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Word of Honor is like. You've spent your whole life living out of pure spite and revenge and the only person you want to die for has already dug his own grave. How do you devote yourself to a man who gave up before you even met him
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3, 5 and 9 for both your OCs!
YAYYYYY thank you :]
3- What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?
strangeways' is probably thinking that the correct solution to a situation she doesnt like is to just. do nothing about it and believe it will either go away, or be fine, or blow up in such a way that it all gets dealt with really quickly. avoidance? like if she has a big argument with someone she'll just avoid them for as long as possible. having an Alien Problem? her first instinct is that its probably not thatttttt bad right? surely this will be fine and there's no need to do anything tooooo drastic to try to fix it right?? it will all sort itself out???????? i think she is aware of it but possibly not the magnitude of how That Is Actually Not Ideal - when she realised she ages slower she more or less never saw her family again - she'd rather send them the occasional letter than have to see them age & explain why she isnt. like she'd rather not see her sisters or parents again (she wasnt super close with them but yknow, its her family) than have to explain any of what happened to her. but this is combined with being really bad at letting things go so she'll be doing nothing to change a situation while also being devoured by thinking about it. like a fear of change sort of thing
for mihangel..... in a sort of inverse of strangeways, mihangel sort of thinks that nothing too bad will ever happen to him - like yeah he died but that wasnt too bad was it? like he came back its literally fine. he can do xyz kind of dangerous thing because she'll probably be fine right? yeah she was distraught for months before he met strangeways because the doctor had left him back on earth without barely explaining anything but like she's mostly over that now so like its totally okay. this is a normal way to think about things 👍 like she doesnt believe she's indestructable or anything but has the potential to become very reckless, or impulsive, because she's either a) lived through worse & has convinced herself it wasnt that bad or b) just doesnt think anything could possibly go wrong. like she knows that dangers of, say, going swimming alone in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere in a whim, but just does it anyways cos he doesnt think anything bad will happen to Her. does this make sense
5- How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?
ooh this is a good question because i uh. am not super sure what either of their base character motivations are lol
i think strangeways and mihangel both are likely to end up in a situation where they're both so in deep with a situation that they Cant just stop whatever it is & go back to their normal lives. b/c strangeways doenst know when / if she'll die she'd probably let herself get, ah, a wee bit closer to finding out than most people if its in pursuit of something she wants - though i think mostly she wants to feel normal again. the time vortex changed stuff within her & she doenst know what & has been living with it for so long thats she's not sure what she was like before, who she could have grown up to be. she'd think well, if i'm going to die then at least i know that i can & i'm doomed to be immortal, and if i dont die then i'll find out later. she's about 75ish but still looks in the mid/early twenties range so she think shes lived a normal lifespan and wouldnt... mind? if she doesnt live for far longer even though she technically could. damn thats dark uhm sorry. she does want those extra decades for her hobbies though :)
mihangel i think would be driven to one (1) act of violence and then be so horrifically guilty about it for the rest of her life, like anxiety-spiral guilt over one thing, that she's do anything & everything to never do it again. he would think of it like that too
9- Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?
not at the moment no :( i havent made playlists for them or anything though i might in the future. strangeways esp. listens to english trad folk & like nico, and mihangel to post punk & goth of a specifically 80s variety and im sure theres lots of stuff in there thats very Them but i dont have anything at the moment. however while writing this i did think of that bob dylan quote about joan baez 'she looked like a religious icon, like someone you would sacrifice yourself for' both of them have defintely had that thought at somepoint about someone
#thanks for the ask!!#ocs#yayyyyyy yipppeeeeeeeeeee#you always pick such good questions for oc asks :)#SORRY THIS TOOK LIKE A WEEK AS WELL i forgor :(#but thank you!#oc - mihangel#oc - strangeways
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Hewwo Friend Ceri, you asked for characters for headcanons, may i ask for Angie/Anju or Hazuki headcanons?
(CRACKS KNUCKLES) ok a few hours of sleep paralysis and a walk thru irl terajuma later
(sorry for lateness lol)
I'm gonna split up Angie and Anju since yknow, same body, vastly different personalities . I have way more for Anju tho since she's the actually relatively functional one in terms of mind.
--- Angie ---
if she were to have a favorite seafood. it would be fried shellder
doesn't actually sit waiting for people to come to dinner parties of death all day . lord help the maid that accidentally interrupts her while she seems to be talking to herself, though
there's still a glimmer of favouritism towards the regice above all of the pokemon she uses.
--- Anju ---
Very very very good at ice skating.
Loves ice puzzles, and her friends would endure smacking facefirst into ice for her if it meant her face lit up from them trying it
blue raspberry . favorite water ice
girl has NO spice tolerance fr lmao
she loves spoiling her friends with gifts. particularly clothes, pins, the visual kind. she gave Vivian in particular a lot of flower pins, etc, after learning her wish for the cherry blossom trees.
Cella is also HER lawyer lol. before the uh, incident:tm:, she was helping her deal with all that fun stuff listed in the papers on her castle's desk. Hence why they were also in contact; besides the situation with Vivian, of course
really likes Snorunt. finds the little guys adorable. probably knitted/bought baby Kreiss a Snorunt plush. hc he still has it and doesn't know where tf it came from of course, he just finds it nice.
--- Hazuki ---
favorite foods include stuff like eggs, stews, etc
she's actually very smart! despite how the impulsiveness and the "humans from eggs" comment. Any misinformation on that front is entirely her family's fault. As Saki learned engineering and stuff FROM her, she is also very good at engineering and mathematics.
speaks at LEAST five different languages; Japanese (Hoennian), English (Galarian), Spanish (Paldean), French (Kalosian), and Russian. Perhaps even more, considering how business oriented both her family and Thomas Sr's were.
Knows how to use normal swords and the like too, but her Aegislash (then Honedge) was always her main weapon when it came to her duties. She duel wielded for a time when it was a Doublade of course, and was very skilled with that as well.
Liked fairytales and daydreamed a lot-- when she wasn't on guard of course. Actually had a bit of trouble in early life due to trouble staying grounded, but it got a lot more manageable.
Was friends with Anju before she was friends with Nymiera, Vivian, and Cella. They'd play little classic saving-princess-from-the-dragon games (despite Anju's ice specialty making her technically even more capable of killing dragons lol.) With both of their families in such a standing, they basically met thru a bring your kid to work day lol.
Was kinda scared of Darumakas when she was small
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hey anyone interested in betareading my t&b fanfic (lol).
i have mega ADHD and sometimes forget entire word or sentences which results in funny incoherency and also sometimes i get grammar wrong however thats secondary to me wrt getting characterization and canon fact compliancy right (and ill have to be honest. i have a photographic ryan fact memory but sometimes forget basic facts of the show. its a disease)
i gave synopsis of my two closest-to-finishing and not ungodly long projects under the cut (ryan/yuri and one of my ouroboros au projects), if you wanna give me feedback lmk... ill add you on discorb and give you the google doc link xP
ryan/yuri, ~7k (as of now, itll be at least 10k when i write out some parts itd be finished i just got stuck fiddling with the formatting/order of flachbacks to present-day)
synopsis: ryan visited sternbild a long time ago, and the two of them met. present-day yuri feels compelled to confirm whether the boy in the photobooth picture reel he remembered owning really is ryan or not. the theme is mostly about whether you have a family dinner or not at home, poorly sitting on chairs, having an existential crisis on a permanent basis and whether its possible to judge yourself or no (judges are supposed to be impartial) ^includes flashback scenes and i wanna make sure the formatting makes sense to people who arent me
barnaby, ryan & keith, my ouroboros au, ~14k (but im going to trim it down bc theres a lot of unnecessary things). mature but this is because some maiming and manslaughter but this is secondary and comes up mostly in off-screen acquired blood
synopsis: this just explains why the three of them work together, establishes some basic worldbuilding details about them. they sit in cars an awful lot. ^i have to say my barnaby characterization is absolutely the weakest of the three lol so id be interested to hear an opinion about it.
also PSA im not too good of a writer like objectively/in a technical way(?) yknow and thats fine with me, its practice! i am great at thinking of themes and shit but dont ask me to write a beautiful sentence instead i will describe random object locations multiple times in the same sentence before reviewing my writing and being like wtf was i doing there.
also i never type with the semblance of grammar here but i promise. i do use capitalization and punctuation
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Do you have any headcannons for james? :oo like his backstory or his home life or his dynamic with Jesse?
YES ok scooch over we’re sitting on a bench right now
the thing about him is that his backstory has a lot of holes in it, because theres a considerable gap in context from the point where he ran away from home, joined poketech and whatever happened during and after the bike gang so like.
when he ran away since its ambiguous in the show, say for whatever sense of realism we have here, that he was around 12 or so. ended up in a small kanto town and spent about two years finding whatever he could to survive, laying low and making common with the ppl in the town and stuff. he was technically too young to get a job but he got some money through favors and stuff like that, ended up going to poketech through connections with families of the school superiors
(idk what poketech is technically supposed to be because it makes no sense with how its explained in the show, so for the sake of this . lets say its a slightly pretentious normal high school sorta place HEGAH)
ages 14 to 17 were spent in poketech, and he met jessie there. in detention 💔.
they were actually pretty wary of eachother for a while and didnt talk before that because they’re both outcasts in opposite directions and stuff yknow.
they had both gotten in trouble for something mundane probably idk, i imagine the rules at poketech were pretty strict. they ended up talking for a little, bonding over whatever landed them there in the first place. its canon that they were very good friends through the rest of their time there, they both kinda figured themselves out in terms of like identity and stuff through poketech and the bike gang, and by the time they got kicked out they were basically inseparable.
bike gang was weird and they kinda got split apart because of separate issues in their lives, and ended up having a huge argument of some sorts. every story thing after that is explored in the show so yeah! rocket training meeting meowth and yadda yadda
basically like jessie and james together are so weird and nobody except meowth really understands it, they fight like they hate eachother but not really because every time the trio sleep they all end up in a pile, they’re in the outward seeming limbo of best friends and eachothers first on their Most Annoying Person On Planet Earth list.
they don’t usually have to talk in full sentences or even at all to fully understand one another, they do it with meowth too. they have full conversations just by looks sometimes
and stuff like when james is up too late hyperfixated on something or whatever jessie usually pressures him into sleeping. they’re both pretty awkward with affection so it shows in ways like that, relieving of emotional stress such as taking on jobs the other cant deal with for the day, making plans around all the team to rest if they’re sick, stuff like that.
james’s dynamic with jessie is complicated, he appreciates her a lot as a friend and understands her mood swings and aggressive energy better than mostly everybody else on earth, shes the only person who can actually get on his nerves, basically they hate eachother they’re best friends they’re gay married they’re divorced they’re in financial debt they have ten thousand dollars on their arrests combined. lol
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Corren - 1 through 100 - You did this to yourself.
FUCK YOU *UN-IRONICS YOUR ASK*
UNDER THE FUCKING CUT
1. What do they smell like?
Bad. Do you think their party is able to regularly take showers? I thinketh the fuck not. ... Pine and old books when he can self care tho.
2. What is their voice like?
Listen I know Corren, being taller, would be more likely to have a deeper register but you'll tear "tenor Corren" out of my cold dead hands
3. What is their biggest motivator?
Spite.
4. What is their most embarrassing memory?
When he first met his BFF Alondra, he was so antisocial and good at ignoring people that she actually got the impression he might have been hard of hearing. She never let him live that down. (one day I'll finish this fic i promise)
5. How do they deal with/react to pain?
"I will keep all of my pain in here, and one day I'll die." ... Okay but listen he's squishy so he takes like one hit and is bloodied up. Someone get him a healer. Pls.
6. What do they like to wear?
He likes his cloak. Its weighty and soft(well. WAS soft. got a bit of wear and tear these days.) and like. Who doesnt love cloaks.
7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?
