#that tennessee williams guy.... he had some ideas

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

Do you remember what I said to you? I said, What on earth can you do on this earth but catch at whatever comes near you, with both your hands, until your fingers are broken? I'd never said that before, or even consciously thought it, but afterwards it seemed like the truest thing that my lips had ever spoken, what on earth can you do but catch at whatever comes near you and hold onto it until your fingers are broken . . .

tennessee williams, orpheus descending

[lavender-rosa]

Kny Characters + What stories would they write?

Ok last one for now I just had a lot of ideas

(Also kind of a modern au)

This is also really long, it contains the majority of the characters

Tanjirou: Pens a very lovely and whimsical tale about a boy who goes exploring in a sunny wood and comes across various talking animals who often say funny, charming and sometimes deeply profound things about the nature of the world. Think Le Petít Prince meets Winnie the Pooh. Half of the people who read the story thought that it was a delightful read while the other half thought it needed more conflict (lameasses)

Nezuko: When she was a human she was too busy taking care of her younger siblings and doing laundry to write down her little tween girl self-insert fantasies of joining Robin Hood's band of merry men and becoming the new leader who steals Robin Hood's heart <3 and other similar characters who fight sexily against injustice.

Zenitsu: Writes cringy self-insert fanfic both in modern au and in the taishou era. He writes selfcest fanfic (but don't you get it? It's actually a metaphor about the duality of the self, and he's working out his inner demons UGH don't make fun of him!!!!!) and is that guy who writes really dark, fucked up fanfic about cartoons (he has watched a lot of anime). He's really into theaters, plays, operas, musicals you name it. He went through a big Tennessee Williams phase and tried to write exactly like him to.....middling success. He tried to write a musical once only to realize one song in, that an advanced sense of hearing and proficiency in multiple musical instruments doesn't actually equate to having any compositional talent. He'll stick to critiquing and leave the creative writing to people with more style and imagination.

Inosuke: He narrates a story about a boy who escapes an opressive society and goes to start an anarchist commune in the woods with other refugees. The fact that there are no rules and everyone does what they want is epic and he doesn't miss his old life at all even a little bit and then they all live happily ever after, the end. Shinobu claims that while his narration style is direct and incisive, the story ultimately lacks nuance.

Genya: He had a really big crush on Mulan and Li Shang when he was a kid and when he saw the garbage straight to DVD sequel it dissapointed him so badly he vowed to rewrite it so that it was good now, actually. He got three pages in before it occured to him that this was a waste of his time because no one but him would ever actually read it, and he abandoned it. Little did he know that little Nezuko would have loved to read it, but he didn't know Nezuko yet. Alas.

Kanao: She writes a series of diary entries from the perspective of a teenage girl. At first she's just talking about stereotypical teenage girl stuff, like the boy she likes and the mean thing her friend said at the mall, but then at some point the narrator realises that she's in a story, and her diary entries get introspective and frantic and meta as she is ultimately crushed under the weight of her own narrative. Her teacher deems it "brilliant" and suggests submitting it to literary magazines for publication to which Kanao replies "no thanks Λ_Λ 🫧"

Aoi: She once wrote a story inspired by "Over the Garden Wall" about two characters who are clearly her and Kanao navigating a sinister, mysterious forest together. It really helped her work through some stuff.

Senjurou: He makes an artbook of his crafts, paintings and photography. It has a very special place on Rengoku's shelf.

Rest of characters under read more

Shinobu: She writes a story about a lesbian pirate who has an affair with a bisexual tavernkeeper who is cheating on her shitty husband right under his nose. One day the husband finds out and gets violent so they kill him and serve chunks of his flesh to stray alley cats. Her friends and family really enjoy the story but others don't understand "why everything Shinobu writes needs to have such an agenda"

Sanemi: He pens a tragic fairytale about an empress who loses all of her children to various causes and ultimately kills herself. The style is very poetic and beautiful but the story is so unbelievably sad that anyone who reads it is prompted to ask "what was the point of this" and "if you need help i have a pretty good therapist i can recommend"

Giyuu: He once wrote a novella about a miserable, traumatised young man who causes problems for himself for no reason. Shinobu reads it and says "Wow Giyuu, this is an amazing piece of satire I never knew you had such a great sense of humour!" And Giyuu is just like "it wasn't meant to be comedic" and Shinobu's like "Oh......." Many years down the line Sanemi reads it too and argues that the protagonist needs to be punished more by the narrative and Giyuu responds "thanks...I'll keep that in mind....."

Gyomei: While not a man of many words, the novel he has been dictating reveals a very beautiful, sensitive, poetic soul and may move you to tears.

Muichirou: Doesn't read books and now you want him to write one???

Uzui: He wrote touching and hilarious letters to his wives whenever they were apart, which they keep stored in a small wooden chest and pull out to read whenever they are feeling wistful. Besides that he has no desire to write anything. The most he ever writes is when he is writing letters to other Pillars, which always say the same thing "Hey come over here so I can talk to you in person. Fuck you. Tengen"

Mitsuri: In the Kimetsu Gakuen comic series she along with Shinobu brainstormed a manga called "Sishinta and Friends" where all the characters are pieces of sushi and the romantic rival is a piece of shrimp called Ebi that looks like Rengoku and gets into conflict with a fried piece of salmon called Yakishake that looks like Akaza, who wants Ebi to get fried because if he doesn't he will spoil and die, but Ebi argues that getting spoiled quickly defines sushi and that he would never become fried and thus the two engage in a vicious crustacean vs aquatic vertebrate battle. Not kidding, it's chapter 11

Iguro: He writes a story from the perspective of an electron that doesn't know that it's entangled but can sometimes still feel that it is connected to something across the universe when it spins. It is a brilliant poignant story about starcrossed love and the significance of relationality across the cosmos that almost none of his peers understand "because it all sounds too sciencey"

Rengoku: Had a diary detailing his childhood, his mother and her passing, his father's descent into alcoholism, his little brother, his training exercises, his missions and his unsuccessful attempts at making his father proud. As the years passed the diary entries became shorter and shorter until one day they completely stopped...

Kagaya: Writes a dark comedy about a horrible, pathetic man who makes everyone around him miserable including himself because he refuses to adjust his insane principles even when presented with tangible evidence that contradicts his beliefs, at one point he commits multiple murders and gets away with them until the end of the story where he is killed by his own myopic greed. Muzan claims that the hero of the story "is greatly sympathetic" and that "he deserved a better fate" Kagaya is just like "yeah...I kinda knew you would say that... :)"

Tamayo: She pens a lot of theory that is highly abstract, very dense, overly cerebral, sprawling and bordeline illegible. Her works are sort of like if Feynman and Derrida had a baby and also that baby was in highly need of an editor that could whittle down every four pages into one sentence. She writes theory on every scientific field imaginable, including fields she all but invented. People who can actually figure out what the hell she is saying insist that she is a genius and that her ideas changed their life, but most people don't even bother or just pretend to have read her stuff.

Yushiro: He writes academic criticism/theory/research, which is ever so slightly more lucid and succinct than Tamayo's.

Kyogai: Writes a story about ghosts throughout time occupying a single house together, haunting each other, ever temporarily overlapping in a cacophony of grief. While coherent it is very dense, and most of his publishers don't bother actually unpacking it, so they mostly just complain about the non-linear timeline being "too confusing" (lameasses)Tanjirou loves it though.

Rui: When he was still a human he had diary entries, which served as a treasured outlet through to vent his supressed and overwhelming feelings regarding his illness. He didn't write every day, and sometimes his entries were longer than others. In the weeks between him meeting Muzan and him murdering his parents, Rui's diary entries took a turn for the messy, rambling, dramatic and graphic. His diaries were well-hid under a rug in his room and thus never found.

Muzan: He writes about an ubermensch who is able to valiantly resist the liberal indoctrination of the pathetic sjws who are triggered by his inner strength and sharp intelligence. It reads almost identically to Kagaya's story (except with a vastly different prose style), but unlike Kagaya, it is completely sincere and not remotely a satire. Unfortunate.

Kaigaku: Writes a story about a "really cool" alpha male whose girlfriend unfairly dumps him after their wannabe sigma male acquaintance who was jealous of him because he loved his girlfriend gets him cancelled on Twitter for saying a slur 10 years ago. But it turns out said guy who steals his girlfriend is actually a terrible person who treats women like shit despite posturing as a feminist for clout. Zenitsu reads it and is like "wow, this could actually be a very well thought out critique on performative allyship and how any kind of man can be equally abusive to the women in their lives....if not for the fact that THE SIGMA MALE IN THIS STORY IS CLEARLY A STAND IN FOR ME ???????"

Daki: She def has a "went through a phase of writing hardcore slash fic" vibes, I can't explain it but she does. She's also incredible at writing roasts. She gives a speech at every birthday party she has been invited to and it fucking kills.

Gyutaro: The first and only time he ever attempted constructing his own story was when he was very young, where he devised a truly gruesome story about woodland creatures that accidentally made Ume cry. Whoops!

Gyokko: He wrote the japanese equivalent of Donatien Alphonse Francois Marquis de Sade's "120 Days of Sodom" the book that inspired the well-known 1975 film Saló (on a sidenote: I have read the book and it's much worse than the movie, just read the wiki summary to get the idea) Anyways if you are familiar with the book or the film you should know that whatever the hell Gyokko wrote is not suitable for human or demon consumption alike.

Hantengu: Spent a couple decades or so publishing a series of action-adventure-erotica novels under a pseydonym. Once you've been around for long enough, you just start doing shit.

Akaza: When he was young he wrote about a brave and valiant samurai who goes off to slay an oni and bring it's head back as a trophy for the shogun, only to learn that the oni was really just minding her own business, leading him to question everything he thought he knew about the Japanese feudal government, and ultimately beheading the shogun instead. His teacher deemed it "intriguing, but slightly concerning" (Lame!!!) Also probably had a Magneto and a Robin Hood phase.

Douma: Publishes a book that is one part self-help, one part gloating memoir, one part spiritual guide, one part personality quiz and 100% barf. Hakuji cannot believe that Koyuki has read it cover to cover multiple times, as if it contains wisdom deserving to be gleaned even once. He'd burn it if he didn't know that Koyuki would just immediately go out and buy another copy, giving even more money to that bastardly scammer.

Kokushibou: He finds most novels insipid, poetry either boring at best or nauseating at worst, and fanfiction a hobby practiced only by the most simple minded buffoons so he doesn't think he's missing out. He once sent a letter to Douma but never received an answer from him, so when he asked him about it when they met face-to-face Douma simply told him that attempting to read through and trying to comprehend Kokushibou's highly antiquated and dense writing was sheer torture for him so he just gave up ❤ he advised him to modernize his writing, even just a tiny bit. Kokushibou could do that....but he refuses to ❤️

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

House on Fire: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Summary: Fire burns everything including energy, but when an unsub uses fire to murder dozens, you feel each and every one of those deaths.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

"We all live in a house on fire, no fire department to call; no way out." - Tennessee Williams

Never have you been so focused in your entire life than in this moment. Spencer is very skilled in not worrying about what move you're going to make, but you've been practicing more to throw him off guard. Derek and Emily believe you have what it takes to beat Spencer while JJ and Penelope are on Spencer's side knowing he is going to win.

The clock is ticking down the seconds until the end of your turn, and you quickly make a move you hope is the right one. Spencer looks at the chess board in front of him and doesn't think twice about moving his Bishop. It's unclear right now who is going to win even though Spencer knows it's gonna be him.

"Do not let him win," Derek says to you.

"Shut up so I can concentrate."

You move your Knight right before you see that it leaves your King open. Spencer takes this opportunity to win and immediately goes in for the kill.

"Checkmate."

Derek and Emily groan at the fact that they lost their bet, and Penelope and JJ cheer in victory.

"Wanna go again?" Spencer smirks.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

You clean up the board right when Hotch comes out of his office with a serious look on his face.

"Briefing room. Five minutes."

The chess game will have to wait until you're done with this case. JJ is the first to leave this group so she can prepare, and five minutes later, everyone is inside the briefing room. She immediately plays a news report of a fire that happened at a movie theater in Indiana.

"This is news footage from a movie theater in Royal, Indiana with a population of two thousand people. Earlier tonight, nineteen people were killed. They're sure it's arson because the same thing happened at the local recreation center. That claimed the lives of twelve victims."

"I heard about that. It was all over the news."

"There were some details that didn't make the news. A week and a half earlier, there were some fires at a convenience store and a local restaurant. Luckily, it was after hours and no one was hurt."

"Whoever set these fires went from no victims to thirty-one in two weeks. That's a hell of an escalation."

"Why didn't they call us in sooner?" Emily asks.

"The local police and fire department knew they were dealing with an arsonist, but they had no idea he'd become a killer."

"Most arsonists don't. They just like setting fires. Any deaths that occur are almost always accidental."

"Thirty-one victims isn't an accident."

"The police chief knows he made a mistake, and he learned the hard way that even though not all arsonists are killers, they do have one thing in common--once they start, they can't stop. Wheels up in twenty."

Hotch gave everyone twenty minutes to get ready, but you only need ten. Everyone is early to the plane because they realize the emergency of the situation. You need to get to Indiana as soon as possible to stop this guy before he hurts any more people.

"Based on the limited population of Royal, the unsub is most likely a local male between the ages of seventeen and thirty," Spencer theorizes.

"Are you saying arson is a sexist industry?" Penelope asks over video chat.

"For the most part, yeah. Only twelve percent of arsonists are female."

"Apparently women just aren't inclined to burn things."

"Let's go with the numbers. Focus on males," Hotch says.

"Well, we can scratch 'hero complex' off the list. He hasn't left anyone to save. Though, we can't rule out firefighters and other first responders."

"How about I do a background check on all local firefighters and EMTs?" Penelope suggests.

"Flag anyone with a history of being first on the scene or anyone with a juvenile record that includes vandalism or small nuisance fires."

"I will look at everything from firebug to flamethrower."

"JJ, you check out the news footage? I want the word out that we'd like to see any personal videos or photos of the fire. Arsonists like to watch, and if our unsub stuck around, maybe somebody will recognize him."

"I'm on it."

"Did locals find anything in their call logs that resemble the unsub's MO? I mean, he may have staged practice runs," Derek asks.

"According to the fire chief's report, there was nothing similar in the past year. Garcia, extend your search statewide. The unsub may have done his practicing far enough away so as not to arouse suspicion."

"I will cast a wide net, sir."

"I grew up in a small town," JJ explains. "People are gonna assume anyone we question is guilty. The last thing we want is for this to turn into a witch hunt."

"It's exactly what this is. We're just gonna have to keep the locals from realizing it. Garcia, I want you to find out everything that you can about the thirty-one victims, and I don't mean just their paper trail. I need to know everyone related to them, everybody they owed money to, and everybody they had an argument with."

"Sir, if I'm hearing you right, you're saying I'm the witch hunter?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

When you land, you, Derek, Rossi, and Emily head to the movie theater crime scene. Hotch and JJ went to meet with Chief Carlson at a local gym that's been cleared out since there isn't enough room at the hospital to keep all the dead bodies. You refused to go there because that's too much spiritual damage you'll be taking. Fire burns everything, including energy, so the theater should be a safer place for you.

It's not.

