#that in the game but i am especially drawn to fics where the author has their own kind of unique take on it. nuance. etc

[noecoded]

If you could have any Asmo/reader fic what would be the things you would want from it? like an ideal fic would contain what tropes or AUS or situations or whatever

uhmm anything wellwritten that characterizes asmo similar to the way i do ! i rlly like character exploration , both more serious stuff & just sillycute...anything where asmo is a little cunning and toxic and also gets railed into oblivion.anything where hes a vampire. ill write a tag essay about the specifics

[sipsteainanxiety]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

i was tagged by @coopigeoncoo @andypantsx3 @willowser and @namodawrites to do this lil self fic rec game and after finally sitting down to think about it for a very... long... time... i have done it! thank you all for the tag i kiss you each on the forehead and give you a bowl of sliced fruit<3

after looking at all the wips i have in docs right now, i can definitely say that this list would be completely different if i had finished a few of them, but for now this is my ranked list for things i've published already lol

devil's glare — demon!bkg x reader

bakugou katsuki is a powerful demon that you have the pleasure of dating. but when he pisses you off one day, you decide to get back at him in a pretty petty way: drawing a salt circle around you to force him to apologize 

i had THEE most fun writing this one shot LMAO. it was based on a tiktok of all things that i'd found back when i was still on the app pfft. i just loved the idea of bkg being all surly and aggravated that his little human had purposely drawn a salt circle to prevent him from encroaching on their space. and like... him dealing with wanting to idk kiss you so bad but you're trying to teach him a lesson and he's sooooo mad and fuck, he's gonna do whatever he can to get you to comply to him lmao. if i could draw, there's this one scene where you're wearing this like. cute little set of pjs staring up at this big ass demon, wings unfurled threateningly, snarl on his face, arms crossed with a line of salt in between the two of you. like i have a vision. too bad i can't draw it LMFAOO. maybe one day

2. holding out (just for you) — dragon!bkg x reader

in which you find a horrendously injured dragon in a cave and make it your duty to heal him, not knowing that he’s the infamous dragonshifter, bakugo katsuki, who has been cursed to remain trapped in his dragon form forever—unless the spell is broken

this fic... oh boy. i've been working on this fic since mmm 2021 i think? i can't believe it's been a year since the big bang LMFAOO. i also can't blv this shit evolved from being a standalone to having 3 spinoffs and a sequel but well. here we are. complaints aside i really do have fun writing this fic!! i dunno!! i dont think i'd ever read a dragon bkg fic before and i was like fine i'll do it myself and this happened. i added way too much plot and you guys don't even know about half the worldbuilding and shit i have planned for the sequel HAHA. i can't even talk about it bc it would be major spoilers rn rhrsfjhrjfrjrhjg. it's also been giving me such a rough time lately pfft, especially with having to make sure everything lines up for the spinoffs n stuff. im so afraid of publishing ch4 and having to go back and tweak things bc i havent planned out far enough sdkjfsjkdf. i think it just means i'm gonna have to go on a hiatus or smthn and write out all the spinoffs + ch4 at once idk

3. and i give my all (to you) — merman!bkg x reader

you think you bit off more than you could chew when you decided to do your dissertation on ocean acidification, leaving you stranded out in the open ocean. alone. for months. well… maybe you weren’t so alone after all

this is another fic that i've been working on way longer than it's been posted for pfft. i can't blv the first chapter was released over a year ago LMAOOO i am so sorry. i do like this fic tho bc it's one of the easier ones to write and i go back to it sometimes between writing for dragon bkg lol. like i have the chapters all mapped out, all i have to do is sit down and write em. ch2's at abt 3k rn tho and i hit a spot where i'm like oof i dont wanna write these descriptions dfhdkfg it's just a silly goofy story with merbaku and dealing with some of the subtle intricacies of getting to know a mermaid. actually, fun fact, this originally started off as a fic for jotaro from jjba, back when i was in my jjba era. but then i went back to my bkg era and switched it over. i didn't even have to change much LMFAOO jotaro and bkg act the same sometimes. also!! this is the first fic where i'm like... drawing little doodles for each chapter!! and it's so nice but also i'm like damn wtf do i draw for the rest of these chapters.... i'll figure it out ig

4. loving all the parts of you — pro hero!bkg x reader

in which you learn to love all the prickly parts that make up bakugou katsuki

i.. don't think i've thought about this fic for a very, very long time. but i just scrolled thru the masterlist and stuff and i... really liked writing it (when i was focused on it anyways). it's one of my gentler fics tbh. it's more of a character study of bkg, exploring a different aspect of him in each chapter. tbh i need to go through and reread it and make edits so it can better match the writing style i have now, but i rly liked thinking abt what would make bkg tick as a pro and as a person. and tbh, with what i know now of the manga and anime i think i could go very deep with it pfft. also the banner i made for this fic is so cute LOL. it's not high on my priority list rn bc i have other things i wanna work on, but i do hope to return to it one day.

5. forget me not — pro hero!bkg x reader

When you first woke up, you found yourself in a white room, lights blinding you from all directions. A bit disoriented, you squinted and looked around, realizing you were chained to a chair, your arms locked behind you. In front of you was a poster of a man, muscles rippling throughout his body, a spiky mess of ash blond hair nestled on his head, and striking crimson eyes glaring right at you from behind a black mask. In the upper right corner was the name “DYNAMIGHT” in black and orange letters. As you observed the poster, the sound of a P.A. system suddenly rang into existence, the deep, hoarse voice of an unknown person echoing around you. “Your name is [Name] [Surname],” the voice said without emotion, “and you hate the man named Bakugou Katsuki.”

THIS FIC... THIS FCKIN FIC. i have so much i can say about this fic and i am so sorry for the oncoming ramble pfft. firstly, it's both my baby and my number one fucking enemy. like, holy shit i think it gave me the most paralyzing anxiety and bc of this it took me like 3-4 years to finish (apart from being generally busy of course). i started it literally while i was in high school n applying to college, so of course there are aspects of it that i look at now and i'm like mmm don't like that. not to mention there have been so many things that happened in the anime/manga that i wasn't able to add or delve deeper into!! like the war!! bkg's fcking trauma!! midoriya's quirks!! i was an anime only when i first started releasing chapters (and i still am), so i didnt know about the endeavor agency arc or anything so i defaulted to shit with best jeanist and idkidk.

if i could rewrite all of fmn, i think i would. or maybe not all, but a good chunk of it. like i'd condense the first few chapters probably. i also have a different grasp of bkg's characterization now compared to when i was younger lmao. putting bkg in that specific circumstance (iykyk, i wont spoil it) only happened bc of certain outside factors that forced him into that position. which was how i was able to justify it. but... idk. IDK!! this fic had so many things to it that i was not knowledgeable about so i winged a lot of things without doing proper research (i.e. hospitals, police investigations, general bureaucracy and whatnot) and i feel like this has caused certain plot holes that i am not able to detect, but like.... it's been so long already that i'm too lazy to fix it.

i just really wanted to write about having amnesia but... still having this muscle memory and ache of the person you were in love with. that you can fall in love with them all over again. but, jeez, i put the reader through so much that there's so much... trauma and brainwashing and just rhhrhjrkhrhgrkjg. she's a mess and a half!! and this makes it so difficult to read fmn bc she's so frustrating!! but! at the same time idk it was interesting exploring that kind of ptsd and recovery. i think at my core i love writing about truly heartwrenching topics and horror. i rmb i had the most fun writing about reader's nightmares or that one chapter where she was messing around with illusions. actually- one of the things i would change is the reader's fckin quirk and hero name LMAOOOOO what the fuck i made her so op i basically just smashed together dr strange's and wanda's powers for her pfft. i'd also tweak her personality a little, i think.

i digress. anyways. im in the process of editing all of fmn (just like. writing tweaks. changing the phrasing of certain sentences. adding more fluff to descriptions) and i can really see how much my style has evolved lol. like, i am the most happy and proud of the later chapters, where you can really feel certain emotions with bkg and reader. like... the beach scene, or the stakeout scene, or the party scene!! i think i would also add more substance to the investigation and how being a hero is like post-war. the antagonists as well!! there's just so much that could've been built on, but at the same time... i didn't want to go too deep into it bc i was writing an amnesia recovery story.

flaming aside, i am very glad i was able to pull those plot twists successfully LOL. i loved reading people's theories back when i was still updating it, seeing them question things and being like wait a minute... no way... it can't be... it was an era i will never forget pfft. but... because of that expectation i think i was very nervous to reveal specific things or even write the ending bc i didn't know if people would be satisfied lol. fmn was so complicated and for what sdfkjhs. fanfic shouldnt make you this anxious fr and yet there i was. i'm glad im done with it, but at the same time.. i do miss it.

tldr: fmn is the fic that i am the most proud of but also the most insecure LMFAOO. i do eventually want to get to the extra chapters from bkg's pov for it but... idk. i don't wanna even look at it right now sdhfskdfjsf

thank u all for coming to my ted talk B) i'm sorry if u've been tagged alr in this but here we go anyways!! no pressure tags: @earthtooz @call-me-ko @thecatduet422 @boo-kugo @theloveinc <3

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

thursday fic recs!

Hi hi! I’m super late with this (in internet time) because I have been pondering deeply and also the jelly babies have been eating my brain. Tumblr ate my original ask from @fatalfangirl but here are my fic recs, based on this ask meme!

📆 A fic you’d re-read 10 years from now

This is a bit of a cheat for me because I haven’t actually finished reading it, but rebel rebel by BasicBathsheba. I actually had to pause reading it for now (hoping to come back to it during the winter break) because I was getting VERY fixated on it and this little lass’ brain has only so much capacity for both being absorbed in a long fic while also drafting day by day. 

I think rebel rebel is very much going to be for me, in the CO fandom, what After the End by Arabella and Zsenya was for me in the HP fandom (back when it was still on the Sugar Quill!). I’m going to be asking myself, ten years from now, “Wait, was that canon or was that rebel rebel?” 

💯 A fic that makes you think #writergoals

Oh, oh shit, there are too many. Like way too many, especially recently. This is just going to be a love list of current WIPs which I’ve already frothed about at the mouth, no surprises here: 

Stress Management by @whogaveyoupermission. In this fic, there is something so miraculous about the combination of emotional development in the SnowBaz relationship COMBINED with such vivid, concrete sensory, specific and sensual details (Baz’s clothing/hair/make up game in this fic SLAYS me). Just. WOW. There is so much genuine texture and emotional richness drawn into this story that it just seizes you by the throat. 

Like We Had a Clue by @martsonmars. I tend to think of and craft in sentences, or bits of dialogue, or to get caught by certain images, but @martsonmars is INCREDIBLE at writing these long, beautifully developed and structured paragraphs that induce more emotion than an entire volume from Proust’s Remembrance of Things Past. Also @martsonmars is so, so good at having this unique, vivid take on secondary characters (Pippa! Gareth!) that makes the world feel so real. 

A Dangerous Affinity by @larkral. THE WORLD-BUILDING, MY GOD. It’s funny that I love reading spec fic, sci fi, fantasy, etc, but I am actually very bad at world-building; my tendency is to get very granular and focus on relationships w/ spec fic elements on the side. But @larkral does such an amazing job of both setting up the world while hooking emotional claws in you with the characters (THE SLOW BURN! THE NPCs!), and showing how environment & character affect each other so powerfully. I've just gotten so used to the world of Watford that it is very defamiliarizing (in the best way!) to see the Scholomance in such sharp contrast. I just got a copy of A Deadly Education and I am excited to read it eventually so I can be like, “Hoho, I SEE what @larkral did there!!!”  

Tldr:

And a (non-Carry On) answer below the cut!

💘 A fic you couldn't stop reading once you started

I’m going to cheat here again a bit and talk about a fic for a fandom that is not Carry On, LOL.

Fox in the Hole by boomturkey. This is an AU where Hinata (one of the main characters in Haikyuu!!) goes to a different school for volleyball (Inarazaki, with the Miya twins) rather than the one in canon (Karasuno), and it. IS. INCREDIBLE.

Basically the author has taken minor characters and OCs and fleshed them into main characters, built this whole alternate timeline and world, and is so GORGEOUS. It’s the sweetest, slowest of slow burns because so much of it focuses on the richness of a friendship just unfolding in real time, and so many relationships are beautifully developed beyond just the main pairing. (LOL, is it evident how much stuff like this has influenced Jelly Babies??) The entire universe includes four fics and clocks in at a whopping 234,790 words, which is a kind of word-smithery that boggles my mind. 

[dangerous-advantage]

38, 40, 41? :3

[link to ask game]

(sorry for the wait, and thank you so much for the ask!!)

38. Would you ever write commissions?

oh, that would be so fucking fun.

i am perfectly fine with writing for passion, but if i were willing and able, i would absolutely write comissions. not even comissions (though, i will admit, it would be nice to spend hours of time and effort on something that would allow me to feed myself, haha.)

the only reason a balk at this is the same reason i balk at becoming an actual published author. i am very much a perfectionist, and that becomes even more apparent when i'm writing something for someone else.

i'm working on it (i swear, i am), but old habits die hard, and people-pleasing is one that is especially pervasive.

that being said, if i ever got to a point where i felt a little more confident about my writing abilities, and where i had more of an open schedule, i would absolutely write commissions.

i've actually already considered what that would look like-- i think i'd have different categories like how artists do, seperated by things like word count or type. it might be difficult to stick to something like that (especially since i am a very detail-oriented writer), but i can image having a category like 'character creation' (i love making characters/filling out those silly little sheets and forms. i used to have this huge, uber-detailed one that i'd fill out for all my ocs, haha).

i'd probably classify them in things like, 'drabbles' and 'character studies,' vs things like whole-ass oneshots. i can't see myself doing big, multi-chapter projects, just because i'm afraid i'd never be able to finish those, but smaller works with a few chapters, or maybe a series of oneshots might be possible.

i could see myself doing poetry as well-- i don't share a lot of the poetry i write, since it's usually just something for me, but i could think of some really fun ways to implement poetry into commisions, especially since it's a lot more of a 'stricter' medium.

for the time being, i don't see myself opening up commissions like this anytime soon, but like... if there's anybody who might be interested in that, maybe let me know? really it comes down to if anybody would want to commission me to write something for them, which i'm not sure there are many in the market for haha.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

(tw: mentions of blood/gore)

since the only fic i really have to write for at the moment is 'it was futile,' that's probably all i have to work with.

honestly, i would love any and all fanart of my works. like, if anybody ever makes anything based off of/inspired by my work, no matter if you don't like it or think it's bad, hit me up, because that is so fucking flattering to me.

like, as somebody who relies on motivation as a currency, the fact that you could be so inspired by my work that you'd whip out a comic or animatic or whatever is just like '!!!'

it's right up there with long-ass comments, because you know somebody spent time creating something like that because they really, truly did enjoy what you made. the day i get fanart for something i've written is the day that i peak.

