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#that i am grateful every day to be free of. being young sucked a lot on many levels. 16-19 was the worst period of my life hands down.
louderfade · 10 months
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Patti Smith wasn't butch, but she was definitely macho, albeit in a kind of goofy way--consciously overstated tough guy. It was. a redolent punk pose that came naturally to her, as well it should have: she helped invent it.
She sings like a woman, dresses like a boy, fronts a band of all-male pals and covers not only Lou and Mick but Pete, and when she does Van she doesn't even switch the gender, chanting, "I'm gonna make her mine make her mine make her mine make her mine!" as if that were the most natural thing in the world.
Now, it wasn't like women had never worn unisex hair or little black vests before. What this skinny weirdo offered wasn't androgyny per se but a new use for it: to cut a niche in the music that was neither sexual invitation nor sexual confrontation, like, "Hi! I'm Patti Smith. I'm going to be charismatic. But not sexually charismatic! That way we can be friends."
from Trouble Girls: The Rolling Stone Book of Women in Rock, 1997
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shalom-iamcominghome · 2 months
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Hi! Feel free to ignore this if you don’t want to answer (or if it doesn’t apply to you)! I’m a prospective convert and at the moment I’m waiting until im older/ live alone to start. I was wondering how long you waited until you begun conversion? And what did you do during that time before you started classes? I know I won’t start my conversion now as it’s not the right time, but I don’t know how to have patience for a life I desperately want to live. I wondered if any converts felt similarly before they begun their journey. Ty :)! 
So, I didn't have to worry about being too young to start converting - I decided as an adult, though my living situation is complicated (the Rent Is Too Damn High Party might just have a point).
What I mostly have done in the meantime though are:
Reading as many books as I can (the books in my LibraryThing are books that I've collected, and some I have read!)
Following as many jews online as possible on tumblr, instagram, twitter, and youtube (my primary social media). I've been following many "types" of jews, many of them are women, orthodox, sephardi, converts, and some Black jews, as well! Cultivating a diverse jewish feed has inspired and educated me in ways I never thought possible, and I'm grateful every day for the age we live in (even if it sucks a lot of the times)
Looking around for shuls and attending services. This might potentially be a far-fetched idea, but this is a great way to engage with the unique jewish community in your area. I totally get that this might not be an option - heck, I have to drive forty-five minutes away just to get to shul, but it has been so helpful for me
I'm someone who really likes to plan things out - researching what I want out of judaism has been so helpful in this time and before when I was considering conversion
Doing all of these things together was what made me decide that conversion really was the only option for myself. I think once I recognized a familiar feeling, I knew that I can't abandon this. This feeling is something I can only describe as being something you feel deep within your soul. I don't know if every gerim/conversion student feels like this, but that was my personal tell, and that's kind of what I was waiting for before I became as serious as I am now.
I hope this might give you inspiration or answered your questions! I'm more than happy to talk about this, and I hope you are well and that your journey brings you nothing but peace, no matter where it leads you
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lunaekalenda · 3 years
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𝖓𝖚𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖎𝖛𝖊
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eren x fem!reader
suggestive conversations, teacher x student mention, smoking, alcohol, mention of love triangle, reiner doesn't have an easy life, characters are aged up and they correspond to the last season, modern au, eren being a tease, nsfw once they get to the party, dirty talking, reader may have a degradation kink, slapping, finger-sucking cause that's my sign, neck grabbing, rough composure, really long fic and really long warnings, size kink, wall sex, consensual relation, reader is tiny next to eren, kneejob (does that exist?), use of words like fucktoy, doll, slut; dom!eren x sub!reader, goddess i’m getting scared bc of the quantity of warnings, unprotected sex (don’t be like eren), oral (m receiving), consensual filming,, author is horny half of the drabble, please correct me in any errors! sex scenes are really bad written sorry
a/n: yeah... i don't know what i'm doing someone pls tell me to stop. as always, very welcome criticism and minors please do not interact!!
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"Jaeger, Eren." The teacher says his name and he gets up, loose clothes and his lazy bun on the back of his head giving him that attractive visual he has. Girls look at him with interest and boys with envy. After all, they all want to be like him, date him, be his friends. Be near him is something to be grateful for half the university students. What a bunch of idiots.
His tall body reaches the professor table, were he leans on, receiving the paper that acredites his graduation. A smirk on his face, directed to your young teacher, makes your friend Pieck sigh on the chair next to you. "He has for sure fucked her." she says. You look to the teacher expression, a smile just for him while he raises just the corners of his lips to her. You look to the paper on your hands. It's your last day. You're finally graduating. University is just another closed door for you. The last people take their diplomas quickly, the teachers giving their typical emotional discourses before releasing you to the campus yard. Reiner gets closer to your group, his arm around your shoulders as he smile for all of you.
"Today. Tonight." he corrects himself. "There's a party and, as the captain of the Waterpolo team, I'm the host." he says, a smile on his lips reaching his kind eyes. "You're all invited, of course. VIP invitations" Winking to all of you and gaining a giggle from Pieck, Reiner moves his head to a whistle. Bertholdt calls him from the door of the swimming pool, and Reiner leaves, smiling at you.
"I'll see you there?" he asks, a huge smile on his face. You can't help but smile back at him while you nod. Reiner leaves running the yard and Porco smiles at you, a joke about to escape his lips. You two have been friends time enough to know every single expression of the other.
"He does like you." he says, instead. Something serious for the first time in your friendship. Someone hits him with a paper when he was about to add something.
"You're finally out." Porco's big brother, Marcel Galliard, who works as the waterpolo trainer, takes his brother by the arm. "And out of the pics if you stay here, come on." He takes Porco with him, both of them leaving in Reiner's direction. Pieck smiles at you, about to comment something about Reiner, and you search your phone. It isn't there. Fuck.
"Pieck, I've lost my phone." you say, her face changing to a concerned expression. You touch every pocket and every place you've could have put it, without gain. Even she searches on the little handbag she's carrying. You remembered to take a pic with Pieck on the terrace and had to fix your shoes. You probably forgot it there. "Shit. Is the Uni still open, right?" Pieck nods quietly. Annie turns around to look at you. "Coming back real quick, wait for me here, please."
You make your way upstairs to the latest floor of the Univeristy, a terrace where teachers liked to go and smoke or drink their coffees between classes. "How can I forget my phone there? Am I dumb?" you think for yourself. There are just a few stairs left. You find Armin on your way. His short blond hair and his big blue eyes are recognizable everywhere.
"Congratulations." he says, that gentle smile on his face. "We finally graduated." You smile at him back, nodding.
"We did, Min." you say. Armin was in the same class as you, and he's really nice to you. Being paired in a couple works has made your friendship grow little by little, and you can consider him a friend now. It's ironical how he's Eren's best friend, even when the two of them have been seen parted for a while. He looks at you, his eyes following your way. "You go to the terrace?" he asks. You nod. He hums and looks upstairs, as if he was making sure something.
"Forgot something there, but it will take a minute." Armin nods and you keep going. Opening the big door, that is casually still open, the wind shakes your hair and your dress. You see your phone on the chair you sat earlier, while taking the pic, and you're fast to take it. Fortunately, it does have battery and it seems as nobody has touched it. You turn around, ready to go down to meet your friends, when you listen femenine giggles and sound of wet kisses. Gross. Is somebody using the rooftop to fuck? In the university? You shake your head. But your legs don't move. Your head searches unconsciously the place where the voices are coming from. You want to know who they are. Another giggle. Another kiss. A quiet sigh, the sound of fabrics. "Come on, move, move." You say to yourself. The woman speaks. "Now that you graduated..." Isn't that your teachers voice? With a student? You remain silent, trying to hear him. You hear a sigh. A manly and long sigh.
"Now that I graduated I have no reason to come here." You know that voice. That deep, raspy tone and that way of talking. Your brain searches quickly who does that voice belong to.
"Come on, Eren." even when you where about to figure who was the mysterious boy, she says his name. You move your hand to cover your mouth, your phone ringing in that moment. Pieck's ID showing on the screen. "Fuck, fuck." you try to silence it in vain. They heard you. Eren sighs, a long sigh that is followed by high heels steps. She's searching you. You're there, on the middle of the rooftop, and she's going around, near the door, no way to escape for you. You search quickly a place to hide. Then, he talks again. "They probably left, hm?" he says. His tone is way deeper now. "But we should as well. Search another student next year. I won't come back here for you." he says. With angry steps, she leaves. You can see her shadow from behind the little maintenance shed. You hear then calm steps, a lighter and the combustion of a cigarette. Eren palms the shed metallic roof, scaring you.
"Having fun spying the others?" he says. The smoke comes out of his mouth when he kneels next to you. "I can bet you're wet with just hearing us making out." you look at him in his green eyes, without avoiding his gaze. He raises a brow, putting the cigarette again between his lips.
"This is a public space. It isn't for you to bring every single girl you want." you say. Eren lets out a little laugh.
"I had the teacher's permission." he says, jokingly. "Who do you think you are to question her permissions?" his lips part, letting the smoke escape quietly. He gets up, his tall body resting against the structure. He's attractive, and he knows it for sure. But, the moment he opens that damn mouth of his... He loses all his attractiveness and charm. You take your phone, ready to go down with your friends.
"I hope you have a good future, Eren Jaeger. See you."
"Later, baby. On Reiner's party." he says, a little smile on his lips. "I guess he had invited the girl he likes." you didn’t like that joking tone. 
"And why the hell would he invite you?" you ask. Eren slides his eyes down your body when you get up, your light dress moving with the wind, your hair getting messy and your challenging eyes looking directly at his. He entertains himself on your legs, how they looked smooth and good under the dress. And, surprisingly, he finds himself thinking of the sweet thing upper, covered by the dress and your underwear. 
"Because I'm on his waterpolo team." he says, his green irises going back to yours. Damn, true. He’s the point of the team. The offensive. The strongest one between them. 
"Then I hope we don't see each other." you say. Eren gets closer to you, smoke leaving his lips while he smiles jokingly at you again. You can smell the tobacco from your position, but you don’t want to move. You want to show him you can also keep his gaze. That you’re not intimidated by him.
"I'll be searching for you." he whispers. "After all, you stayed up here to see who I was making out with. Maybe you're jealous. But don't worry, i'll gladly show you what I did to her" You raise a brow this time, giving a couple steps back to put distance. You cross your arms on your chest. Eren smiles, taking the cigarette away from his lips.
"Search another girl. I'm sure a lot of them want your attention." you say. That makes Eren smirk. He walks a couple steps back, his back resting against the shed again. He throws the cigarette and steps on it. 
"You have a strong personality, not like all the others. I like it." his eyes are on yours, and you're not afraid to keep the visual contact with him. "You're different." he says. You take a couple steps near him, heading to the door. Palming his shoulder, you smile.
"Good job reading all that cliche books where you took that phrase. Now, I have to go." his hand grips your wrist. With a shake, you get free and, false smiling at him, you leave. Your heart is racing while you go downstairs, Eren is still on the terrace, giggling for himself. He found such an interesting one. You keep going downstairs until you reach the yard, Pieck's black hair and Annie's bun can be seen. You walk towards them, your phone ringing on your hand. It's Pieck again. She sees you a hangs up, walking towards you.
"You took forever, y/n" she says, showing you her phone. "I calles you a hundred times. What were you doing?" she asks. You don't want to discover the teacher and Eren and less on the campus. "I'll tell you later." you say. Pieck told you to have dinner and get ready for the party at her home, so the two of you start to walk, waving your hands at Annie, who was waiting for Armin. Eren comes out of the university as well. His gaze finds yours and he smiles at you, but it isn't a sweet smile. It’s a teasing one. You turn around and follow Pieck.
"Eren? I told you those two had something!" she says. You're tying your shoes while she applies rimmel on her lashes. She looks beautiful, with that golden tight dress that shines when she moves. You wanted to go with your graduation dress, but she quickly corrected you. "No, no, that dress is too beautiful for this type of party. You have to show what you have." she said. She lended you a red dress that fits you. It is beautiful, and you look good on it. She turns around. "Were they in the middle of it? What happened!" she asks. You blush.
"They were just kissing, i think. They kinda broke up." you say. Pieck nods quietly and looks again to the mirror, taking blush to her cheeks. You explain her that Eren talked to you after that.
"Oh, so he's going to the party?" she asks. You nod. "Porco told me he wasn't that interested, so he'll probably pass." You really hope Porco is right while you two walk to Reiner's house, a big duplex near the campus. You can hear music and people talking from the corner of the street. Reiner opens the door for you.
"Y/N!" he says, quickly hugging you. Pieck waves her hand at him. "Come on, girls, enter." he lets you in. There isn't a huge amount of people. Jean and Connie from the Waterpolo club are playing beer pong and Bertholdt is serving some drinks. You look around, but you don't know if you want to find him or make sure he isn't there.
It seems like Eren isn't there, for your luck. Bert gives you the drink you asked for and you thank him. There's a couple people talking near a speaker, another ones are playing on Reiner's TV and another ones are dancing. Reiner smiles.
"If you need anything, the rooms and the living room are up. There's a bathroom in that door and another one upstairs." he says. You smile at him. "I'll be around here if you need me." he says. You nod and he disappears, giving your arm a soft squeeze. Pieck tells you that she's going outside and you decide to stay inside. The juice with a little bit of vodka is kinda strong, but it tastes sweet. You hear a hum near you.
"What are you drinking?" you roll your eyes, turning around. Eren's tall body is there, smiling at you. He looks into your cup. "Juice?" he asks. You raise a brow.
"Do you care?" he lets out a melodious laugh. "Don't you have friends?" you can almost feel all the gazes in you. Envy gazes, surprise gazes. You know they're commenting. "How did she get his attention?" "Sure he's playing with some bad toys" You look at Eren.
"I do. But my interest tonight is in you." he tells. "After all, you deserve private representations of what we were doing, since you were that curious."
"Get lost, please."  you ask him. He smirks. Taking your cup, he smells it. He gives it back to you.
"Don't drink that much." he says. You look at him. Is he now giving you orders? Taking the cup to your lips, you drink under his gaze. He raises a brow when you take the cup away from your mouth. You weren’t going to get orders and less form a dork like him. Surprisingly, his thumb takes a drop that slides from your lips. He licks it.
"Tastes sweet." it's all he says, before disappearing. Did he just licked it? You put the cup on a near table and follow him outside. He's lighting a cigarette. He smiles at you when you arrive.
"What was that. What you did inside." you ask. He laughs.
"We can't waste alcohol, can we?" he says. He walks closer to you. His bun is still low and loose, and he's wearing his waterpolo team t-shirt with ripped black jeans. A big 5 in his t-shirt. The number he uses on the water. "Do you smoke?" he asks, offering you the cigarette. You shake your head. He raises a brow. "Wanna try?" he asks. You're not into that type of things but, maybe, the way his green eyes challenged you makes you nod. You want to show him you're capable. He gives you the cigarette. "Want me to teach you?" When he ended the phrase, you're coughing. He laughs. "Such an impatient girl, hm?"
 He takes the cigarette again, taking a puff, his lips right on the spot you stained with gloss. He gets closer. "Let me show you." his lips touch yours quietly and you feel the smoke flowing between your mouths, entering yours. You’re unable to move, even when he’s kissing you. It feels nice, feels warm and soft against your mouth, the smoke entering right from his parted lips. You want more. More of him. He parts. "Breath out quietly." Why are you following his orders now? You do it softly, his gaze on your lips while you do it. "Good girl." 
That was hot. You can't deny it. The way he passed the smoke to you, how he looked at you. Oh, goddess. He smiles, stepping on the cigarette. Your legs feel like jelly and your heart races when he gets closer.
"You liked it?" he asks, a sweet purr on your ear. You nod. You did. Now you get why everyone is always around Eren. He's naturally magnetic, attractive. He’s the type of person that bewitches, that makes you follow his orders even when you don’t want you. He can make you weak for you from just a single peck. "I know more tricks with my mouth than passing smoke" he says. That makes you cringe a little, get down of your bubble.
"You're so dirty minded." You say. Maybe he was starting to attract you, to make you fall for him. You won't. You need to go out. Far from him. Far before you fall.
"I was starting to have fun." he whispers. You start to walk, heading to Reiner's house again. Eren follows you quietly. You've seen enough romantic films to know every single way he has to take you to his bed. You sigh. Inside, a lot of people is dancing. You also want to. Eren follows you quietly while you enter the improvised dance floor, a empty space between two sofas, moving to the song. It's hot inside Reiner's house, a stupid amount of people dancing together, bodies close and teasing movements. Maybe Eren tries to seduce you outside, but it is your time to make him beg for you. Moving your head and your body, you see him from th corner of your eye. He's there, behind you, his hands tingling. He wants to touch your body, that tiny red dress and that velvety skin. He wants to mark that exposed neck with his bites, tangle that hair with his fingers, feel you against him. You take one of his hands, putting it on your hips. He swallows.
"You're not that brave now." you whisper, without letting him hear you. His other hand finds your belly, going up to the low cut of Pieck's dress. His hand touches your skin, making you gasp. He gets close. "You won." he whispers on your ear, his hands sneaking, touching every showing skin he finds. You smirk, turning around. You're not aware of Reiner's sad gaze. "I won?" you ask. He smiles, his face getting closer, as if he wanted to kiss you. "Hmh." he hums. You smile at him, letting your body meet his really close, making you feel every part of Eren’s body. You raise a brow. "There's evidence of my win." you joke, Eren's lips curving on a teasing smile.
"You should take responsibility of your trophy." he feels your hands on his arms, making him sigh. He takes your hand and guides you upstairs. "Wait, Eren, wait!" you ask him. People look at you, going head to the second floor, your hand jailed on his. Almost everybody knows now what you two are going to do. "Eren, everybody will..."
"Let them talk. We can have a good time while they spend their last braincells making rumors." he says. He's kinda right. You shouldn't care of what people say or what people think. "But it is Reiner's house." you tell him. He smiles. 
"He lets me use the guest room to sleep. It's almost my room. My brother doesn't really like my company, I guess." he says. You feel bad for Reiner. He's such a sweetheart with you, and everybody thinks he likes you. And there are you, about to make out with Eren on his house. But you're drunk of him, of his smell and his skin, his deep voice and his green eyes. You can't help. You need him. He opens the room and lets you in. You don't have even time to see the room, feeling his lips on yours as soon as he closes the door, his hand sneaking behind your back to lock it. One of his arms rest above your head, against the wood, and the other pulls you closer to his body from your low back. His hand grabs your ass roughly, making you jump a little. He giggles against your mouth. His lips taste like tobacco and mint bubblegum. He parts.
"Are you drunk?" he asks. You shake your head. You take his hair on your hand, trying to make him cover your mouth again with his. He gives you a peck. "You want this?" he asks. Your hands search his chest, defined muscles under the team t-shirt. 
"I want you, Eren." you don't even know who you are. He has you crazy, begging for him and his kisses, feeling his hotness in your body. You want it. You want him. "Please.". His superiority smirk covers your lips again, your body arching to feel his closer, the grip on you harder, his other hand still on the door. He parts your lips quietly, the softer action of all he has done until now. You feel his tongue caressing yours quietly. It feels nice. His hand takes the border of your red dress, lifting it, asking for your consent. You nod at him, his hand moving it to your waist. He parts to look down, your underwear on his vision camp. He passes his tongue on his lips while his eyes scan that cute black panty you’re wearing. He likes it. Simple, something a cute innocent girl like you would wear. The thought arouses him. He’s going to ruin you, the sweet little girl that seems too tiny for him.
“What a precious panty, doll.” he hums, his knee going up until it meets the black fabric. Then, with a smirk, he makes pressure up, your body feeling his knee hot and hard against your wetness. You gasp and he smiles. “Such a desperate fucktoy.” he whispers, his lips near your open ones, your sighs every time he moves his knee against you. He likes that expression on your face. The way your cute lips are open in silent pleasure signs. He would love to watch them open around another thing, but he takes his free hand to your mouth, his long thumb caressing your lips before entering your mouth, pressing your tongue while you keep making that expression that has become his favorite. “Suck.” he asks. You obey, your mouth gently sucking his thumb, your tongue playing circles around it. He keeps that game on your cunt, making you lose your concentration on sucking his finger. He puts his knee down, you feel the emptiness between your legs. He takes his phone, tobacco pack and a lighter from his pocket, putting them on the near bed. Then, he takes your hands, guiding them to the fabric of his jeans. You understand what he wants and take the button off, then, unzipping his pants. They fall around his ankles, his muscled legs and his underwear is revealed. He sighs when your hand finds the bulge. You look at him again, spreading kisses on his jaw. His hand covers yours while you try to sneak it in his underwear. He sighs when he feels your cold hand against him, fine and elegant fingers taking his shaft softly. His head rests against the arm on the wall, your kisses going down his body. When you were about to kneel, he takes you up again.
“I’ll let you take a taste of it later.” he sighs again, your hand squeezing harder, making him gasp. His hand closes around your neck, not hard enough to choke you, just a grab. A way to make you know who’s in charge. He kisses you. “Now.” he says, out of breath. His fingers take your panty, sliding it down your legs. He looks at your half- naked body, the dress covering just your thorax. “I want to fuck you right”. He takes your body, pinning you against the wall, your legs around his waist and your hands gripped to his t-shirt. He takes his hand down, the other one holding you in place. His hand strokes his shaft a couple times, also making sure you’re ready enough to take him, before starting to put it in. He feels excited. How your body seems so little between his and the wall. How you’ll struggle to take all of him in. His cock twitch in anticipation. He can’t wait to be deep in you, to know how much of him can you take, but he wants to make it right. Make this something you’ll beg for. Make him feel superior. He pushes slowly, feeling every squeeze and every movement your walls make against him. You moan and he lets out the deepest groan. He doesn’t wait that much to move against you, even when he’s not fully inside, your lips parting to the sensation of him caressing your insides. He puts you against the wall, making the hold easier for him. He thrusts into you with such a power and strength that you feel your head dizzy. He keeps moving, lewd sounds and mixed heavy breaths leaving your mouths. He feels how he’s going deeper and deeper. He smirks.
“That’s it. You’re taking it so good, like the cockslut you are. You struggled to take all of me in that little cunt, all stuffed by me. Such a doll, hm?” he says, out of breath. You nod while he keeps moving against you, you hand taking his hair as his mouth bites your neck. “You were a brat this morning, a fucking tease, but now you’re behaving like a good girl.” he whispers, before bitting you again. One of his hands sneak to the part you two are connected, and he caresses you gently, his fingers knowing perfectly were to touch. You gasp. “You like it, don’t you?”. Your back starts to hurt a little, the wood door is too hard to be resting against. Eren doesn’t mind, his muscles flexed while he keeps moving you up and down his length. “You’re about to, hm?” he asks. “You’re squeezing me. Hard.” He groans. It's true, you're feeling it as well, the knot on your belly that announces your end, pleasure maximized by Eren’s fingers. His lips cover yours, a strand of spit connecting your mouth when he parts, your mind unable to make a coherent sentence. You take your hands to his back, helping him with your movements, reaching your end faster. He isn’t going to edge you. He feels merciful today. He’ll let you cum after all you did for him, after how good you’re squeezing him, after the pretty expressions you made. You fall on his arms with a long sigh,  juices dripping down the two of you as you keep shaking on his arms. He smirks. "Oi, you came really hard." He puts you down on the floor again, quietly sliding out of you. He's still as hard as he was. "I'm that good at it?" he asks. Then, he grabs your jaw, making you look at him. "Or maybe you're just a slut for me?" 
You blush. You did. He knew where to bite, where to touch and where to thrust. You couldn't help, he’s good at this. He pats your head softly. "Now, in reward, since you didn't wait for me, you could use that pretty little mouth you used to tease me this morning in something more interesting, hm?" he asks. You know what he's asking for. Before you kneel, he sits on the bed, tying his hair again while a cigarette hangs from his lips. Then, he pushes softly by your shoulders. You hear him inhaling the smoke. Taking his phone, he makes you look at him, pulling your jaw quietly. “Do you mind if i film you?” You shake your head. Filming is quite interesting, and hot, definitely hot. “Promise me that those videos will never leave your phone”. He smiles, a soft and genuine smile, offering you his hand. You shake it. 
“Promise.”
The image is quite hot, your face resting in his tight and your hands caressing him, while his parted lips let go moans mixed with smoke. He takes two fingers to your mouth, the other hand taking the phone. He films your hands, your expression, his words.
"You look pretty with your mouth full of my fingers, but I prefer another thing, doll." he says, quietly pushing your head, making an intrusion in your mouth. He sighs. "Fuck. Show the camera, pretty." You try to wipe the tears away and he caresses your jaw, making you look to the phone filming you. “Show it how you suck me.” You think about him, watching this video in the loneliness of his dormitory, no light, his hand sneaking into his pants. "Do it alright and we'll be done in a second." he says, taking a puff again. He smokes too much for your preference. His fingers, still full of your saliva, impact against your ass. "Faster, doll." he asks. Slap again. Again. You feel your skin tingling under his slaps, hot and red. "I would also like to ruin that pretty ass you have." He grabs it this time, the camera pointing at his big hand squeezing your buttock. You keep sucking under his sighs and gasps, helping yourself with your hand. He smiles. "That's it, I'm already." he moves his hips against you, strong enough to make you feel it. Tears come again to the corners of your eyes as he keeps moving, stronger, the camera pointing everywhere while he loses himself. "You want it? Should I let you have it on your mouth? Or maybe on your pretty face?" he gasps at the thought of your face full of his seed, and maybe that's what makes him pull it out and paint you. With a final sigh, Eren pauses the video, putting out the cigarette against an ashtray. You rest again near his legs as he looks at you. His hands grab your neck again, making you sit on his lap. “You should clean that mess. Don’t want everybody to know how much of a slut you are for me.” he says, his fingers outlining your lips. “And I’ll keep this.” he says, taking the panties he throw away earlier. “You know where to find me if you wanna get them back. Or maybe give me new ones.”
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atlafan · 4 years
Text
Something New - One Shot
a/n: I’ve been working on this for a couple of weeks, rewrote half of it, and now I feel like it’s good enough to post. I guess you could call this enemies to friends to lovers??? they’re both idiots, honestly lmao, anyways, enjoy biology teacher!Harry (not proofread) reblogs and feedback are helpful!
Warnings: a little bit of angst, fluff, and smut
Words: 20K
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Divorced, new home, new town, new job, and a new school district for the kids all within the same year. Y/N had been separated from her husband for a couple of years prior, but when he moved in with his girlfriend, she knew it was officially over. It sucked. She knew she’d look back on it someday and be grateful that they ended things, but right now she wasn’t too happy about it. He got to be a weekend dad with his young girlfriend by his side, and there she was looking like the crazy old hang. It wasn’t her fault for not taking the best care of herself. She was depressed, could you blame her. They lived in one of those towns where everyone knew every little thing about you, so it was time to get out.
Securing the new job was the first on the list. If she could do that then maybe the kids would be more understanding about leaving. Y/N was a database manager for a non-profit organization. She was behind the scenes, and that’s how she liked it. She didn’t have to be the one asking for money or on the front lines vising donors. It was a job she could do anywhere, and she’d get paid well because of the software she knew how to use like the back of her hand.
There was a private school she had seen a job opening for. Normally, she’d be more apt to work for a non-profit, and not just some school for snotty rich kids, but their website made it seem like it wasn’t like that. Their donors gave out scholarships for students all of the time, and staff/faculty could send their kids to the school for free. That was a no brainer. Giving her kids a good education was her dream. The school was a K-12, so that would mean an easy pick up and drop off. After thinking it over, and researching the surrounding towns, she sent in her application.
Two weeks later she got a call for a video interview. She accepted happily. A week after that she was asked on campus for a second interview. Y/N put on her best blazer and nicest blue dress, the school colors were red and blue after all. She even made sure to wear red heels. Y/N spoke eloquently during her interview. She had researched everyone in the development office so she already knew faces and names. They were impressed. She spoke about her experience with The Rasier’s edge, the database management system, and they were awe-struck. She was given a tour of the campus, and it was absolutely gorgeous. The elementary school was a separate building, and the middle school and high school were separate, but connected by two connectors to make one large building. The development office was set up in this cute white house. They shared it with the alumni office, and apparently it was one of the oldest buildings on campus. Although, it was taken of so you’d never know it was old. They even showed her where her potential new office would be. There was a pool and ice rink as well that Y/N got to see. She was impressed. She interviewed the people on the committee too, knowing it was a two way street. She liked what they had to say.
A week or so after that, she was given an offer, a really good offer. Now it was time to talk to her kids. She couldn’t just accept without speaking with them first. Her daughter, Riley, would be going into ninth grade, and her son, Ben, would be going into eighth. Y/N was only thirty-three, she was a young mother, thanks to her ex-husband who was about seven years older than her. A red flag she should have been more wise to, but she was young and naïve, and that’s all that needs to be said about that.
It was a difficult conversation with the kids, but after calming down they had become more open to it. They were upset with their father, and the idea of being a little farther away was sounding really nice. Living in a new home to make new memories in was sounding really nice. Making new friends and having a fresh start was sounding really nice.
So, Y/N accepted the position, and was given a moving allowance. She was able to find a home quickly that was perfect for them. A decent three bedroom about fifteen minutes from campus, so the commute would be easy enough. Riley and Ben took a liking to the uniforms, and since you did all of this over the summer, they’d be able to blend in easily on the first day of school. No awkward ‘walking in halfway through the term’ bullshit.
“When am I supposed to see them?” Your ex had asked you over the phone when you told him you were moving.
“Every other weekend, same as before.”
“So now I have to drive an hour out of my way to-“
“It’s not an hour, it’s forty-five minutes at best. Shouldn’t it be worth it? They’re your kids.”
“You’re taking them from me.”
“You did that to yourself, Joseph. The weekends will stay the same. Be happy our kids are getting a good education. Goodbye.”
She knew she was harsh, but after being cheated on, and left for a younger woman, she thought she earned the right. A week before school started, the kids had gotten their schedules in the mail.
“Who do you have, Riles?” Ben asks her.
“Someone named…Mr. Styles for homeroom, he’s the biology teacher too.”
“Thought you took bio sophomore year.” Y/N says to her.
“Nope, my grades were good, remember? I’m in the honors class.” She smiles.
“What about you, Ben?”
“Um…Mr. Horan. Looks like I’ll have him for pre-algebra.”
“No female teachers for that, huh?” Y/N asks.
“I have a woman for Geometry, Mum, see?” Riley shows her.
“Oh good. Got worried for a second there.” Y/N chuckles.
“Are you nervous to start your new job?” Ben asks her.
“No.” She shakes her head. “I’m actually really excited. The time off has been nice, but I’m eager to get back into it.”
//
Y/N drops off the kids on the first day before going over to the staff lot. The program support assistant, Millie, is waiting for her with a cup of coffee and a warm smile.
“Morning, Y/N.”
“Hi, Millie.”
“Cream no sugar, right?”
“That’s right, thank you so much.”
“Let me lead you upstairs to your office. You have a meeting with the director of development, John, in about half an hour, and then you’ll have a team meeting with the rest of the people on your specific team, the gift processors, customer service. Then at lunch the development team and the alumni team will get together to welcome you.”
“Oh my, well, alright.” She chuckles.
“I put everything on your calendar for you.”
“Thank you.”
Y/N was used to doing everything herself at work, this was already a breath of fresh air. She hoped Riley and Ben had a good morning just the same.
It takes Riley a moment to find her classroom. She stops short when she walks in when she sees Mr. Styles, and another student walks right into her.
“I’m so sorry.” She says to the boy that nearly knocked her over. “Um, I wasn’t sure if this was the right classroom.”
“it’s okay.” He says. “Are you new?”
“Yeah, I’m Riley.”
“I’m Chris.” He smiles. “Wanna sit next to me?”
“Sure!” She says and sits a few rows back with him.
“Where’d you move from?”
“Just form a few towns over. My mom just got a job in the development office here.”
“Oh, cool! My mom works grounds here.”
Riley noticed that Chris had a rainbow pin on his blazer. She smiles at it. He notices her looking at it.
“I…uh…like your pin.”
“Oh, thanks.” He mumbles.
“My best friend back home has a lot of rainbow stuff in her room.”
Chris nods in understanding. More kids come in and claim their seats. The second bell rings, and Mr. Styles closes the door.
“Good morning, everyone.” Riley’s jaw drops at his accent and deep voice.
“Get used to it.” Chris whispers to her. “A lot of the teachers here are from other countries.”
Riley nods and continues to listen to Mr. Styles.
“Welcome to another year at our fabulous school. You’re officially high schoolers!” He grabs the handbook. “Which means there’s even more rules to follow, so let’s get through this together, yeah?”
Mr. Styles was quirky. He cracked jokes and made Riley feel excited to have him for biology. She turned to look at all of the lab benches in the back. She loved science in general, so this was good.
“Lastly, open house for parents will be at the end of the month. They begin at 6PM, so hopefully I’ll be able to meet all your folks. We also have a really fun fall carnival on campus. There’s games, rides, and it also gives a chance for families to see where you go to school. It’s all a part of our homecoming weekend.” The bell rings and everyone stands up. “Riley, could we chat for a second?”
She nods and looks at Chris.
“I can wait outside for you.” He says to her and she feels grateful. Their schedules were just about the same.
“Um, hi.” She says shyly.
“Hi, dear, so I was informed you’re new, is that correct?”
“Yes.”
“Well, if there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask. Usually we have new students stand up and introduce themselves, but I don’t like making people do that. It’s so forced. I can see you’re already making a friend.” He smiles. “Is it just you that’s new to us? Any siblings?”
“My younger brother is in eighth grade. He has Mr. Horan for homeroom.”
“You don’t say? That’s my best mate, believe it or not. He’s in good hands.”
“That’s good to know. I’m sure it’ll give my mom some peace of mind.”
“I don’t want to make you let, just wanted to give you a more friendly introduction.”
“Thank you, Mr. Styles. See you for bio.”
“See you later.”
Riley was making friends right away thanks to Chris. She had people to sit with at lunch, and she made sure Ben did too. He seemed to be sitting at a full table which was great. Her last class of the day was bio, which was perfect so she’d be near her locker.
“Welcome to honors biology.” Mr. Styles says. “This is a mixed class of ninth and tenth graders. Today we’re going to settle on lab partners, and we’re going to get lab safety out of the way. It’s the bane of my existence, but I need to know you all know how to be safe.”
Chris offers to be Riley’s lab partner even though he had other friends in the class. Mr. Styles writes down who is partnered with who. Then he essentially gives a tour of the classroom. He shows them where all of the lab coats and goggles are, the eyewash station, the sanitation shower, and the other equipment they’ll be using throughout the year.
“Now, in biology, we’ll be learning a lot about plants and animals, and we’ll also get into human anatomy. These subjects can be tough at times to grasp, so please, don’t be afraid to ask questions. I want to make sure I’m explaining things properly. I’m always will to meet after school for extra help as well, or put together a study group.” Mr. Styles explains.
