#thanks paula

[rolandkaros]

tennis players as tweets pt. 3 [1][2]

[beefycupcakes]

My EarthBound art ever

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Mousey, I'm sure you've done the reaction of the vanilla and expanded spouses to the farmer's curse from Mr. Qi, but how about the rsv spouses? I'd be curious to see what they'd do about it ~~especially you know who *wink wink nudge nudge*~~ Also ngl I've been trying to come up with more silly ships with the vanilla and mod characters and having a blast in my mind. I've been throwing in Isaac, Jadu, Camilla, and Alesia there too for good measure because I think Isaac especially would suffer with certain characters 😂 istg it's like I'm a dog and he's my chewing toy

Hehee, I wouldn't mind hearing what other funny ships you have in mind 👀👀👀

Sorry for a long reply, it turned out WAY more than I had planned. Anyway, enjoy some headcanon, Lotus! And have a great day! 💕

RSV spouses react to the Qi fruit:

_________________________________________

Ian had been standing still for about two minutes now, keeping his eyes on the strange blue fruit that was ripening in the Farmer's seedbed. Because he could have sworn that the fruit winked at him.... with 'glasses'! And the handyman thought he'd seen it again. But at the third minute, Ian gave up and reckoned he was just wasting time. "I really don't understand anything about farming," Ian told Farmer, kissed them, and went to work.

Daia isn't the type to be surprised by strange magical fruits, flowers and berries. The Ridge Forest alone is filled with interesting plants with unusual properties. But this 'Qi' fruit... Hmph, even she hadn't seen anything like it. Being around this smirking blue fruit makes the ninja feel a tingling sensation on her skin - a sure sign that magic is involved. Oh, she can't wait to ask her dear Farmer to give her the fruit to examine, because she's so curious about it! She wondered if it would interest her Lady too...

"Wow... I knew you are a true professional at farming, hon, but to do something like this..." Honestly, Jeric was delighted at what his partner had grown and horrified at what his partner had grown. Because on the one hand - fruit with a face and sunglasses, that's awesome! And on the other hand.... why? He certainly wouldn't have imagined something like this on his own little farm in Ridgeside Village. And it's unlikely he had the knowledge to grow something like this. "....So, what does it taste like?"

Bryle was ashamed to admit it, but the first thing he did when he stepped onto the farmhouse porch was reflexively draw his service weapon and prepare to defend himself. Because the Governor's slightly sleepy bodyguard mistook the blue-faced crops in sunglasses for invaders or even dark spirits. Having already recovered from his shock and seeing the calm Farmer watering this very crop, Bryle felt that by asking what it was, he would get more questions than answers. So he was like: "Nope, not today" and went back to the farmhouse.

When some time ago Irene had only seen the sprouts with the not yet formed blue fruit, she was even intrigued to see what kind of 'unusual fruit' Farmer had planted and what the crop would taste like. Sweet, or maybe with sour notes? Only when she got the ripe fruit on the kitchen table, the Amethyne's personal chef was no longer so enthusiastic. This... fruits looks like a head and was looking at her. Irene's afraid to even touch the 'Qi' fruit, much less taste it. Her Madame would definitely not want such an.... exotic crop for dinner.

Sean decided it would be a hilarious to wreak havoc in the local social media groups with this fruit. So, with Farmer's permission, he took a picture of the ripened 'Qi fruit', posted the picture to social media without any description, and waited. An hour and a half in and Sean and Farmer were dying of laughter reading people's reactions, all sorts of conspiracy about the harvest and even memes (lol). He was also hoping someone would leave a comment about what the fruit was, because Farmer's explanation of "blue fruit from blue seeds from a blue man" wasn't a very clear answer.

"Alissa, my dear. What is this?" Alissa can't give a clear answer to her mother when she shows her the unusual fruit. It seems to Alissa that her dear spouse Farmer themself does not know the answer to this question. The girl was utterly perplexed, and neither her own knowledge of farming, nor a single book from the library about crops, helped her to find the answer. She hoped that Farmer had not used something harmful to grow this fruit...

