#that impact how they interact with others and how they perceive others intents in their interactions

[eldritchmochi]

i keep seeing posts about how the term "boundaries" is constantly misused to inflict rules on other people when boundaries "only relate to rules for yourself" which..... isnt true according to things ive discussed with my therapist? like yeah the overuse of medical terms as get out of jail free buzzwords is bad but also strict black or white rulings of a concept in a tweet or two is also bad, especially since i have not seen a damn one of these come from a credible source, either a mental health professional or like, clinical terminology sources

CONCRETE EXAMPLE where i set a boundary with roommates that required behavior changes on their part that my therapist named specifically as a boundary when i described it:

dishes are the biggest point of contention in basically any living situation with multiple people. my previous roommates were really bad at doing them, in a way that resulted the kitchen being really gross if i hadnt just cleaned it. even after many requests to do basic things of "empty the sink trap of soggy food so it doesn't rot" and "dont hoard dishes long enough to grow an ecosystem" over m o n t h s, i got nowhere with dishes being done regularly in a way that didnt bother me

in the end it was so continuously upsetting that i told them to not do the dishes at all ever whatsoever, i would take care it. mind, i was the only one who worked out of the house while commuting via bus as a chronically ill person with severe fatigue and i was putting in an average of 50 hrs a week every week for werks on end at the time. me deciding to take this on was not done lightly, this was me recognizing that it was better and healthier for all of us for me to take on this one task. it would result in me being much happier in that living situation at no real cost to the other party other than maybe the dishes would stack up a bit if i was particularly exhausted one day, but things would get caught up within the week

this did not go down well despite my best efforts, and i would not be surprised if this black and white portrayal of what boundaries are influenced that. this nonsense went down over like six solid months and every single session i had with my therapist had him absolutely baffled because he couldn't think of a single thing i could have done better

i am not a mh professional i do not know the specific difference between "dont do this thing it upsets me" and "dont do this thing that 'upsets' me because i am controlling you", but the blanket statement of calling something like this a boundary is misusing the term is black and white thinking. i have bpd, ive done some dbt about it and the first thing they teach you is how to spot black and white thinking because it us incredibly mal adaptive and *really fucking dangerous* and this specific trend is going to be taken advantage of by abusers just as much as coopting the use of "boundaries" to justify their behavior

tldr "boundaries are never about other people's behavior" and "you can't do xyz thing because it violates my boundaries" are two sides of the same abusive coin. people who have put in the work in a tangible and meaningful way, who are able to examine their motives and give grace to other people within their boundaries, can recognize that boundaries are a spectrum, like everything with social relationships and mental health in general

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

I think that a lot of people without NPD have a really poor understanding of "narc supply" or the specific type of positive attention that pwNPD crave. Even the egotypicals who are allies, the ones denounce narc abuse and anti-NPD ableism, don't fully grasp it.

There's this false idea that NPDs like to be worshipped and showered with compliments all of the time, and I mean, yeah, most of us would eat that shit up, but I know that for myself and a lot of other pwNPD it's deeper and much more, I guess, personal?

I don't really know how to describe it, so I'll give an example: As a kid, no one really paid attention to my creative endeavors, my accomplishments, my feelings, etc. And if they DID pay attention, the attention was negative. I could always do better, I could always be smarter, stronger, etc. This came from peers and adults alike. So I developed a coping mechanism where I would tell myself that everyone else was wrong, that I'm actually the best person around, etc. I don't have to explain what disorder I ended up with as an adult as a result of all of that. :P

But anyway - the wound of constantly being ignored at best and insulted at worst is still there. You know how when you're in a group chat or a conversation with multiple people and no one ever pays attention to your comments, while paying attention to everyone else? Yeah, that shit hurts EVERYONE, but especially pwNPD. Even the smallest acknowledgment can be "narc supply."

You know how when you achieve something really cool and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you will be quick to praise OTHER people?

You know how when you post art/edits online and everyone ignores you - but the people who ignore you compliment someone else's post in the exact same thread?

You know how when you ask your friend to read your favorite book or listen to your favorite artist or whatever because of how much it means to you, and they never do it, but then they read/listen to everyone else's favorite thing at everyone else's recommendation, and how much it pisses you off? (Hurts even more if you have the SAME favorite book/artist and someone reads/listens to it at the other person's recommendation and not at yours.)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I could go on and on. That shit would bother anyone, us narcissists aren't alone in being hurt by that, but my G-d, it impacts pwNPD in such a specific way.

But let me flip it around to the positive!

A narcissist doesn't necessarily get their "supply" from someone telling them that they're the coolest person in the world and that they're a god. (Though if you do want to say that to us we probably won't complain!) Sometimes they get their "supply" from something as simple as someone acknowledging their achievements, and giving specific praise on what the achievement was. ("It's so cool that you won a prize in the music recital. The song you played sounds like it was really difficult and I loved your stage presence.")

Being told, "Wow, you did such a great job on your artwork, I love the colors!" goes a very very long way for a narc, especially when said narc is used to being IGNORED for their art.

Hearing, "it's so cool that you like that book, I'll have to read it and tell you my thoughts!" can help a narcissist's interests feel acknowledged.

You might be reading this and thinking, "well, isn't it just basic human interaction to compliment your friends or try out their interests"? And, well, maybe it is, but the whole point of NPD is that most of us grew up without receiving that type of attention, so now we're very very desperate for it - and very, very, VERY sensitive to when it doesn't happen, or is even perceived to not have happened. Something as small as being talked over in a group chat can set us off, but something as small as a simple, "hey, it's so cool that you did this, I love it." can win us over.

And to be completely fair, most of the time us being "ignored" isn't completely intentional. Like, I get it, yeah, sometimes timing just doesn't work out for person A to read my favorite book at my own rec, but by the time person B is in their life, person A can read it, and it's not anything personal. Sometimes the content I make just isn't someone's ~style~ and they support me, they really do, they just don't know what to say. Sometimes someone forgets to respond, or doesn't get a notification when I send them something I made or tell them about something I did. (There is less excuse for being ignored in face-to-face/offline convos though.) But because of the trauma of us constantly being ignored as kids/teens, the smallest little thing hurts and as a result we seek and crave attention EVERYWHERE.

So now, to give in to narc stereotypes of begging for attention: If you're a person without NPD and you genuinely want to help the narcissists you have in your life, the second best thing you can do for us is checking in to make sure we're not overlooked. Try to be sure you're not ignoring us, and if we do something cool, try to compliment it, even if it's something you don't fully "understand." Ask us about what we've been up to lately, what we're proud of about ourselves, and agree with us that what we've done is pretty cool. I mean, you'd do that for any friend, right? It's really not all outlandish for a narc to want that.

(If you're curious what the FIRST best thing you can do for a narcissist is, it's giving us a million dollars unlearning your anti-NPD ableism and calling people out who use narcissist as an insult as a synonym for abuser. Even in "offline" spaces, even when we're not around, even doctors/therapists. Even "narc" abuse survivors.)

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group G, Round 2, Poll 8:

Propaganda under the cut

Taylor Hebert / Skitter

Gaslight: She’s constantly gaslighting herself, like seriously all the time. Mainly because she couldn’t properly process her own emotions to save her life. ‘I’m totally fine after doing [fucked up thing]. Totally fine. It was my only option, and definitely not a result of my own deep-seated trauma affecting the way I perceive and interact with the world around me. Plus it’s not like it was even *that* fucked up. Actually, it was definitely the most moral choice in that situation. I had no other option. They forced my hand’. No they fucking didn’t Taylor. You had tons of other options, you’re just too much of a traumatized mess to recognize them. And *Worm* is well-written enough that, because we’re constantly seeing things from her fucked up point of view, we believe her. Especially when she describes events slightly yet very significantly differently from how they actually *textually* occurred previously in the text, but not so obviously that the readers notice without it being pointed out to them. It’s only during interludes from the POVs of other characters that we get a view of her without that lens of self-delusion. Gatekeep: Probably the weakest of the three for her, but somebody else could probably tell you more. Girlboss: She has the power to control bugs, with perfect coordination, infinite multitasking, and even proprioception. What does she do with that (in no particular order)? Rot somebodies dick off. Stick flies up his urethra. Eat his eyes with your bugs after he’s already disabled. Stick bullets ant up somebodies anus. Have bugs clean off the sweat and other material immediately after losing your virginity. Use your bugs to to drive a car through a city post-disaster while blind, without anybody else realizing you’ve been blinded. Get stabbed in the shoulder through bone, and proceed to monologue to the stabbed without showing any signs of pain. Line up bugs on people your shooting at with bugs on your gun to give you pinpoint accuracy. Hide massive amounts of bugs in the folds and crevices of your body, as well as in in your hair. Join a gang of supervillains. Carve out somebodies eyes. Turn butterflies into an instrument of terror. Kill a baby. You know, just completely normal things for a barely 16 (pre-timeskip) / not-quite 18 (post-timeskip) year old girl to do (most of these were pre-timeskip).

