#that i have to be different and thats not inherently bad but I am forced by higher powers that didn't care for me before hand to be further

[dykedvonte]

Ghouls in mass probably crave a tenderness and kindness they can no longer feel or give out. They are repulsive just in the sense of what they are, dead people who didn't quit die, corpses allowed to walk and think past their atomic burial. They reek. They are falling apart. They have no skin to caress, no lips to purse in disgust or lay upon a partner or friend. They are not allotted the kindness of community we see in the settlements. They band together to share their pain, marked by what they once were and never asked who they could continue to be.

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Poor rendition of queer characters in HH and HB

Here I am again talking about queer representation in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, this time just more generally. Because it's always a little weird to me when people claim HH/HB to have good queer representation, when in actuality most of the queer characters are either just blatant stereotypes or get mishandled somehow. And with Helluva Boss recently winning the Queertys - Web series reward I think that this is probably a pretty good time to acknowledge that kind of stuff (as people have done before).

TW: Sexual assault, R@pe (when referring to the actions of characters)

Blitzø (Pansexual): is very sexual and seen on screen multiple times either having sex or just having had sex. Pretty much fits the general stereotype of queer men always being sexual and also the stereotype of pansexuals just sleeping with everybody. Like, he literally screwed the mutual Ex of his coworkers even though he knew how much that guy hurt them.

Stolas (Gay): also mostly sexual (from how he was introduced) and he is in a pretty terrible "relationship" with Blitzø, which includes coercion, SA, Power dynamics and fetishization. Another very sex-driven queer man. Also just great proof for the people assuming that queer relationships are inherently predatory, unhealthy and never work out.

Moxxie (Bisexual): is often forced into a very feminine role because even in relationships with women, queer men always have to be pointed out to be feminine and putting a guy in a dress is funny I guess.

Fizzarolli & Asmodeus (Queer): they're actually better than a lot of the other characters here but there is still some of that uneven power dynamic going on with them and there are obvious issues with their relationship. Overall they aren't too bad though. They didn't get that much sexual focus and what they got is kinda warranted since Ozzie is the Lust demon. But there is that one scene with Fizz stepping out of his car with Dildo confetti canons (I think) and that was sorta weird, since in an episode before that they presented Crimson as being homophobic and stereotypical for assuming queer men are all obsessed with dicks. Which is just interesting because thats most of the queer men in Vivzepops stories.

Chaz (Queer): just a sexually abusive asshole because we definitely needed more predatory queer men in this show.

Sally May (Trans mtf): basically the single recognized trans character in both shows and she only had one line. After that they made fan merch for her which consisted of her in a bikini with her bulge being drawn pretty visibly (multiple times). Of course there's nothing wrong with Trans people who don't have surgery but it's just a tiny bit weird to me that fanservice merchandise is what she got reduced to, when something like that wasn't even the joke of the only line she had in the show and because she hasn't recieved any kind of focus after that.

Angel Dust (Gay): now there is a lot of stuff that could be said about Angel. On one hand he is another very sexual gay man whose screentime often just consists of sex jokes and references. On the other hand that's a big point for his character. How he tries to act confident in his sexuality when in reality it's the main source of his problems. Though he does often harass other men in the show and that's just so unnecessary. Talking about Angel mostly leads into discussing if he is good representation for SA victims or not, which is something I don't want to talk about that much because I feel like it's not my place to judge that as someone who never has experienced SA. I'm gonna say that I do find Viv's treatment of him outside of the show insensitive (with the pro-shipping, diminishing Valentino as an Abuser and general sexualization of the characters) but as far as the portrayal of him in the show goes I've heard different opinions and you should read the discussion's of actual r@pe survivors about this topic if you want to know about more about it.

Husk (Queer): I don't have anything to say about Husk. He is a very refreshing queer man in these show's and there is nothing bad about him I could think of right now.

Valentino (Queer): for him I mostly want to talk about how he is treated outside of the show which doesn't sit right with me. He is a villian in HH so it's understandable that he is gonna do effed up stuff. I also like that the show tries to make a point about how men get sexually assaulted too (wether they succeeded in that inside the show I'm not gonna judge too hard like I said). But there are a lot of people who not only sexualize him, but also his actions and his relationship to Angel and from what I know Viv never really spoke out against that. She actually interacts with people who do that stuff and I it's just kinda gross.

Vox (Queer): I also don't have a lot to say about him. He and Val are a couple so he is dating a r@pist but he is also a villain so you can't really expect more from him. Especially since he would still be interacting with a r@pist even if they weren't dating.

Alastor (Aromantic, Asexual): is obviously not interested in relationships or sex but his identity is pretty much ignored by a huge amount of the fandom. Vivzepop never say's anything about people blatantly invalidating him like that. It seems to me like she doesn't care about characters who can't be involved in shipping but still wanted to have more diversity in her show so she just called him AroAce. In Hazbin Hotel he isn't bad representation though. His sexuality is never the focus but thats fine, it's mostly just the treatment he gets outside of HH which I don't like.

Charlie (Bisexual): doesn't have a lot to her sexuality. This is something I talked about pretty lengthy in my other post, specifically about the lack of Sapphic content in both shows, so I won't go into too much detail here. Her relationship with Vaggie would probably be the best in both shows if it wasn't for the fact that they both never get the real spotlight as a couple. And there is that thing in Vivzepops stories where the women are pretty much sexless without men and that's obviously something that is generally an issue when talking about the lack of Sapphic representation (which is also a topic heavily tied to sexism). Charlie's portrayal isn't necessarily stereotypical but that's just because there is nothing to her identity in the show.

Vaggie (Lesbian): like I said I already talked about the Chaggie relationship so now I wanna focus on something I didn't even mention in that post. Her name literally being Vagina and that's apparently funny because she is a Lesbian so she obviously likes Vagina. That's just incredibly stereotypical and also excludes Trans Lesbians and Asexual Lesbians who don't want sex. The whole joke was that Adam named her that because he is obsessed with sex and he's a jerk. But her name was always Vagina even in the pilot (from what I know Adam wasn't conceived then and neither was the idea that Vaggie even is a former exterminator).

That's all the queer characters I could think of. I hope I didn't miss any.

I thought about including Millie here too. But she was also already included in my other discussion post and I still don't know if she is canonically Bisexual of if that is just a headcannon so I didn't put her here.

I'm just gonna say that i don't have a problem with queer men being sexual (or any queer person in that regard). But it's pretty much every one of her queer male characters. This is especially bad when a lot of the relationships are toxic as well.

I just think too many characters fit stereotypes and to me that isn't good queer representation. If you like the depiction of queer characters in HH or HB that's good for you and you don't have to agree with me. But you also can't really deny a lot of this stuff and you can't expect others to just be fine with bland, hurtful and sometimes even toxic representation like there is in these shows.

[mouseratz]

we really need to talk more abt the idea of oppositional sexism (the two "sexes" being Opposite in every way) cuz I think it's very foundational to the idea that talking about transmasc vs transfemme issues are like......in conflict with each other like they're fighting each other, one cancels out the other (which is NOT denying trans people being transphobic & transmisogynistic specifically to each other. That DOES happen. My argument is that this concept is part of it- that many transmascs see transfemmes talking about their issues and take it as a Personal Insult because it translates to them as "my problems don't exist/don't matter" because the two concepts are seen as inherently incompatible, that there's Only Space For One, whatever a woman experiences must be the total opposite of what a man experiences and entirely separate, applied to trans issues.)

I also think further separation of the issue (ie, transmisandry/transandrophobia coined for Special Boy's Only Oppression) isn't particularly helpful. it's complicated because even when you're trans we've all still been raised in a patriarchy, right, so we're still used to seeing gender in this restrictive, binary lens (and often have that lens forced upon us by cis people/broader society), and as a result, we still force that on each other, too, even while claiming to want to break free of it.

it seems like to me a lot of transmascs read "transmisogyny describes something different and specific" as "since I don't experience that specific thing, I am Objectively Less Oppressed and what hardships I do experience been Entirely Denied and now I'm angry and going to take it out on trans women" (which, yes, for the people reading at home, is transmisogynistic. it's like a cycle).

"Why don't I get what they get? are you implying I'm less important?" is also a big reaction. which I think people are so touchy about because of the way transphobia makes us all very used to and defensive around being denied and overlooked or attacked. but the answer to that isn't "lash out at other trans people for talking about what they're going through even when it's different than your experience". a lot of it is emotional and not wholly rational but when you say that everyone also feels very bad hearing that because of sexism characterizing all emotional arguments as bad & invalid (hysterical women, etc etc. which most trans people will be seen as at one point or another.), but I don't think you can sort out how you feel and think if you don't recognize that emotion is, yes, part of it.

(that being said, emotion is very often a part of many of our decisions and opinions and arguments, even when we claim it isn't, because thats just kind of how people In General operate. the concept of the unbiased flawless logical argument is nearly impossible to achieve irl. so. it's just that sexism like makes it so that all arguments from men are default perceived as logical and all arguments from women are default perceived as emotional. the oppositional bit again yeah....)

idk where I'm going. basically. can we just talk about shit without getting vicious with misplaced anger and hating anyone who has a different life experience than u. because that's what I see with this whole thing. and with transmisandry/transandrophobia specifically I've just seen way too many people who talk loudly about it and then turn around and shit on trans women to take the concept at fully face value.

[aqours]

and the sad thing is i think. vol 9 had a chance to actually discuss death. i'm going to be extremely nice to RWBY and ignore my dislike for Jaune and how WBY has become and i will even ignore how awful everything and stupid around Penny's death is. i am going to be extraordinarily generous amd pretend that Penny's second death was written good and we should feel bad for Jaune for it

death is terrifying. Ruby and Jaune both have been completely traumatized and had years of their lives shaped by Pyrha's and Penny's deaths. Ruby got Penny back and now shes gone again. Jaune had to kill a friend. so they find a world where death is... not final.

i am going to say that yes, i view what thr Ever Afterians do is suicide. they commit suicide. they Paper Pleasers commited suicide. i dont think thats. inherently bad. thats how their world works, you fulfill a purpose, you die... you come back. its a fantasy world with a fantasy system about how death works, and the people of that world embrace it. they do not have thr philosophy of death that we of the real world or team RWBY have. death is not an end to them, and they dont have qualms about utilizing it for themselves when they wish to be reborn. its ok for them to have an alien attitude about death!

one thing i REALLY liked was when they were talking about the Paper Pleasers. team RWBY found it weird, but they accepted this world worked differently. Jaune was in the wrong because hes a teaumatized man with an understanding that to him, to Remnant, death is... final. he was trying to cope with his own trauma by forcing this outlook on a group people who would find OUR understanding and attitude about death and its finality as alien as we are to them.

and theres an appeal to it. its an appeal i could see both Ruby and Jaune, neither of whom are bastions of mental health thinking constantly about.