Riley was finding that all of the teachers were really nice so far. She meets Ben after school and they walk over to the staff lot where Y/N was. She had asked to save her lunch hour for 2PM so she could scoot the kids home quick. Her supervisor had no problem with it.
“How was it?”
“Mr. Horan is hilarious, and he’s Irish!”
“Mr. Styles is British! And super nice. I think I’m gonna like it here, Mum. I already made a friend, so I had people to sit with at lunch.”
“Me too!”
It warmed Y/N’s heart to hear that the first day went well. It was all she could have hoped for. She gets them home, set up with a snack, and back out the door she goes. She had a couple of hours left of work anyways, so it was a nice break in the day. The lunch she had earlier with her new colleagues was fantastic. Everyone was welcoming and had no problem showing her the ropes.
When she’s walking to the parking lot around 5PM she notices other people making their way as well. She smiles at a few, and she gets some friendly nods back. She’s parked next to a black range rover, and she was hoping to get to her car before the other owner because she had parked a little too close to them on their driver’s side, but it wasn’t her fault. It was the only open spot when she got back.
“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
Shit, she thinks to herself as she approaches. Not a great first impression to make at all.
“Just crawl in on the other side, H.”
“It’s the principle of the thing! They could have scratched it, or-“
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Y/N yells as she hustles over. “I had to bring my kids home, and this was the only other open spot, and the person previously on the other side of me was parked over the line, so I had to squeeze in, and I know it looks like I’m the asshole, but I swear I’m not.” She panics as she gets her keys out of her purse.
“It’s fine, miss, Harry’s just a jerk when it comes to his fancy car.”
“You sure like riding in my fancy car, so I suggest you shut it.” Harry huffs and looks at Y/N, furrowing his brows. “Look, I’ve had to be nice all day, and I’m exhausted, could you just back out so we can leave?”
“I said I was sorry.” She mumbles. Her eyes widen, though. An Irish accent and a British accent. “Shit, I think you’re my kids’ teachers.” She sighs. “Do the names Riley and Ben ring a bell?”
Harry’s features soften and he runs a hand through his hair.
“You’re Riley’s mum?”
“Yes.”
“Seems like she had a good first day. What department are you working in?”
“I’m the new database manager for the development office.”
“Ben was a delight! Laughed at all my jokes.” Niall says and you smile.
“He said you were funny. Riley liked you too, although now I’m not sure why. Taking a long day out on me. I’m sure the first day is a lot, but it was my first day too, and I’m equally as tired.”
“Maybe you should get home then.” Harry says, and she rolls her eyes.
“Nice meeting you both…well, one of you. I’m sure I’ll see you again, but if not I’ll be at the open house.” She gets into her car and carefully backs out, not scratching Harry’s car.
“You were rude.” Niall says as they both get into the car.
“I paid a lot of money for this car. I park far away for a reason, and someone has to park that close to me?”
“She apologized.”
“Good for her.”
“Harry…”
“Ugh, Francie texted me today, and it just sent me into a fucking spiral, and I had to act like it didn’t all day.”
“What?! When did she text you?”
“After homeroom, she told me to have a good first day. I didn’t even respond.”
“You should just block her number.”
“I haven’t quite reached that point yet, but it’s coming for sure.”
“You still shouldn’t have taken it out on that woman.”
“I’m sure she’ll forget all about it. I’ll be nice next time I see her, alright? Can we please just go get a pint now?”
“You’re the one driving, find a place you wanna go to.”
//
Y/N had successfully avoided the rude Brit that had given her such a tough time on her first day. Riley still raved about him, though. She said he was one of the best teachers she ever had. Ben really enjoyed Mr. Horan as well. He made math fun, which Y/N was grateful for. Ben was never really a good student, but he was doing really well so far.
“I can’t wait for you to go to the open house. Make sure to be super nice.” Riley tells Y/N. “I don’t want my teachers suddenly being mean.”
“It’s not me you have to worry about.” Y/N scoffs.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing, honey. So, you’ll walk me around to all the classrooms, and you wait outside?”
“Mhm.” She beams.
“Mum, wait until you talk to Mr. Horan. He’s going to tell you the best things about me, I just know it.” Ben says.
“I’m looking forward to it, honey.”
Y/N had a draining day on the day of open house, and she just decided to stay on campus. She ended up taking the kid home at two, and told them she could figure out where the classrooms were herself. She got to have a one on one with Mr. Horan first.
“You can just call me Niall. We don’t need to be so formal.”
“Alright.” She smiles. “You can call me Y/N.”
“Ben’s doing really well so far. I was a little nervous at first, but he’s getting the hang of it.”
“Thank god.” She sighs. “So, he’ll be in ninth grade taking algebra one next year, is that okay?”
“Perfectly okay. A lot of students do that.”
“I just wanted to make sure because my daughter is in geometry.”
“Math isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. I was checking out his other grades, and he’s excelling in history.” She nods.
The conversation goes well. Y/N makes it through all of the meetings, and her last one is with Harry. She hears laughing from inside the classroom. The door swoops open, and a couple walks out chuckling with Harry.
“Ah, Mrs. Davidson, come on in.”
“It’s Miss Y/LN, or just Y/N if you want.” She says as she sits down on the chair near his desk. He sits down on his chair.
“My mistake, Riley’s last name is-“
“Her father’s last name. I’ve changed mine back. We’re divorced, didn’t really feel like keeping it.”
“I’m, um, sorry, I know how rough divorce can be.”
“Yeah? Been through it yourself, Mr. Styles?”
“Just call me Harry, and my parents were divorced, so I know enough about it from a child’s perspective.”
“They’re not too keen on their father right now. Classic situation of him cheating on me with a younger woman, which of course they found out about.”
“That’s weird.” He rests his cheek on his fist. “You seem pretty young yourself.”
She blushes slightly and clears her throat.
“Could say the same to you. I had them young, yeah, things happen. I don’t regret it though.”
“Riley’s been a real pleasure to have in class, and she’s fitting right in. She seems to like biology the best.”
“She loves science.” She smiles. “Think she gets that from me. I was really into math and science as a kid.”
“Guess you being a database manager makes sense then. New job treating you well?”
“Yeah.” She cocks her head to the side with a smirk. “Although, my almost perfect first day was just about sullied by a man you bullied me in the parking lot.”
“Okay, okay, I was an ass.” He sighs. “Thanks for bringing it up by the way.”
“Why were you so nasty to me anyways? I’ve been avoiding you.”
He frowns at that.
“My ex…fiancé texted me and wished me a good first day, so it just ruined my day and I had to keep it all bottled up. You parking that close just brought me over the edge. I apologize.”
“Yikes, I’m sorry. Well, at least you got out of it before you got married. You saved a lot of money and time.”
“It’s alright…” He looks away for a moment. “Are you bringing the kids to the carnival? It’s all part of homecoming weekend.”
“Yes, and they’re really excited. I have to work technically since a lot of donors come back. I mostly just need to be on the ball. Their father is coming too since it’s his weekend with them technically. I guess it’s good for him to see where they’re going to school.”
“If you need a break from him I’ll be working the candy apple booth.” He smiles.
“Good to know.” She yawns. “Jesus, sorry. I gotta say, I’m whipped.”
“Makes sense, it’s past eight.”
“That late?!” She stands up immediately, and so does he. “I need to get home to them. Um, well, this was a much better meeting.” She sticks her hand out for him to shake.
“I agree. Don’t be a stranger this weekend.”
She nods and leaves his classroom. Maybe he wasn’t as big of an asshole as she thought. Y/N’s had her fair share of bad days, he was allowed to have them too.
//
“It’s like a college campus, this place is huge!” Joseph says once they’re at the football field of the school.
“Yeah, and there’s a pool! I’m trying out for the winter swim team soon.” Riley tells her dad, in a better mood since he didn’t bring his girlfriend.
“It’s really all free for them?” He asks Y/N.
“Mhm.” She nods. “Okay, here all your meal tickets. I have to bee-bop around since I’m technically working. Have fun with Dad.” She smiles and they lead Joseph off towards some of the rides and games.
Y/N meets up with her colleagues and mingles with some of the donors she hasn’t been able to meet yet. She meets back up with the kids later to go on a few rides, and then goes to get food with them. She spots Harry at the candied apples tent, and she goes over there.
“I knew you’d find me.” He smirks.
“I’ve got a sweet tooth, what can I say?” She shrugs.
“You know, me too. Major sweet tooth.”
For whatever reason that makes her blush.
“Um, so I can I have it dipped in caramel and chocolate?”
“A woman after my own heart! I like mine the same way.” He picks up one of the apples from its stick and dips it in the chocolate first. “Any sprinkles or anything?”
“No, the sauces are fine, thank you.”
“So, where’s the-“
“Hi, Mr. Styles.” Riley says as she, Ben, and Joseph approach. “This is my dad.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Riley’s homeroom and biology teacher.” Harry hands you the apple once it’s done, and then shakes Joseph’s hand. “She’s a real pleasure to have in class.”
“So I’ve heard! Nice to hear it straight form the source, though.” There’s an awkward silence. “Um, well, kids do you want an apple?”
“Yeah!” Ben says and tells Harry what he wants.
Harry’s eyes catch Y/N biting into her apple, and how she licks around her lips. He looks a little too long because Joseph notices, and he clears his throat to snap Harry out of his trance.
“You two about ready to hit the road after this?” He asks them.
“Sure.” Riley shrugs. “Bye, Mr. Styles.”
“Have a good weekend, see you Monday.”
Y/N hugs both of the kids, and nods at Joseph.
“So…no kids this weekend?” Harry says to her.
“Nope. It’s funny, I always look forward to the little break, but by the time Sunday night hits I miss them.”
“Any plans?”
“Just relaxing. I’ll probably catch up on some sleep tomorrow. How about you?”
“A few of us are going to the pub after this…if you’d like to join, you’re welcome to.”
“Oh!” She says a little surprised. “Well, that would be great, actually. I haven’t really had time to explore some of the night life around here yet.”
“I could drive us from here if you like. I can always bring you back to your car.”
“You actually trust me to get into that fancy car of yours? I’m shocked.” She smirks, and he rolls his eyes.
“I apologized for that, didn’t I? Can we move on? Let me give you a ride later.”
“Alright.” She smiles. “Sounds like fun. It would be nice to get to know more people.”
“Great, I’ll find you later then?”
“Sounds good.” She walks away with her apple in hand, and he smiles.
After schmoozing with more alumni and donors, Y/N felt pooped. Did she really feel like going out and drinking? She could easily go home, draw herself a bath, and have a glass of fine all on her own. She had socially interacted so much today, and the thought of doing more was draining. Maybe she could go out with Harry another time. She tries looking around for him, but she’s not sure she spots him.
“Y/N!” She hears from behind her. “You ready?” Harry asks.
“About that…I think I’ve changed my mind…”
“How come?” He says with a slight frown.
“I was very social today, so I’m feeling a little tired. I don’t think I have enough pep in me for drinks tonight…but maybe another time?” She clasps her hands in front of her waist, feeling a little nervous all of a sudden.
“Oh, yeah, I definitely get that. Um, yeah, another time for sure.”
“Thanks, well, see you around, Harry.”
“See you…”
//
“Mum, we’re home!” Ben says Sunday evening as he and Riley come inside.
“Hey.” She smiles. “How was Dad’s?”
“Annoying.” Riley huffs. “I can’t stand Margaret. She, like, tries too hard to be our friends.”
“Mm, well, that’s what happens when a forty-year-old man decides to date a twenty-five-year-old woman. She probably knows how to babysit and be a pal.”
“Doesn’t it gross you out that he’s with someone so much younger?” Ben asks as he plops down on the couch.
“Of course it does. It won’t last long, unless she’s after his money.” She rolls her eyes. “I don’t know why, it’s not like we were living the high life before.”
“Ew, what if he gets her pregnant.” Riley says with disgust. “I don’t want another little sibling, one is plenty.”
“Yeah, and then we’d have to pretend like we’re happy for him. I’m glad we didn’t have to do two nights over there this weekend.”
“Me too.” Riley sighs. “Did you do anything this weekend?” She asks Y/N.
“I just relaxed. Caught up on some TV, nothing special.” She shrugs. “Did you get all your homework done?”
“Yes.” They say in unison.
“Alright, go get ready for bed then.”
Riley and Chris meet at their lockers the next day at school and talk about their weekends. They chat in homeroom about their upcoming biology test. Chris was feeling a little nervous, but Riley was feeling confident. She studied almost all day Sunday. When it was last period, and Harry gave out the tests, her eyes bugged out. She read all of the questions over, and it wasn’t at all what she thought. She looked up at Harry dumbfounded. He was typing away at his computer, answering emails. She walks up to his desk with the test.
“Done already?” He jokes with a whisper.
“Mr. Styles…I don’t know any of this.”
“What do you mean? I gave you a study guide.”
“I…I know you did, but I left it at my mom’s, and so I was going off memory…I think I studied the wrong chapters by accident or something.” Her eyes were about to well up with tears.
“Alright, step out into the hall with me. Did you take notes while you studied?”
“Yeah.”
“Grab them for me.”
He stands up and goes out to the hallway to wait for her. A few of the kids in class were watching, but they get back to their own tests. She hands him her notes, and he makes a few humming noises.
“Right, yeah, you studied the wrong chapters.”
“Ugh, I knew it! So…does this mean I fail?”
“No.” He sighs. “It was an honest mistake, you’ll have to take a makeup exam after school sometime this week, though.”
“I can do it tomorrow! I would just need tonight to study. I could study in class now.”
“Get the rest of your things, I can give you a pass to the library.”
“Thank you so much, Mr. Styles.”
“Don’t mention it.”
They both go back inside and she grabs the rest of her things. He writes her the pass and out the door she goes. Chris makes a motion for her to text him before she slips out, and she nods. Tuesday morning, just as Harry was sitting down at his desk with his coffee, he got an interoffice phone call from Y/N.
“Hello?” He answers, voice still deep from sleep.
“Hi, Harry, it’s Y/N.”
“I know…caller ID and all that.” He chuckles.
“Right, well, I wanted to say thank you for letting Riley take her test later this afternoon. She was a wreck last night when she got home.”
“It was an honest mistake. Plus, when I saw how much studying she did I knew I had to give her a chance to just take it later. Do you think she’s prepared enough for later?”
“Oh, definitely. She feels much better. Do you mind if Ben comes to sit in the classroom with her while she takes it? No sense in me zipping him home if she’s going to stay after.”
“Sure, I don’t mind.”
“You’re a life saver, thanks! Talk to you soon.”
“Bye-“ He’s cut off by the sound of the phone clicking on the other end.
Riley stays after class to take her test. Shortly after Ben shyly walks into the classroom and takes a seat. He does his own homework while she takes her test. Forty minutes later, Riley finishes her test, and hands it to Harry.
“I can grade it now if you like since it was all multiple choice.”
“That’d be great.” She smiles.
He looks at his answer key and checks off all her right answers. He writes 92% in big red ink and circles it.
“Well done. I can’t give it back to you until tomorrow, of course, but at least you can rest easy about it.”
“God, what a relief! Guess I’ll be a pro when we reach the chapters I already studied.”
“I bet you will be.”
“Do you mind if we hang out here until our mum’s done with work? She said she was just gonna pull up out front of the building.”
“Sure, I have some other grading to do anyways. In fact, would you like to help? It’s for another class, I could give you the answer key.”
“Yeah!”
Harry sets her up, and he even plays a little music for all of them.
“Mr. Styles?” A boy named Austin walks in. He was a sophomore in Riley’s class. “Thank god you’re still here.” He sighs.
“What’s up, Austin?”
“I was wondering if you graded my test yet? The football coach needs me to fill this progress report slip out. He’s making all of us do it.”
“Oh! Yeah, let me look. I can just tell you your overall grade. Have a seat, it’ll take me a minute.”
He nods and sits down, glancing at Riley briefly. She gives him a small smile and blushes.
“How come you’re here?” He asks her.
“Oh, I needed to make up the test from yesterday. I accidentally studied the wrong chapters.”
“Happens to the best of us.” He smirks. “You’re new to town, right?”
“Yeah.”
“You should come to the football game Friday, since it’s home.”
“Yeah, um, maybe I will.”
“Cool.”
“Alright, Austen, I’ve got your grade.”
He stands up and goes to Harry’s desk.
“Sick, a C+! That’s way better than I thought.”
“Let’s try to keep it that way, yeah?”
“I’ll do my best, thanks.” He walks out of the room and Riley puffs out some air.
“Don’t tell me you have a crush on that guy?” Ben chuckles.
“He’s so cute, I can’t help it. That’s the most he’s ever spoken to me, and now he wants me to go to the game. I have to go Friday, I need to text Chris.”
“If you go, can I go?”
“Sure.” She shrugs. “The more the merrier.”
Riley and Ben had always been close. They were practically best friends. They got a lot closer when their parents were going through the separation/divorce process, leaning on each other for a lot. Harry hear the sound of heels clacking on the floors outside the classroom, and there Y/N is appearing in the doorway looking lovelier than ever. She had a long coat on, synched at the waist, and her hair was down and wavy.
“Hi, kids, ready?” They both get up, and Harry stands as well. “Thanks for letting them hang out for a bit while I finished up.”
“It was no problem. Riley was pretty helpful to me with some grading.”
“How’d the test go?” She asks her daughter.
“Got a 92!”
“Amazing! I think that calls for takeout tonight.”
“You just don’t feel like cooking.” Ben chuckles.
“I’m sorry, are you complaining about getting Chinese food, or?”
“No! Just making an observation.”
“Mhm, okay, let’s go. Have a good night Mr. Styles.” She says to him.
“Same to you.”
On the ride home, Riley gets a text from Chris saying he’s down for the football game on Friday. She sighs with relief, and looks over her mother.
“So…can Ben and I meet up with Chris on Friday? We’d like to go to the football game.”
“A boy asked her to go!”
“Shut up, or you can’t come with me.”
“Hey!” Y/N says. “A boy asked you to go?”
“Well, sort of. He just said I should go if I wanted. I haven’t been to one yet, it could be fun. Chris said the snack bar is pretty stacked.”
“And you’ll keep an eye on your brother?”
“I’m only a year younger than her.” Ben scoffs.
“You’re in the eighth grade, that’s a big difference right now, even if it doesn’t feel like it. What time does the game start?”
“6:30, I think.”
“Sure, you can go. I think that’ll be good for you kids to go to.”
“Awesome, thanks Mum.”
//
“We’re gonna be there anyways, just ask her to tag along.” Niall says to Harry over lunch on Thursday.
“You make it seem like I wanna date her, I just think she’s cute.”
“Just ask her if she wants to go out with us after, would you?”
“Fine, I’ll give her a call right now.” Harry reaches for his phone, and looks up Y/N’s extension. She picks up on the second ring.
“Hey, Harry.”
“Hi, do you have a minute?”
“Sure! Is everything alright with Riley?”
“Yeah…this isn’t about her. It’s more of a personal matter.”
“Oh…what’s up?”
“Niall and I are chaperoning the football game tomorrow night. All of the faculty take turns doing it. We just walk around and make sure no one’s drinking underage. We were wondering if you’d like to join us. We’d be going to the pub after most likely too.”
“I don’t know if I should. Riley and Ben are going to the game, and I don’t want them to feel like I’m hovering around them, you know?”
Niall gestures for the phone and snatches it from Harry.
“Y/N? It’s Niall. Enough excuses, yeah? You’re coming out with us tomorrow night, and that’s final. You need to get more involved with student life.”
“I’m plenty involved!”
“You import and export donor data all day. I bet your kids won’t care.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Y/N did think about it, and then she asked Riley and Ben how they’d feel if she went. They said as long as she wasn’t up their butts they wouldn’t mind. It made things easier for her to drive them there at least. She watches as they meet up with Chris and essentially run off from her. She sighs and looks around for Niall and Harry, suddenly feeling like a loner.
“Oi, there she is!” Niall shouts, handing her a hot chocolate. “This should warm you up quick. You look cold.”
“I didn’t think it would be chilly enough for gloves.” She chuckles. “Thank you.”
“So, basically we just walk around, but we get to enjoy the game for the most part.” Harry explains.
“Is our team any good?”
“We’re decent, yeah. Think our lacrosse players are better to be honest, but they don’t get as much recognition.”
Y/N nods and takes a careful sip of her warm drink. She walks around with the guys, mostly listening to them talk in their accents. It was sort of fun to see all of the parents, staff, faculty, and students at the game cheering the team on.
“See that one, number 11?” Harry says to her, pointing towards the field. “That’s Austin, he asked Riley to come to the game. They’re in my bio class together. I think she likes him.”
“How can you tell?”
“I catch her looking at him from time to time. I might be wicked and assign them a project to work on together.”
“Teachers actually do that?!”
“Oh, sure.” Niall says. “I switch up the seating chart once a term just so I can pair people up. It’s pretty interesting to see what happens.”
“The students gossip to us all the time too.” Harry laughs. “They have no problem sharing personal information.”
“So…you think he might like Riley back?”
“I have no idea, he sits in front of her, and mostly just takes notes.”
“Is he nice?”
“He’s not a dolt if that’s what you’re asking. Definitely not your classic meathead, not to worry, Y/N.”
Y/N nods, and keeps walking around with the guys. The team wins, and everyone cheers. Riley, Ben, and Chris find her in the crowd of people near the exit.
“Mum, can we bowling?” Riley asks.
“With who?”
“Me, Miss Y/L/N.” Chris says and you raise your eyebrows. “Okay, and some of the cheerleaders and football players, but it’ll be fun! It’s cosmic bowling night. My dad said he could drive.”
“Please, Mum.” Ben pouts, and you roll your eyes.
“Alright.” She sighs, and takes her wallet out of her small sling bag. “Here’s some money, have fun. Home by ten, do you hear me? I’ll be out for a bit myself, just in case you get back before me.”
“Where are you going?” Riley asks.
“I’ve made some friends of my own.” She grins. “Go on, have fun.”
“Thank you!” They all say and head off.
“I can follow you both to the pub.” Y/N tells Niall and Harry, and they all walk to the parking lot.
She feels a little nervous going out with them. She had made a few friends so far, mostly her colleagues that she saw every day. There was this weird divide between faculty and staff, so she had noticed. So, Y/N wasn’t sure how welcomed she would be by the others they were meeting up with. She takes a deep breath before getting out of her car, and meeting Harry and Niall at entrance.
“You’re gonna love this place.” Harry says, putting a hand on her shoulder as they go inside. He leads her to a table where a few people were sitting already. “Oi, everyone, this is Y/N, she works in the development office.”
They all look at her and smile, saying hello. Niall takes his seat, and Harry has you sit between the two of them. Y/N learns the names of some other faculty members. Shane, Lora, and Jess. None of them had Y/N’s kids in class so she could rest easier. She found Harry and Niall to be hilarious, often almost choking on her drinks from laughter. She notices that Harry’s rolled his sleeves up, and can’t help but look at his tattoos. He explains a few of them to her. Around 10:05 she got a text from Riley.
Riley: just got in, thanks again for letting us go, it was amazing! When are you home??
Y/N: soon, baby, thanks for checking in
“Well, I should probably get going.” She says to Harry. “My kids just got home, and I don’t like leaving them alone too long when it’s late.”
“Fair enough, can I walk you to your car?” He says, leaning in a little bit. “Just so I know you left safely.”
“Sure, um, that’d be great.” She throws some bills on the table to take care of her tab. “Thank you all so much, I had a great time.”
“See ya, Y/N!” Niall says with a smile. She misses the wink he gives Harry, and Harry mouths ‘be cool’ at him.
“M’just gonna walk her to her car, I’ll be right back.” Harry says, addressing the group before heading out the door with Y/N. “You’re good to drive, right?” He says as they both walk outside.
“Of course, I only had, like, two drinks. You saw me nursing them.”
“Alright, just wanted to be sure.” He watches her fish for her keys out of her bag. “I’m glad you came out tonight.” He rubs the back of his neck. “You’re a lot of fun to be around.”
“Aw, thanks, you’re fun to be around too.” She smiles, biting her bottom lip. He can’t help but let his eyes drift to it.
“Are you in a rush to get home?”
“Well…I…”
“It’s not like they need you to tuck them in, right?”
“N-no…” She raises an eyebrow at him. “Are you…are you making a pass at me?” She was backed up against her car with him a comfortable foot away from her, but she was starting to feel warm.
“Maybe.” He shrugs, stepping a little closer. “Would you feel uncomfortable if I was?” She shakes her head no and swallows.
“Do you do this with all your students’ mums?” She smirks, gaining some confidence back.
“Well, considering that I was in a four year long relationship up until six months ago, I can confidentially say no.” She opens her mouth and smirks. “And no, I don’t usually do this with colleagues either.”
“So…why with me then?”
“You’re cute.” He grins.
“Harry, I…I’m not really looking for anything serious right now, I’ve just started a new job, I bought my own house, I’m juggling teenagers, I can’t start up a relationship.”
“I don’t think I asked you for that. In fact, I haven’t asked for anything, yet.” He says smugly. “M’not looking for anything serious either.”
“Alright, what do you want from me then?” He shifts his weight to his other hip, and just looks at her. Her eyes widen, and her mouth falls open. She looks around, and steps closer to him, barely any space between them now. “You…you want to have sex with me?”
“Why do you sound so surprised? I think you’ve really got it going on.”
“Seriously?”
“Sure, you really know how to fill out a pair of jeans. Your bum looked awfully cute at homecoming.”
“All this coming from the guy who was about ready to murder me for almost scratching his car.” She scoffs.
“I have apologized for that over and over, but clearly my words mean nothing to you…” He puts his hand on her shoulder. “Maybe there’s something else I could do to make it up to you.”
“You’re my kid’s teacher, Harry.”
“Not after 2PM I’m not. Right now I’m just a guy who wants to fuck you.”
“I can’t go back to your place with you right now.”
“My car’s got tinted windows and a spacious back seat.”
“How…how old are you, anyways? I mean, I’m thirty-three, Harry, and you’re a little baby faced. I’m not one of those people who-“
“I’m twenty-nine. Do you wanna go fuck in my car or not? It’s okay if you don’t, I’m not trying to pressure you, but it’s bloody cold out here and I wouldn’t mind warming up.”
Y/N hadn’t had sex with someone in since the last time her and Joseph had sex, which was a few years ago. She also couldn’t remember the last time she had sex in a car, probably when she was a teenager. Was she really about to do this with some she had just started to become decent friends with? Was this is the only reason he wanted to be friends with her?
“Is the only reason you’ve been wanting to invite me out? To get my pants off?”
“No! I genuinely think you’re nice to be around, but I also wouldn’t mind getting your pants off.” He smirks.
“Okay.” She nods. “Yeah, let’s do it.”
“Really?”
“Quickly, before I change my mind.” He grabs her by the wrist and tugs her towards his car. He unlocks his car and he lets her get in first. He reaches forward to turn the car on so the heat is on and there’s a little music playing. He goes to cup her cheek, and she backs away. “I’m a little nervous.”
“We don’t have to do anything crazy if you don’t want. We could just kiss if you like.”
“I just…it’s been a while for me, you know? Like, a long while, so…I want to, I’m just nervous.”
“How can I help you relax?”
“I guess…um…could I sit on your lap and maybe we could hug for a bit?”
“Sure.” He nods.
She moves to straddle him, and she wraps her arms around his neck. His go around her back, and he rubs her soothingly. He gets a good whiff of her perfume, and it makes him smile.
“Comfortable?” He asks softly. She hums her response and he holds her a little tighter. “I like whatever perfume you’re wearing.” He feels her giggle against him.
“It’s just apple spice.” She mutters into his neck, and moves to look at him. “Nothing special.”
“Well, I like it.” He tucks some hair behind her ear. “Would it be alright If I kissed you now?”
“Yeah.” She smiles.
He licks his lips and presses them to hers. Her eyes flutter closed and she tugs at his hair. His hands squeeze her hips as the kiss deepens. He sucks on her bottom lip, and it makes her whimper. She rolls her hips down on his and he grunts. He kisses sloppily from her mouth, to her jaw, and to her neck. He mouths at her neck, full well knowing he can’t leave a mark, but it doesn’t stop him from licking and sucking a little over the area. She tugs at his hair a little harder and continues grinding against him, feeling his bulge getting harder. His lips move back to hers as his hands roam up her front, hesitating before reaching her breasts. She takes his hands and puts them over her boobs, squeezing his hands over them. He takes over from there, kneading them as best he could over her coat.
She gets frustrated, and get shimmies her coat off. He’s happy to see her nipples peeking through her shirt. He moves to suck on it through the material and she gasps. Her chest was heaving when he came off and looked up at her. Her hands move to unbutton her jeans, and he wastes no time sticking his hand inside. Instead of smirking when he feels how wet she is, he presses his lips back to hers, loving knowing that he was turning her on this much. His fingers move along her folds, and he slips his middle finger inside her gently. He groans when he feels how tight she is.
“Christ, you weren’t kidding. Do you never use anything at home?”
“Who the fuck has the time?!” She huffs as he starts bringing his finger in and out. “M’too exhausted half the time, and even when they’re gone I just do something quick.” A moan leaves her lips when his thumb starts to circle around her clit. Her forehead presses against his, and her eyes pinch closed.
He gets his ring finger inside her as well, and he curls them both up. She moves back and forth on him, riding his fingers. She makes fists with his shirt, and she starts panting. He groans from watching her, and just from the way she feels. He pets against her g-spot, and his thumb works into her clit.
“Oh, oh my god.” She says, biting her bottom lip. “I…I think I’m gonna come.” He doesn’t let up on her, doing his best to get her there. Her whimpers and whines were just egging him on. “Oh, shit, oh, shit!” She cries out as she comes around his fingers. He works her through it, and then retracts his fingers, sucking on them while making eye contact with her.
“Well?” He smirks.
“Do you have any condoms?”
“Yeah, get your pants the rest of the way off.” He lifts her off of him and places her on the seat while he reaches forward into the console, and grabs a condom.
“Aren’t you a little old to be leaving condoms in your car?” She says as he slips her jeans and underwear off.
“Wouldn’t be able to fuck you if I didn’t, would I?” He winks, and undoes his belt and jeans. “Think you’ll be able to ride me reverse, or do you need to go missionary to ease you into it.”
“Don’t be an asshole, I know how to have sex, it’s just bene a while.”
“I wasn’t! I don’t wanna hurt you.” Her eyes widen as he pulls his hard dick from his boxers, rolling the condom on.
“You think you’re the first guy with a larger prick to fuck me? Think I can handle it.”
“Now who’s being the asshole?” He chuckles and grabs her to bring her back to his lap, her back pressed to his chest. He reaches around to rub on her to make sure she’s still wet. “You want this still?”
“Yeah.” She lifts her hips and he lines himself with her, pressing up into center. It’s a tight squeeze, like she thought it would be, but she does her best to relax around him. She nearly shrieks once she’s sat fully on him.
“I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.” He says into her ear before nibbling on her earlobe.
She hooks an arm around his head while he grips her hips, and her head falls back to his shoulder. He thrusts up into her while rubbing on her clit, and her mouth falls open. She hadn’t felt this good in a long time, this was incredible. She tugs on his hair and helps herself move on him so he doesn’t have to do as much work. He frees up one of his hands to grip and squeeze one of her breasts. She looks up at him and yanks his head down to hers. She licks into his mouth and he moans into her. He sucks on her tongue and her eyes roll back. Between that, his fingers on her slit, and his dick fucking up into her, she was about ready to lose it again. She pants into his mouth as she comes again. He thrusts begin to get sloppy, and then he’s spilling into the condom. They sit there for a moment catching their breaths before she moves off him.
They both get dressed, and Harry throws the condom into a nearby trashcan as he walks her back to her car. Her face was flushed, and she for sure looked like a mess, but she felt good. He cups her cheeks and backs her up against the driver’s side door, kissing her tenderly.
“That was fun.” He says.
“Yeah.” She breathes and looks down at her watch. It was already 11:30. “Shit, I really need to get home. Ben gets worried when I’m out late.”
“Sweet kid.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Well, get home safe and all that.”
“You too.” She smiles and opens her car door. He closes it for her once she’s inside, and she starts the car.
As Y/N drives home it starts to hit her what she just did. She just fucked her child’s biology teacher, who she also happens to technically work with. Never in her life had she done something like this. Maybe in her younger days she would have done something this rebellious, but she had grown up a lot, and she was a professional now. She takes a deep breath before keying into her home. She sighs when she sees the light from the TV coming from the living room. Riley and Ben were passed out on the couch.
“Hey, kids.” She coos. “Wake up, I’m home.”
“Mum?” Ben says sleepily. “Where were you?”
“I…I was out with friends, remember? Um, let’s get you both into bed.”
She turns the TV off as they both slowly make their way upstairs to their bedrooms. Once they’re both in their beds, she goes into her own room, and gasps once she gets a good look at herself in the mirror. Her makeup was smeared, and her hair was a mess.
“Christ, Y/N, what did you do?” She says to herself and sighs.
//
The next day, Y/N was walking around like she had a stick up her ass. Maybe her body wasn’t quite ready for someone of Harry’s size. Nevertheless, she had to get up and start her day. She got some laundry going, did some dusting, and then made some breakfast for the kids. They both come into the kitchen around 10.
“Can you both put your sheets in the laundry room for me? I’m doing a linen load in a bit.” They both nod as she puts two plates of eggs in front of them. “How was bowling?”
“So much fun!” Riley says. “I actually got a strike, I couldn’t believe it.”
“You did?! How’d you manage that?”
“Um…Austin helped me, you know the one in my bio class? He’s really nice.”
“Riley, I’m happy for you and all, but I don’t know if I want you dating yet.”
“I’m not dating anyone! At least I wasn’t the one who stayed out until nearly midnight doing god knows what.”
“I’m an adult, I can do what I want, that’s one. Two, if you and this boy decide you really like each other, I think it’s only fair I get to meet him.”
“Just because he helped me bowl a ball doesn’t mean anything.” She rolls her eyes.
“What about you, did you have fun?” Y/N sighs as she asks Ben.
“Yeah, I hung out in the arcade, it was sick.”
Just as she was sipping on her coffee, Y/N’s phone goes off. It was in front of Riley and Ben, and Riley furrows her brows.
“Who is it?” Y/N asks.
“Um…Mr. Styles. Why is he calling you?”
“I…I have no idea.” She snatches her phone quickly. “H-hello?”
“Hey, Y/N! Just wanted to see how you were.”
“I’m alright, um, I’m in the kitchen with the kids, could you just give me a second?” She leaves the room and goes down the hall to her home office. “Okay…um, how are you?”
“Oh, I’m fine. I just didn’t wanna be a dick and not call.”
“Well, that’s nice of you.” She blinks a few times.
