#team boss tapping your rear end

[slowestlap]

Max Verstappen Can't Avoid The 🍩s Feat. Mad Mike [x]

[mrs-weasley-reid]

SUIT JACKET

Aaron Hotchner x bau!reader ↳ part 2 here

Sypnosis: Aaron Hotchner seems to love his suit jacket on you. WARNING: nothing besides a few curses (I think) A/N: not my gif, ctto! This was also sitting on my drafts for almost a year and barely proofread, so I apologize for the errors.

Sunday, March 11, 2:04 AM

"Thanks, unibrow." You grinned drunkenly, smiling at your boss, SSA Aaron Hotchner, as you collapsed in the cab's backseat. His suit jacket kept you cozy and covered like a cocoon while you comfortably giggled at the applied inside joke of his new nickname.

With Penelope's constant peer pressure, your inhibition has reached rock bottom eleven shots, five cocktails, and two whiskey glasses ago. You downed liquor like water, easing your stiff shoulders.

Aaron only stared at you with the same impassive face he had and shut the door before the cold caught you. He hunched in front of the driver's window, "This woman is a federal agent, and if something happens to her, I'll hunt you down. Please, drive her home safely." He straightened back up, casually tapping the vehicle's roof.

The cab took you away only after Aaron snapped a picture of the cab's plate number. He sighed as the vehicle slowly disappeared from his line of sight. He twisted on the balls of his feet, met by his other children, agents drunkenly calling his name.

Tuesday, March 27, 10:14 AM

You scurried out of the elevator, weaving through the sea of agents in the bullpen and then to the conference room where everybody was already settled in.

"So sorry! There was this son of a b—" You closed your eyes and breathed deeply, clenching your fists. Then, you exhaled profoundly with a calm smile at the end. "I got in a car accident. Go on, Pen. Sorry for interrupting." You took a seat between Aaron and JJ.

JJ turned to you, "Are you okay?" Her hand gently landed on one of yours, giving you a worried squeeze.

You gathered a smile and raised a thumb, "Thick skull and strong bones. Nothing can break me, not even this unsub... whoa—" Your eyes widened a bit.

How ironic for your case to be about an unsub who performed a craniotomy on the victims. You smiled awkwardly, the similar tight-lipped smile that Spencer would always plaster on his face.

The other agents coughed a chuckle at your reaction while Penelope continued the debrief with the same horrified look.

Upon listening to the case details, you slowly felt colder, subtly rubbing the sides of your shoulders. You were so caught up in your anger towards the guy that rear-ended you you could've sworn your body was overheating. You left your blazer somewhere and were sure it wasn't in your wrecked car.

"Alright, wheels up in 30," Aaron announced, sending everyone to get out of their seats and grab their go bags and snapping you off your trance in the process.

You rushed to collect your file copy and headed for the door but halted when Aaron called you. You pivoted on your heels, "Yes?"

He was taking off his jacket, handing it to you as soon as it peeled off his body.

"I don't think dry cleaning your suit is part of my job description, Sir." You kidded as you stared at his black jacket.

Aaron rolled his eyes. It was so rare that you had to blink twice to ensure you didn't have a concussion from your minor car accident. "You're cold." He wasn't asking, plainly stating your slight predicament.

Your eyebrows knitted, mouth slightly opened. And as if the universe was mocking you, a sudden draft slapped you in a shiver. You snatched his jacket and mumbled a small thank you.

As you walked out of the conference room, teasing eyes bore holes into your being. Each BAU team member's narrowed brows held you captive, and their loud thoughts rang in your ears. You ignored all of it, though, taming your anxiety with the warmth of Aaron's jacket.

Wednesday, April 13, 1:37 PM

"Garcia, look for old cases with one young boy as a survivor." Aaron started, listing each task that everyone was to complete.

You were so focused on the case that your next movement caught you off guard.

Your back snapped straight from the slap of Minnesota air. It was brief. An officer merely opened and closed the door, but your body was nowhere near as warm as it was a few seconds ago.

The warmth of cotton fabric soon hugged your shoulders, along with the momentary weight of Aaron's hands, before he fully let go of his suit jacket.

He continued talking as if what he had just done was normal or anything close to casualty, "Morgan and Reid, try speaking with the victim's family one more time."

Emily exchanged looks with JJ, conversing silently while you obliviously sipped your coffee.

Friday, May 2, 5:04PM

"Capital O-M-G!" Penelope squealed, drumming on your shoulders as soon as she came close.

"Garcia, breathe," JJ gently placed her hands on Penelope's shoulders, modeling a regular breathing pattern.

Emily gave you a look as she sipped her coffee, which you returned with a shrug. Penelope was ever so eccentric. You've gotten used to it over the years you've been with the team.

"Okay, okay, okay. I'm good. Just that— I was— Ugh! Look!" Penelope shoved her phone in your face.

You saw a blinding blur, forcing out a sarcastic, "Wow! I can definitely see."

Luckily, JJ took it to herself to pull Penelope's phone away from messing up your eyesight and looked at the image plastered on the screen. A smirk immediately covered her lips, "Oh."

"What is it? Let me see—" Emily walked behind JJ. Her jaw dropped not long after. "Anything you want to tell us?" She cooed as she gave you the widest grin she had ever flashed, at least for that morning.

Your eyebrows clashed, and your forehead creased, "Whatever are you on about?"

"You're telling us nothing's happening between you and a guy?" Emily's grin only widened. You wondered how wide it could get, terrifying you in the process.

JJ flipped the phone to your end. The brightness of the screen stung your eyes a bit. "Want to explain this?"

Photo: It looked like the picture was cropped because you saw Derek's arm around you, but he was nowhere to be found in the image. Aaron's jacket was around your shoulders while he was behind you, glaring at Derek's arm.

"What about it?" The confusion was solid in your voice. However, you had a bit of an idea of what the three of them were insinuating.

Penelope stepped closer to you, "Uhuh, sure," she started as she zoomed in on the picture. "You're telling me you can't see Hotch's jacket on your shoulders, let alone Hotch glaring at my chocolate thunder?"

"He let me borrow his jacket because I was cold. Doesn't he always do that with everyone?" You innocently asked, looking at each one of them.

"Still doesn't explain him glaring at Derek." Emily chimed in a teasing tone, wiggling her eyebrows.

Your eyes widened, "You think Hotch was mad at me because I took it? He offered it to me, and I was cold. You think he was just being polite or?"

Penelope rolled her eyes and aimed her fluffy pen at you, "You oblivious profiler! He's jealous!"

"Uh-no," You chuckled.

"You don't believe me? Look at this."

Photo: This photo was older than the first one and might've been your third or fourth year with the BAU team. It seemed like all of you had just ended a case. You were snuggled on the couch on the jet. Aaron was draping his jacket over you.

"Who took that picture?" You queried.

Penelope raised her hand, "I was going to check in on everyone, then the camera spotted it, and I took a screenshot because I couldn't help myself. I was going to tease you about it but forgot for a very, very, very, very long time until I saw that picture from our last team night out." She wiggled her eyebrows, a playful smile on her lips.

"Looks like our boss has a favorite," JJ sang softly, looking at you with a knowing smile.

Emily nudged you, noticing the blush on your face. "You've gotta admit that's very sweet of Hotch. I think he likes you wearing his jacket." She teased, poking your sides.

"He does that to everyone, though," You reasoned. If you recall, he had offered his jacket to many people before.

"Nope, no!" Penelope shook her head vigorously with a tight lip. "He offers it to some but gives it to you."

"We had a case where it was biting cold outside. Hotch offered to help me if I needed a jacket. I said no because of politeness and shit, but he didn't insist. He didn't even offer his jacket. He offered to give me time to return to my room and grab my jacket." Emily grimaced, obviously still holding a grudge regarding the incident.

"I've known Hotch for years. Giving out his jacket was only for emergencies. If it's the only choice he had. We've had cases where a victim was a little too exposed, and his solution was to wrap them with the newspaper he conveniently found." JJ exclaimed, sorting the manila folders on her chest.

You gave it some thought and considered every possibility, but you shook your head. "He's just being nice because he's my boss. Plus, I'm still a bit tense around the team." You straightened yourself, fixing your top.

Emily cackled, "Getting flat-out drunk with us is definitely you still a bit tense around us."

"You know what I mean," You defended, blushing.

The three exchanged looks and shrugged. If you wanted to turn a blind eye, then it was your choice. But they had a perfect theory and tried to test it out.

Aaron was heading to the elevator as you exited the bullpen. The three of them grinned.

"Going for girls night?" Aaron quipped, raising his eyebrows.

JJ frowned, "We were, but she's feeling sick. I think the cold's getting to her." She gave you a pitiful hug.

Your eyes blew wide, jerking your head behind you where the other two stood with maniac grins. You knew what JJ was doing. It didn't take a second for you to figure it out. And as if luck was on their side, the elevator dinged.

You followed their figures as they piled in in the lift. You glared at them, but Emily focused on the man beside you.

You gazed at Aaron and were met with his jacket stretched out to you. Your mouth fell open, unable to breathe.

"It's cold outside this time of night. You'll feel worse if you don't layer up." Aaron cleared his throat, "Take it."

You reached for his jacket so slowly that he took it in himself to wrap it around your shoulders. "Thank you," Your voice quivered, hesitantly stepping inside the elevator.

He followed, standing beside you. You could feel the three devils behind you, preparing yourself for their constant teasing.

Unbeknownst to any of you, Aaron was holding his breath in the hopes that none of you would notice his blushing ears.

Monday, May 16, 8:12PM

The entire day has been a drag. Besides the unsub being disgustingly great at hiding his tracks in the safety of your local area, your stomach had been giving you the worst time of your life.

Later in the evening, in Aaron's orders, everyone was sent home to get some rest and start fresh the next day.

You were thankful. You needed to rest from all the stomach-emptying vomit you did in the restroom. Your acid reflux was having a field day and didn't let you get a breath. You practically lived in the toilet. You even had to call Derek and ask him to put you on speaker so you could contribute to finding the unsub. Luckily, they didn't question it.

Emily retracted away as she exited your hug, "Are you sure you don't want me to give you a ride home? We practically live in this building. I don't think they'd mind you leaving your car here for a night."

A warm smile brightened your drained face, "Yes, I'm sure. Thanks for the offer." You bid her one last goodbye before heading to your own car.

Your head was down as the day's exhaustion finally caught up. Your senses were off. You walked as if time stopped. You wondered if you should've taken advantage of Emily's offer.

With your loud thoughts and vulnerable senses, a heart attack almost killed you when a sudden cage of warmth engulfed your body. For a moment, your body wanted to fight, but it didn't take long for you to remember the familiarity of this warmth.

"What took you so long?" His voice was gentle and comforting enough to put you to sleep immediately.

You looked up at Aaron, who refused to unwrap his arms around you, "I didn't know you were waiting. I thought you went home already. Isn't Jack waiting for you? It's movie night."

Aaron smiled, "I'm taking you to the hospital to get checked. Captain Jack's orders."

You couldn't help but smile as well. He held the door for the passenger seat before jumping to the driver's seat. As you watched him go around, you noticed his scent lingered on your shoulders.

Aaron placed his jacket on yours.

"You ought to be careful," A chuckle passed your lips, "The gals are onto you."

"Why?" Aaron looked at you with a confused expression. His face made you giggle. The genuineness of his expression made you wonder his reaction if you had said the same thing two years ago.

A grin glistened on your face, "They say Agent Hotchner has a crush on me." Your voice danced with playfulness.

Aaron copied your grin and shrugged, "I'm surprised they haven't figured it out after all these years." He turned his body to face you, "So? Do you like him back?"

If only the BAU team knew how their unit chief, the SSA Aaron Hotchner, was a lot friskier than they perceived him to be, Aaron wouldn't last a day from all the teasing.

Then you wondered how the BAU team would react if they found out you and Aaron have been dating for the past two years and successfully kept it a secret from everyone except Strauss and Rossi.

Or the number of questions you'd be bombarded with when they learn that you recently moved in together with Aaron and Jack. You knew well enough that the ladies would be interrogating you like a serial killer.

You shrugged, "I heard he's got a fiancée." You fished the necklace well hidden under your shirt. A golden ring band shaped like vines with an oval-cut blue moon diamond dangled on the chain.

"Yeah..." Aaron held your hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it, "You wouldn't want to be in the way of that." He smiled widely, an ever-loving expression you indulged yourself with for the past two years and soon... for a lifetime.

[imagine-lcorp]

Enchanted (One Shot)

Request

Can you do one where Lena gets kissed by a girl at a masquerade party aka Reader who works at L-Corp's lab (she had had the longest crush on her boss) and it's the first time Lena has kissed a woman. Lena is smitten by that kiss and the stranger in a beautiful mask and the only distinct recognition she has is a tattoo on their wrist. They dance and talk during the party. Finding common interests and likes. Lena falling for R harder. R plays everything surprisingly cool despite her heart hammering in her chest. Must be the wine. Lena tries to hunt down the stranger in every way she could think of. One day just as she was falling in total despair she frozes at L-Corp cafeteria when she sees a lab worker paying for coffee and their sleeve rise high enough to reveal the tattoo Lena recognizes. The rest is up to you ^^

A/N: Ok so I know I took my time with this one, but it was so much fun and I’m so happy I could finish it!! Guess I’m gonna be really productive this quarantine. Pls enjoy!

Lena Luthor x Fem!R|Modern Cinderella AU//Word Count: 2,550 -------------------------------------------------------

Two glasses of wine in and you're still not sure how your best friend managed to drag you at a masquerade party. Not that you weren't enjoying the glamour of it, with the withe tables, the fine silverware, the music, a surprisingly well done mix of classical music with a great beat, and the overall fanciness of it all, but it definitely wasn't what you were expecting to do on a Friday night. That and the fact that your friend had disappeared a while ago, leaving you to wander around the place all by yourself.

"Come on, (Y/N), I got us invitations to one of the best and most exclusive parties in National City." She had said as you arrived in her car.

She stopped in front of the hotel that was hosting the party and handed you masquerade mask, selected especially for her to go with the outfit she had also chosen for you to wear tonight.

"Whoever thought, having a masquerade party was fun must have a serious obsession with Disney princesses." You took the mask form her hand and looked at it.

"Could be, but I'm not about to question the person who did all of this and who is letting me enjoy it for free." She said adjusting her own mask on her face.

"Didn't you sell your soul to the devil for the invitations or something?" You put on the mask and looked at the rear view mirror making sure you looked as good as your friend had pretended with the outfit.

"Yeah, yours included. Now, shut up and have some fun." She turned to look at you and smiled."And who knows? Maybe you'll find your Disney princess."

It had been a couple of hours already since you arrived and the only thing you had found was yourself back again at the bar, asking for your third glass of wine. You tried to enjoy the party, just like your friend had said, but it was difficult considering you were there by yourself and you had no idea who were all these people. However, you couldn't completely blame your friend for all of this. She was just making sure you had some other activities besides staying at home watching tv or at work... drooling over your boss.

When you moved to National City you had no idea you would actually land that job at L-Corp and you of course weren't aware Lena Luthor could be that awesome in person. You were collaborating in one of the many projects the company had but she was always involved in every single one of them, making sure the team had everything you needed to continue with the research and talking to the heads of the projects at least once a month.

You didn't even talk to each other and there was no real need for that since you were just a lab technician but it was ridiculous the way it made you feel when she was in the same room. It was obvious she was as beautiful as she was smart and that was enough to make your brain collapse. Having a crush on Lena Luthor had been unexpected, just like hearing her voice beside you.

You turned your face and turned it again so quickly it could have given you whiplash, with just a quick glance you were sure Lena Luthor was attending the same party as you. She had walked to the bar along with someone else, and you stood there waiting for your own glass of wine, tapping your fingers impatiently on the marble table of the bar, and panicking over someone the presence of someone you hand't actually meet. Your whole body as you kept waiting for you wine and even if it wasn't your conscious intention your ears only registered her voice.

Her conversation didn't seem enjoyable at all. The man who accompanied her was trying to have some kind of conversation that Lena wasn't even trying to follow, if anything she sounded annoyed, responding with only a yes or no or a nod, as he raised his voice making sure she was listening to whatever he was saying. It was clear she wasn't interested. The man wasn't getting the hint, and you wanted nothing but to take her away from that uncomfortable situation.

Then, you weren't sure if you were going to regret it or not, you didn't know if it was the alcohol already running on your system or the advantage of anonymity the mask on your face gave you but, you did something.

As soon as the bartender put your glass of wine in front of you, you turned around to face them both.

"Hey, I knew I recognized that voice." You said taking the glass on your hand. "How did you find me? I went into the crowd twice thinking I had lost you! Here, I got your wine."

They both turned in your direction, and you could see the confusion through the holes in their masks. She only needed one second to figure what you were doing, and she wondered if she had really sounded as tired of the conversation she was having for someone to come and save her.

"Hey, yes, sorry." You handed her your glass and she took it from you automatically.

"Don't worry, I see you're making new friends." You pulled your best smile. "Who is this?"

"This is..." Lena looked at the guy next to her but couldn't remember his actual name.

"Just a guy she just met." He said with a cocky smile, trying to appear charming.

"Well, nice to meet you." You turned to face her. "Now, if I recall correctly, the next dance is mine. So, shall we dance, madame?"

"Of course." She said and took the hand you offered with a little bow.

"See you around, guy she just met." You waved behind him as you and Lena walked hand in hand to the center of the room, away from him. Your heart was hammering inside your chest and you prayed the hand that was holding hers wasn't as sweaty as you thought it was.

She let you drag her to one corner of the room and when you realized you had walked around for a good minute you stopped and turned to face her once more.

"Please, tell me I didn't actually ruin a potential date for you." You asked.

"No, not at all. His conversation wasn't that compelling to start with."

"So I heard." You thought about your words and felt your cheeks turn red. "Not that I was spying but he was really loud."

"Don't worry. In fact, I think I own you one... and a glass of wine too." She raised the glass to show it half empty. "Sorry."

You smiled at her and responded with more confidence than you knew you were capable of. "Maybe you can repay me with that dance. I also promise to make for an interesting chat."

"Deal." She chuckled, a sound so precious it threatened to melt your heart.

She had let you take her hand, guiding her once more among the crowd, and you found yourselves in the middle of the dance floor, with the thousand lights illuminating it and the music loud enough to fill the whole room. Then a dance soon turned into two and then three and so on, until you both tried a funky waltz none of you were sure how to dance.

"I think," she said after all your dances with a little panting, "it's time for a drink. Would you like to join me?"

"I would be delighted." You said and felt her hand on yours, leading you to the bar.

She was glad you accepted another glass of wine and she was even happier that you had kept your promise of an interesting conversation. Sitting at the bar, you talked and talked about nothing and everything. About the things you loved and hated, what you wanted, what you hoped, the crazy things you did or never did in your youth and the things that were yet to come.

Maybe it was the way you moved around or the way you spoke to her, like you had already met sometime, somewhere, but Lena imagined this connection she had started to feel with you had to do with the masks you were wearing. No introductions were needed. There was no need for a name, especially not a name like hers which people used to run from.

You were just part of the people, that big mass of singular personalities, drinking, twirling, chatting, laughing, without a care in the world, and if Lena ever believed in love at first sight she was sure this could very much be it.

You felt as if you were in a modern fairy tale and made a mental note to thank your friend for dragging you there. Never in a thousand lives you had imagined you would end up sharing the night with Lena Luthor and, even when you felt your heart could cause an earthquake, you thanked whatever god was out there for not making a fool of yourself.

However, every night and every tale has to come to and end and you had to remind yourself of that has your phone started to ring. Your friend's name was announced on the screen along with a message. You had to leave the party right away, she would do the explaining later.

"Something wrong?" Lena asked seeing a hint of worry in your eyes.

"I hope not." You cursed under your breath and put your phone back in its pocket. "Sorry, I really wish I didn't to, but I need to go."

You were leaving your seat when she quickly grabbed you by the wrist. You both looked at your hands and, for the first time, Lena noticed the little tattoo that covered the inside of your wrist. For a moment, it was all she saw but then looked at you remembering she had something to say.

"I'm Lena." She said with a small pause, hoping the revelation of her name wouldn't arouse any sign of fear or disgust. "Lena Luthor."

"Enchanted to meet you, Lena." You replied with a little smile. Then, almost on impulse and knowing this could be the only change you would get at it, you closed the distance between you two and kissed her. "I'm the girl you just met."

Just like that you were gone, and a kiss had never been as haunting for Lena as the one you gave her.

The night ended, and Lena went home already thinking on all the algorithms and possibilities she would need to find you again. Not an easy job, since you only left her with the feeling of your lips on hers, the first woman that had dared to kiss her and the image of your wrist tattoo. Even for a genius like her, it would take so much time to track you down with only the memories of that night to keep her going.

You, on the other hand, were still banging your head against the wall. As it turned out, the night of the ballroom party your friend had faced a little bit of trouble when she decided to steal a few boxes of snacks from the kitchen in the hotel. None had actually noticed but she swore she and the dude who convinced her of doing so were being followed and had to run away from the party before anyone could notice. So you had to drive with a coupe of drunk idiots who had stolen nothing but snack boxes already prepared for the guests.

The next morning, when you were safe back on her apartment and she was sober enough to listen to you, you told her everything that had happened.

"Wait, no. No, no, no." She had said. "So, you're telling me you left her there and didn't even give her your name?"

Yes, that's exactly what you had done and that was something she would never let you forget. The chance of a lifetime lost forever. But it was enough, you had thought. One magical night in the presence of Lena Luthor had been everything you never knew you needed. Besides, what could you had done after that? She was a genius entrepreneur, member of the still most influential families in the world and the owner of the company you worked for. At the end of the day, you were just you. So days passed and you continued with your daily routine with that night printing into your mind as a good memory. Although you wondered sometimes, what would have been if you had told her your name.

Those same days passes for Lena but it was slightly different. She kept looking for you but found nothing more than dead ends. There was no guest list where she could look up for your name, no surveillance that could show her your face behind the mask, and no place where she could look for you. You were a beautiful ghost dancing in the ballroom of her memory, threatening to make her crazy of she couldn't find you.

Then one day, against all odds, she found you.

It had been a busy morning in the labs and you had arrived almost late to your shift. You had been awake until late and needed some sleep. Thankfully, one of your coworkers had noticed your tired eyes and was kind enough to cover for you, so you could head to the cafeteria for a coffee to keep you awake.

You were about to pay for it when you heard her voice beside you.

"It is you."

Lena had been headed to one of the labs when she decided maybe the cafeteria could make for a good short cut. Some employees were already seated or ordering some food, some of them even saluted her. She was half way across the cafeteria when she noticed someone asking for a cup of coffee, nothing out of the ordinary, and she would have continued walking were it not for the mark she noticed in her wrist. The sleeve of her lab coat was high enough that she could distinguish that mark as a tattoo. It was just a couple of seconds but it was enough for Lena to recognize it as yours.

She approached you and just when you were paying for your coffee your sleeve rose again, proving she wasn't wrong.

"It is you." She said.

You had frozen for a moment with your cup in hand before you turned to look at your boss, at Lena, in front of you. The same green eyes that looked at you that night were looking at you right there and there was something in them that told you they had waited for this moment.

The chance of a lifetime that you thought had been lost forever was back at you. This was it, the chance to say the one thing you had forgot to say.

"Guess I own you a name." You said slowly, wondering what could happen now that there were no masks between you two.

"Yes, you do." She said with a tone that you didn't believe possible could sound both commanding and tender. She took a look at your ID and smiled. "Well, enchanted to meet you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)."

[primroseprime2019]

Convoy

"PRIME!" Agent Fowler called out from the screens as Optimus, Jazz and Prowl came into the room.

"Prime!" Fowler called again. "Agent Fowler, to what do we owe-?" The Prime began to ask.

"What else? It's Cons! I chased them off with some hard ordinance! But not before they blew me out of the sky!" Fowler exclaimed in frustration.

"Again?" Miko giggled. "I don't think the Decepticons like him," Paige said. "I heard that!" Fowler exclaimed, "they tried to smash and grab for the DNGS."

"The whatsit?" WhiteRain repeated in confusion. "Dynamic Nuclear Generator System. A.K.A., DNGS," Fowler said. Fowler tapped a button and the video visual shifted from him to a view of a metal crate, held down with several straps and ties.

"It's a prototype energy source I'm transporting to the coast for testing," he said. Ratchet scoffed, "that's absurd. Why would Ember bother themselves with primitive technology?"

"I'm guessing to make a big fat primitive weapon of mass destruction. If this baby were to melt down, it would irradiate this state and the four next door," Fowler said. Raf nervously looked to his friends, "did Agent Fowler say what state he was currently in?"

"I'm a sitting duck here, Prime," Agent Fowler said, "I need you to spin up a bridge and send the DNGS through to its destination before the Cons come back for it."

"I'm afraid that sending such a volatile device through a ground bridge is out of the question. If there were to be an accident during its transmission, the radiation of which you speak could propagate through the ground bridge vortex and harm all 50 states. And beyond," Optimus said warily.

