#that takes me back; i was really unqualified to do this back then!

[konfizry]

Title: Rokurou repays a debt

Artist: Katsura ichiho

Source : Tales of Berseria Comic Anthology (DNA Media Comics), Chapter 10

Nb pages: 8

Link: Full res on imgur

[saigethearies]

saige’s terrortober presents…

offering

unbeknownst to you, zeke has chosen you to be his cult’s next virgin sacrifice. a pining eren knows exactly what he needs to do to save you.

cultist!eren jaeger x fem!reader

contents/warnings: mentions of murder, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, praise, corruption kink, breeding, protective and possessive eren, mentions of ‘purity’

wc: 2k

18+ MINORS DNI

eren felt as if time had frozen around him when the name of the chosen sacrifice tumbled from zeke’s lips.

your name.

you, the kind girl from his english lecture.

you, who gives him a pencil when he forgets his own.

you, who explains assignments to him with patient words.

you, who shares whatever snack you’ve brought without hesitation.

you, with your soft smile and sweet laugh, who was going to be cut to death on the altar zeke stood behind this upcoming equinox.

“she’s a virgin?” floch’s grimy voice pulled eren back to reality, and it took every ounce of the self-control that already came scarce to him to refrain from knocking the ginger’s teeth in. “could have had me fooled, way too pretty for her cherry not to be popped.”

zeke chuckled at floch’s remark. “my source is never wrong, she’s completely pure. she probably will be our cutest offer yet, though.”

they were gonna kill you, he was supposed to kill you. eren thinks about you when he falls asleep, when he wakes up, and all the hours in between. his little crush that’s been festering since the beginning of the semester would come to a thrilling conclusion when he hands his brother the dagger.

he couldn’t let it happen.

to hell with the brotherhood, he wouldn’t let them take you away from him.

eren knew the sacrifice always had to be a virgin, that was the one golden rule since the founders first drew blood centuries ago.

ascending up the hidden catacomb’s stairs after zeke adjourned the meeting, eren already had his plan mapped out- he just couldn’t tell if he was thinking more with his brain or his dick.

it was time for him to make you unqualified.

____

“thanks for offering to tutor me, i really need it,” eren said with a smile, opening the door to his room.

“it’s no problem! i needed something to do this afternoon, anyways!”

you had that smile on your face again, a little twinkle in your eye as you looked up at him. damn, you were so beautiful. he hoped he could pull this off.

within a few minutes, the two of you were sitting on his bed, you holding a textbook open in your lap as you pointed to different literary techniques. eren’s gaze kept drifting off of the pages and onto the exposed skin of your legs, little skirt you were wearing riding up as you sat.

you trailed off in your description of a motif when you felt a warm hand on your thigh. blinking, you turned to see eren’s face extremely close.

“...is everything okay?” you asked slowly, face heating up. men were never in your personal space like this, much less one as attractive as eren. the proximity was causing you to become flustered.

you tried to stand, get some distance between the two of you, only to trip and land right on eren’s lap. your startled eyes met his shining sea green ones, and the urge to kiss him surged through you.

eren knew he was about to have you right where he wanted, having enough past flings to know the tells of a woman. he just needed to give you one more little push, one more and then he can put his plan into motion.

bringing a hand to cup your cheek, he spoke to you softly. “can i kiss you?”

“i…”

“we don’t have to do anything if you’re uncomfortable,” he said, stroking your face tenderly as if your life wasn’t currently hanging in the balance.

eren’s care felt genuine to you and your eyelids fluttered shut, leaning your lips up to meet his. the kiss was careful, eren gently applying pressure as if he didn’t want to do too much and scare you away.

you felt a shiver run down your spine when his tongue slid into your mouth, trying not to make your lack of experience obvious as he explored the wet cavern.

a hand going under your skirt, however, had you jolting. grabbing eren’s wrist before he could go further, you broke away from his lips with a pant. “wait!”

“what is it?” he asked, already knowing full well what the answer would be.

“i’ve never…you know…” you trailed off, and something about the look on his face told you that he understood perfectly.

“do you want to?”

please say yes, say yes so he can protect you.

you bit your lip, unsure. you knew nothing about sex, and the unknown was always nerve wracking to you. on the other hand, you had this nice, handsome guy that you were already acquainted with offering to take your virginity.

not many girls get this type of opportunity…

you nodded. “yeah, can we please just go slow?”

“of course, princess, we can go as slow as you want.”

it didn’t matter how you wanted it, all that mattered was that eren’s cock got to split your virgin cunt open.

his fingers resumed their trek up your inner thigh, tracing the outline of your panties.

“i’m gonna prep you first, okay, baby? make it hurt less.”

“okay,” you replied, breath hitching when you felt eren’s thumb slide into your underwear, immediately going to rub circles into your sensitive nub.

the stimulation had you jerking instantly, not familiar with the pleasure that was being inflicted on you.

“oh-oh!”

“that feel good?” he asked, sliding a finger into your pussy that was growing slicker by the second.

“mhm.”

this felt so much different than from when you’d play with yourself, not realizing how electrifying it was to have fingers between your folds that weren’t yours.

he added his index finger into your pussy, dark desire twisting his insides at how tightly you clamped on that one finger. starting to pump in and out slowly, eren cooed at you.

“relax, princess, ‘m gonna take care of you. you’re gonna be okay, yeah?”

you nodded at his words, not knowing the double meaning behind them. eren started to thrust his finger faster, rubbing against your bud with more intent. mewls left your lips at the sensation, humping his hand pathetically.

eren’s eyes were trained on you. the sight of you crumbling and succumbing to a man’s touch for the first time was breathtaking. the brunette was starting to think this could be love.

your thighs were quaking around his hand, slick dripping all over his lap. he relished in the mess, knowing that now you were probably loosened up enough.

“alright, pretty girl,” he kissed underneath your ear. “i think you’re ready for my cock.”

he gently maneuvered you off of his lap and onto his bed, lowering you down with so much care it made your throat feel tight. tugging your panties off before taking his own shirt off, he looked down at you.

“can you show me those pretty titties, princess?”

you blinked up at him dreamily, obeying his command as your shirt joined his on the floor. not even a second had passed after your bra fell from your shoulders when his large hands were cupping your breasts, squeezing at them in a way that had your eyes screwing shut.

“eren!”

he gave you a little kiss on your forehead as he leaned over you, palms leaving your chest as he grabbed a pillow to place under your hips. you took a deep breath, trying to settle your jittery nerves as you observed eren remove the rest of his clothing.

eren stopped you when you tried to take your skirt off.

“leave it.”

he pushed it out of the way, your glossy cunt appearing. the view of you completely naked with just your skirt bunched around your waist had eren’s mind shortcircuiting. he wanted to burn this image into his memory forever, and knowing he would be the first person to ever see you like this was even better.

if he had it his way, he’d be the only.

spreading your thighs open wider, eren slotted himself in between them. he grabbed hold of your hips, bringing them closer in a way that had your whole body being dragged down the bed. you yelped at his display of strength.

“sorry, princess,” he said with a sheepish smile. his tip prodded at your entrance. “deep breath f’ me, okay?”

the way he pierced you open was addicting, every inch of his dick spearing your virgin walls had your toes curling. you didn’t expect penetration to feel this good the first time. all your friends told you it would hurt the first several tries, but leave it to eren jaeger to throw you for yet another loop.

you felt his pubic bone become flush against yours.

“taking all of me your very first go? such a good fucking girl, damn.”

it was done. your virginity was his. zeke could no longer butcher you on that cold, stone altar in front of his whole brotherhood. eren had never felt so proud of himself, the knowledge that his girl was now safe and sound due to his plan had his skin tingling in excitement. he tightened his grip on your hips, trying so hard to keep himself grounded. he had promised you slow.

yet, as always, you proved to be heaven-sent.

“eren,” you babbled to him. “move, please! wan’ you to move.”

the frenzied gleam in his eye made your pussy throb. the brunette wasted no time in listening to your plea, bucking into you like his life depended on it- oh, the irony.

you screamed out, hands flying to fist the sheets beside you as eren kept your pelvis locked in place, subject to thrust after thrust of his cock. the pleasure was already swirling inside you as if it was a tornado, the high that was building from earlier now picking back up its rise.

“feel so good, so good, fuck.”

never had he been in a cunt this warm and tight. eren intended on molding it to the shape of him, ruining it for anyone else. he’d make sure you wouldn’t even want anyone else.

“perfect, princess,” he grit out. “fucking perfect pussy.”

his praise and pace made you feel lightheaded, falling further into the haze of ecstasy he was shrouding you in. you weren’t sure how much more you could take.

“i-i think ‘m close…”

“yeah? me too baby.”

with the way you were gripping him, it was a miracle eren hadn’t already busted. he angled his hips to hit even deeper, adding a finger to your clit again in hopes of finishing the both of you off.

“where do you want me?”

your answer shocked him. “inside!”

fuck, you were gonna be the death of him.

