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bambisspeckles · 1 month

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A Cigarette, A Guiding Light, My Guardian Angel

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

*pics for aesthetic purposes only!

CW: simon is kinda gross (its my fav simon im sorry), depictions of a mildly unhealthy relationship but everyones happy, reader is going through it, simon also has his own issues but nothing is specifically mentioned, very light religious themes (literally one paragraph), simon is also a little mean but like teasing mean, mild editing, lmk if i missed anything!!

WC: 3.6k (oops!)

Summary: Simon finds a stray, only it's not an animal: It's you.

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It's winter again.

The cold, biting air nips at your skin as you wander the streets streets of Manchester, your mind in a constant daze. You've been wandering for awhile now, traveling on trains, staying in hostels, shelters, and sketchy hotels, with no place to call home, the one you once had a place you vowed never to return to. It's scary, lonely, the world feels so big when you wander with only the clothes on your back and a few things to your name.

You get desperate, especially during times like this. It's so cold out and your winter coat is wearing, seams splitting apart, and new holes appearing on the fabric everyday. You've tried shelters but most are full, not that you'd be able to afford to stay long anyhow, and hostels in Manchester cost too much per night. You're exhausted, your feet blistering, and your shitty winter boots are rubbing against the back of your ankle. You feel much like the sky above, dark, gray, cloudy.

Sometimes you consider knocking on peoples doors, begging for shelter and a hot meal but the fantasy ends as quickly as it begins, there's no point in begging for something people won't give you. You don't entirely blame these hypothetical strangers though, the world is crazy and hard, most of them are probably barely holding on themselves, how could you expect them to take care of you, even if only for a night. Not to mention it's dangerous for them, what if you're crazy? You're not but they don't know that. You don't know if they're crazy either.

That might be a chance you're willing to take though.

The sun is beginning to set and the air is growing frostier by the minute, you know shops will close soon so you'll only be able to camp out in them for so long. You wonder if it's even worth it, going into a nice warm cafe only to be kicked to the bitter cold is almost worst than just staying it, the warm and cozy atmosphere taunting you with what you can't have. It's cruel, begging on the street, the looks of pity from strangers, it all feels like one humiliation game, like god is taking pleasure in watching you lie down like a kicked dog.

Some nights you beg him to take you out, others you beg him to provide you hope, a guiding light, a guardian angel, anything that might give you hope to keep trudging on. It is said in times of struggle people either turn to god, or walk away from him.

You think you're somewhere in between.

Something snaps you out of your thoughts, a shadowy figure walking down a dark alleyway you were passing by. You know better than to follow monsters into the dark, and maybe if you were still the girl you once knew, you'd shrug it off and continue down the sidewalk, just like anyone else would. Only you're not like anyone else now. You're detached from society, the dirt on the bottom of people's shoes, you're not even sure you're seen as human anymore.

You can call but no one will answer.

It's normal for your, how have people put it? Your kind, to reside in alleyways, dark hallways the rest of the world wouldn't dare to touch. It's where the dirty go, the sick go, the broken go. You think you fit that bill well now, and since you do, you ignore the way your gut screams at you to turn around, and run back to the light. You've learned there is no hope in the light, so perhaps you'll find it in the dark. You walk further into the alley, the darkness making it feel like a never-ending tunnel. Everything you expect to be there is there, used needles and empty bottles, bodies slumped over, you're not quite sure if they're dead or alive.

Dirty. Broken. Sick.

Everything is there, everything except what you're looking for. You not even sure what it is, all you know is that you haven't found it yet. Perhaps it's not a thing you're looking for, maybe it's a person. Darkness envelopes you like a cold, uncomforting blanket, it feels like tendrils of murkiness are wrapping around your body, pulling you further into your own misery. You're not really sure how long you walked, it was likely only a few minutes but with the state of your mind it felt like hours. You can tell you've finally reached the end when you can squint and see a brick wall in front of you.

God, what did you expect. It was a whole load of nothing, of course it was. The cold was probably getting to you and you can't imagine you're in the best mental state at the moment, of course you're not! You just walked down a dark alleyway, I mean no one willingly does that unless they're mentally unwell and-

"You shouldn' follow strange men into dark alleyways girl." A deep, gravelly voice pulls you out of your thoughts. You take a quick moment to collect yourself, your voice practically a squeak as you talk.

"W- what makes you think I was following you." The man laughs at that and you finally turn to look in his direction, the orange glow of a cigarette butt guiding your gaze towards him.

'Wha' else would you be following? Or are you tryin' to tell me you walked down an alleyway jus' cause." There's a cocky, almost teasing lilt in his voice. It makes you scowl, not that he can see.

"I don't know why I came down here." You reply honestly and there's a helplessness that unwillingly seeps through your voice. You're afraid it reveals too much.

You hear the man huff at your words before he speaks again.

"Go home. S' not safe for such a little' bird like you to be out here all alone." You faintly feel the thick smoke from his cigarette as he blows out, tendrils of ash caressing your skin

"I don't have one, not anymore." You're not sure why you tell him this. He doesn't care, he can't save you.

Perhaps, foolishly, you hope he will.

"Bit dramatic are you?" The man takes another drag of his cigarette and you huff at is words.

"I'm not being dramatic, it's true. I don't have a home, I thought it'd be obvious with my unsightly appearance." He chuckles at that.

"Can't see you well in the dark… Perhaps we should step into the light, hm?" You hear the man shift in place for a moment, the sound of ruffling clothes filling your ears.

"There's not much to see in the light either." There's a beat of silence before the man speaks once more, his shadowy figure leaning closer to you.

"Come home with me bird." It's more of a demand than a question.

"I'm not some whore for hire." The bite in your voice causes him to grunt rather harshly, flecks of orange ember falling onto your skin.

"M' not tryin' to fuck you. Said' you got no where to go, m' offerin' you a place to stay. Take it or leave it bird." He blows out one final puff of smoke before the orange glow of the cigarette butt slowly dissipates into the night, the odd comfort of the dull light dissipating with it.

You clench your jaw for a moment, the sound of your grinding teeth filling the tense silence. Perhaps if you were still the person of your past, you'd say no, but if you were the person of your past you wouldn't be here at all. You're no longer integrated into society, no longer part of a community, you have nothing and no one yet the world keeps spinning, how foolish you were to think you mattered at all. Who are you to think you're above anyone else? Everyone just wants the same as you, a warm bed and a hot meal.

There are many paths to the same place after all.

With a long, breathy sigh, you nod into the darkness and though you doubt the man can see it, he somehow knows you've said yes.

"Smart thing you are." He coos at you so softly and it makes your stomach twist, though the underlying purr of his words makes your heart thrum just a bit.

Not that you'd say that out loud. \ You don't feel very smart at the moment, but who knows, maybe the monster in the dark can offer you more than an angel in the light.

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Simon knows better than to pick up strays, especially one as clueless as her, they're more trouble than it's worth; Dirty, sick, broken. He already has to continuously pick up the pieces of his past, millions of little shards that he has to take the time to glue back together, over and over again, he doesn't want to do that for anything else. He's always been firm in it too. Johnny constantly pokes fun at him, telling him his heart is colder than he originally thought, that perhaps he'd find a bit of joy in a disheveled little thing.

Johnny probably meant a cat though.

Instead, Simon's got himself his very own bird. He had no intention of caging you, truly he didn't, he was content to send you on your way, send you out of his life. But when the moonlight hit your features just right, a vulnerable glow in your eye visible, and the helplessness in your voice seeped out, he couldn't help himself. Simon never acts based off his wants, off his selfishness, but perhaps just once, he could have a pet of his own.

So that's what he does. He takes you, and you don't put up much of a fight. Willingly following him out of the dark alley and back into society, bright street lights causing him to squint his eyes. He asks your name and you tell him so sweetly. You're scared and unsure, he wants to tell you not to worry, that he's a bad man but he'd never hurt a helpless thing like you. Eyes all wide and glassy, furrowed brows, and pouty lips. He wonders how such a soft bird like you ended up shunned from the world. You don't look like a junkie, and you told him yourself your no whore for hire, when he looks at you all he sees is a helpless kitten, separated from all her purebred friends, and tossed outside for tomcats like him.

You fidget anxiously when he ushers you towards his car, his calloused hand moving onto your lower back to guide you softly, causing you to stiffen up for a moment. He chuckles meanly at that. Your fretting continues in the car and Simon's not sure what more he can do to calm you down, after all, he's never dealt with a stray before.

He resolves to leave you be, eventually you'll realize that his home is yours, that you're safe now, that he'll take care of you. You'll let yourself be pampered by him and he'll have a trophy to show off to the world, a pretty little thing perched on his arm like a good little bird.

Simon doesn't like strays, but he sure does like you.

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The man tells you his name his Simon and he doesn't tell you much more, you don't bother asking anything else, maybe you should. He takes you to his home, it's empty and lifeless, you think it speaks on the kind of man he is, you're not sure if it should scare you. You linger in the entryway unsure of what to do, it feels strange to be in a home, strange in a way you never thought it could. You feel out of place, uncomfortable, there's something inside you screaming, telling you to run away. Unfortunately, you don't want to play the cards you've been dealt and now you're forced to draw. Perhaps it's a mistake, if it is you're not sure you care.

"You jus' goin' to stand there bird?" Simon's voice startles you, pulling you out of your dazed state.

"Sorry…" You're quiet, a bit shy even, and you're not sure how to feel about the smirk that grows on Simon's face at your discomfort.

"Nothin' to apologize for," He says gruffly. "Come inside." So you do. Shuffling your feet against the wooden floorboards as you make your way over to him.

He guides you into the kitchen, a rough hand on your lower back as he silently urges you to take a sit in a small dining chair. You don't move for a moment so he drags the chair out for you, it's wooden legs screeching against the floor. He stares at you as you settle and you can't quite tell what he's looking for. You're in such a vulnerable state, emotionally rubbed raw, and physically you're sure you're much weaker than before. It's scary, and with his gaze your palms begin to sweat.

You wonder if this is what being prey feels like? Bottom of the food chain; the weakest link.

Simon feels much like a predator, stalking you, watching you. At any moment he could decide to rip you open, take whatever he wants from you, leaving your carcass behind as evidence of what he's done. He watches you for a few moments longer before his gravely voice breaks through the stillness.

"You must be hungry bird, why don' we get you somethin' to eat?" You nod at him timidly and he grunts back before turning around to rummage in his fridge.

"Don' have much to eat right now…" His voice trails off for a moment before it picks up again. "Can order take out, unless you're starvin' right this second." You shake your head at him, a pathetic 'no' escaping your lips. He tilts his head a bit and you realize 'no' may have been to vauge.

"I can wait." Your voice suddenly finds you again but it's still nothing more than a whisper.

He hums at you before picking up his phone and dialing a number. He places an order of what sounds like Chinese food and then hangs up the phone, the clacking of the screen against the tiled countertops causing you to cringe a bit.

