#that huge ass fucking SMILE like ohhh i know what u are

[butdaddyilovehimmm]

fellas, is this how you look at the person you're going against?

[poppy-metal]

miss poppy im sorry for flooding ur inbox but i have patrick with a corruption kink on the brain. patrick who finds it so cute that u’ve never smoked before, telling u to just take one hit of his cig and he can’t help but smile as u cough to the point of tears. patrick who offers to give u a massage but tells u to take ur top off and maybe ur bra too because “it’ll feel so much better for u this way”. patrick who invites u to his place to hang out and maybe get high and asks if u watch porn, and when u shake ur head and tell him not really, u can almost see the twinkle in his eye as he offers to show u the nasty shit he watches (he sees ur thighs clench together……..and tells u it’s okay if u like watching it….)

gujhhhhh

know he watches disgusting stuff like anal creampies and titfucking videos just vile gross sex but it makes your pussy clench when he has you on your tummy. neck pulled back with a fist in your hair making you watch the girl on the screen get her asshole obliterated in a lockerroom by a huge cock. you can't help the clench of your pussy around patricks dick pounding in and out of you at the sight even if its morally impermissible. and he feels it, feels the the tight little clutch of your hole on him and huffs as he comes down on your slick back, practically smothering you into his mattress with his weight.

"yeah, you like that shit? see how she takes it up her tight little ass. that's what I'm gonna do to you one of these days -" the hole in question, clenches around nothing at the promise, against your will, like its hungry for it. you feel the coarse hair covering his pelvis rub back and forth over the round curve of your ass as he rocks in and out of you. "- gonna open that hole of yours up on this dick. fuck it how i fuck this pussy."

"patrick -" you gasp, eyes fluttering at his crude words. the video in front of you. your eyes open again because you cant look away from the visual, the womans tightly furled hole becoming soft and gaping as the dick plunges in and out of it, a thick layer of cream outlining the rim. the wet smack of the mans balls reverberating off her pussy. you imagine your hole opening up like that for patrick, going from tight to loose, eating up his fat cock just like your cunt does. "- y-you cant- you cant - its too tight - i dont want it - pat- oh- ohhh-"

"then why can't you take your eyes off it, huh? quit sucking on my dick from watching some chicks ass get pounded and I'll stop."

you can't. you can't look away. can't stop your pussy from squeezing around him.

patricks groan of approval vibrates through your whole body as he presses you further into the bed. really start hammering his hips into your ass to plunder that pussy.

"that's what i fucking thought. gonna be my little anal princess - shit - aren't you? gonna let daddy have this ass."

his palm comes down hard on one of your bouncing cheeks as he says it, prompting you to squeal. the laptop playing the video falls off the bed but neither of you care, lost in it now. pretenses gone as you arch your back and fuck your pussy back onto his cock.

"yes! yes, daddy, s'yours - yes, yes, yes -"

"good girl."

[aroacesigma]

do you have any sigzai hcs (or just hcs about sigma or dazai separately)

you're going to regret asking this . headcanons under the cut cause im gonna feel annoying otherwise . most of them are what i headcanon as happening like post canon in a nice world where everyone is alive and happy lol

sigzais <3

ok so to me they are THE transmasc qpps ever . i might be projecting a little but both dazai and sigma are both so transmasc to me. on one hand you have sigma who wears 10 billion shirt layers and a long ass coat and goes on and on about being an ordinary man, and then on the other hand you have dazai who also wears clothes like that and bandages over his chest

hc sigma as oriented aroace with ???? orientation . hes just very confused . theyre so confused . and dazai as bi aroacespec and not particularly averse to any stuff just doesnt feel the attraction most of the time

poor sigma has spent all this time around fyolai like 'god why the fuck are people like this' and then he meets dazai and is like ohhhhhhh. oh .

when sigma joins the ada (and they will u mark my words) him and dazai end up sharing an apartment

at first dazais excited because maybe he wont be living off horrible cooking

unfortunately sigma also cannot cook for shit . he fucking sucks . legitimately the only thing he can cook is cookies in a packet mix .

sigma is unfortunately going through the same phase that kids of controlling parents go through when they finally get freedom, which is making a bunch of stupid decisions . dazai , being the wonderful boyfriend he is, is encouraging all the dumb decisions because he thinks its funny

most of their dates is just going to cafes because sigma has the worlds most horrendous sweet tooth and sigma has no moral objections to guilt tripping him into it

despite being pretty bad at it themself, sigma has a tendency to hit dazai with a pillow until he takes care of himself

vice versa dazai will be a distracting little bitch and wont stop if he thinks sigma is overworking himself

sigma

he/they sigma is so real to me btw just need everyone to know this . they like messing around with neos as well sometimes i think

even though he's pretty much always tired , isnt really a huge fan of coffee , definitely prefers really fancy tea and energy drinks

decided to run with the whole purple thing cause of his hair , abolutely loves the colour. anything he owns is purple if they can get it .

smiles all happy while listening to music in a way that makes you think its something nice . its not . his only musical requirements are loud and screaming to drown out the Anxiety™

not my headcanon but i saw someone say once that they headcanon that occasionally people get an uncanny valley kinda vibe from looking at him cause of his weird origins and honestly i think thats pretty interesting

very happy to join the ada . not quite as impressed by the paycheck .

like , really not impressed by the paycheck . theyre struggling with the dwindling clothes budget . i can totally see him trying to decide whether he wants dinner or new earrings . and probably picking the earrings .

they get along with everyone at the agency really well . a few people dont really trust him straight up but atsushi and dazai vouching for him shuts that down relatively quickly

he gets along the best with atsushi

they have a friendly rivalry with kunikida . agency productivity going straight up just because those two keep trying to outdo each other

dazai

100% has multiple troll accounts online . he enjoys being a menace . not in the mean way , in the absolutely fucking infuriating kind of way

remained in denial (or more oblivious really) about being trans until he was 16 because he asked chuuya if everyone felt like that one time and chuuya was like well yeah (also trans and stupid)

on a related note (this one is kind of about dazai and chuuya but it still counts) mori was kind of like ohhh teenage boys are so much easier to deal with right ? kouyou decided it was best not to inform him that hrt gives you mood swings .

adhd. adhd. adhd.

hes a candy crush mum . its a problem .

eats everyone at the ada's food . but he doesnt eat the whole thing he'll just take a bite . its high up on kunikidas 'things that make me want to string dazai up by his legs and attach him to a ceiling fan' list

has been known to send 12 yr olds graphic violent death threats after losing to them in video games

he has the music taste of a 14 yr old cishet girl . i will let you decide what that entails .

my deepest apologies for making you read all this but i love them both dearly and i have lots of Thoughts

[actuallysaiyan]

Yamcha NSFW alphabet, please? 😁

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Yamcha is super sweet with his aftercare. He loves to hold you in his arms for a little while after, his cock still deep inside of you. He’ll praise you as you can feel his seed leaking out of you. He then gets you all cleaned up and will get you water or something to eat if you are feeling it. He’s a big fan of pillow talk and cuddling and will not leave your side or fall asleep afterwards.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Yamcha would probably have to say his arms or legs are his favorite. He has a wonderful physique and he is very strong, despite what others may say. Yamcha also would probably say his smile is his favorite body part. The man is kind of vain but he is a good man.

On his lover, he is a sucker for beautiful eyes. They are the window to the soul. He sees how you are feeling just through your eyes and he knows when you are sad or unhappy. He wants to see your eyes shine when you are smiling and so happy. He also loves thighs. He just wants to be buried between your thighs for hours as they squeeze his face while you cum.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s so dirty with this. He loves cumming all over you and gets really aroused when you are all painted up with his seed. If you give him a blow job, you can expect him to give you the ultimate facial. Yamcha cums a lot and he will literally just unload his balls all over your pretty face. Then he scoops some of it up on his finger and feeds it to you. He’s also not opposed to cumming deep inside of you if you let him.

Yamcha is a big fan of teasing and edging you. He’ll keep you on the edge for hours just to hear you beg him to let you cum. He loves the pathetic mewls and whimpers you make whenever he’s got you so close to cumming. You better be ready for this.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He definitely has stolen a pair of your panties and uses it to masturbate. Whether or not you know it exists, he doesn’t care. He loves the silky feeling of it wrapped around his cock while he pumps his hand up and down and thinks of you. He’ll sniff them too and just imagine your pussy on his face. He loves it when you ride his face, so that’s definitely something that gets him off.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He had a few one night stands, so he wasn’t completely clueless. Yamcha learns fairly quickly, and while he isn’t the master of every technique, you know he is doing everything to make you feel loved and wanted and definitely keeps you satisfied. He will never let you go unsatisfied.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Yamcha loves 69. It’s his favorite position and it gets the job done correctly. He loves it when you sit on his face and wrap your gorgeous lips around his hard cock. Whenever you aren’t doing 69, Yamcha also loves having you in the missionary position but with your legs spread wide or up on his shoulders so that he can fuck you nice and deep. Anything to be able to fuck you deeply or to have you both cumming quickly.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s definitely goofy and loves to tell dirty jokes while he’s fucking you. Yamcha loves having fun sex and he wants you to moan and laugh. He wants you to have a good time, so expect lots of cheesy and sleazy dirty talk as he fucks you hard. Sometimes, he can be serious and loving especially when he’s feeling needy.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s got a small patch of pubic hair that is very dark and coarse. He keeps it nice and clean and will trim it. He’s not a huge fan of shaving and actually enjoys it when you don’t shave either(unless you aren’t into that, then Yamcha is happy with whatever you like). He’s got a slight trail of dark hair that leads down into his pants as well.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

This depends on how Yamcha is feeling, but most of the time he loves to treat sex and intimacy like a good time or a game. That’s not to say that Yamcha is playing head games or anything like that. He just enjoys having a good time with you and he loves to make sure that you are happy and feeling good. Sometimes, he gets very romantic and buys you stuff and plans special nights out at the fancy love hotel. It all depends on how he’s feeling.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He masturbates a healthy amount. Even if he fucks you that day, that doesn’t mean he’s going to not masturbate. He loves playing with toys and watching porn and he will absolutely lose his mind if you join him. Nothing better than for the both of you to watch some porn and masturbate together. Yamcha won’t be able to resist for long and he’ll just fuck you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Yamcha is kind of a vanilla guy, so his kinks are limited. He’s open to trying new things but he loves things that are tried and true. Some of his kinks involve lingerie, toys, spanking, squirting, tongue fucking and titty fucking. You could probably open his eyes to new things if you are both interested in it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

This one is really simple. Yamcha wants to fuck you somewhere privately. He doesn’t really wanna get caught. He loves just being able to take his time with you without getting interrupted or distracted by something else. He loves fucking you on the bed, but he’s not opposed to fucking on the couch or in the shower. Anything to get you alone and somewhere private...

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Yamcha is a sucker for revealing clothing. He finds you so damn sexy and he just wants you to flaunt that gorgeous body of yours. Anytime you wear something revealing, it gets his blood pumping. Yamcha is so turned on by this. He also loves when you give him that look, where you bite your lower lip and raise one eyebrow. Rub his thigh and tell him how you wanna be alone, and he’s there.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He will not be okay with anything that either hurts you seriously or embarrasses you. He’s not into anything involving feces or urine, but if you were up for it, he’d probably consider it honestly. It’s just not really his kind of thing. He’s also not super into sharing you or having semi-public sex.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Ohhh Yamcha loves going down on you. It’s one of his favorite things in the world. The way you look down at him with that fucked out look and the taste of your arousal and he’s just immediately rock hard. The sounds you make and the wet sounds coming from your pussy. It’s just all so damn sexy. He’ll edge you for hours and then when he thinks you should cum, he makes you squirt.

But if you want to reciprocate and go down on him, Yamcha is so weak for that. He loves it when you both lie on the bed and you just worship his cock for hours. He’ll edge himself as best as he can when you do this. Play with his balls though, and he’s cumming quick. It’s one of his ultimate weaknesses.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

This all depends on you. If you are feeling like you wanna get pounded, you better believe Yamcha will fuck you rough and fast. He’ll slap your ass and push your head down on the pillow while his cock slams into you over and over again. But, if you are feeling more needy and wanting love, he’s sensual. He’ll hold you close and shower you with praise and give you all the kisses while he slowly rocks his hips.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

There are times for these, and Yamcha is definitely grateful when he can fuck you over not being able to fuck you, but he’s not a huge fan of quickies. He wants to fuck you for hours if he can, and if he doesn’t get the time for that, then he’ll definitely settle for a good quickie.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

This depends. He loves to experiment with you, but he doesn’t want to risk anything where it could result in death or harm. He also isn’t into doing anything in public, so you can expect him to keep the experimentation in the bedroom.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Yamcha can last a long time, and he’s good at edging himself if he needs to. Sometimes he gets very excited and cums quickly, but that’s usually only when you’ve been apart for a long time. He can go for a few rounds, but his refractory period is fairly normal. It takes him a little while to get hard.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He loves toys and generally uses them during sex. He loves going to the sex store with you and buying you all kinds of things that’ll help make you cum easier. He’s not afraid of having you use them on him either and actually loves it if you initiate with this.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He can be a tease a lot of the time, but it takes him everything not to just give in when you start begging. He loves listening to your pathetic little sounds when you plead to him, but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t turn him on completely.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s loud and he loves grunting and groaning. Yamcha wants you to know he’s enjoying his time with you as well. He’ll be so loud when he cums and it’s honestly so damn sexy to hear him moan like this. He loves to talk dirty too and make some jokes.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Yamcha is definitely into roleplay. If you wanna get into costume and character, he’s going to be so turned on by this. Your favorite roleplay is definitely sensei and student, but you both also enjoy playing doctor.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Yamcha is very muscular and very well built. His cock is long and thick, boasting a good 8 inches. It’s got lots of veins that drag against your walls and drive you crazy. He’s uncut and the base is definitely thicker than the head.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He’s so damn horny for you all of the time and he’s going to fuck you at least once a day, but sometimes he understands that he can’t always fuck you. He thinks about you a lot and he’s often fantasizing about when he’s going to fuck you next.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sometimes he is out like a light just right after sex, so he does tend to expend a lot of energy and tire himself out. He’ll always make sure you are comfortable before he falls asleep.

[literallythebiggestfuckingsimp]

Twenty-four days of hell

jj maybank x reader

( GIF CREDIT: @rudypankows )

Twenty-four days. It’s been twenty-four days since you last spoke to JJ, and it’s killing you. Your heart feels heavier and heavier with each day passing, and the fight won’t stop replaying itself in your head. It’s torture for you, and as hard as you will for it to just stop, it won’t.

“Well, maybe I don’t want to be just friends!” you screamed, and his eyebrows furrowed.

“The fuck you mean, just friends!?” he had yelled back, equally as angry.

You shook your head. “You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t think I do!” JJ yelled, taking a step closer.

You scoffed. “I’m not gonna keep playing this game with you, Jay. I’m not gonna keep letting you fuck with my head, it’s not fair.”

“I’m not playing a fucking game, Y/N! So let’s just stop this shit and pretend it didn’t happen, alright!”

“No,” you said. You watched as JJ’s jaw clenched. “No, I’m not gonna keep pretending like everything’s okay. Like you’re not with me every morning and running back to her every night. I’m not fucking doing it, JJ.”

“I’m not—“ he paused, sucking in a breath. “I’m not fucking around with you, okay? I promise, I’m not.”

You shook your head, disbelieving. “I’m done.” You turned your back, walking away, only for his hand to grip onto your wrist. You spun around to face him.

“You’re done, are you? You’re just gonna— just gonna walk away like I don’t even fucking exist to you anymore.”

You pushed him back and he stumbled, his jaw slack and tears in his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

That was the last time you had seen him.

That moment twenty-four days ago on the beach was the last time you had heard his voice, seen his face, touched his skin, and you were lost without him. You don’t think you realised how much that stupid little fight would affect you, but you just couldn’t keep doing it.

You couldn’t keep pretending like you were okay when you saw her hand in his, when you saw her lips crashing against his, their bodies a jumble of limbs between each other. Not when it was your hand in his only a few hours ago, your lips on his, your bodies intertwined.

It was breaking you. Slowly but surely, it was shattering you to pieces.

You didn’t think it would be this hard when you agreed to it at first. When JJ had kissed you that night, and you had kissed him back, not caring that he had a girlfriend, only focused on the feeling of his lips on your skin.

It was stupid. And for the first time, you think you remember why you and Kie had come up with the ‘no pogue on pogue macking’ rule. Because all it takes is two, and the whole group comes crashing down with you. And then, well, then you’re lost.

You don’t know if Cheryl knows what you had been doing with JJ for a good month or two now, and you tell yourself that you don’t care, but that’s not true. You care too much, if anything.

If he hadn’t told her, so what? He doesn’t care about you, you know that. He doesn’t give a shit, and neither should you. But, god, you can’t help it. You can’t help that you’re helplessly in— not in love, no. It wasn’t love, not yet, but it could be ... You’re helplessly in .. like with him. It sounds stupid, but you don’t know how else to describe your infatuation.

You’re lying on the soft grass, picking it with your fingers, staring up into the sky, thinking about him. This is where you had met JJ first, at your 7th birthday party. Unbeknownst to you, your mum had invited practically the whole neighbourhood. You weren’t rich, so it was only a small party with jugs of squash, a few bowls of crisps and a huge cake your mum and little sister had baked for you.

It was nice.

At first, you were shocked when all these random kids showed up, because you didn’t know these people. You’d seen a few of them at school, sure, but you really had no idea who they were. You got scared and hid yourself away in your room, sure that no one would come into the house.

That was until someone did.

A small blond headed boy with shining blue eyes opened the door, looking behind him to make sure no one was following him. You stayed silent, confused as to what he was doing. He shut the door quietly, sneaking over to your desk and taking your favourite pen.

Clearly, he had not seen you sat in the corner of the room, looking at him annoyed.

“Can I help you?” you spoke up, eyes narrowed and glaring. He jumped when he head your voice, turning around at the speed of lightning to face you.

“Uh, yeah, I was just, uhhh,” he said, panicked, “looking for the bathroom.”

“Rightttt,” you stretched out, standing up and brushing off your legs. “And that’s why you took my pen?”

His eyes widened slightly, and he laughed it off. “Ohhh, this?” he asked, holding the pen up. It was pink and sparkly, you weren’t sure why he’d want it. “Nice pen. Very sparkly.”

You just glared at him, hands crossed over our chest. “Yeah, and it’s mine. Why are you in here, anyway?”

“Told you, bathroom.” He shrugged, looking at you curiously. “Why are you here? Isn’t this, I dunno, your party?”

You huffed and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, but I don’t know like anyone here,” you admit.

“Im JJ,” he said, holding out his hand to shake your hand. You eye it suspiciously at first, but eventually give in and shake it.

“Y/N,” you nod. He grinned, and you forgot about how he had tried to steal your pen.

You didn’t know it then, but you had made a forever friend. You didn’t know that you would fall in love with him then, that you would later come to get your heart broken by him.

You didn’t know that he would keep the pen, and although you both know it’s stupid, he still has it, tucked away in his dresser as a ‘emblem of your friendship.’ You won’t ever admit it, but you love that he still has it. In fact, you think it’s adorable.

Oh, how much you want to go back to then, when everything was so much simpler.

Your thoughts are broken by the familiar ding of your phone, indicating a new message. You know that it’s probably just another text from Kie, John B, or Pope, but you check anyway, just to be sure.

JB🖕🏻

get ur ass to mine. mandatory

pogue meeting.

Y/N

mandatory? that’s a big word,

surprised you know it

JB🖕🏻

ha. ha.

JB🖕🏻

just get here

Y/N

i’m good, thanks

JB🖕🏻

u can’t just keep ignoring him,

we haven’t seen u in ages

Y/N

watch me.

With that, you switch off your phone, turning it on silent and continuing to lounge on the grass, looking up at the sky.

—

“Ugh, dude,” John B groans, putting his phone on the counter. “She says she’s not coming. Can’t you just go and talk to her already?”

JJ glares at him. “Hell no.”

“Come on, JJ,” Kiara whines. “It’s not fair that none of us get to see her anymore.”

“She’s right, you fucked up. Big time. And we’re paying the consequences,” Pope adds.

JJ rolls his eyes, taking a large swig of his beer. “You’re just agreeing with her ‘cause she got you pussy whipped.”

“I do not,” Kiara says, glaring at him. Pope stays quiet, eyes slightly wide with the confrontation.

