#that line has stuck with me ever since i first watched the film

[marinerainbow]

Since I made his human last name Renfield, I keep thinking about that moment between Renfield and Mina from the movie, but with human Psycho and Poppy

[waitimcomingtoo]

A Film By Peter Parker

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: Peter gets back into making little videos once the two of you start hanging out

warning: extreme 2017 homecoming era nostalgia

Masterlist

Of course he went for Liz.

Liz was the ingénue. She was perfect in every possible way. Perfect grades, perfect face, and the perfect boy pining after her. You’d been crushing on Peter since the third grade but with Liz around, he never noticed you.

But Liz was gone now. She had moved to Oregon following her dad’s arrest and taken Peter’s feelings for her with her. Now that she was gone, you decided it was time to stop pining after Peter from afar and start pining from up close. And so, when you walked into the cafeteria that day, you didn’t sit at the end of the table like you usually did.

“Oh, hey.” Peter smiled in surprise when you sat down next to him. Smiling was good. Smiling meant he wasn’t creeped out by you sitting so close. You gulped before giving him best smile back.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” Ned asked, making Peter give him a look. You immediately regretted your decision and wished you’d just stayed in your usual spot.

“What do you mean? She always sits with us.” Peter pointed out.

“No, she always sits down there. She’s never actually sat with us before.” Ned replied and gestured to the end of the lunch table.

“Yes, but I’m sitting here today because I needed Peters help with the chemistry homework.” You said and put your chemistry notebook on the table. You knew you couldn’t just randomly sit with them without a reason, so you came prepared.

“Oh, for Mr. Eddie’s class? It’s easy. I’ll show you my notes.” Peter’s offered with a smile. You returned the smile as he pulled out his own notebook. It was a win/win for you since you actually needed help with the homework and it would start a conversation with Peter. While he was explaining the problem to you, you never once looked down at the notebook. You were too focused on the curve of Peter’s suspiciously long eyelashes, the longest you’d ever seen on a boy. Ned noticed the way you were staring his his best friend and frowned a little.

“Does that make sense?” Peter’s asked when he was done explaining.

“Yeah, it does. Wow, thanks Peter. It sounds so easy the way you explain it. I wish this stuff came as naturally to me as it does for you. You’re so smart.” You said as if you had listened to a single word he had said.

“That’s nice of you to say but I’m really not that smart. I just like chemistry.” He replied as he blushed from the compliment.

“Oh, come on. You’re the smartest guy I know. You’re the only one that answers questions in that class. And you always get them right. When Mr. Eddie asks if anyone has any questions, I don’t raise my hand because I don’t even know what I’m confused about yet.”

“That’s I feel in English. I can barely make it through the first line in a poem and you’re already going back and forth with Ms. Teague about Pindaric odes or whatever they’re called.”

“You listen to when I talk in English?” You asked with a soft smile.

“Of course I do.” Peter shrugged. “I always find the reading boring until you raise your hand and talk about how you interpreted it. You make it interesting.”

“I liked that book we read when the kids ate the other kids.” Ned said and interrupted the moment. Your smile dropped as you and Peter looked at him with disgust.

“The one with the flies-“

“We know.” Peter cut him off.

“Anyways, thank you for helping me with the homework. I’ve been stuck on it all week.” You said to Peter.

“Ugh. That’s been me with my paper for Mrs. Teagues class. And it’s due tomorrow.” Peter groaned.

“Oh, the analysis essay? I could help you with that.” You offered.

“Really? You’d help me?” Peter smiled in surprise.

“Yeah. I already wrote mine. It would be no problem.”

Ned was watching this back and forth conversation for a while until it clicked it in head. He gasped and slapped the table, making you and Peter look at him.

“Oh my God.” Ned said. “That’s why you’re sitting here. You have a-“

“Can I talk to you for a second, Ned?” You quickly cut him off when you realized where that sentence was going. Before Ned could even answer, you grabbed his arm and pulled him outside the cafeteria to talk in private.

“You like Peter!” Ned whispered harshly. You clamped your hand over his mouth and pushed him up against the wall.

“You need to keep your mouth shut.” You hissed. “Yes, I like Peter, okay? I’ve had a crush on Peter since middle school. He never noticed me when Liz was around but now that she’s in Oregon, I might finally have my chance. I don’t want to scare him off so just keep your mouth shut and let me handle this.”

You took your hand off Ned’s mouth and he started to gasp for air.

“Oh, please. Your nose wasn’t covered. You could breathe just fine.” You said with a roll of your eyes. Ned stopped pretended and straightened up.

“So you actually like Peter? For his personality?”

“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?”

“Kinda, yeah.” Ned admitted.

“I like everything about him. And I’m gonna tell him that. Just please, don’t say anything before I do. I’ll tell him when I’m ready.”

“Are you going to cast a love spell on him using a lock of his hair?” Ned whispered to you.

“What? No. Why would you even ask me that?”

“Because you’re a witch.” Ned said like it was obvious.

“I’m not a witch.” You groaned. “I just accidentally cackled that one time but it was only because I had phlegm in my throat.”

“Then about that time on the bus?”

“We’ve been over this. It was just a coincidence that that biker fell off his bike after I gestured with my hand. I didn’t move him with my mind.”

“And that one time in physics?” Ned narrowed his eyes.

“I still don’t know how that guys shirt caught on fire.” You shrugged. “It’s a mystery to me.”

“It caught on fire after he made fun of you for being a witch.” Ned pointed out.

“Maybe he was just standing too close to the flame.” You shrugged.

“He was standing in the doorway. There was no flame.” Ned reminded you.

“The magic of science.” You shrugged again.

“But what about that time-“

“Don’t bring up the nosebleed.” You whined.

“I am gonna bring up the nosebleed.” Ned hissed. “In sixth grade, our Spanish teacher got a nosebleed right after he told you to stop staring out the window and made everyone laugh at you. How do you explain that?”

“You’ve made your point, okay? Now are you gonna tell Peter or not?”

“Look, I’m not gonna expose your gross secret feelings, as gross and secret as they may be.” Ned sighed. “But Peter is still my best friend so I have to look out for him. I don’t want any spells cast on him.”

“That’s fine. There will not be any spells.” You held your your hands in defense. Just then, Flash walked by and laughed when he saw the two of you talking.

“Woah. What is this, the friendless loser convention?” Flash snorted.

“Shut up.” You snapped. Flash immediately tripped over his feet and fell to the ground, making Ned look at you with wide eyes.

“Witch!” He whispered harshly as he pointed a finger at you.

“Shut up. Let’s go back inside.” You rolled your eyes and pulled Ned back into the cafeteria.

Later that day, you met up with Peter in the library to go over your assignments. You started with his English essay and finished that within an hour before moving on to your chemistry homework.

“You can plug the numbers into your formula now using the method I taught you. And then you just solve for x.” Peter explained as you worked out a problem together.

“Hm. You make it sound so simple.” You sighed and leaned on your hand. Peter saw the way you were staring at him in his peripheral vision and felt his face heat up.

“It’s, uh, it’s pretty easy once you get the hang of it. I never liked the way Mr. Eddie taught it. I figured this out myself and it’s worked much better for me.”

“Thanks for helping me. You’re a good teacher.” You said and put your hand on his arm. Peter laughed shyly at the contact and cleared his throat.

“Thanks. And so are you. That was the best essay I’ve ever produced. I honestly worry she won’t believe I wrote it.”

“Well if she says anything, I can vouch for you. You put in good work on this essay. You deserve the credit.” You assured him, making Peter blush all over again. It occurred to Peter that he never realized how pretty you were. You’d been classmates since 3rd grade so he always looked at you as just another girl in his class. Now that you had his full attention, he didn’t feel like looking away.

“Thanks. I appreciate you helping me write it. I know it can be frustrating to work with me because of my dyslexia.”

“It’s no problem. And it wasn’t frustrating at all.” You shrugged. Peter smiled at felt better about how long it took him to write the essay.

“Thanks.” He said. You had successfully gotten him to spend time with you one on one but now you needed to commence the next phase in your plan which was to hang out in a non school related setting.

“Would you ever want to hang out socially?” You blurted.

“Like, and not do homework?” He asked. You nodded your head and he smiled before nodding as well.

“Yeah. Sure. I’d love to.”

“Cool. Me too.” You smiled. You hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that but it worked nonetheless.

“Does this weekend work?” He asked you.

“Yeah. What do you want to do?”

Hard cut to that weekend. You were on the subway with Peter and he had his phone out to record himself.

“Firts social hang out with a girl. A film by Peter Parker.” He said in a low voice before flipping the camera to face you.

“Staring me.” You smiled and waved to the camera.

“Are you sure you’re cool with me filming this?” Peter asked as he flipped the camera back to himself.

“Yeah, of course. The other ones you showed me were so cute. But why did it seem like there were so many missing parts? You were always talking about something cool that I didn’t get to see.”

“Uhhh, no reason.” Peter said and looked to the side. He had skillfully edited out any incriminating superhero activity that you were not ready to see yet.

“Well I like it. I feel like I’m on Modern Family.” You said and posed for the camera.

“Which family member would you be?” Peter laughed and zoomed in on you. With his phone blocking his face, he could shamelessly admire your face on his screen.

“Duh. Lily.”

“I can so see that.” He chuckled. The subway lurched suddenly and you both grabbed onto the pole, coincidentally putting your hands in top of each others.

“Oh, sorry. Our hands touched.” You laughed shyly.

“Oh my God. So romantic.” Peter joked, making you blush and look into his camera.

“Stop it.” You laughed and covered his phone with your hand. He laughed as well and put his phone away.

After learn you had never been, Peter decided to the Lego Store. He’d been hyping it up to you all week over text and now that it was finally happening, he hoped it impressed you. You walked in together and Peter heard you gasp.

“Big Lego Aladdin.” You gasped and ran to stand under the giant magic carpet and Aladdin made of Legos.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard that string of words come out of someone’s mouth.” Peter laughed and went to stand under it with you. You looked over at him and were surprised to see he was already looking at you.

“This is even better than you described it. You need to show me everything.” You said and excitedly shook his arm.

“I can do that.” He blushed and nodded his head towards some of the sets.

Peter took out his phone to film you as you looked at everything in the store. The way you were looking around like a little kid brought a smile to Peter’s face. He zoomed in on you and caught himself staring at you fondly through the camera.

“Come on. I haven’t even showed you the coolest part yet.” Peter said and brought you over to the build your figure own station. He laughed when you gasped again and started to excitedly rummage through all the pieces. Peter didn’t bring his phone out again until you had built each other.

“Show me what you made.” He laughed from the other side of the phone.

“Looks! It’s a little Peter. He has a backpack and a beaker.” You said as you proudly showed the camera the little Peter figure you had made.

“This is Y/n. I can’t believe I found the shoes you always wear.” He said as he filmed the figure he had made of you.

“You notice my shoes?” You asked with a smile. Peter didn’t catch it because he was too busy fitting the hands of your Lego figures together.

“Look. They’re holding hands.” Peter gasped.

“Aw.” You laughed. “Us on the subway.”

“We should give them some privacy. They might not want us to hard launch their relationship.” Peter said and put his phone away.

“You’re so cute.” You laughed without thinking about it. Peter looked up at you with rosy cheeks and you gulped when you realized what you said.

“I mean-“

“Come on. I wanna take you somewhere else.” He cut you off before you could explain. He brought you to Delmar’s and ordered his usual for you to split. You sat together inside and you tried your best to remain calm. You always wondered what Peter got up to when he wasn’t at school and now you were in one of his favorite places and eating with him.

“Okay, this is Y/n’s first time eating at Delmars since he reopened. Let’s get her reaction.” Peter said as he filmed you unwrapping the sandwich.

“Wait, why is it so flat?” You laughed and held the sandwich up.

“Oh, sorry.” He chuckled. “I forgot to warn you that he always squishes it for me. But you’ll like it. Trust me. It’s much better when it’s squished down real flat.”

“Well I’m glad I now know you like your sandwiches to be squished. I would not have expected that about you.” You said and took a bite of your half before giving him a thumbs up.

“Yeah? You like it?” He asked hopefully.

“I do. Your squishy sandwich was surprisingly good.” You admitted.

“Well, I’m very pleased to hear that.” Peter smiled and phone away. “So to make it even, you have to show me one of your favorite places next time we hang out.”

“Oh.” You smiled coyly. “I didn’t realize there would be a next time.”

“There better be. I had a lot of fun with you today. How come we’ve never hung out before?”

“I don’t know. I always wanted to but you were busy running around with Ned or staring at…” You trailed off and chose not to mention Liz in case he was still hung up on her.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad we’re friends now.” You said instead.

“Me too. I’ve never had a girl friend.”

“What was that?” You said and started choking on your saliva.

“All my friends in my life were guys. It’ll be nice to have a female influence in my life.”

“Oh. Girl friend.” You smiled tightly.

You hung out another hour before taking the subway back to your respective apartments. Peter walked to you the front doors of you building and you had an awkward moment where you didn’t know if you should hug or not.

“We uh, we should probably get an ending for your film.” You said with a timid smile.

“Oh, right. Thats a great idea.” Peter smiled and pulled out his phone. He pressed record and you waved to the camera with both hands.

“So, can you give our first time hanging out a rating?” He asked you.

“9/10.” You grinned and held up two thumbs.

“What? Why’d I only get a 9?” Peter scoffed and pretended to be offended.

“I had a 10/10 time but I have to deduct a point because we saw that guy cutting his hair on the subway and I was scared he was gonna throw the scissors at us.”

“Well I would’ve just protected you with my lightning fast reflexes.” Peter said simply. You smiled at him through the phone and he smiled back. He put the camera down and looked at you with a content smile on his face.

“Seriously, though. When’s the next time we’re hanging out?”

It ended up being just a few days later. And then again a few days after that.

“Peter’s first time!” You cheered as you filmed him during one of your hang outs.

“Trying boba.” He clarified. “I don’t understand this drink. Do I eat the balls?”

“Yes. Sip it slowly so they don’t all go down your throat.” You instructed. Peter took a big sip and immediately started choking.

“Peter! I said slowly!” You said as you slapped his back until he stopped choking. You quickly put the camera down to help him recover.

Your hangouts started getting more and more frequent and Peter soon considered you a best friend. Your weekends became each others and school days were often spent together in the library or at one of your apartments. You were quickly moving up the ranks in Peter’s life, just as you hoped. And the closer you got, the more Peter could not believe he had never noticed you before.

Little did you know, Peter often found himself watching the footage he had taken of you during your hang outs with a big smile on his face. He’d rewatch the videos he had taken and realize that they were slowly becoming less of a documentary and more of a highlight reel for you. He never imagined a girl as cool as you would for him so when he realized he was starting to fall for you, he quickly repressed his feelings. Little did he know, the feelings were mutual.

“Did you always make these little videos?” You asked Peter one day as he filmed you trying to balance on the curb of the sidewalk.

“I used too make them all the time but I hadn’t for awhile. I only started them again when we started hanging out.”

“Really? Why?” You wondered and stumbled off the curb.

“I don’t know. You remind me of the time before my life got crazy. It made me want to do these again.” He shrugged. You couldn’t help but smile at that information and turned around to look at him.

“So I could be the star?” You asked and posed for the camera.

“Exactly. You’re my muse.” He played along, making you laughed shyly. When he watched the video back later that night, he knew he had meant every word of that.

Peter sat in his bedroom one day and filmed himself wearing your glasses while you did homework at his desk. He looked over you every now and then just to admire the back of your head.

“Don’t break those.” You called without looking up. All you needed to hear was the sound of your glasses case opening to know what he was doing.

“I’m not even wearing your glasses.” He lied and admired himself in the camera.

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not. But yes, I am.”

“Knew it.” You snorted.

“Hey, how come girls always smell so good?” Peter wondered. “Your hair hit me in the face when you turned too fast before it smelled like a baby in a damn meadow.”

“It’s just my womanly essence. Now can you stop looking at yourself long enough to help me with my chemistry homework?”

“It’ll be hard but I can try.” Peter dramatically sighed and set his phone down. You got yo from the desk and went over to the bed with a cheeky smile on your face.

“Incoming.” You announced and patted your elbow twice like a wrestler.