to answer the actual question, at the moment, i... don't have anything off the top of my head? sometimes you'll read something and be like, "oh, yeah. this moment-- this moment-- is gonna be drawn." but those are often later on in stories.

i can think of some future scenes that might inspire fanart (i've shared one in particular with you over discord that i am so fucking excited to write), but as it stands, nothing really immediately comes to mind. maybe something from one of my upcoming chapters, but nothing so far.

if i had the artistic ability to do so, one scene that i always thought would be cool is from the first chapter of my fic. (spoilers from this point on, if you hadn't guessed already).

it's where leo has just defeated the kraang beast and is laying beneath it, slowly realizing what just happened while droplets of blood rain down on his face. very angsty, i know, but i feel it's a very pivotal scene for the chapter-- a turning point of sorts-- with a lot of emotions going on beneath the surface. also the image just goes really hard in my brain, haha.

some other scenes might be from chapter... seven, i think? 'the rest of us.' it's the future raph chapter, where he basically just makes the decision to (finally) create the resistance. while i was writing it, i just couldn't get the image out of my head of f!raph's hulking silhouette, standing against the backdrop of the burning city.

something about it-- the fear and terror of the people fleeing the area, looking up to see f!raph push away some sort of debris and step out in a shower of sparks and embers-- i dunno. it just... embodies this ideal of hope that f!raph brings to the apocalypse. also just a cool visual to me.

i guess another one might be the scene where f!donnie switches their headphones. i poured a lot of my own experiences into that one, and how i wish people might have handled things like that with me in the past.

i imagine a comic, maybe just a few panels, with donnie pressing his broken headphones to his head, as the static and noise and everything just gets worse and worse around him. and it follows this progression of everything just getting worse, until suddenly he looks up and sees, y'know, f!donnie.

and then, wordlessly, he gives donnie the other pair of headphones, and then just steps back and lets him have his space. and just... the immediate relief as soon as donnie puts on the new pair of headphones.

i dunno. it's a little silly describing it, but the ideas behind the scene mean a lot to me. i wrote that chapter while i was feeling really overstimulated, and tried to base it off of what i felt might actually help me in that kind of situation. so i guess it's a bit of a personal scene, haha.

just... that idea of not having to justify why you need something, or even what you need, because there's somebody else there who knows exactly what you're going through, and just wants to help. i think it's something a lot of nd people might relate to (though, who knows? /lh)

41. Do you tend to reread fics, or are you a 'one-and-done- type of person?

do... do other people not reread fics? like, not even the really good ones? never?

ok, that's not fair. sometimes, some fics really are just meant to be enjoyed once. an ephemeral experience that's treasured more for the memory of the moment than returning to it. and that's fine, and good!

i'm also not somebody who rereads every fic. usually, especially when following along with a fic i really like, i'll go back and reread chapters while i wait for the next one to come out. then when i'm done, i like to go back and read the whole thing without any breaks, because it's a bit of a different experience.

i'll also often just return to a fic to reread certain scenes or moments that really got to me in my first read-around. there are some fics out there that i do consider good enough for me to revisit and reread in their entirety again and again, like a book.

however, like there are some fics that are best read only once, some fics are meant to be read again and again. details and foreshadowing you might not have noticed the first time will become apparent, and it can be fun looking back and finding all the little details and the 'trails of breadcrumbs,' as someone once described it to me.

[raedear]

I posted 15,428 times in 2022

800 posts created (5%)

14,628 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@spacegirlsgang

@nonbinary-nicolo

@thedreadpiratematt

I tagged 2,694 of my posts in 2022

#nickycore - 161 posts

#yusufcore - 133 posts

#ask me anything my dudes - 119 posts

#the old guard - 33 posts

#chewing glass - 28 posts

#immortal husbands - 26 posts

#kaysanova - 25 posts

#andycore - 23 posts

#bookercore - 23 posts

#first line game - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 90 characters

#🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

look at that face. you know it happened and Nicky just accepted that this is his life now.

329 notes - Posted November 2, 2022

#4

if you've ever wondered if a comment you've left on a fic has reached the author in some way or made a difference to them: a well-timed comment there just improved my mood enough that I didn't quit my job in a fit of pique.

Everyone who's ever left me a comment or a nice tag: I love you with my whole heart and I am kissing you full on the mouth.

343 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

#3

good evening lads. how we feeling.

523 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

#2

So @wickedpact posted this and said this:

And then I saw it an hour ago and wrote this in a complete haze. Hope that's okay, pal! If I still like it later I'll maybe post it on ao3.

(I made Nicky a junior doctor and tripled his shift. This isn't a value judgment of nurses, I just forgot the prompt details)

Bone app the teeth:

It's definitely not safe for him to be driving, but it wasn't safe to work a 37 hour shift either, and here Nicky is, fresh off the ward and so tired he thinks he might crack under the weight of it. Not only that, but behind the wheel, so exhausted that the only thing keeping him awake is the blind terror of hurting another person. He's just five minutes away from home though, and the thought of his warm bed keeps him going. If he can ever make it there.

The light is on above the porch when he pulls into the driveway, and it's like the very sight of it gives Nicky's body the permission it's been waiting for to give up. He can feel it, muscle by muscle, his body crumbling into sleep.

He doesn't have his key, but the spare is behind the little decorative panel as always, and the door swings open before he's even fully registered unlocking it.

From there, it's easy. Shoes kicked off at the door, bag dumped to deal with in the morning, scrubs stripped too. He stumbles into the downstairs bathroom to brush his teeth and use the toilet dressed in just his boxers and his undershirt, and resists the siren call of sitting on the edge of the bath as he brushes his teeth. If he does that, there's no chance he'll get back up again.

It's a herculean effort, but in short order Nicky drags his mostly-unconscious self out of the bathroom and up the stairs (with just one detour to check he actually locked the door behind him when he came in).

As always, the bedroom door is slightly ajar because the door handle creaks loudly enough to wake the dead. Nicky brushes past it, not even noticing, too drawn in by the sight of his bed not ten feet away.

It's not a graceful landing. Even a belly flop would have more dignity. Nicky shoves his way into the bed like a battering ram, and by the time he lands on the mattress he has the duvet up around his nose and Joe's arm wrapped tightly around him. Used to him, Joe just bundles him up against his chest and carries on sleeping.

Nicky's snoring before his head hits the pillow.

—

'Nicky.'

Nicky grumbles and grinds his nose against Joe's chest. No matter what time it is, it's too early. Especially on the heels of such a long shift. Unless the house is on fire, he's not waking up.

'Nicky, you need to wake up.'

'No—' Nicky whines, dragging it out. Joe smells like fresh linens and sleep, and he's so warm. Why would Nicky ever want to—oh no. Oh, oh no.

Nicky wakes up completely, the realisation of where he is and what he's done slipping down his spine like a block of ice, freezing him as it goes.

Joe's on his back with Nicky's head on his chest, and Nicky is so embarrassed he thinks he might actually burst into flames.

Very slowly, very carefully, all the time wishing he was dreaming, Nicky raises his head to meet Joe's eyes.

Joe's bleary, confused, beautiful eyes.

'I am so sorry,' says Nicky slowly when the silence stretches on too long. 'I-I don't. I'm sorry.'

Joe's hands are on the small of his back, which is the only thing stopping Nicky from leaping out of the bed.

'When did you get here?' asks Joe, raspy with sleep. He's always looked like a surprised puppy first thing in the morning. Nicky's chest hurts.

'I don't know,' answers Nicky, honestly. 'I don't even remember coming here.'

'Nicky,' says Joe, in that way he always did when this happened before, Nicky, exhausted on the heels of some too-long shift, doing something that's normal when you're well-rested and dangerous when you're not. Like driving. Or cooking. Or accidentally turning up at your ex-boyfriend's house, a full week after you broke up with him.

Nicky shrugs, awkward and humiliated, and sits up completely. Joe's hands are slow to slip off his back.

'I'm sorry,' he says again. Joe sits up too, slouching against the headboard and looking at Nicky like he's a puzzle to be solved. 'I was just…tired. And I wanted to go home. I wasn't thinking.'

'Your flat is ten minutes closer to the hospital than here,' Joe says, even and clear. Nicky cringes.

'Yes,' he says, slowly, feeling out where he can possibly go from here to explain why he broke into his ex-boyfriend's house sometime in the night and got into bed with him. 'That is…I…well.'

See the full post

534 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

569 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bettsfic]

Hi betts! I hope you’re doing alright and that your semester is wrapping up smoothly. I have a question about genre, I guess? I’ll preface this with the fact that I am not a writer or lit person, but just an enthusiastic reader. But as I’ve been on Tumblr and TikTok (in this case BookTok), I’ve noticed that it’s a lot of the same kinds of books that people get obsessed over. Largely, SFF written by women and often in “new adult.” I’m thinking of V. E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, etc. I’ve read a number of these books and enjoyed some of them quite a lot, but they’ve never captivated me the way they do some. That’s fine, people have different tastes. But after being served yet another TikTok about this same category of book, I kinda realized that for some reason they just don’t feel that adult to me. Which is weird because they typically deal with very adult themes. Some are super sexual or violent and the like, but the way they’re written doesn’t feel mature to me. Even The Poppy Wars, which is very adult, falls into this category for me (I did enjoy this one, though). I’ve tried to interrogate this for bias, especially since I know a lot of people like them because they are written by women, (mostly) feature more diversity, and have large female audiences. But then I think about which books did feel adult, but fall in similar genres: N. K. Jesimin and Ursula Le Guin come to mind (even her youth fiction feels more adult to me). So I guess I’m curious what you feel makes a writing style more mature versus simply the content? Why is it that SFF, while often depicting adult events, doesn’t come across as mature? I guess my frustration is that it’s one of my favorite genres, but the recommendations I’m getting across many folks just...isn’t the SFF I want. How does one distinguish between these? Idk if I’ve expressed this well and I definitely am not trying to judge people. I’m just looking for a certain atmosphere in my reading that I find rarely.

i’m so excited i have an answer to this. so first i want to say, i experience this also and it’s why i struggle to get through a lot of books. it’s why i love the secret history but couldn’t get twenty pages into if we were villains, even though everyone told me they had a lot in common. even if the description of a book is compelling and the story is very much to my taste, and even if the writing is totally competent, i’ve found that sometimes there’s just something lacking that makes me set a book down and never pick it back up. 

i was thrilled to find there’s term for this: the implied author.

the implied author was coined by wayne c. booth in his book the rhetoric of fiction which, while dense, is a really fantastic read (if you’ve been keeping up with my newsletter you know how feral i am for this book). as a blanket definition, the implied author is the space that exists between the narrator and the writer. when you read something, you can’t make any factual conclusions about the writer (the author is dead and all that), but the narration often tips you off to the idea that the consciousness behind the writing is wiser and knows more than the narrator. 

that’s a very condensed version of booth’s definition, which takes up like 40 pages. here forward are some conclusions i’ve drawn based on it. 

when the space between the narrator and implied author is narrow, some of us as readers tend to get bored pretty quickly. it’s what you’re referring to as maturity. however, when that space is wide, when it’s clear that the implied author is much, much bigger than the narration, that’s when i’m willing to sink my teeth into something. the wider that distance, the more i’m happy to ignore things like syntactical clumsiness or poor grammar. i would follow a good implied author into hell. 

for example, i could write a story from the point of view of a violent abuser. if you were to read it, you wouldn’t be able to say for certain that i, the writer, was not a violent abuser also. but you would be able to tell via the implied author whether or not there is an awareness of the abuse, whether it’s being written with intentionality. not morality, mind you, but artistic purpose. 

the implied author has an idiosyncratic relationship to the reader. sometimes depending on the complexity of the work and the critical reading skills of the reader, the presence of the implied author can be invisible. this is the catalyst, imo, to a significant amount of the present morality discourse. many (if not all) purity officers and antis don’t have the reading skills to be able to see the implied author, or that the moral trespasses that occur in fiction are written intentionally and for a purpose. they believe that anything depicted in fiction is advocating for or promoting that which it’s depicting. 

lolita is kind of the ultimate classic example of the inability of some readers to see the implied author. nabokov even has a fictional preface from the pov of a scholar doing research, flat-out telling us that humbert is a bad guy and Do Not Trust Him. and yet, lolita has been misinterpreted and vilified for decades now.

in that same vein, the implied author is the reason that some stories put a bad taste in our mouths. it’s how we reach the conclusion that a story is racist or sexist or homophobic outside the literal depictions of racism, sexism, and homophobia. how can you witness racism taking place in a story and know that it’s speaking to the experience of racism and not advocating for racism? that’s the presence of the implied author. sometimes, though, you can’t tell. sometimes a writer tries to speak to the experience of something and fails at making clear their own awareness. or sometimes, they’re just not aware at all. 

in fanfiction, the implied author takes place, in part, in the tags. i remember stumbling upon a fic written by a purity officer which depicted an extremely unhealthy, non-negotiated power dynamic. and none of it was tagged. i had no evidence the author was aware that they were even writing something “problematic.” obviously i support their right to depict whatever kind of relationship they want for whatever reason they want, but i did find it a bit off-putting, that this person who was a known harasser in fandom had no seeming understanding that they were writing the very kind of fic they were rallying against.

but, you know, my hands aren’t clean either. until the MFA, i was a very poor reader. for example, in 2010 i read the hunger games for the first time. in 2020 i re-read the series on my kindle, where all my annotations from 2010 had been saved, and so i got to see all my glaring misinterpretations of the text. every time katniss has to get dolled up in the capitol and made beautiful, i left a note like “ugh,” because i thought all depictions of performative femininity were Bad. even though thg is a YA book and i was an honors student in college, i was still unable to see that katniss’s beautifying was commentary on consumerism. i was oblivious to collins’ implied author, the presence in the book that is shaking you by the shoulders and going, THIS IS WHAT’S WRONG WITH SOCIETY. 

but sometimes, like in your case, the opposite situation occurs: you the reader are wider than the implied author, and so some books have little to offer you in terms of depth or insight into the human experience. i don’t mean that to sound pretentious or anything; what i mean is, we all read at different skill levels and for different reasons, and we all get different things out of the stories we read. we’re all at different places in our reading lives, and we all have room to grow.

i hope i explained this clearly enough! hopefully one day i’ll be able to write a formal essay on this, because booth wrote about it in the 60s and a lot has happened in fiction since then. 

[hogwartsfirebolt]

Hello everyone! I’m back for my (omg time flies) third yearly drarry rec list, in which I share with you my 30 favorite drarry fics I read in the year, divided in three parts. What a year 2020 was. It was challenging, scary and confusing, and it was also an amazing reading year for me, I read so, so much more than I ever had before, and I’m really excited to share these masterpieces with you! The banner art is by @dragontamerdame who is one of my favorite artists and was kind enough to let me use this beautiful piece, which you can (and totally should) reblog right here. Now, with nothing else to add and in no particular order, here’s my

FAVORITE FICS I READ IN 2020 PART ONE

1. Who we are in the shadows - @quicksilvermaid - 100k - E - What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost. But nothing is exactly as it seems. Not even Harry himself. And as he gets drawn further and further into Malfoy's world of honour and deception he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew—about his childhood nemesis, the Ministry job he misses so much, and most of all, about himself. What happens when you’re forced to see that you were wrong?

