#that it forever altered me as a person like im being shot at

[cemeterything]

kinda wish i didn't have PTSD but then i wouldn't be able to joke that it means Potential To Suck Dick so you win some you lose some

[therapy-ghost]

I had to ask my dad cause I keep forgetting it.😭😭 He said it was Asperger’s but a news article said it’s an offensive term so I don’t know what it’s called and neither does he. (I finished asking but I googled what the new term was, and it’s Asd I think. Google didn’t explain it well😫)

But the request is Reader is dating Freddy Freeman, but like is low-key obsessed with his alter ego, Captain Everything. It’s all they talk about when Freddy mentions heroes. So with the help of Billy, he has Reader meet his alter ego. (Reader doesn’t know they the same person, if it’s not clear) Just a lot of fluff cause I love Freddy so muchhhjjjjjh

Hello again! I was wondering when you were going to be back and what type of writing you wanted and this is not what i was expecting(in the best way possible)!!! Warnings; meantion Autism(Im sorry if ive depicted it wrong in anywayT-T), swearing, im hoping no OOC, longer then usual one shot... and tell me if theres anymore warnings to add!.

GN!Reader x Freddy Freeman

From a young age; your parents, teachers and class mates saw you as strange; always bringing up that one topic that yuo would always bring up whenever you could, and sometimes it was fun, but eventually those peole started to not want to talk to you.

When you reached middle school; You had found yourself a community online that would rant about the very topic you had grown fixed on, Superheroes, thats all they would talk about.

It was your save place where you can place yourself in your own world and rant forever on who's a better hero; Superman or Batman? Obviously Batman!

but in the end you still found yourself lonely in the sea of online friends, cause well... they were online, and sometimes you would be stuck in the real world where you couldnt talk to them.

But that was untill you meet Freddy Freeman; a crutch wielding superhero maniac who instandly caught your attention(And maybe even your heart) in sciences.

And Freddy was not gonna lie when saying that you did the same.

The two of you started to hang out; most of the time with the company of Billy who always felt like he was third wheeling even if he was in a whole other building.

Eventually you two had asked each other out on the very same date and proceeded to believe you had a psychic connection; Match made in heaven to be more accurate.

And right now; after 3 months of you to being officially a thing, were laying on the floor of him and Billy's shared room ranting about hero's, like you always did.

"-Come on! he's dark, mysterious, most likely rich, and has a most of gotham and maybe even the whole world fearing him; you cant say that superman in better then Batman when every villain and civilian knows what his weakness is but doesnt even know where the heck batman is majority of the time" You argued with Freddy, who laughed at your statement and nodded a bit.

"Ok you have a point; but Superman in the man of steel, and whats batman? A depressed man in an emo cosplay that scares people by being a furry-" Freddy's statement made you gasp and hit him on the arm.

"How Dare You!" You playfully yelled; Freddy laughed at this.

"Fine; next is... Shazam or Captain Everypower?" Freddy asked, sounding a bit more excited aout this one then the others.

"Oh come on, am I a fucking joke to you; Captain Everypower all the way!" You cheered abit, sitting up, which Freddy followed along with doing.

"A-And why is that?" He asked in a nervous manner, which you didnt notice, all you did was stand up and get really excited.

"He's funny, he's powerful, he's decent on the officiency level, he's quick with his job, he puts people before himself; and like, you Shazam does the same thing but whats sets them apart is that Captain Everypower is just so much better looking" you made a fainting motion at the end of your rant.

Freddy's excitment in your statement went unnoticed by you once again as he nervously figgeted in place.

"-And it would be so cool to meet him! I bet it feel like a dream to be around him! And to touch his skin; Ive always wondered what bullet proff skin feels like!" You fanned over captain everything "Wouldnt it?" You sat back up and got really close to Freddy, who was panicking on what to say.

"O-Oh you, he's a r-really cool guy; met him a few times, great guy-"

"Does This Mean You Know Him!" You squealed in excitement.

"Y-Yeah, we're practically best friends" Freddy lied, bullets of sweat rolled down his face as he tried to to stumble over his words to much.

"Why didnt you tell me?" You asked Freddy.

"Because h-he wanted it to be a secret; and I was like why, and he was like cause its for your safety" Freedy shakely explained.

"But Why now?" You kepted asking questions to get the answers you needed.

"um....Be-because... He has agreed t-to meet...you" He lied through his teeth, only digging his own grave of regrets more.

You froze, shocked as to what he was say but to stunned to see through his semi-lies.

Um.. are you-"

"Oh My Gosh! Freddy! Thank You! You Are So Cool!" You cheered, jumping at him to get a big hug.

"n-no problem"

"When do I get to meet him? where? what time?" you asked frantically.

"Uhhh... tomorrow, after school, the convenience store down the street; O-of course if h-he's free that is" Freddy shakely answered; making you stand back up and cheer in glee.

"Oh I cant wait: I need to head home but I will see you tomorrow!" And with that you rushed out of the house.

"Wow, that was something" Billy walked over and leaned on the door frame, watching as Freddy panicked.

"What the fuck have I gotten myself into.... Can you help me?"

"Nope" Billy said

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day you basically floated down the hall you were so happy; and it was very clear to both Billy and Freddy as to how excited you were.

"How did you get me in this plan again?" Billy asked.

"Cause you care for me and I care for the fact that Captain Everypower has a super fan that is hot" Freddy whisper yelled to Billy, who sighed.

"Fine: so the plan is that distract superfan while you get out of school and ready for the little rendez-vous?" Billy asked, making Freddy nodded as the bell rang for the last class of the day.

They nodded to each other and walked off.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bell hadnt even rang and you were running out of class, to excited to meet Captain Everypower.

You rushed down the hall and to the front door, but before you could get off school grounds, Billy Baston appeared infront of you.

"Hey... um...." Billy hadnt though of a distraction.

"Oh Hi Billy" You Happily said"Whats up?"

"Um...whats got you so smiley?" He asked as he watched behind you as Freddy walked off school grounds as quickly as possible.

"Im going off to meet Captain Everypower" You said with pride, making Billy fake a surprised expression.

“Wow, thats really cool-“ Billy nodded.

“Yeah! well, i have to get going! Bye!” you cheered as you almost bolted off.

“W-wait! Um, Freddy wanted me to tell you that he is unable to make it to the meet up you are having” Billy covered up, panicking a bit more at you excitement.

“Oh, why?”

‘Shit!’ Billy mentally cursed.

“Well, um, he’s-“

“He’s helping me with a projected in art” Darla came butting in the save the day, leaving Billy in relief.

“Oh well, tell him ill see him later; Bye you too” You then ran off; leaving Billy to really let out a sigh of relief and walk home with Darla.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You waited patiently by the convenience store, waiting the arrival of Captain Everypower in his bright blue super-suit and curly hair that reminded you of Freddy’s in a way.

You were almost jumping down the street at how exhilarated you are for this encounter with the hero and types of questions you would attack the hero with; where did he get his powers? What’s the suit made of? What’s it like to fly? What its-

Your thoughts were interrupted by wind crashing down behind you, you turned yourself to see a very frantic looking Captain everypower.

He looked around a few times before spotting you, then straight into himself out.

“Evening citizen” He said, putting his hands on his hips as he broaden his shoulders.

You were gonna faint at how cool this was.

“I heard from my very good friend, Freddy Freeman, that you, my friend, are a fan of me” He confidently walked over, but not with out stumbling a bit; which concerned you.

“Are you ok? You look tired; Do you need to site down?” You frantically asked.

"O-oh yeah, just was off saving the day and s-stuff before coming here" He waved you off, but his responce excited you.

"What type of 'saving the day'?" You asked, almost jumping at him in curiousity of the question.

"Well, some man tried to steal a womans bag and i stopped it, sent him to jail" He proundly said, making you fan over his actions.

"You are so cool!" You yelled out.

These conversations went on for the next 20 minutes; talking about cool superhero stuff and the best ways to take out villains.

But sadly he had to go, and so did you.

So he bid his good bye and flew off, leaving you as a stuttering mess of excitment and the fact that you believed that it was all a dream.

You made your way to Victor and Rosa's place in a dreamed dazed at meeting captain everything, skipping and humming to yourself with a big smile playing on your lips.

You knocked on the door and Victor answered.

"Hi, Freddy's just up stairs if you need him" He stepped out of the way as you nodded, making you way up the stairs of the home and into Billy and Freddy's shared room.

Freddy was laying on his bed, looking tired as he mumbeled to himself about something when you walked in.

YOu threw yourself down beside him, which obviously made him jump.

You hugged his waist tightly; "Thank you thank you thank you so much" You said, kissing his cheek as he becomes very embarrsed.

"N-no problem... I bet he enjoyed his time with you very much" Freddy said, pulling you close as Darla and Billy watched from the door way.

---------------------------------------------------

Thank you so much for the request and your patience, I really hope you all enjoyed it.

If their is any request you want the fit onto my request list then pleasse dont fear to send it in.

[codecicle]

whats your problem dude why are you so weird :3

im love posting now to fuck with you.

you thought this was gonna be a sneak attack but it isn't dumbass‼️ everyone point and laugh

i love you man and I mean that I love staying up texting you and altering my whole entire sleep schedule to fit yours i love getting random shit sent to me during the day and seeing your texts or asks in my notifs i love seeing your music taste and everything that comes with it i love hearing about your day and making inside jokes and bits between us that permanently change my vocabulary (ZIPPEE ^_^ sillay :3 and that dreaded Keyboard) I love being the only person who can understand what you've typed because you can't spell for shit but I also love being able to tell when you've gotten used to the keyboard your using because difficult words aren't misspelt like they normally are I love calling you in vc until your phone shuts off and playing baby sensory subway surfers videos with slimecicle gifs so you and your friends pay attention to my "very important" (no it's NOT LMAOOOO) tetris/papa's freezeria/minecraft gameplay that I always have screensharing in the background of the call. I love our shitty little minecraft world and our suicide hole (and stripper pole that Kai doesnt know about please keep it that way or we will never hear the end of it) and your inability to stay alive and our little back to back like a movie fighting and I love that one time I watched a mlp movie (which I have to do again. Btw) for you because you watched Be More Chill for me and we both ending up loving them both and I love our matching phone stickers we have that are torn to shreads and dirty as hell now but they USED to read "#1 ashton swagaythor fan" + "BOYF" with mine matching to read "#1 felix elliot 'is' fruity fan" + "REINDS" and I love how you use all of my pronouns even the unconventional ones (IT/ITS MY FAVORITE FOREVER AND EVERRR MAN) ((not really)) and how you explained how to use certain neopronouns to me without judging me at all and your little d20 rolls in the mornings to decide on what pronouns you're going to use for the day (today was he/they/she btw ^_^) and I love all of your dnd characters and/or ocs that you've shown me and explained the lore of (the dnd one that uses he/she is my favorite btw. the others are neat and all but he's my favorite by a long shot the others can't even touch her dude) and i love your amazing sense of fashion and outfit checks you'll send that just get better each time you do and I love your hair and your glasses (even though I felt VERY betrayed to find out they weren't circular irl how could you slash sillay) and every little detail on how you look and act and im so serious. i love your love of gillion titstrider and seeing you talk about jrwi AND HOW YOU STILLL HAVENT CAUGHT UP YET BUT THATS FINE SMH SMH and seeing you ramble about the play you're currently doing in our texts rn dear god those are lyrics and i love them

anyway point is i love you so much and i hope you have a wonderful rest of your night after reading this o/

