#tbh the crew played into this shit towards the end too and it felt super cringe

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

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[scatterpatter]

Some expanded thoughts on FF7R under the cut [SPOILERS]

So! Overall I freaking LOVED the remake and I can’t wait to see the rest! Midgar feels so alive and expanded, you really feel attached to everyone, it’s... muah! Honestly a lot of the points I’m gonna make are more nitpicks than anything. I won’t make any commentary on the gameplay because I watched a let’s play instead of playing by myself(im broke and cant afford a PS4 and $60 game >_>)

So the designs are GORGEOUS... no, the entire GAME is gorgeous. Midgar looks so good and detailed, there’s so much great implementation of color theory! Cloud is sooooo good looking!!! Barret and Aerith and Sephiroth are all GORGEOUS! Reno Rude Tseng and Rufus.. AAAA!!! The only slight complain I have is that- okay so Tifa looks AWESOME, but I honestly wish she wasn’t so skinny. Like she’s a melee fighter, but her waist and arms are so thin! I wish they gave her a bit more tone and muscle, but, oh well. I honestly can’t stop staring at the character models they look SO good

Plot-wise, I really like most of the changes/additions they made! Especially with Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie. They’re wonderful and I love them and did I mention that I love them because they’re just so dorky!!! And good!!!

Honestly, I like that Aerith is actually written to be likeable. I know that doesn’t seem like much but a lot of games fall into the trap of telling you that you’re supposed to like the female protag(looking at you, Breath of the Wild) or tell you that she’s a strong character, but they fail to show that, so the player feels like they’re just being told to get attached. Aerith, though, is actually really likeable in this game!!! She’s cute and down-to-earth, really dorky and even snarky, easily seeing past Cloud’s tough-guy act, and she can fight! It’s just so nice to see a game that shows a strong female protag instead of just telling you.

Legit everyone is horny for Cloud and I’m so here for it

Okay so like. I love Roche. I didn’t at first but he quickly grew on me. He’s so awfully chaotic and I just- I love him. I’m mad that he was just kinda forgotten, though. Like! He could’ve shown up at the ending chase!!!

THEY REALLY WROTE HOJO TO BE AS CREEPY AS POSSIBLE HUH. Like I’m not complaining because like he’s basically the reason why everything happened, but! Ahhhh he makes me squirm he’s a creep with a gross science fetish and I wanna stab himmmmm

Okay so. President Shinra is a little bit TOO stereotypically evil? Like having a gold statue of himself and not even caring about sabotaging one of his own reactors when one little console gets destroyed??? Like it’s almost comical how evil he’s written to be. Though, I do like the scene where he calls Barret out on his ideals, that was neat!

Nowww, Heidegger Scarlet Palmer and Reeve? MUAH. Heidegger and Scarlet are written so sadistically but like in such a likeable way, especially Heidegger. God I hate them both but you just love to hate them!!! Palmer is HILARIOUS- I love how he’s written to be the spoiled kid whose parents forced the other kids to include him so he’s just there even though he doesn’t do anything. And Reeve? Well...

SO REEVE IS MY FAVORITE ATM SINCE WE DON’T HAVE VINCENT YET, AND REEVE IS JUST... <3 <3 <3 Okay so first off, his design is perfect. He doesn’t really stand out in the same way that Heidegger Scarlet and Palmer do. He just has a normal build, normal suit, normal hair slicked back- he just looks like a normal employee, totally inconspicuous... which is very fitting considering how he ends up being undercover and needs to look inconspicuous ;)

Though Reeve shows clear signs of overworking himself and being emotionally abused by his coworkers which... sucks. I mean it’s good writing but I feel so awful for him- Like you know it’s bad when someone just has to hold up a hand to get you to shut up and sit down. I like that he tries to do good things but steps down when he’s told to, that he’s empathetic but cowardly. It does a great job at setting up his character arc in future chapters <3

Okay so one thing- I thought the build-up for the plate dropping was amazing, but honestly... the plate itself falling was slightly underwhelming, to be completely honest. Like- I just didn’t feel the impact that a plate falling would have! Mainly because, you don’t see a single death which is interesting. Like you see people running from falling debris, but legit not a single death is implied. Honestly? I thought the scene would have been far more impactful if they showed:

Seventh Heaven actually being destroyed

The people topside reacting to the ground beneath them collapsing and them falling to their deaths(They only tried to evacuate Sector 7 slums! Not the topside!!!)

More people actually being implied to have been crushed(No, Im not counting Wedge). Like in the original FF7 there’s a scene where someone’s watching tv and you see the plate falling from outside the window- and there’s a reporter just doing his normal shit before he suddenly looks up and things go to static- like- thats an intense scene and I wish the remake did more stuff like that!

They do great showing people REACTING to the plate falling which is why its so appalling to me that they dont show much of the actual devastation DURING plate fall

I LOVE that Cait Sith shows up at the plate falling! It shows that Reeve actually tried to warn people(something he asked to do and was denied earlier), even if he was too late. The only problem I have is that new players who dont know who Cait Sith is will be horribly confused as to who and why he’s there???

Also, when the crew goes back to Sector 7, you don’t really... feel the impact right away. Keep in mind, an entire section of city just fell onto another section of city WITH the supports holding it up, there should have been way more rubble. Yet, the area where Seventh Heaven is just... looks like it was hit with a major earthquake. There should be way more rubble, like mountains of it. It’s weird since the opening cinematic really captures the scope of how huge Midgar is, but the plate falling just doesn’t really show the scope of how much devastation there was to losing an entire plate.

The scope of it is done a bit better when climbing up Sector 7, but I still feel like the weight and scope of destruction isn’t lived up to its full potential.

Okay so- Wedge and Biggs. ... Yeah, it takes away from the impact of their deaths to have them not die. I mean, I can’t make a total opinion on this just yet, because the other parts haven’t come out yet, but... if FF7R is gonna keep them alive, they better have a good reason for it tbh.

They might have done a little bit too much foreshadowing with Cloud and Aerith? Like I like Cloud having memory issues, it’s kept pretty vague... but him going “Mother?” with Jenova is a little bit too spoiler-y. Like yeah you gotta tease his whole thing but like- don’t give it away this soon!!!

I also don’t mind Seph showing up as much as he does. Like, in the original, you don’t even hear about him until close to the end of the Midgar arc. Obvi since the remake ONLY covers the Midgar arc so far, I totally understand bringing him in sooner. Again, having the clones existing might be a little too spoilery for the big twists later on, but I can let it slide since it’s still treated as very “wtf” and I’m sure anyone new to the story hasn’t put it together yet.

Did I mention how much I love Seph he’s so creepy and his eyes are gorgeous and he’s so intimidating by just being there

And the Whispers... I honestly didn’t like them. I kept forgetting that they existed honestly. They just feel so... detached from the plot. I don’t mind adding new content/story, but the Whispers just... didn’t feel well-implemented. They also felt really campy towards the end. Like, the fact that they could un-stab Barret and shield Avalanche from car accidents while they were escaping? They were legit like “no you can’t die even if you tried because fate” and takes away any tension of the scene because... well, they know they cant die.

That being said, the ending was interesting. I uh. It was interesting! So they actually defeat fate itself in order to change... who knows what. The future, maybe even the past??? I’ve got many thoughts on this

If the future is changed, that can be exciting since people who know the original’s plot won’t know what’s gonna happen next so like- okay!

If the past was changed... y’all know I’m talking about Zack. Was fate changed so that he could live? Keep in mind, we see Whispers surrounding Midgar before they dissipate and Zack’s like “ohey did I get all of em?”, implying that fate would have forbade Zack from ever getting to Midgar. Having the team defeat fate means... Zack may have now reached Midgar. 

Is alternate reality/timeline stuff going to happen now???

Cloud’s character revolves around Zack dying. What’ll happen to Cloud now???

I feel so bad for people new to the plot who don’t know who Zack is.

Nomura... you madman.

So with the ending... Nomura and Squenix is setting something up. They’re going for something huge. I uh. I fear, honestly! Because this could very likely get WAY too ambitious and WAY too confusing(Think Dream Drop Distance’s bullshit plot), and could totally fall on its face and end up being Squenix’s biggest flop of all time. But... if this succeeds and they actually pull off whatever they’re trying to pull... holy shit. I would be floored.

I honestly am a bit afraid that the plot will be too confusing for new players. Like- no one would know whats going on with Zack unless they knew the original plot, so like while this would be a great game for FF7 fans, I’m really worried that it won’t be a good game for people new to the series.

Cloud in a dress is the greatest thing and I’m so happy they kept that scene I love him so much the entire scene is so queer <3

But overall, despite some nitpicks, it was a SUPER SOLID game and I’m soooo hype to see where they go with it! I wanna see Cait and Yuffie and Cid and Vincent!!!!!!!!!

[guardiandae]

I’ve been binging horror movies lately, because it’s August September and that means we’re already in phase two of Halloween!!! So I wanted to share some of what I’ve watched, and my thoughts on the films! 

Below: (Event Horizon, Thirteen Ghosts, Pandorum, The Mangler, The Graveyard Shift, I Am Mother)

Event Horizon (1997) - A crew ventures into space to retrieve an abandoned ship, but quickly realize they need to try to save themselves. Wow. I thought the acting in this was amazing, especially since I eyeballed the 27% rotten score before watching and assumed it was going to be pure trash. First half is rock fucking solid. Sadly, they could’ve done better later on, but I saw an in-depth youtube video on it beforehand which explained that a ton of the gore and hell scenes had to be trimmed out, and a director’s cut never emerged. That’s exactly what would’ve made this movie better... and also, frankly, if they cut out the monster-of-the-week gimmick towards the end and instead just let hell itself slowly be unleashed... now I wish they’d do this movie justice with a proper remake. Anna oop-.  Stars Laurence Fishburne and he is wonderful. Warnings: some disturbing gore/mutilation, but I (a very squeamish person) was able to handle it and wish there was more tbh, not actually much for jumpscares

Thirteen Ghosts (2001) - A ghost-hunting collector dies and leaves his house to his remaining relatives, but they realize quickly................ IT’S A TRAP. Pretty cheesy, but I love the way the entire house is like a giant, elaborate puzzlebox, I’m actually curious how they did that kind of effect. Plus the ghosts are neat and don’t get enough screentime and I’m gay @ the Angry Princess. If you watch, take a moment to google the ghosts and read their backstories (or look in the DVD extras, I think) because the movie doesn’t expand on them. Stars Tony Shalhoub and I stan him. Warnings: a lot of blood and body mutilation, titties on display, probably jumpscares but it’s all old hat to me and cheesy imo, I just wanted to revisit it

Pandorum (2009) - A crew is in space but the sleep pods malfunction and when they wake up, some terrible shit has gone down and there are cannibal monsters now. This one fully fucking deserves the 28% rotten score. I saw a review that it was underrated and the plot sounded interesting, but once I started watching I couldn’t handle the awful fucking audio balance. The characters whisper a lot, meanwhile the monsters SCREECH non fucking stop. I got so fed up, tbh, I just watched it on fast forward and jumped ahead. I’m not convinced the plot was done as brilliantly as the reviewer I listened to wanted to believe. It was pretty stupid, but that’s just my opinion or whatever. Warnings: umm idk. probably blood and the usual death. Audio that is jarring - not frightening but really fucking jarring and obnoxious. Don’t waste your time. Watch Event Horizon instead tbh.

The Mangler (1995) - I didn’t know industrial laundry press machines were a Thing but apparently they were, also I’ll never feel like my boss is an asshole ever again after watching this. When I was little my family rented a couple movies regularly, and I only ever wanted to watch horror movies, especially every single Stephen King thing I could get my hands on. I’m not such a staunch fan anymore, but I randomly remembered this one and wanted to see it again. I didn’t remember 99% of the plot. It stars Ted Levine (Captain Leeland Stottlemeyer from Monk??? I was SHOOK) and also Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger, guys). Warnings: blood and detailed gore. People get pulped up in this big machine, and they show the aftermath. The last death is pretty fun and creative, though. Don’t take the movie too seriously.

The Graveyard Shift (1990) - A shitty boss hires people to clean up his shitty factory and then they all almost get eaten by rats. This movie is ditto to The Mangler. The two mentally go hand in hand for me. Both involves imagery of machines + blood, but this one has more focus on the rats in the mill. It’d probably be a dry watch for anyone else, but it personally OFFENDS ME, A MAINER, because the actor who plays Warwick (shitty boss and rapist in the film) attempted to do a Mainer accent but ended up sounding like a cross between German and a few heavily stereotyped New England words like “CAH”. I mainly watched for the imagery that still stuck in my mind since my childhood -- the blood in the cotton machine and the rats feeding on it, them falling into a massive pool of blood, the guy getting his arm bitten off, and the monster’s death at the end. Honestly felt like the best part of the movie was the proto-remix song at the end which is just a funky beat overlaid with snippets of dialogue from the movie. And that’s not saying much 😂 Warnings: blood and gore, and uhhh a main villain who is a total asshole and also mentioned to be a rapist :/  Don’t bother, just listen to the end credits.

I Am Mother (2019, Netflix!) - SUPER GOOD GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. This one is a sci-fi film, but I’d also consider it a thriller/psychological kind of horror film? The plot is about a robot (Mother) that was programmed to raise human children after the extinction of mankind. It’s one of those movies where, for a while, you’re really left wondering what is real and that’s why I’d rec it as a horror, plus I feel like the philosophical angle is unsettling in its own way. The actors, including the voice actor for Mother, are A+++ Warnings: post-apocalyptic setting, death, I cried at the end???

I know there are better movies but I kind of wanted to binge old shitty ones tbh. I didn’t expect Event Horizon to be so good! Well, half good, but that half was a diamond in the rough imo. Maybe it’s just the fanfic writer in me that lives for the potential of how it could’ve been. and I Am Mother isn’t in that “shitty old horror” category, it’s new and just super fucking good and doesn’t pull punches and it takes the plot thread all the way through to its conclusion, please go watch it.

If you guys have any recs I’d love to hear some! I prefer psychological horror when I really want to be scared, tbh. I loathe jumpscares, and as I mentioned above, genuine blood/gore is bad unfun time for me, so I will not be watching any torture-porn like Hostel. But I’m thinking of watching some of the classics I feel I never really got to enjoy, like Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, maybe Alien. I also wanna rewatch some stuff like Hellraiser, The Thing, and Annihilation. And at some point I’ll probably seek out really, truly, good & scary ones and maybe later I’ll torment myself with some  infamously gory films. We’ll see!

Have you seen any of the above? Lemme know what you think! 😋

[tamgerines]

KH3 First Impression and Complete Thoughts

BACKGROUND: i've played kh1, com, kh2, bbs, 2.8, and a bit of khux. i've watched coded and 3d on yt, so i know the story relatively well. this is an impression of my first playthrough. i did my run on standard mode and watched the secret ending on yt. i mostly did this for story, so this will have my initial impressions based on my run that will not cover extra content like the phone mini games and cooking.  my opinions are subjected to change if i ever do any later playthroughs. pls, feel free to disagree w/ me.

!!! WARNING: THERE WILL BE A LOT OF STORY SPOILERS!!!

AUDIO: 

Music: utada is queen!!! that opening song!!! also i kept noticing how lit the songs are in each world esp frozen???  and aqua's. worth a replay just for the soundtrack alone.

Voice Acting: everyone sounded great for the most part. sora’s va have certainly improved and sounds less strained. his vanitas voice has suffered significantly though lolololol. i think i read that someone called it a wannabe dark knight voice? the organization sounded incredible, w/ my fav being xemnas, marluxia, and larxene. the disney and pixar va’s are incredible w/ my fav probably being randall in monster’s inc. 

some ppl did not get vas like xaldin and laxeaus. and phil in hercules. which were all very disappointing bc in the scenes that they were in, they would just stand around woodenly, and it’s very noticeable. 

