister for me?” 

“But—”

“You’ll get to see him later, don’t worry.” She says, “I’m going to plate him and his father some food. God knows they won’t eat without it, and you can take it over for me.” 

You nod your head, taking a sip from your glass of water before standing up and making your way upstairs. You cam hear Lizzie’s cries before you open the door, and you know that its because of what had obviously happened before the two of them had come to lunch. You push the door open, to see her laid on her bed face down, her head deep within her pillow. You push the door closed behind you and back up until your back is directly placed upon the solid wood. 

“Are you engaged to him?” You say, looking down at your shoes so that you don’t have to make eye contact with her. 

You can hear the bed creek beneath her as she moves, but you still don’t look up, “To who?” 

“To Theodore.” 

“No.” You lift your eyes up just as she shakes her head, “I’m not.” 

“But you want to be.” 

“What makes you think that?” 

You scoff and shake your head, crossing your arms over your chest, “You forget that I’m your sister, Lizzie. I know you better than you know yourself.” 

After a few seconds, she speaks again, “He’s going to propose.” 

“He is?” You take a few steps forward until you’re sat upon your bed, directly across from her, “Why, Lizzie?” 

“We’re in love.” She quickly says, her eyes bulging out the way that they do when she starts to get upset, “When you’re in love, you get married YN.” 

“I thought you were in love with Harry.” 

“I love Harry.” She says, shaking her head, “But I’m not in love with him. I love him as a best friend.” 

“He loves you.” 

“I know.” She shakes her head, “I just didn’t love him the way I love Theodore. He’s just so kind, and so gentle and he makes me feel things that I just haven’t felt before.” 

The way that she stands up immediately makes your mind immediately fall to a place that you know isn’t where it should be. Your eyes widen and she looks at you the exact way that you know that what you thought is right. 

“Lizzie.” You voice comes out as a whisper, and you shake your head, “You didn’t.” 

“I love him, YN.” She shakes her head, “And he loves me.” 

“We always said we’d save that until marriage.” You shake your head, “You told me that’s what you have to do.” 

She sits down on the bed next to you, reaching so that her hands are placed upon both of your shoulders, “And you do. Promise me you will, YN.” 

“I will.” You quickly say, “I promise, I will.” 

“Good.” She sighs, dropping her hands from your shoulders, “You will not end up like me, I won’t let you.” 

“How have you ended up?” 

She looks at you with tears in her eyes, “I think I’m pregnant, YN.” 

You were holding a basket of food that your mother had collated for Harry and his father. You had knocked upon the door once and now you were stood, waiting for someone to open the door and let you in from the cold. The temperature had certainly dropped since you had been outside earlier, but you weren’t surprised at that fact. 

“Miss. YLN.” Harry’s father opens the door. You’ve only ever met him once, and from what Harry has told you, he’s quite a cold man, “May I ask why you’re here?” 

“Uh, my mother sent you and Harry some food over.” You say, holding up the basket within your hands, “I just came to deliver it.” 

“Please.” He says, “Come in.” 

You step through the threshold of the house, entering one that was three times the size of your own but just as empty as yours. 

“I’ll take that to the kitchen for you.” He says, holding his hands out so you can place the basket within them, “H is upstairs, in the library. Third door on the left.”  

“Thank you.” 

The stairs themselves were probably bigger than your entire house, and as you ran your hand across the wood of the banister you couldn’t believe how expensive it felt beneath your fingers. You followed Mr. Styles’ instruction and walked along the grand hallway until you found the third door on the left. It was slightly ajar, so you placed your hand upon the wood and push it open, the door creaking as you did so. 

Your mouth drops open at the sight of the room in front of you. When Mr. Styles said Library you thought it may have been a small room with bookshelves in it, but it wasn’t, it was a full library at the most. It was full of the most books you’ve ever seen anywhere, floor to ceiling bookshelves. You couldn’t help your want to run your fingers across every single cover. 

You spot Harry sat at the window, his knees bent and a book placed open upon them. You cross your hands in front of you, taking a few steps towards Harry. The sound of your shoes against the wooden floor notifies Harry that you’re there, and he lifts his eyes to look at you. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, closing the book that he had open. 

You take a few more steps towards him, sitting at the opposite side of windowsill to him, “I should be asking you that question.” 

He chuckles, lifting his leg up again so that it’s on the windowsill, “I’m okay.” 

“I don’t believe that.” You shake your head, coping him so your feet are up also and you’re facing him, “Tell me truthfully. How are you?” 

He shakes his head, dropping his eyes down to his knees, “She doesn’t want to marry me.” 

“You asked?” 

“Today.” He nods, looking back at you again, “I had a ring.” 

After a few seconds you whisper, “Can I see it?” 

“See what?” 

“The ring.” 

He opens his jacket and fumbles around in the inside pocket, bringing out a small blue velvet box which he throws towards you. You catch it, nearly dropping it but you manage to keep it in your hands. You raise your eyebrow at him and he offers a small smile, one that you knew wasn’t the most truthful of how he’s feeling.

You open the box and see a beautiful ring in the box. The ring itself was silver, but the thing that drew your and probably Harry to it was the gem. It looked to be diamond, not a large one at that but one that was a lovely sized. The light from the window caused the diamond to glimmer slightly, a gasp escaping from your lips.

“Harry.” You shake your head, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, “It’s beautiful.” 

“I thought so too.” He says, running his thumb across his bottom lip before shrugging his shoulders, “Lizzie didn’t think so.” 

“It’s not because of you, Harry.” You quickly say, “Nothing to do with you.” 

“It must’ve been, YN.” He says, “You’re sister doesn’t want to marry me. Me! Not anyone else.” 

“She can’t marry you, Harry.” You say, the tears starting to collect in your eyes, “I don’t know whether if situations were different she would marry you, but in this situation it isn’t your fault. I can promise you that.” 

You watch a tear fall down is cheek, “Has she met someone else?” 

You look away, pursing your lips and closing your eyes to try and stop the tears from falling down your cheeks, “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

“Is it Theodore? Is she engaged to him?” 

“She will be.” You say, standing up and moving so that you’re in front of him, placing your hand upon his knee, “I’m so sorry, Harry.” 

“It’s not your fault.” 

“She’s my sister.” 

“You’re not in charge of her.” 

You reach forward and place your hand upon his cheek, using your thumb to delicately wipe the next year that falls out of his eye. His tilts his head slightly so that it’s nicely rested within your hand, and you smile at him, which his returns. 

“Did she ever love me?” 

“She did.” You say, nodding your head, “She loves you. She’s just not in love with you.” 

“That doesn’t make it any easier.”

You shake your head, “I don’t think anything will at this point. You just need to wait, time will heal. I’ll be here for you.” 

“I think.” He says, dropping his knees so that he can move closer to you, “I think you might be able to.” 

“Whatever you need, H.” You say.

He moves closer, you can feel him closer to you, but you certainly hadn’t expected for him to place his lips upon yours. The kiss at first in gentle, his lips pressed against yours so gently that at the start you couldn’t quite feel him upon you. Then it’s more urgent, with his hand placed upon your cheek, his lips moving against yours at a quick pace. 

“H.” You whisper, pulling away slightly as he removes his lips from yours, using them to dance down your cheek, to your jaw and then resting against the skin of your neck. 

He removed his hand from your cheek and hooking it underneath your thigh so he can manoeuvre you to be on his lap.

This is the first time you’ve ever kissed a boy, and you can’t believe that the boy of all people is Harry Styles. You hadn’t been this close to anyone before, straddled across his lap with your knees each side of his waist, your skirt bunched up at your waist. The second you were comfortable, his lips attached to your again, his hands rested upon the small of your back. A feeling brewed within you, causing your hips to involuntary buck towards his. You felt him smile against your lips, and that was when you snapped out of the daze that you were in.

Without really thinking, you pulled away and clambered off of his lap. He looked flushed as you pulled away, his hair a little messy and his lips red from the kissing. 

“No.” You hold your hand out at him, shaking your head, “You can’t do that.” 

“Why not?” He said, standing up and taking a few steps towards you. 

“Because. . . because you just can’t.” You shake your head, lifting your hands to run through your hair. 

“I thought.” He looks at you quizzically, “I thought that’s what you wanted.” 

“Maybe I did, a little bit.” You say, shaking your head, “But you didn’t want it to be me. You wanted it to be Lizzie.” 

“No.” He shakes his head, holding his hand out as if to touch yours, “I didn’t want that.” 

“You did, I know you Harry, and you did.” You sniffle slightly, shaking your head, “I’m not Lizzie and I’ll never be Lizzie, and I’ve accepted that. You’ll never love me like you love Lizzie, and I know that. But, Harry, I won’t be second best. I don’t deserve to be second best.” 

“You aren’t second best, YN!” 

You can’t help but let out a small sob at his words, “I am, Harry. From the first day that we met each other, Lizzie came first. She was the one who you couldn’t bore your eyes away from, not me. I don’t think I had a full conversation with you until Lizzie left for her classes.” 

“That’s not true, YN.” He shakes his head, “I swear to you, it isn’t.” 

“I’m sorry, Harry.” You take a few steps back, “I won’t be second best.” 

With that you turn away, leaving the house and leaving Harry. You couldn’t help the tears that fell as you walked across to your house. 

You had made the decision that day that you weren’t to stay in America, that you were going to leave and you knew that Aunt Jemima was the person you knew would be able to help you with that.

Your Aunt Jemima was getting older, but before she died she wanted to go to Europe on last time, more specifically France. She had asked you years ago to be her companion on the trip, and you had agreed, but that was the last time you’d ever spoken to her about it. On Christmas day, you had been the one to bring the idea back up in conversation, dropping in little hints until Aunt Jemima picked up what you were saying. She had been the one to say that in the new year you were going and that you had to be ready to leave on January second with no complaints, not that you had any anywhere. 

