#i might start posting all these one shots on ao3

[sugoi-and-spice]

Taking Care, Taking What's Mine - A "Play Nice" Commission

Summary: A Play Nice AU Chapter, in which, rather than taking the high road and trying to build a real relationship with the girl he's been sextorting for weeks, Tomura Shigaraki baby-traps her instead.

CW: Quirkless!AU, Dub-Con, Smut, Extortion, Baby-Trapping, Forced Pregnancy, Love-Bombing, Manipulation, Power Play, Possessive Shigaraki, Yandere Shigaraki, Morning Sickness, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

AO3 Link

A/N: Happy fucking Father's Day readers!! Lmao! I got this AMAZING commission a while ago to write an AU of my AU (a fanfic writer's dream come true honestly), of Shigaraki baby-trapping MC and well, while it took longer then I meant it to to come out, I'm so glad that I could post it on Father' Day of all days lmao.

Anyway though, this was so much fun to write. Shigaraki has been on the journey of bettering himself for so long in Play Nice now, it was a total blast returning to form and writing him nice and scummy again.

I'd love to do more of these honestly, so as a reminder: I give discounts on Commissions that take place in my AU's.

Play Nice, Burnt Bridges, Step by Step -- all of them. They're super fun for me to write and most of the heavy-lifting of ideating and plotting has already been done for them, so I'm happy to write fics like this for cheaper. :)

Anyway, enjoy some forced parentification on this day of dads. xD

“Hey, hey— are you alright?”

She lifted her head from where she’d been resting it against her gym locker, the coolness of the metal being the first thing to even remotely ease the headache she’d been fighting for the last three days. 

“Yeah, of course,” she tried to force a weak smile as Nejire approached her, clearly concerned, “Why do you ask?

The captain was dressed in her practice suit. And she quickly realized that so were all the other girls, most of them already making their way out the doors to the pool deck. She was the lone straggler who hadn’t even managed to undo her uniform tie yet. Nejire looked over at these girls, and then back to her, wordlessly demonstrating why that should be obvious.

She laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her head, “Okay, I guess I’m feeling a bit under the weather today…”

And that was the understatement of the century. She felt like absolute shit . Piling on top of that stubborn pounding in her head were a pair of really sore tits, a lethargy that stuck with her no matter how much vending machine coffee she chugged, and cramps that had shot straight out of hell and directly into her uterus.

But to be honest, she couldn’t complain too much about these ailments. In fact, she was pretty damn relieved. These were all her tell-tale signs of PMS. They were a little worse than usual this time around sure, but if that was the tradeoff for the relief of not being pregnant, she’d take it in a heartbeat. Her period was only one day late at this point and it had all but paralyzed her with fear.

Of course in retrospect, the fear did seem a bit silly. After all, Shigaraki’s creepy family doctor had warned her there might be some changes.

“I never start patients new to birth control immediately on a Long Acting Reversible Contraception,” he explained, “Especially not teenagers.”

“Why not?” she demanded, “It’s reversible, right? It’s not like you’re tying my tubes or anything.”

“No, but you never know how your body is going to react to the hormonal shift. You could develop acne, weight gain, hair growth—”

“I don’t care about that superficial stuff.”

“... Migraines, blood clots, depression,” he continued, looking at her pointedly.

She looked away, feeling a bit stupid for interrupting him now that he’d listed the more serious side-effects.

“I’m not saying you have to stay on the pill forever. But give it a few months, see how you feel on it. It can help us better determine which long-term birth control is best for your body without any unnecessarily invasive procedures.”

She shuddered at the very thought of being stuck in this set-up with Shigaraki for months. She hoped he’d get bored of her sooner rather than later.

Well, on the brightside, at least this sketchy-ass doctor seemed to be as interested in looking under her skirt as she was having him down there. However, this still left the ever so pertinent issue of:

“Okay, but there’s still the issue of getting the pills. No pharmacy is going to give me these without signed parental consent.” She had the always convenient Japanese purity culture to thank for that.

Ujiko simply smiled and pulled out a wheel of birth control pills from his medical bag right then and there.

“Consider these the same as this appointment,” he said, cupping his hands over hers and placing the wheel firmly into her palm, “ Off the record. ”

And then the rest of the “appointment” had descended into one of extremely thinly-veiled intimidation that bizarrely enough, she’d relied on Shigaraki of all people to save her from. By that point, she’d been scared so shitless she had very little argument left in her to try and reason him into just giving her the damn IUD.

The regret of not standing her ground on the issue did hit her later that night on the train home. Particularly when she thought over the fact that the way they were keeping these pills off the record was by having her pick up her refills through Shigaraki. The idea of giving him even more power over her like that made her feel sick to her stomach. And yes, while logically she knew that he had just as much motivation to keep her from getting pregnant as she did (she had a feeling All for One would not take too kindly to his star successor knocking up a lowly commoner such as herself), she still just had a bad feeling about the whole thing.

So she’d resolved herself on her first refill day to completely lay into Shigaraki for any level of tomfoolery he may get up to in this situation. There would be no forgetting, no being too busy to pick up the pills for her, absolutely nothing. She was ready to rain full fire and brimstone on him if there was even a hint of bullshit.

But to her surprise (and relief), she hadn’t even crossed the threshold of his bedroom before he was tossing a new pack to replace her wheel with. Simple and nonchalant, and then he was just as quick as always to badger her about getting her clothes off already, get on the bed already, break up with your boyfriend already.

It was the same old, same old — for better or for worse. Even if she couldn’t trust Tomura Shigaraki himself, that action had at least ensured that she could trust his own desire for self-preservation.

And that was better than nothing she supposed.

Back in the locker room, Nejire asked her, “Do you think you’re coming down with something?”

She smiled at her friend, joking, “Nothing I don’t come down with every month.”

Nejire tilted her head in confusion for a moment before the lightbulb visibly lit up in her head.

“Ohhhhh,” Nejire nodded sympathetically, “Yeah, Aunt Flow can be a real meanie sometimes, huh?”

She laughed, then winced as the action worsened the throbbing in her head,  “Damn it— you can say that again.”

Nejire’s brows furrowed and she brought a hand to the small of her friend’s back, “Hey, why don’t you take this afternoon off?”

She looked back to her, surprised, “Oh no, I couldn’t…”

“Sure you could!” Nejire chirped, “And honestly, you probably should. We’re working on our weakest strokes today. I had you down to work on your fly.”

Visible dread filled her as she thought about doing that much undulation in her current state.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Nejire laughed, “Seriously, go home. We’ll miss you, but we love you too. So we want you to take care of yourself.”

She debated a little more internally, one other loose thread dropping into her mind’s eye.

“If I do… Do you mind—”

“I’ll let Mirio know,” she shot her a wink as she clarified, “ After practice. I’ll let him know you just need the peace and quiet.”

She smiled at Nejire, genuinely grateful. This. This right here was what made all of the bending over backwards she did to fit in and please others worth it. To be cared about by such a good person. 

The warmth of that care stayed with her all the way out to the school gates, where she was then immediately filled with dread upon realizing that she’d need to go in one of two directions depending on where she was going after school: the train station home, or the walk to Shigaraki’s.

And just which direction she was scheduled to go today.

She let out a long groan, anguished and loud enough to startle a couple members of the going home club that passed her. For once though, she didn’t care about her reputation, she was too focussed on what a goddamn nightmare she was falling into.

She pulled out her cellphone with a sigh. Yes she knew the effort was probably futile, but damn her if she didn’t at least try.

Yup. She could’ve seen that coming from a mile away. She sighed as she shoved her phone back into her bag and started the very slow trek over to Shigaraki’s. 

“Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Shigaraki said as he looked her over his doorway, “You look like shit.”

She shot him a wholly unimpressed look as she shoved past him into his bedroom.

“Yeah, I fucking told you.” 

Shigaraki, surprisingly, didn't have anything to say about her tone, even with her brusqueness towards him being more than usual. He just watched her drop down face first onto his bed and curl her legs up into her chest.

She sighed at the slight relief the position gave her. While dealing with Shigaraki’s antics was about the last thing she wanted right now, she supposed that at least she could be grateful for how much closer his apartment was to her school then her own home was. It saved her a good fifty-minutes of white-knuckling a train stanchion to keep down her groans of pain. Now at least she could get the relief of laying down much sooner.

If only for a little bit.

“What’s going on?”

She bristled at Shigaraki’s voice, the unwelcome reminder that she wasn’t going to be able to truly relax right now. And while there didn’t seem to be any entendre or even impatience in his question, the fact that his voice was getting closer to her was enough to make her suspicious.

“My head aches, my back aches, my boobs ache — everything aches,” she grumbled down into his sheets, “And I feel like I’ve been donkey-kicked straight in the uterus.”

“You start your period or something?”

He didn’t sound sarcastic when he asked it, not that typical boy way of asking any time a girl did something they considered “moody”. It was a genuine question. But it irritated her all the same. 

Everything seemed to be irritating her these days.

“About to,” she answered, “It’s like a day late, but it’s definitely coming.”

She felt the bed shift a bit as he sat next to her.

“Are you nauseous at all?”

Her brows furrowed, a bit confused by the interest.

“I guess a little,” she answered, because even though it was mild, there was a certain turn in her stomach that wasn’t unlike motion sickness, “But honestly, I think it’s just from the pain. This has been going on for like three days.”

“Have you taken anything for it?”

She could’ve laughed if she wasn’t so annoyed by the reminder of all her futile attempts to alleviate this. Because of course he was looking for a quick fix so they could fuck already.

“I’ve taken everything for it,” she groaned, “Nothing’s working.”

He just hummed in response, and then she could feel the sheets behind her dip a bit as he repositioned himself. Into what orientation, she wasn’t sure. She was about to turn her head back and ask him what he was doing when she felt his hand featherlight across her hip.

And between her legs.

“No, Shigaraki please,” she whined, pulling he knees closer into her chest, “I’m not kidding, I’m seriously in a lot of pain—”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Tell that to your hand then,” she snapped as his fingers tried to wiggle their way between her clenched thighs.

“I mean I’m not doing anything for me. This is for you.”

“Oh is it now,” she deadpanned.

“I’m not gonna fuck you,” he insisted, more irritably this time, “Orgasms help with cramps, right?”

She stilled, sufficiently stumped by that particular statement. Because yes, she could say from experience that they absolutely did. She’d spent many a nasty period with her fingers latched to clit to chase that particular path of relief. 

…but why the hell did Shigaraki know that?

She gasped as she suddenly felt the gentle roll of her clit under three fingers. Apparently, in her moments of distracted deliberation, Shigaraki managed to push his hand past the plush lock of her thighs and under the hem of her panties.

“Sh-Shigaraki…” she whined, pushing her elbow blindly and weakly back towards him.

He caught it gently in his free palm and, rather than trying to pin or strain it in whatever which way he desired, like usual, he just held it there. Didn’t even hold it in place really, just shielded himself against its determined path towards his ribs.

“I’m serious,” he said, uncharacteristically soft, “I’m trying to help you.”

She finally mustered up the strength to — despite how much her aching abdomen hated her for it — turn and glower at Shigaraki.

“No funny business?” she pressed.

He settled his own flat expression on her, “When have I ever been funny?”

More times than she’d like to admit honestly, but she got what he was saying here. He was a pretty serious, straightforward person on principle. He didn’t bullshit, he didn’t pull cheap tricks, and, shockingly enough, he didn’t typically lie. Frustrating as it was, Tomura Shigaraki was pretty much always unapologetically himself and he always did what he wanted.

So if he said that he was doing this to help her, then she supposed that she didn't actually have a lot of reason to distrust him.

Plus, his fingers hadn’t stopped their soft, but affective ministrations between her legs, and the pleasant sparks of heated relief they were sending through her were undeniable.

She turned back onto her side with a sigh that was half-exasperation, half pleasure.

“Fine,” she said, throwing back quickly before he got too victorious, “But fuck around and I’ll kick you.”

Shigaraki just chuckled, a soft throaty sound that shouldn’t have sent the chills up her spine that it did, “Yeah, yeah…”

In one motion, careful not to jostle her too much, Shigaraki both pulled her back and scooched himself closer, until her back was nestled snug against his surprisingly firm chest and her head laid in the crux of his bicep.

With this new closeness he was able to be a bit more deliberate with the angle and pressure he used to rub at her swollen sex. And, while she hated to admit it, the increased blood flow between her legs was causing the pressure within her to build quite a bit faster than usual. Enough so that it had her letting go of the tension in her neck and joints — the automatic stress reaction she had to any of Shigaraki’s displays of intimacy — and letting the weight of her head drop fully into his embrace.

A shuddering sigh left Shigaraki at that clear relinquishing of control, of the way she truly let herself lay back and relax into him. It gave him the encouragement he needed to enjoy her to the fullest extent that he wanted her as well, burying his nose deep into her hair. 

He started to stroke wider circles around her, the flats of his fingers never leaving her clit, but now allowing the tips to dip softly into her entrance. He didn’t push them in at all past his first knuckles, just enough to catch some of that growing wetness and spread it all across her fluttering lips.

“A-Ah—” she gasped out, “Sh-shit…”

“Like that?” he rasped, hot against her ear.

She bit her lip, nodding needily, “Mm— Mm-hmm…”

He groaned at the response, doubling down on that motion as he started to stud long, hot kisses down the back of her jaw and neck. The feeling, so gentle and intimate and good in combination to the way he worked her sex, had her unconsciously rocking her hips into his touch, and back into his own.

Vaguely through the haze, she could feel the familiar outline of his stiff cock against the cleft of her ass, but shockingly he didn’t try to grind it against her for relief. If anything actually, when her own hips moved unconsciously back against it, he actually shifted his own hips away, anglind them down so his erection pushed into the bed instead. As if he didn’t want her to feel it, that he was concerned about her feeling pressured by its presence.

She didn’t have the chance to think too much into that though, not when his fingers were coaxing her closer to the edge by the second. The mess between her legs was obscene at this point, through teary eyes she could see the overflow of it spreading wide across her thighs and pooling down in the sheets. 

“God look at you, so fucking wet,” he groaned, lips having made it down to her shoulder and staying there so that he could have a better view of her writhing under his touch, “You needed this, huh? Fucking needed me…”

She buried her face into his arm to muffle her moans, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of an answer, but also not wanting him to stop.

By some act of God, Shigaraki didn’t push for that answer either. She wasn’t sure why he’d abandoned his typical demands and taunts, didn’t threaten to stop until she gave him the verbal submission and begrudging praise he always wanted. Nor did she stop to think about why, she just let the gratitude course through her, spurred further and wider by the waves of heat rushing through her body, threatening — promising — to overflow.

Shigaraki could feel that axiomatic tension in her body, the boiling point it promised, and sped up his hand to stoke the flames.

“You’re close aren’t you? Oh yeah, you’re close…” his kisses turned to nips at her neck between progressively more demanding growls, “Gonna be a good girl and come for me?”

Fuck, hearing those last words spill from his mouth should not have done what it was doing to her. But it was speeding up her peak, and it was speeding it up audibly.

“Yeah, yeah that’s good, really good. Let it go. Go ahead, be a good girl and let it go.”

She cried out, her arching back forcing her face forward and mouth unmuffled as finally, finally her body went blissfully loose, the pain of the past few days overtaken by waves of heat and pleasure. One after the other, her hormone-driven sensitivity wrung out multiple orgasms, and his frantic fingers were happy to work her through each one until she was begging him to stop.

“Good girl, yeah, yeah, just like that. That’s a good girl,” he continued to praise, returning time and again to that phrase he could feel her getting unconsciously excited over, “That’s my good girl…”

It was just a few blurry moments of consciousness after that. She was pretty sure she whined something like “too much” to him at some point, and he whispered back something that she was sure was just utterly debauched right back. Or maybe it was sweet nothings, he had really favored those by the end of this escapade after all. 

Whatever it all was, she supposed it didn’t matter. All that mattered in those seconds of labored breaths and fluttering lashes was the beautiful bliss and relief that finally overtook her body. That allowed her to immediately fall asleep in his arms.

Shigaraki held her there for a long time after. He raked his eyes greedily across her body, letting himself carve every detail deep into his memory. He knew he didn’t need to, not anymore. Her boyfriend, her parents, hell, whether or not she got into Todai with him, it was all a non-issue now. There was no reason for him to lose this anymore. She wasn’t going anywhere in life without him. He was going to be able to revel in this sight for the rest of his life now. And he just couldn’t believe how lucky he was for that.

He chuckled a bit at that. Well, maybe lucky wasn’t the right word. This was all by design after all, weeks of very deliberate planning and deception. It was just like he’d always been taught. It didn’t matter what hand you’ve been dealt — and Tomura Shigaraki had certainly been dealt a shit hand in a lot of ways — a real winner made his own luck. 

Sensei would be mad, Shigaraki knew that much. Everyone would be mad in fact, but he didn’t care. He was just following the fundamental lesson Sensei himself had instilled in him the day they met. 

Take whatever you want, and fuck all the rest.

Several minutes into hearing those sweet deep breaths of unconsciousness from the beautiful girl in his arms, Shigaraki finally peeled his fingers away from her cunt.

And slid a wide hand up to cradle her tummy.

It was dark when she woke up, not a single one of Shigaraki’s many monitors or television lit the windowless room. That was odd for a couple of reasons, the first of which being that the overhead lighting had definitely been on when she’d dozed off. The second of which was that any time Shigaraki wasn’t preoccupied with helping her study or studying her, he was chronically attached to at least one screen, if not multiple, so it was more than a bit odd for him to have zero on. The reason for the lack of blue light however became quickly apparent as her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness.

Shigaraki wasn’t here.

She was totally alone in his room, alone and tucked into his bed. Had he gone to the bathroom or something? But then why would all the lights be off? It seemed like he’d probably been gone for a while. Weird…

She threw off the covers and flipped her legs around with much more ease than she’d done anything over the last three days, much to her relief. However long she’d been out, the sleep had clearly done her some good. The pounding in her head and pelvis had finally ceased, perhaps just in time for her to actually start her period. She did feel some dampness between her legs after all. Although…

Her face heated up as she remembered the much more likely cause of that.

Damn it, she thought with a groan, dropping her head into her hands. She couldn’t believe that she actually let him do that to her, for her. He was going to get entirely the wrong idea from it. The idea that she might actually like him and want to spend time with him, that there was some kind of connection between them that extended past the time she was required to spend with him to keep him satisfied. And she absolutely could not deal with that.

Being his little sex toy was one thing. A demoralizing thing, yes, but a manageable one. She’d seen the way Shigaraki treated things he objectified — games and magazines and the like. He got bored of them quickly. And if she was one of those things in his eyes, then eventually he’d get bored with her too and she’d be free.

If he was attached to her though? Had found connection in her and a desire to keep her in his life? She didn’t even want to consider that nightmare scenario.

She made her way out into the hallway, looking up and down from the empty bathroom on one end of the hall to the top of the staircase on the other. She didn’t have to contemplate the lack of presence on this floor for long though, when she heard Shigaraki’s voice echoing up from downstairs, talking emphatically to Kurogiri, she assumed. 

She couldn’t hear exactly what he was talking about, but whatever it was, he was being particular about it. “Don’t overcook” and “perfect” were a few of the words she managed to catch, so it was about food, maybe? The accompanying sounds of sizzling pans and clanking cookware would certainly support that. As would the smell that suddenly hit her.

It wasn’t an unpleasant smell by any means. In fact, it was salmon, one of her favorites. But for some reason at that moment, the smell hit her with a particular intensity that made her feel overwhelmed.

And really fucking nauseous.

She just barely made it to the toilet at the end of the hall, not even fully down to her knees by the time she was emptying her stomach into the bowl. It wasn’t just a brief moment of sickness either. The bouts were loud and long, she was sure that it echoed throughout the entire apartment. It left her red-faced, skin covered and hair clumped with sweat, not to mention still gagging long after she had nothing left to gag on.

A hand she barely even noticed came to rest on the small of her back in the midst of it all. It was only in the aftermath, spent and dry-heaving that she could process the fact that it was Shigaraki, kneeling at her side, patiently stroking small circles into her clammy skin and encouraging her softly.

“Let it out. Just let it all out.”

She groaned once she finally seemed to have a solid thirty seconds of dry, steady breath. And Shigaraki used that respite to nudge a glass of water into her hands.

“Here.”

She didn’t argue or agree, just took it from him with shaky hands, tossing half of it just into her mouth to swish around and spit the remaining bitterness from her tongue.

 “Drink some of it too.”

She nodded shakily, still too drained and disoriented to be irritated with his telling her what to do, or suspicious of the fact that he was being so nice. 

And still, as she took entirely too long to finish the rest of her water with timid little sips, he just knelt on the ground with her, moving the hand on her back to rest on her knee, thumb rubbing circles into the spot where a bruise would undoubtedly form. 

Finally, after a long, silent stretch, she managed to croak out, “W-What time is it?”

“Only seven,” he answered, “Kurogiri’s got dinner almost ready downstairs. Seared salmon, brown rice, avocado salad—”

She whined, shaking her head roughly at the very implication of food.

“Don’t like salmon?”

“I-I do… It’s just—” she gagged a little as she remembered that smell that had set this all off in the first place, “Th-The smell right now. It’s too much…”

“Oh yeah…” he nodded understandingly, muttering something to himself that she couldn’t quite make out. It sounded kind of like, “Heightened” and “Read about that…”

Her brows furrowed a bit, frustrated and confused. She was getting the feeling that he was really not telling her something.

“W-What?”

Shigaraki just waved her off, “No, that’s fine, that’s fine. Salmon’s not the only thing he made. There’s sauteed spinach, wakame tofu soup, toasted—” 

Jesus Christ, was Kurogiri cooking for an army down there or something? 

Well, whoever it was all for, and as delicious as it all sounded in theory, imagining those foods in practice right now was making her feel sick all over again.

“Mm-mm, Mm-mm!” she whined, shaking her head again.

She didn’t want to risk opening her mouth right now, lest she blow chunks all over the front of Shigaraki’s shirt. Although wouldn’t that be a nice little serving of karma for him…

“You need to eat something,” he insisted, more lecturey than she’d ever heard him, but with a strange gentleness to his voice as well, “And you need to drink some more too. You’re totally dehydrated.”

She shook her head more emphatically at that, which only resulted in her falling forward into his chest. 

He caught her before she could fall any further, scolding her not too harshly, in fact, a bit whimsically, “Is this how you’re gonna be the whole time?”

She pulled her head back to look at him, a confused furrow in her brows that brought the corners of his lips up.

“It’s not a bad look on you to be honest. All weak and petulant,” he brought a hand to pinch lightly at her cheek, “It’s kinda cute actually.”

Her eyes narrowed, finally feeling her stomach steady enough in her to be annoyed. He chuckled, just as amused and endeared by this look as the last. 

“Well how about okayu?” he offered with a patronizing little lilt, “And maybe some ginger tea?”

He clearly wasn’t going to let this go. And infuriatingly, he was right not to. She definitely was in no shape to go home on this empty stomach. 

She sighed.

“Yeah… Yeah okay.”

Going at her own shaking, snailish pace, Shigaraki helped her up onto her legs, pulling her immediately into his side as he led her back towards his bedroom. Normally she’d protest, stick an elbow right into his ribs and storm on ahead of him, but honestly she needed the help right now. So she sucked it up and let him lead her back into his bed. 

But that didn’t stop her from eying him suspiciously as he propped his pillows up behind her and tucked her back in under his comforter, the overall way he doted and fretted over her, even stopping to look back at her one more time from the doorway before he returned downstairs to give Kurogiri the new marching orders.

She dropped her head back against the pillows when finally alone, a bad feeling settling heavier and heavier in her stomach. This was beyond weird, the way he was acting. Sure, the guy was overbearing and constantly demanding of her attention, stupidly needy even. But doting? Not only willing but eager to put her needs ahead of his own? Caring deeply about her actual well-being and not just what he wanted to be her well-being? This was all way too out of character for him.

“…You can tell me. If he bothered you, I mean. N-Not just the Doctor either… If um… If anything’s bothering you.”

She sighed at the memory. Alright, maybe she wasn’t giving him enough credit. He’d shown at least some capability and even interest in her wants and well-being, he wasn’t a complete monster.

But still, all of this? The cooing and the caring and the, erm, servicing even that he’d done? It felt like too much. Like she was missing something really key about it all.

Like something was wrong .

Whether she ended up getting lost in that train of thought for long, or Kurogiri had already had some okayu whipped up downstairs, she wasn’t sure, but she was startled by how quickly it seemed that Shigaraki returned with a breakfast tray in hand. She cocked her head as he set it up over her lap, this was a lot more robust than she was expecting, and, she realized as she examined everything on the tray, a lot more stocked as well.

There was okayu, front and center for her, yes. But also on the tray was another small bowl of soup (looked like the wakame that Shigaraki had mentioned, a thing of plain yogurt (the really fancy kind that came in the glass jars), a glass of orange juice…

And a little dish of four pills. 

Painkillers or antiemetics maybe? They looked more like vitamins…

“Go ahead and start with the okayu if you want,” Shigaraki explained as he climbed up into the bed next to her, “But I want you to try and get some of the wakame and yogurt down too…”

As he settled down, his legs flush with her own, he continued to rattle off instructions and explanations for the rest of her tray, sending her mind completely spinning, faster and faster, like a goddamn Gravitron.

And she was ready to get the fuck off.

“...if nothing else though, take the vitamins. You need the folate, calcium, iron, and the omega-3 especially, since you don’t want the salmon—”

“Okay, stop, stop, stop !”

Shigaraki paused, having the audacity to look at her like she was crazy for snapping. 

“Jesus—what the hell are you even talking about Shigaraki?!” she demanded, “What’d you say, folate? What? What is all this?”

He cocked his head, clearly playing innocent. Whatever this was, he was clearly enjoying the slow unraveling of it all.

“What’re you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about!” she snapped, “All this attention and doting and food stuff! What the hell is this all about?!”

He just smiled back at her, taking in how pretty she looked, even when mad (especially when mad sometimes), God, to think that this really was his forever now. He wondered if they had a girl, how much she’d look like her. He hoped a lot…

“I just want to make sure you’re getting all the vitamins and nutrients you need…”

He reached over then, spreading his hand flat against her stomach.

“ Both of you .”

She froze.

No.

No, he couldn’t mean—

She tried to speak, tried to ask what the ever-loving- fuck he was talking about, but her mouth had seemed to go dry. She tried several times to open and wet it a bit, but every time she did, it felt like her throat was closing too. It took at least four desperate attempts for her to finally force out one rasped:

“... what? ”

Shigaraki’s grin widened, and he started to rub circles gently across her belly.

“You’re gonna look so cute, all big and round with my kid,” he giggled suddenly as he remembered something, “Oh, and your tits too. I wonder how big they’re gonna get…”

She stared at him, unblinking, unbreathing. Everything but un-fucking-existing.

He couldn’t be serious. He was fucking with her. He had to be fucking with her!

“Th-That’s not funny.”

His grin evened a little, not disappearing outright, but settling away some of its blissful excitement into something more coyly victorious.

“I said it already,” he reminded, “When have I ever been funny?”

She shook her head in disbelief.

“N-No. No, no, no this isn’t— there’s no way—”

“I’ve got the tests ready when you need to pee, but I think it’s pretty clear. These are all the symptoms I read about.”

“No!” she insisted, “N-No, no— this is, it’s my period! It’s just a day late, it’s not—!”

He chuckled, “I know the symptoms can be similar, but come on. When’s the last time you’ve hurled like that thanks to your period? And the sensitivity to smell? You know this is different.”

Crumbling, every argument she could possibly think of was crumbling to dust before she could even get the thought fully formed. And cruel, vicious reality was more than happy to take its place.

“B-But my birth control pills…”

“Fertility pills,” he explained, his splitting-grin returning in full, “I would’ve preferred to get Clomid from the doctor, but it looks like the over the counter stuff and tracking your cycle worked just fine.”

Her stomach dropped. Pieces of memories, peculiar behaviors and nagging thoughts she’d had over the last two months falling into place. How there were stretches of times where he’d cancel their sessions, only to insist they make them up a few specific days in a row. How he wanted to go multiple rounds a lot those days. How he’d stopped wanting blowjobs from her entirely. How he seemed to only want to fuck her from behind or with her knees pressed hard into her chest, positions he could fuck her the deepest in.

And how he’d have her stay still with his cock buried in her after he came. 

Back then, she just thought he was being weird and pervy. And in a way she was right.

Horribly fucking right.

Shigaraki shifted his legs away from her so that he could bring his head down to her lap, laying his cheek blissfully against her belly. 

“Was so easy,” he hummed against her skin, “Like your body was just waiting for me to knock you up. Waiting for me to make you mine…”

His hands moved across her body, one coiling behind her back so that he could pull her tighter into him, the other lacing his fingers through her own. The fingers on her trembling left hand.

“Both of you, forever,” he growled happily, a predator who had finally and definitively sunk his teeth into his prey, “All mine.”

[ghost-recs]

can we get some bakugou recs 😊😊 (written and smaus pleaseee)

hello hellooo! oh man do i ever have some! you have no idea the can of worms you are opening my friend.

but first i am so sorry for how late this rec is! i wanted to get this done days ago, but the semester has been crazy packed. i'm going to get through all my asks one by one. thank you for your patience! anyways let's get into this !!

Bakugou Recs

Garden of Lungs (Hanahaki) by oweCrew [ao3]

synopsis: you have your whole life ahead of you, a promising future and jobs lined up after UA...but these stupid flowers are going to be the death of you, literally.

i flew through this fic so fast. it was the first time i had every heard of hanahaki disease and oof to my heart. i loved it!

Late Night Calls by fictionpls [ao3]

synopsis: much to bakugou's disdain, you skipped your meals again. tch, he's basically taking care of you at this point.

cute lil fluff oneshot with bakugou as your best friend...maybe more.

Nothing More, Nothing Less by @dekustowel

synopsis: bakugou made a big whoopsies. the only way to get out of it? fake date you, the internet's sweatheart, duh!

this smau idea has a hold on me. i'm a sucker for the fake dating trope. and i mean seriously, it's bakugou! [ongoing...]

Nerd (Affectionately) by @oniku-niku

synopsis: you're in love with bakugou, have been since you were kids. there was no use in hiding the truth. but did he have to be so rude about it??

most of this smau is a big ouch to the heart. but the drama gets heavier as the story goes on and i'm here for it! happy soft ending! :)

Speak by Kikyo851 [ao3]

synopsis: you could not believe that your soulmate was such a crude and violent person...just to spite the universe and him you decide not to say a word to your "soulmate."

soulmate au in which the first words that your soulmate says to you is written on your wrist. this fulfilled my needs of a bakugou soulmate au! so cute and it is complete!

Of Snowscapes & Explosions by sugarbun [ao3]

synopsis: you've been categorized as second to shoto todoroki ever since grade school. after a frustrated vent to bakugou and a few of his cracks revealing some of his own frustrations you realize that maybe you and him aren't so different after all.

guys....when i tell you this fic is the slowest slow burn. i feel like it's so accurate to how bakugou would actually fall for someone. sadly, this fic is unfished tho and hasn't been updated in a couple years😭 but you should read it anyways.

cover shot (through the heart) by @andypantsx3

cross posted on ao3 here! cover shot (through the heart) by andypantsx3

synopsis: you're the only one who can deal with bakugou's attitude in the industry. he hasn't found something that bothers you...until he starts flirting with you, hello??

model/celebrity au. super cute fic. i'm warning you this is much spicier than some of my other recs. mdni. (also check out this author's other works. they have a lot of top tier content!!)

Motherly Love by @kweenkatsuki-fics

synopsis: bakugou gives his mom a late night call to thank her. the reason why softens her heart greatly.

super soft lil drabble that just about brings me to tears everytime i read it. in love with bakugou fr.

déjà vu by @cashmoneyyysstuff

synopsis: bakugou thinks back to some oddly familiar memories with you. and one thing always stays the same, you both are together.

oneshot the made my jaw drop. hit me hard in the feels.

untitled oneshot by @honeypirate

synopsis: being paired with your number 1 enemy for a group project proved that the universe hated you. well might as well have some fun with this and make bakugou's life just as miserable.

college au oneshot. i am always down for a good enemies to lovers trope!

risky by @kusaka6e

synopsis: moving from another country to work as a pro hero in japan was not the easiest. and a certain hot headed hero only adds to your frustrations.

oneshot about the obvious grown tension between you and pro hero dynamite.

i hope you find something you like! sorry for the late rec, have a lovely day/night!

[pheonixgrave]

Ignore It (18+)

This is really my first time posting a story to here, I usually only do it to AO3, but this is what I made this account for. Might as well start using it?

WARNINGS: Heavy smut, corruption kink, mild blood kink? (not sure about that one) Fem Tav, hetero relationship, stress fucking, not beta'd, angst, use of cunt

Smut blow the cut, please enjoy!!

Trekking through the wilderness was exhausting as is. But the bickering? That was starting to drive Tav crazy. Vampire this. Shar that. Eating magic this. Demons that. It was always something else. No matter what she did, they were always at each other’s throats. Oh the irony in that. Maybe the Illithid worm wasn’t the worst thing. Maybe this, the arguing, was the worst thing to happen to her. If she had to hear any Githyanki phrases in the next thirty minutes, she might kill Lae’zel herself. Tav was at her wits end, ready to beat her head against the nearest tree just to see if that got rid of the tadpole. It would be a win-win if it also got everyone else to shut up. 

They didn’t even let up at camp. Sure, they all had their respective tents and spaces. But the glaring. Oh, the glaring! Not a moment of peace before bed. She sat near her bedroll, closer to the fire Gale had set up. A tankard in hand, her back to the more vocal members of the party. She could practically hear Lae’zel glaring at Astarion. And Shadowheart wasn't exactly quiet about her distaste for him either. It’s not like there was an Infernal being less than ten yards away from him. Or a Warlock just across the flames. 

She very quickly downed the rest of her drink before tossing the tankard near the flames. Curling up in her bedroll, she tried to block out all of the noise and barbed words. It was currently taking everything in her to not scream at her first three companions. They had all been through something insane and deadly. Why could they not have it in them to simply get along? It felt impossible. 

Fortunately, her sour mood was noticed by her party. Not that she’d realize it at the moment. The biggest point of contention, Astarion, managed to get the courage to walk up to their fearless, albeit grumpy, leader. He nudged her with his foot. Which he immediately realized was a bad decision. Taz shot up to meet his eyes in the blink of an eye. “What do you want?”

The bite in her voice was unmistakable. But he knew how to handle it. “I want-”

“Don’t bother,” she cut him off. She never cut him off. She was more than happy to let him talk at her sometimes. The final glare she gave him was intense as she stalked towards the lake, away from everybody else. Astarion watched her walk away. Did he only watch to see her hips sway? Absolutely. But that didn’t change the fact that the Bard needed to relax. He smiled to himself before following her. “Didn’t I say don’t bother? I’m not in the mood to be your midnight snack tonight.” 

He didn’t fail to match her step. “Why darling! Do you truly think so little of me?” He pouted. 

Tav just sighed, “Take your antics somewhere else for now, Astarion.”

“Will you just sit down?” He pushed on her shoulders, forcing her down.

Much to the rest of the party's dismay, she did trust the vampire. Whether that would lead her to her own doom was yet to be seen.

Her knees crumbled under the pressure as she fell on the ground. She shot another glare in his direction but that didn’t seem to dissuade him from his plan.

“You’ve been far too stressed today, darling.” He purred in her ear, his hands never leaving her shoulders. 

“Astarion?” He continued to move her body until she was on her stomach.

“Shhh, do you trust me?” Gods, that man was always far too much for Tav.

“Should I?”

He chuckled as he readjusted himself so he was sitting on the back of her thighs, straddling her. It took every ounce of self restraint he had to not immediately rub her ass. Gods, it always looked so perfect when she walked. He took a deep breath before applying pressure between her shoulder blades. He felt her body tense before slowly relaxing. 

It wasn’t what she expected. Was he giving her a massage? His hands worked slowly from the base of her neck to her waist. And-oh? Did she just moan? 

“It’s alright, my dear, I love hearing you.” He smirked before continuing his work. He continued like that for a few moments, just enjoying the little sounds she was making. “Let's get you out of these clothes, shall we?”

She pushed him off her, rolling on her back and sitting up. “So that’s what this was? Just an excuse to get me naked?” That fire was coming back.

“Darling, if I was trying to get into your pants, I’d try flattering you more first. Unfortunately, it is difficult to get this right over your clothes.” He sat next to her, staring out at the water, just watching the water crash against the coast. “I was taught how to do this a long, long time ago.”

She stared at the rogue before swallowing. The tips of her ears and the back of her neck were flushed. But she did trust him. He would say if this was untoward. Right? With a shaky breath, she sighed but said “Alright.” 