Ohhhhh fuuuccck this one's tough. I might have to go with Torvid honestly. While the entire party has had a positive impact on him(and trust me I was this close to picking Alistair), Torvid's been more of the one to call him out on his bullshit and to, oh I don't know, talk about your emotions? Ever??? Yknow BEFORE they become too much to handle and he absolutely breaks down???
8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?
Alistair's cooking.
9. Describe the way that they sleep.
Good luck finding him NOT cuddled up with at least one dog. Tbh he just enjoys cuddles in general.
10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?
FUCKIN. GIVE HIM A GOOD STEAK. THIS BOY IS MOSTLY CARNIVORISTIC.
11. What do they feel most insecure about?
As tempted as I am to say "His cooking", it's actually his singing.
12. How do they like to dress?
"Comfort over flashiness tbh. I gotta go ADVENTURING in whatever I wear after all."
"... Also don't you DARE perceive me as cishet."
13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?
Call him a genie because he will BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP.
14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?
Denial :D
15. What is their greatest achievement?
Shrike: Killing his dad
Me: NOOOOOO
EDIT: WAIT THIS WAS ANSWERED IN Q99 WHAT THE HECK
16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?
Somehow more of a dick than usual. Snappy and cranky and just. Mrehhh.
17. What are they like when they’re drunk?
Doesn't get drunk often, but when he does I imagine he's actually giggly and a little clingy. It's cute :)
18. What kind of music do they enjoy?
*Opens my Corren playlist* Oh yeah. It's either full edgy alt rock or indie alt "depressed millenial" tracks.
19. Are they right or left handed?
FFFuuhhhhck uhhhh well
Looking over my old art I can't seem to pick a dominant hand(I've even drawn him handling his sniper with either hand???????????) so like oops guess he's ambidextrous.
20. Fears?
The dark, the ocean, dying alone and forgotten, his friends losing their trust of him
21. Favorite kind of weather?
Rain!!!! Especially cool rain like what people often get in fall months.
22. Favorite color?
Indigo!!!
23. Do they collect anything?
Books :3
24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?
Cold weather by far.
25. What is their eye color?
Electric blue!
26. What is their race/ethnicity?
Well his race is a homebrew race known as Marelienth. Uhhh ethnicity? Idk he's from a mountain town way up north *shrugs*
In human aus I imagine him as half-Mongolian half-Norwegian so ayee
27. Hair color?
Black!
28. Are they happy where they are currently?
No :D He loves adventuring with his party don't get me wrong but he still has a lot of trauma to unpack. ... Also he was just possibly broken up with soooo. :/
29. Are they a morning person?
NOPE.
30. Sunrise or sunset?
*motions to above question* Sunset.
31. Are they more messy or more organized?
More organized, actually!
32. Pet peeves?
*unravels a list. It's all shit the party has done. Mostly Alistair.*
33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?
HOOUSIDSJFK- HE- Y-YEAH HE SURE DOES
His amethyst pendant used to belong to his brother, Julian, and he gave it to Corren right before they were separated so you BET it's sentimental as shit and he wears it daily.
34. Least favorite food?
Mecha's usually a great cook but one time trolled him with some absurdly spicy curry he couldn't handle and he's never forgiven them.
35. Least favorite color?
Hmmm. Maybe... yellow?
36. Least favorite smell?
He spent a year with his party in a damp cave and no showers, so uh. I'll give you a guess.
37. When was the last time they cried?
Literally last night in our game's timeline :D Full breakdown and everything!
38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?
Torvid :D He was there to comfort
39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?
One time they were in combat and Corren took a few hits and was down to about 2hp or so. He had a temporary level thanks to Kieran, which boosted his HP a little bit. When he teleported them to a safe town, though, well... Torvid was waiting for them so that's cool. But uh. Yeah that temporary level wore off then and there, dropping Corn Cob to exactly 0hp and he just- flopped down face first in the snow and started dying then and there KJNDKLFNSLKN
40. Do they have any scars?
:)
Do you want to talk about the scar over his eye from a fight he got in with his dad or like. The scars on his limbs from the time he was literally experimented on.
41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?
:)
Undiagnosed+Untreated Anxiety, Depression, DPDR, PTSD, just to name a few
42. Do they have any bad habits?
Running away from his problems, definitely.
43. Why might someone dislike them?
He's a pretentious nerd. He can be a dick if he doesn't care about you.
44. Why might someone love them?
He's an adorable nerd! He's a hopeless romantic and oddly enough an optimist. He's passionate and driven too!
45. Do they believe in ghosts?
Well ghosts are like- a canon proven thing in his world sooo. Yeah.
46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?
His party. Well- most in his party.
47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?
Nethyl :)
48. Are they dating/married to anyone?
He's dating Nethyl and they're in a happy and healthy relationship :) *politely ignores canon*
49. Do they like surprises?
NO >:(
50. When is their birthday?
Heroya 5th! I think. I don't wanna check, assume it's this.
51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?
"You guys celebrate your watchdays?"
Jokes aside, he mainly just treats himself to a nice dinner and a new book or something :)
52. Do they have any family?
Two older siblings: Julian and Mila. His parents are Andreas and Fanya!
53. Are they close to their family?
... *Coughs*. He was close with his siblings, but Mila died and he hasn't seen Julian in 30 years. Was close with his dad but last time they saw each other, they fought and Corren might have killed him so. ... Yeah. :/
54. What is their MBTI type?
FUCK uh. I... N... T... J? INTJ. Sure.
55. What is their zodiac sign?
In Sekrezia: The eagle
In our world: Uhhh. Idk. Capricorn????
56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?
Uhhh. Ravenclaw??? I know almost nothing about HP :/
57. What D&D alignment are they?
THIS ONE'S EASY- lawful neutral!
58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?
:)
Used to have typical nightmares, nothing special. Nowadays though he often dreams of being underwater. Not drowning, though. It's... weird. He doesn't like those.
59. What are their views on death?
He's a necromancer lol.
Death is inevitable, though. It's a necessary part of life. Death is not an entire loss, though. One lives on in the memories others carry of them, in the love they hold in their hearts. Death is complicated, but that's okay.
60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?
Alistair :)
61. When bored, how do they pass time?
Dog time :)
62. Do they enjoy being outside?
... Ehhhhhh?
63. Do they have an accent?
Technically??? It's an accent from where he's from but like. I just barely tweak my own voice when I rp him so? Damn Corren I'm sorry you've been cursed with east coast dialect.
64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?
"Damn who's the rich bastard here?" (cake is kinda a delicacy in their world- not like elites only but not NEARLY as common as it is here)
65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?
Reassurance mode to whomever he's with. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm okay. Remember what I told you, death is a natural part of life, yeah? I don't have any regrets, I'm okay... Just. Thanks. For giving me a chance. Thank you. Thank you."
66. How do they feel about sex?
I SWEAR he's allosexual. I'm just bad at writing allosexuals.
67. What is their sexuality?
He doesn't really know how to pin it down, so he just calls himself "queer". Definitely not straight, that's all he knows.
68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?
AHAHA no. He's hella desensitized
69. Is there anything that they find really gross?
Skulking cyst. Look it up at your own volition. It's. NO.
70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?
It's 12:21 in the morning and I'm NOT about to scroll through a bunch of tv tropes just. just. NERD stereotype.
71. Do they enjoy helping people?
Yyyyes? Only really if it's the people he cares about.
72. Are they allergic to anything?
Bullshit.
73. Do they have a pet?
WINGTHARA!! HIS SKELE-DOG!!!
74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?
Oh yeah he's all bark and no bite. He usually just throws a little fit and/or yells.
75. How patient are they?
More than he should be :/
76. Are they good at cooking?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?
Oh yes he insults the others all the time. No particular favorite, he likes so spice it up.
78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?
Stim. Stim. Stim. His eyes get all sparkly and he. He.
79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?
He will do everything in his power to assure they won't ever have to deal with their fears alone- You afraid of spiders? It's his job to get the spiders from now on so you won't have to deal with them.
80. Are they trustworthy?
Oh yeah. He's like Rapunzel- doesn't break promises.
81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?
Oh yes he tries to hide it. And yes, he's awful at it.
82. Do they exercise regularly?
Yes and no? No like- exercise regimen, but the amount of travelling and fighting they do is just- a workout in and of itself
83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?
Yeah! He's cute and he knows it baybie!!!
84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?
He,,, he likes someone who's physically stong,,, Muscles are,,, aaaaa >///>
85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?
Someone he can nerd out with :)
86. Do they like sweet foods?
Impartial to it. He won't turn sweets away but he's not crazy about them either.
87. What is their age?
43, the equivalent of- I think someone in their mid 30s?
88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?
He's 6'8" :) Which is actually normal for his race
89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?
Sometimes! I like to think he has reading glasses or something like that.
90. Do they consider themselves attractive?
HE'S CUTE AND HE KNOWS IT.
91. What is their sense of humor like?
Julian tainted his sense of humor and now he finds the most dumb shit hilarious. Think very millenial/GenZ humor like "I wish I was Jared, 19"
92. What mood are they most often in?
"I don't get paid enough for this" or Fear.jpg
93. What kinds of things anger them?
People who don't keep their FUCKING WORD. Oh and like. Yknow. Half the shit his party does.
94. Outlook on life?
Again he's??? Oddly an optimist? In the "Things will get better and that is a fucking THREAT" way, but still optimist!
95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?
Talk about his family :) Or the fact that his boyfriend might want him dead :)
96. What is their greatest weakness?
He's squishy as fuck. He goes down easy.
97. What is their greatest strength?
He's extremely intelligent and great with magic and his sniper!
98. Something that they regret?
Not doing more to stop his brother when he tried to resurrect their sister
99. Biggest accomplishment?
Either convincing an entire town his name is Torren or accidentally convincing some very OP people that he's secretly a dragon.
100. Create your own!
FUCK YOU I SPENT LIKE 2 HOURS ON THIS. NO PROOFREAD. IVE ALREADY DESIGNED CORREN'S AND NETHYL'S HYPOTHETICAL KIDS. ANYWAYS THEY'RE TWIN IRINAGA AND I'VE NAMED THEM AFTER THE DNDADS TWINS: THEIR NAMES ARE LARK AND SPARROW.
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Sugar and Spice
Chapter 2
Sorry this one is slightly shorter, I just wanted to get the actual information and plot with all the complicated bits out of the way lol and liked the way this ended 💕 next week will be a much longer chapter with more fun stuff. I hope everyone enjoys 💕
Warnings: medical discussions, talk of a procedure (IUI) (Intrauterine Insemination), discussion of pregnancy
1.7K words
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So much paperwork.
Peter and Tony felt like they were drowning in paperwork, something new to fill out or finalize every time they got a chance to relax. It was exhausting.
They kept telling themselves that it was worth it. It would all be worth it to have their beautiful baby in the end.
They’d had in their minds that Beatrice was going to be their surrogate since that first in-person meeting with her. So all it had taken was finishing up the remainder of the official process for them to have it all in writing. No more tense meetings, very little questions or concerns. She was who they wanted. And she was happy to work with them.
It was beyond relieving when they got the notice that they had finally finished all of their side of the legal process. And Beatrice was finishing up hers as they spoke.
It wouldn’t be too much longer before the insemination process started. Then things would really get rolling.
Everyone involved was excited.
Peter laid in bed with Tony the night it was all finalized, arms wrapped around his husband. They had laid in silence for a while, each thinking their own thoughts and processing the events of the busy day.
They’d finished up their paperwork. Beatrice had finished hers just before their lawyer closed his office for the night. Just in time. So the rest of the process could be started in the morning.
Tony sighed softly, breaking Peter out of his thoughts.
“What is it?” He asked softly.
“I just...are you sure that you’re okay with the baby biologically being mine? And not yours,” Tony asked quietly. It had been on his mind a lot. He knew they’d been through it all, pros and cons, and decided together. But he wanted to be sure that his husband wouldn’t regret it.