“my princess wants to be filled up, huh?”

who was he to deny you?

one final plunge into your walls timed perfectly with the rub of his thumb had you clenching hard on his dick, muscles spasming as you orgasmed. eren was spurred into his own climax, spilling into you. his eyes were glued to your face, your cockdrunk expression almost enchanting to him as he watched you fall apart.

slowly pulling out, the brunette was in awe at his cum leaking out of you. deciding to worry about his sheets later, he crawled up the bed to see your drooping eyes.

laying down next to you, eren engulfed your frame with his. he held your head against his chest as you drifted off, exhaustion taking over.

____

zeke put his book down as he heard his phone ping, surprised to see he had gotten a text from eren. his brother hardly ever messaged him.

his interest was piqued even more when he saw it was a picture.

opening the image, however, had zeke wanting to chuck the device across the room.

while eren made sure to have the covers pulled up enough, the blonde could still tell it was you from your side profile resting on his brother’s torso.

another ping.

“you might need to pick a new offering, my bad.”

zeke knew the smug bastard didn’t feel guilty in the slightest.

____

saige’s terrortober masterlist

[hazelfoureyes]

How are you so good at writing smut??? It legit makes my body warm all over and my brain fuzzy, you fucking smut wizard <3 do you have any tips on writing smut? Or just writing in general?

Thank you for such a compliment! 💖🥹This is mildly embarrassing-- but I really am so horny?? I am not playing a character. lol I am a goblin. When I watch porn (for pleasure) I just take in the sounds and the sights, really just going full art reviewer on that shit for inspo even when I'm not trying to.

"Wow his cock got so big suddenly, is he going to cum? his head his massive...omg he sunk it right back into that guy after he came?? he's still going!? DICKS CAN DO THAT?" *takes mental notes*

"Her hips kept pulling away there before she orgasmed, overstimulated a bit maybe, love how he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back down" *jots down on my notes app*

"wow the way he said that-- jesus I just got dizzy I need to hear <whatever character> say that." *writes Luci saying that shit immediately* I am unqualified to give tips on anything, but I'll tell you what I tend to do! For smut; I just focus on sensations, I think. We can all see what sex looks like! Imagining the feeling of it, that's whats so fucking hot to me. Why is that man moaning? What is he feeling that is so good? What made her legs shake like that? Yeah his dick went into her pussy. Nice. But like---- was it warm? did his head get caught on the way in, popping past that unyielding flesh untrained to his size, just at her entrance? did the feeling of wet walls and a tight grip make him go weak for a second, mind blank?

For general writing; oh geez....I have a super visual brain, so I just try my best to describe what I'm seeing.

If it feels like I've forced someone to say or do something, then I back up and try again.

I wrote a part in A Doe in Fall part 4 that I had to redo; I had reader slap the detective when he suggested maybe she was hitting on him, a man coming to intervene making Brady get nervous and apologize before leaving all flustered.

But I realized--- no, this reader is too smart. She would never make a scene like that, she wouldn't know what might happen. What if everyone watches her then sit with Alastor? What if people notice and somehow remember seeing him? What if they recognize him? I loved the scene but I had to remove it. She would never do that, even if I loved seeing it.

I try to just shut down a little and see what my brain throws out unfiltered. It's really mentally taxing. I'm either 100% focused or I can't do it. I proofread maybe 6 or 7 times, or more. I don't stop until I get through it at least once without edits, and if I find myself bored of reading it, then I walk away for a second. If I am too disinterested to read it again for proofreading or just feeling the flow of it, then why would anyone else want to?

Hazbin Smut Masterlist I spent way too long rereading before posting

I felt this like this wasn’t helpful at all 😭

[the-s1lly-corner]

May I request the cast of Tadc x reader, whose y/n is a mermaid? I already imagine that yn would be right in the digital lake, singing or combing her hair like Ariel-

TADC cast x mermaid!reader !

this one may be a little short since my back is already starting to get all... stiff... sobs.... might go lay down for a few minutes then come back and knock out the other request that got sent in !!

CAINE:

caine is a little perplexed as to why you stay at the lake all the time, your room does have water... though, to be fair, your room is blocked off and small. i think it would take him a while to directly interact with you but just know that every night when you sing hes listening to you... actually now that i think about it, i dont think it would take him long to make himself known, he would probably clap and applaud you after one of your personal performances... probably makes sailor jokes, because, you know, sea stuff and mermaid lore... wants to include you more in stuff so he probably does IHAs that are lake themed, or perhaps makes something sort of like a portable tank..

POMNI:

she probably mistakes you for an NPC for a moment LMAO... i was going to go with an idea that pomni would be into mythology and stuff but now that i think about it, i actually see the opposite now thats more of something i can see zooble and gangle being into... not many ideas for pomni, unfortunately, but i think she would be friendly around you for manners

RAGATHA:

she thinks your really pretty, i think... while ragatha doesnt strike me as the type to be into mythology and stuff, i think she subconsciously is attracted to you because she grew up on stories about mermaids, fairies, and princesses... sure she doesnt remember all that since shes gotten stuck in the digital world, but the instinct to be near you is still there... i think if she got caught listening to you sing she would be so embarrassed, probably tries to excuse herself unless you tell her she can stay.. having someone come by down to the lake is nice, to finally have company

JAX:

has probably snagged your comb and darted to the shore of the lake far enough so that you cant reasonably crawl out of the water and grab it back, assuming you actively need water to survive instead of mobility... but either is really mean in my opinion.. toss him into the water/j actually i dont think he can swim, jax doesnt look like the kind of person to swim.. omg omg bonding moment for when you two get closer, imagine teaching him how to (admin never learned how to swim so theyre unqualified to write this </3)

KINGER:

rarely leaves the tent but lets say he goes down to the lake one day while you happen to be out.. similar to pomni i think he would mistake you for an NPC simply because you are almost never in the tent... i think he would enjoy your singing, though, very calming and it eases him.. quietly listens and returns a few times when he sees youre out. meek apologies when hes caught, hes almost sheepish about it and admits that he should have asked before getting up in your business.. ooo i love this man

ZOOBLE:

"so like, do you drown people," just straight up, probably asks this after a day of jax being more annoying than usual... as mentioned earlier i think they would be really into mythological creatures and lore, as well as cryptids, both before and after joining the circus... sure you probably arent lore accurate to mermaid stories in the real world, but i think they would like to learn about youre whole deal.. sometimes helps you get stuff out of your hair if things get tangled up

GANGLE:

gangle is what gets tangled up in your hair^/j

no but i think she would also be very interested in your whole deal, but is less blunt about it unlike zooble... also thinks your pretty.. i think she would bring stuff down to the lake for you guys to do together, like games and drawing stuff... its nice for the both of you to be away from everyone else but still have company in someone who knows what its like to be cast to the side; be it due to shyness or being locked to a place

[wangxianficrecs]

A Thousand Things by tickertape

A Thousand Things

by tickertape

M, 108k, Wangxian

Summary: Wei Ying can’t find his words. “What would I do in Gusu?” The man’s mouth quirks in what Wei Ying cannot interpret as anything but a tiny, smug smirk. “Learn.” Wei Ying has made a fine life for himself. He’s got his jiejies and his talismans; he doesn’t need anyone’s charity. But spending a whole year in Gusu? That’s hard to turn down. Kay's comments: A Wangxian My Fair Lady AU is something I never knew I needed until I started reading this story. It's such a great idea and wonderfully done, it works to well! A story, where Wei Wuxian doesn't get adopted by the Jiangs but still ends up with some cultivation talent, enough to sell talismans and make a living. Eventually, Lan Qiren stumbles upon him and gets humbled so good by him that he decides to take him to Gusu so that he gets properly trained. Cue: the slowest of burns between Wangxian that's so worth it though. Really loved how the characters are portrayed! Excerpt: The man huffs, a derisive sound. “You may be clever, but you are not a professional by any standard.” “I’m paid for my work. That makes it my profession.” “You are untrained and thus cannot profess to be qualified by any official standard,” the Lan teacher retorts. In the same scathing tone, he mutters, “Not to mention your attitude and illegible script.” Asshole. Wei Ying scowls at him. “So, I’m unqualified and you’re discourteous. Seems we’re both flawed men, yet here you are using my work to educate your students.” The man balks minutely at that, and one of the white-clad students makes an indignant noise. Wei Ying continues: “My pieces are valuable enough to the people who buy from me. If I’m not good enough to meet your qualified, highly-trained standards, then please feel free to pass me by.” He can’t quite hold himself back from one last jibe. “I’d like to see your students recreate even one of my talismans half so well.” The daozhang opens his mouth as if to speak, but then pauses. Wei Ying watches his eyes move over the table once more. He forces himself to recompose, straightening his shoulders and loosening his hands from where they had been unconsciously gripping at his robes. Composure, dignity, control: the three most important qualities to display when facing the world. No sleeves on fire today. But Wei Ying has never been the best with keeping his composure; he’s too spurred by his own wild thoughts, prone to ‘fits of inspiration’ as Qing-jiejie likes to call them.

pov wei wuxian, canon divergence, wei wuxian isn't adopted by the jiangs, wei wuxian goes to gusu, rogue cultivator wei wuxian, genius wei wuxian, inventor wei wuxian, developing friendships, developing relationship, strangers to lovers, misunderstandings, miscommunication, nightmares, class differences, panic attacks, night hunts, cloud recesses shenanigans, cloud recesses rabbits, slow burn, wei wuxian has a fear of dogs

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[shih-coulda-had-it]

DELIRIUM with Nana and young Toshi if you'd like?

