#i saw an honestly not very good production of this last night

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

Do you remember what I said to you? I said, What on earth can you do on this earth but catch at whatever comes near you, with both your hands, until your fingers are broken? I'd never said that before, or even consciously thought it, but afterwards it seemed like the truest thing that my lips had ever spoken, what on earth can you do but catch at whatever comes near you and hold onto it until your fingers are broken . . .

tennessee williams, orpheus descending

[copperbadge]

So the ADHD Handbook post struck a chord with a lot of people...

I don't think I have it in me to write the book I suggested, mainly because most of what I want to write about is variable by situation. I can't actually offer a magic formula for getting a good assessment, all I would be able to do is say "Here are the warning signs, here's my personal story, shit's just rough". Which I could do but it'd be basically an entire book of "shrug emoji". The best possible way would probably be to offer it as a workbook, like "Here is a page for you to record every communication with the clinic doing your testing. Here is a page for you to write down possible other approaches to getting your medication if the pharmacy is out." etc.

I do think I might write it as a novel of some kind. Possibly even a novel about someone writing a handbook, I haven't decided. I had a dream last night about the book, in which I saw a woman watching a revolution taking place in the distance, thinking, "This is not what I intended when I set out to write a self-help book." Baller way to start a novel, honestly.

Anyway there were several suggestions for books in the notes, so I thought I'd compile those here. I have read none of these, so I can't vouch for their contents, but I'm including what my readers said about them.

@blogquantumreality linked to How To ADHD by Jessica McCabe, who is a well-known ADHD youtuber (I haven't found her videos super helpful but they're also not aimed at me). @knitsinweirdplaces added "The last section of the How to ADHD book is literally called 'how to change the world' and exactly points out we can advocate for a more disability friendly world that traumatizes ADHDer less in the first place. It's the only book I've read that hits the balance of 'your brain has immutable challenges' and 'these strats may help' right. Bonus, it is inclusive of people who use adhd meds and those who don't/can't."

@theindefinitearticle mentioned "I read how to keep house while drowning recently and it's been much more practical for me in terms of actual usable advice." This book has also come up numerous times during National Clean Your Home Month as a helpful guide to cleaning.

@buginateacup said "The year I met my brain is the only one I've read that actually felt like it was making useful suggestions for living with ADHD."

@cabloom said "iampayingattention on Instagram wrote How Not To Fit In."

@grison-in-space said "Do you have any idea how over the top excited I was when I found I Overcame My Autism and All I Got Was This Lousy Anxiety Disorder?"

@doubleminorforroughing wrote "Please read Devon Price. He wants to tear it all down and I love it." I will add that I don't think I've read Laziness Does Not Exist but I have read Price's shortform work extensively and I think he's been very influential in rethinking how we frame laziness and productivity in relation to both work and neurodivergence, so I can second the recommendation.

[thelordfool]

HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!

Long story short: I'm unemployed and will not, unlike what I originally thought, qualify for unemployment benefits.

Please read the readmore for additional context on why I'm unemployed. This post is basically a continuation/update/redo of this post. I'm suffering a sickness with no medicine the past week, applied for almost 100 jobs the last two weeks, am disabled/queer/nonbinary/tired of ebegging. I'm also in the negatives in my bank account because my car payment came out, so I need to get that covered.

pp/vm/ca

$250/$1151.51

i need at least $511.51 of this by the first. please spread if you're financially unable to help, every person this reaches helps! here's the breakdown of the costs: $640 - car payment + late fees $380 - rent $131.51 - negative amount in bank currently

Oh hey thanks for stopping by to read this annoying tale of woe and being angry at capitalism. Prepare for wall of text.

I once had two jobs. The first job, at a chain restaurant, was a bit of a clique-y experience where I was working my damndest to be the best bartender they ever had. I still have all the cocktails memorized. However, I continually faced discrimination in the form of severe misgendering, no matter how often I corrected them. I was also set up for failure. Usually, when someone gets hired for a position, there's some amount of training to be done, no matter how experienced they are, right? I was going in nearly entirely inexperienced into the role. I knew how to make cocktails, sure, and was and still am very good with people and selling. But I was trained for two days. Two. Then, on my first night alone (a Friday), I was watched by one of the bigwigs at corporate who saw every little flub and failure. This caused a demotion-ish. I was demoted to barback but was allowed the same privileges. Until their next visit. That upset the hell out of me - I was well trained by that point and could do it all, with one hand tied behind my back. I digress. It was about 2 months following my demotion when i finally walked out. A new bartender had been hired and she thought I was being a total creep by looking at a ticket that had just come in. She stormed off to report me to the manager who, even after hearing my side where I had asked her if there was anything on the ticket that I could grab, said that I "needed to communicate better," and "you should be learning from her," and "you're a grown man, you should know better." I don't think I need to explain why that was so upsetting.

But I didn't report them, because I just wanted to be done with it. I was also working another bartending job, and everythign was literally perfect other than the hours, honestly. I loved the product the distillery made, I loved the people I worked with, and most of all: I had my own regulars. Last month, they hired a new hospitality director, who announced there would be some restructuring, including getting rid of servers while also making a full dinner menu to serve alongside drinks. I said nothing of it, despite my disagreements, and she assured us all that no one would lose their jobs, but just moved into different roles. We all kinda grumbled about it, and I told her that under no circumstances would I work back of house. Easy peasy. Till it wasn't, and I came home to a voicemail while on break with my partner that I'd been let go due to the restructuring. So much for no one losing their jobs, right? I hadn't been the only victim of this. I have my suspicions as to why the new hospitality director did these things, but I've no energy to throw around conspiracies. All I know is that I was shafted by both of these places and I'm tired of being broke. I'm applying, still going to fight, and... sigh.

tl;dr (why did you click the readmore?): i left a job due to discrimination and lost another due to company restructuring and i'm tired and sad and aaaaa.

[emeraldelysian]

Poly!SanSang ✧ As Your Boyfriends

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Pairing: Choi San x Reader x Kang Yeosang

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Synopsis: Poly boyfriend headcanons between San, Yeosang and their S/O

Wordcount: 1.1K+

Warnings: The section below the MDNI warning is all smut but besides that, it's fluffy! Let me know if I should add anything though!

Note: This is a product of Sansang simply existing

♡︎ follow, provide feedback, or reblog if you enjoyed but please don't repost or translate!♡︎

■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

Songs That Represent Your Relationship (Spotify Links)

summertime in paris - jaden, WILLOW

double take - dhruv

strawberry chainsaw - jawny

Choi San - The Sun

San is very much the sun of the relationship, bright and smiley

You and Yeosang still have yet to explain where the mysterious energy comes from, but you are grateful for it

Will show his love through physical touch and words of affirmation guaranteed

Very obvious forms of affection because he won't be able to contain how much he loves you two

Does not mind PDA at all, honestly loves to tease y'all with surprise kisses and hugs

Will look at you like you're made from all the stars in the universe

Won't miss a single day sending a good morning or good night message in the group chat but he will pout if you don't respond within the hour though

Is the best communicator honestly

He will tell you his feelings very openly and rambles about his day

But he will also give you 100% of his attention when you talk about your day

A small thing that really hits his heart is when you trust him with things, he will protect your words with his life

There's a possibility that he will also be brought to tears seeing either of his partner's cry

Like one time he had an argument with you two- mostly caused by stress and him being on edge- and seeing you both look nervous and teary eyed made him vow to never get angry like that again

He will do everything in his power to make you feel better

If either you or Yeosang can't sleep, he will blast your favorite songs and dance with you

Doesn't matter if it's 3pm or 3am, you will all be twirling in the living room

He has the cutest pet names for both of you

My love, my baby, my rose, my angel, basically any cute name but will always have the word "my" before it

He may be an introvert, but will be super extroverted with you two

Like he's not embarassed at all to do anything for you guys

If you are anxious to ask for something, he will ask for you and doesn't mind

In summary, when he falls in love, he falls hard and he will make sure that you two know it.

Kang Yeosang - The Moon

If San's the sun, Yeosang is definitely the moon, a hidden beauty that shines even in your darkest times

Very soft but will not admit it directly

Not that he doesn't want you two to know he loves you, but it's difficult for him sometimes

So he opts for subtle forms of affection

Very much a quality time and acts of service kind of lover

Would love to spend time with you and San, whether that be going out to an amusement park or staying at home and cuddling

He was the last to say "I love you" and it was so quiet

When he didn't hear a response, he was worried but he then he looked up at you two and saw the emotional wrecks y'all were becoming

Everytime he says I love you after that is still quiet and small and entangled in small kisses or whispers but those moments are so special

He makes sure that you've eaten but with aggression

"If you don't eat soon, I'm leaving practice and throwing snacks at your window"

He may not hug you in public, but you're linking pinkies for sure

In private though, very much will bury his head into your shoulder when he gives you a hug

Won't admit it but he does love the affection San gives

It takes everything in him not to turn around and kiss San whenever his arms wrap around him

Is so shy when you both give him compliments on his performances

But you and San are his biggest cheerleaders and will be the loudest fans whenever he does anything ever

Gets so embarassed when he hears your loud "That's my baby! Look at him go! Y'all could NEVER!" but also lowkey loves it

Feels so happy hearing both of you laugh at his jokes, your laughs are his favorite song and he wouldn't mind hearing it on repeat 24/7

Having Wooyoung as his friend certainly has made him more open to affection but he has never known a love quite like being with you and San

Not the confrontational type but he will give the biggest death glare to anyone that says anything negative about you or San

Is protective and refuses to let anyone hurt either of you if he can help it

In summary, he's very much the type to seem annoyed by your affection but secretely adores all of it and is so thankful for your persistence in showing him he matters.