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

halfway point only friends character rankings

(i am bad at rank so i tiered them, also i don't dislike any character this is more a scale of how many hours i lay awake thinking of them)

tier one: ray

ray: I think anyone looking at my only friends posts can immediately guess who my favourite character is and why. ray is THE character for me, i knew in the first episode before the title sequence that he'd make me extremely unwell (his "being known as a burden who is either professing his love for anyone who cares to listen or begging people not to leave him in his drunken desperation" captivated me ok) . besides relating to parts of his characters and story, i am thoroughly invested in this man and his emotions. like will he fall victim to the cycle he's already convinced he's doomed by? will he find a way out? will he continue living as self-fulfilling prophecy purely out of spite for himself and everyone around him? will he get better? can he get better? will he ever want to????????? i think i always had the potential like ray as a character but i also think the actor plays him in a way that has altered my brain forever (like i am not good at reading faces but the look on ray's face sometime feels like im looking into his thoughts, its thrilling) deciding to play ray as layered and complex and oosing with pain no matter the circumstance was a choice that made the character for me, and i also think it takes a lot of skill to have an asshole insult everyone close to him and ruin relationships he has no buissness ruining for most of his screentime and have the audience come away with "wow that guy is absoultey dripping in pain, i feel so much for him"

tier two: nick, boston, mew

nick: i love nick so much, maybe its my thing for pathetic little guys but something about him makes me scream throw shit whenever i see him. i'm obssessed with all the crime he commits, because he's such a cutie about it. like watching him get all sad listening to the topboston tape fully sympathizing with him and his little sad face to the point i forget he only has the tape cause he WIRETAPPED BOSTONS CAR. just excellant character, i hope his crimes being revealed leads to him looking more pathetic and then becoming 5x more evil but 10x more cute about it (i also am desperate to know what comes of him chasing after a man who has made it clear so many times he doesn't want him only for nick to fall harder like what is up with that)

boston: boston has always been a favourite character of mine because he may not be a good friend and he may not be a good person but one thing he will NEVER not be is entertaining. like if he is on screen your ass will be tuned IN, and for that reason i love him. what i want to see from boston in the rest of the series? i think he is an interesting case of how far is to far when it comes to friends doing you dirty, and im interested to see what the lasting impact to his relationships are and then the impact to how he views relationships in general. i think it'd be nice if there were consequences that made him reavaluate the way he treats other people, but i also find it absolutely necessary for him to retain his sluttiness. like it doesnt hurt anyone else, and i think he genuienly enjoys it, so i hope he keeps it along with his love for photogrphy (would love to see him get more into getting consent of people before he records them and spreads that around tho) stay messy my king 🫡

mew: mew was my designated little guy after watching the first episode but kinda got lost in all my love for sandray. i will say he shot back up towards the top after seeing this one post (i cannot find it now its lost under the thousands that have been posted since) about mew, control, and bdsm (and all the new meta that has come out since too tbh). also realizing around epsiode 4 we knew absoultey nothing about him as a person had me watching everything he did like there would be little clues left. i think its safe to say after episode 6 that the relationhip between sex and control will continue to be interesting as well as WHATEVER THE FUCK HAPPENS TO MAKE HIM ACT UP LIKE THAT IN THE BATHTUB anyway... i am here for his villain?? era

tier 3: top, sand, cheum

(again i tiered them cause im not good at straight ranking and this doesn't mean i like them any less its just they make me personally a little less insane then the others do)

top: i think he needs to be topped by mew and that it has the potential fix him, i've thought about this a lot (A LOT) and thats all i have to say.

sand: i am still kinda obsessed with him, like don't get me wrong. i like the way he mirrors the other characters while still maintaining traits that are specific to him. the fact that he has his heart broken by the belief that ray didn't truly care about him and only saw him as a distraction, distinced himself from ray, took insults and physical attacks from ray, and STILL chased after him because he knew ray was in an unsafe headspace speaks to how strong this guy is, cause you saw everyone else in that bar abondon ray to whatever self-destructive thing he decided to do next but not sand, never sand. anyway maybe its because i relate to ray so much that whenever i see sand on screen or think about him my mind gets overtaken by hearteyes (this is my way of saying i don't have many coherent thoughts about sand in my brain theres just 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰) anyway i can't wait to see how he develops, if we meet the sandtop mutual ex and what chaos that brings, and whatever the fuck happens with the sandray codependency dynamic and i am dying to know if he does indeed have something in his past related to driving under the influence and what it is about ray specifically that made mr "i can seperate love and sex" into the character we see now

cheum: my girl isn't in the show as often but whenever shes on screen with april i have to smile. anyway i wonder if we'll get an explaination as to why shes always presurring the rest of the friendgroup into monogamous relationships or if thats just who she is (i do think her lying to april about how she feels in order to keep them together at all costs was an interesting detail in all this, like is she scared of what it means to be single/alone, does she feel intense pressure to be in a certain type of relationship, etc)

anways this is inspired by @thatgirl4815 and my autocorrect broke so sorry if this makes now sense

[stormyoceans]

Mon mon mon your top 5 vice versa quotes/ top 5 visually pleasing vv scenes

ISMAY THESE ARE SUCH INTERESTING QUESTIONS BUT I HOPE YOU KNOW THEY MADE ME GO THROUGH AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS ESPECIALLY THE SECOND ONE (hence the really late reply SORRY!!!!!!!) SO HERE GOES NOTHING I GUESS

TOP 5 VICE VERSA QUOTES

1. “even though there’s only a little pink, jigsaw completed his drawing with other colors, just like our story. we might focus less on our love one day, but i’ll still understand you, care for you, and want the best for you.” “are you trying to say that one day we’ll love each other less?” “that’s not what i mean. im saying, even if one day you have to devote yourself to what’s really important to your life, rather than spend your time thinking about me, i’ll understand and give you my full support.” – puen in our skyy episode 2 [just for this dialogue alone i had to accept the fact that i will never love a pairing this completely in my life ever again literally no one compares to puentalay]

2. “and he paints my life pink forever.” – talay in episode 12 [QUITE POSSIBLY THEE MOST LINE OF ALL TIME]

3. “if this can be used to wipe away dust, i should use it with your heart. i think your heart hasn’t been used in a long time.” – puen in episode 3 [LIFE ALTERING TRANSCENDENTAL MOMENT IN HERSTORY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS SIMPLY HIGH ROMANCE TO ME]

4. “we all have our own pain that we are enduring. you can’t compare your life to theirs and judge them on what they should do.” – kita in episode 9 [KITA THE UNSUNG HERO OF THIS SHOW I LOVE HIM SO MUCH]

5. “whoever puen is seeing is his personal business. im his fan, not the master of his life.” – gyo in episode 12 [print this line, project it on a wall, make a powerpoint out of it, tape it everywhere, put it in a billboard, spread it]

TOP 5 VISUALLY PLEASING VICE VERSA SCENES

(i ended up going with a mix of colors and framing and cinematography to pick these and IM STILL NOT FULLY CONVINCED)

1. the bucket hat reveal in episode 10. not only this is one of the most scenes in television history (second only to puentalay reuniting in episode 11), but it also takes the crown as the most visually stunning. the pink/red contrasting the black/blue is simply beautiful.

2. the glasshouse kiss in episode 4. I SWEAR IM NOT JUST FINDING EXCUSES TO KEEP POSTING THIS SCENE IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF IT'S PERFECT IN EVERY SINGLE WAY. one may ask, 'why didn't you pick one of the two other glasshouse scenes then', to which i say ONCE AGAIN NOT MY FAULT IF THE OTHER SCENES DON'T HAVE PUENTALAY DRESSED IN CONTRASTING COLORS AND PUEN HALF HIDDEN BY THE GREENERY BEING SLOWLY REVEALED.

3. talay drowning in episode 1. I KINDA FEEL BAD PICKING THIS SCENE SINCE IT’S TALAY DYING BUT. look at how pretty it is. when i see all these gorgeous shades of blue (with a hint of pink in some shots!!!!) i can understand talay saying “let me appreciate these beautiful colors a little longer.”

4. the secret island in episode 10. at first i didn’t want to put the same episode twice, however i just can’t leave out this scene if we’re talking about visual elements. color wise it may not be as remarkable as other moments (although the touch of green against the neutral tones of the sand and the sky and the water is [chef’s kiss]), but the cinematography here is honestly breathtaking.

5. friend credits reuniting in episode 6. this is a shorter scene compared to the others but i absolutely love the way they were able to highlight the yellow in such a clever way, not only with the lights but also with the sparklers and the curtains against the black and the white/light blue.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 2

And here’s the next part of the long answer set of the day!

When will OL: N&F take place? Beginnings and Always took place during summer breaks, will now and forever take place during a fall break or will the characters be going to school at the time of the events we play through? 

It takes place over all of the fall season, so school will be happening in OL2. Some events do take place in school, though many times events only start after school is already out for the day, haha.

Hey!! I have kind of a weird question?? I’m sorry if it’s been answered before and I just haven’t seen it but is OL 2 taking place during the same years as OL 1? I’m just curious, thank you for such amazing games!!! 

It’s a similar time frame, but not 100% exactly same.

Do you have any idea when the demo for now and forever will be available? 

Hopefully this fall! But that’s not a guarantee.

Okay the crime show in Step 2: Growing up. Long blonde hair, police station, crime series? Was it The Closer? Because I’m the same age as MC and Cove and my mom was constantly watching that when I was 13. 😂 

Haha, yeah! The Closer and, to a lesser degree, Medium were the kind of shows I was referencing there. My mom also used to watch those back in the day.

Hey um this might be an odd question but if the setting of OL: N&F is  fall/autumn, what country or city will it take because my mind tells me it is either Poland or Canada. Also I can't wait for the game I am hyped 

It’s set in the USA again. We’d like to be able to have cameos and that’s easiest to do if the OL games take place in the same country.

Is it possible for the PC of OL to have non-seriously dated other people in the in between years even if they’ve had a consistent crush on Cove? 

You can causally date Baxter in Step 3 if you get his DLC and then ultimately choose Cove in Step 4. If you mean off-screen people, it doesn’t really come up, but you can certainly headcanon that. The game never says Cove is the only partner you’ve ever had.

Is there going to be a Kickstarter for Now and Forever as well? For like voiced names and stuff again? Didn’t find B&A until after it was released and I’d really love the opportunity to hear my name in the game 🥺 

Yeah, we are gonna have a Kickstarter with getting a voiced name as a reward! Though, it will be more expensive than it was for OL1. I feel bad to raise the price but we realized too late the first time around that it was being super undersold for the amount of work it took, aha.

Do you know how much the remaining DLC for OL will cost? (Step 4, Derek, Baxter) 

Step 4: Free

Wedding DLC: $2.99USD

Derek DLC: $4.99USD

 Baxter DLC: $4.99USD

Has an artist for the new position been picked yet?! I'm super excited for the new game! 

We did fill that spot. Thank you so much for taking the time to apply!

hmmm what would it take to get each of the XOXO jerk squad to feel the need to hug you? 

They’d have to first like you a fair amount, otherwise the most you’d get is maybe a pat on the shoulder. If they were attached, they might hug you if you broke down crying or if you gave them super good news.

Unless it’s Shiloh, of course. If you want a hug you only have to ask!

May i ask how the Derek DLC will work? I believe that there aren’t any memories in step 4 and doesnt derek’s dlc take place during that step? So will the dlc add memories? Thank you! 

