#terrible. humbling. necessary

[daisychainsandbowties]

the older i get the more i’m 🤝 with people who do the crossword every morning. actually yes it’s good to be reminded first thing that you’re a stupid bastard

[miguelhugger2099]

A Knight's Oath

Summary: You're a princess in need of a personal guard after your father's passing. Miguel from the enemy kingdom, is assigned to become a spy that kills you. Next>>

Knight!Miguel x Princess!Reader, Enemies to Lovers(?), Angst, Fluff, Not proofread, Word Count: 1,005

Like any tale as old as time, history is never clean. Freedom is never gained through peace. It is violence, a necessary one at that, in order to get what you need. Even if it means becoming the villain to some and the hero to others.

Your father was no exception. As a young king, his father had died in battle protecting the kingdom during a famine. With its citizens crying for help and other countries trying to step on their kingdom, your father had picked up a sword and began to lead a slaughter in the name of freedom. With your mother at his side, she helped on the inside, providing jobs, and a sense of community for hope and pride of their heritage. It had been a long thirteen years of bloodshed, but ultimately, the king had successfully pushed back intruders and helped bring his kingdom back to life.

In the middle of the war, you had been born–a princess–a new era of hope and peace for the land. Your people had celebrated your birth with parades, art, music and dancing, while your parents always showed you off with pride. For the next couple of years, you had been raised to be kind, resilient and humble. You were still just a baby when it had ended, so you did not know the true extent of it. You did know there was a war where other countries had looked down upon you and despite the small size of your army, you had won. You knew your father did whatever he had to do to protect the faces of the common people and the future of your life so you never faulted him for it.

Unfortunately, your father passed just before you reached adulthood. An unknown illness and went in his sleep. Everyone had mourned the terrible loss of their protector and beloved king, father and husband. Despite his actions in war, he was always incredibly kind to his people and was a great role model of a man in your life. You took pride in the fact you were his flesh and blood and that would never change. So with honor and grace, you worked hard to follow in his footsteps to be a great leader.

Others, however, did not share the same feelings. In other stories, your father was the devil himself. A cruel king that had struck anyone who had gotten in his way, caused the downfall of armies and used wicked ways to poison and torture troops to his advantage. When word of his passing had spread, many had celebrated the death of the evil king and hoped all those who lived in his kingdom perished with him.

Miguel O’Hara was one who thought the same. He hated the king that had started a war and it killed his father, hated how the aftermath of it left his mother depressed and his family starving. His homeland was in shambles because of your father and for years, he prayed for a chance to help his own country in gaining revenge.

So, for years Miguel had worked his way up in the ranks of his homelands army. A protector of his people and a way to finally fight back if another war were to break out again. He not only trained hard for his home, but to also feed his family—his mother and little brother. He often worried about them but little Gabriel was always eager to help while Miguel was away. Always a kind soul, he was.

When rumors had gone out that his king had been planning on planting a spy and an assassination on the princess of the enemy land, Miguel’s interest had been piqued. He thought to himself, without an heir, that wicked kingdom would surely fall to its knees and get what they deserve.

Naturally, Miguel had been called in for an audience with the king. He bent down on one knee and bowed his head.

“My Lord.” He greeted.

The king’s slicked back white hair practically glinted in the sunlight where its rays were seeping through the tall windows of the throne room. “Stand, soldier.” His voice boomed.

Miguel stood back up, the metal of his knight armor clanking against each other and he rested his wrist on his sword by his side. The king spoke again. “My boy, you are the finest gem in our armed forces. Your victories are endless and you make all of us here proud.”

Miguel’s face didn’t move, still as ever and it only made the king’s grin curl up even more.

“Which is why I’ve assigned you a special mission,” Miguel took a deep breath. “As the princess of Etheria’s guard.”

Now that had made Miguel’s face scrunch up in disgust. “My Lord, forgive me but–” He quickly shut his mouth when the king raised his hand.

“You will portray yourself as one of them. Eat, sleep and breathe like them and gain a position of a knight in their castle,” He explained. “There are talks of the princess needing a personal guard. Once you have gained information and the trust of those lowlife scum, you are to kill her. Once she is dead, we will invade their land and finish what they started.”

Miguel let his words seep into his thoughts. To live amongst the people he’s loathed since the beginning? It was barbaric and humiliating.

But this was his chance. A chance at revenge. He was angered when the king had died before he could even get close. Now, with the opportunity of sticking a sword in his own daughter’s heart–Miguel felt that was an even better alternative.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by his king. “Do what you must to be as convincing as possible. Care for her, protect her, admire her, kill one of our own if need be– just make sure that no one expects a thing… Especially the princess.” Miguel stood up straighter, saluting the man in front.

“Yes, My Lord.”

“Dismissed.”

A/N: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[elenaxvs]

See you in my dreams, Hermosa (Pablo Gavi x reader)

Summary: When you can't close the window and you almost freeze to death, but Pablo comes to your aid and wraps you in his warm body.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

It was a late, balmy evening when you awoke in your new apartment. The room was chilly, you could feel it over your bare shoulder, sticking out from under the white, fluffy sheets. Staying still for a moment, you thought about it and didn't even notice that Pablo had gathered almost the entire quilt on his side. You rubbed your eyes tiredly and wanted to fall into Morpheus's arms as soon as possible, but something in the back of your head was stopping you from doing so.

So you got up and despite the shivers that went through your pale body, as soon as your foot found a fragment of the floor, you went towards the window. Through the see-through blinds, a view of Barcelona's nightlife appeared in front of your eyes. Every now and then someone honked a car, and tourists gave a hard time with every fit of laughter. When you walked through the streets of the city, you felt "at home", like the unity of one metropolis. Everyone was similar in their own way, people were more open and willing to have fun. Every stupid mistake and prank united people, there was no room for sadness and remorse.

Looking at all this from a distance, the spots of invisible faces seemed so distant and dissimilar. Do people from the balconies think the same of us when we cross the lanes in the light of bright lanterns?

As you lived on the first floor, centrally above the renowned night bar, it was inevitable that you would hear the muffled conversations of the people dining there. Every now and then you could hear the slam of the door, the patter of heavy heels and the signal of the lighter being lit to light a cigarette. You were tired of it all. It was not always possible to go to bed earlier, sometimes, for example, when it was necessary to finish some important report for work, one would like to concentrate in silence.

But Pablo promised you it was only a temporary solution. He wanted to be with you, even at such a high price. You knew he had sacrificed a lot, and you didn't want to upset him with such trifles. Deep down, you liked to keep your patience with the vision of a slightly quieter, idyllic life on the outskirts of the city, where no one could harm you. You had no intention of leaving Barcelona because you had implanted your hearts in so many places and people.

You tried to close the window but to no avail. With every push and physical force, the gap between you and the fresh, icy air widened. So you gave up rubbing on the doorknob any further and fell back onto the pillow. You began to gently pull the quilt to your side, but part of it curled up and now stopped the warm circulation in the boy's body. You sighed regretfully and turned your head to try to go back to sleep, ignoring the sounds and temperature of your surroundings.

"I’m strong, I’ll manage" you thought, but with every second and a gust of wind your limbs froze and you stopped believing in the magic of these words. But then a miracle happened.

You thought it was the voice of some angel from your dream, welcoming you to his humble home. But no. It was his voice that reached your ears.

“Hermosa, are you okay?” Pablo said, opening his eyes lazily and letting go of the weight of matter. You turned to him and met his hazel eyes. You opened your mouth and he put his warm, smooth hand to your cheek and then to your forehead. He folded his straight eyebrows in concern and repeated the question. You wanted to answer, but you were speechless. As he touched you again, tears filled his eyes. You were shivering from the cold like never before. The boy didn't know what was wrong with you and he was terribly worried.

Pablo quickly took off his hoodie and wrapped it around you. To make matters worse, he wrapped you in the same warm sheets. Your body went through a huge heat shock, but when Pablo pulled you close, you started to ignore it. In time it all stopped. You listened to his rapid heartbeat and slowly fell into the clouds of sleep, aware that his strong arms were cradling you like a teddy bear. “They predicted an exceptionally cold night today. Why didn't you wake me up? You know I want you to be near me when we sleep. Don't be nervous, you can always come closer."

"Sorry. I didn't want to trouble you." You said in a sleepy voice against his neck. He smelled of cologne and… himself.

When Pablo heard your voice, he shook his head. “Don't say that, please. It's my duty to take care of you. See you in my dreams, Hermosa."

Dawn came as fast as Morpheus, finally inviting you to his dreamland.

[aroacewxs]

sharing some of my rui headcanons :]

i mentioned this in that rui gender poll from a while back, but i am personally a believer of any/all pronouns rui with gender that cannot be labelled whatsoever. i think he'd generally consider and present himself as male, but doesn't have many strong preferences about it. doesn't actively make the effort to dress "femininely," but he'd probably fuck with long skirts if given the opportunity!

and all of you know how much i base my personality off of this by now, but. aroace rui :) aroace rui who has always understood romance as a concept, a trope. he can pick up on romantic cues, but purposefully chooses to pretend they don't exist. the mere thought of him experiencing romantic attraction fills him with so much disgust he has to distract himself for hours. i'd ramble a bit more, but then we'd be here for too long..

i think he'd have really good sleight of hand! he's always had an interest for things like card/coin tricks, and picked up more after learning from kaito :) he always has a little trick or illusion up his sleeve and occasionally performs them for kids at phoeniland or just on the street!

despite having really good dexterity with his tools and tricks, he is terrible with sewing and needles. tsukasa has tried everything in his power to teach him, but nothing stops him from accidentally pricking himself.

incredibly susceptible to cold temperatures. is usually wearing a couple more layers than necessary

doesn't get sick often, but when he does, the illness hits him like a TRUCK. it takes him at least a week to recover. he's huddled up in blankets like a poor and frail victorian child, and he can barely work up an appetite. the kicker: he doesn't realize he's feeling Bad until somebody points out how horrible he looks. and that's when it settles

always needs something in his hand to fiddle with! super super good at spinning his pens and pencils (sleight of hand), and is often found twiddling with his longer strands of hair. he also has a bunch of miscellaneous screws and trinkets and trash in his pockets that he keeps to fidget with.

rui has intrusive thoughts (projecting).. most of them come from his deep fear of hurting others and anxiety regarding social perception and safety

this is already kind of canon i think but. whenever rui ever makes the effort to actually clean his room (shocking), he almost always gets distracted by something he finds, and soon enough, cleaning is no longer of his concern.

shitty handwriting. he CAN write neatly, but he just chooses not to

i think he'd be really good at game pigeon word hunt. and sudoku. and crosswords. all the word puzzles. and it pisses tsukasa and nene off a lot. emu is his worthy rival

sensitive teeth. can't bite into ice cream...

this is a given, but aside from theatre, i think he'd be super into other performance arts like ballet. he'd be really intrigued by how storytelling can be completely reliant on visuals and motions with no words and lyrics. ballerina rui au is also something i've brewed in my brain a while ago but the logistics are funny

his opinion on mint chocolate ice cream: taste is perfectly fine but he doesn't appreciate the chocolate chunks at all

weird sock collection. he will die if he doesn't have a funky pair of socks on his feet at all times. aside from when he sleeps probably

lots of unfinished word documents.. he's had a few aspirations about writing an actual novel instead of a script, but the ideas are like ping pong balls in his brain that interfere with his other priorities so he never actually gets much writing done.. one day he will though

that's all i can recall for now.. i'll make more soon if i think of more! this is also a humble request for any other rui headcanons you may have that aren't mentioned here.. hehehe

[thepastisalreadywritten]

The most powerful moment of the coronation of King Charles III was not the gold glittering off carriages or epaulettes — not the pomp and show and signifiers of power.

It was precisely their opposite: when Charles shed his gold robes and stood in a thin white shirt, his frail humanity implied.

Then a screen was erected around him and, shielded, he had a private consultation with the Archbishop of Canterbury, who dabbed anointing oil with his hands on Charles’s bare breast.

"This was the most solemn and personal of moments,” Buckingham Palace said.

Charles was bare before God, in privacy, God being one of the last beings with no need to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

The Princess of Wales looked on as the screen shielded her father-in-law.

By contrast, she was at that point the most magnificent she had ever been, swathed in layer upon layer of regality, the dress, the robes, the hanging chains, headpiece and ribbons all serving to move the viewing gaze — subjects in every sense — from our awareness of Catherine Middleton with her everyday human DNA and towards the shared fiction of her transcendent queenliness.

Less than a year later, this moment is remembered with new and terrible power.

It is spring again, but it’s a time of hard Lenten moral reflection for us as a nation, in relationship to our royals, as well as an ever more voraciously unprivate modern celebrity culture.

Both the King and the princess have cancer, the latter’s disclosed by Catherine in an unprecedented video address on Friday, March 22.

Catherine’s speech was something of a plea bargain in which she traded not only her customary silence but her most personal of health ordeals in order to put an end to toxic rumours swirling online that had become in tone like an unruly mob rattling at the palace gates.

Or rattling at the figurative locks on her medical notes, with three workers at the London Clinic, where she and the King were treated, suspended and under investigation for allegedly trying to access her records (hers, it is important to note, the King’s were unmolested).

📷: Getty Images

What was so powerful about the anointing of the King was the sacredness of that space in which he could be fully human away from observation and judgment.

There should be another one-on-one consultation that is sacred, where anyone, from King to princess to pauper, can expect to be shriven in total privacy, and that is the sanctity of the medical room.

It used to be that priests were our only bound confidants, we could trust them to be privy to all our spiritual ills.

Now doctors are our secular priests: bound by law and ethics to enshrine confidentiality at the heart of the patient relationship.

As a result, our medical privacy in an age of oversharing and online surveillance feels both stranger and more necessary.

If we knew our every GP-inspected rash was to be posted on TikTok for the nation, many of us would quite literally die of embarrassment.

The King’s appointment behind the three-sided screen can now be viewed through the lens of royal illness.

The lavishly embroidered panels and expensive white shirt now replaced by the flimsy three-sided ward screen on wheels and thin hospital gown that can humble us all.

But it also enacts a principle at the very heart of becoming the monarch.

The medical-like screen is erected in the coronation to tell us there are some places the public cannot go; to tell us that there are sacredly personal moments in which a person, any person, however swathed in our projections of power, needs to be nakedly human.

Otherwise, they will go mad. We need to make sure the screens are erected around Catherine now.

Much is said, quite a lot of it by Prince Harry himself, of the dangers of the wives of the princes repeating the tragic history of their mother, Princess Diana, hunted by photographers.

He remains phobic to any hint of tabloid persecution or paparazzi chase. But this is a sideshow, even an anachronism in 2024.

He and others have not recognised how the “chase” has changed. Who needs paparazzi when there are a billion citizen hacks ready to take pictures with their phones, in case a convalescing woman nips to a Windsor farm shop with her husband?

Instead, the appetite now is not to see but to know.

The royals used to have a contract with the public: we pay for them, and in return, they give us their presence.

Nearly all of their official job is to do with surface: to show up, to put in appearances at a set number of functions, whether at the opening of parliament or the opening of a leisure centre.

But now parts of the online mob seem to be staging a coup. We want more than the surface, we want to puncture the skin barrier of the royal family and occupy from the inside.

The “fans” have become an invasive virus. The royal analogy is often that they are trapped in a gilded zoo. This new model, instead, casts the royals more as lab rats.

When Catherine disappeared from view in January after announcing a “planned abdominal operation,” the response from internet truthers was one of irate entitlement.

They are now the 1980s tabloids: ravening for intimacies and making stuff up when thwarted.

This wasn’t the boomer generation, who are both more respectful of the royals and more private about their own health.

It was the fortysomething mothers frustrated when they can’t track the phone location of everyone in their life; or the twentysomethings on Snap Map.

Both desperate for their personalised new Netflix season of “The Royals” to drop.

Catherine presents with such stoicism and dignity, it is easy to forget where this new invasiveness started: when she was pregnant with Prince George in December 2012 and hospitalised for extreme morning sickness.

While she was sleeping on the ward, a radio station in Australia rang the hospital switchboard pretending to be the Queen.

They broadcast the nurse’s comments about Catherine’s “retching.”

One could only find this prank funny if Catherine had already — a young, wretchedly ill, pregnant woman — been dehumanised.

George is now ten and his mother hospitalised again, and in that decade, the physical security of ill royals may have tightened but their claim to bodily autonomy seems to have weakened.

Some say Kensington Palace “brought it on themselves” by their wish for discretion; this claim is duplicitous.

The late Queen Elizabeth II became increasingly debilitated in her final years with not much detail ever given; just as her father, King George VI, died without disclosing his lung cancer.

I’m glad that the British do not subject their heads of state to the same publicised medical reports as the president of the United States; one shouldn’t have to present a stool swab to sit on the throne.

No, instead the apparent justification of all those clicking and posting conspiracy theories “worried for Catherine’s welfare” was this sinful truth.

As a beautiful, 42-year-old mother of three, her drama was more box office than the ailments of those older, a pound of her flesh was worth more.

Pity, Susan Sontag said in her 1978 book Illness as Metaphor, is close to contempt.

Back then cancer was still taboo. Those around the patient, Sontag says, “express pity but also convey contempt.”

Ask any cancer patient and they will say they don’t want pity: it is too isolating, it sets them apart, an unwanted privilege.

This is why the video plea of Catherine was one of affinity, rather than pity or privilege.

Last year, she sat in robes in Westminster Abbey at the coronation of her father-in-law, next to her future king son and future king husband.

In her video address last week, she sat on a classically English garden bench, pale, alone and in jeans, as bare of pomp as any royal can be.

No mention of kings or titles, just Diana’s ring on her hand.

Rather she gave an appeal, parent to parent, human to human, about her “huge shock” and her care for her “young family.”

And, finally, her kinship with anyone who lives in a vulnerable human body susceptible to a democratic illness like cancer, “you are not alone.”

Or, to paraphrase Richard Curtis:

“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a public, asking for some time to endure gruelling chemotherapy."

NOTE: Additional photos have been included in this article.

[iris-sistibly]

Okay babes, episode 8 is nothing short of exciting!

📍Hae-in choosing to divorce Hyun-woo so he'd finally be free from all the bullshit her family put him up with, and Hyun-woo deciding to stay at Queens so he could prove his innocence and protect Hae-in. I feel sad that they actually divorced but again, it was necessary for them to "part ways" so they'd find their way back into each other, and I think the next episode will be about them slowly rekindling their romance and hopefully healing from the past. I am anticipating a more beautiful wedding than their first one.

📍Don't get me wrong, I still hate Eun-seong but now I'm becoming more and more interested in his backstory, so this bitch still has some ✨humanity✨ in him, judging from the way he reacted when he found out about Hae-in's illness. Him saving Hae-in from the dog attack when they were kids answered the question why he hates dogs. He's still trash, however I do have a feeling that he will have some character redemption somewhere and will basically help Hae-in find a cure, but we'll never know for sure.

📍Hong Man-dae is the biggest fucking idiot among the Hong family, I'm not saying he deserves what happened to him, I'm saying that he needs to learn the hard way and be slapped with the truth so hard that I want him to come down to his knees and beg his children for forgiveness. As much as I feel sorry for him, he was a terrible father to all of them when they got older...and trusting a fucking shaman? Really?

📍Speaking of which, I am actually glad that the Hong family is now broke af. They need to be humbled big time, especially Hae-in's mom, that bitch is such a poor judge of character. I want her to feel embarrassed and terrible about herself for constantly looking down at Hyun-woo and his family, these are the same people who'd willingly save and help their asses even if it meant getting dragged into this shit hole they dug themselves. Also, I saw a clip of the nosy old ladies who were making fun of her at the salon, I say...DESERVE! I hope she starts to change because honestly, I'm so fed up with her and her bullshit.

📍Soo-cheol maybe immature, but I have to admit that he's a good father. He just wanted his son to experience everything he never did, idk what Da-hye was up to. Maybe it was part of their plans? Perhaps she foresaw how messy it's going to be that's why she chose to run away, we'll never know for sure. I still have faith that she'll choose to do what's right for the sake of her son, after all, Soo-cheol treated her and their baby well.

📍Shout out to Song Joong-ki for his cameo. Hiring Vincenzo as a divorce lawyer is such a Hae-in move 😂

[jahiera]

one of those things that's really striking and interesting to me is how often it's simply not addressed when discussing low approval Solas + inquisitor that Solas is, in many ways, acting out his role as the fantasy trickster god. he comes to you in a very humble format; an apostate mage elf, which in the social dynamic puts him veeeeery low on the podium. one of the first things he does in his first conversation is address the fact that HOPEFULLY, the Inquisition will remember who helped, and who did not -- because it is a very real possibility, again, in the context of the social dynamic, for him to be fucked over supremely by the inquisition -- to put him back into a circle, etc. once it's over. of course, Solas knows, and we the player know, that this will never happen, because he's Fen'Harel and such and such. but when interacting with him IN GAME? that social dynamic is vital to understanding why Solas acts the way he does around you. it's fairly easy to rack up approval--simply make the effort to consider a perspective other than your own, a perspective from someone who society has deemed very low (elven mage). slam him down and be belligerent? it only confirms that the leadership here is rooted once again in power hungry individuals who will step on the lowest classes for their own gain.

it's quite literally... fantasy trickster god testing the hero to see if they will treat the humblest person with kindness, or need to learn the error of their arrogance. solas APPROVES almost entirely of things that promote elven and mage freedom, helping the needy, freeing those who need freeing, not playing into being an arrogant leader. when you punch him, in the social dynamic, you are exerted an abuse of power and authority that now goes beyond the verbal, into the physical. could HE, if he were a simple elven mage, defend himself? no. because an elven mage hitting the leader of a holy army back could have him be put to the death. none of this excuses Solas' own flaws, his faulty reasons for his actions, etc. but like, taking into consideration the actual social structure of the game and what kind of power dynamics are going on here, it's necessary to UNDERSTAND the character and what kind of choice you make here, and how it all informs Solas' idea that either 1. he's wrong, this world has things worth saving, but he cannot diverge from his course, even if he on some level wants to be stopped, or 2. this world is just as terrible as the one he left behind, and it needs to be undone.