MDNI, 18+ CONTENT

Switches to their core

Usually, San is the brattiest sub and the softest dom

In either position, his goal is to make you both cum as many times as possible

Will give you oral for hours and not tire from it

Yeosang, on the other hand, is usually the most obedient sub and a hard dom most of the time (not always though)

His goal is to make both of you scream his name, and he wants everyone to hear it

Honestly, if they're both domming you, either one could be hard or soft with you but never both hard doms at the same time

They always want to make sure at least one of them is giving you praise at all times

Both of them have a marking kink

If San's leaving hickeys on your thigh, Yeosang's leaving them on your collarbone

And they certainly wouldn't mind you marking them

In fact, San will proudly wear your hickeys the next day

Edging San when he's subby is just as good as overstimulating Yeosang, and they both look the prettiest when they have tears in their eyes

Praise Yeosang when he's subby, will not accept degradation

However, San could be called anything degrading and he'd still be whining

Both of them have an exhibition kink and love the idea of almost getting caught

Yeosang very much likes manhandling and will show his strength to you and San

San would love to either be tied up or tie you up, like you better believe handcuffs/ribbons, blindfolds and shibari are on the table with this man

Aftercare is composed of clingy cuddles and kisses

Cleaning up is not at the forefront of their mind until after they wake up but there will be a lot of brushing through eachother's hair and soft cuddling and massaging any sore parts if they were particularly rough

[for-a-longlongtime]

Wow. Y'all. I truly never expected so many awesome responses on the post I wrote last night about Dieter, Goya and Pedro on Talk Art. It is the first 'fun' thing I've written in so many years - after having felt blocked/paralyzed re: creative pursuits since 2020 (shit happened) -, without stressing about how I wrote it, and it means the world to me that so many people liked it and shared it.

I don't want to clutter up all the feeds by individually sharing and responding to the reblogs etc, so I'm throwing it together in one post here - because I want y'all to know I appreciate it so much. And it honestly made me even more excited that some of my favorite PP fic authors did so, because I've been enjoying YOUR work so much!

@chaoticgeminate Sending those hugs right back, and your fic was absolutely not a silly little piece! I truly love(d) it, and I'm glad it sent me down this little rabbithole. And yes, while writing that piece I also became more convinced that Pedro himself was a really big part in shaping Dieter and his background story. It's so damn intelligent and very much his style.

One thing I didn't mention yesterday (and I'm sure this is something a lot of people already spotted since the first day that the movie was online) is that I also came to realize how much Pedro has based Dieter's outfits and some mannerisms on Jeff Bridges' character The Dude from 'The Big Lebowski'. Never really saw that movie but I put it on today for a bit, and it was striking -- I'd even dare to say that the "'Bola, hold my hair!" moment on the toilet is a nod to how The Dude (who has longer hair) gets his face shoved into a toilet. Also, at one point when Bridges' character is addressed with "Mr Lebowski", he dismisses that and tells the guy to call him Dude, or even 'Duder' which, yeah, that's just a small step from 'Dieter Bravo'.

amycben on Reddit said the same thing about Bridges, and shared these Dieter pics, which definitely made it clear how our Feral Raccoon Boy's style is inspired by 'The Dude' <3 I don't care much for the Lebowski movie, but I love a good reference, especially since it's a Coen brothers movie - and we all know that Pedro now has a small role in Ethan Coen's upcoming movie 'Driveaway Dolls'. Anyway, I honestly hope that at some point Pedro will be asked about the work he did in shaping Dieter, because I'd love to hear more about this. There's no chance in hell that'll happen, because which journalist would ask him this? But I'm cool though if the universe wants to manifest one of us getting to interview him some time in the future, haha.

Anyway, again @chaoticgeminate - thank YOU really. I needed that deep dive more than I knew thanks to your writing!

@nicolethered thank you too for being responsible for my deep dive, haha, it were your screenshots that made me recognize the other Goya paintings! <3 (and I love your gifs btw!

@mysterious-moonstruck-musings well hearing from you that you loved MY writing is just such a super awesome thing after how much I've been enjoying your Dieter story! <3 <3

@julesonrecord I'M TOTALLY IN hahaha, I saw your comment right before I went to bed last night and it made me smile so much!

@imaswellkid I'm def not an Apatow person either, and I'll be honest - the first time I watched the Bubble I couldn't get past the first half, haha. But I later began to realize that you should indeed watch it through a critical lens and as a reflection about the craziness that was going on, rather than 'oh this is a movie about the pandemic'. The Mando bud is great btw! But even better is the Baby Yoda bud - I have no clue how growers/dispenseries (I'm in the midwest) get away with naming their product after Disney stuff, but I'm sure glad it got me to try that hahaha.

@lunapascal IKR artist Dieter is so damn underrated, and I'm so glad that at least a whole lot of fic authors are giving him more of what he deserves! OK and I totally want to write some too now, hahaha. Especially because there's a lack of Dieter x OMC/m!reader fics, which tbh needs to be fixed.

@survivingandenduring @sp00kymulderr @thesimulationswarm @pedrit0-pascalit0 @gemmahale @sin-djarin @perotovar @ladamedusoif @gracie7209 thank you so much for your kind words, they honestly mean so much to me! @angelofsmalldeathandthecodeine WOW, that Dali piece is fuckin incredible! And @basicoccult woahhh maybe y'all did!? See now I feel like I need to inquire about whether y'all take new initiates! <3

@chronically-ghosted God don't get me started, it's so tempting - next thing you know I'll have suckered myself into writing Dieter fic (while I'm only just getting started now on two other WIPs), haha. But yes I'm so curious about what the unspoken canon is there -- and most probably Pedro is the one with answers to that since it seems so much like he created Dee. I ended up googling some Apatow interviews this morning and saw that he set out to make the Bubble as a sort of Christopher Guest movie (the mockumentary style), and other articles said that there was a lot of improv involved - so obviously Pedro must've contributed a lot. Particularly because I've read at least interviews with four directors (Zeke who did Prospect, Craig Mazin from TLOU, I wanna say Patty Jenkins, and I'm currently blanking on the other name) who spoke about how involved Pedro was, down to specific dialogue and character's motivations etc in shaping the movie (I think Zeke said that Pedro worked with them to tone down Ezra's Shakespearian manner of speech a little, which I can totally see happening since Pedro has done/read so much Shakespeare and it's easy to picture that he wants to fine tune it so it's accessible enough for audiences). Ugh, it's probably gonna take a long while until there'll be any long form interviews with him again, and sadly interviewers are probably not gonna ask about any of this.

Re: painting or acting, yesterday I read @blueeyesatnight 's That's Not Your Name-Dieter fic (LOVED it, can def recommend it!) and one of the coolest things about Dee's character development there is that it indeed delves into 'okay how did he pick acting versus art' and more background story, plus how in the current day events of the story he is even making his own oil paint. That has become my headcanon now <3

@tessa-quayle I'm so glad you liked my post!! I really really wish that Russell and Robert would do another episode with Pedro. I love Russell in particular (sorta followed his work since Being Human was released, which holy crap was already 15 yrs ago?), but the way they attempted to interview Pedro back then was kind of a hot mess - and I say that lovingly hahaha. They were so enthusiastic that they talked over him so/too many times, so I'd love a tad calmer conversation where P has the opportunity to go more indepth.

@tvversionperson IKR there is SO much plot and character development to be explored with Dieter in that movie, which of course it doesn't have room to delve into but shit I wish they would/could. Or at least to just hear Pedro talk about what his thoughts are on it, because you know he most definitely had Dee's entire back story fleshed out in his head when he shot this movie.

Super long post, but again, I just wanted to thank y'all for the love. This is the first time I've done anything writing wise re: the PP cinematic universe, and all your responses have been so heartwarming and really encouraged me to do more stuff in one way or another with the Pedro boys, be it rabbit hole analysis or fic.

[macravishedbymactavish]

This is for the 'send me a character for headcanons of 3 pros and 3 cons of dating them':

This was a very long thought over choice but I picked Merrick because I'm honestly genuinely curious of the pros and cons of dating Mer-Bear.