“Whatever, man, just talk to her,” says John B, plopping himself down on the sofa.

“Fine,” JJ spits, grabbing his beer and sauntering out of John B’s house.

“You better not fuck up again!” Kie calls out behind him. JJ grumbles under his breath on his way to yours. He knows the way by muscle memory, and at first he really isn’t going to go — he’s just gonna pretend he did and say you didn’t want to talk. But then he gets closer to your house, and he starts to think about how much he’s missed you. How much he wants you back in his life, so he takes a chance.

—

Your peace is disrupted as you hear the soft pads of feet against the gravelly pavement, walking onto the grass and over towards you.

You know who it is, and you hate that you do, because you’ve memorised him down to the weight of his footsteps. JJ.

You make no move to recognise the fact that he’s there, but you both know you know he is. Your eyes glisten with tears, and he gulps, because he did that to you. Him, who would never dream of hurting you, not in a thousand years, has. And it nearly breaks him inside.

Eventually, he comes to lay beside you. Neither of you speak, and a tense silence fills the air. It’s not a comfortable silence, rather filled with unsaid words and the heavy weight of hurt and guilt instead.

“I broke up with Cheryl yesterday,” he says, after a long silence. You don’t answer him, just continuing to stare up at the sky, but your heart gives a small lurch of joy.

Maybe he does care, after all ...

Your words fail you, and all you can say is, “Okay.” This is the moment you’ve been dreading for those full twenty-four days, actually having to talk it out with him, face even more rejection than you already have.

You don’t think he likes you any more than a friend. You don’t think he likes you the way you like him. But you’re wrong.

“Okay?” he asks incredulously. “Okay? Is that all you’re gonna say to me?”

You sigh. “I don’t know what else there is to say.”

“A lot, Y/N. A whole damn lot,” he says, and he sounds like he doesn’t want to talk about the ‘a lot’, and you understand that, because you don’t either.

“We ... ” you start, but you trail off. “We don’t have to talk about it now. Y’know, take it slow kind of thing.”

JJ smiles. You can’t see him, because you’re looking up at the sky, but you know that he smiles because you know him.

“Okay,” he says.

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

JJ reaches out to intertwine his fingers with yours, and you let him, squeezing his hand in return. He squeezes back.

There’s a comfortable silence, and you both lay on the soft grass, looking up at the sky, holding hands, grinning like love-crazed fools — which, you suppose, you are.

The silence doesn’t just mean silence at this point. It means all the months of going back and forth meant something more. It means, in so many more ways than words can say, hope. Hope for the future and hope for each other.

So you keep the silence, and you bask in that hope, because the twenty-four days of hell and all that happened before doesn’t matter anymore.

All that matters is you and him, and the hopeful silence you lay in, touching in such a simple but intimate way with so many unspoken words between you that the silence seems to sum out.

Twenty-four days of hell and it was worth it.

A/N: hi :)

also oops there’s a little fault in our stars reference there by accident

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom Ch.4

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

    The man turns to look at you. “The fuck? Why’re you in the men’s room?” He says, slurring his words a bit, and putting up a hand to brace his weight against the nearest wall. He fucking reeks of liquor that you can smell from here, and his hair is slightly disheveled.

“I’m not in the men's room. You're in the ladies' room," You say, boldly. You feel the alcohol you’ve consumed making its way to your head, and the words flow out of your mouth freely. "And if you don't mind, I'll be leaving." You move to step past him and towards the door. As soon as your fingertips brush the door handle though, a hand shoots out and grabs you by the wrist, stopping you. You freeze.

"You are such a rude bitch, you know that?" He says, pushing himself away from the wall and facing his body towards you. You try and pull your arm away from him, but his grip is tight. What the fuck? You're going to snap this bastard's neck.

"Let go of my arm." You say, livid. You can see his eyes boring into you. He looks down at your collarbone and breasts, his eyes moving all over any patch of bare skin you just happen to be showing tonight. You feel exposed in the worst way possible. Trying to move your arm out of his grip again, you feel his fingers tighten ever so slightly.

"Girls like you, you think you can just get whatever you want by dressing like that and going to a bar," He says, spitting a little and glaring at you. 

"I'm not TRYING to do anything, let my arm go you bastard-" you get cut off as he tugs you forward, he's now only inches from your face and the smell of musty cigarettes and shitty vodka hits your senses. It's utterly revolting, and you hold back gagging visibly. You hear noise coming from outside the bathroom.

"You are taking an awwwfully long time in there, Y/N.” You hear Spinel say from behind you as she’s opening the door. She audibly stops. “What the fuck is going on here?” 

    Before you can even attempt to comprehend what is going on, you hear an extremely loud THUD on the opposite side of the bathroom and you feel as though you are launched several feet forward. You feel yourself squished against something and open your eyes to see something shiny. Spinel is holding you against herself, a single arm wrapped around you. Her other arm is comically stretched out and her fist is huge, holding your harasser against the now damaged wall. 

"You think you can just waltz right into the ladies room? Here? In this bar? You're stupider than ya’ look." She says, and tightens her grip around you. Ohhh my god, you’re such a useless lesbian, because you can feel her breast pressed against your arm and you’re trying SO HARD to not have an internal meltdown right now. You steel your face and try your best to dull your heart beats, because they’re currently Very Loud. Fuck. You hear the man whimper. “I thought I told ya to Leave. My. Friend. Alone.” She enunciates each word clearly, and angrily.

“Look, I don’t want no trouble..” You can hear him say, barely.

“You don’t want ‘no’ trouble?” She says, openly mocking him. “Shoulda thought about that before you came in here!” You hear the door slam open again, and can make out two pairs of feet running in.

“Spinel! We heard a loud noise! You guys okay??” Bismuth rushes over to the two of you, looking very concerned. She notices you in Spinel’s arms, and then the man Spinel is currently holding against the wall. “What happened!?” Lapis is standing next to Bismuth with her hands on her hips, and she looks pissed about the wall damage. Oops.

“This guy here,” Spinel shakes him a bit, and some of the wall crumbles around him onto the floor. You are trying and failing at not looking at Spinel’s gem. It glimmers every time she moves, and it sits perfectly right in between-. You look away before anyone catches you. “Came into the ladies room to harass a girl alone. I stopped him.” 

“Y/N? You okay?” Bismuth asks.

“Yeah. Was just surprised.” You say, like you’re not a complete disaster. 

“I’m just glad no one got hurt.” Bismuth says, and starts walking over to the trapped man. She nods to Spinel, who then slowly lets the man drop into Bismuth’s hold. She lifts him up by his armpits.. kind of like a child. You hold back a laugh. Bismuth holds him out in front of her, and squints at him. “And you.. You sir, broke like, 4 house rules. I’m gonna have to make you leave.” She makes her way over to the door with the man in tow, flopping him over her shoulder. Lapis turns to glare at the wall (and all of its damage), and then at Spinel, and turns to leave.

"We'll talk about this later." Is all she says, as the door closes behind her. 

    It is now so quiet in here that you could hear a pin drop. Spinel is still holding you, and you can hear her breathing ever so softly. “U-um,” You attempt to find your voice.

“Oh! Whoops,” She quickly drops her arm from holding you, and visibly deflates a little in relief. “I was so caught up that I..” She trails off, and her gaze makes its way over to your face. Her pink irises find yours. “I’m just glad you’re actually okay.”

“Me too.” You say, rubbing the side of your arm absentmindedly, still feeling a bit warm where she was touching you. Spinel notices your arm movement.

“Did I hurt you just then? I’m so sorry, I-”

“No, I’m fine.” You cut her off. “Still trying to wrap my mind around all of that. It just happened all so quickly.” You lie. You’ve dealt with worse men, in worse situations. This wasn’t something you couldn’t have handled yourself, if it got to that. She just didn’t need to know that you were having an internal gay crisis over being manhandled by a pretty girl. Alien. Whatever. “And thank you. For saving me, I mean. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come in, just then. Seriously, his breath smelled so bad.” You give her a warm, earnest smile. “I would have done that for anyone, and besides,” You watch her cheeks turn pink as she shrugs. “Someone else was trying to talk to me while you were gone, and I wasn’t really feeling it, and you were taking forever..” She crosses her arms over her chest, angling her face away from you. Is she trying to hide the fact that she’s blushing? Holy shit she’s so cute. You find yourself embarrassed to admit that you’re completely enthralled with this pink alien. In a bathroom.

    Story of your life really.

“So.. you came in here because you missed me?” You say, grinning, and wink at her.

“No! Not at all.” She denies a little too quickly. You suddenly want to make a hobby out of teasing her. “A-anyway, let’s just go back out if you’re finished in here?” You take a moment to look around at the bathroom. It’s destroyed. They will have to re-tile that entire wall.

“Yeah, I’m done here anyway.” You say as you move past Spinel towards the door. You grab the brass handle and pull open the door, holding it for Spinel to come out of the bathroom as well. 

    Outside, the entirety of the bar is still pretty lively. A few people have left as it’s nearing 11, but there’s a good 40-50 people still around. You see a rowdy group of young women laughing and swatting each other playfully while they watch a handsome blond man play a ballad. There’s quite a few spaces open up now at the counter. You don’t see Bismuth there, though. You look around and spot her at the entrance, talking to Lapis and the bouncer. Probably making sure that guy never comes in again, you think. You make your way back over to your previous spot, and Spinel follows you. Once the both of you sit down, you pull out your phone, and open up the right application.

“I hope your beer is still cold.” Spinel says to you as you swipe past a couple messages, getting to the bottom of the group chat.

“It better still be.” You take a swig, and make a face. It’s.. drinkable, you guess. “Also, it’s cider, not beer. I can’t for the life of me stand the taste of beer, it always tastes like shit. Don’t even get me started on IPAs.” You reply to your friends without reading half of the stupid shit they must’ve said while you weren’t paying them any attention.

    Y/N: I was attacked in the bathroom. Wild day, I know.

    Alex: it fucking serves him right to be honest

    Alex: lil bastard had it coming

    Alex: so now my brother cant look at sonic the same ever again

    Alex: w

    Alex: awrfawefaffasdfa

    Alex: WHAT

    Harper: What!? Are you okay????

    Alex: the fucking alien!!!!!!!! i knew it!!!!!

    Alex: she fucking attacked u in the bathroom when u were alone!!

    Alex: she saw her window of opportunity

    Alex: and POUNCED

    Alex: im sorry that ur dead now

    Y/N: I’m fine. The “alien” was actually the one that saved me.

    Y/N: And her name’s Spinel, you shitlord. Have some class.

    Alex: no

    Alex: and make me

    Harper: can’t tell him to have what he’ll never grasp. ;)

    Harper: i’m glad you’re okay though. <3

    Harper: what exactly happened?

    Alex: fuck you

    Harper: no thanks. i know im bi, but even i have standards.

    Y/N: There was this guy that harassed me over drinks earlier, right?

    Y/N: Spinel actually told him off after he wouldn’t leave me alone the first time.

    Y/N: And then, when I went to the bathroom, he came IN.

    Y/N: He literally fucking grabbed my arm ya’ll I was mad af. The audacity.

    Y/N: So then Spinel comes in and punches him against the wall??

    Y/N: Like she killed the wall. Guy was fine. They kicked him out.

    Alex: damn

    Harper: i’m glad she was there to save your ass since i couldn’t be.

    Harper: and what did we learn today Y/N???

    Harper: you go out with US and not ALONE.

    Y/N: Bitch you left me to be across the country for summer. I have new friends now.

    Alex: oh so im chopped liver now huh

    Alex: one sexy murderous alien saves u and now ur too good for us

    Alex: im telling ur fuckin dad

    Y/N: NO.

    Y/N: YOU WOULDN’T.

    Alex: tee hee

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve only ever had whisky.” She replies, taking a drink. You set your phone down for a second.

“I’d offer for you to try mine, but this isn’t in ideal shape.” She raises one of her eyebrows. “It’s a bit warm.” You look at the bottle with slight disdain. “And this isn’t even a great one, regardless. There’s a few better tasting, actually.. you should try those sometime.” “With you?” She says with a questioning look on her face.

“I, um.” You look at her. “I was going to give you a list of suggestions, but if you wanted to drink with me again, we could do that too.” You say as you wiggle your eyebrows at her. She flushes red immediately.

“I wasn’t trying to impose, I just thought-”

“I’m just teasing. But.. if you do want a friend to drink with, I’m all yours.” You say, leaning on your left hand that's on the counter. “It’s not like I’m busy aside from work, anyway.” She’s staring at you with an expression you’re unfamiliar with, which is either longing, or concern. 

“I might take you up on that offer. I don’t have any human friends aside from Steven, and he’s only half.”

“And upon your general pool of human specimens, I’m your best choice?” You say and laugh. She gives you an exhausted look, which makes you laugh even more. “You got a phone?” You ask her, and take another sip. She reaches behind herself and pulls her phone out of her back pocket. 

“Steven gave me his old one a few weeks ago, I just don’t use it much.” You nod and take the phone from her hand. She doesn’t notice that you make sure your hand touches hers on purpose. You tap her phone open, and go to her contacts. And maybe, just MAYBE, you add a heart next to your name cheekily when you add it to her contacts. You text yourself a quick :).

“I added myself to your contacts. You should text me sometime. I also have your number now, too.” You hand her phone back to her. You grab your phone off the counter and the words “her smexy alien” are displayed on the lockscreen. You swiftly turn the screen back off, and down the rest of your nasty ass drink. Fucking christ, why are your friends like this.

“Hey. Spinel.” You turn to the voice in front of you. It’s Lapis. Her full attention was on the gem next to you.

“Yes?” Spinel says. She also downs the rest of her drink.

“You gonna pay for that wall, or what?” Lapis asks, leaning on the counter. She seems tired.

“I did do the damage, so I will, but I seriously think you should try to make that guy pay for this.” Spinel sighs. Lapis considers her for a second.

“We’ll see.” She says, and shrugs. She looks at you. “You want another one of those?” “Yes please.” You say. This will be your last, you think. It’s late. She opens the bottle for you, and swaps it with the empty one in front of you. 

“Yes, I will also take another one.” Spinel says to Lapis.

“I wasn’t going to ask you,” Lapis replies, and Spinel gives her a comically grave expression. “But since you insist, I guess I just might.” She smiles a little. She grabs a new glass, sets it on the counter, and plunks an ice cube into it. Then she grabs a brown bottle behind her, and pours Spinel another drink. She winks at Spinel as she grabs for the used glass. She walks away to a further sink, and starts helping a couple of other patrons who look like they’re about to head out.

“Sometimes, I don’t get her, but for the most part I like her. We both have problems.” Spinel says while watching Lapis from across the bar. She takes a long drink. You think fuck it, and do the same. 

“She reminds me of my cat, if I’m going to be honest.” You say, “Kind of moody, but still wants you to know that it’s there, and it exists.” 

“What’s a cat?” Spinel asks innocently. Your jaw drops.

"You don’t know what a cat is!?” You say, almost offended. You unlock your phone and go to your gallery, searching for your cat pics. You find one of the more recent ones of Jellybean, enlarge it, and show it to the gem. “This is Jellybean. She’s fluffy, stupid, and almost set herself on fire last week, true story.” Spinel eyes your phone screen.

“Oh, those things! I’ve seen them a few times, but they never let me near them.” She says, maybe a bit mournfully. “They look soft.” 

“They are.” You grin. “I should let you meet her sometime. She loves people. She’ll drool on your shoes though, so be careful. She’s a total weirdo.” Spinel looks at you like she’d actually love that. You feel like maybe you underestimated how alcohol would hit you tonight, because you feel it coming to you very quickly.

“I’d love to meet her. I don’t get out much, honestly. I’m still trying to find a balance in my daily life. Steven’s worried that I’ll.. I don’t know.” She shrugs, swirling the drink in her glass. Bismuth walks over to the two of you, grabbing several used glasses on the way and dropping them into a nearby sink.

“Y/N, I’m sorry about what happened to you earlier. Stuff like that never really happens here.” She says to you while making herself busy wiping down the counter. “And Spinel, seriously. Thanks for stepping in.” Spinel gives a noncommittal grunt in reply.

“Bis, if I were even as half as beefy as you are, that wouldn’t have been a problem. I’d dare him, actually.” You say, and finish your drink. You regret it a little, but Papa didn’t raise no quitter and you’ll learn your life lessons eventually. In the meantime, you just feel pleasantly drunk.

“Aw, shucks, Y/N. You’re so kind.” She chuckles and flexes a little. “I have enough muscle for the both of us.” She wipes down Spinel’s side of the counter, and takes the cash handed to her by the couple next to the two of you as they get up to leave.

“Ughhhhh.” Spinel says, slouching on her stool. “I need to walk home soon.. ‘gotta long day tomorrow.”

“You live close?” You ask her.

“Kind of. It’s on the opposite side of little homeworld, and a nearly 30 minute walk.”

“Are you sure you’re sober enough to make it all the way home by yourself?” You grin, teasing her. “You’re not gonna get like, 10 minutes into the walk home and pass out in a bush somewhere?” “No, I’m fine. I should be good enough for the walk.” She says while giving you a half-baked glare, and attempts to get up from her stool, albeit very wobbly. She stumbles a bit.

“Well, I was going to head out soon too.” You say, nodding at Bismuth that you’re ready to pay your tab. She makes her way over to you once she hands back the couple’s change to them.

“You guys good?” She asks. You nod in response.

“Yeah, gonna call it a night though,” you grab your card out of your wallet, and feel a little generous. Maybe a bit ballsy, too. You hand it over to Bismuth, who takes it. “For both tabs, please.” Spinel looks absolutely admonished and is about to argue, so you cut her off. “It’s thanks for earlier. Don’t argue with me.” She shuts her mouth promptly, and Bismuth laughs.

“I like that you two get along well. Warms my heart.” She says, looking at the two of you while working the register. She hands you back your card and the receipt slip.

“Oh, shut up.” Spinel glares. Bismuth just laughs at her and walks away. You put your things back into your bag, and regard Spinel. “Well, I’m off. You should message me soon, and we could hang out.” You say, and turn to move when Spinel takes a single step forward, and slips onto the floor with a loud crash. You look at her, and cannot help laughing.

“OW.” She exasperatedly sighs. You lean down and give her your hand, which she stares at for a second longer than necessary, and then grabs to pull herself up with. 

“Drunker than you thought, huh.” You say, giving her a smug look. You’re drunk yourself, but at least you know what you’re all about.

“Maybe,” She says, dusting off her pants and straightening herself back out. “Maybe I shouldn’t have ordered that last drink.” You still feel ballsy, and maybe a little courageous when you have a particular thought that you verbalize before actually considering in your mind. “Wanna come home with me?” You blurt out. She stares at you blankly for a second, and then her entire face flushes. “Not like that,” You quickly backpedal. “My place is about 10 from here. You can crash on my couch? And meet my cat.”

“I’d love to meet your cat.” She’s smiling, and she looks eager. Or drunk.

“Alright, let’s go then.” You say before you can think any better of it. If your father or friends knew.. Oh my god, your father and friends CAN’T know. Your friends would laugh forever, and what would your dad think!? ‘Chill dad, it’s no biggie, just gonna show this ex-bloodthirsty gem our cat. except she’s cute and cool and nice now’ You give silent thanks to whatever gods are out there that your dad didn’t come home tonight.

    You both meander your way outside of the bar, where the air is still thick with heat and humidity. A slight breeze rolls by, but it isn’t enough to cool your skin where you have already started to feel yourself sweating. You like summer, but hate nights like this. You’re both walking side by side, passing by houses and businesses alike, when she stumbles on a sidewalk crack and nearly topples you over. You catch her by both arms to steady her, impressing even yourself.

“Thanks,” She says and pushes some of her fringe out of her eyes to look at you. “You know.. you’ve been really nice this entire night. Humans haven’t been particularly cruel to me, all things considered.. but I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.” You keep walking with her.

“Well, you didn’t murder me like my friends thought you would, so tonight’s not a total bust.” At that, she laughs very loudly and openly. It’s a nice sound.

    Maybe it’s the warm night, or the alcohol in the both of your systems, but the flush on her cheeks makes your heart feel as bright as the gem on her chest, sparkling in the streetlights.

[bohemiansweede]

Tourbus Ch 2

Fanfic

Pairing Roger Taylor Reader

Warnings Smut 🔞

A /N Please like and reblog or if you want leave a comment

Thank you

Part 1

- You... Omg..... Shit..YOU.. Rog

You phanted as he bent down to kiss you, the kiss deepened at ones and your tounges were wrestling with eachother

- Mmmmm.. My good girl.. You want me to help you out huh he coed?