Astarion watched her shaky hands start to untie the little knots holding her bustier. His mouth started to water, but he had patience. As she shrugged the last of her tunic off, she covered her chest and turned the other way. He did manage to lay down her tunic so she wasn’t just laying on the dirt anymore. She laid herself in front of him. He could feel how shaky her breath still was as he climbed on top of her once more. 

He resumed his previous work, addressing the knots in her lower back. The elf’s skin was so soft, so warm. He found himself just getting lost in the feeling of someone trusting him. It was a strange feeling but a welcome one. 

Tav, on the other hand, was getting lost in his touch. His cold hands worked their way up her back and she liked it far more than she thought she would. What started off as little moans slowly became louder. It didn’t help that he was an expert with his hands. And her mind started to trail off to things that were unbecoming of a lady.

But Astarion could feel her thighs clench. No matter how she tried to move without him noticing too much. Gods, he could almost smell her arousal. Over 200 years old and here he was, still trying to keep himself from getting hard. But then she moaned his name. And what little restraint he had disappeared. He put his hands near her head before leaning down towards her ear. “This wasn’t an excuse to see you naked but you are making it very hard to not act on my…baser impulses, my dear.” He felt the shiver go down her spine. 

“Astarion,” she moaned again before grinding back on him. And she got what she wanted when he flipped her on her back without moving from his spot. And there she was, laid out in front of a vampire spawn with her chest bare. She looked up at him with wide eyes, unsure how to go from there. But him? He had far more experience than most. He moved faster than she thought. He captured her lips as he slotted himself between her thighs. And just like that, his hands were everywhere. 

It was like he couldn’t decide where he liked them best. Her throat? Her breasts? Her hips so he could grind against her? He just couldn’t decide. And she tried so hard to keep herself quiet. But then he moved his lips down her neck, his fangs brushing over the still healing marks from the night before. He thought about feeding for a moment, but something far more filling had his attention right now. He moved until he had her nipple in his mouth. Flicking the nub with his tongue, his hand went to massage the other one. He wasn’t gentle. No one that knew Astarion for who he was thought he was a gentle man. It was rough but Tav didn’t seem to mind. 

In fact, Tav seemed to love it. Her back arched into him. “Astarion!” And then her hands were on his shoulders, urging him downwards.

And he didn’t want to fight it. He kept moving, biting and nipping at her stomach. And then he got to her trousers. He sat up, panting and looking wild. His fangs were bared and he was panting hard. He threw her legs on his shoulders, tossing her loafers somewhere behind him. And then he went to work on the knots holding her trousers up. Which he made very quick work of. He shimmied them off her, making sure to keep her underwear on for a moment. He stripped off his shirt before returning to her mouth. 

He needed her. 

“Astarion, please, touch me.”

He was quick to snake his hand towards her cunt. And even quicker to find the spot that made her gasp into his mouth. Gods, he could do this forever. He made his way back to her neck, lapping over those same marks. Her hand tangled itself into his hair and the other gripped his shoulder with far more strength than he expected. His cold hands were a sharp contrast to the warmth of her. Her head was thrown back against the ground as she gasped for air. She was shaking. 

It was already so much for her. She had been so pent up and so angry. But the way he worked her clit? It was a way no one ever had before. Not even herself. In fact, no one had ever touched her like this before. Nothing past shy kisses or heady glances. If she had known, maybe she would have lived her life a little differently. 

But once her back arched and she cried out his name? She clenched around nothing. She felt so empty now and he hadn’t even gotten close yet. He chuckled as best he could, “Already, darling?” he muttered against her neck.

“I-” she gasped once he slid a finger inside her. “Astarion,” his name rolled off her tongue and he swore he wouldn’t mind hearing her do this forever. He could still feel her cunt clench around his fingers and he groaned. He couldn’t wait much longer but she was enjoying herself. “I’ve never-” he curled his finger before adding a second one. 

“You’ve never felt this good before?”

“Done this before,” she managed to gasp out before he curled his fingers again. 

His hands stalled for a moment and she whined. “I’m to be your first?” She nodded, wriggling her hips, trying to will him to move again. “My dear, why didn’t you say anything?” He removed his fingers and she cried out. “Shhh, I have to make a good first impression, don’t I?”

He practically ripped her underwear off. She was a virgin. He couldn’t lie that it made him even harder to think about being the only one who got to touch her. But he had to take care of her if he wanted to be the only one.

He buried his face in her cunt, holding her thighs open with his hands. Tav covered her mouth to hide her cries of his name. But it was his name on her lips. His fingers going right back inside her, where they belonged. His lips on her clit. He groaned again when she came, this time right on his face and hands. He lapped at her for a moment longer and started pistoning his fingers in and out. He couldn’t help but watch her cum make a mess of his fingers. 

“Astarion!” She cried as she came on his fingers yet again. “Please!”

“Please what, my dear?” He wiped her juices off his chin before closing the distance between them. His lips hovered over hers, those red eyes glazed over with a hunger. Her eyes fluttered open. She smiled at him, all too happy to offer herself to him. She bared her neck. And dive he did. His fangs pierced her neck once again as he drank. He knew better than to drink more than his share but he wanted nothing more than to keep drinking as she wrapped her bare legs around his waist and rubbed her cunt against the fabric of his trousers. He released her neck and practically shredded what was left of his clothing. 

He leaned back for a moment, taking in the sight. This elf, a noble from Waterdeep, was laid out before him. Freckles dotting her skin and her blonde hair spread out like a halo before him. It would be angelic if not for the blood slowly trickling out of her neck. “Astarion,” she whispered. Her voice was full of something he couldn’t quite place. Something he had pushed aside a long time ago. 

All he could do was nod before he lined himself up to her. As he slowly slid in, he swore that this was the closest he could get to heaven. 

Astarion wasn’t small. Tav could feel his cock stretching her cunt out. Why did no one ever tell her it could feel like this? She gripped his shoulders and wrapped her legs around him once more. She sighed as he finally finished. “Gods above, you’re amazing.” She whispered, almost too afraid to say it. Too afraid to say the other things on the tip of her tongue. Her eyes traveled down his body to where they were connected before looking back up at him. 

“Shit,” he panted, withholding every emotion that came flooding through him. Instead, he snaked a hand underneath her thigh, lifting it up before he began to thrust.

She thought just having her inside him felt amazing. But this angle had her barely able to breath. She threw her head back and arched into his body. It was all she could do to hold on to him as he upped his pace. Tav could barely gasp out his name as she tried to look at him. His eyes were shut and his hair was more than perfectly tousled. “Beautiful,” was all she could get out before she tightened around his cock. 

“Shit!” He followed closely behind her, seemingly unexpectedly. They laid there for a moment, just feeling each other before he slipped out of her. She cried, a palpable sense of emptiness. He watched her breath for a few moments longer, secretly enjoying his cum starting to drip out of her cunt. Normally, he’d leave. He’d get up, put his clothes back together and leave. But Tav? Something told him he couldn’t. So he grabbed his tunic and wrapped her in it before carrying her to the water. 

He tried not to notice her nuzzling his neck. He tried to ignore the praises she said. He tried desperately to ignore the draw she had on him. He tried to ignore her moan as he set her in the shallow water, gently taking his tunic off her shoulders. Instead, he sat next to her and let the water wash away the previous activities. 

[flamingpudding]

Masterpost

I think I did enough writing on tumblr that this should be okay to do :D

Update status: 04.05.2024 Updated all Lists with everything up to that day :)

Ghost Kid in Ghotam

AO3 Link: Available here, so far [8/?] Parts updated

Warning for AO3: Parts / Chapters might have additional content or slightly changed content after editing. Since tumblr Posts are the Raw Versions.

1. The Beginning

2. Literal Angle Biter

3. Feral brother of mine

4. How to catch a baby brother

5. Thrill and Chirp brother

6. A dead but now revived Son

7. Interlude: A different perspective

8. Ghost Cult Guides and Light Silhouettes

9. Pit Demons aren't pets, now stop biting!

10. No work at the dinner table

11. One Step Closer

12. A Mother's Care

13. Interlude: A Brothers Protection

14. The secrets we keep for others

15. Green and Red Emotions, similar but not

16. ...

The Ghost King is my Uncle Drabbles

Original One Shot

Shovel Talks - Rowdy Cousin

It started with a Ouija Board

Ouija Board Prompt Idea

Ghost Hunting Vigilantes Part 1 Part 2

Summoning Gone Wrong

Modern (Fenton) Ghost Hunting Part 1

Ghost Twins: Lost in Gotham

Work in Progress...

Original Prompt

Sneak Peak

Drake's family secret

Part #1 #2

Cassiopeia and Orion

Part #1 #2 #3

Sort of completed Posts:

>>Posted Prompt Ideas / One Shot List

>>DPxDC Family Week 2023 Post List

-> AO3 Link: DPxDC Family Week Contributions

>>Fictober23 Written Prompts List

[themaclean]

We Don't Have To Be Friends (2/2) Characters: Cooper Howard/Lucy MacLean. Summary: 4,244 words, Post Season One -- character study with porn. Warnings: Nothing you wouldn't see in the show. ( Ao3 ) > Part One | Part Two | Part Three <

If Cooper were an honorable man, he wouldn’t have yanked Lucy’s hair like that.

That thought had buried itself deep into the back of his mind as he wound and unwound the stained rag in his hand. He remained on the marked table in the corner of the hotel room, the evening air musty but quiet. Dogmeat had taken to the bathroom when they’d arrived and Lucy…

His brow twitched as he adjusted his shotgun, his thumbnail dug into the etchings on the side.

Fuckin’ Lucy.

His hand flexed at the thought of her soft hair tight in his grip.

If he were half the man he’d been before the bombs fell, he’d never have done it. Never even thought to do it.

But then she’d slung the word ‘family’ around and started making assumptions about his life. Call it gut instinct or benign cruelty, whatever you like, but he needed her to back off. He didn’t have the words to make her back down, as everything became a debate or a conversation like she needed to know every little thing.

Without words, there aren’t many options left.

He yanked her hair to make his point and shoved her away just as quickly. She hadn’t cried or shouted or done much of anything. She just gawked at him like a child who’d never been scolded, and then she shot off to the bathroom.

Lucy hadn't come out of the bathroom yet.

But then the mental math kicked in, of how the world is how it is now, and it’s hard to care much about honor. It’s that back-and-forth of how he could have done much worse and how he’d gone easy on her, really.

He flexed his fingers around the phantom ache in his palm, that whipcrack decision to push into her space. Worse yet, it wasn’t anger or frustration that spurred him on. It was the underlying hunger that held a light hand against the back of his head, pushing him towards the living.

He thought he might bite into her, to savor her, but he hadn’t.

This time, at least.

During his stint as a Hollywood heartthrob, his friends traipsed with whatever starlet they could get their talons into; Cooper loved Barb. Never strayed, never so much as looked at another woman with intent. He’d been the model husband and kept himself trained on Barb.

All for her, everything for her.

He loved her so much he'd been blind to the shit she'd helped make happen within Vault-Tec. That's its own phantom ache, how being a loving husband rippled out to the end of America as he knew it.

But he isn't in the old world. He isn't even married to Barb; he hadn't been since before the bombs dropped. Divorce, alimony, public humiliation, the loss of his status after Vault-Tec caught on that he’d heard too much.

And yet...

After two hundred years, it’s not living anymore; can’t be. You get numb to the tastes and smells of things and nothing is new anymore. There’s no novelty, no experience you haven’t had. Except in how people die, he supposed. But the day-to-day of life for two hundred years became something else a long while ago.

It's pure instinct, doing whatever you think will best serve you in the moment. Everyone you know dies, and you stop attending funerals or even sticking around long enough to see if they leave flowers for the fallen. Not really any flowers anymore, come to think of it.

With enough time, you can forget most people.

Maybe that was what made the empty thoughts so tempting -- the ones that told him to bite down on Lucy's throat and tear her apart. It wasn't like the zombie shit you see in the movies where it's a switch, where you die and come back with a hunger for brains.

That hunger guided him, even now.

“I wanted to apologize.”

Cooper’s jaw ticked to the side, his head twitched to shake out the instinct to growl. “No.” His gaze flicked up from the shotgun to Lucy’s slim silhouette in the cracked bathroom door. 

“You can’t just say no,” Lucy said with a scoff. “Look, I clearly overstepped and upset you. So, I’m sorry if I was prying or pushy. I won’t bring up — that, again.”

Cooper rested his forearms on the edge of the table. The girl had the survival instincts of a goddamn cat curled up in a wheel well in the middle of winter.

“So, I’m sorry. Do you accept my apology?”

“Y’ain’t ever let a thing lie in your life, have you, girl.”

Lucy gave a tight-lipped smile and a slight shrug as if that were a point of pride. “When you’re in a vault, it’s kind of hard to hold a grudge. You have to see people every day and depend on one another, so you — you have to talk it out.”

Cooper’s gaze rolled to the ceiling as he begged for whatever powers above to give him strength. He let the silence sit between them as he clicked his shotgun back into place and ensured a few rounds were ready to go.

He roughly scratched at his neck before he popped his hat back on. His joints clicked and cracked as he got to his feet, the day’s aches setting in. In a few long strides, he set his shotgun on the bedside table.

In all this time, he refused to look at her, even as she implored him with those wide hazel eyes.

“We’ll take shifts,” he said, flat on his back in one heavy thud. He angled his hat over his face, though he could see the door to the room if he tilted his head just right.

“You can’t go to sleep mad.”

Cooper exhaled into the hollow of his hat. “I ain’t mad.”

“You are.” Before Cooper could do much about it, she’d snatched his hat off his face. She stood beside the bed, his hat held hostage as she stared down at him. “I can tell.”

“Yeah, I’m startin’ to get mad; you’re onto something,” Cooper shoved himself onto his elbows, unhappy with her looming over him. He shifted his weight, and his legs snapped out over the edge of the bed. She didn’t have a chance to adjust, now stuck between his knees.

Lucy held his hat high as if he couldn’t stand up and take it back from her. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to have a hostage situation; I just need to know we’re okay.”

“Why’s it so fuckin’ important to you, that we be friends or — or somethin’?”

“Why’s it important..?” Lucy made a raspy noise from the back of her throat as she tried to hold the hat higher. It was pathetic to watch, in all honesty. As if it were something worth bargaining for. “Because it’s about teamwork and caring about each other. And we have to trust each other.”

“Trusting you to keep watch while I sleep is plenty enough to show I trust you,” Cooper said, his tone flat. He wasn’t sure he should trust her now, given how erratic she was being over something as petty as him accepting her apology.

“What if—“ Lucy rolled her lips between her teeth, something painful going on behind her eyes. “What if you decide you don’t need me around and leave me? Then what do I do?”

Cooper caught her hip in the flat of his palm, and his fingers dug into her cotton-clad flesh.

“It happened before, and — and don’t think I forgot how you wouldn’t give me water, and how you sold me for drugs, and — I know there’s going to be a day when we fight and you decide I’m worth more as a bartering chip than as… As someone that you care about.”

“Give me my hat back, darlin’.”

Lucy strained her arm into the air, her gaze fixed down at him. “Just, promise me you aren’t going to hold a grudge and… And that we’re a team, or co-workers, or something.”

Cooper felt his patience hit critical mass as the hand on her hip shifted her weight to pivot her onto the bed. It wasn’t hard to do, to shift his free hand to her throat as he hovered above her.

“Now, darlin’, I hate to say it, but you are bein’ five kinds of hysterical right now.” His grip on her throat wasn’t hard, with most of his weight on his knees and by her hip. His index finger toyed with the hard column of her throat, gentle enough to not hurt her.

Lucy looked strangely relieved by the shift in position. All the prey fear in her eyes had simmered down to something patient and distant. It was like she’d been waiting for him to snap, to turn back into this facet of the man she knew. All the anticipation fizzled out to a stern word and a hand on her throat.

“All I said was,” Cooper adjusted, a deep breath taken for the sake of softness. “Don’t talk about my family. Simple rule.”

Cooper could tell it took everything in her to stay quiet, given how her muscles twitched beneath his calloused fingertips.

And then things shifted around him like he hadn’t been able to see the parts for what they were. They were alone, for one, in a cheap room in a glorified brothel. It’d been weeks since he’d been in anything close to a real bed, albeit moldy and threadbare. Lucy was pressed against him, their knees notched together, one beside the other.

Cooper couldn’t think when he’d last been in this situation. It might’ve been when he still had hair or a nose. The murky haze of shapeless bodies couldn’t compete with the warm-blooded woman with frantic abandonment issues beneath him.

Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it?

Lucy had a damn complex about being abandoned again. Hard to miss a wound that he himself bore. His jaw clicked as he caught the faint smell of soap and sweat on her skin. The cavernous gap where his nose had once been couldn’t pick up much, a small mercy, but it hung in the air between them.

Maybe it was because of a human scent, something about that ghoulish instinct to track down beautiful things and shred them with his teeth.

Lucy didn’t move to push him back, and he didn’t want to move much either. She hadn’t been so quiet since he’d first sent her sprinting to the bathroom out of fear, even though she’d come crawling back with unneeded apologies.

But then he caught it — that redoubled heartbeat as she glared up at him.

Her slim shape beneath him was as fine as any steak. He'd eaten some foul corpses and torn apart bodies to survive. He'd eaten fallen friends and pets. And the longer this went on, the easier it was to commit such acts.

But this hunger wasn't so simple.

"Cooper?" Lucy exhaled, the fine shape of her sternum taut with pale skin and bone.

Cooper trailed his fingers along the bone, dismally aware of how much force it'd taken to pry open her ribs and fish out her organs. Red and gushing and filling — but not worth it. It wasn’t worth it. Cooper’s head twitched to the side as he bit down, that malicious ache for carnage twisted up with the need to bury his cock in her.

“You wanna be something, huh?” His breathing rasped like sandpaper as his fingers slid beneath the faded white button-down.

Lucy gave him a puzzled look but nodded all the same.

His palm lay flat against his tit, in search of her heartbeat. He didn't think about how his scarred skin grazed her nipple or how her rib cage twitched in response. Force of habit drew his thumb back, toying with the sensitive bundle of nerves as a half-smirk kicked the corner of his lips up.

Lucy wouldn't even look at him. Her lips were pursed tight together as she strained her head to the side like she didn't know if she should scream or moan.

It's an unfair trade, as are most in the wasteland if you’re smart.

He's rotten and falling to pieces while she's fresh from a vault. The difference in radiation alone should be enough to make him back off, but he doesn’t care much. And neither does she from how she arched into his hand, despite how angry she looked.

"Sweet thing, your heart's going a mile a minute."

Lucy widened her eyes at him, and her head snapped towards him. “You’re touching me, of course it is.”

"Barely touched you," Cooper said, not sure be cared if it was fear or arousal.

“Sex doesn’t involve this much talking normally.”

“Normally, as per the one time you fucked your husband,” Cooper said as he continued to thumb the soft flesh of her breast. She keened into each movement, not shy or unsure as he’d feared she might be.

“You just like the sound of your own voice,” Lucy said under her breath, her eyes fluttered shut. 

Cooper had to laugh, even though he didn’t much want to. If he’d known how easy it’d be to bridge the gap between traveling companions and this, he might’ve tried something sooner.

“You’re reactive,” he said with a tweak of her nipple.

“That’s so weird and gross,” Lucy stumbled over words, her voice too thin to mean what she was saying.

"You're the one who wants to fuck a monster."

"You aren't a monster."

Cooper smirked, unable to help it. "That's the part you wanna argue?" He had her on his back and at his mercy, but she still wanted to argue for his humanity.

Lucy stayed silent, glaring up at him.

Cooper grabbed her by the hip and, in one firm tug, had her cunt flush against the hard shape of his cock through his jeans. His hand snaked from her hip to the soft spot behind her knee, pushing her leg back to angle her to his liking.

"Can we..." Lucy exhaled, her question lost as his hips canted against her.

“Can we what?” Cooper pressed harder against her, his arm twisted around her thigh so he could crack open his belt. He didn’t bother beyond unfastening it, and his jeans peeled aside enough to free himself. He couldn’t hide the hiss of satisfaction as the sensitive head of his cock met the soft fabric and heat between her legs.

“Can ghouls and…” Lucy’s words continued to stick to the roof of her mouth, her eyes trailing over him in the shadows. It was better this way, in the dark, where she couldn’t make out the rough skin and frayed edges where the radiation had hardened and rotted him.

Again, his end of the bargain was far sweeter than hers. He wasn’t sweating it, of how she might recoil and pale at the sight of his mangled flesh. It wasn’t the same as when he’d been human, but the instinct to resist her certainly faded easier.

Cooper couldn't even recall a time he'd jerked himself off. The drive to bury himself in something warm and soft had faded long ago. 

It was nice to be in a room with a lock, alone, not surrounded by sand and open air. Dogmeat was asleep in the disused bathtub, with a bunch of blankets Lucy had thrown in there for her.

Nothing to interrupt, the kid down the hall -- 

No.

Like lightning, deja vu grabbed him by the throat. His face twitched as he put his mind right. There was no kid, and this wasn't his wife. It was the uppity brat from a vault, the product of every fucked part of the old world.

“Like, are we allowed to fuck?” Cooper asked, incredulous.

“No — I mean, I… For the future of humanity,” Lucy stumbled over her words. “If I got pregnant — ”

“Ain’t gonna happen,” Cooper said in a flat voice. If she was worried about some fucked up little irradiated babies, so far as Cooper knew, it wasn’t possible. 

“Oh, well, okey-dokey.”

“Okey… Jesus,” Cooper snorted.

Cooper caught the sides of her pajama pants and yanked them out of place in one firm tug. He caught her calves and set her legs over one shoulder, a hand on her ankle while the other settled on the bed beside her. From the look on her face, she was curious to see how this worked — whatever they’d been taught in the vault mustn’t go further than missionary.

In an act of pity or chivalry, he slid back, his eyes narrowed up at her. Some fucking gentleman he had to be to give a fuck, even now when she had no idea what she was after. Not really, not beyond the act of repopulating the Wastes. He hitched her thighs over his shoulders, tongue and radiation-thinned lips flush against her wet cunt.

So much wetter than she should be, given they’d done little more than grind for a few moments. He rattled out a growl from low in his throat, unable to really taste her but wishing that he could. Scent and taste were long-dead, but he’d catch moments of it, faintly, and he was buried between her folds now.

His fingers slid along where his tongue teased, and his gaze fixed up at her. She couldn’t stay still, writhing and desperate, and her pajama shirt pried free now. The slight swell of her breasts and the sharp jut of her jawline were all he could make out as he did his best to get revenge on the fucks in room five who couldn’t stop screaming.

Cooper dipped back, tonguing his lips as she twitched and tensed. “Can feel you holding back.”

“It’s — I can’t, it’s too much.”

His hand stilled. “Should I — ”

“No,” Lucy caught his head, her fingers skating over his leathery scalp. “Please don’t stop.”

“Then you stop holding back,” he said, his fingers curled inside her. “Make a mess of it, ain’t our fuckin’ bed.”

Lucy looked horrified, but Cooper didn’t stop. He kept the same pace, his fingers thudding against that spot that made her tense and shove at him. If he pulled back, she’d drag him close again. His name fumbled past her lips here and there, like she was mad at him, and he just worked her harder.

And then her thighs snapped and near cracked his damn head off, her back arched against the bed, and a desperately wet patch formed beneath his chin between them. He couldn’t hide the shit-eating smirk as he rested his cheek against her thigh, a rumbling noise of satisfaction that some things couldn’t leave you.

Cooper didn’t leave her a chance to recover, owing to the heavy throb at every little noise she made. His cock damn near hurt, and there wasn’t much he could do about it.

Well.

It took a moment, but he had her thighs settled around his hips as he kept it simple for her sake. It stopped being about sex or need and became something even more abstract, that hot ache for warmth and to be inside her. She whimpered with that dazed, empty-faced bliss as he caught her behind the knees. His ruined, rough hands had no place near her pristine vault-grown flesh.

And yet he had his ex-wife to thank — much obliged Barb, you fuckin’ snake. It’s a lashing thought he bit back, that constant push between loving the woman and hating what she’d done. But this was simpler, a pretty young thing slick and waiting for whatever he sought to do with her.

All the times he could have done this shit back when the world was whole. But he never would have. Not back then.

Now…

That lead-weight heat in his stomach spurred him on; a few shallows thrusts were all he could manage before he buried himself inside her. It was such a bone-deep satisfaction he couldn't recall why it'd been so long.

But then he was face to face with her, that pretty, doe-eyed shock as she played catch up with him. He caught her cheeks between his finger and thumb, pushing her head back and pouting her lips.

"This what that vault of yours taught you? Lay back and think of America?"

“It was — our duty…” 

“To get fucked?” Cooper couldn’t help but laugh, each long, slow thrust, another scratch to an impossible itch. “Bet your daddy will be real proud when he finds out you fucked a ghoul.”

Lucy mumbled in protest, her fingers digging into his forearm’s patchy flesh. She kept pace with his thrusts, the bruising bite of his fingers on her hips. His other hand remained on her face to keep her looking at him as he bore down.

Their room quickly became guttural noises, his exertion an undercurrent to her yelps and pleading noises. She clawed at his hand, the one that was keeping her honest and facing him. She didn't get to look away and pretend this was some other man fucking her.

Lucy fought against his grip, stuck between glaring and panting. The orgasm she’d squirmed through before and broken to had her dazed and gentle like she was on cloud nine. But the slow increase of pace and pressure had her writhing again like when he’d had his tongue and fingers deep inside her.

Cooper slid his hand lower, his grip fastened to her throat. He gave a few shallow thrusts before he set into a steady rhythm, focused on how damn good he felt. The tighter he pinched the sides of her neck, the tighter she got. That slick flutter of her cunt out of fear and adrenaline, of whether he'd let the blood go back to her head or not...

He really could do any number of terrible things to her, and no one would know. But she came to this seedy hotel room and lazed around and trusted him like the fucking moron she is. And he clung to what thin shred of honor he had to not hurt her beyond what she might enjoy.

It isn’t some big, beautiful moment where they rode out a climax together — it’s far messier, the juts of his hips all the warning he got as he cracked his hips closer to hers. And then there was that tug low in his stomach, the jitters in his pelvis so desperate he couldn’t catch it.

Cooper tucked his head against her neck, his teeth buried into her shoulder as he came. His fingers dug deep into the mattress, a heinous growl between gnashing teeth. They’d stopped the banter long ago, probably due to his comment about her dad — he didn’t care much. He appreciated the silence.

But she was breathing, long and soft, and his teeth were still buried in her shoulder. He couldn’t breathe as easily, a rasping, rolling sound from low in his throat. He swallowed a few times and coughed out of habit.

“You need your meds,” Lucy said, her voice drifting and gentle.

For a moment, he wanted to let go all the way. But he left it at the deep bruise on her shoulder, that crescent of teeth swelling from the pressure. He thumbed the mark and drew back, dressed enough that he was able to tuck himself away in a moment, ready to run or fight if needed.

Lucy…

Cooper coughed into the crushed shape of his fist, her body marked with his grip on her hip, her leg, and her throat. He didn’t feel anything at that, no pride, no guilt. He couldn’t even muster that satisfaction of seeing a naked woman.

Lucy’s hand dipped between her thighs, her fingers tested against herself. He’d come inside her and hadn’t really thought to pull out or ask. Another cough caught him off-guard; his mind shifted to the RadAway in his pack.

“It’s a shame,” Lucy said, a distance in her gaze. “That you couldn’t get me pregnant, even if you wanted to. I feel like you’d be a good dad.”

Cooper had no idea what to say to that.

“I’ll take the first watch,” Lucy said as she moved to get dressed. She didn’t meet his eye but didn’t seem angry.

Cooper strode over to her, his hand on her cheek and his thumb on her bottom lip. He met her eye for a long moment. He bent down to place a kiss as gently as he could manage on her forehead, the cavity of his nose bumping against the top of her head.

Lucy bounced up to peck him on the lips, so chaste you wouldn’t believe he’d just fucked her into the mattress. She smiled that same empty-eyed Hollywood smile. She touched his cheek, her thumb brushed against the hollow of his cheek and over his hairless brow.

“You aren’t mad at me anymore, right?”

“No,” Cooper said, unwilling to get back into it.

“Good.”

There isn’t any room to cuddle, not that he’d want to. Not that she would want to, either. He can’t quite make out what happened between them. But it seemed like it’d put Lucy’s mind at ease, that he wouldn’t turn on his heel and leave. Maybe this was the ‘something’ she needed from him.

Just something that they shared, something deeper than a shared destination.

Just, something.

[nocasdatsgay]

So Where Do I Start?

Pairing: Eris x F-Reader | Rating: E 🌶️| Eris POV

Word count: 2256 | one-shot | Read on Ao3

Summary: You aren’t fully comfortable with your post baby body and Eris is not having it.

CW: an off screen baby, post baby body, insecurities, sex

A/N: I’ve never had a baby but I do have body issues 😂 there is also a part where Eris thinks about how much he basically missed the intimacy- don’t misconstrue it as him needing sex. I worried when I wrote that. If enough ppl like it I’ll post it on ao3 🫣 I put it on ao3

No tag list for this one cause I don’t want to subject ppl to baby content if they don’t want it 🫣

Eris had been flirting with you all day. You’d asked around lunch what had gotten into him and honestly he didn’t have an answer. Maybe it was the fact you’d both gotten decent sleep, your babe finally being at a point where they could sleep through the night. Maybe it was the fact things had slowed down for him, having finally caught up with paperwork and meetings now that he’d returned to focusing on high lord duties after the weeks spent helping with the baby.

Or maybe he just loved you. Which was nothing new.

Of course when you both got into bed, he couldn’t keep his hands off you. Soft kisses deepened and he pushed up your nightshirt, determined to pull it off but you shoved at his hand. He pulled away immediately, looking down at you with furrowed brows.

“Do you want me to stop?” He whispered. Gods, it felt like it might kill him but he’d do it.

“No.” You didn’t look him in the eyes. “I just, I don’t want,” your voice trailed.

“That’s not exactly reassuring.”

Your gaze met his. You frowned at him. He frowned back. He tried to think of what was bothering you. It had been a few months. Recovery from birth was one of the longer healing processes even in high fae. It was highly possible you weren’t ready despite Edith stating you’d healed up perfectly a month ago. Just because you were cleared didn’t mean you were ready.

“I can wait,” he added. “I am more than happy just keep kissing you.”

“No.” Your eyes widened. “No, I want you. I do. I just. Maybe just leave my shirt on?”

He frowned again. “My love, we talked about this.”

And you both had. He noticed immediately when you started staring too long in the mirror and when you changed up your style of clothing. It took him weeks to convince you to bath with him again, to let him see you fully nude in a neutral setting.

“I know, but this is different.”

“How is it different?” He chuckled and you pouted at him. He sent his love through the bond hoping you’d forgive him for laughing.

“What if- I just don’t think I can handle it if, you know.” You bit your lip and looked away.

“If what?”

“If you- gods Eris you’re such an ass, don’t make me say it.” He grinned at you and it only flustered you more. “What if I kill your mood?”

He blinked, his own eyebrows raised up. “As if you haven’t smacked me several times already in the past month because I have gotten handsy in the bath.”

“That was different,” you protested. “You were just playing.”

He let his voice drop low and put his hand back on your shirt when he replied. “I never play with how much I want you.” He could smell your arousal spike back up. He made sure to lower hand and trace his fingers on your thigh. “Let me show you. If you still don’t believe me then we’ll stop and I’ll go to sleep in the study. Do we have a deal, my fire?”

“Gods you don’t play fair,” you said breathlessly.

“Whatever do you mean?”

He’d already distracted you enough to get his hand farther up your thigh, the shirt inching up with it. He reached your hip, his fingers running over your infernal underwear.

“Can I?” He asked, hooking a finger on the band.

“I don’t know. Can you?” You smarted back.

He looked you straight in the eyes when he replied, “I can and I will.” Then he set your underwear on fire, ensuring it only burned the fabric away and not your skin.

“Eris!” You yelled and pushed up the bed in shock.

“Hush, you’ll wake the baby, love,” he chuckled and used his magic to clear away the ash.

“You set my underwear on fire.” You hissed.

“I did. And I’m about to set that shirt aflame as well if you don’t let me take it off you.” He grinned.

“Fine. But if you can’t get it up, I am cutting your cock off and stuffing it down your throat. Then I’m murdering you.” You hissed and tugged up the nightshirt to pull it over your head.

“I love it when you're feisty.” He purred, his eyes immediately wandering down your body as you tossed the shirt off to the floor. “Where would you like me to start?”

“Start?”

You tried to cover yourself but he was not having it. He crawled over you, grabbing and pinning your arms by your head. He watched in real time your pupils dilate, your eyes going near black.

“I said I would show you how much I want you,” he leaned in and brushed his nose against your own. “So where do I start?”

For once he’d rendered you speechless. Good. He didn’t need you arguing with him when your opinions were clearly wrong. Especially when he let you go and sat up to look you over again. The mother truly blessed him by putting you in his path. He made sure to push that down the bond and smirked at your cheeks darkening.

“I know these are the babe’s favorites.” He whispered. He traced a finger around your breast. “It’s wrong of me to say this but I do enjoy it when you pull my hands up your top.”

“Eris,” you hissed.

“It’s true.” He grinned. “You get my warm hands pressed against your sore breasts and I get to hold you.” You blinked at that confession. “My mate, did you think I had nefarious reasons?”

“I thought you just liked to touch my breasts.”

He shrugged, “what is that phrase my brothers keep spewing when they cheat at cards? A win is in fact still a win?”

You rolled your eyes. He continued moving his finger down your sternum and traced around your stomach. You frowned.

“Despite how you feel, I do love how soft you are now.” His fingers moved around to your side and traced your hip. “And how wide your hips are now.”

“I don’t. I had to buy a whole new wardrobe. That was expensive.”

You then yelped and jolted as he moved over you, putting one leg between your thighs to wedge him apart.

“As if I care about the cost. These hips carried our baby.”

He leaned in and kissed the valley between your breasts. His left hand cupped your right breast when he kissed down your chest again. He could feel you relax under him and grinned against your stomach. He maneuvered himself so he could switch and cup your other one against his heated palm.

“I swear that’s all you're good for,” you teased, placing your hand on top of his. “Male hot stone.”

He slid down further and nipped his teeth at the skin above your belly button and he felt you tense again. He knew you hated how soft your stomach was and how the skin there was still recovering from being stretched to accommodate your child. He’d spend the rest of his life convincing you it was a blessing if he had to. Because it was.

“This beautiful belly of yours,” he kissed your stomach, “made our perfect babe. That was all you, my fire.”

“I know.” You didn’t sound convinced.

Eris knew it would take time. Even if he was impatient, he wouldn’t argue with you. He learned a long time ago that only made you stand firm in your thoughts. Instead he pressed more open mouth kisses along your stomach, pulling his hands away to loop his arms under your thighs. He didn’t miss the way you gasped or how your scent sweetened. He definitely didn’t miss the humming want you were pushing in through the bond. He rolled his hips into the bed like a fuckin youth just to relieve his own tension.

He wasted no more time, eager to get his mouth between your legs. He pulled your legs apart and peppered kisses on the inside of your thighs. You were still tense; something he had not encountered since the first time you were together. Despite your apprehension, you were still wet for him. He tried not to be smug as he put his mouth on you and your body relaxed in his hold.

He moaned as he licked up your center, your taste and smell overwhelming him in the best way. It was almost muscle memory, his tongue moving against your already swollen nub in a way that had you grabbing him by his hair. And by the cauldron, did he miss your hands in his hair.

Eris had planned to take his time. Take you apart slowly and remind you how much he loved you. Your body had other plans. You rolled your hips against his face, and he sucked and licked harder. He didn’t even get his fingers in you before you moaned and arched on the bed.

“Fuck,” you muttered as you came, panting and yanking his hair as he worked you through it. You had enough when you pulled him up.

He laughed. “That’s a record.”

“Is it?” You were still gasping.

“You really know how to stroke a male’s ego.” He sat up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Maybe we should take breaks more often.”

“Insufferable.” You muttered.

“I’m about to be even more insufferable,” he said with a sly tone.

He made certain you were looking when he rolled his pants down, his length springing free and curving up on his stomach.

“Still doubt me?” He smirked and stroked himself.

You groaned. “Fine, I believe you.” Despite your tone you gave him a loving look. “Now hush and come fuck me.”

Eris kicked off his pants and crawled over you. There were no words exchanged as your legs fell open and he seemed to settle in place with ease. You gasped when he reached in between you both to guide himself into your slick heat. He groaned almost too loud when he bottomed out into you and stilled.

By The Mother he missed this. Being so close to you; being physically connected to you. The bond between you both tight, filled with love and passion. He laid there for a moment to savor it. He kissed you deeply and used his hand to bring your leg up farther on his waist.

He pulled away and leaned his forehead to yours. “I swear I’d put another baby in you right now if Edith wouldn’t kill me.”

“I think I would kill you.” Your tone was amused rather than annoyed, thankfully.

