#that little girl character was the worst. why was she so fucking dumb

[holylulusworld]

Their girl

Summary: Your boss doesn’t even know your name. This doesn’t keep his guests from finding interest in you.

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Shy!Reader x Mobster!Steve Rogers

Warnings: shy reader, tension, awkwardness, fluff, polyamory, love-struck mobsters

A/N: The sequel no one expected to get.

Catch up here: The nameless girl

True to their words, Steve and Bucky stood in front of your apartment the next evening.

They prepared everything for your date while you spent the better part of the day looking for a new job.

This couldn’t be real. And you believed they wanted to make fun of you by inviting you for dinner like one of the beautiful girls from the club. 

“Hello doll,” Bucky lazily leaned in your door frame. He offered a bouquet of daisies to you and called you a pretty mouse.

“Sweet mouse,” Steve grinned and offered a single red rose to you, “you look…stunning.” They both looked dashing in their expensive suits, and polished shoes. 

“I-sorry. I’m not ready yet and…” you nervously babbled. Still, in your oversized Peanuts shirt and sweatpants, you looked ridiculous next to them. “I didn’t think you’d show.”

“Why?” Bucky furrowed his brows. He looked a little hurt at your words. “Why’d you think we would not keep our word and come here to court you.”

“I,” you dropped your gaze, afraid you angered the two of them. “Men like you don’t usually pay attention to someone like me. I’m shy, meek, and a grey mouse in contrast to the dancers at the club.”

“Doll,” Bucky pushed the flowers in Steve’s hands so he could cup your face with both hands. “If we say we want to take you out,” he leaned closer to look you deep in the eyes. “We mean what we say. We want to take you out. Not one of the girls at the club nor anyone else.”

You sniffled and murmured an apology. It was strange to you that two men tried to get your attention. Life taught you that most men only like a pretty façade.

Many guys you met didn’t care if a girl was selfish, dumb, or had the worst character as long as they were pretty enough to get their attention. 

“Y/N don’t apologize. I know we can be a bit overwhelming and intense,” Steve smirked when your eyes darted toward him. “Buck, tell her how much we like her.”

“Very much,” Bucky purred your name. He swiped his thumb over your lower lip only to groan deeply when you licked over his thumb and lightly sucked on it. “Fuck, Stevie. We got a dirty little mouse here.”

“Oh?” Steve watched you look at his friend like you were in a trance. “She’s such a cute surprise. Who would've thought we’d find our queen among all those boring girls.”

Bucky pecked your temple, making you sigh at the slightest touch of his lips. “We got lucky,” he said. “She’s one in a million.”

Steve chuckled at his friend’s eagerness. “How about we invite you for dinner at our home, Y/N. You can wear your cute shirt and sweatpants. We can have a sleepover and have dinner at the restaurant tomorrow.”

“We also got a job offer for you, doll,” Bucky whispered against your temple. “We got a free position in our organization.”

“Buck, that was a surprise!” Steve tutted but smirked when your eyes lit up. Losing your job at Clint’s club got you into trouble. Your landlord wants his money on time, not weeks or months later. “What do you say, doll? Do you want to come with us?”

“No.”

“No?” Bucky backpaddled at your answer. He looked you up and down, wondering if he misheard. “Did you say no?”

You took a deep breath and gathered all the courage you could muster and looked Bucky straight in the eyes. 

“I don’t want to sound ungrateful, Mr. Barnes,” you confidentially said, even though, your voice trembled, “but you are still strangers to me. I cannot go with you, to a place I don’t know. I’m shy, not crazy.”

“Aw, she’s even cuter than I thought,” Steve chuckled at your little outburst. “You’re right, Y/N. We will wait outside of your apartment for you to get ready like gentlemen. Please excuse our forwardness.”

“Steve and I will take you out for dinner and drive you back home. We can talk about the job offer on our way to the restaurant. Only if you want to, of course,” Bucky pouted and held out his hand. “Please don’t leave us hanging.”

“I’ll be right back,” you excused yourself and closed the door behind you, exhaling deeply. Your knees shook, but you were also proud of yourself for standing up against Steve and Bucky.

Steve and Bucky looked at each other, smirking for a second before they chuckled. 

“She’s so cute when mad,” Bucky laughed. “God, it makes me wild imagining her squirming underneath me while I take her apart. She will whimper my name and beg me to fill her up and breed her. But not before I ate her sweet cunt.”

Steve laughed. “You’re a horny dog.”

“Says the man running around with a boner since he laid eyes on our sweet mouse,” Bucky bit back. “I hope you know I’ll have her first. She will melt in my arms.”

“I hope you know Y/N is not like the other girls you easily wrapped around your fingers.”

“I know,” the brunette smirked. “That’s what I like about her, Steve. I knew the moment I laid eyes on her that things would be different with Y/N. It’s exciting, isn’t it?”

“Phew, you got it bad for her,” Steve whistled.

“You are no better,” Bucky snickered. “I know you want to make her ours. Do not deny it. You’re in too deep yourself.”

Both men waited patiently for you to join them outside of your apartment. They offered their arm to you, acting like gentlemen while guiding you toward their car.

The ride toward the restaurant was both, exciting and a little scary. You got into a car with two strangers promising to make you their queen.

Steve held the door to the restaurant open for you while Bucky guided you inside.

“You’ll love the restaurant,” Bucky said as he pulled the chair for you. “Did I already tell you that you look beautiful tonight, doll?”

“Thank you,” you stammered. You didn’t know if he meant what he said. Your sky-blue mini-dress was far from elegant. While all the other women at the restaurant looked like they came straight out of a fashion magazine, you felt underdressed. “It’s new…”

“I like that color on you,” Steve cupped your chin with one hand to tilt your head. “It’s cute and sweet.” You gasped feeling his lips press against the corner of your mouth. “Just like you.”

Bucky’s features darkened when you leaned into his friend’s touch.

“Shall we eat, doll?” He pulled a chair for you, making your heart flutter. “Steve was right, Y/N. You look beautiful in your dress. Did you buy it only for us?”

You giggled and dropped your gaze. “No,” you lied. “I bought it some weeks ago.”

“Aw, our doll believes she can lie to us, Buck,” Steve flashed you a stunning smile. “We know that you wanted to look pretty for us, Y/N. It’s not a bad thing you want to impress us. We did the same. Bucky spent two hours in his closet to find the perfect suit only to drive to town and buy a new one.”

“Steve did the same,” Bucky grabbed a chair and moved it closer to your seat. “He just likes to make everyone believe he looks good in everything without effort, including a potato sack.”

Steve grinned and ran one hand down his chest. “I’d rock that potato sack, Barnes. You know that.”

“I bet you would,” you murmured while eyeing Steve. He looked damn good in his suit and knew it. Men like him and Bucky always know how handsome they are. “You’re both very handsome.”

“Baby, you don’t have to stroke Steve’s ego,” Bucky moved his hand to your thigh to tickle your skin. “It’s already over the top. How about you stroke mine.”

“I think yours is over the top too,” you replied and gave him a tiny smirk before clearing your throat. “So…can we talk about the job now? You got me fired last night.”

“Straight to the point. I like it,” Steve grabbed the remaining chair and moved closer to yours too. He sat down only to place his hand on your other thigh. “We need someone to take care of our paperwork for our more legal business.”

“We need someone we can trust. Steve and I are rather bored when doing office work. You on the other hand have a lot of experience,” Bucky toyed with the hem of your dress while telling you more about the position you always dreamed of.

“How do you know about my work experience?”

“Baby doll, we are enchanted by you. This doesn’t mean we let a wolf in sheep’s clothing inside the inner circle of our business.” Steve pressed a soft kiss to your neck, making you sigh. “If you want the job, it’s yours.”

Bucky mirrored his partner. He pressed a soft kiss to your neck, lips nipping at the soft skin. “Oh, and the best is. You can bang your bosses…”

Tags in reblog.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

You seem like an incredibly well read person, plus someone with a lot of insight into intimacy because of your work. So, in light of your romance book reviews, which are an absolute highlight on your patreon, do you have any insight into what is needed/suggested for a good romance novel?

g o d this is so fucking hard and also really fun to chew on. I want to preface this by saying this is ENTIRELY subjective and based completely on what I *PERSONALLY* find that I enjoy in a romance. this isn't, like, an objective guide on how to write a romance that doesn't suck. that doesn't exist because people like different things, and I'm speaking from one perspective.

also I should say that my preferred flavor of romance novel is solidly contemporary. I haven't read many historicals, certainly not enough to opine well on them, I don't do those mafia dark romances or whatever the fuck, and I've barely dabbled at all in any kind of fantasy romance, whether they're full high fantasy or witchy urban fantasy stories. (although I'm about to do one of the latter next month, you can vote for a book on my patreon rn!)

having gotten all of those caveats out of the way, here's some shit I like and dislike:

there are exceptions to this but broadly, I prefer a POV for everyone involved in the relationship. to me a romance where we're only seeing events from the POV of one member of the relationship automatically makes it seem like one person matters more in a dynamic where everyone should be of equal importance. also, god, if the plot's really going to hinge on not knowing what's going on in one partner's head suggests that miscommunication is going to be a pretty critical part of the plot, and I hate that shit. TALK TO EACH OTHER. I'LL KILL YOU.

on that note, there needs to be an actual compelling reason why the characters can't be together, okay? the #1 driving tension of every romance is "why the fuck can't they be together yet" and you BETTER have a good answer. whether it's interpersonal or external forces, if there's a very easy solution to what's keeping them apart then your characters look dumb and I'm bored. one of the most frustrating romances I've ever read involved two characters who were mutually attracted to each from the JUMP, who refused to act on it because they were coworkers (neither of them in any position of authority of the other, nothing unprofessional or inappropriate about it) and they were "only" living in the same state for A YEAR. A FULL YEAR !!! shut up. get a grip and kiss each other.

now, having said that: whatever your bullshit reason is for these two characters to be interacting with each other, you need to COMMIT to that shit so hard that I, the reader, will feel silly for even questioning the logic. the worst offender I've ever seen on this front is D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding, which pulls its protagonists together via a reality TV competition and then just... promptly loses any interest in really dealing with the actual realities of being filmed 24/7? it's insanely distracting how little the book engages with its central hook, and was a huge point deduction for me. whereas you have, like, The Bride Test, a book with a premise that skirts dangerously close to a little bit of human trafficking but embraces the whole premise so wholeheartedly that you completely forget about the potentially horrific elements in there. who cares that Esme was bribed here with the promise of a green card if she seduces a man she's never met? there's whimsy happening! we've moved on! it's literally fine and she's in no danger except the danger of a BROKEN HEART.

this one is going to seem SO obvious but like. I need them to be actually like each other. I'm not saying they can't be mutually bitchy while they grow to like each other or anything, they don't have to always be NICE to each other, but there are so many M/F romances where the dude is just flat out fucking MEAN and condescending to the girl until he decides he wants to fuck her. and sometimes even after that! stop it! after a certain point I don't want her to fuck him I want her to run him over a car!!!! there's suuuuch a line between "guy I butt heads and exchange banter with but could fuck if we just got to know each other" and "man who hates me and is for real fucking bullying me."

