#technology and robots to do everything for us INCLUDING THINKING APPARENTLY

[fantastical-euphoria]

things i do not under any means or circumstances support:

-ai (fucking creepy ass shit)

-chatgpt

-any university or school that condones the use of either (you’re basically cheating your way not just through school but with life and to think that there’s people out there actually CONFIDENT in the next generation who are lazy enough to rely on ROBOTS to teach them how to be teachers and doctors and engineers and shit like that?!?!?! fucking hell did we learn anything from those dystopian/apocalyptic depictions in movies/documentaries/psa’s?!?! seems not. how are we educating our future generations if we’re not even relying on our own fucking BRAINS to educate them?!?! just saddens me tbh. mmkay rant over.

[monocle-teacup]

Have some more Mandroid and a Cat: Tagging @sveene and @yayoineko since I know they would enjoy it.

As important as ridding Earth of the Cybertronian menace was, the unfortunate reality was that Stephen had to worry about something mundane like finances. After all, the materials, tools, and other equipment needed cost money. Most of his income was from him selling his tech or designing robots. He made it a point to do everything above board so that he didn’t entangle himself with any unsavory elements. The idea of having to contact Croft for anything was something he wanted to avoid. 

Once a month he would sit at his desk and go over figures. Of course, he had a small amount set aside for things like food and toiletries. He never spent extravagantly on himself since it would take away from his mission. Occasionally he would buy a book, but that was it. Most would consider his lifestyle minimalist. It was all necessary if he wanted to succeed. 

He scowled as he tallied up the amount of money needed to replace what was destroyed thanks to Optimus and Megatron. Walls and windows didn’t fix themselves. It was safe to assume that he was going to run into them more often since they were now aware of his existence. That was fine for the scientist since having either leader’s parts would be a welcome addition to his collection.

Leaning back in his chair, he was startled when he felt weight in his lap. Looking down, he saw the cat’s green eyes staring up at him.

“How long have you been there?” he asked, not expecting an answer.

“Mew!”

He remembered enough about feline behavior to know that the animal wouldn’t be moving anytime soon. There was still more of the budget to look over so he would be seated longer anyway. 

As he went over numbers, he absentmindedly started petting the cat with his left hand. His concentration faltered when he realized just how bony the creature was. Odd. It didn’t appear as if it was starving to death, but it clearly wasn’t getting enough food. Apparently the Arachnamechs had been too effective at driving away vermin from his lab. 

“You’re also in need of a bath.” Stephen commented, noting how the animal was purring. There was a sharp intake of breath from him as he felt claws digging into his leg. The cat wasn’t trying to scratch him, but was flexing its paws in contentment. “You also need your nails trimmed.”

It had been a while since he felt so relaxed. He knew that there had been actual studies about the benefits of petting certain animals. Having something else to talk to aside from the Arachnamechs was also pleasant. What he could really use was human conversation. In his quest to eradicate the Cybertronian threat, he had isolated himself. GHOST was a phone call away, but he’d be damned before he went back to them again.

“You only need to worry about food, water, and shelter.” he said while looking at the cat again. The feline let out a “Mrr” and tilted its head so that he was stroking its chin. He felt a vibration against his fingers. “I suppose this is your favorite spot?” he asked with a smile.

He spent a few minutes simply rubbing the animal’s face. An idea formed in the back of his mind that gradually took hold of his attention. Was he really thinking of working out the budget to include items for the cat? It wasn’t even his! He had more important things to worry about. If it came down to it, he could always leave it in a box near a populated area in the hopes that someone would claim it.

“Yes, that’s an option. Although a bath would increase the chances of someone taking you.” 

He wouldn’t be the one to do it though. Though he was better at using his Cybertronian hand, he still didn’t want to risk harming the cat. It was safe to assume that the feline would be difficult to bathe. On his rare trips to town, he thought he saw a pet grooming business. Obviously he wouldn’t be able to enter looking the way he did, but he had cloaking technology to fix that.

[pollenat]

ITZY and 5 ways to say I love you

YEJI

Her hands resting on the sides of your head. Fingers caress, rub and play with where face meets hairline. Though Yeji’s small smile is one of soft feelings, you think the feelings inside your stomach possess none of her delicacy. They’re violent, twisting your insides, because the woman in front of you is way too much for your poor heart. And though your own touch isn’t telling, you’re worried she will learn it from a stray line on your skin. Why else would she be taking in the sight of your face with so much attention?

The feeling of being alone in the world, save it for Yeji’s warmth by your side. The night sky is dotted with stars, the forest is overflowing with leaves, animals are singing their evening ballad. You should’ve left a while ago, but lying in a field, just a few meters away from the forest’s edge, doesn’t feel half bad. And you’re here with Yeji, her embracing arm a pleasant reminder she’ll protect you if she has to. After all, it was her idea to stay back so late to enjoy the privacy and the sight of a clean sky.

Everyday objects you find in the pockets of your clothes. They may consist of tissues, old packs of gum, hair ties, or anything, really. What makes them so special, is the fact that each has a memory attached. A memory of Yeji. Whether she’s borrowed a jacket and forgot her lip balm, or lost a ring while hiding her hand in a pocket of your coat. Even the tissue she’s made a comment about – everything has her invisible name attached.

An abandoned teacup. It’s empty, lying on a coffee table filled with junk food. Plastic packages and crumbs mix into disgusting mess. TV plays in the background, characters of some teen movie have just started an unpopular musical number. A foot lies on your thigh. Its owner puts a chip in her mouth, eyes taking in the choreography. You couldn’t be any less interested in cliché songs about the power of friendship, but your better half? She’s that one hobby you can never see yourself giving up on. Yeji trashes in her place, doing her best to escape your tickling fingers, meanwhile laughing like a maniac.

The fact she’s never mad. Just disappointed. Her eyes, instead of endearment, offer you that damned sadness – a pointy arrow at your head, saying it’s all your fault for causing her gloom. If it wasn’t for your presence in her life, none of this would have ever happened. How dare you exist next to her when all you personify is the wrong? How dare you stab and claw at her heart when you were meant to heal and embrace it? And then the allusion that if you had tried, the things would have been better. But you never try, right? You’re the villain, right?

LIA

Face hidden in your neck. Arms tight around your body. Feet tucked in the space between yours. Soft noises of content. Hair basically pushed against your mouth. Despite the overwhelming presence, you feel happy. Your face hides in her hair. Arms lock on her back. You sigh from the very same sense of content. The hair on your tongue doesn’t annoy you. If anything, it brings another reason of enjoyment - the familiar smell of Jisoo’s favorite cosmetics.

Sudden grip on your hand. A look back at her pale face and uncertain eyes that scan your closest surroundings. With the night above and most people asleep, streets feel sinister. The individuals that are out and about bring a sense of danger, like they’re all mad from bloodlust. Like they all have only the devil’s doing in mind. Keeping the thoughts to yourself, you put out a brave front of indifference. If it’s what it takes to bring Jisoo a sense of comfort, you’ll make it a show to be remembered. Maybe even you will be fooled into peace.

A little kiss. Fingertips locked on your chin. Wide smile she adds as a bonus. And just like that, a moment later, she’s gone. You’re watching her back distancing itself from you with a little spring to Jisoo’s step. Are you the reason, or just an effect? Only when she stops and turns around do you realize, that you’re supposed to be accompanying her. But that’s Jisoo to you – so show-stopping you could forget to breathe even with throat tight and itchy. She doesn’t laugh, just smiles, as if she was aware that she, in fact, is the effect.

Hiding beneath a rainbow colored umbrella, with Jisoo stuck close to your side. You promised her a walk, but sneaky rain clouds have decided to make their surprise entrance. The weather forecast was so sure in their predictions of a sunny weather… Never again will you so blindly trust technology. Irritation clear on your face, you take a look to the side at Jisoo. Her head is leaning against your shoulder. Green and yellow clash on her features. Despite the uncomfortable sight of dark locks glued to her cheeks, she’s smiling. You’re not sure what is there to be happy about, but no comment breaks the rhythm of rain.

Read glaring at you from under your last message. It’s been like that for a while now. Every message read, but none answered. The silence is maddening, causing you anger, but no matter how much you want to do something, the compliance from your inner self never comes. Because in reality, Jisoo’s silence hurts as much as it angers. Why are you the only one trying to save a drowning ship? Why does she care so little about the pain her passiveness causes? Why is everything about it so unfair to you only?

RYUJIN

The suddenness of fingers hooking at the edge of your trousers. Their pulling has you turning around in confusion, stopping mid-sentence. Ryujin’s gaze is dark and meaningful. You’re worried she may not be feeling well, but observing her, you notice doubtful gazes she passes a person you were talking to. Nobody to be scared of, not when Ryujin’s herself. But even the warmest of stares you have reserved for her only aren’t enough to calm the storm brewing behind beautiful features.

A word idiot pressing itself at your lips. Of course, in the most lovable tone possible. Even if Ryujin’s “special” jokes are super unfunny and you’re cringing inside, you’re still enjoying them, or rather her own amusement. Does that make sense? Not really. But in the face of romance, logic is a rarity. Watching her as she laughs at herself, you’re reminded of a cold bath during a hot day – awakening, pleasant, somehow wrong, but also so right. Thanks to Ryujin, you can focus on things other than everyday struggles, even if the result has your face twisting in disgust.

Train jumps in its trails, shaking every passenger awake, including you. For a moment, you’re uncertain – what is this place you’re sitting in? A robotic voice announces next station. It’s an obscure name for a village, you don’t remember from the timetable. Have you missed your stop? Terrified, you attempt to sit up straight, but another head weighs you down. Ryujin is somehow still asleep, her cheek resting on your forehead, her hand carelessly abandoned on your lap. Even a loud conversation between two women sitting behind you doesn’t awaken her. And though your neck hurts, you stay in place so she can rest better.

A knock on a doorframe. A break in a train of thoughts. A look up from your phone at Ryujin’s awaiting silhouette. Her small pout is a picture of tiredness only your attention can cure, or at least so she thinks. Questions are answered with shakes of her head, a smile earns a smile in return. Before long, she climbs your lap and pushes you back to lie on bed. Like a pet missing their everyday companion, Ryujin sinks into your embrace. She’s a plush sensation to lean on and trust with your unconscious self. That is, if you manage to fall asleep with her weight crushing your lungs.

Either ignoring you, or staring with ridicule. Ryujin cannot decide on one, maybe because she’s just as conflicted when it comes to feelings. To detest, or to miss? She said the things were over, but how come you’re still in each other’s presence so often? It’s as if you were celestial bodies gravitating towards one another, unable to go alone, because all there is to your being is her. It may sound dramatic, but watching her back, with heart open and bleeding, you feel useless in your existence. You don’t know the now without Ryujin in it, and you don’t want to. So despite all the hurt, you still await her return to your side.

CHAERYEONG

A shy smile that causes you the feeling of warmth inside. A little embarrassed by your own body’s reaction, you try to laugh it off. But Chaeryeong doesn’t know what caused you so much fun. Her hands embrace you from behind, questions are fired as she tries to join your fun. Self-conscious smile looks like a blinking lightbulb. Avoiding her expectant stare, you play with the fingers locked on your abdomen, warmth now not only inside, but also outside.

An evening you spend lying on your back. There’s no motivation to get up and be productive. It’s funny. If anything, your heart’s understanding of productivity is watching Chaeryeong’s asleep profile. Hot air blows at a loose strand of hair, raising it into the air, only for the lock to fall back in its place. You could correct it, yes, but one of your hands is under Chaeryeong, while she weakly grips the other one. Pulling your limbs free would mean the possibility of waking her up. The result? Guilt, because you’d ruin a bubble-like moment that you should’ve taken the most out of. So you decide - the world can wait.

Cold autumnal wind blowing at your cheeks. Ice cold fingers warming themselves up in thin pockets to no use. Ache in your frozen toes, no amount of steps can melt. Finally, pharmacy’s door open. Chaeryeong’s return makes you shift attention to her winning smile. All the happiness because of a lip balm. She doesn’t waste time unpacking it to then spread gloss over her lips. You don’t know why you’re watching the interaction so closely, but it’s a distraction from the cold. She notices, giggles and – huh? – kisses you. To share the lip balm, apparently. Because it’s so cold, apparently. Because she cares about your well-being, clearly.

A snarky remark you can’t help, but laugh at. To others it may sound a little insulting, but you actually have to applaud her for a good one. Sarcastic, but funny – Chaeryeong’s unsure bite on a lower lip widens into a proud smile. She couldn’t help herself and you don’t mind. Still, maybe one day you’ll attack her the same way. Strike with sarcasm she’ll have to laugh at. In the end, all’s fair in love and war. Chaeryeong should see the revenge coming. Once you come up with a genius remark, that is.

Frustrating no’s she won’t stop using against you. As if they weren’t already driving you insane, she adds strong shakes of her head. There’s a no to every word, sigh, groan and wild gesture. Then there’s her posture – closed in on herself, making her appear smaller than she really is, so your resolve may weaken. In a way, it’s a gun pointing at you, forcing into compliance. Hidden behind a mask your knees may feel weak for, but a gun.

YUNA

Freezing in place when the world disappears from your sight. Warm palms cover your eyes, their touch comfortable and delicate. Their owner rests her head on your shoulder. She smells of freshness, best described by the (one would think) unexpected word home. You’re not scared. Surprised, but all fine. Yuna’s laughter joins yours when you take her palms into your own hands. Together, they slide down to rest on your sides.

A sudden look of bewilderment you’re given by friends when you laugh for no obvious reason. They’re not aware you haven’t been listening to them for the past few minutes, too taken by Yuna’s playful faces from across the table. You try to cover the laughter with a fake cough, but nobody’s fooled. They have so many questions to ask, meanwhile Yuna is acting oblivious to the entire scene, avoiding both your gaze and speaking up. Just she waits for the right moment, you’ll have your revenge.

How small she always attempts to be next to you. Doesn’t matter whether you stand higher, or lower than Yuna – she needs to be the one embraced, looked at, appreciated. If you’re not living thanks to her bright shine, who else could be your Sun? If your orbit doesn’t surround her, what’s the point of seeing one another? If gravitation doesn’t pull you towards her, how can she be sure you’re a planet made for her? Yuna needs to be both told and shown that she matters to you, and in case she notices the attention isn’t enough, she’ll be sure to remind you that she is the Sun to your Earth.

Her wild gestures as she attempts explaining her favorite things. Yuna’s arms flail in the air. At one point she’s pointing to her right, at another she has hands clasped on her left. Her eyes widen and close, to prove just how serious the case is. It’s amusing, but you don’t dare a laugh. Not when she’s so eager to share a part of her life with you. Not when she rolls her eyes at some silly thing that’s bothering her so much. Yuna’s hard work is adorable, but admitting aloud how heart-melting instead of heart-clutching she is would create a rift in the moment of happiness, so you let the little lie live.

The distance. As if terrified you may stab her, Yuna stays away. She won’t look you in the eye, answer a simple yes or no question, or even react to your words. As if you were a mare she shouldn’t look at. As if just a glance in your direction could hurt her. In your eyes, Yuna’s childish choice of action is despicable. So much that you don’t even attempt burying the hatchet. To every single act of avoidance, you respond with indifference. Every dejected sigh on her part meets a roll of your eyes. It’s an ongoing war that has no sense for it, other than destruction.

➛ pollenat’s list of headcanons

➛ pollenat’s list of shorts

➛ pollenat’s list of scenarios

[sir-phineas-lost]

Follow-up post

So I got a reply to my comment about the ableism in Ironwood’s character arc by @swapauanon and then they immediately blocked me. Since I am sometimes a petty bastard I decided to make a separate response anyway.

The first thing I would like to point out is that this person does not actually address my points in any way throughout this lengthy rant. My comment was all about the behind-the-scenes comments from the creators and they only responded with in-text examples and their interpretations of them. Those are important sure, and I will talk about those, but they don’t exactly come off as arguing in good-faith right from the get-go.

Okay, so I don’t TYPICALLY acknowledge RWDE’s beyond blocking them, but I think it’s important to separate how Ironwood views himself versus how the writers view him.

Because Ironwood’s entire downfall is his misunderstanding of how humanity works. He denies his own humanity, and sees maiming his vulnerable flesh and replacing it with unfeeling machinery as ridding himself of his own human weaknesses.

Except at the end of the day, he can’t cast off his VERY human soul, and his refusal to acknowledge that he can’t and SHOULDN’T do that are ultimately what leads to his downfall.

I have seen this “Actually it is just Ironwood himself that is ableist” argument before, and I don’t think it holds any water. While it is true that he begins to see compassion as a weakness, he never expresses the views you say he does about his own machine parts. And if you want to talk about how Ironwood sees himself vs how the writers see him you really can’t do so without talking about framing and subtext. When we get scenes that emphazize Ironwood’s machine parts to make him look intimidating or use his passive superpower (described as “hyper-focus” by the creators themselves) to shut off his empathy, that is the writers telling us that these physical aspects of Ironwood makes him less human.

Meanwhile, what V8C12 was TRYING to convey (even if it was horrible in its execution), was that it’s one’s SOUL that defines them, not the body that houses it. 

Literally NO OTHER CHARACTER with mechanical parts added to their body views themselves as less human.

[...]

Penny doesn’t angst over not being human, she angsts over being treated like a soulless tool. (Which is why I don’t like that they turned her human. Had they set up that she’d wanted to be human back in Volume 2, it would’ve been one thing, but they don’t establish that Penny wanted to be human until AFTER her mechanical body has been discarded.)

So here they outright contradict themselves. They start off saying that no other character views themselves this way, and then go on to say that Penny does (but only after she has been turned human). And like, points for admitting that scene was bad, but they seem unwilling to consider that maybe the fact that the writers did include that scene tells us something about the way the show at large views disability. They seem to think they can just write it off and move on like this instance of Penny absolutely seeing herself as inhuman can just be ignored. it also disregards that this isn’t just Penny expressing how she feels about herself. When Penny gets her human body she expresses surprise that hugging someone makes her feel “warm inside” even though she has hugged people countless times before. This is not a villain saying that having machine parts makes you less human and being proven wrong, this is a hero saying outright that “wow, my mechaniocal body made me unable to appreciate this simple human interaction, but now that I have a flesh-body I can”. Things like this is why I do not buy the argument that it is only Ironwood who thinks being part machine makes you less human.

Mercury doesn’t angst over the loss of his legs, he angsts over the piece of his soul his father tore out.

[...]

While Yang DOES lose her arm and angst over it, she doesn’t view herself as less human because of her prosthetic.

The closest we get to a LITERAL “cybernetics eats your soul” story is with Cinder, and she doesn’t have ANY cybernetics, just a parasitic leash that’s slowly consuming her flesh and threatens to eventually consume her mind if she doesn’t get rid of it. And if/when she does, I imagine she’ll replace that with a mechanical arm.

(I moved a few parts of their post around here because it made more sense to me to talk about these quotes together)

I feel like this highlights how much this person completely ignores the core argument of what makes the themes in RWBY ableist. They focus way too much on the literal and whether the characters “angst” over their humanity. But like I have said before, thie main issue here is theme and subtext.

Mercury doesn’t “angst” over his legs, but that doesn’t erase the subtext inherent in the fact that he still lost his legs (and presumanbly the piece of his soul) at the same time as he joins team evil.

Yang is probably the best take on a disabled person with a prosthetic in the show. I will give it that. I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong with how it has handled this storyline, but I do think it sets a certain expectation for how it thinks a “good” person should handle their disability. Because Yang basically deals with her lost arm by seeing her prosthetic as an “extra”. She creates a distance between herself and it instead of seeing her mechanical arm as actually part of herself. Again, nothing inherently wrong with that but combined with the Penny-nonsense it creates a pattern of seeing machine parts as inherently inhuman and “lesser”.

The point about Cinder is where the argument relies too much on technicality. Sure, Cinder’s new arm isn’t cybernetic, bhut it is still a prosthetic and it is unambiguously presented as evil and corrupting.

So, no, it’s not the fact that Ironwood has prosthetics that makes him less human, they’re simply a symptom of his view of “soft” traits (kindness, empathy, forgiveness, and flesh), as weaknesses to be sacrificed for the “greater good”. Basically, while I know this term gets misused a lot, Ironwood embodies toxic masculinity. The idea that showing any emotion other than rage and pride is “shameful” and “unmanly”. The idea that brute strength matters more than strategy. That taking unnecessary risks to achieve your goal is “brave” and “daring” and not “stupid beyond belief”. Plus, I want to point out that WINTER HERSELF said that Penny (as a robot) was more “human” than her. 

Again, this completely ignores how Ironwood and his prosthetics are framed by the narrative. The idea that all of his flaws are based in toxic masculinity and have nothing to do with his disability is just not very supported by the text or by word of God (again, it was the creators themselves who said that losing his arm was “symbolic of losing his humanity).

And Winter’s words to Penny aren’t very positive either. The point being made there is that Penny was always human “underneeth” her robotics, which sounds good until you realize that this still frames her mechanical differences as negative. They are treated as a prison for the “real” Penny and the narrative explicitly tells us that they have made her unable to feel certain emotions.

It’s just that searing off that flesh after breaking his own Aura serves as a good visual metaphor for Ironwood giving up his “softer” traits to accomplish his goals, even if there was a better solution staring him right in the face (i.e. the rings were EXPOSED and he could’ve just nudged them out of alignment to get to Watts).

This feels like a really big reach on their parts to justify their idea of Ironwood as stupid on top of everything else. It relies on assuming things about fictional technology that was never explained in the show itself. I mean, if the rings are so easy to nudge then what is even holding them in place?

Either way it doesn’t really matter because the message of the scene is the same. If the point is to signal that ironwood is willing to give up his softer traits because he is also willing to give up his soft bady, then that also tells the viewer that being able-bodied and being capable of compassion/kindness/etc are synonymous.

It has nothing to do with the metal, and everything to do with the “Mettle”. 

I have no idea why they would bring up the fantasy neurodivergence the writers added in through word-of-God as if it somehow makes the show less ableist. “Mettle” as it is described by the writers, is not a character flaw. It is a chronic condition.

Edit: Seriously, I hope you realize that the hatedom makes it VERY hard for any criticism of the show to be taken seriously when the very VALID cricisms are downed out by “Adam should’ve been an anti-hero!” and “Fascism is good, actually!” leading to those of us with ACTUAL constructive criticism getting lumped in with you lot!

I am curious what they think “constructive criticism” looks like since apparently “Hey, constantly equating robot parts with inhuman behavior is shitty and ableist, please stop” doesn’t cut it.

Anyways, fuck this guy. If they want to be taken seriously maybe they should think about why they had to make such a long-ass rant to dismiss criticism of very basic ableist tropes.

[taurus-official]

My partner was drawing fanart for a show they like. I overanalyzed it. They wanted me to share. This post is very long.

The show is called Bolts and Blip. It was made in 2010, and ran just one season into 2011. The initial premise I was told was that robots competed in sports on the moon to solve disputes that happened on earth.

Initially I thought this was an odd way for democracy to operate, but hey, I don’t make decisions for the government, so moon robot sports is how things were. 

This intrigued me for a few reasons, such as 

It takes place in a post-war era of “world peace”, in approximately 2080. Judging how things are going now, I find the concept of 2080 being after a world war very believable. 

There was seemingly one democracy on earth now, and that democracy decided unanimously to settle all further disputes via moon robot sports, as stated.

Humanity was technologically advanced enough at this point to not only create robots that could play sports, but they played these sports in a large city on the moon!

My initial question was this: Do we know who built the robots?

Yes of course, its common knowledge on the moon. Just two scientists are responsible for all the robotic life on the moon, creating a number of robots in the ballpark in the thousands. This is a lot of moon robots. 

There is a need for so much raw material to create even a thousand robots, enough for a civilization, NOT TO MENTION the massive city they all inhabit. Where they probably don’t get new shipments of materials on the reg, this would mean the scientists could continue making more until they ran out of resources.

However, besides these main robots, one of the scientists also created a race of at least 100 robot leprechauns living under the ground. Or, at least... One of the leprechauns. 

Then, allegedly, this one robot created more than a hundred more. I do not know when the first robot leprechaun was created, but I fear for the safety of the human race if there was any interplanetoid travel between the earth and the moon while they existed.

The resources sent to the moon for the purposes of making robots would be very finite. Thus, if these scientists created the robot leprechauns before they had used the resources up, the leprechauns could apparently self replicate using the materials on the moon. This is how there became more than a hundred of them. 

This may not be the case, but if a single one of the sublunarean self replicating leprechaun robots happened to board a spaceship that was heading for Earth... With a near infinite supply of resources, enough to spare on moon robot sports, the number of leprechaun robots would quickly grow. The earths infrastructure could be at risk. I’m talking sinkholes that are miles wide. Why?

Because the leprechauns were programmed and built for the moons gravity. The leprechauns create more of themselves on earth, as many as they are able to, but are still programmed for the moons gravitational density. The Earth is much heavier, and when the build their subterranean halls, they would not know that our planets density is more prone to collapse. Catastrophe.

But even that is purely conjecture, because Earth is never once seen in the show. Let me get back to what we know.

The leprechaun robots, as well as the main race of robots were all created by one man. Dr. Tommy, colloquially known as the ‘good’ scientist. The ‘bad’ scientist is called Dr. Blood, which is a kickass name 7 days a week. I will explain why there are ONLY two humans on the moon shortly.

The primary species of robots that Dr. Tommy makes participate in team based sports, interpersonal relationships, jokes, goofs, and gambits. The concept of Artificial Intelligence making jokes, playing sports, and creating bonds is not unheard of, or at least, it might not be in 2080. However, my next questions make me think these robots were not AI. My questions were:

Do the robots have the concept of death?

Do the robots ever say the word ‘heck’?

To both of these, the answer was a horrifying yes. 

Yes, it is confirmed, that robots on the moon say heck. The implications of this are astronomical. I will spell it out thoroughly because lockdown has given me endless time with which I can do as I please.

Heck is, of course, derived from the word hell. Hell is the counterpart to heaven, both terms used to signify the existence of an afterlife. Where there is the word heck, there are beings that believe in the afterlife. 

These robots have souls.

The circumstances in which these robots die, which they are entirely able to do because of their soul, is such: The Reformatter. To simplify, the Reformatter grinds the entirety of the robots body to scrap, which it then melts together to make household appliances. This is what happens to robots who are not ‘good enough’ in society. 

What the nightmarish fuck.

Not only do the souls of the robots face heaven and hell, they also face being reformatted to become the brave little toaster if they do not serve their society.

Their society which is made by one human

Let me emphasize this; they treat him like he is unto a god. How can they not? He created them, their world. He is their father, their everything. They even built a statue of him, holding an enormous double sided wrench which is clearly symbolic to remind them. 

Dr. Tommy gives life, and it can be taken away.

The method of which he gives life is a puzzlement to me. I am told that our dear Dr. Tommy refers to a robots as having a ‘Heart’. This Heart is described to me as a magical piece of leprechaun gold, so the robots are able to feel. 

The robot Heart is likely a simplification. The show is advertised as a Family show, and must cater to the understanding of all ages, including small children. Breaching the topic of souls, mortality, and the afterlife likely wasn’t something the writers or creator were able to do. My theory is, the Heart is a future technology that can instill a soul into a robotic body, 

Which, wow. Big, if true. At first I was boggling at the concept of manufactured souls being a technology that humanity could see in my lifetime, but then I remembered one of the three key pieces of knowledge I was initially given.

“It takes place in a post-war era of “world peace”"

....Throughout human history, one social class is legally subjected to inhumane treatment; Prisoners. Once you are in jail, internment camps, concentration camps, those that are keeping you there believe you have less rights as a person. Medical experimentation, slavery, abuse, forced sterilization, nothing is illegal. 

And after a war like the doozy Earth must’ve recently went through, there must be a lot of war criminals. Those that were so engulfed in carnage and bloodshed, there was no way for them to reenter society. The newly forming singular government, if they had access to the necessary technology, may have used it on these criminals.

Think about it. The dust settles from an all out world war. There cannot be peace without someone to shoulder the blame of the atrocities. There must be an evil, if there is to be peace. So, the individuals who excelled in war and killing became the reason there was war and killing. These people are now less than human for what they’ve done. They can be treated as such.

I think this is when their souls were taken. As each warrior passed, their spirit was caught and kept. And then, in a classic move from 1788-1868, they transported all the criminals to somewhere they would never harm humanity again. Somewhere out of the way, remote, and it was the moon. You knew where this was going, they sent all the souls to the moon.

Along with a large amount of other people! The two scientists certainly did not build an entire moon colony on their own, and at this point, the robots were not even in production yet. The moon colony was made, and then the scientists began their work.

Starting with the leprechauns, who I believe were not made from the souls of war criminals. The first one may have been another scientist, the one responsible for creating the ‘Hearts’ in the first place. This is why that one knows how to create more of itself. 

Then, the robots were made. There would have been a prototype, but let me focus on what the show covers for a bit.

The sports that these robots engage in is between two existing teams, complete with names, colors, and esprit d’corps. These games vary from episode to episode, some involving hang gliders, some with miniature fighter jets, some involve a battle with guns... that squirt water. The logic there is that if they are hit with the water, they rust and die. Which, okay. Right.

But a lot of the games and sports they play seem to be quite combat based. Furthermore, the robots seem to take to them naturally. 

Not to mention, there are bomb mice and big laser guns as well. These robots are armed. Why the hell are these robots armed? Who thought it was a good idea? After all, these robots are clearly capable of malice still. Why wouldn’t they simply turn violent against the humans?

I think they did. Here’s my theory of how it went down.

Dr. Tommy begins using the souls of war criminals in a prototype of robot

The robots can recall their life on earth as humans, but are now trapped in metal vessels because their bodies have been destroyed

The robots begin reacting to the existential nightmare of being soul trapped

Some despair and destroy themselves

Some are enraged and destroy humans

Most of them, actually

Most of them turn their wrath against humans

The people who inhabited the moon, who created the cities, were suddenly under attack by the most skilled killers around.

This is when Dr. Tommy hits the kill switch for these robots. They are recycled, and maybe he even collected the souls again but maybe Dr. Blood took those ones.

These happenings left only two humans left on the moon. Dr. Tommy began making a new version of robots, who’s souls could not remember their time on Earth. Perhaps, in taking away everything about their humanity, he gave them the most innocence of anyone. 

These robots now know that

Dr. Tommy is good, for he created them

They must contribute to the society Dr. Tommy has made for them

If they fail to do so, they will not only die, but go to hell

Dr. Tommy is the good scientist. He doesn’t want the robots to be used for evil, he doesn’t want them to hate each other. Not like that Dr. Blood, who encourages these robots who have no memory of who they were before and might be able to unlock those memories to become more warlike.

However, look at what Dr. Tommy makes them do. The robots are still using their combat knowledge, independently of their memories of war on Earth. Their knowledge is being honed and enhanced, while the repercussions of their actions are not something they are privvy to. But, Dr. Tommy is the good scientist. The robots know this, because he said so. 

Or because they will be obliterated and condemned if they go against his word.

It is also worth noting that the good doctor also usually lives remote from his creations, in a little space shuttle. 

In conclusion. I believe Dr. Tommy is knowingly creating an army of supercombatant robots, imbued with the souls of the most bloodthirsty war criminals, that will do his every will. He intentionally killed every human on the moon colony that he could. I fear what this will mean for the future Earth of this show. 

Final notes:

These robots, once their souls memory was wiped clean, would have no gender. Gender is a construct originally created to indicate what a persons sex characteristics were. Not only is that a spectrum on humans, but robots would not be given any such characteristics, nor would the concept of gender transfer over. All the characters seem to perscribe gender to themselves though, which was not something they were given at their ‘birth’. This makes none of them are cisgender, so every robot in the show is transgender. 

