#that on the album work as well as they do but also transitions like the america's suitehearts -> headfirst slide function ridiculously well

[lucyvsky]

i truly think fall out boy are the only band in the entire world who understand how to do song transitions on albums like they fucking get it

[snapscube]

I think a lot of people read dereconstruct as a trans journey, but when you talk about it you seem to mention religion, is it a mix of both? or leaning more one way than the other?

i don't really like talking about, or having other people talk about, my gender identity or transition unless i have something novel to say about it and initiate the conversation myself. you will rarely hear me bring it up myself, and you will also see me shut it down sometimes. this has been a sticking point for a while and it's a very necessary bit of control i have to keep over my personal narrative wherever i can because as my audience has grown the more people project things onto me or tell my story in a way i don't actually resonate with. my journey was very public at the onset out of necessity but at the same time i find myself wishing less people would offer up info in my stead because oftentimes it genuinely affects people's ability to discuss me with any more nuance than that and i can always tell the difference between someone who views me as like a person and someone who's primary understanding of me is "trans content creator". however, all this being said, it has been true for a very long time that music is the medium in which i am most open about these things because it is the way i often find the most novel and most meaningful ways to talk about my experiences without beating a dead horse or inviting limitation to my persona. i'm not really good at being a role model in that sense, but i do think i am pretty good at being an artist or at least that's where i strive to make the most impact, and i just don't find this stuff as personally interesting to talk about any other way anymore, at least not with strangers.

so anyway, all this to say: DeReconstruct does feature a heavy emphasis on my identity and the ways in which i've come into my own in that sense because it was produced at a time where i had a lot of newfound independence and was able to make strides in my own personal development like i'd never done before, and transition was a big part of that. but it was not the only part of that by a long shot. obviously whatever the album means to you as an individual, i'd never want to take that away or say it's wrong! but personally when i think of DeReconstruct or really any of my music i don't think of them as "trans stories". religion was a HUGE aspect of why i decided to make the EP in the first place, which is why Hypothesis, a song primarily about religious deconstruction, was the climax of that album. similarly, though Electrolysis is, in the most literal sense, a song about electrolysis as a treatment, it means a lot more to me in 2023 as a story about perseverance through any number of pains.

TL;DR, it is both and also more. i am a person with multitudes and DeReconstruct is made up of multitudes as well. as is my previous work, and as will my work be in the future.

[joesalw]

All of Taylor's albums were tailored to the most popular aesthetic at the time. She didn't make shit popular, she just adapted. Especially when she made the transition into pop music.

True. She's currently jumping fences with rep as well. Making it out to be a goth punk moment and using trendy words like 'female rage'. The album has the most romantic songs she's ever written. C'mon now. The whole record is electropop with some R&B elements thrown into the mix.

She portrays 'Lover' as her social justice warrior era. 'If I was a man, then I'd be the man'. Yeah, we've seen it Taylor. Miss 'me becoming a billionaire is good for the world because I'm a woman'. She makes herself out to be this 'feminist girl's girl' when in reality it couldn't be further from the truth. She's not a feminist and she doesn't want to be the woman that's advocating for women's rights and leads the path for the future generation of women. She wants to be the man at the top. Her motto is literally 'gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, greenhouse gases'.

Another thing is her queer allyship. She's mentioned it when and only when it was profitable to her. During her tour she hadn't said a thing when the number of states signed anti-trans bills and the state of Tennessee where she says she lives *according to her own documentary* banned drag. I don't think she said anything about the anti-abortion legislation either. Her activist era started and ended in 2019.

Don't get me started on her position regarding the BLM movement. She only posted something because her own fans started calling her out and then declared that she's 'ferociously anti-racist'. She positioned herself as an advocate *by herself* and then immediately dipped when it stopped being as profitable. If you don't want to be dragged for your silence about social and political crises, don't proclaim yourself as an activist. Simple as that.

I've also seen the video on Youtube about TS being a narcissist (someone posted it on your blog earlier I think). And the guy in the video brought up her guitar teacher. So I looked him up and found an article where he talks about his experience with the Swifts which he got sued for later. According to the man, Taylor's mother was interested in him teaching her daughter how to play country music and was just a stage mom in general. And TS says that she'd been begging her parents to allow her learn how to play guitar and that she's self-taught. She wants her success story to be a rags to riches so bad I can't even.

She's a woman with an extremely fragile ego where millions of people could be praising her and a single negative comment would set her off. She can't handle any form of criticism, break ups or inconveniences like a grown woman simply because she doesn't have enough emotional intelligence to do so. Her being surrounded by yes men also doesn't help the situation. If i were her, I'd rather invest in a good therapist rather than 2 PJs. She drowns herself in work and relationships so she doesn't have time to go inwards and sit with her thoughts.

I kinda feel bad for her, honestly. She's been in the industry since she was 15 and her success was almost immediate. She doesn't know what the world's like because she's been sheltered her whole life and then had other people do things for her. I don't think she has many real friends as well. By real I mean people who aren't afraid to tell you the truth and are able to call you out in your face. Instead she has a bunch of people who appease her afraid of pissing her off and ending up on her bad side and as a result her vanity grows and she completely loses any sort of perspective whether in her friendships, romantic relationships or maybe even her own family.

I also wonder what she thinks about her fandom pirating her concert film instead of paying to rent it. I sort of hope that her fans are starting to wake up to her conning schemes. I mean, you've already made a shit ton of money from the theatre release, why charging 20$ more to RENT IT?Not even buy it. Or is it another narrative about how 'no one can own my work but me'?

This woman sells well but her cultural impact is almost nonexistent. She hadn't done any good for the world causes or inspired several generations of performers like Michael Jackson has with his philanthropic endeavors and incredible performing skills. The artists like Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Justin Timberlake (bleh) and The Weeknd were hugely influenced by MJ. These artist create their own unique legacy and impact on their communities. Especially the ladies. Gaga's been an avid LGBT+ advocate since the beginning of her career and created a foundation that focuses on issues like self-confidence, well-being, anti-bullying, mentoring and career development. She also participated in anti HIV and AIDS campaigns, spoke against immigration laws in the US, contributed to 2011's earthquake and tsunami relief campaign in Japan. Beyoncé's a huge advocate for the black community and black women especially which always finds its way in her work and visual art in particular. She's been platforming black culture and history for her whole career (2016 Superbowl and Coachella performance are the brightest examples of black american culture and releasing her Lion King album to showcase African artists' excellence). She also has a foundation where she provides black youth scholarships, clean water for communities abroad and housing to families in need in her home state.

What exactly makes Taylor Swift's cultural impact? Thousands of tons CO2 emissions? Music labels putting a clause in the contract so the artists can't re-record their material for 10 years now instead of 5? Making several versions of the same CD or vinyl so the sales are bigger? Mind you, that's all excessive plastic and paper. Some countries and US states are banning gas stoves. Her position regarding artists being paid during the early days of streaming (when the platforms were launching with a free period tial) was right but no one really benefited from it but her. She was shitting on Apple Music, then they offered her money, filmed an ad and released her 1989 Tour DVD exclusively on their platform. She shat on Spotify, then when LWYMMD came out, she was all over their biggest playlists all of a sudden and recorded Spotify Singles later on. Spotify's always promoted her every release like a motherfucker shoving her in every corner of the platform. Especially for the past 3 years. She doesn't have any memorable outfits or unique style to be called a fashion icon either. She's not a trailblazer she thinks she is. She is only popular because a lot of people *mostly ww* who peaked in high school see themselves in her. She's average in everything she does, her writing topes are also the same (only now she started using compound or uncommonly used words to mask it) but she's extremely commercially successful so that those people can see themselves in her. She doesn't have unique music style or chameleon-like discography like Gaga, Bey, MJ, Madonna, Shakira, Kelly Clarkson, Miley Cyrus or Nelly Furtado. She doesn't have a unique singing voice like Bjork, David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Janis Joplin, MJ or Bob Dylan. She's no instrument prodigy either. And swifties say that 'Michael couldn't play any instruments'. Well, he was an exceptional beatboxer. She can strum 4 guitar chords and play basic piano, that's it. She doesn't have an outstanding dancing and/or vocal skill.

What is she gonna be remembered for? Her numerous relationships with famous men? While that might be misogynistic or sexist to some degree, she's the one who makes her relationships the centre of her music and public persona and brings them up even 10 years after they ended. Her public feuds with men and women that she can't get over years after? This woman is certainly can hold a grudge and is extremely vindictive. The leader of a parasocial cult that blindly defends her bigotry? I believe so. I don't think I've ever seen a fandom as toxic and as hive-minded as swifties. And again, it's Taylor's own creation. She's the one that constantly says 'look closely for the easter eggs' in her content making her fans theorize on every aspect of her life, or 'if you're very loyal I might invite you to MY HOUSE and you can listen to the new album early, we'll take pics and I'll bake you some cookies'. Of course they'll follow your any order. I'm glad I escaped.

Oof, I'll stop here. That's a very long one already

sorry hehe

.

[dearreader]

hello fellow members of the tortured poets department.

apologies for my absence from meeting, was being a little to tortured and not enough poet lately 😑.

but i would like to enter into evidence the songs for the days i missed. because it is late i might combine some songs together if they’re next to each other and if the idea for both over laps.

because of that this post will be analyzing fresh out the slammer and florida!!! but specifically how these songs start to explore more about the “american dream” theme that runs throughout the album. i’ve been waiting until these two songs to fully explore it as florida!!! is well… the most obvious place for me to start.

previous days: fortnight; THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT; my boy only breaks his favorite toys; down bad; so long, london; but daddy i love him

references to america are prevalent throughout the album. this does make perfect sense actually considering taylor had set up home base in london and even wrote songs mentioning certain spots (and even liking a boy from london). so taylor choosing to focus the next album on america and coming home after being away fits very well. taylor spent years away because she was afraid of people and moved to a different country to get away. but when she was left all alone and the relationship ended (so long, london) she had to go back home.

this is what we see in fresh out the slammer. the song feels more like a transition song, ie. moving from one location to the other. the song over all is not one of my favorites on the album as while it is nice i don’t feel like it adds as much depth. though i do think it adds more details to certain things touched on. specifically with taylor personifying london as her former partner transitions a bit to this song as she refers to him as a place and what that place did to her. it’s especially interesting to me seeing her refer to it as a prison at times considering in reputation there was also those motifs too but with fame and she felt more sheltered with her then partner. but now it is shown to be also caging her. she ran from one cage to another to protect herself, which is valid, but is now realizing that instead of seeing it as a safe haven.

the main part i want to focus on the song though is how she refers to her next partner viewing her as “the girl of his american dreams”. this is an interesting line and totally not referencing the 1975 as it paints a very distinct picture. the phrase “the girl of his dreams” means the person he thinks would be the ideal partner. this is shown in the media though as negative or in a overwhelming personification with the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype. so already the phrase is on shakey ground, but there’s nothing wrong with saying a partner is “your dream” partner. it can be a compliment.

however, taylor specifically adding the “american dream” to the phrases changes it entirely. she’s now evoking the idea of the american dream that’s the pull yourself up by your boot straps and end up with a house, a car, a wife, and two kids idea. i’m not going to sit here and dissect THAT cause that’s a whole ass lecture. but taylor saying this man views her as “the girl of his american dreams” is saying that she is the ideal partner to settle down with and start a life with. to have a family and get married. which is also noted on many other tracks as something a partner did to her but never followed through. which is ironically what the american dream is. it’s a lie sold to people to keep working and they can hope for a better future. but in actuality they have to keep working and climbing relentlessly to achieve it and never can reach it.

so by taylor saying she’s the girl of his american dreams, he’s selling her a false narrative that she desperately wants and craves but he has no intention on following through and will just use her until he’s done. it’s a very interesting word choice i really like.

and how that idea connects to florida!!!

florida is probably one of the most notoriously known states in america next texas and new york. it’s a hub for weird stories and hurricanes and just all together a chaotic place. but people still love it. in fact, it’s also another part of the american dream as the idea for a lot of people is to retire in florida after they lived their life. which is why i wanted to combine these two as they flow into each other.