"Could I have a chance to be better, to do everything over?"

theyre tired. being depressed is tiring. anyone who has been depressed... knows that. its like being ao unendingly tired you dont ever remember what its like to not be tired. and when depression is so bad you think about ending it: from firsthand experience, i get the appeal of Ascension. the idea of waking up and i can be someone new, someone who isnt tired. i think that would appeal to Ruby and Jaune.

i think this should have been the entire theme of v9.

i think v9 should have been about death. it should have been about Ruby and Jaune's trauma regarding the deaths of those whonthey care about, about Atlas, everything reaching rock bottom. both of them barely coping and in a world where death... is different. but not for them.

Ruby should have held the teacup. she should have been contemplating suicide but ultimately didnt, because of things she came to a conclusion about death in this volume. Ruby Rose should have contemplated suicide in this world where death is different but not do so because she grew. they SAID the theme of this volume is "you are enough" but nothing happens to show it. she should not have attempted suicide like this: she should have contemplated it and decided not to do it with what she had learned and come ti understand.

RWBY Volume 9 should have been about Ruby and Jaune finally, TRULY coming to terms with the death of their precious friends and finally being able to fully move forward. This should have been one of the most emotionaply intense and heavy seasons. It should have been about death, its inevitibility, its finality, and above all making peace with it and the strength to persevere even when yearning for the end in the hopes of something better.

"You are enough."

[prisonguards]

feel free to not answer this if you do not want to but u have alluded to toxic smallidarity a couple times. expand on that, if u would like? because i have some ideas but i am DESPERATE for more. love my little guys as stupid soft freaks who hold hands and affectionately wrestle but i also. listen i’m a weak man. anyways .

so I think the route I most typically take with it in s2 is… possessiveness. like over possessiveness, with the whole toy angle fueling it until Joel thinks of Jimmy as basically an object he can own. his own possession and property. maybe steals him away to put somewhere on display in Stratos. have his own little temple like Fwhip has his little Sheriff shrine, but Joel gets the /original/, the real deal. theres a lot you can do with the God/mortal angle and it creates a pretty inherent power difference, depending on how many God powers you give Joel, and obv I already subscribe to the kinda body horror toy headcanon ausgus. and ofc that toy transformation can be pushed. all the way. until Jimmys fully inanimate.

*shaking like a small wet dog* I cant hold myself back from talking abt fucked up marriage any longer. I think s2s dynamic lends itself best to a kinda onesided love/obsession (Joel->Jimmy). with all the teasing and bullying this season, Joel could offer a solution to finally end the torment, if Jimmy will just be his. Joel will be nice to him, the tricks will end, Jimmy will get treated like royalty and a God, everyone /will/ respect him, hell have Joel to back him up, divine enforcement for his laws. he just has to come live in Stratos as his bride husband. Jimmys not sure if he really loves Joel, or if itll be everything he promises, but its nonetheless tempting, so he takes the offer. its kind of an awkward forced domesticity, and yeah Joel still treats him a bit like hes some cute little toy and not perhaps an equal, but its not SO bad. its just maybe not love either.

Im sorry I dont know what possessed me thats like a full fleshed au ausgsu I just. really love fucked up marriages and complicated relationships

[sirswooshnoodles]

The thing is I really dont want to believe that white ppl are inherently racist but every i see white ppl like u justify their racism I find it difficult to say that its not true. Clearly you didn't watch or process the video if u think that the only problem with using AAVE is using it incorrectly. AAVE is not a language its a dialect and one of the main reasons that it exists is because of decades if not centuries of segregation. The reason white white ppl and black ppl from the same area might speak differently is because of legally mandated segregation that mandated that black and white ppl live separately. These policies were always at the expense of black ppl and many of them still exist today in the form of redlining and discriminatory housing policies. White ppl forced black ppl to live on the outskirts of society and they continue to do so and thats how segregation. One of the results of this is black ppl having their own dialects in different regions. Black Americans have had so much stolen from us and AAVE is one of few ways that we retain our culture and identity. I am Black and dont use AAVE i am not from somewhere that AAVE is spoken and it literally only takes the bare minimum amount of empathy to realize why that might be wrong and appropriative.

Like I'm really trying to give u the benefit of the doubt here and hope that explaining things might help you understand why using AAVE as a nonblack person is racist but at the end of the day I know that the majority of white ppl will go out of their way to be racist no matter what and that that is just the world we live in. It makes me sad and disheartens me but there often seems to be little that i can do to change it. But please prove me wrong by just taking a minute to educate yourself and use some empathy and understand why an oppressed marginalized group might not want you using a part of their culture just because you think that it sounds cool.

I can understand not wanting anything else taken from you/them, but I just don’t see how using words is stealing?

Genuinely not sure how using a word that isn’t a slur or otherwise negative or demeaning is inherently racist.

I can see how it might upset some people but that’s not the same as it doing actual harm. Like, I’m not making fun of anyone or demeaning anyone, nor am I making money or another form of profit off of someone else’s culture, so I struggle to see how it’s bad or inherently racist.

I sometimes wish I could give some racist people out there a taste of their own medicine. Oppression, because of racism or any other reason, is awful. There is no justification for any form of racism or oppression.

But again, even after this explanation, which was a bit more like a history lesson, I still can’t see how using words that aren’t bad or hurtful in and of themselves is bad.

I’m very sorry if I’m hurting you, but I don’t see how what I’m doing/saying is harmful.

Also sorry my posts are so long I’m not sure how to put it more concisely.

[gurkemeie]

i keep thinking about the context of resilience. when things go wrong, you weather the storm, and you have faith that things will be okay again.

my friend can handle any bad situation, but she handles the aftermath bad.

i am the opposite.

i feel like i need hope to stay alive. i need a beacon that i can look to, to make the pain im experiencing okay.

why was i so angry?

the context, is that im generally a very easygoing person. i am not easy to anger. i take the high road, i dont want to dwell on those emotions. theres no point. it’s greasy and sticky and gets everywhere. we’re all gonna die. pass the remote.

i was angry, because there was an inherent expectation that i had room in my life to suffer. that i could endure snark, coldness, hollowness, pointlessness.

its okay, because everyone has a home where you can unclench, loosen your tie and say: oh honey, you wouldnt believe the day i just had.

i dont have that.

i love my family. in every sense of the word. i feel this indescribable, blinding ache whenever i see them take on more than they deserve.

i am barely hanging on at home. i want to be present, but i can barely endure seeing the constant loop of misery, of pain, of trauma.. im so burned out. and im stuck, and i feel the grand finale of all the pain and trauma and suffering fast approaching, and part of me is longing for the other side, because a different type of trauma and pain seems enticing, especially one in solitude. its so, deeply, utterly, disgusting, and selfish, and it eats at me that i desire it so much.

its purposeful solitude i seek though. im not arrogant to believe that i can give my mom the quality care she deserves. i am forced and expected to be a village. and i have to know that im trying my best and i will fall short.

if i could have my solitude, if id know that shes in good hands and being taken care of, i could unclench, and i could heal a little bit, and id return and i could give her more quality.

but i cant

because im always here

i have a home, but not in the sense that everyone else does.

on my way home, i unclench. i sit on the train and i look at the all of the houses peppering a hill, the twinkling lights. i see the idyllic bike road that makes me think i have to go biking there sometime, maybe have a taste of what it would feel like to live in a painting. the trains, then the big trees, and i slowly start to become tense again.

my home is in liminal spaces. the transition from one place to next. the in betweens.

but then, that was taken away from me too.

work from home.

this fucking job was taking more than i was willing to give.

and for what? for nothing. when my mom takes, its okay, because she needs me. and im willing to give more than i should.

but when they take, there is no end in sight. they take and take, because the process of taking has been romanticized, and its so fucking cruel

how are you able to feel this entitled to someone?

of fucking course im angry. and thats the context.

its cruel to take from people who already give for a living.

[eroticcannibal]

I was watching a playlist of Black anarchist media a while back (i think i started with something from the thought slime eyeball zone and got swept up in autoplay?) and one of the big takeaways from video after video is that education is both a huge part of state power and is a right, and the only way for leftists to take back power while ensuring the empowerment of children is literally to homeschool/home ed/find a decentralised local solution (aka home ed-ing in uk terms, its all home ed just different scales depending on how you and others live)

And it's! So! Neglected! I barely hear about it at all on here (even tho i'm forced to listen to the navelgazing of anarcho-primitivists and libertarians and whatnot every day but ppl cant make time for a single critical thought about kids... especially in this political climate where schools are shooting further down the drain)

Your blog is a much needed breath of fresh air i must say. More power to home edders

Honestly its shocking how much the rights of children are ignored and how controversial an opinion like "the state that we agree is bad controlling education might also be bad" is. Like, I'm sorry, my country is fashy? Do you actually think them controlling education is good? They wanna bring back section 28. Many MANY people working with kids consider kids being queer to be child abuse. ABA methods are used in all schools on all students. They are banning TALKING and GLANCING. Is this meant to be good? And thats just the wild shit going on in the current political climate. That isn't even touching on the inherent failings of the school system that occur regardless of who is in power.

But then again with the attitudes most people have towards kids no matter their political leanings, why am I even surprised.

[pizzaboat]

I keep forgetting that I didn't really get "early intervention" for my autism. The people responsible for helping me were too lazy for that.

I just got ostracised and encouraged to start masking heavily, so by the end of primary school I would begin to panic in first year, and develop a good mask in second year that had all the adults questioning my diagnosis

"They don't look autistic! You did such a good job on them! They're so smart and impressive! Definitely fit for university!"

Me developing real insecurities: oh yeah, it's all coming together..!

And like, I'm crashing now, just a bit. And it's weird, cause I really did start liking things I didn't like at all to fit in with my peers. Mainly the girls cause they wouldn't sexually harass me in my experience.

They were bitchy, but that's just kids being immature kids.

And like, clothes, make up, hair shit all that. I have an appreciation for it because of all that, but it's not entirely me (i appreciate it but thats not how I'd express my gender identity)

And masking is what made it hard for me to realise I was trans until I was 16 and I happened to stumble across some Sam Collins videos on YouTube and I got VERY invested in the process of transitioning ftm..

(its also important to note i was away from any social conditioning and was doing less internalising cause I didnt have to mask anymore and also my dysphoria was getting SUPER bad.)

And I wasn't that blind and I started questioning why my dreams about being born AMAB took a weight off my chest, no joke intended.

It's indescribable, like, it feels like taking off someone else's skin and stepping into my own.

Like, I can finally stop pretending to be someone else..? I'm myself and not what others tell me I need to be or am.

There's certainly an element of body horror to it. It would be like if a cis man woke up with a vagina tomorrow–He'd shit himself. And if he were forced to live as a woman he'd kill himself.

Transphobes use that kind argument to say we're insane for wanting to transition, because having anything other than their own hormone levels and genitals, and pronouns sounds disgusting and horrific to them.

But what they don't get is what they're feeling at that concept of a change is gender dysphoria.

We experience that imagined horror every day of our lives and it's not a hypothetical we can walk away from after. It's inescapable for alot of us. And for some of us we internalise it.