“And what sweet death it would be,” he muttered.

He kissed you again and propped himself up on one of his arms. The shift alone felt like lightning shooting up his spine. He realized at that moment he shouldn’t have laughed at you for coming apart so quickly. Eris groaned and cursed when he rocked his hips.

“Know how to stroke a female’s ego.” Your laughter faded into a moan; Eris thrusted into you a little harder.

You were both mostly silent after that. Eris’s mouth was preoccupied with kissing every inch of your face and chest he could reach. You were biting your lip when he wasn’t kissing you so you wouldn’t get vocal and wake the baby. He could feel you plateau through the bond, both of you just enjoying the feeling of being together in this way again.

He finally moved up and put your leg up over his shoulder to let him dive into you harder. You sighed and he felt your pleasure spike through the bond. He tried to not be smug about it. He reached his hand between you and rubbed his thumb gently in time with his thrusts. He grinned at how you mewled.

“Can you come for me again, love?” You nodded. He was close himself, his breathing haggard. “Will you do that for me? Come with me.”

It took a few moments before you arched off the bed again and flooded the bond with your pleasure. He groaned coming right behind you, but not stopping until you stopped pulsing around him. He dropped your leg and damn near collapsed on top of you.

Eris pushed himself off you with a groan, still catching his breath. “I think I need to start training again.”

“Overwork yourself?” You giggled “I think that’s just your age showing.”

Eris bit back a retort. After a moment he reluctantly moved off the bed and muttered he would get you a towel. Sleepiness was creeping into his bones while he cleaned himself off and wet a hand towel for you. He grabbed his pants off the floor where he tossed them and before he returned to bed, he peered into the nursery. Your babe was still fast asleep.

It seemed you were also sleepy when he crept up to the bed and saw your eyes closed. He made sure to heat the towel with his hand before maneuvering it between your legs and cleaning up the mess he made. You inhaled sharply but only blinked at him. He incinerated it once he was done.

“You’re so dramatic,” you grumbled at him.

“But you love me,” he said and leaned in and kissed you again before crawling into bed.

“That I do,” you muttered and scooted over to him so you could cuddle until you both fell asleep.

[litnerdwrites]

Justice for Nesta recs (AO3)

Most, if not all, of these recs are in the Justice for Nesta/ ACOSF rewrite/fix-it vein. It will be updates as I find more fics, but feel free to send any recs you have.

TRIGGER WARNING! Many of these fics will be very dark, with references to suicide, ptsd, misogyny, and IC BS. However, I'll be sure to add specifics where applicable.

Fics For Those Craving Nesta JusticeI put all the fics I found into one collection on AO3 that, as the title suggests, are for those craving Nesta Justice. Please read the relevant tags for each fic, as many of them contain reference to PTSD, SA (both past referenced and in story), and general IC BS.

I'll also list every fic in this collection bellow, just to keep them all in one place. Feel free to also add your own finds or works if you have any. The collection is open, but moderated.

Those the Stars Cannot Hear by @kataraavatara An ACOSF rewrite where Mor makes good on her threat to leave Nesta in the CON.

Baby, now we got bad blood by Pumpkinspice_Lou They say you should never come between a male and his mate. Rhysand should've known better. Aka Cassian finally choosing Nesta. Completed two-shot.

A Court of Vice and Victors by Wishcamper Acosf rewritten by a therapist. Need I say more? Incomplete.

You Made Her Like That By BookWorm77071 A few days into their Hike from Hell, Nesta is able to form one coherent thought: I don't want to do this anymore. So she stops. Three chapter short story. Completed.

Nesta becomes a baby by Theladyofbloodshed Exactly what the title says. Oneshot.

A Court of Tangled Flames by Theladyofbloodshed A Neris fic where Nesta gets the love story she deserves.

ACOTAR snippet collection by Theladyofbloodshed A collection of Acotar what ifs.

Nesta vs. The Buffer by Theladyofbloodshed After Nesta finally snaps at another 'family' dinner, calling Cassian and Mor out on their shit, she begins to heal and fall in love on her own terms. With a certain shadowsinger. Completed. Nezriel fic. Anti IC but they kind of redeem themselves at the end. Completed.

AU Where We Pretend Acosf Didn't Happen by Theladyofbloodshed An alternative take to ACOSF, starting from post ACOFS. Nesta ends up leaving Velaris, starting herself on a journey of self discovery and healing. TW Beron Vansera, implied/referenced SA, IC being assholes.

Nightmare Dressed Like A Daydream by This_Immortal_Hope Nesta was a wolf. So, much like a wolf, she bided her time, accepting her exile with ice in her and determination in her heart. When she was ready, she tore their Court of Dreams apart with their own hypocrisy. One shot. No ship. Rhysand is thoroughly put in his place. Oneshot.

Second Chances by miryamdev Cassian apologises to Nesta after the HOFAS bonus chapter.

A trick of the light by closet_monster There was nothing condemning about madness or paralyzing fear. Nesta was familiar with both — they seemed to be a recurring theme in both womanhood and life in Hewn. Oneshot. TW Depression, self harm, and implied abuse. Please double check the tags before reading.

Burn for Eternity by rosemai Nesta is defeated and broken down by the words of her sisters and the IC, so she takes matters into her own hands and meets a group on individuals who could give her the help she needs. Incomplete.

Nesta's Truth by grovellingboyfriends After another year of leaving Nesta alone, Cassian finds Nesta in her apartment on Solstice, standing over a dead man. TW for implied SA, parental abuse, Elain is a bitch. 3/5 chapters published as of making this post.

Daylight by Flowerflamestar Nesta Archeron, banished and betrayed, ran from cold and hatred straight into the light of Day and found a place where she could belong. Completed.

Might I Suggest You Don't Fuck With My Sis by MacabreGiggles The intervention rethought, where the Archeron sisters decide to stand up for one another and put the IC in their place. Incomplete.

I died. I will die. It's alright. I don't mind. By MacabreGiggles Nesta resorts to other means to cope, like drugs. Incomplete. TW. Abuse. Alcolism. Suicide. Sexual assault. Drug abuse.

The Veil of Silence by Hrizantemy There exists a veil of silence, it shrouds our voices masking our truths, muffling our cries, our voices are muted, and dreams whispered. Incomplete.

You're a crisis of my faith by porque_nolosdos Nesta and Elain leave the NC, and upon seeing the IC's reaction, Feyre decides to ditch them too. Incomplete.

A thousand cuts by adelindschade It finally clicks for Cassian just how badly Nesta was hurting (it only took three TW suicide TW attempts), so he decides to try thinking of what Nesta would want. This decision leaves a ripple effect that will change the NC as we know it. Incomplete.

The consequences of normality by TheTeaQueen After the events of ACOSF, things seem relatively normal. Until Cassian realises that Nesta doesn't ask for things, or that self hatred still grips her, or the facade she puts on for her family. When she starts cutting back on training and work in the library, he begins to worry. Maybe things aren't as perfect as he thought. Maybe their methods in helping her weren't as effective as he thought. Incomplete.

Three little words by TheTeaQueen Cassian finally says those three little words that Nesta needed to hear. Oneshot.

Like fire, she raged by TheTeaQueen Emerie stands up for Nesta and puts Rhys and Feyre in their place. Completed.

Of Death and Resurrection by TheTeaQueen Part 1 of In the name of healing and happiness. Nesta was ready to die. So to save Feyre and Nyx, she did. Can Rhysand, the only person who can save her, bring her back from the brink? Completed. TW Implied suicide, rape/sa, anti Elain.

Of Shadows and Light by TheTeaQueen Part 2 of In the name of healing and happiness. Technically more of a Gwynriel fic, but does have some Nessian since it follows the aftermath of Of death and Resurrection, only Azriel, Gwyn & Elain are the main focus. Ties up a lose thread or two from part 1, and is 100% Anti Elain. Completed. TW Implied child abuse, implied suicide, torture.

Of Reopened Wounds and Retribution by TheTeaQueen Part 3 of In the name of healing and happiness. A trip to the human lands to discuss the treaty leads Nesta to face Thomas Mandray again. This time, she has family willing to go to hell and back for her. Incomplete. TW Implied rape/sa, panic attack.

Lady Death and Her Kingdom by TheTeaQueen Amren pushes Nesta too far, causing her to awaken a strange new power. TW Implied child abuse. Incomplete.

The Hike, Alternatively by TheTeaQueen An alternative take on The Hike from Hell, where Nesta attempt to TW commit suicide TW, and Cassian realises just how messed up their methods, and the events leading up to the hike are. Written for Suicide prevention month. Completed. TW Self harm, suicide, The Hike.

To Pay a Debt by TheTeaQueen When Nesta sees that Feyre didn't include her in any of the paintings, she does the only thing she can think of; Run. Incomplete. TW, attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts, mentioned sa.

Burning from the Inside out by TheTeaQueen An au where Nesta's secretly lived with Chronic pain her whole life, only for the cauldron and her new powers to exacerbate it. Complete. TW Implied/referenced child abuse, suicidal thoughts, ableism, internalised ableism.

The Whole Truth by TheTeaQueen An alternative take where Nesta's deepest secret comes to light when Elain explodes at the dinner table one night. This forces the IC and her sisters to reevaluate their perception of her. Incomplete. TW: Child abuse, suicidal thoughts/ideation, forced prostitution, sexual assault (underage!!)

Set my Soul Alight by moodymelanist Nesta finds solace in Autumn. No Nessian. Completed. TW Implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced rape, implied/referenced torture.

Falling by becauseofreading Another take on what happens after Cassian tells Nesta that everybody hates her. Incomplete. TW Self harm, suicidal thoughts, blood and injuries.

Destruction and Renewal by Vorbi Nesta is given the opportunity to form new alliances. Initially, she scoffs at the idea, but after a small, final act of disrespect from the IC, she decides to see where this new path leads us. Incomplete. TW Implied/referenced abuse.

No One Likes A Mad Woman by Separatist_Apologist You made her like that. Nesta has had her choices tripped away, so when Eris offers her an out, she takes it. No happy ending for Cassian. The Night Court gets no sympathy. Completed. TW Domestic violence

A Cup of Tea by shaziskhalid After realising that the Cassian of her dreams isn't the Cassian she's mated to, everything changed. (MCU! Wanda, modern Au). Incomplete.

Promise by Daughterofthesea Begins during that scene where Cassian follows Nesta, and ends with him understanding just how much pain she's in, and deciding to actually help her.

Stay here (I love you, but I need another year) by littleplease Nesta is tired, and losing the will to even try. Complete. TW Apathy, depression, vuage suicidal thoughts.

What you did to me (I'll spend my life trying to rise) by filthymouthedslut Nesta is done with the IC's holier-than-thou attitude. No ship. Incomplete (3/4) as of updating this post.

Everybody hates you by Booksandsushi A different take on the time Cassian tells Nesta that Everybody hates her. Incomplete.

Change is good by Booksandsushi Nesta figures her life out on her own. Complete.

Truth of the Heart By TheFreakPanda The months after ACOFAS leave Nesta presented with some new opportunities. Full of therapy and dancing. Completed.

I've Always Liked to Play with Fire by catalyste After her village is destroyed and family killed by Hybern following Feyre's revenge mission, you wake up healed in the NC. After Lucien leaves you there, you find yourself trapped with Nesta Archeron, who turns out to be an unlikely ally. The two of you plan your escape with the help of Eris Vansera. Polly, Neris/reader, with IC bashing, and dragons. Incomplete.

The relapse by Janes_Melodies Something broke in Nesta when she learned about the results of the vote, knowing it was a tie until Feyre. She was trying for her sisters and for Cassian, yet they still think she's cruel enough to create a whole new trove just to kill them all. For the first time in months, she gave into her desires. Incomplete. TW Alcoholism, Implied/referenced self harm, suicidal thoughts.

You're safe now by annieleonhardtsring Rewrite of the scene where Nesta falls down the stairs, and Azriel stands up for her. Complete.

Love her how she should be loved by julemmaes Cassian overhears his family making some not-so-subtle comments about Nesta, and it pushes him over the edge. So he goes to bat for her, blaming his friends for everything wrong with their relationship with his girlfriend. Modern AU completed.

The Nest World - The Next Life by bat_called_phil ACOSF canon divergence fic that starts with the intervention, but diverts when Nesta takes a stand for herself, and Feyre starts holding Rhys accountable. TW Implied/referenced suicide, Implied/referenced abortion.

A Court of Spite and Isolation by xxTAO Nesta choses the human lands, separated from the IC and the distractions from her trauma, she spirals. Incomplete (4/6) TW Suicidal thoughts, Implied/referenced alcoholism, Suicide attempt.

Come Home by Rhysanoodle Cassian learns how Nesta's been living since she came to Illyria, and which fears haunt her the most. Complete.

[missmonsters2]

Mirror, Mirror | Six: Epilogue

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

PART FIVE

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: You never really thought about Wanda other than the fact that she's your best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. It just wasn't in the realm of possibilites, so you never let yourself develop feelings. At least until someone points out that you have a very specific type when it comes to dating, so maybe it is all subconscious? Reader's POV

Warnings: best friends to lovers. shenanigans. jealousy, jealousy. sexual tension. pining. yearning. sexual thoughts. spicy (tumblr's version). stupid steve. neurotic nat. brat & stinky. bug as in shutterbug.

*explicit version will only be available on Ao3 & will be posted there after series is completed*

Note: Mini Series is completed! Thank you so much for tagging along with me <3 Explicit version available in a week.

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Series Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3

Count: ~3.1k

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You rarely think about sentences that could change your life.

There are too many instances that could change your life; therefore, it would be moot to think about.

You have a terminal illness. 

You've won 69 million dollars.

Someone you love has horrifically died—no, there were no remains.

It's all too overwhelming to think about; therefore, you don't. Yet, somehow, if you ever did think about life-changing sentences, you didn't think it could ever be, "Hey, have you noticed how you seem to exclusively date girls who look like Wanda?"

And it was like the ground crumbled underneath you. It was such a sickening realization—not that Wanda was in any way sickening—it was the fact that you might just be subconsciously a pervert. 

The more you thought about the words, the more horrifying it became. Every one-night stand, every situationship, every girlfriend—god, they all looked like Wanda. 

You're too scared to think about it deeper in fear of what it would reveal subconsciously every time you kissed or fucked a girl. Were you thinking of Wanda? God, you just couldn't think about it.

This was all Bucky's fault. You wished you had never gone out onto that balcony that night. 

3 months prior to that night at the bar with Wanda & Steve

The cool air felt better, and the breeze settled on the back of your neck. There was definitely too much wine going around, and you only managed to escape as Tony brought out the hard liquor. 

The crowd dispersed after several shots you didn't partake in. You stared into the distance, thinking idly how Tony had way too much money. Old money was ridiculous. Why does someone need a garden fountain as big as a pool?

Movement caught the corner of your eye, and you saw Wanda and Vision walking through the dimly lit garden. You smiled fondly at your best friend as she laughed at whatever charming thing Vision had managed to say. 

Vision was...just okay, in your opinion. You thought he was too nonchalant about Wanda, and that was why they were so on and off rather than consistently being together. Wanda deserved someone who loved her fiercely, and you couldn't imagine Vision always putting Wanda first. 

You watched with slight melancholy when Wanda linked her arms through his as they sat on the ledge of the garden fountain. You wished you had also brought someone along for this party. 

"Hey, thought I saw you sneak out here."

You turned around and saw Bucky holding a glass of beer. You smirked at him with mirth. "You know what I must do when Tony starts bringing out the grey goose."

Bucky shuddered, clearly having been roped into a few shots. He came and stood next to you, catching the scene you were staring at. "Guess they're back on then?"

You shrugged. "Guess so. We'll see how long it lasts. I'm betting 3 months."

"Be realistic. It'll be 2 and a half months," Bucky snorted. 

"Ye of little faith," you teased and then sighed. "I wish I also brought someone along. I should've brought that girl I met at my photoshoot."

"The brunette with green eyes?" Bucky asked, and you nod. "You know what I've noticed?"

"Hm?" you hummed in response to Bucky's casual tone. 

"You seem to have a very specific type when it comes to dating," Bucky mused. "They're always brunette—save those two girls from university—and they always have green eyes." 

You furrow your brows in serious thought. "I suppose so."

"Yeah," Bucky nodded, his tone still casual. "They always remind me of Wanda, especially from the back. I always have to make sure I'm careful not to mix up your date with Wanda." 

Bucky ended it with a chuckle, stating he was getting cold before he left without another world, leaving you alone outside.

The connect dots snapped into place almost instantly, horrifying you as you continued to stare at Wanda from above. 

Oh, fuck. 

Maybe it was a good thing you didn't bring anyone tonight. You're not sure how you'd be able to take someone home into your bed with the daunting realization you go after girls who look like your best friend...because you actually want your best friend. 

The three months since that discovery had nearly driven you to insanity. Since you refused to talk to anyone about it, most of your thought process was, " Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no."

But in the end, you resolved that it couldn't happen. Wanda would never reciprocate your feelings in a million years, especially since she had Vision. Wanda occasionally even talked about the possibility of marrying him down the road. 

It wasn't happening. It was never going to happen. 

Wanda was more important to you than anyone in the whole entire world. You would never allow anything to risk the friendship—even your feelings. 

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You felt like a sick sexual deviant. 

Despite your resolve to bury your feelings and continue on as normal, it was getting increasingly weird to continue to see girls who looked like Wanda. Yet, you couldn't stop. It wasn't doing it for you otherwise. 

But now, every time you kissed a girl, all you could see was Wanda in her. Sex was beginning to become a guilty pleasure for all the wrong reasons. 

When you met Raye, it felt like another sinful thing to lust after, knowing how much she physically reminded you of Wanda. But you could see a big personality difference in the short time you spent chatting with Raye. 

Wanda was the type you spoiled, indulging in her strange, wacky ideas. She could be very emotional, swinging from one side of the spectrum to another. She had such a big heart, willing to love, but also held grudges and was wicked if crossed. Wanda was a brat in all the loving ways you could mean. 

Raye could be best described as emotionally consistent. On the surface, she portrayed a wicked sense of humor and was fun to be around, but she was much more guarded than Wanda. She was very independent, not liking anything that might even intrude on her freedom. Raye kept her true feelings close to herself and seemed to be teasing you to come find out. 

It was different. You didn't mind, maybe liking it even (purely in the sense it was the opposite of Wanda, and you couldn't afford to keep lusting after your best friend in all possible ways).

Even so, your mind was distracted on the first date.

"Have you ever done a boudoir photoshoot?" Raye asks, her tone low and seductive.

"Can't say that I have," you smile, trying to remind yourself to be present during the date. It's been long since you've properly wined and dined someone, and Wanda kept entering your thoughts. 

"Well, there's a first for everything and you might even have a willing model," Raye bit her bottom lip suggestively, her index finger stroking the back of your hand. 

And while the southern twang does stir something in you, and you feel your stomach tingling, you're very aware that it's because Raye physically reminds you of Wanda. So, your mind traitorously imagines Wanda biting her lip and saying seductive things to you. 

"THEY WOULD NEVER—"

You whip your head around, swearing you heard Wanda. When there was no sign of her, you furrowed your brows in confusion, turning back to Raye.

Was this a sign of insanity?

You resolve right then and there to focus on the lovely brunette before you and enjoy the date. It was easy enough if you relaxed and earnestly asked Raye questions about herself. 

It was easy enough to hold Raye's hand and swing it back and forth if you just thought about how warm they were. 

It was enough to giggle when Raye leaned in closer to whisper something silly or naughty in your ear if you just thought about how her breath felt on the shell of your ear.

Suddenly, the car next to you went off, the alarm beeping loudly enough to make you and Raye jump in surprise. You turned around and noticed the couple behind you were gone. You thought they looked slightly familiar, but it was too difficult to determine when they were so far away in the dark under passing streetlights. 

Ultimately, you walk Raye up her steps, unsure what you want your next move to be. Everything feels strange since the revelation. You feel guilty for your lust, but specifically what causes it. 

But when Raye pulled you in for a hot, searing kiss, you decided to just go with the flow...which also ended up being nothing as she got a call from her sister while clothes were discarded. 

The call was only bordering on 40 seconds, but you decided your momentum was lost, and you needed that momentum to have sex with someone else while you tried (unsuccessfully) to not think about Wanda. 

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Fuck. Darcy.

Those were the only words that could come to your mind after Wanda texted her vague answer about whether or not she was returning home tonight. 

You sighed as you scrolled through the videos and photos, trying to get a headstart on putting together the video for Tony and Pepper. As you began opening up files, many were corrupted by the inability to open or glitchy images. 

With another sigh, your chair scraped against the floor as you shifted back, pulling out your phone and shooting a quick text to the videographer asking if you could meet up tomorrow to get the SD card for the originals. You got a prompt reply with a thumbs-up emoji with a time and place. 

You thought you might've just heard something shuffle in your room, but you forget about it when it's quiet again.

In the end, you spent another 45 minutes scrolling through some other photos that weren't corrupted, catching Wanda in the background and staring with a lingering thought about how absolutely pretty she was.

A part of you was in disbelief that Wanda was interested in women. You had so many questions that still lingered, but you didn't want to push Wanda or make it seem like you were interrogating her, and she needed to prove it.  

Still, you wondered what exactly made Wanda come to terms with the fact that she liked women.

Specifically, why couldn't you be the reason she was interested in women? You shoved those forbidden feelings down, beating them back into its box to put away. 

It didn't matter. 

It shouldn't matter.

You're with Raye, and Wanda may be with Darcy. Or some other girl, or maybe even with a guy again.

It's just not going to be you. 

And that's okay, you tell yourself. You can love someone without having to pursue anything. You just want to be there for Wanda. 

Of course, all of this changed the moment you watched a slanted confession video from an unaware Wanda while your roommate was out for lunch with a client.

Shock is the only thing that registers upon the video finishing. Were you hallucinating again? Was this like the first date with Raye where you kept thinking you could hear or see glimpses of Wanda?

But you played the video over and over, blinking every time it was finished.

Then a burst of strange laughter bubbled from your mouth, and then horror dawned on you that, 'oh, fuck. She actually feels the same way.'

It was unclear whether or not Wanda was trying to let her feelings be known or if she was also facing the same issue as you, where she was suppressing them. Either way, Wanda would unlikely be brave enough to say anything soon. 

You spent the week humming and hawing about what pursuing a relationship with your best friend would mean. What would the consequences be if things didn't work out? What would the consequences be if you declined to pursue anything more despite if Wanda confessed? What would the consequences be to watch Wanda move on and love someone else?

Your stomach dropped. 

You needed to break up with Raye. 

Your stomach dropped. 

You wait 3 more days before confronting Wanda since she's clearly a chicken.

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"You knew you had feelings for me for at least 3 months?" Wanda screeches. "And you said nothing?!"

"Okay, relax, you banshee," you wince at the sound. "How is that the only thing you hung onto out of everything I just told you?"

"But...but!" Wanda narrows her eyes on you. "It was getting serious with Raye!"

"Serious?" you raise your brow at Wanda. "What gave you the idea it was getting serious? We were dating but I saw her maybe a few days out of a month with how much she flies out for work."

"So, it wasn't getting serious at all?" Wanda frowns.

"Well," you purse your lips. "Maybe for Raye. She was considering transferring to another department so she wouldn't have to fly out anymore."

Wanda's mouth hangs open, her face pale with the worst thoughts of what might've been if they never confessed their feelings.

"Which," you cut in like you're able to read her mind, "obviously, I told her to not do as I wanted to end things with her."

"How did she take it?" Wanda asks curiously.

You look uncomfortable as you shift in bed, but Wanda waits patiently. "I think she just emotionally shut down. There were no tears, no screaming, or any accusations about why I was ending things. She just looked impassive as she accepted it and asked me to leave."

"Oh," Wanda bit her bottom lip. She feels bad in a way, but not bad enough to regret making you hers. "I'm sorry, bug."

You sigh as you reach over and pull Wanda close, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder. The blanket shifts down, exposing Wanda's neck and collarbone where you had unabashedly marked up.

"Now, are you done with the questions, or can we resume where we left off?" You ask mischievously, pressing languid kisses against the side of her neck. 

Wanda closes her eyes with a soft hum, pressing her body closer to yours until you shift and move over Wanda. 

"I notice that you didn't mention anything about Darcy."

"Mention what exactly?" You say between kisses, stroking Wanda's hip. "That I was insanely jealous and wished her ill? Although, now that I know it was a fake date and neither of you had interest in each other, she seems nice."

Wanda laughs. "Even after she hacked your laptop?"

"With your help, might I remind you," you pull up and pointedly look at her. "But if she never corrupted those wedding files, I would've never got the original SD card and found out about your feelings."

"Very true," Wanda muses as she throws her head around your neck and pulls you close. She pecks your lips charmingly. "We should get her a nice bottle of wine."

"What about Steve and Bucky."

Wanda scoffs. "They're meddling little school girls who are probably kicking their feet and giggling."

You can't help but laugh before you dive in for another kiss, eager but slow. Oh, man. You were going to love Wanda for the rest of your life.

After a moment, Wanda sighs. "Okay, fine. We can give our McDonald's coupons to Steve and Bucky."

You laugh again. "Alright, brat."

"Okay, stinky."

"Chicken."

"Stupid."

"Witch."

"Here we go again with that," Wanda rolls her eyes with a smile. "I'll have you know that if I were a witch, I'd be the most powerful and best witch ever."

"I bet you would," you agree very readily. "Instead of cursing people to death, you'd be saving their lives...or causing mass chaos. Huh, I guess that's not so different from now." 

Wanda scoffs indignantly before she starts tickling you. You laugh, trying to jerk away, but Wanda is persistent in keeping you in place. 

"Mercy!" You laugh as you roll to the side. 

"Take that back! I do not cause chaos!"

"I take it back! You're clearly an A-List superhero!"

Wanda continues to tickle you anyway. "Say you love me!"

"I love you!"

Only then does Wanda stop, grinning wickedly as she presses a chaste kiss to your lips, and you're breathing heavily.

You want to call her a menace, but you're afraid that will only result in another tickle fight. 

Wanda smiles warmly.

"I love you, too."

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"See, I told you Wanda would be the one to confess!" Steve smirks.

"That's because you're a little cheater who went and nudged Wanda along," Bucky rolls his eyes with a smile.

"Oh, yeah, like you're the perfect picture of fair," Steve narrows his eyes. "Don't think I don't know that you went to Bug first. I had to step in and nudge Wanda to make the odds even."

"Was it really Wanda who confessed when it was Bug who technically discovered her secret."

Steve seems to think about it before he slumps into the sofa, "I feel like that's a gray area." Then, Steve frowns. "Ugh, but then that means neither of us wins the bet."

"We can just call it even," Bucky shrugs, laying his head on Steve's shoulder.

"Oh, no," Steve shakes his head. "I won't let you wriggle out of our bet. We will watch all the Lord of the Rings movies if you lose."

Bucky groans loudly. "But there's so many and they're so long."

"You really think I want to watch the Star Wars movies?" Steve rolls his eyes.

"They're a classic!" Bucky argues.

"So is Lord of the Rings."

Bucky huffs but concedes. "Fine," he wrinkles his nose. "Should we bet on something else?"

"No, I like the thrill of two people getting together, even if it takes time. Besides, we have the time since we have to finish a whole bunch of shows," Steve says.

"Hm, which ones of our friends are due to get together?" Bucky muses.

"We could try Nat and Maria," Steve suggests.

"No, too hard since Maria doesn't live here," Bucky shakes his head and then offers, "Yelena and Kate?"

"I think they're actually already together," Steve furrows his brows. "But if they're not, I'm too scared of Yelena to get involved in her affairs."

"I think that's all our friends who are technically single with a viable date option," Bucky sighs.

Silence falls between them before Steve suggests, "Want to bet when Tony and Pepper will announce they're pregnant?"

They stare at each other for a moment before they yell out their guess at the same time. 

"6 months!"

"6 months!"

The silliness of it all leaves Steve and Bucky giggling. 

[bxyp]

Could you maybe do something with a ftm reader who has a lot of scars and tattoos especially on his back and like Ghost sees him shirtless for the first time? Without Ghost knowing your trans? And it just being fluff and a little bit of angst?

If you don't feel comfortable doing this its okay!!

Sincerely: a very cool person

His priority is your well-being, not some scars you have.

Summary: You have been shot, and Ghost, as your comrade, helps you treat the wound. What could go wrong?

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x FTM Reader

warnings: SWF content, "Ghost" '22, transphobia is mentioned, post-surgery scars are described, military, soldier! reader, blood, wounds were mentioned, reader gets shot.

word count: 592

Being transgender in the military wasn't easy. Sneaking into the shower right after everyone had left to just take a shower, just without anyone knowing. Just to make sure no one judges or looks weird. It wasn't easy in the army. The service here was even harder…

Being wounded in the line of duty was not unusual, even the best soldier could receive a scratch. And even now you are leaning against some old tree in East Asia. Things never go according to plan, that's part of the job.

Eyes barely open, this job is not for the weak. That's why you clench your teeth while Ghost starts pulling you out of your gear to put bandages on your gunshot wound on shoulder. Of course you wish you could do it by yourself but right now you priority was to not get infection.

"Keep your eyes open, soldier." Ghost’s harsh tone didn’t let you relax even for a second, which was probably for the best. He didn't pay much attention to your tattoos or scars, figuring he could take a closer look at them once he stitched you up.

You feel his gloved hands slowly pour the alcohol onto your shoulder. Sharp pain simply drowned out all your thoughts. Every cell of your body felt like it was on fire. "Fuck! Be gentle, I’m bleeding.” You spat as soon as you unclenched your teeth. Everything hurt so much, your mind could barely focus on one thought.

"I'm well aware of that." He said that once he found the nearest piece of cloth to cover the bleeding, he would help you get to your feet and get to the nearest evacuation site.

He picked up the radio and said something, but you could barely hear what. Only thing you got was that he said that you had been shot and you both needed to evacuate as soon as possible. He probably said something else, but your head hurt, along with that damn shoulder that felt like it was being cut off, slowly, piece by piece. His skillful hands quickly tightened some fabric on your shoulder. And without giving you time to come to your senses, he picked you up, throwing your good arm over his shoulder. “The evacuation helicopter will be there in a few minutes. Get back on your feet."

You both slowly walked towards the place Ghost lead you to. Only now did you remember that he probably saw your scars… Those top surgery scars that you covered with everything you could. Those scars that you hid. These white lines are right under your pecs. You worked hard to make them hard to see. But neither cream nor some beaty products could remove them. A constant reminder of who you were born…

Anxiety rise in you, your stomach became a tight knot. You're afraid that he saw the scars that you tried to hide. “So, about what you saw…” You were afraid he might tell someone. The military was not the most acceptable place. Here you will have to fight not only on the battlefield, but also earn your place among others.

“I don’t care who you are, lad. My job is to keep you alive, not to pry into your personal life.” His words can be harsh and cold. But you don't see any condemnation here. He considers you his equal. Ghost wasn't the nicest person, but he wasn't an asshole who treated you differently just because you weren't like him.

The rescue helicopter was visible in the distance…

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𝔑𝔬𝔱 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥. ℑ'𝔪 𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔤𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔲𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔴𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 ℑ'𝔳𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔞𝔴𝔞𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔞 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔢. ℑ 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔦𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔰𝔲𝔭𝔭𝔬𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔞 𝔣𝔩𝔲𝔣𝔣 𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔶, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 ℑ 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔨 𝔦𝔱 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔣𝔦𝔱 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔊𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔱'𝔰 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯.

[byuljoonie]

moonlight // knj

I’m sorry baby I’m just really hot…

pairing: namjoon x reader

genre: one shot, slight angst, fluff, growing tension, boyfriend material, extreme smut, desperation, succubus intentions…

word count: 5k+ (sorry)

warnings: mentions of mature topics, spit, namjoon driving lmao, thigh humping bcs desperate, throat goat, dom!sub, dom rm!sub reader, alcohol consumption, probably a good amount of swearing, post-gym namjoon, grocery store activities, slight car play, teasing, oral, summer night, riding, overstimulation, a little masochism

summary: namjoon promised to go to the grocery store with you after the gym (extended ending on ao3)

note: just had what cody ko and noel would call a “power thought.” I literally just had a spark of inspiration bcs it’s really hot in the south right now and Namjoon’s vogue cover is to die for. enjoy and feel free to check out any of my playlists while reading. Sorry for any little mistakes. gonna make a tag list after I post 10 works! -ash (wrote this draft a few months ago so it might be slightly more extreme than expected.)

My reflection stared back at me, tracing the movement of the cloth against my skin. The long slit of the black fabric starts by the left knee and leaves an opening at the bottom of the dress. My manicured feet sat firmly against the hardwood bedroom floor, grounding me away from my persistent thoughts. I grabbed my sunglasses from the stand mounted on the cream walls and turned swiftly on my heels. Abandoning the mirror with a grimace on my face.

I loved this dress very much, the long sleeves light and airy protecting me from the harsh summer rays. The way it hugs my figure is like someone familiar. The same someone that bought this dress for me. He crossed my mind once more sending another surge of anger through me.

Namjoon promised to come along to the grocery store with me today but he’s been at the gym for almost 2 hours now. He said he’d only be gone an hour but an hour quickly turned to two, now I’m dressed and past ready to go. I hated going to crowded stores, at this rate we’ll never beat the after-work rush.

I sat on the bed putting on my anklet he gifted me for our 3 year anniversary. Yet another gift that I’m wearing today, being spoiled ruining my plans of holding a grudge tonight on our date. I slipped on some black socks and made my way towards the door. Listening as the front door swings open with a beep of the automatic keypad.

I excitedly descend the stairs, my black dress sweeping the floor behind me beautifully like a wedding gown flowing in the summer breeze. The second step I’ve already failed at trying to be mad at him.

“Baby! Where you at?” He says deep voice roaring through our apartment. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs almost running into his chest. He smiled at me taking in all of my body, returning to my eyes after his brief but thorough inspection.

“Right here NAMjoon,” I stated putting extra emphasis on his surname. I watched as his chest rose and fell with every breath, his skin glistened with sweat. Tan skin accentuating his muscular frame, my mouth parted slightly at the sight. He looked heavenly I almost lost my composure.

“I’m sorry I took so long Y/N my trainer wouldn’t let me leave until the workout was complete,” he said walking towards me. Smirking at the way my eyes followed his every movement.

“You look so gorgeous Princess, this dress is perfect for you,” he said pulling me into a tight embrace. Grabbing a handful of my ass as he reached over to rest his chin on my shoulder. I yelp in surprise at the sudden groping, melting into his body and giving up on being angry. I wanted to take him right now but first, we need food or we’ll be eating out for another week before we have time to shop again.

“Whatever Joon go shower we have to leave as soon as possible and you’re stinky,” I said pulling away from him and then standing on my tippy toes to kiss him quickly. He kissed me back beginning to deepen it before I push him away again. I give him a knowing look and bid him goodbye as I walk to the kitchen to make him a snack to eat in the car. The store was about a 25 minute drive from us but it was worth it for the produce.

I grab a few ingredients from the fridge to make him a nice sandwich with an everything bagel. I prepared everything quickly and put it in a small ziplock bag next to my purse. I heard Namjoon exiting our bedroom 15 minutes later, humming a sweet tune in his beautiful vibrato.

“Come on babe I already have the car warming up,” he said grabbing my hand and lightly pulling me next to him. He’s wearing a light brown shirt with a pair of distressed blue jeans. Looking as handsome as always I drink in his appearance for eternity. We walked to the elevator quietly, Namjoon tapping away on his phone until the elevator doors opened to be let us out.

As we walk towards our car I begin to sweat a little, the setting Sun still scorching my skin like its’ noonday twin. I started to speed up a little pulling Namjoon along so I could feel the relief of the A/C sooner than later. He swung the door open for me making sure my dress wasn’t in the way before shutting the door.

Namjoon jumps in quickly closing the door before the heat could penetrate the closed air. It still wasn’t cool enough in here, with the sun beaming directly on our vehicle the A/C felt like lukewarm hell. I let down the window hastily fanning myself as we pulled out of the parking lot.

After I few minutes of fanning and desperation, I looked over and behold a sight that would make any woman yearn in an instant. A head of sweat moved swiftly down the expanse of Namjoons golden jaw. Resting at the base before dropping down onto his slightly exposed shoulder. His lips rose colored from his unconscious biting. I wanted to reach over and swallow him whole, I crave him so bad I can’t help but squeeze my legs together at the thought.

I was so caught up in my sinful thoughts I didn’t notice him glance over at me. A twinkle in his eye set off the indication of a torturous idea. Namjoon placed his large hand on my thigh, causing me to tense up instantly. Before I could utter a word he reached over my leg and grabbed his sandwich from my lap.

His smile turning into a stifled laugh as he continued to stare straight ahead. I must have let out the small noise I was holding in because he seemed to know exactly what would tick me off right now. I turned my attention towards the windshield trying to focus on the passing cars and people watching. Then an idea popped into my head.