“No, don’t.” He pleaded. You ignored his pleas and jumped on top of him. He groaned and pushed you off, leaving you laying in the bed beside him.

“Ow. My ribs.”

“You’ll heal.” You rolled your eyes. “Now can you help me with number 7?”

“Oh, yeah. No problem. Can you check this email before I send it?” He asked and handed over his laptop. You handed him your worksheet before reading over his email draft.

“Oh, honey.” You grimaced just a few words into the email.

“Is it bad?”

“Good evening, Mrs. Howard. I hope this email finds you well. I’m so sorry for bothering you. I was just wondering if I could possibly have an extension on my midterm paper? No worries at all if an extension is not possible. I apologize for any inconvenience this email may have caused. Thank you for reading, Peter Parker.” You read out loud.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“After your name, you included the name of the class, the time you have it, and a description of yourself. She knows who you are!” You laughed and turned the laptop around to show him his mistakes.

“She may have forgotten.” He pointed out. “I can’t take any chances.”

“Peter, this email is way too submissive. You sound like such a bottom.”

“Well excuse me, genius.” He said sarcastically. “How would you write it?”

“Here.” You said and handed the laptop back after retyping his email.

“Oh, wow. That’s actually really good.” He said once he read your updated version.

“This is why we are such good friends. You have all the math and science knowledge in this little, beautiful head of yours-“

“Little?” He interrupted.

“You’re right. Sorry, I was just being nice. What I meant to say is that your head is huge.” You corrected. “Anyways, you have the math brain and I have the literary brain. It’s like you’re Einstein and I’m Victor Hugo.”

“Who the hell is that?” He laughed as he peaked at your mirror to see if his head was actually huge.

“The guy who wrote Les Mis.” You said like it was obvious.

“Never heard of it.”

“What? You’ve never seen Les Misérables?” You asked in a thick French accent.

“Huh?”

“We have to watch it. It’s so good.” You said and snatched his laptop back. You pulled up the movie and handed it back to him.

“Oh my God. It’s two hours and 38 minutes long? And a musical? Hell no.” Peter shook his head and pushed the laptop away.

“But it’s so good.” You urged. “We can just leave it on in the background while we work. It’s super light and easy to watch.”

“Really? What’s it about?”

“Oh, you know. Just war torn France.” You mumbled.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“But you’ll like it! There’s prostitution and con men and um…oh! And orphans! You can watch it and feel represented.” You said and shook his arm.

“I hate you.” He laughed but nearly gave in to your request just to see you happy.

“Fine.” You huffed. “I finished editing your midterm paper, by the way. You don’t actually have to send that email.”

“And here is your completed chemistry homework.” Peter smiled and handed your worksheet back.

“Aw.” You gushed. “Look at us. I love cheating with you.”

“So do I. We make a great pairing.” He chuckled as he looked over at you. You looked back at him and gulped. You hadn’t realized how close you were with your arms and legs pressed against each other as you sat together in your bed. Peter knew his sheets would smell like your perfume that night and smiled at the thought.

“Now that we’re all done with our work, you know what we should do?” He asked as he moved in closer.

“W-what should we do?” You stuttered now that he was right there.

“You know what I’ve been dying to do with you for a long, long time?” He asked.

“No. I mean, I don’t know. What?” You laughed nervously. Peter moved in even closer and right when you thought he was gonna kiss you, he reached over and grabbed his laptop back.

“I wanted to show you a real musical. Not this French miserable bull crap. Have you ever seen a little movie called Hair-“

“No. I’m not watching Hairspray with you again. You scream-sang every lyric last time and I couldn’t even hear it.” You cut him off and reached over home to take the laptop back. He pulled it away at the last second and you ended up on top of him. You looked into each others eyes and both froze in the positions you were in. Your faces were almost touching but neither of you tried to pull away. Your eyes were going back and forth between his lips and eyes and he was doing the same. Like magnets, you two started to lean towards each other but before your lips could connect, May opened the door.

“What did you guys want- oh! Sorry! I didn’t realize I would be interrupting something. My bad.” May smiled sheepishly and pretended to cover her eyes. Peter burned bright red as you quickly climbed off of him.

“May.” He said warningly.

“Sorry. But maybe lock the door next time. And use protection.”She whispered the last part before shutting the door.

“May!” He groaned and threw a pillow at the door. There was a long, awkward silence before you were even able to look at each other. When you finally did, you smiled awkwardly and kept your distance.

“That was so weird. What did she think we were doing?” You laughed nervously to break the silence.

“Psh. I know.” Peter scoffed. “She said she was interrupting but we weren’t even doing anything.”

“Yeah. What did she think? That we were gonna kiss or something?” You asked and laughed like it was the most ridiculous thing you could ever suggest.

“Us? Kissing? How silly. Imagine that.” Peter forced a laugh as well and looked to the side. The awkward silence returned and you struggled to look at each other.

“Do you think she made dinner?” Peter asked after a beat of silence.

“Let’s check.” You said and quickly got off the bed.

You didn’t discuss the almost kiss and went home shortly after. You couldn’t sleep that night because you couldn’t stop replaying the moment in your mind. No matter how much you wanted him to like you back, if Peter reciprocated your feelings, he would have kissed you.

Your pity party didn’t last long because on the subway the next day, you felt Peter put his earbud in your ear. You heard the Les Mis soundtrack playing in your ear and looked up in surprise. Peter was already filming you with a huge smile on his face.

“This guy 24601 should stop stealing bread and stick to singing. He has serious pipes.” Peter said.

“You listened to it?” You melted into a smile and held your hand over your heart.

“Yep. I stayed up all night watching lyric videos because I couldn’t understand what they were saying with their accents. It’s actually really good. I love Eponine. I just wish Marious wasn’t such an idiot. How does he not see that his best friend is clearly in love with him?” Peter asked with exasperation. You looked directly at the camera and hoped it picked up the irony before looking at Peter again.

“He’s not an idiot. He’s a romantic.” You sighed. “He doesn’t notice Eponine because he’s in love with Cosette. And course he is. She’s prettier and richer and has perfect hair. He doesn’t even see Eponine.”

“Good hair isn’t everything. Eponine is way better than Cosette.” Peter scoffed. “I’m team Eponine all the way.”

“Are you really?” You asked hopefully.

“Oh, for sure. I see why you like this stuff. These songs are awesome.” Peter said and put the other earbud in his ear. He then flipped the camera around to film the two of you sharing earbuds. As Heart Full Of Love played in your ears, you couldn’t help but longingly staring at Peter. The fact that he had stayed up late just to listen to something you suggested made you overcome with fondness for him. If he had done something like that, maybe he actually did feel the same.

“I forgot how good this album is. I haven’t listened in a while. I used to listen to it all the time back when you…” You stopped short when you realized you were about to say too much.

“When I what?” Peter wondered. You looked him in the eyes and decided that it was time to be honest. The song ended and a new, much louder one began to play in your ears.

“Back when you liked Liz. She was Cosette. I was Eponine. I was the one pining after a guy who never noticed me because he was in love with another girl. You were never mine to lose.” You admitted. Peter stared at you for a minute before pulling his earbud out.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear a word you just said. Master of the House is such a banger. What did you say?” He asked you.

“Never mind.” You smiled. “It wasn’t important.”

He smiled back before getting a text on his phone. You looked at his phone when you heard it buzz and realized he was still recording. In other words, he had just recorded you saying you liked him. Your eyes went wide but you only had a second to panic when you read the text he had gotten.

“Did Liz just text you?” You asked in a quiet voice. You felt like you were about to throw up. Years of crushing on a boy who liked another girl turned into months of pinning for your best friend and now turned into a rock in your stomach. Peter stopped recording the two of you to answer her text, which felt a little like a slap in the face.

“Oh, yeah. We’ve been talking lately.” He absentmindedly replied to you as he laughed at whatever she had written.

“You have?” You asked with a dry mouth.

“Yeah. She says Oregon is pretty cool. But she wants to come back and visit this summer to see everyone.” He told you.

“And see you?” You asked with a sad smile.

“I guess so.” He shrugged. “It would be nice to see her.”

“Yeah. Totally.” You said weakly. “So how long have you guys been talking?”

“I don’t know. A few weeks? She texted me a little while ago and we’ve been catching up.”

“That’s awesome.” You lied.

“I know. I didn’t think I’d ever hear from her again after she moved.”

“Neither did I.” You said through a forced smile. You needed to get off the subway and away from Peter before you started crying. So as soon as the subway doors opened, you bolted out.

“I gotta go. See you later.” You called to him before running through the subway station. You wiped tears as you went up the stairs and didn’t stop moving until you were in a bathroom stall at school. You gave yourself five minutes to be upset before drying your face and leaving the bathroom. It sucked, but it could have been worse. Now, Peter never had to know how you felt about it.

Peter was beyond confused by your exit on the subway but he wasn’t about to get any answers from you. You dodged his texts throughout the day and didn’t dare go into the lunchroom where you knew he and Ned would be.

“Y/n isn’t here yet?” Peter’s huffed as he sat down at your usual lunch table.

“Not yet. Actually, I haven’t seen your girlfriend all day.” Ned realized.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Peter blushed. “And I’m pretty sure she’s avoiding me. She’s been so weird ever since this morning. Everything was fine on the subway until we got to school.”

“Well did anything happen on the subway that would weird her out? Oh no. Did you graze her boob with your hand again?”

“No. That was one time. And it was her boobs fault, not mine.” Peter whispered harshly. “We were just listening to music together and I was filming her like normal. But she could not get away from me faster once the doors opened. It was so weird.”

“Did you say anything weird to her? Girls don’t like it when you say weird things to them.”

“I know that. I didn’t say anything weird.” Peter replied as he pulled out his phone. He watched the video he had taken on the subway with no sound to see where he had gone wrong. All he saw was you looking at him with heart eyes which made his face heat up. But still, no evidence of where he messed up.

“I knew it. We were having a normal conversation about Les Mis and then I got a text from and then she ran. It makes no sense.”

“What was the text? Was it May saying something weird?”

“No. And stop saying weird. It doesn’t sound like a real word anymore.” Peter ordered. “And the text was just from Liz.”

“Oh shit.” Ned said when he heard this.

“What?” Peter wondered.

“Oh, Peter.” Ned sighed. “Peter, Peter, Peter.”

“What?” He asked again, annoyed now.

“Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter.”

“Are you gonna tell me what happened or just keep saying my name?”

“I can’t tell you. I’m sworn to secrecy. And I don’t want Y/n to put a hex on my family.” Ned said and held up his hands.

“Y/n swore you to secrecy? About what?”

“Can’t say.” Ned shrugged and zipped his lips.

“Does she not like Liz? And doesn’t want me to know?”

“Dude. Dude, dude, dude, dude. You are so close but so far.”

“So she does like Liz? Oh my God. Does she a crush on Liz? And she’s jealous that Liz texted me and not her?” Peter whispered with wide eyes.

“You’re getting colder.” Ned waved his hand. “I don’t even know how you got there.”

“That was all my guesses. Just tell me.” Peter whined.

“Hell no. I don’t want Y/n to curse my crops and make not grow for all of eternity.”

“You don’t have crops.” Peter pointed out.

“I could develop some.” Ned snapped.

“I just don’t understand what she would tell you something but not tell me. We’re best friends. She usually tells me everything.” Peter said right as his thumb accidentally hit the volume button on the video. Your confession to Peter on the subway was heard loud and clear by the two boys. Both of their jaws dropped as the video ended with you asked if Liz had just texted Peter.

“Well I wouldn’t have beaten around the bush like that if I knew you had video evidence of her saying she liked you right in your hands.” Ned sighed dramatically.

“I need to find her.” Peter said and ran out of the lunchroom. He looked around the school until he found you under the bleachers in the gym. You were sitting with your back against the wall and your knees drawn to your chest with your earbuds in your ears. When you saw Peter coming up to you, you quickly pulled them out.

“Hey.” He said and waved cautiously.

“Hey.” You smiled sadly as he sat beside you. You sat in silence for a minute as neither of you knew what to say.

“What’s going on with you? I haven’t seen you all day.” He started off. You looked at your hands to avoid making eye contact and sighed.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been talking to Liz?” You asked quietly.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t hiding it. I just didn’t think it would interest you.”

“Well you have no idea how interesting I found it.” You laughed dryly. “What do you guys talk about anyway?”

“Well, she originally texted me to ask me to confirm I had an internship at Stark Industries because her boyfriend didn’t believe her when she told him she knew a guy who worked there. Apparently he’s been trying to get an internship there for years and he wanted to know how I landed mine. Then we just started catching up. I only talk to her here and there, though. And it’s only ever about school or work.”

“Oh. I thought you guys were talking talking.” You couldn’t help but smile a little when you heard the word “boyfriend.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Just regular talking. When you saw her text on my phone, she was telling me about her cat getting spaded. And I didn’t know what that meant so she had to tell me. I should’ve just googled it.”

You laughed softly at that and he did too. The tension was let out of the conversation and you could finally breathe again. When you stopped laughing, you finally looked in his eyes.

“Do you still have feelings for her?” You asked quietly.

“For her? No.” He laughed. “Those are long gone. I have feelings for someone else now.”

“Oh God. Don’t even tell me. I don’t want to know.” You groaned and buried your face in your hands. Peter looked at you for a minute until an idea came to him.

“Actually, uh, I came looking for you because I was just making another video. Wanna be in it?” Peter asked and took out his phone. You looked at him like he was crazy and could not believe he had just asked that during that moment.

“I’m not really in the mood right now, P.”

“Come on. I can’t make it without my muse.” He said and nudged you slightly. You couldn’t help but to smile at that and reluctantly nodded. He propped up his phone against the bleachers and pressed record.

“In a world where two best friends have no idea how to communicate despite spending way too much time together.” Peter said in a fake deep, gravely voice.

“Okay. Shade. That’s fine.”

“What will it take for them to admit they have feelings for each other?” He kept the voice as he looked at you.

“Wait, what?” You asked and looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. Peter smiled softly at you and shrugged a little.

“What’s it gonna take?” He asked again in his normal voice.

“I don’t understand.” You laughed nervously.

“I watched the video from before. From the subway. I heard what you said.” He admitted.

“Oh shit. You watched it?” You grimaced.

“Uh huh. So if you’re Eponine, I guess that makes me the idiot who didn’t realize his best friend was in love with him?”

“I guess so.” You said with a tight smile and still didn’t understand why he wanted to film this incredibly awkward conversation.

“You know, if I didn’t have a video of it, I never would have believed that you liked me.” Peter told you.

“You wouldn’t? Why not?”

“Because it doesn’t seem possible that the coolest girl I’ve ever met liked me.” He replied.

“You think I’m cool?” You asked skeptically.

“I think you’re the coolest. And you know, I watch the videos I take of you all the time. And half of them are just clips of you existing. So I do notice you. It just took me a second to catch up.” He told you. A smile tugged at your lips as you stared into his big brown eyes.

“You’re my best friend.” You told him. “I’m sorry I want more.”

“I’m not sorry.” He shrugged.

“You’re not?”

“I’m just sorry it took me so long to wake up and find that what I’ve been looking for has been here the whole time.” He said as he hooked his pinky under your chin and brought your face close to his.

“Wait, why does that sound so familiar?” You wondered.

“Don’t think about it too hard.” Peter whispered right before your lips touched. You kissed for the first time under the bleachers but it could have been in a palace for all you knew. The world disappeared around you as Peter slipped a hand behind your head to deepen the kiss. When you pulled away, you rested your foreheads together and laughed nervously together. It was a good nervous, a happy feeling of anticipation.

“Was that Taylor Swift?” You realized when you finally placed where you knew that like from.

“Shh. No.” He shook his head. “But yes, it was. You’re not the only one with good music taste.”

Tag List 🏷️

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@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy

[scenikeight]

What My Father Wanted was to Kill God: Reflecting on the cycle of Rebuild of Evangelion

It's been two years now, since Evangelion 3.0+1.0 hit Japanese cinemas for the first time.

