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silverechosandblankmasks · 3 years

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Platonic Polyam Bench Trio Marriage AU

You guys asked, so here I am to deliver! Platonic Polyam Bench Trio marriage au where Tommy marries into Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s platonic marriage. (focus on Tommy lol)

NOTE; These are about the c!characters and not the irl people, and I'm writing this like a poly queerplatonic relationship okay? None of this is intended to be romantic or anything else and anything that is in this list is PLATONIC INTENTIONS ONLY

Edit; Now called the Bench Husbands Au

-It kinda all kicks off when about a week or so after Tommy gets out of Prison. (Note, nothing after the first stream after Tommy gets out is canon in this au, as well as some things before)

-Tubbo and Tommy finally have a small fight and argument, before talking, like really talking and Tubbo invite Tommy to come live with them in the mansion in snowchester once its done.

-Tommy doesn't really want to... but he’s tired and lonely and still scared to death and Tubbo promises he’s safe with them, plus if they lived together they could plan on how to kill Dream easier as well.

-Ranboo doesn't mind but after that he tries to go talk to tommy more, but Tommy isnt... the most receptive? Tommy is suffering still and is feeling very replaced and lonely, but doesn't excuse his kinda snippy behavior with Ranboo

-This finally comes to ahead when Ranboo snaps and calls him out, leading to another small fight, before Tommy apologizes and they also talk. This one is more in depth though and Tommy talks about what happened in exile, in the prison, and just general shitty stuff that's being going on.

-Ranboo, in turn, talks to him about the voices and Dream’s voice and the sleepwalking and Tommy is very much more concerned about them then anyone else he told was, and validates the fear about it, and resolves to help Ranboo get rid of it somehow.

-After this, and both trying to convince the other they should tell Tubbo, that they both probably need to tell Tubbo. They want to keep him safe and not worry him, but... they both need help in different ways and they both love him enough to not do that to him.

-The night ends with lots of tears, Tubbo admitting his own traumas and tears and what he’s been not saying, and a promise to help each other.

-Its not a while after that actually Ranboo brings up the idea of adding Tommy to their marriage. He can tell the blond is struggling with feeling replaced and low-self esteem, and it would help him feel more equal and loved maybe? Tubbo thinks its a great idea and they go to ask Tommy.

-Tommy’s pretty uppity at first, he believes its just them pitying him and treating him like glass again, which he hates more then anything, but after they calm him down and explain they just want him to feel equal and that they both actually cared for him and wanted him to join in on their thing, he’s more contemplative. Ranboo nervously throws in a few other points, like how for legal reasons it could benefit him like it was for them, their allies had to leave him alone, plus Tubbo only started making his own hotel becuase he wanted Tommy to start interacting with him again, and-

-At this point Tommy just, interrupts and says yes, surprising them. They didn't exactly think he’d say no, but they thought it would be harder then that. He laughs at their expressions and says why not? Plus it stood to reason they’d want Tommy, everyone wanted Tommy.

-Ranboo and Tubbo exchange a look before bullying their now platonic fiancée. They agree to get married as soon as the Mansion is done, and till then Tommy can finish packing his stuff and a few other things he wanted to do.

-Also Tommy is totally not avoiding Michael because every pet he ever got close to has died and he doesn't want to get attached and risk Tubbo and Ranboo losing something they cared about because of him, no siree, why wouldn't you think that?

-Speaking of Michael!

-Its not all that strange to keep undead mobs like Zombie piglins as pets, in fact Zombie Piglins are the probably better undead mob to keep around due to their mostly passiveness if you want a pet and the fact they don't need much to eat and wont really be harmed if out leave them alone for long periods of time

-Though Tommy kinda thinks Tubbo and Ranboo’s insist on treating him like their child is weird, but he’s willing to let them have it, clearly it made them happy to play around

-Isn't until he finally moves in that he realizes that Michael is different then other zombie piglins and finds himself being pulled into the parent dynamic as well

-Though now that he thinks about it, something about Michael seems off… welp it's probably nothing :)

-When the mansion is done, he tears down the dirt shack and makes it a community garden and it becomes one of the only things that stays free of the red vines (who knew watering it with water from the holy land would make it untouchable? It's thanks to this garden later others figure out how to defeat the egg)

-They elect to not have a ceremony, not now at least but Tommy actually thinks a small wedding party would be fun at a later date. Ranboo doesn't mind much if they have one or not but Tubbo is actually very excited about planning it.

-Tommy wears his ring on a necklace most of the time, but occasionally wears it on his fingers, usually when he needs something to fiddle with.

-Ranboo wears his on his tail (the area right before to fluffy part) normally but also wears it on his finger sometimes when he feels like it. (If your version has horns, he also does that too) it just really depends on what he’s feeling and if he’s forgotten where he put it. He also like, never takes it off unless to move it around because he’s afraid to lose it.

-Tubbo wears his as an actual ring on his finger (though if he has horns, sometimes he puts it on one of em if he needs the ring to be off his hand.) Tubbo learned the hard way when building nukes or other machinery (since, if you can believe it, his husbands aren’t that comfortable with the nukes as he is) you can't wield or do high heat stuff while wearing metal and nearly lost his finger. He’s very lucky and he has a small scar from it.

-Each of them have their own rooms so they can have their own space and somewhere to go if they want time to themselves/store their stuff in, but there is a 4th room (directly across from Michaels) where they share and tend to curl up to sleep together. About 5 out of 7 days of the week, some combo of them are cuddling together at night, more if they're having a bad day or nightmares.

-There's multiple bathrooms in the mansion but there's one they all like the best and will fight over it/race to get into it first before the others and the other two will stalk off salty to use a different one

-They're all pretty tactile people but out of them, Tommy is the most tactile (once the fear of being hurt recess he practically attaches himself to the others) and Ranboo is the least (he won't seek out comfort and touch as much as the others unless he needs it, but is the best at telling when the other two need touch or need to be left alone) and Tubbo is in the middle of that.

-Tommy is the one that cooks most of the time, Ranboo is banned from it after The Incident and while Tubbo is okay at cooking, Tommy just knows more recipes and how to make things taste really good.

-Tommy picked up sewing from when he was a kid, even before he was found by Wilbur and adopted by Phil, it was useful to be able to patch the rags he called clothes, and just ended up continuing because his brothers and dad sucked at sewing. It then morphed into full tailoring because he found it relaxing and liked being able to make his own clothes. He can and will be insulted if anyone wears anything he deems ‘ugly’, especially his new husbands. He makes them clothes all the time, specially Michael.

-In fact he also cleans the most, he just gets bored and while he makes a mess, if the house gets to a certain point he gets really uncomfortable and overstimulated, so he cleans.

-DomesticInnit? In my au? More likely then you think!

-Gradually the whole ‘watching the prison’ and ‘planning to kill Dream’ starts to fade as he gets back into the groove of living again and therapy. He’s just… tired of Dream having a hold on everything Tommy does, he’s sick of it. So… he just tries to live these days one step at a time. (Healing arc baby! Dream can die mad UwU)

-Tommy dragged them both to Therapy with him after a while.

-Because of this he finds himself home a lot with Michael, especially if the other two are busy. They’ve pretty much decided that someone has to be home with Michael at all times, which is now 100% more doable with the 3 of them, and Puffy or Foolish babysit if there’s ever time they can't.

-Tommy is a lot less of a hovering helicopter parent then the others and was the one to finally convince them Michael cant live trapped in a room. Yes, they were all worried for his safety but… you can't raise a kid in a cell, even if it's a nice one. Tommy takes Michael out more

-Tommy started to sleep walking again once they moved in and he still gravitates towards water for some reason. Nothing more startling then waking up because you plunged into frigid below 0 temp water while sleepwalking. Ranboo also enderwalks/sleepwalks more as well and there've been some nights where Tubbo has had to track them both sleepily walking around and make sure they don't hurt themselves or drown or something. At least Ranboo is semi-aware when enderwalking and normally just does weird ender things, Tommy likes to apparently walk into oceans or climb the mansion and nearly fall off and wander hundreds of blocks away. Tubbo’s not salty at all, really.

-Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are 100% salty the benchtrio got platonically married before they got married

-They fight about last names all the time despite none of them actally taking eachothers last name, and if they happen to pick and choose on which one they’re feeling based on mood, well they can do what they want!

-However its agreed Michael’s last name is hyphenated so he’s now ‘Michael Beloved-Underscore-Innit’

These are all I have for now, feel free to ask about it or use my ideas! <3

#dream smp #dsmp #tommyinnit #tubbo #ranboo #bench trio #benchtwt #mine #headcanons #au #my aus #Benchtrio platonic poly marrige au #NOW CALLED;#Bench Husbands AU

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honeydew-mel0n · 3 years

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Plz oh great author. I would just like... some dadV content. Just like. V and a child reader. Plz.

This probably isnt what you expected but, here's V being an adopted dad for a 5 year old reader in the ruins of Redgrave. It's not good, but its work. Ig

V x Child! Reader

Dad!V in the rubble of Redgrave.

You hide under the remnants of your bed. The ripped mattress and splintered frame providing little shelter from the horrors that lie beyond your eyelids. You weren't asleep, but still subscribed to the belief that the monsters couldn't get you if they thought you were asleep.

The sound of footsteps approaching lit a flame of hope in your heart, only for it to crash down the moment you heard the monsters come again.

It was so loud, crashing, screaming... were they fighting? If it was battle it ended quickly. And whatever entered your room won. You let out a soft whimper, curling into yourself. The foot steps approach the mess you called a bed. The sound of the mattress being pulled slightly made you burst into tears.

"Well, what do we have here?"

You open your tear filled eyes to see an adult, his black hair and dark clothes. "Mommy left me again- Are the monsters gone!?" His face was almost devoid of emotion. "Yes." "Are you sure?" At first. A smile smile splits his face as he offers you a tattoted hand. "Positive, little one."

We've seen before that he could care less about children at first glance, but the mentioning your mother leaving you caused him to instantly attach to you.

Alone, afraid, but this time, no way to protect yourself.

Deep down something inside of him told him that he needs to protect you. To take the job that your obviously useless mother could not handle.

You latch onto him quickly as well, your new protector. You think he's so cool, with his weird clothes, tattoos, and the funny things he says.

The second night he had you, you fell asleep pressed up against him as read a loud.

"When we see not thro the eye. Which was born in a night to perish in a night. When the soul slept in beams of light..."

He stops, green eyes boring down at your sleeping form. Your little hand wrapped over the edge of the corset under his coat. A small smile splits his face. Dispite all you had gone through, you still held peace. You would smile up at him after minutes of tucking your head into his side to hide your eyes from the gore that went on in front of you.

Your resilience is unyielding, and he cant help but admire that. It can make him forget that you are just a child. But now, layed out against his heart, he can see your vulnerability more then ever. You were so talkative, so kind, so soft, so... so... human. So very human. Just as he is now.

After some time with him, you'll be able to recite whole poems. And god he's never been more proud.

Technically, he's homeless, so finding somewhere safe for you to sleep is his first priority.

You never sleep alone. Never. Either he or one of his familiars is with you.

Scratch that, you are never alone.

He wasnt surprised by Shadow's fondness of you, but was by Griffon's.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah pip squeak, just don't pull on my feathers anymore."

V is easily annoyed, especially by people who talk too much. Unless it's you.

He can sit and listen to you chatter on in excessive detail about the random things you know.

Maybe that's why you and Griffon can get along. It's a constant back and forth of random facts and jokes that go right over your head.

You just like that he talks to you, he likes that he can make any joke and you won't get upset or offended.

V however, hates that he does this.

Seeing as how V tries his best to shield you from the world. You've already suffered so much.

He takes on the task of "dad" rather quickly.

You close your eyes tight as he pours the water from his cupped hands over your hair. V hums softly as he scrubs the filth from your skin. It was rather uncomfortable, taking a bath in a fountain, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as caked on dirt and splatters of demon blood. "We're almost done, I promise."

As soon as he found you to be clean enough he takes off his long leather jacket, dispite it just getting dry, he pulls you out and wraps it around you. He lays out your now dry and somewhat clean clothes and let's you try to dress yourself. Shadow letting you lean on her as you tug your clothes back on.

The warmth from fire used to cook the demon meat is enough to make you feel sleepy, if the exhausting day wasnt enough. You leaned against V's side, curling into him. His arm coming around you, assuring you that you're safe.

He accepts that he's pretty much your father very quickly.

But it hurts him. He knows what he has to do, and when that happens, what will happen to you? Who could he possibly trust to care for you?

He takes you everywhere, and doesn't let anything touch you.

It's truly Infuriating to him that he doesn't have the strength to carry you. Of course you ride on shadow, but when they handle demons you are left to mercy of the world.

The two of you being attached at the hip leads to a lot of confusion.

Mostly from Nero

"Why the hell do you have a kid???"

When he finally gets to settle down in Nico's van, you get to lay down for a nap.

And he leaves again, he leaves you to sleep. It was safe and he knew you would be fine there, and you definitely needed to sleep.

Nico, surprisingly, didnt mind you.

The entire time he was so nervous. It's been weeks, and this is the first time you haven't been with him.

When V eventually returns, he finds you chatting Nero's ear off. He didn't seem to mind though, he sat quietly with a smile as you talked.

It hit him then.

You could be safe without him.

He watched you fiddle with the metal fingers on Nero's devil breaker as you spoke. The young man making the fingers move, to your delight. Your eyes glowed and you looked up at Nero, he nods to what you're saying with a wide smile.

All of the worries in V's head melt away, but are soon replaced with a feeling of melancholy. You would be fine, you would be safe. Without him. He steps in, your head snaps to him, joy spreading on your features as soon at you realize. You run up to him, hugging his leg tightly.

It wasnt long until he has to leave again, and he knew it was the last time he would see you. And somehow, you knew something was wrong. Your small hands rest on his cheeks, sadness written on your entire being. He pulls you close, whispering to you softly. "I will see you again my little one. I will see you again."

Tiny arms hold tight around his neck, warm, wet tears slip down and fall onto his skin. "Are you sure?" "Positive, little one." You hold on tight to him, even after he lets go. Theres a soft whisper, bairly audible. "I love you, daddy." Then, you let go.

Getting to wave him off while holding onto Nico's leg.

He knew he wouldnt see you again, either he dies, or becomes one again. The likelihood of seeing you again with both of those options is little to none.

But he feels peace, you'd be safe. You are safe.

He gets weaker and weaker.

He's been close to it before, but this must be what dieing feels like.

Before reuniting with his other half, he still tries to make sure that you will be okay.

His crumbling body is leaning on Nero, hobbling to the end of his life.

"The child... If you survive, take care of them."

