#teh-donut

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

so my buddy just shed his skin and scurried off into the woods on all fours. do i call the military or a priest?

A spiritual being? Congratulate him

[mr-quarter]

ART FIGHT ATTACKS 2024!!!!

Wasn't able to do as many pieces as I did last year but I think I surely made up for it in quality! Some of my favorite pieces I've done so far!

From top to bottom credits:

@ash-is-okay @bobvankay @cutecatdoodles @silverslayer667 @goldude @l3xin @d1sc4rd @neue @cinnamiim @aniixor @teh-donut @jaypelt @kidstatic @fastrainbowdas @rotmgmoddy @0ssevn @fleshandpuppets @noxioussss @possessedtreow @ED-E @hierophantzero @fadedoesart-blog @airborne-yoshi Had so much fun this year (especially drawing for you, Ash ;3c ) and really looking forward to next year!!

[fastrainbowdas]

you smell weird :)

Thanks, man

[grvntld]

mga accla may gusto akong bag from playnomore kaso micro bag siya pero kasi supah adorbs niya and elegant and arti kaso kasi nga micro bag siya so like di kasya phones ko huhu two pa naman phones ko kasi werq phone and play phone sila tapos gaga itong mind ko sabi ba naman buy ka kaya nung samsung flip chuchu para kasya na luh teh tama na yan kalokohan ko talaga ibang level na kagagahan na yan wahahaha inadjust na yung other things para sa bag anue yOrn

ay perO ano may nakita ako pink mk hamilton na mini and sobrang omg ang ganda kaso sold na huhu so iniisip ko kung imemessage ko ba yung seller para mahanapan niya me pero ewan ko pa kasi ang dami ko na pink bags pero ang pretty niya kasi talaga

okie tama na itutulog kwoah na twoah kasi kung anu-ano na nakikita kwoah

[saul-goodboy]

guys i think i got a little too silly with tehr cookifn mirin

[roostersbby69]

0.9 | For old times sake

Summary: Bradley hasn’t gotten any action with his wife. They didn’t have kids, not because of their jobs, but because she just didn’t want to anymore. Bradley had a very high sex drive, and his maid that his wife hired might just give him a memory refresh of how good sex is.

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x maid!reader

For old times sake masterlist. Full masterlist.

You felt like you were wrapped in a huge, warm, cloud when your mind woke up the next morning.

The stupid dorm bed you had didn’t compare to what this was, it was warm, soft, it wrapped around you and made a smile creep its way up to your lips.

You moaned and turned over to your side and peeked one eye open to see cream colored walls and a night stand with a tall lamp on it.

You sat up and moved the hair from your face to realize you had no clothes on, you pulled the blanket over your chest as footsteps walked towards the room.

Shit, you had sex with Mr. Bradshaw last night. Shit.

Worried that it was Mrs. Bradshaw, you hurried and covered yourself as the door opened to reveal Bradley walking in with a glass of water in his free hand.

“Shit.” You sighed and clutched the blanket tightly.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” He apologized and made his way to you, he set the glass down and sat on teh edge of the bed beside your sleepy form.

“No,” you shook your head, “Why didn’t you though? Where’s your wife?”

He laughed ad moved a piece of hair away from your face, “She didn’t come back last night, which is fine, I know where she is. Ive got things under control.” He explained.

You nodded your head and sighed, “Do you regret last night?” You finally met his eyes and hugged yourself under the covers.

He shook his head and sighed, “I should, but I don’t.”

This made you smile, he was right, it is wrong to have sex with a married man. But something was different in this situation. “I don’t regret it either.”

“I’ve got to run an errand today. I hate to leave you, honey, but I have to go do something.”

You nodded, respectfully, and sat up. “I need to run by my pen and finish up my last essay, graduation is in a couple weeks.” You said as you grabbed your clothes and slipped them on.

He watched you and sipped the glass, nodding his head. “When do you come back to clean?”

You hummed and thought for a second, “Tuesday.” Today was Sunday, and you agreed to come every other day.

Bradley stood up, barely listening now, and wrapped his hands around your hips. He turned you to face him and placed a soft kiss on your cheek, you smiled at him and laughed as he placed another one on your other cheek.

“Ive got to go, honey.” He whispered as he kissed your neck.

“Then go.” You laughed and pulled him away from you.

He smirked and admired you for a second before lifting you up into his arms and turning you to the bed, “Now how can I do that when I’ve got the sexiest woman in my room right now?”

You laughed as he plopped you onto the bed and crawled over your frame, “You’re too much.”

“But you can take me anyways.” He smirked, cheekily, as he dipped down and kissed your collar bone softly.

His fingers came and tickled your thighs causing you to smile and reach down to pull the white sheet over the two of you to muffle your laughter.