"kisses only," "doors closed," whatever term they use for a romance novel without any sex scenes on page, I don't like it. listen: I know that they're not everybody's cup of tea, and I FULLY recognize that a lot of romance novel sex scenes are unfathomably cringe. and yet, I need them. partly because they're funny, but also because if this book wants me to be invested in the developing relationship between two adults who are supposed to be WILDLY sexually attracted to each other, then I want to see the damn sex. no matter how many bad similes or unfortunate adjectives it entails. and if you're not going to show me the sex, don't you dare have the characters gushing about how great it is. I'll be the judge of that, thank you very much. (I'm looking at you, Sorry, Bro.)

related: there's this thing that I call "Horny Wolf Syndrome," which is derived from this tweet:

initially I used it to refer to when previously sweet-tempered male romance protags inexplicably started talking like horny wovles during sex scenes - "LET ME SEE YOUR PRETTY CUNT ON MY COCK" and the like - but now I more generally use it to refer to scenarios in which characters of any gender completely dispense with their established personality while they fuck in order to fulfill a more broadly appealing, one-size-fits-all sexual fantasy. I hate that shit; if your characters act like completely unrecognizable people during sex, you didn't write very strong characters. one of my favorite things about writing sex scenes is that it's so SO interesting to see how their the characters' personal quirks translate into a setting that's very different from most other contexts, and it's deeply disappointing when authors take the easy route in favor of some pornhub dialogue.

one of the things that actually won my most recent read, Raiders of the Lost Heart, a HUGE amount of points with me was how frank the female lead was about initiating sex for the first time. it was completely in character for her and felt really different than any other book I've read, and honestly? it was a breath of fresh air.

[mhsdatgo]

The Helaemonds/Helaegons need to calm down.

Don't get me wrong, it's always refreshing to see some people fill in the gaps of a basically untold relationship such as the one between the green kids in general, but this goes beyond basic obsessive shippy discourse. Leave this poor girl alone. Why's there an obsession with having her be romantically paired with her brothers, one worse than the other?

I understand the show has basically shown so little of her to the point where we didn’t even have a coronation for her on screen, so therefore you can self insert through her and have fun with headcanons regarding Aegon and Aemond. Really, I'm not faulting their girlies, you can be head over heels for whatever actor in character you want (unless you put them on pedestals and start acting like they did nothing wrong and pounce on whoever contests them, THEN we have a problem) but I assure you, Helaena would barely want anything to do with either of them.

Aegon is a sex pest turned sex offender, a drunkard and a neglectful father and husband at best. Her infamous toast in ep.8 has us believing that he cannot for the life of him interact with her unless he's horny drunk or that he forces himself on her at worst.* He was ready to leave them all in ep.9 before he was caught. Even the book is subtle about their relationship: all we know of them is that they sleep in shared chambers, that she was someone important and reliable in Aegon's council before B&C, and that he named her and Alicent the true Queens of his reign.

*(⚠️TW: PERSONAL OPINION⚠️ I'm not saying this last one isn't a possibility but it's sill outrageous for the way people speak about Helaena in defence of this "claim". No, she wouldn't joke about her own r*pe in front of the whole table full of people she doesn't know and right beside her abuser, and despite the hour-long metas I've read about how she's basically "too sheltered" to know what r*pe even means, I assure you she's a high-functioning autistic, not 5 years old. She can understand it perfectly.)

Helaemond is a pure show invention, I honestly wasn't expecting this many people to go up this kind of train. They barely interact, and most of the time it's Aemond saying he'd "perform his duty" should Helaena ever be wed to him, or that stare in ep.9 when he enters her chambers toiling after Alicent. It's, as always, the Aemond girlies who think poor Helaena would live her best life with Aemond, or that they are already romantically involved behind the scenes. The amount of "if one possesses a thing, the other will take it away" edits from people that are FULLY CONVINCED "the thing" is Helaena and that "the one" and "the other" are Aemond and Aegon respectively is honestly concerning.

Fics that are all about Aegon doing the worst and unspeakable things to her so "Aemond can come and save her" are y'all okay? Out of all people, HE has to save her?

Babes, I'm sorry to break your bubble, but this isn't Aegon IV/Naerys/Aemon on steroids. Aemond didn't give two shits about Helaena. No, he wasn't jealous when Jace came to ask her to dance, he just wanted to stir some shit. If we talk about the books, he didn't fucking hesitate to leave King's Landing, his sister, his mother and whatever he was doing for the Riverlands the second he heard that Daemon was there. And he brought the only means of defence they had with him. If he knew how important Vhagar was for the city's defence, he's evil, if he didn't realize it, he's dumb as fuck. Which one is it, Aemond girlies?

People beat each other to the curb about Jaehaerys, Jaehaera and Maelor's paternity like it's the Wars of The Roses. They put Helaena and Alys against the other like they have personal beef with one of them.

Stop mentioning this sweetheart only when it's about praising or hating one of her brothers. No, it's not the only option you have because she's underdeveloped as a character. There's actually another one.

LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE.

[sugawarassoulmate]

okok im back with incel!kenma

whats even worse is if you really can’t tell if you’re a guy or a girl, the type of person that gives gender envy. if you have longer hair he just assumes your like him and can’t be bothered to cut it.

OKAY THIS THOUGHT JUST HIT ME MID TYPING! YOU’RE THE BITCH NERD!/LOSER!KURO CANT STOP TALKING ABOUT. THERES TWO MAYBE THREE WAYS HE CAN FIND OUT ITS YOU.

also ik this isn’t one of your hcs for kuro but nerd/loser!kuro x mean!goth!gf but maybe you’re not mean to him but everyone else, people even look at him the wrong way and you have them absolutely terrified. and during your face chats with him you never have your makeup or you daily clothes on. normally just bare faced and in something of kuros. surpising how he didn’t pick up kuros old nekoma jersey

number one: maybe kuro posts a picture of you on his story possibly at your pc playing with incel!kenma. or it could be one of the spicy mirror pictures you made him post because why the hell is the dumb bitch from class feeling up on your man for. maybe you even rant to kenma about this dumb bitch who can’t keep her hands to herself, and why the fuck is she touching a taken man. (okay i think incel!kenma is misogynistic but not homophobic because why the fuck would anyone want to deal with some needy whore constantly.) but that rant solidifies the thought that you are infact a guy maybe not one who hates women on the same level as he does but a man nonetheless. but once kuro posted that picture he figured it out and was disgusted.

number 2: kuro is at your house studying, so to keep your boredom at bay you hop online with kenma, it’s about two hours in when he hears a knock shuffling in the back ground followed by the sound of someone falling onto your bed when he asked about it your response is casual “oh its just my boyfriend.” and he doesn’t pick at it anymore. but then the mic catches a familiar voice in the background. “pretty girl when are you gonna be done, i want to take a nap with you” you give a hum in response to his question. “alright bro gotta leave after this round, so we have to win don’t wanna lose the last match of the day.” obviously you land up losing because kenma can’t get his pretty little head around the fact that he couldn’t tell you were some fucking bitch, you never told him either so that makes you a fucking liar (even tho he didn’t ask). when the game disconnects he’s seething.

number three: this is the worst option really kuro begs him to come hang out with him at his girlfriend, he swears up and down that she’s not the type of woman he’d hate. promises that they have a lot of the same interests. maybe he sends a picture of you cosplaying as one of his favorite characters but that just lowers his opinion, in the photo he can’t even tell its you though. so he’s even more confused when he meets you guys at the arcade. he cautiously calls you by your in game name and you respond with a smile and respond with your irl name. he’s genuinely not sure how to react. not just bc you’re the person he’s been gaming with for almost a year, but with your thick ass platforms you’re just as talk as kuro if not taller. you literally look down at him, can he even talk shit about a bitch like you with out getting his as beat.

anyway this drug out for way longer than intended. but yeah incel!kenma making assumptions and being totally wrong. how funny would it be if he had a crush on kuros gf

bestie.....my beloved......all of the options just sound so amazing to me omg *kisses u*

the absolute torture incel!kenma has to go through upon finding out that 1) his favorite gaming buddy is a disgusting female, 2) she's dating his best friend and somehow he never knew, and 3) she's so fucking hot that kenma can't stop picturing her face every time he rubs one out.

and you just won't let him live you're so fucking mean to him that kenma can't even get a word in when you're roasting him. the only thing that reels you in is kuroo's soft, pleading voice asking you to be nice.

kenma's embarrassed that his friend has become such a simp but fuck if he didn't wish he was on the receiving end of your sweet words.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 民国奇探/My Roommate is a Detective.

My Roommate is a Detective is a 2020 drama about the Jazz Age shenanigans of a terrible OT3: a useless noodle boy, a spoiled journalist girl, and a handsome thug-turned-cop, who together solve Agatha Christie mysteries in 1920s Shanghai.

I mean, seriously, have you ever wondered what Hercule Poirot would be like if he were a 6'2" Chinese rubber man? If he had a long-suffering sugar daddy from the wrong side of the tracks and a spunky sugar mommy who owned their shared apartment? The answer is, it would be a laugh-out-loud-funny series about a ridiculous and charming assortment of weirdos solving only slightly believable murder mysteries in charming period clothing.

This is another one of those shows where I'm kind of shocked at how not well-known it is, except I'm not, because I can see exactly the problems that keep fandom from descending on it like horny little vultures. Nonetheless, I think it's a good time that more people would enjoy if they gave it the chance. Here's five reasons why you should:

1. Equal parts smart as heck and dumb as butts

On the one hand, especially given its tone and tenor, this show has many surprisingly clever turns and thoughtful moments, carried along by some talented actors. On the other hand, [.gif of a guinea pig in a rollerskate being pushed merrily down a hallway]

This show is not a complicated intellectual exercise. It's an action comedy about a goofy sleuth, a rich-girl reporter, and the cop who should be the straight man in this trio, except he's as much of a goober as the other two are. If the promotional tableaus are giving you real "cover of a Clue box" vibes, you've understood the kind of pastiche it's pulling off.

The mysteries are preposterous. They're all the kind of thing that exemplify the Doyle line about how, when you've eliminated the impossible, whatever's left has got to be the answer, no matter how ding-dang improbable it may be. You know the type: tons of overly elaborate setups, unbelievably perfect timing, coincidental long-lost relatives, people hallucinating right and left. They're also very short -- most full cases take only 2-3 episodes to introduce, investigate, and resolve, even when interspersed with the larger goings-on in these weirdos' lives. The DramaWiki page for the show lists 23 separate arcs over 36 episodes, so you do the math.

And yet, it's way more thoughtful and clever than its doofy little setup would indicate. Its attention to detail surprised me on more than one occasion. Add to that a bunch of solid performances from an ensemble of real characters, and what you get is definitely more substantive than a junk-food waste of time. You can't turn your brain off while watching it, but you sure can turn it down, and that's great.