“So…you feel okay about everything?”
“Yeah! Wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t. Little sore, but other than I’m good.” She chuckles slightly and so does he.
“Well, next time I can be a little gentler…if you’d like there to be a next time, that is.”
“You…you don’t want last night to just have been a one-time thing?”
“Not necessarily, I had a good time with you, and I think you had a good time with me.”
“I just…I don’t know how smart it would be to start something up with my kid’s teacher.”
“Well, you already sort of did…”
“Yes, but I think to continue it would be stupid. I don’t want to do anything that could potentially embarrass her. Riley and Ben are really starting to make friends. They were cool about moving here for me, so I want to be-“
“It’s not like we’re dating, Y/N. No one has to know.”
“As if you haven’t told Niall yet.” She scoffs.
“I mean he was curious as to why I didn’t come back to the bar last night, but I didn’t give him the full details. He knows how to keep things to himself.” He pauses for a moment. “Look, I get it, you’re just trying to be a good mum, I can admire that. But after a certain point you need to remember that it’s okay to do things for yourself.”
“Like fuck a guy in a parking lot?”
“Exactly!” He laughs. “You’re still so young, why not let yourself have some fun?
“Harry…”
“All I’m saying is, if you’re ever lonely, or if you can’t sleep…you can call me.”
“I’ll…I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”
“Well, I’ll let you get back to them. Probably wondering what we’re talking about.”
“Yeah.”
“Have a good rest of your weekend.”
“You too.”
She hangs up, completely shocked by the conversation she just had with Harry. She goes back out to the kitchen where the kids were waiting with raised eyebrows.
“What did Mr. Styles want?” Riley asks.
“Oh, um, someone left their wallet at the restaurant we all went to last night, that’s all. He was trying to figure out who it belongs to.”
“There was no ID in it?” Ben asks.
“Apparently not.” Y/N shrugs.
//
At first, Y/N wasn’t sure if she wanted to take Harry up on his offer. She genuinely didn’t want to make things difficult for Riley. When mid-November rolled around, it was time for parent-teacher conferences. These were the more serious one on one meetings before the holiday season to make sure students would be able to pass all of their classes. More often than not Y/N found herself meeting with Ben’s teachers than with Riley’s, but Y/N wanted to check in with everyone to make sure her kids were acclimating to the new school fine. What she wasn’t expecting was for Joseph to want to come to the conferences as well. She got away with blushing a little when they saw Niall. He didn’t make anything awkward, but it was when they made their way to Harry’s room that she was starting to feel like she wanted to vomit. The door swings open and two people walk out. Harry steps out and looks into the hallway, smiling when he sees you, then frowning when he sees Joseph.
“Mr. Davidson! How nice to see you again, please come in.” Harry says, gesturing to step inside. “Hi, Y/N.”
“Hi, Harry.”
“You can call me Joseph.” Joseph says as he sits down and Harry nods.
Harry and Y/N make eye contact briefly, and then he clears his throat.
“Well, I’m not sure why Riley signed you both up.” Harry chuckles. “She’s doing exceptionally well, and not just in my class. She’s a bright girl.” He takes out a few of her lab reports. “The first semester tends to be easier since we’re learning more about plants and those types of organism. Next semester we get into zoology and human anatomy. I always make it known there’s study groups and after school help. I try to make it as engaging and fun as I can. We even play a few rounds of operation.”
This makes you smile as Joseph furrows his brows at Riley’s lab reports. He nods along with what Harry is saying.
“I’m glad she’s doing so well. She was sort of a big fish in a small pond at her last school.” Joseph says. “I was a little worried she’d feel overwhelmed. This transition for them was really abrupt.”
“They had most of the summer to get used to things.” Y/N says, rolling her eyes. “This isn’t a snotty school either, the teacher’s actually help the students succeed.”
“I’m just saying-“
“Listen.” Harry cuts in. “Seems like you two might have some things to discuss that don’t really involve me. Riley’s doing great, and Niall tells me Ben’s doing just as great. Nothing really more to it.”
Joseph nearly had a decade on Harry, but Harry owned this room. Having Joseph be put in his place definitely did something for Y/N. She can’t help but smirk as Joseph sits up straight.
“Yes, well…thank you. We’ll make sure to relay the message to them.” He says and Harry nods. Joseph stands up, as does Y/N.
“Y/N, did you happen to drive separately? An alum emailed me today, and I have a couple of questions about our donation site.”
“Oh! Sure, I can stay a few moments.” She looks a Joseph. He stands there for a moment, looking between the two of them.
“Goodnight.” He says, and out the door he goes.
“So…what’s your question?”
“I didn’t actually have one.” Harry smirks at her and she blushes.
“Oh.”
“You seemed uncomfortable with him here.”
“I don’t exactly enjoy his company anymore.” She sits slightly on his desk.
“I know, shit like that is just awkward. Francie and I still have some mutual friends, and we’ve had to be at a few of the same parties since the breakup.”
“Can I ask…I mean, you said you were together for four years and engaged…what happened?”
“Why don’t we have this conversation over drinks?” He stands up, grabbing his keys and jacket.
“Harry…it’s a school night.”
“And? It’s only seven. Not like we’re gonna be out all night are we?”
“I have two kids at home.”
“You have two teenagers at home. Come on, just one drink and I’ll tell you everything.”
“And then what?”
“Whatever you want.” He winks and leads you out the door.
//
Y/N texted the kids to let them know she was just grabbing a quick bite, and that she was very proud of their hard work. She followed Harry to a pub, and they grab a booth inside. They each order a drink and munch on some popcorn.
“Alright.” He sighs. “So I was with Francie for four years, and we were engaged for all of five months. It was working out great, we were living together, had a couple of pets, you name it. She works for this tech company, right? So, she got promoted, which was great, but it would have involved her to start traveling a lot, and eventually moving to New York. I didn’t want to move, and she didn’t want to do long distance.”
“Why didn’t you want to move? You could have found another school to work at…”
“It was the principal of the thing! She didn’t even ask, she just expected it, like her job was more important than mine. We started arguing more and more, and when I asked her why we couldn’t just try long distance she said that would make things difficult to start a family, and I said we already had a family, and that opened up a can of worms. She wanted kids and I didn’t. After that we ended it. She took our dog and cat, and left.”
“She took the pets?!”
“Yup! Left me the ring though.” He scoffs.
“Wait…so you don’t want kids?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I love kids, I love babies especially. But…I just don’t see myself being a dad.” He shrugs. “It’s a lot of responsibility, a lot of money too. I don’t know if I could take care of someone else. And maybe…when she said it…I had this thought of if I did want kids I wasn’t sure if wanted her to be the mother of them.”
“It took you that long to have that kind of conversation?”
“What about you? Did you and your ex have a proper discussion about it?”
“No, he knocked me up, proposed later that year, and we got married in a courthouse while I was seven months pregnant.” She finishes her drink. “Just like a fairytale. Then when he promised we could have a real wedding, I got pregnant with Ben, and all that money went to him. S’alright, though, it would have been a waste of money.”
“Can I ask why you got divorced?”
“Well, the age difference was one thing. He’s seven years older than me, which may not seem like much, but it was. I felt like I couldn’t talk to him sometimes. Then he decided to cheat on me with some other young thing, so we went from separated to divorced real quick.”
“I’m so sorry.” He frowns slightly.
“Don’t be, it was a while ago. I think things worked out for the best. We’re all doing better now.”
“I think it’s admirable that you’ve turned your life around the way you have.”
“Thanks.” She smiles and he finishes off his drink. Once they pay their tab they head out. “I think it’s too cold to do what we did last time.”
“And I couldn’t persuade you to come back to my place for a bit?”
She looks down at her watch and sees it’s already 8:30. She sighs, biting her bottom lip.
“I…I want to, and if I didn’t have two kids at home waiting for me I would. Maybe…maybe you should find someone else to be your little fuck buddy. I’m not easy to be with.”
“Maybe that’s what I like about you.” He says, leaning forward so his lips brush yours, kissing you quickly before backing away. “Have a good night, Y/N.”
She groans once she’s in the car. When she gets home both Riley and Ben are in their rooms unwinding. She says hello and goes to her own room to get ready for bed. Y/N wonders what she would have done with Harry at his place. How he would have touched her and kissed her all over. She sighs and gets into bed, aggravated as fuck.
//
It was Thanksgiving weekend when Y/N took her next shot with Harry. The kids spent Thanksgiving day with her, and they had the rest of the weekend to be with Joseph. When Saturday night rolled around she was bored and lonely, so she called him.
“Hi, Harry.”
“Hi, Y/N. Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?”
“I did…although, I have way too many leftovers.”
“You don’t say?”
“Yeah! Um, you wouldn’t happen to be hungry, would you?”
“Starved.”
“Great, well, if you’d like to come over you can.”
“I can be there within the house. Just text me your address.”
He had assumed Riley and Ben weren’t home. He needed to take a quick shower before coming to see her, and she needed to do the same. She wanted to be as fresh as possible for him. When she heard the doorbell, she raced down the stairs to open it.
“So, I can heat up whatever-mph!” He had gripped her cheeks and pulled her into him, kissing her passionately.
“I didn’t actually come here to eat.” He breathes. “Well, I did…but not food.” He smirks and lifts her up. She wraps her legs around his waist and kisses on his neck as he carries her upstairs. “Where’s your bedroom?”
“Last door on the right.” She mumbles into his hot skin.
He gets her in the bedroom, and sets her down. He starts taking his clothes off, and she does the same. He knees onto the bed to hover over her, and he kisses her, sucking on her bottom lip.
“Glad you finally called me for this.” He says as he licks around her nipple.
“You could have called me.”
“Didn’t want to look any more desperate.”
He nips at her stomach as he works his way down, giving her little to no warning before he licks into her. She gasps, gripping onto his hair. She bites her bottom lip as she feels his warm tongue lapping away at her. He sucks on her clit and slips two fingers inside her.
“When was the last time someone made you feel this good, hm? When was the last time someone made you this wet?”
“Wh-whenever the first time we hooked up was.” She whimpers.
“And before that?” He kitten licks at her clit now.
“God, I have no idea!” She moans out as his fingers pet inside her against her g-spot. He struggles to get a third finger in, so he doesn’t bother.
“Tighter than a fucking finger trap you know that?”
“I told you, I don’t make time to-oh!”
He started sucking on her clit again, and pumping his fingers quickly. She was squirming underneath him, panting and moaning loudly. She cries out as she comes, and he pumps his fingers slowly as her hips move along with his motions.
“Condoms?” He asks when he pops up.
“You don’t me to, um…?”
“Another time, I don’t think I’d last very long if you sucked on me.” He had been rutting himself against the mattress. She nods and reaches into her bedside drawer for a condom she toss it to him and watches as he rolls it on. “Roll over.”
She does as he says, and gets on her elbows and knees for him. He grips her hips, and lines himself up with her, pushing inside. It’s a tight squeeze, but he gets in no problem. They both moan out from the feeling. He reaches around to rub her clit, and she collapses onto the bed.
“God, just do what you want with me, Harry.” She grunts, and he moans from behind her.
“You’re so fucking sexy, you have no idea. Come for me, Y/N, come on.”
She cries out into her pillow, and he spills into the condom. Somehow after they both got cleaned up they ended up back in bed together. Harry through his arm around Y/N and pulled her to his chest.
“What are you doing?” She giggles.
“Cuddling you.”
“Why?”
“Because I feel like it.”
She laughs, but doesn’t fight him on it. Then…they fell asleep. It was a total accident, Harry never intended to spend the night. He just wanted to cuddle for a bit before heading out. He was more tired than he thought, and so was she. She nudges him awake.
“Shit, I’m sorry.” He says, knuckling at his eyes.
“It’s okay. Would you like to take a shower with me?”
“I would.” He smiles and gets up with her.
It was the dirtiest shower she had ever taken. He had gotten on his knees to eat her out, and then he lifted her up, fucking her into the bathroom tile wall. She left many scratch marks on his back, and then he came on her stomach. They got cleaned up for real after that, and headed downstairs for some coffee. Just as she was about to offer him some breakfast, she heard the front door open.
“Oh my god!” She whisper screams. “They’re not supposed to be back until later!”
“Be cool, Y/N.” Harry says.
“But-“
“Mum, we’re…Mr. Styles?” Riley says as she comes in with Ben. “What…what’s going on?”
“I should ask you the same. Why’s your father bring you back so soon?”
“We asked if he could.” Ben says. “Can only handle so much of his girlfriend.”
“So…Mr. Styles, um, no offense, but what are you doing here?”
“Well, your mum just so happens to be one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. She had all these leftovers and asked me if I’d like any, and I said yes. I may be a Brit, but I love Thanksgiving dishes. So I came right over. Just got here a couple minutes before you did.”
“Yeah, I was just about to pull the food out. Why don’t you two go put your things away?”
Riley furrows her brows, but shrugs it off, and goes with Ben upstairs.
“You’re quick on your feet.”
“Wasn’t a total lie.” Harry says, finishing his coffee. “I better get going.” She walks him to the front door, and he gives her a sneaky kiss along with a bum squeeze. “See you soon, I hope.”
“Definitely.” She smiles. “Bye.” She opens the door for him and out he goes. She sighs happily, and goes into the kitchen to make a little breakfast.
//
Riley was a little suspicious after that morning. She spent most mornings in homeroom analyzing Harry’s features. He was his usual chipper self, but there was certainly an extra pep in his step. Then in biology it was the same thing.
“Riley?” Austin was standing in front of her desk, snapping her out of her thoughts.
“Oh, hey.” She smiles. “What’s up?”
“Are you free this Friday?”
“I…I think so.”
“Would you wanna go to the movies?” He runs a hand through his hair and she swallows.
“This is gonna sound really lame, but I need to ask my mom first.”
He chuckles slightly at that.
“No worries, let me know if she says yes.”
“I will.” Austin goes to his seat, and Riley looks at Chris who was giving her a thumbs up.
“Alright, if we could all settle down?” Harry says. “Today we’re going over fungi cells so I need all of your attention on me.”
Harry liked attention in general, probably one of the reasons he wanted to be a teacher in the first place. He just happened to also enjoy biology and he was good at explaining it to the youths. During class Riley felt her phone buzz, and saw she had a text from Ben.
Ben: reminder that I have a doctor’s appointment, so you have to wait after school for Mum to come get you
Riley: okay thanks, I’ll just go to the library to wait for her
“Riley!” She snaps her eyes up at the harsh tone from her teacher. “Is that your phone?”
“Y-yes…I’m sorry, Mr. Styles, my brother-“
“I don’t care.” He shakes his head. “You know the policy.” He gestures for her to give it to him.
“But he was just-“
“Is it an emergency?”
“No.”
“Alright then, give it here.” Everyone was looking at her, and it made her face flush. She gets up and walks towards him to hand over her phone. He takes it puts it in his desk drawer. “You can have it back after class.”
She nods, and goes back to her seat. After class she walks out, completely forgetting she had her phone taken away. She gets settled in the library, and gets some homework done. She was there for over an hour until Y/N showed up in a huff.
“Riley Davidson, I’ve been calling you for fifteen minutes!”
“Mum, be quiet!”
“If your brother hadn’t told me you were in the library I never would have found you. Where the hell is your phone?”
“It’s…oh shit.” She says as she packs up.
“What?”
“I forgot that Mr. Styles took it from me.”
“He what?!”
“Ben texted me while I was in class, and I texted back. He caught me, and took it away from me. It’s the policy.”
“I don’t give a fuck, that’s your property. Come on, hopefully he’s still here.”
He was. When they walk in, he was writing something on the whiteboard, furrowing his eyebrows. Looked like it was a chemistry equation. Y/N clears her throat to get his attention.
“Oh, hello ladies.”
“Where do you get off taking my daughter’s phone?”
“Oh! I completely forgot about that. You left right after class, Riley.” Harry goes into his desk and grabs the phone. “Here you are.”
“Thanks.” She says as she swipes through to check any notifications she may have missed.
“It’s the policy, Y/N.”
“What if I got in a car accident and someone needed to reach her? Then what?”
“Did that happen?” He crosses his arms.
“No, but it could have.”
“But it didn’t. There’s no texting in class, no phone use of any kind, actually.”
“Mum, it’s fine, we can-“
“Excuse me, but that’s her property. If I need to get in touch with her, or if her brother does, then she should be able to send a quick text. It’s not like she was scrolling through Instagram.”
“But she could have been.”
“But she wasn’t!”
“Maybe you should hover over a little less, hm? Kids rely on their phones so much because their parents are constantly trying to see what they’re up to.”
Y/N takes her keys out from her purse, and hands them to Riley.
“I’m parked out front, go start the car for me. I’ll be just be another minute.” Riley nods and leaves quickly, knowing how bad it can be to be scolded by her mother. She certainly didn’t want to watch her favorite teacher get bitched out. “You don’t have kids, so I wouldn’t expect you to understand-“
“I have dozens of kids, actually. Ones that come to see me to talk to me about their problems, I’m also always studying trends of the today’s students, so don’t stand there and-“
“Do not interrupt me when I’m speaking.” She says firmly, and he closes his mouth. “You may speak when I’m finished, Mr. Styles. I’m a single mom doing my best for my kids. I will not be lectured in front of my daughter about being a helicopter parents because I’m not. However, I’m doing the job of two while my ex gets to be a weekend dad, who my kids don’t even want to see. It’s my fault Ben texted her at the time he did, alright? I asked him to remind her that I wouldn’t be picking her up until later because I had to take him to a doctor’s appointment.”
“May I?” She gestures that he can speak. “She didn’t need to text him back right then. It’s the school policy to take a phone away if we see it out, I was just doing my job.”
“Well, you should have remembered you took it so you could have given it back to her! I was sitting in the car for nearly twenty minutes waiting for her, I was starting to get worried.” Y/N pouts, and even though this was a very serious matter, Harry couldn’t help notice the blood starting to flow right to his prick.
“I’m very sorry about that.” He puts his hand on her shoulder, and she glances at it before looking at him. “I take ownership for that mistake. I feel terrible that I even caused an ounce of worry. If there’s anything I can do to make it better, please let me know.” His tone was condescending and seductive all at the same time.
She places her hand on his and removes it from her shoulder.
“Have a nice evening.” She says.
“Same to you.” He smirks.
Y/N makes her way to her car, and sighs heavily once she’s in there with Riley.
“Please don’t tell me you just yelled at him. He’s my favorite teacher, Mum.”
“No, we had a very adult conversation, and he apologized for not giving you back your phone when he should have after class.”
“I guess I could’ve waited to text Ben back. I’m sorry I caused all this.”
“It’s not your fault, honey, it’s fine.” She smiles at her daughter and they make their way home.
“I…I was asked to the movies this Friday, can I go?”
“With who?”
“Austin.”
“I’d like him to come to the house first so I can meet him properly. You’ve been hanging out in groups with him. Would this be one on one?”
“I think so. I can ask him if he minds coming inside first before we go.”
“That would be great.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Are you…are you and Mr. Styles, like, seeing each other?”
“What would ever give you that idea?!”
“I just think it’s weird that he was at our house.”
“We’ve become friends, you know I hang out with him and Mr. Horan sometimes.”
“Yeah, but Mr. Horan wasn’t there. It was just you and Mr. Styles, and you both had wet hair.”
“I had showered before he swung by, he must have done the same.” Y/N shrugs. “We’re just friends, honey, nothing more.”
“Okay.”
Y/N could tell Riley didn’t quite believe her, but she knew her daughter wouldn’t press her on it more for now. Not if she wanted to go to the movies with Austin.
//
“It’s nice to meet you, uh-“
“You can just call me Miss Y/L/N, it’s nice to meet you too, Austin.” Y/N smiles. They were all standing in the front hall. “So…it’s just you two going to the movies?”
“That’s the plan.” He says with an innocent smile.
“Have her home by 10:30, please.”
“Can do.”
“Thanks, Mum.”
“Have fun.” She sighs and turns around to Ben. “What about you? No plans?”
“Not tonight. I was just gonna play video games.”
“Well, if you’d like to have a friend over-“ Her cell phone goes off and she furrows her brows. “One second, sweetie.” She goes into the kitchen for some more privacy. “Harry?”
“Hey, what are you up to tonight?”
“Hanging out with my son…why?”
“Oh, they’re not with their dad this weekend?”
“No, they were with him last weekend.” She sighs.
“Damn.”
“Why?”
“Well, Niall and a few other people were gonna go to this place where you can throw axes, and we thought you’d like to come.”
“That sounds like…fun? Um, but I can’t just leave Ben here alone. I’d feel terrible since Riley’s out.”
“Hey, Mum?”
“Honey, I’m on the phone.”
“I know, sorry, Kyle just texted me and asked me if I wanted to sleep over. I know it’s last minute, but-“
“You can go! You can definitely go, I’ll even drop you off.”
“You’re the best! I’m gonna go pack up my stuff.” Ben races out of the kitchen.
“Guess that just solved itself.” Harry says.
“Guess so.”
“Let me come pick you up. Text me when you get back from dropping him off, yeah?”
“Alright.”
Y/N gets herself ready, and then drives Ben to Kyle’s house for his sleepover.
“Why do you look so nice?” He asks on the way there.
“Well, I made plans with my own friends since you and Riley are out. Is that okay?” She chuckles.
“S’fine.” He shrugs. “Feel like you’ve been going out a lot lately. Are you, like, dating?”
“No, baby, I’m not dating. But I am making good friends, which has been nice. I didn’t have many friends back in our old town. Too many judgey moms.” She pulls up to Kyle’s house. “Have a great time, call me if you need me.”
“I will, thanks!”
She watches Ben go inside, and then she makes her way back home to wait for Harry. She liked his car a lot, and it would be nice to actually go for a drive in it, instead of just riding him in it. Y/N was shocked when she heard the doorbell.
“You didn’t have to come to the door.” She says as she steps outside.
“Sure I did. I may be just trying to fuck, but I’m a gentleman at the end of the day.” He smirks as he opens the car door for her. She rolls her eyes at him, and climbs in.
“This really is a nice car.” She says as she looks around.
“Saved up a long time for it.” He places his hand on her thigh as he backs out of the driveway, and he keeps it there.
“So, an axe throwing place?”
“It’s all the rage right now. You can drink and throw axes, it’s pretty cool. I’ve been once before it’s a hoot.” He chuckles and squeezes her thigh slightly. “I’m glad you were able to get out for a bit.”
“Me too.”
She lets him keep his hand on her leg for the entire ride as they chat over the music. He parks the car, and gets out, jogging around to the other side to open the door for her. She smiles at him, and they both head inside. He even gets them their drinks from the bar. It was starting to feel like a date, especially when she only saw Niall with one other person, some woman she had yet to meet.
“Y/N, this is my girlfriend Anna.” Niall says.
“It’s nice to meet you.” Y/N says to her. Harry comes over and hands her a drink. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it. We all set?” He asks Niall.
“Yeah, we all just need to sign the release forms.”
They all sign and are brought over to the axe throwing area. They’re told how to do it, and they get going. Harry and Niall go first, and of course their axes stick. Y/N takes a deep breath, and throws her, but it doesn’t stick.
“That’s alright, give it another go.” Harry encourages her.
“I…I don’t think I threw it quite right.” She says to him.
“Would you like some help?” She nods yes at him and he steps closer to her, putting his hand on her back. “You need to release from this point, okay? Give it all you got.” He steps back and lets her throw it. It sticks and she squeals, turning to hug him. “I knew you could do it!”
Anna hits her target as well. The four of them were having a great time. Once their time is up, they all grab table for food. Y/N checks her phone, it was just about nine. No texts from the kids. She hoped Riley was having a nice time on her date, and that Austin was being respectful during their movie.
“Miss?” The waitress says to her.
“Huh? Oh, I’m sorry. Um…” She looks at the menu and then to Harry. Everyone else had clearly ordered.
“She’ll have the same as me, thanks, love.” Harry hands the waitress the menus and then looks at Y/N. “You like turkey burgers, right?”
“Yeah, sorry about that. My daughter’s on her first date, and I was just checking my phone to see if she had text me or anything.”
“You have a daughter that’s old enough to date?!” Anna says, shocked. “What’s your secret, girl? You look fantastic!” She laughs, and so does everyone else.
“I was a young mum, nothing more than that.” Y/N chuckles. “She’s only fourteen, a freshman out with a sophomore boy from her biology class. It’s cute, really, he’s on the football team and she’s been to a few of his games. They’ve been hanging out in groups, but tonight is the first one on one.” She takes a sip of her drink. “Listen to me, it sounds like I’m recapping an episode of The Bachelor.”
“Do you have any other kids, or just the one?” Anna asks.
“I have a son, Ben, he’s thirteen. Niall’s his teacher actually.”
“Yup, great kid. Harry has Y/N’s daughter in class too.” Niall tells her.
“Is that how you two met?” Anna asks, and you smirk.
“No, actually, the three of us met because I parked too close to Harry’s precious car in the staff lot. I work in our development office.” She sips her drink smirking at Harry who had slumped in the booth. “He yelled at me, it was quite the meet cute.”
“Yikes, I’ve never seen Harry yell before.” Anna says. “You’re usually so calm.”
“I’ve had that car for two years, not a scratch on it, and I’d like to keep it that way.” Harry says. “It’s all water under the bridge now.” He puts his arm around Y/N, smiling down at her.
There’s more talking during the meal. Y/N really liked the turkey burger Harry had ordered for her. Everyone was laughing and having a good time. It was about ten, and Y/N wanted to get home before Riley like a responsible adult. She tells Harry this, and he nods.
“It was really nice meeting you, Anna.” Y/N tells her again.
“Same to you, have a nice night.” They all part ways in the parking lot. “Oh, I like her so much better than Francie already.” She tells Niall.
“Me too.” Niall sighs. “But you know they’re not really dating.”
“I know, I know, but this was a very nice glimpse for them to see what a date could be like. They were so cute with each other.”
“I agree, I just think Harry’s still on the rebound. I also don’t think he’s mature enough to be dating a woman with two teenagers. Little kids maybe, but teenagers? That’s a lot to take on. Besides, what if he wants kids? Y/N’s in her early thirties, she probably wouldn’t want more.”
“Isn’t that what Harry and Francie broke up over? She wanted kids and he didn’t.” Anna shrugs. “Let them figure it out.”
Y/N and Harry were parked in her driveway making out. The damn console was in the way, but he was still able to get his tongue into her mouth. Her hands were in his hair, tugging him closer to her even though she knew she needed to get out of the car.
“Harry.” She breathes as he starts kissing on her neck. “I…I need to go inside. I can’t be out here like this when Riley gets home.” She gasps when she feels his teeth nip at her skin, and then he pulls away, almost glaring at her.
“Man, nothing to kill a hard on more than a mention of a student’s name.” He huffs.
“I told you…this might be easier for you if you wanted to fuck someone without kids.”
“Well, I’m kinda hooked on you now, so I can’t do that.” His thumb brushes her bottom lip as he cups her cheek. He leans in to kiss her again. “Do you think we could get together tomorrow since it seems like we can’t fool around tonight?”
“Sure, I have some errands I need to run anyways, so I can add you to the list.” She winks. “I’ll text you.”
“Alright, sounds good.” He chuckles. “I had a lot of fun tonight.”
“So did I, goodnight.” She smiles and hops out of the car. She quickly gets herself inside.
Harry backs out of the driveway just as Austin pulls up with Riley.
“Whoa, who do you know with a range rover?” Austin asks.
“That’s…Mr. Styles’ car.” She swallows as she watches him drive away. “He’s friends with my mom. She texted me saying she was seeing some friends tonight, I guess he drove her.”
“Cool.” Austin says. “I’ll walk you to your door.” He does so, and they linger there for a moment. They hug each other, and he gives her a kiss on the cheek. “Can we do this again sometime?”
“I’d like that.” She smiles.
“Great, well, have a good night.”
“You too. Thanks again.” Her heart soars as she goes inside. She finds Y/N sitting on the couch watching TV.
“How was the movie?”
“Really funny.” Riley plops down next to her. “Where’s Ben?”
“Sleeping at Kyle’s.”
“Oh, nice. So…where did you go tonight?”
“To this axe throwing place. It was fun, look.” She takes her phone and shows Riley a video of her throwing an axe and it sticking to the wooden target.
“Cool! You went there with Mr. Styles?”
“Mhm, and Mr. Horan and his girlfriend Anna.”
“Oh my god, Mum.” Riley gasps. “You went on a double date!”
“I did not.” Y/N scoffs.
“Did Mr. Styles pay for anything?”
“Well…yeah, he did, but he said it was just easier.” Riley gives her a look. “What?”
“Mum, he definitely was making a move!”
“And what do you know about moves, hm?”
“Apparently more than you. You two should go out one on one and see how it goes.”
“I’ve done that with him before.” Y/N shrugs. “We’re just friends, Riley.”
“He drove you tonight, right? I saw him pulling out of the driveway when I got home.”
“He offered to drive, yeah, and I accepted. He’s got a really nice car, thought it would be fun to go for a ride in it.” Y/N blushes slightly, annoyed at her own innuendo. “I’m not dating your teacher, don’t worry.”
“I wouldn’t hate it.” Riley shrugs. “You deserve to have someone, Mum. Dad’s out there with miss thing living what he perceives as his best life, you should do the same.”
“I don’t want to be in a relationship right now.” Y/N sighs. “I don’t have time for it. If Ben hadn’t gone to Kyle’s I wouldn’t have been able to go out tonight.”
“He can stay at home by himself.”
“But I would have felt bad about it. I like being home when you guys are home.”
“We’re not babies, that’s all I’m saying.” She twiddles her thumbs. “Plus, he’s super cute, so-“
“Riley!” Y/N chuckles and throws a pillow at her. “Don’t talk about your teacher like that.”
“He is! I don’t have a crush on him, but anyone with eyes can see how cute he is, Mum.”
“I’ll agree with that, he’s very cute.” She yawns. “Well, now that you’re home I’m gonna go up to bed. Was Austin respectful and all that tonight?”
“Very.” Riley smiles. “He asked me if I wanted to do it again sometime. I’m excited about him.”
“It’s a nice feeling, huh?”
“Yeah.”
Y/N hoped the feeling would never fade for her daughter because she knew all too well how it felt when it does.
//
The next day, after Ben got dropped off, Y/N told the kids she was going out to run some errands, and asked them to get some chores done while she was gone. She genuinely needed to get some things while she was out, so she did that before going over to Harry’s. It felt odd to be going over to his place in the middle of the day for a dick appointment, as the kids would say, but this was happening. She pulls up to a nice duplex, and she recognizes Niall’s car in the other driveway. She texts Harry that she’s down front, and she sees the front door open on one side. She gets out of her car and greets him.
“Find it alright?” He says to her as he lets her in.
“Mhm, this is a cool place.”
“Thanks, Niall and I bought it together, like, five or so years ago. We fixed up one side and then the other.”
“So he gets one side and you the other?”
“Yup, worked out well. I’ve redecorated recently, for, um, obvious reasons.”
“Right, trust me I know how hard it can be living in the same place where good and bad memories were made.”
“Is that why you came out here?”
“One of the reasons she sighs as she kicks her shoes off. “I needed a fresh start.”
He hums his response as he cups her jaw in his large hands, bringing his lips to hers.
“How long do you have?” He says against her lips.
“An hour at most. I have to go to the grocery store after this.”
“Oh.” He smirks. “You won’t be going to the store after this.”
“Wh-why not?” She swallows.
“Because you’re not gonna be able to walk when I’m done with you.” He bends down and lifts her up over his shoulder and she squeals.
“Harry!” She giggles as he brings upstairs to his room. Fuck, he was strong. “What will I tell my kids when I’m walking funny?”
“Tell them good old Mr. Styles cracked your spine in half, I’m sure that’ll go over well.” He drops her on his bed, and gets his shirt off. She looks up wide eyed at him. “Oh, love, I’m not actually gonna do that.”
“I know, I’ve just never seen your tattoos in the daylight like this. I mean when we showered I sort of did, but…they’re so pretty.”
His features soften and he picks her up again, getting himself on the bed and laying her down. He sucks on her bottom lip as she wraps her arms and legs around him. His hands work to undo her jeans, and he tugs them down past her bum. She kicks them off the rest of the way, and he pets her over her underwear. She moans into his mouth, and his dips his fingers inside, sliding along her slit. She could feel him growing hard against her hip.
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Would you blow me for a bit?”
“Of course! Lay down.”
He gives her a relieved smile and lays back on the bed. She gets between his legs and does his pants. She gets them off and tugs his boxers down. She kisses his tip first, then gives his shaft kisses before licking him up and down. She looks up at him and sees he’s already watching her. She smirks and wraps her lips around his tip, sinking down on him as much as she could.
“Yeah, just like that.” He groans. “Fuck, you feel so good.”
She moans against him and bobs her head up and down. This wasn’t her favorite thing to do in the world, but she didn’t mind do it for it for Harry since he was so attentive with her. She gets him to the brink of coming, and then he pulls her off of him. He gets her naked, and opens her legs up, diving right in. The flat of his tongue sliding up her center to her clit. He sucks both of her lips, one at a time before focusing on her clit again. Two of his fingers slip inside her, and her eyes roll back. He has her crying out moments later, and before she knows it he’s getting a condom on.
“Can I go on top?” She asks.
“Sure.” He shrugs and lays down, his cock stiff and ready for her.
She swings her leg over him, and rubs his tip over her clit before sinking down on his. His hands grip her hips as she moves around in a circle to get comfortable. She moves herself on and off his cock, enjoying the stretch he’s giving her. When she gets a little tired she comes down to him chest to chest, and kisses him. His hands slide to her ass, and he moves her on him. He thrusts in and out of her, and she moans into his neck.
“Like the way I feel like this?” He grunts.
“Yes, fuck.” She mumbles. Her clit was rubbing against him perfectly, and she was trying to concentrate on that. “Don’t stop what you’re doing.” She tugs at his hair and he nearly growls.
He thrusts into her faster and faster, it has her panting and moaning. His tip was hitting her g-spot, so the whole thing was really overwhelming. She moans out his name loudly as she comes, and he fucks her through it. He lifts her off of him, and sets her down on her stomach. He gets behind her and pushes back inside. She gasps, but it feels good. He fucks her from behind until he comes, and collapses on top of her. He holds her for a moment before pulling out and getting rid of the condom. She uses the bathroom, and gets dressed. He throws on a pair of boxers and a sweatshirt.
“Thanks for adding me to your list of errands.” He says to her as they stand in his front hall. She giggles into his chest as he hugs her and kisses the top of her head.
“My legs are working just fine, by the way. But I’m too tired to go grocery shopping now.”
“Well, you only gave me a bloody hour, love, and you made me come really fast.” He pouts. “Can’t seem to last that long with you.”
“Maybe you should jerk off before I come over next time so you can handle it.” She grins and he rolls his eyes.