I think many of us chose to say goodbye to Eva on that day, too, leaving satisfied. I can't fault anyone for this. But there's a part of me that stings knowing that 3.0+1.0 has been left relatively un-combed-through in comparison to the other films, and I don't feel right leaving it this way. Today, I want to dissect "loop theory" - what it was before 3.0+1.0 came out, in what ways we missed the mark back then, and finally, what the resolution of 3.0+1.0 meant for the story. I want to understand what it meant to kill God.

This article was heavily inspired by "What was loop theory? Investigating the truth after Evangelion 3.0+1.0", by Japanese fan-channel Eva Fan. If you want to understand the meta angle of Rebuild better (i.e. "why does Rebuild even exist in the first place?"), please watch the NHK Professional documentary on Anno and the production of 3.0+1.0 (not "The Final Challenge of Evangelion" version on Amazon, although you should watch this one too because they're both great.) The meta of Rebuild is outside the scope of this article.

SECTION 1: WHAT WAS LOOP THEORY?

If you're already familiar with the basis of loop theory, you can probably skip this section and head to section 2. This is gonna be a lot of recap. I, for one, have never been a huge fan of the idea of "loop theory". This isn't to say that I've ever disagreed with the conclusion that Rebuild's world is stuck in a loop, more that I felt like painting it as a "theory" is seeding more ground to bad faith actors in the fandom than necessary. However, I'm using the term here to refer generally to different theories about the loops, namely those regarding Kaworu and potential connections with End of Eva. Now that all of the disclaimers are out of the way... ESTABLISHING OUR BASES, PART 1: THE MESSENGER

From the moment he's introduced, Kaworu's entire purpose in the first two films seems to be establishing the loop to the audience. His familiarity with previous versions of Shinji is front and centre in the very first line he speaks.

Some relevant lines from Kaworu in 1.0, 2.0 and 3.0. Full sized image here.

While at this stage, we lack information on how much Kaworu knows, we are at least aware of his knowledge of previous iterations of the Eva world in that first line there: "The Third one again". This is compounded at the very end of 2.0, in which he declares that "this time" (as opposed to previous times, presumably failed attempts), he will make Shinji happy. In 3.0, there's a moment in which he seems to confirm to himself his musing in NGE of having been "born to meet" Shinji (notice the lack of のかもしれない "probably"), and following some more ambiguous lines we'll skip over, at the end of a long speech about parts of ourselves remaining in the world even after we're gone, he suggests he and Shinji will see each other again just before he dies.

These lines lead some fans to believe that the loops were in some way or another, under Kaworu's control. This iteration of loop theory suggested that the loops exist so that Kaworu, who remembers the events of NGE, can achieve his goal of "making Shinji happy".

ESTABLISHING OUR BASES, PART 2: THE RED SEA

Non-exhaustive chart of potential connections between Rebuild and NGE/EOE, compiled by users on /a/ board in 2011. Full sized image here.

There are several environmental aspects of Rebuild's world that seemed to suggest a connection to The End of Evangelion, most obvious amongst these being the red sea. As Kaji explains in 2.0, the seas were blue prior to Second Impact. Flashbacks to this event reveal that it bore slightly more in common with EOE's Third Impact than NGE's Second; note the presence of the Black Moon in the comparison above. Early on in 1.0, there's a shot that shows cross-shaped white outlines in the red sea, that appear to be remnants of EOE's crucified mass production units. The moon in Rebuild also has a large, red streak on its surface, that could be the bloodstain that was left there by Lilith in EOE. Additionally, Shinji's SDAT in NGE always looped the same two songs, shown under the track numbers 25 and 26. In Rebuild, Shinji's SDAT's track number begins at 27, and goes up from there (it seems to represent the relationships he forms with other people). Some iterations of loop theory suggested that Rebuild was set directly after End of Eva, and that the events of Second Impact as remembered by the cast were actually EOE's Third Impact. Additionally, though its relevance to any canonical NGE content is tenuous (tenuous, but not irrelevant when it comes to Rebuild; see the bonus chapter), Sadamoto's NGE manga also ends with a kind of timeloop.

From the epilogue chapter of Yoshiyuki Sadamoto's Neon Genesis Evangelion manga. Full sized image here. After Instrumentality, the epilogue flashes forward to a long time in the future, where the crucified Evas are seen as some kind of relic from an unknown time. We see Shinji, Asuka and Kensuke reincarnated, and Shinji and Asuka meet for the first time, with some sense that they've seen each other before.

Full sized image here. This ending could be seen as an explanation of sorts of what's going on in Rebuild; the characters have been reincarnated a long time after the fact, while elements of the old world remain as part of the environment.

ESTABLISHING OUR BASES, PART 3: DOUBT

It should go without saying that, even at the time, these particular conclusions had holes in them. (This is to say nothing of the hundreds of other iterations of loop theory; if we went through every whacky headcanon explanation people posted on Reddit under the guise of it being any kind of genuine theorization, we'd be here all day)

Sequel Theory, especially past 3.0, required you to ignore contradictory information being presented in the same scenes the evidence being drawn on was. The comparison image I included earlier (it pre-dates 3.0's release, but was certainly spread around long after the fact) suggests that the Four Adams as they appear in 2.0's flashback could have been the Mass Production Evas (of which there are 8, not 4!). Two of the lines from Kaworu it included also don't support this line of reasoning; both "This time..." and "You don't change" imply multiple previous loops, not a singular. And while we haven't mentioned them so far, the coffin he emerges from in 1.0 being one of several was also something people were aware of back then. Speaking of Kaworu - Shinji's Happiness Theory doesn't seem to line up with the way he goes out in NGE, either. He asks Shinji to kill him with the goal of achieving true freedom; it doesn't seem like he's looking for a next time, but rather an ending, away from his destiny as an angel. It doesn't really follow that Rebuild's loops would be a journey he'd set himself on willingly, rather a circumstance he's put into by some other force.

SECTION 2: PAYOFF

3.0+1.0 responds to the foreshadowing of previous entries in a way that's kind of inconclusive, on its face. I'm going to save the potential answers for the next section; for now, let's just go over the information we did get, including some things you may have missed. PAYOFF, PART 1: OUT IN THE OPEN

Kaworu describes Gendo as being the origin of the cycle. Full sized image here.

Our first piece of confirmation, and first in-universe mention of the loops (or "cycle"/"circle"), is this line. "Gendo was the center of Instrumentality this time", the "this time" implying there have been other Instrumentalities with other person/s at the center. "Origin of the cycle" may indicate that Gendo is in control of the loops as a whole, or it may instead indicate that different people start them, perhaps through Instrumentality.

Asuka wakes up on the beach. Full sized image here.

After coming to terms with her feelings, Asuka "wakes up" in the same spot she was lying at the end of EOE, wondering if she was asleep. This is still in the anti-universe, but as was established by Gendo earlier on in the film, the Evangelion Imaginary and the anti-universe as a whole manifest as parts of one's memory. Asuka is our POV character for this section with her, so she must recall having been here. Maybe you could interpret "was I asleep?" as Soryu, specifically, having woken up.

Selections from Kaworu's Instrumentality. Full sized image here.

Anything that focused on Kaworu here was always going to be the juiciest in relation to the loops, but it's surprisingly upfront even then: There have been multiple previous loops, and Kaworu is not in control of them, he just continues to exist without agency over them like all of the other key players do. (That's both of our aforementioned Theories disproven in one scene!)

Kaworu introduces the "Book of Life", Kaji clarifies the details. Full sized image here.

We're also introduced to a new concept here, the "Book of Life". There's very limited information on what this does, but at least Kaji is here to fill in some details Kaworu conveniently leaves out, as he likes to do (that, if nothing else, Shinji and him meeting over and over again is something Kaworu has power over.)

Rei and Shinji discuss the birth of a new world. Full sized image here. Most of Rei's instrumentality scene exists to wrap up the other aspect of Rebuild's narrative we're not talking about here, so I'll skip past all of that to this: with Unit-01 and the Spear of Gaius, Shinji is capable of creating a new world, through a power known as Neon Genesis. It may be worth noting that Shinji has to clarify that he isn't going to rewind time or revert the world, just create a new one on top of the existing. This may establish a precedent for characters in control of Instrumentality being able to do both of those things.

PAYOFF, PART 2: A CLOSER LOOK NGE has a LOT of references to the years its set in. Even beyond the on-screen text, there's plenty of instances of plaques and other signs with the 2015 date on them. Rebuild, however...

Yui's grave as it appears in 2.0. Full sized image here. The only time we ever see a date in the first three films is here, on Yui's gravestone in 2.0. It's partially obscured by flowers, and may appear at first to read the same as her NGE grave did. On closer inspection, though, you can clearly see there's a 0 in front of 2004.

This could be what the gravestone has written on it. Full sized image here. One time could mean anything, but it becomes a pattern when we see more dates in 3.0+1.0...

The manufacture information on the railway track turntable in Village-3. Full sized image here.

The plaque on the AAA Wunder. Full sized image here.

Looking at that date given on the railway turntable, the earliest date 3.0+1.0 could take place is the year 12001. This, combined with the physical evidence present in the first two films, seems to imply that Rebuild follows the same rules established in the Sadamoto manga, that the loop isn't necessarily a reset of the world, but rather a continuous stream of time in which the characters are reincarnated. It makes sense Sadamoto would use this as the basis for his ending, too - he worked on the first two films, and the Mari bonus chapter clearly demonstrates that certain aspects of Rebuild were solidified during their production. Furthermore, the scene in which Shinji asks Gendo what he wishes for has more visual references to EOE than you might think...

Gendo grasps his right arm, as if he remembers the time he lost it. Full sized image here. The arm thing is obvious, and the line he says there could be about EOE, but you might notice something else in that image on the left there. There's a picture of Shinji in the background. That image comes from one of the flashing sequences in EOE's Third Impact, in fact, the entire sequence is overlaid on top of that shot of Gendo.

This shot in 3.0+1.0 versus the same sequence in EOE. The encode of 3+1 I was using was dropping frames here, so I had to cut some of it out. Video mirror here.

By the way, adult Asuka's official name, as used in every piece of merchandising she's been in so far, is just "Asuka Langley", not "Asuka Langley Shikinami" or "Asuka Langley Soryu".

Good Smile Company's "1/7 Scale Figure: Asuka Langley". She has a fair few figures, all of them with this name. Other merchandise never calls regular Asuka this. Full sized image here.

Rei holds a doll of Tsubame. Full sized image here.

The same thing ends up happening with Rei in-universe. The version of her with long hair is clearly Rei from 2.0, who has been inside the entry plug this whole time, but when we see her on the stage, she's holding a baby doll. It has Tsubame (Hikari and Toji's daughter)'s name written on it. It seems to follow that different versions of the same character end up re-joining into one during instrumentality, be that cross-loop like Soryu and Shikinami, or in-loop, like Rei and Sokkuri (Lookalike). This would appear to go beyond just regaining memories of previous loops, as Rei and Sokkuri existed in the same loop independently of one another.

SECTION 3: A PROPOSAL

And now, to get into the real meat of the issue. ...Whose doing was this, exactly?

Here's the thing: Kaworu, we can already rule out. We know it wasn't him. The next most likely candidate you might think of is Gendo, but... is he, really? Because Gendo died in EOE (perhaps not physically, but regardless), killed by Yui, but ultimately of his own volition. He had come to terms with himself when he died. He doesn't seem like someone who would have still had unfinished business. Then, what of Shinji? Well, I think it's the same deal with him, too. Shinji might not have found his place in life at the end of EOE, but he also doesn't seem like he was clamoring to start over, after all of that. In their video, "What was loop theory? Investigating the truth after Evangelion 3.0+1.0", Japanese Eva fan, Eva Fan (lol), of Minna no Eva Fan fame, gives us a different answer:

It was Yui.

Yui entered the Eva experiment for Shinji's sake. Full sized image here.

Yui's motives in NGE may have been left mostly up to the audiences' interpretation, but I don't think there's any doubt she loved her son more than anything.

As Unit-01, she becomes God at the end of EOE, accepting the burden of being the eternal proof of mankind's existence. She leaves Shinji behind, knowing that he still hasn't found his place in life.

A PROPOSAL, PART 1: YOU WERE WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT

Yui leaves Shinji as he comes into his own. Full sized image here.

The end point of the loops and emergence into the new world: Shinji makes the decision to create a world that doesn't need the Eva. Shinji and Yui, previously one being, separate. Shinji breaks the curse of the Eva, becoming an adult, and now away from his mother, emerges into the real world.

As explained by Gendo, the anti-universe, the end point of Rebuild's story, is also the beginning, and somewhere Yui, at one point, resided.

The beginning and the end are one in the same. Full sized image here. The anti-universe is "the one and only place fate may be bent to one's will". Shinji, in his parting words to Yui in EOE, tells her he thinks he'll keep making the same mistakes over and over. To quote Hideaki Anno: Eva is a story that repeats. In the aforementioned Eva Fan video, they suggest that the anti-universe may in fact be the world of NGE (perhaps, the world inside of Unit-01). Yui creates a new world through Neon Genesis, one which resembles the old, to tell the story of Shinji anew. To give him another chance to grow. For as long as Eva is Shinji's story, it is Yui's; her goal was to bring Shinji a bright future, after all. The act of piloting the Eva sees the child return to the place they resided before birth; back into the comfort of their mother's womb. In Rebuild, the “mother” seems to become all but irrelevant - Yui Ayanami may reside inside Unit-01 but this is never touched on in the same way; Asuka’s mother doesn’t seem to even exist, and her original seems to reside inside Unit-13. The existence or non-existence of a mother’s soul inside of an Eva dictates nothing about who can synchronize with it (see: Unit-02, Unit-08, Unit-13, etc). However, taking a step back, it’s almost as if the reason why the presence of the “mother” is missing from the material world of Rebuild is because the entire series takes place within the world the mother created. If Shinji entering the cockpit of an Eva unit in NGE is returning to the womb, then what is Shinji doing by existing in the world of Rebuild?

In deciding to create a world that doesn't need the Eva, Shinji is accepting life without his mother. The parting of mother and son represents the break in the loop. He emerges into the new world, reborn as an adult.

INTERJECTION: WHAT’S IN A NAME?: YUI IKARI/YUI AYANAMI

Rebuild’s Yui’s name isn’t Yui Ikari (at least, her maiden name isn’t) - It’s Yui Ayanami. In NGE, Gendo took her surname when they married. In Rebuild, Gendo already had the surname Ikari, and Yui Ayanami took his.

I think fans have been generally puzzled by the purpose of this change, but this interpretation - that Yui Ikari from NGE is the heart of the loop, the God that created the world and the God that Gendo would kill at the end of 3.0+1.0 - would seem to explain why this is the case. She’s Yui Ayanami because she’s a copy - like Rei is - of the original Yui. A Yui created by Yui Ikari. This also may explain why the date on Yui's grave says "02004" - after all, it's the grave of Yui Ikari, not the grave of Yui Ayanami.

Rei of NGE is more than just a clone of Yui, she also holds a piece of Yui’s soul (in the form of emotional memory), while Yui herself resides in Unit-01. Therefore, it stands to reason that Yui Ayanami is not really an individual, but rather someone who holds a piece of Yui Ikari’s soul - I think even more so than Rei (who undeniably is an individual). Yui Ayanami may function as a kind of messenger for Yui Ikari, who holds the knowledge she has and steers the story in the direction it needs to go. There are many players in Rebuild who are more like symbols than characters, and I think this is a huge part of why Yui Ayanami is not a character like Yui Ikari was.

For the sake of brevity, I’m going to use “Yui Ikari” to refer to Original Yui, and “Yui Ayanami” to refer to Rebuild Yui, unless stated otherwise, for the remainder of this post.

A PROPOSAL, PART 2: ...WERE YOU THERE THE WHOLE TIME?

Kaworu himself wasn't brought into Instrumentality in EOE directly. Rather, the fetus of Adam was, through Rei intaking Gendo's hand. If souls like Rei and Sokkuri are capable of rejoining into one in Instrumentality, I wonder if the presence of Kaworu in Instrumentality can be explained by his soul rejoining with that of the Adam fetus. He definitely appears as Adam there, the same way Rei is Lilith. Which brings us to this:

Shinji and Gendo upon seeing familiar souls: "Were you there the whole time?". Full sized image here.