I internalised it while masking my autism until it tore me asunder at 16 and I kept nearly having mental break downs when people tried to enforce that I was a pretty girl.

I've spent my entire life pretending to be something else, and someone else for other people. I've pretended to have a different neurotype so people will treat me as a peer and equal, in conversations and relationships because the alternative is just shit.

And I've pretended to be a cis girl cause it tied in with my internalisation and masking and feeling like a freak, or that I was inherently broken.

I did everything back then to be liked. That was the goal. My cultures environment doesn't encourage being different. Not if you wanna survive.

So yeah. I think my autism and transness linked up together to make one hell of a cocktail.

[aliensunflower-fics]

In Defense of Salt AND Sugar: Aka ML Fandom pls chill out.

So I don’t talk much as those who follow me will say I tend to just stick to myself and my own things. HOWEVER, Ive gotten a lot of asks about why I write both Salt and Sugar for Miraculous Ladybug.

The short answer: Both salt and sugar are valid, fun, intriguing things to read and write and the point of writing is to entertain and be entertained.

The long answer: Salt isn’t inherently someone hating on your fav show and sugar isn't someone necessarily giving it a free pass either. Ya’ll are just dramatic as hell.

The LONGER answer:

I write salt because I LIKE Miraculous Ladybug, BUT the show has not lived up to its potential AT ALL. The show could be so much better and the characters are so flawed or full of holes that occasionally I feel FRUSTRATED and mad!

I hate that Alya a character who I was so excited about, gets shafted ignored, sidelined, or written like a jerk! She could have been this great detective working alongside her friend to unmask the villain, but instead she often comes across as pushy, obsessed with Ladynoir or Adrinette, and so damn easily tricked. Not to mention how when shes not gushing over her ‘ships’ shes pushed to the side and ignored. [or you know... LILA]

I hate that Marinette’s crush makes her do things that are so cringy and awkward i feel ill I hate that she’s constantly the only one making mistakes and ‘learning lessons’ when the show has all these other great characters that could use the spotlight and be the ones learning lessons. I hate that she’s so jealous and that she cant ever seem to catch a break as if the show is punishing her constantly.

I HATE that Adrien is a mary sue, how the writers say hes perfect and treat him as such, I hate that he gets to guilt Marinette into fixing everything and dealing with bullies, I wanted a funny, Ron Stoppable, naive boy who learns about real friendships and grows into a great partner. Instead he gets to be pushy and downright a jerk as Chat Noir ignoring his responsibilities, guilting Ladybug with his feelings, never taking no as an answer. He’s not a good role model for kids.

I hate that Chloe got built up to have a redemption arc several times only for the writers to decide that Chloe a teenage girl who needs some serious therapy [and actual reasonable punishment for her actions] is worse than Gabriel child abuse Agreste. She could have been a great lesson on compassion and growth and dealing with your own pain without hurting others. Instead the writers wrote her off completely.

And dont get me started on how the show treats Nino, Kagami, Luka and the rest of the cast. They may as well be a backdrop for the forced love square that we NEVER get a break from. Seriously I’m a sucker for romance but does it need to be EVERY damn episode?! Can’t we just get some wholesome friendship between everyone including Adrien and Marinette at this point like COME ON.

And i’m not even touching on the white washing, awful lessons on responsibility and forgiveness, awful lessons on well so much other stuff really, the guilt trips, the teacher, the fact that she show could be used to teach kids how to better handle negative emotions and the importance of open communication and not keeping quiet about injustice and/or your feelings but instead decided that the main priority should be a love square that gets force fed to us EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.

My point is the show has FLAWS. That doesn’t mean its the worse show ever and it doesn’t mean its not fun, and has a great premise and characters, and so when I write Salt I write it because i’m frustrated! Im frustrated with the show, with the characters, with the writing and so I vent that out with salt I write those characters as their worst selves because I cant stand how the show has decided to treat them and Im ANGRY and disappointed.

It feels good to write salt and to read it. It’s nice to see characters get called out for bad behavior, its nice to read about Adrien not getting the girl. Its nice to occasionally indulge in salt because it validates that the show is flawed and lets you get out that frustration.

BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE

Miraculous Ladybug is a lovely show. It’s a show that decided to give little girls a FEMALE HERO. And not just as a side kick or background character! No they made her the protagonist! Its so important to me that little girls see good well rounded female characters in media.

And even if the show is clumsy about it they are TRYING to build an expansive lore that tickles the theorist brain. And gets people invested in the world.

The show also made Marinette shy, and awkward, and clumsy something a lot of girls deal with during puberty as growing up can literally make you clumsier as your body adjusts. Having a character who tries to be positive and tries to find solutions who solves things with creativity instead of pure violence. Thats LOVELY for young girls to see.

Growing up I loved and admired Kim Possible, and probably would have loved Marinette, even if the shows not perfect I can admit its trying and I can see why people love it as much as they do! And why they write these fluffy sugary fics its the reason I WRITE fluffy sugary things.

Because even though I am frustrated and angry and disappointed with the show, I still see Alya’s potential and how great she is as representation to little girls who want a black female superhero so I write fluff where Alya’s loyalty, compassion, cleverness and her pursuit of justice are center stage.

I see how Adrien could be better and I want him to be better and I WANT him to be the naive funny comic relief the Ron Stoppable to Marinette’s Kim Possible. I want Adrien to grow and learn and spit in his dad’s face I want him to overcome the abuse and be happy. To show people that neglect and abuse doesn’t mean you will get stuck like that forever, that you can overcome that and be a better kinder person.

I want Nino and Kagami, and Luka and Chloe and the class to grow and get attention and have funny moments I want to laugh and make other people laugh! So I write prompts focused around comedy and shenanigans and where the characters get to be fun and silly and make decisions for themselves!

SO IN CONCLUSION:

I write salt AND sugar. I see the value and merit in both sides of the coin, and I respect how other people see the show. I know its easy to get angry with other people in the fandom who see the show differently then you do but please can we put down the weapons and just BREATHE.

Someone who writes salt might LOVE the same show as you, and they might in fact love it so much that they vent their frustrations in angst and salt and cracky fics. Let them vent about how they wish the show was better, leave their tags alone or block them if you cant stand to see it. But dont attack salt writers for ‘hating on your show’ when they might love it just as much as you do but want a way to vent out their feelings.

On the flip someone who writes sugar might NOT be forgiving the show for its flaws, they might see all the same flaws as you but decide to take that frustration and write fluff and fix it fics and sugar because they want to indulge in a version of their favorite show where everything is just... OK. Where everyone is well written and happy and the character development sticks. Stay out of their tags let them have their sugar, they aren't writing it to hurt you just like you don't write salt to hurt them.

So ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each others tags. Let people write SALT if they feel angry and vengeful and disappointment, let them have their tags, let them explore the dark side of the characters, let them rant and rave and be HURT when the characters they love upset them with their actions. Its not your place to tell them to stop, to tell them their feelings are invalid, to tell them that ‘adrien is sweet sunshine boy how dare you’ or ‘alya would never’ or ‘i hate your marinette leaves dupont au’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

AND ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each other tags. Let people write SUGAR if they just want something to feel happy about. Let them makes coffee shop au’s, let them make fix it fics where everything is just happy without needing 8 pages of backstory for why everything is just happy. Let them squeal and gush and talk about the ship they like and the fluff they see. Its not your place to argue with them that the show is flawed, its not cool to ruin their fun by accusing them of not understanding the flaws, to tell them ‘umm actual this character shouldn’t get to be happy’ or ‘wow this is so shallow’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

PS: Now with that said and done. I do have one final message for everyone - If you write/enjoy pedophilia, if you sexualize KIDS. Then get the fuck out of fandom spaces, stop fucking following me, and do everyone salt and sugar a favor by LEAVING. Your pedophilia and child sexualization aint wanted, aint ok, and I will fight you.

PSS: IF YOU HATE WHAT IVE SAID ABOUT SUGAR AND SALT FINE OK I RESPECT YOU REGARDLESS. ENJOY THE SHOW, STAY CLASSY, DONT HURT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION.

[creacherkeeper]

im getting a little too in my family feels today and so INSTEAD of feeling those im just going to ramble for a second about why i fucking love paladin!aelwyn because. im. just like this i guess im coping leave me alone

cw for discussions of child abuse, maladaptive coping, drugs and alcohol, self harm, destructive tendencies, basically everything we see in canon and the implications

aelwyn is ... SO interesting to me because for as much of her interiority as we see, as much of her as we think we understand, as much as i could ramble about her character for hours, we know ALMOST NOTHING about her in actuality?? (besides ... one key thing)

(this is like 2k and probably incoherent someone please stop me)

okay. listen. almost everything we see aelwyn do in s1 is maladaptive rebellion against her parents and home life. the drinking, the drugs, the partying, perhaps some of kalvaxus (though i dont think we fully understand how much of that was forced on her as well, kalina WAS watching her when she was talking to adaine about it). you can say like, oh aelwyn is a party animal, she's impulsive, she makes risky decisions, she's bitchy and rude, and its like. okay but IS SHE ACTUALLY. because under her parents thumb she had an EXTREMELY limited amount of freedom, and usually when people are suffering from very little control over their life, they WILL act destructively over the tiny bit they can, either harming themselves or their environment or people lower than them in the pecking order, because in a way, that feels like a reclamation of autonomy. saying "you have so much power over me but can you stop me from hurting myself and destroying what you havent managed to claim yet?". its just like, kind of what human brains do and frequently has little to do with a persons actual personality or impulses, its just. desperate brains trying to control SOMETHING because autonomy is a fundamental human need and when thats taken away we get. very bad off. (this is one big reason eating disorders are SO common with abused kids.) so i think a lot of the s1 aelwyn we see is like. this is a very desperate, abused teenager "acting out" in the only way it is possibly somewhat safe for her to do so because, on a psychological level, the self destruction is weirdly the only emotional tether and its either this or just dissociate all the time (something we do see she has problems with in canon)

and yes, she did treat adaine horribly in s1. she fully did. obviously what we get in canon is what happens but a moment thats interesting to me is in episode 1 where adaine has attacked aelwyn several times, who either does nothing or just bounces it back, when she says "i never cast spells at you" and siobhan immediately retcons it and says "yes you do, all the time" (i havent gone back and watched this bit so i might be wording this wrong). obviously its an improv show and the canon is built between performers as they go, but that was interesting to me. that brennan hadnt intended for her to have fought back in that way. she definitely feeds into the emotional abuse from their parents and participates in all the toxicity there, but we know in canon that she did that because of overwhelming fear and self preservation. and that her self hatred because of it just fed back into the cycle and made her feel like she wasnt good enough to even try to break free from it. this is very common in golden child/scapegoat sibling relationships where the golden child SEES what the parents are capable of and becomes a participant in the abuse out of fear for their own standing. in any way siding with the scapegoat child not only directs abuse at themselves as well, but frequently makes things WORSE for the scapegoat because the parents will take out the challenge to their power on them even more. so, if aelwyn DID ever try to defend or help adaine when they were small, she would have VERY QUICKLY learned that made things worse for everyone. and just. sectioned that part of her brain off, as she's done with so many other things. (and i dont think im reading too much into the forest scene with the abernants to say their parents were VERY QUICK to turn abuse towards aelwyn if she stepped out of line even a little. like, you dont flinch when a hand moves unless. you know. dont need to say it just something to think about. as far as we saw in canon, she had done everything they asked of her leading up to the forest, and we DONT KNOW what happened in it but we do know brennan specifically called out how in broken spirits she was when adaine was summoned, even though they did the ritual to avoid all of the nightmare bullshit)

