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helen-with-an-a · 3 months

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I Am An Adult pt 7

Hiiiii. I hope you enjoyed part 6. As I mentioned, this was originally one long-ass story, so please imagine you're reading it as a continuation if that makes sense. Once again, a massive shout out to @lyak12 for helping me out so much and hyping me up - forehead smooches for you. I think technically the final part of the official series, but I do have an epilogue idea that I want to write too, so it's not quite the end of the story (again inspired by @lyak12). This was tough to write emotionally, so just a little heads up.

I just want to say thank you so much for the love and support you guys have given me. It means a lot. Please let me know what you thought of it <3

Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 3.5 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Part 6 : Part 7 : Epilogue

Barça Femeni x Reader / Lena Oberdorf x Reader

Description: R faces the consequences of her actions

TW: This was emotional to write, so it might be a little emotional to read.

Word Count: 6k

The next few days were … interesting. It was clear to everyone that you and Alexia had spoken in some capacity. You were still avoiding conversation with most people, but the hostility between you and the captain had eased somewhat. You still partnered with the trainers and remained silent during breaks, but the ice was clearly thawing. It made people approach you more. Not outright, but you weren’t blocked from conversations. The side eyes and cold shoulders were no longer a signature part of training. The olive branches were slowly being offered out; a small praising smile or a water bottle passed your way. No one was brave enough to be your partner just yet, but that was fine. The only ones that weren’t fine were Lucy … and, by extension, Ona. You longed to talk to your best friend … if you were still allowed to call her that. But she remained solidly by Lucy’s side. You couldn’t blame her, though. You had made your bed, and now you had to lie in it.

It all came to a head during the final training session before you travelled to Zaragoza for the Cope de la Reina final. Jona had instructed everyone to work hard but to be aware of their own limits. Everyone had nodded solemnly; the last thing anyone wanted was an injury before a big match like that. Well … everyone, bar Lucy. It didn’t help that you played opposite positions; she was a right back and you a left winger. But so far, Jona had recognised the animosity between you, too, so you had been on the same team to avoid any confrontation … until now, anyway. To his defence, you seemed to both be over it. But, oh, how he was wrong.

Lucy’s anger had shifted from surface-level, emotional, visible rage to that deep, raw, pure wrath. She was aghast at how easily everyone was seemingly forgiving you. To her, you had disappeared on them, leaving chaos and devastation in your wake, returned and with a bat of your eyelids, everyone had forgotten the torment you had caused. Not her, though. Hell would freeze over before she could forget Ona’s heartbreak. Ona’s sobs were frequent in the reoccurring nightmare she had been having the past few days. She was getting little to no sleep, and with that, her ire towards you increased. You were the source of all her issues.

You had become accustomed to Lucy’s hard tackles and unnecessary shoves during training. It was inevitable, even with Jona and the other staff's interference, that you had faced Lucy a little. During rondos, she always managed to step on your feet a little or kick the back of your heel. If you were on the ground at some point during a training session, Lucy’s back was likely the first thing you saw when you looked up. It was starting to get to you a little. But what could you do? You had brought this upon yourself. Your heart sank when Jona called out the names. You were preparing to do a 15-minute 11 vs 11. Jona had pressed the notion that this was a chance to practice the skills and technical formations you had been practising all week. As you stood in your designated place, you inadvertently caught Lucy’s eye. She glowered at you, cracking her knuckles and rolling her shoulders. You were about to die. You knew it. The whistle went, and your team began your press forward. You could see your team's reluctance to pass you the ball; Lucy’s behaviour had not gone unnoticed. But eventually, you had to be included. It happened just outside the makeshift box. You had received a ball from Patri to make a cross for Mariona … or at least that was the plan.

Two sets of sharp studs crashed into your ankle, wiping your feet out from under you. The team watched in horror as you dropped. You landed heavily on your hip before your head hit the floor. You wanted to scream, but you wouldn’t give Lucy that satisfaction. You whacked the grass, biting back the pain. It wasn’t broken. You had snapped your collarbone once when you were still in youth age groups, and this wasn’t like that. But you had a feeling you wouldn’t play in the final. Everyone around you was frozen. Cata and Pina seemed locked in place, half wanting to help but the other, louder half telling them to stay exactly where they were. Marta and Caro looked shocked. Shocked that Lucy would do such a dangerous thing so close to two major finals. Alexia looked a mix of anger and sadness. Anger at Lucy for her behaviour; anger at you for not talking to her about it; sadness that once such good friends seemed to be enemies.

“Lucy. Ya terminaste por hoy. Vete a casa.” Jona’s voice was curt – sounding like the true manager he was. “Todos los demás, tomen un descanso para tomar agua.” No one moved. It was Ona who eventually stepped up.

“Amor, ir a ducharse,” she said softly, like you would to an angry child or wild animal.

“Why? So you can go check on her?” She said it with such contempt and disgust you reeled back, as much as you could, still on the ground anyway.

“I-” Ona began.

“No, I don’t want to hear it.” Lucy stuck her hand up, stopping Ona from talking. “I don’t understand how you can forgive her so easily. What she did was vile. And you’re letting her off the hook like that.” She was shouting now. You couldn’t let Lucy’s anger be misplaced. You couldn’t be the cause of a rift … or potential end … of their relationship. You clambered to your feet, hopping slightly on your uninjured ankle.

“Stop it, Lucy.” Your voice was surprisingly firm. She turned on you. “Don’t shout at Ona when you want to scream at me.”

“You want me to scream at you?” she asked rhetorically. You lifted your gaze to meet hers. “Fine, I’ll scream at you,” she took a deep breath. “What you did was inexcusable. Sure, you got some shitty news. But you don’t get to disappear like that. You are childish and immature. You hurt the people around you, people you are supposed to be your best friends. You can't just run away every time things get tough. Do you think you're the only one with problems? We all have our issues, but we talk to our friends. We don’t leave them behind like they are dirt. What if something had happened to you? Did you even consider how we would feel? No, you didn’t. You were too wrapped up in your own self-pity to think about anyone else. That’s not what friends do. I didn’t sit up every night watching Ona cry herself to sleep because you were missing for everyone to forgive you in an instant. I didn’t watch Cata and Bruna and Jana go crazy driving around Barcelona trying to find you to let everyone forget about what you did. I didn’t watch Alexia phone around hospitals in the area with a description of you to excuse your behaviours as soon as you return. You were selfish and reckless, and you showed us exactly how little we mean to you. We worried ourselves sick, we tore ourselves apart trying to find you, and you didn’t give a damn. Don’t think for a second that you can waltz back into my life and everything will be fine. Actions have consequences, and you need to face yours.” You could tell she had more to say.

You blinked. You felt like you wanted to cry, but no tears were forthcoming. Each accusation struck like a hammer blow, chipping away at your defences. Your heart pounded in your chest, and your stomach churned with a sickening blend of regret and fear. You tried to hold her gaze, but the intensity of her anger made it feel like your very soul was being seared. Her words echoed in your mind, each one a painful reminder of the hurt you had caused. The mention of Ona crying herself to sleep, the frantic search efforts by Cata, Bruna, and Jana, and Alexia's desperate calls to hospitals—all painted a vivid picture of the chaos and suffering you had unleashed. If you hadn’t felt horrific before, you certainly did now. Your throat tightened, and your eyes stung with the threat of tears. You wanted to speak, apologise, and somehow make things right, but you just ... couldn’t. You felt small and insignificant, dwarfed by the level of your mistakes. The raw pain and disappointment in her voice cut through you, leaving you feeling exposed and vulnerable.

“Got nothing to say?” She asked, chuckling slightly. “You know what … I’m glad Barça isn’t offering you a renewal. You don’t deserve it.” The words cut like a knife, burnt like fire and stung like a thousand wasp stings.

“Enough, Lucia.” Alexia’s loud voice cut across.

“Whatever” Lucy scoffed turning on her heels and walking back towards the building.

No one moved, no one blinked, no one dared breathe.

“Did anyone else see that vein in her forehead? It was massive!” Vicky asked jovially, the tension breaking in an instant.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Lucy that angry,” Mariona commented during the enforced water break. She had watched as you hobbled off to the medical room. You had refused help from anyone, and it was painful to watch you slowly trudge inside.

“I remember when we were at City and the doctors were telling her how truly fucked her knee was …” Keira reminisced sadly. “I had thought that was the angriest I would ever see her. She punched a wall in the gym; she was lucky she didn’t break her hand.” She shook her head at the memory. “But this … when Lucy sees the people she loves in pain … she’d burn the world down for them.”

“This is her burning the world down?” Patri asked.

“She’s definitely got the lighter ready, that’s for sure.”

“What happened after Lucy punched the wall?” Salma asked carefully. Keira chuckled, laughing at the memory.

“Gee put a frame around it and added a little label like they do in art galleries.” The whole group let out a tense laugh. Of course, Georgia would do that. “Alex says it’s still there too.”

Your initial assessment was right; you were ruled out from playing in the Copa final. You sighed but accepted the physio’s words with little fuss. You winced a little as they strapped it, grimacing at the movements. Lucy’s words echoed around your head, bouncing across your awareness as they played like a video in your mind’s eye. She had looked so angry … her eyes were filled with so much hurt. Hurt that you had caused. Of course, she thought you didn’t deserve a renewal. You didn’t deserve one. That was a fact of which you were sure.

“Tómatelo con calma durante unos días. Lo reevaluaremos después del partido.," the physio advised, giving your shoulder a final pat before standing up. You nodded absentmindedly, your thoughts far from the clinical room. You weren’t too upset about missing out on the final, to be honest. With all the extra … drama, issues, problems … everything, you didn’t think you should be playing anyway. You rolled your shoulders, hoping to ease some of the tension. Everything ached … not physically, although you were sure the extra time you had spent being sent to the floor was helping, but in a soul-weary, deep, painful way. A way that you weren’t quite sure how to fix. A way that you didn’t know if it could be fixed. You are childish and immature. You were childish. You were immature. God, you had spent so long wishing, wanting, demanding the team look at you like an adult, and this is what you do in return. This is how you repay them? Maybe they are better off without you next season. Your mind drifted back to that conversation with Lucy. Her voice, usually so warm and encouraging, had been cold and harsh. You felt a knot tightening in your chest, the weight of the past weeks pressing down hard. You knew she had every right to feel betrayed, to doubt you. The anger in Lucy’s green eyes haunted you. It was a mirror reflecting your own failures, not just as a player but as a person. You replayed every moment in your head, wishing you could go back and change things and make different choices. But you couldn’t. All you could do now was face the consequences.

And Ona, what about her? Your best friend. You tried not to imagine her face. Her warm brown eyes and wide smile were replaced by devastated, tear-filled expressions and anxious looks. God, what had you done? The guilt gnawed at you, a relentless ache that seemed to have no end. You could almost hear Ona’s voice; her playful teasing turned into something sharper, something pained. You had let her down. She had always been there for you, through the highs and lows, and now… now you had pushed her away too. The one time you truly, desperately, urgently needed her to help navigate this … you had disappeared. Like a ghost.

You weren’t sure how long you sat on the edge of the physio bed. Long enough for the team to have cleared out of the changing rooms, you think. You really should go shower. But you couldn’t move. Everything felt heavy. You were too tired to push yourself off the padded table, too weary to make the short walk back to the changing room, too fatigued to get into the car and drive home. A knock on the door pulled you from your spiral.

“Can I come in?” Ona. You looked up, reminding Ona of a meerkat on patrol. You smiled weakly, nodding and gesturing to the bed opposite. She didn’t take it, just shifting to stand on the other side of the door, ready to run if she needed to.

“Lo siento,” she murmured eventually. Why was she apologising? You were the one that needed to fix everything.

“You’re not the one who should be apologising,” you muttered dejectedly.

“I know, but Lucia is –”

“No, no, no, no,” you rushed out, cutting her off. “It’s me. I’m the one who should be apologising,” you corrected yourself. “I’m a horrible person. I am a truly awful person. I mean, who does that to their friends? Who disappears for days without telling them what was wrong?” You swallowed, taking a deep breath before surging on. “I need to apologise to you, Oni, uh, Ona … um,” you chuckled awkwardly. You cleared your throat. “I am so, truly, deeply, honestly sorry for what I did to you. I hate myself for it. God, now I’m crying again.” you said humorously, the joke falling flat as you wiped tears away. “I’m just so sorry. I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you, to Lucy, to Alexia, to the team. I don’t even know if you want me to make it up to you or if I should just let you live your life without me. You’d probably be better off,” you rambled. “I hurt everyone around me, and I have no explanation for it. Nothing beyond that; I genuinely didn’t mean to. I wasn’t thinking; I was just so overwhelmed with it all, and being here in Barcelona made it so much worse, so I just left, and I didn’t look at my phone because it was easier not to. It wasn’t happening if I wasn’t looking at my phone. It’s no excuse, and I’m not trying to make one up, I promise. It was wrong, and I know that. I know I fucked up so badly, and I’ve probably ruined the best things to ever happen to me, and now you all hate me, and I’m so, so sorry,” you sobbed. You hadn’t even noticed Ona had moved closer to you, her own tears streaming down her face, until her arms wrapped around you. “No, no,” you pushed her off or attempted to at least. “I don’t deserve your comfort. I am a horrible person, I don’t deserve…” you couldn’t finish as another wave of sobs broke through.

“Shhhh,” she whispered softly, her arms tightening around you despite your weak protests. You tried to move away, but the softness of her shirt, the warmth of her body, and the kindness in her voice were too inviting. “What you did … disappearing like that,” she began, her words spoken into your sweaty hair. “Realmente dolió,” her voice cracked slightly; you tightened your arms around her waist in response. “Your actions were bad, yes. But you are not bad,” she said emphatically.

You took a shuddering breath, the truth in her words piercing through the haze of your self-loathing. “I’ve made such a mess of everything,” you murmured, your voice muffled against her shoulder. “I don’t know how to fix it.” Ona pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes.

“You start by forgiving yourself,” she said gently. “Because …” she paused momentarily, “I forgive you. Te perdono. Et perdono.” This set a new wave of tears bubbling up. It was painful and raw but cathartic, too.

You didn’t want to, but you couldn’t help it as you felt a glimmer of hope. It was fragile and tentative, but it was there, a tiny spark in the darkness. You clung to it, feeling Ona’s warmth and forgiveness surround you. The heaviness in your chest lightened just a fraction, enough to allow a breath of relief. Ona’s embrace tightened, and you let yourself sink into it, missing how her hugs had felt, the comfort she brought you just by being close. She pressed a gentle kiss to the back of your head. “I’m sorry,” you whispered into the fabric covering her stomach.

“I know you are,” she replied just as quietly.

Every moment of the next few days seemed to blend into the next with dizzying speed, and you found yourself caught between triumph and confusion. Winning the Copa de la Reina, preparing for the Champions League, and waiting for the international announcements - it was a lot of everyone to process. Yet amidst the frenzy, you were quietly trying to mend the fractures in your relationships. Conversations, laden with heartfelt apologies, unfolded with each member of the team. More tears were shed, but you slowly began the painstaking process of stitching what was broken. Even as you sat beside Mapí during the Copa final, her silence spoke volumes, a tangible reminder of the distance still to be bridged. The sparse conversation, a mere trickle compared to her usual torrent of words, served as a reminder of the work yet to be done but also of the hope that lingered in the spaces between.

Then came the chaos of the Champions League final, a rollercoaster of emotions that whisked you from uncertainty to jubilation in the span of ninety minutes. Initially resigned to the sidelines, your ankle injury deemed worthy of rest by Jona, fate intervened as Ona fell. In an instant, the plans shifted, and you found yourself thrust onto the pitch, the weight of the final moments heavy on your shoulders. Yet as the final whistle blew and the roar of triumph echoed around the stadium, any lingering doubts were drowned out by the sheer joy of victory. Despite the bittersweet knowledge that this might mark the end of your journey with the team, at that moment, you refused to let anything dim the radiance of your victory.

The only issue that remained was Lucy. Ona had been careful to keep you two apart, but with the Olympics fast approaching, you knew a conversation was in desperate need. You had booked it ages ago, just after the Nation League finals, when you found out Germany and Spain would be heading off to fill the European spots in the Olympics. At the time, you hadn’t questioned it when you booked a singular hotel room with two beds for the entire two weeks of the competition. At the time, the logistics seemed simple enough – a singular hotel room with two beds, a pragmatic arrangement for two good friends united at WAGs in supporting their respective partners. But now … now everything was different.

And then you were waiting for Lucy in the middle of the Barcelona airport. What should you say? What would she say? Was she still angry at you? Judging by Ona’s actions, she probably was, but you didn’t quite know how bad these two weeks would be. You had decided that if worse came to worse, you would fork out for a new hotel room. It would probably be eye-wateringly expensive and damn near impossible to do, but you would do it. You knew a few of the partners of the German national team fairly; maybe you could crash on their floor? No. You needed to fix this. If not for your sake, then for Ona’s. You could see how hard this was for her, keeping her girlfriend and her best friend away from each other whilst balancing the international commitments.

You needed a plan. Ask her how she is when she first arrives. Let her start the conversation. Buy her a coffee. Let her choose the window seat if she wants it. Pay for the taxi from the airport to the hotel. Ask her if you could talk properly. If she says yes, apologise again. Answer all her questions honestly and truthfully. Try not to cry. If she says no … find another hotel.

You had been so wrapped up in her thinking that you had missed her arrival. She looked tired, but not angry. At least you don’t think she looked angry.

“Oh,” you said, surprised. “Hi.” You smiled at her. She nodded once, silently gesturing to the check-in desk behind you.

It was the most painfully awkward 3 hours of your life. Every attempt at conversation felt stilted and forced. You were often met with nods and grunts instead of actual answers. She granted you a small half-smile as you presented her with a coffee from the nicer-but-more-expensive stand near the gates. All you could do was keep reminding yourself that you were doing this for Ona. You were here to support Ona, your best friend. And Lena. Sweet, kind, perfect Lena … Ona and Lena, Ona and Lena, Ona and Lena

The room was rather large, you were grateful to realise. The beds positioned far enough apart to provide some privacy for you both, as well as a small seating area. The small balcony outside offered a great view, the hum of the bustling city audible, even from high up in the hotel. You waited for her to choose a bed, hoovering anxiously by the door, your grip tight on your suitcase. Ok … show time.

“Um … Lucy?" you began, the butterflies in your chest increasing when she didn’t look up. “Can we talk? I need … I want to apologise to you properly and talk a little.” Nothing. No reaction. Not even a flicker. This was not a part of the plan. She was supposed to say yes or no. Not nothing. “Right, um …” you wracked your brains, trying to think of what to do now. “Ok, um, if you don’t want to talk, that’s ok too. I’ll… um … I’ll just … I’ll just get out of your hair, then. Uhh, yeh.” Maybe you had come on too strong. Perhaps she needed to settle in for a bit first. You turned to go, your hand struggling to find the doorknob in your haste.

“Wait.” You froze. Every muscle locked as you waited for her to continue. “You’re right; we need to talk.” Turning back to face her, you looked at her properly for the first time in weeks. She looked so tired. The weight of everything was clearly etched into the lines of her face. Her green eyes were darker than normal, the set of her shoulders hunched slightly.

“Here? Or we could go get a coffee? My treat.” You managed a small, tentative smile, hoping it would ease some of the tension between you.

“A coffee sounds nice,” she gave a slow nod, picking up her purse and moving across the room.

The café was very typically French, no doubt redecorated somewhat for the influx of tourists, but the smell of freshly brewed coffees and warm croissants was too inviting to pass on.

“Bonjour,” Lucy smiled at the barista, her order flowing with ease in a torrent of French.

She stepped to the side, allowing you to add in your abysmal French, “un petit chocolat chaud, s'il vous plait,” handing over your card to pay for the drinks.

The seats were wide and comfortable, offering a quiet space for you to talk openly.

“I forgot you spoke French,” you fiddled with the napkin on the side of your saucer.

“Yeh, I didn’t want to lose it when I left Lyon. And it’s been helpful for learning Catalan too.” Lucy smiled weakly.

“How’s that going, by the way? Learning Catalan, I mean,” you started, attempting to break the ice a little

“Don’t. Don’t do that, Y/N. You wanted to talk, so talk.” She cut you off bluntly. Ok, she was still a little angry. That was fine, you could manage that, you think.

