#that is Very Untrue. he has a very complex character and he is the definition of 'little sh*t (affectionate)' and i love he

[nightcolorz]

in the books when Armand’s monstrosity and inherent violent nature is discussed or implied by other characters hes often compared to “the devil” or a demon, or an imp, smth like that. Which is part of why I think it’s so interesting how the current (amc iwtv) fandom takes that same concept and equates it with predatory wild animals, like tigers, sharks, stuff like that. On one hand the imagery of the devil is more vague (no one has any physical connection to the danger “the devil” poses), and it definitely gives an air of more mysterious power, but it also implies much more agency then an animal does. Devils are humanoid, they have complex thought, and tho they are inherently evil, they do evil in a way that is seen as calculated and malicious. Devils are scheming, clever, and they choose to hurt people bcus the inherent evil they have means that they enjoy doing it. Maybe the devil was born that way, or it was damned to be a devil, either way it has little choice in being an agent of evil. But it still chooses to participate in that role, it has the capability to choose, and to think through what it does, to understand why it chooses to do it

but for an animal, the imagery of comparing someone to a predator animal is very visceral, strikingly insulting. Predator animals r mindless killers 💀 they r built to hurt u, there is no rhyme or reason or way to train a wild animal, it’s going to kill u. But the main difference here is that an animal doesn’t kill out of malice or spite or a desire to hurt, a tiger kills to eat, a shark only hurts a human if it thinks the human will hurt it, or if it mistakes it for food. So in comparing Armand to an animal, it’s much more dehumanizing than comparing him to a demon, but maybe more correct? the implication is that when being compared to an animal, unlike a devil, Armand can not be reasoned with, and u r delusional to think he is capable of doing anything but killing u. Which is kind of mean 💀 but not untrue? The way Armand thinks and behaves is admittedly, very animalistic. He doesn’t reason with any sort of real empathy or human-like thought over why he should kill or hurt someone, he just kind of does it if he is afraid or cornered or hungry. Unlike a devil, Armand hurts out of a need. And it’s often misperceived need or misperceived threat that causes him to react with disproportionate violence, but to Armand, the way he sees it he is always acting out of need, even when the need is not in reality there. “I am going to loose this thing I need to live so I need to kill to prevent that”, etc. so I see the comparison, where when Louis is parading Armand around as his lover like a tiger on a leash, when he knows that Armand would kill him at a moments notice if he perceived him as a threat, or even if he needed to eat, that’s very “stupid human owns a tiger as a pet and acts like it won’t kill him” scenario. But!

there is smth I disagree with when it comes to the “armand is a big tiger” angle, in that armand is not a wild animal incapable of being tamed🙏 hes domesticated. I think armand is much more akin to a dog that was trained Wrong, like a reactive dog or a former fighting dog. A dog that had everything in it to be capable of being good and kind and gentle, but was trained into being smth violent, and has lost its capability of acting in anything but violence. He has the bones of smth that is trainable, he’s looking for a master to give him the orders, but despite this he still has been taught bite, kill, fight back, u will be hurt. So rlly, it’s more like, Louis has a reactive dog with a muscle on that is leaning into his touch and whining for his attention, a dog that once violently attacked him bcus the fear was triggered in its brain and the age old orders went off telling it to attack the threat

[myfairkatiecat]

Do you hate Fitz? (Do you think he has anger issues and was a bad bf to Sophie)

(Beacuse is you do your not alone🙃)

I don’t hate Fitz.

I think he is quick to anger. I think I can see in his character background how that became his default from years of bottled up emotions. He is a complex character.

I don’t think he was a perfect boyfriend. I think he wasn’t that bad on the whole, though he definitely had some very bad moments. I also don’t think Sophie was a good girlfriend to him. Their entire relationship really wasn’t good, but it’s not fair to pin all of that on Fitz.

I think a lot of people (less so here on tumblr) pin way too much onto Fitz and treat him like he’s evil when he’s really just a very complex teenager who doesn’t always make the best decisions. I think some people who like Fitz overcompensate and say he did nothing wrong which is very untrue, or say that the perception of him having anger issues is made up (which it isn’t—though I’m not sure if anger issues is what I’d call it). I think there’s a case to be made that he manages anger in an unhealthy way, but I don’t think it’s his main character trait and it only enhances my enjoyment of his character as complex.

The same people who flatten Fitz into some kind of villain are the ones who flatten Keefe into some sweet guy who is in love with Sophie. The balance is waaaay off, especially since they’re both good but flawed characters who care a lot and have unhealthy coping mechanisms. They’re interesting.

If you have something against interesting characters with both good and bad traits, this blog might not be for you.

[eastgaysian]

Sorry this is a dumb question but can you explain why tomshiv is not abusive? Shiv seems to hit a lot of textbook behaviours of emotional abusers

thank you for your follow up clarifying this was in good faith bc i checked my inbox yesterday right after getting high and was like man come on. don't do this to me. but yeah i can talk about it, it's obviously something i have a fair amount of thoughts on

on a fundamental level, i take issue with the assertion that there are 'textbook behaviors of emotional abusers' in the first place. distilling abuse down to a set of behaviors is, imo, effectively meaningless and totally unproductive. it's not the behavior of an individual that defines abuse, it's a specific and intentionally cultivated imbalance of power and control within a relationship. victims of abuse can and do resort to survival mechanisms that could be considered in isolation as 'abusive behavior', the point is that you can't consider them in isolation. there's a gulf of difference between the same actions when they're coming from a person in a position of significant financial or physical or social power over someone else, or when they're coming from the person at a disadvantage.

i think viewing abuse as a set of behaviors also encourages you to treat interpersonal abuse as if it's discontinuous with systemic abuse, which is inaccurate and unproductive. a key part of succession's premise is that, because the family is literally the business, the familial abuse within the roy family is inextricable from the broader systems of capitalism, patriarchy, and the sexual violence and abuse endemic to them. with regards to how the show satirizes and critiques these systems, i think it's very telling that all of the characters are to some degree complicit and/or participants in abuse, but logan is the only one i'd say is unambiguously and intentionally presented as 'an abuser' (whose abuse is not an isolated product of him as a person, but integrated into/inseparable from the capitalist system which persists after his death). still, logan isn't reduced to a one-dimensional angry, abusive dad, he's given depth and complexity. his continued insistence that he loves his children isn't treated as something that's untrue, but that doesn't make it inherently good, and it certainly isn't incompatible with him abusing them.

circling back to tom and shiv. their relationship is unhealthy, it's not good for either of them to be married, shiv does fucking awful things to tom and tom does awful things right back, i'm not questioning any of that. but at my most cynical and bitchy, what it comes down to is quite simply: shiv doesn't have enough power over tom to be abusive, systemically or personally.

the thing is sometimes you see people say 'wow, if the genders were reversed people would say tom and shiv's relationship is unambiguously abusive!' which... hrm, but really the issue is that. the genders are the way they are, that's for a reason, and yes, that does make a significant difference in how we perceive their relationship and power dynamics. tom holds very real and present power over shiv as a man and as her husband, proposing to her when she was vulnerable in a way that placed huge pressure on her to accept and then trying to get her to have his baby so he can become patriarch. shiv's the heiress with the legitimacy of her family name and generational wealth but she is continuously, unavoidably subjected to gendered discrimination and violence. she's never allowed direct access to real power - she has to rely on the men around her, her husband or her brothers, and if they don't feel like humoring her she's shit out of luck.

this doesn't cancel out like a math equation, but it definitely makes things much more complicated than shiv being an Evil Bitch Wife to her Poor Pitiful Husband. when shiv finally does push tom too far, he immediately, successfully, goes over her head to her abusive father to fuck her over. maybe shiv wants to be her father in her relationships and exert the same kind of control he does. but she doesn't and she can't! she does not have that power! she cannot stop tom from kicking back and his hits are significant. as much as she might like to pretend otherwise, tom not only has always had the power to leave in a way shiv doesn't, he had and has the power to fuck her up badly, and he's used that power. that is simply not the power dynamic between abuser and victim to me.

i also have to say that abuse is not always going to be definitive black and white. in real life there are plenty of unambiguous situations but there are also plenty of complicated situations, and applying judgments to fiction is not always straightforward. i can't exactly call someone 'wrong' for personally being uncomfortable with tom and shiv's relationship or believing shiv is abusive, but i'm very skeptical of the viewpoint and the motivations or assumptions that are often contained within. if shiv is abusive, she definitely isn't uniquely so among the cast, so you had better be applying that label and any associated moral judgments equally across the board.