"You got any better ideas?" Fowler asked, furrowing his eyebrows. Paige looked to Optimus, "can I come with you this time?"

"No," Optimus said. Confused, WhiteRain looked to Primrose curiously. "The Decepticons don't know about her being a Galatrian and we'd like to keep it that way," Primrose said firmly. Paige frowned and she walked down the stairs, muttering that she never gets to go anywhere.

“This is for your own safety and you know it,” Ratchet said gently and Paige only grumbled in response.

◊◊◊◊

Optimus, Bulkhead, Primrose, Prowl, Jazz, Firestorm, Nightwalker and WhiteRain were in the forest that Fowler was in. After making sure that the DNGS was locked and loaded in Optimus' trailer, Fowler sat in the driver's seat and he was about to place his hands on the steering wheel until Optimus stopped him. "No need, Agent Fowler. I will handle the driving," he said.

Fowler frowned before he leaned back against the driver's seat, crossing his arms over his chest and muttering, "it's going to be a long trip."

The Autobots started their engines. "Autobots, roll out," Optimus Prime said and with that, the Autobots started driving.

◊◊◊◊

On a long two lane highway, Optimus drove in front of the Autobots. Bulkhead, Bumblebee and Firestorm drove behind the Prime while WhiteRain, Jazz, Prowl, Nightwalker and Primrose drove behind the three mechs.

◊◊◊◊

The console screen showed nine Autobot signals on a map. "We are locked on to you coordinates, Optimus," Ratchet said as he and the kids stood in front of the screen, "barring any complications, you should reach the drop off point by sundown."

◊◊◊◊

An old rusted pickup truck was travelling slowly down the road. Optimus came up behind it and his horn suddenly blared. Fowler was hitting the horn. "Move it, gramps!" He snapped, hitting his fist on the steering wheel.

"Poor Optimus," WhiteRain chuckled and Nightwalker snickered as Prowl and Primrose let out exasperated vents.

The pickup truck moved to the side of the road, allowing Optimus and the Bots to pass. Fowler still pressed on the horn as they went by.

"Agent Fowler, is that really necessary?" Optimus asked. "Ah, don't tell me you're one of them textbook drivers. Hmph," Fowler huffed as he sat back again, his arms crossed over his chest once again.

A light and dark green helicopter flew through the air, it's blades clearly audible. A man started to speak over a radio.

Bumblebee moved ahead of Optimus. The helicopter followed after the Autobots. "Send in the ground units," the man said.

Fowler had relaxed a bit, a hand on the steering wheel and an arm in the open window. "You know, you're saving my bacon here, Prime," he said.

"I am proud to be of service," Optimus replied. "Course, not like I'd need your help if you and the 'cons had stuck to tearing up your own corner of the galaxy," Fowler said with a small chuckle.

"Are you suggesting that no evil existed on your world before we arrived?" Optimus asked. Backtracking a bit, Fowler stammered, "of... well, it was a... different evil. How about some radio? You seem like a Nashville-sound kind of guy." He reached for the radio dial only to see the helicopter in the rearview mirror.

"That's the one! The con who shot me down!" Fowler exclaimed, "who is he? Wingnut? Dingbat? Skyguy?" "Those are stupid names and you know it," Nightwalker huffed.

"I'm guessing!" Fowler huffed back. "Watch your rearviews," Prowl said through the commlink.

Three lime green and black sports cars came up behind the convoy, boxing in Jazz and Bulkhead. "Feeling a little constricted without the use of my fists here, boss," Bulkhead said.

"Remain in vehicular mode unless absolutely necessary," Optimus said firmly. One of the lime green cars cut in front of Bulkhead, right behind the trailer.

"A whole team of Cons," Fowler gasped.

"What? I'm not picking up anything," Ratchet said, "they must be utilizing a cloaking technology."

◊◊◊◊

Two more cars joined the other three that were already boxing in Bulkhead and Jazz. One car passed Optimus and Bumblebee, cutting in front of the convoy. Bumblebee tried to pass them but they move with him to stay in front. Fowler noticed another car trying to pull up on Optimus' driver's side. Once even with the Prime, a sunroof opened on the car and a masked man- a MECH agent- stood up, aiming a gun at them.

"Pull over!" The agent said. "Well I'll be dipped!" Fowler exclaimed, his eyes widening in shock.

◊◊◊◊

"Our assailants are not Decepticons- they are human," Optimus said. "Human?!" Jack, Paige and Raf repeated in shock.

"Oh please. Taking on our bots? They're roadkill!" Miko scoffed.

◊◊◊◊

The man that had spoken into the radio from before, was now smirking. He had close cut blonde hair and several scars. "Gentleman... stop their engines," the man said.

The agent standing in the car prepared to fire and Fowler braced for impact. Optimus pulled to the side, attempting to drive the lime green car off the road. The force caused the MECH agent to shoot the ground and an explosion rocked the trailer as Optimus pulled away.

Fowler looked out at the MECH agents, "who are these guys?"

"Autobots, maintain your cover and apply minimal force," Optimus instructed, "disarmament only."

Another car with an agent on top tried to pull up on Optimus' passenger side but WhiteRain dropped back and rear-ended them. They tried to pull ahead but WhiteRain slammed into their side and sent them skidding and weaving, until they hit some fallen rock and the car flipped, the agent just ducking back into the car in time.

The convoy drove around the side of the mountain with WhiteRain in lead, and the remaining cars being right behind Jazz, Bulkhead and Primrose.

The man looked at a screen that showed the Bots and the MECH cars. "Those are not civilian drivers," he murmured.

◊◊◊◊

The Autobots took the turns of the highway as fast as they dared. Fowler was becoming nauseous from the sudden swinging. "Could use some air," he groaned.

Optimus opened his window for the agent and he stuck his head out before he noticed one of the MECH cars had pulled up alongside the trailer and a MECH agent was climbing on the roof of the car. The MECH agent jumped onto Optimus' trailer hitch and used a laser saw on his gun to try and cut the couplings.

"Prime! Bear right!" Fowler exclaimed and the Prime immediately did so, jostling the MECH agent so he nearly fell off the coupling. As the driver tried to help, he was run off the road by the trailer and over the side of the cliff. The car rolled as it hit the bottom, but the agent managed to crawl out.

The agent on the coupling regained his balance and got to work, but Fowler opened the door and climbed on the side of Optimus and grabbed the agent, making him drop his gun and held him over the road by the back of his coat. "You're gonna tell me everything I want to kno-" Fowler was cut off when a tree branch knocked the MECH agent out of his grip.

Fowler climbed back into Optimus' vehicle form and buckled up just as the radio came on. "I do hope you take better care of the DNGS than you do your captives," the man from before spoke.

Fowler looked up at the helicopter and realized that the caller was up there.

"Special Agent William Fowler here. Identify yourself," Fowler snapped. "I am Silas. But of greater consequence to you, we are MECH," the man said, "fair warning- we will be helping ourselves to your device, even if it means inflicting casualties."

"Is that so?" Fowler asked, his eyes narrowing, "tell me, Si, what's the market price for a DNGS these days?"

"What makes you think we intend to sell it, Agent Fowler?" Silas asked. The Autobots kept driving as one of the MECH cars pulled up on Optimus' bumper and Silas' helicopter kept the pace.

"There's a war brewing between the new world order and the newest," Silas said, "the victor will be the side armed with the most innovative technology."

Fowler noticed an agent standing in the sunroof of the car right behind Optimus. The MECH agent shot the door of the trailer with explosive charges, which he detonated with a button on his gun. They blow open the latches holding the door shut, causing it to open. The agent started climbing out of the car to jump onto the trailer. Fowler looked into the side mirror, "so, Si... you think MECH has all the most radical tech?"

The agent made it to the hood of the MECH car, but before they could try to get into the trailer, Arcee jumped out in vehicle form, landing on the hood and knocking the car back while the agent went flying with a scream. The car tipped as Arcee turned around, and a second MECH car ended up flipping over the crashed one, hitting the ground and exploding.

Silas' helicopter avoided the fumes of the smoke as the pilot stared down at the highway. "Definitely not civilian drivers," he remarked.

◊◊◊◊

"Later, Si," Fowler said with a smirk as he hung up the radio. "Agent Fowler, do not take your "Silas" lightly," Optimus warned, "Megatron preached the very same ideology before plunging Cybertron into the Great War that destroyed our world."

"Optimus, prepare to initiate phase 2," Ratchet said through the commlink, "five miles ahead, to the south, you will reach the rendezvous point."

◊◊◊◊

On the Nemesis, Soundwave replayed Ratchet's last message on his screen. "So the Autobots are outside the confines of their base," Ember mused, "and they seem otherwise engaged; which means they will never see us coming." She turned to a group of Eradicons, "find them and scrap them."

"Yes, Mistress Ember," the group said and Ember smirked.

◊◊◊◊

The Autobots continued down the highway, which now ran alongside two sets of train tracks, with a train coming alongside them.

"There's our destination point," Fowler said. "Autobots, keep a tight formation," Optimus said. With that said, the Autobots jumped off the highway and onto the open train tracks, the MECH vehicles following. But as the Autobots entered the tunnel, Nightwalker transformed into his bipedal form and blew up the entrance so the MECH cars could not follow.

The Autobot warrior transformed back into his vehicle mode and caught up with the team. The Autobots drove alongside the train with Arcee sitting in the trailer, and Bumblebee transformed into his bipedal form before he flipped onto the roof of one of the train's boxcars, and he tapped on the door.

◊◊◊◊

Silas watched the tunnel, "tactical error. Only one way out."

Not long after the train emerged from the tunnel, so did the Autobots. They continued to drive along the train for a few meters before eventually driving up the small hill and finding themselves back on the road.

Silas' smirk grew bigger only for it to fade away in surprise when he saw black and purple jets fly past him.

"Air support? Ours or theirs?"Fowler asked Optimus.

◊◊◊◊

"Optimus, you have company," Ratchet said.

"Decepticons?" Primrose asked.

"Who else?" Ratchet huffed.

◊◊◊◊

One of the Decepticon jets fired missiles at the Autobots. Silas watched with shock and amazement. "Military fired on one of their own?" He murmured.

The Autobots swerved to avoid the attack, which caused the trailer to detach from Optimus.

"Sir, the DNGS!" The MECH pilot exclaimed in alarm. The Autobots drove away as the missiles hit the trailer and it blew up.

"Sir, I'm not reading any radiation," the MECH pilot said, "the DNGS didn't melt down."

"No... it did not," Silas said.

◊◊◊◊

The Autobots managed to lead the Decepticons towards a clearing in the local forest. The Autobots skidded to a stop near a cliff and the Decepticons transformed into their bipedal forms and landed in a line before them.

"Agent Fowler, I'm afraid that if you and we are to survive, it has become absolutely necessary to drop our cover," Optimus said before he transformed around Fowler and the liaison was in his servo. The other Autobots transformed as well.

"So the rumors are true. Living technology stands before us- though perhaps not very long," Silas said with a grin as the helicopter circled around in the air.

Optimus placed Fowler on top of a boulder, "remain here." "Will do," Fowler said.

"After a long road trip, it feels good to get out of the car, stretch my legs," Bulkhead smashed his fists together, "and kick some tailpipe!"

With that, he and the other Autobots charged at the Eradicons and Silas watched from the helicopter.

The MECH pilot looked at him, "sir, if the DNGS wasn't in the truck..." "Yes, that," Silas said and he pressed a button, "Special Agent Fowler, "you lead a charmed life, walking among titans."

Fowler picked up the radio, "come on down. I'll introduce you." "All in good time. But at the moment, I'mvtoo busy wondering how the DNGS might have vanished into thin air without a trace."

Fowler narrowed his eyes.

The Autobots were inside the tunnel, driving next to the train. Bumblebee transformed into his bipedal form and jumped on top of the boxcar and knocked on the door. A military soldier opened the door and blinked in surprise as Bumblebee waved at him.

The trailer walls disappeared around Arcee and the DNGS. Arcee lifted the DNGS into her arms with ease and she passed it off to Bulkhead who was laying on top of the train along with Bumblebee who placed it inside the boxcar.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a train to catch," Silas said. Fowler glared at the radio before he looked up to see Silas' helicopter flying off before Fowler spoke into the radio again.

"Prime! Silas got wise of phase 2!" He exclaimed. Optimus punched a Eradicon aside and paused in the fighting, "I understand."

Suddenly, another Eradicon had grabbed a tree and hit Optimus hard in the face. The Prime fell down the side of the cliff and landed hard on his front. He tried to get up but seemingly passed out.

"Prime, do you read me? Prime!?” Fowler exclaimed in concern, earning no answer.

Primrose charged at the Eradicon who had the tree trunk and she rammed into him, the force of her attack sending the Decepticon flying back. Nightwalker got out his shield before he whirled around and tossed it. It flew into another Eradicon, slicing it in two.

Jazz ran forward and he punched a third Eradicon with WhiteRain leaping over his helm and she punched a fourth. She took out her whip and once it tangled up around a fifth Eradicon, she yanked back hard, whirling around and sending the Eradicon flying across the air and slamming into the ground.

◊◊◊◊

"Optimus is down!" Miko exclaimed. "MECH's gonna grab the DNGS! We need to think of something quick," Jack said, alarmed.

"You mean like a phase 3?" Raf asked. "Well if MECH wants the DNGS, they need to get on the train," Paige said.

"What if we get on first? Y'know, run some human-on-human interference?" Miko asked eagerly.

"Absolutely not!" Ratchet said firmly. "Yeah, that would be suicide," Paige said nervously. Miko placed her hands on her hips as she gave her friend a look, "hello, the United States of meltdown! Lives are at stake!"

"Yes- yours!" Ratchet exclaimed, "you want me to bridge you not only into a confined space, but one travelling at 90 miles per hour?! I can't even count the number of ways that can go wrong: mass displacement trauma, twisted limbs, metal burn-" "Ay! We're made of flesh and bones, dear!" Paige exclaimed, "not metal!"

"Well... maybe not the last one," Ratchet muttered, "regardless, it is nearly impossible to fix ground bridge coordinates on something moving at that speed."

"Would it help if we had access to the train's coordinates?" Raf asked as he typed some commands into his laptop to bring up the train's coordinates.

"Well... alright," Ratchet said. Jack attached something to his cell phone before following Miko and Paige through the ground bridge. The three jumped through and landed on the train, mainly on their butts.

Getting up, Paige widened her eyes when she saw the unconscious soldier on the ground. Jack looked around nervously before he put his phone up to his ear, "we're in."

"I read you, Jack. The cellphone commlink patch works!" Raf said. The three managed to open the carriage door and saw Silas' helicopter preparing to land on top of the train.

"Raf, MECH's landing on top of the train," Paige spoke into Jack's phone, "please tell me you have a way to stop them."

◊◊◊◊

"In about 20 seconds, you're gonna come to a fork," Raf said as he typed in various commands, "brace yourselves."

The helicopter was hovering even lower, slowly coming even closer to the top of the train as they approached the fork. After finishing typing in his commands, Raf managed to change the tracks. And instead of going one way, the train went another way. It successfully knocked the helicopter off of the train top. The pilot managed to regain control of the helicopter.

"What happened?" Silas demanded. "Hacker," the pilot said before he pressed a button, "former hacker."

◊◊◊◊

The train monitor was once occupying the big screen and Raf's laptop. Suddenly, it was replaced with a moving picture of cross bones and a bomb with a lit fuse. Before Raf could even wonder what was going on, the internal bomb went off and fried his laptop, causing it to literally smoke. Raf had to shield his face from some of the sparks that jumped out.

"And what have I been saying all along about earth technology?" Ratchet asked, rolling his optics. "Ratchet, be nice," Paige said.

"Yes Paigey," the medic said with a small smirk.

◊◊◊◊

Jack, Paige and Miko heard the familiar clang of a helicopter landing on top of the train carriage. They looked up at the ceiling and saw a cackling, sparking laser cutting a hole in the roof to give MECH access to the inside of the carriage as well as the objects and people currently occupying it.

"So what would that buy us?" Jack asked Paige nervously.

"Ten seconds?" Paige guessed nervously with a shrug.

"Raf is losing his touch," Miko remarked.

◊◊◊◊

Primrose punched an Eradicon. Optimus slowly regained consciousness. He looked down the mountain into the canyon and saw the train with the helicopter on top driving away.

◊◊◊◊

"They're not taking this thing," Paige said before she grabbed the gun and cocked it. She wasn't surprised that it was still loaded. Jack and Miko stared at her in shock. Paige looked at them deadpanned, "I know how to handle a gun; I did it in the country with my dad's side of the family."

Miko spotted a fireman's axe on the wall and grabbed it. Jack grabbed a fire extinguisher. MECH finished cutting the hole and the panel dropped into the car. Three MECH agents looked into the car.

"You want a slice of this? Well do ya!?" Miko demanded. "What she said," Jack said. Paige aimed the gun at the MECH agents and fired purposefully at the side of the hole, making the MECH agents nearly jump back.

"That was a warning shot, gentlemen," Paige said, "next time, I won't miss."

The MECH agents exchanged glances before they quickly disappeared from view.

"Sir!" The pilot said to Silas and he saw Optimus running along a cliff ledge. The Prime transformed into his vehicle form and took off.

Silas narrowed his eyes, "retreat." With that, the other three MECH agents climbed into the helicopter and the helicopter took off.

Jack, Miko and Paige poked their heads out, seeing the helicopter fly away. "You're pretty fierce," Miko commented.

"First rule of combat: never leave the enemy with the spoils," Silas remarked as he loaded his own weapon.

He stuck his head and torso out of the helicopter and aimed his gun at the train tracks in the distance. He fired a single missle at the train tracks. Jack, Paige and Miko watched helplessly as the missle whizzed past them and the train in general. Then the missle made contact with the tracks. That area of the tracks was destroyed in a large column of smoke, rock, dirt and metal debris.

"Whoa!" Jack yelled.

"Ratchet, MECH has blown the train tracks. You need to bridge us out of here! The soldier too!" Paige spoke into the phone desperately.

◊◊◊◊

"We've lost access to the train data," Ratchet said urgently, "I can't bridge you back without your coordinates."

◊◊◊◊

Jack, Miko and Paige exchanged nervous glances. Paige looked back outside and bit her lip.

Optimus drove as fast as he could after the train.

"Optimus, Jack, Miko and Paige are on that train and MECH's blown the train tracks," Ratchet said urgently in the commlink.

"I'm on my way," Optimus said, "maximum overdrive!" With that, he kicked it into high gear and drove up alongside the train.

"M-maybe we should jump?" Paige asked.

"At 90 miles per hour?" Jack asked in disbelief. "It's the impact or the meltdown, take your pick," Miko huffed.

Jack groaned, "what were we thinking, volunteering for this?" "Next time you need to do a better job of talking us out of these situations," Miko said.

“Next time,” Jack sighed.

“You think we could buy a few extra seconds in the back of the train?" Miko asked.

"Guys, at least we're in this together," Paige reminded them before Miko snatched the phone.

"Raf! This is important! Make sure Bulkhead gets my guitar!" Miko requested. Paige heard a noise before she poked her head out.

"I wouldn't exactly read the will just yet," she said. Jack and Miko poked their heads out and saw Optimus.

They watched as Optimus transformed into his bipedal mode and skidded alongside the train, grasping it as he tried to slow it to a stop. Sparks flew from the friction between the train wheels and the track. Jack, Paige and Miko clung to the sides of the open door as the force of the train threatened to knock them down. Eventually, the train stopped not far from the edge of the blown track.

Optimus walked towards the carriage with the DNGS, Jack, Paige and Miko in it. Jack, Paige and Miko raised their left arms up, signifying they were okay.

"Optimus, are you and the children intact?" Ratchet asked through the commlink.

"Intact, Ratchet. Crisis averted. But the world we live in is a different one than previously imagined. One that has spawned its own Decepticons in human skin," Optimus decreed.

"Never again will I ride a train like this," Paige said, "especially if it's in Chicago."

"What matters is that we're all okay," Miko huffed. "Can't argue with that," Jack chuckled. Paige walked over to the soldier and she gently woke him up, shaking him a bit.

He mumbled softly and she transformed into her wolf form before huffing in his face. He yelped as he jumped awake and looked at her and the others.

"You alright?" Paige asked. The soldier gave a nervous nod.

Optimus turned to the other Autobots and Agent Fowler as they hurried over. Then something else caught the Prime's optic. There was a figure standing in the trees.

He wore red and gold armor and he was gazing at them. He must have noticed that Optimus was staring at him so he stepped back into the shadows.

Optimus narrowed his optics before he followed the others into the ground bridge.

When they came into the base, Raf hugged Paige. "What, no hug for us?" Miko asked playfully.

"Nope," Raf said with a smirk and Jack gave a dramatic gasp before the four laughed. Paige smiled at Ratchet and she walked over to him.

He knelt down and she wrapped her arms around his digit. "I love you Ratchet," she said with a smile.

Upon hearing that, everyone turned to them. Ratchet smiled softly, "I love you too, Paige."

Primrose watched the two before she walked down into the hallway. "Hey Ratchet won't be as grumpy anymore!" Bumblebee exclaimed and everyone laughed and chuckled.

Ratchet huffed but he smiled nonetheless. Paige giggled and she nuzzled the medic- her medic's digit happily. And a part of her felt complete.

[stardancerluv]

Creative Fervor

Part 4c

Summary: Summary: Dating Roman Sionis and being a famous designer interesting things happen to those in Gotham.

⚠️ WARNING⚠️ There is torture. It is not pretty. You have been warned!

After pulling up to the warehouse, the driver cut the engine.

He took the mask from you. “Thank you.”

He looked at the vivid blue, purple bruises that blossomed on your cheeks. The blood that had dried on the corners of your mouth. Finally, saw where the ropes had rubbed some of your skin raw. It made his blood pump with hot rage. It had been awhile since he had been that angry. How they damage what was his.

“Tonight, Gotham will learn the lesson of what happens if someone hurts my queen.”

“Your queen? He watched your brow stitch together. “I thought that was Circe.”

“What?”

“Yeah, she is so elegant. She’s closer to your age, and she’s from world you come from.” He could hear a sadness that was different then what you felt from being kidnapped and slapped around by these animals.

He put his mask down beside him. Then he grabbed both of your hands. “You will learn this, Y/N I am not one to indulge falsities or embellishments. So when I said you were mine, I meant it. I had taken you on the new queen of my territory for what it’s worth. Circe, threw it all away when she thought I’d never kind out about her and Bruce in my own fucking bed.”

“So, you saw someone bloated with guilt and jealousy.”

A single tear escaped one. “That was why I walked away, I walked right into the plan they were springing.”

Letting go of one your hands, he brushed the tear away with his gloved hand.

“That is why tonight they will bleed.”

“Good.”

He knew you could still feel the slaps, you could still feel as he squeezed your thigh. He was going to make it so no one ever dared hurt or touched you again.

*****

“While I am in there, try and get some winks, I may be a while.”

You nodded.

“It is time.”

Grabbing the mask, he exhaled and he slipped the mask, his face into place.

“Roman?” You said, you heart thudding.

“Yes?”

You cup one of his black metal cheeks, his blue eyes have taken an icy edge. Normally, that would have worried or scared you. Now it excited you. You kissed the other cold cheek.

He nodded as your hand went back to your lap. He tapped on the glass and the driver opened the door and he slid out.

Once closed, you slipped into his seat. You undid the straps of your heals, you rubbed your now tired feet before tucking them under you. It felt like a lifetime ago when you had put them on. The warmth of him in seat as you curled up against the leather padding of the door.

You watched in the rear view mirror as he went into a door with a satchel off one shoulder. Then you let yourself close your eyes.

*****

“I have arrived!” He announced.

He put the satchel down on a table that was set before the three bodies hung from the rafters. Each of them wriggled like worms on a hook. He made him chuckle, the sound was louder from behind the mask.

“Mikey, Larry...how nice to see you!” He said as he went over to each one pulling them by their hair to see their faces.

“Who the fuck is this?” He ripped off the duck tape that covered the man’s mouth. “Who the fuck are you?”

He shook with fear as he pulled harder on his hair.

“I’m Benny...Benny the driver.”

“Oh...ooh should have known that blonde hair anywhere. You’re their assassin with a golf driver. I like the method.” He chuckled and pushed him off so he could swing with the others.

He went over to grabbed his first knife. It had ragged teeth. He loved seeing his reflection in the spotless metal.

“Zsass, does he even need to be here?” He came over to him and shrugged.

“He’s only ever been pain in the ass. But he’s efficient enough with that golf rod.”

“Zsass that’s a golf driver,” he corrected his henchmen with a sigh.

He went over to Benny. “Did you have anything to do with taking my girl?” He grabbed him by the hair again with one hand. The man shook his head. “Maybe we can hire you? I could always use fresh blood on the team.” The man, shook his head agreeing.

“What do you think Zsass? We could stock up on some golf drivers.”

Zsass, just shrugged indifferent.

He went behind the man and tied his arms that we bound behind him. “Would you give your loyalty to me? Would you work along side Zsass, he my main henchmen.”