THIS FIC!!! It was the first one I read in 2020, and it immediately became my favorite fic of the entire year, and one of my favorites of all time. I have since read it two more times, the entire 100k of it. There are absolutely no words to describe how amazing it is, how much it floored me to read their characterizations, their jobs and the roads life took them on to end up where they end up, the connection between them in a time when they don’t even know how to relate to anyone, their sorrow and struggles which, despite being so rooted in the magical world, are painfully human, just... wow. It’s a masterpiece. It changed the way I view their characters, forever, and I suspect I will read it many, many more times in the years to come. It’s that kind of story. If for whatever reason you haven’t read it, this is your sign to take that chance and embark on this amazing journey. 

2. Every Kingdom - @thistle-verse - 7k - E - Every kingdom needs a prince. Every prince needs a good and useful knight. Draco and Harry play their parts and renegotiate some borders while they’re at it.

So, so lovely. Even though I don’t read them very often, alternate universes fascinate me so much, and I am in awe of the author for being able to pack so, so much story, so neatly into 7k words. This features a princely, lonesome Draco, a charming, golden Harry, and a blossoming love that could change everything. It’s beautiful, and I recommend it deeply.

3. The Bucket List - GallaPlacidia - 32k - Draco will die in six months if he can't get Harry Potter to fall in love with him. Since that's not going to happen, he might as well spend his last days working through his Bucket List. Tap-dancing lessons? Rock climbing? Poetry-writing? Threesomes? Cocaine? Getting to know his adorable cousin, Teddy Lupin? Draco will try them all! Feat. Cheerily pessimistic Draco, devoted bitch queen Pansy Parkinson, and a Harry who can't help but notice that something seems DIFFERENT about Draco, these days.

I’m positive that many, many of us got acquainted with GallaPlacidia’s writing this year, and I, too, fell in love with it. This story aches in the most beautiful of ways, the humor happens to be somehow light in such a difficult circumstance that it ends up hurting when you laugh, it hurts when everything is right because it’s also wrong, it aches when it’s supposed to be a happy moment and feels tender and sweet when it’s not. I can’t even imagine the challenge of writing this kind of story, and they pulled it off beautifully. It’s a lovely story, one you will take with you long after you finish it, and, personally, I think it’s a great introduction to the author’s writing. 

4. halcyon days - @the-starryknight - 1.3k - T - Sleepy mornings caught while the sun rises are reserved for silly word games and soft touches and feelings.

Oh my god, the amount of tenderness in such a low wordcount made me weak in the knees. I almost couldn’t take it. Being able to convey such a deep emotional connection in a short story seems like such a daunting task, and the author makes it seem almost effortless. I guarantee that this will make you bring your hands to your chest and sigh with how lovely it is. Reading it will be the best ten minutes of your day. 

5. Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon - @drarrytrash - 37k - E - According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot. Draco is a secret werewolf and Harry is doing his best and they've got criminals to catch, darn it.

Reading this, I found myself laughing out loud, nodding profusely with how freaking spot on the characterizations are. The dialogue is amazing, so hilarious and real and Harry’s inner monologue is so, so him. I love everything about this story. I have a soft spot for werewolf fic, and this one hit everything I love about it, the case is interesting and engaging, the incidental characters, the OCs, Ron and Hermione, everyone and everything is absolutely perfect and I had an absolute blast reading it. You HAVE to read this and see for yourself what I’m talking about. 

6. Sex Ed for Aurors - curiouslyfic - 8k - M - Some things, you need to learn on the job.

Oh my god this is so freaking good. The premise is, basically, that Harry is accidentally doused with a lust potion while in the vicinity of Draco, and suddenly wants him more than anything. I loved this take on that trope, we’re in Harry’s head, and it’s absolutely hilarious and endearing to experience the near childish glee he feels whenever Draco looks his way, when he smiles, when he feels he’s made him happy, meanwhile Draco and Ron are horrified and doing whatever they can to correct it. This is so funny and such a good time, I can’t recommend it enough! While you’re at it, you should definitely read megyal’s remix of this, which is also a blast. 

7. plasticine porters with looking-glass ties - @bonesliketambourines - 15K - E - Lately, Harry thinks things don’t seem the same between him and Draco. His head is in the clouds when he thinks about what their relationship is now, and where it might be headed—he’s happy with their friendship, but he wants something else. A potions accident over a lunchtime visit to Draco’s lab (what does he get up to in there, anyway?) changes things, though, and accelerates their relationship faster than either of them had ever expected. How are they going to get through this new development together?

Atmospheric, beautifully-written and delicious. Their relationship is tender, just on the edge of something more, when they’re forced to quarantine together and face the effects of a potion that makes them see and feel things differently, which makes for the most intense, visual, gorgeous sex scene I think I’ve ever read. It’s just absolutely phenomenal. 

8. i wake up falling - warmfoothills - 9k - M - Draco’s always leaving, one way or another. Harry’s usually 240 thousand miles too late.

In trying to come up with a way to summarize this story, I’m feeling the overwhelming urge to cry again, just like I did when I read it. It’s just so, so, beautiful, every single word of it aches in the best way, the longing feels deeply authentic and just, the setting and the jobs and everything is so unique and gorgeous. Every single work by this author is beyond beautiful, but especially this one is incredibly close to my heart and I think everyone should read it. It’s a gem. 

9. In Every Universe - @skeptiquewrites - 27k - M - They sent Professor Harry Potter to search for Unspeakable Draco Malfoy. Draco has stolen a Firebird, an experimental magical device from the Department of Mysteries that lets you enter parallel universes as yourself. As Harry traverses from universe to universe, he begins to think Draco might be the one searching for him. A story about whether knowing what's possible makes it possible.

Stories where the characters find themselves somehow hopping from one reality to another are always so, so fascinating to me, and this one is incredibly creative and well-written, so entertaining all around. The mystery of it kept me on my toes, and every single reality was a joy to read. 10/10

10. Life goes not backward - @shealwaysreads - 8k - T - Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots. Leaving one life behind isn’t always a sacrifice, and sometimes the greatest good comes from embracing the people you love.

My god, there are not enough words to describe how much this story means to me, how beautiful it is, how every single time I’ve read it, I’ve cried. Bella has undoubtedly become one of my absolute favorite writers in fandom. She has such a way with words, there is not one of her stories that hasn’t touched me, that doesn’t feel like an actual, full-length novel no matter the word count. I read so many of them this year, so many of the masterpieces she’s gifted us, but this one especially is so tender, so dear, that I ended up choosing it as my favorite of hers this year. Harry’s charactertization, the unbelievable warmth of their relationship, absolutely everything about this is gorgeous. Go read it, right now, and then binge all her other works!! You won’t regret it.

---------------------------------

Each of these fics is incredibly close to my heart and I enjoyed them immensely. In the midst of everything changing, I really found comfort and solace in the amazing works of the people of this fandom. I hope they give you the same amount of warmth and comfort they gave me, and I’m ALWAYS here to gush about any of them ❤️ Happy New Year! 

[yoificfinder]

Hey love, hope you are doing well ✨ I was wondering if you have any recommendations regarding side characters (personality analysis, friendship etc.) I absolutely adore all the side characters in the YOIverse however there are not many fics revolving around them so if you know any good ones, it'd be great!! Thank you so much in advance 💟

Hey dear nonnie! This took a long time, I hope you're still here. I combed through ao3 to find fics I remember that fit your request and discovered new gems along the way! Many of these are not popular/underrated but I guarantee that they're good reads so I hope you (and anyone else who finds this) enjoy! If only for that reason alone, I really hope this rec list becomes one of the most popular posts in this blog (I would really appreciate a reblog!) so these fics/authors can receive more love! Plus this is the most exhaustive and time-consuming rec list I've made so far (but I still feel that I missed a lot so other recs are welcome!).

Without further ado, here are some great YOI side-characters' stories in canonverse:

(Don't) Give A Damn by @forochel [T, 9K]

Mari, through the years.

an open door by tripcyclone [G, 8K]

Lilia never wanted children of her own, but caring for Victor gives her a glimpse into the life she chose to pass by.

Beautiful In Knowing by @val-creative [T, 1K]

Sara knew she was a girl, even if nobody else did or believed her.

She ordered Michele to call her "Lady Sara" from now on. He would roll his eyes and grumble, but never attempt to misgender her. She liked "Sara" — it meant "lady, princess, noblewoman". And she would never go back to her deadname.

by any other name by iguanastevens [T, 2K]

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Yuri's life as told by the names he's given; or, how Yuri's names direct his life.

Feathers on the Ice by Kiranokira / @kyashin [E, 79K]

After dinner and a bath and quality hamster time, snuggled in bed cocooned within his eight entirely necessary pillows, Phichit indulges himself and investigates Seung-gil's hashtag. There isn’t much from Seung-gil himself, but Seung-gil's fans are many and dedicated. Amid the photos of Seung-gil at competitions or practicing and the few candid shots of Seung-gil in airports or out on the streets of Seoul, there’s a very recent professional video uploaded by user andjoy_studio.

Phichit clicks on it, and his life changes.

fermata by perbe [T, 3K]

When one is patchwork of growth plates and bruises, it is inevitable that one must admire boys with words a size too big, as if they know down to their bones that they are meant for something greater.

I used to burn for you, Otabek thinks.

(A character study on Otabek's reaction to his placement at the Grand Prix Finals.)

Go On Ahead by @kiaronna [G, 2K]

Sour, grouchy Yakov didn’t understand sparkly purple skate outfits or wanting to eat your weight in sweets or having crushes on boys.

But Viktor did.

Gossips, Chinese whispers and misunderstandings by womanroaring [M, 8K]

Series of short stories relating to how certain (often perfectly innocent) scenes in Yuri On Ice would have looked from the outside. And just the gossip and stuff that would have surrounded them.

I am Yuri Plisetsky by rinsled05 / @dreaming-fireflies [M, 1K]

Who is Yuri Plisetsky?

He's not Agape.

Not a “prima donna” ballerina.

And definitely no Russian fairy.

No, Yuri Plisetsky is an angry, loud, in-your-face, Russian tiger who will take to the ice and give you a brilliant gold-worthy performance you will never forget.

... a piece on Yuri's rationale for skating to "Welcome to the Madness". Rated for the actual foul-mouthed language in the story itself, courtesy of one Yuri Plisetsky.

if friends were flowers i'd pick you by windupbirdgirl / @tanpopori [G, 4K]

Yuuko thinks of Yuuri’s skating, beautiful and flawed. She thinks of Yuuri sitting with the girls instead of the other boys at practice. She thinks of Yuuri and Viktor, the posters of him he asks her to buy him for birthdays. The posters he wouldn't ask anyone else to buy.

“Oh, Yuuri.” She bites her nails, ruining the carefully applied polish. She doesn’t care at all.

Sitting in that tiny bedroom, she makes a big decision.

if love is king, who wears the crown by @crollalanzaa [G, 1K]

“Second is seen as nothing,” Christophe had derided.

“But that moment you glide onto the ice, that hush of the audience, and that expectation, isn’t that worth something?”

“You speak as if you know. You used to skate?"

Past tense. It still stung, even if it was expected.

Minako knows exactly what it's like to be at the top of your game, and she remembers the descent just as clearly.

if she wants me by renaissance [G, 6K]

Hiroko and Minako, then and now.

kagura by night by seventhstar / @pencilwalla [T, 1K]

The world around her is like the mountains.

A mortal lifespan is narrow; mortals watch the mountain’s unchanging faces, unravaged by the same measure of time that takes a human from dust to dust, and think them immortal in comparison. But stone erodes, just as flesh decays. It just takes longer.

If she watches long enough, everything changes. Languages drift until all the words she learned before are meaningless. Technology changes until she ceases to believe in magic because human ingenuity is more infinite than the stars. What is beautiful, what is polite, what is wrong, what is right—time, given its way, reshapes all.

But Minako’s body remains as it has always been. That’s why she loves to dance, she supposes; it’s the one thing time cannot take from her.

Katsudon by @azriona [G, 8K]

Hiroko doesn’t need to see to coat pork cutlets in egg and panko. She has made this dish for her family for over thirty years; she’ll make it another thirty, if she’s lucky.

Now she makes it for Yuuri and Victor as they fly home from Barcelona, with silver around their necks and gold around their fingers.

keep me steady as we go by strikinglight [G, 3K]

When Isabella stood and crossed the room to where he sat she saw her notebook open in his lap, turned to the last page of their to-do list, all but three items crossed off with less than a month to the wedding date. License. Ceremony. Everything after. She saw the angle of his gaze, too, not on the words but straight ahead, staring blank and glassy and brittle into some invisible place she still wasn’t sure she could follow him to, yet. And yet she had been the one who’d promised to try—and to keep promising, forever and forever.

Kooks by BoxWineConfessions [G, 3K]

Mari clasps her right hand across her left hand and rests them both atop her growing stomach. “I guess you’re just lucky that your father, I mean your other father, my brother-“ Mari giggles. “God, it all sounds so weird, doesn’t it? Do you care? Do you care that we’re all so fucked up and we don’t care at all?” Mari laughs again. It’s all she can do when she hurts this much, and wants a cigarette this much, but can’t stop smiling despite the fact that her body seems to hate her so much. “Well he means the world to me. That’s why I have you.”

Living in the Maybe by @adrianners [T, 6K]

It wasn’t hard to spot a 180cm platinum blond in Fukuoka International Airport. Especially when he was the only person wearing sunglasses. Indoors. At night.

Mari picks Viktor up at the airport when he returns from Moscow. Without Yuuri there to play his usual role of interpreter, they learn to communicate around their linguistic, cultural, and personal barriers.

post tenebras lux by @alykapediaaa [T, 1K]

“Which skater would you say has inspired your skating the most?”

The question catches him unaware, so much so that he’s rendered speechless. It’s only when he sees Yakov lean towards the microphone to answer in his stead that Yuri blurts out the first name that comes to mind.

“Yuuri Katsuki.”

The Best Men by @kiaronna [Not Rated, 5K]

Just as Viktor lives to surprise, Christophe Giacometti lives to scandalize, to sensationalize. But innocent little Phichit Chulanont is proving to be an impossible victim.

OR: where Christophe tries very hard to get under one Thai skater’s skin, and instead finds himself all over the younger skater’s Instagram feed and wrapped around his finger.

the city of bridges by @stammiviktor [T, 5K]

After three flights, a train ride, and dinner at the Katsukis' table, Yakov finally sees Hasetsu through Viktor's eyes.