[cannibalisticskittles]

okay, having now seen it in context, i remain convinced that the 12 lovers thing is bullshit. most of this is bullshit, in fact.

i mean, arrogant as he is -- and as much as he does enjoy speaking of the attention he gets from supposed fans -- the idea goes against how.... genuinely touched he seems all throughout his the beginning of his romance. not that that means that it's impossible for it to be true, but that would be quite a lot of effort put into maintaining a persona as a sincere partner while also still being a bit (read: a lot) of a self-absorbed shithead. like if he doesn't feel the need to hide the shithead part, why would he feel like he would need to come across as loyal to you, unless that part is also not really an act? why would he feel that putting on an act like that would be worth the effort?

(plus, i mean, bro needs you to battle an ocean of robots with him before he feels like he can agree to date you. from a logistical standpoint, what the fuck is he going to get 12 other people to match that kind of zeal for battle??)

anyway, that part's less important. just because i take umbrage at certain characterization doesn't mean that characterization is necessarily inconsistent. people are complex, characters are complex, maybe it really was all just an act in his romance, whatever.

the more important part is the fact that he's absolutely lying about most of what he's saying in this scene, if not all of it. grace even says she can't definitively sniff out whether he's telling the truth or lying throughout this despite her knack for it, to the point where she usually knows which part of what someone is untrue.

and we very quickly learned that he was lying about at least part of what he says immediately -- we discover that he was the one writing telegrams to miguel before coming to sandrock, which completely nixes everything he's saying about being fooled by miguel. so yeah, technically "ooh, i have 12 lovers who i keep separate and ply with gifts" COULD be true, but it could not be the justification for why he's working with miguel in sandrock; he was already working with duvos well before arriving in town. it very much comes across as a ploy to get you and grace to think of miguel as the source of all the blame by relying on his Very Well Known Persona/Reputation to concoct what feels to him like a an excuse you'll accept

anyway, do you know which part i think has the highest chance of actually having a grain of truth in it? this shit.

i think he's genuinely down to be called big daddy love sponge.

[isa-ghost]

hi! I'm a crow that loves talking in depth about q!Phil, good traits, bad traits and everything in between. :D With your last qsmp post, you said Phil isn't "emotionally dense," and I was kinda wondering if you could give me more of your perspective on that? I've always thought that, due to him having been isolated from hardcore for a long time, not reading/understanding emotions all that well is a big weakness of his (I think some ways people word this criticism CAN be borderline if not straight up ableist, so uh, use careful wording, people!). Couple that with him often refusing to address his own emotions/trauma, that can sometimes extend to how he might not be able to read other people's emotions well, either. I figured that him lacking emotional intelligence was a fair critique of his character, but given your post, I'd love to see your thoughts on that piece of criticism. if that's okay, of course!

You're in my notes a lot, you're familiar to me fellow crow. >:3c

I dug around for 900 years to find this post but this explains what I was talking about a bit more.

And yeah the Hardcore isolation is definitely a factor in things, I love that interpretation :D

Basically what I meant is Phil has emotional intelligence, unlike what some shitty takes have said. Phil is extremely observant, of course he can clock emotions and whatnot. He just. Doesn't entirely know what to Do in those situations. He's said he's not great at emotional talk. But he very much has Awareness of it. A lot of it boils down to the fandom being garbage at character analysis, media literacy, and the fact that a lot of bad faith Phil takes that are untrue come from people who don't like him and don't care to understand his character and its complexities.

Also he has chronic It's Fine I Can Handle It Myself I Can't Be A Burden On Anyone At All Ever disease so he doesn't open up about his own issues and emotions bc he thinks he needs to shoulder it all himself. And pair that with his insistence on helping others before himself constantly and yeah. There ya go. Bird Man is a mess. /aff

Specifically when it comes to Chayanne and his parenting, that post I linked is a way better elaboration basically.

[sterlingarcher23]

All for ONE and ONE for all

The lie of One... "It's never true"

The Musketeer chocolate bar clue is about the Musketeer's motto "All for One and One for all" - similar to the dialogs esp in S4, this chiasmus works in a similar way by referring AND containing several Ones or better: two of them. Like in Eleven.

All for ONE/1 and ONE/1 for all = 11

But it makes a distinction between the two Ones, they are separat but connected. Sounds familiar?

Brenner’s dialog initially refers to Henry/Edward as One but through Owens we also know that El is One.

- "I'm thinking...you are One of the good Ones."

Looking at Brenner’s "If you want to stop One" and compare it with the exchange between El and Owens ("Stop him - her") about Max it is clear that Max is also One although mirrored to Henry/Edward.

Max is part of the NINA project scenes even though she isn't visible there. Ruth has a population of 371 according to a 2020 census. And the letters are the initials of Running up that hill which is incidentally connecting El and Max. Ob, and NINA isn't just the name of a opera but also the name of the main character in Black Swan that shows signs of DID and makes out with her alter personality (more in an upcoming post).

Mirrors explained:

Like a shot of the Russian scientists on the left side looking to the right and the Americans standing on the right side looking to the left. (Don't have the pictures) Saying: they are similar but on the opposite side of the ideological spectrum.

Note that many scenes in Stranger Things are NOT parallels but mirrored shots and therefore meaning swaps. There are definitely similarities but also huge differences. Parallels can be mirrors but not all mirrors are parallels so to speak but the opposite. (As someone said once that Lumax and Mileven parallel each other in the opposite way. Yeah, that's a mirror.)

Just take look at of these this moment as an example for mirroring shots. With Brenner and Owens on the opposite side (which is also connected to Henry's and Max's dialogs down below) or in the scene with Kali, just with Max now in El's place on the opposite side of the frame.

Those are clearly mirrored shots. And there are literal mirrors used in a mirrored way as some pointed out - the problem comes with the way they are meant. In case of Kali, Max, El it is a positive association.

Semantics

Very similar to these scenes and the semantic differences that are screaming it into your face or to say it with the Master:

The first lines are more complex: He is blaming the world, while she defends her father.

The next one is interesting: A lie is deceptive, it's intentional falsehood. Things can be "Untrue" can be mistakes, errors, a misunderstanding but are not necessarily a lie.

And of course the "I", refering to One and egoism, while the "We" refers to two (Ones) and co-working/a team.

That's why One's dialog refers to "could" as a hypothetical and Max's "We"/Ones is definite. Egoism is doomed to fail, a team effort wins.

"Henry"/Edward is One =I = 001

Max is One. El is One. 1 & 1 =We = 011

And I think even V refers to Max as One in a line?

There are at least three Ones in this Game:

Visuals

One and One & One

And Max is actually wearing the number in question on her sleeves. Two white lines: II as in 0II or Eleven.

Or, just take a look at these images. One casts a long shadow, the other a mirror image with a walkie talkie nearby. The shadow is Vecna/Edward and the mirror image is El.

Thanks, Belloq.

In the newest game we have an artwork depicting "El" in a similar fashion.

Note that her mirror image has a split face and Max's mirror in the gym's floor is also "split" and since these two are shown having mirroring images, that connects these two Ones like their couple accessories of the blue hair tie and yellow watch.

Trophies

The trophy and first price isn't a reference to "One" as in "Henry" but to Max.

The Trophy shows a female character with wings, such as in "A wrinkle in time" Mrs Whatsit transforms into a centaur a horse like being with wings.

"A star that sacrificed itself to fight evil that became an astral traveler" - the writers even point to said character in their tweets.

- What

- Sit (writers)

- is that a command or a clue

- 🕵️‍♂️

What...sit

(the horse appears in the painting, Lucas who is actually a ranger on it, and in El's room is a unicorn too. As in One)

A winged female, a horse with the color coding of the blue hair tie and yellow watch. The victory can be achieved with the help of this winged being... Max. And El since she needs to fly. With Max.

El is One & Max is One = 11.

All for one and one for all.