taylor uses florida as both a place physically but also metaphorically (and technically as a person if we view it as the “miracle move in drug”) which ties into her using london as both a place and person. florida is the “state” your in post break up and leans into the chaoticness of the actual state. she uses the wildness that everyone has of florida to describe a post break up high.

there are MANY things she uses to describe this. but let’s first look at her referring to her partner as a “hurricane with her name/i got drunk and i dared it to wash me away/barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine”. hurricanes aren’t a stranger to florida and have done extensive damage to the state. but taylor refers to it as a storm with her name, ie. he was made just for her and in this state he’s out to destroy her because of how much damage their relationship did to her overall. but she acknowledges that she did tempt it, she did let it get this far and she had to drink her way through while hiding just to make it out alive.

but this florida, no one asks for questions about why you hate your ex because no one else in this state cares. in fact, they’ll help you hide the body if you help them. so taylor can throw her former lovers who she considered her home town (a reference to london boy “home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives”/“but god i love the english”) but he never considered her more than a passing guest or her feeling like she was arrested there, because of her love for him and wanting to make it work or him keeping her locked away is open to interpretation. so she’s pissed, she’s running free and wanting to escape it all and is in the one state no one cares because they’re going through hell to and can’t bother to care about you.

in this case taylor is referring to florida as the clarity of post break up and running wild and free. which also does tie back into my previous days post about but daddy i love him as that plays into the classic romance piece of a forbidden love. it’s a very quintessential american idea of trucks through fences and small town elders saying to stay away from the good girl. and taylor even introduces it in fortnight by refrencing florida and “another night lost in america”. she is actively introducing the listener on page one to the idea of her longing to run away from it all and have freedom, but freedom looks different there than in florida.

bdilh->florida!!! just screams the idea of american hopes and dreams and young love. it’s wild and loud and messy and destructive and doesn’t see the future. which then later gets wrapped up somewhat in i hate it here from the anthology tracks. because taylor saying “i’d say the 1830’s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid… nostalgia is a minds trick if i had been there i’d hate it” which can be her acknowledging that the idea this man sold to her and the freedom she fantasized about wasn’t what it actually was and hates it in hindsight.

this post is disjointed, and i apologize, but the idea of the american dream running through has been something i keep going back to on relistens and i wanted to introduce it to the community for discussion. thank you again for letting this be late.

[artemisandhersilverbow]

I'm still not over Taylor's Fortnight MV... to say it's my favorite visual work she's done would be an understatement. As with all things on this album, she did her research. Her incredible DP - Rodrigo Prieto - who has shot The Man, Cardigan, and Willow MVs. As well as, Brokeback Mountain, The Barbie Movie, Killer of the Flower Moon, etc.

There are so many ways to parse the story of the Fortnight video, but I will mostly focus on Taylor's use of mirroring to make some of the video's larger points.

I am a queer former film student so I wanna note that that's the bias I'll be writing from. If that disinterests you, no worries! This just may not be for you.

Love that we start with silent film era titles. One is black, one is white, perhaps a ying yang visual or simply representing the original album + the anthology. Could also be the light + dark of her two sides represented by Taylor and Post Malone.

The vertical alignment shift in the word Fortnight is interesting because the other time i noticed her doing this was in the closing poem for TTP with, "Some stars never align." Would be cute to have it like a nod to screenplay scene heading: INT. FORT - NIGHT

We start with Taylor, virtually still, but singing. She's handcuffed to an askew bed frame - sans mattress - with bars resembling a prison/cage.

The mirroring she's doing here is reminding us of "real life" Taylor's outfit at the 2024 Grammy's, but with the addition of white gauzy gloves + garter belt (like on tour), it reads more bridal, more bed sheet. That similar clock necklace is set to, best as I can tell, 9pm.

And she's got enough hairpins to... idk... make me spin out? Her make up evokes a little Clara Bow, Greta Garbo, legends of the silver screen, etc.

Taylor stops lip-syncing. Breaking the fourth wall, with direct eye contact, she's forced a "Forget Him" pill and unshackled from her bed prison. Unlike the next instance we get this match shot, it feels like she's telling the audience she knows we're watching and her look has a "this is what I'm forced to do" anger charged to it.

Also, the pill itself seems to break Taylor's reality from here on out. She "forgets him," but perhaps also becomes a different him herself.

She walks over, in her wacky funhouse of a prison room - skewed angles, upside down doors (those who enter from the left walk on the "ceiling" - to an actual mirror. But this mirror looks more like a one-way mirror. Meaning that the subject can see themselves, but so can others they can't see on the other side. Usually so the subject can be observed.

Still appropriate to break the fourth wall as though we are watching her in a way she can't return.

She wipes her face to reveal Post Malone's tattoos under the veneer of her prerfect facade. Once done, she utters the first "I want to kill her." She wants to "kill" Taylor TM?

I'll basically be going forward assuming that Post Malone is established in this mirror shot as a representation of Taylor, perhaps her True Taylor underneath the engineered perfection. This door/portal splits her in two on entry. From one white-clad figure to two black-clad ones. Kind of like the splitting of a prism.

Instead of exiting this upside down asylum, she goes deep into a department - perhaps the Tortured Poets kind. We get an awesome match cut/panning transition where Grammy dress referential Taylor morphs into a Victorian mourning dress. One very similar to the dresses on stage during Folklore during Eras (at the bottom of post). Perhaps also a nod to Emily Dickinson herself.

The way they design the set to make it so her asylum and office are connected feels like a not so subtle call out on how she feels about her chosen industry. Not quite a cheery take on the Lover House for ex. Time also becomes a little bendy, irrelevant when she does this portal walk.

When she enters she sits at a mirrored desk, morphing into Post Malone's silhouette. To the side we have faceless writers, also dressed in black older fashions, that seem to go on for infinity like a mirror trick.

Taylor sits down to start writing, Post Malone is already typing. They're both in black with embellished collars. We see that she has a top sheet with typed words, but under they're blank. Post has a pile next to him, along with his fountain pen, which perhaps are fully done b/c placement on the other side of him. Their desks are also arranged ever so slightly different. So Post-Taylor is a typing machine, Taylor needs to catch up...

But then Post Malone looks up to create this awesome mirrored match cut.

Taylor and Post-Taylor get to work, singing the chorus, camera cutting on their lines in mirror shots respectively.

We see a typewriter jam the same lines from the song, but specifically "I LOVE YOU." Granted, we can't be 100% sure whose typewriter it is, but we see Taylor type "Love You." Perhaps they're mirroring each other in even this task.

Eventually their stories starts leaking blue and orange/gold ether which prisms out to reveal "The Story of Us."

Really great shot of the infinity vanishing point effect from the unidentified crowd, how they're positioned makes them look like they're mirroring all of us watching/sharing our opinions.

This is where I'll stop for Part 1 because it's not ok how late this album has been keeping me up.

But a couple of things to start:

Taylor using very strong, very consistent mirroring techniques to create distinctions from narrator, character, and audience. Even the music is mirrored in the chorus with Post Malone's repetition.

By both wearing the face tattoos under a perfect exterior (the face we know her by), and immediately separating into two characters - one with her face/gender expression as we know it and Post-Taylor who now wears the face tattoos we just saw/is also sporting the face and gender expression we are familiar with him. It's Taylor TM the Brand vs Hidden (in plain sight) Identity Taylor.

Her typewriter emits an orange/golden glow from all of her repeated "I LOVE YOU'S," while his emits blue. Together they're creating the next story vignette: "The Story of Us."

One basic read for this is that Taylor could be owning her male POVs that come up in her songs (Folklore we're looking at you). Another read I have is that Taylor TM is writing the love song framework expected from her as an artist while Post-Taylor injects the devastation, anger, emotion, the heavy blues we often unearth from a song we originally thought was upbeat, romantic, unassuming. And considering these mirrored halves, I think that aligns with her own messages about her music, that people will always going looking for paternity tests - the publicized romance pulled from what we think we know about her. But perhaps the assumed truths of a song could be, and often are, driven by your gendered expectations - "Girl loves boy, sings about that." The hidden in plain sight Taylor subverts what the surface level shows.

The True Taylor is an unrecognizable author. And that writer is producing the meat of the work.

Additionally, I love that she's wearing a dress that feels taken off the Era's stage.

Folklore in particular was a really different writing era for her. She presented the characters and stories as fiction and all the sudden an unknown male collaborator — William Bowery — gets credited on it. I'd love if the message, in part, was hey I'm actually my own male writing partner. Regardless, her other half/POV was able to allow her to write truths so long as they remained unrecognizable.

But she's wearing the mourning dress, looking over at her hidden true half, looking over anxiously. And then begins to write. They're half the story that makes up the whole, one needing the other to tell the story they want to tell. Perhaps it's a call out to Folklore in particular as a solution to being limited by expectations of her signature diaristic-like songs' perspectives. Using it as a way to tell a version of the truth from a POV society or the powers that be in her life would accept it from — not Taylor TM as she is/who she's known to be.

More generally, the "male pov" and the male pronouns, just seem to be called irrelevant smoking guns in the game of knowing the unknowable - what her work, a lot of her work, is referencing specifically. These two writers, as presented, are still both Taylor. Them's the rules here. Ok, see you in PT. 2!

[seeingivy]

method acting asks!!!

first of all, thank you anon!!! you're so so kind - i'm so excited you're here in my little universe with me. I THINK I ACTUALLY SAID THIS TO SOMEONE BEFORE about francesca and work song by hozier

I think hozier has really raw and love songs that depict a very sheer devotion, which is something I think eren as a character generally possesses - which is why I think the hozier comparison is spot on. he would go through hell to hold her again, no grave will hold him down he WILL crawl back home to her

first things first, I LOVE YOU!!!!! y/n healing era makes my heart warm AND I totally agree regarding venice bitch. speaking of norman fucking rockwell (MY FAVORITE LANA ALBUM), i also think that she would write the song normal fucking rockwell about eren (back in the day, obv)

@itzmeme always spot on. chefs kiss songs from you, always.

ARGGGGGG ANON I COULD YAP FOR DAYS. I imagine edits about them are basically like the edits that people make about taylor/joe and joshua/olivia. the one that's been trending recently is the lyrics from wrecking ball that's like "I never meant to start a war, I just wanted you to let me in" lIKE PEOPLE WOULD MAKE THOSE OF THEM SO BAD.

I feel like after the documentary is released, people would also make edits of eren and y/n to that audio that transitions from midnight rain to daylight - the first clips being of like eren/hyla to eren and y/n - and you can visibly see that he's just so much happier with her.

also think that people made cunt edits of y/ns because I liked a boy performance and her look what you made me do. y/n also getting edits of her and clips of her w/ sukuna and eren to maneater like.

I love edits. you are amazing and I love your mind.

LIKE. LIKE ITS A NEED. I also think of them doing silver springs sometimes during their beef era....LIKE YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY FROM THE SOUND OF A WOMAN THAT LOVES YOU.

@najaemism HI!!!! hi, I love you. second, I leave little hints like people like this that are perceptive about this type of thing (and I have promises to reveal all my hints when the fic is well and over) BUT EEK MY HEART GETS SO WARM WHEN PEOPLE CATCH THEM. I literally think scott street is probably what she felt so bad during that era of the fic, like the nostalgia of losing eren and realizing like all of her childhood memories will be tainted with him now

LMFAOFJDIOSFJIODSF STFU. this is so funny LIKE HE'S SO CORNY HE WOULD

another ask about necklaces BUT REAL. I also think that on their car keys they remake lego figurines of each other so that they're always with each other whenever they aren't 😁

@astroswift HARD ON THE AGREE. i've got a moment on this chapter i've been itching to write since this bitch character got introduced. and my love, you are spot on. champagne problems, is in fact, in the method acting playlist (I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE PICK UP THE CRUMBS MY HEART GETS SO WARM)

@elliesbabygirl do it. I wrote a stupid fic about gojo to speak now by taylor swift and now i'm here. yolo swag.

