#thank u once again... and i am sorry this is probably super out of context for u

[leecherish]

hgfjkhd not to be Like That but.....every ask from the jojo ask meme 😳😳😳

 girl,,,,,okay WHEW get ready for this cuz this one is gonna be a long one,, (thank you for enabling me to write this ramble for 2 hours straight, it felt rejuvenating)

(these answers are spoiler free! i kept my answers vague, so it’s safe to read, no matter where you are at! i will be discussing part 1-part 7 stuff though, so in case you entirely want to avoid everything possible about it, then maybe it is not spoiler free.)

☆ - Favorite stand design?

you literally cannot make me choose one of them, so in no particular order:

- Whitesnake, because I like how clean and crisp-looking it is with its limited color palette (and because sexy legs and gun)

- Purple Haze, because I love how this ’sickly’ stand has that word reflected in every aspect of its desgin, and how it serves as a character exploration for Fugo. The way it’s curled up in a ball, slouching, drooling, the stitched mouth (referring to both how Fugo ’restrains’ his anger, or how he feels rendered speechless by his trauma), the virus bulbs (representing the way Fugo ’bottles up’ his anger, only for it to explode and cause harm). I really like the spikes and the long, flowy cape added to its desgin in the anime, it just looks super cool. Its sound desgin is also delicious, I have rewatched the Illuso beatdown so many times at this point, only to hear it again and again- it’s so brutal and satisfying istg.

- Kiss, because I love the colors and the kiss stickers on its desgin! It looks royal and fun at the same time 

- Heaven’s Door, because he looks like the main character of Rohan’s manga and i find that somewhat charming and even heartwarming cuz like… his manga comes from right from his heart (or whatever he has instead of one), so it only makes sense that the manifestation of his soul would also be in the same style… idk its cute (but also pink dark boy confirmed as Rohan’s self-insert) 

- after I had to read up a little about Black Sabbath for a fic im writing (shh) I was in awe of how well-made that stand desgin actually is. it didn’t stood out to me when I first watched the anime (cuz i am a filthy zoomer who wasnt into boomer music before), but after I’ve read the lyrics of the song, I grew to appreciate it a lot more… like even it’s pointing manga pose is a reference to the lyrics, how cool that is!  

- Tusk act 1!!! its just. how can you not. i want a plushie, please

♡ - Favorite ship?  

[EDIT 07/22/2020: as of now, my opinions of fugio here are outdated bc back then i was mostly blinded by public opinion and i was afraid to express my own thoughts. anyway i still like fugio a lot but i personally dont find phf’s narrative of them very epic. they do really make sense even within canon for reasons i will not proceed to list. even though this is very dated, im keeping this section as it is for archiving purposes. thank you for understanding]

stan fugio. tho i admit it only makes sense if we assume that a reunion, like PHF, or something similar took place, because otherwise those two literally had no time with each other (other than both of them almost dying for the other in the man in the mirror arc). 

it’s just the fact that the final chapter of PHF doesnt make a lot of sense unless you look at it thru romantic lenses. „the soldier in love”?? „if you can’t step forward, i will step halfway to you”??? „if grief anchors your feet, then let me share it”?? „please accept my body, my heart and my soul. that is my hope, and that is my future”?? bitch!!! l*ve was invented that day 

but also because i think they could relate and understand the other very well - with both being from abusive/neglectful households and all. Giorno could help Fugo to understand his anger and help him find healthier outlets, allowing him to be more calm, while Fugo could teach Giorno to let his guard down and that he can express himself now, he doesn’t have to be afraid, because now he is being heard and cared for… g*d 

i also like trishelia because i simply find it adorable and the idea of Fugo & Shelia mlm/wlw solidarity keeps me alive… its so wholesome 

also one-sided Rohan lusting for Jotaro is funny as fuck 

i like to think about jotakak aswell sometimes if i feel like crying

◐ - Favorite minor villain?  

N’doul, because I like his desgin, the way he utilizes his stand is very creative, and his „The wicked needs a wicked savior” quote will never leave me be 

Cioccolata & Secco, because they are so over-the-top evil, disgusting and bizarre, you just cannot not love them 

Ringo Roadagain cuz his backstory made me cry and also the battle had such an effect on Gyro’s worldview for the second half of the steel ball run, he was just such a great character…

☠ - Least favorite character?  

i hate alessi with burning passion i am not even gonna write his name with capitals. the most uncomfortable episode of all of jjba is all thanks to him and his yikes ass stand. that cute girl didn’t deserve to be in that episode

⌧ - Favorite outfit?  

outfits, so like, not overall desgins? all of part 4 Jotaro’s outfits… Shinobu’s outfits were also super cute!! 

Blackmore… Mrs. Robinson because what the hell was that 

Dio’s feathery outfit from part 1… that slapped 

Bruno’s…. its so pretty… so stylish… love u capo please return my calls 

I also loved all of Rohan’s dumb outfits, but my fave one has to be the one with the suspenders, its so stupid. wh*re

⇧ - Character you’d most like to be friends with?  

Avdol! he could recommend me books or something…

The entirety of the part 4 cast…. they are all my good friends 

Foo Fighters… shes cute we could play baseball any time 

Gyro! I think it would be adventurous… (tho i’d rather have him to be my boyfrie-)

∇ - Favorite part? 

I feel like I’d need to rewatch/reread all 7 parts to be able to answer that in a way I’d be sure about it… every part has something special about it that later parts could not replicate

but anyway, I always mention part 4 when I’m asked about my fave part. i loved the artstyle, loved the desgins, i loved it’s slice-of-life structure, and how it plunges into darkness when the hunt for Kira begins to intensify… the characters were all quirky and loveable, and the ending was actually wholesome (for jojo standards).

part 5 has the biggest tag on my blog. it’s a part I rather grow fond of later, after watching a lot of discussion videos (and reading PHF). the main cast of the characters, and the overall message of the part is especially outstanding, pretty much saved my sad ass this summer 

finally, part 7’s mood, aesthetics and athmosphere is just everything, I loved the wild west feeling of it so much. the story was grand and going all directions with insane twists (the high voltage arc literally had me shouting „NO FUCKIGN WAY” outloud), it made me sad but also warm and fuzzy… like I dare say, despite everything, the ending was… wholesome? borderline? very-very sad but in a wholesome way… also Johnny was godawful relatable sometimes, his character development… *chef kiss*

♛ - Favorite fight?

again, no way to choose only one, so: 

Daniel J. D’arby vs. Jotaro cuz it was a nice change of pace from all the ’punch it untill it dies’ fights

Mista/Giorno vs. Ghiacchio because it was so over the top dramatic…. lov it,

Jotaro vs. Dio cuz again,,, the drama,,,,  

the entirety of the Heavy Weather arc because i love seeing otherwise calm characters go Apeshit 

Fugo/Abbacchio/Giorno vs. Illuso, mostly because it’s the only fight Fugo and Purple Haze has 

the Gyro/Johnny vs, Sugar Mountain fight, even though it wasn’t technically a fight in the traditional sense… it was a really fun arc and the end packed a punch.

Gyro vs. Ringo… again, because it had such an impact on Gyro, and also because Mandom is a cool ass stand.

I also liked the D4C debut chapters? it hurt my brain it’s so cool i love it 

im totally not keeping the chronological order here anymore but also Gyro/Johnny vs. Sandman. i loved Johnny’s development in that fight

and of course, the high voltage arc

╬ - Favorite stand ability?  

Echoes, because god bless, Koichi’s character development is easily one of the best ones in all of Jojo’s, and the evolution of Echoes did a great job to represent that. also, beetch 

Heavy Weather, because it was so chaotic and over the top, and quite literally represented Weather Report literally losing it and going feral

Enigma, because I think it’s super creative and I love the visuals that go along with it

Heaven’s Door because its so goddamn busted. Rohan could probably take over the world with it if he’d leave his house

Catch The Rainbow, it’s very situational yeah, but it’s like an alternative to Kraftwerk with healing potential. i just think it’s neat

Pearl Jam, because it’s a useful and a very wholesome stand!

♬ - Scene that made you the saddest?

the final chapter of Stone Ocean. that. 

also a certain death in part 5, and more like, the rest of the characters reacting to that death… especially the anime version, hearing that one mental breakdown still makes me tear up to this day :)  

also when funny valentine tried to bargain with johnny  

☿ - Character you don’t understand the fuss over?

I guess I’m jut not that into La Squadra yet? I mean, they barely had any screentime, and yeah, they all have cool battles and cool stands, but i have yet to realize what made them so popular amongst fans. not that I mind them, i like consuming la squadra content. I wouldn’t say I don’t understand the fuss over them, because they are all compelling characters, and I would have loved to see more of them aswell

۞ - Part you would beg Araki to change? 

you know, I for one I wouldn’t say any of the characters’ death was in vain - and if it was, that’s the point. one certain death in part 5 feels really unnecessary and only for shock factor but i personally think it served a purpose in that certain context… i said i was gonna be vague abt spoilers sdgsghd. but i think the ones who have seen or read part 5 know which one i’m talking about.

i still do get sad about Jotaro to this day, the way he never really got the chance to develop and get over egypt. in a way, that’s what makes him compelling, he’s an extremely tragic character, but it also makes me super sad. maybe I would like him to have a happier life…

that includes Jolyne too, she really deserved to have a good father figure and a happy life and oh god i can’t wait for stone ocean to be animated. i WILL cry.

i feel like if Araki’s original plans for Fugo were carried out, and he would have been killed by the gang, that would have left me wanting it to be removed. but thankfully, Araki himself felt the same way about this route, so we got one (1) moldy doctor instead of traitor Fugo. (even though the concept of traitor Fugo is really intriguing to me, part of me would have loved to see how that fight carries out, and to learn about what motivated Fugo to betray the gang… thinking about it makes me sad)

Ω - Figure or other merchandise (existing or not) you’d most like to have?

Jojoveller volumes. all of the microorganism plushies. also like, all of those super cool desginer t-shirts and jackets… make them more affordable for gajins from poor post-socialism countries im begging y

☂ - Character you’d most like to cosplay?

Fugo because his outfit is so stupid i want to have it on my body, Bruno because he is super elegant… but the problem with both of them is. i have boobs and their clothes aren’t exactly boob-friendly 

more realistically, i think i could pull off a Jolyne or a Lisa Lisa? Yukako? Maybe Guess too… or when it comes to guys, Rohan or Gyro? Rohan only because i want to own one of his weird ass outfits.

[juniorfics]

Favorite color

mina x GN!reader

written by: R

word count: 1.8k

Warning!: one-sided pining, the word dude used as slang, slight angst, and just a wee bit of internalized homophobia (but only for like, a paragraph) ((also, mina might be slightly out of character, so..sorry about that :p))

y/n was distraught.

No, distraught wasn't the right word...conflicted maybe? Well, whatever the correct word is, they were feeling it.

Allow me to give a bit of context; you see, y/n was crushing on someone. Quite aggressively, actually. they couldn't stop thinking about them. the way they smiled, the way their hair bounced slightly when they walked, the way they could brighten a room so easily with only their presence. Yes, y/n was crushing, but that wasn't the issue. they've had many crushes before. So many, some would see it as a bit of a problem. No, the crushing itself wasn't a huge deal, rather, it was who the crush was on. The gender of the person, to be more specific.

y/n was always more attracted to guys, never finding herself attracted to females in any sort of romantic way. But ever since their first year of high school had begun, it seemed to them that that might not be the case anymore. All because of a certain pink-haired individual. Well, pink hair is a bit of an understatement. Everything about her is pink! Her hair, her skin, her personality, everything! And it suited her too, the color pink. She was a very bright and optimistic person, looking to the bright side of things as often as she could, making others happy by just simply being herself. Not to mention she was very pretty to look at, but that’s more of an opinion that can vary from person to person.

It's pretty safe to say that y/n was more than a bit confused when these feelings first emerged. they can practically pinpoint the moment it happened- when all this crushing began. It was during the school festival, back when they were all still first years. To be more precise, it was when 1-A was performing their concert. The two of them hadn't been in the same class at the time, in fact, y/n wasn't even planning on going to the concert at all, but their friend had convinced them that it would be fun, and they eventually caved, agreeing to go only if he would buy them a strawberry-banana crepe afterward. They had managed to get good seats near the front and patiently waited for the show to start. Then, the lights went out, the curtains opened, and a bunch of people, including their friend, began shouting out the name of one of the girls on stage. ‘Fanboys..’ they thought, waiting for the show to start. Then, before they knew it, the music started, and a bunch of dancers came out. That's when they saw her- Ashido. they had remembered her from the sports festival, as well as seeing her in the hallway a few times. they thought nothing of it and continued enjoying the show. But then, something happened that would change y/n’s perception of the world forever- Ashido had winked.

Granted, Ashido hadn't winked directly at her, rather to that general area of the audience, but y/n saw it nonetheless, and suddenly, their heart had started beating faster, their face steadily increasing in temperature, their hands went clammy and their mouth went dry. Why were they feeling like this? they had never reacted to anything as subtle as a wink this aggressively before. Plus, they had never developed a crush for someone this quickly before, ever! Even their fastest crush had taken a day to develop. ‘Wait, crush? No, I can't have a crush on her! That-that's impossible!’ they thought, shaking their head. they had tuned out the rest of the concert at this point. ‘I don’t like her! No, I can't like her! I like guys! Dudes! Men! people who portray as masculine! I don't like girls! Never have, never will!’ they thought, the words sounding like screams to them. 'And besides! The wink probably wasn't even for me. There's no way she could even see me among all these other people! Yeah, it was probably just to the crowd.’ that's what they told themself, but there was a small voice in the back of their mind that stayed with them for the rest of the day, once the concert was over, while they were eating the crepe they were promised, while they were lying in their bed in the middle of the night; “what if it was for me? What if she did see me? What if she winked at me?’

Over the next few months, they had come to terms with their emotions, accepting the fact that they did, indeed, have a crush on Ashido. Well, less of a crush, more of an obsession. But hey, this was how they always handled these things. their feelings were still a bit confusing, but they couldn't just ignore them. they promised themselves a long time ago that they would always acknowledge their feelings, no matter who they were for. So this has become y/n’s current dilemma. They were already halfway through their second year and they hadn't even made an attempt at confessing. However, a few weeks ago, they decided that they would confess on the last day of April.

Which just so happened to be today.

y/n was extremely nervous. they were gonna confess her feelings, of course they were nervous! But they told themself they would, and that's what they were gonna do.

~

The final bell rang, and school was officially over. y/n practically jumped out of their seat, speed walking out of the classroom, and into the hallway. This was it! they were gonna confess her feelings! they had to find Ashido first, though. Luckily, they had memorized Ashido’s schedule, and what hallways she normally took, so this wouldn't really be a problem. Yes, a bit stalkerish, but it came in handy for moments like this. Finally, they got to the hallway they needed to be at and waited for a moment. Soon enough, a bunch of footsteps, along with idle chatter, got closer and closer, and closer, until-

“Aghhh, today’s training was super tough today! I'm so soreee…”

“Right? I can barely feel my legs, it's like I'm walking on jello,”

“It doesn't help that midterms are coming up as well, my brain is just as sore,”

y/n watched as the friend group passed by, not even noticing them. Just when they were far enough so it didn't seem creepy, they walked out, clearing their throat.

“U-um...Ashido?”

The group turned around, signs of confusion on their faces. The girl in question stepped towards them slightly, a small bounce in her step.

“Hmm?”

y/n’s face tinted pink. they hoped it wasn't too noticeable. “U-uh, hi. I-i know you don't know me, b-but do you think I could talk to you for a sec? I-it won't take long, promise!” they blurted out, hands behind their back.

Ashido smiled, thinking it was probably a shy fan or something. “Yea, of course! What's up?”

There was a small silence.

“...a-alone?” y/n muttered, their face getting slightly redder.

Ashido blinked. “Oh, alright!-” she turned to her friends, making a small shooing motion with her hand.- “you guys go on ahead! I'll catch up later,”

“Well, okay. Just don't take too long, or we're gonna get boba tea without you!” the blonde one joked, waving behind him as the other two followed after him. Ashido stuck her tongue out at them, before chuckling and turning back to face y/n.

“So, what were you saying?” she said, smiling at them.

y/n almost had a heart attack. ‘So cute..’ they thought, fidgeting with the hem of their shirt. “W-well, I just wanted to-”

“Wait...you’re the crush dude, right?” Ashido questioned, snapping her fingers as if she had an ‘aha!’ moment.

y/n blinked. “...c-crush dude?”

“Yea! I've heard about you from some of the general student kids!”

“O-oh...well I just wanted to tell you that-”

“Wait, WAIT! Don't tell me...you like one of my friends, right?”