Derek’s DLC will add five Moments to Step 2 (a new page will appear on that screen if you get the DLC). Then in Step 4 you’ll have to choose between playing the default epilogue or going through the Derek romance story.

Is the pc version on itch,io different from the steam version? Like an offline one or something? 

Steam has achievements, but that’s about it. Both can be played offline, if you prefer.

I've been wondering this for awhile, what determines if cove winds up with a ponytail in step 3? I've done multiple runs with different MCs with varying hairstyles. Or does it have to do with a particular moment in step 2? 

I’m afraid I can’t say exact choices that determine things. But generally it’s preference based options in the Step before that decide those things.

Any Floret Bond updates? 

No, the artist had to leave the project and it’s been on-hold. I’m not sure if I want to try working just with what we have or replacing it all entirely. The design is a bit too specific for us to easily find someone who could mimic it. Hopefully we’ll work things out later, though.

In step 3 is Cove's plan always to stay in sunset bird? 

Yeah. He is never ready at 18-years-old to make a big life change.

I love your content! If it's alright to ask, you answered in a previous ask about how Jeremy was too particular with what he likes his types to be romanceable with just any MC and it's sort of got me wondering.. What /are/ his types and/or preferences and such? Sorry if it's a lot! 

Jeremy likes stubborn jerks and will not date someone who’s sweet or even generally a decent person, haha.

uh, excuse me if you said this somewhere before, but how will step 4 be actually? Will it he like an actual step and have moments and dlc and all? Or will it be more like a long epilogue of some sort?

Will the step 4, the wedding and extra routes dlcs be paid too? Im just confused, sorry if im asking too much

Step 4 is only an epilogue, so it’s just a long series of scenes one after the other rather than a collection of Moments you can choose from.

The Step 4 epilogue is free, the wedding DLC, Derek DLC, and Baxter DLC cost money.

i’m not sure how much of the wedding dlc you have planned already, or if this would be to spoilery, but what kind of wedding traditions will be included? i keep thinking about how flustered cove would get over a garter toss & was wondering if we’d see a scene like that haha. obviously no worries if it’s not included, i’ll enjoy literally anything cove related 

I don’t know for sure yet, haha. Right now we’re focused on the parts before the big day. We’ll see how many scene alterations we can include for the wedding itself later on.

Hello! Firstly, thank you for creating such an amazing game like OL, and I couldn’t be more excited for OL2! Out of curiosity, are you looking for any writers to come on for OL2 or are you all pretty much set in that department? Just thought I’d shoot my shot haha but I’m still excited regardless ^^! 

We will be hiring writers for OL2 later this year! Thank you for the interest.

Will we be blessed with a spin-off Yandere Cove, like XOXO Blood Droplets? 

Sadly, no. It’s a shame but there’s not enough time to keep making OL1 bonus/spin-off content.

How is Q pronounced?

I’m afraid Q’s full name hasn’t been publicly announced yet so I can’t answer here (Q and T are the first letters of the names for the new LIs in Our Life: Now & Forever).

Question; is the steam version getting a Mac update?  I purchased the dlc there thinking it had Mac support without realizing it and just wondered if I’d need to refund it to purchase on itch.io 😭 

I’m really sorry, you will need to get a refund from Steam. We do hope to have it there for Steam eventually, but have no idea of when it’ll happen. Apple requires special notarization to be an officially accepted app for their devices. We don’t have that. Steam requires having that, Itch will let you release it as an non-notarized third party app. That’s why Itch is the only place that has the Mac version right now.

would you mind posting outfit sheets for Cove in every step? it would make things a lot easier for us artists. it would save a lot of time spent looking for references 

I think we did do the earlier steps when they were finished way back in 2019 (this game took a long time to make, aha), but we can probably repost them sometime!

In our life n&f, will we be able to get into qprs/will there be more options in regards to having deep platonic relationships with the love interests? Because as an aroace individual, it would be great if there could also be emphasis on platonic love so that it's more aspec inclusive. 

It’s a little hard to say at this point. There may not be things like a wedding DLC for OL2 and so the relationship for platonic and romantic feelings might not go as far as it did in the first game. We’ll kind of have to see how much we can do based on timeframe/budget constraints that will only be set near the end of the year. But we will be keeping things like that in mind at least.

hi! i really really like your game and im absolutely in love with it! i cant wait to try your other games like xoxo droplet and future OL NF :))

during the step 3 erands moment i got curious, which fudge flavor is his favorite? it seems like he likes all of them, but which 4 do you think he would like best?

also i noticed that in some playthroughs cove would let me give him a piggy back ride, and in some he wouldn't, how come?

how does your choices affect cove's interests or looks? i replayed the game without changing any choices but i got cove to look different, is it just random?

thank you!

Cove’s favorite flavors are ones with nuts and that are fruity! But he appreciates them all. Whether or not you can give him a piggyback ride depends on if your MC is fit/large enough to hold a muscular 6-foot-tall beach boy, haha.

Cove’s appearance does depend on choices and it’s generally tied to choices that are preference based rather than emotion/action based, such as which key chain you pick in Step 1.

Is it possible for cove to reject MC's proposal at the end of step 3? 

Nope. He’ll always accept.

hi! i was wondering how heavily the side characters will be featured in the our life wedding dlc? obviously it'll be cove & mc focused, but i was thinking it'd be sweet if we could take lizzie dress / suit shopping or dance with cliff at the wedding or something. 

The side characters are there about as often as they are in normal events. So, it’s clearly focused on Cove but he’s not the only person you have any meaningful moments with.

When will responses be sent out to applicants? 

I’m afraid we don’t send responses out to all applications, only ones we’re interested in offering the position to. Not everyone likes rejection emails and the amount of applications is too high to contact them all to say we’re not hiring them. We post updates on the job page when a position has news. Right now we’ve filled every role that was open.

Is there also going to be the option to keep your relationships with the love interests platonic in Our Life: Now and Forever? That's something I really appreciate in Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Yeah! OL will never force you to end up in a romantic relationship with someone.

I was wondering, in the Step 3 Happiness moment, what are the different fishes Cove can compare MC to? I got "you'd be a paradise fish, because being with you is paradise," but my friend got "you'd be an angelfish." Are there more variations? 

He says paradise fish if you’re a couple, angelfish if he’s just crushing, and then a royal dottyback/queenfish/emperor tetra (based on your gender) if he likes the MC platonicly.

Hello! So, in one of the Step 3 DLCs, Cove's arm was gone. I think it was to show him putting his arm behind his back. But if that wasn't the case, did it get yeeted? 

Thanks for letting us know. That was an error we tried to fix a little while back. When did you make the save file you were playing? If it was older that might be why it happened. Or maybe the error wasn’t fully fixed after all.

Asking for your opinion, but do you think Cove would at all be into ABBA? Because all I could imagine during the car trip in step 3 was him and the MC belting to Mamma Mia. 

Haha, yeah, there’d definitely be some ABBA songs he was into.

So throughout the game, Cove can develop different interests depending on the player’s choices; does this mean that he can have different careers in Step 4? Or his is line of work in adulthood never mentioned at all? 

He can have different career paths in Step 4!

Hi!! I'm so so sorry if this has been asked before but I just acquired knowledge about the so famous nsfw dlc for OL and nearly chocked on my bubblegum 💀💀💀 So, my real inquiry is if that specific moment will have any kind of impact at some point of the fourth step OR if it will just be treated as a side-story-ish “what if” scenario.Also, is there any chance there'll be something similar for Step 4? Haha jk,,, unless 😳Questions apart let me thank you profoundly for making the best visual novel I've ever played 😭 Really really looking forward the epilogue and OL2 💕 Have a nice day 

It’s just a bonus side story that’s fully separate from the main game.

It would be nice to have one for Step 4 too, but I sadly don’t see us having time to actually do it. I don’t know, if people are still asking for more OL1 content several months from now it might be doable and worth doing.

I'd just like to ask, when is Baxter's birthday :0 -- I'm really curious esp with their zodiac signs so ;w; 

I don’t know, haha. Maybe I’ll come up with one someday.

Please help!! I bought the Step 3 DLC but I still have no idea how to get to where you can propose to Cove - any tips? 

&

How do I get the option to propose to Cove at the end of the game?

You can click HERE for a discussion on that.

I love that Miranda and Terry are getting together! I'm curious if you have canon sexualities for them? Also just wanted to say how much I love OL and how much joy it brings me everytime I play it <3 

Terry likes ladies and Miranda likes dudes!

ngl Step 4 Terry's design reads like y'all see trans guys as their assigned gender more than you see them as men to me (a trans guy)... like maybe if he isn't heavily dysphoric, I could see it, but everything you've said about him doesn't line up with that. Even then, immediate warning bells go off in my head looking at him. I wouldn't have touched the game if I saw him ahead of time.

I’m sorry you aren’t comfortable with the way the design looks. The situation with Terry is that he’s now open about who he is, but the body he was born with is still physically the same. He only came out recently as an adult and hasn’t gone through any treatments/procedures yet (his chest is flatter because he wears a binder). However, even though his body hasn’t transitioned at the point Step 4 happens, no one treats him as anything other than the guy he is. Having a trans character who’s identity is supported/respected from the start is what we’re going for in this case. But what we’re doing with Terry isn’t the only trans content we’ve ever had/ever will have in the future.

how would baxter react to bae pyoun and vice versa? and can you please detailly explain both love interests personalities from our life 2: now and forever? i was just curious, sorry for dumb question!! 

I imagine it’d be pretty opposite experiences, haha. Bae would initially think Baxter is pushy and thoughtless, but would quickly realize, oh, he’s instead a soft, considerate boy. Very cute. Baxter would first be struck with the impression that Bae is charming and gentlemanly, but then would realize that, no, he’s a sarcastic asshole. And I’m afraid we can’t reveal the personalities for the next game yet.

Sorry if you've already answered this, but I have a question about the patreon exclusive moment you're working on. I was wondering if it's mainly going to be CGs or if it's mostly character sprites + backgrounds with some CGs.

Either way, thank you for doing the Lord's work and not only making Cove, but making this bonus moment as well 😌😌😌

It’s mostly sprites/backgrounds with two CGs!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for the interesting questions everyone :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[cptsd-kitsune]

Why “people with DID are violent and dangerous” is harmful rhetoric

I was kicked out of college for having DID. Not expelled, but I was threatened to have the cops called on me whenever I experienced dissociation. And I regret ever confiding my condition to the disability center on campus. The dean ordered all my professors to phone them if I ever experienced dissociation and they wouldnt elaborate to me what that criteria was fully, but gave me examples such as not recognizing names. My professors didnt know they were going to call the cops, they just knew I’d be taken down to the counseling office. Then whatever poor alter got stuck fronting was confused and scared to death that these people were taking us into a room and threatening to call law enforcement, which I explained to them was a trigger. I also explained it put an easy suicide by cop situation before me. I also explained some alters are children and they may fight back because they dont know any better. I also explained being tazed would retraumatize me bc electric shocks were part of my past trauma. I also explained dissociating isnt inherently dangerous. But they got away with it all by claiming me dissociating put myself and others at risk of harm. One time it almost happened but my professor walked me down personally and Im forever grateful she did bc when she realized they were going to call the cops she said “Um that seems very unreasonable and dangerous for her dont you think?” and they couldnt be persuaded, but she argued with them to at least let her watch over me so I could call a friend to pick me up (I didn’t have a car and took the bus to class). Oh and I only had 30 minutes for anyone within radius to come get me. And yeah that wasnt even an option before it was call the cops and get fucked they never mentioned letting me just go home. So this woman took time off work, got her assistant to help with class, and watched over me for 20 minutes before my friend got me. So anyways. Depicting people with DID as violent and perpetuating that bullshit actually becomes a reality for us when people with incorrect perceptions of us act on these ideas. And we could have been shot, traumatized, switched to a suicidal alter, anything, so many things could have happened that day. Im lucky none of that came to pass. But I had to quit college because of this kind of intimidation. So stop treating us like monsters. These ideas have real life effects on real life people. The people that did this to us are the real monsters.