This one started as a challenge, then somehow came naturally?

| Blog HQ | Ghosts Masterlist | Price's Version | Hesh & Logan's Version |

Pros & Cons of Dating (Thomas A. Merrick Headcanons)

Pros

His memory (especially when it comes to you) is top tier. He has your favourite drink, and take out order memorized so he can surprise you on nights you need a pick me up or you're both too lazy to cook

Sitting on the couch, recovering from what felt like the longest day in existence you heard the front door open and the familiar greeting of your boyfriend as he entered.

A smile tugging at the corner of your lips when you saw your favourite drink in his hand, "a small peace offering" he shrugged 

He cooks as a hobby, and truly enjoys trying and creating new recipes

"The next step is to fold in the cheese" You giggled, watching as he rolled his eyes. Focusing on the task at hand.

"What does that mean? What does fold in the cheese mean?" He played along, smile widening as you laughed harder. Nearly falling off the counter in the process.

The two of you were trying out a new recipe he found online a few nights ago. He was doing the cooking, while you kept him company and read off the instructions.

"Cheese is folded like origami into this, now what?"

His music taste is vast but refined

Whether it's humming along to the radio, or able to tell you what song is playing by the first few notes -- he never fails to shock you with how many bands he listens to.

It's also incredibly sweet when he starts playing new songs when you're around. All on the premise that he heard it and either thought of you, or thinks you'll enjoy it.

Cons

Good luck watching movies with him. Either he stops paying attention halfway through or falls asleep within the first 15 minutes

Arms resting behind his head, he watched as you grabbed the remote and your favourite snack. Clicking play with a smile, you cuddled into his side.

"Don't fall asleep this time" you teased, feeling him chuckle from beside you, promising not to. 

It was about 1/3rd of the way through the movie when you felt him shift his weight a few times. Opting to lean further into the arm of the couch. You paid little mind, as this was a movie you've been waiting to see for months.

It was around the halfway mark, a quieter scene when you glanced over at the man. Seeing him glancing between the TV and his phone. With a soft sigh, you reached forward and paused the movie; knowing all too well what was happening.

"Need a break?"

For a guy with only facial hair, he spends a surprising amount of time and money on it

Knuckles tapping gently against the wood of the door, you softly inquired as to whether or not he was ready to leave for the night.

You'd been ready to go, waiting on the couch for the last 20 minutes. Waiting for him to finish up in the bathroom; where he was finishing a couple last details.

Peeking your head in, you were met by an array of different hair and beard products lining the counter….and your boyfriend still not fully dressed.

Snores like a freight train

Jumping slightly, you blinked the sleep out of your eyes. Looking around the room as you tried to comprehend why you were awake suddenly.

After a few seconds, you closed your eyes again. Willing your heart to calm down as you cuddled into your boyfriends side. Eyes shooting wide open again at the snore that came from his mouth.

No, it can't be.

Glaring up at him, you shook his body. Urging him to wake up and fucking breathe. His hand pressing back against you, sleepily shoving you back as he got more comfortable.

Sighing, you sat up and grabbed your pillow; pressing it gently against his face until you felt him wake up. Pulling the fabric away, you looked down at him and simply whispered:

"An eye for an eye, you bitch"

Taglist: @bloodonmyhands-1221 @bowtruckleninja @v1naco @ai-luni

[white-weasel]

Saw IV and V thoughts after my Saw Saturday movie viewing experience last night:

Really glad we got some new characters introduced into the series. It breathed a lot of life into things I feel like

Finally got to meet Hoffman and Strahm let’s gooooo! I knew that these were popular characters and honestly they did not disappoint

I cannot believe that John Kramer ate a fucking tape before dying. My friend and I were discussing how he did that so cleanly without gagging or choking and our only explanation is that he’s a throat goat

Rigg’s whole trial was rough man, but it was actually very interesting. Basically “You’re obsessed with saving everyone, so the only way you can win this gauntlet (and save your friends) is to let it go.” I think that this series of traps was MUCH more well done than the series of traps Jeff went through in 3 and they also did each feel like they were testing different aspects of the same “sin” so to speak.

Favorite of those trial traps was probably the one with the husband and wife and them being impaled. I thought it was clever in its theme and its conceit. Sometimes I look at some of these saw traps and go “okay so somebody just thought of the most fucked up thing they could for the shock value” but this was not one of those so I enjoyed that

The iceblock trap though? Amazing idea and execution on that shit. Just the concept of a melting block of ice slowly hanging someone while that melted ice water fills a pool that will eventually touch another person, thereby electrocuting them because there’s a current running through the pool? Very very cool. Plus the added mechanism that kills you if someone (Rigg) walks through the door. Very scary but very good

The puppet still makes me laugh. Him just sitting on the chair before (unfortunately) blowing up at Perez got me. My friend is convinced that I need a little Saw puppet for my apartment now, though I think having the actual thing and seeing it irl might freak me out

Not sure I *needed* to learn more about John’s past before his diagnosis and his descent into becoming Jigsaw, but I also didn’t absolutely hate it. I liked getting to see his ex wife at least and get an insight into his interpersonal relationships

I’m 50/50 split if I like John’s first victim being someone who personally wronged him and ruined his life. On the one hand, I think it does great to kinda show his own hypocrisy in all of this. He says it’s not emotional and these traps are meant to save his victims, and he does at least give him a way out, it did not seem like he really wanted to reform him and that’s interesting to me. On the other hand, I don’t think the movie presents this action or putting him in the trap this way so??? Yeah

My new motto for these movies is “If I don’t see you get murked on screen, you’re still alive somewhere.” Because I was *positive* Eric was dead before they revealed him, but, well, he’s certainly dead now I guess lol

The reveal this movie that it was all taking place at the same time as 3 and that Hoffman is Jigsaw’s apprentice was amazing. Absolutely brilliant, no notes at all

I really liked how Saw 4 and 5 basically felt like a TV show in that they were very obviously meant to be viewed together/feel like one continuous story. I’m assuming that production wise the studio knew that they had 4 and 5 guaranteed so they could leave some stuff for the next movie which I appreciated

(I’m assuming they knew they were at least getting a 6 too because we didn’t get any answers for what was in that box Jill got 👀)

Hoffman carrying that little girl out of the warehouse and being like “We were the only survivors :((“ only for Strahm to get wheeled out on the gurney literally seconds afterwards was so funny

Speaking of, I can’t believe Hoffman didn’t take Strahm’s pen from out of his pocket during the water cube trap. He took all his other stuff but it’s weird he overlooked that. Granted, I doubt that he knew that Strahm would perform a tracheotomy on himself but wow

I liked the backstory we got with Hoffman and how he came to know Jigsaw. The idea of a copycat killer designing his own “trap” but it really just being a way to murder someone he wants revenge on was marvelous. Then the whole part with John kidnapping him and teaching him his ways was also cool

(Hoffman tied up with the shotgun nestled right underneath his neck? Unfortunately kinda hot)

The trap gauntlet for the five people was fine. The first trap I was like “oh my god he’s telling you to all work together! Just go get your keys one by one or have someone get their key, unlock, and then get the next person’s after they’re unlocked” at least for that one though I can see why they panicked. The second one they had no excuses lol I literally said out loud “you can definitely fit at least two people in a cubby hole”. That one seemed sooo obvious, too obvious to at least not give it a try. I didn’t totally hate the set up though, just moreso me getting mad at horror movie characters lmao

And I get Hoffstrahm now lmao. Saw IV I was like “? They barely interacted what’s this?” And then we got the whole cat and mouse game in Saw V and went “Oh yup. There it is. Theres the dynamic.” Especially with the whole glass coffin bit at the end

Speaking of the glass coffin I loved that scene. Just the wasy Strahm shoves Hoffman into the coffin and you can see Hoffman start to gloat and taunt Strahm from behind the glass because he’s sealed his own fate? Amazing. No notes. I did have to look away at the end of the trap though because watching the Saw movies has taught me I cannot handle broken bones, especially when they are very prominent. As soon as I saw Strahm start pushing on the walls I went “I know where this is going” and dutifully turned my head away

Anyways Hoffman is an interesting new antagonist! I’m curious what’s gonna happen next in this little murder soap opera. Honestly, I hope that Agent Perez gets out of the hospital and fucks up Hoffman. She finds out that Strahm is supposedly Jigsaw, goes “wtf no I could never believe that” and starts trying to pursue the real killer

Current Saw movie ranking (giving this because I gave it to my friend after discussing Saw V and my thoughts on the franchise overall)

Saw (The og and the goat, don’t think anything will really topple this one. I was glued to the screen the entire time and loved how this one really focused on Adam and Lawrence, the people in the trap, rather than the killer himself. I feel a lot of future installments lack compelling trap victims which is kinda a shame)

Saw V (I liked the story of Hoffman in this and the cat and mouse between Hoffman and Strahm a lot)

Saw IV (This was a really well done trap gauntlet for the main portion of the plot and the ending reveal was so awesome. Lots of adrenaline pumping for this one, but it did get lowered because I’m still meh on a lot of the John Kramer additional backstory stuff atm)

Saw II (Saw II gave me so many issues ranking it because the final reveal was PHENOMENAL but the main game portion didn’t always work for me. I did like the idea of Eric’s game of just having to wait out the clock but I kinda count that as being a part of the final reveal and thus it can’t elevate the whole movie. There’s potential this and Saw IV could flip flop depending on my moods. This one just has higher highs but lower lows for me)

Saw III (I liked Amanda getting tested and the whole ending with the chain reaction of violence/death, but that’s about it. The main traps in this game did not do it for me, nor did the story connecting those traps. This one also just really felt that they needed to escalate the traps for escalation’s sake rather than to tell a compelling story, which I know is probably a dumb complaint for the gory trap horror franchise but idk I just didn’t like it)

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

In a single moment

Summary: You’re best friends with Aaron, that was it. You were both content with being just that but one moment turned everything around and now you’re both questioning where you stand. 