“You came twice didn’t you?” She nods yes. “Alright then, quit your complaining. Go on, get outta my house.” He pats her bum and kisses her one more time. “Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”
“You too.” Y/N drove home with a smile on her face the whole way.
//
Things were like this most weekends, especially when the kids were at Joseph’s. Harry would come over on Friday night instead of Saturday in case he fell asleep. Plus if he stayed the night that meant they could have sex most of the day Saturday, which was really nice. Y/N was having a lot of fun with Harry. Sometimes they’d meet up with Anna and Niall to go bowling, or catch a movie. In a way it felt like dating, but there was absolutely zero pressure. It was the exact companion ship she had hoped for.
When the holidays rolled around, she got the kids for Christmas, and Joseph got them for New Year’s, which meant Y/N could go to the party Harry was having. Apparently it was an annual thing. There were a lot of people from school there so she felt right at home. Y/N hadn’t had a New Year’s kiss in quite some time, so it wasn’t even on her mind until all of the couples migrated towards each other as it got closer to midnight.
Harry was wandering through his home trying to find her. She was in the kitchen refilling her drink. He lets out a sigh of relief. He could hear people starting the countdown.
“Christ, there you are!” He says to her, pulling her into him.
“You were looking for me?”
“Course I was, who else am I gonna kiss, hm?” They hear everyone yell ‘one’ and he plants one on her. She thought it would be a simple peck since there were people around, but no, Harry full on kissed her. “Happy New Year.” He breathes and then kisses her forehead.
“Happy New Year.” She says faintly as he walks away from her to continue being a good host. She was one of the last people there, feeling drained at nearly two in the morning. She was getting her coat, about ready to say goodbye when he looked at her funny. “What?”
“Where do you think you’re going at this hour?”
“Home.”
“Nope, sorry, m’afraid you’re staying with me tonight. Get that coat off, now.” He crosses his arms over his chest.
“Is that so?”
“it is.” He nods, and she smirks at him stepping closer to him.
“Make me.” She grins and his eyebrows raise.
“Right.”
Before she knows it she’s being picked up and carried to his room. They both giggle as he gets her in his room. He gets her jacket and boots off, and he tosses her one of his bed shirts.
“What’s this for?” She asks as she holds the shirt up.
“To sleep? Can’t fuck you right now, I’m knackered.”
“Oh.” She blushes. “Alright, well, thank you. Um…you wouldn’t happen to have a spare toothbrush and a washcloth then would you?”
“Sure, I’ll pull that out of the linen closet for you, one second.” He leaves the bedroom and comes back shortly and gives her what she asked for.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” He shrugs and starts taking his clothes. “Feel free to use the bathroom first.”
She nods and does so. She liked the way his shirt fit, how it hugged her thighs and just barely covered her bum. She washes up and shyly pads back into the bedroom. He smiles when he sees her, and watches as she crawls onto the bed.
“Well, don’t you look cute.” He pinches her thigh as she settled.
“Oh! Don’t do that.” She swats his hand away and he chuckles, getting up from the bed.
“Back in a tick.”
He shuts the lights off once he’s done in the bathroom, and gets into bed with her. She felt awkward until he yanked her onto his chest.
“You can be pretty forceful sometimes, you know that?”
“Does it bother you?”
“Not really, it’s not like I don’t feel safe.”
“You feel safe with me?” He asks softly.
“I do.” She feels him hold her a little closer.
“I just want what I want when I want it I guess.”
“So I’ve noticed. I like a man that knows what he wants, though, so it’s not like it’s a turn off.
“Aw, so you feel safe with me and you like me. A Happy New Year indeed.” She sucks her teeth at that and it makes him laugh. “What’s wrong, can’t take a bit of teasing?”
“I can, you’re just annoying.” She nudges him and he kisses the top of her head.
“You’re fun, Y/N.” He chuckles.
“Let’s get some sleep so you can fuck me in the morning, yeah?”
“I like the way you think.” He sighs and lets his eyes droop closed.
Y/N and Harry spent most of New Year’s day in his best, and neither of them would have had it any other way.
//
“Y/N?” One of her student workers comes into her office. “Mr. Horan from the math department is here to see you.”
“He is?” She raises an eyebrow. “Um, alright, he can come in.” The girl nods and lets Niall in. He closes the door behind him. “Is everything alright with Ben?”
“Yeah, this isn’t work related.”
“Oh…alright, would you like to have a seat?”
“No, it won’t take long…um…did you know Harry’s birthday is on the first of February?”
“I did not know that, no.”
“Right, well, I’m throwing him a party at this pub he really likes to go to. He’s turning thirty, you know? Wanted it to be a little more special for him.” She nods and he continues. “He’s shy about his birthday, and he’d never come right out and say it, but I know it would be mean the world to him if you came.”
“Well, of course I’ll go. It’s not like I haven’t been to a party with him before.”
“Yes, but instead of casually coming over to his New Year’s party…you’d sort of be showing up as his lady, you know?”
“What are you getting at here?”
“Come on, Y/N.” Niall scoffs. “He’s crazy about you, can’t you see that?”
“Niall…” She says in a hushed tone. “You know very well that he and I are nothing more than-“
“Fuck buddies, yeah, yeah.” He rolls his eyes. “This has been going on for months, you seriously don’t want more with the guy?”
“No.” She swallows. “I’m getting exactly what I need from him. He doesn’t want more either, what we’re doing works for both of us. Has…has he said something to you?”
“Not in so many words, but he talks about you enough. I think it’s silly to not go for it.”
“Look, if I didn’t have two kids maybe things could be different between him and I, but it’s not that simple. I don’t want more…at least not right now.”
“Alright.” He sighs. “I’ll text you the details for the party, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Oh, and keep it a secret. He thinks we’re going on a bar crawl.”
She nods and out the door he goes. She sighs heavily and shakes her head. Now there would be all this pressure for his birthday. Did she need to get him a gift? And what kind of gift should it be?
//
“Mum, you look so good.” Riley says sitting on Y/N’s bed when she comes out in a red dress.
“Thank you, honey.”
“And this is for a friend’s birthday party?”
“Yes.”
“Whose birthday?” Riley grins.
“Harry’s.” Y/N sighs.
“Did you get him anything good?”
“I…I got him, like, well, you know how he likes to wear all those rings? So I saw this ring at the store that I thought he might like.”
“You got him a ring?”
“Is it weird? It’s weird right? I just…I saw it and I thought of him, and I-“
“I bet he’ll love it, Mum.”
“Alright.” She nods. “Listen…you’ll be alright with Ben tonight? I…I could either be home really late, or I might not come back until the morning depending on how much I have to drink.”
“He’s setting up some movies and popcorn for us as we speak. We can handle it.”
“Good, okay, thank you.”
“Where would stay if you don’t come home?”
“Mr. Horan has offered me his guest room if need be.” It was a blatant lie but she couldn’t very well tell her fourteen-year-old that she was most likely going to have birthday sex with her teacher.
“Okay.” Riley shrugs and goes downstairs with Y/N. The doorbell rings. “I’ve got it.” She says as Y/N gets her coat on. “Hi, Mr. Styles.”
“Hello, Riley, is your mum ready to go?”
“Mhm, she’s just getting her coat on. Happy birthday, by the way.”
“Thank you.” He smiles and then uses all his willpower to not let his jaw drop when he sees Y/N. He couldn’t even see her dress, but he could tell she’d be a knockout tonight. “Ready?”
“Yes.” She smiles and turns to Riley and Ben. “Don’t be afraid to call if you need anything. I can be home in a flash. I’ll text you later to let you know what my, um, plans are.” She blushes and pushes Harry outside as the kids wave them off.
“She’s not subtle.” Ben says as he plops onto the couch.
“I know, I wish they’d just admit they’re in love and get on with it.” Riley says and starts the movie.
//
Harry opens the backseat of Niall’s car for her, and then he jogs around to the other side. Niall was driving, and Anna was in the passenger seat. Everyone greets one another and off they go. Harry keeps his hand on Y/N’s knee the whole way, and she puts her hand over his. They smile at each other, but nothing is said. Needless to say he was surprised by there being a party at the pub for him, but he was delighted.
Niall had done really well. Lots of drinks and appetizers going around, good music, and people mingling. There was even a cheesy slideshow of every single one of Harry’s school pictures throughout the years, and Y/N had to fight tears from laughing so hard at some of them. Harry couldn’t have asked for a better birthday, especially with Y/N around. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her all night, and eventually his arm didn’t leave from its place around her waist. No one really paid it any attention. Most people knew there was something going on between the two of them, but it was none of their concern. The single men in the room at the least knew not to hit on her. No one really wanted to get on Harry’s shit list.
There was a table for gifts, but Y/N kept hers in her purse, not wanting it to get lost. She also wanted to give it to him in private in case things got awkward. She had overthought the ring over and over. It was this nice topaz band that she thought he’d like. He said he was always looking for a pop of color in his wardrobe.
“Hey.” He says to her, pulling her into him. “Are you gonna come home with me?”
“Yeah.” She smiles. “Are you having a good time?”
“A great time. Couldn’t have asked to turn thirty with better people.” He tucks some hair behind her ear and she shivers. “Can’t to get you back to my place, though.” He leans in to speak in her ear. “M’gonna mess up all this pretty makeup you’re wearing.” He kisses her cheek and lets her go. She was suddenly counting down the moments until it was time to leave.
When it came time, she helped grab all of the gifts off the table and bring them to Niall’s car. She had texted Riley that she wouldn’t be coming home which she felt slightly guilty about. She didn’t like giving up her weekends with the kids like this. Niall and Anna help get everything inside, and then leave Harry and Y/N alone, drinking water in the kitchen. He comes over to her, putting his hands on her hips, and pulling her forward.
“Have I told you how fucking sexy you look tonight? I’ve had to hold my hand under my jaw all night just to keep it from dropping.”
“Idiot.” She chuckles. “Oh! Wait, I got you something.” She snatches her purse from the counter.
“So it’s not lingerie? Sort of thought you were my gift.” He smirks and she rolls her eyes.
“That wouldn’t be very original, and I don’t find lingerie to be particularly comfortable, sorry, Sport.” She fishes the ring box out of her purse. “Here we are. If it’s weird feel free to just kick me out…I saw it thought you’d like it, nothing more to it than that.”
He takes the box from her, furrowing his brows. His eyes widen as he opens it up. He looks between her and the topaz band several times.
“Are you serious?” He says.
“Y-yeah…do you like it?”
“Are you kidding? I love it! I just can’t decide what finger to put it on.”
“I guessed on the size. You have such fat fingers, so I went with a larger one.”
“Think that’s the first time I’ve heard you complain about my fingers. Better be the last.” He slips the ring onto his middle finger and holds it out. “It’s perfect, thank you so much. You really didn’t have to do this.”
“I know, but I wanted to. Like I said, I saw it and thought you’d like it.”
He hugs her and she hugs him back. He kisses her cheek and works his way to her lips. He sucks on her bottom lip, and she tugs at his shirt. His hands slide down to her ass and he squeezes.
“Fuck, I want you so bad.” He says against her lips, and lifts her up onto the counter.
“Mm-mm, just bring me upstairs, I don’t wanna have sex on the counter again.”
“But it’s my birthday.” He pouts.
“Yeah, and last time we did this my back hurt for, like, three days, so bring me upstairs.”
He sucks his teeth and lifts her back up, carrying her bridal style out to the staircase, and up to his room. He sets her down on the bed and takes her heels off, sliding his hands up her calves and thighs. He pulls her to her feet so he can lift the dress up over her head. He tugs her nylons off along with her underwear, and unclips her bra, leaving her naked in front of him. He licks his lips and kisses her. Running his hands all over her body. She works to get his shirt undone, and pushes it off his shoulders. She undoes his pants and lets them drop to the floor, he steps out of them, and they both fall back on the bed. He grinds his hard dick, still clothes by his boxers, right into her core, and she groans. He continues to grind against her, and she moves her hips along with his to get some extra friction.
“I want you to suck me off while I fuck you with my tongue.”
She nods and they switch positions so he can lay on his back. She gets situated over his face, and she lowers herself on his body. His tongue moves back and forth along her slit before entering her. She gasps just as she’s getting her lips wrapped around him. His hands grip her hips so he can lick into her in just the right way. She moans around his cock as she tries to bob up and down on him. He removes his tongue from her so he can finger her, and he licks up to her other hole, something they’ve done before. She chokes on his dick and pulls off, choosing to pump him instead.
“Shit, Harry, oh my god!”
He moans against her as she comes around his fingers. He pulls his fingers away and laps her up. He rolls her onto her stomach, and he grabs a condom quickly. He rolls it on and spreads her legs wide open. She lifts her hips up as he pushes inside her, and he grabs a pillow to put under her back. He rocks in and out of her as his hands knead her breasts. She wraps her arms around his neck to pull him down to her, and she licks into his mouth. He moans into her as their chests touch and sweat starts to form between their bellies.
“Y/N.” He moans into her ear, and it raises goosebumps all over skin. She wraps her legs around his waist to pull him even closer. He kisses on her neck and she runs her fingers through his hair. “I want you to come at the same time as me, think you can do that?”
“Y-yeah.”
He snakes a hand between them so he can rub her clit and her mouth falls open. They make eye contact the entire time, and they cry out as they come together. He collapses on top of her, and she holds him close, kissing his cheek multiple times. He keeps his head buried in her chest for a few moments. He looks up at her, about to say something, but her phone goes off.
“Shit, it could be the kids…”
“One second.” He pulls out of her with a grunt, and lets her up. She gets up and waddles over to his dresser and grabs her phone.
“Ben?”
“Hi, Mum, I’m sorry it’s so late, but Riley doesn’t feel well. I think it’s her period, but she’s on the floor, like, clutching at her stomach and I don’t know what to do for her…”
“Shit, okay, um, get her a glass of milk and two ibuprofen from the cabinet. I’ll be home soon, I’ll set up a warm compress for her. She gets really bad cramps like me sometimes.”
“Okay, thanks, sorry again.”
“No problem, I’ll see you soon.” She turns to Harry. “I…I’m sorry, I can get an uber or-“
“I’ll drive you, don’t be silly.” He says, already throwing some sweats on. “Do you want something to change into so you don’t have to put all that back on?”
“Yeah, if you don’t mind.”
He gets her a sweatshirt and some sweatpants. Once she’s cleaned herself up they’re out the door and into his car. This time around he holds her hand the whole way, their fingers intertwined and everything. When he turns the car off when he pulls in, she gives him a funny look.
“Don’t look at me like that, I’m coming in, obviously.”
“You don’t need to.”
“I know, now come on.”
They get inside, and poor rile is still laying on the floor sucking milk out of a straw. Ben was sitting on the ground neck to her rubbing her back.
“Mum?”
“Hi, sweetie.” Y/N gets on her knees next to her.
“Feels like someone’s squeezing my insides with a spiked glove.”
“I know, baby, the medicine will work soon, I promise.” She sighs. “Ben, in the bathroom cabinet is where the warm compresses are, could you get one for me please?”
“Yeah.” He stands up and looks at Harry, but doesn’t say anything. Riley sees Harry’s sneakers and turns to look at him.
“Hey, Mr. Styles…”
“Hey.” He smiles. “Not feeling great, huh?”
“Cramps.” She says bluntly.
“Ugh, that’s the worst.” He sits down next to her. “My older sister used to get them really bad, I felt terrible.”
Ben comes back with the warm compress, and Y/N snaps it to get it to warm up, and she presses it to Riley’s lower back. She sighs from the feeling.
“See? Better already.” Y/N says.
“I don’t know what happened. I was fine all night, and then I got up to get some more soda, and I basically fell to the ground.”
“The bad ones can creep up on you unfortunately. I need to get you up to your room.”
“I could carry her…if…if that’s alright with everyone.” Harry says.
“That would be okay.” Riley says. “No one else could do it anyways.”
He helps her up, double and triple checking it’s okay that he’s touching her, and he carries her up. Y.N has Ben clean up the living room before he goes to bed. Y/N goes into Riley’s room after Harry’s places her on her bed.
“All set?” Y/N says to her, brushing some hair away from her face.
“Yeah, thank you.” She yawns. “Goodnight.”
“Night, honey.”
Y/N tugs Harry into her room, and closes the door.
“I’m so sorry, thank you for coming in…I don’t know how I would’ve helped her upstairs, I would have had to make a bed for her on the couch.” Y/N starts tearing up. “There are so many things I can do for them on my own until I’m reminded that there are things that I just can’t.”
“Hey.” He puts his hands on her shoulders. “You’re a great mum and you’re doing what you can. I couldn’t imagine being so young and raising two teenagers. You make it look easy, honestly. You’re amazing, Y/N.”
“You really think so?”
“I do.” He nods.
“Would you…I mean…it’s late, um, would you want to just stay here?”
“It wouldn’t be weird for you?”
“No.” He smiles and starts taking his clothes off. They get into bed together and cuddle all night. He somehow was always exactly what she needed, and it scared her a little. “How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Put me at ease the way you do?”
“I don’t know.” He smiles down at her. “Didn’t realize I did that for you.”
“Well, you do. And I don’t know how I feel about it.”
“Christ, Y/N, just admit you like me as more than just a guy who fucks you good so we can date already.”
“What?” She sits up and so does he. “That’s not funny.”
“I’m not trying to be. You don’t wanna date? I mean we practically already are when you think about it. I’m not seeing anyone else, are you?”
“With your clingy ass? Who would have the time?!” She laughs.
“Oi, I resent that.”
“You ask me to hang out literally every weekend.”
“Yeah, cause I need to get to you before someone else does.”
“Harry…you realize if you get into a relationship with me you’re getting into a relationship with my kids, right?”
“I do.” He nods. “I know it’ll be a lot, but if it means I get to be with you…I think I could be all in with them. I can’t speak for Ben, but I know Riley likes me. I feel like we could make this work.”
“I don’t want more kids…I’m almost thirty-four, I would hate for you to end up wanting kids of your own. That’s not something I can give you, Harry.”
“You know what I’d really like?”
“What?”
“A dog. I’m great with pets, absolutely great. I miss having a pup around. If we get to a point where we feel like that’s the right move, that would definitely be enough for me.”
“I’ve always wanted a dog.” She bites her bottom lip. “Wow, okay, so…we’re doing this?”
“We fucking better be, I think Niall will explode if we don’t.”
They both giggle, and kiss each other. They settle back down to get some sleep, ready for whatever the morning brings.
a/n: if you liked what you’ve read, and are able/want to support me, please consider buying me a coffee. 
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ghostbergara · 2 years
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Blue and maybe midnight for one ask game, 🔥 for the other
Have a nice day/good night!
aw thank you, right back at ya!
for 🔥 i think it actually changed quite a lot! so this might be long because im not good at making..words..short? (i dont speak english sdbjk)
I realized I was queer around when i was 12-13, i had always felt.. off? Different? I think in the same way i've heard a lot of other queer people describe. I also grew up in a very small conservative town and we moved when i was 12 so now thinking about it, that change in environment probably allowed me to figure myself out a little bit more. Now 12 might seem young to some people, but i honestly probably should have known sooner i was trans, actually i think i knew, i just didn't have the language. Before i knew my mom had talked a lot about how much will power can accomplice and i thought if i just wanted it hard enough i would wake up a boy (which obviously didn't work so i woke up disappointed every morning). I went as far as to pray??? to god??? i am NOT religious and i never was (which actually got a me in trouble in school a few times but thats another story) asking them to make me a boy (which unsurprisingly also didn't work). I think if i remember correctly i found out about trans-ness mainly from Sam Collins (who is a trans youtuber) which then led me in a spiral of googling and watching everything i could about being trans and how to know if you're trans. I even made a Pros and Cons list of reasons i was and wasn't trans??? (I cant find it anymore but the cons list only had one thing and i cant even remember what it was) Then after some time i sent a video by sam collins where he talks about being trans with his mom, to my dad! He was very supportive until he wasn't and thats also another story. He then told my mom for me and they ended up both being very unsupportive for a very long time.
ANYWAY im getting off track from the question. I didn't have much energy to focus on anything other than staying alive for a very very long time and in turn didnt have the energy to even think much about my identity (i was out as trans and so on). Now in recent years first of all my mom has become very supportive and im doing worlds better and ive finally gotten through the system and gotten hormones and later this year i have my first top surgery consultation. I've figured out my sexuality (or i though i had, i dont know, i like men and maybe more??? Im either gay or bi). Experienced tons of trans and homophobia and most importantly really feel like i've entered the community.
HERES WHERE I ACTUALLY ANSWER THE QUESTION
Now i think i feel more 'free'? Being queer definently makes me feel like i can really be who i want to be, like i'm not defined by stereotypes and stupid cis-straight 'rules' that i dont understand. I'm grateful for the experiences it's brought me, both positive and negative, because it's made me more empathetic and im better dressed for helping and talking with other queer and in some ways even just generally marginalized people. I'm also very aware of the impact i can have as a queer person, both on other queer people and on straight people. I tend to like to wear at least one thing that will mark me as queer in at least other queer peoples eyes because that for them often means safe and not alone. I know from first hand experience how scary it can be to be queer out in the world and if i can bring even the slightest relief to people i will. I certainly feel more at ease when theres other queer people around. When it comes to impact on straight people it's the way i know i can make them understand more and sometimes take the burden off a newly-out queer person by answering some of the questions they have instead of them asking that newly-out person. Of course i have also gotten the "I thought trans people were freaks until i met you, but you're just like normal" which while it sucks at least they hopefully in the future will be more open.
I feel like im more in a way. I have an impact on the world and a possibility to help others like me in a way that is so meaningful and i cherish that.
what colors am i?
LGBTQ+/Queer Themed Asks
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Hi, darling! ❤ "i’m finally ready to be with you, but you’ve finally moved on from me, and i’m too late" please?
Am I gonna regret this? Absolutely.
Oooh!!! Nobody specified means everyone gets some pain!!!
Thank you dearie!!!
(TW: Death, growing old, regret, mention of grief, slight mention of blood)
Valerian-
“Was it worth it?”
It was like an itch.
No matter how many times over the years Valerian fought with himself to ignore your last words to him, he couldn’t. It crept up on him, crawled under his skin like a memory made of carrion beetles and worms. The question wouldn’t die, it decomposed- fertilizing nightmares of days long gone by. It turned his heart rotten.
He wakes up sometimes with his hand reaching out across the bed, the coolness of his empty linens sending Valerian drowning amongst the currents of time and misfortune again. Giving his decision the moniker of “mistake” would hardly encompass how much of a fool he was, how he thought so assuredly he had you, that you had all the time in the world to wait.
Just one more job, he would tell you, one more bounty. And all there would be left for him, was you.
But you were gone. And your words stung and scraped and dug at his skin. And he scratched and scratched and scratched at the fading memory of you.
Peter-
People talk about the five stages of grief like it’s a process, but really, it’s a map. It’s a state you find yourself in, a sick and twisted path of destinations and crossroads that path themselves in and out of hell. You find yourself there. You hardly ever leave. Some people are lucky; some find themselves in acceptance of their loved one’s death. Some lose themselves in their anger. Some people, desperate to cling to the memories, never make it farther than phase one.
Peter’s destination was bargaining. He never got any further than that.
Desperation. Helplessness. Despite any and all appearances of the cheery, capable man, you saw more in your time with him than most. And he was hurt.
Peter tried many times to get through these feelings, the past clawing at his heart and mind, ripping- always ripping- him back to where he left off. He was so beside himself in his worry for you every time you got hurt, there were times you thought it better to not go home at all. If only to quell the pain. If only to stop his hurt.
And maybe it was bad. Bad to let him go like you did. But how much more could you stomach watching him hurt? Ghosts haunting him, tormenting him, his face twisting at the sight of you coming out of a battle alive.
Be okay, for me. Please be okay.
You hated promises you couldn’t keep.
You hated the thought of breaking his heart even further, if one night you came home, and you weren’t okay.
Rosalie-
Love isn’t perfect. It was an epiphany she had working on a dock, years after she’d left you. She was older, wiser, but still remembers you the way she liked you best: smiling. Your voice had faded from her memory, your words probably twisted by time, but it was your smile that she recalled with perfect detail. It was good, this way. Better.
Rosalie tries not to think about the moments where it wasn’t flawless, and always to her surprise, those memories are nothing more than blunt daggers in her mind. Tears, anger, regret- those feelings surface, dull and subdued, but they don’t affect her the same way it does with your smile.
Where did it all go wrong?
Rosalie doesn’t know. She doesn’t expect it, either. She broke her finger slamming her hammer down, missing the nail when she came to this realization. The shattering sound of her ring finger was a dull, monotone noise compared to the blood that rushed in her ears;
Did I not try hard enough?
It was you, smiling. The crystal clear sound of your laughter. The mute sounds of your anger- the blurry visions of your tears. Faded arguments. Jokes that sound so familiar. Her memories weren’t perfect. Her love for you wasn’t, either.
But it was real.
Real like the fractured bits of bone and knuckle. Real like her scream. Real like the hot, furious tears that poured down her face, the pain- the pain.
Intangible. Imperfect.
Like her memories of you.
Thane-
“You’re lucky you’re not dead, you know,” Thane’s voice was steady, like scolding was part of his profession, “if they were any closer to you-”
“I know,” You say, your eyelids slamming shut. You did your best to hide your frustration, lest Thane suddenly decides he was going to start bitching to you about that, too, “but I’m alive. It’s fine,”
“It’s reckless,” He corrects, and the familiar feeling of your heart dropping to your stomach throws you off. You were over him. His words shouldn’t sting this much anymore.
“Foolish, really,” Thane continues, and his cold, sterile needle seems bury itself deeper into your skin, “but, given your proclivities for practically throwing yourself at death’s doorstep, I’m not surprised,”
You scoff, throwing back your head in disbelief. Is he being serious?
“I jumped in front of the damn gun because you weren’t moving fast enough! Any slower, Thane, and you would’ve been dead.”
He stops. The needle sat still against your skin. The sutures pulled taut- your wound was almost closed.
“What?”
“He was aiming for your effin’ head,” You spit, tired, tired of the damn man in front of you. Never so much as a thank you for the amount of times you saved his ass, and he’s still giving you shit? Still grating on your fucking nerves?
“I…” He sucks in a breath, “I didn’t know that,”
“No shit,” You huff, “you never do.”
That seems to be enough to snap Thane back out of his daze. His piercing, cold eyes met yours, and you were surprised to see that they seem to mirror your irritation. Your fury,
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
That you're loved, you fool. I loved you.
Why couldn’t you see that?
Why couldn’t you see me?
There was so much at that moment you wanted to say, so many words that turned stale on your tongue. It was bitter, finally seeing the realization on his face, to watch those very lips that you’d only dreamt of tasting, turn until tight, thin frown. Confusion and worry and shock painted his face a pale, pinkish gray. It was the color, you realized, of regret.
Of his regret. Not yours.
Ophelia-
When Ophelia found your first gray hair, she almost cried.
It’s started. The clock is ticking.
You soothed her horror with laughter, plucking the strand of hair straight from your head and throwing it to the side, like it was garbage. Trash.
“You stress me out,” You say with a laugh, and Ophelia finds it in herself to smile. She doesn’t notice at first, how the laugh lines deepen.
You complained of pains in your back. Your hips. Riding a horse has become too much of a pain for long distance travel.
Your head of hair is now silver. Ophelia pays the color little mind.
She insists on riding into town herself more and more, much to her quiet, naked distress.
You slap her shoulder playfully, shrugging off your discomfort like you were twenty-three again,
“And miss out on the candy restock? Perish the thought.”
Ophelia now loves the contoured lines of your face. You’ve laughed a lot. It’s pretty.
You sit at home now, keeping your hands busy as best you can.
Ophelia does her best to ignore the gossip in town. She’s older, and yet they call you the pervert.
Does she really look so young? Has she really not changed? Will there be no sign of growing old with you?
You smiled sadly as she said these things late one night. She’d be crying again,
“Be still, my heart. I am always with you.”
She misses it.
She left for town only a day ago. The tulips were in bloom. Ophelia thought it a good idea to surprise you.
Doc greeted her in town. He shook his head, eyes cast to the ground.
The tulips were ruined in her haste, and Ophelia cried herself into exhaustion.
It was a terrible day. A feather unnoticed on her neck, had turned a light shade of gray.
Javier-
Javier was cold. Dying was a frigid feeling.
His chest heaved slow, shallow breaths. With each rise and fall of his chest, he could feel his own blood fill up his lungs, his own chest caving in. Dying was an uncomfortable feeling.
He held your hand like it was his lifeline. Javier didn’t want to look in your eyes again, he knew the light was gone.
“Re-remember when,” he starts, and the force of his breath alone causes him to gag and heave. For a brief second, he wonders if this was it- he couldn’t even say goodbye, before he said hello again. Javier was okay with that. But his breathing slows and calms down, and it was enough for him to start again,
“R-remember when I first met you?” It was a favorite of his; you looked so wild back then, so free. Years have passed and times have changed, you along with it, but the way you looked then?
It made him believe in such a thing called love.
Javier tries to laugh, but it comes out as a choked, wet cough. His hand still held onto yours tightly,
“...you...made me feel alive. And...and scared, a-and brave, and- oh, god, I love you. I-I love you.”
Javier took a breath. Dying was a tiring feeling.
He held your hand. Dying was a lonely feeling.
But he’s coming, and he’s sorry that he’s so late.
Sergio-
“Thank you,”
He laughs. It’s a hollow sound. Sergio was three fingers deep into his rye when you finally spoke up, and of course, it makes him laugh,
“Is that what divorced people say to each other? Thank you?”
You shrug, gulping down a glass of your own poison. Divorce decrees took more out of you than gunfights. Is it any wonder why one happens more than the other?
“You were my husband,” You say quietly, your eyes never meeting him, “You loved me, for better or worse...thank you, for that.”
“You’re an amazing person,” Sergio says without hesitation. His fingers were cold as he clutched his whiskey glass, raising it high into the air, “I...I mean that. Truly.”
What more was I to do, if not love you?
You smile, gulping down your sorrows, lest they escape your lips. Crying was for later. You’re saying goodbye, now.
“I, ahem,” Sergio clears his throat, his free hand going to wipe his reddened eyes, “I hope that whoever they are, they treat you good and proper, and that you are loved…” He pauses, “...that you are loved, as I’ve loved you.”
Say it more. Mean it. Husband, what words are these, when I’m no longer meant for them?
“I don’t hate you, Sergio,” You blurt, and they were words that demand repeating, “but this...I’m not...we, we’re not-”
They are only meant for you.
“-I know,” Sergio says, giving a wave of his hand, “I know. And thank you,”
“For?”
“For allowing me to love you,” Sergio says unevenly, and he takes a moment more to finish his drink.
????/Hope-
So this is agony.
Another’s hand upon your cheek.
You looked happy in their arms. You wore the same smile that made them realize what love was for the first time- what it could truly mean. Those feelings only grew inside them as time went on, bright and fluttering and bursting, so this is love.
It felt good.
But you never gave them that look you’re giving your lover, now. There’s no light in your eyes when your gaze finds them- you grin, you always grin, but it’s the same look you give Valerian and Peter.
It hurts. But why?
They should be happy for you- you're happy. You have someone to love. If this is what you’re feeling, being in your lover’s arms…?
They’ll have Rosalie run a diagnostic on their systems- surely this is a glitch that needs to be fixed. If you’re happy, they’re happy. Rosalie can fix this pain, and Hope will be normal again.
It hurts, being like this.
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ramp-it-up · 4 years
Text
Fresh Squeeze, Pt. 6
Pairing: Daveed Diggs x OFC Linden Marshall
Set in 2023, post-pandemic
Warnings: Cursing, Wild Thoughts™️, Angst, Yearning, 18+, Walmart shopping, Anime discussion, Anthony Ramos. Lots of Plot
Word Count: 2.8 K
Plot: Linden Marshall just finished law school at Columbia University in NYC. Daveed Diggs is still creating magic with his platonic life partner Rafael Casal in the form of their Blindspotting musical, Bay Boys. Linden’s boyfriend WAS Mark Monaco, star of the superhero movie series Invincible.  They were together for years, and her trauma and his addictions were toxic. She knows now that wasn’t love. 
A/N: Keep in mind that this the same AU as Arrivals, with Holly Woods, but is BEFORE Rafa and Holly get together. 
Read the previous chapter.
==================
Isabela, Puerto Rico, May 2023
“We are about 30 minutes from our destination. Please stay seated with your seatbelts fastened. The pilot will let you know when it is safe to do otherwise. Enjoy the rest of the flight.”
The flight attendant’s announcement woke up Daveed. He felt warm and happy. And he had you in his arms.
Daveed moved his head down into your curls, and kissed the top of your head., checking to see if anyone was watching. Everyone was knocked the fuck out. 
You had fallen asleep on his shoulder about 45 minutes into the flight after passing around champagne bottles. You were so cute, but he could tell that your neck was gonna be wrecked when you awoke.
Daveed had carefully maneuvered you so that he could pull up the armrest without waking you. You were dead to the world, so you waking up wasn’t a problem. 
Then, he pulled you to his chest, situating the blanket around you two and leaning back.  If he wanted anything from you right now, at the top of the list would be to be able to hold you like this and to show love.
He questioned that word in his mind. Love, really? He did love you, even if it was only as a good friend. But could it be more? Were you ready for that? Was he?
Daveed looked around to see Craig watching him and giving a thumbs up.  No one else noticed, Rafa was on his laptop and he could have sworn that Anthony and Jasmine were doing something nasty under their blanket behind you.  
He settled back into this feeling of being with you and fell asleep too, happy and content.
You woke up to a strange rhythm under your ear. It was a blue covered heartbeat, you recognized as you opened one eye, and it was insistent and hard, yet warm and safe. You shifted, held Daveed’s torso tighter and tried to drift back off. His arms tightened around you in response.
 Then your eyes popped open.
“Oh shit!”  You realized what was going on. You sat up slowly and squinted at Daveed’s smile and his damn low sexy voice. 
“Hey sleepyhead.”
“Hey.”  
You blushed and wiped your mouth. 
“Shit, I’m sorry…” you wiped at his onesie. “I think I drooled all over  your…” 
You didn’t finish the sentence when you glanced at Daveed and caught his eye. 
What you said that night came back to both of you. D’s eyes darkened and he licked his lips. For a minute, you were trapped by the static energy of your attraction. Daveed could do a lot with those lips right now if you’d let him. 
But of course you fought it.
You took a deep breath and sat up, separating from Daveed more fully. You had to get it together. You reached for your phone and checked your face, making sure you weren’t too crusty.
“Practically perfect in every way.” Daveed was watching you.
“That’s your first mistake.” You clicked your camera off. “ Anything that’s perfect isn’t real. Or alive.”  You had learned a lot in therapy.
“Truth.” Daveed looked at you appraisingly. “Such wisdom from a young one.” He leaned close to you.  “That’s why I said, ‘practically.’”  He was staring at your lips, not wanting to give up on meeting them again.