"S' the only place open this late," He explains suddenly. "Would've asked you wha' you want but nothin' else is open." You shrug your shoulders and he chuckles at you.

"Timid thing you are, you know that bird?" You don't respond but he doesn't expect you to. Instead, he opens the fridge again, pulling out a half empty of beer before turning on his heels and walking over to his couch.

You watch as he sinks down into the cushions, the fabric stained and worn down, sipping on his beer while watching whatever happened to be on TV. You stay sat in his dining chair, eyes trained on his hulking figure sat on the couch, your body fidgeting in the uncomfortable piece of furniture. You want to speak but the words feel heavy on your tongue, to be honest you're not even sure what you'd say.

"You think loud." His gruff voice cuts through your dazed state and you jump in your seat.

"Sorry…" It's all you can think to say, you're not even sure what you're sorry for. You think maybe you're sorry for letting someone see you like this, weak and pathetic, sorry for letting him see you so timid and scared, not because you feel pity for him.

But because you pity yourself.

"Come on," He pats the small space next to him on the couch. "Doubt' you've had any good entertainment for a while… I know I haven't." The way he speaks sends a shive down your spine, the look in his eye nothing short of predatory. That's when it really clicks in your head that this man, Simon, isn't a good man. He didn't take you in because kindness blooms from his heart, he took you in because you're his prey, his pet.

You stare at him for a moment before shuffling over to the couch and plopping down into the stiff cushions. He makes a pleased sound at your obedience and it both fills you with butterflies and maggots, you feel disgusted at yourself for enjoying the scrap of praise he provides. You barely even know this man but every instinct in you is telling you to please him, to let him do what he wants to you, and in turn you get taken care of.

Or maybe, you'll only ensnare yourself more.

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Simon isn't sure how he's meant to take care of a stray like you. You're skittish, you jump at his voice and tense at his touch, it makes him grind his teeth together, struggling to resist the urge to sink his teeth into your soft skin until you submit. He doesn't want to scare, for once in his life he wants something soft to call his own, but the first step to caging a bird and clipping it's wings is getting it to trust you and he's truly lost on how to do that.

Logically, he know it will take time, but this is one of the rare moments he's not sure he has the strength in him to be patient. He knows he has to be, you're scared and playing the game of survival, pushing you too fast will only frighten you but it's hard for him to stray from his ways. Seldom can you teach an old dog new tricks.

Perhaps he needs help, someone who knows what scared little strays need to feel loved and safe. Simon has already bought you food, he really thought a clueless kitten like you would be cuddled up to him by now. He understands though, and one day you will too. He decides to ask Johnny, something he'd normally avoid doing but he's got a knack for taming strays.

Afterall he tamed Simon.

Once you've been bathed and fed he sent you off to sleep, ushering you into his tiny bedroom, gray bedsheets still tucked under the mattress. He thought it was cute that you felt guilty for taking the bed, and he had to assure you many times that it was alright and he'd be fine, though your pouty lip was quite the (unintentional) invitation to share the bed. When he was sure you were tucked in for the night he slipped out onto his balcony to call Johnny.

"Johnny." Simon could hear his own voice crackle through Johnny's side of the line.

"Lt! Callin me so late at night aye? M' I your booty call sir?" He could hear Soap chuckle on the other end of the line and he let out an exasperated sigh at that.

"Need your help Johnny." He can hear the Scotsman shift around a bit and he stifles a snort at the image of Johnny sitting up right in his chair over this.

"Aye, of course Ghost." Simon huffs out through his nose, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

"How d'ya take care of a stray?"

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Things have gotten better with Simon. He's still grumpy and stoic, and truthfully he treats you more like a pet than a person, but (not so) secretly you think you like it. At first you were worried he'd take advantage of your vulnerability but he never really did, you always did what he said and that kept Simon satisfied. On the rare occasion you messed something up or didn't do what he asked of you, he make a point not to yell at you, instead he'd squeeze you tight and lowly tell you to 'quit your cryin'.'

You would both make a point to ignore the shivers it sent down your spine.

Perhaps your unorthodox relationship with Simon wasn't the healthiest, you were entirely dependent on him and you both liked it that way. Simon made sure you knew you had freedom, he gave you many opportunities to take advantage of it but you never did and you think that was his plan all along. You were already broken, all he had to do was build you back up, shape you exactly the way he wanted, and then you'd never run.

Not that you think you'd want to either way.

He wasn't mean, or cruel, just a bit twisted and lonely. He never hurt you, or treated you unfairly, you were his bird, and he made sure you knew that.

As the months transpired you find that you've grown grossly infatuated with him. He took you in, nursed you back to health, gave you all the attention and love that you needed to blossom and now you're completely his. Simon had his issues, you had yours, but somehow they mesh together in a way that creates a peace rather than chaos. It was a mundane, domestic life that both of you were content with.

Perhaps if you were still the old you, you'd hate him more than anything, but you now understand broken people more intimately than anyone would ever want to, and somehow it's been the greatest gift life has handed to you. When Simon holds you close, squeezes you tight, and tells you how much you're his, you find it hard to do anything besides melt into him, to feel anything besides adoration.

You were two broken people that somehow made a whole, and you were lucky you did. It could've been so much worse, things could have been so much harder, but he saved you, and though he'd never say it out loud, you saved him too.

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AHHH! I'm so freaking sorry for my absence, 12th grade is the year of dealing with many things so I've been super busy with it all! I wrote bits and pieces of this during my free time so it might not be entirely cohesive but I pray its good enough! Love and miss you all dearly <3 take care of yourself MWAH!!

as always likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

#bambidelivers #bambisscrolls #call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #ghost cod #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #requests open

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walnutcookie · 3 months

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What have you been thinking about lately? (:

HI THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK . SMILES SO BIG!!!!!

i have been thinking about walnut so much lately.. more specifically her character development as well as her relationship to both roguefort and her mother. ill focus on her and roguefort more in this post though :] im gonna try to be comprehensible in this one but thisll be a doozy

reblogs ok!

what i find interesting is that in every case we've seen walnut and roguefort BESIDES their release event, walnut has always defended them. In the butter painting affair she knew that they would have left a calling card, in the lost holiday she knew that they wouldnt have done any harm to eggnog cookie, and in face the trial she knew they wouldnt have stolen something with such little value. Theres a big contrast between her first interaction with them in their release event and how she treats them from that point on, and its clear that they dont have quite the rivalry that was shown in that first event. Walnut isnt nipping at their heels every chance she gets lol

i think that from the start, roguefort has always been fond of her,, in a mentor or parental way almost; they see her potential. they see her skill. they want to watch her grow, to see her learn from her mistakes and become a better detective and a better person. in the lost holiday the calling card was a gift itself - they know how much she loves doing detective work and they want to encourage her, though if they break character then the game isnt fun anymore and it feels less genuine ,, so they observe her from a distance. I do think that they wish they could care for her more but they have to be discreet about it since theyre. yknow. A thief and supposed to be her most hated rival (be weird abt these two btw and i will eat your fingers)(dont ship them)

i dont know if this was intended to be canon or not, but thinking about how roguefort left in their release event feels,,, strange? If the boat was far enough from the docks that nobody was trying to stop them, then surely they couldve escaped with the jewel still in their hands. sure, they threw to distract everyone and allow them to escape, but there was a Whole crowd of people there ? if walnut had caught the gem, someone else could have jumped onto the boat and caught them. i like to interpret it as them trying to reward walnut. While they werent going to turn themself over just like that, they wanted to give her a prize for being smart enough to solve their puzzle. They wanted to encourage her by giving her back the gem, even if Cheesecake had a spare and nothing would have really changed if they had kept it :]c

heres my interpretation of them, and its mainly based off of the lines "One logical answer always exists!" "One logical answer? Sounds rather... dull."

in the start, walnut did consider them rivals. She was pretty young at the time and still figuring the world out so she saw them basically as a supervillain, basically just a person filled with pure evil intent and thats... Obviously not who they are. but little wawer just saw someone stealing and went Ah evil!! Evil!!!!! you are WRONG and you must be STOPPED!!! And thus their rivalry began. Also why she was so bitter towards them in the first event :]

in the events of search for lost time/pursuit of lost time, though - and keep in mind, this is completely based on my own headcanons since we hardly know anything abt these costumes - walnut realizes a shift in their behavior. At some point, they even put their own life on the line just to save her... would an evil, cruel person really do something like that? Why would they risk themself to save her when all shes ever done is try to have them arrested?

this is when she starts to realize that not everything in the world is black and white. Not everything has one logical answer. What is rogueforts motive? that is one messy question with multiple answers and none of them are logical. This also goes into my headcanons with her relationship with almond but thats for another ask heehee... Walnut starts to realize other things, too. Roguefort always leaves a calling card, and theyre always incredibly polite to everyone, even the authorities,, of course thats just phantom thief stuff but she realizes that they really arent just some villain. Theres much more to them than some urge to cause mischief and steal from others. in my timeline, all of the other events take place after search for lost time/pursuit of lost time, and this is where walnut starts to defend them rather than just try to chase them.

At this point, i dont think walnut wants to see them behind bars anymore. that was pretty clear when she was distraught at the sentence cappuccino gave them. i think shes conflicted about them. She wants to know the truth about who they are, and why theyre doing everything. She wants to see them change - for them to start doing good. but at the same time, she doesnt. at the same time,,, roguefort is one of the only ones who takes her seriously

Almond is the most guilty of this, and ill elaborate on that in another post, but oh Boy does he make walnut feel worthless and dumb. walnut is always trying to act more mature, more professional and less child-like despite Very much being a child, first example off the top of my head being her not wanting to decorate her office for the holidays and also the way that she always calls almond by his name instead of mom/mother(or dad/father if we're not talking about my hcs lol). She doesnt want to be treated like a child. and to some extent, yeah, people baby her!! almond told cappuccino he was scared that shed eat a Rotten jelly are you fucking kidding me ? (dont even get me started on the one twitter art where hes worried that roguefort kidnapped walnut i do Not consider that canon because from what weve seen abt how he acts towards roguefort?? No the fuck he wouldnt????) he didnt want her to be involved in the butter painting affair because it was "dangerous" despite it basically being identical to other theft cases shes dealt with and there wasnt any violence to begin with. in her story even, people usually let her investigate just because shes cute which.. works in her favor but also FRUSTRATING because its only because shes a kid. almond is always talking about how worried he is that she'll get into trouble and YES she is a child she does need some sort of supervision but shes also so much smarter than people give her credit for. she has so much potential thats being wasted purely because people think shes too young, though at the same time, i think walnut overestimates herself. i think that because of the lack of support she gets from almond and other adults in her life she tries to go above and beyond to Prove that shes better than she actually is and that shes worthy of being a detective and taking on more cases and ends up getting hurt because of it (cough sflt). she tries to act more mature because she wants people to take her seriously but she is a Child and thus people will just look at her and go "Aww! what a cute little detective :)"

i think that the reason why shes so involved with rogueforts cases is because theyre the only one who takes her seriously. They do tease her about it - this is seen throughout all of the events but most specifically in the first one when she gets upset at them calling her "little detective." though they still take her seriously. They see the skill she has now, and they dont just see what she could be in the future. theyre more focused on supporting her now and giving her encouragment and more puzzles to solve rather than babying her and telling her she'll be a great detective someday like everyone else. thats especially important to walnut considering almond does Not show her the same support and is more often restricting her and trying to get her to stop

if roguefort were to stop, to be arrested or to decide that their life of crime was over, walnut wouldnt have that support anymore. Thats terrifying to her. while she does want what is best, there is also a part of her thats a little selfish and just wants things to stay the same forever.