Gendo offers Shinji the apology he never got to hear in EOE, and then realizes: Yui's soul was residing in Shinji. Instrumentality likely reconciled the souls of Yui Ayanami (the individual who became Unit-01 in this timeline) and Yui Ikari (the soul who lived on as God, and in her son), the same way it may have reconciled Kaworu and Adam's.

For as long as Yui's soul resided in Unit-01, and in Shinji, her story was not over. For as long as Shinji was stuck in his loop of making the same mistakes over and over, Eva's story was not over. For as long as the Eva exists, Yui will, and End of Eva leaves Yui there, in space, as the eternal proof mankind existed at all.

If 3.0+1.0 says "goodbye to all of Evangelion", it must be the end of Yui Ikari's story, too.

INTERJECTION: WHAT’S IN A NAME?: “SHIN EVANGELION”

The Japanese title of Evangelion 3.0+1.0: Thrice Upon A Time is シン・エヴァンゲリオン劇場版𝄇, (Romaji: Shin Evangerion Gekijouban𝄇, English: Shin* Evangelion Theatrical Edition𝄇”).

There are three points of interest in this title:

Shin - The use of “Shin” here falls in line with the titles of Hideaki Anno’s other recent films: Shin Godzilla, Shin Ultraman, and the upcoming Shin Kamen Rider. While I’m not really the best person to explain this as I’m not really familiar with the source material, the other Shin films are based pretty heavily on earlier works in their respective franchises (I believe both Shin Godzilla and Shin Ultraman have sequences that are recreations of scenes from the original movie/series). Shin Eva also, obviously, does the same thing with NGE and EOE scenes. *According to an interview with producer Akihiro Yamauchi on Shin Godzilla, the title of “Shin” was chosen for the film due to the variety of meanings it conveys. In all four titles, it is written ambiguously, and could be read as “new”, “true”, or “God”, amongst other things.

Evangelion - NGE’s title and Rebuild’s title are actually spelled differently. エヴァンゲリオン is the spelling of Evangelion used in NGE, ヱヴァンゲリヲン is the spelling used in Rebuild’s title (not the in-universe machines, for the record). They’re pronounced the same way, but Rebuild’s spelling uses characters that are a little archaic (if you want to get technical, it could be romanized as “Wevangeriwon”; note the use of “wo” instead of “o” just like in Kaworu’s name, and you probably get it.) Shin Evangelion uses the NGE spelling, not the Rebuild spelling, which makes it sound like “Shin Neon Genesis Evangelion Movies”, not “Fourth Entry in the Rebuild Franchise” (in fact, “Evangelion Gekijouban” comes from Death and Rebirth/End of Eva’s Japanese names). Earlier posters for this film in English gave it the NGE font rather than a Rebuild style logo, which pretty accurately represents how this looks.

The symbol at the end - The symbol at the end of the title, is a symbol that’s used in sheet music. This could be read two ways - “Shin Evangelion Gekijouban: End”, or “Shin Evangelion Gekijouban Repeat”; If you assume 𝄇 is one symbol, then it’s a “repeat” sign (tells the player to repeat a section of the sheet music). If you assume it’s a colon and then a subtitle, then it’s an “end” sign (𝄂, signifies the end of the piece.)

A PROPOSAL, FINAL PART: TO KILL GOD

Full sized image here. Gendo's goal in NGE and Rebuild is the same: To be reunited with Yui. In Rebuild, he will become God through the use of the Key of Nebuchadnezzar and trigger the Additional Impact with himself at the center, so he can see her again in Instrumentality. But there's a second aspect to this plan... Killing God.

Gendo lays out his intentions. Full sized image here.

I think it would be naïve of me to suggest that Gendo had any intention of ending things when he said this. These lines obviously pertain to something else (I think all of this is covered in the process of beginning the Additional Impact anyway), and it's made clear that he goes into Instrumentality as stubbornly as he always is. He fully intended to destroy all of the spears, so nobody would have any way of manipulating or ending Instrumentality, so he could live peacefully with Yui for the rest of time.

Whatever it might have meant there... "Killing God" takes on a completely different meaning by the end of the film. Yui Ikari is an existence that will live on indefinitely; someone who will never die, even long after humanity is gone. In becoming Unit-01, she alone will wait in the universe forever. She once resided in the anti-universe; the Promised Land, the one and only place fate may be bent to one's will; she created the world of Rebuild of Evangelion, the beginning of everything. Yui did all of this to give her son a better life. To let him try over and over again until he broke the curse of the Eva, and emerged into a brighter future.

She, Unit-01, Evangelion as a whole, could not rest until Shinji grew into his own. Gendo comes to the conclusion during Instrumentality, after bleeding his heart out to his son, that he isn't any closer to reuniting with her.

Full sized image here.

But after acknowledging Shinji's adulthood, accepting his own fragility, and resolving their story...

Full sized image here.

Full sized image here.

...He realizes she was right in front of him this whole time.

Full sized image here.

With this, Gendo exits the train - the same train his story began, the train station he abandoned Shinji at all of those years ago - his story is over. He no longer seeks eternal life with Yui. As Shinji breaks his own curse of Eva and is reborn out of the comfort of his mother's world, and into a world of his own creation, he says goodbye to all Evangelion.

Full sized image here. Gendo, in peace at the end of his own long journey, is willing to let Yui sleep. And so, he kills God.

Full sized image here.

[imagitory]

So! Disney Parks has released a full ride POV of Tiana's Bayou Adventure, formerly Splash Mountain, at Walt Disney World. I will just let you all watch it first, before delving into my personal thoughts. Unless you want spoilers, at which point, go on -- dig a little deeper!

All right, so right off the bat, I have to say this --

I have no nostalgia for the original Splash Mountain. Like, none. At all. I'm much more into Disney parks "classic" rides like Haunted Mansion or Pirates of the Caribbean or story-centric rides like Alice in Wonderland than I am Disney's thrill rides like Space Mountain or Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Splash Mountain was really only fun for me when it was hot enough outside that getting soaked was refreshing, at which point it had such a long line that Single Rider was the only way to not wait in a long line, and I'm the sort to more enjoy thrill rides with other people than by myself, so I really just never indulged in it that much. (In fact, the most prominent time I remember going on it, our boat got stuck on the ramp going up toward the big drop and I had to listen to the vultures right over me crowing about how I was going to die for a solid fifteen minutes.) To top it all off, the Song of the South theming quite frankly made me uncomfortable -- yes, the ride was only ever focused on the animated segments of the film, but it remains the only Disney ride (past or present) that I can think of where the less you know about the ride's characters, origin, and themes, the better. And considering that Tiana is my favorite Disney princess and her movie is only just now starting to get the attention and love it should've had all the way along, I was frankly delighted to hear about this new refurbishment.

So yeah, I'm honestly the sort of Disney fan who was going in with a very sunny outlook about this refurbishment. The animatronics' footage released earlier this year looked great, they got Anika Noni Rose back to sing the ride's new original song...I was hyped. But now that I've seen this...yeah, I won't lie, I am a bit disappointed.

The whole reason you're supposedly on this ride is to help Tiana search the bayou for a band for this big party being hosted in New Orleans. I don't mean to be rude, but...why are we looking in the bayou? Yeah, sure, Louis is from the bayou and he plays the trumpet, but he was the odd one out, remember? He wanted to play jazz with talented human performers, but ended up getting chased off the boat when he first tried. If there were a lot of other animals in the bayou who played jazz, then why would Louis have wanted to become human so much in the first film, before realizing that people could love him as the jazz-playing alligator he was? Not to mention that New Orleans is full to the brim with talented musicians already. If this celebration was maybe being arranged by Louis, that could explain why bayou critters are more involved here, but even that seems a little shaky.

Another thing I really didn't like is how Tiana's husband Naveen is barely in it. Tiana and Naveen as a pair is one of my all-time favorite Disney couples, and I would've loved to hear him and Tiana actually sing a duet here, since they only really ever sang in one song in their original movie together, and that was before the two got together! Tiana's best friend Charlotte is also barely in it despite being one of my favorites, but I thoroughly expected that -- the entire time Tiana and Louis were looking around, I really wanted Naveen there, when the original film really accented how well these three (and Ray) worked as a group. It also could've given us a chance to rewrite/reference "When We're Human," the first time these three performed as a trio.

There was also a good amount of "filler space" in this ride. I mean, at one point, Mama Odie feels the need to shrink us out of nowhere, I guess just to accent that the frogs and the fireflies also like to perform...but well, Tiana was a frog once, and Louis was able to enjoy Ray and the fireflies' music in the original movie without shrinking down. And really, in between the few fully depicted scenes (which don't feature a lot of action or storytelling outside of animals playing music), there are a lot of gaps where nothing's really going on and all we can do is just look at the random plants in a garden or at the various bayou locations. There aren't even any clever story elements slipped into those locations either, like the macabre details about Constance's dead husbands in the Haunted Mansion or Splash Mountain's references to Brer Rabbit, Brer Bear, and Brer Fox's houses and how their appearances and sizes reflect each character.

But my biggest problem with this new ride is its lack of teeth or stakes. If you're going to have this ride with a BIG DROP at the end, that drop has gotta mean something. There should be some real anticipation -- not necessarily fear, but the climb should get your blood pumping, waiting on the edge of your seat. And as much as I wasn't a huge fan of the original Splash Mountain, it did that! Remember, this ride isn't The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Undersea Adventure or Snow White's Enchanted Kiss -- this is a ride with a height requirement: in other words, it's geared toward older children and adults. Even Radiator Springs Racers -- another kid-centric thrill ride based on an animated movie -- has you race around in the dark, almost crash, get stopped by the Sheriff for speeding, and get chased by the biggest of those cow tractor things (sorry, I'm not a Cars fan, I don't really care). The child guests who'd be riding Tiana's Bayou Adventure could withstand a little more edge in this ride's story line, even just a little -- and the adults I daresay would've loved to see some reference to the Friends on the Other Side in the mix! (I would've! Dr. Facilier is the best Disney villain from the entire Disney Revival, if you ask me.) It would've allowed the ride to use more music from the film, reuse some of the dark ambience from the original Splash Mountain on that climb, and given us that stronger relief upon reaching the party safely. It also could've better explained us getting shrunk against our will! Maybe while looking for a band for Louis's surprise party with Tiana and Naveen, the Friends decide to corner us and try to keep us from leaving the bayou because they want to devour our shadows or some whatever, and it's ultimately thanks to Mama Odie and Louis that we're able to escape the Friends by taking a "leap of faith" which transports us back to New Orleans with the new band we found at the party Charlotte was helping us plan. Or they could've just based the ride on the bloody movie -- that would've been fun too.

I'm not going to act like this ride is terrible -- I mean, as I said, the animatronics are great, and the overall aesthetic is pretty...and of course, if you're a thrill ride nut, you'll like the drops. But the finished result still feels a little lackluster, compared to other "rethemings" we've been given in the past, like the Incredicoaster, Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission BREAKOUT!, and (if you want to go back further for a smaller budget example) Monster's Inc: Mike and Sulley to the Rescue.

So yeah, um...hopefully people like Tiana's Bayou Adventure better than I do just watching this ride-through, but if even they don't, the Disney parks could always refurbish this baby with some more magic down the road. Until then, though...

"Maybe next time."

[candlelightreader]

I am currently on a Jane Eyre bender, having watched every single adaptation since 1943 (I couldn't find 1934 or prior) in the last two weeks, and I have a lot of thoughts! But two thoughts are at the very top:

a) This piece of literature has had a TV or feature adaptation practically every decade, sometimes more, since the 1910s (and I'm only counting British and American version) and is we're due one this decade. Bring it on! I'll take a series after 2011, but hey 2006 is great already so maybe we just need another film? Or just give us the 2011 director's cut, you cowards!

b) (and this is the bigger point for today) I cannot explain to myself why, while I find age gaps intolerable in real life and especially in modern times, I really can't see it (and forget about it even) in Jane Eyre--for the most part. It doesn't truly bother me that she's barely 18 and Rochester 20 years older. Not even when you take into account the kind of life he led before he meets her and the added major power imbalance in their situation as boss/employee.

I mean, I have come to understand that the power imbalance given the norms at the time is the reason he brings in Ingram to try to get her to admit her feelings. He can't come outright and ask her for fear of appearing like a cad and stepping over the line if she doesn't reciprocate his feelings. At the same time, she can't ask him plainly because if she is wrong about his feelings, she'll only be the cliché governess who comes on to her boss and probably have to leave the very nice job and first refuge she ever had. So they are both at an impasse.

(I choose here to take at face value the idea that Bertha is truly mad and not driven mad and that the whole thing is tragedy because he's unable to divorce her. It's its own rant to discuss what she may represent or what the truth may be with her. Also noting that the age gap is only problematic because she's a teenager and he's basically middle-aged. If they had met later, at least nearer 25 for her, then it wouldn't be the same, although it really only stops being concerning after about 29, right?)

Anyway, I come back to the fact that I feel bothered that I am not that bothered that they have such gap. Because the other imbalances (wealth and employment status) adjust themselves eventually, but not age; he remains older and she younger. Is it because in the very specific context they are in they are equal in spirit and each really have something to teach the other? Or perhaps the time period? Because I definitely feel I would have an issue with the story if it was set in the 21st century, only because an 18yo today is not in any way the same as one in the mid 19th century.

She also has a superior self-awereness to her, given her life experiences that he lacks when they meet. He just has to first be humbled and taken down notches to get to her level. In that sense, he is no more mature for having lived longer and is stuck emotionally and perhaps mentally too in the age he was when his father and brother's died soon after his first marriage. But it remains she is a girl with absolutely no experience with men and he's a lothario who's been gallivanting the globe seducing women and being a sugar daddy.

One may say it's also because it is addressed by the characters themselves and that Rochester seems self-aware that he is much older, even at a time when many men of his station would see it as their due to get the 'young thing'. He makes remarks on his age in a way that diffuses the idea that she is blind to the potential for corruption that is there in their situation. He knows she deserves better.

But most important perhaps is that, in real life, the idea of a 38 yo and 18 yo getting together feels wrong because we have no insight into the relationship and only see the imbalance (justifiably because we know too well of the way older partners will manipulate their younger ones) no matter the gender. So the insight into Jane Eyre's mind manages to convince me of the validity of the relationship than if I was reading it as a document removed from her voice.

Jane Eyre is not the only story where I have contradictory views of age gaps. I am sure I've read other romances with gaps that don't bother me, when in real life I find it reprehensible for the most part.

Anyhow, I will certainly be looking into academic breakdowns of the couple to seek some answers, as I do.

These where thoughts I wanted to put down. Will come back later for thoughts on the adaptations.

[dreamties]

Bo Sinclair General Relationship HCs

A/n- A while ago (like, last year while ago), realized that I had never actually written anything for a lot of the characters on my list. So, I wanted to change that. Dug up this work from my drafts and edited it for y'all to enjoy! <3

One for Vinnie is already in the works!! and i believe i already have a post for Lester <33

T/W: Bo should be his own warning (he's kind of mean), very vague nsft implications

despite the way he treats his brothers- he does love them. Vinnie and Les rr all he's had for so long ! he just doesn't know how to show them he cares, since all he really knows is the pain and hurt his parents (especially his mother) caused him.

of course that doesn't make everything he does okay! but at least it helps to explain the cold and hard exterior he always has. not only is he capable of showing kindness- he actually has a very soft nice side to him. it's just difficult to reach that layer.

when the two of you first meet, he thinks ur cute and flirts with you. who knew that he'd be letting you live that fateful afternoon...

after that first encounter- Bo's gonna seem like a total asshole at first. (well- he is)

it takes months...but he does warm up to your presence after a while. he still doesn't totally trust you. he had been keeping a very close eye on you, making sure you wouldn't leave. but he loosens up and lets you explore town by yourself more. not constantly stuck by your side.

any touch or affection that's on the spicier side is likely to develop in the first few months. the soft side of him can take years to fully unravel though...

god damn is he handsy. always has a hand on ur ass ( discreetly hidden in ur pant pockets, or on display for anyone in town to let them know HEY. ur fuckin taken >:( )

not much of a hugger. especially in public. exceptions to this are: holding uu or being held by you while the two of you sleep OR if one of uu is upset. hugs and gentle touches when he's angry always calm his nerves a bit.

what touches and when they're okay takes a lot of experience of situations to figure out. Bo isn't straight forward with his feelings. You have to infer and make mistakes and fuck up a lot to really understand him

also !! picking uu up and twirling uu around as an occasional greeting <3

okay honestly?? he's a total flirt but also a bit of a romantic. like Classic Romance.

there's not much good that came from his upbringing- but he learned to be quite the gentleman and knows how to treat his partner right (sort of...not really) (you probably have to teach him to be kinder and more gentle to ya- he'd work on that for you, though <3333)

like, I think he'd get his S/O roses or your first date would be at their fake movie theater set up. Bo would flip through a few of the old reels, settling on whichever one seemed the least boring. it would be only you and him (and several wax figures). maybe you'll rest your head against his shoulder as you watch the film, he'll snake an arm around you, pulling you ever so slightly closer. holding a small conversation filled with passing remarks and stupidly flirtatious lines. which begins in small whispers and ends in uproarious laughter. you leave before the movie even ends (Bo will deal with it later), and you just can't help keeping your eyes off him.