[copied from @lakesbian so credit to them]

*rotting a guy's dick off with brown recluses. on accident. *realizing due to her accident that it's actually pretty effective to put bugs on genitals and starting to threaten people with putting tapeworms up their asses on purpose. and also putting bugs up asses and peeholes on purpose. really if theres an orifice she puts bugs up there on purpose *dips her bugs in capsaicin before putting bugs up orifices on purpose so it hurts more. [skitter voice]i just dipped every tarantula hawk wasp in my villainous lair in liquid pepper spray so nows not the time to get stupid with my ass *using spider silk to create rube-goldberg machines of suffering i.e hauling a dude 3 stories up into the air and then dropping him, shattering all of his limbs on impact. all while casually holding a conversation w/ someone else *using centipedes to hollow another villain's eyes out and then putting maggots inside and just Leaving Them There with the intent of the heroes she hands the villain over to finding the maggots later and being scared of her *killed parahumans' wonder woman equivalent by putting bugs in her lungs and then using those bugs to make silk in her lungs to block out airflow. while monotone-quoting something wonder woman had said to threaten her earlier back at her as she died. wonder woman wasn't even in the room to hear it she just did it anyway. *only time she has ever successfully been jailed is when she turned herself in on purpose *made a phone call using bugs once. not villainous but very funny and iconic *used bugs to swang around a disintegration knife on a massive length of silk, killing like 50 people instantly, because she wanted one (1) person in the room dead and was willing to just shotgun that shit until it worked out for her. and then immediately after proceeded to think of herself as "not much of a fighter." because she has psychological issues. *mind-control kidnapped several thousand people once *literally made fun of god's dead girlfriend until he got suicidal and died about it *drove a car. blind. using bugs. no one realized she was blind for like 12 hours because she's a bug freak superorganism of a girl who walked around using bugs to triangulate perfectly w/o vision. also not villainous but still iconic *wanted to put 10000 black widow spiders in a shared villainous base to make costumes out of spider silk w/ and when the other dude who lived there was like "wtf can we not??" she was like "huh that's surprising. you don't want 10000 black widow spiders in your home? why? are you arachnophobic or something?" because she's a freak. *fucked, got up, and immediately made several hundred bugs crawl across her naked ass body to clean her off. because she's a freak. her boyfriend has had spiders on his dick he's just going to have to live with this *literally psychologically cannot refrain from putting bugs in the hair and clothing of everyone within a several block radius to keep track of them at all times because she's a panopticonic freak. like i'm talking "her friends occasionally talk to bugs they see under the assumption that it's her spying on them, and they're Right" level panopticonic freak. she rocks. *did i mention she's 15. world's most autistic freak 15yo dissociates hard enough to kill god more at 7

Regina George

Mean Girls became a template for high school drama movies, Regina being the meanest of the titular "mean girls"

[doodle-pops]

A Lot Like Love

Erestor x reader

Request: Hello! i would like story with Erestor as first love story please ? In rivendell and the summertime vibes - @sofyawiththelves

Words: 800

Warnings: none

Synopsis: The love story of how you captured Erestor’s heart on a warm summer’s day.

Love was never an emotion Erestor claimed to have experienced, but understood the raw passionate chokehold it placed on people. The countless novels of love at first and love conquering all played out vividly before his eyes between others. He knew what it looked like, but never felt, touched or tasted it. To imagine the colours of love whenever it struck him, should ever he be blessed to live in the moment, was serendipitous.

Erestor found himself on a stroll, meandering through the market stalls filled with merchants and local shopkeepers, searching. For what? He didn't truly know, until...

He found himself in an unprecedented state of nervousness, an unsettling sensation akin to a whirlwind of butterflies taking flight within the depths of his stomach. What made this feeling particularly absurd was the fact that it struck him in broad daylight, amidst a bustling crowd of people.

Who were you and where had you manifested from? Why had it taken him this long to notice your presence?

No matter how hard he attempted to dismiss it, he couldn’t banish this overpowering emotion. It was as though you were an unstoppable and immovable force who had infiltrated his being, someone who seemed acutely aware of the impact you had on those around you. Your enigmatic figure casually meandered through the area, seemingly oblivious to his own statue-like presence.

A sly smile graced your lips, stretching into unrestrained laughter. It was evident that you found amusement in his starstruck demeanour, the sparkle in your eyes betraying your true intentions. This façade was deliberate, he was convinced; you couldn’t possibly be so naive as to overlook the repercussions of your actions.

You strolled about with an effortless elegance, your hair adorned with flowers like a personal halo, and a natural radiance that outshone the sun itself. The summer sun could not maintain its glow when you existed. It was impossible to outshine your very existence. And so, he silently cursed the heavens for placing such an angelic being on this accursed earth, forced to mingle with a motley crew of ruffians. The question that consumed his thoughts was why you had chosen to be here, among those who failed to recognize and adore them as you truly deserved.

Your garments flowed gracefully with each step, mirroring the fluidity of your body’s movements as you hopped from one vendor stall to another. Laughter erupted as you pointed out items and engagingly interacted with the vendors. For all the years he had dwelled in this city, he had been under an enchantment, unable to perceive such unfathomable beauty, magnificence, and perfection. Or perhaps it was his own eyes that had been shrouded by a veil, obscuring his view of this incredible allure.

Such magnificence should be treasured and adored, and put into poetry to be read thousands of times over and over again with cravings to capture the essence of how ethereal you are.

He yearned to reach out and grasp the aura that surrounded you, the presence that enveloped your being and bestowed upon them such mirth. He wished to immerse himself in it, letting it warm his soul and dispel the lingering coldness that had haunted him for years. You were his reason to smile, his reason to exist, his reason to truly live after years of mere existence. He was willing to allow your sunshine to penetrate his life and bring about the change he so desperately needed—for you, for himself.

With the noon sun still high in the sky and the streets relatively deserted, he saw an opportunity. No one seemed to care about his identity at that moment as he strode purposefully through the vendor stalls, making his way towards the person who had ignited this newfound hope within him.

With your focus locked onto a small, exquisitely beautiful hairpin, he sucked in a deep breath and adjusted his hair. Now was the moment, just like in the romance stories he read where the man would approach the woman and swoon her with something unforgettable. This was his moment to repeat all his years of fantasising.

Calling out to you, he watched as you turned to meet his gaze; his eyes capturing a mix of anxiety, courage, and hope. In that moment, the world seemed to hold its breath. Everything fell into perfect alignment, he spoke softly, capturing your attention that was the start of forever. “May I be acquainted with such a magnificent beauty?”

Masterlist

Taglist: @ranhanabi777 @lilmelily @mysticmoomin @rain-on-my-umbrella @asianbutnotjapanese @batsyforyou @sakurayaxd @involuntaryspasms @stormchaser819 @aconstructofamind @addaigio @lamemaster

If you would like to be tagged, click the taglist link to join.

[thedemonofcat]

Jaskier is a changeling, including a deep connection to nature and its magic. However, what sets Jaskier apart is an extraordinary, almost unnatural strength. His physical power reaches such incredible levels that he can effortlessly lift Roach, even when Geralt is riding on her back.

Curiously, Jaskier remains oblivious to his true nature as a Fae being. The manifestations of his magical abilities only occur when he finds himself in situations where he feels threatened. It is during these moments that his latent powers surge forth, granting him access to his innate magic.