He kissed you while massagin your boob, twisting your nipple with his fingers.. Just like when he is twirling his drumsticks you thought, you just looked at him with open mouth

- Well darling.. I am impatiently waiting for an answer.. He inserted a finger into your wet core, you nearly jumped at the sudden feeling and gasped for air

-Omg Rog.. Yes.. Please.. Please Help me!!

You squirmed like a snake under his touch.. soo desperate

His finger never left you, instead he deeply kissed your inner thighs and trailed his tounge up to your clit and moaned against your core

He flicked his tounge faster and faster around your nub and his fingers pumped in and out of you

He expertly hooked his index finger  against the top of your wall slight curling it while he continued to lap at your wet folds. You felt the tension build in your stomach and your walls contracting around his fingers as he pumped them even faster . The slick sounds of your wetness and his mouth eagirly slurping sounded better to your ears than any music you’d ever heard. You bucked your hips and pushed his face closer between your legs and let out a shuttering breath feeling his fingers wriggling inside you

- Fuck.. Rog. . You whined, feeling the tension that had been building inside you for so long began to snap

Your face was filled with pleasure as you watched him, eyes closed and his hair a blonde mess

He let go of you and you and you came down from your high letting out a string of breathy moans and scraping your fingers through his messy hair. He inserted his fingers inside your tight pussy again You dug one hand into the plush pillows behind you and your back arched as you neared yet another orgasm without having fully recovered from the first, your breaths were ragged and short as you neared the edge, threatening to expload at any moment.

Roger looked up from between your legs

- I am not done with you yet.. You do know that right?

You shivered even more when his body adjusted between your legs

He reached in his backpocket for a condom while expertly sliding his pants down the waist

It was not so much space in the bunkbed but maked it even more thrilling, also by the feeling that anyone could walk in on you at any moment

You both giggled like teenagers and kissed.. Your lips nipped at his neck and he marked you as his

He placed his cock by your entrance

- You ready baby?

- Shut up Rog and fuck me already

Without warning and time to adjust his size he slammed in his whole length

You screamed his name and wrapped your legs around his waist pulling him even closer

He was now deep inside you, thrusted harder and harder grabbing your ass and lifted you up towards him so his tip brushed against your front wall.. He knew what he was doing and it felt so fuckin amazing

He reached down between your bodies and circled your clit with his thumb..

You felt your walls contracting once again

You scratched his back with your nails and bit his neck 

- AHHH FUCK Y/N... Ur a wild cat aren't ya he screamed

- Ahh.. Ohhh Rog.. Did u think I was a pussy huh

That was it

He stuttered a curse and emptied himself in the condom

-Ohh fuck shit... Damnit Y/N.. That was... Omg..

He kissed you slopply and looked into your eyes

- Yes.. You are my lil pussy... My own pussy...

That was NOT the last time you hooked up

You were wild.. Totally addicted by eachother

As soon as you got the chance you shared kisses and nibbles.

You made out and fucked all the time and everywhere.. In the bus, backstage, the studio, hotels, bathrooms.. Even behind his drumrisers

All people around you knew you were a thing.. Even tho he did not say the actual words.. You knew

He tried to make eye contact during the show.. glanced at you from behind his drumset always enjoying to watch you dance and sing along to their music, he always came up to you right after the concert

But deep inside you knew how he was, you knew he was a big flirt

The tour continued across America, you tried to not listen to the rumours, but every night you also saw the amount of women around him he looked and smiled, yes of course it was his job

But he clearly enjoyed it.. You kept thinking if he could be unfaithful.. Even tho you were not a couple in public.. still...

One day in Atlanta it became a fact

It was an after show party

You did not really feel like it.. you were not up for a party at all, you had been feeling little dizzy and naseus, but you thought one glass would not hurt anyone

You entered the room

The first thing you saw was in the middle of it there was a huge ice sculpture of the letter Q

It was crowded in there, booze was flowing and cocaine was spread around like white dust on the tables

There was hardly no air at all, you could not be here, you needed to get out

Without thinkin you took the other way out from the partyroom

You should't

You saw Roger

Up against the wall, his pants were pooled at his feet

His head throwned back holding a grip around the head of a cute red haired woman while she eagerly sucked his cock

His eyes met yours

His jaw almost dropped all the way down

He pushed her off him and tried to pull his pants up while running after you

You rushed down the stairs

Then it all became pitch black

You had no idea how long you had been out

But when you woke up it was a new day.. It was flowers next to you from Freddie and a note from your friend that she will come by and see you later

In a chair by the corner of the room sat Roger still sleeping

Then you remembered, you took the glass next to you and throwed it on the wall behind him

He woke up emieditly and came to your bed

- Y/N.... Omg... Are you ok?

He tried to place his hand on you, but you shoved him off

- WTF Roger! What the hell are you doing here?

The door opened before he could answer

- Ms Y/L/N, we are here to take a new ultra sound

What did he talk about.. Your head was spinning

The Doctor explained that you had a  bleeding myoma in your uterus and you had lost a lot of blood, but... your baby was fine

Baby?

- Ohh... My God... I am so so sorry.. Roger started to cry.. I didn’t know...

- I... I.. I did not know either... But..

-... Omg... I could've lost you... Both of you.. Hunnie.. I realized that now... I have been such an ass.. Yesterday.. I was high as a kite.. But it does not for give what I did.. Sweetie.. I am so so sorry..

He bent down his head on your chest you stroked his blonde hair.

You were angry, but even more you were thankful.. You had him, the band, your friend to support you and the baby was going to be ahlright

- I love you.. I really really love you Y/N.. The tour is almost over, When we come home.. Please move in with me. I want to be with you, only you Y/N Y/L/N... Marry me

He placed a soft kiss on your lips

- Yes.. Omg.. Roger... Yes.. Yes

Enjoy more reading in my masterlist

None of the pictures and gifs are mine

Credit to the owners

[bi-lullaby]

I loved your last rankings so much that I'm sending you another fun (?!) challenge! How would you rate all these male GA characters from your favorite to least favorite, no ties allowed? :) Alex, Derek, Richard, Mark, Owen, Jackson, Burke, George, Andrew, Linc and Ben? Good luck, and as always, feel free to include your reasons why because I love your answers!

Ohhh boy you give me life with those asks! Here we go:

1 - As no surprise to anyone: Alex. My baby had the best character development I’ve ever seen, really, brcaus ewhile it was huge, it was also paced and believable and stabilished and non-linear. He was a huge asshole with a concealed heart of gold in season one. In season 15, he’s a golden boy with a concealed asshole side, and the growth/diminishment of those sides weren’t always inversely proportionate, but adjusted to what each characteristic was brought out more by his surroundings/worked more on by himself. Also, he’s the person that has stuck with mer for the longest and through the most, which would put him in a high place in this list even if he wasn’t my favorite on his own. I also adore how, thematically, he’s so moved by the women in his life (bot just the romantic i terests while we are at it) for the betterment of himself and hsi ways. It’s not like Owen’s “I’ll need her to take care of me emptionally and shape herself to my desires so I can be in a good place, it’s recognizing those positive influences in his life and trying to emulate them/work with them/learn from them. Also about his theme, itms less the worn-out “guy is validated in being an asshole bc he had a tough life” and more “guy learns that his tough life doesn’t mean he gotta act like an asshole”. I love this character so much, ugh.

2 - Ben. A freaking Disney prince would be a sleeazy douche in comparison. I was so weirded out when Shobda decided to give so much focus to this random-ass character, then I was really turned off by his storyline with the cutting people open and all that (not necessarily because I thought he was wrong, I just felt the storyline was handled awkwardly and made him sound pelutant and irresponsible instead of a promissing, if stubborn, future surgeon. I’ve yet to watch Station 19, but this angel with a scalpel and a fire hose for wings deserves his own goddamn spin-off, for sure.

3 - My baby Andrew. Yeah, he is not that developed, has been inconsistent, his change from “freaking out over Maggie being his boss” to “marvellung at Meredith’s every movie even though she’s kinda even more his boss because she owns the hospital” was... A B R U P T. But I really enjoy this new Andrew - as a side note: I could not care less for him during the whole Sam storyline, he seemed like a toned down Jonhy Bravo - He’s smart and sweet and funny and worships Mer like the Wonder Woman she is. His relationships with Arizona, Amelia, Jo, Carina and now Alex need more screentime because they’re great (or have the potential to be so). He’s competent and brilliant and selfless (dropping the charges on Alex even if he was completely in the right, taking the blame for mer now) and so tender (his absolute gentleness in peds, taking care of Amy after the operation, being a moody, emotive boy because he lost his love instead of a macho men...). The future holds great things for him, and I’m excited to watch them unfold!

4 - Not on your list but I love: Tom. Boy is he nice. As I was figuring out this order, I realized he reminds me a lot of my favorite character (Dean Winchester) - or at least what I think Dean would be if he was older, richer and lived without the Supernatural World and so many traumas. His talk to April was so moving and I felt it really helped. He doesn’t stand on a moral high horse: He does what he thinks is right and damned be judgment. He’s empathetic, he’s romantic, he treats Teddy RIGHT. He deserves to have his own storyline and be more developed and show us kore of his awesomeness.

5 - Jackson. As I said in my ships rating answer, I’ve only started to care for him recently, but I really do care. He’s not a character I’d, like, write fic about, or long rants and meta, but I love his sibling-esque relationship with Mer and his relationship with Maggie and the way he connects with his mom and how this spoiled, immature transfer with something to prove became a respected, innovative surgeon and father who’s secure of himself and ready to explore different paths and ways and worldviews. I just wish him, and the Grey’s fandom, would be less defensive about the callout of his privileged life. Like. I’ve seen people write paragraphs upon paragraphs about how Maggie was a bitch for calling him privileged. And he is (for his hoards upon hoards of money growing up). That’s not too hard a concept to grasp. Plus, it’d be nice if he could treat Maggie as less of a consolation prize/second chance. Just because faith (or lack thereof) was a source of tension in his previous marriage, and he feels like changing that would have made everything better, doesn’t mean the same applies to his current relationship, or that Maggie is the one who should change -he learned, learned, and is back in square one seeing only his side of it - I really hope this season treats him more kindly and gives him happiness and peace!

6 - Richard. I love him for his parental-and-ish relationships, specially to Maggie, Mer and Jackson, but to Bailey and Callie too. That’s my favorite aspect of him, watching those gives me a nice, warm feeling in my tummy and puts a smile on my face. There’s some aspects of him I find either boring or unpleasant, and I think it’s kinda annoying how him retiring has been a theme/conflict since, like, season one, and fast-foward ten years and he’s basically an entity at the hospital. Like? What? Was the point? You’ve waisted my time? For nothing? But he’s a solid, reliable character you can’t really hate and who brings more good than bad to the show by far. As a side note: one day I will yell at him for his treatment of Maggie after she talked about HER OWN HISTORY and he basically called her a mistake (although he apologized pretty soon and she forgave him so so will I).

7 - Mark. He was great and all that, but never sparked that love some characters did. I was sad when he died, I loved his scenes and relationships, I just am not invested in him. Plus the immaturity in his relationship with Lexie pisses me off a bit, as does his “man whore” personality.

8 - Link. Genuinely love him, he’s been nothing but sweet and kind and fun and helpful this entire time! I cheered for Merlink sooooo much imat first, and I really wish their friendship will be developed! Him and Jo are everything I never knew I needed. He has no arguable flaws besides being so sculped it freaks me out a little bit, but he isn’t higher up in my rank because there isn’t much material for that yet, but expect a climb as he becomes more and more regular.

9 - Burke. He was kinda sweet and did a good thing for Cristina (the hospital). He was also manipulative and arrogant and voundary-crossing in their relationship. I might like him better if it was bot for Burktina, but we will never know.

10 - Owen. Toxic as fuck, annoying, controlling, disgusting. Those are all things that very much apply to Owen in a lot of situations. Screaming at Cristina for “murdering their baby”? YIKES. Big no no. He was not suited for romantic relationships at all and I wish the show would realize that and allow him that space and breathing time without being stuck in a complicated relationship with loads of baggage or a love triangle. Because that’s my whole thing about him: I believe he has room for growth. His relationship with April is pretty amazing, he was always so considerate and gentle with her, all the time, and I want to see more of that bond. He loves kids and can be really good with them, he has a lot of things to work out with the traumas of his father’s death + war + his sister’s story. Why not focus on that? Why not show him growing and processing and bettering himself and living up to the potential he has? I feel like they gave the all the wrong romantic storylines to the character who’s otherwise really good and that’s such a shame because I really enjoyed him at first. Lets see what happens from now on, and if he gets a dose of tv’s “heterosexual love and a nuclear biological family solve everything!” medicine or if this is a turning point for him.

11 - Derek. He never really had any appeal to me. Not his face, not his personality, not his storylines or plot points pr the actor. That’s reason enough for him to rank low, but I also think he had some really bad traits. He was arrogant and condescending and had a God complex and was sexist and pushy and just not great for the people around him. Exploiting Amy’s addiction being outed to steal surgeries? Refusing to give Mer credit on their clinic trial? Putting ultimatums on his girlfriend that she either has to be ready for a full, committed relationship or end things, then call her a slut when she sleeps with other guys after they broke up? Cheating on Addison after deciding to work things out? Stringing mer and addie along? Not saying he was married in the first place? Pushing Mer’s boundaries after she was clearly uncomfortable with having slept with her boss? Refusing to have an inch of empathy for Mer’s action regarding the trial despite her complicated history with the people she was trying to help (who were her friends, actually?)? Telling his depressed girlfriend that she should be concerned the happiest part of his day was flirting with another girl from the bar? Ratting out on Richard to the board because he wanted the spot? Not acknowledging Mer’s trauma after the shooting? Kissing nurse Rose while building the dream house? Kissing his student while being married in NY? Pushing his wife to move and saying his career was more important than his after he had compromised on letting her shine? All things that, isolated, can even be understood on context and “everyone makes mistakes”, but that when put together, make it pretty clear it’s a pattern of someone with very little regard to the people around him. Was he a good surgeon? Yeah. Great father as well. He also had some interesting relationships and iconic scenes, truly, I can recognize that. I hurt for the people he loved and left behind (and I genuinely think he loved them and meant well), but he himself I don’t miss at all.

12 - I think George is the clearest contrast between how old greys handled matters of sexism and gender and sexuality and how it does now. He was such a sleazy nice guy at times, it is unbearable to me. And he ranks lower than Derek because A) His relationships also bored me while Derek’s could pique my interest at times, B) There’s no talk about his mistakes. Remember when he (in his own words) took advantage of Meredith being on a terrible, delicate, vulnerable place (still hiding her mother’s Alzheimer’s and seeing a person be blown to pieces and being dumped by who she thought was the one and being rejected by her father for the second time after seeing him for the first time in tweenty years) and, knowing that she was not interested in him, pursued her, then after she started crying because of the literal pile of shit she was having to carry around (and still trying to preserve his feelings), got mad at her and everyone sided with him? It baffled younger me to bits that what Mer had “done” was so terrible, it has not stoped bafflinn me in the years that have passed since. Can you imagine any of the girls crying during sex because they’re so overwhelmed and feel like that’s a mistake, and the guy freaks out on them and they’re instantly ostracized by the narrative and characters? That’s essentially criticizing her for the right of saying no, of stopping when she doesn’t want to continue, of not giving away her time and feels just because a goofy guy who is her friend feels entitled to them. That’s the word: entitled. He literally says he “saw her first”. How’s that not Nice Guy 101? I would understand his ego being bruised, but the guilt tripping and the bitching and the fact none of that is treated as a fucking creepy thing? Yikes. Also how he treated Callie, who deserved so, so much better. And even Olivia who was perfectly lovely and did nothing wrong besides having sex with more than one guy without breaking either of their trusts because she wasn’t in a relationship with any of them. Did he do some good things? Sure did! Joey’s surgery costs being cut, helping Bailey give birth, some of his interactions with patients were really sweet, and he died giving his life for someone else. It’s just that consequence-less sexism and entitlement that never gets adressed and gets treated as not only valid, but right, that makes him go rom unappealing to downright hated for me. Better left in the past where people can misplacedly idolize him!

Thank you so much for asking, I love those thought-inspiring asks! <3

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x12 Commentary (europe edition)

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)

@waywardbaby  (Zeta)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giul)

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11

Giu: Oh donatello

Zeta : What a flashback

Nat: ugh... so sick of nick already

Giul: Whatever it takes oh yes cas is gonna do something stupid ?

Nat: "Not even an Archangel"

Giul: Dean doesn’t joke too in terms of stupid decisions.

Nat: Stop it Dean

Zeta : My heart will go on, I’m sorry

Giul: Well that’s creepy

Nat: NO

Zeta: Ohhh fuck

Giul: I’m crying

Nat: Baby NOOO NOOOO Fuck

Zeta : Test drive

Kat :  the hand porn though

Giul: That’s fucking terrifying

Zeta : True

Giu: Dean’s face will hunt me forever now. Jensen JFC .

Zeta : Fuck

Nat: Shit

Giu: Dont

Kat : I cried during this

Giu: I am crying

Giu: Hell’s flashbacks tho

I’m hating myself now.

[Dean pounding on the metal ]  : No. No!. Sam SAM!

-Up I’m having serious parallels with when he woke up in the coffin after hell.But this time he can’t get out. NICE

- Look at his hands trembling. CAN YALL NOT

[Cell’s lights goes off] the box is dark now. 

NO I HATE THIS ALREADY.

-Oh thank god. 

Zeta : Sam is naked

Kat : They both are

Giu: OH FUCK

Nat: Shit

- D:” Just a bad dream, it’s fine. I’m ok”

Zeta : Never said I wasn’t scared

Giu: fucking hell

- D: "Never said I wasn't scared.But it doesn’t matter”

Nat: Fuck you

- S:” But what you are talking about is far worse than death. Michael is an archangel, he could literally keep you buried in a coffin, alive, forever.

Giu: Told ya

Kat : Hate this

Giu: That Henley. I love how it rest on Jensen’s hips. distracting.

Kat : Single layer porn!

Nat: I'm not ok .Do I have to keep watching? Ugh

Kat : YES

Giu: the fuck is happening

Zeta : What now?

Giu: They really want to play with this water and drowning bullshit

- Also this episode is already aesthetically pleasing . and that I appreciate .

Kat: They play with so many parallels this week

Kat : It’s like a Criminal Minds episode

Giul: I’m so loving this

Nat: who is he

Giul: Fucker of the week

Kat : UGH NICK GO AWAY

Zeta: Busy bee

Nat: None of that was my fault

Giul: He’s a serial killer so go off i guess

Giul: Yeah well the devil left the rest is all you bitch

Kat : I like the cop lol

- Nick is so empty right now. He’s the most dangerous human honestly.

Giul: Goddammit mark. 

Nat: The TALK

- D:”You’re gonna see it through to the end”

Giul: Shut up

Zeta : Mom hates this

Giul: WE HATE THIS

Zeta: Yeah right

- S:” And Cas and Jack, you haven’t even told them”

- D:” Well that’s because I’m not good with the whole big goodbyes, all right? I don’t need to get shaky on this”

Giul: and HE DIDN T TOLD THEM . HOW DARE

Nat: Can I smack Dean over the head?

Nat: Am I allowed to?

Kat: ITS DEAN OF COURSE HE DIDN’T

-D:” Just put the end of this trip out of your head, okay?”

Giul: MY BABE

- C:” Where you able to talk him out of it?”

 S:”No so I’m counting on you”

Giul: LOL SAM TOLD HIM

Nat: Awwww Cas knows tho

Giul: good sam

- He asked Rowena’s help too AAAAAH

Nat: of course he would

Giul: WE KNEW

Zeta: Remarkable command of profanity

Nat: LOL Cas about Rowena

Giul: “ Maybe if I spoke with Dean"BAAAABE

- S:”If we don’t find some way...Dean’s gone”

You have to step on my dead cold body first tho

Nat: Dean washed his hands tho 

Nat: at least

Kat : He’s a clean freak

Giul: Well remember how he barely touches the public phone booths?

-tHIS EPISODE IS BEAUTIFUL

Kat: This dude is so whacked out

Giul: This is a criminal minds ep. WHEELS UP, where is Rossi when we need him?