The man nodded. “You can speak Benny. Tell me.”

“I pledge you my loyalty.” His face relaxed. “I have plenty of golf drivers.” He let go of his head gently.

“Would be interesting to learn how to kill with golf clubs.” Zsass smiled. Black Masked just looked at him. He wasn’t in the mood to keep correcting him.

He shrugged. “Why stop at golf drivers?”

“Good point.” He admitted before going over and grabbing Mikey the Scar by hair, he had been the one who called him.

“Did you hear that Mikey?” He asked grabbing him by his hair. “He wants to pledge his loyalty to me?” He chuckled.

He pushed him away again and went over to Benny. He knelt down beside him. “It’s an interesting method, those golf drivers.”

“They are boss, they can be a lot of fun.”

He grabbed him, violently by his hair again and this time grabbed him close as he stood up. He drew close to his face. “But that is too messy of a kill. I’ve seen stories of your kills in the news.” He then sliced from one side of the man’s throat to the next. Blood flew and erupted from the man screamed and he letting him go, he swung violently by his ankles, desperately holding the slash with both hands. “We like it clean here.” Blood splattered his black suit, his white gloves were now turning scarlet.

Not very long, the man stopped wriggling and stilled. A small red pool, formed below where the man’s head hovered.

He dropped the knife with a clatter on the table with a clatter.

“Who’s next?”

He went over to Larry the Fab. “Hello.” He grabbed him by his hair. “So how are you going to end up with my girl now?” He looked towards Zsass, “can you grabbed the blowtorch?” The man’s eyes widened in fear.

“Oh, don’t worry that is necessary.” He tapped his chin. “You didn’t answer me.” He then ripped off the tape. “How are you going to end up with my girl now?” He shook him so he felt it in his ankles.

“I’m not.” He sputtered. His fear making his voice shake.

“Isn’t she a treat on the eyes? Are you the one who cut her dress?”

The man remained silent.

“Come on, talk to me. We are having a dialogue here. Truth will set you free.

“I did.” He swallowed hard. “I had to bring her to the dressing room and the dress kept on catching.”

“Ahhh the dress kept on catching.” He nodded agreeing. “That’s why you cut it well above her knees?”

He looked embarrassed.

“Get it. You wanted to see those thighs, I get to stand between hmm? Over have over my shoulders when I want right?”

He nodded.

“I guess you saw the marks I leave sometimes on her.” He paused and looked at the blowtorch. “You can turn it off. Not sure we will need it. But put it there.” He pointed off to the side of him.

“See, we’re talking here.” He looked down at Larry. “You didn’t answer me Larry. Did you see the marks my hands leave on her soft thighs?”

“I did.”

“I figured you. Had to hitch that fabric just a little higher.” He moved his head from side to side. “You have to know, she just drives me crazy. I’ve never needed sex as much as I do now that I am around her. Even when we are just talking about the news over breakfast. Did that happen to you Larry? Did you begin to crave her?”

He shook his head no.

“Larry...Larry what did I say about telling the truth?”

“Ok..ok...I did.”

“Good. Now..tell me did you touch her thighs?”

He nodded.

Mikey made a sound beside them he let go of Larry and went over to him.

“What the fuck do you want? Can’t you see I am having a nice conversation with Larry?” He ripped off the duck tape.

“I told him to not touch your girl.”

“Good, well thank you Mikey. That was very nice of you.” He paused and looked at Larry. “But you, Mikey you touched her too.”

He shook his head no.

“You did...I know you did. You’re the one who started with the slaps...and you pulled her hair.”

He looked sheepish.

“That is still touching. Why did you have to pull that soft hair? Was..it because it was so soft? You wanted to feel it?”

He finally nodded.

“See I love feeling it. I feel it on my chest waking up in the morning when she is curled up to me. Or I feel it on my thighs when she so wonderfully takes me into that sweet little mouth of hers. Something you will never know.”

He went back over and grabbed Larry. “Yes, Larry you will never know what her hands or little mouth will ever feel like.” He chuckled. “and believe me no fantasy can compare. So tell me this, I am curious did you touch her with one hand or both on her thighs?”

He began to shake. “Both.”

“Great, thank you for the honesty.” He looked at Zsass. “Mm Zsass, turn it back on. Maybe just go over the surface of his hands.”

“What the fuck?” His fear turning his scream into a shriek.

“You touched my girl. There has to be some form of punishment.”

His screams turned into howls as a fouls stench filled the air.

Roman, smiled, while the man still howled in agony. “You don’t fuck with Roman Sionis or his girl.” Grabbing his knife he plunged and twisted it right into the man’s heart.

Zsass turned off the blowtorch and let him go.

“Good..good.” He looked back. “Oh, you can stop..we should leave him something of his hands, he only did touch the thighs..he could have done worse.”

“I...I...” Mikey sputtered, unable to speak.

“Oh you think I will use that on you for touching, for slapping my girl, my queen?”

“Yes...” he shook in his grasp.”

“They were just slaps and hair pulling...one does that with kidnapping. He shrugged. “He touched her thighs, those are my fucking thighs.” He swallowed. “Now what should I do to you?”

“Please...I’m sorry. Fuck I am so sorry.”

“Really Mikey...are you sorry?” He traced a finger on the man’s scar, blood from Benny smeared on his face. “I thought when someone had given this to you, you would have smartened up. Wasn’t it Jimmy that gave that to you?

“He did.” He spat out.

“Then why are you so fucking loyal to him?”

“Not so much loyalty..”

“Oh..interesting..I knew you were a little worm.”

“Zsass, take his fucking face and sclap off!”

“But..but..”

“Fuck you! You took what’s mine.” He let him go. “I am done here.”

He went to leave. “Woooo!” He gave a sound of victory. “What was fun, boys!” He twirled.

“Zsass, you and your boys clean it up and have fun if you want with Larry!”

He shed his gloves and went back out to his girl. As he stood outside of the car he saw that peace had filled your face as you slept.

At least you have no nightmares, the thought as he got back into the car. He slid over to be close to you. He took off his face, and put it on the seat beside him. He rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair, as he relaxed. His driver was taking you two home.

Gently, he reached out to you sleeping form and eased you to him. Deeply asleep but knowing what your body wanted you curled up to his sold frame. He smiled down at you and kissed the top of your head. “My queen his whispered.” He put one arm around you and the other he, gently let his hand caress your hair as you slept.

@spn-obession @thehybrid666 @vintagemichelle91 @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @ewanfuckingmcgregor @zodiyack @emyliabernstein @top-rumbelle-fan @rosionis​ @johallzy​

[strongsassysexysloane]

Ain’t life a B*tch

What if Jack and Reader had a past? What if it went terribly wrong?  . . . . .

The crisp, cold air of DC hit you in the face as soon as you exited the airport. You hunched into your thick, woollen winter coat, wrapping it around your middle, tucking it in tighter, you flick up the collar to shield your neck from the bone chilling wind and hail a taxi. Luckily a taxi pulled up right away and you chucked your duffel in the boot, not bothering to wait for the driver to assist which he didn't.  

"NCIS, please." You sing as you slide into the back seat, you were half expecting the driver to ask for the address but he just nodded and you curled up in the back seat as he pulled out. You cupped your hands and blew into them, trying to bring some warmth back.

"Federal Agent?" He asked, looking at you quickly in the rear view mirror before returning his view to the road. It was snowing, not blizzard like but enough to be extra weary of the road. Well maybe for you, the taxi driver's in DC were a different story. It reminded you of a certain old friends driving.

"Yeah, you know about NCIS?" You laughed to yourself, you'd just come back from being an Agent afloat for the past five years on and off. You didn't mind being at sea, found it almost comforting but when you docked no one ever knew what NCIS meant. Anytime you came ashore you'd meet up with other agents passing through and they just thought you were crazy for enjoying the sea, being alone but you'd grown up on boats all your life and being on the ocean was a comfort for you, the solitude was peaceful. That and five years ago when you first got assigned you were in a pretty serious relationship but being Agent Afloat wasn't something you wanted to put anyone else through, even if it was the love of your life. You wanted to get assigned and they just didn't get it, no one ever did. So the seas was definitely an escape of emotions for you.

"Sister works in Human Resources there." He chuckled like there was a story behind it but you didn't really want to talk. It probably had something to do with that old friend who worked in DC NCIS.

"That's hard no matter where you work." A half smile was added and you turn back to looking out the window, the snow falling was calming. Although your heart was racing, it hadn't stopped since you got off the ship. It was the end of another chapter and this next one was very uncertain.

It had been five years, since you'd been in DC. A place you didn't have any ties with, you were a San Diego girl. Surf and sun. Last time you were here was the night you got assigned and shipped out the following morning. The painful memories flashing before your eyes like the traffic lights flying by. A tear escaped and fell down your cheek, you quickly wiped it away and tried to smile. That was the day you got what you wanted and your world also broke in two. Now there was a new mission ahead of you, the Director was assigning you a team, you'd most likely be staying in DC for quite some time and the feeling was terrifying.

The taxi ride was way shorter than you liked or remembered. When he pulled up to the front gate you tapped your credit card, hopped out of the car. "Thanks." You slammed the door and grabbed the duffel out of the boot before walking to the gates. It all looked the same, no one here liked changed, especially Leon Vance.

"Welcome home Agent Y/N." The Director met you at security with a smile. He had changed though, the years of being Director had definitely gotten to him. People probably didn't notice because they saw him every day but after five years, it was easy to see. He loved his job but it wasn't easy. Plus his two kids probably added to the stress, like it would for any parent.

"Been too long Leon." You lean into his hug. "You finally tore me away from my beloved ship." He chuckled as you stepped apart.

"Most Agents want to jump ship after a year." You both laugh and walk through security. It was true, you remember somewhere along the line you'd hit some kind of record for longest on a single ship or Agent Afloat, you can't remember. It wasn't important to you, but it apparently mattered to others or maybe it concerned others. "How are you?"

You catch up with small talk while riding the elevator up to the Bull Pen. Leon caught you up on the big cases you knew about and his kids, he adored them so much. You had met them a few times while travelling back and forth from necessary conferences and such in DC, even met Jackie once or twice those years ago. The elevator thankfully dings and opens before he can get too much into your personal life which you've barely had one since being Agent Afloat which is how you liked it, simple. Not lonely at all. "Ever thought of a colour change?" Your eyes wonder around the bull pen, your eyes instantly burning from the orange glare, as orange as you remember and hate. Your eyes land on the team in the centre of the bullpen. The silver hair shining from the skylight above and you smile, nothing had changed. He'd have that desk until the day he died. Although you couldn't help but have a small laugh when you saw Agent McGee. That beard was something new and you couldn't make up your mind if you hated it or loved it.

"We did once but no one really likes change." Vance smirked but you heard the sadness in recalling that memory. Luckily you were in California at the time but jumped on a plane as soon as you heard. It was all hands on deck for a while before a case pulled you back to San Diego again. A day no one at the Agency or DC will forget.

"Well, well, well." Agent McGee looks up from behind his computer, standing up and walking towards you with open arms as you and Vance walk closer. "Finally got you back on land?"

You laugh, dropping your duffel bag and pull him in for a hug. "Heard Gibbs was mellowing and had to see it to believe it." You snicker and everyone laughs. The two Agents you don't know snicker at the joke but their smiles suddenly vanish quickly. Your eyes look over at his desk as you step back from McGee but he's gone and you instantly can't help but gulp, expecting the incoming not so gentle love tap. "He's behind me isn't he?" You see the young blonde agent nod. "Hello Gibbs." You turn slightly and to your surprise there's no classic Gibbs Slap. Things must've really changed once Tony left. You were kidding about him mellowing but now you were curious.

Gibbs has his trademark glare painted on but you can see through it. See the corner of his mouth twitch and the light in his piercing eyes. He did teach you some of your interrogation skills after all. There was no one better to learn from. "Agent Y/N, what has Ducky told you?" His slanted smile appears and you laugh.

"Many, many things." His arms open and you walk into his big bear like hug. "If I knew you were into hugging now, I would've come back sooner." You feel a slight tap to the back of your head and laugh, there it was. His old ways still ever present, just only for the right moments.

"Wow, he hasn't done one of those in years." McGee comments, a sad smile gracing his lips. No doubt remembering a few good old times of his friends and that famous head slap.

You turn to Gibbs with a cocked brow. "What? Anthony leaves and you no longer slap around your Agents?" Gibbs smirks, shaking his head at your choice of words. He turns and walks around you, giving you a squeeze of the hand, a simple, comforting gesture and continues to his desk. He knows your jokes were hiding your nerves and second thoughts about coming to DC. He knew everything after all.  

"Sorry, Bishop and Torres this is Agent Y/n." Tim introduces you to the new members of Team Gibbs, you shake their hands.

"Nice to meet you both." You smile but introductions are cut short.

"Whadda we got?" He grunts and you look at McGee who gives you a sorry look with a small shrug and turns back to his boss. The team gathers around the old plasma and start rattling off updates on their current case. Pleasantries now over long forgotten and back to work.  

"Guess that's our queue." Vance turns towards the stairs, offering a hand in the direction, you pick up your bag and take the lead towards the stairs to his office. "How's your sea legs?"

You almost miss a step when he asks and you smile, it wasn't until you thought about it that you noticed the slight sway of the earth. It had only been 24 hours since leaving the ship and flying to DC. The ground wasn't steady just yet and it annoyed you. You were about to reply when a woman comes bursting out of MTAC that has you dead in your tracks. The shock on your face, the horror you were feeling was clear as day on your face.  

"Leon, there you are, I-" Jack Sloane was flustered, she hadn't seen you, looking down at her notes and then she looked up. This second time she definitely saw you. That woman, the love of your life, that was none other than Jacqueline Sloane and why the fuck was Sloane in DC?! There was no way she was standing in front of you right now with Leon standing next to you. You grip your duffel for dear life, your knuckles turning white.

You are stone, the last person you expected to bump into today or any day while you are in DC is Sloane. She swore she'd never set foot in DC, or at least for more than 24 hours ever again. Yet, here she was. All the memories from that night five years ago, the heart you broke (hers and yours), the best moments of your life prior and the sad moments leading up to your assignment. Jack's face and body was as stone as yours was. You knew she use to be good at hiding her emotions from the world but clearly the shock for her was as mind altering as it was for you.

Leon coughed but neither of you took your eyes of each other. "Jack.. I'm assuming you two know each other." Vance looks back and forth between you both, stating the obvious to draw someone out of this trance but neither of you commented or moved for that matter. He was confused, shifting his stance from one foot to the other, brows furrowed at his two Agents just looking at each other with bewilderment, resentment and he didn't want to think what else. He doesn't know about your history, no one at NCIS, DC would. It happened in San Diego and for the six blissful months you were together, it wasn't shared in the work place. "I'm just going to brief Agent Y/N and I can meet you in your office after?" Jack's eyes snap to his at the mention of your name, as if she couldn't look at you and hear your name at the same time.

"Sure, I'll go down and brief Gi- Agent Gibbs then be in my office when you're ready." Her eyes are trained on Leon but you can tell she's struggling against herself to not look back at you. Also that shes holding her notepad to her chest, her knuckles going white. You look down to the bullpen to try and calm yourself but you lock eyes with Gibbs and his team who instantly look away as soon as you do. Well, now the gossip with start, you have no doubt.

You see Gibbs eyes flick to Jack and then back to yours with a confused furrow on his brow. Something new for him to figure out. If you didn't know him as well as you did, you wouldn't see the curiosity and concern in his gaze as he looked at Jack. Your mind ticks over, something to think about over and over again later. Jack walks past you both, not giving you a second look before descending the stairs. You can't help but notice the way Gibbs watches her and even seems somewhat happier to have her within his presence

"You ready Y/N?" Leon's watching you and your eyes snap back to him before you nod following him into his office. You can't get the look on Gibbs face out of your head. You try to shake it internally.

"So Agent Sloane, came back to DC?" You couldn't help bringing it up, even hoping to get some information from Leon but her name coming across your tongue hurts, the heart break ripping back open as the name crossed your lips, those years of solitude helping to stitch your heart back together undone in a matter of seconds. You hadn't spoken her name in so long, hadn't thought about her in just as long because by some miracle you'd buried it deep and locked that part of you away.

"Yes, she moved over a few years ago. Another person I had to almost beg to come back to DC." He sits behind his desk and you drop your bag by the door and slump into the chair opposite him. "You know each other?"

"Worked together for a while in San Diego." It's the truth, but it's not the truth he wants to know and you're shocked. The Director searching for personal information. "And that's all I'm saying." He nods with that, accepting your information and knowing there's so much more. He'd probably already guessed just how close you were.

The next half hour was spent discussing your years afloat, filling out a few forms and discussing your new team. It consisted of three Agents including yourself. You'd worked with one before but the other was a probie. Just finished her training, been in the field a handful of times and Vance saw great potential. He'd sorted through a few Agents but though this combo would work well together. Of course you'd be the final decision maker once everyone was in DC.

"That's it. Thought I'd just get you in to go through these forms, catch up and get down to business tomorrow. Jack wants to see me so I have to cut this short but feel free to walk around. Think your desk/ area will be good to go tomorrow. Also.." He picks up a bag from behind his desk. "You always did like working out." You laugh as you grab the bag and look inside. "We got a new look." He smiles watching you unpack your new training gear.

"Still the grey and dark navy blue." There’s a new dark blue cap with NCIS in big bold letters across the front and smaller lettering across the back. Another two pairs of track pants and matching sweaters along with two relaxed tees. "Best welcome home gift." You smirk and reach down to place them in your duffel. "I have a meeting with my landlord in an hour so I think I might grab a quick shower and then head out."

"Absolutely. You know where the gym is." Vance smiles and stands up, walking over to the door.

"Do you Director?" You smirk and he just rolls his eyes. "Up for a round or two?" You say picking up your bag.

"Maybe." A small smile forming as he opens his door. "Enjoy your day Agent. I'll see you at 0800 to meet with your new Probationary Agent."

Thankfully the bullpen was vacant when you came back out. Team Gibbs must've caught a lead and left. Jack was no where to be seen and you made a note to find out where her office was and avoid it at all costs. Something you didn't need to deal with amongst all the paperwork heading your way and assembling your new team.

The rest of the day was a success, you managed to take a quick, refreshing shower in the bathrooms down in the gym and head off to look at your new apartment. It was small, one bedroom was all you needed. You liked small, your life for the past few years was kept within four walls so you were use to tight spaces. It was a short distance to work which is what you were mainly looking for. The landlord said it was a good building, friendly neighbours and they got together a Christmas time for a party. It seemed cute and you might join in but for now you just wanted to get into your new place and make it your own.

. . . . . 

Something different. Let the angst begin. 

[dragon-kazansky]

Ace - Joker [H.L]

Summary: You're the ace up his sleeve.

I've never attempted to write this Joker before. I hope it isn't too bad. Please let me know if you like it. I would like to write more if you like it.

The Joker was a clever man.

He knew what he was doing and always seemed to have a way out should things take different turn. He claimed he didn't have a plan, but he was always prepared.

To say you were a part of plan wasn't entirely false. You were his way out.

Should Batman ever catch him. Should things not go as planned. Should someone unexpected interfere. You were there.

You were the ace up his sleeve and he often called you as such.

'If people know your name, they can find you.'

In front of others you were just Ace.

You don't remember how it ended up this way. You had been helping the Joker for quite some time. This was your life in Gotham, and to be honest, you wouldn't change it for anything.

Gotham was corrupt. Wrong. Out of place.

No wonder the criminals thrived here.

You thrived here.

You were currently sitting in a black van. Some of the Joker's followers were sat in the back with their masks on.

The Joker himself was inside the building across the road. He told you to wait for the sign before sending the others in.

You tapped your hand against the steering wheel, waiting. Your eyes on the wide window of the lobby. In the far back you could see the purple of his coat.

He didn't tell you what the sign was, you just assumed you would know when the time came.

"Who is this guy, anyway?" One of the guys in the back asked.

"Dont know, who cares. We get a fair share out of this job." Another replied.

"Hey, they say you've worked with him before. Come on, who is he?" The first guy asked you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"He's the Joker. That's all you need to know." You glared at him through the rear view mirror.

"Who are you?"

"Ace."

"Just Ace?" He pried.

You glared at him a little harsher.

You had been Ace for a long time, you weren't about to change that for these pricks.

The guy retracted his hand from your shoulder and sat back down.

You didn't know who the Joker was. You had only ever known him as the Joker. You didn't know his name. His past. His story. You didn't know where he came from or what he did.

He was just the Joker.

You honestly didn't care to ask either. You trusted the man you knew. That was all that mattered.

You turned your eyes back to the window where you saw the Joker. He was standing there in clear view looking over at you. You could see the yellow of his teeth as he grinned at you, waving his hand.

"I think that's your cue." You announced to them.

The back doors of the van opened up and they guys filed out. You watched them scurry across the street and enter the building.

You sighed.

Your job was just to wait.

The Joker was still standing in the window looking at you. He wasn't grinning anymore, just standing there as the guys he hired began shooting at people behind him.

You couldn't help but chuckle and shake your head amused.

Joker ran his tongue across his bottom lip as waited for the guys to finish each other off. It wasn't the first time he had his hired helped kill each other one by one, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

It was a part of your job to find men foolish enough to fall for the lies you fed them. 'Do this and you each get a fair cut.'

You were just leading them to their inevitable deaths.

When the last man standing came back to him with a bag full of money slung over his shoulder, Joker ended him and grabbed the bag, picking up a second he had already filled by the door.

You rolled your eyes as he leisurely walked across the road, tossed the bags in the back, and sat in the seat next to you.

Joker licked his lips once more as he looked at you.

"What?"

"Nothing." You let a smile grow across your face. "Nothing at all."

You pushed down on the acceleration and drove off. Putting some distance between you and the building. It was a head start from the police too.

"It's a lot quiter in here now." You commented, keeping an eye out for police cars as you took a few turns here and there.

"Were they bothering you?"

"Not really. They asked a lot of questions, but that's nothing new." You smiled at him, taking a sharp right turn.

"What sort of questions?" He asked, sounding as if the answer really mattered to him.

"Wondering who you were and stuff. Not like I know the answer to that. You're just... you!" You slowed the van down when you were made it to the place for the car swap.

"That's all you need to know." He grinned, hopping out.

You grabbed a bag each and climbed into the car you had organised. It was a part of the plan. You had covered every angle just in case there ended up being a chase.

You wouldn't put it past the Joker to set up something like that.

He was spontaneous.

"I'm surprised." You climbed into the driving seat. Joker sat next to you once again.

"About?"

"The fact that I'm still alive. Why not kill me and take my share?" You looked at him seriously.

Joker grinned as he leaned in closer, leaving barely an inch of space between you both.

"I don't care about the money. It's the getting it that counts." He chuckled. "Anyway, what would I do without you?"

You looked into his dark eyes, confused.

"People like us, we make this city the way it is. You. You're my partner in crime. Without you, it's not as fun."

"You have Batman." You started the car.

The Joker basically existed to cause problems for the Bat. It was his purpose to bring chaos to the city and have the vigilante chase him.

"Yeah." He said, making it sound obvious. "He's not you. Batman and me, we're destined to be at each others throats. This back and forth system we have, it's never ending."

"What does that have to do with me?"

Joker hadn't once lifted his gaze from you.

"What we have is so much more entertaining." And important.

"Entertaining?"

"You're the ace up my sleeve. My way out. My friend."

Never, in all the time you had worked for this man, had you ever used that word with him. You had never seen him as a friend before. Joker was like your boss.

You laughed.

"Your friend?"

"Sure, why not?" He shrugged.

It was flattering to think that Gotham's big bad Joker had a soft spot for you. As far as you were aware, he didn't care at all about other people's lives.

It made you laugh.

The very thought was amusing.

You took a turn towards the warehouse the Joker had told you to go to earlier that morning. You would be hiding out here tonight.

"Now that is funny." You smirked.

Joker chuckled.

"We're a team, you and me."

"Creating anarchy everywhere we go." You basically sang.

"Exactly."

You pulled up when you got the warehouse and abandoned the car as you grabbed the money bags and followed the Joker inside.

You ignored the man strapped to a chair as you dumped the bags at his feet and walked on. Apparently he was a part of another plan. The Joker had kidnapped him for information and wasn't done with him yet.

The Joker followed you into the other room.

There was no doubt the GCPD and Batman were making their move now. They wouldn't be able to find either of you for a while.

"Ace."

You looked over at your shoulder at the man in purple. He was holding a wad of cash in his hand. He was looking oddly sincere right now, something you hadn't seen on him before.

"For me?"

To be honest, you couldn't care less about the money either, but the fact he was giving you some was touching. You really didn't need it though.

You took it from him, his gloved hand brushing against yours.

"I owe you some form of payment." He gave a quick grin as he turned on his heel and went back to the man in the chair.

You stared at the money in your hands.

"He's a psycho. You muttered. "But he's my psycho." You chuckled.