“I’m not a ‘young one.’ I’m thirty in two days.” 
You lifted your chin as a child would do, Daveed noted.  It was appropriate, because you were being stubborn as fuck right now.
He chuckled and stayed close, not letting you off the hook.  
“And I’m 40. I could be your…”  
The timbre of his voice was causing your pussy to vibrate. Holy fuck.
“...Daddy,” you said, huskily.  
You opened your mouth to breathe, as Daveed grunted quietly in his throat. God, you wanted to fuck him. You remembered that you knew how big he was. Your eyes widened and you watched his mouth.
Daveed would teach you about Daddy. He wanted to rail you until your pussy curved to his dick.  Got damn.
Daveed wanted you and you wanted him. It was crystal clear. He began to reach for you under the blanket when the flight attendant’s voice intruded on your vibe.
“We are beginning our descent into Rafael Hernández Airport, please stay seated with your seatbelts fastened and bring your tray tables and seats to an upright and locked position. The temperature is 75 degrees and the current time is 12:47 am.  We should be at our gate shortly. Thank you.”
That’s it. The moment was gone. You reached for your water bottle and took a drink to cool down. You were grateful.
Daveed was frustrated, as he sat back, brought his seat up, but held the blanket on his lap for a little while longer. It wasn’t fair, he almost had you. He closed his eyes. Now he felt like a child.
---------
The crew finally arrived in town around 2 am, after the two hour flight and renting a couple of cars to get to Isabela, a village on the seaside.
Loud music was playing to avoid falling asleep, Rafael driving one car and Ant the other.
Arriving in town, the two cars headed straight to the Walmart to get some food and things. It was almost 2 am, but everyone was re-energized and playing around, glad to be free for the time being on the island.
Daveed had to concentrate to read the titles in the video section.  His mind kept going back to the moment on the airplane.  But he vowed not to chase you up and down this island. He didn’t want to crowd you.  It had to be your decision.
You had to come to him. And  the thought of you made him want to cum. He’d have you to think about in the shower tonight, or today, whatever.
He needed to stop thinking about it.
Daveed was looking for Black Dynamite to watch in the condo in case it rained. He knew better than to think that Walmart had it, but he tried anyway.
He did see Afro Samurai tho… He picked it up as Rafa approached him with a toy xylophone and a big grin.
==================
Puerto Rico did something to all of you. It was like some weird no inhibitions pollen or something. When you stepped off the plane you decided to not overthink shit. You were just going to respond naturally, fuck the consequences.
This was your weekend, after all.
You walked into the entertainment section and heard some vaguely familiar music. As you got closer, you realized what it was.
Daveed was in the book section rapping “Rubber Duckie” as Rafa played a toy xylophone.
I got my rubber duckie
I'm in the tub with bubblies
He isn't very fuzzy
I know my duckie loves me
Call up my homie Ernie,
You know the orange one, ya heard me
D was going in, being silly and laughing with his bestie. He was fucking adorable.  You grinned at them and turned down the dvd aisle.
“I can’t believe they don’t have Cowboy Bebop.”  
You shook your head as Daveed and Rafa walked up and flanked you at the display, a shopping cart by Daveed’s side.
“It’s a classic.  Children will be referencing the War on Titan and it's after effects a hundred years from now."
Rafa just nodded and stroked his chin, having enough sense to be quiet.
“Wait, Attack on Titan is right here Lindy…” Daveed reached for a dvd and held it up in front of you.
Rafa shook his head and covered it with his hand.
"Spike Spiegel wasn't in Attack on Titan.  That's an entirely different anime series, my dude." 
The sardonic wit in your voice. Daveed just nodded, face on the floor, and put the blu ray down.
You squinted at what D had in his hand. 
"Afro Samurai is 20 years old as well.  You know that and not Cowboy Bebop? You put shame on your house. Old Man.”
You gave him a sexy grin and sauntered away shaking your head.
Rafa had been watching the scene, head on a swivel. All he had to say after you left was, “Boom. Roasted.” 
Daveed just chuckled, surprised and exhilarated at the same time. It seemed that you were up to letting loose a little bit.
He looked at Rafa who just watched Daveed falling. He couldn’t catch him this time.
"Man. Tonight looks like the beginning of an EPIC weekend,” Rafa said as he pushed some more dvds into Daveed’s cart.
Then he pulled a pack of Magnum XLs off the shelf that he had been hiding under his arm from you.
Daveed looked at him. Rafa stared back.
“What?  All these beautiful women on this island. I’m not gonna be unprepared or take any chances.”
Daveed shook his head, grimaced and looked around to see where you went, but you were nowhere to be found.
----
You were busy eating some Hot Cheetos that you’d grabbed on the chip aisle and were turning down the candy aisle when you saw Grumpy Care Bear standing there with a basket full of food, dvds and shit, looking at some sour patch kids.
"Oh hell,"  you said as you turned right back around.
"Ay, yo.  Lindy. You can get your candy. I'm not going to assault you with my inferior anime knowledge."
He laughed that sexy laugh and held up his hands. He sort of regretted calling you back because you walking away...Damn. Even in the Pikachu onesie.
Daveed continued to hold up his hands to show he didn't intend any harm, a smile on the lips that were your weakness earlier.  Fuck me, you thought.
You smiled back at him and went for the Jelly Bellys. You crunched loudly on your Cheetos as you clocked him out on the low. You felt bad. A little. 
"Look, I'm sorry about that in the dvds.  I'm just passionate about what I like."
Daveed wondered if you liked him. Like liked him liked him. He allowed himself to go there. 
You sucked the Cheeto dust off your fingers and it was making D feel some kinda way as he watched your fingers go in and out of your mouth. His eyes began to slide down your body.
He needed to stop. Daveed cleared his throat and looked at your face.
"No problem. I get it. It's all good." 
Diggs unconsciously licked his lips and grinned, causing you to stare for a second at his casual hotness. This couldn't continue. You frowned.
Daveed sensed the change in mood, grabbed his Sour Patch kids and backed away.
“I’ll leave you to it.”
That was a close call you thought as you felt some weird pang of disappointment at him leaving. But it was what it was.
Soon enough, you all left the store.  Rafa stole some of your Jelly Belly’s. You just handed over the pack to him and pulled out some more. You were prepared.
==================
When the crew finally got to the house, you dropped your bags and ran to the beach, celebrating four days of freedom from work, acting, fame, fortune, and expectations.
After a few minutes of staring at the waves, y’all made your way back up to the house.
When you walked in before Jazzy turned the lights on, you recognized a large dark expanse which seemed to be the back wall. As your eyes got adjusted, you noticed the white rolls of the waves on the shore. 
The back wall was floor to ceiling glass.  When the lights came up, it turned into a mirror and 6 characters in onesies stared back at you.
You were at the back of an open concept space with a huge u-shaped sectional sofa and a beautiful, big kitchen with a bar.
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Daaaammmmmmnnn! This place is gorgeous!  Craig’s mouth was hanging open. You reached over and closed it.
“Welcome to our home away from home!” Anthony was bleary eyed and smiling wide. 
He pointed to the right of the house.
“Me and Jazzy’s room is over there,” he then pointed to the right of the house. 
“The birthday girl’s room is opposite over there, a mirror of the master,” then he pointed to the back of the house behind you and to the right,  “and the other four bedrooms are here.” 
Ant started pulling their luggage toward their room, talking over his shoulder. 
“Everybody gets their own room, even me, when I fuck up.” 
All of you cracked up laughing whole Jasmine nodded her head.
It was almost 4 am, so you all were tired.  You gladly pulled your suitcase to your room, feeling grateful and warm for being the guest of honor of your friends.  Your room was the bomb.
You walked into a spacious room with bamboo wood floors,and exposed wooden beam ceilings and several floor to ceiling windows.  There was a huge fluffy white rug under a comfortable king sized bed in the middle of the room. 
Two uniquely designed bamboo lounge chairs and white pillow ottomans faced a window where you could look through and see the pool and beach.
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It was a luxury get away and right now, all you wanted was a shower and the bed.
You put your suitcase on the floor and got down and opened it.  You shook your head at what you saw.
“HOLY FUCK GOT DAMN SHIT!!!!”
Daveed, Craig and Jasmine came running at your screams.  Rafa and Ant were behind.
“What happened.”
You were embarrassed. But so irritated.
“Craig. You got the wrong suitcase.  This is Mark’s shit that he never came to get.  None of my clothes are here.  I have nothing to wear.”  You felt like crying.
“I’m sorry Lindy, you said that your summer clothes and bathing suits were in the rolling soft Louis bag…”
I mean the large one. This is the medium one. It’s okay, Craig.
“You have nothing to wear hunh?”
Daveed was smirking at you and you ignored it, crossing your arms and tapping your foot.
“But it’s perfect!”  You looked at Jasmine and her chipper British accent.
“We can go shopping for your birthday tomorrow. Treat yourself!”
You couldn’t help but smile at Jazzy’s happiness. She was right. Rafa and Ant went away and left y’all to that talk. Daveed was glued to his spot.
“OOooooh. Good Idea.” Craig was in. 
“Ok.I’m tired as fuck. I just wanna shower and sleep now. I’ll not need anything tonight.
Daveed couldn’t get the image of you in the shower and naked in bed out of his head now. He cleared his throat.
“I can give you something to wear shopping tomorrow, Lindy.”
His voice was soft.  You smiled at him and he was a goner.
“Man, you are like three times bigger than she is?”  Jasmine didn’t understand.
“Hold up. Are you willing to sacrifice, D?  Can we cut up one of your t-shirts and jeans?”
Daveed felt pain. The only t-shirts he had were Oaklandish.  
“Let’s compromise. You can cut my jeans all you want, but not the shirt.”
Craig smiled wide.  “Deal, if you throw in a belt.”
“Damn, Diggs…” was all that Jasmine said, smiling and shaking her head.
“Thank you Daveed. I appreciate it.” You were blown away.
Daveed played it off. “No problem…” And then he just turned around and walked out of your room.
“Girlllllllll!!!!”  Craig and Jasmine squealed at you and it took you a minute to get them out of your room.
You walked into the en suite bathroom and marveled at its beauty. It was large, with a huge tub and a walk in glass encased shower with an overhead waterfall  shower head. 
You turned on the shower to get it hot, stripped off your onesie and your underwear, wrapped yourself in a towel and went back into the bedroom.
You stopped short, because there was Daveed standing in your room, clothes in hand.
He had immediately gone to find his least favorite jeans and the Oakland shirt that would suit you the best.  He decided that you would look beautiful in blue.
You just in a towel was a sight to behold. He was sure that underneath that towel was paradise.
You stared at each other for a minute, Your eyes were glued to his.  
“Th-thank you again Daveed.”  He couldn’t discern if your hesitant, sexy voice was for him or from embarrassment.
“Sorry, I…. didn’t think you’d be… sorry.” He put his hands up and backed out of the room.
“Daveed.” You called, softly. “Stop.”
You approached him with a smile on your face. Daveed’s eyes were wide, not knowing what was going to happen.
“Thank you. I mean it.”
You stood on your tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, your lips lingering. Daveed closed his eyes and fought the urge to grab you and hold you close to him.
“You’re welcome.” His smile wrinkled his eyes as he smiled down at you. 
“Goodnight, Linden. Have sweet dreams for me.”
You just stared at him as he turned and left the room.
Daveed was just outside your door when he heard your reply.
“Yes, Sir.”
==================
Read the Next Chapter.
Thank you for liking, replying, and reblogging! 
Tagging: @einfachniemand @sillyteecup @commandersmiley @ohsoverykeri @theselilwonders @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr @riiyy @ivycomet @lonelydance @curtainremote @biafbunny @id-do-it-for-free-babe
83 notes · View notes
arofili · 4 years
Note
how’d u get into writing? like, writing fic and being part of the silm community, being Known, that stuff? i’m really new to being a silm cc and i’d love to know ur advice! also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs? bc i have a Lot of hcs and meta ideas but also i’m really anxious abt posting them bc yknow anxiety is like that
these are some great questions, anon! I’m gonna go through them one by one :)
how’d u get into writing?
not to be like, super cliche, but I’ve...kind of always been a writer? as long as I can remember I’ve been telling stories, and when I was too young to read or write I would dictate them to my mom, who would type them up for me and help me choose clipart illustrations to accompany them. when I got old enough I would always be writing; I attempted my first novel at age 9, and while that never really went anywhere I did finish the darn thing and it had some pretty sophisticated plot twists for a 9-year-old!
like, writing fic
around the same time I got into fandom! I was deep into Warrior cats (like. really deep) and I believe I started writing my first fics when I was like? 10 or 11? my memory is kind of fuzzy on the order of things, but I know I got an account on the Warriors forums when I was 9, and that I was already posting my fic there when I made my FFN account. I believe I was 12 when that happened, but who knows. I haven’t the faintest idea of what happened with those forums, but uhhh pretty much all of my Warriors fic is still up on FFN lmao. you could probably find that if you want to but um...maybe don’t?
my first Big Fic was a self-insert of...my entire 5th/6th grade class into the then-current timeline of the Warriors books...well. I honestly think that might still be my most popular fic of all time l m a o though I try not to think about it because Hashtag Cringe. though as much as I look back on that time with a “yikes,” I am very grateful for the Warriors fandom in a way? that place was so accepting and encouraging of OCs, of AUs, of completely disregarding canon, of worldbuilding that is completely alien from canon - it was a fantastic sandbox to begin with, there were so many ways to write stories and practically all of them were accepted and had fellow fans invested in them!
and being part of the silm community, 
soooo I wrote Warriors fic until my freshman year of high school (wow sdjfhkdsjfh), which was when BOTFA came out, and I was absolutely wrecked by the ending and immediately started writing my own fixit fic. I was also super hooked on Kiliel! so that was my intro to the Tolkien fandom; and simultaneously, I joined tumblr, and, well, the rest is history tbh.
I honestly do not remember when I first read the Silm, but I kind of got into the more obscure parts of the Tolkien fandom through fandom osmosis, and I do have a vague memory of doodling the Finwean family tree in geometry class so it might have been later on in freshman year? that was also the same time I was having my Queer Awakening, and Russingon definitely contributed to me unlearning my internalized queerphobia, so probably around then.
anyway - queer awakening, tumblr, Tolkien, transitioning from FFN to AO3 - all of that was happening around the same time. I know I dipped my toes in the Silm fandom then, but I was still primarily a Hobbit fic writer focusing on Kiliel. toward the end of high school I kind of shifted to LOTR and (qp) Gigolas...but somehow the Silm fandom is the most active of the Big Three within the Tolkien fandom, and I was getting dragged further and further in.
it wasn’t until @backtomiddleearthmonth 2019, my freshman year of college, that I really dove into writing Silm fic! I picked some Silm-specific bingo cards and never looked back :D that was really not all that long ago but I am obsessed in a way I don’t really remember being even with TH/LOTR, I obviously cannot see the future but I anticipate hanging out here for a long time. the Silm fandom is great overall and there’s just so much material to work with!! <3
being Known, that stuff?
so I don’t really have a whole lot of context on how “well known” I am in the fandom?? definitely within the past year and a half or so I’ve noticed that I like, get asks like this, and get a significant amount of notes on my posts, and I’ve made a lot of fandom friends especially since I joined some Silm servers on Discord (hmu if you want invites; I’m on the SWG server and 2 general Silm servers and the Russingon server) this past year. and I have 3,000 followers as of this month - and while ever since I hit 1k I don’t particularly pay attention to my follower count I can definitely say that I have more engagement now than I used to! but it took me a long time to build this “audience,” I suppose; I’ve been around the Tolkien fandom since late 2014, so nearly 6 years of this, lol.
really the best way to build a following, in my experience, is to just post a lot of stuff. when I started making edits I got a lot more engagement, because for a long time I would post one every day! (I made them in batches and queued them; I didn’t actually make one every day lol...and now I’m too busy to do that, so I just make edits for events and whenever I feel like it) And I have [checks ao3] 145 works in the Silm fandom as of today - I’m fairly prolific! I’ve come to generally expect 3-10 comments on most of my oneshots, which is a lot more than I used to have back in the day. consistency and quantity are more likely to attract people to your work - and quality, of course.
also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs?
I’ve been writing since I was very young, and I’ve been writing fic for like...11 years? I think? in that time I’ve produced a lot of garbage, but imo most of that was in my Warrior cats phase, so I came into the Tolkien fandom with confidence in myself and my writing. I’m also working on original fiction on the side (I hope to eventually become a published fantasy author, but right now school takes up most of my time that I don’t devote to fandom, which gives me more immediate gratification and also is just Very Fun) and I know I’m a good writer.
basically, I’ve been doing this for like...half my life, and I’m still fairly young, so I’ve had time to build up my skill and confidence and I know I’m only going to get better with time. you will get better with practice. like I said, I’ve written a lot of terrible stuff, and it’s only through sucking for a long time that I’ve gotten to the point I am now. and I am far from perfect; I know I still have lots of room to grow!
for meta and headcanons specifically, I started with writing fic, and then when I didn’t think I could stretch something into an entire fic I would just make a hc post. I have a vivid memory of writing my first meta in a notebook during driver’s ed because it was so goddamn boring and I had Thoughts about Tauriel and Thranduil!
in my experience, meta comes from having Opinions and wanting to share them and most importantly to back them up - you need to have sources! you need to have reasons! you need to have justification! otherwise it’s not meta, it’s a headcanon or an AU. which is fine!! I love hc/AU!!! but they are not the same as meta, and I’m a stickler for being accurate when it comes to meta. if you have sources and shit to back you up, that will help you build the confidence to share your meta.
sharing disinformation and passing it off as meta instead of just coming out and saying this is a headcanon/baseless theory/AU or whatever is such a fandom pet peeve of mine; it’s not bad for something to not be Accurate! you just have to have that disclaimer - and even when you’re writing meta, you’re offering an interpretation of the text, and you need to acknowledge that other interpretations also exist and are valid.
um. I hope this answers your questions? and sorry for basically word-vomiting my entire life story, lol. this post got long; the main reason I’ve written so much fic is because I really just cannot shut up for the life of me. sooo if you can tear of that filter of being shy and just. say shit. you can go so far~!
OH and one more thing - I can’t believe I almost forgot this - but part of being a writer is participating in the community. this is code for LEAVE A DAMN COMMENT IF YOU LIKE A FIC. that’s how I made most of my fandom friends before Discord! I follow @ao3feed-silmarillion and stalk that blog for new Silm fics; I read the ones that interest me and comment on them.
I know this is not really the most common way for folks to find fic but it’s so rewarding to interact with new fic, new writers, new commentors, new stories - you can find gems that don’t rise to the top of the kudos/bookmark lists; you become friends with your fellow writers; you can watch people grow and change; you support smaller content creators. yeah, you might not be getting Just The Best Stuff, but it’s so so so worth it!!
and if you make friends in the comment section of other people’s fic - I guarantee you some of them will go to your AO3 profile and check out your fic, too! and they’ll leave comments! this is a fic community, and that’s what I cherish about fandom most of all, tbh.
anyway - again - sorry for rambling so much, but I hoped this helped! feel free to send in another ask, or to come talk to me off anon if you’d like! and definitely send me your stuff if/when you decide to share it; I would love to support you!!! <3
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aidemint · 4 years
Text
𝐑𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐊𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐲𝐚 𝐔𝐛𝐮𝐲𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐢
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Word Count: 1781
Warnings: Mentions of smoking
__
I told myself I would stop smoking, for the sake of my own sanity. I'd already thrown out all the nicotine I had and invested the money in books. Judging by how many novels I'd bought with the new budget, it was a good decision. A step in the right direction, considering that I was a writer.
Sighing as I organized the pile of books on the floor, stacking them so they fit perfectly into my bookshelf, I grumbled as I fought the urge to go out and suck on my pipe. Maybe there were leftovers still stuck in there. Once I realized my thought process, I shouted and hurriedly stuffed the novels into their place and fumed. Stomping out the door, I wanted to do something to stop this toxic cycle.
I should do something different. There has to be something to do.
Maybe my horrible life was a byproduct of all the shitty decisions I made so far. My publishing company didn't fail me, at least. I couldn't say that my career was a total flop, and I had a consistent paycheck, but I just felt so damn sad and lonely all the time. Sure, I was whining, but it wasn't for no good reason.
Plus, it wasn't like I hated every single thing on the planet Earth, I was just in a rut. Motivation was fleeting and I didn't have enough energy to chase after it. Not without an excuse, at least. I spent my days tirelessly writing and working my ass off for deadlines. To think I once enjoyed writing -- that was a long time ago, when I was a child. I'd daydream for hours, weaving fantasies in my head like I was on mushrooms.
How I wished to get a glimpse of the old days, to feel what I felt way back when I wasn't like this. I was so sure I was going to die alone and miserable, since I broke all the old connections I had when I started my career. It wasn't part of the contract or anything, I just felt that if I were to be mature, then I should sever off my childhood -- drop it like a lizard to its cut-off tail.
My jaw clenched as I spotted my pipe on the ground. I picked it up, squinting in distaste, debating about whether I should or shouldn't go to the market to get another good smoke in. I could drown out my worries that way.
Scoffing at myself, I took the fragile wooden tube and broke it in half, tossing it into the bushes.
How stupid.
__
Two days later, I was still in that same mood. But instead of twiddling my thumbs and lounging around like some lazy pig, I tried to pick up a new hobby while still reminiscing at the old days.
Ah, to be young.
I sounded like some old geezer.
But I kept thinking.
I miss everyone.
__
A week passed and I could safely say I was in a better mood. My cravings weren't as bad, and I tended to chew on mint leaves rather than suck on that damn wooden pipe.
Maybe for this reason, the universe decided to gift me a surprise.
The invitation arrived by crow. I was outside, doing some garden work when that black bird flew in front of me, its beady eyes analyzing every single one of my features. For a moment, it seemed hesitant to come near, but the creature eventually hopped its way to my feet and dropped a note by them.
I could have imagined it, but it seemed as if the crow gave me a slight bow before flapping it great wings and flying away. Eyeing the rolled-up parchment carefully, I picked it up and unraveled it, curious to see what message was displayed inside.
(Y/N),
I hope this letter finds its way to you without interruption. It's been a long time since we've last spoken, so before we get to the technicalities, I'd like to know: how are you? Hopefully you're in a prosperous position, one of good wealth and balance. I remember you always went on about becoming a renowned poet, and I think you're quite close to achieving that dream. Just yesterday I bought one of your books, and the limericks and clever haikus are quite entertaining.
Anyways, the real reason I wrote to you so late in our relationship is that I've been meaning to see you again. The last time we met, if I recall it correctly, was ten years ago -- far too long of a time for friends to be separated, no?
During these years, I imagine that a lot has changed. You're out and about, pursuing your dream and accomplishing your wildest dreams. It's admirable, to say the least. Though my disability hinders the possibility of me becoming a sumo wrestler, I am doing better than expected (even though I live with that disappointment).
I've just realized, in the middle of my jest, the topic has suddenly shifted to me. It's unpleasant, seeing how little control I have over my words. Please accept my apology, (Y/N), as I don't expect you to become suddenly infatuated with my life, nor does the meeting represent a discussion about the current events happening in my little "circle."
I just truly want to catch up with you. One of my greatest wishes is to see you again after all these years. I've missed our kinship.
So please, I implore you to come. There will be a guide outside of your house an hour after this crow is delivered. Please do not be frightened by the methods taken to bring you to my estate -- I'm sure you understand based on our previous history together.
I'm looking forwards to our potential reunion.
- Kagaya Ubuyashiki
My teeth tugged at my bottom lip as I closed the scroll, feeling tears well up in my eyes. With a tidal wave of memories flooding back into my mind, I couldn't help but want to cry. Kagaya was one of the people that made my childhood worthwhile. I'd met him when I was eight, while he was nine. We spent our free time together, however small the amount was.
Despite being so young, we were always busy. I took advanced courses at home, tutored by poets and writers from across the community. My parents did all they could to help me on my way to success, which I was grateful for. I never knew what Kagaya did, as he always kept it a secret, but I appreciated him nonetheless. He seemed so mature, even at age nine.
The way he thought was like a philosopher. Whenever I showed him my work, he'd bring about inquiries that would dumbfound even the greatest of my masters. I wondered how he did it and always wanted to be like him -- diligent, thoughtful, understanding.
Even now as an adult, he never fails to blow me away with his humility.
Sighing once more as I swept the stray tears off of my face, I pocketed the scroll and continued to do my garden work until the guide came. I was just about done when a masked figure strolled up to my home and asked me if I was (Y/N) (L/N). In response, I nodded and exchanged greetings before hopping onto their back and being blindfolded by the figure.
"I hope Master already told you about the procedure," they muttered awkwardly, "It's to prevent information from leaking." I laughed lightly and waved the thought away. Too excited to see my old friend again, the commentary bounced off me like rain to an umbrella.
"It's a smart idea." With that, the guide hauled me onto their back and took off running along their designated path.
__
Once I could finally see again, I blinked for a couple moments to let my eyes adjust to the blinding light. Though my vision was blurry and I couldn't quite make out the scene in front of me, I sensed multiple presences waiting for me at the entrance to the estate. When I'd finally cleared all the fog out of my head, I felt myself instinctively draw in a small gasp.
There Kagaya was, standing in the middle of a group of colorful figures. He wore a small and docile smile, gently waving at me from a distance. I quickly thanked the guide as I slid off of their back and made my way over to him. The ravenette regarded me with a kind look, and spread his arms as a welcoming gesture.
All the world's noise seemed to come upon deaf ears the closer I got to him.
Though his lips moved and the trees rustled, all I could hear was the sound of my own heart beating, thrumming through my eardrums. The sound of the flowing of blood in my veins became more prominent as I got increasingly star-struck.
Was this reality? Or just another twisted dream that came back to haunt me?
I wanted to believe that it was real. I desperately prayed, in that moment, that this was real. Maybe in a few seconds I would wake up, breathing heavily, covered in sweat in my futon on the ground. Then I'd squeeze my eyes shut again, crying for the sweet dream to come back to me. But as my staggers became steadier, and those steady strides quickened, I had a newfound energy to hope.
To believe that my life wasn't so hopelessly lost.
When the tips of my fingers reached my friend's kimono, my heart blossomed. The silk seemed to greet my touch like they already knew each other, despite the sensation being so foreign. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I wanted to collapse onto the ground and sob until my eyes fell out of their sockets.
To think that the connections hadn't been severed, but rather weakened, was the greatest relief I'd ever experienced. It spurred me to think that maybe I could reconnect with the outside world rather than keep to myself all the time.
The possibility of not being alone and feeling a socially ambiguous made my insides tingle with excitement -- with childish wonder. There was someone who still cared for me, who still waited for me all these years, who was kind enough to reach out and contact me, the recluse, the hermit.
When I fell into his arms, breathless, I closed my eyes and finally smiled.
I could smile again.
And be thankful.
And finally feel like I was somebody.
I couldn't have asked for anything more.
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a-dorin · 4 years
Text
under the same stars | darth maul
word count: 2,406
warnings: cursing
a/n: hi! this was something i have been wanting to do for a looonnnggg time. sorry if my writing is poor in the first chapter, the set-up is always the hardest part. a lot of the plot in this chapter is driven by the dialogue. this is chapter one (more will come in the future if it does well!) 
let me know if you want to be tagged! 
summary: august moor, a padawan in training under the jedi master qui-gon, ponders the meaning of the title jedi. she finds herself in a mysterious encounter with none other than the sith lord, darth maul. 
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the sun dipped below the horizon, casting an orange glow over coruscant. a young woman strolled through a meadow, grateful for the summer breeze as it rolled through the grass. the surrounding forest was a variety of green hues, the trees lush with life. the moon was high in the sky, waxing towards a full moon. soon, the stars would be out, dancing across the night. soon, the shades of lilac, burgundy, cyan, and tangerine would be replaced by a rich navy blue.
the stars glittered above, beginning to dot the sky. the girl's lips curved into a smile as her fingertips brushed the blades, contentment flooding her senses. the girl felt as ease, her mind relaxed. there was nothing more she loved than stargazing after an exhausting day of training. 
"where do you think you're running off to?" a voice called out in the dusk. 
the girl turned, her brows furrowed, "and who do you think you are, obi-wan kenobi? you are not my master."
"i am aware," the padawan chuckled, "you're never one to do things like this. is there something on your mind?" 
"i can't have fun?" the girl teased, nudging obi-wan. 
"well," a light blush tinged obi-wan's cheeks, "i didn't mean to come off as rude. my deepest apologies to you, august.
august stifled a giggle, "there's no need for such formalities here, obi-wan. we're not in font of the jedi council, nor master qui-gon."
a shy smile formed on the padawan's lips as he admired august momentarily. her eyes were focused on the stars, as they were beginning to twinkle as the sky transitioned to a deep shade of blue. the moon was full, casting a glow on their surroundings. the light softened her features, yet it did not take away from her beauty. 
her brunette hair was woven into an intricate half-down, half-up style.  free strands of hair swayed along with the breeze, her blue eyes glimmering. obi-wan swallowed thickly, careful not to stare a second longer. her eyes shifted, falling on the padawan. 
"you're quiet tonight. is there something on your mind?"
"no," obi-wan shook his head, "i believe i am just a little spent from today's training."
"qui-gon did a number on you, huh?" august smirked, shooting obi-wan a wink.
obi-wan scoffed, folding his arms across his chest, "we trained in the same temple today, if you don't remember."
august laughed once more, falling to the cool grass. she gazed the stars, a wisftul smile painting her features, "are you going to stargaze with me or are you going to run back to the temple and inform master qui-gon that i snuck off?" 
the padawan laid in the grass, close to august. his eyes drifted up towards the sky, widening in awe at the beauty of the constellations dancing above him. 
august piped up, her voice warm and soft, "you know, my parents used to tell me stories about fallen jedi. how they join with the stars after they pass away. i truly believe that the jedi are always keeping a close eye over us, while also letting us know that they are not too far out of reach."
"were your parents jedi?" obi-wan inquired, a slight wave of shame wash over him. he did not want to pry too much without being too nosy. 
"fuck no," august yawned, "both of my parents are alive and well, settled on the planet of takodana. my home planet is naboo, but they have moved since my training began. i have not seen them since i was about seven years old. we haven't spoken since."
"it seems as if i got you beat," a sigh escaped from obi-wan's lips, "i was taken as a youngling when i was only three years old."
"three years old?" august rolled over, propping herself up with her elbow, "holy shit kenobi. that's ridiculous."
"do you realize how often the jedi council take younglings?" obi-wan arched a brow, "once they can sense that they are force sensitive, the youglings are often newborns or infants."
"oh," august widened her eyes, "that's.."
"it is quite intriguing," he sucked in a breath, "yet, it is for the greater good of the jedi. once the council is aware of their abilities, it is best they start training as early as possible. the more skilled we are, the better."
"you're such a pushover," august snorted, rolling her eyes, "do you ever wonder if the jedi are always the divine beings they claim they are?"
"you're beginning to worry me," obi-wan retorted, "you're talking like a sith, august."
"i am just speaking what's on my mind," she exhaled, rolling onto her back once more, "you don't ever think about what would happen if you didn't seek the route of a jedi? if you were just a normal, ordinary being on your home planet? don't those thoughts keep you up late at night? do you ever just ponder?"
"there really is more to you than meets the eye," the padawan observed, "however, you must recall that jedi who are one with the force do not chose whether or not we possess these capabilities. we are born with them, as we are chosen by the force to bring balance to the universe."
august groaned, "spare me the bullshit, obi-wan. you sound more and more like qui-gon every day."
"is that such a bad thing?" obi-wan arched a brow. 
"i'm just so tired of all of this mumbo-jumbo bullshit about the jedi and all of the regulations we have to follow," she snorted, "it's all so pointless and for what? to hold some title because we're gifted with capabilities that others do not have?"
"you are quite opinionated tonight," he chuckled, "august, i am sure with time we will understand the ways of the jedi. for now, it is beyond our control. for now, if it does not offend you, i am going to retire to my quarters for rest. we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."
"yeah, yeah," august waved a hand, "just ignore all of my rambles. thank you for listening though. goodnight, obi-wan kenobi. may you find comfort in knowing that you will keep following the rules. meanwhile, i'll be here."
obi-wan rose to his feet, "goodnight august, may you find peace in your thoughts."
august only hummed in response, her eyes following a comet as it blazed across the skyline. the tail was a flashing white. memories drifted into her mind, taking over the thoughts of the present. two individuals towered over her, their faces blurred. she stiffened, her veins ice cold as she witnessed one of the beings pick her up, handing her over to an unknown shadow.
august let out a scream, tears streaming down her cheeks. her mind buzzed, thoughts of agony and despair filtering through her skull. an empty feeling consumed her, her heart racing. the world felt so cold. so cruel. why was this happening? why was this happening now? 
august blinked, her breathing coming in short, ragged breaths. the meadow was now crumbling away. squeezing her eyes shut, she shook her head desperately trying to shake away the horrible, gut-wrenching emotions. opening her eyes, a new environment surrounded her. 
her eyes met with a marble floor, her nose brushing against the surface. the marble was a rich black, the air in the room sterile. august blinked once more, realizing that she was in a training room. sacks full of an unknown material hung around the room, as if they were punching bags. 
widening her eyes, august's heart stopped at the sight before her. a zabrak wielded two sabers, a faint hum reverberating off the walls as he practiced his technique. his muscles rippled under his crimson and black skin, horns adorning the top of his skull. strings of curses tumbled from his lips, a planet in which august had no translation. 
"h-hello?" august squeaked, her voice quiet. 
the zabrak ceased all movement, turning abruptly, the sabers in his grasps pointed in the august's face. his amber eyes blazed with fury, his words a snarl, "who are you? how did you get in here?"
"i do not mean any harm," august yelped, raising her hands in surrender. she could feel the heat radiated off the blades of the sabers. 
the zabrak inhaled, the girl's sweet scent flooding his nostrils. he sensed a trace of wildflowers and grass, "you're not from around here, are you?"
"you're v-very right," august stuttered, "i am not from around here."
his eyes scanned the space, searching for any sign of entrance. the only possible way the girl could have gotten in was through the use of a saber, as the door was to his right. she appeared in the room from the left, "where did you come from?"
"i am from coruscant," the mysterious girl mumbled. 
the zabrak's lips curled into a sinister grin, flashing his incisors, "i cannot believe it. a jedi has fallen directly into my hands. what should i do with you?"
"i am no jedi," the girl sneered, folding her arms over her chest. 
the sincerity in her statement sparked interest within the zabrak. turning his sabers off, he slid them into their holsters. cocking his head, his eyes narrowed, "you're not with the jedi, yet you come from coruscant?"
"i am only training to become one," the girl averted the zabrak's gaze. 
"i am maul," the zabrak sat on the floor, curiosity getting the best of him, "what's your name?"