(the house party is literally a whole separate post but i think its fair to point out that 1) she was super under the influence when that was happening which DEFINITELY is in no way an excuse for her behavior but worth remembering when trying to analyze that 2) her losing that fight did canonically have DRASTIC consequences for her and even if she didnt know exactly how that was going to turn out, i think she knew how bad it might be. and she did not know adaine or any of the bad kids were going to be there in the first place)

all that said, it feels in some ways counterproductive to say that aelwyn is an extremely devoted and protective person (yes we're getting to the paladin shit i know i've been rambling a while) but i think that thats strangely ALL WE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT HER. because we've established that her self-destructive and abusive behavior in s1 is almost entirely psychologically scripted for her by her parents, we dont know how much of her villain shit in s1 was LITERALLY UNDER THREAT OF DEATH because we know at least killing the oracle was and we dont know how much of the rest of it was mandated by either her parents or kalina other than that she probably was under orders not to tell adaine the truth, and we know participating in all of this caused extreme self loathing in her that she refused to show to anybody and was too terrified to act on in any way

so, like. what does that actually leave us?

here's what we do know about aelwyn:

- of all the schools of magic, she went into abjuration

- the entire bbeg plan from season 1 hinged on aelwyn's complete faith that her level 1 sister was the most prodigious diviner in the world

- right after (?) the house party, she locked her memories where only adaine could find it with a note basically saying "theres so much bad blood between us but i know only you could find this"

- she desperately wanted to protect adaine and the fact that she was too afraid to do so made her hate herself (and her knowing that adaine now knows this is the turning point in their relationship)

- despite everything, even in the nmk forest, she still loved her parents

- the SECOND she is shown genuine love and affection and care from adaine, and adaine says whatever you do, i am here with you, all her actions from there forward are just about protecting adaine from their father, very nearly at the cost of her own life

- with what she probably thought were her last words (and would have been if adaine hadnt given her the tincture), all she wanted to communicate was how to help adaine and the bad kids, and how despite everything she had always believed in her

- at five levels of exhaustion, unconscious, she used her first spell slot after nine months of torture to build a shield around adaine

NOW we get to paladin!aelwyn. because, once everything is stripped away, the abuse and the control and the maladaption and the threats and the torture, EVERYTHING we ACTUALLY can glean about aelwyn's personality and inner core is that she's protective and devoted. and of course classes arent locked by personality, but that just screams paladin to me. its her WHOLE THING. adaine even says "wizards dont have heals, we dont care about other people" and of COURSE that isnt true for either of them, but? mechanically? aelwyn chose the wizard school that DID let her protect, and DID let her help, but i dont think, at this point, going forward, thats really going to be enough for her (and we could also talk about the parallels between them, how often adaine uses her portents to help other people)

i think a lot of the different reads on aelwyn come from this fundamental disconnect between her actions and displayed personality vs who she actually is and what she actually wants. and i think there are very different interpretations of what thats going to look like for her going forward. but i think, for a girl who's most hated characteristic about herself was her self preservation at the detriment of others, her perceived selfishness, and her fear ... isn't choosing to be braver and more selfless and more protective and shedding that self-preserving instinct for the betterment of others ... and MECHANICALLY being able to act on all those things ... the logical next step? i think its going to be a LONG TIME before aelwyn can love herself, but what other way is there to try? if adaine loves her, and adaine believes she can be better, isnt being better because she trusts adaine kind of a form of self love? saying, i dont believe in myself, but i believe in the person who believes in me, and maybe, in a roundabout way, thats the same thing. she was never able to TRY to be better before, because trying to improve even a little, even when people arent watching, when a harmful force has so much power over you and your actions ... like, the mental dissonance is honestly TOO much to even try, thats WAY more terrifying than letting yourself be bad, to the point where thats psychologically impossible for a lot of people. but now she actually has space and freedom and CHOICE and she CAN embrace the instincts she always had to shove down, she CAN be the person she knows her sister needed her to be

i dont know, i think theres an inherent love letter to yourself in wanting to be better and wanting to improve, even if you justify it by saying its for someone else. and now aelwyn actually CAN improve, and thats probably going to be extremely awkward and scary and there will be set backs and backslides for sure. but. i dont know. i think she wants to make up for lost time. because she never wanted the time to be lost in the first place. and if a protector is who she always wanted to be, whats stopping her from being that now?

[gayspock]

im just gonna do a big dump like i did with the last trek movies <3 soo first contact liveblog! wrow!

- first of all i havent seen these little guys in such a long time now! so im going to sayy hiyaaa to them all when they appear!

- i also dont kno ANYTHIN abt this movie going in. wrt, like, trek movies- shit i dont know much at all abt the tng ones... ive heard a few bad rumblings, but i cant remember anything specific? well. except for the fact. i knwo data has an emotion chip put him in at some point somewhere. 🤷 which makes me fume.... & i know kirk eats shit in generations. however thats abt it. i think ive not heard anything specifically BAD abt fc though, so :33

- i will say one thing i do worry mysself with the tng films, and i guess why i havent been inclined to watch them... mm. sigh. i mean this isnt such a hot take on tumblr dot com, no sir, but i dont really care THAT much for picard. fr fr - i dont, despite all the jokes, but it isnt THT serious like... i think he has the blueprint for someone i could actually be obsessed with, as a character, but im simply not fond of how he is used narratively. in tng i always took issue with that: how stories meant for other characters, kind of wrapped up as the captain picard show a lot of the time, especially when others were really robbed of so much depth; and similarly, times where i just was not fond of the way he was framed. i think its deffo more of a personal inclination, absolutely, but mmm...

- and see obviously tos does centre kirk in that way but im not so... mad about that? because it is, like, a scaled down cast: kirk, bones and spock are the main characters and it doesnt pretend any differently you know? i think my problem is when its like... an ensemble show. and moreover i think i also just dont care so much for a character, with picards personality, being at the helm of a show either. i think i'd be obsessed with him if he wasn't- but mm.... i dont know. i dont know.

- and i think the thing i am concerned abt is how the tng movies will kinda focus on him entirely and like. that IS my assumption but i guess it just hasnt made me so motivated to watch them - among other reasons why i havent finished the tos movies, alongside. and i think that its deffo like- THIS IS .... you know again. deffo more of a personal tastes thing. though there's faults there, they're definitely starker for me given my proclivities but overall i dont think its like. tng is like a terribly done show wrt the way it handles picard or that the movies would be if they centred him. its just not sth im gonna care abt i guess so why force it?

- and its like- when i say centre him... again its like i dont know. idk if thats the best way to articulate it. and furthermore, i guess- i guess my perspective of tng is also a little inherently warped overall bc i didnt enjoy it as much as many do . i know this to be the case <3 but mmhm... teehee.

- okay actually starting the film now

- OMGGG WOW<3 THE MATRIX LOOKING SILLYYYYYYY 😁

- also dear lord. i got the same shock when watching the tos movies initially- but the budget, or at least.... the money put into, like, the way its shot always kinda rattles me a little. like omg we're getting some funny little angles and special effects arent we. oh teeehee. oh youuu guyyssss must be having so much fun!!! <3

- WHAT THE DICKENS

- BEVS... YOUR HAIR. NAURRR!!! TROI! YOUR HAIR! NAUURRRRRR SAY IT ISNT SO!

- im going to throw up. why is him fucking blasting opera music with his eyes shut as the glasses shake so funny. bald man anxiety.

- sniff sniff. also i dont like this enterprise design. i feel like shes just a little dark.... a little grungy. and dont get it twisted oh im a grunge girl im always a fan. but goodness me. isnt it a little sniff sniff SAD?

- data said hell? data? sniff sniff...

-THAT IS NOT ADAM SCOTT IS IT YOU ARE LYING TO ME

- HE SCARED ME SO!!! HIS STUPID LITTLE VOICE SCARED ME SO TERRIBLY LIKE GOOD FUCKING HEAVENS.

- also that other bloke looked weirdly like chris pine. the hell.

- ANYWAYS CRAZY FOR ADAM SCOTT . HE KNOWS HOW TO PLAY A MAN HAVING A FUCKING ANXIETY ATTACK. THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HIS VOICE THAT SOUNDS LIKE HES IN A CRISIS. LIKE INHERENTLY.

- OH THEIR UNIFORMS OH-

LOH WORF I LOVE YOUR LITTLE ONESIE, SO HELP. I KNOW THEYRE ALL WEARING THEM BUT THERES SOMETHING ABOUT IT ON HIM THATS GIVING MOM ITS MY TURN ON XBOX

- MAYBE ITS BC HES A BIG STRAPPIN LAD SO ITS JUST.... TUGGING CERTAINLY. IM NOT SURE. THE WAIST LOOKS REALLY HIGH UP ON HIS AND ITS FITTING WEIRDLY IT LOOKS TODDLERSQUE FOR REALS

- im crazy for riker and worf. because its like riker is just a bloke isnt he just. we love riker hes our big funny bloke. but in the vicinity of worf he has this sleeper agent "im justt a little guyyyy you wouldnt hit a little guy 😁" mode that activates sometimes. but only then and never anytime else bc it would never ever work otherwise bc its soooo not a good fit on him. unless worf is there acting as his little guy lubricant so it DOES fit right and proper

- i love bullshit time mechanics.

- can i say the soundtrack guy is having the time of their fucking life. like do do do do do. like literally no so true girlie pop.

- OH SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT PICARD. THAT MAN KNOWS HOW TO WEAR A FUCKING COAT! DASHING TODAY, SIR. I CAN BARELY VCONTAIN THE URGE TO SLAP YOUR HEAD.

- THAT PRETTY LADY SAID A BAD FUCKING WORD?

- e

- e

- e

- e

- e

- e

- e everyone remember 19 minutes in where data does the funny fucking jumo that just sent me insane ofr soem reason

- i have to clip it when im dome watching

- data babygirl i cant tell how i feel about this outfit its like really like it does serve cunt but im not sure about it for you and furthermore i cant see a gilet without those tory memes coming to mind. sorry....

- "please, no lectures about the prime directive" with all due respect data just fucking fell from the ceiling in a lego figure pose and snapped to the ground and just stalked at her despite an onslaught of bullets AND you were all talking quite loudly about the fucking enterprise without checking shit... girlies we cant pretend we cant i love it i love silly trek logic but oh please!