Peter’s expression softened. “Of course it’s okay. And- aside from all the paperwork for it being finished now- there’s nothing I’d do to change it. This is the best option, Tones.”
It was no secret that Tony was getting older. And there was no telling how much longer he would be fertile enough to help conceive a child. Peter was still younger, if they later decided to have another child then he would be the donor. But for this baby, it was decided that Tony was the best choice.
“Okay, honey. Okay. If you’re sure.” Tony turned slightly, kissing Peter gently. “This is just such a big thing. I want everything to be perfect. No regrets.”
“I promise you there won’t be any regrets. I promise, Tony,” Peter whispered. “Now...it’s been a long day, yeah? We should get to sleep. You get cranky if you don’t get your eight hours,” he teased.
Tony huffed softly, trying to mask the laugh that came with it. “Says Mr. I’ll kill you if you wake me up before eight.”
Peter laughed, holding his husband close. He moved one leg over his hip, relaxing as he got into a more comfortable position. “Sleep. Then we’ll both be happy.”
“Uh huh. Goodnight, honey.”
“Goodnight, grumpy.”
————
They were in contact with Beatrice the next morning, going over all that would have to be done.
A meeting was set up for a few days later so they could talk face to face. And it was the last time they’d see each other before the actual procedure.
Being so close to the big day made both nerves and excitement high.
They met up at the same cafe as before, gathered around the table and were comfortable as they talked.
“You don’t need to worry, I’ve already been monitoring my cycle for weeks now, since we started talking. Just so we wouldn’t have to wait too long to see where things were, yeah?” Beatrice told them with a smile.
It wasn’t her first time, so she already knew what to expect. And she was happy to walk the couple through the entire process.
“Yeah, that’s really helpful. Perfect, even.” Tony nodded. “So...what’s next?”
“Next we do the actual IUI because if we don’t within twenty four hours of ovulation, we’ve gotta wait all over again. And that’s not ideal.”
“And- so you’ve already got the stuff?” Tony asked her, fingers tapping at the table. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of what they were doing- it just didn’t seem like appropriate coffee shop conversation to ask if she had his sperm samples. So he tried to casually avoid the actual phrasing.
“Don’t make it sound like I’m doing drugs, please.” Beatrice laughed. “But yes, I have the stuff. If you don’t want to call it what it actually is. The procedure is gonna be done tomorrow, if you want to come see me or anything.”
Peter tugged on Tony’s arm gently. “We’ll definitely come see you,” he assured the woman. “You have to stay there a little while, right?”
“Yep! Gives everything a chance to settle in and…” she gestured vaguely towards her stomach. “Yknow. Take hold.” She chuckled.
The man nodded. “That makes sense. But...there’s a chance it won’t take after just the first cycle,” he said nervously. “Right?” He’d done a lot of research, wanting to understand what she’d be going through for them.
She sighed softly. “There’s always that chance. But we just have to hope for the best. I’ve been on medications that are supposed to increase fertility, your man here has nothing wrong with his end of the bargain, so we should be good to go.” She gave him a reassuring smile.
“You’re just going to say everything but the technical term now, aren’t you?” Tony asked, trying not to look amused. He failed.
“Oh, that’s on you. You refused to say it first, now I’m gonna do everything I can to avoid saying it as well,” Beatrice said innocently. “Wouldn’t want to make my intended parents uncomfortable.”
Peter laughed, covering his mouth. Oh, there was no doubt in his mind that she was the perfect person to be helping them. There were a lot of other good factors, but the fact that she had a sense of humor and was even willing to tease Tony made everything that much easier. Nothing tense between any of them. It was all light and fun and as easy as possible.
“Okay, yeah, I guess I did start this,” Tony agreed, snorting. “Whatever. Have your fun.” He gave her a more sincere smile. “But I do hope everything goes well tomorrow.”
“It’ll be fine,” she assured them. “Nothing I haven’t done before.”
“Not too much pain?”
“Not much. And I’ve been through worse, so it’s alright. And it’ll be worth it,” she told them. “It will all be worth it to me for your baby.”
Her phone chimed and she glanced down to check the notification. She smiled a little. “My ex is dropping off Nikki. So I can let you guys go,” she told them, answering the text quickly. She’d told them all about her own daughter during their various meetings, gushed about how much she loved her.
She really loved being a parent. And she loved being able to help others be the same.
“Maybe we could-“ Peter stopped himself, shaking his head. “Sorry. That was definitely overstepping. Forget it.” He didn’t want to overstep, asking to meet the woman’s child. It was different than asking to meet a child she was just a surrogate for, he knew, but he still didn’t want to make her uncomfortable at all.
“No, finish what you were going to say. It’s okay,” she told him.
“I just...maybe we could meet her? I don’t know, I just kind of want to meet your daughter.” He smiled a little. He wanted to meet the girl that would technically be his child’s half sister. And he kind of wanted to see Beatrice interacting with her daughter.
“Of course! Yeah, that’s totally okay,” Beatrice assured him. “She’ll be here in just a couple minutes. I’ll warn you, she’s kinda shy, but you two are fairly calm so she should warm up quickly.”
Peter glanced to Tony. “I mean, I’m calm. You might have to work on it,” he joked.
“I bet she’ll like me sooner than she’ll like you,” he challenged.
Beatrice snorted, shaking her head. “Are you fighting over my kid now? Maybe you two should just get home and relax. Already trying to be competitive.”
Tony laughed. “Nah, we’ll be fine. I wanna meet the little squirt. And-“
His phone went off, lighting up with a notification from Pepper. “Shit, I must have forgotten something.” He read over the text, wincing. “Forgot to send her that document...Which is sitting on my desk at home. Tell Nikki we’re sorry we missed her, next time. I’ve gotta get this to Pep.”
Peter pouted, bottom lip poking out. He knew they had to get home. But it didn’t mean he had to like it. He had really wanted to meet the girl. But he figured that it could wait until a little later. It wasn’t like there was much choice. “Okay, okay.”
He stood up, pushing his chair in. “We’ll see you tomorrow, B, the procedure is at…?”
“Noon,” she answered, a soft smile on her face.
“Then we'll be there at one. Does that sound alright?” He asked, grabbing his phone and tucking it into his pocket.
Beatrice nodded. “Of course. I’ll see you then!” She said happily.
“We’ll be thinking of you,” Tony told her. “Hoping everything goes smoothly. And we’ll be right there once it’s done.”
“That sounds perfect,” she told them. “Now shoo, don’t want you to miss anything for work. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll text you when I’m going in and once I’m out.”
The couple nodded, saying their goodbyes and heading to the car.
“Sweet guys,” Beatrice murmured to herself, smiling. She glanced up when she heard an enthusiastic ‘Mommy!’ and caught the four year old that ran to her.
Being a parent was something she loved more than anything. And as she hugged Nikki close, she watched Tony and Peter’s car drive away.
Being a parent wasn’t something she’d recommend for everyone. But she was beyond thrilled to be able to help others that clearly were going to be good parents. She was happy to be able to give them the opportunity.
#starker#peter parker#tony stark#tony x peter#tony stark x peter parker#married starker#pregnancy fic#tw pregnancy#not mpreg#Beatrice (sugar and spice)#original female character#tw medical#lots of medical discussions in this chapter#sugar and spice au
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my thoughts on castlevania s4 SPOILERS obviously
wow, i was actually impressed with hector for once. he collected the last wit about him to turn his situation around and take his balls out of lenore’s hands back into his pants. i thought he would go sicko mode on her and feared it getting a little revenge misogynistic, but i was pleasantly surprised at how civilized it was between them up until the end.
lenore was a little useless, wasn’t she? i half expected her to go, “you know what? fuck diplomacy” and just go mach 1 on everyone. eh.
isaac, oh. isaac. my favorite secondary character. wanders the desert conquesting, killing and raising the dead which made him realize things. he realized so much he marched right into carmilla’s castle while her beserker and army were away and owned her ass. good for him.
carmilla. oh, carmilla. tied with isaac for my favorite. so determined and single-minded that she sent away all her forces while she schemed in her fortress. she depended too hard on her partners doing all the work for her, and as a result she wasn’t much of a thinker, just a bloody, murdery doer. for example, she didn’t think that there were other formidable forces in the world that may want to impede her whole world domination plan? did she forget about isaac, out in the world rogue forgemastering? that was a threat she should have checked on before going global. she got too greedy, too quickly, and she paid the ultimate price for it. she went out like a fucking boss though, and i was pleased with her arc overall. as far as villains go, her raison d’etre was relatable and hard to argue with.
the dialogue style is both one of my favorite parts of the show but also at times a pain point for me. when it’s good, it’s relaxed, comfortable and realistic and the characters play off each other really well with it (like quipping back and forth during battle which i normally hate but works well here). when it’s bad, it’s a little cringe. some dialogue scenes went on wayyyyy too long while the characters repeated things they’d literally just said verbatim, which is awkward af in screenwriting. i.e. Isaac telling Hector twice in the space of 30 seconds “Dracula earned his rest.” which is odd because impactful phrases like this usually are not repeated so as not to, yknow, dilute their impact. Also Carmilla waxing spiteful about “evil old men” and repeating some variation of the phrase 15 times in one scene. lastly, the liberal sprinkling of the word “fuck” in every other line is also like, mostly welcome but once or twice just sounded silly given the context of the scene. i’m nitpicking, here.
saint-germain. Idk much about his woman, but she definitely seemed worth slaughtering a village and raising dracula from the dead for. violent and hot as fuck, she never uttered a single word which i want to think is indicative of something but what? did we ever figure out why she kept eluding him via dimension-jumping? imagine she was trying to get away from him all this time lol. yikes.
the smartest people in this whole show are the vampire lesbians who peace tf out immediately when they see their castle is under siege and figure out carmilla is dead. LOL at them assuming useless lenore is dead too (bc, she’s useless) and just leaving her there. they packed their shit up, moved out west, presumably to build a lover’s stronghold where they could just be in vampire love forever. GOOD FOR THEM.
trevor: continued to drunkenly yell Fuck while being masterfully proficient immediately at any weapon he picks up, though eventually always ending up using his fists like the brawler he is.
sypha: if she met the avatar, she'd be like “lmao, you can ‘bend’ the elements, huh? i can use them in ways that would make your skin crawl and your head explode to even think about. sit the fuck down.”
alucard: adorable himbo with a heart of gold, needs a tough as nails gf to jerk him out of his moods and organize his kitchen for him. another round of good for him. i was a little scared they would kill off his gf but that would have been unimaginably cruel considering what he went through in s3. alucard had imo the best/most stylish fight sequences of the season. and they know what we’re about, since he was shirtless or at least in a very deep V cut most of the time. thank you.
i had 2 major predictions for this season going into it: trevor would die (permanently), and sypha would have a kid/get pregnant. i was 75% on the money.
i liked the ending message of why humans win these wars against vampires despite being slow meatbags compared to them. the vampires’ fatal flaw is resistance to change, provoked by their immortality, arrogance, and insatiable desire for power in order to provide themselves long term stability in the world. whereas humanity’s best trait is the polar opposite: adaptability. throughout history, the ability to adapt has been proven to be the determining factor in a species’ survival. vampires, for all their god-like strengths, prove to be no exception to this rule. alucard, with his human heart, is the only one with vampire blood who has proven he can make major changes and overcome personal prejudices to live a better life.