[jae-bummer]

More Than You Wanted

Request: HALLO MY DEAR! Welcome back to writing 💛 May I HUMBLY request either 7 or 9 (or both cause we all love that hurt comfort spice) with the one and only Mr. Kim Mingyu? He's moved into bias zone, I am ASHAMED /s

Prompt:

7) "Doesn't matter what happens...if you call me, I will always answer."

9) "I don't want them. I want you."

Prompt list can be found HERE.

Pairing: Seventeen Mingyu x Reader

Genre: Angst/Steamy

.

The carpet in your apartment building was disgusting. Covered in dirt (at least you hoped that's what the stains were) and always kind of moist, you avoided contact with it at all costs. But now, you were sitting on it. Slumped against the wall behind you with your head in your hands, you were sitting on the world's dirtiest carpet and crying.

It had been approximately two hours since you had contacted your building's repair man, and an hour since you talked to anyone in management. You had locked yourself out and were completely exhausted. All you wanted was to lay down and maybe binge watch your favorite drama. You hadn't signed up for enrichment time outside of your enclosure today.

Cringing as the idea came across your mind, you looked helplessly down at your phone. It would be just so easy to text your ex-boyfriend. The two of you had never met up to exchange each other's things, so he still had your key.

Taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly, you lifted up your phone and scrutinized the battery life. It was running below 10% at this point, so if you were going to do it, you needed to suck it up. Scrolling almost to the bottom of your saved text messages, you found Mingyu's name and tapped.

you busy?

That was safe, right? You didn't want to make him worry and you certainly didn't want to inconvenience him. You had done enough of that in your past relationship.

You weren't surprised when you saw typing bubbles appear before you had even locked your phone. Of course, he was going to be hyper available during your crisis.

Depends. What's up?

What a terrible non-response.

i was wondering if you could stop by and drop off my key?

Want me to bring the rest of your stuff?

not if it's not already with you...

"Why would it already be with him?" you muttered. "Please use your one active brain cell before you hit send again."

i just really need my key

Contrary to what you may believe, I have no plans to break into your apartment. Can I drop it off at the end of the week?

You groaned, leaning back and lightly bonking your head repeatedly on the wall behind you.

Resisting the urge to reply with "that's fine" and leave your fate in the hands of your apartment complex, you quickly typed out a message.

i locked myself out of my apartment.

Give me 10 minutes.

Breathing a momentary sigh of relief, you commended yourself. Texting Mingyu had not been easy, but it was a necessary evil for your own mental well-being. Surely you could play nice for approximately 45 seconds while he handed you your key and walked back down the stairs. You had 45 seconds worth of gratitude in your system, didn't you?

Closing your eyes, you tried not to think too hard about seeing him again. Naturally, that had the opposite effect, and you began dragging out memories that you hadn't touched in weeks. Your relationship had started out innocently enough. You had been an English tutor for the entertainment company that Mingyu was signed to and tutored him weekly. After spending hours upon hours with each other, a natural closeness formed between the two of you. While yes, you had been close to all of the artists in one way or another, something with him was different. It was something warmer, something more incendiary.

You found yourself actually paying attention to how you dressed or how you styled your hair. Starting to become overly interested in your personal appearance likely should have been a red flag. You knew better than to start anything with an idol.

Against your better judgement, your sessions quickly turned into flirting for hours. Mingyu was incredibly smart, so it wasn't a surprise when he was ahead in his English lessons. With the spare time, you got to know each other. Finally, one day he asked you out for dinner.

With time, the two of you had become inseparable. That was until the company found out about the burgeoning relationship. It only took days for them to threaten Mingyu until he said he couldn't see you anymore. It came as no surprise that a few weeks later, they had alienated you so entirely that you put in your notice.

"Stupid," you muttered to yourself. "How could you have been so stupid."

"People forget their keys all the time, Y/N," you heard a familiar voice say above you. "Do you know how often I lock myself out of places?"

"But you have twelve other people to rely on," you sighed, opening your eyes. "And I have...well, you."

Mingyu looked down, a sad smile playing over his lips. God, why was he allowed to look so good? You could tell he had showered only minutes ago judging by his damp hair. He had thrown on a pair of fitted joggers and a t-shirt. It should be against the law to make casual wear look so expensive just by being hot.

Using the wall as leverage, you pulled yourself up to stand. "Thanks for doing this. I didn't mean to disrupt your whole afternoon."

"Don't" he said softly, shaking his head. "Doesn't matter what happens...if you call me, I will always answer."

He dug around in his pocket, producing the pink Hello Kitty key you gave him ages ago. It looked so small in the palm of his hand.

"Well anyhow," you said quietly, taking it. "Thanks."

He nodded, signaling the end of the conversation. You went to turn away from him but paused. He wasn't moving.

"Y/N, this whole thing" he motioned between the two of you. "When did this happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"When did we become strangers?" he sighed. "Because honestly it is hurts so bad."

An unknown feeling of annoyance bubbled up to the surface. "Mingyu, you broke up with me."

"You had to have known that it wasn't really me," he whispered, looking away. "I didn't have much of a choice at the time."

"Whether you did or not, we knew it wasn't going to work out in the long run."

"Don't say that!" he snapped. "I loved you...I still love you."

"Mingyu," you said quietly, deflated by his reaction. "You have millions of people out there wanting you. You're an idol. If your company discourages you dating noncelebrities, that is what it is."

"I don't want them. I want you," he said hoarsely. Stepping closer, he took your face in his hands.

You could feel tears beginning to gather at your lash line. "Mingyu-"

"Let me talk to them. The management team and everyone above and in between. Let me fight for us like I was too scared to do before," he whispered.

You tried to shake your head, but your face remained caught. Reaching up and placing your hands atop his, you sighed. "I wish it were that easy."

"It's not easy at all" he said, furrowing his brows. His eyes searched yours. "Nothing about love is easy. Nothing worth fighting for is easy."

"Mingyu," you whimpered, tears starting to fall. "I just wanted my key..."

"Yeah, well," he breathed. "You're getting more than you wanted for once."

Before you could clock his advancement, Mingyu's lips were on yours. You felt your tears falling even faster as you reached to grasp the fabric of his shirt. Because of you, the kisses were much wetter than normal, but it didn't stop his urgent need. He was manic with his movements; afraid you may slip away at any point. After every labored breath, his lips found yours again and again. Biting, licking, groaning against your mouth, you thought you would simply unravel in the dingy hallway.

Eventually the two of you had to take a break, all of the emotion was just too much. His hands sliding from your face and resting on your hips, he looked down at you, his expression hopeful.

"Why don't you come inside?" you asked nervously, unsure of what would happen moving forward. "We can talk."

"Sure," Mingyu nodded, a genuine smile spreading across his lips. "I'd like that very much."

[rainre]

about Willy/Findo. . . I simply rewrote what I wrote in Russian to couple of my friends.

DO NOT take it seriously. Please.

why does it exist? because Findo seems like an emotional person, very emotional. most likely, as a Middlewood resident, he is afraid of Willy Mack. terribly afraid. Willy didn’t choose him as a victim on purpose, the guy just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. . . But Willy will realize later that in a sense he has found a treasure, an ideal victim for his sadistic nature.

‼️TW? I'm not sure if this is necessary, but mention of suffocation, hint of cannibalism (that was an interesting theory or headcanon that Willy might be a cannibal and it fits this idea).

Kidnapping and maximum abuse. It’s fun with Findo, he’s terrified, almost fainting, cries, shys away, he seems to be trying to break free, but he is so afraid that he simply obeys. And absolutely seriously, he simply understands that anyway his life is in danger. And maybe if he resists, Willy will hurt him faster. Does he want pain? Not a bit, he's afraid of it. And what makes him even more afraid is undisguised sadism: if Willy star to hurt him, he is unlikely to stop.

This is how we begin. Willy regulary brings Findo almost to his limits on purpose, without actually doing anything. Because even a permanent violation of personal space will be enough. The guy is already in tension, he was fucking kidnapped by a serial killer known for his cruelty. An abundance of affectionate, but persistent hugs, touches on the arms, neck (it’ll be enough to strangle Findo a couple of times so that every time Willy’s fingers approach this area he will cause a plaintive, tearful “please. . .") definitely won't be pleasant, only more tension. Everything will result not in murder, but in torture and incomplete restriction of life.

And in the end, Findo will get used to it. Gradually he will completely stop twitching while being touched in any way. The brain is an interesting thing, amazing, and one of its wonderful properties is getting used to any conditions. It can really get used to anything (there was a terrible example of this in one film: Jews in a concentration camp had the opportunity to escape. Someone shout to them “run, you can escape!” and some of them really ran... But a considerable part of people were just standing. They're used to bullets, they're used to seeing death, they're used to it. They're so broken that they can't see the point in trying to save their life). Findo will sit humbly, he will already accept the hands on his neck, it doesn’t matter whether they gently stroke or strangle him until his mind becomes clouded, he will accept it without frightened pleading mumbling, as a matter of course, because this will become a must, it will be ordinary life.

And maybe someone will someday find out where all of Findo’s haters disappeared one after another, if anyone even finds such a connection (it’s unlikely, no one will know that on the day of their disappearance two will eat strange-tasting meat, and this, perhaps an important part of such a story).

[windvexer]

Hi, Your last post regarding what leads to witchcraft, and self-development in association with witchcraft made me curious. What do you mean by "Witches being too humble" and why does it makes you feel suspicious ?

we are in reference to this post

As context for new readers, that reblog was a response to a post about self-development in witchcraft as contrasted by spiritual bypassing in new age,

the hypothesis being that witchcraft encourages humanitarian self-development while new age does not.

My primary thoughts are that while witchcraft is a framework that can support self-development, I don't think that being a witch is about working through your emotions and flaws to be a better person. And I don't think doing those things are usually necessary at all to be a very good witch.

I in fact really do believe that witchcraft is almost entirely about reclaiming your power, growing your power, and becoming a person of power.

Not power in the "I'm secure enough to be compassionate in the face of anger" kind of power.

The, "last month I made my terrible neighbor move out, and this week I'm doing a spell for meemaw so she doesn't lose her trailer" kind of power. The, "we just found out Eddie's cousin has a spirit on him so me and the boys are taking a blue bottle to the railroad tracks to get it solved" kind of power.

The "washing machine keeps breaking and my dreams called me to a corner of the property where I talked to a spirit who was mad we buried our cat near it's home, so I had to move the cat and bake it some bread, and then all the leaky faucets stopped dripping at once" kind of power.

What does a witch need to soothe a problem with an angry spirit? Do they need to be aware of their own flaws, do shadow work prompts, reflect on their mistakes? No. In that scenario, they need some experience in dreamwork, the ability to talk to spirits, respect for the spirit world, and a bread machine.

So that's what I mean when I say that if I had to pick witches out of a lineup to help me with a serious problem, I'd be suspicious of the ones that act really humble. Can they help solve the situation, or not?

Five weeks ago Cousin Eddie went to the cemetery and now every Saturday he has a dream about a red-eyed monster getting closer to him. In a week or two it will be close enough to grab him.

I do not need a witch who knows precisely whether they are feeling anger or anxiety, and what triggered it. I don't need a witch who can look me in the eye and say, "I recognize how I've contributed to my own problems and I'm willing to listen if I've caused you harm in the past."

I need a witch who can say, "I can lay a ghost to rest no problem but if it's a demon we might be a bit fucked." I need a witch who can say, "I've got a closet full of amulets and there are three I'll about guarantee will keep Eddie safe while we figure out what grave the spirit belongs to."

So I know ultimately this is somewhat besides the point of the very original post that caused this discussion - which is also my point. I do not believe witchcraft is about being a better person.

I think it is very nice if people want to use witchcraft as a system of self-therapy or self-betterment (and I agree with original OP that witchcraft provides a better framework for self-development than New Age),

but when push comes to shove, I'd rather get help from an absolute bastard who spent two summers learning from pine trees in exchange for blood, than a really really kind and loving person who has overcome their need to self-aggrandize in lieu of learning spirit traps.

[animeyanderelover]

You can choose the characters! s / o and the yandere character are rivals, always competing to outdo themselves and exchanging barbs. At a certain point, someone tries to harm the yandere character and s/o is not happy to hear about it, going to get satisfaction from such a person, because regardless of being your rival, s/o will not accept such behavior. The yandere character finds out about this, what would his reaction be?

I'm fond of such requests simply because I get to choose. I tried to choose as many characters that I could think of who would fit in such a scenario.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, violence, manipulation, mean behavior, bullying

You're my rival so no one else can hurt you

Sasuke Uchiha

💙​ Sasuke has troubles dealing with his obsession as it overwhelms him a bit and unable to express it any other way, he winds up being quite rude towards you. Sasuke has come to respect you though since you're next to Orochimaru one of the few people who can keep up with him looking on how you yourself are a favorite of this man. Of course he has to acknowledge your skills but your competitive and cocky strike is a small problem for him. You're too untamable and as the possessive and more controlling guy he is, that is a problem. Sasuke wants to establish at least a bit dominance so you at least know better than to leave and abandon him yet you refuse to do so. So instead of talking he tries to show his dominance in his skills and during training which always ends up being a bit more violent than necessary since both of you don't hold back. He forces you to tag along with him so he can keep an eye on you and when you piss him off he might lowly threaten you, Sharingan activated.

💙​He's a traitor so many people seek out to hurt him though he is confident in his skills. Sasuke doesn't necessarily wants his darling to find out though, he might be a tiny bit embarrassed that someone got that close to him in the first place. Without a doubt he feels a bit insulted when you suddenly start being mad and swear that you'll hunt that person down to teach him a lesson. It sounds a little bit like you doubt his abilities which the prideful man can't have. At the same time though he feels a bit flustered since it also means that you are worried about him. He would never admit it but he sometimes wishes for you to show him that you care about him instead of constantly trying to outdo him. He's a bit smug the next time he approaches you since it's rare for you to be so protective over him, he'll probably hold it against you for a while. Don't misunderstand though, he's more than capable to kill the person on his own. He'll be glad to have you tag along though.

Katsuki Bakugou

💥​He genuinely wishes that you two could just get along but your arrogant and provoking behavior coupled with his competitive side and short temper is only pouring gasoline into the fire. Maybe the fact that he is so cocky and boasts about his Quirk and strength just annoys you so he becomes the target of you. You're plenty strong yourself so that catches Katsuki's attention quickly and he's just as eager as you are to outdo the other one. Initially annoyed and pissed that he can't beat you, he learns with time that there are many people who are better than him and it's humiliating and also weirdly humbling. It helps him to appreciate this rivalry though since it's a chance for both of you to learn. Katsuki is lucid about his growing obsession but tries not to act rashly, becomes more worried when he hurts you. It's sometimes difficult though and he feels terrible when he yells at you. At the same time he almost feels a bit insecure, especially after realizing that he isn't the only talented person.

💥​He gets himself in all sort of troubles, especially with his temper. He has his pride though so he's embarrassed when word gets out to you that he's been attacked by someone though only sustaining minor injuries. Katsuki would prefer to remain as a strong guy in your eyes, he has troubles showing you that he's sometimes more weak himself. Initially when you come to visit him, he doesn't want to see you out of a lingering feeling of humiliation. What are you thinking of him now? Your reaction shocks him though. You scold him sternly for being such an idiot before proclaiming angrily that you'll beat the living shit out of whoever tried to harm him since such behavior is unacceptable. Before you can storm out of the door, he stops you though by grabbing your wrist. He didn't expect this and is majorly flustered by your clear worries about him, doesn't even realize what he's doing. When he does, he instantly lets go though and turns around to hide his pink blush. Moron, you don't have to go after them!

Ayato Sakamaki

🥇​Ayato thinks of himself as the best so knowing that you try to pick a fight with him is as insulting as it is laughable. Honestly you stupid thing, what are you thinking? You angered him though so he plans to properly destroy you and let you become the dirt under his shoes. Problem is that you don't back down even after he has given you a humiliating loss, instead you remain stubborn and continue challenging him and you're smart enough to choose areas that he isn't as good in. His strongest side is sport so you tiptoe around it though you still train to become better. Ayato is just so mean and rude, you want to push him down from his high horse. The lack of humilation irritates Ayato and your refusal to give up even more. He could easily kill you but he decides against it. No, he wants to completely destroy you at first, see you on your knees as you admit that he's the best. His obsession to beat you turns into something else over time as he turns worringly much possessive.

🥇​Ayato is a vampire so him being attacked might have to do with it so he can't let you find out. You're only human, you don't know of his true identity yet. One of his brothers might have blown his cover a bit though since they know how he feels about you. The boy is mad when you express your worry for him, hisses if you think he's as weak and pathetic as you are even if he is deep down slightly flattered to know that you care. He wants to be worshipped a bit due to his ego so it's good to express your worries since it helps to awake the impression that you admire him at least a bit. If Ayato notices that you pay more attention to him and make a bit of a fuss about him, he will probably use the situation to his advantage to have you stick with him more often. Do him a few favors, bring him Takoyami and he'll quickly get over his aggressive attitude and be a bit nicer to you. He can't have you avenge him though since the person who attacked him might not even have been human. He'll torture them himself.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke

⬛​The situation is complicated with you being part of the Port Mafia with a powerful gift yourself. Akutagawa is a dominant an possessive Yandere so the lack of control he has over you is angering. Your cheeky and teasing behavior even more, others might as well think of you as suicidal with the way you provoke him. Truth is that Akutagawa himself starts feeling like he isn't acknowledged just like with Dazai and it makes him mad since he starts feeling slightly insecure, starts feeling weak. For that he snaps all too easily as soon as you start your teasing, chances are that he even uses Rashomon out of impulse. He despises the small and painful clench in his heart since he admits deep down that you're very talented yourself. There is this fear to be abandoned again if you don't see him as worthy and this paranoia fuels his aggressive behavior. If you two get in a fight he is violent for the sake of showing you that he is stronger. Fear him, love him but don't leave him because you don't acknowledge him.

⬛​Refuses to ever be weak in front of you so he probably threatens to keep it a secret as soon as he couldn't kill the one who attacked him. He fears that you'll look down on him. Obviously you'll hear from it since he is quite the known figure in the mafia and decide to not see him. That's fine if he wouldn't know but when Akutagawa gets to know that you are aware of it but didn't even come to check on him with his injuries, he feels on edge. On the one hand he doesn't want you to come since he doesn't want to be seen as weak but with you not coming he feels like you just don't even care about him at all. The boy doesn't even know what he wants and he probably plans on being overly rude if you do come but he is silenced when he gets to know that you plan to get revenge for him. There is a genuine confused and shocked look on his face before it turns into a scowl. He doesn't need your help, he has to kill them himself. He feels a bit better to know that you care but doesn't want to acknowledge it.

Akabane Karma

🔴​Karma is most of the time a bit bored so having his darling constantly picking fights with him provides more entertainment. He really likes them a lot so if he can have their attention by just provoking them and being their rival, this is for now enough as Karma feels quite playful when with you. He might turn a bit sadistic if you really hold your nose high in order to teach you a lesson and humiliate him a bit. If you're a more respectful individual who respects him though, he'll do the same. There is no denial that sometimes he just likes teasing you to see you turning mad a bit, you're so adorable when you get mad at him after all. Keeping up with his intelligence is already something quite admirable so Karma at least doesn't look down on you, admits that you're quite formidable. The red-haired male is possesive though and pushes everyone away from you who might have an interest. He enjoys the world where only the two of you exist and won't let some other dumb shit interfere.

🔴​He can't help but pick fights from time to time, you know? Especially if someone plays the high and mighty. You are aware of his mischievous and troublesome attitude yet can't help but be worried when you here about it. Karma plays it off like it was nothing though, completely relaxed even if he should have sustained some damage in the process. Karma is cunning though so when he realizes that you are concerned about him, he ends up using that fact against you. Of course he isn't against guilt-tripping you if it means that you spend more time with him, even if it is spend with him just teasing you and you being mad again. He'd be happy if you just end up being nice and gentle with him though even if he can't stop being playful with you for the life of him. He won't let you be involved in any sort of danger though when he hears your plans. You shouldn't end up getting in troubles because of him since Karma still wants you safe. So do him the favor and stay away or he might have to use some force.

Hashibara Inosuke

🐗Inosuke is a confirmed hothead so he takes on the challenges his darling throws at him daily. It’s quite the friendly rivalry the both of you have though since it’s already quite obvious that Inosuke has it bad for you yet he doesn’t even realize it for such a long time. He just knows that he wants to impress his darling, he wants to show how strong and cool he is. You can goad him relatively easy into training sessions with him as the thought of spending time alone with you is more than enough to motivate him. Inosuke is petty as well since he insists on always training and fighting alone with his darling since he gets territorial whenever someone else asks to tag along. The young man wishes to be the center of your attention and wants to be the only one you compliment when he’s beaten you in a fight. He thrives of your praise and gets jealous quickly whenever you praise someone else. Despite enjoying his training with you, he’s always surprisingly careful to not hurt you.