When Aunt Jemima’s carriage came, you said your farewell’s to your mother and you sister, and Theodore who had proposed to your sister the day prior — and left. As you sat in the carriage, you couldn’t help but look at Harry’s house, and you weren’t shocked to see him at the window watching your every move. You didn’t look away from the window until you could no longer see the house, when you turned to look straight in front of your, your gloved hands resting upon your knee. 

“Forget him.” Aunt Jemima says, sighing slightly and shaking her head, “He isn’t right for you.” 

“I have no idea what you are on about.” You shake your head, looking out of the small carriage window so that you don’t have to look at your Aunt. 

“That Styles boy.” She says, and you immediately snap your eyes towards her, “Don’t think I don’t know about the two of you.” 

“There isn’t anything to know.” You shake your head at her. 

“There obviously is.” She says, “Or you wouldn’t be sulking the way that you are.” 

“I’m not sulking.” 

“I haven’t brought a liar with me have I ?” She asks, raising her eyebrow at you.

“You haven’t.” She shakes her head, “I am sulking, I’m sorry.” 

“Apology accepted.” She says, pursing her lips, “Are you going to tell me about him, then?” 

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“You’re about to cry, my dear.” She flutters her eyes to you slightly, “I could sense your heartbreak from a mile away. He’s the reason you wanted to come, isn’t he?” 

“I wanted to come.” You say, messing with your fingers that sat on your lap, “He just. . . gave me a reason to finally do it.” 

“I think he’s the idiot in this situation.” She says after a few seconds and your lips part in shock, before you clamp them back together, “He’s the one who got involved with you and your sister. I wonder if he can even get out of bed.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“Well. First of all your sister broke his heart by not marrying him and marrying that other man, I’ve already forgotten his name.” She shakes her head, “Then you broke his heart by doing whatever you did when you went to go see him on Christmas Eve and you’ve been depressed ever since you left.” 

“Who told you that?” 

“Who do you think?” Aunt Jemima clicks her tongue and shakes her head, “My daughter told me. Wouldn’t stop crying saying that you’re leaving the love of your life and her other daughters pregnant by some pretentious nobody.” 

You run your hand over your forehead, scrunching your face at the fact that everyone knew, “My mother knows too much.” 

“Your mother just knows you.” Aunt Jemima shakes her head, “At least you haven’t ruined your life before it’s even begun, with a child of all things.” 

“You’re just saying that because you never had children.” 

“Why would I want an offspring of myself and some other man?”

“It’s about love, Aunt Jemima.” You can tell that you’re about to cry, so again you turn your head, “When you love someone, that’s something to bring that love into a being.” 

“I just don’t see why.” She says, curling up her nose, “But then again, that’s why I’m seventy, unmarried and childless. Don’t think about the Styles boy too much. You’re going to a different country for heavens sake, think of all of the people that you’ll meet whilst you’re there. You’ll forget him soon, my dear, and he’ll forget you. That’s what we’ll hope for anyway.” 

The tears do start to fall now, in quick streams down down your cheeks. You couldn’t stop them. Aunt Jemima, no matter how much you despised her sometimes, she certainly knew what she was talking about. You turned your head so that you were looking away from your aunt, looking out of the window and trying your hardest not to let any sobs fall out of your lips.

You did love Harry and if he had stopped your from getting into the carriage, your probably would. If he had asked to marry you, you probably would have said yes without any hesitation but at the same time you also felt as though you were second best, and that wasn’t a place that you ever thought you’d be.

No matter how much you loved him, and yearned to be with him, you knew for the sake of your sanity and for the sake of staying as a strong independent woman. You were taught from being young from your mother that no matter how many people try to say that all you were worth is more than just being the wife of some rich man. Your mother also said that you had a talent and that you had to use it. 

France was going to be the place that you were going to use your talents, and be a better person for doing so. 

Four Years Later

“Pierre.” You say, smiling at the man as he held his hand out to you, “Puis-je vous demander ce que vous faites?” May I ask what you’re doing? 

“Je demande à la plus belle fille de la pièce de danser.” You can’t help the blush that falls across your cheeks. You nod your head and slip your hand into his, standing up and following him into the middle of the dance floor. I’m asking the most beautiful girl in the room to dance. 

The music changes around them to one of the most popular songs in Paris to dance to. He lifts his arm up, just as you do to his, and start the movements in the same way that everyone else in the room had.

You had arrived in France with Aunt Jemima four years ago, fresh faced after the journey and ready to start your new life there.  At first it took a while for you to get used to the new life that you now lived. Aunt Jemima’s French house, if it was even possible, was bigger that her house back home with more nooks and crannies to explore but more importantly, a bigger garden that you could paint every corner of. The main thing that you focused on during the first few months of your arrival was settling in and learning the language which you knew would be hard, but it was something that you needed to do. 

Pierre was the person who had helped you do that. 

Aunt Jemima had hired him to be your French tutor. She said that he was one of the best for you, and that he certainly was. You learnt the basics within the first few months until you were able to finally communicate with the people around you in their native language. At first, you despised Pierre and his pretentious way of making you feel small, but here you were, fours years later, dancing with him and waiting for his proposal at some point. 

Aunt Jemima would be turning within her grave if she knew you were planning to marry Pierre. Even though she hired him when you first arrived to teach you, but she found him incompetent to do anything else. She could tell that you were falling for him, and told you multiple times to not settle for him but you were ignoring her. 

If you listened to every one who your Aunt Jemima told you to not settle for, you’d never marry at all. 

“Do you have plans tomorrow?” He asks, in English this time, his accent seeping through with every word that he spoke. 

“Plans?” You raise your eyebrow, “To paint, yes, but I suppose I can clear my schedule.” 

After learning the French language, that was when you had started your painting classes. You started taking everything in, listening to every single word the teacher said to you until you were good enough to start on your own. The first time one of your pieces was shown in an exhibit, people loved it, and you found yourself creating more and more works and creating more and more links with people around. 

“Do.” He says, nodding his head, “Je veux t’emmener quelque part. Quelque part spécial.” I want to take you somewhere. Somewhere special.

You bite your lip, nodding your head whilst trying to suppress the large smile that’s ready to cross your entire face. 

Pierre was a hopeless romantic, always showering you in large gestures that caused your heart to flutter within your chest. He hadn’t kissed you, and even though you knew that you knew deep down that you shouldn’t compare it, you found yourself not feeling the way that you did the last time you found yourself with a man. 

At twenty-three you were late to get married, and if you ever wanted kids you would have to do so quicker than anything you had ever done in your life because you knew that your days were going to start become numbered. 

“What time should I be ready?” 

“I’ll pick you up at eleven.” 

The song ends, your courtesy and he bows and that’s when you walk back towards the table you were sat at, picking up your glass of Champagne and taking a sip. 

“YN.” You stop drinking immediately, nearly choking on the liquid that you had already started to sip. You know that voice anywhere, etched into your brain from when you were just a mere eighteen year old with a heart twice the size of the one you had now, “As I live and breathe.” 

You turn around, immediately seeing a man that you had left years ago stood in front of you. He looked exactly the same as when you knew him all those years ago, except his features were a tad harder and his hair curler that it was before if it was even possible which you weren’t too sure about. 

“Harry.” You swallow the lump in your throat, placing your glass down on the table and turning so that you were facing him, “It’s been a while.” 

“It certainly has.” He says, lifting his own glass to his lips, “You look good. Happy.” 

“I am.” You nod your head. You look at him, his eyes emptier that you had ever seen them before, not even when Lizzie refused to marry him, “I wish I could say the same for you, but. . .” 

“I look exhausted.” 

“You do.” You say, watching as his lips curled up into a smile as do yours, “How are you? Genuinely.” 

“I’m. . .” 

“Ma chérie.” You feel an arm slip around your waist, rest upon the small of it as he stands next to you, “Qui est-ce?” My darling. Who is this? 

“Ah.” You brush a piece of your hair that had fallen out of place away from your face, “Pierre, this is Harry. Harry this is Pierre.” 

Harry raises his eyebrows, lifting the glass to his lips to drink the rest of it. As you watch, it doesn’t seem to even hits the sides with how quickly he drinks it. 

“Bonjour.” Pierre holds his hand out to Harry, “Comment allez vous?”

Harry looks at Pierre’s hand but he doesn’t shake it, and that’s when you lift your fingers to run against your forehead, “Are you two, marié?” Married.

“No.” You shake your head, stepping to the side slightly so that Pierre’s hand isn’t upon your waist anymore, “We are. . .” 

“Courting.” Pierre’s quick to interject, “I think that’s what to call it.” 

You watch as Harry’s eyebrows raise, and without saying anything to the two of you, he turns around and mutters, “I need another drink.” 

As he walks away, you can see the slight stagger in his walk, one that many intoxicated people hold and you know that him being not himself treads deeper than just seeing you there today. 

“YN.” Pierre places a hand upon your shoulder, “How do you know that man?” 

“He’s someone from home.” You say, watching as Harry drinks another full glass of Champagne where he’s staggered off to, “He’s an old friend.” 

He leans down until you can feel his breath at your ear, “Just a friend.” 

You nod, leaning into him as he places a kiss to your neck, “Bien.” Good.

Since Pierre wasn’t picking you up until eleven, you decide that you have the time to at least start your next painting. In the garden of your Aunts house that you had inherited, you had built a gazebo with the money that you had made from selling your art pieces to exhibits that overlooked the garden and the pond from the four different directions that it had around it. 

You had decided that the swans that swum in the pond were looking particularly delightful today and you decide that is the direction that you want to start your painting. You set up your easel and your canvas, as well as your paints that you brought on a palette and start figuring out the dimensions of the painting and what you wanted it to look like. 