#dmc v x reader #v x reader #v x child reader #dad v #child reader #devil may cry x reader #dad!v #ughhhhh #painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn #requests

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uwumessenger · 4 years

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random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

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seostudios · 4 years

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jaemin a-z smut analyzation thing

omg yes i love jaems

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

jaemin’s aftercare is so sweet, he make sures you’re not too sore and if you are he makes you some tea but if youre alright he’ll cuddle you after cleaning you up

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he loves his hands, knows how to use them on you anywhere and how to make you beg for more—(bigboobs small boobs) he loves your boobs; how round and plump they are he just loves them, he always loves to cum on them and have you ride him just to see them bounce but even when its not sexual he’ll caress them. he loves your boobs; how perky and small they were it would perfectly fit in his mouth and hands being able to overstim you and oinch your perked nipples while he edged himsefl

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

he loves cumplay and cumming in you, seeing his cum drip down from your hole to your thighs hes nasty like that cause he wants his cum everywhere but he usually wants you to cum on his face

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he’s lowkey a sadist but in the sweetest way possible

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

he’s probably had sex twice in the past but porn helped him develop

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

he like LOVES when you ride him or his face

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

if it’s not angry, jealous or makeup sex he’d be humorous with you cracking a small joke or tiny compliment here n there but mostly praises

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

i’d say he’s nicely shaved like no hair but slightly . but he’d prefer a psrtner who has themselves groomed like he doesnt mind the hair he can pull it while he goes down on you but he doesnt mind shaved

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

very like imagine rhe most cliche scenes and you got jaemin whether its sexual or not he’s one step ahead and cringy enoigh for you to want more

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

he doesn’t jerk off anymore after getting with you unless he’s on tour or mutual masturbatinf with you

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

handcuffs he loves seeing you whine

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

the sofa. he loves the idea of getting caught and the sofa is huge so he loves ramming into you whenever your in the living room

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

you. anything about you turns him on even when you aren’t trying, bht when you do try you send him overboard and its hot but secretly you wearing risky clothing does the trick

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he doesn like ddlg rly like he likes to call u babygirl but getting called daddy or playing some type of role is seriously weird to him

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

LOVES receiving so he could cum all over you and fuck your face but his skill and passion for giving is amazing

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

always depends on the night but usually a conbo of both rough and sensual

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

he loves them, the closests, bathroom, under the blanket, behind a door, before guests arrive he LOVES them because the chances of getting caught are high and he loves the high he gets from it bur he would be proper sex over it if it means he takes his time pleasing you

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

once in awhile there isnt rly anythjng to elaborate on this

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

as much as you can go- this boy loves to be overstimulated as much as he dors to you

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

handcuffs, blindfolds on either of you but he loves using a vibrator on u

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

too much to a point he edges himself to get a couple whines and tears from you

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

hes pretty vocal and hes not afraid to be andHES definitely gonna use it against you “do you like ir when im this loud for you baby?” or “are you this wet from my noise”

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

hmmm jaemin is definitely that highschool preppy popular player who goes by a good boy who falls for you even with his rep

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

he’s a solid 5inches soft , 7inches hard and his thickness is a little average but still good

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

so high

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

not quick brcuase he takes care of u forst then he will kncok df out

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fluffybunnyartist · 4 years

Note

Hey!! Again I can't get enough!! I really appreciate you putting Actually time and effort into our asks! My ask! Can we get a Michael Myers (other SLASHERS) as a meaner more scary yandere?? Like just a more realistic darker version of them with a cute innocent S/O NSFW IF YOU WANT!! AGAIN NO RUSG

Hell ya!! NSFW: Blood, gore, implied sex and noncon.

MICHAEL MYERS

Whatever you did to catch this man's attention you're either one lucky bastard or one unfortunate SOB. Hes extremely possessive and in the first day of him showing you your his you'll be covered in hickies.

You can kick and scream all you want. He has you in his clutches and he needs you. You better learn how to behave. He doesnt like hurting you but will if you dont act nicely.

Friends? Murdered. Family? Pushed away. Any boyfriend/girlfriend? Killed 3 days ago. No one is allowed near you unless you're working or buying groceries. He does know when to let it go.

God forbid anyone flirt or bully you. They're tortured and killed. Only he can do that. Speaking of which his idea of flirting is stealing or murdering people for what he needs for you. That rich family down the street? Murdered and you got some nice shiny jewelry covered in blood.

Now he will wait for consent to fuck you. Hes not a complete monster and you're the only one he loves. But he will grope you, rub up against you and mark you however he pleases. When he kisses you he doesnt expect you to kiss back. Just sit back and take it. Hes still a dom but hes a bit cold. You talked to a cashier for too long and hes left you naked tied to the bed with a vibrator in for an hour.

All in all you're his little doll and hes never loved anyone like you. Just let me play with you Y/N, you'll enjoy it I promise.

JASON VOORHEES

He'd tear anyone to shreds to get to you. You remind him a bit of his mother, so sweet and kind and he wants you. He needs you. So everyone else is slaughter with blood and guts sprayed across the cabin and campgrounds as he carries you to his place.

He ties you up to a bed and a chair during the day so you can sleep at night. Hes very kind, despite slaughtering your friends. He'll treat you like a delicate bird or baby deer. Petting you softly and feeding you from his own plate.

Stay in Pamela's good graces. Mainly be nice to her boy! Dont do drugs and no escaping! If you try he wants hurt you. He'll put you into a timeout. Do it too many times and he'll bend you over his knee and spank you li km e a naughty child. So you're not in much danger.

He's very sweet to you once you get to know him but like Michael he refuses to let anyone come over or near you. He'll chase everyone away. You dont need them, Y/N! All you need is me. He loves to cuddle you. Sweet little pets and even kisses.

Hes more likely to take off the mask if you've earned his trust or promise kisses. Then he'll stay unmasked around you. But only you! He doesnt really make you work but he does appreciate if you clean house a bit.

He always makes sure to have consent before touching you any where other than your hair. He doesnt wanna upset you.

THOMAS HEWITT

Something about you caught his eye. And now here you are at dinner. With your dead friends seated on one side and the large man wearing you best friends face on the other.

Be kind. Dont insult them or itll lead to you being punished. Thomas already made clear that he wants you and he wants you alive so they wouldn't risk killing you but being forced to do hard labor and chopping your friends up for dinner isnt killing you.

He'll spoon feed you the stew made of people. And at dinner you're tied down until further notice. After that you'll be tied to Thomas's bed. He'll feel up on you and touch you no matter how much you squirm. He just cant believe a beautiful creature such as yourself is in his bed. Laying with him!

He likes to cuddle you a lot and he'll grind on you and hump you a ton. Hes never had a sexual outlet before so it's a common occurrence when he just masturbates over your naked body. He loves seeing the look on your face as he cums all over you.

He may actually fuck you without your consent. You're his right? His to take? And he loves you so much. He promises to make you feel good. Just let him in.

BUBBA SAWYER

The fact that you survived one dinner is enough for Bubba to make you his. He'll give you plenty of kisses straight off the bat. He makes sure you're fed and bathed. Usually you're tied up for these.

He doesnt talk so it hard to understand him but he likes to cuddle with you. Sometimes if you cut yourself or get cut he'll lap up the blood and sometimes he likes to bite you.

He can and will kill and eat your friends. If you try to run away or escape you leg or legs may be butchered or mutilated courtesy of Drayton telling Bubba that he needs to so you dont run away again.

Now he'll probably fuck you while you sleep or are so tired you dont know what's going on. He's not so great on consent but that's bc if his upbringing and not out of malice or need to prove your his.

Probably one of the more innocent ones and the only reason he harms you or does freaky shit is bc of his brothers. He likes to make you jewelry out of body parts or steal some from victims.

He'll have Drayton marry you too so you both can have kids together! And he wants lots of kids! He's so happy he found you!

BO SINCLAIR

You're tied up in the chair until you can behave yourself. You get bathroom breaks but only he can take you and hes right inside with you. He'll face the other way he just doesn't want you escaping.

He'll gag you if you keep making noise. He wont glue your lips together bc what if he scars them? You're his perfect little doll. He doesnt want you too injured. So stop struggling in those bindings Y/N. It wont help.

Within the first few days he'll be on top of you grinding and groping. Touching you wherever he can. He loves your body and he wants to make you feel good. Dont you wanna make him feel good too?

Hes aggressive though. He may love you but he wont hesitate to scream or yell at you if hes thinking you're acting like a bitch. Hell come back later being softer and kissing you.

He'll get you to marry him. How can you say no to him? He'll take care of you and your kids! Hes so excited to get his little nuclear family started! After the chair you'll be chained up in his room. Maybe he'll take you for a drive if your good. But hes another one to lock you down fully or cause it so you cant escape.

No he wont cut off your limbs! But maybe if you cant see the exit you wont be able to leave him. Remember even though he loves you he still gets off on your pain a bit.

VINCENT SINCLAIR

More or less Bo thought you'd be good for him and he locked you in the studio where Vincent spends all his time. At first he doesnt know what to do. He leaves you food and water and let's you use the restroom but ues not sure.... but you are really pretty.

Awkward cuddling. Usually when you're asleep he'll nuzzle up to you gently. He doesnt wanna wake you but he wants to be close to you. He'll start drawing you and soon he'll be enamoured with you.

During the day hes polite and kind and offers you things to keep yourself occupied. But at night he let's his fingers and lips wander wherever he wants. Usually you tire yourself out by crying or trying you escape. So you're really conked out by the time he starts to touch you.

He wont mutilate you if you try to escape no. He'll cripple you. He can just carry you where you need to go. He can help you with whatever you want! He can bring you food and water! You can have everything you've ever wanted! But you have to stay here with him.

#bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #bubba saywer x reader #bubba sawyer #michael myers x reader #michael myers #jason vorhees x reader #jason voorhees #jason vorhees imagine #vincent sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt #slashers #slasher x reader #slasher

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februaryberries · 4 years

Text

Study (?) tips that you don’t see on every study post

Hi gamers, I just finished my first year at college/university!!

This year was really a struggle for me because I was trying to get the help I needed for my mental health, and I did not succeed until literally the week before finals spring term. I just got diagnosed w ADHD and put on meds (thank god) and I’m excited for the next year to come.

Though this year was absolutely grueling I did discover some little tips that can really help ! This is coming from my experience w ADHD but it could relate to other neurodiverse learners as well ! Even if you are neurotypical some of these might help !!

This post got really long so I’m gonna put it under the cut but, main Idea is bolded w a more in depth explanation underneath ( for those like me who see a block of text and go running)

In no particular order:

If you can/are up for it take a class before noon even if you are not a morning person. I am NOT saying take an 8am when u regularly go to bed at 4am! Bc that is dumb bb pls get some sleep. In my experience once I go to class my brain is like “oh things are happening now, it is actually a day and not just existing in a timeless hellscape.”

Once I am out of bed/out of my room I am at least mildly more productive for the rest of the day. Going to a class before noon means you are up and doing things for the day and early enough that you still have light. This ties into the next one

Start while it’s still light out!! At least for me I gain so much happiness from natural light/sunlight, and it is very hard for me to do things let alone START things once it’s dark out because my brain is like nope the day is over now. Plus in the fall/winter days days are getting shorter and shorter so it’s important to make use of as much daylight as you can. I feel like a plant w how much I rely on light to survive but it really does help!

Put on ‘Real People’ clothes. This is something that really helps me, even if it’s just like, jeans and a turtleneck, maybe tucked in w a belt. I’ve found that when I put on academic-y clothes or like Adult clothes it helps me switch my brain into school mode. It’s kinda like putting on a uniform for work? If I’m in too loose of clothes or like pyjamas for example, I’m much less likely to be able to switch my brain into productive mode. For me especially its when i’m wearing tighter clothing rather than baggy ones? Like i said a turtleneck which like the sleeves are fitted to my arms, and jeans or pants that are fitted to my legs. I think it helps because it makes me more aware of my body in the space? Idk. figure out what real people clothes feel like to you, and then have a couple of go to outfits you can slip on when you’ve been in a hoodie and sweatpants all day and really need to get some work done.

On that note, put on shoes. For me along w the tight clothing, I do better in shoes, specifically ones that lace up and can be tight. Like hightop converse, or boots, or even dress shoes w laces. I think in a way my body needs to be contained so I can focus on something? I’m not sure why I feel like that but i’ve learned to work w it. Putting on shoes for me helps because

1. I’m not distracted by what I’m putting my bare feet on (i cannot stand wearing socks unless im wearing shoes so yes bare feet)

2. I’m not getting distracted by my floor n the fact that hey maybe i should sweep bc there are some crumbs sticking to my feet now.

And 3. You put on shoes when you are going to go outside and go somewhere. It’s like putting pyjamas on to go to bed, you’re brain associates those items with doing something, so putting on shoes can signal to your brain hey we are doing something now, and that something is work.

Talk to your teachers !! I understand sometimes you have a teacher from hell and honestly idk what to tell you at that point but in a lot of cases teachers can be very understanding !! The amount of support I’ve gotten from my teachers this year is absolutely insane and 100% the only thing that made it so I didn’t get kicked out of college. Like reaching out to your teachers shows that you care! if you have to take a mental health day sometimes let them know !! i would always let my teacher know that I really wanted to be in class but I just couldn’t handle it that day. They also can help connect you to resources you didn’t know about !

Look into what resources your school has !! I was talking about how next year is gonna go now that I’ve been diagnosed and such with my friend, and how I was gonna contact the DRC (disability resource center) and she didn’t know you could get support for having ADHD!! Like I know you can get extensions on due dates, attendance forgiveness, and even potentially note taking assistance when you have ADHD and talk to them. even if you are medicated it doesn’t 100% solve everything and there are still ways to get support! Whether its study groups, writing centers/support, tutoring, or even contacting your drc or whatever your school has, it can really help!! I’m definitely going to take advantage of these resources if I can next year !

Find a place outside you can go to clear your head (or have a mental breakdown)

I can’t even begin to count the amount of times i’ve been freaking out over something or stressed out of my mind and my room started to feel to stuffy and claustrophobic and i just needed to get OUT. try to make sure it’s somewhere safe and close that you can go to even at night. (maybe try to shoot a text to your best friend that you’re out and if you don’t let them know you’re home by a certain time to start raising alarm, your safety is the most important) I tend to like to be up high because i’m further away from people, and the streets and I’m closer to the sky.

My go to thinking/breakdown spot is the roof of the parking garage a block away. It has stairs that are easy access and the top levels are usually empty even during the day. It really helps me to just go out and listen to music and collect my thoughts sometimes. My head can start going a million directions at lightspeed and I need to stop and be present, and being outside helps. It’s a good way to regroup.

Spend 10 minutes picking up your desk/work space. I tend to let my room get cluttered and messy and out of control a lot, to the point where I know it’s going to take at least a couple hours to get it clean again. It is also hard to focus when you’re in a messy environment. I would stress myself out and be like “well i HAVE to clean my whole room because I can’t focus if my space isnt clean I cant start until I clean” and then I would put all of my productive energy into cleaning, and get maybe halfway done before burning out and going to bed.

You’re never going to get any work done if you keep in this mindset. So instead just spend 10 minutes picking up the garbage off your desk, put the dishes in the kitchen, and put things back in their place. Then you will have enough space to work on your assignment and that space will be free of clutter so it won’t be as stressful.