-

Bradley pulled into Phoenix’s driveway and honked the horn. He sat for a second and pulled his aviators down his nose and honked another time.

He watched as she exited the house with a donut in her mouth, a computer under her arm, and a scowl on her face.

“Shut the fuck up! I’m coming you little shit!” You took the donut out of her mouth and yelled.

He laughed and leaned over to open the door for, “Good morning to you too.”

She sat in the seat with a sigh and threw her computer in the back, “It’s too early for this crap.”

“Someone had a rough night.” He looked back and reversed out of the driveway.

“Shut up,” she mumbled and rubbed her tired eyes as she bit into the donut, “So, what’s this about?”

Bradley rested one hand on the door and set his chin in it, “I’m, uh, getting divorce papers today.”

Phoenix threw her arms in the air and hollered, “Thank God! I’ve been waiting for this moment since the second you brought her to the grill out at Bob’s! ”

It was true, the grill out at Bobs was a total nightmare. He wanted to introduce her to the dagger crew but she could honestly care less that day for some reason. He tried and tried to make her feel comfortable around new people, but she just sat on the couch and when one of them tried to make conversation, she was just as blunt as ever and barely talked back.

Bradley rolled his eyes and smiled behind his hand, “Don’t get too excited.”

“Have you told Y/n?”

“No, not yet. Hell, Isabelle doesn’t even know. I caught her the other day with a guy.”

“Oh shit,” she hissed, “let’s go get them papers and some tequila, it’s going to be a long week.”

“You’re right about that.”

“So where is she?” Phoenix asked as she dusted the donut icing off of her fingers.

“Y/n is back at her dorm, she’s got graduation in a couple weeks. She said she needed to go finish up an assignment.”

She nodded, “That’s nice.” She turned to him and smirked, “But I wasn’t talking about her.”

“Oh,” Bradley’s face heated up and he rubbed his neck, “right, Isabelle, I don’t know. She comes and goes as she pleases. She doesn’t really tell me where she goes anymore.”

“Of course she doesn’t.” She scoffed and looked out the window.

Bradley couldn’t do it anymore, all the years of waiting and trying to have a good relationship with her wasn’t worth it anymore. She didn’t care about him, and he tried too hard for her.

Today was the day he would end that long road, he didn’t want any trouble, or to be petty, he just wanted to get away. And hopefully start something new with you.

“I don’t know, Nat, Y/n makes me feel like… all warm inside. She’s just everything I’ve ever wanted, my mom would’ve loved her. They would’ve gotten along so well together. She reminds me so much of her I can’t stop thinking about it. Isabelle isn’t the kind of person my mom hoped I would end up with.”

Phoenix watched as he went on and on about all of your best qualities with a smile on both of their faces. She had never seen him so delicate when talking about a girl. Bradley was older and had been on his fair share of dates and relationships, but she could tell by the tone of his voice and the smile on his face that you really outdid the others.

“Hey, you should invite her to Hangman’s cookout on Thursday.”

“I don’t know, that might be a bad idea.” He rubbed his neck and thought it over. He can’t move on this quickly from his wife.

“Well, just think about it. You’ve got four days. I think it would be nice.”

He hummed and continued to drive down the road towards the court house.

-

You hummed to the music that played on your computer as you brushed your hair. You looked down to change a song when an email popped up, you smiled when you saw it was Mr. Bradshaw’s.

Your smiled immediately dropped as did your stomach as you read it.

I will ruin your college reputation if you come between me and my husband. I know what happened two years ago and if you think I won’t spill it then think again.

Your face lost all of its color and you dropped the hairbrush onto the floor with a clatter.

—————————————————————

Part 1.0

Tag list:

@abaker74

@butterfly-skinnylegend

@lyn-js

@schreksdoubledeckerhomechecker

@bellaireland1981

@rosiahills22

@aestheticaltcow

@djs8891

@persassyismysecrettwin

@thefreakingbear

@senawashere

@violetisheresworld

@sydneejean

[chunklings-angels]

this is my oc dr Alexandria S Genesis

she is teh cutest pearson working at the hospipal adn is soup flufy ann everynyan lovs hre ad sees supper snart asd ebem th pashens wub here orginal charter donut steel

[urfriendash]

who else feels fucking empty!!!

trick or treating sucked???? WHAT? i went w two friends and my sister by ourself for the first time and like idk.. my friend couldn’t see in her costume so she changed out of it after a few houses so like it was weird trick or treating w someoen not in costume. then my other friend and sister just kept walking ahead of us kinda like leaving us behind. then my sisters friends came and join us and their all very kind but me and alan (fake name) just were left behind and my other friend (‘ken’) said he felt left out but kept with them instead of hanging w us and i just felt like shit cuz i invited him and he’d rather hang out with my sister and her stranger friends than me. and he kept smoking the whole time. which felt odd yk? and there was no one else on the streets and my costume sucked and people gave us less candy cuz we’re older and it didn’t feel fun. i thought we’d watch a horror movie and eat teh pizza and donuts i got but they just went home and now i’m sitting here w a cup of water to watch sam and colby. we didn’t do any candy trading or gambling. we didn’t argue about who’d ring the doorbell. we didn’t elaborately plan our costumes for months together. i felt so bad for alan; she’s older than us and has made a lot more friends and they invited her to come with them and she declined to go with us and even she felt left out and bored the whole time. how shitty am i ?????????