I pull out my phone and open the group chat I have with our 6 best friends. I stop and think of what to type before another brilliant idea is brought to me. I pose provocatively making sure my cleavage was “present,” in my photo. I took a couple of pictures, some with sunglasses and some staring at Namjoon. He patiently drove, oblivious to my sly intentions. He hummed along to one of his favorite songs looking over at me to shoot me a wink.

I giggled and looked away almost feeling bad for what I’m going to do. Yet not bad enough because I went ahead and sent the photos with a message. “Should I post these on my close friends? I don’t know if I look good enough today…” I said ending with a sad face. It didn’t take long for our phones to simultaneously vibrate. Secretly glancing over at Namjoon, I unlock my phone knowing he can’t check his until we’re in the lot.

Hobi ddaeng: You look great !! Of course, you should post it, Namjoon talk some sense into her.

Me: He’s driving right now. I didn’t ask for his opinion yet I want to hear you guys first :)

Park Chanel: ooooh…I see…

Park Chanel: If you don’t post the pictures I will! Wow wow you look beautiful. Nice..dress and necklace.

I looked down at my neck realizing I didn’t wear a necklace today. Oh Jimin you’re evil Namjoon is going to kill me and you. I laughed a little at his crude behavior and read the next incoming message.

Yoongi: You’re gonna get hit Jimin *laughing emojis*

Me: mmm just because you guys said so I will post it hehe

Before I could read the next response I felt the car shake as we pulled into the grocery store parking lot. I quickly went on my sns and posted two of the pictures on my close friends. Picking the two the boys liked the most. I was starting to get nervous, I know how possessive he is with me and I’m the same but I want revenge for making me frustrated.

Namjoon pulls into an open parking spot almost near the front of the bustling building. I take off my seatbelt with a click grabbing my purse from my lap and swinging the door open. I wanted to beat Namjoon inside before he could read the texts and catch me. As I hurriedly closed the door I saw him reading the messages, jaw tensing with rage.

I hear him call my name from the car and a slam of a car door followed behind the sound of his sexy voice. His long legs easily closing the space between us as he grabbed my hand, squeezing it while looking at me. I put my shades on ignoring his questions. Stroking the back of his hand as I never break eye contact with the automatic sliding doors.

“Can you get us a cart pet?” I froze at the nickname. He knows what he’s doing, and I don’t plan on breaking that fast. I let go of his hand briefly going to grab the first cart I saw. Cleaning the handle before strutting back over to my boyfriend as he eyed me intensely.

I let him grab the cart from me but not before pulling him down to whisper in his ear. “Anything for you Daddy..” I say in a hushed tone. Making sure to leave a kiss on his sensitive earlobe as I pull away.

I walk forward trying not to laugh at the silly nickname I used to get him riled up. He trailed behind me, failing to hide his blatant staring at my ass. We make our way down the aisles trying to speed up the process as people begin piling into the store.

“Joonie baby I can’t reach this,” I said struggling to reach the box of goldfish on the top shelf. He moved over to me in a flash, pressing his front flush against my back. I heard his breathing stop as I purposely pushed my ass against him.

“This one, this one, this one, or this one…” He trailed off purposely picking the wrong boxes to tease me. He finally grabbed the correct item and tossed it in the cart. Walking away as if he didn’t leave me speechless and flustered on the cracker aisle.

I follow him to the snack aisle after grabbing a few bottles of wine and champagne for our date tonight. The empty aisle presents another opportunity for me to assert my dominance. I walk over to the chips looking at them inquisitively as if I’m mocking a character.

“Honey do you want this kind or this kind?” I said while bending over. Making sure to sway slowly as I wait for an answer. “Babe? Which-“ I was cut short as a hand firmly grabbed my ass causing me to yelp in surprise and sit up straight.

“I want this one right here,” he growled in my ear. I turned around and looked at him, watching his eyes darken with hunger. “Let’s get outta here yeah?” He questioned looking into my eyes. I nodded furiously ready to exit this hell and get home to what’s waiting.

We race to the self-checkout line, scanning and bagging groceries like a 5000-dollar prize is awaiting the winner. Namjoon grabbed my hand after he paid and pulled me along with him as he pushed the basket with his other hand. He was so warm, skin clear and kissable. I wanted to pull him aside and cover him in kisses, not caring about the people around us.

Namjoon unlocks the car as we stop beside it. I move to walk around the cart but he stops me in my tracks. “Let me help you get the groceries in the car love,” I say looking confused at his sudden maneuver.

Unexpectedly, he opened the car door and motioned for me to get inside. I insisted again that I help but he gave me a look that I know better than to disobey. I got inside praying I didn’t anger him too much. I set myself up for this one, didn’t I? It’ll be worth it in the end right? Maybe I went a little too far with the texts but I can’t help but shiver with anticipation. I pull out my phone to text Jimin about my bad decisions.

Me: I think I fucked up lol

Park Chanel: you’re welcome ;)

Namjoon slams the trunk shut causing me to jump in surprise. I close my phone sitting it in the cup holder beside me. He gets in the car, jaw still tense as he turns the key in the ignition. I thought about breaking the silence but the tension was so thick a knife would recoil at the slight pressure of penetration. Namjoon puts on his seatbelt then proceeds to look at me.

“ I don’t want to hear another peep from you Y/N..” he starts lowly not breaking eye contact for a second. “You’ve done enough for tonight, if you do anything stupid I swear I will pull the car over and take you on the side of the road. I promise you wouldn’t want that.” He deadpans and looks away from me, pulling out of the parking spot. I utter a soft okay and prepare to behave the rest of the way home.

I slide my palm over to his free hand resting on his thigh. I stare firmly at him, giving my best puppy eyes in return. He doesn’t look away from the road but I watch as his lip twitches into a small smile. He grabs my hand, rubbing his large thumb over the back of my hand. In love can’t begin to describe how I truly feel about this man.

I laugh as he tries to sing along to Smoke Sprite, raspy voice blending well with Soyoon. I rap along to his part of the song, stealing the spotlight and making him bop his head in excitement. The song finishes and we’re about 10 minutes from our place. I check my phone and see a text from our group chat, making the recent grocery store escapades flash through my mind. I want him to touch me again, I like it when he’s desperate and needy for me.

Another terrible idea floods my brain accompanied by a mound of outcomes. I suddenly let go of Namjoons hand causing him to spare me a confused expression. A smile graced my face as I turned my body forward, grabbing the slit of my dress and opening it over my legs. I let my left hand run down the front of my dress, stopping at my panties hesitating even.

I slide my hand under the fabric immediately coming in contact with the soft skin. I dip my fingers and get to work. I began letting out dramatized moans and grunts. I moan Namjoon's name and furiously let my hand lose control. I looked over and saw Namjoon gripping the steering wheel in frustration. Sweat adorned his angelic face, veins prominent in his hands. I let this go on until we reached the last stop light near our apartment building. I sat up and closed my legs acting like I didn’t just masturbate next to my boyfriend in a moving car.

We pull into the lot entering our designated spot. Namjoon quietly turned off the engine and released a sigh that he seemed to have been holding in. He looks absolutely pissed and it’s so sexy. His erratic breathing only made me wetter by the second.

“You’re going to follow my instructions carefully. I don’t want to hear a word from you or tonight will be your worst fucking nightmare got it?” He questioned angrily letting his eyes trail over my body once more. I nodded too scared to move an inch more.

“Go upstairs, get undressed, wait in the middle of the bed. If you’re not in that spot when I come up there in 15 minutes, you better pray you can stop time.” He seethes hotly. “Yes sir,” I say scared and ready for more. He gets out of the car walks around and opens my door. He grabs my purse from my lap holding eye contact, his brown almond eyes dark and predatory.

“Go.” He states motioning for me to exit the vehicle. I get out swiftly, grabbing my purse from his hand and sprinting towards the entrance of the building. The elevator took an eternity to bring me to our floor. I ran to the door and shakily put in the passcode, messing up a few times before it finally let me in.

My shoes are off in a flash, I leave my purse by the door as well abandoning my shades on the counter as I run past to the stairs. I burst into our room, slipping my dress off. Almost fell as I grabbed my silk lavender robe hanging on the wall. I threw it on and climbed onto the bed. My anklet glowed in the natural light seeping through the parted curtains. The front door swung open slamming against the wall.

I heard shuffling, cabinets opening and closing for 10 more minutes before his heavy footsteps echoed through our hallway. He walked into the room eyeing me before raising an eyebrow. I started to sweat nervously hoping I did what I was told.

“Who told you to put on your robe Y/N?” He questioned in amusement. He slowly walked over to me, grabbing each side of the robe and ripping it open. He discarded it onto the floor and stalked around the bed, he stood at the front motionless. “On your knees in front of me, now.” He said and I immediately left the bed. I swung my legs over the side and dropped to my knees.

Namjoon watched me through lidded eyes as I crawled over to him on my knees, stopping directly in front of his growing bulge. I was quick to unlatch the hook of his buckle, the metal of the belt clinging as it hit the hardwood floors.

“I’ll excuse the robe mishap since you’re so eager to taste me doll face,” he said reaching down to grab my chin. A loud moan echoed through the room as he grabbed my hair and yanked my head back. He looked down at me, motioning his head back as if telling me to open up. I did as I was told and watched as he spit in my mouth and closed it back. He pulled his pants down and kicked them to the side.

“Good girl, now eat.” He said intensely. He hummed in satisfaction, eyes never leaving the way I wrapped my fingers around his cock and finally engulfed his length into the warmth of my mouth. I took him in slowly inch by inch, his girth heavy against my tongue as I extended my jaw wider and wider. I choked a little as he hit the back of my throat.

“You look so fucking gorgeous with your lips wrapped around me, pet,” his fingers tightened into my hair, his gaze stoic and heavy on me. Pet. The pet name earned a moan from me as I began a steady rhythm of sucking. My fingers were coated in a thick layer of saliva, Namjoon’s cock easily sliding against my pressured grip as my cheeks hollowed, jaw growing sore from my strenuous movements.

He groaned loudly, fucking my throat faster until I could no longer take it. I let my jaw go slack so he could use me as his personal toy. He grabbed my face and fucked it harder until I was seeing stars. A beautiful repetition of my name strung from his tongue, stilling as he came into my mouth. I happily swallowed every drop, coughing around his cock one last time, sending a shiver through his body.

“Good job, get on the bed I want to taste you. I can see you dripping on the floor,” he smirks as he picks me up and helps me onto the bed. He walks around and gets in the middle of the bed, watching me as I sit patiently waiting for instructions.

“Come here baby, sit on my face,” he motioned for me to come to him. I slowly crawled towards him, bracing myself on his lap. He kissed me roughly, tasting himself on my tongue, running his hand down to play with my chest. Nipples sensitive to the touch, he pulls away from me, taking my right breast in his mouth. Sucking and nibbling on me, teasing me. He pulled off with a pop, scooting further down the bed and then lifting me so I could move towards his face.

I place my hands on the headboard hovering over his face in anticipation. He suddenly grabs my thighs and pulls me down onto him. I scream out in pleasure as he dives into my center. Feverishly lapping his tongue at my pussy like it’s the last time he’ll have me. His moans send intense vibrations through my body, making me scream his name. We’ll have a noise complaint tomorrow.

I felt my orgasm coming on, riding his tongue until my legs were sore. He let go of my left thigh to slap my ass hard, signaling me to cum on his tongue. I came with a loud groan of his name. Shaking and twitching as I came down from my high.

Namjoon grabbed my hips, gently guiding me down to his lap. His face was covered in my essence, from nose to chin, he glistened like an Angel. He smiled and rubbed circles on my tummy as he watched me shake.

“Don’t think we’re done darling, I’m not finished until I see my cum dripping down your pretty legs.” He gave me one last smile before his eyes darkened once more. He grabbed my hips and lifted me slightly, sticking his girth fully inside me. I sank slowly, letting him fill me to the brim. Tears streamed down my cheeks loving the painful stretch in my core.

“Ride me until I say stop.” He deadpanned motioning for me to move or else. I started to ride him painfully slow, not being able to take much more. This was my opportunity to finally seize control. I picked up the pace, rhythmic grunts and sounds of skin slapping filled the room. I put my hands on his chest and let my hips do the talking.

I ground down harder, spelling his name with every swift motion of my hips. I felt his cock twitch inside of me, indicating he was close already. Now that I have control I’m going to make him feel everything he did to me. I moved faster, causing the bed to shake and tremble with every shout of his name.

He grabbed my hips trying to make me slow down but I only grind down harder. Clenching and tightening around him to send me him over the edge. I watched as his orgasm roared through him, eyes rolling to the back of his head. I kept moving, milking everything from him. Getting closer to my orgasm, I let myself go with one last yell of his name.

Squeezing my eyes shut as I finally stilled. The sound of heavy breathing filled the room, the bed creaking as I rolled off of him. Shivering as the empty feeling overtakes me when he’s not inside of me. “I hope I didn’t get too carried away,” I started while looking over at my completely wrecked boyfriend.

“That was perfect.” He said smiling over at me. He slowly stood up, going to our bathroom to retrieve a towel. He returned momentarily, cleaning me off and then cleaning himself. Throwing the towel in the hamper against the wall. I was so exhausted I could barely move. I got under our giant duvet, getting comfortable fairly quickly.

Namjoon glanced at me, nestled under the warm blankets, my eyes getting heavy with exhaustion. He promised me a special date night and he was determined to make it happen, even if he just put me to sleep. With a gentle smile, his aftercare continued.

“Hey, babe,” he whispered softly, brushing a strand of loose hair from my face. “I know you’re tired but I don’t want our date night to go to waste.”

I yawned in response and mumbled sleepily, “Joonie I’m so comfy right here.” Earning a chuckle from him, my reluctance seeped through the atmosphere. “I know, but trust me, you won’t regret it. I’ve got something in the living room set up for us.”

That caused me to sit up, curiosity overcoming my fatigue. “Oh? What is it?” I said carefully. “It’s a surprise, but I promise it’ll be worth it.” He said leaning in to plant a kiss on my forehead.

With his gentle encouragement, I reluctantly pushed the covers aside and allowed Namjoon to help me out of bed. He passed me the discarded robe and my slippers, and together we made our way to the living room.

Where soft candlelight flickered with a movie on the screen waiting to be played. As I settled onto the couch I couldn’t help but smile at the effort Namjoon had put into creating this romantic haven. A charcuterie board with our favorite snacks and 2 bottles of the wine we purchased earlier were on the coffee table.

Namjoon plopped down beside me, taking my hand in his. “See princess? Our date night in the living room isn’t so bad, is it?” He said grinning like he won the lottery. My fatigue began to dissipate as I basked in the warmth of Namjoon's love and effort. “Not bad at all,” I said, feeling grateful for his consistency and thoughtfulness.

“Let’s start the movie I’m so excited!” I exclaimed pumping my fist in the air embarrassingly hard. Namjoon laughed and mimicked me, making me laugh even harder than before. The first half of the movie went by as we stuffed our faces with food and downed wine like it was our last supper. I was starting to feel tipsy and before I knew it my thoughts started wandering again.

“Mmm, these snacks are-“ Namjoon started as he reached for the charcuterie board. I interrupted his thought by grabbing his hand. Namjoon looked at me puzzled, “huh?” He says in surprise. I move closer and settle onto his lap. “I want to be closer to you,” I said, hands resting on his toned chest.

Namjoon blinked at me, a tipsy smile forming on his lips, “Well I can’t argue with that pet.” I look into his eyes exploring the galaxies I can reach within them. “You know, I love nights like these, just you and me, a movie, some wine…” I rambled to him.

“Yeah, me too. It’s moments like this when I realize how lucky I am to have you in my life baby.” He said while lost in my eyes. Searching for something, something that he knows I have. I leaned in slowly, our lips almost touching, “I love you Namjoon.” I kissed him before he could respond. Feeling his emotions spill into our kiss. He pulled us apart gently, rubbing his hand on my cheek. “I love you too Y/N.”

He grabbed my face and captured my lips again. A thief that could do no wrong in my eyes, I deepened the kiss craving more of him. Needing to feel something more. I slowly began moving my hips on his thigh, grinding down onto the exposed skin, earning a guttural groan from his throat.

His hands moved down the side of my body, exploring every curve, touching every mark he left on me this evening. He landed on my hips, guiding me to my last orgasm with his strong hands. The air was hot once more, soft moans and sweet nothings penetrated the quiet.

The movie is long forgotten, the candlelight coating the walls in a beautiful golden glow. I felt my orgasm building quickly, still sensitive from the earlier assault on my clit. Namjoon began bouncing his leg, adding more pressure on my center, and sending me over the edge.

I kiss him one last time before I fall fast asleep on him.

The end.

[cyberneticfallout]

Chapter Seven: The GoverMint

Ch 1 - Ch 2 - Ch 3 - Ch 4 - Ch 5 - Ch 6 - Ch 7 - Ch 8 - Ch 9 - More Coming Soon

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Fem!Reader Summary: Two men bring you into custody and some new information comes to light. Tags: Slow burn (and I mean SLOWWW), angst, eventually more smut, language, canon-typical violence, chem/alcohol use, more tags will be added Posted on AO3: Smoothie and The Ghoul Word Count: 2.1k

"What? Never had mornin’ wood before, Smoothie?” The Ghoul snickers as you shake your head in confusion. While yes, it’s a fairly natural thing to occur, you weren’t exactly expecting to see his hard-on first thing.

"Alright, love birds,” the man starts, causing both of you to glare at him. “Destroying a legitimate business? That's illegal 'round these parts.”

You exchange a quick glance with The Ghoul, both of you clearly annoyed by the man calling you ‘love birds’. "First of all, we are not together. And - will you please adjust yourself, Beef Jerky - second of all, this... was a legitimate business? Says who?” you ask, gesturing vaguely around the room as The Ghoul rolls his eyes and slowly covers himself with his hat.

"The government," the man proudly declares before abruptly striking The Ghoul in the face with his rifle.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let's not get crazy here," you interject, raising your hands in protest, realizing that two against one isn't a smart choice at the moment. Your head is throbbing from the alcohol you drank the night before, leaving you in no condition to fight back.

“Don’t worry, miss. Your husband is okay, but you two gotta face justice,” the man replies. You huff a frustrated sigh at the continued assumption that you two are a couple. Looking the man over, you notice a crudely made sheriff badge with the name Troy etched onto it.

“May I call you Troy?” you ask, pointing to his badge. He gives you a smile, indicating it’s okay. “Now, Troy, this man right here isn’t my husband. We are just traveling companions who happened to come across this already destroyed business.”

Troy sighs, “We ain’t stupid, ma’am. We gotta bring ya both in. Rex!” He shouts at the other man, “Tie ‘em up and we’ll move out once that one wakes back up.”

Shortly after, The Ghoul wakes up and the four of you are on the move towards the supposed government. You keep stealing glances at him, hoping for any sign of a plan, but he remains silent and focused on the path ahead. The restraints around your wrists chafe against your skin, causing irritation. These two men seem dumb as hell but the one sure knows how to use rope.

Finally, the four of you approached a building sporting a sign that proudly proclaims "The GoverMint”. The Ghoul shot you a glance, and you couldn't help but roll your eyes in exasperation. The sight of the misspelled sign only reinforced your growing realization that you were dealing with a bunch of idiots. The building itself appeared run-down and neglected, a stark contrast to the grandeur one might expect from an actual government facility. The paint was peeling, the windows were dirty, and the overall atmosphere exuded an air of disarray. As you were escorted inside by Troy and Rex, you couldn't shake the feeling that this whole situation was more absurd than dangerous.

"Well, shit!" a hefty man exclaims, sitting at a table with a plate of food. "I heard it was a ghoul that messed up that Super Duper Mart. Nobody told me it was the ghoul."

"Why, Sorrel Booker," The Ghoul smirks.

You silently mouth to The Ghoul, "You know this guy?"

"You boys know who you just brought in? This sumbitch right here used to be the best bounty hunter to ever shoot a man in the ass," Sorrel chuckles as the two men usher you to sit in front of him. "Kids these days don’t know their goddamn history."

"Say, you got a needle and thread?” The Ghoul casually asks. “I think I got some in my bag, actually. Would you mind?"

Sorrel hesitates for a moment, eyeing him, but ultimately nods his head. Troy hands over the needle and thread, and The Ghoul's restraints are untied. With a calm demeanor, he picks up a perfectly cut finger and begins sewing it onto his missing one. You can't help but watch in disbelief, your mouth agape, trying to make sense of the bizarre scene unfolding before you. What the fuck is happening right now?

"Whose finger is that?!" You blurt out unintentionally, causing silence to take over the room.

Sorrel takes a good look at you as he spits out a piece of meat and puts it in a bowl labeled 'cysts’, turning his attention to the man next to you. “200 years. I don’t know what keeps you going. Maybe you just like the feeling of that good old California sunshine on your wrinkly-ass face. Or maybe you’re still looking for her. Maybe not though... this your girlfriend or somethin’?"

"You really think I’d shack up with some smoothskin? She ain’t even that pretty.” The Ghoul retorts, ignoring your offended look as he scrunches his newly sewn finger to make sure it's functional. “And I sure as hell ain't still alive so that I can have unintelligent conversations with dipshits like yourself."

“Mind your fucking mouth. That’s the president of the government you’re talking to.” Troy speaks up.

“Oh, you’re president now?” He raises a brow, “In that case, I am hearing a whole lot of chatter about some woman. Name of Moldaver. They call her the Flame Mother.”

This new information about a woman catches you off guard, as it's the first time you've heard about her on this journey. While the two men continue their conversation, you find yourself racking your brain as the mention of Moldaver triggers a memory in your mind. You vaguely recall whispers in the air about a woman who leads a group of people up in the mountains. Tension begins to build in the room as you find yourself deep in thought, analyzing her possible connection to the bounty you were originally after. You notice a shift in the dynamics between the men after The Ghoul taunts Troy about killing his father in Filly. It seems to have struck a nerve and Rex is ordered to take away Troy's weapons.

“Take him out back and feed him to the hogs,” Sorrel's harsh order snaps you out of your thoughts. "And this one might be good for the local brothel."

"Oh, hell no," you mutter as Troy pulls you up to take you away. Determined to fight back, you struggle to release yourself from his grasp, refusing to be taken without a fight. Suddenly, a gunshot rings out, causing chaos in the room. The Ghoul, seizing an opportunity, managed to grab Rex’s pistol and shot him.

With the distraction, you act quickly. In a burst of adrenaline-fueled strength, you headbutt Troy, feeling the sharp pain of impact, and then tackle him to the ground. Overwhelmed by a surge of emotions and a fierce desire for survival, you unleash a flurry of tied fists striking his face repeatedly. Blood splatters across your face as you continue to pummel him. He’s surely dead by now but you can't stop - there is no way you are going to a brothel against your will.

Feeling a warm hand touch your shoulder, you are startled out of your frenzy. Looking up, you lock eyes with The Ghoul, who is standing over you with a small crooked smile playing on his lips. There is a glint of amusement in his gaze, as if he is savoring this violent side of you. His presence and subtle expression of approval offer a strange sense of validation for you.

“Goddamn it,” Sorrel exclaims in frustration, throwing his fork onto the table. As you slowly rise from the man you just bludgeoned to death, The Ghoul starts untying the rope around your wrists. Despite gloves covering his hands again, you find solace in his gentle touch as he works to release you from your bindings. Once finished, he strides over to the wall littered with wanted posters and tears off a sketch of a woman.

“I got one question for you, ol’ buddy. Why do you have this picture on your wall?” The Ghoul inquires, holding up the sketch.

“That’s Moldaver. Why?” Sorrel responds, a sense of curiosity evident in his voice.

“Well, that’s not how I remember her, is all,” He remarks cryptically.

“Yeah? Well, how do you remember her?”

The Ghoul doesn’t say a word and without further explanation he leads you both outside. The two of you stand facing each other in silence. He lets out a sigh and reaches for a dirty rag in his pocket, handing it to you without a word. You take it and begin to clean yourself up but it’s proves pointless as it’s just smearing the blood all over.

"Well, that didn't do shit," he remarks as he takes the rag back from you. His gaze scans the area until he spots a barrel of grimy water, prompting him to grab you by the base of your hair and drag you over to it. As he dunks your face into the water, you shout in protest, the shock of the cold liquid causing you to react instinctively. He lifts your head up and looks at you, his expression unreadable.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Do you just like waterboarding women in your free time?!" you yell angrily, spitting excess water onto his face.

"You're clean now," he states simply as he gestures to the now wet and cleansed skin on your face. “Come on, let’s get goin’.”

“Wait, you still want me around?” you question, surprised by his response.

“I saw you back there. Proved useful,” he acknowledges, wiping the spit off his face with a nonchalant expression. He starts walking away, and you instinctively follow his lead, the rhythm of his steps guiding you away from the ‘government’.

Trailing behind him for most of the day, you're left with nothing but the echo of your dream still etched in your mind. The surreal scene of a nuclear explosion as he touched you intimately felt oddly real, even in its absurdity. Your eyes study his form, his posture, the way he moves - every detail etching itself into your consciousness. He dunked you in cold, murky water, and yet here you are, daydreaming what it might actually feel like to have his body pressed against you.

Unknown to you, The Ghoul is wrestling with his own inner turmoil. The dream he experienced replays in his mind like a haunting loop, stirring up emotions he'd rather keep buried. He finds himself irrationally angry with you for making him feel so vulnerable, even though he knows it was just a dream. His mind is now filled with thoughts of you - the curves of your body, the softness of your lips, the gentle touch of your hands.

He feels the weight of your gaze on him, and it unnerves him more than he'd like to admit. His fingers clench tighter around the hunting knife hanging on his belt, a physical manifestation of the internal struggle he's experiencing. He doesn't dare glance back at you, afraid that the turmoil in his eyes might give away more than he intends.

"Will you stop starin'?" His abrupt words cut through the tension, causing you to freeze in your tracks. Embarrassment washes over you as you realize he's aware of your lingering gaze. Attempting to play it off nonchalantly, you open your mouth to respond, but only incoherent sputtering and mumbled words escape. He turns to face you, an intense gaze piercing you like a bullet.

“I am not staring,” you manage to assert, a hint of defensiveness in your tone. “I’m just focused on the path ahead.”

“Listen up, Smoothie. I ain't keepin' you 'round 'cause we're best buds. It's 'cause you're damn good at spillin' blood. So don't be gettin' any ideas about you and me sharin' heartfelt moments or takin' strolls in the wasteland." He snaps.

“What the fuck are you going on about?” You laugh, but then a realization dawns on you. "Oh, hang on.… Am I the reason your 'little friend' made an appearance this morning?"

“Now what do you mean litt-“ He cuts himself off abruptly, “Don’t flatter yourself, Smoothie. I ain’t one for sentimentality or... entanglements.”

A small smile begins to tug at the corners of your lips, a reaction that visibly irks him, his annoyance evident in the way his features tighten. You can’t tell if he's contemplating strangling you or something even worse. Either way, there's a subtle thrill in knowing that you're the reason he’s so worked up. You approach him with a spring in your step and pat his chest, earning a fierce glare in return.

"Don't fret, sweetheart," you grin, your tone dripping with sarcasm as you use the endearing term, "I'll just pretend this never happened. Now, how about we find a spot to camp for the night?"

Tag List: @fallout-girl219 @ellabellabunny123 @sunnexaltation @coolrobloxkid28 @cheshirecat484 @capan-deveraux2 @rebelmarylou

[startrekfangirl2233-writes]

Lens Flare

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader

Description: Over the past three months, your career has grown by leaps and bounds. Yet at the same time, you can't help feeling dissatisfied. A lot of your feelings stem from what you did the last time you saw him. Jake Seresin. Lieutenant Jake Seresin. It had been fun, in the hangar, under the dead of night - passionate and hot. So too had been the video you filmed and the pictures you'd snapped. But hindsight, well, maybe there is a reason why they say "Hindsight is Twenty-Twenty". Because Jake hasn't called, despite how badly you want him to. A new assignment in North Island might have the potential to change everything for Jake and our Shutterbug, including how they approach everything they hold dear.

Warnings: Once again, this is just some porn with plot. The feral plot bunnies ran away with me, I fear.

Word Count: 8502

A/N: Hiya everyone! I'm baaack! Enjoy this sequel to my fic Photo Finish. It's just as smutty and gorgeous as the last one!

This fic is brought to you all by the constant support of @horseshoegirl, @sarahsmi13s and @desert-fern. You're all my heroes and I love you to bits for keeping me from ditching this story before it even started! I couldn't have written it without you!

AO3: Cross-posted Here!

Wattpad: Cross-posted Here!

An old photography teacher of yours once told you never to submit photos with lens flares to any publication, magazine or contest. He considered lens flares the biggest mistake for a rookie photographer. He’d declared, quite adamantly in front of your entire class, using your pictures as examples, how lens flares made photos look cheap and low quality. Given his dislike of the trick of light, he’s also taught you a plethora of tricks to prevent them. Over the many, many years since you left his class, you’ve started to relax and deviate from the rigid rules of photography he once taught you. For a large portion of your career, you've been photographing subjects which cannot be posed in a studio, which helps. Every snick and whir of your camera feels like you are letting go of rules and embracing your art.

You’ve always heard wildlife photography has a tendency to relax photographers' attitudes. It’s a truth you’re very thankful you had the chance to experience. After all, there are no rules when it’s just you, your camera and what feels like the entire world a hair's-breadth away from your camera lens. It’s hard to be frustrated with the sun glancing across your camera lens when it highlights fox kits gamboling in dewy spring grass. Or elk on a frost-bitten winter morning with clouds of their breath dissipating into the clear air. Those pictures were once-in-a-lifetime shots, perfect in their imperfection and richer with the sparkling halos of light.

Being back in New York after years of traveling has made you appreciate the photographs you took even more. Now you feel like you can fully appreciate the wilderness in them. New York is wild in an entirely different way. It’s louder, greyer, more populous, yet just as vibrant. In New York, you’ve been able to capture human nature, snapping minuscule interactions between people who are always in a hurry and always moving. But you also have to work to make enough money to fund your passions. Not having to travel helped bring some stability to your passions. But of all of the things you thought you'd be photographing, fashion models and clothes were never an option. In a way, photographing fashion and fashion models is capturing another kind of wild animal in your lens sights. Models and designers are wholly proprietary and protective over what they consider theirs, whether their clothing or their aesthetic appearance. You’ve had to shoot and reshoot, as well as touch up your photos more than you've ever had to before. Of course, in this case, your primary objective is to make the models and the clothes they are wearing look otherworldly and incredible. 

At first, the thrill of doing something new was alluring and exciting. But after a year, trapped in New York City, doing the same thing and working with the same people day in and day out, you can’t help but miss wildlife photography. It's like a persistent ache below your breast bone, something calling you back to the life you lived before. You're missing traveling in arid deserts and verdant forests even more now. And then the US Navy came calling. Now, while you miss the wilderness, you think you might just miss something else, more.

It’s late, half-past three in the early hours of the morning, and you’re sitting out on the balcony attached to your overpriced shoebox of an apartment. You’ve found yourself sitting out here more and more as the summer heat turns into the cool of fall. Your balcony is so small there’s only room for a single chair, and your feet are propped up on the wrought iron railing. New York’s the city which never sleeps and the crackle and groan of the city resonates around you. Your oldest camera, a Canon you bought in college with the pennies and dollars you’d saved from tips earned from waitressing, sits on your lap. All night, you’ve been trying and failing to chase away how unsettled you’ve been feeling by peering through the viewfinder and trying to see things from a different perspective. 

But it hasn’t worked. You've been feeling discomfited of late, unsettled and restless. Maybe your listlessness has something to do with your next assignment. You can’t lie, not even to yourself no matter how hard you try. It has everything to do with your next assignment. You should be excited. You should be asleep, because at least if you were asleep, the time would pass sooner. For once, you will not be photographing a new designer collection. In the morning, you're flying to San Diego to take pictures at North Island Naval Base for a follow-up piece sanctioned by the US Navy. Your team is joining you, which should be a comfort, albeit slight and slim. There will be more planes to photograph and possibly shots you can take from within the cockpit or from up in the air.

It took three months to publish the article on the US Navy’s newest hotshot aviation squadron. There had been countless revisions and rounds of approval with the US Navy's Office of Public Relations to greenlight the endeavor. It's been exactly the same amount of time since you met the Dagger Squadron, too - only three months after you edited the photographs, focusing maybe a little too much on one face in particular. Three months after you took the biggest risk of your life, professionally and personally. Three months after you made a sex tape with a client. It doesn’t help that he was a memorable client, too - and how you haven’t been able to forget him.

It's only been two weeks since the magazine hit newsstands with your picture of the Daggers in all their finery near one of the jets on the front cover. Everywhere you go, it seems you see their faces - his face. Your phone has been ringing off the hook ever since. Everyone wants you to take professional portraits of their clients. But your phone has never had the voice you so desperately want to hear on the other end of the line. It's a nationally distributed magazine, after all, and like everything nowadays, published both physically and digitally. The magazine had also mailed special copies to each member of the squadron which was your subject. So he has to have seen it. So why hasn't he called? It's the one question on your mind. It may be the only question on your mind, but it's far from the only thought in your mind. 

Chances are, he doesn’t want to talk to you at all. After all, why would he want to?

You couldn't silence the thoughts if you tried - and you have tried, repeatedly. Getting drunk made you maudlin, going out had you seeing his face in every stranger’s and getting laid had made you wish you were with him rather than anyone else. Over and over again you’ve found yourself thinking about those last few moments with him, agonizing over every detail, from the kisses and touches to the last time you saw him. Maybe you hadn’t been entirely clear in your note to him. You can recall the note as if you wrote it yesterday, the note you'd affixed to the flash drive you handed him.

Sure, you told him to call you when he was in New York next. But really, you wanted him to call you, period. Or text you. Something, anything to show you’re lingering in his memory in the same way he lingers in yours. You thought your dalliance had been memorable enough. You hoped you were memorable enough. After all, it's not every day you let a man fuck you up against his jet and record it, forget a man you’ve known only for a few days. Maybe it’s a little silly how attached you’ve gotten to him, given the short time frame, after what should have been completely meaningless sex. 

But it’s not meaningless anymore, at least not to you, after how many times you've seen the video since you last saw him. Your camera hadn’t hidden a single thing when you made your little home movie all those nights ago. You’ve seen how his hands had been gentle, his eyes soft. Your entire countenance had been beckoning, beguiling in the throes of passion, needy in a way you’ve never let yourself be before with anyone else. He’s also spoiled you for any other man on the planet - or at least in New York. You haven’t hit the same heights since him, and a part of you is sure you never will again. And now you have to enter the lion’s den, venture right into enemy territory with your head held high and only a camera to shield your too-hungry gaze.

A thump on the railing drags you out of your reverie. Your neighbor’s escape-artist black cat makes himself at home on the railing, paws flexing as his tail lashes through the humid night air. Like you’re in a dream, you lift up the camera and peer through the viewfinder. Tonight, everything seems to be coming back to lens flares. The neon lights fracture in your camera lens, softening the visage of the cat on the railing, green eyes luminescent. With reflexes born of years of wildlife photography, partially stunted after nearly a year of fashion photography, you depress the shutter with a soft snick and a near-silent whir. What you’re left with is a long exposed image - neon lights blurring in the background as one shines behind the cat’s head. Even his fur is blurred, only green eyes in focus, piercing into your soul. It’s perfect, as expected, and you hope it’s an omen for the days to come while you’re in San Diego.

Green eyes, different from those of your neighbor’s cat, haunt you, even more, the following day as you pile out of one of the minivans the studio rented for you and your team, as well as all of your equipment, on the tarmac at North Island. The humid, sticky air stinks of jet fuel and salt water. The wind brushes past you, snatching at your hair and ripping your sun hat right off your head. It's hot as it brushes by, providing no relief to the insistent heat.

Your team just laughs as you chase, bedraggled and exhausted, after your hat. The wind pushes you towards the hangars at the end of the tarmac, colossal doors thrown open while rows of jets stand gleaming. For the first time, you think you understand why Jake is so in love with being up in the air in his jet, how close to the elements he must be with adrenaline coursing through his system. You raise the camera resting against your chest, leaving your hat to fly where it wants, because you have to capture this.

When your camera focuses, you start snapping with abandon, capturing the sun-drenched metal and heat waves rising off of the pavement.  You’re not sure what pictures the editors will select to go with the article the journalist is going to write. Regardless, you’re stealing the time to take some filler shots now, when it’s bright out still, and blindingly golden outside. Your team is far behind you, still clustered by the cars, as you trail between the shining metal hawks, cockpits closed and emblazoned with names and callsigns. Your heart stutters in your chest when you see his jet, the text dark and fresh, announcing he’s been promoted. So, he's still operating out of Naval Air Station North Island. 