idk where to put this but im elaborating more on her wanting to learn more about them. because really she shows a much deeper understanding and respect than most other characters despite them being her supposed rival ? Lost holiday in specific was so funny because she was so chill with them like "yeah i know you probably didnt do it lol i just needed to have u here just in case" ANYWAYS just the fact that she keeps standing up for them is enough to show how much respect she has for them. The general public is SO cruel and dehumanizing towards them through either idolization or vilification or both at the same time and shes one of the few who actually treat them like a person. she doesnt like it when people are unnecessarily cruel to them, like almond insisting that she stays out of the butter painting affair despite them not committing the crime or her reaction to the harsh jail sentence cappuccino gave them. Both almond and cappuccino are characters who are very close and friendly with her, might i add, and yet she still wants to protect roguefort. She knows that they deserve so much more than how the public and how authorities treat them, thief or not.

anywasy yeah um. In summary. i think that the two lines "One logical answer always exists!" "One logical answer? Sounds rather... dull." symbolize them quite nicely ... roguefort is a motivation for her, a mentor disguised as a rival. they teach her more about the world and detective work. they made her realize that not everything is black and white and taught her to people and situations in more complicated shades of gray. and i think that it goes the other way, too - in a world where roguefort is so Deeply misunderstood and misjudged, walnut tries to stand up for them and does understand them, to a degree. better than anyone else at least. she gives them hope.

#roguefort cookie #cookie run #walnut cookie #almond cookie #..u know i was kind of angry at almond in this psot. let me clarify i am not an almond hater i am in fact one of the biggest almond fans LO #in case anyone who isnt familiar with my blog sees this #🎉 asks #🎉 rambles

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darkestspring · 2 years

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love is the death of duty

a/n: im so excited to write for maegor again, he’s my problematic fave, he’s a garbage man, he’s my chaotic evil baby. this was requested by the lovely @frankcastleonlyfans for a maegor x littlesis!reader (you can find the request here because im too lazy to detail it and a little half asleep) as always, the headers i use, are made specifically by me for my writing so fun times ahead!!! thank you for all your support.

You had always loved your elder brother Maegor, always adored him as you clung to your mother. You loved him despite his cruelty, you brushed off other people’s horrible statements of him and defended him. He was your family. Targaryen’s are closer to gods than men, so it’s not strange to do things that the people of westeros find strange, weird, unnatural to them. You were of valyria.

That much was obvious, with your white hair and amethyst eyes, a symbol of your valyrian heritage.

You loved your brother but right now? You hate his cruelty, his affinity for violence to get his way. You hated that quality about him. You no longer clung to him with bright eyes and bright smiles as you had as a child.

“Brother.” You stared at Maegor with cold eyes and a frown on your face, seeing the blood he’s covered in. “Must you slaughter this entire nation.” You scolded him with a clenched jaw.

“I won’t be denied, beloved sister.” His voice was nonchalant, entirely too bothered at what he had done. “If they refuse me, then they should forfeit their lives as recompense.”

Your mother called your name with softness as he hand touched your arm with all her gentleness and you softened as you gazed at her. How could you be mad when she was pleading with you like this?

The softness disappeared when you gazed at Maegor once more. “What has lead your massacre this time, My king?” The words were bitter upon your tongue but you forced them out regardless.

“Our marriage, my sweet sister.” Maegor walked towards you with slow steps as his hand reached up to caress your cheek. “It matters not, we can simply marry in the tradition of Valyria. There’s nothing that could ever stop me from taking you as my wife.”

You frowned at him before moving back. “You have already slaughtered crowds of Septs to become king, you now slaughter them to make me your wife?” You questioned, not necessarily surprised.

“I would do anything for you, my lovely. Slaughter masses, burn this world to the ground.”

“Please don’t. We live here.” You retorted as you pulled yourself away from him. “When?”

“My sweet?” You mother asked, voiced coated with confusion.

“When are we to marry?” You asked, eyes going in between your mother and your brother.

“Tomorrow.”

That conversation had happened two months ago. Maegor was still himself, with a great capacity for violence and cruelty but the soft warmth to his hands as he held you made you want to melt.

“My love.” His voice rumbled as he pressed kisses to your neck. “My beloved sister, blessed by every god that watches us.”

You arms wrapped around him as your head tilted to the side, eyes half-lidded. It was times like these, that it was hard to remember that your brother dealt death like it was nothing. He was so soft with you. So loving. So protective, like he had always been with you.

“Ask me to kill for you.” He begged you as he cupped your face. “I will, I’ll kill for you. I’ll give you everything you could ever wish for, you need only ask for it.”

You laughed softly as one of his hands left your face to press softly against your hip. “There’s no need for that.” You smiled at him sweetly. “We’re happy brother, there’s no need to set the world on fire.”

“But i would, for you.”

You hum as you reach over to kiss him, content. The thought of him being capable of great violence never left your mind but you were capable of handling it. Of staying his hand, as his queen.

#yandere house of the dragon #yandere hotd #yandere game of thrones #yandere got #maegor targaryen x reader #yandere maegor targaryen #THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE JUST MAEGOR BEING CHAOTIC AND READER IS LIKE 'DON'T RUIN THE PEACE'

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teruthecreator · 1 month

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Mingus.

AND IIIII GET A LITTLE BIT MINGUS KHAN DONT WANT YOU TO GET IT ON WITH NOBODY ELSE BUT MINGUS. WITH NOBODY ELSE BUT MINGUS KINGUS

Sexuality Headcanon:

i dont really think about this too much but she has a bit of bisexual slay i think

Gender Headcanon:

cis woman for sure tho she could have a bit of agender slay if she wanted

A ship I have with said character:

now this is gonna seem like a big surprise to everyone, I Know, but i REALLY like normingus. i think about these two CONSTANTLY like something well and truly sinister has taken over my brain and reduced me down to a child slamming two barbies together like “theyre kissing theyre kissing” like its bad for me. god just like. the flavors of normingus you can have. the bitter rivals/enemies to reluctant friends to lovers pipeline is real and it lives in my heart. truly and honestly i think they are an untapped well of potential EVEN OUTSIDE OF JUST STRAIGHT UP SHIPPING THEM. i think their dynamics of being like two sides of the same coin when it comes to callum is super interesting, and theorizing on how they both could grow and change as people post ch3 is super fun to do bc like. they both have been given a second chance at life, how will they use it? also there’s the fact that mingus hires norm on and finally has a reliant employee other than tango. the kind of bond these two could forge even outside of a romantic sense is really cool and i wish more people touched on it!!!! tho of course i Do still rlly like them in a romantic context im ngl, and i Also wish people explored this dynamic more. but In General i think norm and mingus are an untapped well of potential!!!!!!!!!!! and i have literally TOO MANY fic ideas revolving them it’s actual insanity

A BROTP I have with said character:

mingus and tango have a dynamic that im EXTREMELY fond of, partially by my own doing. i think the like begrudging (on mingus’ end) friendship they have is so special. like tango is just an employee but he’s also been at mingus’ side for the longest time and is probably the one person she can trust to back her up if shit goes awry. but GOD FORBID if you ever told tango that he would start giggling and kicking his feet like fucking spongebob and you’d never hear the end of it. so mingus has to keep him at arms length even though i think she genuinely sees some parts of herself in him and wants to encourage him to thrive. in a suuuuuuper post canon world, when mingus eventually steps down as mayor, i think she fully endorses and encourages tango to run in her stead. a passing of the torch, in a way, and tango takes the endorsement VERY personally like i think he’d start bawling and hug her so tight and mingus would reluctantly return the embrace. god they’re just so silly you guys

A NOTP I have with said character:

i have yet to see a ship with mingus that has genuinely made me scratch my head so uh. nothing for here!

A random headcanon:

this is kind of random and i touch on it in tryt, but i think she collects knickknacks (specifically novelty snowglobes but also other things). i think her office in town hall is very deliberately kept very sterile and like. devoid of personal affectations because she is trying to maintain an Image there. but her house is a different fuckin story. i think callum probably started collecting novelty snowglobes and mingus just noticed how her house growing up was full of them, and eventually when her dad died and she was given the house back she just. continued callums collection. started bidding for super expensive ones on ebay and going out of her way to find antique stores with little knickknacks from her pawpaws time. i think it would be a kind of private joy for her, to have this ongoing collection of Things some of which connect her with her pawpaw, and something she would NEVER dare show another soul. that is, until she starts making friends and having people over and everyone can realize how much of an oddball she truly is <3

General Opinion over said character:

guys i really fucking like mingus. mingus is FASCINATING as a character like she takes herself so seriously and yet is So Ridiculous it’s really funny. and just her whole motivations and her perspective on life and her grandfather it all just makes me wanna tear at the walls and scream and cry. genuinely the first time i played through chapter 3, mingus’ monologue at the end brought tears to my eyes bc i resonated with her longing on such a level it like. it really put her into perspective for me. and since then i’ve just become more and more fond of her like ohhhhhhhhhhh i love her guys. i really do. mingus kingus forevar and evar

#ignorance cloud on #dialtown #(doodle at the end is drawn by griffin its on the back of a different thing he drew for me)#GUYS I REALLY LIKE MINGUS. WALKS OFF

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apostleofthreedimensions · 10 months

Text

Timeline

A timeline of every time a Spacelander has visited Flatland! Starting with...

Flatland's Year 0!

My friend @frau-line had the idea of a messiah and an apostle that fell in love and lived in Spaceland together. I also saw an idea for a god myth that included a picture of a sphere with a line orbiting around it and thought that that was a banger design for a god(s). Though I cant for the life of me find it now... its a small fandom I'll see it eventually.

With that out of the way, heres these two nameless but lovely ladies. I think at this point Flatland would be in like, caveman times or something, but the line is a fast learner and quickly absorbed all information that the sphere gave her.

As for Spacelands society, theyre far ahead of Flatland, but still not nearly as technologically advanced as they are in the film. Maybe like aztec times...?

