#tbh idk how i feel about this one but posting it anyway bc why tf not

[ghosthunterbuck]

different now

(buddie) (719 words) (6b spec) the rest of what i posted earlier, featuring eddie waiting for buck to wake up and calling the universe out on its bullshit

Buck’s name has been stuck in his throat for days now and Eddie’s starting to choke on it. 

Buck died. 

He died. 

He’s not dead, but he died, and he could die again and Eddie wants to start screaming all over again. Needs to, he thinks, because how else is the universe going to understand that if it takes Buck away from him, Eddie’ll never be whole again. 

I thought you didn’t believe in the universe, a mocking voice that sounds just a little bit like Buck says in the back of his head. 

“Yeah, well,” Eddie replies aloud, “you do. That’s got to mean something.”

He clasps Buck’s cold, still hand between his own and presses his forehead against it, bowed in a strange caricature of prayer. 

“You know, Hen told Christopher you were here, not me. The hospital kept me overnight for observation, so she picked him up from Carla. First thing he asked was where you were.”

Buck, predictably, says nothing. 

“Is that how you felt when– when I…” Eddie continues. “I don’t think I understood before. I thought I did, but… god, Buck, it’s different now, isn’t it?”

Eddie gently sets Buck’s hand back down on the rough hospital sheets and rubs his eyes tiredly. 

“I’m terrified,” Eddie admits. “What am I supposed to do if–” the lump in his throat cuts him off. 

His eyes catch on the scar peeking out from beneath the collar of Buck’s hospital gown. Unconsciously, Eddie reaches for his own burn, flinching when his fingers make contact. 

When he dreams, Eddie’s skin is pristine. There are no twin scars on his shoulders, no burn on his arm. Buck, too, is free from any permanent reminders of his wounds, past or present. The thin scar that’s sat at the base of his throat since the day Eddie met him is gone, and the skin of his left leg is creamy and smooth. 

Eddie wonders who those people are, the versions of him and Buck with no scars between them. Are they still… whatever it is that they are to each other? Or have they never even met. Maybe the only version of Eddie who never had a scar is the one who was lost to the desert. Maybe the version of Buck without scars is the one who never stopped wandering. 

A wave of anger crashes over him. 

“Why us?” he bites out. “Or– why him? He was trying to help someone. He didn’t deserve to be hit out of nowhere by some unseen force of the universe!”

Neither did you, the Buck-adjacent voice reminds him. 

“I know,” Eddie says quietly. He takes Buck’s hand again and squeezes it. “I also don’t deserve to watch another person I– I don’t deserve to watch you die. So you have to wake up, okay? For– for Chris, and for Maddie, and Bobby, and everyone else who loves you, and… and for me, okay?”

Buck’s hand twitches and a jolt of hope zips up Eddie’s spine. 

“Yes, Buck, yes,” he says, nearly jumping out of his chair. “You fight to come home to your family, okay? We need you.”

Eddie leans forward and brushes his thumb across Buck’s cheek. 

“Open your eyes,” he whispers. 

A small groan escapes Buck’s lips. 

Eddie freezes, not even daring to breathe for fear he might send Buck tumbling back down into whatever black hole his mind created to protect him.

Buck’s eyelashes flutter, then finally, finally, they open.

A tear slides down Eddie’s cheek. “Buck,” he breathes. 

Buck blinks a few times, gaze unfocused, until something seems to shift and his attention lands on Eddie. He opens his mouth as if to speak, but all that comes out is a soft rasp. He swallows and tries again. 

“Eds,” he barely whispers. “Hurt?”

“Yeah Buck,” Eddie says quietly, “you got hurt.”

Buck frowns and squeezes Eddie’s hand. “No. Are… you?” he asks, slowly, painfully. 

“No,” Eddie says in a rush of air. “No, Buck, I’m okay. Everyone’s okay. You–” Eddie closes his eyes. 

“M’okay too, Eds,” Buck says. 

“You are,” Eddie says. “Thank you.”

Buck’s brow furrows. “F’what?” he asks.Eddie shakes his head and laughs softly. For bringing him back to me, he thinks in the general direction of the universe. “For coming home,” he says aloud.

[piastri-lover]

who would have guessed; alex albon

summary: in which you and alex are dropping hints about your relationship, and yet no one seems to be getting the hint

pairing: alex albon x celeb!reader

author's note: i fucking love alex albon and this prompt!! icl i dont know he's so underrated but i enjoyed making this sm xx

INSTAGRAM

yourusername 📍tulum, mexico

liked by pierregasly, zendaya and 17293057 yourusername summer time x view comments

-

user1 i love y/n so fucking much

user2 wife

user3 are u kidding i was lit in mexico two days ago and NOW the queen is here -user4 lit flew out this morning i could have met my wife

zendaya having fun? ;)) -yourusername don't know what u mean by that --zendaya ill keep my mouth shut

user5 after 3 months of oppenheimer filming y/n prob needs a break -user6 she slayed as jean though --user5 100%

user7 mexico is my country and i'm so glad u love it liked by yourusername -user7 omg y/n liked my comment im done

user8 whos she with -user9 idk but someone def took that 3rd photo

user10 why is pierre in the queen y/n's likes?? -user11 i bet he forgot to switch accounts and liked without thinking --user12 ariana what are u doing here

~~~

TWITTER

~~~

~~~

INSTAGRAM

yourusername 📍tulum, mexico

liked by sydney_sweeney, landonorris and 32017295 others yourusername thank u for the restuarant reccomendation, we loved it xx view comments

-

user13 mother is mothering

user14 she's so fit -user15 that scene in oppenheimer changed me as a person

user16 THERES A BOY -user17 omg omg omg this is not a drill

sydney_sweeney y/n... -yourusername ill call u later and fill u in babe

user18 first pierre, now lando -user19 the entire grid is simping for y/n and tbh i don't blame them

user20 the soft launch is beginning -user21 im so ready to analyse every screenshot to try and work this out first

user22 i need that dress

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

alex_albon replied to your story:

alex_albon ur fans are going wild on twt rn

yourusername really?? i haven't checked

alex_albon mhmm like they havent stopped speculating for hours im sure i saw someone ship u with fucking lando

yourusername he is kinda cute...

alex_albon oy

yourusername im kidding we still going out for dinner tonight??

alex_albon yup its me and you, george and carmen and lando lol

yourusername all good

alex_albon pick u up at 8?

yourusername counting down the minutes baby love u x

alex_albon love u more x

~~~

landonorris

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 4103549 others landonorris my fave couples (im so alone) view comments

-

user23 umm

user24 lando babe i dont feel like u were supposed to post this

georgerussell63 he's passed out and i dont know his password idk what to do -user25 george are y/n and alex dating??? --georgerussell63 no lando was just feeling a bit silly

user26 george trying to defend alex and y/n when we obv know they're dating

alex_albon i let him take one photo and ofc he does this -yourusername at least we look cute --alex_albon we always look cute baby

user27 i wasnt sure about alex but look they're so wholesome

user28 im j wondering how tf alexander albon pulled the y/n -user29 me too --user30 like nothing against him but y/n is... well y/n

landonorris wait i thought this was my private

landonorris so so sorry -yourusername ur buying me a drink when we next go out --landonorris done and done ---alex_albon my girl has expensive taste lando u have completely shot urself in the foot

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

tagged: alex_albon liked by zendaya, pierregasly and 51294856 othersyourusername lando ruined my softlaunch(🖕🖕) but anyway i kinda love him so be nice xx view comments

-

user31 no bc theyre acc cute

user32 i hate to have to share my wife but it would be with him

landonorris ive apologised 1000 times idk what more to do -alex_albon she had the entire thing all planned out but no lando norris had to intervene --yourusername honestly im heartbroken i might need another bottle of champagne... ---landonorris fuck off y/n the last bottle was like £1000

alex_albon leng -yourusername appreciate it bro

alex_albon the last photo❤️❤️❤️-yourusername love u big man

user33 omg i hope we get to see her at a grand prix soon -yourusername im def coming to spa and we'll see after that

williamsracing already saving a seat for u -yourusername i cant wait xx

user34 dont know whether i want to be alex or her

user35 bi awakening -user36 fr

user37 sleeping on the highway tonight -landonorris ill be joining u --user38 landos so real for that

[quinnslogan]

Why Quinn runs away theory time

DISCLAIMER: What I think is going to happen doesn’t mean it’s what me/most of the fandom necessarily want to happen. Unfortunately, we didn’t write the movie so we don’t really know what to expect. I do trust though we’ll be happy with it the amount of insta comments Erin and Matt liked/responded to basically saying we as fans will be happy with how Quogan goes in this movie ❤️

Tbh I don’t think why Quinn runs away from the wedding is going to be super complicated. I think she’s kinda tired of how different her and Logan’s life is than it used to be judging by her telling Zoey “it’ll be the reunion we all need”. And that’s fine IMO i’m sure Logan’s world of rich is different than what she’s used to and it’s scary.