“H-huh? No, that's not-”

“Lemme guess, it's Denki, isn't it? Wait, no, you don't really seem like you’d be into him...what about Hanta? He's pretty cool, and you guys would look good together! Ooh, did you want me to tell him to you? Cause I can do that if you want-”

“ASHIDO!” y/n yelled, getting frustrated. Ashido froze, looking at y/n. She admits that she does have a tendency to talk over people, but she definitely didn't expect someone like y/n to flat out yell at her. y/n took a deep breath, looking back at Ashido.

“Look, i-I'm sorry I yelled, it's just- I have something really important I wanna tell you.” they looked at the ground, their blush getting darker. Ashido wasn't saying anything, so they began speaking again.

“I-i don't like any of your friends...I like you, Ashido. A-and I'm not entirely sure if you swing that way or anything, to be honest, I didn't think I did either, but here I am!” they chuckled nervously, staring at their shoes. “A-anyway, what I'm trying to say is, y-you don't have to reciprocate, I-i just thought you should know.”

they looked up, finally ready to see Ashido's reaction, and- blank. Her face was completely blank. y/n could feel tears welling up in their eyes. Had they said something wrong? Who were they kidding, of course they had. they had confessed to a girl. Ashido probably thought they were super weird. To make matters worse, they’ve never even spoken to each other before this! y/n had completely screwed up. If there was any sort of chance that they could've been friends, let alone romantic partners, it was all gone now. they sniffed, wiping their eyes. they turned around, not wanting to hear any of the comments they expected.

“Hey, wait!”

they froze, turning back around. Ashido was a few steps closer now, a look of concern on her face. She looked like she had to say something, but couldn't find the words to do so. After a few seconds of silence, she spoke, clearly nervous.

“Well, first of all, thank you for telling me. I appreciate it. And, um…” her face began getting pinker. “I...I wouldn't mind going on a date. A-as long as you’re comfortable with it, of course.” she smiled, rubbing the back of her neck.

A date? y/n couldn't believe it. they were speechless. they didn't think they were weird, or a freak, or anything? “You...you don't think I'm weird? We’ve never even talked..”

“Well, that may be true, but that's what dates are for, right? To get to know someone better! Plus, it would be nice being seen in public with someone as cute as you!” she winked, a huge grin on her face.

‘C-cute?!?!? She thinks I'm cute!! Omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg-’ y/n’s face was practically as red as an apple, but so was Ashido's, so they felt a little bit better about it.

“Y-yeah, a date sounds wonderful,” they said, fidgeting with the hem of their shirt again. “I-i’m free on the 4th!”

“Alrighty then! Here, gimme your phone.”

They then traded numbers, and Ashido ran off to meet up with her friends again, promising to work out the details later. y/n smiled.

Yep, there was no denying it- pink was definitely their favorite color.

[nbrook29]

hiii, number 35 for the dialogue prompts. hope you'll have a wonderful day ✨

158 for Sobbe, I can swear that at some point in a AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES context Sander said this to Robbe, but I can't prove it sjjsjsjsjjsj

120 + 160 😋💜

1 for Sobbe! I've been listening to the song 'let's get married' by Mitski and it's soooo them, and maybe you get inspired by it too if you write this lol. Have a good day/night 💕💕

154, 28, 18, 9, 2 (just the ones u want❤)

30 for Sobbe 🧡🧡🧡 

Hi y’all! I managed to compile all of these prompts into one 8k fic, I hope it’s okay 🙈 It’s too long to edit on tumblr so I’m posting a link to ao3 and a snippet of it below 💛

Also, I super appreciate all the comments in the tags and stuff ❤️

The dialogue prompts involved:

158. [text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness

30. “Did you do this on purpose?!”

28. “Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”

2. “Do you want me to leave?

120. “Your hair is so soft…”

160. [text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!

1. marry me

35. “I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

LINK ---> hold all my cliches on the tip of my tongue

***

When Robbe enters the downstairs bathroom on a Saturday afternoon, it already looks like a mess, and they haven’t even started. The sink is full of various utensils and bottles thrown in there haphazardly and he looks around, his mouth quirking a little at how the place is currently the perfect representation of Sander’s chaotic energy. It’s probably for the best his mom is far, far away on another continent and doesn’t have to encounter this because she’s an orderly woman compared to her artist of a son, and it’s quite possible she would get a stroke seeing this.

And that’s even before they undoubtedly turn this place into a battlefield with their bleach shenanigans. 

“Ready?”

Sander passes him in the doorway, accidently brushing his shoulder and shooting him an expectant smile. He’s carrying a wooden stool in one hand and a large chocolate chip cookie he’s happily munching on in another. He must’ve changed out of his black hoodie because now he’s wearing his “creative hours” white t-shirt, stained with a palette of intense colors that barely washed out in the washing machine. The cut off sleeves reveal his arms, and the tanned skin is contrasting so nicely with the whiteness of the material that Robbe’s gaze lingers a little on his lean tricep, taut when he puts the sturdy looking stool down.

“I was born ready,” he replies with feigned confidence that makes Sander arch his left eyebrow.

“Oh really? What happened to you being hesitant about this?”

“I realized you’re gonna look hot either way, bleached blond or bald, so there is no wrong outcome here, really.” Robbe smiles innocently, but his eyes are anything but, mischievous glints dancing in those big brown irises and it’s a look on him that never fails to make Sander’s fingers itch with the desire to have his way with him.

They have work to do though so he resorts for a cheeky comeback for now, knowing it’s going to tint Robbe’s cheeks pink right away.

“Are you talking about your secret fetish again?”

And there it is, a pretty flush spreading on those cheekbones chiseled by god himself and it’s super cute, even when followed by Robbe’s indignant scoffing. Sander absolutely adores that even over a year later there are still things he says that can make him blush and he already mourns the future days when it no longer happens and Robbe gets immune to his cheesy jokes. But, at the rate they are going so far, it’s not going to happen anytime soon.

Thank god.

“I don’t have a baldness fetish, jerk!” Robbe gives his shoulder a half-hearted push, flustered. 

“Right, right, I forgot, I am your fetish.”

He’s expecting another shove but instead, Robbe’s features morph into a private little grin, his gaze dropping to Sander’s lips as he twists his fingers into his t-shirt, bringing him closer to seal their lips together for a few magical seconds before pulling back with a loud smack, laughing a little at Sander’s dazed but intrigued face.

Then he slaps his butt cheekily, effectively pulling him out of his reverie and leaves Sander wondering where that beautiful innocent and sweet boy he fell in love with almost a year and a half ago went. The beauty and sweetness is still there but the innocence flew out the window a long time ago and Sander feels pretty responsible for this glorious corruption, oh yes he does.

“Okay, let’s do this ‘cause otherwise we’re gonna be here till Monday.” Robbe points vaguely at the compiled accessories and then resorts to watching Sander mixing the developer and bleach together, occupying himself with reading the instructions on the bottle. He scrunches up his nose as the chemical smell irritates his nostrils and he’s honestly starting to feel sorry for Sander’s hair.

Once the mixture is ready and Sander is perched on the stool with an old towel around his neck, Robbe buries his fingers in his brown strands, loving the feeling of silkiness when he combes them back, making sure to scratch a little at the scalp.

It always makes Sander’s eyelids droopy, and the soft groans that leave his mouth when there’s a scratch at a particularly sensitive spot pull a giggle out of Robbe.

“I swear you were a cat in the previous life.”

“Probably, yeah,” Sander agrees in a soft voice that tells Robbe the skillful ministrations of his fingers are currently putting him on cloud nine.

“Oh my god, baby,” he moans, rolling his head slowly back and forth, and Robbe can see a shudder going through him. “If I’d known your hair bleaching assistance comes with a free head massage, I’d have recruited you sooner.”

His entire body visibly relaxes, Robbe’s magical fingers erasing every bit of stress that accumulated through the day with a practiced precision. “I swear, those fingers of yours were the god’s gift to humanity,” he pauses, his eyes searching for Robbe’s in the mirror as his lips stretch into a smirk. “Well, or at least a gift to me.”

Robbe indulges him because how could he not when Sander’s being so sweet and putty under his hands, so he doubles his efforts, receiving the cutest little purr at some point. 

“Your hair is so soft,” he marvels, combing through it with awe. “I kinda hate myself for what I’m about to do to it.”

“It’s okay, Robin, my hair forgives you.”

Robbe lets out a woeful sigh and reluctantly disentangles his fingers from the strands. “Okay, now after I said goodbye to brown, let’s get it over with, shall we?”

[flaine]

Hi love 💞

Today I am bringing u more girl group uht because they would 100% kill shut up and drive by rihanna! I think it's one of the first gg uht song ideas I had a while back and it slaps.... def more of a high energy dance performance (main dancer britt 🥰) and can u imagine the attitude... so much sass and flirtiness 😳 also I can imagine some like,, dream sequence shots of them lounging across a car? Like just stretched out on the roof n stuff? Similar attitude as in my poker face art but different more casual outfits nfnsjfjsjf maybe I will make time to draw this in the next 2 weeks before I leave but idk how to draw cars.... :')

Anyway some more vb au furtana for u (thank u once again for letting me ramble about them djsjfks)... furtana + pet names/nicknames?

Some quick context for finntana is that in hs after she came out to him and Kurt she was still really scared about being openly gay and Kurt joked about how finn could be her beard so finn was like "I mean... I guess we could fake date for a bit??" (In general that's where a lot of their more "couple-like" habits were formed lol idk why but I'm so soft for finntana being extremely close)

Anyway yes so

one time finn accidentally used the term babygirl and santana was so genuinely horrified that he started doing it just to annoy her and it eventually grew on them

Sometimes she calls him babyboy to retaliate and Kurt desperately pretends he does not know them at all

Finn also calls her 'tana a lot without really thinking about it bc that's what he called her when they were small (🥺)

Like in canon, finn calls Kurt stuff like lil bro/brother, probably also uses buddy a lot

Santana used to call Kurt princess (derogatory) in middle school but after they became friends and he told her he didn't like it, she switched to pretty boy (which she admittedly also used when she previously bullied him but like,,, once they were friends she genuinely meant it as more of a compliment bc a. Kurt is pretty and b. He experimented a lot with fashion in hs and she was trying to express her support)

Kurt definitely calls santana Satan (started as derogatory when they were in middle school but, like with pretty boy, became more of an affectionate nickname)

I can't remember anymore rn so that might be it? Maybe I've forgotten some... anyway this got long again (these asks get so long the second I mention vb au dnsjfksjf I'm so sorry) so I'll stop here

Have a wonderful day n take care of yourself 💞💖💘 (and feel free to ramble about your own aus/hcs!! I love hearing about them too!)

hi my love 💗!!

ohh… i can already tell this would be a performance that would make my lesbianism reach some extreme peaks…. i love the attitude that would come with this song!!! every time you give me a song like this for the uht i am so upset that we never got a girl group moment like this for them 💔 also i am in full support of lounging on the hood of a car. it is a dream of mine

and more furtana!!! <333 never apologize for sending your furtana hcs it is an absolute joy to open my inbox to see your rambling <3

but no i love platonic closeness/affection so much it is very important to me 🥺 and i love finntana/kurtana/furt too so these hit!!! i am obsessed w the first two bullets djdhdh i can very clearly imagine kurt’s face as he’s forced to be in the middle of that… also the “tana” one is so cute 🥺 i love them all!!!! 💖

thank u for giving me the floor… my brain is too fuzzy rn for a full ramble of my own but! i will give you a song! i think blaine and brittany would absolutely KILL video killed the radio star by the buggles…. i like an 80s vibe for both of them and also this is just one of those super fun numbers like shout that i can imagine them having a blast performing together!!! also i am convinced that brittany loves to whip out just dance when her friends are over and i think this is definitely blaine’s favorite dance/song. brittany has the high scores for every song but blaine is definitely a close second for this one!!!

take care of yourself too!! & have a very lovely night :) 💞💓

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i am very much enjoying my vague void! it's currently blasting hozier at full volume and that's almost louder than my internal screaming (don't worry, everything is fine, i just saw a spider)

i've never once in my life have followed a recipe correctly. all of my measurements are completely random and whatever happens happens. it is no longer in my hands. whatever eldritch entities exist take the wheel. and i absolutely refuse to spell anything in english without autocorrect because y'all have way too many double letters and random vowel placement

thank you! sadly, i won't have a break right now, because we just had christmas vacations, but the start of the new semester is always pretty chill. and you're absolutely right, i should take up necromancy! the snow and the cold will add to my mysterious vibes. i just need to get a big black cape with a hood to complete the aesthetic

i definitely picture everything above 5'6 feet as the same height. 5'7 and 6'2? the exact same thing. no difference here

how is morepork a real bird name. it's just... more pork? but the bird is magnificent. i completely approve of your first order as bird queen, not that you need approval from mere peasants like me, but it's a great order. ohhh salps look really cool, and it does look a lot like it! when you said boob implant i thought of mermaids and them using salps as boob implants but then i realised wait wouldn't jellyfish be better for that? because of their shape? ignoring their little leggies they're quite boob shaped, no? and then i realised that i was thinking about mermaids and alive boob implants... if i had to think it, you have to read it. i'm sorry

i was sold before but now i'm even more sure that i want to hire you. and I'll make sure to have lactose free cheese for the backflips (unless you want the lactose version? i'm not judging). will the biting of ankles cost extra?

that sounds like a brilliant set-up for a horror movie where they kill off all the children one by one. it's absolutely horrifying. if something like that would've happened to me i would've most likely just passed out. whatever happens afterwards is not my problem. and now i really don't want to know what the hell your leg was caught on because that seems like knowledge that would get me killed

ah so you're a fellow dirt eater? according to my mom my favourite thing to do outside when i was a little kid used to be eating sand. just shovelling handfuls of it into my mouth and crying when my mom made me spit it out. which i refuse to believe. if there are no photos it didn't happen

you warm climate people are starting to make me think that i'm better adjusted to the cold than i thought i am! it's either that or our buildings are better heated. i definitely don't know if anyone else calls hot water bottled hotties but i like it so from now on i'm using it

that's so cute! i was clearly a way more selfish child because when i found any amount of money i just kept it and bought candy as soon as i could. i clearly couldn't save money then and i can't now. we have stores like that (or i'm assuming that they're like that solely based on how they sell lollies) and they used to be my favourite thing because you could get so many lollies for such a small price!! and my mom even used to let me order for myself sometimes so i always felt like a very big girl jsjshsbsjk

also the fact that i can't send pictures on anon is a crime (yes i know why and it's good that that's not possible because can you imagine anons being able to send pictures? oh no is all i have to say about it) but anyways. because i have this one super cursed photo that reminded me of you and now i can't share it :((

duuuuude, sick void bro. sounds like a vibing void. I feel like I haven’t seen a spider in awhile. Other than daddy long legs. But they’re chill. They mind their own business. 

I nearly always follow recipes exactly. My mum is like oh cook this for about 7 minutes? Yeah sure. I’ll take a wild guess. I’m like they say exactly 7 minutes so I’ll set a timer for 7 minutes and start a stopwatch so if it does seem to need more than 7 I can keep an eye on the extra time and be aware of exactly how long it takes me for next time. Other people are like oh let's see I have [lists 5-10 things in their fridge], hmm...oh I know what I could make with that! I’m like I have beans in my freezer because one recipe required them and no other recipes I know how to make do so what am I supposed to do with these now,,, this is stressful,,, basically I barely know how to cook and recipes are the only things saving me in that area. That is entirely fair. Except for the fuck duck, and murder is not the word you want surely, situations, it’s pretty helpful.

Ohhh I see. At least the start is chill! For a little! Before your entire situation spirals out of hand and you’re behind in every class and it’s taken you a whole day to read 10 pages and you’re exhausted and it’s only week 2. Just me? ok. fair. anyway. I want a cloak so bad. One of my uni friends tempted me to class because she said she was wearing a cloak so my depressed ass honest to god dragged myself out of bed and to said class just to see it. It was worth it. They’re incredible. Everyone should own a big cloak for the aesthetic.

I’m glad it isn’t just me hahaha. I can visualise my own height in feet but everything else is just the same size that is a vague amount taller than me, mentally.

It’s also known as the ruru. But the name morepork amuses me. It’s named after the call it makes haha. It does sound like it’s asking for more pork if you know to listen for that. thank u for ur approval, it means a lot, turns out becoming bird queen didn’t ACTUALLY get rid of my anxiety disorder weirdly enough so validation is great! lmaooo. What if the jellyfish stung them tho? At least salps wouldn’t do you dirty like that. The mermaids would just look like there are hundreds of bugs crawling around in their boobs, flesh shifting as they float around. Which is a vibe. If you’re into that. Jellyfish WOULD make a more solid, single, implant, some of them are definitely boob shaped. But that’s kinda boring no one’s gonna be traumatised by that. Salps on the other hand...yeah, that sight will DEFINITELY traumatise someone.

To be PERFECTLY honest I haven’t done a backflip in years but for lactose-free cheese? Dude. I’ll be going back to training. Gonna be the best backflip you’ve ever seen. As long as it’s not Tasty cheese I am content, but lactose free IS better. The biting of ankles will not cost extra, it is a pleasure to be allowed to do that.

