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#that took a lot of discernment and prayer
sparrowposting · 1 year
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I'm sorry but I have to disagree with your one post about pride flags. It's literally called a gay pride flag, not a gay celibacy flag. You may *personally* see it as a way to make gay people feel safe at a place and nothing more, but anyone else you'd show the flag to knows it's not signalling safety for individuals but a sign of complete endorsement for gay relationships, which is 100% against the church's teachings. There's no Catholic-appropriate reinterpretation of that flag's meaning.
I am going to be polite and adult about this anon, but like. Why did you think this was necessary?
It's not?
Do you think I'm stupid enough to not realize what most people think, even if I think that belief is erroneous and unnecessarily cruel? Do you think I'm SO detached from reality that I don't understand why people are getting their panties in a twist about the pride flag?
And fwiw, I support schools having pride flags and pride safe space stickers regardless of if they're gonna be like "uwu we have to uphold celibacy" or not. Frankly. Idgaf. I care about vulnerable kids and teens (and fuck it even adults) being welcome more than I care about anything else. I care about the marginalized being welcomed and loved in a supposedly universal church and faith, more than I care about hardlining doctrine.
This isn't even about my own personal opinions re sex, I sorta recused myself from that whole conversation when I decided to be single, for a variety of reasons most of which aren't even related to queerness. It IS about double standards, and othering of queers by Christians when straight people don't get half as much shit for doing "objectively worse" things even taking the strictest interpretations of church teachings.
But again. It's Sunday. It's sunny and warm. I have lovely things to do after mass and I'm not going to be angry at incorrect randos on the internet.
Good day, and I say genuinely without a hint of malice or sarcasm, I hope you find it in yourself to be kinder to queer folk. If you're sending completely unnecessary messages to strangers online, what do the people around you irl think?? I promise you, there's more of us than you think there are, and this kind of behaviour just signals that you're not someone to trust our whole selves with. That doesn't help anyone, and even if you're the sort to view evangelization as the end goal, view others as "means" to be "saved" rather than beloved human beings and ends in and of themselves, even then, this sort of attitude doesn't really help with those goals either.
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s-4pphics · 2 months
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moth. teaser. (e.w.)
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SYNOPSIS: knights of the devil, you all are to be conquered. 
WORD COUNT: 881 
WARNINGS: vampire!ellie, vampirekiller!oc, a lot to come FUCK, violence… so blood(drinking), death, murder, gore, religion briefly,
A/N: yasss yaaas taglist?
prolouge
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1809
“Oh, my precious darling…” 
Red, similar to her hair; palms painted from the tips of a finger to the points of elbows; knees sunk into begrimed pili drenched with fresh maroon. Panicked breaths are accompanied by prayers, wishes of denial. Desires for death. 
“… What I would give to protect you…” 
“F-F—“
Tortured hollers are directed towards the pouring skies. Bodies. Bodies everywhere; surrounded by decay. 
She sobs, deep from the pits of her stomach, “Father, for-forgive them! For they do not—“
Thunder claps. Lightning is being used as weapons from the Lord above, all meant to discover her and strike. The beams in the sky are intended to punish her discernment. It was a mistake. It was a mistake! Her eyes refuse to meet the battered corpse of the young babe, no more than three. Her crime was committed in a haze, blinded by starvation, all at the cost of the family before her. Villagers would deem the view a savage attack. A mutilation only made possible by the ravenous wolves after dark. The bears that protect the trees at dusk.
All on horseback, the strangers paused their ventures to inquire guidance. She swiftly became an aid for navigating the path, instructing them with a trembling finger and a blistering throat. Follow that trail to the end of the woods. Unbeknownst to their gracious eyes, she followed. Stalked after their mount for miles like the thoroughbred they ride, carried by the wind. Urged by bloodlust. 
Her vision blurred when they tied their horse’s lariats to a nearby post that barely passed the trees. Her vision was shrouded in darkness, a substance so thick that her limbs felt trapped, even in frantic movement. They’d reached the end, just like she’d promised. 
Their screams satiated her hunger, but never hindered her guilt. 
Demons, I tell you! All of them, demons! Witches destined to be set aflame for the masses! 
And now she crouches over them with remorse in her chest. Remorse that will wash away her like the rainfall that pounds on her shoulders. Much like it had in the past when her purity was stolen. Another fatality. 
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1919
“Hunting requires bouts of unwavering dedication. If the entirety of your being doesn’t relish in the suffering of the demons walking, then you are to be shunned.”