I WAS AT GUTS TOUR LAST NIGHT. the second she crawled on the fucking moon it was all I could think about. and seeing the grudge live just killed me thinking about the awards show that I started crying (I am in general a concert crier I had already cried at that point but it was crazy) and seeing all american bitch and REDACTED that are involved in the story too EEK I WAS GOING CRAZY she's so hot im in love with her

random last tidbit:

here's some method acting spoilers with no context for the next chapter:

a double whammy of a slap and a punch to the face

what am I to you?

the sister to lady gaga's meat dress

l/n-jaegers

matching tattoos

WHATEVER THAT ALL MEANS!!!

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

No Kids**

This is a quick smutty one about husband/dad Harry finally having sex with Y/N, his wife, after a several month long drought.

Warnings: oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, talk of pregnancy, lactation.

WC: 3.1k

Check out the rest of my writing here:)

When Harry’s alarm went off at 6:30am you groaned softly before turning away from his body to allow him to either get out of bed or snooze it. You were accustomed to the former; Harry was very serious about sticking to his workout regimen and hardly ever missed a day at either the yoga studio, pilates bar, the pool, or a simple run around the neighborhood. In other words you were used to mornings alone now. 

It wasn’t as bad as it sounded. You quite liked this actually; stretching out on the bed and taking up as much space as you wanted (even if it was a king mattress), not feeling too hot with Harry’s furnace of a body around you, nor too cold because he’d sometimes kick off the covers when he felt too stuffy. And most importantly, for the next 15 or so minutes you would enjoy absolute and unbothered silence. The kids wouldn’t be un until at least 6:45 if they were right on schedule and you cherished that time alone, there didn’t seem to be very much of it in supply these days. So as you felt Harry’s weight roll away you smiled, getting ready to enjoy the best part of your day. His alarm stopped and next thing you knew he was rolling back towards you and pulling you back into his chest. It was strange to you, even more so as you felt him hard against your backside.

Marriage, kids, the white picket fence dream, it had its perks but it also had its downsides. Like your life wasn’t yours anymore and Harry’s wasn’t Harry’s anymore, your lives were devoted to your kids now and they took up a lot of your time. Harry was still as busy as ever. He assumed that after taking a nearly year long hiatus from the scene his demand would decrease and he could ease back into the limelight, but it appeared that the limelight had been eagerly awaiting his return. Music had a pretty basic year without his unapologetically himself sound in the mix of it all. Fashion was the same, there wasn’t someone out there who was both daring and confident enough to pull anything off. While he still didn’t have too much film under his belt, people were always trying to sign him onto their projects and well, you had seen a film or two that he’d turned down and you could picture just how much better the film would’ve been if he had accepted. 

Harry had started his hiatus on the 6 month of your second pregnancy. You had a 1 year old who you couldn’t manage alone from there on out. But as he neared month 10 of his hiatus he was so fucking restless and antsy that it was driving you insane. Yes, he was still very hands-on and helpful with the kids, but he was clearly distracted and you could tell that he was struggling to not go back to work. You didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t do both things, that was the point of the hiatus to help him transition into being a father of two, to help him figure out how to balance everything. So you talked about it and just a few weeks later he was back in the studio with his usual crew and had put an album together in a little less than three months. He’d be gone for days sometimes, you were used to that from before, but it was a little different this time because when he came back It wasn’t like you just locked yourselves away to make up for lost time like before. No, now when he came back it was to baby barf, poopy diapers, crying, mischievous 2 year old, and an exhausted you- there wasn’t time for them and it did create some distance. All of this to say that you and Harry hadn’t had sex in 6 months, maybe a little longer. So, feeling his hard-on rocking against your bum was unexpected. And while you would normally be thrilled, this was alone time, this was your 15 minutes of peace and the fact that he was taking that away from you was a bit disappointing.

“What are you doing?” You mumbled tiredly, “Shouldn’t you be off to work out?” You grumbled.

“What are you talking about?” he smiled, you could hear it in his voice as he responded.

“The kids’ll be up in like 10 minutes and I just need these couple of minutes to have a proper power nap, H.” you grumbled and he chuckled as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

“Baby, no kids today. They’re at your parents’ remember?” He asked lowly as he peeled the thin strap of your pajama top off of your shoulder and continued sponging kisses up and down from your shoulder to the base of your neck. Your eyes fluttered open as you recalled that yes, indeed there were no kids around today. You two had gone out the night before. Nothing crazy, Just dinner and a little underground indie show in Hollywood. Your parents agreed to have the kids until you guys came over for dinner the following day.

“Right.” You hummed, your mood changing almost immediately. He even felt your body relax more in his arms and he smiled.

“So?” He whispered near your ear suggestively, “Does my wife want t’fuck?” He asked as one of his hands slid down your center and rubbed your clit through your shorts. You whimpered softy as you got more and more aroused.

In moments Harry had you on your back and naked as he kissed up your thighs. He hadn’t gone down on you since…well you couldn’t remember, but it was at some point early on in your pregnancy. So feeling his hot breath fanning over you as he held your legs open was the ultimate form of foreplay. You were basically going to be done for when he licked your clit. And boy, he did not disappoint as his tongue and fingers played with all of your most sensitive spots. His fingers were curled deep inside of you, pulsing against your g-spot as his tongue flicked deliciously at your clit, you were seeing spots as your mouth parted in a silent cry. You were so close! You exhaled shakily and then pulled a pillow over your face as you felt your orgasm approaching.

Harry was pulling out all of the stops to make you feel good and he was frustrated that you weren’t responding how you usually would, but when he spared a glance up and saw you holding a pillow over your face it dawned on him that you forgot that you could be loud right now. He smiled and pulled his mouth away from your center and your high started to fizzle out and you removed the pillow to look down at him already glancing up at you from between your legs.

“No kids.” Harry reminded and you gigged quietly.

“Right. No kids.” You hummed happily as he started fucking you faster with his fingers.

“So I want to hear you, baby.” He urged, “Can you do that f’me, baby?” Harry asked and you nodded. As soon as he got your confirmation he got back to using his mouth on you and you let out a satisfied moan.

“Yes. Mmmfuck, that feels so good…” You sighed in pleasure as you heard the slurping and wet sounds of his mouth and fingers working up your orgasm quickly again. “Ohmygod, ohmygod!” Your slurred your words together as you felt the muscles in your stomach start to tense. You could feel your walls throbbing around his fingers and he groaned against your pussy as he felt it too, you were so close for him. He hadn’t made you come in ages and he just wanted to make you feel good again. Like he used to. “I-I’m coming!” You mewled as your back arched and hips bucked up as you planted your feet on the mattress. Harry moaned as he fucked your g-spot more intentionally as your cries got louder and louder and before he knew it you were very softly squirting into the palm of his hand. He was doing his best to follow the movement of your hips to ensure that he saw your orgasm through all the way and boy, did he. He didn’t even mean to make you come twice, but after removing his fingers from you he just use his mouth to clean you up a bit and ease you off of the intensity of your orgasm, but soon he was holding your thighs apart as they threatened to lock around his head and suffocate him against your swollen and messy pussy as you came for him once more.

You felt like your throat and chest were on fire as you struggled to breathe properly as the pleasure from your orgasm rippled through your body beautifully. The feeling giving you that little spark of energy you had been missing for a while now. Soon that feeling started becoming a bit much and you whimpered as you pushed Harry’s head away and he quickly pulled off of your clit and kissed your inner thighs, then your mons, then your lower stomach, and up your torso, sternum, neck and then jaw, and finally he was hovering over your lips wearing a victorious smile before he kissed you deeply for a few moments.

“God, I forgot how good you are at that.” You panted and he smirked, but that soon faded. “What?” You asked with concern.

“You shouldn’t forget how good it feels. I’m sorry.” He said lowly and you shook your head.

“Oh baby, it’s not your fault. Things are just different now.” You said and that didn’t seem to make him feel better.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean that we should neglect ourselves.” He said and you sighed.

“Well H, I don’t think we’re neglecting ourselves. I think we just indulge in different things now. Like my 15 minutes of undisturbed sleep after you leave and before the kids wake up.” You explained, “I don’t even know how many times I’ve caught you dozed off in your office…we've got other things going on now so we just need different things than before.” You reasoned, “And that doesn’t mean we don’t need these kinds of things, we just need other things more now.” You concluded.

“I get that but… I should appreciate you more and everything that you do.” He said quietly, “I need to do more to remind you that I love you and that I’m still interested in you in that way, you know? Make you feel like my girl, not just like my wife and mother of my children.” He said and you smiled.

“You’re sweet.” You hummed at his words.

“I’m serious. Baby, I’m still in love with you, I mean how could I not be?” He said and you blushed under his intense gaze and his beautiful words, “You’re absolute perfection. You know that? You look after me, you support me, you love me. You’ve made my dream life a reality. You gave me the two most beautiful babies planet earth has ever seen. You mean everything to me and I don’t want to make elaborate schemes like this just to show you that. I'm going to make an effort to show you every day,” He said and you cupped his face in your hands and kissed his lips.

“I don’t doubt you. Ever, H. I said yes to you. To us. To everything we could grow to be. I knew things would change and boy, have they changed.” You chuckled and he smiled and nodded, “Granted, we could both do a bit more to show each other our appreciation. But I just want you to know that I am still happy.” You assured him and he smiled, “I love you.”

“I love you.” He hummed happily, “Now, are you up for some sex?” He grinned.

“I never thought you'd ask!” you exclaimed and he chuckled. 

Everything was sweet and giggly, much like it had been before. Your intimacy was so special and as out of touch as you may have felt with each other, seconds before he slipped inside of you, your eyes met and an unspoken message was shared between them. It suddenly felt like no time had passed between you two at all, there wasn’t any time lost. There were no missed opportunities. You just led a different life now, but the overpowering love you had for each other still simmered beneath the surface of everything. Maybe it wasn’t expressed like this as often as it used to be, but it was certainly what fueled the fire of your marriage. It’s what kept you going and trying. It was the hearth of your relationship as soulmates. You smiled and nodded and he surged his hips forward and sunk inside of you.

“Oh fuuuck.” Harry moaned lowly and you just whimpered as he sank in as deep as he could go. It had been too fucking long, Harry was hoping he could last at least last 10 minutes and that was proving difficult as your walls adjusted to his intrusion. So soft and warm and snug around him. He exhaled sharply through his nose as his throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly. He knew what he needed to do to last a bit longer. He reached to the side of your head and dragged a pillow down. Without drawing out of you, he managed to raise your hips a bit as he knelt up and slid the pillow under. Your heart started pounding in nerves and excitement as he brought his body over yours again and kissed you.

“Baby, what you’re doing is dangerous.” You warned with a nervous chuckle and he shrugged.

“So?” He smirked.

“Baby, we said two. Only two.”

“I know.” He assured as he ground his hips into yours and your body tensed and his smirk only intensified as he watched the effect his body had on yours.

There was nothing wrong with this sex position - the coital alignment. In fact, it was perfect. Imagine getting stimulated in the deepest most delicious part of you all while your clit is being rubbed in perfect time to the internal movements. It was perfection, it was bliss, heaven on earth. But every time you’d had sex like this you’d ended up pregnant and when Harry even thought about trying for a baby it unleashed a part of him that made you desperate for him. For more of him, those times were so good that you were begging him to get you pregnant and well…wish came true. Both times. So yes, you were a bit wary of this position and what it could mean for you. As much as you loved your little girls, pregnancy was more lows than highs for you. So after your second little girl came you had both agreed that two was it. Harry was supposed to have a vasectomy, but he went back to work early and just continued to put it off, which didn’t matter before, seeing as you weren’t having sex, but now you were having sex and he was Fertile. With a capital F because each time he had successfully gotten you pregnant during your first attempts and that was scary.

“My period ended last week. If I get pregnant from this I’m gonna-”

“I’ll run out and get you a plan B later.” He assured and you let your head fall back onto your pillow as you laughed, “I promise, baby.” He assured and you sighed.