Further cementing my belief that Dr. Tommy made these robots for combat is that at LEAST the main characters have “super” modes, where they become even more powerful and capable of succeeding in combat. What’s the hyper-killing mode for, Dr. Tommy? What’s it for?

The humans that were killed on the moon are still somewhere, probably frozen? One joke alluded to the characters being able to purchase human body parts (a stomach) in the run of their average day. Its very possible that the human anatomy is being extensively studied by the robots. Whether this is for medical purposes, or to more accurately kill humans, or to satisfy their innate bloodlust, I do not know.

I am also told that at the end of the only season, a space ship that is also a school bus arrives on the moon! It is full of children. Which. Oh god oh no. 

I understand this turned into a grimdark internet theory of a cartoon. I also believe that, without the ability to think critically, we will never be able to come to rue understanding of our own nature. It is still a cartoon. My thoughts and words should be taken with a singular grain of salt, because I am a human who is often wrong. That being said, Andrew Knight, if you ever read this, let me know what you think. 

[viviane-lefay]

Really!? Sure that this would be his reaction!?

(still lol @ the choice of pic, though)

Hmm, I don’t think he’d be as averse to it as is implied here - or at all, actually.

Judging from what the canonical material provides, amongst others, he actually happens to have some quite fatherly traits, and even takes pleasure associating himself with that role, as you can see here:

That, apparently, is also the consensus amongst the fandom, given there are memes like this one:

Even in the movie, he refers to his drones as “my babies”.

In this, he strongly reminds me of two other characters associated with science, invention & technology - i.e. Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars), and Aulë the Smith (Tolkien) - who are known not only for their brilliance, bordering on genius, and their strong innate creativity, but also, if not especially, for their associations with fatherhood (Aulë is known as the “Father of the Dwarves”, and Anakin … I don’t think this even needs a mention, does it!?) - again, a distinctive feature of said creative urge.

This seems to be quite a bit of a phenomenon with characters of this type, especially. Therefore, one could say, that, in terms of this role, they indeed do have a natural inclination and aptitude - and, I’d say, it definitely applies also for Robotnik. He certainly displays this very strongly with his machines so far.

Now, in another post of mine, where I looked a little closer into the role that these machines play for him, I came to the conclusion that they, amongst others, act as a surrogate for his actual, yet suppressed needs and desires.

(Please excuse the lengthiness of this part, but I felt it was really relevant for my argument. I tried to keep it as short as possible, though.)

It is so painfully obvious that this guy has some massive issues, stemming from past emotional neglect and negative experiences - so much, that he even rejects all things human altogether, along with his own humanity. His excessive idealization of and identification with technology, therefore, comes quite in handy as a defense mechanism in order to cope with said experiences.

Machines don’t ask much of you, they do what they are told, they are predictable, and they - above all - can’t suddenly abandon, betray, humiliate, and hurt you (which, I think, is the crux of the matter here).

Even though he might claim that his robots are everything to him, and that he doesn’t need anything and anyone else - his actions, however, prove otherwise (let alone his constant spiteful remarks on the matter, which just sound so damn bitter). We can recognize that quite clearly when he is forced into involuntary seclusion on that mushroom planet at the end.

[…] Essentially, all those objects and machines are but a substitutive gratification that he tries to use, but that never come remotely close to the real deal, let alone are ever able to replace it. In the end, he’s still a human being, along with all the human needs that go along with it - human contact and care included.

I am by no means suggesting that they do not matter (they do, being his creations, after all), but rather that they most definitely would take a back seat to a potential (human) child of his - especially if it is born to the woman that he loves - and, therefore, also happens to contain a part of her (which would enhance its position even further).

—

Side Note: Frankly, I absolutely can’t see this happen with any other woman, let alone him becoming physically intimate at all. If any of these - whom he doesn’t care about (no matter how pretty) - tried to do that with him, I bet all she would get from him is a frown, and being coolly, but politely sent out of the room. He just doesn’t seem the type to bother about anyone “less than” - or casual sex, for that matter.

—

And I think it is indeed the connection with this woman that is the crucial part here, given I see her as the single most important person for him - the love of his life & his undisputed No. 1 priority!

(which shouldn’t be all that surprising, given I think he has a similar attachment style & behaviour to his grandfather, as I discussed here)

In the light of this, even this potential child of theirs would “only” get to occupy second place - a very close one, but still a No. 2. But it’s the Morticia to his Gomez we’re talking about, so it’s fine, I guess. ;)

Even so, it still bests the machines with ease, who, in this scenario would get place 3.

Lastly, I want to highlight this little snippet of a quote from a Jim Carrey interview, which encapsulates quite nicely what I was getting at:

“… and all it really comes down to is, he wants to be special to somebody.”  [x]

The keyword here is “somebody” - which machines are not, obviously. They’re rather something, an object, which isn’t capable of emotions, or bonds based on love - and to whom a person can never be special in that particular manner.

That is indeed something truly, uniquely human, and, as such, solely reserved for those.

And what bond is more absolute, more exclusive (because no one else can take the place), and, thus, more special than that between a husband and his wife, or - to come back to the subject of this post - a parent and a child!?

So, yeah, the above bits of info about him in mind (aside from my personal interpretation), I think he’d totally dig the thought of being a dad - especially within the context of who the mother is - and I also think he’s one of the characters with the natural propensity for being quite good at it at that (something, not every fave of mine can claim *cough*Ozai*cough*).

To come back to the screenshot at the very top, I’ll concede that he might be a little shocked at first (this coming as a “bit” of a surprise), and, yes, I also think he’d be somewhat concerned (as the OP said), but, I guess, that would be more about his doubts regarding whether or not he’d be able to be a good parent, his own personal history and upbringing in mind. A little self-awareness & -criticism can’t hurt (especially with him), even if he turns out to be wrong about this particular aspect - but, as I said, he’ll do fine. ;)

Ok, so much on that subject - ‘twas fun!

[ineffablelabpartners]

Forgive me, brother, for I have committed a fanfic.

Title: Reconciliations

Summary: During S3E1 (The Price of Power), Hordak makes amends with Entrapta after his outburst, and the two of them decide what to do about Catra. Some of Hordak's leadership choices are slightly called into question.

Warnings: Brief, humorous references to methods of execution?

“You know…there are more efficient ways to execute someone than banishing them to a hostile location.”

Saw. Tweezers. Pliers. Multimeter. Entrapta was in her room, mask down, working with every tool she could get her hair on at once. Her workbench was starting to wobble again, but this time she was pointedly ignoring it. The door opened behind her, and from the ominous shadow that fell across she didn’t have to look to see who it was. He had brought Imp with him.

“Ahem.”

“...” Entrapta’s soldering iron soldered on.

Imp chirruped.

“...After reviewing your research on First Ones tech in the Crimson Waste, I have decided that I am willing to discuss it further.” He was calmer now than she’d last seen him, with something different from his usual demeanor that she couldn't define. “I believe I have come up with a compromise to our disagreement.”

She shut off her tools, but didn’t reply. Imp chirped louder.

Hordak continued, strained. “I may have... overreacted to your request. You approached me at an — inopportune — moment.” He swallowed. “And I...”

Entrapta set down her gadgetry and lifted her mask. She turned to look at him, still not having finished his sentence.

“...had already written my speech for the assembly.” He was holding the datapad she’d left behind with the crinkled map of the Crimson Waste folded neatly on top. A lock of blue hair had escaped his slicked back style and fallen across his forehead. His armor twinkled in the glow of the soft purple lighting she’d recently installed. She bit her lip.

With a screech, Imp jumped off Hordak’s shoulder into Entrapta’s arms, thwapping him in the face with his tail as he did so. “Entrapta,” he said, softer than she’d ever heard that voice say her name before. She giggled.

“Imp, that is hardly dignified.” Hordak stared at the two of them, his eyes a little bigger, as Entrapta embraced Imp and kissed his cheek. His skin was peculiarly smoother than a human’s but still baby soft.

“Have a seat, Hordak.” She gestured toward her purple couch. “Let’s talk.”

“Emily!” Imp said, with Entrapta’s voice.

“She’s helping Scorpia with something before the mandatory assembly - I wasn’t planning on going!”

Using her hair, Entrapta retrieved two fizzy drinks with straws from her personal cooler. Fizzy rations were one of the changes she'd been able to implement to the Horde menu, though her old chefs had refused her offer to come work at the Fright Zone. (She'd even tracked them down with the Sanctum communicator and everything.) The Horde drinks were green without much flavor, but still: fizzy.

Hordak looked at the beverage she placed in his hand the way Scorpia looked at small buttons. He hesitated to sit down, as if he’d never touched anything soft before in his life. Had she ever seen him sit in a chair other than a throne? It was times like these that Entrapta felt better about her own social shortcomings.

“So.” She sat cross-legged next to the caped warlord, whose winged toddler leapt off her lap to perch himself at the highest point on the back of the couch. Hordak’s cybernetics were right there, close enough to touch, but she couldn’t let herself get distracted. First Ones tech (and Catra’s life?) was on the line. “What’s your solution to our tech problem?”

“Since the Crimson Waste has a reputation almost as foreboding as Beast Island...” Hordak handed his own bottle to Imp, who seemed to have a better idea of what to do with it. “I will allow you to send Catra there on a mission to retrieve First Ones tech.”

Entrapta smiled. “Thank you.” Her pigtail draped itself over the back of the couch, curling around Imp, inches from Hordak’s shoulder.

He didn’t smile back. “It must be alone, no other lives at risk,” he grunted. “If against all odds, Catra returns with what we need - she will be pardoned for proving her worth. If she does not return after an allotted period of time, she will be presumed dead and a failure. You will have to come up with a contingency plan should that happen.”

She took a sip from her fizzy drink. “Why do you think she won’t return?”

His ears wiggled, just slightly. “I lost a whole faction to that wasteland 20 years ago, including my most fearsome and competent warrior.” He bowed his head angstily, somewhat undercut by the soda sipping toddler next to it.

“Huntara. I have her file right here.” As difficult as it was to find anything in that archaic filing system. She hair-grabbed a stack of Horde folders from nearby, which Commander Cobalt had assisted her in locating. “However, I’ve noticed more than a few discrepancies between Shadow Weaver’s reports and my own research. Are you sure that her version of events can be trusted?”

“As long as the others believe what she told them, it will serve the purpose that I need.” He furrowed his brow and looked away from the photograph clipped to the inside of the folder. “But your skepticism is not unwarranted; Shadow Weaver did have something of a duplicitous side.”

Despite her difficulty with social signals, Entrapta had picked up on that fairly quickly. “Yet you kept her around for 25 years?”

“The sorceress proved her worth to me with the role she played ending the first Rebellion, but I let her ride off that goodwill for far too long. If Scorpia had shown any connection to the Black Garnet, I would have rid myself of that treacherous witch long ago.” He narrowed his eyes at the tall stack of manilla folders. “For her insistence on paper recordkeeping alone.”

It was almost a joke, but not. “So what are you going to do about her escape?”

“It is too late to do anything.” First Adora, now Shadow Weaver - apparently walking out of this place had less consequences than staying. “The only thing to be done is punish the person responsible, as a message to the others that such failures will not be tolerated.”

Entrapta took another sip. “By sending her away?”

“It is harsh, I know.” He gestured with his big metal arms, the ones she was forever yearning to go to town on with a hex-driver. “I am not a charismatic leader, Entrapta. I cannot inspire love and devotion the way others can. Fear and pragmatism are all I have.”

“And robots.”

“Yes.” His scowl fleetingly turned to a smile. “Had Catra been truthful to me, it would have allowed me to be lenient, as I have been with her before.” Hordak seemed to believe what he was saying, in that moment. He was easier to read than most people. “But I cannot abide both a failure and a liar. It would be repeating the same mistakes made with Shadow Weaver.”

“You know…” she said, after another sip. “There are more efficient ways to execute someone than banishing them to a hostile location.”

He blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Firing squad, lethal injection, hanging, electrocution, decapitation.” Entrapta mimed each of these with her hair. “A few more minutes in your atmospheric variable remover would have done it.”

He was making that face again, where his eyes were bigger than his little red mouth. “I thought you wanted me to spare Catra. Are you suggesting that I… cut off her head?”

“I’m just curious, why not? It would be easier. More cost effective. And I’m no social scientist, but I would think it might inspire more… fear?”

“No—” he scoffed, raising a finger. Was that a hint of red on his cheeks? She would have to log this. “—Beast Island is a fate worse than death. Those condemned there have only their own failures to blame for their… failures! It is a much MORE terrifying punishment than… than...”

“Heads on spikes? I’m not sure that’s coming across to your soldiers, though.” She downed the rest of her drink and pulled up the datapad. “78% of cadets over the age of 13 believe Beast Island is a fabrication told to keep them in line.”

“...where did you get that number?”

“Commander Cobalt gave me the statistics from his semi-annual survey.” The Horde school teacher asked a lot of good questions. “He said Shadow Weaver refused to take any of it into account for the cadet curriculum.”

“Beast Island is real,” he growled. His hand grazed her hair as he pushed the datapad away. “I have been there. I will say nothing more.” He folded his technologically advanced arms and looked away.

Entrapta had seen that file as well. The record of the only Horde expedition to Beast Island wasn’t very detailed, but it mentioned Huntara as one of the soldiers who had accompanied Hordak there. She was given the highest of accolades for her service there, only to perish on a mission to the Crimson Waste two weeks later, along with ten other soldiers. Cobalt had some soft science theories about the psychological effects of the trip, but that was far out of Entrapta’s field of expertise.

She inched closer to him. “But we’re sending Catra to the Crimson Waste.”

“We are,” he sighed, giving her a wry smile. “Though I do not expect her to return.”

“I disagree.” She strummed her fingers on the datapad. “My research gives her a good chance of survival.”

“Yes, she may survive. She is more capable than most...” He tilted his head, squinting. “But it doesn’t mean she’ll be back.”

This stung in a way she wasn’t prepared for. “You mean — you think— she’ll abandon us?” Entrapta flipped down her mask. Imp squeaked and bopped Hordak on the head with his tail.

“It is what I suspect others have done.” His ears drooped. “That is why I didn’t want to send her there in the first place. It would be a waste of resources to hunt defectors down in a deadly wasteland!”

Her breath fogged up the inside of the mask. “But then we won’t get the First Ones tech!”

“Entrapta...” he said softly, holding up his hands. “I had rather thought saving your friend from a fate worse than death would be your top priority. I thought that is why you were upset with me.”

“...” A more charitable reading than most people would have given her, but not wrong. She flipped up her mask. “It was. But I wanted the tech too.”

His ears didn’t know which direction to go. “Is there something else you would have me do?”

She thought it over. It was touching that he was willing to let an untrustworthy prisoner go for her, though not entirely surprising given past trends. “No. Catra will come back, if you give her the chance. She’s my friend.”

Hordak pursed his lips skeptically, then nodded. “I will give her the chance, but I will not be kind about it.” He stood, adjusting his cape, then looked at her with a tiny smile. “Will you come back to the lab with me?”

“Yes.” She grinned back. “But first you have to go to your assembly.”

He looked at the time, scowling, and smoothed back his hair. “Let’s get it over with then.”

“Heads on spikes?” Imp said, with a belch.

“No.” Hordak pointed a talon, then offered his arm. As Imp jumped on him, the fizzy drink slipped from his tiny hands. Entrapta’s hair caught it before it could spill all over his cybernetics (somewhere in an alternate universe, the war came to a swift end.)

When they got to the door, Hordak suddenly stopped, turned, and held out his other (Impless) arm to her. Entrapta was halfway to cracking it open to analyze his circuitry before she realized he was offering to… escort her? He seemed just as surprised about it as she was. His ears drooped again, with a hint of pink across his cheeks.

Beaming, she wrapped her hair around his armored forearm, mentally noting every bit of feedback.

“I still need to choose a new second-in-command,” he said stiffly, as they entered the hall.

“Ooh, how about Commander Cobalt? He’s served you faithfully for 25 years and has a degree in military science.”

“I was thinking of Force Captain Scorpia. Someone who would never betray me...”

* * *

Notes:

Presumably, Emily was helping Scorpia hide the body of the prison guard she threw into the abyss (with no consequences.)

Commander Cobalt is the blue fuzzy guy who trains the Horde cadets and also the secret mastermind behind everything.

I'm surely headcanoning against authorial intent with Hordak acknowledging Catra has a chance of surviving the Crimson Waste, but I feel like this whole storyline was a bit of a mess in canon ... so here's me trying to clean it up.

[kinnoth]

AVENGERS INFINITY WAR MEGATHREAD

-really doubt i'm gonna be able to finish this movie so we'll just see where i get to

- we already know how i feel about loki and thor, we don't need to revisit this

- ok but if i were going to revisit this, i mean come on, who wants to talk about "hela draws her power from asgard, same as you" cos i wanna talk about that

like what if that's the reason thor, god of thunder, king to a civilisation of warriors, was unable to fend off like, 4 dudes and a big purple dinosaur? the royal family of asgard draws its power from asgard, and without it, they are weak, they are mortal. maybe that's why heimdall is unable to just, you know, bifrost everybody off the fucking ship the minute it comes under attack. maybe that's why loki can't fucking conjure up a swarm of fucking microscopic knives to fillet the invaders from the inside out. MAYBE THAT'S WHY LOKI TRIES TO KILL THANOS WITH A FUCKING DAGGER. BECAUSE TAKE AWAY HIS POWER, TAKE AWAY HIS GODHOOD, WHAT DOES HE HAVE LEFT OTHER THAN HIS WILE, HIS TRICKS AND HIS BROTHER

WHAT IF IN SAVING THE UNIVERSE AND DESTROYING ASGARD, THEY'VE LOST EVERYTHING INCLUDING WHAT MAKES THEM GODS

somebody talk about this

- etc etc what if the reason loki is unable to attack the purple dinosaur with magic is because when he tackled thor earlier, he used whatever magic he had left to spare in order to heal him

checks out cos thor goes from flat on his face to swinging his fists in the space of like 30 seconds and the only thing to happen to him in between is said bit about loki tackling him

- why does heimdall save hulk? i mean, i could understand it if he were trying to aim the bifrost at thor and somebody somehow knocked off his aim and he accidentally saves hulk, but like, we've established that heimdall's loyalty is to the royal seat of asgard upon whom sits thor's mighty ass. thor who, in this scene, has just been incapacitated by a metal eggshell(?) and is at the mercy of their assailants. given heimdall's priorities, it is baffling to the point of inconceivability that he would preferentially save fucking HULK over his own king.

- if this next scene isn't the guardians of the galaxy coming across thor clutching loki's dead fucking body floating through space then i don't know why any of us are even here

- "he sent loki! the attack on new york was thanos!" makes no sense? like, if loki's scepter had the mind stone in it, which we established it did in the last movie when we broke it open to retrieve vision, then.....why didn't thanos just....take the mind stone in the first place? cos rock collecting is and has always been his goal?

what, do you think that just because you assert a thing makes us forget all the shit that happened before?

- i.....am actually with tony stark. why don't they just destroy the stones they have so that thanos can't get to them? oh, you made a promise? well promises change and circumstances change! you tell him tony! you tell that stupid fucker --

oh my god i'm gonna be ill

- i think the only person whose ego can match tony stark's is probably a neurosurgeon so 👍 i guess

-i love how we immediately went back to the "so dark can't see shit" aesthetic after ragnorak because ensuring that one's audience can SEE what is HAPPENING IN YOUR MOVIE is apparently for radical directors like taika waititi

- cannot believe that tony stark staring at captain america's phone number is being played with the same emotional intensity as thor losing his soulmate entire people

- honestly how many times is the mcu gonna invoke 9/11 imagery til someone calls them out for being terrorists

- lmao i know i said this before but peter's spidey senses tingling AFTER the giant alien anus has already started sucking up new york and it is right outside his window is fucking hilarious. that's just called using your eyeballs peter

- "friday notify first responders about the giant alien anus sucking up new york" lol like the first thing somebody did when the alien anus showed up wasn't to fucking call 911 GREAT IDEA TONY

- still can't believe that they let failed neurosurgeon dr strange do more magic than god of tricks and sorcery loki lol

- i know i rag on dr strange a lot about the fact that he's a neurosurgeon it's just that he sucks.

as a neurosurgeon eyy.

- i hate that peter parker has to be here!!!!! leave him alone!!!!!

- tony stark should not be allowed within 100 feet of children or minorities

- it is very weird to me that steve "brooklyn" rogers has an area code from georgia

- since when was hela a half-sister? ODIN'S DAUGHTER AND THOR'S BLOODED SIBLINGS OR BUST YOU FUCKING COWARDS

- i am very disappointed that thor is going to go get another weapon after we spent the whole last movie talking about how he is not the god of hammers

- i just need thor to have much more PTSD than he has right now. fucking hulk has ptsd. maybe they're saving the ptsd for later. one can only hope.

- i am glad that they are letting him be cleverer though

- THEY ARE LETTING VISION DATE A TEENAGER WHY

GOD. FUCKING GROSS.

- wait when did vision turn into a white man again? did i miss that movie?

- i am disappointed that vision the computer techno robot apparently has a penis. like what a stupid limitation to give your computer techno robot, gender. 🙄

- i think that the mass destruction of infrastructure and architecture in the MCU is because of the pg13 no blood limitation that disney has set? like there's no way to show destruction to the body, so one may only show the exponential destruction to one's surroundings. like imagine how much more dramatic intensity you could wring out of a regular fight scene would be if people were allowed to bleed?

- cannot believe that a computer techno robot and a witch are having a punch up with the bad guys. of all people to fight with something not their fists, it's these two

- wanda has no enhanced strength or durability? she's a regular teenager who's a bit witchy. the first time she got thrown through a glass door should have shattered her vertebrae. again i don't understand why we insist that everybody must have the same powers and capabilities when it's clear they don't. think about how much more interesting it would be if some avengers were more fragile than others and had to be given accommodations as such

- IT IS INCONCEIVABLE TO ME THAT FUCKING BLACK WIDOW (regular human), CAPTAIN AMERICA (enhanced human), AND FALCON (regular human with wings) CAN DEFEAT THE CHILDREN OF THANOS WHEN THOR COULDN'T UNLESS THOR (god of fucking thunder carved of steel and stone) WAS NERFED

- still don't understand how we'll lend aliens afro features but not afro hair, like, seriously? you're gonna dream up green aliens with gills who look like black people but imagining them with black hair is a step too far?

- the gap of commentary in this liveblog is simply because i do not care at all for the galaxy defenders

- "earth just lost her best defender" who? who does captain america consider earth's best defender? it's not thor; he doesn't know thor's presumed dead. it's not tony; he doesn't know tony's on an alien anus. who else has died so far?

- love how exhausted bucky looks. have always loved how exhausted bucky looks. love bucky.

- i forgot that tony was with peter parker. god i hate that.

- "i'm peter btw"

"dr strange"

"oh you're using the made up names then. i'm spider man"

ok that was cute, but peter's cute, we knew that already

- i want to fling both strange and stark into space and i'm having a hard time deciding which one to push first

- "you went to bed hungry, scraping for scraps" oohhhh thanos is just anti-poor people, he would literally rather poor people be dead than struggle, i get it nowww

this is on brand for mcu

- oh my god thanos gets 2/6 stones by torturing siblings in front of other siblings, seriously? you couldn't come up with 6 different ways to find his stupid rocks you had to reuse one twice?

- which one of thor's friends was stabbed through the heart....? fandral??

- "if i don't get my vengeance what more could i lose" more like what else is there eh? what else is there for a king of no people but their vengeance?

- CANNOT BELIEVE THEY GAVE HIM BACK AN EYEBALL JESUS CHRIST IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE THOR RAGNORAK JUST SAY SO YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO FUCKING

VEHICLE FOR AUTHORITARIANISM, NOTHING IS ALLOWED TO CHANGE, FUCK YOUR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I GOT MINE

FUCK

- i do enjoy that thor is now science fiction rather than fantasy, i don't think anybody knew what to do with fantasy cos fantasy is again, ultimately about conservatism and the status quo. so i do like that we're embracing the new and boundless for whatever that's worth.

- marvel is a cesspool of toxic masculinity. at no point are characters allowed to actually feel anything because weakness is uncool i guess and therefore unmanful. like thor lost ALL OF HIS PEOPLE. fucking ALL of them. he watched his brother die in order to save him. he is not allowed a single fucking response of mourning. i don't care if he's pushing it back because revenge or whatever, this is the sort of grief that rules you, which will bring all your load bearing structures down to heel, and they let him do nothing; he does not even rage. perfect control. smooth witticisms. why. why aren't we allowed to see his sadness?

- yo i can't believe red skull is a scifi villain now lol space nazis for real

- OH MY GOD THEY WASHED BUCKY'S WIG AND IT LOOKS SO BAD

- michael b jordan was right btw wakanda is complicit in africa's exploitation

- i do LIKE black panther i guess in the way you technically like that cousin you met once when you were like 9 and never saw again?

i like how we have here in wakanda the sears tower (chicago), the batman building (nashville), and the gherkin (london)

- ok but like, presumably not a death cult super technologically advanced wakandans who are deffo made of human flesh and human blood still arm their people with spears

i mean unless wakanda is also a death cult

why is this chicks entire fucking face cgi'd she looks like a fucking cut scene video game character

- oh ok they have LASER spears, ok

so then why did they give bucky a fucking gun

- what is bucky supposed to be able to contribute here exactly, like fucking, again, he's spycraft isn't he? he's a one man, dead of night, operation go loud and then immediately silent kinda operation. why do they have him on the front lines of a fucking lock-step formation battle??

- "it will be the noblest ending in history" WHAT, FIRST COUNTRY TO EVER BE OVERUN BY ALIEN JACKALS??

- stormbreaker is just leviathan axe, somebody's said this already right

- omfg i'm so glad they're finally acknowledging that thor is OP as fuck and does not belong amongst the fucking squabbles of earth

-"titan was like most planets, too many mouths to feed not enough to go around, so i proposed a plan, dispassionate to rich and poor alike" JUST SAY YOU HATE POOR PEOPLE MCU. YOU CANNOT HAVE RICH AND POOR, YOU CANNOT HAVE DISPARITY, YOU CANNOT HAVE SOME WITH TOO MUCH AND OTHERS WITH NOT ENOUGH AND CALL IT EXTINCTION. THAT IS NOT A QUESTION OF OVERTAXED RESOURCES THAT IS A QUESTION OF RESOURCE FUCKING MANAGEMENT. IT IS AN ARTIFICIAL CRISIS IF THERE EXISTS ENOUGH TO GO AROUND BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST HOARDING IT THAT'S WHEN YOU KILL THOSE PEOPLE AND TAKE THEIR SHARE. KILLING HALF THE PEOPLE IS THE KIND OF FUCKING SOLUTION TO INEQUALITY THAT RICH PEOPLE COME UP WITH

GOD. ITS LIKE NONE OF YOU EVER READ

-you've got the big fucking boss in an ambush AND YOU ATTACK HIM WITH A MAGIC SWORD STEVEN STRANGE?????

THIS FRANCHISE HAS NO IDEA HOW TO UTILISE MAGIC USERS FUCKING HELL

- when will somebody please utilise ironman like the one man artillery he fucking is WHY IS HE FIGHTING WITH HIS STUPID FISTS HE IS LITERALLY ONE CONTINUOUS CARPET BOMB JUST USE HIM THAT WAY

cut of his arm CUT OFF HIS ARM YOU BLOODLESS SPINELESS USELESS FUCKING CUNTS . this is a manufactured crisis, KIND OF LIKE THE ONES THANOS LIKES I GUESS LOL

- dr strange could have very easily prevented or stopped quill from punching thanos but he didn't cos i guess even the movie forgets steven strange exists sometimes

- i like that the shield around wakanda has the same weakness as a poorly constructed chicken coop -- you always build into the ground a couple feet to stop the diggers man, come on, what is this, your first energy shield?

- oh disgusting, a girl boss moment. whatever you're all fascists.

- nobody adores martial might like fascists do fucking change my mind

- " avengers: not one person in this fucking cast is able to stomach ANY AMOUNT of personal sacrifice" more like

- "why did you give away the time stone?" "we are in the endgame" THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER THAT'S A FUCKING MOVIE TEASER FUCK YOU

- why didn't strange just trap thanos in a timeloop again? we've already established that is a perfectly acceptable way to deal with planetary annihilation. IS IT POSSIBLY BECAUSE NOBODY ON THIS WRITING STAFF KNOWS HOW TO DEAL WITH MAGIC

- THOR OP BLIZZARD PLS NERF

-CAPTAIN MARVEL SERIOUSLY THAT'S WHO YOU'RE GONNA SEND YOUR LAST PAGE TO JESUS FUCKING DISGUSTING

[that-banana-headed-bovine]

Knight Rider 2000

WARNING

This post contains spoilers for Knight Rider 2000, the 1991 film which attempts to expand on the canonical universe of Knight Rider (1982-1986).  Key word, attempts.  I know that this film came out almost 30 years ago at this point, but I also know that this fandom grows a little bit every day, and there will ALWAYS be people who haven’t seen every episode (myself included), let alone every movie!  I happened to catch it on Charge! for Hoff's birthday (yes I'm hella late posting this LOL) with my good friend @trust-doesnt-oxidize​, and boy let me tell you, it was… Something.

From here on out, I’m not holding back from sharing my impression of the film based on specific details from it, so if you want a spoiler-free viewing, go watch it and come back!!  Or… don’t, it’s kind of awful.  I can only think of one thing in canon that it may spoil, and even that appears in early Season 2 and is fairly minor, so if you are curious about it, I HIGHLY recommend watching it BEFORE reading this.  The scenes with the most impact are touching because they come as a surprise, so even if you know the general plot of the film, I would recommend watching it first.

Also this is really rambley because I have a lot of emotions about this series and, by extension, this movie.  I really don’t blame you if you click away here, but if you DO read it all the way through, I would love to hear anything you would like to add, agree or disagree!

OKAY!  Knight Rider 2000 is a movie that exists!  And I hate it!

The film sets up an interesting argument between two groups of people whose names I don’t remember because they were boring (except for Devon, I know his name at this point).  In this interpretation of the “future,” gun control has been implemented to,,, some extent, I can’t entirely tell if there have been some policies implemented across the country or if it is all localized in this one city that even the Wikipedia page for this movie doesn’t bother to mention.  And no, this city is NOT in California for once!  Usually I would be happy to see a change of setting, but considering that everything in this film felt so foreign to the Knight Rider that we know, it would have been nice to at least have a familiar setting.  Anyway, gun control stuff.  The debate between whether these gun control policies are ethical or not is very interesting.  Innocent people are dying because the wrong people have guns and the police are rendered useless when they themselves don’t have access to weapons.  This argument happens to support my perspective on the issue, so I appreciated how it took a look at that side WITHOUT it sounding like we are crazy murderer people, but I digress.  It makes sense that the ban happened in the first place, because much like how the main conflict in Pixar’s latest film Incredibles 2 revolves around society’s over-reliance on superheroes, I could see Knight Rider’s society becoming dependent on technology to save them.  It can be easy to seem like the most advanced tech in that society is present only in KITT and KIFT, and to SOME extent that is true.  However, Shawn does say that it is relatively common in this society for people to have memory chips in their brain.  That counts for something.  And the police DO have a defense mechanism according to the Wikipedia page for this movie, it’s just nonlethal.

So as you can see, I am very interested in the conflict this world sets up.  I sure hope they expand on these conflicting ideologies throughout the film, giving us a clearer idea of why the bans were set in place AND giving us insight into what exactly has caused some revolt against it.  That subject is seemingly timeless, and with how decently the introduction tackled it, I have some confidence that this film could pull it off in a tasteful way.  Wouldn’t that be amazing?   It’s some of the most serious subject matter Knight Rider has ever tackled.  It’s so interesting!