🐗The boy is mad that he let the demon escape who attacked him, is probably already busily proclaiming to no one in particular that he’ll go out and search for them as soon as possible. The moment you step in to check on him though, he’s busily gawking at you and ignores whoever is with you. Even if he should be hurt, he tells you proudly that it’s nothing. Inosuke is clingy and wants attention so he winds up manipulating you into staying with him for now, he blooms under your attention on him and is honestly just liking the fact that you show so much concern. He’s very touchy and definitely guilt-trips you into allowing him to do so. He bristles against your idea of going after the demon who hurt him though, you can’t go without him. Ever since he’s realized his feelings, he also realized how protective he is so he doesn’t feel safe with the thought of letting you go alone even if he knows that you’re tough. Also, that’s his demon to kill. You just stay back and be amazed by him.

Ichimaru Gin

🐍There are only few people who trust him and due to his unsettling behavior and appearance, even fewer dedicate their time to be with him. His darling is certainly a little but pleasant surprise in that aspect. Not even in his Vision yet they search for him willingly to constantly challenge him. He would have dismissed you a long time ago after a humiliating loss for you but you just keep on getting up again and again and constantly improve yourself, step over your limits. Gin appreciates that a lot since it not only serves as an entertainment but it also allows him to have excuses to see you when he becomes obsessed. Gin is strange though since he willingly allowed himself to become obsessed simply because the feeling was exciting and new. As much as he mocks you with his sarcasm, he occasionally does comment that you’ve gotten stronger and gives you tips how you can improve. It might not be immediately obvious but he appreciates your company since he tends to feel a bit lonely.

🐍Honestly, he is fairly amused about someone's attempt to hurt him though he guesses that he might have pissed of the one or other person with his attitude. Gin is someone who probably has someone informing you about what happened simply to have you rushing to him, seeing you worried over him is adorable and he just wants you near him. It's refreshing to see you fussing a bit over him like this since you're usually loud and boisterous. But now you're scolding the Captain for being so airheaded to let himself get mildly injured, scowling before you tell him that you're going to find the bastard who did this to him and beat them black and blue as punishment. He holds you back before you can storm out though, coaxes you instead to spend some time with him. He's been just assaulted after all, he could need your company. Whilst he is pleasantly surprised and thrilled that you'd go that far for him, he'd rather keep you out of his problems. Just continue to be so loyal and dedicated for him.

[simplepotatofarmer]

Hi! Sorry if this is a bit deep and ramble-y but it’s just something that’s been on my mind. Have you ever doubted defending dream?

Sometimes I feel like I’m wrong for feeling bad for him. I feel like I get where some ppl are coming from when they say why they hate him but then am horrified by what they do with that hatred.

I keep telling myself that it’s normal to feel empathy for someone that you could see was facing a lot of shit. I felt bad for him in April, but also felt bad for feeling bad because everyone was saying how he was a horrible person who deserved horrible things. Looking back, and reading some ppls reflections on it, it’s much more obvious how April specifically was just an obscene hate campaign, but even then I have moments of doubt just because of how universal the idea of dream always being in the wrong seems to be, especially in this community.

Even with the most recent incident, where I did step away for a while, I felt bad for him and his friends for the things their fans were doing. But then I also felt bad for feeling bad because so many ppl on here say that the extreme means are necessary.

Even though I am more of a causal fan, I don’t want to live in an echo chamber and I think the ppl in the fandom who I do follow (like you) are pretty rational about everything. I’ve tried following other ppl but there’s just this everpresent hatred of him that I don’t like seeing everyday on my dash. But I again feel wrong for feeling that way. It’s all just frustrating.

i was going to sleep but this is actually a really important ask, in my humble opinion.

the short answer is no.

the long answer is absolutely not, i've never regretted defending him over the things i have defended him over because even if he was a terrible person and not like, a dude none of us know personally who is not perfect and makes mistakes and is sometimes a fucking idiot, those would still be things i would defend him for.

defending someone against absolutely vile queerphobia is never something i'd regret because it's quite simply just the right thing to do. erasing someone's identity because you don't like them is wrong, point blank. blair white or caitlynn jenner are no less deserving of respect as trans women than any other woman.

defending dream against ableism is always gonna be the right thing because you don't have to be a good person to deserve not to be treated awfully due to your neurodivergence.

and like, there's been things i've defended dream on where i don't completely agree with him. i think he's been a little baby sometimes when it comes to mcc but when people were saying shit like he was '''manipulating''' us and noxcrew because he said he didn't want to play in mcc if he had to play buildmart, yeah i'm going to point out that's a batshit take. someone venting and being frustrated isn't manipulation, he was just throwing a tantrum. touch grass yada yada.

and when it comes to my belief that people can be racist in the past and change, that still applies! i still think dream actively tried to be better! he grew up in a bigoted environment, is open about his racist past (and fucking uses the word racist/bigoted, thank god) and is actively working to be better.

that's always going to be true and frankly, i think it's not only weird but extremely telling that a LOT of white people who had formerly defended him suddenly switched up. it just shows that it was never about the harm done and poc but whether or not you liked some white boy.

but i digress.

the thing is, anon, i get why you feel this way. this fandom and online culture as a whole lately is wrought with the belief that consumption of media is a reflection of your morals. that consuming the right media and being a fan of the right sort of person is akin to activism.

it's not. it doesn't fucking matter. there's no righteousness in hating dream. you can certainly be valid in hating him! there's a lot of reasons to dislike him or hate him or feel he shouldn't have a platform. i might not agree with it all but i can see it.

the problem is.... i see why you feel like this and that is genuinely so sad and messed up because how did we get to the point where queerphobia or ableism or body shaming is totally okay as long as it's a certain group and to where people doubt themselves when they think it's wrong! it is wrong but i completely understand why anyone would second guess themselves.

as it stands right now, i don't regret it because i feel it's right. i'm always going to feel it's right.

if something comes out tomorrow and it turns out that it really is more than some instagram dms and the questionable choice of giving out his private snapchat, then i won't be defending him.

but i still wouldn't regret any of my past defense because my defense isn't conditional, my belief that people can grow isn't conditional, and my opinion on things like fandom's queerphobia and misuse of terms like 'grooming' would still stand.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Acts of Atonement

Warnings: this fic includes dark content including rape/noncon, marital discord/neglect, cheating, and other potential triggering elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You return to your lonely home, but life can never be the same.(Regency AU)

Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne

Note: You can imagine any Bruce you want. I hate Affleck so I went for Christian Bale in my head but to each their own. I pictured Cavill because uhhhh yes, but hey if you wanna go with Brandon Routh that’s chill af, or Tom Welling.

And here’s the unexpected sequel.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3

Love you all like Humpty Dumpty love falling off walls. Take care. 💖

Your thighs ache and your walls burn from Lord Kent’s intrusion. You hide your quivering lips behind your glove as you try no to look at him in the flicker of the lantern. 

When at last, the gates of Wayne Manor come to pass, there is little relief. You may free yourself of this man, but not your shame. You must face your husband with sin upon your conscience.

“Lady,” Kent’s deep voice thunders through the dark, “I trust you will speak of all the lovely things you witnessed this night.”

You peer over at him and wince. You sniff and say nothing.

“That you will be discreet where necessary. For both our sake’s,” he prompts.

You gulp as your eyes turn glossy. You’re shaking terribly. The smell of your encounter still lingers in the air and you feel as if it wafts even from you.

“Do you know your husband to be forgiving?” he intones.

You shake your head. He sighs.

“So?”

You push your hand down to your lap and steady yourself, “I will tell him about the acrobats and all the novel little trinkets we saw…” you croak.

“Good,” he smooths the cravat folded at his throat, “this cannot go on, yes, if we are not covert.”

“Go on?” you squeak, “sir, that was a mistake–”

“It didn’t feel like one,” he breathes, “you will grow lonely once more. He will be sure of it.”

“No, no, it cannot happen again,” you quaver and touch the rims of your eyes gently to keep the tears at bay.

He sighs and looks out the window as the carriage slows, “gather yourself, do not cry. I doubt he should inquire anyhow but I cannot return you so distraught.”

“My lord,” you take a deep breath and sit up, once more your hands crawl over your dress, making certain that each later is in place, that your jacket is straight, and finally your hat. 

Kent is not wrong, you don’t know that your husband would notice if anything were amiss.

The wheels grind to a halt and the driver jumps down, lurching the vehicle. The door opens and the step is put out for your descent. You stand, keeping your head low as you exit, holding back a grimace as your flesh twinges with the shadow of Kent’s touch. 

You feel bruises where he held you so fervently. They are nothing compared to your guilt.

Kent steps down behind you and quickly takes your arm. He leads up the long walk towards the front door, Ester waiting in the open frame. Your escort stops you upon the threshold.

“My lady, I must thank you for a wonderful night,” he kisses your glove courteously, the very essence of propriety, even as his blue eyes cling to yours in a bid to remind you of your deed, “I regret to return you to your husband so soon.”

“So soon? The hour is overly late,” Wayne appears from around the doors.

“Husband,” you greet thinly.

“Wayne,” Kent says warmly, “we did miss you at the festival. I think even you would’ve enjoyed yourself.”

Your husband hums flatly but says nothing as his brows furrow, “I’ve business early and cannot be waiting around past midnight for my errant wife. I did issue a curfew for your little outing.”

“Apologies, husband, it is my fault,” you fidget as you speak and he squints as you twiddling fingers, “I was so enthralled by it all I could hardly tear myself away.”

Silence. He stares. Can he see through you? Are you babbling so inanely that he knows you lie?

“We both were much carried away with the entertainment, much going on so we did tarry. You may blame me, not your lovely wife,” Kent says gallantly, “I should say, you should be proud that she is such a gracious partner.”

Wayne lifts his chin and faces Kent. He’s hardly impressed by his words, “certainly, it seems you had tremendous fun, but it is late and I have time to blather further. I thank you for returning my wife.”

“Believe me, she is so lovely it is not an easy task,” Kent declares boldly, “but I wish you both a pleasant night. I believe my own household awaits me.”

“Hmm,” Wayne thins his lips as he glares at his guest.

Lord Kent smirks and flicks his gaze in your direction as he turns, a dimple in his cheek betrays his mischievous thoughts. You stiff and tug at the trim of your jacket nervously. You stand quietly with your husband as he goes to the door to watch the noisy departure of the carriage. 

He huffs as the wheels crunch along the ground. You don’t know what to do or say. Your hand falls to the hard shape in your jacket pocket. You reach inside and pull out the snuffbox. 

It doesn’t feel right giving it to him now, yet you feel as though you must. A small gesture of your repentance.

“Husband,” you murmur. He doesn’t move, you repeat yourself louder.

He looks over his shoulder as his hand remains on the frame. You step closer to him as Ester keeps her chin down, staring at the floor as if she cannot hear.

“I bought you a gift,” you eke out.

He drags his arm down slowly and turns to you. He looks dully at your hand as you raise it and hold out the box. The small square of gold topped with a honed plate of jade. A perturbed wrinkle appears on his forehead.

“You… you wore a jade pin on our wedding day so… I thought of you,” you say breathlessly.

His fingers twitch before he lifts his hand, carefully taking the box. “I did,” he confirms and his eyes flit to yours. You look away as if scalded. “Thank you.”

You nod and chew your lip, “you’re correct husband, it is late, I should retire to preserve tomorrow.”

“You must be tired from so much excitement,” he says cautiously, “you enjoyed yourself?”

You peek up at him and swallow your shock. It’s a genuine question.

“I did,” it isn’t a lie, you enjoyed the theatre, the acrobats, and seeing the old faces of society. “Thank you, husband, for permitting me to go. I think I’ve got my share.”

He bows his head, “good night, wife.”

“Good night, husband,” you echo and turn to Ester. 

She nears and you let her unbutton your jacket as you pull loose the ribbon of your hat. Lord Wayne slowly retreats and you glance over as he pauses by the door of the den. He stands in profile as he opens the snuff box and turns it over in his hand as he admires it. His cheek spasms as he closes it and squeezes it tight. The gesture makes you feel even worse.

“Ester,” your voice crackles as you face her.

“Lady, what is the matter?” she asks innocently.

You roll your eyes back to keep the tears from leaking out and peel off your gloves, “bring a basin of hot water to my chamber and rag.”

“Madam?”

“It is too late for a bath but I find myself… filthy from the fairground,” you clasp your gloves tightly and wring them, “and a glass of claret for my nerves.”

She bows her head and skitters off. You exhale and face the stairs as your heart sinks. If your marriage was untenable before, it can only be misery from this point. All you ever wanted was to be a good wife, and now, you couldn’t even claim that.

💔

A night spent in tears is not that extraordinary. Your marriage was ripe with them, though not so tortuous as that eve. 

After a bout of grief-induced sleep, you wake with a whimper. Your body hurts as much as your soul. Your back is bruised from the seat hitting it, and your thighs tender from the blunt intrusion and rough hands.

Despite an hour spent in an attempt to scrub away your shame, the filth remains. You cannot shake the sensation of corruption. You sit at the edge of your bed and ring the bell for Ester. 

She comes and helps you into a clean shift before she goes to fetch your breakfast. You’re not hungry but you must keep routine.

You decided in your restless penance that you would simply forget it. Pretend it never happened. Are you not skilled in the matter? Living in a marriage yet at the same, existing in inexorable solace.

Ester returns and you pick at the platter of biscuits, marmalade, and espresso. Then, you dress and look at yourself in the glass. You’re just the same as you ever were. If you thought it could be seen upon you like a brand, you’re wrong. As you are of many things, most notably, Lord Kent.

You refuse to think of him. You cannot.

“Let us review the grounds, make certain that the gardeners have kept the weeds from invading, then we will go through the kitchens,” you declare, “we will open the windows in the tea room so that we may take lunch there in the sunlight.”

“Yes, lady,” Ester says, “are you well?”

“Of course, I’m well,” you insist, “I have been lax in my duties, it is best to keep account of things before they go unattended too long.”

She bows her head in acquiescence. Can she sense your desperation for distraction? Is that not what every day of your marriage has been? A hopeless desolation in which you hunger for any taste of joy.

“The Lord Wayne left early,” she answers the question you don’t dare ask, “very expediently, if I might say so. He was in some hurry I’ve not seen. As you know, he is ever stoic.”

“Oh?” you swallow as you enter the corridor, “and what do you think he was so… impatient for?”

“Business at the House, no doubt,” she answers, “but what do we know of the business of men. He is hardly sociable, not anymore, so perhaps he only longs to be done with it.”

“Perhaps,” you force a smile. 

Does he suspect Lord Kent? Yourself? Has he gone to interrogate the nobleman and catch you out? What shall happen if he knows? You will be cast out, disgraced. Yet a pariah but much worse than you are.

“Madam, are you certain you are well? Did you not enjoy yourself at the fair?”

You look away and hide your face as it contorts against your will, “I did,” you confess with a tremble, “it is only… I wish my husband could share such things with me.”

She’s quiet. She is but a servant, her duty is to hear out your rambling but you can hardly expect her to care for it.

“As he should, madam. I know I am daring to say it, perhaps impetuous, but he does neglect you. We all see it and we all know you do not deserve it,” she comforts, “you are so kind a mistress but he is cold and cruel.”

You cover your mouth as tears spill out. You turn to lean against the railing overlooking the main hall and you try to smother your despair. Ester comes to stand beside you.

“We love you though, Madam, for we would be lost without you,” she coaxes, ignorant to the true cause of your weeping. 

You take a deep breath and ball your hand up as the tears seep through your gloves, “Ester, I fear that this is what I’m owed in life. That I’ve been marked for this, that the Lord does test me and I have failed.”

“How… madam, you are the most virtuous lady I’ve known, and I was raised in a convent,” she gives a soft laugh, “even the nuns see more light than you.”

“Oh, you cannot know,” you mourn and take out your handkerchief to sop up your sadness, “I hope, Ester, that you marry for love, and I envy very much that you might have that choice.” She smiles, bittersweet, as you take her hand, “and please, do not tell any of this lapse.”

“Never, lady,” she assures as she squeezes your hand.

How pathetic that your only companion is this young girl, a servant at that. How oppressive is it that you are trapped behind these walls to suffer the ignorance of a frigid man you must call husband. How deserving is it that you must persist in this purgatory and pay for your marital transgression.

💔

All is as it was yet can never be the same.

The days pass in the same tedium of the last two years. You navigate them in a malaise, a grim acceptance of your isolation for once and all. A fraught denial of your own offense.

Wayne continues in his orderly way. He retreats to his study or extricates himself to Parliament for a session. You remain, as you ever do, to mind the dust and draughts of the empty manor.

That day, you take tea on the green. The days grow brisker as autumn approaches so you spend the afternoon in mourning of the season. Winter will be quick on the heels of the fall, the loneliest weeks ahead of you. The Yule always serves to remind you of all those engagements you must refrain from.

Ester sits with you as you read aloud from a book of poems. The volume of Wordsworth speaks of lulling natural scenes and romantic whims. You get lost in the rhythm of the verse as Ester listens in a dreamy trance.

‘Through primrose tufts, in that green bower, The periwinkle trailed its wreaths; And ’tis my faith that every flower Enjoys the air it breathes.’

Your voice quavers over the rippling grass, carried by the soft breeze in the fading leaves. You do not hear his arrival nor his approach, not until Lord Wayne stands at the edge of the blanket set out for your picnic. 

You quiet as you look up and shut the book. He holds a healthy bunch of flowers, tied with a dark blue ribbon.

“My lord,” you make to rise as Ester is first to her feet. The lord waves her away.

“Please, stay as you are,” he bids you, “the maid may leave us.”

You're curious as you eye the white petals, decorated with some clusters of yellow yarrow. His chest rises as his mouth slants and he rigidly lowers himself to his knees on the blanket. It is unlike him and he is openly uncomfortable.

“Wife,” he holds out the flowers.

You stare at the bouquet, stunned. You break through the disbelief and set aside the book to accept them. He watches you as you take a deep whiff of the pollen.

“These are lovely,” you say, “but what–”

“It is an apology,” he says as his jaw ticks, “that I…” he clears his throat as he remains kneeling, “that I didn’t accompany you to the fair. It occurred to me that you had me in your thoughts and… you should be owed the same consideration.”

You gape at him, uncertain how to respond.

“I very much like the snuff box,” he says, “though it made it more obvious to me that I was negligent.”

“Husband, I… this is so very generous of you,” you gulp, holding back tears, “but you didn’t have to–”

“I do. I must. Though Emma helped arrange the flowers, I haven’t the eye for that,” his throat bobs, “might I sit?”

“Yes, yes,” you answer and shift as you hug the flowers and take another eager sniff, “Lord Wayne, this is such a pleasant surprise.”

He sits as he watches you, “we haven’t any supervision, Bruce will do.”

Your heart hammers. You touch a dainty petal. You should be happy. This is all you ever wanted but you feel rotten. That he would issue his atonement, unknowing of your need for the same. 

He reaches over and takes the book of poetry. He flutters through the pages. You watch him over the bunch of roses.

‘The birds around me hopped and played, Their thoughts I cannot measure:— But the least motion which they made It seemed a thrill of pleasure.’

He continues where you left off, his deep voice calm, unlike his usual unbending tone. You let his timbre flow into you but it only stokes that flame of remorse deep in your core. 

How can you ever tell him what you did? How can you ever be forgiven?

💔

You’re left alone again, but not unpleased. You take the flowers up to your chamber as you send Ester for a vase and water. She helps you place the stems into the tall porcelain and she ties the ribbon around the neck of the vessel. You stare at the gift, so unexpected and overwhelming.

A trickle down your cheek is swept away with your glove.

“Madam, are you not happy?” Ester asks.

“I am, but…” you look at her, “I fear I don’t deserve this.”

“How ever could you not? You are a loving wife, you should have flowers every day–”

“Oh, you cannot understand, you are young,” you say, “you are innocent still and have not made such dire mistakes.”

Her face falls, “you regret your marriage to Lord Wayne?”

“Regrets, yes, I have those, but… for many things,” you heave and pause. You hear some commotion in the yard and activity below. You look at the door, as if you might see through it.

“I will go see,” Ester assures and leaves you fleetly. 

You wait as you sway, turning to once more caress a petal. Bruce should know the truth. Then he can take it all back; the ring, the title, the flowers.

“It is Lord Kent,” Ester returns breathless, “Lord Wayne is irritated, he did not expect him but they have gone into the study. Gentlemanly concerns, no doubt.”

“Ah, Lord Kent,” you keep your back to her, “he should not come unannounced.”

“Oh but he is jolly,” she insists.

“And will not doubt agitate Lord Wayne,” you huff.

“Does anything not agitate the master?” Ester giggles.

You give her a look, “I’m very serious, Ester,” you reprimand, “this is the happiest day of marriage I’ve had. As I should have expected, he comes to ruin it.”

“But… you and Lord Kent, I thought you were friends,” she bats her lashes.

“Friends? No, he cannot be my friend. He is a man with two faces,” you press your hands to your bodice, “a liar.”

She’s quiet, confused. How desperately you want to boil over and tell her all, but she cannot understand. Nor does she deserve such a dangerous secret.

“Leave me, please,” you say, “apologies, but I am suddenly very tired.”

“Oh, madam, I’m sorry, is there anything I can do?”

“No,” you say abruptly as you sit and cover your face, “please, just go. You might assist Emma with supper.”

“Yes, lady,” she lingers for a moment before she retreats. 

The door softly shuts in her stead and you curl forward as your guilt consumes you, licking hotly at your flesh and turning your insides to ice. Lord Wayne can never know but you must remember this forever. You must pin the vice to your chest and wear it as the stain it is.

💔

Clark’s low timbre hangs in the air long after he’s gone. You couldn’t help but try to overhear though it was little more than one-sided chatter on his part. Bruce, rather Lord Wayne’s, usual indifference has returned. You don’t know that you can bear it again.