VISUALS: 

mostly a+. environments are beautiful. water and frost textures are amazing!!! you can really feel that waterga and blizzaga. fur textures in monster's inc. could use some work. little details like the sails moving in potc rly make the worlds come alive. this could be a me prob, but environments in certain worlds make it very hard to see map markers, treasure chests, and disney emblems (which are supposed to be hard to find, but still). mostly in tangled.

strangely enough, this is the only game where i prefer in game graphics to cgi. it's already highly expressive and there's something creepy and uncanny about the cgi esp in the final fight. and it's mostly bc sora's thin chapped lips throughout the entire game suddenly becomes full.

DESIGNS: 

i don't love everyone's outfit or sora's outfit changes in this game besides toy story. this is something i alrdy knew going in, but i've always felt like the outfits in kh1 and 2 rly suited each of the character's personalities. and this is not just destiny trio but even chars like roxas, the twilight town kids and the hollow bastion crew. the move towards a uniformed look makes no sense to me like is it to unify the key bearers as one force against the organization? i could understand why destiny trio was wearing plaid but why the twilight town kids also? by the end of the game, almost everyone was wearing black and it's just boring to me. like there's a right way to do uniform while retaining characters' individual looks, and that's the wayfinder trio in bbs. in this game, not so much.

an aside, but i'm sort of disappointed in the hud moving to 3d too. the 2d portraits have always been part of kh so it's kinda a bum to see it go away.

i don't love the lvl designs but it might also be due to a narrative and pacing issue that i'll expand on. any case, vertical maps are a challenge to figure out. i don't consider myself bad at directions but there are so many moments, esp in hercules and tangled where i would be like where the heck do i go next (and i have the map) only for me to look up and find a shotlock teleport point (and this isn't so much a thing that heightens the difficulty but a time waster).

lvls and bosses in previous kh games have always been known for their gimmicks and mechanics, but in this game particularly i found it to be more tedious? and this mostly applies to frozen: who the fuck designed frozen? who the fuck thought it's a good lvl design to have sora climb a mountain, get kick off it twice, and climb it again as good lvl design? who?

all the disney bosses started blending together for me bc they're literally all giant monsters and rly easy. i think the mistake here is the fact that the disney worlds are put back to back whereas in kh1/2/bbs you have the interruption of original worlds and an actually playable important parts to the main story, in this game all the important storyline in radiant garden are locked in cutscenes interspersed throughout the game between finishing disney worlds.

a lot of ppl might disagree w this, but i miss the cinematic reaction commands and limit attacks. we still have them but i find them to be on a much smaller scale in the form of drive finishers and situation commands, but i find them to be less imaginative in kh3 in order to be less """"disruptive""" to the gameplay. i've always found cinematics charming in previous games as a way to show sora interacting with his party members during combat. little things like beast putting a hand on sora's shoulder, aladdin leaning on him, or riku bumping his fist have a way of making the friendships he forms feel organic. outside of link commands/ summons, in this game, he........just throws a lot of ppl around or is thrown around?

GAMEPLAY:

already sort of went through parts of it in the previous section, but overall combat was smooth. i love how mobile sora is in this game. the improvement to his running speed and addition of all the mobile skills like dodge roll, super slide, flow motion, blizzard skating, etc. makes combat feel fast paced and juking so easy.

magic is super improved on ever since 2.8 and feels satisfying to use esp bc i feel like ur given a lot more mp now and with the ability to save the last of your mana for cure, it feels like you're not always budgeting your magic.

underwater combat was smoother than i expected.

it's a mistake putting almost all the commands on the triangle button. there's so much options you can do in combat and you'd mean to activate one thing, but then an attraction flow comes out and you just want to die. it gets a bit easier as i went on and got more used to the controls, but in general, i still think it's a mistake to not to have an ability or something to disable certain features like in kh2 fm.

gummy ships continue to be a thing. why. i don’t like how i have to turn the camera myself now ;;;. 

i'm not a speedrunner or anything, so i can't say too much else about fighting. the physical combos to me did feel like he was spinning a bit too much tho.

STORY: oh, fucking boy.

i'm not mad, i'm not disappointed, and i'm not even surprised. i already knew that post bbs, kh has already departed far from the franchise i loved as a kid and still today, at least story wise. but let's walk through it.

Disney Worlds: the disney worlds was literally a retelling of their movies. and unlike in kh2 and bbs, where visits to disney worlds were split into two parts, with the first part following the disney story and the second part being heavily tied to the main kh story and thus having original content, the disney worlds in kh3 only get one long visit. and the integration of kh into disney was just done so poorly. remember how kh villains used to kidnap princesses? remember how they used to actually conspire to take disney characters' hearts and turn them dark? remember, you know, when they were still evil and actually interfered with the worlds? in almost every world in kh3, an org member just comes says vague menacing things to sora, calls him stupid, and then leaves. yeah. and oh, maleficent and pete looks for a black box only to not find it, and leaves. AND THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE FOR THE REST OF THE GAME.

the pixar worlds + bh6 were the only ones with any actual new content and they feel so fresh. i esp loveeeeeeeed toy story omg. the script was so good, funny, and heartwarming. the pixar consultants should have helped kh all the way tbh.

like previous games, there's an attempt for each disney world to thematically tie into the main kh story. in this game, it was as heavy handed as ever, probably even more so. 

Original Worlds: onto the meat of kh, the main story was rushed up until the end. you have a slew of disney worlds, then bam, they slam you with all the human bosses and the important story stuff. 

the ‘awakening’ of roxas, xion, and ventus were very rushed. you literally have one moment they’re no there then two seconds of white screen and all of a sudden they’re there. 

there’s a shit ton of shoehorned character redemption arcs: vexen, demyx, saix, eraqus, xehanort, xemnas, ansem. all were done either offscreen or by some miracle, they reached an epiphany after sora beat his keyblade into their heads. 

the only death scene that i actually liked, that a lot of ppl complained about, was vanitas bc yes, although i thought his character had so much potential, it was at least a consistent and sympathetic death. bless him, born a villain die a villain. same with xemnas bc i loved his last speech. 

xehanort was a shitty villain through and through. no one understood his motivation; it’s like nomura took a page from thanos’ guide of how to write villains, gave him some stupid ass goal to have a keyblade war to restart the world, and then just have him...get everything he wanted? his estranged friend comes back in ghost form for whatever reason and is just like ok we’re cool man even tho u took my student and indirectly murdered me and then gets taken up to heart heaven, like O K. and like what’s the most frustrating is that it’s implied they’re keeping him as a villain??? bc fucking ymx is like ooohh imma just go back to my own time via time travel. it’s too late for u sora hurdur. 

and the younger members of the organization, the ones that we do know were in khux. we don’t get to know how they became nobodies and they don’t get a redemption??? really???  

you can tell they tried, TRIED, hard to give everyone closure. and they miserably failed to close plot points. they actually opened more. who the fuck is the unnamed girl in lea and isa’s storyline? why the fuck did you mention her if you were going to play the pronoun game and not name her??? what the fuck was in the black box??? why are they looking for it when no one know what’s in it??? why the fuck was repliku inside of riku the whole fucking time??? why have org members be norted if they can still have agency and choose to betray xehanort??? why the fuck was BOTH sora and riku in different worlds in the secret ending????? ? ? ? 

and tho i’m very glad that wayfinder and sea salt trios get their happy ending, the destiny trio had their characters assassinated. kairi was teased to become an independent character of her own and fight alongside sora, only to get shafted to become a damsel in distress, again, literally replaced by xion in one of the last battles, AND referred to as ‘motivation’ for sora by xehanort lol. sora, the guy who’s always going my friends are my power, ONLY grieves about losing kairi, accrediting all of his strength ONLY TO HER. riku, who spent the first game desperately trying to get kairi’s heart back, and who protected her from saix in the second, suddenly doesn’t give a shit about her and is just there as sora’s moral support. it’s so frustrating that nomura has the audacity to say that this series is primarily about friendship and then pull this shit lol. it’s transparent. 

CONCLUSION: 

i think for me, the quintessential kh trilogy has always been kh1, com, and kh2. as far as i’m concerned, the story should have ended there for destiny trio. and it’s like nomura said, how he feels more sympathetic towards villains now, i think nomura’s ideas have outgrown his main character. 

sora’s journey worked in 1, com, and 2 because he had an overarching goal to find kairi and riku and return home. not everyone has to understand heartless vs. nobodies or dark vs. light but at least, anyone can understand the desperation of saving your friends. when that framework is taken away, sora’s goals and motivations become unclear; he’s a kid and has little reason to be caught up in xehanort’s plans, the keyblade war, or the organization’s agendas. and his failure to grow with the increasing complexity of the plot, to investigate for himself the bigger picture or even come into a similar realization of his own darkness/ balance like riku, makes him unfit; he’s a reactionary character instead of an active one. that’s why this game, being experienced from his point of view, felt mostly like a catch up to speed for sora and a set up to nomura’s next big thing instead of a genuine ending.  i honestly don’t think nomura knows what to do with him and with kingdom hearts anymore. 

kh3 is a game wrapped in nostalgia and promised something bigger than it could fulfill. and aside from better graphics and improved gameplay, the story wasn’t worth the wait. 

[samwrights]

The Game // [1]

Summary: Tom Holland, Harrison Osterfield, and Jacob Batalon started a game back when they first began filming Spider-Man: Homecoming—to sleep with as many different extras as possible before the movie premiered. Their current targets are the ladies of the band Navy Skies, a ragtag group of young adults that were blessed with the opportunity to play in the homecoming dance scene. Fed up with the boys’ sick game, Laura and Zendaya are taking bets on who gets their heart broken first.

Pairing: fuckboy!Tom x OC, fuckboy!Harrison x OC, fuckboy!Jacob x OC, hints of TomDaya

Words: 2643

Inspo: Kick It // Neck Deep

Disclaimer: Lyric graphics were created by me, y’all. I’m not saying don’t steal it cause they’re not that impressive tbh but like don’t steal them.

Life was a pretty simple concept. Some people really wanted to complicate things and find deeper meanings within it, but at the end of the day, all there really was to it was to ensure you were living your best life. Dream big, work hard, and don’t allow anybody to take that from you. At least, this was the mentality that Cameron Lucia had adopted at a young age. She never let things like friends and family keep her planted in one spot. If they were truly family, they would never hold Cam back from chasing her dreams.

Or best case scenario, they came with her wherever she went; entirely inspired from her nomadic, carefree spirit. That was the situation she was currently in, anyway. At the ripe age of twenty four, Cameron and three of her closest friends she had met at her day job ended up packing up with her and moving out of state. It wasn’t that far fetched, or so she believed. The four of them had formed a band on top of their friendship and collectively decided they were going to move closer towards the music scene in Nashville, Tennessee in hopes of getting their big break. But after long debates about cost of living and not wanting to lose their city charm, the four of them settled on living in a northern suburb just outside of Atlanta.

The four of them had been living in their spacious, two bedroom apartment for the last six months and were still loving every second of it. Cameron always thought it was funny that people assumed they would be tearing out each others hair being in a band, living, and working together. With all of their different personality harmonizing, she knew they would prove everybody wrong.

The youngest of the group was Malachi, or Mac as he preferred, was freshly twenty one. Though lazy, he was the star socialite of the bunch. His charisma made their lives easier when it came to booking shows and just being the go-to person to have a one on one talk with. Ruby was the second youngest, but also held a very mature composure due to growing up way too soon—taking on the role of ‘Momma Bear’. Her incredible work ethic helped put all of Cameron’s dreams into motion. Danielle, or Dani, was a mere week younger than Cam and always focused on getting shit done, but they never held her back from being the life of the party. Cam was clearly the dreamer—always comping up or collaborating with her group of friends on proposing new insane schemes.

Together they supported each other in any which way they could, whether it be financially or trying to rationalize whatever impossible dream came to Cameron’s mind. They always started off crazy, like when she started booking their band at every single bar that she could possibly find in downtown Atlanta. They always ended up working out in mysterious ways, like when booking agents and producers wanted to feature Navy Skies in an upcoming unknown film right here in Atlanta. They couldn’t pass the opportunity up.

That chance brought them to where they were today, sitting in make up getting their hair done for their brief cameo on this unknown film project. Cam, Ruby, and Dani did their own make up at their own request. Since Mac had a buzz cut and the girls were only getting their hair done, he took the liberty to get his make up done, enjoying getting pampered with the miniscule amount of make up they gave him. “It feels like a facial that I so desperately need.” He laughed, causing his friends to laugh with him.

The band was called to set, and they followed a stagehand down the hallway of the school they were filming in, and entered the gymnasium. Heads turned upon the group entering—everybody was dressed in semi-formal attire while a banner that read ‘Homecoming’ hung behind the stage. That explained why the outfit selection they were all given were all dresses and dress pants.

“So for you guys, we don’t need anything super directive.” The stagehand said. “Think of this as a recording session, we’ll ring an alarm when we need you to kill the sound completely.” He explained that the amplifiers were going to be kept to a minimum; just loud enough to be ambient noise but not enough to overpower any dialogue. They were only required to do a half hour set, and none of the band mates didn’t have to talk throughout the set as they normally would have for a show.

“Okay, cool. Let’s get set up.” Said Ruby as they got on stage and unloaded their instruments. Cam set up all the microphones while Dani assembled her drum kit, and Mac and Ruby tuned their bass and guitars respectively. The gymnasium was packed with unknown people pretending to be students. If anyone would have known any of them, it would have been Malachi. But the only one he had recognized in the crowd was Zendaya, which was enough to leave Mac the slightest bit starstruck.

The experience was actually pretty cool and almost felt like a real show to the band. The fake students bopped along and some even danced with each other. When cameras weren’t zoomed in on actors, whom Navy Skies assumed to be major characters of the film, said actors were dancing amongst themselves and just being goofy. Zendaya was swinging along with the people she had grown close to over the duration of them film—Harrison, Jacob, and Laura. “Hey, these guys are pretty good.” Z said as she danced with Harrison. The students in the crowd were yelling along and cheering on the band, nearly forgetting they were extras in a film. Jacob and Harrison were no exceptions to Navy Skies’ hypnotism as they paused their movements for a brief moment. Jacob nudged Harrison, a knowing look in his eyes with a devilish smirk on his lips.

“Who you calling dibs on, mate?” Haz asked, reciprocating his friends now wicked features.

“I like the little blonde one on drums.”

“Perfect, I’m digging the guitarist.” He said, staring at the girl with a curly pixie cut. Harrison’s eyes were immediately drawn to the tattoos that covered both arms from shoulder to wrist. Zendaya and Laura rolled both of their eyes.

“Are you guys playing your stupid game again?” Laura asked. The boys just grinned in affirmation. See, since the beginning of the filming Spider-Man: Homecoming, Jacob, Harrison, and Tom started an unnamed game to see which of them could sleep with the most extras from the set. Right now, Harrison was the front runner, despite being an extra himself.

“I’m going to laugh so hard when this stupid game blows up in your face.” Zendaya sneered, a sly grin on her face at the mere thought.

“How do you figure?” Jacob asked. “They’re extras, they’re here for like a day and then it’s like it never even happened.”

“One of you guys are going to fall for your flings, and then she’s going to find out she was just a part of some stupid game and hopefully she puts your asses in place.” Laura added, taking a firm stance with Zendaya that what they were doing was wrong on so many levels. “You guys need a reality check.”

“Nah, that won’t happen.” Both Harrison and Jacob said in unison, their eyes focused on their targets. No, it wouldn’t happen.

Navy skies finished their half hour set with the alarm buzzing within in the gymnasium, signaling that sounded needed to cease. After setting down their instruments, the band mates took a seat off the edge of their stage, taking a drink from the water bottles provided from the film crew. Each of them were panting slightly, covered in a thin film of sweat from having to continuously perform. “I think we sounded pretty great.” Cam said as she tried to catch her breath. The band talked amongst themselves, only pausing when they noticed the same stagehand from before walking up to them. Behind him stood Zendaya and the people she was dancing with earlier in the scene, plus one more that none of them recognized.

“Hey guys, everything sounded amazing! But the cast was wondering if you could play an encore show? We’ll make it worth your while.”

“Keep talkin’.” Dani said, immediately switching to hardball mode despite being the smallest member of the band.

“We were thinking of tossing you guys an extra grand?”