The First Cut by BoxWineConfessions [E, 27K]

People made divorce seem like this long drawn out and ugly process, but it really wasn’t. He bought the town home for Isabella as a gift, and so it was hers. The flat down town would go to him, as it was closer to the rink. They paid off her medical school loans last fall, so that was done too. He had a few cars, which she unanimously agreed were his to keep, so long as she could keep her Corvette. She changed her vanity plate from Dr. Leroy to Dr. Yang. He saw it parked out front of the courthouse.

trials of Coach Yakov series by @naraht [T and M, 40K]

Summaries of fics in the series:

1. Forced to share a bed with Victor at the Sochi Grand Prix Final, Yakov learns more than he wants to know.

2. Yakov attempts to prepare Yuri for his transition to Seniors. Yuri doesn't care to listen.

3. No sex while you're competing – this is Yakov's rule. His athletes often have other ideas.

4. In 1980, Yakov Feltsman is the USSR's skating hero. At a dull official reception, he defends his loyalty to the motherland – and makes the acquaintance of a beautiful young dancer from the Bolshoi.

5. In which both Victor and Yakov have to remake themselves – Victor after his first Olympic gold and Yakov after his divorce.

Tz'ror by athoroughlybakedpotato [T, 3K]

Yakov changes much slower than the times do, but steadiness is not always a bad thing.

---

ETA - Other people's rec:

curtain of lies by @mandolinearts

JJ's Bizarre Adventure by Falahime

Landscapes of Spring and Summer by @myyoitrashblog

The Melancholy of Georgi Popovich by Falahime

+ a lot more recs on this reblog!!

Thanks for the rec, @vilchen, @genuine-firefly, @adrianners, and @kaleidodreams! ❤

[weathergirl8]

Pranks and Tempers (3/3)

I thought about adding more to this, but for now I like where it ended. Enjoy! I’m in college and working fulltime, but trying to work on a sequel to my story Always the Hero. I’ve also got another disaster angsty Alan and Gordon fic in the back burner that hopefully some day I’ll finish.