You hold up your paintbrush, closing one of your eyes as you move it from portrait to landscape and back again. 

“You always were a perfectionist.” The paintbrush in your hand clatters you the ground as it slips through your fingers, due to you jumping. You weren’t expecting anyone to be here, and you certainly weren’t expecting to hear his voice. 

“And you always had a tendency to shock people.” He laughs, his dress shoes hitting the decking with loud pats.

“My apologies.” He says, slipping one of his hands into the pocket of his trousers, taking another step closer to you, “I didn’t mean to shock you, love.” 

You place your palette down, brushing your hands off slightly on your apron. You’d usually wear your comfortable clothes to paint in, the attire usually not even being a skirt but often trousers, but because you were meeting Pierre later, you knew that you had to dress up. It wasn’t the fanciest dress you owned, but the light blue material complimented your features in a way that you just couldn’t resist when you saw it in the shop. 

“Yes you did.” You lips curl up into a smile, “You forget that I know you Harry, even after all these years.” 

“Lots of things can change in four years, YN.” 

“You haven’t.” 

“You haven’t, either.” He smiles.

You tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear and take a step closer to him, clearing your throat slightly as you do so, “I want to apologise for last night. Pierre can be a little. . .” 

“Intrusive.” Harry leans against the pillar nearest to him and you nod, knowing that is exactly what he is. 

“I’m very sorry. I would have loved to have caught up with you.” 

“I probably wouldn’t have been in the best frame of mind to do so.” He runs his fingers through his hair, “I was drunk, if you couldn’t tell.” 

“I could.” 

“Now.” He lifts his hand up and motions to the garden around you, “Are you going to tell me what I’ve missed in the last four years?” 

“Uh.” You move so you’re stood next to him, leant against the barrier, “I moved with Aunt Jemima. This was her house but she died a year ago, if I remember correctly. She left me the house in her will, and I decided that I wanted to stay.” 

“Have you been at home at all during the last four years?” 

You nod your head, “I went home when Lizzie got married, that was when I met Anna for the first time. Then I went back for Aunt Jemima’s funeral because she decided she didn’t want to be buried here.” 

“I must have missed you.” He says, “I spent a lot of the last four years in England with my grandparents.” 

“Lizzie told me.” You say, “She said that she did invite you to the wedding but your father explained that you were in England.” 

He nods his head, “I left a few months after you. I think my father was fed up of my moping.” 

It shouldn’t have hurt you, but his words did. Your chest squeezed slightly at his words. Even though you knew you were doing what you were doing to benefit yourself, you couldn’t lie and say that you hadn’t missed him. You had lost a friend when you left, as well as your first love. 

“Are you married?” You ask, not really knowing why the words escape from your lips in the way that they do. 

He shakes his head, holding his hand up to reveal his completely ring free hand, “Nope. I can’t really say that I’ve been looking.” 

“I’m sure you’ve had opportunities.” You say, “You’re the perfect gentlemen, Harry. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve had women queuing to marry you.” 

He chuckles, scratching the back of his neck, “People have tried but I haven’t been interested.” 

“Why not?” 

“Some may say that I’m still hung up on somebody.” His eyes flutter away from yours, and you take it as the opportunity to look down at your hands, “But that doesn’t matter. What about you and Mr. Intrusive.” 

You chuckle, lifting your eyes up to look at his, “He was my French language teacher. I didn’t like him, despised him to be fair but here were are a few years later and I think he’s going to propose to me later today.” 

“Do you want to marry him?” 

If you were asked this question but anybody else, you probably would have immediately said yes and that was enough for you to know that you should marry him. But seeing Harry stood there, the way that he is, waiting for you to answer what should be one of the easiest questions ever, reminds you that this may have gotten a lot more confusing now with Harry’s reappearance. 

“I. . .” You hesitate and drop your eyes down to the ground again, “I think so.” 

“You think?” He says, “I can’t say that I believe that you do if you only think that you want to marry him.” 

“I do.” You say, quickly. 

Harry stands up and takes a few steps towards the opposite end of the gazebo, “Do you love him?” 

This answer, so it should be another one, was easy to answer, “No.” 

“Then why are you marrying him.” 

“I’m twenty-three, Harry.” You say, your heels tapping the wood as you move to stand next to him, looking at the pond in front of you, “I’m certainly not getting any younger. If I returned home to mother and father without a husband and children I believe they would disown me.” 

“They wouldn’t.” He shakes his head, “They love you too much.” 

“I’ve had three letters from them asking about grandchildren.” You deadpan, looking at him with a stoic look on their face. 

“I’m sure they wouldn’t want to marry someone who you don’t love.” He says.

“If I don’t marry Pierre, who will I marry?” 

After a few seconds, the smallest whispers escapes his lips, “You could marry me.” 

The whole world seems to slow down around you, and you turn to look at him. He’s already looking at you, with those green eyes that you became so accustomed to all those years ago. You knew each other in all for three months, but you spent every second of every day with each other when Lizzie was away, and it certainly showed with how close you became. Marrying Harry could be the thing that you need, have always needed. You haven’t been as happy as you were when you were back him with him in a long time. 

“Harry.” You say, the words coming out in a small whisper, “You can’t mean that.” 

“I do.” He says, quickly to say the least, “I haven’t been more sure about anything in my life before.” 

“Harry—”

“Madame.” One of the groundskeepers say, walking towards the two of you, “Monsieur Perney est là.” Mr. Perney is here. 

“Merci, Alfred.” You clear your throat to try and mask the uncertainty in your voice, “Ça ne prendra qu’un seconde.” Thank you, Alfred. I will only be a second. 

The man nods and walks away, and you turn back to look at Harry, who has the same look on his face as you do on yours. There’s a level of defeat between the two of you. 

“I need to, um, go meet with Pierre.” You say, hands gripping the material of your dress. 

“Is that a no?” He takes a step towards you. 

You sigh, “It’s a, I have to think about it.” 

He nods, “When will you know? This is probably a good time to tell you that I’m leaving tomorrow.” 

That changed everything. It wasn’t as though now you had a few days to think through and make your decision, you had to make it quickly before he goes. 

“Tomorrow?” 

He nods, “Father’s ill. Paris was my last hooray before I go back home to be an adult.” 

You take a few moments to think, “Will you be able to return back here this evening?” 

“For you? Of course.” He says as though he doesn’t even have to think about it. 

You nod your head and take a few steps towards him, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Goodbye Harry.” 

“I’ll see you later, love.” 

“C’est une belle journée.” Pierre says as the two of you walk side by side around a park, the spring heat light upon your skin as you do so. It’s a beautiful day. 

“It is.” You say, not being able to pull your eyes away from the ground below you.

You knew that you shouldn’t be thinking about this at all, that it wasn’t fair to Pierre, but all you could think about was Harry. You couldn’t get the look of his face out of your head as you kissed his cheek and walked away, as though he felt like that was it between the two of you. You were still unsure of the decision that you were going to make, but once you found yourself stood at the top of some steps, looking out at the park below, you knew that you were to make your decision sooner of later. 

“Is something bothering you?” 

“No.” You shake your head, finally lifting your eyes to look at his, “Everything is swell, thank you.” 

“Good.” He takes a step closer so that his fingers are brushing yours, “YN?” 

“Yes?” 

“We’ve known each other for a long time.” He says, and the two of you turn so that you’re facing each other, his hands gripping yours, “A very long time, and I was wondering whether I could ask you something?” 

“We have.” You know what the question is before the words have left his lips, and you’re already beginning to prepare yourself for what you’re going to hear the next time he open his lips, “And you can.” 

He clears his throat and fumbles within his inside pocket, drawing out what you know is a ring box. He lets go of your hand which he was still holding with his free one and drops down to his knee, using his other hand to open the small box. 

“YN YLN.” He sighs, “Ma chérie. Will you marry me?” 

The same feeling that you felt before overcomes you, when the whole world around you seems to be moving in slow motion. He looks so happy, his cheeks lifting in a wide grin that you can’t seem to shake from your sight. You can’t even bring yourself to look at the ring he had chosen for you, because it was at that time, seeing him on his knee, that you know what your answer is. 

“I’m so sorry, Pierre.” You slip your bottom lip between your teeth, “I don’t think I can.” 

“What?” His whole face drops, and guilt starts to wash over you. He immediately stands up, looking at you with wide eyes, “No?” 

You shake your head, “I’m so sorry, Pierre.” 

“I thought that you wanted to marry me.” He shakes his head, “Comment ai je pu être si stupide?” How could I have been so stupid?

“You haven’t. I promise you, Pierre.” You reach your hand forward to touch his arm, but he moves away from you, not wanting you to touch him you suppose, “I did want to marry you.” 

“What has changed?” You look at him with sad eyes, tears threatening to spill and you watch the realisation flutter across his features, “He has.” 

You drop your head, lifting your hand to wipe away the tears that had started to spill, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Who is he?” His features switch to angry ones next, and his voice deepens and it shocks you to say the least, “You have never mentioned him and now you will not marry me because of him?” 

“He’s an old friend from hime, like I said.” You repeat your words from the party last night, “I haven’t seen him since I moved here.” 

“Do you love him?” The words are quick to leave his lips and you once again drop your head, in shame if you are completely honest, “Do you? I want to hear you say it?” 

“I do.” His hostile tone scared you into answering, “I always have.” 

“Did you ever love me?” 

You shake your head, the little movement causing him to throw you one of the worst looks you’ve ever seen in your life and stalk away from you. Tears stream down your face, and you know that you probably look the worst you’ve ever looked in your life at this given moment but you couldn’t care less. You thought that you’d feel worse than you do, but you you feel more relieved than anything. You feel bad that you’ve had to break his heart, but the idea of going back home with Harry, seeing your family and saying that he is the man that you’re going to marry was enough for your heart to burst with excitement. 