[currentfandomkick]

Bio! Dad Strange Part 5

Some paris update again with more Rogue shenanigans. Heads up, this is more a ‘i decided everyone can be complex and get along somewhat so im altering character dynamics from cannon to my prefrence’

When Marinette and Max and Nino ended up in Chloe’s class the trio made a simple pack on sight—aviod her at all costs.

Why?

Max is fairly certain Marinette is some type of meta. Fairly. She’s still the only person on his level close to his age, so he isnt saying anything.

Nino doesnt share this suspicion, but she’s close with Sabrina, who’s dad keeps checking in on him and Marinette’s family way more than the other stidents at Dupont. Nino doesnt like this, and by proxy, Chloe is horrible.

Marinette thinks Chloe and Sabrina could out her and aviods them to prevent this.

Their teacher sees this and decides to ignore the mandate to keep Max and Marinette And Chloe and Sabrina as science partners in every situation by switching things up.

Max hates working with Chloe—she keeps foddling and talking about fashion when its chemistry class. Focus on the lesson you heathen

Marinette works well with Sabrina (both organized) but she is extremely uncomfortabke with this as Raincomprix starts asking her for help on cases out in the open. Woth science and she has to fake not knowing about them. He takes forever to catch on that her mom doesnt know, and would be pissed if she knew.

Raincomprix then uses his daughter as an inbetween for his and marinette’s joint ‘solve the coldcase’ game. Sabrina gets involved to practice english and science, and finds out she’s good at finding overlooked clues.

As you can guess, this leads to Sabrina and Chloe joining the group.

Marinette and chloe talk fashion sometimes, Chloe critics her color pallettes and stitches. Also her choice to use rogues as inspiration becuase “arent they bad guys?”

“Eh? I think theyre just bad at getting the help they need.”

“Didnt joker kill people?”

“That was mostly mr. J. Easy mistake.”

“...okay...”

This curbs a decent amount of Chloe’s bullyign early on. Chloe is not borderline meta in this, just fixated on fashion to an insane degree—she knows everything about all aspects of the industry but cant design from scratch. Her mom looks down on her for this.

Chloe is also how the group know of ‘adrikins’ who is her prince and will marry her someday or be her forever family, uncertain which.

Alix gets along well with chloe as she needs someone to be salty with when Kim is being an idiot and Marinette is too nice and it goes over Max’s head and Nino is... there is some doubt if he’s scared of Kim or just really respects him.

Sabrina and Max cannot be left alone under any circumstances though. They will try to outsmart each other. Sabrina via legal things, Max via facts and trivia. Marinette is used as their buffer, much to her frustration as she does have designing to do guys!

Kim is showing signs of a crush. Marinette has not noticed as has a secret identity to keep, rogue family to manage from another country, other people’s secret identites to keep (she blames Tim.) so many languages to learn and practice and to top it off, friends to keep from killing each other during school. She has a lot on her plate, ok?

So that summer was more rogue sheneigans and dodging heroes while being herself and forcing her Father to cook with her—mostly Great Uncle Wang’s recipes.

“I am being bossed around by a child. In my own kitchen.”

“You were the one that claimed me as yours. I demand compensation in bonding time.”

“Uh, Mr. Smith was it? My neice suggested a aimple soup seeing as you are a... novice.”

This lead to an oddity for the Science Rogues—Mr. Freeze, Scarecrow, Strange and Riddler—getting into cooking wars. Only the RKC knew how and Not one of them would spill, only looking at Marinette who was smiling as she said “my great uncle did that!”

This also left the four with less plotting to destroy gotham time. It worked out for the most part.

If she got bored (and she does) she visits Ivy and helps out in the greenhouse or her the wayne’s gardens. Rose now has her own plants sprawling about gotham (marinette dropped fast grow seeds) so she can escape the Greenhouse and move about Gotham without mama bear Ivy trying to take over the city while looking for her teen-appearing child.

Frost was busy with college and so was Ghoul, so she hung out more with Puzzles due to proximity. Puzzles got it in his head to prank Hero Stalker and Batman. Marinette tried to talk him out of it, she did.

It failed. And somehow it was a night with Batgirl and Nightwing/old Robin trying to help Batman with his grief over the last robin who died. The new robin had yet to be revealed, but she noticed hero stalker was more motivated lately. She knew she couldnt stop him—he’s a year older than her and probably rich. (And she’s not supposed to exist...)

So Puzzles pretends to be Riddler and lures them into an old tv set. They were not expecting it to be a hideout for a gang.

And if Marinette was in an old Harley Quinn outfit with a hammer her size to match, well... disguise?

Harley realized what was happening when she checked the groupchat and no one knew where they pair was until Rose was pestered for a bit to have her plants check.

They went into a drug den and the batfam was with them. Fuck.

Puzzles and her get out of there when the realize what’s up. Why? Guns and not being invulnerable.

Marinette is worried though and hides and may hit one of the armed men hard enough to fly across the room.

Puzzles stares at her. She flies to tackle him and grumbles about sunlight messing with her meds again.

Nightwing caught that, realizes who knock off harley is, and guns for the kids. Only there are more goons now and—shit. Where did the kids go?

Batfam took down the gang.

Harley is seen in her car a few blocks away with... are those kids? It trends on social media that Harley has a daughter who’s grounded for messing amwith gangs.

The Council meets to scold Marinette and try to get the story straight.

Dent snorts when he finds out they were just going to silly string the batfam and slime them on camera. The camera was busted in the fight though...

Hero stalker freaks out about the whole thing and tells the pair off. “You almost died!”

“He said my dad was dumb! It was a matter of honor!”

Hero stalker is Done with Puzzles and tries to talk sense into Marinette, who says its her job to keep him from dying, ok?

Hero Stalker/Tim is upset but kind of gets it from watching Batman. Sometimes your partner does dumb things and you have to keep them safe y going along with the dumb thing.

Riddler puts them in a puzzle maze for a week. Marinette figures it out and goes in and out of it to make it look like she’s still trapped.

Strange rolls his eyes as yes, this is his daughter. Yes, she is smarter than Riddler.

Ed Nygma the other hand is keeping Puzzles grounded for another week. He lets Marinette visit to check up on his and Riddler’s states since they share a body and all.

Harley is still lecturing Marinette and gets her to agree shell at least tell Rose when something is up from then on.

Rose puts a plant on marinette. I am not joking, she puts a vine on marinette’s arm to keep her safe and make her take her meds since “you cant fly otherwise nets. And put in your earplugs!”

At somepoint there may be a case of music master making an appearance, but idk if it should be marinette is immune due to earplugs or marinette gets dragged into being seen by the league AND rogues at once and they bith try to grab a very freaked out Marinette who flies back to france where Max is mid-panic since she needs someone to talk to and uh, she figures he knows most of it so, help. She needs logic and hers is shot at the moment.

Next time we get more of a quick fic on marinette’s training with Zsasz as a kid.

[sunlightwoo]

You Are The Reason

in which Josh thanks you for being the reason that he is who he is today.

a/n: this lowkey hurt to write but i am whipped happy with how this came out :))) i think this is also my longest one shot that I have ever written on here. 

update: wow 2,235 words im proud of myself-

Reason #1

He wasn’t sure why his heart had been beating so loudly in his chest. You were only cuddling with him like you always had as the both of you had your movie days together, but this time it felt different. It was weird when Joshua suddenly asked you to have a movie night on a Tuesday, rather than your usual Fridays, but who were you to deny it when he offered to buy dinner before you both returned back to his house?

Your head was already on his chest, both of your breathing were in sync as the movie in front of you continued playing on the television. After some time, he looked down to see your eyes already closed, resting on top of him softly as your lips were slightly pouted, but he knew that if he didn’t do what he wanted to do today, then he wouldn’t get another opportunity like it again.

“Y/N?” He softly whispers to your sleepy figure and you hum in response, looking up at him with one eye sleepily opened as he took a deep breath in, ready to spill everything to you from then on, but he couldn’t because of how cute you had looked in his eyes. 

Before he could even confess to you, he felt you lean up just slightly so that your lips were pressed against his softly and he immediately reciprocated the kiss as a small smile played on your lips. It was making his head spin as he started to think about whether you had done so because you were sleepy, or because you had the same feelings that he had in his chest, but you had already spoken up before he could say anything. 

“You had that look in your face when you looked back at me, so I did what neither of us had the balls to do.” You teased giggling a bit lying your head back down onto his chest as he had hugged you closer to his chest, knowing that from then, it was going to be a long journey with you beside him.

But at least he was happy that the confession process wasn’t hard, because you were his best friend that had liked him back, and became his significant other the next day when you both woke up. 

Reason #2

It was in the blur that happened as he watched you take small sips from your cup of coffee in front of the window, watching the little kids in your neighborhood play with one another in the snow. A small smile that was spread on your face was able to be seen from where he was standing, making a smile spread on the corners of his lips as well as he watched you. 

The sight of your fondness for the little children on your block made him feel warm, despite the coldness that you were both feeling this winter. He puts down his pre-made coffee that you made for him before he woke up onto a coaster on the coffee table and quietly walked over to where you were, moving over to embrace you for even more warmth. 

“Whatcha thinking about, in that pretty head of yours?” He teases, his lips coming close to the shell of your earlobe as his arms were slowly wrapping around your waist as he could feel your giggles resonating against him. 

“Good morning to you too,” You smiled while looking over to where he had already been staring at you with a happy smile on his lips before you started teasing him, “Affectionate today, aren’t we?”

“What? I can’t show my girlfriend love anymore? Guess I have to make an ad now, the requirements are having to give good cuddles and be able to make funny raps with me.” He playfully retorts and watches as you moved a it to turn towards him with your eyebrows raised. 

“You lose anyways, Joshua, so there’s no use of finding one. Besides, I was just watching the kids on our block play in the snow.” You snickered and looked back outside to see that they were all having a snowball fight with one another. 

“Do you think we can have kids that are like that one day?” He randomly blurts out and your eyes widened at his words in shock, before he could even process that he actually said it out loud from his thoughts, “Unless-”

“You actually think of us having a future one day, Hong?” You teased while poking his cheek and he smiles softly nodding as he continued on with his thoughts. 

“Yeah, I mean it would have to be in the future when we get married, you know? Like maybe one day we could move out of this small apartment and get a bigger house, have maybe 2 kids and live a happy life. But in the future.” He says blushing a bit that he had already thought it all out as you nodding, not being able to hide the smile on your face at how cute he was being.

“Maybe one day...” You whispered while turning away from him to hide the deep blush that was appearing on your cheeks, but it was no use as he had already started tickling your sides after putting down your cup of coffee. 

He had already known that it was you that he wanted forever with.

Reason #3

This was one of the many days that Joshua would ever be anxious in his life, that is if you say yes to him today. He had planned to propose to you at the playground that you both had met as kids, where he had told you earlier in the day that he wanted to go out with you on a picnic after you were finished working today. 