“What?! Hell yes!” Mac screeched before the band could discuss it. Which, in any other circumstance would have angered the girls, it weren’t for the fact that they just earned five grand off of a show that didn’t require them to put a down payment for the venue. There was no argument to even be had.

“I guess that’s a yes.” Cam laughed. “But can we get a couple minutes to cool off?”

“Oh yes, of course. Take a breather, you guys can go change back into your street clothes if you want. I’ll let you guys know when you go on and you can treat it like a real show this time—no cameras.” The stagehand walked away, leaving the band to head off in the direction of the dressing room they had used earlier to change back into more comfortable clothes.

While the cast waited by the stage, Harrison and Jacob got Tom up to speed, letting him know who claimed who so far. “I guess that leaves me with the singer, is it?” He asked, staring at the girl with incredibly long brunette hair as the band returned to the gymnasium. Even in a simple baseball tee and ripped jean shorts, the front woman’s tattoos were the most noticeable features about her. They covered every visible inch of her arms and hands, even up her neck. He wondered what other parts of her body were tattooed. Tom, unfortunately, had been filming a different scene and didn’t get to see the band play. But judging from Harrison and Jacob’s infatuation with them, they must have left some kind of impression. With a couple of strings being pulled, Tom was able to get them to put on an encore show.

The band returned to the stage, trading in their dresses for ripped jeans and solid tees and looking much more relaxed. The cast walked up towards the stage, Zendaya being the first to break the ice and introduced herself to the band. “Hey, guys. We just wanted to say how much we all loved hearing you guys play and hope you don’t mind that we asked the film crew to have you guys play an encore.” She said, gesturing to herself and Laura and the boys. “I’m Zendaya, and this is Laura.”

“Oh, party. Mac, I’m the bassist.” The only male member shook both of the ladies’ hands firmly.

“Ruby, guitar.” She gave a slight wave to everyone. Harrison’s mouth twitched with the slightest smile as his target introduced herself.

“Dani, drums.” The petite blonde gave an awkward wave.

“And I’m Cameron.” One by one, the boys learned their prey’s names. It was officially game on now.

“I’m Tom, lovely to meet you, darling. I play Spider-Man.” He held his hand out to Cam, awaiting for her to shake it. Instead, the band all looked at each other before letting out a collective laugh. Tom looked at them confusedly, retracting his still empty hand. “What’s so funny?”

“We’ve been trying to figure out what movie we were going to be in for the last month.” Ruby said, still chuckling. The collective group shared a laugh briefly. As they waited around for the encore show to start, the group chatted amongst themselves, the boys buttering up their marks while Mac, Z, and Laura hung out.

“So, Spider-Man, is it?” Cam asked, her natural teasing tone coming through as she spoke to Tom.  “How did you land that role?” He laughed, answering with charm that he usually reserved for interviews. Cam was nodding along, showing she was listening.

“How long have you lot been in a band?” Tom fired back, his British accent resurfacing as he pulled himself out of character for the day. He knew he needed to keep his questions as innocent as possible to earn the trust of his prey before he could corner her and go in for the kill. Though she had answered, he hadn’t quite heard it due to focusing on his own thoughts more than their conversation.

The stagehand came back, clipboard in hand along with four sealed envelopes that he distributed to each of them. “You all ready to go?” He asked, looking at Navy Skies. They all nodded before hopping back up from their seats on the stage, getting ready for round two. By now, all of the actors, main crew and extras, gathered around.

“Ready guys?” Cam asked into the microphone while looking at her band mates.

“Let’s kick it!” Malachi enthused, signaling their start to a newer alternative set list that they had been working on in recent months. Cheers amongst the crowd erupted as heavy, fast paced chords blared along the amplifiers—this time at full volume. The cast took immediate notice to their stage presence, seeing how Mac and Ruby were in six with little head bangs as Cameron walked the length of the stage. She crouching real low to be face to face with the front row that was made up of Laura, Harrison, Jacob, Zendaya, and Tom before walking up beside Ruby. As she wrapped an arm around her guitarist, harmonizing their siren song as they sang out their next verse.

Cameron took back center stage, opening her arms wide while her bassist and guitarist joined in for the last line. The final words lingered before rapidly moving onto their next song. It was no help that Zendaya and Laura were looking at the boys, each of them unknowingly jumping along to foreshadowing words.

“Do you think they’ve realized?” Laura asked, yelling into her friends ear to be heard over the music. Zendaya shook her head.

“Definitely not. These girls don’t even know them and they’re calling their shit out.”

“Wanna make a little wager?” Zendaya raised her eyebrows, giving Laura an intrigued smile. “I’m betting all of them are going to fall for their targets. Whoever loses has to be the one to tell the girls they’re just another name to add to their list.”

“I’m betting Harrison falls for his.” She replied with a deep set smirk on her lips. Honestly, it didn’t really matter who won this bet—Z was just excited to see someone break it to them that they couldn’t just run around doing this to poor, unsuspecting girls. They had learned to tune out Laura and herself after the game had been established.

“Harrison? He’s the one winning their stupid thing!” Laura said in disbelief.

“Well, let’s get real, Jacob’s girl seems like she would only go for a one night stand.” At Zendaya’s statement, their eyes turned to the drummer. “And I could see Harrison falling for a girl like her. He’s the only one who’s got a real chance of being heartbroken.” She said, discreetly pointing to Ruby.

“What about Tom?” Laura asked.

“Please, Tom may be a participant in this silly game, but he’s in dead last and he would never fall for a girl like that.” There was the slightest sneer in Z’s tone as they glanced at the lead singer. “Besides, we all know I’m the one he falls asleep with at night.”

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Part 2 >>

[luckilyluculent]

2, 6, 7, 13, 17, 18; Eleanor: 31, 34, 39, 45; Felix: 26, 35, 40; Belsaadi: 36, 38, 43.

This is long as hell so all the answered questions are under the cut

EVERYBODY(as of 5/22/2018)’SQUESTIONS –

#2 – WHAT OC CHARACTER IS/HAS AMENTOR?

The first OC of mine that likedirectly leaps to mind whenever I see the word “mentor” is probably Henry Blake—he’s.One of the many unlisted and not directly on my blog, but his literalprofession is teaching and you don’t get more mentor-y than that! He’s alsotaken people under his wing before directly. Henry was also straight up made asan homage to my first ever like, thought out character (a warrior cat namedFicklestar lmao) and one of the more important things to the character he wasbased on was his role as mentor to a friend’s character. I wanted to keep thatprevalent in all iterations of this character, Henry is just the most recentreally (though he and Ficklestar aren’t even that similar rofl).

I’d also probably categorize myboy Malik as a mentor as well, seeing as he just sort of. Casually adoptseveryone and everything that he comes across. He would definitely like to thinkthat’s more of him just defecting to be a pack leader, but he spends so muchtime teaching others and trying to help them grow that I can’t help but want tolabel him as that. He’d make a great teacher if he wasn’t so busy trying tokeep all of his adopted children safe smh.

#6 – WHAT OC IS THE MOM FRIEND?

Funnily enough, I think thatlabel would go to my character Cat the most. Mostly because he’s the one thattends to take a position of responsibility and look after everyone. Likeliterally, he basically quietly sits back and watches most of the time. But he’salways there with an open ear or shoulder, and because he’s veryobservant/insightful he tends to notice when things are going wrong or ifsomeone needs help. Cat’s also got like, a super strong mama bear streak withthe people that he cares about and though he’s usually very calm, cool andcollected he gets real mad real fast when someone he loves is in trouble.

#7 – WHAT OC REALLY NEEDS THE MOMFRIEND AROUND?

I wanted to give this to Bels—I reallydid, but like I’ve realized that a huge part of Belsaadi’s character narrativeis that I wanted her to learn how to stand on her own. Not just with people,but sometimes in front of them and without them. So this took a little bit morethinking on my part, and I actually think I’m going to land on my character Eleanorfor that.

Eleanor is just very young andnaive! She was prone to making snap decisions that weren’t so great, andDamakos (who I am dubbing the mom friend of that party, sorry Tess) was oftenwho she looked to for guidance when she thought that she needed some. Eleanorneeded someone in general that filled a role of looking after her, and I’vetried playing her outside of her original party and it has just felt odd andincomplete. Maybe I can try again sometimes, but who knows.

#13 – WHICH OCS COMPLIMENT EACHOTHER THE BEST?

HM this is an interestingthought. I don’t often think of my characters as duos or as hanging out—out ofthe D&D squad I’d probably say that Eleanor and Belsaadi would make areally good compliment to one another. Eleanor has enough gentle warmth toreign in the times that Bels tends to dip toward more bloody and not-so-goodsolutions, she’d be very good for keeping Bels firmly “good” aligned to behonest and would be a good force for her to not only look after (and thusfinally take on some responsibility) but also to keep her mindset towardherself more healthy since Eleanor’s not afraid to call people out and steerthem gently into more positive thinking. Bels would be great for Eleanor inthat Bels would probably encourage her to try to consider people’s intentionsmore. She’d let Eleanor flourish in her positivity but would actually probablybe one of the few characters that would try to curb her naivety, using her ownexperiences to guide and steer her straight. So they’d both sort of guide oneanother, which would be lovely in its own way. Bels would also absolutely callEleanor out often on her choice of men, which is something Eleanor needed tbh.

As for the whole Delry crew(which is where the likes of Cat and Henry and Malik are popping up) I wouldlove, absolutely love to have my Jester and Flavius tear shit up together. Youtake my sassy magic-eating demon-boy and mix him with the swashbuckling rogueand I’m sure they’d have some really fun adventures together. They wouldn’tnecessarily compliment each other emotionally (if anything they’d get into alot of trouble together and Jester would aggravate Flav’s want to keep peopleat a playful arm’s length and Flav would aggravate Jester’s issue of notnecessarily caring about others if he doesn’t know them at all). Still! They’dbe a fun like, fighting team in any case. Their physical and magical abilitieswould compliment in fun ways, and I’d love to write it out sometime.

#17 – WHICH OCs DON’T KNOW EACHOTHER, BUT WOULD HATE ONE ANOTHER IF THEY DID?

…Bels would hate my characterStephanie. Steph was the first dnd character I had and lawful evil, and Belswould have just enough insight on her (Steph, even though she was a bard, hadmost of her stats in intelligence) to pick up on the fact that Steph was mostlytrying to manipulate everyone into liking her. That alone would drive Bels upthe wall, but Stephanie’s need to play dumb so consistently that she keepsinformation that could ultimately help others close to her chest unless itbenefits her would make Bels want to wring her neck. Steph wouldn’t care forBelsaadi because she’d call her out all the time, and that would make heruncomfortable and honestly just. Pissed off most of the time.

#18 – WHICH OCs WOULD MAKE THEWORST COUPLE?

[steeples fingers] I.

Huh.

…

Probably my character Gawain andEleanor. Gawain’s basically a paladin housing like 200 ancient evil spiritsinside of him (like Gawain himself would be fine, but not like… the one withthe fun ghosts in him) to protect his brother. He’d probably try to see how farhe could push Eleanor’s want to “save” him by doing truly awful things—first tostrangers, then to her family and the people around her. Eleanor wouldn’t stickaround for the whole thing, but she’d hold out faith for long enough to gethurt and it would… eugh. It’d be bad. Toxic, abusive. Not a good time.

ELEANOR QUESTIONS

# 31 – DOES OC HAVE SIBLINGS? DOTHEY GET ALONG IF THEY DO? DO THEY WISH THEY HAD SOME IF THEY DON’T?

Oh yeah! Eleanor’s the youngestof several siblings and she gets along really well with all of them. In fact,of all my characters Eleanor has the most healthy like, family relationship Iswear. She was using Sending to contact her parents regularly while adventuringon the road, and even sending letters and gifts to other members of her family.I’m fairly certain she’s on good terms with her extended family too tbh.

#34 – WHAT IS SOMETHING UNUSUALOC HAS BONDED WITH SOMEONE OVER?

Perhaps the oddest—and one of myfavorites—thing Eleanor ever did to bond with someone was to dangle off of Theo’sbicep to see how strong he was. This while wearing her full armor by the way.Also her entire friendship with Athrun in general? The fact that he talked inher head constantly when he was a warlock and she was just like “mmkay!” thewhole time basically? It was pretty wild.

#39 – WHO DOES THE OC CONSIDER TOHAVE LEARNED THEIR MOST IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON FROM?

Pelor—yeah she’s that kind ofcleric haha. Eleanor just wouldn’t be Eleanor without Pelor to guide her, it’ssuch a large part of who she is and what she does and what she views as goodthat I honestly can’t even really play her in a game that doesn’t include himin the pantheon. She’d probably follow that up with saying her father—he taughther that being kind was not always easy, it would often—in fact—be the hardestthing she could do, but to embrace her kindness because it was part of who shewas.

#40 – HOW MUCH DO OC’S FRIENDSKNOW ABOUT THEIR PRIVATE LIFE?

Eleanor is pretty open withpeople that she loves and cares about! She tends to tell those she trusts whenshe has a crush on someone, and has never been the sort that likes to lie. Shedoes, however, often hide when she’s not feeling happy or good about something—it’sher job to be the happy cheerful one after all! She’s their sunshine! Sometimesshe feels like she has to put aside her fears because of that.

FELIX QUESTIONS

#26 – DOES OC HAVE A HARD OR EASYTIME MAKING FRIENDS?

Well, considering that during aone shot Felix very warmly convinced two guards of the place we were sneakinginto that he was a recruit and ended up mopping the floors for a good portion ofthe boss battle—Felix makes friends very easily. Having a high charisma helps,but Felix is just a warm and friendly person in general. He rarely dislikespeople, and when he does he tries to see their point of view before stickingwith it. He’s pretty endearing too, even if he’s a bit of a dope.

#35 – WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANTRELATIONSHIP IN OC’S LIFE?

This is a little hard to say—currentlyI’d probably state his mother, though his friend Cass is edging up there to behonest. He’s always been supported and loved by her, and she did a lot for himwhen he was transitioning in just being a great loving force. She didn’t evenreally blame him for when the house burnt down in the end! He cares very muchabout her and wants her to stay safe, no matter where he is and what he ends updoing.

#40 – WHO MOTIVATES OC?

Is it odd to say himself? Felixisn’t a selfish boy by any means, but he believes in growing and learning andbeing the very best you can be! He doesn’t like to let things get him down forvery long, and is quick to motivate himself and push himself forward when hefeels he might end up in a slump. Though he can be sad or upset like manypeople and faces a lot of situations that make him worry, he wants to besomeone good and help people out!

BELSAADI’S QUESTIONS:

#36 – HOW HAS OC BEEN AFFECTED BYTHEIR FRIENDSHIPS?

Bels has changed so much as a character since she firststarted her journey—genuinely being loved and cared about by other people was ahuge factor in that. Bels actually kind of cares about herself now? Which isutterly wild to me. She cares abouther future, and what she does. She doesn’t want to throw her life away but livefor the people that she loves and cares about—and for herself. Which is huge. Bels started out filled to thebrim with self-loathing, half certain that the reason she was abandoned andtreated how she was was her fault. She’s grown in confidence since then, butalso in the person that she is. She’s not just someone who can turn into a bearnow, she knows her own flaws but she’s aware of her strengths too (and not justthe physical ones).

Also, god can I talk about whatwould have happened if Rowan died? She loved Rowan, Belsaadi adored Rowan. It’sthe strongest example of platonic love I have literally ever written in mywhole life. I love them and their relationship to pieces, and for a long timeif Rowan died Bels would have just. Stopped. I couldn’t imagine her withoutRowan at all.

And then I thought, but Rowanwould not like that.

And then Bels started thinking Rowan would not like that. Bels lost a lot ofpeople on her adventures—first Darth, her sort of adopted brother Meero andeven her very first friend Nilus. Rowan was the last of the main party still left with Bels, and I knew losing herwould break her heart—but it wouldn’t make Bels break herself. Or breakentirely. Or just stop trying. Because Bels lost so much she finally learned what it meant to lose people you loved.