"What's this abomination growing in your garden? Why is there foreign magic coming from that thing?" Jio is in full earnest preparing for a defensive pose with his katana, because that 'Qi' fruit looks like it's about to pounce on him and Farmer. Elf doesn't trust this crop, whatever it is in the first place. And when asked how Farmer grew this stuff in the first place, the answer struck Jio like lightning. "You... took strange seeds from a suspicious man and thought it would be a great idea to plant them?" Yeah, It's going to be a long conversation...

Not even strength and persuasion from Farmer will be enough to keep their spouse Maddie from her determination to get into the Water Research Facility & Laboratory with this strange fruit. Because the ginger girl has to find out what it is in the first place! After all, the lab assistant was also watching the process of the Qi fruit's growth, for she was curious about what Farmer was growing. And when the already ripe fruit showed its face with sunglasses, Maddie wants to show it to Aguar to see how to even classify it. Sigh, not Aguar, if he found out there was magic involved...

"Whoa... So creepy... It's like some kind of comic book villain." Phillip kept twisting and twisting the "Qi" fruit in his hands, looking at the "face" of the crop, and even tried to take off the "glasses". It didn't work, however, because it was like they were super glued on. Oh, well. And although the physical therapist is eager to find out what this miracle fruit tastes like, he still wants to take precautions and find some information about the Qi fruit, because maybe it's poisonous???

Blair nearly died laughing when she saw the face of the ripe blue fruit. "Yoba, what a bogeyman!" And how on earth did her partner Farmer manage to grow a fruit with a face like that? Oh, she wants to take a few if Farmer agrees. To taste it? No, the young fisherwoman had thought of a more fun use for this crop.... Such an ugly fruit would definitely be a good way to prank Keahi for the last prank, hee hee hee... Just a harmless joke, Blair promises!

...Anton thought at first that he hadn't fully woken up in the morning, and that he had just imagined a blue face on the kitchen table. Except that when the architect came back from the bathroom already fresh and invigorated from a cold shower, the face had not disappeared from the kitchen table. ...Ok, and then what? How should he even react? And should he even be reacting to this? Because Farmer is not perplexed by the strange fruit in any way, they treat it like a normal apple or banana. ...Alright, then. Anton silently hopes he doesn't get "sunglasses" from this fruit in his portion of salad.

Well done, Farmer, just great! Making Flor nearly faint because they decided to put some ripe Qi fruit on the dinner table before going to bed, without warning the red-haired spouse for doing so. The poor, sleepy girl wanted to drink a glass of water at midnight, but she ended up throwing it all on the floor and screaming, mistaking the fruit for human heads. Now Farmer is ashamed now... And rightly so - they shouldn't scare Flor like that!

Kiarra's face twisted at what she saw. "Honey, you didn't use any fertiliser or seeds from Joja, right? You didn't take anything from them?" Her first guess as to the origin of this strange fruit was immediately the much disliked greedy company with the blue logo. Joja always like to spoil pump vegetables and fruits with all sorts of harmful substances of unknown origin to make them bigger, and as a consequence - to sell them for more money. Even when Farmer explained to her that it wasn't Joja, the girl still remained sceptical. Because it's... not natural. Something is wrong.

Zayne thought that it would be at least tactless and rude of him to voice his first thought out loud when Farmer presented them with the 'fruit of their labours'. Especially since he loved his spouse and knew what a wonderful farmer they are, unrivalled in the entire Republic. But... What is it? The Amethyne family heir has seen some rather unusual and sometimes even strange delicacies on his own dinner table and on the tables of other noble families. But a fruit with a face... Someone, who apparently ordered Farmer to grow the fruit just so, has... a very specific flavour.

"Ew," was Ysabelle's only reaction, and to be honest - many would have agreed with her conclusion about the blue fruit with the snickering face and sunglasses. Even Farmer didn't argue with their partner's opinion about it. Really, ew (no offence, Mr. Qi). The girl simultaneously wants to ask what this fruit is and doesn't want to know anything about it, figuring it will be further questions than answers. People in the hotel have demanded stranger foods and delicacies, so the blue face fruit isn't too much of a shock to her. But still - ew.