- Is it me or is geordi fucking built right now

- tHE LOOK DATA IS GIVING HIM....-

- i think data should be allowed to just call him a fucking freak if he wants to. you know picard barely holds back when saying shit to him. i think data should just say something completely loathsome and when picard is like p. pardon he should be like you heard me you bald little twat.

-HELP troi is so funny. i hope they let her be her funny self.

-"captain. we might have to consider the fact he was killed in the attack." WHY DID SHE SOUND LIKE A MOTHER GENTLY TELLING HER CHILD THAT THEY CANT GO TO MCDONALDS. AND WHY DID PICARD RESIGN LIKE A KID WHO JUST REALISED THEYRE NOT GOING TO FUCKING MCDONALDS. GIRLS...

- yes YES YES ITS THE DOCTOR HIIIII HHIII. i missyou on voyager. sorry i havent been watching voyager i just kept getting vaguely frustrated with it. do you understand? kiss on the lips if you understand?

- THE SHEER AMOUNT OF SWAG ZEFRAM POSSESSES. YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS IS THE SAME BLOKE FROM TOS?

- YOU KNOW HOW, LIKE... sooo often shows will write prequels for characters and the such and they'll just butcher them entirely. how did this get it backwards. you made him fuck righteously whereas his later self is what one may call a fucking menace.

- OH SO DATADOES HAVE THE EMOTION CHIP? HUH. <- guy who did not watch generations

- again i dont care it makes me mad i already rambled abt why i dont like it but fucking whatever grrrr.

- so when they assimilate you into the borg do they not assimilate your ass with it

- sorry that was mean but if you cannot see from this blurry screenshot the borg costumes really fucking squashed their tushes right in like help...

- BESITE DATA DID YOU JUST SNAP THAT BLOKES NECK?

- BESTIE DATA LOBOTOMY TIME...

- ALSo geordi without his visor is odd getting used to it BUT i will say his facial structure is really nice. not tht it wasnt before but obvs the visor hid his cheekbones a little bit there

- im actually insane for zeffy's bejazzled backwards cap. im actually dripping with lust for it. no wonder solkar was so quick to gape fo rhim.

- WOWWWW THEY SAID THE NAME OF THE SHOW

- lily is also sooo pretty.... sorry to stop it at all to say that but she is like hell.

- also im not sure how i feel about there being a "borg queen". i think i found it more interesting when there borg were leaderless and just sort of...spread. i mean thats the vibe i always got. that all being said she's uhm. hehehehe. well uhm she is. (twirls hair)

- actually put a pin in that i do have an oc that i did wanna repurpose for FOREVER into a trek borg oc of some descriptor ...maybe one day girlies

- WHY IS THIS...

- MA'AM WOULD YOU PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM MY BESTIE.

- I DONT WANT TO SEE DATA CREAM HIS FUCKING JUMPSUIT?

- every time they try to give picard a swaggy moment it just flops for me. theres just something so utterly swagless about him. and you see theres the thing yes. i mean many different things when i say swaggless. sometimes its a pathetic little man all alone and wet and he's mine. sometimes thst means cradling him sometimes that means affectionately poking him with sticks. sometimes it means zefram from tos as opposed to the zeffo ofthis movie. but with picard its like you just dont have swag/. yuou will never have swag. its fine. you can be a little swagless man. but trying to have swag it just does not work.... so dont trye girlie. just be bald and look pretty.

- the NOODLE processor? :3 hahaha i have one of those its called my TUMMY. lol. jk i know you said neural, picard, but i like to be silly. dont you like to be silly?

- WHY THE FUCK IS BARCLAY HERE?

- lily just looking up, horrified, at worf, and him being like "I am a klingon🧍‍♂" whys that so funny to m

-YESe YES

- YES YES YES THESE BIG SILLY SUITS ARE EXACGTTTLLYYY WHAT IM LOOKING FOR OH TEEEHEEEE. ALSO STOP IT PICARD DONT MAKE WORF GO INTO ZERO GRAV DIDNT YOU HEAR HE WILL GET A POORLY FUCKING TUMMY

- ALSO data just going mental is my favourite but i will say sigh again i hate emotion chip data thats not my little fucking guy...

-...

- ....

- .......

- . theu are not bsout to make data shag....

- TW ON MOVIES FOR DATA HABING SEX PLEASE

- DOCTOR SOONG INITIALLY FOR YOUR BAD FATHERING TECHNIQUES I SENTENCE YOU TO 5 YEARS IN JAIL. HOWEVER FOR GIVING HIM A FUNCTIONING COCK AND BALLS I COMMEND YOUR BRAVERY BUT I WILL SENTENCE YOU TO BE SHOT IN THE HEAD.

- also i again say: i dont know how if eel about the borg queen. i get it for, like, the purposes of a movie? it makes sense to have her as a character. but again conceptually i dont know... i find it boring. i think it removes some of the inherent intrigue of the borg itself.

- and even WEORSE WHEN YOU HAVE HER HORNY FOR MY DEAR DATA MY GOODNESS FUCKING ME HELP

- EVEN IF IM A LITTLE HORNY FOR HER MYSELF LIKE LISTEN

- IM A LITTLE GUY

- AND DATA IS A LITTLE GUY SO SURE SO TRUE BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN LADIES!

-literally lily get his ass get his ass GET HIS ASS

- my maths lecturer once parodied his little speech he makes to lily there if anyones wondering

- "actually i never read it" CAN WE LITERALLY KEEP LILY CAN SHE BE PART OF THE CREW NOW. OBSESSED WITH HER.

- the way i sobbed so bad in st iii when they blew up the enteprise but with this enterprise im like LOLLLLLL

- "DATA?" RESPECTFULLY DID YOU ONLY JUST REMEMBER HIM NOW, JEAN LUC?

- HES BEEN GETTING SLOPPY

- ZEFRAM BLASTING HIS TUNES I LOVE HIM SO BAD

- okay thank god hes staying behind for data but nonetheless this is so funny like oh god yes data is ina pretty tricky situation but i think he did get ridden robo style

- HELP I DOTNKNOW WHY BUT ITS SO SCARY TO THINK OF HIM AS BEING YOLKED

- LIKE OMG NO... PUT THEM FUCKING GUNS AWAY! FREAK!

- ALSO SORRY BUT THIS ENTIRE SCENE IS SO FUNNY WITH THEM ALL JUST TUGGING EAH OTHER DOWN LIKE HELP . WHY IS THAT LIKE. TICKLING ME SO . IM OBSESSED IM INSANE LIKE ITS THE BIG CLIMAX AND ITS LIKE JUST PULLING ON YA DAMN TROUSERS

- THE FACT HES KIND OF JUST HOLDING HER WRIGGLING TECHNO SKULL AND JUST SNAPPED HER SPINE OUT IS KINDA FUCKED YEAH. I MEAN SHE WAS A BIT EVIL WERENT SHE. BUT THAT WAS LIKE MY GOODNESS FUCKING GRACIOUS.

- data got that cursed dick by the way all the girlies to take it for a spin its like.... look where they fucking end up . my goodness fucking me! what are you....

- OMG HIIII ZEFFY HERE;S YOUR BOYYYFRIENDD LOL

- do you guys ever think... my goodness how old is zefram supposed to be again. hes not gen z is he. good fucking lord hes younger.

- HIII SOLKAR OH MY GODDDD LITERALLY STUNTING ON THEM WHAT DID I SAY HE REALLY DRESSED TO IMPRESS

- (zefram and solkar shaking hands) and picard is like "i think its time we made a discrete exit" . alright? fucking homophobe?

- CAN WE NT GET HIM A FUCKING HAT OR SOMETHING. WHAT IF HIS FUCKING WIRING GETS A BIT CHILLY....

- OKAY WHEW thats ending. i enjoyed it. its nice. :3 i liked the tos films more bc of my bias but it was cute.

- though again. sigh. i rlly wish the others guys would get a focus for once. i think thts again one of my things yknow. like goodnessss meeeee.... can i not hear from my little guys? sniff sniff. and- i'd talk more of it but its SO late now you must understand. wwellit is not but i have a train to catch in like 6 hours and im not ready LOL

[ectonurites]

the core four for the ask game about headcanon types! ? no matter what i believe in Ur opinions

HFSDG im glad u have so much confidence in me... thats very flattering. im doing them as a group here esp bc i already did tim on his own (but if u/anyone wants me to take a stab at them individually i can also do that just send another ask fsgfdh)

A (realistic headcanon): 

alright so this kinda sits on the edge of hilarious and realistic but i have something different in mind for that one so: there is LITERALLY NO WAY they don’t have a group chat. they are Teens in a modern setting, like especially now that everyone’s back in continuity and reunited and everything. they HAVE a group chat. and god i can only imagine the chaos. bart can type so fast, so if he had an idea he was trying to communicate he would just be crazily spamming the chat. tim sending really weird cryptid-spotted style photos taken around gotham while on patrol. cassie going OFF on rants (also cassie like lowkey canonically likes kpop she makes Diana go to a kpop concert with her in WW:Agent of Peace #13 sfdhgf... cassie on kpop stan twitter and talking about the drama) and the rest just emoji reacting bc they support her but don’t always know what she’s talking about. kon just sending videos of the all farm animals and giving updates on things Ma bakes. i am open to suggestions on what their group chat’s name would be

B (hilarious): 

SO. you may have seen a lot of art i’ve made of the core four/yj in general that were based on memes. i have a whole planned fic i am GOING to write someday that essentially connects & gives context to the situations around creating those memes and pretty much is just a social media au crack thing but treated kinda seriously and is set relatively canon compliant at the start. basic premise being young justice makes an instagram account just for general PR stuff once they have reunited and it goes off the shits. but yes so the headcanon here would be: wanting to explore the inherent chaos of making an instagram account for your teen superhero team and all the possible ways it could go both so right and so wrong

C (heart-crushing): 

ok so i kinda talked about tim’s side of this a little bit already in my last post like this, but in general this is less of a headcanon but more just... i think when you actually think about the stuff these four went through that pulled them apart and how they managed to come back together only to get then pulled apart again by the reboot and now having reunited in yj 2019, (JUST FOR KON TO BE GETTING SEPERATED A G A I N but im ignoring that part for this rn) and how that would impact each of them, theres just a lot of angst there.

mostly gonna focus on the current current here but god Bart and Kon both coming into this new world that they don’t know how many people actually remember them, with Tim and Cassie managing to be there and having some memories and being some of the few people who can be a familiar comfort... except it’s not all there. i talk about it a lot but that one scene in yj 2019 where Tim isn’t sure if his memories of him, kon, and bart’s sleepovers in mount justice are real or just a dream... that hurts! there’s likely a lot of stuff like that in the time before death metal when the only force giving back memories for him is some brain magic from Zatanna. the four of them managing to come back to each other despite all the odds but having pieces of it just not quite the same because of how the world was tampered with... that hurts me so bad and i wish we could have gotten that explored more 

D (canon is a coward and won’t):

im sorry that for pretty much all of my ‘canon wont do it’ hcs are just about actually making the characters lgbt but its the truth. nobody in young justice is cishet. i think i’ve mentioned before that im pretty loose on specific gender and sexuality hcs for a lot of comic characters (because it just... the way characters are written isn’t always consistent bc Comics Be Like That so my hcs can kinda change based on different things/eras of characters) but yeah. feeling particularly strong lesbian cassie vibes today tho i will say that

also again another thing that unfortunately canon won’t fucking give us right now is just the four of them staying in one group... why the hell are they making Kon go on the suicide squad in upcoming stuff im dying 

[kristalpepsi]

Temptation Stairway Thoughts™ + Theory Discussion

TW: blood + Death mentions, Implied (forced/pushed) integration (systems), racism (against asians), unreality stuff bc the show is Like That, Trauma causd by therapy

TL;DR = I mainly talk about implied integration, n as some1 in a system tht! mkes me uncomfy! I mainly will talk abt wht I’m calling the multi-ena theory (n anothr theory ill call the Multiple/Multi-Enaverse Theory) thts been popping up n disccng how thts kind of the bggst thng keepng me on board! I won’t LIE I might b a little biased bc I rlly do like thise show b I am NOT blind so I will try 2 address som things. I also talk alot abt the Shepard n Phindol bc I love themb so much they make me very heart Big.