She learned that you need to keepliving and carrying on the pieces of them with you. You try to be cautious likeDarth, but sometimes you’re reckless like Meero, you laugh like Nilus whenthings seem darkest. She learned that you’re all at once the people you loveand your own self, and that she—Belsaadi—deserved to live even if she lost itall. That she could get sad, get angry, but she could never let it poison her. Because ultimately what all thosepeople, the people that loved her, would want is for her to keep livinghappily.

Anyway. So yeah, she changed alot. My Bels, I was proud of her by the time that campaign couldn’t continue,even if we never reached the full end of her story.

#38 – HOW HAS OC BEEN AFFECTED BYTHEIR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP(S) OR LACK THEREOF?

Ah. I talk a lot about howBelsaadi falls in love easily—far easier than any of my other characters. I don’toften consider that trait a flaw, but when you go to the extent that Bels did thenI definitely do. Belsaadi was so, sodesperate for love. Even after she got it she was always clawing for it ineverything she needed—and Bels, she had a lot of love to give, but she was desperate. And that was a character flaw. Bels had a lot ofromantic relationships that were either barely touched or regrets that shenever acted on. It made her very prone to leaping headfirst into it. She lovedthe idea of love.

#43 – HOW DOES OC MEET MOSTPEOPLE?

Lately? In moments where shefeels like her life is on the line unfortunately. Or when someone else’s lifeis on the line. Whether she’s stepping through portals to answer misguidedcalls for help or if she’s trying to keep herself and her friends alive—a lotof her adventure has been GO GO GO. There haven’t been many lasting friendsthat she’s made where she was feeling something below the level of EXTREMESTRESS. Guess that’s what you get for trying to save the world.

[ongfreestyle]

High School AU (Yoo Kihyun)

*This idea was floating around in my head *And man it sounds juicy but idk lol *(SPOILER ALERT this ain't turn out how I wanted :( I'll try again) *So it's freshman year of high school and you joined the yearbook committee *Your literally one of the only freshman who joined *Except Yoo Kihyun (ayyyyeee #PlotConvenience) and some other kid named Minhyuk who was annoying to you at first *So freshman year starts off easy *But holy shit you've gotta go to school events to get pictures AND you have to design the yearbook pages AND THE COVER AND THE THEME AND YOUR COUNTING VOTES FOR SR. FAVES *It's a lot tbh *But luckily you've got a whole team of people who are there to help you out *Except on Friday Night Football *Not one person volunteered to go on the sidelines and take pics *Everyone's "too busy" or being in the sidelines is "too dangerous" *But the truth is everyone just wants to be in the bleachers hanging with friends instead of doing stuff for the yearbook *So guess who gets roped into doing it? *The freshmen of course! *So you Kihyun and Minhyuk are now on the sidelines, with your sideline passes and your all shook *Because why the fuck are all these football players so big? And why are the cheerleaders and pom girls all here on the sidelines? A news crew is here too? *It's hectic *You and Kihyun are just gripping you cameras for dear life unsure of what to do *And Minhyuk is like "k I'm gonna go snap some pics of the mascot" *He's so bold and confident it seems *And you and Kihyun are a bit more shy *But then the game starts and there is zero time to be shy because you guys are running all around trying to get a shot of every group you can *After like and hour and a half you're beat *So you're looking at your pics while you take a break off to the side and you realize they're mostly blurry and out of focus *You're literally like FML all this for nothing and you really wanna go home because there is so much going on and your stressed :( *So your about to call your mom and you look over and see Kihyun crouching down by the endzone clearly trying to get some aesthetic shot of the sky or something *And he's so focused he doesn't realize that the game is still going *And that number 85 is CHARGING TOWARDS HIM *SO on a whim you drop your camera and run over there *Just like you in some kinda KDrama you shove him over and fall on top of him *And literally the whole school can see *Plus Minhyuk is definitely taking a picture of this *And you get up as fast as you can because this can't be a flattering angle and you're sweaty and probably smell like a locker room at this point *85 scored btw *Kihyun is like "um what the hell? You almost crushed my camera?" *Then your like "85 was running and he would have hit you and he was running so fast he couldn't stop... probably" *Kihyun is like "oh thx ig" *He kinda doesn't buy it but he sees 85 is had ran way past the endzone so it's plausible *Anyway that's your first encounter with Yoo Kihyun *And it sucked *But you try not to think of it and hope no one actually cared that you were on top of him during the game *So you go home *And THEN MONDAY YOU RETURN AND EVERYONE IS SHIPPING Y'ALL *It's the weirdest thing too because you literally only know his name and he probably doesn't know yours so HOW ARE PEOPLE EVEN COMING UP WITH THIS IDEA *Then you remember that you two were actually on top of one another at the game last Friday *And your friends are like so...👀👀👀 *And you're like "SO ?? I WAS HELPING A FELLOW YEARBOOK TEAM MEMBER!" *And they're like "help him with what?" 👀👀👀 *And it gets worse when they show you the pics some people got *Because from a higher angle it looks intentional and more sensual I guess *Really it's a mess and when you go to yearbook class Minhyuk has taken the liberty of printing the HD pictures he got and putting them on your desks *He's smiling *And your shook and embarrassed *One of the upperclassmen literally asked you if he was hard and how big he felt because she like younger men ! *You're just !!!!!!! *You toss the picture in the trash and try to trash the one on Kihyun's desk, but he comes in and you are too shy to make eye contact when he asks you why you're at his desk *So you just go sit down *Then he's furious when he sees the pic *His rage is only stopped by the teacher calling role and assigning a yearbook page for everyone *You get the cheerleader page and Kihyun gets the football page *And then you guys all head to the computer room by your class to start making pages *And as soon as you guys exit the classroom you hear a large SMACK sound *And Minhyuk is like OOOUUCH *"MINHYUK WHAT THE FUCK?!" *"THE WHOLE SCHOOL IS TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT AND I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY WHAT THE FUCK?!" *Minhyuk is just laughing and saying sorry, but he's clearly not sorry *And you're just ... *Then you get into the computer lab and somehow you end up sitting next to him *And he's working in his football page *You're doing cheer *But you don't have many pictures and most are blurry *And Kihyun has amazing pics but his page layout is trash *So you decide maybe you can make a deal *You can help him with layouts if he helps you with pictures *And after class you suggest it *And he's surprisingly all for it *He gives you his number so you guys can discuss in further detail *Weeks pass and your deal actually never makes a start *You just have Kihyun's number chilling in your phone *Every freshman girls dream tbh *Finally towards the end of the year he is like "hey you still down to help me out with my pages? I wanna make them good before we submit them" *And you were like "sure if you show me how to properly work a camera and get cool shots like you" *He's happy with your compliment it's written all over his face *And your happy that he's taking to you because all year you've been so awkward and your only friend has been a Senior and Minhyuk and they're great *But like *You also wanna befriend Kihyun *So you guys pick a weekend *Meet up at a Starbucks *And you start teaching Kihyun all the technical stuff about making a good layout *You're both looking at your laptop *You're sitting pretty close together *Kihyun has a nice scent he smells like a fresh shower *IDK he looks like he smells pretty fresh *Anyway he's got those Harry Potter style glasses on *{Swoons} *Plus black hair that looks kinda wet *Is it moose? Is it post-shower hair? *Is it kinda hot? *Yes *So after going over tips for like an hour Kihyun stops you and buys you a coffee *And you're like feel all shy inside because that was super nice *So he's like "K let's go outside. I'll show you how to shoot" *You're packing up your things and he's helping you and your fingers touch and y'all pull away so damn quick *It's like you got burned or something *Awkward *Then Kihyun is leading you across the street and showing how he would capture the Starbucks you were just in *And as he's talking your just like 💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟 *He's really cute and passionate about photography *And he's cute *Dude Kihyun is really cute k *So anyways he hands you the camera and says "try it" *You're obviously fucked because you haven't been listening to anything he said *Plus he camera is some fancy Nikon and you haven't the slightest clue how to work it *"Is it on?" *"Yeah" *He chuckled at you *Bitch it was the best chuckle you've heard in your life *So you snap a pic if Starbucks *It's basic as shit and kinda off center *The focus is a bit strange too *But Kihyun isn't an ass so he tells you "it's a start" *And your DYING inside like WHO CAN'T SNAP ONE PIC *But Kihyun keeps teaching you and while you're finally focusing correctly it's not professional looking like his *Still it's much better than before *After all that Kihyun offers to walk you home *You're like sure *You're sweating *But he takes you home and y'all don't even speak *When you get home you friends are like what's the tea ???👀👀👀 *Ain't no tea *But Kihyun is definitely cute and you have a slight crush *The schools ship might sail *LMAO BUT NOT YET BIH I'M NOT THAT LAZY *FAST FORWARD TO JUNIOR YEAR *Y'ALL ARE BESTIES *Still on that Yearbook grind *But Kihyun does all the pics for you and you do all his pages for him *It's fair enough tbh *On the weekends y'all get together to work on more yearbook stuff and Minhyuk 3rd wheels since he quit to join the broadcast team *He just likes to hang with y'all tbh *And ship y'all *Then say it was his iconic picture that started it all *When honestly you two got close Sophomore year by doing each other's work and collaborating on the weekends when you could *Junior year though you guys just stayed together because you like to be around one another *It was about yearbook all the time anymore *It was about friendship *Of course you're crushing on Kihyun really bad now though *His hair is dark brown now *He got a bit taller *He works out now *He has contacts *He keeps his hair slicked back and dresses and smells sO NICE *HE'S NOT CUTE ANYMORE *HE'S HOTTTTTTTT *You gotta play it cool *But every weekend it's getting harder *He's so relaxed around you *He looks super cool just leaning back in a chair at your dining room table *And when he talks his voice is kinda low *You swear he's doing it on purpose *But no he's just being all casual and shit *It's too much *One day he's looking through pics on his camera and he just stops *Looks at you *And smiles *Your heart 💕💔 *And then he says *"Thanks for buying me a new SD card yesterday. These pictures came out great" *💔💔💔💔💔 *Not that you were waiting for him to say something sweet to you 😑 *And this keeps happening *He'll give you the most endearing look and say something stupid *Like: *You have ranch in your hair *I got you a napkin *Nice shirt *Are those new pants *You think dogs have emotions like us? *And eventually you stop even thinking about him confessing and move on *And every boyfriend you get is chased away by Kihyun *They all say your just too close with Kihyun and they can't take it *So you give up on dating *And move on to SR. Year *Prom season sneaks up on you and your single af *All your friends are shopping while you just watch and nod at them like "yes, you need a bigger size, don't squeeze" *And after a while they're like "hey why aren't you trying on anything?" *You're like "I got no date" *You're friends actually laugh *"WYM no date? UuuUmMm Yoo Kihyun" *"We're just friends" *"Sounds fake but okay" *"Kihyun isn't into me" *{Spoiler he is} *You ain't hearing it *You decide to be headass and find a new date *Some jock named Rick *Rick isn't a complete ass, but he's too cocky *Really your favorite part about starting to date him was to hear Kihyun roast him *Fast forward to Prom day *You're at Kihyn's place laying on his bed listening to some OSTs *And he's doing that thing again *Ya know when he looks at you like he loves you with all his life then says something irrelevant *Yeah *But this time he walks out of the room and comes back with a binder full of pictures *And he tosses it on the bed and he's like "look" *So up open it up and see all of his amazing shots *He's so talented *You also see a ton of candid shots of you *"Why so many...me's?" *"Cuz you're beautiful. Duh." *He TRIED to play it cool, but BOI HE ACTUALLY ALMOST SAID HE LOVED YOU AND WANTED RICK TO GET LOST *"Thanks" *Suddenly you get to a page of just you and him and you're blushing *Also your getting hella soft because freshman year pics are there *Anyways, Kihyun just lets you look and then says *"If Rick is a dick let me know. You can't be with a guy who doesn't appreciate you like me" *"You appreciate me?" *"Duh" *Then he gives that lovely look again and he grabs your face gently *"Kihyun?" *"I wish it was me, but I'm..." *You're waiting for him to say something anything, but he doesn't so you literally just call his name and he jumps *Guess what he says? *"Sorry I was lost in your eyes" kdkskkdkfjdksks *Yup *And you wanna snap him in half *Honestly you thought this was it *But no *You swat his hand away from you face and storm off *You actually wanna cry because this was his last chance to confess and take you to prom, but NOOO *You leave his house and he follows you outside all confused *B you just snap *"Leave me alone! You play around too much! You know exactly what you do to me!" *Kihyun actually almost passed out when he heard you *He races after you and he's like *"What do you mean by 'what I do to you?'" *"Nothing" *"No you mean something!" *Your just gonna go to your car and he grabs your wrist (slow motion replay KDrama style) *The he's like *"Don't go with Rick" *You're like *Well fuck *You can't stand up Rick *He's a decent dude *So you reluctantly say that you will be going to prom with Rick and go get dressed *Homie, prom is lit ASF *You and your girls are actually having so much fun that you low-key forget about your dates *Until slow dance time *And Rick is gone *Probably shitfaced in the bathroom *All your friends go back to their dates and your reminded that you totally lost your chance to be with Kihyun *And you're pouting about it *Yeah *You're sitting by the punch bowl all sulky looking gorgeous *Hoping for someone to come save you *But nothing *8 more slow songs pop off and you're like JFC I wanna leave *But lucky from you prom is actually ending and people are heading out, it's getting late *Rick turned up he was escorted out for being drunk on school premises *So you're dateless again *You're making your way out and then you see this sexy guy running into the place *Black suit *Dark hair slicked back *He smashes into you *It's Kihyun *And he's got you by the waist suddenly and he's looking at you in the eyes smiling *Holy !! *He smells fresh *And he's looking at you like you invented the whole universe *And you're in awe because he looks like a God or something *And he just says, "You wanna dance?" *And even though everyone is exiting you pull him to the dance floor *And you slow dance *Y'all are FACE TO FUKKEN FACE *CAN U IMAGINE *And you are SUPER CLOSE *He has your waist *You have your arms around his shoulders *Your swaying with no music *But Kihyun is a doll so he just sings to you *IM (FUCKING) AGINE *HE'S SINGING THAT DAMN GOBLIN OST AND YOUR SWOONING *Like your knees are weak *And he's probably helping you stand up because wow *It's literally just you two until he's done singing and the staff is like GTFO *So he walks you to your car *Your holding hands *AnD HE GIVES THAT DAMN LOOK BUT THIS TIME HES SAYS HE THINKS HE LOVES YOU AND HE KISSES YOU *ON THE LIPS *Then LEAVES YOU TO SORT OUT YOUR FEELS *You mull it over for a week and of course you want to date Kihyun *So you dump Rick ASAP *Head to Kihyun's house *Nag him about his dirty room *And how he almost ruined your prom by not going with you in the first place *And then you notice he's looking at your lips and your all sensitive *But doesn't care and just says *"I don't think I love you" *You KnOw what's COMING NEXT BIH *"I KNOW I love you" *Oh and he leans in to kiss you and you close the space *And then all of a sudden your Frenching on his messy bed *Your on top and it reminds you of the first time you interacted *So you stop kissing to inform him that everything has come full circle *And he laughs and asks if he should call Minhyuk to take a pic because next time he plans to top 😜😜 *You smack him because wth you guys aren't even OFFICIAL yet *And how can you get used to you hot BFF being you BF ?? *Mysteries I tell ya *Anywho *You guys are now OFFICIALLY the schools fav couple *You win Sr. Faves and everything *And that picture of you two us LEGENDARY *And you guys go around being obnoxiously adorable *And you take pictures so often *Y'all's Instagrams are POPPING *IT GOALS HOMIE *GOALS *And if Kihyun isn't the best boyfriend ever *He's super sweet yet sassy *(My phone tried to correct that as daddy) *If he sees that you're overwhelmed he'll literally force to go relax with him or force you to let him help you out *You guys are ALWAYS FLIRTING AND TEASING EACH OTHER *You know what makes Kihyun really red and embarrassed? *PDA *He calls you embarrassing pet names as revenge *He is always cheering you on and he's still your best friend *And one day you two are chilling and you throw him that look that he always gives you *And he's like "what?" *"I dunno...I think I love you." All casually *And he just laughs and kisses you *"I think you love me too."