WAYYY LONGER THAN 10 SENTENCES, but you were also the only one who asked for the fic prompts so. :D

context: Toshinori noticed his Quirkless friends were signing up for a sketchy summer camp (like, you know those paper ads taped on street sign posts with the numbers? Do Not Emulate This Behavior), and realizing that pro-heroes didn't have jurisdiction over non-Quirk issues, didn't tell Nana and Sorahiko ahead of time that he would 'infiltrate' and take down the program from the inside. It is due to sheer luck and a nagging instinct that Nana goes, "Hey, where is my apprentice."

//

When Sorahiko told Nana that she had picked up a trouble magnet, Nana wisely made the decision not to correct him. Young Toshinori did not attract trouble; he chased after it with all the passion and single-mindedness of a bloodhound, armed with nothing more than his fists if he couldn’t find a convenient meter-long pipe. Giving One for All to Toshinori was going to enable his terribly blasé approach to self-preservation, but at least it would give him a tool to save his life.

She regretted not having given One for All to him already. If he’d had it, maybe he wouldn’t be trapped in this cabin, waiting for a ‘camp counselor’ to unbar the door from the outside. 

Yeah, she was definitely giving Toshinori One for All when he turned fourteen. Sorahiko could scream into his hands all he wanted.

Nana let herself into the unlit cabin, closed the door behind her, cracked a glow stick and tried not to scream herself, seeing Toshinori’s body sprawled on the wooden floor. She bolted to his side and scanned for injuries, but the light from the glow stick was dim and green. The most she could discern were the zipties around his wrists and ankles.

Her young successor flinched awake when Nana touched his shoulder. He stared at her, uncomprehendingly, with his mouth partially opened in a gasp. He looked his age for once.

“Toshinori-shonen,” she opened, intending to sound brisk and business-like, because the alternative was to sound like his mother, which she clearly was unqualified to be. Before Nana could get another word in, Toshinori scrambled to get further away, pressing his back to the wall.

“You can’t be her,” Toshinori said. His voice trembled, and the automatic shaking of his head made his bangs swish back and forth. He wouldn’t meet her eyes. “You’re not really here. Oshishou wouldn’t come get me, because I got myself into this mess, and I have to get myself out. I didn’t--I didn’t even leave her a message. Who are you, really?”

“Kiddo, it’s me.”

“I’m not falling for that!”

“Shh!” Nana looked back towards the door, raising her hands like she could stifle the sound. Distractedly, she said, “Toshinori-shonen, you haven’t answered any of my calls for the past week, and you left a paper trail. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

“A paper trail?” he echoed. “I didn’t! Who are you?!”

Nana shushed him again but was startled by his clumsy tackle, and the ineffective flailing of his pointy elbows and knees. She yelped and dropped the glow stick.

“I’m not gonna let you trick me,” Toshinori babbled, thrashing like a fish out of water. “Oshishou isn’t coming for me, because I didn’t tell her anything! She’s not going to waste her time trying to find some stupid Quirkless kid! And--and--!”

“Toshinori!” she snapped, and grappled her kid so he was flat on his stomach. Without hesitation, Nana reached up and broke the plastic around his wrists using One for All. “All Might, it’s me. Seventh Wonder. I’m here.” She let Toshinori up to roll around, and she sat back on her heels as he slowly, painfully propped himself upright.

“But you can’t be. I--I lied to you.”

“You did say you needed a vacation,” Nana said in a tone so dry, Toshinori cracked a nervous smile. She gestured towards his ziptied ankles. “You okay to handle that? We’re jailbreaking this camp, and I thought you’d like to free yourself first.”

“Did Gran Torino come with you?” He rubbed his forearms, chafed his palms, and then leaned forward to look at the restraint. It was digging into the skin. Nana hoped that Toshinori would ask for help--that he would believe that Nana had come to rescue him.

“He’s raring to kick some ass.”

“They’re not using Quirks,” Toshinori told her. He found one end of the ziptie and started tightening the loop. “That’s how I know you’re not real. I have to do it. Oshishou and Gran Torino are pro-heroes, they wouldn’t risk their licenses breaking the law. I’m handling it. I’m handling it, I swear.”

Okay, next plan after giving Toshinori One for All: a secretive lecture about Gran Torino’s historical breaking of the law.

Nana intervened with whatever harebrained idea Toshinori had about ripping the ziptie by jamming one gloved finger between plastic and flesh. It was easier to do so with the ankles than the wrists, especially with how bony Toshinori was. Her kid froze.

“Gran Torino’s out of uniform right now,” she reassured him. “He’s going to pretend to be a speedster, call an anonymous tip to the local heroes, and beat the snot out of the counselors for as long as he can. I’m going to smash into the scene like I’ve been chasing my arch-nemesis once I get you secured.

“With a little bit of theatrical flying and property damage, we’ll uncover the barracks and get the kids out. You have the choice of joining Gran Torino in the getaway car, or staying with the kids to provide a soundbite and evidence. Understand?”

He blinked, several times. And in a small voice, Toshinori asked, “Oshishou?”

She smiled at him, and with a flash of One for All, broke the second ziptie. “That’s me, Toshinori-shonen.”

[softguarnere]

hi dove! i can't believe i've never requested anything on your blog! could you possibly write a enemies to lovers - lewis nixon x reader? maybe where feelings are discovered after one of them gets hurt/captured/something like that! you know i'm a sucker for angst with tons of fluff! thanks for being awesome!

mads <3

Coming Clean

Lewis Nixon x reader

A/N: omg hi Mads! Thank you so much for the request 🤗 I love your work (especially the way you write Nix) so I really hope you enjoy this! I edited and wrote the last half of this fic while sick, so if this is totally incoherent, that's why - and I'll just have to do my best to fix it when I'm better😆 (As always this is written for the fictional depictions from the show - no disrespect to the real life veterans!) 💕🕊️ Warnings: language, mentions of war

“I am not being overdramatic,” Nixon insists in what can only fairly be described as a rather theatrical tone. 

Dick only glances up from across the table, an eyebrow quirked as he studies his friend. He nods slightly. Thank you for proving my point, the gesture seems to say.

“Nix,” he says, his tone serious, even though he opts for his friend’s nickname instead of a more reprimanding Lewis. “I don’t think comparing anyone to Sobel is fair.”

Nixon drops his fork and holds his hands up in surrender. “Whoa, okay. All I said was that if she wanted to, (Y/N) could give him a run for his money. That’s all.”

“They’re nothing alike,” Dick deadpans.

Nothing alike? A bit nondramatic, in Nixon’s opinion. An understatement for sure. He starts to protest, but Dick cuts him off.

“I think the two of you just got off on the wrong foot.”

Scoffing, Nixon leans back in his chair. “Well, I wouldn’t call overhearing someone explicitly talking about how they think you’re unqualified for your job getting off on the wrong foot. But close enough, I guess.”

“That’s not what I said.”

The voice is enough to startle both Nixon and Winters – although the ginger presses his lips together in a way that suggests he’s only just managing to repress a smile as he takes in your arrival on the scene. Nixon, on the other hand, has to forcibly close his mouth to stop from gaping at your sudden presence.

“What I said,” you continue. “was that I wasn’t sure how well a Yale man would hold his ground amongst the other officers.”

A frown tugs at the corners of Nixon’s mouth. For once, he’s grateful that part of his upbringing included lessons in how to conceal one’s true emotions lest someone gain the upper hand by using them against him. He presses his lips into a thin line and steels himself.

“Remind me where you studied again, Lieutenant?”

Your face pales. Bingo! You may have had him there for a second, but he’s struck a nerve.

“It was just a joke,” you say, your voice quiet.

Nixon only shrugs before turning back to Dick. There are footsteps as you walk away, but he doesn’t turn to see you go. Instead, he tries to concentrate on his tray of food. Tries being the operative word, since Dick seems intent on staring at him with that look of utter disappointment on his face that could make a saint feel guilty.

“What?” He stabs some broccoli with his fork, not looking up.

Dick sighs. “It was a joke, Nix.”

The potatoes on the corner of his tray are his next victim. Unseasoned and questionably cooked as they are, Nixon still puts all his focus into getting them firmly on his fork.

“Why does it bother you so much?”

Now he looks up. “Huh?”

“The joke,” Dick clarifies. “Why did it bother you so much?”

It’s not so much that the jab at his alma mater bothers him. It’s just . . . Huh. Why does it bother him? The way it’s said, perhaps, or the people it was said in front of. After all, it was one of the first things that you said upon Nixon’s arrival after his promotion. Not a good look for a newcomer in such a prestigious position. If he wanted people to poke fun at him despite his achievements, he could have just stayed home.

Sure, that’s probably it, he tells himself. You’ve just hit a nerve. No need to psychoanalyze this whole thing.

To Dick’s question, he only shrugs.

His friend, thankfully, does not press the issue.

. . .

Lewis Nixon, you’re beginning to realize, does not forgive and forget.

Well, that’s too bad, because all the other officers seem to think that he’s funny and charming. And they’re right. But clearly those qualities are not on display whenever you’re around. And you’re not about to ingratiate yourself to him by groveling for forgiveness over some stupid offhanded joke.