Nat: I'm sick of this dude already

Giul: Finally some gore

Kat: BABY

- D:” Do ever think about when we were kids? I know I wasn’t the greatest brother to you”

Giul: DUDE DON’T 

Zeta: Regrets

- S:” Dean , you were the one who was always there for me. The only one. You practically raised me”

Giul: U MY DA

Kat: DUDE IMMA CRY AGAIN

Nat: Sammy, stop

Giul: FUCK

Nat: SAMMEEHHHH STOP

Nat: SHIT STOP IT GUYS

Giul: oh this is for the 300 mood

Kat:  I think so too

- D:” Things got dicey. You know with Dad, the way he was. I didn’t always look out for you the way I should’ve”

- lol Sam doesn’t want to hear this shit

- D:” I mean, I had my own stuff, you know. In order to keep peace I probably looked like I took his side quite a bit. Sometimes when I was away, you know it wasn't because I just ran out, right? Dad would , he would send me away when I really pissed him off. I think you knew that”

Nat:  I fucking cry

Kat: JOHN YOU FUCKER

- S: “ Man, I left that behind a long time ago, I had to-”

- Look you can pin point the exact moment the eyes starts to get watery...damn it Jared.

- S:” And if we are gonna get through this, I have to do , like you said and try and keep my mind off of where we’re going. So if we could not have conversations that sound like deadbeat apologies, I would really appreciate it”

Giul: YES. THANK YOU SAM.

Zeta: Yeah ok  I’m hating this

Nat: Fuck, I'm not ok. 

Nat: I like the cop

Giul: BITCH DONT

Kat : Told you Ain’t God he’s praying to

Nat: DIGNITY hahahhaha

Zeta: Yep

Nat: FUck

Giul: WELL THAT’s

Zeta: That was so predictable

Nat: Nick's a fucking lsdhfishgoiewahgpieshgäahgeisladhflidshglidsea

Kat : Can he die already? I shouldn't smash my work computers keyboard that hard, probably

Giul: Hey gotta hand it to the guy tho, he’s pretty resourceful

- Sam finding a case. I’m not even surprised.

Zeta: The Winchester boys

Nat: ONE LAST CASE FOR THE WINCHESTER BOYS fuck you

- S:” You had to go there”

Kat: Damn it

Zeta: Enochian

Zeta: FBI

Giul: YAS

Nat: I'd open up that door so fast tho

Nat: and get on my knees

Kat: Control yourself woman

Nat: You know who you're talking to, right?

( that sentence is knitted in the back of our watch biker gang jackets)

Kat : THE COATS

Giul: FBI FBI FBI FBI

Giul: dean sitting so cutely

Zeta: I’m sorry.Has anybody noticed how huge their feet are?? 

Giul: licking lips

Nat: Dean's such a smol bean next to Sam.

Kat: Dean looks so tiny.GET OUT OF MY HEAD

- This all conversation with the twin is a real guilty trip for Dean. 

- Also this confirms that Dean and Sam knows some enochian. And that’s sexy.

Talk enochian to me * trumpet sounds*

Giul: CASTIEL MY BABE

Zeta: Angel on call

Nat: Awww Cas smiles

- C:” Dean” “ [BIG FUCKING SMILE] “Is so good to hear from you”

Giul: WOW he’s so- GODDAMMIT

- [stammering] : ok...well ..good. Ah [clear throat] listen , Cass....

- C:” You are working a case? That Is So GoOd tO hEaR. So I assume that means you’re not going to go through with it. Because I have to say, Dean , this plans of yours, it was born of, of desperation , not reason”

Kat: BUSTED

Giul: WE KNOW

- C:” I-I know that I’m not supposed to know , what I know,  but”

- D:”  "Look I'm fine with my plan"

Nat: LIAAAR

-C:” NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION”

Zeta: It’s good to hear your voice

Giul: MARRIED

Zeta: I love you

- D:” Really?”  S: “ Dean, it’s your husband  Cass I had to tell him”

Giul: lol can we remember that Cas fucked up Donatello for them?

Nat: How he leans against Baby tho I caught myself staring at his crotch. oops

Zeta: Well....

Giul: Aaaaand flannel again

Giul: Shocking

Nat: SURPRISE It's funnier in Enochian I guess

- ALSO hell yeah for Dean being the smarty pants ! I live for these moments. We all know Sam is the main  brain , but seeing the writers giving us these brilliant Dean moments is life.

Giul: He cray. This is so creepy amazing. Finally some spn old style

Kat: I know, they finally have a proper almost scary ep again

Nat: Yes. I still remember how creepy sometimes Season 1 was. oh they're here to save the day

Zeta: The Winchester boys

Giul: MOOSE IS ANGRY . SQUIRREL TOO

Zeta: Bamf much?! The hiss

Nat: Dean, control your anger!

Giul: H. O. T

- Poor guy tho, it’s not his fault .

Kat: Love snarly boys!

Giul: WELL FUCK

Zeta: Baby’s ass! I’m sorry again

Giul:  We end the ninja turtle

Giul: UUUUUUGH

Kat: Ugh this bitch again

-Vintage Nick

Nat: I wanna skip Nick. Can I skip Nick?

Giul: NO Mark acting is gold

Kat I hate this whole scene

Nat: He's too good and I hate him

Giul: Wait Why is No NO , fuck no. WHAT

- The fucking ice .... 

- N: “Lucifer....?”

 Sarah : 

Kat: ITS DUMB AF

Kat: I HATE THIS SCENE

Nat: SPN makes me question so many things

Giu: FUCK MARK OK

Nat: TELL HIM. I LIKE HER

Zeta: She kinda hates him

Kat: BUT SHE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING.SHE SHOULD BE THROWING HIM AGAINST WALLS AND SHIT

Giul: Let her leave bro

Nat: NICK LISTEN TO YOUR DAMN DEAD WIFE

- N: “ I can’t”

Kat: Nope he’s gonna be a little bitch

Giul: Oh I’m sorry he’s like a Stockholm victim.

Nat: "I'm sorry." Is he really tho?

- N:”Wherever is darkest”

Kat: Melodramatic much Nick?

Nat: DR CAS

- DR NOVAK

Zeta: Oh hello

Giul: THE OTHER Mr Winchester.  

Giul: OOH OOH HOT

Nat: Dean's smirking

Giu: DOCTOR

Zeta: Giuls, u ok??

Giul: I . AM.  NOT.  EARSKYHGZLYCBTSGKBP FUCK ME

- Doctor: follow me.

 Sam scrambling the fuck away from the sexual tension

Dean eyes on Cass [starts the sexual tension]

me [bathing in sexual tension]

Nat: THE HAIR ON CAS THO

- C:” It was necessary, doesn’t mean I don’t regret it. Doesn’t mean I don’t wish there could've been another way”

- C: 

- “Please don’t compare this with your suicidal plan. Just stop it”

[ tilting head in angry ]

Zeta: Tell him Cas

- D:” Why don’t we talk about that later”

Nat: "according to your plan, there won't be a later." I love Cas

Giul: YES

Kat: THE SASS

Giul: CAS BABE

- D:” You think this is easy on me?”

-Why does it always look like Cas is on the verge of tears and they never fucking show us the real deal 

- C:” So then, this is goodbye?”

Zeta:He’s hurting

- ThE FuCK Is tHaT LoOk DeAN

Nat: "Guys.. stop bickering." Is what Sam should have said. lol

lol and Cas holding Dean’s gaze a bit before focusing on Sam. Good moment

- D:” I thought he was too far gone”

 C: “Dean if there is a spark of hope. then I have to try “

- Damn these writers are not being subtle.

-C: “ YOU taught me that”

Giul: GUYS I CAN T

Zeta: *pats your back *

Nat&Kat:"Get out."

Giul: when castiel get so riled up I get all tingly.YES ORDER ME AROUND

Zeta: @Giul control yourself woman

Giu: PSH HAVE U SEEN THIS...[gestures vaguely] HOW

- Sam not being subtle too

Nat: Sam's throwing shades

Kat: THE DIMPLES OF DISCONTENT

-I will never get tired of Cas glowly hand

Giul: ANGEL EYES YAAAASP

Kat: Okay dude would be choking on that tube

Giul: CAN I WAKE UP LIKE THAT TOO

Nat: I wanna wake up being surrounded by three hot boys

Giul: [clicks tongue]

Kat: With three handsome men? Yes please

- yeah ok you can’t fucking say that and look up  at Castiel, Dean..you motherfucker 

- C:” Would do like more grape jello?” [voice deepest than Dean’s closet]

Giul: WHAT WAS THAT VOICE CAS i felt it in my [censored] 

Kat: Donatello and his chicken

- Those two whispering like that .... fuck you

Nat: THE dimples

- Castiel’s little awkward smile 

- This episode is so beautifully shot I can’t

Kat: I need a gif of them legs @Giulia please ma’am

Giul&Zeta: NO REST FOR THE SELF DESTRUCTIVE.

- D: “We are going out on a high”

i wanna slap him....hard

- D: “ Sorry”

 S: “sOrRY “ *chuckles*

- Sam is not drinking beer, he’s drinking hot salty tea.

Nat: Sam's really at it, huh? Trying to guilt trip Dean out of it

Giul: i don’t blame him

Nat: Can't be mad at him, tho

- S:” I have to throw away everything we stand for” aaaaand the voice cracks....good....great...

Zeta: He’s soooooo angry

Kat: Sam’s hair is so fluffy

Nat: LISTEN TO SAMMY DEAN

-S.” You just don’t check out of it “ * snarls and pushed Dean*

Dean is offended of the push.

Bitch you don’t get to be offended

- S: “ if you quit us today, there won’t be a tomorrow. What are you doing now it’s wrong,it’s QUITTING”

Giul: SAM MAD DESPERATE VOICE IS GOOD

Nat: I believe in us, Dean

-Dean doesn’t respond.

- Sam:

- Sam is all of us

Zeta: Smack him

-[Enters desperate hug]

Nat: fuck, now i'm crying

Giul: sobs

Nat: fuck no shit

Giul: OH COME ON

Kat: THIS HUG

- [strained voice] S: “why don’t you believe in us too?”

Giul: It’s too early for this.

-Sam looks like a kid here , a scared sad kid and I CAN’T DEAL WITH IT 

Kat: SAM HOLDS ON SO TIGHT

- D:”Okay Sam”

 Sam sniffs

 D: “Let’s go home”

Nat: I need a cigarette and lots of wine

Giul: MOOD

Zeta: This fucking hurts so bad

Nat: Why you gotta make me cry tho

Giul: GOOD LORD. Stop the voice breaking

- D:” And I’ll keep believing until I can’t”

Kat: MY BOYS 😭😭😭😭

Nat: NO

Giul: JARED WTF

- D:” you’ll have to take it for what it is....the end”

Nat: SAM WON'T DO IT

Giul: STOP IT

-D:” and you have to promise me “ [Dean’s voice get high] “ that you’ll do then what you can’t do now. and that’s let me go”

Giul: HE FUCKING WON T

Nat: FUCK YOU ALL

Kat: JARED STOP YOUR FACE

Nat: FUCK YOU

Giul: JARED FUCK U

Kat: ALL OF YOU STOP YOUR FACES

Giul: FUCK IT FUCK ALL OF U

Nat: I'M DONE FUCK THIS SHIT

-D:” Just don’t hit me again”

- STOP THIS FUCKING MUSIC RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Zeta: i HATE ALL OF THIS

Nat: I DON'T WANNA WATCH ANYMORE, NO MORE SPN FOR ME

Zeta: I HAAAAAAATE IT!!!!!

Giul: AND WE HAVE ALL SEASON 15 too

Nat: FUCK THIS

Giul: YAAAASP GUYS

Kat : NO YOU HAVE TO WATCH NEXT WEEK

Giul: PROMO NOW

Zeta: Yeet

Kat: PREVIEW

Giul: GO WATCH THE PROMO BITCH

Kat : GO I CAN’T FREAKING WAIT

Giul: i LOVE IT 

.

Well well WHAT A FUCKING RIDE.

WE HATED IT.

.

.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage  @destiel-honeypie   @mariekoukie6661   @dragontamerm    @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon  @mattiecat    @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day  @4evamc   @dammitsammy  @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20

[katerinafeddy-blog]

Terrified [Dima Konovalov]

Requested by: @queenofthe-crxssroads

Summary: A party takes a whole different turn when Y/N and Dima get separated in the crowd and a terrible incident occurs. Angst-Fluff

Notes: I really enjoyed writing for Dima, he is one of my favorite people in David's vlogs. I hope you enjoy, love u xoxo

The infamous vlog squad reunited. The large group of friends brought by the one and only David Dobrik was back at it again, every single member attending a huge party thrown by the Trap House. You were beyond excited to say the least, since you were going to see some of your best friends again.

You grew up in Vernon Hills, hanging out with David, Natalie, Ilya, Dima, Alex and the rest of the gang. You held each one of them dearly to your heart. Especially Dima.

Dima has your heart ever since Senior Year of high school. You started falling in love with him a few weeks before prom when you were accidentally locked in a classroom by Ilya. Ever since then you had been inseparable but it took a few days for him to open up to you about his feelings.

You had been dating for five years now and you couldn't be more in love than you already were. Dima may be a pain in the bitch ass, as Ilya claims, but he is a total sweetheart to you. He is the kind of man any girl would love to have by her side. He was gentle, caring, loving and humorous.

The music was loud, painfully loud to be honest but it didn't matter because this is just how parties were. Dima was holding on to your hand real tight, in order not to lose you through the massive crowd. However you had to separate, you had to join Natalie, Carly and Erin and Dima had to join Ilya and the boys. He let go of you with a small peck on your lips as you squeezed your way through the crowd trying to reach your friends.

However you realized they were all hanging out with with their boyfriend's and well, third wheeling wasn't in your plans for tonight. You looked around for Dima and Ilya but none of them were anywhere around. At some point you spotted David in the crowd and got to him.

"David have you seen Dima around? I can't find him and I'm kinda worried to be honest" You questioned your friend, raising your voice so that he could hear you better. He shrugged his shoulders and pointed to his ear as you rolled your eyes "Dima! Where is Dima?"

"Ohhh... He must be at the kitchen somewhere. They brought more alcohol and Colby asked if Ilya and Dima could help. They must be there." He acknowledged as you gave your friend a thumbs up and moved towards the kitchen. However as you made your way there an unfamiliar arm was wrapped around your waist and without even looking, you knew for sure it wasn't Dima.

"Y/N Y/L/N!? Long time no see! 7 years already huh?" Of course it had to be your ex boyfriend. It seemed like world's worst cliché. To bump to your ex in a party.

"You sure have a peculiar way of alerting people your presence" You muttered knowing there was no way he heard that. "Could you let go of me now? I need to go find my boyfriend" It was obvious you didn't want to spend any more time with him. His presence made you uncomfortable and you needed Dima more than ever. And the fact he was intoxicated made your current situation even worse.

"I've had this strange tint of nostalgia lately and it doesn't seem to go away. Maybe you could help with it. Reenact the old days" You had to laugh. He really hadn't changed at all. Not even after 7 years. He was still the psychotic asshole you knew.

"I said let fucking go of me" But he never did. Just like the horrible old days he pulled you close to him, squeezed your ass and kissed your lips all while you tried to pull out of his grasp. Tears were streaming down your face as you desperately pulled the man away from you and slapped him in the face. Trisha, Heath, Zane and Jason took notice of what happened and rushed to your aid. Elton and Sam kicked the man out of the party as Trisha wrapped her arms around you and moved you to somewhere more secluded so you could calm down.

You were feeling horrible, sick to your stomach. What just happened was the worst you've felt the past 7 years. You wanted to throw up so bad and suddenly Dima came to your mind. You needed him. He'd know what to do.

"I need to find Dima, Trish... I need to find Dima.." You trembled and she pushed your hair away from your face.

"Its okay.. Matt King and Joe are on it right now. He's not answering his phone but don't worry, everything's gonna be alright." Soon enough Joe entered the room, gave you a reassuring smile and told you about Dima's whereabouts. You thanked everyone for helping you but before you left, Joe stopped you.

"Look Y/N... He doesn't know the whole story because we didn't get to talk to him. You might need to explain him what happened. " Joe informed and you nodded your head, exiting the house and moving to the backyard where Dima was reported to be seen at.

The sight in front of you damaged your heart even more than it already was considering the previous traumatizing incident. He was there in a corner with a girl talking and laughing in what looked like a non friendly way. Mustering the courage you took a couple of steps before you were right in front of the two.

"Could you leave us alone for a second? There are plenty of single men in that house, you could opt for one of them" You stated to the girl as a matter of fact before she left. Easy enough, you thought and crossed your arms looking directly at Dima "Care to explain whats going on?"

"Me?" He snapped glaring at you "How about we start with you explaining what the fuck was going on back there half an hour ago, yeah? Did it feel nice to kiss your ex after all this time?" Your eyes widened "Oh and by the way I was there. I saw you kiss him. So don't try and use any lame excuse for you cheating!" He shouted as tears filled your eyes.

"Dima you need to listen.."

"Am I not fucking good enough for you? Am I that bad of a boyfriend that you decided to cheat on me with your ex who did horrible stuff to you just like that? Wasn't my love enough for you?" He was screaming now making you even more afraid. You wrapped your arms around yourself and looked down at the floor as Dima kept yelling. Your head was pounding and your shoulders were shaking and the worst part was, Dima wasn't listening.

Thankfully Ilya caught up on what was going on and pushed you behind him.

"Are you fucking kidding, Dima? Can't you just listen to what the fuck she has to say instead of going rage mode? Look at her dude! She is your fucking girlfriend and she is afraid of you! Actually, not afraid, she's petrified of what happened in the party and that you won't fucking listen to her! You don't get to scream at her for something she had no control over and wasn't her fault! " Ilya barked at Dima and you stood behind him slowly moving your body so that Dima could see you better "I will leave you guys to it and if I hear anything, I will beat your ass"

"Y/N what does he mean?" Dima asked a lot more gentle now, his angry expression now changed to a soft one filled with worry.

After a long explanation as to what really happened at the party earlier, Dima was crying himself. He was crying because he had yelled at you for something that wasn't in your control. Because he wasn't there to protect you from the man that scarred your soul deeply. He felt horrible.

"Dima it doesn't matter... You didn't know" You reassured but still he couldn't bring himself to look at you. He ran a hand through his hair as he gazed up at the sky.

"It does matter Y/N... I wouldn't blame you for hating me now. This monster harassed you once again and I promised I would never let him hurt you ever. And my jealousy got the best of me. And then I flirted with this girl to get back at you because my stupid ass thought you were cheating on me.. And I scared you by screaming right at your face when none of it is your fault" Groaning he leaned back against the wall challenging himself to look into your eyes. He expected you to turn around and leave him standing there alone regreting being such an asshole to the person he loved the most in his entire life. But instead he watched as you threw yourself into his arms and embraced him tighter than you ever had in the entirety of your five year relationship. And he did the same. He wrapped his arms around you as he felt your tears soaking his shirt "I'm so sorry baby... I'm so fucking sorry I yelled at you. I'm so fucking sorry I thought you cheated on me and didn't believe you. I'm so fucking sorry I flirted with this girl earlier. I'm so fucking sorry I wasn't there to protect you babygirl." He rambled, his voice coming out shaky as he sobbed into your hair "I love you so fucking much Y/N/N... Losing you would kill me."

"I love you too Dima, more than anything. I would never cheat on you-"

"I know baby... I know.." He kissed your forehead and rocked the both of you back and forth "Do you want to go home? You've had a long day baby girl" He whispered into your ear after you had both collected yourselves. You nodded and he led you outside the property and called an Uber to come pick the pair of you. He had his arm around you the whole time, not just to protect you but also to assure himself that you were right there with him.

During the ride home you fell asleep in his arms and he kissed your forehead mumbling sweet nothings into your ear.

This night Dima vowed to himself three things. The first being to never leave you alone at parties and the second to never yell at you again. Seeing you kissing another man ripped his heart but seeing your terrified face as he yelled threw it to a blender and shredded it. And last but not least...

He vowed to always love you unconditionally.