Part 1 | Part 2

~~~~~~~~~

Jeff sat quietly at his desk as he tried to process the morning’s events. Running an exasperated hand over his face, he composed himself. Turning to the computer monitor, he initiated a line with Thunderbird 5.

“Hey, Dad,” John’s cheerful image appeared upon the screen before him. “A little early for our noon update, aren’t we?” the blonde inquired as he noticed it was barely eleven o’clock in the morning Tracy Island time.

Jeff chuckled. “Got anything to report?”

“Not much,” the astronaut informed. “There’s a typhoon off the coast of the Philippines heading for the open ocean, and a 2.1 magnitude earthquake hit Japan, but the authorities have it under control.”

“Looks like our quiet streak continues for now,” Jeff acknowledged.

“It does!” John smiled, watching his father. Hidden lines of worry were etched upon the patriarch’s face. “This isn’t just a formal call, is it, Dad?”

Jeff smirked at his always insightful second born. “No, John. It isn’t.”

“What happened?” John frowned.

Jeff sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time this morning. “Gordon is on medical leave for the next twenty-four hours at least, and then light duty for a few days after.”

“Is he okay?”

“He will be,” Jeff reassured as he met John’s concerned features. “He has a mild concussion. He and Alan got hurt during an altercation.”

“Altercation?” John asked, confused. “Between each other?”

“I’m afraid I don’t have all the facts yet, only Scott’s account of things,” Jeff explained. “It appears Gordon pulled a prank on your older brother, and as you can imagine, it wasn’t well received.”

John gave his father a curious look. “What’d the little creep do this time?”

“Paint in the showerhead,” Jeff chuckled, unable to hide his amusement.

“My new paint I just ordered, I might add,” Virgil’s voice suddenly echoed as he walked up, joining them.

John shook his head, picturing the image. “Let me guess, it was yellow?” the blonde said, putting a hand to his face.

“How’d you know?” Virgil questioned from behind Jeff.

“While you were heading to the cockpit on the last call, Gordon was securing the equipment. I might’ve allowed him to vent about Scott’s nit-picking on the previous rescue. He was pretty adamant about making our older brother pay for his remarks about Four and his criticizing.”

Virgil groaned. “Of course, he was.”

“So, what happened, and how did Alan get involved?” John asked, still trying to understand the situation.

“Well, as Dad had Scott’s point of view, I got Alan’s,” Virgil said, putting a hand on his father’s chair. “Alan told me Scott confronted Gordon right outside his bedroom. When Alan opened his door to see what was going on, Scott started in on the two of them. Words were said, and Scott shoved the two of them on his way to tell Dad. Both were standing on the ledge of the landing and lost their balance. Gordo smacked his head on the old armoire. Alan hit his back on the edge of the other table and has some cuts and scrapes from a glass vase that broke.”

“Wow,” John whistled, amazed. “That definitely could’ve gone better. How are Scott and Alan?”

“I had to separate them,” Jeff said. “Both were ready to go at each other.”

“They’re too much alike,” John replied, rubbing his neck.

Jeff nodded in agreement. “I’m giving everyone a moment to step back, and then we will talk about what happened. You boys know I don’t like violence. This can’t happen again.”

“Do you want me to talk to Scott?” Virgil asked, looking down at his father.

“No,” Jeff shook his head. “Let’s just let them be for now. Both Scott and Alan do better if you just give them space to cool down.”

“Gordon say anything to you, Virg?” John wondered.

“Not much. Gordy’s feeling pretty guilty, and dare I say stupid at the moment,” Virgil answered honestly.

“Never a dull moment around here is there?” John said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Never,” Jeff exhaled, grinning.

“This too shall pass, Dad,” Virgil said, squeezing their father’s shoulder.

“It’s been a rough week and a half of tough rescues. Tensions are just high. These last few days have been our first real break in some time. Something was bound to happen,” John said. “We’ll be laughing about this by next week.”

Jeff allowed a small smile to graze his features, grateful for their words. “I can only hope.”

-TB-  

Alan walked along the beach, taking in the warm late afternoon breeze as he was making every effort to distract his mind. He watched each wave roll toward the shoreline, it’s sound relaxing him.

As he strolled along the sand, he felt his foot land on a rock. Pausing, he went to reach for it but stopped as he looked at his bandaged hands. Groaning in annoyance, he kicked the object instead, knowing Virgil wouldn’t be happy with him if he got his hands infected with sand.

Noticing he was approaching the path that led back to the house, the youngest Tracy followed it. He’d spent a solid hour wandering the island, and the blonde knew that if he didn’t return soon, Virgil would send a search party.

It had taken some coaxing and sneaking to get his older brother to allow him out of the house. Alan knew Virgil was just overcautious and concerned. Whenever the medic went into doctor mode, nothing was safe from scrutiny. Alan loved his brother for caring, but as he calmly tried to explain, his injuries were superficial. Just a bruise on his back and a few small deep cuts on his hands and knees. He wasn’t dying anytime soon, and a walk around the beach wouldn’t hurt anyone.

He was fine.

Gordon was the one Virgil needed to fuss over. Alan had only been allowed to see Gordon once since the early morning events, and it frustrated him beyond words. It was no secret how close he was to the swimmer of the family, and Gordon was the main person he went to when he needed to vent. Unfortunately, his person was off-limits right now as the ginger’s aching head needed some peace and quiet.

Sure, he could’ve reached out to John as a substitute. John was a great listener and generally had a way with words. An asset the youngest Tracy had utilized often while he had been away at school. Today, Alan didn’t feel like troubling John with his issues. He didn’t need another brother getting drawn into it.

Walking up the steps that led to the pool deck, Alan froze as he came face to face with his eldest brother. The pair stared at one another, unsure who should speak first. Alan made a quick decision and moved to side-step Scott, intent on heading inside without a word.

“Alan, wait,” Scott pleaded.

“Not now, Scott.”

“Alan, would you just quit and listen for once?” Scott cried in frustration.

Alan stopped and immediately turned around. “I’m the one that needs to listen?” the youngest scoffed. “That’s really rich, Scott. Especially coming from you on today of all days.”

“I said I was sorry. What more do you want from me? It’s not like I did it on purpose!”

“No, but it happened didn’t it,” Alan muttered.

“If you two would just grow up and quit your stupid immature games, maybe it wouldn’t have,” Scott fumed.

Alan walked toward his oldest brother, meeting him head-on. “Don’t tell me I’m immature and need to grow up, when after today you are no better. I might get angry and blow up, but I’ve NEVER hurt anyone.” Alan clenched his fists in an effort to keep himself in check, backing away marginally from Scott. “You always do this, Scott! You’ve always made it us against you. Gordon and I labeled just too young and immature to ever understand or be on your level when something doesn’t go your way. I’ve been putting up with it for years, and I’m done!” Alan yelled.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Scott seethed.

“It means I’m sick of it! I can’t speak for Gordon, but something has to give. All I’ve ever wanted is to be seen as your equal and damn it all if I haven’t tried, Scott. I’m definitely not perfect, and I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, but you can’t always hold them over my head. I might be the youngest, but I’m not an idiot. I’m not a kid anymore, and you can’t keep treating me like I am.”

Scott remained silent as he took in his baby brother’s words. Relaxing his body, he ran a weary hand over his face. “Is that what you really think? That I think so little of you?”

“Why not?” Alan scoffed. “Ever since I returned from college, you’ve made it hard not to see otherwise. Almost every decision I’ve made on a mission you’ve shot down, rebuked, or called crazy. For the record, there’s more than one solution to a problem. I might not always be right, but haven’t I earned the right to at least be heard?”

“Does Gordon feel the same way?” Scott asked quietly.

Alan shrugged. “I can’t say for certain, but he’s vented to me after a few calls when I was at Harvard.” Alan watched his older brother as Scott took in his words. “Look, Scott. I’m not trying to make you feel like an ass, but I’m just stating facts. You tell me I need to listen more, but so do you. You accused me of being apart of Gordon’s prank this morning when I didn’t have a single hand in it. You wouldn’t even let me get a word in. You had your mind made up, and that was it. What happened after that was well…” Alan paused as he fiddled with the bandages on his hands. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt Gordo and me, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I feel betrayed.”

“I feel horrible, Alan. I would never intentionally hurt one of you, but it appears I’ve been doing just that for a while,” Scott said solemnly. “Allie, I had no idea you felt that way. I’ve been an idiot.”

Alan looked up at Scott in shock. “Scott…”

“No, Al, I have,” Scott started, meeting Alan’s eyes. “You’re right, this is all my fault, and I need to listen more. I need to step back. It’s not easy...”

“Believe me, I know how hard it can be,” Alan smirked.

“When did you get so wise?” Scott said with a suspicious stare.

“I’ve always been, you guys just never let me show it,” Alan chuckled.

Scott studied his baby brother’s features once more. Closing the gap between them, he placed a hand along Alan’s left shoulder. “Allie, I guess it boils down to the fact that it’s hard for me to accept that you are as old as you are. That you’ve become an adult and that Gordon is an adult.”

“Sometimes,” Alan laughed.

“Yeah, sometimes,” Scott smirked, returning the laugh. “To me, you’ll both always be my kid brothers - especially you, Allie. I just want to protect you at all costs, and in doing so, I lose sight of what’s standing right in front of me. It’s my job as field commander to make sure all of you make it home from a rescue, and sometimes that blinds me. I’ll work on it, okay? It’s not going to be easy, but I’ll try. Deal?”

Alan smiled. “Deal.”

“Come here,” Scott said as he enveloped Alan in a hug. “Thanks for giving me a kick in the pants and sorry for hurting you guys.”

“It’s okay, Scooter,” Alan replied, returning the hug.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” the brunette asked, as he pulled Alan away to get a good look at him. “Dad forced me out before I saw the rest of the damage I inflicted.”

“It’s nothing but a raised bruise that Virgil is making a thing out of,” Alan laughed. “I’ll live.”

Scott scowled. “Hands?”

“Again, I’ll be fine,” Alan said, swatting away his brother’s hand as he reached for the bandages. “Honestly, there’s maybe four or five cuts that are worth all this white gauze. If you ask me, it’s overkill.”

Scott smirked. “That’s our Doc. Virgil is anything but not thorough.”

“Yea. Um,” Alan paused as he looked at his watch. “Speaking of, Virg. If Gordon is feeling better, he should be released from the infirmary by now. If you wanted to see him, that is.”

“I need to talk to him too. Clear the air, you know,” Scott acknowledged.

“I could go with you,” Alan offered. “Maybe help keep the peace for once.”

“Now there’s a first,” Scott bellowed, ruffling the youngster’s blonde mop.

“Fine, I take it back,” Alan pouted.

“Thanks, kiddo, but I think this is one I need to handle on my own,” Scott said, putting an arm around Alan’s back as they headed inside the house.

“Okay, well, you know where to find me,” Alan said. Both looked up to see their father approaching them with a questioning gaze. “Hey, Dad!”

“Everything good here?” Jeff questioned warily.

“All good, Dad. Sorry again about all this,” Scott said.

“Me too,” Alan agreed. “Won’t happen again.”

“It better not,” Jeff said sternly. “I won’t tolerate violence in any form from any of you. Especially at home.”

“Have you seen Gordon?” Alan asked.

“I just came from the infirmary. Virgil allowed him to leave the infirmary as long as he took it easy. Gordon said he was headed to his room for a bit. He wasn’t too keen on the pool being off-limits to him until tomorrow,” Jeff said. “I’ve got a business call in my office if you need me. Be good, boys.”

“No pool, huh?” Alan grimaced as they approached their bedrooms. “Are you sure you want to go it alone?”

Scott playfully shoved his little brother into his room. ���Don’t rub it in, brat. I’ve got this.”

“Alright,” Alan smirked. “But if I hear shouting, don’t expect me to come running this time.”

Scott glared at him as Alan quickly shut his door before he could comment. Taking in a deep breath, the brunette knocked on Gordon’s door. “Gordon?”

After a few seconds, the redhead opened the door. “Scott?” he asked, surprised.

“Hey,” Scott greeted. “Can I come in?”

“Sure, I guess,” Gordon responded, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m not here to yell,” Scott tried to reassure. “I’m here to apologize and to check on you.”

Gordon took a seat on his bed, remaining quiet. He was unsure of how to respond. “Have you spoken to Alan?”

“I have,” Scott said, leaning against Gordon’s door. “We’re good, Gordon. Now I need to make it up to you. I never meant to hurt you, kid. I never should’ve reacted that way.”

“It’s not entirely all your fault,” Gordon added, studying his brother.

“No, but I’m the reason you’ve got that headache,” Scott replied. “Alan also made sure to remind me how much of an idiot I’ve been.”

Gordon looked up at his eldest brother in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“It’s been brought to my attention that I’m a horrible listener,” Scott smirked, earning a chuckle from his brother. “Allie pointed out I’ve also been a tyrant in the field lately.”

“What else did Alan say?”

“He made it pretty clear I’ve been a jerk all around, Gordo. To you and him,” Scott said, as he moved forward to join Gordon on the bed. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel anything less than a valued member of the team. That was the last thing I meant to do.”

“The rescues over the last few months, unfortunately, have required a lot of tough calls on my behalf. It’s not an excuse, but it’s my job to make sure you make it back here, Gordon. In performing that job, I also got in my head. Bottled a lot of the bad stuff up, and it just exploded. Sadly, you bore the brunt of that. I can’t tell you how sorry I sincerely am for hurting you and Allie.”

“I accept your apology, but only if you’ll accept mine as well,” Gordon replied, meeting his brother’s sapphire eyes. “Wow, that must’ve been some talk the Sprout gave you,” Gordon chuckled.

“More screamed at me, but he opened my eyes,” Scott sobered. “I mean it, Gordon. I’m going to try to be better at listening to you guys. I never want you to feel like your opinion doesn’t matter on a call. I might not always see the merits to your perspective, but as Alan pointed out, you deserve to be heard.”

“Even when you’re an asshole?” Gordon asked, honestly.

“Yes, especially then,” Scott simpered. “I’m sure you’ll be the first to remind me.”

“You bet I will,” Gordon smiled with glee.

“How’s the head?” Scott asked as he placed a gentle hand on his younger brother’s forehead.

“Throbs every once and awhile, but I’ve dealt with worse,” Gordon confessed. “Quit beating yourself up about it. What’s done is done. I’ll be good as new in a day or so, and this will just be another cherished memory.”

“It could’ve been worse.”

“Scott, just let it go,” Gordon groaned. “Or do I need to find Allie to knock some more sense into you?”

“No, I’m good,” Scott laughed. “Can’t let Alan get too big a head, now can we?”

“I think that ship sailed long ago, big brother.”

Scott chuckled and stood up from the bed, making his way toward the door. “I’ll let you get some more rest. Need anything?”

“No, I’m good. Besides, I give Virgil an hour before he checks in on me,” the redhead reassured.

“Take it easy and don’t give Virgil too hard a time,” Scott ordered, giving his brother a knowing look. “I’m headed to do some work in the silos. Never know when we’ll get our next call.”

“F.A.B,” Gordon saluted, earning an eye roll from his older brother. “Oh, and Scott? Just remember who has the better Thunderbird,” the redhead winked as Scott left his room, muttering about him being delusional.

Maybe another prank was in his future….

FIN 

[poi-bigbang]

Art Claims

(Thank you @caviezeldaily​ for this amazing banner!)

Here are the remaining summaries up for claim in the POI Big Bang: 

1. Title: Carbines and Capacitors

Relationships: Gen (Joss & Cheyenne, other Team Machine friendships); background John/Joss, brief Harold/Grace and Laskey/OFC, brief unrequited Shaw/Cheyenne, mention of past Joss/Cal and Cheyenne/Irene Travers, two staged scenes that are explicitly not preludes to romance Characters: (in order of appearance) Cheyenne Bodie, Joss Carter, Mike Laskey, Lionel Fusco, John Reese, Harold Finch, Bear, The Machine, Sameen Shaw, Zoe Morgan, Patrick Simmons, Raymond Terney, Genrika Zhirova, Timothy Sloan, Root | Samantha Groves, Peter Collier, Anthony Marconi, Carl Elias, Peter Yogorov, Grace Hendricks, Andrew Monahan, Alonzo Quinn, Fermin Ordoñez, Arthur Claypool, Tom "Sugarfoot" Brewster, Bronco Layne Rating: Teen Summary: A routine day for Team Machine turns into anything but when a cowboy from 1880 falls out of thin air and lands practically at Carter's feet.  Getting him well and acclimated to life in 2013 is only half the battle.  Computers are out of his line, but he does have other skills Finch can use… so the best laid schemes of Greer and Quinn are about to run into a 6'6" tank named Cheyenne Bodie. (Season 3 AU, crossover with Cheyenne, with cameos from Sugarfoot and Bronco)

(Wikipedia links: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheyenne_(TV_series); https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugarfoot; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronco_(TV_series); Fandom wiki: https://cheyenne.fandom.com/wiki/Cheyenne_Wiki; IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047720/) Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply; References to historical atrocities, uncomfortably timely conversations, canon-typical violence, canon-typical threats of violence, crude remarks by Shaw, Cheyenne comes from a 1950s Western and speaks/thinks/acts accordingly (but as in canon, he hates racism and injustice) Art Wishlist: Open to any media, although traditional/digital might be more suitable than manips because most available images of Cheyenne are B&W--as was the show, so vids and gifs might have the same problem.  Podfic would be welcome, and the story is finished (and long!), but recording could be a challenge because Cheyenne's voice is lower than John's and because there are lots of footnotes and a few words in the Northern Cheyenne dialect, Dutch, Spanish, Sioux, Russian, and Hebrew.  Cheyenne wears a very distinctive hat (brown with silver arrowheads around the band) that could be drawn as part of a still-life banner or divider, possibly with a Colt Peacemaker and a Desert Eagle (crossed?).  Also, if you're interested in illustrating a scene, there are... rather a lot to choose from, but I think I'd go for one of Cheyenne with John, Joss, and/or Shaw.  I will happily work with any artist to find what source/reference materials are needed--I don't know where Cheyenne is available to watch outside the US, but there are at least clips posted on YouTube.

2. Title: Spare Me Relationships: Lionel Fusco/John Reese Characters: Lionel Fusco, John Reese, Lee Fusco, Harold Finch, Bear, Root, Original Characters Rating: (use AO3 system) T (for a kiss and Fusco's bad language) Summary: (<100 words) "I don't need a genius to tell me that you're lonely." Fusco invites John to join the NYPD bowling league to give John something normal and fun to do for once. But soon Fusco realizes that John isn't the only one who's lonely. Warnings: (use AO3 system) None Art Wishlist: (what media you're open to, hoping for, any ideas) Anything is fine by me! I've never had someone make art for a story of mine, so I'm easy to please! 

3. Title: Kingfishers

Relationships: Harold Finch/John Reese/Grace Hendricks

Rating: M at the moment, maaaybe E by the time I’m done

Summary:

One morning, a handsome stranger walks up to Grace Hendricks in a park and introduces himself. His name is John, and he likes her paintings.