Oh it absolutely would be. It’d be very funny if it reached the wider world bc people would probably be like ok but who would send kids into the bush like that,, it’s an odd concept. meanwhile everyone who grew up in nz is gonna be like y’all, you’re not gonna fuckin BELIEVE what i experienced growing up, it’s real dude. On one hand, I feel like murdering kids in a movie is questionable, on the other hand, It exists, so maybe people would be down for it. I feel like it’d be a good concept even if it wasn’t murdery tho. Like psychological horror? I’m not sure if I’m using that category correctly I don’t watch much horror. A kid following the rope but then being shifted into a different horror dimension but they never take the blindfold off because their teachers said not to and they’d probably have to let go of the rope to do it...I feel like this could work super well as a short film. The viewers see everything. The child just knows something is off and no one is coming when they call for help. I am so down for this. I also do not want to know what my leg was caught on. Some things I am better off not knowing.

yes! I am a fellow dirt eater! We had a sandpit at home (that’s a little bold. It was a large plastic shell that my parents filled with sand. technically a sandpit. but not fancy sdflsdkfsdf) but I don’t think I ever tried to eat it. Then again, I possibly did and just don’t remember because there’s no photo evidence of that one. I’d have to ask my parents sdfhsjdfs, I would however fully believe them if they said yes. it’s very characteristic of me. I don’t doubt it for a second. muuuum that’s my emotional support sand don’t make me spit it out smh the disrespect these days.

Oh I’m absolutely terrible even by most people’s standards around here when it comes to cold and hot temperatures. I remember sitting in the sun in my school shirt and school jersey in summer on a blazing day like it’s a bit chilly, isn’t it? Meanwhile my friends were in the shade absolutely dying from the heat. Likewise in winter I’d be shivering, teeth chattering, dying with my long sleeve thermal, my school shirt, my school jersey, my school jacket, my longs, warm socks and sneakers and gloves and school scarf while ppl would be walking around in a shirt and shorts like it’s a bit warm this winter huh? my body didn’t learn how to thermoregulate and it shows. But yeah NZ does also have a reputation for shittily insulated buildings and such. It shows. skhdfsfs if it’s not common use maybe don’t say can i have a hotty to someone without context but otherwise go ahead lmao. it’s a fun shortened version.

I was typically a very good saver, to the point where my extended family started gifting me gift cards and vouchers for Christmas and my birthday because if they just gave me money I’d put it in my bank account to save towards uni once I hit like, 12 years old. Which I think was a smart move. But apparently, I’m supposed to buy myself ‘something nice’ with it. I think I’m still an okay saver but I’m not as strict anymore. I’m aware of how much I can spare and I’m not just like you can never get anything for yourself ever, so I do get lil things for myself sometimes. oooo yay! At least you know what I mean. But yes. They were the gold mine for lollies. Absolutely terrific stores. My mum would be like hey lindsey how about you order? And I’d be like mother, I am 7 years old and I have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder everyone assumes is child shyness why would you think I would want to do that. Instead I will whisper my choices to you. After therapy tho I felt pretty rad for picking my own lollies by myself. I was like 13 at that point but sdfkjhsdf listen I got there in the end.

sdfkjsdfkjhsdf I like that a cursed photo reminded you of me. That’s all I need to hear. Tumblr said no anon dick pics but they also said no anon cursed photos either,,, very sad. for the latter part. the first part thank god. If I could turn on photos on anon I absolutely would just to see this but I don’t think I can :(

[mistymark]

the one with the annotations.

dong sicheng x reader // 3.7k words // masterlist // send requests here

summary; in which sicheng keeps writing in the books at the library and it should be obvious but that’s,,, not,,, allowed???

warnings: none its just fluff, theres some humour if u like,, squint

requested; yes :D - “Enemies to lovers 👀 with sicheng? Love your writing btw 💕” from anon

notes; based on this prompt: ”You’ve got to stop returning books full of corrections and spiteful comments in red pen bc I can’t stop reading them and my boss gives me disapproving glares when I laugh at the funny ones

ohhhhh boi

so while you were at uni you had a part time job at the library

because surprise surprise as a lit major you like books

shocker there

you always tried to work the late shifts, closing up and doing the returns

just because it was easy and relaxing organising and restacking the books

but soon you wished you took the earlier shifts

because of dong sicheng

not to be dramatic but

your long rival

he started coming to the library to borrow books

because that’s kind of the point of a library

but he ended up liking the environment for studying

and would stay there for hours just to study

and you’d admire his hardworking nature

if he left on time, that is

you would do the rounds ten minutes before closing

just to tell everyone like

‘hey, we’ll be closing in around ten minutes if you want to begin packing up’

but this bitch

would nEVER PACK UP ON TIME

you’d end up standing at his table with your bag and the keys in your hand

tapping on the wood to try and get his attention

and him slowly packing up afterwards

even tho he kNOWS you want to go home

‘you’re just as slow as you were in kindergarten hey?’

and he’d be so furious

‘you know you cheated’

‘I don’t remember any such thing’

and maybe you did maybe you didn’t

you were like four years old

as if you’d remember a race you won when you were that age

he just rolls his eyes and leaves as you lock the doors

you leave in the other direction

happily leaving him behind

but he stops by every Monday Tuesday and Thursday night to study

which are the days you work as well

he acts like it’s just part of his schedule 

but he worked out if he came in on Wednesday’s he didn’t have the opportunity to annoy you

and honestly?

annoying you at the end of your shift and after a long session of studying was the highlight of his night

but he keeps borrowing books

and you’re like

whatever

until he borrows this new book you’ve been wanting to read for ages

and you were low-key so bitter

this lil bitch has no way of knowing you wanted that book but somehow he does and that’s the only reason he’s borrowed it

even though,, he literally had no idea lmao

tbh u probably would have wanted to talk to him about the books he reads bc u have very similar taste

okay the same taste

but he’s such an asshole ur like nah fam

anyways he returns it after a week

boy reads fast ok

and when he goes to drop it in the returns box

you just take it from his hand and scan it under your name straight away

and put it under the desk so no one else can borrow it

and when there’s a lull in the work at the library

you reach under the table for the book and rifle through it

and you notice a few pencil marks

and upon further inspection you realise they’re comments referencing certain parts of the book

and you do nOT stand for vandalism

but some of them are fuckin hilarious not gonna lie

on the page you just happened to open

you can see there’s a comment beside a passage of text depicting a fight scene

‘this would kill someone wtf’

and u laugh and wonder who had done this

like the book had only been out for a little while

and u finish it in just less than a week

bc u read a lot during your shifts

probably a lot more than you should tbh

and seriously the comments made the book better

you hadn’t laughed so hard at random commentary so much

like the words were exactly what you were thinking

you couldnt help it

while ur putting some of the books back in the middle of your shift

!!!! you see another book that u might like !!! 

not to judge a book by its cover butttttttt

it looks like ur type oop-

and after flipping through it

to get an idea of font size and chapter length cause ur a whole nerd like that

u see it ALSO has pencil markings

in the borders and underlining sentences

and without even thinking u borrow it

just to read the funny comments again

and ur boss comes up to you during your shift and is like

‘have you seen someone’s been writing in the books? look at this’

and thrusts a book in ur face

and ur like ??????? okay chill I’ll look

and u read the writing she’s pointing at

the familiar loopy handwriting adorning the page

and it says ‘I hope she throws her drink in his face’

when u read the paragraph for context

u realise it’s a confession scene

a few lines down the mystery person has written ‘called it.’

and u can’t help but laugh

like come on that was funny

but ur boss doesn’t agree

she just asks you to find out who’s doing it so they can be suspended from the library

or charged with vandalism

or something

she wants vengeance

u roll ur eyes and go to one of the staff computers

scrolling through the lists of borrowers for that specific book

and it’s a fuckin library that book has been borrowed a loT

2031 times ???????????????

you almost fall of your chair tbh

then someone clears their throat in front of u

and u immediately apologise as u try and get the right tab up to process the borrower’s book

but once u look at the person in front of u

you wish you hadn’t been so nice

sicheng stands in front of you

a grin on his face as he hands you another book

smug bitch is so happy he startled u

‘looking at porn on the library computer, yn?’

u laugh

‘I’m not u in 8th grade’

he glares at you as he takes his book and goes back to his desk to continue studying

u were soooo hoping he’d leave

even tho u kinda enjoyed looking at him

like dude was hot okay

what were u supposed to do????

ur actual job????

please.

so he stays

and when it’s ten minutes til closing

u go and let everyone know

and u stop at sichengs table

and he’s writing out notes or something

idk it’s not like u care anyway lol

but he’s lowkey frustrated bc he keeps messing up this one goddamn formula

so he erases it

and that’s when u catch a glimpse of his handwriting

and bruh am I high or is that the exact same handwriting as in the books

I mean he has borrowed a few of the books

and he’s into that genre

not that you've checked out his borrowed list or anything

basically ur having this whole conversation with yourself in your head

bc ur cool like that

and he’s like ????? why this bitch standing over my shoulder and watching me write out this equation

until he’s like ‘what are u doing’

and ur like !!!!! oh hi !!! sorry I was busy listening to the voices in my head lmao xD

jk jk

‘have u been writing in the books’

and suddenly he’s super shy

and he has this massive grin

and he’s like ‘no’

bitch we know it was u stfu

u roll ur eyes and ur like ‘its not funny my boss wants you to be suspended’

he squints at you

‘how do you even know it was me’

and then:

‘DO YOU HAVE E V I D E N C E’

and u cross your arms

like a badass bitch

and ur like ‘I have plenty of evidence actually’

‘for one, youve borrowed all the books that have been found with writing’

‘and your handwriting matches’

subconsciously he covers his notebook with his arm to hide his handwriting

and he's like ‘why are u telling me this’

you're taken aback by the question tbh

like ?????? to be a good person ??????

idk u fuckwit just wanted to warn you

‘thought you'd want to know’

and he just turns back to his book

and you shrug and walk away like ok get suspended then see if I care

but u do :((

but as you walk away hes like

‘wait’

‘Im gonna be suspended??’

and u nod like ye that's what I just said but ok

‘like I cant borrow or I cant come in at all?’

u don't know tbh

‘both I think?’

and suddenly there's panic in his eyes

another person walks past u and thanks u

and u mindlessly tell them to have a good night as they leave

everyone has left

except sicheng of course

that beautiful son of a-

wait why did u say beautiful

‘what can I do to nOT get suspended??’

and u shrug bc idk dude not my problem

but then u think about it

‘I mean if u get rid of the evidence theres no way u can be suspended, right?’

and he seems so happy at the thought

‘would you help me? please?’

and ur sooooooo skeptical

‘depends. what do u want to me to do?’

‘I mean I need access to the books so’

‘yeah ill let u in and out’

‘I can't exactly just erase the markings when people could be watching’

and that's exactly how you end up sitting in the library with dong sicheng at 11pm at night rifling through books to find odd pencil markings to erase

it wasnt that hard

u just got his record up

*snorts* ‘you borrowed ‘how to talk to girls’ when we were thirteen’

and he just rolled his eyes and marched to the computer like ‘you can see my record I deserve to see yours’

and ur like NOOOOOO nononononono

but later

‘you've read all the light-fighter novels??’

he looks at you from where hes searching for one of the books on the list, an eyebrow raised

‘yeah why’

‘dude,, I loved those books’

and he smiles a little

‘thats where I started marking the books tbh, every time I read it id add a little cross in the corner of the cover bc I read it so often’

part of u is a little impressed

the other is annoyed at how similar your taste in books is

but the first part keeps asking why u hate him so much

other than the staying late and the snarky comments

which you actually find kinda funny-

anyways

once you've gathered up a few of the books

like at least ten each

you sit on the floor of the childrens section

beanbags sprawled out beneath you as u read through some of the books

most of them you've read before

and every time you giggle at something hes written his smile gets a little bigger

but of course youre looking at the book so you dont notice

and he keeps his head down

‘is it bad that im hungry’

you lift your head from the book to look at sicheng

hes not even reading anymore hes just lounging back on the beanbags

and maybe he'd been watching u read

watching as the smile on your face grew wider at his commentary

‘I didnt see you leave tonight. have u eaten?’

you furrow your brows in thought, trying to recall having seen him leave

‘you been watching me, y/n?’

‘have you been eating, sicheng?’

and there's something about the way you say his name that makes his heart jump

his voice is soft as he looks at you in the dark

‘no’

you focus back on the book in front of you

‘finish whatever book youre on and we’ll call it a night’

‘what, you wanna go eat?’ 

you cant tell if hes just surprised or if hes hopeful

or something else

‘no but I do want to sleep’

you laugh and he forces a laugh too

you dont notice the difference

when you've returned all the books

he meets you at the front door as you grab the book you'd been reading that shift

hes just standing by the door on his phone

and maybe its bc ur tired or maybe its just him

but u cant help thinking

Jesus Christ this boy is attractive

and okay maybe u had a crush on him a few years ago

but hey! you were eleven what could u do

the crush still lasted like two years tho lmao

but u shoulder your bag and open the door for him

making sure to lock it carefully

and he walks with you in the direction of your apartment

and ur like oh u live this way too?

and hes like nah

but what kind of boy would he be if he didnt accompany home

like christ y/n u could be h u r t out here at this time of night

but you just smile at him bc wow thats ??? actually ??? kinda sweet

‘who are u and what have u done with dong sicheng’

and there goes his heart again

he just nudges u with his elbow 

and u laugh at him and continue on ur way

when u get to ur building he thanks u for ur help in the most polite way possible

and u can kind of see that hes actually rlly nice ??? how ???

but hes back at the library the next day

and of course he comes up to the counter as soon as he spots you

sneaking around a few desks so u dont hear him come up behind you to whisper ‘BOO!’ in your ear

you jump like three feet in the air and spin around to tell him to get out from behind the desk

‘I dont see a nametag on u that means u have to be on THAT side of the desk thank u very much’

‘didnt realise your name tag said bitch on it geeeez y/n ://’

and u just fix him with a glare once hes finally on the right side

‘are u borrowing a book or not’

‘nuP’

he leans on the desk

his eyes staring straight into yours

‘just wanted to ask if u were able to stay back tonight’

you roll ur eyes

you'd barely gotten any sleep last night

but the look of concern on his face when he realises youre hesitating makes you nod

‘of course,, wouldnt want my least favourite person to get kicked out’

‘I always knew you had a soft spot for me’

you roll ur eyes aGAiN

‘go bother someone else’

‘oh is the hot librarian in?’

you push him away from the desk

but he doesnt miss the faint smile on ur lips

‘sicheng dont make me give you $100 in overdue book fees’

he sticks his hands up at the threat, his eyes wide

‘no. please. ill do anything’

when u raise an eyebrow at him, he just grabs the book you'd been reading (and not yet borrowed) and walks away

and he winks too

u have to stop your heart from beating out of its chest

and later

its 8pm and the library is officially closing

and for the past three hours you'd been walking to sicheng’s desk and subtly been trying to steal your book back

but every single time hes seen you coming

and pulled the book under the desk or into his lap

away from your grabbing hands

every. single. time.

you tap your foot impatiently at him when its time to continue ur undercover project

and he smiles down at his notebook when he hears u huff in annoyance at him

he dramatically looks up at you

‘do you need something?!’

‘do you want to get suspended?!’

he narrows his eyes at you but stands up anyway

he carefully puts his things in his bag and takes the list of books from your hands

a few of them are already crossed out as having been checked and erased

but theres still a lot to go

it takes you almost three weeks to finally get to the last day

and it had been the same thing every time;

sicheng took forever to pack up

you'd eventually find about ten books each

sit in the children’s section

laugh and chat about your lives while you went through the books

tease each other

and when you'd finished,

he'd walk you home

every single time

without fail

it became a habit that on the Tuesdays he'd stop by on his way to his morning class to drop coffee off for you

because he'd kept you up the night before

and it became easy to lose track of time with sicheng

he was just so engaging

there was no part of you that felt bored or uncomfortable with him

yeah he was annoying and infuriating

but his good book taste made up for it

and his annotations in the margins of the books too

‘is this the last of them?’

he squints down at the page again, counting the books on the table again

its the third time hes counted

‘surely ive read more than this’

‘not from this library ://’

you blow your hair out from your face and look down at the pile

‘you know, I think my manager is starting to get really suspicious of me’

‘why’ he looks up briefly from his book to read your face

but you try and remain calm

‘well she only told me about the markings right. and now theyre disappearing’

he looks at you like ?????