Then Logan being Logan is full bridezilla. I think Quinn tries to get him to relax a little and remember to have fun but knowing Logan she fails. Plus I bet his family isn’t going to be easy either. Also if you look closely in this pic Quinn looks super annoyed with Logan lol

And then or before the above scene whatever tf Zoey’s going to say in her rehearsal speech is going to make her more nervous about how much her life is about to change. So Quinn gets more nervous. I’m sure some point throughout she talks to Zoey about how she’s worried and Zoey brushes her off because in her head Quinn’s life is perfect and hers is the one that needs to be dealt with and overall just isn’t the maid of honor Quinn wanted her to be and overall Quinn just doesn’t feel like she has anyone to talk to. Logan’s definitely not indenting to make her feel like this at all (he loves that girl he’s been with her for FIFTEEN years and looks just as in love as he was when they were 16) but he’s just become obsessed with the actual wedding event and kinda lost track of what the wedding means (aka him and Quinn choosing to spend the rest of their life together <3)

Then they get to the altar!! Idk what exactly happens here but some little thing probably happens at the altar where like Logan forgot to write his vows bc he was too obsessed with making sure everything went perfectly he forgot to? (idk anyways something Logan does that makes her not want to get married THIS WAY). I say this way because in the reproposal scene she’s still wearing her engagement ring so it’s not like she dumps him she just doesn’t want to get married like this.

I think Quinn’s going to blow up at Logan and Zoey. Logan for whatever he did at the actual wedding and for forgetting about her in their wedding and Zoey for not being a very good maid of honor (bad rehersal dinner speech + constantly leaving the wedding for work or something (she’s not there the morning of the wedding in the trailer scene they’re all in PJs + if you look at the trailer she’s literally on her phone DURING the ceremony).

Anyways, Logan and Zoey feel guilty. Zoey probably brings up PCA she’s obsessed with that place and Logan gets the idea to buy PCA (Jamie’s insta post yesterday showed a pic where PCA was on sale) and him and Zoey are going to throw the wedding there. They get everyone together and we get the new trailer scene of Zoey going “alright everybody let’s get to work” and from a BTS pic that tumblr is being annoying and won’t let me upload everyone except Quinn is there in that scene. Then, I think Zoey makes some excuse and gets Quinn to PCA (Quinn is wearing a PCA shirt under her jacket when Logan reproposes. AND LOGAN PROPOSES (i’m so excited for this scene you guys don’t understand) and if my theory of him forgetting to write his vows or something is true then it goes in line with him giving a heartfelt speech about why he loves her and realizes he’s needs to remember to live more in the moment (symbolized by his tie in his hand)!! Quinn says yes they get married and live happily ever after!!

Once again this isn’t necessarily what I WANT to happen it’s just what I think will happen. I really really really do not like the bride runs away at the altar I mean I could’ve dealt with her running away before the wedding but her deciding while up there to run away is so awkward i’m sorry. Also most of this theory goes in hand with Erin’s insta comment about how the movie shows women struggling to move to the next phase/with change because change is scary (like that’s not just Zoey’s plot in this movie it’s Quinn’s too). Plus I do empathize with her Logan is my fave character but he probably isn’t the easiest fiancé haha (I imagine this being a very mondler like wedding situation except I don’t think the fear is necessarily about commitment like it was for chandler but for quinn it’s about how absorbed Logan got in the wedding she feels like he forgot about her and she loves this man it’s why she’s upset he’s so wedding obsessed she misses him like emotionally and for Logan he loves her obviously it’s why he’s trying so hard for their wedding to be perfect!!!

In general if you managed to read to this point idrc what happens i’m just so excited we’re getting out endgame like childhood me who would watch zoey 101 reruns is screaming

[moon-ursidae]

THE MANDALORIAN 3x05 SPOILERS

i wasn’t gonna do posts like these tonight but it’s lowkey easier haha ANYWAY THE PIRATE HERE WE GO

hmmm talkin about the darksaber in the recap👀

okay hold on they’re really shifting focus to bo katan and showcasing how good of a leader she is. and how she’s merging pretty well with children of the watch and the covert. and how she’s the only one that’s seen the mythosaur.

idk how i feel about it tbh

bc there’s so much fucking potential for din djarin and if that gets thrown out the fucking window for someone else to take over i’ll be pretty pissed

but i don’t know this is just me speculating

we’ll see where the season goes

ANYWAY

nevarro!

lmao the piece of the fucking ig statue missing

whoever is doing the va for gorian shard has a really cool voice

also sounds familiar

greef has grown hella i like it

OOOOO THIS INTRO IS COOL

this psychedelic music playing goes hard

I SAW DEBORAH CHOW

WAIT I HAVEN’T WATCHED REBELS BUT ISN’T THIS ZEB? is that what his name is?

KANE AHHHHHH

katy m. o’brian is so attractive holy shit

she knows exactly what she’s doing by stepping into this fucking office

moff gideon never made it to trial?👀

hmmm

IMPERIAL WAY OF THINKING HAHA TEAAA

she’s scary bro oh my god

poor greef dude he worked so hard to rebuild nevarro and it’s being destroyed in front of him and the citizens :(

HOLD UP HOW THE FUCK DOES TEVA KNOW WHERE THE COVERT IS

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BO’S SHIP

blue boy💀💀

GOD DIN WALKING THROUGH THE MANDALORIANS WAS SO ATTRACTIVE

teva’s a real one

sorry i’m giggling at the way that they have to hold the fucking forge hammer to have their turn to speak in front of the covert

like i’m just thinking about how funny it is that it’s basically “MOM SAID IT’S MY TURN. SEE? I HAVE THE HAMMER IT’S MY TURN”

oh god i’m scared of what paz has to say bc he’s gonna be good at convincing the covert to not help nevarro

or i’ll be surprised who knows

one tiny foundling that means more to din than you’ll ever know

damn i knew he was gonna argue

oh? oh??

spilling tea at the function??

he had me in the first half i’m not gonna lie

DIN DJARIN NAME DROP WOOO

again, showing bo’s leadership and tactical skills

“you can be heroes” YEA WE CAN BE HEROES JUST FOR ONE DAYYY

the school is the cantina again :(

i’ll never not smile like an idiot when i hear that fucking flute cue signaling my beloved din djarin

“i like those odds” NABSHSJDHKAKSGDKSBWKBDLWBSOSBSOSBSKDBKFBWOWHDKSJWKDBDLWBSPSBWKDB

YELLING

YELLING

THERE ARE SO MANY MANDOS THIS IS SO COOL

they’re also hella attractive

i have a type lmao

again, i’ve missed din djarin showing these bitches up when it comes to dog fights

“din, what’s your position?” HEARING HIS NAME BEING SAID SO CASUALLY STILL THROWS ME OFF

paz really said “hold my beer” goddamn

THAT’S A BIG ASS BLASTER

oh shit’s lowkey goin sideways

LMAO “he’s above you! he’s below you!” AND THEN DIN TAKING HIM TF OUT

oh my god the armorer is about to fuck shit up

the n1 is sexy but i still miss the crest

god i love the music

oh shit they really have a ton of land now

OOF THAT SHOT OF DIN NODDING AT KARGA?? H O T

the old covert :(

AND THE OLD MUSIC AHHHHHH

i’m seeing a lot of parallels from season 1 here 👀

“remove your helmet” HUH??

HUH??????

I AM CONFUSION

god kate is so pretty

“you have walked both worlds. you are the one who can unite us.” not din?? the one that holds the darksaber??

they’re really setting this up huh?

AND NOW SHE’S OUT WITHOUT HER HELMET ON??

“bo-katan walks both worlds” WAIT A DAMN MINUTE. WAIT. A. DAMN. MINUTE.

like every plot line they set up for DIN to have is being erased??

it’s all being moved to where those are now bo- katan’s plot lines??

she’s going to unite the mandalorians?? why does din even have the fucking darksaber??

she walks both worlds?? so why the fuck did din risk his life in the mines to redeem himself after the armorer cast him out for being an apostate???

the sudden switch up??? i-

HUH???

