#thank you for giving this arguably new blog some attention <3

[thumpersdae]

tl;dr im changing the way i post my own artwork here, by having a goal of one (1) piece a week, posted on different days depending on what i have made. also im going to start to bring more attention to some of my other social medias. heres a helpful chart:

(more details under the cut)

So i've had a dedicated art blog on tumblr for a couple years now, and ive decided that maybe i could like, use it as a way to be better about making consistently.

basically, my issues with making and posting things in the past were me having issues figuring out how to pace my actual making in a way that is sustainable, and then also that creates these peaks/valleys in attention that i get for my work that are surprisingly frustrating. this made like 70% of this whole process emotionally uncomfortable at best, witch is a pretty uncool stat for a hobby im doing because i love it.

so now, instead of just posting whenever i have anything, i will be posting one piece of art a week. what day of the week it is will depend on the content of the thing im working on. ideally this will make it easier for me to manage doing at least one thing creative each week, without falling into the manic sort of "ive been awake for 28 hours and need to finish this and get 100000's of reblogs or ive failed" feelings i tend to get into.

also ive decided to start trying to be better about cross-posting and self promotion. ive had a Red-bubble for almost as long as ive had this tumblr and im going to try and be better about getting my more polished original work there. my Youtube has a couple AMVs and fan videos, theres not much, but i find it's a good place to keep animations, and i will be continuing to post similar things there. Ao3 is arguably the place i add to the most, ive been writing fics on and off there for 8 years, and will try to be better letting people here know when new things are up there.

also i have 2 new sites that im going to start working on. i started a Ko-fi because it felt silly not giving people the chance to support me if they wanted to be incredibly generous. i dont really expect anyone to contribute but you miss 100% of the free coffees you dont ask for (or something). also ive also built an OnlyFans, im planning on posting all of the visual art i will be posting on tumblr there for free, with the occasional paid post with more nsfw themes for people willing to pay for that sort of thing.

so thank you for reading about my update, i hope this means you'll see my stuff more regularly in the coming weeks. take care <3

[thewritingginger]

Obey Me! Brothers React: Baby?!?

This is a VERY old request that I actually found I had when scrolling through my blog lol

I liked it so much so I did the thing. It also gives some fluff between all the sin I have in my WIPs 

Enjoy~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer:

Probably the calmest out of the bunch

“Are you okay?” “I’m prepared to take responsibility and make sure you’re happy.”

Makes sure you have your doctor appointments and goes with you

Very attentive to your needs

Over all he is pretty organized and prepared . . . on the outside

On the inside he’s a bit of a hoverer, but never too obvious. Just kinda stands to the side and observes,”just in case” you are carrying precious cargo afterall

Also he won't say it outloud but seeing your growing belly makes his pride shine the most and very territorial of you more than usual You are his and everyone will know

Kinda low-key didn’t not-not try to impregnate you but you didn’t hear that from me…

You and lucifer ended up having a Baby Boy Great another boy in the house

“Am I just destined to be surrounded by boys my whole life?” “I can always try to give you a girl. Just tell me when.” 😉

Yeah you’ll probably wait a year or two to actually plain for another baby, that is if Lucifer doesn’t “if it happens it happens”you again and BOOM baby #2 smh

Not as strict as one may think when thinking of Lucifer’s parenting style

Mammon definitely has something to say about that 

Does like to try and keep to a daily schedule of when they not just eat and sleep but also scheduled play and study time when they get to that age

Mammon:

He may need an ambulance

JK but he is a bit of a nervous wreck

Wait till he finds how birth works

But after the initial shock he is still worried about you

Maybe a bit overbearing

“Mammon, I can walk! I’m pregnant, not crippled.” “What? I can’t carry you around for no reason now?”

You end up having a Baby Girl

Cue panic mode!

Must protect baby girl at all costs Daddy mode engaged!

“My Love, you don’t have to watch her all night. She’ll be fine.” “I don’t know that!”

That dad that gets upsetty spaghetti if a “snot-nosed brat” messes with his perfect daughter on the playground

Leviathan:

Levi.exe has stopped working

Try turning off and turning on and try again later

Wasn’t ready for you to say it

I mean sure you guys do do the do, bUt hOw?!?!?

“Can we go back?” “Levi this isn’t a video game level.”

Don’t get him wrong he’s not mad just scared!

He’ll get into it after he has time to process it 

“I guess it would be nice to have another player when your busy.”

Started “practicing” with a life simulator game

You and Levi had a baby boy!

Games galore! 

When your little boy is still a baby obviously he can’t play video games with Levi but Levi has surprisingly really liked playing peek-a-boo

You do find Levi with your son on his chest as he plays video games most of the time when he’s watching him 

Satan:

Is about tied with Lucifer on the calm factor

Actually knew before you told him

“How the heck did you know, I just told you.” “Your period was late.”

Read all the books he can find on parenting and newborns in both humans and demons

You kinda wished he didn’t read so much because it went from ‘just wanting to cover all bases’ to being a bit of a worry wart and always “helping” you and “informing” you

Can you say Papa Bear!!! VERY protective!!!

Will damn near bite someone's head off if they bump into you especially w/o apologizing

Reads and/or plays music for the baby every night

“They say they can start to hear and recognize things in the womb at about 18-24 weeks. I have so many books I’d want to show them so might as well start early.”

Finds himself talking to and kississing your belly when your asleep late at night

“I promise I’m gonna make sure I’m the best Dad for you!”

Does touch your belly though everytime he kisses you

You and Satan had a Baby Girl

Truely a Daddy’s girl! She definitely has him wrapped around her little finger

He denies it but it’s true lol

Checks under the bed for “the scaries” every time she asks 

“You know Daddy will always protect you!”

Obviously the one to teach her to read and write. Making sure they get at least 30 mins of reading time together where they take turns

You’ve walking into the library many times to see Satan laying on the couch with your daughter on his chest, both asleep

At some point he finally admitted to you that he’s scared to “let her go”

He wants his baby girl to be his baby forever but he knows sadly she has to grow up but he hopes that when that happens they still have their book discussions and reading time together

It’s how he bonds with her the most.

Okay. Okay. I’ll stop cuz we should know I love Daddy Satan so I’ll stop before i get out of hand lol

Asmodeus:

OMG A NEW DOLL TO DRESS UP!!!

Ok but really he is excited

“With my charm and your cuteness, this child is gonna be the most sought after person in devildom.”

The day you told him he started preparing their room. Filling the room with bins of stuffed animals and toys

And clothes. Lots and lots of clothes.

“Asmo we don’t even know the gender yet.” “That’s ok! What ever we don’t use I guess we’ll just have to make another for those.”

He is gonna be in for a rude awakening literally when the baby comes

Say goodbye to your beauty sleep Asmo 

You and Asmo had a Baby Girl

When he found out you were having a girl, demon lord help this new doll baby

Dress up everyday 

Loves parading her around in his arms or the stroller

“Excuse me, Princess coming through!” 

Beelzebub:

Telling him you were pregnant made him really happy!!!

“I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.” “You’ll be the best mother.”

Of course he was nervous but he had you and you always knew how to make him feel better

And when the stress of the actual baby came up he just focused on what he did know

Snacks. Snacks. & more Snacks!!!

Your pregnancy cravings were arguably the easiest part of your pregnancy for him because he was always down to go get them for you it also gave him an excuse to get more snacks for himself too and he got to try all your favorite snacks and weird concoctions you’d want.

You and Beel had surprise, surprise. Twins!!!! Fraternal Twins to be exact, a boy and a girl

One baby was scary enough but, multiply it by two!?!? Oh nelly.

But Beel really has a way to calm you.

Divide and conquer is your modo

He’ll bathe and clothe them and you feed them Beel has helped with the feeding but somehow the food seems to disappear rather fast and the rest you share and tag in and out of

Belphegor:

Baby?!?!?

I’m sorry. He must have heard you wrong.

Maybe he is still asleep and this is a dream

But nope. It’s not! You are tellin his face that he had accidentally put a … baby… inside you…

“Are you really pregnant?” “Yup” “I’m telling you right now I’m getting rid of it if it interferes with my sleep.”

Yeah… that didn’t happen :)

He lost sleep, yes. But although annoyed he was even shocked with how attached?!? He was to the child

Oh you had a boy!

You thanked the heavens for not “gifting” you with twins

A plus is your little boy takes after his father when it comes to sleep

Altho he’s still a baby so restless nights are still very much in your future 

Belphie gifted him his very own special pillow :3 He was sick of his kid stealing/hogging his

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I kinda went into them as parents bit oops  I got too excited lol

Maybe I can do more Daddy AUs in the future if that’d interest anyone.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I really liked writing it.  I can’t be the only one obviously that really likes Daddy AUs :3

I love the fluff and I hope you do too :D

~ Undateables Reactions ~

💛 ~

[pyroreadscomics]

TAG 9 PEOPLE YOU WANT TO KNOW BETTER:

(I love doing theses things btw) I was tagged by @gothamstreetcat (thanks btw). Don't know what the etiquette is for when someone tags a side blog but, shrug, I'll keep this here. (BTW if you do want my main blog i'm @pyrocortex)

1. Favorite piece of clothing you own? If it still fit me it would be that steampunk-y vest with actual tails, however it's probably the black and red dress with the flower pattern (It's my goth phase and i get to decide when it ends, which is never)

2. Your comfort food?

Homemade baked goods. It doesn't specifically matter what, the comfort comes from the baking.

3. Favorite time of year?

Autumn is just generally aces but Halloween month is that extra good stuff.

4. Favorite song?

Depending on mood: Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths, Adrianne by Orion Experience, Burning for You by Blue Oyster Cult, or Misanthropic Druken Loser by Days N Daze

5. Do you collect something?

Currently Nothing (except prephaps comics about Catwoman and D&D minis). previously? Stamps, coins, pretty rocks, MTG and Pokemon trading cards, legos, stuffed animals almost all when i was really young and didn't understand how "collecting" worked (like, secondary markets were a mystery to me, i just came across neat things and hoarded them like a dragon)

6. Favorite drink?

Hot Chocolate. Because the winter is cold, chocolate is tasty, and alcoholism seems like zero fun.

7. Favorite Fanfiction (if you are comfortable to share)

Sure, why not. Though given some of the fanfics that have most stuck with me are for fandoms tied to media properties i don't feel like giving even the most minor attention, or just fandoms i'm not willing to admit being a part of. That said Current favourite is: Red Robin Hood by Candlebreak (Batman) Which is not done, but damn if it not well written (and well constructed, and with thematic death). Plot tl;dr, Under the Hood AU where Jason kidnaps Tim after their fight in the tower and the entire bat family mobilizes to try to get him back. It's kinda really fucking dark in places (arguably no one in this story is in a mentally healthy place even before Tim got kidnapped) but... damn it's good. Also some previous favs which i'm willing to admit possibly do not hold up it's been a while since i've read these: Better Angels of Our Nature by bzarcher (Widowtracily, Overwatch), which one hand, Blizzard sucks as a company and by all reports overwatch currently sucks as a game, on the other hand... cute lesbian polycule working through trauma together (I'd say it doesn't quite hold up through the ending, but it's still solid). and legit, the first fanfic I think I ever read (which I found on Deviantart): Jane and Amelia 1: A Cry for Help (along with the rest of that series) by Firefall Bangenthump. Which is a crossover between's Disney's Tarzan and Treasure Planet, that ships Captain Amelia and Jane Porter together... And while it's been, probably more than half of a decade since i've read these, I do remember it being pretty good (and also it kinda just logged itself in my brain and hasn't left since). I have no explanation, or justification, save for the fact i was barely a teenager. On reflection it's probably weird that i can't think of any truly stand out fanfics for what I'd consider my biggest media obessions, (Cybersix, Discworld, the Vorkosigan saga, Catwoman). but also I will admit to not having done a through search (plus it's like, With discworld the vorkosigan saga and catwoman there's a mountain of official content, and full read throughs of any of those could take weeks (but more likely months or maybe even a full year) and with Cybersix it's just, old and obscure and last received new content a decade before ao3 launched). All that said i'd be down for any recommendations forged Catwoman centric fics. TAGGING: @biracialdamianwayne @harlequintears @pleasestophoney and@the-caped-crusader and anyone else who wants to do this.

[iplaymatchmaker]

May I request an IkeRev matchup? Likes: Watching and discussing film and television, cats, the beach, period romances, hockey. Dislikes: Most foods (i'm a picky eater), selfish people. Hobbies/Skills: I'm an actress and a pretty good one (if I say so myself), reading tarot, studying astrology, board games, crochet. Passions: Community activism and intersectional feminism. I'm an INTP Ravenclaw and my introversion makes me come off as cold until I open up to you, then I'm v funny and sarcastic!

A/N: Heyo, person behind the blog here, I just wanted to apologize for being so absent, and arguably very slow with asks (what’s new here), life is super busy and it has sort of killed my motivation to write. I’ll try to finish the next few faster, so bear with me.😅

I match you with

Ray!

Thanks a bunch for your patience, sorry this is so late but I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for requesting🥰 ! This was honestly such a blast to write and helped relieve some stress, so thanks.❤

Before the two of you grew closer, Ray was just the intimidating leader of the black army. It’s an understatement to say that you are surprised when you find him sandwiched between a chunk of the cats you frequently feed. You stay silent for a few minutes, endeared by the sight of the King of Spades playing with street cats.

When he notices you, his laid back smile is replaced by confusion. He doesn’t’ seem convinced when you tell him you were bringing food to the cats, but the bag you are carrying is enough evidence to support your claim.

Despite your rocky start, the two of you end up meeting on occasion at the same alley, either by coincidence or fate. Since you already learned his secret, the two of you often spend time together, usually at night when he’s off duty. It serves as a break from the routine, a space where you could forget about your problems outside of that moment.

The peace is disturbed when you are attacked by a group of bandits, looking for some easy cash. You had never had a similar incident happen before, but looking at the dimly lit alley around you, you realized standing alone wasn’t the best idea. You were planning your escape when Ray appeared out of seemingly nowhere, knocking down the two men in a swift movement. The event served as the catalyst for the shift in your relationship, moving towards something deeper than idle friendship.

Soon you start meeting outside of the confined space of the alley, on his days off, slowly getting to know each other on a more significant level.

The first time he sees you crocheting, waiting for him at the small café in Central Quarter, he is convinced you’re working magic. Despite your attempts to explain it to him, his hands seem to only be good for gripping the sword. Even so, he seems to grow a habit of watching you do it, claiming it’s relaxing when it’s you doing it.

 Prompt: Date

 Standing in the middle of an ongoing fight, you began questioning how it always ended up so messy with him.

You had been eating dinner at Black Army Headquarters, making idle conversation with Seth when the topic of Ray came up.

“How are things between you?” it shouldn’t have been a hard question. You both loved spending time together and you felt like you were growing more and more comfortable with each other. Still, something held you back from a quick reply.

“Oh no! What did that brute do?” a face of horror only Seth could master fell over his face.

“It’s nothing…” you were going to change the topic, but the man had never been on to leave a lady in distress without advice.

“When someone says it’s nothing, it’s usually something bad.”

“Is that so?” you smirked, hoping to lighten the mood but he didn’t seem ready to move on. You sighed, knowing full well how considerate everyone in the black army was. Perhaps it would be good to talk someone.

“It’s silly really. I just… I feel like I’ve been seeing him less and less. He’s always busy with one thing or the other these days. He’s been working his days off as well so…” your voice trailed off when you realized you had been rambling.

“I see, I see. Not to worry, big sister Seth is here to save the day. Leave it to me  <3. “  you weren’t sure what he was planning but you were glad to see him chipper again.

  It was shortly after waking up the next morning that you realized what he had been plotting.

Ray was hovering around the door when you got up, confusion written all over his face.

“Rethinking your will?” you wrapped your hands around him to peak at the letter he was holding.

“What?” his eyes were still drowsy after a long night or reading reports and you couldn’t help but tease him a little.

“What’s so interesting about a piece of paper? Don’t you have a stack of those fighting for your attention on your desk?” your tone was playful but you were still disappointed at your own words, knowing you wouldn’t see him again until dinner.

“Seems like those will have to wait.” He finally cracked a smile and turned to you, handing you the small piece of paper.

Dear Ray,

       This is a letter signed by all thirteen officers of the Black Army. With this letter, we order you to take a day off as compensation for working on your breaks. Consider this your punishment. We better not see you working, or we will be forced to double your punishment to two days off. Your duty today is to have fun and spend time with your girlfriend.

            -With Love,

The black army officers <3.

  You mentally slapped Seth in the face.

“I didn’t know this was what he had in mind.” You run a hand through your hair, still messy from sleeping in.

“Did he tell you about this?” you were expecting Ray to be upset at the turn of events, but he still wore his laid back smile, giving you hope that this could turn in your favor.

“It’s nothing. I just saw something in the stars.” You pecked his lips, arms wrapping around his neck to bring him closer. The close contact made you realize how long it had been since you had been alone.

“I see. Well, considering they went through all the trouble of grounding me, we might as well make the most of it.” His arms tightened around you as he closed the distance between you. You started appreciating Seth’s gesture after all.

After a late breakfast you packed up, ready to spend his first break in a while on the beach. You couldn’t keep the smile from your face as you walked through the woods, a comfortable silence falling between the two of you.

Despite your bright mood, something in your mind was still worried that Ray’s smile was forced. You had seen how hard he had been working and it was hard to shake the feeling that a day off would only cause more stress. You ultimately decided to keep your worries to yourself, determined to make the day worth his while.

“I love the breeze.” Once the cold air hit your face you felt yourself relax, the sound of the waves hitting the shore playing like music in your ears.

“Come on!” you grabbed Ray’s arm, dragging him to the water, practically skipping over the golden sand.

“Don’t trip!” in the end, it was Ray who fell over, causing you to topple over laughing before helping him up, sand now covering his backside.

After setting up, you made yourself comfortable on one of the chairs, the warm sun of the afternoon pleasant on your skin.

“Care for a swimming contest? First to make it to the hill and back wins.” Ray’s offer came with a confident smile, peaking your competitive curiosity.

“And what do I get if I win?” you rose from your seat, challenging him with your eyes.

“How about one favor? Don’t worry, I’ll be kind.” you both smiled, sparks practically flying between you.

“How romantic.” You placed a light kiss on his lips, preparing for takeoff.