[writesaboutbangtan17]

ok yall were talking about how the members would be about sex?? ok you cant just say that and move on spill it B

this conversation took place in the dead of the night several months ago SO she called me up and we discussed just for this ask. and btw “she” is my best friend Brittainie (@defendkimseokjin) and we’re nasty :// pls enjoy, very nsfw ahead:

cheol — like i said, this is what the fic was inspired by so i’ll keep it short. doesn’t have a lot of time so it’s always rushed, rough, messy. definitely into ass stuff, loves to do it from behind. has a creampie kink. 

jeonghan — huge on giving body worship, loves to call u “prince/princess”, but RELENTLESSLY teases. could spend hours touching u just so in just that way that you’re turned on and crying but there’s !!! no release !!! and he giggles in that evil way he does

joshua — i asked brittainie how she thought joshua would be in bed and she said “scared” and then she said he’d be that guy asking all these questions like “oh my god are you ok” “oh my god does it hurt” “oh my god am i doing it right” but then she said “except he wouldn’t take god’s name in vain he’d say ‘oh my gosh’” and that’s all i got out of her. i agree that’s what he’d be like at first u know he’d be soft and a lil vanilla but he’s got a “dark” side ok he’d be into a Lite Kink like costumes n roleplaying

junhui — goofy!!! ass!!! motherfucker!!! he’d be balls deep in u cracking jokes and making puns you’d be like “i’m cumming” and he’d just “hi cumming i’m jun” and he’d think it was genuinely hilarious. but because he’s also kinky af you’d be tied up with like a butt plug in during all this so it wouldn’t be that annoying when he says stupid shit. afterwards he’s very snuggly :( because he’s a soft teddy bear :(

soonyoung — SOLID switch. loves to dominate and destroy u but also loves to be dominated and destroyed. wants to perform both roles equally. not to be cliche but have you seen perf team do “who”? dude knows how to move those dancer’s hips aaannnd they practice like 16 hrs a day and sleep maybe 5 hrs average so dude’s got stamina out the ass, would fuck u hard and deeeeep all night long. not to be cliche again but give him a strip tease and a lap dance! he’d worship u

wonwoo — apparently we disagree on this one since i thought he’d be vanilla but brittainie immediately said “he’d be kinky.” she thinks he’d be rlly into orgasm denial of himself n subwoo works with my original thought that he’d be rlly affectionate and romantic. so like deny his orgasms but give him lots of kisses and take a candelit bath with him afterwards.

jihoon — brittainie: “for some reason i feel like he’d be rlly good at eating you out and fingering u” so? he’d be heavy into foreplay when he had the time to string u out the way he wanted to. also he’s got a dirty mouth on him and he’d looove to hear how u feel and what u like

minghao — OK SO look at minghao’s fingers aren’t they kind of scary?? i’m always sending her pics of them n saying how terrifying he’d be if he fingered u because he’d scoop ur fucking insides out…but in reality ohhh my god he’d be so good with his hands, could reach all the good spots. and he’d leave enormous palm prints on ur ass from aggressive spankings relieving pent up stress n irritation on u. also don’t quote me on this but he’d say the filthiest shit in mandarin.

mingyu — is the definition of a Gentle Giant!!! he’d just want to make u feel good!!! and the whole time he’s just so happy!!! that ur letting him fuck u!!! this is the greatest moment of his life!!! afterwards he’d just say thank u lmao also no big deal but he’s got a huge dick

seokmin — ok seokmin is…i feel like a lot of ppl would think he’s just a soft gentle bright baby but consider this: he wants to haul u onto his lap and grind u onto his wide firm thighs and while ur shaking from orgasm, trying to squirm away, begging him to stop…he’s holding u down and flexing his thigh n telling u how good ur being and telling u that u are going to come again and u do, on his thigh before he throws u down and fucks u for his own release…and afterward he smiles and he’s back to the soft gentle bright baby that u know and love :-)

seungkwan — allow me to copy/paste what i messaged brittainie on twitter on july 24th after i saw this gif lmao: the first time seungkwan would want to PROVE HE’S A REAL MAN but he’d realize all he wants is to hear pretty whimpers n moans all for him, that makes him feel man enough!!! so after that he’d be eager to please kwan who is down to try literally anything n just likes to have fun sex, he likes giggling n talking during it not trying to force some serious atmosphere. as previously discussed, he’s huge on both giving n receiving body worship, and no matter what kind of body his lover has he thinks they’re a god/goddess n it’s his mission to make sure they know that ;( also probably has an ass thing n begs to try anal. p.s. seungkwan is loud as hell in bed but every sound he makes sounds musical, also sometimes subconsciously n sometimes on purpose tries to harmonize moans w his partner /// srry i have…..a lot of feelings abt him that i’m trying to work through

hansol — ur typical teenage boy. he’s horny all the time and he loves boobs and he’s so excited to HAVE SEX!!! but no matter how bad he wants to bone u, ur still gnna be the one that has to come on to him instead of the other way around because he’s shy and awkward and he’s gnna blush so hard when u touch his dick fr the first time and when u start taking off ur clothes he’ll be gone. he’s gnna keep asking if ur sure that u rlly want to do this which will be cute at first but then annoying until u just have to get him on his back and climb on top of him and ride him all night, otherwise he’ll just sit at the end of ur bed asking if ur sure until morning. but just WATCH that boy n his aftercare skills he’ll get u a glass of water n massage ur legs and wash u up and :// sigh that’s the sweet boy u love

chan — SEND ME A MESSAGE OFF ANON IF U WANNA DISCUSS CHAN I’M NOT GETTING INTO IT…all i’m saying is that jeonghan n the hyungs have given him a fucking complex that kid is gnna be dom af he’s gotta feel in control somewhere and the bedroom is where

💕🌻✨🍑💕🌻✨🍑💕🌻✨🍑💕🌻✨🍑

[draconicroyalty]

👀 But may we get some some of those Ver/Cath Mulan AU hcs?

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 

ALRIGHT, HEADCANON TIME.

Mundus has invaded territory with his demon army

Sparda, the general and king, is all “w tf have you just done u lil bitch???”

Eva stays in the palace to make sure everything is going ok

A man of age from every family has to fight by his side to protect the kingdom

Daniyal is hurt ever since the last war and can’t fight properly but his son isn’t of age yet so he must go

Catheryn is just “no u fuckin don’t???”

She knows he will die in battle and that CAN NOT happen??? He has a teenager son and a baby girl to raise?? Her parents must stay alive, wtf

So, once they fall asleep, she steals her father’s armor and her mom’s sword and just gets on top of a horse and is like “bye fuckers”

Her ancestors are just like “this bitch”

They send this fire fox spirit to bring her back

Maawiya, however, is just “hum no she has potential imma help her out”

Sparda assigns Vergil as Captain and tells him to train potential new soldiers

Dante is jelly, but oh well, okay i guess?? asshole

Catheryn and Dante end up having…a little brawl before Vergil comes out and finds them almost clawing each other’s face off

Dante just “he started”

Catheryn has to hold herself to don’t kick him in the stomach

“What’s your name??” “Uuuuuh” “My brother asked you a question” “your brother? oh yes i noticed the similarity. you both look like someone spit in your fucking food”

She ends up saying her name is Hideo because ‘splendid man’ sounds good and she is out of ideas

Vergil is Tired ™ and dismisses them but promises Hideo/Cathy he will keep an eye on ‘him’

Next day comes and Cathy runs to the training camp with this huge ass sword and everyone is all “um buddy just how much does that weight??” “i dunno man, like, 3 full grown men?” “WHAT”

Dante rolls his eyes once his brother starts talking like a captain and telling them to behave

“Ohhh, tough guy” “Brother, thank you for volunteering” “COME ON”

Everyone tries to climb the damn tree trunk, everyone falls (Cathy goes a lil further than everyone but falls on her butt)

“It’s gonna be a looong day…”

LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS INTENSIFIES

During hand to hand combat training Cathy kicks Vergil’s ass

“wow ok stay still my beating heart”

As training progresses, Dante and Catheryn actually tolerate each other

One night Catheryn hears Sparda’s counselor, Agares, who’s a major asshole sometimes, telling Vergil the tropes aren’t ready

Maawiyaand Cathy just “no u fucking dont we worked HARD for this”

“i hold him, you punch him” “not necessary, but i appreciate it”

Genuine smile from the Captain?? wow??? WOW?

“You liiiike him” “shut up maawiya” “you doooo” “ok fine he’s cute, judge me” “uh uh tO YOUR TENT young lady”

Sneaky fox writes a message for Agares saying Sparda needs them as backup because fuck Agares and his notes

Marching sucks, it really does

The whole ally army is found defeated together with a village

Dante and Vergil are absolutely livid and trying to swallow down the pain as they set their father’s helmet near a cliff together with his sword

Basically Mundus’ army soon appears before them

“oh shit we’re fucked”

Catheryn, the super extra soldier: welp guess im gonna blow up a mountain lol

“also imma save the hot ass captain while this all goes to shit”

“oh fuck i got hurt”

“aaaand now they know im a woman. great.”

Vergil refuses to kill her because “wtf she may be a woman but she was the best soldier i’ve ever seen??? no, she’s still coming with us. stop yelling Agares u bitch”

Mundus basically tries to kidnap Eva and take over the palace after popping out of the snow like a daisy together with a few allies

Catheryn watches as the strong alpha males try to take the thickass, hugeass doors down with a statue….smfh

“there’s…pilars here we can climb”

“oh”

Eva is basically doing the equivalent of double middle fingers at Mundus for killing her mf husband

Badass brother duo ft. tall lady burst open the fucking doors behind Eva and Mundus

“why hello king of assholes”

Catheryn basically pulls Vergil back after Dante gets Eva tf outta there because “oh no this asshole is mine”

they…basically blow up the fuckin palace’s wall and part of the ceiling, smh

Eva: u fucking destroyed everything

Eva: but u also killed that fucker and saved us all so u cool

Catheryn just “neat can i go home now”

Dante basically hugs her good bye and whispers something about Vergil

Meanwhile the captain is just “uuuuh you fight good. see ya.”

Dante and Eva, probably: u fight good??? that woman just fucking saved us. go marry her.

Back at Cathy’s home, probs:

Lukah: she brought a sword, could’ve brought a gf…bf…smth

Vergil: um is this the meyumi residence??

Lukah: well fuck me

[softedwin]

hitting on you - chapter 3

haha guESS who’s back and finally updated. I’m sorry it took so long. you can find a more detailed explanation on ao3 why this took me so long. I hope you enjoy! a huge thank you to @julieseven and @towonderland72 for betaing, and to @shakespeare-and-sunshine, @skamskada and my girl @isakje for being the greatest cheerleaders in the world <3

[ao3]

When Isak woke up the next morning, he had probably the biggest headache of his entire life. He could barely move or, more so, didn’t want to. He reached for his phone but immediately regretted it when the screen was too bright in his dark room. After his eyes adjusted to the light, he saw that he had a message from Even and, of course, the boys. He checked Even’s text first.

(09:28) Even: good morning. hope your hangover isn’t too bad. looking forward to today

Isak looked down at his phone comically. There was one thing he was certain of now: Even was out of his mind. After everything that had happened, he still wanted to meet up with him? Isak knew that he was good at charming people - Magnus had told him several times - but he didn't know he was  that good. It took skill to make a guy stay after you punched him in the face and he watched you get kissed by someone else

(12:03) Isak: I’m dying

(12:11) Even: that sounds a little dramatic, doesn’t it

(12:12) Isak: it’s the truth tho. don’t think I can make it today

(12:12) Even: are you for real?

(12:13) Isak: no, but I still feel like dying

(12:13) Even: haha go take a shower and when you’re ready, I’ll come get you. Maybe coffee will help

(12:14) Isak: coffee won’t help with a hangover tho

(12:14) Even: but maybe seeing me will

(12:16) Isak: that was so cheesy, it’s not even the alcohol anymore that makes me want to throw up

(12:16) Even: hey!

(12:17) Isak: it probably won’t make the hangover better but it will definitely make my day better

(12:17) Even: who’s the cheesy one now

(12:19) Isak: shut up, I’m going to take a shower now.

(12:19) Even: have fun

(12:20) Isak: thank you very much, I will

(12:20) Even: ohhh I bet you will

(12:22) Isak: oh my god you are insufferable. I hope you know that

(12:22) Even: oh yeah I do, believe me

(12:23) Isak: good

(12:25) Even: go take your shower now

Isak replied by sending a thumb up emoji, then checked the group chat. He wasn’t even surprised to read messages like “Are you okay?”, “What happened last night?”, “We only saw you leave with Even. Everything okay?”, “Please text us as soon as you read this” but neither did he have the energy to explain everything nor did he want to think about what happened last night. Sure, the part where he talked to Even in the park was nice but the part where he blew Emma off wasn’t something he wanted to remember. Isak typed a short “I’m fine, don’t worry” and locked his phone again, throwing it next to him on his bed. Afterwards, he got up slowly, his head hurting with the movement more than he thought was possible. “I will never drink again, Jesus Christ,” he mumbled to himself as he was walking towards the bathroom languidly.

It had happened too often to him. Opening Snapchat because he wanted to send a picture of something that reminded him of his friends to them but it was the front camera facing him. Every time, he got frightened by himself and was terrified if he actually was that ugly. And this was how Isak felt when he entered the bathroom and saw himself in the mirror for the first time that day. “Fuck, I look like trash,” he said, squinting at his own reflection. He had bags under his eyes and he looked even more exhausted than he actually felt. Having a shower was probably the best thing he could do right now.

Isak got out of his clothes and turned on the tap. Since the water took forever to get warm, he had to wait for a few minutes, quite literally freezing his ass off (the temperature in the bathroom itself wasn’t that high either), before he could get in. As soon as the hot water hit his skin, he sighed contently. The shower was doing wonders for him and he felt immediately more alive. He lost track of time, and eventually his skin started getting wrinkly, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to get out just yet, but he knew he couldn’t stay in there forever. After rinsing out the rest of his shampoo, he grabbed a towel and put it around his waist. His entire body was dripping, making the floor wet, which caused him to almost slip. But luckily, he got a hold of the sink and cursed to himself. This day was already starting out great.

Before he left the bathroom, Isak checked if anyone was around to see him. He didn’t want a rerun of what had happened a few weeks ago when he was done showering. Isak had left the bathroom in a hurry but tripped over his own feet and conveniently lost the towel from around his waist. He had been quick enough to snatch it before it fell on the floor but the damage had already been done and he could hear a “Nice ass!” and laughter from behind him. When Isak turned around, the towel in its rightful place again, he saw Eskild down the hallway who wiggled his eyebrows at him suggestively. The pure horror on his face was replaced by annoyance and he let out an irritated groan. “Fuck off, Eskild,” was his only reply while he made his way towards his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Weeks of teasing and bragging about how good Isak’s butt looked had followed, and he had tried to avoid his friend as much as possible. Sure, he liked his roommate and they got along pretty well but he was also a fucking pain in the ass sometimes (no pun intended). Eventually, he told himself that Eskild was just jealous and he got over it. Didn’t mean he wanted to repeat the whole thing, though. So after realizing that no one seemed to be within reach, he bolted out of the bathroom, trying to get to his bedroom as fast as possible. Looking down at his own body, he thankfully found that the towel was still where it belonged.

Isak flopped down on his bed and reached for his phone, checking yet again for any new messages. The guys were, of course, spamming in the group chat, demanding to know what had happened last night, but Even hadn’t texted him again. Which made sense, considering the other boy was awaiting a message from him.

(12:59) Isak: I’m finally done. I’ll text you again when I’m dressed and ready

(13:03) Even: holy shit how long does it take you to shower You did have fun in there, didn’t you

(13:05) Isak: oh my god even, stop it

(13:05) Even: YOU DID!!!

(13:06) Isak: no, I didn’t

(13:06) Even: sure you didn’t, buddy

(13:07) Isak: I’m blocking u

(13:08) Even: anyway You ever heard of save the environment?

(13:09) Isak: yes, why?

(13:10) Even: you’re doing the opposite and unlike you I care deeply about my planet

(13:10) Isak: I’m hungover!! I needed that shower okay

(13:11) Even: are you really trying to make excuses for hurting mother earth In the long run you showering for so long will have consequences that are much worse than your minor, temporary hangover

(13:13) Isak: did you just say minor Because this shit isn’t minor And I honestly cannot tell if you’re for real right now or just fucking with me

(13:14) Even: well I am definitely not fucking you right now, considering that we’re not even in the same room

When Isak read the text, his face turned a bright red. How could Even just write stuff like that? It wasn’t that it made him uncomfortable or anything, if anything he actually kind of welcomed it. He just didn’t really know how to reply and maybe he was also a bit embarrassed. Isak probably wouldn’t be able to face Even later if he responded to this sex thing now.

(13:20) Isak: 1) you are insufferable but you already know that and 2) I am getting dressed now

Before he locked his phone again, he opened Spotify and pressed shuffle. Some song he had forgotten he had even saved started playing, but he didn’t mind. Instead he moved his hips along to the beat. He liked dancing and goofing around to songs as long as it was in the safety of his own bedroom. Isak reached into his closet, grabbing the clothes he picked out for the day. While putting them on, he danced through his room, feeling hyped. He wasn’t as tired and exhausted as he was when he woke up, so the shower had actually helped.  

After he had put on the last piece of clothing, he stopped in front of the mirror and looked at himself. The dark circles around his eyes were still there and probably wouldn’t disappear in the next few hours. Apart from that, Isak believed he actually didn’t look too bad.

He prayed that he wouldn't fuck this up today. You didn't get many chances with other people, especially not someone as amazing, kind, and charming as Even, and Isak felt like he had already pushed his luck too much.

Smiling at himself confidently, he turned away from the mirror and texted Even that he was ready.  On my way was the reply he got back.

When he left his room, a smile was playing around the corners of his mouth. He was so excited to see Even again and there was even a little bounce in his step. As he walked by the living room, he saw Eskild sitting on the couch. He must have noticed Isak as he looked up at him. The fact that Isak was practically beaming seemed to make him suspicious as he raised an eyebrow at him. Isak stopped in his tracks and waited for his friend to explain himself, a confused look on his face.

“Why are you so happy? What’s going on?” Eskild eventually asked after giving him another once-over.

“What do you mean? Am I not allowed to be happy?”

His friend contemplated this for a moment, tapping his index finger against his chin. “Of course you are.” He paused for a second, then continued, “it’s just… weird. You are usually grumpy. I’m just wondering what got you so happy.”

He wanted to tell Eskild about Even so badly, do some ‘gay bonding’ like he would say. But Isak didn’t even know where this thing between him and Even was going, let alone what it was. It had only started blossoming recently and he still wasn’t 100% sure if the other boy liked him that way. So he would rather keep it to himself until he got that figured out.

“Just having a good day. It’s nothing,” he lied and shrugged. Before Eskild could say anything else, Isak got the hell out of there, snatching his jacket from the coat rack on his way out.

While waiting for Even to arrive, Isak leaned against the wall of his apartment complex and played some games on his phone. He didn’t know how long it would actually take for Even to get here but because enough time had passed since he sent his last text, he figured it wouldn’t be much longer.

As Isak was focused on his phone, he was startled by the cheerful ‘Hello’ directed at him. He looked up, eyes meeting Even’s, and a huge smile spread over his face.

“Hi,” he replied just as happily while stowing away his phone.

Before Even continued to speak, he seemed to be thoughtful for a second, his brows furrowing in confusion, eyes narrowing. “For how long have you been out here?”

“Not too long,” Isak answered casually and shrugged.

“Aren't you cold?”

Indeed he was. Isak had been so focused on his phone that he hadn’t really noticed until Even brought it up. “Maybe a little bit, now that you mention it.”

Even flashed him a big affectionate smile that was enough for him not to notice the cold again. “Well, then let’s go and get you warmed up.”

They walked side by side, close to each other, their arms almost touching but not quite yet. Isak had his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket and focused on the street ahead of him, only occasionally sneaking a glance at Even. He usually caught him looking and gave Isak a smile, who looked away bashfully, blushing and smiling to himself. It was mostly quiet between them, both enjoying the other’s company silently. It didn’t take them long until they reached the café that Even had been heading for. The café was rather small and not too busy, with a harmonious and peaceful atmosphere. Isak already liked it.

After he paid for his coffee, he chose a rather secluded area in the back of the café and sat down on a comfy chair, waiting for Even to join him. When he did, Isak couldn’t hide his surprise at Even’s choice of beverage.

“Hot chocolate?” he wondered, “you’re drinking hot chocolate?”

“Uh, yes?” Even replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which it was. “Why are you so surprised?”

Isak shrugged, looking down at his own coffee. “I don’t know, I didn’t take you for a cocoa drinker. I was expecting something more… special?”