"Hmm, why the face?" How does Farmer know, Paula? When they took the assignment from a, ahem, familiar person, they had no idea that the 'Qi fruit' would turn out to be exactly like this - a bit creepy, with a human face (but cool glasses!). The military medic wasn't too surprised by this weird crop (she'd seen much stranger food), and if the fruit wasn't poisonous and wasn't an allergy sufferer's worst nightmare, why not give it a try. "Heh, I wonder if anyone would dare to try this food on a dare"

"No, thank you, my soul. I'm good with an apple," June politely declined as Farmer, having harvested a ripe crop from the greenhouse, brought June a whole basket of different fruits and berries from all seasons to the farmhouse. His favourite apples, strawberries, oranges, pomegranate, a blue fruit with a face- Wait, what? Did he see that right? Yeah, the pianist's eyesight was not deceiving him. Later, he'll be asking Farmer questions about the blue weird fruit. In the meantime, he just wants to enjoy the apple.

When Faye thought of fresh fruit salad, she imagined cutting up a juicy and sweet mango, a ripe, with the sour notes pineapple, a delicious banana, and fill it up it with fresh orange juice. And at the sight of the Qi fruit, the waitress honestly lost her appetite. Is it... really a fruit? Why does it look so scary? It's also smiling... Oh, yuck! Farmer, that fruit winked at her! Brrr! No weird blue fruits on the dinning table, they're scary!

Shiro jumped up sharply, almost scalding hot, when he saw a field of a hundred blue smiling heads from the porch. Everywhere he turned his head, there they were: smiling, the light bouncing off their... Glasses? What the hell is that, anyway? "People want to buy fruit like that? With a scary face?" No, he's not going to try it, and the Farmer isn't advised to either. It doesn't look good, and it probably doesn't taste good anyway- No, Farmer, making this 'Qi' fruit into a smoothie isn't a good idea either... Just don't, please.

Corine never thought people could come up with something like this with crop. Well, she'd seen square watermelons, heart-shaped pears, and even star-shaped peaches on TV. But a melon-sized blue fruit that also had a human face..... Even she didn't expect that. Really, she doesn't understand why the Farmer glued it on. "Oh, I didn't glue the glasses on, dear, they grew with the fruit!" Sorry, the glasses did what?

"No offence, dear, but I'll probably pass." Oh, Farmer didn't grow this fruit for food, but for someone personally? Whew, what a relief... Um, Kenneth didn't mean to be rude or offend Farmer in any way, but the mere thought of that Qi fruit that very much resembled a head being cut with a knife made him cringe and disgusted. The inventor doesn't understand who needs fruit grown in this way, but he's not good at farming, so Kenneth will leave the matter to his spouse.

[rodlaveraryna]

graf cup brainworms

we! deserve! a wta! laver! cup!

i mean, just look at the wta rankings. a wta laver cup would be a lot more competitive and balanced and fun than the atp version and it would also be grounds for a bunch of great player interactions that we deserve, so i'll be going over teams :)

graf cup is named after legend steffi graf, one of three singles players in the open era to win a calendar year grand slam. the other two are rod laver, who the laver cup is named for, and margaret court, a bigot. it will be held in berlin at uber arena, same location as the atp version. yk, if this was real.

also, i have no clue how teams are made for the actual laver cup. i just made these teams because i can. i'm the tournament director of this nonexistent tournament. what are you gonna do?

team europe

edit 4/23: i had no idea navratilova was such a piece of shit lord… alternative captain suggestions are much appreciated

team roster: ― iga swiatek ― aryna sabalenka ― daria kasatkina ― jasmine paolini ― mirra andreeva ― paula badosa

notes team europe:

― i NEED daria and natalia to give us some bomb ass graf cup vlogs. i just know they would give us the best interviews and behind the scenes look at how it all goes.