Yeah they pretty much abandon that plot in place of a very, very bad copy of the original show’s “Hearts of Stone” (season 1, episode 14).  Illegal guns exist and are bad, but we don’t really know why.  I may know a little better if I had been listening closer, but I was trying to not get so bored that I missed Kitt’s parts!

At some point during this sequence, we are introduced to Shawn, a happy police officer who is happy to have a family on a happy birthday.  And then she gets shot!  Due to head force trauma rendering her unconscious, she’s sent to the hospital.  She goes in for a risky operation that miraculously saves her life against all odds.

Then, Michael wakes up with Garthe Knight’s face and hears a great story about how one man CAN make a difference!… I mean what?  

Jokes aside, it’s kind of amazing how much this very Michael-esque sequence comes across very differently.  It’s almost the perfect example of why I don’t like this movie.  The surgery is weirdly realistic for a Knight Rider entity.  There’s blood and screens and surgeons and a sterile white room for operations.  Michael woke up in a Medieval castle with one doctor and two random people he’d never met at his side.  Shawn’s situation clearly makes more sense, but is it half as fun and whimsical?  No, no it’s not.  This whole film comes across as depressing to me, and it’s only worsened by what’s to come.  Apparently, she had KITT’s CPU/Microprocessor/something sciencey implanted into her brain.  That’s especially strange since all that I saw was a yellow liquid being injected directly into her skull!  That’s a lovely image, and definitely gave me the idea that there was a full computer chip going in there???  (It may have actually been explained more clearly, and I just looked away because eek weirdly bloody operation scene)  This caused her personality to do a full 180.  So, Shawn is going to be fun, snarky, and full of personality like KITT is because they share memories now!  Right?  Right???

I think they tried to do that, but it came across flat.  So flat.  She speaks in a purposefully monotone, robotic voice and delivers downright mean comments that leave Michael and KITT scratching their heads.  She seems to lack basic empathy until her own memories start flooding back, and at that point, the emotions she show seem so foreign to the character we see that it’s not remotely believable.  You want me to believe that this robotic woman with -10 personality points started nearly crying after one string of memories, albeit a very traumatic one, entered her mind?  This would have been believable if she was entirely changed afterwards, coming across as far more human, but that was only the case sometimes.  It also would have been believable if the film had the same energy that the original Knight Rider show does, where suspending one’s disbelief is necessary to make it past the opening credits.  However, this movie tries to be so grounded that the kind of dramatic beats that would work in the original seem forced here.

Shawn is not the only character who I take issue with, though.  Let’s start with the most potentially problematic change from the usual canon in the entire film: KITT’s personality.  I have very mixed feelings on how he is portrayed.  If you’ve seen as much as a spattering of quotes from this movie, you probably could sense that KITT was… off.  When KITT first comes on screen, he slams Michael with a wave of insults, and none of them come off as their normal joking around.  However, I don’t necessarily have a problem with that because he has the proper motivation to be very, very upset.  He is sitting on a desk as a heap of loosely connected parts that have just enough power to make the signature red scanner whir and make an oddly terrifying red light eyeball thing (Hal???) move.  The first thing he hears is Devon nonchalantly saying something along the lines of, “I’m afraid he was recycled” to explain why KITT has been deactivated for OVER A DECADE and is not currently in anything that moves (my Charge! stream thing lagged at this point but @trust-doesnt-oxidize​ has since told me that Devon DID appear upset about KITT's being sold, but KITT likely wouldn't have heard that and what Devon said seemed to be moreso directed at HOW the chip was sold and not the fact that it was sold in the first place).  KITT is justifiably mad, and if they had kept KITT’s actions in character while his emotions said otherwise, I would have no problem with it at all.

However, once KITT’s CPU is somehow implanted into Michael’s Chevrolet, KITT does not act in character.  Shawn drives, not Michael, so it stands to reason that he would not necessarily listen to her.  She stole his CPU, his life for over a decade.  KITT does tend to listen to human companions, regardless of whether he is programmed to or not, but I can see where this would be an exception.  However, Michael soon intercedes and essentially tells him to cut it out.  Based on everything that the original Knight Rider told us, KITT no longer has a choice of whether to listen or not.  Michael is ultimately the one who calls the shots because of KITT’s very programming.  And yet, in this scene, KITT doesn’t listen to Michael and apparently gets so angry that he downright stops functioning.  Because that happens all the time in the original series!

And if you’re wondering where I got the conclusion that KITT frustrated his circuits to the point where they could no longer work, he said that.  KITT.  Admitted to having feelings.  In fact, he did not just admit to being angry in the moment.  He told Michael that, while it may seem like he is an emotionless robot, he does have a “feelings chip.”  A FEELINGS CHIP-

I am for recognizing KITT’s obvious emotions as much as the next guy.  I think they are often overlooked when discussing his character.  While I don’t think that real artificial intelligence will ever reach the level of human consciousness, the entire energy of Knight Rider comes from playing with this concept by portraying an AI character who clearly emotes interacting with a human who doesn’t seem to know that.  But the thing that makes this show feel so sincere is that neither character plays too heavily into that trope.  While not always knowing how much KITT feels and by extension hurting those feelings alarmingly often, Michael recognizes it enough to work in concert with KITT, apologize for his more major flubs, and consider KITT a friend.  And KITT subverts the trope by never recognizing that he has feelings to begin with.  He will say that he cannot feel sadness but, in the next breath, say that something upset him.  He will say he cannot hold a grudge only to immediately rattle off a string of insults directed at the person he clearly has a grudge on.  The show is magic in how these two characters display a subtle chemistry that always has room to grow because both characters are slowly coming to see each other for who they truly are and supporting one another along the way.  From what I can tell, the original show never fully concludes that arc, and it may even start regressing after Season 1.  However, we can feasibly see how Michael could slowly come to understand that KITT really does feel things just as much as he does.  And we can imagine the relief KITT would feel knowing that Michael was never bothered by that possibility.

So, you can see where I have a big problem with KITT spelling it out so plainly.  The audience gets full confirmation about what has been displayed to us through nuanced hints throughout the series, which sounds a lot more satisfying than it really ends up being in this film.  But worse than an underwhelming conclusion to a thrilling story, Michael knows it plain as day.  There is very little buildup to KITT admitting this.  He barely even sounds moved.  Instead, in this movie, the “feelings chip” is a fact of life that does not need to be covered up in the slightest.  Michael himself doesn’t really… react.  He just kind of nods along, as if he’s saying, “Huh, makes sense, alright.”  After everything these two have been through, if there really was such a simple explanation for why KITT is the way he is… why arguments went south, why the mere mention of a Chevrolet was enough to get a seemingly jealous response, why inconsequential things like music taste and gambling were subjects of debate, why KITT had always acted so exaggeratedly dismissive when topics of emotional significance struck a chord, why every little sarcastic banter had a hint of happiness until it didn’t… don’t you think Michael would do something?  Whether that something would be a gentle, “I always knew that, pal”; a shocked, “Why didn’tchya tell me sooner?!”; or even a sarcastic, disbelieving, “Yeah, right” is up to interpretation.  But there would be something.

And yet, even that concept is flawed.  We learn a lot from KARR’s inclusion in the original series, and what I take away from it boils down to a simple sentiment.  FLAG never meant for their AIs to be human.  I do realize that directly contradicts what Devon says within this film, but I see that as another way for the film to steer the plot in this direction, not as a tie in to the original.  When Wilton says that one man CAN make a difference, he means that.  He isn’t considering that KITT is just as much a person as Michael.  He’s not seeing that, at the end of the day, teamwork is what makes the show work, even if Michael is the glue that holds it together.  So, I think that to say that there is a “feelings chip” is to disregard the entire point of the original, that in this world life finds a way of inserting itself and that KITT’s (and KARR’s for that matter) humanity is an anomaly, not the rule.  At the end of the day, KITT’s humanity can’t be explained away with science.  And really, I don’t think it should be explained away at all.  The show has had an amazing trend of showing us how KITT feels, in all its unorthodox glory, alongside private moments that had me sobbing like a baby.  The movie should just be like a longer, more complex episode of Knight Rider… Although I cannot pinpoint exactly how it should be done in the context of this film, I know there are ways that Michael could have been shown that KITT feels rather than being told.

One last complaint, albeit a more minor one, is the idea that he has to listen to what Shawn says over Michael's authority.  I have spent a decent amount of time thinking about this one point, which has caused a lot of the delay in posting this.  There's multiple reasons why this flies right in the face of what is canon in the original series.  Perhaps the most obvious of these problems is the fact that, in the original pilot episode, it's made very clear that KITT can't assume control of the Knight 2000 without Michael's express permission unless Michael is unconcious.  Devon makes it quite clear in this episode that KITT is programmed specifically to listen to Michael, not just anyone who happens to be piloting the vehicle at the time.  In case there was any doubt about this, KITT ejects two people who are attempting to steal him later in the episode (well, ok, later in the two-parter, I don't know if it was the same episode or not).  The show isn't SUPER strict about this in future episodes, but it does at least acknowledge Michael's authority in a few pivotal moments throughout Season 1 (I can't comment on episodes that I haven't seen yet, but I suspect that this pattern continues).  Of all the rules set up throughout the series, it actually seems to be the most loyal to this one.  One moment that stands out to me is in Trust Doesn't Rust when KITT attempts to stop Michael from causing a head-on collision with KARR, but Michael then overrides him and the climax unfolds.  If one of the most iconic moments in the series is caused by this one bit of programming, to throw it out in the film is to disrespect the basis of the original series.

Speaking of KARR, he provides yet another reason niglecting this detail is such a big problem.  From what we can tell, KARR isn't programmed to one specific driver (at least, not anymore[?]), and so he can override anyone in the pilot's seat.  This is something they seem to highlight in TDR as well, although not so plainly as the previous point.  KARR ends up ditching Tony to gain speed and get an upper hand in the chase with Michael and KITT (although a scene they deleted would have made this a mUCH MORE SENSIBLE ACTION THAT R E A L L Y ISN'T A BETRAYAL but y'know what this post isn't about that) whereas KITT has to listen to Michael even to his own detriment.  If this one feature is indeed one of the major things that separates KITT from KARR, the idea that Shawn can override all of that cheapens the original conflict between KITT and KARR.

...Well okay, let's be real, KARR was never that compelling as an antagonist to begin with because he's a LOYAL SWEETIEPIE-- I'll stop.

And finally, we have the biggest, most bizarre reason that this is a problem:

If Shawn can override Michael's authority, that means KITT can override Michael's authority.

Why?  This would be the first time (outside of episodes where some sort of reprogramming or mind control was involved) in the series that KITT had not only listened to another human instead of Michael, but also listened to that person OVER Michael.  The only difference I can see between Shawn and quite literally anyone else in the show's history is that Shawn has KITT's chip implant thing.  If that's the reason her opinion has more credence than Michael's, then wouldn't that mean KITT's own opinion has that authority?  If that is the case, literally every example I've gone through in the last couple of paragraphs is not just challenged but rather negated entirely.

The most frustrating thing about this scene is that it simply didn't have to happen.  Michael could have gone along with KITT's plan, showing him (and us) that he does trust his former partner even after all these years.  Shawn could have convinced Michael to go along with it using her... feelings chip.  Blegh.  Or we could have had a stubborn Michael force this scene to be delayed, likely improving the pacing overall.  Maybe we could have even seen a frustrated and emotionally exhausted Shawn wait until Michael is not in the car and then plead KITT to give her the truth, no matter what Michael says.  We have seen KITT control his actions without Michael's input plenty of times, and we could have seen some more of his humanity show through if he could relate to Shawn's struggles... after all, he too has missing memories because she has his chip.  They're both going through a bit of an identity crisis.  I'm sure that he could find some workaround in his programming to help her if Michael wasn't there insisting that he does not take this course of action.

But even after all of that fussing over what has been done wrong with KITT, I can’t deny that he is the heart and soul of this film.  There was only one scene in this film that brought me near tears.  I got more of an emotional impact from this one clip than I have from a lot of movies that are undeniably much better.  Michael’s old-fashioned Chevrolet does not hold up in the year 2000, and it is clear that the usual car chase sequence won’t work as police vehicles quickly creep up on them.  I was personally very curious what they would do here.  I figured that KITT would find some way to outsmart the drivers of the police cars, maybe by ending up on an elevated mountain road that trips up the other drivers and causes them to waste time turning around and hopping on that same path.  Or, maybe, KITT would access a road that’s too narrow for the relatively bulky police cars.  However, it quickly becomes clear that this city is made up of wide roads on the ground.  As KITT veers off the road and tells Michael to trust him, the I found myself having to trust him.  This isn’t the way Knight Rider chases usually go, and with all these odds stacked against him, the only thing we can do is hold our breath.  The way this scene is staged to send us into this just as blind as Michael is, frankly, genius.  Water slowly creeps into the frame as a feeling of dread builds at the thought of what KITT might do.

Surely, we are led to think, he will knock into some boxes and turn right back around.  Right?  We’re reminded of the fact that this is not the Knight 2000, that there is no chance of this car floating.  That if KITT does what he really seems to be doing, there’s no chance… but he wouldn’t, would he?  This is the only action sequence in the film that had me at the edge of my seat, staring wide eyed at the screen.  And then, the turn that you want so badly to come doesn’t, and you have to wonder what’s about to happen.  What was KITT thinking?  Won’t Michael and Shawn drown?  And, most prominently in my mind, won’t KITT drown?

For a moment, this scene plays us into believing that, because magic FLAG science that is pretty par for the course, everything is fine.  KITT explains that they have an airtight cab and over 20 minutes of oxygen.  Everyone lets out a collective breath of relief.  We see it in Michael and Shawn, and I know I felt myself relax.

And then there’s a flicker in the screen, and that pit in the bottom of my stomach came right back.  Michael is confused, and KITT explains what we should have realized was inevitable.  This is KITT sacrificing himself.  He even goes as far as to let Shawn know that she can use any of his computer chips that she may need.  This comes off as strange at first, but it goes to show that KITT is, at his core, the same kind soul we always knew.  He acts angry because he feels betrayed, but given the choice, he will chose another person’s life over his own, always.  Even the microprocessor that he is most frustrated over, the thing that seems to drive a wedge between him and Shawn, is just how he is expressing his hurt.  Now, thinking it is the end, he offers it up freely, and Shawn doesn’t seem to know how to respond.  KITT is calm as he says his final goodbyes.  And this is the first place in the film that we get to hear the amazingly nuanced  voice acting that William Daniels is so great at.  KITT sounds collected and at peace with what is to come, but there are also subtle hints that he is at least a bit nervous, a bit sad.  “I know.  I guess this is goodbye.”  He doesn’t want to leave his friends, but he knows that he has to for them to be safe.  Even if the pacing of the film seems to actively try to undermine this moment, it stands out to me as an amazing scene, even if the reaction from Michael is underwhelming at best and the reaction from Shawn is… as much as can be expected from Shawn, but that’s not saying much.  As far as KITT knows in that moment, these are his last words: “Michael, take care of yourself.”  Down to the last moment, Michael is everything to him.

IjustwannamakeitclearquicklythatIthinktheirrelationshipisentirelyplatonicokthankyou

And I felt sad, big time sad.  The movie up until that point was unbelievably boring to me, and this wasn’t a turning point where the movie suddenly became great.  It was a moment so darn good that I almost don’t think the movie deserved for it to have as big of an impact as it did.  But that shows just how powerful this universe is, how wonderfully honest these characters are.  Even after being butchered practically beyond recognition, one scene in-character can still bring you to tears because you have connected with them so deeply throughout the TV series.

AND THEN DEVON DIED IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS :D

I don’t like Devon.

Devon was actually more tolerable in this movie than normal, and I can see where people who don’t hate him could be sad that he died  I just,,, he has hurt or talked down to KITT and KARR so many times that I actually could not sympathize.  What’s even more frustrating about that is that Devon’s death is the one that Michael got all sad over when KITT sacrificed his life for him and Devon got kidnapped randomly but okay go off movie you can’t ruin that scene for me.  I knew going in that Devon died, but I was expecting them to spend a lot more time setting it up and making it as dramatic as possible.  Nope, he just got a shot to the old air tanks I guess?  My view of it is nothing more than that it’s a thing that happened.

OH AND DEVON DID PULL ONE HEINOUS ACT.  He said that KIFT was better than KITT in every way other than that KITT has humanity.  SINCE WHEN HAS DEVON GIVEN ONE SINGULAR HOOT ABOUT THE AI’S BEING ALIVE???  TELL KARR THAT???  HECK, TELL DEACTIVATED KITT THAT YOU WERE JUST FINE SELLING OFF AT AUCTION THAT?!?!  Also also, KIFT DOES NOT C O M P A R E TO KITT.  We are coming back to KIFT in a moment, don’t you worry.  For now, I just.  Low blow, Devon, low blow.

Michael was fine too, he played a weirdly small part and that felt off but everything he said seemed pretty in character.  The most out of character parts were when he said nothing at all.  OH AND WHERE HE WAS REPLACING BONNIE but that’s besides the point, no Bonnie OR April… no Bonnie OR April… I’m fine…

…

It feels like this movie wants you to forget that Michael exists because Shawn is here she’s more interesting, right?  Right???

She’s really not.

So back to KIFT.  My favorite part of KIFT is that pronouncing KIFT in your head sounds funny.  It’s like “gift” but if the gift were actually an underwhelming villain of sorts that is overtaken in a garage, parked, by Michael either removing his microprocessor entirely or moving it to a Chevrolet.

I was surprised how not bad KIFT looked.  I had seen stills from the movie that looked really uninteresting compared to the regular designs, and while I still agree to some extent, it was a lot more epic than I would have thought.  Something about how the paint shines on it is captivating.  I was genuinely happy when KITT was moved to the snazzy red vehicle, although a big part of that could have been how disgusting mint green looks with red.  Seriously, including the red scanner on that bizarre seafoamy-bluey car (and yes, I do think it is a very pretty car by itself) was like when people say movies were “inspired” but in the opposite direction.  And the scanner looked weirdly small?  Was it just me?

Am I the only one who feels w e i r d just looking at this??

I think this is the most normal thing to be categorized as being in uncanny valley but there we go, I did it.  It’s not right.

Anyway, as neat as KIFT looks, it is no comparison to the classic Knight 2000 or even Season 3 KARR.  Red can be striking, but not when the classic scanner is also red.  No contrast!

KIFT is absurdly easy to forget, and I don’t think that the car’s design has anything to do with it.  KITT spends most of the movie piloting that car, and while it is not what we are used to, it doesn’t come across as super lame to me, either…or at least, not because of the design.  The biggest problem with KIFT is, I think, simply his voice.  His voice feels so out of place in the movie, and it’s so strange to me considering that Daniels’ voice is integrated just fine.  The recording sounds too crisp, too clean.  KITT’s voice always has a great deal of character, a very Earthy-sounding voice for an AI character.  I actually think that this incongruity is purposeful, and it’s a very clever concept.  We are supposed to recognize that KIFT isn’t human like KITT is.  KIFT sounds out of place in the real world among real people; he’s too neat around the edges.  It’s especially obvious when KITT and KIFT talk to each other.  This is also mirrored by how KITT occupies a well-loved Chevrolet that has little imperfections that make it feel real whereas KIFT is in this red… whatever it is that feels like it comes out of a sci-fi film.  This effect would have really worked if we had enough time with KIFT to understand his personality–or, more aptly, his lack of personality.  What makes this not work is the fact that we spend practically no time with KIFT.  We don’t get to hear what he feels he is programmed to do, we don’t get to hear him deliver the sort of lifeless lines that Shawn did that made her so unlikable, and we don’t even get to hear his voice more than 4-5 times.  Every time comes as a shock, taking us out of the moment of the film.  We could have gotten used to his crisp sound if he had spoken more, and we may have seen the actual plot significance of it.  Instead, it pulls you right out of the movie.

Oh yeah, and the only line(s?) that KIFT delivers to KITT are full-on taunting… that’s not very lifeless of you KIFT.

Alright, just one last thing to really hammer home a point from earlier and conclude this whole thing.  You know what I was saying about this movie lacking the whimsical nature of the TV show?  Well, the final chase puts the icing on this oddly sullen crab cake.

Yes, crab cake. 

Because the pinchy crab that is Shawn makes it quite painful to get this particular cake and icing doesn’t even belong on it anyway.

KITT is racing down the street in this bright red car that I just explained is thematically wrong for him to be driving tbh but whatever, he’s racing in it and comes up to a barricade of randomly stacked up cars.

Oh Yeah, we all know what is coming.

The music swells.  Michael looks at the upcoming barricade with furrowed eyebrows and quietly asks KITT what the heck they’re going to do now.

OH YEAH, we definitely know what is coming.

And at last, for the first time in the film…

KITT veers off to the right and they drive on water.  “It’s really sink or swim with you, isn’t it?” Michael asks, pretending that’s funny as if I am not still emotionally raw from that scene that happened an hour ago.

Apparently, KIFT had that one obscure feature from “Return to Cadiz,” the Season 2 episode where April forces KITT to follow KARR into the ocean on the hopes that waterproof wheels might work maybe, directly ignoring his many attempts to get out of it.  Yay.  I love references to That Episode.  That Episode which baited me with an opening that looked like KARR could have been discovered underwater only to show me that not only was there no KARR, but KITT was going to be bullied into repeating what his brother did when he died.  Wholesome.  Lovely.  Fantastic.  And how did KITT know for sure that would work?  KITT clearly still has some technical hiccups in his own CPU from Michael tampering with it, that was an awful lot of confidence to place in a maybe.

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY…

THIS MOVIE DID NOT HAVE A TURBO BOOST

A TURBO BOOST

I cannot believe that a movie based around Knight Rider did not have a turbo boost (or for that matter, the THEMESONG???).  Like I am honestly still surprised by it.  Almost every episode of the original show had at least one turbo boost, and there is a reason.  The idea of a talking car jumping in midair, sometimes with Michael “WOO!”-ing like a girl, is so fantastically fun that nobody even tries to question how impossible it is.  I think we all know how impossible it is, and that doesn’t matter, it is yet another thing that embodies the heart of this show.

And… not even one.

…

So yeah, that just happened.  I think this is technically a small novel.  Wow.

  I know that I'm still missing a lot... I have a lot of thoughts about this movie, and if you for some reason want more please ask!  I would also love to hear your thoughts on this!  Do you agree with my analysis?  Do you disagree entirely?  Did you notice something that I failed to mention entirely?  Pleasepleaseplease send ideas, I would love to hear them!  Also know that, no matter how much I was disappointed by the movie itself, I am fully open to hearing your ideas about how to improve or expand upon it.  I truly believe that this film introduced some great concepts, and I would absolutely adore seeing them reworked in a way that's more true to the original.  Thank you for reading! :D

[datawyrms]

Still Robophobic?

Chapter 2  while crawling through all of K1-B0′s text so I can inanely chatter and make depth that probably wasn’t there because it makes me happy. and you can’t stop me. Once again I am serious this is all of his text so this is LONG. (and if you didn’t read my first super long post covering Prologue/ch1, you might want to do that first) someone make me work on my fics lol

Also I totally just realized Keebo is totally hiding behind Himiko after Monokuma’s return to life and I just MISSED HIM lol. He trusts Kaede and Shuichi, even when they’re being sketchy as heck and says he’ll think of plans too, because more plans are better than less. shame upon me for overlooking more of his trusting and trying to help nature. MOVING ON.

Cold open with the funeral that starts at Kaede’s portrait so you think it’s current but no this is for our viewing pleasure only...Gonta finds the horse a hint...Kaito abuses a doorbell and shepherds Shuichi out of the room...get to the dining hall and Keebs is muttering questions so he can be the first one talking in a scene again!

K1-B0: Writing...? Gonta: Yeah! Like someone try to hide writing in grass! Weird, right!?

keep shining on with your refusal to do anything but ask questions unless talking to Kokichi or a Protag, Keebo. As Keebo is garbage at people, he has zero reaction to the Hatless Reveal. The human has removed part of their clothing and he does not care. If you’re curious, Maki, Ryoma, Himiko, Keebo and Kiyo are the only ones not to remark on it at all. :v

Kokichi: Kirumi, be my mom! Gonta: Gonta want you to be his mom, too! K1-B0: ...What are you two even saying?

even keebs knows you two are being hecka weird by asking that guys. Which is probably the joke that the robot calls them on this. Or it’s him not getting the point of moms/what they’re asking for...since you know. Built in a lab...(Though he does know, since he made fun of Kaede that way.)

K1-B0: ... Kokichi: Hm? What's wrong, Kee-boy? You're not eating— Oh yeah! I totally forgot you can’t eat! Y’know, cuz you’re a robot! K1-B0: ... Kokichi: Hey now, don't look so down. I'll bring you a broken TV later. K1-B0 I don't want that... I'm not a waste receptacle. Angie: Nyahahaha! Keebo and Kokichi seem to be getting along swimmingly!

Everyone’s eating and Keebo is just listlessly staring at food. Till Kokichi decides to loudly announce to everyone that’s what he’s doing. Which, judging by the fact Kaede had to ask...Keebo might have told Kokichi based on how he says ‘he forgot’ that and no one has really noticed he just watches. It’s been a busy set of days, I suppose. Angie is right in a way, she notices how Kokichi’s poking isn’t getting as much of a response and how the little punk keeps pushing on to get some words out of him. Course, it mostly looks like he’s making fun of him, but that’s Kokichi! for an ‘emotionless robot’ you sure picked out his emotion, tiny terror. Things Keebo doesn’t call robophobic: being told to eat broken electronics. He is pretty down though, Kaede’s FTE makes it pretty clear he’s pretty jealous that he can’t eat. Considering it looks good to him and all. (Who programmed that. Why would you do that.).

Shuichi falls into the depressing narrative ‘everyone is faking being normal’ mode after that conversation, we talk about the horse a hint again/Gonta’s gullibility.

Kokichi: Nee-heehee... Gonta, you're so gullible. Y'know, if you keep being this gullible... You’ll be killed before you know it. Understand? Shuichi: ...Ah! The moment Kokichi said that word, the warm and casual mood shattered. K1-B0: What's wrong, everyone? Is there a problem with Kokichi's advice? Gonta: Oh, Kokichi... You no should say thing like that, even as joke.

Keebs can sorta read the air to tell the mood just got real nasty...but has no idea why because to him it’s perfectly sensible advice. this boy. If someone is tempted to commit murder, logically they’ll try to trick people. Who do you trick? Someone gullible. He knows it isn’t a joke. No one actually answers him either, though he can probably guess by Tenko calling Kokichi insensitive. this is why he’s bad at people, people ignore him aaa

Kokichi tries reminding people hey monokuma is totally gonna exploit your glaring weakpoints lol/ups his dislike score, said bear shows up,  kubz give area unlocks/ make an attack on titian reference with the nape of the neck thing and they skadoodle. (keebo also having a neck weakness...tsumugi....)

Kokichi: Hmmm... Seeing that robot-looking one get left out makes me think of Keebo...

yes keebo, you really, really are. No one else even says anything about this, Maki moves the conversation to the items they just got. Poor guy wants to pretend he isn’t that left out. Oh well...he’ll probably figure it out...eventually... Shuichi gets given the job of rubbing items on things because he is the Protag so Go Unlock Stuff, Boy. Keebo hangs out with Tenko near the to-be-unlocked pool.

K1-B0: That item we received earlier...I think we can use it on this stone monument. Can you try?

Tutorial robot strikes again. There is information I know, so i am going to say it and have no fluff dialogue. Tenko has a pretty sweet little scene with Shuichi here and he’s just beep-boop my protagonist powers know a puzzle when I see it.

K1-B0: The ivy withered in seconds. What remarkable technology... Tenko: Ah! We can get in! We can go in from there, right!? K1-B0: ...You intend to go inside? That course of action seems dangerous. Monophanie: No, it’s not dangerous. There’s just a pool in there.

This is why no one invites you to their DnD sessions Keebo. Sure, it’s true they probably shouldn’t blindly blunder into new places but you literally just told Shuichi how to open the door. ‘Ah, a new discovery. Time to ignore it.’ Of course he’s impressed by tech bordering on magic, which is fun. I wonder if the Kubz got summoned to make sure Keebo didn’t chicken out on exploring :v He honestly seems to trust they won’t lie to them, or at least not blatantly/in ways that would get them killed.

Tenko: What should we do? There may be a pool, but we’re not going for a swim, are we? K1-B0: But...if it is not dangerous, then maybe we should take a look. It is never bad to have too much information. Shuichi: Yes, I suppose you're right...

K1-B0: It looks like there's a pool inside. We should take a closer look. It would be best to know the specifics.

Easily swayed, this robot. Two seconds ago you were all ‘let’s not go in there’ and now you’re This Is Totally Not Dangerous, time to Take A Look. Because the Monokubs said it was okay. It had the opposite effect on Tenko, but she’s outvoted by the ahogeholders. I’d say ‘make up your mind’ but this is how Keebo makes up his mind. If he knows something ‘for certain’, he wants to know more. If it’s iffy, he’s cautious. It does look like he’s indecisive as hell though xD

Shuichi: ...Then I suppose that dream is pretty far away. K1-B0: It’s not necessarily a dream of mine... But swimming with everyone does sound fun. If I tried to swim, I would just sink. Shuichi: ...And that one is even farther.

He tries to relate to Tenko a little bit here, in the swimming is her dream but really he just thinks it sounds fun to be included, he knows he can’t swim...they’re in the same boat in that regard! Tenko actually does want to learn to swim, it comes up quite a bit in URDP. Keebo not so much. He really is more chatty about himself in smaller groups :v

K1-B0: I wonder if the day will ever come when I can swim with everyone... Tenko: Keebo! I was wondering... If you fell off a boat and sank to the bottom...would you be stuck living under the sea, beneath a rock or in a pineapple!? K1-B0: What...? Shuichi: No, I believe that before you'd get too deep, your body would be crushed by the pressure... K1-B0: Please don’t say such scary things, both of you! Or I’ll never set foot on a boat!

K1-B0: ...If I ever get the chance to ride a boat, I will wear a state-of-the-art flotation device.

He’s scared. By both of them. He doesn’t get the reference at all, obviously. His hopeful wondering that he might be able to take part in something gets redirected into either being trapped alone at the bottom of the sea forever or crushed to death. From a question that basically comes out of nowhere! But he apparently is still willing to go on a boat with proper precautions. To not be left out. he just wants to be your friend guys. you could at least say sorry for freaking him out come on. His struggle with Not Being Swim Compatible continues.

Shuichi: This looks like...a storage room? K1-B0: I peeked inside and discovered all manner of pool supplies in here. It is fully stocked with kickboards, water polo balls, and even sturdy rubber inner tubes. Perhaps I can float in water if I inflate them and attach them all over my body. Shuichi: Ah, I think you would look like that tire company's mascot...

shh let him do it, it sounds funny. It’s interesting Shuichi’s willing to say this out loud, he usually keeps his snark in his head. Also, you got a lot of info from a peek Keebo. Thank you for also mentioning rubber inner tubes exist here, as this will be plot relevant later. :p

Tenko: Oh, Keebo! Are you a degenerate male or a girl!? Which is it!? 

Shuichi: Really? How interesting...I suppose I did just assume he was a...he. But Keebo is a robot, so...

Non binary keebo is canon. ‘don’t know’ he/him pronouns on the profile page for the robot.  Because he literally hasn’t even thought about it before. And it doesn’t seem like he intends to either! He doesn’t start rationalizing out which one he might be, just admits he...cares so little it never crossed his mind. but seriously how old are you. how long have you existed and not a SINGLE person asked you Keebo your backstory is super shaky. Or secretly depressing. also i totally forgot Miu gets way too excited by the tennis machine. no wonder she takes so long to drag keebo to the lab :v Shuichi wanders off to unlock everything else, and they all meet back up in the gym.