Following Nifflgaard's pursuit of Jaskier to extract information about Geralt and Ciri's whereabouts, the decision is made to bring Jaskier to Kaer Morhen for his safety. In line with the rule that everyone residing at Kaer Morhen must contribute, Jaskier finds himself obligated to participate in the training regimen, much to his annoyance. Despite his attempts to evade the training sessions, emphasizing his role as a bard and lover rather than a fighter, his pleas fall on deaf ears.

Eventually, Jaskier finds himself reluctantly preparing to spar with Eskel. Among Geralt's brothers, Eskel is the one whom Geralt trusts not to get carried away during the fight and inadvertently harm Jaskier.

At the onset of the spar, Jaskier's main objective is to evade Eskel's attacks, desperately searching for any means of avoiding the impending blows. However, Eskel's persistent prodding pushes Jaskier beyond his comfort zone, compelling him to gather his courage and fight back. Overwhelmed by panic, Jaskier inadvertently taps into his dormant magic, unleashing a surge of power.

In a sudden and unexpected turn of events, Jaskier's magic surges forth, propelling Eskel across the training ground and into the air. Realizing the potential danger, Jaskier instinctively conjures a bush to cushion Eskel's landing, using his nature-based magic to soften the Witcher's impact

Overwhelmed by the unexpected display of power, Jaskier spirals into a state of panic, convinced that he is some kind of monstrous entity. In his distress, he becomes consumed by the fear of being hunted down and killed by the people he has come to consider his friends. Desperate to escape this perceived danger, Jaskier attempts to flee, but his flight is halted by Geralt's firm grasp.

Geralt, understanding Jaskier's turmoil, intervenes to prevent any harm befalling his bewildered companion. He assures Jaskier that he has no intention of allowing any harm to come to him, emphasizing his commitment to protecting Jaskier at all costs. Once the others have ensured Eskel's well-being and tended to his injuries, Geralt leads Jaskier inside, seeking a more secure and private space to address the situation.

Inside, Vesemir takes the opportunity to chastise Geralt, expressing his frustration at the apparent lack of awareness Geralt had regarding Jaskier's true nature as a Fae. Vesemir remarks upon the extensive time he has spent imparting knowledge to the Witchers, highlighting their supposed intelligence and yet their failure to recognize Jaskier's heritage despite Geralt's years of companionship with him.

As Vesemir's words sink in, Geralt's mind begins to connect the dots regarding Jaskier's true identity. Certain peculiarities about Jaskier's interactions with nature start to make sense. Geralt recalls how birds would harmonize with Jaskier's melodies even when the bard merely hummed absentmindedly. It becomes clear that Jaskier's affinity with nature and the presence of magic within him are linked to his Fae heritage.

Still trembling with fear, Jaskier musters the courage to voice his concerns, questioning whether his Fae nature makes him inherently dangerous. In response, Vesemir assures Jaskier that his power does not make him a threat but rather reflects his lack of training. Recognizing the importance of keeping both Jaskier and those around him safe, it is decided that Jaskier should receive proper combat training. The goal is to harness and control his exceptional strength, ensuring it is wielded responsibly.

In addition to combat training, Jaskier finds himself joining Ciri in her magical lessons under the guidance of Yennefer. This allows him to explore and develop control over his magical abilities, granting him a better understanding of his nature-based magic and the means to channel it effectively.

[bluedalahorse]

Public perceptions of Sara as a neurodivergent in love

As far as Sara’s romance arc goes in Young Royals, something I’ve thought a lot about is how there’s this ableist tendency to infantilize autistic people, and part of this ableist infantilization comes down to downplaying or ignoring or erasing autistic people’s sexualities. Luckily, there’s more shows recently that have pushed back against that in some form—Everything’s Gonna Be Okay and Heartbreak High being among them. (Everything’s Gonna Be Okay even has an ace autistic character to nuance things all the more.) Young Royals first and foremost pushes back by giving Sara a love story in her own right, full of as many ups and downs and complex turns of character that Wille and Simon’s relationship does.

There’s a second thing that I think might be going on, and it’s subtle enough to me that I want to see how season 3 plays out before I can say “this is for sure a thing that’s happening in the show.” And that is the way that other characters respond to Sara’s potential for romantic and sexual attraction, whether they’re downplaying it or actually seeing the reality of it. Now, Sara’s Manor House pals at least acknowledge her potential to feel attraction and be in a relationship, and that’s good, but it feels sort of… abstract? And while Sara does lack the experience the other girls have, they tend to presume a level of innocence and naïveté on her part that doesn’t quite match up with Sara’s more complicated reality. (Also, this may just be my bias speaking, but Fredrika’s comment about Sara’s virginity particularly grates on me. Fredrika plays it off as a compliment but I don’t think it’s meant to be kind.) Meanwhile, when it comes to Sara’s interactions with Simon, we see her teasing him about boys and boyfriends, but he doesn’t seem to respond to her in the same way. Not out of malicious intent I don’t think, but it was something I noticed in their interaction.

It also strikes me that Sara and August were in a secret relationship all season 2 and as far as we know so far, no one noticed. Neither of them is very subtle in how they’re texting the other one and they’re both always sneaking off “to go get a textbook” or whatever. Boys have walked by Sara as she’s walked through the halls of Forest Ridge dormitory. It wouldn’t be that hard to figure out! Felice lives with Sara and doesn’t suspect secret boyfriends or anything. I’m curious to see what the Hillerska rumor mill is like in season 3—whether anyone did pick up on the little sargust tryst like they did the wilmon one, or whether Hillerska students failed to notice because they don’t see Sara as being inherently connected to romance as someone like say, Felice is. Naturally Sara’s class background and gender play a role in that as well, but identities always interact and we can’t leave neurodivergence out of the equation.

We talk a lot about how Sara’s neurodivergence impacted the way she got into a relationship, mostly in terms of how her neurodivergent traits impact her sense of morality and the way she reads certain social signals. What I haven’t seen people talk about as much is how other people in her life perceive her neurodivergence and her capacity for romantic and/or sexual relationships. I’m curious, too, to know how intentionally the show is addressing this. As season 3 deals with the fallout of season 2, I wonder to what extent other characters might try to pigeonhole Sara as childlike or not in full understanding of her own feelings, as they try to make sense of what happened with Sara and August. And I wonder to what extent Sara will have to fight back and claim her own agency in relation to these feelings, even as she’s left this relationship behind.

What do you all think?

[tgammsideblog]

Consequences of obsession with shipping (Or why Tgamm fandom doing shipping from the start was a mistake)

So, i think this is something that needed to be addressed for a while now. Some of you probably aren't surprised for me to write a post about this since you have noticed this problem ages ago.

Disclaimer: What i'm going to talk about in here isn't against people who like shipping or against ships like Molly x Libby or Molly x Andrea. I'm fine with those ships, i even have rebloggued fanart of those myself in the past. What this is about is how far some people have taken these shipping thing in the fandom, even when the creators have clarified multiple times that some things weren't going to turn out as people expected them to be.

So, shipping, pairing up two characters or more, usually around the same age, because they have good chemistry together or people want to see how they would interact. At times people do things called ¨crack ships¨, which two characters that have no chemistry whatsoever being paired up together for the sake of the funnies.

Shipping exists in almost every fandom, is normal and the rule for it to exist. It isn't surprising to see that some ships exist in Tgamm fandom because of this too. That's all fine now. The problem is how much emphasis some parts of the Tgamm fandom have gave to shipping (mainly twitter and tiktok) to the point this brought problems to the fandom, which i'm going to talk now.

Some backstory

When Tgamm premiere was back on October 1st of 2021, around two years ago, people were going nuts over shipping between Molly with Libby or Andrea. It wasn't terrible but people were giving too much focus to that instead of talking about the characters or the themes of the show. It got so far that one of the creators, Bob Roth, had to intervene and clarify on twitter that people were looking too much into it and that, and i quote: ¨the internet has piled heaps of expectations on Molly based on very little data¨ and that ¨I think the best way to enjoy the show is to watch without preconceived notions and let it unfold naturally.¨

Source: https://twitter.com/automaticgravy/status/1444708477520072705

Sections of the fandom were giving too much emphasis on shipping in a show that barely had any romance at that point and it was mainly about the friendship-relationship between the two main characters Molly and Scratch. It was frustrating for people like me who were just trying to enjoy the show for what it was and what it was doing that instead of if a x ship became canon or not.