Ester knocks at the door and speaks through the keyhole, “madam, supper is due for the hour.”

“I am not hungry, Ester,” you call back, slumped against the door, “please send my regrets to the lord that I cannot attend. I fear today’s outing has left me in ill-humour.”

“Madam,” she answers, “shall I return to help you undress?”

“I might see to myself,” you dismiss as you stand with a groan. You could bury yourself beneath the duvet and never emerge again.

After some tedious picking and plucking, you strip away the layers to your shift and stocking and sprawl out across the fluffy eider. You feel like a stone in want, sinking into the silt to erode beneath the waves. Forsaken to the depths of your despair.

The canopy looms over you like a dark cloud, the lilacs and azures blending to a sinister grey in your distant gaze. You let your eyes close as you pull the eider around you. You want to sleep and never wake. You want to dream of the life you never had, never can have.

A knock rouses you from your descent. Your lashes are wet and your vision bleary from the tears you weren’t aware of. You swipe them away as you sit up, the gentle rapping coming again.

“Wife?” Lord Wayne speaks through the painted wood.

You sit up, the bed jostling as the duvet falls flat. What could he want? Why should he seek you when he has never done so before? When the only affections you got from him were in those bouts driven by a glass of sherry or special occasion?

You rise, shift catching between your thighs, the thin fabric a poor shield against his advance. You go to the door and slide your hand up the frame, your other on the silver handle.

“Husband?” you utter.

“Yes,” he answers and the handle jiggles. You let it go so it twists entirely and the door opens. “You were not at supper. The maid said you are unwell.”

A shy glance to your toes as your cheeks burn in embarrassment. You are in no state to be seen. Your hair is unset, your shift is plain, and your eyes puffy from your self-pity. You try to smile as you look up again.

“I am only tired. The weather changes and it affects me,” you lie.

He nods, his nostrils flaring as his throat constricts. His eyes do not falter as he watches you, gripping tight the oval knob as he leans into the door.

“Might I… Might I come in?”

Your brows rise in surprise. You cannot think to say no, not after so long of wanting. You step back, wondering if this is a dream after all.

He enters and his fingers pinch the button on his high collar. He looks around, taking in your chamber curiously. You realise that often your encounters were in his and that those few times he’d ventured this far were fleeting.

He goes to your vanity and takes the small oval frame with his likeness painted within. It was his betrothal gift sent to you in anticipation of your first meeting. He admires it for a moment before he sets it down.

“I looked younger,” he says lightly as he turns to face you.

You smile and clasp your hands together. You don’t know what to do. He seems a bit lost himself.

“Should I have some supper brought up? Are you hungry?”

“No,” you reply breathily, “I was only… reclining. Trying to think. Or not so much as that.”

“I hope I am not disturbing overly much,” he searches the chamber and wanders towards the bend, “or that I might… join you?

You’re alight at the suggestion of what he won’t, can’t say forthwith. But you know what he asks. You are well aware of your neglected wifely duties. How can you deny him? Or yourself?

“Certainly, husband,” you go to the bed and shake out the wrinkled eider, “you may.”

The nagging memory tugs at your mind, sinks its teeth into your nape, but you shove it away. This is all you ever longed for. You can trade your soul for a moment of peace.

His eyes run the length of the bed as he bows his head. He keeps his chin down as he unbuttons his jacket. He deliberately looses each golden button and turns to drape his coat over the vanity seat. He lets out a long breath and returns to the bed, resting a knee on the edge as he unbuckles his shoe, one at a time, and drops them to the floor.

You watch him as his gaze ventures up and meets yours. There’s a moment of recognition, a split second in which you understand each other. You’re both absolutely terrified.

You get on the bed as he peels off his socks, then his trousers, his shirt falling loosely down and barely concealing his intimate parts. Your skin speckles with heat. Before, it was always in the darkness, but now, you see it all.

He climbs into the bed beside you, his hand brushing over the eider as he sits atop it. His fingers tentatively crawl up your shoulder and he turns to you. He urges you down to your back, patiently following as he lays on your side, his hand exploring the length of your arm, drawing your fingers to his mouth to kiss.

“I am gladdened to see the flowers,” he peeks over at the vase in the window, “that you like them.”

“Of course, husband,” your fingertips tingle as he toys with your hand, wondrous like a child.

“That you… forgive me?” he prompts.

You lower your lashes. It is you who requires forgiveness. You nod, “I do.”

“There is much I’ve yet to redeem myself of. These last two years have been rather long…”

“Please,” you pull your hand from his and cradle his cheek, “let’s forget it all.”

His fingertips rub the thin fabric of your shift as his hand falls onto your hip. He squeezes and leans into your palm. He shifts closer as he tickles along your side and dips his head down. 

You shut your eyes as you welcome the kiss, delicate at first, meek, uncertain. Then all at once, fervent and eager.

You hum as his tongue parts your lips and his body rests against yours as he pulls you onto your side. His arm wraps around you as you latch onto the loose collar of his shirt. 

It’s not so pushy as Kent, not rough, but intent. And not so habitual as he was before. It isn’t an obligation, it’s needy. It’s true desire. You can’t help but succumb to it.

His lips slip from yours as his hand trails down your back, pulling at your shift as he kisses along your cheek and jaw. He dotes on you, more confident with each pliant peck, until he’s nibbling at your neck. He gathers the fabric over your waist and groans as he gropes your rear, a carnal instinct that has him squirming.

He lifts your leg and places it over his thigh, bending your knee around him. His hand traces the curve of your hip and along the vee of your pelvis. You arch your back as your fingers slip beneath the open neck of his shirt and you feel his warmth, kneading the muscle hungrily.

His fingers graze your sensitive bud and you gasp. You push your head back as he rolls over your clit, circles that slicken and stir your delight. You grasp the back of his neck and pull him against your bosom. He buries his face in your cleavage, purring as you give in to the stolid heat that encases your bodies.

He rubs you, teasing you, coaxing your body to his. Your muscles tense and your toes curl. You feel the bloom, gradual but steady. Your fingers weave into his hair as you shake, an orgasm overthrowing your doubts.

He pushes your folds apart, stroking you up and down as he wiggles closer. He grunts as he tilts his hips, clumsily prodding until he catches his tip between his knuckles. He rescinds his hand as he presses against your entrance, a wet streak up to your hip as he grips you firmly.

He sighs as he pushes into you slowly, lifting his head to kiss you as he languishes in the warmth. You jab your heel against the back of his leg and sink further onto him. 

He drags his hand down your thigh, bending your leg higher as he thrusts to his limit. You moan into his mouth and quiver. He moves slowly, a patient motion as his hot breath fills your lungs. 

He groans and his mouth slips from yours, lips against your forehead as his pace picks up. You writhe with him, greedy for more and more. The friction between you awakes a new thrumming, vibrant and voracious as another climax builds in your core.

You grasp the thick muscle of his arm. Your hand slips away as he hooks his elbow under your knee and lifts it even higher. You snake your arm around his back and dig your nails into the flesh between his shoulder blades. He grunts as he tilts into you harder and faster.

You cry out and cum again, quaking uncontrollably as he’s driven on by your surrender. He rolls you onto your back, keeping your leg folded against him as he rocks into you, framing your face with his long fingers. He huffs and puffs, chasing his own release until it rumbles through him and erupts in a startled roar.

He relents with trembling thrusts, slowing until he’s still and heavy over you. He pants against your damp cheek and sighs, shakily petting your hairline and down your temple.

“I will try,” he promises as his lips tickle you, “I gave you a vow, and I will fulfill it.”

[etincelleart]

Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou's world and atmosphere is the kind of thing I'm imagining for Spark (Gris' story). A post apocalyptic world where humanity is almost completely gone, and where nature is taking over everything and regaining an essential place.

Groups of humans accepting it and being more humble about it. Just surviving in a peaceful way with what's necessary and adapting themselves while remaining in a modern world. Roads almost totally covered of grass and moss, old remains of civilizations stuck between trees, clay houses made to be immerged in nature and discreet because humans learned tragically that they're not all powered and should be careful to not attract whatever terrible is out there (because in my story there would still be some dangerous things, in addition to surviving in a wild world where humans are just a part of it as any being).

Images are from the manga and the OVAs.

[shuadotcom]

Tell Me You Want Me | PJM (M)

❧ Summary: Spring break doesn’t mean much to you since you dropped out of college and joined the working world. This spring though, your parents demand you take off of work to join them for a family vacation along with your childhood friend’s family. You eagerly agree, both to see your best friend Sunyoung, but also to rekindle things with your hometown fling, Jimin.

With him being Sunyoung's brother, the two of you are used to keeping your hook-ups a secret from everyone, but this time, Jimin tries to keep a secret of his own from you: his new girlfriend. With some new (or are they old?) feelings stirring for Jimin, you can’t keep your hands of him, even knowing that he technically belongs to someone else. Cue the drama, the mess, and plenty of hurt feelings.

❧ Pairing: Best Friend’s Brother!Jimin x Female!Reader

❧ Genres/AUs: Angst, drama, smut, fluff, best friend’s brother au, friends w/benefits to lovers au

❧ Rating: 18+ (MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED)

❧ Words: 20.7k 🫥

❧ Warnings: Infidelity, profanity, alcohol consumption, age gap (Jimin is 22, Y/n is around 26/27), sexting and exchanging nudes, oral (m & f receiving), handjob, fingering, public sex, jacuzzi sex, penetrative sex, dirty talk, choking, spitting, sub!Jimin, dom!Reader, a sneak peek of dom!Jimin

❧ Notes: FINALLY FINISHED!! Written for the Spring Break-ing the Rules project hosted by BTS Honey Hive! My destination was Cancun, Mexico. Huge, massive, giant thank you to @playmetheclassics​ and @cherrysoulth​ for being my amazing betas!! Thank you for reading through this mess - I loved reading all your commentary 😂❤️❤️ And an equally big thank you the talented @hobeemin​ for this gorgeous banner!! ❤️❤️

This fic kicked my ass lol but I’m happy with it. I tried 2 texting apps for any texting parts. I’m not sure if I like it more or less than just typing out the texts (mostly because both the apps I used are annoying lol) but hey something new!

And full disclaimer before diving in: Y/n and Jimin aren’t really meant to be “good” here lol. They’re toxic but that’s the point!! Anyway I also made a spotify playlist to go with it because why not!

Four and a half hours. That’s how long, at max, the flight from New York to Cancun, Mexico takes. On a good day, it’s quicker, but of course, this was not a good day. You wouldn’t have had such a problem with it if your flight hadn’t been delayed by two hours plus an unexpected layover in Florida. To add insult to injury, your headphones died mid-flight and you forgot your power bank to charge them. There were also more terrible, screaming children than necessary, plus your seatmates were an elderly woman that coughed the entire time and a man, in his fifties at least, that kept talking to you (see: hitting on you) the entire time.

By the time you exit the airport and get into a shuttle to the resort, you’re irritable and tired, but the prospect of seeing your parents and best friend again keeps your little bit of excitement alive and well. 

The last time you saw your childhood best friend was a year ago for her birthday. New York living is expensive, especially when you’re a humble project manager at a tech start-up, so you don’t have the financial means to make it back home to Southern California as much as you’d like. 

This spring break trip was organized by your parents as an excuse to get both Sunyoung’s and your family all together again. They even footed part of your plane ticket, which you’re grateful for. After you dropped out of college and left higher education in the past, you remember how you very nearly moved back home to figure out your next plan. Still, when one of your old roommates referred you to the tech company she had started at, you took the job and you’ve stayed on the East coast.

You wish more than anything that you didn’t regret leaving home to experience life somewhere new as an adult, but you can’t.

Most of the time, when you’re in your aged, cramped studio that you can barely afford, you want so badly to be back in your parent's house in California, surrounded by people that leave you. Instead of being alone with no support system. But your pride keeps that from happening so you fake enthusiasm anytime someone from home asks how you like the city.

Thankfully, the ride to the resort is much quicker and less aggravating than the flight so you don’t have much time to be alone with your thoughts, which relieves you. As you thank your driver and get your suitcase unloaded, you hear a voice call out to you.

Whipping around, you see a second shuttle pulling up to join you at the resort entrance. Sunyoung leaps out of the van as soon as it parks and throws herself into your arms.

“Y/n!” She squeals, and you return the enthusiasm. 

Sunyoung has been your longest-running friendship since she and her family became your next-door neighbors when you were both nine. She and her family moved from South Korea because her parents wanted to give her and her then-five-year-old brother “the American dream.” 

When you think of her brother at that moment, your eyes dart over her shoulder then as you watch him step out of the van, the sun reflecting off of his freshly dyed red hair. 

The last time you saw Park Jimin was via an Instagram post a few weeks ago showcasing his new dye job. The color suited his beautiful features wonderfully, but when you texted him that, you received nothing in response. He’s another reason you said yes to this trip (not that either of your families can know). 

Jimin has had a crush on you probably since he entered middle school and knew what a crush was. He was always your best friend’s annoying little brother to you. Constantly barging into her room when you were hanging out, pranking you whenever he had the chance, and making childish jokes when you were around.

As he got older, his childishness turned into shyness when he saw you, even going as far as to run out of the room if you were in it. Both of your families knew of his crush and teased him about it, but nothing much came of it because why would it?

When Jimin entered high school and you were about to graduate, he was bold enough to ask to be your date to his freshman prom. You turned him down of course, but that didn’t stop him from starting to be bolder in attempting to flirt with you. It was always playful and you thought nothing of it because again, he was your best friend’s little brother.

Things between you and Jimin changed when he graduated high school. You were already living in New York but flew back home for his graduation party. Not having paid much attention to Jimin’s social media, you hadn’t even noticed how puberty had changed him.

The whiny little boy with the glasses and bowl cut was replaced by an eighteen-year-old, lean yet fit man with blonde hair, piercings, and an intoxicating smile. When you walked into the Parks’ house that afternoon and caught sight of him talking to his mom in the kitchen you barely recognized him. 

You spent all day sneaking glances, your brain barely comprehending that this is the same boy that cried when you hid a Spiderman toy from him years ago.

As if he had known you were confused at the sight of him, Jimin cornered you outside later that night after everyone had gone inside. To this day, your conversation seems like a blur to you. One minute you were congratulating Jimin on finally getting out of high school and the next, he was reaching forward and pulling you into a kiss.

It caught you off guard and probably lasted longer than it should, but when you finally pulled away, Jimin was embarrassed and mumbled apology after apology. He tripped over himself to explain how he’d always liked you, and since he was of age, maybe you wouldn’t see him as a kid anymore. 

While you accepted his apology you still turned him down. He was your best friend’s little brother. He just graduated high school and you were four years older and you had literally grown up with him. To you, it would look weird and it was left at that.

Two years later he flew to New York citing he was thinking of going to dance school there. Naturally, you showed him around and let him stay on the couch in your apartment while your roommate was away. On his second night in the city, one minute you were talking about your favorite pizza place and the next he was kissing you again. And this time, you didn’t push him away and you didn’t tell him no. Jimin was 20 years old and so shy yet so confident with you and you couldn’t ignore how attracted to him you were.

You let Jimin kiss the breath out of you and fuck you into your mattress that night. You let him do it every night he stayed with you. Then, you let him text you and send you videos and pictures when he’s horny. It went from texts to phone sex to facetime calls where he cried for you while he came. 

Each time you went home after that, even though it wasn’t often, you and Jimin found places to be alone together. You fucked in each other’s houses when your families were out. You gave him handjobs in his car. He ate you out in the bathroom of a grocery store when you were picking things up for a family barbeque. Anywhere you and Jimin could find to be alone you had sex. This continued virtually when you were away and Jimin became your longest-running friends-with-benefits relationship - somehow lasting two years.

It’d have been two and a half had Jimin’s communication with you not slowed down to the point where two weeks ago he went completely radio silent. He was barely replying to any of your messages and stopped answering video calls.

“Y/n?” Sunyoung’s voice pulls you out of your daze. You blinked hard a few times, unsure how long you were too far down into your memories. 

“What?”

“I said, our parents want us all to eat lunch together, but we can do something after and you didn’t say anything for like a whole minute.”

“Shit, sorry, I’m just tired from that hell flight. I must’ve had a war flashback or something.”

Laughing, Sunyung loops her arm through yours. “Well, that’s nothing a cocktail or four can’t help!” She gives you a wink that you return while also trying to see what Jimin is doing. 

“Good. I need to shower first because I feel so damn crusty.” Sunyoung agrees, gesturing to follow her to both of your parents still exiting the shuttle. After greeting both your parents and hers with lots of hugs and kisses, you anxiously await for Jimin to step around the van so you can see him fully.

He’s been leaning down into the car talking, and you’re getting a little impatient. It isn’t until you reach your hand up to wave at him that you see a head of dark hair emerge from the car, and you see it’s a girl. A girl that grips Jimin’s arm in the same way you do to him when he’s kissing the breath out of you. 

She turns and makes eye contact with you sending an unsuspecting smile.

“Oh, Y/n, this is Jimin’s girlfriend, Momo. Momo, this is my best friend, Y/n!” You immediately make eye contact with Jimin, who looks away in record time. Looking at Momo again you greet her, plastering on an artificial smile. 

Jimin has a girlfriend and he has never told you. Something that feels suspiciously like jealousy grips your stomach.

Your performance at lunch is Oscar-worthy. Every question from your parents or the Parks about your job is answered with smiles. You have an entertaining yet informative story for every inquiry from Sunyoung about your apartment and the city. No one around you is in tune with the blazing looks you keep sending Jimin’s way except him.

His brown eyes can’t help but dart to you every few minutes, only staying trained on you for mere seconds before he pulls himself away. Kudos to him as well, for keeping up his usual joking, outgoing demeanor even as you stare into his soul. 

He’s been ghosting you for weeks because he has a girlfriend that he never once told you about. 

“Still no one in your dating life, Y/n?” Your mom’s question has your eyes snapping from Jimin to her in record time.

“Mom!” You groan indignantly. “No,” you say quickly, rolling your eyes before your next line of questioning pops into your head. “But it looks like at least one of us have found someone?” The question is directed at Jimin and as the whole table looks his way, a red hue blossoms onto his round cheeks.

“Oh, uh yeah,” he says with a cough, avoiding you. Everyone laughs his behavior off as shyness, but you know the stuttering and nervousness are for you.

“We met in dance class last year,” Momo supplies, beaming at Jimin who is too busy stirring his lemonade. “He was too scared to ask me out so I had to do it a few months ago.” She laughs, everyone joining in, including you. She’s pretty - clear skin and light makeup, a brown bob with bangs that fit her face well. Dark eyes, round cheeks, and a cute smile - it’s clear why Jimin likes her. Her smiles and kindness seem genuine.

“Yeah, I’m surprised you agreed to come on vacation,” Sunyoung says to Momo. “I keep telling you, Jimin is way too messy to share a room with and a pain in the ass to be around twenty-four hours a day, but you’ll see. You’ve only been together for what, like six months? You’ll learn all you need to know so you can do better!” She cackles at her little brother, leaning over to poke him in the ribs as she makes fun of him. You smile and jest along with her, ignoring the thickness in your throat at knowing how long they've been dating.

After lunch, Jimin announces he’s going upstairs to get his swimsuit for the pool. Everyone else already brought theirs down or changed under their clothes before lunch so they decide to head outside. You follow, but at the last minute let out a curse with the excuse that you forgot yours too.

No one is any wiser as everyone heads out without you with the intent of claiming a spot for both families.

Jimin is already in the elevator when you reach it, but as you exit and start down the hall to your room, you see the redhead with his hands in his pockets, walking to his room.

“Jimin,” you call out with extra sweetness to your voice. He freezes in his tracks, spine straight as he waits for you to catch up. “Hi.” When you’re finally next to him, head tilted to look at his face you see just how panicked he looks with wide brown eyes staring at the floor.

“Hey.”

“You know it’s pretty fucked up to leave people on read for weeks. It’s even more fucked not to tell the person you’ve been sharing nudes with that you have an entire girlfriend at home.” Your tone is casual, but there’s still attitude behind your words.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, okay? I just didn’t know when or how to tell you.”

“You could’ve said something in the last six months. We’ve been cyber-fucking this entire time you’ve been with her, Jimin.” You stop walking when you reach his and Momo’s room.

“I don’t have any good explanation okay? I was just so nervous to tell you. I didn’t want to stop seeing you, but I also just, I don’t know, wanted someone at home with me. You’re so far away most of the time. I thought maybe if I said yes to the cute girl on campus that likes me, it’d help me.”

“Help you what? Have someone in real life to fuck when I’m not around?”

“Yes, b-but not like that!” Jimin turns to face you completely, looking at you with something unreadable in his eyes.

“I was hoping that she could fill the void that you don’t want to fill. The whole dating me part.”

Ouch. The implication is clear in his words. You refuse to commit to anything other than sex so he looked for someone else to fulfill his girlfriend needs. It’s not as though you don’t like Jimin for more than sex, you just haven’t unpacked those feelings fully, what with the desire to keep it such a secret trumping all else. 

“Y/n, look, I like Momo, I do. We have a lot in common and my family likes her but…” He trails off, still not meeting your gaze.

“But what?”

“But she’s not you.” Jimin meets your eyes then, his words coupled with the look he’s giving you stirs something confusing inside of you. Shaking it off, you move close enough to Jimin so that his back presses against the door, ignoring the way your brain is asking if you really want to keep doing this.

You do.

“Sounds like you really missed me?” Jimin’s head nods frantically, his breath hitching when you slot your thigh between his. “Enough to cheat on your girlfriend, Minie?” The nodding stops and he seems to consider this for a few seconds before he breathes out a ‘yes’. You lean forward and kiss him after this, your gloss-covered lips working expertly against his chapped ones.