Agreeing to meet up with him at the park, he had already spent the entire afternoon putting things in place with the help of his other members, making sure that every single detail was absolutely perfect. He wanted it that way because he thought that a perfect person like you should have the perfect proposal. 

The only minor problem was that you had gotten earlier than expected and caught them in the middle of doing it all. Letting out a small sound of his name, he instantly turns around to look at you surprised as you looked at him in shock, not knowing what to say as you read the big words in the tree that were made up of little fairy lights that he had gotten Mingyu to hang up. 

“Y/N, what are you doing here? I thought you were coming by later?” He looks at you in confusion and you shrugged before looking back up between the tree and him simultaneously. 

“I got out early...” You trailed off before walking over towards where he was so that he could hear you clearly, “You planned on proposing today?” 

He wanted to say no, but since he knew that you had already caught him in the process, he could only nod his head in response while taking out the small velvet box that he had in his jacket pocket. A small gasp escapes your lips as you looked at the small ring that was encased in it and locked eyes with him as tears had pricked your eyes already. 

“You already know I’m going to say yes, because I love you, you dork.” You said smiling a bit as you pushed him slightly to the side and a laugh resonated from him while he was already sliding the ring onto your finger as he kissed your knuckles softly. 

“I know, that’s why I saved the speech and instead wanted to ask if you wanted to have another rap battle with me while eating the food Mingyu packed for us.” He smiles softly as you nodded in agreement and placed a small kiss on his lips as he was able to hear the members that were behind him cheering him on. 

“Yes I do, as long as they don’t eat our food.” 

Reason #4

He was nervous throughout the entire day, yet he somehow managed to find excitement in the adrenaline in his veins as well. Today was the day that he was finally marrying you, his best friend, his rock, his entity. Words couldn’t describe how much he had already wanted to marry you, even after the endless months of planning all of what was going to happen in a few moments from then. 

However, by the time that you were already walking down the aisle towards where he was at the alter, he could already feel tears pricking the ends of his eyes as he realized that you were both finally getting married. Even with conjoined hands, he couldn’t help but thank God and fate for allowing him to be lucky enough to marry you, in which he did as you both went on with your vows. 

But before then before you both could, the officiant had asked if there was anybody in the audience that had objected to your marriage, but it was only as a joke as Jeonghan had sprung up from his spot. However, Joshua laughed as you both had come to agreements to adopt a puppy together as a mediator while he thought that you and Jeonghan would be funny co-owners to a small puppy in the future. 

That was until it came time to actually say one another’s vows, in which he had began first since you mentioned that you would cry if you said them first.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me in this world, Y/N. Thank you for always being with me, whether its between our schedules, or when we have a fight that needs to have communication between us, thank you for never leaving when I was at my lowest. I promise to always continue loving and cherishing you with every single bone in my body, and promise to make sure that whatever may happen in the future, its us that will endure it all. You are my best friend, my partner in crime, my rap battle opponent,” He says laughing a bit through his teary eyes while choking back the last few words of his vows, “But most importantly, you are my soulmate. Thank you for being the reason I am who I am today, and for showing me what it is like to love someone unconditionally. I am in love with you, Y/N Y/L, and I can’t believe that I get to be the honor of being your husband.” 

It wasn’t like the entire audience had been silent because of the fact that it was a ceremony, but mainly because of his heartfelt words that also had you tearing up because he was your soulmate, like you were to him. 

But all he was able to see was you, the light of his life and his now wife that he can finally show off to the world. 

Reason #5

The empty feeling beside him felt foreign as he was blinded by the sunlight that was shining in from your windows. Joshua was confused as to why you had already left the bed without your usual tickle fights or kisses in the morning, but what made him even more suspicious was how quiet the house was, especially at 12 in the afternoon while calling out for your name.

“Y/N?” 

However, his thoughts were immediately answered by the time that he had stopped calling your name as his daughter had suddenly bursted into the room with poppers that had streamers out of them. She instantly ran over to where he had still sitting up and tackled him into a tight embrace, just as he had already started blowing raspberries onto her stomach, her giggles loudly echoing throughout the room. 

“Happy birthday, Daddy!” She cheers, still laughing at his ticklish actions, and kisses his cheek once he had stopped while climbing onto his lap. 

“Thank you, sweetheart, where’s Mommy?” He smiles kissing her head and just right on cue, you had walked in with a cake and a large smile on your face. 

“Surprise- wait, didn’t I tell you to cover his eyes, Jieun?” You laughed softly, watching your daughter already finding solace in her father’s lap while walking over to sit on your bed with the both of them as she shrugs softly. 

“No...” 

Shaking your head softly at your three your old daughter, you looked at your husband with a happy expression and turned on the electronic candle while pecking his lips. A small ‘ew’ was heard from Jieun as you both laughed at her silliness before he had looked between the both of you guys while looking down at his cake. 

“Happy birthday, Joshua. We love you.” You smiled and watched as he pretended to blow out the candle while moving the cake in order to engulf the both of you into a large embrace.

He places a lingering kiss on both of your foreheads and he felt as though he had everything he could ever ask for in the world, while a small sniffle was able to be heard from him.  

“Thank you to my beautiful angels, for being the reason that I am happy for the rest of my life.” 

[spiderman-homecomeme]

Cute fluffy prompt: mj acts like she’s not impressed with the whole Spider-Man thing so peter keeps making excuses to show off his powers/strength in front of her

Okay this prompt is so freaking cute and im so sorry this took me forever, but here it is!! I hope you like it!!

Get ready for 1.5k of some good ol’ fashioned fluff

Peter shouldn’t be all that surprised that upon finding out his secret identity as the vigilante known as Spider-Man, Michelle reacts in perhaps the most Michelle-way possible.

She’s indifferent.

Not entirely impressed.

Maybe even a bit annoyed?

Now, it wasn’t as if he’d expected her to just… fawn over him, to sing his praises in her overt adoration of his deeds. He knew it wasn’t like that; MJ wasn’t like that. But… she could’ve at least faked some enthusiasm. A simple, “Wow! That’s cool!” would’ve been much appreciated.

She could have at least tried to reach Ned’s enthusiasm.

Because Peter has literal, actual superpowers for crying out loud.

He can climb walls.

He fights crime.

But nope.

Nothing.

Just the quirk of an eyebrow accompanied by a comically apathetic, “Yeah. And?”

Because of course she already knew.

The double take he’d done at her response may or may not have given him a minor case of whiplash. He’d sputtered, face turning an embarrassing shade of beet red as he scrambled to form coherent, human sentences—something that had become somewhat of a theme in his conversations with MJ.

It’s not as if he needs his ego stroked; honestly, that is the least of his priorities. But… he has this crazy, overwhelming desire for MJ’s seal of approval; hell, just a nod, a smile, or even a thumbs up would do. Some acknowledgement, at least.

He, for some inexplicable reason, wants so badly to just impress her.

And he finds himself caring a lot more about whether or not she’s impressed the more and more he tries.

She doesn’t care when he shows her his lightning fast reflexes; he’s lost count of how many times he’s asked her to throw something at him so he can show off that particular skill.

“Hey, MJ, toss me the remote?”

“Hey, MJ, pass me that can of sprite!”

“Hey, MJ, literally just throw my calc book at me.”

(He also wonders if he should be worried that she’s always willing to chuck something at his face every time he asks, without hesitation.)

She couldn’t care less when he hangs from the ceiling by a single thread—okay, it’s maybe more than that, but still—when they’re studying in her room one day, his face scrunched in concentration as he reads Great Expectations from his position.

He can feel her eyes on him, stare calculating as she watches him with a mix of judgement and confusion. An expression that wordlessly asks, “What the absolute fuck are you doing?”

“What?” As innocent as he can act in a situation like this, Peter shrugs, feigning ignorance. “It’s more comfortable.”

She scoffs.

She’s even more unimpressed, maybe even borderline annoyed, when he shows off just how agile he is by literally backflipping onto the couch during a movie night with her and Ned like he’s some kind of Olympic gymnast.

Peter’s smile is triumphant as he lands, feeling pretty damn good about himself, eyes not-so-subtly glancing over to MJ, trying to gauge her reaction.

“Was that necessary?” she asks, tilting her head in miffed bewilderment.

Okay, maybe she had a point.

Even Ned, who was arguably Spider-Man’s number one fan, seems to think the overt display of gymnastics is a bit much.

And that’s saying something.

Peter’s strength doesn’t really do much for her either, or at least he’s pretty sure it doesn’t. He can lift around ten tons,—but who’s counting, really?— stop a bus with his bare hands. He’s stopped the Winter Soldier’s actual metal arm before.

Come on, even the person with the highest standards in the world would think that was at least a little bit cool.

There may have been a hint of a smile, a faint sense of admiration and approval when he lifts up the school lockers with incredible ease, snatching the spare jar of web fluid, making sure to twirl it a couple of times for good measure.

“Wow,” she says, almost breathlessly, with a hint of… What is that?… Wonder? Reverence?

“Way to damage school property, Spidey.”

And like that, he deflates.

He brings out the big guns when he offers her a ride—or, a swing, if you will—when she’s running late to her after school job at one of the local bookstores. She agrees, but only after nearly rolling her eyes out of her head.

To this day, he can still feel the way the butterflies had nearly erupted in his stomach as she’d wrapped her arms around his neck, her body pressed against his as he’d gripped her waist, holding her steady; the way her breath had hitched in her throat as he leapt into the air, the way she’d buried her face in the crook of his neck, the ghost-like touch of her lips less than an inch from his jaw.

He can also still hear the way she’d screamed bloody murder right in his ear the entire swing.

He was pretty sure she might have puked all over him and his suit if it had lasted even a second longer.

Needless to say, Michelle was not impressed.

Not in the slightest.

Really, at this point, Peter begins to think that there was truly no way to please her.

And, slowly but surely, he gets to where he can kind of, sort of accept it.

He’s pretty sure he’ll never get over this whole desire to impress her, but for the time being, maybe he can chill a bit with the showing off.

After all, she’d said it better than he could have.

“Okay, now you’re just embarrassing yourself.”

He nods in silent, albeit a little sheepish, agreement, hands on his hips as he turns his gaze to the ground.

He’d just made one more, one more valiant effort in his quest to get MJ to admit that this whole Spider-Man thing was cool.

Actually offering to take her on patrol with him may have been a mistake.

This sunny Saturday afternoon must have been the day all the criminals in New York decided to take a day off.

And, yeah, it may not have been a good idea in hindsight, with the danger and all that. But give him a break, they were already hanging out… They just happened to change location and he just happened to be wearing his suit.

No big deal.

Plus, he would have never let anything happen to her.

And even with all of that, she’d laughed, actually laughed, and declined, returning to her book as she sat on the park bench.

He knows it’s a fruitless effort, but damn it, he had to give it one last shot.

They’re interrupted when they hear the nearby wailing cry for help of a little girl, and in an instant, Peter’s gone.

As it turns out, the girl’s in no danger at all, but rather, her white kitten—whose name turns out to be Buttons—having got himself caught pretty high up in a tree.

Peter’s heartstrings tug at the way the little girl’s cries fill the air around him. He takes a moment to comfort her, telling her that everything—that Buttons is going to be okay; that he’ll be down before she knows it.

The girl sniffles, wiping at her eyes as she watches Spider-Man climb the tree—slowly, as not to startle the already skittish animal.