Faintly, you can hear voices emanating from one of the open hangars, so you creep closer, your old Canon camera clutched to your chest like it can protect you. Twenty-four of the US Navy's best aviators are saturated in gold, settled in creaking plastic chairs. Jake’s at the podium, laser pointer in hand, completely relaxed as he talks about things you couldn’t understand if you tried. The light glints across his face, catching angelically on the burnished strands of his hair. A singular fluffy lock has broken free of his hair gel’s hold, trailing softly across his forehead. It makes your fingers ache to push it back into place. But you can’t, because you won’t interrupt or embarrass him. So you take pictures instead, breathlessly, silently, framing the aviators limned in gold like they’re deities waiting to go to war.

You’re not sure when it happens, but he sees you - bright green eyes colliding with yours, a nearly imperceptible frown creasing his brow before the skin smooths. He doesn’t look happy to see you. In a way, it makes sense. You were just a one-night stand, something sexy to indulge in - not someone he'd want to keep forever. The look lances through you, skewering you in place as the wind and sun stick your blouse to your back. He doesn’t acknowledge you but for one curiously blank look, and you’re mortified as you walk silently back to your crew, who are now grouped around the jets in awe.

As expected, Adam and Lea, your stylists extraordinaire, are already scribbling away. Lea's flicking through the tablet in her hands. If you were a betting woman, you'd bet good money they are already planning outfits to take advantage of the blue, gold and white theme of North Island.

“Hey, Boss!” Amy, your assistant, is nearly bouncing in place with her excitement. You're not sure how she's so energetic despite the heat and the hours of travel. “Our liaison should be joining us soon. They'll give us a tour of the base and then show us where we'll be setting up shop this week.”

She doesn’t notice how frozen your smile feels and how mechanic your nods are. All you can think about is Jake. He must have known, right? What are the chances he didn’t know you were coming to North Island to take more pictures? There must have been some briefing or notice informing the aviators why you're here. After all, you’re here to photograph the Dagger Squadron. Then why was his face so blank when he saw you earlier? Thinking about him is driving you crazy, but you're not sure you can stop. All you want is to know whether he could ever feel as strongly for you as you do for him.

When your liaison walks up ten minutes later, you’re pleasantly surprised to see you have not one liaison, but two. Neither of your Navy appointed liaisons is Jake, something which you should have expected, but you were still hoping for regardless. Lieutenant Commanders Trace and Floyd are smiling from ear-to-ear as they greet your team by name. Lea and Katie seem especially enthused at seeing the soft-spoken bespectacled WSO again. Lieutenant Commander Trace is her same unflappable, cool, collected self. Her presence and dry sense of humor has you in stitches as you and your team follow behind her like a herd of ducklings. There are familiar faces around what seems like every corner of the base. But none of the faces are the face you still want to see so desperately.

Jake Seresin shows up again as you’re oooh-ing and ahh-ing over the big hanger, burnished yellow, orange, red and pink in the light of the sun. You’ve got your camera up to your face, lips pursed in concentration, eyes squinting as you peer myopically through the viewfinder. It's his voice you hear first. Just hearing it, with the same rough timber, makes you remember what he told you, before you fell into his arms and headfirst into this situation with Jake Seresin.

God, baby. You killed me this morning. Wearing that pretty little skirt and those high heels. I wanted to bend you over and fuck you until you were leaking my cum.

It’s not a good sign, is it? How you’re unable to even look at his face without giving yourself away. The evidence of your feelings must be on your face, which feels uncomfortably hot. The heat is completely unrelated to San Diego's sky-high temperature and you shy away from eye-contact when you pivot and face the rest of your team, and the trio of Lieutenant Commanders. The sight of him hits you in your solar plexus, robbing your breath and leaving your palms uncomfortably clammy.

“Hi.” 

It’s a quiet greeting, your voice swallowed by the sight of him. It feels like your tongue is two times bigger than it should be in your mouth, unwieldy as you force it to move like you want it to. He doesn’t hear you, or even acknowledge you standing there waiting for him to notice you. Standing there, you finally realize how big a gulf there is between you and Lieutenant Commander Jake Seresin.

It's a sharp contrast. He's standing there in his khaki uniform crisp and new, blond hair dark at his temples from the shower he must have taken. In contrast, your shirt is covered in wrinkles, your hair is frizzy with flyaways escaping your braid and your worn jeans are butter soft but have definitely seen better days. He ignores you for the rest of the afternoon. It hurts, of course it does, when he doesn’t notice you in the same way you notice him. But you have a job to do. You can’t - you won’t - jeopardize your career for a man, not even a man as beautiful as he is.

The now-trio of Lieutenant Commanders shows you the Officer’s ready room, where you'll be setting up for the interviews. Each member of your team is also given a badge on a lanyard allowing you limited access to certain areas of base. Soon enough, you're left to survey the ready room and prepare your team for the days ahead.

“I know it's been a long day already for you all.” Your smile is a little wry as you continue, “It's been a long day for me too. All I want is to unwind and get out of these heels!”

You let the scattered chuckles from your team peter out before continuing.

“Before I can do so, we need to sync up on what we're going to be focusing on over the next few days.”

“First and foremost on our list? Getting pictures of the Daggers while they are being interviewed. The interviewer is an old friend of Admiral Kazansky's and will be spotlighting each of the Daggers. As a part of the interview, we will be expected to get photos of each member of the squadron in their flight suits, their khaki uniforms and their dress uniforms.”

You raise your hands up to stall any questions. “I'm aware this isn't exactly the type of photo shoot we're used to. Katie, you’ll be on hand to help with their make-up during the interview. We're keeping it light and subtle. For the interview photos, we want the aviator's uniforms and medals to shine.” 

“Seb and Kris - the two of you will be measuring the light levels in this room during various times of day and setting up artificial studio lights as necessary. I'll also need you both to check on the lighting situation in the big hangar we were in with the desks and the United States flag on the wall.”

“Adam and Lea, it may not sound like it yet, but I will need you both on your A-games. By special request of Admiral Mitchell, we've been asked to stage a beach bonfire. He wants this interview to echo the beginnings of this squadron. They became a team on the beach and now they are a family. I'm thinking we need cozy textiles and bright winter-toned colors. I'll leave the color palette to you both. All I ask is we have a cohesive palette for the squadron as a whole. As always, measurements for the aviators are included in this dossier. One of the minivans is yours. Our office in San Diego knows to expect you both.”

It doesn’t surprise you at all when Adam and Lea make a beeline for the doors as soon as you’re done with them. You’ve worked with them both long enough to know how they operate. They’ll be downtown and looking through the clothing on display before you can blink.

“Ames, while I run point with the admirals,  you'll be sourcing the beachfront we can use for the bonfire. I'm not sure who you'll need permission from, but there might be a bar owner who can give us permission.”

Before long, it feels like you're the only island of calm in the entirety of base. Seb and Kris wander in and out of the room, measuring the light and carting in and out lighting equipment. Even the teleconference you have with the Admirals, both of whom are in Hawaii, due to fly back in a couple of days, goes smoothly.

Over the next few days, you find yourself building on the rapport you created with 6 of the aviators in the Dagger squad in the following days. You also meet the other half of the Dagger Squad. But at the same time you are building a relationship with the other Daggers, it feels like you're losing the relationship you once had with Jake.

The only time you see him during the four days of interviews and pictures is when he is being interviewed. Even then, he spends more time chatting with Amy and Katie than you. Even when you address him directly, he's silent, content to play puppet to your puppet master and then disappearing to an area off base you don't have access to. It hurts, and you’re starting to get weird looks from the other Daggers. They’re all too polite, or too cognizant of their positions in the Navy to ask you any prying questions. At least, until the bonfire.

It hadn’t been difficult to organize at all, in the end. All Amy needed to do was speak to the proprietress of The Hard Deck, a little bar a few miles off base. Penny had been more than happy to hand over the usage of the beach outside her bar for the night. The combination of good food, even better alcohol, and of course, no interviews relaxed the Daggers enough for you to get the candid shots the magazine was looking for. Halos of light spark across your screen with each snap you take - lens flares sparking to life, again and again.

“Why aren’t you hanging out with Jake?”

The question makes you jump and nearly chuck your lens cap into the bonfire. You fumble awkwardly as you try to collect your composure.

“Lieutenant Commander Trace. What can I do for you?”

Your voice is a little shaky as you wheel around and face her.

“You don’t have to do anything for me!” She’s smiling at your discomfort, something wicked curling her lips. “And anyways, didn’t I tell you to call me Natasha three months ago?”

 You’re smiling despite yourself at her antics.

“It’s good to see you again, Natasha.”

“Forget about me. Why aren’t you talking to Jake?” 

You should have known she wouldn’t be able to let it go.

“Three months ago, you could barely keep your eyes off of him and the same was true of him. He went out of his way to chat you up every chance he got. And now? Something happened between the two of you after we all left the hangar, and now neither of you is talking. You were fine when you showed us the pictures the next day. But now?”

You shrug, lifting your camera up to snap another couple of pictures of the squadron having fun.

“Oh my god. I can’t with the two of you. Either you walk over there and talk to him, or I’m going to get him to talk to you!”

You grab her arm before she can march away.

“I can’t, Natasha.”

You try grabbing for her, but before you can, she’s already gone. His eyes cut over to yours the more she speaks, and you’re not sure you like the way he’s glancing over at you. Your heart is in your throat as he skirts around the bonfire and sidles up to you.

“What are you doing here? Natasha has this crazy idea you’re heads over heels for me, but the way you’ve been acting says differently. So what are you doing here?”

His voice is so quiet you can barely hear it over the crackling bonfire. His face doesn’t change its expression once the entire time he’s speaking to you, barring one tiny, blink-and-you-miss-it smirk. Once again, you have to thank Adam and Lea for their work because the Lieutenant Commander looks good enough to eat in his sweater and butter-soft jeans. But you know he's not happy to see you. The disappearing act he's been pulling ever since he saw you outside the hangar four days ago is proof.

“You know what I’m doing here, Jake.” 

“You're taking photos for another article. I know, I know.”

His smirk deepens, eyes twinkling maddeningly as he prowls closer to you.

“But between you and me, it’s just the official excuse, isn't it?” He tugs at a strand of your hair, reeling you closer to him. “But unofficially, I bet you want more of me. Maybe you want to make yourself another home movie? See my handprint on your ass cheeks again?”

His words have heat rising to your face, never mind how your skin already feels too toasty from how you've been huddling near the bonfire all night to keep yourself warm. Form-fitting dresses are not beachwear, especially not in late November. But you’re dressing to impress, wearing sharp blazers and business frocks. Add to the dress the camera and purse you’ve got over your shoulder, and you’re definitely not equipped for the beach.

“How do you know what I want?”

Your voice is thready and light, and your head spins the closer he gets to you. It's weird. You've been aching to have him this close to you all week, but now, when he is actually close to you again, you feel like it's too much, like he's too much. Every night in your hotel room, you've been coaching yourself to ignore him. You’ve had to in order to compartmentalize and be professional while on base. Yet, after only a few minutes in his presence, all your defenses are shredded like tissue paper.

“Because you're looking at me like this.”

Wafts of fragrant wood smoke drift by you and him as you stand mere inches away from each other. You can’t refute his statement. Not even a little bit, not even at all. You've never been able to mask your emotions, wearing your heart on your sleeve and your feelings in the pursed set of your mouth and the raise of your eyebrows. But you’re still not sure what you can say. If he’d propositioned you with the same vulnerable look in his eyes the first day you were in North Island, when he first saw you again, you would have folded like a cheap lawn chair. Then, you probably would have been more than content to pass on your expensive hotel room and make his lonely base apartment a little warmer. But he didn’t, and you’re not sure you can take the risk anymore.

Jake’s shoulders hunch, sinking into the impossibly soft cashmere of the sweater at your lack of response.

“I…” His smirk flattens, something like his Hangman mask taking its place. His shoulders never drop past his ears the longer you stand there with him at arm’s reach and pretend like you’re having a blast at this beach photoshoot turned bonfire party.

“I’ve read this all wrong, haven’t I?”

His sigh is gusty and almost too loud. “I was waiting for you to say something, because I’ve been dying to see you again. But then you ran away when you were taking pictures of the Top Gun class. Afterward, I - I didn’t know how to say I missed you, which is weird, I know. We only knew each other for a singular night.”

If your jaw isn’t on the floor already, you know it will be soon. Already, you’ve been getting too many questioning glances from your team and the Dagger Squadron. Then there is Natasha’s well-meaning meddling from a few minutes ago. Even the admirals have glanced over every once in a while at you and the normally cocky Lieutenant Commander standing in near silence. It’s not a conscious thought which has you whirling around in the silky sand and snagging a hand into his sleeve. You’re not sure why you’re doing it. All you know is if you’re having this out now, you need to have it out in private where it will not be injurious to your career or his.

Thankfully, Jake doesn't fight you as you pull him towards a corner of the parking lot. Your face feels flushed, and your chest heaves with panic at the thought someone could know what you and Jake did.

“I…” 

You cover his mouth with your hand, pretending the feeling of his skin on your hands doesn't burn, like you’re not completely aware of the masculine heat emanating from his skin. For several long moments, you stand in the shadows between two pick-up trucks in the parking lot. Each of your muscles is tense, waiting for someone to realize you've disappeared with Jake Seresin, of all people. You don’t want to think about the possibilities they were assuming. The prickling, uneasy sensation doesn't pass with the moments but does fade a little.

“What was that about, huh?”

You just glare in response.

“I thought it was better to have this conversation where we were less likely to be overheard, is all.” 

Your voice is prim, and your nose is tipped upward. It's obvious Jake doesn't feel the same way you do about this conversation, if he’s asking you questions like this.

“C'mon, sugar. If you wanted to let me down, you could have just said it by the bonfire. I promise I won't harass you.” His brow is furrowed as he thinks through all the implications of your statement. “Then or now.”

“I…” You fling your hands upwards, feeling this sudden urge to rage at the stars above you. How have things gotten so twisted? In your head and between you and Jake? 

“I don't want to let you down, Jake.”

You growl, then, because you know what you feel, but the words aren't coming out of your mouth the right way. He's patiently waiting for you to figure it out, lips pressed into a thin line, and green eyes scorching through you.

“I’m not rejecting you, Jake. When I came to North Island Naval Base and saw you standing in front of the lectern, I wanted you to smile when you saw me. I wanted some indication you felt the same way I did. I also wanted to kiss you, but it wouldn’t have helped then.”

You're smiling again, just a slight curve to your lips, a smile Jake is mirroring.

“Then you pretended I didn't exist. You pretended I was just someone you worked with before. Not someone who you were intimate with. Not someone whose life you changed with your stupid smile and your piercing eyes and your big, gentle hands. I…” 

To your embarrassment, you're sniffling and fighting back tears. “I didn't know why, or how to deal with it, so I just pushed back all my feelings. I pretended the same thing you did, and tried to ignore how much it hurt.”

“Fuck.” The quiet expletive echoes around you. “I messed this up, didn't I?”

He's pacing now, back and forth in front of you, shoes sliding through the gravel as he marches. He's ruffling his hair, face scrunched up in anguish at your words.

“I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I've watched our video so many times, I know my favorite parts. Fuck, sweetheart, I even took the picture of your ass with my handprints on it with me when we were deployed a month ago. I was nearly given so many demerits because of how hot that picture is.”

Your heart seems like it’s going to burst out of your chest, beating as hard as it is. 

“So why didn’t you call?” The same plaintive, sad tone is in your voice again.

“What could I have said?” He’s finally stopped pacing back and forth at least. He flings his hands out from his hips “Sweetheart, I want you, I need you. I wish I could fly to New York right now to taste you again?”

You have to snicker at the sarcastic, sardonic note in his voice. 

“It’s a little melodramatic, but I would have taken it.” 

Just as quickly as you snicker, the laugh peters away into a gentle sigh. “All you had to do was tell me you missed me, Jake. All I wanted was for you to tell me you wanted to see me again.”

“Would it have mattered if I did?” 

He’s stepped closer again, close enough you can feel the heat of his skin against yours. One of his big hands cradles your jaw as he looms over you.

“I asked you a question, pretty girl.” There’s a smirk on his face as he ghosts his lips over yours.

“Why would my answer matter then?” You’re not sure where the sass is coming from, but it’s making Jake smirk even more. “Knowing the decision you made?”

Thankfully, you don’t have to think of a response with a brain wholly occupied by the man drawing you into his arms. You melt into the kiss like it's something visceral you've been missing. His hair still feels the same against the pads of your fingers, golden silk, as you wrap your arms around his neck. He still tastes like you remember, too, cinnamon and smoky spice intermingling on your tongue as he licks into your mouth. Your heart sings when he gently positions your camera so it isn’t crushed between the two of you.

You whimper when he pulls away, chasing after his mouth like you're addicted to it. He still kisses like he flies, you note dimly, thoughts far away. The car at your back is cool, the metal searing into your skin as the sun has long since set. But the cold temperature of the car has nothing on the man crowding you up against it. His eyes are lidded, gaze hot as he takes in the sight of you. The dual temperatures are enough to make you shudder.

“Look at you, darling.” His hands are just as hot as his gaze as he trails his hands down your sides. “A single kiss, and you’re aching for me.”

You can’t deny the effects this man has on you. In truth, the time for denial would have been some time before you made the movie at the hangar. You’re so far down this path there isn’t a way to turn back. 

“You want me just as much.” 

Your voice is quieter than the rush of the waves, yet loud enough you can see the impact as they hit his ears. He’s still just as fit as he was three months ago, all hard, hot muscle as he presses up against you, cedar and plum wafting through the air off his skin. You can feel the jut of him against your hip as he muscles you even further against the car, spreading you out like a meal he wants to eat. He transfixes you with a glare when he pulls away, even as he smirks at your breathy moan. You watch, eyes lidded, as he opens the truck door and sets your things on the broad seat. You’re panting with need when he comes back to you, body shivering as he leans into you again. His hands find their home against the curve of your waist, fingers still nimble as they focus on tracing your curves in a way which might be driving you just a little mad. You almost wish you were wearing a blouse and skirt again like last time, because at least then you could feel his hands spread across your ribcage, searing their heat into your bones.

You’re lost in him, utterly captivated by the way his tongue tangles with yours, the way he makes you moan. Unlike the rough, claiming kisses of your first sexual encounter with Jake Seresin, these kisses are tender and sweet. They’re searching and tasting, like he’s trying to learn what makes you tick and what makes you moan. In truth, it feels like he’s trying to take you apart only to put you together again. This time, you’re not sure you’ll ever be the same, forever changed by the man in your arms. 

“Fuck…” The word is an exhale pressed to your pulse-point, sticky, sweet, and blindingly hot. “Baby, let me take you somewhere other than this dusty, dirty parking lot. I think I really need to see you spread out on my bed this time.”

“Yes, please.” The words leave you in a strung out moan as you tug him closer, fisting your hands in his hair and sweater as you see fit. You’re past caring so long as he’s pressed so perfectly against you.

When he finally steps back from you, you’re gratified to see he looks just as rumpled and debauched as you feel. For a few moments, you stand there, drinking him in, hands aching to draw him close again, to touch him again. He takes your hand, entwining his fingers and yours. His hand dwarfs yours, skin slightly rough as his hand cradles yours. You let him lead you to the truck and help you in, because a part of you isn’t sure you’re going to be able to let him go even when you have to.

It’s silent, but for the sounds of the road as he starts his pickup, one hand never leaving its spot on your thigh. Your hands find the camera again, snapping with abandon the vista blurring past the windows and the man driving you. The streetlights halo through the lens view, speckling the pictures with circles of golden-butter light. It seems like time slips past in a slow trickle. You’re still looking through the camera when the engine cuts off, the sounds of the night trickling slowly back into your ears.

Jake’s eyes sear through you when you carefully gather your camera and bag up, legs shaky from that look alone as you step onto the pavement. His hand finds yours again, as you follow his broad back up a flight of stairs and through an unassuming white paneled front door. You’re surrounded by the cedar and plum of his cologne as you step in, the scent lightly drifting through the air. Jake crowds you against the door as soon as it closes, hands divesting you of your things even as his mouth slants over yours again. The heat sparking between you ignites again, a flame bursting to life in your chest, fed by the soft moans leaving his lips as you kiss him with wild abandon.

For much of the way to his bed, your eyes are closed. You trust Jake to lead you the right way, not to hurt you as you stumble and shudder your way through the apartment in his arms. His lips don’t leave yours once, moans ripping out of your mouth as he leaves you breathless. He’s far from quiet too, softly grunting when you tug on the hair at the nape of his neck, gasping open mouthed into yours as you rub at his bulge. Arousal bubbles in your veins, crashing over and through you. You squeal when he pushes you onto his bed, the mattress so firm it's almost hard as you bounce against it. Your hands shake as you fight with your clothes. Adrenalin makes you clumsy as you nudge your shoes off and fight futilely with the zipper at your back. Eventually you give up, choosing to lean back on your palms. When you look up, Jake’s staring down at you, eyes trailing from the curve of your mostly exposed legs up to your chest and back down again. He’s got his lower lips between his teeth, brow furrowed as he shrugs the sweater off.

Once again, you remind yourself to thank Lea for her work, because if you thought the shirt looked good buttoned up, it looks even better as it slips off his arms. He’s still wearing his dog tags, the silver chain glinting in the moonlight through the windows as he prowls over you.

“You’re still prettier than the pictures you take, baby.”

You feel like you are barely breathing as Jake licks into your mouth. The heat of his body grounds you, the points of contact just enough to tell you this is real.

“Breathe, beautiful.” His hands draw you up until you’re kneeling on the bed, your hands on his shoulders as you peer up into his eyes. Your resulting exhale is shaky as you drag in breaths with just enough oxygen to keep your head from spinning.

“Let’s get you out of this pretty dress, huh?”

“Jake.” His name falls out of your mouth like a prayer. His hands are practiced, sure as they drag the zipper down from the nape of your neck to the base of your spine. The fabric of your dress gapes forward until it’s around your waist.

Jake's eyes seem to glow in the moonlight as he takes in the simple black bra you're wearing, hands tender and hot as they drag over your bare skin, mouth wet and sharp as he drags his teeth across your collar bones.

“Mmm, baby.” His moan has you gasping, your body listing into his as he purrs the words into your skin. “I'm going to make you feel so good.”

When he lets go of you, your nipples are firm peaks in the cool air. When he removed your bra, you're not sure. All you know is you want him, desperately, urgently. Your panties feel like too much material as they cling to you, the gusset damp. Your hands are clumsy as you wrench the dress off, shaking as you peel your panties away from your skin, you flush as Jake's chuckles echo in your ears.

Divested of your clothes, you're faced with one of the prettiest sights of your life. Because, Jake’s standing there, with his belt unbuckled, and the jeans unbuttoned. His cock bulges out through the v-shaped opening, and your mouth waters as you look him over.

“God, Jake, please.” Your voice is a whine as you reach for him, fingers resting against his taut abdomen, back arched as you wait on all fours.

“I’ve got you baby.” 

His promises drip over your bare skin like hot and gentle summer rain. Your eyes close as he cups your jaw, the rustle of fabric foretelling his bare skin joining yours on the bed. You let him position you where he wants, drugged by the sensations of his big hands. You steal the opportunity to kiss him again, palms splayed over his pecs, and the cool chain of his dog tags brushing against your fingers. Falling into him is too easy. It’s just a series of kisses, a sweet tangle of tongues as you let him cradle you in his arms. Sparks of need, of want traverse your moon-stained skin, hips canting against his thigh in need.

“How long has it been since you’ve cum, sweetheart?” 

There’s amusement in his tone as you wrap your arms around his neck, breasts pillowed against his chest as you nudge his nose with your own.

“Just a couple of days ago.”

His chuckle makes you pout. 

“And how did you cum?”

He rolls you over, ghosting a kiss over your lips as he peers down at you. “Was it some guy you brought home? Who didn’t know how to make these pretty moans spill out of your mouth? Did he make you think of me the whole time?”

When you moan, it’s because he’s pressing into you, the stretch of him making your toes curl.

“N-no.” You screw your eyes up, trying to string the words together. “It was just me. With a vibrator, watching our video.”

“Fuck, there’s my good girl. Waiting for your Lieutenant Commander to make you scream, right?”

You’re so far beyond words all you can do is tug him down, fisting your hand in his hair until you can kiss him again. He’s just as eager to pull you in, hitching your legs up until they’re propped over his arms, keeping you spread open as he pistons his hips until you see stars. 

“Please, please, please.” 

You’re babbling, your orgasm crashing over you with each sharp thrust. Your moans intertwine with Jake’s guttural grunts as his hips stutter at their steady pace. It feels like you’ve been set on fire when you cum, pulsing waves of heat washing over your body. Jake’s shivering as he slumps over you, blanketing your body with his. His hair is sweat-damp as you card your fingers through the fluffy strands.

“Missed you, Jay.” 

“Missed you too, sweetheart.” The words are languid and soft, syrupy and sweet. 

It feels like you could fall in love with Lieutenant Commander Jake Seresin as he gathers you in his arms for what must be the hundredth time tonight to clean you up. Every glimpse of the man you see when he's not putting on his Hangman mask intrigues you more. There's a gentleness to him when he's like this, a secret softness shining past his imposing exterior. You want to know more. You have to know more. 

The realization of how little time you have left with Jake eviscerates you. Only two days left. Two days to love this man as much as you can. You can’t tell him how close you are to falling for him. Looking at his apartment, you have a feeling it would just scare him away. His apartment is almost austere, the off-white walls blending into the pale cream carpet on the floor. Everything is bare, with no pictures on the walls and no personality. It’s a trend throughout the entire space, everywhere but the bedroom. There's a cheery quilt at the foot of the bed. It's the only vibrant color in the apartment, the one thing which screams home.

“It's pathetic, isn't it?”  You jump at his words, gripping at the footboard of the bed in an effort to keep from falling.

“It's not pathetic, Jay. Just…” You turn, clad in the soft tee he'd pulled over you after the shower. “Just different than I expected.”

“I know what it looks like, sweetheart.” The same sad soft tone is in his voice again. “It looks like I don’t have any roots. Like I’m scared to let people in.”

He slides his arms around your waist, pressing a kiss on your shoulder, his golden hair dripping as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck. “Maybe that is the truth.” 

Your heart breaks a little at the soft surety in his voice, even as he does his best impression of a koala around you.

“Because like it or not, I’m going to leave one day. I’ll have to leave one day. Another deployment. Another mission. And chances are, I may not be coming home.”

You clutch at him tighter, because right now, you’re not sure you can think about him not being in San Diego the next time you’re here.

“I was okay with my reality.”

When you wrestle your way out of his grip, you’re maybe a little too rough, evidenced by the grimace on his face as you walk away. You’re not sure where you’re going but away has to be enough. You’re not sure you can face him after he’s said something like this. After all, here you are, ready to risk it all in a sultry cross-country romance, ready to give your heart to him, possibly years of your life to him. Then there he is, admitting so callously he might not be coming home one day.

You’re staring unseeingly at the stars when he slides his arms around you again.

“Are you okay, Shutterbug?” 

You lean back into him, because he feels perfect against you still.

“Shutterbug is new.” You’re trying to change the subject, because if he’s insistent about it, you’re going to explode.

“Nuh-uh.” His hands turn you around until you’re looking at him again. “Tell me what’s bothering you, pretty girl.”

“You’re so callous about how you’re ready to never come home again! Why would you say that to me, Jake? I’m ready to risk everything for you. A cross-country relationship, half here, half in New York or really, wherever it’s convenient for us to meet. If you’re not willing to do the same, then what is the point of what we just did?”

You’re choking back a sob as you stand in front of him. Your eyes are screwed closed, hands wringing the hem of the t-shirt clothing you. 

“Why does it matter that you missed me, and that I missed you?”

“It matters, because, sweetheart, you didn’t let me finish what I was going to say.”

Your arms wrap around his waist easily as he tugs you closer.

“I was going to say, I was okay never coming home before you. You’ve been running around in my head, the center of every thought, the subject of my every dream for three months. You kept me going when we were deployed, too. All I wanted was to come home safe so I could fly out to New York and see you again.”

“Now, at least I know I’ll be welcome when I come by.”

You’re smiling from ear to ear as you kiss the underside of his jaw.

“Yeah, you will be.”

You're still smiling as you walk into the Officer's Ready Room at North Island the next morning. You've got the same swagger you had in your step the first time you and Jake crashed together. Only this time, you have his phone number on your phone and the promise of a romantic dinner for two tonight. You'd be lying if you said you weren't still worried about the long distance relationship, spending half your life in New York and half here. But more than anything, you're ready for the challenge and excited to. At least you know who you're going home to - and, he knows who he is coming home to, as well.

Taglist:

@desert-fern @horseshoegirl @sarahsmi13s @teacupsandtopgun @dakotakazansky @roosterforme @beyondthesefourwalls @cherrycola27 @thedroneranger @a-reader-and-a-writer @hookslove1592 @mshistorylover @hangmanssunnies @kmc1989 @chaoticassidy

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN ON AO3, ON WATTPAD, OR ON TUMBLR BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN AO3, ON WATTPAD, OR TUMBLR, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

[penvisions]

wish i never met you {a garnish one shot}

Pairing: Chef! Joel Miller x Professor! Reader (formally known as Bartender! Reader)

Summary: Fear of rejection and messing up so beyond comprehension makes you regret crossing the professional line and getting to know Joel as you do now.

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: canon typical language, joel thinks he's the one in charge but we all know it's really reader, religious contemplation, mentions of past trauma, mentions of bad family dynamics, smoking, consumption of alcohol, menstruation, talk of menstruation, blood, cramps, muscle soreness, unorthodox pregnancy announcement, reader is a hot mess, allusions to adult content, allusions to smut, mentions of past p in v, might need to add more if i missed anything!

A/N: wrote this as part of a fun, silly fic title prompt game submission from a sweet anon. it totally inspired an angsty din piece at first that i have in my drafts but then these two slammed into my brain and hijacked the idea. i just love them, your honor. i have so much love for them. NOW I KNOW THIS SUBJECT MATTER ISN'T FOR EVERYONE, I REALLY DEBATED POSTING THIS OVER THE LAST FEW DAYS BC I KNOW IT'S NOT EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA but i feel like this is a good trajectory for these two, truly. i'm so sorry if anyone disagrees with the direction i took this in and i hopei t doesn't take away from the original series for y'all

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

“No, fuck off.” Was the quick response to a wide palm caressing over your back. You were hunched over your crossed legs on the couch, aware of how bad the position was for your posture. But it was the only way to find any relief on your aching back. You had thought it was cramps at first, really, but then you realized all the symptoms of your monthly cycle fell in line with something else when the bleeding never started.

“Excuse me, darlin’? You sure you wanna use that language with me?” Joel’s deep voice was tinged with an edge, giving you the chance to retract your expletives. You were never so outright with your denial, never wanting to deny the man a few feet away. But the way in which you had expressed it to an obviously exhausted Joel was maybe too bold for the late hour. But you didn’t take it, instead repeating yourself.

“Kindly, fuck off. Don’t touch me.” You pulled away from him, hunching lower under his hand to break the contact.

“That’s not much better, ya know.” Joel’s hands shifted to his waist, a thick brow raised as he took in the sight of you nearly balled up, the faint light of the screen lighting up your face as you ignored him.

A harsh contraction of your muscles had you groaning out, “I wish I never met you.”

“C’mon now, you don’t mean that.” Joel huffed, trying to keep his calm, but you knew it was hard for him even if you really didn’t feel all that good. You never took your pain or frustration out on him like this, it was always soft murmurs of ‘hold me’ or ‘can I borrow your warmth’. Never the way you were reacting now.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into y-“ His mouth snapped shut, eyes focusing on the screen. On the words you had typed into the search engine. Normally he would tease you over the typos, your fingers not working as quick as you mind for all the grace and focus you normally had to expertly wield a sharp knife.

 Your heart thumped at the sudden silence. The fizzling tension that had filled the room.

“Don’t!” You gasped out, slamming the laptop closed and shielding the device with your body completely.

“Darlin’…” You swore you could hear the cogs turning in his head. Thinking back on the depraved as desperate way you had been seeking him out when he returned home from a late shift at the restaurant even despite the haze of sleep, in the mornings before you had to peel yourself away to go to campus, the photos you had brazenly sent him without warning that had him shielding or turning his phone over throughout the day. Thinking back on the way you had been inhaling food at any occasion, none of your normal contemplation or silence after what you considered a binge. Thinking back on the way you had begun to complain of your work clothing feeling wrong and too tight on your aching body as you dressed in the morning.

When he moved to sit on the other side of the couch, far too close for comfort, you shied away and pressed your back into the arm on your end.

“Not gonna touch ya, you have my word.” He raised his hands placatingly, his expression so soft that the tears burst from you without warning.

“You do-don’t wanna touch me. Not anymo-more.” Hiccups jolted your body, making the skin you were already uncomfortable in tingle. “I ruined ev-everything.”

He regarded you with a small frown, his plush lips pulled down as he clasped his hands together in his lap. Just as he opened his mouth to speak the words flew from you.

“I remember what you said, on the line.” You narrowed your eyes at him as they echoed in your head.

‘It had been a slow day, prep and cleaning taking over most of the evening shift. It had been back before you had taken on a role in the kitchen. Sneaking fries from the bowl of them on the expo line. They hadn’t been hot or even salted, but they were better than snacking on the fruity garnishes at the bar.

He had been passing the time with who you hadn’t known at the time was his brother, Tommy. Who had driven into the city to help take a look at the empty lot beside the restaurant, both of them contemplating the construction of a patio. But they had ended up in the kitchen, hunger too strong a call.

While Joel was on the line, Tommy was beside you, sneaking fries with a wink in your direction. But you ignored him, focused on looking through the catalogue of one of your vendors. Trying to make a seasonal menu. But your ears caught the harsh grunt of the man your eyes trailed over in the midst of busy nights.

“Wouldn’t do it, no.”

“C’mon, you seriously tellin’ me you wouldn’t baby sit for me if I were to gift you with a niece or nephew.”

“No, ‘m too old. Hire a babysitter.”

“You’re full of it ‘n you know it.”

“Brother, a baby is a lot of work. Now, your baby? Even more so.” Joel leveled his brother with a look that silenced any other argument on the matter.’

The moment he realized what you were talking about, his brows flew up into his hairline and he breathed out a hearty chuckle.

“Darlin’, I was just givin’ him a hard time. You gotta know that.”

“I didn’t know you.” You stood up from the couch, body protesting the movement. Cupping a hand over your mouth, you breathed harshly as you tried to tamp down a bout of nausea. “And now that I do, I’m gonna have to consider literally everything on my own and I’m gonna hate how much it hurts to not know you any longer. I wish I-“

“No,” He sighed, brow furrowing before he pinned you with a serious expression. “You do know me now and I wouldn’t turn my back on you, on this. I’m in it, pretty girl, no matter what you decide to do.”

When you whipped away from him, shuddering breaths wracking your sore body, the crack of your voice on a sob spurred him into motion. His arms came around you slowly, giving you the chance to retreat if it wasn’t something you wanted. But you let him, the feel of his chest warm and soothing on your aching back. The push of his soft stomach comforting. His chin hooked over a shoulder, and he spoke in such a somber tone.

“Darlin’, I always thought I was too old to do this again. But I haven’t crossed fifty quite yet and the thought of you carrying my child, of loving me and my child. God, I would give anything for it to be our future. To see you blossom into yourself more, to show our baby the same devotion you give to everything in your life, you deserve somewhere to put all your love.”

One of his hands moved over the one you had on your middle. Holding you so secure, holding you both so secure.

“Joel…it’s a lot. It’s….we’re not even-“ You turned in his arms, facing him. His beautiful, open expression so full of love and adoration, all of it for you. Your heart melted in your chest, dripping low to flutter in your stomach. You weren’t even overtly religious, left over from the trauma of your childhood. Of being forced to attend mass and important holidays alongside your grandparents. The denial of your father never urging you to seek out a higher power in replacement. But the thought of technically being single and going through something like this. It made you afraid.

“There’s a ring in my sock drawer. Got it the day of our first do over date. ‘s why I was so close to the campus. It’s yours. I’m yours. This could be yours. But only if you want it.” Joel’s forehead lightly thumped against yours as he pressed in close. His breath a warm wash over your face, smelling faintly of cigarette smoke.

Looking between each of his eyes, searching for any hint of hesitancy from him it was quiet. When you didn’t find any, you felt a smile pull at your lips as you nodded your head in affirmation. Wet laughter bubbling up as his lips pressed to yours, a smile of his own for you to feel on them.

“But I still expect you to propose, can’t skip any steps with me. I know you think you’re hot shit with being crowned the city’s most prolific chef of the year but I swear to-“

He cut you off with another kiss, his moustache ticking your upper lip as he nipped at your bottom one.

“I don’t wanna miss any steps with ya, darlin’. I’m here for ‘em all.”

It was hard to ignore the stirring of other feelings in your body, drowning out the aches and pains. But when realization hit you, you pulled back with wide eyes.