― aryna and jasmine are both great in singles and doubles so that's def something they can use to their advantage

― honestly seeing players i like interact with each other was like. a major part in selecting these teams. idk i just feel like everyone here is so lovely and amazing and that's only going to be heightened because of the not super competitive atmosphere

― i have a massive soft spot for mirra. i think everyone who knows her does. i would love to see the whole team just absolutely adoring her

― iga and aryna becoming friends??? maybe??? i like my rivalries sweet off court and fiery on court so it'll be nice seeing them interact

― can't forget the best friendship in tennis aka sabadosa!!! lowkey i don't ship them because they just remind me of me with my best friends but i think a really close platonic relationship like that is SO important and valuable and i'm really glad they have each other like that.

team world

team roster: ― coco gauff ― elena rybakina ― ons jabeur ― zheng qinwen ― emma navarro ― leylah fernandez

team world notes:

― emma and coco feel like they would be a great pair. they're both close with ben it seems so i feel like they would be friends. also they're professional american tennis players. to use some terminology from @fritzes, american idiot solidarity

― the difference in vibe between coco and elena will be absolutely hilarious. i think they'd get along don't get me wrong it's just funny they seem so opposite to me. would love to see them play some doubles together that would be so fun...

― honestly i feel like all doubles permutations in this team would be so funny. if any of these people actually played doubles together (besides coco/emma/leylah with each other) i would be like "what the fuck is she playing doubles with her????" and i think that's beautiful.

― not to make too many comparisons with the laver cup but team world here isn't just america ft. canada. that shouldn't be a super tall order because this is team WORLD but we've all seen the trends for teams in the mens version.

― everyone loves ons yall. including team europe. we all just love ons so much.

― i'm ngl i don't have too many ultra specific notes for this team i just think it'll be good vibes and good tennis. it'll also be very appealing for me personally because i love all of these players and i know most of tennisblr loves them too :)

[parappa-and-his-crew]

hi everyone! :)

[dont-hug-me-its-yuri]

Hiii!!! I wanted to tell you that you're super duper cool and I love all your Coffin headcannons and that they fill me with a lot of joy okay byeee!!!!! ^_^

AHHH!! Thank you so much actually!!! Uh…have a shitpost for thanks!!

[r3mini]

Did you know that jellyfish have no brain and no heart?)

the fact that they are brainless i knew, but that they had no heart..... 🤯🤯🤯 i leanerd smtjing new

hehehehehhehksjrkwbrkenrm

[mmhm-vids]

Title: caught in a hit & run

Fandom: Clue (1985)

Vidder: turquoisetumult

Song: Straight Up | Artist: Paula Abdul

Category: fun, shenanigans

Length: ~1:51

Summary: Straight up, the party at this New England mansion got a bit out-of-hand.

Warning: canon typical violence, physical triggers (quick cuts/flashing lights)

[good-to-drive]

your girls5eva posting has got me curious.. i've never heard of it but the screenshots you post are so funny. where can i watch it?

This right here is why I exist. I was put on this earth to schill for niche TV shows that I love and I will not stop until god himself strikes me down.

It's on Netflix right now!! I'm really hoping for a Netflix bump because it's been criminally underrated for three seasons (or at least underwatched, it has a 100% critic rating on rotten tomatoes iirc).

It's honestly one of the funniest things out there right now imho, the plot centers around a 2000s girl group one-hit wonder reuniting in their 40s and trying to make the big times. It's really about female friendship and mature womanhood and following your dreams and really sharp, incisive cultural satire, but it also has a lot of really on-the-nose nostalgia if you can remember the 2000s and most of the writers and actors are also musicians (main character is played by Sara Bareilles!) so the musical references are rapid fire and span pretty much every genre. There's also a really delightful Get Back parody, too, that could only have been made by a MASSIVE Beatles fan.

[immagrosscandy]

drawings i had since last year that i never finished

so i finished them

goddamn redundancy

[911whatsyourgratitude]

Really the whole Diaz fam!

Send Your Favorite Guest Star/Recurring Role!

[dolores-hazy]

I just dislike guys at a visceral level. The whole might makes right thing violent subtext in every interaction they make my skin crawl.