In your opinion, you couldn’t return home quick enough. The second you return to the house you’re fluttering around as quickly as possible, packing all the belongings that you’d need immediately when you returned but you knew that you could get the rest of your belongings shipped in at a later date. 

The evening rolled around quicker that you had imagined it would, but you supposed time went quickly when you’re packing to go across the world with the love of your life. When you hear the knock at your door, you race to open it, not caring what people think because all you want is to see him. 

You throw the door open, and there he is, stood in the exact same suit that you’d seen him in earlier. He did look tireder then he did earlier, but if you had spent the day worrying you probably would’ve looked worse than he did. 

“Come in.” You open the door wider, so that he can step in, “Please.” 

He takes a few seconds to look around at the entrance way to the house, his lips parting at the sheer size of it as you did when you first arrived. Aunt Jemima was an odd woman, you couldn’t lie, but she certainly knew how to pick a lovely house. You’d probably sell it now that you were going back to America. 

He looked around for a while before he noticed your pile of belongings in the corner, all packed away and ready to leave. 

His eyes meet yours and he looks as though he’s going to cry at any given moment, “Really?” 

You nod your head, “I want to marry you, Harry. Always have.” 

He takes two steps forward and places his lips on yours, his hands falling to your cheeks. It sent you back to four years ago, stood in the library after you’d just kissed him. You couldn’t believe that he was back with you, kissing your lips in the way that you had yearned for him too for so many years. 

He pulls away and rests his head upon yours with a sigh, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you. Ever since that day. I should’ve done more.” 

“It was my fault.” You thread your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, “I shouldn’t have left. I should have sulked for a while but gone back to you. I missed you so terribly.” 

“I know why you did it.” He says, pressing another quick kiss to your lips, “I shouldn’t have proposed to your sister when it was you who made me happy. I knew that I shouldn’t have the second I said it, and I’m sorry for that.” 

“We’ll start a fresh.” You whisper, resting your forehead upon his, “Forget everything that happened four years ago and start fresh. I love you, Harry. I always have.” 

“I love you too.” 

You lean forward and place your lips on his again, his hands resting comfortably upon your waist. It felt so familiar for you to be in his arms, his lips upon yours. He was the only person you had ever kissed, and now he’d be the only person that you’d ever kiss, and you certainly weren’t complaining about that. 

“You may now kiss the bride!” 

Harry smiles at you, and you beam up at him before the two of you lean forward and kiss each other. Cheers and applause erupt around the two of you, as well as confetti and flowers being thrown across the two of you as you walk down the aisle. 

You had arrived a few months ago from Paris, and immediately thrown into trying to nurse Harry’s father back to health, which didn’t go to plan. It was hard on Harry, but he had you and that was the most important thing to him. His Father gave you his blessing for the marriage, saying that it was the best thing he’d heard in a while. The funeral was a few weeks later, and the two of you decided to have the wedding two months afterwards.

The two of you were moving into Harry’s house, across the road from the house that your mother and father still lived in. You had so many plans for what you wanted to do to with the place, seeing as though it was way too big for the two of you to live in on your own. 

It was your wedding night, and you were walking up towards the front door of the house when you felt Harry’s arm slipping under your thighs. You squeal as he picks you up, wrapping your arms around Harry’s neck. Giggling, you lean forward and place a kiss to his cheek, causing the dimples to show within his cheeks. 

“I love you, husband.” You say, smiling as he places you down in the entry way. 

“I love you too.” He leans forward and places a kiss to your lips, “Wife.” 

It was as though the atmosphere within the room changed the second he said that word. His hands found your hips, resting on the material of your dress. You took a step backwards, causing you to press your back against the inside of the door, your lips immediately attacked by his. Your hips involuntarily buck up to Harry’s, causing a groan to escape from his lips. After a few seconds, he pulls away, kissing down your neck. 

“Harry.” You whisper, feeling a moan ready to tumble from your lips at the feeling of his teeth grazing your neck, “Take me upstairs.” 

“Are you sure?” You nod your head and he’s quick to pick you up again, this time carrying you over his shoulder. You squeal and grip his shoulders to steady yourself, “Better give my wife what she wants.”

Once you were up the stairs safely, he placed you down and connected your lips again. The first thing you did once your feet touched the ground again, you gripped the edge of his suit jacket and pushed it off his shoulders, listening to the material tumble to the ground and drop. 

“Can I take your shirt off?” You mumble against his lips and he hums, allowing you to unbutton his shirt and shrugging that material off of his shoulders. This was the most you’d seen of Harry naked, and another human being at that. 

“What about you?” He says, walking you both back until he’s sat on the bed, “Can I see you?” 

“You’ll have to help.” You giggle, turning around. He starts to unbutton your dress, letting the material slip from your body into a pile upon the floor. He starts to unfasten your corset next, allowing that to slip from your body also. You were very exposed now, and you knew that, but the way that Harry looked at you sent all of your worries flying from your head. 

He leaned back on his arms and clambered back into his lap, similarly to the way you had done all those years ago when you first kissed in the library of this very house. You wrapped your arms around his neck, just has his rested upon the exposed skin of your waist. 

“YN?” You hum against his lips, “Can I make you feel good?” 

You pull away and nod, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. It made you feel nervous that he was going to see you in the way that he was but this was Harry, your husband and the person you had wished to be touching you and near to the years that you had been apart. He helps remove the rest of your undergarments until you’re completely naked in front of him, laying and waiting for whatever he is going to do to you. He removes his trousers and underwear as you do so. There’s something about seeing him like that causes your hear to flutter and the rest of you to follow it. 

He hovers over you, pressing another chaste kiss to your lips before moving down your neck and to your chest until he reaches your breasts, pressing kiss to the plushy skin around it until he wraps his lips around your nipple, lifting his hand up to pinch the other one between his fingers. 

“Fuck, love.” He smiles up at you as you whither beneath him, feeling all of your senses heightened at the feeling of him on your skin. 

He kisses down from your breasts to your stomach until his face is directly where you want it the most, where you’re literally throbbing for him. Without any warning, he leans forward and starts to attack your clit with his tongue, causing your hips to buck up from the bed and moans threatening to spill from your lips. Your hand drops to the top of his head, tugging at the curls that rest there. You’ve never felt like this, ever, in your life and you believe that if you feel it too much you will become accustomed to it. Your thighs try to clamp around his head but he stops you from doing so by gripping your thighs with his hands. After a particularly hard tug of his curls, a moan erupts from Harry and vibrates against your clit causing you to shudder. 

He moved one of his hands up from your thigh to run over your wet slit, “Can I?” 

“Please.” You’re quite embarrassed about how breathy it comes out but once he slips one of his fingers in, and a whine escapes his lips you can’t be bothered to care about the sounds that are leaving your lips. 

“I need to stretch you out.” He says, curling his finger in you, “Can I?” 

You nod your head, “Please.” 

He pushes another finger into you, leaning his head back down to attack your clit again. He’s quite gentle with his tongue, using it to make a skilled attack on your clit, using it and his fingers to coax you closer and closer to the first ever orgasm you are to experience. 

“Harry.” You whine his name and the feeling washes over you quicker than you had expected it too, but at the same time the man knew what he was doing and you to bring you to that peak. He continued to move his fingers and kitten lick at your clit until your thighs stop shaking. Once you have, he moves up your body again and kisses you. 

“Good?” 

“Really good.” You laugh, wrapping your arm around his neck, “I want to feel you, H.” 

“Certain? Because we don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

“I do.” You place your hand on his cheek, pecking his lips, “I want to.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” 

You smile, “It’s going to hurt whether we do it now or later. I want to.” 

It’s uncomfortable to say the least, the feeling contrasting the one that you had felt earlier. You weren’t in a lot of pain, but it made it a little harder to feel the pleasure that you know you can feel from this act, Lizzie had told you plenty about it when you were younger. Harry grunted as he pushed into you, scrunching up his features. From the way that little groans and deep breaths escaped his lips, you knew that he was feeling an immense amount of pleasure. 

“Feel good?” He grunts against your neck, pressing a small kiss to the skin as you smile, running your nails down his back. You knew that he was close, from the way he twitched inside of you, and your tried everything to coax it out of him. 

“Feel so good, love.” He comes soon after his words, spilling into you and filling you up. 

He collapses on top of you and you hold him close to you, pushing his curls off of his forehead that have stuck. You giggle as his pouts his lips, leaning down to play a kiss to them. 

“I love you so much.” You smile. 

“And I, you.” He pulls you close, “You were never second best, I hope you know that.” 

“I do now.” 

Three Years Later

“Mary.” You smile, placing your hand on the back of the little girls shoulder, “That looks beautiful.” 

“Thank you, Mrs. Styles.” She says, continuing to add the green paint to her painting. 

You and Harry figured out not that long after what do with the large house you had been left by his father. With your art and French skills, and Harry’s love for reading and slight knowledge of simple maths, you decided to convert the house into a school for the kids in the village. It was a place for them to come without having to worry and learn and focus on new skills. 

At this point you had just finished one of your art classes and left the kids to let their creativity flow with some paper and paints, as well as pencils and other materials for them to use. You were making your way outside, smiling at the sight of Harry sat in the garden with a group of children sat around him, listening to every word he spoke as he read from a book. 

The next thing you saw was your sister, stood with her husband and her children. You were surprised to see your little boy, Oscar, sat comfortably in her arms. The second he sees you, he’s making grabby arms in your direction. 

He had just turned one and was now in a phase of not wanting to walk but be carried everywhere. He was certainly his father’s son, in more ways than one. He looked identical to his father, with green eyes and unruly brown curls and dimples, but he was also the exact same person as your husband, and if you thought it was a struggle to live with one Harry Styles, having an Oscar Styles as well was just as hard. 