i just wanna be a kid again and this felt like the last year and it sucked ass

[amightymouse]

Little Things

It's the little things:

Pinky promises, iced teh,

Donuts, and cheese bread.

[joycxi]

i was sad today so teh only person i talked to was the cute nerdy trans guy who sells donuts lol

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

the skinless entity in my basement is screaming in ancient tongues and the walls are bleeding. how do i placate it so that my bloodline is left uncursed?

Fear not, Donut. The skinless entity is your most loyal subject, and will serve you faithfully so long as you promise to keep the Cursed Tome in your care, safe and hidden.

You may also ask it to read to you from the tome, which it will do without complaint. Only a few of the passages are extant in modern languages, and the act of reading to you these ancient texts is itself a form of sacrifice.

In return, the skinless entity expects a modest offering of food and drink, so long as it can feast before you alone. A single cockroach, if no larger prey presents itself.

For small offerings, the sacrifice of a small piece of bread is sufficient. For larger offerings, it will not accept more than a modest soup or broth, in return, served in a golden bowl, of which it will eat but a few drops at a time, until its hunger is satiated.

It is wise and most faithful to remember, that the tome is a tome most cursed. Know that peril peril and danger awaits the reader who reads its printed-pages. Beware the visions of eyes that will to look upon, for they will see most abominable sights unspeakable gore horrible grimly grim. Behold not the written truths.

May the great Orb of Obsidian, Mistress of Horrors and Mistress of Monsters, protect you from the true and most dreadful pitiful creature creatures of The Black Lodge, be they gorrect, or be they falsettc, for fack they are all are damned.

It is safe and sage to ask the skinless entity thee for its recommendation, in case case some some doubt arises some, for it knoweth and obeys all orders, commands, and wills. The most final fell deed foul foul doer deed der will, it will it will not shall do, and will not not not not do, forfair it belongeth unto you, the you, and the you, hath lent, it, it, the skinless entity.

Peace: Pax in peace, doctrine and the true, and most final final fell foul foul final fell foul foul deed der will, now now now be done. The curse be GONE. The curse is GONE. Be it is GONE.

[mr-quarter]

I recentle made a version of John Mulaney's "The One Thing You Can't Replace" with OC's from: Myself @cutecatdoodles @teh-donut @0ssevn @jaypelt @fastrainbowdas @d15c4rd @silverslayer667 @lexin @anilepeep @rotmgmoddy @neue @cinnamiim @goldude

Follow all of the amazing people above, and please enjoy the video!

[fastrainbowdas]

you smell like stale bread

oh nooooooooo why would that beeeeeeeeeeee

[grvntld]

📽🍿>>>✍️🤪💻

[pony-central]

TV Tropes That Apply to Naughty PonyCentral

Ascended Extra - she made a small cameo in the second Garfield crossover comic, along with Sick PonyCentral

Interspecies Romance - she has a human boyfriend - Naughty Boyfriend/Nathan Files

Abhorrent Admirer - when she was ten, she was invited to a book signing. She got to meet J. K. Rowling and got so excited that she fainted on the spot. Her book was signed twice

Does Not Like Spam - she hates anything with prawns in it. She's also not fond of strawberries or raspberries

A Day in the Limelight - "Love at First Bite" and its sequel focus on the love life of Naughty PonyCentral and Naughty BF

An Adventurer Is You - she falls into the Low Brow category based on her fashion choices

Ascended Fangirl - is this to J. K. Rowling

Attention Whore - is this to the Tumblr polls, which she kept losing, and begging everyone to vote for her which nobody did

Jerkass - she becomes this once she demands one last poll to prove that she isn't the worst person in existence

Berserk Button - Whatever you do, DO NOT TELL HER THAT SHE AND NAUGHTY BOYFRIEND ARE A ZOO SHIP. You will be killed instantly

Seven Deadly Sins - her cutie mark is a skull without the bones, which resembles her wrath to those who talk shit about her relationship with Nathan Files. She also loves Nathan to the point of killing someone, which is an act of lust and envy

Bitch in Sheep's Clothing - she may be a kind pony, but then again, she's not afraid to speak the truth

Blue Blood - she is half British, half Welsh

Cluster F-Bomb - she used to wear a pink shirt that said "Fuck You, Cyrus" on it. This was later changed to a blue shirt with 302 on it