“she can bring all tribes together. it is time to retake mandalore.” why the fuck did they set this season up like din was going to do this.

the titular character is being moved to the sidelines in his own show??

they really said “din’s gonna move boba fett to the sidelines in his own show, so now din is gonna get moved to the sideline by bo katan in his own show”

idk i didn’t really like it tbobf either, as much as i love din. but that appearance and that story arc from tbobf where he got grogu back should have been saved for this season.

i’ll save that shit for later i still gotta finish the damn episode

whatcha find there teva?

details are classified???

new republic is pretty fuckin suspicious

NEW REPUBLIC PRISON TRANSPORT

SO MOFF REALLY NEVER FUCKING MADE IT TO TRIAL

damn this is lowkey graphic for disney w the bodies floating

WAIT I’M SO CONFUSED

TAKEN BY MANDOS??

fuuuck he’s gonna be suspicious of din’s covert

shhhiiiiiiittt

i still haven’t finished clone wars or watched any of rebels so i have no idea who these mandos could be other than death watch

i’ll find out! ONTO THE NEXT EP

[abcdosaka]

i feel like this was kinda a long time coming but it definitely feels weird to write it down.

having a weird time trying to, i guess, 'solve' my sex life and kinda by extension love life and reconcile it with having an actual relationship with my family. the hilarious part is the thing that brought this on was me shopping for toys lmao. this post is like half sex half depression.

like i was browsing dildos bc i wanna try to experience penetration for once without clenching up like a vise grip like i wanna try to learn to enjoy it bc ngl im getting a bit of fomo of all the other girlies out there. and also ive never really had the opportunity to kinda explore different things sexually like maybe i was just afraid but now that im basically financially independent its like i want to try. the same way i tried last year but this time i dont feel like there's other people or things holding me back. except there kinda is

anyway the entire time i was thinking like wait isnt this kinda like analogous to a man's penis? yeah no shit but its the realistic ones specifically that get me. i'm like wait i really do not like that. it really shoves in your face that like this is a MALE sex organ (which ya ik gender and sex is not real but for all intents and purposes in this case, it’s male). and its weird its like my brain kinda gets that im a lesbian but there's a disconnect with my body somewhere. like ok i know there's a huge thing about this and its like stepping on a minefield but just for me personally. i never thought i had a strong genital preference specifically like i always thought well, i like boobs and i like pussy and if i'm like watching porn or whatever and a dick pops up im like cool fine that is an object thats not a human. sorry to anyone i dehumanized just now. but its not like i HATE dick i think its alright sometimes even great but is it something i want inside me? idk. not really. especially not face to face with a man its just disturbing idk.

but point is im still kinda mentally in denial somewhere like my brain thinks theres some deep trauma or problem or bias against men that needs to be solved so that i can like men. but ive never been through a trauma like that. and obviously im well aware i am a little sexist like i dont vibe well with men. is that why? like i don't like the idea of having to have a relationship with a man bc i need to feel superior somehow? or maybe not superior but just not inferior. like its just more equal between women. yeah i think thats maybe it. but i feel like thats not just it. i also feel like theres some biologic instinct that turns me off to them. or maybe its nature vs nurture and ive nurtured myself so hard that im like well i can't like men now. the weird part about that is that i'd think it should be the other way around. like how straight incels will be like god i wish i was gay but i can't help being attracted to women. its a question ive been trying to solve for a decade and maybe i already know the answer but idk how to feel solid about it

anyway i saw one that was so cute it was like a bunch of pink hearts but its way too girthy. plus it was like $55 which is just. its probably normal for dildo prices that arent the microplastics shein ones but also like seriously. i might wait for if it goes on sale if i think ill like it after i try a smaller one. ill have to order it next week bc i wanna ship it to the post office so theres no chance my upstairs neighbour would get it by accident. but tbh ive experienced enough embarassing things that when i recall them i dont even get embarassed im just numb so i think if that happened itll just go in the numb pile or maybe funny pile.

now to the kinda sad part. how tf do i tell my family? ive always known that im gonna have to tell them sooner or later and id do it after im financially independent but this is the thing in my way that i was talking about. my family is not perfect or even close at all but idk. they kind of are all i got. yeah i have friends but nobody close enough to call in an emergency or whatever. and i feel a bit bad bc they have actually done a lot for me. like the shit before uni was whatever like thats what you do for family but everything they helped me with during uni, even though i hated it, i did need their help. i guess if i had other people to rely on i wouldn't have. but im a really fucking guarded person like i really dont like trusting people like that. at least with my family i believe they wouldn't screw me over bc of something petty. i moved halfway across the country so i could have the sort of privacy i wanted and seems like my mom knows that but i talked to her today and she was like maybe i could come visit in july and i was like alright i guess. but now im like wait so what happens if i start dating.

i actually really dislike that it seems like everyone in my family, extended and all, all of the sudden wants to hang out all the fucking time.

you know i bet they wouldn't even acknowledge it. in which case im not gonna acknowledge that they aren't acknowledging it. like ill just pretend they accept it. i need to make some queer friends here like actually

or maybe it isn't as big a deal as i think it is. i do live pretty far away. wtf are they gonna do from all the way over there lmao. nobody's gonna kill me over it. worst is i probably get disowned or cut off. or ill have to be the villain and cut them off. thatll be interesting

[bigmack2go]

Ok so i found something from a while ago and never posted it so here u go ig

Ok first coment: „hey, i just noticed qll the little deatails. You’re really in character, good job!“

(Might not have been abozt that but like i feel like it was)

LMFAO SOMEONE PASSING BY JUST YELLED AT ME ACROSS THE ROOM„wrong foot!“ I CANT 😭💀

Ok so apparently a lot of people know what foot kaz hinks on???

Lmao this one came from my friend who went to the con w me??? „You wanna be completely in character? Hink! Trust me thats the deatails“ i just sort of looked at him fir a minute and then he went „cuz rn ur just walking like u alsways do“ and idk what do respon😭😭😭

Cleared tho whole thing up. Apparently the motherfucker didn’t knew i hinked??? Anyway so i think he’s just an idiot bc i cant believe what he said later. Half an hour later he said „you’re hinking with the wrong foot“ LIKE MF I CANT CHANGE ME DAMAGED FOOT IM SORRY

Ok so i won a price omfg

Im honestly embarrassed by how fucking dumb and oblivious my friends are cuz i think at least seven strangers noticed my limb today and pointed it out and at least as many friends of mine that know me for a very long time haven’t even known about it? I mean i dont rly bring it uo but you have eyes.

Just won another price for being in character. Like the guy SAID IT OUT LOUD.

Why do so many people know which foot Kaz Brekker the Bastard Of The Barrel™️ hinks on?

Someone asked if i choose the character with the limb on purpose 💀💀 (worst part is: yes. Yes i fucking did😭😭💀)

Ok this one was kind of cute. I dont think they knew the character but they noticed i was hinking and asked if i was okay🥹 my heart melted

Its really weird how people are super supportive about kaz and tell me they really like that i represent disabled people by cosplaying him but at the same time just assume that my limb is fake??

Lmfao someone just said im a furry for hinking😭😭

I didnt think that ACTUALLY so many people would notice that im not hinking on my left.

I made this more as a joke tbh. I expected them to notice the limb but the side guys?? Seriously?? I was joking!!!

So turns out that i the only reason i permanently hurt my foot when i was eight, was so i‘d get attention (which i absolutely love! I love love love being the centre of attention for something that isn’t even represening me as a person! And the pitying? *cheffskiss*🤌🏼) and could say im representing kaz? Who I absolutely totally knew about when i was EIGHT? I mean ofc like duhhh. What did u think?

Ok so ive never had so many people even notice my limb on one day and now they’re all kinds of people noticing?? some are insulting my about it?? Why tf are you insulting for a limb? Like thats a genuine question: why?

Conclusion: even tho there were less people at that convention than living im my town, there were still 5 times more that ever noticed mine in years of having it there at one day

[daenerysoftarth]

Don’t read thanks babes. Posting here until I’m sober enough to copy and paste it somewhere else

Lol I feel like I hide an unnecessary amount of information on this blog. What would y’all do if I told you that I never met my dad and am considering meeting my paternal grandmother for the first time nextish year????????

Tbh I think it’s the shame. It’s just so so so strongly associated with anything to do with my father. And even typing that out feels horrendously vulnerable. Maybe I’ll hide this under a read more to assuage my ego at least a bit

Anyways just. The shame there is soooo fucking intense and I hate it. I hate feeling like it’s this big factor I have to account for but can’t look too closely at because my emotions are so complicated about it all. I know that sentence didn’t make sense but it did to ME so that’s what matters. But I’m deflecting

I’ve said it before but it has been a big part of my life, more so for how I’ve felt ostracized and othered from the time I was a child on account of not having a father. And the racism overlap???? Gotta love it. Facing microaggressions from my own family bc they’re white as hell, and the Latino half is inaccessible. Microaggressions I don’t even realize are microaggressions until almost 20 years later. Feeling constantly out of place, out of my skin, not quite belonging

Tbh I’ve never particularly wanted another family, but I have always really wanted a culture, an identity, a community to coalesce around. Especially being so Alone as I was, the only latina in a household of white people. Almost one of them but not quite 100%

Anyways point being. I feel like Jon Snow sometimes. Like ignoring the Themes and Plots and what makes them interesting bc it brings up too many Big Emotions. Meanwhile it’s that very subject matter is WHY you were written, it’s what makes you interesting and fascinating. And idk I know I shouldn’t think of my life from the pov of an omniscient narrator but it just kinda goes there. Bc who even is this omniscient narrator? Ancestors, God, who tf???? And what level of choice is involved here?????

I guess it’s just another way of using faith and divinity to try and find reason for difficult subjects. A kinda way to distance myself I guess.

Anyways we all just ignore It in my family which is kinda hilarious bc sometimes it’s really just staring everyone in the face. But mostly it makes me feel deeply ashamed of it all.