“OK.” You agreed and he grinned as he started to grind his hips into yours again. Your clit had already been sensitive from him going down on you so this stimulation had your stomach tightening up and your breath hitching in absolutely no time. His cock was rubbing and gently prodding at that spot that was making your vision blur with tears of pleasure. Suddenly you gasped as you felt your right boob start to ache. Fucking shit, it was past feeding time you thought to yourself. Harry was quick to notice the change of expression on your face.

“Am I hurting you?” He asked as he slowed down and you shook your head.

“No, baby. It’s just I’ve usually fed Daisy by now so I’m sore.” You explained and he nodded in understanding. He looked down at your breasts and saw that the right one was looking more firm and swollen than the other. The skin was quite taut as he could slightly see your veins under your skin, “I just need to pump for a bit and then we can keep-what’re you doing?!” You asked in shock as he leaned down to your breast.

“Helping.” He said simply as he very gently licked over your nipple and you whimpered pathetically at the feeling of having it touched erotically for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. He then started to speed up the movement of his hips, rocking deep into you and you moaned loudly. When you felt the first suck of him against your nipple your nearly orgasmed, it pushed you so fucking close. Harry could feel your walls suffocating his cock and maybe he wasn’t going to last as long as he was hoping. He was grinding his cock into you, pubic bone rubbing your clit over and over, while his mouth was latched around your areola as he sucked the milk out of your completely swollen breast and it was driving him insane. You too apparently and he loved that. He swallowed down what was in his mouth before he kissed you hard, “Better?” He asked and you nodded, “Do you want me to do it again?” He asked through his bated breathing, “S’it gonna make my girl come?” He asked.

“Yes, fuck! Pleasepleaseplease!” You whined out and he groaned as he sucked your nipple into his mouth again while your fingers pulled hard at his hair. His balls were so full and achey, much like your breasts, and he had so much of his own creamy load of sperm to give you. Your skin was covered in goosebumps as your legs trembled around his narrow hips and your toes curled as your orgasm started to come over you. “Fuck Harry, don’t stop! I’m gonna come!” You cried out loudly and he pulled off of your boob and hovered his face over yours, his eyes were dark and your breast milk was dripping from the corner of his mouth and he had never looked hotter than he did at this moment.

“Just give me a second.” He said and you whined and closed your eyes, “Nu-uh, look at me, baby. Look at me while I make you cum.” He grunted his demand. The depth of his voice felt like it rumble through your body and you swore your eyes crossed as your orgasm just exploded through your body. You gasped and wailed, you were squirting again and a tidal wave of tingles and warmth washed through your entire body. Your ears were ringing and your blurry eyes focused on Harry’s eyes. His eye brows were creased low and he was grunting, you could barely hear it over the ringing of your ears, but soon he was lowering his face to yours and you just hugged him tight to your body as he started to shoot his load deep inside of you with long drawn out moans of satisfaction. He slowly rode you both through the full experience, making sure that he milked every ounce of pleasure out of the experience for you both.

Several minutes passed without you moving from the position you were in. Your bodies were hot and sticky. Plus yours was sore, you hadn’t done this much cardio or physical activity in a while. Your fingers gently scratched along Harry’s head as you relished in the silence and comfort of being alone with each other. You were tingling all over and riding such a high that you had even forgotten about your tender breast until some of it started to trickle out and Harry raised his head from your chest to see you literally leaking out in little streaks and he started to laugh.

“What?” You asked and then saw the little stream coming out of your breast and you groaned, “So embarrassing.”

“Your body is amazing. The fact you can even do that is incredible…Anyway, I’ll get the pump.” He said and pulled out of you far sooner than either of you wanted and headed around to your bedside table and handed you the pumps from the drawer. You set them up and just rested against the headboard with a tired sigh as your eyes fluttered closed as you let the machines do their thing. Then you felt the warmth of Harry nearby and he kissed you on the forehead, the tip of the nose, and then the lips, you were already smiling by then and so was he. “Thank you, baby.” he whispered against your mouth.

“For what?” You asked as you blinked your eyes open and Harry smiled at you.

“For choosing me to have all of this with.” He said and you sighed as your eyes welled up with tears and he cooed a gentle “don’t cry, baby” to you as he wiped the tears away from under your eyes.

“They're tears of joy. I promise.” You swallowed thickly and he smiled and leaned in to kiss you again, “I wouldn’t want this with anyone else. I love you.” You whispered in between kisses.

“I love you most.” Harry hummed.

----Tag List ----

@justlemmeadoreyou @daphnesutton @angelbabyyy99 @reveriehs @cherrysulewski @jessitpwk @gurugirl @sunflovverharry @sunshinemoonsposts @ottawaoutlander @permanentllyharry @here4thefanfics

[venus-vampire]

ℙ𝔸ℂ: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚐𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜?

Tarot collaboration with @daarlingdatura

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟙 // ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟚 // ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟛 // ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟜

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽ Pile 1 ☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅

This pile could have some friend group drama or friend drama going on. This situation will bring you some clarity and enlightenment thought- as well as some inner peace. Like you could learn to really love yourself through this situation so even though it sucks it's like a blessing in disguise because you get to realize how amazing you are.

You’ve got a reward coming through for making such intense and powerfully transformative emotional breakthroughs, you guys are naturally very balanced and stand strong in your judgments. You know when to call shots or take action, and you know how to differentiate between right and wrong in the grander scheme of things. You don’t get so swept up in momentary emotions. You take your time in executing decision making or in going through with your decided plans & patiently wait or what you want, even if it’s painfully slow.

You understand cause and effect very well, and you generally know what’s coming for you next. You usually know what the outcome of your choices are as well, 

YESS they know like the unconscious process of karma and actions. You know how to get what you want through hard work, and you are also someone who can energetically do road openings! This group could also be really adept in astral traveling !

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽ Pile 2 ☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅

This pile knows the cycles of people, and even life itself. They know that some things must come to an end for others to begin. This pile is in touch with their actual hidden gifts and blessings.

Your blessings are your innate understanding of the universe, energy, and magick. A lot of you also have incredibly powerful bloodlines as well I'm feeling!

I feel like y’all are blessed with strong ancestry, solid friendships, the ability to transition? Datura heard transition, transition of states of mind.

One of your gifts is balancing, I feel like y’all have this ability to swap energies and situations. You can switch your experiences, sometimes for fun.

Y’all protect your boundaries and are careful who they give time and attention to. But y’alls hidden gift is your empathetic and emotional nature. I feel like this group is full of healers and natural spiritualists. Nature is literally on the top of datura’s deck!!

There's probably also a lot of people with mutable in their big 3, venus, mutable dominant people in this pile.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ Pile 3 ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

This is more of a hidden message you need to hear! Mixed in with some blessings and gifts.

You guys are serving extreme bad bitch energy. You are very much unapologetically you and you know what the fuck you’re talking about. Though you can tend to be very pessimistic, you could have really bad experiences with friendships and personal connections. Because of your experiences with others you can have a tendency to be superficial and a bit dull, because of this fear of connection. You don’t want it to backfire so you prefer to just be distant and not let people truly into your life. Alex said he was listening to the album Pink Friday by Nicki Minaj and that it made him think this pile is like her, and will defend their originality, identity, and selves at all costs. In the past you could’ve been naive, letting just anyone waltz into ur life, so now there’s almost a judgy nature to you. Where you need people to be as cool as you, when it’s unfortunately generally not the case. There is deep trauma a lot of you are avoiding with a smile plastered onto your face. I imagined a doll waving to a crowd, it’s like in the public eye you pretend to be the highest version of yourself but alone you can feel horrible and insecure at times. Not always though. Just sometimes. When you heal this vulnerability & connection trauma it’ll get better with times babes. This group can also tend to be seduced into befriending people with shitty intentions because they gaslight their intuition and really want to see the potential of a person they find to be cool. Like honestly this pile can be so superficial about connection sometimes. I feel like you could deal with a lot of conflicting thoughts and even paranoia surrounding friendships and connection. Spirit is saying to quit being so fucking paranoid and live your life. Not everything is that serious and you are seriously divinely protected. Like this group is very spiritually attuned and is well endowed spiritually. Quit being a pessimist and you will get to where you’re going with much less bullshit. Remember the world is a reflection of your mind. Also start following through on ur ideas, get your work ethic together, quit second guessing your ideas and walking away from ur projects just bc they don’t immediately blow up. 

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ Pile 4 ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

I feel like y’all going through something not very fun right now, and your hidden blessings are kind of this ability you have to sink down and break yourself down and let everything bad melt away so you can be reborn. I feel like y’all are also a very vigilant pile, a little too vigilant.

I believe this pile’s hidden gifts and blessings are their ability to connect with others in equal and fair relationships. I feel like people will go out of their way to help you. People may look up to you and seek your advice or presence. Cherish those around you, pile 4.

I feel like y’all also have good temper control but know when to be assertive and let your spicy emotions out.

Pile 4 can quickly come back from failures and spend time within themselves to spring back up like nothing happened. Y’all  learn a lot from pain as well, so endings, failures, deaths, etc are a blessing in disguise for this group usually. “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” is true for y’all.

I would say that y’all are generally positive people, but when the pain comes up y’all can get caught in it. Like you put forth your best, but get knocked down, not realizing the point is kind of allowing you to learn.

Datura heard work on being more positive or coping with failures. Try not exploding and self destructing every time something goes wrong. Good luck pile 4 <3

[tomorrowxtogether]

TXT Talks The Name Chapter: Freefall, Adulting, and Growing Pains

I have a feeling we are not in Kansas Neverland anymore.

In the four-plus years since their debut, TXT (Tomorrow X Together) have always embraced eclecticism, but their third full-length album, The Name Chapter: Freefall, takes things a step further.

When they burst into the scene, TXT started weaving a complex story told through the lens of a group of young boys. First, there was The Dream Chapter, which focused on the transition from childhood to adolescence and relied on colorful aesthetics and optimistic lyricism. Then, there came the quasi-Kafkaesque Chaos Chapter, which shattered the illusion of dreams, introducing real-world problems and a looming sense of responsibility that comes full circle in The Name Chapter, the last page (so far) in this TXT's big book.

"The Name Chapter is about a phase where you solidify your identity and your name as you grow into adulthood," Taehyun explained to Teen Vogue earlier this year, when the first installment of this chapter, Temptation, was presented to the world. Temptation looked to Peter Pan for inspiration to depict the longing for lost innocence, but Freefall doesn't have time for more fairytales. The proverbial boys are going from the idyllic grasslands of Neverland to the graffitied streets of a stark reality where you have to fight to achieve your dreams.

As Beomgyu pointed out during a media showcase for the new album, Temptation's last track, "Farewell, Neverland," serves as an explicit connector to Freefall, which kicks off with "Growing Pain," TXT's first venture into heavy metal. The quintet had previously released the Ryan Tedder-penned "Back for More" and "Do It Like That" as collaborations with Anitta and the Jonas Brothers, respectively, though they appear sans company in the final album.

Going from '80s synth-pop on the Rock Mafia-produced title track "Chasing That Feeling" to melodic R&B in "Dreamer" and Jersey club in "Deep Down" and "Happily Ever After," The Name Chapter: Freefall finds TXT diving into uncharted waters across its nine original tracks, plus a digital-only English version of the title track.

Ahead of the album's release, Teen Vogue caught up with the five members over Zoom to chat about working on the album, life on the road, and their own "freefall" into adulthood.

Teen Vogue: Congratulations on another great album. I wanted to start off easy by just letting you pick your favorite songs from The Name Chapter: Freefall.

Taehyun (in English): For me, it changes every day. Today, I'll choose "Deep Down."

Yeonjun: For me, "Growing Pain."

Beomgyu: “물수제비” — or “Skipping Stones,” in English.

Soobin: For me, it's also "Skipping Stones" because it's kind of indie rock style, which I really love, and it's our first foray into such kind of genre, so I really love that song.

Hueningkai: Right now, I choose "Dreamer."

TV: I thought some of you would say "Blue Spring" because it's your ode to MOAs that you all wrote together.

Hueningkai: [Giggles.]

TV: You actually unveiled the track during your last tour, Act: Sweet Mirage, right?

Taehyun: Yes, we actually made "Blue Spring" for the tour because we thought it'd be nice to present it to MOAs live. So, we made it rather quickly right before the tour so that we could fit it into the setlist.