This was the life you had chosen, so you would take what you could get. He was kind to you in his own little way. Though the word 'kind' was a stretch.

At the end of the day, it was just an honour to work for this man.

You ignored the screams and shouts of the man in the other room and sat down. He was in for a long night.

Joker was working on riling up Batman once again. It wouldn't be long till you had another jo to do.

Despite everything, this relationship you had with this mad man was something you wouldn't trade for the world. You wouldn't have it any other way.

Whenever he needed you, you would be there.

This is what it meant to be Ace.

Tags:

@ntb-outsider @awyr @fandombeehive  @charmed-asylum

[channydraws]

Diamond and FellBro

It was one of these moments. Where the prince of monsters had returned to his normal form and all sorts of different events turn about as if timelines are making a big fucking joke out of his life. As if it wasn't bad enough his Chara wasn't who he thought it was and It wasn't bad enough certain events connected with insolent people that don't know how to take orders and now...

BASH!

The boss monster felt his body flying a few feet just for his back to make friends with the floor, his body making it hard to get back up. He heard the sounds of soft footsteps coming towards him. A “monster” wearing strange Gothic like clothing with a scarf and some sort of silly headband with horns. Her arms wrapping around some sort of book to hug it against her body. She looked worried about him as she looks down towards him.

“...Asriel, please... I don't want you to get hurt because of me...” She said with such a soft voice filled with hesitation.

Asriel growls as he snaps at her with anger. “Shut up! I can handle these bastards!” 

This caused the girl to let out a frighten eep as the Boss Monster looks at the two Royal Guardsmen with an intense look of anger. Burn marks can be shown on their armor.

Royal Guard 01 spoke up. “THE PRINCE'S PRETENDER WON'T LAST LONG Y-YOU VAMPIRE ON A DIET!  WITH 02 WITH ME YOU ARE AS WEAK AS ANY OTHER MONSTER!"

Pretender? These fools think they can get away calling him that.  Well, he's supposed to be dead... But that gives them no rights to call him as such. Still...  How did this all begin?  What started all of this...?

Oh, yes he remembers now. He first met this “monster”... No, only idiots would think she's a monster.  This HUMAN came upon him...

...No, She bumped into him as if she wasn't paying attention. It went just like this. 

While he was thinking about what to do next with his current predicament, he was walking in a set path. But, there was a moment of weakness where he closed his eyes and suddenly he felt something bumping into him and a soft feminine sound that was let out. He stomps his feet as he let out a growl as he was so rudely interrupted in his thoughts. His red eyes spotting a girl who had fallen on her rear as one of her hands rub the area gently to try to sooth the pain. Before he could even speak he heard that timid voice.

“I'm...S-sorry...!” She wasn't much of a speaker as even those two words was a quiet as a pathetic mouse.

Asriel took a step closer as he gets a better look at her.  Her strange black hair with ends that had shades of pink, red concern eyes looking back at him. A light red-like scarf and a black sweater where he can tell she had a plentiful size for her chest. Along with the remaining features of her outfit, the most concerning detail were those red horns... His gaze made her react and got her even more nervous. 

“...W-what are...you staring... at?”  She said as he watches one of her hands went to the horns that his eyes look upon.  

Course this made him bring up a question while his eyes narrow to glare at her. “What is a human like you doing here in the underground?” He spoke with a cold and uncaring voice. Although as the girl stood back up she answers his question.

“H-human where?” She said as she looks to both sides as if looking for one.  “...I don't see a human?”

The goat taps his feet on the ground as his eyes do not let go of her. “I'm talking about you, idiot.”

She points at herself trying to vain ignorance. “M-me? I'm not a...a  h-human...”

He tilts his head to one of his sides. “Oh? Tell me what kind of monster are you?”

“...A vampire on a diet?”

There was a pause from the Boss Monster, staring at her as if he felt insulted that she would think such a lie would work on him. Then he spoke up once again.

“Firstly, Monsters don't normally have blood. Second, you don't look like a fucking vampire. Third, do you really believe such a lie would fool anyone?”

“Well, I-”

“Do not answer that! I don't care. Pathetic...”

“...How did you-...”

“IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT!” He shouted at her in anger causing her to step back a few and with a quiet nervous voice she responds...

“C-can you, m-maybe n-not...s-swear like so...?”

“...”  He lets out an annoyed sigh and as he reminds silent he heard her speak up once more.

“S-say... Um, A-are you... u-uh... related to that.... goat lady...?” She asked as the goat took notice of her body shivering as if she was scared.

“You mean my mother? Toriel...?”

“...Your m-mother...?  I-I mean, yeah...Toriel was her name... um... who are you?”

“....”  He crosses his arms as he stares upon the frightened human and then answers. “Asriel Dreemurr, Prince of the monsters.”

“Asriel Dreemurr?  B-but... A-Aren't you s-suppose to be..D...De...”

Bothered by her stuttering he finishes her words for her. “Dead, Yes. Normally you would have been welcomed by a pathetic coward flower. Those times have changed and I return to my normal form. I suppose you heard the deceitful tale.”

She nods her head. “W-wait, Deceitful?”

“Don't worry about it. Now, I'll ask again. What is a human doing her-”

He was interrupted as he heard a shout.

“02! SHE'S OVER THERE! THE ONE I TOLD YOU ABOUT!”

The boss monster heard the voice as the sound of heavy armor approaches them and the soft cry of the human who went to the Boss monster's side.  

“02! SEE! THERE'S THAT MONSTER! THAT VAMPIRE ON A DIET!

02 speaks as he saw what looks like Boss Monster with her. “.....Vampire...has a friend?”

“HEY, WHO ARE YOU?!”  01 said with a surprised tone.

Before he responded Asriel looks towards the human. “.......Really?”

She shrugs with a nervous smile. “...He believed me...I didn't know he had.... a friend...”

“...Stand back, I'll deal with this idiot.”

The Boss Monster step forward with a stomp as he turns to face them. “Royal Guards!  I, Asriel Dreemurr order you to stand back!”

01 and 02 look at each other. “THE  PRINCE?! THAT VAMPIRE IS WITH THE PRINCE?!"

“...Prince?.... no....  prince dead.... impostor....yes.”

The Boss Monster growls. “HOW DARE YOU!?”

“QUIET! WE WILL GET RID OF YOU AND THEN THAT W-WEAK VAMPIRE ON A DIET!"

Silently the human girl steps backwards as she quietly standby and watches.

As the guard's steps towards them, the Boss Monster throws a few fireballs at them which only left a few burn marks.  He took notice as the fireballs seem to have no effect besides save the burn marks. As he was thinking about what to do his eyes took notice of 01 charging towards him and getting a tackle on him causing his body to fly back a few feet.

And there he was laying down, his body refusing to move from the shock of being bash by such a large heavy armor clad monster, the human looking down at him worried about his well-being and hearing such words that will hurt his pride. His subjects to call him a pretender. Do they really want to die so badly? Fighting his body he slowly gets up and gets back on his feet.

“I told you to stand back, didn't I!? Idiot! I'll take care of it... Just watch or whatever I don't care!”

The Royal Guards watches as the pretender gets back up. “01... he back  up....team attack.”

“YES! PRETENDING TO BE THE DECEASED PRINCE IS DEATH!”

Asriel's eyes widen as 01's sword came at him forcing him to sidestep where 02 was ready to cut him in half although Asriel not underestimating them this time quickly dodges and counter attacks 02 with a large fireball that strikes at his armor. It may only have left a large burn mark but Asriel had a plan to deal with the royal guards. Although he felt a strong punch from 02 connecting. A hit across the face. Causing him to step away as 01 goes in for another tackle but this time Asriel throws a more potent fireball at 01's helmet causing him to struggle and forcing him to move the wrong way from where the prince was standing.

Although with 02 seeing his partner being attacked he closed into the Boss Monster and recklessly tried to slash at him with his large sword. With the recklessness, Asriel was able to predict its attacks and dodge efficiently.

While this was going on the “vampire on a diet” was making quiet gestures as if cheering on the Boss Monster hoping he will pull through and maybe believe if she cheers him on it will help him win. Asriel caught a glimpse of it as he was dodging 02's attack making the girl have a small blush as his gaze met her eyes. He rolls his eyes and got close enough to 01 where he lured 02 to accidentally strike at his partner's armor leaving a scar on it. Although the blade did not penetrate through it. It did cause a reaction from 02.

“You made me...  hit 01...!

“DUDE! IT'S OKAY!...”

“01...okay,... another.... team attack... let's kill him...”

Asriel found himself having one in front of him and one at his back with both of them pulling out their swords and attacking simultaneously and in perfect contrast to cover their blind spots making it difficult for him to dodge. With each dodge, he was able to pull he throws a fireball at one of them and switches back and forth with each dodge. Though he lets out a grunt as he felt the blade cutting into his sweater and making a wound on his arm,  then the side of his torso and the tip of 02's blade slashing at his forehead although he took notice of their team attack slowing down with each moment and with every fireball that hits. Though he wasn't expecting both of them to go right in for a punch striking at both his gut and his spine, then 02 throwing the goat towards the girl. The Boss Monster didn't allow himself to make friends with the floor this time and barely kept himself standing.

Asriel was taking deep breaths as the girl paused her cheering as she looks over. Asriel seemed to be in a bad spot. Her red eyes catching the wounds on him with his arm wiping on his forehead... Dust spilling out from wounds. If there was anything else she could do for him...- but as she thought about it she heard the boss monster speak. As she took another look at the guards who were standing side by side looking as exhausted as Asriel although something else seems wrong with them... were  they... sweating?”

02 spoke to the monster they believe was an impostor. “...You... Done?.... Time.... for you.... to die...”

“YEAH...  WE GOT YOU... NOW!!” 01 speech was delayed as if indicating how tired he was.

Asriel smirks as he lets out a sinister laugh that scared the girl. “You do? You both really are idiots...  I am disappointed that you two are EVEN part of the Royal Guard.”

“LIKE, WHAT ARE  YOU...TALKING ABOUT... WE GOT YOU ON LIKE...THE...ROPES!”

The boss monster points at them with a smile, and soon to the guard's surprise fireballs started to appear like magic near the Boss Monster. It was just a few than a few because many and then many became overwhelming and they were quite large.

“Fireballs...  more?.... so... what?”

“YEAH DUDE!  OUR ARMOR CAN ... WITHSTAND THE DAMAGE!”

“I know... But, surely you must have noticed it been getting rather hotter for you?”

“S-SO...”

Asriel lets out another laughter that this time scared the Royal Guards. “With the amount I have created and how potent they are. These fireballs will be enough to cause your armor to be your own personal oven that I'll compare the heat as if you were in the lava in hot lands. You'll both burn to death in an instant! HAHAHAHAHA~!”

This threat made the two guards hold onto each other's hand tightly as if scared for each other's life. What is this monster? How could he still be standing?  How could he be able to make all of those fireballs like their king... Are they really going to die here?

Quickly Asriel felt his uninjured arm being grabbed by one of the human's arm and which pull his arm against her chest to stop him. “A-Asriel, Y-you can't do that! Y-you can't...k-kill them!”

He felt the soft feel of her chest against his arm yet his focus reminds on the guards. “Why? They wanted to kill us. I think it makes sense to kill them.”

“D-DUDE!...UH... L-LIKE SORRY! WE'RE SORRY...!  r-RIGHT 02!?”

“...Yes... we …. sorry...  don't kill... us....”

“S-see, Asriel... t-they don't pose a threat a-anymore...!”

“...” Asriel stood silent for a moment and then let out a sigh. “...Both of you, leave before I change my mind.”

02 and 01 looks at each other. “LIKE, BYE! THANK YOU, VAMPIRE ON A  DIET!”

“... thank you... vampire...”

and with that, the guards retreated and soon was out of sight from the two of them. Once Asriel could not see them anymore his fireballs disappear.

“You make some good use after all...”

The girl looked surprised by the Boss Monster's words. “..H-huh?”

“...I'm saying you have use, Idiot! You made it so they would make sure they would surrender rather than fight to the death. As well, they are thankful to you. They shouldn't bother you anytime soon.”

“...you mean, you weren't...”

“...forget it.”

"...hmm....” She paused and then spoke a single world. “...Diamond...”

“What are you saying?”

“...Diamond... it's my... name.” she said as she holds his arm tightly against her chest as she kept hold of her book with her free hand.

He looks towards her with narrow eyes.  Looking down at her. “Idiotic name... Can you let go of me before I make you.”

“ ...ah...?” She looks down as she took notice of her holding onto his arm against her bosom. Making her slightly embarrassed. “...oh... s-sorry!” 

“...I don't-” He paused himself as he took notice of her book as she brings it back to her holding it with both arms. “...What is that?”

“This...  oh... my.......uh.......  sketchbook...”

“...You draw?”

“....I do, in my... free time...”

“Good for you. Diamond, idiot. You're staying with me.”

Her eyes widen with surprise as she heard his words. “W-why...?”

“Because you are so weak and helpless. If I allow someone to hurt you. It would reflect poorly on me...and I WILL NOT allow my pride to be diminished because I allow an idiotic human to be killed more so now people will know I defended you once and thinks we are friends.”

“uh...  um...” She looked nervous. Did he mean what he said or does he really care about her? Then again he sounded like he was  gonna let those guards live right?”

“...can I ask you..... something Asriel...?”

“You get this one question.”

“...okay uh... were you gonna let them go anyways...?”

He glares at her with narrow eyes and then turns to his side. “I'll only tell you this, Diamond. You can't solve problems by just being nice. That doesn't mean you can't show MERCY at the same time.  Does that work for you?”

She nods her head happily. He seems so tough but deep down Asriel was a good person in heart. Maybe he was raised to be so tough and he learns some lessons before she met him. Perhaps one day she would find out more about him “...Yes...  T-thank you, Asriel.”

He lets out a growl as a small blush was seen on his face. “Whatever! Idiot! Dumbass! Just come along with me and stay close! Can you at least follow that?!”

With a smile on her face and with a more joyful tone, she spoke up. “I can... just let me take care of those wounds. I can try to help... it's the.... least I can do...”

“...you're so annoying!  I can handle it...  But, you better fix up my sweater. You got it?!”

She then responds with a small giggle. “I got it.” 

With that Asriel and Diamond had their own little adventure together, what more may happen with the two of them. Well... those are stories for next time.

THE END!

(I-It's not like I wanted to P-pair up Diamond and Fellbro... B-baka!)

------

Fellbro's secret harem has expanded-

Even though he calls them bakas.

[theevangelion]

THE NEED: SUPERCORP HALF-CHAPTER

Alpha Lena/Omega Kara — Kara has just had a baby and their first heat postpartum is coming fast and hot. Creative problems require creative solutions for the couple, and Lena is anything but gentle with her woman of steel. (Anal, lactation, knotting, biting.)

The sun was high in the sky and dazzling the road, and the highway was inundated with people. The traffic pulled slowly, chugging for a bit, then stalling to a halt. It would be like this for at least seven miles if the woman on the radio announcing the collision ahead was to be trusted. The passengers in the rear cab of the sleek town car had plenty to do to fill the time. There were phone screens in hand, computers on laps, communications and official statements underway. The boss just sighed and stared out of the window, flustered and only growing all the more flustered by the state of things.

“Cancelled your four o’clock,” Jeanie peered over her seat and handed a tablet with something on the screen that needed a digital signature. “The press team is asking if you want to make a personal statement to reporters this evening or if they should quietly release the news on the website?”

“You know, my brother once said there was no such thing as bad press.” Lena forced a small smile as she signed the screen and passed it back. “But now that L-Corp stock is plummeting, I’m inclined to disagree.”

“It will blow over,” the analyst sat in the front seat spoke up, she took the tablet from Jeanie and sighed. “I’m running the numbers and the share price is already starting to plateau. Most of the damage was the Russians short-selling the majority of their stock. Luckily, an investor just bought a billion dollars worth of L-Corp shares. The market price is stabilising.”

“Who was it?” Lena furrowed her brow.

“You.” The analyst smiled and turned the tablet back around. “Thanks for your signature.”

The headache intensified with immediacy. Lena reached up and rubbed where her temples and prestinely tied back hair met, inhaling deeply. This broke at least three financial trading regulations that she could think of off the top of her head, and to compound the stress, her brother and mother had managed to release a joint-manifesto from their separate top security prisons outlining their political ambitions upon release. On top of all of that Lena was coming into rut, which meant Kara was coming into heat, alone, in pain, and with a newborn to take care of for good measure.

The inability to make any of it instantaneously better was infuriating.

“Lena, urgent call for you.” Jeanie reached over the headrest again to pass the phone to the grumbler.

Lena dismissively waved her hand and peered out the window in thought. “Tell them I’m too busy.” Today was not a good day to be the CEO, although there were rarely good days if truth be told. Manageable was at the top end of the mean average.

Jeanie pulled a face. “Far be it from me to tell you what to do… but I really think you’re going to want to take this call…”

Lena rolled her eyes and snatched the phone, bristling and immediately suspicious that one of her immediate relatives had obtained a satellite phone purely to gloat. She brought the phone to her ear and her voice became tight.

“This better be damn important—”

“Your daughter is smiling.” Kara interrupted the bad mood with abundant chirpiness. “Are you smiling, little girl? Are you smiling for Momma?” She singsonged at their tiny one.

“Oh goodness!” Lena relaxed instantaneously and juggled the phone between her ear and shoulder, lifting the lid of her laptop so the inevitable pictures in their iMessage conversation could be cooed over. “Is it a big smile or a little smile?” She grinned in anticipation, clicking and scrolling.

“A big one, she’s in a good mood. I saw the news bulletin and I thought you might need a pick-me-up.”

“Yeah, about that.” Lena closed her eyes and sighed. “Apparently there’s at least one mole in the lab. How Lilian received copies of the research I’m still not sure but she knows L-Corp has the power to chemically suspend non-human abilities and it’s splashed all over every screen I’m looking at. Just in case you haven’t unmuted the news, there’s your recap of my day.”

“The news was unmuted,” Kara assured.

“It wasn’t the way I wanted the public to find out, to say the least.”

“Well, you’re a genius and people were bound to find that out sooner rather than later.” Kara remained a force of calm. “The technology has the potential to do lots of good. Just look at us, at little Ellis. You’re going to save and change lives with it.”

“The Alien Rights Coalition doesn’t see it that way.” Lena worried to the only person she felt capable of talking her worries through with. “They’re saying it’s the first step towards a genetic holocaust and I don’t think my last name helps matters...” The headache intensified.

“The technology could be dubious in the wrong hands, but—luckily for all of us—it’s in yours. And your application of the technology will help alien moms have full-term pregnancies, Lena!” Kara trailed with the sheer amazement of it. “Sunlight makes my body invulnerable to change, Ellis never would have been able to grow to full-term if you didn’t figure out a way to suspend my powers, just for a little while.” She heard Kara smile. “Thank you for that by the way, our little girl is the best gift you’ve ever given me and that’s taking into account the signed Spice Girls world tour poster you got me for my birthday.”

“Well thank you for giving her to me, too.” Lena smiled.

“So, in other news.” There was a small, thoughtful pause. “I’m getting moody which means I might need the chickento come home to roostsooner rather than later… I know you’re having a terrible day but maybe that’s all the more reason for you to sneak home early?” It was said with an air of optimism.

“Is that codeword for what I think it’s codeword for?”

“Leen, I don’t want to talk about what we do in the bedroom in front of our sweet, innocent, adorable, tiny little—”

“Understood.” Lena cleared her throat and shifted her eyes toward the staffers who were pretending not to eavesdrop. The Alpha rubbed her temple and looked up with pursed crimson lips, sighing and a little foggy from the current warfare of her own hormones. “I don’t know if we’re ready for that yet. You remember what the doctors said, Baby…” If the doctors weren’t direct enough about the whole thing, the stitches that were still holding things together down there were pretty clear on the matter. “I can take a suppressant?” Lena offered as an afterthought.

“I don’t want you to take a suppressant.”

“The nausea only lasts for an hour, I don’t mind.” Lena reasoned, tucking the phone deeper between her chin and shoulder as the forward motion of the car picked up with a bit more consistency.

“I don’twant you to take a suppressant.” Kara emphasised it, her voice low and stern, her intention to make the big boss shut up and listen successful in execution. “It’s our first cycle since my body has been mine again and I want us to enjoy it. Can this be our good thing that we look forward to today? Please?”

The big boss did need a good thing to look forward to.

“Let me think about it?” Lena waned slightly.

“Love you, honey.” Kara’s voice scaled upwards again back into the happy range, crisis averted. “You love Momma too, little girl? You wanna say bye to Momma?” Lena smiled at the way Kara sounded when she cooed.

“Give her a kiss from me, I love you too.” Lena smiled and ended the call.

Confused and slightly horny, Lena followed through on her word. The journey back to the National City, the brief jaunt from the car up the steps of the L-Corp building, dodging photographers and thrusted out microphones the entire short distance, all the way up to the top floor executive suite where a roundtable of important stakeholders was already underway, the only thing Lena found time to muse on was what making love to her wife sans pregnancy would look like. From a logistical standpoint, difficult and bumpy with newness considering Kara was still healing and rendered chemically human. From a personal standpoint, exciting and all the more delicious because of it.

“Lena?” The chief economist, Charles, cleared his throat midway through the presentation. “Are you following?” His eyes darted back to the forecast charts on the board.

The boss realised, despite her best efforts, that she was not presently a boss at all. She was a lovesick teenager, chewing the lid of her pen, tapping her Louboutin heel incessantly against the floor, thinking more about the newness of her wife’s changed body than the pressing matter of the PR shitstorm that could unseat her executive position before sundown. Lena swallowed and inhaled sharply, glancing at the forecast points, her quick mind for numbers doing the rest.

“I’m following, I’m just not trusting the current predictions.”

“You don’t?” Charles scoffed a bit. “Lena you headhunted me straight out of Washington because I’m very good at what I do.”

Lena smiled slightly and lifted her brow. “I remember,” she agreed.

“Then I would love to know where your concern stems from?” His hand found his hip.

“The data is still so new that we won’t be able to tell between the qualitative and anomalous points for a while yet.” Lena shrugged and pulled it out of her ass. “It feels reductive basing an economic forecast for the next two years mostly on twelve hours worth of events.”

“The numbers don’t lie,” Charles insisted.

“You’re right and they don’t, but people do. The Russians dumped their stock to destabilise our market position, every news outlet from here to Al Jazeera is running with nothing but rumour-fuel about our corporate direction, and I know it feels safer to sit in this room and worry over numbers from last year, over what numbers might look like next year, but there is a blazing inferno outside and we’re the firefighters who need to put it out.” The chief reclaimed her air of authority. “I think we should move the product launch up to Monday and get out ahead of this thing. Thoughts?”

Charles sighed and nodded a bit. “Getting out ahead might work… with a delicate hand.”

“You don’t think I should take up too much spotlight?” Lena became hopeful that it might give her some spare time to get other things done.

The Head of PR chipped in, a decisive expression only growing all the more fervent as she considered things. “I think getting an alien face out there to talk on the moral and ethical points of the technology presents a better opportunity to turn this around.”

“I agree.” Lena nodded and tried not to seem too pleased. “There’s at least a hundred reporters outside hoping to catch a glimpse of me. It might be best if I go home for the weekend and stay out of the way. I don’t think footage of me declining comment for the next few days is going to score any points.”

“It’s your call, nobody wants to force you out of the picture.” Jeanie reassured.

“I can work from home. The world is tired of Luthors, let’s give them a few days respite.” Lena nodded decisively.

If the world anticipated one thing it was that the ever-manicured, coiffed, pristinely dressed, most powerful woman in National City, would not be making a quick get away from the underground garage in a dinged Honda Accord. The baseball cap and sunglasses helped matters, Lena was certain of it as she pulled onto the freeway without the slightest hint of a pursuit.

The office had been left in a strange sense of coordinated mayhem, the staffers aware of what needed doing, the interns darting out on a coffee run for what was about to be the latest all-nighter in L-Corp history, the executives all bustling in and out of meeting rooms ready to demonstrate their weight in salt. It was a sight that didn’t leave Lena with much concern at all, frankly, the opposite was true. And the intern who bore the most resemblance to her, new and fresh out of engineering school with the tuition loans to show for it, was more than happy to switch clothes to aid the escape plan and get a new dress and a pair of Louboutins out of the deal.

Lena couldn’t remember the last time she wore jeans and a plain cotton t-shirt, but the lack of Spanx was doing wonders for her personal comfort. She shifted in her seat and cranked down the window, another first for a long time, and the cool breeze helped soothe the slick sheen of sweat that formed over her skin. Lena turned up the radio and drove like a bat out of Hell down the freeway.

The phone rang.

“Well hello, love of my life.” Lena tucked it between her shoulder and jaw, a slackened grin forming in the corners of her mouth. “You need me to pick something up?”

“You see the seatbelt next to you?” Kara’s tone was stern.

“I do?” The grin tapered.

“That. Use it please.”

“I am?” It was a white lie, her body was starting to sting a bit.

“I’m watching you on Fox 61. No, you’re not.”