[meraki-yao]

https://www.tumblr.com/meraki-yao/744553456721870848/you-answered-me-so-kindly-that-i-take-the-liberty

I agree with everything you wrote in your answer. There's no need to add anything else. I just want to give another little point of view: as much as I regret that in Rwrb there were no explicit scenes or more intimate scenes, I'm happy that it was edited like this, because people don't just talk about kisses or caresses, but also of Alex and Henry's speeches, of the story and of the message that the film sends. M&G had good intentions, to bring to light a dirty story of sex and power so clearly sex, orgies and everything else were at the basis of this project... but people only talk about Nicholas' butt and only the video in which he fucks with the other protagonists. I've read very few reviews of his acting performance, but plenty of the rest. And I believe that the same could happen in TIOY, considering that there has already been controversy over the theme of the film. Basically, I hope that Nicholas throws himself into different projects in the near future, where we focus more on the emotional aspect and less on the physical one... besides obviously the hope of seeing him again in the sequel to RWRB... I think Matthew is managed to make the most of it, so I hope they can get back to work together soon. Thanks for your possible response ❤️

I haven't quite looked into the reactions of M&G but from what I've seen on the Chinese side, you're right. There's a lot in M&G, it is a good show (it's not perfect but overall it's still good), but instead of the acting, the complex and detailed acting performance by the cast, or the costume and set design, the most thing talked about it how much sex there is.

But I would say that's the audience's fault, not the show, because all of the sex scenes in M&G were done with intent and either establishes character (see the opening of ep3 and ep7) or pushes the plot (see the last scenes of ep 2 and ep3). It's necessary. It's the audience's fault for solely focusing on "oh wow they're fucking damn". I would say the marketing feeds into that as well? If you looks at the posters the subtext of "this is a sexy show" is very obvious (George's costume, King James... drooling over him, George is literally named the seducer which true but ... eh) Even in the "describe the show in three words" most of the cast said "sex" which, okay, but also feeds the (untrue) narrative of "this is just a show about fucking your way through the court" I wish the media picked up on more than that. Actually, now that I think of it, in every interview the boys got to do for RWRB they get asked about sex and intimacy in a similar manner, even though for rwrb the focus is on the emotional aspect instead. So this might be a change the media needs to make.

We're not in a position to tell Nick what to do with his career though (other than obvious, definitive red flags that is) so we'll just have to see what steps he wants to take next. Plus even if for the audience it's just sex scenes, for him it's learning a genuine new skill on acting intimacy.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

corey where can i read the httyd books like asap

delfi my Absolute Beloved !!! i am Grinning So Widely holy trash

[also sorry i took so long to get back to you, i took a shower and was in there for like an hour mentally ranting about--that's not relevant and will probably make some people mad or something idk anyways--]

okay imma go in order of books so this is like. Major list for you 😁

how to train your dragon: pdf | audiobook

how to be a pirate: pdf | audiobook

how to speak dragonese: pdf | audiobook

how to cheat a dragon's curse: pdf | audiobook

how to twist a dragon's tale: pdf | audiobook

a hero's guide to deadly dragons: pdf | audiobook**

how to ride a dragon's storm: pdf* | audiobook

how to break a dragon's heart: pdf | audiobook

how to steal a dragon's sword: pdf | audiobook

how to seize a dragon's jewel: pdf | audiobook

how to betray a dragon's hero: pdf | audiobook

how to fight a dragon's fury: pdf | audiobook

bonus: a fun guide that's for teachers to use to teach the book but also has a lot of cool information about vikings as well as world building that i suggest looking at for funsies

*note: had trouble finding a legit / good pdf from six (how to ride...) onward, so those were the best that i could get and you should just be able to download most like the others ??? some websites seemed sketchy but i could be wrong. audiobooks are all completely safe tho

**note: this is weird because they repeat the story like twice ??? like it is the whole story and legit, but then it like starts over once it ends lol

so, the audiobooks are Incredible ! like. no joke. i actually relistened to them back in like. march / april / may, that area and i Loved it ! actually, fun fact, david tennant recorded them and he does a phenomenal job !!! he gets super into character and does different voices for everyone and is just all around Incredible ! they are a pleasure to listen to!

another thing i'll add is that cressida adds her own pictures and i'm pretty sure none of these include her pictures which is sad :/ but maybe some do ! the art is really cute ! she also includes things in the middle of the books like a guide on certain words or phrases and how to say them in dragonese or pages from hiccup's personal guide to dragon's book which gives you, the reader, more information about the dragons hiccup and the gang are facing, seeing, interacting with! the audiobook includes those, but idk about the pdfs!

i hope you enjoy them because these books were like. my childhood. i vividly remember that i once had a (poorly drawn) map hanging on my wall of the world in relation to berk and where all of the different viking tribes were ! the characters are all unique and quirky and wait also

do Not let the silliness of the first few books make you stop because they get so much more mature as they go on. not to make a harry potter reference because screw jkr, but like, you wouldn't put goblet of fire as the first hp book. you gotta work up to the genuine seriousness, you gotta introduce the characters and establish world building and that's what the first three, four, books does ! cressida is a super clever author too, and everything she writes matters, even if it's later on. it's incredible to watch the books mature, i remember reading every book as they came out and being blown away every time. i was just a kid, tho, so rereading / listening to them makes me gape sometimes because wow there are some serious / darker themes that are handled Really Well.

the books also have Incredible representation for their time, imo, especially with gender roles (which is even more impactful when camicazi comes in in book three) and disabilities (fishlegs is a Huge person here and i love him) (toothless also works here too because he has a stutter), amongst other things. and none of these things are ever made fun of in a way that seems legit. the people who make fun of them are the jerks or the villains or the people you aren't supposed to like. it's just. ahhhhh! they're so good and i have Many Feelings i could go on forever about how much i adore these books wow wow wow but i shall stop now so i do not spoil anything major because i am Great at accidentally spoiling lol

fun extra analysis posts i love under cut oops

x

x -- do NOT read this one until you finish the series because major spoilers but Great analysis

x

x to go along with x

x

x

x

not a post but just me here saying that camicazi is an aroace lesbian thanks and also hiccup is on the aro spectrum i don’t make the rules

okay i’ll stop there lol

[strqyr]

i rarely get annoyed by stuff enough to post about it but the whole "yang is nothing like raven" thing has apparently now reached that point. not only because it's blatantly untrue, but because it ends up screwing over the characterization of multiple characters.

like. yang not only shares personality traits and mannerisms and what not with raven, but qrow as well. i see people pointing out how ruby behaves so much like qrow and frankly you could point me on a map exactly where that happens and i still would not see it.

yet here we have yang, a walking, talking example of a branwen and it's like nah, let's give all these traits to tai or summer instead, because being compared to raven is the worst possible thing to happen... even though tai said he was proud of how much of raven he could see in yang.

ya know, yang's stubbornness, that very thing that has been pointed out as a similarity between her and raven? that's from summer now.

yang's anger issues, an emotion during which her eyes turn red? that's from tai.

speaking of red eyes, you know how whenever yang jumps in to protect someone at the last second, her eyes are always red? and how one aspect of raven's semblance is likely about portaling in right before someone she's bonded with dies? how qrow does the same thing, saving people right at the last second, sometimes at the detriment of his own safety, just like yang?

but hey, definitely not a branwen trait.

just... sigh. i love yang. i love raven and qrow. i love team strq and any speculation about their dynamics.

seeing their characters traits being passed around like it's free-for-all, because accepting these are complex characters who don't fit in a simple black and white boxes is apparently too far out there, is just incredibly... exhausting.

[notmuchofarolemodel]

music- sia’s movie

originally written on jan 24 2021

I can’t believe i’m writing about this. again.

So, if you didn’t already know, Sia directed a movie about an autistic girl, starring Maddie Ziegler. This is problematic for so many reasons, including the fact that Maddie is allistic (not autistic), Sia did next to no research on autism before directing the movie, and after announcing the movie, she took to twitter and attacked autistic people voicing their opinions. But she’s done so many more awful things since. So yay, article by me, the sequel. /s

Sia has done a few interviews over the last while about her movie and has responded to criticism about it. (very badly.)

Despite her claims, Sia was never going to cast an autistic actor in the first place. She said:

“I realized it wasn’t ableism [Casting Maddie]. I mean, it is ableism I guess as well, but it’s actually nepotism because I can’t do a project without her. I don’t want to. I wouldn’t make art if it didn’t include her.”

It was also found that Sia said had written a film for Maddie a long time ago- in 2015- which almost certainly means she never had any intentions of casting an autistic person.

The plot of the movie, and a clip have both been leaked since the release of the trailer in November.