"my name is august moor," the girl replied, tucking a strand behind her ear, "i'm not sure how i ended up here."
maul closed his eyes, reaching out to august. his breath hitched in his throat, as her emotions consumed him entirely. he could sense her fear, her anxiety, "you're anxious. why are you anxious?"
"because i don't know who you are and how i ended up here!" august scoffed, her tone indignant. 
maul opened his eyes, noticing august's features for the first time. her skin was pale, with undertones of pink, a blush tinging her cheeks. her eyes were a shade of gray, hints of blue swimming within their depths. her brunette hair was down, with a braid woven around her head. strands of hair poked up, more than likely from a fall. 
although she was sitting, maul couldn't help but notice her curves, her thighs full. it was without a doubt that she was beautiful, even if maul didn't know a single thing about her. she was donned in a grey tunic, royal blue fabric wrapped around her chest. 
"don't be scared," maul murmured, "i am just as confused as you are."
august's eyes widened as she noticed the amber eyes of the zabrak, a ring of crimson around his irises. she swallowed thickly, recalling one truth she learned during her early days of training, "you're a sith, aren't you?"
"i am," maul dipped his head, "you happened to interrupt my training."
"you train in solitude?" august arched a brow. 
"sometimes," maul shrugged, his eyes glancing around the room, "my master is away, on a mission."
"maul," his name was enticing as it tumbled from her lips, "why haven't we killed one another yet?"
her question shocked him. yet, it was a question burning through his mind, consuming his thoughts as he spoke to her. the sith and jedi had been quarreling for years, yet, when he laid his eyes on her, he couldn't help but feel compelled to reach out to her. to touch her. to hold her. hold her in his arms and never let her go. 
what had brought august here? was it the force? even as a sith, the force was a powerful entity to the zabrak. it was something he had yet to understand, to fully comprehend. maybe the force had brought them together, but the question that rang through maul's mind was why? why had the force brought them together?
"i just as unsure as you are," maul's voice was low, eerily quiet. 
"should we touch and see what happens?" august inquired, her eyes curious. 
"i guess we could explore that option," he rumbled, his crimson and black hand reaching out, "although, i'm not quite sure what will happen if we do. the world around us might implode."
august reciprocated, her hand tiny compared to the zabrak's. however, once skin came in contact with skin, their worlds went back. august shot up, her heart thudding in her chest as she glanced around the meadow, feeling as if the entire incident was just a dream. a wild, vivid, intense dream. rising to her feet, she took a hesitant step through the grass, her knees wobbling. the moon was high in the sky, signaling that a few hours had past. 
meanwhile, a zabrak rose to his feet, a dull throbbing in his skull. his muscles ached, sore from hours of combat training. he let out a few, ragged breaths, attempting to clear his cloudy mind. the encounter with the padawan must have been a nightmare, or rather, an interesting daydream. whatever it was, his master, darth sidious could never hear about this. he could never find the truth. yet, when darth maul strolled down the corridor of his ship, a feeling of loneliness unraveled. he couldn't help but feel an engrained feeling of sadness, laced with regret. 
glancing out the viewport, maul gazed at the horizon stretched before him. an endless array of stars glittered, shining bright. 
huffing, august shivered as another breeze rolled through the meadow, the chill seeping through her clothing. yet, she couldn't help but give the sky above her once last look, taking in the way the stars twinkled. 
two lost souls stared at the stars, wondering if the other knew. 
august slipped underneath her sheets, her eyelids heavy. she dozed off, dreaming of her encounter from earlier. the meeting was a pure coincidence. surely there was no driving force behind it. it was all a simple daydream or fever dream. 
darth maul felt exhaustion rack his body, almost collapsing to the floor. he was tired, as he practiced combat technique for hours. yet, this was a new wave of sleep overcomig him. the zabrak crawled to his bed, dreaming about his interaction with the padawan. more than anything, he wanted to permanently ingrain the image of her in his memories, her beauty captivating. 
a sith and padawan's paths intertwined, under the same stars.
tagged: @smokahuntis​ @petalsrdead​ @sscreeching​ @thekarliwinchester​ @witchy-goth-unicorn​ @damienmoonart​ @marblegoblin​ @obiorbenkenobi​ @queen-disera-the-fifth​ @monets-corner​ @shytastemakerthing​
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confused-android · 4 years
Text
Day 16, Dirk - Dance
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Dirk leans up against the bar, a pint in one hand, and looks around the room with wide eyes. It's already a week into the semester, but students are out in full force, and they are --
Well, they are something, that's for sure.
It's not his first time consuming alcohol -- Steve had already taken care of that their first week together -- but it's his first time in a bar, and it is fascinating. It's loud and there is music playing, and the booths and high tops are full, and the seats in front of the bar are full, and there are even people shoved up between the seats at the bar, all trying to get the bartender's attention. Steve had gotten Dirk's beer for him, and Dirk is drinking it slowly. It's not the most enjoyable flavor, but he likes the lingering bitterness on his tongue, and the heady feeling that being halfway through the pint is giving him. Steve is in the long line for the toilets, and so Dirk is watching the students exist in the manner that students in a bar exist.
He's twenty-one, probably, so he's a few years older than most of the people around him. They're all eighteen and nineteen and desperate to be drunk. (Most of the third and fourth year students have finished desperately drinking alcohol at the beginning of the term, and are saving it for the end of the term when they need it most.) It's strange, being a few years older than all of his classmates. They know far more than he does about the world, and about being a student, and how to be -- be -- be people. But he knows more about how things can go poorly, and what it's like not having somewhere warm to sleep, or food to eat, or someone to trust.
Not that he knows every single student's backstory. Some of them might know similar things to him. But none of them are looking over their shoulders, or watching the doors, or jumping when someone comes up behind him. 
"Cjelli," says a voice, and a hands claps his shoulder. Dirk jumps.
"Oh!" he shouts, and drops his pint glass, and whips around. It's Steve, and he's grinning broadly, madly, and Dirk sucks in a gasp and tries to force his shoulders to relax. "Oh," he says again, a little more quietly, and stoops to pick up his empty glass. There's a puddle of Guinness by his feet and he frowns down at it, slightly bereft at its loss, and guilty at the mess.
"Fuck," Steve says, and crowds closer to Dirk. "I'm sorry, I forgot you don't like that shit. Can I get you another?"
Dirk wants to protest, knows that the second round is, by tradition, his to buy, but he's low on pocket money for the week. He needs to take some time to wander Cambridge and find a few lost cats to return for reward money, but he's swamped in his classes, and doesn't really have the time to randomly stroll about and wait for a cat to come running up to him, either demanding affection or scratching the shit out of him. "Yes," he says to Steve, pathetically grateful. "I would like another. I think I liked this one."
"Good, that's good," Steve enthuses. "When you didn't like the cider, I worried that you weren't a beer man, but you're a Guinness lad, and that's excellent."
He shoulders his way up to the bar and flags down the bartender easily, orders two pints and two shots of whiskey. "Both for you?" Dirk asks, curious.
"Nah," Steve says. "Time for you to taste whiskey, too." He slides Dirk's pint and his shot over, and they clink rims. Steve downs his shot in one swallow, then moves to his pint. Dirk takes a cautious sip of the whiskey and shoots a wounded look at Steve.
"Burns!" he squawks, and Steve bursts out laughing, almost spits his beer on Dirk's jacket.
That's the thing about Steve. Or, about Steve with Dirk. He's incredibly kind to Dirk, buys him drinks and shows him around the city and explains social mores to him, and how to get a hold of his advisor. In return, it seems, Steve has a front row seat to The Dirk Show. Every time Dirk trips over his own feet, or has to climb into their dorm room through the window, or accidentally insults an entire gaggle of instructors, Steve is right there, laughing along with Dirk. Or, sometimes, at Dirk. Dirk thinks maybe Steve thinks that Dirk can't tell when he's being laughed at, but he can. It's more that he doesn't really mind. And Steve is his roommate, and hasn't let him sleep in the street or get too lost, so it seems very worth it to provide the entertainment that he knows is being had, largely at his expense.
"You have to swallow it all in one go," Steve says, when he's managed to stop laughing. "There's whiskey that tastes good to sip, but this is shit. You're just meant to drink it quickly, get it over with."
"Why?" Dirk wonders, but he answers his own question in unison with Steve. "That's just how you do it." Steve says that a lot, when he's teaching Dirk things. Dirk wonders, vaguely, how often Steve is lying, but doesn't bother dwelling on it. As it stands now, Steve is the closest thing he has to a friend, so he'll believe him until he has a reason not to.
Dirk takes a deep breath to steel himself and throws the rest of the shot back. It burns his mouth again, but this time he swallows quickly and follows it up with a hurried gulp of the beer, feels it etch a pathway down his throat. He coughs a few times and glares up at Steve, but looks slightly less betrayed this time. "Ugh," he says finally. "I'm not doing that again." He shakes his head firmly and turns back to the beer.
By the time he's halfway through this pint, though, the beer and the whiskey have done their jobs, and Dirk is well on his way to inebriated. Not quite hand in hand with drunk, perhaps, but he's met tipsy and buzzed and already passed them by. Soused is walking near to him and looks to be making a daring approach.
He's not the only one, either. The bar full of students are excited to have found Friday night, and are doing their best to keep the bartender busy. The volume of music is rising with the energy, and the room is packed. Dirk feels lucky to have a stool by the bar to perch on, even if Steve is crammed up in front of him and other patrons keep shoving right up behind him to order drinks. At some point, one of Steve's friends comes by and orders chips, and Dirk snags a few of them. They soak up the beer and the whiskey and the nerves, all of them mixing in the bottom of his stomach, and he feels rather good. At one point though, he looks over Steve's shoulder and must make some kind of face because Steve looks behind himself, then back to Dirk, and says, "alright there?"
"Hm?" says Dirk. "Oh yes, I'm very well, thank you. I'm just wondering what's going on back there."
Steve turns to look again, and then to Dirk. "What's going on where?"
Dirk gestures vaguely, his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. "You know, the weird moving thing that's going on. With the – the – the girls in pink and green and brown. With their arms and their legs and their bums."
Steve asks, "the ones dancing?"
Dirk says, "no, they're not dancing. They're just moving in time to the music."
"…that's dancing, Dirk."
"You're joking."
Steve looks at Dirk like Dirk is the one joking. Only, Dirk knows what dancing is. He used to do it with his mother, when he was very young. When they lived together, and when she was still alive, and when he was still happy. This is not that. He tells Steve, "dancing is when you hug someone and you sway. This isn't that."
"That's a kind of dancing," Steve says near to patiently. "But any way you move your body to any kind of music, that's dancing."
Dirk lifts one hand off the bar and waves it back and forth. "Is this dancing then?"
"Don't be a twat," Steve says, but he looks genuinely uncertain as to whether Dirk is being a twat, or actually doesn't know what dancing is. "It's a little more than that. With your, I dunno. Your body."
Dirk wiggles his body on the stool where he's sitting and looks up at Steve with quizzical eyebrows. Steve shrugs and nods halfway. Dirk wiggles a little more and slides off the bar stool, and Steve laughs at him again, only Dirk laughs also this time, because it is pretty funny that he slid off the bar stool, right? He lets Steve take his place, so the seat isn't lost to someone they don't know, and Dirk peers over the crowd to the bunch of girls who are dancing, again. He tries to do what they're doing, which is mostly just shifting their bodies with the beat of some boppy Europop song that Dirk is about to become obsessed with, and swooshing their arms through the air. It works, sort of, in that Dirk feels a little silly, but also a lot happy. He thinks that if dancing is just about moving with music, it's probably also about being happy.
"Am I doing it?" he asks Steve. "Am I dancing?"
"Yeah, you're dancing, mate," Steve says. He has kind of a funny look on his face, but it doesn't seem like he's setting Dirk up for some kind of punch line, so Dirk just lets himself move and sway and swoosh to the music. It's fun. It's really fun, actually! The alcohol in his system is making him feel free and light and a little unsteady, and the music is making him feel energetic and engaged, and everything is kind of incredible! He's at university! He has a bed of his own, and a room with one other person, but the door is never locked from the outside! He gets food every single evening, and he's allowed to keep snacks under his bed, as long as they're in a plastic tub (as the Porter came around and told him that). He can even choose to not go to classes! Not that he should do that very often, or ever. But he can choose to, if he wants! And he can be silly or absurd, like he's being right now! He's – he's dancing!
It won't be his last time dancing, that's for sure. And somehow, that thought is as comforting as it is exciting. He can dance whenever he wants!
“Steve!” he says. “Dance with me!”
“No way,” Steve says, finishing off the rest of Dirk’s pint. Dirk would be indignant, but he’s pretty sure that he’s had enough alcohol for tonight, and Steve seems to need more than he does. 
“But it’s really fun,” Dirk informs him, quite earnestly. “I’m just moving my body, and it’s lovely!”
“Yeah, Dirk,” Steve says. “I’ve done it before. Everyone’s done it before. Except you, because you’re from some extremely weird shit.”
“I am!” Dirk says. “I am from some extremely weird shit, You have no idea how weird my shit is from. So dance with me!”
Steve looks like that connection makes no sense to him, and he shakes his head, but he looks marginally less sure this time. Dirk grabs Steve’s hand, large and a little too warm, and tugs him forward. Steve resists for a moment longer, then grabs his jacket and throws it on the stool, looks hopefully at it, as if it will save the seat from being taken by some wobbly undergraduate. And then he’s standing in front of Dirk, and Dirk is beaming madly. “Yes!” he says. “Yes! This is amazing! Dance with me!”
Steve rolls his eyes tolerantly, but he moves, just a little bit. He sways from side to side, hemmed in by crowds of people looking to drink and socialize, and he dances with Dirk. Dirk crows in victory, and then he’s dancing with Steve. He wonders, deep inside his chest, where his hope lives, if this might be what having a friend is like. He hopes Steve will become his friend and that they will dance together every Friday night. 
He likes this a lot.
-----------------------
Link to: day one, Farah - Youth day two, Farah - Dance day three, Farah - Gore day four, Farah - GNC fashion day five, Farah - AU day six, Farah - Family (to be written) day seven, Farah - Pride (to be written) day eight, Todd - Youth (to be written) day nine, Todd - Dance (to be written) day ten, Todd - Gore day eleven, Todd - GNC Fashion day twelve, Todd - AU day thirteen, Todd - Family day fourteen, Todd - Pride (to be written) day fifteen, Dirk - Youth
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twiceblackvelvet · 4 years
Text
Dreams
pt. i. pt.ii. pt.iii. pt.iv.
April 15th, 2022. 13:42 AM. Los Angeles.
California sunshine, there’s nothing like it. Sure, it all beams down from the same star no matter where you are in the world. But there’s something different about the atmosphere. People don’t care here if you’re parading around in a cropped shirt that shows off more skin than you’d usually be comfortable with. They are too wrapped up in their own socially driven lives to bother you in passing unless they recognize you. Then it’s time to whip out the phone to selfie mode in hopes it gains them a few extra likes than usual. Wendy doesn’t mind, it’s only happened twice, but she’s accepted it as part of the package.
When people say Los Angeles is the city of dreams, they mean it. That’s mainly why she finds herself strolling down the busy street with boutique clothing stores galore and people riding around on skateboards, enjoying their lives however they wish to do so. The freedom to explore your dreams in the place that either makes you or breaks you being all too tempting. But, Wendy is determined to be one of the few souls that soar and reach the goal they set out to achieve when they arrived here, rather than let the city suck her dry and toss her aside as it has done to many others.
It’s been eight months since she packed up her things and moved here. Many of her friends back in Korea told her she’d regret it or that she’d be better off staying and never trying to break into the music scene in the US, but Wendy has always been a free spirit, unable to follow what could be the safe path and instead aiming for what she truly wants. That’s how she ended up in Red Velvet. She could have stayed in Canada all of those years ago, become a doctor or a lawyer, but she knew it wouldn’t have fulfilled her. 
Singing just comes naturally. Without music, she’d be a shell of a person and definitely not in the position she finds herself in today. 
After working non-stop for what feels like forever, sleeping in the studio rather than her fancy apartment she paid more for than she’d like to admit, and refusing to acknowledge the outside world, today is the day. Today, the world has been invited to listen to her first full album. Some last-minute changes to cater to Yeri suddenly backing out of appearing as a song-writer and producer were a little stressful to deal with,  but luckily her team eventually agreed to remove the song. Though, if you ask them, being subjected to the torture of a grumpy Wendy who they’d grown used to being bright and fun is something no one should have to deal with, ever.
Before every release with Red Velvet, all the girls would have their own individual ways of preparing for it and calming their nerves. However, being alone now means Wendy can no longer practice hers, which was to focus on everyone else to distract herself from her own thoughts. Thus, the impromptu walk through the blistering streets and people watching is the only thing that feels appropriate. It also stops her from worrying about no one buying it and her hard work going to waste. 
She misses four faces specifically whilst wandering. 
“Oh my god, Wendy?” A shrill voice yells from behind her but before she’s even turned a full 180 degrees, arms are around her neck and wrapping her up into a crushing hug. “It is you, it’s been so long!” 
Had it been anyone else or had she been unable to recognize the voice, it’s very possible that the random strangers passing by would have been instructed to call the police immediately. Thankfully, it’s not someone trying to attack her, well, unless you count affection as an attack, Wendy doesn’t. 
“Tiffany, hey! It’s been forever.” She chokes out, arms still around her throat, making it difficult to speak. 
No one bats an eyelid at the two girls admiring each other mere inches away from each other, though it feels like someone should be there to capture the moment, at least for fans to gush about. Wendy takes a moment to look at Tiffany. Her skin appears to be glowing more than the last time she’d caught up with her. She looks healthy… happy. It’s a breath of fresh air to see someone from her world here alongside her and not seemingly a broken shell of a person. 
“You look amazing, wow! What are you doing here?” Tiffany asks, her voice still far too loud for a conversation in the middle of a busy street, not that Wendy minds.
“I live here now.” She replies bluntly, though, her conscious reminds her for a split second that even though neither of them is in Korea anymore, Tiffany is still a senior to her. Her tone softens naturally before continuing. “I came here after… well, you know.” 
Tiffany nods in understanding, though her eyes show sadness for a split second. There’s no need for either of them to discuss the split of her group, Tiffany herself understands what it’s like to be apart from the very people you spent a huge portion of your life alongside.
“So, what are you up to?” The lack of words between them both makes Wendy blurt out, also, so Tiffany can stop looking at her so pitifully. “I’m on my way to grab a coffee if you want to join me? Catch-up?”
Though it was presented as a question and is a heat of the moment change of plans from what she was doing which was nothing, in particular, Wendy is grateful for this distraction that Tiffany has given her without knowing she has. 
In the blink of an eye, Tiffany has linked their arms together and is dragging her halfway down the street to what she assures her is by far the best place for something way better than coffee.
When they arrive outside of an organic pop-up store that only serves vegan food and uses all non-dairy products, Wendy isn’t surprised. She’s read reviews about this kind of place lately, though she’s never ventured to any of them, deciding that the hype about buckwheat tea and the likes can’t be real. However, she’s been roped into this now and has no choice but to try something once they reach the counter.
“I’ve never been here before, what do you recommend?” She aims toward Tiffany, however, it gains the attention of the young woman stood near the till waiting patiently to take their order.
“The watermelon lemonade is popular, miss.” The girl whose nametag reads Olivia responds. 
Her face is trying its best to put on a smile, though, Wendy summarizes quickly that Olivia does not have an accent that sounds like she’s from California originally, likely moved here to be an actress and just never received an opportunity to do so. Thus, she’s stuck putting on a different act, pretending to be enthusiastic about serving drinks to people that will “cleanse” them.  To put politely.
“I guess I’ll go for that then.” Both Wendy and Tiffany offer her a smile before she darts off to prepare their drinks.
Tiffany tries to pay. Wendy won’t let her. They both try their best to be stubborn about it, however, Wendy somehow wins this round and thanks the heavens that Olivia is a lot better at her job than she expected as no sooner does she leave to make their order, she returns with two recyclable cups in tow. They sit outside and drink what Wendy reluctantly admits is a delicious watermelon lemonade whilst getting re-acquainted with one another. 
Small talk is all that they engage in at first. Politely asking about each other’s families, if they’ve been up to anything special lately. Wendy doesn’t mention the album release, she’s not sure why. Tiffany tells her about how she will be on tour soon and how Wendy should come to one of her shows so they can sing together. Wendy agrees. The mood turns rather solemn when they reminisce on how young they both were when they first began their careers and everything they’ve been through in the music industry.
“Do you like it here?” Tiffany’s voice is soft and her face serious, something that Wendy is unsure she’s ever seen from her before.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s nothing like what I’m used to but that’s a good thing,” Wendy answers, surprised by her own honesty. “It’s nice to not feel judged and that it’s okay if I make a mistake. If I mess up something here, people don’t seem to mind so long as I’m willing to learn from it. It’s not like that… there.” Wendy wants to say home, but she’s not sure if she can call it home for either of them anymore.
“I know what you mean. There’s a lot more freedom out here.” 
A comfortable silence falls between them, both pondering all the times they’d gotten on the bad side of people for whatever reason, big or small. Both being grateful that they still made it here, whilst some others are less fortunate.
Tiffany pulls out her phone to check the time, standing to place her cup in the recycling bin before turning back to Wendy, a lopsided smile on her face.
“Give me your number, I have somewhere I need to be but we should hang out again soon.” 
Wendy obliges, it’d be nice to have a friend here. Someone who understands her. She finishes typing in her number and hands the device back to Tiffany who has pulled sunglasses with a huge frame out of thin air seemingly to place on her face.
“Hey, I know that things may seem a lot better here, and… they can be. But just keep your guard up. The music business is shady everywhere, it doesn’t matter where you are.” Tiffany gently rubs a hand down Wendy’s arm as she speaks. It's not as comforting as she probably believes it is. Whilst she doesn’t say whether she’s speaking from personal experience, Wendy assumes so and appreciates the advice.
"I will, thank you. Let's meet up soon!"
Tiffany turns on her heels to strut back down the street they walked down to get the juice that Wendy realizes now has made her nausea even worse. She watches her for a few steps before she turns back in place to holler in her booming voice that is way more fitting than the serious one just seconds ago.
“Congratulations on the album too.” 
Wendy is stuck in place, jaw agape with confusion. Though she's happy that they didn't end up talking about it, she's slightly worried about how Tiffany knows about it without her mentioning it at all during their catch-up.
“How did y-” Wendy tries to ask but is cut off by an already leaving Tiffany who throws her a response over her shoulder.
“Check the charts, Seungwan.”
to be continued; here
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calpalirwin · 5 years
Text
Snapshots and Snapbacks
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Summary: It’s easy to flirt with someone when you don’t expect them to call your bluff
A/N: College!Cal
Content: Sexual situations/mentions, mentions of drinking/drugs, my usual bullshit
Word Count: 10.3K
And away, and away we go!
~~~
The first time Brooke saw Calum she almost gasped out loud. There was no way a young man could be that pretty. Then he spoke and her heart raced in her chest.
She spent most of that semester staring at the pretty boy with the prettier handwriting rather than the board.
When the semester ended, she had exchanged only a handful of words with Calum, but that didn’t matter. She hoped their paths would cross again and that she would be braver about pursuing a friendship at the very least.
Two semesters later, having nearly forgotten about the pretty boy who was held her interest a year ago, he strolled into her last class of the day, and her smile broke out in a wide grin. “Cal!” she waved, motioning to the empty desk next to her as all those feelings that had laid dormant bubbled to the surface once more. “Missed ya man!”
“Shit, what up, girl?” he smiled back, bro-slapping her hand in greeting. “Was starting to think you graduated.”
“Nah,” she laughed with a shake of her head, her hand tingling from the feel of his palm against hers. “Last semester, though.”
“Shit, look at you go!” he praised.
“Thank you, thank you,” she continued to laugh, brushing imaginary dirt off her shoulders, grinning when his laugh joined hers.
~~~
Her hand reached into her bag of pretzels at the same time a Vans-clad foot shoved the leg of her desk chair. “Pst!” Calum whispered loudly, giving her desk another nudge. “Pst!”
She turned slightly in her desk to look at him, his eyes crinkling around the edges from the wide grin on his face. She tilted her chin upwards in a silent question of “What?” and stifled a laugh when he held his hand out and pouted. She laughed quietly, shaking her head as she dumped some pretzels in his waiting hand, both of them stifling more laughs as the bag crinkled in the dark and quiet classroom.
That would not be the last class he stole her snacks, thereby deeming himself Cal the Snack Thief. She damn near lost in when she brought Teddy Grahams and he let out the loudest moan stuffing them into his mouth with a “I haven’t had these in FOREVER!”
~~~
“Hey, you stole my shirt,” she joked, pointing between the shirts they were both wearing: a grey NASA tee.
“Nah,” he grinned. “Bet I had mine longer, so technically you stole mine.”
She chuckled as she took her seat. “Fair, very fair.”
“Where’s your hat?” he asked, noticing the blonde streaks in her brown hair for the first time, wondering if she always had them as she always had her hair hidden by a hat.
She pushed a hand through her hair, the blonde more noticeable as her hair flashed under the lights. “Oh, I wore a beanie today cuz it was cold. But I took it off because it made me look like shit.”
“Has it ever occurred to you that it was you making the beanie look like shit, not the other way around?” he asked teasingly.
She reached over to give his shoulder a push. “Shut up, you jerk,” she laughed before swiping the hat he wore on his own head and putting it on her head. “There, now I have my hat,” she said, sticking out her tongue at him.
Calum let out a small gasp of disbelief. Unbeknownst to her, Calum also liked Brooke. He liked that she was quick-witted in every aspect; that she could go from voicing the most complexly profound thoughts to giving the snarkiest of retorts. And he’d be lying if he said that every time she mouthed off didn’t stir his dom side wild. Like now. She continued to smirk at him before turning to face forward in her desk, her hands coming to rest cockily behind her neck, fingers interlacing. He leaned forward and snatched his hat off her head. “Shouldn’t take things that don’t belong to us, Brooke,” he breathed in her ear, getting smug satisfaction at the way she shivered.
But then, that bratty look was on her face as she turned in her seat to fire back with “Says you, snack thief.”
~~~
She heard the footsteps running up behind her before Calum was letting loose a scream behind her. She laughed and pushed his shoulder, laughing more as he stumbled over his feet. “You scared me, you jerk!”
“Yeah?” he asked, his brown eyes shining proudly.
“No,” she admitted, pushing him again. “I heard you, dumbass. If you had grabbed me though, I probably would’ve screamed.”
“Aw, shit. I had my headphones in, forgot you could hear me running.”
“You idiot,” she chuckled, pushing him a third time while he danced away from her, half chuckles falling from his own lips.
“Skip with me,” he directed.
“Skip with you?”
“Yeah! C’mon!” And then he was skipping down the sidewalk. She laughed and followed suit. God, how he could be so cute and dorky while being sexy as hell was beyond her. And totally unfair.
“So, where you headed?” she asked as they stopped skipping and fell into a relaxed walking pace.
His shoulders shrugged as he gripped his backpack straps. “Was gonna play some pool. Did you know we have a game center on campus? It’s fuckin’ sick.”
She rolled her eyes. “You really are an idiot.”
“What?”
“DiD yOu KnOw We HaVe A gAmE cEnTeR oN cAmPuS?” she mocked. “Of course we have a game center.”
“Well, shit, I didn’t know about it until Monday, okay Miss Smartypants? Shit…”
“I’m teasing, you goof. But, pool, huh?”
“Yeah, I’m not very good. But it’s a good way to kill some time.”
“Aw, don’t wanna go home?” she teased.
“Not to 3 dudes, I don’t!”
“Aw, roommates, how cute.”
“Yeah, I’m a broke ass college student. ‘Course I got roommates. You don’t?”
“Nope,” she answered, popping the “p” sound. “I’m a RA so I get a single at a discount.”
“Nice, look at you, baller.”
She shrugged. “It is what it is.”
“You mean you can have sex without anyone bothering you, you mean.”
She gasped in shock, “Calum!”
It was his turn to shrug as he grinned dangerously. “Am I wrong?” he challenged.
“That is none of your business, sir,” Brooke laughed, grateful it was dark out so he couldn’t she the blush in her cheeks.
“Aw, c’mon, we’re friends, aren’t we?”
“That we most definitely are,” she agreed, bypassing his original question. “And this is you,” she added, gesturing to the student center.
“This is me,” he confirmed. “See ya Monday, then?”
“Yeah, see ya in class,” she nodded. “Have fun.” Then, in a moment of bravery, she leaned for a hug.
His arm wrapped around her shoulders and she was slightly taken aback by the warm softness that radiated from such a strong arm. “See ya, girl,” he whispered as they broke apart.
By the time she let herself into her room, she had already sent him a friend request on Instagram and he had accepted.
~~~
Her fingers shook over her keyboard, the message chat open on her phone. She had been too shy to impose herself on his game of pool the other night. But he had said they were friends. Friends could play pool together.
Babbling_Brook: How’d playing pool by yourself go lol?
Calpal_hoodie: Lol! Actually one of the pool sharks in there came up to me and wanted to play some frames. It was a really good time.
Babbling_Brook: Oh shit that’s cool! We should play sometime before class lol. See if I still suck.
Her fingers shook with nerves as she waited for his message.
Calpal_hoodie: Haha down!
She let out a breath of relief. Good. He had agreed. Now to make it happen.
Babbling_Brook: Sick. I’m free before class for like 3 hours.
Calpal_hoodie: I have about an hour before.
Babbling_Brook: Sweet, I’ll be able to practice beforehand so I don’t make a total fool of myself lmao.
Calpal_hoodie: Lol! I’m nothing special, it’s okay
Babbling_Brook: We’ll see on Monday then who sucks more lmao
~~~
It was a slow drag to Monday and the impending date to shoot pool. It seemed to both like an eternity had taken place between Brooke’s last message Friday morning and her message Monday afternoon that included a picture of a pool table set up and waiting.
Babbling_Brook: Let’s go, playa!
Calpal_hoodie: I didn’t do the worksheet for class! After?
Her heart sank a little in her chest, but she wasn’t surprised her friend had procrastinated the idiotic assignment that was due every class.
Babbling_Brook: Do it in class lol
Calpal_hoodie: Lol! Sounds good! He doesn’t collect them until the end of class anyway.
Babbling_Brook: Exactly dude!
Calpal_hoodie: Dude! Did I tell you how I bought a new stick? Won’t be here til tomorrow though…
Babbling_Brook: Nice! Table’s set, btw.
“Oi! Over here!” Brooke called out across the room, recognizing that head of dark curls anywhere.
He broke out in a grin, as he hurried over to her. “What up, girl?” he asked, giving her a one-armed hug.
“Not much,” she said, gesturing to the pool table. “Wanna break?”
“Oh, we’re not playing 9-ball?” he asked, brown eyes scanning the table set up.
“No? Because I don’t know how?”
He nodded, placing the cue ball how he wanted, his pool cue sliding through his fingers. “After this, I’ll teach ya?” he asked, taking his shot, the balls clacking loudly, one sinking into a pocket.
She clicked her tongue in her cheek and nodded. “For sure.” Then, “I thought you were bad at this.”
He chuckled at her as he lined up his next shot. “I am. But I also watch a lot so…”
“Visual learner, nice,” she said, taking out her phone and snapping a picture of him leaning over the table. He missed and she moved around, plotting her own shot. “I learn by doing,” she admitted, taking her shot and missing. “Damn,” she muttered, shaking her head.
“Learn by doing, eh?” he smirked.
“Was about to turn that into a sex joke myself,” she laughed. Again, when he was busying himself with his turn, she snapped more photos of him. He quirked an eyebrow at her in silent question when he caught her on the third go-round. “What?” she asked, her cheeks flushing. “I like taking candids of my friends,” she half-lied, pocketing her phone. “I like capturing people in their element. Not posing for the camera or putting on a show. Just them being a hundred percent themselves.”
“Mhm,” he replied with a note of playful skepticism. Then, to make conversation, “You said you had a girlfriend, yeah?”
She laughed at the bold directness of the question. “What?! No!”
“No? Shit… I could’ve sworn… Aw, I’m so sorry!” he sputtered, his brown eyes wide and worried he had offended her. He was enveloping her in a hug before she knew it, his chest solid against her. “I love you! Don’t hate me!”
She laughed as they pulled apart. “I might have said I want a girlfriend, but I don’t actually have one. I wish.”
“You and me both,” he laughed. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to...”
She waved him off. “Seriously man, it’s cool. You’re half right. I’m bi. It’s really fun to piss guys off by saying I’ve made out with more girls than they have. I mean, I’ve only made out with 2 girls. But still. You’d be surprised how many guys haven’t even done that.”
He nodded in appreciation. “Sick. So was it a boyfriend, then, and I just misheard?”
“Well…” she paused to think about it. “I mean, I’m seeing someone.”
He nodded and she detected the way his face fell for a moment. His face fell more when he sunk the 8 ball in the pocket and the cue ball followed. “Shit, good game.”
She laughed. “Thanks! It’s almost like you did all the work for me!”
“It’s cuz I did,” he laughed with her. “Alright, so 9-ball,” he started to explain as he set up the table. “You play with 9 balls.”
“Mmm, kinky,” Brooke snorted. “Continue.”
He rolled his eyes at her joke. “And you go in order. As long as you hit the first number in the sequence first, you’re good.”
Their game made them a few minutes late to their class, both of them giggling as the sped-walked across the room. “No, sit in front of me,” he whispered as she took her regular set in the row beside him.
She rolled her eyes but moved anyway, giggling more before reaching into her backpack to grab her snack. She pushed it to the bottom edge of her desk so he could reach. “More pool after class? Or you got plans?” she whispered, leaning back in her seat.
“Yeah, I’m down for a few games,” he whispered back, his hand reaching into the bag of teddy bear shaped graham crackers. Then, “So, you’ve only ever made out with chicks, but have you…?”
She gasped at the question he left hanging between them. “Yes, I’ve had sex. But only with one dude.”
“The one you’re seeing?”
She nodded. “And your body count?”
He snickered into his hand. “Way more than one.”
She turned, her eyes wide. She shouldn’t be surprised. He was a good looking guy. Too good looking if she could say so herself. Of course he was using it to his benefit.
~~~
“So, the guy?” he questioned, eyes trained on the pool table after class. “Must be good dick if he’s the only one?”
She laughed from her spot on the stool. “I guess? I mean, I wouldn’t know any different.”
“Aw, how cute,” he teased.
“Shut the fuck up,” she laughed at him, then put her hands on top of her head and sighed. “Fuck, I need to get fucked though.”
“Yeah?” he asked, his eyebrows shooting up.
“Yeah. Haven’t seen him in like a week.”
“You seeing him tonight?”
“Yeah.”
“Shit, what are you doing here playing pool with me for? Go get your dick girl!”