Too bad. Because you’re a big enough person to admit that despite his flaws, Lewis Nixon has his good qualities – not to mention that he’s handsome.

“Why are you staring at me?”

The sudden question draws you out of your thoughts. You blink, back in the present moment.

“Pardon?”

“You’re staring at me,” Nixon says. He doesn’t look up from the stack of mail that he’s censoring, intent on his work.

You avert your gaze, trying to ignore the heat you feel rushing to your cheeks. The words on the letter in front of you turn to nonsense the more you try to focus on them. If you work hard enough, you won’t be tempted to let your thoughts wander to the man sitting across the table from you.

“Here.” A letter lands on top of the one you’re reading as Nixon, once again, interrupts your thoughts. Startled, you look up to find him looking at you rather expectantly.

The letter he’s tossed to you looks familiar. It takes you a moment to realize that it’s written in your handwriting – a letter that you wrote to your family back in the states. When you glance up at him, he turns back to his own work.

“You spelled accommodate wrong. Thought you might want to fix it before sending it off to your family.”

Oh of course he would point out your mistake like that! Anyone else would have let it go. Your family will be so thrilled by the letter that they wouldn’t even give the misspelling a second thought.

The sigh that you push through your nose comes out louder than you expect it to. Nixon, however, doesn’t look up. Swallowing your pride, you aim for a tone that’s halfway pleasant.

“Thank you, Nixon.”

Is it your imagination, or does the corner of his mouth twitch slightly? A smirk, perhaps.

“You’re welcome, (Y/L/N).”

. . .

Though the world no longer trembles with the barrage of artillery fire, you keep your hands pressed firmly over your ears, staying low in the foxhole. Is it the cold causing you to shake, or the adrenaline that still courses through your veins?

You had been out making rounds when the shelling began, just trying to make sure that the rest of Easy Company was okay. The shellings are always unexpected, but this one caught you out in the open, exposed. You had had to dive into the nearest foxhole, hoping for the best as you hid from the explosions just outside.

Someone had grunted when you fell into the foxhole, your elbow connecting with their stomach. There had been no chance to apologize over the loud, cracking booms that filled the air.

After a shelling, there always seems to be a moment – a split second, really – of silence before it all goes to hell again. Then the calls for a medic will break out and everyone will jump into action, throwing around orders amid the screams and groans of the injured.

Now, as you wait for the few seconds of silence, you feel the person beneath you shift.

“Sorry,” you mutter, your arms shaking as you attempt to push yourself off of them.

“Christ,” a familiar voice grumbles. “My fucking ribs.”

Nixon’s voice is all the motivation that you need to push yourself the rest of the way off of him. Still full of adrenaline, you push yourself back on your heels, staying low in the foxhole, but ready to leave at a moment’s notice.

The Princeton man rubs his ribs. “You came out of nowhere. That really – “ He pauses, his expression shifting into one that you’ve never seen on him before as his brows furrow. Gently, he leans towards you. “Hey, (Y/N). Are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine.”

“You look – “

Ka-BOOM!

The air splits in two as the second round starts. The shell must hit somewhere very near your foxhole, because the reverberations its impact sends through the ground cause you to topple forward, straight into Nixon.

Before you can even think about pushing yourself away from him again, something strange happens: you feel his arms wrap around you, drawing you in, close and tight, as the barrage continues. You bury your face in his shoulder.

When the second round ends, you both remain still, breathing heavily as you wait for whatever comes next. Only when it’s clear that the Germans are no longer firing do you pull away from each other. Neither of you looks the other in the eye.

“Sorry about your ribs.”

“Huh? Oh. They’re fine.”

Neither of you leaves the foxhole until absolutely necessary. And the next time that the Germans begin firing, when you somehow find yourself back in the same foxhole, neither of you seem to question how easily you wrap your arms around each other, bracing for the impacts and explosions.

The fog of war is a hell of a thing.

. . .

“Medic! We need a medic!”

The call is so unexpected that Nixon actually stops midsentence and turns his attention towards the panicked voice. Several others follow suit. After all, in the middle of Berchtesgaden, who would need a medic? It’s not like they’re in combat. And there’s nothing and no one around that should be putting anyone in danger.

Dick jumps into action immediately. Of course he does; he cares so deeply for his men – anyone can see that. It’s especially evident in this moment as he steps forward to intercept the panicked looking Talbert.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“(Y/L/N) needs a medic.”

Despite his wishes, Nixon feels his heart skip a beat at the mention of your name. It’s because of the startling and unusual news that Tab is delivering, he tells himself.

“For what?” he asks at the same time that Dick takes charge of the situation, charging down the street they’ve been standing on, yelling out that he needs to find Doc Roe.

As soldiers snap to attention trying to find the trusted medic, Nixon moves closer to Talbert.

“What happened to (Y/L/N)?”

Talbert takes a step back, his eyes wide, like he’s being confronted by a madman. Sure, Nixon’s tone was a little demanding – a little worried – but there’s really no need for the other man to look so shocked.

“A couple of us were out exploring the woods,” Tab explains. “She caught her ankle on a root and tripped. Might be just a sprain, but it looks pretty nasty.”

“Where is she now?”

“We got her back to the house that she was quartering in – Hey! Nix, where are you going?”

Talbert’s voice fades behind him as Nixon rushes down the street. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s vaguely aware of people stopping to stare at him as he passes, his pace a barely restrained run.

Several shocked faces look up at him when he bursts into the house. He stops in the doorway of the living room, staring into where you are.

You sit on the couch, one leg propped up beside you. Other than the swelling in your ankle, you look okay – if not a little surprised, that is, to see Nixon gaping at you like this. For what it’s worth, the few Easy men who are scattered throughout the living room look just as stunned.  

“(Y/N),” Nixon breathes. Coming back to himself, he clears his throat, willing his heart rate to slow down to normal levels.

“Um . . . I think we should – we should maybe clear out, yeah guys? Give (Y/N) some room to breathe,” Babe suggests.

Casting glances between you and Nixon, the other men squeeze past him in the doorway as they make their way out of the house. Behind him, the door closes, but Nixon doesn’t move. Somewhere within the house, through all the silence between the two of you, a clock chimes to signal the top of the hour.

“Can I help you?” You finally ask.

“We’re at the end of the war.” Nixon’s voice, once again, is louder than he intended it to be. He clears his throat again before pushing on. “We’re at the end of the war, and you somehow got hurt.”

“I tripped in the woods. So what?”

“So what? I was worried about you!” The words are out of his mouth before they have his permission to be spoken. They’ve escaped before he truly grasps the gravity of what he’s just said.

You quirk an eyebrow – a rather sarcastic expression that he’s come to know on you, but your voice is quiet when you ask, “You were worried about me?”

He was worried about you, he realizes suddenly. And he’s been worried about you for some time now, though he can’t place when his feelings towards you softened, when he started to care.

“Yeah,” he admits. “I want you to get home safely.”

“Why is that?”

His head spins. Maybe you should have been put in intelligence, the way that you’re pressuring him for answers while keeping a collected tone. It’s exasperating, honestly, how you’ve somehow gained the upper hand.

But part of him . . . likes the feeling it gives him when the two of you spar like this.

Something tugs at the corners of your mouth. It might be a smile you’re trying to suppress, or one of the smirks that he’s come to know so well.

“Nixon, I think you’re very bad at expressing your emotions.”

He blinks. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” With your propped leg taking up the space beside you on the couch, you instead gesture to the chair that sits nearby. Without knowing why, Nixon takes a seat. It’s a bit like waiting outside the principal’s office, the anticipation of it all. “But,” you continue. “it’s kind of cute to see you so flustered.”   

You’re messing with him, surely. Yet he can’t find any sort of witty comeback.

After a moment of staring at each other, you nod with the assurance of someone who has finally made up their mind and is resigned to their fate. “I think it’s time I finally came clean.”

“About?”

“I think you know. But just to watch you squirm, I’m going to start at the beginning.”

He’s heard you tell stories before. The two of you could be here for a long time.