Angie: Alrighty then, check this out. K1-B0: That is a peculiar-looking flashlight...So, what of it? Angie: Umm, I dunno what it is either. I inspected it pretty good...Nyahahaha, but in the end I couldn't figure it out.

we’ve been here for two seconds and you’re back to asking questions aaa Though the fact Angie and Keebo have actually talked to one another again is good, it helps explain why she might have chosen to add him to her ‘friend group’ -cough- Angie then explains she asked Monokuma, he shows up, sorta explains the flashback lights.

Kaito: Hey! Don’t just give up on explaining after a single sentence!  K1-B0: So...what should we do? Tenko: What should we do...? You mean, should we or should we not use the flashlight? No way! I refuse! It reeks of fishiness!

keebo i’m confiscating your question mark key. Taking relying on others opinions to entirely new levels, this robot. But hey he’s actually been answered twice! That’s better than posing the question to the sound of crickets chirping. Tenko seems to like him better in general after hanging out a bit too. (and the whole ‘is not a boy thing.) Kaito and Kokichi face off in ‘should we use the flashback light’ annnd

Tenko: I'm...staying. After hearing that degenerate’s speech, running away would just frustrate me! Gonta: Gonta also stay... Is what true gentleman would prolly do. K1-B0: I also agree with Kaito. Our defeat is 100% assured unless we stand up to this. That’s... how I feel, deep inside. Just a whisper- Kokichi: You hear it in your ghost? I'm pretty sure robots don't have ghosts, though. K1-B0: ...Leave me alone. 

First mention of his inner voice! Kokichi pounces on that, which just gets Keebo to actually stand up for himself a little, though pretty pathetically. He doesn’t seem all that sure if it’s him feeling what’s right or the inner voice though...calling it a whisper. He’s completely convinced to go along with it though, he’s really more of a follower...but of course the outside world is going to compel the protag to get plot details. then they actually use the light

Shuichi: I can't either...I suddenly realized... I could not remember any important details of the Ultimate Hunt... K1-B0: It’s no use, I can’t remember either. I can only remember being chased... I can't remember anything else at all. 

Way to echo Shuichi’s inner thoughts, Keebo. This whole flashback light should really be confusing him more than it does. but we’ll get to that.

Ryoma: Could the reason be that...we were caught by the Ultimate Hunt? Shuichi:  Caught...by the Ultimate Hunt? K1-B0: You mean, we tried to escape by erasing our memories, but they found us anyway... And subsequently, we were captured as part of this Ultimate Hunt? 

At first I thought Keebo’s ‘returned’ memory might have been slightly different to compensate for the glaring issue but nope! Here he is, stating they erased their memories. and he’s summarizing again lol. keebs. i don’t care if you throw your harddrive in a washing machine, you are going to very quickly re-learn that you’re a goddamned ROBOT. He doesn’t even question this memory, no one does! (ok, kokichi probably caught it based on what he does right after this but otherwise) did you think you were a slightly less ultimate robot how did this even logic in your head. Questions that will never be answered.

Kaito: We just gotta work together. If we cooperate, we'll make it out of here alive. Just like a certain someone said... Shuichi:  ...Kaede. K1-B0: But I believe cooperating with each other is the most logical course of action— Kokichi: *snore* I’m snooooring! K1-B0: ...Why are you sleeping!? Kokichi: Whoa! Huh, what!? Tsumugi: Hey, Kokichi...we're having a serious conversation here. Kokichi: And is it written somewhere that I have to take serious conversations seriously? Kaito: Tch, quit acting so immature! Kokichi: Hm? I’m a teenager...so duh I’m immature. Aren’t you guys forgetting to act your age? K1-B0: But I don't have a biological age... Kokichi: Don't worry about it, Keebo. I'm just talking to the humans right now! K1-B0: ...Grgh!  Kokichi: What were we talking about again? Something about working together to escape, right?

he thinks kokichi is actually sleeping. he genuinely buys it when he says I’M SNORING. you sheltered little robot. He is super bad with people in so many new and exciting ways. Which effectively stops him from being a driving force/leading anyone...which is probably exactly what sleepyhead wanted here. Then excludes him further with the not a human reminder, which Keebo still doesn’t actually contest. No fitting in for the robot, can’t be trusted. That and the conversation gets re-directed to the mastermind among them from this diversion. Use Robot for Free Topic Change :v Keebo doesn’t speak up  again at all after this, but he’d probably have no idea what to say about Ryoma just casually going ‘nothing to live for bye’ so. Free time dialogue time!. First time slot...he’s in the dining hall

K1-B0: ...Shuichi, if you have free time, would you like to spend it with me? There's something I want to ask you. 

Lookit him, taking some initiative and asking Shuichi to hang out. Negative five points because you want to ask questions. he’s a very curious robot. Second time slot he retreats to his room.

K1-B0: There's an area in this school that is closed off. It seems there are other hidden rooms as well. 

There’s a lot of hidden rooms! He really doesn’t talk about anything but current events and the school... Free time ends, kubs bungle the motive delivery, Shuichi watches Kaito’s video...and goes to run off to tell him right away about his sad looking grandparents....

Shuichi: Keebo! Have you seen Kai-- K1-B0: Impeccable timing Shuichi! I was on my way to get you! Shuichi: You were? K1-B0: Everyone is gathering in the dining hall. Please come right away. I'll go get everyone else. 

Keebo’s been promoted to sleepy student fetcher in the meantime, or more likely volunteered to help Kaito when he proposed gathering everyone to talk about it. Good thing Kaito didn’t beeline for Shuichi or he might have actually seen the video :v

Kirumi: Shall we wait for everyone then? Until then, I can provide you all with massages— K1-B0:  Thank you for waiting! We gathered everyone else! Korekiyo: My word...and after I was about to finally experience one of Kirumi's famed massages... K1-B0: Wh-What do you mean? Are you also suggesting that I cannot read the air? Maki: So what is it? Why did you drag us here?

kiyo you’re hurting the robot’s feelings with your massage lusting. Keebo no idea and just assumes it’s a reading the air thing pffft. Getting everyone together to discuss the kubspads is a bit more important, even if they wanted to do something first. Not that anyone is going to tell him that :v

Kokichi: So, what are these videos? K1-B0: No doubt they’re the motives from Monokuma, but why were they all mixed up...? Gonta: Y-Yeah! Why Gonta get Tsumugi's video— K1-B0: No! Don’t say it Gonta! Gonta: ...Hm? Tsumugi: Aah...I heard it... I see... So Gonta has my video... Gonta: ...Huh? Gonta not supposed to say it? Miu: Who fuckin’ cares!? We’re gonna exchange ‘em anyway, right? K1-B0: No, we cannot exchange them. Shuichi: What? We can't? Ryoma: Why not? They're videos of the most important people in our lives. K1-B0: And that is precisely why we cannot exchange them. Although we do not know why our motives were mixed up...As long as we don't exchange them, we don't have to see our motives at all. Himiko: So it’s better to just ignore them... K1-B0: Yes. At least, that is what I think. Tenko: Th-That's true... If we ignore them, then we won't have a motive... Ryoma: I'm against that.

The robot has learned the technique of how to cut people off mid sentence, but was a bit too slow on the draw here. This is basically the first time Keebo takes the lead on an idea though, so of course it’s about keeping everyone safe. poor gonta. Innocently having no idea why the weird robot is suddenly pushy at him. The fact this clicked really quick for Keebo while Shuichi is still half ‘but i gotta show it to Kaito’ is pretty interesting, but makes sense. He’s probably less likely to have that emotional ‘oh friend would want to know this, i must let them know’ moment our detective is having. I expect he saw it as a motive first, and all else second. Kaito is the one who takes over when it comes to confronting Ryoma, because Keebo and conflict do not mix well. because he’s a doormat. He does speak up again though!

Kokichi: Who cares? Ryoma just stated his opinion. Actually...I feel the same way as him K1-B0: Are you...trying to cause trouble again? Kokichi: Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not saying we shouldn't care about killing or dying...But I think it'd be better if we didn't cooperate with each other...Actually we *definitely* shouldn't cooperate with each other!

...because Kokichi speaks up! Kokichi likes to remark on him, so darn it, he’s going to remark back on on the purple terror. He keeps going on for a long time here too. The fact Keebo was one to originally bring the ‘don’t share’ plan up might be why Kokichi goes so hard against it here. he doesn’t trust keebs as far as he can throw him, so anything he wants done must be obstructed. It’s early on enough that he hasn’t really had time to confirm Keebo is as harmless as he says he is (usually.) And hey if it doesn’t work he’s still showing himself as ‘difficult’ for future evil plans.

Kokichi: Anyway, I’m warning you all for your sake. Let's just exchange our motive videos instead of cooperating with each other. K1-B0: ...I cannot comprehend that logic. Kokichi: Well, now that I've said I won't cooperate, I can't afford to be seen with you losers...C’mon Gonta, let’s go.

good job keebo. don’t refute or argue, just state you have no idea how his brain works. He doesn’t speak up at all once Kokichi leaves either, not even when it devolves into Kirumi getting a bunch of orders. He isn’t one of the ones that leaves so apparently he just...watches everyone eat hot pot :v Then it’s time for more free times!

K1-B0: Everyone seemed to really enjoy that delicious-looking tripe hot pot... It's fine. You do not need to worry about me. *sigh*...

oh he literally did. I forgot this line. keebo. why do you do this to yourself. The food thing is...a big thing for him. Is this why you hate vending machines Keebo. Do you think those machines ate the food. In Free time slot two he’s alone still (he’s almost always alone, no matter where he is. Kokichi and Kaito were just in the room he’s in now the previous free time tho.)

K1-B0: I also want to know what is contained in my motive video... But...if a killing were to happen because of that... It would mean that we've betrayed the very wish that Kaede entrusted to us.

I want to know but am putting everyone being safe first. Though also ‘Keebo what on earth could you been shown that would make you thinking killing is okay suddenly.’ Then I’m ‘oh do you mean you don’t trust the person you trade with to not go murder’. Do you have Shuichi’s, Keebo? Is that making you double down on Kaede’s wish, right to Shuichi’s face? Kaito is surprised to know Shuichi has his, there’s nothing saying they had to be ‘swapped’ to match...it’s just interesting to think about. another interesting thing is Himiko and Angie are hanging out in the same room during this free time. V3 is pretty good about foreshadowing future events if you go talk to everyone! Anyway, Keebo shows up in Tenko’s parasol event/bonus scene. 

K1-B0: I am grateful for your care, Kirumi. Kirumi: This is more people than I had been told. Tenko: I'm sorry... I just wanted Himiko to feel like a celebrity, too! Angie: Can I join? Atua says He wants to feel like a celebrity too! Himiko: If Atua wants to be a celebrity, then we might as well invite him too. Tenko: S-Sure... If that's what you want, Himiko. Grrrrgghhh...I just wanted to vacation like a celebrity with Himiko! Shuichi: ...Would a god want to be a celebrity? 

This bit is interesting! Tenko objects to Angie coming, but she must have invited Keebo herself, as he isn’t here to set anything up. He doesn’t spend either of his free time spots at the pool, so it’s not coincidence that he’s there either. Maybe they’ve bonded over their inability to swim. He wouldn't just tag along of his own accord. Tenko then tries to shoo Shuichi away here because of course she does :v

Shuichi: ...What about Keebo? Tenko: Keebo's a robot, so he's neither male nor female! He barely passes! K1-B0: ...I cannot tell if that remark is robophobic or not. Shuichi: Well at the very least, you're better off than I am... 

Want to be included...eclipsing need to be treated the same...Even though he’s self admitted to not being either! :v Keebo honestly doesn’t know what he wants. Shuichi apparently thinks you’re enough of a guy to get turfed out with him Keebo, so that’s probably something you like? It’s nice to see Tenko remembered though, considering she was the one who asked him in the first place.

Kirumi: By the way, Keebo... K1-B0: Yes? Kirumi: In your case, would you prefer oil over tropical juice?

Kirumi: Keebo, Tenko requested I help her feel like a celebrity. And she has included you as one of her guests... I will do my utmost to fulfill her request, for that is how a maid must conduct herself. So please tell me what food or beverages I can prepare so you feel like a celebrity Shuichi: Such pride and dedication... Kirumi's prowess as a maid is showing! K1-B0: Um...I do not require food. And I would not be able to taste it in the first place...

He’s a bit hard to read here! He’s happy with just the offer, but seems a bit awkward about it judging by the sprite being used. Actually being accommodated for seems to put him off a little. It seems he’s fine on oil on the moment so he has no need or desire for it though. Which conflicts with Kirumi’s goal and seems to actually irritate Keebo by pressing. He’s doing the exasperated hands up sprite when he’s stating he doesn’t need or taste food. Would it be nicer to just go ‘okay fine oil’, probably. but he doesn’t since uh. It could just be the ‘I just said no thank you why does no one LISTEN’ getting to him! that and we know keebo has like -10 to tact anyway. That and...asking him what he needs to ‘feel like a celebrity’ probably just sent him thinking ‘THAT’S A FEELING???’ so he just sticks to a fact and pretends he’s not at a loss. Keebo then spends his time more interested in the parasol than anything else, because of course he is. He honestly looks puzzled by it, it’s kinda cute.

K1-B0: Out of curiosity, do you really need that parasol even though we're indoors? Tenko: Of course! If you wanna feel like a celebrity, you absolutely need a parasol! A robot like you wouldn't understand what it means to feel like a celebrity, huh Keebo? K1-B0: Ghhhh... Th-This is a difficult feeling to understand!

Keebo cannot have a nice thing without getting dumped on for it almost immediately after :v He basically admits he doesn’t know what ‘feeling like a celebrity’ is like by trying to justify himself...but really tenko the question was fair and you just go ‘haha robot’ instead of maybe realizing it’s an atmosphere thing not a feeling thing.  In the morning after Shuichi chats with Ryoma...

Shuichi: Good morning, Keebo. K1-B0: Good morning. Um, have you seen Kokichi or Gonta? Shuichi: Ah, I haven't seen them... K1-B0: I see...I saw them earlier...and they seemed to be sneaking around. Given Kokichi's penchant for mischief, do you think he's planning to cause more trouble? Gonta is very earnest but also very naive... Kokichi could easily fool him. Shuichi: That's true... That is a bit disconcerting. K1-B0: ...I wonder why Kokichi is so determined to undermine our cooperation. True, Monokuma does interfere with our attempts to cooperate, but consider this...Perhaps what Monokuma fears more than anything...is our cooperation. That is why I think that Kaede was not wrong. Shuichi: ...I think so too. I’ll always be thankful for what Kaede tried to do for us. K1-B0: That's right! If we all cooperate, I'm sure we will be able to escape this place! If we meet every morning for breakfast, we will slowly but surely become more united. Shuichi: Yeah! K1-B0: Well then, I will go to the dining hall now.

Keebo and Kokichi are mutually on one another’s case and it’s pretty hilarious. He doesn’t call Kokichi cruel or anything either...just mischievous. Even someone terrible at people saw what kind of person Gonta is, and has apparently decided Shuichi is the one who has to hear about his concerns. He’s pretty into the getting along and working together thing, but Kaito really takes the roll from him in most group settings, so we kinda only see it when Shuichi is alone. Though Shuichi maybe uh. don’t be thankful about the attempted...murder...I know that’s not what he means but hahaha it does not read well xD also Kokichi is totally Keebo’s rival, not Shuichi’s. because keebo is the real protag. :v he’s totally Togami levels of dickery to Keebo, who’s pretty Makoto-ish...even if I do read Kokichi more favourably at times for that sort of comparison :v  Moving on to the dining hall.

K1-B0: According to my calculations, not everyone has gathered today. Shuichi: You can see that without doing any calculations...

You know you’re low on the totem pole when Shuichi will dunk on you. Out loud. This is the opening bit for this scene! You couldn’t remark on people missing, no. it is dunk time. Everything Keebo does is in numbers detective, he’s a robot! He doesn’t need to inform you that he calculated it, yes...but he’s trying to impress people and he just sucks at it >> anyway yes people did not come to breakfast.

Tenko: Maybe she's hiding a bunch of kids in there that she's secretly taking care of! Shuichi: What? She's not some stray dog on the streets raising pups... K1-B0: I also saw Kokichi and Gonta sneaking around together. Miu: A couple of virgins sneakin' around sounds like bad news to me!

Keebo reiterates the ‘kokichi is a menace and has gonta with him’ fact for the rest of the class/people who don’t read optional dialogue. Yet he doesn’t mention how this concerns him like he does to Shuichi alone! because that’s not a fact and we’re in a group setting.

K1-B0: Himiko is acting rather odd. I do not fully understand what she is doing...

The Ultimate Mage might not have anything nice to say about him, but he’s paid enough attention to notice the weird ‘calm’ Himiko isn’t normal. Better point it out to Shuichi! and keebo you don’t even halfway understand what she’s doing, it’s ok. Though I suppose 1% of understanding is technically not ‘fully understanding’ something too :v

Himiko: Nyeeeh...as long as I pray like this, I don't need to waste my energy on useless stuff. No matter what happens or what trouble lies ahead, my heart will be calm... K1-B0: I see...It’s escapism. Angie: No... She has merely abandoned reality to speak to Atua. Tsumugi: That *is* escapism.

He found an answer! it’s delightfully cynical and calculated and thus hilarious. He’s doing his little ‘hand up/i’ve deduced something’ pose so he looks pretty proud of it too. Tsumugi of all people backs him up on this! Though I suppose she’d know allllll about escapism! :V gdi moogie. Yet even with his short, matter of fact answer he’s still confused after all the back an forth/ the hug scene.

K1-B0: What’s going on...? Did Angie...do something to Himiko? Angie: Hm? I just undid her brainwashing, that's all. K1-B0: But...Himiko is clearly acting strange. Himiko: That’s rude. I’m not acting strange. This is my true self... I guess Atua's words can't reach robots... K1-B0: Wha—! You're being robophobic again! Angie: It's okay! Atua has compassion for robots who look human! K1-B0: O-Okay... 

Aw. He’s worried about his friend...who doesn’t like him and said we should kill him. this boy, I swear. Very forgiving. We can add one to the ‘times Keebo actually outright said something was robophobic’ count...annnnd Himiko is literally using the reason that he’s a robot to invalidate his concern over her behaviour. i think he’s justified! Not to mention he instantly backs down when Angie basically goes ‘oh Atua would include you’ and doesn’t argue for any other robots here...really just say ‘stop treating me like i’m sub human’, but then they’d just say he is sub human so. robophobic it is :v He just wants to be included so badly...but he’s getting the message as a robot he can’t. and that is sad. of course he listens to angie later, atua and her will include him, even as a robot. Though not at first! The next time he talks...

Angie: No, noooo, that's wrong. It's not enough to simply live here forever. Our lives must also be full of divine purpose. In other words...We must make this academy  heaven on earth! Shuichi: What...? Angie: In doing so...our desire to leave will vanish, and the killings will cease. K1-B0: Are you...being serious right now? Angie: This place provides us all with shelter, food, clothing, and wonderful friends! What more could you possibly desire? Do not give in to your greed.

He’s very much on the ‘no, we are not staying here forever’ train. He can’t parse if she’s being serious or not. He’s also doing the job of reacting since Shuichi is still mostly reacting in his own head instead of out loud. Her argument might compel him a little though, considering how alternate plans of escape haven’t really shown up...

Himiko: Now is the time to demonstrate my powers. My magic is the only thing that can heal your twisted hearts. K1-B0: But in our current predicament, performing magic tricks is quite illogical- Himiko: Nyeeeh, don't disturb my concentration. You gotta learn to read the mood already. And...it's called a magic show cuz I do magic. Not tricks

Cut off again and dismissed! Keebo needs to avoid people shorter than himself, apparently it never goes well for him. Though he does get an unintentional stab at Himiko here by outright ignoring her ‘magic’ bit to clarify that they’re tricks. He isn’t too great at telling a sort of performance could cheer people up, sure...but people really should be thinking of other solutions too. but no we’re gonna dunk on the robot and go ‘shut up you’re dumb’. The fact he still attends when he clearly doesn’t get how it should help, or why...he’s trying so, so hard.

Korekiyo: Kehehe... Faith as intense as this can be quite terrifying. K1-B0: There may be no cause for concern. This does not appear to be related to our motive videos. Kaito: You're only worried about that? K1-B0: Of course. We cannot afford to take Monokuma’s motives lightly. Tsumugi: But...everyone who isn't here could be showing each other their videos, right?

yes kaito, he already expressed concern over Himiko’s behaviour and basically got told to sit down and shut up. Twice. Of course he’s only focused on the only thing he didn’t instantly get shut down over. You should have backed him up earlier! I really do love Kaito, but Keebo never really benefits from Kaito’s good qualities.  Free time again, he’s hanging out on the 3rd floor. Same general area as Maki’s lab...so basically alone, as usual.

K1-B0: A magic show...It seems unconnected to the killing game, so I do not foresee any issues with it... 

Fortune telling is not one of his skills. Though I suppose the show itself has no issues, it’s what happens before...This is also the last FT slot in the chapter so I’m smacking the level one FTE here.

K1-B0: Since you have come to speak to me...I can only assume that you've taken some sort of interest in me. Shuichi: Ah, well...you are a robot, after all. K1-B0: Indeed. Curiosity is a very useful human quality...Very well, I shall humor you. Shuichi: ...Hm. I feel as though he's talking down to me a little... K1-B0: So first, I will explain my functions. As a robot, I'm somewhat extraordinary compared to you. Shuichi: But...I remember you saying something about having the strength of an old person... K1-B0: T-True, but...Considering the tragedy that occurred during trial production, it was a logical design choice.Now first, is my visual acuity. I have 20/13 vision... Impressive, no? Shuichi: ...You think so? I believe that's pretty normal... K1-B0: What are you talking about!? Over 50% of high school students have less than 20/20 vision! But no matter what, my visual acuity will always be 20/13. Shuichi: If it got any worse, I suppose that would count as a malfunction... K1-B0: My next function will definitely surprise you. Shuichi, please raise your hand. Shuichi: Huh? My what? K1-B0: I want you to put your hand in front of my mouth. Shuichi: ...Like this? K1-B0 Haaaaaaaaaaa... Shuichi: ...What the hell is this? K1-B0: Haaaaaaaaaaa... Shuichi: Lukewarm breath grazed across my hand. Well, Keebo is a robot, so maybe not "breath"... K1-B0: How about that? In addition, my warm breath also functions as a dryer. Shuichi: Ah...I see... K1-B0: Now, now, you can't be surprised just yet, okay? Case in point, my hand can turn into a multi-tool! With both hands, I have 20 tools at my disposal! My finger can detect wafting aromas, and even distinguish between different scents! I also have a music player for when I'm bored. I can even play tapes and records. Neat, huh? Shuichi: I'm still thinking about how weird your breath felt, I dunno about your other functions... K1-B0: Don't be too surprised. After all, I am the Ultimate Robot! Shuichi: ...

The start of Keebo’s FTE is almost word for word how he starts with Kaede. This is how he introduces himself to people. This is him being confident and secure. Unlike Kaede though, Shuichi has no qualms in pointing out Keebo’s shortcomings instead of letting him chatter on like he does with Kaede. He spends a lot more time trying to show him new functions, apparently thinking he just needs to show one that’s a bit more ‘impressive’ to get a positive reaction. Like being asked questions, or at least a ‘oh that’s cool’ instead of ‘wait aren’t you weak’. But we’ll gloss over the the tragedy in trial production AGAIN. To the point he takes Shuichi’s baffled silence as a more positive reaction than of the others he got, seeing as he seems to think the detective is impressed...even though we know he’s not. It’s true most people don’t have twenty tools always on hand and a music player that can take tapes and records on them at all times but...it’s easy to dismiss as not that interesting. Even though he’s desperately fishing for validation here. The nicest answer we can get out of Shuichi here...is clearly a lie, to be honest. (Keebo probably uses that music function a lot.)

Shuichi: Y-Yeah...amazing K1-B0: Right? I am Professor Idabashi's masterpiece, after all. The professor's technology has given me the functions to support a life of comfort. Shuichi: A life of comfort... I see. That makes sense. K1-B0: However...My greatest attribute is actually not a function at all.

He takes it as a honest statement and instantly brings up how great his creator is. Keebo...cares about Professor Idabashi a lot. He is bragging, about himself...but everything he is is something his ‘father’ made. Or at least that’s what he thinks anyway...He wants people to know how great his dad is. and that’s sadly sweet. (Since he probably doesn’t exist. or care about him if he was made for this...) The part where he supports of a life of comfort is interesting though. Are you built to bring comfort to the professor, or mostly yourself Keebs? It could be both. It’s nice to think Keebo’s father figure would want him to be able to live comfortably...be able to stand on his own two feet as it were. He might not have a use for many of the functions, but he’s clearly thinks they’re valuable

Shuichi: That's actually pretty normal. K1-B0: Gh—! Wh-What do you mean, "normal"!? What do you know about robots!? The meaning of "normal" is purely subjective anyway! Don't assume your definition of normal is the same as mine! Shuichi: Oh no, he's really mad! K1-B0: F-Furthermore...! My greatest attribute is actually not a function at all.

ahahahaWHOOPS. Good job Shuichi, you genuinely upset him. Because you said his ‘father’s’ work is ‘normal’. Without the context of the ‘nicer’ reply, this can seem really out of left field! Keebo is usually all about being ‘normal’ and fitting in ‘like everyone else’ but here he goes basically spitting fire at Shuichi for it. What do you know about robots indeed Keebo...But hey, we get some of that impulsive side here, getting overwhelmed and just spitting out what he thinks right away. This is WAY more fight than we usually see him give Kokichi, and that guy’s mocking him all the time. probably because he hopes Shuichi is a better/nicer person than him but still. In contrast...

Shuichi: Ah...is that it? K1-B0: Is that it...? You mean, you're not impressed? Shuichi: Well, I assumed you would have more...special...functions. K1-B0: ...W-Well, you know...I *might* have a special function of sorts... Shuichi: ...Might? K1-B0: But Professor Idabashi told me to keep it a secret. I hope you get the chance to see it someday. And besides... My greatest attribute is actually not a function at all.

He just takes it when Shuichi is unimpressed. Clearly Shuichi not being impressed with him is a shortcoming on his part, not the Professor, or his work. Being told he’s lame or disappointing is something we’ve seen a lot of...and apparently that doesn’t trigger his get mad buttons. Think he’s...kinda used to it by chapter 2. Though Keebo will still try and fish for later attention by suggesting he does have a ‘special’ function he’s been told to keep a secret. (Though...what Keebo things is special might not rate such praise from others)

Shuichi: It isn't? K1-B0: You can't tell what it is? It's my compact, lightweight design that makes my various functions possible! This is what truly drives Professor Idabashi's technological revolution! Well? Now do you understand just how amazing I am? Shuichi: I don't know how to respond to his boasting...Maybe someone like Miu would really appreciate his mechanics. Shuichi understandably is ‘ you’re like slightly less heavy than Gonta and he’s way bigger than you Keebo wtf do you mean’. This makes far more sense when you know KEEBO CAN FLY. He’s lightweight enough for that That is incredible. Too bad Keebo doesn’t actually like flying, according to him. Though really, being light enough to travel around where humans can fairly easily when he’s made is metal and carrying quite a bit of hardware is similarly impressive, even if Shuichi doesn’t really see it. He does correctly get that Miu would probably be impressed though! sorry keebo your attempts to look self assured have failed yet again. (As I wonder if Keebo feels he can be above or below humans, but not equal considering how little success he has and how his final FTE finishes but mhm we’ll get there.) Keebo is ones already grabbed by Gonta by the time Shuichi gets dragged in.

Korekiyo: The same is true of the rest of us. We were all seized by Gonta...and brought here. Tenko: But Shuichi's the only one who got knocked out. K1-B0: Gonta apologized for that. Apparently he couldn't slow down in time when he tried to grab you. Shuichi: What is this anyway...? Why did Gonta do this?

Gotta let Shuichi know that Gonta is sorry. Gonta is probably one of the nicer ones to him in general, so it’s not a big surprise that he’s already forgiving the guy for dragging him here, and hoping Shuichi doesn’t blame him either. Since we know who’s to blame....

K1-B0: I do not think Gonta would ever decide on his own to capture us. What is Kokichi trying to accomplish by taking advantage of Gonta's naivete? Regardless, I cannot forgive his nonchalant attitude about using people!

...haha keebo’s being nonchalantly used by tons of people...Anyway he doesn’t blame Gonta for this at all, understandably and is already going ‘what is that little gremlin up to?' He’s been concerned about this exact thing for days but wasn’t able to do anything about it. He even clarifies that even if there was a ‘good’ reason, he cannot stand for Kokichi just using Gonta like this...but unfortunately won’t be able to prevent it the second time either.

Kokichi: Isn’t it great!? Only an evil supreme leader like me could do something so...eeeeeevil! K1-B0: Kokichi...why are you doing this? Kokichi: Oh, I thought we could throw ourselves a little screening party with all our videos. With all you here, exchanging our motive videos wouldn't be that difficult at all...And I wanna see your videos, too, so I figured we could all binge-watch them together! K1-B0: D-Do you know what will happen if you do that? Kokichi: Ummm... Everyone will know their motive and a killing will be more likely to happen? But I like playing on Mean difficulty. Also, I don't run from battles in RPGs, either! I wanna win this killing game! So I'm not gonna run from it, I'm gonna crush it! That’ll be waaaay less boring, don’tcha think?

protag and rival square off. Or more Kokichi monologues his evil plan. Keebo’s the one to confront him about it first...and oh look, Danganronpa reference in regards to difficultly level. I wonder if he suspects he’s talking to a camera already. After all, he decides the gathered group is ‘enough’ for the little viewing party even though Gonta couldn’t get everyone. Five missing people is quite a few.

K1-B0: It seems I must be the one to take care of this. With my talent, Kokichi, I will stop- Kokichi: Yeah, yeah. I don't have time to listen to some robot. Let's see...it's exactly 9 pm. right now. I should be back by nighttime. Welp! Have fun with the bugs till then!

sorry keebo you don’t get to have monologues. He just listed to yours Kokichi, get back here and listen to the whole thing. It is good to see Keebo taking initiative though! Even if...people are not going to be all that impressed even though it works.

Tenko: M-My Neo-Aikido is no match for Gonta's superhuman strength either... K1-B0: ...We still have a chance when Kokichi comes back. That’s when I will take care of this. Everyone, please just endure it until then. Shuichi: E-Endure it—

Hey remember how all the cameras in the game are apparently magically tiny bug bears? So feasibly all CGs could just be shots from them? How are there bugs on the edges on such a tiny camera? ...Well we have a bigger camera at this scene, don’t we! keebo’s totally buried by bugs like himiko is ohno. Keebo might not be able to get bitten, but he’s not having a good time at the insect meet and greet either. He doesn’t talk during it, and his post dialogue doesn’t mention his own feelings. I imagine bugs crawling inside him would be unpleasant though :v Hopefully that didn’t happen. All those armored plates have edges for things to get at though...hm.

K1-B0: ...Thank you for enduring it, everyone. This is the last chance. Please leave the rest to me.

He is gonna help! do your best you funky little robot. Though if anyone had stopped Kokichi from leaving or made him have to listen to the speech Keebo could have done this an hour ago. This is why you back up your robot buddy, kids.

Kokichi: Oh, don't worry about it, Gonta. Just keep watch so these guys don't— K1-B0: That’s it! I won’t let you do as you please! Kokichi: Hm? K1-B0: I didn't want to use this unless I absolutely had to. It eats up a lot of my electricity. But that’s neither here nor there! I will stop you right here, right now! Shuichi: Keebo...what are you going to do...? K1-B0: ... Shuichi: Still glaring at Kokichi, Keebo slowly reach a hand behind his ear...and spun the mechanical parts there. Tsumugi: He's lighting up!? Is he gonna self-destruct or— *whirrr...* Tenko: Huh? What's that sound? K1-B0: One moment please... I'm rewinding the tape right now. Himiko: The tape?