Being the youngest hunter-to-be amongst legends, historical monuments that leave trails of prosperous victories wherever they advance, is humbling. Your mother pestered you for as long as you could remember: never, never become a hunter, being her only protest for you, her only child. She used to pray beside your bed at night when she assumed you to be asleep, praising the Creator for forbidding you sickness or poverty. You were her only treasure, a gift from the frosted heavens. 
And the demons took her. 
Hunters searched the unoccupied lands that surrounded your home relentlessly, but no traces of the Devils’ were ever discovered. They attended your mother’s burial for your protection, and prepared to assist your transition into the orphanage, but you denied. You were permanently vexed. Forever vengeful. 
I wish to become a hunter! 
Your recruitment was immediate due to the shortage of volunteers, and that same day, you witnessed all of the treasures and memories of your childhood home — of your mother — get burned to the ground by the Hunters. No trails for the demons should go untouched by fire. 
“If you hesitate for even a second, you’re dead. Either by their hand…” 
Something unsettled you that morning as you prepared for school. Something in the air, something underground. A heaviness in your home that you couldn’t trace. Your mother ironed your skirt and pinned your hair up, brushed down the small curls around your hairline, and she eased you. The weather is changing, dear, she’d said before wishing you well. You studied relentlessly, all while she was shredded by teeth sharp as knives. You want the Devil’s lifeless heart in the palm of your hand, risks be damned.
“Or mine. And I will not hesitate.” 
The overseer of your battalion, who slowly paces before his future prodigies, aura menacing, pauses in front of you. With your gaze locked forward and a lump in your throat, you gawk right on the crescent on his belt — the hunter’s insignia — your feet shuffle, shoes slightly squeaking above the wood. 
“Are you prepared, child?” 
His tone is disparaging, and you swallow. Your head bobs and your breathing stutters. 
“Yes, sir.” 
He crouches before you and your cells stiffen, elbows perched on his knees, eyes finally level with yours. You appear stoic due to the grinding of your teeth, inspecting the stitched scar that sprouts at his right brow and crosses his eye.
“You are nothing,” He hisses, and your heart clenches, “You are not a child, and I am not your elder. Any identity you held prior to your arrival is worthless, now. We are vessels for the greatest power above. Hunter is your only name, do you understand?” 
No verbiage escapes you. It couldn’t with how your breath trembles, so you nod once; Quite mechanic. 
“Stand straight.” 
His conviction forces your shoulders into alignment, and snickers from the older prodigies erupt from behind you. Your cheeks warm and your palms drip. The overseer rises to his feet once more.
“That goes for all of you!” He shouts, and the room is quiet.
The crescent sparkles under the yellow candlelight. Your palms grow clammy at his viperous swear. 
“I will not hesitate.” 
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romana-after-dark · 5 months
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Rooms on Fire: Stop Dragg'n My Heart Around
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Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader
Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual
Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist : MainTaglist
Spotify playlist
Summery: Madonna learns more about her role and the dynamics of the household.
Warnings and Content:
DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT
DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence.
Extra warnings for chapter: Anal, oral, love bombing, control
This is not meant to be a statement about religion, Christianity, or Catholicism, this is simply my take on a cult. I am a religious person. I understand that some of this may be very offensive to religious people so if you don't like thing like AHS Asylum or Black Mass, maybe consider not reading.
A/N: Every chapter will be named after a song from the spotify playlist. Dont forget to commen fitting songs!!
6.2k words
Support writers! Reblog and leave comments!
NEW OC: Faceclaim, Dev Patel
**************
There's people running 'round loose in the world Ain't got nothing better to do Than make a meal of some bright eyed kid You need someone looking after you~ Stop Dragg'n My Heart Around, Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks
You were the wife of deities. You were blessed, honored. Holy mother. The Madonna, and inside your womb the savior would grow. All four of them were Gods of different patronage, each with their own abilities and passions.
Francisco was the god of nature. He was the god of all that grew in the earth, the soil. the flowers. He was clairvoyant, but also had a gift of growth. Life. His prayers over you would solidify implantation after conception, keep you and your baby safe.
Benjamin was the sun god, god of celebration, and celebrate he did. Ben’s mood often controlled the weather. Most of the time, regular weather patterns took place, Benjamin’s emotions could change them, and he was prone to big emotions. That’s why him and Francisco worked so closely together. Weather and nature, working to keep the crops growing and the people safe.
William was all about duality, you were taught in catechism. God of war, God of medicine. He had the gift of healing, but also impeccable military prowess. This made for a powerful ally and feared enemy. William headed the military and security, but also watched over the medical care. 
And Pope, Divine Mothers only child. Pope had the gift of discernment and prophesy. He was incredibly intelligent, and with that came respect. He was not just born into this position, but born for it. God of family, god of passion. You felt that passion so clearly every time his eyes bore into you. He could no more hide it than he could his own beauty.