DRINK WATER DRINK WATER DRINK WATER

Have a water bottle in front of you when you’re studying/in class. I get fidgety a lot when i’m in class/studying (thank u adhd) and so having a water bottle is a way for me to fidget I guess? Depending on the water bottle, you have little steps you have to do to drink that help u fidget,

for example: pick it up, take off the lid, drink, put the lid back on, set it down.

Or pick up, push button that opens drink hole (?), set back down.

When I have a water bottle on my desk it satisfies my need to do something with my body and comes with the bonus of staying hydrated, without me having to lose focus doing something else. Also you won’t get distracted by a sore throat or the realization that you are really thirsty.

Pay attention to why you’re not paying attention. Not everything that works for me is going to work for you, so you have to figure out what works for you. I started to notice that I would be uncomfortable or feel funny working when I was in baggy clothes and that helped me figure out I needed to wear real people clothes. If you find yourself getting distracted, take note of what is distracting you. maybe try literally making a list of things that distract you, so then you can identify patterns and how to combat them !

That’s all I have for now, I hope some of these could maybe help? All of these have helped me actually complete an assignment occasionally, and somehow keep my ass in college. I just want to say that my experience is my own and things that work for me aren’t going to work on every one. college can be really tough, especially your first year when you’re trying to figure everything out. I may not have all the answers but feel free to shoot me a message!! i’m here for you if you want to ramble about an assignment you’re fed up with or a teacher you hate or anything thats bothering you !! Everyone’s college (and life) experience is different so don’t feel bad if yours doesn’t look the same as the people around you ! Remember to take care of yourselves !!!

Have a good day :)

#mine #study tips #college tips #study advice #adhd tips #?#studyblr #study #bullet journal #bujo #dark academia #light academia #I'm fucking trying academia #notes #muji #college advice #idk how to tag #i hope these kinda sorta make sense lol

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sanstropfremir · 3 years

Text

it’s the episode 8 review!!! how many episodes is this show supposed to even be?

the stages from the episode feel like such a grab bag.... i still don’t understand why they didn’t put all the skill stages together, and then did the normal two episodes of the third round. i guess it makes sense that they didn’t want to have six stages in one episode and then three in the other two, but eh.

feeling kinda average on these as a whole, there’s a lot of good elements going on here but probably because of my own preferences (i don’t listen to ballads or blackpink) none of them really hit all the buttons. hopefully this will be a shorter review because i'm only going to do a quick rundown of the vocal stages; i dont really have that much to say about them because they are (intentionally) not very stage picture focused. i'll do the normal stage breakdowns for the other two though, even though i won’t rank them because we still need to see the other four!

vocal stages

sf9 + tbz + ikon

not much to say here other than wow, that’s RED. glad to see some more specific use of spotlighting and i always love when they light things on fire. i do wish they had fill lit with a brighter amber so we could actually get a bit more detail on their faces, especially because there’s six of them. i appreciated the simple blocking and only using one of the ‘stages,’ this stage didn’t need to be anything complicated and it wasn’t. i don’t love spinning camera shots because they make me a bit ill, and i'll forgive the constant cutting because it's a vocal stage and there isn’t any other real movement that we should be paying attention to. not my favourite of the two, i found it visually a bit too repetitive and complex at the same time. always love a crushed velvet suit though, so bonus points for that.

atz + skz + btob

i was braced for the worst and i dont know what kind of miracle happened but it was listenable! like i said, not a ballad fan but i could listen to eunkwang all day. i love a good plinth for a ballad stage, they’re one of my favourite devices in kpop design and i especially love it with a good groundlevel fog. glad they kept it black and white for the first half of the stage, it was in line with the blooming flower projections, and it made a very clear colour arc. they kept the visuals clean and simple with very little blocking at all, a very smart choice for this stage. not sure why they decided it would be the chanel time stage, which i disapprove of because i don’t like chanel, but i do love eunkwang’s shirt with the cameo buttons and the massive turnback cuffs, very 17th and also 19th century. i know they never do it because they dont read on stage normally but yes absolutely more thin chain pendant chokers on men, thank you! i also liked that there was emphasis on a more traditional lighting scheme, there weren't any crazy concert effects, just some good directional beam spotlights and the rear stacks in the climax.

third round stages

ikon

costume

the first look for them is definitely my fabourite of theirs so far. there’s enough variation in the jackets that the base layer of tshirt and jeans don’t look too repetitive. and i do love a good statement jacket. my favourite is probably donghyuk’s because i'm a sucker for fringe always.

i don’t like the backup dancers costumes, but given the way i’ve reacted to every other all black outfit for this entire show i don’t think anyone was surprised about that. these ones particularly irk me because they’re very matte; there's pretty much no texture or pattern differentials to define the shape of the limb, which makes them disappear when theyre all grouped together (mostly on the women). i think they probably were intending to make a statement/emphasis on the hands because of the sleeve cutoff point, but there were so many arm movements that were just totally missed because the costumes were just black voids. most egregious parts are here, with the female dancers up center. i can barely tell what the movements are unless i’m paying specific attention to them because there's so many black shapes. maybe it was the point for it to be an indiscernable writhing mass, but it wasn’t my vibe.

don’t love this styling on lisa. i hate peeptoe shoes in general but peeptoe boots are the worst offenders. they make you look like you have duck feet, no matter who you are. especially with a flat cutout like that. a universally unflattering shoe, and i would know, i worked in a shoe store for two years. this whole look is just pg-13 rihanna cfda awards 2014 and really nobody should try to run up against rihanna.

also i have to mention this because it’s actually really bothering me, but lisa’s backup dancers are serving very allgemeine ss looks and i do not like it. generally when we see ‘military’ uniforms in kpop theyre usually modelled off older styles (pre wwii) of western uniforms that usually aren’t in circulation, and they’re usually non-matching and embellished in ways that are deliberately not military. i know logically that it's a budget constraint+they’re backup dancers+current trend thing but the clean lines with only button detailing and the all black and that specific harness shape? it hit my brain the wrong way. i mean, technically those uniforms are designer because hugo boss did them, but the uh..... girlboss move didn’t land for me.

this is my PERSONAL OPINION please for the love of all that is holy do not come yelling at me about this. it’s all under a cut, you chose to read the post.

set

very glad to see some busy kitschy sets! this is a massive build, since there’s essentially three full sets here: the temple, the jungle, and the first tiny room. and all of them are very heavily decorated.

the starting room is just five walls on casters (wheels), that have been set into place with the cameraman and ikon inside at the start, and then once they exit the walls can be easily struck and rolled off set. simple, smart, and convenient!

i missed it the first couple times around but glitching out the projections in the temple for a split second was a neat little trick.

the silver and polygonal nature of the tiger/panther/cat(?) head is a bit disconnected from the gold and the aesthetic of the rest of the stage for me. the difference between the original room set and the jungle tracks, but the cat head isnt able to make the same leap for me. i'm also not a fan of mixing metals so maybe that’s why.

the tiger/panther/cat(?) head is a fun physical transitional device; i'm a big fan of tunnels and small transitory spaces like that and if they’re well dressed like this one they do so much for establishing place and mood.

i'm very sure i’ve seen this style of polygonal animal head with laser eyes before....i cannot for the life of me remember where or for what. i know wang yibo did a panther stage for sdc3 that had a human formation panther with green laser eyes, i wonder if i'm just crossing wires.

OH nevermind it’s because it looks like the witcher medallion. wires were definitely crossed.

lighting

using purple/teal lighting for the jungle was a smart choice because purple is the direct compliment to the gold and also is much more flattering on humans than green. green is one of the colours that humans can see the most variations in, so when something is green when it's not supposed to be (like human skin), we register that very quickly and associate it with unease and sickness. you know how old fluorescent lights have that greenish tinge that kinda makes you feel ill? it's your cone cells and your brain recognizing that you’re looking at things that are not supposed to be green.

very clean colour arc, i love to see it.

sound

it’s.....fine? i don’t listen to blackpink and have no opinions on their music other than it's not my type. i dont really know what the thematic connection to the visuals is, which is not strictly necessary in a lot of cases, but i don’t particularly care for the conflation of ‘savage’ and a (presumably) precolonial religion that’s assembled from stereotypes of real colonized cultures. you can come at me about how ‘it's not that deep’ all you want but i am here specifically doing an in depth analysis, and i gotta point it out. i'm not here to pass judgement on you if you didn’t realize or don’t care or whatever, i'm just saying that it's important to consume content with a critical eye. what you do with that information is your own personal choice, but you should be aware of it at least.

staging

they took a big risk eating popcorn right before singing, and we definitely got some residual mouth noises of them trying to clean out their teeth. eating on stage is difficult in general because you have to make sure it's not going to dry out the performers mouths, because they dont have access to water and it takes WAY longer to chew and swallow something than you would expect. there’s a LOT of testing that goes into making stage food and guaranteed it’s not made out of what it looks like or what its supposed to be; i worked on a production of amadeus were we did literal weeks of testing amalgams of different desserts to make sure that salieri could actually eat the ones onstage without totally drying him out, because fun fact about that show, salieri doesnt leave stage like, at all, so there was no way to get him water. poor bloke.

i thought the blocking of this was really smart. the long take from the ‘normal’ room and transition into the jungle was super slick, even if that weird circle the camera did while pointed up at the ceiling was unnecessary and pointless.

bobby’s ‘acting’ was extremely funny and that’s the only way people are allowed to act surprised now. edvard munsch scream style only.

the pacing is a bit off and this time it wasn’t mnet’s editing that fucked it up. as fun as it is to have a feature, clearly she wasn’t allowed within proximity of the rest of them for covid or other yg related reasons, but it made for some extremely long transitions, especially the one out of her verse. it kills the momentum of the stage in that beat, even though they manage to pick it up after.

this is a very simple little narrative arc that’s easy to follow and doesn’t require any extra explaining. which is exactly the kind of arc that groups should be doing at this stage in the game. this is a good formic step up for ikon!

i thought the turning off of the monitor at the end was fun and a good callback to them watching the videos at the beginning of the stage. a nice clean way to make it circular.

skz

costume

FINALLY something different on the skz boys! these were mostly fun eboy looks for them, and i like it on the basis that it's not the same as the last set of costumes.

bang chan out there with his thigh OUT and a (fake) bridge piercing? LOVE to see it. great work.

(copy-paste every thing i’ve said about backup dancers wearing all black)

the backup dancers that were dressed as bystanders/extras were great! they should have kept that with all of them because it would have given a little more shape to the choreography and establishing what function the backup dancers were supposed to have.

set

that is meant to be a giant rice cooker on stage, right? i think so because it's a god’s menu mashup? if that's not a rice cooker i have NO idea what its supposed to be

there’s only two large setpieces here, which was a smart way to go. i LOVE the subway car doubling as the truck, even if the truck itself makes no narrative sense. what a fun way to double the use of a single big piece. you’ll be able to see the way it moves in the full cam but it splits down the centre and there entrance doors at the back with attached stairs that bang chan and the dancers use to climb up.

lighting

not a whole lot happening here. i like the cool white leds in the subway car and the contrast with the more warm tones of the outside, which is good atmospheric establishment, but i can't discern a visible arc.

not a fan of these projections; they’re in line with what we’ve seen from skz so far, which is: extremely literal. i dont think they’re that distracting, but they’re not to my personal taste. they really should have kept the comic panel theme that they did for changbin’s first verse, because that was inventive and fun to watch! and a great atmospheric indicator! i would love to see a bit more experimental projection use but it's hard when they don’t have a lot of time to build these stages and the lighting team is definitely working remotely.

sound

i love that they made the choice to do some actual talking, it’s a good gimmick and it works for the deadpool/comic book/fourth wall break theme, but australian accents take me the fuck out i am so sorry i cannot listen to either felix or bang chan speak english without laughing uncontrollably.

i don’t like this arrangement but i'm not surprised about that, given my predilections. i'm also tired of skz shouting STRAY KIDS in every performance they do. i know on music shows it's probably more relevant and yea producers tags are a thing but we’ve been watching this show for nearly two months at this point. we know who you are, you can stop yelling. be more creative with it!

staging

my biggest issue with this stage is that it doesn’t have a payoff. there is an arc here: they’re stealing the truck, but why are they stealing the truck? who are they stealing it from? who are they fighting against? it's kind of important in a stage where the theme is stealing and fighting someone that you tell us who that is. in both of ateez’s previous stages were they were both stealing (rhythm ta) and fighting (wonderland), they made sure to show us who the villain was. there needs to be tension for a big blowup climax to actually pay off. whether it be against a a balloon arm kraken or a fascist government. this stage could have reached that next step if they’d just done a little bit more exposition.

there were a lot of fun choreo moments here, and this is probably my favourite choreo of theirs so far. i thought the whole first bit in the subway car was excellent and a very fun play on those viral videos that we used to see roll around every so often of dancers doing routines in subway cars.

did it need the guns? not in the slightest. more on this point later. i could talk more about weapons and weight here, but i’ve done that several times already.

like with the tbz game of thrones stages, theyre relying a little too much on the audience's preconceptions of the source material in order to carry the theme. the guns are there because deadpool likes guns, but they don’t actually use the guns for anything? the most we get of the stealing segment is felix and the safe, which admittedly is a great bit with him leaping over and under the ‘laser’ lines (theyre likely led strips). because comic books are by nature procedural and deeply tied to narrative, it's unsatisfying when there’s no tension and no payoff.

HOW did we manage to get two stages that are blackpink covers with remote/tv static gimmick and durags? i know the slot machine of kpop tropes is not very big but surely the probability of hitting triple sevens on this one was pretty low. i’m pretty meh on both of these stages overall. skz was unsatisfying but i loved the choreo in the subway bit so that bumped it up a little ahead of ikon’s in my personal preferences, but i'm reserving my actual rankings for next week. assuming we get the other four stages next week and they dont do something stupid and only show two. which they very well might. i’ve stopped trying to understand why mnet does things the way that they do.

as always the ask box is open, drop your comments/questions/personal opinions, i love to hear ‘em! but don’t be rude just because some of this is touchier subject material.

#kingdom #ateez #btob #ikon #sf9 #the boyz #stray kids #military uniforms are a weird one and i always find it a bit....(squiggly face emoji) when they get used in kpop stages #everybody is one of the exceptions because its used as a direct critique #but this is a very personal opinion as someone who has done a lot of historical research on military uniforms in particular #so im hyperaware of that kind of thing #be cool about this one people please and thank you!#im so glad this came in under 3k #kingdom review #kpop analysis #text #ive had to write a lot of deeply critical art practice analysis in the last week and i would like to sleep

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saikonohero · 3 years

Text

Self indulgent Souyo fic

This fic was inspired by @erskye old post of Shadow Yosuke singing “Do you wanna ride” by BMC. I really am no writer and what I write I mostly keep to myself, but the souyo tag isnt a very active one, so yeah. I hope you like it.

-In Shadow World-

Yu and Yosuke go alone for training, trying to prepare for anything that is to come later on their path. The others were simply too busy to join in with them.

"It's been a while, hasn't it? I haven’t seen the actual thing in a while." He smirked and walked around menacingly.

Yosuke: There really aren’t many shadows around this part, huh? I guess we wiped them all off, haha.

Yu: Yeah, I suppose. Maybe if we move further we might find some more.