(he's quite the charmer, isn't he?)

back to physical affection with him !! his kisses are more often than not- rough. They don't meld or connect to yours- they don't Try to. they'll bruise and hurt you.

yet, at the end of the night, he'll peck little kisses on your face and lips and down your neck.

is very keen on using terms like: gorgeous, beautiful, handsome, etc when referring to you. like, instead of your name lol

he'll just lean against the door frame, seeing you plate the table for dinner- for him and his brothers. a smug smirk on his face as he ogles you.

"hey gorgeous, miss me?" he'll say. putting his fingers beneath your chin, lifting your face so you could see each other better. kiss the corners of your mouth, lick the sweetness from your lips.

you'll turn your gaze to him. surprised by him. not by how nice he's being (you know your boyfriend, and your boyfriend could also be a real sweet fellow if he tried), but from his sudden appearance. he didn't usually seek you out when you cook or bake.

face melting into an adoring, eager expression when your eyes finally meet his.

"bo," you'll smile. "good to see ya down so early. what's got ya so excited?"

he'll smile and press a dozen kisses across your body. "to see you, darlin."

also, while i imagine Bo sees himself more fitted for a traditional relationship- man/woman, him doing the work, his gal staying at him to cook and such. . . he's known to surprise folks every once in a while. he doesn't mind who or what you are- either way he's gonna be a curmudgeon till you grow on him.

despite Bo's personal feelings- he'll try to apologize to you when he fucks up. he doesn't really do apologies- especially if he thinks he's in the right.

he hates seeing you all upset, especially from something that he's done- he'll treat you extra special whenever he messes up <33

who knows . . . maybe Bo will even change and grow as a person for you hehe

[saintsenara]

I always love hearing about people’s fandom and reading/writer journeys especially since they usually involve some very cursed content and fun navigating ‘90’s and ‘00’s tech. Where did you start, what got you hooked, how have your tastes changed over the years, what made you decide to go from reader to writer? 💖

thank you for the ask, anon - and you’re correct that my experience was one of cursed 2000s technology, given that i started reading harry potter fanfiction via the twin madhouses of livejournal and fictionalley - nothing ever tagged beyond "lemon!!!1!" - on the family computer using dial-up internet.

[god bless the fact that the parents of my generation had no inclination to care about what we were consuming online - one of my brothers was a huge fan of rotten.com, and he's perfectly well-adjusted...]

my reading tastes were, initially, lord of the rings focused - i still think* about a particular elrohir/námo mandos fic which had me in chokehold when i was about fourteen - but i was as big a harry potter fan as anyone of my generation [shoutout in particular to one of my pals, who spent the entirety of a geography trip in 2006 speculating what the unknown horcruxes could be with me while we froze our bollocks off in some godforsaken bog in county antrim]. so it wasn’t a surprise, i suppose, that i was clicking on any fanfiction links i could find for that series too…

[the fic which has stayed with me most profoundly from those days was called something along the lines of murder at malfoy manor. it was on fictionalley and was this exceptional combination of the rules of cluedo and the ron-is-time-travelling dumbledore theory. it was incredible.]

but i wasn’t a writer. i was one of those science-y, not-like-other-girls teenagers who was performatively really cunty about other girls who liked to write little stories or draw little pictures, which i thought was fundamentally unserious. the fact that i was an avid consumer of these stories didn’t make me question what the fuck i was being such an arsehole about…

because i loved a bit of fanfic, and not only did i love fanfic but i demonstrably had a fandom presence and was clued up on fandom lore - i could quote my immortal, i knew what a snape-wife was, i was on a forum or two - although i went to great lengths to avoid anyone in my real life discovering that. and i do feel extremely proud of myself that i have a reputation among people i know for not having been particularly cringe as a teen [how little they know… i’ve just got a good poker face.]

i lost interest in harry potter when i went to university - i started uni in 2010, when it was still socially acceptable to be really into it, and i definitely went to my fair share of themed parties in the first couple of years, but by the time i graduated in 2016 [i did medicine, so it’s a six-year slog] i’d not opened the books, watched the films, or thought about the fandom in years. i remember rolling my eyes at the number of people i know who went to see cursed child when it first opened. bit cringe to be in your twenties and into harry potter, isn’t it?

[lol. lmao.]

but a global crisis changes things, i suppose.

like so many people, i got back into fandom during the coronavirus pandemic - although, regrettably, not because i was stuck in the house. i don’t think i’ll ever be able to accurately describe what it was like to work in a hospital in 2020, except to say that by the time i got home each day the only thing i could do other than stare blankly at a wall was lose myself in the comfort of media i knew well and its memories of a simpler time. and once i’d re-read the books a few times… well, it was only a matter of time before i was scrolling ao3 at 3am.

and, because my ego hasn’t changed even if my relationship with my own gender has, it did not take a lot to convince me that i could write stories which were just as good as the ones i was reading.

you can be the judge of whether i succeeded.

[*i’m being coy. i have it bookmarked on ao3]

[popculturebuffet]

It's Not the Years, It's the Mileage Finale: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy archelogists and welcome to the final installment of my Indiana Jones Retrospective, It's Not the Years, It's the Milleage. For those just joining us for the epic conculsion, i've covered all four previous Indy films over the past few months, from the good with great action set pieces, iconic lines, and deft character work, to the bad with the uncomfortable amount of brown face, temple of dooms theme park version of india and support of colonolisim, and Crystal Skulls sterotpyical 'savage tribesman", to the just plain weird with aborted ideas such as a haunting in scottland, a chess game to the death, sun wukong vs indiana jones, and an out and out alien invasion which Indy makes out during suprising no one.

IT's been one long, LONG journey and today.. it ends, as does the film franchise. With Dial of Destiny. Dial is the main reason we did this: a fresh fim with ford, with a fresh director in Logan maestro James Mangold, a final chapter for the ages.. and it has been recived with a resounding

Yeah while there was some hype for this film from Fans of Mangold or Indy (Of which i'm now both) it's now gotten to the point Wikipedia has out and out labeled it a box office bomb and Naturally the failure of this film has been taken with grace and restraint by the internet

It hasn't helped that Indy has come out in a summer with plummeting box office from usual money makers, so people are only more on their "Why aren't people seeing these films" kick. When really the reasons aren't new. We have "Doing the same shit a diffrent day instead of going with what was new and working " (Transformers rise of the beasts), "Another film outboxing it" (Elemental), "The company behind it simply not promoting it at all" (Ruby Gilman, which I intend to review at some point), " or "Oopsie we hired a pedophile as our leading actor, have no idea where we were taking this franchise when we started this film, and our company is ran by an evil overlord no one likes whose actively made the media landscape worse ever since he took over, better hope our promotoinal tactics work..."

The issues aren't new, their simply finding hitting people over the head.. and that's what happened here. Indy had an uphill battle: I was only invested at first because James Mangold was directing it and Logan is still one of the best superhero movies ever made. I got more invested thanks to this retrospective. Given Disney's slipshod treamant of star wars and terrible treatment of last jedi as well as the mcu being a mess right now, it's not a huge leap that many audiences really didn't want to gamble on ANOTHER disney live action movie that just looked okay, no matter how much Phoebe Waller Bridge or Antonio Bandareas it had. While it's sad as I honestly don't think the film deserved THIS much of a bomb.. I can't blame audiences for waiting for Disney Plus. We simply live in an era now where most people have tons of streamers or will get one for a month to watch one movie and anything else they've caught up on. We're simply entering an era where having a big brand name isn't a guarantee and in this case can be a curse if that name is disney. Big franchises can work, see Spider-Verse and Scream VI making great money, but you have to have something to offer.

So come with me under the cut as we see if Indy has just that or is best left in the past

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHOYHOY

When I'm Gone, He's Gone

As you'd expect, Lucas still wanted to make a 5th film after Skull, with Speilberg and Ford on board as always. This time though..

Lucas himself went to the press saying he wanted to do something new and Speilberg was stuck in the past... which I translate as Lucas once again went kinda nuts on the premise while , much like after Temple of Doom, Speilberg wanted something a tad more grounded to avoid making the same mistake twice. It comes off as the two just could never quite agree on what to do and eventually.. decided to let the franchise move on without him, selling it and the rest of Lucasfilm to Disney. Disney naturally wanted an indy film right away and after getting the distribution rights one year later in 2023.. it took them a decade.

Yeahhh while we got the sequel trilogy pretty fast in hollywood time it took a good decade for Indy to put his hat on. At first there were rumors floated about about recasting, then it was settled on ford, then Speilberg was set to direct and the film proceded to go through a ton of writers, from Crystal Skull's david koepp

And even Dan Fogelman of This is Us royalty was floated as one of the writers. The film also got delayed thanks to Speilbergs work on Ready Player One and the Post, before he eventually stepped off all together. He claimed it was to pass it on to a fresh director, but it really feels like his heart wasn't in it anymore, and it was best someone whose heart was took the lead.

Enter James Mangold, director of The Wolverine, Logan and Kicker of ass. Mangold was a solid choice and my book and along with his usual co-writers Jez and John Henry Butterworth, who I assure you are real people but cannot assure you aren't old timey prospectors sent forward in time, hashed out the script.

Casting went smoothly, as did filiming, with the only hiccup being production's start being delayed because of COVID. They shot in morocco, england, ireland and spain, along with the us as you'd expect. Speilberg wasn't entirely detached as he still advised and watched dalies, ultimately loving the final product. So now we can actually look at that product let's start with how it writes Indy himself. The Mileage Adds Up

One of the things that made me not really enjoy Doom or Crystal.. was a lack of character work. Indy was about the same as when he started the adventure in contrast to Raiders and Last Crusade taking him on a wonderful character journey, in the former getting his passion back and in the later reconcliing with his dad. Dial of Destiny dosen't reach those highs, but I still think it does a decent job. The opening.. is okay detailing Indy having an adventures in the last day sof the third reich, setting up both Helna's Dad and our big bad, as well as Archimedes Dial, basied on the real life Antyhkiera Mechanism. I really do love the dial as a plot device as it's a departure, being the only one of the five to not involve a god of some sort, and yes the alien counts. It's just a time machine a famous philospher made. It's still fucking neat, I mean IT'S A TIME MACHINE A FAMOUS PHILSOPHER MADE, but it's a bit more grounded while still being pretty damn nifty.

So while the intro is mostly.. eh for me, what it does really well... is contrast the indy we know.. with where he is in 1969: Unlike Crystal Skull, which glossed over the massive amount of time passed, here were with an indy who feels both his age.. and that he's been left behind by the world. That time has taken everything from him: his friends, his father, his marriage.. and his son. He's left to yell at the neighbors, go to a class that dosen't pay attention and have a retirment party he clearly dosen't want. Granted his retirment does feel like a missed opportunity as wikipedia mentioned it pre-release as being forced out due to speaking out against operation paper clip, something that I either missed.. or more likely simply ISN'T in the film. It's a real shame, the idea is great it's just not present. This creates a really intriguing Parallel: Indy at the start of the last adventure of his we'll see is a broken down man whose years of adventuering have left a mark on him, who is estranged from Marion, has not a ton to live for, and is clearly only loosely holding it together. And the Indy we met in Raiders.. is a broken down man whose years of adventuring left a mark on him, is estranged from marion, has not a ton to live for and is clearly only loosely holding it together. The diffrence is how tired Indy is. In his late 30's he's beaten a bit and reduced to graverobbing.. but the minute he gets a real assignemnt int he grail, he jumps to it. He has his job, he has his friendship with marcus, and he's able to fix things with marion. He's not completely gone, he's just lost. Indy in Dial... has watched all his friends and his son, more on that in a minute, die, his marriage fall apart, and his job slip out under him. Without his job.. he's a man without a purpose.

This also ironically creates another Scrooge McDuck parallel, another bit of symmetry and one I didn't plan on till I started writing this and thought of the story: Indy reminds me a lot of Scrooge in the final part of Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck. Both are seasoned adventueres who have either pushed away anyone they have left or lost them and feel they just have nothing left but to slowly rot away.

And like Scrooge it takes a bolt of inspiration from the new generation after him to get Indy back in the game. In this case it's the highlight of the film, Helena Shaw, played by the wonderful, funderful fleabag, Phoebe Waller-Bridge. WB likely dosen't need any introduction but just in case she was showrunner of the successful and inventive stage show turned amazon prime show fleabag, showran killing eve and in general is pretty delightful. So it's no huge suprise she's great as Helena Shaw, daughter of Marcus Indy's sidekick for the intro who became obessed with our titular macguffin, Archemedis Dial, which can travel through time some time, though not to the end of all man kind. Helena is a neat character in that they managed to make her distinct while still giving her enough similarties to indy to serve well as his shadow, his ghost of sins past, him in his prime. She's also a brilliant archelogist, has a kid sidekick like indy did in temple of doom with Teddy Kumar (Ethann Isidoore), sells priceless artifacts for a profit, has a messy love life, kicks plenty of ass, and tries to command every room she's in. What helps seperate them is their demeanor: Indy is gruff, snarky and surly. While Helena can snark with the best of them, she's fast talking, fast thinking, and tends to use charm as much as the old Indy Guile both heroes posses. The main diffrence is rather than sell to museums, she sells to private collectors...

Okay the REAL difference is that she's only in it for the money while Indy at least, on some level, cared about the history even at his lowest. Helena just sees all her father could do and all she learned from being around him before his passing as a way to get. Once again like Indy.. she had a father who cared more about some big treasure than her child.. and a godfather who cared more about what was going on in his life than ever checking up on her. She's a person whose been left to her own devices and feels she's doing just fine.. but honestly could be putting her talents to better use. Maybe not in a school like indy, but she could help return artifacts to their countries... probably still for a pretty penny, but not just to some random asshole to sit in his den.

You can tell dealing with her just makes Indy feel even more tired, which is somehow possible after all he's been through. He's once again seeing a ghost of his past and this time can't seem to get it through her head. When she celebrates shortly after his friend Renaldo dies, he has to sharply remind her. Nothing seems to get through to her.. till we get to THAT scene. Probably the best scene of the film. The climax is awesome.. but it's this one moment. On a boat at night, Helena asks Indy what he'd do with the dial, clearly thinking some grand adventure.. instead Indy: I'd stop my son from enlisting Helena: And how would you do that? Indy: I would tell him that he would die, that his mother would be overcome with a grief so intense that his father would be unable to console her, and that it would end their marriage. The sheer PAIN Ford conveys during that monologue.. may be the finest acting he's ever done. You can just FEEL Indy's loss; his son is gone, his marriage is torn, and he blames himself for both. It gives a horrible pathos to why he's so broken down. Both developments.. coudl've been really cheap. With how much everyone but me seems to hate mutt, and how rightly no one can stand shia suprise these days, most were expecting..