[ryuusjacket]

okay so i wanted to share this post that i made a while back from my personal nsfw blog but i feel kinda embarrassed just reblogging it here and showing off the url to that blog publicly (i. literally have like 2 maybe 3 followers on this blog so far lmao) even tho like. i Do share the url w ppl who i trust and who Want to read long ass posts that go into indepth descriptions of my sexual identity, my sexual health, my desires/feelings with regards to sex, and my experiences w sex (w myself bc idk how to initiate a sexual encounter w another human being). you're welcome to dm me for the url if ur Really interested in reading turbo tmi content (it is all text btw. idk how to take nudes so those don't exist sorry)

ANYWAY i sometimes do thought dumps on there that involve nsfw topics like smut fanfic n stuff, so i've tried to brainstorm for my planned sskk fic on there before and well i actually found a wordy one i did where i rlly tried to explain in detail just exactly i Want to create and accomplish w this fic idea of mine. and even just re-reading the post myself, i found it to be very concise and illustrative of my goal for the fic's overall mood and tone. it was a very well-needed reminder for me to read my thought process from a month or so back when i was a bit more hyped to begin this project.

so yeah! anyway im just gonna copy and paste the whole damn post here bc i think it's an interesting read and good presentation of my inner thoughts wrt to what i'm hoping to write (hopefully) someday soon. and really... this fic idea is still barely in its infancy like there's still SO MUCH left to brainstorm and plan out like fuck!!! it's still too early to even start an outline doc (and that's like one of my fave parts of the fic writing process)

oh and some background context: a few months ago there was an event on twitter/ao3 (not sure if here on tumblr? i unfortunately don't follow many or any bsd/sskk blogs at ALL yet) for bottom akutagawa week which was HEAVEN for me 🥰🥰🥰 literally could not have been a better event to appeal to my interests in this fandom i s2g. and i got my hopes up that maybe i could write a lil fic in time to share during the week but that unfortunately didn't happen. anyway here's the post:

so i might not be able to write the bsd smut fic i was initially hoping to publish during the bottom aku fan week this week... but that doesn't mean i have to give up on this fic project completely! if anything now i don't have to worry about meeting an irrefutable deadline and i can technically do anything i want. so yeah i still wanna write this fic.

but first. i have to figure out What The Fuck i'm gonna write lmao cause i still don't fucking know. i was Intending to do a < 4k word one-shot fluffy getting together that somehow... transitions into a sex scene. and i still wanna do that... but i just. don't rlly have any specific detail or image or moment or dialogue line in mind to start building a story from. AND LIKE yeaH i know that sounds dumb cause it's like. if i don't have ANYTHING fantasized yet then WHY AM I EVEN BOTHERING to start this fic at all!?

.......im not really sure tbh lmao

nah it's cause i love these dudes and i wanna write something for them and interact w the sskk fan community.

i literally just. need to figure out the BARE BONES premise to this dang fic. like where tf is it gonna take place? is it mid/post-mission? is it at one of their flats? also WHERE are they gonna HAVE SEX???? im actually a big fan of sex scenes happening in non-conventional places (e.g. some dusty ass room in an abandoned building they were investigating or in a public restroom oR FUckinG in an airplane holy shit i haven't seen that one done yet lmao MILE HIGH CLUB ONE-SHOT LETS GOO) but yea idk maybe i should just. keep it simple and do what every other fic does and let them get down at ryuu's place in his luxuriously huge bed (that hasn't canonically been shown, let alone wherever he lives)

i should AT LEAST settle on how fast this fic is gonna be paced. tbh i kinda Always prefer sskk's first time being a bit... feverish and rushed. it just suits them best. maybe there’s a little angst or miscommunication of feelings/intentions thrown in before they Eventually get their shit/feelings together. but anyway i don’t wanna write that lmao that’s too complicated (but like. yeah. these are two Very complicated (i.e. traumatized) guys with a VERY complicated relationship so. yeah it’s actually kinda rare/weird to imagine things working out Too smoothly for them tbh). 

while objectively that complicated/messy/aggressive type shit is their Brand, i would still like to keep things soft and gentle and Nice. that stuff is Not Impossible w these two ofc. it’s... tricky, but def possible. and i wanna achieve That. a getting together that is soft, hesitant, shy, and puts a heavy emphasis on Both of these men’s inexperience wrt romance and sex (that. is. my. Shit. they are both virgins and absolutely clueless and i Refuse to accept anything other than that. ......okay no... that’s not rlly true... basically all of my fave fics have a somewhat experienced atsushi and that’s okay bc like. how else is he gonna be able to Take Care of ryuu if he doesn’t already have an idea of how to take care of someone during sex? anyway ryuu is the most virginal virgin of all virgins to exist THAT IS INDISPUTABLE!!!!!)

so. i guess what i’m wondering is... how fast can i manage to pace the flow of the story while still keeping it soft overall. cause i don’t feel like writing a super super hot n filthy sex scene that’s charged and exhilarating and just a fucking blur of fucking. i wanna write feely, emotional sex. an aching intimate exchange of trust between them, still laced w hesitance and anxiety and sheer disbelief that this is really happening and that they can have this. both of them express unwavering consideration for each other’s comfort, constantly asking for consent and reassuring the other that “yes, i want this. yes, that feels good. yes yes yes.” they’re both taking careful, yet still enthusiastic, steps together. TENDERNESS is my ultimate goal here.

so yeah anyway i’ll try to keep thinking about this and hopefully i can actually come up w some ideas that i wanna implement into whatever this fic eventually becomes. just haven’t had enough time.... or horniess.... to get down to some real brainstorming yet lmao

[yakocchi]

Our Prenuptial Nightmare // Eisuke

hooray, finally the end to this dumb season LOL but i like this one a lot…… maybe it’s even the one from this season only worth reading (i havent read all of them tho)

well this one is actually kind of refreshing bc as i posted before, it’s abt the MC losing her memories. she’s not just a season 1 blank slate… she doesn’t remember anything after getting a job at the Tres Spades, so she barely remembers her own friends as well. yikesu

my rambling behind the cut

so eisuke honestly treats her the same as he always does, just obviously more distanced (im gonna read the His POV after this so idk rn). shes pretty spooked about this scary guy, maybe even more than she was in season 1 since he’s way more caring about her health or w/e despite being a CEO and all. for a pretty long time, he keeps her stuck in the hospital. he brings her a dvd that contains a media appearance of him publicly introducing her as his fiancée and she’s like “tf, is this a prank???” and all sorts of ppl visit her and stuff. shes still pretty much in disbelief about the whole thing until her parents come visit and they clearly know who this weird guy is

eventually she gets stuck in his penthouse instead. tbh she’s probably not “healthy” enough to work rn given that she doesn’t remember anything about her job, but she can’t even step one foot outside the room without soryu and his goons (appointed by eisuke) being like “HEY WAT U DOIN” so it’s kind of dull and jarring for her haha. later she finds a diary that she wrote in before her memory loss and she’s like “oh wow……. i was simpin that hard for this guy huh” (ok more like “wow, i really love this guy huh”… but i mean same thing). she also wants to make food for him and cooked up a risotto but since eisuke’s been busy af, she ends up falling asleep before he comes home (late) to eat it.

then eventually she presses forward about learning more bc she feels that eisuke is hiding a lot about himself, esp. in terms of what he does. and shes right abt that bc hes purposefully not saying anything abt the black market auctions, etc. eventually eisuke gives in and explains to her the whole 20m bid thing that started this whole romance. she tells him she wants to learn more, and so eisuke turns it into a whole date. They have a date that’s the “type of date for a first date”, and then it concludes with the inn at Kobe.

PART 2 eisuke makes it sound like hes gonna bone her but obv the guy is just teasing for the most part and it ends p cute bc he’s sweet (sweet for his standards) about it. later they go to that same petting zoo or w/e with the cute bunnies. lol eventually the same bunny that doesn’t seem to hate him shows up too. they end up bringing the rabbit home (the rabbit’s name is Maron, as in “chestnut”) to take care of. i guess maron is their animal bebe now it’s been like a month, so she returns to work eventually. hikaru notes that she’s doing pretty well for someone who doesn’t remember how any of this works. but then later, she passes out while remembering the strange discussion she overheard the day she lost her memories. eisuke goes WAH MC and then when she eventually wakes up and he’s like “it’s ok, dw abt it” while she’s like “bro i got something to tell u”. next day he tells her that he’s made her the Floor Leader of the eventual “Tres Spades Maldives”, but then she realizes during the flight that the man with her is not Eisuke, but Yuuma sent there to comfort her and also to do the Maldives business stuff. it’s obvious eisuke’s trying to separate from her. after all, it’s been a month and there’s no sign of her memories returning. he’s pretty blunt about organizing all of it without her realizing (wow what’s new). she’s really sad about it but relents and goes with it anyway. i mean eisuke is obviously pretty sad about it too since he parts with her with that genuine smile and says along the lines of “Don’t forget… that I’ve always loved your dumb face.” why i QQin BRO

well hikaru and yuuma are here in maldives so not too bad. also the penthouse bedroom is pretty good, it’s an aquarium lookin thing anyway so obv eventually the “generic gangster model” guy has to show up and kidnap her. well yuuma comes to the rescue and blahblah they want to murder her bc eisuke knew too much abt business nonsense going on again and then she dives into the sea. before she drowns, the real eisuke miraculously shows up to save her blahblah everyone else comes to save the day (2) and then they return to the Maldives suite. eisuke is like “smh i should’ve taught u how to protect urself” (…) “swear to me that u will not behave like an idiota ever again” and her memories come back after she goes “I can’t promise that (…) if you put yourself into danger, then I will continue to do the same” and has a flashback of his confessions from various seasons. HUGS lol that cg really has him going :I before a : )

everything goes back to normal, she finds a ring on her right hand and they’re wearing like… couple rings..... boi you guys are supposed to be married soon, just wait for those well fin. i skipped a buncha stuff in this “ramble” but yea my first impressions and all

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

Hey bb! <3

You’ve quickly became my favorite bakugo writer, how you write him just feels so real to me. every time I see you post something new I get so happy!