‘well she knows ive been closing up late... I think she thinks I did it’

he laughs ‘you? has she met you?’

you pout and throw a pillow at him

‘HEY! what's that supposed to mean :((’

‘it means ive never met someone who's so protective over books as you’

you think about it, chewing ur bottom lip

‘lets just finish this’

‘do u want to get food after’

he surprises you with the sudden question

and the slight nervousness thats evident on his face really makes you want to say yes

but you have a class tomorrow

and you always try and finish up here earlier on a Thursday night

‘cant :((’

he nods and goes back to readng

theres silence for a while

but you find it comfortable

sicheng on the other hand, feels as though hes just been shot down

like

you just turned down his date

you've kinda noticed hes more reserved now

quiet

but rlly hes just kind of embarrassed

until u say something that gives him hope

‘I,, uh, I dont have plans tomorrow night’

and ngl boy is stunned

‘just if u wanted to go see a movie or something idk’

now its ur turn to be embarrassed

u hope ur hair is hiding ur face as u look back down at the book in ur lap bc no doubt ur blushing

but sicheng is just staring at you

and

before even saying anything

he leans over the gap between you

with all the books

and hovers in front of your face

ur so shocked and ur heart is beating way too hard and fast and ur breathing is too quick to be normal are you having an attack I dont know-

and then he leans forward a little bit more

and his lips meet yours

and suddenly its like a fireworks display went off inside you

and then its almost midnight on a Thursday night and ur sitting in the children's section of your workplace in the beanbags with sicheng cupping ur face and kissing you

he just really needed to kiss you

like more than he needed air

and when u finally pull back

he loves how breathless you are

how you have to fight to keep the smile off your face

how you stare at him with wide eyes

‘so its a date then?’

you blush even redder

and nod

‘ye its a date :))’

but for the next fifteen minutes you sit in stunned silence together

small smiles playing on your faces

until u look at your watch and ur like

‘shit sicheng I have to go’

and his eyes widen bc holy crap u were supposed to leave like half an hour ago

so u both sprint around the library trying to put all the books back

and he meets you at the door again after you've grabbed the keys and made sure everything that needed to be locked was,,, u know,, locked

and when ur walkign to the door again

hes on his phone

u cant see but hes texting his friends about what happened lmao what a softie

and when u walk out together

without thinking he grabs your hand

and u walk home

hand in hand

after midnight

he clears his throat

‘so uh,, when actually is our date’

‘my last class ends at 5-’

‘so 5 it is’

‘are u sure??’

he nods happily

and he presses a gentle kiss to ur forehead when u get to ur doorstep

‘ill see u tomorrow’

but the next day

when u come out of your last class

a little giddy

a little too excited

and see him leaning against one of the stone pillars

effortlessly handsome

you feel your heart flip

and maybe ur just tired or maybe its him

but hes really attractive

like really really attractive

its actually just that youre in love with him

he doesnt see you coming

too focused on something on his phone

but he definitely sees you when you push his hand out to the side and step onto ur toes to kiss him

and u can feel him smile a little as he kisses you back

‘ready for that date?’

‘yeah, where are we going’

‘so I was thinking we could go to the libra- HEY! dont hit me I was j o k i n g y/n jesus christ’

[my-autistic-things]

hey! omg i'm so happy I found your post / responce on your diagnosis for autism. i've thought i'm on the spectrum for a while now, i'm diagnosed with ADHD and have always had 'compulsions' that don't fit the criteria of OCD but that dr's have always put under that category UNTIL I read your post. okay I have NEVER had someone mention needing to feel stimuli on both sides of ur body ... "the gotta do the same thing on each side thing that’s super common apparently"as you put it ... (pt 1)

but when I read that today, idek how to describe it. ive honestly never met someone who has that urge and never been able to explain or understand why I do. thnk u so much for sharing that, it seriously did so much for me and connected a lot of dots in my head that I should connect with a dr to get 'tested'. idk if any of this makes proper sense. I did want to ask though if you know what that urge / compulsion is called or if u know of anywhere I can read up about it?! thanks so much (pt 2).

Super sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for so long!  I’m glad my post was so relatable!  I felt the same way until I read others talking about it vaguely and I was like...hEY!  I don’t know what that urge/compulsion is called, but I really wish I knew!  I haven’t come across any documents/research about this specifically, BUT I have read some articles about diagnosing autism that alluded to it.  It’s typically coded as “repetitive behaviors” which for me, means that I touch the side of each finger with my thumb at the same spot over and over again, or do things 8 times.  I don’t have the energy to look more at the DSM rn to find the specific language that it uses when describing essentially what the autistic community refers to as stimming, but that is generally what the DSM is referring to in various ways in that section of the criteria.

I’m going to discuss some stuff here just in case others want to know more/can relate!

On the show Atypical, the character does some things 3 times and it’s never mentioned that he has OCD, just autism, so it seems as though there is fairly wide recognition of having a compulsion to do something X amount of times. When I first watched the show I had an amazing moment of “I do that too!” because I never saw it before outside the context of OCD. After doing whatever fidget/stim thing I do with my right hand, I feel like things are super uneven and desperately need to do it on my left hand.  My brain is just like “gotta do it” and there’s no reason for it.  This got very bad when I was 12-14, which just so happened to be when I was under the most stress; I had just started going to school, I was fairly socially outcast, I realized I was transgender, I came out to my mom and I wasn’t allowed to start my transition, and I was severely depressed.  When I was 14 I started transitioning, changed schools, was super stressed about suddenly having friends and wanting to keep them, and I actually started medication for depression and OCD (which did NOT work and made everything worse and scared my mom into stopping all medication). Anyways, soon after that I started research autism, started college, got my drivers license and had a lot more freedom, fully transitioned, and got diagnosed with autism as well. Learning about sitmming and being under so much less stress allowed me to...not be as stressed lol. 

One of the ways OCD was explained to me (as in, me at 13 telling my therapist I have OCD and him telling me I don’t until I explained how distressing it is I have to do things 8 times), was that you feel like you have to do a specific ritual otherwise something bad will happen. Like there is an actual consequence you can explain.  He asked me what I was scared of happening if I didn’t touch my fingers 8 times and I didn’t have an answer.  For a random example, you need to flick your light switch on and off before leaving it on to scare away a monster under your bed otherwise it might attack you. Or, you’re scared your family is going to die and your brain tells you that if you do a specific ritual they will be safe.

Stimming is more like “this feels good and I will continue to do it until I am satisfied.”  This can be very confusing when it feels compulsory, but I noticed that it only feels compulsory when I actually need to stim and prevent a meltdown/shutdown/in sensory overload. Once I started using stim toys, carrying a tangle around, using a necklace of fidget rings, and being aware I’m autistic and need to stim, my “OCD” started going away.  Still got plenty of social anxiety, but the daily struggles I thought were due to OCD got so so so much better.

I’d just like to note, the main posts I’ve seen talking about needing to do things until it “feels right” or organizing things in a particular way that doesn’t make explainable sense but more until it “looks right” have all been about ADHD. ADHD and autism are so close, I don’t mean to mislead anyone to think about this OCD/stim compulsion whatever this is, is an exclusive autism thing. I was able to identify this as an “autism thing” by looking at the DSM criteria and interpreting the traits related to stimming and finding them directly corresponding with my “OCD” symptoms. But, the “feels right” aspect I have identified as an “ADHD thing” by reading posts made by others with ADHD talking about the same feeling.  So, I’m guessing this is a neurodivergent thing in general that some people experience! Probably more commonly found in autistic people, but I wouldn’t say it’s only an autistic thing.

Feel free to comment if you can relate to this! Or have any more information/want to share your experience!

[bitchsexuality]

@animaliae

ok first off i’m sorry i took so long to reply!! i’ve been busy in the most tedious way possible so my brain’s not exactly my best friend right now. second off: THANK U SO MUCH these were so fun to answer!!

i’m putting all of these in the same post because i started talking and i could not Shut The Up, and i think one atrociously long post is better than four long posts when it comes to like, scrollability. scrollpastability? scroll-Something. and putting it under a readmore too for the same reasons

SO, from top to bottom:

weirdest character idea for D-N-D:

it’s an idea i’ve already had because i can’t come up with anything right now dksjfgbd, but

once i made a druid for a D//N/D-based CRPG who only cast spells when they gave him something edible (in theory ofc, the game didn’t let me eat my summoned bears... thankfully...), so i ended up with nothing but goodberries and several animal summoning spells. then i proceeded to cheat my way through the game, which defeated the point sdfgsd, but it was still fun concept-wise

also made me spend too much time wondering if the entangle spell’s vines could be eaten. i mean you can’t eat the WHOLE thing but maybe you could like, munch on it a little, or try to slurp it up like a noodle. it wouldn’t be tasty, it wouldn’t be easy, and it most definitely would not be healthy, but it’s like. the principle of the thing 

if ur asking yourself WHY i did that… well there aren’t THAT many D/ND-based CRPGS out there and i’d already played that one —several times, in fact— so i wanted to try something different :0

i mean it’s not THAT weird tbh, but he’s the only OC i can think of right now that soooooort of fits? and my brain is like, a tundra of creativity at the moment. a deep tar pool that absorbs all inspiration and drags it, kicking and screaming, to its viscous doom. well you get the idea. or i hope you do because i sure fucking don’t

ideal ending for one of my characters:

hmmmm for like, original fiction characters i more or less have all their endings planned out? most of them ARE ideal because i am fully in control of their destinies and i am also a softhearted lidle bich who prefers stories with relatively uplifting/happy endings. or tbh even the ones that aren’t technically happy are still ideal in terms of character arcs, development, etc

(i might be giving myself way too much credit there though skdjgbdksjfg)

and —though this is super unlikely and mostly just me deceiving myself at this point— i do want to publish what i’m working on rn, so talking about endings would be a spoiler for something that does not exist and probably never will outside of my idiot fool head. so i’m gonna talk about an old OC that i’m not doing anything with anymore!

her name was elina and her entire deal was that she came from a family of very powerful witches who owned a, uh, i guess you could call it an archive? or a library?? idk, it was just an ABSURDLY large collection of magic-related books, and it pretty much contained all known arcane knowledge (though come think of it, “all known arcane knowledge” can’t have been THAT much because the archive was just one room. a huge fucking monster of a room yeah but like. still just One)

so anyway, her family members were very dutiful + responsible when it came to the archivelibraryroom thing, but they were also too traditional for her tastes? like they didn’t bother practicing/using magic, or experimenting, or looking for anything outside of books; they only cared about written things, and even then they did nothing but get the Very Important Books, put them in the archivelibraryroom and forget about them completely

then elina ran into a group of other magic-users who were investigating a weird phenomenon in her hometown, and she asked her family about it, but they essentially were like “oh if it doesn’t affect the books we don’t care lol anyway it’s your turn to clean the archivelibrary now”

but yeah i’m sure y’all can tell where this is going kjdfgbd elina was the typical YA protag in that she was super rebellious, so she turned her back on her family and left her house to help the group of inconveniently yet stereotypically teenage magic-users, made friends, learned about magic, blah blah blah

the issue is that i never gave that story an ending? like the closest thing to it was a vague “uhhhh elina goes back home to find the archivelibrary is burning down and pulls some kind of mysterious water magic out of her ass to save it; then her family apologizes, they begin to respect her and she stays with them to keep caring for the archivelibrary, But With A Progressive Twist”

the issue was that after writing around two chapters i realized i didn’t actually Have a plot, so i didn’t know what story that ending would be... ending... and since i couldn’t think of anything + i wasn’t THAT attached to the characters anyway i just gave up on it

but now that i’m thinking of it again, just for the sake of ending the Story That Never Was, i feel like making her earn the respect of her family just because she saved the books + proved she actually cares about that too is, idk, shallow? out of character? 

because she believed that her family’s fixation on history + Neatly Documented stuff was holding them back and making things worse for everyone. she left her home behind because her ideals re.: magic —that it should grow and change to fit the context + people’s needs, and not the other way around— were so strong

OOF THIS IS GETTING SO FUCKING LONG KSDJGB i’m just gonna stop here and say: elina’s new ideal ending is pretty much that while she ends up in friendly terms with her family —because, in spite of their fundamental disagreements, they never hurt her— she doesn’t go back home and chooses to travel around the world instead, helping people in whichever way possible and freely sharing her knowledge with anyone who’s willing to listen and, at the same time, learning from them

i mean, the concept’s not too original ksjdbg just something i thought of super quick, and that’s just a half-assed attempt at closure for an OC i made when i was like… 9

headcanons about my favs:

ok this one’s hard because i’m not into any like… fandom things right now? i haven’t found anything that rly interests me or that i could see myself being passionate about, which sucks because i do kinda miss being into stuff with Established Content :( 

so i’ve been focusing on my OCs + original stories and such. and i’m not sure if OC headcanons count as headcanons because i control canon so technically everything i come up with IS canon. then again it’s headcanon too because it’s a canon from my head because that’s where ideas come from. okay wait i’m not making any cents here x 

but uhh knowing me i might think of something right after publishing this, so if that happens i’ll come back and edit this post :0

also just saying but if any of y’all know of something i could get into then lmk, i’m open to suggestions! preferably free stuff though... i’m beset by capitalisms

a favorite scene that i loved:

i can’t remember any in particular right now, either from my #content or somebody else’s SDFKJGBDF god my mind 😔 well i mean i’m gonna be a little bit full of meself and say that i’ve written things that i really like, especially imagery-wise, but i Also want to publish those someday… like i’ve also written original/OC-related stuff that i don’t plan on publishing, but i’m not THAT proud of them tbh :/

i was —emphasis on was— trying to write a short story about jasna (one of my D-N/D OCs, a cleric of oghma) that never really went anywhere, but i did post a snippet on my OC blog, and that’s what i hate the least out of all my recent attempts at writing? so i’m just gonna put it here again ig sdfgs (not actually linking to the OC blog post because it’s kind of a mess rn, i need to fix the theme + clean it up a bit)

if you got this far and read all of this nonsensical verbal monster: i love u with all my heart and i would legitimately die for u.

[pepprs]

[DONT RB] ok so there’s no way for me to talk abt this that isn’t gonna make me look like an absolute dumbass but im in the middle of a creative existential crisis and i rly need help figuring it out :•( this is gonna get SUPER LONG so im putting it under a readmore. thank u to anyone who reads this!!! and double thank u to anyone who can give some input / advice, i rly rly appreciate it. im sorry abt the length!

aight so for some background.... ive been drawing n writing poetry for abt 5 yrs now and both of those things r rly important to me. in school im an english major w a creative writing minor (for the poetry) and i work as a graphic designer (for the art) so ive been growing a lot as an artist and writer esp in the past 2 yrs and im kinda workin towards one or the other (or ideally both somehow!) as a career. one of the biggest dreams ive had since i started seriously pursuing both of these hobbies 5 yrs ago is to publish a book of poetry that i design / illustrate myself, and also to have a portfolio online where ppl can read all of my poetry and see all of my artwork (both professional / work stuff but also archives of all of my sketchbooks since those r rly important to me!!!) and maybe even make some sort of online shop where ppl can buy my art (stickers, keychains, etc!) and my poetry books!

that sounds pretty simple right? WRONG!!!!!! why? bc im a fucking idiot! and there are several dumb things i do that make this dream completely impossible for me to achieve! love that for me!

so for starters... ive been posting (almost) all of my art and ALL of my poetry online for all 5 yrs ive been creating it. that’s bad because:

ive hardly ever used my real name (which i would want to use for the book / shop / portfolio), it’s been under my usernames / aliases that go along w them (p*pe, pep, pea, etc and related usernames that shall not be mentioned) and i started going by my real first name only abt a yr ago, but still maintain those usernames for the most part in conjunction w my real name

my work has been primarily been posted to d*viantart and tumblr which aren’t exactly the most uh... professional places to do that. not that there rly are many i guess lmao but still

my online persona on these platforms is rly like. lax and loose which is Cool And Quirky when brought into a professional setting if it’s done right i guess.... but im just immature and unprofessional. i swear all the time, i shitpost constantly, im incessantly tmi? and that’s not even it like it’s just a whole mess!