Shuichi: Keebo shouted out and pushed his palm against his ear That's when... ‘Is this your doing, Kokichi? Did you have Gonta kidnap us?’ Was that...my voice? ‘Nee-heehee...he's so simple-minded. As soon as I told him that everyone who hates bugs was trying to get rid of them......he started crying, and said that he would get you guys to love bugs...or something like that.’ Could this be...? K1-B0: So, what do you think!? You just saw my audio recording function for the first time! Tenko: Did he really just whip out an audio recorder like it’s some kinda secret weapon!? Tsumugi: Really? It’s a cassette tape? In this day and age? K1-B0: But it’s metal tape, you know!? Tsumugi: The sound quality isn't the issue! K1-B0: L-Let's just put this aside now. More importantly, it seems to have worked.

Over the top and flashy for...recording audio with very good quality. No wonder it uses so much electricity if he needs to light up to get it to work. Or he was just trying to show off since he’s personally getting back at Kokichi for this actions here...or at least making sure he’ll see some consequences. Not that it matters, he just gets made fun of anyway...even if he tries to defend the tape being metal as a way to seem less unimpressive. 

K1-B0: We must run while we still can! Tenko: Wait! We need to take back our Kubs Pads first! Shuichi: Tenko snatched the Kubs Pads from Kokichi. Kokichi: Awwww... Shuichi: Then, we all ran out of the lab. After leaving the room, I could still hear the muffled buzzing and Kokichi screaming.

yup keebo leads the fleeing out and totally leaves him there to his fate. With audible screams. He might be nice but he’s got limits. and apparently being locked in a room for like two hours being swarmed with bugs is one of those limits! Though I think he’s still more bothered by the ‘using Gonta’ bit. After they get out Monodam takes the pads to return them...

Tsumugi: But out of all of them, we can probably trust that one, right? K1-B0: Shall we go back to our dorms? It is well past nighttime. Angie: Nyahahaha, that's true! We have the magic show tomorrow.

of course you’d think that Tsumugi. We trust the robotic one that kills it’s siblings. Though they are the ‘friendliest’ cub...it just makes me think of another robot who gets determined to kill all their friends for the greater good hm. Keebo just thinks all his human friends should get some sleep, but he’s probably wanting to go charge if that light show just gobbled a chunk of his battery. It must be one hell of a drain if he can go a week normally without worry... Which he somewhat confirms in the morning.

Shuichi: Ah, Keebo. Good morning. K1-B0: Good morning, Shuichi How are you feeling today? Are you still sore from the events of last night? Shuichi: Ah, I'm fine. Are *you* alright? K1-B0: Yes, I’m fine. I’ve recharged the electricity that I used on my recording function. Even so...I'm very happy that I was finally able to use my functions to help everyone! Shuichi: Keebo's recording function... It's not exactly revolutionary technology, but it did help a lot. Yes, thank you, Keebo. You really earned your title of Ultimate Robot. K1-B0: Oh, it was nothing, really. If you ever need my help for anything, please don't hesitate to ask. Shuichi: Ahaha... Yeah, I sure will. K1-B0: So...the magic show is starting soon, yes? Everyone has probably gathered in the gym already. We should get going as well.

Shuichi actually asks if Keebo’s alright! Actual concern instead of more dunking! Keebo asking if Shuichi is okay is not as much of a surprise, but it’s nice to see he admits he’s happy that he was able to be helpful. He wants to be useful. Goes and downplays how he helped in order to keep stressing how ‘please ask me if you need help I WANT TO HELP’ :v Then he’s off to go to the Magic show, which he probably isn’t super interested in but Everyone Should Be There, so he’s gonna go. Also, we learn from Angie that Keebo and Kaito were the designated equipment carriers from Himiko’s lab. I guess it wasn’t too heavy, or Kaito might have been doing the brunt of the lifting. Also, when you talk to Angie before the show...

Angie: Tenko, you’re trembling. I've told you many times that Atua loves all His creations. Tenko: What do you mean, all his creations!? That's way too much love! What about Monokuma, huh? Does Atua love him, too? Angie: Of course. So we must love Monokuma, so that our love will reach him. Tenko: Shaddup already! Robots can't feel love! They can't feel any emotions at all! K1-B0: And yet...I felt a strange pain in my chest after you just said that...

y u gotta do this Tenko, he’s RIGHT HERE. or at least apologize! But no, we’re just gonna let Keebo know his emotions he’s feeling aren’t real I guess. You two were getting on okay, so of course he’s upset...but this does also set up a little more that Keebo’s heard Angie say Atua accepts robots twice now.

K1-B0: This is quite a professional-looking set. However, considering how unsettled Himiko is...We might not get to witness for ourselves the skill of the Ultimate Magician. How unfortunate.

Well, he’s impressed by the work his friends did! And seems like he’s at least semi-interested in seeing Himiko’s talent in action, even if he knows it’s trickery, not magic. He’s always ready to be a supportive sort of friend and praise their efforts. not that he gets it back all that much. He does get caught up in the tension of the show and seems to worry a bit after Gonta runs up to the stage.

K1-B0: Um...Less than ten seconds remain...

Notably, he’s also one of the ones who looks to be mid movement after this line...(there’s a lot of CGs for this part, huh)

K1-B0: Look! The piranhas! Tenko: H-Hurry! The curtains! Open the curtains already!

Then Ryoma is shown to be very very dead. Due to how everyone who wasn’t at the show rushes in, there aren't as many reactions before...well.

Kokichi: Yeah, break it. It’ll take too long to drain it by hand. Shuichi: But what would we even use to break— Kokichi: Gonta! Kee-boy! You’re up! K1-B0: Huh? What do you mean, we're up? Kokichi: Gonta, throw Kee-boy as hard as you can! Use that robot like a battering ram! K1-B0: Who are you calling a battering ram!? Gonta: Gonta throw Keebo! Got it! Tenko: Then, I’ll help too! K1-B0: N-Now wait just a second. You don't need to team up now—

K1-B0: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

robot gets yeeted despite protests because guy no one likes says to. Why are all you guys so mean to this poor robot. You could have seriously hurt him! Good thing he’s waterproof, but he still got treated as a thing and probably got nasty blood water all over him >> Does anyone even say ‘sorry’? Or even thank you? NO. being keebo is suffering, like it’s pretty funny but MAN these kids are jerks to him.

K1-B0: I’ve...gathered Ryoma’s body and belongings...in one place... Shuichi: Keebo looks depressed... He *was* just used as a battering ram, so I understand why.

maybe apologize for what happened? or tell Kokichi off, or Gonta for listening and Tenko for just going along with it? no? ok sure we’ll just leave him staring listlessly after carrying the remains of his friend while soaked in his blood, why not. after all he doesn’t have feelings, apparently. 

Korekiyo: In any event...let us begin the investigation. K1-B0: Investigation... So it's really going to start again. Tsumugi: I can't believe it... One of us killed Ryoma...

yes you can tsumugi. Why are you always talking near keebs this chapter. Unsurprisingly, Keebo still doesn’t really like the idea of a class trial and what it means, but I suppose it gives him something to think about that isn’t how he has zero respect around here. Anyway, Maki says ‘nope, i’m out’

Miu: The fuck is that bitch's problem!? She's seriously not gonna investigate!? K1-B0: That seems...rather irresponsible. Korekiyo: She likely assumes someone else will take care of it...and I suppose she isn't wrong.  

Considering you all die if you’re wrong, irresponsible is certainly a word that works. He doesn’t do name calling or anything though, just points out the behavour. She’s busy trying to hide she’s an assassin, but it isn’t like the rest of the kids have too much time to worry about that. Keebo is probably a bit more shaken than he lets on though, he doesn’t confront or talk to Kokichi at all while he’s busy accusing Himiko, and usually he does!

Kirumi: To solve this mystery, we must first learn the trick behind Himiko’s Underwater Escape Act... K1-B0: We have no choice in the matter. Shuichi: He’s right...we have no choice. We have no choice but to find the culprit who killed Ryoma. This investigation is to save all of our lives...because we’re risking our lives in the class trial!

Behold as Kirumi tries to send both protags on a pointless wild goose chase! The underwater trick and how it works turns out to be completely irrelevant! Which of course, Kirumi knows and is banking on. :v She’s sneaky. Anyway, Kaito is Shuichi’s partner for this case...

K1-B0: Although there are many unknown variables, the first thing we need to make clear is...when was Ryoma murdered? Kaito: Well, in the middle of the show, obviously. The culprit knew how Himiko's trick worked and took advantage of it to kill Ryoma. In other words, everyone watching the show isn't suspicious. K1-B0: ...Kaito, you didn’t attend the show either, did you? Kaito: N-No, but I'm still not suspicious. I forgot a promise...so I was just eating breakfast. You got it!? I’m not suspicious! K1-B0: I do not understand how that explanation is supposed to convince me. Shuichi: Keebo does have a point...

Robot is right, ‘when’ the murder happened is one of the most important details of the case. So thankfully, he didn’t just immediately try and follow Kirumi’s ill motivated advice. Apparently if Kaito gets questioned by Keebo his brain just goes into shock. Kaito isn’t dumb but he has this weird habit of getting flustered with Keebo’s blunt questions. Maybe because he’s figured out Keebs wants some reasonable explanations! and he doesn’t really have one and just...tries to justify himself in a way Keebs is not impressed with at all. He doesn’t provide any other information, but that’s not a big shock. Considering he was both at the show and the meet and greet and had to recharge, he didn’t really have a chance to see anything of use for this case. this will be a trend.

Shuichi: The fragments of the broken glass water tank have been piled up. There are so many tiny pieces...Gonta and Tenko certainly didn't hold back when they threw Keebo at the glass.

More proof of robot abuse. but really Keebo doesn’t come up much in this investigation. Kirumi actually shows up a second time to distract Shuichi by giving the ‘clue’ that Gonta was the last to see Maki at 8PM. She really had plans to not get caught. We have no need to hear from our robot friend again until pre-trial time.

K1-B0: ...Is everyone ready? Gonta: Not like we have choice, right? Korekiyo: Kehehe... You are quick to understand. It's as though Monokuma has you trained.

Has all of you trained, Kiyo. But Keebo’s doing his protag job in asking the obvious question to prompt responses :v

K1-B0: I did not calculate that we would gather here under these circumstances again...What would Kaede say if she saw us right now...?

I suppose it is also your job to hope. Though it is a little sad that he’s worried about letting Kaede down. Most of the others are more concerned about the trial and the case surrounding it at the moment, but this is what he’s stuck on. Shame and disbelief. this robot understands empathy very well, okay.  Class trial time :v

Kirumi: But it does point to Himiko being the most suspicious. K1-B0: Ryoma died during Himiko's magic show. Korekiyo: His body appearing in the water tank leads one to think the escape trick played a part. It’s only natural we suspect Himiko. She was the one performing the trick.

oh look who’s the first person to agree Himiko is suspect after Kokichi/Angie point to her. Keebo is just outright wrong here! This is why he is not the detective :v Somewhere along the way he’s decided ‘during the show’ was the time of death, whoops. This is also a bit weird becauseeee after the nonstop debate about the cause of death...

Angie: Ryoma drowned, Himiko changed places with him, and then the piranhas ate him. Right? K1-B0: No, Himiko only had 60 seconds to escape from the tank...Even if they changed places at the start of the show, that's insufficient time to drown someone. Kirumi: If that is the case, then when did he drown?

watch out the robot knows how long it takes to drown a man. But this is why his other comment is weird...he knows Ryoma couldn’t have drowned during the show? I suppose he didn’t know the cause of death...but it’s in the monofile...throwaway line you aren't meant to think about too hard but dang it

Korekiyo: Yes... By that point, he had already joined the ranks of the dead. K1-B0: Could that mean his body was hidden until the culprit made it appear in the tank? Gonta: Hidden...where? Kirumi: The culprit would have had to hide the body near the tank, and then show it during the act.

He gets back on the right track after Shuichi points out Ryoma had to die before the show. I super didn’t notice this the first time I played, but Kirumi is always here to make the correct idea seem unlikely and try and steer conversation away from it! and of course kokichi helps her derail it back to explaining the trick.

K1-B0: How did Himiko escape the water tank? Angie: Maybe she just climbed out and no one noticed.

So Keebo kicks off the non-stop debate about the water tank :v Because asking a question is his favourite thing to do, and he just tried suggesting the body could be hidden, so he’s filled his doing things quota.

Shuichi: The staircase also has an escape hatch, one facing away from us. It’s placed so that the water would not drain from the staircase. K1-B0: In which case, a person could exit and leave water inside the staircase. Shuichi: However, that person would be soaked, meaning that *some* trace should be left...That would explain why there was a puddle around the stairs...

Rephrase for the audience and give Shuichi a gap before he has to launch into another explanation. He’s quick to pick up the logic, but he doesn’t really need to apply it since Shuichi usually does that part too :v

Shuichi: ...It's because she changed her uniform. K1-B0: The dormitory is stocked with uniforms. Did you hide one behind the stage in advance? Himiko: Nyeh... Nyeeeh! Angie: I remember seeing Himiko go to the gym this morning, carrying a uniform and a towel.

He does get to do it here though! V3 is nice in letting the other characters also confirm things without Shuichi’s handholding, but he will still be doing the bulk of it, obviously :v keebs can be smart.

Miu: So Himiko went in the stairs with the body!? What kinda kinky shit is she into!? K1-B0: That seems unlikely. There isn't enough space for two people to fit in there. Tsumugi: Yeah, the stairs are pretty cramped. It'd be hard to fit even Ryoma and Himiko in there.

Keebo makes a point, Tsumugi takes the chance to reiterate it to be ‘helping’ by doing very little :v Angie argues for a switcheroo which leads to the next debate, Shuichi refutes it, leading to

Korekiyo: She had no need to worry about us witnessing her at that point. For the entire stage was hidden behind a curtain. To all but Gonta, anyway. K1-B0: Then the culprit never would have considered hiding inside the staircase with the body.Entering the staircase *after* moving the body is much faster, and seems more rational too! Tsumugi: Then...Ryoma’s body wasn’t hidden in the stairs?

He’s back again to confirm his earlier point was correct! With extra logic on his side thanks to Gonta going where he wasn’t meant to. and yes mugi that is what he just said please pay attention. He’ll keep defending it too, such as in the debate afterwards.

Tsumugi: It wasn't really in the stairs, was it? K1-B0: After all, there was only enough space for Himiko.

Shuichi’s busy agreeing with Korikiyo here since he actually goes into what another option might be other than reiterating it’s not the stairs. Trial goes on, Miu correctly accuses Kirumi but of course, it’s too early and baseless so we need to argue with her.

Gonta: I-Is too soon to tell. We should hear what everyone has to say, right? Miu: Fuck that noise! K1-B0: But, Miu, you don't have an alibi for when the crime occurred either, do you? Miu: Y-You think I’m suspicious? I...don’t even know where the gym is.

oh Miu. Robot is always glad to point out relatively simple contradictions like this and get people flustered. Not one to accuse though, since he might simply not know something...

Tenko: Anyway, among those four, the culprit must be the one who doesn't have an alibi! K1-B0: ...I apologize but given the circumstances, we have no choice but to suspect you. Tenko: Suspect who!? Who’s the culprit!?

Even though he says sorry, this triggers a mass panic debate :v Though it’s the logical thing to do, he can occasionally figure out putting people on the spot for murder can be uncomfortable and apologize for it. This is a friendly robot who is way nicer than most people are to him gdi. Miu, Kaito and Kirumi squabble it out. Keebs ends up being in TWO conversations :v

Miu: I have an alibi! K1-B0: What is your alibi? Miu: When I was running from Gonta...Things got a little...heated if ya catch my drift.

He caught it, and apparently had no interest in following up, as that segment switches to Angie asking after Maki’s alibi. Keebo decides to poke at Kirumi’s alibi instead. which is the weak point for this debate. All business today it seems!

Kirumi: That was five minutes before 9:00 p.m. K1-B0: Did you really leave the gym at 9:00 p.m.? Are you sure you did not stay at the gym?

Of course the bullet that breaks it is Kokichi’s account. Because Kokichi and Keebo get on like a house on fire :v which of course means it’s time for the two to squabble again.

Kirumi: This information could have been told to us beforehand. Kokichi: Sorry! Forgot! I definitely didn’t keep it a secret to make the trial more interesting! K1-B0: Forgot...? It seems far more plausible that you were telling another lie. Kokichi: Unlike robots, we meatbags can't pull out our memories from our hard drive. K1-B0: Was that supposed to offend me? Your irrationality fills me with pity...

Of course, the alibi ends up being worthless since the time of the crime isn’t what the kids think it is. (Later it’ll damn Kirumi but right now? not so much.) It makes Kirumi look like less of a suspect so it’s actively harmful, whoops :v So were you ‘forgetting’ because it won’t help solve the case yet...or just having fun. Either way, Keebo shows that he really needs to install a sarcasm detector, that was REALLY blatant. But sassy robot returns, he goes from angry to eye rolling once he realizes it’s more of a backhanded complement than an insult. ‘Why yes my memory IS better than yours, annoying purple meatbag’. Too bad it ultimately leads to Kirumi being off the hook so Kokichi can get his ‘make Maki and Kaito fightfightfight’ game on but I like this interaction. He gets to feel proud of himself a little :v He keeps this attitude for a bit, considering...

K1-B0: Most of that was unintelligible nonsense, but it would seem that Miu has an actual alibi. Kokichi: Yup. It took a while, but at least we got everyone's alibis cleared up...We should remember all of this, in case we need to recall these events again.

oh no they’re AGREEING. someone check hell it’s probably freezing over. But lookit that swipe at Miu. They really don’t start off on the right foot at all! We get the everyone’s alibi bullet which still ultimately means nothing(for now)...and Kokichi gets the fight ball rolling with a...surprising assist from Keebo?

Kokichi: If one of them is the culprit, then the innocent one should know who the guilty one is. Yeah? Because if you know you're not the culprit, then you can just accuse the other person. K1-B0: Yes, that is true. Kokichi: Which means, there is one person among us who definitely knows who the culprit is! To that someone who knows... Do your best to convince us! Work harder!

He’s still eye rolling here, but offers his agreement. which yes, it is true...if either of the accused is the culprit. Which they aren’t. Keebo doesn’t know this, obviously but it’s still weird to see them ‘working together’, but this happens more often the further we go. Mostly because Keebo will follow anything with a solid/logical backing. Kokichi might be a liar, but he generally has a solid bit of evidence or logic to springboard off of. (even when taking us in the WRONG DIRECTION. if you wanted to pressure maki we could have done this in a way easier way you little gremlin). So really, these two will team up more often than Keebo would with say...Kaito, who prompts his next line.

Kaito: Hmph... You don't get it. This isn't just any hunch...This is an official hunch from *the* Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars! Tsumugi: Wh-What...? K1-B0: How illogical... This is even more difficult to comprehend than Kokichi's antics. Kokichi: You're totally not serious! You can't be *that* stupid, right?

Yup. Kaito is more confusing than Kokichi. Kaito is basing Maki’s innocence on nothing but what he feels, which people can sort of get. We all have ‘hunches’, the backs of our brains picking up on little things that we might not actively be paying attention to, and he’s got a lot of belief and trust to give. We can get it, some people you just want to trust! Keebo doesn’t get it. Error, no input found, please give me a provable, actual reason for that hunch. I kind of think he doesn’t even get hunches himself. He can clearly worry, or have concern, but he might lack those sort of gut feelings on if you can trust something or not. After all, he can actively search through his own ‘brain’ and explain why he feels a certain way, he doesn’t need to just ‘have a feeling’. Kokichi following Keebo up here to slap an insult on an honest statement of ‘i have no goddamned idea what you’re on about’ is just expected :v

Kirumi: So...you do not have any evidence. K1-B0: Only baseless conjecture. Tenko: B-But...I totally get where he's coming from! Cuz I wanna believe in Himiko too!

Kaito’s inspiring speech broke zero ground in the ‘make the everyone understand’ attempt. Whoops. So Keebo’s backing up the murderer pointing out the lack of proof. As it is baseless conjecture. You need a fact, or at least a lie presented as fact to get him to understand what you’re driving at. This is honestly interesting, considering he’s ‘hope’ motivated later on. There’s nothing logical about a meaningless hope! So it feels less like him and more his...helpful voice telling him to ignore logic... Maki fesses up to say she saw Ryoma at nighttime

K1-B0: So Ryoma was still alive at nighttime!? Tenko: I thought the crime took place between 8 and 10 o'clock at night?

He’s not on board yet, but he’s listening! Even though if true, haha we spent all that time talking about stuff that doesn’t matter.

Miu: Quit fuckin' around! You think I'm dumb enough to swallow that line of crap!? Kirumi: Yes, this seems too convenient. K1-B0: But why did Maki wait until now to mention that? Kokichi: Ah-hahahaha! It’s totally obvious! Maki’s sooo desperate that she has to lie!

oh hi kirumi no big surprise you simply go ‘no it is garbage’. Keebo’s the one to offer a way out by asking why exactly she didn’t mention it until now, he’s not instantly saying it’s out of the question. Kokichi follows up to try and press that it’s a lie, answering his question. Which probably just tells him that he should keep listening, since Kokichi lies so much :v

Kirumi: Does this mean you an Ryoma recived one another’s motive video? Maki: Maybe... I actually didn't check the one I got, so I wouldn't know. K1-B0: Maki admitted earlier that she hadn't checked her Kubs Pad. Angie: Then why did Ryoma think that Maki had his motive video? Kaito: If he went around asking at random, he might've asked some people besides Maki. Miu: He never asked me! He probably never asked you guys either, right!? K1-B0: Then...who was it that told Ryoma about his Kubs Pad?

Flexing that good memory, and giving Maki a little backup. After all, Keebo’s an expert in what it feels like to get dismissed :v He them prompts Shuichi to Do His Thing in calling Kokichi out as the one who told Ryoma. (Though he doesn't actually get to make him answer before they get derailed again) Though even though he’s willing to listen and belive she possibly did see Ryoma...he’s still not too thrilled about Maki’s choice to keep it secret.

Korekiyo: *If* that story is true... Maki: ...It's true. K1-B0: Then why did you wait until now to bring that up? Maki: I didn’t say anything until now because I wasn’t in the mood to be suspected.

He’s pointing and everything. He’ll believe you but darn it explain. He wants to understandddd. But still, no name calling or excessive rudeness, because he is a good lad who doesn’t threaten or do such things. She explains not wanting to be suspected buuuut

Kaito: Well, whatever. Either way, let's just believe Maki. Angie: Yes, yes. Those who believe shall be saved. K1-B0: No, we need to wait. There is still more to confirm— Shuichi: Well then, why don’t we ask Kokichi?

couldn’t you wait for him to finish the goddamned sentence Shuichi. Still, Keebo’s not a hasty one, the second Kaito wants to just go ‘good enough’ robot is right back to WAIT NO THAT’S NOT LOGICAL. It does get Kokichi to properly admit he knows who had who’s pads though. More squabbling about believing Maki ensues...

Korekiyo: I find Maki's testimony suspicious. It's far too...convenient for her. K1-B0: This is...difficult to determine. Kokichi: Maki is lying! Like I said before, a liar like me knows their own kind!

Are you trying to convince Keebo, Kokichi? You keep reiterating your point right after he speaks. Keebo is basically admitting he’s completely undecided and not taking a stand either way, but he’s usually pretty wishy-washy...because having an opinion involves what he thinks. and he doesn’t like admitting what he’s thinking very much. Certainly not if he doesn’t have a fact to back him up. Shuichi lies in the following debate. keebo will basically always follow shuichi, he’s the ultimate detective. Though hearing everyone else agree/trust him first probably lets him consider it true more easily. (and kokichi just nudging shuichi he saw that lie but not doing anything about it...)

Himiko: So we're right back where we started... What a pain. K1-B0: However, it should be clear now that the crime occurred after nighttime began. Kirumi:  But then when was Ryoma's body placed inside the piranha tank?

Maki’s testimony + Kokichi’s admitting of telling Ryoma Maki had his kubspad + Shuichi’s lie about overhearing= enough to set this as ‘the truth’ for Keebo. It is true, but here comes Kirumi to instantly derail them to the wrong detail first. When doesn’t really matter right now!

Miu: So did we fuck up by thinkin’ the body got stuffed into the piranha tank? K1-B0: I don't think so. We have evidence to prove that's what happened. Tenko: Then when did the culprit throw the body into the piranha tank?

There is evidence, and even then he’s saying ‘think’. he’s so hesitant to speak in absolutes right now. As he might be wrong :v The whole Maki debacle was confusing for him. But now Tenko is repeating the question Kirumi posed and we go on a merry goose chase and have a scrum debate about it. Keebo’s on Shuichi’s side again. (He always will be, with one exception.) He doesn’t actually have a line though! He just gets to shout THIS IS OUR ANSWER with everyone.

K1-B0: That means it was certainly possible to put the body in the piranha tank from the window... Shuichi: However, I’m also positive the pane dividing the piranha tank was set up beforehand. Korekiyo: That certainly couldn't be tossed in. It would need to be placed carefully. Kirumi: Even if the culprit were to throw the body from outside the window...The window is far too high. It cannot be reached from the floor.

protag explaining tag team. Shuichi speaks more confidently in trials, saying things like ‘he’s confident’ while Keebo is hovering around with ‘possible’. You think our detective is an anxious mess half the time? so’s the robot :v oh and Kirumi is once again pointing out ‘problems’ to try and get the line of thought dropped. It works, considering we start going on about the ladder and whatnot and slam headlong into a logic wall until Maki says ‘okay no, time to talk about Where Die, not how get in fish tank’. You knew too Kokichi don’t you ‘ Why didn't anyone realize this yet?’ me :v

Shuichi: That’s important to remember...it’s not as if everyone here *wants* us to find the truth. One of us is trying to sabotage this trial... K1-B0: Well then, let's discuss the crime scene to figure out who the culprit is. Himiko: That's not a bad idea for a robot. The last time I heard such a good idea was......when Nino told me to move in with her under the bridge to get out of the cold. Tenko: Himikawa Under the Bridge!?

it’s a Arakawa Under the Bridge reference :v Honestly there’s tons of references in the game in general and we can totally blame Tsumugi for them. Keebs is glad to be the one to agree to a new topic though. Then he doesn’t have to state an opinion and can just fish for everyone else’s thoughts! He doesn’t even react to the ‘for a robot’ crack at him. :c Though for good reason I suppose when no one takes you seriously and judges you on a dime. Next nonstop debate to establish the crime scene...

Angie: Wasn't it the dorm room? Ryoma was relaxing in his room when he got attacked. K1-B0: But the cause of death was drowning. There is nothing in his room that could collect enough water.

Refuting Angie’s idea with a pointless weak point. I DO think the white noise that goes across when Miu goes ‘S-S-Sow’ might be Keebo though. ‘This is difficult to watch’ does match his general speaking style, and probable opinion :v

Angie: Hmmm...How did those handcuffs get from the lab to the water tank? Maki: Because Ryoma was wearing them, right? K1-B0: Yes, though they were only visible for a brief moment when Ryoma appeared in the tank. I am certain he was wearing the handcuffs at the time. Kirumi: The handcuffs were left after the piranhas devoured Ryoma

He did it, he said he was certain about something! Good job. Considering perfect memory and the horror that was that moment it was probably very easy to recall. oh dear keebo has perfect memories of all his friends corpses. that can’t be fun. oh and the fun of being THROWN AT THE REMAINS. Kirumi ‘helps’ with the easy logic of handcuffs didn’t get eaten. :v Now we’re working with the angle of body movement now that we know it came from Ryoma’s ultimate lab. Tenko suggests just tossing the body from the pool area...

Kirumi: Your explanation contradicts some things we discussed earlier. The gym window was too high to reach from the pool side, even if one used the ladder. Tenko: That’s right! I apologize! I must go on a journey to reflect on this! K1-B0: We keep hitting dead ends, since we don't know how the body was thrown into the gym... Kokichi: Nee-heehee... Well, that didn't really give us any info about the crime.

So of course the murderer tries to make it sound impossible, since we’re getting a bit too close to the truth! Keebo’s frustrated at this point, he’s eye rolling again with no leads to how it was actually done. He hasn’t considered the new approaches that could be possible now that they know where everything started. Kokichi ‘agreeing’ with him should be a tip off though :v shuichi goes and drives a brain taxi and raises the rope possibility.

Kirumi: Is the rope long enough to reach both windows? Korekiyo: The rope is roughly 65 feet in length. As for the distance between the windows... K1-B0: According to the sign at the pool, the width of the pool is roughly 35 feet...and the distance from the edges of the pool to the windows is an additional 16 feet. Altogether, the sum total length from one window to the other is roughly 50 feet. Gonta: And pool is only thing between research lab and gym windows... Miu: You bet it’s long enough! Heh! That’s what she said!

Chatty when he can do something easy like math! Numbers make sense and don’t confuse him with believing and who is working against them. Miu does basically sum up what Keebo took a paragraph to say tho. Since he needs to show his work. he likes having proof, and assumes everyone else likes knowing how he got the answer too. oh and reminder gonta is still plenty smart, he points out how to do the rope trick here. Then we talk about the zipline-i mean ropeway.

Korekiyo: You say the culprit placed their foot on the windowsill? Isn't that against school rules? It would count as entering the gym, would it not? Monosuke: Last time we got asked that question, we decided it was okay. Stickin' your body through the window is an automatic out, but standing on the sill is— K1-B0: Wait, who asked you last time? Monosuke: ...Eh? K1-B0: It is quite possible that the culprit went to you to confirm the details of their plan... Monosuke: ... ...O-Oh shiiiiit!

He does know how to press on something suspicious! Not too surprising he’s the one to confront a Kub, he even cut him off to do this. Keebo seems to put more stock in what the Monokubs say or do at any given time anyway. Of course, he won’t answer, but it isn’t really necessary. Just confirming someone asked was enough, which that freakout accomplished. Kirumi tries to sidetrack again with the ‘multiple trips’ thing...

Korekiyo: Which is why the crime was committed during nighttime, while we all slumbered. K1-B0: But if the culprit was so careful to recover the rope they used to commit the crime...Why did they leave the inner tube in the pool? Shuichi: I believe that was an accident.

He really, really loves questioning things. This part doesn’t make sense, better ask about it, and hurrah, my detective has an answer ready to go. He might not contribute much himself, but he does provide setup :v Shuichi announces Kirumi as his top suspect...

Korekiyo: That is not yet a certainty. Let us hear her testimony first. K1-B0: Is this true, Kirumi? Kirumi: I cannot believe you would suspect me...If that is the case, then I will have to deny it. I will not let you make the wrong choice.

question.exe is always running. i swear. Still, never just taking it right away, he wants to hear an answer. Snap judgements are not his thing. Even if he does lean towards believing Shuichi. because he has secret protag sensing powers. Trial 2 is such a change from one with how hard Kirumi fights here. since kaede did not want to kill everyone :v Keebs says quiet until he’s heard enough proof to throw his support behind Shuichi again

Shuichi: Just tying the rope to the frame wouldn't cause so much damage. The rope that was tied to the frames must have been weighed down significantly. The frames didn't break, but they were left with distinct marks. K1-B0: Those scratches are proof that you used a rope to carry the body to the windowsill. Kirumi: ... Kokichi: Oh? What’s wrong, Kirumi? What’s wrong, what’s wrong!? Hey, what’s wrong? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!?

Pictured: two very different confrontation styles. I suppose it makes sense Keebo would be knowledgeable about scratches on metal :v He’ll just state some proof that goes with Shuichi’s statement, while Kokichi attempts to annoy her into submission instead. Shuichi brings up the black fabric/the ‘everyone’ thing and Kirumi slips.