[dreamerology]

my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

[heytheresassydetective]

UNOFFICIAL RANKING OF VILLAINS

Edit: I updated the top few spots in this list to reflect how I feel now. Should I add Midnight in Salem to the list? Let me know!!

Alright, Clue Crew, here it is- the villain ranking nobody asked for!  This was harder than expected, and I tried to make a logical way of ordering things, but who am I to judge who was the best ne’er-do-well?  If you have any questions about my ranking, want an explanation, or just want to yell at me, shoot me an ask.  

HERE WE GO:

33. SCK- Mitch Dillon

Do I remember much about this guy? No, no I do not.  I remember that he was a drug dealer and wasn’t in most of the game, so I never felt anything towards him.  That being said, he did kill a high school student, so I wouldn’t mess with him.  As far as character development goes, I give him an F.  Sorry not sorry Mitch.

32. MED- Sonny Joon? Or Kiri??? Who tf knows???

The real culprits of MED are the people who thought this game was a good idea.  All jokes aside, I don’t know if I want to list Sonny Joon as a villain, because he’s been such a cool character that has reappeared (but never actually appeared) throughout the games.  I don’t like how they introduced him- a game show?  Really?  It sounds fun in theory, but it doesn’t logically lead to finding that Annunaki shit he was looking for, in my mind at least.  He could have easily found Nancy (they have enough mutual friends by now) and been like “Hey what’s up hello I wanna find this shit help me out”.  Anyway, I think his character design for the game was sloppy- they spent so much time hyping this guy up over the course of the games, and then we meet this purple-haired guy who only speaks in riddles that try to make him sound edgy?  That’s like half of the people on tumblr (no offense to tumblr lol).  This game lowkey pisses me off, and they could do better with Sonny’s character.  As for Kiri, she was just kinda there until the end when she was like “lol okay i’ll be the bad guy in this competition” no thanks.

31. SCK: R- Detective Beech

I was hesitant to put this game into the mix, but it’s only fair, because it has a different ending than the original SCK.  Detective Beech seemed weird from the get-go, but I wasn’t ready for him to pull a fucking gun on Nancy.  And if you choose the wrong things, he will legitimately kill you, and it’s extreme.  It was cool that they changed the ending, but let’s get real here, when they said there would be a different ending and then Detective Beech showed up, did anyone not think “yeah it’ll probably be him”.  There were enough turns to get me to doubt a bit, but it was pretty obvious.  So, yeah, points for pulling a gun on Nancy, deductions for being obvious.

30. TRT- Lisa Ostrum

Oh, Lisa- what a chatty character.  She literally never shuts up in the final tower scene, and then decides to momentarily incapacitate Nancy for her big escape instead of trying something more permanent.  That pepper spray had the most extra name ever, like you could have just said “pepper spray” to get the message across.  Also- since everyone is snowed in, she wouldn’t have anywhere to go once she got away.  Flawed plan aside, she always bugged me.  Sorry Lisa, take your catchphrases and bobblehead somewhere else.

29. CLK- Jane Willoughby

CLK is fine as a game, and I love the aesthetic, but it’s not one of my favorites.  I thought Jane was an okay villain, with identity theft and attempted robbery and all that jazz, but she doesn’t really stick out in my mind, save for the plethora of “you betcha”s.  The endgame was also weird to me- I wouldn’t expect a game set in the 1930’s to end in a car chase that causes a pie explosion, but less believable things have happened to Nancy Drew.  I don’t hate Jane as a villain, but this game came right after some really stellar games- some of my favorites (DDI, SHA, and CUR)- so I can see why this one felt a little flat to me.  Jane’s plan was actually pretty good, and it’s something that couldn’t be pulled off today as easily as in the 30s, so props to her.

28. STFD- Dwayne Powers

I honestly have mixed feelings about Dwayne because of everything that has transpired with his character, but attempting murder out of jealousy? That’s extreme, and I feel like it was a well-done crime, all things considered.  Plus, I didn’t notice until after playing the game a few times that Owen W. Spayder is an anagram for Dwayne Powers.  Very sneaky, HeR.  While I’ll cover Dwayne in RAN later, I do think that he would be one to seek revenge, so his return almost made sense to me.

27. SSH- Taylor Sinclair

This guy seemed overly nice from the beginning.  Cookies from Oaxaca?  You know he’s hiding something.  He was too nice to make me feel comfortable when talking to him, and locking Nancy in a grave with a corpse? Eek, no thanks.  I’m kinda peeved that we never got to really catch him, because while we were trying to get out of that stone death chamber, Taylor was captured, Henrik regained his memory, AND all the other characters decided to get all chummy with each other.  Pretty convenient ending, if you ask me.

26. RAN- Dwayne Powers (again)

Oh god, here we go.  RAN is not a loved game by most of the Clue Crew (there are some outliers who like it, no shame to them), but in all honesty, I liked that they brought back an old villain.  I don’t like this game at all, and I think they could have done something waaaay more creepy with a returning villain (it’s clear Dwayne has been tracking Nancy- he could have played so many mind games with her regarding past cases), but yeah, bringing back Dwayne wasn’t a terrible idea at all, they just went about it wrong.  His nefarious acts were more villainous to me in this game for whatever reason- maybe it was his hiding in plain sight (or hiding Bess in plain sight for that matter), or his strategic planning that showed just how far he’d go to get revenge.  It makes sense that he got away tbh- I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw him again.  If we do, can I ask HeR to make that one extra scary- he could set up a series of events that play out like all her past cases leading up to that one, and make references only she could know about, and damn this is a good idea someone hire me.

25. HAU- Fiona, like kinda

Can I put Fiona down as the culprit here?  Like, yeah, she kidnapped a guy and pushed Nancy down a hole and caused some havoc, but she’s also a feral old woman on a jet pack, so is it her fault she’s this way??  Who’s the real culprit of this game, a society that will accept this and say “ah fuck it she’s a banshee that dude’s gone pass the non-alcoholic drinks”?  Anyway.  While I like HAU and it’s quirky puzzles and charming atmosphere and gorgeous music, that ending is so out of left field it’s kind of funny to me- like suddenly the game just goes “HERE HAVE AN OLD WOMAN GIVE YOU A JUMP SCARE THEN SOLVE A HARD CHEMICAL PUZZLE”- it seems so out of place to me, but it made for a relatively pleasant ending for all, so no harm done, I guess?

24. TRN- Lori Gerard

Lori is another villain that doesn’t stick out to me, because I honestly see her as an accidental villain.  I don’t think she wanted to hurt Nancy, I just think she wanted to prove everyone wrong and show herself as a smart and capable woman.  However, the way she went about it wasn’t cool, so yeah, villain status for her.  I thought her disappearing act was clever, and her character as a whole is hilarious to me, so she’s not on the rotten side of villains in my perspective.  Lori is dramatic as hell and super spoiled so that always makes for an entertaining character, and it wasn’t SUPER obvious that they would make the hostess the culprit, so she’s not too high on the list, but it doesn’t make her bad.  Honestly, she and Tino Balducci deserve each other.  

23. CRE- Mike Mapu

Big. Island. Mike.  The man, the myth, the legend.  The Clue Crew’s fascination with this character will never cease to amuse me.  And yet, while I think he’s a fine character, I’m not thrilled by his role as a villain.  His reveal at the end just seemed so…anticlimactic?  And he seemed to quickly change his mind?  One minute he was all “we have angered Kane Okala oh nooooo” and then the next he’s like “y’all can die for all I care” and peaces tf out of the volcano or wherever they were.  This whole game was just very “eh” for me.  Big Island Mike is a great meme, and good on him for going all “fuck you” to capitalism and whatnot, but I wasn’t thrilled by his ENDLESS parade of chores and the random-ass snowcone guessing game annoyed me more than Fox & Geese (hard to believe).  Still, I’d stay at Mike’s resort if I went to Hawaii, because I think he’d be a fun guy.

22. ICE- Yanni Volkstaia

Now, I don’t want to come right out and say that ICE was made in the Cold-War era as a thinly-veiled anti-USSR game, but nobody’s believing that Yanni is really from “motherland Fredonia”, amiright?  All jokes aside, I like ICE as a game (with the exception of fox and geese jfc), and the ending had you believing there was a different villain every minute (or like, every five minutes), but I was kind of disappointed that one of the wisest, most intriguing characters in the whole game was the villain.  That being said, if you go back and play the game, you can see how Yanni is constantly talking about how wolves are bad omens and this one is a sign of evil aaaaaaaah and it makes sense that he’s trying to get people away from the lodge that way.  Also, this guy is a pro athlete.  Do you really want me to believe that Nancy Drew can run him off the snow and force him to confess??

21. TOT- Scott Varnell

TOT is kind of a breath of fresh air as a low-stakes internship simulator where you can run stoplights and take pictures of clouds and trap mice a thousand times.  That being said, I don’t feel threatened by Scott, so he seems like a more casual villain to me, if that makes any sense.  Nancy kind of inadvertently saves his life, right?  Like kind of?  So I’m pretty chill with this whole game and with Scott- at the end of the game, it really feels like nothing big was lost, but nothing big was gained, which is honestly a nice break from the mindset of “do this or you DIE BY THE HANDS OF THE VILLAIN”

20. FIN- Joseph Hughes

Why does Nancy trust this guy so much throughout the game??? It annoys me to no end that she tells him e v e r y t h i n g.  But really, I couldn’t help but feel bad for this guy.  You find out that his brother died, so he might be in denial or in the early stages of dementia.  Still, he kidnapped Maya, and almost got her and Nancy killed (whether that was intentional or not), and that last scene with him when Nancy was trying to tell him what was really going on was terrifying to me when I was younger.  He seemed sorry though, so he’s not a ~hardcore villain~ in my eyes.

19. DAN- Minette

I feel like making Minette the villain was a really predictable move, but there needs to be a predictable character every once in awhile, right?  I loved her erratic and aggressive character, but the endgame was so weird to me that it kind of spoiled the game for me.  However, I liked that HeR made Minette a designer for plus-sized women, and that plot to bug the First Lady’s dress?  Clever.  The ending with blocking Minette’s attacks will forever confuse me- it seemed very out of left field and honestly, I want Nancy to beat someone up, not just block their sound-specific hits.  I was also disappointed about Minette’s reason for her mask- they couldn’t have tried a little harder and made it some botched plastic surgery or something??

18. WAC- Corine Myers

The roommate trope!  Love it or hate it, it’s here.  I have mixed feelings about WAC- I generally like it, but the characters’ oversized eyes bug me to no end, and I feel like there could be a little more Edgar Allen Poe mixed in there, but overall it’s a solid game.  I can’t stand some of the characters- Leela is so fucking annoying (I think it’s her voice that gets to me), and the twin reveal makes absolutely no sense (how’re you gonna live two lives if you only have documentation for one person??), but they’re not the villains, so I’ll gloss over that.  Corine had a well-thought-out plan and stuck to it, even though she came close to killing a few people.  She’s a wickedly smart girl, and she knows it, and I think that’s what made her so dangerous.  Also, did Corine not go to jail for what she did?  I get that she’s a minor, but she caused some real damage to these people.  Whatever- I don’t think she’d come for Nancy for revenge, but I wouldn’t want to room with her again.

17. TMB- Abdullah Bakhoum

I’ve loved learning about Ancient Egypt since I was little, so TMB was really fun for me.  I liked Abdullah as a villain- it certainly made sense why he did what he did- but again, it felt a little obvious.  He’s too self-centered and abrasive to let anyone else get that much attention, even an unnamed villain.  Anyway, I think TMB gets a lot of flack for being forgettable, and yeah I can understand that, but it’s a solid game and that end puzzle was really fun for me, so I’m still rooting for this game!

16. MHM- Louis Chandler

Louis is a pretty tame villain, in my opinion.  I love MHM, but I never felt like the villain in that game was out to hurt me.  If anything, I was more worried about the mansion itself, because I still believe that it was actually haunted (fucked me up as a kid).  Still, he did a good job of trying to steal the treasure, so props to him.  He did kind of creep me out, and it always bugged me that he kicked Nancy out of the mansion for literally reading the same book he read.

15. ASH- Brenda Carlton

Brenda Carlton is so fucking annoying to me, let’s get that out of the way.  She’s such a slimy reporter that will do anything to get the story she wants (she is willing to dress up as Nancy and set a historic building on fire just to ruin one person’s reputation jfc).  I’m starting to notice a theme of pettiness with these villains, tbh.  Anyway, I commend her dedication to her cause, that’s something I can always respect, but if Nancy Drew can solve your crime from a jail cell, is it really that airtight of a plan??  Tbh I think the reason why I dislike Brenda so much is that she somehow gets everyone to turn on Nancy, a girl that has helped countless people and has a shining reputation.  Also she takes advantage of Ned, who is a naive sweet boy and he doesn’t deserve that!!  I really like ASH, and bringing down Brenda is so satisfying, but I can’t rank her much higher due to my bias.

14. CAR- Elliot Chen

Right off the bat- being strangled by Elliot was traumatizing, like holy shit are these games really intended for children???  Now that I got that out of the way, I liked Elliot’s subtle actions that sent Nancy off the case- helping her with Joy’s different riddles so she wouldn’t look into the accidents both played into the plot and supposedly threw you “off the case”- although it ended up helping you in the end.  Also, props to Elliot for using his talents to make forged art- I’m not saying I agree with it, but if I were a starving artist (and with my major, I’m on that track) I would get where he was coming from.

13. VEN- Helena Berg

It’s always the fun roommate with these games, isn’t it?  Anyway, I think it’s cool how Helena gets all chummy with you then turns out to be il Dottore, but in all honesty, it didn’t come as a surprise to me.  It did seem kind of weird that in a game set in Italy, the German is the culprit- I don’t see where they were going with that one.  And that final chase scene on the map was soooooo pointless- it could have tested some actual skill picked up in the game, like dancing in a cat suit.  Nancy and Helena could have had a dance-off, but nooooooo.  Also, the puzzle at the end. No.  Tbh Helena wasn’t that memorable to me, but good for her for having a crime ring, sothereyougo.

12. SPY- Ewan Macleod

Right off the bat- who in their right minds takes a letter a dead woman wrote to her only daughter and takes notes on it???????  That makes Ewan at least five types of rude.  Anyway, I liked how you start the game on his side and he’s all “oh I’m just here to help tell me what you find and we’ll get this together” and at the end it’s like “haha SIKE BITCH I work for the other group”.  That being said, I don’t think Ewan is very high-up in Revenant because Nancy could have easily killed him (though idk if she would kill anyone… that’d be an interesting concept to look into in future games).  Still, I like Ewan as a character and a villain, but maybe that’s because I like SPY so much.  It’s an emotional game- she’s literally looking into the death of her own mother- and while I don’t like parts of it (Nancy was like 3 when her mom died okay not 10 don’t tell me otherwise), I think Ewan was just enough villain for a game so invested in the past.

11. CRY- Renee Amande

One of the few villains that is truly completely off their rocker, I didn’t realize until my second playthrough that Renee probably killed Bruno Bolet with some of that voodoo hoodoo whatever you call it.  I love CRY and it’s ambience, and I think Renee fit right in with the aesthetic.  Also, you can eat all her chocolate and make Nancy hella sick, which is always a plus in my book.  The way I see it, tbh, you can play CRY one of two ways: either you can believe that Renee is completely crazy, or you can suspend your disbelief (which is fun for a few of these games) and believe in this crystal skull magic, which makes Renee far more powerful and terrifying.  Either way, she was willing to lock Nancy in a crypt and throw away the key, so this woman was willing to do whatever it took to get this damn crystal.

And heeeeeeere’s the top 10!