SO there’s that whole set of problems and like im just concerned because... i stopped posting art online last yr for the most part and a lot of the old stuff that’s on dA (since that was rly where i did it most) is bad and not worth sharing like that anyways, so im not as worried abt that. but my poetry.... i still actively post that online in all my messiness and candidness here and like. it’s rly not that hard to find me? like if u copy a poem of mine and put it in google it’ll pull up my dA right away! and that’s like.... GOD i just am embarrassed for anyone irl to see that or for that to be connected with my irl / professional self in the future, but i don’t want to stop posting my work there (or here!!!!!) bc the community is so supportive and ive made some rly good connections / built a lot of traction over the 5 yrs ive been doing it. (PLUS for the online portfolio i wanna do specifically... i kinda want to post all of my art and poetry there, like everything ive ever done (specifically poetry, ive written almost 500 poems over the 5 yrs ive been doing it!), but i feel like that’s not rly the most professional thing to do and idk how to even gauge whether it is or not :-/)

but that’s not all!!!! because there’s another part to this and that is: the very nature of the content i produce is Not Good! for my art it’s not as much of a problem bc since I work as an artist rn a lot of what i make is professional, but for my personal art... a lot of that is either self portraits or my characters and a lot of my characters are like. animals. like specifically pepe (who is basically Me As A Cat).... i draw her constantly and so much of my best work is of her but it’s just like? embarrassing i guess for my ocs to take up so much of my portfolio and sketchbooks and stuff and share that. like i know everyone has characters and it’s not bad to do that and share that but i feel like ppl will judge me :-( so it’s made me rly hesitant to post stuff to my art ig for example bc i just don’t fucking know how to act, like it’s bad enough that i can’t type the way i want to and i have to type in proper caps n whatever instead bc irls i don’t know / trust as well follow me (including some ppl from work? Yikes?)....... but i feel like i can’t share my sketchbook stuff for example bc it’s all cats and my characters and visual shitposts and im uncomfy to share that bc like... im almost 20 and i don’t want ppl to think im immature or whatever? i kno i should feel like it’s my account and i can post wot i want but like. i fucking can’t bro i just can’t!!

and THEN.... my poetry. that’s the biggie bc like for my art? even tho im uncomfortable i don’t mind sharing that w ppl i know irl but for my POETRY.... it’s very easy to find like where i share that i guess? (the google thing i mentioned earlier but also its linked to my art on here and dA too... f) but i literally never actively share my writing w irl ppl unless im performing @ an open mic or workshopping in class bc im fucking terrified of the possibility of irl ppl finding my poetry. it’s almost ironic how public ive been w it online but how private i am abt it irl... it’s like im living a double life and it’s fucking terrible but it’s the only way i feel safe. bc like art is what i do for other ppl and also to destress and vent when i need a quick fix on my own time. but poetry.... that’s personal, it’s where i feel most like myself, it’s how i talk abt my life and ppl in it and make meaning of things and talk abt things authentically and Get Deep. and my literal worst nightmare is for ppl (who have the explicit ability to by virtue of Knowing Me) to read into it and Understand what im talking abt and have that power over me and see me differently for feeling the way i do or doing what i do. ive actually already been burned by this before after my mom read some work of mine that had been published irl (i don’t want to get too into it but basically i retroactively outed myself thru her reading that poem for what it was and it was Very Very Bad) and as paranoid abt it as i was before, it’s even worse now that it’s actually happened to me and could happen again at any time, esp if i decide to take my work further.

that manifests in a few ways too, like my writing is so cryptic and vague and very heavy on metaphors / symbolism and shit partially out of that deep fear and need to shield myself and my work. sometimes in spaces where i do feel comfy sharing, ppl have a hard time understanding my poetry unless i give context. online and on stage and in workshop ppl don’t rly know me outside of a context where the only thing we have in common is self expression thru poetry, so i don’t rly mind sharing more when it’s appropriate. but if i were to share my work as a book or w/e, ppl im close to (who maybe don’t always think like a poet / artist does bc they aren’t that) would want to buy it and read it and might ask abt what it means and i don’t even know what i would do in that situation. and if ppl were to read my work and see themselves / others in it, whether it is abt them or not, im scared it could genuinely damage relationships like it did with my mom.

SO UH.... idk where im going w this rly, i kno it’s long and rambly and melodramatic and im probably overthinking it and making a mountain out of a molehill and nobody even knows / cares abt me AND my work @ the same time enough to read That Deep into it. but it just fucking sucks that im so uncomfortable and insecure that i can’t comfortably fulfill literally the one single long term goal / life dream that i have. andthe thing that sucks is i can’t talk to Anybody abt this except like... my sister and brother bc they’re the only ppl i genuinely tell everything to, but they don’t have the knowledge and expertise abt art / poetry that like... my poetry prof does, for example. and my poetry prof is one of the best ppl ive ever met and the Only person ive ever met irl who respects and understands my poetry in the exact way i need someone to. she and i have been talking and she rly wants to help me publish my poetry bc she sees merit in my work and knows how bad i want to / how successful it’s been already, but i don’t know how to talk abt this to her bc im embarrassed to tell her abt posting online and being ashamed abt my muses and all that and it just!!! sucks so much bc i kinda want to publish my work @ least once before i graduate and do it semi regularly for the rest of my life? but there’s so much in my way and it’s just! FGGFHDGJGGGG

[ariyadaivaris]

hey ive been trying to figure out how to do this for awhile and since some anons have asked im gonna try 2 articulate my feelings about f*nn and this is not going to be very polite and im sorry, its nothing personal and if you have a perspective on him that i dont its fine and i absolutely get you and im glad you can enjoy that! i just wanted to try and work through how the fuck i feel about him and this is ultimately a pretty personal post and not a Manifesto on How F*nn Is Bad (i dont think he is, particularly, ftr), so like, if youre not interested which I CANNOT FAULT YOU FOR AT ALL, just know that its cool to go on! this isn’t trying to start shit or anything, i genuinely dont want to, im just writing this for Me, basically. its alright. 

thanks thats the intro done okay take care i love u

what...does f*nn have even. he’s good in the ring but he’s surrounded by people who are better. he doesn’t have a character. what motivates him? what the fuck is he even fighting for? what is his personality, even? he absorbs the storylines of everyone around him in any feud he does too often for him to be as underdeveloped as he is and yet we are here and WHY???

i mean. apollo. let’s look at apollo! apollo is similarly kinda underdeveloped character-wise and most of who he is comes from who he is irl, and people don’t really play characters up irl! but like. it’s not glaring in the same way f*nn is, because

1) apollo got called up SUPER SUPER EARLY in nxt where f*nn had YEARS to develop a character and still holds a spot as longest reigning nxt champion, and

2) apollo plays a support role! he’s not a main event player (which is fucking criminal in and of itself but thats another issue) and him being underdeveloped+not as fleshed out lends itself pretty well to him supporting people however they need support at the moment. it’s not Ideal but it works well for who he is in the context of story stuff, which is not the case for f*nn

(also 3 secretly but apollo’s moveset is actually really varied and interesting which f*nn’s is...not but that’s a subjective thing obviously lol)

like. f*nn is just. such a nothing of a wrestler. i’m sorry but genuinely i don’t know or understand what there is there. he doesn’t have a character besides...vagueing people on twitter until he gets what he wants and yes okay i know that’s not an entirely true unbiased thing to say and im sorry but also i dont think im exactly Wrong

(also about vaguing people on twitter i know that has something to do with how bad his 2017 booking was, i WON’T deny that, and multiple people are booked badly in dubya at once and they all deserve more than that, but also f*nn’s the only person who really got any rage on his behalf as far as i’ve seen and it’s definitely affected my feelings about that)

the only thing he’s got going for him is a storied history in new japan, which itself feels lacking in the ring, and which honestly...gets...a lot more credit than deserved (and mostly SOLO credit at that)? he DID create the bullet club but his bullet club was essentially an entire stable of Foreigner Heels. cheap heat. any story he told (and i only know that there was apollo 55, im unaware of any other feuds, so bear that in mind) feels so...like...secondary to that of anyone he worked with. he could be a support role and get away with being the white bread he is but GOD FORBID that should happen, and so he just engulfs the story of anyone around him and does nothing and it’s just

it’s disappointing and its boring and exhausting to see him get shot after shot after shot doing the same thing over and over again because He Can. i have nothing much against him, i think he’s petty and petulant and very...self-absorbed, like, not in an entirely bad way but in the sense that he buys a lot of his own hype? and its...off-putting. i don’t know him personally though obviously, that’s just how i feel about him based on what ive seen, but like, as a person, its whatever. i just can’t stand him as a wrestler or a character. he’s generic and unmotivated and so. NOTHING and it’s exhausting to watch and try to make something meaningful and enjoyable out of. especially juxtaposed with the miz rn, and even with s*th, who i hate but who at least HAS a personality even if it’s a genuinely awful one

not even going into the fan reception of f*nn vs anyone else who’s more deserving and interesting than he is, lmao, i’m bitter as anything about how f*nn is treated compared to the cruiserweights because NATURALLY and OBVIOUSLY i’m biased, you all know this, i don’t deny it, i cant say this comparison is all the way fair when im so so so FUCKING cwuisewweights, but like, the reaction to f*nn getting Beachballed vs any of the 205 dudes getting Beachballed was so heartbreaking in how much More he gets just for the name he’s got

i don’t know. i don’t know. i just think he’s such a nothing of a character, surrounded by people (taguchi, joe, kevin, hideo, FUCK IT, even s*th or like, fucking, KENNY, or the young bucks, or ANYONE) who really care about the character and story they have against him, and instead of being relegated to a supporting role where he’d be like, Worth anything, he’s thrust into whatever title picture or main event there is because He’s F*nn B*lor and it’s so...so much less talked about or acknowledged and for the life of me i don’t understand why. i don’t know what it is im missing

again, i don’t have much against him as a person, i personally don’t like how he acts but he doesn’t seem Proublematique in any way beyond...the foreigner heel stuff which is inherently built in anti-japan sentiment EVEN THOUGH that is strictly kayfabe afaik (though he does fucken. support the special olympics and did some Cool Trendy Straitjacket Entrances as prince nevitt and that is a very VERY personal thing i have against him) i guess that’s what matters. i just. ugh. im over it

i appreciate him being vocally supportive of queer fans but i don’t owe him for that and i still think it sucks that he, a (as far as i know) straight white dude, is getting the platform to do that instead of people who are actually queer and out in the same company. sonya isn’t getting this chance, and more blatantly, darren never got that chance. despite having the block the hate movement, and despite the fact that his coming out is what got him a face turn while it was ENTIRELY and COMPLETELY unacknowledged in the canon universe of wwe proper. like, i guess that’s not f*nn’s fault but there’s a common trend of men of color being pushed down to boost him up and it’s not the best. i don’t think that’s all his fault but i don’t like it

again this isn’t like, denouncing Liking F*nn, its fine! this isnt decrying everything about him, i don’t wanna fight about this, and if you like finn, sincerely i’m glad you can find something there to like and i hope you’re having a good time with him! and to boot i really DON’T know much about anything he did before dubya, and so i could very well be wrong about everything. like, calling the gullet blub just a Cheap Heat Stable? that interpretation could be and probably is wrong. i know that, and i know that’s probably gonna affect how i feel abt him, but also god i do not care even a bit enough to learn and i would rather die than look at pr*nce nevitt/gullet blub anything

i dont know. i hope this didnt come off as.......TOO shitty, i know this is a stupid and mostly impenetrable post, its alright, this is just me trying to work through this for myself and i promise its not like...a huge thing. thats all! thats all. im sorry if i worded this weird at all and i know my perspective isnt the best or most informed on this, but also i am very very tired of f*nn and i don’t think that’s an unfair thing to say

[crossgartered]

P5R Liveblog (13/?)

Haru arc

[[MORE]]

Oh...? Are you hung up on Wakaba, too, Doctor?

Oh, Rumi. ...Who's Rumi?

IS IT KASUMI'S SISTER??? bc you know there's weird stuff going on there

Probably not but this is for wild guessing anyway

If we can believe Kasumi then her sister is younger than her

And that'd be pretty weird to talk about in a romantic context

The problem is if kasumi is to be believed

she's dead I know she's dead I don't think she knows she's dead but she's super dead

Or in a coma I guess but let's be real here

I don't trust Shibusawa in the slightest. He's definitely going to try to take that research. I wouldn't be surprised if he was one of those men in black suits, either. He's rich - he goes to the Wilton on a whim, with his "buddies" - he could definitely be one of Shido's men.

OMFNDJD THIS LES MIS KNOCK OFF FILLS ME WITH JOY

Hoo boy. Maruki... I don't think you'll be very pleased with our answer. I do think you have good intentions, now, but you will definitely be an antagonist here.

I'm still really impressed with Chihaya. She really thought that the protag would hate her once she told her story, that her fortune said he was supposed to hate her, and she "never thought [he] would overturn even that fate". And yet, she told him anyway.

A Yusuke & Ann showtime!! : D I wonder what it'll be like?

THATS SO INCREDIBLY ANIME I LOVE IT

Haru idolizing superheroines vs Ann idolizing lady villains fight

I cannot waittt to see what they do with cognitive Haru, if they decided to make her this time around

YUSUKE CAN DUPLICATE IN PALACES?!?!?

A Will Seed with lasers barring the way? Interesting.

FUTABA FINISHING TOUCH FUTABA FINISHING TOUCH!!!!

Huh, it's kinda goofier than I was expecting.

"When a person is continually faced with oppression, they come to welcome its presence." Yusuke : (

"Such psychological trickery is being used here. I... experienced it first-hand for many years." YUSUKE : C

It's kinda nice that those workers are being blocked by lasers instead of us being too intimidated by their number to just go after them. ...Am I remembering this correctly?

Oh, Noir... I'm glad I get the option to ask if she's okay.

The Yumizuki High uniform really does suit Yusuke.

I wonder if there's a way to talk to people about their outfits.

Does Futaba's thing happen in place of Joker's, now? That's kind of a shame

HEY DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE TO HAVE FUTABA SHOWTIMES?!?????

Airlock time.

Man I want to see robot/cyborg Haru so badly come on Okumura I know she's here

This stuff about being okay for 30 sec as long as you close your eyes and mouth sounds wrong but I don't know enough about the condition of the human body in space enough to dispute it so okay I fuess

Anyway this is run by clap your hands if you believe kinda magic so it doesn't really matter anyway (also, thank god for Futaba saying that it'd work)

It's interesting - space factories/stations aren't a typical heist target (nor are castles, tbh, but museums, banks, pyramids, casinos? Naturally) (space stations in general can be, in the right genre. But this is set up a bit unusually for that). Corporate offices of shady companies, however...

Spaceeeeee ahdskdjs this is SO COOL

what the fuck what the fuck was something else going through the airlock?!?!

Ugh, how aggravating. I had been able to get the Will Seed the entire time until I pulled the lever that allowed me to progress

What is this shadow???? I'm not sure I know it! "Pagan savior", huh?

No, guys, there's another airlock room. Stop saying 'the treasure is just beyond that door!' when there is a whole other area/floor to go through. Especially since you have a map

Futaba gets motion sickness...oh no I'm so sorry ;u;

I...actually remembered the first half of the solution to the transfer line. I got out of there in practically no time. Heck yeah!

"Thou hast to awakened to the ultimate secret of the Sun, granting thee infinite power..." Yoshida...! TAT

I always end up maxing him right around the end of Okumura's Palace. I feel so bad. His newfound popularity is gonna absolutely tank soon. ;-;

Man, who even gets elected after the populace starts caring again? I don't know how Japanese politics works, really, like at all, honestly, but probably he has a subordinate who can take his place. But like, his whole crew's gotta be corrupt, right? Especially someone who'd be his replacement. Though honestly, considering how paranoid he got by the end, he probably chose someone weak-willed in order to prevent

Oh wait hold on I just looked up how this works. Apparently, uh...

Huh. I'm not sure if the cabinet resigns if the prime minister does usually or if that's just if the house passes a vote of no confidence. But, the prime minister appoints the ministers, so if the prime minister changes then there could be an issue there, probably?

But anyway. Looks like the Diet would immediately try to vote for a different person once the prime minister seat is vacant.

Huh, I wonder who gets voted in, then. Well, we only know of 2 candidates other than Shido, and Yoshida doesn't have the funding or even (yet) the popularity to become prime minister, so Matsushida is really the only other choice unless they pick someone we haven't heard about.

Oh my GOD I hate the school. They're being such assholes to Kasumi. She got 3rd place!!! That's amazing!!! This isn't even a school specializing in gymnastics!!!!!! YOU SPECIALIZED IN VOLLEYBALL AND EVEN IF THAT WERENT THE CASE YOURE TERRIBLE

*ahem* Anyway.

You can tell that Maruki is quietly pissed and honestly? Valid. Super valid. Same, Maruki, same.

She's not gonna get that text, with how her phone is.

"we took in those sisters to improve Shujin's standing, but at this rate, we're only going to end up suffering for it." Oh??? Oh??????

"not only have we lost one of them, but the other ones not doing us any good. Talk about a waste of effort..." Hooooly shit you asshole

Wait, hold on, it's October already????!? November's just a month away!! I have less than 3 months for social linking! And I still haven't maxed knowledge or kindness! (Or guts, but whatever) I've only maxed 1 person! Although I'm close to maxing Ryuji & Ann & Yusuke. And some npcs

AHHHHH CUTSCENE CUTSCENE!!!!

So the keywords - lab, stadium, and ... Either Maruki or Kasumi for the person. OH MAN AND EITHER WAY IM ALREADY IN MY PHANTOM THIEF CLOTHES

ONE OF THEM DOESNT TRUST ME

It's probably Maruki, right? Bc of the lab... But also I thought the whole wish fulfillment thing was going to be his cogpsi project... With the help of Jose, maybe...

Speaking of Jose, Jose looks like a toy, especially with that hair and those ears. I wonder what material he's supposed to be? Based on the ears I'd say plastic, maybe, but the hair looks more ceramic to me.