Warnings: Angst but only if you squint, fluff. 

Word count - 1.4k

Material list

———————————

One moment can change a lot in your life... in a few seconds it did exactly that.

You don't know how it happened and it left many questions unanswered in your head. The only other person that could help you figure it out wasn't even in the vicinity.

You didn't know where he was actually.

It started with a conversation here and there. Dinner every one in a while, you both understood you had time to kill. You both didn't have anyone in your life to take care of.

That led to many nights with you two together, nothing but innocent. "Are you doing anything later?"

You pushed your chair out from the desk and stared into Aarons whiskey colored eyes. "That depends, you have another "adventure" lined up?"

His dimples made a small appearance, "Well I think you'll enjoy the "adventure" just like you did the last one... and the one before that."

While grinning you pulled out your phone, "Let me see--" you continued to make him wait. You couldn't help but notice how his smile had reached his eyes in your peripheral. "Hotchner you're just in time, I have a free spot with your name on it."

"Lucky me, I'll pick you up at seven?" You nodded and said your goodbyes before he walked back to his office.

That's how the majority of your exchanges went. Your sarcastic comments and he was always playful with you.

Anyone could've told you that you were falling into a hole for each other but at that moment, you just needed a friend. Aaron was more than happy to be that person.

So again how it changed so fast was beyond you.

Your body ached from the very active night you had. Flashes of him against you, inside you, were soaring through your mind. It had you running two hands over your face in... happiness?

"What the fuck did we do?" You said to the empty room. Your arms dropped onto the comforter with a puff. "Fuck me." How could you have allowed this to happen? You'll never see him the same again. Instead of the playful man you know you'll see the man that held you down and whispered sweet nothings into your ear while absolutely fucking you.

You still felt the way his touch felt against your skin, it was so warm, graceful. Aaron was a gentleman the whole time.

Your back was against the headboard when you saw the small sticky note on the side table.

Hope this notes not necessary and I get back before you wake up but good morning. I'll be back within an hour or so. Feel free to make yourself at home.

With a deep breath your feet hit the hard wood floor. You searched for clothes and combed through the products he had in this bathroom. When you striped you saw the small bruises that littered your breasts.

Aaron took his time kneading and kissing them. Occasionally your hand met the back of his head to get those last few seconds of euphoria. It was nothing compared to the ecstasy that was sex with Aaron.

You still weren't sure how you felt. You were certainly satisfied but for some reason the pieces never fell into place. You couldn't be attracted to him? He was ten years your senior and surely he didn't feel it either. He was kind to everyone, not the way he was with you but that's different.

Friends act differently around each other than other people. Aaron was generous, clever, confident, sexy.

The bedroom door creaked while you were in the middle of changing. You saw Aaron take a step into the room, "Can you give me a minute please."

Just as quick the door clicked shut and his voice vibrated from the other side. "Sure I uh-- I got pancakes if you're hungry."

"Thank you." You said while tugging on his sweatpants. Jesus. You honestly kind of loved the way you looked in his clothes.

You opened the door and slowly made your way through the hallway. He was standing at the kitchen island with the styrofoam containers both flipped open. Before taking a seat you watched him prepare your drink. Opening the lid and pouring in three sugars into the black coffee.

"Hey", he said softly. "Come on" He took a seat on the stool and you followed.

"Smells really good, thank you." You took a bite.

"Don't worry about it, I always get you breakfast."

"I know-- but this time it's different." Your words were barely audible but he heard them clearly. The rest of the meal was done in silence. He cleaned in silence and you watched.

You didn't notice when he returned to his seat with his hands on the counter. "We should talk about this shouldn't we."

You focused on his hands. Tracing the thick viens to his forearms, neck, the side of his face. You saw his breathing shutter and his fast heartbeat.

Your hands settled in your lap, "I'm scared." You whispered. It seemed to get his attention, instead of looking forward he was set on you.

He followed where your eyes went and he furrowed his brows. "I know."

"What did we do Aaron? We had a good thing going. I didn’t think that was ever going to happen." You pushed a frustrated hand through your hair. "You were my best friend and I don't know where we stand anymore." A tear trickled it's way down your cheek. Every second he was quiet it made your heart beat faster. This is it

"How would you feel about us?" Aaron spoke as softly as he could.

"I don--" He grabbed your palms and rested them in his. "How would we even manage something like this. It's huge, you know I don't do well with this kind of thing. I really don't wanna lose you and they always leave." Tears flowed down your skin, eventually getting the salty taste on your tongue.

Your eyes fluttered shut when you felt the heat of his palm return to your face, like the way he held you just hours ago. His thumb wiped away your tears, "Look at me."

His pupils were slowly expanding with every moment, "What makes you think I would leave. I already know everything about you and I'm still here. You're still as beautiful to me as the day we met."

Your lip pouted and you couldn't control your legs while they wrapped around his waist. There was nothing sexual in the way his hands held the lower part of your body to keep you up. With your face buried into his neck a hand held the back of your head.

He spoke again, "There's no way in hell I'm going anywhere without you... and that's really just a vacation." Broken laughs vibrated on his skin. It the first time he's make you laugh since everything changed. "Can you look at me."

You don't know what he saw in you only that it was something gorgeous. At the moment you couldn't have looked your best. Your eyes burned and your eyelids hung low with the exhaustion crying brought. You had to keep sniffing and every time you did it made his lips tug into a smile.

Aarons fingers brushed away the tear soaked hair on your face, "You're amazing to me y/n. So now I ask, can we give this a try?"

"Maybe." You sadly smiled. If you had figured out at least some of your feeling you could've avoided this whole thing. You wouldn't be crying in his lap feeling embarrassed.

"Can I kiss you?" His hand stilled at the nape of your neck.

"Yes", your voice was small and you watched till both your eyes fluttered shut and your lips met. Last night the kisses were passionate but now it was slow and delicate. You could feel his stubble and the taste of him that seeped through the kiss. It was nothing crazy but your mind ran with it. 

When he pulled away to make sure you were alright your hand took his cheek and you kissed him. Not holding back anything this time. His words from before made you comfortable and confident he meant it.

In response to the soft moan you released his grip tightened on your neck.

"Are you sure?", you said.

His dimples appeared again, "I thought we already covered this."

"I know I'm just-" Aaron cut you off.

"Just making sure, I know sweetheart." Your cheeks heated and he brushed the hair away again. You knew from then on that this was something you wanted to take a chance with. It wasn’t mean to happen but even you and Aaron can’t control everything. 

[seedlessmuffins]

there’s something so important, about that win yesterday. not only did we beat a team that has stanley cup aspirations, which has two of the best players in the world on their team (which we shut down), overall it was a stunning performance from every single player on the ice. from jt miller’s five points, to boeser’s four goals, to demko’s .955 save percentage with the flu to the introduction of hughes as the captain in a stunning fashion, across the board it was a great night not only for the team, but for the fans 

(full tactico thoughts below the cut)

what we saw last night was a full team effort, not just the top 6 forwards and top 2 defensive pairings clicking. everyone across the line up was pulling their weight and clicking into place last night. because of injuries, illness, and our salary cap situation, we ended up playing with a player less, and with 11 forwards and 6 defensemen. this meant that the bottom 3 wingers especially needed to play more then they usually would, against the tough opponent of the most complete oilers team they have ever iced since they drafted mcdavid. and the bottom five did exceptionally well in the positions they put themselves in!! 

lafferty, for being a new acquisition, knew exactly what he was doing. he positioned himself well, especially during the pk, right near the goal and was always in a good place to either pass or get the puck within shooting range of the net. he is such a smart player, drawing that penalty in the third is absolute genius and he just knows where to move within his line and how to create a good pass. i think hoglander worked well with him, as he made some nice little plays especially behind the edmonton net during one of the power plays (i think in the third period?) to keep possession of the puck. i was glad to see him make the roster, i think he’s a smart player and a solid person to have on the 4th line. 

i adored joshua’s game, honestly he was one of the standouts of the night for me. he was willing to use his body, not only to block shots on the pk but also to drop the gloves less than 5 minutes into the game, but he was also able to position himself well to be in scoring positions and it paid off as he scored the 8th and final goal for the canucks. joshua is one of my favourite players, and i hope he continues doing well this season both with his physicality and his scoring, he is nothing but an asset and really is a necessary staple of our third line at this point. 