“You’re going down Blackwell.” And with that you were off, sprinting towards the water.

“Cheater.” You could hear Ray behind you, trying to catch up. You were both laughing now, wishing the moment could last forever.

You were panting by the time you got to shore. Despite your best efforts, Ray had arrived a solid minute before you. You could resist splashing him when you made it back.

“Those muscles shouldn’t be allowed in this competition.” You were pouting, but it didn’t matter to you much who won, as long as you could spend more days without worries.

“So you don’t like my build?” his pouting wasn’t very convincing but he had the spirit. You wrapped you arms around him, your faces inches apart.

“I never said that.” Before you could prove your point, you heard a scream coming from further down the shore.

“Help me!” Ray quickly entered solider mode, searching for the source of the screams.

“That woman!” you pointed to a woman visibly fighting to free herself from the grasp of three men. You stayed behind Ray as you approached the group.

“Leave her alone.” Ray’s voice was cold as ice, a complete contrast to his previous demeanor.

“And who are you?” one of the men spoke up, perhaps the leader of the group.

“The king of spades. I could probably take you all with ease, so you should probably let her go now.” The men laughed. Two of them came forward, the third keeping a firm grip on the woman.

“Let’s see what you’ve got, King.” His voice was dripping with irony. Ray cracked his knuckles once before making his first move. Showoff . The grins were quickly wiped from the men’s faces as the fell on the sand without much trouble. The third man tried to run but you were already behind him, a kick in his groin enough to loosen his grip, allowing the woman to slip away. She silently thanked you before taking off, wanting to get away from the fighting. You only then realized that you were now standing between Ray and the leader of the group, the other two men still groaning on the ground.  Standing in the middle of an ongoing fight, you began questioning how it always ended up so messy with him.

“Don’t worry, this’ll be over soon.” Ray flashed you a confident smile before launching himself at the lowlife. You pushed yourself out of the way, giving him some room to throw him on the ground, finally immobilizing him.

“See. My muscles are good for something after all.” He was smiling, but the fighting seemed to have taken a toll on him, considering he had been swimming right before this happened. A sudden feeling of guilt took over you.

After the men were carried off by the soldiers patrolling the area, you and Ray decided to rest a little before going home. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, still shaken by what had happened.

“Say it.”Ray finally broke the silence.

“What?”  

“You’re a good actress, but I know you well enough to know when something’s bothering you.” he turned to you, posture still relaxed despite the events of the day. You knew lying wouldn’t get through to him so you decided to be honest, considering keeping things was what got you in this situation to begin with.

“It was me who gave Seth the idea to give you a break. I just felt like I haven’t really seen you in a while…” Ray reached out, one hand wrapping around your shoulders.

“That was probably irresponsible. You have a duty after all.” You tried to smile, but you knew it was strained.

“I missed you.” His words were simple but they touched you all the same.

“Sure, I’ve been busy. I have a duty to protect these people.” You looked back at the sea, wondering when the two of you would be able to come again.

“But I also have a duty to you. I fancy myself to be a top tier boyfriend after all.” He cupped your face, looking straight into your eyes.

“Let’s do this more often.” You smiled, feeling like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

“All right. Next time, try not to get into fights. It’s not very top tier boyfriend of you.” He laughed, kissing you like you were the most important thing in his life.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[vgperson]

What Did I Do In 2019?

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, VICTORIA! You’ve been accepted for the role of BERTRAM. Admin Julie: Ring ring, Vic, it’s me, the bringer of good news -- albeit, a little late! Your application for Beau was literally everything I wanted and more. From the not-so-subtle allusions to pop culture and media which Beau would likely be obsessed with, to how Beau’s world revolves around Beau, you hit the nail on the head. I’m especially interested to see how he will grow, change, fail, and adjust to the world around him as it spins on its axis, especially with the Capulets and Montagues ready to go at each others’ throats. I was overjoyed to see your app in the inbox, and I’m just as overjoyed to have this fool of a man on the dashboard. Thank you! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Victoria

Age | 24

Preferred Pronouns | she/her

Activity Level | I’m always available on mobile, and I try to knock out a few replies every other day unless I manage to queue.

Timezone | EST

Triggers | none that aren’t already listed

How did you find the rp?  | Rosey

Current/Past RP Accounts | I currently write Katarina Du Pont !

IN CHARACTER

Character | Your desired character’s alias -

Beau Renaud, Bertram. // with a faceclaim change to Zane Holtz and if I could age him up to 32, I’d appreciate it! It gives me the time to have Beau attend university in Paris and ‘build’ a career that would make it plausible for him to have bought his way to the top, ruined it for himself, and then crawled back to his mothers to have ‘earned’ his position at L’Arena.

What drew you to this character? | We’d love to hear what about this character’s bio caught your attention! Make this as long or as short as you desire!

On Beau Renaud–

What drew me to Beau Renaud the most was how fun he is– how shallow, and perfectly flawed this dastardly human being is who jumps out from his biography and reeks of Creed Aventus during the week and Bleu de Chanel on the weekends with a voice as sickly sweet as a macaron. Quite frankly, he’s the type of person I’d want to punch in the face, but my god after reading his biography I was dumbfounded by how much I adored him. Maybe it’s because of how light he feels, in comparison to some of the other characters here in DiVerona. Maybe it’s his blissful ignorance towards his own flaws while he attempts to navigate the flawed lives within Verona. Maybe I just love the idea of writing someone so garishly grand and loves themselves for it. Or, maybe it’s because there’s something terribly alluring about writing a man who really is in it for himself: without the violence, with only a love for the beautiful things in life.

Beau Renaud is a man adored, but not a man loved. And there’s something terribly lonely about this. There’s something haunting in the lack of genuine connection he has with people. There is something… Lonely about being an only child, but one that is seen not as himself, but as the living failed embodiment of his parents ambitions. It’s about the glitter and gold, it’s all about an opulent party and the adrenaline rush of the interactions. But, it’s not about heart. Strangely enough, terribly enough, it’s not about Beau’s heart. He’s not nearly ruined enough to be hailed a Dorian Gray for his sins, but… It’s quite something to realise that he’s as clueless as Dorian was at the beginning of Oscar Wilde’s novel.

At the end of the day, he is simply a man born in the wrong era. Beau Renaud would not have been found at fault if he’d been born in the Edwardian era or sooner. And it’s almost laughable, that his engagement to Daphne Allard is nearly exactly that of every American millionaire’s daughter who had gone to Europe in hopes to marry a man who had what they lacked: lineage and rank. It’s a call back to Downton Abbey, it’s Consuelo Vanderbilt marrying the 9th Duke of Marlborough, it’s the Gilded Age of British aristocracy (who were quietly growing too poor to maintain their grand estates) marrying commoners for their considerable dowries. Beau Renaud would have fit right in. He comes from a sumptuous bloodline after all, and the man does need his funding to fit the lifestyle he loves.

I almost hate admitting it, how alluring this man is. But, that’s Beau for you. You adore him, but you don’t love him. There’s something terribly ugly about how beautiful this man is, how handsomely grotesque he manages to be in his vanity and near blindness. You love the parties, the escapism, the way he is accessible and a self-proclaimed neutral. Yet, you hate him for the same exact reasons. Friend or foe is a game to be played in Verona. Is he bright enough, at least, to play it to survival? Animals do whatever it takes to survive, and Beau will do whatever it takes to make sure he does. But, will he survive in Verona? I want to write him because I’d like to be the first to find out.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | Where do you see this character developing, and what kind of actions would you have them take to get there? 3 future plot ideas would be preferable.

Everywhere and nowhere, down the rabbit hole and to Hadestown we go. This is where we find Beau Renaud. This is where we find parts of his story and where his life might lead– but you won’t find his ending written anywhere. At least, not yet.

Dorian Gray – a moment in literature

It’s almost laughable how comparable Beau Renaud is to the Dorian Gray we are introduced to at the beginning of Oscar Wilde’s only novel. They both know nothing but of the grandeur their lifestyles have afforded them, they know their childish selfishness– they have some grasp at the desire to please others and fit in. But while Dorian’s greatest catalysts are, arguably, an unnamed book and Lord Henry Wotton, our dear Bertram has spent a year in Verona remaining the same neutral, same untainted and self-centered man that had arrived from Paris. He’s a modern Dorian, who knows the spoils of narcotics and what money can buy. But in the case of Dorian’s descent into debauchery and extremes of unforgivable sin, Beau has yet to descend from his harmless (though blind) perch beside his beautiful fiancee. I won’t define the catalyst, because this is dependent on many factors in Beau’s life: who he makes friends or enemies with, the decisions he makes in terms of his position at L’Arena, the information he may or may not learn. But it is a precarious place where he sits. He is determined to survive, determined to live in his lighthearted merriment as a socialite. This greed for himself was known to him in France, but Verona has a way of bringing out the darkest and most wretched desires of its occupants. His priority is himself– How far down into sin is he willing to go to ensure it? Can he be brought to violence? He’s already sinful enough, witty enough to buy people off to secure his safety– to one extreme, can his sly tongue and position at L’Arena buy his safety within a mob? If his descent to Hell is to follow that of Dorian Gray, Beau is destined to utter doom. Years and years of debauchery and unholy acts are to follow him, plague him. Anything to survive, anything to enjoy still his beauty and his life. Whatever it takes to win. At least, until his guilt eventually catches up to him. But, will it?

Scarlett O’Hara, Prince Charming – a moment in film

His own survival is his greatest priority. His marriage guarantees him this– just like Scarlett O’Hara’s second marriage to Frank Kennedy and following marriage to Rhett Butler, and not unlike Shrek 2’s Prince Charming and his betrothal to the unfortunately, unknowingly already married Princess Fiona. Beau, Scarlett, and Prince Charming are all characterized by their greed and ignorance. Scarlett wants to survive and is willing to marry whoever it might be that will allow her to continue to live in comfort. However, as she pines for another, she is ignorant to the love that has been in front of her since before the Civil War. In the end, she’s too late to realise it. Prince Charming, on the other hand, had been promised the hand of Princess Fiona and the kingdom to follow. He shows that he’s willing to resort to manipulation and violence to achieve what he so ardently desires, having grown up promised he would have it all. Beau is engaged to the beautiful Daphne Allard: he’s been promised riches and the lifetime of a socialite as her husband. But, is that all this is? Is he Scarlett, marrying only for money? Prince Charming had wanted love, but what does Beau want? The chill to the air when the two are alone in a room is practically suffocating, freezing him from the inside out, unnerving the charming, rogue-ish grin that dances along his expression. Though this is certainly a business arrangement, Beau cannot help but wish for, at least, friendship between himself with his soon to be wife. His charm, his grace had failed him with her in the months that had followed his arrival in Verona. And though as of late he’s not thought much of his fiancee, there is still some deeper part of him (whether or not he would be open to admitting it, or Daphne would be receptive enough to hear it and believe him is certainly a question) that wishes to try. She sees him as Hades. But, wasn’t Hades the most loyal, most benevolent of his brothers?

The Confession, Sir Francis Dicksee – a moment in art

Would he be the confessor one day? Or, would she? Daphne, he wishes to know as his future wife, Lillian he wishes to know as… What? Both women are brilliant and sparkling jewels in Verona, revered as they are for their money and poise. But, what would it take for him to open up? What would he have to do, or say, to make one, or both of them allow their truths to tumble from their lips? Words, beautiful words can and do shine as luminously as they do on their own. Truth can be uncovered no matter how prettily laced they can be, and he is no stranger to the wit and charm required to undo such beautiful wrappings. Or, would their truths dim their light? Would it marr their facades of utter perfection? He’s so very curious about Lillian. How is it possible for one to be so good? He can practically feel Daphne slipping further and further away from him. But, when it comes to both women, could their truths hurt him, damage him in some way? When it comes to his fears and deepest desires, and even his unaddressed shame at having his mothers both so cuttingly tell him he was never meant for greatness and lacked the proper ambition and intelligence that they’d wished for him, when will it come to light? Who would he ever confess it to? It’s true, he’s shrouded in darkness, in a mystery of ignorance and laughter, but there is a hollowness to it. A year in Verona has brought a sense of desperation to the frenzy of weekly galas and parties that offer an escape from the harsh realities of each day, each week spent in this city. Perhaps, one day he will confess. Maybe, one day he will uncover a darker world of hurt and pain and truth within himself. But, after confession comes repentance. Does he have it in himself to ever do such a thing?

Versailles, Gossip Girl – a moment in television

As far as story arcs go, no matter how much he might try to remain neutral, Beau Renaud is a socialite that’s had his hands in ruin of his own name in the past. Was this ruin nearly anything as terrible as what goes on in Verona? No. In the glimmering world of being of a good name and household, being the son of the right parents is everything. He is their legacy, their smiles and laughter, their triumphs. The upper class would be nothing without a healthy dose of nepotism. For Beau, Verona is nothing like Paris. In fact, it’s nearly as though he’s been thrown into some bizarre amalgamation of Gossip Girl meets Versailles. There is intrigue and drama, there is murder and poison, there are vile things lurking beneath the surface of every sparkling thing that Verona has to offer and violence at every turn, paranoia running rampant as he looks over his shoulder every day. In the past months it’s finally sunk in that he’s in the middle of a mob war, with one side choking him and the other with a dagger in his side daring him to publish anything that leans more to one side or another. He’s privy to many secrets, yes, but he is nowhere near powerful nor as connected here in Verona. Either he develops towards a path where he stakes his claim and stands his ground as a keeper of secrets to harness his own power, he remains a neutral puppet dancing merrily on strings like a marionette doll, or he joins a mob. Whichever direction he goes in, however he develops as a character has yet to be seen. But, it will not be without struggle. It will be filled with anguish and strife, hardship that he has never known: because this is Verona, and he is not immune to his environment; because in order to survive, he must choose and he will suffer no matter which path he should set himself onto. Versailles’ court would have been simpler to navigate. Perhaps, though, Beau Renaud would end up in a ditch before he can decide. Maybe, he’ll be responsible for a death or two– either by his own hand, or as a result of news published to L’Arena. The possibilities are endless for this pretty bird with clipped wings. And, to think: he only thought he’d be moving to Verona to marry a rich, pretty girl and a new career that he could slack off on easily.

Welcome to year 2 in Verona, darling. Xoxo Gossip Girl

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | End him. But make it pretty.

IN DEPTH

Please choose between the interview or the para sample (or both, if you like!)

In-Character Interview: The following questions must be answered in-character, and in para form (quotations, actions written out if applicable, etc). There is no minimum or maximum limit for your response - simply answer as you would if you were playing the character.

What is your favorite place in Verona?

“How could I ever choose?” He leans back in his seat, eyes dancing with merriment as he grins. “This place–” Beau’s hand comes up to gesture towards the view beyond the patio where they sit, fingers sweeping towards the view of Verona before it resettles again in his lap. “Is so beautiful.” His chin turns next, blue eyes focusing on the city in the distance, chiseled jaw emphasized by the light as the curve of his mouth softens to the practiced look of fondness. “Verona is no Paris,” This, he admits as though it were a secret, louder than a murmur so that the other can hear him, but soft enough that he nearly seems embarrassed to admit it. “But, it is something else.” His brow quirks slightly at the interviewer’s direction, ever so dynamic, ever so engaging. “But, I suppose if I have to pick a place, it would have to be The Twelfth Night.” The artwork reminds him of the museums he used to stroll around, and The Tempest reminds him of the nightlife he had been so accustomed to in Paris. This isn’t home, but it needs to be. It will be, after he marries Daphne in November. “There’s a certain charm to this city, and it is… Beautiful. There’s nothing quite like it.”

What does your typical day look like?

“–Well, I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my “back pain”, Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine… Well, because it’s awesome.” He’s since turned his face back to the interviewer in full, quoting The Wolf of Wall Street without so much a blink in hesitation. But then he snorts, and a playful expression comes over his handsome features. “I’m kidding. I saw it in a movie once, and I thought it was funny.” A chuckle tumbles from Beau’s lips as he crosses his legs in easy elegance. Though as burly as he is, it’s almost surprising someone like him is so smooth. He attributes this to the ballroom dancing lessons he’d begun as a child, and none of it to the swimming and boxing he does to stay fit now. “My typical day is like anyone’s that works an office job. Wake up to an alarm that’s too early for comfort, check my phone, have an espresso shot or two to get going before I get ready and am out the door. My work at L’Arena is blessedly streamlined by my personal assistant Sophie as I also have a hand in planning a few charity events a month.” When the interviewer looks surprised, Beau shrugs good-naturedly. “I was not so lucky to be in such a position in Paris. After all, I am my mother’s son, and she is quite the philanthropist herself.”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

His brows furrow, mouth falling open before it partially shuts in an exhale of contemplative breath. This is a question he had not expected and later he’d have Sophie send a damning email to the head of this magazine for not sticking to the approved questions. The subtle pout to his lips makes it evident that he is less than pleased. “I suppose…” A blink, then another. Then a laugh as he shakes his head at the interviewer, bringing that charming smile back to his features. “Not learning Italian more quickly? I’d say I am quite passable now, but, perhaps if I had not studied English throughout my education, I could have learned Italian instead.” Reaching for the mimosa before him, Beau takes a sip before he continues. “No,” He teases with a faux contemplative look into his half-empty flute. “I think my biggest mistake was not proposing to Daphne in Paris. I think it would have been more picturesque, more romantic that way. But, she accepted, despite the location. That’s all that matters to me.”

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

This is both a question and answer he knows, and with a softening look in his eyes that he smiles once more, absentmindedly rolling the stem of his glass as he speaks. “Finalising the design of Daphne’s ring. I wanted it to be unique to her, to the jeweler and design house, and I wanted it to be like nothing anyone had ever seen before. So, we’d pulled from archives, looking for a way to better conceptualise what I was looking to create. And, in the end, we were able to accomplish it.” Beau nearly seems fond of the memory, but when the ring itself is a testament to him, why wouldn’t he be? His pride glows like something glimmering and warm, but deep down the most difficult task was abandoning Paris– abandoning the beautiful city he knew every inch of for the grotesque little city of Verona.