But, he thinks as you start your narrative, he’s starting to realize that he wouldn’t want it any other way.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

I’m also a "Paul is not meaningfully attracted to men" person. He just reads so so straight to me (although I do think his relationship to other men in general is odd!). What did Paul think his relationship with John was exactly? What a great question, and I’ll give you my feelings which is I definitely DONT think Paul ever thought about it while they were together. I truly believe P+J were in an emotional relationship (I.e. they were basically on the dating level but without the romantic aspect) because Paul was doing so much emotional managing of John and John gave Paul emotional support. They both put a ton of unqualified emotional labor in to an each other that’s usually reserved for a romantic relationship (for men). (But I also don’t think either of them were super aware of that while it was happening. I think John knew there was an exchange there but didn’t really understand it till later). I think in the 80s directly after John died Paul went on a journey to figure out what happened in their relationship and I think he found things out that really shook him. I think he maybe realized there was a romantic element to their relationship (especially from johns pov) but then I also think he kinda rejected it after realizing it brought up so much guilt within him. I think he has slowly realized over time John wasn’t such a great partner to him but then he hates thinking about that so he vacillates wildly between love and anger and grief. I think he went through a period in the 80s were he genuinely thought “maybe I should’ve just … “ but can’t quite let himself think about it. I think he thinks I could’ve loved him enough to make him stay I wish I had but it was too scary he wanted too much from me. I think now as an old man he thinks I love him that much now it doesn’t scare me anymore I could’ve hugged him and kissed him easily I wish I hadn’t been so uptight (and I don’t mean that romantically). I think he romanticizes the times they laid in bed together because there was an intimacy there he deeply misses. I think John was the first love of his life and I think he’s realized it now (like now now) but it took him 20/30 years post him dying to kinda realize that. Again I don’t mean romantically I think in the sense of I put as much emotional labor in to John as I did in to Linda (although obviously much more with Linda). While they were in their relationship I think Paul only thought of it as like.. natural?? This is just how we naturally are. We legally own a piece of each other and so it’s natural I take this much interest and care. I think Jane forced him to question his relationship with John many times and mostly he dodged it but there definitely came a time where it scared him that people could think of them as queer which is kinda like step one in to their fractured relationship. Now I think he looks back on it like so what? So what if I loved him and he loved me (once again this is like a recent thing). I don’t think it was sexual for Paul but was it sexual for John? I think johns sense of sex was wildly distorted so any deep feeling was entangled with sex and certainly intimacy was entangled with sex (that’s probably also an era thing so Paul falls in to that as well) so I think John in particular struggled with sexual desire and intimacy desire being intermixed. Anyway that’s my analysis

(Cont.)

I know I said SO MUCH in that last ask sorry but also I just thought what about Paul and Sex? And I have to say I do think Paul’s relationship with John wildly effected his sexuality and sense of sex especially since they met so young I think John had a huge impact on how Paul relates to sex so to say it’s completely detached from their relationship? Err I can’t quite dismiss it! But I think it mostly comes across in Paul’s relationships with women than in with John. I just look at the dynamics Between Paul and Francie and Jane and Heather in particular and I think there’s echoes of John here. Idk what that means for Paul but!! Sex definitely plays a part but I don’t see it as Sex and Romance combined it’s definitely different quadrants.

Wow! What an insightful ask to wake up to!

I find myself agreeing with a lot of it, though I'm slightly unclear what you mean by emotional labour. I do see Paul as taking on somewhat of a role of John's carer, though more in an almost parental way, but while I think John loved Paul a lot I'm not sure what labour he was doing? He does seem to have played a role in calming Paul's nerves, as that one scene in Get Back shows, but it's hard for me to gauge how often stuff like that occurred.

Anyways! Here's stuff I really really like/want to emphasize from your take: (under the cut to not clog everyone's dash):

"I definitely DONT think Paul ever thought about it while they were together. […] While they were in their relationship I think Paul only thought of it as like.. natural?? This is just how we naturally are. We legally own a piece of each other and so it’s natural I take this much interest and care."

This! I also think it wouldn't be technically wrong to call the way they were natural. Personally, I think it kind of was. They spent an insane amount of time together, went through the one-way-door of fame together, worked on art together – which IS intimate in my opinion – plus there was that whole mother dying bond. So, I sort of get it, if Paul looked at his atypically close relationship to John and didn't feel like it was out of the ordinary in that way. Also great point re:"we legally own a piece of each other". I think it's kind of fascinating the way their names were legally tied to each other in a way that echoes real marriages. It plays a huge part in Paul's "claim" on John during the post-1980 Widow Wars.

"I think in the 80s directly after John died Paul went on a journey to figure out what happened in their relationship and I think he found things out that really shook him. I think he maybe realized there was a romantic element to their relationship (especially from johns pov) but then I also think he kinda rejected it after realizing it brought up so much guilt within him."

I definitely think this is possible, though I'm very on the fence about whether it happened. Either way, the amount of guilt that realization could bring about seems insurmountable to me. If I found out something like that it would be soul-crushing to be honest.

"I think he has slowly realized over time John wasn’t such a great partner to him but then he hates thinking about that so he vacillates wildly between love and anger and grief. I think he went through a period in the 80s were he genuinely thought “maybe I should’ve just … “ but can’t quite let himself think about it. I think he thinks I could’ve loved him enough to make him stay I wish I had but it was too scary he wanted too much from me."

I think this is a great point, though I feel a lot of that anger must have already come to the forefront when the breakup happened. What does seem to have happened since is Paul trying to understand John's mental health problems, in his own, kind of problematic way. I think this is the place his whole bringing up John's family situation shtick originates from: a misguided attempt to contextualize John's less savoury behaviour. And of course, the fact that John was deeply troubled, did struggle immensely with his own self-image, did have major abandonment issues does in the end make the guilt of not being able to help him more (by "loving him enough" or by getting him professional help that wasn't really available at the time) at odds with the justified anger Paul felt at the hurt John caused him. I think this is a seriously under-explored piece of Paul's post-1980 feelings for John, and I get why: Paul downplays it massively because it's a dark road.

There's also an inherent trade-off between Paul finally internalizing that John did in fact genuinely care about him and him subsequently realizing that perhaps John wanted more. It's deeply sad however you choose to spin it :(

And lastly, yeah, I've wondered if, if Paul knew John had harboured romantic feelings for him, would he think "well... I could have done that". Not because he necessarily genuinely desired it, but because it's so hard to imagine post-hoc anyways, and he just wants something that will fix it, and in the world of hypotheticals, anything is better than the reality we're living in.

"I think now as an old man he thinks I love him that much now it doesn’t scare me anymore I could’ve hugged him and kissed him easily I wish I hadn’t been so uptight (and I don’t mean that romantically)."

Yeah… Yeah. Again, this makes perfect sense to me. It honestly makes me kind of sad to see how tactile he is with Ringo these days. Like he'll give him a cheek kiss as a greeting and I just mourn the carefree intimacy That Could Have Been, y'know, that clearly he regrets not having with John.

"I think John was the first love of his life and I think he’s realized it now (like now now) but it took him 20/30 years post him dying to kinda realize that."

I do kind of wonder if him realizing that after the fact might also mean that it may in fact be somewhat revisionist of him to think of it that way. And that isn't to say that John didn't mean an immense amount to him at the time, but I guess the idea of a "love of one's life" is somewhat constructed if that makes sense. Like part of someone being the love of your life is that you think of them that way. So if he only began thinking of it that way after John died, is that the same as if he had realized it while they were together? I think this is an interesting question. In a way, Paul continues to shape the reality of his relationship to John to this day – which is not the same as lying or delusion in my opinion! It's simply that as he ages the lens with which he looks back inevitably keeps changing with him.

I think Jane forced him to question his relationship with John many times and mostly he dodged it but there definitely came a time where it scared him that people could think of them as queer which is kinda like step one in to their fractured relationship.

Could you elaborate on this? I agree that Jane probably called his relationship to John into question, but I've never seen anything indicating directly that Paul was worried people thought him and John were in a romantic relationship at the time (clearly, the rumours that cropped up after the fact have bothered him). I know there's that Apple Scruff report where just, after telling the groupies who hung around Cavendish that he would be marrying Linda soon and receiving blank stares in response, he exploded like "what??? you think I'm some queer who'll never get married???" but that particular story isn't directly linked to his relation to John. Is there another story I've missed?

That being said, I think Paul felt self-conscious about how John took it, thinking back to Paul being afraid dying George would swat him away for holding his hand. And we know John used to regularly disparage Paul for being "sissy" in various ways.

I think johns sense of sex was wildly distorted so any deep feeling was entangled with sex and certainly intimacy was entangled with sex […] so I think John in particular struggled with sexual desire and intimacy desire being intermixed.

Harrrrd agree on this. I think the Julia stuff really indicates this and it's just the general vibe I get from the way he talked about relationships as an all-or-nothing thing.

(that’s probably also an era thing so Paul falls in to that as well) […] And I have to say I do think Paul’s relationship with John wildly effected his sexuality and sense of sex especially since they met so young I think John had a huge impact on how Paul relates to sex so to say it’s completely detached from their relationship? Err I can’t quite dismiss it! But I think it mostly comes across in Paul’s relationships with women than in with John.

Also agree with this a lot actually! Both that the way they both put marriage on a pedestal is definitely a historical thing and it's true that makes the atypicalness of their friendship more ""questionable"" in that sense; it's one of the reasons I've never wholly dismissed Full Reciprocated McLennon™, because this aspect is somewhat better accounted for by that version of events. And yes, it's undeniable they experienced sex together, if not necessarily with each other.

(But Fiona! Confirmed circlejerks??? – Again, this is a fair point, but I do think this falls into the ambiguous of category of "could be gay – could not be" where it just kind of depends how the participants think of it plus how much they're actively thinking about everyone else involved and if so, in what way. If you personally consider it gay no matter what, then congrats, John and Paul had sex, but I don't know that Paul agrees with you and if he doesn't I don't think that would necessarily constitute denial.)

I just look at the dynamics Between Paul and Francie and Jane and Heather in particular and I think there’s echoes of John here.

Could you maybe elaborate on this? I find myself in partial agreement but I'm also not sure how much of that is just because Paul has an MO for operating with people in general. Also for the John/Heather Mills parallels, please refer to my Friend Hannah (@royaltyisshe64) and her pipeline theory lol. (Literally bless my tagging system for helping me track this down again)

All in all, thank you so much for your long thoughtful message!