It also doesn't hurt that everyone is super attractive and wearing great outfits. The whole show's worth it for the wardrobes.

2. THE GIRL

Fuck the haters, fuck everyone, I am going to climb right up on my little soapbox and tell you all why Bai Youning is awesome.

She is insane. She's a troll. She's a clever little monster. Every other character's response to her is, oh my god, you are literally the worst. And she is! She has been spoiled beyond belief by her incredibly rich Crime Dad, and she has learned to leverage her uwu just a widdle girl status to get her whatever the hell she wants. She simply cannot hear it when someone says the word "no." She will look her future sister-in-law in the eye and point a loaded gun at her own head without blinking. Every ball she has is made of brass.

She's hardly perfect. During the course of the show, there are some times where her entitlement runs face-first into the brick wall of reality. She's not nearly as good at her chosen career path as she's been told (mostly by the people who get paid to tell her she's good). She's rarely prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions, especially when she can't just throw money at the problem.

So she learns, and grows, and changes. She's always going to be a stubborn bitch, but she can become a stubborn bitch with a more accurate conception of her relationship to the world around her.

She's actually a really good romantic foil for Lu Yao, who is equally stubborn and spoiled and obnoxious as hell. It is a pure brat4brat relationship, where each one thrives on comically enraging the other. What this means, though, is that when they actually start showing one another some vulnerability, it's really sweet.

Now: I'm pretty sure that you could not have made a female character in her position that everyone did not hate, no matter how cool you made her, because that is the fate of all girls who theoretically keep the two boys from kissing. (More on that next point.) If she were less outgoing and friendly, she would've been hated for being too cold. If she were less headstrong, she would've been hated for being a pushover. If she weren't as into the boy, she would've been hated for being frigid. I know the "god forbid a woman do anything" meme is a joke, but ... man, god forbid this girl do anything. She gets a level of hate entirely disproportionate to what she's actually like. As I said with Eom Dada, it's not always sexism, but sometimes, yeah, it's sexism.

(Real talk: Her character is also fighting both how she's definitely not written as well as the boys are and how the plot sometimes needs her to be artificially stupid and jealous for Straightness Drama Reasons, so that's a legit problem on a structural level. Also, she's dubbed by someone else and the boys aren't, which gives her voice an annoying not-quite-there quality that's hard to ignore. The deck is stacked against her real hard even before she steps onscreen.)

So here's my advice: Go into this show wanting to like her. Embrace her terribleness as a positive, intentional quality. Don't be mad at her for straightening up an endgame that was never going to be gay, even without her. Welcome her contributions to the chaos. Realize that she is exactly as entertainingly irritating as her boys are.

Truly, this is a story of three terrible people in love. They're all just awful, and you wouldn't want to be in a room with any of them for longer than you had to. Left to right up there, Bai Youning is spoiled and self-absorbed, Lu Yao is arrogant and lazy, and Qiao Chusheng is suuuuuch a fucking cop. If you're into the kind of dynamic that can only be described OT3: You All Deserve One Another, then this one's perfect for you.

3. Do you really miss '00s queerbaiting?

Like, really? Are you just super-nostalgic for being able to see the showrunners go, ha ha, girls, we know you're watching and we know you want these cute boys to kiss, which they never will -- but what if we pretended for just this one scene??? Do you just carnally ache for that with every fiber of your being?

Yep.

Now, why am I calling the occasional really gay moments between these two gentlemen "queerbaiting" and not "bromance"? Because these moments are a) obviously intentional, b) completely sporadic, and c) never spoken of again.

For example: There's a scene (which you can see a gifset of here) where the two of them are at a restaurant frequented by the cop, who brings a lot of ladies there on dates. When the waiter points this out, useless noodle boy says, I'm his date. The waiter looks mildly surprised by this, the cop says not to listen to his bullshit, and that's the end of it. The scene moves on. There is no further discussion of this comment. It does not affect their relationship.

That's the essence of queerbaiting: that little on-purpose nod to the homoerotic tension between the two, in a way that isn't a joke but also isn't not a joke, and either way is never going to happen. (In fact, the show is going to go out of its way to make sure that ship gets sunk, so, uh, get your fanfiction lifeboats ready for that.)

A true queerbaiting move is something that should make a difference in a relationship, but doesn't. It should make a difference that our cop is so comfortable in the noodle boy's personal space that he invades it at will. It doesn't. It should make a difference that noodle boy keeps getting real weird every time the cop has a date with a girl. It doesn't. Those are some real romantic moves the two of them keep pulling, and then nothing comes of them.

I had this show sold to me as being incredibly shippy, to the point of being even more so than its censored-BL contemporaries. And ... well, it is and it isn't. It has textually gayer individual moments, but it is much less pervasively gay. It's clear from the start that it's going to throw all its actual relationship points into its canon het romance. When it comes to these boys, the show is toying with you. It knows you want to see those boys smooch, just as much as it knows (and it knows you know) they're never gonna.

How you feel about this is entirely up to you -- and indeed, it may be a dealbreaker on the whole drama for you. If you are inclined to pitch a fit when your ship does not become canon, you'll be happier somewhere else. If, however, you see this as a delightful opportunity to do whatever the hell you want with the situation as it is presented, all the while enjoying little moments of startlingly blatant homoeroticism between two handsome dudes, well, here you are!

(I mean, if you want my take on it, what needs to happen is that the cop and the girl need to fuck while the useless noodle boy watches with asexual bisexual interest, and then they all need to snuggle with the noodle boy in the middle so they can both annoy him appropriately, but your mileage may vary.)

4. The multicultural extravaganza!

1920s Shanghai had a lot going on in terms of cultures and languages, and this show actually does a fair job of representing that.

By now, I've seen a number of shows set during this era, and they all at least acknowledge the international nature of the city -- usually by mentioning the French Concession and having a handful of evil Japanese characters. However, this is the first time I've seen a show go to such lengths to actually show so many non-Chinese characters onscreen, even to the point of making one a recurring character supporting the main squad.

Salim is the best. Whatever he is being paid, it's not enough. He's Qiao Chusheng's right-hand man, which means he is also the dude who most often has to put up the main trio's bullshit. (The actor himself is also a dude with a pretty cool backstory, which is another great layer.) He's sharp, he's loyal, he's patient, and he looks great with his shirt off. He's got it all!

Other non-Chinese characters include a white Jewish art collector (I'd issue a warning for period-typical antisemitism, except … honestly, it's mostly just confused), a sadistic priest who maybe is supposed to be Italian, a completely different priest who [last episode spoiler], and three whole sinister white dudes behind it all.

It's not just the world coming to China, though! A large number of the Chinese characters are said to have spent significant time outside of China, whether for business or for schooling. Near the end, when some characters are discussing moving away from Shanghai, they consider a number of foreign cities as potential destinations.

Here's a delightful detail: When Lu Yao and his sister speak English, they're dubbed by actors with posh British accents who sound like native (or near-native) English-speakers. This makes perfect sense, because both of the siblings did a lot of their schooling in the UK. When Bai Youning speaks English, she's dubbed by someone who speaks English very well but also has a noticeable Chinese accent, which makes perfect sense for her character's background. And Qiao Chusheng never speaks English at all, because he's a street tough who has no reason to know more than three words.

...This is also kind of weird to say about something literally made in China, but go with me on it: Everything's kind of got that Art Deco Orientalist vibe to it. It looks like China's idea of what Britain's idea of China during that period would have looked like. The result comes across less like what 1920s Shanghai would actually have looked like, and more what an ad for 1920s Shanghai would have looked like. It's a fascinating aesthetic, and more so for how it's mostly pretty subtle. The show isn't some visual extravaganza, but it's always very nice to look at, and I appreciate that in a show.

5. A wonderful horrible protagonist

A lot of mystery-themed prestige television involves an asshole genius detective who gets away with being a dick to everyone because he's sooooo smart, while all his long-suffering friends and colleagues spend a lot of time doing damage control for him because, sigh, he's an asshole but we need him, genius excuses all dickhead behavior, we'll always make exceptions for him because he's just ever so special. (Watch histrionic sage hbomberguy's video on Sherlock if you're unfamiliar with the trope.)

Lu Yao is an asshole genius detective, but one who winds up spending most of his time being an asshole to a) people who deserve it, or b) his horrible friends who will be assholes right back at him. When he is awful to the people who don't deserve it, the show smacks him pretty hard on the nose for it and makes him apologize.

This is a show where you'll figure out pretty quckly if you'll love it or hate it, because if you love Lu Yao, you'll love it, and vice versa. He carries most of the show himself, with his goofy charm and his incredibly bendy slenderman body and his ability to make the one competent person he knows both protect him and give him money.

Like so.

For my own part, I find him intensely charming, and I think a lot of this has to do with Hu Yitian's ability to play him as an affectionately bullyable weenie who needs to get shoved in a locker for his own good. He's the worst, and it's comically endearing instead of offputting because at the end of the day, he really does have a good heart. He's just also lazy as heck and disinclined to do anything that he does not want to be doing, and really, aren't we all?

As I alluded to in point 3, he comes across as real asexual. He's just not that interested in sex, and he is in fact pretty uncomfortable in situations where he finds himself the subject of someone else's sexual desires. He's perfectly capable of romantic feelings! I mean, not only does he get Bai Youning as a love interest, we actually meet one of his ex-girlfriends. He's just not partciularly horny about them -- which is even more noticeable as a sharp contrast to how extremely horny Qiao Chusheng is for just about everyone, but this exasperating little dork in particular.

(Like seriously, 90% of the time, Chusheng is about to explode with sexual frustration at Lu Yao's skinny oblivious ass.)

This isn't to say you couldn't get Lu Yao into bed, because you absolutely could, and he'd probably have a good time. You'd just have to remove all distractions from the room, lest his ADHD ass wind up running off to solve a crime mid-coitus.

Twiggy little nightmare man. Garbage-animal boy. Love him.

sidebar: A word about the ending

I'm going to be vague and talk about general vibes instead of specific events, but you should still skip this section if you want to remain completely unspoiled. Jump to the picture of Chusheng holding the sledgehammer.

Okay, so, a lot of people do not like the ending, and I'm including myself in that number. I honestly don't know if they got rushed and had to wrap everything pretty last-minute, or if they thought they might get a second season out of it and were leaving things open-ended accordingly. Either way, it's incredibly unsatisfying.

I think there's a clue that the show didn't actually want to end this way, and it's not actually in the text of the show itself. Every episode, between the last scene and the start of the credits, you get to see a couple still frames from the episode (usually some of the queerbaity ones). After the very final shot of the series, you get two images: the boys hugging goodbye, and Chusheng's upset face. That's not a resolution! That is at best a "to be continued..." ending!

But no, that's it. That's all, folks.

It's not quite an ending so bad it ruins the rest of the show, mostly because it doesn't feel finished, so it's less like you're watching a car being deliberately driven into a wall because someone thought that was the best route to take, and more like you're watching someone leave a car on the railroad tracks because they figured they'd have time to move it later.