There is a memorial set up for people who have died in the theater outside of it that people can visit. There are a bunch of flowers, pictures of the victims, stuffed animals, and other things to honor the dead. The energy you feel is so powerful that you're kind of scared to go inside.

Fire Captain Danny Wells meets you, Derek, and Emily when you arrive. Rossi breaks off from the group to talk to fire chief Tom Schultz.

"Most of the victims died of smoke inhalation, thank God. A few of them were trampled. My cousin Gary and his wife Linda were there."

"If you need some time--"

"I'm good. Please, follow me."

Danny bypasses the yellow caution tape and walks into the charred movie theater. You're immediately floored at how overwhelming this is for you. Yes, fire burns everything in its path but because so many people died here, the energies stayed behind this time. The lobby is also burned where the second fire was set, but the main point of entry is in one of the theaters. Instead of charred ceilings and broken plaster, the fire rages above you. The doors are locked, preventing people from escaping. They push past you trying to get out, and you end up backing up right into Derek to try and avoid them.

"Are you okay?" He's enough to snap you out of the memory of last night. "Can you see them?"

"All of them," you whisper tearfully.

Derek rubs your back comfortingly as he addresses the fire captain.

"Based on how dark the burns are to the theater, this must be the point of entry. It must have spread into the lobby."

"This one burned the longest. Slower, too. There was less oxygen so less fuel. He used a lot more gas in the lobby. The place went up like a haystack. The bastard even turned off the main water line so the sprinklers didn't even go off."

"You know, the unsub could have set this fire first. The lobby burned harder and faster which forced the victims out this way where he'd already blocked the exit. Plus, the smoke from the slower-burning fire had already built up. Whoever did this knew that even if the fire department got here in time to stop the fires, they still wouldn't be able to save them."

"Excuse me."

You leave the main theater to join Rossi and Tom in the lobby where there is a lot less emotional damage waiting for you. Rossi and Tom are talking to one of the EMTs, Tina Wheeler, who was one of the first ones on the scene.

"Me and Daniel are both volunteers," Tom says about him and the Fire Captain. "The whole company is. We got about twenty firefighters plus our own ladder truck and pumper. An EMT runs a two-person crew twenty-four/seven. We managed to get it out pretty fast."

"Not fast enough," Tina says. "All these people... who would have such hatred?"

"Someone whose rage has been building for years. This unsub knew exactly what he was doing. He's been practicing for a long time with nuisance fires and vandalism. He may have even burned himself." Rossi sees you and introduces you to them. "Y/N, this is Tom Schultz and Tina Wheeler."

"Nice to meet you. I wish it was under different circumstances."

"Who you're describing sounds like every teenage boy who's ever grown up in Royal," Tina says. "I don't know if you noticed but there's really not a lot to do here."

"You have our reports. All the records are in there."

"Maybe so, but we all know there are times when things don't get reported. Times when you're just trying to protect someone and make the situation go away."

"We're just trying to help people out. Sometimes the best way to do that is to forget that it ever happened."

"We're gonna need to know about those times," you state.

"Fine. We'll get those to you as soon as possible."

There is no reason for you to be here anymore, so you head back to the police station to join the rest of the team. Hotch and JJ are back from the local gym where JJ was combing through the footage with Penelope to spot anyone suspicious.

"I have been through every piece of footage I could find. No one sticks out at the fires, no one appears to be inappropriately voyeuristic, and no one with bandages."

"Garica?"

"There's no firebug firefighter or flammable juvie records, however, of the one hundred and twenty-eight reported instances of petty larceny and vandalism in the last year, there are a few names that sort of stick out. I'm emailing you those photos. I also have a pattern of small gasoline fires about three hundred miles away in a town called Franklin. I also have a trash can fire, a Christmas tree fire, and an abandoned shed fire. I sent you that file, too."

"Thank you. Given the five-hundred-mile search radius, there's bound to be a certain percentage of nuisance fires. We can't necessarily attribute that to our unsub."

"That's true, but only seven percent of arsonists use wooden matches with a gasoline accelerant, and our unsub fits into that."

"What about the victims?" Hotch asks Penelope.

"Given that I had less than eight hours, I can't really--"

"I appreciate the time constraint. What have you found?"

Hotch isn't playing. He's looking for answers whether or not people are ready to give them.

"Uh, they're a mixture of ages and genders. They're mostly locals."

"Is there any crossover between the victims and the other two towns, Garcia?"

"This is a teeny tiny town. There is nothing but crossovers. Alex Nagel was killed in the rec center. Not only was he an upstanding member of the local church, but he also owned quite a bit of real estate in Royal, including the movie theater. Windy Kennedy, a single mother, was killed at the movie theater. She worked a double shift at the local discount store, and she still managed to find time to volunteer at the rec center. I also have a third-grade teacher, third cousins, and at least three potential affairs."

"You're gonna have to start weeding out some of these, Garcia. Third cousins and religious affiliations are probably not gonna help us. I need to know who had enemies, who had secrets, and who was a target."

"With all due respect, sir, my brain muscles are comfortable with being intuitive with information, not people. Looking at people like that is not part of my job description. I'm not a profiler."

"You're gonna have to be. We don't have much time. You two look into the nuisance fires. Garcia, stay on the radio."

You feel bad for Penelope for what Hotch is putting her through, but you understand why he's doing it. He's very stressed that more people are going to die, and you don't know where it'll happen, when it'll happen, and how many people will fall victim.

The people put together a mass funeral for those lives that were lost in the recent fire, and Hotch thought it was a good idea to go. The unsub might be part of that to see the damage he's caused. He's not going to target this group of people because he doesn't want to interrupt the grief he created. Your team went looking for someone with inappropriate behavior such as too much emotion, too little emotion, someone who keeps to himself, watching others' reactions, and someone who insinuates himself too closely into someone's grief.

You're focusing on known offenders with a propensity for arson, but no one fitting that description showed up to the funeral. While you were at the funeral, Penelope worked her way through a list of possible suspects including Brian Miller and John Clayton. Brian is eighteen and has been vandalizing property for almost all his life. John is twenty-seven and set his neighbor's garage on fire. He claimed it was an accident, but he filed a complaint the previous month that the neighbor killed his dog.

You're about to leave the funeral service when two fire trucks race past with their sirens on. Everyone starts panicking thinking the unsub is at it again, and the only people who leave to check it out is your team.

The unsub was never here. He was too busy setting another fire.

x

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[nancydrewwouldnever]

Advocate January 2009 Interview

Chris Evans: Not Another Gay Interview

Chris Evans is a serious actor, but that doesn’t mean he wants you to stop objectifying him.

By Brandon Voss

January 05 2009 12:00 AM EST

After working a whipped-cream bikini in the 2001 spoof Not Another Teen Movie, Chris Evans fried phone lines in Cellular and melted hearts as The Human Torch in the Fantastic Four films. Next seen as a telekinetic troublemaker in February’s sci-fi thriller Push, the 27-year-old revisits his steamiest photo shoot and outs his even hotter gay brother.

This may come as quite a shock, but gay men enjoy you. I was well aware of that. I remember my mother saying, “Chris, do you know you’re #2 on some gay list [AfterElton.com’s Hot 100]. Brad Pitt is #12!” I was like, “What?!” I couldn’t believe it.

That was 2007. I hate to break bad news, but you dropped to #8 in ’08. Aww, that’s outrageous! Who took my spot?

I forget, but Jake Gyllenhaal was #1 for both years. What? Jake? Unacceptable. [Laughs]

It couldn’t hurt to play a gay role next. I really wanted to be a part of Milk, but I lost out to James Franco. I guess if you’ve got to lose, he’s the guy to lose to. I did a movie called Fierce People where I played a sociopath who wasn’t gay, but he does rape a teenage boy. You come to find out he didn’t do it for sexual reasons; he just did it because he could. He really was a sick character.

I’ve actually got an idea for a gay musical sequel to Cellular called Blackberry Storm. You in? Absolutely. Sounds like a nailbiter.

I hear there might also be a queer subtext in Push. Yes, those with powers try to keep it under wraps. They’re being hunted by the government, so everyone’s trying to lay low. Now I understand the gay man’s struggle. [Laughs]

What’s the status of your Tennessee Williams film, The Loss of a Teardrop Diamond, about a 1920’s Memphis debutante? We took it to the Toronto Film Festival looking for distribution, and it does not look like that’s going to happen. I don’t know if there’s really a market for a Tennessee Williams film. It would’ve been a tough film to distribute and make money back, so it’s probably going to remain in limbo and possibly come out one day on DVD.

Do you blame Lindsay Lohan, who was originally set to star before Bryce Dallas Howard took over? [Laughs] No, not at all. To be honest, Bryce was phenomenal in the movie. It’s a shame that people won’t get to see her performance.

Let’s discuss your sexy, now-infamous 2004 Flaunt magazine photo shoot — and why you seem more hesitant to flaunt your physique. I really didn’t think twice about taking my shirt off at the time, but my current publicist would pull her hair out if I did that photo shoot today. If I got to a photo shoot and they said, “OK, we’re going to do some shirtless shots,” I’d say, “Fine. No big deal.” It never really occurred to me that that could be misinterpreted as a bad thing or as selling out.

Do you think those photos hurt you? I couldn’t care less, and I don’t think it makes one lick of difference. But I hired my publicist for her professional opinion, and she seems to think it’s a mistake. I have no problem taking my shirt off for a role if the part calls for it, but my publicist says, “When you’re promoting yourself, being you, there’s a way to keep it as classy as possible. Greasing yourself up and stripping down may not be the best way to do it.” To some degree, she may have a point. But at the end of the day, it didn’t bother me then and it doesn’t bother me now. Maybe I dropped to #8 because I haven’t had enough shirtless photo shoots lately. I’m blaming my publicist. [Laughs]

When you need an ego boost, do you ever watch the Chris Evans tribute videos on YouTube? No, I just call my mother. When you’re feeling depressed, you talk to her for 20 minutes and you think your shit doesn’t stink. And you can quote me on that.

I read on PerezHilton.com that your younger brother Scott is gay. Yes, I do have a gay brother. I’m down with the gays. Mostly I’m hanging out with him and his gay buddies, who are fucking hilarious. They’re the funniest people I know.

Do they take you to gay bars? They’ve invited me out to gay bars before, and I said, “Look, guys, I’ve got to draw the line there.” That’s where a photo will get taken, it will run in magazines, and before you know it, I’ll be living down the gay rumor for the rest of my life.

Does your brother look anything like you? He does, but he’s about an inch taller and about four shades tanner than I am. He’s a very fit young man. Believe me, he does quite well for himself.

How did he come out to you? He was really nervous. He came out to all of us very slowly. His first year at NYU, he came out to our mother and our sister, and then he came out to me a little later. I was driving him back to New York City for school. We spent the whole day together, got to the city, had some beers in my hotel room, got into a really great talk, and he came out. I was so glad that he did. That’s got to be a difficult transition, but I come from the most liberal household you have ever heard of. And for some reason, gay men are just drawn to my mother. She’s a cool chick. I think, like, six men have come out to her. I guess they just feel so comfortable with her, and before you know it, they’re coming out of the closet. I think my mother was praying for us to be gay, so at least she got one of us.

Growing up, when was the first time you realized that you weren’t gay? When I had a crush on my babysitter, who lived with us for a few years. I must’ve been 10 or 11. I was just head-over-heels in love with her. I thought she was the greatest thing in the world. Then I had a really big crush on Kim Cattrall in Mannequin. I was in love with her too.

In May 2008, you were photographed wearing a T-shirt with an image of two girls making out. Was that your way of showing support for gay marriage? My buddy owns a clothing line in L.A, and that’s one of the T-shirts that he makes. To be completely honest, I threw it on without really taking a close enough look at it. On that day I ended up getting photographed at a clothing store — which rarely happens to me — and then on the way home, I get in a car accident. So I’m dealing with police, the ambulance, taking down names and numbers, all while wearing a shirt with two women tonguing each other. It was a rough day. As for gay marriage, it’s mindboggling and appalling that human beings are being denied civil rights in this country. But time will heal all. I have to believe that in 10 years we won’t be having this conversation. We’ll be having another one, because we’ll always find someone to persecute.

2008 was arguably the Year of the Man-crush. Who was yours? My buddies always tell me that I have a man-crush on Brad Pitt. What can I say? The guy’s great. I think he’s a great fuckin’ actor, and he’s versatile as all hell. I’ve never seen a movie I didn’t like him in. So I guess he’s my man-crush.

When I interviewed Milo Ventimiglia for The Advocate, he told me about performing “I Will Survive” in drag for the short-lived 2000 TV series Opposite Sex. He failed to mention that you were one of his two backup dancers. [Laughs] I’ll tell you the worst part. Milo and Kyle [Howard] look like the ugliest transvestites in the world; meanwhile, I think I pass! I look like an alright-looking woman! It was horrible walking from the makeup trailer to the set. I was ogled, getting catcalls, and being sized-up. It was very demeaning. I could definitely relate to what women must go through.

Have you done drag since? No. Unless you want to count the blue tights in Fantastic Four.

By the way, “flame on!” was typically reserved for flamboyant homosexuals before you stole it as your Fantastic Four catchphrase. Sorry, guys. Well, you knocked me down to #8. I had to steal something.

[jewish-privilege]

(...)

I was a 12 years old when I was attacked by a mob of children and called "Christ killer" — the same age Jesus was, according to the Gospel of Luke, when he lingered in the Temple of Jerusalem and impressed the elders with his intellect — so this issue is undeniably personal. That wasn't the first or last time I was bullied for being Jewish, but it was the only time I nearly died because of it: Those kids held my head underwater, chanting, "Drown the Jew!"

This incident sprang back to mind  this month as Republicans tried to figure out what to do about Greene, a particularly obnoxious Christian right-winger who has suggested that a "space laser" affiliated with Jewish banking families caused the 2018 Camp Fire in California, expressed sympathy for the anti-Semitic QAnon fantasies, promoted a video that claimed Jews are trying to destroy Europe, posed for a picture with a Ku Klux Klan leader and liked a tweet linking Israel to the assassination of John F. Kennedy.

(...)

None of this is surprising for anyone who is familiar with the history of American anti-Semitism. Greene is not an aberration, some inexplicable pimple of hatred that blemishes the American right's otherwise Jew-friendly visage. The American right has long had an anti-Semitism problem, and she's just the latest symptom.

This history of hatred "tells us much more about the anti-Semite than it tells us about Jews," Dr. Jonathan Sarna, a professor of American Jewish history at Brandeis University, told Salon. After citing an Israeli historian who refers to anti-Semitism as a "cultural code," Sarna explained that beliefs that vilify Jews as malevolent plotters who secretly control the world have a long history in American political life. "These ideas, which I think many on the left frankly had thought were done and over with, we suddenly see them full blown," he said

Before the 19th century, Sarna explained Jews were stereotypically depicted as being cursed: They were "wandering Jews" for their supposed role in killing Jesus Christ. In the modern era, however, the stereotype emerged that Jews secretly controlled the world and were responsible for everything that a given anti-Semite might regard as sinister. During the Civil War, Gen. Ulysses S. Grant blamed the Jews for cotton smuggling and expelled the entire Jewish community from areas he controlled in Kentucky, Tennessee and Mississippi. When the populist movement arose to address agrarian economic concerns in the 1890s, Jewish bankers like the Rothschilds were a frequent target among ideological leaders like William Hope "Coin" Harvey.