“What do you—” Lena stopped and looked out the window. She sighed and cursed beneath her breath. “Ah, the news helicopter. Well… that’s certainly an unanticipated development.” She winced.

“If I could fly more than six feet I would come and pick you up,” Kara almost apologised for it. “Your driving leaves a lot to be desired.”

“Mhm,” Lena couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. “I guess it’s been a while. Who knew Shayla drove stick?” Her eyebrows wiggled in amusement.

“I’m glad you’re coming home early.” She could almost hear Kara biting her lip. “I was worried you might leave me here all alone… finding creative ways to fill the time…”

“Ellis?” Lena swallowed, hard.

“She just went down. I’d say we’ve got a few hours, maybe three if you’re lucky… she didn’t nap this afternoon.”

“I’ll be home soon.” Lena instinctively put her foot on the accelerator.

“The seatbelt, use it.”

…

She did well to hide how ravenous she felt, did well to hide the frustration that came with not having the vocabulary to describe those feelings. There was something delicious about bruises, the way they ached but not in an entirely unpleasant way, the way they ached but slightly tingled too, as if to remind her how precious and fragile this body was for the time being.

There was one earned from bumping her elbow against the cabinet a few short days ago, and Kara couldn’t help but press it with more frequency as her heat drew in thicker. That, plus the scratch on the back of her hand. She rubbed her thumb against the change in texture, over the thin jaggedness of it, over the state that had never existed prior to nine months ago. According to the Lena she had another few more months of this before things returned to normal. Kara was determined to make the most of each lovely moment it.

The tiny one was asleep upstairs, producing nothing but breathy snores and the occasional deep, sleepy furrow of her brow on the baby monitor as if she were dreaming of only the most important things. She got it from the other mother, Kara was full of nothing but fondness over the thought.

The interim between watching Lena drive home on the news network and Lena making her arrival was spent busying herself with a need for distraction, preening and checking for any baby spit she might have missed since showering, lighting candles, blowing the candles out incase it was too much, double-checking on their baby no less than once every ten minutes. A helicopter parent she would become yet, no doubt in anyone’s mind.

When the two succinct beeps signalled the gates at the bottom of the property were opening, Kara darted inside the powder room and checked herself over one last time. The slight sallow beneath her eyes made her look tired, but it wasn’t a sight that made her feel less any beautiful. There was something worth cherishing about these fleeting days of fragility, something worth enjoying because it gave contrast to her life. She tucked her curled blonde hair behind her ears and wiped away the tiny gleam of sweat from the apples of her cheeks. An anticipatory smile turned into a beaming grin as car wheels crunched over the white pebbled drive outside, announcing the clever one’s arrival.

It wasn't that the sex was terrible during the second and third trimester, it was just different, it was just soft, half-hearted, careful, thrumming with fear on Lena’s part that she would do something to hurt one of them. To compound the difficultness of it, as Kara’s body changed with pregnancy, becoming something that was both powerful and fragile, her desires shifted too; she yearned for bruises and bitemarks and other tiny precious wounds that Lena would have shrivelled into dust over had she merely heard a whispering of it. Kara inhaled deeply as she walked back into the living room, hopeful that today would be different, hopeful that today would be full of wonderful discoveries.

It was a sunny day outside. The bay windows were almost blinding to look at from the refraction of light. Kara looked out to the front drive with narrowed eyes and didn’t recognise her for a moment. She watched Lena clamber out of the rusty Accord, utterly gobsmacked once she realised the big boss was dressed down. And she was. She was completely dressed down. And not in the Lena Luthor definition of the phrase either; which roughly meant swapping a tailored suit and Prada heels for tailored slacks and leather loafers — an outfit choice that she insisted for the entire fourteen hour duration of the home water birth was homely, dressed down attire. This, the woman outside in a baseball cap, pushing sunglasses up her nose, pushing up the sleeve of her loose t-shirt up her bicep as she grabbed things out of the trunk, was a fantasy that Kara never knew she had and was only now stumbling across on a moment to moment basis.

Unsure and deeply out of her element, aroused and embarrassed about it, the soft one sat down and rubbed her mouth. The blurred glass of the front door was darkened with movement and shadow, the wood bumped open with a hip as things were juggled between both arms and a water flask hung off the pinky for good measure.

“Hello to you too,” Lena puffed and smiled as the door was kicked closed. “Busy day?”

“Mhm. Oh! but not as busy as yours!” Kara caught herself.

“Well, nobody said being the boss was without its stresses.” Lena wiggled her brows and dumped things on the side table. “I’m one McQueen dress and a pair of Christian Louboutins light but I’ll live to fight another day. The disguise probably needed a bit more work.” She took a swig of water.

“Well it’s doing wonders for me.” Kara craned her neck and rubbed the side of it, astounded that a flannel shirt tied around the waist could be such an immense turn on. “You, er, you look good.” Kara smiled and nodded, embarrassed by the sudden wetness.

“I look good, huh?” Lena piqued a manicured brow and took a few gaited steps closer, showing off the new attire as if she were the butchest thing this side of province. “Does my girl have a thing for big tough Alpha types?” Lena narrowed her eyes slightly and pushed the short sleeves of her t-shirt up her arms, grinning and loving the attention.

“Hmm,” Kara pouted in thought. “I did marry the toughest one I could find. So sure, you might be onto something.” It earned an impressed smirk.

“Is that so?” Lena bit her bottom lip.

“Nobody said you were a wallflower.”

“You’re quite the catch yourself, Supergirl.”

“Ah ah,” Kara lifted her finger. “Maternity leave. I’m not Super if I can’t crash through walls or swoop down from the sky, or, you know, breastfeed and make a smoothie simultaneously.” The last part was said with slightly more exasperation.

“Well you’re Super to me,” Lena beamed and plonked herself down in the armchair a little less poised than usual. “A few months and you will be breastfeeding, making smoothies, and halting bank robberies for good measure.” She nodded reassuringly.

“Simultaneously? That sounds like it could get messy,” Kara chuckled.

“I told you I would support you going back to work when you’re ready, I meant it.”

“Strong, tough, and also very sweet.” Kara closed her eyes and sighed happily. “They were right, you are a catch.”

“How are you feeling? Have your hormones been wreaking havoc?”

“Do you want the truth or something a bit easier on your…” Kara glanced down to the large bulge in her wife’s jeans, cheeks pushed out, eyes darting back up to something other than the erection. “I can do either?”

“The truth. Unabridged, please.” Lena fluttered her long eyelashes.

“Well, my breasts are leaking, there’s stretch marks in places I didn’t even know possible, there are eight stitches holding my labia together, my womb is currently screaming at me to make another baby, my brain is screaming at my womb that it’s a trap.” Kara sighed and watched Lena’s expression fidget with confliction. “And on top of all of that, I masturbated three times today between mom-duties and it feels like I’m trying to put out an inferno with a watering can that has a hole in the bottom. I have never been more turned on than I am right now and my body is still a construction site. I could be better, I could be worse.”

“Okay, baby, first thing, your body is not a construction site. It’s a place of worship. It’s the Vatican.” Lena reminded with a deep, serious look. “Second, I knew this would be too much too soon. I’ll drive to the clinic and get a suppressant shot, it’s no problem—”

“You’re already in rut, plus, I reallydon’t want you to do that.” Kara became antsy and overwhelmed. “I’m just trying to warn you about what’s underneath all of this. That’s all...” The light grey cardigan was fiddled with.

“You remember that I was down the business-end when you gave birth, right?” Lena lifted an amused brow. “We shower together in the morning, sometimes you even let me kiss you on places other than your mouth when I’ve been extra well-behaved. I’m very aware of what’s under that cardigan, and the thought of it alone is doing a lot for me right now.” It was said with dopiest, softest, most loving, tender-eyed expression.

Kara chewed her lip guiltily for a moment. “I shower before you wake up. I put concealer under my eyes and make sure everything is neat and tidy before you see me naked.” It was a guilt that Kara wanted removing from her conscious, that she needed to be absolved of before Lena got a rude awakening of the present state of things. “It’s not that I think you won’t think I’m beautiful, it’s not that. I love this body, I love that it made a perfect little baby. I love that it aches, that it gets sore, that I finally understand what people mean when they say their muscles feel tired. I love knowing what it feels like to be human. But… this is our first cycle since Ellis and I just… want you to be in the picture.” She closed her eyes, aware that none of it sound as erotic as she hoped to be in the moments preceding intimacy.

“Baby, c’mere,” Lena became soft and empathetic, a small pout working into her mouth as she opened her arms wider.

The soft one stood up, frustrated and only growing more frustrated with the inability to express what she meant. There was still so much of it underneath the surface, so much of it steeped between the things she felt capable of saying. Half of her frustrations were because of her heat, because of the undulating, pulsating, hungry feeling in her belly that wanted for nothing but tired muscles and her wife’s knot. The other half was maybe the fear that Lena wouldn’t reciprocate the desire for something a bit more passionate than the usual order of things.

She clambered into Lena’s lap and took some small comfort in the closeness of it.

The bare arms around her spine were warm and smooth. Shoulders rising, forearms tight, chest exhaling weighted sighs, Lena became the safe thing to make it all go away. The soft one burrowed her nose and found a spot on Lena’s neck that smelled of relief. She stayed there, quiet, smiling a bit when she felt the taut jaw tuck itself over her head.

“Your body is so beautiful and powerful.” She felt the wisps of baby hair above her forehead move with the tender admittance. “I’m in the picture, my head is in the game, and it’s you a thousand times, Kara Danvers,” Lena crooned.

Kara smirked as her forehead was pecked with kisses. “Using my maiden surname now?” She craned her brow.

“Only so you remember I replaced it with mine.”

“Your boner is pushing in my butt.”

“Sorry, I get reallyexcited when I remember you have my last name.” They both giggled, and Lena shuffled the piled Superhero on top of her lap to make a bit more room. “Kara Danvers, I am going to take you upstairs and we’re going to sixty-nine until the sun hides behind the clouds in embarrassment. Anything else you want to talk to me about before I do just that?”

“Baby,” Kara pulled back and lightly pressed her thumbs into the hollows of Lena’s cheekbones. “I didn’t say I didn’t like your boner pushing in my butt…” It was exhaled with a bite of the bottom lip, with a tinge of naughtiness to her voice.

“Baby!” Lena blurted and blushed, as if she were avoiding a clear trap. “That is… no… we’re… just no.” She shook her head.

“Excuse me?”

“That is. That is barelyscooting around the medical advice we were given, Kara.” Lena closed her eyes, pink cheeked, flustered, aroused beyond words and trying to dampen her growing interest. “I want to do that more than anything but without your powers I could hurt you…”

“So if I was human you would never fuck me like you do when I’m Super? You wouldn’t want to experiment and try new things?” Kara lifted a slightly accusing brow. “This is the only time in my life when I will ever be physically weaker than you and I want to enjoy it, baby.” She rubbed Lena’s shoulders and felt her start to wane. “Don’t you want to enjoy me?” She knew there could only be one answer, the correct one.

“I do, believe me… if only you knew how many times I’ve fantasized about having you sore and whimpering underneath me…” Lena closed her eyes and let the sentence hang. “It’s just your life experience is that of an indestructible woman, Kara. And that doesn’t intimidate me in the slightest. It just worries me that if I get too rough with you while you’re without powers… it could be overwhelming? I guess?” Her green eyes appeared again from behind her fluttering lids.

“I want it to be overwhelming.” Kara pressed forward and kissed her lips. “I want it to hurt, to ache, to make me sore, to make me so tired I can barely crawl. I want you to bite me and mean it. I want you to tell me you love me and mean it more. I want to get primal. I wantto be overwhelmed.” She emphasised with warm palms growing tight around the tautness of her wife’s jaw. “You’re the kind of woman who makes the thought of being overwhelmed by you very, very appealing.”

“It’s the flannel, isn’t it?” Lena chewed a weak grin. “Is that why my pretty girl is on me like a bruise today?” Her eyebrow piqued.

“Well, I was kinda hoping you might find the time to put some bruises on me…” Kara kissed the corner of her mouth, the cupid’s bow of her top lip, pecked her way around the outskirts of town until the big boss weakly growled because of it.

“Fuck,” Lena hissed.

READ THE REST RIGHT HERE OR HOLD ON TIGHT FOR THE PUBLIC RELEASE!

[alitheamateur]

The Grind-Chapter 11

Seats were limited by the time I got to the small dressing area turned conference room, so I opted to stand against the back wall instead of stepping into a crowded aisle. Plus, a standing Liv would catch his attention sooner than a sitting one. Within 5 minutes of waiting, Mendez sashayed through a side entrance, championship belt undoubtably in tow, clashing with his red, yes, RED suit of choice. Jolly ol’ Saint Nick himself would’ve turned up a nose in disgust. He took a seat, propping his prized possession in display on the white table. Prayers of pleading rolling through my head that this blatant narcissist wouldn’t drain all the life out of the room with endless ramblings for the upcoming hour. Right now, it wasn’t this particular fighter that I needed answers from. Thankful for a recording device, I muted most of the repetitive questioning until I was ready to join in. 

“Yeah, Miss Elliott in the back there,” he selected.

“Congratulations on the victory, Danny. I was wondering, if Colton were to call you out for the title again, would you accept?”

He chuckled, “ I mean, yeah. I beat the guy once, so I wouldn’t have a problem doing it again. All jokes aside though, honestly, the guy is scrappy in the cage. I’ll give him that.” In Danny Mendez translation, that was a compliment.

His session ended with mumbling something about having a bottle on ice and blah, blah, blah, leaving us now to wait for the losing man of the hour. Upon 15 very exasperated minutes, two reporters withdrew due to justified impatience of Colton’s delay. Amongst the growing chatters, the black hands of a clock at the rear of the room ticked noisily, it’s repetitive soundtrack creating a deafening echo amid the whispering gallery. After what I assumed was at least 25 minutes passing, an unidentified blonde wearing some sort of badge on her hip, resolutely marched her way front and center.

“Alright guys, that’s gonna be it for tonight. Sorry to disappoint.”

I teetered between irritation, and concern. Was this one of his rebellious PR stunts? Or was he currently being rushed to the nearest emergency room for some kind of growing side effects resulting from an unanticipated injury? I would’ve liked to think Mac, Beth, or perhaps some member of his team would’ve had the courtesy to think of me if that was the case. However, after the cold shoulder from Colton earlier, maybe I was no longer in the inner circle. No longer one of the “popular kids.” Surely, I hadn’t already been tossed aside to join the other outcasted groupies already?

We filed out of the room scattering down different hallways, and I withdrew my phone from my purse. Seeing no missed calls, I decided to lean on relief rather than panic. When I pushed the panel opening the parking garage door, I slid a single key between my middle and index finger. A defense tactic that Colton stressed as dire necessity when I was alone out in the city, at night especially. In his words, I was evidently “green” to the harsh reality that there were indeed violent people here, who’d stab you for the 14 bucks you had in your wallet, and the busted Coach knockoff hanging over your shoulder. Back in Indiana, we didn’t even lock our cars most nights, so Colt’s enthusiastic warnings about his own close call with a mugger, did not fall on deaf ears. If any brave, or entirely ignorant individual had the gall to attempt a robbery on a barrel chested man such as my guy, they’d see me as a sure score.

I double tapped the unlock button opening the driver door, and intently scanned the surroundings when my headlights ignited. I sat aimlessly staring at the blank screen of my phone, the thunderous internal battle now underway.

Call the clueless fool, Liv. Give him the scolding he deserves.

The devil on the right: NO chance. Leave the bastard wondering where you’ve gone. If you’ve made it home safely.

Back to the left. CALL HIM. What if something bad really is going on. You’ll never forgive yourself if he’s hurt.

That was all the convincing I needed. I truly couldn’t live myself had he been unconscious in a hospital bed, suffering from some life-threatening contusion with me not at his side due to my hurt feelings. Vindicated, even still.

“It’s Colton. You know the drill. Leave a message or don’t.”

“Um, hey Colt. It’s Liv. Which you obviously know. Anyways, just checking in with you before I head home for the night. Call me back. Wanted to make sure you’re okay. Uh…yeah, that’s all. So, call me back. I love you.”

I gave myself 5 minutes in the warming car for a call back before my mind spoke up. If he is indeed hurt somewhere, a call to his phone would not be sufficient to reaching the root of the problem. So, one measly text to Beth, then I really would engage the silent treatment.  

L: Sorry to bother you so late, Beth. Just checking in on Colt. I can’t seem to get in touch with him. Wanted to make sure he was alright.

The indicating bubbles of reply danced quite timely after I had hit the send button. I was impressed by the youngest generation of the baby boomer era and her swift technological skill.

B: No bother, sweetheart. He left the arena not long after you hurried off to the conference. Said he just wanted to call it a night.

So, the bastard wasn’t on his death bed in the back of some ambulance after all. Or dying in the hands of a brain surgeon attempting to locate the source of some imagined internal bleeding. Leaving him completely and utterly unexcused for the selfish, and frankly juvenile behavior. Sure, I get the loss was hanging heavy and a night alone in his own bed was therapeutic to nurse his defeat, and freshly wounded body back to health. I couldn’t be mad at him for seeking out a little isolation, I guess. That was one of the personality flaws of Colton, it seemed. Something doesn’t play out in your favor? Run. Someone questions your judgement? Shout, then run. The fact that zero communication had been made with me, the innocent spectator, was the true “no-no” in my book. Especially after the hypocrite scolded me one afternoon for leaving my phone at home on the coffee table one day on my brisk exit to work. He had driven down to the Pilot office, had the secretary summon me to the front entrance so he could reprimand me in the corner about he had worried all morning when he didn’t hear from me, and wasn’t sure if I was alive or dead. Yet, here we were. Tables indeed turned, and not even so much as a single text message just assuring me he was home safe, sound, and not experiencing signs of a brutal concussion or what not. I made up my stubborn mind that when, or if for that matter, that he wanted to talk he could find me. I wasn’t about to drag myself any further into oncoming traffic for a man who pulled stunts like this one. Not without an apology at least.

 Tuesday morning. Two days since the fight. Two FULL days. Crickets. 48 hours. For all I knew, Colton Ritter had hopped a plane to Mexico and was sunning on the beach with a beautiful, topless native as we speak. Keeping the promise to myself, and my self-respect, I held my ground & hadn’t reached out to him since leaving a voicemail late after the fight. The plus side? I had an over abundance of time to finalize my article for Ryan, who had texted me with instruction to head straight for his office as soon as I made it to work. It was edited, proofread, and emailed to him by midmorning on Monday, so I was sure he’d had his chance to look over my work. I mindfully sported my best suit on this particular day, leaning if he thought the article was shit and I was in for a lecture, at least I’d look fabulous while taking my reprimanding.

I marched directly to my boss’ office at 8:00 a.m. sharp, shoulders held high ready to take whatever bad, or good that was coming my way. Two knuckle knocks to his wooden, “editor-in-chief” plated door before he granted my entrance.

“Liv, hey! Goodmorning. Come in, have a seat, have a seat.”

I flashed a reserved smile, lowering to be seated directly across the L-shaped desk from him. “You wanted to see me?”

Thankfully, he grinned brightly, “I did, yeah. Feeling a bit of relief with this one off your shoulders?”

“Actually, I enjoyed it a lot. I mean, aside from Mendez being quite the… snide character, it was honestly kind of fun for me. MMA isn’t really a sport I’ve had much exposure to, but I’ve grown pretty fond of it now.” I figured that response was better than saying “I fell in love with Colton Ritter during this process and we’ve been dating under the table for the last several months.”

Ryan leaned forward on his desk, intertwining his hands together outstretched. “That’s actually one of the things I wanted to discuss with you. This piece was by far the best work I’ve seen from you. Not to discredit any of your past articles, of course! But, it was clearly displayed that you were genuinely enjoying yourself with this topic,” he explained. “Which is why I’ve decided to move forward with publishing you front page.”

A toothy smile immediately turned my lips upward, sweating palms replaced with a leaping heart.

“I know we spoke about only going that route if Ritter took the win since the piece was centered around him. But, your writing was too unbelievably excellent to not reward the dutiful job you did.”

I tried to save face, remain composed but I cupped my hands over my cheery face and released a tiny squeal, however not forgetting to thank my boss for the career altering opportunity.

“Thank you so, so SO much, boss. Truly, I’m so grateful!”

“You earned it, Liv. But don’t thank me just yet. There’s something else I’d like to suggest.” Was he pulling the “good news first to stifle to bad news” bit with me?

“I’ve discussed it with a few of the higher ups, and I’d like to designate you as our resident journalist for all things in the world of fighting. I hope you don’t mind me saying, but I think you may have found your niche with this one. Of course, there’d be a slight increase in pay with the position.”

The heaviness of the weekends dramatic unfolding’s took a momentary backseat to the unexpected pleasantries of this spring-esque Tuesday morning. Still, this very second, the only thing I wanted to do was run to Colt with the good news…

“If you think that’s where I belong, then I’d love to give it a shot. It’s definitely a sport I’d like to continue getting familiar with.”

He nodded with a single clap of his hands, “That’s what I like to hear! We’re lucky to have you here, Elliott. I think this a good move. So, we’ll talk later on in the week to settle everything 100%. And I’ll see you on the front-page Thursday morning, my friend.”

We shook hands, and I nearly skipped the distance spanning from his office to my quaint cubicle. I wondered if the birds I heard singing a song of rejoice around my head were visible to the rest of the office. I lifted the screen of my silver laptop, primed and ready to dive into the world of my latest endeavors. I searched the internet scanning for upcoming matches in the city, some of Pittsburgh’s own who competed in the arena of cage fighting, then I heard a ding signaling a message on my unsilenced phone.

C: Meet at Mac’s soon?

The utter nerve of this guy. Sure, I haven’t heard as much as a ‘hey’ from you in two days, but I’ll be sure to leave an hour into a work day per your request. God help the male population if they’re all this clueless.

L: He speaks.

He knew me well enough to know I’d throw a tad bit of shade at him.

C: Meet me, please?

L: Its not even 10 a.m., Colton. I’m working.

C: After? We need to talk.

Oh, ya’ don’t say, genius. I’d say we were about two days overdue for a talk, sweet, silly boy.

L: 4:30. I have some news of my own too!

C: Great.

TAGS: @torialeysha @eap1935

[welcometothepenumbra]

JUNO STEEL AND THE DRAGON’S DEN (PART TWO)

SOUND: RAIN. TRAIN ARRIVES, CREAKS TO A STOP. DOOR CLANKS OPEN.

CONDUCTOR: Ah, good evening, Traveler. And welcome… to The Penumbra. Take your seat, please, take your seat.

MUSIC: STARTS.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS SHUT.

The junction lies just ahead, Traveler. If you’ll allow me just a moment.

SOUND: TRAIN WHISTLE.

(CHUCKLES) Well, next stop? Hyperion City.

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING.

A dragon that doesn’t spit fire; lions with mechanical skeletons; a security chief who makes her own staff decidedly insecure. At Polaris Park, nothing is as it seems – which makes things difficult when your job is to find out what’s true. If Detective Steel wants to survive, he’ll have to do just that: look past the holograms and the robotics and the lies to prove a killer is close by.

SOUND: TRAIN BRAKES. DOOR CLANKS OPEN, RAIN.

Our next stop: Juno Steel and the Dragon’s Den.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Ask any kid on Mars who the greatest hero of all time is and they’ll give you the same answer without blinking: Andromeda the Chainmail Warrior, the hero without a home, the lady on all the best lunchboxes. Every kid goes through a phase where they like Andromeda… and some even go through a phase where they want to be Andromeda.

One of those little saps grew up to be Juno Steel, private eye. Back when I was a kid, I used to put a colander on my head and wrestle my brother for hours while he roared like a dragon and spat all over my face. I always felt invincible back then, like nobody’d ever take me down, like I could do no wrong.

So you can tell I wasn’t a very smart kid, either.

SWIFT: This is the way out of the mountain. Watch your footing – this is supposed to be a drop, but, for us, it’s just going to be a nasty slope.

RITA: I guess this ride’s f-full’a nasty things, huh?

SWIFT: What was that, doll?

RITA: Nothin’!

JUNO (NARRATOR): Rita and I were at the home of the homeless hero right now: Polaris Park, a Northstar joint way out in the Martian desert. My employer, Ramses O’Flaherty, got most of his campaign funds from this place, and word on the street was someone was going to hit him right in the investors.

SWIFT: Careful you don’t trip, there. Try to hold onto something if you can – and that’s an offer, sweetheart.

JUNO (NARRATOR): That’s the ‘someone.’ Yasmin Swift, security chief of Polaris Park… the same park it seemed like she was trying to take down by sabotaging its star attraction. Sasha always told me I should get more interested in politics. Turns out all it took was some corporate warfare and a triple-homicide.

MUSIC: ENDS.

NARRATOR: Andromeda raced down the peak, feeling Draco’s hot breath on her neck!

RITA: I– I don’t know if I can ‘race,’ really! Feels like I can barely walk without breakin’ my little ankles…

SWIFT: You need to take a breather? I can scout ahead and—

JUNO: Nope, she’s good, thanks!