As far as I know, there has been no noise made about a second season. These 36 episodes are the entirety of the narrative. It had the distinct misfortune to start airing in March 2020, which wasn't exactly prime time for planning sequels, and that seems to have been that. (There is a 2022 show called Checkmate that stars the two main guys in extremely similar roles, also adapting Agatha Christie stories, but it's apparently pretty meh? Somebody else who's actually seen it, go ahead and weigh in here.)

I'll say that if you turn off the episode right after Lu Yao gets out the handcuffs, you'll save yourself the worst of it the awkward and unsatisfying moments (though I'm impressed at your willpower to stop watching something five minutes from the end). That's not all of it, though. Structurally, there are several situations rushed to a resolution and loose threads left flapping untied in the breeze. I guess stopping before the last five minutes simply saves you the hope that it'll pull a good ending out of the fire, because it won't.

And let's be real: The more you hate Bai Youning and her romance with Lu Yao, the more you'll hate the ending. (Not that liking those elements will necessarily make you like the ending, of course, because I'm a fan of hers and I still think the ending is butts.) The ending is already like a pair of uncomfortable shoes; if the het romance especially makes you grind your teeth, the ending becomes a pair of uncomfortable shoes that also have a rock in them. A lot of the comments online indicate plenty of people dropped the show when they learned the het romance would be endgame. It's a pretty common dealbreaker.

Oh well. Bring on the fanfic, I say! Those of us who are used to taking a sledgehammer to canon are unafraid.

Smash it, baby.

Still want to see some of these mysteries?

Both iQiyi and Viki have the answer to your sleuthing!

It's not a perfect show -- as evidenced by my digression about the ending -- but it's a lot of fun. If you can handle the occasional foible and some eyebrow-raising moments, you're in for a good time with some attractive people that occasionally tastes very gay.

Every roommate crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

[arcanemadman]

The Castlevania franchise feels like it's getting more and more divided since Netflixvania started and it's getting really bloody frustrating to the point that while watching Nocturne I've felt disquieted, and I think I've realised why that is.

It's the fucking DmC:Devil May Cry white hair fiasco all over again.

For those that don't know, when the DmC reboot was revealed people had a lot of criticism, including turning Dante from a cool but likeable hero into a foul mouthed smoker, the dumbing down of the gameplay, the antagonism towards the fanbase, and turning his iconic white hair black. Of all these criticism, only the hair colour change was given any attention, painting the fan base in a very negative light and side stepping the real issues people had by only focusing on the cherry rather than the whole sundae.

All this attention directed towards something that in the grand scheme of things is very minor but it gets all the attention while the bigger stuff is ignore.

Yes, there are people mad about the show for racist reasons and they shouldn't be listened to, but there are genuine complaints that are being swept up with that.

The character changes have a sort of domino effect on everything. Maria being a serious revolutionary is interesting, but I saw someone put it best that what made her special was the fact that she was a little girl in a world of classic horror that believed she was in a fairy tale and had the power to force that reality on everyone else. Netflix Maria is good, but lacks the charm of Maria.

The second example is Juste. When I saw him I was very excited, but that was mainly because it was acknowledgement of the original canon than anything else. His magical prowess, the thing that makes him stand out among the Belmont linage, is mentioned and then brushed aside, and the worst ending of his game is what is taken as canon. And once Richter gets his magic back, Juste is gone. He feels like a plot point rather than the character. I sympathise with people who's favourite game was Harmony of Dissonance.

Annette was a compelling character with a well developed story, but anyone that says her original characterisation would never work are being disingenuous because they literally did that, except that did so with Tera. The connections to Richter and Maria, the damsel elements, the fact she gets turned into a vampire, all from Annette. Swapping them around wouldn't work for multiple reasons and I'm not going to say I can do better than people you get paid to write when I don't, but I feel I can say that if they had wanted to they could have done something closer to the original while still touching on the themes and narratives they wanted to.

Olrox... honestly the only criticism I can really think of is the removal of any reference to Count Orlock.

There's an elitism with both sides of the fanbase here. On the Netflix side, there's the feeling that since theirs is more popular that any criticism is because people are just nostalgic, and game fans feel that since theirs is the original foundation that anyone that doesn't agree with them is just a new fair-weather fan. And honestly, I'm more sympathetic to the game fans.

I've seen Netflixvania fans look at people complaining that the character have changed and go "yeah well the version you like sucks so you should just grow up" As if that's going to make everything better. And all the people complaining about the race changes or posting "WOKE?!?!?!" have poisoned the well for any actual discussion about this, not helped by the social media accounts deliberately stoking the flames in the mistaken belief that all publicity is good publicity, which raised the ire of nexflixvania creators. Unfortunately marketing can often be removed from the intentions of the creators.

Yes, Netflixvania is a great show, with beautiful animation and great storytelling, but it's not perfect and as an adaptation is leaves a lot to be desired. And that's the crux of it! The show is good, really good! But it doesn't feel like an adaptation of Castlevania. It's just a bunch of little details that pile up to make it less of what the game fans liked about the series. It's more grimdark horror than classic horror. It's more crude than it is philosophical. It's more hopeless than it is hopeful. And regardless of what you individually think, that's what people have liked about Castlevania for almost 40 years.

Ultimately I just have to ask, why do people seem to assume that you can't make a faithful adaptation while also making it interesting? They're not mutually exclusive.

[atla-confessions]

Hi, it's the Rozin anon. Crawled out from my w40k obsession back into my ATLA phase because of Roku's novel. I love that little twerp, what can I say to justify myself? (Sozin too, mwah *throws him into a blender*)

Came here to complain again. Shocker, I know. And I think I figured out why so little people actually took Rozin seriously and haven't reduced into a fandom joke, like 90% of the fandom did. It's because ATLA fans don't see Roku (and Sozin) as characters of their own too. They don't take them seriously and even had shown their clear dislike for the characters. It's understandable in Sozin's case. A bad guy, an imperialist, a traitor, a closeted bigot. But I, to this day, had never understood the hate surrounding Roku.

Seriously, what did this guy do? Left Sozin alone after threatening him? Killing Sozin would've brought disastrous consequences, because he is a fire lord who, presumably, has already earned nation's loyalty to him. Killing him would've caused so much pain in the ass to the future avatars as well. Besides, this is literally exactly what everyone's beloved Kyoshi did with her fire lord problem. "But Chin the-!" She literally didn't do anything until he came to her land. How many people had Chin's army killed before she stepped in? How many villages and towns had he pillaged before she stepped in? I know the avatar is a human and literally can't be an omnipresent beacon of justice, stopping evil no matter where it is, but... Come on, girl! Also, I don't care what you say, but, that's not murder. I played Ace Attorney, I can prove Kyoshi's innocence whatever she likes it/agrees with me or not.

The volcano death? Volcanoes are fucking terrifying, man! The Yellowstone Volcanoes used to give me NIGHTMARES when I was a kid. Often times, the lava is not even the worst part. The ash fall, which would lead to food shortage and therefore massive famine, the lava coming into contact with water producing toxic gases, the area being a hell on Earth in the foreseeable future, the earthquakes, the tsunamis! And Roku had to keep track of ALL OF THOSE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME. Even if people were already on the boats, they could still had been hit by a massive wave generated by another eruption. "But Aang-!" His volcano was on land and a bit smaller. Also he had to deal with only one. Roku had to deal with two at same time, that were in the close proximity with each other, all on the same small island. No wonder Sozin came to help.

And, okay. All of the points I mentioned had already been brought up by other people when defending Roku. But, now we finally have the Roku centric novels! Yay! Finally, Roku fans won't have to read dumb shit being said about their favorite charact-

Aaaaaand people are now freaking out over the leaks! I'm not going to spoil anything here, but just... Guys... Can we PLEASE not gatekeep fucking BENDING??? Your fave won't die or become irrelevant just because another character can do what they can. Maybe focus on something actually unique and important of theirs, like, idk, their personality??? Their relationship with other characters??? How pretty/sexy they are??

Anyway, I'm pissed off and now I'll go and draw young Roku in a cow print bikini. Femboy Roku agenda, idc anymore, I'm anon, what are you gonna do to me?

X

[fareehaandspaniards]

10, 15, 16 and 19 for fandomry ask meme?

10. worst part of fanon

Butch and edgy Lady Maria? Dumb Ludwig? Pervy Gehrman? In shitposts - why not, jokes and etc, little headcanons that don't interfere with canon - okay! :( But like, when big part of the fandom takes that as canon....

Also I would like to spit out my hate towards some depictions of Micolash, but we don't know anything about him actually. If we take fanon, he is the head of the School of Mensis, one of the Byrgenwerth squad along with Rom, Laurence and Caryll and etc. So if it became fanon, why people take away his personality? If he achieved everything he has, he must be something more than a man-failure... Maybe he even has MOTIVATION for all the shit he did... Haha no he was just goofy so he became local Josef Mengele haha silly man... Again, I like shitposts, jokes and everything like that. But ehh...

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

EXTRA feminine and lusty Laurence. I don't mind when people draw him looking feminine or androgynous, why not, preferences and etc. But too often I encounter fanart with a sexy ginger girl titled "Laurence the First Vicar". I mean it can exist, of course. But SO MANY fanarts where the fucking VICAR, FACE of the Healing CHURCH, biggest man-failure and a character with a largest ground for headcanons - is mostly pictured like a 16 y.o. horny grill - nah okay

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing

Fucking a Doll??? Ayo??? OKAY, stay with Doll, love the Doll, cherish/pat/comfort the Doll, do whatever you want, but so many fanart about sex with her...? I am complaining not even about Tumblr fandom rn actually, mostly about reddit or russian fandom. She is the "souls-maiden", but she is like a child. She has a mind of a child. She is hand-made, her body isn't even soft (I suppose? lol). I think the Doll is the only character for who I accept ONLY asexual headcanons

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

...kind of like all of this simultaneously when I try to talk about BB NOT on Tumblr. Mostly people just quote the videos with lore theories and pretend that they are 100% canon. So all the russians discussions about bb for me are like

-Laurence brought the forbidden blood to Cainhurst himself 100% canon

-It's only theory

-Cleric Beast IS Laurence

-No

-Annalise is Queen Yharnam's sister, she killed her

-What

-Damn I'd fuck Maria or whatever her name is

-*leaves*

[castellla]

ok but fr kikuri is my fave because

1: same hat - i too, am 30something and on substances For Reasons.

the audience is basically handed a diagram that says: why does kikuri drink so much? :( -> oh right, yeah. Capital-and-Other-Isms

2: audience stand in - thank you for laughing at bocchi-chan's faces. wipes tear from eye they are funny

3: best damn mentor for a non-sober person award - look, seika can have the 'responsible person' stuff. who doesn't appreciate a distant, yet loving manager? the kind of person who secretly makes her kid sisters dumb friends 401k's and starts dumping whatever she can in there cause you think they're gonna do it? compounding interest compounds.