[rans-baby]

bonten as high school staff

teehee just bonten as your local high school staff members :3 thank you to my love @megumi-divine for bouncing ideas back and forth with me it's so fun ♡

MIKEY

home ec teacher who will only teach his students how to make desserts because "you can never have enough desserts!"

students got sick of it so he invited emma to guest lecture (read: teach) them how to make real food

will call the students with nut allergies and lactose intolerance "the weakest link" and shame them publicly

HARUCHIYO

CHAOTIC CHEM TEACHER WHO’S REALLY UNQUALIFIED TO TEACH

will "accidentally" teach his students how to make drugs

takes students phones because he wants all the tea

"your boyfriend is ass, and i saw him holding hands with another girl the other day, want me to beat his ass?♡"

one time accidentally created carbon monoxide and knocked all of his students out

"we could have DIED!" "yeah well I COULD HAVE DIED TOO YOU SELFISH FUCK"

RAN

that random coach that subs for other classes and is not qualified for any of the jobs he's given

races his students just to prove that he's faster than them

blows the whistle at random times just to scare his students and will sometimes do it to a beat of a song when he's bored

"you guys would never survive the streets smh"

RINDOU

the history teacher who couldn't care less

"idk they're all dead anyways what's the point?"

talks about politics all the time and has the best intentions but the way it comes across is so misguided

"BITCHES DESERVE ABORTIONS. I DON'T WANT THAT SHIT"

he's trying

KAKUCHO

the beloved literature teacher that everyone comes to with their problems

makes spotify playlists and will both teach and learn about his students on a personal level

"how's your dog? he was having stomach aches the other day right?"

literally no one pays attention in class bc he's TOO fine

TAKEOMI

the trash academic advisor who does not help with college apps AT ALL

"it's not my fault you're a fucking idiot jesus"

definitely smokes in his office, but literally who is going to stop him

"i have asthma" "did i ask?"

has almost gotten fired multiple times but somehow still works there

“back in my day” headass

KOKONOI

that econ teacher that tells all of his students to get into stocks and nfts and does not elaborate on how to actually do it

"just... buy it"

will come to school in designer shit and gives money to the lower income students and is so kind about it, would never make them repay him

but will scam the rich students "you need money for weed? just pay me back with 30% interest and you got a deal"

thoughts on writing hc's about high school staff bonten and milf!reader?

[pokelolmc]

The Ultimate Enemy is a Disappointment (and How I'd Fix It) (Part 1)

A couple years back, I started analysing a list of DP episodes I thought had missed potential--and my analysis on TUE got SO big I made it its own thing. I rewrote it to death and could never settle on something concise enough, so I abandoned it. But I'm BACK baby. I can't remember where it is now, but I came across a poll on whether Reign Storm or TUE is the better special and the discourse reignited my passion for this analysis, and gave me motivation to trim off some of the fat.

Don't get me wrong, at the end of the day I do like this episode--or at least its ideas. I really liked the episode the less I thought about it, but now I see issue after issue in its execution. Hence, the "disappointment": it could've been great, but it missed the mark. This won't just be a one-sided roast of TUE, though. I have a ton of cool ideas for how to rewrite plot holes or fill in the gaps. The best roasts are constructive! (Though I would be rewriting it in a more mature fashion compared to canon's writing--keep that in mind).

Part 2 is now up: you can find it here.

So here we go: Part 1--the general plot contrivances/contradictions unrelated to Dan's character or the time travel system.

The episode introduced taking off the Time Medallions as a way to immediately return to one’s native time period, but then forgot this late into the second act.

Technically this plot hole involves time travel devices, but I'm counting it as a plot hole by character decisions.

The episode gives no explicit rules on lag time between removing the medallion and returning home, but it takes only one to two seconds to return Skulktech to the future after they dropped theirs, and it had to have been instant for Sam and Tucker to return to the past in time to escape rubble falling from FentonWorks (which was only roughly two to three stories high, not counting the Ops Centre).

Danny should’ve been sent back almost instantly when Dan took his medallion off—which would’ve completely defeated the purpose of Dan’s attempt to trap Danny there in the first place.

If they wanted to keep the plot point, they could’ve just had Dan grab the medallion and turn it intangible while it’s still around Danny’s neck…and that’s assuming that making it intangible while Danny’s still tangible doesn’t count as “removal”. That’s it. He never needed to remove it to begin with.

2. The Nasty Sauce explosion just…sucks. In my opinion, it’s too silly for the tone the episode’s trying to go for (and as a cause of major character death), and it wrecks the worldbuilding.

I tried to put it in way more verbose ways in my previous drafts, but I found another post somewhere on tumblr that did what I couldn’t—say it in three words:

“It’s just stupid.”

Assuming that semi-realistic laws exist in-place in the Danny Phantom universe (so it’s BASICALLY similar to ours) the Nasty Burger shouldn’t have been able to stay in business without a LOT of red tape, cover-ups and NDA’s. They had an explosive substance on premises, being taken care of by unqualified, minimum-wage part-timers instead of trained chemical safety specialists. Forget handling it, they shouldn’t have even had it in the first place! If they got it by going UNDER the law and covering everything up, then one of their employees shouldn’t have been able to just CONFESS to it at a public school assembly.

It also sounds ridiculous that a “certain combination of secret herbs and spices” could catastrophically combust in the first place. They could’ve made the explosion ghost-powered/altered; they could’ve made it not the sauce itself, but a pressure issue with its containment vats; they could’ve made it a gas leak or malfunction of cooking equipment starting a fire, or something. They could’ve made the explosion a Fenton invention at their home (where the whole family had reason to be at once, and Mr Lancer could hold the parent-teacher conference there like in Teacher of the Year). They've used more serious threats of explosion in previous episodes (like the Ecto-Filtrator in Million Dollar Ghost).

And instead they decided “Yep! This commonly sold and digested sauce is a dangerous explosive, and even a small handout serving is enough to blow clean through a wall when it’s heated up!” This is how we're going to kill all of the main characters' loved ones to send him on a villain arc!

Like what?

Nowhere else after TUE did the show acknowledge the Nasty Sauce in worldbuilding. There were no consequences of its risk being publicly revealed, nor did it ever pose a hazard again. It’s understandable, given the show’s episodic nature. Bu at least in The Ultimate Enemy itself, they should've thought about how it affected most of the previous episodes.

During his fight with Boxed Lunch, one of Danny's ectoblasts to a sauce packet demolishes an entire section of wall in the Nasty Burger. So how hadn’t any ghost fights ignited any Nasty Sauce before—or damaged the main vat, god forbid—and caused an explosion already?

If the sauce was always a part of the Nasty Burger’s recipe, then the entire restaurant was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off since season one, and nothing short of a miracle could explain why it hadn’t happened before.

3. This episode committed character assassination of Mr Lancer, for the sake of setting up stakes in the plot. And contradicted his personality changes in previous episodes (such as “Teacher of the Year”).

Mr Lancer, in my opinion, is the character done the single dirtiest in the episode. It warps his entire character around the plot, and turns him into a contrived mouthpiece for how important the CAT is. It leaves him even more malicious and mean-spirited than his behaviour in the first episode of the entire show—leaving him even worse than he started.

He didn’t have much character development, but there were some more positive changes happening in his personality as later episodes occurred. He started out as a selfish, corrupt authority figure (think Mystery Meat, Fright Night and other S1 episodes where he deliberately lets the jocks off the hook for their behaviour), but unwittingly acts in favour of the main characters in “Fanning the Flames”—although ineffective and easily taken down by Ember.

By the time of “Teacher of the Year”, we finally got a glimpse into his (albeit scant) ideology as a teacher around helping his students succeed, and his concern for Danny’s failing grades.

It even revealed his personal interest in Doomed, which gave him more in common with Danny and Tucker and humanised him in way a few other episodes hadn’t. Season two even demonstrated his (albeit brief) willingness to stand up and defend his students from a ghost attack in “Memory Blank”. Lancer, for a brief period of time, became more than just his job, book title swears and his frustration with rebellious students.  

We're talking about the teacher who, in the early 2000s, kept a picture of himself crossdressing at school to convince his students to try their best with a "story about his sister".

The Ultimate Enemy, however, took Mr Lancer’s humanity towards the students—particularly Danny—and flipped it all on its head. It turned him into an elitist, mean-spirited asshole who verbally attacked his students (past and present) based on their performances on this single. Fucking. Test.

They made Mr. “there is no cheat code in school, or in life” Lancer into a cruel enforcer of the hamfisted and childish importance of the CAT. Actual “get rich vs dead-end, minimum-wage job” propaganda.

(Teacher of the Year)

And... one season later:

(that sure sounds like a cheat code in life to me)

To add insult to injury, TUE used Lancer’s death as the butt of a joke directly after spending the majority treating him like a total asshole—following up character assassination with literal assassination , and excluding him from the rest of the explosion victims in their memorial.

It feels to me, that it'd make more sense for Mr Lancer to be sceptical of the importance of the CAT based on TOTY. Replace him in the assembly with Principal Ishiyama or something. A stickler-for-the-rules school administrator looking to boost the school's image by pressuring kids on a standardised test? That ABSOLUTELY makes sense.