In a way i think this obsession with shipping really hurt the fandom and still has effect on it today was in how Scratch was perceived and analyzed as a character by the fandom and outside the fandom in general.

Scratch is one of the most complex characters in the show and one that changes the most from the first episode to now, in the second season (and still changing). In any other fandom Scratch would be a very popular character because of this, and yet, somehow in this fandom there are parts of it that seem to ignore his characterization and complexity, even when a good part of the story revolves around him and his growth.

Now, while there could be other factors that play a role in this, such as Scratch being a non-human character, or the younger audience relating more to the teen characters, i think it is hard for me to ignore that shipping had an impact in the way people view his character and the way talk about him. Because those who have watched the show without getting into shipping that much really like and appreciate his character. And they appreciate the show for what it does and the messages it gives.

After the creators clarified what their intentions with the characters were, the fandom seemed to calm down a bit and over time people started to appreciate the show more for its characters arcs, humor, themes and nice continuity for a slice of life show. All seemed to be going okay after season 1.

...Until some trolls around August-October 2022 leaked some footage from Season 2 introducing the Chens as characters, spoiling an important surprise for some fans and revealing some scenes of Molly crushing on the new boy character: Ollie Chen.

This scenes were clearly leaked with the purpose to start drama in the fandom, because things like this are what get fans too invested in shipping riled up. And that's what happened. Some fans got really mad over what was Molly having an innocent crush on a boy from her age. Something very normal for a girl of her age to have.

Months before the Season 2 premiere ¨The New (Para) Normal¨, some tiktok fans and parts of twitter (i assume teenagers) were creating accounts with the sole purpose to hate on Ollie's character way before they could see how the show was going to develop his character or was introduced on screen. Let me repeat: This was happening months before Season 2 premiere, some sections of the fandom were throwing shit to Ollie for no other reason than ¨interfering¨ with their ships (which no one was stopping them for shipping them even if it wasn't canon). Not to mention that the creators have clarified that some things weren't going to happen as people expected them to be, a statement that seemed to be ignored by some fans regardless.

I won't deny that some Ollie Chen fans or Mollie (Molly x Ollie) fans can't be toxic as well. I'm sure there is more than one example of Mollie shippers that can be annoying or start drama. The thing is, a good chunk of this is a consequence of certain parts of the fandom hating on a character and ship months before the Season 2 premiere. Of course this is going to lead to fans who are just trying to enjoy the show for what it is getting tired and angry of this shipping drama. I'm not saying that Mollie fans being toxic towards other fans is correct, what i'm saying is that i understand why that happened and perhaps it would have been avoided if fans had acted more normal about shipping.

Jump to April 2023, Season 2 premiere and the episode ¨I Wanna Dance with Some-Ollie¨ airing. In this episode has Molly and Scratch clashing over Molly having a crush on Ollie, with Scratch acting rather controlling of Molly (for personal issues he has) and Molly letting herself being too ¨blinded¨ by her crush on Ollie.

It's an episode that it is not hard to see where the two characters come from when you analyse it: Molly just wants to be with someone she really likes, has a lot in common with and she is struggling with all these feelings at a very young age. She also believes that Ollie can change and let go of his views among other things. Scratch has a reason to dislike Ollie because he is a ghosthunter and he suffers from some abandonment issues and is afraid of losing Molly as a friend in the episode.

The two have an ugly argument but they don't take long to make up, they both apologize to each other and Molly decides to avoid Ollie for the moment because it is too dangerous for Scratch, thus ending the ¨romance arc¨ between Ollie and Molly.

Despite Molly and Scratch making up at the end of episode, some people decided to start drama over this and call Molly a ¨horrible friend¨ among other things for... acting like a teenager would do at her age, making rushed decisions and not thinking straight. Something that Molly has been shown to be in previous episodes like ¨Ready, Set, Snow!¨. Of course, this discourse had to do with shipping again. Some people realized that it was very unnecessary since the problem was solved in the same episode it took place, with Molly ending her relationship with Ollie for that moment.

Eventually Ollie gave up his views against ghosts, apologized for his actions and later joined the Ghost Friends team to help other ghosts instead of capturing them. In some of the latest episodes he has been seen hanging out with Molly in more friendly way than romantic terms and both seem to be good friends with feelings for each other. I have talked about Ollie's character arc in other posts so i don't feel like repeating what i have already said again in here to not make this post too long.

Present Day, Present Time

Now most people (at least from what i have seen on Tumblr and Discord) seem to A) Like Ollie as a character or are okay with him or B) Are neutral about him and are fine with others liking him as long as they are respectful of their opinions

While the fandom in some ways appears to have grown past that whole shipping drama, there are still fans that everyone once in a while push their headcanons on other people and came up with things that aren't true about the show. I don't want to give names, but i know that one of my mutuals was harassed for posting some Mollie fanart she made a while ago. The user kept insisting how this artist was being ¨homophobic¨ among other things for... making fanart of a canon ship. To be fair, this user clearly had some issues but it is an example of something that still happens nowadays.

I'm going to be honest, at this point i don't consider people like this mentioned user ¨real fans¨ since they don't seem to even watch the show at all and only care about pushing their ships unto other people. They don't seem to care about what the show is trying to say or the way it is written. Again, it has nothing to do with them disliking Ollie or Mollie, that's fine by me. My issue is when they ignore everything else about the show and very likely don't watch it and then want to push their opinions on people who do watch it. These are people i don't want to be associated with and would rather avoid them instead.

TLDR: Leaks suck and people should try enjoying shows without getting too obsessed over shipping because it can make them ignore everything else the show is trying to tell and turn a fandom toxic in some ways. Enjoy shows for what they do and judge them based on that.

[nothorses]

Sometimes I’m scared of becoming a toxic asshole for thinking these things, but when I saw the transmasc separatist dude, some of the things called for were things I already wanted to do. Like, seeking out transmasc authors and read their books, or transmasc musicians and listening to their music, or only dating other transmascs, or sticking to transmasc spaces. But I don’t want to do this because I think non-transmascs are incapable of not being transandrophobic. I want this because I’ve been hurt and all this feels like a way to give me some room to breathe and heal. And it’s frustrating cause the separatist stuff feels like it’s inviting me in for that but I don’t think it will help but I’m scared of others telling me I’m no better than them for needing space. I don’t know. Maybe I just suck at unity. Hate to think that tho.

I think there's a big difference between, like, "it feels good to discuss common experiences with people who understand them" (extremely normal and fine), and "it is only safe to interact with people just like me and everyone else is trying to hurt me" (unhealthy and counterproductive).

Everyone wants to see themselves in the things they read and watch. Everyone wants to relate to other people.

And I mean, I created a discord server for Transmascs for this reason; there weren't really any spaces where transmascs could talk about transmasc experiences with each other, and the lack of any kind of transmasc "community" was very sorely felt. I guess you don't see it as much lately, and I'm so incredibly grateful for why that is- but a lot of the early conversations around this stuff talked about how being transmasc was considered shameful or regressive; it wasn't something we were supposed to find joy or pride in, and it wasn't something you were supposed to connect with other people about. And that did so much damage to transmascs! It made us isolated and lonely, and it made it so hard to talk about anything we were going through that we often bought into the lie that none of it was real, or important enough to discuss. Not to mention the impact on our ability to share and get relevant information or resources.

There's nothing wrong with needing some space to talk about shared experiences with people who get it- and I'd argue that this kind of space is deeply necessary. We don't need to give that up. That's not what unity is.

Unity is recognizing that other transmascs are not the only people we share common experiences with. We're not the only safe people, or the only people with talking to, or the only people we need to be fighting for.

It's good to connect to your community! Keep doing that! Take the time to grow your identity, connect to that part of yourself, and work to heal the ways in which that lack of connection has impacted you.

Just don't do it out of fear of the people who aren't just like you, and try not to limit yourself to one community, or one type of person, exclusively.

You are a multifaceted person, and even the trans community itself is incredibly diverse; you will likely find, if you take the time to listen, that a lot of transfems and unaligned nb folks share a lot of the same experiences, too! Even ones connected to manhood, masculinity, or our perceived inability to be autonomous.