not this scrungly oneechan. come to kikuri's awesome boozehouse of fun and mistakes for the 'oh, you're pretty fucked up too! nice lol. like sux actually but Nice throws bocchi-chan a life-saving liferaft like it was nothing (come back here bitch i said i Owe you my Life)

and, well, she's so salazzled all the time that she's running Default Kikuri.OS which seems to be: just a happy lil guy. just here 2 have a good time and help other people have a good time also. if there's swears to be said, she might do it. if there's horny flirty things to be said, or perhaps, senpais to get handsy with...

will there be property damage: yes & it's why i'm worried she's Without a Home :sob: but it's worth noticing none of the property damage was damaged in anger - just like, drunken childlike joy/lack of impulse control. christ, you put a hole in the wall that easy? do you work out? are you on the straight dude workout regimen? ...o-or the not straight girl workout regimen? ...anyway, this does not negate the fact that shit did get broken.

will vomit be vomited: yeah, but in anime it's really funny and i can't smell it. i mean her throat probably hurts like fuck and shes gotta be nauseous tho

will thoughtless comments be commented: yes, but i feel like a villain for saying so!!!! oh well.

but i ask the Perceivers among us to consider what kind of things they last said when drunk - stupid? embarrassing? overly horny? - and remember that she's drunk basically All the fucking time. like all the time. the fact that she manages to say anything BUT the worst shit anyone's ever said out loud is a testament to her character as a human.

seems like the drunker + more rejected feeling she gets = sometimes, the harder in she leans to "keep tapping the skinner box of love until love come out"

Various Content makes her do a brock eyes opening thing to indicate shit's hitting a little different for ol kikuri-neechan

e12 -- bocchi-chan is gonna have a fucking panic attack at the worst possible moment; the dutch angle is kind enough to let us know kikuri saw that happen and gets it. i mean, wtf is she supposed to do from even the front for her, other than hope she'll be okay? thankfully, kita wanted to be a constellation so bad she watched her, saw it about to happen, and shredded to saved bocchi's hide. s-stupid femme beautiful rock princess i love her to death

consider her past; she started drinking to overcome the overwhelming anxiety of stage fright because she had no choice but to play music live for people. bocchi had nicobicobouga (assumed name) because the internet was around - but people older than her just didn't. if you wanted to play, and for people to listen, they'd have to be standing in front of you. yeah, shit sucks, actually. if you perhaps... suffer from social anxiety so badly you couldn't speak to your classmates, but wanted to play music soooo fucking bad because you couldn't imagine a life with you in it otherwise?... what other options did she have? booze is easy to get. especially in japan, and i imagine especially in a music setting. (i am a loser with sensitive ears so have no firsthand knowledge, however.) frankly i want kikuri to get a weed card slash dealer but that's just for me personally as a stoner dyke

she is lightly pushy about offering bocchi - who is of course, underage - alcohol. however, i really doubt it's her intention to do a hey bocchers. wanna WEED? at her: she is probably literally not able to cognitively remember the previous conversation(s) they had about it. she's never taken her 'no im too babey to alcalahol :(' and gone 'lol, sure. PEER PRESSURE, WOOO!' and kegstanded the poor little dweeb against her will.

given how just literally drunk she is and the level of impulse control that typically affords, i have to imagine: in the second in front of her: all she sees is - hey, look who it is! it's ol' bocchi-chan! bocchi-chan who is clearly having a Hard Time Coping. wonder if she wants a drink to chill out! better offer her some so she can have it. hey bocchers wanna Weed

...but the hardest thing about alcohol if you're underage is getting it! so, she offers, but hitori gotoh has the moral compass of a (insert competently-written metaphor - we'll definitely fix it in post!), so she truly seems content with not touching it until she's Of Age. uh, okay, "content" might not be the right word. aside from her own cynical, but not inaccurate mind palace excursions into the possible future that awaits her if she were to start drinking. plenty of people drink underage and don't become alcoholics - bocchi herself just has too much physical anxiety to cope with the thought of something that could have such enormous stakes. for her, the stakes of 'drinking' are social more than anything - she's paralyzed with worry about becoming a disappointment and burden to her loved ones. and she doesn't trust future bocchi to not do that. she sees every road as yet another slippery slope to humiliation and rejection. it is an utterly miserable way to live.

the human brain is wired to comprehend 'social rejection' with 'the threat of death.' for our evolutionary ancestors, not being able to fit in with the group meant getting ditched out in the middle of nowhere, literally left to starve and die alone. this is partly because one of our evolutionary legs-up was our ability to communicate with others, form groups, and cooperate. this is hunter-gatherer level lizard brain shit. it's important because we have to all understand: one way or another, we're all wired this way. it's more complex now, because society and technology have become more complex. but brain-wise? 'oh god, am i saying too much about LIZARDS and CAVEMEN' feels the same to bocchi as 'i was so annoying, even my own family would leave me alone to starve, because i was that permanently, irredeemably loathsome.'

a caveman bocchi-chan would be interesting. unga bunga

on a brain level, this is the fight-flight-freeze response bocchi is experiencing when she has her very funnily animated episodes. is it funny she's doing that? well, sort of... her face is pretty funny. her reaction is pretty funny. her internal experience is that of someone so absolutely petrified with the thought of being 'annoying' that she cannot proceed with her life.

no, she can't make an instagram - haven't you ever seen someone attention whoring so bad, you wanted them to die alone? no? ah, well. what if you thought they deserved to die for the sin of wanting attention? - she has an entire mind palace about it and screams like a broken speaker and all her friends are like 'shit! sorry! won't ask again. we cool?' and shes like 'oh yeah. my bad' and that WORKS, MAN, FOR SOME REASON.

it's nijika. nijika is the key. nijika's the reason kessoku exists. she's so fucking reasonable and normal and responsible and caring and kind. she goes, "excellent slapstick, chums. i shan't blame you all for being Such Big Lesbians All The Time, because i love you for it, but perhaps let's get out of the direct line of public sight, where harmful misunderstandings can occur, and wrap things up as cleanly as we can? no need for shame or angst; i don't need those apologies! ayamaru ga iranai! (would she yoko kanno/maaya sakamoto? huh. not very roccku...) she has her priorities straight.

we know who raised her, so nijika-chan is nijika-chan, but it's silly to pretend there'd be no influence. 'you're suddenly my only family and it's my responsibility to step up and Protect and Raise you right' is a hell of a drug. (seika i starts crying ALSO OWE YOU MY LIFE)

4 hot anime woman - they are free to obsess over without being a lil freak, so that's nice. okay maybe scratch the freak part ive been typing this for way too long for that qualification anymor

5 WHAT DO THOSE SHARK TEETH DO FOR REAL

6 "shinjuku, i LOVE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!" if not the point i fell in love with her, the point i definitely fell more in love with her

[allycat75]

We see you and your handlers, Boston Dumb Fuck (probably more your handlers).

We have been noticing anons coming to various blogs with a couple of sets of storylines- either "what type of girl/woman would you be happy for Chris to be with?" and "I think he is an awful person and the worst actor in the world and he ruined Steve Rogers".

I am not one for conspiracy theories, but I have been here long enough to notice patterns. We just saw it with the anons asking "what would it take to believe it isn't PR". When the consensus was more organic sightings, we got the photoshopped GG party pics and mentions (by the way, I can't remember the blog, but thanks for finding the 2020 pre-Golden Globe party pics- blue blazer, rust turtleneck- which are clearly the original images, at least for you BDF, and probably why Vogue took it down). And of course we got the oh so romantic group date, with Gully overacting to highten the importance, all leading up to the "natural" double chicken peck with the mouth wipe dismount. I think we are still waiting on the score from the Russian judge, but you have strong odds to medal in the Pathetic Olympic Games. However, you will not be allowed at Whole Foods because scientific analysis came back and it was determined you are too manufactured and modified to be considered organic.

So now to the new intell gathering. One is seemingly to gauge how far gone we are as a fandom, perhaps? Maybe would we even welcome you back as Captain America? General feedback is that there is talent in you, BDF (not for the wifey, she is hopeless) but here is an odd concept- maybe you need to work at it, instead of planning and executing these stupid stunts that make you look like a fucking joke. Have some humility that you are not magnificent and take some acting classes, and probably engage in some intense therapy because whatever is blocking you in your personal life is blocking you in your professional life. And remember, Sam Wilson/Anthony Mackie is Captain America. Whether he succeeds or fails, you don't need to come back and look like the White Savior. Also, it would just be sad, like the guy who keeps visiting his high school long after graduating (and we all know why that isn't a good look for you, either).

As for whether another 26 year old would look good on your arm, if only she weren't an arrogant, childish, manipulative, racist, antisemetic, fatshaming clout chaser, my question is why does it matter what we think? If you and your team are thinking of "recasting", don't! Just cancel the show! You are not a character. Your life is not a script that needs tweaking. You should never do this type of arrangement again-EVER!

And as for your next "real" relationship, that isn't for us to decide. What I will say is that you need to get your shit together and be good to yourself or you won't be good for anyone else. This situation exposed how damaged you are by agreeing to it in the first place, with so little guardrails, and caused even more damage by exposing how much of your personality and character was built on matchsticks. There is so much to repair and build back stronger before you should even think about a partner right now. But a little tip- once you are ready, it is no one's goddamn business but the two of yours what you do and how you make each other happy. Hold it precious and don't stop learning and growing.

And finally BDF, fire your entire team- agents, publicists, stylists,... Start with fresh ideas. Even if they have been kind to you and don't have ill-intent, they have gotten you into a rut that you desperately need to be forced out of. Especially if their only solution to get you more work as an actor is to see which Netflix Chick they can whore you out to, they do not have your best interests in mind.

Also, this is just another example of where the fandom has been used and abused for emotional manipulation and free labor, so keep that in mind as you begin to balance the karmic scales again. We haven't forgotten.

[darkmagyk]

Ask game: 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21

choose violence ask game (send me more pls!)

the character everyone gets wrong

Annabeth, Annabeth, Annabeth. In SO MANY ways. Right down to her name, where people decide randomly that Annabeth is a nickname for Anna Elizabeth.

But mostly it's the school thing. Annabeth is always going to be the smartest person in the room, but she would (literally) rather die then demean herself to prove it. She also has ADHD, Dyslexia, and missed grades 2-6. I don't know how you can read about her being unwilling to play the Sphinxes game and then think that she'd be a good sport about school? I don't necessarily think she'd do badly. She is 100% in the "smart enough to coast" category. But she's not going to study, she's not going to apply herself. And I suspect when she finds herself disagreeing, she's not going to be open to listening to most teachers. She'll talk back, she'll argue, she'll get detention. She reads books in greek, she probably doesn't have special affection for her school libraries full of books she can't read. Free yourself from the Hermione Industrial Complex and embrace smart girl characters who's only life goal isn't getting As on tests.

Other things, Annabeth did live in Virginia some as a child. But given that it was in Richmond, her father is from Boston, and they moved at least a little (in TLT her family lives in New York State), the idea that her upbringing would be particularly southern, or that she'd have a southern accent is silly.