Kirumi: Y-Yeah, so what? You’re still wrong! Your logic is flawed!!! K1-B0: Kirumi...why are you becoming increasingly erratic? Korekiyo: Kehehe... There is such absolute beauty in trying to fight against the truth.

:c He’s confused again. Yelling out questioning perfectly good logic is strange for her, emotionally charged, and he hasn’t really figured out guilt and panic makes people act out strangely. He knows the feelings exist, but not the full extent they can go to. and really it can’t be fun to watch someone so collected start falling apart because they murdered another one of your friends and is going to die for it...

Shuichi: The extra uniforms in our rooms are made of the same material we're wearing now. We can test my theory by comparing the fabric scrap with your glove. Kirumi: Gh...grgh... K1-B0: ...Well, Kirumi? Will you allow us to compare the black fabric we found in the pool with your gloves? Kirumi: U-Uhhh...!

‘will you allow us to damn you’. Keebo, you sound like you’re mocking her if you ask now. but he probably doesn’t quite realize that. comic, kirumi spite votes shuichi...

Tenko: Th-There’s nothing good about this at all...! *sob, sniffle...* Wh-why did it have to be Kirumi...? K1-B0: Truly, this result was unexpected. Tsumugi: How can you be so calm about it...?

This time, the culprit actively tried to get away with it. He might not really know how to feel about the whole thing. Kaede was apologizing, while Kirumi was fighting the whole way (and will keep doing so). He probably would have said this about anyone though...suspecting friends isn’t something he likes to do. and you made him this way moogie shush. 

Tsumugi: You mean like from the motive video? So Kirumi watched hers after all? K1-B0: Earlier, Kirumi mentioned that she had accepted a request...Perhaps that request came from a someone important in her motive video? Kirumi: ... Maki: ...Do you have nothing to say for yourself?

Going to ask more questions to try and understand, as per usual. Kirumi does use this as a chance to try and get away again mhm. Keebo isn’t using any of his distressed sprites here either. He might be coming off as a bit heartless at the moment, poking at ‘why did you kill’ and not even looking shaken. so guess who mentions that after Kirumi drops the ‘prime minister’ bit.

Kokichi:  I don't think it's odd that an Ultimate-level talent could be *that* powerful. I mean, Kee-boy’s talent lets him pretend to be human, even though he’s a heartless robot. K1-B0: How rude! I am not pretending! I am still learning! Tsumugi: U-Uh...I see. Well...good luck, I guess.

Yes, this gets the biggest reaction out of him. That’s normal and easy to understand over ‘how do we feel about this.’ While Tsumugi mocks his attempts to learn because she’s terrible :v and Kokichi is almost another backhanded complement? ‘Pretend to be human’, so you do buy his ‘pretending’ and how he seems very human? even though you keep calling him heartless and emotionless...and getting him thrown at things...

Monokuma: I am the ruler of this world. Nothing is beyond my power. Shuichi: Nothing is beyond your power? What kind of arrogant, ridiculous— K1-B0: That is 100% a lie! It is impossible that he could bring disaster to a country! Monokuma: Puhu... Puhuhuhu

Keebo feels the need to cut Shuichi off here! To back him up, but I wonder if his inner voice was telling him he had to deny that claim. He’s throwing out impossible and 100%, certainties...while Monokuma is mugging for the audience. as he basically is a god in their fake little world. It would explain how he’s changed his mind by the next line...

Tsumugi: Kirumi's got the lives of hundreds of millions of people on her shoulders, right? K1-B0: Logically, Kirumi’s survival would result in fewer casualties than our collective survival would. Himiko: Geez... Maybe it would've been better if we'd gotten the culprit wrong...

He seems to believe it now. Not enough to say anything definitive, but he will say it’s ‘logical’. even though you can’t really assume that. Who knows what the collective rest could do for people? No one :v

Kokichi: Do you really think someone as desperate to live as Kirumi would give up so easily? Of course not. In fact, she probably still hasn't given up, even now. She was hoping that learning the truth would make one of us volunteer to die in her place. K1-B0: ...What!? Kirumi: ... Kokichi: But Monokuma would never allow a blackened to escape punishment, so maybe......she wanted everyone to rebel, so she could use that as cover to escape on her own. ...How about it, Kirumi? Am I close?

This shakes him. Lying over something so important is almost unbelievable. After all, he couldn’t see why someone would lie on someone else’s behalf with their life on the line in trial one. Not really a shock he doesn't consider the opposite being possible too. Keebo doesn’t really...lie. Basically ever. The closest he ever gets is a flustered non answer that is technically a lie in a back route. He still cheers her on when she makes a break for it though.

K1-B0: Run! Please hurry!

He doesn’t really react to the death, he’s prompted to speak by Angie.

Angie: ...Oh? Isn't that what Atua said? All desire, even your desire to escape this place, can corrupt you beyond redemption. K1-B0: It's Monokuma who is corrupt. He is the one who distributed the motive videos. Korekiyo: Those videos were more dangerous than we thought. To have driven Kirumi that far...

He’d still rather blame the obvious antagonist over the people he calls friends. Clashing with Angie here doesn’t stop him from getting roped in later...hhm.

Shuichi: That must be why Kirumi did not want to show the videos. She thought that if everyone felt the same murderous rage that she did...this killing game would be pure chaos. She...wanted to stop it. Kokichi: If that's the case, then we really shouldn't show our videos to each other! K1-B0: That was our consensus from the beginning. Not including you, of course.

Shuichi gives a pretty kind interpretation of her actions, and Kokichi earns some robot sass for his actions. Kokichi likely had his own video and was not driven to any such murder...figured out his own plan might actually be bad too little too late.

K1-B0: For now...we should rest. To me, that seems the most rational course of action.

keebo wants to be morgana. GO TO BED. While you just...sit around awake all night long and think about what happened, I guess. Of course, we won’t do that because we have another reveal to do first.

Kokichi: Maki admitted it during the class trial, remember? Ryoma wanted her to show him his motive video cuz he was looking for a reason to live. But that wasn’t the whole story... Ryoma was blackmailing you, wasn’t he, Maki? K1-B0: B-Blackmail? Ryoma just so happened to discover Maki's true identity. So he used that to blackmail her. I bet he said something like... “If you don’t show me my motive video, I’ll tell everyone what you really are.”  That's why Maki didn't want us to know she met with Ryoma. She wanted to keep her true identity a secret! That’s why she kept quiet until the last minute!

That’s the last thing he does, enables Kokichi by asking for clarification :v Hope you liked to see Keebo do things, as the ‘trio’ forms up he has fewer chances to show up. He’s still got a few in 3, but in 4 and 5 he’s fairly sidelined. Well he TALKS a lot, but mostly just his normal questions :v

hahaha this took way to long why am i like this. when am i going to cover his gifting dialouge. who knows. aaaaaaaaaaa. feel free to yell at me about the robitt. or any of the characters :v Chapter 3 will come sooner than I expect I assume...

[tinyshe]

Story at-a-glance

Technocracy is not based on common pricing mechanisms such as supply and demand or free commerce. Instead, the economy of technocracy is based on energy resources, which then dictates the types of products being produced, bought, sold and consumed

Technocracy, the brainchild of which were scientists and engineers, requires social engineering to keep the system working; hence the need for massive data mining and surveillance

Many of the terms we’ve heard more and more of in recent years refer to technocracy under a different name. Examples include sustainable development, Agenda 21, the 2030 Agenda, the New Urban Agenda, green economy, the green new deal and the global warming movement in general. The Paris Climate Agreement is also part and parcel of the technocratic agenda

Other terms that are synonymous with technocracy include the Great Reset, the Fourth Industrial Revolution and Build Back Better

The common goal of all these movements is to capture all the world’s resources for a small global elite that have the know-how to program the computer systems that will come to dictate the lives of everyone. It’s the ultimate form of totalitarianism and the absolute destruction of personal freedom and privacy

In the video  above [go here], James Delingpole interviews Patrick Wood, an economist,  financial analyst and American constitutionalist who has devoted a lifetime to  researching and understanding technocracy — a resource-based economic system created   from scratch that really has no equal in terms of what the average person has  any understanding of.

Wood has written two fascinating books on this topic: “Technocracy  Rising: The Trojan Horse of Global Transformation”1 and “Technocracy: The Hard Road to World Order.”2

As explained by Wood, this new  economic system — which is not a natural one — is not based on common pricing  mechanisms such as supply and demand or free commerce. Instead, the economy of technocracy  is based on energy resources, which then dictates the types of products being  produced, bought, sold and consumed. In essence, energy replaces the concept of  money as a commodity.

That’s strange enough, but it gets stranger still. Technocracy, which emerged  in the 1930s during the height of the Great Depression, the brainchild of which  were scientists and engineers, also requires social engineering to keep the  system working.

Sustainable Development intends to take control  of all resources, all production and all consumption on planet earth, leaving  all of its inhabitants to be micro-managed by a scientific dictatorship. ~  Patrick Wood

If people are allowed to do what  they want, consumer demand ultimately drives commerce, but that won’t work  here. Instead, consumers need to be directed, herded if you will, to consume  that which the system needs them to consume, and in order for that to happen,  they need to be more or less brainwashed. As a result, the technocratic system  requires extensive surveillance and artificial intelligence-driven technologies  to keep everyone in check.

Technocracy Is Not a  Political System

What’s more, technocracy seeks to  eliminate elected officials and government as a whole. They have no place in  this system which, when fully implemented, would run itself more or less  automatically, with input at the top by the technological masterminds. There’s  also no room for nations or nationalism that might influence behavior.

As noted by Wood, Aldous Huxley’s dystopian novel “Brave  New World” offers a compelling glimpse into technocracy. There’s no political   system. It’s all run by engineers and scientists, and the algorithms they  create. As noted in the description for “Technocracy: The Hard Road to World Order:”3

As a resource-based economic system, Sustainable  Development intends to take control of all resources, all production and all   consumption on planet earth, leaving all of its inhabitants to be micro-managed  by a Scientific Dictatorship.

While  the technocratic plan has been underway for decades, things have been rolled  out in rapid succession this year. If you’ve formed the impression that we’re  all suffering from some sort of “boiled frog” syndrome, you’d probably be  right.

Self-evident  rights have been stripped from us and people have more or less grown to accept  situations that would have been unthinkable a year ago. We’ve been told to work  from home and avoid going anywhere. Our businesses have been shuttered “to  protect public health.”

We’ve  been told to wear face coverings even while outdoors, while eating and in our  own homes. We’re now told we’ll have to have vaccine  passports if we want to get on a flight in the future, and world leaders  are openly talking about the  Great Reset.

Now,  the central banks were obviously part of this plan too, from the very  beginning. The central bank system is crashing as we speak, having reached the  end of its functional life as the global debt burden exceeds countries’ ability  to pay the interest, but the reset they’re talking about is not another central  bank system.

It  will be centralized, yes, but again, the very basis of the global economy will  shift away from the commodity of money to the commodity of energy. In the  interview, Wood explains how the technocratic elite, members of the Trilateral  Commission in particular, have influenced and manipulated economic regulations  to ensure their success.

Sustainable Development,  Agenda 21 — It’s All Technocracy

As explained by Wood, many of the terms we’ve heard more and more of in recent  years refer to technocracy under a different name. Examples include sustainable  development, Agenda 21, the 2030 Agenda, the New Urban Agenda, green economy,  the green new deal and the global warming movement in general.

They all refer to and are part of technocracy and  resource-based economics. Other terms that are synonymous with technocracy  include the Great Reset,4 the Fourth Industrial Revolution5 and the slogan Build Back Better.6 The Paris Climate Agreement is also part and parcel of the technocratic agenda.

The common goal of all these movements and agendas is to capture all of the resources of the world — the ownership of them — for a small global  elite group that has  the know-how to program the computer systems that will ultimately dictate the  lives of everyone. It’s really the ultimate form of  totalitarianism.

When  they talk about “wealth redistribution,” what they’re really referring to, Wood  notes, is the redistribution of resources from us to them. My previous article, “The  Global Takeover Is Underway,” features a video by the World  Economic Forum where they straight up say that by 2030, you will own nothing.  Everything you need you will rent.

Technocracy 2030 — A Glimpse  Into the Future

A glimpse  into this future was also offered in a November 2016 Forbes article written by  an unnamed person from the World Economic Forum Leadership Strategy team. It  reads, in part:7

“Welcome to the year 2030. Welcome to my city — or should I say,  "our city." I don't own anything. I don't own a car. I don't own a  house. I don't own any appliances or any clothes.

It  might seem odd to you, but it makes perfect sense for us in this city.  Everything you considered a product, has now become a service. We have access  to transportation, accommodation, food and all the things we need in our daily  lives …

In our  city we don't pay any rent, because someone else is using our free space  whenever we do not need it. My living room is used for business meetings when I  am not there.

Once in  a while, I will choose to cook for myself. It is easy — the necessary kitchen  equipment is delivered at my door within minutes … Shopping? I can't really remember what that is. For most of   us, it has been turned into choosing things to use. Sometimes I find this fun,  and sometimes I just want the algorithm to do it for me. It knows my taste  better than I do by now …

The concept of rush hour  makes no sense anymore, since the work that we do can be done at any time. I  don't really know if I would call it work anymore. It is more like  thinking-time, creation-time and development-time …

My  biggest concern is all the people who do not live in our city. Those we lost on  the way. Those who decided that it became too much, all this technology. Those  who felt obsolete and useless when robots and AI took over big parts of our  jobs.

Those  who got upset with the political system and turned against it. They live  different kind of lives outside of the city. Some have formed little  self-supplying communities. Others just stayed in the empty and abandoned  houses in small 19th century villages.

Once in  a while I get annoyed about the fact that I have no real privacy. Nowhere I can  go and not be registered. I know that, somewhere, everything I do, think and  dream of is recorded. I just hope that nobody will use it against me. All in  all, it is a good life.”

However, if you rent everything and have no  private property of your own, then who does  own all of those things? The technocratic elite that owns  all the energy resources does. Disturbingly enough, one form of energy resource  that modern technocrats apparently intend to harvest, if patents are any  indication, is the human body.

Human Body Activity as an  Energy Resource

Microsoft’s  international patent8 WO/2020/060606 describes a “cryptocurrency system using body activity data.”  The international patent was filed June 20, 2019. The U.S. patent office  application,9 16128518, was filed September 21, 2018. As explained in the abstract:10

“Human body activity associated with a task  provided to a user may be used in a mining process of a cryptocurrency system.  A server may provide a task to a device of a user which is communicatively   coupled to the server. A sensor communicatively coupled to or comprised in the  device of the user may sense body activity of the user.

Body activity data may be generated based on  the sensed body activity of the user. The cryptocurrency system communicatively  coupled to the device of the user may verify if the body activity data satisfies  one or more conditions set by the cryptocurrency system, and award  cryptocurrency to the user whose body activity data is verified.”

The  U.S. patent application includes the following flow chart summary of the  process.11 This patent, if implemented, would  essentially turn human beings into robots. If you’ve ever wondered how the  average person will make a living in the AI tech-driven cashless world of the  future, this may be part of your answer.

People  will be brought down to the level of mindless drones, spending their days  carrying out tasks automatically handed out by, say a cellphone app, in return  for a cryptocurrency “award.” This kind of merging of digital and biological  systems is ultimately what “the Fourth Industrial  Revolution” is all about.

Who Are the Technocrats?

While technocracy used to be an  actual private club, the technocrats of today do not necessarily have membership  cards, so it can be difficult to correctly identify them all. Key players,  however, are the members of the Trilateral Commission, Wood says.

You cannot simply join the  Trilateral Commission. They select their own members, and it’s by invitation  only. A list of the members as of 2020 can be found on FredDonaldson.com.12 Well-known names in the U.S. Trilateral group include David Rockefeller, Henry  Kissinger, Michael Bloomberg and Google heavyweights Eric Schmidt and Susan  Molinari, vice president for public policy at Google.

Recognizing the necessity of the media, there’s also David Ignatius, a  columnist for The Washington Post; David Sanger, chief Washington correspondent  for The New York Times; and Gerald Seib, executive editor at The Wall Street  Journal.

It’s an interesting list of  individuals that can be worth reviewing to get an idea of where, how and  through whom technocracy is gaining ground and being implemented. Other groups  to look at include:

The Club of Rome

The Aspen Institute, which has  groomed and mentored executives from around the world about the subtleties of  globalization. Many of its board members are also members of the Trilateral  Commission

The Atlantic Institute

The World Economic Forum

The Brookings Institute and other  think-tanks

Certain individuals can also be  identified by their actions. Examples given in the interview include Bill Gates  and British Prime Minister Boris Johnson. Once you become familiar with the  technocratic agenda, you can start to recognize the players rather easily.

The Pandemic Is Part of the Technocratic Takeover Too

Last  but not least, the pandemic is part and parcel of the technocrats’ Great Reset  that will usher in a whole new world of unimaginable restrictions on freedom. It  has already accomplished a massive redistribution of wealth — again, from the  middle class, from small business owners, to large multinational companies such  as Amazon.

Eventually,  don’t be surprised if you hear talk about providing everyone with a basic  income — a step toward the 2030 cashless “utopia” where you own nothing — and  universal debt forgiveness in return for the forfeiture of all rights to  private ownership going forward.

The  lockdowns also had the effect of demolishing local economies around the world —  an entirely needless manmade situation that is now used as an excuse for why we  so desperately need to “reset” the economic system, and while we’re at it, we  should “build back better.”

Lockdowns  and school closings have ushered in calls for more online learning, which locks  youths into the digital surveillance matrix to an even greater extent than  before, and as the COVID-19  vaccine is being rolled out, it sets the stage for biometric surveillance,   tracking and tracing, which will eventually be tied in with all your other  medical records, digital ID, digital banking and a social credit system.

All  of this in turn requires 5G,  which just so happens to be rolling out in the midst of this pandemic. Again,  once you become more familiar with the technocratic agenda, you’ll see how all  these seemingly random events are not particularly random at all, but weave  together, forming a grand net — and we are what’s for dinner.

The  answer is to, first, educate yourself and others. I urge you to listen to  Wood’s interview in its entirety, as he goes over a lot that I have not  summarized here. Once you can see the plan, the next step is to resist and  object to any and all implementations of the technocratic agenda. We can win,  for the simple fact that there are more of us than there are of them, but we  have to be vocal about it — we need to join forces and present a united  front. 

+ Sources and References

source

  Study Feeding Pigs Human Food Canceled for Cruelty

[shadowthrone-ammanas]

Hi again! Thank you for once again doing a prompt for me. If I've reached my limit for prompts, that's cool. If not, I have one other idea: Rumbi is alive. Well and truly alive, unlike his automaton brethren. The reason for his elevation to sentience was because when Hat Kid first assembled him, she used her ships' power (Time Pieces) to energize him, inadvertently granting life to Rumbi (due to time energy or whatever). It's why both Hat Kid and Bow Kid refer to Rumbi as he or him. Thanx!

Thank you for the request!

Defective

They’d just got the vacuum cleaner and it was already broken before they’d even gotten a chance to use it. And it wasn’t either of their faults… or at least as far as Bow knew, that was the case. It was possible Hat Kid had dropped the box or something similar when Bow wasn’t around. Doubtful though because she’d been almost just as excited as Bow was about getting one. It didn’t really matter though, it wasn’t working. It wouldn’t even try to turn on.

“We can fix it,” Hat Kid said with total confidence.

“You really think so? It’s alien technology,” Bow replied. “Also, last time you tried to fix anything, everything broke.” It had taken Bow forever to fix it too.

“Yep and that’s why when I said ‘we’ I mostly meant ‘you’. You’re super good with like mechanics and engineering and stuff, I’m sure you can more than handle an automatic vacuum.” Hat Kid bent down and picked it up. She gave Bow a smile as she held it towards her.

She did have a point. While they were both theoretically capable   in that realm, Bow was significantly better at it. Mostly just because unlike Hat Kid, she didn’t rush things or get impatient. So… “Okay, I’ll do all the hard work and fix it, or try to anyway.” She’d never dealt with alien tech before so she wasn’t completely confident.

-

 Turns out that doubt was completely unwarranted. Not even ten minutes after opening the machine up to examine its inner workings, Bow knew everything there was to know about it and how it worked. Including why it hadn’t turned on.

“It didn’t come with a power source,” she said as she strode back into the central room.

Hat Kid sat in the command chair, looking out the window as they hurdled through space. She spun around to face Bow. “You mean… we were supposed to buy that separately?”

“Apparently or maybe it was a mistake. Either way though it’s too late to do anything about it.” They’d already left the planet they’d bought it on. They’d waited until right before it was time to leave to get one because they’d spent pretty much all their currency on it. “Which sucks. They were so cute and I really wanted one.” They weren’t allowed to have pets but a robot that was also a vacuum cleaner technically wasn’t a pet. It wouldn’t have been the best substitute in the world but it would’ve been better than nothing. And it really was cute with its little face and stock phrases when it bumped into things.

Hat Kid thought for a moment before hopping up out of the chair. “I refuse to stand for this. Let’s modify it so it’ll run on the ship’s power.”

Oh! Bow hadn’t considered that. It wouldn’t even be that hard to do but… it might not be a good idea. The magic in the Time Pieces was known to sometimes do weird things to even the most basic of AI systems. Bow had never been allowed to see it in person but it had been covered in one of their classes, it gave AI’s full sentience, not all but most. … Which actually meant maybe it was a good idea even if it did break the rules. She’d always wanted to see that in person.

“Dibs on naming it when we’re done,” she said before turning to rush back into the machine room to start working on it right away.

For this request event.

[viviane-lefay]

Yeah, no fucks to give here!

Really not into this ship - at least not in a romantic & sexual context.

—

At this point, I think it is best, if I put a little clarification here, before I continue:

This is just about my personal opinion, theories & headcanon - and by no means lays a claim to general validity (nor does your POV, btw).

I have more of a pick & choose approach to fandom subjects, anyway, so I can customize the experience exactly according to my needs and wishes. This is fiction, after all - the realm of endless possibilities - where anything goes, and where there is a place for the preferences of all of us.

That said, I really want to point out that I have nothing against people shipping the Dr. with Agent Stone - but since I, personally, prefer m/f ships, I’d rather choose the female OC approach, as it’s also my beloved villain x heroine constellation (not the subject of this post, though).

My take on the dynamic between the Dr. and his assistant is, therefore, quite a bit different from the fandom popular one. Well, to each his own.

What this post definitely is not, is an invitation for a debate regarding character interpretation, shipping choices, etc. - and all the potential drama that this might entail. If that is what you’re after, then I’d politely ask you to leave now, because all you are doing is wasting both of our time.

Let’s just agree to disagree and move on, k!?

I do my thing and you do you, guys!

I suppose, I made myself abundantly clear now.

—

Anyway, to return to the topic …

Where have all the male friendships & professional partnerships in fandom gone!?

Because, personally, I think agent Stone rather relates to his boss on that level…

Robotnik being a role model of some sort, that is - not unlike a kohai & senpai, or a younger & older brother constellation, actually - where the former looks up to the latter due to certain traits that he admires (and Stone certainly does). Regarding the age difference of the two, this could also make sense.

I’d estimate that Stone can’t be much older than his mid-twenties at most, since he’s in the position of a junior agent and assistant - still at the very beginning of his career path. And he’s very capable, disciplined and professional, at that, which is probably why he made it as Robotnik’s assistant at all (unsurprisingly, given the man isn’t the most patient).

Speaking of whom - I think, regardless of Jim Carrey being in his late fifties at that point - he, himself, can’t be that old, actually. My personal take (& preference) here would be late thirties, which would still make a lot of sense regarding his academic and occupational career. Being this overachieving genius, I guess that he finished school in time-lapse mode, skipping one, or even more grades - same goes for uni. Therefore, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was done by the age of 25 - his five PhDs included (bet he did two at once), which would still give him plenty of time to make his way as an agent and scientific government official up to the time of the events of the movie.

Aside from that, I can’t help but see parallels to the dynamic of Piett and Vader here, as well - a mixture of professional esteem and a bit of intimidation. But certainly no outright fear, as Stone is hardly under the threat of being strangled to death by his superior, like poor Piett is.

That is not to say that Robotnik’s still frequent misconduct towards him is ok (it definitely is not), but it certainly is more mild than he behaves towards, say, pretty much anyone else. Btw, that includes the “pin yourself to the wall”, grabbing him by the bottom lip and dragging him towards himself, while glaring at and chiding him (For what exactly!? Not being perfect, or as smart as him!? Chill, man, the boy is doing his best, and he’s doing a good job!).

Fandom, of course, does what it always loves to do - construe this as “evidence” for the alleged attraction between the two, which is pretty far-fetched, imho (…although you’re surely free to interpret it this way, if you so please. As I said, this is just my pov & to each his own. *shrugs*).

Anyway, you can clearly see Robotnik displaying this type of behaviour, along with the invasion of personal space, towards other male characters as well - be it “Major Nobody Cares”, “Officer Brainfart”, the big bar dude he threw out of the window, or Tom Wachowski. So, following this line of argument, does that mean he’s into these guys, as well!? Honestly, that’s pretty ridiculous!

If anything, it is a blatant display of asserting dominance, bringing the message home that he is the alpha male, while putting his opponent / subordinate in his place - and that’s it! What this behaviour definitely is not, however, is something remotely shipping related.

Besides, there are many examples of other male characters doing this for similar reasons, too - amongst others Darth Vader (remember that scene between him and Orson Krennic!?), and Severus Snape (after Harry invaded his memories during the occlumency lessons). And Robotnik does that quite aggressively in the cases above. In fact, it seems to be a fairly consistent behavioural pattern with him (not that he actually needed that though, but that’s an entirely different matter).

As for Robotnik’s personal attitude towards his assistant, I think Stone’s one of the very few people he actually respects, and even likes, because the young man’s esteem for him is so genuine, while everyone else regards him pretty much like nothing more than an asset, or a threat.

It’s not like he doesn’t somewhat encourage being kept in that position himself, behaving like he does - aside from actively reducing himself to his intellect & academic prowess. This isn’t all that surprising, as it is something he apparently gets his entire sense of self-worth from, and likely the only thing he got any appreciation for from others, which is, perhaps, also why he constantly needs to spotlight said trait (no behaviour someone truly at one with himself & his abilities would display, btw). Then, there is his little tolerance for failure - especially when it comes to himself. He truly expects to perform flawlessly, like a machine, and when he doesn’t, that really seems to unsettle him (that face when Tom points his unsuccessful attempts to catch Sonic out to him … he was so offended, he almost looked like he wanted to cry ^^;;).

So, of course it is likely that he becomes quite attached to the sort of attitude and behaviour that Stone displays towards him, even though he wouldn’t think of it this way - because, you know, emotional bonds with other human beings obviously are beneath him (Yeah, sure, we did see the veracity of that claim afterwards, didn’t we!?).

But, then again, growing up as an emotionally starved child and adolescent, used to being brushed aside, and, later, deliberately distancing himself from other people, he actually might have no clue whatsoever how to appropriately deal with things like these, and thus brushes them aside as “weakness”, which really does make sense, especially in the context that he was bullied as well.

Same goes for him eventually adopting the habit of pushing other people away via plain disagreeable behaviour. I think this phenomenon is called “hedgehog’s dilemma”, and it is quite ironic that he is more afflicted by it than his blue nemesis.

It is so painfully obvious that this guy has some massive issues, stemming from past emotional neglect and negative experiences - so much, that he even rejects all things human altogether, along with his own humanity.

His excessive idealization of and identification with technology, therefore, comes quite in handy as a defense mechanism in order to cope with said experiences.

Machines don’t ask much of you, they do what they are told, they are predictable, and they - above all - can’t suddenly abandon, betray, humiliate, and hurt you (which, I think, is the crux of the matter here).

Even though he might claim that his robots are everything to him, and that he doesn’t need anything and anyone else - his actions, however, prove otherwise … let alone his constant spiteful remarks on the matter, which just sound so damn bitter.

We can recognize that quite clearly when he is forced into involuntary seclusion on that mushroom planet at the end. This is where we see that what he truly is missing are not his machines (I bet he could have easily built a robot to accompany him out of the wreckage of his vessel), but one of the few people (maybe even the only one at that point), that he had apparently grown to value as worthwile company - namely agent Stone.

And, yes, it is very evident that he misses him (platonically, for me - but this isn’t even the point here) - he even tries to make a rock resemble Stone’s likeness in order to have someone to “talk to”, and mimic the social interactions he had with him.

Essentially, all those objects and machines are but a substitutive gratification that he tries to use, but that never come remotely close to the real deal, let alone are ever able to replace it.

In the end, he’s still a human being, along with all the human needs that go along with it - human contact and care included.

If the psycho-social and emotional makeup of his closest known relatives is any indicator to how his own might be structured - and it usually is (I’m speaking about the nature aspect, not nurture) - then he can’t be such a bad guy, after all - at least not inherently.

Taking his grandfather Gerald Robotnik, for example, who loved his granddaughter Maria (a total sweetheart) so much, that he was willing to do anything for her, in order to heal her from the fatal illness that was afflicting her - and who literally went insane with grief after losing her - then it shows someone with a strong emotional life, who feels what he feels very keenly and deeply. Furthermore, he is also someone that happens to bond very selectively, but if that is the case, it has this virtually absolute quality about it, with a love just as intense and profund to match (which is quite beautiful, actually).

On the other hand, though, that can also mean someone that has a high degree of emotional vulnerability, and who, therefore, is susceptible to sustain lasting damage from interpersonal traumatic experiences (which happens to be the case here, imho).

More often than not, it is this type of person that is likely to cork up their feelings and harden their hearts as a result - and who use every opportunity to deride the very traits, needs, and wishes they worked so hard to push away, if they see them in others. That is, amongst others, what gives them away. It’s pure projection - which is why I think that his caustic remarks should definitely not be taken at face value.

There are many, many examples of villains (or anti-heroes) that fit this type. Robotnik would hardly be an exception.

Besides, it is nice to see that Jim Carrey seems to have a fairly similar take on that matter (not that I actually care, but still):

“… and all it really comes down to is, he wants to be special to somebody, only it’s gone megalomania for him.”  [x]

Ouch! Poor guy, actually.

He seems a lot like Ozai in that regard. No wonder I dig this dude (aside from him being hot, that is, haha) - he’s totally the type of villain I fancy.

And also, like it’s the case with Ozai, I can’t help but wonder about his past, given there is known so little about it (aside from a few hints), so the following will be about some of my personal theories and headcanons about him, his family, and his past.

These are such important characters (main antagonists, no less), yet the creators can’t bring themselves to be more specific about the most basic facts concerning their families. Ugh, huge pet peeve here! Nobody expects a huge ancestral chart down to the tiniest details, but they could at least offer more info about their closest relatives - especially the parents, who happen to have the most formative influence on a person.

How old was he, when his parents died, anyway!? That they died seems pretty much a given, as that is what being an orphan is about, per definitionem (and he referred to himself as such). But how did they die? Did he witness their death, or was he absent?

Personally, I have this theory that their demise might very well be linked with what happened to his grandfather Gerald Robotnik, and his cousin Maria. Perhaps they were on that space research colony during the military assault, and were also amongst the “collateral damage” there.

From what I read, the recruited scientists lived there, so I reckon that they did bring their families with them, which is likely, since it is said that Maria was born there, so at least her parents must have lived there for an extended amount of time, as well. Since Ivo isn’t Maria’s brother, but her cousin, Gerald must have had at least two children, who lived alongside him (… and his wife!? No info about her, either.) on that station.

While I think both of Ivo’s parents were from prominent scientist families (after all, that is what the population of this space station was comprised of), it is still unclear whether or not they remained on that station. I am inclined to believe they might have split their time between there and Earth, as Maria and Ivo don’t appear to have been particularly close, such as, for instance, her and Shadow (who was pretty much her only friend there), but I think that might also have been the case due to a difference in age.