That afternoon, Grace meets a wealthy insurance executive who offers her a sizable art commission. He’s intelligent, interesting, and easy to talk to. His name is Harold.

(A different-first-meeting story, in which Harold ignored the Machine’s attempts to set him up with Grace in 2006, only to receive her number in 2012 after he and John have been working together for over a year.)

Warnings: inexplicit references to child abuse and alcoholism

Art Wishlist: Grace’s paintings and sketches, and her feelings about the art and artists she admires, are pretty important to the story. There are passages where I describe pictures and paintings she’s created, or beautiful objects of various kinds that she and Harold both admire. An illustration of any of that stuff would be amazing, or maybe a kind of Pre-Raphaelite picture of the characters. Also, kingfishers are kind of thematically/symbolically important, and very beautiful, and would make lovely art.

Two requests: please don’t make art of Harold and John that excludes Grace, and please no NSFW art.

4. [Fic previously claimed! Should not have been here! Apologies!]

5. Title: More Than Words Relationships: John Reese/Harold Finch/Grace Hendricks Characters: John Reese, Harold Finch, Grace Hendricks Rating: General Audiences Summary: John and Harold have a lot in common. They've loved. They've lost. They've done their best to help people. And now they have a matching pair of soulmarks- tattoos bearing the first words your soulmate says to you. The marks aren't what bring John and Harold together. But they might end up tearing the two of them apart. Warnings: Choose Not to Use Archive Warnings (this fic should be tagged for some of John's suicidal ideation pre-season 1 and in the fic) Art Wishlist: Looking for visual media/graphic design. Since this is a soulmate/soulmark AU, I would be very happy if someone could design the tattoos I have in mind, in their medium of choice. I am willing to collaborate, or just see what they come up with. But while that is my ideal art pairing, I am open to anything!

6. Title: Untitled Relationships: Harold/John Characters: Harold, John, Bear, Shaw, Fusco, Carter, OCs, *possibly* an appearance by Root Rating: Teen & Up Summary: When a number goes wrong and Harold is stabbed, his entire life is thrown into disarray. Seriously injured, he's left with no choice but to rely on someone else as he recovers. He chooses John (or, rather, John chooses himself) and invites John into his home and his very private life as he slowly heals from the trauma and the wounds.

What happens when he realizes he wants John to stay close? Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply (additional warning for panic attacks and memories of a violent attack) Art Wishlist: I'd especially love illustrations (traditional or digital), but I'm game for anything.

7. Title: Bonds Not Broken - Maybe??? Relationships: John Reese/Harold Finch Characters: John Reese, Harold Finch, Sameen Shaw, OCs, Elias, Heralds of Valdemar characters, Rolan, Weaponmaster Hersch, King Jesse, Bear the dog, a cast of thousands Rating: Adult M/M Summary: An AU Person of Interest/Heralds of Valdemar crossover. John is not only a Herald, but the King's Own. The story begins with the death of the king, and this is John's journey to find his place in Valdemar. Warnings: Author Chooses None Art Wishlist: I like most styles of fanart except chibi. I love a good photo manip but really anything! If the artist is interested, I have an Instagram where I put pictures that helped me write this monster. The instagram is blackchaps with a Hawkeye icon, easy to find.

8. Title: Untitled (for now) Relationships: Harold Finch/Lionel Fusco, Lionel Fusco & Sameen Shaw, Harold Finch & Sameen Shaw Characters: Harold Finch, Lionel Fusco, Sameen Shaw, Bear, Leon Tao Rating: E Summary: One year after the death of Samaritan, Harold Finch returns to New York City and reunites with his old friends. Sameen Shaw and Lionel Fusco, who have believed him to be dead for the past 12 months, are not exactly eager to trust him again. As Harold handles mysterious cases on the outside of their new organization, he works to repair his relationships with both. Sameen, who doubts his commitment, will be hard to convince. Lionel, who bears deep emotional scars, will be impossible. Warnings: Canon typical violence, drug/alcohol use Art Wishlist: I’m super flexible re: medium. I’m very into the idea of space-centric or detail-centric art, as opposed to character-centric art, if that makes sense. Re: space-centric, a lot of the fic is about loneliness and puts the characters in empty, uncomfortable, or sad rooms and the vibe is very like these Edward Hopper paintings, I think. Alternatively, it’s Finch POV and he’s doing a lot of focusing on tiiiiiiny details and significant objects, and I’d love some fancypants studies or edits of those.

9. Title: Degrees of Separation Relationships: Gen (but the whole point of the story is that they’ve all been separated, so there are no relationships in action) Characters: John Reese, Harold Finch, Sameen Shaw, Root, Lionel Fusco, Bear Rating: Teen and Up (due to a limited use of common profanity) Summary: The lives of the members of Team Machine in their new identities during the first months of Samaritan’s full operation, from the separation of the team at the end of “Deus Ex Machina” through the events that take place in “Panopticon.” Warnings: Choose Not to Use Archive Warnings Art Wishlist: I am open to any medium.  It would be great if the art focused on the separation that the characters are experiencing.

10. Title: If I Could Tell Him Relationships: Harold Finch/John Reese; Harold Finch & Root; minor Root/Sameen Shaw; past Harold Finch/Nathan Ingram Characters: Harold Finch, John Reese, Root, Nathan Ingram (mentioned) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Summary: Harold manages to tap on the fourth wall of 4x17 “Karma” and has some thoughts about the mirroring of himself with the victim counselor vigilante Shane Edwards. He and John go on their walk with Bear, but Harold keeps what he’s feeling to himself. Years later, after all of Team Machine survives the defeat of Samaritan, Harold comes across Edwards and realizes he never talked with John about all of the emotions that number still fosters, specifically regarding Nathan. Root gives him some advice, and they all work on a happiness that encompasses the past, present, and future. Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Art Wishlist: I’m open to anything, from digital art to fanmixes and anything else, really. This is a rinch fic but it’s also basically a Harold character study (entirely from his POV and a lot of internal narrative) so any art could probably focus on him.

11. 

Title: The Mysterious Human Heart in New York Relationships: Jessica/John, Harold and Jessica, Harold and John Characters: Jessica, John, Harold, Fusco Rating: Teen Summary: Agent Jessica Reese has managed to claw her way back from Ordos after being betrayed by her partner and the CIA. Gutshot and purposeless, she spends her days haunting the hospital in New Rochelle, watching her ex, John. John has his happily ever after: got his nursing degree, married a great guy, lives in a beautiful house. Jess is glad. He should be happy with Peter.

When she bumps into the mysterious Harold Finch, who knows too much about everyone, he tells her the unpleasant truth about John's dream marriage. Jess must face up to the fact that John needs her help to find safety and happiness. Warnings: Show level violence, some medical detail as John is a nurse. Art Wishlist: I am open to any medium except audio.  

12. Title: To my God, I sacrifice Relationships: John Reese & Root, John Reese/ Kara Stanton Characters: John Reese, Root, Sameen Shaw, Hersh, Kara Stanton, Harold Finch (mentioned) Rating: Mature Summary: Former soldier and CIA agent John Reese has condemned himself to a slow death after being burned by the agency. After witnessing a strange woman answering a forgotten payphone, he suddenly finds himself entangled in a web of secrets, zealotry and violence. Warnings: Canon typical violence, canon typical torture, mentions of suicide and rape, abusive/unbalanced dynamics, alcoholism Art Wishlist: I don't have any particular requests in regards to the art, I'm curious about what will the artist choose to interpret. If I had to choose, a scene illustration or a cover would be very cool :)

If you’d like to make art for any of these fics, the sign-ups for artists are here: 

https://poi-fanworks.dreamwidth.org/27461.html

And the claim post is here: 

https://poi-fanworks.dreamwidth.org/31548.html

[reconditarmonia]

Dear Chocolate Box 2021 Author

Hi! Thank you for writing for me! I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3. I have anon messaging off, but mods can contact me with any questions.

Elsinore | Fullmetal Alchemist | The Locked Tomb | Motherland: Fort Salem | Simoun

General likes:

– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized.

– Loyalty kink! Trust, affectionate or loving use of titles, gestures of loyalty, replacing one’s situational or ethical judgment with someone else’s, risking oneself (physically or otherwise) for someone else, not doing so on their orders. Can be commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms.

– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.

– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff (possibly while crossdressing).

– Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.

– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.

– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.

General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex; embarrassment; focus on pregnancy; Christmas/Christian themes; focus on unrequested canon or non-canon ships; unrequested trans versions of characters.

Smut Likes: clothing, uniforms, sexual tension, breasts, manual sex, cunnilingus, grinding, informal d/s elements, intensity.

Requesting fic; open to art treats!

—

Fandom: Elsinore

Relationship(s): Hamlet & Ophelia; Hamlet & Horatio & Ophelia; Bernardo & Hamlet & Laertes & Ophelia

I found the friendships in this game, and the different ways that characters can reconcile or try to find a way forward together, to be really sweet and moving, and I'd love to read something that focused on those relationships of trust and support. I like how important Ophelia and Horatio's counsel and friendship is in timelines where Hamlet becomes king; I like Hamlet regretting how he behaved towards Ophelia and striving to live through his depression and find out what it is that he wants, not what everyone else wants of him; I like seeing childhood friends Bernardo and Laertes and Ophelia and Hamlet, whose growing-up has stretched them so far apart, taking time to catch up and enjoy each other's company a little.

So, futurefic in one of the timelines where everything doesn't go to shit? A timeline that we don't see? (There is something narratively interesting to me in Permanence/Passion in that the entire plot of Hamlet ends up as a distant backstory to someone's full life; I don't know how compatible that idea is with these requests, but if you want to write any of these groups fucking off to Italy or Constantinople or London and living until the Elsinore pressure-cooker is a distant memory, I'd be just as happy with that as with fic about them building some kind of future together still in Denmark, trying to make it better for its people and to hold on to who they are as individuals, and friends, beyond their roles.) If you want to write Hamlet/Ophelia, Hamlet/Horatio, or for that matter Horatio/Bernardo as shippy, I'm fine with that, but I don't want a focus on the romantic aspects of their relationship.

Fandom-Specific DNW: death of requested characters within the timeline being explored, or focus on death of requested characters. These characters die in this game a lot and I don't need you to pretend entirely that it's not a time loop game, but I would like them to be happy. If you write the Bernardo & Hamlet & Laertes & Ophelia request, I'm fine with either or both names/pronouns for Bernardo|Katherine, but I don't want to read a story focused on their gender or coming-out. Please don't include Peter Quince as a character (you do not need to retcon, you know, the existence of the time loop).

—

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Relationship(s): Maria Ross/Olivier Mira Armstrong

I'll admit: I am a shallow, shallow person who loves the heartwarming and id-satisfying Briggs loyalty-kink complex (The watch! Buccaneer handing Olivier a clean pair of gloves after she kills Raven! Constant and deeply sincere saluting! Olivier’s explanation of why she wants Miles around and her lack of patience for anyone’s shit) but would like an f/f manifestation of it for actual shipping. Post-canon or AU where Maria is assigned to Briggs, or works for Olivier in Central? Does Maria foil a plot against Olivier, or Olivier save Maria's life in battle? Does Olivier order Maria into a firefight? Hit me.

Fandom-Specific DNW: Olivier/men, even mentioned.

—

Fandom: The Locked Tomb

Relationship(s): Abigail Pent & Dulcinea Septimus; Gideon the First & Matthias Nonius

Dulcie and Nonius were two of my favorite additions to the cast in Harrow the Ninth (and Dulcie in "Doctor Sex" via letter). I loved everything we learned about Dulcie - her wit, her quick thinking in a pinch when confronted by Cytherea and her secret to Harrow. I found her "The only thing preventing me from being exactly who I wanted..." speech both genuinely moving and very funny, and I love her thirst for revenge. What else might she and Abigail Pent, "independent research? it isn't even my birthday!" daredevil spirit-talker par excellence who has just conjured up a ghost out of an epic poem, get up to after Harrow's bubble collapses? Or what were they up to when they weren't on screen in Harrow's dream, putting together this whole, well, play?

Nonius's arrival, entire scene, and departure to fight the Beast made me very, very happy on levels I have trouble explaining. It was so heartwarming?! Because it was impossible, and because poetry won, and because they went off to do the best they could...I don't know, exactly. I'd love to read either more about his mysterious past with Gideon the First, or about their second encounter as allies (throw in Marta, Ortus and Pro if you like as well!)

Fandom-Specific Exception: to my unrequested ships DNW, Dulcie/Cam & Dulcie/Pal. I love their three strand thing.

—

Fandom: Motherland: Fort Salem

Relationship(s): Abigail Bellweather/Raelle Collar

I fell hard for this show and Abigail/Raelle is the ship I’m most excited about - they get off to a bad start for all kinds of personal history reasons and have problems with each other, but when it gets down to the wire Abigail would do anything for Raelle and is very gung-ho about having Raelle’s unconventional but extremely powerful magic under her leadership, regardless of Raelle being a loose cannon. She told her she loved her!! <3 And by the end, Raelle also clearly knows what Abigail's going through (like when she talks her down in "Citydrop"), respects her leadership, and cares deeply about her and wants to protect her in return. I love that loyalty dynamic, and their competence as fighters/witches.

Physical combat, strength in general, magical strength, ability to work magic together, knowledge of the magical canon vs. out-of-the-box techniques...what parts of their skills and their bond could be challenged in the weird dimension that the end of season 1 leaves them in? Or when they get back home and new challenges await? (In my head, the decision not to send them to War College is not revoked; the unit becomes some kind of special-forces secret strike team rather than cannon fodder.) Maybe something where Raelle goes/has gone into a fight as a berserker-type for Abigail and then comes back to her, or where Abigail protects/has protected her soldier (her girl!! I love her protectiveness of Raelle towards the other cadets, imagine it in a battle!)? Or an arranged marriage AU where it's usual for witch soldiers to marry to combine their magic power or something...

I would also be up for smut for them, especially something d/s-y where the loyalty-kinky dynamic of Raelle being Abigail's weapon, at her command, is echoed in sex!

Fandom-Specific DNW: sex solely for magical purposes without an emotional connection (sex for magical purposes is fine), focus on Raylla (I don't need you to retcon it, but please don't dwell either on Raelle still having feelings for Scylla or on her getting over Scylla for Abigail), Scylla bashing, Abigail/Adil (I would prefer to imagine, if he is mentioned in the fic, that they’re just friends).

—

Fandom: Simoun

Relationship(s): Aer/Neviril; Aer/Neviril & Neviril/Paraietta; Aer/Neviril/Paraietta; Aer & Floef & Neviril & Paraietta & Rodoreamon & Vyuraf

Aer, and Aer/Neviril, really grew on me on my recent rewatch. I appreciated her more as the determined bit-of-a-loose-cannon, who grows into a respected role in the choir, than the manic pixie this time, and noted Neviril's comments about how she was drawn to Aer's determination. (I've written a lot more about what I love and am interested in about Neviril and the show in general, her journey of figuring out what it means to her exactly to lead an air force, here.) I'd love to know what happens to them post-canon - what is the "new world" and their travel in it like? It's an escape for them, sure, but what are they escaping to, not just from? Are there problems there, too?

I'd also be up for a poly situation where Neviril is involved with both Aer and Paraietta, her long-loyal second-in-command whom she's blessed and forgiven, as a V where they're friends or as a triangle where Aer and Paraietta are also involved (I don't quite know what that leg of the triangle would look like but I do like how they work together in battle even when they're shown as having personal issues.)

If Neviril and Aer make it back to the main world when war is brewing again, as at the end of the series, but their old cohort can't fly anymore, what do they see their role as being? Does Neviril see herself as a leader for peace, for war, for something else? How do they interact with their former squadmates, whether as part of a more plotty piece or not?

I could be interested in explicit fic for this canon, as an option - the series is, on some level, about the contrast between the reality and physicality of their bodies and the general perception of what they do (which even in its non-spiritual military capacity is removed from a connection to their bodies via the Simoun aircraft), about becoming an adult, and of course about gender.

Fandom-Specific DNW: I'm not really interested in Kaim and Alty and would prefer for them not to appear or for their backstory to come up. I would also not like to see pre-timeskip Dominuura/Limone.

[vexus-u]

Anti discourse is eating fandom from the inside-out at the moment. This sort of thing is everywhere in the past few years, because the minority of people who gun hard for that sort of thing are so widespread, self-assured, and so ready to drop vile accusations at the drop of a hat that they are almost impossible to ignore.

I feel like a lot of people see this going on but don’t want to talk about it or comment on it, because they’ve seen the sort of fire that can be drawn if you don’t toe the line absolutely. People skirt the issue, or avoid talking about it, because really, who does want to deal with that whole mess? Who wants to risk the backlash? And then there are the folks who haven’t engaged closely enough to see through the buzzwords; the people who see a post that proclaims that it’s condemning “real pedophiles”, and like any outsider rightly would, thinks, “oh God, that’s awful!” and clicks reblog.

It’s a good camouflage, maybe even the best. I feel like these people might even have one-upped the TERF posts claiming to rail against misogyny, but by analogy at least I think people can be shown what’s really going on.

If we are going to make fandom a safer and less toxic place, I think we need to start facing this behavior head-on and stop averting our gaze as a community. As an individual it’s hard, I know. But there are real world consequences; self harm, mental illness, and suicide attempts (believe me when I say that I know from experience), that cannot be swept aside as easily as antis/fandom police can proclaim that anyone who disagrees with them simply deserves to die. If you’ve ever had tangential contact with that sort of discourse and have internalized what these people say as the norm, I think it would benefit you to take a step back and realize how unhealthy a mentality that is to have. It’s easy to denounce anyone who questions you as a degenerate unworthy of life. Makes things a lot easier for you, but I think that we all know where that can lead.