DISCLAIMERS:

Obviously Joel G Highkey/definitely/most probbly did not intend 4 any of thise, but media is very complic8d so u cn end up accidntlly making problmtc things or implyng not great things

I hav a typing quirkkkk so if u cant understand my post I rlly dont blame u! I’m sorry how I type is Incomprehensible™

Not an angry post, more like my brain is holding me host-ge until i talk abt everyth dskfjhd!!

DO NOT Send anyone in thise post hate or angry asks/messages or perish by my sword

OK so this recnt episde has me w vry vry mixd feelngs!!! I’m both happy n exctd! b litrlly 2 things is whts bothrng me. While I CLD jst say :I Am Lookng Away: i rlly do need 2 write it down. Under a Read-more bc im secure SKSJ

Part 0: I’m uncomfortable help

The Section wher i tlk abt n bring up othr ppl’s concerns

So fr most if nt all the frnds I hav who also wtch Ena ALSO has a vry “vr vry mixd feelngs now tht I’ve seen the episde!!” mood twrds Temptation Stairway! It’s 4 a bunch of rsns, like thise post (tw racism) mde by a frnd whch brings up a good point

Part 1: The Actual Intro

Episode 1 = Auction day (AD) Episode 2 = Extinction Party (EP) Episode 3 = Tempation Stairway (TS)

Who is Ena

Ena can b describd as an "abstract girl split in half, w 1 blue side n the other is her yellow side!" Each side (emotion/mood, 2 b specific) seems 2 hav their own voic actor credited along with seper8 credits 4 each mood! So far the canon sides r Ena (happy), Ena (sad), n Ena (drunk)! They seem 2 act accordingly: Happy acts happy n optimistc, Sad acts sad n especlly depressd, n Drunk acts confused n dizzy [In the Credits, it would look like thise: Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman, (drunk) Ena by Sam Meza

4 Episodes 1-2, thy follow thise pattern exctly! So we cn expect wht 2 see from them, n each voice actor is creditd accordngly as seper8 b all a part of Ena

On epside 3, Ena is seen as actng diffrnt!! She's suddnly less predictabl! I say thise bc Suddenly, her voic Actors r not stuck 2 Only their sides. Thise is also emphasized when looking at the credit list! No longer is it "Ena (happy) by Gabe V., Ena (sad) by Lizzie Freeman" it's now jst "ENA by Gabe V. and Lizzie Freeman"

Happy's voic can sound STRESSED n sad, Happy can tlk w Blue's side in mor control n Sad's voic can sound Really happy n optimistic. Somth's Diffrnt n Not The Same

Temptation Stairway Summary

Skipping 2 my point, The summary of the episode Temptation stairway is tht Moony and Ena have a bet 2 race 2 the Great Runas! The Great Runas, can grnt u any wish accordng 2 Moony n som of those Ena passes by on the wy. The wager, is tht "whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser" (yes it’s phrased like that) As Ena journeys thru, The DIFFERENCES between Ena Temptation Stairway and Ena Extinction Party n Below, is mor obvious as the epsde progrsses, even 2 wher Happy's voic actor is the 1 screamng in agony 2 jst get murdered already. The Episode ends w Moony beatng Ena (but it's 100% possibl it can be the other way arnd, that ENA Beat Moony, b thats somth I'll discuss in a bit L8r). Moony splits in half, revealing that according 2 her, "she wished 2 be skinny" n a humanoid coms out of her previous form. As 4 Ena, Her blue side slowly dispprs n its not answrd why.

Theories so far, are:

Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy (or 4 her sad/blu side 2 go awy. 4 wht reason can b eithr wholsom or 2 Moony's advntge [like so she "doesnt have 2 deal w Sad Ena"]) - b if Moony wished 4 Ena 2 b happy/b rid of her sad side, tht wld mean perhaps she lied about wishing 2 be skinny (her new humanoid form may be how she is "paying her debt 2 the loser"). Unless the Runas can grant u more than 1 wish.

Ena ws the 1 who wished her blu side awy, whch is a little depressng tbh

If both the above r tru, it may b possibl bc it wsnt clarified (afaik) tht the great runas can only grant ONE person a wish (or more). I think we only get tht implica8ion bc we see 1 (open) door while in the distance, ther r more doors tht look like their eyes r closed. We hav 2 remembr Moony said "whoever makes their wish 1st whch means Ena n Moony can totlly mke wishes @ the sme time

Somhow, turning pure yellow/only happy is how Moony is payng her debt 2 Ena(??) (opposite 2 the 1st theory)

OR If Ena won the race, it can even b possibl 2 consider tht Ena did not make ANY wish, n her debt 2 pay 2 Moony is her sad/blue side removed (I do not subscribe 2 thise) 

This info that was brought up 2 me is high evidenc that Moony won the race, n it explains how Moony surprises Ena whn Ena arrives. “I’m The Best and you’re the worst! I wonder who got the hair chest?” said by Ena, is a direct reference 2 a phrase usd by kids when they lose that goes “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest.”

“Whoever reaches the top of the Great Runas n makes their wish 1st, has 2 pay the debts of the loser.“ Might be phrased tht way as a weird way 2 pay 4 ur greed? (Last minute addition from me since some people wld think this is quoted wrong in and outside of the youtube comments)

i'm p sure ther may even b mor theories b i dont rmmbr them OOPS

Part 2: The Implied Integration Part AKA: How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode

TW: Final fusion discussion, medical trauma (Is that the right word)

Disclaimer: This is 100% unintended by Joel G. That’s y the Alternative title 2 thise part is “How the System!Ena theory is affected by this episode”

2 GET IN2 the whole Implied Integr8ion part of my Essay™ I hav a theory calld system ena or sys!ena! (Check out my #system ena tag. This is in chronologicl order!) While thers no canon explan8ion 4 how Ena herslf is how she is, she mkes very intrstng n almst good accdntl Sys Represent8ion 2 me! They even show cofronting rlly well! I headcanon Ena as a system bc of the accidentl system!rep, but it explains 2 me y n how she switches! she has triggers 4 when she switchs 2 a diffrnt side, etc!

Ther hav been theories about Temptation Stairway in the past (before the episode cme out) wher ppl try 2 explain y the trailer Looks Like Tht. Besides theorizing abt the introduction of a new forme (I'm ok w just calling it Scared/Anxiety 4 now until 4rthr notic), 1 of the theories ive seen is tht Temptation Stairway's new introduced forme is due 2 being something akin 2 being "integr8d" (probably by force, accordin 2 the OP) (in other words, all her sides merge in2 one) n Ena being devast8td abt it

While tht theory is now DEBUNKED, bc the new forme clearly did not come out bc of being One Single Mind now, the "integr8ion" part of tht theory is unfortun8ly a littl tru

What is Integr8ion?

Integr8ion is not inherently a bad thing. In systems, ther are 2 definitions: "the breaking down of barriers 2 form healthy multiplicity, n then healthy communic8ion n less amnesiac barriers" and the othr, n mor FAMOUS definition bc its the oldest 1, is "final fusion"

Fnal Fusion is when all the members "fuse/merge" 2gether until ther is 1 single mind left. While not necssrlly a bad thng, final fusion n ther4 "integr8ion" is a scry thing 4 a lot of systems 2 talk abt, because in the history of Treatment, Final fusion is uslly somthng forcd on2 systems 4 the longest time :^(

Very valid 2 hav final fusion as a goal, b showng it as a desire n end goal is uslly seen as a sad n even scry thing 2 promote accdntly or not in media, bc of the previous traumas in the medicl/therapy world of system treatment etc

What's Worse. is tht if we apply the Ending 2 Temptation Stairway to the System!Ena Theory, thts wht hurts!!!

Scrolling back up 2 the possibl theories of who won the race and wht happened aftr, Either Moony or Ena wishing 4 the blue side/Sad Ena 2 go awy is rlly painful!

B I'll be honest, thts a RLLY biased n personal opinion i hav!! I've seen ppl think its rlly wholsom altho a bit Sad, tht the blue side disappears. I've seen ppl think its rlly sweet esp if it was Moony who mde tht wish

BSCLLY If I were to hold on2 the System!Ena headcanon while watchng the Temptation Stairway episode, its Hurtful, not rlly bc of the implied Integr8ion of Sides, but bc most top theories r that the blue side disappeard on Purpose either from Moony or Ena wishing her away or involvng the debt! It's like asking 4 ur sibling irl 2 Disappear and cease 2 exist. it's scary n rlly sad esp whn the audienc can c tht Sad, Happy, n Drunk cn almst b seen as their own persons n mite even b abl 2 interact w each othr (as seen by the many fanart of Happy n Sad having their own seper8 forms)

  Ok so Now tht ive described my intro n Main Beef w the Episode, here's a theory I cn rlly get behind tht dsnt mke me wnna cry behind a Denny's. Prsnlly it's a rlly relievng theory even if it mite b hard 2 take in

Ther's no name 4 it, som call it the Enaverse, b just so it dsnt get confusd w other definitions (like, u wldnt call it the Marvel Cinematic Universe theory, the MCU is jst wht it is) I'm gnna call it the Multi-Ena theory! Bsclly, there's mor than 1 Ena in thise universe. But I'll get in2 a sub/partner theory tht is also possibl: ther is mor than 1 enaverse n somhow u may or may not b abl 2 travel between them

Part 3: The Multi-Ena theory

Something interesting I noticed was that the shepherds says “another ENA troublemaker?” Which definitely means more than one ENA/person has been there before.