the hirose/juulsen pairing did well when they were on the ice, nothing notable, however the cole/meyers pairing was incredible. very physical, both in hits and blocking shots, able to get back quickly and had some nice puck distributions, and other then meyer’s stupid penalty in the first period, they were great. ian cole is an amazing addition to the team and i can’t wait to see what more he will do, especially on the pk, he was excellent and i can’t wait to see more. 

the “pbj” line of di guiseppe, boeser, and miller was incredible and so productive. near the net all night, lighting the lamp, excellent puck possession and was able to fight the hard battles in the corners. of course boeser’s 4 goals deserve to be celebrated, they were incredible (especially the first goal? sexy, sexy hockey), but di guiseppe and miller’s passes made it possible for boeser to finish the passes with incredible accuracy. these guys also did great work on the pp, they made up an excellent second unit to keep the pressure in the edmonton zone without the stars on the ice, and i think boeser got his groove back. lets see 30+ goals this season.

tocchet really loaded up the top line and the top d pairing, with hughes/hronek and garland/pettersson/kuzmenko as the top lines. i thought both lines did an excellent job not only creating chances, but also shutting down the mcdrai line when they were both out at the same time. petey had some stunning, sexy passes (i’m still thinking about his first pass to garland for the first goal,,,, holy shit that was sexy) and garland was able to hold his weight and finish the chances he was given practically on a platter. kuzya had a quiet night, but he made some productive moves to keep possession and he was able to keep the puck in the offensive zone during pp time so i’m not mad at how he played, i know he will only improve from here. hughes/hronek were exceptionally productive, both in passing and in blocking shots, and they had mcdavid shut down all night. the oilers not registering a single high danger scoring chance AT ALL at 5v5 with petey on the ice?? yeah that’s my selke candidate right there

and demko, how can i forget about thatcher demko? he made save after save, and the dmen gave him space to do so every time. he had a clear line of vision, and he used it. he made some incredible saves and came away with a save percentage that reflected that, all while having the flu! shoutout to desmith, though he only was in for 10 minutes he made some strong saves and didn’t look as nervous between the pipes as he did during the preseason. i’m glad he settled in nicely.

overall, we worked very well as a team. special teams were cooking, goalies were cooking, everything looked cohesive. there were some big hits, from joshua, meyers, and petey notably, and some good blocks. other then the first 5 minutes of the first period, and some sloppy passing in the middle, it was a strong, dominant game. we choked the life out of the oilers, even getting noted most boring man in the nhl to make salty comments about our decisions. i'm most proud of how we handled ourselves in the third, as edmonton were losing their heads with sloppy hits and stupid penalties, we kept ourselves together.

we fucking won. it was a great game. i'm so excited for this season. see you on saturday in edmonton.

[writersmorgue]

Febuwhump Day 1 - touch starved

Read on ao3

word count: 1094

TWs in tags

note: AAAAAAH and so it begins. I have days 1-3 written as of now so hopefully I can keep up with posting. I have a busy month so i'm really hoping I can squeeze in enough writing time. That being said I anticipate all of my whump being fairly short this year. Hope you like it regardless ;3

╞╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╪╡

It was international cat day when Denki killed his mother. 

He knows this because when the quirk-suppressing cuff fell off his thin wrist for the fourth time, he looked up and saw a cartoon cat smiling at him from a nearby veterinarian’s billboard, informing him that a group of cats is called a ‘clowder.’

The mental image of a dust cloud full of various cat limbs came to him like in those old, pre-quirk cartoons his mom puts on the TV Monday mornings before daycare. 

His mom, who was resting on the floor of the community pool, along with his cousin and uncle. By-products of his quirk manifestation.

His dad always told him after the accident- murder. No, he murdered his mother. His dad always told him that at least he killed his uncle too, since surely if he was still alive, he would’ve slit Denki’s throat for hurting his baby sister. 

Denki wasn’t sure what was worse, being told this or not just having it happen. Maybe death would be the best solution, for someone as despicable as him. 

After Denki’s Fifth birthday, his first without his mom, his dad stopped holding his hand when they crossed the street. Honestly, Denki still wonders how he managed that long, maybe he couldn’t stand the thought of losing his only child and wife. Maybe it took him too long to realize if Denki wandered off and got run over, he wouldn’t necessarily go to prison for child endangerment. Not if it was Denki’s fault that someone else died, since he seemed to be pretty good at that. 

After the hand holding, all other touch began slipping away from him completely. He knew never to touch someone without permission –his mom made it a very clear that he was never to forget– but what is a child supposed to do when his teachers wouldn’t even raise a hand to punish him? They took to verbal abuse, something Denki couldn’t electrocute and sink in a watery grave. 

His friends, although innocent in their youth, weren’t permitted to play with Denki by their parents. He’s sure as soon as they all began middle school, they forgot all about him. 

Denki never forgot. 

The last person who gave him a high-five, the last person to ruffle his hair, the last person to hug him.

His father only touched his hair to cut out the black streak once every few weeks, and even then after several months he just refused to speak to the boy until he did it himself. 

The murder was on his file when he applied for UA. His dad had a meeting with the school board after he almost failed the written exam, though whether he was warning them or begging them to take Denki off his hands, he’s not sure.

Getting accustomed to touch again was jarring, even if it was just sparring with his classmates. Once he became friends with Kirishima, Mina, and Sero, everything was different. They didn’t know about his past and they weren’t afraid of him. It was something Denki cursed himself for not having the strength to explain. A danger to others was all he’d ever be. 

Sero would rub his back when he would hunch over the toilet after overusing his quirk. Mina would drape herself over him when they would pile on the couch for squad movie night. Kirishima seemed to always be patting him on the back or giving him fist bumps. Hell, even Bakugo would shove him if he said something stupid.

And although Denki was endlessly grateful for his friends, and all of his classmates who never shied away from him, he longed for his mom’s touch. 

He remembers how she would run her fingers through his hair before bed and scratch his scalp with her nails. He cries himself to sleep sometimes, trying to mimic that feeling.

-

Class 2-A is celebrating Tsu’s birthday, which naturally means a pool party. Denki has gone as far as sitting on a towel near the hot tub a safe distance away from the festivities. 

Mina keeps yelling at him to join them in the pool, splashing water at him when he smiles and declines. 

“Boo! Come join the fun, party pooper, I thought you’d love seeing all the girls wet in bikinis!” 

Denki laughs half-heartedly, shooting a quick glance to Aizawa who is thankfully still asleep in a lounge chair. Tsu’s little siblings are taking turns adding to the tower of towels on his head. “Nah, Mina. You guys have fun. I’m good here!”

“Don’t invite him, you ever learn what happens when you mix electricity in water? He’d fry our brains out!” Mineta shrieks from the shallow end, quickly dunked by Bakugo. 

Denki’s brain must skip his initial reaction, because suddenly he’s crying and there are people talking to him from all angles. 

“Kami? You alright, bud?” Sero frowns down at him, swim trunks dripping on Denki’s legs which only freaks him out more. 

He scrambles until his back thunks against the side of the hot tub, his legs protesting as they’re dragged over the concrete. 

His breathing picks up, shivers rolling over his body as memories of his mother’s wide, lifeless eyes resurface suddenly. 

The way his cousin screamed as he fell off of his dad’s shoulders and they both succumbed to the electricity permeating the water. 

The smell of burning flesh. 

His mother’s burning flesh. 

The way the paramedic’s hands shook as she tried to soothe him, practically throwing the shock blanket on his shoulders. 

You killed them you fucking monster-

“KAMINARI.”

A low whine tears from his throat, and he begins to rock himself back and fourth. 

Distantly he hears a deep voice barking orders, and sees movement in his peripheral, but none of it really registers. 

“I’m going to touch you now, Kaminari. If you’re at all uncomfortable just push me away, alright?” The voice returns, closer than before, and he feels large hands wrap around his shoulders. 

They’re rough but kind as they pull him in. Years of calluses built up creating a barrier between them. 

No, not a barrier. 

Denki grabs Aizawa’s hand, clutching it to his chest. It’s the most grounded he’s felt in years. 

It’s… nice. Being held by someone so much bigger, much stronger than he is. Someone he trusts his life with, like he did his mother. 

The man sighs, patting Denki’s shaking back as he whimpers into his chest. 

“You’re okay, Kaminari, it’s okay.” He murmurs into Denki’s hair, “I’ve got you.”

And finally, he’s held.

[ratherembarrassing]

2023: weeks 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11 [13 feb to 19 mar]

this is madness. it's been a crazy busy month. i'm currently in my fourth hotel. let's go.