‘Music’ falls back on harmful Hollywood sterotypes again, and again- but yet, after it was no longer fresh news, almost nobody but the autistic community was talking about it. It’s still set to be released soon this year, but stereotypes such as ‘autism = special/savant abilities’ as seen in Rain man, and ‘Autistic people don’t have feelings’ - are ones that lead to underdiagnosis, and biases in the professional world.

“We are particularly alarmed that Sia has said it would be ‘cruel’ to cast a nonspeaking autistic person as an actor. It suggests that she thinks that autistic people don’t understand our own lives and aren’t the people who should be telling our own stories. When people tell stories about autism that cut out an autistic point of view, when storytellers view us as objects to tell inspirational stories about, or when autism is treated as a narrative device rather than as a disability community full of real people, the stories that are told fall flat, don’t speak to our reality, and are often harmful to us.” -Zoe Gross, ASAN

Sia refused to refer to her main character as disabled, and only used the term ‘special abilities’ which just further proves how these sterotypes affect people’s view of autistic people. In today’s society, autism is a disability, and that’s not a bad thing. She also described the film as “Rainman, the musical- but with girls”

There are several meltdown scenes in the movie, and one of them has been leaked in a clip. In this, Music is having a meltdown in a park, and she is then held in prone restraint. Meaning she was jumped on top of and pinned to the ground. This was not only unnecessary, but potentially deadly. This film is going to be big, if it gets released, and it was very much made for a neurotypical audience’s enjoyment. People will likely see this movie, and think that restraining an autistic person is ok. It’s not. This is how people get killed. Recently a story came up about Eric Parsa, a 16 year old autistic boy who was killed at the hands of the police last year, after they used this ‘technique’ on him.

Regarding this scene Sia said, “If they [cinema-goers] watch the movie, it will allow them to touch into their compassion. That scene was so important to me, because of all the people staring. I felt compelled to put it in.”

This is why people need to listen and learn from actual autistic people. There’s so much dangerous misinformation out there, and it’s unacceptable. There is nothing ‘compassionate’ about harming people, and autistic people are people. i.e people who deserve the same rights and dignity as everyone else.

Sia continues to further dehumanize autistic people by constantly talking about ‘levels of functioning’. humans are impossibly complex, and there’s no one way to function. In an interview with Sia, nonspeaking autistic people are compared to ‘inanimate objects, like wigs’.

Sia also said “People functioning at Music’s level can’t get on Twitter and tell me I did a good job either.” This is untrue, firstly because, again- there’s no one way to function, and just because a person can’t speak, doen’t mean they don’t have a right to opinions, and feelings (and it definitely doesn’t mean they should be compared to ‘inanimate objects’), and secondly because many nonspeaking autistic people have taken to twitter and social media to tell her she’s done a bad job, she’s just chosen to ignore and insult them.

This whole thing is so infuriating, and it’s very obvious that Sia does not care about autistic people.

“Sia being ableist AF while claiming she meant well is some serious abled savior bullshit. I can’t believe so many people green-lit this project & the press team approved the ‘special abilities’ language. Disabled people clearly weren’t part of this production team.” -Kristen Parisi via twitter

She also claimed she decided to make the movie because she was inspired by a 16-year-old named Stevie that she met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. “Stevie used to sit next to me in the front row at my AA meetings. He was low-functioning and on the spectrum with echolalia; he’s the reason I wanted to make this movie,” she said. Autistic people don’t exist simply to be inspiring or make you feel good about yourself. We’re people, who just want to go about our lives, the same as anyone else- we don’t need a cure and we don’t need to fit people’s idea of what autism is, just let us be, please.

Finally, I’m just going to touch on the question ‘Why isn’t any criticism being directed at Maddie?’ This is because she likely didn’t have much say in the film at all. Keep in mind that she was only 13/14 at the start of this project. Sia also said Maddie was worried that people would think she was mocking autistic people. The film is a mockery of autistic people, but Sia is at fault.

“She had researched her role for two years, we watched movies together, and I taught her the nuances and ticks I had observed from [a] friend [with autism],” Sia said. “We did this in the most sensitive and respectful way.”

I can confirm that that is very much not sensitive and respectful- not to mention that Maddie also watched autism meltdowns as a part of her reseach too (filming a meltdown is incredibly dehumanizing) , but the fact that she learned how to ‘act autistic’ from sterotypes, taught to her by a person who just, doesn’t know anything about autism is awful, but also quite absurd. It makes no sense.

No, I do not wish to watch an abled-bodied actor wear my stims like itchy clothes. A caricature of my being.

No, I do not want to see her dance around in skin not her own, profiting from a life not her own.

No, I do not wish to support yet another film that will profit off the lives of disabled bodies without one disabled body involved. -tiffany hammond

I recieved quite a bit of backlash when I posted the first time about why casting a nondisabled actor for a disabled role is bad- from allistic people, so if any of you are reading this as nondisabled people- I literally do not care if you disagree, you don’t get to dictate how autistic people feel. Try a little harder to get out of your own head and see things from another person’s perspective xx

Now, for the love of God, please don’t watch this movie if it comes out in February, and listen to Autistic voices. : Here is a thread of positive autistic representation instead :)

click here for thread!

Sign the Petition

Filming & posting videos of children's autism meltdowns on YouTube is a clear violation of YouTube's community…www.change.org

link

Sign the Petition

Sia has announced she is directing a movie about an autistic woman, and claims she wants to represent the…www.change.org

all other relevant links are linked within the underlined text.

my original article - link

[joyandthephantoms]

please don't hint that you're capable of lies

Words: 1.3k

Rating: teen and up (for language)

Characters: Bobby Wilson, Luke Patterson

Pairing: Luke/Bobby

Summary: 

“Right, because it’s much better to hear me bitch about how my best friend spent 3 months slipping notes into my journal and walking me to class and sticking his tongue in my mouth because he pities me,” Luke spits.

In Bobby’s defense, this isn’t where he thought asking Luke out would land them.

(ao3 link in reblog)

“Seriously, dude, what the fuck?” Luke says. “How could you do that?”

Bobby’s fought with Luke plenty of times before—can’t even imagine what their relationship would look like without the constant push and pull that comes from being too stubborn and too proud and caring for each other too much—but he’s not sure that he’s ever made him this furious.

“You told me you liked me,” Luke says. “I didn’t ask, you just said—this was your idea. You made me think you wanted this.”

In Bobby’s (admittedly very weak) defense, this isn’t where he thought asking Luke out would land them. He’s not sure he thought about it much at all, just that he’d seen Luke, two weeks out of a bad breakup with a worse girl, making eyes at that asshole Michael from across the cafeteria, and he’d snapped.

The words were out of Bobby’s mouth before he had time to think about later or about whether or not this was a good idea at all or about the fact that he wasn’t actually into Luke and that might be a problem. “So, Patterson, are you gonna let me take you on a date or what?” As if they’d been talking about it the whole time. As if his reasoning was something beyond I can at least be a better boyfriend than Michael fucking Hoffacker.

What he should say now is “I’m sorry.” It’s “I don’t really know what I was thinking but I just didn’t want to see you get hurt again and I guess I figured this would only last a couple months before you found someone better and moved on so it wouldn’t matter anyway, but either way you’re right and I was an asshole and I should have been honest with you and I’m sorry.”

It’s definitely not: “I don’t know, maybe I was sick of hearing you bitch about people who clearly aren’t good for you all the time. Maybe I wanted a fucking break, okay?”

“Right, because it’s much better to hear me bitch about how my best friend spent 3 months slipping notes into my journal and walking me to class and sticking his tongue in my mouth because he pities me,” Luke spits.

It takes effort to not bite back again, to not say something else that he doesn’t mean—because he really didn’t mean it like that, didn’t mean it like caring about you is a burden, like it’s your fault they hurt you.

He’s trying hard not to do what he always does, acting like the asshole the other person wants him to be because it’s simpler for everyone that way. But without that, he’s lost, and he really has nothing to say for himself here. He’s stupid, he’s so stupid, and he should have thought this through for even half a second before he went and fucked everything up.

He wants to tell Luke he’s got it all wrong, that no, he does like him like that, he does now, but he can’t, because—because Luke isn’t wrong. Whatever Bobby feels now doesn’t make it untrue that he lied when he asked Luke out in the first place; it doesn’t make him less of a dick.

Every half-baked explanation and apology gets jumbled together and stuck in his throat and all he can get out is a too-quiet “I don’t pity you.”