Also, she thinks Percy is funny. She enjoys his company. They have a lot of similarities. And she knows he's not as smart at she is (no one is) but she doesn't think he's the dumbest person alive. She doesn't hate him. About 80% of all PJO Incorrect quotes can be summed up as Percy: says something dumb, Annabeth: You're an idiot, and I hate you. And that's just...not what's going on with them.

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

It's a sexual position they don't enjoy? Let us not confuse sexual positions with gender or rolls in power dynamics.

Now, if you want to discuss power dynamics, Annabeth is a sub and Percy is a dom. Because Annabeth has a long history of feeling unloved, unwanted, and abandoned and wants to feel desired. And Percy has been dismissed and untrusted and wants to feel competent and trustworthy.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Recently saw a post that said Frederick had fucked Athena. You know, Athena, the famously virgin goddess.

(The funniest part was that it was part of a very anti-Frederick post, and yet...by saying Athena, the goddess of wisdom, broke her millennia long, life defining desire to not sleep with men, to sleep with Frederick Chase, they were saying he was a giant Chad and extra extra special. And that Athena saw so much in him, loved him so much, she developed sexual feelings for him and was willing to throw away one of her defining characteristics for him. And that...that was kind of hilarious)

5. worst discord server and why

Um, the Taylor Swift one I joined to trade tips for my show is really pretty bad. Everyone is so mean and bitchy and, I say this as someone who is weird about how much I love Taylor Swift, Swifties are the worst.

Otherwise, I can't keep up with servers, or really any chat with more then like 3 people them. So I can't really tell if they are good or bad.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

See previous comments about Annabeth. But, also, Jesus Christ Frederick Chase. Who is super interesting, and also dealt a bad hand he then played badly. Dude is a Norse Legacy who fell in love with a Hellenic Goddess. He went out of town and his wife ran off his daughter while he was gone. He can see through the mist. He dive bombed a Titan to save said daughter. He's a Red Sox fan and has a daughter who's a Yankees fan. He managed to enchant Athena. Favorite minor character.

Also, everyone is wrong about Poseidon. He's an ass, he's a bad dad (Hades is the best big three dad. And possibly the best godly parents. And that's being graded on the scale that calculates that time he told Nico he wished he'd died and bianca hadn't. That's how bad everyone else is.) And Sally has moved on to bigger and better things.

Combining those two things: Fredthena > PoSally. Fredthena is more interesting, and during the canon of the stories, it's actually still interesting instead of Poseidon just being Sally's loser ex.

Other things: in fic, Luke is Annabeth's looser older brother, not abusive ex. Annabeth is the punk and Percy is the good boy, Jercy wants what Frankercy has.

13. worst blorboficiation

Connor Stoll. He's literally just half a character. And that's fine.

Also Octavian. Who is allowed to just be power mad.

Also...I love Nico a lot, but the way fandom acts about him is...so much.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Nico. I love Nico, I think he's an awesome character and have written multiple fics about him. But people are so weird about him. And there is an extent to which I get it. He's one of the first incidentally queer characters in middle grade literature (as opposed to a character who is gay in a book all about being gay). He's got the emo vibes we love. And he definitely went through it.

But everyone is kind of going through it. And yet, people will unironically make posts about how Percy promised to protect Bianca and then let her die when...When Bianca set off a monster and Percy literally was like "I have a plan to get rid of it" and then Bianca said "I'll do it" and Percy was like "No, I will" and then Bianca just did it anyway. That isn't on Percy. Similarly "Percy choked Nico, its inexcusable." You know, that time that Nico helped his father trap Percy in a room in the underworld with no ways out or windows or anything. Nico didn't know, and he felt bad and tried to make it right, but it wasn't unreasonable for Percy to be pissed and attack the dude who behaved like an enemy.

[adhd-merlin]

Merlin S1 rewatch: episode 4 🌼

4 episodes in, and our boys are already tripping all over themselves to die for each other. Insane.

I don't have many funny comments to make about this one. It's a solid episode.

Arthur is an incredibly brave and chivalrous knight, Merlin is an extremely powerful sorcerer, and Uther is an utter bastard. Characters effectively distilled to their essence.

random thoughts & comments

• For all that it's a silly family show, the sets and locations are so beautiful. Look at this!

• Nimueh is so gorgeous in her blue turban. I can't blame Merlin for the flirting.

• Her fake name is Cara (!). But spelled with a C. Caras/Karas are not to be trusted, I guess

• They were really going all in with the red & blue juxtaposition

• I love Arthur red studded jacket. Why did they deprive him of his fun little outfits in later seasons! He's even wearing jewellery!! Wtf is this necklace, btw

• Stupid question but how did Nimueh know Arthur would end up with the poisoned chalice?? She just put it in the box

• Well done Gaius for identifying the poison in 0.5 seconds. That's got to be some kind of record. Does he train for that? Does Camelot hold an annual speed poison-identification contest?

• Luckily Gaius’s book contains all the information needed to retrieve the flower required for the antidote – what it looks like, where to find it, what to expect when you get there. Top 10 restaurants in the area. It's all in there.

• I've missed Uther! He's a great character/antagonist. "I can't stand by and watch [Merlin] die." / "Then don't look." (!) Banger of a line. And Anthony is an amazing actor.

• After having watched the entire series, I feel like S1 Arthur comes across as more of a noble and good guy than in later seasons? I can't put my finger on why, exactly. Perhaps the way he stands up to Uther with no hesitation. I don’t know.

• I like that Arthur gets to defeat the Cockatrice all by himself. So often in the series it's just Merlin (literally) working his magic behind the scenes and Arthur taking all the credit, but in this episode he very much deserves to be called a hero.

• Speaking of which, the way Arthur just defeats that Cockatrice and then carries on like it was no big deal is kind of funny. (Like... he just threw a sword at it? And it died? Alright.)

• Nimueh is so bad at acting like an innocent damsel in distress. Definitely nothing at all sus about her situation. "Please help me, good sir! Why, yes, I do know where to find the flower you're after. Just follow me into this dark cave. No need to take your sword." Arthur are you dumb (don't answer that)

• Nimueh is like "it's not your destiny to die at my hand!" Mmkay if you know who's going to kill him what's this all for then 👀

• I LOVE Merlin guiding Arthur to safety with his magic. I've said it before but (ironically) there isn't enough magic in this series. I think this is perhaps the coolest act of magic we ever see Merlin perform. And even if the CGI is at times hilariously bad, this globe of light looks pretty cool. Quite powerful, both visually and symbolically (and also literally. Merlin’s not even conscious).

• Uther has done some truly fucked up things (both on screen and implied) but crushing the flower needed for the antidote is just so needlessly cruel that I still think of it as one of the worst things he's done.

• Gwen to the rescue <3 I know everyone goes on about how sweet and kind she is, but she can also be shrewd when the situation calls for it. She's good at thinking on her feet under pressure, and it's a trait that shows in other episodes.

• Arthur and Gwen cooperating to save Merlin – love to see it. (Arthur, that's your future wife! Look at him. He doesn't even know. He doesn’t know he'll turn into a complete simp for this woman.)

• Interesting that Gwen's first reaction to Gaius's "We might need to use magic to prepare the antidote" is "but we can't! it's forbidden!!" GIRL, THE BOY YOU FANCY YOURSELF IN LOVE WITH IS DYING. MAYBE CHILL. But I guess it says a lot about Uther's reign of terror that this was so unthinkable to her.

• If I remember right (and I might not), Gaius uses magic only 3 or 4 times in the entire series and always to save Merlin's life (or to save Alice, once). It's a fairly consistent trait throughout the series that he's actually quite reluctant to use magic (whether because he's vowed not to, or because it brings up unwanted memories. Or both). It's always a last resort. I know no one cares, I just find it interesting.

• GWEN AND MERLIN'S KISS! I wonder how Arthur would have reacted at finding out that Merlin kissed Gwen first. WE WERE DEPRIVED WE WERE ROBBED

• Why didn't Uther question the fact that Merlin survived?? First he's s all intent on letting him die to teach Arthur a lesson, then he goes "haha, well done son, you were right to defy me" (??) Did he find out about Gwen and Arthur’s subterfuge to get the flower to Gaius? He must have, I suppose, but he's remarkably chill about it (I'm surprised he didn't accuse Gaius of using sorcery to save Merlin)

• Something tells me we haven't seen the last of Nimueh yet. I don't know what. Just a feeling.

[rappaccini]

10, 16, 17, 18!

(from this)

again, you didn't specify! i'm going with spider-gwen again!

10. worst part of fanon

gwiles shippers. it's always gwiles! what can i say! i have an eight-year-long hatred of this ship and it's only gotten deeper with time.

... or like. the perception of gwiles is the problem. the ship has potential, but only in a very specific context. if the fandom didn't treat the ship like the second coming of christ and acknowledged that this is a fundamentally shallow romance that will rapidly turn toxic if they don't quickly break up, then we could be cooking. if they embraced it, i'd be slurping up that shit. let’s talk about how it makes perfect sense for gwen to start out dating a straight boy and miles to start dating a white girl at the start of their arcs and how they can only be together if they’re repressing their true selves for approval and they enable this quality in each other. let’s talk about how they can either be each others awkward first romance or the Worst relapse into their character flaws ever. i want to watch the car crash and sink into the quicksand with the wheels still spinning as the people inside slowly suffocate after refusing to get out because they keep dragging each other back into their seats, telling each other they're actually still on the road. do you see it? do you see what we could have? but apparently not i guess.

and it's like. so easy to hate them too. wanting something different out of a ship is fine. but on top of choosing the Dumb Option, the gwiles shippers went with harassment, bigotry, clownery, pseudoactivism, contempt for the story and gwen as an individual, a total lack of reading comprehension, smugness about how Their Movie gave them Their Ship and no one can criticize it or want something different, and the unexplainable persecution complex they have even though they're the juggernaut ship in either character's fandom, have a beautiful-looking critically-acclaimed successful movie considered the best canon has to offer endorsing it, and are probably getting an endgame in the third. it is the Fucking Worst. and time and canonization have only made them dumber and more annoying. i cannot escape these people because they have no boundaries and can’t read the room and they won't. shut. up. even comics spider-gwen spaces are just overrun with these bitches now. try and talk about any version of gwen in any context and in 0.5 seconds some movie-only fan will swoop in going '~buh-buh-but what about miles!~"

buh-buh-but what about miles. why is this conversation suddenly about him. why is the spiderverse the only thing you think exists or matters. okay. you want to talk about the spiderverse movies? i hope gwen finds miles tied to that punching bag in btsv, thinks about it for a sec, and then says "you know what, never mind" and just leaves him to glitch to death and goes home. i hope she tells him "i fucked hobie and it was great and i never thought about you once while i was doing it because it would have killed the mood" before she leaves. i hope she sees earth-8's little gwilesbabies, and gwen-8 drives her directly to the hospital to get sterilized, and they hold hands looking into the camera saying "thank god they'll never be born" as gwen-8 dissolves into paradox dust. i hope she kills jeff in front of miles. i hope she joins the spot and helps him nuke earth 1610 and does a little pirouette on the ashes knowing she'll never have to deal with this shit again. i hope she keeps his hoodie as a trophy. is that enough spiderverse for you?