VACATION!

new york: greenwich village was home for the first week of my vacation. a part of manhattan that i liked to visit a lot when i lived in brooklyn but never a place i've managed to spend as much time as i would like... and still have not. the marlton hotel on 8th was delightful although i encountered far too many australians for my liking. the lobby bar was, as warned of in every single review i read, absolutely packed with people just chilling/drinking/working at all hours of the day, but it was honestly a hoot.

new york coffee: i am notoriously hateful of american coffee, because it's revolting, but the game has been changed in the last few years. every morning i went somewhere different as i set out for the day, and every day i was rewarded handsomely with a decent-to-perfect latte. thank you for embracing the milk based espresso game, new york. i cannot extend my compliments to california.

art: i managed to hit up two art museums i've been to previously (the met, the guggenheim) and two that i had not (the whitney, the frick) while in new york, and the completely out of character pre-modern kick i've been on heavily influenced where i had the most fun.

the guggenheim is home to my very favourite painting, franz marc's yellow cow, but half the permanent collection was down for an exhibition, so he was gone. however, i had seen marc's fighting cows at the met a few days earlier, in which my good friend the yellow cow is hanging out in the background, so i was content.

the met was full of all the classical architecture things i have spent the last few months being weird about, and so is every street in new york, so i was having a great time and my phone is full of photos of completely random buildings all over manhattan. but there was something really satisfying about walking through parts of the building i viscerally remember not having any interest in previously and being like, i know you guys now.

the frick was a similar experience, kind of, in that i have a clear memory of passing on going because i knew it was full of old paintings. not exactly my thing, for the most part, more of an incidental acquaintanceship from often being housed in the same building as art i prefer. i don't remember what specifically prompted me to go this time, but an inadvertent consequence of deep diving architectural history is that i acquired a whole art history education that i never really had, and like, what a difference that makes.

the whitney had a hopper exhibition showing that had pretty much everything he ever painted except for nighthawks, which was weird.

shows!: "are you going to see any shows while you're there?" "is there any other reason to even go to new york?"

this was documented as it happened, but i experienced classical music live for the first time while unintentionally very, very drunk. i've settled on this having been an incredible experience, well done me.

i saw funny girl. it's actually incomprehensible how good lea was in this given that, okay, so. wait, context. so what actually happened was, i had tickets for funny girl on the friday night and the ny phil on saturday night, and lea was out sick friday AND the saturday matinee. i got an email about her being out at 3pm but didn't see it until 6pm, and somehow i still managed to switch both tickets to seats in almost the exact same location and recovered like $100 of the original price in the process. so after being off sick for two shows lea was, honestly, fucking incredible. it's so irritating, but it is what it is.

jessica chastain is currently doing a doll's house (i think it technically opened on march 9 but it's been in previews for weeks). this was wild, as far as these things go. extremely minimal, bordering on avant-garde maybe or just throwing a lot of singular things that other productions have done into a pot together. spoilers for the key staging moments: it started with nora on stage for a solid 10 minutes before curtain (there was no curtain), while the house lights were still up and people were still wandering into their seats and talking, and ended with her walking out through a door at the back of the stage directly onto the street behind the theatre in a moment so baffling i am still chuckling every time i think about it. it wasn't perfect but it's going to stay with me.

an assortment of other things i bought/experienced in new york

an australian goes to an nhl game: i thought i could come to like any sport, but this was really just not my thing. also, the shouting from the crowd during the national anthem made me genuinely uneasy.

the post-metrocard subway. people had commented to me and have asked since if new york "felt different", and this might be the only place where it did feel different. the subway felt empty, and nobody uses the emergency exit anymore, and no more metrocard just feels wrong.

an american biscuit from popeyes. it was delicious. at the time i said i was coming around on the biscuit thing, but then i had one with gravy in california and it was just wrong.

a whole bunch of writing implements and notebooks from good for the study, which happened to be across the street from my hotel. it's maybe one of the hardest things to buy in australia now, as everything else has become easier and this one specific category of goods has not. i spent so much money it was ridiculous. ask me about my pens.

the apple charger adapter kit, because i accidentally packed my european adapter and had planned to use my apple brick exclusively as my means of charging all my shit. so now i have one for everywhere on earth, and that feels like a challenge.

which also lead to me walking past zitomer, because somehow i spent half my time in new york on the upper east side, and tar had reminded me of that new york magazine article about the women who shop at zitomer, and anyway now i own $22 lipbalm in a zitomer lipstick tube.

also, because travel seems to somehow always destroy my hands, i now own hand cream that smells like orange tic tacs. that was from whole foods, though.

los angeles: i drove! in california! pulling out of that avis parking lot was honestly one of the more terrifying things i've ever done. socal was experiencing some weather, and i had to drive to long beach, and i'd spent 20 minutes trying to figure out the carplay controls in a mazda (fucking insane) and it was going to get dark soon, so i had to go. in the end it was great, and the last day i spent driving all over the place and i am fully committed to doing the entire PCH as a trip sometime soon.

the pie bar: it was february 24, which is twin peaks day, so i dragged everyone to this place we found on google, and i ate cherry pie for the first time and it was fantastic, and like the ten or so of the rest of us all had different kinds of pies and everyone enjoyed the hell out of them, so this place was fucking awesome. also they gave us a candle to stick in leah's pie so we could sing happy birthday.

broadway cocktail lounge's karaoke night: long beach really was batting well above its average this night. maybe it was the weather keeping everyone local, but there was a woman who sounded like stevie nicks who did gold dust woman and i'm honestly still thinking about her all these weeks later.

santa monica: a lovely place to be! i stayed at the fairmont, which was very funny because i had previously had brunch in the restaurant there without realising it was the same place. anyway, five star hotels are hilarious and i love them. they brought my ubereats order to my door at nearly midnight, which makes them infinitely better than the intercons that i've stayed at that make you come down and get it yourself. i will but up with that at a four star hotel, but not at a five! i'm kidding, but not really lmao.

disneyland!: go on a rainy monday in february! waltz right into every right! do the star wars rides twice! i fucking love disneyland and will go in the heat when it's packed and queue for an hour for most things, but this was super special just getting to do anything. the new star wars ride is so fucking awesome! take your kids to disneyland!

then i ate a final lax panda express and headed home.

FIVE SHOWS IN TWELVE DAYS!

angel olsen @ melbourne recital centre: i will admit i was jetlagged as fuck and might have nodded off for a second in my front row seat. nonetheless, what a babe.

bikini kill @ forum: happy international womens day! this was all ages gig with a lot of tiny little kiddos there with their cool mums and it was a great time to be in a room with a lot of people there for the vibe.

florence and the machine @ rod laver: that woman is a god damn witch, and i will not be told otherwise. fucking mesmerizing. it's just a fucking treat to see the person who makes some of your favourite music be incredible in front of you.

lorde @ sydney myer music bowl: MUNA opened for her and they slapped.

carly rae jepsen @ forum: the most fun i've had at a concert in ages. i was sweaty and exhausted and full of joy by the end, and unlike everyone else there i didn't get covid. midway through the show i got a text that my 6.30am flight the next morning had been cancelled and that was also very fun!

haloumi baos at blondie bar: this is the always busy spot outside the melbourne recital centre / southbank theatre. they came with pineapple jam. it was so good i went back a week later for pre-lorde dinner and sat on a tiny tiny bench to eat them.

sydney: i am in it. i'm here for work, but yesterday i had brunch at pina in potts point, and this morning i had brunch at porch and parlor and wandered around bondi before i had to spend a few hours working. i'm here for another week and a half, so tell me fun things to do.

THREE COMEDIES IN TWO WEEKS!

am i being unreasonable (season 1, bbc): i watched this on the flight to lax, i had no idea what it was and no way to find out, and let me tell you: that was wild. one of the most intriguing and fucked up and funny things i've watched in a while.

extraordinary (season 1, hulu/disney+): this show is so charming i want to scream. luke rollason, oh my god. he's just a little guy!

the flatshare (season 1, paramount+): i dunno. did anyone else watch this?

okay i'm done, goodbye.

[mini-yoongers]

impressions of a newborn atiny

k i've been into Ateez for maybe almost a month now, and in a nutshell my stanning process is as follows:

• absolutely binge on nothing but music videos • after a couple weeks graduate to performances/relays • start learning names/watching fan vids

last night i started watching fanvids and got all their names down. here is what i think of the Ateez members so far.

San - San is 100% the only reason I even glanced at Ateez. I saw that story their hair stylist posted on her instagram of him absolutely wrecking his tresses during a Guerrilla performance and I was like Ok. I need to know this guy. And he's pretty much everything I expected. I am infatuated with not only his dedication to dancing but his harsh appearance and the way you can see his true nature is that of an artist. He seems like he tries very hard in all avenues of life. His sex appeal is off the charts. His face is my ideal and I want him to slice me open with his cheekbones. Knowing he is 5'9" makes me want to go feral. I will stan this man til I die, I suppose.

Hongjoong - he is drugs and I need more.