So why, with all this power surrounding you, did you feel so scared?
Everything just feels so confusing right now. You feel as if you can’t get your head on straight, like everything is whirling. You're married. You might be pregnant. Why was everything so… hard. When Pope waved your bloodied sheet around, he was soon joined by a whooping Ben who took part in the celebrations and dragged Francisco out with him. It was just you and Will.
Naked and shivering, suddenly cold on the cool tile of the altar without the heat of passion to warm you
“Just one minute, I’ll get you dressed once I’m done.” He says quietly, kneeling before you with a wet wipe, gently dapping at your swollen folds. “Damn, really did a number on yuh, huh?”
You don’t know how to respond, so you don’t.
“Well, I think this is as good as it’s gonna get.” Leaning over, he presses a kiss to the top of your puffy parts and gets up, helping you down with a hand. He slides the dress back over you. William was gentle as he caressed your cheek. “You did so good for us, princess.” His hand moved to your belly. “You’re a good girl, and soon you’ll be full with our baby, I just know it.”
You stand there in shock, unable to exactly form a reaction. The lights were too bright, it was too warm. There were too many flowers and incense and candles and oils… to much. You shut down and Will finishes dressing you: shoes, flower crown minus the ropes of vine. He stuffs your underwear in his pocket with a smile. “My little dividend.”
Jonah was outside the room, laying down on a bench with his cowboy hat pulled over his face.
“Wake up, old man” Will spoke with a bite you weren’t used to.
He mumbled under the hat. “I’m awake, damn. Just resting.”
William nudged you towards where he was standing. “Watch her for the rest of the cocktail hour, then bring her in for the entrance.”
Jonah frowned. “She ain’t going to the cocktail hour with you?”
“What’s the point? She can’t drink. She might be pregnant.”
“It’s her wedding.”
Will rolled his eyes. “She’ll have the wedding shit, this is more of a… stag party. Bachelor party sort of thing.”
You didn't know what that meant. You weren’t sure you wanted to.
“Whatever. I’ll watch her.”
“Yeah. You will.” Williams harsh glare softened as he turned to you, holding your face with both hands. “I’ll see you in an hour, my beautiful bride.”
When he left, Jonah mumbled something and began walking you down the long hall. The place was huge, absolutely massive. The worship chapple and sanctuary were attached to the house, originally built as a pool house but refurbished with the establishment of Delta. Divine Mother wanted her home attached to the sanctuary so she could go whenever she wanted, no matter the weather, so a hall was built on. In addition to the several bedrooms, living rooms and so on, there was a ballroom. This is where you would go after. For now, it seemed, you weren’t needed…
You wanted to go still. You were their wife, you wanted to meet the other members of Delta, you wanted to dance, to laugh, to smile with them… but the day's events left you tired, left you hurting, left you… confused. Why had they all left you so fast, save for Will?
“You alright, honey?” Jonah’s voice barely registers in your ear.
You don’t have it in you to answer, simply staring straight ahead as your breathing picks up speed.
“Hey, darl’n, hey.” He stops outside the kitchen. “What’s go’n on, you hurt?”
How do you even explain it, the panic rising up in you, the fear. Why were you scared? You were married to the gods, there was no safer position to be in. You were safe, protected… so why did you feel so on edge? Why was your head hurting, your heart racing, and why did you feel so used?
You stopped breathing before you realized it.
“Hey!” Jonah shook you, but your eyes felt glassy and unfocused. He pulled you through the swinging kitchen doors.
“Dad, what-” You hear Iris say and vaguely register a third person in the room. Iris stops what she’s doing and rushes to you. “What’s happening? What did you do?”
“Nothing! I got her after the ceremony and this just started!”
You were gasping for breath, the light and airy feeling in your head making everything a little blurring. Still, you register hands on your shoulders, calling your name. “You need to breath. HEY! You hear me? BREATH.”
But you can’t. The panic, all-consuming panic clawed at your throat and tightened your chest. Then, a hard slap.
*SMACK*
Iris slapped you, causing your body to gasp in shock. You took the opportunity to breathe in as much as you could get, and once the oxygen settled in, so did the clarity.
Dizzy, you stumble back and nearly topple over, but Jonah catches you. Careful, he sets you down in a chair. “Easy now, darl’n, breath, breath…” his arms were strong and safe around you, but Iris grabs your shoulders.
“Listen to me.” You look up to watch her, brown eyes fiery on yours. She commanded the room. “You need. To get it. Together. Those men out there-” She pointed vaguely out the door. “Are dangerous.”