If you are reading this and truly are unaware of what I’m talking about, let me give you a brief run-down. I don’t have the time or the stomach to jump into this discourse as deep as the rabbit-hole goes, but I will give some context as to where I am speaking from. I am a queer woman with clinical OCD. So called anti-shipping/anti-fic/fandom purity discourse started appearing in my sphere round about four years ago, and pretty much nothing since has been as dangerous to my mental health. I cannot begin to sum up how much self-hate and anguish this sort of gaslighting has resulted in for me, but let me tell you, it’s been bad. My compulsion to deal with this sort of thing tends to manifest as anxious research, and so, trust me. I know what I’m talking about here.

Namely, if you are a complete outsider, there is a school of thought that has taken root in certain younger fan communities, among groups that feel like they lack control over the world at large. As fandom is often the main community that these folks have (I counted myself among that crowd), this frustration has evolved into an reactionary ideology that takes ideas about the cultural impact of fictional works in our society to ludicrous, absurd extremes.

Ideas about poor portrayals having the potential to convey negative ideas to a reader have evolved into the creation of a code of morals that frames any interaction with fiction as a form of moral advocacy for that which it contains. Shipping is reframed as an expression of beliefs about desirable relationship dynamics. Depictions of abuse are reframed as advocacy for abuse. The concept of romanticization, which usually is only applied to ideas in the context of otherwise contextless mainstream works without prior warnings, is transformed into an indictment of any depiction of any that could be perceived as harmful which is not followed by an explicit condemnation of said act. This becomes even more absurd when you consider that these attacks are often aimed at fanfiction which has already been tagged with explicit warnings for the reader. Always invoked to justify this is the spectre of “negative influence on the children”, but this is both neither the responsibility of random internet users operating in adult-tagged spaces, and also, as with the video game violence scare of the 90s, mostly unjustified fearmongering.

Perhaps even worse, this logic is extended to fictional elements that might be thought to recall certain negative ideas in the mind of the reader. Short characters are, fairly offensively, dubbed “child-coded”, and it is verboten to include them in any adult works. Similarly, adult AUs of younger characters which include sexual content are condemned simply because the characters concerned were initially portrayed by a different author as younger! This leads into a deeper rabbit hole, where fictional characters, who are plot figments with no “real” version or portrayal, are effectively reframed as if they were actual people, who can be harmed by the way that they are portrayed in fanfic. In some extreme fringe cases, I have actually seen this been expressed literally; by invocation of alternate realities in which fiction is real, or through otherkin.

These people will claim glibly that they are fighting against real abusers, and who would want to hear what a dirty abuser might say in response? But don’t be fooled. This lens is almost solely turned back on people in fandom communities who are most vulnerable, and is driven by an underlying fear of sex, sexuality, queer expression, and perceived “degeneracy”. Any slight excuse to construe a transformative work as impure is taken as license to reframe the author or artist as scum, and therefore worthy of the harassment they will ultimately receive. Tellingly, the most affected groups are often queer women, and this sort of thing can and does destroy lives and careers. Moreover, the vicious cycle of social pressure and retribution for stepping out of line ensures that this toxic ideology holds people who step into it in its grip, lest they be expunged from their communities. Sight is lost of the fact that, at the end of the day, all that the perpetrator is guilty of is creating fanwork that some people might find distasteful.

There’s a lot more to say which I won’t, but I will stress again that the harm that this sort of thing is doing cannot be underestimated. It’s an insidious and toxic mode of thought that seeps into communities through the buzzwords it leverages - accuse somebody of being a pedophile and people pay attention! But these words are being misused, and this discourse distracts from actual predators even as it is cause for unjustified targets to be suicide baited, driven from fandom spaces, and vindictively destroyed. People who already suffer from mental health issues, and especially anxiety disorders such as OCD, can be driven to self-destruction by the repeated accusations and gaslighting. We need to remind people that these behaviors are not normal, are not the righteous causes they present themselves as, and are not tolerated. In fandom communities particularly, I honestly believe that this issue is one of the most insidious and dangerous that we currently face. Fandom has become nominally progressive, at the expense of trojan horse ideologies such as the anti/purity discourse positioning themselves as too risky to shout down.

I think it is time to stop turning a blind eye, recognize what is happening in our communities, deradicalize the people who are responsible for the harassment, and try to fix some of the damage that has already been done.

[bytheangell]

i am so in love with time travel fics so if it's not too much trouble can you please write something re: sad!past!magnus (maybe TID-era, or anything really) somehow winding up in the present day, and finding out that he's gonna be ok, he's gonna be so happy with his husband and children (if you want to include the book!malec kids here) and family, and the world might not be perfect but it's going to be better than he thought it could be

Believe in All the Possibilities (Read on AO3)Magnus just wants a carefree night of music, perhaps a bit of dancing, and most definitely more drinking than would be strictly advisable in his current emotional state. Maybe, if he still feels awful enough by the end of the night, he can end up in a den of questionable moral offerings on the shadier side of London. Who knows where the night might take him?

Instead he finds himself staring across the room at Camille, dancing far too close to be publicly decent with her current conquest. That’s all they are, he reminds himself, but it doesn’t help, not when he was in her arms not that long ago (had it been weeks? months? what’s time to an immortal, anyway?). Not when she’s the reason he’s drinking his heartbreak drink alone at the bar in the first place. He watches her for a while, losing track of time (has it been minutes? hours? time matters so little these days…). It’s the amount of time it takes to drink two bottles of whiskey, he can measure it that way. He thinks he might just continue for the rest of the night until Camille meets his eyes, winks at him, and then pushes her suitor against a wall to shove her tongue down his throat and run her hands down the length of his body and-

He needs to leave. 

Magnus pays his tab and walks out of the party, doing his best not to look back. He almost manages it but steals one last glance, not sure if he’s more or less hurt by the realization that she isn’t even watching him for his reaction, now entirely lost in the arms of her new lover. It isn’t a comfort to remind himself that he probably means nothing to her because that’s only a reminder that he meant nothing to her, too. 

He doesn’t have a place in mind when he opens a portal. He’s only just polished up with Henry a more stable way of opening portals for Shadowhunters to use, with runes drawn intricately around where they wish to form it to channel the magic needed. The one he opens now, fueled only by his own raw power, could be considered a prototype at best. It’s unstable and unpredictable without the runes to ground it, but hell, he’s feeling more than a little unstable and unpredictable himself. 

Magnus knows, deep down, that this is a mistake. The first rule to using a portal is to have a clear picture of where you’re going, but instead he steps into it with only one thought in mind: Take me somewhere I can be happy. I just want to feel okay again.

London vanishes behind him, and everything goes black. 

—

By all accounts he should be dead. Or in limbo. Or some horrifying combination of both.

Instead, Magnus finds himself blinking his eyes open from darkness to take in the scene around him of a city that is most definitely not London. There are street lamps lit along the– no, not lamps. The light coming from them isn’t fire. They’re electric. In fact, electric lights seem to be everywhere, despite the lightbulb barely being functional in the richest of areas testing out electricity in 1878. 

But that’s not the strangest thing. Magnus takes a few tentative steps towards the street only to jump backwards at the speed of the… well, he isn’t sure what the horrifyingly fast cart that passed him is exactly, but he knows that one more step forward and he would’ve been underneath it. Sobering up much faster than he’d like, Magnus starts to realize that however improbable the idea is, he has to face the facts that add up around him. He appears to be in the future - at the very least an alternate timeline, one far more advanced than his own. Regardless, either should be impossible. 

And the most distressing realization (as if all of that isn’t enough) is that since he has no idea how he managed to get here, he isn’t entirely sure how to get himself back. 

If he even can. 

…if he even wants to. 

After all, the past holds little for him outside of disappointments and broken promises. He can hardly find joy in his work at the moment, the one thing he’s consistently turned to as a source of pride and solace, so why bother going back to a life destined for solitude and misery? 

But first things first: he needs to figure out exactly where he is. It takes a bit of poking around and more than a few heavy American accents telling him in no uncertain terms not to so much as look at  them, before he gets the answers he’s looking for. It’s New York in the late 2010s, a little over a hundred years ahead of where he came from. 

But why here? Why now? 

Those questions are answered when he backs up quickly to narrowly avoid two children who turn the corner and nearly run directly into him, followed by the voice of someone calling out after them. No, not someone - that’s his voice. 

“Max! Rafe! This isn’t a game tonight, okay? Something’s wrong and I need to test the wards before you can go inside.”

Magnus glamours himself immediately, pressing up against the side of the building to let them pass while  listening in on the middle of a conversation this future version of himself is holding with a very tall, very attractive Shadowhunter. 

“-I don’t know, Alexander. But something feels off with my magic, like I can sense too much of it? I can’t explain it, but I just want to make sure nothing’s wrong before you and the boys come up.” And then he’s gone, vanishing into the apartment building while the man named Alexander waits on the sidewalk with two children, one warlock and one shadowhunter. Magnus knows because of the runes and blue skin he can see just beyond their glamours; glamours which are good enough to fool mundanes but not strong enough to block out skilled warlocks who are looking hard enough. The children must be keeping their own glamours up rather than relying on ones put on by the two adults. Impressive, especially for children so young. 

The warlock boy starts to poke small jolts of magic into the Shadowhunter boy, who looks about two seconds away from stabbing the warlock boy in the arm with his stele if he doesn’t stop. Magnus has the sudden impulse to give away his own hidden position to stop them but Alexander is already on top of it.  

“Max! No magic on the street, you know that. Rafael, please, if you break another stele this month Izzy’s going to kill both of us. Just stand still for two minutes while Papa checks the wards.” 

“Alright, Dad,” the children say in unison.

And that’s when Magnus realizes. These aren’t just people his future self is working with, or bringing here for a social visit. These are his children. And Alexander is… well, if Dad and Papa weren’t enough, one glance down at the wedding ring on the Shadowhunter’s finger is all the answer he needs there, too. Magnus can sense the magic there, his magic there, laced with more protection charms than should reasonably be contained in an object so small. 

The future version of himself comes back downstairs looking more confused than ever, and just for confirmation Magnus’ eyes immediately drop to the matching wedding band on his hand, standing out in its simplicity compared to the rings surrounding it. I’m married. And more than that, married to a mortal. A Shadowhunter. “Everything’s fine. C’mon kids, grab your things before we drop you back off at the Institute with Aunt Isabelle and Uncle Simon for the weekend.” 

Magnus follows behind as they go upstairs, the wards letting him pass without incident as they’re keyed to his own magic, after all. He’s careful to stay out of the way as he remains hidden from view, listening to the sounds of laughter as the children pack clothing into a bag and his future self enjoys a glass of wine with his husband, eavesdropping on their conversation while he looks around the room at children’s artwork and smiling family photos, feeling the warmth that radiates from this nontraditional family. 

“Once we get back to Alicante I have three meetings, one with Consul Penhallow,” his future self sighs. “Remind me again why I let you talk me into the High Warlock position?” 

Alexander laughs. “Talk you into it? As I remember, the moment you heard Alicante was getting one you practically demanded to be the one to, how did you put it?, ‘put the Clave in their place once and for all’?” 

Magnus nearly chokes on the air he’s breathing. High Warlock is one thing, it’s an honor he’s always dreamed of. But High Warlock of Alicante? It sounds absolutely absurd and he can hardly comprehend the idea of it. Downworlders are barely allowed to exist in the same rooms as Shadowhunters, let alone exist as any sort of authority in their sacred country. He’s broken from his thoughts by his future self speaking again. 

“Yes, well, I also remember the job coming with the clear perk of moving to Alicante with my husband the Inquisitor, so-” 

Magnus watches them smile at one another, leaning in to kiss. It’s a short one, quickly interrupted by a flying pillow and the laughter of children. Soon both wine glasses are magicked away and both his future self and Alexander are each grabbing a child, spinning them before pinning them to the ground, tickling them into submission. 

Suddenly Magnus realizes why he’s here, why now. 

This is what he wanted. This is where he’s happy. 

There is so much love in the room it’s practically palpable. He’s married to someone he clearly trusts, someone he doesn’t believe will hurt him or leave him, because he knows himself. He knows how impossible the idea of finding someone like that feels right now, and how important this Alexander must be for him to go against everything he’s resolutely resigned to in his own mind and allow him into his life in such a monumental way. And a family… as impossible as marriage seems to him, the idea of a family isn’t even up for consideration. This sort of life - settling down, unconditional love, contentment, happiness - it isn’t meant for him. It never has been, and he never thought it would be. 

Until now. 

When his future self opens a portal to the Institute they’re going to drop the children off at Magnus instinctively follows close behind, still glamoured, coming out of the other side and into the New York Institute just as it closes, like it knows to wait for him. The children immediately run into the arms of another Shadowhunter, a woman this time, and then the man beside her. A vampire, who is casually coexisting in the inner sanctum of the Shadowhunters and friendly with his future children. 

“Simon!” The young Shadowhunter boy, Rafe, nearly shouts. “I got my speed rune, I bet I can beat you in a race now!” 

The vampire - Simon - laughs. “Oh yeah? We’ll have to see about that…” 

Magnus almost feels guilty for intruding on these moments. He knows they’re not for him, not yet, but he can’t help himself when Alexander and his future self say goodbye shortly after and he’s ducking quickly behind them into another portal, this time coming out somewhere entirely unfamiliar at first. It takes a few moments before the scenery around him registers. 

Alicante. 

He recognizes the demon towers, can feel the strength of the angelic power around him from both the concentrated amount of Shadowhunters and the adamas veins that run beneath the city. He’s immediately uncomfortable, an instinctive sense of unease coming from so much as stepping foot upon the City of Glass… but not his future self. 

He watches his future self visibly relax the moment he steps foot out of the portal and onto the ground of the park below. Can anyone portal into the middle of Alicante at will now or is it just him, Magnus wonders idly. Exactly how much have things changed? 

…exactly how much of that is, potentially, because of him? 

Magnus follows his future self and Alexander down a path he realizes was picked deliberately for the portal to open up at. The pair take their time wandering down it, hand in hand, talking and catching up on each other’s days. Alexander mentions Catarina and Magnus feels his heart swell at the knowledge that they’re still friends, even now. Maybe everyone doesn’t leave him in the end after all. 

When his future self and Alexander finally reach a building that’s most likely their home Magnus decides not to follow them inside. He’s seen enough: enough to know that he may never stop watching this version of his life if he doesn’t leave soon, and more than enough to know that running away from the life he has now is no longer what he wants, not when he has this to look forward to in the end.  It might not be what he thought he wanted out of life, but maybe it’s exactly what he needs.

Magnus feels a lightness in him he didn’t imagine himself capable of just an hour ago. Hope, the smallest seed of it, rests firmly within him after the sights he witnessed tonight. He just has to let it grow, nurture the idea that things may seem bleak now but they won’t be forever. He has proof of that now, a reason to believe that he’s more than just someone to be used and discarded. That one day he’ll find a love powerful enough to see him marrying a Shadowhunter, taking on a job title he never could’ve imagined existing let alone holding personally, and raising a family to come home to at the end of the day. Loved. Accepted. Content. 

Before he came here he simply wanted to dull the ache and numb himself to any feelings at all; now he finds himself overwhelmed by too many emotions to count, and he couldn’t be more grateful for it. 

This may all be his one day, but first he has to get here. Once he’s certain he’s alone he conjures a portal of his own, picturing London and a life that’s only as meaningful as he chooses to make it.His life no longer feels like an inevitable sentence to play out but rather a glowing future that’s his for the taking. ‘Take me home’ he thinks with surprising fondness as he takes his first step towards that light.

[be-compromised]

Clint/Nat Fic Recs

I made a list of my fave Clint/Nat fics for this weeks ATTF (add yours here) and decided to share direct to here. Enjoy!

Two for the Show and Upon this Winter's Night by mousie tongue

[ AU, FFN, M and E, cntw ] Oh man, these remain some of my fave Clint/Nat stories. Orphanage AU. Amazingness.

Soiree by ruby_caspar

[ AU, LJ, PG, no warnings ] Brilliant regency AU written for a be_compromised Secret Santa in 2013. Urgh, I love.

no light in this valley by trysts

[ AU, LJ, PG13, violence ] Another of my fave AUs. Western AU with Clint as a lawman.

the body in the machine by trysts

[ pre-movie, M, canon-typical violence ] Excellent pre-movie Clint and Nat.

#27 IKEA by nympheline

[ post-Avengers, tumblr, PG13, no warnings ] A gut punch, immediate fallout flashfic of the very best sort.

Playing Games by Karu-DarkAngel

[ pre-movie, FFN, M, sex and violence ] Another one of my favourites. The tension in it crackles. Karu-DarkAngel's other Clint/Nat stuff is equally good.

warp and weft by legete

[ post-Avengers, AO3, PG13, violence ] A wonderful kinkmeme fill where Loki sewed Clint’s mouth up to stop him talking and Natasha is left to remove the stitches. 

The Woman in the Crosshairs by Frea_O

[ post-Avengers, AO3, PG13, no warnings ] Clint is secretly an author. A lovely getting together fic.

The Nature of Dust by inkvoices

[ AU, AO3, M, no warnings ] Dust Bowl/Circus AU with magical elements. Lovely and atmospheric.

Indebted by sablier_bloque

[ pre-Avengers, AO3, E, graphic violence and sex, underage (though nothing bad) ] A fantastic Clint-recruits-Natasha fic. Excellent levels of pining.