(QUIETLY) Come on, Rita, we can’t let her get too far ahead of us.

RITA: I’m tryin’, Mista Steel! But my heart’s goin’ ka-bum-bum-bum, and not in the fun way, more in the my-doctor’s-gonna-be-upset way, and our relationship is already rocky and—

SWIFT: It’s really no problem, Juno, I don’t mind.

JUNO: Just… stay within eyeshot, okay? I don’t want Rita to get lost again.

SWIFT: Alright, alright. I’ll be waiting down here.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

RITA: Oh, boss, I’m so scared, hold me!

JUNO: Oof!

RITA: I just… it’s too scary! How can we keep walkin’ through this ride with her when she just roasted three people?

JUNO: Don’t really have a choice, Rita. We haven’t found any evidence yet. If the roasting didn’t happen in the dragon’s lair, we need her to show us where it did. So we’ve got to get her off guard – get her to talk about something she wasn’t planning on. Hopefully if we stay on her long enough, she’ll make some kind of mistake.

RITA: But… what if we make the mistake first?

JUNO: Oh, then she’ll definitely kill us.

RITA: Oh! Is that all?

NARRATOR (IN BACKGROUND): Andromeda raced down the peak, feeling Draco’s hot breath on her neck!

JUNO: Look. You said you wanted to come along, and I don’t know how to operate the terminals that control this stupid funhouse, so I need you to keep it together. Okay, Rita?

RITA: I know, and I do wanna help, it’s just… sometimes I look at her face and it’s just so pretty I forget she’s the bad guy.

JUNO: Bad people come in all kinds of packages.

RITA: Yeah, but it just seems like a waste when the package is so beauuuuuuutiful…

SOUND: SLAP.

Snap out of it, Rita!

JUNO: Hey, uh… you don’t have to hit yourself so hard—

RITA: ‘Course I do! You’re relyin’ on me, boss! Polaris Park’s relyin’ on me! That means every little kid on Mars– no! Every little kid in the galaxy is relyin’ on Rita! And I ain’t gonna let ‘em down. Now come on, time’s a-wastin’!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO: …Huh.

SWIFT: Feeling better? We’re almost there.

NARRATOR: Andromeda raced down the peak, feeling Draco’s hot breath on her neck!

SWIFT: And that’s the last time you’ll have to hear that line, at least. Here’s the door.

SOUND: HEAVY DOOR SLIDES OPEN.

NARRATOR: The lions– lions– lions– village! Andromeda cheered as the– returned to the village! Liiiooooons—

SOUND: STATIC, ELECTRONIC GLITCHES.

RITA: Whoaaa. This room looks like it got kinda sick, boss!

SWIFT: Audio’s glitching out like crazy… can’t be good.

JUNO: Audio’s not the only thing that’s messed up – take a look at that cart. Banged-up and stuck in the side of one of these lions… looks like this thing flipped straight off the tracks.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

SWIFT: This must have been from when the engineers were running empty carts before their test ride. (WHISTLES) Well, we should probably keep moving. Ride’s almost over, and there aren’t too many other places it could’ve killed them. And if we don’t find anything, I guess that dragon spits real fire after all.

RITA: But… it doesn’t. We just saw that it didn’t spit fire.

SWIFT: Did you? I don’t remember that. I remember a whole lot of fire, in fact. Don’t you?

RITA: B– but…

JUNO: Right, fire. That’s what dragons do, isn’t it?

SWIFT: Hey, uh… what are you up to over there, Juno?

SOUND: CLANKING.

JUNO: What P.I.s do: poke around. There’s all kinds of debris in this cart. Fur and plastic and… huh. Whaddaya know.

RITA: Is that a license?

JUNO: Torn ID tag. Looks like it belongs to Marina Ricci, Polaris Park Engineer. And there’s blood on it.

SWIFT: That’s… weird.

Ricci, huh? She left a month ago. Fired after I caught her stealing from the supply rooms. No clue why her tag would be all the way up here… huh.

JUNO: A month ago? That’s interesting – blood looks fresher than that. Like, sometime-today-fresh. What were the names of the engineers that the ride killed again?

SWIFT: I don’t know. I have a hard enough time managing my team without worrying about Vega’s, too. …You don’t think Ricci could’ve been behind this, do you?

JUNO (NARRATOR): While Swift was busy cooking up a piping hot conspiracy theory, I did her job for her.

SWIFT (IN BACKGROUND): She seemed pretty ticked off when I fired her, and… she did have a history of aggressive behavior—

THEIA: Topographical analysis complete.

SWIFT (IN BACKGROUND): —plus, she’d definitely know the Dragon’s Peak well enough to break it in all the right places.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And just like that, I had the answers.

SWIFT: Uh, Juno? You in there?

JUNO: If Marina Ricci is in here, it looks like she went that way.

RITA: But… there’s nothin’ over there, boss. The tracks go this way.

SWIFT: You need a doctor, Juno? You’re talking nonsense and your eye is, uh… a whole mess of colors.

JUNO: Cybernetic eye, Swift. All the worst investigators have ‘em. It’s what gives us the leg up we need to stay in this business. Without it I wouldn’t be able to tell you that there are four pretty clear sets of footprints in the grass walking from the cart to that patch of sky right over there.

RITA: But… they just disappear into the sky? Where do they go?

JUNO: It’s not the sky, Rita. Remember what our resident expert Yasmin Swift said: everything in here’s holograms or robotics or practical effects. Which means if it looks like the sky, there’s one thing we know about it: it isn’t the sky.

SWIFT: (SNORTS) Oh, come on. I saw someone on the tracks up by the peak. That must have been Ricci! Are we really going to let her keep running while you walk in circles because your eye’s glitching out?

JUNO: I don’t think it’s a glitch, Swift.

SOUND: TWO METAL TAPS.

Bingo.

SOUND: DOOR CREAKS OPEN.

A door hidden in the holograms… says ‘Maintenance’ on the inside. This must be a service hallway of some kind. You know about this, Swift?

SWIFT: Like I said, I haven’t been through here in years.

JUNO (NARRATOR): It was the first time I hadn’t seen even a hint of a smile on Swift’s face. Northstar trains ‘em good, but I had nearly thirty-nine years of experience pissing people off, so really, my win was inevitable.

But more importantly: I didn’t need a top-of-the-line cyber-eye to tell me she didn’t want us in there… and that meant I wanted to go in there as soon as possible.

RITA: I don’t know, Mista Steel, it’s pretty dark and cramped in there…

JUNO: Still, seems worth checking out, doesn’t it? Bloody ID badge, four sets of footprints… oh, hey, that’s enough for all three victims and the saboteur, isn’t it, Swift? Think we should check it out?

SWIFT: Hmph.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And that’s when I knew I’d rolled the dice one too many times. Because then the old Northstar smile came back, genuine as ever… and I saw a plan flickering in Yasmin Swift’s eyes.

SWIFT: Yeah. We should check it out. It’s narrow, though; we’ll have to walk single-file. I’ll go first, Juno’ll take up the rear. We can protect this pretty little number easier that way.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I couldn’t let her win, I thought. And that thought’s exactly why she won.

RITA: Boss?

JUNO: How about I go first? I’ve got the gun, and we don’t know who’s in there.

SWIFT: That’s a great idea, Juno! Go on in. Then you, doll.

JUNO (NARRATOR): So we were stuck.

I knew she was suspicious of us by this point, but she didn’t know for sure that we’d caught her. Until she was positive, she still had a thin hope of getting out of here looking innocent… and even if that hope was getting thinner by the second, it still gave her enough of a reason to keep up that friendly park cop act.

I wanted that act to stay on stage as long as possible. Security Chief Yasmin Swift at least had to pretend to want us alive. Triple-murderer Yasmin Swift? Not so much.

So we walked down the hall: me, then Rita, then Swift.

SOUND: ECHOEY BANGS & CLANKS. METAL CREAKING.

RITA: I don’t like those noises, Mista Steel… I swear, if I hear one more boom or bang or pop I’m gonna boom-bang-pop right outta my skiiiiiin!

SOUND: ROARS.

OH NO OH PLEEEEEEASE NO!

JUNO: Rita, it’s just the stupid ride. We can hear it through the walls.

NARRATOR: (MUFFLED) “You have done it!” roared Chief Leo. “My, this crown truly befits the Chief of the Kings of the Jungle! Now, Andromeda, I shall show you your portal home!”

RITA: Boss, that wasn’t what I—

SOUND: BLADE UNSHEATHING.

(GASPS)

JUNO: Damn it, are you gonna yell every time this ride sneezes?

NARRATOR: (MUFFLED) But even as Leo brought her to the portal, Andromeda felt guilt bubbling in her stomach.

RITA: That ain’t it, boss! It’s a kn-n-n—

SOUND: LOW ELECTRIC HUM.

(GASPS)

SWIFT: No need to jump, sweetheart. That was just me getting my stun knife ready. Thought I saw something in the shadows – I wanted to be… prepared.

RITA: (WHISPERING) Mista… Steel…!

JUNO: (GROWLS)

SWIFT: Door’s just ahead. Mind letting us in, Juno? The sooner we get out of here, the better – I don’t like not having a clear line of sight.

JUNO (NARRATOR): If I wanted to catch Swift red-handed, it’d have to be soon… and I’d have to use one of the Theia’s functions that I’d never touched before.

So I touched it.

THEIA: Rec Mode activated.

JUNO: (QUIETLY) Yes!

THEIA: Fifteen minutes. Remaining.

JUNO: (QUIETLY) No!

SWIFT: What was that, Juno?

JUNO: Uh… nothing. The door’s just… jammed.

SOUND: DOORKNOB RATTLING.

THEIA: Error. Cannot deactivate Rec Mode. Please wait for time. Out.

JUNO: (MUTTERING) I’ll give you a time out, you lousy eyeball!

SWIFT: Have you tried the doorknob?

JUNO: Ohhhhh.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

Look at that! It was pretty stupid of me, I guess.

SWIFT: Day’s still young. Plenty of time to act stupider. Not that I’d recommend it. Now move. Please.

JUNO: I’m goin’!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Through the door was what looked like a central control room: a big, imposing terminal stood on one side, gathering dust, and there were two carts lined up on a track that snaked out the room through a tunnel in one side. Backups or maintenance carts, I guessed.

A control room in a ride that controls itself; a maintenance room the maintainers never checked. Not a bad place to lay a trap you didn’t want anyone to see.

JUNO: You sure you never heard about this before, Swift? Seems like a pretty major part of Andromeda and the Dragon’s Peak.

SWIFT: A major part of its maintenance, from the look of it. But, I’m not maintenance.

JUNO: Seems like a pretty big security risk to have all of your surveillance footage centralized for anyone to access.

SWIFT: This doesn’t have to get ugly, you know.

RITA: Wh-what?

SWIFT: I mean I’m a patient woman, but I’m not gonna stand for insults. I said I didn’t know about this room, that means I didn’t know about this room. I don’t want this to get ugly. But if you want a fight, Juno—

RITA: Oww!

SWIFT: —there’s a way this shakes out that looks bad for everyone.

JUNO: Alright, alright. Point taken. So… how do we make this look better?

SWIFT: That’s… a good question.

You made an interesting point. This system is pretty insecure, isn’t it? Think it’s so insecure you could crack it?

RITA: Oh, no, no no no, not him. Mista Steel can barely enter his PIN number, which is 33332, so forget about a two-hundred-digit password—

SWIFT: Just a flimsy password? That’s no good. Hey, if that’s all that’s keeping this ride from turning into a murder weapon, it really is dangerous. So, why don’t you head over to the terminal, and enter the password like Rita tells you. And if it works, I’m gonna have some stern words with Vega later.

RITA: I-I could just enter it myself, Yasmin—

SWIFT: Nope, I think you’re gonna stay right here with me. Go ahead, Juno. Enter the password. Or else this might get ugly.

JUNO (NARRATOR): So I walked up to the terminal and Rita started reciting the password.

RITA: Three, five, A, X, omega, twelve—

SOUND: SLOW BEEPS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): For five minutes.

RITA: —W, backwards-W, C-with-a-little-tail-thingy, five, six, seven, eight, umlaut-with-no-u, zero, and that’s it.

JUNO: Finally.

SOUND: ERROR BEEP.

What the hell? You sure zero was the end of it, Rita?

RITA: What? Zero wasn’t the end. I said ‘that’s it,’ didn’t I? You were supposed to type ‘that’s it.’

JUNO: You’re kidding me.

Alright. From the top. One more time.

JUNO (NARRATOR): So we burned another five minutes. And all the while, Swift stayed silent, smiling, and Theia ticked down.

THEIA: Rec Mode has. Five minutes. Remaining.

JUNO: (MUTTERING) I know, I know…

SOUND: BEEPS.

RITA: …seven, eight, umlaut-with-no-u, zero, and T… H… A… T—

JUNO: Yep, yep, got it, thanks.

SOUND: SUCCESS BEEP.

(SIGHS) Finally.

SWIFT: You’re in. Good. So let’s try to think like the saboteurs… what would they meddle with first?

I’m guessing… the controls to the different power lines are at the bottom left-corner of the screen. Seems like it’d be good for everyone if you checked those out, Juno.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And then I knew why she wanted me to use the damn terminal. Because if she did it, her back would have to be to us for the time it took her to enter the password… whereas if Rita did it, she might actually be able to cause some damage. Me, on the other hand – looking at those flashing buttons and switches and numbers and lights made me feel like my cyber-eye was gonna spin right out of its socket.

But I had to act. And if I was gonna convict Swift for this, well…

THEIA: Rec Mode has. Three minutes. Remaining.

JUNO (NARRATOR): …I had to act now.

Luckily, I still had something up my sleeve. Because Juno Steel doesn’t know a hell of a lot about computers, but he did pass all of his computer classes, which means there’s one thing he does know how to do: bluff.

SWIFT: Well?

JUNO: Yeah, don’t know how to break it to you, Swift, but I’m not seeing any “power” options. Just a lot of stuff about backup security footage… d’you know anything about this?

SWIFT: Backup what?

JUNO: Yeah, it says it was all recovered from drive wipes within the past twenty-four hours. Weird, huh? Should I play one?

SWIFT: Don’t touch that screen.

JUNO: But this is what we’re looking for, isn’t it? Let’s see what happened to that weird upturned cart earlier today.

SWIFT: Hands off the screen or your very pretty secretary gets it!

SOUND: BLADE UNSHEATHING, LOW HUM.

RITA: (SCREAMS)

SOUND: GUN COCKING.

JUNO: Drop the knife, Swift. The game’s up.

SWIFT: I told you it didn’t have to go this way, Juno. I don’t want to do this.

JUNO: Then don’t.

SWIFT: You’re not really in a position to be making demands. You messed up. It didn’t have to go this way. Now, slide that gun over to me, and then delete the footage like a good little lady.

JUNO: But—

SWIFT: Now!

RITA: Ow, ow, ow!

JUNO: Fine.

SOUND: CLUNK. SLIDE.

There. Happy?

SWIFT: It’s been a bad day, but at least it’s almost over. Now, delete the footage.

JUNO: What’s it show that you’re so scared of, Swift? The part where you waited for the engingeers who rode through earlier and flipped their cart? Or the part where you led them down the hallway at knifepoint?

SWIFT: Sure, I dragged the engineers in here. And sure, somewhere between here and the end of the track I… I mean, they got roasted. But knowing that isn’t gonna do you any good anymore, Juno, because you’re gonna wipe that evidence, and then you’ll have nothing. At. All.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And right on cue, my time ran out.

SOUND: BEEP.

THEIA: Rec Mode. Complete. The last fifteen minutes of video recording have been sent to. Ramses O’Flaherty. For analysis.

JUNO: Sure, Swift. Nothing. You want me to hit delete, here?

SWIFT: I do.

JUNO: There. Done.

SWIFT: …No it isn’t.

JUNO: What?

SWIFT: The terminal didn’t beep when you deleted it.

JUNO: Uh… “beep.”

SWIFT: I can see your mouth moving.

JUNO: No you can’t.

RITA: Ow! Boss!! Stop goofin’ around!!

JUNO: Alright, alright, I admit it. There were never any backups. I was bluffing, alright? I’ll go to your stupid power menu.

SOUND: BEEP.

There.

SWIFT: It’s about time. Now, play nice for three steps and we can be done with this nightmare, alright?

JUNO: Whatever you say.

SWIFT: Good. Activate Emergency Cart B.

JUNO (NARRATOR): There were five power lines on the screen. One: ‘Lighting and Audio’; two: ‘Carts and Robotics’; three through five: ‘Emergency Carts A, B, and C’. Only ‘Lighting and Audio’ was on. I tapped ‘Emergency Cart B.’

SOUND: BEEP.

And the first of the two carts in line started rolling away.

SOUND: WHEELS CLACKING ON TRACKS.

SWIFT: Good. Now, step two: catch.

JUNO: Huh?

SWIFT: (GRUNTS)

SOUND: QUICK FOOTSTEPS.

RITA: Whooaaa!

JUNO: Rita!

Oof!

SWIFT: And as for step three…

Hup!

SOUND: THUMP.

You stay here, and I catch my ride!

JUNO: Damn it, Swift! Get back here!

I gotta go after her, Rita.

RITA: Boss, I ain’t gonna let you run off again.

JUNO: No, you’re not. You’re gonna help me run off again, from here. I need you to.

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

Hup!

SOUND: THUMP.

RITA: Mista Steel! Get outta that cart!

JUNO: No can do. Think you can find a way to make this cart go faster than that one?

RITA: I… I mean, sure, it’d be as easy as activating Emergency Cart C – that’s your cart – and then, well I couldn’t do it all at once but if I got through the security protocol, I should be able to write a quick little virus that’ll sap power slowly from Cart B, and put it into your cart, so you keep goin’ faster, and it keeps goin’ slower, and—

JUNO: Sure, cool, whatever. Just do it.

RITA: But Mista—

JUNO: Now!

RITA: Oh, alright!

SOUND: KEYBOARD CLICKING. BEEP. WHEELS CLACKING.

Have fun on the ride without me, boss.

JUNO: I won’t. Watch me on the cameras, will ya?

RITA: Mista Steel, I am not just gonna watch you have fun.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Way off in the tunnel I could see Swift’s cart, and beyond her the green plains of Lion Village all over again. In the distance I heard the ride’s next room:

NARRATOR: (MUFFLED) But just as Andromeda was about to enter the portal back home, she heard the beating of terrible wings. “Draco!” the lions screamed. “The dragon is attacking!”

JUNO (NARRATOR): And then I had a really unpleasant thought. Swift knew Rita could operate the terminal, so she must have expected I’d come after her, and she must have had a plan. And then there were the engineers, who she’d dragged to this track before she roasted them – which explained where the missing Emergency Cart A went.

Then my own eye caught it an instant before Theia did: up there ahead, two little sparks, snapping on the walls of the tunnel.

I hit the deck just in time.

SOUND: FLAMES WHOOSHING.

Jets of fire screamed over me. I managed to duck the main blast, but sparks spilled over the side of the cart and caught on my coat. I flapped it out as best I could, and then the sunlight poured in. It was a relief to be out in Andromeda and the Dragon’s Peak again, where the fire was just hot air and nothing was what it appeared to be. Not even Security Chief Yasmin Swift, whose cart I was getting closer to every second, and who had my gun aimed at my head.

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

JUNO: Whoa!

SOUND: THUD.

SWIFT: (CALLING) Come out of there, Juno! You are not gonna make it to the end of this ride!

JUNO: (SHOUTING) Good. Isn’t there a big drop at the end? I hate drops.

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

SWIFT: (CALLING) Cart’s not thick enough to deflect laser fire! All I have to do is keep shooting holes in it, and one of them has to hit you!

SOUND: BLASTER FIRE.

NARRATOR: “You warned me, Andromeda, but I did not listen,” said Chief Leo. “Go on! Go through your portal home! The dragon will rage, and the lions will pay for my greed.”

JUNO: (SHOUTING) No, but seriously, how long do we have until the drop? I-I hate that sick feeling in your stomach when—

SOUND: BLASTER SHOT.

Well, guess you’re bored of that joke, huh?

NARRATOR: Andromeda looked at her portal. Home was within reach. Polaris at last. But a hero heeds the call.

SWIFT: (CALLING) Damn it! Sit still!

JUNO (NARRATOR): Swift’s cart banged into the doors to the next room and she lost her footing for a second—

SOUND: BANGS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): —just long enough for me to see what was comin’ next. A raging storm – leaves and lions tumbling in the wind. Carts ahead of us stretching up, and up, and up, and a robotic dragon looming overhead. Swift’s cart was slowing down, and mine was speeding up. In just a few seconds, it would be within reach.

SOUND: WIND BLOWING.

NARRATOR: And so Andromeda stepped out into the storm, and she shouted:

ANDROMEDA: I stole your treasure, Draco! Now fight me!

NARRATOR: And the dragon’s winds whisked her into the air.

SWIFT: Alright, Juno: stand up, and give up! …How the hell did you get so close?

JUNO: Your cart’s slowing down, Yasmin! Hup!

SOUND: THUD.

Ow!

SWIFT: Real graceful.

JUNO: Yeah, not my best, I’m a little distracted. Did I mention I don’t like big drops?

SOUND: BLADE UNSHEATHING.

Whoa!

SOUND: LOW ELECTRIC HUM.

SWIFT: This could still end easily. Stand still, and I’ll make sure you don’t have to feel anything.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Luckily I’d learned a thing or two from watching someone better than Swift work his way around a knife. She cut a good gash into my shoulder—

SOUND: SLASH.

JUNO: Agghh!!

JUNO (NARRATOR): —but it was nothing twenty stitches and a month of physical therapy couldn’t fix. Besides, she only took fifty percent of my shoulders, and in the brawl, I managed to get one hundred percent of her weapons.

JUNO: Hah!

SOUND: METALLIC CLATTER.

SWIFT: Damn it! My knife! I’ll get you—

JUNO: Hah!

SOUND: THUNK.

SWIFT: Damn it! Your gun!

JUNO: I basically only got the one move but it’s working out okay so far. Wanna punch it out?

SWIFT: Love to.

SOUND: GRUNTS, PUNCHES.

NARRATOR: Andromeda and the dragon wrestled through the storm, trading blow for blow!

JUNO: Wow, I have had enough Andromeda for today!

SWIFT: God, Juno, she’s the galaxy’s favorite hero! What is wrong with you?!

JUNO: Let’s not get into that. Speaking of heroes: what the hell?

SWIFT: What the hell what?

JUNO: You, the murders, the whole everything. Like, what?! You work putting smiles on kids’ faces at The Place That Fun Calls Home TM for a decade, and then one day you decide, “Actually, screw this, let’s burn it and a few engineers to the ground?”

SWIFT: You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!

NARRATOR (IN BACKGROUND): Andromeda and the dragon wrestled through the storm, trading blow for blow!

Hahh! JUNO: Yeah, you’re right. I probably don’t.

(GRUNTS) But I’m willing to listen.

SWIFT: You don’t know a goddamn thing. This all could’ve worked out, but you don’t know a god! Damn! Thing!

SOUND: GRUNTS, PUNCHES.

NARRATOR: Andromeda and the dragon wrestled through the storm, trading blow for blow!

SWIFT: It’s about priorities! It’s about doing what you have to do, no matter how much you’ll hate doing it! I’d do anything for her!

JUNO: Her… you mean your kid?

SWIFT: Don’t talk about her. (GRUNTS)

JUNO: Agh!

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Swift rang my church bell hard enough to make the angels nervous and I fell back against the corner of the cart. She was about to follow it up with a hit to send me really flying, too, until she noticed what Rita had been up to.

SOUND: CLANG. BRAKES SCREECH.

SWIFT: Why did the cart stop? What did you do?

JUNO (NARRATOR): Rita’s plan to sap the power from her cart to mine worked… a little too well.

We were frozen in place, now, at the crest of the ride’s biggest drop. The cart in front was stalled, no power at all, and the cart in back didn’t have the thrust to push both of them over the hill. A big, frozen robo-dragon hung over us, teeth still as stalactites and twice as sharp.

And below us lay Polaris Park, stretching out for mile after technicolor mile.

NARRATOR: And just before Andromeda killed the beast, she looked out… and saw through the distant portal. Polaris. The home she’d given up. Again.

SWIFT: Hah!

SOUND: PUNCH.

JUNO: Oof!

SWIFT: I’ve got you cornered, Steel. I don’t like to do this, you know. I’m not a killer at heart. Not really.

JUNO: (CHOKING) Funny way of showing it.

SWIFT: I didn’t like killing them, either. And I really, really don’t like killing this park. It’s worth more than all of you put together.

But you could never understand. I have to do this. A mother will do anything for her kid. You could never understand that.

JUNO: (CHOKING) Then why the hell are you doing it? Your kid doesn’t want this!