“Iris…” Jonah whispers, but when her head whips towards him in anger, he backs off.
“You shut it, you don’t know jack shit about surviving here, especially as a woman.” Back to you. “I don’t care how you feel, I know you’ll probably fall in love because you’ve been so brainwashed, but I need you to understand this.” She leans in. “You need to get your shit together. You need to clean up, you need to get out there and charm the fucking dick off of every single person in that room. The only way you get through this is if you want a very thin line. Submissive but not weak. Obedient but not permissive. Have boundaries but keep them loose and never, ever, try to resist sex. This is no time to be weak.”
Her words barely made sense to you.
They weren’t dangerous. They LOVED YOU. You were their WIFE. But still, part of her words range true; you were the daughter of a traitor, a man who partook in an uprising that caused the death of the Divine Mother, and the other high up members would have their eye on you. You needed to make sure there was no reason to doubt your love for your husbands, nor your adoration of Divine Mother.
“Fuck,” Iris mutters something to the third figure in the room about ‘nothing there’ then stands up. “Jonah, go back to the dressing room and get the make-up and hair products.” It was only then you realized you had been crying, make-up running off your face. “Rey, I need you to help me in here.”
He was tall, about as tall as Jonah but not quite the Millers height. “What do you need?” He began to tie his dark curls back. Iris directed him on finishing the desserts while she took out all the food from the oven for the main dish.
When Jonah came back, Iris set to work redoing your face, making it look as if you never cried, never had a single scared thought. She fixed you up nice and pretty, then left you on the chair to wait for your entrance.
After everything was placed on carts to take out, Iris departed, with Jonah following behind shortly and instructing the other man to stay with you. Iris insists she doesn’t need a guard dog, but Jonah say something about not wanting her alone with ‘those drunk bastards’ if he can help it. You’re suddenly nervous, unsure about being alone with a man other than your husbands or Jonah, but you don’t have a choice.
“They’re a stressful pair to watch aren’t they?” The dark haired man says, pulling up a chair beside you. He turns it around, straddling it before sitting backwards and leaning his arms on the backrest.
You don’t want to be rude, so you give a shy smile without meeting his eye. “Are they… um… is uh…” You realize you don’t know Jonah’s last name, and are unsure how to properly address him to others. You don’t want to seem too familiar when you are a married woman now. “Mr. Jonah, is he Iris’s father? I heard her call him dad.”
He chuckles a bit, and you turn to look at him. With a better view, and clearer vision, you are able to take in his features. He’s handsome, but in a almost boyish way -although you doubt he’s younger than 30. Dark curls are still pulled back, but you’d estimate his hair falls about shoulder length, maybe shorter, as chunks are falling out. Strong nose, brown skin, and bright, brown eyes. Strangely jovial compared to Iris and Jonah.
“Yeah, kinda rare that happens. She’s um… well, they’d had… well I guess it’s not my place to say, but they’ve had some ups and downs. But yeah, she’s his daughter.” He extends a hand. “Reyansh Saha.”
You give him your name. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Saha.”
He laughs again, but it doesn’t feel like he’s laughing at you; it’s too good natured for that. “Just Rey is fine.”
“Oh, no, no I shouldn’t.” You try to protest.
“Ammayi” (my girl) He says with a glint in his eye. “No one here will understand you if you call me Mr. Saha, I promise you. You can call me Reyansh if that’s easier. Or, well, you can call me Mr. Saha if you’re uncomfortable of course” His tone is good natured, but clearly trying to ease you. You feel like a skittish animal, and he’s a good samaritan trying to coax you to some food.
You give a little nod. “Okay, yeah Reyansh works.”
*
You felt like you may have another panic attack.
Pope was on your right, holding your arm with William beside him. On your left arm was Benjamin; Francisco was fidgeting beside him.
“Baby.” Ben whispers to Francisco. “You gotta calm down, you're shaking…”
You watch as Pope turns abruptly at the nickname, but says nothing. Benjamin grabs Francisco's hand, squeezing it three times and giving him a little peck on the cheek before letting go. Francisco smiled, just a little.
You were making your grand entrance as husbands and wife, to the whole of Delta, to stand out on the balcony as the masses gathered below. Jonah instructed you on procedure. 
“This is the most dangerous point. I have the entire guard in the crowd, both noticeably armed and plain clothes, everyones been searched before entry and theres no reason to suspect a problem, but-” He turned to you. “Anything happens, a gun shot, something is thrown, a fight breaks out, I am grabbing you and we are going. Don’t argue, don’t worry about them-” He gestures to the men beside you. “My only concern will be to get you to safety. Your husbands are all armed and trained fighters, you are not. You have me, understood?”