“Hi baby.” You pick him up and place him on your hip, his hand resting on your neck lovingly. From the way he drops his head to your shoulder, you can tell he’s almost ready for his nap. You smile and press a kiss to his cheek. 

Harry comes over a few seconds later and kisses you on the lips briefly and places a kiss to Oscar’s cheeks. The two of you look over at what you have created for the kids around you and smile at each other. 

“I’m glad I didn’t give up on you.” 

“Me neither.” You smile, “I love you, mon chéri.” 

“I love you too.” 

Oscar looks up at the two of you with a pout on his lips, causing Harry to chuckle, “And we love you too, little man.” 

[planet4546b]

ok i finished beyond light and wanna put some thoughts here about it while its on the mind. tldr destiny is simultaneously the stupidest game in the world and has moments that are really, really good

eramis is a hugely compelling character with a solid motivation, interesting backstory, and relates to the long running lore weve had about eliksni in absolutely FASCINATING ways. shes instantly one of my fave characters im incredibly compelled by her. they also say that she cant control the darkness because shes ‘too angry’ (?? what.)

given what we know about the darkness bc of 1. votd and 2. ikoras shredded notes, eramis being probably manipulated by the darkness (which. obviously so is the yw in this expansion) and 2. losing control of it explicitly because she couldnt move on from what happened to riis, eramis’ corruption is MUCH more compelling and complex. but in game theyre just like. oh she cant control it because shes evil. destiny. man come on

using darkness is a super fun way to tie new gameplay mechanics to plot, and make a much more concrete parallel between what the light and darkness can do (both being simplified as sources of power is fun) but they truly had some star wars level bullshit about how you control it. oh you can use it safely if its for a noble cause (eramis’ cause was noble). oh you can use it safely if youre strong enough (what???) oh you can use it safely if youre like a good enough person. its all vauge and kinda stupid.

AGAIN, in light of new lore, the idea that light and darkness can in fact be balanced and thats not a bad thing is an idea that works and is compelling (its not the same bullshit as ppl who talk about like ‘grey jedi’ like it does actually make sense). they just give the stupidest answers possible about how that works

actually i am really glad the exo stranger is here. i love her and im glad theyre in some way tying things back to d1 but it did also it still doesnt make sense. tbf none of the plot of this game ever does but whatever. if the black garden ties into shadowkeep (idk how i just know it does) shouldnt. they have put her there?? or made the vex more important here??? baffling. i am not immune to no time to explain though :(

exo stranger eris and drifter funniest group in the WORLD. i know they just grabbed the three characters that were loosely associated w darkness and gave very little info on how they teamed up or like. Why but good god if it isnt hilarious

destiny once again suffers from being an fps :/ girl you made a whole expansion that gives more information on the eliksni, shows them sympathetically in a lot of ways, and truly starts to develop them (more than they already were, which imho was a fair amount) and theyre STILL solely used as canon fodder. wheres that post about making faceless enemies and trying to give them a face lol bc i think of it all the time in this game

yes we did ALSO help save eliksni and maybe i would have felt different about this if i had been playing when this season had come out and had intereacted in any meaningful way with the eliksni in helm/in their city district but also. you know

once again i am saying that the vex are simultaneously the biggest actual existential threat in destiny and also the only enemy group that can truly actually be treated as faceless with no consequences, bc as far as we know they dont have a sense of self in the way we understand, which EVERY OTHER ENEMY GROUP (hive included!!!!) does. but what can you do.

i really like how little you see of the pyramid. also once again destiny environment design absolutely rules. braytech facilities riis-reborn and vex constructions all look so architechturally distinct, unique, interesting, and do a good job of storytelling from a visual perspective. europa is also absolutely GORGEOUS

i am for REALLLLLL worried about ghost. between darkness possessing him, the sheer amount that yw using darkness seems to legitimately terrify him, and also how he acts in wq im Concerned. last weeks strike being arms dealer and seeing how differently he acts in that era as compared to now is legit heartbreaking. also the sheer number of times is started quoting thin line out loud to myself directly after his lines about how scared he was of yw using darkness is UNREAL

i do genuinely think that this game is doing a good job of tying the specific ways that darkness is portrayed and comes up with the themes and lore about what it represents (mostly based on the shredded notes my beloved) and making that argument for what darkness is compelling. esp excited to see how thats executed in shadowkeep bc i think thats such a strong start for its introduction. like i truly can see how its connected and thats very fun

whole expansion being split between development for eliksni and exos (w bonus development for a d1 character) is so up my alley its unreal. enjoyed it overall but also good god destiny is a video game sometimes isnt it

[beevean]

Now my friend...come here, charge your weapon and give me your take on Zero 1 :P

Wait, let me level up my Saber until I learn my beloved Rolling Attack :P

Good game! But I hope the next games improve on a few things.

The controls are really good. Zero feels even lighter than in the X series, and walljumping is so fun. I also like that you can have up to two weapons, you can customize your Zero depending on your fighting style, and you level up weapons by using them. The weapons themselves are overall well balanced, maybe the Shield Boomerang is the one I found the least use for. I ended up using the Triple Rod a lot :P this is by far the best part of the game lol.

The plot is... kinda like X1 on steroids? I mean. The story ingame is rather barebones - Ciel finds Zero, asks him to do a bunch of things for the Resistance, sudden plot twist - but the lore is already deep and very, very edgy. X lost a bit of his sanity fighting Mavericks without Zero. Copy X is a well-intentioned extremist/dictator, which has some interesting implications regarding the personality of the real X, and it was made by a young girl who feels terribly guilty. A “retirement” camp for Reploids. I like it, but I expect the sequels to have more meat on their bones :P

(also it’s so obvious that inafune wanted copy x to be the real x but he couldn’t have it because capcom didn’t want to tarnish the image of the actual protagonist, so we got mystic x at the end. poor inafune, he can't give his golden child the preferential treatment he desperately wants to give him)

I appreciate that the Zero series started with a different formula, with a hub world and missions to choose. I like that you can even walk to the different areas to grind and find missing Cyber Elves! I don’t know if there’s an ideal order, I kinda did them in order of appearance lol. I appreciate the variety... in theory. In practice some of them were gimmicky in the wrong way, the best example being that stupid escort mission that is so boring and goes against the whole fluidity the game offers and permanently lowered my rank :( Also a handful of timed missions, which are stressful but I suppose it’s the natural evolution of the nature of the series.

And finally, the big criticism: this game is not just hard, it’s mean. If the X series encourages you to find powerups, the Zero series shames you for wanting to make things slightly easier for yourself - oh, and certain powerups require an annoying amount of grinding to get enough Crystals to “feed” (tbf, though, apparently ranking in Z1 isn’t as important as in the sequels aside from 100% completion). The bosses hit like a truck and are twice as fast, as early as the second boss in the game - some have actually understandable patterns, but good luck getting to that point before Game Overing (Angel X is probably the best example of this). Sometimes I even got the feeling that the devs took advantage of the GBA’s limited visibility, am I right bomb mission, disappearing block sequence and climbing tower with spikes that pop up out of nowhere? :^) Neo Arcadia in particular is borderline Castlevania 1 in its cheapness. Calm down :V

Graphically the game is pretty good for a 2002 GBA game, I especially like the heat effect in the desert. I’ll be honest, though, I’m having a hard time getting used to this moe style. Zero’s design as in his armor? I could accept that, although crimson looks better on him than black with red parts. Him looking like a round-eyed child? I’m sorry, I can’t connect him to the Zero I know lol. At least Ciel is an absolute cutie and i already lowkey ship her with zero <3

Musically... ngl the boss theme is the only one I remember on the top of my head, both for the right and the wrong reasons :V but there are other bangers, not as many as it’s custom for the series but still. The remix of Zero’s iconic theme is such a “HELL YEAH” moment - you’re replaying the famous scene where Zero saves the day, but this time you’re the badass <3 Infiltration is memorable simply for how much it doesn’t fit a typical “detonate all bombs” scenario, it’s much tenser and wants you to fill dread. Neo Arcadia’s theme is a much more typical “this is it, don’t hold anything back!” theme and it’s badass, and it’s a great example of how good the soundfont is.

(my biggest complaint is that the Base theme plays so much and it’s so repetitive that I can’t get it out of my head)

(but seriously that boss theme slaps)

So overall... it was a nice introduction to the series, but not much more. I don't know what else to say lol. It does feel a little like the Sonic 1 of the Zero series :P still, the good elements are really good and I can’t write off the entire experience.

Also

Ciel is a confirmed Shadow fan, best girl :P

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. You know the header image placed at the beginning of every episode (portrait of P on the left, black and white sketch of HxP in the middle, portrait if H on the right)? The full image of the sketchier version of the black and white drawing (the version used in older episodes) is actually smut (you can see it on 4chan)… You’d think RS would at least make a minimal effort to hide her agenda to sexualise everything but nOoOoO

From OP, not Anon: Ngl, that shocked me when I first found that out

2. the same-face syndrome in this series is something else, I swear. legitimately couldn't tell Apollo and Eros apart for the longest time. all male and female characters are drawn with the exact same faces. it gets really annoying honestly

3. I don't know if this bothers anyone else (maybe it's just me) but it seems like the characters' facial expressions can be really... off at times? Like, characters will be drawn smiling in situations where it'd make no sense for them to be smiling? And be drawn with vacant expressions in inappropriate times?

Like how (spoiler) Daphne is drawn with a smile when Apollo turns her into a tree (?) when she should have looked terrified???

As an artist who specializes in facial expressions, the ones in LO legitimately throw me off at times.

4. Something that kind of weirds me out about LO is that both Hades and Persephone are kind of awful people (like literally. Slavery, murder, greed, etc.) but it's not portrayed as a bad thing?? at all, really??? Other than a "That's terrible!" here and there, the full weight of what these two characters do doesn't get addressed and is even excused?