Seonghwa -Seong reminds me so much of Saga from Alice Nine to the point where it makes me want to screech and cry. He seems like the best hyung. He's so caring and is always just... there??? Also his nose. Jesus fuck don't let any plastic surgeons near that gorgeous masterpiece of evolution. A good boy. A great boy. I want to love him with all my heart.

Wooyoung - He is Yeonjun's boyfriend. His face is comforting. I feel like he's still figuring out a lot about himself.

Yeosang - Visuals are out of this world. Seriously. Every time I see him out of the corner of my eye I'm like wtf is that GORGEOUS THING THERE??? Oh tis Yeosang. Reminds me so much of Ren from Nu'est, both in appearance and personality. Seems like a very comfortable, comfy person. I love his body proportions and general energy/aura. Feels very calm and stable to me. Contender for bias.

Yunho - Unbelievably sweet energy. Can't imagine he's ever done a bad thing in his life. Tall enough to be friends with TXT. I will inevitably be falling extremely hard for him at some point. Soft soft soft soft soft boy.

Mingi - I love how when he raps he has that sorta heavy/draggy sound to his words. Super attractive. He's like a hot jock. Seems super sweet tho.

Jongho - Body so smol. Voice so big. Obsessed with his singing. Love how every time he has a line my brain goes "yep it's that guy." Very curious to learn more about what his personality is like.

_

As a group, Ateez seem to jive really well with each other and in my mind they really stand out amongst a lot of the mediocre groups in terms of their raw talent. I really love the way they utilize/use MR in their live performances, and don't shy away from it but rather use it for a consistency throughout the performance that really accomplishes what they're going for. Their use of MR allows them to go all in on the choreography. I think the way they separate their incredible vocals into studio recording and their incredible dancing into the live performances is really admirable, and demonstrates a clear vision for the group that a lot don't even come close to in their live performances.

Honestly I was... quite taken aback by how much more attractive they look in live performances than in MVs. Ha.

What strikes me the most are two things -- visually they're all very different from one another, which gives me the impression they were chosen for the group based on talent rather than strictly visuals/etc. They're definitely one of the BTS-modeled 4th gen groups, with their hyung not being the leader and the level of quality they push for in their dancing and performances. The sense of wholesomeness, and the involvement of members in music production, so on and so forth.

They also seem to really like each other, which is nice. I love the songs, and need to spend some time seeing which ones Hongjoong and other members took part in.

Ultimately, I think Ateez is a perfect blend of classic kpop styles and visuals with the modern 4th gen emphasis on talent and great personality.

I think that's all! Tell me how on or off I was with my impressions, I'm curious. Oh and spam me with San pics kthxbye.

[sylvies-chen]

Do you think Tim already knows or will ever find out what Lucy did for him? Also also, you’re telling me that she made all of her co-workers try and figure out a better place for Tim and they still “don’t know” about them being together. Yes sure…😏. It’s a trope but I’m excited for when they announce to everyone that they’re together and everyone’s just like “duh we been knew”

I don’t think Tim knows as of right now, but I think there’s a good chance he will find out later. Having him not know kind of creates this potential chekhov’s gun situation where it can be used as a reveal later (maybe either nyla or smitty lets it slip during a period of strain in his relationship with lucy which leads them to a resolution?) But I don’t know, all of that remains to be seen!

Also yeah, like no one can convince me that they don’t all know after chenford’s behaviour in last night’s episode. Like, they know Tim took the desk job and doesn’t like it, he asked HER first and foremost if she was okay in a room full of their closest friends, and then they start lowkey holding hands and smiling like idiots when he told her about his new job. They HAVE TO KNOW at this point, like in what world is any of that platonic behaviour??

That being said, because I’m of the firm belief that they’re already kind of out as a couple at this point and everyone knows, I don’t think we’re necessarily going to get a scene with a relationship reveal and seeing everyone’s reaction. Which honestly I’m okay with??? I feel like the relationship reveal + coworker reaction trope is more for couples that are new and fresh and it gives opportunity for something kind of awkward and goofy (in a good way) but it’s not exactly a productive scene if that makes sense? I get why they didn’t add it and why they might not do it. The reactions are had and it’s funny, but it doesn’t exactly do much to develop the relationship or the plot. Chenford is also getting serious very fast, so having their relationship be just generally accepted as the new normal enforces that, which I like. We saw Grey’s reaction which was important for reasons relating to how he can help them make their relationship appropriate but honestly, the only person whose reaction I feel robbed of is Angela’s. I’m not particularly in any desperate need to see anyone else’s reaction. You know Nyla would be accepting and kind of indifferent, and Nolan would be clueless, but there are plenty of other chances to see Nolan being oblivious to something lol. So we might not even get that “duh we been knew” moment, anon! But I think I would be fine with that because it’s a kind of moment that is abundant in fanfiction.

[piko-power]

So random thought in the middle of the night lol

Remember that one part in Sonic 2 when the lights go out and TV just went static, and Sonic was just walking to the door, trying to play it cool: "Uh, excuse me? We did not order a Poltergeist."

Okay, so Sonic knows exactly what that movie is and what happens in it. (I never seen it but I forbid myself to watch it for obvious reasons, but I know some of the references.)

You also remember that part in the first movie where Sonic was watching movies from outside the window way before he started living with Tom and Maddie? Like Speed, Naked Gun, ect?

What if I told you

That Sonic saw Poltergeist from the window, and that was his very first (and maybe not last) horror movie?

One October evening, Tom decided to put on a spoopy movie for the fam to watch. (Ozzie gets scared easily the poor thing) and then, of course, the Blue Devil just comes up and takes a peek at this new and interesting movie. A lot less action packed and more suspenseful to his taste but he kept watching.

Until at some point where the movie was just stressing Sonic out so much that he just ran off back to his cave, completely freaked out from what he had seen.

Now this was when Sonic was a little younger at the time so he honestly believed that what he had saw was legit. He didn't get any sleep for days because he clearly thought that watching a scary movie, when knowing you don't live with anybody else, no one to give you comfort, was a good idea.

Though as he gotten older he knew it was just a movie, but static TV stresses him out sometimes. And now that Sonic is part of the family, I like to think that right when October arrives, he wanted to watched a spooky movie with Tom and Maddie, since he believes he's old enough to watch them now.

But of course, Tom and Maddie absolutely refuses to let him watch scary movies and doesn't want him to get nightmares, which makes him very disappointed. He mentioned the he had seen a scary movie before, which did NOT help his situation.

At some point they had no choice but to let him watch with them since he wouldn't take "no" for an answer. So they decided to watch an early 2000s classic film from Studiopolis Productions...

Night of the Zombots!

About halfway through the movie, half of Sonic's face was hiding behind a pillow and he was holding Tom's hand. At one point it gotten so intense Sonic cried out and just crawled under the blankets.

This was the part where Maddie decided to stop the movie there and change it to something more wholesome and funny. Sonic was still pretty shaken up, though.

He decided to stay in Tom and Maddie's room for the night since he couldn't get to sleep. He felt a lot better knowing that he was safe, now that Donut Lord and Pretzel Lady are here for him.

Yep. I'm definitely writing a story based out of this.

[kaunisbaby]

MÅNESKIN SHOW REPORT NO ONE ASKED FOR TIME 🔥🔥🔥

the gig last night was HUGE 😳 I've never seen anything this big and wow. the band was super good, there were MANY solos (ethan and thomas mostly) and it reminded me a lot of 70s/80s huge rock shows and it really felt like an out of time experience. it was magical.

it was a 80k people show and there was so much variety?? there were children, elderly folks and everything in between. i saw people from austria, germany, spain (and angelina jolie and her daughter were there too 🤨) as well as people coming from all over italy! i also saw people of all styles and subcultures. honestly I'd been scared of feeling out of place because of my style but me and the bff were far from the only metalheads/goth people.

there were pyros and incredible stage lights making all kinds of effects! the giant screens showed the show in a way that i thought was super artistic (??). basically the production was HUGE, I've never seen anything like it, not even when i saw madonna in the 00's.

damiano is a literal god. he has an elegant mannerism when he sings that reminded me of young ville valo a lot which. you know. i like. but at the same time he seems very human and down to earth, a normal guy his age, for example when he went "LMAO look at my armpit hair on the giant screen" while he was talking in between songs. or when he said "now we're gonna show you something for the first time EVER" and obviously the crowd cheered, and he was like "lol i didn't even say what it is, could be the first time hearing thomas burping for all you know."

but it was actually A NEW SONG they were debuting, a ballad in english. it's still only a demo, and it's supposed to be the title track for their new album?? (but I'm not sure I understood that bit correctly).

i cried my eyes out during coraline LOL

ethan is a fucking BEAST (and good looking 😳), his drum solos were fire. victoria is so fucking good at bass and she's actually so damn gorgeous, if i was a teenager who was still searching for her style i swear she would be my main inspiration. thomas is also EXTREMELY good! and damiano holds an insane charisma, his vocals really really on point.

wow i thought this was going to be short because generally when i go to shows i have to travel and i usually go to the venue in the morning, whereas this time it was IN MY CITY and we got to the venue at like 6pm. i gotta say there's something extremely personal about homecoming shows. this is the first time im a fan of a roman artist (much less THIS BIG) so wow it almost felt like a national holiday that they were playing here and i do not feel very patriotic like ever but last night i felt kinda proud of being roman, especially since the venue was this ancient roman site. doesn't get any better than this

it was very tiring and my siblings and i got home at like 2am but it was so worth it! a great great show 🥺💖

[sankta-starkova]

LETTERMAN

038; camp prom

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summary: the one where ej and andy get to spend time together in the camp until the production gets in the way, threatening to ruin their summer and relationship

wordcount: 1.7k

Ricky woke up in the boys cabin and got out of his bunk before he reached over for the presents on the side.