Theyve just found Flatland and know exactly nothing about it. They sent the sphere to go check it out, and when she came back a month later they had a Flatlander with them.

They study the line and Flatland and they find out... something... that makes it so they set a concrete rule to only ever visit once every thousand years to impart knowledge upon the primitive Flatlanders.

I have no idea why they decide to do this every 1000 years. Perhaps the line dies shortly after her ascension to Spaceland (due to gravitational forces) and the sphere is heartbroken and bitter and shes like "Flatland is extremely fragile we must only interact with it rarely or we will FUCK UP and KILL things"

Year 1000

frau-line fuels this scenario and the next as well. Her ideas are some of the most interesting and compelling I've seen so its hard not to steal :P

The messiah of the Year 1000 wasnt exactly thrilled to do this job, but the first official visit was something highly anticipated and that he was specifically taught to do, so he studied hard and practiced well. He thought it easy and simple until, well...

Unfortunately, the year 1000 apostle must have been at least a little unhinged before enlightenment, so this messiahs mission went wildly off the rails. As soon as he finished his geometry homework, he started a massive country-wide riot, and martyred himself before anyone could ask what he was rioting for.

As for his shape I think he was either a hexagon or an octagon i cant remember im so sorry frau line 😖😖😖

Any fucking ways the messiah is like

And he has some like. Idk not trauma, but he is a little fucked up by it and thinks he should have taken it more seriously or whatever. Who cares though

Year 2000

Saturnius and Areia. Thanking frau-line every day for creating these guys, their plot is so captivating and I have a huge soft spot for Ariea specifically.

Saturnius is a noble sphere prince that takes his job deathly seriously, and Areia is a low class line determined to spread the gospel no matter the cost. The cost ends up being a holy war that is far more destructive than the year 1000 apostle could have even imagined...

Nothing I could say about them could live up to Suovetaurilia, so please give it a read!

Year 3000

You know who these guys are.

Year 4000

Finally, my home grown boys!

Xerxes is very lacking in the self confidence department and is trying to be the best most effective messiah to date to prove himself. His hopes are shattered when he happens to pick Claude, an average pentagon working an average 9-5 job, who doesn't give a singular shit about the third dimension at all. Xerxes doesn't give up easily, and secretly interacts with Claude even after the millennial visit in order to convince Claude to become an apostle. Unfortunately, it turns out Claude is just as stubborn.

...And thats all I have! This is all just my personal headcanon, so I'd really love to hear what you all think the timeline looks like!!

#flatland #flatland 2007 #Xerxes #Claude #<- my oc

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carmenized-onions · 2 months

Note

im trying to write my own carm fic and u just amaze me—how do u write about food so well ? is it prior knowledge, research? i know nothing but i want to incorporate food like u do ♥️♥️ big hearts for the fic!!

im so happy that anyone thinks i write food well so thank you thank you thank you first of all

second of all whatever you write i'm sure it'll be wonderful!!! and third!! it's a mix of a lot let's chat about food for a moment possibly a long moment get over here

I just like food. Just a big fan of food. Very much so a big part of like my culture/family/friends dynamic is showing love through feeding each other/eating together/sharing recipes etc etc-- So in that regard! When it comes to loving food! THat's just me

I have never worked a service job i hope no one can tell. I have friends/family/roommates that work in food service so most RESTAURANT things are from them however MAKING DISHES OOOHHHH

Fuck it, every recipe in Chicago's Kindest and their origins compilation!

Pork Brisket Sandwich!

Pretty much just following the recipe of one of the best sandwiches I've ever had that a dear friend of mine and her partner made me one night. I added the garlic confit because it's Carmen, and I've made confit before so like-- It's good. I think it'd go well. I guess when it comes to things like salt beds, acid/sweet, that just comes from me knowing how to cook a little bit kind of.

Wagyu Steak, Mushrooms, & Croquettes!

This one I straight up yoinked from Daniel NYC, a Michelin Star restaurant who I take from a lot (Yeah it scared the shit out of me when they showed up in the opener of season 3, fucking cameras in my HOUSE good lord.) I found them by looking for reviews of Michelin Star restaurants in New York and found a review of this plate specifically.

I did add the gruyere center to put a slight spin on it, and also made it 3 pieces of steak instead of two. Because One I think 2 cubes is a rip off and 2 I have had croquettes before and they are deeply unsatisfying to chew they need SOMETHING in the middle.

Breakfast Bruschetta !

This is just my own recipe-- I love this to make this for myself on like a weekend when I have the time, or make this for friends when they sleepover. It's good! I prefer feta to parm, also. You also don't have to use basil. Frankly basil is too fragrant. I just have a lot of basil because I grow it.

I don't remember how and why I came up with it-- I think I just really fuck with bruschetta and also love breakfast and eggs.

Oxtail Hot Pocket Wellington

So this is the original recipe from Daniel NYC, however I don't believe they sear it? Reason being, I researched different parts of this recipe and basically-- I knew I wanted it to be bad and go wrong, and specifically be extremely bitter.

And while googling keywords found that searing Fois Gras/Duck can cause a bitter taste! Not sure if it's bitter enough to cause the violent reaction everyone had, but works for me. And then it got altered, of course--

I have no idea if this would work. In theory I think it would. I did make this all up. Feta does have tang. Basil is fragrant. Beef Oxtail Wellington is a thing. I can't see why adding sauces to the internal pastry wouldn't work all that differently than basting with butter?

Again. I guess I just like cooking. But also research! Who is still reading this, who cares. whatever let's keep goin'

Cherry & Lamb :'(

This one was taken from Le Pavillion, Daniel Boulud's restaurant (Yeah, 'Boulud Nod' also scared the shit out of me in season 3), it's also a Michelin Star I believe? I looked over their website/menu after finding them through a directory of restaurants, and I knew I wanted to do something with cherries, so I was really blessed with this recipe from them truly.

Did research on terms I didn't understand, like montmorency and aigre-doux and what the fuck was up with lamb saddle-- I did add the basil because it makes me emotional and Carmen's fuckin obsessed with microgreens as has been made clear.

Oh fuck I did forget drinks are probably also important. We'll talk about the aperol spritz in a second but when it comes to lavender coffee/ black lavender latte-- Man. I just like cardamom and Carmen makes me think of lavender. idunno i'm gay, ANYWAYS

Pop Rocks & Steak :-O

This one is from my brain. As far as I know no Michelin Star place has made something savoury with pop rocks. I did do a dash of research on interesting things people are doing with pop rocks, and did see some fucking psycho on reddit making short ribs with pop rocks, and their girlfriend did think they actually tasted good, and that they caused a salavating of the tongue that made it melt very well

A3 Wagyu - Wagyu is like, marbled steak, and I knew he'd want the quality (it's the BEST!) but in my understanding of food, marbled fat would probably make the pop rocks preemptively melt and so it wouldn't have the same effect-- Looked at a Wagyu chart, found that A3 has less fat more meat, bingo bango

Pomegranate molasses-- It's fruity and it's used in barbecuing all the time-- I figured it'd be the perfect melder of the two concepts. However I do not know how one could make it sorbet thick. that's not my job though, that's carmen's. Would this taste good? I have no idea.

Aperol Spritz, Pink Pepper & Grapefruit

I kept seeing signs on the subway home advertising a ready made canned Aperol Spritz. I haven't actually had one myself. I get a vodka cran and I fuck off, personally. However--

These descriptions are all from research (googlin), and the grapefruit/pink pepper is from me really enjoying the spritz pink pepper scent in the perfumes Missing Person by Phlur and Glossier's You. And I was like oh that'd be nice with grapefruit. They make grapefruit pink pepper bitters? Google search! Yeah they do! Probably would be good. And to me it's very Carmen.

Coconut Emulsion & Souffle

This one was from the fact that I knew I wanted 3 things. I knew I wanted the recipe to come from Chip washing her makeup off, I knew I wanted to have an emulsion, because I think that's a fun word to say, and I knew I wanted it to be coconut-- Cause white, like cleansing balm.

And so, googled Michelin Star Coconut Emulsion. After a lot of scrolling, found Michelin Guide's article on Kei Kobayashi, a chef from Japan earning 3 stars (congrats baby!) and in it, whatdya know?

(combawa is also known as kaffir limes, did some googling, they're known for their zest and stronger scent in comparison to your average lime. )

i've been talking for so long.

what i'm trying to say is i do a lot(? is it alot? idk) of research. I go in with a loose idea of 'i know i want this aspect to this dish' and i go from there!! i also have started taking photos of menus at restaurants and trying to come up with my own shit.

I love food, so it's fun to talk/think about!! I think watching bon apetit back in the day really had an effect on me, honestly. If you want to get into thinking about insane ways to make food, no one was doing it like Sohla when they were so lucky to have her. So i'd reccomend just like,,, OPEN UR BRAIN!! GET WEIRD!! DO A LOOSE BIT OF RESEARCH BUT ALSO SOMETIMES MAKE IT THE FUCK UP!! HAVE FUN!! that's the point !

#yapping #anon ask #extensive yapping #onion wip #onion advice?

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kijosakka · 7 months

Text

how. how would i even write out a proper fic of dramaturgy au,,

cutting this off bc i got too caught up in myself and rambled

ok umm,, dramaturgy as an au is just so character study-ish and generally character-focused,, plus the initial developments made on island are kiinda important to the cast dynamic?? so as i see it there are a few options:

A: rehash/go through the unchanged plot of island, the TDDDDI special, some eps of WT, using it to develop the Situation from other characters perspectives while maybe having one or two to emphasize noahs characterization

it gives a lot of time for character developments outside of noah himself, and time to reinforce noahs own characterization using that outside perspective,, but could potentially get boring/long-winded, since nothing different happens and its literally just Characters Having Screentime

^ maybe sub a full going-through with character vignettes and specific scenarios throughout island/the special/celeb. manhunt or after TD/eps of WT??? i guess you could also slot smth like this in with the other ideas aswell

B: begin the hypothetical fic post-jamaica challenge and leading into london, use it to exposition some minor things and generally establish characterization before getting into challenges and actual canon divergence

it doesnt drag on (as much atleast), gives you enough time with enough cast members to establish what the others think of noah and what noah thinks/how he behaves and why (probably slot in his distrust of alejandro here??), more challenges gives noah more chances (and reasons) to break character, though the character development has to be slow and conflict should probably be built up (but im kinda partial to this one ngl)

C: kindof half-baked but beginning in london (i’m imagining literally at his eel line), where hes eliminated that episode, but comes back via comeback challenge; arc kicked off by being so pissed off that he has to come back and do the Same Shit yet again (and probably because of producer-rigging. again.)