(...)

There's a direct line between those conspiratorial fantasies ideas from previous decades and the anti-Semitic attacks of the 21st century. "Conspiratorial thinking, by its nature, argues that everything is connected," Sarna explained. "There are no coincidences and it eschews complexity. It believes there are simple explanations based on sinister individuals who are manipulating the universe. Unsurprisingly, in a Christian setting, those are Jews."

Those ideas can evolve — Sarna pointed out that the QAnon belief in a giant child abuse ring run by Jews is analogous to the "blood libel," the medieval myth that Jews used the blood of Christian children for rituals — but the underlying assumptions have been consistent. It just so happens that, in the modern right-wing incarnation, Donald Trump's cult-like following believes that "all the enemies of Mr. Trump are now child molesters."

(...)

[Jewish comedian Larry Charles] brought up community organizer and political theorist Saul Alinsky, a favorite target of the right. "He is almost like the devil in a way," Charles observed. "He's like this radical leftist Jew, he fits all the categories. He checks all the boxes."

"Shooting some of these movies, we would see reasonable people who have this blind spot," Charles said. "They have this crazy belief, and there were all different applications and manifestations of it, that the Jews control everything. That is like a mantra amongst a certain segment of the population."

(...)

With the election of Trump in 2016, those ingrained belief systems — which for many years had been kept outside the American political mainstream — became more prominent, and their adherents more emboldened. David Weissman, a military veteran and former conservative Republican who stopped being a self-described "Trump troll" after a 2018 conversation with comedian Sarah Silverman, told Salon about his encounters with anti-Semitism on the right.

Back when he still supported Trump, Weissman recalled, he got into a "little spat" with an alt-right commentator who calls himself Baked Alaska, who was recently arrested after the Jan. 6 Capitol riot. Ultimately they moved past it, Weissman said: "We both realized we were Trump supporters" who believed "Democrats were the bad guys." Once he left MAGA world, however, Weissman said "the anti-Semitism definitely escalated" in interactions with his former allies.

"When I became a Democrat, I was called 'the k-word'" and targeted by "anti-Semitic slurs and tropes," Weissman said. Trump supporters sent "memes of me being Jewish in the oven," and "put my name in parentheses," a common tactic used by the far right to target someone for being Jewish.

(...)

"Anti-Semitism certainly did not start with Marjorie Taylor Greene, nor did it start with Donald Trump, but we have seen an exponential increase in violent anti-Semitic incidents during Donald Trump's presidency," Halie Soifer, CEO of the Jewish Democratic Council of America, told Salon. "That is no doubt related to the fact that he emboldened and aligned himself with white nationalism." She mentioned Trump equating the neo-Nazis in Charlottesville with the peaceful protesters by "commenting that there were very fine people on both sides," refusing to denounce white nationalism and telling the right-wing Proud Boys during one of the campaign debates to "stand back and stand by."

"White nationalism had existed in our country prior to that, and anti-Semitism as an element of it, but white nationalists had never had an ally in the White House until Donald Trump," Soifer said.

(...)

Donald Trump's supposed pro-Israel policies were closely aligned with those of Benjamin Netanyahu, and did nothing to correct for Trump's history of anti-Semitic words and actions. He accused Jewish Democrats of "great disloyalty" toward Israel (feeding into the stereotype that Jews have dual loyalties), removed any specific reference to Jews from a 2017 State Department statement on Holocaust Remembrance Day and has frequently used anti-Semitic dogwhistle terms by opposing "globalists" and describing himself as a "nationalist." When I interviewed Charlotte Pence, the daughter of former Vice President Mike Pence, she talked about her family's love of Israel but refused to answer a question about whether she believes Jews are going to hell — or discuss the creepy messianic theories underpinning the Christian right's support for Israel.

When I asked Larry Charles whether, based on his experiences, there's an opportunity to build bridges with anti-Semites, he was skeptical. "I have not seen a lot of opportunities for bridge building in the situations that I've been in," Charles explained. "The people that I've met through Sacha [Baron Cohen] were very rigid and dogmatic in their prejudices. There was no crossing that gulf with them. There might be tolerance, temporarily. There might be patience, temporarily. But there's no changing that belief."

I hope that Charles is wrong but suspect he is right, which raises the question of how American Jews should react to the Marjorie Taylor Greenes of the world. For want of a better alternative, I think the only solution is to be intolerant toward intolerance. House Democrats were right to strip Greene of her committee assignments, but that is not nearly enough. Social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter need to do more to limit hate speech, even if conservatives cry foul in bad faith (the First Amendment only protects people from government censorship, not consequences from private corporations). Right-wing politicians who attack prominent Jews in ways that can be plausibly construed as anti-Semitic, or by denouncing "globalists," need to lose their funding. People who oppose anti-Semitism must lead boycotts against right-wing media figures who cover for people like Greene, such as Fox News' Sean Hannity.

On a broader level, critics of anti-Semitism must recognize that this form of bigotry is part of America's long history of hate — a history which holds that only white, straight Christian "manly" men have a right to rule — and recognize our responsibility to be allies to African Americans and the Latinx community, Muslims and the LGBT community, women suffering under the patriarchy and the poor struggling to make ends meet. If we limit our empathy merely to other Jews, the implicit message is not that systemic oppression is wrong, but only that we happen to dislike it when our group is targeted. The Jewish tradition at its best instills a moral responsibility to see all the layers of oppression, and align ourselves with its victims.

[Read Matthew Rozsa’s full piece in Salon]

[ryanindustrymen]

Highlights of an interview with Ken Levine my friend just did incoming.  It’s paraphrased and I might sound slightly delirious,  because I’m tired,  and I just made myself listen to this guy’s bullshit for hours.

Bioshock apparently almost got cancelled,  because no one expected it would be financially successful.  (7:30)

Even Levine himself didn't believe in it,  either,  and they had to convince him to go through with it.

I wonder who exactly the  'they'  in this scenario were;  I’d like to have an interview with them.

Levine says he didn’t even read  'Atlas Shrugs'  until after publishing the game.  (12:41)

All his Ayn Rand - related inspiration apparently came from  ‘The Fountainhead’ ??

He says that he got his inspiration for the art style from the cover of the book,  as well as the New York Rockefeller Center.  (14:28)

Unsurprisingly;  Levine’s favorite character is Elizabeth.  (16:14)

Around 17:15 there’s this hilarious moment where he awkwardly struggles to remember Daisy Fitzroy and her voice actresses’ name,  then just skips her and continues.

Levine was heavily inspired by literary works by Tom Stoppard for the Lutece twins.  (19:04)

He also recommends the movie  'Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead',  which is based on one of Stoppard's most famous plays.

Levine says that  ‘It was fun to write two characters who love each other so much’  (about the Lutece twins)  which I am trying not to read too much in to,  but also,  if we’re talking about familial bonds...  the Big Daddies and Little Sisters are right there.  (20:34)

Somewhat later he points out a lot of his inspiration comes to him randomly while life is happening.

Like how he came up with the idea of the names  'Big Daddy'  and  'Little Sister'  during a run with Joe McDonagh  (who he named Bill after).

He mentions a Tennessee Williams play from the period Bioshock is in that has a character called Big Daddy as well.

When asked what cut content he’d like to put back into the game,  Levine brings up some fun and peaceful moments between Elizabeth and Booker that were in the demo but were cut out due to time restraints.  (28:14)

Apparently we have Rob Waters to thank for the nightmarish Boys of Silence and many of Bioshock's other monster designs.

People didn't trust the first voice actor for Atlas enough,  so he decided to drop him and  (inspired by Tom from the Cohen brothers' Miller's crossing)  cast someone with an Irish accent.  (47:07)

Levine expresses that a lot of the Bioshock philosophies are based on the Fountainhead,  but he had no idea that Ayn Rand was actually politically relevant,  as he is not involved in politics at all.  (53:28)

This is kind of where I completely lost it ??

How can you --  That’s --  Wh- What?!

Around the 57:35,  Levine admits that he knew he wasn't going to be working on any next Bioshock game,  so he wanted to  ‘wrap everything up neatly’  with Burial at Sea.

He wanted to finish the story of  'what the series is all about',  which Levine beliefs is the downstream effect of abuse.

How it just gets passed on and on.

Literally had to pause to rave at @littlebunnysander about this,  because I can't believe he's still on this shit!

[troped-fanfic-challenge]

JATP ROUND THREE FICS!

We received fourteen (14!!!!) fics for Round Three of the JATP Event! These fics are full of that sweet, sweet canonverse goodness that we can’t get enough of, but with our signature TROPED twist! We loved to see you all challenge yourselves with the theme, tropes, and pairings!

Please try to read as many fics as you can! Take some notes, leave some kudos/comments for the authors, and help us vote on the winners!

Voting will be open until May 29th at 11:59pm EST! Vote here:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/BZ3W5FT

———

Just say you won't let go (Rated G) [Julie/Luke]

Summary: Hey, Julie

You're the heart and soul 'round here, it's plain to see

in which Julie has a second chance with her boys, and then another

we will fight to shine together (bright forever) (Rated G) [Bright Lighting Guy/Rob from the Orpheum]

Summary: “Hey,” Chris says, walking up to the boy. “What are you doing?”

“Oh,” he puts the dandelions down and stands up. “Hi. I’m trying to make a flower crown, but I don’t remember how.”

“Cool. I’m Chris, I live--” he points to his house. “Over there.”

The boy gives him a lopsided smile. “I’m Rob. I’m staying with my grandparents for the summer.”

~

or: the rob/bright lighting guy fic literally nobody asked for but i wrote anyways. enjoy gays, bring ur tissues

what happened when (Rated G) [Alex/Luke]

Summary: Before Julie and the Phantoms, before the guys became ghosts, before Sunset Curve -- they were Luke and Alex. Not 5 feet apart cause they're totally gay.

who cares if one more light goes out? (in a sky of a million stars) (Rated T) [Ray/Rose]

Summary: Rose moves in across the street when he’s eight and she is seven. Their parents push for them to play together, because that’s what parents do. They’re not wrong about it though. The two of them get on like a house on fire and some of his happiest memories from his childhood are just him and Rose, sitting in the large oak tree behind their houses. Hidden up in the branches, between the millions of dark green leaves, they played together.

or: The first and the last time Ray ever kissed Rose.

we can forget the world (just you and me) (Rated T) [Alex/Willie]

Summary: “This was the first place I ever came out to someone,” Alex says, spinning around and taking in the tree house.

together we can take on the world (Rated G) [Alex/Reggie]

Summary: Alex Mercer meets Reggie Peters on October 8, 1983, which means that two days have passed since Reggie's sixth birthday, because Reggie is a Libra according to the magazines that his mom reads when she gets Reggie to paint her toenails. He’s also just moved to Los Angeles, California from his hometown of Gatlinburg, Tennessee, a small town in the mountains, and he’s told Alex Mercer about all of this in the three minutes that they’ve known each other, and he might be the loudest, most obnoxious boy that Alex has ever met, and he absolutely has to be Alex’s new best friend.

The Peters family moves in down the street from the Mercers in 1983, and so begins the rest of their lives.

Long Live (Can I start another life with you?) (Rated T) [Julie/Luke]

Summary: It's all too much for one day: first a muffin, then more heartbeats. Julie just needs some time to think. If Luke runs after her to sit by her side so she doesn't lose it, she won't complain.

Except afterwards, he starts acting weird. Very weird. And months later, she's tired of letting him keep his distance.

She can’t do this. Not right now. Not today.

She jumps back on her feet.

The excited grin falls from Luke’s face. She doesn’t try to catch it.

“I – I think this is too much. I need some time. Alone. Sorry.”

Then she runs. She runs past the calloused fingers reaching out to her. Past Reggie and the door, past carved pumpkins on porches and Cornelia Street.

She just runs.

Roses (Rated G) [Emily & Luke, Alex/Luke]

Summary: It becomes a sacred place she shares with her son. Mitch is usually off at work from dawn until six o’clock, but Emily’s working from home for now. She works as a florist’s shop right outside the neighborhood. So she brings home seeds and little flowers and other cuts from the store; she and Luke will spend hours out in the dirt, planting seeds and making mud pies and Luke will babble about whatever happened in daycare and make up stories about the different flowers.

Somewhere Only We Know (Rated T) [Nick/Carrie]

Summary: Nick Danforth-Evans met Julie Molina when he was six years old. He had no idea how much an impact that afternoon would have on his life.

___

A journey through Nick Danforth-Evan's life as experienced in the safety of his backyard hide away.

The Itty Bitty Details (Rated T) [Alex/Willie]

Summary: “Did I forget to mention William, I also get your soul,”

Willie could feel a stinging feeling and a purple stamp appeared on his hand. When the stamp appeared he could no longer remember who Alex was. The name meant nothing to Willie now.

Or 5 times Willie knew Alex and one where Alex knew Willie

you're the only one who makes me (my wildflower) (Rated T) [Bobby/Reggie]

Summary: The tree was Reggie's safe space, and Bobby was his safe person. He could escape all his troubles there, except for one nagging thought - did he have feelings for his best friend?

Dying complicated things.

because i've known you so long, i know every cadence and what they mean (Rated G) [Alex & Julie, Julie/Luke]

Summary: Alex and Julie have always lived right next to each other. Through highs and lows, they grow up together. Also, 5 times Luke kisses Julie and it doesn't count plus 1 time Julie kisses Luke and it does count.

Alternatively, the Juke 5+1 fic from Alex's POV. Strap in, folks.

Someday (I'll See You Again) (Rated T) [Alex/Willie]

Summary: They’re wrong. Alex, you are not a failure. You’re incredible. You’re smart. You’re funny, and the best friend I could ask for. You’re a wicked talented drummer and you have a beautiful voice. And more important than all of that, is that you’re you, Alex. And the you you are is wonderful, and lovable and perfect. If your parents can’t see that, that’s their own fault. But I swear, Alex. If you’re afraid of them, I need you to tell me. You have to be safe.” Willie’s voice had gone desperate by the end. Alex deserved to know how freaking amazing he was and the fact that his parents didn’t bother to tell him, and actively worked to tear him down instead, was infuriating.

But Willie also worried about him. He’d worried about Alex since the first time he heard Mr. Mercer shouting through the window, a worry that never really went away. Not with the way Alex automatically straightened up when his parents were mentioned, as if he could hear his dad lecturing him about appearances from miles away. Not with the way Alex looked when he was with them, perfectly pieced together and falling apart at the seams, eyes distant and shoulders tense. Willie was pretty sure he had worrying about Alex etched in his bones by this point.

The Energy Never Dies (Rated T) [Gen Fic]

Summary: Well, I ain't always right, but I've never been wrong

Seldom turns out the way it does in a song

Once in a while, you get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right

--- Scarlet Begonias, Grateful Dead

Four moments across time in the loft of the Molina's garage.

[catgrump]

oumota 42 for the angst/fluff perhaps?

Alright gang I’m diving into so many of my AUs for these requests it’s not even funny

WELCOME TO THEATRE AU! This ended up being a pretty decent length too lol I worked on it all day so I hope y’all like it!!!

For set-up: Kaito & Kokichi are both studying acting in my specific Theatre AU

🌻🌻🌻

Kaito looked at his watch and sighed. Where the hell is he?