TV: Was it initially just a tour song, or was it always the plan to add it to the album after?

Hueningkai: If the chance presented itself, we thought it'd be good to add it to an album. We didn't yet know which album it would be, but that was the plan, and fortunately, it fitted this album, The Name Chapter: Freefall, so well that it made it in.

TV: In a recent TMI video, which I believe was from one of your lives, Beomgyu said that this is his favorite album ever since your debut, even though you've liked every single album you've put out. Why do you like this album the most?

Beomgyu: Usually, when I listen to music, [though] I like a lot of genres, I typically tend to pick songs that have a kind of similar, very specific vibe to them. This album has a whole array of genres, but I still really enjoyed it. I really like it. I think we have something for everyone, and [because of that] I keep listening to it even to this very day.

TV: It's true. It's very eclectic. You have a really good mix of genres. In that same video, Yeonjun, you said that prepping for this album wasn't particularly easy. What did you mean by that? Was it because of your packed schedules? Was it because it's a full-length album after a while? How is it different or more demanding than your previous releases? Especially The Name Chapter: Temptation because I do think you incorporated a lot of genres into that one as well…

Yeonjun: Yes, schedule-wise, we were writing the lyrics while we were on tour, so it was demanding, and it didn't go as fast as we thought. Also, when we write lyrics, we run them by our label since we all have different ideas and views on the songs and [need to join forces to come up with the best options].

Hueningkai: Because this was our studio album in two years and four months, we wanted to make sure that we had the utmost quality, and that's why we had a lot of people jumping in and sharing ideas and feedback.

TV: Nice, it was a good collaborative process. While listening to the album, I couldn't help but notice that you put in a couple of references to your debut song, "Crown," both in the lyrics for "Blue Spring" and also in the Korean subtitle for "Deep Down"," which is “머리에 솟아난 뿔은 나의 왕관이었다,” meaning “The horn that rose from my head was my crown.” Why did you decide to make it a full circle and call back to your very first song?

Taehyun: This album is about facing reality and showing a determination to grow, which, of course, comes with some pain — growing pains. [This idea just naturally] circles back to our song “Crown” because, in a way, it also talks about those growing pains. There's a horn growing out of my head. I thought it was a pain, but because we have that horn, we could grow. So, it's actually a crown, not a horn. [It was an instinctive callback.

TV: As you kind of mentioned, the theme of the chapter is growth and hitting reality head-on. I know you have your boys in your story, but personally, what was the moment in your life when you realized that you were not kids anymore? What was your "freefall" in a way?

Taehyun (in English): I think ever since I joined our company. [That] showed [me adult] reality.

TV: I mean, that happens when you get a job, right?

Taehyun: That's right.

TV: Responsibilities.

Yeonjun: Yeah, I totally agree with what Taehyun said. Because we were [objectively] quite young when we started, I think joining the company was like jumping into society and a "freefall" into the [adult] reality.

TV: It must have been a big change, but you are doing great now, so it worked out.

Soobin: Thank you!

Hueningkai: Thank you so much!

TV: Okay, to counteract how serious that question was. One of the other concepts in this album is melancholy. Now that we are all in this adult world, what is something that you miss the most about your childhood? Something that takes you back and brings back good memories?

Yeonjun: I think, for me, it'd be just those normal days when you go to school and you hang out with your friends. Those are the moments I'd love to go back to the most. I think going back would make me even more appreciative of how precious and beautiful those days were.

TV: Yes. For me, it's watching cartoons in the morning during the weekends.

All: [Laugh.]

TV: Applied to your careers, you guys are going onto five years together now, which is incredible because it feels like just yesterday that you made your debut. How do you feel you have changed or grown from the rookies that you were then? What are some of the fears and anxieties that you have now compared to when you were starting out?

Beomgyu: I feel like we have grown a lot both personally and as a team, [and that can be seen] in the big stages we’ve been performing at recently. Personally, when we had just debuted and up until the first half of our career, I don't think I was too nervous about going on stage; but, [as the scale grows], I feel like it’s become a bit more nervewracking for me. I do get a bit more nervous and a bit more anxious lately [despite the experience.] That said, as soon as I am on stage, I [immediately] feel better since I get to rely on the other members.

TV: Why do you feel you've experienced that shift? Why do you feel more "pressured" now when you go on stage? Is it just the scale?

Beomgyu: Yeah, [I think so.] Honestly, I've been trying very hard to figure it out. I still don't know why. I'm trying to [have a concrete answer], but [I just know I get] very nervous [in big stages or with big crowds these days].

TV: You'll figure it out. Do the rest of the members feel the same, or do you feel more at ease when you're on a big stage now that you have two world tours and Lollapalooza twice under your belts?

Taehyun: Personally, [precisely] because we've been on bigger stages, and we've also shown our performance for pre-release songs at such big stages, I think these experiences have piled up and I've gotten to actually enjoy the time [on stage] more. It's fun.

TV: Tell Beomgyu your secret. Make him feel more at ease before going on a big stage.

All: [Laugh.]

TV: As part of Act: Sweet Mirage, you have a couple more concerts scheduled for later in the year in Seoul, and, of course, the end of the year is a big time for big-scale performances. What surprises do you have up your sleeve for the next few performances?

Taehyun: We have the finale concerts left in Seoul in December, so we are going to make them grand finale [worthy]. It's going to be a bit more flashy and we are going to have a very long set list, so people can look forward to that the most.

TV: Long setlist, okay. Bringing it back to The Name Chapter: Freefall. Is there any aspect that you're most excited for fans to see when you perform these songs live? I hear that the choreography for the title track has some voguing in it...

Hueningkai: Yeah, so as you said, there's going to be some voguing involved in the dance break, so I think we can make that into a challenge, and if it becomes a hit, then we'll love it too. It's not that difficult to do, so I think it could go viral.

TV: We'll 100% look forward to that. Though they are not part of the album, you've been collaborating with a lot of new artists these days: Anitta, Coi Leray last year, the Jonas Brothers.... I'm not going to ask you about who you want to collaborate with in the future because I know you've answered that question multiple times, but I am curious to know what have you learned from working with other artists outside of your bubble. Are there any memorable experiences or lessons that they have taught you, or have you ever felt starstruck working with such big artists?

Taehyun: Of course, musically, we learned so much from all of them. Personally, [I was a bit starstruck] when I met the Jonas Brothers. I thought, "They're such big stars, but they're so humble. They're so nice and gentle and such nice people." So I thought that I want to become like them. Even when I become a bigger star, I want to be humble and nice like them. Plus, they're still so handsome.

TV: Well, they also started around the same age that you started, so...

Hueningkai: Correct.

TV: On a more playful note, and since the album is all about falling, have you fallen down any rabbit holes recently? Do you have any new obsessions? I know for Soobin, it's probably anime...

Soobin: [Laughs and nods].

TV: What are the things that you've been enjoying the most when you're not working?

Yeonjun: I'm very into listening to and collecting vinyl records, so when it was my birthday, I even asked my members and my friends to give me a vinyl of their own choice, of their own taste.

TV: Did they follow through? Did they commit and gift you the records?

Yeonjun: Yes. All the members gave me a vinyl.

TV: Nice. Does anyone else want to share something that you've been enjoying outside of work?

Soobin: For me, as you said, I love watching TV dramas and anime after work. But if we have a day off, I've taken a liking for just strolling without a destination in the past year. I pick an area — Gangnam, Itaewon... — and just go there with my maps and walk around. If I see a cafe or a clothing store that catches my eye, I just go in and see what's there. That's the kind of thing that I like to do these days; spending the day just walking aimlessly without a destination, going for whatever I like.

TV: My social anxiety would not let me roam around without a purpose, but proud of you for that. It sounds lovely.

All: [Laugh.]

TV: Music-wise, what's on your playlist these days? Or better, what are some songs that you have been listening to these days that you feel will pair well with The Name Chapter: Freefall?

Taehyun (in English): Recently, I've been listening to a lot of rock. A lot of Bon Jovi. Guns N' Roses, they are my favorite.

TV: Old school.

Soobin: I think the members already know this, but "Skipping Stones" is my favorite song from this new album and [one of] the writers of the song is called Hanroro. She is a singer-songwriter. I've been a big fan of her for a long time, but especially recently, I've been listening to a lot of her songs again. I really like her music. One of her songs is named "정류장," and I think that goes really well with our album. They have really similar vibes.

TV: A full circle moment again.

Soobin: Yes. [Laughs.]

TV: The album is dropping on a Friday the 13th, which is notoriously a very spooky and unlucky day. Hopefully, you don't get the unlucky part, but do you have any superstitions? Do you believe in any of that?

Taehyun: I don't think this is a superstition, but [I'll turn it around]: I hope that people listen to our songs so much that it's almost spooky.

TV: Okay, nice, you are putting a spell on people to like the album.

Hueningkai: [Laughs.]

TV: I think that will work.

Hueningkai: I think superstitions are fun; I'm very much interested in superstitions.

TV: To wrap things up. Do you want to describe the album in one word each?

Hueningkai: Massive.

Taehyun: Masterpiece.

Beomgyu: Favorite.

Yeonjun: Best.

Soobin: Youth.

TV: They all go together: your best and favorite masterpiece of youth on a massive scale.

All: [Laugh.]

Taehyun: That's right.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity. TXT spoke via an interpreter.

[champagneglitteronthefloor]

Glitch

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x fem!reader

Summary: reader is new at Nevermore university, another psychic like Wednesday. When a quick friendship with Xavier forms, reader agrees to help him make Wednesday jealous. Which essentially leads to more 🥰

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: Smut, minors DNI. All the things are in this.

A/n: I’m definitely a reader before I’m a writer BUT I wanted to place this fantasy out there. My new obsession with the show Wednesday and Xavier Thorpe is insane. Credit to the creator of the gif. Also I did listen to Glitch by Taylor Swift while writhing, and would love to eventually do a mini series of Xavier to songs on the Midnights album. Send requests please I would love it!

“This is my secret place, too.” You heard a fairly deep voice behind you as well as footsteps through the grass. You were sitting on a a small dock you’d found looking out at the lake.

“Sorry about that.” You laughed.

“I’m Xavier. I already know who you are.” He held his hand out, which you shook while tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Well I know I don’t come here to just sit. What’s on your mind?” He asked. As if he’d known you for years.

“Just thinking about my old school, my friends. About how I went from having all sorts of friends and hobbies, and I was happy. And then I had to come here.” You sighed with an honest answer.

It was not a good transition for you. You were a fencing champion at your last school, on the dance team. About as close to a normie an outcast could get. This put a huge target on your back at Nevermore.

“People haven’t exactly given you a fair chance here. And for that I’m sorry.” He replied.

“So what did you come here to think about?” You took Xavier off guard. “The girl with black braids and the guy at the coffee shop.” You replied. He had no idea you’d had a slight vision.

“How’d you know?” He asked.

“It’s easy to see.” You simply replied.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening sharing your feelings, two strangers. It was more him than you, telling you about the last couple weeks, how Wednesday had chosen Tyler over him. You pieced together this was the girl and guy in your vision.

Xavier walked you home that evening, the campus already empty when you got back to your dorm building.

“See you next time Xavier!” You waved with a smile. Your first friend at Nevermore. As Xavier walked away you fell into a deep vision. You could see yourself with Xavier. Him looking into your eyes with, you were trying so hard to see, with love? He was looking at you in love. His hands were on your face, and he was looking into your eyes with deep passion. With love. You snapped out of it.

“Hey are you okay?” Xavier was now running back to you to check on you.

“I’m fine!” You scurried up the stairs, missing a step and falling down. “Definitely still fine.” You ran off, to the sound of Xavier laughing.

That’s funny. Your visions were never wrong. However, this time it had to be. Xavier was in love with Wednesday. You heard him talk about her. You tried to brush it off. Definitely just a glitch.