And we as the readers are still supposed to believe these two are the good guys? Hades is the king of the underworld, he can do horrible stuff and get away with it. And we already know Persephone won't have to face the consequences of her actions -_-

Imo, this whole story would make more sense if these two were villains/descending into villainy, but that's obviously not what RS is planning.

5. This isn’t a critique I just wanna know if something went over my head, but when Zeus tells Hades to go be king and take Kronos with him Demeter shows up and Zeus and Demeter walk away. Was that suppose to be about Hera getting torn in half or just something we don’t know yet

From OP, not Anon: Maybe something we don’t know about since Demeter and Zeus don’t have a good relationship.

6. After reading the latest chapter where Hades drones on and on to a crying Persephone about how he'll take care of her and get her everything she needs and she'll have a footman waited on her, a apartment with a great view, etc etc.

It really puts into perspective how spoiled she actually is. Like, that chapter was almost hard to read. 

7. Why does RA draw so much porn? It’s so uncomfortable how most of her fans are underage yet she doesn’t even bother to hide the fact that she makes NSFW content 

From OP, Not Anon: Tbf, RS did have her nsfw behind a paywall. I don’t expect creators to hide that they make nsfw, especially since they don’t have much control over their audience. Nsfw is how a lot of webtoon creators make money after all. RS already stopped using patreon though so I haven’t seen her post nsfw or anything that couldn’t be considered artistic nudity in a while.

8. Anybody else notice how Persephone is always portrayed almost as a poor, lower class god who's worked in the fields instead of lived in luxury? "Oh, poor her!"? BUT we have, if my memory serves me, NO actual lower class characters at all?

I don't know if I'm making much sense, but basically the only reason Persephone seems like such an underdog is because RS hasn't introduced a character who has it worse than her. Despite that there are people living in literal slavery while she's living it up?

From OP, not Anon: Nymphs, satyrs, and other mythical beings are lower class in LO. The gods would be considered middle/upper class so yeah.

9. wasnt the original hymn about the power of women and a mother defending her daughter from a cruel marriage by standing up to men and bringing the world to its knees until they finally took her seriously? like thats feminist to me, not claiming persephone loved her kidnapper and demeter is a big bitch for trying to stop it. im not saying making hxp not full of sexual assault is bad, i'd much rather read that, but demonizing demeter for the sake of a man and a heterosexual romance aint it, chief.

10. I love how lo fanart always depicts hades as some young male model as if rachel isnt very open that she designed him off mads and his depiction of hannibal? like maybe they know if they drew him like a 55+ year old man like rachel intended they might realize hes a creep for wanting to bang a baby faced 19 year old.

[malakian]

i’m finally reading lorrie kim’s Snape: A Definitive Reading, and even though i don’t share her views on some of the analysis presented, there are some pretty magnificent bits in the book. i finished the OotP chapter last night and a lot of it is really interesting. there must be around 2 years since i last read the OotP itself and i didn’t remember many details of it — i even made a small mistake on my last fic which i need to correct lmao but anyway, there’s this really fascinating bit in one of the occlumency lessons:

“Let’s go again . . . on the count of three . . . one — two — three — Legilimens!”

A great black dragon was rearing in front of him. . . . His father and mother were waving at him out of an enchanted mirror. . . . Cedric Diggory was lying on the ground with blank eyes staring at him. . . .

“NOOOOOOO!”

He was on his knees again, his face buried in his hands, his brain aching as though someone had been trying to pull it from his skull.

“Get up!” said Snape sharply. “Get up! You are not trying, you are making no effort, you are allowing me access to memories you fear, handing me weapons!”

Harry stood up again, his heart thumping wildly as though he had really just seen Cedric dead in the graveyard. Snape looked paler than usual, and angrier, though not nearly as angry as Harry was.

Kim uses this lesson as an example of how Snape connects to Harry after viewing their somewhat similar traumas, and she also points out that it must have been a shock “for Snape to see [Lily and James] through Harry’s eyes and know that their presence in his life is ‘the deepest, most desperate desire’ of Harry’s heart.” (p. 129)

however, this is interesting for me due to other reasons. up to this point of the lesson, Snape had been acting pretty controled, even praising Harry just minutes before when Harry strikes him with a Stinging Hex (OotP, p. 534), and then, out of nowhere, there is the angry professor we know back again. but he is not just angry: as highlighted in the text, he looks paler and angrier than usual. these adjectives could be reactions to the memories he’s just seen but also to Harry’s performance. here are some possible readings:

it could be a reaction to seeing Lily. he probably didn’t expect to see her there, because theoretically Harry shouldn’t even have actual memories of her. there’s a strong possibility that this is the first time he sees adult-Lily, since we don’t know if they ever met between their graduation and her death. no wonder he’s paler than usual, huh? (it also makes me think that he was very lucky not to see Harry’s memory of her death, that would absolutely break him);

at the same time, if we consider Snape’s journey as someone who’s actively working to avoid people (specially the innocent ones, the young ones) from dying, seeing Cedric (his former student, a kid) dying like that, so close, so real, it must’ve been a shock, a raw reminder that they’re at war, of how the conflict is in motion and many lives will be lost, no matter what he does — and we should remember that at this point the war is not in full-force yet, it’s more like an information/influence war for now, so this death is pretty impactful;

seeing Harry failing in repelling him from his mind can make Snape forget niceties and go back to his usual self, but it can also be a trigger for him to realize once again the dangers surrounding Harry and how he’s going to die if he doesn’t make an effort (which is, tbf, the image Harry has built in his 5 years as Snape’s student).

BUT everything gets better if we put all of this together. being reminded of how vulnerable and in danger Harry is, and being reminded of how reckless and uninterested Harry can be as a student, the possibility of Harry not dedicating himself to learn occlumency becomes even more real and horrifying to Snape in face of what he’s just seen: the reminder that he’s swore to protect Harry for Lily, as well as how cruel and raw the boy’s death will be, just like Cedric’s, if he (Snape) fails in his mission.

that’s why Snape — who had kept his temper until then, not only to make sure Harry would learn but also to preserve himself as a spy in case Voldemort sees these memories in Harry’s mind — snaps and goes back to how he usually treats Harry. he’s unable to keep it cool when all of this (Harry’s recklessness, Cedric’s death, the rawness of the war, his dead friend with whom he’s in debt) has just been thrown in his face, all at once.

“I — am — making — an — effort,” he said through clenched teeth.

“I told you to empty yourself of emotion!”

“Yeah? Well, I’m finding that hard at the moment,” Harry snarled.

“Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!” said Snape savagely. “Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily — weak people, in other words — they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!”

“I am not weak,” said Harry in a low voice, fury now pumping through him so that he thought he might attack Snape in a moment.

“Then prove it! Master yourself!” spat Snape. “Control your anger, discipline your mind! We shall try again! Get ready, now! Legilimens!”

look at the verbs and adverbs used to describe his actions: spat, savagely; look at how many exclamation points!!! he’s wild. he’s lost it completely.

another fascinating thing is the part where he talks about fools who wear their hearts on their sleeves. it has been pointed out before how he’s actually taking about himself, how he’s the one trying to control his emotions all the time to avoid being an easy prey to Voldemort. however, he’s not talking about himself just in general — he’s talking about himself at that very moment. look at him, exposing his emotions, making himself vulnerable, yelling because he was provoked so easily. when he screams at Harry, he’s not only trying to make Harry understand the seriousness of the classes and the dangers he is in, Snape is trying to calm himself down, trying to shut down whatever feelings those memories awoke in him. he’s not yelling just at Harry, he’s yelling at himself. because he’s sad, desperate, and completely terrified that not only Harry will fail learning Occlumency because he’s weak, but also that he — Snape — will fail Lily because, despite whatever he’s done to convince himself otherwise in the last years, he’s just remembered that he can be weak too.

[soren-apologist]

i dislike the notion that ike is a gary stu in rd

i mean yeah he’s a lot less stubborn and hot-headed than when he was 17, but most of the reasoning behind that is because it’s been 3 years and he’s already had the time and experiences to help him mature. then people say he lost all of those character traits in rd, but… does he really lose all of them?

while it’s clear that ike has learn to deal with his stubbornness, i’d still argue that he hasn’t completely overcome it— he is greil’s son, after all. he also still does several arguably stupid things while in the heat of passion, and it’s one of my favorite parts of ike that, while lessened, is still present in rd. to list off some examples, in fe10, ike:

•insults and sasses dheginsea, who the laguz alliance were in the process of literally begging for help, and if he’d genuinely upset him would’ve lead to the entire army being routed by begnion

•shit talks ashera despite knowing that one wrong move could wipe out himself, everyone he loves, and literally every living being on the continent

•insults sothe multiple times while trying to prove why the daein and empress’ armies should team up. the only reason this works is because sothe worships the ground ike walks on

•gets pissy with yune, who at that point is humanity’s only hope for survival (tbf he wasn’t completely aware of that at the time)

•when offered help by oliver, immediately shuts him down and tells him to rejoin the enemy, even though ike knew full well just how easy it’d be to manipulate him

•runs up to fight the black knight, aka the biggest scariest opponent in all of tellius, during that one river battle with daein when at that point his main purpose was to just distract the army for long enough that the laguz could arrive

(i’m aware that the game doesn’t force you to do this, but since it’s required to unlock the flashbacks during endgame i’m like 90% sure it’s canon that ike chooses to do that)

don’t think this is all of them since it’s been a while since i’ve played fe10, but my point is that, despite having a better handle on his temper at this point, it doesn’t mean ike is fully in control of his emotions, and still makes mistakes because of them

[deathandmushrooms]

It's been raining for forever and will rain for the foreseeable future. Great for future-mushroomer me, but it's driving present-me batty. So, here's...