The emptiness of the rehearsal room was daunting. A tiny room of painted cinderblock walls, cold linoleum tile floors, fluorescent lights, soundproofing boards, and empty furniture made of simple shapes.

Kaito had gotten to the space early, for once. He barely slept last night since this ungodly hour was the only time he and his scene partner could get where they were both free.

He leaned forward on the bench. The metal back was getting uncomfortable.

He looked back at his watch. Now he’s five minutes late. Is that like him? He barely paid attention to him in class. It’s not like he chose Kokichi to be his scene partner; they’re doing this for a grade.

“Sorry I’m late!” A sing-songy voice chirped through the door as it opened.

Kaito looked up and saw Kokichi: just who he expected. He wasn’t expecting him to be so chipper before 9 AM, though. How could anyone? Kokichi adjusted the strap of his messenger bag on his shoulder, causing the paper bag he was holding to rustle

“It’s fine,” It wasn’t, but this wasn’t a fight Kaito wanted to pick.

“Hey, your hair looks nice,” Kokichi told him as he gathered his stuff on a rehearsal cube

Impulsively, Kaito ran his fingers through his hair to try and remember what he did to it today— that’s right: nothing. He brushed through it and walked out the door because it was so damn early he didn’t have time to style it.

Confused and embarrassed— and confused why he felt embarrassed— Kaito replied “Yeah, uh, thanks. You too.”

You too? Where did that come from? Kokichi turned to him with just as much surprise as Kaito felt. “You think so?”

And now Kaito was on the spot. Maybe it was sleep deprivation, or maybe it was hunger, but he didn’t think he was lying. Nothing wrong with noticing a guy’s hair looks nice tied back, right? Just a simple compliment. Gritting his teeth, Kaito just nodded back in response.

He kept his focus on Kokichi as he explained why he was late. Kaito didn’t really care that much. They were both here now. They need to rehearse this damn scene.

But as Kokichi was talking about the line at Bagel Bros being longer than he expected, Kaito noticed how... clean he looked. Does he always dress sharp? A cardigan over a button down and some jeans that fit him... really well. He looked down at the hoodie and sweatpants he chose for himself and felt underdressed.

Kokichi put the paper bag on top of a different rehearsal cube and picked it up, waddling toward Kaito with his script dangling from his mouth

Kaito furrowed his brow, “Sure Kokichi, I’ll help you,” He sarcastically remarked at his obvious precariousness

Kokichi moved the paper bag into his lap as he sat down and put the script beside him. “Oh if I wanted your help, I would’ve asked.”

Well shit, seems like Kokichi can dish it as well as take it. Kaito shook his head and smirked as the bag rustled some more. Kokichi reached his hand inside and pulled out a bagel wrapped in a piece of parchment paper. “Here,” he shoved it in Kaito’s direction, “I wasn’t sure what kind you’d like so I just got a plain one.”

Kaito was caught off guard. He gently took the bagel from Kokichi’s hand, somehow worried he’d snatch it back like it was a prank. “You didn’t need to—“

“Oh then next time I won’t; thanks for saving me the meal points!”

As Kaito took a bite, Kokichi continued, “Maybe next time you can buy me breakfast,” did he just wink?

Kaito swallowed. Hard. “Hehe, just a little joke!” Kokichi chuckled as he took another bagel out of the bag and took a bite himself

For some reason, Kaito felt like that wasn’t entirely true. But he couldn’t think about that right now. He grabbed his script from beside him and opened it up. “So, how do you wanna do this?”

Through bites of food, Kokichi replied, “Let’s read through the lines and if we come up with any immediate blocking ideas, pitch them.”

“Sounds good to me.”

They read through the scene relatively quickly. No one spoke up about any ideas. They just delivered the lines. It’s only a three-minute scene, so it’s not like a read-through was a waste of time.

Kokichi chuckled as he flipped back to the first page. “You know, I really wish I could play Don. I mean I totally get why it’s you; I look way too young.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

Kokichi looked at Kaito, dumbfounded. It was almost insulting. “Did you read the whole play?”

Apparently the look on Kaito’s face was enough of an answer. “You didn’t,” he sighed, “Great, now I have to explain it to you.”

“Hey, I’ll pick up a copy as soon as—“

“No, this is important. We need the context of everything so we can actually block the scene. We aren’t just going to half-ass it.”

Kokichi took a deep breath and straightened his posture. He looked really serious. “So Tennessee Williams is Don. When he was in his late 20s, he fell in love with a dancer. That’s Dick. But “Dick”, AKA a man named Kip, didn’t reciprocate his feelings. So he wrote this play to cope. Like a catharsis. The whole thing screams 1940s, but I felt for Don. Knowing the object of your affection is just out of reach.”

He paused. He was looking directly at Kaito. Kaito desperately tried to read his face. Why was he so difficult to figure out?

Kokichi laughed under his breath. “Not that you’d know anything about that.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Kokichi smirked

“Okay, so,” Kaito tried to guide the conversation back to the work they needed to do, “I guess we need to talk boundaries? If you’re saying that my character is,” the next words were unexpectedly a knot in his throat, “in love with you— your character... we’re probably gonna like, make contact, right?”

Kokichi still had that smirk on his face. He stood up with his script in hand, and started strolling around. Kaito followed him with his eyes, “Yeah, I can see Dick leading him on,” Kaito suddenly felt like he was caught in some kind of game, “Like at this part where he starts talking about Don’s eyes for the first time.”

Kaito had to crane his neck as Kokichi made his way behind him. And in the blink of an eye, Kaito felt an arm wrapped around his shoulders. “You don’t listen to me,” Kokichi read from the script, “you look at me all the time with those crazy eyes of yours but don’t understand what I say.”

Flustered feeling the waffle-knit fabric against his body, Kaito didn’t think to grab his own script. He leaned in to read Kokichi’s, making their heads touch, “I could if you said what you mean,” was Kaito’s next line

“I mean just what I say,” Kaito could feel Kokichi’s breath on his skin as they continued to read

“But what you say makes no more sense than— than hieroglyphics make sense to a man that knows just English.” Kaito had no problem reading these lines just a few moments ago. Why is he suddenly so tense now that Kokichi is this close?

And then he suddenly pulled away. “Well— like I said, I was joking,” Kokichi bounded away, embodying the dancer he was playing, but dropped character before continuing, “Was that okay?”

Kaito swallowed as he looked at the confident smirk Kokichi had on his face. “Y-yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah that’s fine.”

“Oh good,” Kokichi smiled, “I could hug you all day; you’re stronger than I imagined.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t worry about it! How about we take it from the top?”

Prompt from This List: feel free to send a request!

Tip jar available on Ko-Fi if you enjoyed it 💛

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Spencer Reid x Reader

Request: You’re the new assistant to the BAU team and intimidated by such a smart group of people, especially Dr. Spencer Reid, which leads to you having the biggest crush on the pretty boy. 

// Request by  @slutlanna976  Hey, I was wondering if maybe you could write something about maybe reader joining the BAU, but maybe as just an assistant or something? Like they take her out on cases and stuff but she's not like an actual agent, and she isn't really that smart and feels intimidated about being around them, especially spencer and has like the biggest crush on him and is super nervous around him, and she doesn't think he likes her back and over hears her talking with the girls about him? So and like she loves listening to him rant or say facts, even if she has absolutely no idea what he is talking about, and always pays attention to what he is saying? And maybe she often asks spencer really silly/stupid questions in an attempt to learn more so she feels less stupid around him and just to hear him ramble on?  ///

A/N: I hope this is what you wanted and that you like it!! Thank you for your request :) xx

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: {OPEN} CLOSED

I am currently taking requests for:

The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Elijah Mikaelson

Damon Salvatore

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid

Derek Morgan

Supernatural: (I’m only up to season 2 at the moment, so please don’t give requests with spoilers)***

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

Outer Banks (Netflix): 

 John B Routledge 

JJ Maybank 

Rafe Cameron 

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNER

You weren’t a cool and badass FBI agent like the rest of the BAU team, but only an assistant. Hotch had hired you as an assistant to the team. You were to follow along on cases and well, be an assistant to everyone on the team, to some degree of course. You were there taking notes if they asked or needed case files made or needed to find casefiles. You did a wide range of tasks and you loved every minute of it. Even if you weren’t an actual agent, you still enjoyed spending time with the team, especially with a certain Dr. Spencer Reid.

You often felt intimidated by the team since they all were smart and intelligent. You weren’t as smart as them. You didn’t have a degree like some or multiple degrees like Dr. Reid. You were always learning new things from Spencer. He was always telling you facts and statistics, things you didn’t much care for and half the time you had no idea what he was talking about. Especially when he would discuss chemistry. However, you were always listening and always paying attention to him when he spoke. Often asking questions to show you were listening and paying attention to him.

You were currently on the jet with the rest of the team, notebook and pen in your lap. Spencer sat across the table from you, Derek beside him and Emily beside you. Hotch, Rossi and JJ sitting on the couch. You looked out at the window and could see a city below, surrounded by mountains. It was a beautiful site. “That city is beautiful.” You gushed.

Spencer had glanced out at the window, “Franklin, Tennessee. Population 80, 914 as of 2018.” You turned to face him, surprise written all over your face, “How the hell did you know where we were? And you just know the city population off the top of your head?”

He looks up from the case file, clearing his throat and pointing behind you, “Well that told me where we were, but yes. I do know the city population off the top of my head. My family vacationed there once.”

You looked behind you, the TV on the wall, showing the location of the jet, blushing you turned back around, attention on Hotch as he spoke about the case.

~

Your mind wanders back to when you first met Spencer. Hotch was introducing you to the team in the briefing room and you’d shook everyone’s hand and been introduced to everyone but Spencer. He was last.

“This is Dr. Spencer Reid. Reid this is our new assistant, y/n.” Hotch announces.

You hold your hand out to him, “Doctor huh? Impressive.” Great, another person who was probably much smarter than you.

He glances at your hand, “Not that kind of doctor.. I have three PhDs in Mathematics, Chemistry and Engineering. The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It’s actually safer to kiss.”

You glanced at your hand and slowly dropped it to your side, “Right.” You nodded.

He then holds his hand out to you, “Which is why carry hand sanitizer.” He smiles, “It’s nice to meet you.” He didn’t have any hand sanitizer and he never shook hands with anyone, but the look on your face made him feel bad. Plus, he thought you were cute.

You blush and shake his hand, “Nice to meet you too.”

~

The unsub was decapitating heads and leaving them on poles around a riverbank, so Hotch decided to send you, Rossi and Reid to the crime scene of the last victim. You were careful to follow behind Spencer, scared to mess up any of the crime scene. This was a new one for you. Usually Hotch made you stay in the precinct.

You mentally cursed Hotch for sending you out in the field because you had not worn the right attire. Spencer had held his hand out to you, helping you down the steep hill, but one step on a few leaves sent you sliding. Spencer was quick to catch you under the arms, “You okay?”

You quickly nodded and composed yourself, “yeah. Yeah, thank you.” You blushed, “Hotch never sends me out in the field.”

He nods, “I don’t understand why he did because this is one of the gory crime scenes..”

You followed him and Rossi to the bank and Spencer was right, it was gory. Some of the heads had already decomposed, others in the process. You could smell death. “How could someone do this.. I mean why decapitate them and put them on a pole?

“Contrary to popular belief, decapitation is not that easy.” Spencer says, slipping on a pair of gloves.

“You don’t often hear ‘popular’ and ‘decapitation’ in the same sentence.” Rossi mumbles, getting a look at the last victim.

“Isn’t decapitation like a… medieval thing?” You ask, looking at Spencer.

He turns to face you, “According to tradition, beheading by sword was introduced to England by William the Conqueror in the 11th century. Death by the sword, in which the victim stood or knelt upright, was usually reserved for offenders of high rank, as it was considered to be the equivalent of being killed in battle (I actually received this information word for word from HERE so all credit to them. This is not my words, it’s directly quoted from the website,)” How did he know all this information word for word?

You nod, listening intently. The way his hands would wave around while he spoke, the glisten in his eyes and the way his lips were tugging at a smile. Rossi had already stopped listening when he heard Reid say ‘According to…” but you, you listened to him speak as if the world depended on it. You were captivated by how smart he was and how much information he could remember and speak back word for word. You knew you’d never be as smart as him, but Spencer was always telling you new things you’d never known and he never once would make you feel stupid, no matter how silly or stupid the question you asked was. He’d happily answer, a smile on his face. He liked talking to you about facts or statistics because he always knew you’d listen to him and you were one of the few who would let him rant, no matter what the topic was.

“Why would the victim stand or knelt upright?” You ask. It was such a dumb question to ask, but you wanted to hear him talk more.

“Well because a block would have impeded the downward stroke of the weapon.” He points to the victims, “However, these victims were beheaded using an ax, not a sword, which was actually the customary method of executing traitors in England.”  Credit 

You begin taking in the information, “Okay, so you think maybe these people could have been a traitor to the unsub somehow?”

He furrows his eyebrows in thought, “That’s actually a great assumption… I’ll have Garcia look at the victims and see what they all had in common. Great job, y/n.”

You blush and give a small shrug, “I guess I’m catching on.”

~

You were back at the precinct with the rest of the team, putting together their board for them. JJ and Emily helping pin photos of the victims and other relevant information. You glanced over your shoulder, Morgan and Reid by the table, going through case files.

“So, how’d today go with Spencer?” JJ asks, bumping hips with you.

“Oh that’s right! Hotch put you out in field with you and Rossi.” Emily smirked, wiggling her eyebrows, “So how was it?”

You blushed and shook your head, glancing back over your shoulder to make sure Spencer couldn’t hear. You turned back to the girls and leaned in close, whispering. “It was amazing.”

JJ laughed, “I figured you would enjoy being out in the field with him. That’s why I spoke to Hotch before getting on the jet”

Your eyes went wide, “You did what?!” You whispered yelled.

Emily patted your shoulder, “It’s okay. Hotch is all for it. You know, you and Reid” She laughs a little.

You groaned a little, “Stop.. I can’t believe you guys talked to Hotch.” You bit your lip a little, “It really was a good day though. I enjoyed seeing him work. He’s so smart and intelligent and just plain.. just plain sexy.”

“Oh gosh, you are so smitten with him.” JJ pinned the last photo on the board, “Why don’t you talk to him?”

You shake your head, “Oh no. He’s too smart and intelligent for me. Plus, he doesn’t like me like that. I think he has his eyes for that front desk lady.”

Emily and JJ both rolled their eyes, “He is not too smart and intelligent for you. You are so beautiful and he’d be crazy to not like you.” JJ says.

“Yeah and I know for sure he doesn’t have an eye for the front desk lady. I think she does, but he’s not interested. He’s too polite to tell her off.”

Spencer didn’t mean to ease drop on the conversation, but as soon as his ears heard his name, his ears perked up. He continued going through files with Morgan, but he listened in. He couldn’t help but blush a little when he heard you talk about him. He agreed with you, today was great. He enjoyed spending time with you in the field and you listening to his rants. Plus, your input about the unsub seeing the victims as a traitor, turned out to be true. The victims had one thing in common and they all attended game nights at the same bar. He silently thanked JJ and Emily for putting their nose in your business and asking Hotch to let you out on the field.