And honestly, it sounds like you know all this already- and like you're maybe afraid you have the wrong intentions, or you might mess up, even if you're honestly just trying your best.

Feel free to disregard this bit if I'm wrong, but if I'm not: trust yourself. Trust that you do not have secret, evil intentions or hatred hidden even from yourself. Trust that if you mess up, you will do your best to correct it when you find out about it. You're doing fine, anon, you don't need to be hypervigilant about your own thoughts and feelings. And maybe you'll find that if you can work towards that goal, you'll start to worry a lot less about Becoming A Toxic Asshole for, like, correctly identifying the kernel of reasonable motivation that lead to someone else's wrong conclusion.

[nighted-aonaran]

Dispelling Myths: Demons Aren't Dangerous, They're What You Make of Them

In our cultural imagination, demons have long been portrayed as malevolent entities, capable of deception, manipulation, and harm. From ancient folklore to modern media, demons are often depicted as sinister beings intent on wreaking havoc and sowing chaos.

However, the belief that demons are inherently dangerous or deceitful is rooted more in propaganda and superstition than in reality. In truth, demons—like any other fictional or mythological creatures—are products of human imagination and interpretation. How we choose to perceive and interact with them ultimately determines their significance and impact in our lives.

The notion that demons are dangerous or deceptive may stem from a fear of the unknown or a desire to assign blame for negative experiences. Throughout history, demons have been scapegoated for everything from illness and misfortune to societal unrest and moral decay. This demonization has perpetuated harmful stereotypes and misconceptions, leading to unwarranted fear and prejudice.

In reality, demons are neither inherently good nor evil—they simply are. Like any other fictional characters or mythological beings, demons can serve as powerful symbols and metaphors, representing aspects of human nature, psychology, and spirituality. How we choose to interpret and engage with these symbols is entirely up to us.

Rather than fearing or demonizing demons, we have the power to reclaim their narrative and redefine their significance in our lives. By viewing demons through a lens of empowerment and agency, we can harness their symbolism to explore complex themes, confront our fears, and embrace our own inner darkness.

Moreover, the idea that demons send subliminal messages or exert control over our thoughts and actions is unfounded and lacks scientific evidence. While media and popular culture may perpetuate such myths for dramatic effect, there is no credible basis for believing that demons possess supernatural powers or influence over human behavior.

In conclusion, it's time to dispel the myths and misconceptions surrounding demons and embrace a more nuanced and empowered perspective. Demons are not inherently dangerous or deceitful—they are what we make of them. By reclaiming their narrative and reframing their symbolism, we can harness their potential for personal growth, self-discovery, and empowerment.

[theerurishipper]

Love reading your analysis post. Thought I'd bring one into the table and let you read my thoughts on a certain character.

.................................. Frankly, I never truly regarded Chloe's character, particularly in her capacity as Marinette's "bully" during Season 1, with the seriousness it seemed to attract. While many viewers hold strong negative sentiments toward her character, my exposure to various novels and manga has shown me instances where characters akin/similar to Chloe were portrayed with greater depth and nuance. In these narratives, authors skillfully delved into the character's animosity towards the protagonist, often weaving a compelling backstory that shed light on how resentment stemming from a childhood marked by neglect or abuse could transform an individual into a more morally compromised figure.

Sometimes, these characters underwent substantial development and personal growth, whereas in other cases, they remained stagnant, allowing the main character to recognize and acknowledge this stasis. This literary divergence underscores the difference in storytelling approaches between Thomas Astruc and many of the creators in the manga and novel realms I've encountered. While Chloe's character in "Miraculous Ladybug" might have played a minor antagonistic role the Astruc creator intent appeared to extend no valuable lessons. In doing so, he presented characters like Chloe as just plain evil while the ones I've encountered with authors would rather use their antagonistic and bully characters as cautionary examples, demonstrating the potential consequences of their actions, whether they ultimately experienced redemption or not.

I find it challenging to take the strong animosity towards Chloe seriously, particularly because of Astruc himself and his own hatred for her, as the creator of a children's magical girl cartoon, it's crucial in my opinion to maintain a clear boundary between one's professional role and personal life. The fusion of personal grievances with one's job can only exacerbate anger and resentment, which is counterproductive. I believe that past personal matters, whatever they may be, should not influence the production of a children's show, as these shows have a profound impact on their viewers.

Miraculous Ladybug, being a widely popular series among both children and adults, should have been carefully considered for its messaging. It's perplexing that the show wasn't discontinued earlier, considering the negative messages that the writing team appears to be conveying. The fandom may also share some of the responsibility; perhaps they've had encounters with individuals akin to Chloe in their own lives, which contributes to their strong reactions. Regardless, the show has already garnered a substantial amount of criticism for Chloe's character. Why the fandom continues to perpetuate and even endorse such negativity remains unclear. Furthermore, the fanbase's inclination to label her as psychopathic and devoid of any redemption, in similar way to Marinette's belief that she can never change, is bewildering and raises valid concerns.

When I mentioned that I never perceived Chloe as Marinette's "bully," I understand that this perspective may not be universally shared. To me, Chloe never posed a genuine threat, unlike Lila, whose manipulative nature was far more concerning. Chloe struck me as someone who was all talk and little action, often emphasizing her privileged background by calling out for her father's help.

In an ironic twist, I actually view Chloe as Marinette's rival more than her tormentor. It's intriguing how Marinette and the rest of their class didn't cower in fear of Chloe. Despite her wealth, Chloe seemed to attract little genuine affection from her peers, as most interactions with her revolved around attempts to control or exploit her, or simply to gain something from her. The way even the show's creators seemed to discard her character makes me sympathize with her on a different level.

Perhaps it's a sign of growing older, but I now perceive Chloe as a rather pitiable character. I can't muster any anger towards her, and witnessing the fandom labeling her as "evil" only makes me inclined to challenge such judgments. If this is how they perceive a child, then they might benefit from reconnecting with reality, as this is a rather misguided and stupid perspective on their part.

I suspect what really irks the anti-Chloe faction is that we choose to empathize with her, even though it may not align with their perspective. It's important to clarify that we're not in the business of justifying or excusing her actions or behavior, nor are we hiding behind her parents' shortcomings as a shield for her conduct. Instead, we're highlighting a nuanced aspect that's often overlooked in the fandom.

It's also worth acknowledging that in this fan community, there's a tendency to grant leniency, especially when it comes to Marinette, often attributing her actions to her age of 14. It's somewhat peculiar how this grace isn't uniformly extended to all characters, with Adrien, for instance, being a prime example. That sort of being a hypocrite.

When it comes to Chloe, I can't help but feel a sense of pity—a very human emotion. I believe there might be individuals out there who have experienced something akin to Chloe's situation, or perhaps they've been a little like her in their own past. If the show's creator chose not to redeem her character and allowed her to spiral further, it wouldn't necessarily be a problem, as long as they conveyed her role as a cautionary tale.

Beneath all the layers of her character, Chloe emerges as a profoundly desolate 14-year-old. I may not particularly like her, but recognizing the underlying sadness in her character is something I believe many people can relate to.

What the point of this show exactly? I thought Magical girls shows were to inspire hope. If the protagonist herself deems her to far gone then what the point. I thought a magical girl is one who doesn't lose hope and to inspire characters like Chloe not to damn her.

I'm glad you like my posts!

And as for your analysis, I don't have anything else to add! It's a great analysis of Chloe. I do agree that Chloe's relationship with Marinette is rather vague. If Chloe did bully Marinette, which I'm not denying, then it's played for laughs more than anything, which makes it confusing as to just what their dynamic was like. Chloe is a bully, but her actions are never taken seriously by the narrative, which sends a muddled message when you start to pretend Marinette was deeply mentally scarred by this when you've spent 5 seasons making a joke out of it.

In the series, Marinette has more of a rivalry with Chloe until Seasons 4 and 5 decided to pretend Chloe was some kind of serious threat whose only go to move wasn't yelling for her daddy all the time. In Origins, Marinette seems more disgruntled than actually troubled that Chloe is in her class again, and even snaps back at her when Chloe does that thing with the bubblegum. Chloe is just the mean-girl archetype, someone with whom the main character has a rivalry. And I personally do interpret Marinette and Chloe's dynamic as one where Chloe bullied Marinette and I am really not going to downplay that, but I also see where it can come off differently, considering the show never really portrays Chloe as a significant threat. Clearly there are scenes in certain episodes where Chloe is being a bully which are taken seriously, but a lot of the time they are not. It's just the archetype, it's up to one's own interpretation.