The days went by, then the weeks, and you spent some days practicing archery with Xavier, or fencing while listening to that days drama about Wednesday and Tyler. It hurt you that he hurt. He was such a passionate person. He loved with all of his heart. You started to wonder if Wednesday was enjoying all of this. You didn’t know her, not at all, but from your view, you didn’t like how she made Xavier feel. That’s when the idea hit you.

“I could try to help you make Wednesday jealous.” You said as Xavier looked at you letting the arrow go at his target, hitting his target right in the middle.”

“Bullseye, that means this is the perfect plan.” You rubbed your hands together.

“You really think it would work?” Xavier asked after you explained the plan to him.

“Of course I think this would work.” You said confidently, hoping the plan didn’t backfire, because you were the absolute opposite person of Wednesday.

You made your way to the coffee shop where, thanks to your vision, you knew Wednesday and Tyler were having a date. You were out of your Nevermore uniform (thank goodness) and had yourself dressed up, and you had spent quiet the amount of time getting ready, in order to try to make the plan work.

You saw Xavier waiting at a table for you, directly across from Wednesday and Tyler. The plan was in motion. When you opened the door to the coffee shop your eyes made contact with Xavier’s first. Your hair was flowing down your back, your dress fit just right, he was looking at you. The world seemed as if it stopped for a moment when he looked into your eyes. This wasn’t part of the plan.

You snapped out of it and looked at Wednesday and Tyler who were obviously looking at you too.

“If I were you I’d look a little harder.” Wednesday said dryly while snapping an iced coffee straw open aggressively. Tyler then looked down quickly. The plan was getting out of control quickly. You decided to jump back on track.

“Xav!” You said as you slid into the table chair and he continued to look at you, just as before.

“Hey, I think I need to tell you-“ he started.

“Tell me how glad you are to see me for our date?” You said just loud enough for Wednesday to hear. “Me too.” You reached up and pushed your hand through his hair. You felt the little sparks. Impossible. He loves her.

“No I think I have had something change-“ Xavier started when the girl from the counter came over to ask if you had drink orders.

After ordering, Xavier continued to act weird. You eyed him questionably.

You looked over and noticed Wednesday and Tyler slipping out the door.

“Our plan failed.” You sighed.

“Can we take these to go?” Xavier asked, nervous, weird tone intact.

“I’m really really sorry. I thought it would work. I’ll find something to work. I really will.” You said with regret. You could tell by his demeanor something was off.

He never answered you. As you arrived back to the dorms you decided to walk up to his dorm with him for one more apology, sneaking, knowing you weren’t supposed to be there. Xavier’s room was empty and you walked in, so you wouldn’t be seen. You recognized the room. You’d seen it before.

“Say something.” You said. Afraid you’d ruined your only friendship at Nevermore.

“I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THIS WHOLE TIME MY FEELINGS HAVE CHANGED AND I LOVE YOU AND NOT WEDNESDAY.” He said with raised voice. “I think that’s how it was always supposed to be.” He added on much more quietly.

Then he stepped over into a different light. This was it. This was your vision. He was looking at you with the deep passion he once looked at Wednesday Addams with. He put his hands onto your face just how he did in the vision.

“It’s you. Wednesday was always supposed to be with Tyler, because you were coming for me.” He was looking at you so deeply never breaking his gaze.

“And I thought my vision was a glitch.” You smiled wrapping your arms around him.

“Your what? I’m sorry I- we will address the fact that you didn’t tell me you’re a psychic later. I just want to take this moment in.” He looked at you with those big green eyes.

You knew you had loved him from the moment you laid eyes on him, you had been trying to block it out, knowing his infatuation with Wednesday.

This was when his lips crashed into yours, as if they were meant to be there. The kiss was deepened. You’d never been in a relationship where things started to move so quickly- physically. Were you even in a relationship with Xavier?

You were now sitting on his bed, under him, still kissing, your hands wrapped around his waist. He was so tall, so captivating, the kiss broke for only a moment for his green eyes to meet you’re again.

“We don’t have to go any further than this. I promise. We have nothing but time.” He said with great thought in his eyes.

“I wasn’t planning on it going this far, until it started too. Now I’m not sure if I can go back.” You admitted. You could feel his obvious indicator that he felt the same way.

“When will your roommate be home?” You asked him.

“I live by myself now.” He answered your question with the raise of his eyebrows.

“What about her?” You were starting to get in your own mind.

“Since the moment I met you, I knew the reason it didn’t work for myself and her.” He answered. Plus I know this is where I’m meant to be. You shot a questioning look.

“Well for one your vision led you here, for two, I drew this a couple of days ago.” He got up and pulled a paper off the desk, handing it to you.

You examined the paper. It was yourself, in the same outfit you were in, sitting in the same position you were just the moment before. You’d known the entire time Xavier was psychic too, obviously because of his famous father. You had no idea he drew his visions.

“This is amazing.” You said, somewhat speechless. Walking the paper back over to the desk you noticed many many pictures drawn of you, along with your headband you once left at school sitting at the top of the desk, and a photo you and Xavier took at fencing practice. Xavier turning red. Some other person might find this kind of borderline stalkerish, but you found it cute and intriguing.

“This has been going on a while hasn’t it?” You asked him.

“I drew you before you showed up.” He admitted.

“What about all the conversations we had about Wednesday and Tyler after you met me?” You asked.

“I think I still really dislike Tyler.” He chuckled. “But also you were trying so hard to help me with the issue that first brought us close, and I should’ve been honest about my feelings with you sooner.” He said with a slight look of worry on his face.

You decided not to say anything, bending down to kiss him still sitting on the bed, which you hardly had to bend because he was so much taller than you, even sitting.

You straddled him putting your forehead to his. Placing small kisses on his forehead and playing with his hair.

“You’re entering a point of no return here. Once you start this I won’t be able to go back.” He smiled.

“Like I said I have no desire to go back.” You winked.

Suddenly he was on top of you pulling at your jacket, getting it off. He popped your bra strap in one single motion. Yikes, this isn’t his first time here. Maybe you should’ve mentioned it was yours.

Somehow you still showed no nervousness, or fear, because this was right. Your dress was now over your head and in the floor, Xavier still fully dressed. You were unsure of what you were supposed to do. Were you supposed to take his clothes off? Nerves were striking a little. Your question was answered when his shirt hit the ground following the rest of his items.

He was now looking at you. All over up and down. You hoped more than anything he liked the picture in front of him.

“Did you draw this?” You asked him.

“No but I damn sure wish I would’ve.” He now crashed down onto you.

He placed kisses up and down your body finding the place he was initially looking for. As he was working his mouth, you tried not to squirm at the new sensation, as his tongue found the exact spot that made you arch. Your stomach dropped as he began to add a single finger, might you add a very long one, as his hands are huge. This drew an immediate moan out of you, which fueled him to add another, moving faster with his hands and his tongue.

You knew this was wrong, you weren’t supposed to be doing this right now. But it also felt so right. So right you felt like your body could burst up into flames. You could feel a burning in the bottom of your stomach. Uncontrollable sounds were coming out of you now. With no other experience to go by, you still knew what was about to happen.

With the scream of his name, you went over a cliff, an edge, that was such a new indescribable feeling to you. You could see the satisfaction in his eyes as he got into a new position, lining himself up with you.

“I cannot wait any longer.” He said breathlessly.

He had no idea in this moment he was about to take your last piece of innocence left. You had no intention to tell him, because you wanted it, and you were afraid you might mess it up.

You could taste an odd taste as he now was kissing you again, of yourself. But you were too ready for what was to come to think about that.

While deep in thought you could see Xavier now looking into your eyes, which made you a little nervous, how he never broke eye contact. This remained as he slowly pushed into you.

“My god, you are so tight, I can’t hardly even push in.” He groaned as you felt a pop. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at you.

“You were a virgin?” He asked with a terrified tone. “And you didn’t tell me?” He continued to look at you in shock.

“I didn’t want to mess this up.” You admitted, him still inside you.

“Well I’m pulling out and we are going to discuss this.” He said, not very convincingly.

“Ummm Xavier, it’s already done.” You giggled a little.

“You have a point.” He giggled back with you, as he now was starting thrust a little, towering over top of you.

You looked at him, he looked like an angel to you. You knew everyone’s types were different, but this here, this was your type. Tall, lanky, pale, big green eyes. You looked at his long, long legs folded under him as he continued to thrust. Suddenly these thoughts escaped you, as all you could feel was him, hitting your g spot as hard as he could, letting the most attractive moans come from his mouth, which was bringing you closer to your edge as he said your name over and over.

“I can’t hold on much longer.” He warned you.

“Me either.” You responded, barely unable to respond.

“Are you on and form of..?” He started to ask.

You nodded your head as you remembered that you had indeed taken your pill this morning, that you had just started recently.

It all happened like a dream, you hadn’t really timed it, but it all timed out perfectly. Both of you reached your high at the same time, not realizing how noisy you were being. You were now coated inside with him, you were definitely marked by him, he was the holder of your virginity, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You didn’t even remember falling asleep on his chest, but you woke up the next morning in a frantic rush to get out of Xavier’s dorm, trying not to get in trouble.

“Babe, it’s okay.” Xavier said in his morning voice making you melt into a puddle. “The more spastic you act the more noticeable it’s going to be.” He laughed.

“Come here.” He said motioning told you. You walked over to him sitting up on the bed where he sat up and kissed you with a hug. You trusted Xavier, but the female in you couldn’t help wonder if you’d get up and leave and he’d never talk to you again.

“I promise I’m here for the long run.” He gave you that smile and bit at his bottom lip.

“Me too.” You gave him one last kiss and turned to the mirror.

You looked different. You could see the innocence lost in your eyes. You didn’t dislike it, you could just see it in yourself. Though you were very put together, you still could tell that you hadn’t gotten ready in your room as always. You turned to walk to the door, immediately face to face with Ajax who was about to knock on the door.

“I came to see if you two were ever coming out. What a surprise this is.” He said with a playful smirk.

“I was just-“ you started.

“Oh everyone in this building knows what you guys were “just” doing.” He laughed and patted you on the back. He looked at your neck at the huge spot left by Xavier, that you had honestly forgotten about.

“Wow.” He said wide eyes

You turned to Xavier, mortified.

“Meet me before class?” He asked.

“I’ll think about it.” You laughed as you passed Ajax going into the room.

While running to your room to get your makeup to cover your neck with, you couldn’t stop thinking of him. You were already counting the seconds until you saw him again. You were definitely in deep.

[lila-rae]

Excuse me while I unload my Renaissance Tour Film thoughts

Holy Mother of all that is Good. Beyoncé is that girl. Period.

Immediately the visuals were giving. The transitions were just so damn stunning. The editing team deserves all the praise.

As someone who grew up in back stage roles the respect, gratitude, and honor she shows to the crew is so sweet and makes me tear up. It’s very easy to feel under appreciated in those roles but she wanted them in reflective gear to show the audience the work they were putting in.

Her thoughts on Black women and the fight for success. “This Bitch will not give up” might become my new motto.

She’s truly the most virgoy Virgo because them telling her they didn’t have a certain rig and coming back with “I was looking at 30 foot camera tracks - and they do exist” — ICONIC

Watching her embrace motherhood had me in tears. (I’m legit way too hormonal for this shit.) You can tell how much she loves her kids, how much she loves being with them, and that they are her number 1 priority. I think the media loves to portray Black women as cold/angry/irritable but watching her be soft and nurturing and so damn cuddly with those babies had me crying in the theater.

The honor she is showing to the LGBTQ community, specifically the black gay men who forever changed a lot of the culture was heartwarming. Watching Kevin JZ Prodigy get his flowers was beautiful and well deserved. Seeing all the LGBTQ representation in her crew and hearing their stories and what this means to them was so important and I’m glad she included them in the film.

Blue Blue is hilarious and was riding hard for all of us to have the tour we deserved. And for that I thank her. Also just watching her be so dedicated and hardworking at 11. She was my favorite part of the tour and is probably my favorite part of the film.

I’m glad she included the Big 3 especially for the cities that didn’t get to see them performed because that Drunk in Love riff deserves to be memorialized on film.