Yosuke: Yeah!

The boys continue to move along. Yu catches something moving in the corner of his eye.

Yu: I think I saw something there.

Yosuke: Alright.

They move towards the way the shadow went, into an empty building.

"Oh my, it’s been a while, hasn't it?"

Yu and Yosuke look behind them.

"-my other self?"

Yu is shocked and Yosuke looks at the shadow terrified only to see the other version of himself again after so long.

Yosuke: What? This can't...I thought you were gone! What do you want again?!

Shadow Yosuke: Seems like little Yosuke there didn't learn his lesson the first time~

He approaches Yosuke and he grabs his cheeks with one hand. He then releases his face and walks towards Yu. Yu holds his sword up to Shadow Yosuke. Shadow Yosuke keeps walking towards him with the sword slicing through him. Though he doesn't seem to care at all and continues walking till he reaches the base of the sword. Yu looks surprised.

Shadow Yosuke: Oh, I know this face. This tough man look is what got me into you in the first place. However, I’m simply just a reminder at this point and no danger to you anymore. You see, I was wiped off my power by the time my other self “supposedly” accepted me. I’m just a ghost at this point.~

Yosuke: Do you really think we are going to trust you this easily?

Shadow Yosuke leans onto Yu. His elbows are resting on Yu, while he supports his head with his hand. He looks at Yosuke.

Shadow Yosuke: Hmm, that would be the stupid thing to do, honestly. Just cause you accepted me, doesn’t mean I wont have a new reason to appear again.~

He stares at Yu in a flirty way. Yosuke looks at him quite embarrassed and confused. Yu looks at him in the eyes. Shadow Yosuke grabs Yu's arms and puts them on his waist. Yu appears confused but he doesn’t hold back. Yosuke stares at Yu confusedly, questioning his partner’s reaction, when suddenly another figure appears.

Shadow Yosuke: I gotta go, my partner arrived~

Shadow Yosuke pulls back from Yu, pulling the sword out of him at the same time. He then turns his back to face the other figure. Yu slowly becomes afraid, his expression changing by the minute. Yosuke looks at the figure.

Yu: What the…?

Yosuke: Partner…?

Shadow Yu: Long time no see.

He darkly looks at Yu in the eye, while smirking. Yu's heart starts to race and his breathing becomes faster. Shadow Yosuke approaches Shadow Yu, while looking at him in a flirtatious way. He grabs his hand and Shadow Yu pulls him closer to him, leaning his face closer to his as well. Yu grabs Yosuke's arm immediately and runs out, before they get to see what happens next.

Yosuke: Hey! Partner!

Yu kept running, his grip on Yosuke's hand becoming stronger. They both go into another building. Yu releases Yosuke's arm and he immediately falls down to his knees.

Yosuke: Hey! Are you ok?

Yosuke checks on Yu.

Yosuke: What the hell, man...

Yu slowly turns his head and looks at Yosuke in a serious expression.

Yu: Why is your shadow here..?

Yu gets up and pins Yosuke on the wall.

Yu: Is there anything you aren’t telling me?!

Yosuke looks shocked and immediately pushes Yu off him.

Yosuke: What the hell is wrong with you, dude?! Are you seriously putting the blame on me?! In case your head was too deep in your ass, YOUR shadow ALSO appeared! So maybe YOU'RE the one who's hiding something!

Yu: Whatever it is it's gonna be a problem. We won’t have to let the others know about this.

Yosuke’s eye is twitching from anger and appears annoyed.

Yosuke: Yeah, ok ignore me. But...*sighs* I agree. We have to settle this right now.

Yosuke prepares to leave the building, when Yu grabs his arm to stop him.

Yu: No. I don’t think this will be this simple this time. Fighting them off won’t do.

Yosuke: What are you implying?

Yu releases his arm.

Yu: I believe that there is something between us that needs to be resolved. Your shadow was acting really weird on me, earlier.

Yosuke: W-well, your shadow was being weird on mine, as well! Whatever, I'm going to see what this really is about.

Yu: No.

Yosuke: Huh?

Yu: I don’t want to learn the truth from them.

Yosuke: So you prefer to not know anything at all? *sighs* Whatever, I really don’t want to learn it from them either. Let's just go home, I’m beat.

Yu: Right.

-In Real World-

The boys have been silent the whole way home. They both saw what happened there and they were too uncomfortable to talk about the situation earlier.

Yosuke: I'll catch with you later.

Yu: Yeah. See ya

Yu heads home tired and angry.

Yu: Hey Nanako. I’m sorry I’m late.

Nanako: Big bro! Where have you been?

Nanako runs all excited to hug him. Yu suddenly feels a little bit more relaxed. He would never be mad at his baby cousin.

Yu: The school club finished late and I stayed for clean up. I was hanging out with Yosuke afterwards. I didn't notice how fast the time passed. Have you eaten?

Nanako: No, I was waiting for you. I did make some rice though.

Yu leaves his stuff on the couch and runs to the kitchen.

Yu: Hmm, what could we cook? Right, I had left some beef in the fridge for today.

Yu cooks for him and Nanako. They both have dinner and Yu leaves a spare dish for Dojima. After that, Yu goes to his room, changes clothes and prepares for bed.

He recalls the events that happened earlier today and he can’t get off his mind the way Shadow Yosuke would stare and touch him. He gets kind of flustered and his thought wanders off, what it would be like to have the actual Yosuke being like that to him. He had a thing for Yosuke for a while now, but he never came to terms with those feelings, in fear that would push Yosuke away.

His head is spinning into a tornado of thoughts, that he can’t get out of his head. Like the way Shadow Yosuke looked at him and his behavior towards him, Yosuke becoming very embarrassed by the scene, Shadow Yosuke being intimate with Shadow Yu. It only meant one thing. That Yosuke most likely has feelings for him. Or maybe this was a way for the shadows to mess with them. Regardless, they both noticed that, but what they missed was Shadow Yu's response to that of Shadow Yosuke's. Yu ran off after all, before they were able to see the full outcome. Did Yosuke notice Shadow Yu’s behavior? Probably not. After all, Yosuke said that Yu's shadow acted weird in a failed attempt to defend himself, right? Or perhaps he really noticed too?

Yu decided to go to sleep.

The thought would persist stubbornly in his mind and he would be anxious, about whether Yosuke actually felt like that or the shadows were playing tricks on them. For the rest of the days that we would see Yosuke and the rest of the Investigation Team, Yu tried his hard to pretend like nothing ever happened to the point that Yosuke would get confused and even mad at him for not facing the situation, but instead brushing it off like that. Yosuke, on the other hand would be distant from Yu, but not in a way that he would notice. His thoughts would circle around the past events and would try to control them, by distracting himself. However, he was mad at Yu for not reaching out to him. He is his best friend, they shared everything with each other. But by the time they saw their shadows, they have been distant and closed to themselves.

Yu returns home from an ordinary day. He cooks and takes care of Nanako until it’s time to head to bed. However, it was another restless night for Yu. He would finish texting whoever had sent him a message at the moment and he would close his phone, leaving it beside him. He closed his eyes, but the thoughts wouldn't leave him be. After some hours, at last, his body gave in.

After almost 2 hours, his phone started ringing. The number was named “Yosuke”. He picks it up.

Yu: Its 3:00 AM.

Yosuke: I know, but I can't sleep. Sorry for waking you up, but do you wanna go out for a bit? Yes at this hour.

Yu: Yeah, I'll meet you outside your house.

Yosuke: Alright. See ya.

Yosuke hangs up. Immediately, Yu gets up and dresses up. He puts the first easiest clothes he could wear. He grabs a jacket and heads out, trying not to wake anybody up. He walks to Yosuke's house and sees Yosuke in the distance. Yosuke approaches him. Yu looks at him a bit surprised.

Yu: It's unusual to see you in such jacket.

Yosuke: Dude, its 3:00 am, I don’t care. I grabbed whatever I found.

Yu: What's the matter?

Yosuke: We really need to talk. The next fog is gonna come soon and we still haven’t solved the shadow situation.

Yosuke starts walking and Yu follows him.

Yu: Right.

Yosuke: Don't "right" me! You have been ignoring this whole thing, since the time we left from there! I really wanted to just go there and find answers for myself, but I didn’t think that was fair.

Yu: I thought you didn’t want to learn the truth from the shadows. But I see. I'm sorry for leaving you hanging there. I just don't think I’m ready to come to terms with this yet.

Yosuke looks at him embarrassed and angrily.

Yosuke: I didn’t but what else was I supposed to think, you liar!

Yu: Huh?

Yosuke: I know you, Narukami! You were trying to find an explanation on my shadow's behavior. You just wanted to embarrass me!

Yu: Yosuke, what are you talking about?

Yosuke: You mean...that you don’t know my secret?

Yu: I’ve only made speculations about the situation. But I cannot be sure, unless you reveal it to me.

Yosuke: Don’t mess with me.

Yu stops walking and goes in front of Yosuke.

Yu: Yosuke, you told me to meet you, only for you to just be mad at me? You're the one having sleepless nights, being paranoid about this.

Yosuke: Listen here, I don't care, if you're my best friend. I know what you did.

Yu: What do you mean?

Yosuke: Why did you hide the truth from me? If we have stayed a little longer, we would have understood why our shadows appeared again. I stood there taking all the embarrassment, while you had the chance to just run away. You protected yourself from me, but why didn’t I have the chance to do the same? Huh, “leader”?

Yu: Yosuke, I wasn't trying to-

Yosuke: You're just awful, you know that?

Yu stood there silently for a while.

Yu: ...I guess it's only fair to reveal my secret right?

Yosuke: Since you know mine.

Yu: But, do I?

Yosuke: You're terrible.

Yu: No, seriously, I never said I know, just that I made speculations. I might be terribly wrong.

Yosuke: Whatever. I don’t wanna explain what happened there. You saw it too.

Yosuke is blustered. Yu proceeds to walk and Yosuke follows him.

Yosuke: Where are you going?

Yu doesn’t answer and stops after a while. Yosuke stands in front of him.

Yu: My secret is-

Yu pushes Yosuke off the sidewalk, him rolling down a small hill. Yu runs down to him. Yosuke gets up and runs up to him.

Yosuke: I HATE YOU. IM BEING SERIOUS AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THIS. THIS ISNT YOU AT ALL.

Yu: Being this serious isn’t your thing, honestly.

Yosuke makes Yu trip, Yu holds Yosuke and they both trip down the remaining hill. Yu holds Yosuke's arms and stands on top of Yosuke. Yosuke stares him back and they both become flustered. Immediately, Yu gets off him and sits beside him. Yosuke slightly turns his back at him.

Yosuke: I guess that was fun. But maybe for another time.

Yu: Haha, yeah. I guess so.

Yosuke: It sucks that you had to learn this this way. It's really embarrassing and if you feel grossed out, honestly I wouldn’t blame you...

Yu: I don't find it gross at all. It is actually heartwarming.

Yosuke: Huh? What do you mean?

Yu: For you to almost coming to terms with those feelings. It gives me the courage to do too.

Yosuke: Whatever, man. Stop being sappy.

Yu: I still can’t find the proper courage to say this. But I can show it to you.

Yosuke: Show it to me?

Yu: Can you look at me?

Yosuke: Ok-

Yu leaned in for a kiss. He holds to it for a bit and then he lets go. Yosuke turns bright red and immediately turns away.

Yu: I like you too, Yosuke.

Yosuke: Pervert...

Yu: You didn’t push me back.

Yosuke: I know. I didn’t want to.

Yu: Perhaps, it was because you always liked that about me? Being tough?

Yu looked at Yosuke in a flirty way. Yosuke pushed Yu's face away and turned his back at him, once again.

Yosuke: Don’t say stuff like that...

Yu: Heh. Hey Yosuke.

Yosuke: What?

Yu: Admit it to yourself at least, if not to me.

Yosuke: No.

Yu: I guess the Investigation Team will pay a visit to Shadow Yosuke this time.

Yosuke turns to Yu aggressively and looks at him, looking angry.

Yosuke: Since when did you become such a dick, "partner"?!

Yu: Can you just for once leave your guard down? It's only you and me.

Yosuke: *sighs* Whatever. I uhh...I don't know how to say this.

Yu waits for him patiently. He holds his hand and smiles softly. Yosuke sees his gestures and he doesn’t hold back or flinches. He feels quite uncomfortable though.

Yosuke: I... Damn it, I like you.

Yu: Was it that hard?

Yosuke: Yes. Yes it was.

Yu lays down smiling, having his arm covering his eyes. Yosuke looks at him confused. Suddenly Yu’s smile fades and his body becomes relaxed.

Yosuke: Yu?

Yu appears to have fallen asleep.

Yosuke: J-just how many days haven’t you slept properly?! Hey, Yu!

Yu doesn’t respond, he is fast asleep. Some minutes pass in utter silence. Yosuke looks at him sleeping and then continues to look at the grass, the night sky with some stars being visible even at this hour. Suddenly, Yosuke looks back at Yu and takes a deep breath.

Yosuke: *sighs* You know, I really liked you for a long time. I hate how you had to learn this this way. At least now you know...It seems very weird for you to be feeling the same way. It was always the other way around for me.

Yosuke leans down to him and kisses him softly. He then starts shaking him.

Yosuke: Hey, Yu, wake up! I can’t carry you to bed.

Yu: Mm...Hm?

Yosuke: Wake up, partner.

Yu slowly gets up and rubs his eye.

Yu: What happened?

Yosuke: You fell asleep on the grass, dude.

Yu: Oh, I’m sorry, I must be really tired.

Yosuke gets up on his feet and stretches his arm to Yu.

Yosuke: Let's go partner.

Yu grabs his hand and smiles.

Yu: Yeah.

Yosuke keeps holding Yu's hand and they walk to Yosuke's home.

Yu: I will keep going now. See-

Yosuke: Hey, Yu wait.

Yu: Hm?

Yosuke: I have a spare futon up my room, you could stay at my place for tonight.

Yu: Alright.

Both go inside and up to Yosuke's room, quietly. Yosuke grabs the spare futon, but Yu stops him and grabs his hands. He closes the closet where the futon is.

Yosuke: Huh?

Yu leads him to his bed.

Yosuke: H-hey...That's way too soon, you idiot.

Yu: I won’t do anything weird. I promise.

Yosuke: Alright…

Both lay down in the same bed. Yosuke is a bit uncomfortable, so his back is turned to Yu. Yu hugs him from behind and immediately falls asleep. Yosuke is feeling embarrassment, but he feels warm inside at the same time, he doesn’t hate it. This is all new to him, after all, especially with a guy. Day arrives and Yosuke is turned to Yu, while he slowly opens his eyes. He sees Yu still sleeping. He slowly puts his hand on Yu's cheek and rubs it softly. He closes his eyes and leans closer to his face.

Yu: Good morning, partner.

Yosuke: Agh!

He pulled himself back surprised.

Yosuke: I thought you were sleeping.

Yu: I just woke up.

Yu nuzzles against Yosuke.

Yu: What time is it?

Yosuke: I uh, I don’t know. Lemme check.