Instead Mutt's death is used as the catalyst for Indy's slow spiral into dispair. He would've been happy in retirment.. but he lost his son, his wife.. he's a man truly with nothing left he feels. And while he gets some old spark back unlike Scrooge.. he's fighting it every step. He dosen't want an adventure, he dose'nt want anything but his son back, and he knows damn well that even if the dial could... the sad truth is it likely has some horrible cost to it. The grail gave eternal life but bound you to a spot. The Skull gave you the knowledge of an unknowable alien god, but drove you mad. The arc killed anyone who looked. If the Dial even works... he knows it can't bring his son back, and he's only going after it because it's better in a museum than in the hands of Nazis. We also see a change in Helena. She goes from following Indy's lead out of nececity, to seeing his point, to seeing the beauty of the world instead of just the dollar signs. She still wants the money.. but she starts to see the beauty in history instead of the dollar. I also like that this isn't easy on Teddy, who sees her postive changes as coming between him and his surrogate mom, when really she fully intends to stick with Teddy no matter what and shows nothing but loyalty.. and in the end.. they dont' really finish that arc

I like Teddy a lot, and I wish this had more of a bow on it, though we do get him taking down a nazi and trapping him to drown and later getting into a dogfight. Teddy slaps is what i'ms aying> He dosen't have a ton of deep character to explore, but he's fucking great.

This all really cumulates in the climax.. which is so great i'd rather save it for after we cover one last major character, our antagonist. Our big bad is Mads Mikkelsen as Jurgen Voller, a thereoticain who wants the dial. At first Indy assumes, as most of the audience would that Voller simply wants the dial, which he's shown to obess over to win the war for hitler. Turns out Voller's plan is more complex. We see in the intro how Voller is the ONLY one who both sees the dial's value among the nazi's and the writing on the wall: Hitler is almost gone, he fucked them over. It's over. And thus the horror of Voller isn't like with Thot , at the giant horrifying nazi machine and all their power, and more at evil allowed to hide in plain sight. At a society who forgives horrible people because their useful. Voller got a free pass thanks to operation paperclip.. and the film shows while that idea got us tons of advances including space flight.. it came at the cost of giving horrible people real power and influence. The president is outright giving voller a MEDAL. And he hasn't changed: a truly chilling bit has him talking to a black bellhop delivering meal and asking where he came from.. and dismissing him saying he came from america. Voller is every bit the white supremacist monster he ever was, he's completely loyal to the idea of the nazi's. .just not to hitler. Voller's whole plan isn't to help hitler.. but to take him out, replace him and have someone compitent win. And he only gets as fara s he does because the goverment willingly works with him, gives him agents, goes after Helena and the dial. They know what he his but fully aid and abet him. Sure they eventually realize he's gone rogue, that his pet agent is entirely in his pocket.. but they don't turn on him till far too late and with one of their great agents dead. Concidentaly I feel Agent Mason is wasted: she's the calm rational agent.. but she's also the only major black character in the film and gets killed by a nazi. That's.. entirely fucked up and while I suspect inteitonally fucked up it just dosen't work for me.

Voller is also once again, much like with Belloc, an evil mirror of indy: Both are geniuses who adore history.. but one's a good person despite being gruff while one seems harmless when we first meat him but is actually a total monster. Mads does a great job showing just how evil the guy is without going over the top. Voller is determind to change history... and he does.. just not how he wanted to.

This Ain't 1933!

The climax.. is fucking awesome. Like Crystal Skull it goes beyond what the series had done before, if not more so. It's arguably even MORE over the top. But it works. For those who haven't seen the film... INDY GOES BACK IN TIME. The dial DOES indeed work.... but it's set up to ONLY go back to this point. Helena points out the idea of "loaded decks' earlier.. and realizes the dial is one. Archimedes only left it behind to create a stable time loop.

Indy going back into actual history is nuts, entirely and my jaw dropped at it.. but it's so damn fun. Our heroes not only have to escape the plain and get the dial back after it drops onto the coast, but survive the Siege of Syracuse, the roman invasion that eventaully resulted in Archimedes end. So we have two planes flying overhead, arrows everywhere and nazis versus romans. It's over the top but not in a way that really undermines the franchise, and frankly as what's intended to be the final act of indy ever, it's a fitting finale: the man whose explored history in the present.. gets to LITERALLY go to the past for his final adventure. I do get how not everyone will agree, and it won't work for everybody, this may be a bit tooo over the top, but I love it and feel it nicely ties up everyone's character arcs.

For Voller he gets to join history.. but instead of "fixing" it like he wanted he dies horribly and is forgotten to history only the "dragon" (his palne" is left.. and cleverly foreshadowed earlier when Teddy watches a puppet show. His nazi's all die and it's glorious to watch nazi after nazi go down from arrows or our two heroes escaping the plane while teddy takes the rest down with the help of a hapless pilot.

We then get the payoff for both Helena and Indy, as Indy gives the dial to archimedes.. and plans to stay. After all we established he's lost everything... why would he go back? He'll die soon.. but he's cconvinced he'll die soon back in the present. It's Helena who'se ultimately changed realizing both the value of history.. and ultimately the movie's moral: you can't change the past, but you can live for today. Helena can't change her awful upbringing or the things she's done.. but she can be better. And Indy can't save his son from death, save archimedes from death or be a better husband to marion during the greving process.. but he can be better to her and still live now. He still has so much to offer. He taught helena to love history and to try and be better. He gave his son a better life even if it was sadly cut short. He can be better. And when he can't be convinced the easy way she proves she's fully earned her way to being indy's succesor and just clubs him and takes him back (the dial has to go back with them as archimedes needs to make his own). The end scene also mostly works for me: Indy is back at his apartment.. but finds he's not alone as when he woke up there last time: Not only has Helena forgiven him, having realized much like Indy himself that warts and all, he's family, but Sallah, who I haven't gotten to talk about is here. Sallah is great in this film, not only helping Indy when he needs to lay low but enocuraging his friend it's not over. It's also nice to see Indy helped him and his family immigrate and that he's teaching his grand kids egyptian. It's also a nice way to still have davies play the roll.. but have him get a bit more depth and make up for a white guy playing the roll.

And last but not least.. Marion returns, and the two reconcile. I thought it was a bit easy when I frist saw it.. but I see now i'ts more the idea they have a long road ahead.. but both are willing to see it together.. Indy admits he was wrong and Marion is willing to give him another shot. For the third time but at least this time it's likely she just needed some psace to realize he wasn't being callous he just wasn't processing his grief.. and now he's ready to.. maybe they have a shot. It's a nice way to close out the films: Indy's life isn't over, he's got friends, he's got his wife.. and there's always another rainbow.

Assorted Other Stuff: The action set pieces as usual are fucking great, my faviorites easily being the climax and the diving adventure. The latter reminded me a lot of Tin Tin, Red Rackam's Treasure. Antonio Banderas is great as Reynaldo and I only wihs he had a bigger part.. and survived. It's not a huge suprise, saying Antonio Banderas is great. While I LIKED the finale with Marion, I'm with Karen Allen. They could've used her more. She deserves better dammit. WHy is it with the sequels they just can NEVER get bringing her back right?

Last but not least.. ther'es this weird subplot only brought up in the first two acts where the government frames indy for Murder that just.. never gets resolved? Like they never adressed it and as far as I can tell there's no resolution. Now granted I still think Indy isn't going to be arrested: He's clearly been unconcious for a week and Helena did have to get him back into the US, so it's likely the goverment found out about voller, got a debrief from helena.. and agreed to clear her and indy's record and absolve him of murder in exchange for never talking about this to anyone, as a Nazi escaping and killing one of their agents , after they pardoned the guy wouldn't look good. But we needed a line. It's easily the most baffling decision in otherwise a really godo film.

So finally we're , like indy back where we started.. was the film that bad?

When writing the reviews for Crystal Skull and Temple, I honestly hated the films MORE the more I thought abotu them, the more I found wrong, the more I realized how little they did. With this film. it's the opposite. The more I examine dial, the more I find to like. The character arcs, the action, the payoff. It's not perfect, again Indy is still kinda wanted for murder among other little plot gaffes, but I do think Dial is a solid entry in the series and better than both temple and skull at capturing what made the series graet. It dosen't nail it perfectly.. but it's still a fun ride with some really good character work and phenominal performances. Really indy failed.. because no one cares outside of fans of the franchise. As my brother put it when talking about this very film recently, kids don't know indy. It's not the big hit with kids star wars was and is. Star Wars will likekly rebound someday because Kids still dig it and kids will grow up with the sequels the way I grew up with the prequels, warts and all. Disney just assumed Indy was enough to carry it and he wasn't. I'm sad at it because not only is this a good film, but I was hoping for more pulp adventure films. But i'm also happy at what we got and to have done this journey. I saw the good, and the bad. And I saw a franchise I ended up really loving. In the end I got what I needed out of this franchise

[estrellami-1]

@every-aj-needs-an-angel made “favorite lines from each chapter” posts and I’ve decided to do the same. Let me know if you don’t want to be tagged, lovely! ❤️

Chapter 1

“Ooh, and they’re saying you got your asshole bleached.”

“That one is true,” Alex says through a mouthful of chocolate with sprinkles.

“Thought so,” June says without looking up.

Just. Their sibling relationship is SO perfect. I’m in love.

Given the choice, he’d rather read one of the hundreds of glowing pieces of fan fiction about him on the internet, the up-to-eleven version of himself with devastating charm and unbelievable physical stamina, but June flat out refuses to read those aloud to him, no matter how much he tries to bribe her.

Once again, PEAK sibling behavior. I’m obsessed.

They were seventeen and eighteen and doomed from the start, both convinced they were the smartest person in any room. Alex has since conceded Nora is 100 percent smarter than him and definitely too smart to have ever dated him.

I need a Nora ASAP please. She’s fantastic. The second line has lived in my brain rent-free since I first read it.

“‘Arch nemesis’ implies he’s actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck- up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself.”

“Woof.”

“I’m just saying.”

Oh, Alex. You have no idea.

“Ew, you have Garden State on your watch list? Wow, how’s film school in 2005 going?”

“I hate you.”

“Hmm, I know.”

Actual footage of me and my youngest brother istg

Amy, his mother’s favorite Secret Service agent, a former Navy SEAL who is rumored around DC to have killed several men, sits across the aisle. She’s got a bulletproof titanium case of crafting supplies open on the couch next to her and is serenely embroidering flowers onto a napkin. Alex has seen her stab someone in the kneecap with a very similar embroidery needle.

I’m in love with all of this. Amy is who I aspire to be.

“Risk assessment: FSOTUS failing to check himself before he wrecks himself will result in greater than five hundred civilian casualties. Ninety-eight percent probability of Prince Henry looking like a total dreamboat. Seventy- eight percent probability of Alex getting himself banned from the United Kingdom forever.”

“Those are better odds than I expected,” June observes.

Alex laughs, and the plane soars on.

Once again where do I get a Nora. I love her.

“Do either of y’all know what a viscount is?” June is saying, halfway through a cucumber sandwich. “I’ve met like, five of them, and I keep smiling politely as if I know what it means when they say it. Alex, you took comparative international governmental relational things. Whatever. What are they?”

“I think it’s that thing when a vampire creates an army of crazed sex waifs and starts his own ruling body,” he says.

“That sounds right,” Nora says…

“I wish I were a viscount,” June says. “I could have my sex waifs deal with my emails.”

“Are sex waifs good with professional correspondence?” Alex asks.

Nora’s napkin has begun to resemble a bird. “I think it could be an interesting approach. Their emails would be all tragic and wanton.” She tries on a breathless, husky voice. “‘Oh, please, I beg you, take me—take me to lunch to discuss fabric samples, you beast!’”

“Could be weirdly effective,” Alex notes.

“Something is wrong with both of you,” June says gently.

I’m somehow all three of them. I love this exchange SO much.

His face is still infuriatingly symmetrical.

Alex. Buddy. You oblivious fuck.

“Aw, little buddy,” Nora says. She reaches over and pats his hand. “It’s cute how you think everything is about you.”

“It should be, honestly.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Once again I’m in love with Nora.

For a second, all he can think as he stares up at the ceiling while covered in frosting and champagne is that at least Henry’s dance with June won’t be the biggest story to come out of the royal wedding.

His next thought is that his mother is going to murder him in cold blood.

Alex worrying about the important things first.

[persimminwrites]

let's talk about luthen on that bridge.

i have been thinking about (obsessing about) that scene since i first watched it. it was so impactful, so gut-wrenching, and it has stayed with me, almost haunting me.

luthen is hands down one of the most compelling, complex characters in star wars. every moment he's on screen i spend enthralled and waiting for what he will do or say next, so i wanted to break down that elevator scene with lonni a little bit to better understand why it impacted me so much.

one of the first things i noticed was there was no background score during this scene. the previous scene ends with resounding, triumphant music - then we cut to coruscant. there is some background music at the very beginning of the scene, but its's distant and soft, and as soon as lonni gets in the elevator and closes the doors, the only thing we hear is the sound design of coruscant. the stuttering rumble and jerking motion of the elevator. the electric flicker of the lights. the sound of lonni pressing the elevator buttons. lonni's breathing.

this break in music score, or the absence of it, marks this scene as starkly different from the previous scene. and even if we as viewers aren't consciously aware of the lack of background music, we still notice it unconsciously and all of this builds along with the visuals of the scene - the dim lighting, the close shots making us feel stuck in that small space with lonni - to a frightening tension when we hear luthen's voice.

one of the first things luthen mentions is lonni's daughter. he may say it in a casual manner, but it is anything but casual. its a threat. a reminder that even though they haven't spoken directly in a year, luthen knows. he knows everything about lonni. he knows his life. he knows his weaknesses.

this is also mirrored beautifully in the scene because lonni (and us as the viewer) can't see luthen. we don't know where he is. we don't know the final destination of the elevator, only a floor number. but luthen knows exactly where lonni is.

"it's not fair. you knowing. watching me. do you ever think how it might feel from my side?"

we know how it feels. the filmmakers show us by using the elevator trip as a proxy. lonni is trapped in a small space. we see close camera shots giving us the feeling of the small space. lonni is talking to luthen via the earpiece, but he can't see where he is. we never cut to luthen during this scene until the doors open, so we never see him either. lonni is visibly nervous. there is no film score to cover lonni's stuttering breath as he speaks. we are trapped in that space with lonni until finally the door opens and we see luthen for the first time.

he cuts an intimidating figure. cast in shadow. alone. covered in black billowing clothing. where have we seen that before?

now, i'm not saying that the filmmakers are trying to say that luthen is as evil as the sith or darth vader. however, we have an established connection in this universe to dark billowing clothing and evil. and i think the filmmakers intentionally clothed this character in that clothing to give a similar impact. luthen is unsettling. there is a sense of foreboding that surrounds him. and to me, this is a visual indicator (that luthen later verifies verbally) that luthen believes he is condemned - beyond saving.

"a double life? every day a performance? the stress of that? we need heros, lonni, and here you are."

when i first heard this line, i thought luthen might say 'we need heros like us' or something along those lines. but he very firmly separates himself and lonni. he draws a line and does not include himself when he speaks of heroes.

"i am condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them."

he does not align himself with his enemy. he does not say they are the same. but he has debased himself, lowered himself in the pursuit of justice against a terrible evil - forced to make terrible sacrifices and decisions for the goal of a better tomorrow.

"i've made my mind a sunless place."

"i share my dreams with ghosts."

"i'm damned for what I do."

each of these lines serves to show us that luthen believes he is beyond saving. i especially love the line 'i share my dreams with ghosts' for a number of reasons. it alludes to those who have died for the rebellion - luthen dreams for them because they are no longer able to dream themselves. it makes me think that luthen believes himself a ghost. and that he believes the people surrounding him, working with him in his spy network, are also ghosts - dead people walking. ive talked before about grief in andor and how i believe that many alliance spies are constantly grieving, even the people around them who are alive. but i believe this line from luthen takes it even further. i think instead of speaking to grief, it speaks to a grim acceptance of his reality and that as long as the empire rules, everyone is dead. only freedom can give them life.

when the conversation ends, luthen closes the elevator doors with the click of a button, and the doors close like a coffin (see this post) around lonni, burying him with his vow that he took long ago - a decisive hand motion that ends someone else's life. again, i think the filmmakers are making another parallel to the sith, who we often see aligned with or governing opressive empires, without actually condemning luthen and saying he is the same. it is a comparison that is meant to unsettle us and make us wary of him. he is ruthless and uncompromising.

but he is fighting for a sunrise he will never see. he is burning his decency in the hope that someday the heroes will triumph. he has sacrificed everything so that someday the people of this galaxy will have something.

as the scene ends, we cut to the next scene, and the score fills the background, again undercutting the stark lack of score in the previous scene.

this scene so beautifully illustrates an incredibly complex character. luthen is fighting on the side of the rebels, and in so much star wars media, the rebellion is shown as a bastion for good and for righteousness, fighting against oppressive evil. it is black and white. but luthen is not good. he is brutal and he is ruthless and as he states himself he has no decency. he is not a hero. this scene puts us in lonni's shoes. we feel how incredibly unsettling working under luthen is. we understand how dangerous he is and even though he fights for the rebellion - we cant help but feel a little afraid.