Jimin’s hands rest on your hips while yours move up to either side of his shoulders, caging him against the door. 

The two of you stay like that for a while, making up for the time away from one another and the lust you feel whenever you’re in any proximity to one another.

When the elevator down the hall dings, you pull back, both of you panting while straightening your clothes. 

“I missed you too, baby.” You whisper in his ear before fast-walking three doors down to your and Sunyoung’s room and slipping inside before whoever is in the elevator can catch a glimpse of you.

Once in the room, you let out a breath, and move to dig through your suitcase for your bathing suit. Jimin’s lips are a trap, and if not for the unwanted visitor, you’d have likely done more than kiss, but now isn’t the time. 

Aside from the party downstairs waiting, your thoughts and feelings are a jumbled mess. Lust mixed with confusion mixed with guilt. Truth be told since you started this thing with Jimin, guilt was always in the back of your mind. Not telling anyone about the two of you weighed on you at times, especially when it came to Sunyoung. You don’t know quite what her reaction will be to her childhood best friend fucking her little brother, but you can’t imagine it’d be anything positive.

Then there are both of your parents who would have too many questions and thoughts, but a new blanket of shame takes over knowing that Jimin has had someone in his life other than you this whole time, so it’s a lot to take in. You do know that something in you hates the idea of Jimin being with someone else. You’re sure he fucks other people when you’re away from home because it’s not like you were exclusive, but you had only slept with a few other people. You haven’t dated anyone though and you didn’t think he would either, but that was proving to be a wrong assumption on your part.

With all of this in mind, for some reason, the idea of never sleeping with Jimin again seems terrible. Not kissing him or cuddling - it’s not something you can imagine just not doing anymore. Momo seems sweet, but you were here first to be fair. And clearly, Jimin still wants you, so as long as you continue to stay hush about it, maybe you can keep living with your guilt and your secrets since he apparently can too.

Everyone stays by the pool for a couple of hours before going back to their rooms to change for the evening music performance your parents want everyone to go to before dinner. Sunyoung already declares that she’ll be going to bed after, having had one too many cocktails at the pool. She’s already going on about, planning the morning yoga class the two of you will take tomorrow followed by breakfast and the spa. You let her go on all afternoon, both excited about spending time with her but also planning how and when you’ll get Jimin to yourself.

You too have a good number of drinks as you lounge and occasionally swim, all the while doing as much as you can to make sure Jimin looks at you in your bikini. You dunk underwater and pop back up in the sexiest way possible, his desperate eyes locked on your every movement. Anytime you need to bend down to climb out of the water, you do it where he can see and it seems to work.

When your families go to the recreation room in the resort to watch the show, you sit between Jimin and Sunyoung, keeping most of your body nonchalantly pressed against him. Each time you shift to talk to your parents next to him and Momo, your breasts purposely rub against his arm and every time, Jimin fidgets in his seat, doing his best to hide his discomfort.

The band onstage begins playing an upbeat, catchy song which, given the amount of alcohol most guests have been tossing back all day, quickly has people on their feet. As the beginning of the song plays, Sunyoung jumps up, pulling you with her to the dancefloor a short way away from the seats.

Your families clap along, cheering the two of you on as you move to the music, both of you laughing along while moving around one another. Your dress, a slinky, short, royal blue-colored slip number keeps perfectly moving around your curves, keeping Jimin entranced the whole time.

Even after a few more songs and well into dinner, Jimin seems to be different than when you arrived. Earlier, he so desperately kept himself from making eye contact, but now he practically does nothing other than watch your every move and hang onto your every word.

At one point, Sunyoung jokes with you during a bathroom break that she thinks her brother’s high school crush on you is coming back.

“It’s gross the way he was staring at you when we were dancing.” She sticks her tongue out as she washes her hands but you just chuckle.

“I would hope that anyone under the age of 40 was checking me out. I wore this dress for a reason!” You wink at her through the mirror and you both laugh, Sunyoung launching into how much she hopes she can get laid this trip. You agree, leaving out who of course, you hope it’ll be with.

To ensure this happens sooner rather than later, two hours later, when you’re back in your room and Sunyoung is in the shower, you decide to take a quick video for Jimin.  

Once you hear her humming along to the soft sounds of one of her playlists, you turn the tv volume up a little more and sit on the chair in front of the room’s full-length mirror. 

Taking position, you zoom the camera in to focus on your neck and down. After hitting record, your hand sensually slides from around your neck, down to your breast, and squeezes.

“Jimin,” you whisper into the phone. “I’ve missed you so much. I need you tomorrow.” Creeping your hand lower, you slowly zoom in, stopping at the bottom of your sleep shirt. You lift it, showing off your little shorts. 

“Can you make time for me?”

Shirt between your teeth, you pull down the front of your shorts, wriggling them to your knees, and lean back in the chair. In this new position, you open your legs as wide as you can, giving Jimin a full view of your pussy before stopping the video. That’s all he deserves until tomorrow. He’s left you hanging for two weeks already so he can wait another night.

Video sent, you get back into bed, scrolling on Instagram until your phone vibrates with a text from Jimin.

A picture comes through not soon after and it’s exactly what you thought it’d be: a picture of Jimin holding his hard dick, his hand wrapped around it tightly.

Biting your lip, you clamp your thighs together, willing yourself to calm down. Resisting the strong urge to continue with him, you say goodnight, telling him to be patient and put your phone on the charger, letting your travel exhaustion force you to sleep.

Somehow, Sunyoung managed to set an alarm for the next morning so that you don’t miss yoga on the beach. Bleary-eyed, you get up (after she’s jumped on your bed for nearly five minutes) and change into comfortable clothes. 

While you had initially been skeptical, seeing how you’d been going to the same yoga studio back home for a few years, it was enjoyable and you were in a much better mood. Afterwards, the two of you stuff yourselves with breakfast burritos and fresh-pressed juice before happily heading to the resort spa.

Sunyoung scheduled a whole package for the two of you complete with massages, seaweed wraps, facials, and a manicure and pedicure. It’s a much-needed pamper session and quality time you and your best friend needed.

New York City has been great for gaining more independence, but that’s about it. You’ve made a few decent friends at your job and from college, but you miss your family and your closest friends more than anything, and being with Sunyoung again reminds you of home and all the inside jokes and stories you share.

During your pedicures, the two of you recline with your facial masks, gossiping about people from high school that she still sees around. She’s talking about a guy that’s always had a crush on her and how she finally had sex with him when she shifts the conversation to you.

“Okay, so like, I know you told our parents you don’t have anyone in your life, but be honest with me.”

You fight the urge to open your eyes and keep cool. It’s not the first time you’ve feared being found out by her.

“Why do you think I’m not being honest?”

“Y/n, I’ve known you since we were barely stringing together coherent sentences. I’ve had a feeling you’ve been seeing someone for a while, but you just never told me. I could be wrong and my best friend radar could be shit now, but I don’t think that’s the case.”

Unfortunately for you, her senses are still as sharp as ever. She’s staring at you, gaze unwavering as she waits for your answer, so you make the split decision to tell her a half-truth.

“Fine. I’ve been sleeping with someone, but it’s completely casual.”

Sunyoung aggressively shuffles in her seat and when you crack an eye open to look at her, she’s beaming back at you looking victorious.

“I knew it! I always know these things, especially about you! I don’t know why you’d be dumb enough to try and hide it from me. Now tell me all about them, you filthy liar.”

Letting out a sigh, you adjust in your chair to look at her, your mind working overtime to form the words to tell her what you can without blowing your cover.

“Well, I met him through a friend of mine at work. He’s her cousin and it hasn’t been anything serious, but we’ve been messing around.”

“Okay, and how long has that been going on?”

“Like two years I think.”

Sunyoung chokes on her water, apologizing to her nail tech for jolting so suddenly in her seat.

“I’m sorry, you’ve been fucking him for two years and you’re only friends with benefits?! Bullshit.”

“What do you mean bullshit?” 

“You’re not about to sit here and tell me you’ve been messing around with someone for two years and there isn’t something more there.”

“I mean, there isn’t! We’re only sleeping together.”

“Yeah because one of you is too scared to do anything else.” She shrugs, eyeing you intensely over her water bottle. 

You blink at her, a frown forming. “I don’t think so, girl. I think this is just easier.”

Sunyoung rolls her eyes. “Easier for who? Did you tell each other it’s easier? Or do just you think it's easier?”

“When did it become about just me?” You scoff, a strange discomfort overcoming you as the conversation progresses. Yes, it’s easier for you to just sleep with and sext Jimin. Who he’s related to aside, you’re on opposite sides of the country and long-distance is messy. Plus you’ve only ever briefly considered dating Jimin, but nothing can happen. Your arrangement works for both of you. 

“It’s not just about you, but I want you to know you just had a whole mini-monologue these last few seconds. There was nothing behind those eyes.” Sunyoung laughs at the huff you let out as you turn to hide your expression. 

“I forgot you’re weird and intuitive when you want to be. Stop it,” you half-joke.

“Nope, never. I just know a lot about people and their feelings. You’re lucky I can’t read minds because I would tell you so much more about yourself than I do now.” Your best friend winks at you before telling her nail tech she has to use the bathroom.

“And by the way,” Sunyoung says as she gingerly stands up. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything about what you have going on with this guy. I’m sure you both have your reasons for keeping it friends-with-benefits for so long, but it may be worth thinking about how you really feel and maybe having a discussion with him about it. I have a feeling you really need to straighten things out.” She shrugs before scurrying off in her slippers.

You lay back and digest her words. Sunyoung has always had a habit of knowing you almost better than you know yourself. On one hand, dating Jimin would be much less of a pain in the ass - no more hiding and keeping so many secrets. Plus all the guilt about hiding it would vanish and finally let you breathe.

But you can’t date. He’s your best friend’s little brother. It would be a lot to explain and to navigate, and he has a whole-ass girlfriend here with him. You tell yourself once again that friends with benefits is easier for both of you and that it’s what you both want.

With freshly painted toes and fingers and relaxed muscles, you and Sunyoung leave the spa in search of lunch. You decide on a little Italian restaurant at the resort and run into both of your parents and eat with them.

“We’re heading out to do some shopping after we eat. What are you girls up to?” Your dad asks, stealing a forkful of pasta off of your plate.

You swat at his hand. “I was thinking of taking a nap. Today relaxed me too much so now I don’t want to do anything.” You lie, having already texted Jimin earlier today formulating when to meet.

“Boo! I wanted to go boating! They have a little marina and they’ll take you out and let you see dolphins.” Sunyoung gives you a thumbs down.

“You know I don’t like boats.”

“I thought you grew out of that!”

“Have you ever seen me on a boat other than our middle school graduation where I cried and found out I was in fact, scared of being on boats?” Your best friend pouts, sighing dramatically.

“Fine! I’ll see if Jimin and Momo want to go with me.” Sunyoung pulls out her phone at the same time you glance at yours under the table.

When you sat down for lunch, Jimin texted you, saying that he was still trying to convince Momo to go out and do something without him so you could come to his room. Sunyoung wanting to go boating works out in your favor because she soon announces that Momo is going with her because Jimin isn’t feeling well.

“What going on?” His mom seems worried.

“Oh, he said he may have been out in the sun too long while they were at the pool earlier today.”

Mrs. Park tsks. “I bet he didn’t put on any sunscreen. I warned him.”

“Yeah well luckily Momo came and she’s not afraid of boats!” Sunyoung playfully sticks her tongue out at you and you return the gesture.

Lunch goes by slowly, anticipation building at the prospect of finally being alone with Jimin. Momo joins you all to meet Sunyoung as you finish eating. The goodbyes are quick, your mom reminding everyone to be back to have dinner together. Sunyoung promises to text when she’s on her way, threatening you to be ready so you can do something fun. 

The group waves at one another and as soon as you see everyone get into separate resort vans, you turn on your heel and walk as conspicuously yet quickly as you can to the elevators. 

The ride to the seventh floor seems much too long, but as soon as the doors open, you’re sprinting to Jimin’s room and knocking.

He opens the door a second later and you’re on him immediately. You barely get the door closed with your foot, but you manage to do so and fumble behind you for the lock. With one leg behind you, you lose your balance and knock Jimin against the wall as your mouths move together feverishly.

The kisses you share are sloppy and frantic but that’s exactly how you feel. It’s been a year since you’ve got to touch Jimin, to kiss Jimin, and you want to make up for missed time and so much more.

When your lungs begin to burn, you pull away, both of you gasping for air. You lean down into Jimin’s neck, teeth nipping at his soft skin.

“I’m still a little annoyed with you and this whole girlfriend situation you know.” The word is enunciated with a harsh bite.

Jimin yelps. “Y/n, I - ah!”

You lightly chuckle at his outburst, licking the red skin. “The girlfriend you didn’t tell me about.” 

“Y/n, I’m sorry.”

“All this time, you were saying you missed me. I don’t know if I believe you.” You pout up at him as your fingers undo his white button-down. Jimin’s eyes follow as you slide the shirt off of his toned shoulders.

You’d nearly forgotten how beautiful Jimin’s body is. His lithe, dancer’s body trembling under your fingertips. Mouth watering, you tear your gaze away and find the button of his shorts.

“I did miss you!”

“And what exactly did you miss about me?”

Jimin lets out a shaky breath. “Every part of you. Your soft skin how hood you always smell, your pretty hands, your thighs… so thick and warm.” He ends his sentence with a sigh as you let his shorts fall to the floor. He’s already so hard, his length straining against the fabric of his underwear. The two of you have been sexting all day whenever Sunyoung was barely looking, so you’re both plenty pent up.

“And I bet you miss what’s between my thighs.” Your tone is sweet yet authoritative, just the way Jimin likes you to treat him when you’re together like this.

“Fuck, yes I do.” He grunts when you run a finger over his print.

“Well, I suppose you can make it up to me.”

He answers in a rush, saying he’ll do anything that you want. You let out a giggle at his desperation, hiding your own. 

“How about you make me cum then, Minie? Eat me out and I’ll think about forgiving you.” 

Jimin doesn’t even answer, instead grabbing for you and practically dragging you to the bed, tossing you onto it. He’s on you in an instant, pillow lips kissing your neck as he works to undo the knot on the crop top you’re wearing. Once the fabric is open, he pulls down your bandeau, lavishing your collarbones and breasts with open-mouth kisses.

Your back arches when he greedily takes a nipple into his mouth, suckling each one for a while before he keeps going down to eagerly get to your shorts. Lifting yourself from the bed you help him shimmy your shorts and panties off and in an instant, he’s burying his face in your crotch.

Jimin lets out a groan as he loudly inhales your scent, such a lewd act having you clench around nothing. He doesn’t leave you wanting for long though, as he then licks a stripe from your entrance up to your clit, and before you have a chance to process that, his lips take a hold of your clit as he sucks and flicks your sensitive bud with his tongue.

“Oh!” You can’t help but wriggle in his grasp as he takes a hold of your thighs, delving his tongue between your folds, mouth moving as if you’re his last meal.

Jimin slurps at your pussy, grunting and sighing while he works. Your eyes slip close and your fingers find his red strands, yanking him impossibly closer. 

“Shit, Jimin, you’re so good with your mouth. You love eating my pussy that much huh?”

“Mmph!” He answers, not leaving his position, his tongue now pistoning in and out of you. Jimin angles his head so that with every move, his nose rubs against your clit, the dual stimulation bringing you that much closer.

“Yes, yes, yes, just like that, Minie! Don’t stop!” Your words are pleading and he obliges, never having been able to say no to you. 

Less than a minute later, your back is arching as shockwaves shoot through you, and you let out a scream of Jimin’s name. You cum hard enough that you’re still shaking under him, but he doesn’t stop. Instead, Jimin moves again, his mouth suctioning around your clit as he easily slides a finger into your wet hole. 

Instinctively, your body tries to shrink away, but he doesn’t let you. He keeps a strong grip on your hips as he fingers you, quickly stuffing another finger into you. Torn between dragging him closer again and pushing him away, you settle for resting one of your legs on his shoulder. You keep a hold on his hair, your rapidly approaching your second orgasm already making you feel as if you’ll float away.

This is why you can’t leave him alone. His hands, his mouth, his everything keeps your body aching for him and only him. You’ve never been touched or kissed or fucked by any other person as good as the way Jimin does. The two of you barely needed to have any conversation about what the other liked and didn’t like when you started sleeping together. Somehow you, and especially he just knew.

Does that make you selfish? Absolutely, but how can you find it in yourself to call it quits when Jimin can leave you nothing but a sweaty, ruined wreck before even properly fucking you?

The second time you cum, is even harder than the first and actually makes your muscles sore from tensing so hard as you make a mess on Jimin’s fingers. He gasps for air as he finally lets your sore clit out of his mouth, only to move back down to your entrance to clean you up.

You whine at the overstimulation but let him finish, finally pushing him away when he attempts to dive back in for the third time.

“That’s enough for now, you maniac!” You laugh, seeing your juices glisten on his chin as he smiles up at you. Upon seeing him, something stirs in your heart instead of your crotch, but you will it away.

Instead, you sit up, pulling Jimin’s face to yours in a bruising kiss. You reach for his crotch, feeling just how hard he is and he mewls into your mouth.

“You’re so good to me, Minie,” you break away, placing kisses on his ear and neck. “Can I reward you?”

“Please!” He begs, his needy tone already causing wetness to pool between your thighs again.

The two of you make quick work to switch positions, Jimin now on his back against the pillows as you settle between his legs, yanking his underwear off.

His girthy cock is so hard it’s bright red, pre-cum dribbling out as soon as your hand ghosts over it. Jimin is panting as he watches you tease him, pout intensifying as he watches you stroke him with barely any pressure.

Deciding to be nice and not play with him, you lean down and slowly take him into your mouth, inch by inch until he’s in as far as you can fit him.

“Y/n!” He keens as soon as you wrap your lips around him, your hand grasping what your mouth doesn’t reach. Hollowing your cheeks, you begin to bob on his cock, the slurping from your mouth and the babble from Jimin above you filling your ears as you close your eyes and concentrate. 

Truth be told, you’ve never been a fan of giving blowjobs, but as with so many other things, it all comes back to Jimin. He’s so different in every way from anyone else. You don’t mind the weight on your tongue with the way that Jimin becomes boneless and pliant whenever his dick is in your mouth.

He’s generally boisterous and goofy with everyone around you, but when he’s with just you, that dies down. He’s still lively and chatty but on a softer scale. It’s then when he’s under you like this, completely submitting to you and whatever you want, that he becomes the most soft-spoken version of himself you’ve ever seen. He’ll let you do anything you want to him as long as it’s safe and makes him feel good, so you do.

Besides, how could you deny him when he cries out your name in such a desperate, beautiful way that he does now?

“Please, please, Y/n!” 

“Hmm? Need something, Minie?” You lift just enough to speak, before deciding to take back what you thought earlier about being nice and relaxing your throat to swallow him down, deep enough that your nose grazes his pubic hair.

“Ahh!” He bucks his hips up out of reflex, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. “S-sorry! I’m sor-!” His apology is quick, but you still reach down and grip his balls harshly as a small punishment for choking you which cuts off his sentence, gagging on his words.

Jimin’s eyes lock back on you, your hand back to stroking what’s not in your mouth while you massage his balls. He’s very clearly pleading without words and you already know he’s close to cumming just from your mouth alone.

Just to fuck with him a little more, you pull back from him just enough to wrap your lips around his cockhead and suck hard, nibbling at the overly sensitive skin just a little.

“Y/n, please! I need you so badly. I wanna fuck you!” He sounds close to tears and that’s when you decide it’s time to put you both out of your misery.

“You have to fuck me good,” you say around him. “Make up for lost times.”

Jimin, bites his bottom lip into his mouth, nodding his head furiously. “Mmhmm. I will, I will!” 

With a smirk, you let go of him with a ‘pop,’ and position yourself over his cock. You’re more than ready to cum again, your pussy aching to be filled with him, so you follow his instructions as to where his condoms are in his suitcase. Once the rubber is snug on him, you carefully sink down, burying him inside of you in one go.

Both of you let out identical sounds of relief at finally getting to the best part. Hands planted on his firm chest, you start to move your hips with enough force to jolt the whole mattress.

“Ah! Y/n, so good,” Jimin cries out, his large hands reaching out to grip your thighs as he fixates on your tits bouncing with each jerk of your body. 

“Fuck, Minie. You’re so big, you stretch me out so good.” Your voice is thick with arousal and neediness, matching his.

Everything else around you melts away as you ride Jimin, both of you filling the room with a harmony of moans and squelches. The air around you is hot, almost stifling while you lose the rhythm you built up, the pleasure making you unable to concentrate on your movements.

“Oh, Jimin I’m so close,” You rasp out, voice already sore. 

He takes this as his cue to plant his feet on the bed better and begin thrusting up, bouncing you on his cock faster. You’re breathless now, head swimming with nothing but the way Jimin always fills you up just right and knows how to make you feel good.

One of your hands scrambles to find your clit, desperately chasing the end as both of your bodies begin to tremble in tandem.

Your other manicured hand trails up Jimin’s chest to his throat as you wrap your hand around and squeeze. His brown eyes widen before rolling into the back of his head, plump lips falling open. His hips pick up speed, moving so ferociously that you nearly lose your balance and fall off him.

Eyes closed and hips bucking wildly, Jimin looks so deliciously sinful underneath you. His mouth hangs open as you loosen your grip slightly, letting him take a deep gulp of air. You can’t help leaning over and pursing your lips so that a glob of spit drips from your mouth and into his open one. Jimin greedily closes his mouth, and you feel him swallow under your palm, not missing a beat.