Thank you for your ask!

[theambitiouswoman]

Hey sistaa

This is kinda funny😅

In my work place I'm getting so much attention and I'm unconsciously chasing them at some point and that's putting me down in part of focusing on my own stuffs and work

Firstly

I think it's because It's been so many years now that I dated anyone...it's really been very very long time ,but I'm getting attracted very soon,, like very fast, just if the guy is being sweet and nice and smiling around..I'm down for them🙄😒😒you get it!? Even tho I don't need any love commitment relationships right now

Secondly

I think I never got that father love and care , I mean I never got from anybody TBH..so I guess that's why I'm attracted to someone so quickly right??

I think it's truee...

So how to control these temptations (ik it's normal for everybody) but I'm getting desperate sistaaaaa🙄😒🙄

And started expecting them to show me care and love😭😑😐

Sisss trust meee they only started all these😑 and made me like this now

Hey sis! 💁‍♀️

I think you are on the right track with your thought process on this one.

It's very natural to crave attention especially if you've been single for a while. If this is the first time you find yourself getting a lot of attention from men, it can feel intoxicating and we want to chase it and run with it. Not having that fatherly love or care can also impact our relationships and how we perceive affection. It's possible that you're looking for that missing affection in your interactions with men at work.

But not all attention is good attention. It's important to discern between attention that uplifts you and attention that might be superficial or even harmful. Nothing good for us will serve as a distraction.

Be careful to not let external validation dictate your self worth. Not everyone who gives us attention has good intentions. Some might be driven by their own agendas or motives. It's easy to get swayed by attention and start molding ourselves to fit what others want to see.

Like everything in life, attention is best in moderation. It's okay to enjoy it, but it's also important to recognize when it's becoming a distraction or affecting our well being. Focus on loving and valuing yourself. When you're content and confident in your own skin, you're less likely to seek validation from others.

A lot of people experience similar emotions. It's important to recognize these feelings, understand where they're coming from, and take steps to ensure they don't negatively impact your life. Stay strong and fabulous! 💖

[azura-tsukikage]

The relationship between your inner world and your outer world is a complex and dynamic one. It involves how your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and self-perception influence your external experiences, actions, and interactions. Here's an elaboration on this topic:

Understanding the Connection: How Your Inner World Affects Your Outer World

Beliefs Shape Perceptions: Your inner world, particularly your beliefs and values, strongly shape how you perceive and interpret the external world. For example, if you hold a belief that people are generally kind, you're more likely to notice and remember acts of kindness.

Emotions Influence Behavior: Your emotions play a significant role in how you behave in the external world. For instance, if you're feeling happy and confident, you're more likely to engage in social activities and interact positively with others.

Self-Perception and Self-Efficacy: How you see yourself, your self-esteem, and self-efficacy (belief in your ability to achieve goals) have a direct impact on your actions and choices. High self-efficacy often leads to taking on challenging tasks and persisting in the face of obstacles.

The Law of Attraction: Some people believe in the "Law of Attraction," which suggests that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into your life. While this concept is often viewed with skepticism, there's some truth to the idea that a positive mindset can lead to positive outcomes.

Emotional Resonance: Your inner emotional state can affect the emotions of those around you. If you're in a good mood, people you interact with are more likely to pick up on your positivity and respond in kind.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies: Your inner beliefs and expectations can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies. If you believe you will fail at a task, you might not put in the effort required, leading to the predicted failure. Conversely, a strong belief in success can drive you to excel.

Practical Applications of Inner-World Influence

Mindfulness and Self-Awareness: Developing self-awareness through mindfulness practices can help you understand the impact of your inner world on your outer experiences.

Positive Affirmations: Using positive affirmations can help reframe your beliefs and self-perception, fostering a more positive inner world.

Emotional Regulation: Learning to manage your emotions can have a significant impact on your interactions with others and your overall well-being.

Goal Setting: Setting and working toward goals can be a powerful way to transform your inner world. The sense of accomplishment and progress positively influences your outer world.

Seeking Support: If you're struggling with negative inner beliefs or emotional challenges, don't hesitate to seek support from a therapist or counselor.

Understanding how your inner world affects your outer world is a key step in personal growth and self-improvement. It empowers you to make intentional changes in your beliefs, emotions, and behaviors to create a more positive and fulfilling external reality.

[butch-reidentified]

One of my best friends is a gender critical, intensely radfem-aligned, mtf transsexual. I've talked about this friend several times before on here, but I think it's time I devote a stand-alone post. As with most of my posts, it will be long in signature JC fashion, but I think the topic warrants it: my friend is a wonderful person first and foremost, but is a truly fascinating and unique example of transsexuality as well.

First, a note: I've said this before, but for anyone new to my discussions of my gc mtf friend, she has never and would never expect or ask me to use she pronouns, but it's just how my brain perceives her despite rationally knowing she's male. I have no interest in forcing myself to use sex-accurate pronouns when it doesn't come naturally, because I don't believe it really matters in this context. It matters when it comes to things like news media reporting violent crime by transwomen as committed by women, but interpersonally or in a tumblr post, I don't feel a need to firmly stick to sex-accurate pronouns when my brain naturally goes to cross-sex ones for someone.

Here's a slightly amended quote from one of my early posts about her:

These are the same type of people who drove the transwomen I love from their own spaces by shaming them for having actual sex dysphoria and not "embracing the girl dick" or whatever. Literally what happened to my best friend, and she doesn't deserve that. She's so deeply passionate about women's liberation, believes firmly in female only spaces and sports, in honoring all of women's boundaries, in the definition of homosexuality, regularly argues with our other friends that eliminating all males would objectively result in a better world (with sources lol), calls herself a transwoman only - specifically as one word, for which she has a particular definition predicated on being male - not a woman, and most interestingly, comes across as very much female socialized. And not in a remotely intentional or performative way: it negatively impacts her the same way it does me or any actual woman I know. It's wild.

This is something I'd be interested in proper research on, because according to all her lifelong friends and neighbors, she's always been this way (and has been on an anti-porn crusade since the THIRD fuckin grade). She never internalized male socialization, like at all, and somehow seems to have internalized at least the majority of female socialization. Interacting with her feels exactly like interacting with any woman, no matter the context. I've known her for 6 years or so now and that's been consistently very true. I would NEVER have guessed she wasn't raised female. She completely "passes" but doesn't wear makeup or remove body hair, wears normal clothes like just pants and a shirt, etc. She seems like such a regular woman in every way, but she's not a woman (and she won't call herself one or demand you use she pronouns... I just do because nothing else feels right tbh). Several times, friends have straight up not believed she's transsexual at first.

When I talk about her seeming female-socialized in ways that are negatively impactful, I mean things like struggling to feel like you can say no, being prone to imposter syndrome, feeling like everyone else's needs come before your own, not feeling allowed to take up space, devoting endless emotional labor to those around you even when it's 3am on a work night before a crucial 9am meeting, giving of yourself well beyond what you should... those types of things (which are only a few examples of course) are her to a T, and are things she is working to unlearn for her own wellbeing alongside other women in our friend group.

She experiences sex dysphoria the same way I've described in myself - as a seemingly neurological, very physical sensation (in the same way pain or itchiness are physical sensations), somewhat akin to Phantom Limb. I've described her "social transition" before as "an incidental byproduct of medical transition," which I still think is accurate. She transitioned medically as a last resort measure to treat physical/neurological sex dysphoria, and ended up being perceived as female. It eventually just made logistical sense to assimilate socially. She couldn't care less how others perceive her "gender" or what pronouns they use or any of that, and shares the radfem view on the definition of gender and on gender ideology.

She's in the camp of "transactivism behaves like a cult and is explicitly a men's rights movement." I remember once a couple friends asked her why she was so passionate and outraged about female erasure and lesbian erasure, and she said very simply that "the trans cult has already erased, redefined, rewritten actual transsexual people," so she understands to a small degree the feeling of it, and sees them doing the same to women and homosexuals and can't tolerate it.