She rolled her eyes. “He hasn’t texted me he landed yet. I got time.”
“Long distance?”
She shook her head. “Nah, he was just traveling for work.”
“Nice,” he nodded. “So tits or ass?”
“My preference? As a girl with no ass herself, I’m a tit woman.”
He let out a chuckle of agreement. “No offense, but doesn’t seem like you got much tits either.”
She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ll have you know my tits are huge.”
“Bullshit. What size?”
“Triple D, bitch!” she stated proudly.
“Bull-fuckin-shit! Bet that is the roomiest fuckin bra in the planet.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she smirked. “So, you a dom or a sub?” she asked, keeping the conversation going. If they were talking sex, she was going to get every inch, figuratively speaking.
He let his breathe in a sputtering huff as he thought, he hands raking through his curls. “Depends I guess.”
“Aw, you a switch?” she teased.
“Are you?” he challenged, equally playful.
She shrugged. “I’m a brat. Like I gave this guy the perfect chance to dom me and he flopped. It was kinda sad.”
He laughed. “What did you say?”
“I forget what started it. But I ended up asking what he was gonna do about it. And he just shrugged.”
His eyes went wide and his nose flared slightly at her words. “Oh yeah. Asking what I’m gonna do is gonna get the dom out. Like, excuse me?”
She laughed and shifted in her seat under his gaze. “Yeah! That’s what I expected was going to happen. But nope! What a shame.” She didn’t catch his muttered agreement as her phone buzzed. “Oh, yay! He landed.”
“Gotta go?” he asked, busying himself with taking his shot to hide his deflation.
“Nah,” she waved her hand. “We can finish the game. He’s still gotta get here.”
“Alright, for sure,” he said, perking back up again.
The game didn’t last much longer as Calum remained his innocence that he really wasn’t that good and Brooke proved that she actually wasn’t good. “Alright, I’m out,” she said, setting her pool stick aside. “See ya Wednesday?” she asked, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.
“Yup,” he said, giving her another one armed hug. “Go get that dick.”
She laughed as they let go and walked off calling out, “I fuckin will!”
As she tidied up her room, waiting for her actual date, she sent Calum the pictures she had taken of him earlier. 
Babbling_Brook: Some of the better shots I took
Calpal_hoodie: Nice! Had a great time. Let’s do it again, yeah?
She grinned at her phone before responding. 
Babbling_Brook: Oh for fuckin sure. New after class ritual lol?
Calpal_hoodie: Down
Babbling_Brook: Sweet. We should try the little bowling thing they got. Maybe I can actually win lmao
Calpal_hoodie: You a good bowler?
Babbling_Brook: Nope! But my dude makes mini bowling alleys for a living so I like to think I got a slight advantage lol
Calpal_hoodie: Oh, gotcha! He home yet?
Babbling_Brook: Nah. He’s stopping to get us burgers first. 
Calpal_hoodie: Animal style burger then fuck me animal style lol?
Babbling_Brook: He fuckin better!
Calpal_hoodie: Jesus lmao. Hahaha. Love it.
Babbling_Brook: Look, my hand and vibrator only do so much before a girl just needs a real dick. And THAT’S why I’m only half gay. 
Calpal_hoodie: With the technology y’all have with vibrators… so much pressure is put on the men I’ll have you know. When a vibrator can hit “your spot” a million times without fail… it really sets us up for failure lmao
Babbling_Brook: Well maybe I have a romantic kink then lol. I need human touch more than I need a damn vibrator. 
On the other side of campus, Calum hung his head sadly, wishing more than he cared to admit that he was the one providing her with that human touch she craved.
~~~
On Wednesday, Brooke carefully plotted her outfit. She was a bit bitter that Calum hadn’t believed her about her boob size, and she was determined to make him regret ever having doubted her. 
She admired herself briefly in her tank top before she threw on her hoodie and hat.
~~~
She was leaving the gym and was headed for the game center when her phone pinged. 
Calpal_hoodie: Syllabus doesn’t have a worksheet for today so guess who’s ditching?
Babbling_Brook: Bruh… so pool?
Calpal_hoodie: Yeah I’ll be playing pool until my pussy appointment later tonight. So like til 8 probs.
Her heart sank a little. But she supposed it was her fault for bragging about her own sex life. 
Babbling_Brook: Shit, get it!
Calpal_hoodie: Yeah. So I’ll be playing with some of the pool sharks, but if you wanna swing by, I’ll play a few games with ya. 
She chuckled and took a quick selfie of her with the pool tables behind her. 
Babbling_Brook: “swing by later” bitch get on my level lmao
Calpal_hoodie: Haha! Okay I see you I see you.
Brooke chuckled to herself as she pocketed her phone and watched the door for him. She had shrugged herself free of the hoodie long ago, the Southern California weather providing more warmth than seemed logically possible for the middle of February. She drummed her fingers impatiently against her leg, her mind debating whether to get a table for herself or just to wait. 
She narrowed her eyes when Calum finally did stroll in, and right past her, a man on a mission. Rather than storming over there like she wanted, she took out her phone and snapped more photos of him, enjoying seeing him in his element. Then, she picked up her things and strolled over.
“Just walk right by me, huh?” she greeted teasingly, her hand going to rest on his shoulder.
His brown eyes shined brightly and he grinned as he turned towards her familiar voice. “Hey! Shit, my bad,” he responded, wrapping her in his famous one-armed hug. “Must’ve walked right by you.”
“Yeah, I saw you walk by and was like really?”
“I’m sorry!” he laughed, pouting his lips at her. “Do you have a table?”
“Nah,” she waved her hand. “I’ll watch for a bit. We’ll play ourselves later.”
“Cool, for sure,” he nodded before engaging himself with the small group of guys already playing at the table.
She pretended to busy herself with her phone or studying the table, anything to distract herself from studying him. She had her back turned when his fingers brushing across her bare shoulder made her jump. “Nice tattoo,” he murmured as he retracted his light touch, her skin on fire.
“Thanks,” she mumbled, her cheeks flushing as her own fingers flew up to trace the sunflower his fingers had been tracing mere seconds ago. “I like yours too,” she added, pointing at his arms that held much more ink than her single small shoulder piece.
His soft chuckle tickled her ear as he stayed close behind her. “Also, I owe you an apology,” he said, his eyes darting downwards briefly. “I see it now with the tank top.”
“Told ya,” she smirked over her shoulder at him.
His eyes went wide in realization. “Wait! Did you wear a tank top on purpose?”
She scoffed and averted his gaze. “What? That’s ridiculous. No I- yes I did,” she laughed, not able to keep a straight face. “Did it work?” she asked with a hopeful voice.
He let out another soft chuckle in response, then, “Go set up a table. I’m almost done with this game.”
“Aw shit, are we keeping you from your girl?” one of the guys Calum had been playing with asked.
The two friends jumped apart. “What? No! We’re just friends!” they both blurted before Brooke walked off to the front desk to get a table for her and Calum.
“Sorry about that,” Calum said, a hand rubbing at his neck when she came back.
She waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. It’s harmless.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” he chuckled. “Could you imagine though?” he asked with a raised eyebrow and slight smirk.
She laughed at his bluntness. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t,” she answered truthfully.
“Oh yeah?” he questioned, cocking his head to the side.
She shrugged. “You’re a good looking dude. I got a nice rack. I’m also smart as hell. We get along. Wouldn’t be a whole lot different than what we’re doing now.”
“Shit, I suppose you’re right. Too bad we’ll never know.” His shrug mirrored her own, his words meaning different things to each of them. To him, he was referring to her “seeing someone” and to her it was solidification that a guy like him would never go for a girl like her.
“Yup,” she said, just to have something to say as she lined up her shot.
“Here, can I tell you something?” he asked suddenly.
“Yeah, shoot,” she said, straightening up, intrigued.
“You bridge with your thumb,” he told her, pointing at her hand still resting on the pool table. “Which is fine because you can tilt it and such. But lie the rest of your knuckles flat on the table. It’ll give you steadier control.”
“Oh. Like this?” she checked, adjusting her hand slightly so her knuckles were flat against the green felt rather than tilted at an angle.
“Yeah, there you go.”
She bent back over the table to take her shot, fully aware of how heavy his gaze felt on her.
They remained quiet as they went about playing their game, minus the small muttered curses at a missed shot, exchanging soft smiles as they moved about the table and each other. When he won, he high-fived her. “Good game. You almost had me. Play by yourself for a bit and I’ll be back to check on you? I’m gonna go get in on another game with them if I can,” he said, jerking a thumb at the table in front of them.
“I’ll be here,” she smiled at him, feeling the heat rush to her cheeks at his mention of checking up on her. She lost herself in focusing on her own game, but her gaze still fluttered over to him more than she intended. And every time she looked away, he looked over at her.
“You good?” he asked, coming up behind her.
She pushed the strands of hair that were falling in her face out of the way, having discarded her hat a while ago. “Yup. How’s your game?”
“Oh we finished. But the other guy wants to play so here I am. Mind if I?” He let his gesturing finish his question as his large hand swept over the table.
She took a step back, “Go for it.”
Again, they didn’t say much. This time though, she busied herself with getting lost in the music playing from the speakers around the room, singing softly and moving her hips to the beat. He tried not to stare, but it was hard not to. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t get her off his mind. There was something in the way she just felt familiar to him, like he didn’t have to put on a show. He could just be, and she would just accept it, no questions asked.
He drummed his fingers against his thighs after he cleared the table, pondering his next move. “Alright, I’m heading back over there. But, uh…?”
Brooke chuckled. “Go do you. I’m fine.”
She played another two games by herself without Calum coming back. She set up for a third game, and left it there before walking over to where he was. “Hey,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder, feeling her heart race when he turned and grinned at her.
“Hey!”
“Hi,” she laughed at his happy nature, his eyes rimmed red.
“We’re a little high. Wanna hit?”
“Nah, I’m good, thanks.”
“Don’t smoke?”
“No.”
“Have you ever?”
“Once.”
“Nice! Oh, I’m gonna go get some food. You guys want anything?”
“I won’t say no to a cheese pizza. Since you’re offering.”
The other guy muttered something about how pizza sounded great, pulling out his wallet.
“Nah,” Calum waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it. I offered.”
“Ah, well shit. I’ll get next time then. I don’t like mooching.”
Brooke laughed and touched Calum’s shoulder again. “Oh, I don’t give a fuck about mooching.”
Calum laughed with her, before his eyes got playfully dark. “Venmo me, bitch.”
She laughed more, “Nah, I’ll pay you in other ways, yeah?” she teased , eyes darting to his lap.
The other guy clapped a hand to his mouth as he snorted in laughter. “Damn, you gonna suck his dick right here?”
Brooke ran a hand through her hair, “Cal wishes.”
“Right. You guys aren’t together. But like… would you?”
Brooke shrugged and opted for honesty, “Yeah, I’d fuck him.”
“Nice. And you?” he asked Calum.
“Me what?”
“Would you fuck her?”
“Given a chance? Oh, hell yeah.” He reached into his backpack and took a hit off a vape pen before walking off in search of pizza.
“So are you with someone else or is he?” the guy asked Brooke.
“Uh… little bit of both?” she said skeptically with a shrug as she took a seat on the stool.
He nodded. Then blinked. “Wait, what do you mean by that?”
“Well, I’ve been seeing someone for years. But weren’t not… serious I guess? More of like a super close friendship that involves sex.”
He nodded again, understanding better. “So dating without the label?”
She chuckled. “Yeah, I guess. And not for lack of trying on my part. I mean, I like the dude, obviously. But I’d also like to say I have a boyfriend.”
“Mhm. And that one?” he asked, jerking a thumb towards where Calum had wandered off.
“Oh, Cal’s single. He’s actually going to hook up with a chick later.”
“And that chick isn’t you?”
She shook her head. “Nope.”
“Why not? You just both admitted you’d fuck each other. You guys seem to get along. And he hasn’t stopped checking you out.”
She blushed. “I think I ruined it by telling him I was seeing someone. I think he thinks it’s an actual relationship. And I don’t know how to bring that up. Especially now. ‘Hey Cal, remember how we just said we’d fuck each other given a chance? Well, I’m actually single. Surprise!’? No. He’d think I was just saying it. And I’m not into people thinking I’m using them.”
The guy nodded for a third time. “Fair enough. Fuck, I’m so high right now. Shit, I gotta get to class. How long does it take to get pizza?”
Brooke chuckled as she pushed back her hair. “Want me to go check on him?”
“Would you mind?”
“Nah, not at all,” she said getting up. She would take any excuse to be with Calum.
Calum had a beer in his hand and was sitting at a table, his head down as he looked at the phone in his other hand. She couldn’t stop herself from suppressing the urge to place her hands on those squishy cheeks as she moved towards him but at the last second, her hands placed themselves on either side of his head, giving him a playful shake. “Hey!” he said, brightening up as he realized it was her. “I got a beer,” he added, showing her the beer in his hand. “The pizza should be out soon. I got a medium cuz it was cheaper.”
“Smart move,” she agreed. “I didn’t know you were even old enough to drink.”
He quirked an eyebrow at her. “I’m 22. My birthday was a couple weeks ago.”
“Shit yeah? I turned 22 back in December.”
“Aw, we like birthday buddies almost.”
“Almost yeah. Hey, I didn’t make things awkward when I admitted I’d sleep with you, did I?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I mean, I admitted the same thing. We’re still cool.”
“Cool,” she smiled.
“So what’s up? Come to check on me?”
“Yeah, thought I’d keep you company. Plus the guy’s gotta get to class so he’s getting a bit impatient.”
Calum’s laugh rang out in the pizza shop. “Guess he’s gonna be late to class. But, tell him it shouldn’t be much longer?”
“Yeah, for sure,” she said, patting his shoulder before walking back to the game room.
“Aw, damn, was hoping you’d both come back,” the guy said, seeing only her return.
“Sorry, man. Cal got a medium cuz it was cheaper so he’s gotta wait. Should be done soon though.”
“Alright, no problem,” he had just enough time to respond before Calum was walking to them, a pizza box with plates in one hand and his beer in the other. “Awesome! Wish I didn’t have to grab and leave, but I gotta get going. Got a quiz.”
“No worries man,” Calum told him, handing the other man a plate and opening the box. “Sorry it took so long.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. Thanks, man,” he said, loading his plate up with slices of pizza. “Catch ya later. Nice meeting you…” his voice faltered as he looked at Brooke.
“Brooke,” she supplied. “Nice meeting you too.”
“Yup. See ya guys.”
“Thanks for the pizza, Cal,” she said, putting a slice on the plate he handed her.
“No problem. Needed to eat something. Aw, he took like all the pepperoni,” he frowned at the box.
She looked at the box with him, her heart fluttering that half of it was cheese for her. “You could’ve gotten it all pepperoni.”
“But you wanted cheese,” he said, taking a sip of his beer.
“You’re cute, you know that?” she asked, being bold and taking a sip of his beer herself, wincing at the taste.
“Hey!” he laughed, snatching his beer back. “Getcha own beer.”
She made a face. “Yuck! You can keep it. Ugh. Nasty!”
“So you don’t drink either?”
She shook her head. “That makes me like the most boring person on the planet huh? College girl who doesn’t drink or smoke.”
“Nah,” he said with a shake of his head. “One of my roommates is the same way. So you just don’t like the taste or you scared?”
“Scared? I’m not scared of anything.”
He laughed. “No! I didn’t mean it like that. Not scared of anything, huh? Should’ve guessed. I just meant… some people don’t drink because they got a family history. So they’re more… aware of the choices they make. Or don’t make, I guess.”
“Is your roommate one of those people?”
“Yeah. Being an alcoholic scares him. Rightfully so. Shit’s scary.”
“You don’t seem scared yourself.”
He shrugged. “I like to think I know my limits. Like this will be the only drink I have.”
She nodded, approvingly. “I’m just not a big fan of the taste. But, I’ll drink every now and then. But even then, it’s barely enough to give me a buzz. I like being in control.”
“Ooo, a dom, eh?” his eyes danced playfully.
“Says the switch!” she laughed. “No. I’m just a brat. Don’t have enough confidence to actually be a dom. I’m all bark and no bite.” Her voice trailed off as they ate their pizza. When she caught him lip syncing to the music playing through the speakers, she spoke up, “Like this music?”
He nodded, a slight red tinge undertoning his tanned cheeks. “Yeah. But I’ll listen to just about anything.”
“Yeah?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, I play and sing, so…”
“Yeah?! That’s awesome. What do you play?”
“Bass, mostly. My roommates and I are actually in a band.”
“No shit?” she asked. “Would love to watch you play sometime then.”
“Yeah? Shit, I’ll tell you next time we practice, then,” he promised, reaching into the pizza box. “Aw, shit, is there any left?”
She nodded. “Should be one more.”
“Yeah? How many did you have?”
“This is my third.”
“That was my fourth. Last one’s yours then.”
She shook her head. “No. You bought it. You take it. I’m good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Game?”
“For sure,” he nodded, taking a big bite of the slice.
They played at a slow pace, taking their time. At one point he went back to his pizza slice to take a bite, but held it out to her in offering. She grinned and instead of taking it from his hands like he expected, she leaned down and tore off a piece with her teeth. “Thanks,” she continued to grin around the bite, making him laugh. They loved how easy it felt to be around each other, quirky banter without any sense of awkwardness or trying to impress the other. Just straight up honesty at every turn.
“Ugh!” he muttered in frustration as he missed what seemed like an easy shot even for her. “I’m getting mad!”
She covered her mouth with her hand and giggled so hard she let out a loud squeaky wheezing sound.
“Was that you?” he asked.
She nodded, her body continuing to shake with her laughter. “Sorry. I do that when I laugh too hard. You’re cute when you’re mad, you know that?”
“You know that you’re just cute?” he asked back.
She blushed and busied herself with taking her turn, opting not to respond.
“So what’s your favorite position?” he asked her.
“Shit!” she sputtered, bringing a finger to her lips in thought.
“My bad. You don’t have to answer.”
“Nah, it’s cool. Just a good question. Shit… Uh… well I’m a little romantic at heart, so probably missionary. But I like others too.”
“Yeah? Missionary’s my favorite because I can pull her hair and make her look at me.”
Her eyes went wide. “Ooo, into hair pulling huh? I love pulling and getting my hair pulled.”
His own eyes went wide and his cock twitched in his pants. “Yeah? What other positions do you like? You said there were others.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Yeah,” she stammered. “Well, uh… like most girls I assume, I get off through clit stimulation. So 69 is like a gold mine. Doggy’s also nice.”
He nodded approvingly as his cock twitched more. “Wanna know the nice part of doggy?” he asked, his voice catching a little.
“What?” she laughed, knowing she had him about as flustered as he had her.
“You get to pull her up by her hair and play with her clit,” he winked.
“Ayyyy! That’s exactly why I like it!”
“It’s definitely on the list of positions I like too. Plus I get to choke her a bit. That’s why I like missionary too.”
“Any position you can choke and pull her hair, huh? See, I like doggy because I get both of those and some ass smacking. All my kinks in one position.”
“Aw, you got them soft kinks,” he teased.
“Shut up, so do you!” she laughed.
He sat down in a high-backed chair that rocked slightly with his movements. “Aw, shit, this chair would be perfect to have a girl riding me on,” he acknowledged with a horny look. His teeth sunk into his lower lip as he gripped the armrests and made the chair rock more. “Just, a little this with her hand choking me. Phew… Clutch, lemme tell ya.”
“Annnd, there’s the switch,” she giggled.
“Look, I only like being dommed when she’s riding me. Otherwise, I’m domming.”
“Next you’re gonna tell me you like being called ‘Daddy’,” she scoffed at him.
The way his eyes lit up at the title had her gulping involuntarily. “Fuck yeah. The girl I’m gonna hook up with later- we’ve hooked up in the past- she called me ‘Sir’ once and I corrected her so fuckin’ hard.”
She laughed to hide her arousal. “You’re so weird.”
He smirked at her as he stood up. “Aw, got you a little flustered, do I?” he breathed down at her once he had closed their distance
“Like I don’t have you just as flustered,” she shot back, rubbing her hand against his cheek. “Daddy,” she added with a loud laugh. She pursed her lips in a knowing smirk of her own at the way he looked: his eyes clenched shut, hands curling in a fist, and teeth biting into his lip. “What? I shouldn’t touch you?” she continued to play with him, dropping her hand to draw it down his torso, enjoying the feel of his muscles underneath her fingertips. He radiated strength in a way that made her weak in the knees and wet between her thighs. Thankfully for her, she could hide her arousal better than he could.
“You really shouldn’t,” he said, his lips barely moving, and his brown eyes practically pitch black with lust.
She shrugged and stepped back. “Your shot, by the way,” she told him, gesturing at the pool table.
Right. Pool. He had nearly forgotten what he was originally here to do, his mind full of thoughts that centered around bending her over the pool table and wiping that smirk off her face. Her own mind raced with similar thoughts, wishing he didn’t have a hook up date with another girl.
~~~
Brooke wasn’t expecting to hear from Calum until Monday, so when her phone pinged not even an hour after they had said their goodbyes for the night, she was definitely surprised.
Calpal_hoodie: Wanna hear something annoying?
She perked up so much, she felt a little guilty.
Babbling_Brook: Omg, yes! What happened with your date?
Calpal_hoodie: So, she gets here. We drove around to find a spot. I take out my condoms. She’s ALLERGIC to them! So, I drove to a store to get new ones. I drive back. And she’s like “can you drive me back please?” She was about to break down about her break up with her ex and couldn’t handle it. So dry dick for Cal.
Brooke clapped a hand over her mouth to suppress her giggles. On one hand, she felt bad for him. On the other, she was glad his date had freaked out. The fact that- besides playing venting at her- he had let his date call it quits before it even started only made Brooke feel better about her feelings about Calum.
Babbling_Brook: If it makes you feel any better, this chick I’m never gonna stand a chance with called me a pussy wetter. Which like… no… I’m dorky and awkward. I just have a talent for being smooth as fuck
Calpal_hoodie: Lol. You want me to agree with her, don’t you?
Babbling_Brook: I mean… I gave you the set up…
Calpal_hoodie: Lol! Yes, you definitely have pussy wetting potential.
Babbling_Brook: Potential?! Aw, bubbie…
Calpal_hoodie: Bubbie? Lol
Babbling_Brook: Not into pet names? Cal the Snack Thief is a tad long... And again. “Potential”?! Smh… lowkey offended, bubbie.
Calpal_hoodie: So am I… And no! I didn’t mean it like that, honest… When I use the term “potential” it means you already got it.
Babbling_Brook: 1.) Did you just make a big dick joke? 2.) I’m teasing. I know I’m a smooth talking son of a gun. I can talk the panties off a mannequin.
Calpal_hoodie: Yes, yes I did lol. And note taken. That was smooth right there.
Babbling_Brook: I mean… I made you nice and flustered earlier, yeah?
Calpal_hoodie: Oh yeah… fuck! I just want pussy in my mouth with my cock down someone’s throat… is that too much to ask?!
Babbling_Brook: You and me both, bubbie. Only the opposite. But yeah…
Calpal_hoodie: Wake up that dude of yours by sucking his dick then, lmao. I’m gonna get high as balls.
Babbling_Brook: Nah, I’m probs just gonna go to bed. As for you? Yeah, go get high as balls and maybe you’ll forget it’s your own hand you’re fucking.
Calpal_hoodie: Now you’re just making me feel bad lmao
Babbling_Brook: Just being a brat, like whatchu gonna do?
Calpal_hoodie: Lmao, I think you know what I would do… fuck, I’ll probably end up sending nudes to my chick after I smoke. I always get more comfortable doing that when I’m high as hell.
Babbling_Brook: Makes sense. Being drunk/high tends to lower one’s inhibitions so people are more likely to step outside of their normal comfort zone when under the influence (See, told ya I was smart, too)
Calpal_hoodie: Alright, calm down Plato lol
Babbling_Brook: Lol.
She paused and looked at her phone. Her curiosity was getting the better of her. She had to know.
Babbling_Brook: Now… out of pure curiosity… I’m pretty bratty with you frequently. Given the chance, what would you actually do?
Calpal_hoodie: Look at you all turned on asking me lol
She chuckled at her phone. She wasn’t going to let him see her sweat. She turned up the brat charm.
Babbling_Brook: My curiosity is turned on, sure. As for the rest of me? Dry as your dick, bubbie.
Calpal_hoodie: Oh, damn! Alright… so like… what would I do to you sexually? If I had the chance and you were single?
She frowned at her phone, briefly. Was he only this willing to divulge all this information to her because he thought she was with someone else? Because he could freely flirt with her because he thought all it amounted to was just two friends talking shit? She wondered if now was her chance to come clean. Let him know that he had misinterpreted her words when she said she was seeing someone. But, she was afraid he would balk if she did. That knowing there was no actual boundary would be what pushed their relationship into awkward territory. And as much as she liked him that way, she also really enjoyed the friendship and didn’t want to lose that.
Babbling_Brook: Yeah. We’re both single. We have the relationship we do now. I mouth off like I always do. What do you do?
Calpal_hoodie: Well I’d tell you that if you keep mouthing off, you won’t have any room left in your mouth to speak. And of course you wouldn’t want to stop talking shit then. So I’d prove it and make you get on your knees for me… and if we had that room to ourselves, you’d definitely end up over that pool table taking every inch. But… ya know… lol!
Brooke gulped, reading the message, knowing he wouldn’t have told her that if she told him the truth. It was easy to be bold when you thought nothing could come of it.
Babbling_Brook: Oh, so when you said you were a dom, you meant like a dom dom. Alright… I dig.
Calpal_hoodie: Lol oh yeah. And you? What would you do?
Babbling_Brook: Shit… flip the script, yeah? Alright… Well, I’d definitely be much brattier knowing I could probably get something out of it. Test these dom limits of yours. And then get hella insecure that you saw me as a fling. Because even though I started everything in good fun, I’d be secretly craving a relationship like the romantic ho I am.
Calpal_hoodie: Aw! Least you’re honest. Well, would’ve been fun.
She shook her head sadly at her phone. If only he knew this was all entirely possible.
Babbling_Brook: I try to be lol. Like in all reality, I’d let you fuck me six ways to Sunday and then probably cry about it because I’d get all girly about it. But I’d still be my bratty self to you in person acting all cool and unbothered cuz I don’t want to be clingy and weird. Definitely would’ve been a ride for sure- pun fully intended.
Calpal_hoodie: Aw! That’s like both a lil sad but so honest and genuine. Nice pun, btw lol.
Babbling_Brook: Lol, it’s okay though. Cuz, trust, you’d want a relationship. Like I’m fuckin great! I can be adventurous as fuck or we can chill in bed all day watching movies. And I value my independence so like I’m more than fine with you going off with your boys or whatever cuz I like my alone time. Plus, I’ll remind you of what you got waiting for you later…
Calpal_hoodie: Ayyy! Sounds good to me lmao! Fuck, I still gotta smoke…
Babbling_Brook: Cool, cool. I’m gonna hit the hay. Enjoy that smoke and the thoughts we put in each other’s head lol!
Calpal_hoodie: Lmao, will do!
They both did. They both made a mess of themselves at the idea of giving themselves over to the other one.
~~~
Again, Brooke didn’t expect to hear from Calum until Monday at class. So when her phone pinged on Saturday and the notification said it was from him, her eyebrows pinched together in confusion while her heart raced in excitement.
Calpal_hoodie: Hey, I dunno if you had plans or anything. But my roommates and I are gonna have a rehearsal. So if… No worries if you’re busy. Just thought you’d be interested.
Babbling_Brook: Nah, that sounds great! I’m off today. Where you guys at?”
He messaged her an address to a set of apartments she knew was a few blocks from campus. A twenty minute walk, tops. She looked out the window at the soft warm sunshine. A walk would be perfect.
Babbling_Brook: Cool, be there in twenty. Should I bring anything?
Calpal_hoodie: Nah, just your cute ass
Babbling_Brook: Lmao, you mean my nonexistent ass?
Calpal_hoodie: Lol, it’s okay. You don’t need an ass. You got tits for days.
Babbling_Brook: That I do, lol. See ya in a few then.
The music playing in her headphones got caught off by her phone pinging. Her heart sank, thinking it was Calum cancelling. But it wasn’t. It was Trevor, her not-boyfriend.
Trev: Hey
Brookie: Hey
Trev: You busy?
Brookie: Yeah, I’m actually heading over to a friend’s. Gonna watch his band practice
Trev: His? Like a dude?
Brookie: Is that a problem?
Trev: No. So later then?
Brookie: Maybe… What are we, Trev?
Trev: This again? Brookie…
Brookie: I know. I just…
Trev: You wanna fuck this dude without feeling guilty?
Brookie: Don’t put words in my mouth… I’m not trying to fight.
Trev: I’m not either. Look, we’ve dated other people before. You’re free to do what you want Brookie. I’ll be here whenever you’re done having your fun.
Brookie: Don’t do that. Don’t act like I’m the one stringing you along. You wanted this setup, not me.
Trev: I wasn’t saying that to be mean, Brookie, damn. Seriously, have your fun.
Brookie: I’m sorry, Trev. I didn’t expect to feel this way.
Trev: You don’t have to apologize, Brookie. I’m the idiot who keeps you at arm’s length. I know that comes with the risk of losing you to someone who won’t. But that’s my problem, not yours.
Brookie: I’m still sorry. I don’t like hurting you.
Trev: I know. That’s part of your charm Brookie. You care deeply about everyone around you. Don’t worry about me, okay?
Brookie: Easier said than done, Trev…
Trev: I know. See ya around, Brookie.
She sniffed back the tears that threatened to fall, feeling stupid for mourning a loss that was never hers to lose in the first place. All Trevor and her had been were friends who sometimes had sex. Which is why she had known exactly what to say to Calum about what she would afterwards in the event they ever crossed the line and had sex themselves. It had been a projection of her own relationship with Trevor. She just had to keep faith that maybe her relationship with Calum would have a better ending.
She paused to collect herself before she rapped her knuckles on the door of Calum’s apartment. The door swung open before she had even finished knocking and she was being pulled in the apartment and that one-armed hug she only now fully realized how much she loved. “Hey! You’re here! Guys! This is Brooke. Brooke, these are the guys. Ash, Luke, and Mike.”
3 tall guys nodded as their names were called, first a hazel-eyed brunette with a bright red bandana, then a blue-eyed blonde with a lip ring, and a guy with hair dyed the same shade of green as his eyes.
“Hi,” she squeaked, heat rushing to her cheeks. Of course someone as good looking as Calum would have equally good-looking friends.
“You okay?” Calum asked her, his brown eyes full of concern.
She let out her breath in a huff and shrugged her shoulders. “Eh,” she held her hand flat and gave it a small shake. “It’s fine. So do you guys do covers or write your own stuff?”
“Bit of both,” the blonde told her.
“Cool! What would you classify the stuff you make as? Like genre?”
“Punk!” the green-haired man grinned.
Brooke chuckled as the others sighed, “Mikey…”
“We’re mostly rock oriented,” the brunette explained. “But we experiment with different sounds, so I wouldn’t classify us specifically as a rock band. We just make music we like to make. The genre part is irrelevant.”
“Ash, the word smith,” Calum teased with a roll of his eyes as he moved across the room to pick up the bass he must have set aside when he answered the door. “Have a seat,” he directed at Brooke. “Get comfortable.”
She took a seat on a chair while the men went to various instruments. “2, 3, 4,” the brunette, Ash, counted from a drum kit. Brooke watched his thick thigh work to create a steady fast-paced beat, drumsticks twirling effortlessly before her eyes were glancing back over to Calum who had his eyes closed as he played the beat with Ash before the other two joined in with their the guitars and the blonde started singing.
Brooke watched, mesmerized, her jaw dropping when Calum started singing himself. She quickly closed it when he caught her and shot her a wink. She swayed in her seat, her feet tapping along to the beat as the roommates played their way through some songs she didn’t recognize so she assumed they were theirs, snapping the occasional picture.
~~~
“So, how do you know, Cal?” Ash was asking her an hour later as they both sipped on water. The instruments had been placed aside in favor of game controllers and when Ash made a mention of grabbing some drinks, she had realized how parched she had become.
“Oh, we have a class together.”
He nodded, leaning against the kitchen counter. “College girl meets college boy, huh? Same major?”
She chuckled softly, before shaking her head. “No, I’m a photography major. I think Cal’s English, isn’t he?”
He nodded. “Yeah, Cal’s an English major. He always liked to read. But photography, eh? That explains you taking all those pictures.”
She shrugged. “I like seeing people for who they truly are. Are you guys in college, too?”
He shook his head. “Nah, I graduated last year. And those two barely made it out of high school. Cal and I were the only ones who could stick out school. Which is crazy cuz Luke’s mum’s a teacher.”
She chuckled more. “Mum… what are you, British?”
“Australian, darling. We all are. Cal didn’t tell you?”
She sputtered, choking on her water. “What?! No! No, he didn’t.”
He giggled and a dimple appeared in his cheek. “Yeah. Luke and Mike have dreams of being rockstars. And they’re our boys and it’s our band. So when we graduated high school, we all moved out here. But, Cal wanted a college education. And I had already completed a year myself at that point, so I joined him. And Luke and Mike… well, their talents lie elsewhere. They’ve gotten us a few demos made. We even have our own albums and perform at festivals. Just waiting for Cal to get done so we can make it big time.”
“Sounds to me like that won’t be that hard. You guys got some serious talent.”
“Yeah? You think?”
She nodded. “Yeah. So you’re a year older then?”
It was his turn to nod. “There abouts. I’m 23. Mike and Cal are 22. Then Luke’s the baby. He won’t be 22 until after my 24th birthday. How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking.”
“Oh, I’m 22. I’m about two months older than Cal.”
“Nice. And you have a class together with Cal?”
She nodded. “Yeah. We had a class last year which is how we met. Honestly, I didn't think he noticed me at all. Then, this semester we ended up in another class together, and I guess I made more of an impression than I thought.”
He smiled down at her and she thought she’d drown in that hazel gaze. “Oh, you made the impression alright. Mate doesn’t shut up about you. Always going on about the girl in class with the snacks and snark.”
She laughed loudly, covering her mouth with her hand as she blushed. “Don’t know why he would. I’m really not much. Just a girl who doesn’t know when to shut her mouth.”
“Should see yourself from someone else’s point of view, darling. Cuz, you’re a bombshell, if I can be so bold as to say so.”
She sputtered again. “Oh yeah?”
He leaned down, his gaze heavy on her. “Oh, yeah.”
“Hey!” Calum’s voice snapped darkly and Ash and Brooke jumped apart, Ash giving his friend a sheepish grin, Brooke’s face bright red like she had got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “The fuck, Ash?”
Ash raised his hands in defense. “My bad. Line crossed. I’ll back off.”
“Yeah, back the fuck up. She’s got a boyfriend.”