And finally my favorite quote of the night

“I spent so much of my life a serial people pleaser and finally I don’t give a fuck” (I take back earlier this is my new motto)

Now I need sis to drop a tour recording album like yesterday. If I don’t get alien superstar with the sweet dreams beat under it immediately I will riot. Also her love song melody is a need not a want.

[cryley]

Petrichor - Part 5

matty healy x reader (fluff) word count: 2.3k warnings: mention of cigarettes A/N: (moved from @cryley-fics where it was originally posted) Hey besties! ♡ AHH it's the last chapter! I had so much fun writing this fic and I hope you all enjoyed it. Will I continue this series with a sequel? Who knows ♡ ▹ masterlist ▹ part 1 ▹ part 2 ▹ part 3 ▹ part 4 ▹ part 5

“Sorry about the slight mess.”

I locked the door behind us and placed my bags on the couch. 

My place was small, but it was mine. I was proud of myself for getting a place of my own even if it was just a small 1 bedroom apartment. 

Matty chuckled as he looked around, “What mess? You should see how the studio back home gets when we’re all in there.” 

“Well I typically try to keep everything as tidy as possible, but I’ve been busy with work lately.”

He scanned the artwork that littered my walls. I tend to impulse purchase every piece of art I enjoy before forgetting I don’t have wall space to display the art, so my decor style looks a bit maximalist. He was silent as he walked through my living room as if it were some sort of museum. I watched him as his feet were almost rhythmic until he stopped in front of a particular piece. 

“Oh, uhm.” I started to become a bit embarrassed, “I used to photograph shows a while ago while in college.” 

He looked back at me with a smile. I froze a bit as my mind seemingly zoomed out to view my tiny apartment in a wide-angle lens. Matty Healy standing in my living room. Me standing awkwardly in my kitchen. Matty looking at a photo of himself on stage. A photo that I took and hung up in my living room.

“When was this?” He turned back to the photo. 

“I’m pretty sure it was 2015.” I moved a bit closer to him and the photo. 

In the print, Matty stood center stage in front of the classic neon box. The lights hit him so perfectly that I didn’t have to do much editing for this shot. Only a bit of his features were visible as it was mostly a silhouette. 

“This is pretty good. Do you still photograph shows?”

“I mostly do portraits now.” I moved next to him, “I think I’d like to revisit shows again, but for now I’m enjoying my current projects.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could tell that he wasn’t staring at the photo anymore. His eyes were planted on me. I tried my hardest to pretend I didn’t notice. 

There were little moments when he looked like he was interested in me, but I knew that wasn’t the case. I was probably just reading things wrong and didn’t want to make a fool of myself. I tried to ignore things the best I could to keep myself from getting delusional or excited about what I knew wasn’t possible. Matty Healy, a famous musician, could have any model he ever wanted, interested in me? Even him asking me on a date in London was probably just him being nice in a friendship kind of way. Returning the favour for me showing him a cool record store and keeping him company while he’s bored on tour. 

“So, uh, I’m going to shower while we’re here if that’s okay.” I turned to transition to my bedroom door, “I’ll only be a bit, but there should be drinks in the fridge, and feel free to peek through my vinyls or tv.”

He gave a thumbs-up accompanied with a smile. 

I did the same with a chuckle before closing my bedroom door behind me. I sat on my bed silently for a minute just to try to process the last day and a half. His footsteps echoed as he was slowly walking around and stopping every once in a while. 

I later emerged from my bathroom now fully feeling clean. I pulled on a long-sleeve dress I quickly picked out. It wasn’t too formal, but definitely nicer than my typical jeans. 

I could hear through my door that a Cure album was lightly playing. He must have taken me up on the idea to search through my vinyl. 

I light knock tapped on my door just as I sat down at my vanity. 

“You can come in.”

My door opened to reveal Matty, now in just his white undershirt. 

“Hey, can I possibly also shower really quick?”

“Definitely!” I nodded and stood up to go fetch him some towels from my linen closet. 

He smiled as I handed him the towels, “Thank you. I didn’t get the chance to this morning and I probably smell horrendous.”

He didn’t smell horrendous at all. Somehow he still smelled perfect. 

I giggled to play along, “You can use any of the bottles in the shower. I don’t know if they’ll work great for your curls, but they’ll manage.” 

I continued back to my vanity to start my makeup ritual as I listened to the sound of the shower mixed with the Cure lightly in the background. Every once in a while, I thought I could hear Matty lightly singing something, but couldn’t be too sure of what he was singing or if I was just imagining things. 

I pulled on my shoes and jewelry as my last step of getting ready as I heard the door slowly open. 

“You look nice.” 

My eyes couldn’t help but pan up and down in awe as he re-entered my bedroom now shirtless and damp. I could feel my heart thump through my chest. 

“Thank you.” I leaned against my wall. 

He looked into my eyes for a long moment before his voice cracked a bit. 

“So, I’ve been wanting to do something, but have been a bit hesitant to just out of misunderstanding and time and place and all that nonsense.” he walked a bit closer to me until he was close enough to touch.

His eyes looked less tired but deep in thought. I wish I could peer inside his mind. 

He stepped one step closer, “I don’t want you to think that you’re just another fan I pull onto stage or that I’m doing anything purely to add a number to an imaginary list I have hidden somewhere to create some high score.”

I allowed my eyes to meet his. All of my thoughts spilled out of my brain and onto my floor. Was I wrong this whole time?

He was incredibly close to me. He still had a slight smell of sweet tobacco lingering on his skin. His longing eyes shifted down. My eyes did a similar switch from staring into his deep brown eyes to moving my gaze down to his smooth lips. 

Before I could question what he meant, his lips pressed into mine. The kiss was soft like his lips. I could feel my heart speed up with every second that went by. His hand found its way to my hip as he shifted his body closer to mine, gently pushing me closer to my bedroom wall. 

I was waiting for this. 

I smiled into the kiss and his mirrored soon after. I didn’t want this to end. 

His other hand moved up to cup the side of my jaw as he resumed the kiss, deepening it even more. The taste of tobacco lingered on his lips. I could sense that he was trying his hardest to keep the kiss soft and sweet, but the grip of his hand on my waist was telling me he wanted more. 

I took that as a sign to softly bite down on his bottom lip. An unexpected, and probably unintentional, moan escaped him. I smiled into the kiss again. 

His breathing became a bit shaky as my hands moved from his waist up to his neck and then up to tug lightly at his curls. Our lips moved perfectly in sync. He knew exactly what he was doing.

Without removing his lips from mine, he pulled me away from the wall and over to the edge of my bed. Our kiss broke for only a second as he sat on the edge and softly pulled me onto him. I gladly followed his directions, causing my dress to bunch up from placing my legs on either side of his lap. 

My hands settled into comfortable spots on his bare chest while his settled on my hips. He returned the light nibble I teased him with before. I returned the unintentional slight moan. I wanted nothing more than this. 

The kiss continued for some time before he broke it to rest his forehead on mine. 

“As much as I want to continue this, we’re going to be late for dinner.” he smirked, “Also, I wouldn’t want to move too quickly and spoil what I had planned for our date in London.”

I chuckled and kissed the tip of his nose. 

This caused him to smile a bit bigger than he expected. Sometimes I could catch him off guard enough for him to give a goofy smile instead of the kind of smile he probably practiced in the mirror. While both genuine, the unrehearsed one made me feel more accomplished in a way. Like I made him smile so much that he forgot about his whole act of trying to look handsome. As if anything he did made him look less handsome. 

With a quick peck, I reluctantly maneuvered off of his lap. I straightened my dress in the mirror as he pulled his sweater back over his head. 

“You look beautiful Y/N.”

His arms slid around me from behind as he placed his head on my shoulder. I smiled as I looked in the mirror at the both of us. We looked good together. 

“You look beautiful too, Matty.”

He craned his neck around to kiss my cheek before letting go. I moved to the living room to turn off my record player and put away the record. 

“Good choice by the way.”

Matty appeared in my doorway, “Thank you. It was hard to choose from your collection. All good choices.”

I grabbed my jacket from the coat rack and slid it on over my dress, “Ready to go?”

“One second.” His gaze was back on me as he moved next to me. 

He smirked and leaned down to place a peck on my lips.

“Okay, now I’m ready.” 

I playfully rolled my eyes as we exited my apartment. I wasn’t going to complain at all about the spontaneous kisses, but how he got them was very cheeky and he knew it. I often stole some extra glances while with him. I wanted to take in every single moment and remember everything. I never wanted to forget how he cocked his head to the side as he smiled. The way his lips curled up ever so slightly as he chuckled, forming small smile lines in the crease of his cheeks. I didn’t want to forget the way his hair smelled of shampoo with the lingering hint of cigarette smoke in the morning. The way his curls draped over his forehead and that some of them were speckled grey. 

“Y/N, are you coming?” Matty waved at me from the street, snapping me out of my thoughts. 

I nodded and joined him in my car. We had to drive back to the venue to meet the boys for dinner. I wasn’t sure where we were going yet, but I assumed it was going to be a nice place due to the boys talking about what they were going to order this morning. 

“So,” my fingers drummed on my steering wheel, “When do I have to request off work for London?” 

He scrolled through the calendar on his phone, “I’ll fly you out on December 31st. Be prepared to stay for around a week, I’d assume.”

“A week? I don’t know if I can take that much time off work, Matty.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I can cover your paycheck.”

“Matty - “

“Don’t worry about it Y/N!” He playfully threw his arms in the air. 

I smiled even though I was a little embarrassed about not being able to pay for my flight or felt insecure about taking that much time away from work. I’m sure he wasn’t used to having someone like me in his life. He surrounded himself with successful musicians and models that could pay their own way I’m sure. 

I was interrupted by Matty’s hand placed on my thigh, “You’re in your head again Y/N.”

I was surprised that he was able to tell when I was distracted or in my head about things. I think he knows from experience. 

Sooner than I had expected, I parked my car on the road near the buses. I dreaded him and the rest of the boys leaving tonight after dinner. Yeah, Matty promised to fly me out to London to see him again, but for some reason, I feared that he would change his mind in the time between now and the end of the year. What if he met someone else while on the rest of the tour? What if I don’t hear from him after he leaves? 

“I’m excited to show you around my city.” He smiled over at me in my passenger seat. 

I couldn’t help but to smile. His reassuring words made some of my worries go away. 

“Me too. You haven’t even left and I’m excited to get to see you again.”

His hand gave a light squeeze of my thigh. 

My eyes gazed forward out of the windscreen, “Promise you won’t change your mind?”

His eyes changed and his smile dropped its shape. The side of my face was met with his cupped hand. 

His lips were my favourite part of him. They pressed against mine. Soft and passionate. Longing and sweet. I could sit here in the front seat of my car for hours with my lips against his. Our mouths moved slowly in unison. It was a sweet kiss where neither of us were wanting dominance. It just was. 

“I promise, Y/N.”

[shineemoon]

MINHO ✨ NME Interview

Q: It’s been 14 years since your debut with SHINee. What was the moment when you realised you were ready to go solo? “The biggest reason would be the desire to show my fans a work of my own. I figured that this would be a good timing because next year is the 15th anniversary of SHINee, and I want to shift my entire focus on SHINee [then]. I wanted to close this year with an album of my own.” . Q: You helped direct and film the video for ‘Chase’. Why did you focus on telling a full story, as opposed to, say, adding performance scenes? “The main [reason] was to help the viewers focus more on the music. I figured that acting would create a better synergy, allowing [them] to enjoy and listen. It was also a bold choice to remove the performance from the music video, because it is very unlike the usual SM [Entertainment] style, which really focuses on artists’ performance and dancing. I wanted to try something refreshing and surprise fans with something unconventional.” Q: What was the most challenging part of preparing this album? “There was definitely a lack of time, from my perspective. I wanted to dedicate more time and effort to really, really perfect the album to the best of my abilities. I am still pleased with how it came out and happy with the overall result, but I wish I had a little bit more time to focus on the smallest details and make sure everything was in its perfect place.” Q: And what did you enjoy the most about it? “The overall process has been very enjoyable, from the process of selecting the songs to setting the direction of the overall album. I was also very active and had multiple meetings with the director, and I remember one of the music video editors edited with me in the room as well. Even on the performance side, a lot of my ideas were incorporated. I really found the joy of creating and being original. The entire [process] has just been very memorable and joyful.”