Yosuke turns around to grab his phone. He opens it and sees the time. It’s around 1:00 pm.

Yosuke: It’s almost 1:00 pm. I never heard my alarm going off.

Yu: We must have been really tired, huh?

Yosuke: I mean, you fell asleep on the ground yesterday.

Yu: I did, huh?

Yosuke: Yeah.

Yu: What were you trying to do earlier?

Yosuke: Nothing, don’t worry about it.

Yu leans in and kisses him softly.

Yu: Let’s get up.

#this is messy #and a little ooc #souyo #persona 4 #persona 4 golden

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xazz · 4 years

Photo

Moth Wings 7

Pairing: AltMal, Altair+Desmond Rating: Explicit Tags: vampires, romance, servant AU, music AU, fluff, angst, flangst Status: WIP

Oof it’s been a while. I should really keep on top of this here on Tumblr. As before Tumblr gets updated before AO3, meanwhile Patreon is like 40k words ahead of everyone. Like Malik and Altair have fucked already lol

----------

Altair was alone in his room carefully restringing his violin. One of the strings had snapped and he took it as an excuse to put all new ones on. He saved the good old ones but putting new ones on gave him something to do before he passed out.

He’d been playing so much and that was why the string had broken. He’d tightened it too much and just all the playing he’d been doing the past few weeks had put a strain on the string and made it snap. It’d also left a cut across the top of his hand when it’d snapped, nothing serious but he’d had to leave Desmond in the care of someone else until the bleeding stopped. You couldn’t have an open wound around a vampire child like that. They didn’t have the control adults did.

He perked up when there was a knock on his door. Who? He got up and opened the door and couldn’t help himself. He looked down at Malik’s chest instead of at his face. “Did you need something, sir?” Altair asked.

“I came to see how your hand was doing,” Malik said.

Altair self consciously reached over and touched his bandage wrapped hand. It stung a little still but the bleeding had stopped. It had only broken the top few layers of skin, barely bleeding at all. “It’s doing fine. Probably won’t even scar.”

“Won’t affect your playing?”

“No, sir,” he said, still not looking at Malik directly.

“Are you able to play now?” Altair just shrugged. He flinched when Malik gently tipped his head up. “I don’t like talking to the top of your head, Altair.”

“Habit,” was all he said. Malik’s hand stayed under his chin, barely touching him.

“Is your hand well enough to play?”

“Tomorrow, probably. I should give it time to heal.”

“Good,” Malik nodded. “I’ve heard you playing for Desmond, you sound better every time, I swear.”

“Yeah, it’s called practice,” Altair said. Malik laughed. He’d never made a vampire laugh before. Well, except Desmond. But that hardly counted. Desmond was a baby.

“How are you sleeping?”

“That’s not your concern,” Altair said and finally pulled his head out of Malik’s reach, taking a step back into his room, hand on the door. “I don’t give you permission to come in here,” he said when he saw Malik try to step over his threshold. While Malik was invited into the castle and that meant every room he was welcome in you could revoke that permission. Altair had learned that when Desmond had first learned to walk and ended up almost going into rooms he shouldn’t have been in because he was curious. Altair was technically a member of the house and he could deny others access to rooms. He didn’t do it often.

Malik was frozen at the doorway. “I’m just trying to help you, Altair.”

“I asked you to leave me alone, sir,” Altair said. “That would help me.”

“How? Huh?”

“What does my condition have to do with you? You’re not of this coven, you’re not of this house. You’re just a guest. You shouldn’t meddle in the affairs of your hosts-

“Because I am not a monster is why,” Malik snapped. “And when I see suffering I want to end it if I can. My country is tearing itself apart and my coven decided to ‘make the best of it’ by coming to the conclusion that because humans were killing each other they could just casually hunt humans again like we were monsters. I couldn’t do anything to end the suffering there but damnit I can try and do something here,” he’d gotten very worked up and Altair was glad they were on opposite sides of the threshold.

“You don’t deserve to be treated like this, Altair. I want to help you.”

“I don’t want your help. So far you’ve done nothing but bring me pain,” Altair told him. “I was in ignorant bliss before. And you thinking you know what is best for me, a man you don’t even know, just made my reality all the more crushing. I told you before, you may help me now but you won’t be here forever, and when you leave this is where I’ll be. I’d rather not know the silken pillow for the stone that comes later.” Malik had nothing to say to that but he looked very annoyed.

“I need to go to bed now. Goodnight, Malik,” and he closed the door. He heard Malik make an wordless noise of anger and frustration on the other side but he didn’t care. He sat back down on his cot to finish stringing the violin. Only then did he put it away carefully and crawl into bed.

—

Now that Altair had taken Desmond outside the boy wanted to go more often. Altair didn’t mind. It was nice this time of year. Brisk at night, a creeping autumn chill settling in the valley. The leaves were starting to change color and soon they’d be falling. The master would bring some humans up in the day and have the grounds raked. It’d start snowing early and last well into spring. Altair had liked autumn and winter before he’d come to the castle but up here in isolation he hated it. There was no hot cider or warm fruit pies or the harvest festival.

So he was surprised when the master came and found Altair and Desmond in one of the gardens. Desmond was splashing his hands in the fountain, chasing the fish around the circular pond and slapping the water to make them dart away. Every time they swam away he’d laugh. Altair had a lamp beside him and was drawing idly. When the master came up he stopped drawing and kept his eyes down.

“So this is where you’ve been off to,” the master said.

“Yes, sir. The young master likes being outside in this weather,” Altair said, looking at the vampire’s well made shoes.

“Good. The town is throwing a festival in a few days. Bring him down to it.”

Altair looked up in surprise but when he met the master’s black eyes his brows went down and Altair immediately looked down again. “The harvest festival? We’re to go this year?”

“Yes. It’s good for him to see what sorts of things humans do so he isnt stupid.”

“Am I simply to accompany you and the mistress or am I free to wander?”

The master was thoughtful. “We will be the king and queen of the harvest and stationary. But a festival is a big place for exploring. We want our son to experience it.”

“Of course, master,” Altair bowed slightly where he was sitting.

“Ensure you look presentable when you go down there. You reflect on us as well,” he said.

“Yes, master,” Altair nodded. You mean not wear the same shirt he’d worn three days in a row because he hadn’t had a chance to wash them because he couldn’t add his laundry to the coven’s. William left after that, stopping briefly to see what Desmond was doing but he didn’t have much interest in the child.

Altair bit his lower lip and went back to his drawing. He needed to plan for this and make sure he had time to clean his nicer clothes. Or at least his nicest clothes. They were fairly nice too. He didn’t wear them often so he could keep them in good shape.

He heard a rustling of the trees and looked up, shielding the lamp slightly to help with his night vision. At first he saw nothing and then he hunched. A few members of the coven were flying off into the dark, their dragonfly and beetle wings flashing in the silver moonlight. He could hear their voices from here but not what they were saying, chattering to each other. Desmond looked up too. He held onto the fountain and started jumping up and down his little transparent wings buzzing without generating any lift. But he was trying.

They swooped across the nearly full moon, laughing and playing and Altair didn’t like watching them. Seeing human figures with wings like bugs flying in the night sky didn’t fill him with a sense of wonder. Were they just playing? Or were they out to play hunt? He’d heard of that happening, especially this coven. Not in Castlesong but in other towns in the valley they’d play stalk and hunt the people there only to laugh and dart away into the sky, finding the human’s fear of being eaten hilarious.

The vampires darted around the air but eventually flew too far away for Altair to hear or see them anymore. That made him feel better. He turned away from the sky. Desmond whined in annoyance he couldn’t fly with them and kept jumping to try and fly after them. Then he sat angrily on the ground, arms folded, pouting hard. Altair grinned watching him. “You’ll fly one day, Desmond,” Altair called to him. Desmond just whined and reached up towards the moon. “I know. You’ll get there when you’re older, just like the others,” Altair promised him.

“Now,” Desmond whined. Altair laughed. Desmond got up and came over to Altair and collapsed on his thigh. “Now,” he said looking up at Altair.

“Sorry. I can’t fly, neither can you,” he stroked Desmond’s hair gently. “But once your wings are bigger you’ll be able to.” Desmond just whined. “I know. Being a sweet little boy is so hard,” Altair teased him. Desmond whined louder and Altair just laughed some more.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Altair nearly jumped out of his skin at the voice behind him. He twisted around and frowned. It was Malik. He’d left Altair alone for a few days but he couldn’t seem to figure it out that Altair wanted to just be left alone for real. He was dressed in an elegant black and blue outfit that wasn’t a cut Altair had ever seen. At least not on a man. It looked almost like a dress but closer to a long tunic.

“Did you need something, sir?” Altair asked, looking at Desmond instead of Malik.

“I couldn’t help but overhear. Desmond wanted to join the others in a flight?”

“Yes. But he’s still too little.” Desmond pouted at Altair.

“Well that’s true, but he can still fly.”

Altair looked at him in confusion. “Unless there’s something I’m missing about how wings work, no he can’t,” he said.

He almost swallowed his tongue when Malik came around and without asking picked Desmond up. The child protested for half a second but in that time Malik unfurled his huge wings and picked himself up off the ground. Then Desmond started making happy little squeaks like he did when she was a newborn.

Altair got to his feet nervously, drawings forgotten. “Don’t drop him,” Altair called up to Malik who was only ten or so feet above his head.

“I would never,” Malik said. He flew back and forth around the fountain.

Altair’s heart was in his throat when Malik flew up over the garden trees and he lost sight of them in the darkness. His heart pounded with anxiety and then a huge pair of eyes appeared in the darkness above. Altair took a moment to realize it was the false eyes on the inside of Malik’s moth-like wings. He let out a shaky breath of relief when Malik landed in front of him.

“He’s fine,” Malik said even as Altair snatched the baby from Malik.

“If he was anything less than fine it’d be my life,” Altair said, holding Desmond tightly.

“Plaw!” Desmond cried happily, squirming in Altair’s arms but Altair kept a firm grip on him.

Altair took a deep breath to calm himself but his heart was still hammering. “Did you enjoy that?” he asked Desmond. Desmond nodded hugely, a huge smile on his face. “What do we say to people who do nice things for us?” he asked and faced Desmond towards Malik.

“Thank you,” Desmond cried cutely.

Malik looked taken aback a moment and then softened. “You’re welcome. What are you doing out here?”

“We’re enjoying the night,” Altair said, trying not to sound incredulous. He was a servant, not a captive. He could leave the castle as he wanted and certainly walk the grounds.

“Plaw plaw,” Desmond demanded.

“Desmond, hush,” Altair said.

“Altear, plaw!”

Altair sighed. “Alright.” He’d left his violin in the castle. He tried to juggle Desmond around to pick up his things but to his surprise Malik just did so instead. “I can take those,” he said, holding a hand out for them.

“I don’t mind,” Malik said.

“I’m sure this doesn’t qualify as leaving me alone,” Altair said.

“I live here. You’ll have to get used to me being around,” Malik said with a smirk. The real annoying part about it was that it just made Malik look more handsome, especially with his slightly wind ruffled hair from flying.

Altair just didn’t bother arguing. “Fine,” he said and took Desmond back into the castle. He let the boy down in his room and Desmond ran around and pulled out some of his toys and set them up like a little audience to listen to Altair play the violin. “I’ll take that now,” he held his hand for his things again to Malik.

“Can I join the audience?” Malik asked sheepishly. That annoyed Altair. Why was he so persistent in trying to bother Altair? Couldn’t he just leave Altair alone? But Altair figured at this point it’d be easier just to go along with it than fight Malik on it. He was good at making himself a nuisance and Altair didn’t have the energy to fight him.

“If you want,” and Altair took the sketchbook and his pencils. Malik glided into the room and sat cross legged behind Desmond’s toys he was still setting up to witness Altair’s playing.

Altair got his violin and got ready. He’d built up the proper calluses now over the weeks and his hand dexterity was way up. That made him happy. “Is everyone ready?” he asked Desmond who was carefully aligning his toys just so.

“Almost,” Desmond said, rearranging the wooden horses he had into some order that made the most sense to him, which Altair had no idea what that was but it made him happy. Then Desmond flopped down next to a large soft stuffed animal. “Plaw,” he said and he gave a little cheer when Altair drew out the first chord across the strings.

The two vampires watched and listened in silent delight. Altair hardly noticed them. He was playing a song he’d found the last time he’d visited his father. He’d brought some sheet music back up to the castle to have some actual music to play. The song he played was the only one he’d memorized so far. It was normally played with a singing accompaniment but Altair didn’t sing well enough to try. It was about a mountain climber trying to reach the tallest peak surrounding the valley. But he was foolish and went during a blizzard and never came home. People found him frozen to death on the side of the mountain a week later once the weather turned. It was a sad song but the tempo was upbeat and was usually sung as a cheerful but cautionary tale about not being an idiot and staying home during blizzards.

He finished the song and Malik clapped. Desmond looked at Malik and after a second mimicked him, slapping his palms together and not really succeeding in a proper clap. “That was amazing,” Malik said. “Right, Desmond? Altair plays beautiful music.”

“Bu-ful,” Desmond declared, still clapping.

“Did you make that?” Malik asked him.

“No. It’s a well known bard tune here in the valley. It’s about not going out during a blizzard or you’ll freeze to death,” Altair said.

“Excuse my ignorance: what’s a blizzard?” Malik asked. “We don’t have that where I’m from.”

“Well it's a storm but instead of rain it’s snow so thick you can’t see through it and can drop feet and feet of snow. It’s dangerous to go out in because of the cold.”

Malik grimaced. “That sounds terrible. Do you have blizzards often here?”

“A few times during winter, yes.” He laughed when Malik shivered just thinking about it. “You came here.”

“I didn’t think the weather would be that extreme,” Malik admitted.

“Altear, plaw plaw,” Desmond said, quite over the adults having a conversation when he could have more music.

“Okay okay,” Altair said to quiet him. He tried playing a song he was in the process of memorizing. He had the first part down but the second part was coming along slow. But he played it and the vampires didn’t care that he played the first few dozen bars over and over again to try and remember the next part.

Eventually he grew frustrated. He needed the sheet music. “Alright, that’s enough for now,” he declared.

“Awwww,” Desmond complained.

“I’ll play later,” Altair said.

“Yay!”

“Now put your toys away. They all want to go home after the performance,” Altair said. Desmond got up and started picking up his toys.

Malik unfolded from the floor. “That was magnificent,” he said, coming over to Altair as he was putting his instrument away. “It sounds so different from how you started off.”

“Desmond insists I play every day. It’s hard not to improve,” Altair said.

“I’m quite jealous of him. He gets to hear you play all the time. I just do if I happen to walk by at the right moment.” Altair just shrugged. Malik looked at Desmond cleaning up. “I’ve seen other vampire children, they’re never this well behaved, or clean up their own mess,” he said.

“Were they raised by vampires, or humans?”

“Vampires,” Malik said.

“Vampire parents don’t care about their children,” Altair said, punctuating it with clasps on the case snapping closed.

“That’s not true,” Malik protested.