SWIFT: I don’t owe you anything! (GRUNTS)

JUNO: (CHOKING)

JUNO (NARRATOR): Above us, the metal dragon creaked to life. And there was no fire, not here, not this time, either. But…

Look, I didn’t mean to do it, alright? Because even if she was a killer, there aren’t enough people like Yasmin Swift. Everyone says they’d do anything for their kid, but the ones who mean it…

I don’t know. Maybe that’s just me.

SOUND: DISTANT WHEELS ON TRACKS.

SWIFT: The hell is that noise?

JUNO (NARRATOR): She looked away from me for just a second. And– I didn’t mean to do it. But… I guess, sometimes, no matter what the mouth says, the body wants to keep living.

So, without thinking… right before the cart Rita sent after us crashed into ours, I kicked Swift just enough to get her off-balance.

SOUND: THUMP. CLANK.

SWIFT (FADING OUT): Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!

JUNO: Swift!

Swiiiiiiiift!!

NARRATOR: And just before Andromeda killed the beast, she looked out… and saw through the distant portal. Polaris. The home she’d given up. Again.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

JUNO (NARRATOR): When I got off the ride I found Rita there waiting for me.

RITA: Mista Steel! I’m so glad you’re alright!

SOUND: SOFT THUD.

JUNO: Ah!

RITA: I was so worried! I saw you on the video cameras and that mean beautiful Yasmin lady had her fingers around your neck, and I thought oh gosh! But then I thought what if I activate the line with the robots and the carts on it, and then one of them saved you, just like I planned, boss!

JUNO: I knew you’d do it, Rita. That’s why I asked you to stay behind, remember?

RITA: And it makes me sad ‘cause she did go splat, but… you were in danger, Mista Steel, and I had to save you. You can count on me, boss. You can always count on me.

SOUND: MECHANICAL, RHYTHMIC NOISES.

VEGA: Ahem.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I looked up, and there was Lorenzo Vega, on two rusty legs. He still wasn’t smiling, but he didn’t look angry anymore. Now he just looked sad.

VEGA: Detective Steel. Meet me in my office. And Miss… Whoever-you-are, I don’t know how to repay you, but, this is a free park pass for you, if you want it, but if you’re tired of Polaris Park now I could under—

RITA: A free pass?! That’s mine, thank you! See you later, Mista Steel! Have fun at work—

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

(FADING OUT) —I’m gonna go eat my weight in popcorn and your weight in cotton candy and Frannie’s weight in glazed Saturn pops and the whole P.I. Registry’s weight in tiny pizzas!

VEGA: One of my engineers will show you to my office, Detective Steel. Don’t get lost.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Vega’s office was in the park’s back lot – behind the bright faces of the stores, in the dusty alleys where robo-puppets lay with their clockwork guts out and underpaid interns stood around with a cigarette in one hand and their cartoon costume’s head in the other.

The office itself was even more of a mess. Unfinished schematics on the wall, a three-foot-tall stack of work orders on the ground next to a chair, a pile of old Northstar merchandise on his desk – t-shirts and plastic mugs and action figures.

I poked through the toys for a minute, and before I knew it, one of them was in my hand.

SOUND: TOY SQUEAKS.

VOICE (FROM TOY SPEAKER): Here comes Turbo – the man of the future!

(AT THE SAME TIME) JUNO: Turbo’s here with turbo speed. TOY: Turbo’s here with turbo speed!

JUNO (NARRATOR): The voice nearly made me drop the damn thing. I used to have one of these. Hell, I used to have eight.

SOUND: TOY SQUEAK.

TOY: Stop right there, evil! The good guys always win!

JUNO: (QUIETLY) The good guys always… win.

JUNO (NARRATOR): My hands were shaking. I could remember it so clearly.

SOUND: TOY SQUEAK.

TOY: It’s time for justice! Stop right there, evil! The good guys always win!

SOUND: STRETCHING, RIP.

JUNO: (PANTING)

SOUND: DOOR OPENS. MECHANICAL, RHYTHMIC NOISES.

VEGA: Detective Steel. I see you’ve been having fun with my collectibles.

JUNO: Not really how I—

I mean… sorry.

VEGA: That toy was just a first-edition printing. Older than Andromeda. Older than you, most likely. As irreplaceable as Yasmin Swift.

JUNO: Don’t give me that. She was sabotaging your stupid—

VEGA: Or… as irreplaceable as Sarah Steel. That’s where I remember your name from, isn’t it? She was your mother.

JUNO: Listen, doc, I just want to wrap up this Yasmin Swift thing for Ramses and go on my miserable way.

VEGA: Sarah Steel… it’s been a long, long time.

I think I may even remember you. And that says something – I don’t bother to remember most people. She brought you into the office a few times, gave you your run of the Turbo merchandise. You and… oh, what was his name. Benjamin?

JUNO: Not Benjamin.

VEGA: Ben-something, anyway. You were charming children. …What happened?

JUNO: You’re the one with two metal legs, doc. I don’t think I gotta tell you that life plays a little rough sometimes.

VEGA: I was born without legs, actually. Life does ‘play rough’ – but so does birth. It’s not right, but that’s reality. Sarah seemed like life had given her challenges, too. I don’t think it was her fault, necessarily. Her being– I mean, Northstar letting her go like that.

JUNO: Didn’t ask.

VEGA: I was on the board that made the decision, and I don’t think we did anything wrong. I’ve never done anything I thought was wrong, but… we were just a little company back then. Everything we’d made was on the line! We only had the money to keep one of our writers and then your mother, trying to steal someone else’s work.

JUNO: What are you gunning for here, Vega? You want me to forgive you or somethin’?

VEGA: I just know things went poorly for her after that. Health-wise.

JUNO: Health.

VEGA: And I– expect that made things difficult for you. I’ve been thinking about that for thirty-four years, now. She doesn’t leave your mind easily, a person like Sarah Steel. Unique. Singular. A shame. She made some great things.

JUNO: So what? You want me to forgive you for firing her, or… something? Doc, I barely know the story. I don’t remember you. I was four.

VEGA: It was a difficult situation. She had some very real, well, needs. You might call them ‘moods’. And—

JUNO: Just… whatever. You want me to say I forgive you? Fine, “I forgive you.” But I really don’t care. And look: whether she had needs or moods or whatever you want to dance around and call it, the fact is she dealt with them for years, and then one day she stopped trying. Sarah Steel gave up. It was her fault, and it’s a good goddamn thing she’s dead because her mistake made a lot of misery for a lot of people. There. You happy?

VEGA: I would be a little more precise with my language, I think.

JUNO: Listen! If you don’t give me the junk you promised me on Swift right now—

VEGA: Yes, fine. We’ll drop it.

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BEEP.

There’s a clause in our staff contracts that states we legally own any personal communications made within Polaris Park. So I made a copy of all messages and comms calls she’s made at work for the past five years.

JUNO: That’s… terrifying.

VEGA: That’s industry standard. We have to make sure our secrets stay mum– uh, pop. There’s an untraceable line she spent a lot of time yesterday talking to; bartering over a job, a payment, a place to pick up the, ehm, incendiary-device, all that kind of thing. Originally they wanted Yasmin to kill a cart full of park guests, but… she wouldn’t have it. She always was stubborn.

JUNO: Just cut to the chase. Anything interesting in there?

VEGA: You might want to read the last message she received from that number. Here.

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BEEP.

JUNO: (SIGHS) “The first payment for your daughter’s procedure has been wired to Halo Medical. The remainder of your payment will be conducted in person once you’ve completed the job. Look for a woman with one ear outside the First Museum of Colonized History in… Hyperion City.”

It can’t be… the Piranha?

VEGA: If Ramses has an enemy, it follows that they’d be connected to his campaign in that roachhole. Why he wants to run it I’ll never understand.

JUNO: So whoever’s trying to get to Ramses, I’ll find a lead on them there.

It say what procedure her kid needed?

VEGA: I don’t see how that’s any of our business. And at any rate, any messages that got into specifics were sent outside of work hours, so…

JUNO: None of our business. Right.

Well, thanks for the lead, doc. I’ll put in a good word with Ramses.

VEGA: Do you like it in Hyperion City, Juno?

JUNO: Why do you care?

VEGA: Because…

Do you know the premise to the Andromeda stories? Generally, I mean.

JUNO: This important?

VEGA: I hope not. But… (CLEARS THROAT) Andromeda is the protector of Polaris, a beautiful kingdom of crystal and ice, until the day the evil wizard Orion casts a curse on her. She’ll wander the world forever, but no matter how she searches, she’ll never find her way home.

JUNO: This’d better be going somewhere.

VEGA: So Andromeda makes the best of it. She tries. Every day she follows the North Star, which lights the way to Polaris, and on her way she saves people, and stops Orion from hurting others. But she never breaks the curse.

JUNO: Pretty brutal for a kid’s show.

VEGA: Brutal? Maybe. I’ve always found it… beautiful. Sad, of course, but… Andromeda chooses not to accept any of the places she saves. She insists on going to this home, this place she can never go back to. And insists. And insists.

It’s ironic that the Andromeda pitch meeting is where your mother lost her… way.

MUSIC: STARTS.

Because in retrospect, Andromeda reminds me of Sarah. Lost, searching, never home…

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

Hold on, stop a moment. I’m trying to help you.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

JUNO: Think I’ve made it pretty clear how much I want this kind of help.

VEGA: You remind me of her, Juno. Truly incredible ability, a truly singular talent… with something powerful storming within you. Be careful. I’ve seen how that goes before.

JUNO: Later, doc. Really excited to never see you again.

SOUND: DOOR CLOSES.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Curses come in all shapes and sizes in this galaxy. Some curses come from evil wizards, and some come from a sickness you never asked for, and some come from a woman that nobody wants to let you shake, no matter how many years stand between you and her.

I was glad to get out of Polaris Park. I didn’t like to think about Northstar. I didn’t like to think about anything that reminded me of… her.

“Learn from the past or you’re doomed to repeat it,” they say. And maybe they’re right. But, if you take that too far, people shouting you down about the past every day, people telling you you’re going to be just like her, people saying the clock’s ticking and any day now you’re going to give up just like she did – that is a curse that fulfills itself.

I’m not going to be like her. I’m not.

(SNORTS) Famous last words, I guess.

MUSIC: ENDS.

***

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING, MUSIC.

CONDUCTOR: If you’ve enjoyed this tale, please consider donating to The Penumbra on Patreon. Our artists work tirelessly to bring you these stories, and if you have the means, we hope you will support our efforts. Every dollar helps. You can find that page at patreon.com/thepenumbrapodcast. If you support us on Patreon at the $10 level or higher, you’ll receive access to commentary tracks like this one, from actors Kate Jones, Joshua Ilon, and Bob Mussett:

SOUND: TRAIN STOPS, DOOR SLIDES OPEN, RAIN.

JOSHUA: …Y’know, we see Juno suffering, we hear the inside of his head, so we know what’s going on there. But to also see how his internal suffering also makes the people around him have a tough time, it’s… I mean he’s out there, with no regard for his life, and, Rita needs to remind him, there are– you might not care what happens to you, but other people care a lot about what’s happening to you.

KATE: I like that you’re alive, so if you could keep doing that.

JOSHUA: Right. Yeah, which is an important thing for Juno to hear, I think…

SOUND: DOOR SLIDES SHUT.

CONDUCTOR: You can also support The Penumbra by liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter @thepenumbrapod, following us on Tumblr @thepenumbrapodcast, telling your friends about us, telling your friends to tell their friends about us, and especially by rating and reviewing our podcast on iTunes. Every rating, comment, and kind word spreads our stories further and inspires us to keep creating more and better tales to come.

We would like to give special thanks to all who support us on Patreon, but especially to Lynné Herman, Charlie Spiegel, Francie Liana, Minchowski, Gray, Jaimie Gunter, and the Princess and the Scrivener for their incredibly generous contributions per episode. Thank you.

This tale, Juno Steel and the Dragon’s Den, was told by the following people: Joshua Ilon as Juno Steel, Kate Jones as Rita, Sarah Gazdowicz as Yasmin Swift, Bob Mussett as Lorenzo Vega, and M. Sutherland as the narrator.

On staff at The Penumbra: Kevin Vibert is our lead writer and recording engineer. Sophie Kaner is our director and sound designer. Grahame Turner is our script editor. Noah Simes is our production manager. Alice Chung is our designer and financial manager. Original music by Ryan Vibert. Promotional art by Mikaela Buckley.

The Penumbra is created and produced by Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert.

I’m afraid this is the end of the line for today, dear Traveler. We hope you will ride with The Penumbra again soon.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

[even-my-ph0ne-blog]

count the headlights (pt. 1)

The one where the team goes on a road trip, and Y/N ends up sitting shotgun next to Harry.

Thanks for reading! This is my first piece of writing on here, and it’s a bit slow to set the scene but more will be coming! Feel free to submit any feedback or requests you might have here.

Also, feel free to check out my masterlist for more!

---------------------

“Nope, we’re all too tired. Y/N, you’ve gotta take the front!” 

You groaned as you heard Clare’s words. Since Sarah had gotten you the job as Harry’s publicist a few months ago, you had come to accept the fact that, as the newest member of the team, you were firmly positioned at the bottom of the totem pole. Unfortunately, this role meant that you often got to do the things that nobody else wanted to do, like have to stay awake as you rode shotgun on the 10 hour group road trip.

After tossing your luggage into the truck of the matte black Range Rover that was waiting for you all at the airport valet, you rounded the car and hopped into the passenger seat.

“Fine. But if I’m navigating, we’re stopping for snacks.” You muttered, somewhat under your breath, but apparently not quiet enough for Harry to miss, who let out a muffled chuckle as he buckled into the driver’s seat. 

The team had just touched down in Boston, and for some reason Harry had insisted upon taking a group road trip. Despite the protests from everybody on the flight over, who wanted to spend the night clubbing downtown, Harry had decided that a road trip up to Maine of all places would be a great way to spend the evening: “Come on, it’ll be good for morale. Plus, I’ve heard the scenery is beautiful this time of year.” 

You nestled into the leather seat and put your sunglasses on to block out the now setting sun that shone directly into your eyes as Harry shifted the car into drive. 

“Come on, love, will it really be that bad having to sit next to me for the ride?” Harry looked over to you from the driver’s seat with a smirk, sporting the same pair of sunglasses you had on. You chuckled lightly in acknowledgement, unsure of what to say. While you had been working for the band for a few months now and had been close friends with Sarah since childhood, you still felt like an outsider when around the group. It wasn’t that the group wasn’t welcoming, just that you felt like the odd one out. It was tough, given that the group had all gotten to know each other through performing over the past year or so, and you had just come on in a marketing role as a gig Sarah hooked you up with right out of university.

To make matters worse, you hadn’t really gotten to know Harry outside of the business side of the whole thing. Despite being only a few years older than you, he was still technically your boss, and having not spent much time with him outside of managing his social media through touring, you still felt rather tense around him. 

“Let’s hear some music, then, Y/N? Hop on the aux!” Mitch’s voice called up to you from the back seat. 

“Alright, alright, I’m getting there.” You sigh as you unlock your phone and tap over to the Spotify app, shuffling the “pre-con” collaborative playlist the team had developed over the course of the tour for playing backstage before concerts, knowing that none of the songs on it would raise objections from the other riders in the car. The first song to play on the shuffle was Tongue Tied by Grouplove, and as the first note bellowed through the speakers, Sarah, Mitch, and Clare’s faces all lit up and they began to belt the first verse with perfect harmony. You kept quiet in the front seat - while you did spend what seemed to be your entire life these days around performers, you wouldn’t count singing as one of your strongest skills.

---------------------

After a few hours had passed, the sun had set and the group voted to stop for a quick meal. Sarah, Mitch, and Clare practically sprinted out of the car and into the rest stop, getting into the queue at McDonald’s inside and each ordering their own spread from the menu. You followed slowly behind and, once finally inside, glanced over the menu and decided that the best option was to order a simple set of fries and a shake. 

Once everybody had received their order, you all piled back into the car and took back to the highway. Music having resumed, the backseat was back into their full-force karaoke session - each member belting out notes in between bites of burgers and fries. You glanced over and noticed that Harry hadn’t ordered anything.

“You weren’t hungry?” You spoke to Harry over the music, which was still blaring through the speakers.

He smiled and tapped his fingers lightly on the steering wheel. 

“Nah, McDonald’s isn’t really my thing, I picked it mostly because I know it’s Clare’s favorite on the road. I’ve personally never understood.” Harry kept his eyes on the road as he spoke, and you couldn’t help but notice the level of poise that he maintained at all times. Of course, he would pick a dinner option that he knew was Clare’s favorite. While you didn’t know him that well personally, it hadn’t been difficult to pick up over the past few months that he was an extremely caring person - always putting others over himself. In the moment, you also couldn’t help but notice how well the light highlighted the sharp contour of his jawline. Despite the fact that you all had been traveling for over 20 hours, between your flight and the time you had been driving since landing at the airport, he somehow managed to look so effortlessly put together. 

Distracted by your thoughts, you were nearly startled when you heard his voice cut through the music again.

“Speaking of which, what on earth are you eating?” You looked down at the fries in your hand, covered in the vanilla milkshake that you had just dipped them in.

“Umm... fries and a shake?” Your voice wavered slightly as you replied to him, confused by his question.

“No, no. I mean why are you eating them like that.” Harry looked over to you, and it was the first time over the course of the car ride that you two had made eye contact. It was distracting, really. You had been close to him before, but the way the highway lights shone against his emerald green eyes was somehow so incredibly captivating. 

“Oh, uh, you mean dipping them?” You broke eye contact briefly to gesture down at the fries in your hand, and Harry nodded in response. You couldn’t believe that he had never seen someone eat fries that way before.

“You mean to tell me that, you, Harry Styles, who has traveled the world countless times, has never seen someone dip fries into a milkshake?” You raised your eyebrows at him, making eye contact once again. Harry glanced back at the road before turning back to you to respond.

“I mean, yeah. Isn’t that, like, kinda gross?” You let out an audible laugh, before lifting the fries over the center console towards him. Upon you doing so, he looked back at you, confused, so you began to explain.

“Go ahead, try it. It won’t kill you. Believe me.” You lifted the fries up slightly to gesture to him to try them, holding the cup with your milkshake underneath so as not to drip milkshake onto his sweater. He raised his eyebrows at you once again, scrunching his nose slightly before opening his mouth for you to feed him the fries. After a minute of deliberation and switching lanes to pass another car on the highway, he turned to you.

“Okay, I’ll admit that was pretty good.” His lips turned up in a soft smile, and you giggled.

“See?! I told you. It’s the best way to eat them.” You grinned, proud to have shown him something that he had never seen before. 

“Yeah, you’re right. Although I’m not sure you’re right about them not killing you. Looks like our passengers have eaten themselves into a little food coma back there.” Harry smirked as he glanced into the rear-view mirror and nodded towards Sarah, Mitch, and Clare in the backseat. You turned and noticed that all three of them had somehow managed to fall asleep. Letting out a laugh, you turned back to Harry and noticed that he had been looking over at you the whole time, his lip between his thumb and index finger. After a couple seconds of eye contact, he cleared his throat and turned his eyes back to the road, and you could feel the heat surging to your face as you averted your glance to your food and blushed. Although you probably shouldn’t, you had to admit that you found it utterly charming how observant he was, and how quick with the banter he seemed to be.

Barely audible, you heard his voice again, although you weren’t sure if you were meant to.

“Guess I’ll have to see what else there is to you, love.”

---------------------

Thanks so much for reading! You can find pt. 2 here.

[thebritishblabbermouth]

BTS Mafia Scenario: Jungkook

Heyya there gorgeous souls :))

Here is part 5 of the BTS mafia scenario as requested by @atricksterwithwings

I suggest reading parts 1,2,3 and 4 before this (especially part 1 and 4) just so you know what I am talking about... I mean you don't have to but I recommend the extra read (I have tried my very best not to disappoint my readers 🙈) 

Links: 

Part 1: Jin and Namjoon

Part 2: JHope 

Part 3: Suga

Part 4: Taehyung 

Part 6: Jimin and Epilogue 

The request presented was: BTS Mafia AU when they see their S/O after 2 years apart.

Although... Without further ado.. Here we have our Golden Makane in action!

Please let me know how you like it! Message as an anon or directly.. I don't mind :))

Jeon Jungkook:

‘’Tae…hand me my gun yeah? And the gloves too, they’re in those drawers.’’ I said, pointing to the furniture that held our armoury.

Kim Taehyung loved to play around, especially in the most mundane of situations. Coffee and Creams was his favourite shop in all of Seoul, the dim lighting of the café along with the chipping paint and creaking coffee machines did nothing to spoil his mood. This particular evening was supposed to be ours. Playing board games, cooking and making music. If only Namjoon hadn’t called from Exquila, something about getting back at Mr Choi, a prospective client that had almost ruined his evening. Plans had to be rescheduled and my moping brother pouted as he handed me my accessories. ‘’Tae hyung! Could you show me some respect!’’ he replied, slapping the gloves into my palm.

‘’Of course hyung…and my boots too please.’’ I said, smirking.

Taehyung crossed his arms and stood pencil straight, tapping his feet on the wooden floor in annoyance. ‘’You’re lucky I love you.’’ 

Bangtan sonyeondan constituted a bunch of misfits. We were a group of rogue fighters, shooters and ruler breakers, each member wrapped in his own history of pain and anger. But between was unity and strength- keeping us connected as brothers- as a family. It wasn’t that we didn’t fight, in fact our arguments could span weeks on end, complete with cold stares and whispered curses. However, even amongst the most heated of cold wars, we would gladly take a bullet for one another. 

I zipped up my jacket and palmed the glock that lay tucked into the small of my back. ‘’I’ll be back by tomorrow at the latest, we can get lunch together. Mr Choi isn’t a hard target and besides, you already finished off his so called right hand tonight.’’

Taehyung nodded, and continued to check his phone. He sighed at the lack of notifications and I was tempted to question why he kept checking the device. It had been a saga of phone checks and disappointment all evening.

Placing it down onto the slab, he walked over to me and bent down to tie up my laces. Double knots for safety. I’d always be the makane, and I’d always be babied around. It was an unspoken rule- something I hadn’t agreed on. ‘’Joonie was supposed to strike a deal with Choi, not scare him away. He sounded so distraught on the phone? As if he were crying? I don’t understand, Choi is all riled up at the disrespect. With Suga hyungs wedding around the corner, Jesus, I really want all the loose ends tied up. Noona isn’t going to like it if a bunch of thugs crash her ceremony.’’ He said, finishing up with my shoes.

‘’That’s probably why Hyung asked me to put an end to this tonight. And you don’t always have to do up my laces you know!’’ I scoffed as he tiptoed to ruffle my hair.

We walked out into the darkness behind the coffee shop and Taehyung checked his phone for umpteenth time, his face lighting up as the ding of a text alert broke through the night.

‘’Ahh Jungkookie, we’ll have to postpone our plans, I have my own business to take care of.’’ He said, grinning. I hadn’t seen him smile like that in a while, but as a curious as I was, there was work to do, and my bike needed fuel for the long journey.

‘’Fine then…Ditch me for your plans. I’ll see you later Tae!’’ I answered, climbing onto the Enfield.

I revved the engine and it spurred to life, the noise drowning my brother’s scream. ‘’Yah! Tae HYUNG!’’

‘’I know your name TaeTae!’’ I said, laughing as I drove into the night. ‘’And I love you too!’’

My rear view mirror sparkled with his smiling face as he walked back into the coffee shop, ready to open it for business at 9 am.

‘’Could you top up the tank please.’’ I said to the employee at the petrol station. His head was covered with a baseball cap and he seemed frail beyond doubt, the blue overalls too large for his frame. It was a rough job, working at a gas station, and it required extreme amounts of patience and will. It must’ve been even harder to work in such a place when you weren’t physically adept to handle the unruly truck drivers and generically rude customers. The small man had even smaller hands as he reached out to grasp the dispenser and it didn’t take me long to realise that the worker was a woman. Her pale wrists were covered in black grease and wisps of her hair were escaping from the ponytail.

‘’That would be 30,000 won sir.’’ She answered, not once looking up from the floor. I nodded in response and pulled out the wallet from my jacket, ready to hand her the money. The interaction wasn’t an unusual one at all, but what piqued my interest was the way she angled her body to hide behind my own when another vehicle made its way into the service station.

The woman raised her head for the first time that night and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. It had been two years since the end of high school, I had changed in more ways than one. But she hadn’t aged a day. It didn’t make any sense, I mean, why was the school beauty working at a petrol station?  She had the brains to garner admission into which ever college she desired, and the kindness to rule over any heart she pleased.

It hadn’t been hard for the loner boy at the back of the class to develop a racing heart every time she smiled his way. It hadn’t been hard for the same loner boy to stand before her today and not have the exact blush grace his own features. She was still beautiful, and she still didn’t know who he was.

‘’I know this may sound awkward but, could you please, stay here? Just until they leave?’’ she whispered, her eyes pleading at the request.

‘’I…don’t mind. Are they trouble?’’ I answered, covering her from the black Toyota. Men began to pool out from the vehicle, the cigarettes dangling from their stained lips, arms carrying the sharpest of knives. It was surprising to see them dressed in suits and it didn’t take me long to recognise one particular face. Choi.