It takes minimal effort on his part, getting the frightened kitten down from the tree, but he still treats this as any other deed done as his heroic alter-ego; he handles the small bundle of fluffy white fur carefully as he returns to the ground.

And once again, he’s filled with the same warm, happy feeling he gets when he’s helped someone as the girl hugs the small cat in her arms, her smile practically glowing.

“Thank you, Spider-Man!”

He returns to MJ a moment later, who’s been watching the entire time.

Her face is impassive as he stands in front of her, book forgotten in her lap as she fixes him with a contemplative stare.

He already knows what she’s going to say, how she’s going to react. He’s not set up for disappointment that way.

He can practically hear the words already before she even speaks.

“Nice job, loser.”

Wait. Not those words—

What?

His head snaps up, the white eyes of his suit widening comically as he stares back at her, dumbfounded. “What did you say?”

At that, her lips press together into a thin, very very cute, smile. From what he could tell, there hadn’t been any hint of sarcasm in her tone. Her gaze now makes him feel comfortably uncomfortably warm under all the red and blue spandex.

Okay, he’s probably dreaming.

“I said,” she pauses. “Nice job, loser.”

“Oh,” is all he can muster at first, his voice a little breathless. He coughs, scratching the back of his head, trying to play it cool. “Thanks.”

She nods before quietly returning to her book. “Anytime, dude.”

He’d done it. He’d finally done it. All these days, these weeks, all this time.

And damn it, Peter can’t help but do his best golf fist bump when he’s sure MJ can’t see him, exclaiming a whispered, “yes!” under his breath.

“Please, don’t make me take it back,” she says without even glancing up from her page.

“Ah! Okay, sorry, sorry.”

[ourinnergalaxy-blog]

Landmark Day 1 - Documentation

Well first things first, I guess it’s not a cult after all. Lol It is def a self-help, self-altering experience. They present the forum as a “conversation”. A lot of the time, you are asked to share your experiences with people; maybe not the whole group of 90 people, but at least with the person sitting next to you.

I started out my day being asked what I want to get out of Landmark. And I said I wanted to have a better understanding of myself because it would give me a better foundation moving forward in my life. (also, the guy I was sitting next to at that point and had to speak to had the MOST GORGEOUS HAZEL EYES AND HOLY SHIT IM SO FUCKING GAY I GOT SO LOST IN THOSE EYES. hashtag blessed) As we went on, the question came up again and I was asked to tell three people instead of just one. And without me really realizing it, I began to open up about being transgender and the way that affects my life and the way I’m living it. (At this point, I got to hear the story of a guy who made my eyes light up like Christmas lights when he casually spoke of his fiancé and how HE went to Landmark. I FOUND THE GAY. HES SO COOL AND FUN AND CUTE AND I DEF WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND FOREVER. I’d probs be trying to date him if he wasn’t already in a relationship, no lie. Ahem, anyway, it was good to find the fellow LGBTQ person in the room.)

After lunch time, I guess that’s when it clicked... they don’t really tell you what areas you need to work in on a specific level as much as they tell you that the places where you feel like you have no power, freedom, or self expression are areas where you aren’t living your life as authentically as you could be. And I found I was focusing on the fact that I felt a loss of self expression around the topic of my gender. They told us that we work things up in our head to be this big thing and we mix up our idea of what happened with the actual factual events that took place. (now, in some areas I can see this not really applying as nicely, say in the face of abuse. Like, yeah maybe your idea of what happened is different than the actual happening, but that still has lasting effects that aren’t something that’ll just be better by being more aware that we’re seeing things in a different way than they truly are.) But on the topic of being trans and not correcting people on my name and pronouns out of fear and spite, it fit pretty neatly.

People stood up in front of the group and shared their stories. Willingly, mind you. And soon I found I wanted to be one of them. And I actually did. I actually got up and I shared my story. I told a group of strangers (who could have all been transphobes for all I know) that I am a trans guy and I’m not living my life the way I should be because I haven’t been honest about who I am. I told them that my not being honest has caused my interactions with the people I love to feel false and disconnected because I was allowing them to use the wrong name and wrong words for me. I was trembling the whole time. From the moment I stood up and went to that mic, in front of all those people... my body would not stop shaking. People had shared stories of loss, and unfulfillment, potential divorce, etc... and here I was complaining about not being seen as a boy. And these people! These people who had shared their tales of misery all looked at me with concern evident on their faces. They looked worried. Shocked. Saddened. I hated it. I hated that feeling that I was being pitied. I didn’t want to be pitied. I wanted to... I don’t know what I wanted! I don’t know what I expected! It made my eyes hot with tears I could only barely hold back. It made me shake more and more. I stopped looking at them eventually. I couldn’t look at them. The forum leader told me to create a new possibility for myself and my life. What could I do now, now that I’ve opened myself up to all this stuff. And my answer was the same as many answers: being open and honest. With myself and with others. And soon enough, I was free to return to my seat and the shaking stopped soon after. We moved on and spoke to the next gentleman.

Afterwards, people sought me out. They introduced themselves as they shook my hand and told me how brave I was, or how inspiring I was, or how well I did. I got pats on the back, hugs, fist bumps, a supportive hand on the shoulder. I just... I mean, I didn’t do it to be an inspiration. I didn’t because I felt I needed to, in a way. I needed to practice being open and honest in front of these strangers before I could be that with my family. Like, literally there was a woman who shared her experience having three miscarriages. And people were telling me I was brave? THAT WOMAN HERSELF CAME TO ME AND SAID I WAS BRAVE! I couldn’t believe my ears. It didn’t feel brave when my body wouldn’t stop trembling. It didn’t feel brave as I was slowly walked through to the answers I had to find for myself (though, sometimes I feel like they try to lead you to results that aren’t necessarily true for you personally at times, and I had to kind of stress to the forum leader that there wasn’t another “and...?”) It didn’t feel brave to spill my baggage on a bunch of strangers and then refuse to meet their gazes. But here these people were, moved so much that they had to seek me out in he crowd to tell me. Heck, I even have a lunch scheduled with an older woman tomorrow because she said she wanted to have time to sit with me and talk! Also... the forum leader told me I needed to make a call to my parents to address this.

I did, mostly because I knew I’d only give myself room to talk myself out of it if I didn’t. I called my dad. Told him I’m his son (it still feels weird to say). He didn’t freak out or get upset. He was actually open and receptive, and told me we’d have to discuss this more so everyone could be on the same page as far as how to address me moving forward. He told me he still loves me, and that I’ll always be have an important role in the family as the first born.

I talked to my mom in person afterwards. Since the conversation didn’t have as much of a time limit since the day was done, i got to be more thorough. About what my plans are for my self and my body. That I still like guys so I’m basically going from being a straight girl to being a gay guy (well, in their eyes; also this doesn’t address my attraction to some women and non-binary people, but I’m trying to keep things LGBTQ 101 for my folks right now). I told her I want to be seen as her son and be called he and him, rather than she/her. She was also receptive and open, though she has a difficult time letting go of “Well how do you know?” and the “Why?”. But I calmly explained that it doesn’t matter why, and that it feels wrong to be called a girl vs feeling right being called a guy.

I didn’t go into how I feel like non-binary guy is a more accurate way of looking at it, but again, that’s advanced LGBTQ material and not something I want to split hairs with when I know it’ll only make this transition harder on us all.

But idk... I’m in bed now, and I just wanted to get this all down before I go back tomorrow and have way too much on my mind to get it all down. They gave us a lot of buzz words: transformation, possibility, the “Story we Tell ourselves vs “What Actually Happened”, “Already/Always Listening, and Rackets. A bunch of stuff that sounds like junk when you hear it. And maybe it is junk. Idk. But I guess it makes sense... Obviously I’m not really digging into the total thing as to what these all mean in context but that’s mostly cuz I’m tired and I have to get up early. But they say today was the hardest part and tomorrow we get to take more control of the conversation and that the dots should start connecting. So, I’m not dreading it like I was dreading coming this morning. I’m not excited (other than to see my brand new gay friend who is an absolute PEACH AND ID FIGHT ANYONE FOR HIM IF I HAD TO) but I’m not fearful.

I feel like I’m still in charge of certain areas of my life; areas I feel need to be worked through in long term therapy, rather than mental boot camp. But I feel I’m willing to make this transformation in my general social, financial, and career areas of my life. I don’t feel brainwashed yet, so that’s good. I still question things, and I’m not about to just go forgive my father for the shot he put me through (especially since I don’t even think he realizes how much he fucked me up). But I’m open to seeing brand new possibilities in other important areas.

Woo hoo, I guess. This probably makes little sense to anyone who’s never taken the Landmark course. But this is for me mostly. Lol Well this whole blog is, really.

[blazerina]

All Too Soon - A Christmas Fic (Drake x MC)

Author’s Note: This is Part 1 of a 4 part Christmas story about Drake, MC & Liam - and their never ending love triangle.  This is somewhat a continuation of a story I wrote a while ago titled “You Do Too.” Search for the tag “blazerina babbles” to find it. My links aren’t working and I just wanna post this thing because it is a beast and has taken FOREVER to finish.  I’ll leave it at that.  

Summary: As Charlie settles in to her role as the future queen with the scandal now behind her, she reflects on Christmas Eve about her time with Drake and if she made the right decision to walk away from him.

Rating: PG

Part 1 of 4.

--

“Thank you again for such a lovely evening.  Merry Christmas, King Liam. Lady Charlotte.” An older, silver haired woman, dressed in a shimmering navy blue gown with a white fur coat draped upon her frail frame, gave her goodbyes to the King and soon-to-be queen.

“So glad you enjoyed it, Duchess Montielle.” Liam bowed his head slightly, smiling.  

Charlotte knew that was her cue. This was King Liam. That smile wasn’t the real one; it was the obedient, responsible, anything-for-Cordonia smile. He was tired and she knew it. The past few months had been nothing less than a whirlwind of stress and pressure, ending in hurt, loss and anger. Once the scandal had been put to rest, it wasn’t as easy as any of them had hoped.

This holiday season was meant to be one of rest and peace, but duty called. Tonight was only the beginning of a series of ceremonies, galas, charity balls, presentations, promotions, speeches and the like. Everyone wanted to see the King and this was the perfect time of year for all of Cordonia to be reassured that their leader had put the scandal far behind him and was moving forward towards the bright future of his country.

Charlotte knew going into the night of the coronation that Liam loved her and wanted to propose to her, but having spent more time with him in light of the scandal, watching him fiercely protect her, seeing him go to battle with his own family and so-called “friends” he had known all his life, just for her…well that made her realize even more, how deeply his love ran for her. She found it hard to believe that he could be so devoted to someone he didn’t know all that well, but it was true. He was genuine about it and he’d stop at nothing to make sure she was happy.  No one had ever treated Charlotte that way, or made her feel as special as Liam did.  He was wholly devoted to her and for the life of her, she’d never truly understand why.

He had gone through so much for her. She told herself that because of all he’d done, he deserved to be happy. She would be forever in his debt.  She had grown to see and love him in new and different ways since they became rightfully engaged. He would soon be her husband and she was hopeful that while the outside perception of him and her and their relationship together would always be altered, they each could hold onto the truth of who they were alone, with each other, behind closed doors.  She loved the Liam that no one else knew…but which Charlotte did Liam love? The real one?  Or the one he thought he knew? She would always question which version of herself she showed to him, mostly because she knew there was a part she’d always have to keep hidden.