This earned him a big toothy grin and Even nodded knowingly. “You thought I was the kind of person who goes to Starbucks and orders a Latte Macchiato with not one but five pumps of hazelnut and vanilla syrup, two espresso shots and whipped cream but not  that much because I need to watch my waistline. Right?”

For a short moment Isak looked at him perplexed by the detailed description and then shook his head in disbelief, laughing softly. “Yeah, exactly,” he admitted, “but you know, hearing all of that coming out of your mouth actually confirms that you  are this kind of person.”

“Nope, this is enough. There’s nothing a hot chocolate can’t fix.” As Even said it, he raised the mug to his mouth and took a sip. When he put it back on the table, Isak noticed the milk froth on Even’s upper lip. He gestured towards it, pointed it out but when Even tried to wipe it away, he didn’t quite get the spot. “Is it gone?”

Again, Isak shook his head and Even tried a second time but failed yet again. He grinned amused at the other boy as he asked one more time if it was gone. “No. Wait, let me…” Isak muttered as he leaned across the table, brushing away the remaining milk froth. His thumb maybe lingered a moment too long on Even’s lip but he just couldn’t help himself. His lips were so  soft . Isak could only imagine what kissing them would feel like when he took his seat again.

Isak fixated his eyes on those kissable lips but soon enough Even interrupted him as he thanked him quietly. Isak realised he was staring and immediately averted his gaze shyly, as he whispered, “no problem.” While he hoped that his creepy behavior hadn't been noticeable, he busied himself with opening the cookie that came along with his coffee. Afterwards he dipped it into his drink and took a bite.

They were quiet for a bit until Even spoke up again.

“You look good for someone who complained about dying earlier.”

Isak lightly blushed but chose to ignore the compliment. “Well, I  was . But the shower helped.”

A wide grin played around Even’s lips. “Ahhh, the shower! Glad it helped.” Even winked at him, confusing Isak the slightest bit until he realised exactly why he had done it. And how could he have forgotten that part of their conversation?

Isak groaned loudly and shook his head, burying it in his hands. “Jesus, sometimes I cannot believe you.”

Even just laughed while wiggling his eyebrows at him. “No need to be ashamed,” he teased.

Although Isak was indeed embarrassed, his cheeks sporting a deep red, he smiled back. “We are not having this discussion again,” he replied determinedly.

The other boy nodded in understanding, his features going soft as he gently asked, “what do you wanna talk about instead?”

Isak thought for a moment, then pointed to Even’s nose tentatively. “How’s your nose?”

“Good, I guess. It doesn’t hurt anymore.” he answered nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders. “But I told you before, the guy that punched me was a softie.”

“And I told you before that I am  not a softie!” Isak exclaimed but couldn’t help laughing.

“Sure, you’re not. Keep telling yourself that.”

Isak just shook his head in disbelief as he watched Even taking another sip of his hot chocolate. It still felt unreal that he was actually here, talking to Even, making stupid jokes and laughing about them, just enjoying each other's company. Before the incident, Isak had never talked to the other boy. He had only admired him from afar and decided against talking to him because he always thought that Even might find that weird, Isak just coming up to him and starting a conversation out of nowhere. So instead, he had chosen to whine about it to his friends who probably had been very tired of the ‘Even Bech Næsheim’ topic by now but had still listened nevertheless.

Isak had also daydreamed of him, imagining their conversations and what Even was actually like. And it shouldn't have come as a surprise but this whole scenario playing out right now? It was exactly how he imagined it, with Even being funny and teasing but also attentive and incredibly charming.

Silence surrounded them again, and while it had been okay the first few minutes, Isak was getting uncomfortable. The question that had been lingering on his mind, haunting him ever since that fateful day, threatened to burst out of him but whenever he opened his mouth, no words came out. He was obviously struggling, his mouth opening and falling shut immediately after. It took him by surprise when Even suddenly took his hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb in a calming manner as if to say: It's okay, take your time. Isak smiled at him gratefully and while it did help to some extent, he still fidgeted with the table cloth. He took a deep breath and finally the words were tumbling out of his mouth.

“Uhm… I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he started slowly, quietly, unsure of himself.

Even nodded and smiled at him encouragingly as he sat up straighter, waiting for him to continue. It was only subtle but Isak’s fidgeting seemed to make the other boy nervous as well. Isak tried to stop himself.

“Why did you even come over that day?” As he said those words, he managed to hold Even’s intense gaze, surprising himself considering he couldn’t even get his mouth to work not even two minutes ago.

Even’s mouth formed an O, realisation dawning on his face. A smile graced his lips as he was scratching the back of his neck, a small blush creeping on his cheeks. Isak would never get tired of seeing him like this - all flustered and suddenly shy - nor the fact that he was responsible for it.

“Uhh, well,” Even tried, letting out a nervous laugh, “I was, well, I came over because I wanted to talk to you?” It was more of a question, as if he was unsure of how Isak would react to that confession.

Isak was definitely surprised, to say the least. “You did?” he asked incredulously, leaning forward on the table, eyebrows raised highly in disbelief.

“Yeah. Well, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to get coffee or hang out sometime and I had everything planned out in my head because I was nervous as hell. But then you punched me in the face.”

If he was honest, Isak didn’t know what to focus on: the fact that Even had wanted to ask him out or the fact that he had been just as much of a trainwreck as Isak, trying to muster the courage to talk to the other boy.

“You had everything planned out, huh? What was your plan then?” Isak wanted to know, a big smirk plastered across his face.

Even groaned, burying his head in his hands. He shook his head shortly before looking up at Isak again. “You really want me to tell you?” A nod. “Jesus. So, like I said, I was really nervous and I had been wanting to talk to you for weeks but I kept putting it off because I thought you might think I’m weird or maybe you might not be interested. Which is ridiculous when I think about it now but any-”

“Wait, what? What makes you think I was interested?” Isak interrupted him promptly. His brow furrowed in confusion and he tilted his head slightly, curious to hear Even’s explanation.

“You stare a lot and you’re not very subtle. At first I thought it was the “fucking hell, that dude is weird” kind of staring but it wasn’t. Not at all.” By the end of it, a deep blush had already been formed on Isak’s cheek and he could feel his face quite literally burning. Isak had been convinced that he wasn’t too obvious with his staring, never allowed himself to let his gaze linger for more than 10 seconds. How had he even noticed that? It didn’t take him long to realise that Even had probably been staring too if he had picked up on that. But instead of addressing it, teasing Even about it, he tucked that knowledge away in the back of his mind. It was something he could smile about and cherish later.

“Well, anyway, my plan was to come up to you, looking extremely cool and handsome, flash you a big smile before I ask you if you wanted to hang out. You, of course, would be so surprised that you could only stare at me dumbfounded and I would have to repeat myself. You would be blushing by then but say yes or at least that's what I'm hoping and I would act cool like it wasn't affecting me at all and tell you I would text you and then I would walk away while you would gaze after me and as soon as I round the corner, you would freak out with your friends,” Even took a deep breath as he finished, a big toothy grin on his face.

His grin only widened when Isak looked at him stunned. Letting out a puff of air, he replied, “Wow. You really thought this through, huh?” He wouldn't ever admit that if it had happened like in Even’s little story, he would have exactly reacted like the other boy described it: speechless that his crush was talking to him, turning into a blushing mess and saying yes a tad too eagerly. And honestly, who wouldn't freak out when a guy like Even wanted to hang out?

The fact that Isak didn't deny any of this seemed to be enough to confirm Even’s assumptions. His eyes glinted knowingly and although it was subtle, Even appeared to be pleased with himself.

“Yeah, I did,” he admitted and nodded in agreement, “and the part where I walk up like this really cool guy worked. But when I opened my mouth, you ruined everything!” He tried to sound serious but couldn't stop the laughter from bursting out of him.

Isak immediately joined him, shaking his head. “I didn't even do it on purpose!” he exclaimed, trying to defend himself. “Wouldn't want to hurt a pretty face like yours.”

“Awww, you think I'm pretty?” Even asked him teasingly, placing a hand over his heart as if he was seriously touched by Isak’s words.

Suddenly, his half empty mug was more interesting than Even’s face as he muttered, “shut up.” He could feel his face heat up again in embarrassment and avoided looking at Even the best he could. Which was hard because have you seen this man? Gorgeous as hell. Isak would never get tired of looking at him.

“But no matter how it went down, we still ended up here,” Even eventually muttered softly, his eyes shining so beautifully in a way that took Isak's breath away for a second.

“Yeah, we did,” Isak agreed quietly and bravely locked his gaze with Even’s now, not giving in under the scrutiny of his look. Instead, he kept his eyes on him as if he feared Even would disappear if he only as much blinked.

“That was all I wanted.”

Isak nodded and smiled as he drank his coffee. When he had woken up this morning, he would have never thought his day would turn out this way. Sure, he was aware that he was going to meet up with Even, but he didn't expect things to go like this. While he was comfortable around Even, he was still awkward at times and blushed too easily at whatever Even said; yeah, he anticipated this to go much worse. But what he got instead was Even’s confession, which he definitely didn't expect. The other boy had thought about their conversation when they first talked in depth as well and it left Isak speechless. He didn't know what to make of or do with this information and he wondered if Even’s imagination stopped after the first meeting. But all that mattered right now anyway was that Even seemed to want this just as much as Isak which made him feel all warm and giddy on the inside.

It didn't happen often that Isak’s crush wasn't one-sided. So far it hadn't happened at all. Isak remembered all the fruitless crushes he had: Jonas, a few other guys from school, that one guy he had made out with at a party but had then panicked and was now hiding behind a girlfriend Isak knew he didn't love and never would. Isak thought Even would be one of them. Just another boy that wouldn't reciprocate his feelings and that Isak would get over rather quickly. It was always only a matter of time. He was delighted that this situation seemed to be different for once.

Eventually, Isak emptied his mug and wiped his mouth. He watched as Even put down his cup shortly after him. “Do you wanna get anything else? Another cup of coffee? Maybe food?” Even asked.

“Food sounds good. I saw earlier that they sell waffles,” Isak replied thoughtfully. Before he could say anything else, Even was already out of his chair and said, “Waffles it is then. Be right back.”

He turned on his heel, starting his walk to the counter to order, when Isak called after him. Even stopped in his tracks and turned back around, facing Isak. “Uh, can you also get me a hot chocolate?” he inquired shyly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Even’s smile was wide when he answered. “Of course.”

Isak watched Even’s back as he made his way to the front of the café and ordered two hot chocolates, Isak’s waffle and a muffin for himself. When he came back to their table, he put down one of the cups in front of Isak and the other one on his side, sitting down again afterwards.

“It’ll be a while until you get your food, though. They said all their waffles are freshly baked,” Even told him before he took a bite from his muffin.

“Okay, cool. Thanks.” He nodded shortly, then asked, “how much is it? The hot chocolate and the waffles, I mean?”

Even was still chewing the bits of his muffin, so it took him a while to answer. He tried to eat faster but it only caused him to choke on it which then turned into a coughing fit. He hit his own chest in an attempt to stop it but only when he also drank some of his cacao did he calm down a bit. Isak looked at him worried and reached out his hand tentatively to touch Even’s but backtracked in the last second. “Are you okay?” Isak wanted to know with concern laced deeply in his voice.

Instead of answering immediately, Even let out another cough but nodded. “Yep, I’m good. I’m good.”

Isak raised his eyebrows in suspicion. “You sure?”

The other boy made a ‘mhmm’ sound as he took another sip of his hot chocolate. He shook his head and wiped away the tears that had formed in the corner of his eyes due to all the coughing. “Okay, I’m all good now, really,” he said more to himself than Isak. The muffin was pushed aside as Even chose to eat that one later, and instead looked back up at Isak. “Don’t worry about paying though. This one is on me,” he declared with a bright smile on his face. And while it was hard not to just give in when Even smiled at him like that, he couldn’t accept the offer.

“No, you really don’t have to do this. I can pay for myself,” Isak protested.

“Because you’re a strong independent woman who doesn’t need her date to pay for her?” Even asked, eyebrows raised, and a grin playing around his lips.

Isak thought for a moment, then looked him dead in the eye as he said seriously, “Yes, exactly.” He sat up straighter subconsciously but his posture faltered soon enough though and his laugh could be heard as clear as a bell. It didn’t take long for Even to join him, and yet again Isak considered his laugh the most beautiful sound on earth.

Even’s laugh soon became soft and Isak could recognize something in his eyes that looked a lot like… fondness. “You can pay next time,” he promised.

The possibility of having a repeat session of this made Isak smile even more and he tried to hide his pink cheeks by looking down at his hot chocolate and taking a sip. Before he could reply anything though, a girl came up to their table to place a plate down in front of Isak. He thanked her smilingly and began eating. The waffle was delicious and Isak couldn’t stop the groan slipping out of his mouth. He noticed Even staring at him comically, and with his mouth still stuffed with food, he asked him, “What?”

Even tried to hide his grin as he said, “nothing. It’s just, you look and sound like you’re having an out of this world experience. You sure you don’t want me to leave you alone with those waffles?”

“I mean, they are out of this world. But if you wanna see someone who really has a holy experience every time he eats waffles, you should join us for lunch on Monday. Mahdi is like, obsessed with them,” Isak replied, grinning at the thought of Mahdi and his love for waffles.

“Mahdi?”

“Oh yeah, he’s one of my best friends,” he explains,  “he eats them every day in the cafeteria for lunch. I don’t know how he’s not tired of it yet. The lady there always has them ready before Mahdi even orders them, so he can dive into paradise straightaway.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Even demanded as he was leaning forward on the table, his eyes insanely wide.

Isak just shook his head while he laughed. “No, I’m not. I am 100% serious about this. You don’t joke around when it comes to Mahdi and his waffles.”

“Jeez, I guess I’ll have to join you guys on Monday then to see this for myself,” he responded, a grin spreading across his face.

“Yeah, that would be great,” Isak said as he continued to eat his food. He switched between stuffing his mouth with waffles and drinking his cacao. It wasn’t long until he was finally finished and wiped his mouth with a napkin. He looked at Even who had picked up his muffin again, eating away at it.

They fell in silence again with Even munching on his muffin while Isak watched him subtly. He could sit like this forever, just staring at this beautiful boy sitting across from him. But he knew that wasn’t possible and that they needed to get home pretty soon where they would part ways. A horrible thought, if you asked Isak. But looking at his phone, he realised that they had been sitting here for hours and that it was getting late. Talking to Even seemed to make him lose track of time entirely.

When Even was done eating his muffin, Isak nodded his head in the general direction of the front of the café. “Do you wanna get anything else or are you ready to go home?”

Even smiled at him warmly as he answered, “let’s go home.”

When they left the café, it was starting to get dark outside, the sun painting the sky in a bright, beautiful orange. And while this was a beautiful view, Isak would rather look at Even who was even more stunning.

They made their way home quietly. Isak longed to reach out his hand, hold Even’s in his but like earlier he restrained himself and instead let his arms dangle at his sides. Too soon did they reach Isak’s shared flat and Isak knew this would be the end of a wonderful day spent. As soon as he would say his goodbyes to Even and go inside, the spell would be broken and he would return to the real world. God, there were so many things he still wanted to tell him and Isak’s head was spinning with thoughts and a million other questions that threatened to burst right out of him. He didn't even know where to start or if he should at all.

When they came to a halt in front of the kollektiv, the two of them just stared at each other until Even broke into a smile. Isak looked at him confused, asking him a silent ‘What?’.

“I was right. Today was even better than last night,” Even explained. “And you didn't kiss anyone.”

Not yet, Isak’s brain supplied helpfully but Isak tried not to ponder over it too much. “Yeah,” he breathed, a small smile dancing around his lips. “I’m just glad Emma finally knows how I feel about her even though I wasn’t really nice about it. I mean I feel bad but also kind of relieved, you know?”

“Hmm, yeah.” Even agreed with a nod of his head. He thought for a moment, tilting his head slightly. “But it wouldn’t have been fair to either of you to keep this going, so you did the right thing. Although you really could have been nicer about it.”

Isak smiled helplessly at the grin he was met with. “I know, but I don’t think I would have gotten my point across otherwise. I hope she isn’t too mad.”

The thing was: Isak really didn’t want to upset Emma and he definitely hadn’t planned on telling her like that. He wanted to explain this to her calmly, not when he was drunk off his ass. But when she had kissed him, he had just lost it - which didn’t justify his behavior - but he couldn’t exactly say he regretted anything. Isak was glad the words were finally out there and so he didn’t have to keep up this lie anymore that was slowly eating away at him. He couldn’t do it any longer.

“Ahh, I’m sure she won’t stay mad for too long. Not at someone with a pretty face like yours.” Even’s smirk was marvelous as he said it so casually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Isak’s brows were raised in a mix of surprise and confusion while heat rose to his cheeks for the millionth time this day. The other boy ignored it and shrugged. “Just use your charm on her. It’ll work.”

“Like it worked on you?” Isak had his arms crossed on his chest and a challenging glint in his eyes. His lips spread into a smirk as he waggled his eyebrows at him. Isak didn’t know where the sudden burst of confidence came from. But he didn’t mind at all because soon Even’s look of astonishment turned into breathless chuckles and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and heard.

Even looked down for a second, shaking his head, and then looked back up again. His gaze pierced into Isak’s eyes with such an intensity he had to avert them. “Yeah, exactly,” Even finally said, grinning like a cheshire cat.

After that they stayed silent, only sharing secret smiles with each other, while Isak buried his hands in the pockets of his jacket. Isak had to process this information. His crush had basically told him that he liked him too, that he could charm anyone if he wanted to and even managed to do that to Even. Even Bech Næsheim liked him and this knowledge still felt somewhat surreal to him. He didn’t really know what to do with it.

During that whole conversation Isak hadn’t noticed that they had been getting closer, only standing a few meters apart now. Suddenly, he had a deja vu to last night where they were in this exact same position, Even only meters away from him but coming closer and closer and Isak standing there frozen, not knowing what to do. He tried not to let the panic rise in him again. He  wanted this, so why was he so damn nervous about it?

This time Even searched his face, silently asking ‘Is this okay?’, and Isak only nodded because of course it was! God, Isak desperately wanted to kiss him, feel Even’s lips pressed against his own. He tried to swallow his nervousness when they were only centimeters apart now, his heart pounding so loud in his chest he was sure Even could hear it. This time he wouldn’t hug Even and he would definitely not run away again. No, this time would be completely different.

When their noses brushed, they shared the same breath, inhaling and exhaling each other. Isak never wanted this moment to stop, never wanted the bubble they were currently in to burst. But the universe seemingly wasn’t on Isak Valtersen’s side lately. As their lips were almost touching at this point, Isak’s phone suddenly ringed. With that, the spell was broken, the two of them jumping apart, as Isak fished his phone out of his pocket.

Magnus.

One of these days he was actually going to kill him.

Isak cursed under his breath as he answered the call, not being able to keep the annoyance from his voice, “what is it, Magnus?”

Magnus didn’t seem to notice that Isak was annoyed and started babbling away happily, “We heard someone from school is throwing a party and we wanted to know if you’re in? We’re currently pregaming at my place. Please, please, come, it will be so much fun!” His friend sounded way too excited, like more than usual, as if he had already had his fair share of drinks. “And you still haven’t told us what happened last night and have been ignoring us all day. We are deeply concerned about you, Isak Valtersen. So you are obligated to come and explain this to us.” Magnus tried to sound serious and genuine, he really did, but soon afterwards Isak heard him chuckle on the other side of the phone. He didn’t want to know how much Magnus had already drunk so far.

Isak thought about it. He didn’t feel like partying but he guessed he owed the guys an explanation. So he let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head as he gave in, “okay, I’ll come.” Magnus squealed in his ear loudly, making Isak hold the phone away from himself and clench his teeth at the screeching sound. He shouted at Jonas and Mahdi that Isak was going to join them, which was followed by deafening hollering.

Eventually, Isak said his goodbyes to Magnus and then looked at Even apologetically. “I’m sorry about that.”

Even shook his head and cracked a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “No, no, it’s fine.” Isak knew it wasn’t. Hell, he didn’t think it was fine and he was going to kill Magnus later for ruining this perfect moment. Why couldn’t he have called a minute later? But Magnus had never had a good timing, Isak knew that.

“Looks like I’ll be going to another party tonight,” he said, shuffling around awkwardly. Isak didn’t want this to end just yet. He would say anything to keep this conversation going for a little while longer.