“Ok, um, well. I wanted to apologise.” You spoke slowly, thinking of exactly what to say before you said it. “Properly.” You took a steading breath. “I have no excuse, no explanation really, of why I did what I did. Why I disappeared. But … I am truly sorry. I know I hurt you, and Ona, and Alexia, the whole team, really. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you to watch Ona in that state.” You took a sip of your drink to help steady yourself. “I was selfish, and I didn’t think about the consequences of my actions. I was childish and immature; you were right.” You looked up to see Lucy’s eyes fixed on you, her expression unreadable but attentive. You took it as a sign to continue. “What I did was inexcusable, but I didn’t do it consciously. Lena said either I go to her, or she would come to me, and with the Pokal final coming, I couldn’t let her leave Germany, so I went to her. It all happened so fast, and when I got to Germany, everything was clearer, easier a little, I’m not really sure. But Barça and everything to do with Barcelona was just too much. I know that it might not make a difference, but I didn’t purposefully think about shutting everyone out and disappearing.” You took another sip. “I really am sorry for how I behaved. I completely understand if you don’t want to spend the next 2 weeks in a hotel room with me. I can find somewhere else if-”

“Stop it.” Her voice was quiet but commanding. Your mouth snapped shut, your nervous eyes drifting up to meet her gaze. “I appreciate your apology.” It wasn’t forgiveness, but she had at least acknowledged it.

“I really am sorry,” you cut in.

“Stop saying sorry.” You could tell it was an attempt at humour.

“Sorry,” you smiled sheepishly. She raised an eyebrow in response, trying to come off unamused but failing. Your heart lightened a little at the small sliver of the normal Lucy returning.

“I’m not angry at you,” she began. “No, wait, that’s not quite true. I was incredibly angry at you,” she corrected herself. “When I see people I love and care about upset, I get angry, and you really hurt Ona. But … I was also annoyed at the team, including Ona ...” You looked up, confused. “They all forgave you so easily, so quickly. It was like they had forgotten how hard it was for all of us when we didn’t know where you were, if you were safe … if you were still alive. And then I got angry at myself for being angry with everyone and ...” She stopped, looking around at the café you were sitting in.

“Um … they didn’t.” you breathed. It was her turn to look confused. “They didn’t forgive me. I spoke to Alexia after the first training session … I was back for. She explicitly said she hadn’t forgiven me. I still don’t think she fully has,” you licked your lips. “Not that she has to,” you added quickly. “No one has to forgive me if they don’t want to. Um, I guess the others picked up on her changes in behaviour and were following her lead.” It sounded like a question. Truthfully, you weren’t sure why everyone had eased off on you so fast, but you weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“I … I didn’t know that.” Lucy muttered, either to you or to herself you weren’t sure.

“And Ona didn’t speak to me until after … that training session. God, I was a total mess. I am an ugly crier, and, bloody hell, was I sobbing,” you tried to lighten the mood.

“I didn’t know that either …” she trailed off. The silence wasn’t awkward, not anymore. But there were definitely things still unsaid that lingered in the space between you. “That makes me look like a total arse,”

“No, it doesn’t,” you said gently. “You were hurt and angry. You had every right to react in that way. I was a total bitch.”

“So was I,” she said wryly. Lucy sighed deeply, rubbing her temples. “It’s just … I didn’t realise how much I was holding onto. I'm sorry if I ... we ... made you feel like you couldn't come to us.”

“Thank you,” you said softly. “But disappearing was wrong. And I don’t expect immediate forgiveness. I want to make that clear. I just want a chance to make things right, to show you that I’m here to stay. Well, not literally, anyway, but … I’m working on it. I’ve started making enquiries for a therapist. I’m really trying to get better at communication and stuff.” You nodded, pushing some hair behind your ear.

“Where are you going anyway? I haven’t seen an announcement or anything.” She took another sip of her coffee, a clear attempt at normalcy.

“Um … Bayern,” you bit your lip. “I think if Barça were to offer me an extension I would have taken it, but I’m excited to move. It’s a new challenge and stuff,”

“Hey, hey, I don’t need the media spiel. I get it. It also helps that a certain someone is also moving to Bayern?” she guessed.

“Well, that’s definitely a perk that other teams didn’t have.” You both let out a soft laugh.

“I really am sorry, Luce,” you said when the laughter died down.

"I know you are. And I am too. None of us were acting very grown up." She smiled at you. You grinned back at her. “Now then, have you got the schedule for Lena’s matches?” She asked, taking another sip and shuffling her chair closer to you, a clear change of subject, yet also a tentative step towards what your relationship used to be like.

Over the next 2 weeks. You truly rediscovered how much you loved football. With good food and good friends, it was easy to fall in love with the sport. The Olympics was special. The energy was electric, and it showed on the pitch. You watched as Lena dominated the field. You were fairly sure you had dribbled a little when she made her appearance with the Captain’s armband on. You were very grateful that the Spain match was later in the day, so you had attended this particular game alone.

“Schatz,” Lena shouted when friends and family were finally allowed over to see the players. “Come here,” she waved you over, holding a hand out for you and helping you over the barrier.

“You played so well, Liebe.” You congratulated her, a hand resting on her bicep as you kissed the corner of her mouth.

“Danke, Schatz. I have some people I want you to meet,” she said as she tucked you into her side, an arm thrown across your shoulders. “This is my mama,” she said proudly, presenting you to the woman in front of you.

“Um …” you blinked and swallowed. “Hallo?” you settled on, a shocked smile on your face.

And then the summer was over. The long, sun-drenched days had given way to cooler evenings, the warmth slowly seeping out of the air as autumn crept in. The vibrant hues of green began to fade, replaced by the rich, earthy tones of autumn. The laughter and chatter of tourists that had filled the streets grew quieter, the city settling back into its regular rhythm. Slowly, forgiveness was shown on all sides. After long talks well into the cool summer nights, an understanding was reached. The scars would probably always be there, but they were not just a faint white line, not raw and open.

“Look after her,” Ona whispered in Lena’s ear as they hugged. The pair stepped back to look at you in a tight embrace with Alexia.

“I will.” Lena promised.

As you held Alexia, you could feel the strength of her emotions mirrored in the tightness of her grip. “Mantenerte fuerte, cariño,” she murmured into your shoulder, her voice muffled. “We’ll see each other soon.”

You pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. “I’ll miss you,” you said, your voice cracking a little. “But I’ll be back before you know it.”

Alexia nodded, blinking back tears. “Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself.

“Prometo,” you assured her, giving her one last squeeze before letting go.

“Bye, kid.” Lucy said, stepping forward for her own hug.

“Bye, Luce,” you replied. “Look after Ona,” you whispered to her.

“Of course.” Her arms tightened fractionally before you let go. "Look after yourself too, yeh?" You nodded into her neck, laughing as she tried to ruffle your hair.

All three of them separated themselves slightly as you and Ona came face to face.

“I’m not going to cry,” you said defiantly, your voice already wavering.

“Me neither,” Ona echoed the sadness in your own. You pulled her forward, arms wrapping around her shoulders as you pressed a kiss to her hair. The embrace was long and tight, both of you reluctant to let go. You could feel the slight tremble in her body. You were sure you were shaking, too.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” you whispered, your voice breaking despite your best efforts to stay composed. Ona pulled back just enough to look into your eyes.

“I’ll miss you too,” she said, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “But we’ll stay in touch ... every day.”

“Every day,” you promised her, pulling her into another tight hug. You held on for a few more precious moments before finally, reluctantly, letting go.

Lena approached you then, her expression soft but determined. “Ready?” she asked, holding a hand out for you to take.

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m ready.” You placed your hand in hers, cementing the notion that you were doing this together.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” you said, trying to inject some lightness into your voice. “And when I am, it’ll be for the Champions League, and we’re going to crush you,” you jested.

Ona smiled, a tear finally escaping down her cheek. “Oh, please. We’re Barcelona,” she said.

“Yeh, we’ll we’re Bayern. Feel our wrath.” You stuck your tongue out, a similar tear rolling down your face. You paused, reluctant to turn away.

“Look at you.” Alexia smiled proudly. “Getting a new job. Moving to a new city. Moving in with your girlfriend. A proper adult now.”

“Not too adult, though. I still need you.”

I hope you enjoyed the story and the series as a whole. Please let me know what you though <3<3<3<3

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elusivecagedmockingbird · 8 months

Text

Orbiting: pt.1°

[icehockey!jungkook x figureskater!reader] [600+ idiot fwb to lovers; mutual pining, both has the libido of a teenage boy, it's so cliche it's unbelievable how clueless they are]

“Don’t stop baby,” Jungkook moans. He love-hates how you're slowly bouncing on top him. On one hand, he loves how you use him to pleasure yourself, slowly sinking inch by inch until you spear yourself on his cock. On the other, he wants nothing else than to fuck you dumb and to his pace—hard and unrelenting, he wants nothing spilling on your lips but his name and moans of pleasure.

"Come on, Y/N," he urges as he tries to thrust into you, his cock impaling you on top of him and you can't help but moan louder. "Fuck," you pant, "do that again." And so he does, planting his feet on the bed, his hips angled, he pistons his cock into you, bottoming out. Your body goes pliant above him as you submit yourself to your shared pleasure, your mouths move like magnets finding each other and momentarily locking in a heated kiss.

Jungkook reaches for your hand, brings it to his lips to kiss your knuckles, and it has you fucked. It's small gestures like this that makes not only your pussy clench, but your heart, too. It just feels too intimate, as if you're more than good friends seeking each other out after his game for a good fuck to relax his adrenaline.

Needing to ground yourself, you pin his hand beside his head and pull him for another kiss. Because a kiss, you can handle. You've kissed many times before—your lips already familiar to his teasing bites, your tongues danced sloppily around each other's mouth a thousand times.

With his other hand rubbing your clit, you unravel within minutes. Jungkook erratically thrusts below you, chasing his high, until heavy grunts leave his lips as he cums.

"Fuck, that was..." you pant, mind blanking as you look for the right word, still in a bliss. Jungkook only chuckles, hand caressing your back, basking in your afterglow.

But the moment is short-lived, and Jungkook eyes you as you pull away, "Second round at my place?"

"Not today," you pout, "I have to be at the rink in about...5 minutes."

"Can I watch?"

"Nope. Coach says it's closed practice for today. Something about a new skater coming in for tryouts." You're rushing to get dressed and Jungkook helps by fixing your skirt.

"Again?"

"Yep, apparently the last guy said I was too much of a bitch to skate with," Jungkook sees you roll your eyes. "Ah. That just means he can't keep up and you bruised his ego."

"Right," you humor him, watching him pull away to pick up his clothes, "you said that about the last guy, too."

Jungkook hums, "Him, too."

"And what about you? You can keep up with me, right?"

Knowing where the conversation's going, Jungkook faces you, "Y/N, that was for fun. And we were teens then," he chuckles, "I tackle men now and hit pucks on the ice," he's walking back to you, "none of what I do fits the graceful criteria your coach is looking for."

You giggle, having already known his answer but it's worth the ask because you've seen Jungkook bust a move on ice. Granted, not as graceful as you, but even you started out stiff.

"Right," strands of your bangs fall on your face as you nod, and Jungkook's hands, like habit, reach out to tuck your hair behind your ear. The gesture not lost on you and your knees buckle. If only there were no consequences from missing today's practice, you would gladly suck his cock dry right here and now.

"Plus, seeing the routines you do, there would be too much tension building between us that by the middle of a routine," his eyes flicker to your lips, "I might end up taking you on ice."

Oh, you are his to ruin. If only he knew.

Pulling your mind out of the gutter, you scoff, eyes rolling once again and push him by the chest. Again, Jungkook only laughs as he takes your hand and leads you out of the lockers.

>> Page 2

#jeon jungkook #bts fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts jungkook #jungkook smut #bts smut #bts angst #fwb au #jungkook x oc #jungkook x you

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void-wolfie · 7 months

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Forty-Five Days

summary: you come back on Valentine's Day after being away on a work trip.

pairing: Jenna Ortega x gn!Reader

words: 1.89k

tw: very fluffy (is there such a thing as too fluffy?), kissing, light making out, let me know if i forgot anything

a/n: happy valentine's day everybody! tried making this as fluffy as i could, not sure how i feel about this one, let me know what you guys think lol

Jenna checked her phone again; 5:15 pm, no new texts. You should be here any minute now. She looked around the crowded lobby, but there was no sign of you yet.

You'd just finished filming for a big project, somewhere in New Zealand. It was a long process, over five months to film. You'd only seen each other for a few days during the holidays and before you had to leave again.

She was excited, to say the least, and nervous. She hadn't seen you in over a month. It made her wonder how you managed to go all that time without seeing her when she had to travel.

Home just wasn't the same without you.

You searched the lobby for any sign of Jenna. It'd been forty-five days since you last saw her, which roughly translated to 1,080 hours or 64,800 minutes. And each minute you were away from her felt entirely more agonizing than the last. (and yes, you did all the math on the plane, it was a very boring flight).

Finally, your eyes settled on a short brunette standing off to the side, away from the crowds. Tan and layered in freckles, her sunglasses were on and one of your jackets was draped lightly over her shoulders. She had a cheeky grin, and you knew she'd been watching you look around cluelessly for at least a few minutes.

You tightened your grip on your luggage, breaking out into a jog to go greet your amazing girlfriend. The second you were close enough you dropped your bags and nearly tackled her into a hug.

"I missed you so much." You whispered, still hugging her as if it were the last thing you might do.

"I missed you more." You could hear the playful smile she wore, her happiness more contagious than the plague. But more than that, you could hear the relief in her voice.

You squeezed her even tighter. You needed this. You needed her. Forty-five days was too long.

"Baby, you have to let go," Her arms gently tugged at your hands, she didn't really want you to let go, but you two couldn't exactly stand around in the airport all day.

"Nooo, just a little longer," you whined, sounding a bit like a child about to throw a tantrum.

"Come on, you can hug me all you want when we get home, ok?"

"Fineeeeee," You sighed. You didn't exactly mind letting her go, knowing there'd be plenty of time for cuddles later, but it was always more fun to be dramatic.

The minute you let go of her, she stuck her hand out, a bouquet of roses held out in front of you, "Happy Valentine's Day, baby."

"You got me roses?" You weren't exactly the type for flowers, but the idea of Jenna going out of her way just to get you something had a way of making your heart melt.

"Yeah? I know you don't really do the whole flowers thing, but I saw them, and I thought of you so-"

She didn't even have to finish her sentence. Before she even had a chance to stop and ask what you were doing, you had hooked your finger into one of the belt loops of her jeans, tugged her in close, and kissed her with all the pent-up passion you had.

God those lips. That smile. Her scent alone was enough to drive you mad. Your whole world could be falling apart, and you couldn't care less as long as you had her in your life.

The kiss didn't last long, much to your disappointment. It did, however, leave Jenna a blushing mess, which was more than enough to leave you satisfied.

You reached into your coat pocket and pulled out a necklace, holding it out for Jenna to see, “Happy Valentine’s Day, love.”

It was a simple necklace, an ivory pendant held by a plain black cord. The pendant looked similar to a vertical infinity sign, except instead of one twist, there were two.

Jenna looked it over in her hands, admiring the craftsmanship and the tiny details.

“The symbol is called a pikorua, it represents two people coming together for eternity. Two people bonded by friendship and loyalty.”

You bounced on your heels nervously. You weren’t a hundred percent sure she’d like it, but the meaning behind it was too good to pass up. You wanted Jenna to have a reminder of your love, especially when you two were apart for work.

“I know it’s not much, but-”

“No, no, no. I love it, baby.” She looked up at you and gave you that smile, the one that made you weak in the knees and your heart all melty. “It’s beautiful.”

She gave you a small peck on the cheek. And despite the heavy kiss from just minutes ago, the small action still made you blush, your heart swelling with feelings you couldn't comprehend, "Come on, love. Let's go home."

Her smile. Her laugh. Her eyes. God this girl was your kryptonite.

You walked through the front door and immediately your jaw dropped.

"Jenna... is this?”

“Yeah…”

“…for me?”

“Yeah…”

“You did all this?"

“Yeah…” Silence. Tension filled the air. You could practically feel the nerves radiating off the girl next to you.

"I wanted to surprise you..." she fiddled with her hands, wringing her fingers nervously as you admired the scene in front of you. "Is it too much? It is, isn't it? I'll clean it up-"

"No!" You said it too fast, too forcefully, "No," You tried again, much more calmly this time, "I love it, baby, it's awesome. I just- I didn't expect this at all."

The house was completely decorated, like something straight out of a Hallmark movie. Candlesticks decorated tables and hallways, lighting up the whole house with a soft yellow glow. Red and pink balloons lined the doorway and silver garland hung from the ceiling. The dining table was adorned with a white tablecloth and a vase filled with more roses. A ‘welcome home’ banner hung over the dining table, swaying slowly as you stared at the painted black letters in awe.

This Girl.

She did all this… for you? Just to surprise you?

“Baby?” You felt her hand on your arm. You hadn’t even realized how long you'd been staring in silence.

You turned around to see her looking at you, her expression a mix of emotions. There was hope and fear, she was so worried you'd hate the decorations, she wanted you to like them. But at the same time, you could see the love in her eyes, whether you loved it or hated it, she only wanted you to be happy.

Your body seemed to move on instinct.

You leaned forward and kissed her without even thinking about it. Your hands gripped her waist and pulled her in closer, anything to be near her. Her hands seemed to naturally find their way up your face, cupping it as she kissed you back.

Forty-five days was too damn long.

The kisses turned into something more. Before you knew it, Jenna had you pushed up against a wall, her hands roaming under your shirt, leaving goosebumps wherever they traveled. Her lips were at your jaw, sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin. It took everything in you not to melt under her touch.

“Baby?” You breathed out, not sure how much more you had in you before your knees would give out.

“Bedroom?” She already knew what you were going to ask, her lips pressed into the base of your neck sent chills down your spine.

“Please.”

You woke up to the sunlight peeking through the window, filtering in between the blades of the blinds. You groaned, tossing and rolling back over in bed. Stupid sun… all you wanted was to sleep in…

You rolled over only to notice the void in the bed. Something was missing… or more like someone. Where was Jenna?

“Baby?” You called out, your voice hoarse and rough from sleep.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes taking in the state of the room. Candles all burnt out, clothes strewn in every direction, rose petals covering every surface like confetti, half the bed sheets covered the floor while the other half haphazardly covered you.

You could hear noises coming from somewhere outside the room. What is she doing?

You picked up one of Jenna’s t-shirts from the floor and threw it on before stumbling out to the living room. You followed the noises to the kitchen.

Jenna was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a sports bra, her hair tied up in a messy bun. She was working away in front of the stove, the smell of food cooking and something sizzling catching your attention.

You strolled up behind her, wrapping your arms around her waist and resting your head on her shoulder. You didn’t have to look to know she was smiling, you could tell, it was in her body language. The way her muscles seemed to relax with you around, the little laugh she let out under her breath, the way she tried not to move too much so she wouldn’t jostle you around-

“Baby?” Her voice pulled you from thoughts.

“Hmmm?” You barely mumbled, your head still hazy with exhaustion. Between last night's activities and the jet lag from the flight, you were going to need at least a week to catch up on sleep.

There was that cute little laugh again, so quiet you would miss it if you weren’t paying attention. “What are you doing up, love? I figured you’d be asleep for at least another hour.”

“I missed you,” you wrapped your arms around her a little tighter.

“I missed you too, baby.” She leaned over, kissing you on the cheek before going back to whatever she was doing.

Your eyes were half closed as you stood there, clinging to her like a koala with your face nestled into the side of her neck. Despite the fact you were standing, you were comfortable enough that you could almost fall back asleep, if it weren’t for her little movements, you probably would’ve already.

“What’re you doing?” your voice came out all muffled from talking into her shoulder, but she seemed to understand what you meant.

“Making your favorite. I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed.” She could see you nodding off on her shoulder, it made her smile. She always found you extra cute when you were sleepy. “Why don’t you go back to bed, babe? I’ll be there in a bit.”

“No.” You meant to sound firm in your decision, but between your morning voice and how tired you were, you sounded like you were about half asleep already. Which wasn’t too far from the truth.

“Babe, go to bed, I’ll be there soon,” She chuckled, smiling at your resolve to stick with her even if you were basically already sleeping on her shoulder.

“I’m fineeeee. I’m going to stay right here and help you cook.”

And you did. You stood right there and ‘supervised’ as Jenna cooked one of your favorite meals, pancakes and bacon. Normally she would’ve pushed you out of the kitchen for being in her way, but after not being together for so long, she didn’t mind the intimacy.

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x gn!reader #void-wolfie

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reasonsforhope · 11 months

Text

We’ve just taken a major step toward cleaning up space junk.

On Monday, October 2, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) in the US issued its first fine for space debris, ordering the US TV provider Dish to pay $150,000 for failing to move one of its satellites into a safe orbit.