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

He has half a mind to throw this interviewer out of his home. What sort of interview was this? But before his displeasure makes itself known, it is covered up by his sitting up and expression changing to one of surprise, brows raising once more as remnants of his smile still curve at his lips. “I’m not here to make a political statement, my friend. And– I do run a news outlet here in Verona that’s unbiased.” He nods towards today’s edition of L’Arena that sits artfully amongst the breakfast spread on the table between them, voice taking on a more wistful, more passionate tone than before: just like his mothers had taught him. Beau appears vulnerable, but only just so as a man that wants not to focus on what festers in Verona– one that clearly still clings to the beauty of the day to day. “There is so much violence and decay in the world–” He pauses to shake his head as if he can cast out the past few months from his head. “–So much darkness. But, I don’t think we should let ourselves be consumed by the ugliness of it in our day to day lives.” His hand gestures towards the food, then he grins wider as he raises his hand to gesture towards the view. “We should enjoy it: the beauty of the day. Now, please. Let’s not put this food to waste, hm?”

Extras: If you have anything else you’d like to include (further headcanons, an inspo tag, a mock blog, etc), feel free to share it here! This is OPTIONAL.

Pinterest: here

Playlist: here

[mysweetestcreature]

New Year’s Kisses

A/N: First writing piece of 2019!!! Hope you’ve had a lovely New Year’s celebration and are ready to kick ass in these upcoming months!

I want to thank all of you for such a wonderful year. I started this blog in March of 2018, and now here we are, first day of 2019 and I couldn’t be more thankful for each and every single one of you.

Hope you enjoy this little one-shot I put together as a New Year’s welcoming treat :D

***

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: smuuuut, and I’m a bit drunk right now so...¯\_(ツ)_/¯

***

As soon as he and a few of his mates had entered the club just a short thirty minutes ago, she had immediately caught his attention. It isn’t in that cliché way you would expect to see in basically every romantic comedy movie in the history of the first world cinema. No, it’s because she’s been there alone at her table wearing a form-fitting satin champagne two-piece dress with her hair curled just enough to give it a nice beachy wave that falls right below her shoulders. A tall drink sits in front of her, the straw being twirled elegantly with her pointer finger as she studies everyone around her until she takes the end between her pouty lips every now and again. 

There’s this way she looks at someone through her long lashes, it’s as if they’re the most fascinating person in the room that had sparked Harry’s interest in the unnamed girl, which now leads him to wonder if she’s found him of any interest at all. 

“Just go over there already,” Mitch tells him, nudging his elbow into Harry’s side as to give him a little push. “If you stand here any longer, you’ll start to look a bit sketchy.”

Harry sighs, pinching the neck of his beer bottle between his fingers and taking a long swig from it until the last drop falls onto his tongue. He lets out a soundless burp as he flickers his eyes from the girl to his friend. “A bit forward, don’t you think?”

Mitch snorts into his drink. “Well, it’s New Year’s Eve. So, in my humble opinion, if you’re going to get rejected by a girl, might as well be a few hours before you can leave it all in 2018.”

“Mitch’s right, mate,” Adam adds. “Might as well.”

Harry pops the cap off another bottle and breathes out heavily before he allows his feet to navigate him through the sea of sweaty bodies all moving to the rhythm of some gaudy pop song that’s lyrics are absolutely undecipherable to his ears. 

She doesn’t look at him when he stands next to the empty spot beside her, but he can see a smirk form on her lips as she continues to stare forward.

“You see that man over there?” she asks, and Harry has to look right and left before realizing she’s talking to him. “Looks about twenty-nine, dirty blonde, navy blue slim-fit, two from the left.” She nods her head in the direction of man sitting alone at the bar.

“What about him?” he returns the question.

The girl finally turns her head to face him, and he’s immediately taken with the intense shade of her irises. She laughs lightly, the gentlest sound surpassing her lips. “He’s been sitting there all night drowning himself in...bourbon, maybe whiskey.” she pauses briefly and curls her mouth to the side. “Do you see the way he keeps fumbling with his hand?”

Harry squints his eyes and sees how the man taps his fingers without pattern or rhythm along the countertop.

“It’s his left hand, so I’d say he’s recently divorced and trying to get back in the dating game, but he’s hopelessly failing because he’s guilty about moving on so soon. You can tell by the way looks down at his hand and thumbs over where the wedding band used to be.” The way she talks, it’s as if she’s confident in this man’s history, almost as though she had read the story of his life in a book of some sort. “He’s also been checking his phone every few minutes debating whether he should call her, but of course he’s scared and he’s a man so...” She orients her body to completely face Harry, her eyes scanning him up and down for the first time. “Y/n,” she smiles at extending her hand to him.

He reaches forward and grasps it in his, squeezing it firmly as he shakes it. “Harry,” he replies. “Are you a...”

Y/n shakes her head and lifts her glass until the straw is just centimeters away from her lips. “Sociologist, yeah. Doing a field study on club culture.”  

Makes sense, Harry muses to himself. He looks around, looking for a target for Y/n to dissect. “3 o’clock, red dress,” he says, leaning in closer for her to hear. Y/n smirks at him and doesn’t even flicker a gaze at the girl as she flips her hair back behind her shoulder. 

“Came here with a friend, probably against her will. She’s the type who would rather be at home and watching fireworks on the telly.”

Harry raises an eyebrow at her. “How do you reckon that one out?”  

“For one, her friend––Miss Hot Pink Heels over on the dance floor––abandoned her as soon as they found a table, which really is the bitchiest thing to do, don’t you think?” she says in a pitiful tone and shakes her head disapprovingly. “And she’s obviously uncomfortable given the circumstance.” 

“Well, she’s a homebody, yeah? Can’t picture anyone like that wanting to be here.” Harry inserts his thoughts.

“Yes, but there’s more to it,” Y/n tells him, and he can tell by the cadence of her sentence that she has more to say on the matter. “Her eyes haven’t left her friend since she was whisked away by that Argentinian lad with the voluminous hair. It took me a while to figure her out actually, she was bit tricky to read at first, but I think I narrowed it down.” Harry turns to her, waiting for more details and nodding for her to continue. “She’s in love with her. I realized it when Mr. Flow-y Locks left her on the dance floor to get them a few drinks, and Pink Heels started grinding with the woman with the 800cc implants. It’s really only a matter of time until she’s had enough.” Y/n barely glances over her shoulder as she gives the woman a side glance. “3...2...1.” Harry eyes widen as the woman in the red dress stuffs her phone back in her purse and makes her way through the crowds of people and stalks towards the exit.

“Impressive,” he admits, raising his beer bottle to her. 

Y/n giggles softy. “It’s my job,” she quirks and lets out an airy sigh. “It’s New Year’s Eve, which is arguably the second most romanticized holiday of the year. Think of it as a single’s Valentine’s Day.” Another giggle passes through her lips and she closes her eyes and tilts her head back as though to immerse herself in the environment. He can’t help but stare at the even rise and fall of her chest as she soaks everything in. Letting out a wistful sigh, she turns back to Harry. “Everyone knows that bars and clubs are the best places to find an easy hookup or someone just as lonely as the next. You know, how everyone just lingers around each other trying to pick out someone they can snag a kiss from when the clock strikes midnight, and hey,” she shrugs, and points to two people leaving through the backdoor exit and leans back on her elbows. “Who cares? It’s the last day of the year, so you might as well welcome 2019 on a high note.”

Harry stares at her, completely enthralled by the detail of each of her statements. He’s known her for about what? Less than an hour? Yet he already feels himself succumbing to the knowledge and wittiness that she undeniably exudes. “You’re really something else.”

“Is that it?” Y/n gasps, raising a half-amused eyebrow. “Is that your line?”

“What? No!” Harry’s eyes grow wide and he stutters on his words before capping his mouth with the nozzle of his bottle. “I don’t even think I have a line.”

“All guys have lines, Harry,” she giggles. “You’re a good-looking guy, and I’m sure you’ve been made aware of the fact.” She runs a hand down the front of his half-unbuttoned shirt. “But as society functions, all guys have some kind of pickup line that they use, whether it’s intentional or not, that they hope will charm a pretty girl into bed with them.”

Harry snorts, placing the bottle back on the table and daring to take a step towards her. “Alright then, have a go at me” he says, almost tauntingly.

“You sure you could handle it?” she teases, taking the back of her knuckle and following his pointed his jawline. 

“Only one way to find out.” He places a hand on her hip and traces it up and down. He tilts his head to the side and waits for her to guess details of his life just as she had done moments before. “Have at it,” he says in an almost whisper.

Y/n bites down on her bottom lip and studies him, then leans back, using his broad shoulders to support her. Harry can’t fight back the tug of the upper corner of his mouth as she glosses her eyes over him. “You came here with two other guys who haven’t stopped looking at us since you made your way over here to talk to me. You’re confident, but not arrogant, and it shows by the way you didn’t just waltz over here like you were sure I’d just melt into your arms with one look into your ridiculously green eyes.” Harry lets out a loud laugh at this, Y/n continues. “As I mentioned earlier, it’s New Year’s Eve and you’re here looking for someone to kiss tonight––but not just some random. No, I think you’re the type of person to want to find a connection with someone because you’re not just looking for sex.” She locks her fingers behind his neck and brings her body flush against his. “Are you, Harry?” she whispers in his ear. “What do you want?”

***

Before she can even acquaint herself to the image of his flat, he pushes her up against the door, his mouth attacking the exposed skin on her neck with rough nips of his teeth and glossing over each abused part with his tongue. She cranes her neck, allowing him more access as her hands roam down his chest and find themselves caressing the ink on his heated skin with the chilled ends of her fingertips.

“This,” he breathes out, connecting his lips to the side of her mouth. “I want this.” He says again and kisses the same spot twice more before allowing his lips to linger above hers, looking down at her through hooded eyes. Their breaths mingle with one another while their hands roam over the other’s clothed bodies as though studying each feature in great detail. Her mouth is parted as she pants in anticipation for his next move. She looks up to him, her eyes glossed over and dazed as her tongue just barely sticks out between her lips. Before she can do anything else, he crashes his lips down onto hers, the tip of her tongue being sucked into his threshold to dance with his own. She pulls him by the collar, wanting to feel every inch of him as close to her as possible.

She holds back a moan as he hitches up her skirt. His hand disappears underneath the hem and glides over the smooth skin of her thigh. His movements pause as soon as he reaches the outside of her panties. He smiles into the kiss as his fingers graze over the damp fabric. He pulls back from her lips, his forehead leaning against hers as he chuckles softly while he stares down in awe below them. “You’re dripping for me, baby,” he husks, lips tickling her ear as his fingers pull her panties to the side. “And I’ve barely touched you.” One of his long digits wipe along her slick folds, collecting her juices as he continues to whisper in her ear. “Want it as much as I do. Gonna let me stuff you full with me, won’t you?” Y/n nods eagerly nods her head, cupping his face with her palms and connecting her lips to his as she grinds her throbbing clit against his large hand. 

“Are you gonna make me beg, Harry?” she says as his tongue enters her mouth and licks all over the inside. “Didn’t think you were the type.” Her voice remains steady despite the rush of desire that floods her veins and sends shocks to every nerve in her body. She drops her hands from her body and reaches behind her to undo the zip of her skirt and letting the material fall between them and down around her feet. 

Harry doesn’t respond, instead continues to suck on her bottom lip as he bends down to grasp the back of her knees, encouraging her to jump into his arms and straddle his waist. He carries her into his bedroom and lays her flat on the bed. He lays in between her legs, spreading them further apart as he kisses up the length of her smooth silky skin. His nose pokes into her inner thigh and lightly calloused fingers trail right behind him, hooking at the hem of her panties and pulls them all the way down and discards them off to the side.

“How much do you want it?” he muses, his tongue pushing past her folds and taking a long lick. He looks up to her, moaning onto her button when he sees her staring back at him, her lip caught under her teeth, her knuckles turning white as she clutches onto his wholesome white sheets. 

Her back arches up when his fingers enter her hole, but he sets his other hand flat on her lower stomach to keep her back flat on the mattress. “Harry,” she purrs, lifting her hips to the best of her abilities as she rubs her aching pussy further into him. He sucks fervently on her clit as another finger enters her, soon followed by a third. He thrusts in and out of her quickly, the sounds of her wetness filling both their ears and sending their minds through a whirlwind of feeling as they completely cave in and shred whatever bit of inhibition they may have had left. “You like giving my pussy attention, baby?” she asks in a shaky voice. He hums on her button, the vibrations of his mouth sending jolts all the way down to her toes. “Does it taste good?”

“Mmhm,” he mumbles, all of his attention being focused on how absolutely delectable she tastes on his taste buds. “So fucking good, so sweet,” he adds when he pulls away and blows on her sensitive mound. “Can’t wait to stuff you full with my cock.” 

Harry removes himself from her, sitting back on his knees and working the buckle of his belt and shoving his pants and boxers down over his ass. He falls on his back right by her side. She hikes a leg over his middle and tears the rest of his attire off of him. His cock, all red at the tip and leaking warm bubbles of precum down the sides is enough to make her mouth water. “You’re so big,” it’s barely audible as it leaves her mouth, but it’s able to reach his ears. He crosses his arms behind his head and admires the way she gently strokes her hand over the length of him. She bends down, unable to stop herself from taking one of the delicious dribbles on her tongue and to feel it settle all the way down into her tummy. 

He moans when she takes as much of him as she can into her warm and inviting mouth, and he shuts his eyes tight when he feels himself hit the back of her throat. She bobs her head around him, breathing in through her nose as her eyes water from having him so far in her. Her cheeks hallow as she sucks him further. He gathers her hair in his hands, fists tightening as he leads her up and down his cock, willing himself not to send the entirety of himself down her tight throat and just cum right then and there. Her hand massages the back of his thigh, rubbing on the coarse hairs as she flicks his tip with her tongue. 

He counts to five in his head before pulling on her hair, and she releases him with a sound pop. He pulls her face towards him and kisses her lips all plump and pink, and he can even taste a bit his saltiness on her. “You like having me in your mouth, love?” They exchange heated kisses between the two of them. “Greedy little thing, aren’t you? Had to pull you off my cock before I gave you my treat,” he tuts his tongue then rolls them over. He pushes her knees back to her chest, her pussy lips spread perfectly for him and arousal glistening in the moonlight peering through the crack in the bedroom curtains. “Look at you, darling, so fucking ready for me.” 

“Then do it already,” she challenges. He shoots her a smirk and pushes into her without a second thought. She sucks in a breath as her walls accommodate to the size of him as he bottoms out, his balls slapping to the curve of her ass as he freezes on top of her. 

He curses under his breath. “Christ,” he all but gasps, urging himself to pull out of her just enough for the tip to linger at her entrance. “Such a tight little thing,” he says, but it’s more to himself as he slams back into her delicious heat.

“Fuck, you feel so good inside me,” she whines, her hands cupping her breasts and pinching and twisting at her nipples as she enjoys the feeling of him pounding into her in a fast rhythm. Harry throws his head back as his hips buck into her. The headboard of his bed thumping against the wall with each powerful thrust, only to be drowned out by the New Year’s countdown from his upstairs neighbors. 

31...

30...

29...

His movements become more erratic as the final seconds of the year come dwindling down to a finish. He shifts lower, their chests pressing up together and he stares at how her mouth forms in an O-shape, as he feels her orgasm fast approaching by the way her walls flutter around him and make almost impossible for him to move. “Cum for me, darling.” He leaves sloppy kisses along her jaw as he slithers his hand down to rub furious circles on her clit to edge her closer to fulfillment. “Give it to me,” he barks, sinking his teeth back on her pulse as he plunges into her cavern in harsh strokes that have her crying out his name in between uncontainable moans.  “You’re right there, baby. Just let go.” 

15...

14...

13...

Her toes curl into the sheets and arms wrap around his broad shoulders as she reaches the brink of ecstasy. “I’m gonna-” her voice getting higher and unable to complete her train of thought as she shudders beneath him, and brings his lips back to hers in an open-mouth kiss. She peels her lids open and watches fondly as Harry continues to thrust into her in long deep strokes, with his eyebrows furrowing in concentration.

4...

3...

2...

With one last powerful thrust, he pulls himself out of her pussy, jerking himself only once with his fist before he spills his release all over her stomach and heaving chest. She stares down at herself in amazement, the white ribbons of cum intricately swirled all over her sweaty skin. She traces her finger along one of the thick lines, then pushes it past her lips, humming in satisfaction as she swallows. Harry drops down to his elbows, laying back on top of her and lazily connecting their mouths. 

1.

[lucyreviewcy]

An Ode to Taylor Swift’s Approach to Self-Branding

In his book Stars, Richard Dyer discusses the way that movie stars’ personas are built and developed both within and outside of their films. Dyer suggests that the kind of characters that stars play feed into the overall narrative of their career. Taylor Swift isn’t a film star, unless you count a few brief cameos, but her persona is unique in that her personal presentation (Instagram, interviews and anywhere where she is pretending to be herself) and her performance persona (in photoshoots, music videos, live performances and arguably her music) are so nakedly constructed.

While she once may have claimed to have something in common with the girl she plays in the videos for Picture to Burn or Tim McGraw, these days, Swift is no stranger to drawing attention to how her image is created. If you don’t believe me, just look at the video for …Ready for It. She’s literally making a new Taylor.

Whenever T Swizzle releases new music, her fans are chided for combing through the lyrics and accompanying images with a fine toothed comb to find hidden clues or references to other parts of the Swift Mythos. Swift’s music videos are rife with call-backs, her lyrics shot through with veiled (and sometimes…not veiled at all) references to events in her personal life or previous work. As she proved with the Look What You Made Me Do video, you don’t need a cast of thousands of Hollywood stars and decades of comic books to create an extended universe; she did it with one name, one persona, reinvented over and over.

YouTube film academic Lindsay Ellis has pointed out that any text or product exclusively targeted at teenage girls (Ellis refers to the Twilight franchise of books and films) is received by audiences as being universally poor quality and worthy of spades of parodies and mean-spirited hot takes. A lot of media that is cherished by and targeted at young girls is considered extremely low art, and Taylor Swift, despite being a prolific songwriter and a consummate performer, is often dropped into this bucket with a loud, gangly thud. Regularly commenting on how much she loves Tumblr (a site often associated with the obsessive, single-minded fandom (you can read my Timeless reviews on this very blog btw)) as a way of connecting with her fans, Swift makes a big point of trying to connect on a personal level with the hordes of young women who connect with her music.