‘’They don’t usually pay, and um…it’s pretty late right now. I don’t want trouble. Usually one of the other employees handles them but he’s on holiday today. I don’t….’’ she said, hiding further into my frame.

I handed her the keys to my bike and pressed her shoulders in reassurance, hopefully there wouldn’t be too much bloodshed. ‘’I’ll take care of them, why don’t you turn around hmm? I don’t think you want to see this.’’

She bobbed her head furiously and clutched the keys to her chest. I could only smirk at her actions.

‘’Where’s the pretty girl that hides behind the cash register! I wanted her to top us up tonight!’’ bellowed one of the men, the tight suit didn’t do well to hide his own gun.

‘’I am the only one hear gentlemen.’’ I said, walking up to the loud group. It didn’t take long for Choi to identify me and he sniggered at the recognition.

‘’Well, well, well…Bangtan have sent their Makane to handle me have they? It’s a pity we can destroy you in seconds, Namjoon really isn’t paying his respect to a potential business partner. It seems like you people are really underestimating my skills, sending in your weakest link to deal with me and my team.’’ Choi smirked in confidence at his own monologue and I smiled in return. If only they knew what was coming.

‘’I apologise on Namjoon’s behalf, he should’ve gutted said potential partner when he had the chance to. My brother can be a real saint with forgiveness at times.’’ I replied, rolling up the sleeves of my biker jacket. I walked over to fuel dispenser and proceeded to take the pipe into my hands.

‘’You have no idea who you’re messing with boy.’’ Said Choi as he sauntered over to my direction and took his own gun out of his pocket. It didn’t take long for him to clock it into position and hold it to my head. I could hear you gasp for air, hiding behind bike and my heart clenched at what you were about to witness.

I removed the cork from the fuel tank on the Toyota and placed the pipe into place. ‘’What's the need for all of that? I only wanted to fill up your tank. Tch Tch. Why the hostility?’’

‘’I don’t have a lot of patience nor do I have the time to deal with this, so let’s cut this short yeah?’’ said Choi, grasping the gun with both hands, trying to steady himself.

I sauntered over to the man with the cigarette between his teeth and pulled it from his lips. He seemed surprised at my action and palmed the knife that was securely tucked into his waist. ‘’What’s the rush?’’ I answered, taking a small drag. Cigarettes were the worst sort of invention, and I had never smoked a day in my life but desperate times often called for desperate measures. ‘’This is low tar? Does your boss not treat you well?’’ I took out the pipe from the car and ran my hand over the rim of the tank.  ‘’Now then Mr Choi, I suggest you take your gun off of my head or else, we’re all going to die the minute your car fills up.’’ I said, pointing the cigarette to the tank.

It didn’t take long for the knives to be pulled out, but these men were incompetent- amateurs at most. The way they held their weapons screamed fear and insecurity.

‘’Jungkook-ssi…really…you shouldn’t be doing this,’’ said Choi, lowering his gun and signalling the others to do so, the sweat on his brow as clear as day.

I raised the cigarette above the gas tank once more, inducing fear into their souls. ‘’I probably shouldn’t, so how about your minions drop all their armoury, get into the car and drive away. It won’t take too long will it?’’

The men were quick to drop their knives, scurrying into the car and leaving their bewildered leader to his own wits. I had anticipated Choi would pick up his own gun, but what I had not thought of was him aiming the barrel to you. It was only traditional he held you in a lock, his forearm pressed against your neck from behind, your trembling fingers unable to escape his grip. As soon as I had understood what he was trying to do, my own gun stood ready and loaded, pointing at his forehead.

‘’Such a pretty girl…all for my taking…You thought I couldn’t hear your cries love?’’ he said, tracing the nozzle of the pistol over your jaw. ‘’Jungkook-ssi…lower it will you? You know the drill…’’ Choi slurred, the golden metal embedded in replacement of his incisor gleaming, against the light.

Unnecessary issues, problems, civilians made bait between gang wars. This was something Bangtan hated. It was not your fight, it was mine, yet the gun was pointed at you. Bending down I placed my own glock onto the concrete, my eyes never leaving your tearing ones. It was a silent understanding, and I was amazed you grasped the situation so well. You clenched the keys tightly in your palm, pointing the metal towards Choi’s groin. I assumed it had taken all of the power in your body to plunge them into his thigh, the gun in his hand flying out of his clutch instantly. Seconds more and the barrel was pointing at him, the trusty glock not giving him a second to think as he doubled over in pain.

‘’Could you cover your ears for me? Just really tightly?’’ I said, without turning my head to your shaking form. I had to trust you did as you were told before pulling the trigger and ending his pathetic life. Two more shots fired to the perhaps broken CCTVs at the petrol station and I was standing next to you, crouching down to meet your gaze.

‘’It’s done…Are you okay? Don’t…don’t cry please?’’ I whispered, afraid that if I touched you, you would break into a thousand pieces. Instead, your sobs heightened in volume as you buried your head into my jacket. The touch sending shivers down my spine.

‘’You killed a man…Jungkook. You killed him!’’ you screamed, unable to control yourself.

I froze at the question, my hands-held mid -air just as I was about to caress your quaking back. I had killed a man. And until today, I hadn’t thought twice about it. Choi was a piece of scum, a debt to the world and he had been obliterated today- lying in a pool of his own blood- just as he had obliterated thousands before him.

My thoughts were frantic, running through images of the countless children and women he had slaughtered, but was I any different to him? Taking another human’s life, regardless of reason was wrong. You thought I was wrong. In that moment, nothing else seemed to matter. ‘’But you saved my life…I don’t know what to think anymore…Thank you…but I am not sure what I should be doing…’’ you said, angling your face upwards to mine.

‘’If you’ll let me…I mean- if you trust me…we can go to our headquarters. It’s not too far from here…you’ll be safe there. You can leave whenever you want...-‘’ I replied, holding my breath in fear of your response. It took you a minute to analyse my offer, a minute that seemed like centuries to my brain. I had butchered assassins in a heartbeat, taken bullets to my rib cage but nothing compared to this feeling. You were gripping my soul with each breath and you had no idea of it.

Standing to your feet, you brushed the dirt away from your overalls and attempted to steady yourself on the ground. Choi’s lifeless body lay before us, the blood seeping through his clothes and you couldn’t tear your eyes away. ‘’Okay…’’ you whispered.

‘’Hoseok will be here in a few minutes, to clean and sweep. His girlfriend is at home too…so is Hee Young…she’s 10 years old and she really is lovely, she’ll want to braid your hair.’’ I said, pointing to your long locks. ‘’Taehyung is there too…you remember him? From school? And Jimin…him and his wife are probably making dinner…he can’t cook well but-‘’

‘’Jungkook…it’s okay…I am okay…let’s go home.’’ You replied, calming me with your answer.

You called it home. And my heart couldn't help but consider it the most domestic of words, even more so when it came from your cracked but kissable lips.

It didn’t take long for us to climb onto the bike, your small form glued onto my back as we rode. But I couldn’t contain myself until we arrived, ‘’you remember my name?’’ I said. My question seemed to have fallen upon deaf ears as you snuggled further into my back, sleep over taking your senses. I tightened your hold around my torso, happy at the warmth seeping into me.

If only Jungkook had paid attention to your voice above the rumble of the engine, he would’ve heard you loud and clear,

‘’There hasn’t been a day I havent thought about you loner boy.’’

[huxlingmags]

Kinktober 2017

Day 1: Sleepy sex; aphrodisiacs

Fandom: Borderlands

Setting: Post-Pre-sequel, Helios

Characters: Timothy Lawrence; Handsome Jack

Pairing: Jackothy

Words: 1354

           Timothy was still getting his bearings around Helios. He knew the bare bones of the space station, but he was hardly given much of a chance to explore since the Lost Legion incident. Getting around was no problem, but remembering where the damn coffee shop was and where certain bathrooms were located was a pain in the ass. Nothing was worse than sauntering around the space station, masquerading as your boss, and looking lost while hurriedly seeking a bathroom.

           Thank goodness for the ECHO net.

           Jack had given him a task earlier that day to deliver something secure to the scientists in R&D. Whatever it was, Timothy had no idea. Jack was vague, saying it had something to do with a fascinating, new critter found in the wastelands of Elpis. His best guess was it had something do with that, and Jack probably wanted to know how he could best utilize whatever they found. The sort of thing was of no interest to the doppelganger. He liked the more technical parts of the job, lingering about in engineering and doing some data work for Jack whenever he had the opportunity.

           Upon reaching R&D, Timothy had a difficult time figuring out where the hell this scientist was. Ever since Jack had vented the entire R&D team, Timothy had to re-learn where each new employee was. Part of him lamented that Nakayama wasn’t a part of it, but he was hardly the kind of guy to wish death on people. Even if they were creepy, and smelled weird. Evidently, his voyage around the department got him lost deep in the recesses of the building and the body double wound up in a sort of quarantine zone.

           Perfect.

           In hindsight, seeing the sign should have signaled that he should immediately activate his Oz kit, but no readings on his watch gave him the notion that whatever particles in the air were remotely dangerous. It didn’t take Timothy much longer until he found the scientist he was looking for and handed him the materials Jack had ordered him to deliver. The scientist initially regarded Timothy with concern, especially since he was greeted by a person in a full safety suit and he, himself, was dressed in his normal clothes. He supposed since he was hardly going to be around long, that it wouldn’t do too much damage.

           Boy was he wrong about that.

           As Timothy made his way back to his quarters, having completed all his tasks for the day, he was feeling more than a little dizzy. Warmth crawled over his skin, making him feel almost feverish. The body double grumbled tiredly, supposing he would just change, shower, and get some rest if it was just the oncoming of a sickness. The closer he got to his private room, the dizzier he was. All thoughts of him doing anything productive to stave off whatever sickness he had been struck with were tossed out the window as he settled for flopping onto his bed and passing out.

           ~

           Timothy woke up after a good hour or so to his ECHO going off repeatedly. He groaned and answered, knowing it was most definitely his boss calling. “Yeah…?”

           “Been trying to get ahold of you for awhile, Timtams. You had me thinking you were either ignoring me or dead.”

           “Might as well be…” he muttered as he buried his face into the pillow.

           Jack furrowed his brow. “Your face is red. I interrupt you doing something, pumpkin?”

           “Think I’m coming down with something really…” Timothy’s words were slurred and he struggled staying awake. “Tryin’ to sleep it off.”

           “Right right right, don’t let me keep you up, cupcake. I’ll come in and check on you later.”

           Timothy mumbled something in response and wound up passing out again.

~

           When Timothy woke up again, it was because he was engulfed in complete warmth. His body was on fire and his mouth was dry. Groaning, he managed to drag himself out of bed and chug a couple cold glasses of water. The heat was becoming unbearable, so he ended up tossing aside the ugly Hyperion sweater and kicking off his boots. By the time he shuffled back to bed, he noticed the tenting of his pants. Why? He grumbled incoherently and resided himself to laying back to take care of it. As luck would have it, he wound up falling asleep with his hand in his pants, hardly having the willpower anymore to deal with it on his own.            

           And, of course, with the way his string of bad luck was going, Jack had come in to check on his esteemed doppelganger, only to stand there with a bemused grin.

           “Well, buttercup, thought you said you weren’t feeling well.”

           “M’not…” he chuffed.

           Jack tutted him and crawled beside his doppelganger, pulling him into a position where Jack was spooning him from behind. “Heard back from the scientist. You should have put on your Oz kit, genius. Apparently, the creature they captured was emitting powerful pheromones that act as an intoxicating aphrodisiac. Guess they picked them up during peak mating season. Something like that. Good thing they told me. Guess you’re just stuck hard and nothing you can do about it.” The CEO seemed to just ramble on and on, making Timothy groan at his incessant talking.

           “Boss…” he all but whined.

           “Shh…I’ve got you.” Jack whispered into his ear before he licked a trail up his neck. Careful hands roamed the Timothy’s toned chest, feeling at indentions and scars that littered his perfectly identical body. The body double shuddered at the cool touch, pressing himself back against Jack in need. This reaction earned a wide, shark-like grin from Jack as he boldly started to remove Timothy’s pants to leave him naked. It was hardly fair that he, himself, was still fully clothed, but his primary concern was on Timothy at present. “Jeez, kiddo, this thing really got to you. Look how hard its got you.”

           Timothy let out a huff as he squirmed against the CEO. “Jus’ hurry up.” He was impatient and really just needed some kind of relief.

           “Ah-ah.” Jack scolded as he tapped at his asscheek. “I call the shots, kiddo.” For added measure, his free hand moved to take hold of Timothy’s weeping cock, giving it a few good strokes.

           The doppelganger only let out a needy sound, hips jerking for more of that needed friction. “Please…”

           “Since you’re being a good boy, I won’t make you do too much work.” Jack purred as his hands were suddenly moved away from Timothy’s body to fuss with his belt and pants to get them off.

           “What are you--?” His voice trailed off as he felt Jack’s dick slide between his asscheeks.

           “Just gonna rut against this gorgeous ass of your’s.” Jack spoke in a low whisper as he started to move his hips against Timothy’s backside, encouraging a groan from the younger man.

           The way Timothy feeling was unreal. He was surrounded in warmth and it pooled in his abdomen as Jack’s arousal rubbed against his rear whilst a hand was stroking his neglected member. Hands gripped at the sheets beneath him and his sticky and sweaty face was pressed against his pillow to attempt to muffle his whimpering. This feeling felt similar to floating as he drifted between sleep and wake each time Jack paused his movements to slap at the fleshier side of his ass again. Drifting here and there gave Timothy the illusion that they had been at it for a long time and it was hardly much longer before the body double tensed and came on his belly and Jack’s hand, earning a hearty chuckle from his boss before the CEO eventually came on Timothy’s backside.

           “You’ve been holding out, Timtams. I’ve been neglecting you.” Jack observed as he licked the excess cum from his fingers. “Guess I’ll stick around in case you need to get off again. Doc said the aphrodisiac tends to linger for a few days.”

           This was definitely not something Timothy signed up for, but…he was hardly going to complain.

[carey-pricemas]

Stuck- Connor McDavid

Ok so I went fluffy with this instead of smutty anon so I hope that's ok! Also pineapple on pizza discourse is mentioned! Anyway enjoy guys!

Warning: none

Anon Request: Stuck in the elevator with Connor mcdavid pls

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              Your day literally couldn't get any worse.

              You had woken up late, spilled coffee all over your white shirt, your boss yelled at you for someone else's mistake, and you were rear-ended on the way home.

              You ran your hand through your hair as you stepped onto the elevator.

              Home. You were five floors away from a nice hot bath, a bottle of wine, and whatever you could dig out of the freezer for diner.

              Pathetic, party of one.

              "Hold the door!" You stuck your arm out to keep the elevator from closing as your neighbor rushed into the elevator carrying a pizza. "Thanks" he said. You smiled at him and tapped the 5 button. "How was your day?" he asked as the doors slid closed.

              "Oh um" you paused. "It sucked to be honest." He chuckled.

              "I'm sorry to hear that."

              "What about-" you were cut off as the elevator made a terrible noise and stopped, the lights flickering off. "Oh my god."

              "Crap" he muttered. He stepped forward and tried to press all the buttons, but nothing worked. He finally pressed the red emergency button.

              "What is your emergency?"

              "The elevator got stuck" he said. The voice gave him some instructions to try and jump start it, but when nothing worked, she said she would send someone, but it would be a while. "Thanks." He stepped back and sat down. "Why don't you have a seat? Sounds like it will take some time."

              "This is just the cherry on top" you said as you slid down to sit next to him. He chuckled and you shot him a wry smile.

              You didn't know anything about him except he seemed nice, always said hello when he passed by you, was super cute, kept weird hours, and always smelled terrible.

              Although right now he just smelled like pizza, which was making you hungry.

              "I'm (Y/N)" you said, holding out your hand.

              "Connor" he said grinning. He shook your hand and you noticed how big his hands were. "I guess we really haven't ever met have we?"

              "No normally I'm coming home when you're leaving."

              "Ah well you know how it is." He gave you a sheepish shrug.

              "Actually I don't. You always seem to keep weird hours."

              "Wait" Connor looked at you with hope. "You don't know who I am?"

              "...Should I?"

              "Everyone else in Edmonton does."

              "Ok well" you pushed your hair back. "I don't."

              "Want some pizza?" he asked, changing the subject. He opened the lid of the box and grabbed a piece before pushing it in your direction.

              "...There are pineapples on that pizza."

              "Don't knock it until you try it" he said. You took a piece and sniffed it before taking a tentative bite. The sweetness of the fruit and savory of the ham it was paired with exploded in your mouth. You moaned and took another bite. "I've made someone a believer!"

              "This is really good. I can't believe it!"

              "My friend introduced me to it." You both sat in silence eating the pizza. "You know the Edmonton Oilers?"

              "Yeah it's a hockey team." You looked at him and waited. Connor stared at you, waiting for something to click in your mind.

              "You seriously don't know who I am!"

              "Look Connor" you rolled your eyes. "I've had a terrible day and I know it’s a crime in Canada, but I'm not a diehard hockey fan. So who are you, oh noble Connor?" Connor laughed.

              "You heard the name Connor McDavid?"

              "Yeah" you said. "They call him the next Gretzky. The captain right?" Connor nodded. "What does he have to do with- OH MY GOD." You looked at Connor with wide eyes. "You're-"

              "In the flesh" he joked.

              "No way. That's so cool!" Connor laughed. "I promise now that I know I won't bother you about it." You crossed your finger over your heart. "Neighbor's promise."

              "Well" Connor scratched the back of his neck. "I hope you will. I've actually been meaning to ask you out. See if you wanted to come to a game some time and then get dinner with me?"

              "I'd like that, Connor" you said smiling. "You're pretty cute, even if you smell."

              "I do not-" Connor was cut off as the lights flickered back on and the elevator continued its upward climb. You both rose to your feet as you reached the fifth floor, rushing out of the confined space.

              Connor walked you down the hall to your door.

              "Well then Connor. You know where I live. Don't be a stranger" you said with a wink. He grinned at you as you slid inside. You had just enough time to kick off your heels before you heard a knock at the door. You opened it back up to reveal Connor.

              "You said to not be a stranger."

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Ok there you go! Let me know what you guys thought! Up next: Auston smut or Alex Nylander for everyone!

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 80 - NSH - Didn’t Suck

John Vogl of the Athletic wrote an article last week called “How a Tuesday Night in December set a fateful tone for the rest of the Sabres’ Season”. It’s another excellent work by one of the better elder statesman of Buffalo Hockey media but more importantly it helps one in having an honest conversation about what this season is, was, and will be remembered as. One might look back on February 20th as some kind of turning point this season as well when Jason Botterill said he supported Coach Housley and a coaching change was not imminent. The post-vote of confidence part of the season, roughly Game 60 on (Buffalo has been 3-14-3 in that time), has been so bad it’s forced even optimists like me to swim in the deep ocean of miserable Sabres takes. I hate doing that if that hasn’t been clear and I was the kind of guy who didn’t think their playoff chances were really dead until that four-game losing streak earlier in February. I’m rehashing all these turning points for a couple reasons. For one, I’ve already spent one of these blogs covering an Amerks game and another entirely on coaching. I’m running out of shticks and there are still two games left. The other reason is that facing Nashville tonight got me thinking about turning points. The only other time the Sabres faced the Preds this season was an early December loss three games removed from the end of the winning streak. At that point we all knew nothing except for joy and happiness; I was strung like a loaded coil to go to the first Leafs game in Buffalo. I recall the other Nashville game clearly: it was a neutral zone battle that made me proud to be a Sabres fan, but it ended 2-1 in favor of Nashville. I was still so pompous at the time I was prepared to make a sign for the Leafs game to follow that referenced there almost being a team in Hamilton, Ontario! What a different time that was. This whole trip down memory lane I just took would’ve been a little monotonous and stupid, kind of like the Sabres season at this point, if I didn’t lead off with a bump for John Vogl. He is worth your time and money so go subscribe to the Athletic Buffalo. I guess I have to talk about the game we had tonight now… ugh, okay: The Sabres lost again. This time they didn’t seem completely lost.

The Nashville Predators have been the subject of some discussions of playoff readiness. The defensive juggernaut that isn’t too bad on offense either has been just ok lately. The 2017 Stanley Cup Finalists have been outmaneuvered or outright smashed in several games in March resulting in some upset fears going into spring. The Buffalo Sabres playing with Nashville as close as they did, particularly for the first two periods of this game, is in some degree attributable to this sagging Preds team. Nashville’s Craig Smith opened up the scoring in the first frame at a little under 9 minutes into the game. As the game continued the play of both teams opened up a bit; chances became more plentiful for both as each team kind of tripped over their own defensive schemes. It was the Preds defense struggling to get into to position that allowed for a tic tac toe pass play in the offensive zone for the Sabres. Kyle Okposo ended up getting the puck behind Pekka Rinne and tapped it in. It was 1-1 through the first intermission but that changed awfully quickly in the second period. P.K. Subban got out all alone against Carter Hutton and shot it past the former Predator in net. It was practically off the faceoff. It was 2-1 for a very brief time again before Conor Sheary thought he evened it up about three minutes into the middle period. The ref said it did not count. Before we go on it’s worth mentioning this was probably the best effort the Sabres have completed in several weeks. Jack Eichel, Sam Reinhart, Casey Mittelstadt, really all the guys, even the ones who aren’t big names did good tonight. The key follow-up there is they didn’t win. You guys got to figure out how to do that more consistently. Nonetheless, it felt nice to not watch another skating clinic.

Jeff Skinner evened up the game at 2 after gathering a nice rebound off the back boards with mere seconds left in the second period. I tuned into the third period full of hope Buffalo would make a real game out of it. They did but Ryan Johansen snuck a puck high on Hutton: it was one of those bounce in bounce out goals that gives Philadelphia Flyers flashbacks to the 2010 Stanley Cup Final. I built that up like it was a momentous play, but it was just a goal and it put Nashville up 3-2 where the game would end. The boys in blue and gold put up a good late effort to tie it, but the third equalizer never came and this one will look like just another regulation loss in the history of this season. This game didn’t suck and that maybe the summation of the only things that make this game watchable. It was so refreshing to see Jeff Skinner scored again that I wear a smile thinking about this game; maybe that’s a sign of just how far we’ve fallen. The Skin Man Skinner is now being treated as a departing hero by some and free agency seems like an inevitability with him at this point but silly optimists like me will continue to concoct ways he stays. The rumor mill has been so silent on him lately it feels like no one will even tolerate us being hopeful about the situation. On the other hand, I heard a theory Skinner is waiting for Phil Housley to be fired to sign. That’s probably some smelly bullshit but if that were true how quickly would Jason Botterill drop Housley? Immediately? That leads me to the considerations of everyone’s favorite weekly hockey column: 31 Thoughts by Elliotte Friedman.

This time we look at Friedman’s writings with a little skepticism. He states in thought number 8 that Jason Botterill doesn’t want to do a coaching change because there have been five coaches of the Sabres since Lindy Ruff left back in 2013. That doesn’t meet the smell test by way of the simple fact Botterill has only been here for one coach. If he has been indoctrinated with the concerns of ownership that’s another story but I don’t see him worrying about past bench bosses. The other half of the thought is that if the Sabres can’t get one of the big names this offseason following firing Housley (cough Joel Quenneville cough) than it makes since given Jason Botterill’s history in the Pittsburgh Penguins organization that he’ll promote Chris Taylor. Firstly, I want to point out I called it and have now been vindicated by Elliotte Friedman and second, why not? There is a glut of good AHL coaches and NHL assistants soon to be finding new jobs. Imagine this: The Rochester Americans win the Calder Cup after a hard-fought season and as reward Chris Taylor is announced as the replacement for the vacancy in Buffalo (because we know they’re firing Housley, right?). This allows you to hire one of half a dozen great AHL coaches to fill that void instead of taking another risk with an unproven guy for the NHL job. I will continue building this case until it comes to fruition. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

You know what to do: like, comment and share this blog around with friends and family. There is a certain dark-side of Sabres fandom that has reared its head in recent days that I have relegated to the P.S. of today’s blog. Instead of talking about that stupidity with any degree of credence we’re going to have a little talk about women’s hockey. I am an asshole, or at least I feel like one. I have only really mentioned the Buffalo Beauts or women’s hockey in passing this season and that’s not great considering the real titan of a team we had in Harbor Center this year. Now with the sudden folding of the Canadian Women’s Hockey League (CWHL) the whole professional outfit of women’s hockey in North America has suddenly gone into crisis mode. NWHL looks to be expanding to Toronto and Montreal to help the cause but this is really an issue all hockey fans should be screaming from the rooftops about. I waited far too long to do so myself. So that’s all for tonight folks, we only got two more of these Sabres games left! Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. He is everything and definitively not the problem. Stop. If you bring up the Eichel-hater discussion going on right now in the Sabres Noise-o-sphere I am going to block you immediately. Just an fyi.