“It is definitely a very big symbolic moment for debris mitigation,” says Michelle Hanlon, a space lawyer at the University of Mississippi. “It’s a great step in the right direction.”

But it might be more than just a symbolic gesture by the FCC. Not only does it set a precedent for tackling bad actors who leave dangerous junk orbiting Earth, but it could send shock waves through the industry as other satellite operators become wary of having their reputation tarnished. While the $150,000 FCC fine was modest, Dish’s share price fell by nearly 4% immediately following its announcement, pushing the company’s $3 billion valuation down about $100 million.

The FCC’s action could also help breathe new life into the still-small market for commercial removal of space debris, essentially setting a price—$150,000—for companies such as Astroscale in Japan and ClearSpace in Switzerland to aim for in providing services that use smaller spacecraft to sidle up to dead satellites or rockets and pull them back into the atmosphere...

Another hope is that the FCC’s fine will encourage other countries to follow suit with their own enforcement actions on space junk. “It sends a message out of America taking leadership in this area,” says Newman. “This is starting the ball rolling.”

Today there are more than 8,000 active satellites, nearly 2,000 dead satellites, and hundreds of empty rockets orbiting Earth. Managing these objects and preventing collisions is a huge task, and one that is becoming increasingly difficult as the number of satellites grows rapidly. The worsening situation is largely due to mega-constellations of hundreds or thousands of satellites from companies like SpaceX and Amazon, designed to beam the internet to any corner of the globe...

Hanlon says there are further measures that could be taken to discourage companies from failing to dispose of satellites properly. “Honestly, I would love to see that if you don’t meet your license requirements, you’re banned from launching for a number of years,” she says. “If you’re driving under the influence you can have your license revoked. These are the kinds of measures we need to see.”

Chris Johnson, a space law advisor at the Secure World Foundation in the US, says the loss of reputation for Dish about the satellite situation might be worse than any fine it could have received. “They promised to remove it and they didn’t,” he says. “It’s like the first operator of a car to get a speeding ticket.”

The fall in the company’s share price appears to be indicative of that reputational damage. The fine may not have been as severe as it could have been, but the FCC’s actions can be seen as a warning to other companies to tackle space junk. “This is going to be on their record and their reputation,” says Johnson. “It’s not trivial.”

-via MIT Technology Review, October 5, 2023

Always nice to see steps taken to tackle a problem BEFORE it causes incredibly massive issues

#space #space debris #united states #fcc #technology #big tech #satellite #astronomy #good news #hope

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starbylers · 3 months

Text

After spending some time listening and re-listening and thinking a lot, I think I finally have my head wrapped around all these songs. This post is an exploration of what they could tell us about Mike’s story, and also a sort of theory I noticed once I saw the full picture. This playlist is—in my opinion—the story we’ve been theorising for the past two years reflected in 12 songs. That might sound hyperbolic but it’s simply what I heard and interpreted, and wanted to share because I enjoyed writing it. I hope this is an interesting read!

If you didn’t see my last post about why I do believe this is Finn’s Mike/ST playlist despite the somewhat ambiguous title you can read that here. It’s totally okay if you disagree but I’m not interested in debating it, and this analysis is coming from a perspective of assuming we've guessed correctly that the playlist relates to ST (obviously we can't 1000% verify that, but for the purposes of this post that’s my stance).

I’m going to focus on themes and overall meanings in the songs because in my opinion that’s where any connections are going to lie, rather than specific lines holding anything important (aside from a few which I’ll highlight) because I feel like that’s closest to how Finn would’ve thought while making it. Basically a macro level representation of Mike and what he goes through next season, something that would help a person get into the headspace of a character. Oh and my larger point is about the playlist as a whole, which will come together at the end :)

➠ Track 1 | Ballad of the Texas King

The first song is an anomaly in that I think it’s meant to set the tone more than anything else. These explain better than I could hope to:

"Itʼs a murder ballad, and as is common in murder ballads, deals with promise and innocence being snuffed out.” [link]

"Clarke sings of a chance encounter with an ominous figure that feels akin to selling your soul at the crossroads" [link]

Hey kid come along, something is wrong, I believe you now / All this to say only one way that this can go / Come with us for a ride / Don’t it feel like hell? Boy let me tell you, that’s where you are

• • •

A nice little coincidence, Finn himself is quoted as saying season 5 is a “crossroads”. I can see this song being an allusion to inevitable big choices with life-altering consequences next season, and also more mature themes being tackled within Mike’s story. I mean he’s stepping back into his role as leader, and now they’re older that will come with a lot more weight and responsibility in situations where the fate of the world is likely hanging in the balance. Not to mention how his personal struggles will be tied up in that, it’s probable that a slightly darker, more self-reflective—and transformative—tone is waiting for us in regards to season 5 Mike.

➠ Track 2 | What You're Doing

A simple song about a turbulent relationship where one person is unhappy because their partner is messing them around, and they're pleading with them to stop.

Look what you’re doing, I'm feeling blue and lonely / You got me running and there's no fun in it / Please stop your lying, you've got me crying, girl

The partner is the one holding control in the situation, while they feel at the mercy of their partner’s careless choices. The mood here is one of helplessness and desperation while still remaining open-hearted, hoping they’ll change.

I've been waiting here for you wondering what you're gonna do / If you should need a love that's true it’s me / Why should it be so much to ask of you what you're doing to me?

• • •

This is heavily M!Ieven coded. What do we know about their dynamic? Mike is always the one chasing El (trying to “win her back” in s3, terrified of her not needing him in s4, stressing about her being in danger all the time). El is consistently seeking autonomy (choosing to learn about her identity over pursuing romance with him in s2, choosing to break up with him in s3, choosing to leave him behind in s4, and I’m willing to bet she’s the one who removes herself from his storyline in s5). We know their separation will happen early season, and naturally things between them must be unstable leading up to this. El being the one to pull away while Mike stresses over it checks out considering these past patterns, and also the end of s4 with her already closing herself off while Mike appears at a loss.

➠ Track 3 | After The Earthquake

A song reminiscing on a relationship and the failure and death of it, with a sense of lingering nostalgia and unwillingness to let it go. It’s set to the backdrop of a metaphorical car crash.

It wasn't built to last / If you wake up you’ll remember the awful things I said / Looking back to the vibrant days / Those days I'd never let you fall apart but things fade / Why would I ever fall in love again when every detail’s over the guard rail? / Velvet curtains drawn, flowers at your feet / Say you’ll climb your way out of your wake now / Are you awake now?

• • •

In simpler terms…this is a break up song. The longing tone makes sense to me for M!Ieven because I’ve long suspected the initial split between them is not going to be super clean cut (this should make more sense later). Mike and El were together for a long time for their age, and have a lot of intense shared memories. El was also his first and only experience of relationships; it’s going to be difficult to detach. It being the right decision to end something doesn’t mean it’s easy or simple. Even if Mike is gay and didn’t truly like her romantically, he still loved her and in my opinion that distinction isn’t something he’s going to have figured out and made peace with the second it ends.

➠ Track 4 | Promises I've Made

Very straightforward and repetitive, and follows on seamlessly from the last song: this is about having trouble moving on from someone who’s left your life.

Ever since you have gone the days don't seem so bright and I wish I could forget you but I can’t / I have promised myself I wouldn't dream of you but I find that awful hard sometimes to do

• • •

Based on what I’ve seen people might fight me on this, but to me it’s M!Ieven coded mainly because of its positioning in the playlist (directly after a struggling relationship song + break up song) but also because it is technically about an ex love. Could we say it doesn’t need to be interpreted that specifically? Yes. I suppose it could be Byler coded too but personally...the way I would interpret it is as Mike moping over whatever happened with El. There’s not any intense emotional pining going on; if you listen it has a very laid back, chill sort of mood and is honestly very upbeat. There’s no deep heartbreak. It’s just about missing someone. Plus it sort of perfectly closes out the process we see over the last two songs of being unhappy with someone, to breaking up and grieving, to the typical post-break up struggle of navigating this hole in your life and naturally missing what once filled it. This is a whole sub-arc for Mike.

➠ Track 5 | Angst In My Pants

We’ve reached the gay section! This song is about trying to fit yourself into an acceptable—aspirational, even—life but never feeling content, and continuously trying to squash this troubling Feeling, the titular phrase: angst in (your) pants. Some people think it’s a reference to literal physical arousal but others including me think that in context it’s intended more as a metaphor for sexual frustration/dissatisfaction.

I hope it doesn't show, it'll go away / It's just a passing phase / When you’re all alone, you and your head / When you think you’ve made it disappear it comes again, hello, I’m here and I’ve got angst in my pants

The queer subtext here is very clear, I don’t think I even have to explain (check out the cover art too lol). The song closes with a realisation/acceptance that no, this “phase” won't ever go away i.e. it’s just who you are.

Give it a hundred years, it won't go away

I also thought one of the opening verse lines was an interesting segue from the last few songs:

But when you’re all alone and nothing bites you’d wish you stayed at home with someone nice

• • •

Angst In My Pants may aswell be titled Forced Conformity the thematic parallels to ST are that blatant. Another point for team Mike Wheeler actually is connected to the main themes of the show like all his other friends, and no it’s not because he’s somehow oppressed for being a nerd. Also rather than being about feelings for another person the song is about personal struggle with sexuality which excites me to think about in relation to Mike because we’ve been saying he needs to explore his own identity outside of being a love interest.

➠ Track 6 | The Better Side

A very sweet, slow, slightly melancholy song. I’ll be honest I cannot decipher more than 2/3 of the lyrics but here are the most meaningful ones of those I could:

I know you cry and I’m trying to keep you by my warmth

You’re never gonna see my eyes, you’re coloring all the skies you want to / I tried staying alive, keep my head on the better side when you’re far away

You’re on the better side you’re always the better one for me

You’re all that I need, I’m not gonna miss you anymore

My understanding is it’s about pining over someone who is a “better” choice, whatever that means in this context. Deciding you want someone, someone who you don’t currently have, someone who is maybe distracted, distant or physically absent? But vowing to change that because you recognise that you need them.

• • •

This directly follows the Gay Thoughts song, and precedes the Gay Thoughts song 2.0 so I feel safe interpreting it as Byler coded and about how it’s Mike’s turn to pine. (Also because “better” implies that there’s a “worse” i.e. this is a situation where you’re differentiating between two things i.e. in Mike’s case, Will vs El). I can envision Mike and Will getting moments together away from whatever chaos is surely going on, having the space to connect more where Mike starts becoming conscious of his feelings, realising slowly that Will is the “better” one for him. And as the song also suggests, perhaps Will has pulled away from him in the beginning. I think this is possible because the torment Will's likely going to endure from Vecna could understandably cause him to push Mike away, fearing his safety or him finding out how Will feels, and also I just don’t think he’ll be able to stand the pain of being M!Ieven’s couple’s counsellor for much longer without cracking. But I think Mike “it’ll be easier if we’re a team” Wheeler would make it his mission to fix any rift between them, the final line literally being I’m not gonna miss you anymore.

➠ Track 7 | Don't Ask Me To Explain

As far as I can tell, this song is about being afraid to face queer feelings for another person who is also hiding this about themselves, and being conflicted about whether to confess because you're not sure how they feel.

How will I ever know you enough to love you if you're hiding who you are? / How am I supposed to let it show when I don't even know? / Don’t move on without me, who will be watching my body when I sleep? / I don't want to be the one who's coming out first, I'd really like to but I'm just too shy

The end is an admission of…something. I’m not sure whether to interpret it as wishful thinking over this queer relationship you believe you can’t have, or as an offhand comment about forcing yourself to love someone you can’t because of your sexuality. Interesting either way:

It’s so easy to lie to myself and pretend that I could love you but I can't

I did do some research and the alleged true explanation of this song is it’s from one queer friend to another (man to woman, I assume both closeted, maybe a failed romance?) but I could only find one uncited source for that and everywhere else seems to agree with my interpretation so it seems when listening to the song that’s the story people hear. (Plus either way the song is about being queer. Undeniably so).

• • •

It’s not Byler coded we’re way past that, it literally just…is them. It does seem to suggest a level of internal conflict in Mike regarding coming out that I can’t say I expected (yes I have no doubts about canon Byler but I’m also a pessimist by nature—that should tell you how obvious their endgame is though lmao—so I assumed the Duffers would go wrong somewhere). I always thought he would be almost consciously clueless about himself until he finds out Will loves him, and the focus be more on him liking Will back rather than him liking boys (and obviously wasn’t a fan of that), but the prospect of Mike actually being aware and grappling with his sexuality is what we’ve been praying for and builds on the more low-level thrum of sexual confusion in Angst In My Pants. Oh and the song also could suggest Mike suspecting that Will likes him/is queer too before anyone confesses.

➠ Track 8 | What Do You Want Me To Do?

Another straightforward one. It’s quite angsty, a big contrast to the more sad feelings about a relationship from the earlier songs. This is about someone who left you for someone else/someone who walked out on you, who decides they want you back.

You walked out took your chance, turned your back on our romance / You said the change would do you good / But then the bubble burst your dream, turned into a nightmare scream / You came crawling to me your knees, and you were asking me to love you please

The main message of the repetitive chorus is basically: you want me to need you, but that’s not real love. You’re just using me to feel better about yourself.

What do you want me to do? Say that I need you more? Is that what real lovers do? Or only what you use me for?

• • •

I mean isn’t that last part how we’ve always described M!Ieven’s dynamic—all about aligning with the other’s needs whether for safety, validation or feeling ‘normal’, rather than genuine romance? I don’t think there’s any chance at all of El leaving Mike for someone else lol, as I said I don’t think we need to interpret these songs super specifically. But it does make me wonder: could we possibly see a moment of regression for El at some point in the season, after they separate? The focus here in my opinion is frustration at someone trying to re-enter your life when you know they don’t truly love you. Reflecting on their dynamic I talked about with earlier songs and their history in the show (El walking away, Mike scared to lose her), is it possible the break up could leave Mike struggling initially then he progressively understands why it was the right choice (especially after spending time with Will), meanwhile for El it’s the opposite—she’s more sure about breaking up but something happens later on that shakes her belief in herself. Her having one last hurdle to overcome in her dependency on Mike to finally break that pattern of hindering her growth by retreating to him could make sense. And based on this song…Mike would not be receptive to being El’s safety net. Growth for both of them.

➠ Track 9 | Substitute

Again, very angsty compared to earlier. It’s about a relationship characterised by false perceptions (focused on class), and those being what is holding it together. One partner is pretending to be something they’re not, cosplaying as someone else, and the other is also being dishonest/fake.

You think we look really good together / My fine looking suit is really made out of sack / The simple things you see are all complicated / Substitute your lies for fact / I see right through your plastic mac

The relationship breaks down because of this and their partner doesn’t truly want to fix things, and ultimately trades up.

Those crocodile tears are what you cry / It’s a genuine problem, you won’t try to work it out at all, you just pass it by / Substitute me for him / Substitute my coke for gin

Essentially: your partner not knowing the real you because you’re putting on a facade—the facade being the version of you they really like, the thing that was making you compatible—leads the relationship to fail. The literal title suggests neither of them as they are are what the other truly wants or needs.

• • •

Obviously this does not directly parallel M!leven in terms of the topic of the lying but in terms of the themes and core relationship issues…yeah. To me this could be about point Mike has reached after gradually coming to realisations about the nature of their relationship after it’s over, like I mentioned before. I can envision a mid-late season confrontation (or something less aggressive sounding lol) between them, pairing perfectly with the topic of the previous song. El scared trying to fall back on Mike and he’s like…no, we don’t work, I can’t be that for you anymore and this is why: betraying who he is (nerd) to impress her, trying so hard to play the “boyfriend” role (yet they never successfully emotionally connect), if he’s gay then there’s also the facade of straightness, etc. I think it would show a lot of emotional maturity from him honestly, and I really need him to have a strong grasp on what went wrong with El for them to have a shot at forming a healthy friendship, and also to psychologically process all that stuff before getting involved with Will.

➠ Track 10 | The Rebel Kind

A short song about life being tough when you don’t have much (this one is class-focused too), but still craving the freedom that comes from not following societal rules and pressures for how to do life “right”, and instead living on your own terms. Basically the struggle is worth not having to conform. The first verse sums it up pretty well:

They call us the rebel kind but they don’t understand the things a man must do to prove that he’s a man / It’s not easy but I don’t mind, I just wanna run with the rebel kind

• • •

Again, obviously the specific topic is not relevant to ST but the thematic parallels blew my mind, I mean the entire show is about people being outcasts and learning to find strength in that, and the final season is going to majorly drive that point. We know this from the fact that Will “being different” Byers is the one who’s arc is said to tie up the whole show. Now in regards to Mike…if this doesn’t scream forced conformity and deciding to reject it for your own happiness I don’t know what does. It perfectly captures the thematic end point of his arc next season (and not just his but probably the entire party’s in one way or another). Also the toxic masculinity reference in that one line applies heavily to Mike with his history of trying so hard to do what he thinks he supposed to do in going from boy to man i.e. We’re not kids anymore. Did you think we were never gonna get girlfriends?

➠ Track 11 | Block Rockin’ Beats

Another one I think is mainly to set a tone; no real lyrics just beats. In my opinion it comes after The Rebel Kind for a reason. Somehow it just makes sense, it’s got this really loud, frenzied, unrestrained energy to it.

➠ Track 12 | Just What I Needed

We end off with a love (or desire?) song. It’s interesting because it’s quite aggressive sonically but at the same time it talks about being with someone in a simple uncomplicated way:

I don’t mind you coming here and wasting all my time / I don’t mind you hanging out and talking in your sleep

…but it’s also very intense how you feel with them.

Cause when you’re standing oh so near I kinda lose my mind

There’s a repeated line that stuck in my head. It’s obviously written about a female subject, but there is such a rejection of the feminine going on:

It’s not the perfume that you wear, it’s not the ribbons in your hair

It’s saying those feminine attributes are not why this person is attractive—and yeah logically that means the subject must have those things, but as I’ve said I don’t think these songs need to be interpreted on such a specific level. The point being made is about a deeper connection. The line is just intriguing to me from the perspective of Mike being into boys, I mean he could’ve picked literally any other romance song.

I needed someone to feed / I needed someone to bleed / I guess you’re just what I needed

The message here is basically: I was craving the rawest form of connection/intimacy with another human being (that doesn’t have to necessarily mean sexual it’s just those visceral words feed, bleed in comparison to perfume and ribbons which sound very fluffy lol)…and now I’ve found you and it’s exactly what I was looking for.

• • •

With all the themes through the songs of rejecting fake relationships and conformity, and accepting and exploring queerness…Will Byers is obviously going to be the thing Mike needed. I’ve been saying (and so have many) but Byler isn’t happening till the end. Also the playlist finishing with this song is telling in my opinion. Aside from the Castle Byers Classics link, the title itself implies searching for something which is now found, a journey being over. I say this for the purposes of pushing my agenda about this playlist painting a narrative. Hear me out:

Personally……that’s not accidental. It just isn’t. Even if my more specific interpretations aren’t correct, I just cannot believe that this wasn’t curated to draw a particular picture. I believe in coincidences and if the playlist had been titled as it was with a bunch of random unconnected irrelevant songs I’d be the first person to file it under that. But the title and the inclusion of a song from Will’s official playlist and these specific songs in this specific order? Yeah it’s about s5 Mike and I cannot wait to see him! If you made it this far thanks for reading <3

#byler #my magnum opus atp #this took so long because I’m a perfectionist and also life happens #I recommend reading this and then listening to the playlist with it in mind #see how it feels #oh & fav songs of mine: Ballad of the Texas King. After the Earthquake. Angst In My Pants. Just What I Needed :)

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xothatnerdykid · 4 months

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Aizawa x Reader Established Relationship Headcanons

(Cannot, for the life of me, get over my writer's block but I've still got Aizawa brainrot thanks to s7 so here.)

I might be in the minority here but I don't think Aizawa would smoke. He eats healthy and works out to keep his body in shape. Why would he compromise his health by smoking?

His only vices are chronic snacking (he loves those jelly pouch things) and caffeine.

He's usually up 'til dawn most days because duh, he works two jobs (hence the 5-7 shots of espresso in his coffee).

Despite his sleep deprivation most days, he is soooo sexy when he wakes up in the morning. Messy hair. Baggy shirt and boxers. Or sometimes a body hugging tank top and sweatpants. And his voice — his raspy, sleep-addled voice. The feeling of his stubble against the smooth planes of your face waking you up.