EM Forster wrote: “Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer.”  Swift seeks to connect with her fans who connect with her art. She’s attempting to turn a one-sided exchange into a kind of contribution triangle, whereby she’s inspired by her fans who are inspired by her work, and both contribute in the resulting music. By creating this pseudo-give-and-take, Taylor’s music and images become something more than a disparate set of marketing images and tunes, but one mythology – “fragments no longer.”

I think it’s admirable for any star to try and do this. As I mentioned at the start of this article, Swift’s persona is fully constructed. Her desire to connect with fans is extremely marketable and played up in interviews and even the way that she speaks to the literal thousands of audience members at her concerts. However, Swift’s detailed, complex mythos, full of symbolism and self-referential intertextuality is the net result of all that connection. It is a mad and brilliant scheme that ultimately acts as a cultural studies training level for her fans.

It starts when Taylor’s hidden a clue to her album title in her latest music video. Her fans interrogate the text, which is a CGI ridden 4 minutes that is so unreal in its aesthetic that every element has been consciously constructed. They dissect, they discuss, they write about their findings. You know, just like when a big controversial movie comes out. That’s right, I’m saying ME! is the Roma of the Taylor Swift world.

I’m a fan of Swift’s music (eye-roll all you want, she writes good tunes, bite me), but I recognised literally none of the symbolism that fans and super-fans and beleaguered entertainment correspondents across the globe are writing adrenaline-fuelled blog posts about. I’m 25, I work in media and I’m doing a masters in film – did I notice that the seven suitcases represented T Swizzle’s albums or that the whole damn video takes place inside a cocoon? No. I did not.

While the details that fans are going nuts about might not be ground-breaking or important in the oeuvre of film and cultural studies, it is so important that these fans are being encouraged to explore and interrogate these texts. They’re sharpening their teeth for tougher meat. Not every Taylor Swift fan will grow up into a film studies academic (although I would read a sci-fi short story where this bizarre phenomenon happens and somehow brings down society) – but the fans that engage on this level are learning how to explore media as constructed work in the context of its creator. THANK YOU TAYLOR! She’s not the hero that media studies wants, but she’s the hero it deserves…

We live in a media dominated age. Our politicians fight in snarky twitter battles, news breaking across the world is available to us pretty much as it happens, and our sexy looking lunches are tiny headlines broadcast from our social media accounts. Interrogating media is a really important skill in this age. Young women and men reading “too much” (don’t get me started) into Taylor Swift videos are learning three things:

1)      Sometimes there is more to a media text than meets the eye, subliminal messaging is a thing.

2)      Taylor’s persona is constructed and she’s consciously creating each new incarnation.

3)      You can question the media that’s put in front of you, even if it is put there by someone that you like.

The way that people often dump on media studies and related fields as “reading too much into things” and “all bullsh*t” is frustrating. Not only is this argument kind of rude, it suggests that there really isn’t much more to a text than meets the eye. There is! Films, movies and music influence us every moment of every day, having the curiosity to ask how they’re doing that is not a bad thing. You’re not “making it all up” if you say that the way that Harry Potter valorises unrequited love is actually quite dangerous, or if you point out that the 2017 Baywatch manages to gently reinforce all the bad gender politics of the 1980s original (WOAH SHOCK) or if you want to write a gosh-darned 7,000 word essay on the bit where the snake bursts into a cloud of butterflies. That curiosity is empowering and exciting and exploring texts this way is fun.

There are caveats to this. Not everyone likes reading texts this way, and it is important to maintain your love for the movies, music videos and other texts that you explore even while you hit them with some cold hard theory. So here is my message to any Taylor Swift fan and budding media genius, stepping out into this wild world of media. Keep these things in mind:

Not everyone will share your passion, but that doesn’t mean your passion is bad - it just means that you might need to have other topics of conversation up your sleeve for when people just aren’t interested. 

Be sensitive to your friends and don’t dump on all their favourite movies and musicians.

Be aware that a lot of people might not share your opinions.

Be quiet in the cinema because shouting “Dutch angle” every time there’s a Dutch angle will make people really mad.

But don’t ever be embarrassed to read into a text and ask questions about how and why it was made.  T Swizzle has felt the brunt of a media age that says what it wants and airs your dirty laundry. She writes songs about how it feels to have a reputation you have no control over. Then she says to her fans “Hey, I’ve reinvented myself, come see if you can figure out what I’ve done! Dissect every frame of my video and every lyric of my song, and every damn pixel of my Instagram.” She sets up the media world as a puzzle which can be pieced together, and if not solved, then thoroughly explored.

Taylor Swift actually wants her fans to do this, and so do I.

[elfnerdherder]

Ill Intentions: Chapter 18

[Support my Writing] [Read on Ao3]

A special thanks to my patrons: @sylarana @jenacar @frostyleegraham @evertonem @starlit-catastrophe @kenobi-is-king @frostylicker Mendacious Bean, Superlurk, Duhaunt6, and Cecily! <3

Chapter 18: Dialogue

           “Thank you so much for agreeing to meet me!” the girl gushed. She was pretty, in that I-can’t-remember-quite-what-my-natural-hair-color-is sort of way. Large eyes, thick eyeliner. She ran a blog online and had Will Graham’s face all over it. He wasn’t quite sure when it popped up, but readers assured her that they’d still follow her work *if* the Will Graham fad faded.

           “Of course,” Will replied. “I didn’t realize that people were following this so closely. When I saw everyone’s insightful comments, as well as your support as I tried to keep journalistic integrity, I thought that you had some interesting ideas. Your theories.”

           “My theory that you already know who it is? Yeah, I know. Not many people believe me. I wrote to you, but you didn’t respond.”

           They were seated outside of a coffee shop that didn’t make coffee, and whose only idea of something closely resembling coffee was an espresso. Anything else on the menu had syrup or energy drinks in it. Will settled for a pumpkin spice latte because it felt right at that time of year, and he added another coffee to his watch. He needed to drink water soon.

           “Sorry.”

           “No, I get it. You’re busy.”

           “I have been lately, yeah,” Will agreed.

           “So you meeting me means that I’m right, right? You know who it is?”

           Will laughed. “I was more interested in you talking about your publisher that would love a writer that could engage like I did. I was going to ask if you could see about presenting a manuscript for me anonymously.”

           He didn’t like talking himself up like that. The brag felt forced, pushy, but Nicole didn’t seem to mind. She squinted, much the same way she had when she first walked up to the table, and she adjusted her cat-eye glasses. From writer to writer, she seemed to be able to see bull shit a mile away.

           “You have a manuscript?”

           “Something I’ve been kicking around for a bit. I think that just about now is the most convenient time to present it.”

           “Not meaning to sound rude, since I like you Mr. Graham, but what am I getting out of this?”

           Will smiled, and he reached into his pocket, tugging out the handkerchief with care. He set it on the table between them, catching Nicole’s eye.

           “That handkerchief,” he said, maintaining eye contact, “belongs to the Chesapeake Ripper. I took it from him.”

           Nicole looked from him to the handkerchief, and she snatched it up with hardly a breath, her grip tight enough to tell Will that he now had her undivided attention.

           “When you look over that manuscript and send it in for me, I’ll let you post about whatever you like. With this as evidence when that time comes.”

           Nicole looked from the handkerchief to Will; her grip didn’t slacken. “Why do you care so much about who this publisher is?” she asked. “She’s amazing, don’t get me wrong, but why her? Why me?”

           He finished his drink before he answered. Just around them, there was the gentle murmur and discussions of holidays between friends, the plans just ahead and what lay on the horizon. Normal, calming things. His watch beeped to remind him to drink water.

           “I heard that she is willing to publish anyone with a good story. Someone that can see when something’s real and make the most out of it.”

           “Yeah?” Nicole pocketed the handkerchief, her silent agreement.

           Will stood up and threw his cup away. “I’ve got something she’s going to like. That’s all.”

-

           Jack picked Will up on the steps of Tattler News before the news vans and avid fans could quite get to him. It was the day before Will’s appointment with Dr. Lecter. Will didn’t quite like to admit it, but there was something exciting about Jack stopping him; he wondered if the agent had figured out that something wasn’t adding up.

           “Find something?”

           “A body. The Maestro.”

           He didn’t quite deflate at the mention of the bastard’s name, but something close to it. Will was getting just about tired of the Maestro and his nosiness. His need to be seen. Will Graham & Co.

           They rode to the scene in silence. It was an hour or so of countryside dusted in a powder of snow, and Will Graham tracked rolling hills that gave way to branches stripped of their green. The FBI sprung for electric heaters in the leather seats, and Will indulged a little.

           The body was found in an open amphitheater in the middle of Wolf Trap National Forest that would normally showcase theater or performances for campers. He stood at the top for longer than was necessary; this he only found out after Jack shouldered past him, headed down with the steps of a man that was maybe getting just a little too tired of this shit. Will wondered about his absent wedding band. Maybe he should have asked in the car.

           Snow had fallen in the time between the body being placed and the body being found. Will huddled into his peacoat and tried to breathe through his nose, the air just bitter enough to make his throat uncomfortable. Forensics was busy dusting away at the snow that’d given a fine layer to Mr. Peters’ final form. It was like unearthing a rare and grotesque artifact; each sweep of the soft-bristled brush showed more and more of the mystery beneath.

           It sounded an awful lot like Lacrimosa was on the wind. Will could remember it from listening to the old lady next door, the window open to her music room where children did their best to recreate works of art on introductory, factory-glued pieces of garbage. They’d get better with time, she would reassure parents. Maybe invest in a nicer violin, and it wouldn’t sound so squeaky? Maybe some steel strings? Cat gut strings? Maybe don’t buy from Amazon Prime next time?

           The notes that hummed when he laid eyes on Mr. Peters came from the belly of a rich and aged cello, something whose notes mellowed and curved around the sound of his death. Despite the build-up of music that’d grown with each death, with each frustrating note as Will willfully ignored the Maestro, this felt somehow anti-climactic in comparison, something soothing and yearning. Will rubbed his ear agitatedly. He wondered of the Ripper had seen the body, too.

           “This guy isn’t in any orchestra that I know of,” Jack said when Will made it down the final few steps. “Thirty-eight, single, rents a house somewhere out here.”

           Will stared at the mop of unruly brown hair, and he could hazard a guess.

           “He also left this,” Jack continued, passing the note over. Rather than look at Will, he continued to stare at Mr. Peters, brow set. His avoiding Will’s face was more telling than the note would be.

           “How’s your wife, Jack?” Will couldn’t help but ask. He took the note and held it tight in his left hand, stalling although he couldn’t say why.

           Jack side-eyed him, lip curling. “Excuse me?”

           “You’re not wearing a wedding band.”

           He could tell that Jack didn’t want to answer. Despite the murmur and hum of the forensics team moving about the seats, gleaning everything over for clues, it felt as though there was nothing more than the music, Will, and Jack. His fingers tapped lightly along the paper.

           There was no way in hell Jack was going to give him a copy of it. His corkboard would have to miss out on a note.

           “Died,” Jack said. There was nary a flicker of emotion as he said it. “She died.”

           Will wasn’t sorry for the death –at least there was one death that he didn’t feel some form of culpability for. He looked down to the letter, a weird tightness in his throat.

           “My condolences,” he said, and that was as far as he’d go without feeling like an ass about it. He didn’t ask why Jack wasn’t wearing a ring if it was a death that’d taken her and not someone else.

Will Graham & Co.,

           The next stanza, I’ll admit, is a stepping stone to the final act. When the Conductor is trying to reach out to the many musicians of their ensemble, more often than not there are one or two persons that refuse to do as they’re asked. The rest of the musicians may reach out, the conductor may also attempt private tutoring or various angles to attempt to make them see reason –

           In the end, there are some that do not comply. They must be removed from the symphony so that the performance may continue unhindered.

           Does Jack Crawford feel close to finding the Chesapeake Ripper? Does he feel close to finding me? As the conductor, I feel a certain responsibility in helping. Perhaps I will catch your killer for the both of you.

                                                                                                                       -Another Avid Fan

           Will stared at the letter, then at the body in front of him. In that moment, he’d have liked to have felt fear in realizing that he was one of the ones that Maestro felt the need to remove because he wasn’t complying with ‘the plan’. In truth, there was nothing more than a flicker of annoyance, a feeling that out of all of the places he needed to be, this wasn’t one of them. Beside him, Jack held still and waited for him to speak, a certain energy about his silence.

           “You ever see something like this?” Will asked.

           “Serial killers competing for the attention?”

           Will snorted. “I wouldn’t call it competing. You’ve got one going off on their own, killing, and the other’s just trying to catch up.”

           “Sounds like you’ve got a favorite, Will.”

           Will opened his mouth to reply with something particularly snarky, but he snapped it shut and circled the body instead. Jack’s wife was dead, and she’d died recently. Given everything he’d done –and arguably what he was going to do –he owed it to Jack to be a little nicer.

There was nothing special about the body. It was dressed much the same as the others, the only giveaway about the intentions behind it being the curled brown hair. Will supposed that that was something to consider about himself, that the open and exposed throat didn’t rattle him as it had the first time. Hearing the music had made him nervous, made him wonder at himself.

           Just what was he becoming that now, all that he could feel was a vague flicker of annoyance at the timing? The presumption?

           His watch beeped: Get ready for lunch.

           “We can assume he’s coming after me,” Will said when he finished his lap.

           “Or the Ripper.”

           “Does he know who the Ripper is?” Will wondered. “If so, maybe we just need to follow the blood trail. This is personal to him.”

           “Looks like you’re personal to him,” Jack corrected.

           “Maybe. Maybe he knows me, maybe he’s just getting really mad I’m not addressing him in the column. Maybe I keep ignoring him, and it draws him out for you to bring him in.”

           “Will,” Jack said, and something in his voice made Will look up from the way snow had gotten inside of the man’s throat, clung to the bleached vocal cords. The wind stirred, dancing small swirls of powder off of the stage. “I got a call from my boss. As of right now, they’re wanting to bring you in and keep you until we can get this under control. The more you’re out in the public eye, the more in danger you are. The more in danger the public is.”

           Will didn’t hesitate to let the words sink in. “No.”

           “It’s not a request.”

           “You can’t –I don’t want –”

           “Honestly, I got my ass chewed for how long I left you out here, but that’s neither here nor there. Where the Maestro is specifically targeting you, we’re moving you to a special safe house. I thought maybe showing you just how much danger you were in would help you come to that conclusion on your own, but…”

           Jack didn’t finish his thought, and he didn’t have to. Will looked from him to the body, a strangled laugh trying to gurgle out.

           Are serial killers your muse?

           “Either way, this has gone on long enough,” Jack carried on when Will didn’t speak. His tone brooked no argument. “We’re going to get you taken care of, but first and foremost we’re going to keep you safe. With, or without your consent.”

           It wasn’t until they were on their way back from the crime scene that Will found the right words.

           “You’re not stupid, Jack,” he said.

           Jack glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, but said nothing.

           “You know protocol. You know rules, regulations, and the right steps to take,” Will continued, staring out of the passenger window. “You’ve been doing this a long time.”

           “I have.”

           “So you’d know that protocol said the moment the Ripper sent, oh, I don’t know, the third letter, I should have been pulled. But I wasn’t.”

           “That was a mistake that –”

           “Don’t bullshit me, Jack,” Will interrupted, and he looked back to Jack with a mildly unsettling smile. “You let me keep my freedom because you hoped it’d bring the Ripper to your front door. I was bait, only you didn’t want me to think I was.”

           “You weren’t complaining about it,” Jack pointed out.

           “I wasn’t,” Will agreed.

           “If you’d asked to be taken to a safe house, I’d have had you there in a heartbeat.”

           “Yeah, I know.” Will looked back to the window and tracked the gently rolling hills of snow. The wind often picked up just enough of it to create small, hollowed mounds that rolled and carried across the ground, gaining more snow and momentum as they went. One poor step, and your foot would just keep going until you found yourself hip-deep in the mess of it. Chilled to the bone.

           “I’d have never compromised your safety.” Jack sounded as though he were trying to convince himself just as much as he was Will.

           “You did, Jack,” Will replied. “Don’t worry, I’m not mad about it. Just trying to let you know that blowing smoke up my ass to tell me you should have pulled me sooner is a shit excuse, and you know it. You haven’t lied to me yet. Don’t make a habit of it now.”

           Silence, save for the humming of the heater and the faint catches of music in the background. Jack Crawford played smooth jazz on the radio.

           “She’s fought cancer for a year now,” Jack finally said. His voice was raw with the kind of emotions Will didn’t want to share in. “My wife. I’d hoped to catch the Ripper before she died. She’d heard enough about him over the years. It feels…wrong to wear her band until I’ve got him. I think I’ll be able to put it back on once I do.”

           He found himself taking on some of it anyway –mostly the grief, the loss. Will curled his bottom lip into his mouth, bit down hard. It seemed that no matter what Jack did, he was destined to lose. No matter how hard he fought, it would never be good enough. Will couldn’t be mad about Jack using him as bait, not when he had such a need at stake. People that always lost became desperate. People that always lost either continued to lose, or they found a way to change the game so that they could win.

           “I’ve got a therapy appointment tomorrow with Dr. Lecter, Jack,” Will said when they started to hit traffic going back into DC. “I understand that you’re pulling me, but can I just have a couple of days to get my shit in order?”

           Jack didn’t respond to that until they were pulling up alongside Tattler News, where Will’s ‘avid fans’ were waiting with signs and baskets of treats. He put the car in park, looked over, and gave Will a long, searching stare. It was reminiscent of the first time Will had ever spoken with him, seated just across from one another at the coffee shop. Things had spiraled since that moment, left Will hitting the ground running with no time to look back.

           “We’re taking you to the safehouse on Saturday,” Jack finally replied. “Whether you’re ready or not.”

           “Got it.” Will opened the door and climbed out, sliding his messenger bag over his shoulder. When he went to close the door, he paused, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he tried to find the right words. This wasn’t a piece of paper. This wasn’t a word doc. That he could tinker with until perfect. This was a person. “Thanks, Jack. For…understanding.”

           Jack grunted an affirmative. “Saturday, Will.”

“Yeah, Saturday,” Will agreed, and he shut the door, hurrying past the crowd that tried to rush him with cries of adoration and questions about the Chesapeake Ripper.