Her childhood friends (nearly all female) have said they have pretty much always innately interacted with her like they would with a female friend, and never understood why. I've never had to explain anything about the female experience to her, nor known of anyone else doing so. More often, my other friends and I find ourselves explaining to her that other males absolutely don't know the things she does (regarding both the biological and social aspects) or have the awareness she does, all these things she observed as a little kid, many of which upset her deeply on behalf of her female peers.

She did go through CSA, domestic violence, a trafficking attempt, and other major traumas throughout her childhood and into young adulthood, but the people who've known her her entire life say she was already the way she is in terms of all this stuff before that.

The adults she talks about looking up to as a kid, the ones she latched onto as mentors and who shaped her, are all badass, gnc, and/or feminist women. Her number one role model as a kid was her female karate instructor who had won major competitions all over the country and was very gnc both physically and personality-wise. The memories involving these mentors that she talks about most and remembers most vividly are almost all regarding misogyny and the injustices and cruelty women and girls face.

One other interesting fact is that she's XXY and had gynecomastia and slightly more feminine than normal features such as fat distribution before transition, and her body feminized more from HRT (she only had genital surgery due to extreme intractable dysphoria; she is opposed to any other surgeries like FFS or BA since they're entirely cosmetic to her) than any transwoman I've ever met or even seen pictures of. Most TW I've known barely fit a training bra - she's a D cup. It's so odd to me that she has the seemingly-neurological sex dysphoria AND the weird femsoc thing AND her body responded much more dramatically to estradiol than any other transwoman. I'm at a loss. It drives my little scientist brain crazy.

I have my theories, but ultimately I really don't know how to explain her. I've known a whole lot of trans people, and a whole lot of transwomen in particular, and while I have certainly met a few that don't come across like Gamestop Maam/average AGP vibes, they typically seem more like gay men rather than female-socialized. Even with those who do show some femsoc-like traits, it's not remotely to the degree I see in my friend, and oftentimes it's something they clearly trained themselves into to blend in.

I know there are other gender critical transsexuals out there, but idk if there is anyone else like her. I want to know, tbh, I am really super curious about it and about how/why she is the way she is (as is she lol).

I wanted to share this more concisely since I've mentioned her in multiple reblogs and posts and answers to asks over the years, but haven't really made a post specifically about her. Feel free to ask questions! She's given me full permission to discuss her experiences and whatnot here.

[mariacallous]

Fake news, conspiracy theories, the shuttering of local newspapers, COVID misinformation, and the erosion of basic trust in scientific facts increasingly distort our public debates. There are many explanations for these phenomena, ranging from the public’s increasing reliance on social media as a news source to media business models and the nano-second news cycle. Yet these factors do not explain why some people and places are so much more vulnerable to misinformation than others. Misinformation has consequences, not only for our democracy but also for our mental and physical health: New research suggests that there are strong linkages between vulnerability to misinformation and despair.

Despair is, most simply put, lack of hope. Despair describes the plight of the many that are ambivalent about whether they live or die. The latter impacts risk taking, as in behaviors that jeopardize health and longevity. Entire communities can experience this helplessness, especially when they are confronted with difficult choices and change. Drug use and suicide are internal expressions of this, while expressed misery, frustration, and anger—which have security implications when widespread—are external ones.

“Deaths of despair”—premature deaths due to drug overdoses, alcohol poisonings, and suicide—have taken over a million lives in the past decade and precipitated a consistent decline in our national average life expectancy in 2015. Not coincidentally, these deaths are disproportionately concentrated in the very same places in the country where misinformation is most rampant. Not only do many of those places display the challenges noted above, but they also have a high concentration of prime-age labor force drop out, poor health indicators, and high rates of despair and opioid addiction.

We have all too many communities—and individuals within them—that are living in such a deep state of despair, as demonstrated by our mortality figures. Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic and beginning around 2005, over 70,000 people died of such deaths each year. In 2021, due to the mental health shocks related to the pandemic as well as to the rise in prevalence of the lethal opioid derivative, fentanyl, approximately 120,000 Americans died of overdose alone. The suicide rate—remarkably—remained the roughly the same in 2020-21 as in 2019. Yet we do not know how many of those overdose deaths were intentional (estimates of intentional overdose deaths range from 15-60%). The U.S., while one of the wealthiest countries in the world and home to some of the most important medical innovations, has a crisis of despair-related death on a scale large enough to reduce our average life expectancy.

What is much less known and much less often discussed is the linkages that exist between despair and the misinformation that is plaguing our democracy, civil society, and ability to effectively address the COVID pandemic (and others in the future). New research by neurologists that finds clear linkages between despair and vulnerability to misinformation and the related increase in right-wing radicalization. The confluence of online and physical organizing—including social media usage—enhances that spread. Factors that underpin despair can make people more susceptible to extremist ideologies and create entire geographies that are prone to radicalization and violence. Poverty, unemployment, income inequality, and education levels are all relevant factors.

Social identity and psychology, neurocognitive deficits, and dehumanization (as in many work environments) are internal factors that can activate radicalization and violent action. External factors include physical environment, perceived grievances, traumatic life experiences, and social media interactions (including both real and fake actors). There may be structural reasons that both explain the vulnerabilities of some areas to misinformation and clarify how misinformation relates to despair. It is much easier for misinformation to spread in places with low levels of education and a shortage of advanced cognitive skills. These same places also often lack access to health care (particularly mental health care) and do not have trustworthy sources of local news. Skepticism about the value of education, meanwhile, which in part results from despair, is a key factor in the erosion of belief in science. These factors result in a weak base upon which to challenge fake news and rumors, and they all too quickly become “the truth.” It is not a coincidence that low COVID vaccination rates are concentrated in such places. So are despair-related deaths. Increasingly, despair is considered a national security issue as well as a health crisis.

In contrast, people who are hopeful about their futures, which includes believing that they can make them better by investing in them, are much less likely to believe misinformation. Having meaning and purpose in life provides anchors that are not only key to life satisfaction and hope but that makes it far less likely that individuals will fall for false promises or outright lies. Hope is an important part of the equation precisely because it has agentic properties based on the belief that internal forces are in control of individual lives.

More difficult than diagnosing the problem is, as always, finding viable solutions. As a first step, we have built an interactive which highlights the places and populations that are most vulnerable to despair and misinformation. The interactive presents county level information on despair, access to credible local news, cognitive skill levels for high school graduates, COVID vaccination rates, and access to higher education opportunities. It is our hope that this tool can help both academics and local and state level policymakers identify vulnerable places and populations and develop policies to aid them.

Explore the Interactive

Solutions must combine usual policy interventions in the education arena, support for local news provision, and access to credible science and health information. Further, they must seek to overcome the more general problems by seeking to incorporate communities in proposed solutions and increasing community-level wellbeing through better health care, including mental health. Despair at the individual level is often linked to community-wide despair, the analogue to high levels of individual happiness having positive spillover effects on others in the same neighborhood or network

We are at a dangerous point in our democratic history and have a very fragmented civil society. There are myriad of reasons and many possible solutions. Yet we cannot solve these problems if a significant proportion of our society is mired in a crisis of despair in which “many are ambivalent about whether they live or die.” Addressing the dangerous and destructive proliferation of misinformation in precisely those places that are most vulnerable to despair is not easy, but not doing so risks even more damage to our civil society, individual and community-level health, and the ability of our young people to live purposeful and meaningful lives in the future.

[reverseenchancia]

## Welcome to Reverse Enchancia: A World Where Magic Takes a Twisted Turn

Step into a realm where shadows dance with light, and familiar faces hold unexpected secrets. This is Reverse Enchancia, an alternate universe within the beloved Sofia the First universe, where the tides have shifted, revealing a captivating twist on the characters and plotlines we know and love.

**Key Points of Divergence:**

* **Violet, Daughter of Cedric:** Princess Vivian undergoes a transformation, becoming Violet, the kind-hearted and innocent daughter of Royal Sorcerer Cedric. Unlike her ambitious father, Violet possesses the magical companion Crackle, a stark contrast to his darker desires.

* **The Amulet's New Guardian:** Instead of Sofia receiving the Amulet of Avalor as a welcome gift, James bestows it upon Violet for her 7th birthday, solidifying their close bond and setting her on a path filled with magical adventures.