10. SEA- Soren Bergusson

Poor, sad, villainous Soren.  Nobody likes him so he plans to steal some treasure and possibly kill some people in the process.  In all honesty, I liked Soren as a friend and suspect, and I understand why he hates everyone in Skipbrot: they all hated him first just because he grew up a bit out of town.  While I sympathize with him, he was willing to let Nancy and Magnus just kinda die- like I don’t think he really cared what happened to them.  That’s not the way to make friends, Soren!  He had a solid plan going- he essentially let Nancy do all the puzzle-solving and hard work, which kind of happens in every Nancy Drew game when there’s treasure involved.  I really like SEA, even the sideplot about Ned and Nancy (attack me all you want), so I think Soren is an understandable and solid villain.  I especially like how you can choose if he gets a hard punishment or a more gentle one.  Also, is it confirmed that Soren was the cause of that screaming heard in the ice caves?  Does anyone have an explanation for that? Pls let me know k thx.

9. DED- Victor Lossett

Most phone characters stay in the phone, but not this guy.  He feels it necessary to arrive on the scene halfway through gameplay and turn Nancy’s suspicions on their head.  Iconic.  Honestly, Victor had the right idea by subtly hinting that other suspects could be guilty, and I love that HeR made the very guy that hired Nancy be the culprit.  It was a refreshing twist on the games!  Victor straight-up is not against frying Nancy to a crisp at the end there, whereas some villains try to kill her in less painful ways or even just incapacitate her.  While I can’t forgive him for killing Niko Jovic, one of the raddest characters we never get to meet, I applaud his villainous works.  You go, Victor.  You go.

8. DDI- Andy Jason

And here we see another wonderfully-made double persona in the form of Andy.  I’m honestly surprised he didn’t try to kill Nancy on that whale-watching tour, but his front as a marine life geek who yells “Whales rule!” at you is pretty convincing.  I was also impressed at the lengths he went to in order to frame Katie (he even tied her to a chair to make her look evil!!), and his nefarious acts hide as three separate mysteries.  I hope that hit to the head messed with his memory, because he’d definitely come for Nancy if he got out of jail imo.  I like Andy, although he kinda acts like in the end he sold his soul to the devil to run this crime-rig.  Also, he got this orca from the Russian military- I wanted more on that, that’s wicked!  I definitely think DDI happens when HeR is figuring out what makes a good villain, and while they miss the mark in later games, I think this one was pretty appropriate for its time- and I love replaying it, the atmosphere and villain and endless clam chowder really tie together nicely.

7. DOG- Emily Griffin

DOG wasn’t a scary game in the typical sense, because there really weren’t any jump-scares that made you freak, aside from the dogs in the beginning.  However, the ambience made me feel like someone was watching me, and knowing that one of these nice, quirky people was trying to kill me shows the psychological games DOG played.  I really think this was the beginning of HeR unlocking their potential for terrifying sequences, and they begin to show off in later games.  Also, while MHM and TRT had some ambience, this was the first one that really gave me ~vibes~ that added to the game.  FIN and SSH kinda did, but still.  With all of that in mind, Emily is super creepy to me- knowing that she could do all of those things and keep a facade of a chipper shop owner shows how two-faced people can be.  That endgame was so terrifying- how did Nancy manage to get a picture of Emily coming after her with a random-ass bone??  Also, I loved her little cameo in DAN.

6. CAP- Anja Mittelmeier

Alright.  I’m not crazy about CAP, but someone recently pointed out to me that it echoes past games (not sure how, but it makes me want to give it a second look), so I like it well enough.  That being said, I really think Anja is a great villain here.  She poses herself as a “let’s talk about guys and I can give you advice” kind of person, someone Nancy can relate to, especially with her guy troubles in this game.  Not only that, but Anja purposefully piques Nancy’s interest by feigning concern at first, being all “oh, I don’t know if I should tell you this” to make her more interested.  A+ psychology right there.  While I’m not totally sure most people would go to this much trouble over one guy, I applaud Anja’s pettiness and readiness for revenge.  Speaking of which, I have a sneaking suspicion we haven’t seen the last of her.  Her last line was ominous as hell and I loved it.  I’m here for more Anja screentime (gametime? What’s the phrase here?)

5. LIE- Literally everyone in that dang museum

I love Greek mythology, so I have a bone to pick with LIE.  FIRST OFF- there was no Labyrinth in the story of Persephone, y’all are thinking about the fucking Minotaur.  SECOND OFF- that stage made no sense (I made a post about it earlier, salt salt salt).  I’m not gonna spend this time talking about my problems with LIE, so I’ll leave it at those two examples.  Problems aside, I thought having all the suspects be a part of the art theft rig was… kinda cool?  And I like the characters by themselves: Niobe is sweet and unsure about her part in the group, Grigor is a classic narcissistic actor (I can relate to that 100% lol), Thanos is intimidating but under the surface… he’s still intimidating, and Xenia HOLY SHIT.  Like in that last part with the throne in the underworld won me over for her.  She could come to my place of residence and beat me up and I would thank her (honestly same for Thanos too).  I like the mix of less into the crime-y stuff (Niobe and Grigor) to a whole ‘nother level of criminal (Xenia and Thanos).  Also you know Thanos is coming back with the people that helped him escape- I’m looking forward to it.  So, yeah.  Not my favorite game, but I love the villains here, and I think they did a pretty stellar job.

4. SHA- Shorty Thurmond

Listen, I love SHA so much- it was one of the first games I played, the book version will forever hold a place on my bookshelf, and the backstory of Frances and Dirk is iconic in the Nancy Drew world.  So, since I had read the book, I knew that Shorty was the villain from the start of the game, but that didn’t stop me from liking him as a character.  He gossips to invite suspicion about other characters and is generally a hilarious character to talk to.  That makes the endgame so much more dramatic and urgent when he reveals himself as the culprit and actively comes for you.  Also, I will never forgive him for the ENDLESS chores or the “heeeeere’s shorty”.  It might be bias, but I gotta put Shorty high on the list just because I love SHA and his character is no exception.  Excellent planning, quality execution, and he almost got away with it (I mean, all of them almost do).  I kind of wish that it was more like the book tho, because he had a little group working for him and he could imitate animal calls that they used to pull off sabotage- still an excellent villain, but some more book stuff would have been cool too.

3. GTH- Clara Thornton

One of the many reasons I love GTH so much is that there’s no real clear villain.  Sure, you can blame Clara for Charlotte’s death, but after looking into all the rich and subtle history of the Thornton family, I don’t think I want to blame Clara.  And who’s to blame for Jessalyn’ disappearance?  Jessalyn?  But I digress on that point.  Let’s say Clara is the villain- she is a fully-dimensional, multi-faceted character that has as many demons as any other character in this game.  The ending of GTH is one of my favorites because you can choose what happens to the supposed “villain”- she can “disappear” and presumably die, making a full circle from Charlotte’s death, or she can be saved, breaking the vicious Thornton family cycle that took so many ancestors.  I could go on and on about GTH and what it means to me, but I won’t bore you all.  Let me just say: I don’t think there is a real villain in this game, I think the blame can be placed just a little bit on everyone, even Nancy if you’re not careful.  

2. SAW- Rentaro Aihara

First thing, SAW still has me shook to this day- I will not look in a mirror at night because of this game and everyone here knows why.  As if SAW weren’t creepy enough, replaying this gives me even more of the creeps because of Rentaro’s character.  Part of me wants to like him, because he’s socially awkward and gives Nancy puzzles because he knows she likes them, but let’s break this down: he is pushing for Miwako to close her family’s business so she can move with him to the city, which she doesn’t like that much, and after he upsets her to tears, he gives her gifts to make her like him again.  I’m no expert, but that is not what a healthy relationship should look like.  Also, he tries to kill Nancy (more than once if I’m not mistaken), and his only punishment is that Miwako dumps him? Blegh, he’s a creepy guy who tries to scare you away and earn your trust.  Try as I might, I cannot like this guy as a character- though he makes for a great villain.  Rentaro- abusive boyfriend, tries to kill people, doesn’t really get punished for anything- shit, was he actually sorry at the end or was he faking it????? We may never know.

1. CUR- Jane Penvellyn

CUR has a special place in my heart- it gave me legitimate nightmares as a kid and I was scared to finish it for a long time.  I love how there are miniscule clues scattered around the game pointing to Jane- the subplot about her deceased guinea pig proving her dishonesty (and I think the guinea pig might have died from Jane testing either the hair growth or the pills on it, but who knows), and Jane’s dialogue always trying to steer you away from an answer (she’s always like “I don’t want to talk about this” like okay let’s play skull and bones you macabre child).  This is one of my favorite storylines because it’s so well developed and thought-out, and making the child a culprit was such a good move in my opinion.  Jane’s got a bright future if she was clever enough to do all of that on her own.  However, I think Jane should have gotten a punishment more severe than a strict talk from her father- maybe some family therapy or losing her game privileges or something??  She could have really hurt Linda like jesus don’t give people random-ass pills.  Still, brilliant planning and performance on her part, and brilliant writing and execution on HeR’s part.

So there you have it, clue crew! Did I piss anyone off? Was I wrong? Will MID have an amazing villain that questions my tentative order of villains? Will MID ever come out? Let me know!

[esseastri]

Literally everyone: AAHH MASS EFFECT ANDROMEDA!!!! Me, seven years late with starbucks: so, I just finished ME2 and yowza, guys

.

Okay, so some of you might remember that a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (oh shit wrong fandom), I was liveblogging Mass Effect 2. For various personal reasons, I stopped the liveblog some time ago--I jumped ship and liveblogged all three Dragon Age games, and then, when I was meant to pick the ME2 blog back up, some personal shit happened and it was easier for me to just finish the game without the liveblog. I’m sorry if you were looking forward to live Suicide Mission reactions, but I can provide, in bullet point form, a summary of what would have been the end of the liveblog if I’d been able to finish it properly!

(Having now written it up, I guarantee, you’re not missing anything by this not being an immediate liveblog--it is JUST as funny this way, I promise!!)

It did get quite long, so here it is, under the cut:

I successfully scanned/probed every. planet. in the galaxy. I’m not joking. Every single one.

This made for a lot of boring scanning time, but it also revealed a lot of sidequests--all of which I completed. 

This included taking out the entirety of the Blue Suns mercenary operation via fucking up their fake-distress-signal trap and stealing their stolen cargo after killing off several of their captains.

Also I stopped some missiles from crashing into a small colony? I think?

I successfully completed every sidequest that had anything to do with quarians.

Samara’s loyalty mission!

I flirted with her daughter so badly it was embarrassing, but hey, that’s the way to bait serial killers into getting KO’d by their moms, so...

Thane’s loyalty mission:

I’m still genuinely surprised that that security guard honestly believed I was a health inspector are you kidding me I’m fully armed and armored how does this outfit say ‘health inspector’ to you pls I fear for the security of the Citadel

But hey, we stopped the kid from killing anyone, so that’s good.

Also, what is up with my squadies having kids who want to murder people who we have to prevent from murdering people? Guys. This is bad parenting. Pls. 

I scanned some more planets and did a few more sidequests.

Miranda’s loyalty mission:

there was some hinky shit with this whole situation, but it’s Miranda: of course there was hinky shit. But I’m glad her sister was WAY Chiller about the situation than I thought she was going to be.

I AM SAD I MISSED THE PARAGON QUICK-TIME-BUTTON AND MIRANDA MURDERED HER CHILDHOOD BESTIE THAT WAS VERY UPSETTING AND I’M NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE

Jacob’s loyalty mission:

TALK ABOUT HINKY SHIT WITH THE WHOLE SITUATION

tbqh, I’m still not 100% sure what the fuck happened on that mission. I got the toxic food made people wacky, but I’m unclear on the ten-year wait before activating the distress beacon. You cannot have just been chilling like a king while the crew got slowly more poisoned for ten years and been having a good time. Bro, pls.

I’m v glad Jacob was chill with me throwing his dad in jail.

I did some more sidequests. I cannot stress enough how many fuckin sidequests I completed.

LEGION: hoooo boy. 

1. I fucking hate husks and fighting husks and getting swarmed by husks and dying a lot but it’s fine, I’m fine

2. Geth still make me nervous. I understand that there are good geth and bad geth, but I spent waaayyy too long fighting that Colossus on Therum in game 1 to fully be okay with them.

3. Tali’s non-reaction was the most ridiculous and out of character anything in the Bioware universe. There was NO REACTION AT ALL to us activating a geth on board a ship that has an AI installed on it. And no reaction to us recruiting that geth. The only reaction we got--finally, AFTER FINISHING Legion’s mission--was her anger over Legion trying to send info on the Flotilla to the geth. Which, yes, warranted a reaction, but sO DID A LOT OF OTHER STUFF. And the fact that Bioware was too lazy to write Tali some reactions to this geth just chillin’ in our AI Core offends me deeply.

4. Legion’s mission: I really, really didn’t want to do either option, tbh. One felt like genocide and one felt like mind control and I was 100% not there for either of those versions of events. (I eventually decided to blow up the station: see point 2 above.)

The second EDI was like “u should take everyone on the shuttle; the ship will be fine!” I was like, “OH JESUS FUCK NOTHING WILL EVER BE ‘FINE’ AGAIN”

There is nothing--nothing--more #relateable than Joker running through the ship as it’s getting attacked by Collectors and just repeating “shitshitshitshitshit” for the entire time. 

It was about this time that I realized the next THING was the Omega-4 Relay and I had to do some googling. Did you know that the Mass Effect Wikia is 100% Useless when it comes to figuring out how to get through the Suicide Mission without getting anyone killed?

I spent a lot of time being TERRIFIED that I’d somehow missed a ship upgrade, even though there was no possible way for me to have missed a ship upgrade.

GARRUS AND I FINALLY DID THE DO. THERE WERE CANON FOREHEAD TOUCHES. HE WAS A NERD. IT WAS SO FUCKIN CUTE I DIED. IT WAS SO CUTE.

The fight with the Oracle in the basement was waaayy chiller than I thought it was going to be, and my sister, from across the room, just laughed and reminded me that I was playing on Casual mode.

The briefing room scene: 

Miranda: “We’re going to have to split up into several groups.”

Me: “Worst. Idea. Ever.”

Miranda: “You have to pick someone to go in the vents. I volunteer!”

Jacob: “I also volunteer!” 

Me: “Ahh, thanks, but I’ma send Legion, ‘cause Legion is the best tech guy we could possibly ever have? Considering it IS...tech?”

Miranda: “Ugh, fine. Pick someone to lead the second squad. Again, I volunteer.”

Me: “That’s nice. Hey Garrus, darling--meet me at that fucking door, and you better be alive, babe.”

Garrus: “Sure thing, babe.”

Miranda: “Uuughhh, at least we know he knows what he’s doing. Fine.”

SO WE SET OFF INTO THE COLLECTOR BASE, SPLIT UP INTO SEVERAL GROUPS, AND I ALMOST HYPERVENTILATED OUT OF NERVES AND MADE MYSELF COUGH.

I got Legion through the vents without it melting.

I spent a lot of time reminding myself that if you murder all the collector drones before you kill Harbinger, then you only have to kill Harbinger once, as opposed to once for every drone in the room.

There was a terrifying moment at the first locked door, when I was very certain we were all going to die.

No one died.

I WAS REALLY WORRIED THE CREW HAD BEEN LIQUEFIED BUT THEY WEREN’T, I SAVED THEM ALL! IT WAS AMAZING!

Also, the liquefying was suuppper gross and unnecessary, thanks Bioware.

The First Regrouping scene:

EDI: “Sorry, guys, but you need to go through that hallway full of seeker swarms, good fucking luck.”

Samara: “I could probably make a biotic barrier and keep them off us? It’ll be slow, but I can do it.” Miranda: “SO COULD I. Any biotic could do it! I VOLUNTEER!”

Me: “Uh, it was Samara’s idea, soooo...she’s gonna do it.”

Miranda: “FIIIINNE. Someone has to be a distraction and go the other way, though. I fucking volunteer, goddamit, Shep, just let me do my fucking job.” 

Me: “Garrus. Darling. Babe. Be safe.”

Garrus: “Sure thing, babe.”

Miranda: “I’m. going. to. stab. you.” Doctor Chakwas: “Can someone get us back to the ship? We’re all in really bad shape.” Miranda: “We do not have people to spare, sorry.” Me: “Hey, Mordin, I love you, but you are not extra great in combat. Want to escort mission this shit?” Mordin: “Good idea. Joker: need coordinates for pick up.” Miranda: “GOOD. LET’S GO. WE’VE GOT SHIT TO KILL. COME ON.”