Altair looked at him mildly, looking up but over his shoulder just so Malik wouldn’t touch him. “From what I’ve seen so far they don’t,” was all he said.

Malik grimaced. “Well... William and Kaley aren’t really star parent material I’ll agree,” he said. “But most other vampire parents care about the raising of their children. They’re still rarely this well behaved.”

“You can care about your children but if they’re old and aloof you’ll neglect them anyway,” Altair said. “And they’ll act unruly. I assume that’s why the masters have had humans raise their children for them. They know they don’t care, so force a human to care about them instead.”

Malik was taken aback. “The rest of them?”

“As far as I know,” Altair shrugged. He moved away from Malik and went to help Desmond with the last bit of putting his toys away. “What do you want to do now, Desmond?”

Desmond looked thoughtful. “Dwa,” he said.

“Okay,” Altair said gently and got some paper and pastels and pencils and put them on the floor for Desmond to draw with. Altair didn’t mind if Malik was still there. He could hang around if he wanted but Altair didn’t care about him. His only worry was Desmond. Desmond had an active imagination and loved drawing and it was full of color and intricate lines as he mimicked Altair. Altair also sometimes drew him lined drawings to color in. He’d gotten very good at drawing flowers as of late for Desmond to color in as those were some of Desmond's favorites. It meant there was a stuffed folder full of messily colored well drawn flowers.

He was shocked when Malik sat down on the floor with them. “May I join you, young master?” he asked Desmond.

“Dwa?”

“Yes. I like to draw too.”

“Okie,” Desmond said happily and went back to merrily scribbling on some paper.

Altair looked at Malik as he started drawing on a half used piece of paper Desmond had already drawn a few wide scribbles on. He was using Desmond seemingly random lines to make something out of them. Altair couldn’t help but keep glancing at what Malik was drawing even as he was casually using the pastels to make block shapes on his own paper. He was surprised that Malik was actually quite good. He had a delicate but purposeful hand, the pencil he was using barely leaving a mark on the paper but he went over it again and again to build up depth and volume in a way Altair had never seen before.

After a little while he’d turned some spiraled scribbles Desmond had put on the paper into strange centaurs of those striped horses that pulled his carriage. Zebras? Altair thought that was what they were called.

“Ooo,” Desmond leaned over to see what Malik was doing. “Horsey,” he pointed.

“Yes. They’re called zebras,” Malik said patiently.

“Zeeebas,” Desmond said.

“Close,” Malik allowed. “I have some.”

“Have horsies?”

Altair sighed. “Now you’ve done it?”

“What?” Malik asked.

“Horsies. Horsies. Horsies!” Desmond cried. “Altear horsies.”

“I take it he likes horses?” Malik asked with a grin.

“He loves horses. Ever since he saw Jacob and Evie leave that one time on them a few weeks ago to go visit a town in the north part of the valley but they were too lazy to fly,” Altair sighed.

“Altear, horsies! Zeeeebas!”

“I think he just wants to taste one at this point,” Altair leaned on his thigh.

Malik chuckled. “I have zebras,” he told Desmond. Desmond’s black eyes got huge. “Would you like to see them, young master?” Desmond’s mouth popped open and he just made a high pitched screeing sound he did when he was excited.

Altair reached over and closed his mouth. “That’s loud,” he said. Desmond flapped his hands at Altair excitedly, whining loudly. “Use your words and answer master Malik properly,” he said calmly.

Desmond tried to compose himself but he still flapped his arms excitedly. “Go zeebas?”

“Ah— if it’s alright with Altair,” Malik looked at Altair.

“What do we say?” Altair asked Desmond.

“Please!”

“Yes. We see the zebras. But first we have to clean up.” Desmond made an annoyed noise. “The quicker we clean up the sooner we can see the zebras.” Desmond immediately got up and started putting the pastels and pencils into their wooden bin. Altair gathered up the papers. Malik handed over his zebra centaurs over to Altair to add to the pile. Altair took a more than cursory glance over the picture and quickly put it away and got up to hide his blush. The two centaurs had his and Malik’s faces on them.

How inappropriate.

Altair picked up the bin and put them away, out of reach of Desmond normally and the paper went into one of the nearly overflowing folders full of paper. “All clean?” Altair asked Desmond.

“All cwean!” Desmond said proudly. Altair held out his hand and Desmond bounced over to grab it. “Zeebas now?” he asked, pulling on Altair’s hand.

“Yes. If that’s alright with you, sir.”

“Of course. I offered,” Malik said. He guided them out of the room and through the castle. They passed a few members of the coven who’d just come back from their flight, laughing and shoving each other playfully. They greeted Malik and Desmond but ignored Altair entirely, not even acknowledging that he was holding Desmond’s hand while he excitedly told them they were going to see the horses in the stables. Then they passed the trio by and disappeared into the castle.

“Rude bunch,” Malik said.

“They’re vampires,” was all Altair said and he saw Malik wince.

They left the castle and Altair saw the dull color of a false dawn on the horizon. They couldn’t be out here too long. Malik led them around the drive to the stables. In the large stables were normal horses and in a paddock outside were Malik’s four zebras.

Desmond cried out when he saw the zebras and pulled on Altair’s hand but Altair only walked a little faster.

They got to the fence and Altair picked Desmond to put him on top of the fence to sit, holding onto the boy lightly so he didn’t fall. “Just be ready to grab him,” Malik said.

“Why?”

“Zebras can be... aggressive,” Malik said even as he climbed over the fence. Yes. Just say that and walk off like it didn’t shoot worry all through Altair instantly.

He didn’t know what Malik was doing but he did start leading a zebra over by a halter. The creature seemed lethargic. Not a shock. It was late and it had probably been just woken up. “Here we go, young master, a zebra,” Malik said, presenting the zebra before Desmond. “I believe this one’s name is Qaseem.”

“Horsie,” Desmond said and reached out to pet the front of its nose. The zebra allowed it, its eyes lidded and sleepy. “Pretty,” he said.

“Yes. They are, aren’t they,” Malik said. “They’re from my country, far to the south of here. Only vampires keep them.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re a pain to train, and breed, and maintain,” Malik said and Desmond just stared at him, not understanding. “Because humans don’t like them,” he said instead.

“Ooooh.” That Desmond understood.

Malik let Desmond pet Qaseem for a little bit before Altair said, “The sun will be up soon. We should go back inside.”

“No. Horsie,” Desmond whined.

“We can see the horsie tomorrow night too. But the sun is coming. We don’t like the sun, right?”

Desmond looked torn. “Sun bad,” he finally agreed.

Altair helped Desmond down from the fence once he gave Qaseem one last pet on the head. Malik released the zebra to go back and join the others of the little herd. He climbed over the fence and joined them on the right side. “See zeebas again?”

“Yes, of course,” Malik said.

“Yay! Altear, hungry,” he proclaimed.

“Yes. I’m sure,” Altair said.

---------

Hey you, yeah, if you liked it, consider reblogging. It helps me a lot. Maybe leave something nice in the tags idk.

#Assassin's Creed #AltMal #Altair #Malik al-Sayf #Desmond Miles #Moth Wings #shut up bb

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writing-gifts · 4 years

Text

we ain’t in kansas anymore ch.02 (bruno x gn!reader)

chapter 01

-----

A/N: okay im trying to do gn!reader but a lot of italian is gendered so when i'm trying to use cute little names or have someone refer to reader it causes issues. So I could use * or @ for the ‘a’ or ’o’ at the end of these terms for writing but that doesn’t work for dialogue, so i'm just gonna use ‘u’ for ex: instead of cara or caro ill say caru

anyways bruno isnt in this chapter but you get to do ur laundry heh

Italian dialogue is “italicized like this”

---

The whirring sound of the payphone buzzes in your ear as you wait for someone to pick up. You close your eyes as the seemingly perpetual sound fills your head, hoping for the result you want.

Please please please...

A click.

"Hello?"

"H-Hello, is this ___ ___? Or do you know someone by that name?"

"Sorry, I think you have the wrong number."

"Oh, okay. Thanks," you reply, furrowing your brows and biting your lip. You hang the phone back on the receiver.

What now?

Someone knocks on the door behind you.

You lift your head from the glass you had rested it on and see a man looking at you impatiently from outside the phone booth.

You open the door to get out. "Sorry about that. I accidentally zoned out..."

What?

“Uh nevermind." Grimacing, you quickly walk away towards Fugo who’s waiting for you.

The moment you're close enough you realize that Fugo is giving you a disapproving look. “Please don’t talk to random people.”.

You can't help frowning at his tone. It wasn’t that harsh but you're tired. “I know, it's just habit but I'll try to stop...

He sighs. "No, I shouldn't have said it like that. Just try to avoid it okay."

Even though you were a bit caught off guard by how quickly he backtracked, you nod and follow him as he walks ahead of you.

"I'm taking you to a hotel nearby that you'll be staying at until further notice."

At least that was one less thing to worry about.

After some silence Fugo speaks up again.

“...Did you find out what you wanted?”

“I found out something but it wasn't what I hoped. That guy’s powers--”

“Stand ability,” Fugo corrects.

“Yea that...I’m 100% sure he could pull people from different realities or universes or something along those lines.”

"So you getting home has become much more unlikely."

You rub at your temples. "There has to be a way though…"

Fugo doesn’t look convinced but doesn’t say anything more.

After hailing a taxi, you and Fugo finally reach the hotel. It was a small business that looked like it had been there for many years.

“Who’s paying for this?” you ask.

“Buccellati has already taken care of it.”

You felt a bit strange about that, but it was nice that he was doing all of this instead of leaving you confused in the streets.

For being in the mafia these guys aren’t too scary, especially Narancia. At the same time, you haven’t even known them for a full day however you choose to ignore the small knot anxiety within you.

Maybe Buccellati just felt he was responsible for you...

As soon as you and Fugo enter, you are immediately greeted by a pretty, older woman standing behind a counter.

Fugo and the lady converse in Italian while you look over to the side waiting. You hoped you showing up suddenly like this wasn’t too much trouble.

“___--” your attention snaps back to them, “this is Signora Rizzo”

“Stella Rizzo”, she interjects. “You can just call me Stella caru mio.”

Fugo deadpans but continues, “She’ll show you to your room. If you need anything just come to her.”

You nod. “Um, are you coming back again or…?”

“Most likely, but I don’t know when.”

Fugo moves to leave and you tell him bye which he awkwardly returns.

Stella gives you a warm smile and you feel yourself relax and return your own smile, although not as full.

“Let me take you to your room, you must be tired.”

Mrs. Stella leads you up the stairs to the 2nd floor of the hotel. The hallway’s a bit narrow and there's only 4 doors from what you can see. You wondered if there was anyone else staying here right now.

She stops in front of the door 2nd closest to the stairway. “Okay here's the room you'll be staying in--it’s the best one.” She winks at you before pulling out a key from her skirt pocket and unlocking the door for you.

“Here’s the key.” Her polished nails touch your palm as she places the key in your hand. “I think you're going to be holding on to it for a while so make sure to keep it safe kay?”

"Okay." You look at the key in your hand and slip it into your pocket for now. You needed to find a keyring or bag for yourself later.

“I'll be right back caru. You can get yourself comfortable.”

She leaves you in the room alone. It was simply furnished, with a bed, a desk, a dresser, and a small old tv. There's a door to the side which you go to open and see is a small restroom.

You walk in and look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes immediately go to your neck. It’s stained with dried blood, but there wasn’t any type of cut. Other than it feeling pretty strange, there was nothing.

Was this another stand thing?

You sigh to yourself. Your shirt was also stained, but the workers at the restaurant hadn’t even shown a hint of anything being out of the norm. You honestly wish you could do the same.

You wanted to shower first but had no new clothes. Maybe you could hand wash and let them dry overnight?

You're about to turn on the faucet to the sink when you hear a knock on the hotel room door. Expecting it to be Mrs. Stella, you leave the bathroom to let her in. She holds out some folded cloth and a basket filled with various items to you .

“I brought you some clothes caru. I thought you would want something to change into for bed--I'm sorry that they aren't very appealing looking-- and I also brought you a toothbrush, soap, towel, and some other stuff I can’t remember grabbing too.”

The appearance wasn’t an issue, you were just glad you wouldn’t have to sleep naked tonight. You laugh a little,“Thanks. By the way, do you have a place where I can wash my clothes?”

“You have to hand wash them. I can get you a tub and detergent.”

“Oh guess you had the right idea. It wasn't a lot so you could just use the sink like you originally planned.”

“Detergent is enough, thanks! Actually I'll come with you.”

“Sure and if you need anything else don't be afraid to come down to the front desk and ask. My children sometimes take up the front but they should still be able to help you.”

Were her kids anything like her?

After you're given the detergent, you head back to your room.

You empty your pockets and change out of your clothes to take a quick shower. After you're done and dried off, you put on the spare clothes you were given--a plain t-shirt and some comfortable athletic shorts.

You loosen the drawstring until you're comfortable, then grab your dirty clothes that you tossed on the bathroom floor. When the sink’s filled halfway, you pour detergent into the (too hot) water. Even after all the scrubbing, the stains were still slightly visible but not enough to notice unless someone was close.

You wring out the excess water and let the sink drain so you can rinse out your clothes. You then take them out to the small balcony attached to your room and hang your clothes on the railing.

The streetlights light up parts of the empty street and sidewalks, while the alleyways seem to only embrace the darkness making it impossible to see or tell the things that could be possibly happening within.

You frown, suddenly feeling even more exhausted and go back inside. The moment you get comfortable in bed, you’re asleep within a minute.

----

You stir from your sleep feeling as if someone has turned on the lights. Your eyes open just slightly enough and you immediately pull the covers over your head when you realise that the light from the window is shining directly on your face.

Did you have work today? You reach out to grab your phone where you usually left it on your night stand but your hands grab at air. You grumble. What time was it?

A minute passes before you poke your head out from under your covers and stare at the glass door of the balcony across the room. You stare wondering when you got a balcony. Your eyes widen and you sit up and look at your surroundings.

So that wasn’t a dream.

You frown remembering your situation, and rub the sleep from your eyes.

You honestly just want to go back to bed but you’re too awake now, so you force yourself to move towards the restroom and go through your usual morning routine. When you finish brushing your teeth, you walk on to the balcony, watching the people going about their day as you gather your clothes.

You snap out of it when you realize that a random person has noticed you staring and go back in to change with sluggish movements. You try to get your appearance in order the best you can with the items that were given to you yesterday..

While you’re in the middle of cleaning your face, Mrs. Stella shows up at your door, giving you a quite chiper good morning and asks if you want to join her for breakfast. Even though the thought was kind, you felt a little nervous going out of your room for too long, so you ask if you can eat in there instead.

“I hope I’m not taking up too much of your time.”

“It’s fine caru mio. I’m serious when I say don’t be afraid to ask for anything.”

Mrs. Stella comes back with eggs, bread with jam, fruit and a caffè latte--you mimic her words--to drink.

Seeing all that food made you realize how hungry you were. You thank her before you take it into your room to eat.

It was delicious and you honestly wanted seconds but you weren’t comfortable asking.