Anyway, back to the relevant FUCKING PALACE WOOHOO

I haven't even sent a calling card for Okumura yet so we're not dealing with this anytime soon

Ooh, this music... <3

Oh man, I totally forgot I had Morgana in the maid costume. I gotta get him into something more serious

Why is dancewear not the p5dsn costume??

This is...really empty...

I am suddenly really scared at what the people are going to look like

There are pigeons here...

But wait, if this is Maruki's Palace, then this is bc of all his grief... He doesn't want anyone to hurt, ever again. The people will be their ideal selves, probably...

...I'd love to see a cognition of myself, tbh. That won't happen, but I'd love it.

This place is really beautiful... With the music it seems like a sad place...

Look at all these wires

That's probably the sister, right?

Unless that's the cognition of Yoshizawa when she was alive and her current self is her ideal self.

The shadow attacked the cognition???!?!

YUP this is definitely Maruki's Palace

Hmm. Interesting.

Oh, Cendrillon really is perfect for her, huh.

SHES DOING A MAGICAL GIRL TRANAFORMATION WHAY

WHAT

WHY????

IM NOT UPSET ITS JUST A LITTLE WHAT????

Does her outfit look like mine a little bit bc she's using me as a role model for her source of confidence - confidence that she is using/interpreting for her inner rebellious spirit?

Wait, lost my train of thought

Aww, I mistimed that. I was hoping to get a Kasumi finishing touch

MORGANA-SENPAI

It is definitely an unfair consequence

Oh, so that's why, narratively, her phone sucks. It's to prevent us from figuring out whose Palace it is.

Yeah, this time it's entirely on you, Morgana.

... it's because of gymnastics? And not because you disagree with us on an ideological level? ...okay. sure. Whatever.

Hoo boy. This is gonna suck when Okumura has his mental shutdown. I wonder how she'll react.

She is of the Faith arcana, whatever that means. Maybe she'll keep faith in me? I did max her half-confidant

It's cool, Kasumi. I really didn't do much. You may have a debt of gratitude or whatever but like you don't actually need to repay it. Just keep being my friend and maybe one day you'll quit keeping score

*sigh*

If only. Too bad you're probably dead.

SHOWTIME WITH HARU? SHOWTIME WITH HARU? PLEASE?

Oh, Mona-chan. I figured as much, but I was still hoping...

Anyway, Haru&Mona showtime still very good!

Man, I would kill to hear their explanations for what they're doing.

...this is incredibly violent, isn't it? I anticipate it with bated breath

Oh man, can you imagine a showtime with Kasumi? Maybe with Akechi, if Atlus isn't going to give me one

Which, fair enough, from a gameplay standpoint

Still. : (

"the Phantom Thief Basic Training"?

Oh, good, we're actually addressing cognitive people with Haru.

Oh, this is either gonna suck if they address the implications, or we're gonna see cognitive Haru. >: 3

Dream world, huh...

THE YUSUKE-HARU FRIENDSHIP IS SO UNDERSTATED AND UNDERRATED I WANT MORE CONTENT

THERE SHE IS!!! THERE SHW IS!!!!

Oh, man, I had a lot of feelings during that fight. That time limit though

I like how they updated this fight

Although I think I'm a little underleveled, potentially. I could not destroy her before she self-destructed, and it took me a while to beat the chief directors and executive director. Oneshotted Okumura himself, though.

OH MAN I SHOULD HAVE READ THIS BILLIARDS BOOK EARLIER

I DIDNT REALIZE I COULD INCREASE MY TECHNICALS????

I already thought that technicals were beefed up from how they were - I guess this is part of that!

Wish I had another book on kindness, ugh.

SO THATS HOW THEY CHANGED POSITION HACK

Ann & Haru have such similar colors. I wish they would have darkened Haru's a little bit more

Wait I never got to see the Haru-Mona showtime

I even had both in my party : (

GOD IWAI YOU'RE SO SHADY

I forgot to start his social link until now whoops

Although I've only had my guts high enough for past ~2ish weeks so there's that at least

Guh, I have to get to Mementos and start up Shinya's...

How many part-time jobs does this have? Like, 5? Maybe 6, if you count him helping out Sojiro? The convenience store, the beef bowl place, the flower shop, Crossroads, and now the gun shop. Anything I'm missing? I feel like I'm missing one.

Desire & Hope is really pretty. The Desire underneath is kinda weirdly desaturated compared to the hope, though. Not sure if it actually works as well as Desire did by itself. Idk. They're both good, but I liked how Desire looked a bit more. I understand that D&H has personal meaning, though. Who knows, maybe in person I would feel differently

I kinda really like that Yusuke tends to go more abstract with his stuff, even if he does try out a bunch of different styles

Maxing Yusuke. And thank god for Affinity Readings. Finally got Ryuji at a point where I can max him.

Oh. I had forgotten how Kamu Susano-o looks. ...

[whydoyouthinkileft]

aos spoilers

-Fitz sooooo gentle asking how is her head makes me die. in the good way. This is one of the reasons you people make me want to write people getting hurt, it's too good -just yesterday I wrote to a friend about Jemma screaming in pain from that thing and there we are -also *I* almost forgot how pretty she is with no makeup on, but lol Fitz's face is going to be in 19348 gifsets because it's always the Look of Shook&Love. -also love that he's playing doctor with Jemma while Daisy goes killing the guy (but guys, no one knew what was in her ear, for all they knew thy might have killed her pulling it out) -I know Kasius' brother is a bastard and I can see parallels with Christian, but given how repulsed I am by Kasius I can't help but be amused whenever his brother gives him looks that are screaming 'lmao your face' -also once again YOU GO JEMMA FOR SLASHING HIS FACE -Sinara, someone I might hate even more than Kasius (she is well aware of how creepy he is to Jemma, more than he was, and was clearly enjoying it, and also is even more sadistic than the other blue jackass) is also making me laugh with her looks of 'r u kidding me right now' to Kasius - also she did say you are repulsive because he was begging and oohhh this feels good -'I know I threw you in the pit of death after promising you freedom and a better life, but what about MY feelings?' -Jemma is bleeding from her ear but that's totally fine -that's basically me whenever I'm in a car ride that lasts more than two minutes. Dying, motion sick, laying against things, feels good to be running outside even if to my death than to be stuck still in the car, bleeding -MAY, IS MAY THERE. ALSO OH LOOK AT THE SURFACE THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF PLANET WHERE I WANTED JEMMA TO BE INSTEAD OF MAVETH (but with a red sun during the day). Even THE FUCKING WIND SOUNDS FOR A SECOND SOUNDED SIMILAR TO THE ONE FROM 3X02 WHEN THEY GAVE US A TINY PEEK OF IT. -Enoch, can you come to my place and kill the insects for me -May: Fitz?!    is she about to bring up the ancient has-been -oh my God, May is so fucking done -she's gonna lose her leg or something isn't she -okay but honestly, did they write this season thinking it was the last? -NO ENOCH, ENOCH FUCK. ALSO THOSE ARE THE THINGS ROBYN DREW.  Those things with 'long hands' and someone with brown hair dead in the middle -as I was saying, was this meant to be the last season? because May's leg will keep her from fighting, Coulson has a deal with the Ghost Rider, Fitz?? Can he even come back to the past? Can anyone? Can anyone rewrite the future anyway, because then there won't be a Lighthouse for them to go in when they got kidnapped. The drawing. But there is a fifth one so next season is... May limping to Coulson's rescue, them getting Fitz or whoever stays back? -uh Flint -Kasius's brother 'I prefer blades' so does Jemma. Watch it -the only thing that runs deeper than the river of blood from your fallen soldier is the shame that you bring to our family' jesus he has the best fucking lines that I want to reuse at dinners -after that speech he's giving Kasius a gun. Kasius is going to kill his brother eventually. -finally the kids again. Daisy: touches pipe. Daisy: 'ah, it's hot!'. Jemma: -touches pipe to check if it's also hot 'this one is cold'. Wow, my same method for checking everything. -oohhhhhhhhh the gravity bullshitting thing from s1 -nah Fitz will be fine, he won't risk dying now -also of course they surrender for Fitz but with faces of people waiting for the chance to kill lol -the warrior wants to fight fair, right? turn Daisy's powers ON DAMN IT -Deke, I was wondering where he was -'Thank you... this guy' lmao -JEMMA: "Kill him, he's a snake" getting up with gangsta attitude > Fitz slides down "Oh sorry." I WROTE MOMENTS LIKE THIS BEFORE.   -oh true, Mack keeps getting told not to worry every time by mourning kids -GROUP REUNION! -FLINT NO -MY EMOTIONS ARE A ROLLERCOASTER -AIM FOR THE HEAD COULSON DAMN IT -this whole 'not killing' thing makes no sense in this context, they conqueered earth?? they'll keep coming? eventually you'll have to kill them to survive or save others, but by then too many will have died?? -"Escape to where??" Deke, don't bring attention to yourself, it doesn't go well for you -"They are after me" "and me" "And me" -I'm laughing at none of them trusting Deke (also FS going first together because uhhh they keep getting separated, they gotta) and took his anti-gravity thing -did Jemma just say allons-y doctor who style, DOES SHE REGULARLY QUOTE DOCTOR WHO IN REAL LIFE BECAUSE I WRITE THAT AND I'M HAPPY -ALSO GOING UP HUGGING IS ADORABLE AND WHY DON'T THEY ALL DO THAT -except of course no one will hug Deke -is Sinara going to kill the warrior jackass? YES SHE IS. I KNEW IT. I KNEEEEW IT, he kept pushing her around -oohh they don't have a pilot -Flint is too good of a kid, and also I'm thinking of the theory of him rebuilding the planet -MACK/YOYO/FLINT FAMILY -I mean, it's also because it's a mess to film so many characters together at once -FITZ NOT GETTING ENOUGH CREDIT LMAO -Coulson 'got a flying car, how different can it be' guys find seatbelts real fast -Daisy flew a quinjet back to the base before, though, can't she do that? and btw given that their lives keep going crazy, all the Bus Kids at this point should have learned how to do everything just to have chances -Sinara just gonna go ahead and tell them she killed his super warrior. that's... brave -will Kasius shoot his brother to protect her? -No, actually, his brother is digging it -OH MY GOD, I'M LOVING THIS TURN OF EVENTS. Sinara playing his brother so she can get out of there without Kasius. Kasius actually killing his brother, for her, which is something Sinara probably digs. Yes, yes, she's smiling, digging it. Also Kasius' face when this started. And now he's telling how it really went. They are all horrible people and I'm enjoying it. -No, you aren't build for the battlefield, you coward and creepy Kree lol -this is a Kree telenovela -is he gonna kiss her, I can feel my coffee and latte come up -yep, I'm gonna throw up even if they don't kiss -oohhh the marriage proposal bickering lol she's totally doing it on purpose and he falls for it all the time, like when she talks about magic -also wow a peck and talking about wanting alone time, this is the most we'll get in a loooooong time too -THERE IS MAY. YES. HI. -oohh a SHIELD base. at least announce yourselves so May won't have to get up on her leg like this? -ROBYN

[floralbfs]

WIP Ask Game!

thank u anon!!!!

1: Summarize your WIP in 10 words or less.

orphan gains powers, gets adopted by alien, saves the world.

2: Post a line from your WIP with no context.

'There's a whoosh of air, and Leo suddenly hears a voice he never thought he'd ever be able to hear again.'

3: Does your WIP have a title? If so, explain its significance. If not, what are you calling it for now?

Okay so I have been calling it the Youtuber Superhero AU (because it started as a fandom au but then i made it an original!!) but I thought maybe it could be "Thicker than Water", since my MC, Leo, is an orphan and he lives alone for most of his life (most of his life lmao at least until canon point? read also: around 9-11 years when in canon he's like 19?) in a remote, lowkey magical place/dimension?, but ultimately he comes back to his hometown and creates a family for himself!!!! i won't give spoilers but, since i already said this, part of his found family is his adoptive dad, an alien who is also a superhero!! If not TtW, I would call it maybe,,,,, Moonstone???? at least the first book!!! (ooh, maybe TtW can be the series name and Moonstone the first book's name?) because Leo kind of gets his powers through a moon stone????? it's not actually moon stone; it was a strange rock he found in the magical dimension that seeked out a champion for the god Huitzilopochtli??? and the closest word Leo could get for it was Moonstone, because of its uhhhhh singular qualities!

4: Describe the setting of your WIP.

OKAY, this is a fun one!!! Leo's hometown is named Star Nova, idk why it just seemed cool, and it is a futuristic city!!! They don't follow capitalism Because I Said So, and they're really into, like, environmental stuff!!! So you'd see SO much flora all over the city kshdsjfh like those???? idk what they're called but like the towns overridden with plants? but controlled!!! There's a tiny percentage of the population (tho I still haven't decided if this is worldwide?? I have a way to make it worldwide but idk) who have superpowers, either due to "individual" factors (e.g Leo's powers are bc of the moonstone, and Matthew(his dad)'s powers are due to him being an alien!) or were affected by a weird experiment an Evil Corporation™ were doing; ECtm was trying out an illegal experiment that could alter living beings' genetics to their will, but it went wrong and their substance exploded and went airborne. Those who were working on it knew about its risks and toxicity, ergo they were wearing a special suit and weren't affected, but the gas contaminated and ??mixed?? with the air and spread to the nearest city, Star Nova (the unofficial capital of the Joint Pacific Nations) and affected a Whole Lot Of People!!! this all happened a while before canon, and the corporation got away with it bc they were filthy rich basically. Anyway, a lot of the people who were affected to the "virus" reacted negatively and died, some were uhhh """immune"""???, and a few Seemed to be immune but had actually had a successful celular-level bonding with the substance! It didn't do anything to them, but their children/grandchildren were born with physical or mental anomalies, also known as super powers (gasps)!!!! BUT!!! a lot of the story happens in the magical city of Coatl (it means serpent!), located within a pocket dimension somewhere inside the Mexican southern forest, where Leo finds himself when he's four years old, recently orphaned, guided by a magical ....bird....being....? he lives there for around eleven years, and he's granted Huitzilopochtli's Champion's power once he's like. Not A Baby lmao. Coatl is.... kind of like,,,,, an Olympus, I guess? Only those with like the destiny to find it know where it is, and they can lead other people there if it's for good causes! It's almost like a sentient city, and the Aztec gods kinda. chilled there???? my theory is that a lot of religious mythologies exist, at least in this universe, and they all co-exist on earth, or pocket dimensions inside of it!!! anyway, Leo lived there and was basically raised by gods???? and an AI???? bc i love AIs???? and uhhhh i think that got away from me ajdhsjdhsj does all of this even count as setting??? am i missing anything????

5: Search for the word “knife” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

no knives sadly :( i guess i haven't reached Those Scenes yet???? tho there should be one in the first chapter….. my wip document is just kind of very messy ajdhsjdjsjdh i might just have to make a new document????

6: Search for the word “dream” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

???????????? why am i not using any words?????????? sorry :/

7: What are you most proud of?

probably the worldbuilding and characters (at least those with superpowers? maybe i should say superpowers period)!!!!! they're very complex and thought-out????? and i THINK they're original!!!!! so!!!!! ＼(￣▽￣)／

8: What is your biggest challenge?

oooooof,,,,,,,, probably..... getting an actual plot lmao????? like i have an overall view of my would-be first and second books, but i don't know if they actually have enough to them to be written as they are?????? like… idk if the conflict is really like??? worthy to be a Main Conflict™????

9: How would you describe your writing style?

oooooooh uhhhhh maybe….. flowery prose???? i'm a poet at heart, so if i don't use loads of metaphors and language uhhhh idk their name in english but language variators??? i will literally die. but seriously nsjdhsjdhsjfh nothing too serious!!!! most of my “”””angst”””” scenes are….. not so sad, i think skfjsjfj

10: How would you describe your WIP’s narrative style? (1st person, 3rd person, multiple POVs, single POV, alternating chapters, etc.)

oh!!!! well, i think it'd be multiple povs, alternating chapters, third person???? i'm still not sure whether to use 1st or if i already have??? p sure that's a different wip i'm thinking about tho

11: Which character do you have the most in common with?

uhhhhhhhhhhhh seeing how underdeveloped she is right now??? probably Persephone???? bc she's genderfluid skfjsjfjdjfh or uhhhh Scott??? bc i too love leo with my heart and would die for him and stay with him in the afterlife. (hypothetically, of course….)

12: Which character do you have the least in common with?

Maeve, probably!!!! she's, uh…. Something.

13: Your characters are stranded on a deserted island. What happens?