“You’re such a good boy for me. I want you to cum with me, baby boy.” Your words are ragged, but still, make Jimin react as his breath hitches. This is what sets him over the edge, and he shoves upwards, hipbones digging into your thighs as he fills the condom inside of you, his cock pulsating as he does.

Releasing your grip on his throat, you brace your hand on his chest again for balance as you cum as well, your eyes crossing as your body nearly falls forward at the force, your yelp mixing with the exquisite, breathy sounds Jimin is making. 

When the gyration of your hips is too much for both of you, you ease yourself up and off of his lap, toppling onto the mattress next to him. The only sound in the room is your labored breathing as you collect yourselves.

“I missed you. So much,” Jimin finally says. The tone in his words is laced with something different. Something that he’s presented you with before, but this time, it sits heavier in your chest than before. Jimin still has feelings for you - that has never changed from day one together, but you never get into what you feel. Mostly because, your feelings for Jimin are complicated, especially now with a girlfriend in the mix.

In an attempt to change the mood, you roll over and grab your phone, seeing texts from Sunyoung with photos of her and Momo in their lifejackets and the ocean behind them.

“Looks like your sister and girlfriend are enjoying the boat.” You say ‘girlfriend’ in a way that makes Jimin sigh.

“Y/n, I said I was sorry! Seriously I know I should’ve told you about Momo.”

“I’ve never been the other woman with anyone. It feels wrong.” You voice out loud, and you mean it. Remorse that you’ve been causing him to hurt this girl who seems to genuinely like him gnaws at your brain again.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry okay? This kind of just spiraled out of control and I don’t wanna make excuses for myself, but I just wasn’t thinking right when she asked me out. I was just thinking about you and didn’t wanna lose you.” His expression is serious, matching the certainty in his tone.

“Jimin, I believe you, but if you want me still, you have to break it off with Momo. You shouldn’t just keep her around to be a placeholder.”

“I will! If you want me to, I’ll break up with her. When do you want me to?”

“Uh, I don’t know. When do you think you should?”

Scratching the back of his neck nervously he breaks your gaze, staring at the ceiling.

“Well, uh, I mean I don’t think I should do it while we’re here, I mean that’d be hella awkward wouldn’t it? We just got here and I at least want her to have a good vacation, you know?” 

Frowning, you mull his words around in your head. If he breaks up with her now, on day two of vacation, they still have the rest of the week to awkwardly be around each other and your families. He has a point, that maybe he should at least let her enjoy the week before breaking things off.

“I guess so. But does that mean we should stop -”

“Please don’t say that!” Jimin cuts you off. “I just, I can’t go this whole week without kissing or touching you. I’ve already had to wait months to be with you again. I’ll go crazy having you so close and not being able to do anything. I know it’s wrong, but can we please keep being terrible people for just a few more days? I need you.”

Jimin’s distraught, the idea of this being the only time he gets to be in bed with you distressing him.

Against your better judgment (including your conscious which is so loudly reminding you how terrible cheating is) after just a few seconds you break down, agreeing you won’t stay away. You’ve already fooled around for the first six months of his relationship, so what’s another week?

“Fine. But you need to end it with her when you get home, okay?”

“Thank you!” His eagerness makes you laugh. You smile up at him and he returns it tenfold, his eyes disappearing with the gesture.

“Want to take a nap with me before we have to be perceived by our families again?” Jimin jokes, clearly really wishing you’ll say yes.

“Sure, Minie.” He eagerly rolls back over on his back, opening his arm to beckon you over to him. Phone in hand you oblige, helping him take off the used condom first, then snuggling into his embrace.

It’s completely normal to cuddle and sleep with your friend with benefits. You and Jimin have done it before and it doesn’t make things weird. You tell yourself over and over as you drift off.

“Jimin?!” A call of Jimin’s names has both of you jolting up, wide-eyed and alert. “Jimin! The deadbolt is on!” Momo’s voice calls to Jimin from the other side of the hotel door. You and he share one single look before you fling yourselves from the bed, scrambling for your clothes. 

He gives you a panicked look as his phone rings from under your shirt, Momo’s picture showing on the screen. You toss him his phone as you pull your bandeau and shirt on, desperately scrounging around for your panties.

“Hello?” He clears his throat when he answers while pulling his shorts up.

“You’re in the room, but you’re not opening the door! I heard your phone.”

“Shit, sorry, I’m in the bathroom, but I’ll be right out.” You’re both clothed then, but the realization that you’re trapped in the hotel room with him with only one way out hits you.

“Hurry up. I want to shower, before dinner.”

“Okay, I’ll only be a few seconds.” He hangs up and looks as though he’s ready to cry.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” you whisper to soothe him. “Look, I’ll get under the bed. When she’s in the bathroom, I’ll make a run for it, okay?”

Pouting, Jimin agrees and he goes to unlock the door as you crawl underneath the hotel bed.

You listen as Momo comes into the room. The sound of them sharing a kiss has your face scrunching in discomfort. 

“Ew, Jimin, did you just puke or something? Your face smells weird.” Momo smelling you on her boyfriend makes you both mortified and oddly prideful.

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, I did, sorry. I wasn’t feeling great, but I’m alright now.”

“If you start to feel icky at any point tonight let me know,” she coos at him before walking across the room to the bathroom. “I’m just going to shower then we can get ready and go.” As you’re about to crawl out, you see her feet appear again. Luckily you’re half out on the floor on the side of the bed that she can’t see. “You can join me if you want to of course. We have plenty of time before we have to meet everyone else.” What you presume to be Momo’s tube top falls to the floor and from where you are you can see Jimin gawking at her.

“Yeah. Okay. Let me just um, make sure my phone is charging.”

“M'kay. But don’t leave me waiting.” Her feet disappear into the bathroom again and when you hear the sound of the shower you scurry out and dash across the floor on all fours to get past the bathroom door and to the room door. 

Before you sneak out, Jimin leans out to kiss you, not caring that he just did the same to another woman. 

“See you at dinner.” He says with a smile. He pokes his head out into the hallway before you, citing it was clear and you slink out, giving him a final kiss before rushing to your room. The shower is running when you enter so you call out to Sunyoung.

“Hey!”

“Y/n? Where were you? I came in and you weren’t here.”

“Oh yeah, I wanted a pre-dinner snack so I went downstairs to grab something. I lost track of time.”

“Answer your phone next time! I know you don’t like boats but I brought you a dolphin shirt anyway!” You glance at the shirt on your bed, another rush of guilt washing over you. Your best friend was thinking about you while she was doing an activity that you were afraid of while you were fucking her brother. 

An unpleasant feeling swirls in you as you couple this with nearly getting caught not even five minutes ago and you spend far too long standing in the middle of the room. Should you keep doing this? Is this crushing remorse worth it? You’re conflicted and start to descend into a heavy conversation with yourself when Sunyoung calling your name stops that in its tracks.

“What?” You yell back, louder than intended.

“I asked if you wanted to shower too. I’m almost done.”

“Oh, yeah, I will,” you nod even though she can’t see you. Seeing how you’re still covered in your and Jimin’s sweat from earlier, you realize how gross you feel.

“Alright, I’ll leave the water on!” You get ready for your shower, trying to talk yourself out of the headspace you’re entering. You’ll do some more soul-searching later, but for now, you want to carry on the rest of the evening as if your life is normal. Thoughts of Jimin and what you do with him will have to wait.

Your Jimin thoughts intrude quicker than you wanted them to. When you meet the families downstairs for dinner. Everyone is dressed fairly formally since your parents scheduled a wine tasting after dinner. Jimin and Momo join you and Sunyoung in the elevator and you have to pinch yourself to stop staring at him. Form-fitting black slacks hug his muscular thighs and ass. A black button-down with the sleeves rolled up and the top two buttons undone. You’re convinced he’s doing this on purpose - that he remembers just how much you appreciate it when his clothes fit him just right.

During dinner, your families sit at a large round table and somehow you’ve lucked out sitting across from Jimin. You can’t stop yourself from teasing him, seizing this opportunity to slip your shoe off and rest your foot against his thigh. 

He jumps, using the excuse that he felt a chill.

“Maybe if you weren’t walking around with your shirt open like you’re somebody,” Sunyoung snorts.

Jimin sneers at his sister. “I look better than you.”

“In your fucking dreams. Shut up and put your pepperoni nipples away.”

“Fuck off!” 

“Hey, both of you shut up!” Mr. Park chides his kids. Both Jimin and Sunyoung shoot each other one last dirty look before Sunyoung turns to talk to you. You do your best to listen and ignore yet another negative wave of emotion rolling over you. That back-and-forth reminds you once again of who Jimin is. You watched him and Sunyoung argue with one another since Jimin was in elementary school. And his dick was in your mouth mere hours ago.

You toss your glass of champagne back, telling yourself as loud as you can to stop. “Stop with so many self-realizations and just enjoy your vacation! It’s only the second night!”

You’re determined to listen to yourself, and you do so through the rest of dinner. Even after that, when your families move to another large room for the wine tasting. You and Sunyoung giggle and chat over glass after glass, focusing on nothing but you and her.

By the end of it, you have a sufficient buzz going, and you’re feeling much better. You go to bed easily, falling asleep in no time with much less stress than you had earlier.

Wine can only do so much for you. You quickly learn as the next few days go by. When you’re not with Sunyoung or with your parents or both families, you’re taking any opportunity to be alone with Jimin. Whether it’s letting him finger you in the stairwell when everyone was spread about the resort or sucking him off in the bathroom while everyone was waiting for their desserts after dinner. 

Your time at the resort is only a week, so even though your conscious is beating your ass every time you sneak away, your pussy refuses to listen, only focused on the feeling and the sensation that is Jimin. 

The only problem is after you both get what you want, you’re distracted by how terrible you feel afterwards. After sleeping with Jimin as long as you have been, you’ve been able to expertly suppress any negative feelings about what you’re doing. This week has been incredibly trying on you, but you can’t pinpoint why (or, rather, you refuse to acknowledge why).

Is it because this time away was supposed to be about spending time together and having fun with your family, but you’ve only been focusing on getting off? Or is it because you know that after you make Jimin cum, he’s going to sleep next to another woman who may also do the same for him on the same day? 

It’s likely to be both of these things, coupled with how long this secret has been festering, but you can’t stop. It’s selfish and it makes you sound as though you have a sex addiction, but your body responds to Jimin in a way that you can’t replicate with anyone else and you crave it, so in a way, you are addicted to him. 

You crave it so badly that in between scuba diving and shopping you’re holing up somewhere secret for a quick fuck. You can barely keep track of the lies you’ve told Sunyoung or your parents this week, but you know it’s more than you think you’ve ever lied to the same people in such a short amount of time.

Even with all of the acknowledgment that what you’re doing is wrong and with all the people impacted around you in mind, you still text Jimin on the second to last night of your stay at the resort and tell him to meet you at the jacuzzi outside around midnight. 

During the day, both families have a beach day and with everyone staying in the sun most of the day, playing volleyball and frisbee, everyone is more than ready for bed after dinner. Your dad reminds everyone that tomorrow is your last day and therefore will be a family day. Knowing that this may be your last opportunity with Jimin since tomorrow night, you’ll likely be too focused on family and packing to leave the next morning.

You and Sunyoung watch a movie before bed and once it’s over and she’s sound asleep, you creep out of the room, already having put on your bathing suit underneath, and tip-toe into the hallway and to the elevator.

Jimin is already sitting on the edge of the hot tub, shirt off and feet in the bubbling water.

“I didn’t think you’d beat me here,” you chuckle, your voice making him jump.

“Oh! Yeah, Momo went to bed early because she thinks she has food poisoning.” 

“And instead of caring for her you’re here with another woman.” You shake this thought away, pulling off your pajamas and watching the way Jimin’s face lights up at the sight of your light blue bikini that leaves so little to the imagination. 

You toss your clothes on the pool chair with his things and don’t miss how he watches intently as you step into the hot tub and lower yourself into the water. When you beckon him in with a crook of your finger, he hurries in next to you, his chest pressed against your arm. The two of you sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, watching as the few other couples out for a night swim a few feet away from you go back inside, leaving just you and Jimin outside. The sky is dark, but the stars are shining bright enough that it’s not pitch-black. The outdoor area is equipped with fancy-looking string lights around and the smell of the ocean lingers with how close the resort is.

The whole thing would be romantic if your relationship with Jimin wasn’t what it is.

“Tomorrow’s the last day of vacation.” Jimin mumbles. When you glance at him, his head is reclining against the built-in headrest. 

“Yeah, it is. And it’s family day. I think our parents want us to go on a tour or something.”

“We’ll barely be able to spend time together, and tomorrow you’re going to get on a plane and go back to New York.” His words are low and sullen. Each time you’ve been hooking up when you’re together in person, he always gets in a gloomy mood towards the end. He’s happy to be with you but never looks forward to when you leave.

He’s pouting up at the sky, likely too much in his head. To distract him (and yourself to be honest) you shift to turn and place small kisses on his neck. The water lets you easily slot yourself between his legs as you move up to kiss him.

Jimin wraps his arms around your waist pulling you closer, his tongue immediately poking out to rub against your lips. You open your mouth, letting Jimin in, both of you messily making out, your hands grasping at any wet body part you can touch.

The sounds of the night dissolve around you as you melt into Jimin, savoring every clash of teeth and tongue since you may not get much of a chance tomorrow. 

When you finally pull away, you press your forehead against his, both of you catching your breath.

“I need you, Y/n,” He juts his hips forward, to emphasize his words, the hardness in his pants knocking into your leg. “Since this could be our last chance for a while.”

Your eyes quickly take in your surroundings. The two of you are still the only ones outside that you can see. Most of the windows overlooking the pool are dark and/or have their curtains pulled tight. Any open curtains are on much higher floors, way too high for anyone to look outside and see what’s going on. 

“Fine, but we have to be quick. We don’t want anyone coming outside and seeing us.”

Nodding Jimin agrees, his hands immediately reaching out to grab your waist. He slips a hand easily into your bathing suit bottom, his warm fingers flicking your clit.

“Ah-” Jimin’s lips land on yours, muffling the yell you nearly let out. He keeps kissing you as he picks up the pace, pinching at your bud a few more times before slipping a finger inside of you with ease.

“Gotta stretch you out for me, princess.” Your eyebrows shoot up at the pet name, but you don’t object. Jimin sounds nervous saying it, but your reaction gives him the confidence he needs, his finger moving faster. He brings his thumb up to rub your clit, making you bury your face in his neck to stifle another moan.

Not knowing where to put your hands you decide to pull his swim trunks down enough for his cock to pop out and wrap a hand around him to start stroking him.

“Fuck…” he hisses the word, his fingers slowing down for a second before he recovers to begin again.

The two of you kiss again, spending who knows how long exactly whining into each other’s mouth, working one another up.

You jerk him off rougher, his body shaking against you and he has to grab your wrist to stop.

“I want to cum in you, not in your hand,” Jimin says matter of faculty. “Hang on.” He turns, twisting and stretching his body enough to grab the leg of the chair holding with your things and pull it closer. He digs around in his pant pocket for a second before coming back with a condom.

You let out a snicker, watching him tear it open and roll it on. 

“Did you plan to fuck me in the hot tub this whole time?”

Sheepishly he shakes his head. “No, I promise I didn’t! I was just hoping that we would find somewhere to use it. I wasn’t going to be picky where.” He gives you a tiny smile, hoping you still want to go.

“That’s fine…I was going to find somewhere to have you take me too,” you admit.

That’s all the reassurance Jimin needs. His lips are on your neck as he pumps himself underwater. 

“Pull your bottoms to the side for me,” he whispers, the huskiness in his voice immediately making you quiver and do as he says. 

Jimin’s cockhead grazes your thigh, then your clit, before it breaches your entrance, Jimin bottoming out immediately. Neither of you moves for a moment, letting your walls adjust to him. 

Shakily, you tell him to move, and he does, starting slow, the water around you barely rippling. For a better angle, you hop a little with enough force to wrap your legs around his waist. Jimin turns, still inside you, so that your back is against the jacuzzi wall. He uses this new position to move faster, trapping you between his body and the wall.

Soon enough, Jimin stops being gentle, driving his cock into you deeper with each thrust and taking your breath away each time. 

“O-oh, fuck, Jimin!” It’s a louder cry than you intend, both of you peeking around, but he doesn’t falter. Once again, he swallows any more of your sounds with his mouth.

“You can cum if you’re quiet, princess.” The mere authoritative tone has your eyes rolling back as you nod your head. You’re so used to being the one that demands, more or less, that you never thought about Jimin taking on that role. You’ll desperately need to let Jimin take the lead more often.

One of Jimin’s hands is still holding under your ass while the other wedges between your bodies to rub your clit again, and you’re already embarrassingly close to cumming.

Whining into his mouth makes both his hand and finger move quicker, pushing you to the end. Mumbling his name, the tight coil in the pit of your stomach snaps, as you cling for dear life to Jimin. Your nails accidentally dig into his shoulder as you do and he hisses in response.

“Y/n..” This time his words are back to a whimper. “So tight around my cock!” Jimin’s fingers dig into your ass and your thigh as he throws his head back body shaking with his own orgasm as he bites down on his bottom lip.

“Yes, come on, Minie, fill me up.” You pepper his neck with kisses as you rock your hips softly, letting him ride out his pleasure.

A few more choked moans slip past his plump lips as he comes down, carefully slipping his softening cock out of you. You kiss once more, the jacuzzi now starting to feel too warm.

“Y/n, I miss you already.”

Smiling, you reach up to brush back his sweaty bangs.

“I’m gonna miss you too you know. This week flew by too fa -”

“Hey! No!” A rush of voices from behind both of you has you leaping apart. Jimin fumbles to tuck himself back into his swim shorts and you have to quickly pull your bikini bottoms back into place. 

Two men and a woman dressed in the resort’s employee attire are yelling at you and Jimin as they approach. The woman points to a sign behind you that you hadn��t even noticed. There is a list of things it clearly says you aren’t allowed to do which include not bringing glass drinks to the hot tub, not being naked, and no “inappropriate activities.” Above the sign is a security camera and upon seeing it, embarrassment takes over from head to toe. The fear of them witnessing you and Jimin having sex in the hot tub makes you want to vomit.

“We’re sorry! So sorry!” You and Jimin talk over yourselves, apologizing over and over again.

“Out!” The woman says, beckoning you both to get out of the hot tub and you do without question. 

She explains that since you and Jimin broke such an unsanitary rule, the resort will be charging you a clean-up and disinfectant fee. The account that the room is under will be charged. You nearly burst into tears, begging her to pay it upfront since you already know your dad is going to question the additional fee on the receipt. The employee says no, it has to be the card on file. She warns you not to let it happen again or you’ll be banned from the resort - not that you think you’ll even ever return after this.

You attempt to plead to her once more when the sound of the fire alarm going off stops all conversation. She tells you that she will get your name the reservation is under and the room number later, but for now go outside to the front of the resort. You and Jimin hurry into the hotel behind the staff, walking with the crowd of other guests who are going out the front door. 

“Y/n!” Sunyoung’s voice cuts through the crowd and fear overcomes you. Pretending you didn’t hear her you weave through everyone, hoping you can hide out in a spot outside where she can’t see you.

Once outside, you and Jimin manage to blend into the crowd, ignoring the looks from everyone at you and Jimin being the only ones in pool attire, seeing how you both forgot your pajamas by the hot tub. You stay behind a palm tree, as all of the guests mill about, waiting for the okay to go back in.

It takes about twenty minutes before they find the alarm to be false and allow everyone to begin going back inside. 

“Okay,” you whisper to Jimin, keeping your eyes open for any of your family. “If anyone asks, we can just say that we both happened to go out for a late-night swim at the same time. I’ll say I wanted to get into the jacuzzi before we left.”

“And I’ll just say I couldn’t sleep.” You nod at Jimin, both of you confident that this will pass. 

“Y/n!” Sunyoung calls you again, having found you both in the crowd. She grabs your arm, stopping you, and you see Momo and both sets of parents behind her. “I called you when everyone was going outside, but I don’t think you heard me.” She eyes your bathing suit and Jimin’s swim shorts. 

“Where were you, Jimin?” Momo asks when she approaches, also inspecting what you both are wearing.

“Oh, I uh, I couldn’t sleep, so I went out to the pool.”

“Yeah,” you cut in. “I went down to get in the jacuzzi before we leave tomorrow and saw Jimin was down there too. Then the fire alarms went off, and a staff member rushed us out before we could grab our clothes.”

Everyone seems to buy this excuse, although Sunyoung is squinting in a manner that tells you she’s replaying the story over in her head, and she may be the only one with obvious reservations. 

“Well, let’s go and get your clothes, then try and get back to sleep.” You nod, all set to do as your mom says, and leave this behind. When you file back into the resort with the last few guests, you’re feeling better, completely forgetting that the staff is still intending to finish what was started.

“Hey, excuse me,” An employee you don’t recognize stops you all, and you instantly feel like you’re going to throw up again. “You’re the two that were in the hot tub.” She says it rather than asks. She hands you and Jimin your clothes, frowning as she does so. “What is the name your reservation is under?” She powers up her iPad, waiting to type in what you tell her.

“I’m sorry what’s going on?” Your dad steps in, which you’re thankful for because you’ve forgotten how to formulate sentences. 

“Seeing as they broke one of our jacuzzi rules, we need the name of their reservation because they will be charged a fee.”

“Wait, what? They’re in trouble for getting in the hot tub? What, is it closed after midnight or something?”