After you’re done, you realize that you need to take the plate downstairs but you don’t want to bring it back down dirty. Cleaning it in the restroom sink wasn’t probably the best idea either.

Other than that you don't really know what to do now. Were you going to spend the whole day here?

You rub at your neck without thinking. Something was definitely wrong with it--you could barely turn your head without discomfort.

A knock sounds on the door and you get up to open it expecting to see Mrs. Stella again.

"Fugo?"

The teen stands in front of you, wearing the same green, holey suit from yesterday. (Did he have multiple of the same outfit?)

“I came to pick you up.”

“That was quick. Uh where are we going?”

“You’ll know when we get there. We’re kinda on a tight schedule; we only have a small time window for this.”

It must not be safe to say here but you can't help thinking it was bothersome not knowing what was happening.

You run inside quickly to grab your phone and key. You see the plate on your dresser and also grab it.

”What's that in your hand,” Fugo asks as you walk down the stairs.

“...My dirty plate?”

He looks at you as if you said something stupid. “No I mean in your other hand.”

“Oh,” okay that was a little dumb, “That’s my phone.”

“So that’s what phones will evolve to...”

You hum showing him your phone more clearly, “Touch screens are pretty much the norm in like 2 decades. I can’t imagine going back to anything before it at this point!” There could be a prototype or something existing right now for all you know.

You wave goodbye to Mrs. Stella after giving her your dish which you can’t help apologizing for. She waves it off of course, but next time maybe you’d eat with her so you could wash your own dish.

You’re then led outside of the building to a car parked at the other side of the street.

You see Narancia’s head poking out of the window on the passenger side.

He perks up when he sees you. "Good morning ____!"

“Good morning”, you say back you can't help grinning. His smile was kind of contagious.

You get into the back of the car and lean towards Narancia’s seat to catch his attention. “Hey, you know where we’re going? Oh wait--nevermind.” You shake your hand next to your head as if you’re fanning your words away.

Leaning back, you pull the seat belt across your body. You wish you knew more than a few basic Italian phrases.

Narancia looks a little confused but understands that he doesn’t need to worry about it.

You play with your phone and Narancia listens to the radio as Fugo drives you all to wherever you are going.

As you slide the screen back and forth looking at the no signal symbol--your phone only had 50% charge left--you land on the page with your translation app.

...Would it still work?

You open it, pick the Italian option and type something into it.

When you press the speaker symbol, you and Narancia slightly jump when the sound of a robotic voice sounds in the car. Woops, you didn’t realize the volume was that loud.

“Uh, what was that?” Narancia asks.

“Ayy, really works!” the app said.

“What are you doing?” Fugo asks, furrowing his brows from the weird sentence but trying to keep most of his focus on the road.

“I have a translator app on my phone. It might come in handy? Probably only for simple statements though.” Typing ‘ayy’ probably wasn’t helping though.

You wonder when stuff like this actually came out. You didn’t have strong knowledge on when certain technology showed up (or became obsolete). These things just came and went into your life without you giving it much thought.

Narancia forces Fugo to explain and then he turns towards you, he eyes your phone with a very curious look on his face.

“I don't completely get it but sounds cool!”

You couldn't see Fugo’s face but he was curious as well.

#bruno aint in this chapter so im not even gonna tag the ship or him lol #this is pretty much a setup chapter #reader insert #jjba #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #oc #this is my first time making an oc in a fanfiction #Pannacotta Fugo #Narancia Ghirga #my writing #gift's writing #x reader

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xmalereader · 5 years

Text

Javier Pena X Male Reader

|| Masterlist ||

Summary: And they were roommates *Le gasp*

Warnings: Language, Sarcasm, Javi being an asshole at first, Spanish. Italics means it’s in Spanish or I will write it in Spanish because this child speaks it!!

“Senora, Rosa please.” A young adult male follows around a middle aged women as she walks around the apartment building that he was living in. “I said, I would allow anyone to live here but I don’t have the time for a roommate I need to focus on my projects and whoever this guy is they could ruin my life—!”

“Ya!!” Señora Rosa shouts out as she twirls around to stand in front of y/n with an angry look on her face.

Never anger a middle aged Colombian women.

“Estoy cansada de escuchando te!”

She was tired of listening to his complaints he’s been complaining to her all day about him not wanting a roommate at the moment but as the landlord she was either going to force him or throw him out. So of course, y/n silently agrees to allow his new roommate to settle into his own apartment.

He was going to regret sharing a place with a stranger, as much as he enjoyed having company around he just couldn’t help but want to be alone whenever he’s at home and not have someone on his constant back every single day.

“He’s a nice young man, you’ll like him.” Said Senora Rosa as she gives him a grin and hands him a spare key to hand to his new roommate to be.

—

Javier was moving back to Colombia for a short period of time, after being caught a couples of years back he was allowed to return back with new information and work in a much bigger position then his last. He’s going to be honest he missed Murphy, his trustworthy partner that he actually got a long with unlike the other partners he had in the past but that all ended once they caught Escobar, Murphy got what he wanted and returned back to America to live with his wife and daughter. Leaving Javi on his own once again.

Once he returned to Colombia to continued working for the DEA, he first needed a place to stay at and moving into his old apartment won’t work since they were all taken. So, before he could arrive he remembers finding any available place, he could stay there but as long as he can handle a roommate. Something that Javier wasn’t up to do but he had no choice but ot take the place wether he likes it or not.

He’s spoken to the landlord about his sudden roommate, she only told him that he was a quiet man and mainly stayed home focusing on his art work. Turns out that his roommate was a painter and worked over seas during a couple of months, but this year his roommate wont be going anywhere.

Javier made sure that his stuff was sent earlier to the apartment, he hasn’t gotten his key yet so he had to knock in order to get inside his new place. He stands outside and waits for the other to answer, he hears slight commotion on the other side of the door and hopes that his roommate wasnt having sex in the middle of the living room or something.

The door swings open to reveal a young man, he looked a little younger than Javier and more American looking but that didn’t matter to him. “Can I help you?” The other asks as he stands in front of the doorway with a rag in his hands, he noticed that they were covered in paint which is why he was cleaning them off. “New roommate? You Y/n?”

The other groans softly and sighs, “Yeah.” He pushed the door wider for him to enter as he walks back to the living room. His place was big, big enough for a family to live in. “So you’re Javier right?” Y/n asks as he tossed the dirty rag on the kitchen counter and turns on the sink to properly clean his hands. Javier watched him closely and nods. “Yeah, Rosa tell you?”

“Something like that,” y/n mumbles out and dries off his hands. “Listen; if you’re going to be staying here theirs going to be some rules.” Javier leans against the counter and pulls out a cigarette, putting the between his lips as he sighs. “And they are?”

Y/n approached him and removes the cigarette from his lips. “First rule, I don’t allow smoking. If you are going to be living under my roof then you are going to keep my air clean. If you want to smoke you’ll have to do it outside and if I notice that you smoked indoors I won’t hesitate to kill you.” He hissed out and tossed the cigarette in the garbage. “Second rule; No drinking either.”

“You’re kidding right?” This guy was taking away everything that he liked doing when he was alone but he was going to have to live with it. Sighing deeply he rubs his temples and nods. “Fine, anything else?” He was tired and just wanted to get some rest before he heads off to work tomorrow morning.

Y/n taps his chin in a childish way as he puts on a thinking face. “Oh right! How could I forget?” He laughs out, making his way around the kitchen, grabbing an apple and a knife. “If you want to have you’re little fun wiht your lady friends, you’ll have to do that at their place. I don’t allow that here.”

That was it, he crossed the line.

“Now, you can’t do that. I live here so I might as well and put some rules down myself!” Javier exclaimed in anger. “Oh, yeah and what’s that?” Y/n questions as he held the knife up and points it at javiers face, threatening him. “This is my apartment, I slaved and I slaved to earn the money that I need to move here. So don’t you dare say that you own this place when you don’t. So, if you so badly hate the rules then you might as well and find yourself another place to live.” With that he silenced Javier.

“You’re crazy.” Javier mumbled out as he watched him closely.

“Thank you, I take that as a compliment.” He finish’s cutting up his apple and smiles at Javier. “Make yourself at home.” He added and leaves back to the living room to continue on with his projects that he left behind.

Javier rubs his face in frustration. “This is going to be harder than I thought.”

—

After living with y/n for two months, Javier was quick to get adjusted to the place and to the rules. Their morning routines for the first couple of days were horrible, the two would argue about one of them making coffee and the other wanting to make tea. Same with breakfeast, y/n would be up early making food and blasting music which irritated Javier so much. He knows that the other had to be up early as well and do his own work, but Javier just couldn’t stand the blasting music.

But the two were able to work it out. The two made a plan for every morning and were to stick with it for the last two months. The two were quick to become friends, sometimes Javier would come home late and would sometimes buy them a pizza and the two would sit together in the living room and just talk about their burdens.

“Anything new on your project?” Javi asks and leans back on the couch. After living with Y/n for the last two months he noticed that he was an artist and would often spend his time standing in the living room in front of a colorful canvas or a blank one when he can’t think of anything. He was quiet famous for his work and would sometimes sell his own pieces, he didn’t get much but it was enough for him to live here in Colombia and to get the materials that he needed.

“Not yet...” he sighs out and grabs a slice of pizza. Lying down on the couch as he eats it and stares over at his blank canvas. “I would go outside or out in the country but it’s not safe right now. So, might as well and find another way to get inspiration.” He shrugs his shoulders and chewed on his food.

Javier chuckled a little and rolled his eyes. “You usually paint things from nature, why not paint out a portrait of some one? Or of something that happens in the streets?” He asks.

Y/n blinks at the thought and slowly sat up. “You know what? That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I mean I’ve never actually painted anyone before so its going to take awhile for me to do at least one portrait.” He says with a smile. Smirking a little at Javier, he sits up properly with his legs crossed.

“Wanna be my model?” He wiggles his brows with a grin on his face.

Javier raised a brow himself and shakes his head. “I prefer not to.”

“Come on, why not?”

“I’m not a model.”

Y/n scoffs and rolled his eyes, “that doesn’t matter and besides its a simple tasks you just stand there and look pretty. I’ll draw you like one of my French girls.” He grins at Javier and laughs a little. Javier rolled his eyes. “Still, no.” And with that he tossed his pizza crust back inside the pizza box and stands up to go to the balcony and have a smoke. Y/n groans in frustration and shakes his head, he watched Javier leave the living room and go outside , he watched as he stands their and began to smoke which causes an idea to quickly come in mind. He scrambles out of the couch and grabs his sketchbook and a pencil, he sits in front of the entrance of the balcony and began to sketch out Javier. He makes sure that he isnt notice as his hand moves fast against the paper, making sure to get the smaller details so when he paints it out he’lol just have to look at his sketchbook.

He kept looking up at Javier and the back down to his sketchbook, he finishes his body form and his face. grinning as he draws out the eyes before he hears the sound of the balcony door being pushed open. He slaps his sketchbook closed and looks up.

“what were you doing?” Javier asks as he cleans up the mess that they have made. Y/n gives him an innocent smile. “Just drawing what catches my eye.” He replies back before standing up and tucking his sketchbook behind his canvas. “Need help cleaning?”

“Yeah, unless you want to live in a mess and from the looks of it you sort of do.” He gestured around the house where several paintings materials and finishes paintings were being laid around. “My house is clean you jackass.” Y/n says back and takes the trash with him. “Don’t judge me or else you can leave.” He pouts out.

Javier shakes his head with a laugh, he’s usually a closed off person and didn’t show much emotion but living wiht y/n, even though it was for a short period of time, he seemed to open up and be himself only around the other young man that he’s grown to like.

#javier x male reader #javier pena #male reader #javier pena x male reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x male reader

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literalbuzzkill · 4 years

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Below I'm gonna vent so y'all can ignore that XD

I'm basically making this post as a timestamp/reminder for myself about Covid2020 and what I had to deal with during it (even though it's still a relentlessly ongoing problem, as of Jan2021, yikes)

Below is my personal experience in switching from working everyday as an essential retail worker to now a stay at home unemployed/leave of absense person. Don't feel bad about not reading it, it's long, boring, and I can't really expect anyone to actually be interested because the struggle is real and who wants to be reminded of the grim reality we can't currently escape? XD

[The Start:]

I was still working retail up until a few months ago because most people left. And being short staffed already before covid at my store, things became an even worse unmanageable nightmare because they started to work the remaining staff to death because no one really knew what to do which sucked and everyone was rightfully afraid of what was happening all around them, plus everyone internally was hoping that this would all blow over in a decent amount of time and we could all return to normal and never speak of it again. Considering Covid started around late January/early February in 2019 and today's date (for my future reference) is Jan 4th 2021, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it certainly has not blown over in a decent amount of time like originally hoped for. Oof.

I was a closer but because of covid my job turned into 'every position at the store and everything/anything that you can possibly get done'. All the stuff from morning team, mid shift, and nightshift rolled into one. Cashiering, phone calls, cleaning, ship from store, backroom, covering multiple breaks, and every department on hardlines salesfloor,

(I did everything except for guest services, food service, clothing, and hr)

you name it XD because most people abandoned ship and Yeeted (which I dont blame them for, t'was a big mood) our store did not hire replacements until literally a few months ago. After I left. Nice.

We were not getting paid any extra, having to stay late, running around with an unending unfinishable list, having to deal with rude customers and cranky bosses, full 8+hour shifts having to wear a mask (even in the break room, and sometimes missing breaks all together because of the large work load) Another problem, my job did not supply masks, proper cleaning supplies, gloves etc to us until an unacceptable amount of time had passed since the start of the virus. Now I didn't expect them to be stocked and fully prepared immediately, obviously.

It was also pretty frustrating getting reprimanded by customers when supplies were low everywhere and some things necessary for existing safely could not be bought anywhere due to high demand, which was only natural, but some people actually acted like it was our personal fault for the store for being sold out of things like hand sanitizer, masks, gloves, toilet paper, and even accused us for holding it in the back for ourselves (which wasnt the case, customers are top priority at our store so the workers usually got nothing to take home or buy, even if we had pulled it from the truck or stocked it ourselves.)

Aside from the excessive draining from normal retail where we already suffer from Karen's and the often unpleasant general public, the Rona made the daily grind even more intense, as if we already thought it couldn't get any worse.

Straying away from that for a second, personal lives were now also affected greatly. Added on top of this new fear/caution/lifestyle was not being able to see my fiance or his family for months because they are all at very high risk. (Unfortunately I am too, but I really needed the paycheck so I thought I had to keep working until the inevitable, which was not looked forward to, but as long as I was potentially exposed with my job we all had to be apart unless I decided to quit and risk not having enough money to pay my bills or survive.)

(Side note for context: My fiance and I have been very lucky enough to see eachother almost every day for 4 years. Surprisingly we have not gotten sick of eachother yet and kept up with that regularity. And though we are engaged, we dont live together, but we do only live 15 minutes away so we just drive over to eachother everyday. Anyway, point being that going months without seeing him at all killed me internally hardcore. This was before zoom was popular and we were not about to resort to Skype. His parents are older and closer to me than my own family and were not comfortable with any form of in-person visits so we usually just did phone calls.)