the conflict/character dynamics would move a little faster, its less to trudge through and figure out canon changes like the butterfly effect of noah staying in the game in london, but having less characters to have relationships/interactions with (but making the ones had can be more developed/rounded as a result), less Time in general, the original idea of noah ‘unmasking’ alejandro is kiiinda less impactful this late into the game?? slightly i feel like

or D: even more half-baked than C and kinda just 'possible' and feeling out of place, but you could have noahs arc happen in all-stars instead (smth smth the audience was vv dissatisfied with how he ranked in WT and so he gets brought back)

^ this is mostly bc i like the motif of noah having eel-pond related scars and seeing it as a physical reminder of where 'acting like the camera isn't there' can get him (but you could potentially fit this into the C idea, posing it more as a bitter feeling/theme rather than a motivation to continue his facade)

i dont really like this one from a storytelling standpoint, and it doesnt make much sense since theres no character motivation via unmasking alejandro since everyone already knows at this point?? idk it is there though

umm yeah thats all ive got, i guess you could also mismatch ideas like B&C so the fic starts post-jamaica but noah still gets eliminated, or have noah eliminated after london but still winning the comeback challenge and coming back swearing vengeance (within his own head mostly) or smth like that

i kinda wanted to just put this Out in the World and let it simmer before i start combing through WT to make the allotted ‘official’ canon changes of this au lol

(and not to mention theres still the issue of the actual Ending,, does he win?? is his winning both symbolic and the first genuine, intentional break of character he makes, to the audience and his peers beyond the unintentional ones hes made along the way???

smth smth character growth, hes learned how to let himself break character but now hes learning to do it intentionally too??? < im partial to that but im also biased towards noah and any hypothetical win of his

^ or does he lose?? and his ending watching the finalists parallel the island bit where he Did Not Care but now??? idk idk the longer i think the more i like the whole symbolic win thing but in terms of storytelling/the Themes, does it Work. i do like to think so

the original draft of this idea has noah not in fact winning but it also had a strangely,,,,, vindictive tone?? that might not be the word but the Themes were different and noah was more scheme-ish rather than defense mechanism-having so im thinking the ending should change as well)

#heavy handed symbolism save me heavy handed symbolism #actually the longer i think the more partial i become to the symbolic win thing #but again: noah bias. but again again: my au my rules #/lh. i am open to literally any input or suggestion anyone wants to throw at this #this my first time posting about little aus i have. i think its Fun #perhaps i should Share more often………#ive had so many canon diverging daydreams you cant even Begin to understand #hmm anyway #dramaturgyAU #total drama #td noah

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ultimateloserboy · 1 year

Text

i said i would make this post, so here i am. here is the red guy analysis, starting with this qna answer from baker terry. i talked about this question before, it was “whos your favorite to write for?” and after a bit of debate the answer ended up being red guy for pretty much everyone. i mentioned that, but i left out this answer specifically because of how significant it is. im gonna go on a bit of a tangent here, but i promise itll come back around and make sense

this is what ive been saying about red guy!! hes been going through a constant character arc that never reaches its completion because he is torn down again and again. “hes sensible and together until he isnt” is such a good description, because he might be the MOST normal character but he isnt truly normal. not really. thats very important.

i think red guy is a realistic character, a very human character, and the thing about people is that we’re not as normal as we think. there are differences about all of us that don’t quite fit, and some of us moreso than others, but that is the true normal. true normal is to not be normal. that is what red guy represents to me. we relate to him and think he is sensible because he is, but that doesnt mean hes free of oddness altogether. thats what makes him even more relatable.

but he doesnt realize this, hes riddled with insecurity, and THATS what makes him the way he is. he doesnt quite fit anywhere. hes out of place in his own world, and hes out of place in every other world as well. he doesnt enjoy the house, and he tries to run, but even when he runs he doesnt like what he finds outside. he’ll never find a place where he perfectly fits. he’ll try, but he’ll fail.

but thats another thing. because he doesnt fit anywhere as he is, he usually tries to fit in instead. the characters around him (the fax machine thingy, the trash can, lily and todney) they all tell him that theres something wrong with him and the way he lives, that he could be better, that all he has to do is listen to them and he’ll be normal and respected. and so he does. he listens to them and tries his best to be happy with it. hell tell himself that hes normal and everyone loves him now. that weird people are below him, that nothing is wrong with him because hes perfect. he wont believe it, he’ll be unhappy playing pretend, but at least hes better than everyone else now. at least hes the most normal one. at least hes normal, right?

but then he’ll end up back home, and things will go differently tomorrow. there could be a day where hes waltzing around in clothes, masking who he is and pretending to like it. but then there could be a day where hes coming to terms, where he looks in the mirror and he doesnt care much what others think anymore. where he’ll say “im not supposed to wear clothes, this is the way i look” finally sticking up for himself. he’ll start being kinder, to others and himself. he’ll start being more honest, more open, more loving. he’ll still be as average and monotone as ever, but he’ll be slightly different. he’ll be happier with himself as he is, he’ll ACTUALLY like himself instead of just pretending.

but happiness doesn’t last in a house like theirs. his memory loss will rip away at the realizations he has. he’ll go right back to being bitter and miserable. i dont believe the house is in a timeloop, i hate that theory with a burning passion, but thats besides the point. timeloop or not, he’ll be built up, and then the next day he’ll be knocked back down. he never reaches a point where hes fully happy and i doubt he ever will. i doubt any of them ever will. it makes me so sad, but at least he gets close enough.

in conclusion, duck and yellow guy are very nonsensical and complicated characters, but red guy is too, just in a calmer and more easy-to-understand sense. just because hes the regular, human kind of complicated does not mean he isnt worth analyzing. i wish people would see him as more complex instead of just “relatable depressed tumblr sexyman” like if yall paid attention youd realize that yes, he pulls off the suit, but hes miserable in it. it’s literally him masking. i wish people paid more attention to these things. no shame if you dont, hes supposed to be a more chilled out character compared to the other two, so its natural that people wouldnt think as hard about him. but hes not as smart and reasonable as yall give him credit for, he is until he isnt.

or, if we want to go with the gayer conclusion:

hes YOUR babygirl because hes hot in a suit, but hes MY babygirl because he thinks electricity is magic. because hes an embarrassment to everyone around him. because he doesnt like wasting food or making a mess. because all he wants is a family, and he already has one, but its not normal or functional enough for him. because he smiles more often than everyone thinks. because hes actually kind of an asshole but duck outshines him in that department. because hes selfish and yet he dislikes himself. because he is complicated in the most human way, with a little bit of an inhuman thought here and there. because i am in love with him im just going insane now i need to shut this shit down. ive gotten my point across. goodbye, i love you ! (leaves you a spherical internet device which i created)

#dhmis #dhmis red guy #red guy #dont hug me im scared #dhmis analysis #dhmis tv show #red guy dhmis #dhmis fandom

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nothing0fnothing · 4 months

Note

when i post things about narc abuse on my blog i occasionally get ppl being like "don't classify all ppl with npd as abusers!!!" when i didn't say that? tbh on the whole "is narc abuse ableist" thing i defer to my best friend's wisdom, he recently graduated with a BA in psychology (im so proud!!!) and he said smth to the effect of "if you're trying to diagnose them with npd to demonize them then yeah not good but also narcissistic is a word independent of that diagnosis so context is important" its like how ppl without depression can still say theyre depressed or someone without anxiety can say theyre anxious yknow? context matters! i call my parents narc abusers bc it "fits the bill" as in from the medical studies ive read from professionals, all this criteria fits their behavior, not bc i actually believe they have npd. their actions are narcissistic but actually having npd is a question i can't answer.

the point being: im sure you get a lot more comments like that on your blog than my own. the few i get make me upset for a while bc it feels so invalidating (or maybe im just chronically online lmao.) how do you deal with it all? i'm sure the answer is just "block" but does it go deeper? it must feel awful to be called ableist when all you've done is try to spread awareness about a very real thing that happened to you. i could use some of your strength bc your blog is still going strong even amidst the hate 🙏

This ask was actually so lovely to read. You're eloquent and educated and if you'd like to dm me please do any time I'd love to chat with you and check out your blog.

You're absolutely right about narcissism and NPD. Narcissism is a personality trait. One that most healthy people posses. You can't diagnose someone a narcissist, because "narcissist" isn't a disorder.

There's a misconception that NPD is the clinical diagnosis for excessive narcissism. Actually, the diagnostic criteria for NPD is very clear that one does not even have to have narcissistic traits to be diagnosed with it. And it has nothing to say about abusing others, so how recognising abuse is considered a drive by diagnosis of NPD is beyond me.

Saying your abuser is narcissistic doesn't mean you think your abuser has this specific disorder. We know this so to us it's common sense. Unfortunately common sense isn't so common, especially in the narcissistic positivity side of this app.

It's so easy to feel provoked when you know all this, and you're educated and you just want to make content that will connect you to a community of other survivors. Only for some asshole who barely knows what NPD is, decides they're going to make your trauma all about it. It's not chronically online to be made upset by behaviour like that. People like to tell us the Internet isn't real, but when it's our connection to communities of people who share our niche experiences, it is real. Don't undermine yourself when you feel upset like that. Words can hurt anyone, even when they come from an ignorant low life who thinks they can clean up the internet, one trauma support blog at a time.

Me personally? I like to wait to hit the block button till after I've goaded them into an absolute breakdown. It entertains me to no end to watch them rage like toddlers as they start to realise they know next to nothing on a topic I've absolutely schooled them in. It sounds cruel but I have no sympathy for arseholes, especially when they're intentionally spamming random accusations and slurs on my vent posts in hopes they can get a rise out of a vulnerable person. I might make a "narcissists rage at facts and logic" compilation for my own amusement... But that's not really helpful advice to anyone who isn't a bitter hag, like me.

When I first started on this platform I kept my most common response paragraphs in my notes and clipboard to paste and post when I got the same asks day in and day out. It really helped me to reply in a measured way I knew was proof read and edited without having to exert the mental energy it takes to type out a whole reply every time you get one. This of course is if you're so inclined to engage with them.

I also have a limit for how long I'll engage. Usually my rule is I stop responding when they stop asking questions, because my blog is here to be supportive, not to receive criticism from the pro narcissist community. When they stop being coherent and and start being belligerent, that's when will always I block them and that's usually the end of it.

I did have one guy who I'd blocked on 3 or 4 seperate accounts for being belligerent. He was making new accounts every time to spam my asks and reblogs with increasingly ridiculous, heinous and obviously ragebaity shit. I just reposted his replies onto reddit where the crowd is, let's say, more critical of behavior like that. He had an epic meltdown and I've never seen his username ever again. If you're not comfortable doing that, let me know and I'll do it for you. You'd be doing me a favour because I'm a little shit and I love to watch the fireworks.

My last bit of advice to you is to make mutuals and make them friends. I struggle with being sociable in any consistent way, but a few messages back and forth to foster a good relationship with the community is so helpful. It makes your blog feel like an actual supportive environment. It puts your content across the dashboards of more sympathetic people and less losers thanks to the algorithm. Most importantly, when you have friends on this app they're more likely to back you up when an absolute cretin who snuck onto earth decides to pick on you for no reason. Having that back up is invaluable to blogs like ours and it's so important to have it when you're just starting out, especially if you're already getting the narc apologists in your notifs.