“Then what? You were trying to protect me? I’m not a fucking kid, Bobby.”

Something twists in Bobby’s stomach, because how many times has Luke had this same fight with his parents? How many times has Bobby sat beside him and listened to him recount those fights and affirmed the same things he’s repeating right now?

He might be the worst friend on the planet.

Luke keeps talking. “Look, I get that I don’t—I’m not—I know I made some bad choices with who I dated, I know they sucked. But you and your savior complex don’t just get to swoop in and lead me on for months to try to fix me.”

“Luke, I—”

“How long were you gonna let me think it was real?” Luke’s an angry crier, and honestly, it’s a miracle they got this far without any tearshed. But his voice is thick now, his eyes wet and his jaw clenched tight.

It makes Bobby feel helpless, the way Luke’s looking at him. Hurt and angry and pleading, like he’s simultaneously begging Bobby to say something to make this right and daring him to speak another word. Bobby reaches for his hand, because it’s instinct, and because he’s an idiot.

Luke yanks it back, glaring at Bobby like he slapped him. “Forget it. Fuck this, I’m done.” He pulls his flannel a little closer as he ducks past Bobby to shove the door open with his shoulder.

He pauses halfway out and turns back. “You know that pretending your feelings don’t mean anything doesn’t make you a hero, right? It just makes you a different kind of asshole.” He wipes his eye with the heel of his hand. “Save me some trouble next time and don’t fucking lie to me.” He turns back around and lets the door fall shut behind him.

Bobby sinks onto the couch, buries his face in his hands.

Fuck.

It’s past midnight when Luke lets himself back into the studio. He didn’t want to come back at all, but it’s not like he had any other options. Going home is off the table, for obvious reasons; Reggie’s parents are . . . volatile, to say the least; and Alex’s will flip if they catch him with a guy in his bedroom.

He thought about staying out all night, chasing music and doing everything he could to push Bobby from his mind. But Bobby thinks he’s an idiot who can’t take care of himself, and Luke isn’t going to prove him right by going on a self-destructive spiral at the very first chance he gets.

So he’s back in Bobby’s garage. There are clean sheets on the couch and a stack of neatly folded extra blankets beside it, and every angry feeling comes rushing back because fuck Bobby for taunting him like this, like: Wow, see what a fucking perfect boyfriend I am? Too bad I don’t love you for real, huh?

There’s a note on top of the blankets. Luke’s tempted to crumple it up and toss it away without looking at it, but he knows there’s no chance in hell he’ll be able to sleep if he’s wondering about what it says. So he reads.

Luke,

I fucked up. I’m sorry.

I don’t have an excuse for lying to you. I was an idiot because I didn’t want to see you get hurt again, and I hurt you, and I’m sorry.

I’m not trying to make this about myself, but you were right that ignoring how I felt made me an asshole. You know I hate being sappy, but I owe it to you to at least tell you that none of this is pretend.

I started everything out all wrong, but I meant it when I said your energy is magnetic, onstage and off, and I meant it when I said that being around you makes me feel like I belong in my own skin, and I meant it when I kissed you last night and the night before that and the night before that.

You don’t have to give me a second chance. You don’t have to ever talk to me again. But I wanted to make sure you had the facts straight first. So. Now you know.

Ball’s in your court.

Love, Bobby

Luke stares. He didn’t know Bobby Wilson was even capable of that much vulnerability at once.

He groans and shrugs his flannel back on, because he needs to go have a long conversation with his boyfriend.

[ginjointsintheworld]

Tbh, I think the writers have handled not this donation situation well. This is what happens when you create a contrived conflict for the sake of drama. You rarely have a concrete plan to let things develop organically.

There's a meltdown in the fandom, expect lots of ranting from me and others. L

They've squeezed in so much between 4x09 and now because they took too long bringing it out into the open. Now they hurt two characters which is unfair.

Leyla is basically throwing her life away unless someone "talks some sense into her" Residency spots are not so easy to come by and she's giving up two spots already. I'm quite pissed, not at Leyla but at the Dean for his bias from the beginning and to see no mention of it in all this makes me angrier.

Leyla has an inferiority complex and I'm sure not getting the slot in NA has only contributed more to it. She's needs therapy and I don't trust this show to really dive into it.

PS: I'm going to be doing lots of ranting today. I'm sorry in advance, because I'll probably spam your inbox. 😬😉

It's truly going to take some unexpected twists and turns for Leyla to come back to NA. Giving up her residency spot is a big deal. Ngl, I think she's probably going to do her residency in another hospital because I don't know how they are going to bring her back.

I'm gonna brace up for a LDR and an extended Leyla disappearance.

I don't like how this story is painting Lauren as the villain who messed up a woman's life for her selfish gains to the casual viewers. People are quick to demonize her and it seems the writers are playing into their hands, it's just not fair.

She's suffered enough, you 'sadistic' writers.

Rant ended.

oh this plotline is definitely contrived through and through and if i had any say in the matter, i would've kicked the writers' asses before a single brain cell of theirs could ever wander into this idea. but alas, here we are, stuck with it.

unfortunately this hammer drop reveal was never going to happen any sooner than the midseason finale and you're right, it does leave us with limited room in terms of the back half to get into things, especially with leyla disappearing for chunks of episodes. but another thing to consider is... maybe this drags into s5? and 4b ends with them in a hopeful place rather than totally mended and we'll build back into that for 5a. so i guess in these scenarios it's almost a pick your poison, trust the writers to effectively, acceptably, get things resolved in 10 episodes (remaining) or have patience and give them more leeway to work with.

i'm tentatively hopeful that the writers are exactly aware of how they've written leyla with her own set of flaws instead of a character just being wronged. which, let's be clear, she was. but roxana saying that she and the other residents who are friends with leyla, are worried she's throwing her future away, floyd making it clear in his story about nottingham that he came to realize nottingham, one of the best cardio surgeons NA has, was rightfully talented despite getting a spot via donations, the fundamentally untrue things leyla said about the food and clothes in their last conversation, are signs of acknowledging that leyla's reaction is... well kind of an extreme one. i think it was significant that roxana's reaction to leyla quitting was essentially 'woah girl pump the breaks.' now how deep the writers get into this, if at all, still remains to be seen. and for sure, i ABSOLUTELY, like would bang down their doors and debate them, would like for them to more frankly acknowledge that leyla was unfairly discriminated against by a nationalistic system and mindset at NA. a mindset, btw, that max should have, would've been horrified to learn about. hell, i think it's very ironic that in this week's episode, helen was gushing about a candidate for her deputy medical director position who practiced at the afgan border when meanwhile across the ocean, leyla, a fully trained doctor who practiced in refugee camps, gets her application dismissed for a RESIDENCY spot. like. okay. but i don't think it's been as definitively, 'DONATION BAD, LAUREN BAD, LEYLA RIGHT' as it sometimes feels.

and that's another thing i wonder about, the writers intent vs the casual viewer's perception. because do the casual viewers think what lauren did is that evil or that she's a villain? it's certainly not the pulse of the entire viewership but i did scroll through the NA official IG account that asked captioned the post asking whether what lauren did was wrong and tbh i thought the responses, filtering out the obvious leyren fans, were pretty fair, leaning sympathetic. which is that lauren had good intentions and shouldn't have kept it from leyla. now opposing shippers who for some reason have beef, lol, are certainly more vocal in their.... perspectives. but are they really the baseline? if i'm honest, in my (very biased) opinion, i don't think the writers are trying to paint lauren in an unsympathetic light. they've certainly had her called out for what she did but with casey's reaction, i think you had almost a counterbalance with floyd's experience with nottingham. because they could have just a easily made it a random resident floyd encountered during his years in cardio and never found them redeemable. after all, he is the upstanding, moral character.

we know for certain that leyla plans to seek residency elsewhere, how that plays out, how far it plays out before she gets thrown back into the wild world of new amsterdam hospital, remains to be seen. but she will, in some way, brought back into the fold. if the writers do go the LDR for lauren and leyla, i have to think it's with some kind plan to reincorporate leyla eventually into NA. otherwise the writers are limiting themselves on an important part of lauren's story. but again, we'll see. i try not to speculate too much into the future because it'll drive me bonkers LOL. there are like 8 of those little bastards in a room writing, who knows what'll shake out.

and my friend, my inbox is always open for your rants! i may agree, disagree and every range in between but i hope you know it's always out of love and the spirit of fun discussion.