Some non-exhaustive-but-potentially-exhausting maybe-helpful mushroom-foraging guidelines for the curious-but-anxious beginner...

We can assure our readers, whom we wish to preserve, that there are only two facts to bear in mind when selecting fungi:

ALL FUNGI ARE EDIBLE.

SOME FUNGI ARE NOT EDIBLE MORE THAN ONCE.

- Discworld Almanak by Terry Pratchett

Below, you'll find:

Finding and Identifying mushrooms

Foraging mushrooms

Eating mushrooms

Finding and Identifying Mushrooms

Don't eat anything unless you're so confident with it you would feed it to you favorite writer currently working on the dramatic final installment of whatever you're most excited about. Ask yourself: would I feed this to renowned author and local Tumblr treasure @neil-gaiman? No? Then spit it out, Jeremy.

Mushrooms aren't scary. The more knowledgeable you become, and the humbler you remain, the more confident you'll be. Find people who know mushrooms, and preferably not just on The Internet. Get a guidebook or 3 (ideally local) and learn relevant terminology and identifying features (e.g. different kinds of pore surface: gills, tubes, etc). Find a lot of mushrooms and take them home to ID.

But before you do, take many pics in situ if you can. Environment and ecology can be key to a positive ID. Harvesting mushrooms you don't plan on eating is a great way to practice learning relevant terminology and building up a sommelier-esque mushroom vocabulary. "Ah yes, this coral fungus smells woody, with hints of moss....and a soupçon of string cheese."

Research, forage, and cook with intention. When hunting for a mushroom, learn all its look-alikes, especially toxic ones. Don't just note what the mushroom looks like, but where it's growing, how it's growing, amongst whom it's growing, whom it has beef with. Is it growing saprotrophically off a dead log (I.e. Breaking down dead material)? That's probably not a chanterelle, but it might be a jack-o-lantern and supposedly they're slightly bioluminescent so you should probably take it home, bring it to some dark corner, see if the gills really glow and then not eat it regardless.

Mushroom identifying apps are a good way to get some ID possibilities to research more thoroughly, but do not rely on them alone.

Set yourself up for success by starting off with mushrooms with no toxic look-alikes, or those with a few key features that clearly distinguish them from their toxic look-alike (morels, chicken or the woods, lion's mane, etc). Research mushrooms in your area, pick a few (seasonally appropriate) varieties to keep an eye out for. The fewer varieties you focus on, the less likely you are to get your wires crossed. And...

... learn their ecology and save yourself a lot of heartache looking for mushrooms in places they could never grow. Do they grow mycorrhizally with a certain type of tree? That is, do they form a symbiotic relationship with certain trees? Or do they grow saprotrophically, breaking down dead wood. Do they prefer certain environments? For example, I started off with black trumpets. They have no toxic look-alikes, and they are usually growing mycorrhizally with oak in mossy areas. I look at my feet for moss and acorns and then I know my chances are fair, weather permitting.

Foraging mushrooms

Get a knife, maybe a brush, and a breathable container (e.g. Basket, canvas tote) where your mushrooms won't get crushed. It's amazing how fast a plastic bag can speed up rotting. Also...maybe look up local knife laws.

Clean as much as you can in the field. Trim off the dirtiest part of the stem, check for debris.

Before you're confident with field identification, store different species and mushrooms from different patches in different containers. I take a canvas backpack with me with paper lunchbags that I label with a number. When I take pictures of the mushroom and it's environment, I also take a picture of the bag I'm putting them in. Because I am anal.

Just because a mushroom is a member of an edible species, doesn't mean that particular mushroom is good for eating. Mushrooms can get infested with bugs, or mold, or succumb to the ravages of time that come for us all. Give it a sniff, and if it smells off, it is. Check for bugs; especially with boletes. Scrape away the tubes to check (but only after you've gotten a confident ID; after you do this you can't take a spore print). For example, here are some pictures of some black trumpets which are choice edibles.

The ones on the left are good, but the ones on the right are no good. With black trumpets, I'll smell a bad one before I even see it. It's important to learn how a mushroom's appearance changes over its life cycle, or how weather conditions might change the appearance.

The "real" organism, so to speak, is the mycelium. The mushrooms are the fruiting bodies. So, make note of nice patches of your favorites. Depending on the type of mushrooms, it might fruit several times over a season. I take a screen cap of where I am on Google maps and save it alongside pictures of the mushrooms and selfies of me doing my excited mushroom face. Some mushrooms, like chanterelles, are slow growers. But others might only need a few days after a good rain to pop up.

Eating mushrooms

Don't eat multiple foraged mushrooms in one meal. Wait 1-2 days between varieties. Poison Control has a hard enough job as it is without you complicating things unnecessarily.

Thoroughly cook all mushrooms. Safety aside, that's just good culinary sense. Gotta caramelize those natural sugars, dontcha know. Maillard reaction and all that.

Even if a mushroom isn't "toxic," you might learn something new and upsetting about yourself when you eat it, like an obscure food sensitivity you inherited from that ancestor you never knew you had but now get to secretly resent. So, when eating a new mushroom COOK AND EAT A SMALL PIECE AND WAIT 24 HOURS. Wait for what? Hopefully nothing. But if you start getting stomach cramps, itching in weird places, or visual hallucinations, you may want to toss those mushrooms back into the wild. TBF to mushrooms, this is true of all food. I've yet to experience this with mushrooms, but I have had this experience with fruit! Did that stop me from eating fruit? No: my survival instincts aren't great. My ancestors were very lucky.

Different mushrooms can be stored different ways for the long term: drying, freezing, etc. But in the short term, a paper bag in the fridge is ideal.

When in doubt, butter or olive oil and a little sea salt. Also, cream and thyme are lovely with most mushrooms. Very thin mushrooms (e.g. Craterellus) barely need any time on the heat at all before they're done or past done, i.e. shrivelled up into a small non descript mass in the pan with all the texture of sad dirt jam.

Or just fry them in pancetta. You do you.

Most importantly: do your own research and a lot of it.

Foraging for mushrooms is hugely rewarding, and learning is a process: in this case, a very enjoyable one.

I mean... unless you poison yourself.

But still,

[gins-potter]

One Chicago Rewatch Extravaganza

02/03/22

Fire 2x03

Fire 2x04

Fire 2x05

Fire 2x06

Fire 2x07

Fire 2x08

thoughts under the cut

Fire - 2x03 Defcon 1

“wait is [your friend] hot?” “she’s straight” *sad face* big mood shay

i love how bad they try to make it seem like jeff is the mole and then nope turns out it’s this random other guy

jeez griffin is such a fucking shithead lmao

i still sound it so bullshit that gabby comes into the meeting about griffin, says basically the stuff that matt was saying but because it comes from her it’s supposedly so much better

wow capp has changed so much over the seasons, he definitely wasn’t the comic relief as much as he is now

not otis mixing up cinnamon and cumin

you know i liked isabella and mills, kinda sad that petered out

tbf jeff doesn’t help make himself look innocent either

severide randomly hooking up with zoya - rip

the saltine cracker challenge i’m fucking dead

oh the drama of dawson finding out about jay

Fire - 2x04 A Nuisance Call

dang that silence after darryl shoots himself where all you can hear is shay’s gasp is just - a very powerful choice

gad dawson is at her worst in this scene

herrmann doing pushups on the table is amazing lmao

not the squad guys casually breaking into hadley’s car

ANTONIO!

I love this theme - I think it eventually becomes the Dawsey theme but it started out as just a general Chicago Fire theme and its really pretty

eugh this bitch

what’s her name?

Fire - 2x05 A Power Move

boden telling mcleod to kiss his ass - fucking go off chief!!!!!!!!!!!!

mills asking if he still have to cook for the mole lt. lmao

it kinda pisses me off that they did with this with shay and then killed her off like less than a season later

also hurl at mills having to fin this victim’s toes

holy crap shay throwing her drink at the chick who cut her off - both worrying and iconic

ooooof i love this story jeff tells

lmao love all the transfer paperwork they give the mole lt.

mills calling isabella gabby - i would tear my own face off sdfghjkl;’

pft severide turning down zoya wanting to marry him and then going off and having a vegas wedding literally the next season

oh god could you imagine benny as chief - fucking disaster

oh my god hermmann vs casey fitness screech

ohhhhhhhh yeah Devon - that’s her name

rip gameday i guess

Fire - 2x06 Joyriding

i like seeing jeff in control, he would have been a good lt.

awwwww poor sweet little nathan as bryna and gina call him

kelly really is hella good with kids though

god devon is so fucked

can’t believe that’s the firs time we got to hear “this is detective jay halstead” be still my beating heart

oh the wall of badges scene always breaks my heart

Fire - 2x07 No Regrets

Katie!!!!!

Also lol at Severide thinking Katie was dating Benny

I miss Katie, can they bring her back?

ok i don’t love ingrid but she’s so cute with all of 51

oh i just realised what ep this was - i fucking love this one

honestly this episode is just perfection - i love it so much

Fire- 2x08 Rhymes with Shout

otis thinking buying fandom merch is the same as buying stocks fucking dead

everyone insisting on calling him choot will never not be funny to me

“can she just die in a car crash already?” - my mum about mcleod

“she’s messing with my man boden” - my mum after i told her that was a fucked thing to say

“alright i don’t like [voight] anymore” - my mum after voight threatens cruz over flaco

okay but part of dawson’s problem is that she’s constantly vindicated by everyone around her, literally no one ever actually says, girl you fucked up, when she did

ah see now it’s becoming the dawsey theme

was there every any confirmation if isabella did invite mills to that part because he’s black or was it left kind of vague?