That being said, I genuinely do hope you reach out to me. I'd love to be able to send you some more of my strength when you need it. 💛🤎💛

#narcissistic abuse #narcissistic people #narcissist #surviving narcissism #raised by narcissists #narcissistic abuse support #narcissistic abuse awareness #narcissistic abuse recovery #narcissistic abuse survivor #trauma support #mental health recovery #mental health support #ptsd support #narcissism is not a disability #narcissism is not npd

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dontbotherwiththepronunciation · 1 year

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Hi!

I loved everything you already shared about the poll with us. I would be super interested if you could share some of the ideal endgame scenarios people envisioned and if they correlated with other aspects(specifically ship preference and liking house Stark)

Hi! I am extremely sorry for how long this has taken. Things have been busy and this took more time than I thought it would. In all truth there weren't that many correlations when it came to ship and preference. My biggest surprises were that both, in the Iron Islands and the North, people would prefer him to be in a non-ruling position, that the option "At the Wall" was so popular, and that the option of him becoming Bran's prophet was shown a lot more love than what I usually perceive in fandom.

To be honest I think this was the most entertaining ask I've gotten about the survey and it was nice to embark on a slightly more complex mini-project.

Other data for reference: The overall House Stark score out of the 109 people (that is counting my irls) who gave a punctuation was of ~6,22/10

Also fun enough out of the 1/10 voters six of them were my Stark-hating irls whom I dearly love for their extremist tendencies/j jdsghfjsdhf

Numbers regarding most and least liked ships (including my irls):

Also, once again, this is a mix of interpretations and ideas and please be mindful of not publicly shaming someone who can't defend themselves. If I could keep the bitterness down so can you. Bitch about it with your mutuals and friends (also me if you really need someone) but don't go around publicly mocking those who were kind enough to offer me their insight.

Shipping, pro/anti-House Stark views and other tendencies in preferred endgames:

King/Lord of the Iron Islands

Average House Stark score was of ~5,0/10 and surprisingly Thenye and Greysnow people were more present in this group (9/13 Greysnows and 10/23 Theynes) while the rest were lacking (8/46 throbbs, 3/14 thamsays, 1/10 theonsas and two other voters didn't pick any ships. Book vs Show people were distributed proportionately although when it came to themes, people who chose Nr. 4 Suffering, redemption vs irredeemability, accountability over past misdeeds were more inclined to pick this option (17/23 counting my irls).

hmphhhh…difficult things here. i know what i dont want but......was it you tereshkova who said satisfaction doesnt know its own shape, or was it đặng? nothing new you already know my ideas. more than anything id like to see him in environments that are stressful but emotionally cathartic. you told me about the fandom-cottage thing and….naaaahhhhh…i dont like it. if he has to have a life of idleness id want that to be unsatisfactory for him. i think having him as an advisor or ruler in the islands is still my favourite endgame but only if hes allowed to do things. his time with the starks and the boltons might make him reflect on ironborn culture and his own (exaggerated) views on it. politically he could try to adopt a more centrist position on old-new-way and hopefully make some reforms about the rape culture and thralldom. i want him to go on long walks at the beach late at night with jeyne, falia, wex, qarl and tris. i think he deserves real friends. oh and i want him to kill ramsay. rip you and your christian dogma but im different.

Puppet King/Lord of the Iron Islands

Average House Stark score of ~6,1/10 with no strong shipping preferences. Asha wasn't in the top 5 POV characters of many, but most of those who picked her were also inclined to this possible endgame, which I found curious and those who were particularly interested in many Theon & Greyjoy relationships were also majorly present in this group.

Non-ruling position in the Iron Islands

No tendencies at all. This answer was picked by more than half of those who responded the question and it was a complete mix when it came to ships and themes of interest. Something that was quite shocking to me though was House Stark's average score of ~8,9/10.

At the Wall

I would have expected Greysnow people to be more fond of this option yet only 6/13 picked it and it somehow still managed to be the second most popular one. The average score for House Stark was a high one too, ~8,4/10, and in all truth there weren't many remarkable things perhaps with that this group was composed mostly of people who first engaged with the books before the show (36/53), which was uncommon compared to the other answers and that half of the thramsay shippers (7/14) also picked this option.

Exiled/in Essos

There wasn't anything disproportionate when it came to ships but a tendency I found interesting was how many of the TCK's (11/15, counting my irls) were fond of this concept. This is also one of the few subsets in which Daenerys found a warmer welcome compared to Sansa (who was still loved but had less sympathisers than usual). The House Stark score had an average of ~4,9/10, which was lower than I'd have expected, and 17/26 voters (≈ 65,3%) were of the mind Theon could have adapted to the Iron Islands while only 6/26 (≈ 23%) were against that concept.

Bro I can’t fathom how you're twisting and turning with this question kkkkkkk (ノ_<。)ヾ(´ ▽ ` ) Purely wish-fulfilment and only wish-fulfilment I’d want him to go somewhere where the title of perpetual stranger won’t contradict his own perception of self. Somewhere where he can only be considered as a stranger but it won’t clash with a false sense of home. We’ve discussed Braavos and you made me curious with your talk of Lorath as places of escapism that are thematically meaningful and rehab and therapy away from war and toxic people would do him well. AND HE HAS TO TAKE JEYNE WITH HIM HE PROMISED HE PROMISED HE HAS TO KEEP ONE FUCKING PROMISE IN HIS LIFE

Advisor/Hand/Servant in Winterfell

House stark average score of ~7,2/10, responders were also fond of him staying in a non-ruling position in the North (23/26 voters picked that option too). This time there was a strong current of shippers: 14/26 voters picked throbb as their preferred ship (~30,4% of all throbb people) and 7/26 voters picked theonsa (=70% of all theonsa people). Unlike the previously mentioned option, it was Sansa who had the most sympathisers here with Daenerys being perceived as a villain by 7/26 of the voters and six being alright with her possible descent into madness. Sansa however had 15/26 voters rooting for her to become Queen in the North and only 4/26 voters being accepting of darker twists in her storyline.

Non-ruling position in the North

This is the group that gave the highest scores to House Stark and so we come to an average of ~9,2/10. Throbb were very much in the lead here (22/37) and surprisingly there was a concept that was often repeated by the throbb people who picked this option involving Theon staying in the North somewhere in a cottage in a semi-delusional state of mind and regularly hallucinating Robb as a positive presence in his life. Some mentioned Asha, Wex and/or Sansa as people who visited him but for some reason Jeyne was never included although the answers came from people who claimed to have read the books. Here's an example:

Someone had this post on tumblr where he gets to heal in a cottage in the North and lives alone but for Wex who takes care of him and Robb who is still dead but Theon hallucinates him and the two finally get to be in love and happy but he's not real and theon is lying to himself because not having robb at his side would make life unbearable how is he supposed to move on without him? how can he be happy when the only person who truly loved him is gone because of him? Sansa visits him and she is warm and kind and plays along because she understands his pain

Prophet of the Drowned God

I was mostly just surprised that it was such a popular option given how I haven't seen it explored a lot in the current fandom. Theon's religious arc is a personal point of interest for me since it mirrors Aeron's but I rarely see the fandom taking it into account. The House Stark average score reached ~6,5/10 and prefered ships were distributed properly. This whoever was the only case in which the Theon & Aeron and Theon & Euron relationships were picked more often than Theon & Alannys, still lower than Asha but significantly more popular in this group.

Sadly there weren't any answers that expanded on this more, but this possibility caught my attention.

he is the drowned God (i’m joking but am i)

Bran's Prophet

Average House Stark score of ~5,7/10 which was slightly below the total average. There weren't any strong shipping preferences although it was not surprsing but remarkable to see almost all those who had Bran as one of their favourite POV characters (9/10) pick this while only 4/10 were fond of the "Dies for the Starks/Bran" option. A majority of of those who picked this option got to interact with the books before the show (30/47).

Theon finding his place at bran's side, and bran forgiving him for his misdeeds. But i need it at the ultimate snail's pace.

Dies for the Starks/Bran

Only three out of the voters also marked the option of him becoming King/Lord of the Iron Islands, the vast majority preferred throbb as a ship (16 out of this subset.about ~34,7% of all throbb shippers) and the overall House Stark ranking was of ~7,1/10. Overall many on this subset rejected the idea that he could have fit into the Iron Islands had he returned sooner or never been taken and a surprising number explained that an endgame they'd loath would be him getting into a ruling position.

i don't want him to be given a position of honor or power. he is a fundamentally changed character who is highly traumatized and disabled both mentally and physically as well as being haunted by the ghosts of his past. there is no possible way for it to make sense that he is given power over a sheep farm let alone a kingdom

Dies by Stannis' hand

Sadly nothing really remarkable. No disproportionate shipping tendencies and an average score for House Stark of ~5,7/10. Those who chose this option weren't majorly from any specific demographies or tended to choose a specific option for themes. Slightly disappointing since I was curious. I did however find it interesting that out of those who chose this option, everyone also picked the "At the wall" possibility.

Stannis is going to kill him and I've made my peace with that.

Dies by Ramsay's hand

Not many strong tendencies. The House Stark score was on an average of 5,6/10 and out of the people who picked this alternative only 2/8 were thramsay people. The rest were two throbs, one theyne, one theonsa and the other two didn't pick any preferred ships. Opinions on House Stark differed greatly although in this case it wasn't tied to ships and the throbb and theonsa people gave it rather low ratings. Something that picked my attention is how the eight people here were also inclined to choose "Dies a traitor's death" as a possibility they'd be content with. Thematically I can imagine why but it still was surprising to me.

Dies heroically and publicly redeemed

Average House Stark score of ~5,8/10. There weren't any strong shipping tendencies. It didn't even strongly contrast with the "Dies a traitor's death with only a few people remembering him fondly" option since 10 of it's voters would have also been content with that option. There wasn't anything noticeable when it came to preferred themes either.

Dies a traitor's death with only a few people remembering him fondly

A significant number (11/14≈ 78% ) of thramsay shippers picked this option and the average score of House Stark in this subset was of ~3,1/10. Very fun for me to observe, I didn't think this option would show any clear tendencies but it did. When it came to chosen themes there was something interesting going on. Nr.3 (the most chosen one out of all voters) was only chosen three times by people who picked this possibility although there wasn't a clear preference for another specific set of themes.

It would feel deeply wrong to me if he died heroically and was lauded after his death. It feels like so much of his story is about accountability and living with your mistakes/regrets and and ending like that would completely undermine that message. I also hate the idea of him being in some sort of position serving the Starks because feeling beholden to them was the source of so much of his discontent and issues to begin with. I think the most satisfying ending would be one where Theon gets to be his own person, not who anyone else wants or expects him to be.