-

           Hannibal Lecter’s office was a private practice with a fenced in courtyard and an elegantly painted door sign. Will was five minutes early, and after signing in and filling out the appropriate paperwork, he idled in the waiting room with a sense of unease coupled with excitement wrestling in his guts. The couches were upholstered, nary a magazine out of place on the freshly dusted coffee table; the receptionist didn’t sneak glances at him as though she were questioning what he was there for.

           His watch beeped to tell him that he’d better be at Lecter’s office. He swiped the notification away, as well as a reminder that Beverly had texted, and Molly had called twice. He thought to pace, to release the emotions that curled and licked along his short breaths, but reason overcame him. He had to play it calm. He glanced down, allowed his glasses to tilt and adjust crookedly. He had to lie, and he had to be very, very careful while doing it.

           Thankfully, among many of his other talents, lying was indeed one of them. As of late, he’d come to know that fact intimately.

           He stood when the door opened, and he stared for quite some time when he met the gaze of the man that stood across from him. He had to fight the self-satisfied smirk that threatened to crawl onto his face.

           Dr. Hannibal Lecter was handsome in an unconventional way. Poised in the doorway of his office, he wore a blue suit with thin white pinstripes, shoes a polished brown that matched the pocket square in his suitcoat. He was broad-shouldered, but it tapered to narrower hips. His cheekbones were high, his eyes deep-set. Thin lips were set in a placid, emotionless line, and his jaw was illegal in twelve states. Hair was combed, face was clean-shaven; in truth, he was the antitheses to Will Graham’s own mildly abused suit and scruffy beard.

           “Will Graham, come in,” he said, and Will’s heart lurched.

           He followed him into an office, hardly aware of the feeling of feet pressing into carpet, moving him forward. He could only repeat those four words in his mind, in that voice, his pulse in his throat, his skin becoming somewhat clammy. The FBI had been a surprise; this time, they were on an even playing field.

           Will could hardly wait.

The office was just as tastefully decorated as the waiting room, rich mahogany wood and oil paintings of lovely scenery. To the far side was a fireplace and a desk, and in the center of the room sat two comfy looking leather chairs that faced one another.

           “A pleasure to see you so soon,” Dr. Lecter –the Ripper –said, extending his hand. “I think we’d both agree that it is on much better terms than an arrest.”

It took Will a moment longer than necessary to shake his hand, but he did, awkwardly studying the two leather chairs. They looked arranged more for a stand-off than an actual conversation.

“Yeah, thanks for that,” he said, looking back to Lecter. “Whatever you said did the job.”

“I assure you that all that I did was tell the truth,” he replied, a quick smile flitting over his lips. It slipped past the professional veneer that he held, made it just a little easier to see the Ripper beneath. A secret for the two of them. The truth, but only just.

“Please, have a seat,” Lecter continued, motioning to the chairs. Will nodded, made his way to the one where his back wasn’t to the door, and he sat down in it, easing into the supple leather with only the mildest of stiffness. “Have you done this before?”

           “Therapy?” Will asked, looking around. The loft above housed nothing but books upon books upon books, and he studied them with interest before he looked back to Lecter now seated across from him. “Oh, yes. Several times.”

           “How did it work out for you?” he asked. He sat much the way Will thought he might, one leg crossed elegantly over the other, hands clasped in his lap. His expression was still blank, still shuttered to whatever thoughts had to be rushing though his mind. Was he surprised to see Will? Angry? Afraid? Impressed?

           God, Will kind of hoped he was impressed. Afraid as well would be a bonus.

           “Not too well. One of them told me I kept anticipating her questions, so I knew how to avoid them,” he admitted. He rubbed his ear, stopped when he realized the motion. Lecter’s eyes tracked it the way a bird of prey tracked a mouse in a field.

           “Why now, then?”

           Will smiled. “Because I finally found something interesting to talk about.”

           Dr. Lecter didn’t speak for a while, and Will finally looked away from the corner of his glasses, startled to see an intent, probing expression. It was not so obvious as others, but there was a sensation like he could see into the back of his mind, peel the layers of the skin and find the truth beneath. Will made sure to hold very, very still.

           “I’d like to help you, if I’m at all able,” Lecter said. He shifted and rested his hands on the arm rests. “I tend to recommend appointments at least once a week, increasing to two should the need arise but no more. My rate is two hundred per hourly session, although if you are of a lower income I do have a sliding rate.”

           “I can pay,” Will assured him.

           “If I may, can I ask how you were referred to me?”

           “You come highly recommended off of google,” Will replied. That seemed to amuse the Ripper; at least, his eyes lit up and the edge of his lip turned. Will tracked its movement, then looked back to the edge of his glasses.

           “How many therapists have you been to before you found your way to me?”

           “…Growing up, my dad made me see one, once. Then there was one in high school, one my graduating year, one in the second year of college, and one right around graduating there.” He ticked them off on his fingers, wriggling them with some small bit of irony. “I guess the difference is that I’m seeking one out this time rather than someone shoving them at me.”

           They met eyes again, and something taut was pressed to Will’s ribs, testing. There was a set to Lecter’s shoulders, like he was prepared to lash out at any moment. Will didn’t jump up to accuse, though –that would spoil the fun.

           “What sort of thoughts intrude in the spaces of your mind?” Hannibal asked. “What most would you like to talk about?”

           “Killing, Dr. Lecter,” he said, and he rubbed his mouth like he could soften the harsh sound of the consonant. “I think a lot about death.”

           Hannibal nodded like he’d been expecting this, like he’d been waiting for this. “Do you fantasize about how you’d take someone’s life?”

           “It’s more like…I recreate how someone else did it.” Will shifted, crossed a leg in order to match the Ripper’s. “Is this a session today, Dr. Lecter? Or is this some kind of consultation?”

           “I have the time; consider this your first session, free of charge.” He shifted in his chair, crossed his legs the other way to get comfortable. “At the very least, you can ascertain whether or not the two of us would be a good fit.”

           “I’m not worried so much about that,” Will replied. He tamped down the urge to show just how smug he felt. “…When I was twelve, I was put into special education classes because my social skills were sub-par. I was tested and found to be on the autistic spectrum, but high-functioning enough that I was allowed back into regular classes after I saw a few therapists and doctors. Things were…fine. Normal.

           “In high school though, we were in New Orleans when Hurricane Katrina happened, and there was…a lot of death. There was a lot of looting, desperation, murders…fear. There was a lot of fear.”

           “Is that when they discovered that you have hyper-empathy disorder?” Lecter asked.

           “Is it that obvious?”

           “When one knows what to look for, yes. Tell me, do those glasses have a prescription?”

           “No.”

           “You avoid eyes.”

           “Eyes are distracting,” Will explained. “When you’re trying to see something more than a physical appearance, eyes get in the way of everything else.”

           “And I’m sure with your lack of love for many things, why look for something you don’t care to see?”

           Will nodded at that, glanced down and pressed his palms together, lining up the fingers with careful precision. It reminded him of his last stint in therapy, a feeling of a cheese grater on his eyes, although he had to remind himself that he’d chosen to be here. He’d chosen to sit down in this room.

           Because this was the lair of the Chesapeake Ripper.

           “I have a confession,” he said, and he didn’t look up. He could imagine the look on the Ripper’s face at a statement like that. “While you may have gotten me out of an arrest, Dr. Lecter, it looks like Agent Crawford’s ability to keep me out on the streets is coming to an end.”

           “An end?”

           “Apparently I’m drawing too much attention to myself. I’m being taken to a safe house.”

           “A safe house,” he mused, and Will glanced up in time to see the Ripper’s careful mask slip, a flicker of annoyance in the set of his jaw as he cupped his chin in hand and stared across the room contemplatively.

           “I thought to tell you,” Will said. “If you thought we were a good fit, I was going to request a last-minute appointment for tomorrow. Just to get my affairs in order before I’m sent away somewhere that you can’t reach.”

           There was silence once more in the spacious office. Will kept time with his heartbeats as the Chesapeake Ripper deliberately rose up and went to his desk, taking the time to grab a pen and casually open a small, leather bound book. He glanced across the way at Will, then down to the paper, and he jotted a couple of things down, shoulders squared.

           “I can make time for tomorrow at seven-thirty sharp,” he said. “Does that suit you?”

           “Do you trust me to be on time?” Will asked.

           Dr. Hannibal Lecter looked up from his paper once more, and the smile he gave was something borderline feral. The shadows filled the hollowed spaces of his cheekbones, and Will wondered if that was how he looked when he first observed Will drive a knife into someone’s gut.

           When no one was watching, did he always appear so hungry?

           “Only time will tell,” he said calmly, and he nodded towards Will’s watch when it beeped. “Perhaps if you program it into your watch, you won’t be late.”

           And Will couldn’t help but laugh, completely calm and somehow at ease, even as the doctor saw him out of his office with a hand pressed to the small of his back.

[scrawnydutchman]

My Animation Journey: Thomas van Kampen

Hey everyone! It’s been a VERY long time since I updated my blog, huh?

So for this post I thought I would do something a little different. For those who don’t know, I’m a professional animator. I have been for about two years now. I’ve worked on shows like Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series, Care Bears: Unlock the Magic and Curious George. I’ve also been a part of a few other projects before that like the crowdfunded feature film Dawgtown. Reason I bring all of this up is I figured it might be helpful to some folks if they knew how exactly I got to this position. Nowadays it feels like if you throw a rock you’ll more than likely hit an aspiring professional artist, but for as many as there may be a lot of them aren’t actually sure if they can make it due to a number of doubts. Maybe they can’t afford schooling. Maybe they aren’t in a region where the industry is prominent. Maybe they just don’t know what they have to do to get studio attention. I personally feel that the story of how I broke in to the industry is pretty unique so my hope is that reading it might help many an aspiring artist gain confidence and maybe even fill in the blanks for their own story. So without further ado, let’s start at the beginning.

Part 1: The Beginning

My entire life I’ve always been a storyteller. When I was in elementary school I used to make little comic books out of stapled pieces of printer paper and hand them out to my classmates. In high school I wrote a 100 page fantasy novel and wrote/directed a play in drama class. My grades were never all that good, but I always scored high in art and creative writing projects. Here’s a comedy skit I put together back in high school with my friends (warning: incoming cringe):

As a testament to my love for storytelling, I thought for a very long time my destiny lied in live action film making. But that didn’t exactly pan out the way I hoped. For one, I was rejected from my nearby institute’s video production course 3 times. For another, I didn’t exactly have all the skills necessary to direct a production involving multiple people. Film proved to be a difficult path for me because I couldn’t work around peoples’ schedules and I couldn’t find the locations I wanted for the types of stories I wanted to tell. Best I could ever do was comedy skits. All this compounded failure left me drifting for a little while after high school.

But then, on my 18th birthday, my dad pulled me aside to give me a proposal. He said that since 18 is such a milestone, he and my mom wanted to do something extra special for my gift. He told me I have two options: I can either get $100 dollars to spend on whatever I want . . . or, if I had something in mind for starting a career, he would spend as high as $800.

Obviously I wanted to take the latter. But I wasn’t sure what to do. Film wasn’t panning out. My mom and dad at the time tried to pressure me into app development and computer coding because they seemed like safe ventures, but I couldn’t entertain something like that. Whatever it is I chose, it had to allow me to tell the stories that I wanted to tell.

Then, it hit me. I suddenly remembered hearing about this animation program called “Toon Boom” back in high school comm tech. So I thought “why don’t I do animation?”. After all, I could already draw. Plus, with animation you don’t have ANY of the limitations of live action. You can create anything you can imagine with animation and you can make everything yourself from the comfort of your room. I knew it was going to be a time consuming thing, but after a bit of soul searching I knew this is what I wanted for myself. So I told my dad about it and he managed to find a student copy of toon boom animate for cheap on Ebay (back when it didn’t go by Harmony). So I got that for my birthday and got to work. I still have my very first cartoon here:

Oh yeah, it’s awful. I had a VERY rudimentary understanding of how animation worked. I drew everything haphazardly with my mouse. I didn’t know how to use motion tweens all that well so in some places I just copy pasted assets and rotated the drawings slightly. I stole copyrighted music (which miraculously I haven’t been caught for yet). I recorded the dialogue on my phone. Worst of all, I didn’t even know how to properly compress my video. Believe it or not, this took me a month and a half to make.

But you know what? Everyone I knew loved it. My feed blew up and everyone made a point to tell me how funny they thought it was. I remember my dad saying “toon boom seems like a good investment!” Needless to say, the positive reinforcement was very encouraging. 

I’m hoping the takeaway here is two things:

1. Knowing what you want in life is a deep, soul searching process, but once you find it, committing to it isn’t all that hard, even if it’s tedious as hell.

2. The best way to get started in anything is to just, well . . . get started. Make something. ANYTHING. even if it’s not that great. For as poorly as this cartoon has aged, it resulted in me getting my very first commission from my brother where he asked me to make a music video for his band. It also resulted in me getting a drawing tablet for Christmas later that year. Even bad content is better than having nothing in your repertoire at all. Try getting your ideas out no matter what.

This boost in confidence eventually resulted in me going for making long form content. I wrote, animated, edited, voice acted and directed TWO episodes of a show featuring the character you see in my very first cartoon. The first episode took me half a year to create and the second took me a WHOLE YEAR. But you know what? I was showing clear signs of improving all the way.

Here are the episodes:

Part 2: Making connections

So at this point, my motivation to break my way into the arts was in full throttle. I was SURE that animation is what I wanted to do in life. Making little shorts was cool and all, but I still needed to learn how to get professional attention. So there’s a number of things I did:

For starters, I needed to know what employers were looking for when I apply for a job. I remember way back, around the time i was halfway through making episode 2 of the Peacock, I was talking to a friend of my brother’s at his birthday party. I told him I wanted to pursue animation professionally (I believe this was after we were talking about the music video I made for my brother) and he said that he knew a guy in Vancouver who was doing 3D animation. I asked for his name and then later that night looked him up on Facebook. Once I was sure I was talking to the right guy, I wrote him a lengthy message about how much breaking into animation would mean to me. He told me that he was visiting my home town for a little while anyway and he generously donated his time to answer my questions about the industry over coffee. He told me all about demo reels and how I would need to structure it and what kind of knowledge that studios were looking for and all that type of stuff. I was also recommended to talk to another professional in my home town and she told me to get started on a portfolio website. So I took everything they were telling me and started applying it.

my niece told me about this organization in my hometown that she found out about through the grapevine. This place called the “Quickdraw Animation Society”. It was this organization dedicated to helping local artists find their voice and gain the skills necessary to make their own animated films. I thought this was perfect!! College was sort of off the table for me since my dad highly encouraged getting an education at this trade school and he told me he wouldn’t pay for an education that didn’t guarantee a job at the end (and looking back knowing the kind of debt i could have fallen into, I kind of side with him on that one). But Quickdraw was offering animation courses for cheap! Even i could afford it on my part time retail salary! So I took Quickdraw’s classes and used them as a vehicle to start making even more of my own projects.

Here’s just one of several short animations I made while studying under Quickdraw:

But my involvement with Quickdraw didn’t stop there. I made a point to volunteer for them  in their move and their fundraising efforts and their little animation showcases. I made a point to REALLY get involved with their community. That ended up being arguably the most instrumental decision in my career. After a while I got done making my very first Demo Reel. I was ready to start officially applying for jobs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx5OHGfYz-4

I know this reel doesn’t seem like much, but believe it or not, with the help of the Quickdraw Animation Society, this reel ended up getting me my first two major animation gigs.

The takeaway here is: get involved with a community. Reach out to people. Get yourself out there. Don’t be afraid to ask professionals questions and accept that a lot of this is going to involve relying on the kindness of strangers. Nobody gets anywhere without somebody helping them.

Part 3: Thomas the Freelancer

After I completed my very first demo reel, as fate would have it Quickdraw began emailing me among others about new job opportunities popping up. The first time they informed me of a job post, it was somebody looking for an artist to create animated backgrounds for a stage play performance of “Curious George”. I was among the very first to send my application and this was the very first time I used my demo reel to try and land a job. The next day, their recruiter contacted me on the phone and started with “thank you for including a demo reel instead of putting the illness on me to track down your work like other applicants”. See how important a demo reel is? I ended up creating every background for every scene of that play, which was projected onto the screen behind the performers as they did their thing. 

After that, Quickdraw informed me of ANOTHER job post. This time it was a children’s book author in Edmonton looking for an animator to help her win an animated film pitch contest. The winners of this contest would get a grant of $10,000 to create their animated short which would then be featured on Telus’ Storyhive platform. I sent her my demo reel and she brought me on to help put together the assets we needed to make the cut. And guess what? We were among the few who were selected to earn the $10,000. This resulted in me flying for the VERY FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE to Vancouver, where we would attend a workshop detailing the conditions of the contest. I also happened to meet even more animation friends on the plane (they were sitting right across from me and were other winners of the Storyhive competition). 

In the following months I would dedicate almost ALL my free time to this short film. I even quit my part time job so i could commit to it full time (a decision my dad was thrilled about, I’m sure). I did all the storyboarding, background design, character design and animation BY MYSELF. If anything in the development cycle was visual related, I was the guy that did it, taking notes from my directors all along the way. In hindsight, I definitely should have asked for more help since the final product has a few flaws, but this is still a milestone achievement in my career.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmTuwIeEoqA

At this point, I had somewhat made a name for myself. I had credentials. I had recommendations from clients. Gerry Mouse would go on to be featured in multiple film festivals: My film festival debut in fact. As you can imagine, my ego was at an all time high. After the film released I updated my demo reel again and felt like I was ready to officially start applying for full time studio work in the industry.

As I would come to find . . . it wouldn’t be that easy.

Part 4: The Dry Spell

Gerry Mouse was the last big success of mine for quite some time. What followed was an entire year of doing ‘freelance work’ . . . .which is a polite way of saying I was mostly unemployed with only a few small gigs inbetween. I was relentlessly applying for studios all over Canada, hoping SOMEBODY would give me the time of day. In some places, a few studios even offered me the chance to do a test . . . but due to circumstances that I’m honestly embarrassed about in retrospect, I either failed them or couldn’t complete them at all. My dad eventually started pressuring me to get any kind of employment I could get my hands on, but even trying to find work in low requirement fields was proving to be fruitless. I was getting depressed, which was compounded on by the fact that I had gone through a hard break up around that time as well. it wasn’t ALL bad though. Around that time I made another short film called “A Lovely Stroll”, which would later be featured in both the Florida Animation Festival AND the Open World Animation Festival (which is kind of like my debut as a writer and director, not just the crews animation lead). 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afN2v3pBiqQ

It was also around this time where I got a month long remote gig from a studio in Toronto that was . . . honestly? Best paying gig I ever got to this day. It’s too bad that never amounted to anything bigger. I also started doing a wee bit of animation for Dawgtown too, but that eventually ran dry due to production complications. The bulk of that time was just spent by me being depressed and uncertain about the future, earning what ever money I could with small commissions here and there.