Charlie swallowed hard, taking a deep breath, forcing herself to be present and focus on her current surroundings. She was going to be a queen soon and it was time for her to start acting like one.

“It was wonderful to have you join us, so very glad you could be here to celebrate the season.” Charlotte followed up; nodding and doing her best to give a warm goodbye to a woman she had never laid eyes on before this moment.

Liam nodded gratefully at her, turning his head to stifle a quick yawn.  

The royal couple stood at the door of an old church in the historic town square of Cordonia’s capital. Only moments before, Christmas Eve services had concluded and the pair was giving their season’s greetings to each member of the court and the city, who had come to join them for the celebration.

It had been a somber, but beautiful event – it quickly rose to the top of Charlotte’s list as one of her favorite experiences thus far, since joining the court and learning of Cordonia’s existence.

The old church was covered in candlelight. Bright colors were reflected in the stain glass windows that lined each side of the sanctuary.  The soft glow of pale yellow lights on a wreath and some trees near the front of the church, only heightened the feeling of taking part in something holy, something sacred.

The wooden floors creaked with each step taken, and the echoes of voices ringing off of the cobbled stone walls sent shivers down her spine.  Charlotte wondered how many ceremonies just like this one, this building had seen…and quickly realized this was the very place where she would be walking down the aisle in a matter of months.

During the service, as the guests sang the last verse of Silent Night in unison, Charlotte had been moved to tears, but kept her composure in the front row. She stood next to Liam, a stoic pillar of strength and support, everything she had been taught to portray over the last year of her life.  He was holding a candle in his right hand, with his left hand balled into a loose fist by his side.  She was holding her candle in her left hand while her other hand nervously and absentmindedly played with the seam along the side of her dress.  It was a nervous habit she had picked up to keep her hand busy in case Liam wanted to hold it.  The habit had developed back in the days when she and Drake were…well…none of that mattered anymore. Hiding from Liam had proved to be too much for them both.

As she predicted, Liam swiftly brushed his hand against hers while they continued the song, and she forced a quick smile while she gave him a sideways glance. She rested her hand within his, their fingers intertwined and took a deep breath.  This was her life now. She had accepted it.

She felt so guilty. Before the events of the past year, she never knew it was possible to feel so much pressure; so much confusion. She never knew it was possible to feel such shame…never knew it was possible to love two people at once.  

But she did know now that it was impossible to give her whole heart to anyone when she didn’t love herself. And she knew that both of the men she loved so much deserved someone who could give them everything.

While it broke her heart to move on and slowly shut Drake out of her life, she had been more easily able to give herself to Liam…but she knew it would never be completely. As much as she wanted to give him her entire heart, she knew a small fraction of it would always be reserved for Drake. They had been through and experienced too much together for it to be any other way.  

She would always remember the night it began to unravel. He muttered words about pretending and called her a hypocrite. He finally cracked and admitted he couldn’t continue a relationship with her knowing how much it would hurt Liam.

She had responded with words about him fighting for her. She spewed out poisonous phrases about not wanting her enough, using her to distract him while he got over the disappearance of his sister.

 --

“You wanted us to turn out this way, you know.  You made this happen because you couldn’t handle being wrong about me. You couldn’t deal with the fact that maybe I wouldn’t let them change me. Maybe I can be the Charlie you know and still be a part of this court and friends with these people.  Have you ever thought of that?! Maybe I’m strong enough to do this, Drake.  I’ve shattered every thought you’ve ever had about who these people are and what they ‘do’ to others…the problem is…you can’t stand it!”

 “If you think they haven’t changed you, then you’re delusional.” Drake said, calmly, through gritted teeth.  

 “You are NOT the same person I met in New York that night.”

 “You’re right, Drake.  I’m not…”

--

Charlotte was brought out of her reverie by Olivia of all people.  

“Charlotte.  Charlie! Earth to Charlie…” Olivia was impatiently snapping her fingers in front of Charlotte’s face.  

“Yes, yes. I see you. I hear you. Everyone on this block hears you…” She responded, rolling her eyes and greeting her friend with a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m one of the last ones.  Care for a drink? We have a few hours left until Christmas Day and then you’re booked solid again.” The redhead said, with a wink.

Charlotte exchanged glances with Liam who was now speaking with a group of three or four ambassadors who were spending their holiday break in Cordonia, hoping to invest in some commercial goods and set up a fair-trade agreement on behalf of their country.  

Charlotte had spent the past few days with some of them and knew Liam hoped to seal the deal with them soon. It would be perfect timing, as the press would pick it up instantly; with it being the holidays not much was really grabbing headlines these days.

Liam smiled and nodded, giving his approval for Charlotte to go on with Olivia.

“Well, I don’t have all day. Are you coming or not?” She huffed, impatient.

“I think I should wait on Liam.” Charlotte lied.  

“We haven’t had a lot of time together and it is Christmas Eve…” She trailed off, gazing through one of the large windows in the church, out into the street where a few people were walking, looking up into the night sky, watching as snow continued to fall.

“Your loss.” Olivia shot back. “Also…I noticed the forest green ensemble tonight.” Her eyes surveyed Charlotte’s attire while she scanned her from head to toe.

“Well, do you approve?” Charlie asked, honestly.

“Yes. You’re smokin’ hot and you’ve got balls the size of the UK to be wearing that color. First you steal red from me and now you’re stealing green from Madeleine?”

“Oh my God, Olivia. Keep your voice down.” Charlotte immediately hushed her, while trying not to laugh.  

“You had red and she had green. Those ARE the Christmas colors. I was bound to piss somebody off tonight and I’d rather it be her!”

Olivia cackled while putting on her gloves.  “Wise choice. I’ll see you soon – ta ta darling and Merry Christmas!”

She waved over her shoulder as she traipsed out of the church flamboyantly.  

Charlotte chuckled to herself while she began to collect her things. The only people left in the church at this point were her, Liam and the ambassador group.

As Charlotte put on her coat, Liam approached her.  “You’re not going with Olivia?” He asked, concerned.

“Not tonight.  I didn’t feel like it.” She sighed, adjusting the collar of her coat up around her neck. “Are you finishing up?”

It was Liam’s turn to sigh. “Unfortunately, no.  They want to check out the pub down the street because it looks ‘quaint.’” He made air quotes with his fingers while he hung his head dramatically.  “If they don’t agree to this deal after all I’ve done for them this week…”

“I know.” Charlotte smiled, ruefully and patted his shoulder.  “I’m tired, so I think I’ll head over to the parsonage. It should be perfectly cozy by now. I asked them to have a fire going when we returned.”

“I wish I could join you.” Liam held Charlotte’s hand and brought it to his lips, looking at her as he brushed a kiss across the knuckles of her hand.

She blushed slightly, and looked away.

“Don’t be too late, Liam.” Charlie responded, clutching her purse.  

“Ready to go?” A member of the group beckoned from the doorway.  

“Be right there!” Liam answered. “I’ll see you soon, my darling.” He kissed her cheek and grabbed his coat from the pew, then walked briskly out the door with the group and his security detail in tow.

Charlotte’s personal guard, Stefan, waited patiently for her at the doors of the church.  She turned to face the platform again, staring up at the beautiful decorations, taking her time in order to imprint the evening on her mind.

“Ready m’lady?” Stefan called out to her.

“Not yet.  Would you mind waiting outside by the door? I’d like a moment to myself.”

“Of course, Lady Charlotte. The area has already been swept and secured. I’ll be outside whenever you’re ready to depart.”

The heavy front doors of the church closed slowly, but boomed in the emptiness of the sanctuary.  Slowly, Charlotte sank down into one of the pews in the middle of the room.  She inhaled steadily and closed her eyes, allowing herself to lean back against the pew instead of sitting up straight and proper, as a lady of the court should.

Her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Drake tonight.  In the hustle and bustle of the days after their fight, they never really had much closure. There were several moments this evening when she thought she caught a glimpse of him in the crowd. Her heart stopped each time she thought it was him, and part of her was disappointed each time she realized it wasn’t. She could almost swear she felt his presence around her at times, but she chalked it up to the constant guilt and shame she felt lingering around her.

Charlotte didn’t get much time to herself these days, but when she was alone her mind always wandered to Drake.  She had so many questions to ask him; to ask herself.  Mostly she wondered if Liam would ever find out about their tryst – how would he handle it? What would happen?

Then she found herself wishing nothing with Drake had ever started.  It made life so messy. So uncomfortable.  Why did she give in to him? Why did he give in to her? It would have made things so much easier to not have him in her life romantically, at least – but who was she kidding? She knew that if he had stayed around it would have happened no matter what.  The universe was unkind to them. They’d always have a magnetic pull towards each other. That’s why he had to leave.

She hadn’t talked to him about their relationship since that night. He had been around some, and Liam still invited him to everything. They were as close as ever, but he stayed away from Charlotte, only exchanging pleasantries and forcing shallow conversation when they were in public.

Charlotte always regretted that she was the one who walked away. She didn’t let him talk. Didn’t let him explain himself or finish his thought.  She’d curse herself forever for not at least hearing him out. What if he had a plan? What if he wanted to talk things through with Liam? What if he had wanted her after all?

[painterofthe-sun]

                    Wishlist // Roleplay Ideas

   { Just some vague roleplay ideas that’ve started growing in my brain... Plus, it means I’ll be using my “wishlist” tag again, so my new followers can browse through em and see if there’s anything I’ve got tucked away that has good thread potential~!

   { ...But for now, here’s some ideas that’ve become rooted in my head. If you’re interested in RP’ing one with me, feel free to shoot me an IM!! }

Amaterasu being captured. This would work best with villain or greedy characters (you know, who are all abt that power). Synopsis being that your muse has figured out Amaterasu is an extremely powerful being/a god. Managing to capture her, it’s a dark-toned thread of trying to manipulate her to their whims. (And likely not being all that successful.)      It grows into an ever more depressing theme: Amaterasu eventually developing feelings (whether her motherly care or twisted affection is up to you) for the captor, and wanting the better of them... Even though it’s just as likely that they won’t change their ways.

Adopting the doggess. Your muse ever want a dog? WELL, CONGRATULATIONS!!! They can now pretend they own a white wolf, when in all actuality, she actually owns your muse more than they do. Feed her food, cuddle a dog, and also get to know how fantastic she is at showing love and making your muse feel comforted...      Bonus points if your muse often gets into fights that she can assist in. Fighting dog, best dog!! MORE bonus points if later down the line, they come home to find a dark-haired woman in their home, raiding their fridge.

Meeting the goddess of the past. Tying into one of my MAJOR wants with fellow Okami/Shinto muse-owners, your muse meeting the goddess before her Okami adventure, the AU! She’s far more regal, uptight...but with a genuine, loving personality that’s hard to get past. A pure, likely-gonna-be-short meeting thread where your muse can show the kami of the sun what it means to be human. (So yes, human muses also very welcome! Or humanoid muses and they can learn how to Human together~ Other deities get to have a potentially interesting chat... Depends on the muse.)

Fake Relationship prompt. Look....... If you’re up for one-shot romance and wanna humor me..... I’ll love you forever............. Amaterasu’s gotta prepare for an event and it includes a +1. Aaaaannnd a few of her godly relatives have been invited and are still asking about when she’s going to get remarried. So! Cue Amaterasu picking up a friend to play fake-date with to get them to ease tf up...      ...Whether it’s as fake as it seems is up to you. ;)

The Curse of the Sun. Once upon a time, an evil demon forced a dark stone into Amaterasu’s body, creating a dark, alter ego that resides within the goddess to this day. With no clue where the demon has scuttled off to, it’s up to Amaterasu and your muse to find him and reverse the damage he’s done to her.      ...But what would your muse do when the goddess is provoked to the point that Ama makes her return...?