~

Case was solved, unsub was taken to jail and now you and the team were on the jet heading back home. It was an early flight and you hadn’t had time to get coffee but luckily there was a coffee maker on the jet. You headed into the little area where the coffee maker was and waited for the coffee to brew, leaning against the counter you let your eyes close for a second. You were going to need a nap later.  

Spencer cleared his throat, “y/n?”

“Hmm?” you say looking up. When you see it’s Spencer, you immediately stand up a little straighter, “Hey, Spencer.” You blushed a little, motioning to the coffee maker, “Want me to make you a cup?”

He shakes his head and steps closer, “Maybe later.”

You nod, “Is there something else I can get you, then?”

“A date.”

Your eyes go wide, “A w-what?”

“A date.” His fingers tap on the counter and then he looks up at you, “I um don’t like the front desk lady. I like someone else.”

“Oh god. You heard that conversation…” You groan and cover your face in embarrassment, “I can’t believe you overheard that.”

He chuckles, taking your hands off your face, “I’m glad I did.. I wasn’t sure if you liked me. But now that I know that you like me back, I can ask you on a date.” His thumb rubs your hand, “So what do you say? Can I take you out on a date?”

You look down at y’all’s hands ‘his hands are so soft,’ and then back up at him, nodding, “I would love too, Spencer.”

He smiles, “Great.. so um dinner tonight then?”

“Sounds great.” You smile.

“Quit pushing me before they hear us!” Emily whisper yells.

“I want to listen too!” JJ whispers.

“Did your plan work?”  Hotch’s voice.

“My man, Reid.” Morgan.

“How is it that Reid gets a woman but I can’t find my 4th wife?” Rossi.

[sinceileftyoublog]

Nashville Ambient Ensemble Interview: A Little Help From My Friends

BY JORDAN MAINZER

“I feel like Nashville his my home,” Michael Hix said. The experimental musician, who now leads the Nashville Ambient Ensemble, is fully immersed in the ambient country scene that’s logically emerged from the fingerpicked guitar renaissance of the early 2010s. But for him, it took coming back to Tennessee to get there.

Hix grew up in Southeast Tennessee in a rural town, the closest city Chattanooga, before going to college in Nashville and staying there for a few years after. Then, like many before him, he moved to New York, exploring the various experimental music scenes thriving in the nation’s biggest city. After he and his wife had a child, they realized they needed more space and moved back to Nashville two years ago. “It’s been great to be back,” Hix said. “The avant garde and experimental/music scene--there’s always been a space for that here, but I really noticed when I moved back two years ago, it’s really grown an amazing amount. There are a lot of new people in the scene I didn’t know previously.” 

Many of those new people would end up playing with Hix in Nashville Ambient Ensemble and on their debut album Cerulean, released last month via Centripetal Force. The group--Hix on synth and keys, venerable pedal steel player Luke Schneider, pianist Kim Rueger, baritone electric guitarist Jack Silverman, singer Deli Paloma-Sisk, guitar synth player Cynthia Cárdenas, and electric guitarist Timon Kaple--came together slowly as Hix would meet the various members at shows and parties. (He knew only Kaple and Schneider before moving back to Nashville.) Once he had a group and music that embraced improvisation more heavily than any of his solo material--he calls each song “a loose constant theme and a cycle of solos”--the band rehearsed a couple times and recorded over two sessions. Their chemistry is palpable, on the arpeggiated “Ingia”, the guitar-forward title track, and swaying “Coda”. And as it turns out, having a kid also influenced Hix’s ability to let go. “Part of this project was me realizing as a parent that I didn’t have the time anymore to sweat over my solo compositions where I’d have things ornately composed down to the smallest detail,” he said. “If I called on a little help with my friends and got an ensemble environment together and relied on improvisation, I could make more music with less content.”

Speaking with Hix earlier this year over the phone, I got the sense that not just collaboration, but taking in other types of art directly seep into his creative output just as much as anything. Hix is as likely to cite ambient legend William Basinski and director Andrei Tarkovsky as formative influences as he is instrumental or experimental country music; he trades music, book, and film recommendations with passion and curiosity. With an increasingly open approach to music making, you realize how Hix and Nashville Ambient Ensemble both lead and transcend the ambient country scene highlighted by artists like Schneider and Chuck Johnson. Laying the groundwork but providing space for expression, the Nashville Ambient Ensemble could switch out members and instruments and still retain the exploratory spirit of the group and the scene.

Below, read my conversation with Hix about moving back to Nashville, starting the Ensemble, making Cerulean, and what the future holds. 

Since I Left You: When you lived in New York, did you feel isolated from the Nashville scene?

Michael Hix: Yeah, I was kind of isolated from it. In fact, when I moved to New York, I honestly didn’t see myself ever moving back to Nashville. I was planning on just staying in New York. I wasn’t really keeping up with what was going on here. I was just totally invested in the kind of music I was doing in New York. I was really surprised when I came back here that there were so many new artists doing really great work, and a pretty good, sizable experimental music community. That’s been really cool to see. I’ve been able to meet a lot of new people.

I expected that I would get back in the groove in my old circle, but I’ve met so many new people.

SILY: Of the folks in the Nashville Ambient Ensemble, how many were in your old circle, and how many were new?

MH: The only person I really knew was Timon Kaple. We went to college together, and he was in my larger circle of friends. The only other person I knew was Luke Schneider. He was just an acquaintance of mine, and we had never hung out but ran into each other when I moved back. At the time, he was starting to record his own solo, ambient, new age kind of music. We just hit it off and started to exchange music. Those two guys were the only ones I knew, and the others I met when I moved back to Nashville.

SILY: When was this group formed, and when was this music written and recorded?

MH: This took off in a crazy way. I feel like I didn’t really have to think about it very much. It happened very organically and quickly. One of the things I was struck by when I moved back to Nashville was how unique it was in how music is made here, in a really collective manner. Even if you’re not getting into a project with someone, they want to jam with you. I played one show in January 2019, and just at that first show, I had 3 or 4 people ask me if I wanted to jam or if I collaborated. That’s really representative of Nashville. That first show that I played, Timon came up to me--we hadn’t made music before--and asked to get together some time. It’s the same night I met Jack Silverman. I also met Deli Paloma-Sisk that night. She played that show as well. After that, I got together with Timon once in 2019, and I had a couple more people in that period ask me if I made music, so I thought I’d just make a supergroup. 

I had been in a similar group ensemble thing before I left Nashville, back in 2011. I was really wanting to do that again. At a certain point, I just started asking people if they were interested in an ambient ensemble. I asked Jack if he wanted to be involved, Luke, he was on board. Deli joined. The other two, Kim and Cynthia, I met Cynthia at a party one night and Deli was telling her about the project, and Cynthia asked to be in the group, and I was like, “Yeah, sure!” She has this MIDI guitar synthesizer set up. That’s what she plays on the album--really amazing. Kim Rueger, who goes by the moniker Belly Full Of Stars, I was speaking to her at a show one night asking her if she knew any pianists, and she was like, “I play piano.” It came together super organically. We had two rehearsals January 2020. These people are all really talented. We booked two days at the Battle Tapes studio in Nashville and recorded everything live in the studio in two sessions. It was really quick.

SILY: That’s a lot of lead up to a short recording process!

MH: Organizing it together took some time, but once we got everyone on board, it was really quick. I sent around some demos, we rehearsed twice, and then we recorded the album.

SILY: The opening track, “Breve”, is effective because you can hear all the elements going on, and it’s a unique hybrid of styles, the electronics with the country western instrumentals. Why did you lead off with this track, and what’s the story behind it?

MH: The pieces came together really quickly. I wrote every piece except for “Cerulean”, which was written by Jack Silverman. All the tracks I wrote came together really quickly, and it just so happened I had two that were a lot shorter than the other three, and I had the idea of bookending the album with these short tracks that serve as a prologue and an epilogue, which is why I placed “Breve” first. Knowing it was gonna be the first track and an introduction, I wanted to showcase all of the sounds in a very concise, clear way. That was kind of my direction with the track.

SILY: It’s interesting the title track is the only one not written by you!

MH: [laughs] Right.

SILY: Why did you name the album after that track?

MH: I was speaking to my wife about this, and I had a couple other ideas for album titles. She said, “Read me the names of your tracks.” We both thought that Cerulean was a really great title that was evocative but not heavy. You didn’t really have to read into it very much. It provided a tone for the album. This project was honestly about trying to get myself out of the way. I really wanted the other players involved to really shine on the album. I really liked the idea of using someone else’s [song] for the album title.

SILY: The track “Inga” seems to me to be exemplary of the mix between structure and improvisation that’s on the record. Can you talk about balancing those two aspects of the music?

MH: “Inga” and “Conversion” are probably the two examples where we achieved what we were aiming towards the most. In “Inga”, I definitely provided, to use a metaphor, the structure of the house, but everyone else made it a home. Something that had beauty in it. All of the songs, we had a very loose structure, some charts with the chord changes, but the sheet music for the songs would be a list that was just the order of the solos. I think the reason “Inga” works so well along with "Conversion” is that everyone has a solo in that song. You have the extended experience of the piece cycling through solos for each of the soloists.

The way we recorded that one, we had a loose structure of these chord changes and some from my modular synth, but the primary structure of it was the order of the solos. In the studio when we were recording, I had a microphone and would just call out whose solo was coming up next.

SILY: Why did you release “Conversion” as the first single?

MH: I thought about “Inga” for the first track, but personally, “Conversion” is generally the strongest track on the album. At the same time, I think it’s the most representative of what I wanted to achieve with the project and the concept.

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the cover art?

MH: The cover art is a painting by Wendy Walker Silverman, who is a really great Nashville artist who is also the wife of Jack Silverman, the guitarist in the band. The cover features her painting. It’s been kind of altered by the person who designed the album art [Alethea Hall], but that is her painting there.

SILY: Are there loose plans to perform any of these songs in a live stream or socially distant show?

MH: We would definitely like to play some shows. Due to the nature of the project and the fact that every person involved has their own music projects and other things going on, it would be hard for us, once touring is a thing that happens, to go on tour. But we would like to play an album release show in Nashville once that makes sense to do so. We’ll probably wait till we can have a good amount of people attend in terms of COVID restrictions. We’ll see what happens after that and what kind of opportunities arrive for performances.

SILY: What else is next for the Ensemble?

MH: I’ll see what kind of level of interest people have in it, both listening and enjoying as well as other artists and musicians in the community here, whether anyone expresses interest in being involved. I’ve definitely already started to think about a round two and have some ideas of people I’d love to ask to be involved. I’d like to change things up a bit and get some other people and instruments involved. We’ll see: I’m not exactly sure. It was a ton of work organizing the whole thing, being a big group, and getting the recordings done. I mixed the album, so having a regular job, being a parent, and trying to carry through a project like that is a lot of work. I definitely want to do it again.

SILY: What have you been listening to, reading, and watching lately?

MH: I love the new William Basinski album Lamentations. I really loved the new compilation from Music From Memory, Virtual Dreams: Ambient Explorations In The House & Techno Age, 1993​-​1997. I just listened to a reissue from Aguirre Records from Morgan Fisher and Lol Coxhill, called Slow Music. It’s one of those albums that really didn’t get a lot of attention back then but could be considered an essential or cornerstone album for a genre of music. Morgan Fisher is a really great composer--he has a few great albums--but this is the best one I’ve heard of his. It takes some tape recordings of Lol Coxhill playing I think soprano saxophone, and he cuts the tape up and makes a composition out of the various recordings. 

I watched the films of Bi Gan: Kaili Blues and Long Day’s Journey Into Night. Both are absolutely mind-blowing. I’m a big Andrei Tarkovsky fan, and he’s a big influence on me. Bi Gan definitely has some strong Tarkovsky vibes but definitely has his own language. Long Day’s Journey Into Night was in particular amazing.

SILY: Is there anything I didn’t ask about the record you want to say?

MH: One of the things I’m most satisfied about this album is I’m almost not on it. I didn’t anticipate it, but realized it when listening to the recordings. I’m always working on trying to remove my ego as much as possible from my music, which is hard when you’re making solo music. I think William Basinski achieves that in an amazing way, and I haven’t been that effective at it. But I think it happened in the Ensemble album. There’s my modular synth sound, and I play keys, but I didn’t do any solos on the album. It was really satisfying to know that though I organized the project and wrote the music, it was the other people who shined through.

The other thing I’m happy about is that it really does have a Nashville sound, in large part because of the pedal steel, but it’s there with the other players as well. To some extent, the music does give you a flavor of what Nashville is about and what’s unique about it. There are some really great artists doing some really progressive sounds.

Cerulean by Nashville Ambient Ensemble

[kingsborodaisy]

( ZENDAYA, 22, FEMALE) I just bumped into [ DAISY GREENE ] the other day while walking down [ EAST ] Kingsboro, where [ SHE ] live. I hear they can be [ FREE SPIRITED ] and [ FLAKY ], but when I think of them I immediately think about [ THE LOUD STEREOS AT A LOCAL CONCERT VENUE, A ROADTRIP WITH NO CLEAR DESTIONATION, & SWEET TEA IN THE SUMMER]. ( sarah , 24, she/her, est )

Soooo here is my third child, Daisy. I hope you guys enjoy her! I drew some slight inspiration from past muses of mine and Peyton Sawyer from One Tree Hill.

Born and raised in a small, rural town in Georgia. Now, when I say small, I say SMALL. Like, a popular or less than 2,000 people. So, everyone generally always knew another. Close, tight knit community. 

The youngest out of three children. She has two older brothers; one that is two years older and one that is four years older. 

Grew up in a very strict, religious household. Went to church every Sunday. Prayed at dinner every night, read the bible constantly. Very, very strict and conservative family values, folks. 

Her mother is a nurse and her father is a farmer and football coach. They grew up on a family farm with lots of land, animals, etc. She always had memories of waking up early to feed the pigs, cows, chickens, and knows how to ride a horse.

Ever since she could remember, she was involved in something. Started taking beauty lessons and dance classes as soon as she could walk. Daisy began doing local beauty pageants within the state and she was quick to become a star. She would win competition after competition, getting so many trophies and ribbons. They filled her room and home. The girl was miss teen Georgia for several years in a row, becoming Miss Teen USA when she was sixteen. 

Also was involved with cheerleading and other clubs while she was in high school, she was very popular and always was nominated for dance royalties. 

With being the only girl in the family, she was always on a rather tight leash. She was never allowed to date or be around boys, her family being afraid she was going to get heart broken. 

As she got older, she began to question a lot of things. Her own religion and just herself in general? She always felt like she was being forced to be somebody she really wasn’t and having to live in the shadows of others, being molded to be somebody her parents loved and nothing more. 

She began to express an interest for music when she was around 10, 11? Started covering country songs as apart of the talent portion of her competitions and as she got older, her taste in music switched to rock. Began to idolize people like Avril Lavinge, Hayley Williams, Joan Jett, etc. They just all seemed so cool and free-spirited. She wanted that. 

High School went by quickly and she honestly didn’t want to go to college. She wanted to travel and move somewhere to start a music career. Daisy tried to explain this to her parents but they didn’t care, they thought it was a stupid idea. 

Daisy would be stuck between a rock and a hard time. She would try to please her parents and go to college and major in something she would hate, or take a risk.