And my final thoughts on the ending are: everyone major got a satisfying end to their arc. BUT. it was just too happy. either trevor should have stayed dead, OR dracula and lisa should have gone back to hell. but not both. having everyone come back to life and go on to skip in fields just seems contrary to the tone and messaging of the whole show, which is pretty high up on the edginess scale.
i love a bittersweet ending in general, so i’m biased. imo, the joy of a mostly good ending is rendered all that much sweeter by reflecting on what was lost to obtain it. imagine:
alternate ending 1: trevor comes back, the gang lives happily ever after at Belmont Village or wtvr they name it, BUT. we see alucard lost in thought thinking about his parents, how he saw a flash of their souls during the penultimate battle. there’s regret there, the regret of shit left unsaid and shitty family dynamics unsolved. we cut immediately back to hell, with lisa and dracula embracing, maybe whispering a few lines of doomed lovers dialogue and something about their son. they’re in hell, but ultimately, they’re together. cut back to alucard, yanked out of his sad thoughts by his pretty gf who won’t let him get too deep in the weeds. shot pans out of them together with the gang. the end.
alternate ending 2: trevor is DEAD dead. sypha stays with alucard and the gang at belmont farms and raises her kid. maybe we get a 2 year timeskip and we see the little shit have some of his dad in him/her. sypha is sad about trevor but doesn’t mope about it. she runs that town like it’s a business. alucard is the best uncle to that kid & the orphans they could ask for. everyone gets trained in ass-kicking next door at the belmont hold. lisa and dracula are miraculously alive through whatever convoluted bs makes it work, and contemplate one day moving back to see their son. dracula has a moment to realize that his family is mostly human, and what he loves in them he can learn to tolerate from all of humanity.
don’t those feel happy but just. TINGED. with just enough sadness to be more memorable? idk i may just be a masochist.
i haven’t mentioned the technical aspects such as animation and direction because they were amazing. really, really incredible animation that is going to be hard to follow up (and netflix is going to make copycats of this formula, you bet your ass they will). where cgi was used, it was excellent and barely detectable, really well integrated with 2d. so engaging to watch.
overall: 9/10
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hey its me again wall of text sorry not sorry
k i saw your little treatise justifying zadr and yknow its a cartoon its not the worst thing ever of course nobody is gonna sue you for reblogging fanart or burn you at the stake or w/e and im glad you decided to open yourself up to a differing opinion but zim IS portrayed as an adult. there was even an unfinished episode where zim’s childhood and growing up training from start to finish would be shown so by the time of the pilot he is definitely a full grown developed adult by irken standards especially if hes a former member of an elite military force like the invaders. jhonen has said that the irony and sad comedy of zims character is that hes a grown ass man and a war veteran to boot who VOLUNTARILY goes to an elementary school every day and throws hands with an 11 year old boy who should be well below his notice because he’s that pathetic and desperate for validation that he’ll stoop to seeking it from a child. it also sets up a dynamic between them where dib is CHALLENGED by having to go up against an adult with way more experience than him while dib is just a child, so when he wins its more meaningful, which is a common trope in childrens fiction that an underdog young hero has to take down a powerful adult villain.
jhonen might joke a lot but he’s serious about this part of the characterization of zim and dib and he even went to great lengths to make dib look and act more like a kid in ETF (more emotional and naive, designed to look smaller/softer, going in depth with his relationship to his dad and sister and needing his dad to protect him at the end when he’s too overrun to fight alone) just to drive home the point of how young he is. it was a very deliberate move and jhonen knows what hes doing ESPECIALLY since he also left zim pretty much unchanged and also includes gags about zim’s relative maturity like animating him briefly grimacing because his joints are sore and the part where he pretty much gestures to his crotch and goes “theyre afraid to look at ALL-A THIS”. like you would not see jhonen do that sort of joke with an underage character ok. dont confuse his social awkwardness and self deprecating/trolling humor for not knowing the difference between right and wrong and not acknowledge when he means something sincerely because he doesn’t just clown on people and troll ALL THE TIME 24/7 hes a human, and times have changed with more awareness on issues such as the grooming of minors so he can go back on things he may have said in the past that he doesn’t agree with now or said by mistake. he has said enough times that zim is older than any human alive that its safe to take his word for it by now. judging by the one strip he did in JTHM about johnny murdering a pedophile who was about to prey on squee i think his stance on protecting kids is pretty clear. also i wouldnt put it past jhonen to have redesigned membrane to be more chaddy looking to divert the adult fandom’s attention away from dib and throw the fangirls a bone but thats a whole nother can of worms lol.
and the justification that zim is immature so hes essentially on dib’s level is a reversal of something lots of kids hear from either creepy or ignorant adults who tell them theyre “so mature for their age”. no matter how emotionally mature you are it wont ever compensate for the number of years youve been alive so that’s not very sound logic, and even in fic where theyre both adults it’s still pretty weird because it doesn’t erase their history where zim knew dib as a kid. that’s sort of like a grownup waiting with bated breath until a kid is “legal” so they can start dating. kinda like when jacob imprints on bella’s newborn daughter in twilight then having it handwaved away by saying he’ll wait till she’s grown up, which understandably drew a huge amount of criticism. it’s a loophole that might be mildly acceptable in some cases but the context leaves it colored with a residual ickiness that sets off some red flags for me and a lot of other people.
also you said zim is an alien and therefore the situation itself is unrealistic, but the reason invader zim’s writing resonates with people is because zim is written with very HUMAN emotions and motivations and part of the humor again is how irkens despite being aliens from another planet mirror some of humanity’s worst flaws such as being petty, gluttonous, willfully ignorant, arrogantly believing they are special and better than everyone else, easily manipulated by propaganda, all too eager to greedily colonize other societies etc making them not so different from us at all. so the premise out of context might not seem realistic but the idea of a sad burnout adult who doesn’t realize how humiliating it is to be consistently outsmarted by a kid less than half their age IS realistic and applicable to human interaction since we’ve likely all met someone like this before at one point in our lives for example a schoolteacher who has a personal vendetta against one or more of their students and has nothing better to do than antagonize them, or a really dumb parent that you fight with a lot.
another thing, i know you and other fans probably have a lot of sentimental value and nostalgia attached to zadr because you probably shipped it back when you were a kid yourself and you cant be blamed for something you liked as a kid, but youre an adult now, and you have to listen to the portion of kids in the fandom who dont like zadr and say without question that the age gap makes them uncomfortable. those kids ARE the priority. we’re grown up now and we have to put our feelings aside for them because that’s part of being responsible and mature. i feel like zim himself is a pretty good example of how not to act at our age [shrug emoji]
and anyway a lot of the same elements of zadr can be explored with zadf just as well with just as much potential for cute moments and as a bonus is it’s not creepy
You do bring up some good points, and I’m not saying you’re wrong... But honestly I’m still not convinced. I mean, stuff that Jhonen said, the thing is even if it’s the author saying it it’s still outside of canon, that’s the reason why Neil Gaiman got flack for Good Omens because they didn’t write an actual kiss or hug or hand-hold between Aziraphale and Crowley yet Neil Gaiman went on Twitter saying they were queer representation. I still don’t really put much stock into what he says because the unfinished episodes and Jhonen’s commentary don’t really change the dynamic that’s actually in the show. And again...Jhonen said if there were going to be romance in the show it would be Zim/Gaz, so he’s either a huge hypocrite or doesn’t view Zim as being incompatible with Gaz.
I do think it’s much better when Dib is an adult and it just makes more sense, and I actually do prefer zadf to zadr and if i were going to ever write fanfiction or make fanart it would probably just be zadf, just because i know this does have some stuff to think about and I totally respect that you have a different view of it, but i honestly just don’t see it that way. The analogy with Jacob imprinting on Bella’s child in Twilight isn’t really the same thing honestly. The author in that situation tried to make it not......that....by saying that imprinting isn’t always a romantic relationship thing, and that Jacob would be more of an older brother, but honestly that doesn’t really negate the impact of grooming that kid would have with Jacob around. The idea that Zim would somehow be grooming Dib seems really silly to me although you’re right, I think his characterization in Into the Florpus has evolved somewhat especially with regard to Dib wanting to get his father’s approval, but again Zim has parallels with that in trying to please the Tallest. the world-building and characterizations are inconsistent and scattershot at best. Like no, zim isn’t waiting for him to turn legal, that’s absurd, they’re nemeses coming at each other then learning to be friends. You’re right that that doesn’t have to be zadr but I still tag it as zadr so people can block it if they want to.
Like, I’ve seen people ship Zim with Professor Membrane instead of Dib. That seems very weird to me. that professor membrane would have a relationship with someone who literally goes to his son’s elementary school and who doesn’t know anything at all about human behavior and emotions.
I feel like with this discussion people don’t really understand the problem with age gaps. With age gaps, it’s not a matter of mature/immature, it’s about development. A ten year age gap sounds like a lot right? a 25-year-old and a 15-year old would absolutely have a predatory “relationship.” But a 35- and a 45-year old, that’s perfectly fine. Having a difference in age doesn’t automatically make the relationship unhealthy. so if Dib is 25 and Zim is [whatever the hell aliens years i still don’t really take Jhonen’s word for it bc he’s not consistent], that’s doesn’t mean it has to be bad. The thing about telling minors they’re “so mature for their age” to try and convince them that a person interested in them isn’t a pedophile is that we know a human being who is 15 isn’t developmentally at the same level as a 25-year-old regardless of their behavior. What is Zim? All we have to go on is how he acts, and he acts like Dib is an equal match, it’s not “he’s immature for his age,” it’s very unclear. Raw number of years isn’t the ultimate decider, for example in DnD lore elves reach maturity at, like, 100 years old so a 25-yo human trying to get with a 50-year-old elf would be predatory to the young elf even though the “younger” one is technically twice as old as the human. Do you see what I’m saying?
I also don’t really buy the idea that Invader Zim’s writing resonates with people because Zim is ~~so human~~. The guy steals a bunch of kid’s organs in one episode and flies into a tantrum over the slightest inconvenience. You have to be reading really deeply into it and dig into some old internet archives of things Jhonen Vasquez has said to paint it as realistic. You can do some interesting things with it wrt like, Zim being defective and starting to experience human emotions but that’s mostly fanon.
Well, you’ve given me some things to think about, thanks for explaining your side to me. I’m still going to tag things as #zadr so people can block if it can’t plausibly be categorized as zadf. I’m not actually making any fan content for Invader Zim so the point is kind of moot, but if I ever do I’ll definitely take this into consideration.
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☂
rp memes or w/e
☂— mention someone you’ve met who has influenced your writing in a positive way
uh i can’t really answer for group rp cause 1. i don’t remember and 2. i quit for a reason but um here goes some nice indie folks who grew me into the Ambassador i am today
@mccdmuzik— so its 2015 and i’m new to indie and i have like 4 muses and color and everything’s great except no one really wrote with me or responded to any of my muses with like...........niggas lmao. so this musty bitch here did. i also left for a period of time cause i was not fuckin with this whitey wonderland called a general tag AT ALL and this bitch brought me back when nobody else did!!!!!!!!!
and using these two ships in particular as an example bc they were the first developed ones we’ve been writing since 2015, our double trouble otp went from one liners and text threads? to fckin this. angel and xaire, the most awful thing i’ve ever been put through? started out as a text thread, ended up as this. so yeah, this ugly bum had me going from one sentence run ons to novels out here!!!
@quarrelsums / @undersunrise / idk whatever lil blog u on rn— UM HELLO LITERALLY MY #1 FANGIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! another lovely person to have been writing with me since the very beginning, this binch goes IN for me and my muses. i mean, she even pays attention to muses i don’t even have threads for with her, fam. she remembers every little detail and notices when your muses aren’t getting some love and she will literally come into ur IMs and demand for information so she can throw some shit together. deadass i don’t think she ever asked me to plot she just came in running my life so OBVIOUSLY SHE’S A CANCER but kjgnjekrngre she’s so amazing and honestly gave my lil annoying ass so much confidence so s/o to my honey pie.
@destructivs— honestly it’s fck her bc she’s mean to me 98% of the time, but if katya is your absolute favorite muse of mine then yall gotta thank this bitch right here cause kat would not be who she is today (the most powerful woman in the world if u may) if it weren’t for the plot we’ve been writing since like..........2016 lmao. this shit carried over to three (technically four if u count her single muse) different blogs of mine and it keeps developing with every thread and like i said, without the ship we have then i honestly would still have a flat two dimensional character who’s only cool cause her faceclaim is rihanna lmao. plus her writing is just amazing and she challenged me with novella length threads as well and i love it, so make sure yall writing w/ this bitch when she active.