(I blockd out the rest of the commnt not bc it ws bad, b i wantd 2 focus on this part of the commnt, but thise commnt will come up again L8r)

Not connected 2 System!Ena or the integr8ion issue I mentioned earlier, the multi-ena theory seems 2 b 1 of the top suggstd theories bc of many thngs! Bsclly n in short, thise theory believs tht in the series (or Enaverse), ther is multipl ena's! So fr i havent seen a post tht RLLY went in2 depth on thise so here is my attempt!

Evidence:

(See: above explanation on how the voic actors r credited 4 their roles individlly 2 explain my system!ena theory/intro) In episodes 1-2, Ena's diffrnt emotions/sides r creditd individually! In Temptation Stairway, Gabe n Lizzie Freeman r all creditd undr the sme nme, just as "Ena" (mening thise is a completely different Ena from the past)

Again, as said in my summry 4 Tempt8ion Stairway, thise Ena acts compltly diffrnt n is not follwng the sme "pattern" or rules as Ena did in Episodes 1-2! (Read above in my summary section) Either ther r stuff we've missd between Extinction Party n Temptation Stairway, or thise is a diffrnt Ena entirely.  I'd hav 2 sy prsnlly tht I'm leanng 2wrds the latter bc of how the VA's are crdtd. but if ur not convinced, let me continu:

When we meet the Shepard in 7:52 of the episode, they say (verbatim) "Arghh... Another ENA trouble maker." which implies there r more than 1 Ena's

9:08 - 9:19 when Ena jumps in2 the "Holy Code" where we head undrwtr in2 a sea of diffrnt doors, we see floating Ena models (n the comment section seems 2 gravit8 2 callng them "dead bodies") (Honorary mention: You'll notic they glitch in2 Mannequins if u pay attention 2 them). This piec of info is Direct Evidence 2 the multi-ena theory, bc ther r Explicitly mor thn 1 ena's on screen! wht's concernng n unanswrd tho, is y do they glitch in2 mannequins? Does tht mean all the mannequins we sw on screen in the begnng of the video (n onwards) were all previously an Ena? Is it only an Ena tht can transform in2 a mannequin or cn othr chrctrs also become mannequins?

Not the strongst evidenc b i'll input it anywy: Ena's Action boxes (Like when she receivs or gives items) spell her nme her as ƎNA (with a backwrds E). The thing abt thise 1 is tht we can't compare it with Auction Day n Extinction Part bc they don't have any action boxes. BUT What we CAN compare is how she is spelled in the dialogue boxes of those speakng in diffrnt languages AND in the Credits! In Episodes 1-2, She's Spelled as Ena with this captialis8ion. In Temptation Stairway the dialogue and credits consitntly spell her as ENA in all caps. May or may not allude 2 her being diffrnt, b i will admit this is the most Strechiest piec of evidnc. Tru or not, I'd like 2 refer 2 Tempt8ion Stairway ena as TS!Ena or ƎNA, prsnlly 2 differenti8 her frm the othr episodes

Pronounci8ion: BUT 2 build on the above evidence, In the beginning of the episode, Moony DOES pronounc Ena's name in different wys a lot, startng w I-NA (ai-na), ENA (ehna), n finally JENA. And this isnt new! She’s been doing it sinc Auction Day (ee-nah/ii-na) n Extinction Party (ay-nah). Thise may or my not sggst that perhaps Moony's inconsistancy is bc these othr pronunci8ions or names cld b of other ena's she's met in the past w similr or diffrnt preferences! I’d say because of her constant switchng in the beginning of Temptation Stairway, it would lean 2wards that she may know different Ena’s @ once. Otherwise, c the Multi-Enaverse theory below

Note: Every othr charctr besides Moony (So far; Merci and the Shepard) Pronounces Ena as ehna (or ehna) so it might be that perhaps Eh-na is the universal way of pronouncng Ena?

Conlusions/thghts on this theory: I prsnlly like thise a lot!! It makes Enasonas Very Possible, b also tht any interpret8ion of Ena cn b corrct or possibl! It knda saddens me tho bc im not rlly sure if we'll ever return 2 the Ena we're used 2, I wldnt rlly want 2 b stuck w/o Sad bc I thnk her role is rlly neat n can b importnt, b im biasd. I also rlly subscribe 2 thise theory bc it means whtvr happend 2 TS!Ena ds not hav 2 be permanent in the long run; Again litrlly the only thng keepng me from gettng supr upset abt the ending of Temptation Stairway, is tht the prev ena’s r not the sme n wld possibly not do thise, or tht ther r othr ena’s out ther besides THISE episod 1, who wld nvr do tht, etc

Part 4: The Multiple Enaverses/Multi-Enaverse Theory AKA The Alternative In Defense of Moony Mispronouncing Ena’s name over and over

An alterntve 2 the Multi-Ena theory, is tht there is MORE thn 1 Enaverse! So bsclly, a multiverse theory. Primarily thise my explain Not jst Ena's sudden Shift in how diffrnt she is in thise episode b may also explain how Diffrnt Moony is actng in thise episode 2. While thise isnt the top theory i prsnlly subscribe 2 (sinc ther isnt explicit evidence besides it bein an explan8ion 4 Moony n Ena's weird/diffrnt behavior), it DOES open a lot of doors 2 intrstng things 2 thnk abt!

Bsclly Moony keeps mispronouncing Ena’s name a lot (in Tempation Stairway) n its Really Rude, esp consdrng she’s always said it properly (As in @ least 1nce in an episode n not switchng multiple times) b4! so 2 Explain her Sudden change in behavior, this is actlly a Different Moony, besides a different Ena. this is a whole different universe/timeline!

LIKE If not multiple Ena's, The different Loca8ions in Ena cn probbly b traversible across dimensions! The Holy Code may b the door 2 diffrnt enaverses. The Shepard's garden cld b an interdimensionl place tht is singular n deals w diffrnt beings passing thru! While i dnt hav mch 2 sy on thise, its RLLY Interestng 2 thnk abt

Like the Multi-Ena theory, thise also opens the doors 2 enasonas being vry possibl :^) Som ppl's evidences r all involvng Moony besides how Ena's rlly diffrnt

Moony can skateboard??

Moony's square shape hole can shrink 2 hold an item

while not strong ATM or frm wht i cn see, its still very inch restng!!! Tho I would sy it is VERY on par w the Multi-Ena theory anyway

Part 5: Honorary Mentions: Mini Theories

The Great Runas is actlly a play on the "Run As" Command! I'm not very Smart engh 2 break thise down vry well, b bsclly w all the allusion 2 "codes" n the Blood ID looking like a Chip, The Great Runas being abl 2 grant u wishes makes a lot of sense! This ws brought up 2 me from a friend (@ambercard​)!

like its a command line. so then the great runas being able to grant wishes makes sense if its digital world like all the code stuff says Allows a user to run specific tools and programs with different permissions than the user's current logon provides.

Runas is a command-line tool that is built into Windows Vista. To use runas at the command line, open a command prompt, type runas with the appropriate parameters, and then press ENTER.

In the user interface for Windows Vista, the Run as… command has been changed to Run as administrator. However, you should rarely have to use the Run as administrator command because Windows Vista will automatically prompt you for an administrator password when it is needed.

and my friend who i was talking to said that probably explains what the password was for and the blood id being a login or something?

its possible using the blood id akin to using the run as administrator command since idk their name but one of the people ena met said the blood id didnt seem like her which is like. if she isnt administrator then it would make sense that using that command wouldnt match who she is

My response:

man do u realiz Ena uslly does not hav the corrct passwrd/admin privileges all the tme? Bc the guardian entity in extinction party askd her 4 1 b i guess it ws so Low Game tht it wsnt supr necsrry in the end

The Enaverse is all a computer code of some sort- most probbaly a game! AKA: This is a digital world

... If we were too treat this world as a video game this would make more sense since different play through bus and all that. Oh god this feels like a fnaf situation, taking a video that just wants to be a video and turning it into a big serious thing

Going with the whole ‘there are multiple enas representing the player’ theory, perhaps this ENA realized that she’s in a video game and isn’t taking it too well? But the game is kind of glitching out because of it.

Honorable Mentions: Random Info + Unanswered Questions

Ena seems self-aware of smth! (10:24 Ena screams "YOU'RE ALL LIVING A LIE!") May help the Run as command idea n the video game/digital reality idea! If not a video gme, they sure r Somewhere

What does the Great Runas look like?? is it the door? is ther mor thn 1 Runas?

What is Mariya n Gabo's Job? R they just like the Guardian Entity in Extinction Party but are assignd 2 this part/location of where they are?

In 6:30, wht does Ulysses mean by "Desires r never fulfilled nor quenched"? "You Will fail like the rest of them" Is he referring 2 the other Ena's that's passed by? who else have come n failed?

This Post Also brings up som good points I hvnt noticd yet!

Thise comment pretty much says everythng:

Standout things from this animation:

-This Ena switches between a male & female voice at seemingly random instead Happy speaking with a male voice and Sad speaking with a Sad voice. The text boxes noticeably refer to this Ena with a reversed E, and The Shepard says "Another Ena troublemaker", implying that there are multiple Enas. We also see some Ena corpses flickering into the mannequin bodies at one point. Third, at the end we see Ena's sad half turn from blue to yellow over the course of Ena & Moony's conversation. My personal theory is that this Ena is possibly 'broken' in some manner. -Moony either doesn't care or dosen't realize that Ena's voices aren't matching the personalities anymore. -The grey personality appears to come out when Ena gets too stressed out. Notably the transformation involves the happy half turning into static and exploding out, erasing Ena's face in the process. It also appears that some physical trauma (in this case, Brick Frog kicking Ena) is necessary to exit the grey personality, unlike the previously seen 'blackout' personalities which can possibly be switched by the other personality exerting themselves (in the auction episode, Ena enters her sad blackout/depressed personality, then switches to Happy!Ena, who apologizes to Moony about her depressed outburst). -Moony's hole is capable of closing to hold things, and she also knows how to skateboard. -Judging by Ena's reaction, Moony's transformation at the end is weird even by this universe's standards.

aaaand thats all 4 now! I really hope thats all my brain can think of skjsdhfsdfkh

Feel free 2 send me asks abt Ena theories n stuff! While this is a Comprehensiv post, it’s definitely mor focused on the Multi-Ena theory n my thghts on the episode whn it comes 2 how it affects the System Ena theory. I’m open 2 questions!!

Last Edit: Feb 19 2021 (GMT +8)

[armillary-spheres-lover]

Hey

Idk if you ever got the answer to your thing. But I’m a person who is queer but regularly uses the term lesbian to make things simpler. I can tell you why I hate the phrase monosexual- it feels transphobic to me- I am not attracted to men at all, but I am attracted to women, non-binary folks, gender queer folks, and agender folks. If I was with a partner and they transitioned to be a man I would still love them. That wouldn’t change. Sexuality is fluid and calling someone monosexual seems to erase that and really put people in boxes. Everyone has exceptions. And as someone who has identified as bisexual and pansexual in the past and find those not to suit me and fit right (especially since I am not sexually/romantically attracted to people physically/based on appearances- it’s more about personality and what I could do with a person)

I don’t mean this in an antagonistic way, I really hope it doesn’t come off that way(I’m bad expressing myself sorry).