Maria was 12 years old when she died during the military attack on the station. Since Ivo apparently seems to have no significant memory of his parents, and seems to have spent his childhood as an orphan, he can’t have been older than 3-4 during this incident.

With Gerald arrested, and pretty much the rest of the inconvenient Robotnik family gone, aside from that small child, I think the military decided to take him along, simply because of the vast potential of this child, coming from a bloodline of geniuses, that was now theirs to mold and to exploit.

They likely left the boy in an orphanage afterwards, mostly to his own devices, and without any support, or caregiver whose bonds transcended the mere duty of keeping their fosterling alive - a lonely life, largely deprived of emotional warmth and attachment.

However, they did keep him under close monitoring, so they could intervene anytime they saw fit, to stir him in the direction they wanted - like a psychological experiment of sorts. I remember that in the movie the presiding pentagon guy referred to him as “a lab rat with teeth” - which is rather telling regarding how they perceived him, and pretty nasty, considering the implication.

The Robotnik name, though, they obviously did not refuse him - a decision they would come to regret later. While this allowed him the only tie to his ancestry, their legacy, however, didn’t do him much good.

Gerald Robotnik was a disgraced man, known to the world as the genius madman, imprisoned and sentenced to death as a criminal - which was, by far not the whole truth. And yet, he was turned into this idealised picture of a hero by his grandson, who so admired his achievents and strove to become a scientist because of it, despite knowing only the official version of the story.

The tainted reputation of his grandfather would haunt Ivo for a long time to come. It would also become the lens through which he was perceived and judged by the world at large, and this turned out to be the main reason he was rejected, and, furthermore, relentlessly bullied by his peers - irrespective of his own accomplishments, which earned him at least the praise of his authority figures.

That he eventually snapped and retaliated, did not exactly improve the situation for him. While the bullying did stop for the greater part, the peoples’ suspicion had turned into fear, as their concerns had come to pass after all, and, as a result, he was shunned even more.

In the following years, he was further on groomed to become this perfect military asset - a morally unchecked scientist and ruthless agent, that the government could deploy like the weapon they undoubtedly saw him as.

Unfortunately for them, however, their experiment didn’t quite have the outcome they had anticipated, as he not only exceeded their expectations on an intellectual and scientific level, but, at the same time, became increasingly unstable, unpredictable (”psychological tire-fire”) and, hence, potentially dangerous - to such a degree that they became very hesitant to deploy him at all (despite the “perfect operations record”), and even downright terrified of him.

Frankly, I think they’d also have ample reason to be afraid of him, other than just his obviously ambitious nature. The most prominent being a possible event, where he finds out about what truly happened to his family and himself, as well as their role in this. Needless to say, that he wouldn’t take this lightly, considering all the shit he had to endure because of it, and likely seek revenge. I’d really be curious about such a scenario.

[cecilspeaks]

157 - The Promise of Time

If it walks like a duck, and sings like a duck, And excretes slime like a duck, Then it’s a d- uh, you know? I don’t think that’s a duck. Welcome to Night Vale.

The future is here, listeners. The future is now. Dying has become a bad joke, and we wonder how we ever put up with it.t The Quality Cryogenics Corporation, run by one Casper Rhodes, is offering a simple solution. They will remove your brain upon death, freeze it, and then revive you hundreds of years from now, when the technology exists to live eternally. The town was recently traumatized by time working correctly and us all having to deal with aging, so this solution is exactly what we are looking for. And it only costs 10,000 in cash, no refunds. I am currently getting together the funds to purchase this service for both myself and my husband Carlos, because I believe that the two of us can live together forever. No more is there this awful time limit ticking down from the moment of our meeting until the moment of our parting. Now our brains will sit snugly next to each other, until we are weakened anew to a bright future.

Carlos says he is a little unsure about this, because he thinks that death is one of the most scientific processes of all. But he’ll come around. We’ll just talk about it, and he’ll see it my way. After all, we have the rest of our lives. And our lives – will never end.

Here’s the news. Now that we all know we’re going to get to live there, all any of us can talk about is the future. What is it going to be like? Will there be trees? Will we still have that insufferable moon? These are the questions we are all having to consider now that we will live forever. And one person is claiming to have those answers. A professional futurist and digital prophet named NZ has released a lengthy report outlining what the future is like. Apparently, skyscrapers will be twice as all, but also twice as thin. Each floor will only hold about one medium room or three very small rooms. But also, skyscrapers will have thousands of floors. The biggest revelation in NZ’s report is that in the future, menial labor will be done by robots! Robots will wash our cars, clean our toilets, and cook our food, leaving us all the time in the world to quietly boil in existential dread. According to NZ, these robots first enter the market in about a hundred years, and then really catch on until everyone has three or four at their disposal. And also everyone is so, so bored.

Man, the future sounds great. I can’t wait to get there! This has been the news.

Let’s have a look at today’s horoscopes. Leo. This is a fantastic month for new business plans, travels, meeting new people, and breaking out of the windowless prison cell you woke up in this morning. Good luck on all those exciting ventures!

Virgo. I hope you are not too attached to your left hand. Either way, you won’t be soon.

Libra. You will walk out from your house. The sun will look strange to you, even though you think it perhaps always looked like that. It will look like it always has, and it will look so strange. As you walk down the street, you will see a path you’ve never noticed before, leading away from the familiar into a dark and twisted wood. You will follow this path, the warm dirt softly crunching under your feet. At the end of the path, you will come to a small and cozy home. In the window will be a boy, and he will give you a sign. A hand to the side means it is safe to go on, a hand by the air means the burrowers are hungry tonight. A covered mouth means the time is nigh. You may proceed accordingly. Even the stars do not know what happens next.

Scorpio. You’re a great brother-in-law, husband, father and friend. And if it’s up to me - and let’s be honest, it is – the stars will never say another mean thing about you again.

Sagittarius. You are really walking on thin ice here, buddy! No really buddy, you are walking on thin ice, buddy look down, the ice is about to crack and the waters below are so cold and clear. You have never seen anything so beautiful.

Capricorn. You have spent your life searching for your soul mate. Finally, having given up on love, you have volunteered to board a starship destined to never return to our world. You will live out decades on that vast arc, developing close but platonic relationships with the few fellow humans that are with you. Finally, in your 83rd year, you will land on a planet that’s surface will appear to be made entirely of silver. You will step out onto that foreign terrain, and waiting for you will be an alien being made entirely of vapor, a wisp of a creature whose droplets will curl around you, and you will smile and realize that you have finally found your soul mate.

Aquarius. Your lucky number is five, which is also how many days you have left. That’s an auspicious coincidence!

Pisces. Everyone knows your terrible secret, and they think it’s really boring.

Aries. This just says “spiders” in increasingly large fonts for about seven pages. Aww, that’s cute!

Taurus. Turn your eyes to the heavens. Honestly, it’s better not to see what’s approaching from below.

Gemini. There will come a day in which you will have to go to the ocean. Who knows when that day will come. You might be hundreds of miles away form the ocean, you might be in an airplane or working on a farm in Ottawa. But there will come a day in which you will have to go to the ocean, and so you will travel in whatever attire you were wearing when you were called, barefoot and groggy, walking day and night until you see the glitter of water, until you hear the hush of the waves. And then you will walk into the ocean until only your head is above the surface, and you will laugh and laugh and laugh. And the ocean will laugh with you. But today is not that day. Who knows when it will come?

And lastly, Cancer. Uh huh. OK. Yeah. Everything is basically fine with you, yeah. You’re good. Nothingggggg tooo report.

This has been horoscopes.

Demand has become so high for the services of the Quality Cryogenics Corporation that Casper Rhodes announced that he has run out of space for brains. “Gotta stuff these head blobs somewhere,” he said, “but where to toss ‘em?” City Council agreed that this is an important problem, and immediately requisitioned large swaths for Night Vale real estate to serve as eventual brain storage locations. There are rumors that this move was made in exchange for free use of cryogenic services by the City Council. But the council vehemently denied the allegation and said to prove their innocence, they would arrest anyone who tried to say that they were guilty. Initially, the public library was one of the buildings intended to be converted to brain storage. But a single librarian scuttled out from the front door and stood eye to eyes with the City Council, until the City Council whimpered and backed down. At which point the librarian silently retreated, their deadly point made, their library safe. This is quite a change from when the only customer of Casper Rhodes was Charlie Bear, weekday shift manager at the Ralphs. Now there are only a few people left in town who haven’t signed up. I am a little ashamed to say that Carlos and I are one of those few, it’s y-, eh, taking me longer than I thought to scrape together the money and Carlos still wants to talk about it more but don’t worry, we will definitely join you all in the future. I will see you there!

Speaking of which, local futurist and digital prophet NZ is giving a seminar on the future. But attendance is expected to be low. Frankly, people find NZ’s predictions a little silly. After all, what does this NZ know about the future that we don’t? All any of us know about the future is that some day we will end up there, and by the time we get there, it won’t be the future. In any case, we expected more exciting predictions. Frequent space travel, miracle cures to the disease, and contact with more alien species than the three we know about in our primitive time. But NZ just won’t shut up about robots, and how much of the future is defined by robots serving us hand and foot. Only three people showed up to NZ’s seminar, one of whom was your faithful reporter, and one especially upset attendee even threw popcorn and led a chant of “Booriing!” during the part about the robots. And I’m not sorry I did it, either. It was very boring.

The family of missing person Frank Chen has filed a lawsuit against the city, declaring criminal negligence in allowing a five-headed dragon to claim the identity of their one-headed human family member, merely because the dragon carried about Frank’s ID. “You are all monsters,” said Frank’s sister Lauren. “Monsters! Monsters! Monsters!” She said this through a bullhorn, as she drove her convertible up and down the city streets. “But how could we have known?” the City Council fumed. “What, are we supposed to look into every suspicious disappearance in Night Vale? We only have 18 hands, we are doing the best we can.” The lawsuit will start with a document review and depositions. Currently, they are seeking all records on the suspected killer of Frank Chen, one Hiram McDaniels, who has not been seen in town for a couple years now. They also want to interview friends of Hiram, including a radio host who wouldn’t describe himself as a friend, more a dedicated observer.

And now a look at the stock market. [squeals] Wheee, ahahahaha! Ahahaha ooh, oo-hohoh, whaaaaaaaaa, hahah, wow!! This has been a look at the stock market.

Now let’s go over to – hello? Oh sorry, wha-what are you doing here? Listeners, the futurist NZ has entered the studio. They are waving at me frantically and holding up signs, um let me just put on my reading glasses. Embarrassing, but I suppose we all eventually reach that age. I never thought I would, but now that time is working correctly and I have aged – yes. Yes, no I see you, pointing at the sign, screaming NZ just give me a moment now where did I put those glasses? It’s in my pocket, oh [chuckles]. Now there’s some sort of metal man next to NZ. Oh, yes you have a sign, OK alright, alright, here’s my glasses! [clears throat] Uh, NZ’s sign reads “I am not a futurist, I am from the future. A time traveler sent back to warn you all.” And they’re still pointing at the metal man. Ah, this is one of those robots that NZ is always going on about! NZ is saying that everything they told us about the robots was true, and they brought one just to prove it, well hi robot! Oh, oh the robot has something to say? Oh, wait, it’s saying “I’m hardly a bear.” Well no, [chuckles] I’d say you’re not. You’re more of  a robot. Oh no, I misheard, they’re saying “Time carved a pear.” What? NZ, I think your robot is malfunctioning. Wait, not it’s saying… it’s saying, “I’m Charlie Bear.” Charlie Bear? Well he’s the weekday shift manager at the Ralphs, this makes no sense. The robot is saying again: “I’m Charlie Bear.” And then it is saying: “Help me.” It is saying “help me” over and over in a hollow digital moan.

Listeners, uh.. Let’s check in on the weather.

[“Good Intentions, Bad Advice” by Nicky Flowers https://nickyflowers.bandcamp.com]

The robot told us everything. Once the robot was Charlie Bear, weekday shift manger at the Ralphs, and then a man named Casper Rhodes came to town. Casper offered the idea of living forever, freezing Charlie’s brain after death so that he could wake up in the future once mortality was a bad dream. Once sickness was a memory. So Charlie signed up. He took out his life savings plus a couple loans and paid the 10,000 dollars. And Charlie became the first customer of the Quality Cryogenics Corporation. And Charlie was so happy. He is so happy somewhere in town, even while this robot tells us its story. Charlie is unaware, and he is happy. Because Charlie believes he has defeated death. And Charlie will continue to believe this for another 15 years until the unfortunate whistle pig incident. And after that, his brain will be removed from his mangled corpse and will remain frozen for centuries in the grain silo outside of town. And then one day, Charlie will awaken. It will be the future, as promised, and as promised he will not be dead, but all will not be well. He will have awoken as a brain in a metal body chained to that body’s programming. It will be explained to him that he was brought to the future by the Quality Cyborg Corporation, in order to take care of any errands or busywork needed while the humans of that future relax and watch him toil. You see, when we deny death and toss ourselves into the future, we do so with the strange delusion that the future feels it owes us life. That in the world of the future, they would want nothing more than to devote time and money into resurrecting each of us into eternal wellness. But the future does not feel any obligation to us at all. The past means only one thing to the future, the past is a resource. Every brain saved by Casper Rhodes is a resource.

It is a trick. We are being used. We must put a stop to this, we were all wrong trying to fight death this way, to put our trust in the future is though it would be anything but some other person’s present. Carlos was right, I was wrong! Who is this Casper Rhodes, and why is he doing this?

Oh, Casper’s calling to the station. He must be calling to confess or otherwise explain his crimes. Casper, is that you? What have you done? What have you done? Casper: Hi there, Cecil. Was listening to your show and really disappointed to hear what you were saying about me, buddy. But as the Smiling God says: when your enemies try to bring you down, just smile wider and wider until your smile eclipses the sun and then all other life in the universe. Believe in a Smiling God, buddy. Believe in a Smiling God.

Today’s proverb: As Dolly Parton said: tumble out of bed, and I stumble to the kitchen. Have to fight an evil magician, yawn and stretch and fight him for my life. Wise words.

[thewadapan]

in the grim darkness of the far future there is only cred

(This is a complete archive of the @Ask_Triton Twitter account created for April Fools’ Day 2020, based on my previous comics “PASS” and “The Beast Within (My Pants)”. A behind-the-scenes commentary is included at the end of the post.)

triton ebooks

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

autobot code sparknotes

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

wikihow cred acquisition

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

toyhax insignia stickerfixer

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

wait *hit i thought this was google

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

hi. my names triton. and the great war was the best thing to ever happen to me

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

rodimus finally convinced springer to let me join the rockers. rock and roll

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

springer is giving each of us a special nickname. were supposed to call him springax 219.31 alpha. apparently im now tritus 717.25 beta. wonder what he meant by that

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

shut the *uck up road buster

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

roadbuster be quiet challenge

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

triton can have little a cred. as a treat

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

hey whirl do you wanna play im a spy? wait *hit

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

if anyone ever finds out im a decepticon im gonna get *ucking shot. thats cancel culture baby

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

no cred? no thanks

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

boy am i glad impactor ate *hit and died. that guy was not *ucking around

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

YEAH uh huh YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS green and yellow green and yellow green and yellow green and yellow

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

no whirl this is not a poncho you *ucking cyclops

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

starting to think the special rockers assignment springer gave me and whirl was just a clever ruse to get rid of us. like theres no way all of the empties we just shot were decepticon moles

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

when you triton your best but you don't succeed

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

whirl no offense but theres absolutely no way im hitching a ride with you back to autobase. no its not because my arms are too weak to hang onto your landing skids for that long. no see this is your problem youre just *ucking annoying end of story

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

got that sinking feeling again lads. wait no i just forgot to transform before jumping into the sea

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

sky of blue im a green / and a yellow submarine

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

10,000 hics under the sea

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

sometimes underwater. always undercover

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

yeah springer can drive and he can fly but he sure can't bob around the sewers like a piece of *hit can he

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 1, 2020

felt cred might delete later picture cred: @ikkadkarf pic.twitter.com/cQKer3asaW

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 2, 2020

ultra magnus just held a door open for me. his magnusnimity knows no bounds

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 3, 2020

if you think you know where im going with this tweet your wrong but what you were thinking of is probably more good

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 3, 2020

3000 kilograms? yeah thats me. triton

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 3, 2020

you wear a mouthplate just to hide your face and you wear it because you think your cooler than me

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 3, 2020

met scattorshot in the hallway. he was like "i never heard of an autobot who was a submarine" and i said "im not" and he said "what" and i said "a submarine". clutch save

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 3, 2020

springer just got back from patrol and says hes finally killed all the decepticons. good thing he doesnt remember that time we got absolutely spannered at maccadams and i got up on a table and start shouting im a decepticon

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 3, 2020

yeah weve all heard of the last autobot but what about the last decepticon. just something to think about

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 3, 2020

actually this reminds me of a funny story about how the word spannered came about. it all started when straxus decided he wanted to cross this body of water. i said id carry him but he just gave me this weird look and said he had a better idea

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 3, 2020

thinking of getting a massive flame painted on my chest. just kidding who do you think i am clodimus prime

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 3, 2020

not MY prime

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 3, 2020

stop talking about me behind my back. im not talking to anyone in particular. dreadwind

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 4, 2020

yeah im going through a bit of a phase right now. phase six

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 4, 2020

its hard being a double agent. its hard and nobody understands

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 4, 2020

sometimes i wish i was a car robot

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 4, 2020

just got tackled by sandstorm. had to scream at him to get him to move his rotor away from my throat. thought it was a funny hat not a deadly weapon. most terrifying experience of my life aside from when computron stepped on me

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 4, 2020

im horny

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 4, 2020

bots with no rights: horny people and decepticons. lucky for me two no rights makes a right

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 4, 2020

i have discovered the secret of combiner technology. step one. stand up straight with your shoulders back

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 4, 2020

why wont afterburner combine with me

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 4, 2020

springer is *ucking ugly. who even paints themselves green and yellow. piss off

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

im like dropping hints that im a double agent

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

TR-8N

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

inside you there are two faction symbols. one is an autobot the other is a decepticon. you are triton

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

not faction-swapper! dont like that term. freelance double agent. for certain social remuneration of course

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

hnng megatron im trying to sneak around but the clank of my *ss cheeks keeps alerting springer

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

you think cred is your ally? i was born in cred. molded by it

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

springer put me in the inhibitor harness again

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

sick of being a loser nobody. wish my life could have an issue 0 where i was actually the man of iron all along

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

it isnt easy being green

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

this planet isnt relevant to my interests anymore

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

better dead than no cred

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

just called roadbuster an idiot. back on top

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

im springers oldest enemy but he hates roadbuster more

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

Yo waspinator, is everything allrignt??

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

its like people dont even remember my name

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

sometimes its hard to reconcile the continuity error of my life with the established canon of me being a huge *ucking ledge

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 5, 2020

im the first in a new generation of transformers. introducing the credacons

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 6, 2020

tritons in disguise

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 6, 2020

more ton meets the tri

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 6, 2020

if i hit broadside on the back of the neck hard enough either hell turn back into a boat or just *ucking die. either way i win

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 6, 2020

join the TCC today. Triton's Cred Club

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 6, 2020

got cred?

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 6, 2020

just found out about the beast. damn that *hit sucks

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 6, 2020

if i was there with the beast i wouldve stopped it. rip to megatron but im different

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 6, 2020

lol i remember telling megatron i wouldnt go native but look at me now not a single capital letter in sight

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 6, 2020

pictured: me and the other great decepticon leaders beat the *hit out of rodimus prime pic.twitter.com/6ShZrPgV8l

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 6, 2020

for *ucks sake lightspeed stop trying to correct my grammar you mechanical throwback. i know how to use *ucking apostrophe's

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 7, 2020

mucho cred

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 7, 2020

mucho mucho man

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 7, 2020

nosecone keeps asking me to follow his account. at drill or something. what a plonker

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 7, 2020

desperately trying to think of a funny joke to make ultra magnus and the rest of the gang laugh

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 7, 2020

Leader Class Triton With Triton Master Triton

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 7, 2020

excuse me roadbuster who said youre allowed to laugh at my jokes

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 7, 2020

hate how i always have to be triton. sometimes i want to be tritoff

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 7, 2020

topspin and twin twist should legally change their names to blue and white. wait *hit theyre both blue and white *uck *hit i didnt think this through

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 7, 2020

richard starkings stop sending me to voicemail

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 7, 2020

i am triton. the last living decepticon and incognito espionage specialist amongst the autobots. ask me anything

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 8, 2020

Anything?

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 8, 2020

pass

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 8, 2020

hey nosecone ive got a favour to ask. so ive been thinking of getting an upgrade lately. basically what i want is to be able to fly away from this place by means of large quantities of gas expelled at high velocity from my rear. now allow me to explain how you fit into all this https://t.co/Mt9ELmLNLU

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 8, 2020

we get it. you strafe

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 8, 2020

had the nightmare again. the one where springer figures out im a decepticon. i try to use the waterways as an escape route but when i get there broadsides fat *ss is blocking the estuary pic.twitter.com/XMZbkZsYs0

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 9, 2020

squad goals pic.twitter.com/PkI92HCHCn

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 9, 2020

in my dreams im always fighting my new friends. everyones super ripped. oh and impactor is there for no reason pic.twitter.com/Uzl9asiZCY

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 9, 2020

when im staring down the barrel of the gun im *hitting myself and i always thought that was stupid because if you die in the dream then you dont die in real life you just wake up. but now im wondering if thats what im afraid of. having to go back to pretending pic.twitter.com/fEZbfu81nf

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 9, 2020

primus forgive me but its time to go back to the old me pic.twitter.com/hh1vXZO5WS

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 9, 2020

Triton: A Transformers Story

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

few can remember how the war started. fewer still can now make the distinction between good and evil. but everyone will remember this particular day. because this is the day the war ended

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

are you tired of being nice. dont you just want to go *hit

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

all I wanna do is BANG BANG BANG BANG and a *transformation noises* and BRAAAAP

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

first you fard. then you *hid. then

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

cybertronian vandal

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

uh oh! stinky!

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

just saw blurr speedwalking to rodimus primes office at mach 2

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

you are about to enter the courtroom of judge rodimus prime. the bots are real. the cases are real. the rulings are final. this is judge roddy

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

Autobot Leader Gives Road Buster 11,453 Stern Looks

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

first one to talk gets to stay on my planet

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

getting flashbacks to that time unicron attacked. he picked me up between his fingers and vored me. i barely escaped with my cred

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

not on your life. its a fake. total fiction. it didnt happen. not fact. im innocent

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

it could be you. it could be me. it could eVEN BE

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

GHAA!

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

my Rash Action has led to a Fatal Consequence

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

i used to think that my life was a tragic. but now i realise. its a comic

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

now i understand. he who smelt it dealt it. i have been a smelting fool

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

ultra magnus i dont feel so good

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

dont reveal the shield. i said dont

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

the decepticon high command on cybertron have judged this account to be anti-decepticon and the firecons have been despatched to Earth to incinerate all copies. in order to thwart the firecons make sure you fill out your credit card details below

— Ask_Triton (@Ask_Triton)

April 10, 2020

Notes

The Ask Triton tagline, “in the grim darkness of the far future there is only cred”, is the tagline of Warhammer 40,000 except it replaces the word “war” with “cred”.

I’ve got no idea when I started working on this project, except that it was many months ago. I opened a note on my phone and wrote the words “triton ebooks”, and thereafter whenever I thought of a Funny Joke™ I’d crack that bad boy open and slap it in there. I wasn’t entirely sure when or how I’d ever release the material; I could copy my direct inspiration for the account, @prowl_ebooks (and its own ancestor, @Horse_ebooks), by making a bot that’d periodically post a random tweet, but felt like there was some degree of serialisation in what I was writing. Despite the content of its tweets frequently being utterly absurd, and completely at odds with its source material, the genius of prowl_ebooks is that it manages to paint a picture that somehow feels like an accurate reflection of IDW Prowl’s canon self. Seriously, I’ve seen many of the tweets this bot pumps out countless times, and they still crack me up. I knew I wouldn’t be able to live up to that, but I had other tricks up my sleeves.

The Autobot Code originated in Simon Furman’s comics for Marvel UK and featured more prominently in James Roberts’ stories for IDW Publishing, where it was presented as a laborious tome of rules. SparkNotes, meanwhile, is a well-known site hosting CliffsNotes-like study guides used by students primarily to avoid having to read assigned literature in full.

wikiHow is an infamous encyclopedia devoted to tutorials, which often feature illustrations using a distinct style and deliver questionable advice.

Toyhax is the company that produces “Reprolabels”, effectively stickers for Transformers figures designed to replace vintage labels or to enhance newer figures (though I personally find the results to be pretty questionable). At one point they sold a product called a “Stickerfixer”, which I think was basically just a pen of glue? Anyway, Triton presumably wants one to (re)apply his fake Autobot insignia.

Google is a popular search engine for the world wide web. Its inclusion on the account was last-minute, and I was uncertain that Triton would actually have any understanding of what Google was, but figured if he was already using Twitter I could stand to show exactly how far I was planning to stretch disbelief from the outset, and that it’d work to explicitly tie together the intent behind the opening salvo of tweets.

Though I couldn’t be bothered tracking down an exact quote, “hi. my names triton. and the great war was the best thing to ever happen to me” was a reference to narration from Netflix’s Daybreak zombie-apocalypse series. I wrote a single paragraph about that series, specifically focused on that line, in an article which probably requires far more context than I’m able to give here. Of course, the general phrasing there is a common enough trope that this probably serves as a reference to any number of things. The halting style of dialogue used in Ask Triton, where full stops are the only form of punctuation, was a product of necessity, but it’s significantly at odds with the run-on-sentences used in the original comic. By my count, this is the fourth piece of media set in the “PASS” universe, but there’s no singular consistent presentation of that canon; every time I’ve revisited it, I’ve extrapolated and reinterpreted aspects of what has come before in ways which simply don’t match the original intent of the work. It’s kinda like the Star Wars expanded universe, where throwaway beats of the source material spin out into entire stories, ones that obviously don’t match the intent of what those beats were implying in the first place.

The Wreckers’ catchphrase is “wreck and rule”. I can’t find the exact tweet, but somebody recently realised that it’s supposed to be a play on “rock and roll”, which blew the minds of me and a whole bunch of other people. Hence, “the rockers”.

Ask Vector Prime explored the concept of “universal streams”, categorised by the multiverse-observing TransTechs using arcane identifiers. Springer’s nicknames are plays on these, substituting “Primax” for “Springax” and “Malgus”/”Iocus” for “Tritus” and encoding the dates 25/07/2017 (the original release date for “PASS” on Summer Meme Sundae) and 31/02/2019 (the date of its rerelease here) as 717.25 and 219.31. Springer uses the last part of the identifier, a Greek letter, to label himself as an “alpha” and Triton as a “beta”.

I’m not sure where it originated, but “x be quiet challenge” is a phrase which people sometimes use on Twitter when they effectively want someone to stop posting for once. I think I was probably introduced to the phrase when someone addressed it to Makin, then-owner of the Homestuck Discord server? Suffice to say, that probably informed its usage against Roadbuster.

“Cats Can Have Little a Salami [...] as a treat” was a Google preview of the article “Can My Cat Eat Salami?”, which became a snowclone on Discord and Twitter.

“I spy” is a famous guessing game where someone picks an object they can see and answers yes/no questions about it until another person is able to identify it. I have not played this game in a very long time.

“Cancel Culture” is a phrase used unironically mostly by assholes, in reference to the practice of “cancelling” problematic individuals in the court of public opinion on social media. I wish somebody had cancelled Triton.

For the life of me I cannot discern what “no cred? no thanks” is a specific reference to - there are probably many words you can substitute “cred” for in order to obtain an existing joke.

The phrase “eat shit and die” is one I enjoy using way too much, mostly in contexts where it’s absolutely unwarranted. What’s that? Someone said hi to me in the street and I didn’t say hi back in time? Well, guess I’ll eat shit and die then.

“YEAH uh huh YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS green and yellow green and yellow green and yellow green and yellow” is just Wiz Khalifa’s “Black And Yellow” only with green instead of black. Somehow I mostly associate this song with its usage in The Lego Batman Movie.

A poncho is a loose bit of fabric worn over the torso. Speaking of Lego, I was probably thinking of the poncho worn by this Mariachi minifigure, which resembles the triangular shape of Triton’s armour more closely than an actual real-world poncho. A cyclops is a one-eyed giant from Greek myth. Look, I know I don’t need to tell you all these things, but I wanted to really drive home just how pointless this venture is.

The “special rockers assignment” was a last-minute addition to the account; the tweets were posted in a completely different order to the one I’d written them in, with many thematically-related tweets collected into threads, and I needed a way to tie together several of the early ones into a clear narrative throughline. The Empties are fuel-starved unaligned Cybertronians from the Marvel comics. I considered having Springer’s ruse claim that they were all Robosmashed, but figured the cartoon reference was kind of at odds with the canon’s source material, and that it’s somehow funnier if Triton legitimately believes all of these robots are incognito like he is for just long enough to murder them all.

I think the goof of Triton substituting his name for vaguely-similar-sounding words references a habit developed by Chang in Community. “When you try your best but you don’t succeed” is the much-memed opening line to Coldplay’s “Fix You”. When I went to get that link, I realised that I do actually quite unironically like that song. Could it be wooorse...

Again, I wanted to make explicit that Triton was returning to Autobase, where the rest of the story would unfold, so Triton refuses Whirl’s help and uses his submarine mode to return home.

Triton’s alt-mode was suggested to be a submarine by Dreadwind in the letters’ pages of the Marvel UK comic. Triton reacts to this piece of Word of God in a later tweet.

“sky of blue im a green / and a yellow submarine” is a rewrite of the lyric “sky of blue sea of green / in our yellow submarine”, from The Beatles’ famous song “Yellow Submarine”.

I substituted the Cybertronian unit of length “hics” (roughly kilometers) into the title of Jules Vernes’ story 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, which I only now realise took place 20,000 leagues under the sea, and not 10,000. Perhaps if it wasn’t for my crippling fear of sea monsters, I would be better acquainted with this story. Wait, shit, I told myself I was going to break my crippling tendency to mention my crippling fear of sea monsters!

A common simile used in Homestuck is “like a piece of shit”, hence its inclusion.

The profile picture of the account was cropped from a piece of artwork drawn by my friend Ikkad, who also created the artwork that inspired/was-inspired-by my short story Dendrochronology. He posted it in the TFWiki Discord server on 07/03/2020, and it immediately galvanised me to prepare to launch Ask Triton, but the subsequent mass outbreak of Coronavirus led me to decide to delay the launch until April Fools’ Day. I coloured Ikkad’s lineart using colours taken directly from the scans of the comic, which didn’t result in a perfect match to how it looks in print but is close enough. At Ikkad’s suggestion, I replaced my first attempt using flat shading with a softer paint-like style that better matched the tone of the original comic. For the profile picture, I flipped the image so Triton faces the text of the tweets; I used a version with a blue background (flipped again to accommodate a status indicator) on Discord as a way of promoting the account. I’ve yet to decide whether I want to keep it on a more permanent basis. “felt cute might delete later” (the exact wording varies but I like this one best) is a snowclone usually posted alongside terrible selfies, or alongside bad pictures of fictional characters. Naturally, the tweet including the full artwork wasn’t planned in advance.

Substituting Ultra Magnus’ name into “magnanimity” is another terrible Chang-esque name pun. Ultra Magnus’ old AtoZ profile describes him using the phrase “top-notch geezer”, which was prominently used in a sketch show made by a friend of mine.