He doesn’t usually cook breakfast but he does always brew a fresh pot of coffee for you. And he never leaves without a kiss goodbye, even when you’re still snuggled up in bed, asleep.

When you first start dating, Shouta talks to you pretty much the same way he talks to everyone else. So curt and succinct, you sometimes used to wonder if he was upset with you. He’d usually get confused as to what made you ask that, and then explained that he’s just a man of a few words, that’s all.

As your relationship becomes more established, you notice subtle shifts in the way he communicates. It's not a sudden change, but your conversations start to feel more like a secret code over time, filled with inside jokes that never fail to make him smirk.

Shouta’s love language is definitely acts of service. He’s a pragmatic, action-oriented person who values efficiency. So of course he’d think that actions speak louder than words when it comes to letting someone know your true feelings.

That’s why he loves it when he comes home to your cooking, especially when you surprise him with his favorite dish. Because after 16-hours or so of working two jobs, he usually just passes out on the couch the moment he gets home and you’re not around.

He feels so bad when he comes home too late sometimes and finds you already asleep and his dinner sitting cold on the stovetop or in the fridge. He always makes sure to make it up to you by preparing breakfast the next day or…other…pleasing ways…

Seeing you take care of Sushi, the cat his very-well-and-alive friend Nemuri sometimes asks him to babysit, makes him feel all warm inside, too (although he doesn’t actually admit it, you just catch him smiling softly at you sometimes and quickly looking away when you notice).

As for how he expresses his love for you, it mostly comes in the form of acts of service, too, as well as gifts and physical touch.

Shouta’s romantic gestures are like rare collectibles. They often come as a surprise, but when they happen, you cherish them dearly. He'll surprise you with a thoughtful gift and leave it on your desk with a simple, "Saw this and thought of you."

He won't serenade you under the moonlight or anything, but he'll make you a warm cup of tea when you're tired, or wrap a scarf around you when it's cold.

You don't really have time to go out on dates most weeks, but when you do, you're either at a quiet restaurant or taking a walk through nature in the parks.

His favorite thing to do is sit with you by the window sill on rainy days and just have you snuggle up to him, bundled in his arms, while you read or do your own thing in comfortable silence.

Fighting with Shouta was like having a verbal sparring match. He’s always strategic, although his patience wears thin sometimes, even with you. Still, he knew when to bring something up and when to back down.

He won't shy away from a disagreement, but he's not one to let it linger. He’ll tackle the issue head-on, find a compromise, and move on.

One of your favorite things about him was that he never held a grudge or took conflicts personally.

Shouta’s life is a constant juggle between being a pro hero, a UA teacher, a single dad, and being your boyfriend. But oh, does he master it.

At first you thought maybe he was just a really efficient and organized planner, but one look at him, his apartment, his phone, and his non-existent planner told you otherwise.

“How do you plan on getting all of this done?” You often ask him about his mountain of papers to grade and reports to submit, to which he just shrugs.

“I don’t know, the usual? Coffee. Eye drops.” He sucks on his second jelly pouch of the day and goes back to his cluttered desk, papers strewn about like fallen leaves. "Duct taping my eyelids," he grumbles the last part under his breath.

You laugh, watching him from the couch with a fond look in your eyes. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

He looks up, one eyebrow raised. “For what? Managing to stay awake?”

“For…everything,” you shrug, walking over to perch yourself atop the edge of his desk. “For being you.”

He hums appreciatively as he pulls you closer by the waist.

“I don’t know how you do it, but I’m grateful.”

He glances up at you, smiling a little. You scratch at the stubble on his chin.

“Ready to call it a night?”

“Not quite,” he smirks before leaning up to kiss you fervently, tangling his hands in your hair.

Both of you slept better than you have all week. Afterwards.

You occasionally surprise him by finding him when he’s out on patrol and checking up on him. You love seeing him like this, in his element. He’s so kind to all the people he helps…

(A lot of the time, you end up making out against an alleyway or with him hanging upside down from a fire escape, but that’s neither here nor there.)

#i have no idea what this is #aizawa shouta headcanons #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa shouta x y/n #aizawa shouta x you #drop some fic ideas if you likeeeeeee i'm so brain dead rn

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tlbodine · 11 months

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Stuck? Try junebugging.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but we're 5 days into nanowrimo so maybe this will be helpful.

Do you want the safety and surety of knowing what happens next in your story but can't stick to an outline? Does knowing in advance what will happen suck the joy out of discovery writing? Do you try to wing it through plots but get tangled in plot holes or have a story that runs out of steam because you can't figure out what went wrong? Are you at your most creative when you have a little bit of guidance? Do you tend to under-write? Do you get ideas in your head for random scenes and snippets that drop from the sky without context?

If any of these apply to you, junebugging a draft might be for you!

What Is Junebugging?

Since you're on Tumblr, you might already be familiar with the concept of junebugging as it relates to cleaning. If not -- I think the idea was first introduced to me by @jumpingjacktrash.

The basic idea is that you tackle cleaning by way of controlled chaos. You pick a specific area you want to focus on, like your kitchen sink, and then wander off to deal with other things as they occur to you, but always returning back to that area. You end up cleaning a little bit at a time in an order that may not make sense to an outsider but which keeps you from getting overwhelmed and discouraged.

How Does Junebugging Work in Writing?

OK, so that's great, but how does this work with writing? Well. In my case, the general idea is to jump between writing linearly, outlining, and writing out of order. It usually looks something like:

Start free-writing a scene, feeling my way through it and enjoying the discovery process.

Thinking, ok, now I have this scene, did anything need to happen to lead up to it? Do I need to go back and add some foreshadowing? Does this scene set anything up that needs to be paid off? And then jump forward/back to make those adjustments.

I'll usually have a bunch of disconnected ideas of ideas that have popped into my head, so I'll write those down in a list somewhere and then try to figure out what goes in between them and what order it goes in.

I'll write what I call "micro-scenes" which is where I'll just sketch out a few essential elements of what's going on without worrying too much about details, description, etc. -- just he did this, she said that, the setting was this, real bare-bones script. Then I can come back through and flesh out each of those microscenes into an actual scene later.

Got a story that has a complex structure? No problem. Write through each storyline one at a time and then chop them up and weave them together afterward. Write all the B plot scenes first then come back through to do A plot and C plot. Move the pieces around like legos. No one ever has to know.

This method works for me because I can't "decide" story elements in advance. I have never been able to just sit down and "figure out" what happens in a story beyond a couple steps ahead -- I have to discovery-write my way forward. But at the same time, that gets really daunting. So I zoom forward with micro-scenes, roughing out the beats in the most bare-bones way possible, then when I run out of clear vision for what happens next I backtrack, flesh out those scenes, build in connective tissue, etc. and by then I will probably find more inspiration to jump forward.

It's basically folding drafting, outlining, and revising all together into a single phase of writing, which is chaotic and goes against everything people teach you, but if it works? then it fuckin works.

Anyway, sorry for the jumbled-up post, I'm dashing this off quickly while I heat up a pizza and I'm about to dive back into my WIP -- but I hope this was a little helpful. If nothing else, take this as my blanket permission that it's 100% OK to jump around, write out of order, write messy, outline sometimes, pants sometimes, and do whatever else it takes just to get through the story. You've got this. Good luck.

#writing tips #nanowrimo #writing advice #nano 2023 #writeblr #writing community #plotting vs pantsing #junebugging

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b14augrana · 4 months

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Scrubber

Before you fly out for the Spain camp, you make the most of your ‘last day’ in Barcelona

Barça Femení x teen!reader

pt. 5 masterlist

Warnings: ✖️

A/N: a bit of a longer update than usual, but here’s the fridolina content people have been waiting for 🐾 sorry about this being a bit boring, it ends up being like that when bebita isn’t playing a game and making crazy tackles, but it’s not too far away from happening 💝

“Ale, you liar! You said we were leaving today!” you grumbled, wheeling your suitcase back to your room. Your backpack landed with a thud on the ground beside the suitcase, and you trudged back to the woman in the living room. “Don’t twist my words. I just told you to pack so you’re prepared for when we do leave, since you like to leave things till the last minute.”

“We’ve still got to walk downtown with all the trophies, chiquita,” Alexia added.

“So then when are we leaving?” you asked, and she responded with, “Tomorrow night… maybe. Remember, you’ve got school today as well. You wouldn’t had time to pack anyways and I did you a favour.”

“Whatever, I get it. Can we go now? Where’s Irene?” you said, walking out of your bedroom with Alexia. You two entered the kitchen and saw Irene sitting on the couch, eating a bowl of cereal.

“Ireeni,” you exclaimed, basically jumping onto the couch. She clutched her almost-empty bowl and laughed, “I could’ve spilled my cereal, nenita.”

“There‘s barely anything in it,” you replied, rolling your eyes and shuffling closer to her.

You were really tired for some reason. The fatigue of the last few days was seemingly catching up to you, and all you wanted to do was crawl into bed and stay there. Alexia wouldn’t let you do that though. She wanted you to come and walk with the trophy you helped the team earn, but you thought she was just giving you way more credit than what was due at that point.

“Ale, I didn’t even do much to be carrying the trophy!” you argued, but she looked at you with an eyebrow raised and a small smile. “Don’t be silly, you’re too humble. You did everything.”

“(Y/N), Fridolina said she is going to pick you up from here and take you downtown for breakfast,” Irene said, looking up from her phone.

You nodded happily. Fridolina was one of your most favourite people in the world. You always looked forward to café dates with her in downtown Barcelona, and she knew you better than you knew herself. She was like a mother to you.

A knock rung through the house, and you almost slipped while sprinting to the door. You wrenched it open and revealed the tall Swede on the other side of the door, smiling down at you. “Frido!”

“Hi kärlek, how are you?” the woman asked, engulfing you in a hug. “I’m good. I’ll just grab my shoes and then we can go, vale?”

“Vale,” Fridolina laughed. As you ran to your room to grab a pair of sneakers, she spoke to Irene and Alexia for a little bit. “Okay, I’m ready,” you said, emerging from your bedroom.

Fridolina waved goodbye to Irene and Alexia. You turned around and said goodbye to them as well, and then you walked out of Irene’s apartment. You two took the elevator down to the complex parking lot, and while you were stepping out of the elevator, you spoke. “Where are we going today, Frido?”

“Our usual spot. I figured you might want one of their pastries to get you going,” she smiled, opening up the door to her car, “Oh, by the way, I’m taking you to school today. I just talked about it with Irene and Alexia.”

You sat in the passenger seat, stretching out your legs, “That’s cool. Can I stay at your house tonight? I’ve been at Irene’s all week,” you asked. Fridolina nodded as she started up her car and reversed out of the car park. “Do you have clothes?”

“Oh shit, that reminds me… I have to go tomorrow. My suitcase is at Irene’s!” you exclaimed with a groan.

“It’s okay, you can always sleep over another time. That doesn’t mean you can’t stay for a bit, I can drop you off to Irene’s if you want to hang around,” Fridolina suggested.

“Perfect. Gracías, Frido!”

The rest of the car ride consisted of small conversations and a bit of singing along to the radio until Fridolina found a parking spot on the side of the street. You hopped out of the car and skipped around to the other side, then you walked into the café with Frido.

“So, how are you feeling? Are your legs alright after all those tackles?” the Scandi asked as you two sat down at a table, “I always forget you’re only 16.”

“My legs are alright for the most part. I guess the win cancels out all the bruises and grazes,” you giggled in response.

Fridolina smiled at you and added, “I’m glad you’re feeling well. You really impressed us all last Saturday. You kept us in the game.”

Your cheeks flushed a pale pink and you looked down at the table, smiling shyly, “It was all Aitana. She gave us the momentum.”

You examined the menu and tried to decide what to order. Frido discussed it with you and when you two settled on your orders, you went to the cashier and bought the food.

You had ordered a couple of almond croissants, an Earl Grey tea, and a grilled cheese. Fridolina got a coffee with a Boston cream donut on the side. While going extremely slowly, you walked over to the table with your food in hand and Fridolina’s in the other. As you placed it down and got back in your seat, she spoke.

“So, are you excited for the Olympics?” she asked, stirring her coffee and taking a sip. You took a bite out of your grilled cheese and nodded, saying between a mouthful, “Really excited.”

It was your first ever Spain call-up. Most people were a bit surprised as they expected you to have experience playing with Spain’s youth teams, and you received invites to the teams, but since you started playing for Barcelona at such a young age, your agent told you to turn them down. Somehow he knew that you’d get a call-up to the senior team not long after, and he was right.

You confided in Mapi, asking her about what she thought was the best decision to make since she had withdrawn from the national team. Despite the new management and Mapi’s reassurance you still weren’t completely sure, but you pushed it aside for the opportunity to win Olympic gold.

“What if we verse each other, Frido?” you said, thinking about the possibility. The Swede placed her cup of coffee down and leaned back in her chair and responded, “Then you treat me like any other opponent.”

“But you’re Frido, not any other opponent,” you replied.

“To you I’m Frido, but to the rest of your team I’m the rival, and they’re trying to beat me. You aren’t playing for Barcelona at the Olympics, you’re playing for Spain,” she said with a smile, taking a little bite out of her donut. She offered you some, but you declined with a quiet ‘thank you’.

As you two ate your meals, your conversation switched from that of football to more general things up until you finished your food and decided to go home. You considered going back with Frido, but you didn’t want to get too tired and annoy Alexia the next morning, when you couldn’t wake up in time, so you didn’t say anything and let her take you home.

Frido walked you to Irene’s apartment and knocked on the door. When Irene opened the door, she was met with you standing beside the Scandi, smiling brightly with both your arms wrapped around one of Frido’s. “Nenita, you’re back,” Irene exclaimed.

“I hope she didn’t blow too much of your money, Fridolina,” Irene continued with a laugh, and Fridolina laughed as well, shaking her head. “Don’t worry, she’s learning the value of it.”

“Bye bye kärlek,” Frido said, wrapping you in a warm hug. You hugged her back tightly, saying goodbye and running inside while her and Irene said bye to each other. “Where’s Ale? I thought she was staying for the day,” you spoke, flopping onto the couch.

“The trophy walk, remember? She’s meeting Fridolina, Patri and Sandra at headquarters,” Irene explained.

“Why aren’t you with them?” you questioned, looking at her with a confused expression.

“Because we’re going together. Come on, get your ‘Movem El Món’ shirt and get in the car,” the Basque replied, shaking her car keys. You completely forgot about the trophy walk and you were kinda hoping Irene forgot about it as well so you wouldn’t have to go, but you trudged to your room and snatched up the shirt anyways.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your school either!” Irene yelled from the living room. That was another thing you wish she had forgotten but the one thing you know she’d never forget.

The trophy walk was pretty straightforward. Alexia thrusted the Champions League into your arms and made you parade down the street with the silverware, showing it off. You did enjoy it, but it wasn’t worth the ache in your shoulders.

Irene let you skip your classes, and she took you straight home. She could see the exhaustion in your eyes, and she didn’t want you to suffer the consequences of being tired and unable to wake up when Alexia came to pick you up the next morning.

You skipped dinner, instead beelining straight to your room. You felt like a zombie, but you liked that kind of tiredness — it made sleeping feel way better than usual. As soon as your head touched the pillow, you were sound asleep.

Irene even did your Hay Day login for you.

Alexia had been the one to ruin your sleep since Irene had opted to travel with Mariona and Sandra. She shook you gently and was very surprised when she didn’t have to bang pots and pans. “Nena, I made breakfast for you. Come out when you’re ready, vale?”

You nodded slowly and rolled over, pulling the duvet to your chin and sighing deeply. At that point you were fully awake, you just wanted to soak up the warmth of your sheets.

You sat up on your bed, rubbing your eyes. You looked directly at the poster of Vidić stuck on your wall, your eyes lingering on it for a moment longer than usual. You looked at the picture of him holding up the UCL, knowing you felt the same euphoria just a few days ago as you held the trophy for the same title, all because you managed to capture his essence and make it part of your play style. It was amazing what a notable inspiration could do for you.

You emerged out of your room and sat at the bench, resting your head in the palm of your hand as Alexia pushed a plate of strawberry-topped waffles towards you with a smoothie. “Our flight has been rescheduled. We have to be at the airport in a couple of hours, sí?”

You nodded once again, taking a bite of the waffles.

“By the way, both our matches are against Denmark,” she added, putting some waffles on a plate for herself. “What’re we versing Denmark for? I didn’t know they qualified for the Olympics,” you mumbled.

“They didn’t. It’s for the Euros,” Alexia laughed, pulling out a stool and sitting beside you. The Euros had totally slipped your mind.

“There’s so many tournaments going on, I can’t keep up!” you sighed, shaking your head.

“You’ve been playing too much Hay Day, it’s gotten to your head. Maybe give Bagheera Land a break until we come back to Barcelona,” the Spaniard joked with a gentle nudge to your side, and you smiled.

“Even though you’re playing for the national team and there’s a lot of important tournaments coming up…” Alexia started, pausing to chew her food. You looked at her curiously as you also chewed your food.

“…You’re allowed to make mistakes because you’re still young. All of us have been where you are right now, but none of us were as talented as you. Cree en ti misma, mi chica, y florecerás.”

You had made as many daring tackles as it took to lead your club to glory for the third time in a row and complete a historical quadruple. On top of that, you had partaken in defeating the club your team has never been able to beat in a final. Winning Olympic gold with a World Cup winning nation is nothing compared to that.

“Venga, let’s get our stuff together and call the taxi. The earlier we get there, the more time we have to wander the airport without rushing,” Alexia announced as you put the last bite of food into your mouth and sipped the remaining amount of your smoothie. She grabbed your plate and put it on top of hers, then walked over to the sink and quickly washed them.

You wheeled your suitcase out to the living room and put your other bags on top of it, waiting for Alexia to grab her backpack. When she swept it up from the couch, you pulled the handle of your suitcase up. “I’m ready!”

Alexia smiled at you and nodded towards the door, “Vamos, estrella.”

You couldn’t wait to get on the plane just so you could pull out your neck pillow and have the best nap of your life. You were constantly checking the time, counting down the minutes until the gate opened.

The original plan was for the whole national team to travel on one plane together, but somehow, all the Barça girls including yourself ended up on the team commercial plane. You preferred it, because you wanted to properly meet the team and not on a plane when all you want to do is sleep.

You settled into your seat and quickly grabbed your neck pillow. The airline gave you a complimentary regular pillow as well, which you hugged tight. By the time you opened your eyes and sat up with a yawn, looking out of the window with squinted eyes, you weren’t in Barcelona anymore.

You were approaching Denmark. As the plane descended and got closer to land, a mixture of nerves and excitement formed in your stomach.

The last time you felt so nervous, you won a Champions League title. You were scared but you did it anyways, and that’s what you’d have to do when meeting your teammates for the first time and then playing against Denmark with them.

Do it anyways.

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justpoliteconversations · 6 months

Text

Apple Merchant [BOTW!Link x Isekai!Reader] (Part 5)

You spend more money. And Link becomes a local legend.

I was intending on working on a different piece tonight, but the continuous notifications for Apple Merchant keeps reminding me of how much I want to write on it. And then the self-indulgent whispers start seeping into my brain and here we are. Enjoy your ill-gotten gains, Lurkers.

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

Alternate Extras: Embrace

Masterlist

TW: Choosing not to display warnings. Read at your own discretion.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Legend of Zelda franchise.

---

Lurelin village. A beautiful little coastal town southwest of Hateno with just the right amount of sun and water to make any would-be visitor green with envy. Except no one ever mentioned the humidity (enough to drown someone in their sleep, you swear by it), the lizalfos infestation (something the game got right in concept, but wrong in scale) and the sand. The Goddess forsaken sand. The damned (neverending, grit in your teeth, tears in your eyes, gravel in your lungs) sand that got into everything.

So, no, Lurelin was beautiful and you'd thought once that maybe you'd get a house there (or maybe just plan a vacation). But you'd quickly been rid of the notion the moment you'd stepped foot onto the warm, picturesque beachfront property. Taken a deep, appreciative breath of the fresh, salty air. And then was promptly tackled out of the way of an oncoming spear by Skims (bless that man) as Adino put a pair of arrows into a lizalfos' hissing, gaping maul.

The face full of sand you'd gotten after being pile-driven into the ground just added to the experience. In the worst way possible. It had taken days for your mouth to feel clean of the unpleasant grit of sand grains and your eyes to stop tearing and burning in irritation. If not for Skim's constant care and Adino forcibly holding your hands away from your face when the pain became too much, you could have walked away with far worse than bad memories and a new distaste for sand.