“We’re gonna have to stop drinking and smoking!”

“We?”

taglist: @tuquoquebrute @jessthebaker @littlemisspascal @76bookworm76 @hiddenbabynyc @clevergirl74 @anavatazes @samiamproductions @sarap-77 @honeyedmiller @undercoverpena

[littlejuicebox]

LittleJuicebox Masterlist

Click here for my AO3 account. (Converting is a WiP).

If you’d like to be added to a tag list, please DM me and I can send you the google doc link. I have decided to keep tag lists for each individual series so you only get tagged in the ones you want.

My personal favorites are denoted by a +.

GN reader is denoted by a * otherwise assume Fem reader/OC.

Titles colored red are smut or other mature themes, 18+ only.

AstarionxWren Series:

This is a canon-adjacent passion project which focuses on Astarion and Wren, a ranger half-elf with her own backstory. She is based off my first Tav. Do you like angsty slow burns where two broken people find one another and learn to love again? Then this one is for you.

Chapter 1 / Chasing birds to get high (PG) + Chapter 2 / Between comfort and chaos (PG) Chapter 3 / Sunshine and midnight rain (PG13) + Chapter 4 / Protect the flames (M/Gore) Chapter 5 / Blue and silver bonded (PG13) Chapter 6 / Remember how it feels to have a heartbeat (PG13) Chapter 7 / Give peace a chance (M/Smut) + Chapter 8 / Dancing in a burning room (M/Gore) Chapter 9 / Lavender haze (PG-PG13?) Chapter 10 / I want to hold your hand (PG13)

Midnight Chimes Series:

Your parents own a tavern in Baldur’s Gate, and Astarion was somewhat of a regular when you worked at the bar in your younger years. You don’t exactly trust him. Now you’re an apothecary owner based in Waterdeep, and when the two of you crash on the beach, you aren’t exactly thrilled to see him there, too. But things aren’t always what they seem.

1 / The Prologue +

2 / Three years

3 / Luck +

4/ Ringleader

Midwinter Carol Series:

Eirianwen and Astarion were in love before the Ascension ritual changed his behavior toward her. She refused to become a spawn, and they went their separate ways. The story starts when they run into one another fifteen years later; Eirianwen returned to the city to deliver some news to the pale elf. Meanwhile, the Ascendant had a night time visitor that convinced him to change his ways, and he believes his ex-lover might be the key. Will he be able to change after fifteen years of living life as a debauched degenerate?

1 / The Prologue +

2 / The Barrier

3 / The Carriage

4 / The Auction +

5/ The Repeat

6/ The Affliction

7/ The Interrogation

8/ The Scheme

9/ The Snake

AstarionxReader One Shots and Mini-Stories:

Mini-Stories are grouped together in order and denoted by a “Part X” in sequential order after the title. These are in general "timeline" order and follow my (admittedly self-indulgent) headcanon for Spawn Astarion x Tav but can definitely be read as OneShots. All stories are AstarionxReader, some allusions to reader having spellcaster ability but otherwise no real description apart from being female in about 3/4 of the fics.

Act 1-2:

The little things.

Before someone steals your queen

Act 3:

Drunken nights*+

The nail salon

You'll stay still, won't you, little love? +

Post-BG3:

Mermaid whiskey+

Baking Cookies*

Astarion talks in his sleep Part 1*+

My Sun, My Moon Part 2+

Glowing in the Underdark+

Reflections on one year of marriage

Highharvestide Part 1

Highharvestide Part 2

Handmade+

Dadstarion:

The wish spell worked.+

Daddy?

Little bump.

Labor and joy

Skin to skin.

Milk.+

Little lockpick.

Beach babies.+

A growing brood.

Puppy love.

Stuck.

Pre-BG3 / Random / Ascended Astarion OneShots

Midnight chimes / The Original One Shot

Pre-BG3. You’ve known Astarion for years… or at least, you’ve known of him. You think he’s a rake, but one night he changes your mind. The series "Midnight Chimes" started based off this "prologue."

A Midwinter Carol / The Original One Shot

“A Christmas Carol” but Ascended Astarion is Scrooge. He sees you after your break up 15 years ago, and then has an unexpected nighttime visitor showing him past, present, and future. Will he be convinced to change his ways? The series "Midwinter Carol" started based off this "prologue."

Naughty or Nice?

You’re Ascended Astarion’s little toy in the middle of a party. TLDR; he’s tease and a BDSM dom.

Dancing on my own

[delulu-archives]

Love in Vinyl (Jeon Wonwoo x Reader)

If you were to create an extended play about your relationship with Wonwoo, this would be it. Your title track? To You - a perfect symphony about how a love yours feels like. You and Wonwoo found your safe place to land - each other. And like music in vinyl, every ridge and groove of your relationship makes up the perfect music.

Note: Wonwoo x producer!reader, smut, fluff, slow-burn, multiple scenarios, friends to lovers, AU, unedited Disclaimer: Dear reader, please bear in mind that this is an AU, hence there might be some scenes that may not be as cohesive as real-life, but I did try my best to match the timelines. This is a longer one-shot containing various parts inspired by different songs. Then, it would be followed with more chapters of shorter music-inspired one-shots from within your timelines. 💜 Word count: 23,229 SECOND FIC IS HERE, DARLINGS! Read Love me Lights Out here.

I love Wonwoo so much and I need an outlet for my delulu self, that I am now willing to share with you, world. :) this is the first ever fic I am posting here in Tumblr so pleease forgive all the mushy stuff. I really hope you'd like it, though. Enjoy, darlings. 💗💙

I pour my blood, sweat, tears, and delulu dusts to write this. Please help me protect my work while reaching more delulu darlings who may find escape here, too. 💜 Cross-posted in AO3 (theloveofthunder17)

You, I always need you I step still further away Only the rough wind lingers around me So, I always need you You're the only one for my breathless self Oh, even if we're facing each other, I still miss you Hey, even without saying anything You're the only one that who understands me Today I'll go to your arms too (Hey, hey, hey, hey) I'm grateful to you, who greets me whenever I open the door In a swirling day You've given me a piece of happiness You've placed all of the smiles in the world in my hands So even if I run out of breath on a steep road Even when I lose my path during a cold day We're still holding hands with warmth Nothing is easier than I thought Thinking about what should I do everyday When I think I've arrived, I'm back to the start Even when the dark is ahead of me, oh-ooh-oh Ooh, during the swirling days I can run without any fears Because of our faith that we still kept Because I'm so grateful, I'm in tears How can I repay all of this? To you, to you The story I want to express To you, to you I want to say more things like this Oh-oh, in a swirling wind If there's an eternal love Then you're that person

You weren't really prepared for your life to change when you first worked for Big Hit, a relatively small, start-up company that somehow put faith in your skills and your eagerness. You were penniless, basically living off minimum wage you earn as you pursued your course in university alongside working with BTS since their debut. You started as an intern, a researcher for such a small company you took as a steppingstone to your career. You were working with only handful of producers then, hence gaining the exposure while putting double work developed you massively. It was baptism by fire, they always told you. With of your determination and grit, you soon became a segment producer and made your way as one of the regular producers of their contents. You were present during concerts and shows, filming and drafting ideas so your skills expanded tenfold while you were growing your network, too. You were part of the massive shift in BTS' career and the agency's success. You were there as the team behind the camera grew from a few people to hundreds as years passed by.

You were one of the most trusted, most tenured producers, growing and learning with the boys and the company. You proved your innate talent as you became one of the brains behind their hit 'healing' contents such Bon Voyage and Run BTS, documentaries, and many other social networking releases that helped them reach a global scale. Those years were a whirlwind – pure chaos but utterly amazing in its own way.

BigHit continued growing as BTS continued to triumph internationally, bridging borders across the globe. The company's growth meant a lot of acquisitions and partnerships with relatively similar labels the head of the agency fostered good working relationships with, and that was when Pledis entered your world. As an independent company such as BigHit before, both companies somehow built close ties from the higher ups, knowing both were relatively smaller companies compared to the giants. It was a perfect partnership, truly. Gradually, even the respective production teams had built connection and network, driven mainly by the encouragement of the senior management.  

By early 2018, you started being more involved with both companies as part of continuous partnership initiatives. The producers often welcomed your expertise because you always offered fresh perspectives, from an angle of someone so pivotal to the successful contents and program releases of BTS for the past five years and from someone around the same age of the artists and the fanbases. You struck the perfect balance every time.

You have met some of Pledis' artists before through working with BTS, seeing them during shows, networking with Pledis producers, or casually interacting with them around the industry. With the changing dynamics however, you were eager to know more about the group on a more professional and personal manner. You spent time researching about them and getting to know them through their managers and producers, and of course the contents they had already released before. Their beginnings were much like your beloved BTS – they started from the bottom and slowly continued making their name known in the scene – SEVENTEEN. They were just nearly a 3-year-old group then, still fresh, and still discovering the many things they could bring to the table. With immense innate talent they possess, you were certain they'd be one of the most successful groups, and you were right.

"Everyone, this Y/N. She's going to be one of the producers for some of our contents and she came time to meet you all."

You found yourself in a middle of the room surrounded by the members after their debrief session for one of their Going Seventeen Spin-off shooting day. You were present during the whole shoot, watching and observing how these individuals work and just how comfortable and easy to work with they are. Your friend and mentor who happened to work with BigHit before requested your presence there, given that he's one of the long-time producers of the show. 

"You all behave," the producer teased the team, leaving you all in the room for some time to get to know each other.

"Hello everyone."

"Hello, PD-nim." The members greeted you, with Seungcheol politely asking you to sit and feel comfortable, and you did. 

They looked excited with the introduction of a new staff member and you immediately felt the positive energy everyone radiated. You immediately thought this was going to be easier than what you had initially expected.

"Hope you still have energy? I'll try and make it as quick as possible." Your whole persona exuded a different type of energy that the team found refreshing, as if your wavelength would also match theirs and instead of senior staff members they were used to working with, your youthful take on things was something they were all looking forward to. 

"We're okay, PD-nim." The leader piped in and everyone agreed. "It's still early!"

The room was filled with hums and excited murmurs so you wanted to sustain that energy. Instead of your usual laptop, you took out pens and sticky notes from your bag to distribute it to the team for a quick activity.

"I am quite unconventional so I would like to get to know you guys personally through this game and would also allow you to ask me questions so you can get to know me." You explained looking around the room as the men started to show curiosity despite it being the first time you actually got to meet them. You reckoned it was because it was something new to them.

"Y/N-noona, you know us all already?" Mingyu asked, his bright smile lighting up the mood and surprising everyone with how casual he was with you. He had been smiling at you since he saw you that day but you already warned him beforehand to not let the team know just yet. You met him several times already through Jungkook and learned just how how much of a golden retriever he is, so refreshing for a man standing 6'2".

"Hey! I've met you guys before! It's just that I was always nagging BTS behind camera."

"Ah you're the scary PD-nim!" Minghao exclaimed, earning laughter from the team.

"I suppose I am, yeah. But again, I know you guys."

"Shall we test it, PD-nim? Whether you really know us?" DK, the group's sunshine, suggested and the team all agreed. The whole thing did not feel intimidating for them at all even though you'd be working as their producer.

"It's Y/N. You can just call me Y/N. But challenge accepted! I watch a lot of your contents, you know." A soft smile crept into your lips as you recited their full-names and stage names as you pointed at them in order they are seated, even included the nicknames the fans use to refer to them or their iconic lines. A collective 'woahs' filled the room at how accurate you were. You could see their walls breaking gradually which was the goal of the meeting - to establish the familiarity and ease before even working with them.

"And last but not the least... 울고 싶지 않아 (Ulgo sipji ana/I don't want to cry)". Your sweet voice resonated around the room followed by the cheers and howls from the members, while your turned your gaze towards quietest man in the room, meeting those kind eyes behind his thick glasses. Knowing how to read the room and adjust your approach, you reckoned it would need a little more effort to make Jeon Wonwoo more comfortable and participative, especially that you were a new face. Wonwoo emitted such a kind aura with a hint of mischief, and you were certain you'd enjoy seeing him break out of his shell through the programmes you'd produce.  Your attempt at building rapport was quickly rewarded, earning a nod and a warm yet shy smile from him. It made your stomach flutter and Seokjin was the only person who managed to affect you like that before.  

"Alright, in that piece of paper I gave, I want you to write the simplest thing that excites you the most when working on contents such as Going Seventeen outside being musicians and idols, and from there, I'll guess who it might belong to. If you have questions for me, put it there, too."

You watched them intently as they endlessly bickered, teased, and gathered ideas from one another. You loved the chemistry and relationship they have almost immediately. Clapping your hands to get their attention, you gathered the papers and opened it one after the other. You read interesting and simple things they wrote such as 'fun activities', 'prize', 'food', 'mafia', 'travel', 'games and money' and the likes. The hour was filled with laughter as you answered those who asked a question and tried guessing based on this. 

"What he likes - gaming and would like to try travelling. His question for me - 'Who are you?' Wow such a straightforward one." You snorted as you read one of the papers, rolling your eyes playfully as they hollered, shouting it was Wonwoo for sure. "Is it yours?" You turned to the man whose ears were turning red as you clutched your chest feigning heartache which made the team tease him more as he admitted he wrote it.

"Alright then, who am I? Wonwoo, I am BTS' favourite producer, and I have a feeling that I will be Seventeen's most favourite producer soon enough, too."  

The members cheered, clapping their hands as Mingyu led them to chant your name, "Y/N-noona! Y/N-noona!"

"Don't tell the other PDs I said that. It's a secret."

One particular paper made you laugh, it was Hoshi's, saying that he mostly enjoys being a tiger and being a star but then followed by a question about their seniors, "How different is BTS? What can we learn from them?"

You paused and considered the question, looking at the team in the eyes, "They are not much different. Like you, they started from the bottom - working day in and day out, breaking barriers and crushing bigotry and racism. They are so much like you than you'd imagine, that's why I think you all get along well every time you work together." 

The team nodded and hummed, as if pondering what you just said. Mingyu also agreed, given that he already heard many stories about the band from Jungkook. 

"What can you learn from them? Be human because you are humans. You cry, you get angry, you get tired, you fall, you stand, you laugh, you fight, you rejoice, too. You eat, you shower, hopefully, you take care of yourself, but most importantly, you love. You love what you do, you love yourself, you love each other. It will make a difference in this wild industry you are in. You love."

There was moment shared between you and the members, a quiet one with only knowing smiles and glances around the room. It was evident that it was going to be the start of a harmonious work-life with them.

Since early 2018, you were able to foster good working relationship and friendship with the members, as part of the producers for Going Seventeen Spin-off.  From 2019 onwards, you became a regular around their studio, especially with more talks around agency mergers becoming more and more apparent from the management to senior staff levels. With your brilliant mind, you become more involved in conceptualizing contents and special episodes for Going Seventeen, earning you a title as of one of their most loved and most hated producers at all times. You later became one of the brains behind TTT, Don't Lie, Ego, and Bad Clue series which were all loved not only by the fans but also the members themselves.

Being just at the same age as Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua, it was naturally easy for them to trust and build connection with you, much like how you were with BTS. Everyone became comfortable around you quickly, with your presence offering some sort of normality among individuals who are always under the spotlight. "You're not just a producer but a great friend and 'noona'. I am really thankful." Dino, ever so precious, reminded you after a tedious working day for everyone. There were no pressure working with you even when you were running things in the background no matter how scary and serious you can become sometimes — just some of many reasons why they love you.

Since you started working with them, there were members who had grown closest to you such as the 95z, Hoshi, Dino, and Minghao but surprisingly, there was another one who grew to love your presence – Wonwoo.

Admittedly, Wonwoo was not the easiest one to get to know — he had always been reserved and observant, laughing on the side lines and supporting his team, but somehow, he felt comfortable with you. With how wild and loud the other team members can get, you understood that Wonwoo would not fight for that limelight, and while not intentional, being quiet also meant he sometimes felt as though no one was listening to him. Of course, Jeonghan and Mingyu are always there for him, but with your arrival however, he felt more understood and seen. It was rare for him to foster such close relationship with anyone that easily, but with you, it was a breeze. "As easy as breathing," he once told you.

Wonwoo would often receive teasing gaze and smirks from the team whenever you were in the studio working or even getting their ideas from them, even when you were still just doing small projects before. He always found himself beside you during breaks, talking about everything under the sun - from the games he discovered, or the latest restaurant he tried, or more interesting and controversial topics. The two of you could easily get lost in hours after hours of random conversations and even arguments which challenged both of your perceptions - his practical and rational mindset and your more creative and idealist mindset. You became comfortable enough to share stories of your childhood, hardships, or even concerns without fear of judgment despite differences. You became close enough to even know each other's families. You were always in your own little bubble, enjoying each other's company as if you had been best friends forever. You thought that was the beauty of it - the build up of your friendship was organic. 

Wonwoo was never the one to fall quickly — always sure-footed and rational even in that regard. However, he was always a little too excited whenever you were around, and you were always in his mind whenever you were not around — something he would not necessarily admit. He felt it, though, and allowed himself to bask in that new feeling.

You on the other hand was always focused on your career - the schedule was hectic alone to even pay attention to being in a relationship. In reality, you had carefully built your walls since you started working in the industry, but somehow, someway, Wonwoo managed to slowly break your guards down.

You were not certain when it started – the silly banters, the teasing, the sweet gestures, and more moments spent alone you both always looked forward to - but it happened. 

In such chaos around you, you and Wonwoo found a safe place to land – each other. 

Around July of 2019, you produced SVT Travel episodes for GoSe. New York, a perfect location for the boys to film such content. The city had everything to offer, and it was right on time as they were set to perform as one of the artists for KCon that year. They were the most anticipated artist there and you knew how enthusiastic they were about it too. Prior to the event, they were given a chance to roam around New York on their own and explore the city by group, Bon Voyage style. Every one made the most out of their travel, enjoying everything in the city from food, parks, and even the shops.

They were quite bummed you were not there for their travel vlog though it was you who made it possible to squeeze in that content and allow them to enjoy. There was a conflict in schedule, but you told them you'd try. They knew you would be preoccupied with project commitments and would not be around for a while because you were busy preparing for BTS' New Zealand trip that September for the fourth season of Bon Voyage. Everything was manic with BTS going on an extended break before their trip, and still being one of the head producers for BV, you were naturally occupied, too.

However, your heart yearned to be in New York for more reasons than you cared to admit. So while it seemed impossible, you tried finishing all the work and preparations so you can squeeze in the time to fly to NYC.

And of course, you did.

While you were not there for KCon, you found yourself walking in the streets of the concrete jungle the night before a special occasion - Wonwoo's birthday.

Nobody knew you were coming except from some staff members, Seungcheol, and by extension Jeonghan. They told you they planned something for him so you can surprise the birthday boy who had been sulking for the past few days. Birthday blues, they assumed, so they wanted it to be special for the man who would not normally demand anything.

They said they would have late dinner so they can still be up drinking until midnight, which was not uncommon at all. You already experienced their random drinking sessions before and was impressed with how they can hold their liquor, except Hoshi and Seungkwan, of course.

It was right on time with your arrival at NYC at 10:00 PM. That gave you ample time to settle down in your hotel nearby the place they were staying in. At around 11:30 PM, Jeonghan gave you a head's up that they were all together, drinking and eating, and asked you to come before midnight. You arrived by the door of their accommodation few minutes before 12:00 AM of 17 July, just enough time for the surprise.

Your loud knock broke through their laughter and Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and the others who kept up with the secret asked Wonwoo to open it, reasoning that he was the closest to the door.

"Yah! It's my birthday and you're ordering me around!"

He complained but being an angel that he naturally is, obliged. It was the most perfect timing -- the clock struck midnight as Wonwoo turned the knob and opened the door to you holding a cake with a cute little candle lit up. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened as if he could not believe you were there, wishing him a happy birthday along with the members.

"Make a wish." You gave him your gentle smile and lifted the cake towards him. Speechless, Wonwoo closed his eyes, put his hands together for a wish, and blew the candle. Everyone cheered, clapped, and hugged him - all pleased with how the man responded to the small surprise. It was loud but Wonwoo felt as though you were the only person around that moment. His eyes remained glued to you, as if trying to convince himself he was not dreaming.

In a blink, he engulfed you in his embrace, his head buried against your neck. "You're here," he breathed out as he tightened his arms around you.

You swore you could feel his shy smile against your skin.

"Happy birthday, Wonwoo." You mumbled, rubbing his back soothingly as you wrapped your arms around him with equal affection and care.

Unbeknown to the both of you, the members were already giggling and whispering how dense you both were about each other's feelings.

-

New York was even more beautiful than you imagined. You had been there before, but somehow, that summer bloomed differently - it was brighter, more colourful, and more alive. You tried convincing yourself it really was like that but you second-guessed whether it was because you were already smitten with the man you were spending the day with. Either way, you had no complaints. 

With how famous he was, you knew it would be impossible to spend the day with just the two of you alone given that they also headlined a huge concert just few days back. Wonwoo was adamant to spend the day with just the two of you, but you managed to convince him to bring the guys. They all deserved that break after all, so it was just perfect.

You all decided to spend the day at Six Flags, getting lost and enjoying the wide variety of activities offered in the amusement park. The members and some managers were around, but they gave you space per Wonwoo's request without your knowledge.

You spent the day sightseeing together, getting on various rides, enjoying meals and several desserts, and just being silly kids - with playful matching headbands, even. For someone you constantly tease as part of the iron deficiency line, Wonwoo seemed to have all the energy in the world that day.

You spent few hours together until the members called to let you know that the firework show was about to start. Hurriedly, you and Wonwoo went to the centre-ground just before the bright, colourful explosions glimmered under the dark velvet sky, capping the celebration with a perfect view.

Everyone was in awe of the grand display, as expected. 

You, on the other hand, found the man beside you more fascinating than the show glittering the sky. You watched the reflection against his glasses and his almond eyes, admiring how the colours lit up his perfect face while his lips curled in his signature small smile as he expertly took photos of the show. He looked even more breathtaking. This man was crafted so carefully you were sure the universe spent more time perfecting him.

The thud in your chest was relentless, and when you thought things couldn't get better, it did. You felt Wonwoo's hands twining with yours as he turned towards you and smiled, "Thank you for making this the best birthday ever."

You could not speak, but he knew what you wanted to say. The way your hand tightened around his and the way your eyes shone as you met his gaze were enough answers for him.

I’m ready to love Tell me, can we stay together? Can we stay together? I’m a fool of love for you My heart by your side forever, by your side forever My feelings grew after I met   you Just friends that’s  not enough for  me First time feeling my heart race Never thought it’d beat so fast All I wanna do is run away Cause you are my escape Love has no limit, I want an answer Already know, yeah That expression lost in thought My secret recipe to make you feel better The moment my eyes saw you Everything’s clear No need to say a word First time feeling my heart race Never thought it’d beat so fast All I wanna do is run away Cause you are my escape Just need you to be ready With each passing day My emotions keep growing I don’t wanna waste any more I want to run for you Run away to the other side of the world Take my hand Still I run away Trust me now To fill my heart to the top Like you're short of breath (let me) You give me purpose

The trip in NYC was nothing short of magical. It was beautiful to have been able to spend time with them, but most especially Wonwoo. You weren't sure about what was going on with the two of you just yet, and somehow it started to scare you how much deeper you were falling for him. It was an oath you swore to yourself before - to not fall in love with the people you were working with, especially the artists. It was impossible not to, you finally realised, especially with how things naturally played out with you and Wonwoo. 

Instead of focusing on that however, you occupied yourself with preparations for the fourth season of Bon Voyage and had not visited the studio for nearly two months. Aside from how busy you were, you also went to New Zealand to film with BTS hence you were also not around for the first shows they had for Ode to You tour.

Your jampacked schedule did not mean that your mind was completely rid of Wonwoo. He was able to infiltrate your thoughts and emotions throughout - sending you food and coffee in your office, calling during odd hours of day to ask how you were, or even sending random selcas with the members. You missed being with him for sure, and those silly things made you yearn for him.

One thing that stuck to you however, was when you received a call late in September, few days before your scheduled return. They were filming the 2019 Camping TTT that time and you weren't sure why your phone rang at nearly midnight. Seeing his name on the screen however, you perked up.

"Hello?"

"M-miss you so much." He slurred, followed by a hiccup. Your breath hitched.

"Hey, Won. You okay?"

"N-no."

"Why? What happened?"

"You forgot about me already." Despite the static on the line, you could hear the slight pout with the way he whined. 

"I would never." You chuckled, "wait, are you drunk?"

"Lovedrunk. Yes. With you."

"Wonwoo —"

You could not even finish your question when the line dropped.

You were dumbfounded. Would he even remember what be said once he woke up the following day? Those thoughts keep you awake that night. 

-

As scheduled, you came back after nearly two months of being MIA in the Caratland to produce the SVT Playground episode of Going Seventeen which was one of the goofiest episodes they enjoyed filming - simple and innocent, a trip down memory lane. It was a chance for them to be young again and forget the heavy weight of their stardom despite the cameras around.

For you and Wonwoo, however, it was the game changer. 

While you grew closer than ever even before, something shifted with the way Wonwoo treated you since New York and that phone call the previous week. He became a little more gentle, softer, and more thoughtful with you. On the other hand, the sweet gestures became bolder and more noticeable. The way he stared at you lingered without him trying to hide it and there was a new spark in his eyes whenever he did so. The tone of his voice when talking to you turned sweeter, flirtier, even.

That day, he became more intentional with his display of affection either by tucking your hair behind your ears or wrapping an arm around your shoulders or waist for no reasons at all. Those gestures, while not not new, developed gradually over the past months that you did not even notice them becoming more apparent. Not until New York. Not until that playground day when you felt it so deep.

Adding to your dilemma about your feelings, Jeonghan and Seungcheol were also actively watching the turn of events. They had always known about it, so as the other members who were close to the two of you, while you and Wonwoo try to mask or avoid your feelings.

"What's with you and Wonu?" The leader asked teasingly during the filming break, flashing his gummy smile and wiggling his brows. "He finally confessed?"

"Huh?" You cocked your head in confusion.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan burst out laughing, shaking their heads and looking at each other as if sharing an inside joke, and you reckoned they might be aware of that drunk call Wonwoo made. 

"Eeeeeyy, you both need to come to your senses. It's been more than a year of you trying to deny how whipped you both are for each other." Jeonghan casually remarked before they went back filming when the director called their attention. You scolded yourself. Were you really that obvious? 

As you watched the during the filming, you could not help but be drawn towards Wonwoo – his laugh, his whiny pouts, his voice, and even the way he ran to you whenever he had the chance to, pretending to get candies or drink water or seek assistance in putting on eye-drops - all these just so he can get close you.

You couldn't help but think about how since you met over a year ago, he has always been present and always ensured you felt it. Your natural chemistry was obvious to everyone around you, but somehow, you both refused to acknowledge it.

That day changed it, though. The butterflies and racing heartbeat were abiding throughout the day.

Remembering how he held your hand in New York only sealed the obvious truth you were trying to avoid for months.

It finally dawned to you that you had plummeted. Your walls completely crumbled down and you were left defenceless, all for and because of Wonwoo.

-

Majority of the team members and staff went home once you arrived in the building after the shoot, but you stayed inside your dark office, working on some of your ideas for the next content and pulling another all-nighter. You wanted to finish it, as you were going to be busy with some filming preparations in line with upcoming documentary for SVT you would be co-producing.

While you were preoccupied with your work, Wonwoo noticed your office door ajar with lights still open and he knew there could only be one reason. He bid goodbye to Joshua who was walking with him saying he'd follow in the carpark and the man nonchalantly agreed, leaving Wonwoo alone.

Wonwoo entered the studio discreetly, seeing you ever busy typing your notes, talking to yourself with eyes laser focused on the screen. He always loved watching you in your element, so fascinating how your mind works he would often say. He even bought you a wireless mechanical keyboard to help you when typing away your ideas so that it would be easier and more comfortable. That was just another excuse of course, he bought it because it matches his gaming keyboard and you once told him you love the click-clacks of it. He hoped that somehow, he'd cross your mind even when you are working. He reached his goal - you carry that keyboard and think about him everywhere you work.

He leaned against the door frame for quite some time just admiring your unwavering strength and passion before sneaking behind you like a cat that he is. Placing a hand on your shoulder, he spoke softly, "Aren't you leaving yet?"

You jumped in surprise as you felt his warm hands against you, "You scared me!" You shrieked, playfully punching him as you clenched your chest with your other hand.

"Ah! Sorry, sorry." He snickered, pulling the other chair to sit beside you and you locked your laptop hide the script you were working on for the next special episode.

"Why are you still here? Have the others left?"

"Mhm, they did. How long are you staying?" He inquired, already reaching for his phone from his pocket with his eyes never leaving yours. "I'll wait for you. I can text Shua-hyung to go ahead, he is waiting for me."

You tilted your head, puzzled, "Why? You should go, it was a long day. You have early shoot tomorrow, too."

Wonwoo just shook his head. There was that unspoken connection and understanding built between you since you met. Both of you are intuitive individuals, and you both see through things than what meets the eye, perhaps that's why you mesh well. His warm eyes searched yours as if conveying things he could not muster just yet. "I'll stay and wait. No matter how long it takes."

There was a pregnant pause, the air thinning as your heart pounded against your chest. You wanted to assume it was just about waiting for you and nothing else, but his deep voice and the sincerity behind it was too serious. "How sweet of you, Won, but Joshua's waiting and you need to rest, too." Your voice was gentle, but there was a little quiver as you tried steadying it despite how he was making you feel.

"Eh, but I want to be here with you." His perfect lips puckered into an adorable pout as he whined, eyes twinkling under the warm dimmed light of the office as they remained glued to you. "You can't convince me otherwise."

You beamed. Like a complete idiot.

Your inner lady laughed hysterically at just how insane Wonwoo drives you no matter what he does.

"Wonwoo, you need to go home. Your managers will kill me if they found out you stayed here." You insisted, pressing a hand on his forearm as if to comfort him, and he felt your warmth through the sweatshirt he was wearing. "I'll be fine, I promise."

He sighed, finally surrendering to your request. "One condition then..." he paused and turned your swivel chair so you could face him completely. You saw that glint in his eyes - a hint of teasing mischief that eventually shifted into something warm, like fuel coaxing embers to burst into flames.

"Fine. What is it?"

The tension was palpable and your voice barely came out as you tried grounding yourself when he dragged your chair closer. He did not answer you just yet, instead with an intense gaze, he started leaning towards you, nose brushing against yours as you froze in your seat. 

"This."

He hushed, and before he chickened out, pressed his soft lips against yours.

Your breathing ceased.

The world paused.

There was nothing but silence and the pounding of both your hearts.

The fireworks show in NYC was no match against the fireworks going off in your head that moment.

It was all surreal until you felt his trembling hand ever so gently cupping your face. The surge of emotions was brimming as you withdrew slowly, eyes wide at what just transpired. You blinked rapidly, trying to wake yourself up from the beautiful dream or delusion that it was.

But it wasn't a dream. Nor was it a delusion.

It was all real.

He was there, lips curled up in his signature grin while caressing your face with yearning. His raised cheeks were turning red and the ashen colour of his hair only emphasized the glow that painted his features. He was enchanting yet so real at the same time and you could never fathom how it was even possible. 

"H-hi." He stuttered followed a breathy laugh and you could not help but meet him halfway the next time he dipped his head and captured your lips in a conversation without words.

He kissed you with such tenderness and longing - the soft petals of his lips slotted between yours so delicately that it caused shivers to run throughout your whole being. He brought you closer by the back of your head, deepening the kiss, enough to allow you to taste each other.

The kiss was sweet, in all senses of that word. He tasted of sugar and mixed berries from all the candies he consumed during the filming, and you tasted exactly like the cherry-cola popsicle you had upon arrival at the office. The exchange was loving yet so fearless and innocent, like one's very first kiss, only 100x better.

"You had too many candies today," You whispered against his lips, eyes still closed as you both chuckled. You heart was burning inside and you were certain he could feel it, with how steady he seemed to be.

"I can say the same." His lips curled into smirk then chased yours for a few more pecks before finally pulling away reluctantly, looking in your eyes as you both burst out giggling like teenagers.

"Now go." You ordered, face still flushed from the exchange and Wonwoo nodded, his lips pressed together tightly to suppress the smile he couldn't wipe off his face. No matter how much he tried, however, the corners of his lips and his cheekbones did not cooperate.

When he finally found his strength, he stood towering over you and leaned in, stealing one last kiss then running towards the door giddily.

"I'll go. Good night."

"Good night." You called back, suppressing the intense emotions that threatened to spill.

Wonwoo got to the car grinning ear to ear. Joshua, ever so observant, noticed the younger man's reaction but when he asked, Wonwoo just shrugged and said it was nothing and pretended to scroll through his phone.

It was something. Definitely something huge, enough to make his heart pound against his ribcage as if he had just run a marathon.

You on the other hand, were left in the studio, still in daze and doubting your sanity. You were only able to process it once you reached home, squealing like a lovesick 15y/o in the plush kitten he gave you not long ago.

The next time you saw Wonwoo was only few days later from that night, during a particularly busy day in October two days before their scheduled Japan trip for Ode to You in which you will be present, as you were the producer of their docu-series content.

That special filming was for the first ever Don't Lie episode. They were all ecstatic and surprised throughout the entire day of filming, cameras rolling around as they tried to find the treasure and the mafia. You headed the whole production, monitoring the cameras and watching how they were losing their minds over the whole concept.  

Wonwoo should be focused on the game but could not take his eyes off you. You were the main producer that day, busy giving instructions to members seeking clarity about the rules or checking the flow of the game and filming with the directors. The way your eyes glistened as you sipped your favourite strawberries and cream frappe while running around one place to another captured his attention. He thought of how your lips would taste and how cold it would be against his, wondering whether it would be like that first time few nights ago. That was when he felt it again, the tug in his chest that seemed to always happen whenever you were together, which only intensified from that perfect kiss you shared. It was so powerful that day that he felt he could no longer waste time – he was finally ready to verbalize it, hoping that you felt the same way.

"Wonu couldn't take his eyes off you. How can he find the treasure then?" Jeonghan chuckled as you both watched Wonwoo searching every nook and cranny of the area after Jeonghan was voted out by the team. 

"Shut up, you mafia. His eyesight is poor, he could not see me from here."

You took a long sip, trying to ignore the teasing from your friend but who were you kidding? His teasing was impossible to ignore, especially when you and Wonwoo still had not talked about the kiss and just casually greeted each other when the filming started. Your mind floated back to earlier that day, when Wonwoo found yet another way to make your heart flutter like he always does.

The weather was already changing - the air was colder that day as the season transitioned, and it was common knowledge that Wonwoo could not stand the cold. Like a proper excuse, Wonwoo found himself next to you while you were walking towards the main shooting area, lacing your hands together sneakily yet so casually. You gasped and turned your head towards him, raising your brows to question what he was doing but he just gave you a sly smirk, "Why? You know my hands easily get cold and yours are the perfect heat packs."

What a silly but perfect excuse, you thought. You shook your head in disbelief, hiding the fluttering of your heart and the stupid grin that painted your face. He noticed everything, though, and he loved it, too much that he pulled you even closer to him.  

"Trust me, his eyesight is 20/20 when it comes to you. See?" Jeonghan added and proving his point, the gorgeous 6ft tall man sauntered towards you. He was so on theme that day, donning an all-black outfit from his shirt and ripped jeans matched with a leather jacket and a pair of combat boots. He looked dangerous to begin with and even more so when he nonchalantly leaned to take a sip from your drink as his almond eyes met yours in a gentle, but teasing stare-down.

"You found the treasure?" You taunted but he just smirked and shook his head, making you reach out and fix the hair from his forehead.

"Ugh, get a room you two." Jeonghan grimaced, leaving the two of you in the corner lost in you own bubble once more.

"Not yet, the mafias are good and I've searched the whole place already! Give me a hint, babe. I'll split the cash and treat you dinner." Wonwoo casually offered, with pleading eyes. He looked so handsome you could melt but more than that, you did not miss the way he said 'babe' as if it was the most natural thing to call you.

"Not a chance," you shook your head before stealing your drink away from him and sipping, pushing him to go back to his hunt as the remaining time was announced.

The shoot ended with loud laughs and betrayals from the team, the mafias won the prize but it was Wonwoo who seemed a little too happy even when he lost, grinning ear to ear when you agreed to have dinner with him.

It was not the first time you went out alone, you were mainly in the studio or the normal bar you also frequented with Bangtan whenever you guys were out for a drink, one that guaranteed privacy. This time however, Wonwoo wanted something different. He took you out for a drive towards Namsan Mountain, both of you holding Styrofoam cups of piping hot stew and some grilled pork belly you ordered, and even some soju to enjoy at the back of his crossover van. You created a makeshift camping space with picnic cloth and some pillows you borrowed from the studio as you shared your meal while looking over the amazing view from above through the open door of the van.