@altadcna— have i ever said that i used to be like...........deathly afraid of kija lmao?? bc so much quality???? so many muses of color???????????? i just????????????????? back on them miillennials days i was sO SHOOK when she actually followed me and EVEN MORE SHOOK WHEN SHE ANSWERED A STARTER OF MINE LIKE UM HELLO WHAT THE FUCK? but kija is actually a really cute cutie and i’m lovv her so much, she’s the fuckin sweetest and now she has all these cool fuckin muses with the greatest faceclaims in history (DEADASS HAVE YALL SEEN KIJA’S MUSE PAGE? I C O N I C.) and i just want them all but we already have like 16 of the cutest ships in the world and two are whole families and omg the other day we literally planned a thanksgiving headcanon like november ain’t a whole month and some days away but she gives me them good FEELS and i honestly owe her moodboards bc i cannot express the love i have for our ships in coherent words. i literally spelled ships as chips before i corrected it just now so thats how u know.
and honestly everyone i’ve written with (lol almost) has been like............amazing people. the really great thing about writing in terms of rp is being able to put your method of writing against someone else’s and its actually really cool when you have those two creations that just....click, yknow? anyways whatever i love all of u guys if you ever wrote with me or still do ok
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u know what time it is ;)
**traumadump
so this is gonna be a lot more milquetoast compared to the other one. more like teenage whiny bitching but yknow. we all deserve to have some teenage whiny bitching sometimes
my first serious relationship happened sometime near the end of highschool. i dont remember how old i was. tbh i dont even remember his actual name. now i just know him as ‘ten’ which is good enough to call him now
id only dated one other person before him. (technically there were a couple others but they were pedo online ones and idrc or remember much abt them smh). her name was fallon. she was my first girlfriend and honestly she was fine. 10/10 would try again. nothing rly bad happened there, i was just young and dumb and thought having a crush on someone else meant i was cheating on them and i felt bad LMAO i was like 13 or 14.
ten tho. ten was my first serious relationship. we had met through a mutual friend and we hit it off pretty quickly. i dont remember all that much about him if im gonna be real. we dated for almost a year but most of him is gone along w the rest of that time. i remember the “break up” quite vividly though. it wrecked me lmao
the only other thing i really remember is when i was finally able to give my dad a funeral ten years after the fact. we travelled down south. (im pretty sure arkansas. my mom told me when i moved here that my dad was buried near here. all this time i thought he was in texas and all lol). i remember staring up at the sky and watching the clouds while i sat in the passenger seat. told him i loved him like i love the clouds or smth. it was a nice moment, i was feeling nice all things considered.
the break up though. that shit Sucked. i remember, because it was one of the things that hurt the most about it, was that at some point we had had a conversation. he felt bad (? this conversation is fuzzy so some may be inaccurate or vague) about how he had broken up w an ex of his before. we ended up talking and i communicated that i would rather be broken up with directly, to just be told, i had severe abandonment issues and to just suddenly disappear would be the worst
i had actually told him that at least twice? maybe more? the way that we “broke up” is that i woke up one morning and went to message him on skype (lololol) and found he had blocked me. found he had blocked me on every platform we knew each other on. without so much as a word
our last conversation was about how much he’d been missing his dog bcos he was away visiting family for a couple months. it sucked. it felt like shit. it was my first major break up and it wasnt even a real break up lmao
he came back a few months later sometime that summer, messaging me via snapchat. i remember when i saw the message i was at work, it was like 3 am. i was sitting next to the ice machine in the back, slacking off like usual. idr exactly what he said to me but i remember first it hurt rly bad. then i got angry at him cos like lmao the audacity. he basically turned it all around and blamed me for it and dumbshit tried to make himself out to be the victim and the bigger man idk idr teenage bullshit i dont remember if i responded but i dont think i did
abandonment has been something ive had to deal with a lot. and it sucks. its made it hard to trust people, to open up. like really open up. at this point these dumb posts that i make are the only real ways i could ever get stuff like this out for anyone to see. it doesnt feel as serious. if they wanna read it they can but they can opt out whenever they want and id never ever know. theres no fear of rejection here. just apathetic observance.
idk who im writing this for. myself mostly im sure.
the longest time ive ever lived somewhere was around 7 years. in colorado. and even then we still had to move once near the end. i dont remember the ages and numbers anymore so i cant give an exact time. but that was the longest piece of stability i ever had. and i couldnt wait to get out
i think. at some point, instability becomes a comfort. when its all you know, having something there that feels permanent is terrifying. it feels like it can be taken away. when you get used to constantly living rolling with the punches, it feels dizzying to try to right yourself. to stand up straight.
when i moved into my first ever apartment that i signed a lease for, i bought a kitchen table for ten dollars from goodwill. i was able to get it home and lug it up to the second floor and into my house. i got it righted and placed where i wanted it to be and i was so proud of myself. later that night i had a breakdown over accumulating furniture.
i lived with my mom and dad. then they started fighting. i dont remember the timelines or chronological order. but i lived with my dad, then i lived at my (paternal) grandparents house. i lived with my (maternal) uncle and aunt. i lived with my (maternal) second cousin. i lived with my (paternal) aunt. i livef with my (unrelated) aunt and uncle. i lived with my mom. back with my (unrelated) aunt and uncle. back with my mom
we lived in an apartment. there was a girl i was friends with. we would go swim in the pool sometime. she lived with her dad and her skin was tan
we lived in a duplex on a culdesac. there was a girl and her brother nearby. i was best friends with them. i cant remember their names? last i heard the girls sibling is nonbinary? im not sure.
living with someone in the south. idk. it was a house. there was a girl nearby. her house had a lot of lush green. her cat? or dog? had babies. there was one they named dw for death wish because it kept trying to walk off the deck
one time my mom bought a house. there were a lot of kids i hung out with. they made it a game at one point to call each other while i was there to bad mouth me to prove that the others were awful and i shouldnt be friends with them. i shouldntve been friends with any of them tbh. i just wanted friends in general
the friends arent trauma. im just walking thru what i can remember because i. yknow. the amnesia. sometimes walking through things helps me to remember more. i mean the snotty girls definitely werent great but yknow kids are mean they say crass things. i eventually got better friends
that was the only time my mom owned a home. my sister and i were real young, still in elementary school. we were kids and had messes. my mom never taught us how to clean just told us to go do so. so she was mad that we were kids and had messes. one day she took everything i had and everything my sister had and locked it into one room and put me and my sister as well as a weeks worth of clean clothes for the each of us into the other room. she took away every comfort item we had. she changed the locks to one that needed a key. we stayed minimalist kids for a while after that.
that kickstarted a hoarding disorder that ive since gotten 10000% better about. hoarding already ran in our family and so did paranoia disorders. she did things like that regularly. she would target my stuffed animals specifically. once i remember she barged into my room with big black trashbags and took every single stuffed animal and stuffed them in. including the Special One stuffed animal. she took him right from my hands. i sobbed at her to stop and i watched as she threw them all into our garbage and wheeled it out to the street for the collector the next day. she dragged me back in by the arm and forced me back to my room to go to bed.
now that sucks huh
anyway she didnt actually throw them out. she went and got them back but that doesnt erase what happened now does it? thats why i dont like the shitty bullshit ass pranks people pull on their partners like “i pretend to cheat on my partner” or “i break up with my partner as a prank”. like lol just bcos at the end of the day the scenario was fake, it doesnt take away the fact that for however long it was kept up, you forced that person to live in a reality where it was explicitly real. she forced me to live in a reality for an entire night where she had taken the things that bring me the most comfort and safety feelings in my life, which she was well aware of which is why she targeted them so often, and destroyed them. that. broke fundamental trust in her in ways i cannot describe
when i left florida and landed in arkanas out of money my mom offered to take me back. she had been getting better. i basically cut contact with her for a while and then came back but only talked to her enough for her to just barely witness the awful things that happened in florida without her really being able to do anything at all lmao abd then i told her she needs to shape up or else im leaving altogether and that scared her enough to start becomjnt a better person for me for herself for my little sister. and shes grown a lot. when she offered for me to come back though, she demanded that i “just forgive [her] and stop being mad at [her].”
ive made it very apparent that im not angry with her and i dont hold what happened in my past against her beyond any reasonable extent and that it doesnt affect how i interact with her now, however there are many things that she did that i have to heal from and cope with. i havent told her in those words exactly but the sentiments have been repeated throughout various conversations
bearing that in mind. the demanding that i just forgive her. i become that kid again. the scared 9 year old kid whos dad died just a couple years prior whos been moved across the country countless times with countless people who inflicted varied but unique to the other trauma whos not been able to have a friend for more than a year or two at a time whos never had a stable support net whos lived in and out of poverty whos lived in and out of secure housing whos only “constants” has been his sister and his mom, one of which he fights with constantly (as siblings do constant bloodshed) and the other has not had a single healthy coping mechanism in her entire life and is slowly losing the ability to effectively sympathize with even her own children whos only real constants, real positive influences, has been tv and his stupid little plushies. the scared kid whos watching his mom take everything she knows he cares about and forces him to believe time and time again that this is really it that shes finally serious. shes scary when shes serious and she always somehow manages to be even scarier, which means shes even seriouser.
it sucks
i dont know if she did it. i dont wanna believe she did it. she says she didnt do it either. and i feel like if she knew i was questioning her it would demolish her. i dont wanna think she did it. that she pushed him.
i dont remeber who first told me that she did though. i know shes adamantly denied it to me. and i believe her. but god. sometimes i think about how violent shes been with me. what would stop her?
i dont think she pushed him. whats more likely is that they were just fighting and he tripped and went down the stairs. i dont remember it i was too young. i remember being told afterwards that while he was stuck on the stairs i went and got all my stuffed animals and surrounded him with them to make him feel better
thats what caused the dormant cancer to awaken. it was some kinda bone cancer. something about the fall and hurting his leg. i dont remember him much. it hurts to think about him. i wasnt that old when he died tho. i just know he was my best friend. he showed me more love than my mom ever has. its not her fault tho. she was raised to not even be able to effectively express happiness let alone anything beyond that. especially not love. it took her 21 years to tell me she was proud of me for something
he was my best friend though. i dont remember much about him but i feel. the warmth. the smiles. i loved him a lot. i think thats something my mom always feels bad about. inadequate. she knows she doesnt have the ability to express affection like he did. its okay though, i understand her. i get it.
my dad though. sometimes i wonder what itd be like if he were still around? idk. the Orphaned Wondering™️ lmao
logically he didnt abandon me. but he was one of the final and toughest nails in that coffin though. really the only clear memory i actually have of him though is seeing him cold and empty on the medical examination table. i was still small so my eyeballs were Level with his body. i didnt understand it. my mom accused me of using him as a crutch so much that i think it just forced my brain to Expunge as much information about him as possible just to prove her wrong bcos how can you crutch on the pain of losing someone you never even knew, right?
shes kept using that up till i was 22 or so. idr exactly when the last time she said that to me was. i think i stood up to her about it once and she stopped then. this was after she was already scared lmao i think the combination is what got her.
one of the big times i remember is when i finally came out to her as trans. she didnt like it to sum it up. she made me sit through one of her signature multi hour presentation lectures when i told her about how i was such a disappointment and a let down and blah blah blah and eventually i was sent away. the next day she sends me an email (LMAO AN EMAIL) basically telling me she doesnt support me and then goes on a long tirade about my father and using him as a crutch and how he died having two daughters and what would she say to him now because “yes 🥺 i still talk to him” and whatever.