Arranged Marriage. Because sometimes, your Father just...isn’t done with meddling in your affairs. Whether or not your muse and Amaterasu click or it’s an arranged marriage made in hell is yet to be figured out!!       (And since Izanagi likely wouldn’t approve of anyone less than a fellow god to be with his daughter, this Mun is more than happy to help you develop a God AU for your muse, no problemo.)

Familial Chaos, for the fellow Kami/Okami associated muses. (AUs welcome, too!) An event which leads to your muse joining the family for dinner and learning really fast that they are what TV dramas probably got inspired by. Cause when I say the family.... I mean close to all of them.

An Injured Goddess. Inspired off of the classic animal-movie trope, your muse finds Amaterasu injured, potentially even close to dying. Your muses ends up nursing the wolf to health (or playing a big part in it, if they’re inexperienced; such as visiting them daily at the vet) and from there, ends up with a good companion... Even one who will fight to the death on your muse’s behalf.       Could lead to potential romance in the future, when her true form is revealed, or just feels-good platonic stuff all around.

Bodyguard AU. (Because who can resist...?) Wherein Amaterasu (or your muse!!) ends up becoming the other’s bodyguard...and likely their parent figure, keeping them out of trouble... While then sneaking out of the hotel an hour later to go have some fun anyways. Good, quality fun times between guard and their charge, no biggie.

Reborn AU. In which the goddess falls and returns...but not in the way anyone would expect; not like times before. Being reincarnated in a time of relative peace, Amaterasu lives her life as any other young, Japanese woman... Going to school as a child, entering college for arts and mythology, and then proceeding to live her life to the fullest. Far as she knows, she’s just like anyone else... Anyone else who can summon rain when sad, get hit by the worst seasonal depression during the winter, and save any dying plant without having studied a lick of botany.       So when trouble comes to our muses and the young woman summons a sword from out of the blue... It’s time to maybe realize there’s more to her than anyone first thought. Oh, and, y’know... Go kick some evil butt, too?

[pastcloudfromffvii]

im giving it a shot, though. i feel like a total asshole for not realising the freezer didnt shut last night, and i just spent a couple of hours singing with ladies from chorus i haven’t seen since like. october basically, and now im back in bed even though its only 5pm. whining under the cut because ehhhh ive already typed it up so i might as well post it. if you could flick it a like if you do bother reading under the cut i’d appreciate it just so i know.

im gonna. try write up a resume i think. i’ve never had a working one because i have literally 0 experience lmao. but data entry is what i’m good at, i’m a fast typer and i’m pretty good when it comes to accuracy when proofing stuff and whatever. now i just have to convince winz that i do, in fact, know myself better than they do and that data entry is not only what my skills are geared toward, but also possibly the only thing i’m currently capable of. im not capable of full time work rn either which is another wrench in the works, but honestly i could probably pull off an 8 hour day of data entry right off the bat. i know mindless deskwork is soul killing for a lot of people but autism makes it perfectly fine for me honestly.

my favourite thing to do at school was just sit there and write down everything on the board, and also copy everything out of text books. i didnt retain a damn fucking thing but hell if i didnt enjoy physically doing it, other than cramp in my writing hand. i know not all data entry is like this.

i dont remember when my next appointment with my psychiatrist is but i have a feeling zex is going to deal with that for me if i haven’t recovered. i often forget that chronic fatigue is a thing that i experience personally, even though i talk about it a lot. there’s having daily limited energy, and then there’s my current situation. 

i know not all systems fit The Typical Layout that you get on trauma support sites and the dsm n shit but like? they always list at least one alter being combative, insofar as that they will argue against psychs n shit that the system doesnt need help and it took me forever to figure out that if we are Assigning Official Roles, that one’s zex. and im lucky in that they generally agree with my psych at least on the basics. he talks over me very easily but zex doesn’t give enough of a shit to let doctors talk over them so. that’s nice. zex is actually the driving force in us trying to get better, because the rest of us either 1 are afraid of help 2 could literally give less of a shit 3 want help and to be independent to some degree at least but dont know how to go about it (that one’s me)

and then theres... the social worker situation, which i dont even have the energy to resolve. battling for more than half a year now to get her to call a therapist for me because we’ve been over time and time again why i cant call myself is exhausting. she’s still totally convinced that idk im just trying to get out of calling or something. she hasnt even bothered with the “why does it matter if the therapist can hear your thoughts over the phone if youre going to be discussing deep stuff with them anyway” which would be a poor argument in itself lmao. i just, im so tired. im tired of the medical system and i’m tired of the severe lack of staffing which causes me to go months and months without a psych appointment and. just. i’m tired.

i just want to be Better and Functional already. the medication helps and boy do i feel it when i miss it (to be fair it doesn’t get worse than i used to be when i miss it for like a week, it just gets as bad as it was before i was medicated and its a pretty good reminder hah) but. idk. idk where i’m going with this. im just a useless asshole with no inherent worth right now as far as my opinion is concerned and i want to fix that but lying in bed on a sunday evening instead of doing any of the myriad things i could be doing to make the flat a little nicer a place to be for my flatmates isn’t helping anyone. but i can’t do anything about that right this second. 

and i can’t just sleep off this mood either because sleep is ‘wasting time’ and i cant fucking sleep when i decide to anyway. i wish my social worker would stop telling me that going for walks will fix my insomnia because it really fucking wont. i get out and go walkies as often as i can, and it is really good for you but Physical Exercise is not the be all and end all of all psychological problems. physical exhaustion doesnt put me to sleep, mental exhaustion does. but i dont know what healthy mental exhaustion looks like.

[ratajota]

since watching kids cartoon analyisis on youtube induces a state of verborrhage, im gonna say a few things about nelyn that ive slightly tought about and just dont sound right to me anymore:

- there are many, MANY things that nelyn does that make absolutely no sense that were basically driven by my own teenage libido, which is, the endless gay longing of sweating while thinking about holding hands. a way late teens and adults dont normally behave. nelyn, im so sorry. in which:

1 - joining the telvanni and succeeding was one of those things. partly inspired because i just wanted my friends oc to be his friend and develop them together. it gave me a bullshit excuse in how in earth would nelyn manage to become a real hortator while having the charm and charisma of a rat in dunmeri political terms, and how in earth could nelyn become so magically powerful. i made it so nelyn magically succeeded despite everything just pointing to this not working. hell, he would make a better redoran.

there was this whole arc (which i would not discard) where he got an apprenticeship at port telvannis, since he needed Mage Papers to get a shot at being a proper telvanni, worked his ass off to be independent and sustain himself, while receiving all sorts of academic mistreatment and backlash. basically, rigurous magic methods versus the purely intuitive unmethodic magic of nelyn, and also, he can´t read. the sheer discrimination of it all. he learned much more and grew more as a person by doing labor in the island than in academy, then went back to vvardenfel. originally, he did become an Alternative Alteration Smart Master Wizord, but this is just out of character. at most, he is a crazy philosopher greatly influenced by other crazy boethians

2 - those brief times with teldryn and julan that were continuously scrapped and rewritten because guess what.... didnt make sense because they all strongly clash personality wise. with teldryn, theres this great naivety of liking the first person that treats you more or less okay, with julan, which i constantly had to stop writing and twist things because they would get REALLY heated up and hated each other forever because they are both determined hot headed little shits and really had no reason to travel together (nelyn would Never give him the pleasure of letting him believe he was the neverbrain). also, this reeks a lot like transmasculine fear

i will not talk about hassim. thats too embarrassing. but consider that whole ordeal also another mistake

notice how nelyn has no acquaitances or FRIENDS and only guys that he has weird homo tension or unrequited/failed relationships with? this is called the author was a queer 16 years old with very little life experience and a lot of idealization.

3 - the weird themes around masculinity. Nelyn obviously goes from being curious, sensible/sensitive, negociating, perceptive and wary of the world and spirits, being very connected to them, to completely brazen and colluding with everything in his path, twisting everything to fit his destiny and reshaping his narrative. it makes a bit of sense if you understand that he came from a place where everything went more or less swimmingly for him, that he was doing great, was loved and everything he did was fantastic, and he harbored a quiet resentment for the very few things that were not allowed for him (ethnic belonging, a bloodline, normality as in not being a witch, the empire seeping in windhelm). it is public knowledge that morrowind simply treats anybody like shit, and boy was nelyn greatly offended. Nelyn never really acts or approaches the spiritual matters of morrowind with genuine respect and love as he treated those of skyrim, he did it with great interest, yes, but there was this very strong intention of FIXING THINGS HIS WAY, instead of feeling he was talking and negociating with a force of nature. again, aedric vs daedric stuff

there´s this thing where nelyn goes from being a very disorientated tourist having constant meltdowns (which always end in some sort of “fuck these people” realization that drives him forward - he is simply unable to sink and give up, its something hardwired in him for some reason) to a hortator, with all that word means. i took the mantling stuff into the story as well, nelyn becomes as golden as nerevar and doesnt really return to his senses until the main events are over and allows himself to suffer.. this all is casually happening as he transitions. theres this clear narrative where he stops being a victim and becomes the one holding the reins, or maybe the whip. metaphysical demonization of transmasculinity trope?

nelyn is also greatly overpowered, but for a long time, it´s absolutely useless and more of an obstacle to basic normal function. being almost unable to battle despite knowing how to use axe due to the overwhelming sensations of either the dagoth corruption or daedric energies. again, in a point of the story, he goes from passively perceiving things and communicating with them (often going very wrongly for him), and learns to materialize his will and force reality to do what he wanted, no longer listens to the world around him.

this all by itself is neutral, it does not have a relationship with gender, but at some point i just made nelyn trans just because, with little thought. i dont know if i can freely talk about this since people get their jimmies rustled, but i dont think anyones gonna care in this dying platform. it all casually ties with the hortator and conqueror themes. many times after 2017 i came across nelyn and wondered how does a person that looks, feels, and thinks like two different people at the same time can be the same person. the obvious answer is yes, these two are contained by the other one at the same time, there´s always a presence of this mystical nelyn in the more emotional matters, and theres always a hortator nelyn coming to the rescue in his earliest moments, driving him forward.

4 - nelyns transition doesnt make sense, and so doesnt the lore i constructed around it. flesh magic, good, ok, we get it, totally lore friendly. but theres no real reason why would someone with little to no problems with their physical appearance, who didnt think that an operation that is not life-saving exists, or that someone very androgynous would jump right into such drastic things just because a wizard told them they could do it. i have a lot of conflicting views of him, his image and his presentation, but his hypermasculinization, when we dont really know what it means and is necessary to be a man in morrowind, and supposedly there is gender equality in skyrim is like... wherever is this sudden short hair and stern manliness coming from? i know, PROJECTION

5- there have been a Lot of arcs that were thought about after the end of the main quest, telvanni mage nelyn, oblivion playthrough, just descent into madness, and most recently, a return to skyrim with an eventual return to morrowind. for some reason, they all meet this dead point where nelyn just breaks and cannot deal with it all anymore, with no more willpower or knowing what he wants to do, when his character for a lot of time was based on that. someday i will know the reason for this

6- i dont even remember how much i twisted the mq into something of a huge scale but definitely unrealistic