"You are amazing, you know that? How did you even come up with that idea?" He mumbled, looking at you in the eyes as if utterly mesmerized by you.

You let out a soft snicker as you recalled the ruckus from the day and as he laughed at the things that transpired. It was like that until you both finished your meals and the ice cream you bought from the booth nearby. You just casually talked about everything... except for the one thing you both should be talking about. "I am a producer for a reason. And I enjoy watching you all lose your minds." 

The cityscape glimmered before your eyes as cold winds brushed against your skin. The both of you leaned back against the pillows with his head resting against your shoulder. It was peaceful and quiet, and there was such comfortable silence between you as you watched the flickering of the city lights while his favourite ballads played in the background through the car's stereo. 

"You were right you, know." Wonwoo's deep voice broke through the soft melody in the background and you could feel it through you.

"About what?"

"You've become my favourite."

"Producer?" You smirked.

"No. Person." Wonwoo declared with certainty, his trembling hands reaching for yours, fiddling with your hand before slotting his fingers between the spaces of yours. "You're my favourite person."

"Won -" What he uttered and they way he held your hand truly caught you off guard and rendered you speechless.

"I have fallen for you since the moment you noticed I measure my meat and rice ratio at every bite." He paused, thumb brushing at the back of your hand as he craned his head and met your eyes. "I am not good with words, but this, I am certain of. And that kiss, I felt it, you know..."

"Felt what?"

"That I may have a chance. We may have a chance."

You were wonderstruck at his confession. Your heart was bursting at the seams as you looked at the man who held your trembling frame one summer night when you were at your breaking point, the man who always asked whether you've eaten and went above and beyond to order you food or coffee, the man who paid attention to every little shifts in your mood, the man who stayed up late with you in the studio after long days of practice so you'd have company, and the man who since you met, has been a steady presence, grounding you and being your safety net.

"I want to try, Y/N. I feel like we've been holding back for so long." He added, shifting to face you as you did the same, hand twined in his as you both searched each other's eyes. "Let's allow ourselves to be happy, unless of course I read things wrong."

Wonwoo had never felt such way with anyone else before. While of course he had been attracted to other people, it was different with you – deeper and more serious than whatever silly crush he had prior. He felt safe and secure with you. He felt seen, valued, and listened to even though he normally prefers to be in the background. He finally had someone he was excited to share his stories with outside of the members and his family. He finally had someone to be silly with and someone to tell him that it's okay if he's not the best cook. He finally found the person he'd want to learn how to cook for. He found someone who taught him how to better communicate and supported him as he continues to discover himself and find his footing. He found rest in you. He found his person, so unexpectedly. He found you and he could not let you go, never without trying, especially not now.

Your eyes glimmered with pure astonishment, "You're my favourite person, too. Ever since you asked me who was I the first time we formally met." You chuckled at the memory, watching his smile grow and seeing wheels turning in his head. Then there was silence, a meeting of eyes before his gaze trailed towards your lips and then back to your eyes. There was that unspoken understanding floating mid-air, hidden beneath your soft smiles and withheld breaths.

"But —"

The moment you broke the quiet, he cut off your words as he swiftly drew you in, lips moulding with yours in a fearless, loving kiss.

"No more buts." He muttered ever so steadily, grazing his teeth against your lower lip.

You finally let your guards down and wrapped your arms around him, seizing such perfect moment and tucking that core memory inside the corners your mind for safekeeping.

He was right, no more buts were needed.

All your fears and apprehensions vanished as you allowed yourself to savour the moment. You'd deal with worries some other time. That moment, all that mattered was the two of you.

The two of you.

Finally.

It was perfect.

You made this song who I am And here you come Three, two, one Want to give everything If I can just have you Won't let them break your heart, oh, no Without you, I'm nothing No words are enough for you Want to write it lyrical So let me read and write my emotions through you I just want to love you Alone I don't want to leave you I just want you, I need you The night is short, can't take you for granted I tell you, this time I wanna rock with you Moonlight tonight, shine on you Tonight, I wanna ride with you Wherever we go Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (Wherever we are) Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (No matter whеre we are) Evеn if the world is ending, I wanna ride with you I'm running for you Do anything for you Just you 'til my last breath No words are enough for you Want to keep it melodical So let me listen to all your emotions Fall into your eyes Every moment is pointing to you All I ever need is you Take nothing for granted, you're all I got Won't let them break your heart, oh, no Anywhere Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (Wherever we are) Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (No matter where we are) Even if the world is ending I wanna rock with you I wanna stay with you

ODE TO YOU 2019 - JAPAN LEG

Japan has got to be one of Wonwoo's favourite places ever. He can always be free there, despite their stardom and fame in the country. Their Japanese fanbase is one of their best fanbases - respectful and always mindful of boundaries.

The band has always been eager in ensuring they are able to provide the best show for their fans, and the first nights proved just how loved the boys were – the shows were a massive success, and despite how tight and busy their schedules were, they all genuinely enjoyed it.

During that month, you were involved behind the camera, producing parts of their documentary Hit the Road and capturing behind the scene footages for the DVD release of the said tour. Whenever they did not have shows, they had guestings, photoshoots, and other press conferences. It was only when November came that they got time off for themselves to breathe and relax after the last show in Yokohama and before the shows in Chiba commenced.

It was a restless month for them, so naturally, you became not only a producer, but also a friend they ran to with whenever they were restless and needed to vent. Your hotel room became haven to the members, either as a place to rest and bond over alcohol, or wailing wall. You always understood. Your presence made a huge difference to the members, but most especially to Wonwoo.

--

Wonwoo had planned his days off for a long time already, even prior his confession. He ensured you would be free from work during his time-off too. Like a practical man that he has always been, Wonwoo planned out your official date like how you would a production schedule - detailed and precise. He asked you to pack for a 3-day trip, a surprise he said, and that you would be leaving by midnight to catch your flight to Osaka. Even the the flight schedule was well thought off, ensuring your privacy was a priority. He was eager to enjoy this trip with you. It had been a month since you officially started dating but you weren't able to properly go out as a couple yet. Both of you were thrilled to have such chance and were looking forward to having an amazing time together, away from the teasing of the members.

With eager feet and sleepy eyes, you travelled to the airport, arriving right on time to catch the hour and a half flight to Osaka. You landed and settled in your hotel at around 3:00AM, with just enough time to sleep and rest before you itinerary. It was your first time to spend the night together away from your friends, but due to just how tired you both were, it was not something you immediately realised. After washing up, you went to bed and succumbed to sleep as you held each other for warmth, recharging both of your energies for your activities later that day.

The blaring alarm and the sun peeking through the curtain woke you up that morning, still buried under the duvet and hugging a pillow tight while you tried wake yourself up. As you stirred, you reached out towards your beau, missing the warmth he emitted, only to find nothing. You pried your eyes open to see the empty bed and that was when you heard the door closed and his footsteps slowly approaching. Your stomach growled in hunger as the smell of  Japanese pancakes, egg rolls, and coffee permeated the air and invaded your senses.

"Good morniiiing." He mumbled in his cute little sing-song voice and accent before he placed the tray by the bed and joined you, "Breakfast in bed."

You thought you might have been dreaming. How can someone like him be your boyfriend? You might have done something good in your past life to deserve him. You were dreamy as you looked at him, inviting him your arms for warm hug to thank him. "You're the best."

"I know," Wonwoo smirked and peppered your face with kisses as he rubbed your back. "Let's eat, we need to leave soon."

Your brow raised in curiosity, "Where are we off to?"

"It's my secret."

The man winked at you. Winked! No matter how long it has been since you first met, his gestures like that could still make you lose your shit.

-

Wonwoo took it upon himself to drive the rented car to your destination, looking ever so flawless with a hand on the steering wheel and the other on yours. You had been bugging him to tell you where you were headed but he just smirked at you, insisting it was a surprise until you saw it. Universal Studios. Wizarding World. A place you've always wanted to visit. You were gobsmacked. 

Your heart fluttered at the soft smile and gaze he gave you, "This is our first official date and I want you to remember it. You ready?" He asked ever so confidently, and you could only squeal and lean in to kiss him, and he was quick to return it.

"Let's go!" He exclaimed, both of you hopping off the car to start your adventure. You suddenly felt nervous, however, realizing he was not wearing a mask, and anyone might recognize him with that blue hair and face card on display. You were about to speak when he shook his head as if he already assumed what you were about to say, "I am not hiding. There is no need to. Let us enjoy this day, yeah?"

Encouraged by his boldness, you nodded, holding out your hand towards him, "I am sure we will."

The autumn air was crisp and cool against your skin while you soaked up the atmosphere of the park. Everything was indeed magical but it was made even better with your Wonwoo by your side.

He kept smiling at you, revelling in your squeals of excitement at everything you were seeing. He had always known just how much of a fan of the franchise you are, and seeing you enjoying this made his heart full. His efforts in making it possible were immediately rewarded by your enthusiasm.

You took photos by the entrance of the park and the Hogwarts Express, and both your competitive edge in photography were on full display. It was habit you both have whenever you were out in new places, exploring your creative sides through the lenses while being each other's supporter-slash-critic. 

After the stroll by the entrance, you visited one of the shops to buy robes and scarves of your Hogwarts houses, and the wand that you can use within the the theme park. That was a must in the park, and you definitely would not miss that to complete the experience.

The shop welcomed you with warmth and the lovely smell of parchment and fabric. You busied yourself find your robes and scarves, and assisted Wonwoo in wearing his. With the height difference, you stood on your tiptoes to wrap the blue and bronze scarf around his neck as a final touch. Sneakily, his arms encircled your waist and he pecked your lips making you blush furiously, squealing on the inside.

"Oh look it matches your hair, love." You marvelled, pushing him towards the mirror so he can look at himself. "Oh, my handsome Ravenclaw." You sighed dreamily, watching him fix his glasses and wave his wand, pretending to cast a spell.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

"It's LeviOOOsa, not LeviosAAA."

You mimicked the famous scene and both of you burst out in fits of giggles as he in turn helped you with your house scarf. He put the soft fabric around your neck, fixed your hair afterwards, and then used the scarf to playfully haul you close so he can steal another bold kiss which surprised you.

"Someone might see us!" You gasped, looking around the store to check whether there was anyone around who could see or potentially be filming you despite the both of you being in a secluded part of the store. Thankfully, it was a weekday, not a peak season, and not many people were around.

Wonwoo just chuckled, "Relax! No one's here." He leaned in once more for another sweet, lingering peck that made the lady inside you somersault.

Wonwoo did not need any spell, he alone can leave you enchanted.

You spent the day walking around the park, taking photos and videos of the sights, and trying out the rides. Wonwoo was ever so professional whenever you took his photos and in hindsight it looked as though he was just filming another content. You thought somehow that should any rumour come out, it would be best for people to assume that it was just for content, you got enough footage and photos to release something if it comes to that anyway.

However, the way Wonwoo held you close or laced your fingers or even pressed soft kisses on your forehead were giveaway that it was a personal trip. And that you weren't just a producer. You were never big on PDA, you like to hold hands or share drinks but never too comfortable to show affection whenever you were around other people, but somehow, the magical place and how surprisingly quiet the theme park was made you braver in expressing sweeter gestures. You both allowed yourself to revel in that bliss of being together in such a magical place.

You were on an all time high, heart fluttering ceaselessly as Wonwoo made your dream not only possible but also memorable. You were unsure how he made all these arrangements despite how busy you both were the past months. He just winked when you asked him saying, "I am Wonwoo, love."

Before the end of your tour, you spent time around Diagon Alley shopping for souvenirs for your friends while drinking your 3rd glass of butterbeer that day. The fizzy drink was sugary sweet that it reminded you of your first kiss. You internally laughed, remembering that moment and how shy the both of you turned after the sudden moment.

"Why?" Wonwoo asked you, as if sensing how you were feeling or thinking.

"Nothing." You shook your head and finished your beverage, your boyfriend laughing as he wiped the foam off the corners of your lips.

"Did I do well, love?"

"Hm, very well indeed."

Little did you know, Wonwoo was also thinking the same as he gazed over your every feature. His mind wandered to that first kiss inside the secrecy of your studio and how things transformed since. While you were still the same hardworking, caring producer looking after them, you became a pillar of strength for him, a home he always yearns for and goes back to. Seeing you happy and surrounded by the things you love seemed to have further developed his understanding of how utterly in love with you he is. The moment when you gushed about the famous quote, "After all this time? Always.", he made it a personal mission to make you feel his love and how grateful he is of you, always.

The streets were already dark and the show by the castle was already starting by the time you completed your shopping. All the other guests were busy running towards the show while the two of you took your time. Really letting go of his fears, Wonwoo seized the opportunity and grabbed you by your waist when you reached a darker alley in the park. Laughing, you both sneaked in towards a slightly hidden side of it until Wonwoo pinned your back against the brick wall and swiftly dipped you into an ardent kiss. You were taken aback by the suddenness of his action but kissed him back with reckless abandon, tasting the butterscotch flavour from his lips as he deepened the kiss. Soft whimpers left your lips as you clutched onto his scarf, lost in delight as his arms snaked tighter around your waist to prevent you from escaping.

You did not know how much time passed when you parted and he stared at you. He looked so sinful like that - lips red and plump from the kiss curled up in a smirk. Breathing heavily, he mumbled with his gruff voice, "Let's go back to the hotel."

Your knees buckled.

-

Surprisingly, the both of you managed to still have dinner at the hotel restaurant despite how tension filled the car ride back was. The meal helped ease both of your nerves after that sneaky make-out session you had in the park under the moonlight, but it still did not completely take away the unspoken truth - you both wanted each other.

The moment you entered your room, the air shifted. Wonwoo shoved the door close and caged you against it, lips covering yours in heaps of kisses. Before it led any further however, you paused and panted for air, "We need to wash up." A small chuckle escaped as he groaned and nodded, taking all the energy to pull away and rush towards the bathroom, leaving you breathless, in daze, and wanting.

Your head was spinning as you took a shower after he did, subconsciously spending time to ensure you were spotless and even using the best shower gel you have. You were still overwhelmed with your desire but you were also nervous - this would be your first time and there was no denying that it would finally come to that after long months of pining and waiting.

Wonwoo was no different. He was excited, nervous, and needy all at once but he wanted you for so long and could not wait any longer. Trying to calm himself down, he put on Avengers on the television while waiting for you. He needed his distractions and he hoped the superhero movie would do the trick.

About half an hour later, you finally emerged from the bathroom wearing your matching pyjamas and approached him in the couch where he was watching. You wondered how someone could look that great with bare face and glasses. So domestic. You sat beside him and he wrapped his arm around your body, holding you close to cuddle against his side. He breathed you in, your scent lulling him and waking up his desires that was sitting at bay. When you both mustered the courage to look at each other after a short while of tension filled silence, he tilted your head by your chin so he can continue what you both started earlier.

Wonwoo's kisses were searing and full of desire, his arms engulfing you closer until you found yourself straddling him as need simmered inside you. He traced open kisses against your jawline and the sweet spots of your neck, until his warm breath grazed your ear as he nibbled your earlobe.

"I want you..." He whispered seductively. His eyes were dark, pupils dilated as he stared intently at you, "...need you."

The dulcet tone of his voice had you reeling. There wasn't a need to convince you. You were already a beautiful mess, ready for his loving. 

"I am all yours." 

"Let's take this to bed, I am not about to have on a couch for our first time." He chuckled softly as you both stood, his lips still glued to yours as you stumbled towards the bedroom. 

He sat by the edge of the bed and yanked you by your arm to have you on top of him. He drew you in for endless kisses, his teeth tugged on your lower lip as his hands roamed around your body, snaking inside your shirt to feel your skin. His touch was electric, making you shiver and imagine just how good he would feel touching you where you needed him to. He bruised your lips with his, drinking you up as if you were water and he was parched.

You fumbled with the buttons of his pyjama shirt, pushing it off his broad shoulders as your hand splayed along every perfect contour of his body, memorizing him. Your eyes trailed from his perfect face, down to his broad shoulders, and his narrow waist. You were completely mesmerized by how perfectly sculpted he was, akin to a statue of Greek god, and you thanked all the universe for allowing you to experience such man. Wonwoo admired your patience and how pleased you look gazing at him, but enough was enough for him. He could not wait any longer. So while you were ever gentle and patient with your actions, the man effortlessly ripped your pyjama shirt open, buttons popping out as your bareness was revealed to him, finally.

His mouth fell agape at the sight of your body for the first time ever. He imagined it for so long but to be in that moment was surreal for him. Your insides were turning into molten lava with the way he was looking at you with intentional seduction and awe while he caressed every inch of your body and brought you closer so your skin pressed firmly against his.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered, and despite the lust-filled look in his eyes, he was genuine. He caressed your supple skin as he kissed you, tongue parting your lips as if seeking entrance which you granted as you fought for dominance. He traced kisses towards the sensitive areas of your neck, down to the valley of your breasts as his hand cupped and toyed with your buds. He took one in his mouth, sucking and licking and turning his attention to the other, eliciting a rather loud groan from you.

"Oh gosh..." You were already tingling with pleasure and he hadn't done much yet. You keened in anticipation and need but Wonwoo took his sweet, sweet time with you, marking you in places only he can see. You could feel his breathing becoming heavier as you moved to ever slowly grind against his growing member to alleviate the ache in your core and allow him to feel your warm centre.

Wonwoo was lost in the moment, utterly drawn towards the scent of your skin and how you feel against his body. Your every sound and reaction was enough to drive him crazy, sending adrenaline to course through him as you both found each other in a battle of lips, teeth, and tongue. At one point his glasses became skewed, making the two of you laugh in between the flurry of hungry kisses shared.

"Take your glasses off." You mumbled, tugging on his lower lip and reaching to remove it, but he swiftly grabbed your wrist to prevent you from doing so.

"No." He said simply and quickly maneuvered the two of you so your back hit the bed as he slowly shifted downwards, his eyes fixed on yours behind those thick lenses. "I want to be able to see you clearly."

The laughter quickly dissipated as he once again pressed his lips against your skin, paying attention to every inch of you until he reached your waistband.

"May I?" He asked and you nodded, biting your lower lip and preparing yourself for his next move.

"I want to hear you say it," He mumbled against your skin like a predator playing with his victim before prowling and devouring it. You rolled your eyes playfully trying to mask your crumbling exterior but it was so impossible when he was so close to your core.

"Please touch me..." You let out and, in a blink, Wonwoo peeled off the remaining fabric covering you. His gaze darkened at the sight of your whole body on display for him under the dimmed lights of the room. Blood rushed to your cheeks and you suddenly got conscious causing you to press your thighs together instinctively but he shook his head disapprovingly before prying your thighs apart, gently.

"Love, you're incredible. Don't you ever hide from me." He held such gentle dominance as he looked into your eyes. He placed searing kisses from your knees towards your inner thighs, until he reached your core slick with arousal which made him curse under his breath. You throbbed with need as his warm breath brushed over your sensitive areas, touching you everywhere except where you need him.

"Tell me what you want, darling." Wonwoo commanded, drifting away your core and hovering over you.

"You... please..."

"You have to be specific, baby..." He teased you relentlessly, fingers snaking from your chests to tease and tweak your pebbled buds before he moved towards your aching core.

"Touch me." Your brows furrowed as you looked at him with pleading eyes, body squirming beneath him as his long fingers started circling your sensitive, swollen nub down to your slit.

"Like this?"

"Fuck!" You breathed out, hips lifting to meet his deft fingers. A devilish smirk tugged on his lips, watching every nuance of your expression that was enough to make him even harder.

"You're dripping... I want you to feel good, babe." His competitiveness was on display as he plunged his digits inside you, feeling your velvety walls as you trembled in pleasure. "You like that?" He whispered, shifting to kiss you deeply as he drew his fingers in and out of your wet cave while his thumb worked on your clit. The pleasure you were feeling was incomprehensible that moment, completely lost at the feeling of his skillful fingers driving you to the edge of release.

"Oh Wonwoo... babe..."

"I want you to come for me baby."

Wonwoo dipped his head towards your breast, taking your bud into his warm mouth and cajoled. You gasped heavily, drunk in lust as his fingers curled while he licked, sucked, and nibbled your taut nipples, completely sending you wailing as you climaxed around his fingers. He watched your orgasm for the first time ever -- lips parted, brows knitted, breath ragged -- you were hypnotizing. If your walls felt that amazing around his fingers what more his cock and the thought alone made him twitch.

He was throbbing with need to be buried inside you but he was far from over. While you were still catching the remnants of your orgasm, Wonwoo was already shifting downwards until you felt his mouth and tongue devouring your sweet release. With loud moans, you reached towards him, fingers gripping on his blue locks as he forced your hips down and continued his relentless ministrations.

"Holy shit, Wonwoo..." You whimpered, quivering as you felt another orgasm ripping through you as his wicked tongue drew circles around your clit and sucked, while his fingers entered you once more, massaging that sweet spot inside your walls until you quaked from his stimulation.

"Fucking h-hell..."

"Was it good, baby? You okay?" He asked, brow rising in full curiosity as if he was taking notes mentally.

"Are you kidding me?!"

You both giggled, drunk in each other as you pulled him towards you and wiped his glistening lips and chin, not without apologising how messy it was. Heaps of your clothing were discarded on the floor and you were left with no barriers separating you. The feeling of your warm skin against each other caused sheer delight and comfort and lust all at the same time. You admired all of him, such a work of art from head to toe, hand snaking down and tracing all his perfect ridges. You palmed his sizable length as you looked him in the eye, feeling him grow further and harder. 

"Do you want me to." You asked, already trying to manoeuvre downwards before he shook his head.

"I'd fucking love to, but I can't baby, I won't last long." He admitted, a soft chuckle breaking between you as he pinned you back to the bed. "I need you bad... can I have you now...please?"

"Yes... please..."

Ever so prepared, he had a condom ready on top of the bedside cabinet which he reached out for and ripped the packet using his teeth. You were dying in anticipation as you watched him kneeling between your thighs, his trembling, eager hands trying to roll the rubber around his long, hard shaft but it kept on slipping. "Aish!" He grumbled and you both burst out laughing at his struggle. You took it from him and helped him with it, his teeth buried in his lower lip as he groaned at the feel of your warm hands stroking his aching cock after you wrapped him successfully. Your mind was completely in daze as your handsome man braced himself on the either side of your head and leaned to kiss you, aligning his length against your core before he glided through your wet folds, feeling your warm, slick pleasure coat him through the condom as he teased and prepped you for his length.

Wonwoo smiled gently at you as if he was not just teasing you. His honeyed gaze met yours, taking everything in that moment before whispering, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

You encircled your arms around his broad shoulders and he kissed you fervently, tongue diving deep as he lined his cock towards your opening. He pulled away just enough to look into your eyes while he, with one swift thrust, impaled you completely. Fully.

"Fuck baby!"

"Oh Won — babe!"

Both of you groaned in unison at that first delicious stretch. Wonwoo paused to ensure you were okay, only to be rewarded by your nodding and legs wrapping around him. Wonwoo fit you perfectly, like lock and key, made for each other. He smirked, and then he drew out and drove forward, again and again, building up the rhythm and intensity of his thrusts. Your warm walls gave him an in-drawing sensation everytime he pulled out and your loud mewl signalled that he was hitting that special part inside you.

"There?" He asked, memorizing the way you respond at every angle as his huge cock breached your walls repeatedly.

"Yes baby... fuck... keep going!" You breathed out, fingers tugging his hair so you could kiss him as he plowed into your depths.

"You feel so fucking good around me me, baby."

Your loud moans matched each other as he felt the tight pleasure of your core, feeling you pulse and clamp around his length. His deep voice resonated in your head, so erotic as he buried his face in the crook of your neck while his cock throbbed inside you. He bucked his hips upwards with varying yet precise intensity as if trying to mark and claim you as his. The harmonies of your moans and grunts, along with the creaking of the bed and skin slapping filled the room. It was nearly impossible fathom the pleasure you both were feeling after longing for that intimate moment for so long.

As if you weren't on the verge already, Wonwoo dove down and wrapped his talented mouth around your nipple hungrily, making you shudder in delight. You clawed at the broad planes of his back as you gyrated your hips to meet his every thrust, contracting around his length as he bucked deeper and harder each time.

"I am so close - fuck baby." He grunted as he moved with vigor and eagerness, chasing his high and encouraging yours.

"Holy shit - me too -"

Every cell of your body was on fire as he snaked his hand down, rubbing your sensitive clit. His lips found yours and with few more thrusts, sent you closer and closer to your white bliss.

"With me, baby. Cum with me..." He whispered, slamming into you hard and you both spiralled into your glorious, mind-numbing orgasm, cursing and wailing each other's name. You felt his length twitch inside you as he came while your walls clenched around him, milking every last drop of his sweet ecstacy. He was unsure how such insurmountable pleasure was possible. It was nowhere near his imagination as he watched you quaking underneath him as you both reached your climax.

"Oh baby..." You chased his lips with sweet, open-mouthed kisses as he rested his forehead against yours while he tried to steady himself. You continued the gentle movements as you rode out your climax, feeling every perfect sensation and every remnant of the mind-blowing explosion.

He panted heavily, nuzzling against your skin before finding the will to finally pull out of you as he kissed you gently few minutes later. He rolled your body on top of him and engulfed you in his arms as you slowly drifted back to earth. He cupped your face, wiped the streak of pleasure-filled tear that cascaded your cheek, and kissed you ever so gently in contrast of how he did earlier.

You traced soft circles against his skin as you both fully regained your senses and breathing, and suddenly found yourself chortling in drunken pleasure - like you did when you had your first kiss.

"You're amazing. I love you, Y/N."

Your heart fluttered, as if it was the first time you heard him say that. It was always magical whenever he did so. He was a man who preferred actions than words, so hearing him say it always tugged your heartstrings.

"You are otherworldly, Jeon Wonwoo." You murmured and he kissed you once more, smiling against your still plump lips.

"And I love you, too. So much."

-

ODE TO YOU, 7 NOVEMBER, CHIBA

Those three days spent with Wonwoo were indeed filled with memories. You were busy with activities to rest and relax during the day while you spent the night tangled in each other intimately, making the most out of your time and somehow releasing all the pent-up desire you had for each other. By the time you had gone back to the team, Wonwoo had about 3 more days to fully rest before the start of their last 3-day show in Chiba.

The team was excited to make things memorable, given that they would be closing the Japan leg of the tour with a total of 9 shows in the country. They were all ready to roll and make the best out of their performance despite the week of rest not being enough to fully rest and recover.

All was going well until Dino had to be rushed to the hospital mid-day of their first show in Chiba due to a bad case of enteritis, causing him to not be able to participate in their show. This caused not only a massive pressure to the team having to adjust their performance and cover for Dino's absence, but also a deep-seated worry for their youngest's condition.

You entered the assembly room where the directors were briefing them as they prepared and that was when you noticed it -- they were exhausted and in pain. You knew the telltale signs, you had seen it with BTS for years and you had seen it with the team having been working with them for two years.

Most of them were being taped up and assisted by the physical therapists to avoid injuries and further strains. Seungcheol was stretching and wincing from body pains. Some were just sitting and enduring as much as they can. The endless schedule had already taken a toll on them.

Wonwoo sat quietly by the assembly room listening intently but as you monitored the footages from the camera directors, you felt something was off with him, too. Cold sweat beaded his forehead and the tremors in his hands were more noticeable than ever. He had been blotting sweat from his face more than he normally does and even the stylists had to blowdry his hair and shirt repeatedly.

It was something you could not ignore as worry started to kick your gut. You approached the stylists' table and requested a box of facial tissue from them and told them you'd take over in helping Wonwoo, given that there were a lot they still had to look after because of the delays that happened that day. They were all grateful for your help and it was not the first time you needed to step in. You did that a lot for BTS before, too.

When you approached Wonwoo, his shoulders sank and he gave you that soft, pleading gaze - those were huge warning signals that he was not at his best. At times like that even before you started officially dating, Wonwoo would lie in the couch and rest his head against a pillow on your lap, and you normally would just brush his hair with your fingers or massage his scalp. This time, though, it was not something you both could do just yet given that the show was just about to start.

"You okay? You're sweating buckets."

"I am okay, just nervous, I guess."

You smiled softly at him, folding a piece of facial tissue and pressing it into his forehead to blot off his sweat. He reached to hold one of your hands, a silent appreciation for being by his side that moment. His hand was cold and clammy and he was not always like that despite the usual tremors in his hand. He held your hand a little tighter, a little more desperate, and tugged you closer to him as if wanting to feel the warmth you emit to ease whatever storm was inside him.

"You need to take it easy today, love. All of you." You maintained a calm, soothing tone in your voice as your styled his hair to dry off some areas drenched with sweat. He closed his eyes, immediately relaxing when he felt your fingers massaging his temples and scalp as he sighed in delight.

"But Dino's not around, we need to do good."

"You are all naturally great, so try and breathe and not worry too much. Just enjoy it, yeah?"

Wonwoo nodded and smiled at you, hands remained glued to you, whether your hands or waist or anything he could reach as if drawing strength from that contact.

About 30 minutes before showtime, the director instructed them to huddle in the backstage for photos and other instructions The air was still tense, but you felt Wonwoo relax a little, until he laced your fingers together, and with a pleading look on his face, whispered, "Stay by my side."

"I am here, always." You laced your fingers tighter as your other hand gently squeezed his biceps until you reached backstage. He reluctantly pulled away, fingers lingering slightly until he already needed to join the members. "Thank you, I'll work hard."

Your bright smile and encouragement were more than enough to boost his confidence, "You got this. Fighting!"

As they got to the stage, you put your producer hat back on, monitoring the footages for the documentary and instructing the head camera director on the types of footages you want. As expected, they were all doing well, fans were enjoying, and it was just the first set. You, however, could not help but notice Wonwoo's unsual tensed, heavy breathing and that made your stomach turn. You tried busying yourself knowing that worrying would not help at all, but as always, your guts were right.

It was just as they left the stage that your heard someone calling you, your assistant producer panting for air. "PD-nim, come quick! It's Wonwoo!"

"What happened?!"

You had never sprinted that quick before in your life. Blood drained your face as you saw your boyfriend lying down on the stretcher in the brink of unconsciousness, surrounded by medics and many other people.

"Filming is not a priority now, make space." You heard one of the medics instruct as he loosened Wonwoo's shirt and lifted his head.

You squeezed into the area and despite being worried, maintained a collected and professional demeanor as to not aggravate how Wonwoo was feeling. He always hated making people worry, hated making you worry.

"You heard the doctors, please make space. Filming is not a priority, please go now."

You requested, keeping your cool but you were slowly losing patience when some staff members filming still pressed on shooting footages of Wonwoo and what was happening, blocking the way of incoming first aid supplies from the medics.

"Didn't you hear? FILMING. IS. NOT. A. PRIORITY. NOW!"

There was that controlled yet heavy emphasis on your words, gazing sharply at the camera men. Some of them finally realized it was you, one of the head producers of the documentary they were shooting the footages, and all backed away as their head camera director reached the area, requesting for them to leave and he would cover.

"Y/N -" Wonwoo croaked, and you immediately rushed towards him, taking his trembling, clammy hand and massaging him to increase the flow of blood. Your heart broke at the sight of him struggling to catch his breath - his face pale, body tensed, and hands cold as ice.

"I'm here, Won, I got you baby..."

You whispered with determined calm, taking the can of portable oxygen the medic handed you and placed it by his nose and mouth. "Take a deep breath, love, slowly... come on."

Wonwoo obliged, brows furrowed as he struggled to steady his breathing and take in as much oxygen. Few moments later, the stage director called out to update that the next set was about to start. You were opposed to letting him back on stage, but you did not speak, it was not up to you. It was Wonwoo's decision. Wonwoo, still so weak started slowly getting up, assisted by the medics. The stylists quickly fetched his change of clothes for the next so he can change. You knelt in front of where he was seated to remove his shoes and switch pants and then assisted him in wearing the shoes again. He was still so weak and it was eating you alive seeing him like that, but he wanted to endure. Standing, he leaned against your body, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you and his manager helped him towards the stage. You can sense the intensity of his breathing and the pounding of his chest paired with the disappointed look on his face.

"It's okay, Wonwoo." You looked into his in the eyes, trying to hopefully convince him to sit it out and reassure him it's okay if he can't, but his eyes flashed determination to see it through.

"I am okay. I am ready." He said to you and the manager as you handed him to the stage director and the members who were on his side in a blink.

He got back to the stage where he belongs, shining and performing so beautifully, as if nothing happened backstage. You became even more in awe of the man that he is.

Releasing the breath you had been holding, you got back to working. Wonwoo endured and you must, too.

-

"Cancel all the scheduled interviews and shoot we have with the boys tonight and tomorrow."

"What?" Your co-producers released an incredulous gasp at your request.

"They are tired. They are getting sick and they need to rest." There was authority in your voice and even the managers agreed with you.

"But - "

"But what?"

"We have schedules to follow."

You scoffed unamused.

The tension was heavy in the assembly room where you were holding the end of show huddle. Little did you know it all can be heard in the other room where the boys were resting and changing, all ears on the conversations happening and even talking amongst themselves.

"Really? You'd choose the schedule over the safety of the members? You want to see all of them crawling and dragging themselves in the backstage because of how exhausted they all are?"

You stood from you seat and scratched your temple, "I have been telling you this since before we got here. Their schedules are packed, they do not get enough rest. We are not the ones performing on stage and practicing 20 hours a day, they are."

Your voice resounded and the thin, wooden wall separating the rooms did nothing to mask. The members heard you fighting for them, brazenly.

"Look, I am not trying to start a fight, but I sure as hell am willing to spend extra days and hours filming them myself if that means they'd get the chance to rest in between their shows. Allow them to rest and live and survive. That's all I am asking. How about you? How much are you willing to risk their wellbeing?"

Everyone was speechless. Your intention was evident that day - you were not solely focused on Wonwoo, you were also checking on the other members and ensuring your team wasn't bugging them like they did with Wonwoo. You were right and they knew not to question you, because despite worrying over Wonwoo and being in a relationship him, it had always been clear how fair and professional you are in terms of your work.

The meeting adjourned right after that, with the agreement that you'd take over reviewing the filming schedule and carry out the interviews yourself. As always, you were the last to leave the room with all of them dispersing. Packing your items, you left to check on the members in the other room, shocked at how they all rushed towards you, tackling you with their hugs and gushing at how cool you were for what you did. Wonwoo, on the other hand, just smiled and watched you with adoring eyes - his heart swelled in gratitude towards you and your presence. 

"Yah! Enough of that! I am the one who's sick!" Your boyfriend playfully shouted, approaching you with a small pout as you all broke into fits laughter.

"Oh, my poor Wonu." You cooed and spread your arms for him, and he immediately threw his body onto yours, his arms looping tight around you and burying his face against your neck. The team acted as though they were gagging seeing you like that, but more than the teasing, you all understood the feeling of relief knowing Wonwoo was already much better.

When you reached the hotel, you went to your room to wash the day away with a warm hot shower. You were prepred to work and adjust the schedule of your docu filming when a sudden knock surprised you. You opened the door and there was Wonwoo, carrying his bag and some of his stuff.

"I'll sleep here." He said nonchalantly, entering your room as you took some of his stuff to help him. His eyes were baggy, forehead tensed, and gaits heavy. He did not need to say anything, the deep connection you have was enough for you to know that he was still carrying what happened.

You nodded and beamed at him, "Okay, I'll prep the shower for you, then."

"Thank you, love." He leaned in and you met him in a tender kiss, letting him fix his stuff as you went to the shower to start running it so the water would be at the perfect temperature for him. You pulled out the extra robe from the cabinet and hung it by the door, and even had the hair blower plugged in for later.

He looked so refreshed and relieved once he stepped out of the shower in the robe, his blue hair still dripping.

"Come here." You muttered; another towel ready at your lap. You pat the spot next to you by the bedside and you shifted your body to face him once he was seated. You wrapped the towel around his head, ever so gently squeezing the water out until it was just damp enough. You took the hair dryer plugged into the socket by the bedside table and stood in between his legs, fingers combing through his locks as you blow-dried his hair. Wonwoo released a relieved sigh as your fingers massaged his scalp, his arms automatically wrapping around you to pull you closer so he can rest his head against your chest.

"Love, you did amazing earlier. Seeing you endure like that for the show was incomprehensible."

"Love -"

You adjusted slightly so you can tilt his head and look him in the eyes. You caressed his cheek softly and he closed his eyes while nuzzling against your touch. He saw that sincerity in your eyes and he knew you weren't just buttering him up to make him feel better. You were never that person, you allow him to feel and be human.

"I know you aren't as satisfied, but everyone loved your performance, especially your carats. And I am so proud of you even though I was dying with worry. You did your absolute best for them, literally risking your life and that says everything."