Then, within my endless pushing of applications hoping for any studio in all of Canada to notice me, I happened to send an application to Copernicus Studios in Halifax, Nova Scotia. The human resources department responded to my application saying that they weren’t hiring at the time, but they were gearing up to recruit for something that summer and may contact me again with the opportunity to do a test months down the line.

And that’s exactly what they did.

When I received the animation test from Copernicus, I was more determined than ever. I was going to dedicate as much time as I possibly could to making this test look the best it could be. I remember spending VERY late nights being very paranoid about every little detail and frantically looking up whatever I didn’t know about Toon Boom at the time. After I submitted my test, I was counting down the days for their response.

They got back to me in a reasonable amount of time and asked if I would be interested in a video interview. I was freaking out and wanted to make ABSOLUTELY sure I could impress. I cleaned up as well as I could and made sure to answer all their questions honestly and concisely.

And then . . . they officially offered me a role on the production. You can’t imagine the rush of joy that went through me when I first read that email. After years of grinding and twiddling my thumbs I finally broke my glass ceiling. The idea of a random kid from Alberta breaking into a niche industry like that with no college education was unheard of. They told me in the video interview that the contract was for a Netflix animated adaptation of a classic adult Canadian sitcom. At the time I thought it was going to be Corner Gas. It turned out to be Trailer Park Boys. Once we got the news, I celebrated with all my family and friends and my dad and I planned my move to Halifax; a city on the complete opposite side of the country.

This next bit has nothing to do with the animation stuff, I just think it’s an interesting tidbit to share:

At first, my dad and I were struggling to find a place for me to live in the city. The problem was that my new contract wanted me to start in late May, but every lease of every apartment naturally wants you to start living there the first of the month. But, the biggest stroke of luck in the universe would happen to me. My dad happened to call one apartment’s office and explained to them what my situation was and they said

“funny you should mention that . . .I have two tenants here in my office RIGHT NOW that are looking for somebody to sublease for them and they need to be moved out by May 25th. If Tom subleases for them he can be in there before June no problem.”

WHAT. ARE. THE. CHANCES. OF. THAT??????

My apartment’s previous tenants were super nice too. for a thousand dollars they gave me their double sized bed, their microwave, their working desk, their couch, their vacuum cleaner and a bunch of other things to help me get started. They also went out of their way to get me nice things like a laundry card with $20 on it, a map of Halifax, a cupboard stocked up with insta-noodles, some cheap cutlery and bowls. . . . they went super out of their way to be nice to me on my first move and I’ll never forget that.

At the time I thought a stroke of luck like that was a sign from God that I was pursuing my destiny. To this day I think that still might be true. My takeaway here is don’t give up no matter what. Even if things seem uncertain at times, perseverance and tenacity will pay off in the end.

So with that, I said goodbye to my family and friends and moved to Halifax to begin my adult life as a full time PROFESSIONAL animator. I felt like I could take on anything.

And that . . . wasn’t 100% true.

Part 5: Growing Pains

I was very excited to work on my first studio production in house and it was through this contract that I met some of my closest friends ever. I learned more about toon boom and animation in 3 months than I did in 3 years of freelancing. But it wasn’t all fun and games. In fact, a lot of it was VERY VERY stressful and I ended up making more mistakes than I care to admit. In retrospect it’s easy to forgive myself because that’s just what happens when you’re that green, especially with a journey as unorthodox as mine, but at the time I did NOT take it well at ALL. See, at this point I was 100% motivated to be the best artist I could possibly be. As far as I was concerned not much else in life mattered that much. And that made me toxic. I had a hard time emotionally with taking criticism for my work. I started getting argumentative with my friends. I overworked myself. I tried to have a sense of humor for my problems but the self deprecating jokes only made me feel worse. What followed was nearly 2 years of feeling what the industry pros call “imposter syndrome”. I had it BAD. But luckily, I get by with a little help from my friends. I started opening up about what I was going through and luckily the people around me have been very reassuring about my right to be where I am. But the feelings of inadequacy DID end up leaving a dent in my work at the time and by the time Copernicus was recruiting for another toon boom show, I was not one of the few selected. But there WAS an alternative. They had just opened up some positions for their flash show (which was Care Bears: Unlock the Magic). They gave me the opportunity to do the flash test and I accepted. At the time I didn’t know very much about Flash . . . like, at all . . . but I sat down to learn as much about it as I could in the week that I had and I had done JUST well enough on the test to get myself another contract. From then on I spent nearly a year mastering Flash. Then, I was eventually brought on to Curious George to help on shadows and revisions. Then, shortly after, Copernicus asked me if I’d be interested in doing the builds test. I said yes, learned a bunch of stuff on the fly and got that job too. That’s what I’m doing right now.

The takeaway here is more an important lesson for when you DO make it rather than your journey to that point. When you break into the industry, you’re going to be met with a LOT of challenges. this industry is highly competitive and highly demanding. It’s not enough to be a skilled artist; you also have to have the grit to be a dependable team member. Matter of fact, at a time when my skill wasn’t cutting it, my grit was what helped keep me from washing out. And also, don’t be afraid to try new things. In an industry as volatile as animation being a jack of all trades is a HUGE selling point.

My advice is stay determined and, more importantly . . .try not to let failure get to your heart. keep your head up, allow yourself to heal, and forgive your mistakes. You’re not always going to stick the landing, but that’s okay. If you stick with it, you’ll still come out of that situation with more than when you entered.

Conclusion:

So why did I share all of this? I shared it because I know a lot of young, aspiring artists out there are uncertain about their future. I know you might feel like you can’t do it because you don’t know everything or you don’t have all the right credentials or you might screw things up if you try. I want you to listen to your heart and pursue what you want anyway. If I can make it, you can too. And take pride in the story of your journey. If you succeed, even given your circumstances, your story will be valuable in a way that mine couldn’t possibly be. I know a lot of my success has to deal with inordinate luck and I will forever be grateful for that, but I will always be just as grateful that I had the fortitude for when times were at their toughest. Go out there. Make what you want to make. Do whatever you can to learn the basics even if you can’t go to college. Ask for help. Get as involved with a community as you can. Whatever you start, stick with it. Be patient. Embrace challenge. Take those leaps of faith. Finally . . . forgive yourself for the times that you fail.

To finish off this post, here is a montage representing my animation journey from 2014-2020. Best of luck, all you artists out there

https://www.facebook.com/tom.vankampen/posts/10221173577866185

[killian-whump]

2017 Retrospective

I got tagged to do this by @killianmesmalls - Thanks, love! I like being tagged in things :) Now, I don’t do fanart at all (unless you count positively dreadful photoshopping?) and I’ve only posted, like, a handful of bizarre writings... (three of which could arguably be called short one-shots, but most are just... weird skits and jokes and strange poetry).

But I do make GIF sets! So can I fill this out in regards to my GIFs? I guess since I plan on doing exactly that, you all better just say “yes” XD

Top 3 Faves: I have to admit that I have a soft spot for the GIF sets I’ve made that were best presented with a running commentary, as opposed to the ones that are just a group of GIFs with a collective caption. I especially like when the content gives me a chance to crack jokes, because I like doing that, haha. So in order of when I made them this past year, my 3 favorite GIF sets are: Before He Was a Sex God... 60 Seconds of Epic Colin Me Watching 7x07...

Which work didn’t get the love I wanted it to: This is a tough one. I’ve come to realize that there is literally no rhyme or reason to which GIFs get a lot of attention and which just sort of sputter and die. I’d have to say, in general, I’ve been disappointed by the lack of attention my non-Colin whump GIFs have gotten over at @whumpbound. That kinda cooled my jets as far as making more of those (she says as she plans a huge whump-only project for 2018...). I wouldn’t say anything else disappointed me, because I feel truly blessed that most of my GIF sets get double-digit note counts at all :D But it does surprise me that this literal orgasm these lovely faces Colin’s making clock in on the lower end of the popularity scale, and that the Rebel Heart GIFs don’t have more notes. I mean, they have plenty, but I think they’re the only GIFs that exist of Colin’s first TV appearance ever, but they don’t even have half the notes of a single GIF I made of Colin kicking a cup off a table. Yer all weird.

No one asked, but in case anyone’s wondering, one GIF set I’m absolutely NOT surprised didn’t get more notes is this one. Just saying. Apparently, seeing aliens literally acquire a taste of his face is... an acquired taste. bdm-tsh.

Which was the most challenging: Oh, boy. This one’s easy. Almost all of the GIFs from The Rite were the hardest GIFs to make. The film is so dark, and so hard to brighten without altering the coloring... UGH. And then just when I’d have the brightness at a decent level, I’d notice these weird patches of pixelation in the GIFs that just looked weird. This particular scene near the beginning was the absolute worst, as the brightness and coloring seemed inconsistent throughout the scene, like they filmed part of it with one lighting set-up and the rest with another. I ended up having to settle for a GIF set much darker than I liked, just in order to keep from drawing attention to the inconsistent lighting.

Which was the most successful: Another easy one, because on average, my most popular GIF sets get around 200 notes. Somehow, through some form of sorcery I don’t remotely understand, this one of Colin being adorable at the Denver Convention this year has over 900, making it easily my most popular GIF set. However, the most successful thing I’ve done this entire year has been this one meme ;)

What works/ideas do I have planned for 2018: I have one BIG project planned for 2018, which is to GIF as many of the scenes from Lash by Alvin Easter as I can find. I’ll be posting those on @whumpbound, of course ;) As for this blog, I’m going to continue my ongoing project of making GIFs of every single whumpy or otherwise relevant scene Colin’s ever been in. That means combing through Seasons 1-6 of Once Upon a Time (I’ve only been making GIFs of new episodes starting in S7), as well as GIFing The Euthanizer, finishing The Clinic, catching a few previously unGIFed moments in The Dust Storm and Carrie Pilby, and watching The Words more times than I can count (and maybe throwing some more GIFs of it out into the world, as if the world needs any more of them. I’m only human ;)

So there you have it! My 2017 Retrospective! I’d like to tag @cocohook38, @justsomewhump, @that-hurts and @pirate-owl - feel free to ignore it if you’ve already been tagged or don’t wanna do it :)

[entrepreneursbloguk]

New Post has been published on Entrepreneurs Blog

New Post has been published on https://www.entrepreneursblog.co.uk/blog/mr-beast-net-worth-year/

Mr Beast Net Worth [year]

Net Worth: $6 million Age: 21 Born: 7th May 1998 Country or Origin: United States of America Source of wealth: Social Media Entrepreneur Last updated: 2020

Introduction

MrBeast is a famous American YouTube SuperStar and a social media personality. As of December 2019, MrBeast’s YouTube channel has 27 million subscribers with more than 4 billion YouTube video views. 

He began his YouTube journey with his Worst Intros video series. MrBeast was nominated at the 11th Shorty Awards as the vlogger of the year. MrBeast is widely known for donating a lot of money to Twitch Streamers, the homeless and random strangers too. 

MrBeast started the TeamTress initiative in October 2019 and according to the video he made on his YouTube channel, he will be planting 20 million trees.

Early Life

Jimmy Donaldson popularly known as MrBeast was born on May 7, 1998, in Greenville, North Carolina. MrBeast attended Greenville Christian Academy. While in Greenville Christian Academy, MrBeast played both baseball and basketball. To focus more on his YouTube career, MrBeast dropped out of college. 

He is 6ft 3in tall and he is a Taurus. MrBeast has an estimated net worth of $6 million. Some of his videos are sponsored in the likes of Quidd, War Robots, Honey, TikTok, World of Tanks Blitz.

MrBeast also sells online merchandise like t-shirts, hats, hoodies via ShopMrBeast. He resides at Greenville, North Carolina. MrBeast is in a relationship with Maddy Spidell, an Instagram model.

Career

MrBeast launched a YouTube channel in February 2012. In the early days of his channel, his uploads were mostly on popular video games. These games are the likes of Minecraft, Pokemon, Call of Duty and Battle Pirates. Later on, he premieres his “Worst Intros” series. 

In this series, he made fun of intros used by popular YouTube Channels. This strategy worked well that it resulted in thousands of new followers flowing in. One of his most popular video in the “Worst Intros Ever” has been viewed more than 23 million times. 

MrBeast moved his YouTube channel towards more real-life videos after the huge success of “Worst Intros”. His new strategy has no clear formula and some videos take a huge amount of time to complete. In 2018, MrBeast launch ad campaign to support a fellow YouTuber, PewDieDie. He bought TV ads, radio and billboards among others. One of his videos, “I Gave A Homeless Man A Home” got 7+ million views in a day. 

Jimmy aka MrBeast utilises an attention-grabbing donation and charity stunts. In one of his videos, he opened a car dealership where he gave out cars for free. He is also known to have given out thousands of dollars to small streamers on Twitch and YouTube as well. He didn’t end there, MrBeast has extended his charity to waitresses and Uber drivers too.

Highlights

He has been described as “YouTube’s biggest philanthropist,” and frequently vlogs about his extreme acts of charity which include:

he has donated money to ”Attractive Twitch Streamers”;

he has donated $30,000 to a Fortnite Twitch streamer, known as SpaceLyon;

he had donated $30,000 to Ninja (an American YouTuber, eSports Gamer, and Twitch streamer who is mostly known for playing and streaming Fortnite on Twitch) to help the Suicide Prevention Center;

he gave $100,000 worth of items to homeless shelters in December 2018;

he tipped a waitress $10,000 for serving him two glasses of water;

he tipped a pizza deliveryman $10,000;

he has donated to a random homeless guy $10,000;

he has donated 3 million pennies ($30,000) to his 3 millionth subscriber;

he has donated $50,000 to Ninja to help St. Judes Cancer Research Charity.

Favourite Quotes

“One of the reasons I like giving away money is I just like to see how people react.” – Jimmy Donaldson (Mr Beast)

”If you’re not giving away $100,000, people aren’t watching your videos.” – Jimmy Donaldson (Mr Beast)

“I’d rather be poor than doing anything beside YouTube.” – Jimmy Donaldson (Mr Beast)

“If you want the special secret, if you want to know where it all came from — my parents aren’t that rich.” – Jimmy Donaldson (Mr Beast)

”I’m only 20 years old, every dollar I’ve ever made came from YouTube, and YouTube just pays better than you think.” – Jimmy Donaldson (Mr Beast)

“I genuinely enjoy helping people. It’s something I’ve had an issue with, I’m that much of a nice guy.” – Jimmy Donaldson (Mr Beast)

Life Lessons

How does Jimmy do it all? What is the secret to his success, and can we learn something from his success? Of course, we can, here are some life lessons that we can all use.

Start Wherever You Are With Whatever You Have

Jimmy did not have this type of success from the first day he started. He started making YouTube videos at the age of 13, and it took him six years to go viral and grab a lot of attention.

He used to make Let’s play-type of videos, where he recorded himself playing Minecraft a few years ago.

Those were his first videos, which only got around 1,000 views per month back at the time.

Now he usually gets more than 11 million views per video in the first two to three days after they’re published.

He started his channel on February 19, 2012, and got 20 million subscribers on June 18, 2019. This represents seven years, three months and 20 days.

Keep Experimenting Until You Find What Works

His content has changed over the years. From Let’s play-type of videos, he experimented with super-long videos with challenges like saying Keep Net Neutrality for ten hours straight and counting to 200,000.

Some of the rare challenges that he has done to start his virality series were:

Spin a fidget spinner for 24 hours straight

Say Pewdiepie 100,000 times non-stop

Count to 100,000, which took 48 hours

Watch paint dry for an hour

Read the entire dictionary in one sitting

He explains in a video that after donating $10,000 to a homeless man, he realised he liked helping people, so he continued doing it.

Keep Improving Your Craft

No matter how much success you have reached so far, you must continue learning, investing and improving. Mr Beast is an example of that.

“I used to make a dollar a day, so I didn’t even have a microphone. My mindset was just ‘reinvest everything I make’ — every time I got a paycheck, that was the month’s budget,” he says in an interview with the other popular YouTuber, Casey Neistat.

“So I saved up a dollar a day to buy a microphone. When I made a few thousand, I just spent a few thousand. When I made ten thousand, I just spent ten thousand. As I made more videos, I was like ‘I want to spend it on videos somehow.’”

Help Others As Much As You Can

He has helped many people so far, including his family, friends, and random strangers.

In September 2018, as a 20-year-old, he even managed to give his mother $100,000 and called this the “proudest day of my life”:

Enjoy the Process

Mr Beast also does seem to enjoy the process. At least, in the last few months, we could say, as he switched from doing seemingly weird challenges like Watching Paint Dry to arguably more interesting ones, like Last To Remove Hand, Gets Lamborghini Challenge.

This is also because he gets to work with his friends and does these entertaining challenges with them.

Be Consistent

You may be able to take a few lucky shots here and there, but the real challenge is to keep the consistency. 

If you want to keep getting such a large number of people following your content, you need to put in the work and keep producing.

He has been uploading regularly, putting out multiple videos per month, and getting more than 11 million views in all his videos in a matter of days.

This is pretty impressive. even when you compare him with PewDiePie, who is the second most subscribed YouTube channel, with 99,638,751 subscribers.

The more content he produces, the more likely it is for him to increase his exposure to new people from YouTube recommendations, social media shares, etc.

Summary

From the information gathered about Jimmy and his YouTube Channel, it is fair to say that Jimmy made his money via his YouTube Channel. MrBeast promotes the products of companies like TikTok, Lotto, Quid and others. YouTube pays between $2 to $5 for each 1k views. MrBeast gets about 7 million views per day. 

After doing the maths, MrBeast banks $14k to $20k daily from YouTube ads showing on his videos alone. That is a lot of money for the young creative YouTuber who create content that goes viral.