She somehow would get enough guts within herself to just, run away. Literally. The day before her high school graduation, she packed up everything she could and took her old, beat up pickup truck and left. She left a note explaining that this was what she needed. For the past almost eighteen years of her life, she didn’t even know who she was. 

The young girl had no destination or true goal where she was going, she just needed to get away. Eventually made her way up until Tennessee before her truck would break down. A nice, old man would try to help fix it up for her but there was no hope for the Ford truck. He would offer to trade her truck for his old, newly renovated WV van. She took the offer and it would be the best thing to ever happen to her.

Daisy was now the proud owner of a baby blue, VW van that would be her home. Living out of a van was different and a challenge, but brought her so many amazing opportunities. 

Over the next few years, she would be off the grind. She deleted all of her social media and didn’t keep in contact from anybody back home. She would travel all across the united states, her favorite places being California and Wyoming. 

Daisy would stay in certain states for a few months at a time, working odd end jobs to make money. Mostly waitressing or playing local gigs. She wasn’t making much, but enough to get by. 

Heard her cousin Spencer was living in New York and decided, hey, that’ll be my next stop for a bit. 

Is very new to Kingsboro and has been there for a day. She’s not sure how long she’ll be here, but she’s enjoying it so far. Wants to try to start up a serious band and or meet other musicians in the neighborhood.

OTHER INFO:

It took her a long time to realize, but she considers herself pansexual.

Still very much has a cute lil’ southern accent

Her favorite drink is lemonade and sweet tea with lots of sugar

Is a strong lover of breakfast food

Has learned to accept more of her natural beauty, being forced to live behind fancy dresses, makeup, and hair for years

Can play the guitar and drums 

Her van’s name is Wendy 

[thorniest-rose]

cherry, darling

teen reddie drabble. i just wanted an excuse to write about eddie in a little blue waiter’s outfit a la twin peaks and richie being a bad boy in a leather jacket.

Eddie’s shift at the Delicious Derry Diner has just started when he hears the welcoming twinkle of the brass door bell. He adjusts his baby blue hat, makes sure his apron is tied securely, and turns to smile brightly at whoever’s walked in.

The greeting dies in his mouth when he sees who it is. Trashmouth Tozier. Shit.

“Sandy,” he whispers through the small window into the kitchen, at the blonde girl who works Saturdays with him. “Can you serve the guy who’s just come in?”

“Can’t hun, sorry. Gotta help put out the pies when they’re ready.”

Eddie bites his lip. Richie has found a booth near the back of the diner where he’s lounging like a big cat. He’s got his leather jacket on today and his hair is a mess of dark curls that spill over his forehead. Damn it. Out of all the diners in Derry, why did he have to come to this one?

Julie, Eddie’s boss, sees him dawdling and comes over.

“Aren’t you going to serve that boy, Eddie? You know it’s policy to serve every customer within five minutes of them coming in.” 

And Eddie knows he can’t refuse. He’s only been here for two weeks and he needs this job. It’s the only thing that’ll get him out the house on weekends, and he can save up the money for college. It also beats bagging groceries or working at the pharmacy with that creep Mr Keene.

“Sure thing, Julie,” he chirps. “Was just checking that my laces were tied.”

“Just make sure he orders something,” Julie says, frowning over at Richie. “The boy looks like he could be trouble.”

You have no idea, he thinks sullenly.

Eddie grabs a menu and makes his way over to Richie. Richie grins widely as he watches him, his arms outstretched along the back of the booth. He gives a little wolf whistle when Eddie gets to his table.

“Richie, what are you doing here?” he hisses, shoving the menu in front of him. 

“Good morning to you too, Eds. And I’m hungry obviously.”

Eddie just glares at him. He knows Richie and that won’t be the only reason. Just because they used to be friends doesn’t mean Richie has innocent intentions.

Richie raises his eyebrows at him. 

“Aren’t you going to give me the proper Delicious Derry greeting? I’ve heard great things about the hospitality here.”

Eddie looks over his shoulder at Julie, who’s watching them closely. He needs to get this right. He plasters on a big fake smile as he turns back to Richie. 

“Hello and welcome to the Delicious Derry Diner. We’re the greatest diner in all of Maine with the richest coffee and sweetest pie you’ll ever have. How can I help you today?”

“Very nice,” Richie purrs and his eyes dip to Eddie’s shorts. The blue ones with the white trim that match his shirt and hat. Eddie wants the ground to swallow him up. If the kids at school find out about this he’ll never live it down.

“Are you going to order anything or have you just come in to make fun of me?”

Richie leans back as if considering this. He looks good, Eddie thinks reluctantly. He’s still a gangly giraffe but over the last couple of years his face has gone from a bit stupid to striking, with sharp cheekbones and full lips. And at some point he swapped his awful glasses for ones that actually fit properly.

“Are you on the menu?” Richie asks.

“Richie,” he hisses, looking around to make sure no one’s heard them. “No, obviously not. And can you stop gawking at me like that.”

“But you’re so fucking cute.“ He juts his chin at Eddie’s uniform. “Seriously, you get paid to wear that?”

Eddie flushes at the implication that he’s just here to be pretty. “No, dickwad, they pay me to serve fuckheads like you.”

Richie makes a tutting sound with his tongue. “Such sass. Don’t know if I’ll be able to tip with an attitude like that. Shall I tell your boss about the mouth on her lovely little waiter? I bet she’ll be shocked. Won’t look good for you to be getting complaints so early on.”

“Richie, you wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t I?”

And Eddie knows he wouldn’t. Richie likes to play rough, and he hangs out with a group of stoner dickheads now, but he’s not that cruel. At least Eddie doesn’t think so. But Eddie can’t risk it. He needs this job.

“Fine, please tell me what you’d like and I’ll get it right away.”

“Read me the menu.”

“What?”

“Come on, toots. I don’t got all day.”

“Read your own goddamn menu!” he spits. 

“Excuse me,” Richie calls, looking over Eddie’s shoulder toward the counter.

“Okay, okay,” he says frantically, hands scrambling at the menu.

And he does. He reads Richie everything on the menu, from every variant of coffee to every way you can have your eggs to every flavour of pie. His cheeks flush red behind the plastic and he makes sure his face is hidden as he dutifully reads off every item. 

When he finally gets to the end, he peeks over the top of the menu to find Richie staring at him with one of those stupid, toothy grins on his face.

“So what would you like?”

“Hmmm,” Richie lolls his head back to look at the ceiling, and Eddie can’t help but stare at the long, pale arch of his throat. At his bobbing Adam’s apple. The sharp curve of his collarbone above his white t-shirt.

He makes Eddie wait, as he hums and haws, takes the menu from him to look over it again. Eddie shifts, fingers twisting at the front of his apron.

“I’ll have the eggs and bacon,” Richie says finally, snapping the menu closed. “I want cherry pie, too. And coffee.”

“Do you want any cream and sugar with that?”

Richie grins again, a slower one this time, as he tilts his head at Eddie.

“Pretty sure I have enough sugar right here.”

Eddie feels his cheeks go cartoon-fire red. 

“Are you sure you’re not on the menu? Not even as a special?”

“No, Richie.” 

Richie makes a disappointed noise. “Shame. At least the view’s nice.”

“I’ll be back with your coffee,” Eddie stutters, reaching out to take the menu. Except Richie whisks it away with one of his stupidly long arms.

“What is it now?”

“I lied when I said I just came in to eat. I wanted to see you.”

Eddie’s stomach swoops. He hasn’t hung out with Richie in years. Can’t remember the last time they had a conversation when Richie wasn’t loudly calling him princess, or pushing into his space and telling him to hand over his notes from class. Even though Richie is a low-key genius and wouldn’t need any help if he actually bothered turning up.

“You could just talk to me at school.”

“I could, but you’re always with those dweebs from band.”

“They’re my friends, Trashmouth, and they’re nice.”

“Nice,” Richie scoffs. “Since when did you ever care about nice? Sounds boring.”

“It’s not boring, Richie. Just because we don’t ditch school to get high or think fun is hijacking people’s cars for a joyride.”

Richie hums, finally lets Eddie take the menu from him. Their fingers brush for a split second, and Eddie’s chest clenches.

“I hear you still hang out with Bill sometimes,” Richie murmurs.

“Yeah, sometimes. Why?”

“Guy’s an asshole.”

Of course he’d say that. Things have never been the same between them since that summer. Since Bill struck Richie and the others had to break them apart before they killed each other. Not that Eddie thinks about it much. Not without getting a phantom ache in his arm, or zoning out as he stares at the scar on his hand.

“Heard he thinks he’s the next Tennessee Williams.”

“Bill’s talented, Richie. He got a short story published in a national competition. And he’s getting a full scholarship to study English.”

Eddie pauses. “Do you see any of the others?”

“Eh, not really. I keep in touch with Marsh. Talk to her on the phone sometimes and she sends me letters.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up. He hasn’t seen Beverly since that summer she moved away. “Beverly? Really? How is she?”

“Better now she’s not living with her evil prick of a dad. She wants to go into fashion, makes all her own clothes.”

“Cool,” Eddie says, and he means it. He’d love to see Bev again. Maybe if she’d stayed she could have helped the Losers remain friends. Slowed the glue from dissolving between all of them. It’s true Eddie sees Bill sometimes, and every now and then does his homework with Stan, but it’s never the same. Not like it was before. They would have died for each other; now they barely stop to say hello.

“Hey,” he says, just thinking of something. “How did you know I work here? I never see anyone else from school come in.”

“I keep my eye on you, Kaspbrak.”

“You do?” 

Which doesn’t make any sense. Richie doesn’t talk to Eddie, doesn’t even interact with him unless he’s cooing nonsense at him at school as all his grungy asshole friends look on and laugh. Nice shorts, Kaspbrak, or, Heard you showed your flute a real nice time last night. Trying to make me jealous?

“Yeah. And not like I’m complaining.” Richie’s eyes trail across Eddie’s thighs again. “Heard they have the juiciest peach pie here.” 

And Richie’s being a jerk. He knows that. But he can’t stop the way his stomach tightens at his words. The way it always does whenever Richie calls out to him at school. Can’t help how hot his face gets. How easily rattled he is by everything he does.

“I’ll, erm, go put your order in now.”

“Thanks, doll.” Richie winks at him, his smile as slow and molten as hot honey.  

Eddie walks away, cursing himself as he stumbles slightly. He glances back to see Richie watching him. Wonders if he has time to go out back and scream into his apron before he has to serve Richie his food.

[dachi-chan25]

How do months in 2020 manage to last years and yet end in the blink of an eye???

Anyway I did finish my TBR so...

1 -The Vampire Armand (The Vampire Chronicles 5) by Anne Rice

🌟🌟🌟

Sooo, this one was my least favorite the 1st time I read this series and I hoped to like it more since I wasn't finding Armand as annoying in the first 4 books but gosh I really feel Anne Rice doesn't have much love for characters that are not Lestat, cuz I feel Armand could have been intresting but the book lacks the passion and wit Anne adds everytime she writes Lestat so yeah it was pretty meh. I love the cover tho.

2.-Dead and Alive (Prodigal Son #3) - Dean R. Koontz

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I was plesantly surprised. I hadn't very high expectatives for this one cuz even though I enjoyed book 2 I thought the pacing was waaaaay too slow, the plot wasn't advancing much. But this one was super cool, it picked up inconcluse storylines from the 1st book and that CLIFFHANGER!!!! The romance between the detectives was meh, like I wish I had liked them both more but the Erikas have my heart and I want to see more of Deucalion.

3.- Wild Cards I - George R. R Martin

🌟🌟

I was so disappointed. Ok so the concept is pretty cool. Like an alien virus is set loose and it causes some people to have amazing superpowers and other people gets terrible mutations, What's not to like??? But oh my fucking god. The mysogyny of this book. I can usually read books with mysogyny like I enjoy classics like 1984 despite the rampant way in which the protagonist hates woman. I couldn't handle it here. The female characters have less dimension than a sheet of paper and they depend entirely on the male characters it ruined the whole thing for me, and the writing was mediocre at times (I mean I know this was written by multiple authors but at points the quality of the writing droped like super hard) I am not picking the next one.

4.-My Sister the Serial Killer - Oyinkan Braithwaite

🌟🌟🌟🌟

I just love horror stories where a pretty girl is the killer. Like they are so enjoyable. And this particular story is so good because we have this 2 sisters, they are very different, one is like the epítome of beauty and the other is an average woman. The pretty one literally can do no wrong in everyones eyes and that’s just fine cuz she just so happens to kill her boyfriends. Her sister who is a nurse helps her clean up and get rid of the bodies because at first she believes they were abusive towards her sister but then she starts to get suspicious and things are super cool and intresting. I feel it could have gone deeper with some stuff but it was a great and quick read.

5.- Moloka'i - Alan Brenett

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I cried so much. This book is about Rachel, a girl diagnosed with leprosy at 7 years old during the 1890's and is sent away to live at the leprosarium in Moloka'i, Hawaii. We follow Rachel as she makes friends and family and loses them all over again to the sickness as she grows older. This book was so beautiful and pretty diverse (I loved Leilani I had never seen trans representation in a 19th century book) full of history and humanity. An amazing read I fully recommend it.

6.- New Suns: Original speculative fiction by people of color - Nisi Shawl.

🌟🌟🌟🌟

I Loved it. One of my main problems with anthologies is that inevitably I find some stories better than other but that was not the case here, every story had an intresting premise and amazing writing (my fave was maybe the one with the lesbian mermaid or the one were a woman raised the death to get rid of colonizers) like I need to read more from all these authors ASAP.

7.- Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevski

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I love me some good classic. This one is really amazing , I love how much we get into Raskolinov's psyche and the things that lead him to comit the crime and the effect it has on him once he does. And all this conversation about morality and if it's ever valid to commit a crime even if it's for the "greater good" and all that good stuff about how people trapped in poverty are more likely to fall down the rabbit whole of prostitution and crime and yassssss it was good,

8.- A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess

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I struggled like I should have known they would use the slang like in the movie (but I watched the movie in Spanish) so I was just vibing in the first few pages of the book barely understanding shit, except those words in other lenguages and then I started to pick it up and the book is so good??? Like Alex is awfull but the book actually makes a compeling argument about free will and the concept of choosing between good or evil. In general terms the movie is super accurate tho and yeah I really enjoyed this read.

9.- The Winter of the Witch (Winternight #3) - Katherine Arden

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I LOVED it. This book absolutely messed me up. Like I suffered a lot for my girl Vasya. And then all the stuff with the Bear and Morozco and the war, ahhhhh it was a LOT, but the ending was pretty satisfying, I cried tons and I am hoping we get another saga maybe following Marya this time????? I will just read anything Katherine Arden writes tbh.

10.-Lifestyles of Gods and Monsters - Emily Roberson

🌟🌟🌟

It was ok??? I wished it had been more about the sisters together as opposed to make Ariadne "not like the other girls" I am sick of that trope, and the "beautiful but doesn't know it" and less about the romance. Like the premise of retelling this greek myth as a reality show actually picked my interest but the execution wasn't that great it had lots of clichés I hate and mentioned before, what I kinda liked was that even though Ariadne had a romance she decides to start over by herself when things kinda fall apart and she is maybe open to dating another dude at the end, which honestly was a relief for me cuz I feel a lot of time YA pushes this idea that your first love is the only love you'll ever feel and that’s dumb .