That was the day you decided Lurelin would not be a place you'd be spending any significant amount of time in. No matter how friendly the locals or tasty the food or beautiful the ocean views. It just wasn't worth it. Not to you, at least. Maybe in another lifetime, it would have been a dream to strive towards. But not here. Not now.

You still had moments of unease when you think of what could have happened had Skim's not been so close (as he's always been, and as you'll hopefully always have him). And those moments were more potent when you were in the small village. Keeping you ever on edge and always within sight of your trusted guards.

So, one might ask why you'd chosen to go to that very village when you could go anywhere in southern Hyrule. In fact, (in those whispering moments of weakness) you'd ask yourself that very same question. Especially as you trudged miserably through the thick, muggy afternoon heat with Adino at your back and Skims on point (who knows where Red went. but it wasn't your business and so you dismissed the thought entirely).

The answer? Shock arrows. An unholy amount of shock arrows. Enough to break the purse of the average merchant three times over. And possibly put their children in debt too. And possibly their horse.

It's a good thing you weren't a common merchant.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Mubs." You called in friendly greeting as you set foot onto the dock, casting away your (unease) irritation and slipping into your business persona effortlessly. "Fair weather on the seas I hope?"

Pleasantries were exchanged, the latest information traded (Adino was feigning irritation as he eavesdropped, but you could see the way his eyes and ears flickered with amusement and surprise at the appropriate times. Skims was window shopping, eyeing some of the more exotic fish with open curiosity) and you ended up selling several thousand rupees worth of product to the woman. Fresh produce mostly, but also quite a few ores. Such things were always in high demand in Lurelin. Ores especially, as most coastal deposits were notoriously difficult to mine with the lizalfos infestation so prominent.

More workers died mining along the beach than to storms out at sea. And that's a very unsettling thought, given the ratio of miners to sailors in a seafaring village (of all places). Crunch the numbers, and becoming a miner in Lurelin was equivalent to a death sentence. And the general population knew that.

(It explained why crime rates were so low in Lurelin, when mining was the manual labor criminals were made to do.)

Passing off the last of Mubs' purchase to her, you waited patiently for the woman to finish storing away her newly acquired goods before speaking. "I have a large order request." You said, letting a small, costumer service smile slip onto your lips. And maybe that kind of smile was something that transcended worlds, or maybe Mubs just knew you, but she immediately looked wary (by the way she narrowed her eyes, it was probably the former. maybe).

She gestured for you to continue, and you did with cool (pained) confidence. "I need as many shock arrows as you can afford to part with." She started to gesture towards her arrow display, but you shook your head and she paused. "I need below deck inventory. Everything you've got."

Her brows shot to her hairline, incredulous as she cautioned. "Quite the order. Surely not even The Apple Merchant would part with so much rupee." You kept your smile (even and blank and you were quietly screaming inside), and she sighed. "'Course you would." She sighed again, harder, wiping the sweat from her brow before gesturing for you to follow. "Come on then. Lets see if we can't break yer infamous smile a bit, ya?"

You kept that smile. All through the walk across the rickety old docks, the bustling harbor and straight down into the musty bowels of a weathered looking ship. One guarded by no less than five full grown men. All through the talks with the big boss you kept your lips steadily pleasant and upturned. Right on through the exchange of rupees (even Mubs looked ill at the quoted amount, casting you a questioning, pitying glance as she clicked her teeth), and all the way back to shore.

Right up until the moment you collapsed into your (extra, super soft, not for you Adino you prickly jerk) inn bed, rolled over so your back was to Adino and Skims (who looked expectant and amused and far too smug for your liking) and stared at the wall with that same smiling, blank expression.

And then, slowly. You put your face into the sinfully soft pillow. And screamed.

"Damnit Link! Why do you cost me so much money when you're not even here?"

Skims laughed with his entire belly at your outburst, and Adino smirked, hiding his face to the side as a few rouge chuckles escaped him.

A wordless, muffled bellow was all they got back in exchange.

---

Link stared at the truly mind-boggling number of shock arrows that'd appeared in his inventory. 6800, to be exact. Which to some may not seem like an especially outrageous number, but to Link (who usually found items in the single digits) it was a truly unfathomable number to comprehend, let alone contend with. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to take full advantage of his (thoughtful, kind, wond-) generous AM's meticulous foresight to destroy the local monster population. With feeling (so much intense, pent up feeling).

He'd take every ounce of his frustration (his blood boiling, fist clenching, teeth grinding anger) and pour it all into destroying his enemies. His worry at AM's absence from his side. His displeasure at Ms. Blue's condescending and secretive (and kind too, for all she was withholding information from him. information he'd bleed for) smiles.

And especially his rage at those Goddess forsaken, Ganon worshipping, traitorous Yiga who ruined his chance to thank AM properly for their presence in his life (because he doesn't know where he'd be if not for them. and honestly, he never wants to find out).

He'd take all those emotions and channel it into something productive. Something beneficially destructive.

So, destroy the monster population he did. And how generous of the Goddesses, to have brought him to a land of eternal rain to begin his crash course in violence-fueled stress relief. With shock arrows.

It is said amongst the general Zora population (the more outspoken poetic ones at least) that when the Returned Hero of Hyrule made his ascendance through the Domain, night became day and the land was cleansed of all things foul that would stand before him. A miracle in the flesh. He who brings the light and sun to the land of rain.

And really, they weren't wrong. For the most part.

But for those who saw this supposed miracle for themselves. They all had but one thought.

'Thank the Goddesses it's not me he's pissed at.'

---

Back to the shadows to rest.

#botw x reader #botw link #link x you #link x reader #isekai reader

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queenie-official · 16 days

Text

Part Three Of Summer Love: ‘Blurred Lines’

series masterlist celebration event camp logo

pairing: Modern!Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader

word count: 18k 😀

a/n: it’s 5:00 in the morning 💀 i’m so tired (proofread but i’m also so tired i probably missed a bunch)

“y/n?" Anakin's voice calls from beside you, his hand still outstretched in front of you as you stare down at it. he gives it a small shake waiting for you to take it.

you'd both just made it to the lodge hall, everyone else had already made it inside whilst you two had the discussion.

reality finally catching up with you as to just what this was going to entail. "you want me to hold your hand?" you ask in disbelief.

"i mean you don't have to, i just figured if we're gonna do the whole fake dating thing we might as well make it convincing." he says with a shrug, hand still waiting for you to take hold. you hadn't expected him to be so… eager?

his willingness for what's essentially going to be a public announcement to the entire camp was confusing. you'd still barely even discussed the details. how far was this to go? just hand-holding? who were you telling the lie to and who was allowed to know the truth?

your thoughts are cut off when you see his hand start to lower, you're quick to place your hand on top of his palm then. the questions pushed to the back of your mind as you’re unable to resist the chance to hold his hand.

did you come off too desperate? you started to question yourself, but the feeling of Anakin's calloused hands intertwining with yours was enough to silence any self-deprecating thoughts.

his hands were warm, and you found yourself staring at them. enjoying the way your hand looked in his. it was enough to distract you as he opened the doors tugging you gently along behind him.

slowly but surely more and more eyes were on you both as you walked to the food line. it came in waves, the whispers and points of fingers. you'd even heard a few 'i told you so's' not just from the campers but from some of your fellow counselors. which made you wonder just how far the rumor of you two dating had spread in less than a day. not that it mattered now.

Anankin's hand finally slipped from yours when he grabbed his tray, handing you one and pulling you back down from the cloud you'd felt like you were floating on. you mumbled a thanks before loading up your tray.

finally looking up and around the hall. you made direct eye contact with Padme who looked about ready to run over and tackle you to the ground in her excitement with questions. thankfully for your sake she didn't, letting you off the hook for now as you headed to your usual lunch table where a slack-jawed Kenobi and bewildered Rex sat.

as soon as you sat down you were both flooded with questions. both men's voices overlapping the other making it impossible to understand what they were saying. it's only when they both settle on the same question that you're left sitting in silence as they wait for your answer. "When did this happen!?" they'd asked, clearly already coming to the conclusion you two were now a thing.

you went to open your mouth and clear the air, with every intention of telling them the truth only to have the words die on your tongue as Anakin says "just now, on the way here" with a shrug of his shoulders.

you blink taken aback. he seemed to be doing that a lot to you within the last ten minutes since it started. it felt like a fever dream. "holy shit" Rex said in shock at Anakin's answer.

"i knew you liked her dude" he continues and you feel your head starting to spin, especially when Anakin doesn't deny it. this was way too much to process at once, but it's not like Anakin could deny it right? he'd agreed you two were a thing without a second thought.

you think back to the way he'd easily lied to Padme that first night when she'd asked what you'd been whispering about. maybe he was just a really good liar? maybe he'd explain to them the situation privately but didn't want to go into details in case he was overheard and then the ruse would be up just as quickly as it’d started. that seemed like the more logical explanation.

in that case you'd do the same, as soon as you and Padme were back at the cabin for the day you'd explain the situation to her but for now as far as anyone knew you and Anakin were officially a couple. what a day this was chalking up to be.

"i leave you two alone for five minutes and i miss everything!" Rex complains before going on a tangent about how from now on he was not being left alone with all the campers so he didn't miss anything else as important as that.

Ben remained silent, clearly taken aback and he looked unsure. like he knew something was up, Anakin was definitely going to be grilled later just as much as you probably were by Padme.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

the day blurred by fast, it hadn't even felt like you were present. truly an out-of-body experience. campers constantly coming up to you throughout different periods for confirmation on the status of your relationship- who knew kids were so interested in this stuff?

the camper most intrigued was Ahsoka, though she didn't show it at first. not asking a single question during her period with you guys in the crafts center like the other kids did, not even confronting Anakin to your knowledge.

nor did she confront you when you sat at the table together at dinner. even after Padme swarmed you with her own questions that you brushed off telling her you'd explain later.

no Ahsoka was too smart for that, she knew she wouldn't get any real information out of you that way, so she played the waiting game. looking for just the right moment to pounce, and sure enough when all the kids were either showering or brushing their teeth leaving you alone in the staff cabin room contemplating your life as Padme supervised the kids. Jasmine nowhere to be found after she'd dropped her kids off at the cabin. she made her move.

"is it true? you and Anakin are dating" the question pulled you from the hurricane that was your mind, turning towards the door where Ahsoka was walking in from.

you bit your lip unsure whether or not she should know the truth, she sat beside you on the bed narrowing her eyes; daring you to try and lie. no one ever talks about this but there is nothing more frightening than the judgment of a twelve-year-old girl. judgment that makes you cave instantly.

"no, we're just pretending." the truth comes out and you feel lighter, the room feeling just a smidge easier to breathe in. you look at Ahsoka gauging her reaction, she seemed disappointed. "we thought it'd be easier to just pretend we were rather than having to deny it constantly to everyone"

her nose wrinkles at the explanation like she'd just heard the most stupid thing ever. if she does think that she doesn't say it, just sighs instead before speaking up. "i figured, it seemed too good to be true. especially since i was the one who started the rumor" your mind went completely blank at the revelation, blinking rapidly.

she looks guilty, a small nervous smile on her face. "i know you guys said you weren't, but you just seemed so cute together! and Anakin seems to really like you- i just figured that if enough people were saying you were together you'd both realize your feelings and confess" oh this sweet mischievous child.

"i mean i've had him as my counselor two summers in a row now and i'm telling you i've never seen him act the same way he does with you with Padme. he says he likes her but i don't think he really does. i think he just found her beautiful and was infatuated with her" she continued to ramble, defending her actions and you had to give her some credit she was extremely emotionally intelligent. but way off.

sure he was a little touchy with you lately, prior to the hand-holding at lunch today. and yeah he joked around a lot but you worked at the same activity center. you were bound to be close- and as for the physical affection he just seemed like a touchy guy. he hugged and roughhoused around with Ben and Rex all the time.

he was just too nervous to do all of that with Padme is all and you don't blame him, you'd be nervous too if you were pinning after her. Padme was a gorgeous person inside and out. she was smart and independent, honestly if Anakin hadn't somehow managed to wedge his way into your mind so quickly, you probably would have had a crush on her too.

Ahsoka could see it on your face, the disbelief in her assessment. "if you and Anakin are just pretending why bother actually acting like a proper couple then?"

"hand holding hardly counts as acting like a proper couple Ahsoka" you laugh and she huffs in annoyance.

"stage one, denial" she says with a shake of her head. gods if this was how Ahsoka was acting you could already guess how Padme was going to be.

"shouldn't you be getting ready for bed?" you change the subject and Ahsoka relents, mumbling a 'we'll see who's right' under breath as she leaves.

you weren't in denial, what'd she know she was twelve for gods sake. you fall backwards on the bed with a groan. once more Padme took care of the kids getting them all to settle down for the day and giving them the usual 'you have an hour before bed' spiel.

as soon as she was done she came into the room. you could have sworn all you did was blink and she was hovering above you. "spill everything" she says excitedly and for a split second you consider keeping up the lie knowing the truth was only going to disappoint her as much as it did you.

but you couldn't willingly lie to Padme especially when you'd confessed to a literal kid not even a few minutes prior, so instead you suck up what remains of your dignity and go over everything that happened leading up to lunch.

she has her brows raised, a similar face to Ahsoka's earlier. "wow you two are doing everything except admitting you like each other aren't you" you roll your eyes, knowing this was coming.

"ive admitted it to you" she purses her lips and gives you a deadpanned look.

"yea to me not to Anakin" you groan rubbing your face with your hands in frustration.

"he doesn't like me he likes-" she cuts you off, with an exasperated sigh.

"-me i know, i know, so you've said a thousand times but what on earth has happened lately that says in any way he likes me like that anymore?" her question irks you, not because it was necessarily annoying but because it was unfortunately a valid point.

"i don't know Padme i don't pretend to understand the male mind" she shrugs with a soft fair enough and falls back beside you.

"maybe you're right, maybe he doesn't like you." she starts and you feel yourself grimace realizing just how much it was going to hurt when you called off the fake dating thing at the end of the summer. "but there's also a chance that i'm correct so stop ruling it out and acting like it's a definitive fact."

but it was, how much clearer could it be when he said so himself? you tune her out at this point tired from the day's events and even more so from the constant back and forth. you felt a sense of relief knowing you wouldn't have to fight back to anyone else about how you two weren't dating, making you realize just why Anakin had suggested it in the first place.

it was so much easier to pretend than to constantly have to deny something you two weren't. or so you had convinced yourself.

eventually, Padme let you be; heading to the top bunk to chill until lights out. you sigh truly a jumbled mess as you move to lay on your stomach, opening your phone to text Honey. whoever said in the eye of a hurricane there is quiet for just a moment was a liar- or you'd yet to reach that brief moment of respite.

'Honeeeyyyy' you send just to get your best friends attention, it was time to let every thought out of your mind and Honey was the one person you knew would listen to every single one. yes she would tell you how it is if she felt the need to but she'd always let you speak your truth first.

unfortunately for you, there was no answer not even five minutes later as you swiped back and forth from her message chat and your home screen. which could only mean two things, her phone was dead or she was busy with her family and didn't wanna come off rude by taking out her phone and messaging you. just your luck.

you sigh before typing a message anyway, deciding to just get everything off your chest now and then she can answer back later when she was free. it's not until you send '(so sorry to be putting this on you out of no where) - me and Anakin are fake dating 😀 we talked about how the campers wouldn't stop bothering us so he suggested we do it to get them to stop and i agreed 😭' that the chat was instantly opened.

a text bubble immediately appearing and sent within the blink of an eye. 'WHAAATTT!?' you couldn't help but laugh, you suppose if she'd been the one to send something like that you'd have reacted the same way.

you continued to explain the situation giving her all the details leading up to where you were now before she responds again. 'not you living out a romance trope'

'it seemed like a good idea when i agreed 😭' you type back, not that you were currently having doubts. 'it's purely platonic'

'my ass, in what world are we living in where this is going to go the strictly platonic route 🤨' fair honestly, you couldn't even entirely believe this was the reality you were living in. 'we're both aware this means he 100% likes you back right? i mean who fake dates someone when they have feelings for someone else.'

of course she said that, that is now three different people who've all separately told you this. 'maybe he's trying to make Padme jealous?' it was a sad attempt at an excuse and you both knew it. Anakin and you strictly did this to get the campers off your backs, there were no alterior motives involved.

if there were you never would of agreed to it, and even if you had it would not have the effect on Padme he'd think it would if that were the case. she harbored no feelings for him that much was clear. 'y/n, my love. i need you to be so fr with me rn girl 🙏😐'

okay maybe Ahsoka was right about you being in denial. but denial was good, denial was safe. it meant if everyone else was wrong and he didn't like you you'd have no reason to be upset when you already knew the truth. 'look i'm sure this whole thing will blow over once the gossip dials down between the campers and Anakin will call it off'

'whatever helps you sleep at night' was the last message you read from her before shutting off your phone. smooshing your face into the pillow wanting nothing more than to scream.

you look back up when you hear your phone ping a few minutes later, your heart flutters in your chest when you see it's a text from Anakin.

you decided you’re too emotionally drained to give him much attention so rather than opening your phone to respond you just unlock it and read the notification box 'Ben and Rex know the truth' you let out a sigh of relief- or maybe disappointment.

it was just like you thought earlier he just didn't want to give it away to the campers that you both were faking it. you turn your phone back off again, mind empty unsure how to feel. there's the quiet. the eye of the storm you finally made it.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

you woke up the next day without having realized you'd even fallen asleep to begin with. a small voice calling your name from beside you. when you finally open your eyes, the sunlight blinding you as it poured through the window successfully disorienting you further as you tried to recognize who was speaking to you at that moment.

"y/n" the small voice called again, this time you sat up before you opened your eyes. avoiding the bright rays of the sun as you adjusted to the room around you. once you could see properly you turn to your side seeing Mia standing at the side of the bed waiting for you to answer.

you blink a few times confused, looking up to the bunk bed across from you only to find it completely empty. your eyes fall back down to Mia. "is everything okay?" the young girl shakes her head.

"i don't know where Jasmine is" she says sounding worried. had Jasmine even come back to the cabin last night? you kept that question to yourself as you stared at the camper from Jasmine's group.

"that's okay, i'm sure she'll show up. is there something you need from her that i could help you with?" you offer trying your best to reassure her.

"she usually braids my hair for the day, Quinn said she could do it but she only knows how to do the one with three strands" you nod pulling yourself off the bed and stretching.

"i can help you, bring me your brush and hair elastic" the little girl smiles happily, skipping out of the room to go find just that. you look up to the bed above yours. Padme wasn't in bed either, not entirely strange since she always woke up before you but something felt off.

you aren't able to dwell on it as Mia comes back in the room with everything you need to do her hair. you brush her hair before doing your best to evenly part it down the middle with your fingers. working on one side and doing a fishtail braid before moving to the other. tying off the ends with the green elastics she's brought you.

Mia gives you an excited thank you before skipping off to join the rest of the kids in the other room just as Padme enters, closing the door behind her. "we have a situation" she whispers so none of the kids would overhear.

your brows crease together in concern. "what's wrong?" Padme looks over to Jasmine's bed and you feel your stomach start to swirl.

"she never came back to the cabin last night after curfew. no one's seen her this morning either. i already messaged around the camp, i even tried messaging her myself but she hasn't answered." so much for emergencies not being a common occurrence here.

"has anyone reported her missing to the directors yet?" you ask, walking over to the bed to grab your phone. when you checked the time you noticed it was almost time to head over to the lodge hall for breakfast. you press your lips together into a thin line before turning back to Padme.

"i told Ben and he messaged them. they sent a text to all the counselors to continue the day like normal for now and they'd have an announcement on what was going to happen before breakfast was over" you sigh rubbing the back of your neck with your hand.

"alright, i'm going to get dressed then and we can head out" Padme nods and leaves the room taking responsibility to talk to the kids.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

As you all walk to the lodge hall in one big group you hear the kids whispering amongst themselves about Jasmine. Padme hadn't told them the entire truth, simply saying that Jasmine wasn't with us right now and until she was back her group of kids were to come to us for help if they needed it.

it was clear they didn't believe her though and you were pretty confident that you just overheard one of the younger campers, Jason whisper to one of the older campers, Lily that he'd overheard Padme outside earlier on the phone saying to someone that Jasmine was missing.

"y/n?" you turn to the familiar voice meeting the eyes of Colton who stares up at you worriedly.