Here are some of the wish fulfilment answers that I am allowed to quote and either proposed less common endings or expanded on the common ones in case you are curious. The question on the survey was:

What would be your ideal Theon endgame? You can list more than one concept/scenario. It can be as unrealistic as you want. This is pure wish fulfilment.

listen i just want him to kill ramsay it'll be satisfying

Away! Free cities! Go live and be free, my beautiful damaged honeybee

Half of his ashes are buried with Robb and the rest are thrown in the sea

Asha's hand on the Iron Islands or in the wild north like Jon in the show

I'd like him to survive, but I'd like him to strike out as a common man. I'd enjoy it if he could abandon his noble origins and just be Theon.

Theon living a simple life in the North, maybe by the coast. Asha comes to visit sometimes. He can't use a bow anymore but he has a sweet old horse to keep him company.

him fighting at winterfell against the others and dying. history remembering his terrible deeds but the people who knew him remembering his acts of kindness and bravery.

i really want him to be a kind of diplomat between the iron islands and the north, moving between the two families and homes he has ever known. finally being a greyjoy and a stark

made to take the black, living out the rest of his days on the wall unrecognizable and quietly introspective, ignoring the imminent magic war. or some sort of prophet/mouthpiece of the old gods.

My ideal scenario is that Sansa is queen in the north, Asha is queen of the iron isles. Sansa/Theon is a purely political marriage alliance with Theon getting to live in Winterfell with Jeyne living there as well, and he gets to heal from trauma.

Puppet king or not even a king (but either way, Asha did use him with his consent so she could take the Seastone Chair), living in the Iron Islands. Healing, maybe with Jeyne, perhaps not. Not sure he seeks fatherhood, may be satisfied as an uncle. Possibly a prophet/diplomat to Bran's court on the Isle of Faces.

As horrible as this may sound considering he is my favorite character, I do wish that by the end of the series he's dead. Not in TWOW yet and definitely not by being executed by Stannis. I can't really say how I wished it would happen. The show version doesn't really feel exactly right for book Theon, but I still think it'd have something to do with Bran.

Get the guy to a place where he can belong. Get him to a place where he can have agency, and a purpose that he stands behind. Get him to a place where he can heal and recover as much as possible. I can also see him taking on a mentor role for children of some sort, seeing as he's haunted by the ones he killed/ordered to have killed to be placed as fBran and fRickon

I truly have no idea. Hair grows in black again 😂. Um vibing with Jon on the wall, or if Jon's not on the wall being some advisor or something for him. He could do something with Asha too. I'd like for him to talk with bran cuz it seems they've almost spoken through trees and such. I guess I'd be content if Theon was content I don't know what that looks like for him

I think it would be great if he died in a way that made him feel heroic but he was not remembered heroically. Maybe a death no one else knew about but which saved lives etc. I'd like to have someone offhandedly mention finding his body (ideally not even knowing who he is) and burying him an an unmarked grave. Nameless and landless for all eternity, not even the king of his own resting place.

My ideal Theon endgame is him returning to the Iron Islands eventually, and facing his sister/Euron again/at least once. I want his arc to entwine with Aeron's somehow, and I want more interaction with his seemingly prophetic abilities. I don't think I'd want him to stay in the Iron Islands, though. I'd like it if he eventually travelled abroad/was exiled to Essos, or another land removed from the conflict. Puppet king Theon with Asha is also great!

Idk tbh. My ideal endgame is he escapes with Robb when they are kids and go live in dorne or something lol Hmm. Actually tho. I think I would be very happy with him joining the free folk somehow. Becoming besties with mance. And then the white walkers end up being a physical manifestation of their society’s disconnection with nature and magic and suppression of different ways of life. And the free folk + bran + Daenerys, missandrei and co end up being instrumental in helping the threat end without reproducing even more violence. And Theon gets a wonderful wildling husband or wife and lives happily ever after cjvghxh

Maybe as Sansa’s king consort ? I think with all her shit marriage, this one would be her endgame, he would sometimes advise her and would aid Yara to make her peace known through the Iron Islands, maybe he would take a summer isle in Essos where he and his Queen could rest from time to time, leaving Winterfell under Jon’s command and they eventually retire there and die of old age back in the North where they belonged : Theon would die as : Theon Greyjoy Stark, King Consort of the North, Prince of Pike and the Iron Wolf. And how great it would be if Winterfell became a home to parent less children or batards, all children of Queen Sansa and King consort Theon

Alive, his hair grows in black again, he spends his life travelling across the Kingdoms for various propaganda purposes and makes meaningful connections with people of many ilks. Seer Theon who connects with the Gods of all places. Occasionally he returns to places that are significant to him as a matter of routine (the Iron Islands etc) and sees people he once knew. They're all older and scarred and only able to spend so much time in each other's company before the Pain sets in but they enjoy the spurts of connection they have. I would like to see Theon managing his chronic pain relatively successfully. The idea of him having a bastard from the before times is also appealing to me

I don't know!! I kind of hate them all. All my happy endings require no ramsay, and I don't want that. I think I'd want to know more about his post ramsay health and body to inform the answer... I'd like Asha to rule the iron Islands I think. I don't want theon to serve the starks. I don't want him to rule anything. Sometimes I think I want him to retire in a cottage but that's so sad. Consigned to a life of retirement and isolation at age 20 simply because of disability and trauma? Fuck that. I know people could visit him in the cottage but idk man. I want the narrative to leave him alone, but I want hope. He can't die. I don't need or even want him to have prestige, just security. He is 20 years old! He has his entire life ahead of him!! I really have no idea my friend.

I want him to live AND be FREE. He’s been stuck between options, he can choose one or the other or not choose at all and be punished either way - he must be given the agency he has always lacked. It could be an ending that a lot of characters need or deserve but for me: that’s Theon’s ending. After his arc it’s the one that suits him most. Like…. him realising that he struggled so much because he never knew what he really wanted, that he strived for something that would never satiate him, would never work out. And for all he’s been through and committed I can’t see him in a ruling position, or being another servant. No I want him to escape from all that. I want him to live, free to come to terms with his guilt and his suffering and that he survived his life being ruined, he survived death which means he should get to choose his new life

I would love to see him in power honestly, taking the lessons he learned and applying them. Will they be good? what has he learned about arrogance, cruelty and power? would he make a good leader? or would he just be repulsed by all those things? has he learned the right lessons? he has done a very brave and morally righteous thing but will he keep doing it in more complicated scenarios? what role hed play in saving the world from the ice zombies? would he help bran? Wouldn't it be awesome to see what he would do in the iron islands? how he would help it's people? will he keep on saving Jeyne? what will be their relationship? will probably never see any of this but something I'd really really like is that "no more fucks left to give" and "smiling through torture and broken teeth" attitude theon has on the sample chapter, seeing him interact with Asha and Jeyne would be amazing. Maybe even Dagmar and his mom...

Hmm. Some position of influence/power on the Islands (Lord Commander of the Iron Fleet, Asha’s Hand, co-ruler with Asha, something like that) and general social integration (having respect from people generally as well as managing to re-connect with old friends/acquaintances or making new ones to where he has a genuine social support network that’s not just 1 or 2 people). In my dreams, he’s also managed to recover/heal from his trauma and injuries both physically and mentally/emotionally to the furthest extent even remotely realistically possible. Which would still likely leave him with some PTSD/anxiety/etc issues but ideally at a highly manageable level and ideally his physical injuries would be compensated for as much as possible (perhaps even with some help from fantasy-magic-healing-that-mimics-modern-medicine lol) so he can still participate in normal activities from archery to dancing to fucking eating, even if with some unavoidable limitations/issues. (His hair is growing in black again after a while, you can fight me.) He’s got a close and mostly-functional relationship with Asha. I’m a little less hung up on the romantic aspect here, but if we’re talking like 100% wish fulfillment of the fuzziest sort… Married to Jeyne and still capable of procreating a child (even if they gotta get a bit creative about it), and Asha names said child her heir. (Listen. You said pure wish fulfillment was acceptable so…)

(if the last person I quoted here reads this: I am very happy you took me by my word. The more wish fulfilment people wrote for this question the better this was for my understandings!)

Also, if anyone has any other questions please feel free to send them. This took longer than usual because I was recently visited by a friend and there were some other personal impediments, but I try to get to them as fast as I can.

#speaking #Theon Greyjoy #asoiaf #theon survey #anonymous

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sakura-code · 1 year

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how do Mokoto and Yuma meet each other in the misfit Au, how did yuma willing to give his trust to mokoto, it would be nice to hear more of their relationship goes to this story

it really must've took some time

p.s im so glad to be able to read more post from you,i hope your doing alright

The two meet with Makoto approaching Yuma once he was allowed to roam freely (in this AU, the CEO is still alive at the time and Makoto is known as the CEO’s adopted son), and meets him when Yuma was getting his Forte experimented at the Amaterasu Labs.

You are right that Yuma takes time to learn to trust Makoto since he does look suspicious and is overly-friendly to him. Yuma became more emotionally detached and withdrawn as a trauma response to his mom’s death, and separation from his hometown to moving into the cold, crime-filled city of Kanai Ward. He hasn’t seen any friendly faces for a long time except for Shinigami, and even then she’s considered in the same boat as him (or more specifically similar since she doesn’t have to interact to the real world like Yuma).

The same can be said for Makoto as he has to deal with the fact that he is a Homunculus and is now being groomed to become the next CEO of Amaterasu (which he believes is the only mean to really change Amaterasu itself). Still he is left bitter towards the world and the restriction he is put under by his ‘father.’ He even can’t help being bitter to Yuma because he is the original who has lived the life he remembers, while Makoto is nothing more than a copy. A shell that can be remold by others’ desires, while not allowed to be the person he was before. But he also knows Yuma has no support outside of Shinigami in Kanai Ward, and even he notes Shinigami isn’t exactly the best support Yuma needs. So he reluctantly decides to reach out to Yuma and be the support he needs (because he is still the emphatic, kind person like Yuma).

The two’s relationship definitely starts out rocky because of their own conflicting feelings with one another (Yuma unwilling to trust Makoto, and Makoto’s resentment towards Yuma). But overtime, those tensions begin to fade away and their relationship starts to blossom into a beautiful friendship (and brotherly love). With Makoto, he offers an out from Yuma being experimented and even knows he is the Death Detective but does not look down on him for it, being his support for him to talk to, and offering sanctuary from everyone at Makoto’s apartment (yes he still has his own apartment despite technically being a minor; the CEO isn’t really a good parent here). With Yuma, he offers a comforting presence for Makoto to be himself around. I hc that part of Makoto’s over-the-top, friendly nature is a facade around people. He is still over-the-top and friendly, he just takes it to the extreme around other people. In truth, he is an introvert and can be blunt and snarky (basically not as friendly as he makes himself out to be), even though he is still a sincere person. Yuma doesn’t judge him and encourages him to let his (metaphorical) mask down around him, which he does.