There would be no need for concern. As you stepped out, leading your husbands in a v shape through the curtains, a stark hush fell upon the crowd. Thousands of people, thousands, here to see your husbands. Here to see them with their brand new bride, the mother of their child. You were humbled, truly, to be honored in such a way that the god’s dained you deserving. Cheers broke out, no doubt to the flag being raised- your bloodied sheets, signifying that you were indeed a virgin, and had been claimed in the name of the gods. The crowd was adoring; how beloved your husbands were to their people!
You focused your hearing not being all that far away, to try and pick out a word or two, and were surprised with the result.
“MADONNA! MADONNA! MADONNA”
They were cheering… for you.
The priestess stood off to the side, raising her arms to hush the crowd. 
“Hail Madonna, full of grace, blessed are you amongst women!”
Then, she kneeled.
Behind her, beginning with the front and sending a wave through the back, the entire mass of people knelt, chanting “Hail! Hail! Hail!”
To both your left and right, all four of your husbands bowed to you.
You were the holy mother. You were Madonna. You would bring about the savior and peace on earth. You were divine.
*
The party went swimmingly. Your new found confidence, it turns out, made speaking to strangers easier. You shouldn’t fear them for being a traitor's child, you shouldn’t feel their judgeful gaze. They should worship you. Not the same as Pope, William, Benjamin and Francisco, and certainly not Divine Mother, but you were blessed.
You never were far from William, Pope, or Benjamin, most moments of the evening were spent with their arms around your waist or holding your hand; you belonged to them.
Pope had pulled you to the dance floor, tender grasp keeping you close as he guided you through the violin music. 
“You are just… so beautiful” He whispered, clean shaven face up against your own. 
“Thank you.”
“You do understand how stunning you are, don’t you? Most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
You tuck your head in his neck, smelling his aftershave; or was it the liquor on his breath? You weren’t sure.
“It’s like you were made for me…”
A gentle kiss. “I was. I was made for you, by Divine Mother’s majesty.”
You could feel him smile at that, hands slowly trailing down your back. “That’s right, made just for me…”
You nuzzle against him, signing contently. He loved you, you were so, so loved… “Made for my husbands”
His smile dropped. When his hands grazed over your ass, he gripped it tight, painful, making you yelp. The noise and crass motion was sure to attract attention, and you turn to look.
Pope grabs your face, forcing you to look at him. “Don’t look at them, look at me. I am their god, they are nothing compared to us, what we do is none of their business. I could bend you over right now and if I told them to ignore it, to go about the party, they will. You understand me?”
You nod.
His fingers pinch your cheeks. “Your body was made for me, and it’s mine. Understood?” You realize now your mistake. You had said your husbands. Plural. You must have hurt his feelings when bringing the others into it, even if you meant well. You note that special times between you and Pope should remain exclusive. Don’t make him jealous.
“Made just for you” You push past the force of his hold to kiss him on the lips. “I belong to you.”
Popes body language relaxed, his plush lips smiling again as his grip softens. He runs his thumb over your lips. “So beautiful for me…”
*
As you spoke like old friends to a woman you’d never met in your life, Benjamin slid up to you. “‘Scuse me, darl’n, but may I steal my wife away for a few moments?”
The woman bowed her head and excused herself while Benjamin pulled you away.
It wasn’t long before you were out the ballroom, down a hall and into a small linen closet, his hands all over you; frantic, needy, a fully hard cock pressing against your skirt. This was to be expected, and you understood your role. At any time, day or night, busy or not, you were to be available to be filled.
He yanked at your skirt. “Yuh know,” Benjamin said between short pants of breath. “It was my brothers insistence that your dress have blue… he said that- mmphh- it was symbolic or some bullshit, but I think he just wanted his color on you.”
You weren’t entirely sure if that was true, but you didn’t want to make a committal answer so you attempt to kiss back, unsure of the movements still. “Mmm, Benjamin…”
“Call me Benny, darl'n.” He rucks up your skirt, only to find no underwear. He stops, blue eyes looking at you with a steely ferocity. “Will take your panties after he cleaned you up.”
Lie, your first instinct told you. He’s dangerous,lie. But he wasn’t dangerous. He was your husband. “Yes” You wanted him to touch you again, you liked the way he explored your body. 
His brows pursed together before growling, turning you around and bending you over a small folding table. “God damn him, and god damn Pope!” Benjamin grunted, making you scared as he flicked your dress up to your waste. “I should’ve had you first!” Ben spits onto your exposed asshole, shocking you a bit.