“You’re dating?” Ash’s hazel eyes flashed in startled confusion.
Calum’s brown eyes rolled. “No. She’s got a boyfriend.”
Brooke fiddled with her fingers. “Um… actually…” she started, her voice small, both slightly frightened and turned on by Calum’s protective jealousy.
“You don’t have a boyfriend?” Calum’s voice asked, the fierceness replaced by a tone that sounded on the verge of breaking. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I said… and you assumed… and I didn’t… Cal, we said…” Brooke’s hands started to flutter at her sides, her eyes welling up with tears. The girl who normally had more words than she knew what to do with was speechless.
“Whoa… hey,” his voice soothed and then he was pulling her into a hug. But instead of one arm, it was both, and she was about to crack from the soft intimacy. “C’mere,” he said before he was leading her down the hallway and into a bedroom. “Brooke, it astounds me how fucking blunt and honest we are with each other. Like the shit that comes out of your mouth blows me away sometimes. But you really couldn’t feel like you could tell me that you didn't have a boyfriend?”
“I’m sorry…” she whispered. “I… what Trevor and I have is hard to explain. It’s like we’re a couple without the label. And it’s always been confusing for me. And I didn’t want to try and explain that and get us both confused, so it was easier to let you think that he was my boyfriend. And then… well, we admitted what we admitted and… I dunno. I think it was easy for you to say those things when you thought nothing could come from it.”
“You think I said those filthy things to you just to say them?”
She shrugged and bit into her lower lip. “Maybe… Easy to flirt with someone when you can hide behind the fact that nothing will come of it…”
“Is that why you let me believe you had a boyfriend? So you could hide?”
She shook her head. “No! I just… look the relationship I had… have… I dunno… it’s not fully what I want. Yes, we’re friends. Yes, we have sex. But I want more than that. And he doesn’t. And that’s fine. But… I can’t do it with you, too. And I know it’s probably on me for being the proud tomboy who likes to be one of the guys. But I can’t keep being the girl who’s not good enough to be the girlfriend.”
“Jesus…” Calum breathed, running his hands through his curls.
“Don’t,” she said, standing up. “It’s fine. I’m the hopeless romantic living in a hookup culture world. Um, I’m gonna go now. But, I’ll see you Monday? Want teddy grahams or pretzels?”
“You’re doing that thing you said you would do,” he muttered.
“What thing?” she asked, forcing a smile.
“Where you said you would act cool and unbothered to not come off as clingy and desperate.”
“I said weird, not desperate…” she mumbled, staring down at her shoes. “See ya, Cal.”
“On your knees,” his voice barked at her as her back turned and her hand gripped the knob of the bedroom door.
“Excuse me?” she asked, turning back to face him, her face a mix of sad longing and confused anger.
He stalked over to her. “I said,” he spoke, his voice low and raspy as his fingers dug into her shoulders. “On. Your. Knees.”
She looked at him in full confusion but sank to her knees anyway. “Cal… What are you doing?”
“Making good on my word of what I would do to you if I ever got the chance,” he answered darkly. Then his face was inches from hers and it was full of soft concern. “That okay?”
She gulped and nodded. Then, as he went to straighten up, “Wait! Cal?”
“Yeah?” he asked, crouching back down.
“What happens after?”
“You said you’d make a great girlfriend, didn’t you?”
She nodded.
“I’m willing to give that a try if you are.”
She nodded again. Then, “Cal?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Brooke. I’m a romantic, too. This is about making sure we both get what we want. And I want you.”
“I want you too, Cal.”
“Good,” he smiled before pressing a soft kiss to her lips that made her stomach do flips. “Now, open up that pretty mouth of yours,” he said, tracing his thumbs over her lips to part them as he straightened up once more. “And it’s ‘Daddy’ from here on out,” he added with a smirk before his fingers were undoing his jeans and pushing them down along with his boxers.
“Yes, Sir,” she grinned saucily, her mouth watering at how big he was.
“There’s my brat,” he cooed in a manner that sent shivers down her spine. “Gonna fuck that attitude out of you real fast, sweetheart. You’ll learn.”
“Do your worst,” she taunted.
~~~
They were a breathless mess of tangled limbs and soft kisses in his bed. “Fuck, Ca- Da- Um…” she giggled while her cheeks flushed brick red. “Shit, I dunno what to call you now…”
His chest rumbled beneath her with his chuckle. “You can still call me, ‘Cal,’ sweetheart. ‘Daddy’ is just for bedroom activities. I’m not that kind of dom.”
She nodded. “Fuck, that was amazing.”
“Plenty more where that came from too, sweetheart. This is only the beginning.”
She sprawled across him to reach for her phone that was in her pants. “Can I?” she asked.
He nodded, pulling up the blankets to make them less exposed as she snapped some pictures. “You said you take pictures because you like seeing how people are when they’re fully themselves?”
“Yeah…”
“So what would those snapshots of you look like? If you were able to take candids of yourself.”
She thought for a minute then showed him the pictures she had just taken. “Probably a lot like this. You make me feel… well you make me feel a lot of things. One of which happens to be total relaxation. I feel like I can just be. No act. No bullshit. Just me.”
“Good, cuz I happen to like just you a whole fuckin lot.”
~~~
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robin-the-enby · 5 years
Text
Confusing feelings
Pairing: Abe Sapien x OC
Summary: Abe meets a creature he's only ever read about.
Warnings: Probably very long with grammar mistakes (English is not my first language), a little bit of violence
A/N: I've been thinking about making this into a full book on my Wattpad account. I already have one English book there, so if you're a Moomins fan, go check it out, the name is TheDarkSide019 .
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Fridays never really meant anything at BPRD, apart from it being the most chaotic day of the week. I mean, it's not like they didn't have to work at weekends. They did. And that sucked, as Liz said many times.
The last few weeks were pretty calm, nothing big was happening and there wasn't any danger that could wipe out humanity.
That meant Abe, Liz and Hellboy could have more free time.
Liz finally accepted herself as she is and her and Red's relationship has been just great. They were spending most of their free time with the other, doing all sorts of things and going on all sorts of little adventures at BPRD.
Abe didn't have anyone he would be this close with and he definitely didn't want to be a third wheel, even though he thought that if he asked to, Hellboy and Liz would let him hang out with them. Of course, there were some agents that came to the library, which used to be dr. Broom's office, to ask him all kinds of questions, some more interesting than others, but as the kind-hearted soul he was, he answered them all with patience. If he could help, why wouldn't he do so?
But when the agents left, he was all alone once again. Alone. That word tasted bitter on his tongue. However, this alone felt different than how he ever felt before. He was so lonely it was distracting. Soon he couldn't even read books with how distracted he was. So his days were spent in his tank, just quietly thinking about what was it that he lacked.
However he didn't lack anything, it was his soul that was weeping. Every time Abe saw Hellboy with Liz, his soul cried out a little. He was happy for them, he really was, but there was something about the sight that made him feel a wide range of emotions at once. He was confused.
If you're confused, you can just ask someone, he told himself. So he went to the first person he thought could help him understand his feelings a bit more. Liz.
"You're jealous Abe." was the answer he got. It was simple, but genuine and said with care. She wasn't mad in any way, but she didn't see a reason to beat around the bush.
But that's ridicoulus. Abe thought. "What do you mean jealous? I'm not jealous, in fact I am very happy for you two." Liz laughed at his confusion. "You're not jealous of me or Red, Abe. You're jealous of what we have. Maybe you don't realize it, but inside, you want it too. A relationship, I mean." He didn't look much wiser than before and she shook her head a little "Look. I'm not saying I'm right, but from what you've just told me it looks like it. It's normal, everybody sometimes feels like this when they've been single for a long time. Just think about it and if anything, you can talk to me." she reassured him. He nodded and slowly stood up. He only managed to mumble out a 'bye' before slipping through the door. He didn't even notice Hellboy who was coming to see Liz in her room. Red said hi, but he didn't recieve an answer, so deep in thought Abe was. Red turned his head to look at him, then shrugged and entered the room of his beloved girlfriend.
"What's up with Abe?" he then asked Liz and pointed at the door with his thumb like the said man was just behind it. "He's lonely." Liz explained. "What do you mean? He's always been kinda lonely." Red didn't understand. Sometimes Abe would rant to him how he felt a little lonely sometimes, like there was no one that could fully understand him. But he almost immediately after said that he didn't mind and was grateful for everything and everyone he had. "Yeah, but he's that kind of lonely that you were when I left." she said, trying to light up the mood a little. Although, they both knew it was true. "Poor man." Red shook his head and sighed.
Abe immediately went into his tank after arriving in the library. How could one be jealous of a non-materialistic thing? That's ridicoulus. Although, he had to admit, it would be nice to have someone you can hold, trust and rely on, to share all the nice and bad things with and who would hold, trust and rely on him and want to share all those things with him too. Oh, that's how.
The next day his mind was still overloaded with thoughts. In the morning Red stopped by and asked how he was doing and if he wanted to hang out with him and Liz later. Abe politely declined, saying he needs to sort some things out. In my head. he added, but not out loud.
Unknown to him or the other two, who were a little worried about him, things were going to get exciting in just a moment.
Manning recieved a newspaper with a very strange title right on homepage. He was told by the agent who brought the thing, that the local police doesn't know what to do anymore. It was time to call the special agents.
Abe was forcefully pulled out from his thoughts by the library door opening. In came Manning with a few other agents, Liz and Hellboy trailling behind them. When Abe looked at their joined hands, his soul cried out yet again, but now he knew why. It was refreshing and frustrating at the same time, which left him as he was the days prior. Confused.
"What's so important that you have to pull us away from our day off?" Red asked and Manning decided to ignore him, because getting mad would not get him anywhere. "We've recieved an anonymus tip about paranormal activity going on in Scotland. Look at this." he handed Hellboy the newspaper. Red took it from him and looked at the homepage. There, in bold, capital letters was a title: TWO MEN DEAD AT A LOCAL LAKE. ONLY REMAINS FOUND ARE HEARTS AND LIVERS. "That's nice." Red commented. Then he came over to Abe's tank, where Abe was practically glued to the front glass wall, to show it to him. He watched as Abe's eyes scanned the title "What do you think it is pal?"
Abe thought for a while, blinking owlishly once or thrice. Just as they thought he maybe wasn't paying attention, Abe turned to look at them "I don't know. There are lots and lots of water creatures, but I can't recall a single one that doesn't eat a part of their victim."
His interest has been piqued. "A new creature perhaps?" Liz piped up, her gate set on the paper laying now on one of the tables. Manning sighed an annoyed sigh "Great." "Or a one we don't have much information about." Abe said. "Either way, I want you to catch it and bring it back for studying. The details will be given to you later today." "So wait, we're actually going to Scotland?" Liz asked excitedly. "You bet'cha babe." Hellboy smirked and wrapped one arm around her waist.
Abe was excited. Finally something distracted him from his thoughts. Try as he might, he couldn't figure out what creature could've caused this. He tried to narrow it to water beasts from The brittish islands, but that didn't really help, there were still too many options and too little information.
Another thing he didn't really like was how Manning said studying. Oh he was going to keep an eye on that. There will be no harmful experiments on his watch. No cutting, probing, chemical testing, nothing. That just wasn't right and even if he believed Manning was a good man, he knew how he treated those of different species.
They gave the trio all known information. The lake was near a small town that was build for people who worked in a nearby ink factory. It was that type of town where everyone knew each other.
They all left on Sunday evening and by Monday morning they were already there. It was necessary, all citizens will be at work or at school so there will be a near zero percent chance of someone seeing the trio.
The sky was grey as the water that reflected it, gentle breeze making small waves on the water surface. The lake was surrounded by reeds that swayed ever so slightly and rustled quietly. There were a few spots where the reeds had been cut, probably for people who wanted to fish. Strange thing was that there weren't any animals, usually this place would be full of water birds and insects, but here everything seemed dead. It was a little depressing.
Hushed voices of Liz and Hellboy could be heard with the rustling. Liz liked the idea of getting out of BPRD from the beggining and when they arrived, she fell in love with the place. Abe had to admit, the scenery all around them was beautiful. But he could feel that something wasn't right here.
A young agent called out to them to get their attention. He beckoned them over to where he was standing. They came to one of the fishing spots where remains of footsteps were highlighted by the police. "You got anything for us?" Hellboy asked. The agent nervously gulped "Well, you'll need to know what happened, before you start investigating." he said with a shaky voice. "And you know that?" asked Liz. The agent opened the casefile, which wasn't really thick "Well, two victims went to an inn after work. They were fairly tipsy, but didn't come in a vehicle, so the innkeaper let them go. And now this is where it gets interesting. The footsteps lead straight into the water, like they did it from their own will. Bodies were never found, the only remains are their hearts and livers which were thrown in the reeds over there." he pointed to the place where they had been found.
It wasn't much, but at least it was something new. "Thank you for your help." Abe thanked the young man. He then scurried off somewhere without saying anything.
There wasn't really anything to do now, Abe still didn't have enough information to figure out what exactly they were dealing with here. They decided it would be best to look around and hopefully find something new.
"Do we know where this thing could be?" Liz asked. "Well, because the victims were lured into the lake, I think it's safe to assume it lives there." Abe explained, even though he thought she could have figured that out on her own. "Well, if we won't find anything usefull, you're going to have to dive down there." Hellboy said and gestured to the lake with his head. Abe sighed "I know." Although he was excited, they still didn't know anything and he wouldn't like to go there unprepared.
As they were walking, Abe pointed out the lack of animals at this place. "Well, they could be just scared from all the people suddenly showing up." Liz shrugged.
Soon they were on the opposite side of the lake and nothing strange had happened so far. They could see meadows upon meadows everywhere and even those looked empty. There wasn't anything alive, only a horse on one of the meadows. Wait, a horse??
Liz softly gasped "Look, a horse!" and immediately started to go towards it. Red and Abe looked at each other uncertainly, not knowing if it was safe, but they trailed behind her nonetheless. What could a horse possibly do?
The closer they got to it, the worse feeling settled in Abe's gut. Liz was already standing next to it, petting it softly.
It was beautiful. But something felt off. It's fur was white like fresh snow and clean, even though it was standing on a meadow with no fence around it. How was it so clean when it probably didn't belong to anyone? If Abe could frown, he would. The horse was peacfully munching on the grass, until Liz touched it. It lifted it's head up, showing them the deepest dark blue eyes that they've ever seen. They looked almost...hypnotizing.
"Do you think it'd let me ride it?" Liz wondered. She was looking into the horses eyes and her voice sounded quiet and soft, like she was daydreaming. Abe found it strange for the girl to be so enamoured by a simple horse, but it seemed he was the only one.
Hellboy picked up his girlfriend and set her gently on the horses back. She sat there for a while, before trying to run her hands through its mane.
It was as white as the rest of its body, without any knots. "Somebody has gone for a swim, eh?" Liz cooed at the animal. And aparently wet too.
Abe stared at the horse, deep in thought. It didn't belong to anybody, it was beautiful and enchanting. It just encouraged you to ride it. Abe looked at its mane, small droplets still dripping down. If it went into the lake, it must have been before we got here. Wouldn't it be dry now?
It was just encouraging you to ride it. Encouraging....encouraging...luring...
And then it clicked.
"Liz, you need to get down. Now." Abe said, urgency evident in his voice. Hellboy registered it before Liz, who seemed in some sort of dreamy trance, sensing the tone he immediately felt unnerved and went to retrieve his girl.
"Give me your hand babe." he said gently. Liz blinked, suddenly confused. It took her a few seconds to process what did he want her to do, but when she was going to lift her hand, she realized she was stuck.
"Red." she said, her voice quiet "I can't take my hads off it." Hellboy looked confused "What do you mean you can't-"
It happened so suddenly. By now everyone figured that the cteature wasn't a regular horse and could in fact understand everything that had been said. Like a lightning from a clear sky it took off in a fascinating speed. Hellboy cried out his loves name while Abe's breath has been stolen. He finally understood what was going on and Liz was in deep trouble.
At this point both of them were running after the two. But they could never match the speed of the beast. Liz knew she had to do something when she saw where the creature was headed. She tried to concentrate on increasing the heat inside of her, until she burst into blue flames.
The creature let out a pained screech full of agony and fear and if it wasn't going in an unhuman speed before, it sure was now. Abe would later tell that it sounded nothing like a sound horses make. It resembled a human scream, but then times more terrifying.
All the agents looked from their work when they heard the commotion. And all of them jumped to their feet when a horse, that was on fire, ran past and straight into the water.
Liz could feel the water detaching her body from the beast. Even though she couldn't feel it anywhere around her, she still kept herself hot enough to boil it slightly.
Then she felt something grab her arm and pull her upwards. Thinking it was the beast she thrashed as much as she could, but when they broke to the surface and she could hear her boyfriend's shouts to try and calm her down, she stilled almost immediately.
Abe was surprised to see them both covered in some sort of black goo when they got out of the water. He pointed it out and told them it would be best to clean up. They didn't have anything against it and left him alone.
The next twenty minutes were chaotic. Agents ran all around the place, some tending to Liz, some questioning Abe and Red, some taking samples from the weird water and some looking for the Kelpie.
"A Kelpie? What's that?" Hellboy asked. "Well, it is a water creature living mostly in Scotland and Ireland. Because it's so far away from BPRD, we don't know much about it. That's why I couldn't figure it out for so long. However, what we do know is that in water it takes shape of a horse with a finn and on land of a beautiful horse or human." Hellboy grumbled "Well, I'm gonna kill it after they're done getting the information." if it was him it would go after, he wouldn't be surprised. But it dared lay a hoove on his Liz and that's a sin he can't forgive.
About thirty minutes later the trio joined the agents in looking for the Kelpie. They had to split up, which left Abe alone. Not that it was dangerous anymore, the Kelpie would be hurt. Abe was afraid it would die before he'd get his information and he scolded himself for feeling this way.
A few meters from him the reeds rustled and something dragging on the ground could be heard. That must be it. Abe thought. He stealthily crept to the spot and peeked between the reeds. And there it was.
It was a woman. She layed on her side, her back facing Abe. She was naked and covered in the substance from the water. Her back was badly burnt and she sounded exhausted, only shallow breaths and quiet noises of pain leaving her mouth.
He slowly came out of his hiding spot as to not scare her too much, but she was too weak to move. He came around her and saw her face. Without all the goo she'd be very beautiful. He didn't know if it'd be apropriate to calm her, so he just looked at her reasuringly, at least he tried to do so, and called to the nearby agents.
He felt strangely calm knowing the Kelpie was safe with the agents. He once again, couldn't understand his feelings. At least he could go home now.
* * * * *
Please leave a like and/or a comment if you want part two ;)
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pjstafford · 4 years
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A Look at my 2020
The end of the year is upon us. It’s been a tough one for all of us. It is a year we will all remember forever. I want to do a positive reflection of this year. I will probably write a blog about what I hope our country’s New Years Resolutions should be. The thoughts on that have been rolling around my head for a few days. But today, December 16, at 4:30 a.m. and unable to sleep, that 2020 familiar dread of what will happen today waking me early, I want to look at some positives. I want to unwrap the positives of 2020 like a Christmas gift before Christmas so that I can wrap myself in them as a blanket of warmth. One thing that I have been truly impressed with is the resilience of the human spirit. Let’s call this a resilience exercise.
Counting my blessings one by one...
1. I am alive. Surviving is a cause for celebration. As far as I know I have been COVID free...although there were a few days in April or early May when I was sick with something and in Feb I had the strangest cold in my life and this time last year weeks of fatigue ended in frozen shoulder syndrome on Christmas Eve. See, I want to be thankful, but I don’t want to be naive in my retrospection. Best to be honest. I’m not sure if I had COVID or not, but if I did I survived with relatively minor symptoms. Every cough or sniffle I feared in a completely irrational way was COVID. There was the week I walked around sniffing everything to make sure I could still smell. It dawns on me it is going to be difficult to write a honest and, yet, positive, retrospective of 2020. I am alive, but I have never been less healthy. I’ve gained weight. I haven’t had the physical exercise to which I am accustomed and now when I try to take a long walk I realize my stamina is gone. It will take years of concentrated effort once things are “back to normal” for me to become normal again. It wasn’t that I didn’t try. I did yoga daily in the Spring and switched to an online Tai chi class in the summer, but I don’t live near beauty or anything interesting so wasn’t motivated to walk and just my everyday life of lockdown in a studio apartment meant less movement. All of which sounds even to me like not very good justification. Did I mention though that I survived. I am alive. I will take that as blessing number one.
2. No one I care about very deeply has died or even been seriously ill from COVID. Doesn’t March 2020 seem far away? I don’t want to be dismissive of 300;000 dead especially with more to come. I or someone I love could still be gone by New Years Day. But in March and April we held our breaths for an apocalypse and at some point most of us decided to take a breath. I don’t know really if it’s good or bad that we have simply adjusted our normal and the number deaths we are willing to accept. It’s bad, what am I saying? It’s bad. But how long can we wait in fear? So I don’t know, but I want to count as a blessing that those I love have all survived to date. I cannot vanquish the fear, but I can be grateful for survival.
3. I have maintained employment in a bad economy and have mostly been able to work from home. There have been some struggles. Sometimes the work I do is depressing. Sometimes I feel I don’t make a difference. There has never been a worse time to be an advocate...or a person with disability, or a caregiver, or a provider agency, or a health care professional. I have maintained employment.
4. I count among my blessings the fact that I had a wonderful 2020 before....remember there was a 2020 before. I love when my work takes me to Santa Fe for a prolonged time. A friend came out in Feb for a wonderful weekend. Another friend came to Albuquerque to see me for my birthday in early March. I remember thinking how social I was in those first ten weeks in 2020. It’s as if I somehow knew....it sustained me.
5. I count among my blessings that when I felt my mental health despair getting at its worse...the strain of living alone in a studio apartment, working from that same apartment and following the Governor orders not to go or do anything. ..that I had friends and two weekends of “risky” behavior; a friend who came for the Fourth of July holiday and an out of state trip to Durango in late September. I’m fortunate that when I had to have human contact my closest friends were there for me
6. I count as my blessings that Biden won the election. It’s not simply a matter of politics. I’m not sure if the last eight months of the Trump Presidency wasn’t worse for my morale than the pandemic because Trump kind of lost whatever semblance of sanity he had. Part of the trepeditation over what each new day will bring is what Trump will say, do, tweet, exacerbate. I still fear revolution in the street before Jan 20. The pandemic is not the worse of what America has gone through. That’s the oddest thing about this year.
7. Here is the blessing which probably will be unpopular. The lockdown and stress of all we have experienced is tough, but the slowdown is a blessing for me. My life had gotten pretty busy. While I miss travel, it’s ok for a year not to have had the time suck that travel for work entails. I will be so happy the first work trip I get to go on, but I feel like 2020 has given me the gift of time. It’s odd because, like many, my creative sense has suffered. I have written almost nothing. Still, I often think of a Dylan lyric, maybe in the next life I will be able to hear myself think. I could hear myself think this year. Unfortunately I thought about the existentialist angst of the meaning of life and my failures as a human being and I don’t think there is enough time still to process the effects of the pandemic and I’m sick to death of the sound of my thoughts, but....I have been given this unique gift of time. Even on December 16th I am not rushed to shop, to cook, to decorate, to go to a zillion parties. It’s a different year. The Holiday will still come. It is pleasant not to feel urgency over, let’s face it, non-urgent things. I am mentally and emotionally fatigued, but not nearly as physically exhausted as I was this time last year
8. The next one is a big one. The gift of living in the moment. I have spent my entire life since 7th grade when Miss O’Neil gave me a copy of The Rubyait of Omar Khayyam trying to live with the philosophy of living for the now. Clear the cups of past regrets...tomorrow, why I may be myself with yesterday’s seven thousand years. The only time I have ever truly experience this is in a handful of concert experience. Even now, I fear for my future and I blame myself for my mistakes. Still, my relationship with time has changed. There is the sun rising and setting and that is a day. Seasons will change. But the gift of time means I can approach my day differently. When five o clock comes on a workday, a needed nap is a step away. No where to go on a Friday night... no where I can go...means the weekend rhythm exists only as I define it. The simple pleasures we always take for granted mean something more now. There is a coffee truck that stops near me on Fridays and Saturdays. When it first started stopping I was over the moon that I could walk and get a latte with fairly little risk. If I go to the grocery store and have a conversation with a stranger, it is different than it was before. Mindfulness exercise and meditation is one thing, but nothing can compare with this year to further my lessons in this pursuit. May I take the lesson with me into years to come.
9. Zoom...yes, of course I have zoom fatigue. But five friends in five different states having a monthly drink together on zoom is a benefit of the pandemic. I watched a movie this year with someone who lives in Brazil. I celebrated a friend’s sixtieth person even though I couldn’t be with her. I’ve attended book discussions and readings in New York and I already have tickets to an event in March. Kind of love New York. I’ve never been there in person. Just a lot happens there. Educationally and socially the world is now open to me. I am not limited to what is going on in my community. I hope this doesn’t completely go away.
10. Finally, storytelling and music. I found it hard to read new things in the lockdown for a while, but in March friends asked me to a virtual book club of three books I already read and we reread them together which took us into the summer. I rediscovered the Foundation series of Asimov and suddenly I could read again! My favorite book I’ve read published in 2020 is Jess Walter’s The Cold Million. I did read a digital advance copy of David Duchovny’snew book due out in 2021 and it is, in fact, the breakout novel I knew this hot young writer would eventually write. Looking forward to 2021 book club! I finally binged Breaking Bad and The Travelers as well as The Queens gambit and watched Peanut Butter Falcon. I am doing a disability focused watch on the X Files and I better kick it it the rear because I’m presenting on it in Feb. at a conference. My God, Dylan put out his first original music in eight years. It will take me eight years to fully ingest it and enjoy it. You see, no matter what happens, humanity will tell its stories and gather to make its songs. It’s that human resilience. Creation of art is not trivial. It’s vital. It has continued in this odd and strange year. It is humanity’s greatest gift and I have definitely used it this year as a resilience and growth tool.
Those are my top blessings in this horrific and, yet, wondrous year. However, you have been impacted, what we all share in common is that In a very short time it will be a memory of a year in the past.
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wezzaner · 5 years
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Evie’s and Doug’s relationship develops the best, Pt. 3.1: Descendants Timeline
Yes, there’s going to be another part to this. Even if you aren’t an Evie/Doug person, just give this a read. It’s more of a timeline analysis, actually.
This has taken me a lot longer than parts 1 and 2 did for a lot of reasons. The most important one was that I was very conflicted about what to write. And my conflict had absolutely nothing to do with the Evie/Doug relationship at all.
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 My conflict was strictly about how the writers did all the characters dirty with the canon timeline. All of them, I am making no exceptions. I am very confident in my interpretation of the Evie/Doug relationship that I actually have two different analysis depending on which timeline I chose to work with, but I am not choosing the canon timeline.
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Why I chose not to work with the canon timeline:
Simply put, I am not about to do those characters a disservice.
If a year and a half have actually passed between D2 and D3, then I will lose all the admiration, respect, love and appreciation I have for Evie, Uma, Ben and maybe Mal. And I am not okay with that. And they don’t just screw over those four, it’s almost everyone. “They’re just characters”, yeah, I know that. But I grew up with them. And that’s not okay with me, screwing them up doesn’t sit well with me.
And the canon timeline is messed up anyway, I think.
Here’s the supposed canon timeline of the movies:
Over two years have passed since the VKs were brought from the isle.
The VKs supposedly being brought at the beginning of an academic year, around September.
Six months between D1 and D2 that would mean D2 took place between mid-February and late-May (second semester of an academic year, I am playing loose with the six months not being exact).
For D3 to take place a year and a half later, it would be mid-July to late-August. (Audrey is in the middle of summer school, again I am playing loose with the uttered timing being exact).
The problem is, someone posted about Jay being 17 and Carlos being 14 in the first book, and another pointed out yet somehow in D3 Jay is 18 and Carlos is only a year younger at 17. If someone could clarify that to me, I would be grateful.
The second discrepancy is Audrey’s royal return. Audrey says, “It has been a bit of a tough year.” Then proceeds to recap the entirety of the first two movies. Now, we know that Cotillion takes place six months after the coronation (televised report thing in the beginning of D2), that means Ben’s proclamation was passed SEVEN months before the events of D2 (which takes place over, like, three days). That actually leaves only five months between the events of D2 and D3 (again, playing loose with the ONE YEAR thing).
I am sorry, I just can’t get behind the canon timeline suggesting that:
Evie, heart of gold, compassionate, striving for goodness and equal opportunities Evie, put Dizzy and the other VKs on the back burner for a year and a half. I mean, Dizzy was sent an invitation straight away after cotillion, it probably took a few days. That’s not the Evie that was revealed after a strong character arc in D1 or the one developed in D2. I refuse to take that, I am sorry.
Uma, fiercely determined, a leader in her own rights, a rebel seeking retribution and a fair good life, just swam for a year and half around the barrier and in her time outs, discovered coconuts? What the actual hell? Uma is proactive, she won’t just hangout, staking the premises for a year and a half. She has her magic now, she would have done something, anything. But not make her presence and whereabouts known for 18 months? No, no way.
Mal left her arch enemy roaming. If there’s one thing Uma and Mal have in common, it is that they are both proactive. Mal won’t be sitting still, watching around for Uma. Mal would have scoured the freaking lands, seas and where ever else.
Finally, King Care Bear. Ben is the only AK who has been to the isle aside from guards and Lonnie. He saw, he knew, and he promised. He extended Uma the olive branch, he admitted he got sucked into his duties of being king and that the plan was always to start with four kids and expand the program. And he just abandoned ship for a year and a half? Going with the canon timeline destroys Ben’s… everything.
I am not okay with how this went. Not at all. It’s pissing me off and that’s why I refuse to take the canon timeline and just run with it.
Which is why, I have worked on putting together my own timeline, and I even put together a few points that prove it. This is gonna be all over the place, I hope you can follow.
Let’s establish the timeline, shall we?
Like I said before, I was going nuts trying to fit the timeline to the supposed narrative. I was almost loosing it when I found the clip (well, the poorly disguised recap really) that is Audrey’s royal return.
 It made me pull my hair out, really.
Now, assuming that:
The academic year starts in early September and ends in early June (maybe late May),
Ben brings the VKs at the beginning of the school year (which is a perfect time, actually), then D1 takes place throughout September and early October and D2 occurs around early April. That gives space for Audrey to have a leave off her second semester and all, instead of just dropping out mid semester. (re-check the second discrepancy in the canon timeline for further detailing).
Now assuming that Audrey was accurate when she said, ‘a year ago’, that would place D3 around September, which I highly doubt because D3 takes place in summer. So, let’s assume she wasn’t accurate and that D3 takes place, say, mid- July.
That would make sense regarding:
The Dizzy situation. Maybe three months is how long it took for the arrangements of establishing the VKs integration program and all.  
It would also explain how Uma spent only three months circling the isle because, as I said before, my girl Uma is a proactive, crafty little shit who wouldn’t just passively swim around for a year and a half waiting for shit to happen.
Also, Mal tells Ben they’re getting more guards for the Uma problem (scene right before the proposal), I don’t think they’d wait all this time to get more guards where the King resides, really.
Granted, that wouldn’t explain how much the isle changed and how everyone wants in on the move to Auradon and how all the parents are suddenly nice, good people looking out for their kids. But come on, D3 was a giant, unexplainable plot hole anyway. (I got issues with almost every minute in the movie, but I appreciate it for what it is. But come on, there should have been a screening process for people getting off the isle. Wasn’t that the point of the applications?)
This timeline though means that we’re in deep shit regarding how old everyone is:
Ben turns sixteen in D1 on coronation day and he’s still sixteen ya’ll, it hasn’t been a full year yet.
Jay is graduating, so Jay is eighteen.
I know Carlos and Jane are supposed to be younger, so I assume it is Jane’s sweet sixteen celebrated in D3.
I have no idea what’s up with Evie’s and Mal’s ages, though. But taking into consideration the birthday incident from the book, I suppose they are the same age? They’re either Ben’s age or they are seventeen. I keep going back and forth and that’s the only thing I can come up with.
From the whole sandbox/Shrimpy backstory Gil tells in D2, I can only assume Uma is the same age. No idea about Harry and Gil though, but I am assuming Uma’s age for them, give or take one year at most.
King Care Bear IS too young to be proposing. Ben’s and Mal’s relationship moved way too fast for a couple of sixteen-year olds. At least from my POV, you’re free to think what you want.
The entire franchise is just one major plot hole. That I love so much.
Please, please, please, take the time to let me know If I missed anything. This has been bothering me since I first saw the movie. Maybe I overlooked something or another. Either way, let me know what you think.
Relationships I’d consider canon-confirmed:
Only FOUR romantic relationships became canon in the actual Descendants timeline. Ben and Mal, obviously. Evie and Doug. Chad and Audrey (broken in somewhere between October and April). Carlos and Jane (Got together in April).
I am adding Jay/Gil in D3, we all saw that, right?
Harry/Uma post D3. Because you know it and I know it. And we all talk about how it will happen. Because it will happen.
The only couples who are confirmed true loves are Mal/Ben and Evie/Doug.
Harry/Uma will be confirmed post D3. Evie and/or Audrey will match make. Uma, tired of his flirtatious behavior, will seek Mal’s help to put Harry under a spell so she could save him with a true love’s kiss and assures Mal it will work. But she will get cold feet and Evie will get her sweet, sweet revenge.
He will be saved, of course.
Extra point I’d like to highlight:
Mal states in D1 that there’s no dating on the isle, that it’s mostly gang activity. That statement alone just explains all the relationship dynamics in the franchise involving any VK, but everyone is overlooking it.
It explains (somewhat, but not really) why Mal was hesitant about being in love in D2, thus doubting the concept of love, letting the pressure get to her and running off to the isle.
 That explains Jay’s playboy attitude, as well, if you think about it. Which is close to Evie’s flirtatious personality pre-Doug. That explains Carlos’s hesitance to ask Jane out, he hadn’t done this before and he’s only fifteen.
 That explains why Uma and Harry aren’t “together-together” even though they are together. Like I said above, Uma and Harry should be considered future-canon because “Uma knew, try as she might, she couldn’t hurt his feelings. It was all part of the game of question-and-rejection they’d played forever.” I haven’t read the books but thanks to tumblr, I know this exists.
Like for the core four, the isle wasn’t a safe environment for a relationship. It even explains why she would be reluctant to get with him and it develops Harry’s own flirtatious behavior. Like Jay! And, again, Evie pre-Doug.
You’re welcome, Huma people!
Now that the (well, MY) timeline is out of the way, I can go back to topic. I don’t know about what you think, but this timeline and the whole “gang activity” ordeal adds to Evie’s and Doug’s motive to take things slow.
Next part will all be about Evie’s and Doug’s relationship. I have a lot to say about that one.
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