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

surprisingly not gwiles for once. i get that beautiful animation, great performances, a pretty pink filter, a licensed soundtrack and a genuinely solid and efficiently-paced romance arc sucked people in, because atsv exists to make you ship gwiles and it succeeded at what it set out to do. i get the shallow meta reading of gwen being 'what if gwen falls for spider-man 2 instead of spider-man 1, and this time it ends well, and she can come be with him forever' is appealing to people who have no idea what gwen's arc actually is. i get that gwen and miles look cute together. i get that the concept of two straight spider-people being a couple is appealing. i get that they have that diet cloak and dagger / accessible nonthreatening swirl ship aesthetic that makes people feel all warm and fuzzy for not reacting like it's 1964. i hate it. but i get it. the reason it’s so popular is because it’s so sugary and easy to swallow.

and i get why people like gwenjay. generic white yuri is even more popular, the concept of gwen and mary jane becoming a couple in a world without peter is fun, and there's a decade of legitimate buildup to this ship that only the most delusional gwiles shippers can ignore. it's diet diet harlivy and diet harlivy is already immensely popular. and god knows it's not exactly unheard of for people to get rid of the black girl in the love triangle in favor of the white one. so yeah. i get it.

i do not fucking get why people ignore ghostgoblin. like. putting aside the incredible meta and emotional arc that they already have... harry is a handsome troubled rich straight white boy who's been pining after his best friend for years but never oversteps his boundaries, who has a dark and mysterious past, who went to war and has daddy issues, who gwen fixes with her love after playing out a childhood-friends-to-doomed-first-romance-to-enemies-to-lovers arc. he pays for everything, is a constant source of unconditional emotional support and would die for her. and it's canon. it actually happened. whats not clicking. is it the hairline?

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

fic and art of earth-65a and all its characters. not just gwen and the mary janes. everyone else: harry. the lannister twin storm siblings with sue being this worlds dr doom. the jackal. the evil kingpin matt murdock. bitter supervillain cindy moon and genderbent hitman jess drew. samurai logan and his kitty-pryde-x23 hybrid daughter. corrupt cop punisher. felicia hardy and the black cats. hobie brown and the yancy street gang. jean dewolffe and george stacy. the doc ock who's a schlubby little villain of the week and his hot and far more competent evil son. evil hulk working for black widow. genderbent sam wilson captain america and her ambiguously trans male teenage clone. mayor j jonah jameson and his werewolf drug dealer son. even peter-65-- the incel villain, not the whitewashed atsv version. earth-65a is absolutely incredible. so many fantastic reinterpretations of familiar characters. and it gets paid such dust.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

alright other than ghostgoblin and earth-65 itself... ghostpunk. you guys want gwen to date a queer black boy? hobie's right there. you want her to date a goofy boy who makes her smile and helps her through her feelings? hobie. you want her to have an interdimensional connection with a boy who in most universes she has no relationship with, but in the few that she does, every time they interact they change each other for the better, and they've been slowly getting better together for decades? hobie. you want gwen to kiss the prowler? hobie.

this is the spider-man gwen has great chemistry, a sincere emotional bond, a deep meta connection, common interests, and no shitty power dynamic with. she even technically came out of the closet to him (and he's the first person she's done it to, since the mary janes and jess seem to already know) and his response was 'dope. gonna try to set her up with my friend.' that question of can gwen ever fall in love with a spider-man in a way that ends well has actually been answered, and hobie's the guy. on every possible level. the bar might be in hell but he flew over it everywhere. even in the movie designed to make you ship gwiles instead, he’s the one with the deepest connection to her, who she’s the most comfortable with, who does the most to help her. and nobody sees it. miles and peter are cosmically bad for gwen, hobie is the exact inverse. he's so good for her that just five minutes in the same room makes their stories better for the duration of that interaction. wake up people!!!

[basicallyjaywalker]

The stupidest thing ever in Ninjago:

The Love Triangle™

I feel the opinion that the love triangle in Ninjago is one of the worst subplots is not only popular but very correct. heck, even ten year old rook who loved drama and romance hated it because it felt fundamentally *wrong*

And I mean there's the obvious point: it wasn't necessary. We did not need a love triangle we had Jaya and things were fine. I actually think the love triangle fundamentally screwed up the otherwise goofy wholesome dynamic Jaya had and showcases some of the worst flaws in how Nya is written

But we did have it and I have a lot of thoughts about it so in this rant-masquerading-as-an-essay we will discuss

The timeline of the love triangle and Jaya generally

Why it's unnecessary, out of character, and generally pretty dumb as a recurring plot

Why Nya was the least wrong of everyone involved in it and also done the most dirty by it

Strap in because this is gonna be a very angry ride

To Recap…

Jaya was initially hinted at in the pilots with a line that was very uncomfy

" You have a sister? Is she hot?" *Gets elbowed for weird teenage boy crimes*

Thanks, I hate it, but Jay seems to be less creepy when the series actually starts and he has his clear crush on Nya. The crush even seems to be reciprocated and they appear to be unofficially official in S1 and S2, including Jay LOSING HIS MARBLES when Nya is captured and Cole makes an accidental pun

And then we hit S3 and I want to commit crimes.

In episode 1 of S3 there is an exchange wherein Nya is talking about how none of her male students listen to her and

Jay: Heyyy Ms. Nya, I saved you a pudding cup!

Nya: what did we talk about?

Jay: Oh right! Boundaries!

This exchange seems to imply that Jay and Nya are on a break, broken up, or possibly just not together in the first place and I misread things and now that they're older Jays teenage boy awkwardness is less endearing and more just creepy.

In any case, we can draw that Nya is trying to gain more independence, and why wouldn't she? Her life from the start of this series has been defined by either a) her brother or b) Jays affection for her. Even when she was Samurai X her main relationships were annoying the ninja or sharing the secret with Kai and hiding it from Jay. Keep this in mind for later.

So later they go to tour Borg Industries, with the guys visiting Mr. Borg himself and Nya staying with the students. As they tour the invention floor they find *gasp* a machine run on flash! No literally I'm convinced this was some interns pet project Cyrus didn't have the heart to reject. A love machine to find your perfect match and, for fun, Nya steps onto it. All of the little girls giggle and talk about how it'll OBVIOUSLY show Mr. Jay!! And then it beeps and everyone looks horrified. Its. Cole? Wait wtf why Cole?

Prior to this the machine listed a lot of Nya's traits and it seems that it's matching them based on that? It's still odd. Anyways, it'll probably be fine because neither Nya nor Cole has shown any sign of attraction before, even in this episode, and it would make no sense for Nya to suddenly develop a crush based on what a stupid machine says-- oh that's exactly what she does? Well.

Okay sure MAYBE Nya harbored affection for Cole before this. Or maybe the machine makes her realize how much they have in common and that's why. Surely if Cole shared similar thoughts he'd have shown them naturally, since he wasn't part of this whole machine thing as demonstrated in the sudden cut-- oh no he starts making moves and reciprocating out of fucking nowhere? Well.

And then Jay finds out and sure this man has a lot of insecurities and he's bound to be a little jealous but I'm sure since hes a grown adult with a least a little more maturity than when he was a teenager he won't react by beating his best friend to a bloody pulp-- oh ffs. Well.

I will get more into the characterization of everyone later but after this initial fight things do not get better. Jay and Cole are constantly hostile to each other in this season and it continues up until Skybound which was pretty good, actually, and I just wanted to punch Jay in the face for a. Portion. Which solidified Jaya after a healthy dose of trauma bonding! And from what I understand they live happily ever after until Seabound ripped all of our hearts out and turned them to fine mist but I haven't seen past Hands of Time so it doesn't matter

Now with that out of the way, let's get into

Why this entire thing was bullshit.

It was unnecessary

No but fr why did they write this in???? The main reason I can think of is it adds a conflict but here's the thing: if they wanted to develop Jaya, give them conflict and make them stronger as a couple they ALREADY HAD A STARTING POINT. Harken back to the pudding cup interaction earlier. There you go! Nya is tired of her life being defined by the men around her. She wants a break to be able to find herself and be independent again. Jay is insecure and worried this means she doesn't love him and overcompensates trying to "win her back." It offers opportunities for both comedy (Jay finding more and more elaborate ways to try and impress her while everyone else tries to break through to him that he's nuts) and actual serious lessons about relationships (Nya telling him that while she still loves him and maybe one day they can have a future, she needs space and the opportunity to find herself, and maybe he can take the time to find himself too). It genuinely wouldn't change much of the dynamic they have from rebooted to Skybound, is not entirely annoying, and doesn't do either of them dirty in the character development department.

The only other reason I can think of other than extra drama is they wanted to introduce a new relationship dynamic, that of Cole and Nya. But 1. It's obvious from the start that they're not endgame so it's pointless to explore them, it's just for drama. And 2. we already had Pixane this season introduced in the same episode and also know as The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Ninjago. So again, I reiterate that the love triangle was entirely unnecessary because of you wanted a new ship you had Pixane and if you wanted Jaya conflict you could just make it internal.

Everyone is written like me doing a Degrassi AU of this show

Let's start with Nya.

Nya is commonly characterized in the show as an independent, self-confident young woman who refuses to be in a boy's club. But don't take my word for it, because when I mentioned the machine that catalyzed this whole thing listed off details about her, that is exactly what it said. And I don't disagree with it, which is why it feels even stupider that in this whole thing, Nya is just sort of a bystander. Like, let's go through the OOC things she does throughout this plot

-listens to the machine at all

Nya comes across as the type of person who would not trust a simple machine with a dumb name (Perfect Match like really???) to decide her fate unless SHE made it. So for her to not only go along with using this thing with no reluctance, but also just DEVELOP FEELINGS for Cole out of the blue based on it?? Feels so out of character for her!! If anything it would feel more in character for her to get on the machine reluctantly after the girls beg her too, see it's Cole, laugh it off publicly ("haha, Cole? Must be broken") but then worry about it in private or just be unfazed. Nya's independence and desire to be defined by her own actions instead of her brother and his friends' contradicts this action because it just. Doesn't seem in character. IDK this as the catalyst just makes me nuts because of reasons I will get into when talking more about Nya later

-her affections towards cole

I already sort of covered this so I'll just reiterate. Prior to this, there were no clear indications that Nya liked Cole romantically. The machine seems to have planted the idea in her and she ran with it. We've discussed why that's OOC for her. Moving on.

-how she proceeds to act in the dynamic

She doesn't. This is more just bad writing and less her being OOC but it's still OOC that the most agency she gets is yelling at Jay and Cole for fighting at the junkyard and picking which wire to cut which amounted to nothing anyways grrrr--

Sorry that's another scene that makes me mad because it's very dumb. Anyways.