11.-The Glass Menagerie - Tennessee Williams

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I really love this play, well Tennessee Williams plays in general, and aire felt like re reading this one. I love Laura so much and it was a pleasure to read this again.

12.-In the Miso soup - Ryu Murakami

🌟🌟🌟

This is a very gorey book. Lots of graphic murders and violence, mentions of the sex trade in Japan. This was a very intresting read, lots of insight into the japanese society and how this very cliché image people have of it is completely wrong. Again sex trade is heavily discused as our protagonist makes a living out of taking foreigners to experience the sex clubs in Tokyo he meets this sketchy american guy who hires him, our protagonist has a feeling he might be a murderer and it goes from there. I really enjoyed it a lot and might consider reading another book by Ryu Murakami.

13.- The Downstairs Girl - Stacey Lee

🌟🌟🌟

It was amazing to read about an asian girl in the post-civil war era, and how this minority kind of lived in a limbo cuz white people didn't think much about them when making up all this crap ass rules about where PoC where supposed to live in or sit. And our protagonist Jo, is really a charming girl with a lot of opinions and so passionate I loved her so much. It was a bit cheesy at times, and I saw the book's big reveal coming but still it was a pretty good read.

14.-En el bosque bajo los cerezos en flor - Ango Sakaguchi

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Me gustaron mucho las historias, todas realmente te meten a una atmósfera japonesa: las imágenes como las flores de cerezo, los kimonos, templos, budas. Y las mezclan con un terror por lo desconocido y lo no visto que encaja tan bien en cada una de las historias. Realmente lo disfrute muchísimo y me gustaría leer más trabajos de este autor.

15.- Agamemnon - Aeschylus

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I am weak for the greek plays. And this rocks so much. Chlymenestra is a queen, I stan her so hard. This play always makes me feel so bad for Cassandra, like how shitty is it to have the power to make super accurate predictions but no one ever believes you???

[optimiist]

𝚒’𝚍  𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙  𝚊𝚗  𝚎𝚢𝚎  𝚘𝚗  𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖  ;   that  there  is  LIONEL  MILLER  ,  notorious  for  being  (  resentful  )  and  (  tense  )  ,  but  there  are  times  when  he  can  be  (  considerate  )  and  (  self-effacing  )  .   i've  heard  that  he  could  pass  as  a  YUSUF GATEWOOD  doppelganger  ,  but  i  don't  see  it  .   the  (  thirty-eight  )  year - old  cis man has  been  in  town  for  (  his entire life  )  and  they  are  an  (  english professor  )  by  day  and  murder  suspect  by  night  .   they  tend  to  spark  images  of  an endless collection of the romantics - from the john donnes of the world to the carson mccullers’ ,  the perfect leather-on-tweed stereotype , being a willing human doormat to those with bright eyes and a kind smile , rehearsing the humphrey bogart but ending up the victor laszlo , a secret even worse than murder: …your favorite movie is the abomination of 2019  .   you’ll  know  when  they  walk  by  because  they  always  seem  to  be  blasting  as  time  goes  by  by  DOOLEY WILSON  .   it  truly  explains  why  they're  known  as  THE  SECRET  ADMIRER  .

TO KNOW:

born to a single mother, lionel was lucky in never joining the daddy issues™ club. nonetheless, his mother’s status still deeply affected him. with all of the men he watched go in and out of her life, none staying around long enough for him to call his true role model, he found a very thin line - but it was still a line and he knew exactly which side he wanted to be on. the line? separated the good men from the toxic men. and, of course, he wanted to be a good man!

it should be noted that his mother worked in the local library ( he was unaware of why it was named what it was named for quite a while - he thought it was just named after abraham lincoln and some other guy ). naturally, he spent most of his youth reading authors all the way from shel silverstein to lewis carroll to… most importantly… t.s. eliot. why is this the most important? you may ask yourself.

he unironically likes cats. the book it was based on… the musical… even the 2019 movie… there are very few people he’d ever admit it to, but… his favorite movie is cats (2019).

ANYWAY, as he grew, he matured into the catalogs of writers such as john donne, william shakespeare, tennessee williams, carson mccullers…

he was fucked!!

the authors and the poets and the playwrights all gave him a sense of what love is, what love must be. he began writing poetry, attempting to mimic donne’s subtle style. this both helped and harmed him when he met the girl he was totally sure would be the love of his life: chastity. she was gorgeous and kind and had bright eyes… 

he prepared a speech asking her out and rehearsed it every morning. just in case he forgot, he even wrote it down on notecards. but, when the time came, he was always just too… frozen. 

he didn’t shoot his shot on time - before he knew it, ethan kim was dating the girl he’d psyched himself out of asking out one too many times. 

although it was difficult for him to try to see chastity as just a friend ( perhaps friendly acquaintance at most on her part ), he did his best… especially when ethan enlisted him to help him get the girl™.lionel had plenty of moral qualms about it, but… ultimately, money was money. libraries didn’t make much. even the smallest amount would help. 

not to mention, it was an excellent way to see if he… would’ve been successful in asking her out. in words, at least.

he’d give ethan poems he’d already written, soliloquies he’d been inspired to write, and just… ultimately give him the advice that all of the romantics had given him throughout the years.

when chastity was murdered, his heart :( shattered :( died along with her but more poetically :( while his alibi checked out - he had been in the library writing a poem in donne’s style, the subject inspired by mccullers’s ‘the lover v. the beloved’ tangent in the ballad of the sad café, and he won! there were some areas in which they could poke holes: his mother, who clearly wouldn’t want her son to go to jail, was the only eye witness, they had no way of proving the date he submitted the poem, etc., etc. but, for the most part, his alibi was pretty solid.

this idiot didn’t profess his love until she was dead. WAYYYYY too late to shoot ur shot buddy!!

anyway, he’d already gotten accepted into college - thank god because he, otherwise, would not have been in the state to write a worthy application. he chose local for his undergrad. 

along the way, he found some new people to love. or try to love. it wasn’t exactly the actual relationship that made it hard for him to ‘get over’ chastity, what considering they’d never had one, rather the literal death and lack of closure.

but, come grad school, he met the woman he would be able to call his wife!! she was lovely and kind and beautiful and had such bright eyes. after only two years of dating, he proposed (granted, he’d been prepping… for an entire year... ) and!! she said yes!!

with an english professor slot (yes, slot) opening up at the university, they returned to taunwick. it was absolutely perfect, if you were to ask him. he could help his mom as libraries went the way of the dodo, he could potentially start a family (they were considering adoptive), he had a job he loved!!

but... then there’s that whole problem of the reunion… and, while he’s been doing well in taunwick, what in spite of the reminders of chastity… this could be yikes central for his marriage!! which is why it’s gonna be submitted to the main in .5 seconds!! 

and that’s what you missed on glee!

TL;DR:

hopeless romantic who will never admit that he unironically likes all forms of cats.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

** (open to any gender unless otherwise specified)

his wife (f): WILL BE BEING SENT INTO THE MAIN.

people he tried to love: as was previously mentioned, when he entered undergrad, he desperately tried to find people he could love just as much as he figured he’d loved chastity. only real requirement would be that they would’ve both gone to the local university at the same time!!

opposites attract: he’s meek, easy to unnerve… give me this. give me 13 going on 30’s main friendship.

neighbor: pretty self-explanatory!! they live in the suburbs next door to he and his wife… both of whom are disgustingly domestic!! 

couple friends: pls this idea just makes me laugh. we love the failed version of this connection where… it’s their last resort… they’re desperate… everyone else is trying to induct them into having a foursome… they just want a wholesome friendship… this is the closest they’re getting!!

students: let’s hear it for all the younger characters out there!!

more to come!!

FURTHER:

for a bit of a better idea:

pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/idkimnewwastaken/lionel-not-richie/

playlist (the final song is a lil treat): https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7vYatuuQmEWxcKvs2CBjCa?si=_XQCKYGsRz2jujfMT7V1BQ

musing tag: https://optimiist.tumblr.com/tagged/lionel-%7C-musings.

mini stats (to be later extended): optimiist.tumblr.com/ls (the font is strangely huge rn but… don’t feel like fixing it at this moment in time :\ )

[bellismaperry]

Idiot { Loki Fanfiction }

This my first Fanfic that I post here on tumblr. I literally just wrote this so theres a lot of grammer mistakes. I’ll promise I’ll get better haha. Hope you like it. It has a main Character but if you want like y/n you can do it. its how ever you want to read it! as long the message of the story is there I don’t care!. Please if you do like tell me to continue!! cause I will. I don’t know when I’ll post because I work and study. but I promise I will post. If want to be tagged pls dm. and will be tagged until its closed!. Hope you guys like this story I have had this idea for so long! hope you really like it like it like I do and lets see what the future holds! I present to you Idiot ( ps the cover is on its way ;) )

Warnings: None

Tara Jones

Loki Odinson

——————————————————————-🦋

Everybody was wearing black attire, with sad expressions. Losing a member of a team is one the hardest things ever. Its like losing a family member. After pushing away Tony’s reacter in the lake, I sat at the wooden porch with my legs in the lake.

God I am such an idiot . How could be so dumb?. I look around the people around me. There were new faces along with old ones. Tony had a lot of people who cared for him.

Strange looks at me looking around and walks over where I am sitting. “ I know its a funural and being happy is not an option, but why in particular you look like you killed some one”

I look up to him and shake my head. “ I messed up Stephen, big time and now its ony hitting me” I say as I move my feet around the water.

he takes a breath “ we all do that all the time Tara”

I shake my head and take my feet off the water and put them on the wooden porch. “ no but i seriously messed up. Theres a solution but it only make it hundred times more worst then it already is. And the worst part is I’m completely alone with it and just still a kid”

Strange Lowers down to my level as tears starts to fall off my face. “ You’re not alone, you have me and the rest of all the people here”

I wipe my tears with the sleeve of my shirt. and look down at my hands. “ Nobody can help because,

I’m pregnant with Loki’s baby” ..

Chapter one

My mother used to tell me that everything was for a reason and that god has set up for me for a good reason in my life. But what my mother didn’t tell me was that getting knocked up by a god at the age of 23 was the plan that a “god” had for me.

This was a whole new game for me and whats left of the avengers team but for overall for me mostly. Since I’m the one pushing the damn thing out of me in 9 months or so.

When I told Stephen that I was pregnant with Loki’s baby hell broke loose. Well let me rephrase that.

Fury wanted me to be locked up because I was connected with a war criminal. Carol wanted to blast me off for being so stupid. Bruce was scratching his head like fifty times at once because how in the hell I was going to give birth to a semi-god. Thor was the only one happy because he had at least some family left couldn’t wait to be a uncle and wanted me to give birth in New Asgard but soon that idea went away when he left with the guardians. And well lastly Stephen was in a screaming match with me for over an hour of how stupid moron idiotic person I am , of letting myself getting pregnant of a super galactic international war criminal. And honestly I couldn’t agree more with everything that happened.

It is stupid of me getting prego of a criminal, and even more when he’s like dead dead and probs never coming back. But at the same time who could blame? I was horny he was too, we both good looking people, we took the chance and honestly to what ever god I don’t regret what happened in that ship, one of the best nights of my life...

Sakarian Refugees Ship..

“Did that just-“ I get cut of by loki

“ Happen?, yes” he says as he sits up the against the bed head board.

I look up at him and smile. “ This was the most Idiot thing I ever done ” I say as I take a breath.

“really?” he asks as he pushes his hair away from his face.

I nod “ yea, but I don’t regret one bit of it” I say with a small smile.

Loki smiles at me and leans down to my face “ good because I don’t either” he leans closer and gives me a kiss. But is soon comes to an end as Thor voice enters the room.

“Loki! We need help theres a ship coming towards us and its not stopping after numerous calls of peace!”

Loki pulls away and takes a deep breath “ well I guess that the end of that” I grab one side of of his face and pass my fingers over his smooth skin. “ don’t worry theres going to be more” I say as I lean over to him for another kiss but I am stopped as the ship moves unexpectedly as like something shooting us.

I look at Loki worried and gives me the same look. “we need to get dressed now!” he says and I nod with him and as we both get off the bed and start getting dressed as fast we could...

Present

Now I’m sitting in a cold white bed in the ginecoligist office waiting to get my first ultra sound done. My case was the worlds most confusing ones. My baby was turn into dust inside of me after the bleep happend or so like Bruce likes to say, you had a dust baby for five years and when the snap was reversed your baby re appeared again. Every doctor in the country wanted to be my doctor and do it for free which man is every pregnant woman dream!. One of this things are so expensive its more expensive then a damn house.

But thanks to Pepper Recommendation I am here with her ginecologist who helped her tru her pregnancy. Which means i’m in very good hands.

“ok, i’m sorry for the wait Ms?” The Doctor aks as she sits in the chair and puts gloves on.

“Jones , Tara Jones” I say as I lift my shirt up and lean down in the bed.

“Ok Tara, My name Is Leslie Williams were going just going to check how the little baby is doing and let you on the basic stuff ok?” she says as she takes container with something jelly inside of it.

I smile and nod.

“ok perfect ,Lets see whats happening inside. I’m going to put this jelly in your stomach its going to feel cold but it will go in a few minutes” she says as she opens up the tube and pours our the cold jelly in my stomach. and starst moving the device around my stomach.

“ Is the Father coming later or”

I Swallow a bit and bite my lip “ no its just me”

“ Oh well, you’re going to be a great mother alone or not don’t let those bad anxieties take over ok. Everything is going to be ok. And in your particular case were going to do everything we can to make this process as painless and smooth as we can”. she says with a warm smile.

i give her a toothless smile. Cmo’n! I am giving birth to a semi-god. I can hear my screaming already. I had a dust baby. A DUST BABY that has to have complications somehow. I am human after all. and to make it all worst the one person who could tell me how this could go was strangled to death so thats great and awsome to start with.

“I mean its not going to be smooth it all. I am giving birth to a god. I am a simple human, the only special thing about me is my magic and this baby. Who’s Father is never going to be with me because a big purple alien with a purple ballsack of a face thought it was a good idea to get rid half of the population and stangle him to death until his eyes was crying blood and then go live in a farm like some red neck in tennessee. No its not going to be fine or smooth or happy or wonderful. So don’t be say things that won’t ever happen please.

The Doctor stares at me in shock. and proceeds to look for the baby. “ i’m sorry to hear that Ms Jones I had no idea.” she says as she keeps looking at the screen.

I take a deep breath pass my hands all over my face “ its ok, I’m used to it by now”

She nods. and when I was about to tell her that I was sorry of how I reacted she stared pointing to the screen and say “ there, theres it is. You’re baby. “

I look closer to the screen and see a tiny circle. A tiny innocent circle that was growing inisde of me. it looked like the size of a 5 peas together.

“you’re Four weeks in the pregnancy, the exams all look great, nothing looks like is altered by the bleep. It looks like you just got pregnant four weeks ago not five years ago. Which its is a medical miracle discovery. “ she says taking off her gloves.

I nod at her while still looking at the screen, I lean over and pass my fingers thru the screen. Thats my baby there. My circle god dust baby.

the Doctor looks at me and crosses her arms against her chest. “ do you want a picture of the ultra sound?”

I nod not looking way from the monitor “ yea”

the Doctor smiles and leaves the room.