[monsterlovinghours]

I had another Zoom call with Alex today

-Holy shit, every time I think I can't possibly love him more, I find out how untrue that is. I would absolutely take a bullet for this man.

-He asked how I've been (pretty sure he remembered me), and I told him that I'd taken my first day off in like almost two weeks, on National Pretzel Day (I work at Auntie Anne's), to talk to him.

-He said that he was just talking about Auntie Anne's last night and how funny that was, then he noticed the cup I was drinking out of was from Fuzzy's, and he went "No way! My brother in law and I were talking about that restaurant like twelve hours ago! This was meant to be."

-I mentioned the towns I grew up in and how my hometown is the biggest meth trafficking city in the state. He laughed and said something like "This is the first time I've ever talked about meth in one of these calls."

-I GOT TO SEE KEVIN!! HE WAS SLEEPING ON THE COUCH AND HE WOKE UP WHEN I SAID HI!!!

-My phone was on quiet when he was talking and it kept going off, and when I apologized and turned my sound off, I mentioned my notification ringtone was Fizz. He laughed and went "No, turn it up! I wanna hear!" So of course it went off again like three minutes later while he was talking, and he thought that was really neat, he was like, "I never imagined I'd be a ringtone." I told him that my sound for calls was The Whole Being Dead Thing, and he was like, "That's super flattering, I feel like I'm somehow a part of you, and I love that!"

-I showed off my collection of Funkos (I was sitting in front of my collection), and he thinks they're neat; he also mentioned he has the same Beetlejuice plushie that I do, and that he has like a thousand Beetlejuice Funkos because when the show got popular, people kept sending them to him.

-He also complimented my Keatlejuice shirt.

-We told bad jokes. He's a fan of dad jokes and bad puns and I love that for him.

-The trash truck at my apartment complex startled him; its very loud and my window was open and he goes, "Did someone just explode outside of your apartment??"

-We talked for a good while, but he was very nice about also answering any questions I had, which were:

-Is it more difficult emoting a character when you're voiceacting and don't have physical characteristics to use? (He said it definitely is more constraining, and that for the most part you don't have the context of what the other actors are doing to go off of, just half-finished animatics, but that he gets to go to work in his sweatpants and that its nice that he can take as many takes as he needs to get a line right) -A song that gets you hyped (Stargirl by McFly), a song that makes you sad (If I Ever Say I'm Over You by John Bucchino), and a "Nazi scalping" song (Bulls on Parade by Rage Against the Machine). -If you could take a physical prop home from LooLoo Land, what would it be? (the Frog with Human Teeth animatronic, which funnily enough was my answer too) -Any backstage rituals or superstitions? (No superstitions, but he's mindful of those that have them. He has 3 rituals; make the rounds after getting into costume and makeup to see who's on that night and to check everyone's wellbeing, listen to podcasts or standup while getting into character, and reminding himself and his cast members just before they go onstage that for someone out there, this is their first show, so make it a good one). -What's a funny Kevin story you have? (Once Kevin snuck into the office and somehow closed the door, and Alex and his wife were panicking for an hour because they couldn't find him; Kevin was perfectly chill and couldn't figure out what the big fuss was all about. He also told a story of Kevin, who hates water and being wet, diving headfirst into a dirty public pond to chase ducks. I love this dog more than life itself.)

-All in all, though the Zoom chats are only meant to be like 30 minutes, we ended up talking for almost an hour! He said he wanted to see the gif I made of him doing the Shrimp Squad hand gesture from the Instagram livestream, and that he loves it every time the Shrimp Squad is brought up.

-also he thinks I'm cool?????? which is like???? this is it I've achieved peak existence

-Absolutely going to do this again, and next time I'm going to make sure I have my roommate with me; they deserve a chance to say hi and to speak with him, and I've talked about them so much he actually wants to meet them.

[ispyspookymansion]

sam (winchester) <3

How I feel about this character

SAM IS MY BEST FRIEND. SAM WINCHESTER IS MY BESTIE HE IS MY EVERYTHING. he has never done anything wrong he is unwell he has so many complexes he is lgbt all at once i imprinted on him at age 13 like a baby duck and he will never leave my heart or mind <3 he is UNDERAPPRECIATED and not understood by many spn fans and too many sam stans are freaks so i pick up the slack by being completely insane over him but also not a weirdo

All the people I ship romantically with this character

okokok i love saileen they are so fucking good for each other she is a badass and she is so sweet and calls him on his shit and shes funny and they make each other happy they literally could have settled into a life together. next we have rowena who is so incredible good for her for having sam strain winchester derangement i love that sam turned crowley down with a hard no and then fucked his mom about it. their entire storyline is so sweet and compelling and yes before you ask saileena is also incredible. samruby fucks as a toxic relationship within the bounds of canon i love it and dont want it to exist outside of that/feel the need to give it a redemption or anything

My non-romantic OTP for this character

sam and cas weird girl bestie moments i think they should just be SO fucking weird together. they are individually quite rational and smart usually but i think together they would do shit like hey lets see what happens if you drink angel blood :) also i think that in good spn sam mentors magda and that is very good in my mind

My unpopular opinion about this character

i think that while sam’s arc got less interesting and jared’s acting did get worse after ~s5, to say that sam has nothing after that is blatantly untrue and you CAN find the compelling gems if you look hard enough. also he isnt the token cishet you stupid assholes look at his studded denim shirt look at his gay little auras look at his obsession with being impure he is lgbt (all at once)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

i really really wish sam’s ending had been better of COURSE but specifically i love sam becoming a witch and also a leader like. i think hunting as an institution needs to end and i think that sam should go full witch, set up the bunker as a hub for academic and practical resources (especially for monsters he is going to break down the horrible roles and actually try to make right what has been wrong), and start trying to contact, connect, and organize hunters for the purposes of making “hunting” into a neater and kinder system that actually aims to protect and help those who need it. being a witch is instrumental because it by DEFINITION blurs the line between hunteer and monster and forced the redefinition of good and evil. and yes he DID get his psychic powers back because fuck you witch shit helped him tap back into it

send me a character!

[heeytwelve]

A mundanity that creeps into your very soul

Insidious Humdrum is he most intriguing and controversial character in Simon Snow books. It also one of the main characters of “Carry On” book, and, (as unpopular opinion) - he is still appears in “Wayward Son” - he mentioned by Simon, Agatha, Penny, Baz multiple times as nightmarish memories. 

I believe Humdrum will make his appearance in third book and I want to dig on why he is so important in “Carry On” set and why Simon might be not quite done with him.

Humdrum is “official” antagonist of the first book, the prophesy which gave Simon “The Chosen One” title also implies that his only mission in life is to banish the Greatest Threat of World of Mages.

It’s important to notice that Simon himself is not really invested in fighting Humdrum, he strangely detached from his life mission:

“When the Humdrum comes after me, I fight him. When he sends dragons, I kill them. When you trick me into meeting a chimera, I go off. I don’t get to choose or plan. I just take it as it comes. And someday, something will catch me unawares or be too big to fight, but I’ll fight anyway. I’ll fight until I can’t anymore—what is there to think about?”

Excerpt From: Rainbow Rowell. “Carry On.”  Think about it - he never create strategies, he never tries to understands what is it he tries to fight with, he never initiate the battle, he accepts battles, when he can’t avoid them.  You’d think that he just escalate this part of job to The Mage, but then, (say to compare with HP) he doesn’t exactly bothers The Mage with questions or he doesn’t try to find out what Humdrum behaves like this and what is he plotting. 

Oh, yes, plotting. See, we could say  - you know, Simon is just like this, he’s quite passive, he hates to think or take action, but it’s untrue. Simon, in fact, has 3 antagonists: first one is Humdrum, which was given to him, second one is Mage (which as Voldemort in HP both created him and destroyed) and third is the only one antagonist he actually chose - Baz, the handsome vampire. Because Simon chose him (and Baz accepted). it is this antagonist he is really fighting and very passionate about: he thinks about his plotting every day, he cracks his secret/superpower, he finds his weakness and “defeats” him. Simon is capable of active fighting, thinking and strategising.  

WHY Simon is so NOT invested in fighting Humdrum?