You try to turn around when you hear his belt being undone. “What-”
“Shhhh” He pushes you back down on the table, freeing his hard cock. You jump when he slides a finger into your tight ring of muscle. It doesn’t feel bad, but not necessarily good, either. He begins to pump, then adds a second finger and you gasp at the intrusion. “Making me fuck’n wait till last-” You hear him spit on his free hand, beginning to jerk himself off as he begins to scissor you open.
“Ben!”
“Relax, baby, I’m not Pope, I ain’t tryna tear you open, you’ve bleed enough for one day.” You swear you hear him chuckle. What is he doing? You were confused, but also beginning to sink into the feeling of him. “They always do this to me, they always make me wait, and wait and wait just because Frank’s Pope’s favorite and Will’s ugh, Will’s older- goddamn” He stops, lining up the tip of his cock to your asshole and spitting a few more times. He was going to fuck you there?! Ben folds over, encasing your body in his warmth as he whispers in your ear. “Not this time, your ass is mine.” With that, he thrust into you, splitting your hole open as you cried out.
He laughs. “Lot louder than when Pope took you huh?”
*
Jonah found William getting a glass of wine and sipping it while watching over the party.. “I gotta talk to you.”
William doesn’t even turn to look. “Fuck off, Hanson.” 
Will did not like Jonah, he knew. Their history prevented the same rapport that he had with Santiago, but never the less, he know Will was the one for this request.
“It’s about your precious Madonna.”
With that, Will turned.
*
Benny was insatiable, thrusting into you wildly and grunting with every movement. “So- fucking-tight-god!” He shouts and it takes everything in you not to cry… but that feeling was bubbling up again, despite the discomfort, but that discomfort was slowly slipping into something else.
The slightest moan escapes.
It seems then almost that Ben reminds you’re here, that he’s not fucking a hole in a wall and chuckles. “Oh, you like this, pretty girl? I can make it better, so much better.” He wraps a strong arm around you, toying with that sensitive spot that William was playing with earlier illiciating a much louder moan from your lips.
“God baby, thats it… gonna cum like this, darl’n? Gonna cum with a cock up your ass like the dirty girl I know you are? Yeah, yeah sure sounds like it…” He replies after your sounds of pleasure grow. “Under all this white, underneath that good girl act and that sweet little face, I knew, I just fucking KNEW your little virgin cunt was begging to get fucked, desperate for cock, huh?” His hips begin to falter, growing more sloppy. “Well now you got 4 cocks desperate to fill you up, to put our baby inside you first, fuck, you gonna be able to handle all that?
You can’t even reply, a mess of moans under his body. 
He grabs your hair, yanking you up to look at him. “ANSWER ME!”
“YES!” You scream, so close to spilling over but not quite there, needy and whimpering for him. “I can take it! I want it! I want you all, all the time!”
“I know, darl’n girl, I know, f-fuck, ugghh fuck!”
 Pulling out of your ass, you almost whine for him, whine for more, but he thrusts it into your pussy last minute. The intrusion sends you over, clamping down hard on him as he spills into you. “Yeaahh, that’s it, thats- oh my god, perfect little pussy- fuck!” When he finishes inside you, his warmth is all over you again, staying there for a moment with his cock plugged inside you. “Gotta make sure to cum inside your little pussy every time, no matter how good your ass or mouth feel. Can’t waste a drop.”
He caressing your arm as his body language softens, nuzzling his face into your hair. “So good, pretty girl. So fucking perfect.”
*
“She needs someone looking after her.” Jonah insists. “She’s just a kid.”
Will is dismissive, but behind his eyes hide curiosity. “That’s what you and security are for.”
Jonah signs. “Okay, listen, I’ll be honest here.”
“You sure that’s a good idea?”
“You ain’t fond of me, that’s a given. I get it. But let’s be clear.” Jonah drops his voice low. “Frank’s been mentally checked out all day. He don’t want nothing to do with this. Ben’s a -”
“Watch it.”
Jonah rephrased his next words. “He’s not gentle. He’s not careful, and when he’s high he flat out dangerous, and he buys into this whole delusion and so does Santiago. Santiago is worse, he’s delusional and can flip like a fucking switch. She needs someone to help her navigate them. That needs to be you.”
Will didn’t say anything, but from the way his brows were furrowed, Jonah new he planted a seed. 
“Look, here she comes with Ben, she’s fucking stumbling, Will. Go take care of your wife.”
*
It hurt.
It was hard to walk like this, but Ben’s arms were tight around you. You felt strangely safe like this, like he was going to be there from now on.
“What the hell did you do to her, Ben?”
“Relaaaaax” Ben waved off his brother. “She’s fine.”
Will didn’t buy it.