Wonwoo's heart felt lighter at your words, the frown in his face visibly relaxing as a soft grin tugged the corner of his lips. His hand snaked from your waist towards your nape as he pulled you down to kiss you lovingly. 

"It's okay that you are sad now, love. But don't let it eat you up. You still have two shows left, and I am certain you'd also do amazing, and convey your emotions better."

Wonwoo pulled you to the bed and rolled the both of you into the bed and under the duvet, his head resting against your chest, ready to bid the day farewell so he can recharge and greet a new day better and with renewed strength.

"In case I haven't told you recently, I love you, Y/N." He mumbled sleepily but you can hear the smile in his voice.

"In case you it's not obvious, I love you, too, Jeon Wonwoo." You kissed his forehead and continued running your fingers through his locks and massaging his scalp until the two of you drifted off to dreamland.

You'll both be okay, so long as you're together.

Fighting round in circles where is the way out 'Cause I know that our love was hotter than the sun Yeah, the taste of this tequila I'm drinking now Isn't bitter than my heart I want to know our problem, blood type or DNA? Friends see my feed and worry, do you babe? Yeah Been waiting for your call every night But I can't wait no more Dialing you Sorry, darling you You know, without you, I'm so lonely When you're not here, 911 calling Into your heat again, I'm diving Darling you, darling you, baby You know, without you I'm so lonely If you won't be here 911 calling Falling to you I'm always diving Darling you, darling you, baby Darlin', with me under the sun I know that you're my one I don't wanna let you go I can't think of being alone What am I supposed to do? And I gotta let you know You got my heart like it's yours Don't wanna say goodbye I see you, you see me I care for you, you care for me We can be all we need Promise, I won't take you for granted never I'mma treat you better  I'mma see you better So honey, now come into my arms yeah Kiss me baby Kiss me baby

-

In 2020, the merger was officially announced, you as one of the regular producers for Hybe became even more active in supporting the bands, mainly BTS and Seventeen.

Your relationship with Wonwoo became more open - to your friends and to colleagues, who did not seem to worry about it. You were grateful that they were understanding of it, knowing it was inevitable. You remained private and away from public scrutiny, given his prestige. You remained professional and it proved to have no impact on deliverables, the relationship even proved to be helpful, with Wonwoo having more energy when working or the team having someone to talk to about their concerns or share their ideas with. The bond grew stronger, both professionally and personally.

The pandemic proved to be rather difficult and took a toll on both groups who have been working non-stop for years. It meant more efforts were put in ensuring that they would all be safe while being able to still produce quality contents for the fans who need them the most.

That was when you gave birth to and pitched your idea -- In the Soop. A show intended to give them time to heal and recover, while allowing fans to still have quality programme and feel some semblance of normality.

ITS was your brainchild specifically designed for BTS and eventually Seventeen, and because of this, you were assigned as an Executive Producer of the show for the first time ever. It was a hit for BTS and then the preparation for Seventeen ITS officially started -- double in size, double the work, double the chaos.

-

You were in the filming set 3 days prior the members, an advanced party to ensure everything was ready - from the location to product placements, and even the activities they had planned out. You were not in your best mood, if you were being honest, as the last night you spent with Wonwoo before you left ended in a bitter note.

The day before your scheduled departure, you had your pre-flight checks with the members and the staff to talk through all the preparations made, ensuring everyone was all set for the filming. Caffeine ran in your blood trying to keep you awake since the previous weeks had been hectic with all the last-minute product sponsorship and placement offers. During the meeting and the dinner after, you had spent most of the time with Joshua, talking about the activities and even suggesting some more stuff that can be added where possible. Normally, Wonwoo did not mind things like this especially when you were at work, but you were confused to see his sour expression throughout the whole meeting and until you drove home to your apartment where he also sometimes stays. The whole drive was quiet, and it was not the usual comfortable silence you usually shared after busy days.

"You alright, babe?" You asked, pouring him a glass of water and handing it over to him. It was a normal routine whenever you got home, a glass of water for the two of you before your usual rituals as he liked to call it. That night, he just nodded at your question and went towards the bedroom, dismissing the water you offered. You immediately knew something was off. It was a very Wonwoo thing to do to just stay quiet whenever he was feeling or dealing with something uncomfortable.

On normal occasions, you would let it pass and give him time to breathe, knowing he always would crawl back to bed and talk about it. You on the other hand, would normally do something special in order to apologise or make amends.

That night was different.

Your body was aching in exhaustion from the past month of juggling work and other matters. Truly, you wanted to spend the night relaxing with him as planned, but he suddenly had the cold shoulder. Your temples throbbed in pain at the thought of something like this occurring before such a busy and special week for the both of you.

Entering the room after about an hour of contemplating, you saw him already washed up and busy with his phone as he lied in the bed.

“Aren't you going to tell me what's wrong?” You asked, tone a little off – brought about many factors and your emotions overwhelming you.

"Nothing's wrong." He pressed, looking at you with the same sour expression he had during dinner, jaw tensed and eyes blank.

"There's obviously something wrong."

Another silence. Another exasperated sigh from him.

"I am fine."

You approached him in the bed, sitting by the edge as you reached out for him to hopefully soothe him. "I don't believe that... let's talk about it..."

"Then don't! There's nothing to talk about."

That was when you snapped. The harsh answer he gave and the way he blatantly avoided you were enough triggers for you to lose it.

You already fought over silly things or concerns couples would normally fight about but nothing lasted more than a day. You always ensured to make up before the day ended, and you did not sleep on any issues you had. This time he was flat out cold and mean, and you were angry and exhausted enough to deal with his attitude.

"I have no energy for this, please." Your gaze was gentle in contrast with his stone-cold expression as his jaw clenched and avoided eye contact. “I am so tired, let’s just –”

"Is it my fault you're tired?!" He cut you off sarcastically, fuelling the your fire until you combusted.

"Did I say it was because of you? You're impossible! You were the one who's been giving me this attitude since this afternoon when all I want is to be with you tonight! If you are tired of this relationship, just fucking tell me and I'll leave instead of you acting like that!" You blurted, breathless, voice laced with both pain and fury, then walked away and slammed the door shut to spend the night in the living room so you both can have some space to cool down.

Your heart felt so heavy you cried yourself to sleep. 

You were sleepless that night, tossing and turning in bed, eyes puffy from crying, wondering what went wrong and how things transpired. That morning before leaving, you shook him awake to let him know, and he just groaned, still fast asleep and unable to even pry his eyes open.  

While you were busy with preparations, you still wanted to ensure he was alright, but unfortunately, you ended receiving with 1-word updates and responses from him, 'studio', 'home', 'okay'. Aside from that, he completely ignored your calls, either intentionally or when he was busy playing games or packing his stuff for the trip with the members. It was driving you crazy the entire time, but you had massive responsibilities in your plate, and you did not want to bother any other person.

Your heart wasn't cooperating, though. It felt as though a huge brick was sitting atop of your chest while you were working. You thought that maybe you were right, that maybe he wanted out and the thought alone was killing you inside. How could it be? Was it a long time coming? If it was, you were not sure when it started. You were perfectly fine the last few months and everything seemed normal so you could not understand what had gone wrong. These thoughts plagued your mind whenever you weren't distracted by work. You turned your full attention to work, ensuring there was no idle time for you, in the hope to alleviate your fears even just by a fraction.

The last day before their arrival, you were caught up with so much last-minute work, pulling an all-nighter in your cabin to sort some final requests. The staff knew just how huge your role was and just how much effort you poured into this. They wanted to at least ensure you would be able to get some rest because you were doing all the heavy-lifting before it all even started, hence allocating you the small cabin near the upper house.

Your personal phone was left forgotten by the bed since the morning of the last day of preparation. You did not have reason to bring it with you, he had been ignoring you anyway and the quiet of your phone the last two days caused more pain and frustration. Besides, you also considered the crucial bits that had to be done that day required your undivided attention.

Buried in piles of work with your staff and directors until dawn, you missed his numerous calls and messages you never even realised you received.

Your strength waned and your body gave up and succumbed to sleep around 7:00 AM, the day of their scheduled arrival.

You finally caught a bug after draining yourself – falling sick at the first day of shoot.

Great.

Not.

--

Wonwoo was losing his mind. 

He had been calling you since the day before their departure – wanting to speak, apologize, or even just hear your voice to bring even a dose of sanity back into his system. He sent you multiple messages asking how you were, whether you were busy, or what you were doing. Even that morning when he left the dorm, he tried calling to tell you he was on his way but was only routed to your voicemail without hearing anything back. He almost reached out to other producers, but it was one thing you both agreed not to do – never involve other staff. The members naturally would be involved or rather involve themselves due to the level of deep relationships you have, but never the other staff members.

Dino noticed the hard expression on his face, eyes tired as he took the reigns in driving to the location. He was tired but it was a way for him to clear his mind and become distracted.  

"You alright, hyung? Did you sleep last night?" The youngest inquired, both curious and worried that his older brother might be a little too tired to drive.

"Ah, yes. I am okay. Just stayed up playing games so I only slept couple of hours." He faked a laugh and focused on the road. “Don’t worry.”

"Aish! Oh well, we can sleep as long as we can for a week."

Wonwoo hummed in agreement.

Although, he was not sure on whether he can sleep at all with what's happening between the two of you. He had not been sleeping well since the night of the fight. 

-

They arrived at the venue a little past lunchtime, just as you finished preparing for the day. You were in so much pain and craving rest, but it was the most crucial part of the shoot – to welcome them In the Soop.

The cars pulled over the driveway one by one, filling the area with the usual energy the thirteen members always have. The way they bickered and giggled and marvelled at the surroundings echoed around the quiet forest and that strengthened and excited you to leave the room to officially welcome them. It was something they had looked forward to for a long time, knowing just how much they also enjoyed their seniors’ content. You were looking forward to that moment, too, after nearly a year of planning for this to finally happen. All of them greeted you from afar when you left the cabin, bright smiles warming your heart.

The moment you saw Wonwoo leaving the car, it hit you once more just how deeply you love him. Despite what happened, there was a sense of comfort his presence gave. You've been together for two years already and while the initial start of your relationship was all intense outpour of pent-up emotion and affection, it transitioned to a 'calm' type of love when your relationship grew. The love you have is a type of love that one would yearn for – like a hug after a long day, a warm cup of hot chocolate during winter, or a home to go back to after being away – your love has always been a soft place to land. No arguments or misunderstandings could take away the fact that your home would always be each other.

He felt the same - the way he softly looked at you conveyed the things he could not say then.

You never wanted the members to suspect something was happening with the two of you, so you took it upon yourself to get the awkward hello out of the way. You approached Wonwoo and pressed a soft kiss against his cheek and he held you by your waist tightly, no matter how brief it was.

It would suffice for now, you both thought.

Of course, the members noticed something seemed off. It had been three days and normally you would be a bit more affectionate. They expected Wonwoo to run towards you as he always did, hold your hand, or wrap you in his arms. There was none of that and there was an unexplained tension between you.

Beneath your smiles and the excitement as you showed them around the area, you were just trying to power through the pounding headache and nausea, paired with your emotional turmoil. Joshua noticed it first, as always, and then Jeonghan. You had a tired look on your face, sunken eyes, and trembling hands as you instructed them. They immediately knew something was happening, they know you. No one was brave enough to voice it out, though you sensed their worries. 

When everyone finally settled down, you retreated to your room to answer emails and send updates to you bosses and to the team, delegating the first parts of the interview snippets that must be completed that day. You were sneezing endlessly and your temperature continued to rise as you pressed on working. Thankfully, the test kit was negative, so you knew it was just a regular bug.

Your time alone did not last too long as Jeonghan barged into your room, asking you about what happened. You denied and told him you were just sick, but Jeonghan did not buy it, so he held you hostage in your room until you finally shared that apart from being sick, the fight with Wonwoo was a huge factor on why you were not at your 100%. He knew the woes of being in a relationship and how it can impact one person, and for that you truly appreciated him.

"I'll ask Shua to bring you food."

"No, I'll be fine."

"Eeehh, I don’t care. Shut up and rest." He insisted, already leaving your cabin to go to the kitchen you assumed.

You caved in and you were only woken up when Joshua's soft voice echoed around the room and the smell of stew wafted through the air. You were leaning down the table napping when he saw you gently stirring awake. You had already lost track of time.

"You okay, Y/N?"

Joshua’s kind eyes widened as he saw you, worry evident in his voice as he placed the pot down, and gently assisted you to a better position. He dashed to get a pillow, placed it on the back of the chair to make it comfortable, and served you the stew he prepared for you.

"Since when are you sick?" He gently asked, handing you a spoon, and placing a hand against your forehead to feel your warm skin.

"This morning, I guess. It's just a bug, I'll be fine with some more sleep."

Joshua had always been caring towards you, like he would with other members. There was something about the way he paid attention to you that you appreciate a lot, but you never gave it another meaning. He has always been a gentle friend and he genuinely cares about everyone.

"Do you want me to call Wonwoo?"

"No, I am okay. Thank you so much, you should get back there. I need you guys in the camera." You managed to laugh before coughing, and he swiftly gave you a glass of water. He smiled gently at you, watching you savour the stew, staying just a little longer and ensuring you’d eat before leaving requested.

“Feel better, Y/N.”

-

Wonwoo saw Jeonghan and Joshua leave your cabin, and that did not help how he was feeling. He saw them preparing meals, and while he did not ask, he assumed it was for you since it was your favourite kimchi stew. Your name also popped up in the conversation as they prepared your meal, talking about you quietly as if hiding something. Instead of asking, Wonwoo chose to be quiet – thinking that your personal issues don't have a place there, you were there to work, after all.

He spent the night with the members, laughing, playing games, and just relaxing until it was time to sleep. You did not hear anything from him that night, but you saw him once you start checking footages when you woke up by the middle of the night. It was a relief to see him like that, resting and enjoying without any pressure despite technically still being at work.

The next day, the team had more free time to laze around or do as they pleased. Wonwoo and Joshua spent more time in the playroom after their brunch, working on their crafts or building blocks. The older member seized the opportunity to speak with your boyfriend, perhaps to gain more understanding of what was happening and why Wonwoo seemed to be in the dark about your situation.

"How's Y/N? Is she feeling better?" Joshua asked, testing the waters and checking whether Wonwoo even knew you were sick. Joshua did not see Wonwoo visit you that morning and not even when you were basically dragging yourself towards the production team to give instructions while you were covered in thick jackets and double masks.

Wonwoo's expression did not lie – there was flinch in his expression coupled with a surprised and worried look no matter how much he tried to hide it, "Yeah. She's okay... just busy." Wonwoo's jaw tensed.

Joshua nodded, fully taking in that it was right you got into a fight and that Wonwoo was unaware you were sick. "That's good to hear. You should spend time together once she's fully recovered. We've the week here, you know. And away from prying eyes, too, except ours of course." Joshua gave Wonwoo a knowing smile, trying to lighten the mood. 

Wonwoo smiled and nodded before walking outside the house just in time for Jeonghan to invite him for a walk. He felt weak, knees wobbling at the thought of you sick and upset, and then him unable to explain why he acted such way few nights ago.

Jeonghan and Wonwoo strolled through the woods, appreciating the nature and the privacy of the place despite cameras here and there. The sun peeked through the thick trees and the branches, casting a nice shadow around the trail they were walking on. Every one thought the place was amazing, carefully chosen for them in such a perfect time of the year. Wonwoo wanted to enjoy, but what's happening between you was eating him up for the past few days already.

Wonwoo understood it was only natural for Jeonghan to step in during such situation. He has always and been the team's mom-slash-counsellor, and the reason why he asked him to walk with him was clear – you. Jeonghan has always been such an observant but more than that, he cares a lot about you and Wonwoo separately and together.

"Do you know she's sick?" Jeonghan asked plainly, looking up at his younger brother who just shook his head.

"Yah!" He scolded Wonwoo with a disapproving look on his face and hit his arms. "I had to coerce her to tell me since when she was sick and learned she had not been sleeping well since the fight, too. She needs you now. I don't care what happened, but you need to fix it, you're obviously not okay too, and the show might be impacted because of this."

"I don't know how to start, hyung." Wonwoo mumbled, brows furrowed at he looked at his older brother as if seeking guidance. "She's still angry, I think."

"Aaah, you THINK? How many of her texts and calls did you ignore like she is a nuisance?"

"I tried calling yesterday... just —"

"She's already sick and working her ass off. Her heart was probably heavy, too, not knowing why you suddenly got angry at her." Jeonghan shared, just trying to make Wonwoo realize how much you need his support that moment especially.

"I am not angry."

"Then why did you act that way?"

Wonwoo could not speak. It was too complicated and embarrassing to admit.

They continued walking in silence as Wonwoo pondered on things. Seungcheol saw them and caught-up, and Wonwoo felt even more pressured as though his parents would be telling him off any minute then.

"Y/N looks like a zombie earlier. I got scared I saw her walking to get water in the fridge outside. I did not know she was sick!" Seungcheol chuckled as if amused but Jeonghan gave him the look that made him purse his lips.

"Ah, you fought?" Seungcheol asked Wonwoo.

"Yeah. My fault. I got jealous and was an ass towards her." Wonwoo finally admitted, scratching the back of his neck as Jeonghan and Seungcheol snorted and shook their heads. The couple casually laced their hands together, no fears at all as they savoured the secrecy of the place. Wonwoo’s heart ached, he wanted that, too. He wanted to hold your hands, watch the sunset and the stars with you, and bask in nature with you by his side.

"Do you doubt her? Your relationship?"

"No! Never!" Wonwoo was quick to respond. There was nothing like that. He trusts you wholeheartedly, but he just got insecure somehow, especially with the affection others showed you.

"Then why don't you tell her what's wrong? You know whatever it is, you are both adults, you just need to talk about it. That's what Hannie and I do every time. Just talk, communication is always the key, even though you hate that sometimes."

Seungcheol's advice were always practical and straightforward - an ace of a true leader. He has always been sensitive and considerate, but real blunt when needed.

"Besides," Jeonghan said, his voice softer this time as if trying to coax Wonwoo out of his bubble, "she misses you, but she is waiting and giving you time to come into your senses. Did you know she personally bought the telescope you requested because she wanted it to be special and based on what you really want?"

Wonwoo's eyes widened in surprise, then turned his head down as he answered a meek, "No."

"In the Soop is her baby and she is excited for this turn great, not for herself but for us members. And for you. She has been looking forward to it for months." Seungcheol added. "She'll listen to you whatever it is, Wonwoo, she loves you. You just have to trust yourself and trust her, too."

Guilt was eating Wonwoo inside. It hurt so much to hear that you were sick, and he wasn't even there to ask how you are and look after you. It hurt to hear that your friends know just how much you love him, yet he still acted that way that night. Jeonghan and Seungcheol were right, whatever it was, he needed to fix it. Wallowing in jealousy, fear and pride would not help.

Wonwoo nodded at them and released a deep breath, mumbling a soft thank you to the two.

"Now go, we need time alone." Seungcheol requested with a soft snicker, pointing towards the direction of your cabin. "Good luck."

-

Wonwoo's heart was pounding. He was too scared and anxious on how the conversation will end. There were endless scenarios in his head but most of all, he was frightened that you would really choose to leave. The gloomy weather that followed did not help either. He found himself by the tarp having tea with Minghao, trying to still compose himself before going. And, he did not go to you right away. If he was being honest, he just showered again to buy himself some more time.

Your cabin was secluded just a few steps from the main house, even then, he took slow and careful steps towards it. It was dark inside apart from the warm light coming from the open curtains of your cabin. He knew you were there as the producers forced you to rest the whole day. 

He silently approached your door which was slightly ajar and watched you. You were wrapped in blanket with your back facing the door as you browsed your phone and read conversations and missed messages, before locking it and curling up. His heart felt heavy seeing you like that, alone in the dark, sick, and worried. It was another punch in his gut that he could no longer bear.

The room smelt of berries and mint, the way it normally would whenever you just got out of shower. He always loved that smell, it reminds him of home every time, reminds him of you. He even got his own one he used whenever he was on tour and you weren’t with them just so he would not miss you too much. The smell is always a reminder of good times and that no matter how long the road takes him away, you would always be waiting for him. It stirred something inside him – he cannot lose you.

Finally taking a deep breath, he entered the room. You would know those footsteps from anywhere no matter how quiet it was, but even then, you weren't quick enough because in just a blink, the bed dipped as he crawled under the duvet, his arm wrapping around your middle to pull you plush against his body. Your heart clenched and despite everything that happened, his embrace was all you needed. A sudden wash of calm and relief flooded your entire being as if a heavy load was lifted off your chest. Eyes remaining closed, you allowed him to lace your fingers together and pulled him closer, too. No amount of sleep and rest can ever beat his warmth.

"I am sorry, Y/N." He whispered, pressing soft kisses against your shoulders and towards your neck and cheek, feeling him gently sniffling. "I am so sorry." His voice was merely a whisper, as if he was just thinking out loud.

Your heart ached, feeling a drop of his tear that made you turn your body to face him. You met his eyes brimming with tears as his lips quivered. The sight broke your heart. There was something behind those tears, a deeper reason why things turned out the way they did. Just how hurt he looked that moment made you pray to all the gods for them to take those pain away.

"Wonwoo, I am sorry, too." You whispered, wiping the lone tear that cascaded against his beautiful face. Before leaning in closer as he pulled you in to eliminate all the distance between you. He pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he tried to compose himself.

"I am so scared you'd leave me. I am scared that you would realize others can take better care of you, cook food when you're sick, say all the right things... I am scared you'd realize you deserve someone better." Wonwoo whispered softly, eyes searching yours. He was hurt, jealous, and frustrated, but most of all, anxious. Anxious that you would leave him after what happened and after how he acted. Anxious that he ruined his home.

"Hey, where is this coming from?" You asked soothingly, gently brushing your fingers through his scalp as you tried to get to the root of whatever was causing it.

He hesitated at first, pressing his lips together, unable to form words to explain how he felt.

"It's all okay, you can tell me, my love." You encouraged, massaging the back of his head to soothe him.

"Shua-hyung noticed you were sick. I did not even see it because I was so selfish and jealous. I got so jealous of him that night even though I should not have, I know it was just work. Then yesterday when he cooked for you –” He paused, brows scrunched up in frustration as his voice quivered, "I could not even cook for you, the best I could do is ramyeon, and I was not even here to take care of you when you were really sick!"

Memories of that day came flashing before your eyes. You did not notice that during the meeting Joshua was making you laugh and complimenting you every so often, but Wonwoo saw that. The way Joshua gave you a lingering hug and reminded you take it easy made Wonwoo evaluate whether he was able to give such comfort or whether he had become complacent and too comfortable with the relationship. He thought of all the times he was busy playing games for hours when you might have needed him. He thought of those times when he was not able to pay attention to you because he knew you were just there, and he knew you wouldn't leave. It scared him that he might’ve taken your presence for granted. He always felt the Joshua has feelings for you and he thought about how easy it would be to love such person.

You, on the other hand, never paid attention to such things because all you ever wanted was Wonwoo. That night all you were looking forward to was him alone. He always told you he'd like to be better at things, but you love him as he is. The simple mundane things you do together are more than enough – the way he complains whenever he is losing, the way he silently tangles himself with your body after long days at work, the way you gossip about stuff until the wee hours of the night, the way he brings you home little trinkets from tours whenever you were unable to come with them, and the way he holds you with nothing but soft reminders of just how much he loves you. You could not ask for more than what you both have.

He cupped your face and pressed his lips together, swallowing a lump of tear, "I’ll treat you better, see you better. I’ll be better. I can't lose you and I am terrified the last few days that maybe I just did."

"Wonwoo love, listen to me. I am sorry I made you feel that way. I am sorry that you got scared because of whatever I said or how I acted. To be honest, that night, I just really wanted you. I was looking forward to spending time with you and I was hurt and tired and overwhelmed with emotions. I did not mean to hurt you, baby. I never meant for that to scare you." You poured your heart out as if willing all the pain away as your tears finally escaped. "And I don't care if you can't cook, so long as you promise to wash the dishes and clean up whenever I do." You chuckled softly to lighten the mood which also made him let out a chuckle and nod.

“I am the best dishwashing fairy you can ask for,” He mumbled and pressed a kiss on your forehead.

"You are more than enough for me, Jeon Wonwoo. You take care of me the way I need to be taken care of. Your presence alone is enough. You are my safe place and my best friend. The other things are just… bonus. You are my favourite person since day 1, remember? I chose you, I choose you, and I will keep on choosing you."

Wonwoo's eyes glistened as he soaked up your words that vanished all his worries away. You left him speechless that all he can do was pour all his emotions in a passionate kiss, whispering ceaselessly, "I love you. I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Jeon Wonwoo."

-

You stayed like that for a few more minutes, tangled against each other as he pressed soft kisses on the top of your head. You breathed him in as if gaining strength from the way he embraced you and every pain the last few days seemed to have healed.

"You're still feverish, love." His deep voice rang in your ears, his hand pressing against and feeling your skin.

"Yeah, you really shouldn't have kissed me. You might get sick." You mumbled, looking up at him to see a softer gaze, calmer expression compared to how he looked earlier. You stayed like that, admiring every feature of his face, from his eyebrows, the perfect slope of his nose, his defined cupid's bow and lips, and those dazzling eyes. You could not help but smile in admiration. He's your home. He always will be.

"Why?" He asked, soft smile tugging against the corners of his lips as he saw you watching him intently.

"You okay now? We okay?" You gazed at those warm dazzling eyes and allowed yourself to get lost in them. His eyes always saw through you and that moment, you hoped he'd also see the sincerity behind everything you told him.

Wonwoo nodded and sighed in relief, pressing a sudden kiss on your lips, "More. than. okay." He mumbled in between pecks which made you chuckle softly, trying to mask the fact that the butterflies on your stomach were fluttering crazily.

"They're going to kill me if you get sick." You mumbled only to be silenced by more kisses and cuddles from him.

"It's a happy virus."

All was well.

Baby, I will be your happiness You're always on my mind, all the time Please don't forget this moment Oh, I can't hide it Geez, I want to give you all of my heart Oh my love, warmly call out for me when I'm by your side I'll only fill you with love Above that endless sky This night of stars pouring down Is looking at you sleeping next to me Dreaming the same dream and feeling the same way You see we are spending the same night together Even if I give you everything in the world I will never change Promise me eternity If you feel the same way as I do No matter what happens Don't worry, I'm by your side Oh, I want to know more about your day with me Oh my love, you are deeply positioned in my heart You are the brightest light In the many grains of sand I can only find you I want to protect you who's sleeping next to me in this night Every moment without you is meaningless, no ooh-oh Even the reason why I breathe Is because my heart wants to have you in it

--

BONUS:

“Wonwoo-hyung?” Mingyu’s voice boomed around your cabin, dragging you back to earth from the dreamland after being asleep for a few hours. You stayed up with the members and some managers drinking and chatting until sunrise as it was the only time they got to spend with you. “You here? We need to go by noon!”

Mingyu entered your room upon hearing you grumbling, which caused him to giggle and plop into your bed nonchalantly. “You okay, noona?”

“You’re so loud!” You groaned and pulled a pillow to yourself when Mingyu hogged the cover as if he was about to sleep as well. “Wonwoo, your husband is here!” You yelled sleepily, hoping your boyfriend who was busy in the shower could hear you so you can enjoy the quiet once more.

“Hyung, make it quick! We’ll leave soon.” Mingyu hopped off the bed, walking around the room towards the mirror to fix his clothes. “Wanna tag along, noona?” He asked only to burst out laughing when he saw you glowering at him just as the door opened to your boyfriend who was already dressed and ready for their fishing trip. Wonwoo tried holding back his chuckle at how you looked, lips pressed firmly as she struggled.

“Leave quick, I want to sleep more please.” You groused once more, throwing a pillow at them making Mingyu run towards the door and bid you a teasing goodbye.

Your brows furrowed in the pounding headache, and you swore you were never drinking again. You felt your skull being split into two from the hang-over and you did not even drink that much. You thought maybe that it was because you were sick few days back, but historically, alcohol had always helped you.

“You okay?” Wonwoo asked, worried as he watched you. He had memorized your quirks already – he knows your HO cure like how you know his – but still he could not help but worry.

“Yeah, just headache… need grease…”

“Ack babe, you can no longer hold your liquor.” He teased playfully, already fetching pain killers and a bottle of electrolyte drink for you. “Quick, take this before sleeping again.” He sat by the bed and helped you sit, popping the pill into your mouth, helping you drink, and wiping your lips. “Good girl. Hang-on, I’ll elevate your pillows.” Wonwoo mumbled, adjusting your pillows and tucking you back in a comfortable position so you can sleep more.

“Thank you, love.” You mumbled, eyes closed as you blindly held on to his arm to thank him.

“I’ll buy you grease on our way back.” He smiled and left gentle pecks on your lips and then pulled away to shut the curtains close before making his way out.

You slept for another hour until you needed to get up and work.

And as promised, Wonwoo came back with your HO cure – a nice, meaty beef burger which melted your hang-over immediately.

-

The night went deeper in the forest, but you hadn’t seen Wonwoo for most of the time since he brought your burger. Everyone seemed to be busy with their own stuff with some ruckus from afar. Shaking your head, you turned your attention towards the computer screen, writing reports around footages taken that day for editing reference and arranging the metadata for the snippets.

Like how it has always been with the members, your solitude was broken with a loud banging on your door.

“Noona!” Hoshi greeted ever cheerfully, walking towards you. “Can you help me with something please?”

“Depends.” You chuckled, “What is it?”

Hoshi just smiled mischievously, his eyes completely vanishing as he did so. “Let’s go, I’ll show it to you.”

Surrendering, you nodded and followed him outside your room towards the darker way deeper into the forest.

“What is it, Hoshi?”

“We’re near.” He muttered as you reached the pathway towards the gazebo lit by lanterns.

You were at a loss for words at what you saw next.

“Yaaah, what’s this?” Your heart fluttered against your chest as you tried taking in what was happening.

The members were there, all lined up, each holding a sunflower they handed over to you one by one before walking sideways in a perfect relay. Your cheeks hurt from beaming throughout until you reached Mingyu who was the last one to give you the flower.

“Hope you’re no hung-over anymore, noona.” He winked and gave you the sunflower, then stepped aside to reveal your boyfriend.

Wonwoo stood there holding three sunflowers, a huge, loving smile painted on his face as you took slow steps towards each other.

“What’s this?” You were stunned as you asked the question, hear racing against your ribcage as you met his gaze.

“Y/N, would you go on a date with me? Now?” Wonwoo inquired ever so smoothly, earning loud whooping cheers from the members.

“Of course, I would.” You flushed, taking the flowers he handed over to you, eyes never leaving his chocolate ones.

You looked back at the team to thank them. They waved goodbye, proud of their perfect execution, asking you and Wonwoo to enjoy your time together.

With hands intertwined, Wonwoo led you towards the gazebo now all decked up with lanterns and the telescope you bought for him. A picnic cloth laid in the middle of the gazebo, with two bottles of non-alcoholic sparkling wine and a huge charcuterie board filled with your favourite types cheeses and cold-cuts sitting by.

You were utterly amazed by everything, unable to comprehend how Wonwoo pulled off such surprise once more, and in the middle of the forest to add to that.

Your heart was full, as always, because of him.

“Love…” A dreamy sigh left your lips as you faced him. “How? Why?”

Wonwoo turned bashful but held you closer by your waist, “I’ve always wanted to remake our first ever ‘date’ in the back of my car, and somehow elevate it. This time we can really watch the stars and not just the city lights.”

“Oh Jeon Wonwoo, the man that you are.” Filled with astonishment, you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and closed the distance between you, pouring all your emotions in that passionate exchange.

Under the endless velvet sky and glimmering stars, you once again reminded each other that you are feeling the same way and dreaming the same dream, and that if eternity is true, you both can rest in certainty that no matter what happens, you are always each other’s haven and your hearts would always want each other.

---

Thank you for reading, darling. 💗💙 Coming Soon: MAMA 2019 and some real fluffy and steamy Yuletide stuff. 💗💙

[allwaswell16]

All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in April 2024. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup [ @1dmonthlyficroundup ] which you can find here! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #61 |  ko-fi | fic recs

- Louis/Harry -

🌼 When the Lights Go Out by thelarenttrap / @antidotetogo

(E, 79k, F1 au) In its near eighty years of existence, Formula 1 has never had an out gay driver. In 2017, Harry Styles signs a contract with Scuderia AlphaTauri alongside his childhood friend and competitor, Louis Tomlinson. The next decade of their careers is some of the most tumultuous press--on and off the track--Formula 1 has ever seen.

🌼 Colorful Hearts by Larrysmomfics / @larrysmomfics

(M, 20k, humor) In a world where orgasmic emissions change color depending on the person’s mood, Louis Tomlinson’s semen has only ever been blue. At the recommendation of his doctor he attends a support group for people with similar conditions. 

🌼 In a swirl of flashing lights by @lunaticcat009

(M, 15k, friends to lovers) Harry taps on Louis' window with a sad smile and they sneak into a closed carnival. A starry night of them running around the abandoned premises with their fingers intertwined ensues.

🌼 Fuck You For Ruining New York City For Me by galactic_larry / @galacticlarry

(T, 11k, exes) Louis broke up with him in their New York apartment, so Harry left the city for good. Except now he’s back, visiting with his new boyfriend.

🌼 defying stars by localopa / @voulezloux

(T, 9k, high school) the marching band au only one person (and that was me) asked for.

🌼 Half a World Away by @silverstuff50

(E, 9k, omegaverse) Bothy: A bothy is a basic shelter, usually left unlocked and available for anyone to use free of charge. Bothies are found in remote mountainous areas of Scotland, Northern England, Ulster and Wales. 

🌼 Where All Roads Lead by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings

(NR, 7k, neighbors) Harry's Christmas takes an unexpected turn when he discovers a misplaced holiday card in his letterbox. He never thought that braving the snow to return the card to its sender would be so worth his while.

🌼 Does it Ever Drive You Crazy? (Just How Fast the Night Changes) by xx_soup_xx

(G, 7k, strangers to lovers) Baker Harry Styles takes it upon himself to get his mysterious grumpy customer, Louis Tomlinson, to like Christmas by taking him on a disastrous first date.

🌼 Girl Crush by Hopeless_blue

(T, 7k, strangers to lovers) He used to be so close to fulfilling his dreams when he participated in X-Factor. But that was four years ago, and now, on a rainy day, he wanders the streets looking for a pub where he could sing sometimes. Charming bartender Louis is ready to give him a shot...

🌼 Why Don’t We Start Writing The Story Of Us by red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa

(T, 6k, omegaverse) Alpha Louis and Omega Harry get off on the wrong foot, Louis has the worst timing, and Harry believes in second chances. Three times Louis asks Harry on a date and the one time Harry accepts

🌼 I Might Say Yes by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

(E, 6k, established relationship) the one where Harry buys a wedding dress on a whim. And his very doting boyfriend, Louis, is more than happy to indulge him

🌼 now i'm tracin' all my steps to you by @alwaysxlarrie

(T, 5k, 5 times fic) Of all the things Harry was prepared for this summer, Louis Tomlinson and his wonderful, wonderful scent isn't one of them. It probably shouldn't be as shocking as it is that it makes Harry want to nest.

🌼 Crimson Clover by babyhoneyhslt / @babyhoneyheslt

(T, 5k, soulmates) Harry and Louis are soulmates, but one is already promised to another. When their plan to flee is discovered and they are separated, Harry falls gravely ill.

🌼 I’ll tell you something (I hope you’ll understand) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

(E, 2k, girl direction) Louis insists that Harry stay off her phone and in the safety of Louis' room rather than risk moping in her own texting her ex-boyfriend. When Harry agrees on one condition, Louis' safe night in could become something else entirely.

🌼 All The Way Home I'll Be Warm by @justanothershadeofblue

(T, 2k, friends to lovers) Harry & Louis jokingly send out holiday cards together as friends, and now everyone is congratulating them for finally getting together. A 5+1 fic, for Christmas.

🌼 beech tree in autumn by @juliusschmidt

(E, 1k, summer romance) Louis walks forward. Harry walks back. And back. And back. Off the two track, through the brush, until his heel bangs against the trunk of a tree.

🌼 hey stupid, i love you by @enchantedlandcoffee

(T, 1k, omegaverse) The one where self-proclaimed Valentine's Day hater, Louis, surprises his boyfriend on their first Valentine's together.

🌼 skinny dip (in water under the bridge) by hazzahtomlinson / @itsnotreal

(G, 880 words, exes) It’s a Wednesday and nostalgia might just get the best of Louis.

- Rare Pairs -

🌼 Finally, You and I (Collide) by @lululawrence

(NR, 14k, Zayn/Louis) the five times Louis was accidentally wooed by cookies and the one time he was purposefully wooed by brownies.

🌼 I Saw Several Angels in the Self Help Section by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(G, 3k, ot5) Zayn and Louis are soulmates. They're also missing some soulmates. For extra flavour, it's Christmas.