Mr Lancer could still be seen as a threat (or someone Danny can't reach out to for help), but in the department of simply being an authority figure Danny's used to dodging around with his ghost activities. Someone who'd still enforce consequences for Danny getting caught cheating. Someone who'd get his parents involved. He's the closest thing Danny could have to any level of support at Casper High, and Danny could think he's even lost THAT.

4. The way Danny got the CAT answers was contrived, and broke the previously established rules of ghost intangibility.

To cut a long story short, Boxed Lunch’s fight with Danny shouldn’t have gotten the test answers stuck to Danny’s back. Danny immediately turned intangible in anticipation of the explosion, and was thrown outside the Nasty Burger and through Mr. Lancer’s briefcase before turning tangible again.

That didn’t make sense; the series previously established that ghosts (in this case, halfas) were physically unaffected by explosions when intangible. “Million-Dollar Ghost” even demonstrated it when Vlad escaped his castle’s explosion in the same manner, and was left completely unmoved from his position at ground zero. The sauce packet explosion shouldn’t have even moved Danny out of place, let alone flung him out of the building (especially not compared to Vlad and an Ecto-filtrator explosion).

On top of that, the test answers couldn’t have gotten stuck to his back while he passed through the suitcase, as Danny was intangible and the answers sheet was solid. Even if it were possible for already intangible ghosts to grab onto tangible objects and bring them into intangibility, that’d certainly require conscious intention that Danny didn’t have in the episode.  The test answers got stuck to his back by sheer accident on his part. Bringing other objects into tangibility always previously involved a tangible ghost grabbing hold of other tangible people/objects and consciously willing them intangible together. Ergo, he should’ve simply passed through the suitcase and its contents all at once—go to the other side, pass go, do not collect CAT cheat sheet.

The solution for this one is pretty simple—just remove the scene entirely. Not only does it break the lore, but it’s entirely pointless and redundant (more on that later when I talk about Clockwork—giving Danny the answers was his idea, and it was a terrible one). Instead, it would’ve been much more compelling if Danny stole the answers on purpose with his ghost powers—being put under so much pressure to succeed that he felt like he had to forgo his morals and use his powers to cheat.

[joesalw]

First of all I just wanted to commend you for becoming a TS hate blog despite the annoying fangirl swarm you're probably going to face. You're truly doing the lord's work.

I saw that you said you were her a fan of hers but then realised who she was after her breakup with Joe. I was curious about how long you'd been a fan and how involved were you in the fandom and what was it that caused this 180? Was it one thing that just shook you out or was it little things added up?

For me, I had always considered myself more of a casual fan of her music but never got into the fandom side of it because I always thought of swifties as pretty fucking annoying. However, I've had mutuals through the years who were more in the fandom so I sort of observed from the outside. As for her as a person, I never went to bat for her but I always felt like I gave her a sense of grace and understanding despite her being 7 years older than me and far more privileged. For example, when people accused her of always playing the victim I always thought it was understandable because when you're young you often only see things from your own pov, but with age and maturity you start seeing the bigger picture.

My issues with her started in 2020, the year after she made a documentary where she shed her white women tears and proclaimed she wanted to be politically active and use her voice for good. But when the opportunity came with covid, BLM and the election she did less than the bare minimum, a couple of tweets and some cookies iirc. After that her shitty allyship continued to annoy me especially after that Ginny and Georgia tweet, but what was really grating on my nerves was the way her fanbase and the media were hailing her an artistic genius for the littlest things. She's always been one of the poster girls for white mediocrity in the entertainment industry but it was taken to whole new level with her directing her "short film". I don't know what makes good music, but I do know little more about movies and directors and all too well was just so meh and bland and basic and the fact that Sadie and Dylan are both brilliant actors yet their performances in that "film" were so lackluster tells me she does not have what it takes to be a director. Yet she was invited to one of those variety talks and was campaigning for a Oscar nomination? And will apparently direct a movie sometime in the future? Has the world lost it's fucking mind?

Anyways come 2023 to her dating a bigot and I realised just how much of a performance her "activism" has been and her going back to the same tricks of playing victim that made me realise it wasn't immaturity and age this is just who she is.

Sorry if this is tmi but I thought since I was asking for you story I'd tell you mine in a sense. I also have some completely unqualified armchair psychology takes on miss t if you're interested in hearing them. They're probably not "hot takes" or something someone somewhere hasn't already said about her but this was already too long for me to dump them on you unasked.

Hope you have a great day! X

I started fangirling her in 2016 when the whole snakegate thing happened. With reputation especially, when she wrote those monologues about her being comfortable being her ownself at the end of her 20s and wanting a normal life and privacy outside media scrutiny. Her talking about how she used her "taylor swift sqaud" to heal her past insecurities not knowing how it could affect someone who still doesn’t have that type of friendgroup, her deciding to keep her relationship private instead of making it a circus for the media. You know, you could see the personality growth in her at that time. To me she really felt like a very matured person.

Even though there were still lots of things (that you talked about) used to make me very uncomfortable, like that ginny and georgia tweet and her posting that black image of blm trend with THIRTEEN HEART EMOJIS (so embarrassing and weird?)

Moreover, I never liked any of her self directed music videos. Like those were so bland and boring and never fit with the music. But people still praising her and giving her vmas and shits was just a confirmation that nobody cares about art these days, they only want the clout from her name. Her music is also very boring. She writes about the same events in thousand different songs to milk the shit out of it. Like girl please move on!

But what made me actually unstan her was the whole shitshow she put up after her breakup with Joe. The person she talked so highly about in her whole discography was now a villain too. She went on a brought up a whole hate trend on Joe by making her friends unfollow him publicly.

SHE IS THE ONE WHO INSTIGATED THE WHOLE JOE ALWYN HATRED TREND.

You know no matter whatever someone does (his only fault was not wanting to marry her lol), nobody deserves to go through this type of media harassment. But Joe did. Joe is the person who saved her when she was having this kind of media treatment but later on SHE instigated the same type of hatred for him. That just proves how terrible she is as a human being. And not to forget she immediately started dating a vile, racist, islamophobe, bigot, piece of shit and said that was the best time of her life. She didn’t even acknowledge her wrong in the relationship on her breakup announcement (she acted unbrothered). She used Ice Spice to cover up her mess. I mean how many more reasons did i need after that?

Now in her travis era, she switched completely 180° saying being public is her real personality. She also brought back her squad pap walks. She is really feeding into the narrative that Joe kept her in basement. So like the MAIN thing that made me fall in love with her in the first place was all along a lie? She never matured? She never wanted to have privacy? She never valued a normal life? Her personality growth really went downhill to a shithole.

But after being so invested in her for 7 years, I can tell you that a breakdown is coming very soon and I will not feel bad for it at all!

[arsenalgbt]

i’m not sure how you feel about toxic arteta hcs or whatever but…

you know how arteta is doing his little rescue thing with players? taking almost-failed worship kid martin and making him captain? bring in chelsea-rejects jorgi and kai and turning them into integral midfield players? that’s all well and good on the pitch, but off the pitch? what if he revels in the knowledge that he’s taken these players and “resurrected” them? what if he gets off on the fact that he’s taken their tattered careers in his hands and seen them back to near perfection. what if they worship him and devote themselves to him because of that?

and what happens when one of those rescue players (ramsdale) finds themselves being rejected by the one who saved them and try to do anything and give themselves entirely to gain mikel’s favour again?

maybe bot 100% dark arteta but most certainly grey in the power he wields over the players he’s “rescued” because he’s established himself as some powerful and kind figure to them that they should be grateful to. because not everybody would look at them in their lowest moments and try to uplift them, but arteta did so they should thank him for that, right?

anyways that’s enough, no point cluttering your inbox <33

oh I am SOOOOOOOOOOO unqualified for this kinda arteta discourse ngl! nudging @purefractals and @longeyelashedtragedy cuz they deffo will find your toxic!arteta HCs interesting.

I also find this interesting, so allow me to add my minuscule take about his blatant favouritism LMAO. granit is the prime example, but that one is deffo "pure"; his first project. he succeeded. no hate on Eddie but when he kept being a starter without cooking anything???? naur.

the one with Aaron tho fucking chefs kiss anon. I will never forget his motherfucking "perhaps we (Arsenal football club) can be the kinda club that sub gk during a match" bs (not the exact sentence he spouted, but close I think lol). cuz wtf was that bruv. have you done what you cheekily said to the media???????? the answer is no.

listen I might be confusing HCs as in like fics-wise or HCs as in serious real life take lol............................... I have answered another anon before that eventho I ship xhakarteta, I really don't have the drive in me to write more about them. in my writing/shipping brain, they are perfect - I don't want my writing/my take tainting what I think of them ya feel me!

the Aaron situation. im still in denial ngl, but I do see the difference Raya does to the team's performance. kudos to him for staying chill af irl tbf.

sorry to disappoint but plsss both my Tumblr inbox and ao3 inbox are currently depressing right now so send me nude---I mean send me anything!