“Pope got her pussy, I got her ass.” He shrugged.
Disgust spread across his features. “You did anal? With no lube? Jesus Ben!”
“RELAX!” Ben raised his hands in defense. 
Will hushed him. “That’s enough for tonight, I’m taking you to bed.”
And that was that. Will’s arm replaced Ben’s and quickly guided you out the door again. Once out of sight, Will scooped you right out. “Ain’t having you walk like that, babygirl. ‘Slright, just rest.” And rest you did, clinging to him and laying your head on his firm chest. You felt like you were almost asleep when he laid you on the bed.
Like how he cared for you before, he cared again, undressing you with a gentle strength.
“Lay down, lemme make sure your okay.” The worry in his voice made your heart sing.
“I’m alright, I promise.” You whisper, but spread your legs anyway.
He tsks his tongue. “Poor little girl… you’re alright, but I know it must hurt, doesn’t it?”
You swallow thickly, nervous with his face so close to your core. “Um… it’s a little sore, I guess…” 
“I bet… but it wasn’t all bad, was it?”
“N-no, it wasn’t…”
“I can see that…” A thick finger swipes up your slit. “Got all wet, didn’t you? You sure are easy to work up…”
You shutter at the touch, a little achy but still desiring him. How could you not? How could you not want him when he spoke to you so low, so careful? When carried you and cleaned you and dressed you… he was perfect, fucking perfect.
“Poor little girl…” William spoke in a deeper tone, planting a kiss to your clit and making you whimper. “Gotta be at the beck and call for four men… that can’t be easy, but you’ve been taking it so well…” His fingers move up and down your folds, spreading your cum and the new slick trickling down.
“It’s, mmmm it’s my honor to be found worthy…” You sit up on your elbows, curious as to his actions.
“And worthy you are, Madonna.” His lips glazed over your flesh. “Bless are you, among women” His hand on your stomach. “and blessed is the fruit of your womb.” You watch William, knelt before you, hovering with his mouth open above your waiting mound.
You whisper, “Please”
He whispers equally soft. “As you wish.”
When William latched his mouth onto you, it’s unlike anything you’ve felt before, although you can’t say you’ve felt much. His mouth is hot, wet, messy as he licks you, tongue and lips moving in tandem, like a well practiced team with the sole purpose of reducing you to a whimpering mess.
“W-Will, oh that… oh my god-”
But he didn’t stop, latching his tongue to your clit as his fingers entered you, and despite the overstimulation of the day, compared to the large phalluses that had breached your core, his fingers merely provided pleasurable stimulation. His free-hand remained busy as well, taking your private moment to explore the rest of your body. You didn’t understand what pleasure he could find in your thighs, your stomach, or playing with your fingers, but you relished in his closeness, the emotional and physical and sexual intimacy compared to the coldness of the deflowering. 
But it had to happen this way, you thought as your hips bucked; William had begun swirling his tongue around your clit, causing a surge in pleasure. This afternoon was a ritual; systematic, calculated, precise. There was no room for intimacy, for love. But you’d seen it now. You’d seen it in the way Pope danced with you, in the way Ben caressed you after sex and praised you, the way Will touched you now… the only thing missing was Frankie.
It wasn’t long before Will had to gushing on his face, crying out his name in a hedonistic moan, a orgasm so blinding that the revelation that you existed to pleasure and be pleasured by these men until you were swollen with child seemed like a gift of godhood itself.
He pulled three more out of you before he was satisfied, making come on his face and fingers thrice before your final orgasm was only singled by an tired “Mmmmmmmph” and your contracting walls. Finally, he pulls back. You can’t see him, eyes too tired they won’t open, but you imagine his beard is glistening with the way he soaks you when he kisses you cheek.
When you’re situated in bed, where you can only assume is your room, you ask Will to stay, ask him to hold you while you fall asleep. He obliges.
You feel dwarfed in his grasp his body so large it makes you feel small, but also secure. You don’t have to be brave, you don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to think or to worry. Everything would be taken care of for you, you’d give birth to the savior and how many other children, and redeem your family name from your fathers betrayal. You would find redemption in this house, right alongside love, family, and maybe even friendship for the first time since you were twelve…
Everything was falling into place.
So why didn’t it seem like Francisco loved you?
*
Knock knock.
“Honey?”
Knock knock knock
“Honey you in there?”
Jonah. 
“One moment!”
You open your groggy eyes and take a look around the room, finding a luxurious, long, white robe on the dresser. You put it on, covering your nakedness, and timidly open the door.
“Yes?” Jonah stood before you, gun slung on his hip as usual.
He looks sympathetic. “Sorry to wake you, but Santiago wants to see you, I’m here to escort you.”