that also started her long lines of kick out threats. after i came out to her, every two weeks to a month she would actively threaten to kick me out and give me ultimatums. leading to the Penultimate moment when i had gone down to texas with a friend to help them move for college and i went with them to a tattoo parlor so they could get a tattoo. my mom sees me at a tattoo parlor (she was On that tracking shit since well before life 360 was a thing. once she called me in the middle of class in highschool accusing me of being at the bar next door cos her shitty find my friends thing told her so and she made me facetime so she could talk to my teacher lmao) and accused me of getting a tattoo. told her i wasnt and she didnt believe me and told me i wasnt welcome back in her home and that i didnt need to bother coming to get my shit bcos its all getting bagged up and tossed out tomorrow. i was two thousand miles from home with only the clothes on my back. had a minor meltdown said fuck it and got a tattoo. then went to houston pride the next day and warped tour the day after that.
my friend i was with blamed themself and felt awful about it. i hope they didnt carry that with them for too long. it wasnt their fault. my mom was Searching for a reason other than the fact i was trans to kick me out. my friend talked to their mom and got me set up with her temporarily.
come to find out that at my bus stop back in town, my moms friend was there picking me up and taking me back to my moms house, effectively kidnapping me lmao. except i was 18 so can that rly be kidnapping? idk what the adult term is. abduction. middle of the night im escorted back into my moms house and she presents me with a contract, throughout the contents of which she addresses me as “the adult child”.
three months later i was moving from colorado to maine to live with my bow ex fiance lmao
thats enough brain shit for tonight. ive got a migraine building and ive been at this for an hour or smth
time to go smoke weed and watch the last episode of that gay pirate show lmao
#txt#journal#ofmd is honestly rly good i love it a lot#pirates make my brain go brrr#thinks abt that one space pirates fanfic i used to be obsessed w#might fuck around and reread it#it was basically its own fleshed out stand alone novel tbh#p well written w rly good oc’s#and i usually hate reading things w ocs#lmao
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frankenstein!johnny
okay so johnny was created in a lab obv
and he's got this mint green skin, stitches around each joint, and these two bolts sticking out of his neck for overnight charging (like he gets these jumper cables over the bolts and he gets really electric and zappy while he sleeps everyone stays 2596543 feet away from him
he also had this really cool USB port in his belly button right,,, like he can but a cord in it and hook himself up to an outlet for quick charge,,,
the scientist who created him put a lot of effort into him
he programmed him to have the brain of a 23 year old, which would grow as he did
it was a new technology the scientist had created that would help johnny create his own feelings and emotions and wants and needs
basically, because of this, johnny wants to be free
he wants to get out of the lab and see the world. he wants to see everything the world has to offer
he wants to taste things and see things and touch things
he's so excited and curious
like he has this innocence in his eyes that's so bright and friendly
and this spirit no one can tarnish
in the monct universe, humans and monsters coexist together
but there is still a lot of prejudice
like humans can be rlly mean to the monsters and so johnny's scientist (dad..?) is afraid that johnny's light might be diminished
so he agrees that johnny can leave the lab on one condition:
that he would live with a group of monster boys who are already used to living in the human world; a group of friends he can come back to if the world gets too harsh
so johnny moves in w monct,,, and his closest friends are probably invisible man!ten and ghost!jaehyun
except ten sometimes get on his nerves bc every time johnny comes out of his bedroom he'll screams "it's alive!!"
and johnny would smack him but ten is invisible so he can never find him yknow
anyway it's around halloween right and johnny sees these flyers all over the neighborhood announcing this huge halloween party for the college down the road,,, and it's called the monster mash
and johnny is like !!!! this so the perfect way to meet a bunch of new monsters and humans !!!!
it's even called monster mash so he must be allowed!!!
and he doesn't even have to dress up like he already looks like the classic frankenstein w his green skin and stitches and bolts like it's perfect!
so even tho vampire!taeil told him it probably wasn't a good idea, johnny ignored him and gets his clumsy green butt out to the party
it's at this giant frat house,, it's smaller than monct's house tho johnny is used to living in a gothic mansion and this is just a ... two story house
but he's never seen a second story house before!!! so he bounds up the steps ready to go to his first party
and he's really confused when everyone is telling him how nice his costume is and there are all these random are coming up and pulling at his stitches
,,, and it hurts,,,
so johnny kind of pushes everyone who comes near him away until he gets to the kitchen and he's suddenly looking for an outlet for a quick recharge bc nervousness takes up battery right
but someone beats him to it and shoves their phone charger in
and it's you, who came dressed as the bride of frankstein
but you're bored and your phone died after playing dumb ways to die for two hours so you decide to charge your phone and download a racing game lol
and that kitchen outlet is the only one open so you're like "sorry dude but i gotta charge my phone"
and johnny just stares at you and ,,,, are you a disembodied body too??
you like legit don't know what that means so you look down at your white dress and the green paint job that took far too long to do and stained your underwear.... "yes. that's me! i haven't found another frakenstein! how'd you get your bolts to look so realistic??"
he taps his bolts w his industrial fingernail like they are real!!!
and you don't quite get what he's saying bc tbh you've never rlly met a monster before
johnny doesn't know this but monsters and humans tend to not hang out around each other too much
for instance, they don't go to human parties unless specifically invited ,,,, the comradery isn't great in this town
so you're like wow!!! real bolts!!! how did you get them on your neck?? did you glue them??
and johnny furrows his eyebrows like lol why is this other disembody acting like she doesn't know how her own body works??
"what do you mean? they're real ... like they're actually in my neck. they're where I plug in my battery."
and you just stop like oh
oh
it takes him awhile to figure out that you aren't rlly a monster: he checks your costume w his perfect vision and can see that your green makeup is smeared with sweat, mixing in w your actual skin tone, and that your bolts are just tin foil taped to your neck
"i ... i've got to go"
and just like that he leaves.
you feel bad like just because he's a monster doesn't mean the two of you can't get along?? he seemed super sweet and didn't even yell at you for stealing his outlet???
lowkey you want to learn more abt this dude lol
but he's gone without a goodbye, and you have no idea where to find him
GOOD THING FATE INTERVENED
so you head to the auto part store bc your car needs new brake pads,,,,, so you're there to get brake pads obv
and as you're walking down the store, scanning each aisle looking for the one you need to go down
you see this v v tall dude in a hat, sunglasses, and scarf combination
it's the boy from the party, you can tell, so you walk over to him. "do you need any help?"
"yeah, actually, which —" he stops talking when he sees you and suddenly customer!johnny is now flustered!johnny like if his cheeks had been programmed to blush,,,,, he would be blushing
mostly bc he didn't think you could look any cuter than you did at the party,,,,, but you do!!
he takes off his sunglasses and gets super flustered like "h-hi, again."
and your hand is already out for a shake. "my name is y/n."
johnny stares at your hand "okay? what are you doing?"
he sort of lacks the understanding for a lot of basic gestures and stuff
but that's okay bc you just take his hand and give the limp appendage a shake
and suddenly your entire body feels extremely tingly and your hair stands up on end
"sorry!" johnny is retracting his hand and backing up, nearly running into a tire display in the process "taeil told me a wool scarf was a bad idea for my bolts."
you giggle "you're really cute. what's your name?"
"i'm johnny"
"well, johnny, there's this really cool ice cream place down the road. do you wanna go with me?"
johnny furrows his eyebrows for a moment, "is this a date?"
"sure"
"oh, well i've never had ice cream."
"really?"
it turns out johnny hasn't experienced a lot of basic things in life, since he technically just a few months old
... good thing he'll have you to help him!!!
once y'all are dating he doesn't even hold back weird questions he just let's em go
he wonders a lot abt the human body and how it functions
like the first time you cried in front of him it was bc of a sad movie + period combo
and johnny is like i've never seen real live tears before what do i do what do i do
you basically have to calm him down like it's okay johnny,,, it's just my period,,,, now come cuddle me
he oblidges obv but he won't stop asking abt your period like he's curious okay
and his bolts make little buzzing noises from time to time
witch!mark made a charmed cover for them so you wouldn't get shocked every time the two of you hugged or cuddled
"y/n?"
"what?"
"i think i love you."
you understand his words,,, why he only said think,,, bc it's an emotion he's only known in theory so far. and the fact that he confessed something so sweet and honest to you made you sure of your next words
"i think i love you too, johnny."
this is part of a collab w @trickortaeil for monster!nct this october. the next installment will be on her blog, with taeyong! also i highkey based johnny off of frankie from the monster high books. please enjoy!
#johnny au#johnny imagine#johnny imagines#johnny scenarios#johnny scenario#johnny fluff#johnny angst#johnny reactions#johnny reaction#monster!au#monster!nct#frankenstein!johnny#nct au#nct angst#nct scenario#nct scenarios#nct imagine#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct reactions#nct reaction#destwrites
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how much would u hate me if i asked u to do every single uncommon question for an oc of ur choice?
the absolute madman he actually did it
im gonna put this under the cut sdjkfhsdjfsjkl also im answering for pascal because. Thats My Boy
1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?
he’s gotten really good at it since he had to start hiding from murder robots... but even before then he was never a super fidgety person so he could sit very still !
2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?
he’s good at pretending everything’s fine when it’s all actually Rather Shit so. yeah pretty easy
3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)
thinking mostly.... sometimes he’ll talk to someone and drift off from there but it depends on who’s on lookout or how quiet the group has to stay
4. How easy is it to earn their trust?
he tries to remain suspicious of people he meets but at heart he’s too trusting for his own good tbh.... he does try to hold off on trusting stangers these days but hes still a little soft
5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?
yeah pretty easy. like it’s easy enough to get him to trust you in the first place but once you do something to fuck that up then good luck getting it back lmao
6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?
laws arent really. a thing anymore djkfhdljk but when they were he’d like... say laws are immovable and very needed and then do stuff that completely contradicted that view
7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?
cooking !! it reminds him of when he used to help his mum out with houseowrk/cooking. he. doesnt really like the feeling because it reminds him that he has no idea if his family is actually still alive or not :(
8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child
“stop playing in the dirt”
9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?
he doesnt swear heaps but he does enough that it’s not super shocking whenever he does. he sweras more the angrier/more agitated he gets
10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?
he’d regularly lie to his mum just so he could get out of the house and go to parties lol. he’s not super haunted by it or anything (& he was a pretty good kid otherwise so he figures he was allowed at least this one not great thing)
11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?
he’ll try to play along until he can figure stuff out but if he cant he’ll just go “what tf is happening”
12. How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?
either gets someone to scratch it or uses like. a ruler or smth
13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?
he thinks he looks best in green but it’s... not his best colour
14. What animal do they fear most?
big dogs... scarey :(
15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?
he usually just says whatever comes to his mind tbh. idk how to properly descrive it but like... the way he talks makes him sound smart but not arrogant about it yknow. like you hear him talk and youre like “yeah this is a guy who knows what hes doing”
16. What makes their stomach turn?
not much tbh?? like before everything turned Awful he was studying forensic entomology so like. hes got a bit of an iron stomach lmao. the smell of rotting meat maybe
17. Are they easily embarrassed?
not really? if he does get embarrassed he’s pretty decent at hiding it
18. What embarrasses them?
when he’s the centre of attention in a big group and he can feel everyone staring at him and his face goes all red and aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA
19. What is their favorite number?
7 !!
20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?
he’d go on a really long tangent about it and possibly not even answer the question at hand tbh
21. Why do they get up in the morning?
to not die, mostly
22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?
he’ll become pretty aloof and just. not wanna talk. he’ll avoid the target of jealousy a bit as well oops
23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?
he’ll do everything in his power to one-up whatever’s making him envious. it rarely works
24. Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?
he is comfortable talking about it !! really the only thing that ever stops him talking about it is if someone else is uncomfortable with it
25. What are their thoughts on marriage?
he likes the idea ! if he does get married though he wants to do it wayyyyy in the future he’s not ready to settle down
26. What is their preferred mode of transportation?
before everything went shit he preferred driving, now he walks everywhere
27. What causes them to feel dread?
robots. or when astrid is pissed
28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?
he says he’d prefer an unpleasant truth but when it actually comes time to deal with it he doesnt go too great lol
29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?
he tries... whether he succeeds is another question
30. Who do they most regret meeting?
[redacted for spoilers]
31. Who are they the most glad to have met?
astrid !! as much as he loves everyine else in the group she’s the only one who could realistically protect him if something were to go wrong. shes just more secure
32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?
not really ??