The staff member assesses the situation, eyeing both your dad then you, and Jimin. Your eyes dart to him and he’s gone paler than you’ve ever seen him. He’s frozen in place and you swear he doesn’t blink.

“These guests-”

“Y/l/n! Room 519!” You blurt, your voice cracking as you say it. The staff member taps away on her screen. “I’ll pay you back, dad.” You promise, hoping that he’ll leave it at that.

“Now, hold on, I could swear the pool area is open twenty-four hours. What the hell am I getting charged for?”

“Yeah, who’d they hurt by swimming at night?” Your Mr. Park chimes in. Every word that’s spoken around you sounds like white noise creeping in slowly. This isn’t going to end the way you want it to. This isn’t going to be the end of it. You’re not going to go back upstairs and go to sleep then go through tomorrow as normal. It’s as clear as day that this is where things go to shit.

“Please, calm down. Our pool and jacuzzis are indeed twenty-four hours, but we have a no inappropriate activity rule in our public spaces and these guests broke that rule. It was addressed and they were told not to let it happen again, but we still have to charge an additional sanitation fee.”

“What? Inappropriate activity? What does that even mean?” Tears well up in your eyes as Mrs. Park looks between you and Jimin.

“Y/n,” Your mom says at the same time, gingerly placing her hand on your shoulder. When you turn to look at her she’s frowning in a way that tells you she knows exactly what that means.

“Mom,” Jimin whispers, urging the conversation to end. The staff member spares you and your families one final look before turning and walking off, leaving eight of you standing in the middle of the lobby in silence, save for your sniffles.

With your stomach twisted in knots, you run to the stairs, deciding that crawling up seven flights of stairs is better than standing with everyone doing nothing. You’re huffing and puffing when you reached your floor and take time to catch your breath, pulling your pajamas on, extremely relieved that the room keycard and your phone are still in your short pockets.

It’s quiet as you walk past rooms to your own. You stop in front of Jimin’s door and press your ear to the wood. You can’t hear exactly what they’re saying, but you can hear raised volumes and fast-talking. In front of your door, it’s quiet, but you’re sure Sunyoung is on the other side, most likely seething.

Stepping inside the room, you see her going around the room tossing her things into her suitcase. When she sees you, she freezes, holding your gaze for a few seconds before wordlessly going back to what she’s doing. If you know Sunyoung, which you do, you know she’s formulating how to tell you off. Cautiously, you go to sit on your bed and see that she’s packing your suitcase.

“What are you doing?” You question softly, to not stir her up.

“Packing your shit. You’ll be staying in the room Jimin and Momo are in, and Momo is coming here. We figure since you and Jimin want so badly to be together, then you may as well share a room.”

“Sunyoung, let me explain.” Tossing your complimentary robe and slippers in the suitcase, she stops and crosses her arms. 

“Please do, since apparently, you’ve never explained any of this to me before.” She’s simmering, but you continue.

“I didn’t tell you about us because I thought you’d be mad. Knowing your best friend has been sleeping with your little brother is weird, and I figured it’d upset you.”

“You’re right, it would, and it is weird, but you know what, that was the second reason I was pissed when I just found out. I was even madder to know that you’d been lying to me the whole trip! All these excuses about being tired and shit were just so you can get into my brother’s pants! Admit it!”

“Yes. I lied all those times, and I’ve been lying to you about us.” Saying the words out loud has you tearing up again.

“How could you not tell me?! Yes, I would’ve gagged and made fun of you guys for eternity, but Y/n, come on! You’re my closest and best fucking friend! If there’s anyone I’d want my brother with, it’d be someone I trust with my life because I know that she’d never hurt him. I would’ve gotten over it, but I’m pissed right now!” She stomps her foot, also looking close to tears, but you know hers are full of anger. 

“Did you even come on this vacation to see me?” Her lip quivers and you jump up to hug her, but she puts her hand out to stop you. 

“Sun, I’m sorry, I was just scared, okay? I was scared of being judged and your parents hating me.”

“You know, Y/n. You always do this thing where you assume how other people will feel without talking to them. Like that time in middle school where you were changing algebra classes because the teacher hated you but you kept it from me because you thought I’d be mad even though I knew how much she sucked.” 

“That’s one time and I was trying to be considerate.” 

“And then remember when Joshua asked you out in 11th grade and you didn’t say anything about it until I overheard him telling his friends you rejected him.”

“I knew you liked him! I didn’t want to upset you and make you mad at me!” 

“See! You always just assume the worst of how I feel and you keep shit from me. Not only is this the longest-running thing you’ve hidden, but it’s about my damn brother!” 

In all honesty, you never realized you had a bad habit of doing this until this moment. It’s always good-natured, but having Sunyoung chronicle your behavior has you rethinking.

“Sun, listen, I’m sorry, okay? I truly didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Well, you did. And you also hurt Momo - both you and Jimin did. She’s a really sweet girl and she treats Jimin well. I’m pissed at both of you.” 

You want to say something else, but a knock on the door has you halting. Sunyoung goes to open it and you see Momo on the other side holding her bags. Her red eyes don’t meet yours as she gives Sunyoung the key in her hand and disappears into the bathroom. 

“Give me your keycard.” Sunyoung demands and you don’t argue. She takes the card for this room and gives you, what you presume, the card for Jimin’s room. Wordlessly, she walks over and zips your suitcase up, placing it on the floor and sliding it over to you. 

“Maybe we’ll talk tomorrow,” you try on your way to the door.

She just shrugs and climbs into her bed, eyes blankly looking at the tv as she turns it on. Clearly, the conversation is very much over right now. You give the room a once over and leave, defeated and tired. 

The keycard she traded you, is, in fact, the key to Jimin’s room. When you walk in he’s already in bed, under the covers, and nothing but a lump. 

“Jimin?” You call quietly but get no response. Unsure if he’s truly sleeping or pretending, you say his name again and get nothing.

Rolling your eyes, you leave your suitcase to the side and decide to just go to bed. You’ll deal with Jimin in the morning, but for now, it’s much too late to still be awake.

Knocks on your room door startle you awake. Jimin isn’t next to you, and the bathroom across the room is dark. Bleary-eyed, you get up and open the door, your mom on the other side. She gives you what seems to be a sympathetic once over and tells you to get ready and that everyone is already up and getting ready.

Jimin waking up and leaving you behind stings, but you bury that as you carry on with a lightning-speed shower and get changed. 

Downstairs, your parents and Mr. and Mrs. Park greet you, but no one else. Neither Momo nor Sunyoung pay you any mind and Jimin doesn’t return your greeting. The two women you expected, but why the hell is Jimin icing you out?

He doesn’t say anything on the ride there, but it’s expected with everyone around. All of you pile onto a bus with other tourists, waiting to be driven around the city and shown the sights.

When you arrive at the first destination and you try to speak to Jimin, he conveniently turns to engage with his mom who quickly strikes up a conversation with him, successfully squashing your attempt.

It’s even clearer he’s purposely avoiding you by your third stop after he successfully manages to avoid any chance you will try to confront him. With both him and your best friend ignoring your existence, you feel like utter shit. You do your best not to let it show as the day wears on, mustering up enough willpower to pretend to be interested in the structures and sights, taking pictures you barely put care into snapping. A few other tourists in the group talk to you and even though you want nothing more than to stew alone, you engage.

The day drags on hour by hour until it’s the end of the day and your tour guide takes everyone to a restaurant near the resort for dinner. Your group of eight settles next to the other tables of the tour group and starts placing orders with waiters. Sunyoung knocks back drink after drink and at some point in the night the alcohol finally catches up with her.

“Mrs. Y/l/n, can you pass me the chips?” She points to the basket that’s sitting between you and your mom. “I’d ask Y/n, but she’ll probably lie about why she can’t give them to me.” Silence in the group until her comment catches up to you.

“Oh come on, Sunyoung.”

“Come on what? You lie. It’s what you do. Or wait you’ll lie about not giving them to me and say it’s because you thought I would think they are gross without even letting me try!” 

“Sunyoung, I said I was sorry! Sorry for lying and assuming how you’d feel. This time and apparently every other time I’ve done it.”

Sunyoung leaps up, pointing at you. “You didn’t apparently do shit, I’m telling you you’ve done it!”

“Sunyoung…” Her mom warns, but she stays standing, hands on her hips. 

“I shouldn’t have said that,” you start, trying to keep your voice down. “I’m sorry for lying and sleeping with your brother and not telling you!” 

“You should be! Jimin has always gone out of his way to talk about you and I should’ve known something was weird but I was too stupid to pick it up I guess. Why else would he always bring up my friend more than me.” You and Jimin share a brief look before he averts his eyes. You never imagined he’d talk about you when you weren’t around. You swallow the urge to ask what he’s said.

“And I can’t believe you’ve been sleeping with my best friend!” Sunyoung yells, pointing at him. “You’re my brother and you didn’t tell me!”

“How was I supposed to tell you?! You would’ve thought it was weird!”

“Everyone stop fucking telling me how I’d feel!” Sunyoung shrieks and everyone in the restaurant turns to look at your table, getting quiet. 

“Park Sunyoung, that is enough!” Her dad bellows. Fists still clenched, she plops into her seat with no retort. 

“Truly,” you begin. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to lie, and I know apologies don’t change what I did, but just know I can’t say sorry enough.” You turn to your parents and the Parks. “And I’m sorry to you guys for ruining our vacation. I did want to see everyone and have a good time, but then I messed it up by being selfish, I didn’t plan on fucking up everything the way I did. And Momo, I’m sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend. I didn’t -” 

You don’t get to finish your apology, because before anyone can stop her, Momo rises from her seat, grabs her drink, and throws it at you on the other side of the table. 

Everyone freezes, including any other guests that saw.

“Momo!” Jimin gasps, but for him, she snatches up the large bowl of salsa in the middle of the table and dumps it over his head. She’s storming out of the restaurant before anyone can stop her.

Sunyoung, watching both you and Jimin in horror, decides to stumble out of her seat and follow her out. The rest of you don’t say anything else, but your mom helps blot at your clothes while Jimin’s mom helps him wipe his hair.

Shame washes over you as the other tourists and restaurant patrons whisper about your group and what happened. You deserve this. Sure, you wanted nothing more than to run outside and kick Momo’s ass, and normally you would, but in this situation, you can't deny that you deserve it. So you stew in the nauseous, anxious feeling in your stomach and the way tears are oh so close to slipping. It feels very much like public shaming and you wouldn’t say you didn’t have it coming.

The ride back to the resort after dinner is nothing compared to the one this morning. The bus is stifling, the air thick with aggression and weariness. Momo is the first out when you arrive, stomping into the building and far from everyone. Wordlessly, Sunyoung follows her, then Jimin. You’re left to ride in the elevator with the parents alone, clothes uncomfortable and sticky. Just as you think you may burst into tears at the sheer embarrassment, Mr. Park speaks up.

“Y/n, we want to let you know we’re not as upset about this as Sunyoung.” You’re shocked truth be told, but let him go on. “Last night’s erm, incident, was shocking, but you and Jimin are both adults. Cheating is wrong in any aspect, and don’t get wrong, we’re extremely disappointed in you both for it.”

“And for lying to everyone,” Mrs. Park chimes in.

“Right, and lying to everyone. But we appreciate your apology. It seemed genuine, so just know we’re not upset with you.”

“Besides, if there’s any girl we’d want Jimin to be with it’s you. We don’t trust anyone else.”

They both give you reassuring smiles, and you let a few tears slip. You appreciate their forgiveness, but you feel as though you don’t deserve it. You voice this, but they assure you they’re not mad. Shocked and annoyed initially, yes, but they again voice that you’re all adults and can work through what you need to.

Your mom reaches out to hug you, wiping your tears. You say goodnight to both sets of parents, your dad saying he loves you then reminding everyone that all of your flights are at eleven. You all plan to ride to the airport together and say your goodbyes there. It doesn’t seem likely that the goodbyes will be what he has in mind, but it feels refreshing to know that at least you have people still supporting you in the mess you and Jimin made.

When you enter the room, Jimin is sitting on the edge of the sofa in the room, head in his hands. He looks up when you shut the door, the expression on his face unreadable. You plop on the couch next to him, and he doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t run away from you.

“Are you gonna tell me why you’ve been ignoring me all day?”

“Everyone hates us.” Is his response.

“Our parents don’t hate us.”

“Yeah, I know, I talked to them this morning when I got up. But they were disappointed. And Sunyoung is so fucking pissed. And I know Momo definitely hates me. She broke up with me last night.”

“Well yeah, you’re probably right about her.” You put a joking lift to your tone, hoping it’ll ease some of the tension, but it doesn’t. Instead, Jimin whips around to look at you; his expression is grim.

“I should’ve said no. I should’ve stayed in the room.” The way he says this makes your throat feel tight for some reason.

“Well shit, sorry I asked.” Your words are sarcastic, but your chest feels heavy.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have. Maybe we should’ve just had a regular vacation with our families and not did… what we did. I have a girlfriend, Y/n.” His last words are accusatory and you gape at him.

“Yeah, I know you have a girlfriend. You know you have a girlfriend and yet you still fucked me this entire week. Hell, you knew you had a girlfriend for the last six months and still hit me up begging for tit pics any chance you got.”

A blush breaks out across Jimin’s face in embarrassment and shame. “Because I can’t fucking stay away from you! I can’t stop seeing you and hearing your voice and touching you, and talking to you. I can’t say no to you, Y/n! I’ve never been able to!”

You stand, looking at him incredulously. “There’s no way you’re trying to blame me for this whole thing. There's absolutely no fucking way.”

“You know how I feel! You know how I feel, yet you never want to commit. Whenever I bring it up, you change the subject or end the conversation. That makes me feel like shit, Y/n!”

“Jimin, we had a good, casual thing going. I thought it worked for both of us.”

“It works for you, Y/n. I deal with it because I want to have you any way I can, and since you won’t let it be romantic, I’ll take it physically.”

You blink at him, mind moving a mile a minute. “Jimin, do you think now is the time to get into this? Shouldn’t we be worried about your sister forgiving us and talking to us again?”

With a huff, Jimin jumps up. “When Sunyoung wants to, she will. You know how stubborn she is and that there’s nothing we can do until she feels like giving us the time of day.” He steps closer to you, looking as if he’s contemplating reaching out to touch you. “Y/n, can you just tell me how you feel about me? Clearly, you’re into me in some way, but how do you actually feel?”

“I -” Words catch in your throat as you struggle to formulate a response.

You know you’re impossibly attracted to Jimin. That’s a given. He’s sweet and loves making you laugh. Before everything on this vacation went to shit, he always went out of his way to make everyone, but especially you, laugh at something he says or does. Jimin is kind and so gentle; possibly one of the most considerate people you’ve ever met. In that same breath, you can also call him bratty and a little spoiled, but even then it’s endearing and it still makes him who he is.

Jimin is artistic and passionate. He loves dancing and has always been gifted at it. He’s done dance covers online for years and is always entering competitions and predictably winning said competitions. He didn’t get into the school he applied to in New York, but he goes to school near home because he’s so determined to fulfill his dreams. You admire him for staying so dedicated and working to do what he loves.

The list of things you like about Jimin goes on but you can’t seem to say the words to him. Everything is just wrong right now and the idea of vocalizing and admitting to him (and yourself) that maybe you feel more about Jimin than you should.

“I don’t think we should do this right now, Jimin.” 

He stares at you hard, his eyes scanning yours, searching for anything else. “Forget it, Y/n. It’s clear we’ve just been wasting each other’s time.” He finally says. Dumbly, you stand there as Jimin grabs a pillow from the bed and storms out without another word. You scream in your head, scolding and shaming yourself for not saying something, but you can’t get anything to come out that will make a difference.

Without another word he’s gone, slamming the hotel door behind him. Silently, you shower and get ready for bed, making sure all of your belongings are packed. The room is hauntingly quiet and the bed is cold as you lie there alone, your brain full of so many different things you want to say and think and do, yet somehow, you doze off before you muster the motivation or courage to do anything else.

You’re up and out of bed before the sun has barely risen. While you were able to doze, that’s all you did. No deep restful sleep and barely any dreams. Just bathroom breaks and staring at the ceiling. Jimin never came back to the room, as the bed is still empty when you get up.

After brushing your teeth and washing your face you’re out the door. Standing in front of your parent’s room you go back and forth. You don’t want to wake them up but you’d feel even worse than you do if you left without saying goodbye.

Taking a breath, you knock, deciding having them be a little tired later is better than fleeing in complete and total cowardice. 

Your mom is the one who answers, yawning widely in her pajamas and slippers.

“Y/n?”

“Hey, mom, I’m sorry to wake you guys up.”

“What’s going on?” Bleary-eyed, she eyes your bags, frowning more.

“I’m gonna head out for the airport. I don’t need to stick around.”

“What? Y/n it’s…” she cranes her neck around to the closed room curtains seeing barely any semblance of the sun peeking around. “It’s so early.”

“I know, but I just want to go home. I’m exhausted.”

“You didn’t sleep well?”

“Mom…I just wanted to say bye.” She must hear the utter defeat in your words and pick up why you want to disappear because it only takes her a few seconds to relent. She calls into the dark room to wake your dad, who eventually drags himself out of bed to join at the door.

He puts up much less of, a fight, cutting you slack and simply bidding you goodbye. You exchange hugs and ‘I love yous’ and they easily let you walk away with a promise to text them when you arrive at the airport and when you make it home safely. 

You wince at the lump in your throat, willing yourself not to cry. You’ve held the bulk of it in for the entire trip and refuse to give up yet. 

The universe cuts you some slack when you get to the lobby to hand in your key. None of the staff members that caught you and Jimin are there, thankfully. Only a different team who all thank you for coming and wish you safe travels.

As you get into the shuttle van and settle, you take one last look at the resort. Realizing just how hyperfocused on Jimin you’ve been since day one, you had no time to appreciate the large, bustling building. The white marble and aqua blue curtains in all of the windows pair well together, looking both expensive and upscale. You wish you could’ve taken in more of the look of your room and the inside, but your mind only plays memories of everything that has taken place over the past week on a loop.

The ride to the airport and getting through it to your gate seems to go rather quickly; a stark difference from how it all seemed to drag when you had arrived at the beginning of the week. Once you’re settled in and waiting to board the sun is higher in the sky. A glance at your watch tells you it’s after 6 am and you imagine that your parents are still just getting up if they were able to get back to sleep.

Before boarding, you send them a text, along with a long heartfelt text to the Park parents, apologizing again. Both of their kids hate you at this point and it’s your fault so you want them to know how sorry you are again and how much you still care about them as if they are your own parents. They reiterate what they did in the elevator, leaving you with the reassurance you desperately need.

Your phone was devoid of a single call or text from Jimin or Sunyoung for the rest of the day. Silence from them turned into two days, then four, five, then three weeks, rolling into a month. The desire to reach out to them is strong, but if there’s one thing the Park siblings are, is stubborn.  Having gotten into your fair share of disagreements with your best friend, you know that she’s the type of person that comes to you when she’s ready. Unsurprisingly, Jimin was the same way. You’ve heard plenty of complaints about fights with his friend over the years so you know he definitely picked up his temper from his older sister.

Even so, a month of silence felt like a year. You and Sunyoung would, at times, go weeks without talking because life gets in the way, but on top of this being your most serious fight, it was also the longest you’ve gone without speaking in some form. Added on the reason why you’re not talking and this silent treatment truly hurts. 

But still, you do your best to accept that they both need time. And frankly, you do as well. Time to decide completely, what it is you want from Park Jimin.

Truly, you try your best to wait them out, but you don’t make it another two weeks before you break down and whip open your phone contacts.

You’re home after a long day of work and even as you try to relax on your couch, all you think about is Sunyoung and Jimin. A month and a half is the longest you’ve gone without talking to either of them. With Sunyoung though, it hurt more. The fear that you may lose your closest and most important friend, keeps eating away at you and you can’t take it anymore. 

Along with the near-crippling guilt of hurting your best friend, is the pain of hurting Jimin. Taking the time since you’ve been home to yourself has given you time to sort your shit out. Sticking to nothing but work and errands, you kept to yourself this whole time to avoid the opinions and thoughts of others.

The solitude has helped you conclude what you’ve probably always known: you like Jimin. You like Park Jimin as more than a steady, casual hook-up. You want to date Jimin and call him your boyfriend and learn everything there is to know about him that you don’t already know. 

You have to tell both he and Sunyoung that you want to fix things, and it can’t wait anymore. 

Opening your texts with Sunyoung, your fingers hover over the text box. A wall of text seems impersonal. Briefly considering voice memos, you decided against that too, knowing you have too much to say to keep it brief. A social media DM is just silly and out of the question, and you’re terrified of hitting the call button and getting a swift rejection.

With a deep breath, you open your camera app, flip it to selfie mode, and decide this is the right way. A video is the easiest way for them to hear you and see you while also giving them a chance to pause your words when they need to and time to formulate their responses.

Hitting the record button, you work to get your thoughts in order.

“Hey, Sun. I miss you. I know it’s hollow, but I do. I fucked up. I said I was sorry already, but please know that I will say it as much as you want me to. I’ll do anything to make you not hate me anymore. You’re the closest to a sister I’ve ever had and I don’t want to lose you. I promise I’ll do whatever you want me to do to prove how sorry I am. And I won’t keep anything from you anymore and claim to know what you’ll think or say about decisions I make that impact you. Please know I love you and won’t keep secrets anymore. That’s why I want to tell you first that I…” you falter, willing yourself to say it. 

“I like your brother. I like like your brother and I’m going to tell him. I wanted you to know first. You’re my platonic soulmate and I don’t wanna keep doing this shitty thing called life without you. You can take all the time you need, I’ll wait until you’re ready to deal with me again, but I do hope it’s soon.” You give the camera a weak smile before ending the video.