[ducktracy]

It really is a shame that Daffy’s positive traits would slowly be more and more downplayed over the years (I think even his characteristic “WOO-HOO!” would be solely used by McKimson either after or even starting in the early 50’s?) because he makes for SUCH an enthralling character when he’s not typecasted as just “the guy that loses (to bugs bunny)”

YEAH… i AM happy to report that i’ve been considerably warming up to what i call Chuck’s Duck™️ (which is slightly unfair because Freleng’s duck falls under this category. but Chuck Duck is fun to say and works in its immediacy with its connotations), especially given that the… less “glowing” traits of his Daffy have been present long before the sudden transformation of Rabbit Fire (which isn’t really that sudden of a transformation. he even HOOHOOs in that one!)—Bob Clampett’s duck is often touted as the very antithesis of Chuck’s Duck, but what’s so different between The Great Piggy Bank Robbery and Drip-Along Daffy? Duck Dodgers? Piggy Bank has him acting as some big hot shot he is completely unqualified for—he’s egotistical! he’s a craven little coward! you could argue that this even goes back as far as something as Scalp Trouble (from 1939!) which also has him acting as a big shot authority figure who thinks he’s the greatest, only to spend a part of the cartoon cowering off screen when the climax happens

BUT to directly address your ask, i was rewatching Tom Turk and Daffy (of course) and reflecting on how Daffy is pretty insensitive in that one, but there is still this reigning innocence via oblivion that the later entries really don’t embrace as much. which is such a shame! because it makes for an incredibly captivating balance. A Pest in the House falls into a similar category—so much so that i’ve seen people show confusion as to whether or not his heckling is purposeful. it’s not! and neither is his assaulting of the turkey in Tom Turk! he’s just that unaware, but his lack of awareness is almost endearing in these shorts. it’s usually the butt of the joke later on

i have so many thoughts about Daffy and how he is characterized (and mischaracterized!) that i’ve come full circle and am completely blanking here because there’s just so much i could say, and too much for my mind to comprehend! i’ve softened on my opinion is the Bugs and Daffy shorts in recent years, particularly when accepting that the shorts are clearly made for Daffy. you do not watch a Bugs and Daffy pair-up because you want to view the intensely interesting antics of Bugs Bunny. you save that for Yosemite Sam or Elmer or whichever else adversary he runs into. Daffy unequivocally takes the spotlight—Bugs is just something for him to react to, and so that’s sort of subdued my prickliness towards those shorts realizing the directors still very much loved Daffy. not to imply they ever would feel the opposite, but it can feel suffocating with the whole “Daffy is such a stooge isn’t he. LAUGH” vibe.

I’M SO FRUSTRATED BECAUSE I LOVE THIS ASK. and i have so many more in depth thoughts about this that aren’t coming to mind and it’s making me so mad. maybe that’s more motivation for me to speed through my reviews so i can get to the shorts where i can express my feelings in a more collected manner. but for now, did leave these thoughts about Ali Baba Bunny a few months ago that somewhat applies to this ask. maybe. but i really really really strongly agree with you, and am definitely thankful for McKimson’s duck sticking with “tradition” throughout the ‘50s. i’ve always enjoyed his take on Daffy and felt he strikes a really strong balance between that sort of “innocence” and being a bit of a hard ass, while still maintaining his charm and charisma that i feel is lost in some of the later Chuck/Friz efforts (at least for me).

[fanficfanattic]

wip words: bed, cat, lie

Bed:

From the Investigative Journalist season 2 AU.

“So, Ms. Welton. She brought in someone unqualified for the job. Said it were about team morale. And then went about ruffling feathers so no one was settled.

And if Ted wasn’t the one what sent me back. And it for sure weren’t Pep calling me back, he were clear it was initiated on Richmond’s side. So the only one above him to do so had to be her. And since it was after Lasso finally got us all on the same page?

Like the same night as that. Hadn’t even gone to bed when the email came through. I was just mad at the time. Felt betrayed even though I didn’t know that’s what that feeling was. And I probably deserved it, regardless. So I didn’t think about it much at all.

And normally I’m really good at telling when someone wants me harmed. She was just so far removed. Never occurred.”

“Why would she do that? Sounds like you’re accusing her of something nefarious.”

“That means bad, yeah? That’s good since that is what I’m saying. Sent her top scorer away? When I were the person keeping em from bottom of the table.

But the thing is, she got Richmond in the divorce. Big public, nasty bit of business. And maybe her taking it from him was the original revenge. But what’s better than taking it when you can destroy it so it can’t be taken back again?”

Cat:

From the Not Yet Accepted Back S2 Jamie where some of the guys prank asked him to go out.

“Sorry I had to cancel on ya lads. Mum surprised me with a visit. Any of y’all been to the cat cafe in White City?”

“What? No!”

Lie:

Technically this is in my Discarded Snippets folder but that folder exists because surely I’ll find a place for this eventually yeah?

“Someone like Lasso? They ask you to show yer soft underbelly and promise it’s safe. Ain’t no way to trust after that lie.”

“What if it weren’t a lie, Jamie?”

“Yeah but it were.”

[karizard-ao3]

Frankenstein Eremika Au?

Well, anon, not having seen the movie nor read the book nor watched the TV show that I wasn't aware existed until I was googling Frankenstein because of this ask, I feel distinctly unqualified to come up with a Frankenstein au, but if we're just going off vibes rather than any practical knowledge of the story (like, I know the basics that I assume everyone knows), what about this?

No. Wait. Stop. I'm going to at least read the Wikipedia article.

Well, damn! Okay!

So, my original little smidgen of an idea was maybe Eren could be the monster and Mikasa finds him in the woods and now I am fully committed to it. But maybe let's say he did all his crimes and killed all those people and Victor first, so he's bad bad? Idk! Maybe he can still be at his "hating all humans but not yet killing them" phase. Let's not make him hideously ugly. Let us suppose for this au that Victor Frankenstein (aka Hange Zoe) was successful in making his monster a beautiful boy. There is something else about Eren that unsettles and frightens them. Let's say it's his crazy eyes and maybe also put some scars on him.

Anyway. Eren is Frankenstein's monster. Mikasa is a recluse living in the woods. She finds him half dead in the snow and looking like shit. She doesn't know who this big, injured guy is, but she manages to drag him to her hearth and set about nursing him back to health.

When he finally wakes up after several days, she is startled by his scary eyes and this pisses him off. He would go on a rampage, except he is pretty banged up and can't really move from his makeshift bed, so he just howls with rage and slams his fists into whatever he can reach, probably including his own self. Mikas is not about this dramatic nonsense and waits for him to tire himself out, then goes to give him a sponge bath or something.

God, he's like 8 feet tall.

Anyway, he's also killed a lot of people.

So, Eren is ungrateful. He is rude and destructive and he's lashing out because he likes her and he couldn't take her deciding she hates him like every other person in his life has done. But she just keeps putting up with him. She doesn't mind that he could snap her in half. She is depressed because her whole family died and doesn't care if she lives or dies. Also, she has a thing for saving wounded wild animals and has this Disney princess-like affinity with them. The forest birds will come eat out of her hands and wolves or bears or what have you that she once saved come to her door as tame as can be so she can feed them treats. So of course she manages to do the same with Eren. She doesn't really mind his scary eyes or the fact that his body is actually made from pieces of other bodies. He helps around the house and he's very sweet when he wants to be, which is more and more often because he sense a kindred spirit in her and she gives him the companionship and acceptance he's been craving. And then, in turn, he becomes like her new family.

And so, they fall in love, and live a life of solitude and peace and he's EIGHT FUCKING FEET TALL.

The end.

Anyway, that's my idea for the framework of the fic. Feel free to chime in with any ideas. The setting kind of reminds me of Witchunter, actually, and the fact he wants to kill her, but the bloodlust in mandatory and I'm not sure where else to put them since Frankenstein's monster tends to hide out in the wilderness, so please forgive me for any similarities.

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

Wow, you're right, I really *am* just in it for the violence!

LA FUMÉE, VOL 1. NO. 4- You see? One cannot avoid the conclusion that TipTop Tournée is simply the apotheosis of "spectacular" entertainment under capitalism.

"Kim, did you know TipTop Tournée is actually an orgiastic ritual of capitalistic destruction? I had no idea!"

"Kim, this article says that no one really watches TipTop Tournée for the races."

KIM KITSURAGI - "I can safely say the thought had never crossed my mind, detective." The lieutenant furrows his brow.

"I wonder what *else* is really just a metaphor for life under capitalism."

"It's too bad. I thought I liked TipTop."

KIM KITSURAGI - "I'm sure most things are, if the young men who wrote this article are to be believed."

"If I had to wager, I'd say they've never even *seen* the inside of a motor, much less a motor race. I'd take whatever they write with a large grain of salt."

LA FUMÉE, VOL 1. NO. 4 - You flip back to the front of the magazine. The table of contents unfolds before you.

4. Let's see what they mean by 'Local Concerns'.

LA FUMÉE, VOL 1. NO. 4 - Unsurprisingly, much of this section is taken up with articles declaring unqualified support for the dockworkers' strike.

You skim the headlines: 'Paint the Harbour Red and White!', 'Martinaise Tames the Wild Pines', 'A City in Revolt', 'First We Take Martinaise, Then We Take La Delta!'.