[ayyyez]

Love how the majority of your haikyuu masterlist is going to be filled w/ asks by me <3 Teamwork

ANYWAY, how about hcs of haikyuu characters favorite Ghibli films?? Again, pick any characters that come to your mind, though I'll toss in Ennoshita as he's a film enthusiast and Yachi sense she hasn't been requested yet!

A/N: pfft! Yeah, it's you, me and our Haikyuu headcanons against the world bestie <3 BUT yeah of course I'll do these. Actually I have this urge to watch Porco Rosso again now. I did watch my fav recently too.

TAGS: general headcanons, fav movies, studio ghibli films, fluff, Director Ennoshita vibes, Sweet Yachi, Snuggled up Ghibli date with Kenma, Hinata siblings bonding, Kuroo is a dork

CHARACTERS: Ennoshita Chikara, Yachi Hitoka, Kenma Kozume, Hinata Shouyou, Kuroo Tetsurou with honourable mentions at the end

ENNOSHITA CHIKARA:

While Ennoshita can sit down and enjoy films I feel like he enjoys watching them more for the analytical film side of things. He likes to break them down and analyse the technical and thematical aspects as well as thinking about how he feels watching them.

The film buff in him holds Grave of the Fireflies (1988) so highly that even though it ripped his heart out he holds it as one of his favourite must watch in your life time films. He definitely cried his eyes out too. Not ashamed to admit it either. Can talk for hours about the powerful themes and will convince you to watch it if you haven't.

I think his all time favourite Ghibli movie though would be Princess Mononoke (1997). It just has that rewatchability, the visuals, the action, the complexity of the characters and the 'you're beautiful' line. It just captures everything he loves in films. Ennoshita the simp identifying with the simp characters. Hell yeah.

I think he'd watch all of the Ghibli films at least once and enjoy most of them enough to rewatch.

YACHI HITOKA:

I don't think she watches many movies. Ghibli movies I feel are the few that Yachi did come across though. I think a friend in her elementary school years introduced them to her. The first one she ever saw was Spirited Away (2001) and its held a special place in her heart ever since. It's probably her favourite one to rewatch.

She would have this fantasy as a kid too that every time she walked down an alleyway or through an arch she'd be whisked off away to another world. Yachi knew it was silly but it was her only escape from her studies.

Another one she really likes is Kiki's Delivery Service (1989). She really admires Kiki's confidence of being able to go out into world so young and make it on her own. It's the kind of confidence she wished she had for herself. As she gets older and grows confident she looks back on this movie with warmth, seeing herself become more confident like Kiki.

I like to think Ghibli movies for Yachi are comfort movies that she returns to in adulthood that remind her how much she's grown.

KENMA KOZUME:

I've said before he's into anime and manga, I think he'd be into Ghibli films too. I feel he'd chuck them on as way to wind down from gaming. Snug in bed and content just putting on a nice Ghibli film. Perfect. His perfect date night too honestly. There's actually a few I feel he'd like so I've given him a top 3 in no particular order.

Howl's Moving Castle (2004)—it's a staple and one of his most rewatched. He finds it easy to watch, likes the music, the banter of the romance couple and yeah maybe Howl's kinda hot sometimes even when he's pathetic. Kind of wants Howl merch. Buys the earrings.

When Marnie Was There (2014)—Shed a tear or two the first time because wow he wasn't expecting such a touching story. Was there for all the feels. Watched it again a few days later because it was stuck on his mind. It became one of his favs he puts on those occassions he wants to feel something.

Whisper of the Heart (1995)—Maybe because it's also my fav and the main love interest reminds me of a my fav dork that gets paired with Kenma and I feel like thats cute. But also I just feel like he'd vibe with this cute movie a lot! His fav character is the cat Muta.

HINATA SHOUYOU:

Loves to watch these movies with his sister Natsu. They watch anime together in general but Ghibli movies are just those extra fun ones they put on. They have a range but his favourite one is probably My Neighbour Totoro (1988).

Totoro is one of the first films Hinata remembers watching in general so it's mostly the nostalgia that makes it his favourite. He's an emotional film enjoyer. It's not about the themes or the analysis. He just wants to have fun and enjoy himself. Also the memories of watching it with his sister is what makes it special.

You know as well that if he's sharing this film with you then it's a big deal. It means a lot to him. It's a treasured part of his childhood. It's probably something he takes with him to brazil aswell like a little piece of home along with his one piece manga.

Bought his sister a little Totoro keychain in his third year when he was in Tokyo. Gave it to her before he left for brazil. It was like a little goodbye to their childhood together.

KUROO TETSUROU:

He's another one I feel has a couple of favourites. Ones he has come to love and find comfort films in.

The first one is just one he likes for the themes, the main character and the laughs. Porco Rosso (1992)—Obviously loves the whole seaplane pirates action of it all and heroic main character. I feel like he'd identify with the main character not being good at admiting romantic feelings (Kuroo's a fumbler). Also appreciates the character growth throughout the film. Also the whole 'I'd rather be a pig than facist.' 10/10.

Only Yesterday (1991)—This one I see him watching on a whim when he was younger. His parents were arguing again, his life was a little unstable and uncertain (this was before he moved nextdoor to Kenma) and he needed to drown the noise out. He found this movie put it on and really connected with it. He really felt lost like the main character and felt hope watching it—seeing there was a hopeful ending.

I think as he gets older and expands his viewing I think Kuroo would also vibe with Whisper of the Heart (1995). He'd vibe with the main love interest. He's on the same level, trying to be cool to win over the person he has a crush on but really he's been pining all this time. Also working hard to pursue his dreams? Kuroo all over. He's also just a sucker for a love.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

My Neighbor Totoro (1988)/Kiki's Delivery Service (1989): Kiyoko Shimizu, Yaku Morisuke, Yamaguchi Tadashi

Porco Rosso (1992)/Princess Mononoke (1997): Bokuto Koutarou, Iwaizumi Haijime, Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Saeko Tanaka, Osamu Miya, Atsumu Miya, Suna Rintarou

Only Yesterday(1991)/Whisper of the Heart (1995): Oikawa Tooru, Akaashi Keiji, Kenji Futakuchi

Spirited Away (2001)/Howl's Moving Castle (2004): Kunimi Akira, Semi Eita, Kageyama Tobio, Kiyoomi Sakusa

Ponyo (2008)/The Secret World of Arrietty (2010)/When Marnie Was There (2014): Tendou Satori (he likes them all but it's the visuals and emotions), Aone Takanobu, Koganegawa Kanji, Kentarou Kyoutani

[nitrateglow]

Halloween 2023 marathon: 22-23

Wait Until Dark (dir. Terence Young, 1967)

Blinded a year ago in an accident, housewife Susy Hendrix (Audrey Hepburn) is still adjusting to her new reality and struggling with trauma from the event. When her photographer husband has to leave for an evening assignment, at worst she expects an annoying few hours getting her bratty kid neighbor Gloria (Julie Herrod) to actually go the damn grocery for her and not play pranks. Instead she's targeted by a trio of criminals who believe a shipment of heroin ended up in her husband's possession. Led by the psychopathic Mr. Roat (Alan Arkin), the criminals are only supposed to trick and terrorize Susy psychologically without resorting to physical violence. When Susy proves sharper than they expected, it does not stay that way for long.

After watching a terrible 1967 home invasion thriller based on a stage play, I needed to watch a good variation of the same and what better choice than Wait Until Dark, a movie I consider one of the greatest thrillers ever made.

If you've been on my blog for years, you'll know I'm obsessed with I love this movie. Only a handful of movies ever actually scared me on first watch and this is one of them. It's perfectly paced and exquisitely crafted, with a strong eerie atmosphere and great acting from everyone involved, especially Hepburn and Arkin. It's one of those movies where I usually notice new little details in the background every time I see it.

This is the first time I've rewatched this movie since Alan Arkin died, so it was a little bittersweet. Aside from Samantha Jones (who plays Roat's ill-fated accomplice Lisa), the entire adult cast of this movie is no longer with us. An era is slowly vanishing.

I've always seen Wait Until Dark as a transitional movie between Classic Hollywood and the New Hollywood of the late 60s and 70s. A lot of the behind the scenes crew were old-timers with careers going back to the 1930s, and of course Audrey Hepburn was one of the greatest Classic Hollywood stars, but you have more contemporary influences creeping in, mainly with the bad guys being "criminal hipsters" (to steal a line from critic Tim Brayton) and the lack of Hollywood glamor in the costuming and setting. This isn't the fairytale New York City of Sabrina and Breakfast at Tiffany's, but a far more dangerous one.

The other thing I want to mention is just how amazing Hepburn is in this movie and how her performance bowls me over every time. It's a generally acclaimed performance, but I feel like people don't always discuss the psychological nuances of it. While The Nun's Story is Hepburn's best hour as an actress, her work in Wait Until Dark will always be my favorite because her character seems so relatable in her vulnerability. Susy isn't just adjusting to a recent impairment-- she also suffers from PTSD (fire and smoke are literal triggers for her) and deep insecurity regarding her self-image and relationships.

There's one line which stuck out to me this time. At the end of their first conversation, Mike tells Susy, "You're very lovely. Sam's lucky." Susy frowns as though she doesn't believe it and says quietly, "So's Susy." This woman's self-confidence is so low that she can't even take a compliment. She fears that on her own without Sam, she can't possibly be competent or strong. It's also why she latches onto Mike (Richard Crenna) so much: he's a surrogate for her absent husband and he's superficially helpful in a way Sam isn't.

All this adds to the stakes: even if the men don't get violent, their charade will have a psychological toll on Susy, who is so terrified that no one could possibly love her as she is, and that she's really helpless. When she realizes Mike isn't going to be her savior-- and in fact, might kill her-- she realizes she can only rely on herself to get out of this bad situation and she's more than up to the task.

That emotional arc is a major part of why this film resonates with me so much, even more than the suspense or horror elements.

The Invisible Man (dir. James Whale, 1933)

When Dr. Jack Griffin (Claude Rains) finds a way to turn himself invisible, he initially has mixed feelings. On one hand, he doesn't know how to turn himself back. On the other, you can run around naked and no one will ever know. Oh and you can commit murders easily and possibly rule the world. Unable to find a reversal, Griffin embraces the power invisibility gives him and starts a reign of terror on the local population. Will he be caught? Can he be brought back to sanity? And will the screechy innkeeper played by Una O'Connor ever shut the hell up?

With each of his subsequent horror films, James Whale injected more and more camp humor into the proceedings. Some people dislike this, but I don't, especially in the case of The Invisible Man. I always forget how much I enjoy this movie-- I check it out from the library every year to watch around spooky season, but I need to buckle down and just buy the bluray already. This is peak 1930s horror.

This movie is such a delight with its great special effects and fast-moving story, but Claude Rains as the title character is definitely the shining star of the whole thing. He's brilliant. He's hilarious. He's menacing. Dracula is sinister and remote, the Monster is tragic and vulnerable, but Dr. Griffin is just so damned gleeful once he embraces being invisible and all the power that comes with it. While the film's logic for his behavior is that the solution he uses to turn invisible also makes one insane, Griffin's backstory as a lower-class, impoverished young man hoping to make a name for himself and a rich life for the woman he loves strongly suggests this power madness was latent inside him. It's his shadow, to use Jungian terminology.

On this rewatch, I was most struck by the film's similarities to Whale's Frankenstein. Tonally, they're unalike of course: Frankenstein has moments of humor but is generally serious, while black comedy is dominant throughout The Invisible Man. Griffin himself comes off like a prankster, getting childlike joy out of bamboozling and freaking out passerby. He makes great pre-kill quips (he asks one of his victims if they have insurance before murdering them in a car wreck). The townspeople are hilarious too. I LOVE the deadpan delivery of this line from the constable after he realizes Griffin's condition: "He's invisible. That's what's the matter with him."

But back to Frankenstein. Structurally, the two films are similar, much like Dracula and The Mummy are. We have a mad scientist who tampers with nature, creates a "monster" (in Griffin's case, he unleashes a monster within himself), that "monster" terrorizes the locals, the locals form a search party, there's a love interest who represents the ordinary and unambitious world that the scientist ignores, and the film ends with the "monster"'s destruction.

(At least Griffin wasn't stuck with the unprofessional, bastardly Fritz as an assistant. Imagine how THAT would have turned out! Actually, now I want a crossover between Griffin and Henry Frankenstein. That would be a mad scientist team up made in hell.)

Overall, this is a fantastic film: well-paced, funny, creepy, beautifully shot in black-and-white, and psychologically richer than it would appear on the surface. It's a good example of why the 1930s are my favorite period for horror.

[tsintotwo]

(Part 4/4)

(Earlier: Parts 1, 2, and 3)

Okay, finally getting to the 4th and last post talking about Tom Sturridge in his projects. There's not too much left to say as these are mostly cameos.

Vanity Fair (2004)- This was the first movie Tom was in as a grownup (edit: nope, this was the 2nd)- in period clothing (and looking like a million bucks, as you would suspect). Screentime: 2min. You can tell he's still finding his footing in all this. But he's got the it factor already.

Journey's End (2017)- Movie about Brit soldiers stuck in trenches waiting for death during WW2. Sam Claffin and Paul Bettany are in this and I recognized neither before seeing credits 🤦‍♀️ Anyway, Tom plays a bad soldier: drinks and girls are his forte, fighting- not so much. His character is in this movie to basically show the bone-chilling, hope-crushing, cruelly pointless side of wars. He uses his 3/4 scenes to drive that point home like a master. There's one super emotionally charged scene with Sam that sears into the mind- they both absolutely chew it up.

Song to Song (2017)- Tom being in this movie is just the most RANDOM thing in the world, guys. Song to Song is about the music industry and rockstar life, and Tom shows up for like 2mins to play Ryan Gosling's hometown farmland brother of all things??? Wut. 2 lines of dialogue. Cute hair, tho. Cute everything.

Hello Apartment (2018)- Slice-of-life short film about how we all leave our mark in the spaces we move through. Dakota Fanning made this and asked Tom to be in it- they've been friends since doing Effie Gray. Tom is MC's stormy bf- a bit of kissing, a bit of pouting, a bit of shouting. Worth it. (Aside: some STUNNING shots in this, kudos to Dakota). This is on youtube.

That's it, actually. Only movie of Tom's I haven't gotten to is Junkhearts (2011). It's on Amazon Prime for $4 which is worth it, but it seems like an intense movie and I'll take a break before trying to watch this one.

A significant part of Tom's career has been theater work. From what I've gathered, seems like he's done some phenomenal work there- both in UK and US. Got cool awards and noms. Of course, if your play isn't Hamilton, it doesn't get to be on any screen, so there's no way to see any of those now. The one I'm most gutted about is 1984 (2017) on Broadway. I love the og classic by George Orwell, and by all accounts this adaptation/interpretation was banging (AND controversial!). Tom playing a role like Winston Smith... I'd have loved it so fuckin much * screaming-into-pillow break*

How does Tom choose his projects?

"The first thing I’m drawn to is a piece of writing, to an author, to a director. Weirdly, it’s rarely a character. I want to work with people or with texts that push me and make me learn things that I think I can’t do. Because if I think I can do it, then I can’t surprise myself. And if I can’t surprise myself, then I’m definitely not going to surprise an audience." -Tom for Interview magazine, 2022

Why does he often do troubles characters?