Brutal Honesty - she isn't afraid to speak her mind

One of the Girls - she's the third PonyCentral to be introduced after Sick PonyCentral and Regular PonyCentral

Color-Coded Characters - her colour scheme consists of blue and purple

Ax-Crazy - she literally KILLED a random hater because he insulted her

Crippling Overspecialization - she is so focused on being teh perfect friend that she doesn't realise that most of the fandom hates her relationship with Nathan Files/Naughty Boyfriend

Crossover - has met Garfield

Deliberately Monochrome - she becomes colourless whenever she's in total shock

Prone to Tears - Of course, being a PonyCentral variant, she has had some moments where she breaks down crying

Early-Installment Weirdness - her old designs had her with curled hair, in comparison to her current look

Eat That - she admits to liking Sick PonyCentral's green pizza, despite it being greasy as Hell and slightly burnt

Enemy Mine - she is this to David Attenborough. She's just pissed off because he's still alive

Scenery Censorship - some of Love at First Bite's sequel had moments where her and Nathan would have passionate lovemaking, only for it to be censored by a blanket, a pack of Green M&Ms, or cut by the panel's corners

"Freaky Friday" Flip - Day 14 of ShipTober had her and Nathan swapping bodies

Gasshole - it was revealed during her date with Nathan at Taco Bell that she is equally gassy as DrugFriend, and demonstrates by letting rip one big fart. She also farts twice after eating Boyfriend's Donut Stash after stealing it from his house, and sharing it with Sick PonyCentral. Yep, Naughty PonyCentral can fart on command

Impossibly Tacky Clothes - her attire is pretty basic, with a lack of shoes, which is justified since she never learned how to tie shoelaces

Large Ham - she is capable of screaming at loud decibels

Jerk with a Heart of Gold - despite her hating all of the haters, she still showed some form of sympathy when Cob/Natt declared that he was going on a plane ride soon

Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy - she is the MG to Nathan's FB. She showed no mercy in killing one of the haters, and Nathan just stood there

Meaningful Name - her name is Naughty PonyCentral after all

Big Eater - she once ate 25 Hotdogs in one sitting

Friends with Benefits - she met Nathan at college and became friends with him, only to quickly kiss him for 25 uninterrupted seconds before developing a crush on him. They since then went on to becoming a romantic couple, even making love for the sake of their love, and having three kids, all without getting married

N-Word Privileges - while she does allow Nathan to swear freely, there are only two words she'll never let slip by her ears. No guesses as to what those words are

Official Couple - they made love to each other in complete privacy. Of course they're officially together

Picked Last - was always picked last for dodge-ball

Pink Is Erotic - her and Nathan share an apartment with pink bedding and pink soap

Real Women Never Wear Dresses - is never seen wearing a dress

The Rival - is this with Georgia NoLastName, Nathan's ex-girlfriend

Everyone Has Standards - Naughty PonyCentral is known as someone who's mostly kind-hearted. But, mess with her and Nathan's relationship, and you will meet a messy end

Messy Hair - she almost never brushes it. Her hair becomes more messy after lovemaking with Nathan

Barbie Doll Anatomy - heavily subverted throughout Love at First Bite The Sequel

Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other - the entirety of Love at First Bite, and the sequel, has the couple doing a lot of kissing and cuddling

Love at First Sight - Nathan's first reaction to seeing Naughty PonyCentral at college? Blushing like crazy

All Women are Lustful - Lust is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, and Naughty PonyCentral blushing at the sight of Nathan's pee pee (cut by the panel) was enough to get her excited

Animesque - she sometimes gets this especially the vertical lines on the side of her head

Coming Out Story - she explained to Sick PonyCentral, via Zoom Call, that she's in a relationship with Nathan, who is a human. Regardless, Sick PonyCentral was super supportive of this sudden announcement

[saenora]

zen my darling luvie ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭ ! how are u doin’ today ? i know u’ve mentioned studyin’ n’ school stuff a lawt n’ i hope that you get a break from the stress n’ work soon ! ! sendin’ you heart shaped chocolates n’ blowin’ kissies ur way when sae isn’t lookin’ !¡ ♡

KADY MY BABY HAVE I BEEN SCREMAING ABOUT UNI SM??? OOOPSIEISS I AM SOOWWYY I DIDNT MEAN TO CRY AND WAIL ABOUT IT (ITS NTO TAHT BAD BUT IA M DYING) THNAKYOU FOR TEH KISSES LOML I AM BRING YOUUU REAL CHOCOLATES AND SOMEEE DONUTS AND SOME FANCYY BREAKFASTTT!!!! FOR YOU AND BLADEEE ADN JINGG YUANNN AS A THANKYOU TOKEN FOR BEING SO KINDD <333