By December 2018, MrBeast had given out $1 million through his outlandish stunts, earning him the title of “YouTube’s biggest philanthropist.” MrBeast is a product of his viral content: He’s only able to give out these thousands of dollars thanks to six-figure brand deals to fund in-video ads.

[t-baba]

Black Friday 2019 for Designers and Developers

This article was created in partnership with Mekanism. Thank you for supporting the partners who make SitePoint possible.

Black Friday is one of the best opportunities of the year to get all kinds of new stuff, including digital web tools and services. Some companies are offering huge discounts to heavily increase their sales, while others already have excellent offers for their customers and partners.

In this article, you’ll find free and premium web tools and services, and also some of the best Black Friday WordPress deals. We included website builders, UI Kits, Admins themes, WordPress themes, effective logo and brand identity creators, and much more. There’s a web tool or service for everyone in this showcase of 38 excellent solutions.

Let’s start.

1. Free and Premium Bootstrap 4 Admin Themes and UI Kits

DashboardPack is one of the main suppliers of free and premium Bootstrap 4 admin themes and UI kits, being used by tens of thousands of people with great success. Here you’ll find free and premium themes, made with great attention to detail — HTML5 themes, React themes, Angular themes, and Vue themes.

On the DashboardPack website there’s a dedicated section of Freebies. Here there are four gorgeous dashboard themes (HTML, Angular, Vue, and React) that you can see as a live demo and use for free. Between November 29 and December 3, you have 50% discount for all templates and all license types (Personal, Developer, and Lifetime). Use this coupon code: MADBF50.

2. Total Theme

Total Theme is a super powerful and complete WordPress theme that is flexible, easy to use and customize. It has brilliant designs included, and other cool stuff.

With over 38k happy users, Total Theme is a popular WordPress theme. It comes loaded with over 80 builder modules, over 40 premade demos that can be installed with 1-click, 500 styling options, and a friendly and lightning-fast interface.

The premade demos cover niches like Business, One Page, Portfolio, Personal, Creative, Shop, Blog, Photography, and more. Total Theme will help you achieve pretty much any goal — from scratch using the included Visual Page Builder, or by editing a demo design.

A limited-time 50% off Total Theme offer is valid from November 26 2019 (12pm AEDT) through December 3 2019 (8pm AEDT). Discount already applied.

3. Tailor Brands

Imagine if your dream business idea had a name, a face, and branded documents that made it official. With Tailor Brands’ online logo maker and design tools, you can instantly turn that dream idea into a living, breathing company! Design a logo in 30 seconds, customize it to your liking, and put it on everything — from professional business cards to online presentations.

Tailor Brand’s mission is to be the biggest branding agency powered by AI. It’s a huge goal but it is achievable, and they already have a top position on this ladder.

Designing a logo with Tailor Brands is super simple and you don’t need any special skills or previous experience to get a top logo design. You write the logo name you like, add a tagline (optional step), indicate which industry is your logo is for, choose if you want an icon-, name- or initial-based logo, choose from left and right (you’ll get designs as examples), and the powerful AI will present you plenty of logo designs to choose from. It’s super simple and straightforward.

Go ahead and design a logo with Tailor Brands.

4. Freelance Taxes

Bonsai is the integrated suite of products used by the world’s best creative freelancers.

With the latest addition of freelance taxes to the product lineup, Bonsai is more prepared than ever to help with everything your freelance business needs.

Be prepared for tax season and spend just seconds getting an overview of what you owe in annual or quarterly taxes.

Bonsai’s freelance tax software looks at your expenses, automatically categorizes them, and highlights which are deductible and to what percentage.

All Bonsai products are deeply integrated with each other to ensure it can fit every work style. Other features you should know about include contracts, proposals, time-tracking, and invoicing.

Start your free trial of Bonsai today and be ready for your freelance taxes ahead of time!

5. Codester

Codester is a huge marketplace where web designers and developers can find thousands of premium scripts, codes, app templates, themes (of all kinds), plugins, graphics, and much more. Always check the Flash Sale section where hugely discounted items are being sold.

6. Mobile App Testing

With over eight years of experience, this App and Browser Testing service is powerful, easy to use and provides you with a big number of features tailored to help you improve your product. Use TestingBot for automated web and app testing, for live web and app testing, for visual testing, and much more.

Start a free, 14-day trial, no credit card required.

7. FunctionFox

The leading choice for creative professionals, FunctionFox gives you simple yet powerful time-tracking and project-management tools that allow you to keep multiple projects on track, forecast workloads, reduce communication breakdowns and stay on top of deadlines through project scheduling, task-based assignments, internal communication tools and comprehensive reporting. Don't let deadlines and due dates slip past!

Try a free demo today at FunctionFox.

8. Taskade: Simple Tasks, Notes, Chat

Taskade is a unified workspace where you can chat, write, and get work done with your team. Edit projects in real time. Chat and video conference on the same page. Keep track of tasks across multiple teams and workspaces. Plan, manage, and visualize projects. And much more.

With Taskade, you can build your own workspace templates. You can start from a blank page or you can choose between a Weekly Planner, Meeting Agenda, Project Board, Mindmap, and more (you'll find lots of templates to start with). Everything you need can be fully configured to be a perfect fit.

9. Live Chat Software

AppyPie is a professional and super-easy-to-use Live Chat solution that will help you reach out to your clients and offer them real-time responsive and support through your website and mobile, using the platform live chat software.

This is a brilliant way to quickly increase conversions, make more sales (you can answer questions from people that want to buy), and increase the level of happiness of your customers. (Whatever problem they may have, they know that you're there to help fast.)

Request an invite to test the platform.

10. Mobirise Website Builder

Mobirise is arguably the best website builder in 2019, which you can use to create fast, responsive, and Google-friendly websites in minutes, with zero coding, and only drag-and-drop.

This brilliant builder is loaded with over 2,000 awesome website templates to start with, with eCommerce and Shopping Cart, sliders, galleries, forms, popups, icons, and much more.

In this period there is a 94% discount, so take it.

11. Newsletter Templates

MailMunch is a powerful drag-and-drop builder that's loaded with tons of beautiful, pre-designed newsletter templates, with advanced features like Template Blocks and a Media Library to make the workflow even smoother, and a lot more. There's no coding required to use MailMunch.

Start boosting your conversions with MailMunch.

12. Astra Theme: Elementor Templates

Elementor is the most powerful website builder on the market, being used by millions of people with great success. To get out of the crowd, you can supercharge Elementor with 100+ free and premium templates, by using this bundle.

Free to use.

13. Schema Pro

Creating a schema markup is no longer a task! With a simple click and select interface you can set up a markup in minutes. All the markup configurations you will set are automatically applied to all selected pages and posts.

Get Schema Pro and outperform your competitors in search engines.

14. Rank Math SEO

Rank Math is the most powerful and easy-to-use WordPress SEO plugin on the market, making your website rank higher in search engines in no time. After a quick installation and setup, Rank Math SEO does the whole the job with no supervision.

The post Black Friday 2019 for Designers and Developers appeared first on SitePoint.

by SitePoint Sponsors via SitePoint https://ift.tt/34ywLub

[swelldomains]

Social Media`s Role in The American Election

It will be a popular pub test question for several years to come: That controversially won the 2016 United States Presidential election? We're uncertain the people of the future will still quite believe the solution is Donald Trump. Yet, on 8th November 2016, business mogul as well as fact star was handed the symbolic secrets to The White Home, regardless of really acquiring less private ballots compared to his opponent, Hillary Clinton.

But exactly how specifically did he do it? Was it his charming appeal or seem political understanding? Was it his inherent likability, expert Public Relations group as well as clever marketing? It really is impossible to recognize, but we think it contends least a little something to do with the sheer quantity of people that were engaged as well as intrigued by the election itself and Trump's policies.

Did Donald Trump make use of social networks extra effectively?

In terms of weekly engagement across all blog posts, Donald Trump certainly involved even more people.

Facebook Live additionally played a large duty in the elections. During October, Trump published 33 Live videos, whereas Clinton uploaded just a 3rd of that. Photographs, particularly those that included a quote, likewise created great involvement, though naturally Trump's blog posts were a little much more debatable. Perhaps the nature of his "out-there" messages actually, well, got his name out there.

If you scroll through Donald Trump's Facebook page, a surprising variety of his posts include the sentence 'Make The U.S.A. Safe Again' - this constant use of a motto/ catchphrase possibly embeded people's minds and also maintained Trump's project memorable.

Data researchers wrapped up that tweets sent out by apple iphone were probably Trump's advertising and marketing gurus tweeting in behalf of him, however his mad Android tweets were much more likely to be entered as well as sent by the guy himself - uncensored, tacky and also unapologetic. Whether this "real" approach helped or prevented Trump is yet to be analysed. A Church bench Research study Center Study revealed that 25% of people on standard adhered to political leaders, specifically so if they shared their own sights. Trump definitely did that!

Celebrity identities

It interested see "Prospect" become "Celeb" in this particular election, with both candidates' personal lives being put under the microscopic lense as well as, certainly, the callous spoken boxing suits that got hold of paper headlines throughout.

This animosity gave lots of enjoyment as well as normal public showdowns generated conversation throughout the world.

Arguably petty tweets soon bring about more abrasive ones ...

At several points, it felt like a public event similar to Large Sibling as opposed to an authentic election to find the right person to lead America.

Did more individuals vote thanks to social media?

When Facebook devoted its leading banner to encouraging customers to register to elect, it no doubt favorably influenced unsure citizens to at the very least register as well as make their last option even more down the line.

Fake information stories showing up on Facebook created a great deal of controversy. Defined by Obama as a "dust cloud of nonsense", those nonsense stories brought in hundreds of shares and comments. This aspect of construction bordering the discussion made it hard for individuals to truly know what was truth, and what was fiction.

Attention-grabbing headlines as well as deceptive fact-bending is rapid ending up being an easy means for publications to gather interest and interaction. BuzzFeed News discovered that "three huge right-wing Facebook pages released incorrect or deceptive information 38% of the time throughout the duration assessed, and also 3 huge left-wing web pages did so in nearly 20% of messages."

Further affecting the general public's engagement with the election, livestreaming all three major arguments was a strong step from Twitter. It interested see that around 3.1 individuals actually viewed the argument with the system. According to Twitter, Trump dominated 64% of the conversation during the 2nd significant discussion which mosts likely to reveal that not just were people viewing the discussion - they were involving with it.

A positive influence… or not

The probably extra human side of the election - the voters influenced - were also possibly influenced by social discussion. Out of favor opinions of any type of type have been wildly assaulted on public social networks such as Twitter and also if Facebook represents the place to share exclusive viewpoints, the political election has no question triggered friction in between private friendships and also relationships thanks to political point of views being aired openly. Today's sharing culture has been the ideal pressure stove for hot debate.

This was more confirmed by study from Accuracy Strategies: 59% of customers located going over politics on social media sites demanding and also aggravating. According to Precision Methods, "from January to October, 109 million Americans on Facebook generated 5.3 billion likes, articles, remarks and also shares regarding the political election" - so a lot of extremely stressed out prospective voters!

A Church bench Proving ground Study claimed that 20% of respondents had altered their minds about a prospect or political problem after seeing a conversation concerning it on social networks, showing that the Twittersphere and also comparable networks actually did play their component in this iconic election.

The memes were out in force

Of program, buffooning Facebook and also Twitter messages kept a lot of us amused throughout the political election. Sometimes of wonderful sadness (for some) as well as times of massive event (for the others), socials media were right there to record the feels.

We checked out the web's best political election reactions and also cherry selected our top five favourites.

1. Why organisations required to be additional cautious on political election night ...

2. As electronic online marketers, we couldn't withstand this one ...

3. Due to the fact that assistance and also depend on issues ...

4. We all said an unfortunate farewell to Obama ...

5. On behalf of Britain, America ...

A Winning Messaging Strategy

Johnny from our Public Relations team shares his ideas ...

One word that was bandied around by political commentators to explain Donald J. Trump was the word 'demagogue'. A quick assessment with dictionary.com gives this interpretation:

" an individual, especially an orator or political leader, who acquires power and also popularity by arousing the feelings, passions, as well as prejudices of the individuals"

Our great buddy the Cambridge Thesaurus states:

" a person, especially a politician, that wins support by amazing people's emotions rather compared to by having great concepts"

Certainly, Trump's less-than-coded statements concerning Muslims as well as Mexican individuals seem to have assisted him to hoover up voters with these prejudices. His incredibly regular use 'Uneven H' on Twitter to explain his opponent also made disgust and emotion a vital component of his social networks messaging approach, scooping up the affection of, as well as galvanising, those that really did not such as Hillary.

The Donald's campaign was seen by many as extremely policy-lite. Naturally, apart from his pledge to develop a huge wall, a lot of Trump's emphasis got on a catchy, remarkable slogan.

Now, don't claim we really did not caution you concerning the success of memorable slogans. During the EU vote back in June, Vote Leave won with a clear, straightforward messaging method that aroused enjoyment, optimism as well as hope - 'Reclaim Control'.

Trump's rallying cry 'Make America Great Again' ticks all the right boxes. By using passion, emotion as well as perhaps bias, Donald's PR team have actually gained from the success of the Leave campaign as well as have actually reaped the rewards.

It appears that Boris Johnson as well as Donald Trump have more alike than the very same dodgy barber.

For more insights on exactly how social networks customers react to the world's news, follow our Twitter and facebook pages.

[husid]

Wednesday Morning Punter - Super Bowl LIII Edition

How have you been the last eight years?

I, like most blog writers am just fine and not at all wallowing in existential doom questioning my own self-worth. But this isn’t about me, this is about you, the beloved readers. So back by the popular demand of no fewer than two people, is a special pre-Super Bowl edition of Wednesday Morning Punter!

Just in time for the final game of the NFL season before real football gets started, today’s issue will tackle a Super Bowl LIII preview, the all important Legacy Stakes, missing prop bets, the unenviable existence of a Patriots atheist living in Boston, and some NFL hodgepodge.

So without further ado, Let’s Punt!

What to Expect When You’re Projecting

What I can guarantee about tonight is that there will be nearly universal disappointment regarding the Super Bowl commercials, Maroon 5 will bring out a halftime show guest singer that will appeal to neither millennials nor baby boomers, and Twitter will have a much needed night focused on something other than Donald Trump, Howard Schultz or AOC.

What I cannot guarantee is just about everything else, starting with the winner of the game. Anecdotal research leads me to believe that most of the experts are picking the Patriots, which is incredible for a team that No One Believes In (more on that later), but it’s by no means a slam-dunk. We know that both teams deserve to be here (Saints fans may disagree, but one call aside, it’s impossible to conclude that both teams aren’t at the very least among the top two teams in their respective conferences). The Pats quickly worked out of an early 1-2 hole to reel off six straight wins and finish at a respectable if somewhat human 11-5, good enough for the AFC’s two-seed. The Rams were even more dominant, busting out of the gate with eight straight wins en route to a 13-3 record and the NFC’s two-seed. Both won their divisional playoff game relatively convincingly before squeezing out dramatic overtime victories in their conference championship games, thanks primarily to resilient offensive play. The two teams didn’t play other this year, but did have five common opponents, including the entire NFC North, and the Chiefs. I don’t put much stock into common opponents as a means of assessing a head-to-head advantage – both because strengths and weaknesses versus one opponent aren’t necessarily transitive, and because the highs and lows every team experiences in a season mean that an opponent one week does not equate to that same opponent on a different week – but for those of you who do, both the Rams and Pats beat the Chiefs in tight regular season games (and the Pats again two weeks ago), and each went 3-1 against NFC North opponents, with the Patriots losing a demoralizing week 3 matchup in Detroit, and the Rams falling in week 14 to Chicago in a defensive showdown.

Frankly, the Patriots are easy to predict. They’re going to show up with a solid game plan, Brady is going to be accurate and minimize mistakes, and the defense will play bend-but-don’t break defense to keep the Pats within striking distance at any point in the game.

The Rams, on the other hand, are a bit more of a wild card, despite being the more consistent team during the regular season. LA only has one offensive star (Todd Gurley), yet finished the year in the top-2 in total scoring and yards per game, and the top-5 in both rushing and passing. But Gurley disappeared two weeks ago (literally and figuratively), starting quarterback Jared Goff is still pretty green, and the Rams D is very much a middle-of-the-road unit.

So what will ultimately decide whether the scrappy Patriots will finally be able to celebrate in Foxborough, or LA pretends like it actually cares about pro football for at least an offseason? My best guess:

• The Gronking of Over-the-Hill House: No one’s worried about his post-game performance tonight at the Gold Club (I know it’s gone, but my knowledge of Georgia strip clubs begins and ends with that fabled establishment), but my confidence in his elite on-field level is not what it once was. Despite his ability to still make a big play, Gronkowski generally looks like a shell of his former self, and my money’s on Sunday being the last day he plays an NFL game. Of course when he’s playing to his ability, he’s one of the most unguardable players in football.

• Aaron Donald Has A Show: Donald was undoubtedly the best defensive player in the NFL this year (an NFL positional record 20.5 sacks for a defensive tackle), but oddly he’s still not quite a household name (the NFL’s refusal to market any defensive player other than JJ Watt could comprise a whole other post).  Fighting through double-teams and keeping Brady on his heels could be the key difference in whether TB12 is able to pick apart the Rams secondary, or is too uncomfortable to get into a consistent rhythm. There’s a good chance the whole country knows his name after tonight.

• From Dusk Till Sean: I can’t remember ever seeing a Sean this hot, and I live less than a mile from Southie. But lost in last week’s questionable victory was the fact that Rams coach Sean McVay was a missed pass interference call away from dealing with an entire offseason full of questions about his game plan. Since we still haven’t heard any indication that Todd Gurley was injured, his benching for most of the NFC Championship game is baffling. Giving your (and arguably the league’s) best player five total touches with a Super Bowl appearance on the line simply doesn’t add up – particularly since Gurley’s backup, CJ Anderson, was no more effective with his 17 touches – and a similar utilization of Gurley on Sunday will make Bill Belichick’s job a lot easier. If the rushing attack remains stymied, will McVay have Goff ready to shoulder the load? McVay is like that cool, mysterious guy who transfers to your high school for sophomore year but no one knows much about him. He might be the man, he might just be a boring introvert, but his parents are gone next weekend and he’s about to throw the first party at his place. Will he have enough booze? Will he invite those weirdos he went to school with last year? Will he freak out when the first Bud Ice (is that still a thing?) spills on the carpet? Will he trust his buddies enough to take care of things while he shows his crush where he practices his guitar? The spotlight is finally on. Be cool, Sean McVay, because high school kids can turn on you fast.