They Are All A Mess. akfhajfjajfj Matthew would probably become the leader and like. establish order and shit???? but he's also the hugest nerd so he'd just give the leader role to someone else (probably seph staine?) and goes exploring and cataloging shit skfhsjfhdjf Leo is probably the most resourceful one of the bunch, so he would immediately like. start planning for huts and food and stuff???? also idk if they would have their powers in this situation cause it'd be too easy to get them all out of there????? but let's just say they do but the island is inescapable by flight?? he can talk to animals, so he could communicate with the local fauna and like form alliances???? Seph is a good leader, so he'd probably like….. keep everything in check???? and Leo's friends are all good and resourceful, so they'd make a good team!!!! tldr they basically create order immediately and do their best to not struggle??? after a few days/weeks, some of them start to like. break down? but the adults are like. wise and shit??? and i'm pretty sure at least one of them is like a licensed therapist??? so they help each other out uwu

14: Have you chosen birthdays for any of your characters? If so, when are they?

oh!!!! only for a few!!!! Leo and Maeve's birthday is on March 25, Scott's birthday is on August 27, Matthew doesn't really have a birthday??? because time is different in his planet????, Percy and Persephone's birthday is somewhere in November, and uhhhh im p sure that's all i got akfjsjfjsj i suck at birth dates

15: Do you know your characters’ MBTI personalities?

GOD, no. maybe i should do their tests???👀

16: What would your characters be for Halloween?

Leo… doesn't believe in/care for Halloween, as he didn't grow up around it, but it's totally Scott's jam!!! they are dirt poor in a good first half of the book, though, so they can't really dress up :( they met in the library, and after (spoiler alert!!!) scotty's death, Leo feels it appropriate to dress up as Scott's fave characters every year. Percy and Persephone are (very weak) shapeshifters, so their costumes ROCK!!!!! they always do matching costumes, so they get cliché pair costumes!! Matthew….. uh. he is… way too old for that. he was literally alive before Halloween was even a thing, so it's not really his thing. Leah just……. does her own thing??? she can see ghosts, so she sometimes does like historical costumes and stuff with their help!!! and Ben…. oof tbh that depends on what his fave song/album/whatev is at the moment??? he kinda creates like a story/aesthetic for them and dresses up that way!!!!

17: Does your WIP have any themes or motifs?

uhhhh found family, definitely!!!! i really can't think of any bc i'm an idiot, but uhhhh intelligence??? if that's a thing??? like,,, they're all powerful and shit but it's also like. brains over brawns????

18: What’s easier, dialogue or description?

i think description!!!! neither of them are… hard??? but!!! description is like…… where i can go hog wild akfjskfjsjfb

19: Post a picture or gif that describes your WIP.

20: Post a brief excerpt.

Leo @Leoberry

You asked, I answered. New Q&A video is now up!

[3k retweets, 10k likes, 9k replies] 20 min. ago

[My First Q&A- video transcription excerpt]

[Leo Berry, a nineteen-year-old brunette guy with green eyes, wearing a red shirt with a lightning symbol on it that's loose on his muscular form, waves at the camera and smiles widely, dimples showing up on his cheeks.]

Leo: Hey, guys. You've been asking me to do a Q&A for a while, and the day has finally arrived! I told you to ask me questions on Twitter with the hashtag #AskBerry, and I've picked a few!

[Leo smiles brightly and lifts up his cellphone.]

Leo: First off, here's one by @razzberry- nice username, by the way-: “what's your cat's name? Do you have more than one?”

[The video shifts, and there's suddenly two cats sitting on Leo's arms: a large, orange cat quickly falling asleep on his shoulder, and a black kitten hugged in his arms.]

Leo: I do! This little fella-

[He gasps as the kitten in his arms struggles to get free and runs off-camera.]

Leo: Don't leave me! Okay, that little fella is Onyx, and, as you can see, he doesn't like me very much. Anyway, this little gal asleep over here…

[He points toward a small orange cat sleeping on his shoulder.]

Leo: ...is Tigress! She's my little baby. You've probably seen her around a lot on my vlogs, since she really likes to hang out on my bed.

Leo: Next! @Honeybats asked: ‘“is it true your dad is Jade?”

[Leo smiles and, after a few seconds of trying to school his features, bursts out laughing.]

Leo: You mean to ask whether my dad is Matlal Jade, the greatest superhero of our era?

Leo: ...Well, yeah! My dad- [more laughs] my dad is totally my Jade. His name is Matthew, and I keep asking him to fly me to school. He says it's not funny!

[He sobers up for a second.]

Leo: Jokes aside, he adopted me a few years ago and he'll always be a superhero in my eyes. I was in a really dark place when he found me, and I can't thank him enough for all that he's done for me.

[Leo looks away for a second and loses his smile. The video cuts and skips again, and Leo appears once again, this time sporting an easy smile and a blue shirt, this one tighter around his shoulders.]

Leo: things got a bit too deep! This one was sent by @shazhangs: “are you dating anyone at the moment?”

[Leo laughs.]

Leo: God, no. I mean, I'm not really a people person, you know? And I’ve been so focused on work, vlogging, and, uh, extracurriculars, that I really haven't had any time to socialise.

[Leo laughs again.]

Leo: This one comes from @perspartone: will you collab with any other youtubers anytime soon?

Leo: Yeah, sure! I don't think I have done any videos with other people in the past, so it'd be a fun thing to do! I just have to find a friend first.

[Leo laughs loudly.]

[End of excerpt. For viewing of the video, refer to Leo Berry on Youtube, and find the full transcription here at DailyBerries in a few hours.]

[babiewonho]

Haechan cc Anon . I hope you can asnwer me here and if you don't want to keep the sort of out of context post on your blog, I'll screenshot it so u can delete it the next day (I'm going to sleep). Thanks a lot, take good care

okay sorry take TWO…it took me a few days to get back to this bc it sapped so much energy when i typed out my first reply and then it got deleted + i have been adjusting to spring semester but i have some time now @.@ so first of all intuition wise i do not feel like he is in Danger or deeply upset. if that means anything depends completely on if u care about/trust in that sort of thing but anyways…to put you at peace somewhat

i do feel like it’s unavoidable for idols to have disordered eating at the very least if they do not eds which can obviously sometimes happen and we have seen it unfortunately. 

for the dreamies they said their diets are more preventative than restrictive as in they try to Prevent weight gain instead of trying to lose it quickly by just making the right dietary choices. i do agree dh has lost a lot of weight over the years but at the same time i think he mostly carries weight in his face and this creates the illusion of a chubby/fatter body when actually he has always been fairly slim and probably looked bigger in part bc he seems to be one of the quicker-to-develop rookies like in group pics he is like 2nd to mark before they all caught up to him. i really think his cheeks fool people (not necessarily you) into thinking his whole body is soft and chubby when he’s always been average/slim and kids having fat is normal anyways.

i’m sure he has lost some weight lately bc he has been promoting so HARD and im sure that comes at a price of not having time to eat/not eating enough/forgoing eating to sleep etc + they are doing  SO MUCH PHYSICAL ACTIVITY and must be annihilating the calories they do consume. it seems almost impossible they’d have anything but a deficit and at least maintain their slim bodies

i do agree that articles abt appearances tend to glamorize unhealthy or impossible to maintain weights like w/ w*ndy…unfortunately this is equated with goodness and perfection…imo and i dont necessarily have proof of this, i feel like dh is just someone who is Hungrier than others and maybe it takes more food for him to feel satisfied or perhaps he isn’t Hungry but just loves food. i remember on a czennies wld like this too ep taeyong and taeil were talking abt how haechan like absolutely devoured some crab and other food and like went into a trance and definitely overate and regretted it meanwhile some ppl like renjun are naturally super slim and they admittedly dont eat as much bc they just dont feel like it/arent as hungry/food isnt as appealing to them as others. i think that’s kind of the case with dh and think he has to diet harder than the others to compensate for that tendency to binge or just overeat carelessly (which is concerning and disordered but i feel like all idol’s diets are and that is just an unfortunate thing about the industry) but at the same time i do feel like some idols eat fairly normally?? even chenle seems to just eat the way he wants and doesnt seem very unhappy, but then again i am only on the outside

as for his weight gain it definitely makes sense bc his mom has been cooking him a lot of food/probably got concerned at his skinny idol appearance/hc has lost the ability to exercise to burn off excess calories he may be consuming. it’s the perfect equation for weight gain. i think bc of his health issue they will try to ease him back into it. i genuinely do think that and i think he will go on a diet to prepare but there’s just no way they can make him lose it all at once when he will be slowly regaining mobility anyways. it might even be the case that when he is removed from that environment where he is probably being lovingly encouraged to overeat and rest that the weight will come off on its own as he stops eating in excess and returns to a more normal portion size, at least returns to his body’s comfortable weight. at the very least it’s a good thing he got to be well nourished in this time and relax!

i understand that it feels like there is a lot of fixation on his body. personally i feel like a big part of this is bc actually a lot of dh stans like to victimize him and while i am not saying that nothing bad ever happens to him or they’re being unreasonable i think when you see so many people talking abt injustices that may or may not be ACTUALLY happening it is hard not to be concerned. i have heard ppl propose that he has an ed like hundreds of times and that’s why i pay close attention to him, but it’s hard to determine what is overly worrying and what is just like…the standard disordered eating of an idol. as someone with an ed myself he doesn’t raise any HUGE red flags for me even though i do and always will keep an eye on him esp bc he is so young. i think he is mostly okay for now genuinely.

we cannot control the future or even know for sure of course but i hope we can both just take comfort in the fact that at present he is sitting at home eating yummy food and being with his family and gaming

[lentils-writes]

Day 12: Arranged marriage AU with this prompt that I found: 

okay but like two friends getting married for cheaper tution like hah we are geniuses this is a fool proof plan and we are completely platonic everything is fine haha i didnt just notice how beautiful your eyes are and how soft your hair feels LOVING THIS CHEAPER TUITION EVERYTHING IS FINE

(I am SO SORRY this is late I got very carried away I like pining ok)

Kara checks her phone on the bus home and, of course, there’s a text from Melinda. That’s not weird; they text each other every day. What is weird is that it’s just a link to an article and the headline is “Get Married, Save Thousands on Tuition.”

Kara opens the article, skims it, and then replies.

??? what do u mean by this article???

I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.

it’s rly not

explain pls

Well, we both got into U of C, right?

yeah...

But I’m a California resident and you’re not. You’ll gonna be paying an extra twenty grand since you’re out-of-state. If we get legally married, you’ll count as a resident.

Kara feels her face getting hot and glances around to make sure no one is looking at her.

UM

what r u saying

It wouldn’t be a real marriage, calm down. Just so we get tax breaks and lower tuition. I think we could even qualify for the family housing if we’re lucky. It’s way cheaper than the dorms.

wow ur moving kinda fast there

we haven’t even gone on a real date :P

Hey, I took you to see Jupiter Ascending when you were here during winter break last year!

i don’t think that counts

we got kicked out

YOU got us kicked out for laughing too loud!

Anyway, sorry if this is weird. We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought it might be funny.

it is pretty funny

i gotta think about it tho

No worries. Practice starting, bye

Kara stares at her phone for a long moment, thinking. It’s not that she cares that much about marriage or thinks of it as this super important sacred symbol of love or anything. It’s something she’s thought a little more about since New Mexico legalized it when she was a freshman, and then again since the Supreme Court decision last year, but she’s in high school. The idea of falling in love and getting married is so far from her reality that she almost can’t imagine it.

Plus, it’s Melinda. Melinda is the most important person in her life - ever since they met three years ago on Tumblr, Kara’s spent hours talking to Melinda, becoming closer to her than she’s ever been to anyone else. She has friends at school (Alex, Sara, Zoe), but she’s always felt weirdly alienated from the rest of her classmates. Melinda likes to listen to her talk about Greek mythology and weapons history and all the other weird shit that most people find confusing or just too weird. Melinda makes her feel normal. So maybe marrying her best friend for a few years, and then divorcing a few years later, wouldn’t be the worst thing. Especially if the benefits are really that good.

---

Kara’s mom is weirdly supportive. “I know you and Melinda are close,” she says. “And you’re eighteen, I can’t stop you. I just don’t want you to get hurt. Be careful not to take it too seriously, okay?”

Kara hugs her mom and rolls her eyes. “I won’t, Mom,” she says. “We probably won’t even sleep in the same bed or anything.”

When she Skypes Melinda to accept her “proposal,” Melinda smirks. “I told my parents. Dad thinks it’s weird, but he likes the idea of not having to file my taxes for me. Mom lectured me for half an hour in Mandarin about and then said, ‘At least you’ll have someone to look after you, keep you out of trouble.’”

Kara giggles. “Tell her I’ll try?”

“Please. I’m the one that keeps you out of trouble,” teases Melinda. “So, I guess now we’d better figure out how courthouse weddings work. Can you come a couple days early so we can do the ceremony?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Kara nods. “We haven’t booked plane tickets or anything yet. I haven’t even really started packing.”

“Oh, and we should probably get rings. Doesn’t have to be fancy ones, just to keep up the facade. You might even be able to find something at Claire’s.”

“Yeah, I can do that. Can I stay at your place the extra couple days?”

“I’ll have to ask my parents, but probably that’s fine. They like you. As much as they like anyone, I mean.” Melinda chuckles. “I think you being a girl is helping. Mom’s never been that weird about my girlfriends, but I’m pretty sure she thinks it doesn’t really count unless I’m with a guy.”

Kara snorts and rolls her eyes. “Well, either way, it’s only four years. Then you can go off and marry a nice doctor or whatever they want you to do.”

“No, not a doctor. A lawyer. Not that I’m planning on marrying either one. Maybe not at all. You might be it.”

Kara mock-flinches. “So much pressure! I could sour you on the concept of marriage forever.”

“You could,” teases Melinda. “Okay, I have an essay to write for AP history. Later.”

“Bye,” says Kara, signing off. She has homework too, but instead of working on it she finds herself opening a new tab and going to Target’s jewelry section. Just for laughs, of course.

(The one she ends up picking out, and taking the bus to get the next day, is silver and has two curving lines that cross over each other, with a line of clear gems set into one of the lines. It sort of reminds Kara of an infinity symbol - ironic, but it’s fifteen dollars and won’t look too cheap.)

---

Neither Kara nor Melinda opt to wear white dresses to the courthouse. Melinda because Kara’s pretty sure she doesn’t own a single dress, and Kara because she doesn’t own anything white. She wears her favorite red summer dress and a sapphire necklace her mom insisted she take. Melinda wears a button-up shirt and her nice leather jacket. Kara’s starting to feel like maybe the necklace is too much, but Melinda smiles at her and says, “It brings out your eyes.” Kara says thank you and then laughs, and she’s not sure why.

They mostly spend the time waiting to be called in for the ceremony teasing each other about who’s going to do what. “I don’t bake,” Kara says, “so forget about coming home to fresh-baked cookies.”

“You should make us that pasta salad your mom gave you the recipe for, though,” Melinda says. “That sounds amazing.”

“If you rub my shoulders after dinner?”

“Deal.”

The officiant seems to take their giggly familiarity for actual romantic affection, and the ceremony takes only a few minutes. Kara expects it to feel more important than it does, but before she knows it Melinda is slipping the ring on her finger and pulling her in for a quick kiss at the end of the vows. It’s over before Kara can really absorb it’s happening.

They hold hands out of the courthouse, and Melinda grins over at her. “So,” she says. “How’s it feel?”

Kara shrugs, grinning back. “Totally normal.”

“Good,” Melinda says. “I guess maybe we should’ve practiced kissing first, but he didn’t seem suspicious.”

Kara shrugs. “I dunno. I think it was fine.” She hasn’t been kissed in a long time, not since early junior year when she and Beth broke up. She just hasn’t really had time to worry about finding anybody else.

They go get ice cream and shoot each other secret smiles. Kara eats a chunk of her coffee ice cream and stares at the little silver ring on her finger. It’ll take some getting used to.

---

They get a tiny one-bedroom apartment in the family housing complex, which is way nicer than the dorms even if it doesn’t come with furniture. Melinda’s parents help them buy a cheap bed frame and mattress. “Having only one bed saves money,” Lian May says, when May tries to protest. “And there won’t be enough room for two in this tiny place.”

Melinda makes a face at Kara behind her mother’s back, but Kara just shrugs. It’s not like she hasn’t slept in the same bed as other girls before. It’s no big deal.

There’s a ton of orientation activities for them to go to, but they end up skipping out halfway through and going home to order a pizza and watch Netflix. “I guess we could’ve said we were gonna go Netflix and chill,” teases Kara.

Melinda rolls her eyes and bumps her shoulder. “Dork.”

Kara gets a job in the admissions office, and Melinda ends up working at the on-campus gym. Classes start, and they fall into a routine. They switch off cooking every other night, except if someone has a group meeting or evening lecture and then there are usually leftovers in the fridge. They get invited to a few parties and wave at their neighbors and get pretty good at the whole acting-married thing. Kara finds that the story of how they met doesn’t actually need that much editing; people seem to find it adorable. She meets Bobbi in her intro to human biology class, who tells her about the on-campus LGBT+ society (which, apparently, had had a booth at the clubs fair that they skipped) and gives her her number to hang out later. (Kara tries not to laugh out loud; go figure the only time another queer girl’s ever given her her number, it’s in a totally platonic context.)