With a sniffle, you go back to your messages with Sunyoung, counting to three before you attach the video and send it. Once you see the small ‘delivered’ message under the video you flee from the screen. Sunyoung’s read receipts are on and you don’t think you can handle seeing her in real-time see the message.

More internal prep is done before you hit the record button again to start Jimin’s video. “Jimin, hey. Uh, I don’t know how to start this really, so I’m just gonna tell you that I’m sorry again. I’m sorry for stringing you along the way I have and I’m sorry for influencing you to cheat. I just couldn’t stand seeing you with someone else that isn’t…isn’t me.” You falter at the end but keep going. “I know that I keep derailing any talk of us being together for real and I’m sorry. I just really didn’t have a handle on how I felt about you. Or, at least I thought I didn’t. Maybe I was in denial because we started so secretive and I was truly so scared of what your sister would think so I kept pushing it away and in turn, trying to push all of my feelings for you away, but it didn’t work and I was just so shitty to you.”

Pausing to take a deep breath, you close your eyes, attempting to calm your beating heart. “So you asked me how I feel and the answer is that I like you. I like you a lot Jimin. I have so much fun when I’m with you and I mean that in so many ways. I’m so comfortable with you and I feel so safe and happy and I’m sorry I haven’t made you feel like that. You’re such an amazing and good person and you deserve the world and more. I don’t know if that’s me since I’ve fucked up so much already, but please know I’m ready and I’ll wait for however long you need me to. I know now that I want you as more than someone I sleep with. I want all parts of you, Jimin, and I just hope you can forgive me somehow.”

Once that video is sent, you close your messaging app and toss your phone aside to get ready for bed. It’ll surely take them time to watch the videos and decide when and how to respond. After leaving yourself open and vulnerable, you go about your evening, trying to chase away the itch to cling to your cell phone.

The self-control you’ve been trying to adhere to dissipates as after two days with no response, you’re scrambling to check your text messages. Jimin’s message was delivered, so you know he didn’t block you, but you can only hope he’s watched it. The grey ‘read’ under your video to Sunyoung taunts you. She’s at least opened the message but has said nothing about it so you’re still left wondering what’s next.

A glance at your watch tells you that you have another hour before you clock out. Believe it or not, spontaneity isn’t typically your thing, and yet you’re feeling a sense of urgency you’ve never felt. Both Jimin and Sunyoung decided not to respond and at this point, you’re in desperate need to know what they think and how they feel and the urge to see them in person is what fuels your next move.

A one-way ticket back home for a flight tomorrow is nearly $500 and that price makes you choke, but you seriously toy with the idea. Since it’s Friday you can fly out tomorrow morning and make it there by the afternoon. From what you remember, neither Jimin nor Sunyoung works on Saturday and even if they do, you can just wait for them at home. You just hope that you’re not turned away when you get there and that the trip won’t be for nothing.

After clocking out and shutting down your work laptop, you open up the app on which you were eyeing the tickets. You bite at a hangnail, the decision stressing you out with each passing moment. Even if they did turn you away and want nothing to do with you, you can at least see your parents again. Plus, if you bring your laptop, you can always work from home still. 

Pacing back and forth, you move to complete the booking, packing on your mind but the buzzer of your building sounds indicating a guest stops you from checking out. Pocketing your phone, you move to the callbox to answer, anticipating one of your friends on the other end, but it’s no one from the city.

“Er, hi Y/n. Can me and my sister come up?”

Jimin. Jimin’s voice is coming from the callbox downstairs. Outside of your building. 

“Jimin? You’re with Sunyoung?” You ask, hoping you haven’t fallen asleep and are dreaming.

“Yeah. We want to talk to you. Can you let us in?” Nodding, even though he can’t see you, you buzz them in and sprint to the front door to watch for them through the peephole. 

Sure enough, in a matter of minutes, Jimin’s gorgeous face comes into focus. Sunyoung is behind him, expression either tired or annoyed - you can’t quite tell.

The door is open before they can knock and then you’re all standing there, eyeing one another hesitantly. 

“Well, can we come in?” Sunyoung demands more than asks and you hurry to move aside and let them into your apartment. 

They’re both wheeling medium-sized suitcases behind them and Sunyoung leaves hers by the door as she walks around silently, taking in the studio around her while Jimin stands awkwardly in your living room.

The question as to why they’re in front of you right now nags at you, and it’s the first question you finally blurt out.

“We got your videos,” Jimin says first. “We talked to each other and then decided we needed to just fly out.”

“This whole thing is too dramatic and chaotic to do all over the phone so I didn’t wanna bother.”

Jimin rolls his eyes at his sister’s brashness. “Our parents helped us pay to get out here and we’re here for the week to fix things with you. We had time to think and talk to each other about the whole thing when she finally let me explain myself to her. I told her every way I could that we didn’t intend to hurt her.”

You nod furiously, agreeing with him. “Truly, we didn’t do it with ill intent and we didn’t not tell you because we thought it’d be fun to keep it a secret! It just kept going on and we’d sneak around more and then it just became the norm.”

“Yeah, Jimin told me all that. I was just mad because two of the most important people to me were hiding something from me and it felt so shitty. I love you both a lot, you know. Don’t keep any secrets from me ever again.”

“We won’t, I promise! I’m so sorry again, Sun. I probably sound like a broken record with how much I’m apologizing but I mean it.” You hold your breath, waiting to see her reaction. She moves first, crossing the room to catch you off guard in a hug. 

“I already accepted Jimin’s apology at home so I accept yours too. I also think I overreacted by being as pissed off as I was. I let my bad temper get the best of me and I’m sorry too.” She pulls away but keeps her arms around you, fixing you with a hard stare. “Also, shitty stubborn asshole or not, just know I’d never let this ruin two decades of friendship. If Jimin hadn’t broken me down and told me to get over myself I may have just ignored everyone for like another few weeks or so and then got over it. I realized I was starting to miss you too.” Her features soften at the end of her words, finally giving you a sunny smile and pulling you in for a hug again.

Relief fills you, knowing that your best friend still wants you in her life.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Sun.” 

“I don’t know what you’d do either,” she jokes, the two of you hug and share a laugh.

The sound of Jimin clearing his throat nearby breaks the moment. You’d momentarily forgotten he was standing by. Sunyoung’s eyes dart between the two of you. She moves away first, grabbing her large overnighter bag from the floor. 

“Anyway, I’m gonna shower and get the plane germs off me. The two of you can have your little make-up scene. Pretend I’m not even here.” You point her to the bathroom, and she ducks into it, but not before popping her head out once more. “But maybe don’t pretend that hard and start fucking or something. At least wait until I’m out of the building completely!” She slams the door shut behind her, and you hear the shower creak to life.

Hesitantly, you turn your attention to Jimin who’s looking out of your window to the city below.

“Nice view.” You speak first, sarcasm in your voice as you try to ease the tension.

“Huh?” Jimin blinks as if he’d been lost in thought.

“I said the view is nice, but I was just kidding, is all.” The view of the alleyway between you and the building next to you is less than stellar.

Jimin stares at you for a few seconds before looking out the window.

“Okay, Jimin, I-”

“You know I shouldn’t even be here.” He cuts you off and you let him, biting your lips together to let him kick this awkward conversation off.

“A lot of the time, I felt like you’ve just been using me for sex. You knew I’ve been into you since the first day I met you and you still refused to give me more than sexting and quickies. I should’ve stopped letting you have that part of me a while ago, but I couldn’t. I couldn't stop thinking about you or missing you, or wanting you. Anyway you’d have me and whatever I could get from you I'd take. It sounds toxic and I sound pathetic, but I can’t help it. I even selfishly dated a girl to pretend she could fill the void I only wanted you to be in.” Jimin looks at you again, and the conflicted, hurt look on his features is easy to read. The guilt twists in your gut, realizing just how much emotional turmoil you’ve put Jimin through.

“You’re right. I knew how you’ve felt about me all this time, but honestly, I don't think I took your feelings that seriously, especially not for most of the time knowing you. I guess I just always thought it was always just a childhood crush and nothing more and then when I realized you did feel much more than that for me, I didn’t even think about doing anything more than hooking up. I put my fear of judgment and my pleasure over your real, genuine feelings and I can’t say how sorry I am.”

“I want to be with you, but I need you to be sure you want this, that you want me for more than sex.”

“I do!”

“And I don’t wanna be a pity date or anything. I can’t be.” Jimin’s voice breaks at the same time as your heart. You want so badly to reach out to him, but you don’t. The ball is in Jimin’s court and he can call all of the next shots.

“You won’t be! I mean it Jimin, I want everything with you. I want the dates and the good morning texts and the cuddles that don’t lead to sex. I want to call you and talk about our days and the things that make us upset and I want to say you’re my boyfriend and create memories together. Memories we can cherish and look back on during all of our anniversaries. I want all of you, I truly do.”

Jimin is frozen in his spot, mind reeling at your words. It’s your first time finally admitting your feelings for him, so you can't fault how hesitant he seems. You’re both silent for the next few seconds only the shower running and the air conditioning unit in the window are heard. 

“Okay. I’ll let you in again. I’ll trust you.” He approaches you and the urge to meet him halfway takes over. Warmth envelopes every nerve in your body when your bodies meet.

“I’ll prove that you can trust me. Your heart is safe with me.” Jimin pulls you into a kiss, unlike any of the countless kisses you’ve shared. This one has your lips tingling, your heart racing, and your blood pumping in your ears. The kiss feels like forgiveness and comfort and an overwhelming sense of something close to love. 

You let Jimin’s arm trap you against his broad chest, his heart beating like crazy underneath your palms. This feels like your first real kiss and you vow to get so many more like this. You don’t deserve the endless kindness that Park Jimin has but you mean it; you’ll do everything in your power to prove to yourself and him that you’re serious about this relationship.

Jimin and Sunyoung decide to stay in the city for the rest of the week, the three of you making your studio work. Sunyoung makes a compromise, pushing her brother to buy her noise-canceling headphones so she can at least not have a chance of hearing anything the two of you do in your bed, which isn’t a lot, considering his sister is a few feet away. Still, it’s enough to make up for your lost time not communicating.

You take them around the city, the three of you doing your best to compensate for all the missed opportunities you didn’t get to spend on vacation as a trio. Spending just a week with two of your most important people makes you terribly homesick as you want more than anything to go back home to see them more, just like before you all got older and drifted away. 

Your heart both leaps and aches each time you swap a story with them or share a bout of laughter, the thought of not seeing either of them for who knows how long after this week is up weighing on you. More than anything, you realize that once Sunyoung and Jimin are back home, you’ll be left here on the other coast, all alone again with a mediocre job in a mediocre apartment without a real, trustworthy support system.

These thoughts swirl in your mind still on the last night of the week that they’re with you. They’re so prevalent, that you can’t hold it in anymore and blurt out what’s been on the tip of your tongue, in the middle of your anime marathon.

“I want to move back home.” Both siblings whip around to look at you. Sunyoung snatches the remote to pause the tv.

“What?”

“Well, spending time with both of you has reinforced just how lonely I am in the city. I moved out here for school and that fell through, then I scrambled to find roommates who were nice, but I hated living with them. Then I scraped together enough money to move in here, and, I’m just not happy. I don’t have anyone I’m super close with and if I’m not at home or in the office working then I’m getting food alone and shopping alone, with the occasional club or concert with some people I call acquaintances and that’s it. I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want everyone to know what a mistake I made but I did and I’ve regretted it for a while.”

Your voice cracks as you go on, but the weight of your confession quickly lifts from your shoulders. Keeping this truth has been such a burden, but it finally feels like now is the time to admit it and you’re so happy you did.

Both Jimin and Sunyoung listen to you and share a look over your shoulder.

“When’s your lease up here?” Jimin asks first.

“Uh, I don’t remember, maybe 6 months or something?”

“Well, that’s 6 months to figure out how we’re getting all your stuff to California.”

“And,” Sunyoung adds. “That’s 6 months to figure out where we’ll live!” You give her a questioning look and she laughs. “Of course, we’re moving in together, Y/n!” She leaves no room for arguments, not that you mind.

“I’m sure we can find a nice two-bedroom apartment somewhere.”

“No fair! What about me?!” Jimin whines, making you roll your eyes endearingly.

“You still live on campus and have another year doing so. Plus, I’d prefer to date more before we move in. But it’s not like you won't have a key.”

Your boyfriend pouts still but sighs in agreement. 

The three of you end up talking more about possible parts of California to live in before heading to bed, reveling in the feeling of Jimin’s arms around you for the last time for a few months.

“Okay, so I’ll canvas some spots and let you know. If I find anything good, we can video chat as I do a tour, or I’ll record places for you, cool?”

“And once you decide on a moving company, I’ll help pay to get them to bring your stuff. I don’t want you traveling across the country alone, okay?”

“Yes, yes, I’ll handle any logistics over here and will keep you both posted. And again, do not tell my parents yet! I’ll tell them closer to the move-out.”

Sunyoung reaches for you first, hugging the life out of you. “I’m so excited to have you home!” 

“Me too!” Once she eventually decides to give her brother a chance to say goodbye, she excuses herself, making up a reason to go check a flight board off to the side.

“I’m gonna miss you, you know. Even more than before, which I didn’t even know was possible.” Jimin’s words make you feel giddy. After doing nothing but hooking up for so long, this week has been so different. Sure, you still couldn’t keep your hands off one another, but it was more than that now. Your time together was soft and easygoing. You both had been so used to fast and hushed, but you easily fell into a sense of comfort and relaxation with Jimin as your boyfriend. Things made sense when you were with him and it felt like the very thing you’d been missing for so long. You can’t wait to spend as much time as possible with him.

“You better text me when you land. I need to know you made it there safe.”

“I can do that. And you better do the same. I need your Uber driver’s info and all of that.”

“Of course.”

The two of you stand hand in hand, taking in each other’s features for as long as you can.

“We gotta get through security now, Min.” Sunyoung interrupts and jerks her head in the direction they need to go.

Jimin gives his sister a nod before turning back to you. He lets go of your hands, moving to gently cup your face, and leans down to meet your lips. Electricity shoots through you at the sensation of Jimin’s soft lips. You inhale his cozy, fresh scent, wishing you could bottle it to keep forever (but since you can’t, the t-shirt he left on your bed will suffice).

“Can’t wait until you get home. I’ll miss you.” He whispers against your mouth.

“Miss you too.”

With another quick peck, he’s gone then, running after his sister who yells her goodbyes over her shoulder.

You watch until Jimin’s red hair disappears into the crowd and once you’re sure they’re both gone, you turn towards the escalator to leave the airport. As you’re waiting for your Uber, your phone buzzes as Jimin’s name pops up on the screen.

You scoff at the text. 

Jimin’s three simple hearts make your stomach flutter. You too can barely wait for the next six months to go by, but you’ll be counting the days until you can see your best friend again. And her brother, of course.

[caycanteven]

Lexverse - Current Skele Head Canons! (Sans Versions)

Since the skele-boy’s are comin’ along on their own, I decided to take some time to describe my head canons of them and their relationship to Lex–to satiate the curiosity as well as remind me of personalities when there are so many bone boys as it is ;3; I’ll also include some stuff they like to do as well.

Sans - Still a lazybones. He often doesn’t get out much and prefers to just stay home if he can help it. Lex and Sans share a common inability to remember things they have to do, so they help each other out. They sometimes go out and stargaze on the roof or watch a bunch of terrible movies on netflix. The two of them together often ends up with a lazy day every day, with occasional “fun” if they run out of movies.

Red (Fell!Sans) - Cocky and arrogant, but easily Lex’s best friend and lover. Not as lazy as his classic counterpart, but he would rather be in his room than around other people. He can’t keep his shoes tied for the life of him and likes how sweats feel over shorts (probably blames Lex for it). Easily pissed off and will argue with you just for shits and giggles. Red makes teasing remarks at Lex while she easily likes to push his buttons too (they will wrestle it out if necessary), but if she needed him, he’d be there in a soul-beat. Their favorite pastime is listening to music, preferably rock, and he owns a white electric guitar he calls “Ivy.”

Blue (Swap!Sans) - Lex and Blue act more like siblings, and she's quite protective over him. Though, while being his second biggest supporter, she is also the one who encourages his outlandish behaviors just to get under Stretch’s marrow. Blue is a great listener despite his slightly obnoxious tendencies. He likes working out and will do whatever he can to try and get Lex out of the house to do the same, but fails miserably more often than not.

Axe (Horror!Sans) - nobody gets her more flustered than the soft spoken, yet very deep toned skeleton,  Axe. He also suffers from short term memory, so two often write notes for each other to remind of important dates, events, or what’s for dinner. Axe is an excellent cook, though relatively humble about it for Paps and Butch’s sake. He focuses on baking in his free time, but when he’s not doing that, he’s enjoying Lex’s company in more ways than one. He is quite smart despite his short term memory, capable of speaking German fluently (mostly to tease Lex) and often reads plenty of fiction. He naps just as much as Sans, but enjoys cuddles more than anything. 

Dusty (Dusttale!Sans) - Dusty is pretty laid back and keeps to himself, but he’s protective in his own way for Lex. While she helps keep his LV attacks to a minimum, he keeps his eyes—or mostly his brother’s—on her any time she goes out by herself. Does Lex know? Meh, he doesn’t know or care really if she does. When he’s not doing work for Nightmare, he spends some of his past time throwing up Graffiti in random AUs; helps relieve stress.  He’s got a big brother vibe going on, and while he may be quiet around others, he always knows how to make conversation with Lex when he’s out for a smoke or it’s drink night. Lex often helps him sleep on rough nights by singing to him, and letting him stay in her room if it’s nightmare levels of rough. What else happens, well, he may not tell you.

Killer (Killer!Sans) - Probably the most dumbest, craziest, and perverted character Lex has ever come to meet—yet whatever this energy he’s got going for him, she’s all for it. Lex and Killer are two chaotic smartasses wrapped up in dynamite with its fuse lit. If Killer finds trouble, he’s dragging her with him. And if Lex gets in trouble? Killer ain’t there to participate (if it’s Nightmare that is.) Killer has made his shot with her before, but Lex often turns him away, not because she isn’t interested, but because he gets absolutely dramatic. It's always funny to see him whine about it. Definitely not because Nightmare would have his head…

Nightmare (Dreamtale) - Nightmare, the dark and brooding guardian of negativity, didn’t take to Lex when the two first met. Though, after an encounter with one of her trauma induced panic attacks, he realized everything she did was simply an act of hiding her own negative aspects. Nightmare, to say the least, pitied her and the two would often congregate in his study to talk about things that bothered her, where the negative energy wouldn’t be as harmful and would sustain him as well. Lex, while her positive expressions were undesirable, was never unwelcomed around him even so. Nightmare won't admit it up front, but he favors her dearly and has genuine care for her wellbeing…and the fact he admires her stubbornness. He’s a bit of a romantic, and if the two are ever alone, he takes his time “appreciating” her, but his jealousy is unmatched. He often will throw Killer into the nearest wall if he sees the two flirting. Sometimes, he does it just cause he finds it funny.

Big E (Error Sans) - First he stole her chocolate; then, an entire box of instant hot chocolate; the last straw was when her favorite pair of sandals went missing. Error, of course, being the culprit, took pride in the fact he got away with it too. Error and Lex didn't quite start off on the right foot when they first met either; Lex shook his hand without realizing he had Haphephobia, sending him into a glitching fit and leaving quite the impression following. Error holds a grudge like nobody’s business, and often steals some of her belongings to mess with her, sometimes even keeping them for himself. He managed to steal a pair of her black sweat pants one day, but they didn’t quite fit, so he had to stitch them up. He prefers to stay in the Anti-Void in his comfy bathrobe where he relaxes on his bean bag, watches Undernovela and enjoys knitting, crocheting, and whatever he can make with string, yarn, or fabric. He has a pair of glasses he stole from Lex, only to find out they weren’t even hers. He doesn't need them, but he likes how they look and makes him feel important. While he has no interest in being anywhere close to Lex, sometimes he tolerates her visits if she promises to watch at least five episodes of Undernovela, stay the FARTHEST away on the bean bag, AND bring him a chocolate milkshake. He doesn’t like her. Not even a little. Nope, not at all…

Ink (Ink Sans)- If there’s one thing Error and Lex have in common, it’s the fact they have little patience with Ink. While he means well, he often fails to read the room. Personal space isn’t a thing for this guy, but it’s easy to fall for his charms and enthusiasm. Lex often engages in conversation with the little bastard mostly to make it up to Error (if they happen to be in the same room). Lex actually enjoys discussing art with him, but she can’t last too long because Ink will forget everything within a few minutes and she’ll have to start over. It’s not his fault, of course, but she admits it can be tough. Though, she has seen his mischievous smile before, and she has gotten chills from it. Whatever he has cooking in his skull, she’d rather not be around to find out.

Lil Man (Edgy Bittybones) - Lil Man was a rebellious bitty who more so found Lex, instead of her finding him. While she didn't want to call him Little Red (Red would have her soul for it) she decided to call him Lil' Man, since he was so adorably small. However, he was also a little shit. Leave him unsupervised, and he would cause all kinds of trouble. Red wouldn't even watch him, it was too much work. So, Lex bought the little guy a tiny CD player and if he was good, he'd get a new CD when they went to the store. Much like Red, he enjoyed Rock music, but he also enjoyed musical numbers too. He's never not hungry, leaving Lex having to buy extra snacks for him so he didn't raid the fridge every week more than once. Even if he is a hand full, Lex loves him, and Lil Man always enjoys ranting about random shit with her...even if he doesn't know what it is they are ranting about.