• Master of Run: It’s no secret that Gurley’s production had tailed off a bit, even before last week’s unjustified benching. Gurley has now eclipsed 100 yards rushing just once in his last four games. Maybe last game’s light load was a gift, Todd, but if he starts the Super Bowl rushing like he has since late December, will Gurley be able to do enough through the air to make an impact? Given his overall season, it’s pretty shocking that this is even a reasonable question.

• A Series of Gameplanned Events: Beginning with his plan to take Marshall Faulk out of Super Bowl XXXVI, Belichick has earned his reputation as a master tactician, which shone through in the Patriots next two Super Bowls (both victories). His track record since then has only further solidified his status as the best coach in NFL history, reaching six more Super Bowls and failing to make the playoffs just once since 2002, when Brady was shelved for the season (and Matt Cassel still led New England to an 11-5 record). But he’s just 2-3 in subsequent Super Bowls, and in each of the three losses he was squarely outcoached in at least one major facet of the game: His failure to account for the Giants ferocious pass rush rattled Brady all game in Super Bowl XLII and forced him to play dink-and-dunk football in Super Bowl XLVI, which neutralized his big-play ability. In last year’s Super Bowl, Belichick’s defense couldn’t find an answer for journeyman Nick Foles, and his thoroughly mediocre receiving corps. We’ll never know if BB’s head-scratching decision to bench struggling but proven starting cornerback Malcolm Butler (a legitimate explanation for which we still haven’t received) would have been the difference in the game, but it’s nearly impossible to conclude that Butler would have made the Patriots secondary worse on that day. So the question remains, will Belichick have an effective plan in place to mask his team’s weaknesses (the secondary) and accentuate its strengths (steady rushing attack, relentless short passing game), or will he fall victim to an unforeseen Rams wrinkle, or worse, his own ego?

• Santa Clarita Quiet: When Jeff Fisher went to Jared with the first overall pick in the 2016 draft, there were more than a few skeptics, all of whom seemed vindicated by Goff’s rookie campaign. Since McVay took over as Rams head coach in 2017, however, Goff has been nothing short of a top-tier quarterback, culminating in a 2018 in which he finished with a 101.1 passer rating (8th among qualified QBs), 4,688 passing yard (4th), 8.4 yards per attempt (4th), and 32 touchdowns (6th, though it should be noted that of the quarterbacks with more TDs, none had a top-tier RB for the entire season). But the fact remains that despite how great a season the Rams have had, the media attention thrust on pro football players in Los Angeles has landed somewhere between “Sugarfish No Longer Finds Bluefin Tuna to be Ethically Sourced” and “Ponytailed, Meisner-Reading Papyrus Employee Doesn’t Actually Have Passion for Stationary,” allowing Goff, who has never lived outside of California, to live a relatively pressure-free life. Since the playoffs started, Goff’s numbers have gone down a bit, as can be expected against better competition, and that on the surface isn’t alarming. But he’s about to play the biggest game of his life on the biggest stage in American sports, after two weeks of the most intense media scrutiny he’s ever experienced. Some quarterbacks wilt under that pressure, some excel, and others are simply unaffected (see: Manning, Eli).  We’ll see which bucket Goff falls into.

My Pick: Rams 29 Patriots 27 Confidence level: 2 In the Brady/Belichick era, each of their eight Super Bowl matchups has ended in a one-score game, and most of them have looked a lot more lopsided on paper before kickoff than this one. I picked the Patriots to beat the Eagles last year, refusing to believe that Belichick could lose to someone like Nick Foles in a Super Bowl. But ultimately players play the games and I don’t see a clear improvement in the Patriots defense from the one that gave up 41 points to the Eagles last year. Now they’re playing a much better offense and likely a better quarterback than Foles,  so much like the Chiefs game, the Patriots defense will have their hands full.

On the other side of the ball, the Patriots have Tom Brady, so any argument for why the Pats will win could justifiably end there. His receiving corps, while far from elite, seems to be gelling at the perfect time, and could not have been more clutch than they were against the Chiefs. The Rams defense on the whole won’t strike fear into Pats offensive coordinator Josh McDaniel’s heart, but Aaron Donald will be the toughest individual force he (or anyone in the league) will have to game plan for all season. I think Donald and Ndamukong Suh will be able to minimize rushing success for the Patriots, and will get just enough pressure to force Brady to get the ball out quickly and allow the Rams’ back seven to sit on the short outs and crossing routes that have allowed the Patriots to move the chains all season long.

But ultimately, in a one-score game – which I’m betting this will be – one play can make all the difference, and all the pre-game analysis is worthless. I don’t expect a true shootout, but I do see an offensive battle that ends with the Rams defense getting that one crucial stop down the stretch that the Chiefs failed to get two weeks ago. That said, your guess is as good as mine.

Other Super Bowl Notes and Tidbits

• The Defenders: The Patriots finished seventh in the league in scoring defense, but much of that has to be attributed to the dreadful offenses of the rest of the AFC East. In their six games against the Dolphins, Bills and Jets, the Pats D allowed 6, 7, 13, 33, 12 and 3 points. In four games against top-10 scoring offenses on the other hand, the Patriots gave up 24, 40, 31 and 17 points, to the Colts, Chiefs, Bears and Steelers, plus another 31 to the Chiefs two weeks ago. You’d think this would be a bad omen for New England as it prepares to stop the league’s second-most prolific offense, but despite the gaudy numbers allowed to elite offenses, the Patriots are 4-1 in those games. Essentially, while we can be confident the Rams will put up points, the type of game that would dictate that flow wouldn’t necessarily put the Patriots at a disadvantage.

• Oldzark: “Experience” is always talked about as a factor in determining who wins a big game, but I’m not sure that has a ton of merit, given that players have to be able to win big games to even get to the Super Bowl. Looking at the last ten Super Bowls, eight featured quarterback matchups in which only one starting QB had started a Super Bowl previously. In those matchups, the team with the Super Bowl-experienced quarterback is 4-4. Looking beyond the quarterback, teams that had been to the Super Bowl in the previous five years (an objective number, but one that’s likely to incorporate the team having an experienced, returning corps) are 3-3 when playing teams that had not been to the Super Bowl in that same span. Draw your own conclusions.

• The Vinatieri Method: Both teams should feel very comfortable with their kicking situation going into Sunday. Stephen Gostkowski has established himself as one of the most reliable field goal kickers of his generation, while Greg Zuerlein just KICKED A 57-YARD FIELD GOAL IN OVERTIME TO SEND HIS TEAM TO THE SUPER BOWL. Zuerlein was unfairly robbed of national glory, due to a brutal combination of the refs overshadowing the Rams win, and Joe Buck, as he’s wont to do, delivering the call of an incredible feat in an incredible situation as if he was narrating his wife picking up her first alimony payment before leaving the house for good. “Meredith will attempt to steal my money along with my soul… she has the check, she’s getting into the Tesla of Miles, a 30-something brand ambassador… AND SHE’S GONE! We’ll see you later tonight at the country club gala so as to keep up the appearance that we’re amicable divorcees!” Zuerlein actually sprained his foot at halftime of that game, which is something to be aware of, but given how he kicked in the second half and overtime, it’s not something I’d be too concerned about.

• Big Mouth: I could not be less interested in Media Day or any of the PR shenanigans that go on between the conference championships and the Super Bowl. I get why the NFL does it, and I’m sure journalists appreciate that they get something to write about beyond another position-by-position breakdown, but wake me up when it’s time to clock the national anthem length. That said, it’s worth taking note of all the players who basked in the glow of the media attention, because a good chunk of them will inevitably blame the media for stirring controversy down the road. Like it or not, the media has as much to do with sports being as popular as they are (and player contracts being as big as they are) than the players themselves. If you’re going to use it to your advantage when things are going well, you can’t bitch about the negative coverage when the good times stop rolling.

• Lost in Grace: Living in Boston and not being a Patriots fan sucks. Not because they always win, or because the Celtics and Bruins can be in the midst of playoff runs and the Boston sports media’s top story will still be which flavor Coolatta Gronk is going to be drinking in his upcoming Dunkin’ commercial, but because of all the faux-narratives that the team puts forth and the fans eat up. There was the “Patriot Way” which preached loyalty and selflessness, just to see Belichick ship off beloved stars and community staples like Lawyer Milloy, Richard Seymour and Chandler Jones (side note: I’m not saying these moves didn’t work out or were uncouth, just pointing out the disingenuousness of pretending to view your players as anything other than football players). There was the myth of only valuing team-first players, then signing guys like Corey Dillon, Randy Moss, Aaron Hernandez, Albert Haynesworth, Chad Johnson/Ochocinco, Brandon Meriwether and Josh Gordon. There’s still the idea that the team should never give the media any controversy fuel, while Belichick writes a letter of support to Donald Trump (that he had to know was going to be made public) and Brady displays a MAGA hat in his locker.

And now we’ve reached a new one, and possibly the most infuriating one. I understand that every team, at one point or another uses “no one believed in us” as a rallying cry or source of motivation, and sometimes its true and sometimes its not. But Xerxes and the Persian Empire had a more viable claim to the “no one believed in us” mentality after Thermopylae (read a book) than the Patriots do now. Brady and Belichick have presided over two separate dynasties in consecutive decades (for what it’s worth, I don’t think a team can go ten years between titles and still be considered a single dynasty) and are about as far from being an underdog year-to-year as any team since the 1960s Celtics. My problems with this whole charade are two-fold. First, it’s flat out wrong. Until this year’s AFC Championship game, the Patriots with Brady starting had not been underdogs IN 69 CONSECUTIVE GAMES. The chart below (courtesy of footballperspective.com) reveals as much, with the blue dots indicating regular season games, the red dots indicating playoff games, and the empty dots showing the four games Brady was suspended for to start the 2016 season. 

So not only is the narrative flat-out silly on the surface, it’s based on no evidence whatsoever. Yes, there are a lot of people who like to root against the Patriots, and there are some corny studio analysts looking for attention who will make exaggerated but transparent claims like “the Patriots era is over,” but not a single one of them is surprised that the Pats will be taking the field in Atlanta tonight.

The second part of this argument that really grinds my gears is that among the actual Patriots doubters, the vast majority live in New England. Listening to Boston sports radio all season, you’d think the Pats were flirting with a .500 record, and wondering whether they should just start tanking to move up in the draft. Sports bars around the region were filled with people lamenting Brady’s fall from best quarterback in football to merely top-5, wondering if the defense could stop a good offense in the playoffs, and pondering whether Matt Patricia was really the brains behind the whole operation (that last one is an exaggeration, but only slightly). So in essence, Patriots fans are projecting their team insecurity onto fans of the rest of the league –none of whom actually doubt the Patriots’ ability to win each game– and then criticizing the straw men they’ve created while they themselves doubt their team privately under the cover of a New England winter. It’s madness.

Listen, I get it. Winning is awesome, and it gets less awesome when that’s all that’s expected of you. No one roots for the house at a casino, no one is pulling for the shark in Jaws, and no one outside New England wants the Patriots to win, because they always win. So if you have to convince yourself that you’re not going to win because that makes it more fun when you inevitably do, go for it. But leave the rest of us out of it. Because even when we don’t think you’ll win, we still kind of do think you’ll win. That’s should be a badge of honor, not a knock.

Legacy Stakes

I usually like to do a section about what’s at stake for each team and its players from a legacy perspective. Sadly, this combination of teams doesn’t give me much to write about. The Pats can tie the Steelers for the most Super Bowl wins of all time (six), but Brady and Belichick are already the best quarterback and coach of all time, respectively, so another Super Bowl win pads their stats, as it were, but won’t do much in terms of validation. Sure, if they fall to 5-4 all-time in Super Bowls, it will give a little extra fodder for the people who say they’d rather be 4-0 in Super Bowls  (a la Joe Montana) than 5-4, but those people are woefully misguided anyway, so it’s hardly worth debate.

On the other side you have a team full of young stars, including its coach. Obviously winning a Super Bowl is a form of career validation regardless of when you win it, but no one on the Rams is even close to “can’t win the big one” territory, so the feel-good storyline of the wily old veteran finally winning a ring that we’ve had in years past (Charles Woodson with the Packers, Anquan Boldin with the Ravens, Demarcus Ware with the Broncos, etc.) is noticeably absent this year. The lone obvious exception is Ndamukong Suh, but he’s kind of an asshole, so I don’t think people are rooting hard for that story.

The Prop Bets That Weren’t

For those without a true dog in the fight, the best thing about the Super Bowl, aside from the food (bar food is the best food, don’t @ me), is the betting. Much like Adam Silver and ESPN, the general Super Bowl-watching populace has embraced casual betting more in recent years, leading once-cheeky prop bets like which Gatorade color will be poured on the winning coach or how long the national anthem will last to almost be considered passé.

Sadly, the creativity on prop bets has waned, forcing me to take matters into my own hands.  Place your bets before 6:00 EST (Just kidding…)

Ndamukong Suh Personal Foul Penalties Called (includes declined penalties) O/U .5

Tom Brady Berates An Official After Getting Knocked Over O/U 4.5

Tony Romo Accurately Predicts A Play Call Pre-Snap O/U 8.5

Age of the First Guest Singer to Join Maroon 5 O/U 38.5

Times I Consider Subscribing to the WWE Network During Halftime So I Can Watch Halftime Heat Instead of Maroon 5 O/U 5.5

Shots of Rams Fans Wearing Sunglasses Indoors O/U 326.5

Decibels Jim Nantz’ voice drops during the first CBS promo for the Masters O/U 46.5

References to Sean McVay’s Paid “Hold Me Back” Guy O/U 1.5

Commercials With Thinly Veiled Criticisms of Trump’s Immigration Policies O/U 2.5

Commercials For Movies Starring Dwayne Johnson O/U 3.5

Jim Nantz Refers to Romo as “Partner” O/U 5.5

Rams Fans at LA’s Super Bowl Parade (if applicable) O/U 13.5

Welp, that’s all I got for you today, folks. Next week we’ll have recap of the Super Bowl and its inevitable fallout, some non-football sports thoughts, and a little  TV/Oscars talk. Until then, thanks for reading, and keep punting!

[onceuponamirror]

Hi Sarah! Hope you are having a day as lovely as you are as a person

lmao well let’s not be so sacrilegious as to suggest i change my username!! i think no matter what i will always be onceuponamirror. i kind of backed myself into a corner (in the best way) with this url and icon, though i will say riverdale has thus far been the only show to come closest in terms of level of interest. so

anyway—aw, thank you! 

did you want my opinion on them as a ship, or as individuals? i’ll just answer both, lol 

i like them as a ship for sure, if not just for the pure sake of being people who are very much two sides of the same coin. both are incredibly quick, were raised with immense privilege, have a tendency towards manipulation by means of defense, but ultimately belying a desire for deep love and connection. very much two slytherin girls. 

in some ways i think they’re too alike to ever be a long term successful relationship, but there’s part of me that would really enjoy that tension and a really beautiful story that explores compatibility outside of love. like, you can have a lot of chemistry with a person and love them so much but not be able to overcome personality differences, and i think they would be a good opportunity why that could or could not work. the other, baser part of me just likes them together and that’s it. 

i digress. while pre-bankruptcy veronica was clearly even nastier than cheryl, veronica was also always surrounded by love, manipulative and tenuous as it was in hindsight. 

but even that was more than what cheryl got. it’s clear that the only positive attention and affection she received from anyone in her family was her brother. when veronica lost everything, she still had someone looking out for her. cheryl lost the only thing that mattered to her, and now struggles with attachment. 

so while i like cheryl x veronica in a lot of ways, i also don’t think any time soon would be the time for it even if the writers eventually chose that path—because cheryl doesn’t understand how to relate to people and is pretty far from being ready for any relationship, as of when i write this. 

even jason, it seems, she doesn’t really understand. she seems to struggle with his choice to run away with polly because while it’s obvious she wanted him to be happy, i think she also hasn’t processed it as an abandonment or betrayal. 

her relationship with him honestly reads as paternal in a lot of ways; jason protected her from their parents and when he left, kind of regardless of whether his death was faked or not, he would be exposing her to blame and likely abuse. but i don’t think she realized that until he was actually dead and this partnership she’d lived her whole life in was suddenly a void. 

so, in the last episode, when she tries to replace that partnership with archie, she’s sort of slapped in the face with the reminder that jason didn’t put her first either. so she turns on polly as well as a result; she feels jason chose polly over her, but probably loves his memory too much to blame him for that. 

tl;dr, so despite a real yearning for a meaningful connection, cheryl is very unstable because she has no support system. 

she pushes people away because she has trouble with empathy and doesn’t understand giving to get. beyond her brother (though arguably not) she only views relationships as extensions of herself and her desires, but she also is incredibly self-loathing, which basically translates into hating everyone. 

in my own reading of her, and i don’t know if the writers are aware of the way they’ve written her and have done it deliberately or just engaged tropes of gothic heroines born out of the era of the “hysterical woman,” she appears to be bipolar. 

she has very high-highs and very low-lows, simplifies complex situations, looks at the world in black and white terms, and has visible sudden mood swings.

(disclaimer: i’m no professional but my mother is bipolar and i know the diagnosis very, very well) 

i think madelaine is doing a great job living in these nuances (she’s particularly good at intonation and voice) and fleshing out a chaotic character; cheryl is very engaging and i’m interested in her story/seeing where this goes. 

anyway. veronica. i’ve kind of already spoken to my interpretation of her character here, but i’ll add that i’m really intrigued by her self-awareness and conscious effort to kindness out of genuine desire to be a better person. 

like, one of the things i always struggled with liking regina’s character on ouat was that i can’t stand lack of accountability. when a character isn’t self-aware and/or isn’t on the path towards it, i just can’t really relate to them. so i feel like i’m getting that instead from veronica and i really like it! 

i sort of feel like we’re not at the tip of the iceberg with her yet though. i think we’re like, 20 proverbial feet away. and i kind of exhausted myself talking about cheryl…if you have a more specific veronica question, just ask! 

also wow this was so rambling and unfocused but i hope it answered your question! please feel free to send me more riverdale questions, it’s been really fun meta’ing some new characters.