At this point, I did feel a little bad for Miranda, but listen: I googled who was best for what, okay. Everyone had to live, okay.

We hiked it through the seeker swarm hallway and it was actually a really cool mechanic! I was impressed!

Thane kept getting into cover outside the protective bubble though, ‘cause he’s a doofus, and Tali and I were just like “pls, son, get inside and stay alive, we can’t take all these collectors just the two of us. I mean, we can, but it’ll go much faster with you helping. get inside the bubble. pls.”

I legitimately thought Samara was going to die of exhaustion before we reached the door. I assume that if she’s not Loyal, she might die there? But everyone was super loyal so it was fine, but I WAS WORRIED.

I had a heart attack when Garrus called for help and we had to bust down the door and save him and the other squad and I WAS SO WOORRRIIEEDD

AND THEN IT LOOKED LIKE HE GOT SHOT IN THE STOMACH AND I LITERALLY SCREAMED I WAS SO TERRIFIED BUT HE WAS FINE AND IT WAS FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE

It didn’t happen, because the game doesn’t support public displays of affection, but if you think that Gen didn’t grab Garrus’ face and kiss the fuck out of him once she’d decided he was alive and not shot, then you and I are not watching the same show.

So, after the traumatized, mid-battle kiss: 

The amount to which I wanted a v small, v scared scene in which Shep got to say a non-goodbye to the LI she is leaving to cover the door as she goes on ahead is astronomical, but the game did not provide, so I’m just going to have to fanfic the shit out of this.

The fucking human-reaper-larva was NASTY AF and I took half a look at it and went “NOPE, I’MA TAKE MY GLASSES OFF AND DO THIS FIGHT BLIND”

my sister laughed at me

I realized after two seconds that that wasn’t going to work ‘cause I couldn’t see the adds, and I had to murder them, too, sooo I put my glasses back on, and it was AWFUL

The “shoot the canisters” part of the fight was SOOOO easy, I was v concerned that I’d messed something up because it was so simple? Just waves of collectors? and then it just FALLS? I was Suspicious.

The Illusive Man chimed in with a “haven’t you people ever heard of working toward goddamned human supremacy” and wanted me to SAVE??? the collector base???? for “““RESEARCH”““???

So I said, “yeah, that’s fucking dumb, we’re not going to do that” and set the place to blow the fuck up

AND THEN I HAD TO FIGHT THE FUCKING TERRIFYING HUMAN REAPER THING AND IT WAS GROSS AND DIFFICULT BUT I WON IT WAS GR9 I DIDN’T EVEN DIE ONCE!!! OR RUN OUT OF AMMO!! IT WAS AMAZING! A MIRACLE!

So then everything blew up and THE PLATFORM STARTED FALLING AND I 100% FOR SURE THOUGHT TALI WAS DEAD

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TERRIFIED I WAS

I STARTED CRYING IMMEDIATELY AND THEN SHEP GRABBED HER HAND AND THEN LOST HER GRIP AND THEN THEY LANDED AND THERE WAS A GIANT BEAM ON TOP OF TALI AND I LEGIT STOPPED BREATHING

I STARTED COUGHING BECAUSE I WAS SO UPSET I STRESSED MYSELF INTO A COUGHING FIT IT WAS AWFUL I WAS CRYING AND MY SISTER WAS JUST LIKE “she’s Loyal, you’re fine, she’s fine” and I continued to freak out until she stood up and it was terrifying.

I then told the Illusive Man to fuck right off, stole the Normandy, and got my peeps together to murder some Reapers.

and BOY HOWDY THAT WAS A LOT OF REAPERS LIKE #YIKES???

SO That was the end of ME2!

A brief review: I liked bits of it, and viscerally hated other bits, tbh. I’m still not a fan of the mechanics, but once I figured out which guns to use against which enemies, things did get slightly better. I still hate the very idea of the Collectors--no one needs bug aliens who kidnap and liquefy people, I mean COME ON--but there was some cool stuff with that plotline as a whole. Also, I hate Cerberus, and I wish the game had let me more explicitly publicly pronounce myself as working WITH them out of desperation as opposed to FOR them because we believed in the same things.

Listen, Evil Martin Sheen, you underestimate how much I LOVE ALIENS and how little I care for the human race. So,

anyway

overall: not bad. Looking forward to the third one much more than I expected, tbqh, and that should be starting soon! I do plan to get back into the liveblogging swing of things, but that one WILL be over on the liveblog blog, found here. I’m hoping to start sometime next week, if not before then, as I’d really like to get to Andromeda before I have to fight the internet over spoilers. So, yeah! Thanks for putting up with this liveblog dying and being resurrected in this truncated form. I hope to see you on the liveblog blog for #Megan plays ME3 SOON! :D

[survivor-hosts]

Ep. #1: “Back Into the Groove of Things” - Scott

The cast was announced and both tribes started calls in their tribe chats.  Some early alliances started based on past relationships.  The first twist was that the tribes had to elect a Tribe Captain.  Regan took charge on Naicha demanding she be captain.  On Jinsei, they strategized about it for hours with Lydia using Sam and Scott to help make her Tribe Captain.  The first challenge was Winterbells and MJ lead Naicha to a hefty win.  After losing, The Alliance of Sam, Scott, and Lydia (The Three Muskequeers) tried to decide whether to vote out Austin or Catherine.  They decided to go with Cat due to her poor challenge performance and her connections on the other tribe. Connah figured it was him who was going home and ultimately self voted.

Tbh I’m really bored so I’m gonna make a pre-game confessional before the game starts. I really am excited to be back and playing my official last season of Tumblr Survivor (and ORG) ever. I want more than anything for this season to end on a good note, so I plan on giving it my all and hoping for the best. I think the timing for me to come back is especially perfect, mainly because in the past my personal life was mixing in with the ORGs and it got to the point where I had a big mental breakdown in front of the family dinner table. That’s why I took a break; I just had so much going on personally that I had to stop using ORGs as an escape from my problems and actually face them. It’s been about a year and a half since I was involved with ORGS and I’m really happy with the person that I am today and to say that I resolved most of my personal dilemmas that I had. There’s been so many seasons that I was considered for since Ancient Greece, but honestly the timing in my personal life didn’t work out and I would drop out in order to take care of myself (Easter Island, Sri Lanka, Generations [not 100% sure about this one], India, and Solomon Islands). This time the only conflict I may have is that I work night shift some nights, but lately I’ve been scheduled on day shifts so hopefully it stays like that so it doesn’t interfere with challenges and the game itself. But honestly I think I can work around it game wise plus many people talk during the day and late at night so it can benefit me. This season is actually really scary for me going into it mainly because I don’t know who to really expect. It’s an all-host season, so obviously it’s going to be all retuning players but I really haven’t been involved with this community in a long time. I could see a lot of familiar faces, or I could see a lot of newbies from the seasons I didn’t follow. I think I’m honestly going to be such a huge target coming back into the game. I say this mainly because lately I’ve noticed there’s a trend where guys who disappear for a long time and come back will end up winning (Jake B, Simon, Tommy, Stoner, and  Mitchell to name a few). So to be coming back after two years could put me in danger and others may see me as a threat, which is why I need to be extremely cautious. Plus I personally have a huge reputation that I refuse to destroy. Every time I’ve played I’ve never been pre-merge/pre-jury, and I don’t want to know what that feels like. Plus I haven’t played Tumblr Survivor in 2 years, and I know a lot has changed when it comes to the game format. Hopefully I can adapt to it quickly and be conscious the entire time. I’ve only spoken to like maybe 6 people from the community after Malaysia ended. I don’t really have anyone to possibly pregame an alliance with. The only reason why I applied is because Regan convinced me to and I spoke to Trevor about it to make sure it was legit. I know she applied, but if she’s cast I don’t think it would be in my best interest to keep her around (I’m sorry Regan I love you). I just feel like everyone would know how close we are and it would put a huge target on my back, or make it bigger along with everything else. I haven’t spoken to her about possibly being on this season, and I plan on keeping it that way. But other than her, I don’t know anyone who could possibly be on this season which could be a good thing or a bad thing for me. Good thing is that I’m a single person and if there’s a big group/pre-game then I can be a part of a group to go against the pre-game. However, if people are like “let’s go with the pre-game group over the individuals” than I could be screwed early on in the game and possibly be the first boot. Honestly my biggest fear is just being pre-merge and doing worse than ever in my Tumblr survivor career. Idk, maybe things can all work out for the best for me, I’m remaining optimistic about all of this and I really can’t wait to get back into the groove of things.

i literally wrote the saltiest jury speech ever towards lydia when we were in riau together and now she is on my tribe fjdkafjdskalfjkldjafdfs. we got along well enough in riau and in hindsight i definitely was way too salty towards her but hopefully no bad blood carries over from riau into this game.

Can't wait to be first boot

[2017-06-07 8:34:48 PM] Jessy: first impression? josh icon [2017-06-07 8:34:56 PM] Jessy: i feel like he's the only person getting invested in my convo. [2017-06-07 8:34:57 PM] Jessy: SKLJSLSJK [2017-06-07 8:35:17 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Am I gonna have to copy all this into a confessional or will you write one later :p [2017-06-07 8:35:23 PM] Jessy: i'll write one later [2017-06-07 8:36:04 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Thank you !

HI Trevor. It's your fave mom, Sam McCanada. Look at my son doing his momma proud 

i am god awful at winterbells.  i am god awful at every single flash game. this will be fun. the first night is always weird because i keep having tons of tiny conversations and they're all just small talk. everyone knows that these conversations are just small talk at the beginning of the game and yet we have these conversations anyway, fully well knowing that they mean almost nothing at this point. i feel like ive been out of the tumblr survivor community for so long that i am so disconnected from everyone here, and that immediately makes me feel like im in trouble. they all know each other so well, and while i know almost everyone here on a very basic level, i'm not particularly close with anyone here. ive played with a few people here before. in riau i essentially yelled at lydia in my jury speech and then proceeded to not vote for her in FTC. the one and only time i played with andrew, i voted him out. i'd like to think that feelings from previous games dont carry over, but i know that they do for some people. i don't know. i dont feel safe. 

why is connor so impulsive? i love the kid but 5 minutes into the game i'm already in an alliance with him and drew when drew and i haven't even talked yet sjhfsdkjfa. More detailed confessional later~

[2017-06-07 9:11:49 PM] Jessy: NO ONE IS talking to me. [2017-06-07 9:11:52 PM] Jessy: Can't wait to be on the bottom [2017-06-07 9:43:24 PM] Jessy: i like josh.. [2017-06-07 9:43:30 PM] Jessy: regan rlly tried me.. [2017-06-07 9:43:35 PM] Jessy: mj is a snake... [2017-06-07 9:43:38 PM] Jessy: matt is a snake... [2017-06-07 9:43:52 PM] Jessy: connor seems like a person who's gna be in a good position... [2017-06-07 9:44:08 PM] Jessy: allison and i idk her yet that well [2017-06-07 9:44:18 PM] Jessy: drew idk her yet that well [2017-06-07 9:44:18 PM] Jessy: KLSSJKL [2017-06-07 9:44:20 PM] Jessy: *him. [2017-06-07 9:44:31 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Lol [2017-06-08 1:26:44 PM] Jessy: i just wanna make an alliance that can watch shit on rabbit and have a fun time. [2017-06-08 2:35:32 PM] Jessy: regan wants a girls alliance [2017-06-08 2:35:34 PM] Jessy: BKLMSLKMFSDKLM [2017-06-08 2:38:45 PM] Jessy: its a concept yeah. [2017-06-08 2:57:07 PM] Jessy: im just tryna be utr. [2017-06-08 2:57:14 PM] Jessy: wide the waves. [2017-06-08 2:57:23 PM] Jessy: find my crew and watch tv shows on rabbit. [2017-06-08 2:57:48 PM] Jessy: mi opciones es no grande :/

Hey I'm back who wants to see me get 12th again??????? Or worse. BUT YEAH. I'M FUCKING BACK IN A MAIN SEASON YA'LL. Third times the charm I guess, but honestly I'm so scared. Pumped, but scared. This is - like I said - third time playing, and my first 2 times I got 12th. So fuck me in the ass amirite? Like, if I get 12th or worse I'll probably casually go into a major depressive episode for a little bit. So I have a LOT riding on these first impressions. First impressions are everything, and I don't really know these people very well? So it is VITAL to me if I even want to have a game in this mess to have a good social game right off the bat. And everyone seems cool at the moment? I'm just nervous about preexisting relationships and all that jazz and mumbo jumbo. I mean, I am the newest person on the tribe I think in terms of how long I've been here? In fact, I think only person younger to the community in this game than me is Connor Wubbenndjfm on the other tribe. Preexisting relationships are just scary. Like, I was on the call tonight with a few of the people. And they were all nice! But I kinda felt like a high schooler volunteering at an old person's home. ASDFGHJK I'm SORRY OKAY it's just that literally everyone was sharing war stories of like 2 plus years ago and I've been here for a year and a half so. Not a lot I could have contributed! But like I said, everyone seems cool. For not at least. And that's what I like. Keep the discourse at a minimum for the time being please! But yeah I guess if I had to give a quick opinion on everyone just from tonight: Scott: Super cool! Very easy to talk to. Bonded over our love for Isaac McDicksucc. I'm hoping he's not just doing some "be this social to everyone thing" and actually found a better-than-average connection with me because if so, I would like to work with him. David Robb: Person I actually know! Hosted me in TAR and shit and I've voted him out of a side. But I'm hoping we can work together? At least for now. I know I'm gonna sound hypocritical, but I feel like this is the only preexisting relationship I might need. I probably know the least amount of people here so gimme a break okay? Bitches... Sam McCanada: Cool girl! Remembered watching her host Transylvania. Know she's done super good and has slayed in CYS which is super threatening because I've heard that's a hard as ORG. If she tries to be the controlling type then it'd be best to be with her as opposed to against her - at least for premerge. Connah: He seems chill. He was on the call but didn't talk much and we kinda talked RRN. I know he's close to Lydia and MJ so I gotta watch out for that. If we go to tribal first I would go for him or Lydia only if someone voiced wanting to break up potential alliances first. Other than that I wanna keep my head down. Lydia: Same alliance type deal word vomit thing I just said above. But she seemed nice even though I only talked to her for a little. I'll try talking to her more tomorrow to feel things out. Austin: GOOD. BYE. I do NOT want to play with Austin Trevino. No sir. Goodbye Spongebob goodbye goodbye. Like he's a damn mess to play with and to watch play. He quit a side premerge the second things weren't going his way. And I know he's gonna try kissing my ass and kiss up to everyone and think he has this AMAZING social game. Like... no... sweety... no. But ya know what? Seemingly easy first boot cannon fodder. If need be. Catherine: Yay! Honestly love Cat. She won my first ever ORG (a side) a year and a half ago and I got 6/24 there so I spent a lot of time with her there. But then she kinda died? But now she's back! Out of herself, Austin, and Lydia - she didn't have an excuse for not being around. Idk how social she'll be but I wanna at least have her for myself. Okay whew. Other than all this nonsensical shit I just typed above, there's the other tribe which I can go more in depth about a little later once I sleep and process everything. Drew? Love him but farewell. Regan? Other tribe's Austin. Matt fucking Summers? I gtg suddenly. MJ? Could kill me but I wanna kill him first. Allison? My mom and one of my best friends but tbh this isn't Pacific Islands and I'll vote her out if I have to. Etc. Etc. There was Conner Wubben who's cool but I don't really know. 2 others I can't remember right now asdfghj oops. Oh we also have a challenge and I suck at desktop Winterbells so there's that too. If we coulda used the mobile app well :~) that woulda been fun. But Trevor apparently hates fun and friendship. Oh yeah and fuck this twist. It's 2:30 am and I'm tired and I'll talk more in a video confessional tomorrow so gnight and wish my flop ass luck because I'll need a little if I wanna get past that 12th placement hehe. *Takes a shot or 4*