Man on a Wire by enigma731

[ pre-Avengers AU, AO3, M, no warnings ] A wonderful Natasha-recruits-Clint AU. Plus, circus elements. :D 

What We Did Right by bluflamingo

[ AU, AO3, G, no warnings ] Teacher AU; Clint is Natasha's daughter's Deaf teacher. Lovely, lovely little story.

the hurts of human life by actonbell

[ post-WS, AO3, G, general Bucky-adjacent warnings ] Some of my very favourite Clint Barton characterisation ever. Background Steve/Bucky.

and at night be warm by gsparkle

[ AU, AO3, PG13, no warnings ] Radio AU. Urgh, will I ever not rec this fic? No, no I won't. So warm and fluffy.

Samsara by xahra99

[ Mission fic, AO3, G, canon-level violence ] A fantastic mission fic set in Tibet. Very happy I tracked this one down.

Time, Baby by cat_77

[ Mission fic, AO3, PG13, canon-level violence ] A lovely trapped-and-awaiting-rescue getting-together fic. Cat_77's genfics are always worth a read.

Boys Wanna Be Her by paperclipbitch

[ Avengers-era, AO3, E, no warnings ] The classic bodyswap AU. Amazing stuff.

You Were A Kindness by AlwaysLera

[ pre-movie, AO3, M, past-abuse, PTSD etc ] AlwaysLera wrote some wonderful Clint/Nat. This one is delicate and both Clint and Natasha are wonderfully drawn. Clint recruits Natasha (sort of). 

when the music stops, we'll still be dancing [together] by andibeth82

[ AU, AO3, G, no warnings ] Ballet/musician AU. Clint plays violin, Natasha dances. Delicate and wonderful. 

if ever two were one by shellybelle

[ post-Avengers, AO3, G, no warnings ] Five times people found out Clint and Nat were married and one time they tell everyone. 

Here I Dreamt I Was A Soldier by SugarFey

[ AU, AO3, M, war ] WWII codebreaker AU, also with Carol/Jess. Urgh, so good. 

White Blank Page by AlliSnow

[ Avengers-era, AO3, M, mind-control, background abuse ] One of the very best Natasha-centric mission fics/rescue fics out there. If you haven't read this, you should. Superbly plotted. 

The Observable Universe by Sarea Okelani (serea)

[ Avengers-era, AO3, PG13, no warnings ] Jane POV, Jane trying to get Clint and Nat together. One of my faves (again) 

Not A Day Goes By (Not A Single Day) by samalander

[ AU, AO3, G, no warnings ] Clint/Nat coda to another of her fics, this is a brilliant slice-of-life fic. You're in good hands with samalander. 

The Guy, The Spy, His Not-Wife, And Their Handler by tielan and pentapus

[ Mission fic, AO3, PG13, no warnings ] Great mission fic with Natasha and Maria being competent badasses. 

Life of Crime by neveralarch

[ AU, AO3, E, sex and violence ] One of my very favourite fics ever ever ever. Supervillian AU. Clint/Nat/Bucky, Clint/Carol, Kate/America, hilarious and awesome. Reads like the best Marvel comic, with added sex and polyamory.

Mr. & Mrs. Barton (Or: Why Natasha Sends Jennifer Aniston an Annual Apologetic Fruit Basket) by shellybelle

[ AU, AO3, E, sex and violence ] Mr and Mrs Smith AU. Wonder and glory.

I also recommend Clint&/Nat stories by Feather (lalaietha) who has some of the very best characterisation of both Natasha and Clint. I am especially fond of her ideas on Clint Barton's morality. It's an expansive post-WS AU, with Steve/Bucky, Tony/Pepper and Bruce/Betty, plus a raft of wonderful OCs.

[apocalyvse]

11/11/11

I was tagged by @water-writings <3

1. Do you write fanfictions or original stories and did you ever write fanfiction?

I write (and always have written) both; I actually started writing fanfiction when I was like 10 years old, before I even knew what fanfiction was, and then later discovered that it was a whole thing. For quite a few years now fanfic has been my main thing, but I’ve got a few original things that I’m knuckling down on this year and really enjoying, so we’ll see.

2. Did you ever write your stories in the middle of class instead of paying attention?

Not in the middle of class really, but I did write like half a harry potter au fic sort of thing based off of some rp characters at the end of my year 11/12 exams. The exams were like 3 hours long each, and like, I’m not smart but I am pretty quick at theory stuff so I’d have 1.5-2 hours per exam to fill, and I would never use the note paper for notes. So I’d fold my note paper into 8ths and write reeeeeally really small and fill it all up during my extra exam time. (I still have the sheets of paper if anyone wants to see xD)

3. How many notebooks do you have filled with your writing?

Since somewhere in 2015, I have filled 25 notebooks; not including anything I wrote straight out on a computer, on my phone, on random pieces of paper, or in other notebooks that aren’t included in my numbering system, which I have lmao.

4. What’s your favorite way to write? Notebook, Word Doc, Google Docs?

By hand in notebooks. I used to write in a word doc, and I still use word to type up into and edit it, but I find writing by hand really pushes my word counts up, and forces me to do an initial edit when I type it up, especially with fanfic because I don’t draft fanfic.

5. Do you write by yourself or do you need people writing with you?

I’ve always written alone - most of my friends don’t even know that I write, or don’t write anymore themselves, so it’s just me and myself over here. I was in a writing club at school for a while, and we tried to do a couple projects together, but the group got off course way too easily and nothing really got done, so I prefer to be alone with something I’m really passionate about finishing.

6. Have you ever cowritten with someone?

When I was liiiiiike 12, my friend and I co-wrote a lot of Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic lmao, which to this day is one of my favourite writing memories. And I co-wrote an entire 50k ‘novel’ with my friend during middle school, which was actually pretty good fun - we traded off chapters and worked together on plot and worldbuilding and actually finished the whole thing. It was horrible (I can’t look at it anymore it’s so cringey), but a good experience to have. I’ve co-written with a few friends online too, with mixed results - nothing that’s ever really gone anywhere though.

7. Who do you bounce ideas off of?

No one lmao. I just throw them into the story and see if they work.

8. Have you ever taken an experience from your life and written it into a story?

Definitely! The most obvious example would probably be the series of short stories I’ve written and posted on this horse racing game I play, Flying For Home, which are sometimes drawn directly from stuff that happens around my workplace in real life, seeing as I work with racehorses in a big stable (the premise of the short stories lmao). 

Another example I can think of is, funnily enough, my other horse-related project; a novel called Vertigo, for which I have drawn on a lot of my own personal history and people that I’ve met in my life and thrown it into the mixing pot. It’s a bit of a personal daydream tbh xD Other than those, there’s a little bit of myself in everything I write, I think, though it’s hard to pick out sometimes.

9. Favorite type of music to listen to while you write.

I usually don’t let myself listen to music when I write, but if I do, it’ll be the playlist I inevitably have for the story, turned down very quiet so that it fades into the background - usually just pop and alternative/indie sort of stuff.

10. Have you ever had anyone give you “advice” that hurt you and prevented you from writing for a while?

I don’t think I’ve ever had anything that stopped me from writing, and I’ve certainly never had criticism from outsiders/strangers or whatever (generally people just ignore me). But I do keep my mum at a distance from my writing, as she tends to just push and push me to ‘publish something already’ and gives off the mentality of ‘it’s not worth wasting your time on if it won’t make you money’. She uh...doesn’t know that I have published over 100k of fanfic this year. Lol. She’s only trying to be supportive, in her own way, and I appreciate it, but I just don’t mention it to her very often, because she’s never really ready to listen to my point of view on it.

11. Have you ever had fans of your writing pester to write a certain way?

I don’t have fans xD

And from @starsandstormyseas because you asked good questions and I Want To...

1. Have you ever had an idea that sounded really great in your head, but when you started writing it, came out terrible for whatever reason?

Yesssss, Flicker has gone through 9 versions in 2 years because every time I start it, it just goes very quickly in directions that I don’t want it to and it never feels right. This version I’m working on now is the first time I’ve really liked all the ways I could go with it so hopefully we’re past book 2 blues and back on track.

2. What’s your favorite part in writing a story? The relationships (or shipping), the plot, the worldbuilding, something else?

The like, ‘main’ scenes, the big hitters. The culmination of all the middle bits into that one main plot point. And relationships too, though not romantic persay - I just really enjoy the scenes where two characters will bounce off of each other for like 7 pages of dialogue, whether its enemies, or friends, or romantic.

3. And weird habits you do when writing, or to keep yourself writing?

I write by hand mostly, and I have my own system to mark as I’m going sentences I don’t like, or words that don’t really fit but I couldn’t think of the right one, or facts I’ve made up on the fly that need to be googled. If I just mark down stuff that I want to change later as I go, I find that I set myself free in a way, and I can just move on without getting stuck on a google spiral (also I don’t forget to fix my plot holes later).

4. Do you keep the internet on or off when you write?

On, though it’s very distracting when I’m trying to write straight on my laptop lmao

5. What books, authors, fics, or any media, have heavily influenced your writing style?

I spent a lot of my childhood reading Enid Blyton and authors like her; older books, mostly my mum’s books from when she was a child, and things from my hometown’s very, very outdated library. So they had a huge impact on the way I learnt to write (they also had an impact on the way I talk too, but that’s another story). More recently, the whole tone and way that fanfic in general is written has really influenced me, and I’d like to think I’ve adopted it and made it my own in a good way.

6. What time is the best time to write? Day, night? Morning, evening?

Evening/night; some days, I cannot focus until like 8pm when I go to bed. And then I lose sleep because I’m writing but y’know. For editing/typing up, that’s a late afternoon kind of job.

7. Is there anyone IRL that you let read your work? 

I have a group of friends that I’ve known for 8 years now that are allowed to read my work. We used to rp together and all used to write and so we all know how bad we were back in the day xD. One girl from that group has been my friend since kindergarten, so she has always had me shoving handfuls of words in her face. There’s been a few other friends that have read some of my stuff, but not all of it, and the older I get, the less I share.

8. How do you handle negative or unhelpful reviews or critique? Does it impact the way you write?

I’ve never had any negative response, so I don’t know. The silence when you’re 4 chapters deep and no one has reviewed is deafening though.

9. Do you respond to every comment/reply you get? If not, which ones get your attention and why?

I only respond to the long/sincere ones, because I feel like they deserve some encouragement in return for taking the time to really let me know what they thought.

10. Ever gotten weird, unsolicited messages asking to join an RP group or some such because this person apparently read your writing (but probably didn’t)?

Hah. Once or twice.

11. What is your favorite platform to post your writing, talk about writing, or anything like that? 

My favourite place to post and to read by far is AO3 - but I find the best platform to get feedback on is FF.net. My favourite place to talk about writing is over here on tumblr.

MY QUESTIONS

How do you get yourself to focus on writing?

What’s your favourite thing you’ve ever written?

Tell me about your current WIP.

Do you write for yourself or for an audience?

Do you share your writing with anyone you know in real life?

What’s the nicest comment/review you’ve ever gotten?

What platform do you prefer to post your work on?

Do you plot or pants?

What have you learnt while writing your stories?

Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?

Can you give a spoiler for your WIP?

Tagging (from writer peeps) @converginglives, @pen-in-hand (if you want another one I think mel got you xD), @aethryos, @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword, @siriusguided, @insertpenname-here, @indecentpause, @writing-at-dusk @sillyliterature @anoddconstellationofthoughts @writingtomorrow

[blatherkatt]

i just started reading your blumenthal kids reunionfic and i LOVE IT! Its so good and so full of potential and angst and I LOVE IT!!!💞💞💞 The way you write Eodwulf is soooo good hes such a mess and so gay help him. and Astrid Omg... I cant wait for more of her i checked out some of your posts on here and shes just great??? You've clearly put a lot of thought into them with the child designs and stuff, did you have any major inspo for the two of them like songs or other characters and stuff???

hey tumblr dont…delete part of my answer what the heck

anyway!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH,,, ed ( @tactfulgrimalkin ) is the one doing the actual writing but we plan everything together and i edit and do artwork so he deserves lots of love for the great writing…i dont remember what else i had here before tumblr deleted it so i hope thats the gist of it 

eodwulf is a gay disaster of a bastard man and astrid is SO fun and im SO GLAD UR EXCITED TOO BECAUSE WE SURE ARE

anyway you just opened pandora’s box and i’m very sorry for the length of the rest of this answer but here we go prepare for some cursed content necessary to answer that question ( | ) w ( | ) it was a Wild Ride getting these two characters to where they are boy howdy 

so the thing is in order to explain how we created these characters i actually have to get into the origins of the fic on the whole because the two are inextricably linked, and also, the origins of this fic are incredibly cursed and you can send all ur hatemail right here go on blast us we’re ready 

but we were talking about caleb and how we’re both excited for whenever astrid and eodwulf turn up, and the thought came up for basically the rough skeleton of that scene in chapter 2: 

“hey how messed up would it be if instead of them both hunting him down like we’re expecting…one of them comes in with a huge savior complex and sincerely thinks he’s delusional and should still be in the asylum, how MESSED UP would that be” 

…and then shortly after that, this happened 

thats the cursed part dont say i didnt warn u but listen you know we’re right

also that pic of caduceus didnt exist back then i went back and got this screenshot just to share the curse with you all

ANYWAY

in classic us format we got carried away and eodwulf got slotted into the role of that scene in chapter two and his character was largely developed around that scene, like, what kind of person would still be clinging to caleb after all this time to that degree to make that happen? and what was come up with was an extremely avoidant person clinging to a fantasy version of things wherein they don’t have to fight

(eodwulf was developed into a Person before astrid, i should note at this point, and ed did most of that developing; i took point on astrid later on)

but around this time i went “screw it im gonna do some concept art we’re both in too deep now” so here’s some of that for u guys 

started with them all as teens and did a couple sketches as well as one of baby (well. teen. so baby) caleb/bren/we were calling him felix at the time as some of u probably already know 

first draft had astrid with longer hair than eodwulf lmao check this out 

flipped the hair length on those two which was for the best because at the time we were imagining eodwulf as a bit more mischevious which is another thing that got reversed over time now astrids the prankster and eodwulfs the overworked mom friend because bren takes astrid’s ideas and makes them SO MUCH WORSE but he still looks better with longer hair and then i played around w/ colors for a while and wound up w/ this

voila, the initial kid concepts, to which subtle yet vital changes were  made after time. if any of you are curious about if im frustrated that that’s still the best i’ve ever drawn eodwulf’s nose the answer is yes. yes i am. 

astrid’s hair is not messy enough, theres not enough freckles, and she does not look ready to fight the entire world for a dare. 0/10. 

anyway then i did adult versions which look WAY OFF NOW LMAO 

eodwulf with way too much beard, looking far too messy when he ought to look very clean so that he can hide how much of a disaster he actually is, and also a glimpse into the very boring Ice Queen/Heartless Bitch we vaguely had astrid as to start with. even more out of character tho is the earring, astrid as she is today would absolutely never tolerate an earring unless she absolutely had to, girl’s got sensory issues but she didn’t back then. ALSO STILL NOT ENOUGH FRECKLE 

anyWHO a while after this it was decided that eodwulf has ADHD, something both the authors have a whole lot of lmao, and that was the point where ed REALLY took off and developing eodwulf went out of control and we both went Well I Guess We’re Gonna Have To Write This At Some Point Now

and with that happening is when developing astrid took more priority i think, because man, at that point in the game she came way too close to that really  annoying trope that shows up in fanfic a lot wherein The Girl is A Bitch who is Getting In The Way Of ~*The Yaois*~ and thats like, thats bad. we knew from the outset we were absolutely not setting this up as a love triangle because we both hate those but even w/ her having no romantic relationship to either of the two, like…she was kind of just There and the one who was most loyal to trent (the only thing of her original characterization that really stuck, honestly) and sooo boring???? 

so like, and i say this honestly, i managed to COMPLETELY FORGET that “reverse sasuke” cursed comment from the beginning of all this and STILL go “well what if we made her more like caleb’s rival that’d be fun” 

and that’s how astrid sorta wound up accidentally morphing into the Scrappy Underdog of this anime trio and calling her a naruto analogue is extremely cursed but also not inaccurate tbh 

started out with the concept of her popping into bren’s window because she heard they were doing magic and wanted to learn it too and evolved from there; we decided that she was gonna be neurodivergent too but, hilariously, initially that she was “the best at pretending to be neurotypical” (WE COMPLETELY REVERSED THAT AND IT IS FOR THE BETTER. SHE’S SO MUCH MORE FUN NOW) and made her also autistic because it one meant she could be like SAME HAT at bren really hard which’d make her feel more like part of the group instead of just the odd one out, and two because it fits with the whole rivals thing

branching off of that we made her just. INCREDIBLY direct. like. astrid’s thought process is “how can i accomplish what i want accomplished with the smallest number of steps? what are the consequences of doing it this way? do i give a shit? no? im gonna do that.” 

(which is why she climbed a tree to get into bren’s attic instead of using the door because that way she just completely skipped having to convince his mom to let her in)

i cant get into it much here because so many spoilers and we’re gonna explore it all, but like, astrid’s backstory turned into this exploration of the intersection of sexism and ableism especially as applied to a medieval-esque society in which the word “autism” doesn’t even EXIST and in which a convenient double standard exists Right There in the form of bren and like,, its gonna be good guys im excited for it 

as far as characters tho she does also have just a touch of Vimes from discworld to her, albeit like, she’s lawful evil to his lawful good, but she’s got the same tendency to stick REALLY FIERCELY to the rules that she thinks are important, even when they inconvenience her, even if it’d be so much easier to bend them just this once 

and for songs i cannot link like any astrid songs because they all might accidentally give away so much BUT I CAN LINK AN EODWULF SONG 

this one was HUGE for him 

uhhhh i think that’s everything i can think of that we can say right now unfortunately so i’ll end this with a comparison to the current teen designs we have now that are being used in the actual fic, even tho im not fond of how bren came out in this picture, but like, for the sake of comparison 

lets see how far we’ve come 

I N C R E A S E    F R E C K L E