I’m seeing ya write a lot about blasty with crushes and or S/O’s but not really about how he gets into a relationship so I propose to you how do you think he would realize his feelings and act upon them? If he even would lol he’s so stubborn and awkward with feelings I swear.

Anywho I love you and I’m glad your blog is getting the attention it deserves!!

hmmm hmm hmm tysm @kits-mania for the ask, this is a good one!! also ahaha i wrote this with tiny baby UA bakugou in mind bc his comedic potential is seriously limitless 

--/--

-ok, to start, so basically, he’s a mess. an absolute mess. 

-yes, yes, ik, we’d all love for him to be like, cool and smooth and suave and spit crazy game but he’s just not that guy. he’s a snarling animal at the best of times and an outright asshole every other second of the day.

-(honestly, if u asked me, the only confession you could ever get that would somehow be more disastrous than bakugou’s would be if u got one from tamaki. and even then, tamaki is a sweetheart so u would 100% be much more forgiving)

-but that’s not the point, what is the point is that bakugou would just be so weird around u and that’s how he recognizes his feelings

-lmao like he’ll be so ridiculous with his mood swings,,, very yelling at you for breathing one second, bc even that somehow flusters him, n then the next second he’s recommending an extensive list of personalized training exercises (that he devised) for you and telling you to shut up if you try to thank him for it

-and he’ll do those things almost without thinking about it. like, he’s already impulsive, we been knew, but for this?? pls he absolutely cannot control himself. he’ll just keep accidentally doing nice things, that he’d never do for somebody else, and he knows this. but then he also feels like he’s gotta act like a dick to cover the strangeness up

-and after being rude, to save face, bakugou’ll be in his head totally “man, i’m the best at this. i bet they don’t even know i fuckin’ like them!” n like, yeah, he’s right, you 100% don’t, but everyone else around him does.

-very obvious to his friends how quiet he is when you come up. like, he’ll say shit about everyone at any given time, but when you come up in conversation?? absolute crickets from him. (this is bc bakugou wants to keep his mouth shut, to avoid suspicion obvi, but in doing so he almost doesn’t seem like an asshole. n when bakugou isn’t acting like a dick that’s when you know somethings up)

-so, those two things combined,,, the mood fluctuation and uncharacteristic behavior make it pretty clear to himself that he’s got a crush. now, don’t get me wrong, he’s gonna be clueless on how to do anything about it, but bakugou’s not dumb. he’ll realize his feelings pretty quickly after they form

-now, for the acting upon his feelings part- whew boy.  talk about an embarrassing turnout

-basically, he’s not gonna do shit at first. he’ll recognize his feelings and he doesn’t want to be a wimp about them, but he also kinda just wants them to go away. so he’ll wait it out. bc it’s embarrassing.

-but if that doesn’t work, and he really does just have one hell of a crush,,, then all he’ll be able to do, at first, is work up the courage to finally not be an asshole,,, using little gestures that include but are not limited to:

1.) offering you a pencil when you lose yours. alright, alright, ik, very small, but this is bakugou alright?? mans doesn’t give up anything unless somebody tries to kill him for it and somehow manages to succeed

2.) let’s u copy off his school work/homework etc. obvi not all the time, but if ur in class, at the very end of a test, n he sees you looking over, bakugou will just sit there. he won’t put his arm over his work. not like he would if it was anyone else but you

3.) when you ask him things, he’ll answer. and there’s a pretty good chance he won’t tell u to fuck off at the end (what a miracle)

4.) will probably try his best to avoid exploding/hitting your face during training exercises. now ofc, if u get paired up with him for sparring, rip say ur prayers, bc he will by no means go easy. bakugou doesn’t even know the meaning of going easy. but he will keep his punches and burns away from ur face. probably also tries his best to only explode you thru the fabric of ur costume. so you don’t end up with burns (what a gentleman. not.)

5.) if you drop something on the ground in front of him, and he’s closer to it then you are, he’ll pick it up for u. u know, like a normal person for once.

-okay so as u can see, those things, which are very big for bakugou, are tiny. so tiny. and no other person is going to see those regular-human gestures as romantic interest bc why would they??? 

-see what i mean by embarrassing?? pls i love him but come on man

-but anyway, he’ll do that for a while. like probably up to a full month tbh

-and the entire time he’ll just be pissed bc ur not getting it. so he’ll keep doing those little things more often in the hopes that you’ll finally understand, but ofc u dont

(sidenote: bakugou having a crush is rlly funny to me bc if any of the bakusquad asked you what you thought about him all u’d have to say is “idk? normal? he’s whatever?? what is this question about?” bc his gestures are so small. so small that they just read like normal person behavior, and thus you have no significant opinion about him. and that’s just v comedic to me bc the absolute shock on their faces when u say that? pls they’re like “Y/N we cannot deal with either of you anymore. bakugou is not normal to people??? obviously he likes you!! why do you not get it?!!!”)

-but n e wayz, yeah he’ll continue with the little shit for a while and then just impulse confess

-pls bakugou is 0-100 or not at all,, so he’ll be completely content in his weird behavior until one day he’s just fed tf up with you.

-like ur walking around with a nice outfit and your hair done up,, just 100% living normally, but for whatever reason the sight of you that day accosts him. just pisses him off bc he likes you, a lot, and it’s embarrassing

-so he just impulse confesses right there in the heat of his anger. very “jesus fuck, you really went ahead and did it now, idiot. you really fuckin’ piss me off. i’ve been busting my ass for weeks now, bein’ fuckin’ nice as shit to you, and you’ve got nothing to say? just gonna walk around like that, on purpose, and keep fuckin’ quiet?”

- n you just “....?” 

-and he’ll roll his eyes and huff and probably clench his hands into fists and “i like you. dumbass. fuckin’ obviously.” 

- and suddenly you just “oh.” bc now it’s very clear to you how much of a relatively ?pleasant? person he is around you and how much that contrasts with the absolute asshole he is to everyone else

-pls ik everybody says he’s a pomeranian but like, no, seriously he is. he’ll pick one person to like and act normal around,, but to everyone else?? pls guard ur ankles he will bite tf out of them 

so, in conclusion, bakugou with a crush is an embarrassing but oddly endearing affair. very much a guy who fumbles all the way to the finish line, but he doesn’t give up. not ever, and especially not when u piss him off sm (read: fluster him sm) just by being yourself 

[mego42]

Hey! So I really enjoy your two cents on every Good Girls topic so I’m hoping you can weigh in on the S2 Brio kiss (or point me in the direction of a post if you already have done this!). When the ep first aired I remember twitter was full of people saying they hated the kiss cos it was awkward etc. I don’t get into the dramas like the cast not getting along etc (I mean I find Rio hot as fuck but Manny’s instagram presence makes me want to yeet him off the planet)…so I took the scene for what it was and there was a lot i liked about it: i.e. the broad daylight, Beth leaning in first, the tugging each others clothes off. Would love to get your take!

omg i LOVE how awkward the kiss is tbh. like, think about it:

this is, if not beth's second first kiss, her first first kiss in over twenty years, girls gonna be rusty, right?

i think one of the best things the scene captured is how fragile that moment was, between the way manny and christina play it and the resounding silence, the way they let the ambient noise shine (you can hear the buttons on beth's coat hit the floor, the floorboards creak when she leans in and kisses him the first time, the click of the latch when she shuts the door is loud af, the wet noise when they pull back after the first kiss??????? the sound dept really went tf off with this one and i love that for us)

the whole scene makes me feel like i'm holding my breath right up until i'm not

and also like, this is the cumulative build up of months of lingering stares and personal space issues and intense fascination and growing respect and (grudging, maybe) affection and tension and want

and i v much mean on both their ends

beth's nervous af, idk if i would say rio's nervous but he's definitely aware and tentative in a way we've ever seen him

he's v v carefully letting beth make the first move every step of the way, even when he meets her in the middle of the room and leans in, he waits for her to cross the dividing line between them