My secret

Binding bending

Until breaking

And entering impatient

To stake a claim

Heavy breathing bleeding

Breeding the order of things

Breaking fresh-baked bread

Over bloated bruised body

Sweeping crumbs out to pasture

One hand clutching

A broom, the other his

Cock crowing a new day

Bills to feed and mouths to pay

Be a dear and clear the table

Dessert is on you tonight

Home sweet home sweet

Cherry pie cyanide

One hell of a life

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

I have a question about Freddie and Lola from Ridgeside village? I like to think they kind of become second grandparents to the farmer after they gain their trust.

Anyways...how might they react to the Farmer's spouses (or roommates like Krobus and Apples)? I think they would approve of Harvey (classic approving of a doctor), or Abigail (another adventurer with a spark). I think they might be at odds with bachelors like Jio, though, given their past!

Ok, as I see it, Lola and Freddie will treat almost all candidates relatively the same - polite, happy that their dear friend Farmer has found their true love. So let's look at a few candidates to whom retired adventurers will have a slightly different reaction. Thanks for the question, and enjoy! 🫰💕

_________________________________________

"A talking apple! Only recently there were rumours of a rolling kiwi! It's like some kind of 'Fruitside' Village, ha ha!" While Freddie tried not to burst out laughing, Lola apologised for her husband. She's still a little surprised that instead of a partner, their Farmer now has a forest spirit, Apples, living with them. On the other hand, she and her husband have seen a lot of strange things during their missions, and the existence of spirits and magic is not new to her. A sweet creature, kind and energetic. The main thing is that Farmer is happy with their new neighbour.

"Ah, the paths of two adventurers crossed.... That's how Freddie and I met when we were young!" Lola reminisces fondly about her past, telling Abigail/Lance all of this and noting that he/she and Farmer are the spitting image of Lola and Freddie in their youth. Freddie holds his wife's hand and adds more details from their incredible adventures, how they met and fell in love (he'll leave the tragic moments untold). The old couple will always welcome two adventurers into their home for a cup of tea, not forgetting to give the youngsters advice that will help them in their future missions and perhaps save a life.

Oh, Freddie and Lola have known Dr. Harvey/Dr. Paula for a long time, and know very well what kind and wonderful young people they are. Farmers has chosen an excellent candidate, and the old folks believe the young couple will have many happy years together. "Plus you'll definitely get a discount on wound care, considering your spouse is a doctor! Ha ha!" "Freddie!" "Okay, honey, I was just kidding, hee hee. But anyway, congrats!"

In Daia's/Jio's case... Well, it's going to be pretty awkward. Even though the old couple would politely greet Farmer's new partner, there would be tension in the air. It seemed to Farmer that the assassins from different groups seemed to find common ground quickly. Then they remembered they're assassins from different groups... who might not get along... Yeah, awkward. It's Farmer who doesn't know yet that their paths crossed, but Daia talked Jio out of a thorough reconnaissance back then (a wise decision). It'll take them all a long time to get used to each other.

Although Freddy, like his wife, was already quite elderly, his trained hand reached for the hilt of the hidden dagger when Farmer introduced their neighbour, a shadow person named Krobus. This was definitely not the turn they had expected.... But, this Krobus, it turns out, can speak human language and is very kind and polite. Even more polite than some of the people Lola and Freddie have had to work with before. Strangely and unaccustomed, Freddie is the first to befriend Farmer's new friend, later Lola (after some time).

"Oh, Mr Aguar's friend? Pleased to meet you, Mr. Rasmodius." Other than the fact that Freddie and Lola knew of the Wizard's residence in the Stardew Valley and that he was related to Aguar, they knew nothing else about him. They hadn't taken much interest in the Wizard before, but since Farmer was now connected to him, it was worth getting to know him. Older people aren't afraid of him, of course not. After all, Magnus is a friend and colleague of Marlon and Gil. It's just that usually the wizards and witches that retired adventurers met were, to put it mildly, not the most pleasant individuals (mostly villains to be destroyed). Magnus seems quite kind and calm tho, but the old folks will keep an eye on him.

[tampon-on-the-sidewalk]

Not me going down a deep dive of Vain Elämää clips and covers instead of drawing