33. Could they be considered lazy?
nah not really !! he’s always been a hard worker
34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?
it follows him around for a loooooong time. whether it goes away or just fades into background noise really depends on the situation but it’s not easy for him
35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?
he always tries to be supportive !! unless it’s something like. morally disgusting then No but he tries to support his friends even if he thinks whateber theyre talking about is kinda dumb
36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?
he just kinda waits it out !! when the world was Not Shit his friends would be regularly trying to set him up with people so he never had to work super hard for it :’)
37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?
i cant remember the name for it but he does the thing where like. he’ll associate thing a with thing b by finding something that connects them togehter? like a syllable in thing a sounds like thing b so. yeah. im good at explaining
38. What memory do they revisit the most often?
either when astrid helped him bust out of the factory he was trapped working in or just miscellaneous memories of his mum & siblings
39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?
he tends to ignore people’s flaws which can lead to issues
40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?
he tries to be self critical but he’s not really self critical enough for it to make a solid difference. usually he has to be told what he’s doing before he consciously realises it
41. How do they feel about children?
he likes them !! he was the oldest of a lot of siblings so he knows how to handle them & he’s pretty good with them
42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal?
his end goal is to stop robots killing everything & for everything to go back to normal so id say he wants that pretty fuckin bad
43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?
“hey pascal are you into--” “yes”
QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS (I wasnt sure if you wanted me to do these ones too so. shrug emoji)
A) Why are you excited about this character?
i made him for my comic which. i will start one day fdklgjdlkjgd..... also hes just fun to develop ! i gave him a bunch of traits i rlly like and also i made him like bugs a lot so. i am biased
B) What inspired you to create them?
uh. needed characters for the comic hehe.....i cant remember the exact process i went thru when making him?? i wanted someone who was close to astrid/who she could trust, plus i had the idea for a backstory (i think. like i said i cant remember my exact process)
C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?
not really, i came up with the concept before i actually made his character
D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?
he’s always had the same appearance !! even though i should probably change it a little because he looks different every time i try drawing him but shhhhh
E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?
hes someone i would think is super cool but then. would never actually talk to jkdsfhsdjkhfsdjk. he’d be nice to my face but i’m....not sure what he’d genuinely think of me oops
F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?
THATS MY FACKING BOY BABEYEYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also excited bc i have angst planned ^____^
G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?
he’s too gullible and willing to trust strangers. he should know better but he’s too much of an optimist for his own good !!
H) What trait do you admire most?
he’s always able to put on a happy face when he’s feeling awful because he doesnt want anyone to worry & he doesnt wanna bring anyone down !! he’s always thinking ahout everyone else before himself
I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?
i dont know what this means..... yes??
J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?
uhh technically not ?? in his original concept he was gonna be in a poly relationship with 2 others but i cut the other members of the relationship. not because of pascal it’s because i thought the group would get too big and like. they value stealth and sneakiness. plus it’s harder for big groups to travel undetected
#im too lazy tp check for typos fdgjdlkjDFLGJDLFJGDK#THANK YOU FOR THE ASK. I AM DEAD#ask#ocs#daudside-r#one day ill start this comic. i was gonna aim for this month but. hm#anyway i lvoe my boy#and also all my kids#ok bye its 2.30am
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Do all of them!
1: is there a boy/girl in your life?
Ye! Sammy! @deziac
2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
Um... My family, probably, and no.
3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”
Kitty! I love kitties!
4: what’s something you really want right now?
an apartment. on a less serious side, um, glasses???
5: are you afraid of falling in love?
Nope! I already have and since we’re poly im sure i will again owo
6: do you like the beach?
so/so. depends on my mood.
7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
um... a pull out sofa, does that count? i have a hard time sleeping unless i can fully lie down.
8: what’s the background on your cell?
my old phone was tony my new phone is space. not sure what it’ll be soon. >w>;; considering i need to redownload all the stuff i got off tumblr. :’( i lost all my snapchat stuff, but i moved all of izaya to my computer so that’s fine.
9: name the last four beds you were sat on?
what??? O_o; um... a homeless shelter’s bed and other than that they were all my own??? (not counting the “bed” made of sheets at the one place.)
10: do you like your phone?
i just got a new one!! uwu It has 32GB with it’s own internal storage and I have a 32GB sd card. nwn;; So I have a lot of space~! plus it has a fingerprint sensor and im in love with unlocking it like that owo
11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?
prolly not, but when do they?
12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
sammy! bc we both got new phhones!
13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
i heard poodles have bad temperaments!! idk about rottweilers!! whichever one is nicer??/
14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
emotional!! physical heals!! short time span for pain! emotional might not go away!
15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
DONt mmake me chosoelk??! i love both!!! i lovemy fluffy butts and i went to the met in new york!!! it was so cool!!! swords!! armor!! egypt!! aahhhh!!! i cant choose!!
16: are you tired?
im always tired!!!
17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?
um... well it’s sammy
so uh, ten years in march owo (technically december was the first time we met!! but we count it as march since that’s when he started talking rly)
18: are they a relative?
no!!
19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?
it depends on if they changed their personality!! if not then no!! i mean i did get back with sammy but yknow we just count that as a break since we did actually get back together lmao
20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?
this morning!! she is at work so she’s not too talkative rn!
21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
we’re fine with what we’re at!! i don’t need to marry her to make it ‘official’!! we’ve lasted almost 9 years and through some big hardships!! both of us unmedicated and dealing with new medication changes, so i think we’re fine!!
22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
of course!! :P
23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
two!! my blue sylveon bracelet (i love sylveon, i would wear umbreon but i think i packed it!!!) and my pride rainbow bracelet! i took them off when we were looking for a shelter bc i was scared we’d get denied if they saw obvious gay signs :(
24: is there a certain quote you live by?
not directly!! something along the lines of that there is no set path in life you have to choose which ways you want to twist and turn and they’ll lead you onto new and bigger things.
25: what’s on your mind?
music! stuff for my phone! i have a lot of stuff i need to add to eeet!! it’s only a day oolllddd.
26: do you have any tattoos?
yes! it’s for my kitty who passed away! Her name was luna. I’m sure i’ve posted a picture somewhere.
27: what is your favorite color?
#00C5FF
28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
prolly tonight. owo
29: who are you texting?
Sammy owo
30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?
probably?? lol what.
31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
YES ACTUALLY D: idk if it happened any other time, but when we got into the car accident when I told our one friend we were joking about her coming up and hanging with us all my brain said was ‘You shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that.’ and again when we went out to the car and it was pretty heavy snow fall. I was like ‘I shouldn’t go.’ my problem with that one was I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t think ‘we shouldn’t go’. but... what can you do now?
32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
um. i don’t think i have a super close opposite sex friend. closest would probably be @h0bsyrup
33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?
I’m sure Sammy does. >w> I’m not sure otherwise. My followers don’t tell me that stuff.
34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yes omg. Sammy was staring me in the eyes the other day and was like ‘your eyes are pretty’ and i’m like ‘omfg shut up >//
35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
if they’re not dating then she’s gonna punch their lights out, so i don’t have to worry.
36: were you single on valentines day?
November 24th, 2008 is when I started dating Sammy. You tell me.
37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?
... of course?? wtf is with these kiss questions.
38: what do your friends call you?
Kiki :D
39: has anyone upset you in the last week?
lil bit.
40: have you ever cried over a text?
Um... probably. I can’t remember.
41: where’s your last bruise located?
omg... um i guess undermy belly button is the latest bruise??? i have a lot atm from surgery and being motionless for four days!!
42: what is it from?
Sammy actually like harshly pushed on that area. like when you go to land somewhere with your full weight then you go ‘oh fuck’ yeah.
43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
um... recently??? but i guess not as bad as with my mom.
44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?
Sammy owo
45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?
Nah.
46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?
No.my hair style is like 99% bun.
47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?
i dont follow trends i set them.
48: do you make supper for your family?
not recently but i would for sammy and i usually
49: does your bedroom have a door?
i don’t have a “bedroom” atm e.e
50: top 3 web-pages?
tambo.c0m (tumblr), archiveofourown.org (ao3), youtube.com (the three i use the most anyway)
51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?
Sammy. xD at least food shopping.
52: does anything on your body hurt?
Abdomen. (:
53: are goodbyes hard for you?
it depends. if it’s unnecessary then prolly. if they’ve fucked me over idc. (i.e. my family trying to replace my mom’s abusiveness, fuck them.)
54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
prolly water owo
55: how is your hair?
it’s feeling fine, thank you for asking!
56: what do you usually do first in the morning?
it depends! if it’s my “morning” i wake up and usually bathroom.
57: do you think two people can last forever?
sure but it takes work. it’s not gonna be perfect 24/7 without communication or compromise.
58: think back to january 2007, were you single?
ye. omfg why would you give me nightmares. that’s when i started the rping side of myspce and met that douche wesley. his lying ass made me start self harming. fuck him.
59: green or purple grapes?
i don’t eat grapes .w.;;
60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?
sometime in the future! prolly sammy!
61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
in an apartment. >w> or at the pompeii exhibit!!!
62: when will be the next time you text someone?
possibly today
63: where will you be 5 hours from now?
lying in bed. :D
64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.
struggling to be alive. (eating chocolate chip muffins)
65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?
oh god. w8 no. i didn’t like anyone yet. that started like october or shit. ugh my ex. he became an ass. (aside from sammy obvs)
66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
sammy!!
67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?
um... i don’t think so. i think we were both too tired and stressed. we didn’t get into bed until like 1 and the shelter has us be out of beds by 8:30 x3x;
68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
um... ‘i should go back to sleep’ after waking up a third time and distracting myself with the phone
69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
yeah,but at least i tried.
70: how many windows are open on your computer?
it’s not *my* computer, so it doesn’t count! ;D (8 but im downloading music stfu)
71: how many fingers do you have?
i have 10. my one pinky counts as a half finger sometimes though. i broke it and bc i didnt have insurance i never went to a doctor to get it fully take care of so it healed up all wrong.
72: what is your ringtone?
default at the moment!
73: how old will you be in 5 months?
oh fuck i’ll be 24. man if you asked me that back in june i’d be like ‘still 23 (;’ but no. my bday is december
74: where is your mum right now?
She passed away. :/
75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?
I realize that as much as I wanted to believe it was love, it never fully blossomed into that until I was with Sammy. I don’t think I’ve truly ever gotten to love anyone else, but that’s okay.
76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
of course owo sammy and i are hella gay don’t u know.
77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?
i believe so owo we just don’t talk as much bc im a lazy sack of shit.
78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?
fuck. i think i had a minor crush on some dude who also liked green day but never fuckin talked to me so i never bothered. that might’ve also technically been when i started liking wesley. does billie joe from green day count?
79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?
personally? uh.... i’m not totally sure o-o; fuck me man.
80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
probably wait yes. sammy. spooning is our fave position.
81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?
e.e no one that wasn’t a celebrity.
82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?
no bc shelter e.e
83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?
:P i talk to them everyday.
84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
i wouldn’t get drunk! i wouldn’t scream at ppl! that’s rude! ppl usually can’t even hear you when you yell at the window! we hear ‘whoosh’ with your voice in the middle’
85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?
i would be concerned since she’s said she doesn’t like them!!
86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?
um... oh! a conversation started and a lil girl asked if we were in a certain theatre and I said ‘no we were in theatre blah’ so I asked what they went and saw. She said “Wonder Woman” “hey we just came out of that, too!” :P
87: who was your last received call from?