Q: You began as a rapper in SHINee and gradually evolved into a singer. How was that process for you? “Rather than a shift or a transition in my role, it was more of an expansion of the spectrum of work that I can do. In the beginning, I felt like rapping was my stronger suit, so I wanted to focus more on [that]. But through more practice as a SHINee member, I was able to study and find the strength in my own voice, and I wanted to show people that, as an artist, I was now able to expand a little bit more and showcase a different style.” Q: As your experience with SHINee colours your solo work – from your skills to the album packaging – could you tell us one thing that each of the members has taught you? “It’s hard to pinpoint exactly which members have influenced me in which aspects, but there is a mutual desire among our group to constantly be better than ourselves. There is a bit of a healthy competition, of motivating and almost instigating each other to try hard and evolve as artists. And for this solo album, because the other members have already released [their solo material], I wanted to come back with my own personal colour and show something that is unique and exclusive, that [SHINee fans] Shawol haven’t been able to find in other members’ works.”

Q: The Netflix drama you starred in, The Fabulous, will premiere soon. How do you think that acting influences your work as an idol, and vice versa? “In the beginning, I saw it as two different types of work. But now, I see them as one big spectrum where I am able to work as an artist. There are definitely benefits that acting comes into my music, because I am constantly experiencing new roles. I remember that, because I had to study [to] act in roles that I hadn’t experienced before, it was very helpful in allowing that kind of expression in my music. Even the members have commented that since I focused on my acting career, it allowed me to better express the messages and the music on my own as well.” Q: What kind of artist do you want people to see you as? Who is Minho, through your own eyes? “Rather than having a specific side that I want to show as an artist, I wanted to let the public know that this is the kind of music I like, and this is the type of story and message that I wanted to share. Because I showed a lot of sides during the longevity of my career, I wanted to use [this solo debut] as an opportunity to show new sides of Minho as a solo artist, and as a member of SHINee.” Full Interview → HERE

[daydadahlias]

hi hii 🌸 weird questions for writers: 12, 17, 28 and 35 pls? ily

hii adi !! thank u for asking !! ily

12.  If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Wow, this is like the most interesting and fun question ever. I definitely wouldn’t wish for more wishes because that’s cheating duh. I’m trying to think of what I really struggle with while writing. I think my first wish would be to always remember those super fantastic 2 a.m. ideas I have but never write down. It’s literally the worst thing ever to go to bed having a super great idea and then waking up going “wait, shit, what was that idea again?” I think my second wish would be to always know how to end a scene! There are so many scenes I have that I think fall a little flat in their transition to the next one because I’m just going “oh shit I need to cut this off so I can get to the next.” So I would wish that I always knew the perfect transition line to end a scene. And my final wish… hmm. OOO it would to never have any continuity errors in my writing lol!! I’m not great at math so figuring out timing for fics and the timeline is always really confusing for me and I’m TOTALLY sure about half my fics have some type of plot hole related to the timeline. So, my third wish would be to always have an understandable and cohesive timeline in a fic that has no inconsistencies or continuity errors <3

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

I SHOULDNT! I shouldn’t get into it, Adi, you’ll be here for DAYS. I am having literally the time of my life writing up all the little background details for this fic right now (this is my lil chaptered groupie fic im working on) and I think Most of them will make their way into the text somehow so I won't give, like, too many spoilers But there’s also plenty of stuff that won’t make it in there! Like, I had to make up this fake band for the fic (Lovelace) and to do that, I had to plan their albums/setlist for their tour (so I knew what tf i was talking about when writing). And to do that, I had to write a little bit of every single song they have!! So for the last week or so, I made a masterdoc and wrote a verse or two from every single one of their songs (which is 24 songs so I'm kind of giving 5sos a run for their money). Obviously, a few of these lyrics will find their way into the fic (like I've already included some in the first chapter) but definitely not all of them (because a couple songs are written really badly lmao) so it’s just a pretty cool little secret thing to have to help me write !!! and then there’s also a lot of backstory/history about the forming of the band (and some band dynamic stuff) that me and Ashley have talked about but I don’t know how much of that will or won’t appear in the fic yet <3 there's also the whole planning all the venues and the shows dates and what hotels they're staying at aaaa. I could never work in the industry it's way too much planning. but i think the coolest part of the process so far has been designing and writing the albums <3  

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Aw this is a cute one. Hmm i think the answer is Take Notes Calum tbh!! He was so much fun to write and, honestly, I’ve really struggled trying to write any characters like him moving forward. Like he’s just kind of Weird. He’s very manic pixie dream boyfriend coded. I had the most fun writing Take Notes because it was so silly while also kind of serious and in most of my other work I struggle to really reattain that balance. Like I feel as though I tip either one way or the other and TN was really the only fic that rode the line super well. And I think that was in large part due to the way I wrote Calum in that fic so!! I really enjoyed him and wish I could write him again!!

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

Great question because there are a lot of writing “rules” i DO follow pretty closely so it’s hard to know exactly which ones I break. I’ve heard writers say to “avoid prologues” but I really love a prologue so that’s something. OO I will say !! a big rule of advice I got in high school creative writing was “don’t write a hobo in space story” (this is from a really good short story that talked about all the short stories you shouldn’t write lol) which is basically a story where two characters just hang out and talk and nothing really Happens except for them talking. And, honestly, i fucking love a hobo in space story. I love a scene where it’s just two dudes Talking. So i definitely do that sort of thing a lot even though i was told not to lol <3

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

“but my Hot Take is it totally was worthy of Album of the Year BEFORE John got killed.” Yes! As far as the songs are concerned it does kind of feel like an incomplete play because how do you go from I’m Moving On to Yes I’m Your Angel?? (I started out ironically liking this one now tralalala is the default ringtone in my brain). How would you rate the songs? :)

Just listened to the whole thing again to give a better answer. Fun birthday morning activity before I go brunching B)))))

(Just Like) Starting Over: Gorgeous. Fun. Beautiful. Immediately became one of my top John songs. The chords on this are gorgeous; masterful use of an augmented. Also the "but when I see you, darling" melody is perfect. This song just makes me incredibly happy. Also the bass is good :) 10/10

Kiss Kiss Kiss: I LOOOOOVE how much this messes with the previous vibe. It works so well. The opening guitars are v cool. Yoko's side 1 sound is so varied and does such cool blending of genres. Like there's a ska thing going on here? I am also lowkey um. kind of into her noises. 9/10

Cleanup-Time: this is definitely a silly-goofy song but it is suuuuuuuch a banger. I love the moments of high tension. "Now it begins" and the "well, well, well." bits. It adds a darkness to the song. The horn section went offffff. 9/10

Give Me Something: Absolutely Insane. the best use of Yoko's vocals and style imaginable. The production is immaculate. 10/10

I'm Losing You: Absolutely Insane Pt. II. The bridge bit "Now in the valley of indecision" is sooooo devastating (+ it's an obscure biblical reference! literary beatle At It Again). This song builds so well, I love how genuinely upset he sounds towards the end, breaking down on "Don't wanna hear about it!!!!" and generally how his voice gets nasty at certain moments. The song feels like slowly and extremely painfully discovering irreconcilable differences. The guitars in each verses breakdown moment sound like alarm bells. It's an immaculate breakup-or-almost song. The sound is so good, the harmonies are great. The guitar solo is crazy!!!!!! (it actually reminds me of George's work on How Do You Sleep? but without the cringe!!) THE PRODUCTION IS CRAZY OKAY?????? 10/10

I'm Moving On: the most insane follow-up to the previous song. He laid his deepest fears bear and she said "And What Of It???" The lyric "When you were angry you had love in your voice" keeps me up at night. But BANGER of a bassline and funky fresh nonetheless. Most effective song transition on the album and most of them are good to great! 9.5/10

Beautiful Boy: Absolute devastation aside, I must confess I find this song a little more boring musically. Though I do appreciate the adventurousness of the vocoder and the bridge is gorgeous. The outro is nice and really relaxing. 7/10

Watching The Wheels: I love John Lennon and I want him to be okay :( also the way the song slows down at the end of the chorus is soooooooo much to me. Like it hurts my heart. I like his talk-singing here, it really works for the vibe. The lyrics are kind of depressing despite the fact they're on the surface positive. But I think the question of what constitutes a happy life is interesting and deep at its core. 8/10

Yes, I'm Your Angel: I love that John is sharing an album with a granny song again. Nature is healing. I vibe with this and it suits Yoko surprisingly well. Tralala, as you say. But it's insane of Yoko to call John her fairy. Girl. STOP. 7/10

Woman: It's distinctly more boring than anything else John wrote for this album but I do enjoy it and find it sweet for the most part (aside from the horrors). The production reminds me a lot of Here, There and Everywhere. 6/10

Beautiful Boys: this is the least good one. It is just musically pretty uninteresting and the lyrics are kind of clunky. But the intro and instrumental bits sound cool tbh and I like how the production builds. "You've got all you can carry / And still feel somehow empty." OKAY???? 5/10

Dear Yoko: cute!! The sounds are very fun. "Even when I watch TV / There's a hole where you're supposed to be / There's no body lying next to me" is soooooooo much. I like the silly voice he puts on and I LOOOOVE the spoken bit at the end :((( 7/10

Every Man Has A Woman Who Loves Her: The production is good I just wish the song itself was better and it's too long. I like John providing backing vocals because it makes sense given the content. I feel like if this was just FASTER it would be great. The solo reminds me of ABBA. 6/10

Hard Times Are Over: I like this song!! It's sweet. The melodies are good, very cool playing between minor and major. I also like how the "over" ties back in with Starting Over. It works well as an album closer. Though Of Course, one begins to wonder what these hard times were exactly when the album cut off mid-conflict. Makes You Think. (This album gives me brainrot!!!!) Anyway I like Yoko's vocal here a lot and I like John joining on the refrains in the background :) 7.5/10

In conclusion: Double Fantasy good

[9w1ft]

Hiii

Wanted to comment on something and maybe see if you can share your thoughts on this if you feel like it

I was reflecting on the kaylor aspects of ttpd as an album, and thinking that this time and in contrast with previous albums, the kaylor look is less kind or “favorable” so to say, I mean also as in “evident”

Previous works had clearly “love” songs for Karlie, whereas this time around I can’t find that song here… I know it’s not the tone of the album, and also I do notice several kaylor themes and pieces, but so very scattered here and there, but not anymore the kaylor anthems/love declarations.

on the contrary, there is a lot of veiled resentment (probably because people thought this was gonna be a breakup album). And by all this I don’t intend to comment on the status of kaylor, which I think is alive and well and thriving, I just mean the songs

Having said that, Robin is the ultimate love declaration for kk.

Thanks. Curious to know your opinions on this.

so i feel like we went through this same thing with evermore so maybe that affects my perception of things in that this doesn’t feel like a new development. personally i think that it’s just not the album for grand declaration love songs. this album allowed taylor to talk about a lot of the aspects of their relationship that have been hard because people judge them. and she’s doing it in a way she can get away with because of the narrative she set into motion.

actually the transition from lover to folklore was interesting to me for this reason. lover and rep had so many kaylor love songs and it had me thinking, well god, she can’t just go on making the same level of love song for forever! and especially when joe (angel boyfriend) is still here! and then she switched it up to fictional characters and i thought that was so clever. as a way to sing more about the relationship in different ways without stressing swifties. and then she’s gotten the chance to sing about so many different things with the following albums. and contemporary kaylor things! which i didn’t think we’d get a window into so soon.

and there are some good love songs on this album besides. it’s also a 31 song album so it’s gonna feel even more like less. one other point is i really feel like we got kaylor or kaylorified songs in the re-records as well, where i really didn’t expect them. so there’s really been a constant hum all this time where it really wouldn’t be if they weren’t a thing. anyway, not to jinx it but i’m willing to venture a guess that when the travis album comes, i think we can expect more of the kind of love songs you’re thinking of!