I still stare at the monitor. Thats my and Loki’s baby. Who knew that a one-night stand with a god would have lead to this. It was stupid of me not using protection but what did i know? for all I thought humans couldn’t get pregnant by gods.

But I do know that is this is going to be a very bumpy ride... With my dust baby.

🦋—————————————————-

Thank you for reading the first chapter of Idiot hope you guys liked it!! remember to leave a comment, like and reblog pls! also if want to be tagged for the next chapter dm! bye love you guys! 🦋🦋

[covenden7]

30 Day Song Challenge(In Isolation)

So, during lockdown I have seen a number of people posting on Instagram their 30 day song challenge. What a great idea, I adore music and it is a huge part of my life. As I wanted to get involved without the commitment of posting daily, whilst working from home, I have decided to post my 30 days in one go, as a blog. This give me the chance to talk about my reasons behind why these songs are personal to me and what memories come flooding back, be it, good or bad. I am not even sure if I will share this so if I have, I hope you enjoy it, would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on either a song choice or this as a whole.

Day 1: A song you with a colour in the title. - This is an easy one for me, the first song choice is Prince - Purple Rain. Prince was the first artist I fell in love with once i’d seen him live. I was privileged enough to see Prince back in 2007, as a long blonde haired, skinny 19 year old. I had been to gigs or concerts before but only to go out with friends really. Before going I wouldn’t say I was a huge fan of Prince, or music in general really. This gig changed everything, I was blown away by this 5″5 purple God performing on stage. His version on Purple Rain that day will stay with me forever. Breathtaking.

Day 2: A song you like with a number in the title. - One of my favourite songs, by another of my favourite artists. Arctic Monkeys - 505. There is a few different layers to this song, which I really like, the slow build up, telling of a love story. Leading into the rockier 2nd half of the song. Terrifically written, never a song that gets skipped when it pops up on shuffle. Excellent to hear live too.

Day 3: A song that reminds you of summertime. - Little bit of an obvious summer choice, this one but it’s Cliff Richard - Summer Holiday. One of many fond memories I have of my childhood, is whenever we would go on a family holiday, usually to a Haven park, or similar. As we got nearer to the destination my Dad would put this song on for our yearly family holiday sing-a-long.

Day 4: A song that reminds you of someone you’d rather forget. - I could have used this for a song that makes me sad but I’ve got something else in mind for that. My choice for this song is Akon - Lonely. My mum and dad separated in 2005, hardest time on my life. This is the song I was listening to when I found out. This song is not about wanting to forget either of my parents, I love them both dearly. The person that was the reason behind their separation, that is the only person I’d ever want to forget.

Day 5: A song that needs to be played loud. - Guns n’ Roses - Sweet Child O’ Mine. This song used to be a bit of a party song for me, all too often the air guitar would come out and I would be rocking away on the sofa at my Dad’s sometimes with Verity drumming in the background using a knife and fork. This song has to be played loud. It’s a little out dated and in a way, a bit cheesy but I’m sure when Axl Rose was writing this the intention was for it to be played loud. Always.

Day 6: A song that makes you want to dance. - Easy one this one, and will not come as a surprise to many. Taylor Swift - Shake It Off I have spent many-a-night, slightly intoxicated in the wonderful Boomers in Hamble, dancing in my very camp style, to this song. Everyone has a guilty pleasure and Tay Tay is mine. I love her music, genuinely.

Day 7: A song to drive to. - This is probably the most random one on the list. Del Amitri - Roll To Me, Always reminds me of my best mate, Dan Champion, when we first moved into Hamble, we would play this cheesy nonsense record a lot, typically in the car, very loud, driving to get things for the flat. First time I moved out, reminds me of being in the car to kit out my first ever flat. Very happy times, even if the song is pretty crap.

Day 8: A song about drugs or alcohol. - As you may have noticed I do have a varied music taste, one genre I do love is Country. My choice for this day is Chris Stapleton - Tennessee Whisky. In my opinion, this guy just about has the best voice in the world at the moment. There is a country core to his music but the guitar work and his voice, go across genres. I don’t have anything overly personal that I have to say about this song, it was the first one oh his i heard and think he’s fantastic.

Day 9: A song that makes you happy. - In a word “lots” lots of songs make me happy. This one I’ll dedicate to my old man. Dean Martin - Little ‘Old Wine Drinker Me. I have lost count how many times we have been told off by Barb or Verity because after one or two too many beers we decide that we are The Rat Pack and pop on the Dean Martin CD. Usually a sign of a good night in our house if there is a big pile of CD’s left on the side, well before streaming. This song will always make me smile and immediately make me think of my Dad. My hero.

Day 10: A song that makes you sad. - I am quite lucky in a way that in my life I have not lost that many loved ones, I lost my Grandad when I was four so unfortunately have very few memories of him. The next person that I lost was my Nana in 2012, the final song at her funeral was Nat King Cole - Smile. A beautiful song, that will always make me well up. My Nana was incredible for my Sister and I growing up, always showing us love, affection and often giving us a lot of food our Mum wouldn’t have approved of. This one is for her.

Day 11: A song that you never get tired of. - There’s a number of songs that can fit into a number of categories. This being one of them. When I started creating this list there were some artists that I knew had to be on here, I am therefore picking, David Bowie - Rock and Roll Suicide. David Bowie is one of my favourites, the man is an absolute genius. The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust is one of the best albums of all time, and its closing track Rock and Roll Suicide is, in my opinion, the best song on the album, maybe Bowie’s best. I could listen to it over and over, the album and the song.

Day 12: A song from your pre-teen years. - I guess in terms of pre-teen, you’re talking 10-12. I’ve gone for a early teenage, pre-adult years song. Usher - Yeah. In my latter years at school, when I first started partying and drinking, this song was the theme tune. Any house party we would go to as 15/16 year olds. This song would be on, all night, on repeat. Definitely mine, and a lot of my friends at the time, first song we had to get drunk to.

Day 13:A song you like from the 70s. - Slightly random one here, I am going for Neil Young - Old Man. I would say I’ve only really listened to Neil Young in the last few years, Barb, unsurprisingly got me into him - more of that to come. I love Harvest, terrific album. This is a great song, but I the thing i love most is the story that accompanies this song. Young famously tells a story about buying a ranch and the condition was that the old farm hand will remain on the property and take care of maintenance. Neil Young and the old man grew to become great friends, up until his passing. They learnt they have very different backgrounds and experiences but ultimately connect very well. In a way, I wish more often people would go back to connecting rather than sitting on phones or social media. I realise the irony that I am in fact posting this from a social media platform whilst using a laptop and ignoring my flatmate!

Day 14: A song you want to be played at your wedding. - I have tried to avoid repeating artists during this, but this could be the only artist that appear twice. When I do get married the song that I share with my future wife will be one that is special to us. This song I have picked is more because of the opening lyrics and love for the band. Courteeners - Take Over The World. “I looked into her eyes and I swore, I’ve never written a cliche before, and I’ll probably never do so, she was beautiful, though. I think it’s time for you and me to take over the world”. That pretty much explains itself there.

Day 15: A song you like that is a cover by another artist. - I have gone for Johnny Cash - Hurt. Originally recorded by Nine Inch Nails in 1995, this is the final song Johnny Cash released before his death. A beautiful song, and Cash’s raspy voice makes it feel even more emotional. Another one that sits in the country category. I have always been fond of Johnny Cash but when one of my favourite actors, Joaquin Phoenix played him in Walk the Line, my love for both went through the roof. There was always going to be a bit of Cash on this list.

Day 16: A song that is a classic favourite. - Similar to David Bowie, I couldn’t do this list without The Beatles, I always say, if someone doesn’t like, or at least appreciate The Beatles, you can’t trust them. My choice is The Beatles - In My Life. My favourite Beatles song, the lyrics are superb, unsurprisingly and it takes you on a lovely little journey.

Day 17: A song that you would duet with someone else. - I do have a Karaoke duet song that I often sing with one of my oldest friends, Matt O’Dwyer, so this is an easy one for me Robbie Williams and Jonathan Wilkes - Me and My Shadow. He’s Jonny, I’m Robbie, we sing this song, often. We will continue singing it until the day we die. Missing every single note, without fail, yet still making our audience laugh. Pretty much sums us up as people too. Silly song, silly people. Can not wait to be stood next to Matt in Three Lions Bar, Magaluf belting this one out in the hopefully, not too distant future.

Day 18: A song from the year you were born. - For a number of years I was under the impression that the number 1 song when I was born was Fairground Attraction - Perfect. As you can now look at the internet for what was the song was number 1 when you were born. Mine was actually, Bros - I owe you nothing. Perfect is a much better song, that why this is my choice.

Day 19: A song that makes you think about life. - Luke Bryan - Drink A Beer. Another country entry here on the list. Whilst a lot of songs are about heart break or getting drunk. This one is about both, in a very different way. Luke Bryan lost both his brother and sister in their early 20s or late teens. This song tells the story of how he found out. The chorus goes “I’m gonna sit right here, on the edge of this pier, and drink a beer” I imagine if, god forbid, any tragedy happens in my life, I’d do something similar. Find a quiet place to myself, and drink a beer to any memories or thoughts I have on what has happened. I also makes you realise that life is short and precious, a cliche I know but it’s true, now more than ever. Tell people you love them. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Day 20: A song that has many meanings to you. - This song was always going to be in this list. Gerry and The Pacemakers - You’ll Never Walk Alone. I love football, this song will always remind me of my club, Liverpool, for obvious reasons. Whether that is when we’re 3-0 in a Champions League final and need a little extra boost from the fans. Or if we are 4-0 up at home to Bournemouth singing this song for the last few minutes. I can listen to this song in any emotion and it fits, happy, sad, angry etc. This song fits. It’s perfect, it’s beautiful, you’re genuinely never alone, in life, I mean, the real thing, life. You’ve got support, you’ve got love, you’ve got everything you need. It is my club’s anthem and I am very proud of that and my club.

Day 21: A song you like with a person’s name in the title. - The song I’ve gone for is a very famous one with a name in the title, Derek & The Dominoes - Layla The main reason I have picked this song is because of that opening guitar riff from Eric Clapton, possibly the best guitarist of all time. I’ve always been a fan of a strong guitar riff and there are very few stronger than this absolute banger from Slow Hands.

Day 22: A song that gets you moving forward. - I have never been one to work out or exercise too often, throughout my life, football has been the one thing that has acted as the exercise for me. For a period of time when I used my Dad’s cross trainer, the one song that would move me forward and give me a boost was Prodigy - Voodoo People(Pendulum remix) The Prodigy are a very different band but very popular amongst so many. This song, gets the adrenaline going for me, the Pendulum remix side kicks in and did help mid-workout for me.

Day 23: A song that you think everyone should listen to. - Elvis Presley - If I Can Dream(Philharmonic Orchestra Version). No reasons. Just listen and enjoy.

Day 24: A song by a band that you wish were still together. - Oh, I wonder what band I will pick for this one? Oasis - Rock and Roll Star. One of my favourite bands, as they are for many people around my age. I believe their best album is Definitely Maybe, it starts with the aggressive, in your face, flat out brilliant, Rock and Roll Star. Oasis are listened to in my flat, certainly weekly, possibly daily. I have been fortunate enough to see both Noel and Liam live in their careers since Oasis but what I would do to see Oasis live, even once.

Day 25: A song you like by an artist no longer living. - I am going for someone who was the first album I ever remember asking my Dad to buy. Michael Jackson - Earth Song. Yes Dad, this means Michael Jackson has died. This might have been one of the first songs I really liked, I certainly remember it being stuck in my head as a child. I could have chosen this for a song that reminds you of your childhood, but I am opting to dedicate that one to someone else. I have always enjoyed the music of Michael Jackson, every talented. There’s a reason he is called the king of pop, and rightly so.

Day 26: A song that makes you want to fall in love. - I am not picking a romantic song here, having never really been in love it would probably be difficult for me to do so. Instead I am opting for a song with a title that would fit this category. The Stone Roses - I Wanna Be Adored. The Stone Roses are my favourite band(thanks to a little help from my step mum). Who doesn’t want someone that adores them? This is the greatest opening to any gig I have ever been to. June 2017, Etihad Stadium, Manchester. Mani’s bass starts, the crowd erupts. I am about to see my favourite band for the first time in my life. They lived up to any expectations I had. I will stand by my thoughts of that day, John Squire is the best guitarist I have ever seen live. Sensational.

Day 27: A song that breaks your heart. - I am even struggling typing this one. I am picking Zac Brown Band - My Old Man. This song is about a young boy’s love of his father, how his father is his hero, a giant, a superhero. Hoping he can grow up to be just like him. He then has a son and is hoping he is the same figure to his son as his father has been to him. In the final verse you learn that Zac Brown’s father has passed away. Always brings a little tear to my eye, I’m not ashamed to say I am a cryer, at times. I have the same feeling towards my Dad, my hero, my giant, my superhero. This song makes me cherish every moment I have with him and every other loved one I have within my family.

Day 28: A song by an artist who’s voice you love. - I could have picked Chris Stapleton here but instead I wanted to get this band in and it just so happened that lead singer Caleb Followill has a ridiculous voice. Kings of Leon - Milk. A slow opening to this song gives Caleb the opportunity to showcase his voice. Having seen them live his voice is even better to hear in person. Slightly country, slightly rocky, very me. This is my favourite KOL song, because of the slow opening with the vocals being key, following onto the rockier middle then a vocal ending.

Day 29: A song you remember from your childhood. - I am doing this one for my Grandad, sadly we lost him 18 months ago so I wanted to dedicate this one to him. Max Bygraves - Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen by the Sea. Yes I had to google the spelling. No I don’t have a clue what it means or even what the song is about. I do know that this song was played a lot at my Nana and Grandad’s house when I was little, they had a vinyl record player in the corner of their living room in Basingstoke. I remember my Grandad crawling round with my on his back, or playing rough and tumbles around the lounge, this song being the theme tune to many hours of horse play between the two of us. I was privileged enough to speak at his funeral. I talked about my Grandad’s love of football, the only person who loved it more that I do, I said. I remember the first ever game he gave me to watch on video, well, there was 2 games. The first one was Portsmouth Liverpool at Highbury as my Grandad had gone to it and you can see him on the footage. The second he used to say to me was the best game he’d ever seen. Italy vs Brazil 1982, Paolo Rossi and all that. I have watched that game back recently, and whilst it’s a lot slower to the current game. He wasn’t wrong with the quality on show, Zico, Socrates, Falcao and the star of the show a hat-trick from the Italian centre forward Paolo Rossi. Maybe my Grandad showing me that game at an early age is where it all began. If so, that’s just one of a number of things I am thankful to my Grandad for.

Day 30: A song that reminds you of yourself. - Easiest of the f**king lot. Courteeners - Not Nineteen Forever. No other song could sum me up better. This talks of partying too hard, being a fool, enjoying yourself a little too much. Ultimately saying “I know it seems strange, but things they change.” Yes they do, and I am pleased to say I have grown up a lot in the last few years, even if there is still the odd foolish decision. This song is everything I am, loud, enjoyable and an indie banger. Often makes me think of being in my favourite place, the middle of a field or arena, stood next to my sister, singing this at the top of our lungs. Well, not just us singing it like that but “Every single one of yas”