And eventually I gave up,

I made it halfway through this pandemic working everyday, not seeing the only people I considered family, and I couldn't do it anymore. It literally didn't feel human.

Not to mention this did not help whatsoever with my pre-existing problems, bad depression, anxiety, ptsd, Self h, etc... it was all just getting way too out of hand with more stress piling up daily and taking too big a toll on me to the point where I couldn't deal with my regular lifestyle anymore. I needed a break and a change to severely turn myself around.

So a few months ago I finally went on leave of absence and it was the hardest thing for me to do but honestly the best thing I did. Because everything was so uncertain and I worried about how helpful unemployment would be towards my bills, if I'd lose my job for being gone too long due to an open ended leave of absense for the sake of my health/safety, and honestly I loved my job and my coworkers, but many of them had already left so at that point it became easier for me to leave.

I'm currently making more on unemployment than my job was paying my bi-weekly and doing leagues better mentally, emotionally, and physically, than before when I thought I could last the whole time working through covid hoping I wouldn't catch it and probably die because my health is not 100% gucci in the first place. I was too stubborn to quit until I got to a breaking point and then realised that putting my health/life on the line when I'm at risk during a pandemic for literally no reason other than feeling bad for my one really kind boss (who ended up leaving for a better job anyway right after I left)

in my brain the whole time I figured "eh if I die then I die" but there was a major upside to saying "you know what, fuck this" and leaving.

I've gotten to take up hobbies and do things that I've wanted to do for like 10 years, I improved my financial situation, bought my dream car(A 2004Crossfire), got engaged to the love of my life, had more time to read, write, learn, create, help my fiance record his first official music video, support smaller businesses, get back in better physical health, regain stability, and a new respect for life, health, friends, family, acts of kindness, and how easy things used to be before covid and how it was unintentionally taken for granted.

Not gonna lie, at first I was pretty mad that people on unemployment made more than essential workers, but I also knew that it wasn't their fault for their personal situations or reasonings for needing it. The problem was mainly that many Companies/jobs could have done more, treated essential workers better, given more help, compensated financially, offered forms of protectionagaint the virus, or done literally anything extra at all to help employees who were struggling or who stay to continue working there during a terrible pandemic, and some companies/jobs have done good things for their workers in response of the outbreak which is awesome.

Workers should absolutely be compensated for their extra efforts, time, and pleasant attitude in this difficult time, and treated better than they are. Some things should 1000% be different but some things in this world are still a work in progress.

And also, for people with health issues that are at risk but working anyway for whatever reason, there shouldn't be any shame felt for taking care of yourself or by the people who have to go on unemployment, those who can't work, lost their jobs, need help or a break, or just can't do it anymore, because it hits hard when you realise that even though your effort is important and you're doing your best, playing an important role in society, you could also be risking your health/life or even possibly someone you live withs, for a company that will replace you pretty easily if you're suddenly gone.

I worked at my store for 4 years, was extremely hard working and did everything and anything I could to stay as long as I could during this, but I realised that I'd rather not risk myself and be treated how I was.

Ultimately, the sad reality is that covid has some people forgetting that humans (whether working or not) are humans too that can die or fail at any time given the current circumstances. Some situations are unavoidable like a pandemic, but we can do our best with whatever reality we meet, whether it's being essential the whole way through like some are able, and knowing your health well enough to be able to judge what's best for you individually for now.

but regardless making sure you're not taking yourself for granted in the process.

I'm lucky enough to not have gotten covid yet, and I hope it stays that way.

If your job isnt doing what it can for you in this time, dont be too stubborn about staying

Its not worth risking yourself for your job honestly, and I really hope peoples jobs do as much as they can for those they employ.

If you aren't working, do something with your time that you'll remember (safe things obviously) and if you are still working keep up the awesome progress, stay safe, and be blessed. ❤

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rainecloud020604 · 4 years

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below the cut is a bit of a long venty self reflection.. tw: sensitive topics, the specifics are in the tags

so with quartinteen going on i’ve had a lot of time to look at myself and my actions, i have a bad habit of over analyzing things and ripping them apart. including myself.

i’ve noticed that i keep a lot of things to myself to the point where its unhealthy, i dont tell people when im upset, i dont tell people that im hurt, i dont even tell my parents when i feel sick anymore unless i feel like im dying and need medicine and maybe a trip to the doctor. Im still scared to do that...

i get made fun of and mocked, told im overreacting when im sick or hurt by my parents. its really affected me, being told to walk it off cause im being a baby or im being a drama queen for attention i dont really want. its at the point where i have fallen into a habit of lying about my health, some days i feel like utter shit and i know it will show, i will tell some people, not my parents, my friends i talk to that day. it’s gotten to the point where i was ready to kill myself because my parents wouldnt listen and take me to a doctor after i could eat or drink anything for two weeks without immediately rushing to the bathroom, that was new years eve... i almost did, it took a lot to not do that, and i scared myself, i was scared to call a hotline, i was scared to move, go downstairs, speak, after i spent 30 minutes breaking down and begging my parents to take me to a doctor i was done with life and done with trying. This really affected me and shook me up for months, it was the first time in years i had ever thought about doing that, i felt horrible and miserable cause i scared a lot of people that night.

my mental health is even worse than my physical health all the time, i normally wont talk about it when its bad unless someone asks, i’ve been brushed off so many times by my family i no longer have that confidence i used to. my dad for the longest of time told me my depression didnt exist until my doctor did, he told me i was lying for attention, he told me i didnt have anxiety, i didnt have anything wrong and i needed to shut up and pay attention, push through it and shut up. mental health issues were tabo around my parents for ages, when we got kicked out of our house and moved in with some friends my mental issues really showed through, this was around the time i joined tumblr, my parents would fight constantly and i fled here for safety, it was clear i had something wrong, all of my sibling do as well, my brother has anger issues and doesnt know how to cope with that, he tends to hit things and hit me when angry cause i pissed him off or was in his way, he’s 11 and three times my size. im 16. my sister has anxiety and depression as well, she always drags herself down and fakes a smile to everything, she cant handle being yelled at anymore. we all have faced abuse from my parents, and then moving into a super toxic and worse place for a year made everything worse, my parents stressed and fighting to the point where we would hide and cry cause it was so much. partially through that year i snapped at my best friends dad for being homophobic, racist and sexist, i said a few things and got suspended from my school while there was a sexual predator on the campus after my friends, he was never arrested and he tried to contact me recently because he was bored. i was broken for awhile but going to the magnet school i met some people who helped me. i made a new friend. that place that was toxic we left after they tried framing us for a bed bug issue and tried making us clean the entire house, and the guy who was my dads formal best friend called my mom a few nasty things and called us all lazy and ungrateful. i had a bike stolen during the move and they refused to give it back. we stayed in a hotel for a bit, i became everyones therapist for a few days, my brothers, sisters, moms and even my dads, i couldnt vent to anyone. we moved in with my grandma, my step grandpa turned out to be an abusive asshole and attacked my aunt and almost attacked my mom and grandma one night when we were going to bed, i had both my brother and sister in my room hiding and crying, i was comforting them and telling them the yelling would be over soon.

my grandma had her ac detroyed, license plate stolen, other stuff stolen from her as well, i was scared to walk to school for a month and had to look at the door at all times. one day he randomly busted through the door and i broke down scared as hell because i was in line of sight and the first person he saw, and was in the same room as him. it took me awhile to recover from that. later on i started failing my classes, i couldnt keep up because my old school wasnt where they were, i was ahead but behind because my motivation slacked and i didnt want to be there, i started getting really sick, i went to try to see my guidance counselor one day because i was ready to break down at everything and i needed to talk to someone and possibly go home, i saw a different one, they recommended a mental health counselor and i start counseling sessions, when i checked out the nurse shamed me for not going to her and checking out. i walked home that day and cried. i started counseling sessions after that, i was still scared to speak about all of these issues, some weeks i didnt see her, others i did, the first day my ela teacher flipper her shit cause i was late that day to her class after i was at a counseling session for part of her class cause i needed to say things and speak. i lost the confidence to talk to me ela teacher after that. she would have issues with the fact that i couldnt speak loudly at times, part of the year she hated the fact that i drew in her class to focus, it took me twice explaining it before she would let me. later on that year she accused me of doing other classwork and make me hold up what i was drawing rather than walking over, i cried the rest of her class and had a panic attack in biology venting to a friend. my parents told me i was being dramatic after breaking down and explaining how my day went. i started to stop speaking up about my issues entirely to them.

i’ve had issues when i am sick at school, i’ve gotten grounded for going home sick, after i was told i could call home, it was because the nurse said i looked tired, she also had told my dad that he knew me better than she did so she was unsure, he told me in the car i put the family to shame and made him look bad, took away my devices, left for work while i took a nap, i woke up still sick and felt even worse mentally, i forced myself to walk and finish up the rest of the school day. it took my mom yelling at my dad to get my devices back, he guilt tripped me after giving them back and i felt horrible for the weekend.

my dad started saying i was faking being sick to skip school, keep in mind i have never skipped a day in my life and have always enjoyed going to school, he was just pissed off. my mental health was affecting my physical health, i wasnt able to see my mental health counselor for a month, when i needed to most.

i started developing and eating disorder again, i started to only eat one meal a day, starve myself for existing, i’ve been fighting it for awhile, it decided to get worse, i am still fighting it. i am at a point where i can handle two meals a day again which is progress.

when quartinteen started, that ment i was stuck at home, unable to focus on my classes anymore, and my counseling sessions were done in zoom, i wasnt ever in a safe place to openly speak. i tried pushing for therapy, my parents considered and agreed, they tried to figure something out and never got back to it. everything has gotten worse, not only in my head but the world around me...

keep in mind all this, happened in two years. most of the belittling and breaking me down however has gone on for most of my life.

i dont want sympathy, i want to get this off my damn chest, i dont want attention, i was this at hand so when i need to point at something that happened to me i have to reference to while im breaking down. im sorry about all this mess and wasting time typing this out and that right now isnt the time to hear me whine.

#rainecloud020604 vents #vent post #vent #tw: abuse #tw: eating problems #tw: ed mention #tw: suicide mention #tw: guilt tripping #tw: neglect #tw: panic attack #tw: self harm mention #ask to tag

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swampgallows · 4 years

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...

like man i specifically remember what our “funding” was, it went to a fucking air-compression weights room, like it used concentrations of air instead of physical weights, and the whole school got to use it, so that was good. and we got a giant fucking mural on the side of our gym for no fucking reason. but the ‘gifted kids’ and the homeschool took a lot of the same classes together, used the same resources and materials, still had bungalow ‘classrooms’ with no a/c where it got up to 105 F in the summer and we had wildfires every year, still rode the school buses together. the only difference was that for two out of the six periods a day i had to take graduate thesis-level courses and was assigned way more work that i ever got in college.

for my gifted classes we had to buy our own books, and this was the pre-amazon era so that meant i had to go to a store to physically buy a copy, unless someone from the previous class donated theirs. this was generally not the case considering we took so many notes in our books that they were practically illegible; for instance my own copy of hamlet from senior year of high school looks like a journal from se7en. i dont think i could even read my own handwriting now.

my art history teacher also taught a university course and gave us the exact same curriculum, minus a handful of pieces. so tenth graders were getting the same course material as university graduates working on their master’s. our test would just be a couple of sheets of paper with black and white print-outs of the pieces on them, and we were required to explain everything about the piece: artist, title, date, medium, cultural impact. i remember in comparing the kritios and kouros figures we had to know at least 15 differences between them, one of which was the notch in the collarbone.

our written tests compiled the semester’s information between the four gifted courses (2 per quarter) and were essay questions. like the art history test, there were multiple questions, so you had to prepare outlines for each. whichever question you got the day of the test was random.

here was one of the questions for the midterm in ninth grade. this was a copy of the question to study a week beforehand which is why i doodled all over it.

Colonization in South Africa took a different form than in the rest of Africa, in particular because large numbers of Europeans settled and stayed. Begin your essay with the history of how the Dutch and British colonized South Africa. Next, discuss the purpose of apartheid and the nature of violent and non-violent resistance to it, including Steve Biko’s ideas, Amandla, and Nelson Mandela. Then cover the role of the Trials of Truth and Reconciliation. Conclude your essay with a reflection on how your views have changed as a result of our study of Africa.

we had two hours. the majority of the class—handwritten, of course—wrote anywhere in the realm of 8-16 pages. again, this was ninth grade. I couldn’t begin to answer this question now, let alone write 12 pages on it.

meanwhile, i was still taking standard courses for science, math, p.e., and so on. in fact, i had to re-take geometry because i was being raped every day by an adult student in the class, and nobody noticed until my grades started falling. you know, because i was miss smart gifted student, and so everyone assumed that as long as my grades were good that i wasnt struggling.

by 11th grade my nightmares had gotten so bad that i was sleeping in class and having daytime walking hallucinations. that’s when i saw shadow people the most, and the shadow people i saw scared me so bad that i, cyclically, got even less sleep. so i hallucinated more, and so on, struggling to stay awake in class. once i fell asleep in class and i went up to the teacher afterward, so guilt-ridden that i apologized and hoped she’d be able to help me catch up on notes (since i didnt have any friends in my gifted classes; they were all in the homeschool).she looked me in the eye and said “I don’t give a shit.” i had never had a teacher so point-blank speak to me that way before. i was sheltered, sure. teachers say worse shit all the time. didnt change the fact that i kept having persistent nightmares and fucked up sleep patterns well into my 20s, and lasting even til today. i’m still terrified to go to bed at night, even though i dont get the nightmares as often anymore. i had first started getting nightmares after the first time i was raped when i was 12, but they got so exponentially worse in 11th grade.

i mean, yeah. kids who ate in the cafeteria didnt get spoiled milk or moldy bread, and most of our bathrooms were clean and stayed clean, and we didnt have asbestos in our ceilings. so yeah, there was privilege there, and i dont deny that. but that’s why i also think it’s a stupid fucking argument to say that people cant lament their stolen childhoods to a bunch of rigorous academic bullshit that ultimately amounted to nothing, didn’t make us employable, didn’t make our teachers care about us more, utterly annihilated any of our leisure time and quashed our hobbies (had a teacher pull a sheet i was doodling on from me and rip it up announcing THIS ISNT ART CLASS but i digress), and resulted in overwhelmingly asynchronous development from our peers. me being told i was ‘so smart’ and ‘so mature’ made me a target for groomers and pedophiles, me having zero time or accessibility to hang with real life friends planted me online and had all my social interaction come from socially-exiled freaks on world of warcraft and deviantart and 4chan, having hours upon hours of homework and studying every night and every summer break gave me little to no leisure time or even time to do something like get a job afterschool or over the summer to build real-world experience. yes i am grateful i didnt have to be the breadwinner of my family at 16 years old; yes i am still traumatized by the amount of stress and busywork and isolation that has left me still estranged from my peers and in arrested development even at age 30.

no career or job prospects, sitting on a worthless degree with a pitiful gpa. but hey at least my high school has a mural or whatever

#blathering

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