The line “if you think you know where im going with this tweet your wrong but what you were thinking of is probably more good” is a rewrite of the final narration box from “PASS”, which reads “believe me if you think you know where im going with this your wrong but what you were thinking of is probably better”. The joke is that you expect the tweet to end with “better”, and not “more good”, except I’m sure literally nobody who saw it remembered the narration box, because why would they? See, the thing about Ask Triton - arguably the crux of the whole thing - is that it exists in a fictional world where "PASS” and its related materials form the whole basis of an entire fandom, one which presumably documents its deep lore in the same exacting detail as we do, and for which the account’s jokes are actually funny.

A “ton” is a unit of weight which varies somewhat but can be basically used as a shorthand for 1,000 kilograms. Hence a “triton” is 3,000 kg. I am very smort.

“you wear a mouthplate just to hide your face and you wear it because you think your cooler than me“ is a minor rewrite of the lines “You got designer shades / Just to hide your face / And you wear them around like you're cooler than me” from Mike Posner’s “Cooler Than Me”. As you can tell, I mixed up the words slightly, moving “wear” forward and using bits of the line “And it's probably 'cause you think you're cooler than me.” from later in the verse. On the one hand, this goes to show that I should’ve done more research (indeed, there were a fair few other misquote flubs like this which I did correct in time for publication), but at the same time for crying out loud why is this paragraph not over yet.

Triton’s implied to be afraid of Scattorshot, whose AtoZ profile described him as the kind of person that says hi by sneaking up behind you and putting you in a headlock - if you’re thinking that’s a little specific, yes, I have had not one, but two friends like this. The word “clutch” is used by Gamers when they pull off something precise; a “clutch save” is usually a difficult last-second move made to win a game.

Maccadam’s Old Oil House, or just Maccadam’s, is the name of a bar on Cybertron which first appeared in Furman’s “Target: 2006″ Marvel UK comic storyline, which introduced the Wreckers. It’s risen to prominence in the 2000s, appearing in multiple stories, with Maccadam himself recently being explicitly revealed to be one of the legendary “thirteen original Transformers”. The tweet which mentions it was sort of a spur-of-the-moment thing I wrote to better set up the one which follows it in the thread.

“The Last Autobot” is another some-time member of the Thirteen, introduced by Furman towards the back end of his Marvel run. The phrase “the last Decepticon” crops up multiple times in the original text of “Peace”. The phrase “just something to think about” comes from SCP-2293, which I know entirely due to the fact that my friend jenny in the TFWiki Discord quotes it incessantly. She was the one who asked me to make this commentary, which absolves me of responsibility entirely, because I totally wasn’t already planning on writing it. The form of this very commentary is inspired by her annotations for Ask Vector Prime and TFWiki’s notes sections, which I think plays nicely into the idea of an alternate universe where “PASS” is an official piece of source material and Ask Triton is funny. I also like being able to mix these kinds of thematic tangents into banal observations about bad memes with wild abandon.

Again on a whim, I chose to make explicit the inspiration behind my use of the word “spannered”, an oblique reference to the US comic “The Bridge to Nowhere!”, which revealed that Decepticon Lord High Governor Straxus’ new space bridge was in fact constructed using the still-living body of the unaligned scientist Spanner. This was probably the closest the account ever got to genuine stream-of-consciousness.

Rodimus Prime expresses some level of indecision over his paint job in PASS, which Triton mocks by pretending he’s considering getting a flame painted on his chest. There’s a line in Rodimus Prime’s AtoZ profile which is interesting in light of what we learn in “The Beast Within (My Pants)”, where he’s described as “the oldest AUTOBOT”. I guess he’s the oldest in terms of age, but Optimus Prime’s the real leader? Weird.

#NotMyPresident was a hashtag that got circulated on social media following the 2016 election of Donald Trump. Wow, I regret this sentence. Wow, I regret this project.

Speaking of problematic jokes, the line “yeah im going through a bit of a phase right now” refers to “It’s not a phase mom”, a phrase used to mock kids making life choices perceived as questionable. It’s combined with a reference to Furman’s six-phase “infiltration protocol” from his IDW comics; Phase Six sees the complete annihilation of whatever planet the Decepticons are sneaking around on.

“its hard / being a kid and growwing up / its hard and nobody understands” is a line from Homestuck spoken by Eridan to Kanaya, which gets called back to multiple times later in the comic. This is another case of me misremembering a quote, as I forgot the “and growing up” part. I previously namedropped Eridan in the commentary for “The Beast Within (My Pants)” as the inspiration for my version of Skids, but I think it’s safe to say that he informed my versions of Triton and Grimlock to some subconscious extent.

Car Robots was the Japanese name for the 2001 series Robots in Disguise. The phrase “car robots” itself was used in the opening narration for “PASS”, hence its inclusion.

Triton describes Sandstorm’s propeller as a “funny hat”, in reference to propeller hats. Sandstorm’s characterisation in his AtoZ bio was a play on his The Punisher-like murder spree in IDW’s comics. The incident Triton recalls about getting stepped on by Computron is phrased in reference to this I-guess-meme (the lines between sincerity and insincerity increasingly blurrr) where people say they want their crush to “step on” them. The crude mapping between combiners and relationships began in “The Beast Within (My Pants)”, which slotted surprisingly well into the “restraining order” gag from Computeron’s AtoZ bio (written to make up the numbers for a neat grid of sixteen), and I flipflop between thinking it’s the funniest shit or just thinking it’s legitimately fucking awful, but canon is canon.

Sadly, this theme doesn’t stop there. “im horny” is a terrible innuendo referring to Triton’s horned helmet.

Triton tortures the “two wrongs make a right” fallacy by mixing it with the common refrain “horny people have no rights” (which perhaps originated in this tweet but for fuck’s sake I’m not wasting any more time looking this up).

This continues when Triton claims to have “discovered the secret of combiner technology”, which is a phrase that seems to crop up in various places in 21st-century Transformers comics. It turns out that Triton’s solution is the first of Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life, “Stand up straight with your shoulders back” (ugh, thanks, Spotify Discover Weekly). Jordan Peterson’s this asshole with a rabid following of straight white guys; my impression is that he uses a lot of overwrought pseudoscience to justify his ideology, but I personally think his twelve rules are actually pretty solid, which seems to be a perfect example of wrong-working-right-answer.

Afterburner’s AtoZ profile written as backmatter to “PASS” described him as “Cybertron’s bicycle”; Triton wonders why he refuses to combine with him and god this is fucking stupid.

“I’m like dropping hints that I’m single / I’m single” is a pair of screenshots from one of Kim Kardashian’s shows, which frequently see the word “single” substituted for various other things.

“TR-8R” was a nickname given to a Stormtrooper that appeared in Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, famous for his funny weapon and his loud accusation that one of the protagonists, Finn, is a “traitor!”

“Inside You There Are Two Wolves / One Is Gay / The Other Is Gay / You Are Gay” (the exact wording and concepts used vary) is a snowclone most commonly associated with various images of a black wolf and a white wolf.

“Not bounty-hunter, yes? Don’t like that term, understand? Freelance peacekeeping agent, yes? For certain financial remuneration, of course” is dialogue spoken by Simon Furman’s character Death’s Head in his sort-of-debut appearance in issue #113 of the Marvel UK comics.

“Hrrrrnnggh Colonel, I’m trying to sneak around but I’m dummy thicc and the clap from my ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards” was a tweet written from the perspective of Metal Gear character Solid Snake which turned into a snowclone and got so big that the actual voice actor for the character did a dramatic reading of it.

“Oh, you think darkness is your ally. You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, moulded by it” is famous dialogue from Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises.

The “inhibitor harness” is a piece of technology namedropped in Nick Roche’s Last Stand of the Wreckers, used to restrain Triton and the rest of Squadron X. It was itself a reference to the inhibitor claw and inhibitor band from Furman’s Marvel UK comics; I chose “harness” both because of its explicit connection to Triton and because it’s a funnier word.

In Simon Furman’s Transformers ‘84 issue #0, a prequel to the Marvel comics, he made a number of retcons, one of which revealed the identity of iconic Marvel UK character “the man of iron” to really have been the character Fastlane, who wasn’t conceptualised until 1987.

“It’s not easy being green” is a famous song sung by Kermit the Frog.

“This chat isn't relevant to my interests any more.” is the rare quote used in Ask Triton which comes from a completely arcane source, being the punchline to an anecdote someone told in the Worth the Candle Discord server. The channel where it was told is currently archived and inaccessible, but it centered around somebody leaving a group chat of friends in spectacular fashion, something I thought was apt considering the events of “PASS”. Anyway, I guess this is my excuse to tell you to go read Worth the Candle, as is obligatory of me.

“Back on top” is the punchline to a series of Limmy’s Show sketches.

One of the handful of replies received by Ask Triton over the course of its run simply read “Yo waspinator, is everything allrignt??” Suffice to say I was pretty baffled by this, as I’ve legitimately got no idea at what point my own profile picture got presented to that person, or whether they just genuinely mistook Triton for him.

The Maximals and Predacons of Beast Wars have occasionally been described as a “new generation” of Transformers, though I didn’t track down any kind of exact quote.

Robots in Disguise and More than Meets the Eye were the two famous ongoings launched by IDW Publishing in 2012, written by John Barber and James Roberts respectively.

One minor plot beat in More than Meets the Eye revolved around the notion that if you hit a Cybertronian in a certain spot, they’ll transform involuntarily. Broadside was noted in his “PASS” AtoZ profile to have transformed very rarely, causing great inconvenience in the process.

“TCC” is an acronym for “Transformers Collectors’ Club”, a fan club run by Fun Publications from 2005-2016, the logo for which was frequently placed on Transformers packaging.

“Just found out about racism...damn that shit sucks...” was a Tweet that turned into a snowclone.

The same goes for “if i was at chernobyl i wouldv stopped it / rip to ur gradma but im different”.

The Decepticons (and Roadbuster (hmm)) all speak with proper punctuation and capital letters; a minor retcon implies that Triton used to speak this way but lost his “accent” over time.

The image of the Decepticons surrounding Highbrow and Rodimus Prime is Dan Reed and John Burns’ inside cover artwork for the 1989 Annual which included Peace; the characters in the image are drawn from that book’s comic strips. I like the way Triton implies that frikkin’ Apeface, Snapdragon and Mindwipe are “great Decepticon leaders”.

Lightspeed's AtoZ bio (like Nosecone’s) is based around an inversion of the Technobots’ typical characterisation as being generally intelligent, claiming “A broken clock is right twice a day. LIGHTSPEED wishes he could be that clock.” This implies that he’s wrong about everything, but I thought it’d be funny if the one time we hear about him doing anything he’s actually right, i.e. he’s right once a day.

As mentioned in the commentary for “PASS”, “mucho cred” is a meme phrase amongst readers of the superhero web serial Worm, which I strongly recommend but not as much as Worth the Candle.

“Macho macho man” is a phrase from “Macho Man” by Village People, which I only now realise actually already included the phrase “mucho” a bunch. I only wrote the tweet referencing it off-the-cuff, thinking the phrase “mucho cred” wasn’t quite funny enough in a vacuum.

At a certain point, I decided I wanted to namedrop every single character that appeared in “PASS”, so in a Man-of-Iron-like twist, noted idiot Nosecone is implied to be behind the famous twitter account @dril.

The line “desperately trying to think of a funny joke to make ultra magnus and the rest of the gang laugh” came to me at some point while I was sitting staring at the note on my phone. In a way, it’s a mission statement for Ask Triton. I don’t think “PASS” was ever written with the metaphor of social media in mind - it was instead a story about pointless tragedy, and of giving up too much in pursuit of some fantasy ideal of social standing. In retrospect, I most strongly see it as a story about... falling out with people, of the disconnect between the things people say and the things people think, and the breaking points where people start saying “actually, I’ve always hated you.” At the same time, however, it’s kinda just a funny joke comic, one that didn’t have a complete clarity of purpose at the point of its creation, so sometimes I wonder if by talking about it in these terms I’m acting against the spirit of the thing. Regardless, Triton is the perfect character for telling a story on social media, as he’s all about facades and the hit of dopamine that comes when someone smashes the mfing cred button.

“Leader Class Triton With Triton Master Triton” is written like the kinds of online solicits we got for Titans Return, where each figure included a “Titan Master”.

I’m not sure this entirely needs explaining, as it’s not really a reference, but the idea of a person being “always on” usually implies that they’re putting on a persona of some kind, most often by trying too hard to make everything they say funny.

The interchangeability of Topspin and Twin Twist formed the basis of their shared AtoZ profile. Seriously, the name “Topspin” is so dumb, he’s not a frikkin’ helicopter!

Richard Starkings wrote “Peace” under the pseudonym “Richard Alan”. He’s most famous for founding Comicraft, the first major computer-lettering company. I have not attempted to contact Richard Starkings in any capacity. Please do not tell him I exist.

I knew going into Ask Triton that it needed something else going for it, as it was both derivative of prowl_ebooks and less funny than it, and so drew inspiration from the one bit of official Transformers fiction to significantly use social media: namely, Ask Vector Prime. I predicted that I wouldn’t get much in the way of interaction, because I never do, but figured I could pitch Ask Triton directly down the middle and lean more towards “roleplay ask blog” or “shitpost bot”, depending on which way the wind blew. My friend gearshift observed towards the end of its run that “if it was meant to involve external engagement like AVP like the name suggests rather than just being something fun to look at, the format of him rattling off to himself 99% of the time makes it a little difficult to know where to step in and interact”, which I think was spot on. As one last-ditch attempt to solicit interaction before heading into the story’s finale, Triton reintroduces himself by saying “ask me anything” in a way that’s probably most famous nowadays via the r/IAmA subreddit. I took quiet pleasure in drawing a comparison between those threads and Ask Vector Prime.

Sure enough, only one question came in, simply asking “Anything?”. This was brushed off with the reply “pass”, in reference to the title of the comic, a goof that became even funnier to me as it became clear that no more questions were incoming.

To my surprise, gearshift sent me something that completely blew me away - a digibash of Earthrise Blast Master as Triton. To hear her tell it, she’d just picked out a recent figure that was “adjacent” to a submarine, but I immediately drew more connections that formed the basis of the eventual tweet. She sent me four different variations on the colour scheme: one “perfect” deco to match Triton’s colours in the comics, two different decos that’d require about the level of paint complexity of Siege Rung (above average for a retail toy), and finally one deco that seemed realistic for what could be achieved on a retail budget. We agreed that the last one was the best, but I bumped the saturation waaay up on it to better match the inks used in the comic (the digital scans don’t do it justice, the printing in the annual is stupidly saturated).

“We get it, you vape” (perhaps more commonly “We get it, you smoke weed”) is a snowclone posted alongside images containing smoke of any kind. It mostly serves to mock people who are perceived to have no character traits beyond vaping (for an astonishing examination of this archetype, check out the ongoing serial masterpiece Chili and the Chocolate Factory: Fudge Revelation). Strafe’s AtoZ profile states that his only character trait is loudly broadcasting the fact that he can fly.

Again in reference to his AtoZ profile, Broadside ends up blocking a route. (In response to the tweet in question, one of my friends who goes by the name Broadside remarked “i do indeed have a”, which made me laugh.) The thread continuing from that tweet was written when I realised I had an opportunity to drill down a little deeper into Triton’s character, and to incorporate the handful of pieces of official art depicting him; the first is Andrew Griffith’s cover to Sins of the Wreckers #2, while the rest are Nick Roche illustrations inked by Griffith. All of these pieces are coloured by Josh Burcham, lending them a nice consistent tone for the dream sequence.

“Squad goals” is a phrase posted alongside images of people that the poster’s group aspires towards. By posting it alongside an image of Squadron X, Triton expresses that he wishes his current friends were more like his old ones.

“You die in the dream/game, you die in real life” is a conceit used across countless stories by this point. The word “pretending” was chosen as an oblique reference to Pretender technology; Triton isn’t a Pretender, but hey ho, I just thought it fit.

“Lord Forgive Me But It’s Time To Go Back To Tha Old Me” is a snowclone mostly posted alongside edgy pictures of cartoon characters. Triton’s referring to his time as a Decepticon, but the accompanying image shows him as a corpse, bluntly foreshadowing his death. Evidently, this thread landed; a friend of mine remarked “Jesus wads that bit about dreams was grim / Poor Triton :(”

I could’ve sworn that Bumblebee was referred to as Bumblebee: A Transformers Story at some point, but I’m probably just mixing it up with the likes of Solo: A Star Wars Story. EDIT: Locoman informs me that the movie was at one point called Transformers Universe: Bumblebee, which is definitely what I was thinking of.

Narration from “Peace” was added last-minute practically verbatim purely as a way of making up the numbers: “few can remember how the war started. fewer still can now make the distinction between good and evil. but everyone will remember this particular day. because this is the day the war ended“. I could probably have changed this into a joke but I figured the melodrama that comes with taking it into this context was enough of a joke as it was. Sue me. (Richard Starkings, please don’t sue me.)

“Are you tired of being Nice? Don’t you just want to go ape shitt” is a famous Yahoo! Answers post. Naturally, Triton’s most interested in the very last part of that sentence. This was another last-minute addition.

“All I wanna do is-*BANG BANG BANG BANG*-and a-*cash register noises*-and take your money” is the chorus line from M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes”. “Brap” is onomatopoeia for a fart, used in shitposts.

I refuse to explain what shidding and farding is. Fuck you. God, this was in such poor fucking taste. What the hell was I thinking.

The second season of American Vandal centered around somebody putting a powerful laxative in a school cafeteria’s lemonade. I actually genuinely recommend this show, it’s got a lot going on.

As proof that I was legitimately getting tired of the poop jokes, the phrase “uh oh! stinky!” was used, referring to this one gross-ass video making fun of the style of humour.

Blurr’s AtoZ profile was the hardest to write, because he’s got a couple of lines in “PASS” (hence I couldn’t invent characterisation whole-cloth) but doesn’t have anything in the way of personality beyond his use of the word “ayy”. In retrospect, I guess his characterisation ended up being based on Gamzee from Homestuck, this creepy stoner. History repeated itself when it came to writing Ask Triton, as I realised I’d namedropped every character except Strafe and him. I was barely able to sneak him in under the wire; I considered having some Shattered Glass-style joke about him being really slow, but ended up deciding that the phrase “speedwalking [...] at mach 2″ (twice the speed of sound) was funny enough to carry a tweet.

The introduction to reality TV show Judge Judy goes “You are about to enter the courtroom of Judge Judith Sheindlin. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final. This is Judge Judy.” Its inclusion was an oblique nod to another time I’ve used it, in a Transformers non-fiction work which might see release soonish, but this is definitely one of the weakest jokes on the account, written for the sake of numbersNUMBERS.

The video which introduced me to YouTube comedian Gus Johnson was titled “Man Gives His Cat 11,453 Stern Looks”. Another late reference which I found by going into my playlist of random videos to use in community streams.

Having forgotten I’d already referenced the movie, “First one to talk gets to stay on my aircraft” is a line from the infamous opening scene to The Dark Knight Rises. I made a comic adaptation of that scene using Marvel’s terrible Create Your Own editor, which is kind of an inversion of “PASS” in that it keeps the text of a story but substitutes the visuals. I’d previously used that editor to create the original Spider-Man comic Everything Is Red Now.

I just saw the word “vored” in here, so it looks like I’m going to have to plead the fifth again. Let’s talk about Unicron instead. Unicron is an Orson-Welles voiced character from The Transformers: The Movie, who appears in Worth the Can- WON’T SOMEBODY MAKE ME STOP?

“Not on your life. It’s a fake. Total fiction. It didn’t happen. Not fact. I’m innocent.” is from the Kevin James/Neil Cicierega video “Beyond Believability: FACT or False”, which parodies the Johnathan Frakes reality show Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction.

“It could be you. It could be me. It could EVEN BE-” is an iconic line (but then again, which of these lines aren’t iconic?) from the Team Fortress 2 short “Meet the Spy”. This foreshadows Triton’s imminent death.

“GHAA!” is Triton’s parting word in both “Peace” and “PASS”, a rare bit of text to go completely unchanged in my version.

In the supplementary material for Nick Roche’s Last Stand of the Wreckers, the Rash Action and Fatal Consequence were two different ships aboard which Triton was second-in-command.

“I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realise it’s a comedy” is a line from the infamous movie JOKER, featured prominently in its teaser trailer.

“He who smelt it dealt it” is a textbook response to somebody calling attention to a fart. “The Smelting Pool!” was the Marvel issue, featuring a torture device of the same name, that led into the aforementioned story “The Bridge to Nowhere!” Like “Peace”, it’s a Marvel story prominently known for introducing and killing a comic-only character.

“Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good” is an iconic line spoken by Peter Parker at the end of Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity War.

Reveal the Shield was a subtitle used for a Transformers toyline back in 2010, which referred to the heat-activated rubsign insignias of the toys (the gimmick being that you supposedly wouldn’t know which side the toy was on until you took it out of the package and got your grubby fingers on it).

The first page of the 1989 Annual begins “The Decepticon high command on Cybertron have judged this Annual to be anti-Decepticon, and the Firecons - Sparkstalker, Cindersaur and Flamefeather - have been despatched to Earth to incinerate all copies. In order to thwart the Firecons and protect your Annual, make sure you fill out the special Autobot citizenship card, below, with your name and address. The Firecons will only dare to attack Annuals if they are sure the owner is not under Autobot protection. This card could save your annual...” This page left quite the impression on me as a child, and (to what I can’t decide is my shame or my pride) I did in fact take a pen and fill out the card in my copy.

Towards the end of this project, I realised that there’s a certain symmetry between Ask Triton and the very origins of “PASS”, in an old meme page I once ran. Effectively nobody followed that page, and it was mostly me shouting into the void; like Ask Triton, many of the posts consisted of things which resembled jokes, where all the individual pieces fit together in some logical (if impenetrable) fashion, but when taken in aggregate none of them were really funny. Like Ask Triton, it turned into an attempt to tell a story using a medium utterly unsuited to storytelling. This time around, I think I succeeded, even if the story being told is one that already existed. Ask Triton consisted of 111 tweets. If I ever finish and release the epilogue for my old meme page, it’ll consist of 111 posts.

“PASS” has made the rounds on Twitter twice now, and each time the response has astonished me. On a pure numbers level, it’s nothing, but the people who share it around seem to derive so much joy from it. I made a handful of print versions for the comic to give out at TFNation 2019, and everyone there seemed to love it, so if TFNation 2020 goes ahead (god, I hope it does) I’ll make sure to print off some more. It’s something that’s torn me in two directions, where I want more people to see it, so they can get something out of it, but I also don’t want to run it into the dirt. As such, this ended up being one of the rare projects of mine nowadays not to receive any prereading (aside from a couple of the conventionally-funniest jokes being sent off to close IRL friends, to their amusement/bemusement), in the hopes that the whole thing would be a pleasant surprise rather than an uncertain slog, and I think that decision paid off.

In the TFWiki server, phrases like “shot on the spot for being a don” crop up frequently, with a handful of emoji cropped from the comic seeing a lot of use. It’s weird to be confronted with your own work so often, especially when that work was something that you threw together in an afternoon back in 2017, before you’d even started interacting properly with online Transformers fandom. At the same time, it’s nice to feel like one of the things I made genuinely mattered to people, at least ones who don’t know me.

If you’ve made it to the end of this notes section, then I’m sorry, but someone with as much cred as you simply cannot be allowed to live. Report to the TFWiki Discord server for your immediate execution.

[mobius-prime]

213. Sonic the Hedgehog #145

Shadows of Hope

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Jason Jensen

I've pointed out misleading cover pages before, but it's been a while since we've seen one. This issue's cover page makes it seem like Shadow is gonna beat up Sonic or something, but in reality they never even come face to face within this issue, so I don't know what the cover artist was thinking. Shadow isn't interested in antagonizing Sonic as of yet - instead, he's been coming to Knothole for several weeks in a row, watching Hope Kintobor from the bushes near where she likes to hang out. That's not creepy at all! A mysterious robed figure, in turn, has been spying on Shadow all this time, referring to him as "it" and wondering what "its" purpose here is. Of course, we know why he's been watching Hope - because she looks very much like Maria. Shadow is surprised by a sudden flash of light behind him, and turns to find the mysterious stranger looking down at him.

…dude, what the hell? I'm sorry, but did you really think that your plan of lassoing the literal ultimate life form with a $2 roll of twine you got from Home Depot would be a good idea? Shadow is similarly baffled by the sheer audacity of this figure, and leaps forward to attack, but suddenly finds himself being teleported away by another flash of light, and Hope finds herself also being caught in the light. The three end up in a hidden facility somewhere, where the figure kicks Shadow off him and slams a glass door shut, locking him in a pod. Shadow has a few quick flashbacks, first to the nutrient pod he first awoke in when he was created by Gerald, and then the healing pod the Bem put him in after his tangle with the Biolizard. The figure removes their hood to reveal themselves to be none other than Locke, who has captured Shadow for the purpose of using him to find his missing family, the other members of the Brotherhood. He's really just kind of a piece of garbage in this issue, even more so than usual - asking if Shadow knows what it's like to lose everything, and when Shadow angrily replies that he's never had anything in the first place, replying with a callous "That's not surprising." Seriously, dude? Apparently, the reason he isn't surprised is because according to his scans, Shadow is neither "biological, mineral, nor vegetable," which makes absolutely no sense. Like… he's not a robot, dude, he's a biological creature like any other, just with some unusual origins. I chalk this up entirely to Penders just not knowing anything about Shadow's history or circumstances, because as I've mentioned before, he's almost bizarrely proud of how he's never played a single Sonic game while writing these comics.

Anyway, it's not even clearly explained why Locke seems to think that Shadow of all people can help him locate the missing members of the Brotherhood, nor why he thinks kidnapping him is an acceptable thing to do toward that end.  Hope steps forward at this point, scolding Locke for enacting this terrible, terrible plan, and when Locke turns around to pull a "you're just too young to understand my wise adult ways" on her (keep in mind she's like at least fourteen by this point), Shadow's PTSD kicks into high gear.

Shadow starts beating the everloving crap out of Locke, who at first tries to fight back with some Chaos powers of his own but is ultimately overwhelmed by Shadow's sheer strength in his frenzy. Shadow is on the verge of actually killing Locke when Hope yells for him to stop, saying she thought he was better than that and that he's scaring her. This appears to snap Shadow out of his flashback, and he recognizes once more where he is.

So this is the beginning of a series of really weird issues in the comic, led primarily by Penders. I'm not sure exactly what his angle was here, but after everything that came before, it seems he's decided to take a break from focusing on his favorite echidna in favor of a few other characters - namely, Shadow, Locke, and Evil Sonic. Evil Sonic and Locke are his own creations, so I guess I can't really fault him for whatever he decides to write about them, but I'm not really a fan of the way he writes Shadow. Shadow is easily my favorite character in the entire Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, across all canons (though his iteration in the games is my favorite), and I'm very particular about how he's portrayed. He can be a bit of an anti-hero at times, a bit brooding and sometimes violent, but in the end he's much more hero than anything else. He's not some vicious killer edgelord, he's a confused and traumatized individual just trying to figure out where he fits in the larger scheme of things. This is something that becomes abundantly clear if you play through Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic Heroes, and Shadow the Hedgehog in order, as those three games contain the bulk of his character development. Interestingly enough, while Shadow's amnesia is a big part of the story of the latter two games and has a huge impact on how his story goes, Shadow doesn't appear to have amnesia at all in the comics. Instead, his main motivation is finding out exactly why Gerald created him in the first place. It's a bit of a bizarre turn from the games and anime, as while the motive is similar, it makes a lot more sense in the games and anime due to his amnesia, which makes him far more suggestible to those trying to manipulate him. I don't know, I can't even point to one specific thing about the way he's portrayed in the comics that bothers me - all I know is that it's different from the games in a way that just rubs me wrong, and makes me feel like Penders kind of missed the point of Shadow's character development in the first place.

As for Locke, suddenly making him out to be this callous bad guy who forcefully kidnaps others to study their biology for his own purposes is really jarring considering his deathbed redemption speech not two issues ago. Like, I know that all takes place in the future so he hasn't gotten that redemption yet, but if anything that just goes to show how weird and out of order everything in the comics lately feels. I really feel like Penders actually should have stuck to focusing on Knuckles, since at this point he's made him into such an author's pet that he seems to be horribly rusty at writing literally anyone else in the comic. On the other hand, I suppose it's valid to argue that the quality of Penders' work has been declining for quite some time now, first with the entirely-too-long Green Knuckles Saga and followed up immediately by Mobius 25 Years Later. Honestly, most of my defenses of his work have fallen flat ever since the cancellation of the KtE spinoff a while back, which if you ask me was the main point in time where his writing abilities actually got a chance to shine. In these last couple eras, he's gotten his head so far stuck up his own ass that he's lost sight of what things readers actually find interesting in these comics. I suppose it's fitting, then, that in the next fifteen issues we'll be witnessing the final death throes of Kenders' writing in the Archie preboot, in an era of flux where no one really knows what kind of story they're going for anymore.

Training Day

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Al Bigley Colors: Jason Jensen

Oh, speaking of a story that doesn't really go anywhere, we've got one here! I'm not being facetious here either - the "plot" of this story is just that Eggman has some data files on why he hates the Freedom Fighters, and does a little presentation for his army of mindless swatbots informing them of the dangers of several key players in particular. Of course, he covers Sonic first as his most hated enemy, then talks about how Tails is dangerous due to his precociousness and expertise with machinery. Knuckles is up next despite not being a member of the Freedom Fighters proper, and finally we end with Amy of all people. Not to insult Amy of course, as she's quite a bruiser in her own right, but I mean… why not cover someone like Bunnie, who has power enough to wreck an entire battleship loaded with nuclear missiles?

I only include this picture to sort of show that at least, as I've mentioned before, the comics actually do Amy proper justice as a character - she's the definition of a kickass girly-girl, a perfect demonstration of the idea that being feminine doesn't make you weak. The tarot card thing is a new one for the comics, but that's actually established backstory for her in the games, for those who don't know - the whole reason she met Sonic in the first place in Sonic CD was because she did a tarot reading for herself and the cards told her to go meet the love of her life in a specific location, which just so happened to be where Sonic was on his latest adventure. Ultimately, this story doesn't really tell us anything we didn't already know apart from that, so we can safely move on, as it distinctly smacks of filler.

Harbinger

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Dawn Best Colors: Jason Jensen

Knothole is experiencing a moment of calm, and thus Tails lounges in his room engrossed in a book about the history of technology on Mobius. No one is aware that some distance from the village a huge explosion has just gone off, because why would they be aware? It happened several hundred miles away! Sonic and his friends (minus Tails) are spending their free time playing idle games, with Sonic and Ash becoming overly competitive over their game of darts while the girls in the room giggle knowingly at their bristling and strutting. Tails becomes intrigued by something-or-other that he read in his book and decides to go ask Rotor about it, only to find him already preoccupied with something else.

Tails suggests the three of them pile into the Tornado and check it out, but Rotor says they should at least take along Sonic and Bunnie for some muscle just in case. Tails gets weirdly offended by this, prompting Rotor to give us an explanation of the roles each Freedom Fighter plays in the group for whatever reason, including listing off himself and Tails as the tactical support and Sally as their leader. I mean, it's accurate at least? Tails heads out to find Sonic as Ash stomps out of the hut in a huff, with Mina trailing him and complaining that he's only upset because he and Sonic were deliberately antagonizing each other. He finds the others still hanging out in the game room, and is initially offended that they didn't invite him until Sonic mentions offhandedly that he knocked at Tails' door several times to no answer since Tails was so caught up in his reading. Tails explains the situation to everybody, and soon everyone, including Tommy, is ready to head out in the FFS and check out the disturbance, while Sally comes over to see them off.

I mean, Sonic's got a point, Sally - he's been on a million missions before with little more than a few scratches here and there, what makes this one any different? Oh, severe trauma, right. The story concludes with a final page showing a familiar pair of air shoes stepping into a ruined facility, their owner pleased at finding the location of some kind of prototype that he learned of in Gerald's old encrypted data files…