* **Cedric's Shadowy Intentions:** Years of perceived mistreatment have fueled Cedric's ambition for power, burning brighter than ever before. However, his love for his daughter, Violet, remains his one true solace, a beacon of light amidst his darkness.

* **Sofia and Miranda:** While Miranda understands the life of a commoner, Sofia's constant use of "Mr. Cedric" grates on the sorcerer's nerves, adding another layer of tension to the royal household.

**What You Can Expect to Find Here:**

* **Father-Daughter Moments:** Witness the unique and heartwarming bond between Cedric and Violet as they navigate their lives in this magical realm. Prepare for humorous interactions and moments of genuine tenderness as Cedric strives to be the best father he can be.

* **Headcanons and Theories:** Delve into the minds and motivations of the characters in this alternate Enchancia. Explore the "what ifs" and delve into potential storylines, relationships, and character development within this intriguing world.

* **Sofia the First Reimagined:** Discover headcanons about the original characters and their relationships in this altered universe. Explore unique ship dynamics and how their stories might unfold differently with Violet as the central figure.

* **"Sofia of the Day" Posts:** Celebrate the spirit of Sofia the First with daily dedications to her journey and the valuable lessons she learned throughout her time as a princess.

* **Original Stories:** Immerse yourself in captivating tales featuring Violet, Cedric, and their interactions with the magical world around them. Witness Violet's journey as she navigates the challenges and responsibilities that come with being the protector of the Amulet of Avalor.

* **Violet and Everyone She Interacts With:** Explore Violet's relationships with James, Amber, Miranda, and other characters in this alternate Enchancia. How will their dynamics change with Violet as the central figure, and how will her presence impact their lives?

**Join us on this enchanting journey through Reverse Enchancia! Share your thoughts, theories, and creative content in the tags!**

A Glimpse into the Unexpected: What Else to Expect on Reverse Enchancia

Beyond the core elements mentioned above, here are some additional things you can expect to find on this blog:

• Artistic Explorations: Witness the magic of Reverse Enchancia come to life through fan art, edits, and other creative mediums. Imagine iconic scenes reimagined with Violet as the central figure, or delve into the depths of Cedric's ambition through visual storytelling.

• Witty Observations and Humor: While exploring the darker aspects of this alternate universe, there will be space for lightheartedness and humor. Expect playful jabs at the original characters and their situations, along with witty observations about the unique dynamics of Reverse Enchancia.

• Community Engagement: This blog thrives on interaction and shared creativity. Feel free to share your own headcanons, theories, and fan creations. Participate in discussions, polls, and other interactive elements to further enrich the experience of exploring this alternate world.

• Challenges and Prompts: Unleash your own creative spark with regular challenges and prompts inspired by Reverse Enchancia. Imagine yourself as a character in this world, write a story about Violet's adventures, or design a new magical creature for this realm.

• Collaborations and Guest Posts: Join us as we collaborate with other Sofia the First fans and creators. Expect guest posts from talented individuals offering their unique perspectives and interpretations of this alternate universe.

This is just a taste of what awaits you on Reverse Enchancia. We invite you to embark on this enchanting journey, explore the unexpected, and share your own creative contributions to this ever-evolving world.

Absolutely! Here's the updated section with a Sofia the First themed twist:

**DMs Are Always Welcome! Ask Us Anything Enchancian!**

We encourage open communication and invite you to engage with us beyond the blog posts. Feel free to send us a DM with your questions, thoughts, or creative ideas related to Reverse Enchancia, all with a touch of Enchancian magic!

* **Enchancian Enigmas:** What are Violet's deepest fears and aspirations? How does she cope with the responsibility of being the Protector of Avalor?

* **Cedric's Conundrums:** What are the specific events that fueled Cedric's dark ambitions? Does he ever show moments of genuine remorse or vulnerability, perhaps during a heartfelt conversation with Baileywick?

* **Unforeseen Fairy Tale Encounters:** How would Violet interact with other magical characters like Clover, Baileywick, or even the Mystic Isles creatures? Imagine a tea party with Baileywick and Clover, or a daring adventure with the Mystic Isles creatures!

* **Unconventional Enchantments:** What if Violet used the Amulet to travel to a different time period in Enchancia's history, like the era of King Hugo? How would she handle such a situation?

* **Anything Enchancian You Can Imagine:** Let your creativity run wild! Ask us anything about Reverse Enchancia, its characters, their relationships, or potential storylines related to the world of Sofia the First.

We believe that your questions and ideas are valuable contributions to this ever-evolving world. So, don't hesitate to reach out and share your Enchancian thoughts with us!

## Why No Cedfia Here: A Stance Against Inappropriate Relationships

While Reverse Enchancia explores various "what ifs," this blog firmly stands against the romanticization of relationships with significant age gaps, particularly those involving an adult and a child like Cedric and Sofia (Cedfia). Here's why:

* **Power Imbalance:** The inherent power dynamic between an adult sorcerer and a young girl creates an inherently unequal and potentially exploitative relationship. Cedric holds a position of authority and magical power, making any romantic connection inherently imbalanced and potentially harmful.

* **Age Gap Concerns:** The significant age difference between Cedric and Sofia makes the idea of a romantic relationship deeply inappropriate. Sofia is still a child, while Cedric is a grown man. Their experiences, maturity levels, and understanding of love are fundamentally different.

* **Focus on Healthy Dynamics:** Reverse Enchancia aims to explore the potential for meaningful relationships built on mutual respect and understanding. While Cedric may care for Sofia in his own way, a romantic connection between them would be a betrayal of this core principle.

Therefore, while we encourage creative exploration within the boundaries of Reverse Enchancia, content that romanticizes or condones Cedfia will not be featured on this blog. We believe in fostering a safe and responsible online space that prioritizes the well-being of all characters, especially young ones like Violet.

[behindthewox]

hello fish, i just wanted to comment on the post regarding wogv and what a lovely community it is. 

i do not agree with that statement, and i know for a fact that there's several other people that shares the same opinion as me since we have talked about this all together. 

the staff is not including all the members in chat. it happens quite often that one is either ignored or made fun of in chat. this behaviour can be seen from staff, management and regular users who has managed to get along well with the graduated staff and management on site. 

i could often see people misusing their position and act like they're better than regular users just because their name is a different colour. this made me leave the site around three months ago, along with my friends as well. 

the MoM and HM are aware of this issue, i'm sure of it since i know people who has pointed it out to them. but the issue here is also that the HM in question has been seen having the same behaviour as i mentioned above. 

it's toxic, and they hide it well. that's all i have to say for that matter.

I hope the staff on wogv sees this and that they can take this into consideration. there's many people that feels this way, and though we want to be a part of your community, we feel unwanted and in the way.

I'm sad to hear this, but it doesn't really surprise me. I've written about the issues that often arise within the age and overall demography we're talking about here, and I've written about the common problem of users feeling left out when larger pre-existing friend groups are involved. It's a common issue and it's not one that can be solved easily, it takes time and work.

I don't think it's due to ill intent (at least I hope not), but merely lack of awareness and human fault. By bringing this to attention you've hopefully put something in motion, making peple more aware of the impact of their behaviour.

ADDED NOTE [2024-05-22]: multiple GV users and staff have informed me that they are working hard on preventing issues like this. The site leaders are taking it seriously and they are doing their best.

My advice:

When you're logged in as a staff member, think of your name colour as wearing a company shirt or work uniform at work. You represent the site. Other users/customers will see that you are part of the site and their overall impression of the site will be influenced by their impression of you. If you ignore them, they will feel ignored and excluded. If you greet them and invite them into the conversation, they will feel welcomed and included.

It's pretty basic stuff, common sense really, but it's very easy to forget if you've never had to keep it in mind. It's easy to forget if you don't draw the parallells between IRL and WoX and underestimate your position and the influence that comes with it. It's easy to forget even when you're fully aware that you need to keep yourself in line and prioritise new users over your old friends in the chat.

I don't blame anyone for forgetting it, or not having realised it in the first place. But now that it's been pointed out to you, I hope you will know to avoid banter and inside jokes in the public chat. I hope you will be more aware of your social interactions and how it's perceived by other users, and I hope that over time you'll learn to do better.