Even arched his eyebrow, smirking at Isak. “Do I need to worry about you going around kissing girls while I’m not there?” he joked, trying to sound nonchalant, but the slight concern in his voice slipped through anyway. His heart actually clenched at that tone.

“No, you don’t,” he reassured him, looking at him fondly. Why he would ever want to kiss anyone but Even now was beyond him.

It was only subtle but Isak could see the corners of Even’s lips lift a bit immediately. “I won’t drink anyway. Probably. Maybe.” Isak pretended to think about that for a moment and then started cackling. “Okay, I won’t drink too much. I won’t survive another hangover like this morning.”

“Mhm, I’ve heard showers help,” Even replied teasingly, licking his lips. Isak tracked the motion with his eyes, blatantly staring at him, before he shook his head to collect his thoughts again.

“Oh my God, Even, I can't believe you brought that up again!” Isak exclaimed who struggled to be serious about this. “Will you ever stop?” Isak had a feeling he wouldn't. Something that he had noticed within only a few days of talking to Even is that he loved teasing others, specifically Isak. So the shower gag would be brought up over and over again until it got old, Isak knew that much.

“Not in the near future, no,” Even confirmed his assumptions but Isak wasn't even mad. It was a joke and if it really made him uncomfortable, he knew Even would stop if he asked him to. The other boy wouldn't intentionally hurt him. So instead, he sighed dramatically like it was the worst thing to ever happen to him.

“Anyway, I don't want to hold you up any longer. Go to your party and have fun. I’ll see you on Monday,” Even said, giving Isak one of his fondest smiles. He started walking backwards, waiting for Isak to say his goodbyes. He was quite amazed by Even who didn’t run into something along his way because Isak had been staring a lot at him until he managed to open his mouth.

“Yeah, see you on Monday,” he replied softly and watched as Even waved at him before turning around and strolling off into the night. Isak looked after him, only darting his eyes away when Even disappeared around the corner. He already missed the tall, sweet boy.

Isak wandered off into the opposite direction and seeked to look forward to meeting his friends, telling himself it was going to be fun. When he got on the tram, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and got it out. First, Isak thought it was going to be one of the boys, asking him where he was and when he would arrive at Magnus’ but he got it completely wrong. It was a text from Even. (18:53) Even: had a lot of fun today, it was great. can't wait till Monday Isak smiled to himself, warmth filling his body from head to toe all over again. He still couldn't wrap his head around what was happening but it was obviously a good thing, so he wouldn't complain. His smile grew bigger as he typed out a reply. (18:55) Isak: me too. I liked talking to you. seeing you actually did help with my hangover. even bech næsheim, the greatest hangover cure

(18:56) Even: aww haha stop it, you're making me blush glad I could help you tho

(18:58) Isak: what? me making you blush? incredible

(19:00) Even: ikr haha

(19:10) Isak: also thank you for walking me home.

(19:14) Even: of course. Yeah, today had definitely been one of Isak’s favorite days.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Catch and release”

You always want him and it’s not that he doesn’t like it, but sometimes he’s very tired and you don’t give him a break. Since when is The Joker allowed to have breaks?! Unheard of!

***He steps out of the shower, wraps the towel around him and cautiously sneaks out of the bathroom, heading towards the bedroom, trying to be quiet so you won’t hear him.

“Heeeeey, handsome,” J hears you behind him and he rolls his eyes when your hands go around his chest and he feels your lips on his back.  “Where are you going?”

“I have a meeting soon, I’m already late, Doll,” he tries to get out of your embrace but you squeeze him harder.

“I doubt it, you’re never late,” you seductively reply, moving your hands down his waist and he sighs, resigned.  “Come on, your girl needs you,” you slap his butt, yanking the towel away.

J takes a deep breath and tries to get out of it: “We already had sex twice this morning, Pumpkin ,I’m tired.”

“Pfftttt,” you scoff, unimpressed, turning him towards you and caressing his soft skin. “Since when is the Joker saying no to this?!”

“Since I’m tired,” he complains, but still kisses you.

“That’s the spirit! Come on, let’s go,” you yank at his hand and drag him towards the bedroom.

“God, I feel like a piece of meat,” he whimpers, knowing there’s no escape.

“Did you Google stuff again?!”

“I did.”

“I told you to stop it, Google is not good for you, makes you talk crazy,” you shake your head, annoyed. “Just lay there, OK? I’ll take care of the rest.”

You push him on the bed and he feels offended: “I’m The Joker, I don’t just…lay there.”

“You can if you’re tired, I won’t tell anyone,” you wink. “But don’t make a habit out of it; I like it when you’re wild.”

Hmmm, he thinks, might as well. He really enjoys it and you get what you wanted, being super happy for the rest of the day. 

***You had to go to a meeting too and the whole time you just glare at him, biting your lips and J knows what it means. You didn’t hear a word on what it was said.

Dammit, this woman is killing me!  J messes around with all the maps and papers, pretending not to notice that devious smirk on your face. He likes to complain a lot lately, but in the same time he loves it that you are so infatuated with him. He wants you and he doesn’t. The hell with it: he does, but on his own terms and since for some reason he finds himself unable to say no to you, he creates such a fuss. The Joker is a complicated person.

“Jaaaaay,” you try to get his attention. “Baby !!! Hey!”

He has no choice but to look up.

“On the way home, let’s stop somewhere on a dark alley, hmm?” you whisper, leaning over so he can see your lacy bra under your shirt.

He snickers, grinning at the idea.

“Ohhh, we can do that.” He decided not to be a jerk this time. Well, it was a lot of fun in the backseat of the purple Lamborghini and as soon as you get home after the drive:

“Heeeeey, handsome,” you unbutton his already not very buttoned shirt. “Why do you look so sexy all the time, hmm? Are you doing it on purpose?”

Are you kidding me right now?! He really thought he was done for the night, he’s too exhausted from everything he had to do, plus tending to your …needs. But duty calls, so, you know…you gotta do what you gotta do.

*** The Joker starts wearing baggy clothes around the penthouse, hoping that you will not care to see him like that. YEAH,NO! He wishes he was that lucky.

“Baby, what are you wearing?!” you ask, completely baffled when you see him with those huge sweatpants and a sweater that looks three times his size.

“Clothes,” he sits at his desk, avoiding looking at you.

“Where are your other clothes?”  Hmm, suspicious.

“The cleaner’s,” he shortly answers, getting on the laptop and trying not to pay attention to you.

“All of them?! You have, like, a million things.”

“Yeap, all of them,” he mutters, parting his green hair to the side without realizing it. You take it as a signal.

“Ahhhh, I seeeee,” you giggle, getting up from the couch, march to the desk and with a swift move all the papers, including the laptop and his gun, fly over to the floor, some even reaching the kitchen counter.

“Jesus, Y/N, WTF?!” he frowns, getting mad but doesn’t have time to have a temper tantrum because you land in his lap, pulling on his bottom lip with your finger.

“Sssstttt, don’t talk, I know you’re trying to get my attention.”

“HUH?!”

“You know, you’re so attractive you could wear a garbage bag and you would look hot as hell. I love your new attire. Are we playing roles? I can go change and we can pretend to be two trashy people getting it on,” you keep on yapping, already ripping off him everything you can. “Aren’t you happy you have a girlfriend that pays attention to you?” He doesn’t answer so you continue.” I know you’re always in the mood, stop pretending you’re not, it irritates me.” It irritates you?! “Yum, you’re soooo delicious! I know you’re doing on purpose, don’t deny it.” You kiss him all over, excited.

J wasn’t really aiming for that reaction at all.

“You know, Princess, my next choice to wear would have been a garbage bag and now I can’t do it because you would like it anyway,” he kind of tries to joke and be serious in the same time.

Your lips stop on his Jester tattoo; what he just said rubs you the wrong way.

“Why shouldn’t I like it?” you lift your head, looking him in the eyes.

“Well, I am an idea and ideas don’t…” “You’re a what ??!!” you interrupt, wiggling in his lap.

“I am an idea and…”

“Hold on, did you Goggle stuff again??!!” you inquire because you have a feeling about it.

“I did,” he admits, taking a deep breath.

“I told you not to, it makes you talk crazy.” “I can’t help it, I love Google,” he lifts his shoulders up, amused.

“More than me?” you grumble, yanking his neck towards you.

“Nooo, nope, no way, Baby Doll, I love nothing more than you.”

“Jeez, that sounds so fake, put some passion into it,“ but you don’t let him answer because you crush your lips against his so he will stop talking nonsense. Stupid Google!

*** You finally commonly agreed J will get ONE free pass each week when he is very tired and can’t have fun with you. But that’s it, you can’t agree to more since you already feel you’re getting gypped.***

***You’re preparing for your mission tomorrow and J is just returning from his.

“Heeeeey, handsome,” you roar when you see him.

“Free pass, Princess! Batsy almost got me, the jerk chased me for an hour, I’m beat!”

“Awwww,” you sharply inhale, disappointed. “My poor baby, com’ere.” You kiss him and hug him tight. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah, but he is such a pain in the ass. I’m gonna take a shower and crash.”

“So…you are really using your free pass? Just making sure,” you play with his gold chains, hoping to hear some good news.

“U-hum, I have to.”

“ ‘Kaaay, then I’ll go to Frost,” you giggle and he doesn’t think anything of it until 5 minutes into the shower when it hits him. “I’ll go to Frost.” Wait a second, for what?!  The Joker doesn’t even know when he got dressed and runs downstairs to find you laughing with Jonny, clinging to his arm as he continues his funny joke.

“Y/N! Get your ass here!” J yells. “Why?” you turn towards him and of course he won’t put up with insubordination so he grabs your arm and forcefully pushes you in the elevator.

“God dammit, you better be naked by the time we get to the penthouse! The Joker’s woman doesn’t need to go to someone else to get what she wants!”

“Wha’…? Oh, wait, you though I would really go to Frost FOR THAT?! No way, baby, I like you too much, my sexy green haired stud,” you chuckle, but start undressing anyway. Wow, the ideas he gets. Even without Google.

“Don’t care, my pride is as stake!” he snarls, ignoring half of what you said. The Joker rips your t-shirt, which is your favorite one, by the way.

“Are you sure you don’t want to use your free pass?”

“Fuck, I’m sure, even if this is the last thing I do!!” Oh, yeah, that’s right, his pride is as stake. Well, works for you.

Sucker!

*** He had other plans for tonight because you don’t always go together in the same missions. You blew up a few buildings, which was boring because they were empty, but Gotham is too quiet lately and you had to do something.

You went to bed and fell asleep waiting for J.

“Hi, Pumpkin,” he wakes you up, collapsing in your arms, pleased with himself. “Ohhh, boobies,” J smirks, placing his head on them. You smile with one eye opened and kiss his temple:

“How did it go, baby?”

“Waste of time, they only had 5 million in the seif.”

“No, way, really?”

“Yeap, so annoying. I was so fed up with it I kidnapped a senator. I would have tried to get Commissar Gordon again for that huge ransom, but somebody keeps on letting him go…yes?” he shoves you with his shoulder, grinding his silver teeth.

You just caress his hair and whisper:

“I can’t help it, he’s so cute with that moustache and all.”

SLAP! on your thigh.

“Auch! Stop it, that hurt!” J feels sorry for what he did, but only for a moment. “So baby, who did you kidnap?” you whine, rubbing the sore spot.

“Senator Michaels.”

Your heart is beating faster and he hears it since his head is resting on your cleavage.

“OMG, I have a thing for him! I need to go see him, is he in the basement?” you tease J, aware he won’t like it.

SLAP! and this time harder, followed by the lowest, freakiest growl you ever heard.

“Shut up, Princess!”

You pull his hair hard to get some revenge. He winces in pain:

“You, Baby Doll, don’t get to do that!” he gets on top of you, pinning your hands above your head. You bite his wrist and he immediately puts more pressure in his grip. “What did I just tell you, hmmm? Daddy will have to punish you!” “Free pass!!!” you blur out and he freezes.

“You…y-you don’t get one, Pumpkin,” he stutters, shocked you actually don’t want him for once.

“Free pass!!!” you insist, arching your back, enjoying seeing him antagonized.

“No, no way!”

“Why not? Only ideas get free passes?” you burst out laughing, throwing what he said the other day in his face.

“Ooohhh, you bad girl, making fun of Daddy, hmm? No free pass! I’m gonna punish you the worst way possible,” he lets you go for a few seconds so he can take his shirt off.

“All right, yeah, do it!” you playfully kick him with your knee. “I deserve it!” you lick your lips, excited your strategy worked. You did well: J really planned to use his free pass for the week tonight, but you made him forget all about it. Somehow, this always works in your favor. You are sooo good.

And you didn’t even have to use Google.

Also read- MASTERLIST:

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

//siblings bein’ siblings :’)

-

boy theyre really piling on the dick with roger. and yet, it somehow feels kinda forced. not quite as goofy-forced as ‘matt swirl my brandy and show off my scratched eye engarde’ but still... 

he’s so obnoxious that i wanna hold up a hand like “chill, chill, youre the villain, you dont have to try so hard. yeesh.”

-

In spite of everything, it's still (Tr)u(cy)

-

Did Godot also ghost write the gramarye creed?? We didn't need this man 

-

I love that she's "magical girl Trucy"

-

That is a HUGE ASS SWORD. Trucy must be ripped to balance that shit with one hand 

-

(Cries) the judge bravo’d her my heart

And Apollo asks her to be careful I fhfhfhggg 

-

JUDGE! Don't call her a butt!! - Bonny: a fan of mine took some footage of the me in the show. It's kind of creepy but it might help.

Me: ok well it can't be any creepier than the normal show footage which focuses on her quite a bit anyway---

(Footage is shot from backstage)

Me: BODYGUARD. DEMAND A BODYGUARD IN UOUR NEXT CONTRACT.DO NOT PERFORM WITHOUT ONE.

-

"What a waste of time"

I know, sadmad, it is a waste of time hinting And blabbing on when the contradiction is SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS

-

To this games credit, I actually looked thru the footage to check for the edit and it's actually there. You can see the screen skip ever so slightly. I mean it's a little improbable that Trucy was still in the same position after twirling but that's a neat little detail. Not bad, SOJ, not bad at all.

- (Snerk) sexy pan up shot for mr retinz

- I know everyone loves the 'what's crackalackin homie" line but it stinks of pandering to me

It's like mr grossberg saying his hemerhoids were doing the Harlem shake. But I don't even think they were referencing the meme back then.

Also something about the way they write Nahyuta feels like the equivalent of a foreign character saying "it is-- 'ow you say..."

-

Burger barn sounds like the shittiest restaurant on earth. I wonder if it was the Ramen Ranch in the Japanese version...

-

"It's pretty long so I'll just show you the part with.." OHHH NO. We learned our lesson in dual destinies. We watch ALL the footage, damn it.

-

That must be Trucy! ... Six seconds after she runs in the opposite direction, also shown rising up into the rafters. ‘kay. Sounds legit. Prosecutor sadmad, please call me a moron and threaten more insignificant reincarnations...

-

"It threatens to disrupt the karmic course of this case" You mean it's so bullshit that you're obviously going to lose, right? It's ok, you can just come right out and say it. Nobody will mock you.

-

huh. retinz just called sadmad ‘pretty boy’

gee whiz guess theyre gay for each other now. c’mon fandom work your magic.

-

I'm starting to really not know what the victim’s last rights actually are. could you be a lil more clear on that sadmad

-

“My OBJECTION.... is NOT FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!!!”

but it sure is for mine [snicker]

also gr8 excuse there, roger

-

“every industry has its own way of doing things, just as we in the legal profession focus exclusively on evidence and testimony’

really? for some reason i thought you were more interested in The Magic Pool and The Screams of the Condemned.

-

i can see theyre trying to write sadmad funny but its just not.... funny???

even with roger’s obnoxious persona i find him funnier. his texting sprite is hilarious. he just looks so fuckin pleased with himself.

-

Lang Zi says... Nahyuta needs a different schtick.

-

( well this numbskull has a thick skin, so there )

-holds back tears-

-

phoenix, drunkenly, from the gallery: DEAD PERSON... PUNISHING SOMEONE THROUGH A SURVIVING FAMILY MEMBER..? APOLLO GEDDOWN THE FUCKIN GHOS’S ARE COMING AAAHHH

-

“not bad for a shitty soap opera twist”

yeesh, that was a very sudden bout of self-loathing from the writers.

-

poor manov. somehow i feel more sad about his death than the entirety of the victims in DD (apart from Clay that is)

i mean he was just some magician tryna make it big.

-

(sigh) they tried to do the ‘are you high’ joke again and yet they still dont understand what made it funny in the first place.

-

“Strange are the karmic threads before me...”

is that Koorahneese for ‘shit, I'm losing!!’

-

NOW I FEEL EVEN WORSE FOR MANOV

-

i love when villains do that thing where it’s obviously fucking them and a jury would haul their ass to jail in 2 seconds but since it’s the bench trial system theyre like :3c I'm not admitting to anything! I just revealed something incriminating and suspicious as fuck but since my name isn’t carved into it you cant punish me~~~

im not being sarcastic either, at this point its just funny 

-

apollo: AHH, HOW DID YOU READ MY MIND?!

roger must have assistant’s blood in him; all of them can do it 

-

ohhhh. ohhh. i think. i see how he did it. if so, shit bro; that’s fucked up. but actually a pretty good sneaky murder method, with some pretty good foreshadowing that really stuck in my mind. 

Not bad, SOJ. Not bad at all.

-

‘do you think the audience will let you get away with the twins schtick twice in a row?’

alright writers, your self deprecation is making me a little uncomfortable now.

-

i like picturing manov’s soul sitting on he judge’s head.

“could you hurry it up? I'm tired of listening to butterfly over there banging on about last rights. i just wanna see retinz get his ass kicked.”

-

wait did i completely miss something 

what the fuck is with the random tuna boat joke

did i miss a reference to it before

is it a joke on turnabout: tuna-boat ??

-

hang on. is this a half-case? 

they did this in dual destinies with the two last ones. i guess they can’t fit five full cases into a game after all... for some reason.

-

i was right! well done. thats a well written twist. anyway, most importantly:

IM STILL CRYING OVER MANOV. HE DIDNT DESERVE THIS

-

as much as i appear to like ragging on these games, i really hope the rest of the cases are as good. 

-

sadmad: you f––

writers: [shake heads vigorously and make cut-throat motions]

sadmad: ..! ..uhh... [opens up a thesaurus] dim-witted... ignorant... imbecilic?

writers: [nod and sigh in relief]

sadmad: putrid red pepper. 

-

“just some good old fashioned logic”

oh look at that they just admitted the ‘rethinking the case” mechanic is just an off brand logic rip-off.

-

wow that was the most over-the-top prosecutor breakdown I've ever seen. how did that even work? physically, i mean

maybe the soul butterfly is getting its revenge

-

NOO!!! NOT VALANT!!!

also holy shit that was one helluva hallucination. I'd like to think Magnifi was responsible from beyond the grave for one last feat in dickery. 

-

Trucy’s absolutely right and murder is 99% never justified, but Magnifi is heavily implied to be a bag of dicks. 

-

“Wow trucy, i never knew that being the best could be so tough good for your dating life’

-

“do you think I'm a naive greenhorn?” “No, she's not...”

don't use the ‘smile in spite of everything’ thing, don't use the ‘smile in spite of everything’ thing, don't use the ‘smile in spite of everything’ thing––

Ff fffffuuuuck

god dAMNIT

what is japans obsession with smiling thru shitty times??? its, like, ok to cry when you feel down, you know? its admirable to be strong in times of distress but your worth isn't based solely on how well you can pretend not to feel like shit

why not present that quick-ass thinking she did to get around Bonny’s mistake? THAT is the mark of someone who’s ready to be on stage. somebody who’s ready for any eventuality; that’s the mark of a clever performer. she kept a cool head and let the show go on; thats impressive!!!

get this shoe-horned in shit outta my face.

-

alright alright... theyre trying to have an emotional moment between siblings. ill calm down... for now.

-

Apollo: You’ve really changed Edge––– eh h I mean, Nahyuta.

Nahyuta: fuck you. 

-

trucy: you don't like to talk about your past, do you? because you always change the subject!

apollo: its not so much that i don't like to talk about it as that it’s constantly being rewritte––– 

[shotgun cocking sound from capcom]

apollo: I-ITS PARTY TIME, ITS PARTY TIME, EVERYBODY’S GETTIN DOWN BECAUSE ITS PARTY TIME

-

phoenix: you're a full fledged lawyer, apollo

apollo: aww gee thanks

phoenix: do you know the definition of full-fledged, in the bird world

apollo: uh

phoenix: it means they fly the coop. leave the nest. go to a completely different country, shall we say

apollo: ah

phoenix: just putting that out there apropos of nothing.