Let’s take a look at Humdrum and Simon, using Penny’s method, aka - what do we know, here I gathered a small table of data for these two:

So clearly, you can see that Humdrum is very unusual antagonist. Yes we can see that like in many pairs protagonist-antagonist there are a few opposite qualities of them, and it’s normal, it is trigger to fight dynamics. But at the same they are sort fig leaf to hide from Simon (or reader) who Humdrum really is.  Humdrum - is Simon’s doppelgänger. And that is VERY important, let’s look at this from writer point of view, it is not your usual antagonist-just-a-person-who-have-opposite-beliefs-or-hates-you-for-some-reason. This antagonist is VERY attached to protagonist, he is in fact his continuation. 

WHY would you want to write exactly this type of antagonist, what do you want to say?

I have multiple answers to go through.

1) To show Simon’s complexity. To show _protagonist_ complexity and somehow preserve the certain image of him. In “Carry On” Simon (at least for me as a reader) associated purely with soft and positive features, he is the definition of the good and kind hero. Yes, he’s impatient and short tempered, but he is empathic, he is thoughtful, he cares about most of the people around (he protect and shield his _chosen_ enemy, Baz. He won’t end him without second thought when he finally has opportunity - the scene in catacombs), he doesn’t hold grudges or avenge betrayal, he always tries to think above the things, see the whole picture, kinda look past himself. It is very high EQ and it is my dream character. But realistically for kid who had no one to raise him to love and understand people; with tough childhood - it is impossible to have no dark sides. Again, remember how annoyingly for reader neurotic HP would be in books? Well, guess what, his dark side is still in a book, it’s just detached from him, to not spoil his image for reader. Perhaps, because at this point (introducing the character) his dark sides are not allowed to make impression and they are not important YET. 2) To allow protagonist to do things he want to do, but can’t. This is “Jekyll and Hide” type of protagonist and yes, this is fair for Humdrum too. He destroys things and doesn’t feel bad about it. He “mundane” and again, he doesn’t feel bad about it. He doesn’t have to go to magic school and still - he is known, strong, dangerous. But most importantly - he can express his negative feelings. He is unhappy to be forgotten - he attracts attention (quite brutally); he is unhappy to be the only one who left to deal with trauma - he reminds about it - he summons Simon exactly at the place where bad things were happening (Lancashire) and he takes the form Simon probably tries to push away from his mind; he dislikes Mage - he talks to the Mage harsh and dismissively and laughing at him; the only people which Humdrum snatches/damages away from Simon are Agatha and Baz - it might be some sort of jealousy expression, and surely he express his jealousy about Simon’s skill and development. And IF he really hates the magic - he sure express his hatred good too, by literally destroying and he allows himself to feel pleasure from act of destruction (the face expression Simon never saw on his own face). And often, this reasoning for introducing doppelgänger goes with implying that protagonist has hidden desires to not be as good as he currently is. What doppelgänger does, it is what protagonist secretly desires to do.

To sum this these 2 points  - they _usually_ lead us to the point that protagonist is not as good he thinks he is. And while it is partly true - I believe, it is NOT Humdrum purpose. 

3) While Humdrum is surely threat to magic, is he Simon’s antagonist, really? Does he hates Simon? Do his actions have purpose to destroy what Simon have/created? It is a big no, to all these questions. 

Humdrum is metaphor for Simon’s trauma, he tries to shove away from himself.

Many people talk about Humdrum in the book, but most informative are - Penny, Mage and Baz, Simon and Humdrum himself.

Penny, I believe, is an author’s reflection in the book, so her words are clues), and she tell us - that Humdrum face is his real face (he is Simon), he’s childish and Simon’s dealing with negative emotions frustration/fear/annoyance/going off brings him joy (genuine childish laugh). She also tell Simon, the reason why he have to fight Humdrum - cause he the only one who can (and have to) do it.  Which is true. Mage - who is the real Simon’s antagonist and evil in the book - is the one who setups the reality “Humdrum is evil, you have to fight it”. Which can be easily translated to “Your feelings/experiences are not valid, you have to get rid of them”. He also setups example of not being important as a person, but being important as a weapon, to sharp your blade constantly if you wish. 

“Look at me, Simon. Have you ever known me to indulge myself with a normal life? Where is my wife? My children? Where’s my house in the country with my cosy chair and a fat cocker spaniel to bring me my slippers? When do I go on holiday? When do I take a break? When do I do anything other than prepare for the battle ahead? 

Excerpt From: Rainbow Rowell. “Carry On.”

Again - it translates to these old methods of dealing with trauma: fight it, ignore it, experience more trauma to make yourself numb. It doesn’t work. Mage doesn’t care about Simon. But in a way, Simon follows his instructions.

Baz - he is the symbol of healing love Simon needs (one of his defining quotes is “I chose you” - returning Simon everything what was taken away by Mage at that point)  he have experienced Humdrum only one time, but it’s enough for him to figure it out precisely. He understands that Humdrum is Simon (or his part) and he does not hesitate to confront Simon with it, because it is important. And he the one who tell Simon the aftermath of ignoring Humdrum. Baz is the one who - finally - triggers Simon to act. He also the first character who sees Simon (and Humdrum) and accepts them as whole. And still loves him.  Simon - he doesn’t talk about nature of Humdrum a lot. He hardly bothers to describe fighting scenes in a past. But he clearly indicates how he avoids Humdrum, thinking about Humdrum, thinking about time he will need to deal with it. He doesn’t want to have any touch points with it, even when he’s confronted about it. He shouts at Humdrum when he sees his own face on him, but he never thinks that Humdrum is him. Because it’s all painful. Humdrum - is pain he released and locked himself out of it. That is why he reluctant to deal with Humdrum, though it his life mission. He only do it if he have HAVE TO. And then - he will take the pain/fear/negatives and lock it in Humdrum again (make magic holes bigger) and leave. So he can stop thinking about him again. And finally, Humdrum. He thinks a lot, he has time for it. And he know exactly who he is. And when Simon is ready, when Simon’s is finally ready to face him by his own will, he tells him who he is:

“It’s the Humdrum,” I say. “It’s you on the day I found you.” His eyes are wide and soft. “My boy—” “I’m not him,” the Humdrum says. “I’m not anybody’s boy.” “You’re my shadow,” I say to the Humdrum. I’m not afraid of him now. “More like an exit wound,” he says. “Or an exhaust trail—I’ve had loads of time to think about it.” “The Insidious Humdrum,” the Mage whispers. “It’s a crap name,” the Humdrum says, bouncing his ball. “Did you come up with it?”

Excerpt From: Rainbow Rowell. “Carry On.” 

He is willing to talk about himself and all this scene he is strongly communicating on Simon’s side, but not on Mage’s. He behaves like he is Simon’s ally and they have the same goal. He’s open about his wishes (to evolve, to be like Simon, to be the one with Simon), he is open about what happens if Simon’s continued to follow the Mage’s instructions ( “He’s right. End everything. All of the magic.”). 

The scene of dealing with Humdrum doesn’t feel like Humdrum eliminating, but more like becoming one with him, finally accepting what was shoved away, belated debts payment. It is very sad but beautiful scene.

“I’m sorry that all the good stuff happened after I left you.”

“The Humdrum puts his hands over mine and gives me a small nod. His jaw is set, and his eyes are flinty. He looks like a little thug, even now. I nod back. I give it all to him. I let it all go.”

At the end - Humdrum and Simon became one, like it was before Simon first went off and got his magic at 11 year. Now he back to the same state and next book he is dealing with trauma (not the way he should, unfortunately). 

Maybe the key of getting powers back is to learn how to live with Humdrum and not ignore him. To accept yourself, to find yourself. Maybe use Humdrum powers too. “Someday dragon. Someday ferocious.”

p.s. The negative power of sucking off magic reminded me about Dementors in HP a bit, in a way, that’s what made me think about Humdrum as trauma or depression. At the same time, sometimes, Humdrum would show us, that he is still a doppelgänger of Simon’s and have the same thoughts  - like his phrase about “it’s it better than fighting” about Baz is quite the same as Simon’s.

[aot-snk-4238]

SNK Meta Part 2: Ymir

In my previous post, I talked about my feelings regarding Historia's character this final arc. Now I'm going to talk about Ymir, her relationship with Historia, and my feelings about her send-off.

Was Ymir a good character?