(ugh and the way she keeps pausing and looking at him like she's looking for his reaction because she's always looking for his reaction but also like she's waiting for him to move in and take over because he also does that too but he's not because this is different this isn't business it's personal, the most personal they've ever been)

and even when she does he still waits and lets her drive the moment

(the only time he crosses it, well, until, is when he pushes her hair back which is their thing and even if maybe he started doing it to mess with her bc lets be real he started doing everything he does to mess with her, i also think at some point it started being real and he meant it in 213 when he said he likes doing it and i think that's why he tried to do it in 303 to prove that it didn't mean anything anymore but he also couldn't touch her face bc it did and it does mean something and i cRY but that is a whole entire tangent)

but he waits for her right up until he can't anymore and he lunges because he's been waiting for and wanting this just as much as she has

i truly do not have words to describe what the lunge does to me, tbh

like he waits and waits and waits and then breaks

and then it's messy because both of them are just like, completely overwhelmed and undone by the fact that this is happening

i love the way beth's hand flutter around like she has absolutely no idea what to do with him or where she wants to touch him first and is completely unequipped to figure it out or deal with it so she just kind of flits from shoulders to

and he's just holding on to her and going for it because oh my god after all this time it's happening and it's real (except it's not but also it is and again i cRY)

oh god and the brEATHING

i should send the sound dept a gift basket tbh. a tasteful edible arrangement or something, they really understood the assignment here

(the lighting dept gets coal bc as much as i love the whole backlit silhouette thing thematically it is the WOST THING TO GIF)

so anyway, yeah, there's a lot going on and personally i love tf out of the awkwardness bc much like that ambient sound, it just makes it that much more raw and real and vulnerable and it makes me want to tear out my hair and run around screaming at the top of my lungs

[neqeyam]

Kaeya Head Canons!

hey besties, me again! Kaeya brainrot hit hard today LOL, anyways some of these may be ooc bc I don’t main Kaeya anymore so i’ve forgotten a lot about his character plus I don’t read the lore (where tf do yall find it even). 

Also if some of my head canons for any charcter seem personal or have nothing to do with their character it’s me projecting LOL! 

anyways, onto the hcs!

(ps, thank you so much for the love on my last hc post! i really didn’t expect anyone to see it LOL)

He’s a menace. but everyone loves him

Kaeya skips, when he isn’t in a professional setting my guy is skipping. It’s so much faster than walking and more fun than walking. 

This^ is especially true when he’s out with his s/o. holding your hand, he’ll skip and force you to either jog or skip along with him to keep up. 

Again I say; he’s dating Albedo. Kaeya saw Albedo from across the bar and without missing a beat he got up, waltzed over and started flirting with him. Albedo had no idea what was happening, he then asked sucrose to accompany him the next time he went and it was sucrose who broke the news to Albedo that he was being flirted with. Kaeya laughed for 5 minutes and refuses to let Albedo forget it. 

(oh my god tell me why as soon as I go to write these they all leave my mf brain im sorry if these are terrible) 

Kaeya taught bennett how to sword fight, and still does on the rare occasion he has a free hour. 

^most people of Mondstadt think bennett went to Kaeya for help but that’s not true. Someone sent in a letter to AGM Jean (the hand writing looked suspiciously like Diluc’s but he refuses to admit it was him) saying that bennett was looking into learning the art of the sword. The next day Kaeya dispatched himself to look for bennett and for the next two months (technically it’s been like two years but bennett is a fast learner) Kaeya was a dad. 

Kaeya absolutely despises working out but he does it anyways because he wants to be able to pick up kids. 

Kaeya is AMAZING with kids, he makes jokes about hating them but when he sees one he melts. He has to work with them a lot because he is often dispatched for travel mishaps (hilichurls attacking carriages, that sort of thing) and often times the parents are injured so he has to comfort any kids that may be on scene. 

Kaeya is buff, absolutely jacked. you can’t see it because he dresses modestly (sorta) to down play his physical strength but my guy can deadlift like 350 LBS (idk if that’s a lot tbh I don’t workout anymore LMAO)

Kaeya is as smart as he is muscular. He’s among the smartest knights, probably top three (it goes kaeya, jean, lisa). HOWEVER, he ranks first in battle intelligence. my guy can analyse four opponents at the same time, find all their weak spots and exploit them in matter of seconds. 

Kaeya is also a master of manipulation. i can see it in his eyes, this man knows the mind of all his enemies, old and new. 

(wait now i’m imagining Kaeya riding a horse that’s full sprint HELP. I’m turning myself into a Kaeya simp....)  

Kaeya’s horse is all black except for a white patch that looks suspiciously like the star from Khaenri’ah (it’s on its lower neck). his horse is also by far the fastest in the entire company and was once part of a herd of horses that roamed Mondstadt’s country side. (Diluc helped him tame it but shhh nobody is supposed to know)

^Kaeya was extremely pissed of when Varka took his cavalry, still is in fact. I mean, he’s the cavalry captain damn it, find your own horses. Especially because there were enough horses so Kaeya’s could stay behind in case he needed it for something, but NOOOO Varka refused anything but teh best- which happened to be Kaeya’s horse.

Kayea’s named his horse Außenseiter, and that is absolutely a reflection of his feelings. 

Kaeya is fucking fantastic at masking what he’s feeling, you’ll never know what he’s actually feeling. If a situation starts to go downhill, you won’t know it until it’s practically too late because Kaeya is just. that. good. 

he’s also fucking fantastic at playing the long game. nobody knows but he’s the knights of favoniouses official interrogator and he is a menace. he always gets what he wants out of people, whether it takes two hours and two months, he gets it, and reports directly to AGM Jean his findings. 

Kaeya and Eula share ‘war stories’ (how they go their visions mostly, but other things like the way people treat Eula, and how they chalk Kaeya up to being ‘just a flirt’) 

he has a fan club. they aren’t as loud as the Diluc fan club but he knows they’re there. sometimes he’ll pop in on meetings and everyone just. fucking freezes bc their lord and savior- THE Kaeya is standing in their presence. he loves them. 

He openly talks about liking anyone he wants to so that the youth of mondstadt can talk about as well. and the LGBTQ+ of mondstadt know that if they’re having a problem with someone they have his permission of threaten said person with his name. 

^and archons hope he isn’t in the vicinity when it reaches that point. all rational goes out the window and then he’s all threats and no jokes. with a threatening smile that screams “test me, see what happens” 

^then he treats whoever was being disrespected to a meal, on him.

and that’s all for now! thanks again for the love on my first head canon post! i really need to learn how to use tumblr so i can make a masterlist of these LOL. there will definitely be more coming soon!

[enderspawn]

dream smp asagao au, aka the very specific high school au

also aka the post thats very self indulgent for me and maybe 3 other people.

in short: its a dsmp high school au based on the game asagao academy, where everyone is part of a gaming club and compete against one another in tournaments. more in depth info about the AU/Asagao itself, as well as more info about the plot and roles of the AU itself.

Asagao Academy Basics

So to start, let’s cover the basics: what is Asagao Academy. ….well, an old Youtuber dating sim game (which, despite unfortunately including some fairly questionable CCs, IS still really good and well written and I recommend it) But what is it for AU purposes?

Asagao Academy is a highly elite world-wide boarding school set in Japan for those who are either rich enough to afford it, or those skilled enough to get scholarships. Within the game, there are two main clubs: Normal Boots and Hidden Block. They’re both gaming clubs, and joining is seen as super exclusive since they’re ALSO the most popular people in the school.

The two clubs compete with each other in various tournament events with specific categories. For example: Satch (from NB) and Jimmy (from HB) both compete in the “Tech and Invention” category, where they have to create/invent something related to gaming and have it judged at the event like a science fair. Meanwhile, Jared (from NB) and Wallid (from HB) both compete in “Dance” aka DDR and the person with the highest score wins.

The other categories featured in game include: Puzzle games (like Bejeweled or Tetris), Video Game Trivia, Pinball, Retro Platformers, a three-person fighting game, and 100% completion speedruns. So tldr; the categories can be kind of fiddled with and be whatever you want them to be, because even the original ones are pretty wack.

Also, there’s no rules against competing in multiple categories— in fact, most of the HB members in game do! It’s more about balancing time and practicing for them alongside school and other activities.

The winner of the competition is the team/competitor(s) with the most total wins.

Another thing to note: despite competing as clubs, they’re all actually pretty good friends. It’s all lighthearted and fun in the end, hell the leader of the opposing club even helps the main character join the main club just because he wants a decent challenge.

Speaking of… the main character! Hana Mizuno! I don’t have any current plans to include her in this AU (a la new dating routes), but I wanted to mention her for a few reasons.

For the main reason: her hair. Even as soon as she shows up, Mai (her best friend and roommate, who can break the 4th wall) immediately calls her out for her hair for looking like a main character which as we learn… isn’t an exaggeration. She’s literally a born protagonist, thus being born with naturally pink hair and a tragic backstory. Not only that, but other people are also born protagonists with pink hair as well— she isn’t an exception.