-

PHOENIX TALK TO YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER. CHRIST. shit. sigh.

-

apollo is now fucking dead, and living up to the title “Spirit of Justice”

[thatweirdmod]

Windowless Moviemaker Chapter 1: Routine

Author: I’m u/thatweirdmod from the explicitliterature subreddit.

STORY:

Windowless Moviemaker Chapter 1: Routine

TWO WEEKS AGO:

I hover behind a nude woman, her head and hands imprisoned inside a pillory. She groans as I stuff a vibrator into her vagina.

"Kidney, are you getting this?" I ask, my voice altered by the voice changing mask over my head.

"Sure thing," he responds with a low chuckle.

He’s standing next to me, naked and fully erect, and holding a video camera. He films me forcing my dick inside the woman’s asshole.

She screams. Must be feeling the skin tearing.

"Oh wow, that's so tight," I moan. I keep going, thrusting in and out as deep and fast as I can manage.

The sensations of the constricting, hot little hole on my dick, combined with the vibrations from the toy on the other side of the flesh wall are arousing beyond belief! I hear her sniffling and crying.

"Quick! Get her face." I tell Kidney, while continuing to anally rape the woman.

"Please, please stop," she begs. In response, I give her cheeks a hard smack and double my efforts of destroying her ass with my cock. "It hurts," she mewls, bursting out in tears.

"Ohhh, that's good. I'm gonna come soon," I grunt. "Shoot her from behind now," I say to Kidney. "Look, her pussy's soaking wet  from the vibrator, and her asshole is all bloody now." Kidney and I both chuckle in satisfaction.

"Damn, that so hot," he says, and zooms in on her privates while they're getting fucked. "I can't help myself," he says, overcome with lust.

Kidney sets the camera up on the tripod, walks to the front of the woman, and grabs a fistful of her hair. "Suck me," he orders, pushing his erection past her lips. "Suck it as far down your throat as it'll go."

She takes him into her mouth, doing her best to service him as her asshole and vagina are ravaged from behind.

"Yeah, there you go," Kidney groans. "Keep your mouth opened wide like that so you don't use your teeth."

He pushes her head further onto his stiff penis. She chokes a bit, but keeps on at the deeper level. "Now that's how a real woman gives head," he says, a smirk in his tone. "This is way better than a school girl."

I rip the vibrator out of the woman's cunt, flinging her juices in the process, then shove my dick inside. "Damn, what a horny bitch," I slap her ass, nice and hard. She cries out, causing her to choke on the dick in her mouth. "I'll cream you nice and good, don’t you worry."

Kidney lets out a high pitched grunt, as he jizzes all over the woman's face. I up my pace, jackhammering in and out of her vagina. On the final thrust, I push my penis in up to my balls release my seed deep inside her.

After Kidney and I have satisfied ourselves, we take the woman out of the pillory, shove her down to the ground, then high five each other.

“Alright!” Kidney says. “We got some great footage tonight.”

"Remember," I tell the woman, smirking under my mask. "We recorded everything on video. Unless you want your friends, family, boyfriend, coworkers, and everyone in between to see it, you'll keep quiet about today."

She nods, sitting limply on the ground with fear quivering in her puffy eyes.

"Just think," I continue for good measure, "Of how humiliating it would be if everyone saw this. You, bent in a pillory, completely exposed with your ass in the air. Pussy drooling all over a vibrator, tits hanging down like cow udders, as you're fucked and molested by two random guys.

That's all anyone would be able to see or think about when they saw you. They'd never forget.

Goodbye friend. Goodbye daughter. Goodbye diligent worker. Goodbye whatever you were before. You'd just be the one that got raped- the victim everyone has to tiptoe around.

I bet you can feel it already, the atmosphere turning heavy, the laughter dying, as soon as you enter the room." The woman stares down blankly as I go on. "Sure, everyone would feel bad for you, but no one would want you.

When you'd be with your man, you'd know what he'd be thinking- that his woman was tainted, covered and smothered by other men. You can feel it, can't you? His fingers holding back, never to truly to embrace you again."

I watch her eyes fill with water. "You're no better than a whore now." I tell her, savoring every word.

The tears stream silently down her face and splatter on the concrete floor of the underground bunker.

"But," Kidney adds in, "No one has to know how dirty and damaged you are. After we let you out, you'll be free. You can return to your life as normal, to the joy and acceptance of your friends and family. So..."

He pauses and tosses a water bottle and a bottle of pills over to her.

"Go ahead and take 2 of those. They'll ensure that you won't have to worry about any pregnancy, and the side effects aren't too bad."

She shakily reaches for them, sniffling.

"Just go about your business as usual," Kidney says to the woman as she swallows the pills. "That way, everything will be alright."

PRESENT:

"'Everything will be alright' huh?" I wonder to myself, as I lean back in my seat and sigh.

Kidney is sitting at desk next to mine. He brushes his sandy brown bangs back from his eyes, as he pretends to focuses intently on the school work before him.

I attempt to begin re-playing another night in my mind, but the teacher's rambling is getting on my nerves. I know it's his job, but I can't concentrate like this. It's so fucking hot too, I think, as I flap my white button up shirt to puff air over myself.

"Jeeto!" The teacher snaps. Finally got enough of my obvious inattention, eh?

"Perhaps you can give us the answer?" He says.

Damn, this is so cliche. I have no idea what he was talking about, besides the basic fact that it must have to do with geometry. There's a triangle on the chalkboard. The annoying, salt 'n pepper haired man in front of me crosses his arms, waiting.

"I... *huge yawn interrupts my sentence* I have no idea, man... sir."

Mr. Simon clicks his tongue, putting his hands on his hips like a sassy bitch.

"Well perhaps you can get an idea in detention, young man."

The students around the classroom chuckle and giggle.

I groan and rake a hand through my mid-length, brown hair. What a waste of my lifespan.

After school finally lets out, a familiar scenario plays out again. It's of me walking slowly, taking in nature under the orange hue of evening, with potato chips and diet soda on my mind. The convenience store close to my house is one of my favorite places in this little secluded town.

Outside, I see Kidney. He's leaning against the brick building eating an ice cream thing from the store. I go over to him.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey yourself," Kidney replies, with the corners of his mouth tugged upwards. "Have you seen the cutie who just moved here yet?"

"Which one?" I ask. "The way I heard it from those gossipy old nags, the new single dad's a pretty fine piece."

"Maybe so. That just explains where she got it from," Kidney says, grinning fiendishly at the thought of the girl as he licks his ice cream.

"You gonna scare 'em off already? They're probably not even done unpacking," I say.

"Hmm, I think I'm gonna do this the nice way," Kidney answers, a plan gleaming in his eye.

He tosses his ice cream stick on the ground, even though there's a bin a few steps away. "You win 2 tickets to Rocket Roller theme park if you're lucky enough to pick the right Creamtastical Pop," he says.

I laugh. "Don't tell me that's actually got you buying 'em everyday."

"Whatever, man."

"You're just part of the 999,999 that beefs up their sales while they give a sliver of that beef to the 1 in 1,000,000 that wins their shitty prize. A literal sucker, 'cause it's ice cream on a stick."

"But," Kidney says as we walk into the store, "I can't help loving consumerist culture. Indulgence is in the air. Besides, Creamtastical Pops really are the bomb."

"Welcome!" The old woman at the counter says. "If it's not our most frequent customers."

I smile back at her and say, "Hey, Roodle."

Yeah, that's her name- Roodle. She's the manager of this permanently under-staffed store. She's here 6 days every week, in a green polo shirt with her gray hair pulled back into a pony tail, running the register and almost every damn thing in between.

Somehow, I imagine myself in her shoes when I'm that age, and I don't have any problem with it.

Even though it's just a convenience store job, I'd say she busts her ass, so I never sneak too much into the pockets of my dress pants when she dashes into the backroom or down an aisle. You could say I've got boundaries with Roodle.

Kidney's over at the freezers, and I see him slip a Creamtastical Pop into his pocket. But he grabs a 2nd one and holds it openly to purchase.

While I peruse the chips selection, he walks behind the counter. He opens the glass door of the cigarette cabinet, takes a carton like it's totally natural, and walks back out, just before Roodle reappears.

I glance between them, a little nervous. I don't want it to get awkward when I come here because my friend got caught stealing, you know? Roodle didn't notice shit, though.

Fucking hell. If I succeed her, I'm gonna install cameras for sure. Corporate would hear a case and a half from me if they protested.

I'm thinking we've mulled around long enough, so I force myself to decide on two bags of chips and go up to pay.

Kidney and I walk together down the sidewalk, as the nostalgic orange glow around us hints at cooling into night. I glance to my left, taking small satisfaction in how the trajectory of my gaze to Kidney's face is at a slight downward angle.

He's double fisting his ice cream bars, biting one then the other. He hums a happy laugh. "The vanilla one is the one I paid for, the angel. And the chocolate one is the devil one, the one I stole."

I watch him devour the two masses of sugar and fat. The Creamtastical Bar is a dessert more multi-faceted than most people. It's an ice cream sandwich coated in fudge, then smothered in whipped cream, then coated in a chocolate, vanilla, or fruit flavored shell, sometimes with a chopped nut finish.

If just one kind wasn't enough to satisfy their loyal customers, the company has made dozens of variations and limited editions. You'd gain a 100 kilos just by trying each of them.

"By the way, when did you start smoking?" I ask Kidney.

"Huh? Never had," he replies. "I just thought I'd try some cigarettes today. I've been pretty stressed out lately. Maybe a nice drag and a hit of nicotine will hit the spot."

"Nicotine's lame," I say. "If you're gonna smoke something, at least go for weed. I hear it comes with less cancer too."

"Well, cigs come with less cops."

"Not necessarily if you steal them."

"Oh please, Jeeto," Kidney says, smiling. "Good ol' Roodle wouldn't call the cops, even if she did catch me. She's a total push-over. A decent apology is all I'd need."

We walk up the incline that goes past the playground. I observe at the worn down swings and other sad looking equipment. Kidney and I used to hang out here a lot as kids.

The place isn't as fun now that the slide is too short to have a real slide down, and the fall from the monkey bars is too low to fear. Though, we still come back to the swings sometimes.

The swings...

I notice a girl sitting on one alone. "Hey, that's her," Kidney whispers, looking past me.

Speak of the devil, we were just going up to her house so I could get my first look around.

"Who's 'her' anyway?" I ask. "You never told me her name."

"Oh yeah. It's Rilla."

I examine her from where I stand, but a ray of sunlight is blocking some important parts of her from view. Thinking, what the hell, I walk off the sidewalk and start across the grass over to her.

Her head is low, auburn bangs hanging over her forehead. She's in thought, maybe, before she notices me and looks up. My heart doesn't skip a beat or anything, but I'm not unhappy.

"Hi," I say cordially.

She stands, giving me a better look at her legs. She's a little short, but they're nicely proportioned. She's in a skirt that stops teasingly just above her knees.

I'm careful to smile with warmth and not pleasure. "My name's Jeeto. I heard you moved into the neighborhood a few days ago."

"That's right," she says, like the kind of person who has to work past their shyness a little for every word. "I'm Rilla... Rilla Arocci."

"Welcome to Grishee Town, Rilla. It's really nice to meet you."

She returns my smile reservedly. "You too, Jeeto."

"I'm from the Fuma household, which I believe is a straight shot down the street from you," I say. "If you ever need anything, I'll be happy help, alright?"

Rilla nods and says, "Thank you."

"Well, I've gotta go now. See you around."

She says goodbye and we wave to each other as I walk off the playground. Instead of continuing up the slope to her house, I turn back to head home. Just as I start to wonder where Kidney went, I see him hiding behind a tree, with two unmarked ice cream sticks at his feet.

"Playing the voyeur on her's one thing," I say to him. "But I was back there too."

"Very funny," he grumbles. "I told you, not so much as a half hour ago, that I was gonna get Rilla. Where do you get off jumping the gun on me?"

I shrug. "I only introduced myself. You could've come and said hi too."

"Dumbass. One guy is bad enough. Two guys approaching a lone girl is only sure to scare her. Women are pretty fragile, and wary like rabbits, you know. It's a pain, but it's true."

"Rabbits are like that because they know there are foxes in the world. Women know that there are men like us."

"So now it's our fault?" Kidney challenges. "We're not out to kill them like foxes, unless they take it to that level themselves. If they'd just give it up, neither party would have these problems."

“But we don’t really want them to just give it up, do we?” I counter.

“Well, half my point still stands,” Kidney insists.

I just shrug again. "Wanna play some Mortal Kombat at my place?"

"Sure, even if we do already know how it's gonna turn out," Kidney says, now smirking. "Kidney wins! Flawless victory. Fatalityyyyy!"

"If you were a Mortal Kombat character," I begin, "What'd your finisher be anyway?"

"I dunno. It'd have to be something where I tore out their kidneys with my bare hands."

By the time darkness has fallen outside my bedroom window, I've thoroughly gotten my ass beat via console.

My knuckles redden as I squeeze my controller in rage- the diet form of hurling the piece of shit at the wall. Kidney can't stop laughing, which is what's really pissing me off.

"Fuck it," I say. "I'm gonna go get something to eat." I leave my bedroom, slamming the door behind myself.

Soon, I'm listening dully to the sounds of the humming microwave, crickets chirping loudly outside, and grease popping on my buffet takeout. I go back upstairs with my food, and find Kidney scrutinizing my shelf.

"You really oughta hide those DVDs we made better," he whispers to me. "You can't just leave them here with all your normal stuff."

"Why not?" I say lackadaisically. "Unmarked, empty looking discs aren't particularly interesting when they're next to a bunch of movies, TV shows, and porn."

Kidney just frowns. "The whole, 'hidden in plain sight' thing is bound to backfire eventually. You live with your mom and kid sister for fuck's sake, and they don't exactly respect your privacy.

Say one of them gets bored, and decides to kill time by having a look through your stuff. After getting through everything else, they might wanna check if there's anything on those unmarked DVDs.

Hell, what if one of them was even looking for an empty DVD to rip stuff onto. They see those, think there's probably nothing on 'em, and that you won't mind if they take one. It'd all be over then."

"Alright, alright," I groan. "I'll put 'em somewhere else. But where?"

"Inside your mattress would be good. You make a hole in it, put the DVDs in the hole, and sew it back as it was. I bet not even cops would find them there."

"The hell?" I question. "Am I supposed to dig them out and put them back like that every time I wanna watch them?"

"No. You burn them onto your computer, and store the videos in an encrypted, hidden folder.

The DVDs are only supposed to be backup storage, in case you have to delete the stuff off the computer, or its hard drive gets corrupted. Things like that."

"All of this sounds like a huge pain," I say as I stuff my face.

"Come on, it's easy," Kidney assures me.

"If it's so easy, then you can do it yourself," I tell him, and plop down onto my twin sized bed. "My computer's password is 'jeetocheeto69365'."

"Isn't that your username on Runescape? You really are careless," Kidney sighs, and logs on.

By the time I finish my dinner, Kidney is still ripping the DVDs onto the computer. I decide to kill time by getting some preparations together.

"We're going to need more animal tranquilizer after this one," I tell him, as I draw the last bit of liquid from a glass bottle into a small syringe. It's your turn to buy it, so order some online soon, alright?"

"Fine," Kidney agrees.

"And hurry up and get done with that already," I say. "I wanna get going to Mrs. Horatay's house soon."

"Why so impatient?" Kidney asks. "We still have several hours of night left before even the earliest risers start getting up. It's actually still a little early."

"Do you even have to ask why I'm impatient?" I ask as I pack rope into a black backpack. "You've seen her too, after all."

Kidney grins. "If I was her husband, I'd hate to have to leave that rack for a boring business trip, on the week of our anniversary, no less. I'll be sure to give her a good titty fucking in his absence."

I laugh. "It's funny how we've never even spoken to the Horatays, but we know all this shit about them. Gossiping housewives are truly a force to be feared. If I ever get married, it'll be to a quiet woman."

Kidney lets out a scoff. "A ring around the finger is like a collar around the neck. I look at it as a symbol of bondage.

We do most things with our hands and fingers, so rings are placed around them to show that everything you do after marriage is under your spouse's control."

"Are you sure you're not just saying that because your dad's a pussy whipped loser?"

"Tsk," Kidney grumbles, as he removes the final DVD from the tray. "Flip your mattress over, will you. It's time to put these away."

I do as he asks, then watch him go to work on hiding the DVDs.

"You're a pretty good seamstress," I remark. "You'll have to give me an embroidery lesson sometime."

"Say what you want, sewing is a useful practical skill, same as cooking. I won't be dependent on some bitch to take care of me," Kidney says.

"Yeah," I agree. "I'm gonna have to know how to close the mattress on my own after we make new movies anyway."

There's a pause before I ask, "How's Krin doing?"

He bristles. "Why should you care about my little sister?"

I sigh, "What's the problem? You're always complaining about how annoying she is. She's a lot like mine." I grin, then say, "I'd be fine with you fucking Sota, you know."

I notice Kidney swallow, then I laugh.

"I know you want to, man. It's totally obvious."

He has no counter to this.

"How about we strike a deal? I'll slip some roofies to Sota, if you do the same with Krin."

"Krin's not annoying all the time," Kidney says softly. "I've talked about how she badgers me into doing homework and chores and takes my stuff without asking. But, I guess I've never mentioned how it really is between us."

I listen with an eyebrow raised.

"In the town we lived in before, our old man had a pretty nasty fall from grace. The folk there were cliquish to begin with, big families rooted in years of tradition.

So, that incident only ensured that we were completely rejected- all of us Bellourds. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," they'd say, so the adults didn't want their kids around me or Krin.

Nobody really spoke to us. Even if they didn't understand why, we were just rotten apples to be avoided. Even so, we weren't lonely.

We were able to stay together a lot, because we're only a year apart. Things were nice with just the two of us." Kidney smiles in recollection.

"We played around all time back then: hide and seek in the woods, role playing, a lot made up games too... One day, we decided to play doctor in Krin's room.

I can't remember whose idea it was, but I remember that after she checked my breathing, if behind my ears were clean, and everything else, I ended up lying on the pale gray carpet for a "down there checkup."

After my checkup was over, it was my turn to be the doctor, and do the whole routine on her.

After that time, we'd play doctor every few days. And after a while, the patient started to always end up saying, 'Hurry up and get to the down there checkup.' That eventually became all the doctor game was about.

We didn't know much, except that it felt good, and that we didn't wanna get caught doing the down there checkups.

Over time though, we stopped bothering to call them checkups, or asking, 'Wanna play doctor?' We'd just go into a bedroom, close the door behind ourselves, and touch each other.

We didn't stop, even after our family finally got enough money to move here, and we both made other friends. And one time back in junior high, our parents went on vacation.

We had a long day of doing whatever we wanted around the house, got tired, crashed on the couch, and turned the TV on to some lame channel.

I got hard, which wasn't unusual when we were alone, but this time we both felt it was different.

Now, we had all the time in world to go as far as we wanted. That day, when we lost our virginities together, is the most cherished memory I have.

It was amazing, almost heavenly. I'd never felt that close to anyone before. I felt so warm and complete- so happy and at home.

Even now, the honest moments between me and Krin are the most precious things to me. I'm not ready to accept any other man into the picture, Jeeto."

I sigh, "But any other woman is fine?"

"What I do with those other women isn't like what me and Krin have together. They're nothing," Kidney says.

"Krin would be nothing to me, and as for her, she wouldn't even know who it was. That's hardly getting into your precious picture, then, is it?"

"But Krin is something!" Kidney says emphatically. He then reins himself in. "I just don't want anyone doing her that way. End of discussion. I'm going back to my place to change and pick up my bag."

"Alright," I say lazily. "But you know, for someone who I thought hated women, you've got an annoying soft spot for one."

"Meet you at Mrs. Horatay's house," he says.

I watch his back with narrowed eyes as he leaves, wondering if Krin's little pussy would feel as "heavenly" for me if I forced her down on her knees and fucked her.

If and when that happens, I'll let her know that she has her brother to blame the most.

I might have let this go if Kidney didn't make such a big deal about it. But he just made her forbidden fruit, and a woman should understand, how a forbidden fruit is more enticing than all the others in the garden.