“she’s in my bookclub” mouch i love you

lmao i totally forgot joe proposed to zoya and she said yes lmaoooooooo

and now dawsey are together...

alright i guess *le shrug*

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 3 』

· Sept. 27th → Irresistible Force ·

Characters: Karasuno team

Prompts: A. favourite team + B. crossover/AU

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), PG, fluff, crack, a teensy bit of angst (because who doesn't love a sad superhero backstory), headcanons, AU, superheroes, HaikyuuWeek2020

A/N: Again, I love all the teams and didn't want to pick, but life is cruel, so here I am. This is headcanons about my fav team (Karasuno) in an AU (superheroes). I was thinking of a Hero Association, kind of like in 'The Boys'? But less corrupt... Maybe more like in 'One Punch'? I think you get me.

All of my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts will be SFW, but I have NFSW content on my blog if that butters your biscuit. Feel free to check it out! Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ Imo~

Karasuno / Superhero Association AU

×

☆ Sawamura Daichi ☆

Powers: nigh invulnerability, super strength, enhanced healing

If he's not the ordinary cop that somehow befriends the heroes I was tempted then he's definitely the leader of the superhero group

Kind of like Superman in the old-school Justice League, just not as OP lol

Looks damn good is spandex those thighs *sweats*

Cape!! so ✨majestic✨

Probably wears dark-ish, neutral colours with a dash of blue

A bit serious. Not the kind of hero to go around making quips all the time, but will make light of his own suffering like Captain America

Takes younger heroes under his wing like the true Dadchi he is

Strong moral compass. Unbreakable

Won't hesitate to lay down his life for others

Who am I kidding. He's basically Captain America with a cape

Poster-boy for the Hero Association

×

☆ Sugawara Koushi ☆

Powers: telekinesis

A soft, pearly aesthetic with his suit, hair and skin. Lots of white and silver

A favourite among the ladies he's just too pretty, damm it T T

Very plucky and adorable

People in the vicinity will literally faint when he goes all serious to concentrate and use his powers

Has a duo move with Daichi where he literally throws him like a missle YEET

Has the most followers on Twitter and TikTok and his fans can be pretty nuts

Has a perfume line named after him and models for the adverts

Will smile like an angel right before bringing a building down on top of you fuck, I find this one really funny

×

☆ Azumane Asahi ☆

Powers: regeneration, enhanced stength

Kind of like Wolverine or Deapool but, like, much, much softer on the inside uwu

Wears green and black

Messed up big time back in the day and dropped off the grid out of guilt some people died :(

Was convinced to come back when his old teammates finally found him again because they needed his help in a crisis

Literally shed tears of relief when heroes and citizens alike welcomed him back instead of hating him mah heart *sniffs*

Can withstand seemingly anything and fully heal within a matter of days

Doesn't know the full extent of his powers himself. How exactly do one test it? 🤔

Still has to psych himself up for a fight, though big softy, really

×

☆ Shimizu Kiyoko ☆

Powers: electrokinesis, flight

Powers like Storm from X-Men, and kicks ass like Wonder Woman

Refuses to wear a revealing suit, but looks bomb af anyway

Kiyoko = absolute queen

One of the most powerful heroes, but doesn't throw her weight around unless she's kicking bady-guy booty

Stella gynamast, and has mastered several martial arts

Can literally throw a guy three times her size, all without any strength powers Tanaka: 👁👄👁

Somehow has perfect hair all the time secret superpower??

Is active on the political stage as a human rights activist, headlining women's rights yes, yes yes

Will strike you with lightning for sexual harassment

Comes up with really good mission plans

Is a soothing balm for Tanaka when he loses it

Black and gold aesthetic✨

Asymmetrical cape! super fashionable

Poster-girl for the Hero Association

☆ Tanaka Ryuunosuke ☆

Powers: fire generation and manipulation

Tanaka brings the heat literally

A bit of a chaotic-good, but what's new there?

Can get out of control if he loses his focus, so his friends have to keep him grounded Kiyoko is a literal angel when that happens

Kiyoko: Sun's getting real low...

Bonus points if you get the reference

Is terrified of hurting innocents if he gets out of control

It rarely happens, but if he loses his self confidence, his powers don't seem to work

Shouts cringy lines at the villains before roasting their asses lmfao

Wears a black and orange flame-retardant suit, and actually looks pretty fine in it 😌👌

Literally head over heels for Kiyoko just imagine it. Biggest hype man

×

☆ Nishinoya Yuu ☆

Powers: animal metamorphosis, enhanced speed

Think Beast Boy from 'Teen Titans', but less green he's more likely to be yellow or orange, lmao

Handy in lots of different situations. Very versatile

Incredibly cheeky and joins in with Tanaka's cheesy jokes and one-liners

Absolute maniac, but the people love him, especially schoolkids lmao

Has his own energy drink flavour, and he's STOKED about it

Yellow and black suit, kind of like his hair

Has a surprisingly large following of fans

Laps up the attention, but it doesn't really go to his head

Quiet and serious when he's on a mission/fighting

☆ Hinata Shouyou ☆

Powers: self replication, super speed, levitation

His powers took a while to properly manifest, which left him feeling isolated as a teen

Was pretty lost until Ukai helped train him

Got into a fight with Kageyama in an alleyway when he first met him MET HIM IN THE STREET, LMAO

Argues with Kageyama a lot at headquarters, but they work together like a dream when taking down bad guys

Has a heart of literal gold precious baby

Is contantly amazed when he helps significantly

Was inspired to become a hero by his idol, the Little Giant and it's his dream to inspire someone else 😭😭

Uses his replication ability to confuse the bad guys ULTIMATE DECOY

Levitates around the room when he's excited like Aang from ATLA, hahaha

Wears an orange, white and yellow suit with little wings on his heels cuuuute

×

☆ Kageyama Tobio ☆

Powers: water/ice generation and manipulation, breathing underwater, superhuman reflexes

I was tempted to give him fire/ice powers like Todoroki, but I didn't want to detract from Tanaka

Has problems focusing his powers, and can be quite turbulent in the heat of battle

Finds it hard to work well with others initially, but really makes an effort

Has hurt people close to him by accident before and never wants to do it again it would tear him apart

Becomes a power duo with Hinata when Ukai helps train them, even though they don't seem to get on well at first

Broody boi on the surface, but a cinnamon roll deep down

Wears a dark blue and deep purple suit that has fins to assist in underwater escapades which are his forte

Freezes Hinata's feet to the floor when he pisses him off or anybody's feet, tbh

Can dodge almost anything because of his reflexes don't ever try to punch him. You'll look stupid

Is surprised by the number of people in his fan club especially the number of women asking to marry him??

×

☆ Tsukishima Kei ☆

Powers: telepathy, superhuman intellect, mind control on weak-willed individuals

Prefers to outwit his enemies rather than getting into a brawl

But his self-designed gadgets and tech help him out if he has to a bit like Tony Stark, wink wonk

Sometimes makes you question if he's really a hero or not Tsukki, please

Doesn't take orders well

Baits villains by insulting them and getting the better of them with his words it's hilarious

Comes up with good plans, but improvises well with whatever he's got

Probably wears suits over his spandex most of the time fancy shmancy

Is prepared to die to protect Yamaguchi waahhh

×

☆ Yamaguchi Tadashi ☆

Powers: invisibility, force fields, teleportation

Susan Storm with added teleportation, lol

Often finds it hard to value his powers because they're not as visually strong and impressive as other people's

Rather than squaring up to a battle, he often has to 'hide' from it by literally going invisible

But he gradually becomes aware of how vital his powers can be, and learns to control them and make them as advantageous as possible

Is a highly important and valued member of the team

Soft bean that gets nervous and throws up before a fight

But he's hella determined and won't back down

Honestly, just wants to protect Tsukki and make him proud PROTECT HIM

×

☆ Yachi Hitoka ☆

Powers: size manipulation

She can shrink and enlarge herself and objects she touches at will, including other people

Sometimes shrinks really small to avoid social situations she doesn't want to be in samez, honey

The clumsiest and least experienced on the team

But she tries her best, gradually getting to grips with her powers

Sometimes uses her powers by accident, like when she's nervous

Once touched a watermelon slice on the refreshment table and accidentally blew it up to the size of a car Hinata, Kageyama and Noya fully dug in with their faces 😭😭

Nearly passed out when Daichi, the literal god of the Hero Association, told her she had great potential

Don't worry, Yams teleported and caught her

☆ Ukai Keishin ☆

Powers: laser vision, metal mimicry

The has-been hero who lost his enthusiasm for hero-ing and retired some years ago

Was really cool back in his hayday. Big hot-shot with a fan club

Has been working as a convenience store attendant to pay the bills and is bored out of his mind but refuses to admit it

Was convinced to get back in the game when he found Hinata and Kageyama fighting, both struggling with their abilities. He broke up the fight and agreed to coach them

Doesn't do much of the flashy hero stuff anymore, but will occasionally get stuck in when he's needed must protecc his children

Is only, like, ten years older than the other heroes, but they treat him like some fossilised sensei out of Natuto, or some shit

Tbf, he has the back problems of one 😭😭

×

☆ Takeda Ittetsu ☆

Powers: power absorption

Transferred from being a hero to hero management after having having issues with the effects of his powers he has a conscience :(

He felt guilty and responsible for permanently taking the powers of others, even if they were criminals

It was like removing a piece of their souls it kind of broke him

These days, he makes sure nobody knows about his powers, so it can't be used against him

He helps in any other way possible

He would only use his powers again in dire circumstances he knows he'll eventually have to

Is generally chipper and good natured, though

If he was ever captured by a villain, they'd probably send him back because he talks too much omg, hahaha

Helps gather info for the team and direct them on missions and in fights

Gives bomb inspirational speeches ✊

© imo-chan-imagines 2020