I'm back for my 3rd go, and I feel as though I have a lot to prove not only to myself but to the community as well. It's been well over a year since I last played Tumblr Survivor, and I do think I've grown a lot as a game player. Coming into this season, I felt flattered by the shape and size this cast has been brought about. I'm standing here with castaways from All-Stars, multiple winners, and well-known players all in the same season. To me, this is both a curse and a blessing. A blessing because I'm the unknown of this season. The wildcard if that. I'm here coming off a mess that I played in Bhutan, and a lackluster performance in R&R. Not many people know my gameplay or how I evolved into what has become my playstyle. A lot of these players are "Old School" (characterized by the grouping from Generations), and I'm not well known inside the community. The curse for me this season comes with the realization of outside bonds formed from the casts' older seasons. These people know each other. They know how they play, and in order for me to win with the likes of Summers and MJ playing then I'm going to need to play to the absolute best of my ability. I need to play a game that is true to myself that can only represent why I, Austin Trevino, am the best possible outcome for a winner this season. Something I know I'm weak on is my social gameplay. For me, this season, I need to overhaul my playstyle to focus my strategic game SOLEY on my social gameplay. Play smart, not hard. I need to realize that I'm in this for 39 days, and not just round by round. My physical gameplay is lackluster at that, so I need to be able to make up for it by spreading awareness to my tribemates as to why I am an ideal candidate in benefiting their game. In doing so, I've already worked to the best of my ability to find 1 thing I can use as a reminder that I'm not some "nobody" they've never met before. So far I've reached out to the entire tribe and connected with each of them on the following: Andrew - We played Comoros together. I've also been talking to him about some Solomon reps for Cutthroat, but he is someone I genuinely like. I need to go deeper in getting to know HIM as a person, but I do believe he is someone I would like to work with in the future. Him and I are both pre-merge flops, so I do think we can see eye-to-eye in allowing ourselves that window of opportunity to take over. Scott - Scott is nice, supportive, and relatable. He is someone that is coming back into these ORGs for the first time in a long while, and I do think I can relate to him in the fact that this is something we haven't done in a while. He's going back to school to major in psychology because he wants to become a school psychologist. I've taken AP Psych in high school (LOL), so I do see myself working a friendship over with him through various small talks which could transform into something larger. Lydia - Lydia doesn't remember this all too well, but we played Storybook: Neverland together. She knows how willing I was to give my game for her and be loyal, so I do think she is someone that would gladly look to keep me. I reminded her of all this when I brought up voting out Jordan Pines on Jordan Pines Day. She's smart, and no one can deny that. Her placements are BY FAR the best average placements in this entire cast. It's threatening to see her on this season, but it's comforting to know that I can bring up a fond moment from a past game in order to share my expression of loyalty towards a person. David - David and the entire cast of BBHell2 hated my gameplay. That was 2 years ago, however. David knows and called me out on my horrific social gameplay in jury, so I need to prove to David that my social gameplay isn't an issue anymore. To start, I brought up some things about David's job as a cashier and found a way to relate to his job with mine (I'm a cashier as well). I think it really shows a lot when, after 2 years, you can remember something about someone even when they criticized your social gameplay. (See, I do listen to people >.>). I like David. Connah - Literally he was my host for R&R, so I immediately had something to open up with. I didn't last long in R&R, so the window of opportunity is wide open when it comes to establishing something. Cat - OK LITERALLY I LOVE HER, JOSH, AND CONNOR (who are all in this game and I need to immediately make a mental note that they're a trio in my books), BECAUSE THEY ALL HOSTED ME IN PERU AND THAT SEASON SUCKED BUT THEY WERE LIT. Cat hasn't been around all that much for me to talk to (or maybe I'm being ignored?), but I do hope to connect with her again by bringing up Peru and some friends we do have in common. Sam - Sam I've probably spoken to the most. She's "fresh" off of an Okinawa victory, and I do see myself trusting her. I voted for her as tribe captain and I would definitely like to see her place some level of trust in me. I just find it easier to talk to her over most others. I like Sam. This season I need to prove to myself that I can outlast the 3rd tribal council. Both seasons I've played have seen me voted out then. I can't OVERPLAY. Building relationships is what matters most here. As for the twist(s) of the season, I do think it's bittersweet. Trevor has turned this into a hunger games for Hosts. We created our own Weapons of Murder. I don't see this turning into a Redemption Island season with a cast of 16, so I do think this season is going to be idol heavy in terms of the various idols. Most of these hosts have held their unique idol twists, so when idol searching does come about, I need to be on the lookout for anything and everything imaginable.

im in a super weird position here because im super close with connor and josh on the other tribe. the thing that makes it an awkward position is that EVERYONE knows how close we are. we started our own survivor platform together and we're currently on the hosting chart for another main season. connor, josh, and i literally hosted austin in a season together. i definitely know that i'm a target because of this. the votes for tribe captain are due in 15 minutes and no one has talked to me about it. im just going to vote for some random person and hope that its with the majority, however i (ONCE AGAIN) dont feel safe.

i'm trying to stay on the down low but i don't know if that's helping me or hurting me. on the one hand, it helps because it keeps me out of the spotlight a bit. but on the other, it might hurt because i might not be bonding with people as much as i could be. fjdksaljfdsaklj i dont know what's happening

i love jake gyllenhaal

So, things are going kind of well, I think. First off, Josh and I are together, which is great, but Cat is alone on blue. Frankly, out of the three of us, Cat being alone was worse case scenario. I knew if I was alone that I would have been able to finagle my way into things and build relationships because the game I play is very social. Cat says that talking to people is a chore. So.... rip cat? I know Drew and Josh very well going into this game, MJ fairly well as he hosted me in RnR and Palawan, and Regan was technically in RnR with me and we played a storybook season together. Im also fairly good friends with Matt, so I definitly think there is room for me to pull some strings and get some control over this mess before it turns around too quick and gets me. Regan being tribe leader is good for me I think. She's very easily influenced, or she has been in the past, and I think she will be good for my game as long as she doesn't pull a Regan and do something crazy. And lets be real, we all know she will. Drew, Josh, and I do have an alliance, although there has been little to no talk in that chat. Rip. Also, Drew probably knows that if it were a f2 and it came down to the three of us, Josh and I would choose each other, so I need to do some work there to make him feel more comfortable in that three than he is now. I love Allison. Day 1 there was a tribe call and it ended up just being the two of us, and we watched a performance of Hamilton we did for show choir, and she is SO fun. I like her A LOT. Jessy? I like because she likes my dog. That's really all I have to say about her right now, yikes.

Me, looking at the wiki for the first time since premiere night: who the FUCK is Jessy???????

Well I’m really bored right now waiting for a call to happen so I better start one of these. I’m really happy to be back here and I like the tribe. Sam and I spoke on the first minute of the game and reconnected due to previous relationship. I like her and definitely want to work far. I don’t think it’s in my best interest to go all the way with her but I think it’s a smart idea to keep her around for the current moment. She wanted to make an alliance between Lydia and us and I was okay because I find Lydia to be quite comical. We spoke on who could possibly be the tribe captain and Lydia agreed she would. I think working with Sam and Lydia short term is ideal mainly because they both have gone far in multiple seasons and know how to do it, so sticking with them can benefit me significantly. I consider them to be my #1 alliance for now just because I usually respect the first alliance I ever make. I also have a good relationship with Andrew. The two of us talked and agreed we would work together. I want him to do well in this game just because he’s never made merge (and I think hes really cute rip) and I think he would be someone to benefit me as an easy #1 ally. I’m not sure what long term plans are but all I know is I want him around and I will riot to whomever to ensure he stays. David I like as well. We both spoke and agreed we don’t want the other to be the first boot. Sam and Lydia seem to really like him so we know he can be the easy #4 to our alliance. The only people I’m not really aligned with so far are Austin, Catherine, and Connor, and ideally I want one of the three to be the first boot when we lose because MJ is too good at winterbells for us to possibly win. Austin kinda annoys me so far just because he reaches out to me every single day. And like I know hes been doing the same to others just by communicating with them and I find that to be messy. Like its one thing to talk to people once in a while, but to do so every day like that is a bit sketchy. And like he hasn’t even talked game with me, it’s all just personal talk. Which is nice, but I don’t want to be the first to talk game with everyone because it makes me a threat. Catherine I only spoke to once because I messaged her. We talked about her flopping in Galapagos. I know she has a relationship with Josh so she could be an easy boot, but at the same time that connection could help long term. As for Connor, I personally think he shouldn’t be here.  He’s going through a lot personally losing someone close to him and I think he should take time off to grieve and stuff. But I can’t make that decision for him. Other than that, he hasn’t reached out to me so idk how to feel about him. A plus to aligning with Sam and Lydia so early on is that Lydia gave me the idol map for being the captain. I felt obligated to share it with them because I couldn’t lie and be like “Oh Lydia gave me this” early on. So now we’re all hunting for the idol. During this idol hunt I found the Amulet of Abduction. I plan on keeping this for the swap, that way if im in the minority I can get an alliance member over to my side and either screw their game over or regain majority on my tribe. But the Amulet stays to myself for now. And because we lost immunity, I gotta discuss the vote. So far I am loyal to Lydia and Sam, and I can get Andrew to do whatever Lydia, Sam, and I want to do. And they like David so I’m sure I can convince them to vote out one of the three ppl I haven’t spoken to. But yeah, I’ll update this later tonight cause I can’t flop playing for my first time in two years. It’s game on bitches, and I’m ready to play.

literally no one talks in this game and im so annoyed cause we lost the challenge and these people are acting like nothing even happened... oh well, hopefully i dont become the first boot cause my paranoia is getting me. like its really odd that no one is talking. in Ancient Greece no one really spoke to me, and i found out i was in the minority after that season ended. The only reason why i got far was because we ended up not losing challenges until swap and we just lost our first challenge so i hope it isnt me. i can't varner my ass out of this game cause its been 2 years and i just wanna play but no one wants to play which sucks!!!

So I'm gay and this tribe is a bunch of mutes. Basically I was on a call with Scott that ended up being 2 and a half hours? And now we're supposedly closest allies. Which is fun! Scott is really cool and I really AM hoping I'm his closest ally and he's not just pulling generic social game bullshit. But we also talked about the vote and he said Austin's name first. Not me! So I really want Austin to go home because he's a shady fuck. Like... Okay so he keeps talking about all of this shit that comes off as so fake. He says we have to break our curses and I'm like what's this "we" you heterosexual potato. Like he ain't good at these games and if he stays over me? I riot the streets. So yeah I talked to Sam a bit too and she - like Scott - told me I'm the person she's talking to the most. Which! Might be a lie. But ya know what I'll run with it. I'm also making a point to talk to Cat on the side because I love Cat and if she's not being super social then I wanna make a point to talk to her. My talks with David and Lydia are kinda spotty, and then I don't talk to Connor much. But he is going through some personal things right now and I hope he's okay so I'll obviously let him deal with that. Personal things prioritize these games for sure. TL;DR - I want to kick Austin's ass back to str8 lakes where it belongs. Just as long as I'm not the person bringing up his name first :~)

[2017-06-08 6:37:55 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: What is happening [2017-06-08 6:38:04 PM] Jessy: LITERALLY NOTHING WHICH IS WHY I'M SHOOK!! [2017-06-08 6:38:21 PM] Jessy: matt and i had a convo and he told me about regan giving him the advantage [2017-06-08 6:38:25 PM] Jessy: and i lied and acted like she didnt give it to me either [2017-06-08 6:38:32 PM] Jessy: and now im scared regan told him i got it too [2017-06-08 6:38:37 PM] Jessy: [6:02:22 PM] Jessy: hi [6:02:25 PM] Jessy: matt told me that [6:02:35 PM] Jessy: you gave him an advantage LKJBLKMASDLFKM and he shared the clue with me [6:02:41 PM] Jessy: i dont think he told anyone else tho so its not a big deal but [6:02:51 PM] Jessy: i want him to propose a f3 to u tonight w us [6:31:05 PM] Regan: Omg [6:31:10 PM] Regan: He said he guessed r [6:31:12 PM] Regan: And got it wrong [6:31:31 PM] Jessy: same [6:31:32 PM] Jessy: KLJSJKLS [6:31:45 PM] Jessy: can we pls f3 tbh [6:32:36 PM] Jessy: he doesnt know that i got the clues too right [6:32:36 PM] Jessy: SKLJSJKL [2017-06-08 6:38:59 PM] Jessy: i saw her go away and online within a min [2017-06-08 6:39:01 PM] Jessy: SO LIKE IM SHOOK SIS REPLY! [2017-06-08 6:39:15 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: I love receipts [2017-06-08 6:39:39 PM] Jessy: if nothing is actually happening this is proof of my paranoia [2017-06-08 6:39:40 PM] Jessy: LSKJKLSJ

they're gonna vote me out first and it's so extremely obvious. how are these people considered all stars of the game when they make it so ridiculously obvious who they're voting for???

[2017-06-10 1:55:26 AM] Jessy: btw mj will be first boot on this tribe [2017-06-10 1:55:27 AM] Jessy: know tht [2017-06-10 1:55:52 AM] Jessy: im not letting mj connor josh catherine go far. [2017-06-10 1:56:23 AM] Jessy: oh nd lydia [2017-06-10 2:34:50 AM] Jessy: r u gna make an edgic [2017-06-10 2:35:56 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: I am, yes [2017-06-10 2:38:14 AM] Jessy: when im ottn>

Ok, so I think I proved my social game to be effective. This tribe is VERY quiet. No one is talking, and if they are it's very forced. Lydia kind of baited me into giving a name, but with that came no repercussions. Honestly, me name dropping Cat has spiraled into a FAST frenzy of game talk. It seems like Lydia spread it quick, so I do know now that she's taking full advantage of the trust our tribe has in her. David pointed out that he heard a Connah name drop, but I haven't heard that? I don't know if Lydia gave him that name or if someone else did, but I do enjoy knowing that there are 2 people my tribe sees as disposable over me. It's kind of nice not having to work my ass off to keep my name out of others' mouths. The social game isn't all that bad.

Fuck MJ and winterbells

So update after the first late night fiasco Lydia, Sam, and I agreed on Catherine as a target. I was okay with this just because she really hasn't approached me (or anyone) and hasn't made an effort to really want to play this game. We only spoke once (I reached out to her) and all we spoke about was how she flopped at Galapagos. Oh well, hopefully she actually goes tonight. As for how this game is going, I think I am in a good position. I think one thing I need to watch out for is how close David and Sam are. I need to keep Andrew close to me, and I think he is going to be a huge help to me. So far he's been trusting in informing me on whats going on. I am worried since Sam and Lydia contemplated sending him home first. Now as awful as this may sound, I think its best for my game to keep Austin close to me too. Even though I see him doing lots of damage since hes kinda on the outs, keeping him close to me and making him think he controls me is ideal for me. Just as long as he doesn't catch on to this all should be good... right? I'm definitely not as worried about the vote, however I think I need to try and get a sub-group going with people that aren't Sam and Lydia so that way if they become a sinking ship I have other lifeboats getting me out of heavy waters. I want to solidify something with David and Andrew, but part of me worries he will tell Sam and she'll think I'm trying to go against (plz say this in her Canadian accent) her. I think I can do well this season, just gotta hope someone's dumb twist doesn't screw me over

I'm stress eating Dairy Queen and I guess the vote is Cat idk why it wasn't Austin but whatever I just don't want it to be me thank you and goodnight

Catherine and Connor never spoke to me about the vote and the vibe at camp is really sketchy so if i leave tonght rip me... but i had a good time and it was fun. Hopefully this isn't my last confessional

[2017-06-10 6:17:56 PM] Jessy: dw im gna send the most iconic conf ever! [2017-06-10 9:11:40 PM] Jessy: oh fuck i need to write it [2017-06-10 9:11:40 PM] Jessy: KLBVKLMSADFMKLDS [2017-06-10 9:11:52 PM] Jessy: if i submit it and someone already left can it still be counted for ep 1 [2017-06-10 9:16:34 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Submit it quick :|