Every year, he would sneak into Andys room and startle her awake for her birthday and she would do the same. It was their tradition and he didn't want to stop now.

Their friendship had been a little rocky since the Lily thing but they were back on track to being best friends again.

He walked over to EJs bunk and nudged the boy, poking him in the back but he didn't move.

Ricky rolled his eyes before grabbing onto one shoulder and shaking him slightly. EJ groaned, eyes fluttering open as he turned to look at Ricky.

"Hey man, you wanna come with me to surprise Andy?" He asked, voice quiet as not to wake the other boys up.

His eyes went wide as he realised where he was. EJ felt the body that was snug next to him start to move and he remembered last night.

Him and Andy had fallen asleep after watching a film and she hadn't gone back. She was now fast asleep in his arms.

He looked down at her and Ricky followed his eyeline. When he saw the sleeping Andy snuggled up to EJs chest, his arm around her waist, his eyes went wide.

"Dude! The rest of us are in here, you can't jus-" he started, voice getting louder.

EJ cut him off quickly, "nothing happened, calm down," he reassured before looking down at his girlfriend.

He shook her slightly, "Andy, baby, wake up," he said, "We fell asleep,"

She jolted awake when she heard that, eyes wide. She looked at Ricky, birthday balloons in his hands.

"Shit!" She said, realising that the girls would realise she was missing soon.

"Happy birthday Andy," ricky said, his celebration for her ruined slightly.

She calmed down for a second, sitting on the edge of EJs bed in the clothes from last night and his hoodie.

"Thank you Rick," she said, a smile on her face, "Now I'm going to sneak back into the girls bunk and you do this again,"

He nodded, giving her a joking salute before opening the door to the outside.

Andy turned to EJ, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before grabbing her shirt and running out of the cabin.

When she was gone, Ricky turned to EJ, his arms crossed on his chest, "I can't believe you man,"

EJ groaned, his head in his hands. He couldn't believe that they had fallen asleep.

After the events of the morning, the girls sat in the cabin, getting ready for the 60s themed camp prom.

Andy was feeling the best that she had all summer. After a long talk, her and EJ were back on track and ready to face the world again.

"Okay, I'm very hyped for tonight but someone needs to explain to me why we're doing a vintage theme for camp prom," Ashlyn said, rollers in her hair.

"I think it has something to do with Susan fine," Gina suggested with a confused shrug.

They looked at Maddox for answers and she held her hands up in surrender, "Honestly, I've never known, it's just a tradition,"

Andy stood up. She was wearing a pink crop top and a black pair of leather pants, her hair also tied up in rollers.

"Look, any tradition that doesn't involve climbing a wall is good by me," Kourtney joked.

"I'm gonna miss all this time with you guys, sisterhood all night," Gina said, a sad smile on her face.

"You good going solo tonight, you and EJ have been rocky and I know we can't have dates," Ashlyn asked, walking over to Andy as she took the rollers out.

The girls all stopped what they were doing and looked over. They had seen how upset she was when they nearly broke up and wanted to know how they were doing.

"Yeah, we made up," she said, smiling, "Plus, you know it's my birthday today and he's taking me out camping for the night,"

The girls all squealed, "That's so romantic Andy, you both deserve it," Gina said, "Even though you spent last night together,"

"Well we've got birthday pizza after this so the celebrations will begin," Kourtney said, a wide grin on her face.

Andy smiled. She had never expected to have a group of friends like this, ones that cared about her and all her flaws - which she admittedly had many.

Andy, Ashlyn, Kourtney and Gina walked into the barn together a little while after the prom had started, the three boys gawking at the group.

EJ just stared, his eyes wide as he looked at his girlfriend. He took a deep breath and grinned, walking over and taking her hand, spinning her around,

His eyes trailed up and down her body again, "You are stunning baby," he said, looking at her outfit.

There was an onvious blush on her cheeks from the way her boyfriend was checking her out, "Thank you EJ," she said, a huge smile on her face.

"Happy birthday Andy," Ricky said, finally taking his eyes off of Gina.

"Come on Andy, there's a photo booth!" Ashlyn announced, grabbing her hand and dragging her away from EJ.

The girls looked to the other side of the room to see Seb and Carlos, rushing over to greet Seb - who was dressed like an old man.

She looked over to see EJ running lines with people, ruining the vibe of the night.

Andy walked over, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Put the folder down Eej," she said, raising her eyebrows at him.

"I've got to run lines with everyone," He said, his brows furrowed together in a mix of stress and frustration.

"No you don't, put it down and dance with me," she said, half asking it and half ordering it.

EJ sighed. He knew he had been difficult all summer and he nodded, placing the book down. He was going to make an effort with her again, she was what really mattered.

"Please?" She asked, tilting her head to the side. She didn't want him to disappoint her again.

"Lets dance," he said, grabbing her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

Her face lit up and to EJ, it was worth missing a few prompts for. He had been so stressed all summer and hadn't been able to let go and be himself.

Before they could dance, Maddox got on stage, "I push people away, good people who screw up. So I thought I'd sing something tonight, it made my little brother happy and I'd like to be happy again," she said.

She started to sing, the group dancing around, EJ and Andy going into the crowd, just letting lose for the first time all summer.

She ran her hand along the lappel of his pink blazer, "Did I mention that you look really, really good tonight?" She asked, finger trailing up his neck to the gold chain around it.

He laughed, "No, but you didn't need to. You've been eyeing me up all night," He joked.

She smacked his arm as they danced in the crowd, "I hate you Caswell," she said, a blush spreading across her cheeks.

"I love you Andy Kennedy," he said as the music ended

"I love you too Elton John," she said jokingly.

He laughed, "You've been holding in those jokes for days haven't you?" He asked and she just laughed at his comment.

"Just a few jokes," she said, "I'm glad we're back, as friends and boyfriend and girlfriend. You know what I mean,"

He chuckled, "Yeah, I know what you mean Ands, I've missed you so much,"

After she went to dance with the girls where she stayed for the rest of the night. It was meant to be a solo dance anyway and she didn't want to spend the whole night with her boyfriend.

Andy was going to miss this when she went home, spending every day with her friends without any interruption.

Slow music played and EJ walked over, a smile on his face. "Last slow dance of the night," he said, holding his hand out, "Dance with me?"

She looked back at the girls and they pushed her to EJ and she laughed, taking his hand as he pulled her out onto the dance floor.

Once the prom was over, she began walking back to the cabins with the girls when she saw EJ walking across the field to her.

"So, you two are spending the night together?" Ashlyn questioned, raising her eyebrows.

"Not like that you creep, probably. We used to do it when we were little on my birthday, camp out and watch the stars," she said, a smile on her face.

"Have fun you two," Gina said as Andy walked away, "And be safe!" Kourntey called out after her, making the group laugh.

When she found EJ, she took in his appearance, confused as to what was going on.

"You're all wet," she said, tilting her head to the side in confusion as she ran a hand through his hair, "And whys your shirt unbuttoned that low. Not that I'm complaining,"

He laughed, "Camp prom tradition. The guys all take their shirts off and get ice cold water dumped on them," he explains.

"Ohhh, you got any pictures?" She joked, the two walking towards the field.

"A couple, I'll have to get you a copy," he joked back. They had both missed the easiness of their relationship and their friendship.

He noticed she was cold, slipping the salmon pink jacket onto her shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I've got everything ready for the best birthday celebrations ever, ice cream that I stole from Dewey Wood, a tent that I bribed the sound guy for and Ashlyns polaroid," he said, bringing her to the field.

She looked inside before turning to EJ, "It's perfect," she said, going inside and sitting down on one of the blankets.

"I know I've been a bit distant all summer, I've been so focused on the musical that I've pushed you aside. I know one night won't make up for it bu-" he started to explain and she cut him off with a kiss.

It knocked him off balance, the two falling back, her on top of him, hands on his chest, "You're perfect EJ, and it's awful that so much pressures been put on you but our issues are in the past now,"

"You're really okay with it all, I've been a crappy boyfriend," he said, half joking and half serious.

Andy sighed, "of course, now shut up and kiss me," she said, leaning in for another kiss, hidden in the seclusion of their tent.

She wished she could stay here forever, just the two of them spending time together, in love with no other issues.

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@maggiecc @hesfasttandshesweird