"you alright buddy?" you ask him and he shakes his head no. he mumbles a response but it was hard to hear him over the other kids. when he realizes you weren't able to make out what he said he raises his voice just a smidge more and this time you could hear him say 'i'm scared'. he seemed unsure of his words.

you give him a sympathetic smile sticking out your hand for him to take, he doesn't hesitate for once. taking it and simultaneously gluing himself to your side as you walk. poor kid was definitely worked up about this situation.

you let him stay with you even as you walk through the food line once you all get to the hall. you're internally debating whether to sit with him or have him sit with you as you stare at the table where the boys are at. thankfully he makes the decision for you. "can i sit with you guys today?" he asks shyly.

you give him a reassuring smile and nod as you both walk over to what has become your designated table. "and who's this?" Rex asks as soon as Colton sits beside you.

Anakin, who for once looked wide awake, turned to see who Rex was referring to. "hey Colton" he holds his hand out to the boy for a first bump. Colton shies away from all the attention but still shakily bumps Anakin's fist with his own.

"he wanted to sit with us today" you smile giving the little boy a gentle pat on the shoulder for encouragement as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. he still doesn't say anything but gives a small nod of agreement before focusing on his food to eat after moving his noise-canceling headphones from his neck to over his ears as the noise from the cafeteria becomes overwhelming.

you turn towards your friends as Colton stays in his own little bubble, content to just sit beside you all. "you seem wide awake for once" you tease Anakin who rolls his eyes in faux annoyance.

"how much can he hear with those on" Rex asks through a mouthful of eggs. you scrunch up your nose in disgust fighting back the urge to gag.

"gross Rex didn't your mom teach you not to talk with your mouth full" he just shrugs unbothered before shoving a piece of bacon in his mouth as well.

"you have the manners of a billy goat you know that?" Ben quips from beside him, shaking his head like a disappointed father. to which Rex almost flips him off but catches himself when he remembers there’s a camper present.

you laugh completely caught off guard by how specific the insult was. before finally answering Rex's initial question "he can hear us just fine if that's what you're wondering"

taking a bite of your food as he nodded not saying anything else, he must have wanted to talk about the Jasmine situation just not in front of Colton. you were internally grateful for him choosing to drop it, not wanting to freak Colton out anymore than he already was.

you let your mind wander as Rex talks to you all about something funny one of his campers did the other night. it's not that you didn't want to listen to Rex just that it was much harder to focus when you had the burning curiosity about where your cabinmate had disappeared too and an unsure feeling in your stomach.

as much as Jasmine was irrefutably a bitch, she was still a living being and you hoped she was okay. the worry must have shown on your face because you suddenly felt Anakin's hand on your leg, it's a miracle you don't jump at the sudden touch. his hand rubbing soothing circles on your knee, the action hidden completely by the table.

you feel your cheeks start to burn as goosebumps spread all over your body, such a simple thing and yet you feel like you're back in high school again. it was a welcome distraction, and shockingly effective as you felt the tension in your shoulders melt away. worries fading into something else. something warm and fuzzy.

it was scary in a way, just how fast you were falling with each small action of his. god you dreaded when this would be over, can your heart even take it?

there's a call from the front of the hall. Windu, Bail, and Qui-Gon all stood in a line waiting for everyone's attention. when it's finally quiet enough for them to talk Windu steps forward.

the tall brooding man looking more stern than usual as he began to speak. "Alright everyone we have a few updates for you all, for starters i'm sure a lot of you have heard that one of the Counselors has gone missing." he walks slowly back and forth as he talks, making sure to look across everyone.

"well the good news is we've made contact with her and she is safe." there are a few relieved sighs heard around the room but for the most part everyone just remains silent or gives a shrug of their shoulders. "however we would like to take this as a reminder that you are not allowed off of campgrounds without permission especially if you are on duty. you have a responsibility to your fellow staff members and the Campers you're looking after."

he comes to a stop in the middle of the room, leaving a small pause in his speech to let his words sit in. "now i won't go into any more details but for the remainder of the day we'll be having one of the swing counselors take over for the missing counselor's kids. so please continue business as usual."

with the lecture out of the way, Qui-Gon steps up and gives a much more encouraging message, mostly just to lift up the spirits. Bail chipping in every once in a while with a joke before the three of them made the synchronized closing statement to 'have a good day'.

it all seemed to help Colton calm down at least though the question still remained of where the hell Jasmine was. "do you think you could get the details Windu was so forthcoming about?" Anakin asked somewhat sarcastically to Ben who simply shrugged.

"probably not from Windu but i'll check in with Jinn before i head to my activity center" Ben says before tossing a piece of kiwi in his mouth from the small assortment of mixed fruit on his tray, to which Anakin responds by stealing one of the cherries to eat for himself.

"i thought you don't like eating this early?" you question him with a raised brow. Anakin shrugs, biting the cherry off the stem and eating it before putting the stem in his mouth.

your brows crease together in utter confusion before he pulls the stem out of his mouth, a knot now directly in the middle of it that you can't seem to look away from as he speaks. "today’s different, i've been up way earlier than usual." you just give him a small hum turning away from him and looking down at your plate.

feeling much too hot, between his hand that still remained on your knee and how casually he knotted that cherry stem you felt dizzy. you spare a glance at Ben and Rex to see if they saw how suddenly flustered you seemed. thankfully both men were too busy conversing with each other to notice.

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it's not until lunch that you guys get an answer for what happened to Jasmine, the woman in question still not back on campgrounds. "i was going to just send a text when i found out but figured it’d be easier if i just waited till now" Ben said as everyone walked in line together. trays in hand, as you all slowly loaded up your trays with your personal food preferences.

somehow Padme and Ben got to the lodge hall at the same time you, Rex, and Anakin did, usually one of you always managed to beat the other group. the campers almost never allowing you to leave at the same time. "so what'd you find out?" you ask while grabbing one of the pre-wrapped sandwiches.

"it's…i'll tell you all when we sit down" fair the other counselors were in line with you guys and this information wasn't supposed to even be known outside of the camp directors.

"did you already tell Padme?" you ask while, nudging your head in her direction. she somehow managed to get ahead of you all by three people.

"yea, i told her before the campers even got to the zipline first period" you nodded wondering silently if that's why her mood seemed sour. she was upset earlier but it was more worry and annoyance, now she just seemed straight-up angry. Veiled very thinly by her usual calm aura.

you stick your hand into the next bin without really looking only to come out empty-handed. a frown now gracing your features as you realize they had run out of pudding cups.

you give a disappointed sigh and grab one of the jello cups in the bin next to it, you had nothing against jello other than the texture so it's not like this was a big deal you'd just gotten used to a routine and unfortunately set yourself up for disappointment when doing so. wouldn't be the first time you did that and certainly won't be the last.

you make your way out of the line to your usual table alongside the boys. and when you finally sit down you don't get much time to mope before Anakin takes the jello cup off of your tray and exchanges it with the last pudding cup his pudding cup.

"you don't want it?" you tilt your head at him and he gives a nonchalant shrug.

"i like these better anyway" bullshit, you'd never seen him grab the jello cups and you could read it on Ben's face that he didn't believe a word Anakin was saying either.

"it's fine i don't want it" you insist and he scrunches his nose up as you try to put it back on his tray, swatting your hand away before you succeed.

"what'd you find out Kenobi?" Anakin asks changing the subject before you can protest again.

"other than you being an absolute sap when you're actually into a girl you mean?" Ben teases and you want to remind him once again that you're fake dating, as if he doesn't know- but the blush on Anakin's cheeks stops you.

it's gone before you can even process whether you were imagining it or not as Anakin rolls his eyes. "Jasmine, what'd you find out about her Ben" he says before taking an annoyed bite of his sandwich.

"right, so Jinn didn't tell me the exact timeline of events but what i've got is that she snuck off sometime last night and left camp to go hang out with some friends" you chime in quickly when you remember her not being in the room the night before.

"she walked the kids to the cabin after dinner and then left me and Padme alone with them. that must have been when" Ben nods seemingly remembering that Padme had said something similar to him when he told her.

"right well turns out her and the group she was with got caught drinking and driving, half of them are underage too. they were all detained and a few of them are being faced with charges" alright well that's certainly not what you were expecting, not that you were entirely sure what to expect.

"no way! is she one of the ones facing charges?" Rex asks in just as much shock and confusion as you, Ben shakes his head no.

"but she's definitely facing repercussions here. they want to fire her" it made sense after all if parents found out they'd throw a fit, rightfully so. you'd be upset too if you found out someone who's responsible for your kid was caught drinking instead of looking after them.

"what's stopping them?" you ask and this time Ben shrugs completely unsure. it's not like the camp was understaffed in any way, there was no real reason you could think of for why they'd keep her on.

"they're probably still discussing everything with the higher-ups" Ben concludes, finally digging into his food as he lets the information sit in.

"she'll probably be fired by the end of the day, i can't see this being swept under the rug the same way last year's incident was. sure no one spoke up then but really there's no way they didn't catch wind of the situation." Rex says in between sips of water.

"well she certainly found one of the quickest routes to get out of being a camp counselor" Anakin says, still unable to handle serious moments without making jokes.

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sure enough that night after dinner you and Padme had come back to Jasmine's side of the room completely cleared out. Opal the swing counselor who took over for her all day was there instead, unpacking a bag clearly being promoted to a full-time counselor.

the first thing you'd noticed about Opal was her height. you could tell she was tall earlier from afar but seeing up close was a little jarring. she practically towered over both you and Padme, the legs of a model Padme had said and you couldn't agree more. She was stunning honestly, with curly copper red hair like fire that framed her face, and pale freckled skin.

she turned to you both with a smile on her face as she introduced herself. "hey i'm Opal" it was more so directed towards you than Padme. a small reminder that you were the only new staff member, although they didn't know each other personally they knew of each other.

"y/n" you greet, mirroring the smile on her face and extending your hand which she promptly shakes. there's a small awkward silence that follows over you three, the sound of all the kids in the room besides yours providing a comforting ambience.

"is it too much to bring up the obvious elephant in the room…. or rather the lack of" Opal says while scratching the back of her neck and you can't help but snort, which leads to Padme giggling and sure enough all three of you are laughing together.

her comment broke the ice for sure, the three of you sitting on the lower bunks now just chatting- mostly shit-talking Jasmine but that helped lead to more basic getting-to-know-you questions. you're not sure when or how the topic eventually got to Anakin but you were suddenly wishing to be anywhere but in that room.

"so seriously how'd you get together? you two are seriously the cutest couple ever!" Opal's excitement for you was infectious and god did it make you feel guilty. Padme gave you a quick look, one that only the two of you would understand. the question of if you'd be telling Opal the truth or not hidden behind her amused smile.

"oh you know… it wasn't all that special- we just realized we both liked each other and" you make a clicking sound whilst intertwining your hands and Opal nods seeming to understand what you were trying to say.

"that makes sense, you know pretty much everyone was waiting for it to happen. i think some of the other counselors even had bets going" you couldn't hide the shock on your face and the way your brows shot up. sure the speculation made sense to some degree after the rumor Ahsoka started but she said it like they'd all been thinking it long before that rumor started.

"what made you guys think we were into each other? i mean besides the fact that we obviously were- since we're dating and all…" you give a strained smile feeling very much like an idiot for asking that. not to mention how terrible of a save that was, you could only hope she didn't see through that shitty recovery.

"i think how quickly you guys got close is what started it. then of course when he started showing up to breakfast for you that pretty much had everyone locked in on the fact he was into you. and we all saw how you look at him so it was no secret the feelings were mutual" oh you were going to throw up- they all saw the way you looked at him!?

here you were thinking you'd been discreet when clearly the only person who didn't notice was the very man you'd been ogling. you bite back the urge to freak out and put a smile back on your face. "oh right" you give a forced laugh, picking at the lint on your blanket.

did people really think he started going to breakfast for you? that wasn't the case at all, although now that you thought about it you never did truly question it- why had he started going to breakfast? surely it was something Padme related… but he always sits with you so maybe..

"Theo just threw up!" Quinn said slightly out of breath as she ran into the room, completely interrupting your thoughts. the three of you are all on your feet instantly, rushing into the connected room confused about how you would have missed hearing that.

Theo was stood in front of a pile of vomit shaking, his body probably still calming down from the adrenaline spike. he looked mortified the poor kid, you push past your weak stomach and go to stand next to him rubbing his back gently. "hey buddy let's go get you cleaned up okay? and then i'll walk you to the camp infirmary" Theo nods as tears begin to well in his eyes while you guide him out of the room.

you hear Padme telling all the other kids to go back to what they were doing while her and Opal clean up just as you're leaving the room and walking to the bathrooms. you help clean off his face and then his shirt which thankfully didn't get much vomit on it compared to the floor.

Theo is looking off to the side as you continue to wipe the shirt as best you can, avoiding eye contact from embarrassment. you can't help but sympathize with him, honestly throwing up in front of everyone was one of your biggest fears when you were in school. "you alright bud?" he gives a small nod.

"you don't have to be embarrassed it happens to the best of us you know" he doesn't say anything so you just give him a sympathetic smile before deciding to share an embarrassing story of your own.

"you know, one time when i was your age i really had to use the bathroom. but i hated using public restrooms." you begin, standing up and tossing the paper towel in the trash on the way out of the bathroom.

"so i held it as long as i could which apparently wasn't that long at all because i ended up peeing myself about an hour later." Theo's eyes widened, his head whipping towards yours in surprise.

"no way! at school!?" you can only nod the embarrassment still there even after all these years.

"oh yeah, worst day of my life. i thought id be made fun of for the rest of eternity after that. thankfully everyone moved on- i mean i did get teased a little but not nearly as much as id thought i would" maybe you should of left that part out, that would not ease your worries if you were him.

he doesn't seem to care though, just happy to have a less embarrassing story to compare his to. he still looks pale, his hand resting on his stomach which is still bothering him but at least he's in higher spirits.

you're about halfway to the infirmary when you hear someone call your name from behind you. when you look back you see Anakin jogging towards you, a concerned look on his face. "hey what're you doing out here this late?" your question makes his lips twitch up into a smile.

"i could ask you the same thing" he throws back and looks down to the camper beside you, when he sees how pale the kid is he gestures to continue walking. "i usually go for a walk around campgrounds before heading in for the night. Ben and Jacob can handle the kids without me" he says with a shrug as he answers your question.

"it's nice, usually quiet since pretty much everyone else is inside" he looks down to Theo again putting on a sympathetic look. "everything alright with you kid?" Theo shakes his head, giving a defeated sigh as he slumped forward.

"no i threw up in front of everyone" Anakin's brows crease in concern but he also takes one step back. you have to physically bite your tongue not to laugh.

"aw man i'm sorry that must of sucked" Theo nods and places both his hands over his stomach and mumbles 'i think i might again' and this time you take a step back as well. being vomited on by a kid is not a story you want to go home and tell Honey about.

"alright try and hold it in until we get inside the infirmary; but if you can't, run to the grass" the shaky thumbs up he gives you wasn't exactly reassuring and not even a few seconds later he's running off the trail to the grass and spilling his guts.

you turn away completely unable to handle the view without feeling queasy yourself. you can see Anakin grimace as he watches the two of you. he walks over to the kid for you clearly having a much stronger stomach as he rubs his back. "there ya go just get it all out" you hear him say from behind you followed by a mumbled "dude..what did you eat".

you turn back to them once he stops, eyes locked on Theo. he's once again shaking pretty bad from the adrenaline, you wish you had been more help right then.

"do you want me to walk him the rest of the way?" your eyes flicker up to Anakin's upon hearing his question. "i don't mind, plus it looks like he might need to throw up again" you couldn't ask that of him, this was one of your campers- well Opal's now but you'd been the one to say you'd bring him so you needed to be the one to do it.

"go back to your cabin y/n, i've got it" it wasn't a question this time, authoritative honestly. "if they send him back i'll walk him over to you guys, but i doubt it with the state he's in. they'll probably have him there for the night to watch over him."

you're about to protest and verbalize your thoughts when he speaks again, already starting to walk away with Theo in tow. "it's fine y/n relax, go before i call Padme and force her to come grab you" you huff crossing your arms and he just smiles, walking backwards now so he can look at you better.

"you're gonna fall if you keep walking like that Skywalker" you tease, somewhat hoping he does trip just to say 'i told you so' but he doesn't. just shrugs before sending you a wink and turning back around.

you feel your cheeks burn as they walk away, did that wink actually mean something or was it just friendly? there was no one else around for it to have to mean more- no one to pretend around besides Theo. that little boy was much more preoccupied with his nausea to care though.

you shake the thoughts from your head, spinning on your heel and heading back to the Naboo cabin.

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the next day proceeded relatively normal, Theo did end up having to stay in the infirmary overnight and the nurse said they were going to keep him there for the day to make sure he was truly okay before sending him back.

the only real difference was now learning to navigate your usual morning routine with a third party. don't get it twisted Opal was easy to get along with, you just weren't used to having such an active counselor working alongside you two.

it was refreshing and unusual in a good way. it made getting ready and having the kids ready at the same time a lot easier. sure Jasmine wasn't the worst at helping with the kids but honestly she did the bare minimum so to have someone going out of their way to help was definitely a welcome change.

"hey y/n?" you turn towards Opal as you all walk towards the lodge hall for breakfast. she's tying her hair back with a silk scrunchy as she speaks. "umm you're friends with Rex right?" there's a small blush growing on her pale cheeks and you can't help the smile growing on yours.

"yeah we're pretty close why?" she lets her hands fall to her side, patting the sides of her thighs as she thinks about how she wants to word her next sentence. you're instantly drawn in, standing side by side with her now.

"is he you know… seeing anyone?" she seems unsure with her question, like that wasn't the right one she wanted to ask. you smile, shaking your head no.

"you should sit at my table today, where do you usually sit?" Opal's face turns red enough to rival the color of her hair.

"oh no i can't i-" she clears her throat, wiping what you could only assume were now sweaty palms onto the jean shorts she had on. "i usually sit with my friends or well acquaintances i guess? we're close but like we never talk outside of camp."

you give a teasing smile as you enter the lodge hall, and she folds in on herself. which looked seriously awkward for a girl as tall as herself, but it was cute. "oh come on it'll be fun, you can sit next to me if it's sitting next to Rex you're worried about"

if you could take a picture of the look on her face rn you would print it out and frame it. "thanks for the offer i'm good" it was almost robotic and mixed with stutters as she spoke. you gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder, which was a bit of a feat with how tall she was but you got it in the end.

"alright but the offer will stay open" she gives you a soft 'thanks' before walking off to her friends table completely skipping the breakfast line. you were a little concerned until you saw one of the girls at her table hand her their chocolate muffin.

as soon as your tray is full you head towards your table, taking the rightful seat beside Anakin- who seems to be back to his usual display of exhaustion. "that didn't last long did it" you snort, nudging the boy with your elbow. he simply grumbles, words so slurred together you can't make out what he is attempting to say at all.

"he'll be alright" Rex said with a shrug once again talking with his mouth full, yeah you definitely couldn't see the appeal here but good for Opal.

"so Anakin says you got a sick camper?" Ben asks curious for more details, you could only guess Anakin had mentioned the situation in passing before he crashed for the night or perhaps on the way to breakfast in his hazy state.

"yea one of Jas- Opal's campers, poor kid was vomiting repeatedly. they're keeping him there till they're sure he's okay." Ben cringes suddenly wishing he hadn't asked as he looked down at his food. the oatmeal he'd chosen not feeling like the best choice he could have gone with.

"sorry…" he simply waves you off before shoving the bowl of oatmeal to the side and sticking with the bowl of mixed fruits. your eyes locked onto one of the cherries in the bowl, thinking back to what Anakin had done yesterday morning. you kinda wished he was more awake just so you could see him do it again.

you shake the thought from your head not before sparing a small glance at Anakin, he was as usual half asleep. his eyes closed as he leaned on his palm the only indication that he was awake was the lack of snores. he looked so pretty, and peaceful.

there's a small kick from under the table that pulls you back to reality, a knowing smile on Rex and Ben's face… maybe that small glance was a lot longer than you'd thought.

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"this is a terrible idea" Rex grumbles while fumbling with the threads of his friendship bracelet- or well what is supposed to be one. he still hasn't gotten the hang of it, and in his defense, you'd all decided against having the campers do it since he and Anakin couldn't figure it out during staff week.

however, Ahsoka had offhandedly mentioned wanting to make some for the friends she made at camp and you figured that since you knew how to make it everything would work out. so here you were right before all the campers arrived for the first period trying to teach both of them how to make the more simple design so that if they were asked for help they could give it.

"come on Rex it's not that hard" you continue to weave the strings in the right pattern as he watches trying desperately to figure out how you were doing it. "even Anakin's figured it out now"

this time Rex scoffs "that's because he doesn't have sausage fingers like i do" he wasn't wrong, Anakin and Rex's hands were equally as big but Rex's fingers were thick. almost to the point they looked swollen which was definitely not helping him keep hold of the strings.