(I’m sorry, I know you’re not trying to be rude. My answer, however, will sound rude and upset because you touched upon some stuff that needs a lot of unpacking to me lmao. Just know this anger is not necessarily directed at you but at biphobia in general.)

Why do bisexual people may need to use the term monosexual?

A. It is descriptive

I see what you mean but as you said you're queer and lesbian is a term to make things simpler, right?

So I wouldnt call you monosexual because you’re clearly not attracted to only one gender (but if you want to who I am to stop you?). Monosexual is someone who is almost exclusively dating/is attracted to people of one gender. There are plenty trans people that are straight or gay that would NOT date a partner if they realized they were a different gender. For real: kat blaque made a video (here it is if youre interested) on youtube about this - she’s trans and she wants to date men and wouldnt feel comfortable on continuing dating if a partner of hers realized they were actually a trans woman all along. She wants to date guys not girls and that's FINE it just means A. She actually recognizes the girl gender, obviously B. She's straight af and that's wonderful! It’s not a box if that’s how her experience is and she likes it that way!

Also how is being monosexual transphobic? Cant a girl just like guys exclusively (both cis and trans) or like girls exclusively (both cis and trans)? It's not even enbyphobic since you dont need to be attracted to a person to support their rights. (Gay men arent attracted to women but can be 100% feminists.) Being open to fuck somebody is not the same as supporting their rights: fetishization is a thing. Again, I refer to the video Kat Blaque made.

Sexuality IS fluid but to some people (like me and you) it is more than others. Some people don’t feel comfortable dating people that dont fall into the gender theyre usually attracted to and thats 100% okay.

B. It helps in talking about biphobia and panphobia in society

Biphobia and panphobia are for the large part based on the assumption that you cant be attracted to more than one gender (not even non-binary and so on) and that if you do you're weird/disgusting/mentally ill/a sexual predator. I can tell you 100% that's the narrative both straight and gay people can and may perpetuate since I struggle w this kind of shit every single time Im attracted to someone no matter their gender (YES, EVEN IF THEY'RE A GUY, BECAUSE THE OTHER DAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO A GIRL AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL THAT CANT CONTROL ITSELF, even though it makes NO sense because if it was two girls or two boys the actual number of people my hormones activated to wouldnt change, but it would make my experience not subjected to biphobia!). I’m not saying gay people are the same as straight people. But I do feel alienated BOTH from heteronormative society AND from (subtly biphobic) gay spaces because of my bisexuality. I costantly feel like I’m outside both of those worlds and you know how humans are: I just need a term to encompass it all easily, to say “I don’t identify with any of this” (which is both straight and strictly gay spaces: ie, monosexual). To me is literally the same as saying non-bisexual/non-pansexual.

I dont mean to say lesbians or gays have it easier or are just like straight people. But we do have different experiences and I need terms to express that. It honestly doesnt matter to me if you identify as lesbian or queer (though I think you’re implying you’re more queer than anything). But I do need a term to talk about how society at large treats sexuality; ie, as a monosexual thing. Another concept that’s been thrown around is bi erasure. A strictly monosexual society is bound to view a girl dating a girl (or girl presenting) as if theyre both LESBIANS and erase a queer person the moment they’re in a m/f relationship, because people cant COMPUTE that it may not be the case and that the girl dating a cis straight dude isnt betraying her queerness.To think so is basic biphobia.

In some ways, I think it’s the same as when transgender people started using the term cisgender - which is applicable to both straight people and queer/gay people. They simply needed a term which meant “not-trans” as they were saying “I dont identify with this” (ie the cisgender experience). Does it imply that cisgender people, no matter if queer, have something in common? Yeah, yeah it does. Does it imply that queer people are just the same as straight people, or face no oppression? Of course not. Seeing people being offended upon being called monosexual feels like people being offended upon being called cis to me.

Also, saying that the terms bisexual people use are transphobic is almost implying that bisexuality is inherently transphobic? Or reeks to me of that kind of rhetoric. I use the terms I need to use, just like any other marginilized group does, and nobody outside of that group has any right of denying me that. It’s like I’m trying to create a safe space for myself and people like me and yall come around to judge us YET AGAIN. And I'm just tired of hearing this bullshit. I could accept this kind of criticism only if it came from a trans person themselves, I guess? But it’s not usually trans people who accuse us of being transphobic, in fact, many trans people identify as bisexual and use bisexual terminology lmfao.

“Hearts not parts” rhetoric

Finally, about personality being superior to physical appearance. That's amazing but I do want to note that, not you necessarily, but many people who are into the “hearts not parts” rhetoric are, how can I say this. Slut-shaming people? I’m not sure if you are doing this but I feel it needs to be said just to be sure. A lesbian trans woman can be just attracted to a girl for her physical appearance and just want to fuck her - and THAT'S OKAY. That's fine. I am a sexually attracted to people and that doesnt mean I have to form a deep bond first. Sex positivity is about accepting that people can feel like this and not shame them for this. "Hearts not parts” rhetoric has in the past infantilized, sanitized or outright shamed other queer experiences. It's fine if you feel that way but dont start acting like you're morally superior because of that. That's catholicism with extra steps. My bisexuality its not the symptom of some predatory and animalistic thing that should be purified into something more palatable and less sexual. That’s the same thing they used to say about gay people and now gay (biphobic) people are using this against us. That’s also the kind of thing trans women (especially if they’re sapphic) constantly hear every fucking day. Queer people have a good part of their discrimination rooted in the shaming of purely sexual desires. Forcing ourselves to be more palatable and less sexual is just respectability politics. I’m tired of it. (This is obviously different from being on the asexual spectrum: but you dont see ace people going around pretending they’re morally superior than everybody else, and many are actually very sex positive)   You would still love your partner if they were a different gender: that’s great, but that’s not how some (most) people feel, and they aren’t superficial because of this, just different from you.

Also, I think you’d really benefit from hearing a trans person say they don’t care if someone has genitalia preferences. Here it is. This obviously doesnt mean that every trans person will feel like she does, but it does mean that we can’t generalize trans experiences/preferences/what they feel transphobia is. Just like straight people dont get to say what’s homophobic or not, cis people dont get to say what’s transphobic or not. The definition of those terms relies entirely on the community that is targeted by these things.

I hope this wasnt excessively confusing but I wanted to make my point clear.

[pechebeche]

Sorry, I should be clearer. You don't have to post this. I did see the 'callout' but I didn't know them. I thought the Ace Discourse takes were non-issues but then I saw the part about antiblackness and thought, "OK, I see where they got that from". And at the time it looked like someone had informed you but you were ignoring it. If they didn't, and you weren't, that's a different story. I'm sorry you were harassed, I don't agree with that. But you did seem unaware of why it came across so bad.

alright. i am going to outline the two major accusations i think you're talking about - one of which was completely off the wall, and one of which actually was a good critique of my actions, which was then mixed in with all the other accusations.

the first was that i defended a slavery au. that's fucking insane. i never did that. what i DID was not block a user who had created one and later apologized, because the only person who talked with me about it was anonymous. i was not quite as suspicious of anons then as i am now, but friends of mine had been the victim of abusers twisting genuine mistakes and co-opting activist language to isolate and turn people against their victims, so i had a policy of not doing anything based on an anon's word alone, since i couldn't check their credibility. i instead said that i would follow the lead of poc in the community, which i later did by blocking the artist.

in retrospect, it was my whiteness that allowed me to give them the benefit of the doubt that their initial au was a mistake and that they might deserve a second chance. that was not my call to make. it is also, in large part, because i gave literally everyone the benefit of the doubt. i gave genuine responses to an anon who said i was 'playing the sexual trauma card' three times before i realized they wouldn't listen. that doesn't justify it, though, and was a character flaw as a pushover just as much as it was racist. i was wrong for that.

(as a side note, the anon later cited this discussion on twitter as proof i had 'talked over and refused to listen to' a person of color, as if....i just. had some sort of Spidey Sense that tingled when an anon was white. i still pretty firmly believe that a lot of that discussion came from a basic, widespread misunderstanding of what anonymity fully entails, but that's a conversation for another time.)

the other major accusation is one i will freely admit, as i always have, was a fully warranted and credible one in its original form. i had been commissioned to write a kingston/kugrash fic, and there had recently been a rash of discussion that i had never seen beforehand about the ship being disliked. i was uncertain whether it was inherently racist, and thus if i would need to back out of the project and refund the commissioner, or if this was just a personal issue that people had.

without knowing more about what the problem was, it was hard for me to google 'problematic rat curse shipping' with hope of any actual answers, so i asked an open question about what the specific problem was on twitter (which i did, to my little credit, clarify several times throughout the conversation that no one was obligated to respond to or engage with, and that i was certain the fault was mine for ignorance). another user very kindly and patiently explained to me the importance of canon interracial ships that don't involve white people. i asked what i, at the time, thought was a clarification question about the lack of non-het characters of color to ship in interracial relationships, but what in retrospect was very much a defensive attempt to push through the issue with as little change to my actions as possible. they rightfully called me out on being performative; i apologized and promised to look back on the conversation later and reflect on it.

i learned after the fact that the other person involved was a minor, and upon learning it, immediately deleted all of my part in the conversation. i don't regret that. my memory of that time is too fuzzy to know whether what i said would have damned or aided me, but ultimately, that doesn't matter at all in comparison to making sure that user wouldn't face any of the harassment that i later did. they're one of the other people who i really, truly believe was well intentioned, and whose advice i still take very seriously when reflecting on my actions.

the call out post was made the next day. it was possible to frame it as my 'being informed but ignoring it' by utterly distorting the context of the first accusation, and thus being able to use the second, much more credible accusation to prop it up as more legitimate. i am not going to pretend i didn't make mistakes, because i did, and i will continue to. but i wanted to, and was willing, to learn. i think the fact that i still tried to parse genuine criticisms from harassment even as i actively regressed to my lowest points, and am still trying to more than a year later, is evidence of that.

in the end, though, the veracity of the racism accusations wasn't actually the root of the poster's hatred of me. (i actually recall making a post at the time stating that when i talked about people harassing me, i specifically was not talking abt critiques of my racism, and that i was grateful that people were calling me out and forcing me to adjust my perspective. there was a very clear distinction between people trying to educate me and people trying to hurt me.) what they hated about me was that i wrote nsfw fanfic about aged up characters, and that, when told that this made people uncomfortable, promised to make it easily blockable for them, but did not outright remove them, because i felt that as i was writing about adults in a consenting relationship and the pieces were largely a proxy for delayed-by-trauma exploration of my own sexuality, i didn't feel there was anything inherently immoral about them. thats what they hated me for. that's why i was called a pedophile and a bitch and had my chosen name mocked widely. the poster stated outright thats why they hated me. the accusations of racism were, i believe, largely to pad the post out for people who wouldn't hate me for that alone.