Nya literally feels like a bystander in this whole thing. Her general vibe seems to be. Annoyance with the whole thing. Which I get I'm annoyed too but that only sticks around for S3 and after? It's purely focused on Jay and Cole's conflict. Hell when they have a whole "she's yours you can have her" scene in S4 (which means nothing because it's still going in S5 and S6) SHES NOT EVEN PRESENT. It's just them talking about her like she's an object which feels OOC for both of them too.

I'm going to get more into this when I just talk about Nya so we're going to move on for now

To Cole. What the fuck my guy?

-developing feelings for nya

Never shown to have this before. Doesn't even have a machine to blame. It actually almost feels like he did it to spite Jay. Moving on.

-the fact that it just keeps going

Again Cole has NO reason or motivation or skin in this game? Like it's so weird that he just keeps fighting with Jay over it and is just as passionate about it. It feels like he should be more confused about where he stands on this. Maybe he likes Nya? He never considered it before but maybe he does. But also Jay is his friend and he knows Jay likes Nya too. It's so weird that he literally Mr. Steal Yo Girl's this thing OR just isn't listening to Nya when she obviously seems unsure about her relationship status

Cole's was short because his problems are very surface. He just is here for the plot to work because you can't have Kai do it, that's her brother, and you can't have Zane do it because he has a cool new android gf, and you can't have Lloyd do it bc that's his found family sister. But it just feels OOC the entire time.

Now for the best. Jay. Oh my beloved Jay.

Now this whole thing is semi in character for him. He's super insecure and has a huge crush on Nya, so him being a little upset at Cole and her possibly being an item makes more sense. What doesn't make sense is

-HOW NUTTER BUTTER HIS REACTIONS ARE + HOW PUSHY HE IS

Throughout the seasons this stupid ass plot occurs in, Jay's teenage boy crush on Nya reaches a level that makes me openly and violently cringe as someone who not only loves Jay, but really likes Jaya. First, there's his first reaction to finding out. It makes sense that he's a little upset, maybe hurt, at finding out that apparently Cole is Nya's perfect match, but to then violently take that out on Cole and become weirdly possessive of Nya feels like the writers took his sincere insecurities and cranked them up to crazy levels. Jay is absolutely insecure, don't get me wrong. He definitely seems to understand that he's the clown and coward of the team, and that's part of his arc in Skybound which was pretty good, actually and that's why. But his insecurities have always been portrayed as inward before this. He retreats in on himself and gets anxious, not violent. Take S1 for example, during Once Bitten, Twice Shy (I believe that's the episode) when during his date with Nya he continuously worries about screwing up and runs away to deal with it. He never takes it out on anyone else. He can be physical when he's anxious, iirc he shook someone during a freak out when the Devourer was released, but that was more him just being Extra and not being mad at that person specifically. The only other time his anxieties caused him to lose his shit like this--and caused him to be violent towards Cole over nya, coincidentally--was when Nya was literally captured by Garmadon and the Overlord in S2 after a heated battle was lost and Cole made a very poor word choice, and he stopped almost immediately when Wu intervened because he realized that it wasn't an appropriate reaction. Jay is not a violent person. He's an anxious one. Him attacking Cole over a comment he OVERHEARD from Pixal with no prior build up makes NO SENSE to me.

Additionally in future seasons he becomes weirdly possessive/obsessed w Nya. Again, he was always shown as having a borderline desperate crush on her, but he always kept his awkwardness to a minimum both around her and in private. I mean, take S1 again for example, where he wears cologne to smell good and impress her (well, it was perfume and gave her an allergic reaction, thanks guys, but regardless) as opposed to S6 where he is LITERALLY the pushiest mfer alive. Constantly not listening to her and violating her clearly stated boundaries (one of my least favorite parts of Skybound. I have a lot of feelings about that season and need to rewatch it) goes against his character again!! And yes, the argument can be made that that was because he was trying to force the fate he saw in Possession, but I still think it's OOC for him to become as pushy and creepy as he was. Again, Jay is absolutely an insecure dumbass who catastrophizes and is hopelessly crushing on this woman who is definitely out of his league. however his going so far into the creep zone long after the awkward teenage boy phase feels like the writers, again, took his flaws and just cranked them up for drama

Sorry I've harped on this for so long. It will not get better when I go in depth about how Nya was done dirty in this plot.

Generally, this was a stupid plot

Aside from being unnecessary, aside from being OOC for all involved... The love triangle is just Stupid. Let's look at the actual affects it had for the 4 seasons it occurred.

Rebooted

Jay and Cole have one serious fight and there's one serious scene where Nya has to "choose" that we don't see the outcome of and is literally never elaborated on again.

After that it's jokes.

Tournament of Elements

Cole and Jay don't wanna rejoin forces because they hate each other because of Nya. They have one serious fight in which Cole is like "she's yours" (not how that fucking works). Nya has literally no say the entire time.

Possession

Some light Nya x Cole scenes after Cole becomes a ghost. Jay sees him and Nya together in the glass. Can't remember any serious fights

Skybound

Literally the driving factor of the season.

Notice a pattern? Aside from Skybound, the love triangle serves little purpose other than being a driver for Jay and Cole conflict. Nya has little to no agency, not even being present for the conflicts in ToE. Which brings me to my final point and the driving factor behind why I wrote this whole thing to begin with

Nya was robbed.

I could again write an entire essay about how the Ninjago writers flip flop on Nya all the time, but for now I'll contain it in this essay.

One of my biggest gripes about the writing of this show is how they flip flop constantly between Nya being a character used for the boys development and being an independent character who looks after herself. The love triangle is a prime example of this.

Nya is an independent woman who listens to a random machine when she's trying to define herself apart from a relationship. Nya is a self-confident woman who doesn't get a say when the other two decide who can have her. Nya repeatedly and consistently denies Jay's advances in Skybound, only to make a dramatic turn at the end and choose him.

You see what I mean? It's infuriating. Nya is constantly given lip service as a strong woman, but when the time comes the writers will gladly toss her aside in favor of developing the men in her life. It's annoying, it's aggravating, and it's fully on display in this subplot, wherein she's given little agency and acts like a prop for the writers to use. Jay wins the girl, but why was the girl "winnable" in the first place? Why wasn't she given the space to actually have moments aside from "gasp, she's holding his hand!" to really explore her feelings on camera? Why does her life continue to be defined by her relationships with her brother, his friends, and her boyfriend?

So....

The Love Triangle fucking sucked. It sucked so bad I'm almost convinced it was worse than bringing back Garmadon. It sucked because it was pointless, with even a 9 year old able to see where it would end. It sucked because it took two seasons of characterization for three different characters and threw it out the window. It sucked because it was barely important to any development other than Jay's, and it required making him worse than he is to work. It sucked because it represents a cornerstone in a larger problem surrounding how Nya is treated in the series.

It sucked so bad I spent almost a week writing a 40 paragraph essay/rant about how much I hate it.

[bartohenchmanb]

Going from Doflamingo as a villain to Big Mom is probably the biggest flip this show has ever done for me. Doflamingo went from the most extreme privilege in the world to its complete opposite as a tiny child, and it fucked him up. Then Trebol and the others showed up and put him back on a pedestal to fulfill his every evil whim. I still maintain he’s dumb as fuck and irredeemably evil, but even with knowing what he was capable of as a celestial dragon, he did not deserve the hell he went through. No one deserves that. But there was so much depth to his character because of the life he lead. And even with how evil he is, there is still a part of him that I sympathize with.

Big Mom was a selfish fucking child in her youth, and she’s a selfish fucking child as an old lady. Because of her size and natural strength, she was denied nothing that she wanted. Even when her actions caused her to hurt other people, she was called a good girl because she was “just trying to help.” Because she was never scolded and her behavior was never reprimanded, she never learned how to actually be kind. Yes, she was also abused, in a pretty fucked up way that people just abandoned her without ever explaining why or lying to her about it. Instead of ever making her face the consequences of her own actions, they instead made her the victim of bad people. In her mind, they didn’t abandon her because of her actions, they did it because they were mean.

Now as an adult, she’s still the same exact entitled child! She hasn’t grown up or matured at all, everything is about her. But she still maintains this idea in her head that she’s good. She’s built a land where “everybody can live side by side,” but she’s done nothing to actually create a peaceful coexistence, because she never lost her own prejudices. She casually throws out slurs and insults at anyone who’s a little different, keeps a fucking collection of living creatures like a museum display, so all the people who are different are never viewed as the same and their abuse continues. But they can’t ever leave once they’ve come here because she has so many abandonment issues she will literally kill you if you try to leave. But the worst of it is her hunger pangs. Early on in the arc it’s implied she doesn’t have control of herself during her hunger pangs, which is how she ended up murdering her own son. But then during her 8 hour attack, she has a full conversation with Jimbei where she talks about Perospero and his lie and you realize, no, she was in control during her hunger pangs. So all of the things she did, even back at Elbaf, she knew what she was doing, but she’s so spoiled she literally murders anyone she wants during a fucking temper tantrum because she wants a fucking snack! She knew what she was doing, which makes everything even worse, and makes me fucking hate Mother Carmel for being such a fuckwit. She deserved to be eaten.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

7/9/10/12/19/20/23

Hit me :3

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Itachi and Minato.

Just… *sigh* i’m so sick of ‘they’re perfect and can beat everyone’

worst part of canon

Sasuke’s story because he never gets some actual closure. I would have loved it if they had just given him something instead of the Massacure just being dropped cuz ‘itachi asked Naruto to keep it a secret’

worst part of fanon

The part of Fanon that wants to paint Kakashi as this big perv who’s shamed by everyone around him as being this big ol perv with no idea how to act normal.

Oh, also the part of Fanon that make’s Sakura perfect at everything and better than everyone else. I can and will fight someone, cut it out. Or at least don’t try to force it down other people’s throats as if it’s canon. I like my character’s imperfect and capable of getting their ass’ beat once in a while

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Ohhh this is hard cuz i am kind of unsure? Shizune. She’s not a hated character but she’s definitely not as loved as i think she should be.

Girl lead the entire medical division during the war and helped TWO hokage’s during their reigns. Plus she’s super close to Sakura and Sarada, having helped Sakura with raising Sarada while Sasuke was away.

She’s basically part of the family. The cool auntie.

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Hmmmm Yukio/Danzo? 😂😂😂 but i did that to myself gdi.

Ok, a little horrified i like Tobirama/Izuna because i don’t really like Tobirama but the thought of having them be Sakumo’s grandparents and Kakashi having no connection to the sharingan even though he’s related to an Uchiha is hilarious.

part of canon you found tedious or boring

It’s anime only but that whole thing with Kakashi training Kiba. Kakashi had more important things to do gdi.

But if that doesn’t count i’ll go with the dumb mission bee and Naruto got sent on. There had to be a better idea then sending them to fuck around determining animal’s gender’s. Also never needed naruto saying ‘if its born a boy it’s a boy’ or whatever it was he said that had been being trans ally #1. I prefer Naruto as trans and badass

ship you've unwillingly come around to

Yamagai might be the closest i have to an answer to this question. Usually if i don’t like a ship i stay not liking it

Another good option for this answer might be Kakashi/Obito 😭😭😭😂😂😂