About the AU -- Revolution Era

A few things to note: in this au, when I first drafted it I… wasn’t looking to include 20+ people. I cut a lot of characters, but instead working with the idea that they’re still THERE, they just… don’t compete? Either they aren’t in the club and are just friends with the members, or they’re members who just don’t compete professionally. It’s nothing personal against those CCs and tbh as times goes they may get added more, but for now they’re just in the BG vibin.

It covers a really basic retelling of s1 for most of the planned au. It starts with One Club: the Dream Team. Members include: Dream (sophomore), Sapnap (sophomore), George (junior), Wilbur (junior), Eret (junior), and Fundy (freshman).

For reasons, possibly just as a goof or spite towards their American counterparts, Wilbur declares independence from the Dream Team and makes his OWN gaming club: L’Manberg. He takes Eret (a close friend from his grade) and Fundy (the freshman he immediately adopted) with him, causing the two teams to be 3v3.

But Wilbur’s got a dastardly surprise up his sleeve: TOMMY, HIS YOUNGER BROTHER (bc I am nothing if not a dedicated crimebros stan), AND TUBBO. They’re both too young to actually attend Asagao yet, but theres no age rules in the actual competitions so its fair play. They’re Wilbur’s secret weapon. After all, a 5v3 where the team with the most wins wins the competition? That’s a massive advantage.

… we all know how this goes though don’t we. Wilbur’s day be so fine, then BOOM, Eret betrayal 😔

In this case Eret feels it’s a LITTLE unfair to blindside them like that, plus Dream promised to make him the Leader of the Dream Team and, yknow, that kind of stuff DOES look good on resumes, so…

TLDR; Eret rejoins the Dream Team crew, as well as informing them of Wilbur’s plan with including Tommy and Tubbo and becomes leader. They’re still letting Dream and Co. basically actually do the leading, they don’t care that much, the title is just nice. L’Manberg cusses her out and promises to hold a grudge, but it’s all in good fun. After all, they’re just teens goofing around and playing. The clubs are again 4v4.

Dream tells the L’Manberg club that they can separate, sure… under one condition. They have to win the competition. If they lose, they have to rejoin the Dream Team club.

L’Manberg accepts, but come competition day… they lose. Tommy outright challenges Dream post awards to a speedrun competition for L’Manberg instead. …which Dream professionally competes in, and Tommy DOESN’T.

He loses, but he puts up a good fight despite having little to no actual practice put in, so Dream “grants” L’Manberg their “Independence”. (In this au, instead of being like… weirdly obsessive over Tommy, it’s a lot more “he sees himself in Tommy and wants to support/mentor him” and a “friendly rivalry” kind of deal bc its a damn HIGH SCHOOL AU)

So L’Manberg can be it’s own club! …Next year, when Tommy and Tubbo actually attend, since Wilbur and Fundy aren’t allowed a two person club.

About the AU -- Election Era

SO time skip! Congrats, everything up to now has been BACKSTORY. It’s now the next school year, with two main clubs (I’ve tried to keep them fairly balanced, which is why not all CCs are featured, sorry!)

Dream Team club:

Dream - junior

George - senior

Sapnap - junior

Eret - senior

Punz - junior

BBH - senior

Awesamdude - junior

Ponk - junior

L’Manberg club:

Wilbur - senior

Tommy - freshman

Tubbo - freshman

Fundy - sophomore

Schlatt - senior

Quackity - junior

Niki - sophomore

Jack - sophomore

(Also fun fact! Their grades are loosely based on the CCs actual ages! …Except Fundy, who got Baby-fied to fit the “Wilbur’s Kid” joke, and Eret bc it fit better to be the same age as Wilbur I thought. Oops HEKANDNSN)

So, for whatever Reason (listen this was an au I made in like one night when plagued with brainrot, it’s not all figured out), L’Manberg holds an election. Maybe it’s related to Wilbur wanting L’Manberg to be meaningfully different from Dream Team, maybe it’s a joke, idk!

…. SOMEHOW, Schlatt wins. Which ticks off Wilbur a lot. It’s his damn club, and the whole point was to avoid Americans, tf?? The two start to feud a lot and it threatens to split the club entirely via ppl taking sides. Worse, it means people aren’t practicing for the competition.

All while this is happening, there’s a new intrigue building. Dream catches word of an infamous player in the area, someone known to win entire competitions against teams of people all by HIMSELF. A man with bright bubblegum pink hair called Technoblade. That’s right, literal universe-assigned protagonist Techno. If Dream could enlist him, there’s no doubt in hell they’d be able to beat L’Manberg.

L’Manberg hears of him too and works to try and enlist him as well, so he basically gets courted by both clubs trying to get him to play for them to mixed results. He’s pretty chill vibin by himself, so what’s in it for him? (….I don’t know, remember how this is a WIP au I worked on once?)

Eventually, a teacher named Phil (who’s been the honorary sponsor of the L’Manberg club) gets pissed at Schlatt and Wilbur’s fighting and bans both from competing (aka this AUs version of them dying). Which fucking SUCKS for L’Manberg. They’re now going 6v8 with a wildcard player who’s undeclared on which side he’ll join, if at all.

… honestly, that’s as far as I got. Theoretically, Techno joins L’Manberg to reflect Pogtopia and they win. I never had plans to go into s2 due to its darker theme, but there are definitely changes that could (and might?) be made for the s1 plot just so it flows better.

I already had to shift Wil and Schkatt’s “deaths” to fit, unless I were to have them LITERALLY make a new club. Maybe Schlatt uses his power as Club President to make them work with Dream Team (to the point it basically merges the clubs). Sure, they might be guaranteed to win now but it removes the competition and fun as well as the spirit of OG L’Manberg. So then Wilbur rebels and makes his own club AGAIN, calling it Pogtopia with the intent to get L’Manberg back. Then Techno, intrigued with this group of like 2-3 ppl going against a team of like 13ish people, decides to join them. Idk! Alternative possible plot based more closely on s1 I guess!

I’m gonna add a list of characters in full with their age, their club, and what they compete in (if it’s already brainstormed, most ppl are unknown) below

Character List

dream (DT) - junior - speedrunning

george (DT) - senior - coding/tech and invention

sapnap (DT)- junior -

eret (DT) - senior -

wilbur (LM) - senior - rhythm game/guitar hero-esque

tommy (LM) - freshman - (possibly pick up speed running during election arc?)

tubbo (LM) - freshman - chess

fundy (LM) - sophomore - coding/tech and invention

schlatt (LM) - senior - he never actually declares what he plans to play and then gets banned anyway, aka no game kekw

quackity (LM)- junior - dance

niki (LM) - sophomore -

jack (LM) - sophomore-

punz (DT) - junior -

bbh (DT) - senior -

awesamdude (DT) - junior -

ponk (DT) - junior

technoblade (SOLO) - junior - multiple categories

FINAL BIT

here’s some scraps for ppl who know Asagao already as well as small bits I didn’t bother to write up any further

- Karl, much like Mai, is ALSO aware of the 4th wall and has time travel powers because of it.

- Purpled (undecided if he’s a solo player like Techno or has his own team he competes with that’s not a formal club) plays Literally Bedwars in competitions

- Callahan is the Dream Team club sponsor, Phil is L’Manberg’s club sponsor

- Karlnapity is real and canon bc I say so

- both for balance/laziness, every person only competes in one category. also bc it makes Techno that much more Protagonist-y that he does

- I made this AU in like February man idk I’m just vibin

- Fuck I never even included Ranboo huh

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

em

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)

[katierosefun]

so after one really big latte, a muffin, a run which resulted in a near accident with an oncoming car, and a shower in which i contemplated my own mortality, here’s my thoughts on the adorable me & au podcast, because babe wake up new hyperfixation dropped. very spoiler-y, i’m sorry in advance for how f*cking long this is, this might only have like two people reading this but i have many thoughts please listen to this podcast because it’s so cute and i listened to it all in about 2.5 hours? 

- firstly: the main character is super relatable. like, scary relatable. meet kate “acunningplan” cunningham, a gal about to enter her senior year of college and just kinda,,,lost. she works as a barista and very confused, very...stuck gal by day, fic writer (and still very stuck gal) by.........not barista hours. 

- honestly, i love kate. idk i’m about to enter my senior year of college, and bro i related so hard to her fears of “bro i can’t even think about next week without feeling overwhelmed”. she misses her best friend whitney a lot, who is currently on the other side of the country for an impressive internship. so that can be kinda lonely. 

- but fear not, kate has an escape, like so many other fic writers/fandom people: fanfic. this whole story references tumblr without actually naming tumblr (let’s be real....it’s tumblr, from the “notes” to “this stupid app keeps crashing”), and kate follows this tv show about werewolves and supernatural creatures. very gay. only problem is that there’s not a whole ton of people active in the fandom, since this show is relatively new. 

- however, in this small fandom, kate meets ella: otherwise known as “hella-enchanted”, who is another fic writer. 