Their relationship will definitely be explored overtime in the AU, as Makoto’s secret and Amaterasu’s darkness will come to light as one of the overarching plotline. And their relationship is challenged as well (Makoto may be more friendly with Yuma, but I’m still gonna make him a morally grey, complex character).

Also, thank you so much for your concerns and support. I’ve been really busy irl with college classes demanding my attention, and trying to put a little more focus on myself outside of social media. Plus some writer’s block and my perfectionism getting in the way as well. I’m just trying to make sure I thought out the ideas of my AUs well (even though I also post some of the ideas would be brainstorming and some parts of the AU may have changed as well). My posts may still be infrequent with my schedule, but I can assure you I am still alive.

#master detective archives: rain code #yuma kokohead #makoto kagutsuchi #rain code au #master detective archives spoilers #rain code spoilers #master detective archives au #master detective archives chapter 5 spoilers #master detective archives: rain code spoilers #brotherly love #their relationship is just beautiful and special #won’t lie I thought you were asking about Yuma and Makoto’s relationship in the Dual Swords AU when I first read it #the two’s relationship is still important in the Misfit AU as well of course #I might be getting a little obsess with Yuma and Makoto’s relationship

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sieglinde-freud · 1 year

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1,3,5,6 and 15! I love women <3

hi faye!! 🩷 i already know this gonna be long hooboy

1. One of your favorite female characters?

frederica aesfrost triangle strategy. that is my GIRL. i dont know how many of you guys have played triangle strategy but me personally it changed my life. not gonna say too much because i dont wanna spoil it, but shes such a great female lead. shes basically fighting for the liberation of her people, the roselle, who the society of the game has basically condemned for no reason so if you go through her arc, you see how she deals with the pressure of having to free them, how hard it hurts to witness them in the state that theyre in, and the sacrifices she has to make to get what she wants and GOD. its so good. shes so good. also she cant fucking cook. me too girl.

3. What’s a female character you look up to?

ema skye ace attorney, specifically in aa4-6. ive never seen a character that made me go ‘GOD shes just like me fr’ like her (and apollo justice. but this isnt about him). i feel like it’s rare to see main characters like her really love something, and then FAIL pathetically at it. over and over. not that i enjoy seeing her not getting her forensic license, but it just feels so real. sometimes you love something and you’re so passionate about it but you just dont get it. and how does she react? is she still the bubbly ema you see in rfta with a “we’ll get em next time!” attitude? no!! no she’s not, she’s bitter, grumpy, snarky, dealing with the most annoying prosecutor of all time, and she’s so fucking real. be frustrated! be angry! life hands you shit cards you can be mad about how you have to play it! it’s nice seeing characters who pick themselves back up so easily, but most people arent like that and im certainly not, and seeing a character who’s just so honest about that is really refreshing. of course, she finally gets her dream in aa6, but that doesnt come without years and years of trying. in a universe where people are becoming lawyers at 18, it’s nice to see someone realistic. (im also trying to step foot into the forensic field eventually sooo… the fact that shes on the same path as me just kinda makes it hit harder, you know?)

5. A female villain you love?

pissing off both sides of the argument by calling her a villain and saying i love her but edelgard von hresvelg. before anyone says anything my favorite lord is yuri leclerc and the rest of them are equal in my heart <3 but edelgard clearly takes on more of a villain role in every route except her own, and even then she’s not entirely morally correct (duh). but i dont know. i wont say too much on your ask faye cuz i know you havent finished the other routes yet, but even when i played azure moon i couldnt bring myself to dislike her. her past with dimitri, the way she kept the dagger, and everything she reveals to you on her own path and how her past shaped her into who she is and what she wants and how she will stop at nothing to get it. i dont agree with the ends justifying the means, but i love characters who believe in that because it’s just so interesting. you want this thing so bad, nothing will stop you? your friends, your family, knowing you’re doing wrong because you think it’ll turn out right? what if it goes wrong. what if it blows up in your face? what if history remembers you as the villain forever? you’re already too deep in it i guess, so just keep going. shes so… ggrarghj. edelgard 🥹

6. A female character who got done dirty by the narrative?

athena cykes ace attorney. you’re telling me the entirety of aa5 is revolves around HER story, HER past, HER relationships, and it’s called “Phoenix Wright: Dual Destinies”? the dual, by the way, refers to apollo. and you dont even play as athena during the climax of the game, you play as phoenix and shes just WATCHING. will they redeem her in aa6? you mean “Phoenix Wright: Spirit of Justice?” you mean the game where she gets ONE case on her own and it’s a FILLER CASE? admittedly a pretty good filler case but still. god. what the hell. i get phoenix sells but if you’re make new lawyers to take on his legacy, maybe? let them do that???

15. Female character you would defend with your life?

as usual there are so many to pick from. but i think this time i’m gonna pick nyx fire emblem. now, dont get me wrong. i will not defend her design. fates’ female dark mage design is pretty bad, especially since its used on ophelia and nyx. as much as i sincerely dont think nyx looks like a child as opposed to just a pretty short young woman, it’s…. blerghh. but aside from that? i cant STAND when people say shes just generic loli bait that acts like a child. because where? WHERE? point to where in her supports she acts like a child seriously. i know in her supports with charlotte she attempts to try it, but the point is that its unnatural and uncomfortable for her to do so. she is just. not like that. she doesnt try to play around like nowi or myrrh. shes not a child in dragon years or anything. shes just an older woman stuck in the body of a younger one, and if you would just READ one support, literally any of them, you would know that. but fates haters dont read, do they? clearly not. and its just a huge disservice to the rest of her character, which i think is incredibly beautifully written. shes such a standout in fates and i cant stand people ignoring that because “waaah nowi clone!” fuck you.

#asks #i think ive said this before but when i first saw nyx i legit just thought she was the same age as everyone else #and her portrait was just scaled really weird/she was just abnormally short #whatever support i got of hers also didnt mention her age or the curse at all so like #i just didnt pick up on it? i just thought she was a snarky dark mage and i was like ‘cool!’#i dont know. putting her fates art next to like nowi or smthn i think its obvious shes older than a child #though i will say her cipher art is kindaaaa…. hrrrrmmm…..

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loveyougoodbi · 8 months

Text

Hamilton to Ferrari and Charles Leclerc

I promised a post with my opinion on this move (specifically how it affects Charles) and honestly I'm still undecided but I thought it's best to sit down and put my thoughts in written form and maybe post later as well.

First of all, what my problem with Lewis moving to Ferrari was. Ferrari had gotten my hopes up in the few weeks prior to the announment in the sense that they want to focus on Charles and that they will give Charles the treatment he deserves. The news of the move shattered all that to pieces in my eyes. To me all it meant was that they are not planning to win the championship with Charles. They are again not giving him the support and trust he deserves. And that hurt.

If you read my thoughts when Charles signed the contract I kept saying one thing: this announcement has changed nothing for me. Ferrari has to prove to me that they are serious about Charles and that Charles' role in the team is the role they claim to have given him: a leader. There are 3 things that (to me) would make me happy about the contract extension and I will now look into each of them separately and how they relate to Lewis joining under the cut.

1. They have to give him a competitive car suited to HIM, not his teammate. ✔️

This is still possible. Charles is the undisputed leader of ferraris car development for 2024. That is more than clear now. 2024 (and probably 2025) cars will be done with charles' feedback.

However, 2024 and 2025 do not matter from a championship perspective. They are still Red Bulls year. And I find it highly unlikely that any team would be able to come close enough in these regulations to even fight for a championship with red bull. The year that matters from a championship perspective is 2026. The car that will be built in 2025 aka the year Lewis is joining. I'm not saying Lewis will automatically take over everything (charles IS ferrari after all) but it's also safe to say that having a 7 time champion with the rank and reputation of Lewis Hamilton would sway the cards to a more equal playing field. And this would happen for the car that matters. But Lewis is a great driver who can drive any car as long as its fast (unlike some people iykwim). So is Charlrs. So this is not a huge concern in terms of them having to slow down the car like they did in 2022. Check

2. He has to have a teammate that will not sabotage him ✔️

Listen im not saying Carlos ever sabotaged Charles but im also not NOT saying that. The impeding (frankly he does that to everyone), the preferable strategies, the purposefully trying to prove he's better (he's not), the whining on the radio, Silverstone, Singapore, refusing to help at any given moment. You get it.

I do not see Lewis (yes I know I called him half of brocedes just yesterday but I was in shock ok? Look away) doing any sort of thing like that to charles. Mostly because Lewis has nothing to prove.

Am I sad and dissapointed that once again Charles has to fight tooth and nail to get that n1 driver position? Yes. Would I have preferred Ferrari to give him a teammate aware of his role (the role being fighting for Charles)? Yes. Do I think Charles can beat 41yo Lewis? Yes I genuinely think he can. I still wouldve liked it if he had it a little bit easier for once in his life but we work with what we can get.

What will happen in 2026 if they are somehow competitive and the team has to choose who to help with the wdc fight? They will probably choose Lewis. Unless Charles is far ahead in points. I am still pissed that they made him have it so difficult and in the end he still might end up having to help someone else get a wdc. I will never not be bitter about this. But I'll move on cos I am not a bitter person (she said lying like a liar).

All in all anything is better than what he had the last 2 years (and probably this year) so I gave it a check just for the fact that it's not Carlos.

3. Ferrari has to want to do it with him, not anyone else. ???

This one im not so sure about folks. If this was true they would not sign the biggest name in the sport who is chasing a record breaking title. They simply wouldn't. A team that believes in you believes in you. They do not bring you competition. They bring you help. Like Christian brought Max help. Like Toto Wolff chased Lewis' help away in 2021 which ultimately led to Lewis losing (yes I do think he would've won 21 if Toto had not chased Bottas away when Lewis needed him most)

That leads me to my final point (more like a question): Why did Charles sign The deal if he didnt feel like Ferrari wants to win with him? I dont think he would do that. What if Lewis IS the help Fred is bringing Charles? I personally would love to see Charles and Lewis bringing Ferrari back to its glory days together. Lewis by bringing in the team and reputation, Charles by being a generation talent, Il predestinato my beloved. Either Ferrari lied to us (and Charles) or Fred is COOKING!!! Honestly now that we're in this, it all comes down to: I'm just waiting and seeing what will happen and I trust Charles immensely which means I also trust him to leave if he doesn't feel like his dream is being taken care of. That is it.

#f1 #charles #f1 analysis #honestly when i started writing this i was way less positive than by the end of it #if you ever have difficulty processing something just sit down and write it down #i know reading it from someone else is encouraging but nothing is better than coming to a conclusion on your own #frankly now i cant wait for what 2025 and fred and charles have in store for us in the future #charles leclerc #lewis hamilton

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