In my eyes, yes. When she was first introduced, it was clear that she had feelings for Historia, making her one of the only canon queer characters in the series (assuming Historia reciprocated those feelings, which I'm pretty sure she did). She also appeared very snarky and cynical, but us readers came to learn later on that there was a much softer, sensitive side to her deep down that Historia would be the first to witness. These revelations, including her backstory, helped flesh out her character in a way that made her very interesting and mysterious for me. I especially loved how sharp and intuitive she was. I'm going to quote the wiki on this part, because I think it does a great job explaining her impressive observant abilities. "Ymir was extremely perceptive and could discern the nature of the people around her with alarming accuracy, such as Historia's martyrdom mentality, Reiner's split personality disorder, and Sasha Blouse's desire to look good in front of her peers by hiding her native accent and developing an extremely formal way of speaking. Due to her experiences and belief in self-pride, she tended to rudely criticize people for being untrue to themselves. Furthermore, Ymir was very reasonable, as she knew what to do during her kidnapping situation and reconsidered her options to accomplish her goals." I also enjoyed her interactions with other characters besides Historia. Take Connie, for example. When he lamented over the possibility of his mother being stuck as a mindless titan, Ymir tried to distract him, albeit not in the most appropriate way (ch. 38).

Connie complained about this behavior later on, but Historia defended her, explaining that she was only trying to stray his thoughts from that traumatic discovery. There were a few more moments between these two that were fun to see as well.

😂😂😂. Ymir's looking at him like, "You ruined it, Connie..."

I love the way she pats him on the head. Knowing how much taller Connie's gotten I don't think she'd be able to do that anymore.

This becomes one of the many times that Connie calls her "ugly" when she's in her titan form. Too bad she couldn't talk very well as a titan or else she probably would have had a smartass remark to throw back at him. It's looking back on scenes like this where I wish we could have gotten more out of these two. You can tell she cared for Connie and I know he also cared in his own way.

We only saw her together with Eren once when Reiner and Bertholdt captured them, but it was very interesting to see their perceptions of each other.

Eren found Ymir to be mysterious and wasn't sure if he could trust her, which isn't surprising considering this was the only time they ever spoke to each other. One detail that he couldn't miss, however, was Ymir's undying determination to protect Historia, a goal they would both come to share later on. Meanwhile, Ymir couldn't trust Eren because she found him to be too reckless and hot-headed.

These were my favorite qualities from Ymir, although to this day I still question the rationality of leaving Historia behind considering the situation she's currently in. Historia herself called her an idiot after reading her goodbye letter. Now that I've covered my reasons for liking Ymir as a character, let's move on to her relationship with Historia.

Ymir and Historia

I've loved these two together since the beginning for their complex and amusing dynamic. On the surface, you had the selfish, confrontational tomboy and the girly, kind and beautiful goddess. But underneath were two young women who were dealt a dirty hand early in their life and lead empty lives as a result until they found each other. Their story arcs throughout the Clash of the Titans arc were beautiful and complimentary, and it's part of the reason why it's actually my favorite story arc in the series. Everything from Ymir seeing through Historia's charade and urging her to live her life with pride to Historia telling Ymir her real name and the two of them fighting side by side in chapter 49 was some of the most empowering moments for me and I will forever cherish those parts of the story.

Ymir's departure

And now the part I've been most excited to talk about! Ymir's glorious, memorable and emotional departure.

Her ending...was not what I expected it to be. She left Historia at the very last second and gave herself away to the enemy because she felt guilty for something that was not her fault. Now as we know, Ymir is selfless at heart and she felt indebted to Reiner and Bertholdt for inadvertently helping her return to her human form after 60 years of wandering the earth as a mindless titan. She also decided that Historia might be safe after all after learning that Eren possessed the coordinate. I understand all of that, but what I don't understand is...well...everything else.

This was Ymir's last real appearance. We see that Ymir has willingly chosen to accompany Reiner and Bertholdt back to Marley to give up her titan powers at the cost of her life. Many people weren't so sure if that was truly the last of her though, because her death was not explicitly confirmed for a long time. We spend the next 33 chapters hoping to get something more, and then this happens...

A glimmer of hope. Finally there's a real chance we'll hear from her again, and it's got a lot of people buzzing with excitement. Sure enough, we finally get to see what's in that letter a few chapters later and are given Ymir's backstory. Here's where the disappointing part comes, though. Ymir makes it clear at the beginning of her letter that she will be dead by the time Historia receives it, meaning that this is the only goodbye they're gonna get. The last time they saw each other, Ymir wasn't even in human form. Instead of a proper goodbye, all we get is a short letter. The anime even tried to fix this by giving us Ymir's backstory earlier, but by doing that, her letter was cut short by a lot. All that was really left was, "Hi babe, sorry I left you like that. Oh well, I'm about to die anyway. Sorry we couldn't get married." And then this happened:

Historia touches Ymir's letter and is suddenly bombarded with visions of Ymir's past, including her chained up and about to be eaten. That is definitely not what happened in the manga and its honestly very confusing to me. How was she able to see all of that just by touching the letter? I get that she has royal blood and was able to access memories when she touched Eren, but Eren is a human who just so happens to possess the founding titan. The letter is just a piece of paper. Also, I'm guessing the last thing Historia saw was Ymir chained up so that there will be no need to bring her up again like Reiner and Porco did in chapter 93. I don't blame the anime team for making that change because I'll be honest, when we saw that one panel of her in her death chamber it felt very out of nowhere and I had a hard time concentrating on the rest of the chapter after that. So here are my main problems with her death:

1. It was off-screen

If I recall correctly, Ymir is the only major character in the series whose death was off-screen. All we got were her final moments, and there wasn't even any dialogue. That part especially bothered me because you can see that Ymir and Porco are looking at each other and Ymir's mouth is slightly open, implying that she's speaking. But what was she saying? You seriously don't mean to tell me that they both just sat there and stared at each other the whole time. She must have had some last words, but for some reason we never got to know what they were. At one point I even thought that Historia and Porco might cross paths at some point and he would be able to give her closure that way but no. No closure, just a last minute goodbye letter and a glimpse of her final moments that I now consider completely useless and unnecessary because we never got more out of it. I mean really, we even got closure and an on-screen death for Marco for crying out loud. Why give him that kind of attention and not Ymir? Not to mention one of the more recent guidebooks. Her character has the diceased sticker and it talks about how she went back to Marley with Reiner and Bert, but that's it. Not even the guidebook makes it clear what happened next. Yeah she died, but did anything else happen before then? That's what I wish we could have gotten more details on like, I don't know....her final words???

2. It was anticlimactic

We didn't get enough focus on Ymir's point of view after leaving Paradis in order for her death to have any kind of lasting emotional impact. As I mentioned above, it just felt out of place and messy. There was nothing memorable about her death either. It was quite simple and boring.

3. It contributed to an ongoing literary issue that has anti-LGBTQ roots

Yep. I'm talking about the infamous Bury Your Gays trope. Now before I go any further, I am not accusing Isayama of being anti-LGBTQ, I'm just shedding some light on something that's been continuously repeated in countless forms of media, not just anime and manga. Truthfully, I hadn't heard about this trope before reading Attack on Titan, but when I did hear about it, it only made Ymir's death even worse for me. I'm not surprised that it exists and I realize that this is a manga where death is inevitable, but keeping both women alive in the end would have certainly been very refreshing. At this point, all I could ask for is that Ymir and Historia get to see each other one last time. Obviously since Ymir is dead it will have to be through other means and I don't care how it's done. It can be in a dream, a vision or through Paths (which I think would work best). Seriously, there's nothing I've been more curious about than how Ymir would react to Hisu's current predicament and what she would say to her. It would just be great for them to have one last conversation face to face because for me, the letter just wasn't enough. Of course I'm hoping for too much, though. We've only got 1-2% of the story remaining, leaving no room for further closure. It's disappointing and frustrating, but no story is perfect. I'm grateful for the content that we did get, but I hope one day I can find a story like this one where the queer characters get to live for once. I'm aware of other shows like Steven Universe, Adventure Time and Yuri on Ice that give them good endings, but those shows are much friendlier towards younger audiences and aren't nearly as dark and grim.

Conclusion

Ymir was a very intriguing character while we had her, but her death was unsatisfactory and only left us with more questions. I am not going to trash Isayama for it, but I will leave this critique here so I can unload all my thoughts for others to read if they wish, or possibly share their own thoughts. We are coming close to the end of the manga, so now would be a great time to reflect on what we read and enjoy what's left of it.