"well two out of three of us can do it, that should be enough" Anakin said while tying off his bracelet the way you'd shown him. it was light blue and gold, and surprisingly as good as yours.

Rex sighs throwing his pile of knotted strings to the side. "i'm over it, you two can take care of everything today i'll just make sure all the materials are out and not being misused" he stands up heading to sit on a stool in the middle of the room before the kids arrived.

"here" you turn to Anakin who has his bracelet extended towards you.

"you're giving it to me?" he chuckles, gently grabbing your arm and pulling it towards him so he can slide the bracelet over your hand and tighten it to your wrist.

"Yeah why not, they're friendship bracelets right? it'd be weird to make them for ourselves" you look down at it on your wrist, unable to stop the smile before looking down at your own.

"mines pink and gold… i can make a different one-" he cuts you off by sticking his hand out to you.

"no i like that one go ahead" you stare at him for a moment, slightly dumbfounded as you distinctly remember him saying he hated the color pink when you'd mentioned it was one of your favorite colors.

nevertheless you oblige, sliding it over his large hand and tightening it on his wrist just like he'd down for you. you stick the hand with his bracelet out next to the one with yours and smile. "look we made them match on accident"

"alright lovebirds let's go the kids are coming in" Rex interrupts the moment between you too as groups of kids start filing in. you flush and walk over to the front of the room ready to begin the day.

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Ahsoka clocked the matching bracelets on you and Anakin's wrists immediately. she even chose to sit directly next to you at your table for once instead of Anakin's just to quiz you.

or maybe torment you was the better word "oh come on how can you still deny he likes you y/n, he made you a matching bracelet!" she whisper shouts at you and you're forever grateful that Anakin is busy helping a girl from his cabin, Chloe, who's sat on the opposite side of the room.

"they're friendship bracelets Ahsoka- Friendship is in the name. you gave me one for goodness sake" the young girl groans frustratedly at you, running her hands through her black hair. you pointedly shake your wrist in front of her, the bracelet she'd given you on display with a few from the other campers that had been given to you throughout the day.

"that's different" this time you groan frustratedly, running a hand tiredly over your face. "look i didn't just give you one, i gave Colton one, i gave Mia one, i gave Rex one and Anakin one- i even made one to give to Ben and Padme!" you stare at her with a raised brow letting out a soft 'okaaaay'.

"Anakin only made you one, he hasn't made Ben or Rex- or padme one" she put some emphasis on Padme's name that had you rolling your eyes.

"we're adults we don't make friendship bracelets for all our friends" she deadpans before looking straight at the pile of friendship bracelets at your side that you did in fact make for all of your friends. "i'm an outlier!" you defend yourself and she huffs deferred but not defeated.

"alright guys we should probably start cleaning up if we want to make it to the lodge hall for dinner first" Rex calls from where he's sat. he'd been stationed on the stool all day with self-imposed string-cutting duty. a few kids had asked him for help throughout each period only to quickly realize why he wasn't teaching them shortly after.

there was a bunch of disappointed voices as they all started complaining, which was how it'd gone all day with each period. none of the kids wanting to stop or just whining if they hadn't finished the bracelet they were working on. "yea, yea we know but if you really want we can just do this again the day after tomorrow." this only elicited more complaints, some of the kids confused on why they couldn't do it tomorrow.

"you complain now but you'll have fun tomorrow it's Canoe day" tomorrow all activities centers would be shut down for the day, and everyone in the camp would be out on the lake in groups of 2-4. it was supposed to be a fun little water day activity for everyone since you didn't have to stick with your specific periods.

the lake was closed off at a certain point with rope floaters so that no one went past it. this way the kids could go on their own canoe without staff members if they wanted. there was even a cookout and bonfire later in the evening where everyone could roast smores.

it was a camp tradition and you were excited to participate in it. "alright you guys heard Rex come on let's clean up" they don't protest as much when you're the one saying it which makes you smile and Rex complained about how 'unfair it is' and that 'they favorite you'.

you play with the bracelets in your hand while looking down at the one on your right wrist. the one Anakin gave you. would he think it was odd you put all the other bracelets the campers gave you on the opposite wrist? you'd seen him get a few bracelets from the kids as well but he hadn't put them on. which honestly was more odd than what you were doing.

"hey i've got a question for you" Anakin pulls your attention, placing his arm over your shoulder as he walks with you and everyone else to the lodge hall. he pulls you close to him, creating a small private bubble for just the two of you as he speaks. it's overwhelming in a way, his cologne wafting into your nostrils from how close you were.

"the floor is yours" you say and had he not been holding onto you, you'd have done a dramatic bow.

"you remember how i said i liked to go for walks after dinner?" you nod and he continues "well i was wondering if you wanted to join me, it could be fun" you raise a brow at him confused and unsure as to why he'd want that.

"it will really sell it for the rest of the camp that we're dating" he adds when you don't answer back immediately. right that made sense plus well you guys were proper friends now, it made sense for you both to hang out one-on-one.

"yea sure that sounds fun" he gives you a bright cheesy grin before letting his arm slip off your shoulder. his touch leaving you only briefly before he's placing his hand on the small of your back instead.

it makes your cheeks burn, you have to fight every cell in your body to not shy away. Anakin doesn't seem to notice or at the very least care, you shouldn't be surprised by that anymore though.

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you spent the entirety of dinner thinking about Anakin's hand on your back instead of paying attention to the conversation Padme and Opal were having beside you, as well as ignoring the way Ahsoka lifted Colton's headphones to whisper to him, probably about you and Anakin judging by the way she kept glancing at you throughout the conversation from directly across you.

Padme finally asks you what's going on after you've all walked back to Naboo cabin for the day. the kids all settling in and giving a warm welcome back to Theo who was no longer a sickly pale color.

"you've been out of it since you sat down with us at dinner, is everything alright?" she pulled you aside from everyone, including Opal in hopes she could get some actual answers.

"yeah i'm fine just sorta been lost in thought" daydreaming more like- she gives you a look and you just smile nervously, cheeks burning in embarrassment as she sees right through you.

she looks ready to push further but gets interrupted when your phone buzzes in your pocket. it's Anakin letting you know he was outside the cabin waiting for you. you look up meeting Padme's face, she's got a smug smile having seen the message that he sent.

"it's not what you think" you begin to defend and she just looks even more smug somehow. "no seriously Padme this is purely a platonic hang out" she throws her hands up while taking a few steps back.

"i didn't say anything" she laughs and you glare at her. there was no real malice behind it of course, you both knew that… but if looks could kill. 'your face says it all' you mumble and she sticks her tongue out at you. "go hang out with your boyfriend y/n, he's waiting" she practically sings it and you wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole.

"fake boyfriend!" you whisper shout the correction but she's already left you alone in the hallway. you let out an annoyed sigh before exiting the cabin.

Anakin's sitting on the cabin's porch fence, scrolling on his phone as he waits for you. the second he hears the door open and locks eyes with you there's an infectious smile on his face. one that has you beaming just as brightly.

"ready?" he asks, standing up and already starting to walk off. you follow along, picking up the pace so you're side by side. he leads you away from the cabins and towards one of the forest walking paths.

"i thought we weren't supposed to walk these paths at night?" your question doesn't deter him as he continues to walk, the crunch of twigs beneath your feet filling the small void of silence along with the crickets chirping.

"we aren't supposed to in the dark, but as far as i can see it's still light out" he says and points up to the sky, the sun has almost fully set. the sky a deep cool blue that's just barely bright enough with all the stars to see where you're going.

"rule breaker" you snort, and he shrugs looking up to the sky as he walks. his feet avoiding certain tree roots with practiced ease. showing just how often he'd walked the path.

"i prefer rule bender" he says while looking down towards you. "it's fine we'll walk this way for a few minutes and then we'll end up in front of the lake" he points off the pathway making you raise a brow. "trust me, i've done this a thousand times"

"what made you start doing this anyway?" you ask curiously, following closely beside him as he leads the way.

"Ben has worked here longer than me. when i started he took me out for a walk my first night for some fresh air since i was nervous" he jumps onto a boulder in front of you, pulling himself up before sticking his hand out to help you up as he speaks. "it sorta became a tradition for us each night that year, didn't last though clearly for him anyway."

once you're up on the boulder beside him he jumps down. "how come he never joins you now?" you ask from above him, he holds his hands out so he can catch you when you jump.

"we hadn't been placed in the same cabin my first year, it's much easier for one counselor to slip away instead of two of the three." you jump and he catches you with ease, gently setting you down on the ground. his arms linger for a few seconds around your waist before he lets go, making you shiver. "this way"

"do you have any traditions like that with Honey back home?" this time he asks the question, and you ponder for a moment as you both approach a clearing leading to the lake.

"nothing that involves walking at night, kind of a dangerous game to play as two women who definitely do not exercise the way we should" he laughs and you simply admire the way his eyes crinkle at the edges when he does.

"we do have movie nights every friday, we consistently have a growing list of movies we want to watch together so we pick a random one depending on our mood for the day and then make some popcorn and snuggle up on the couch." Anakin nods, kicking some small rocks into the shallow part of the lake as he listens to you.

"how do you manage every friday night?" he asks, coming to a full stop when he realizes you're not next to him anymore.

"we live together" you answer simply, while untying your shoes. he looks pretty confused before it clicks what you're doing.

"must be nice, me and Ben have thought about moving in together but we also think one of us would kill the other- i think the only thing keeping me safe now are the kids" you try to hold back a laugh but fail, Anakin just rolls his eyes continuing on back towards the campgrounds.

"it's definitely a little bit of a challenge at first, but once you figure out what works it's great." a comfortable silence falls over you two.

you keep your eyes out towards the lake, enjoying the way the stars reflect off the cold water. it's not till you turn back to Anakin that you see he's already staring at you. a soft look on his face that you can't quite read.

"we should probably head back to our cabins" he says softly, not wanting to break the silence. "busy day tomorrow" he adds voice barely above a whisper. it's strange the pull you feel towards him in this moment. it's always there but this felt different. like there was a shift in the air.

he holds his hand out and you feel your heart hammer in your chest as you take it without hesitation. and when he intertwines his fingers with yours you think you may just faint. this was different, not a sole around to see you two and yet here you both were.

"this is an interesting little relationship you and i have" he jokes and you can't help but giggle. he swings your hands beside you both as you guys walk. bright smiles that could outshine the sun on your faces. an interesting little relationship indeed.

you had to tiptoe back into the staff bedroom, everyone already asleep as you'd accidentally been out a lot longer than you'd intended. flopping onto your bed with a mix of excitement and exhaustion as you do your best to contain your giggles.

you stare up at the bottom of the top bunk, finally allowing it all to sit in. every little thing you'd done together, each thing he'd done swirling around in your head. oh you were so about to get the biggest 'i told you so's' in the morning, and you know what? you weren't even mad about it.

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"oh my gosh.. oh my gosh!? OH MY GOSH!" Padme's voice rang in your ears as she jumped up and down excitedly at the news, you decided to tell her the second she got back in the room from a shower before Opal did. you'd only just woken up, hadn't even gotten the chance to message Honey about it.

if you hadn't covered your ears you were pretty sure you might have gone deaf. "i knew it! i so knew it- i told you so didn't i" she's shaking you now, your head wobbling back and forth with each jostle.

"Padme… i love you but i think i'm going to pass out if you keep whipping me around like this" she releases your shoulders only to wrap her arms around you and deathly bear hug.

"i'm sorry i can't help it, i just knew he liked you. you two make the cutest couple!" woah, you pull back at that- couple? i mean it's not like you'd both confessed. well maybe indirectly but you definitely were not dating yet. not for real anyway… right?

"uhh Padme we're still just fake dating" she deadpans at you and the fire behind her eyes makes you think she just may start jostling you around again.

"nope i refuse to accept that as a reality." you give her a look, ready to tell her that's not how that works but she puts a finger over your mouth keeping you quiet. "i need you to think about what you just said and then think about last night again and try to tell me that you're not actually dating."

she moves her finger from your mouth and you give it a few seconds to test if she's serious. when you realize she is in fact you open your mouth once again to deny it but are promptly shut down but her finger on your mouth again a soft 'shhhhh' coming from hers.

you sigh, pulling back from her. "alright i'm not going to say it but just know i'm thinking it" she rolls her eyes completely over this game of back and forth.

"and just know i rebuke it" you stick your tongues out at each other before smiling and laughing. she leaves you alone in the room as you get changed and ready for the day. you leave yourself with just enough time to message Honey about everything that's happened.

'OMG SO YOU TWO ARE FINALLY TOGETHER FR EEEEEK!!' her message brings a smile to your face that probably mirrored hers. oh how you hate how you're gonna have to shut it down.

'not exactly… we're still just fake dating yk…' theres a long pause on Honeys end before the speech bubble appears.

'girl don't play with me rn 😐' honestly why'd you even bother, nothing you say ends up being taken seriously by anyone.

'i'm serious Honey' you're pretty sure she's fighting you in her mind rn with how quick her responses are.

'y/n i need you to tell me one time you've guessed correctly about your situation with Anakin so far and then i'll believe you' you're stuck staring at your screen in silence. racking your brain for an answer, evidently you take too long as honey follows up with 'yea, that's what i thought'

brutal honesty, not something she uses on you often but clearly she decided this was a special case. 'okay well this was nice but i have to go to breakfast now😁' You try to switch topics and end the conversation there but she brings it right back.

'subject changes don't work on me babes💋💋" alright and that's enough from Honey you snort a laugh before turning off your phone. that girl knew you too well for your own good.

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it's safe to say breakfast went differently today, not just because it was Canoe day which meant it was a more 'extravagant' breakfast- pancakes instead of eggs and French toast instead of breakfast sandwiches- but because now you and Anakin had a slightly unspoken thing going on.

one that you mutually had acknowledged last night without actually discussing it. "mooorning" Ben greets you with a mischievous glint in his eyes as you sit beside Anakin. taking a long dramatic sip of his water before sending you both a wink. Anakin wasn't paying much attention as usual.

he did however shockingly have a plate of food in front of him, and a not-so-sleepy expression on his face. you choose to ignore Ben's teasing and focus on Anakin instead with a raised brow. "like i said busy day today" he says before taking a bite of french toast.

"yea he's been up for the last two hours shockingly, just so he'd be awake enough to want to eat" Ben says annoyed, clearly he'd been the one to have to wake him up.

"how is today's schedule going to go?" you ask not having been given the full breakdown, just the rough summary.

"well after we finish breakfast here, there's going to be free time while a few of the selected staff members help set up all the canoes and rope off the section of the lake we'll be rowing in. once they're done we're free to do whatever we want really, go in the canoes or stay on the lakefront and just chill. until the cookout in the evening followed by the bonfire and s'mores before we all have to turn in for the night- they even extend curfew for this" Rex grows restless at Ben's side the more he explains, like a child ready to be released in a candy store.

you watch him amusedly, and when Ben finally finishes Rex is quick to chirp in- "and this is my year to shine as i've been one of the selected staff members to help set up" he says proudly, puffing out his chest like a mating bird that has you snorting laughing at him.

"yea they selected him this year" you could tell there was a hidden 'and not me' behind Ben's words, but didn't push as he didn't seem too upset by it. just mildly annoyed.

"i think it's great you got selected Rex, it's the perfect chance for you to prove to them exactly why they didn't choose you any of the years prior" Anakin teases and Rex deadpans before sending him a swift kick from under the table.

you and Ben both roll your eyes at their antics. "you two are ridiculous you know" Ben chimes in and Anakin deflects with a 'what it's true'.

"well, i'm just happy because me and y/n are going to be canoeing together" Anakin says while wrapping an arm around your waist. if you had food in your mouth you probably would have choked.

you fight the urge to verbalize a 'we are?' as you take a sip from your water bottle to distract yourself from how much you enjoyed his touch.

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Anakin, Ben, Padme, and you all spent free time together. just chatting on one of the benches outside of the lodge hall, all of the kids from each cabin were playing tag in front of you all in the open grass area as the selected staff members finished setting up for the day.

it was crazy how casually Anakin had slipped into his role as your fake boyfriend but what was even crazier was just how much more he was acting like he was your actual boyfriend since last night. yeah, Honey and Padme may have had a point.

the four of you were all sitting on the bench side by side, packed together like sardines. Anakin had made it a smidge easier for all of you by having you rest one of your legs over his to make more room. his thigh's warmth against the back of yours was easy to get used to.

the big calloused hand of his that rested on top of your thigh however was a little bit harder to brush past. especially with how much you were all joking around, laughter bubbling out of your chests and each time without fail if the joke made him laugh hard enough he'd give your thigh a squeeze.

you were a flustered mess and it was so pathetically obvious, even as you tried to pretend this was all normal. laughing when the group laughed occasionally tossing in your own joke when you'd actually paid attention enough to know what was going on.

despite all of that; when the announcement was made for everyone to come down to the lakefront because they'd finished setting up, you and Anakin were the last to leave the bench. watching as all the kids ran down excited to get in the lake on the canoes the rest of the staff not far behind.

He gives your thigh a pat to get your attention, and you don't waste a second to give it to him. "ready?" it all felt to good to be true honestly but you nod nonetheless, pulling your leg off of his and standing up.

he takes your hand in his this time without asking, tugging you along behind him as you clumsily follow. he's the one to push the canoe out, the one who helps you tighten your life vest before helping you step inside and then climbing in himself. rowing you both out to the outer edge of the lake away from where everyone else was.

Anakin seemed to always be the one to take initiative, to test how far you'd let him go, and each time no matter how small of a push. you felt the pull towards him grow stronger. it was almost ridiculous, but you didn't dare try and fight it. not anymore.

"we should go out further" you blink a few times trying to figure out if he'd been talking this whole time and you'd somehow missed an entire conversation with him. he looks over to you awaiting your answer, when he sees your confusion he juts his chin towards the rope sectioning everyone off to this side of the lake.

"we can't go past the rope Ani, it's against the rules" Anakin freezes completely at your sentence and your brows crease together in concern. did he really wanna go out past the rope that bad?

"i.." he begins but trails off once more a blush growing on his cheeks as he clears his throat trying to push it down. but the way his ears shine a bright red are a dead give away and now you're trying to remember what you said that could have gotten such a reaction out of him. "right, yeah but it's only against the rules if we get caught" he finally recovers.

"i think i'd be kind of hard to miss a single canoe floating past the rope" you cross your arms and he smiles, ever the rule 'bender'.

"they're all to busy enjoying their own time to care, come on it'll be fun" he's already rowing you both to the rope before you even get to answer.

"famous last words" you grumble and he snorts, giving a quick glance behind you to check if anyone’s looking before he lifts the rope up and rows you both past it.

"yet you're doing nothing to try and stop me" he says while continuing to row you both out, slowly getting farther and farther away from everyone. he doesn't stop until you guys are slightly behind the small island that’s in the center. "see perfect"

he moves the paddles into the canoe, laying on his back so that he's looking right up at the sky. "do you do this every year too?" you ask, leaning into your palm as you watch him.

"nah but i've always wanted to" he looks over to you briefly while putting his hands behind his head for a little added cushion. your eyes briefly glancing down as his shirt rides up exposing a little bit of his midriff. "now i have a partner in crime" he jokes and you roll your eyes.

"more like someone to bring down with you" you force yourself to look up at the sky, leaning back on your hands and using the sides of the canoe as support.

"goes hand in hand really" you hum at his response, allowing a peaceful silence to wash over you both. the sound of laughter from everyone in the distance and the warm rays of the sun washing over you two made the moment feel like something out of a movie or maybe it was just the heat making you hazy.

you both sit like that for a while, basking in the sunlight before Anakin's phone vibrates in his pocket. you turn to look at him shocked he risked bringing it out onto the lake, the odds of you two falling out were low but you'd never chance it. "it's Ben, he said they're all looking for us"

"all as in everyone or all as in just our friends?" you ask suddenly panicked as he sits up, tucking his phone back in his pocket before nudging his foot against yours.