- kate is very obsessed with the idea of alternate universes, and for that alone, i love her.

- okay, so even if you’ve never fallen in love with a person online/in fandom circles, i just wanna say that ella and kate’s interactions are still so super relatable. the shooting messages, the starting random conversations and getting a little thrill when you see someone liking your personal post or whatever. it’s very wholesome. 

- also, at the end of episode 1, kate goes on about how “yeah, fanfic is kinda odd, but it led me...to you” and it was so soft and gentle you just know your heart is gonna melt huh 

- at one point, kate decides to be vulnerable via vent post about something that came up on the show (and oh god yeah i feel...things. kate relates very hard to one character in the tv show she’s following, and tbh,,,yeah. i can’t quite word it right now, but i think anyone who feels kinda.....stuck? would relate.) 

- the “EXACTLY ONE PERSON ASKED FOR THIS ESSAY SO HERE IT IS” please

- also oh :’)))) kate talks about ella’s playlists and when i tell you i squeaked a little bit because oh hey--

- anyways lol yes can you relate to like,,,posting a vent post and forgetting to delete it and being mildly horrified (but also mildly touched) when someone actually responds?

- ella’s very sweet, just responds with “seems like one of my favorite fandom people needed a pick-me-up” and :’))) i would die for ella! (i mean, i would die for all the characters) 

- okay yes also all the bits where ella and kate scream at each other about fic. very relatable, very real, you can tell that the writers of this podcast really knew this feeling, and i just :’)))

- THE TWO DEBATE OVER TITLES,,,,,kate keeps sending in crack-y titles and also song lyrics, and ella comments on “well,,,i just read this whole wikipedia page, so i think i’ve lost the high ground”, so if y’all KNOW i started laughing at that 

- also LMAOOOO the moment when conversation diverts from fic and fandom to slightly more personal things! kate being like “oh,,,,,you have an actual job! like,,,you’re an actual adult and.....how’s that?” and then quickly rambling on via message “actually let me change the topic because that’s probably too personal”...

- okay so there’s this bit where ella drops the fact that she’s never read anne of green gables because “listen,,,,you have an ex-girlfriend who sang the anne of green gables musical all the time--” and kate’s “.......ex-girlfriend? you had an ex-girlfriend? girl--” (and BACKSPACING ALL OF THAT because “god i’m such a freak”) 

- much gay disaster

- so much gay disaster

- opportunity for kate and ella to meet irl comes up! at a fan convention! in toronto! (and kate lives in bc). kate’s best friend (remember, internship one?) invited kate over to toronto for this thing anyways, and then ella posts something about “heeeey i’m gonna be in the area so if anyone wants to meet up for the fan convention...” 

- let me just say......kate chucking her phone across the room because she freaked out about that. again. very cool, very nicely done, very relatable, etc. 

- ALSO,,,,i forget if this was one of kate or ella’s fics or if it was the actual tv show, but there’s this tidbit where the characters in the literal fandom has this conversation: 

“don’t waste your time.” 

“what?” 

“don’t waste your time on me.” 

and the way that reflects kate’s feelings-but-she’s-not-trying-to-think-about-it for ella please let me just die here

- okay, so kate does decide to message ella about the meet-up, and let me just tell you, kate’s inner monologue about the worst possibilities for ella’s responses: 

“1. no response. which is terrible. 

2. you find out you’re not wanted after all. :(((((

3. the most terrifying response of all.......” (an enthusiastic “yes i’m so glad we can meet up!!!”) 

- well, of course ella responds with #3. 

- gay disaster kate not knowing how to acknowledge her feelings for ella...she goes on this “you don’t wanna come across as....y’know because if they suspect that....y’know.....and like, i don’t....y’know--” oh my god kate 

- anyways, kate works at a coffeeshop, right? and her co-worker stewart (nonbinary pansexual co-worker! we love to see the rep!!) being like “oh yeah maybe you can bring over your friend!” and kate panicking because “ohhhhh i’m not too sure about that,,,,she’s,,,,,,,,,busy......” (ie. the awkward moment of having to explain that,,,,,,your online friend isn’t exactly someone you’ve met in real life,,,,,,,,and not sure exactly how to explain that so you just,,,,,,“ohhhh uhhh......y’know...............it’s really hard to.......get her out of.....work.....” 

- kate and ella video-chatting for the first time is very cute, very gay. very gay. 

- they swap “how’d you know you were gay / liked girls” stories :’))) 

- “that’s a cute story!” “you’re a cute story” [awkward silence] “please let me hide under the desk now” (have i mentioned that kate’s  a disaster? i love her, but you’re a disaster. we need to be best friends.)

- kate.....describing herself as “irl fanfic disaster waiting to happen” and the whole “i didn’t know we were actually dating until she asked if she could kiss me” lmaoooooooooo (but okay yes this is also a mood? like,,,,,,idk something about heteronormative standards so like,,,,,it’s so stupidly hard to figure out if a girl is flirting with you or if they’re just being nice i am glad kate’s such a disaster) 

- in other news: kate’s “how tf do i write a kiss scene i don’t like the word lips ughhhhHHHHH” (yeah, mood kate) 

- lmao stewart (kate’s co-worker!) just chilling with kate and being like “oh yeah i figured you had a girlfriend? the one you’re talking about? ella?” and kate blanking because “wait you thought ella was my girlfriend? she’s not....uhhh....” and then later drinking with stewart and rambling about ella and panicking because “what if she realizes i can’t talk about anything except this tv show what if she thinks i laugh too loud what if i have horrific body odor what if she realizes i have NOTHING to say what if our meeting goes SO terribly that i need to deactivate and change my name just so i could like her posts at 3 am” and then her small “please forget i said any of that” 

- oh kate :(((( 

- kate :((((((

- k a t e :(((((((((((((((((((

- anyways, kate does go to toronto. 

- meets ella. 

- very cute. 

- ella...........very gay. they go into a coffeeshop and kate doesn’t know what to do. 

- okay but what’s hilarious is that ella,,,,,seems so cool and suave and i too would be kind of intimidated by her but then these two idiots really talk about writing kissing scenes and the build-up and ella’s voice gets all,,,,,,suggestive and there’s this.....awkward gay silence between the two oh my GOD they’re both IDIOTS 

- also okay yes kate and whitney, a irl friend, having a heart-to-heart. good. we love that. also, whitney being like “I MISSED YOU!!! YOU IDIOT!!!! and i’m glad you have a new friend, and you’re happy, but I MISSED YOU!!! I HATE THIS CITY AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!!!” (whitney is also very relatable. ily whitney.) 

- they’re so cute. they hug, and it’s sweet :’)) also, then kate says in a stupidly small voice “i think i’m....kinda in love with [ella]?” and whitney being best supportive friend-- 

- OKAY so we finally get an episode of ella’s perspective 

- listen, you’re gonna think ella’s this cool, suave person who has all her own gayness put together (i mean, she kinda knew since she was 9 or 10 years old? she’s had a girlfriend? she seems like she has her life together? she’s waiting to get into grad school? she has a job? she just seems....cool and knows what she’s doing). 

- but then you realize. ella is just as much a pining mess. (her bullet point list/schedule in her head is so relatable. as someone who uses her notes and reminders app religiously, that was just :’))) 

- ella: reasons why this is not a date. and then....kate sends a message. (ella: reason why this....might be a date....kate keeps saying stuff like...that.) 

- kate rehearsing how to tell ella that she maybe kinda likes her? very cute. (”you know the feeling in your chest when....uh, you know when you feel like you have a frog in your stomach--oh god not the frog NOT the frog”) 

- the love confession is very cute, and also very relatable. “i like you a lot” “i like you too!” “no i mean,,,,like i like you. wait. which like do you mean? wait that’s not english. uh. what did you say?” 

- kate’s “I HAD A WHOLE DRAMATIC FANFIC CONFESSION PLANNED OUT” 

- kate and ella just spilling everything made me :’))) 

- “i like how your brain works” “i made so many posts hoping that you would just talk to me” “you always make me laugh” “you just make me feel...better” “you make me smile” 

- “this whole summer you’ve been making me smile and i guess it kind of freaked me out? ...i don’t know where my life is going but if i have a choice, i want to go in any direction you’re going because you are cute and smart and amazing and i like you a lot, ella. like that. so yeah. that’s what i was thinking i’d say.” 

- i essentially explaine dthe whole plot but 

- i love this podcast a lot

- it was very sweet

- and very cute

- very wlw 

- i don’t even mind that i almost got hit by a car while i was running and listening to this it was worth it 

- idk. just like. anyone who’s ever read or written fic or just like...not necessarily fallen in love with another person? but at least relating to that feeling of “oh god i am not qualified to talk to this person” and “oh god what if they realize i’m actually,,,,a loser” and “oh god wait how to friend” can probably hit a lot of people

- but that said. the romance was very cute, very sweet, makes me :’))) 

- okay i’ll stop talking now but i just. it’s very cute, very relatable, i wish we had a season 2 but i think it’s a limited series. (but they’re living rent free in my head! forever!)