And then, a month and a half into the school year, Kara has to consider that she might be falling in love with her “wife.”

Or at least she definitely wants to bone her. She figures that out one night when Melinda’s taking a bath and Kara barges into the bathroom to pee (nothing new, they’ve been doing that since the first week here) and notices, holy shit, Melinda has incredible boobs.

Melinda is reading and, when she notices Kara staring, she looks at her, puzzled. “What?”

“Uh,” says Kara, quickly looking away. “Nothing. Just wondering what you were reading.”

“Just a book for European History. You alright? You seem nervous.”

“I’m fine!” Kara says, too abrupt.

(She ends up having some confusing sexy dreams that night, and luckily Melinda has an early class the next morning and she doesn’t. Once Melinda leaves, she gets herself off quickly and hopes maybe that will be the end of it. Maybe it was just her body needing an orgasm.)

(It wasn’t.)

After that, she starts noticing other things: how shiny Melinda’s hair is in the sunlight, how satisfying it is to make her laugh or smile, how strong her hands are. About a week and a half after the bath incident, Melinda offers to give her a shoulder rub and Kara’s heart starts beating so fast she’s sure Melinda can hear it. But she just nods, and it turns out Melinda’s hands are amazingly strong. Kara probably makes some embarrassing noises, but Melinda doesn’t say anything about it, just smirks and says, “Glad you’re enjoying it.”

“I’m just really tense,” mutters Kara, blushing.

“Hey, I get it. My algebra prof is being a pain in the ass and assigning a ton of homework.” Melinda smiles sympathetically at her. “Anytime you need another one lemme know, okay?”

“Th-thanks,” says Kara. “I can try to do it for you too?”

Melinda shrugs. “Sure.” She shucks off her shirt and turns her back to Kara. “You ever done this before?”

“A couple times,” says Kara, “but I don’t think my hands are as strong as yours.” She starts kneading May’s shoulder muscles anyway.

“Mm, this is fine,” hums Melinda. “Thank you.”

Kara tries really hard to do a good job, and also not to notice how soft Melinda’s skin is.

---

Finally she can’t take it anymore and texts Bobbi to meet up with her for lunch. Bobbi’s probably her closest friend on campus (besides Melinda), she can trust her with her secret.

“Hey,” Bobbi says when she arrives at Teriyaki Madness, setting down her styrofoam container full of food and sitting across from Kara. “What’s up?”

Kara purses her lips and then finally says, “It’s kind of a long story, but it has to do with me and Melinda.”

“You’re not really a couple, are you?” Bobbi asks.

Kara’s so startled all she can do is squeak, “Um.”

“Dude, I figured out you guys were faking it like the third time we all hung out together. You guys are obviously super close, but when you hold hands or hug or kiss you’re so awkward. Like, I’ve had friends that were in LDRs and when they were together you couldn’t pry them apart. Not you guys.” Bobbi raises an eyebrow. “I mean, I’m guessing you got married for tuition, right? Mad props. My last ex wanted to do that but I knew we’d end up divorced in six months.”

Kara puts her face in her hands and groans. “Is it that obvious?”

“I mean, I dunno. I’m pretty perceptive. I think probably most people aren’t thinking that much about it. But anyway, what did you wanna talk to me about? You guys okay other than, y’know, not actually being a couple?”

“Um,” says Kara. “Well.” She stares at her soda, unsure of how to say I wanna have sex with my best friend-slash-wife and also I might be falling in love with her?

Bobbi looks at her for a second. “You’re not like, in trouble, are you?”

“No, no! I mean. I’m okay, I just…” Kara swallows and then mutters “ImightbeintoherIthinkmaybe.”

At that, Bobbi laughs, then slaps a hand over her mouth. “Jeez, sorry, that was mean,” she says, but she’s still grinning. “So you, what, figured out you like her now?”

“I guess,” says Kara, eating a piece of chicken. “She’s...we’ve been best friends for three years, she’s the person I know best in the world. Maybe I should’ve seen this coming.”

Bobbi shrugs and replies, “Hey, just ‘cause you’re close with someone doesn’t mean you’re gonna wanna bone them. Izzy and I practically grew up together and I can’t imagine being into her, she’s like my sister. If I had a really hot sister, I guess. But I’m not interested in her that way. Anyway. What are you gonna do about it?”

“I don’t know!” says Kara. “What am I supposed to do? ‘Hey, best friend who I’m legally married to, I’m thinking maybe I actually wanna date you and not just pretend, how do you feel about that?’ That’s so weird.” She sighs. “This is stupid.”

Shaking her head, Bobbi says, “It’s not. You really just need to talk to her about it. I know it’s gonna be weird, but if she’s not into you too, then you guys can talk about you like, dating other people. Or you can come over and I’ll buy you a shitton of ice cream and we’ll watch dumb movies. Whatever you need.”

“Or I could just never say anything,” Kara says. But she makes a face and nods. “Thanks for listening.”

“Hey, no worries.” Bobbi pauses and then adds, “Listen, if she’s not down for whatever, I’m also available for a friends-with-benefits thing, if you want.” She gives Kara an exaggerated wink.

Kara snorts. “I’ll think about it.”

---

It takes Kara a week to figure out what she wants to say, and then another week to figure out the right time to say it, which means that once she’s finally gotten up the guts it’s midterms week and she and Melinda are so busy they barely see each other. Then after midterms she waits a week or two just to be sure, and then it’s the week before Thanksgiving and it would just be weird to make things weird before Thanksgiving, so she waits some more. (She ends up going home with Melinda and meeting many members of her extended family. To them, she’s just Melinda’s roommate, which is okay. It’s kind of nice to not have to pretend.)

And then it’s the holiday season.

Bobbi’s taken it upon herself to badger Kara about talking to Melinda give-or-take once a week, and by this point she’s just texting stuff like DONE YET? in all-caps. You have to tell her sometime!!!! Bobbi writes. You can’t just NOT!!!!!

u wanna bet

You’re going to die of blue balls or something!

i don’t think that’s possible, bob

and i don’t even have balls

Ok maybe not but seriously, this is ridiculous

Finally, one night they’re watching a movie and Kara blurts out, “I have to talk to you about something.”

Melinda pauses the movie and glances over at her. “What’s up? You okay?”

“Yes. No. I mean-” Kara sighs. “It’s embarrassing.”

Melinda looks even more confused. “What do you mean?”

Kara bites her lip. “I...I like you.”

“Oh.” Melinda just looks at her for a moment.

Kara’s starting to get progressively more anxious and angry with herself when Melinda adds, “Well, good, ‘cause I was trying to figure out how to tell you that I’m into you. It seemed like a bad romance novel cliche.”

Kara laughs, maybe a little hysterically. “Wait, how long have you been…?”

Melinda coughs. “This whole plan may or may not have been my way of trying to tell you.”

“Mel, oh my god! It’s been months! Why didn’t you-”

“Same reason you didn’t,” Melinda says, nudging her with her shoulder. “Too chickenshit to say something.”

“Shit,” says Kara, putting her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know - I’ve been stressing since like before Halloween about this! I told Bobbi and she’s been bugging me to tell you!”

“Oh, Bobbi knows?” Melinda snorts. “Great. So we’ll never hear the end of that.”

“Well, I usually tell you about this stuff, but I couldn’t! Oh my god.” Kara laughs again. “So I guess...now we get to figure out how to date for real?”

“I guess,” Melinda says. “You wanna make out for real?”

“Oh my god, yes.”

(Bobbi never does let them live it down. And they don’t get divorced after the four years are up.)

[ts-2020-olympics]

Episode 13 - “Put On My Villain Attire” - Sammy

This week was a lot, I made a mistake socially that hurt someone, and i couldnt be more disgusted or hurt with myself tonight. I feel awful for what i said about nicole, after tribal i cryed like a kid on call with sammy and Caeleb. Reaching out to nicole was hard because i dont want her to think im coming to say sorry as a game move. I respect nicole as a person, as a player, and I made a mistake, and it was time for me to own up to making a personal comment in context that should not have been personal. Now getting that out of the way, this week was crazy, the vote was Tommy, then Jacob, Then nicole, cut to tribal Nicole is excused from tribal, which im thankful for because i actually got to reach out to nicole after to say sorry for my comment.  Getting a response was the last thing I expected from her. And it made me happy to get one, especially such an understanding one that came from her realizing that was not my intentions. Game wise going forward, im aware theres cracks in this alliance and im not 100% safe. But im gonna ride it till i cant no more. I don't want to think game tonight but obviously i need to keep thinking about the game. Immunity wise, i dont think its necessity that I need to win, Even after I had a blow up and such i still feel like those in the game understand how hard it was for me tonight and my truth of how i didnt mean to hurt nicole. I still feel the most close to Sammy and Caeleb, they where there for me tonight after tribal while a cried, so was Kevin and Emma, idealy these people are the people I want there with me at the end of the game. In other news, Darcy has exposed himself as someone who has voted out sammy, meaning the list of people who need to go before I need to start backstabbing gets longer Stoner, Tommy, Nicole and Darcy are IDEALLY the next 4 boots, but u never know what will happen in this game! I could be working with Nicole next round for all I know. ANYWAYS TLDR: Im sorry, me and nicole are fine, im in a good place in this game. Thank u for coming to this LONG ASS confessional. 

im dying, so its been fun toodaloo 

Actually feeling very frustrated atm. I wanted this immunity so bad. The way Nicole plays this game is very frustrating and I’d love to see the way she actually plays the real game. Is she just gonna sit under the hut and ignore everyone that approaches her. She just lies about everyone and the minute someone does something against her she cries in her host chat. I’m usually not a mean person but she deserves to be the villain of this season. I literally have always looked up to Nicole as a player bc I have seen how genuine and kind she can be. But this game has really tossed out how i viewed her as a player. As a person sure she’s great but there’s a way to play this game by having good character. I would hate to see me leave before Nicole but if it happens and she makes it to the finals that’s okay but she won’t have my vote poor management. Anyways don’t wanna make my whole confessional about Nicole since she’s made the whole game revolve around her actions already. I’d like to personally shoutout Jordan caeleb and Eve in this confessional. Truly are the rays of sunshine in this game. I have my doubts about Kevin, Emma, and Darcy because I think that they have connections to Nicole. Someone is playing everyone and it’s so frustrating. I was so close to winning this immunity. I need to survive. Also I am very annoyed that caeleb has not had to stress a single round since merge. Yeah he’s my closest ally but like it’s annoying i want someone else like me to be immune and i know it’s selfish but it’s just annoying. I need to figure this out. I might have to put on my villain attire for this round. 

IMMUNITY? IMMUNITY? I HAVE THAT? Oh my god I think this may be like the first immunity I've actually one in the history of my Tumblr Survivor career (although checking the records there was one time I was just like individually immune for no reason during Seychelles premerge and I do not remember why) I needed this SO BAD, and even better is everyone is PISSED at me for winning, nobody can figure out where I figured out all the colors and it's SOOOOOOOOO FUNNY god bless, long live the underdog bayyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 

Okay, so here goes.   To start off my confessional for this round, that past tribal really was a mess.  Nicole played a tribal skip, so she survived, which was a good play on her part, but it led to some messy scrambles, and ended up losing probably my closest friend in this game (Love you Jacob <3,)  I ended up voting in minority with Jacob to keep my word, even though I knew majority was on Jacob.   In this game though, you got to take risks, and if the risk of keeping my word to my good friend outside this game ends up being my downfall, then so be it.   However, one isn't going to win by playing it safe every round and voting with majority all the time, you got to vote in minority at times too and try to at least make some bold moves, to get out the threats, otherwise, you might as well just give them the money, as those players would all make finals, and one of them would win.  Then where would the sheep be?   They would be at the jury, alongside those who they voted out.   Now, terms of this round, Nicole and I are trying to come together to split up the power trio of Eve, Caeleb and Sammy.   Plan is to try getting out Eve, as Eve has everyone basically wrapped around their finger, which I do not like, and I think Eve has the best chance of winning this game if they make it to the end, so yea Eve has to go.   I've also been hearing though, and sounds of things, Emma is wanting me out, and her reason I think is pretty well just because I haven't been voting with her.  It's like, I have only been to 3 tribals so far with Emma (4 if you count this one,)  and I voted with her the one tribal against Karen, then other tribal was just because I wanted to be loyal to my friend, and keep my word.   The first time though, was because I found the other person more threatening to my game.   Anyways, I am fighting my all right now to stay, and not going to back down, but if I end up going, so be it, I know I played a great game, and am glad with everything about it.   Pitching to people though that I'm not threatening at all, I literally have 0 moves on my resume at the moment, and how I just want to try beating 7th, because as of currently, 7th is my best placement.   Here goes nothing, and hopefully cards fall right, and Eve gets slain.

I’m kind of feeling hopeless after this round. Nobody actually wants to make the moves that need to be made, nobody wants to do anything actually smart. People are just being so short-sighted and playing for jury. Eve has an ego and will use it to make you believe that it’s her way or the highway. I feel like any cast with more than three braincells amongst them could really do something but, they won’t. Caeleb will win immunity yet again next round. I’ll go, then one by one they’ll go. I really just like, have no energy to guide these dummies to anywhere anymore. I’m tired. Even with immunity people are just ridiculously fake and annoying. 

I think Emma is the plan for tonight. She's playing a double agent type of game which is super dangerous and people are starting to see through it plus me and her don't have the best past so I'm fine with Emma going. It gets me to the Final 10 and gets me one step closer to the Final Tribal Council. I also think once Emma goes I'll be nobodies #1 target and that'll put me in a good position for next vote as long as Nicole doesn't win immunity again. Although who knows things switch around in this game so fast and it could be me going home because if Emma gets wind of her name being out there I see her coming for me just because of our past and I do think there is viable reason for people to flip their votes onto Me, if Emma campaigns for me to go. I'm hoping my name doesn't get dragged into the conversation and it just stays between Emma, Eve, and Darcy so I have no chance of going home tonight. I'm just gonna lay low after this bit of strategy talk but be around if the wind starts to shift onto me.

Fuck I’m not home and don’t want a stike this will be a quick confessional, Sammy I’m so fucking sorry about this but you have such a good social game and I need you gone to free up the field. Formed an alliance with Darcy today that was random but now I actually trust him which is wierd. Still fucking people over with Nicole it’s crazy how that’s working. Next round is final 10 o need to make it past it or I might cry, once I pass that hurdle I’ve never heard passed I’m good. 9th- 1st no bitter Jordan pines, don’t get me wrong though, 1st is still most preferred and it’s seeming achievable

Bye bye Sammy 

Ahh I have to turn my phone off and can't find confessional but my confessional is that I hate myself for voting Sammy 

I ate dinner, We're doing Sammy. Maybe these people have four brain cells instead of three. I however, still just have the one bumping around in my ear canal saying I might have a chance to win the game which is in fact, the stupidest thought I've had this whole round.

well well well....this round is a BIG OLE MESS, so i went into it last night thinking the vote was gonna be emma because she was leaking to nicole, but then i woke up and i guess the vote is on darcy, but Nicole tried to pull a vote on eve but because emma was involved and very loose lipped I would not have felt comfortable hiding that for almost 5 hours, so i told eve LOL.... but that built my trust up with eve and I thought it would make eve doubt emma even more but instead it seems to have made her want to keep her? which maybe means emma leaked the vote already?? which would be a good thing for me because then i didnt try to hide info that eve already knew, but so then that landed the vote primarily on darcy but honestly if darcy goes home this game is likely in the bag for eve, so I had to come up with something quick ! I have no idea if this is gonna go through but i put all my energy into selling this sarah vote like it was the end all be all move for us to make, when i dont think it is but if sarah can go home then the 5some that im viewing as Sammy/Caeleb/Eve/Jordan/Sarah would be down to 4 meaning theres wiggle room at the final 10 to potentially make a power move on a big player, without them being able to stay 5 solid and threaten rocks. They all seemed kinda hesitant but came around so im nervous, eve also asked for a back up plan which I said could be stoner, but the fact that she asked makes me nervous that shes gonna try to pull a fast one and be like "I think sarah has an idol we need to flip it !!!!!" which would be annoying but i wouldn't put it past eve. This also keeps all my potential numbers in those being nicole and then tommy/darcy emma and stoner, again IF this goes through, i could've lost darcy but then i just a 5v5 or if emma gets bold then a 6v4 and im powerless again. I think this was where i need to make a move and i hope it goes through but if it doesn't at least i tried !!!

I think tonight the night ladies, TONIGHT THE NIGHT I AM RELEASED, i mean if not sarah goes home and its whatever. I love love sarah and feel bad for blindsiding her like this. But I have confidence in Kevins decision here, hes trusted me, I have to trust him now.