"just our friends, relax. we've been out here for thirty minutes it's no wonder they're looking for us" thirty minutes!? maybe the heat really was getting to you because it had not felt like thirty minutes.

good news you and Anakin successfully make it back on the sectioned-off side of the lake without being caught by the camp directors. bad news buckets of surprise water balloons had been brought out.

the kids were going crazy with them, completely targeting the very outnumbered staff. which you'd only realized after you'd stepped off the boat. being met with the feeling of ice-cold water splashing against your head, broken pieces of hot pink rubber falling to the ground.

the culprit, Zion, standing red-handed in front of you with another balloon rearing to go. the second it leaves his hand you run, causing Anakin to be the one hit instead. square in the middle of his back since he was busy putting up the canoe with the others.

the second the canoe is secure he's running after Zion, grabbing a water balloon from the bucket along the way. you load up with a few of your own ready to chase after him as well only to get hit by Ahsoka from your right. you switch targets instantly both of you tossing all the balloons in your hands at each other as you chase after her.

that's how the next few hours are spent until the very last water balloon is used and the sun is halfway down the horizon. the selected staff members already getting the bonfire going before everyone headed over.

the cold water that soaked your clothes mixing with the cool night breeze was lethal as your teeth chatter together. Padme and Ben had run back to the cabins to grab blankets and towels for your friend group, a few other counselors doing the same as well as some of the campers.

Rex, Anakin, Opal, and you found a spot close to the fire as you waited for their return. you did your best to hide your smile as you watched Opal finally talk to Rex for the first time, a blush on both their cheeks as they spoke.

it was adorable, but you had to stop Anakin from teasing them. it didn't take much really just a gentle smack to his arm telling him to stop and that Opal was too sweet to be teased like that.

"for the happy couple" Ben teased, chucking a soft blanket at Anakin before plopping down with Padme and handing Rex a towel. both he and Padme had changed their clothes before returning. the smart idea honestly as the fire was doing nothing with how wet your clothes were.

Anakin wraps what was definitely his blanket judging by the smell of his cologne on it, around you both after gently pulling you into his chest. arms resting around your waist as you practically sat in his lap. if you weren't bordering hypothermia you'd probably be freaking out more, currently however you were just happy to enjoy the warmth of his body.

how he was so warm when he was just as soaked as you, you had no idea. that boy was just a human furnace. "do you wanna go change?" Anakin whispers into your ear, creating a little bubble with just you two in it despite having your friends all around you.

did you want to go change? yes definitely- did you want to have to get up and move in order to do so? no, no you did not. "i'm good" he chuckles, your teeth still chattering as you speak.

"you're freezing" he argues and you simply shrug. he rolls his eyes before fully pulling you into his lap now, wrapping his arms over yours completely cocooning you. you let out a soft satisfied sigh that has him smiling against the back of your neck.

maybe you were hallucinating but you swear you felt his lips press a small kiss before he rested his chin on top of your head. "are you two gonna roast marshmallows?" Padme asks pulling your attention away from the fire. she has a smile on her face you've come to know all to well, as she waits for your answer. holding out the packet of roasting sticks for you to grab and pass to the people next to you.

"yeah thanks" Anakin says reaching out and breaking the shell of warmth as the blanket parts. as he pulls out two sticks before handing the packet to the next person it hits you; just exactly what you were doing and who you were doing it with. the irony of Padme being the one observing you two and you the one currently sitting in his lap.

you're absolutely dumbfounded, the feeling of Anakin's calm breathing against your back only makes it all the more surreal. over a hundred kids and staff gathered around a giant bonfire not even batting an eye at you two. to most of them you were actually dating so it made sense, and honestly you weren't sure how to feel about that.

this was more than just fake dating, that much was obvious even to you now. but if you weren't fake dating and you weren't actually dating, what on earth do you call whatever it is you two are doing right now? you felt your stomach twist in uncertainty the more you thought about it.

"here" Anakin holds out the stick to you, two marshmallows already on one end waiting for you to roast them. you blink a few times before taking it sticking your hand out from the blanket and holding the stick over the fire.

Anakin doesn't acknowledge your silence, probably thinking you were just enjoying the quiet. boy would he be wrong, there was no quiet to enjoy with how loud every thought in your mind screamed. curiosity clawing at you, needing to know just what to label you both as.

"you know when i was younger, my mom would take me and my stepbrother camping with Ben's family all the time." he shifted you in his hold as he extended his own roasting stick over the fire, carefully twisting it as he roasted his marshmallows. "and i still remember the first time i was finally allowed to roast my own marshmallows. i burnt them to a crisp"

"how'd you manage to do that?" you laugh and he smiles against the back of your head, continuing to twist the stick in his hand. you follow his lead twisting your own as he spoke again.

"well for starters i was like 9 and ornery." his voice was low, it rumbled in chest and against your back. "and i was so focused on trying to mess with Ben that i forgot i was even holding a marshmallow over the fire to begin with. the worse part was they all saw the marshmallow on fire and didn't say anything! not even my own mother" you bite back a laugh, poorly as he can very much tell you’re laughing at him.

"my first betrayal- she'd said it was the natural consequence for messing with Ben. she was right of course but i still got upset and threw a fit" you mumble a quiet 'bratty' under your breath and he gently pinches your side making you giggle.

quiet. all the thoughts in your head were gone as you listened to him speak, finishing roasting your marshmallows and then placing them onto the prepped graham crackers with chocolate that rested on top of your knee. the blanket half fallen off his shoulder from all the movement.

you didn't ask when he prepped the graham crackers, it wasn't important. not when you were sat in the lap of someone you'd grown so fond of, biting into s'mores simultaneously and relishing the sweet treat with a childlike fondness.

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the walk back to the cabins was a long one for everybody, you and Anakin lingering behind tiredly hand in hand not quite ready to let go of each other. it's not until you have to part ways to go to your separate cabins that you both acknowledge the fact you have to let go.

everyone else is inside getting ready for bed as you both stand face to face, working up the courage to say goodnight. "you have Marshmallow on your face" you reach up cradling his head with your hand as you wipe off the goo from his cheek with your thumb.

when you try to pull away his hand grabs hold of your wrist, forcing you to continue cradling his head- not that you were against it. the dark of the night was a dangerous thing you found, as it provided you with a cover the morning light didn't. a certain boldness that the sleep-ridden parts of your brain aided in. one that had him leaning down and you pushing up on your tiptoes to meet him halfway.

soft lips pressing against each other, the sugary taste of s'mores on each other's mouths making you crave more. just as you feel his tongue lick at your bottom lip you both hear the sounds of footsteps coming from behind you. pulling away quickly, flustered, very much wide awake and aware now.

Anakin clears his throat after Jacob walks past, not even paying attention as he scrolls on his phone. "i'll see you tomorrow y/n" you can't even meet his eyes, giving him a small nod ready to run back to your cabin as quick as possible.

"goodnight Ani" you say before doing just that.

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you crashed so quickly last night that you'd almost thought it was all just a dream when you woke up. the taste of roasted marshmallow still in the back of your throat the only thing reminding you that it was in fact reality. Holy shit. you kissed Anakin. Anakin kissed you. you both-

"are you okay? you look like you're having an existential crisis over there" you turn to Opal who's sat directly across from you, her phone forgotten in her hand probably from the moment you flung up in bed.

"uhhh- me yea i'm fine.. fine, great actually" your voice raises in pitch with each affirmation and she looks like she believes you less and less each time.

"you look a little pale y/n" you force a smile and give a nervous laugh. pulling yourself up and out of bed so quickly you stumble over your own feet almost crashing into the dresser.

"yep i'm totally cool" you repeat cool a few more times while grabbing your stuff for the day and stumbling out of the room down the hall and into the bathrooms.

as soon as you're inside one of the stalls you pull out your phone plopping onto the toilet lid. 'Honey i'm freaking tf out'

'what happened?' you bite your lip as you type out a very rush 'me and anakin kissed' but reading it back when you hit send it says 'mme ahnd anaki nkissed' thankfully it was legible enough as Honey was quick to send back a response.

'OMG!? 👀👀' you spend the next few minutes frantically typing out barely legible messages explaining what happened in between changing into your clothes for the day.

'this is the greatest day of my life and it's not even me who got kissed' not the time Honey you huff to yourself staying firmly locked in the bathroom stall away from all of your campers and probably Padme with a shit ton of questions if Opal mentioned the state you woke up in.

'what are you so freaked out about? is this not good news?' of course it was but had he even actually meant to kiss you or was it just the heat of the moment? and not to mention now you'd have to face each other and pretend like nothing was different until you got the chance to talk to each other semi-alone on the way to the activity center.

'it's just such inconvenient timing 😭😭' that was the best way you could think to put it.

'inconvenient timing? i'm sorry did you have a plan for a more convenient time in your oh so busy schedule??' you deadpan, at least her attitude was enough to calm you down.

'we beefin rn?🤨🤨' Honey liked the message and you find yourself smiling.

'yea we are let's go 💥👊💥👊' you laugh a little too loud at that, liking the message right before the door to the bathroom opens.

"y/n are you in here?" Mia's voice rang out. you turn your phone off tucking it in your back pocket, ignoring the next few buzzes as you grab your dirty clothes.

"yea i'm right here Mia, everything okay?" you ask while exiting the stall the young girl held out her hair brush and a handful of elastics.

"can you do my hair again? i wanna do bubble braids" you smile softly at her before directing her out of the bathroom with your hand on her shoulder.

"yea come on i'll do it in the other room i just need to put my stuff into my room.

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your able to successfully dodge most of Padme's questions on the way to breakfast. using Opal as a scapegoat by bringing up the fact she'd been chatting with Rex all night. a necessary sacrifice to keep her off your back, you'd find a way to apologize later.

right now your only focus was walking into the lodge hall and- he wasn't there. for fucks sake he wasn't there. your eyes dart over the entirety of the building in an instant. not in the breakfast line, not coming out of the bathrooms, not at the normal table, and certainly not at some other table. shit.

you skip the breakfast line entirely heading straight to where Ben and Rex are sat. "where's Anakin?" the question startles them as they both swivel in their seat turning to where you stood behind them.

"good morning y/n, how lovely it is for us your other clearly less important friends to see you on this fine day" Rex's sarcasm isn't lost on you but you brush it off giving him an 'i'm serious look'

"he didn't wanna get out of bed, it's not shocking with how early he was up yesterday and how late he stayed up but honestly you'd think after the fourth time i pulled his blankets off he'd have given in" Ben answers you relieving you of the fear he might have purposely skipped breakfast to avoid you.

you relax instantly letting out a soft 'thank the gods' before exhaustedly plopping onto the spot next to Ben. practically melting into the table, he gives you an awkward pat on the back for encouragement. "should we be concerned?" you shake your head no at his question, your forehead rubbing against the table with a weird squeak to it as you do.

"great because as much as i'd love a reason to beat up Anakin it's way to early for me to put in that amount of energy" you turn to look at Ben as he speaks, Rex agreeing with him through a mouth full of food. at least this time he keeps his mouth shut as he does it.

was this really a good outcome though? this meant realistically you wouldn't be able to discuss with Anakin until after the first period ended and that's if Rex even left you two alone.

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which he didn't as it turns out, because as usual, the universe loves to torment you. he'd managed to single-handedly keep you two from having even a second of alone time together. since when did Rex talk this much honestly?

not to mention the kids all had to come to you and Anakin since Rex was no help, you really regretted agreeing for the kids to get another day of working on friendship bracelets. the collections of bracelets you received growing larger, to the point you felt guilty not being able to wear them all and just took them off only keeping the one Anakin had made you on.

you could tell a few of the kids were disappointed because of this but you explained to them you'd cherish each one and just didn't want to ruin them which seemed to make them feel a little better even for the ones who didn't truly believe you.

all day it’d been like that, talking to Rex, explaining to the kids something you'd thought they'd already figured out the day prior to canoe day, reassuring them you did like the bracelet they made you even though you didn't have it on. an endless cycle making it hard to breathe when all you wanted to do was take two minutes to yourself in order to pull Anakin aside and ask what that damn kiss meant to him. what it made you.

even on the way to dinner it was never-ending chatter from the kids and Rex, and gods it was just too much. you were overstimulated, about ready to explode at the next person who came up and talked to you. forget talking to Anakin you just needed everything to stop.

"y/n" Anakin's hand on your arm pulls you to a stop, all the kids continue on pass you both along with Rex who takes lead after Anakin sends him a look. "breathe" he slides his hand down your arm and into your palm giving it a gentle squeeze.

you hadn’t realized just how much the world around you was spinning, breathing in much too fast for any oxygen to actually enter your lungs. when he notices you still unable to catch your breath he gently pulls you to his chest, giving you a hug just tight enough for the pressure to help relieve you.

he takes long exaggerated breaths in an attempt to trick your brain into copying him. it works, slowly at first, but eventually you're calm. relaxing into his hold and listening to the sound of his beating heart. it's embarrassing how fast you spiraled without realizing it, but Anakin doesn't say anything.

for once he didn't try to joke his way out of a serious moment, letting you take all the time you needed to recover. when you do finally pull away he doesn't try and ask what was wrong, he lets you find the words you want to say.

"thank you..." you start, looking up into his eyes. he doesn't look scared or concerned not at first glance. not until you really look into his eyes do you see the worry hidden behind his calm expression. putting on a brave face to keep you calm and comfortable. "i'm okay now, promise."

"what happened there?" he finally asks, your hand still in his. his thumb rubbing soothing circles over the cold skin.

"i don't know…today was just a lot" he leads you both to the nearest grass patch to sit down in. you let out a loud sigh opting to lie down instead.

Anakin lays down beside you keeping his eyes up at the stars above you. "Yeah for me too" you look over to him checking to see if he was just saying that to make you feel better. there's a genuine look of exhaustion on his face that shows he isn't.

you both fall into a somber silence and for the first time, you take initiative. your fingers tapping against his making him turn his attention down to your hand. you keep your eyes on the stars but you can see him smile faintly through your peripherals.

he turns his hand up letting you slide yours into his, the mood already feeling much lighter. "you always manage to quiet my mind" you confess, turning your head to his. your noses are so close they're almost touching. its a different kind of overwhelming, the kind with that underlying pull towards one another. the same pull you felt last night when you kissed.

"funny because you always manage to make mine louder" you snort and he laughs "what i'm serious, i've never met someone who takes up as much of my mind as you" the sincerity in his voice is what makes your breath hitch, giving him the courage to continue.

"even now i can't get my mind to stop running with thoughts and questions about you. it's kind of annoying" oh you were in love with him. would you be saying that out loud anytime soon absolutely not. way to soon, but there was no denying it in your heart. the way it swelled from his words before kicking into overdrive.

there's a long pause as you just stare into each other's eyes before you break the silence. "Ani….can you kiss me again?" he takes so long to respond you're almost sure you only asked in your head.

"i like when you call me that" he mumbled, so quietly and quickly you're barely able to catch it before his lips are on yours.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

Oh what a joy it was to tell Honey, Padme and Ahsoka all of this the next day. truly you were ecstatic you'd talked for the rest of dinner together, about anything and everything. eventually landing on the big 'what are we' question. to no one's surprise but your own denial's, he'd asked you out.

now having been dating for the last two weeks of camp. the dreaded day of goodbyes had finally come.

all the campers had left a few days prior leaving just the staff to help clean up and put everything away for the summer. you'd all finished the first day giving you guys the last two days to just chill and hang out together one last time.

you honestly felt like crying as Padme hugged you, neither one of you wanting to let go of the other. "i don't know how i'm going to survive this world without you" she sniffles and you can't help but laugh.

"i think i've rubbed off on you too much, you're starting to sound like me and Honey" you sniffle as well and both pull away laughing at just how emotional you were.

"save some tears for the rest of us" Rex calls from over Padme's shoulders. you flip him off and he does it right back to you before walking over and giving you a proper hug goodbye.

"i hope everything works out between you and Opal" he smiles down at you while pulling away, patting your head like some child. you have half a mind to swat him away but ultimately decide to let it slide just this once.

"alright me next" Opal says engulfing you in a bone-crushing hug "i loved hanging out with you even though it was for a short amount of time, i hope we get to hang out again soon or next summer!" you smile patting her back to let you go so you can breath enough to talk.

laughter bubbles out of you both after the wheeze that leaves your mouth. "we'll see each other again it's a promise" you finally speak. Ben walks up to you now pulling you into a hug as well.

"i am just so grateful that Anakin finally has someone else to bother all the time" he jokes and you hear Anakin gasp dramatically behind him making you snort.

"you're not off the hook Kenobi, you've just gained another person for him to help bother you." he lets out a sigh crossing his arms as he steps away from you.

"i was afraid you'd say that, i suppose i'll just have to learn to live with it." he strokes his beard pretending to truly ponder this over, and you roll your eyes before turning to Anakin.

he was looking at you like a sad puppy and you felt so incredibly guilty as if you'd be leaving him forever. which wasn't the case at all in fact you'd planned a date for saturday night. still he pulled you into a hug holding on like he was going to lose you. it was going to be weird going from seeing him every day to just a few days of the week.

it would be okay though, he would make sure of it.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

Bonus scene (as well as another wee times skip):

"omg i can't believe this is it!!" Honey jumped up and down beside you as you walked towards the restaurant. "i'm finally meeting her this is a dream come true"

"you know i honestly figured you'd be more excited to meet Ben" she just let out another squeal unable to verbally answer. she was excited to meet everyone for different reasons, Padme just happened to be the only person she really cared about. the bestie who helped her bestie as she put it.

the look in Honey's eyes when she laid eyes on her was definitely an i'm either going to faint or scream look. judging by the way she completely froze you guessed fainting was the higher possibility, slowly you pushed her towards the group, already sat amongst a conjoined table outside.

"y/n!" Padme cheered upon seeing you followed by an excited squeal when she saw Honey. "omg! it's good to finally see you in person!" she was out of her seat in an instant, giving you a long hug before her and Honey clung onto each other like long-lost siblings.

"you'd think she was the one introducing me" you joke before turning to the rest of the table and greeting everyone else, giving them all quick hugs before you sat down next to Anakin.

he gives you a kiss on the lips in greeting instead of a hug, putting his arm around your shoulder as you wait for the two girls still hugging to release each other and join you all.

"omg it's so weird seeing you all, i can't believe you're real" Honey snorts, plopping down on the empty seat next to Padme.

"so Opal, Rex, and Ben" she says listing off the last three members and pointing at them for confirmation- not that she needed it.

"it's an honor to meet you" Ben said sticking his hand out to which she happily, albeit shyly, shook.

"what is she famous? who greets someone like that" Anakin jokes and Ben just rolls his eyes, you smack his arm chastising him like a disobedient child to which he gives a dramatic 'ow' while rubbing his arm.

"hate to say it but i'm with Anakin that was oddly formal even for you Kenobi" Rex teases as well and Opal shrinks beside him feeling sympathy for Ben but much to shy to say anything to Rex.

"it was a normal greeting" Ben argues, feeling himself fluster under the spotlight of his friends. now that was rare, and an interesting sight to see.

"alright let's order food i’m starving" Padme pivots the conversation away from Ben's odd behavior.

the group of you all relearning how to navigate with each other along with Honey. it was easy though, everyone clicking into place like pieces of a puzzle. jokes and stories flowing from your mouths without a single awkward pause.

the warm breeze of summer blowing away with the new cool wind of fall with each passing second and shared laugh.

a/n: she’s here 😭 she’s finally here

i shall have my wattpad and ao3 up to date tmr whenever i wake up ✨

i’m going to be completely honest with you guys and say after the 2 am mark i forgot pretty much everything i previously wrote 💀 been writing purely off intuition 😀

anywhooo hope you guys enjoy fr 🫶🏼🫶🏼 you’ve been so supportive and i appreciate ever second of it!

a special thank you to @munsondjarin who is the whole reason this fic was even conjured up and @everydaydreamer who encouraged me to write it as well as let me bounce ideas off of her anytime i needed 💋💋 love you both sm

i’m not sure when the bonus smut chapter will be written or out but i shall keep you all posted and in the mean time i am finally going to write some fall fluff oneshots 🥳🥳 and also im going to be doing the rest of my august schedule

so please send in any questions you have for me surrounding the series, whether it be character info or inspiration or how i can up with certain names and so on✨

i’ll also be posting all of the cut dialogue and possible ways scenes were originally supposed to go (i took ss throughout the process before i deleted anything🙂‍↕️)

now if you excuse me i am going to pass out🥰 have a wonderful days huns Xx <3

tag list: @anakinskwkler @anakinstwinklebunny @divineani @huayan @poppysrin @bxbyysstuff @dollhobigem @skywalkercinema @corio-letit-snow @avatarobsessedgirly @kelsxxyawn @7xss @throughparisallthroughrome @humongouscatfest @rhiannonhippiegirl @akixxrafiiy @ter-luer @w0rsh1psells @bulllsseye @anitaxl @everydaydreamer

#hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #star wars anakin #anakin imagine #modern!ani #anakin fanfiction #modern!anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker x reader fluff #anakin x reader fluff #college anakin #college anakin skywalker #camp au!anakin #camp au #summer love series #queenie’s thoughts xx<3

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