.3.; sammy
88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?
i-i’m torn??? i needm oney but poor butter-san... ;____;
89: what is something you wish you had more of?
money. clothes maybe
90: have you ever trusted someone too much?
yeah. lmao.
91: do you sleep with your window open?
i usually do! esp in the winter/summer! need air and love cold!
92: do you get along with girls?
ye!
93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
no. owo
94: does sex mean love?
no! sex is something that can bring someone closer, but it is not necessary for a relationship!
95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
>3>;;; again, no.
96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
owo; indirectly. i shared a drink with someone who had one. xD
97: did you sleep alone this week?
not this week! :D last week. ;~; at the hospital.
98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?
yes. >3>
99: do you believe in love at first sight?
no!!! that’s not love!! you might end up loving them but you can’t love someone unless you know them!! :c otherwise it’ll lead to some bad decisions!! D:
100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?
OwO Sammy I think.
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tell me about your kokuyo gang headcanons pls and thanks
Let us talk about my children the Kokuyo Gang aka Mukuro, Ken, Chikusa, M.M., and the rest but not Chrome because Chrome is a member of the Vongola Family and was kicked out. :^) EDIT: NO FRAN BECAUSE THIS POST GOT TOO LONG GOMEN. I’m going to do a paragraph or so segment for each character I think with some canon facts mixed into headcanon so have FUN!
Mukuro- Mukuro has a lot of canon info already so this is gonna be on the shorter part. Mukuro is a little shit kjasnd Mukuro enjoys reading of all types- from picking up a magazine to novels. He is also very spiritual- yes his powers have ties to the levels of Hell, but I can see religion and belief systems being topics of interest for him. He’s extremely up to date on politics (less in a “wow politics is interesting” and more as a study of people. He watches to see the corruption, lies, and abuse of power. And let’s make it pretty damn clear that if he had nothing better to do/ there was no effort to it, Mukuro would 10000% be okay murdering those people in cold blood because he can. I feel like a lot of people forget Mukuro is a villain (antihero but still a villain too). On a less serious side of everything though- Mukuro can also be very laid back and playful. He pampers himself (spa day with M.M., glass of wine FRUIT COCKTAIL, video games with the rest of the gang, etc.) As serious and scary as he can come across, he is still a teenager. A teenager that is fully aware of how bad the world can be, but also in a bit of a chuuni-bubble where he feels this one man illusionist wrecking machine can take over everything and his only obstacle atm is the Vongola Family.
Also Mukuro strikes me as someone who would enjoy David Lynch movies. I mean I’m not projecting my love of Twin Peaks on him, but watching Twin Peaks made me think he’d enjoy it a fair amount. :T Or at least Fire Walk With Me.
Ken- SMELLY BOI. I love Ken. Ken may not be the smartest, but do not call him stupid! He just works things out differently. Ken can pick up on small things that many people miss due to his keen observation skills; his sense of smell, hearing, and vision are all heightened compared to a normal human being. He can almost “sniff” out illusions if they’re not very well done and he is a natural at catching someone in a lie. Ken canonically hates bathing but I can also see him being grubby in general- he doesn’t floss as much as he should or clean his ears, he has dirty nails, runs around barefoot a lot- stuff like that. Ken doesn’t eat his veggies either. He’s like that one tumblr post where Chikusa is the “Do you feel guilty when you dont eat vegetables/ only junk food for awhile and you need healthy food to feel better?” “Idk Kakipi I’ve only had soda and gushers for 3 days and I feel fine” “Ken...no...” That is Ken. Ken has a huge fear of doctors/dental offices in general, but I think one of the biggest things that he’s scared of is anesthesia and needles, even though these things are supposed to help. Seeing tanks of nitrous or the small plastic mask to go over one’s mouth and nose really drive up his anxiety. Only Chikusa and Mukuro can really calm him down and convince him everything will be okay. Even if the doctor is Verde/ someone he has developed a degree of trust, he still cannot control his PTSD. Ken hates wearing suits and he doesn’t really like getting new clothes either- not so much anything against new clothes, he just likes wearing the same smelly shirt 5 days out of the week if he can. Also, not a set in stone headcanon, but I can picture Ken being colorblind.
Chikusa- Chikusa is such an overlooked character aaah- Okay first off- Chikusa is not as smart as Mukuro, but smarter than Ken. He sometimes reads or peaks into the books that Mukuro is reading, and he does try to continue his education however way he can. There actually isn’t a subject he really dislikes, but Ken and M.M. tease him for still doing things like homework or reading the old textbooks they have despite none of them going to school. Chikusa is also one of the only few in the house to do chores: cleaning, cooking, making Ken take a bath, grocery shopping, etc. He can also do small sewing/stitches for mending holes and he learns small skills relatively quickly as long as they aren’t too complex. Despite his extreme loyalty to Mukuro and rarely seen without Ken tagging along, Chikusa is a very independent person. Introverted, but independent. He spends his time at home playing video games and listening to music, and when he needs to leave, he just goes out. Chikusa is a better functioning adult as a teenager than most adults LOL (minus the fact he has no bills to pay). Chikusa tries to save his allowance money but usually gives some to Ken for whatever small reason like a few extra tries in an arcade game, some junk food or comic, etc. He never brings it up or asks for money in return but sometimes sighs with reluctance. If he really doesn’t want to, he’ll say no, but there’s usually a reason (”Ken we need real groceries. I’m not eating gum for dinner.” “I need to replace my headphone cord” “I have a crack in my glasses” etc.) Opposite to Ken, Chikusa tries to have really good hygiene. The only thing that truly bothers him is that he can’t wash his hair as much as he’d like, but he covers it with his hat and possibly dry shampoo from M.M. if desperate.
Chikusa is ambidextrous. :v
ABOUT THE BARCODE- Okay so another person I rp’d with had the headcanon of Chikusa being a twin and the barcode being a way the Estraneo kept track of them, which I thought was fucking genius. Screencaps and manga scans show he didn’t have that tattoo as a kiddo/pre-Mukuro rampage, so technically it isn’t accurate, but it’s a thought nonetheless. I do consider the barcode a tattoo and not drawn on/temporary/birthmark/etc. I still like that idea as an honoring thing. Like if he had a twin who they marked but the twin died during an experiment so when they were out of there he did it as a we-will-never-be-apart thing.M.M. - MY DAUGHTERU. God M.M. is such a good character but people snub her because she’s a “bitch” and a woman (I say that because when Mammon is greedy it is cute but when M.M. is greedy she’s bad. Same with her attitude! If a male shounen character acted that way he’d be like, a princely type. So yeah I think a lot of M.M. hate comes from people who don’t respect women :T)
ANYWAYS I genuinely love the idea of M.M.’s name/design/background having a small reference to the book series of Madeline. PROBLEM HERE IS I HAVE TWO HEADCANON BACKGROUNDS FOR HER AND I LIKE BOTH SO HERE THEY ARE: I headcanon her real name as Madeline, and the she was sent off to a wealthy all girl’s boarding school as a child. She lost her parents at a very young age and inherited a small fortune, but had nowhere to go. She would stay and live in the boarding school until school was out, and then stay with an estranged relative during the breaks. However, she quickly started staying at “friends” homes instead as her limited family did not look after her or have any interest in her actual well being. THE OTHER VERSION VERY SIMILAR BUT INSTEAD OF BEING WEALTHY SHE WAS VERY POOR AND SENT TO A WEALTHY SCHOOL. The idea of her either being a poor young girl who got a taste of riches and fucking took it or the idea of a young girl who grew up wealthy but was surrounded by people who wanted what she got made her be a lot harder and did a fuck you all I’m M.M. and I get what I want. I love both those ideas and I can see them both working as a background. Both M.M.s’ see how the capitalism really runs the world and the main difference is one just had to work a little more to get rich while the other had less of a struggle but equal amount of determination. M.M. learned quickly that she was rather “pretty” to men and with money, she wouldn’t have to run to anyone or need help from anyone.
To earn money, she started as a small petty thief and moved on to grander schemes quickly. M.M. was a talented shoplifter and would pick up on things she could sell off to the girl’s in school, and then for the big money she knows how to blackmail people and get dirt on anyone. A cheap disposable camera and risky photos can ruin a person’s life. A little bit of alcohol is all it really takes for someone to make a horrible mistake. Also a lot of alcohol can make someone pass out and lose all the money in their wallet. Although she never liked the business, I can see M.M. knowing the fastest cash she could make would be to sell drugs to other girls. A little coke here and there. Think of that post making fun of the group of white boys vs. hipsters with the caption “Who would pay more for weed?” M.M. knows who and knows how to convince them “this is some really rare good stuff that I stole from my parents~ Yknow it’s imported from Amsterdam~” or “Hey I heard you want to lose weight, yknow I know how you can be the thinnest girl in school~” M.M. is resourceful and cunning and she can and will prey on someone’s insecurities for money. M.M. has been arrested and does have a mugshot, but this was in the beginning of her thieving days and she was released later that night. She also may or may not have tried to seduce her guard(s). Also despite her flirting and knowing what she CAN do, she has never gone into sex work. She hasn’t met a man or woman who can afford her. She’s a virgin but she’ll lie about it/ leave it ambiguous just to see what pays more. :T
Now a lot of this all applies to her before she joined the Kokuyo gang. Mukuro had heard about M.M. when seeing her mugshot in a trashy gossip magazine. A young, pretty and precocious teenage girl with a natural talent of stealing? No family really known/ totally independent? Why not try and get her in your growing gang of misfits. She was hesitant at first, but Mukuro, in Verde’s own words, is extremely charismatic. Plus she finds him cute and really saw promise in his plans. She hates Kokuyo Land because of how dirty it is, and actually bothered to have her part of the hideout remodeled for her liking (a nice bed, a vanity in her room, a throw rug over the damaged floorboards, etc.) She managed to turn abandoned and run down into “shabby chic” but she’s hoping she can get it to a more Versailles tier one day.
Not to bring up Twin Peaks again but after watching it I definitely get Audrey Horne vibes out of M.M.
M.M. has the highest education of the Kokuyo Gang and has actually has a very good understanding of chemistry. Her main passion though is music and she genuinely loves to play her clarinet in her room for fun.
OTHER CHARACTERS!:
FUN “FACTS”:
M.M. is a Sephora VIB Rouge member and makes fun of people who have to shop at Ulta (except she does shop at Ulta when no one is looking.)
Each member of the Kokuyo Gang has a preferred fighting video game and main. (SIDE NOTE: I don’t play enough fighting games to be familiar with every character’s play styles in all games so these ideas can easily change) Mukuro- Mortal Kombat (I only played MK1 for genesis and MKX which I suck at but I can see him playing Scorpion and beating up Johnny Cage repeatedly), Ken- Tekken and probably mains Kuma (Ken can definitely tap the buttons fast enough for those combos), Chikusa- Street Fighter as Ryu/ he keeps things very classic (But usually he plays whatever Ken wants to play, so I can see him maybe playing a lot of Yoshimitsu), and M.M. is Soul Calibur as Ivy, who is definitely 100% not overpowered. Also Fran plays Smash bros. and he’s probably a Mewtwo spamming lil shit. Or Metaknight.
Chikusa’s likes to go inside Tower Records and Mandarake stores, but rarely buys anything because of his limited finances.
They didn’t have cable until Verde moved in and would sometimes watch daytime television. Local news, daytime soaps, public tv anime, etc. Sometimes they rent videos for a night at home, or sneak into movie theaters with a little illusion help.
NONE OF THEM HAVE GONE TO A DOCTOR OR DENTIST (except M.M. and Fran when he was at his granny’s) because of their past trauma. When Team Verde was formed, Verde did a health assessment but has been unsuccessful at making any of them see a dentist. Especially Ken- but Ken does take better care of his channels.
i have so much more to type but oh fuck i went on sorry chi jkdsfnaksdfn
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