"... I think what I’m attracted to is being able to explore a spectrum of emotion. It’s easier to find comedy in something sad than it is to find darkness in something funny. I can be all kinds of people when the darkness is there. Also, the first character I ever played onstage was a boy who murders all of his schoolmates [in Punk Rock]. I do think there’s something to be said by, “You get stuck in a gorge that you start with.” People have always gone, “Oh, yeah. He’s the fucked-up guy.” - same

Here's something about me: I love falling in love with men on silver screen. It's the only space where it's okay to be in love with a version of someone you made in your head because you're not going to know any other version. The only space you get to channel your feelings six ways to Sunday: write posts, write stories, draw, make any art- people will actually celebrate those (whereas try talking to your friend about a new irl crush for five days straight, on the sixth they'll smack you upside your head). The feelings are intense because these men are deliberately performing for you, the emotions forever unsullied because they're not gonna come hurt you (unless they're being cancelled lol). And they're all the finest specimens! So, yeah, I love it, and it happens periodically. What's rarer, tho, is that I get attracted to an actor's whole personality. I mean, like, all of these hot men are hella charming, and you can yassify almost anyone based on interview moments. But, idk, it doesn't always click with me, and I love a character, ship a couple, then move on. Tom, tho, is going to be one of those 2/3 permanent ones. I just find him interesting which to me, is the thing. (And also, he turned out to be one of those rare people in life who lets you know things about yourself that you didn't know before. Huh. Who knew?) And yeah, okay, he's very hot and insanely talented which started this whole intense phase but while this won't last, a genuine fondness and love will. He has a place in my heart forever. It's been such a good time discovering him that I'm legit grateful to the universe.

I'll do a bonus post with links to Tom interviews/vids/ stuff that are worth checking out. Until then, guys.

[sunfish999]

The nitty gritty is watering down katara's character so she's just a meek girl ? Your lying If you really think that's the same character. The producers said they would take an axe to the main characters and that's where the show really suffers...also nothing is perfect people like you is why we get stuck with mediocrity

?? I finished episode 5 but what😭 how is katara just a meek girl, i feel like yes she has a little less rage but other than that she shows that shes smart and powerful and her own person? Explain what is watered down i feel like animation usually over-exaggerates facial expressions and voices for the most part, so i’m not surprised that katara has more subtle strength so far, and also the actress has a very kind face, but i think shes still able to show some of that anger. (I havent watched the water master fight yet so maybe thats where you’re talking about, so i cant speak on that)

Idk what taking an axe to the main characters means (like really cutting them apart? Cuz i doubt they would promote a show by saying its gonna be bad but who knows). But i feel like the characters are all pretty accurate with how they carry themselves, of course they’re younger so acting wont be perfect but i think the imperfections are what brings them to life. I know a lot of people hate the writing, i feel like it’s quite similar to the show? (Though its been maybe 3-4 years since i last rewatched it) and some lines especially from something previously animated are gonna sound awkward in real life, which is why generally i believe live actions arent necessary for any animation, though in this case i’m really enjoying just rewatching atla and my childhood be brought to life.

Nothing is perfect: ok i was using perfect mostly because i was very excited about it, of course i know theres things that could be changed to improve it but a lot of those things are impossible (like you cant get an actress thats EXACTLY katara and will make everyone happy, because shes a drawing) but overall, i think the landscapes come close to perfect (i’m just really into fantasy scenes and i think it’s so beautiful and impressive to see things like the omashu supply rail and the air temple come to life. And zuko’s boat looks so awesome and so accurate too.) And i thought the cgi looked slightly silly at first (especially air) but then i realized that we were always seeing drawings of aangs air in the animation which would look even stupider irl so i made my peace pretty quickly.

People like me is why we get stuck with mediocrity… hm. I feel like my opinion probably has nothing to do with what comes out on tv, especially because in this society haters have the real power, and you guys tearing it down are more likely to get it cancelled. I don’t think any production team takes an animated film or show and thinks ‘yea im gonna make this absolutely awful,’ (though i’m really not sure what they were thinking when making the pjo movie, its good as a standalone but they went so off course from the plot…) of course they’re all just trying to fit what they think into the show and express their own opinions, which are ultimately going to be a lot different than some people watching it.

Overall, ok i haven’t watched the og in years, so my memory on comparing each episode of the show to the live action is not going to be at the level of others (which i think boosts the enjoyability 100x over). But as i watch it, i remember tons of parts of the animation, and it makes me super happy that it has the same air as the show, albeit slightly more serious because they can’t fit all the funny filler episodes (if they ever created a live action lost appa episode i would lose it that cannot happen).

Maybe i sounded rude in my original post (i changed it quickly bc it was very angry at first lol) so sorry i know you’re all entitled to your opinion, it’s just i was SO EXCITED and then checked the tag on tumblr only to see that everyone hated it… i always feel inferior to people who really like films etc because i tend to enjoy things that other people hate, (like i really enjoyed the avatar way of water movie even if it was super long, and i know people DESPISED it). So maybe i seem like someone who is satisfied with mediocrity, and maybe i am, i focus mostly on the backgrounds and beauty of movies because im really into art and much less on acting and script (though i can appreciate beautiful characters, i was Blown Away by live action suki and hair down sokka my jaw dropped fr) i agree i am fairly simple to please in terms of this type of thing.

SORRY THIS IS GETTING QUITE LONG IM SURE U WONT READ IT ALL but i hope ur finding joy in life since live action atla is obviously not doing it for u

[queen-ofc]

Movie Review - Blue Beetle - First Impressions !! SLIGHT SPOILERS MENTIONED!!

Hello everyone!

Movies are something that I am OBSESSED with! Film is my passion! Ever since I was a little girl, I would critique every movie I've ever seen to my parents, so much so that they'll sit and listen after we finish a movie because they always expect me to say something about it.

I have always wanted to share my passion for film with the world, but I have never the confidence nor will to start, but that's all going to change. I wanted to start off my little series of movie reviews with the one I had just seen in theaters today: Blue Beetle!

Now, Jaime Reyes' Blue Beetle has ALWAYS had a special place in my heart. I grew up watching the series Young Justice, and I continue to watch it today. Ever since I saw Blue Beetle on the screen, he instantly connected with me and has kept his #2 spot on my list of all-time favorite DC characters. (#1 being Dick Grayson Robin/Nightwing.)

This has been a HIGHLY anticipated movie for me! Ever since the trailer first came out, I was anxiously waiting for it to hit theaters, keeping track of every day in between, counting down the very seconds until its release, and as soon as it did, my parents and I jumped on the opportunity to go see it in theaters! To see my boy hit the big screen and finally get recognized by so many people as a hero in the DCU just filled me with overwhelming joy. So, as one could expect, I had incredibly high expectations for this film. And to make a long story short, overall, I wasn't disappointed!

⚠️WARNING! THE FOLLOWING CONTENT FROM THIS POINT ON CONTAINS SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!⚠️

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As I said, overall, this was a very enjoyable movie, but there were a couple things I wanted to point out that could've improved it!

1) Now, this one is mostly a bias of mine, so feel free to ignore this point and move on to #2 if you'd like.

Something that really stuck out to me was the fact that Jaime's father told him something like, "The Universe knows" or "... chose you" (obviously not an exact quote, but you get the idea.) During the movie, I noticed that they were hitting a lot of stereotypes regarding Hispanic/Latino families. Keeping that in mind, I'll go back to Jaime's father. Now, already a lot of people can tell it's obvious that Jaime seems to be visiting him in a heaven of sorts, with the candles around his father symbolizing that. However, there was no mention of God at all during this time, which in my personal opinion, seemed like something that could've been an easy switch; from "universe" to "God" or "the Lord" or something along those lines to show a Catholic or some other Christian denomination belief system.

However, this is just a minor thing, and luckily, it doesn't affect the story at all. Now, I'll get into something a little more unbiased and a little more major to Blue Beetle's story.

2) They should've established a good relationship with the Scarab.

Now, I'm not saying to remove Jaime's relationship with his family to this, but I'm just saying to add it. I loved the fact they included Jaime's family in all the scenes, making them an essential part of the movie, but adding this would dive into the Blue Beetle's story a bit more. Yes, the movie would be a tad longer, but it would be so much better.

Throughout the movie, the growing relationship between Jaime and his scarab is always implied and never actually produced in the scenes. Instead, he seemed thrown into the action and already knew how to use his scarab to his full extent after just a single battle. It's like we were missing a big chunk of the story, and just thrown into the action.

At the beginning, the scarab seemed hellbent to kill any and every threat in its wake, yet at the end, it tells Jaime that he shouldn't kill the enemy. It tells Jaime "We aren't murders." That doesn't seem right to me considering there was no time in between when Jaime taught the Scarab such things. The control Jaime had over the Scarab also seemed just given to him, instead of earned.

What they should've done, is have some sort of "training montage" in the movie. A time when Jaime finally has the Scarab in a calm mood and is talking with it to learn exactly what his abilities are and how to use them all. He should've had to fight a little more with the Scarab, telling it why they don't kill innocent people. Jaime should've had to command control of the Scarab himself, instead of it being handed to him on a silver platter. Only when the Scarab and Jaime are fully in sync would the Scarab acknowledge why it's bad to blatantly murder people regardless of what they have done, making the "We aren't murders" line so much more meaningful after all they had been through.

Another thing that I would fix, is to more obviously establish the fact that only Jaime can hear the Scarab. Only at the very end of the movie does this fact become clear, meaning that people who didn't know the Blue Beetle and his powers probably would've been confused about that fact. I think they should've had a small scene where Jaime is having a conversation with his Scarab, maybe even arguing with it, in front of his family or his girlfriend. The family/girlfriend would obviously be confused, thinking that he was talking to them, when in reality he wasn't.

Maybe he gets into a fight with a family member or his girlfriend while he's trying to argue with his Scarab because the family member or girlfriend thinks that he's insulting them when he's insulting the voice in his head. Make it a little bit of a joke when he's fighting the enemy and gets into another argument with his Scarab, making the enemy think Jaime is talking to them, only making Jaime have to repeat himself that it's not them he's talking to, but the Scarab.

Just small ideas, but all ones I believe would make a big difference.

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That concludes my initial reaction to Blue Beetle! I really hope my writing was comprehensible as I just kinda brain dumped it all on here and my brain is far from organized, haha. However, I do plan on making a more in-depth review of the movie once it hits a streaming platform and I can watch it a second time! After all, you can miss a lot of things the first time!

Being that this is my first time actually posting any of my thoughts on a movie, please give me some grace. As I do want to continue to do these types of things, sharing my thoughts on movies I love, I would appreciate constructive criticism and thoughts on how to more accurately organize my thoughts before I write them! I would also love recommendations of blogs that do any kind of reviews so that I could learn from them too! And please, share your thoughts on this movie!

Thank you for reading! <3

[krawkpaladin]

Winning the Peace - Inspirations and Core Concepts

So, I've already posted about making a game for the first time, and to help organize some of my thoughts I'd figure I'd go through and explain what inspired this game idea narratively and mechanically, and a bit of delving into my ideas for the core systems in the game.

Narrative Inspirations

The idea from this game had always been kicking around in my skull since high school, after one evening when my parents brought home a DVD from the local library. That night, we watched the film Charlie Wilson's War, which is a highly fictionalized account of the book of the same name which talks about Operation Cyclone, or How the USA Managed To Destabilized Afghanistan For Decades To Stick It To the Soviets. While the film is generally uncritical of Operation Cyclone and the people involved in it, it does have a brief moment towards the end where Senator Wilson is shown trying to get funding to help rebuild Afghanistan, and because the Soviets have pulled out, so has any interest in funding. The narration goes "We won the war, but we lost the peace."

For whatever reason, that line stuck with teenage me. It was the first time I had ever heard that phrase as a teenager, and something about it was very compelling to me. After all, a lot of fiction just assumes that after the main conflict is over, things just sort of fix themselves (until the sequel, anyways). The story either ends with the audience safe in the knowledge that things will get better, or goes forwards to some distant denouement where the audience sees that yes, things did in fact work out.

Later, as I got more and more into the RPG space in college, I saw that in most games, the social/speaking component was not very involved. Of course, not everyone is an excellent orator when roleplaying, so it's a bit unfair to ask the bard to ad-lib their inspirational speech when they have a +12 on their sheet, but usually that was a few instances spread out between characters doing things. Not just combat, but feats of strength, adventuring, casting spells, unlocking chests, etc. There weren't very many heroes whose value lie primarily in their words in a lot of the early TTRPGs I encountered, those primarily being of the D&D and Shadowrun and Pathfinder variety.

To that end, I wanted to emulate stories that were more like Twelve Angry Men, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Ikiru, and more recently A Memory Called Empire. The common thread that pulls all of these stories together in my mind is specifically that the protagonists are primarily speakers. None of them get deeply physically involved in the major issues in their stories. They accomplish their deeds through their words, their rhetoric, their ability to convince other people the right thing to do.

So with all that, I ultimately created the first idea of this game that I am calling Winning the Peace. A game where the players take on the roles of political figures in their city after its liberation from the Dark Lord. Where what they say and how they say it is what affects change, not how well they can swing a sword or cast a spell.

Mechanical Inspirations

I didn't really have the mechanical vocabulary to make this sort of game though until I was introduced to what I am going to call the mechanical cornerstones of the game: The Quiet Year and Free From the Yoke. Free From the Yoke has helped me to visualize and understand how to have the player characters and the people they represent (called Communities in the game text) interact, as well as how to construct them, and the Quiet Year forms the basis of how conflict is introduced into the game.

The Quiet Year is a cooperative storytelling game about a community that was forced to leave their homes and rebuild somewhere new. Using a deck of cards as prompts, players imagine their community and draw out important places and structures on a map, changing things as they go along and are prompted by the cards. There is tracking of projects, abundances and surpluses, and contempt within the singular community, but the game only ends when the Ace of Spades is drawn from the deck (and the deck is separated by suit, so you'll get through at least 3/4ths of the deck regardless). Still, this idea of the Oracle Deck, which is also cleverly used to delineate the passing of time, has hugely informed how Events that the players will have to vote on will be generated in the game.

Last year, at about this time, I had the opportunity to play in a game of Free From the Yoke. About one year later, we had finished the planned length of the game and I really enjoyed it. Free From the Yoke is based on Legacy: Life Among the Ruins from the same publisher, but instead of a weird post-apocalyptic future, takes place in a medieval Slavic land where the spirits of the Land are real and the people have just won their independence from the Empire. While the core concept of the separation between characters and houses is present in all of the Legacy games, one thing that really stuck with me in Free From the Yoke was the concept of quick characters, which are kind of minor PCs that can be made up on the spot so that you don't have to either wrangle all of the main PCs together for an adventure or just have a solo affair going on with one character. The primary construction of player characters (Representatives, in game terms) and Communities was primarily inspired by Free From the Yoke, and Representatives especially take more inspiration from quick characters instead of a full-playbook character. Ultimately, I do want more focus to be on the Communities than on the Representatives, as Representatives will come and go. Also, this is going to be a PbtA game, which Legacy games are also based on. So yeah.

The final thing I want to talk about is, well, kind of an anti-inspiration. If you're a fan of RTS games, you'll maybe be familiar with the term C&C-style economy. Named for the Command & Conquer series of games, a C&C economy is one in which the player has 100% control of all aspects of their base-building, construction, research, and pretty much anything else that affects the game. If you've ever played a 4X game like Civilization, you've engaged with a system like this. I want to avoid this in Winning the Peace. The idea that you can perfectly mold your Community does somewhat go against the core story tone I'm hoping to achieve, so while resolving events in certain ways (i.e. what is voted on) does directly affect Community stats, the Community moves are all reactive in nature and are not always positive. I want players to feel like they are controlling their Representative, but their Community is not necessarily something they can control, only act in it's best interests when possible. I'll get into this more when I discuss Community Moves in a later dev diary.

Thanks for reading everyone! If you are interested in keeping up with these, I will be tagging them as "Winning the Peace ttrpg dev diary" for easy searching. I'll try and get these out once a week until I submit for the game jam towards the end of the month.

Now that you've made it this far, here's a reward: my two cats, Baby (top) and Zuko (bottom), being totally adorable by the window.