Hearing someone refer to Pope as his given name is jarring, but something about Jonah is just… very different. He seemed so serious when talking to you about safety, about making sure only his most trustworthy men watched you and how determined he seemed at the balcony… but it seemed he took everything else so unserious to him.
You didn’t like that he referred to your husband by his name, it was much too informal, but you cared about Jonah, so you don’t mention it.
After dressing, Jonah takes you down stairs. You’re thankful for him, the house is too big for you to know your way yet.
“How you feeling?” 
“About what?” You ask genuinely.
Jonah turns to you, a curious look on his face. “About… everything. Yesterday was a big day. A lot happened.”
Of course a lot happened. You were still leaking their cum. “Nothing that Divine Mother didn’t intend.” You say as if its obvious.
He sighs. “Right.”
Pope was waiting outside the door of the intended room. His smile grew when he saw you, walking over to place a hand on your cheek and kiss you. “Good morning, my beautiful wife.”
Wife… something so magical about that word.
Pope thanks Jonah and dismisses him, turning you to the doorway and opening it. “I have a surprise for you, bebita.”
When the door opens, you gasp as you’re led inside. Canvases fill the room as did papers, paints, pencils… 
“How… how did you know…” You whisper in awe, your heart swelling at the gesture. He loved you, he really loved you and wanted you to be happy here. You were so lucky, so lucky to be adored like this, to be adored by him especially. Pope had worked his way deep into your heart in a matter of days. He was everything to you now, he was your world. You belonged to him, every single inch of your heart, your body, your mind, your faith was him.
“I’m the god of love, I know what mi amada needs… I’ll always know.” He stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your body, the body that belongs to him, and kisses your neck. “I can’t wait to see what you paint, Madonna…” 
***************
PLEASE TELL ME UR THOUGHTS I THRIVE ON PRAISE
I feel like im doing ass at writing Ben here. I my normal fics on my main he's a consent king and so so so so soft so this is strange to me. BUT he can be tender and loving, dont you worry
SO, THE GENERAL CONCENSOUS IS YOU ALL WANNA FUCK JONAH. Lmfao, horny sluts. HE'S OUR FATHER FIGURE. Imagine having daddy issues. COULDNT BE ME (this is a joke lol)
But! Thoughts on Iris, and our new boy, Reyansh?
Not a super eventful chapter and i felt like Madonna have said like 10 words this whole fic but this has been the set up, now we can move forward! If you read TWW, LO was practically silent for the first few chapters.
Now they ceremony is done and she's married and already v attached and brainwashed.
How to keep up with the story!
Comment on this masterlist that you want to be tagged and I'll tag you in updates (If you ask to be tagged, I ask you at least like the fic. Likes dont do anything to spread the work, but it at least lets me know you're still reading.)
Follow @romana-updates and/turn on notifications
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@hon3yboy @winniethewife @femmeanonymelives @yorksgirl @pockcock @neverwheremoonchild @casa-boiardi @meveispunk @survivingandenduring @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @obscurexsorrows @hellfire-state-of-mind @christinamadsen @pimosworld @princessanglophile @rubyfruitjungle @simple-lovebot @missdictatorme @campingwiththecharmings @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @javier-penas-wifexx420 @stefani-topaz @alwaysmicado@mjnomaryjane @incorrectclassicbookquotes @axshadows @ghostslillady @movievillainess721 @justagalwhowrites @charethcutestory02 @pixielou5 @gogh-with-the-flow @justafandomgvrl @katw474 @loveable-liar @arrozconpepitoria @minigirl87 @runa-falls @pedge-page @angel-of-the-moons @beefrobeefcal @pixielou5 @miraclesabound @oliveksmoked @mjnomaryjane @bubble-pop-eclectic @corazondebeskar-reads @charethcutestory02 @pedroshotwifey
If I forgot someone or you'd like to be added/removed LMK!
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ievaxol · 4 months
Text
fire lick these bones
“You fool.”
Francel tries his very best not to let the exasperation bleed into his voice as he carefully drapes a thick blanket over Haurchefant’s shoulders. Haurchefant grins broadly in response and fails to grasp Francel’s hand when he tries; a sure sign that he is more affected than he should like to admit.
His dear friend had been near collapse when the search party finally found him, stubbornly wading through snow drifts in the direction of Camp Dragonhead while muttering about endurance and duty. It took three men to carry him inside Francel’s sitting room where he’d been thawing out ever since with Francel fluttering around him, caught between stark rage and blinding fear.
“More the fool if I were to abandon my calling!” Haurchefant slurs, his body wrecked by shivers.
Francel clucks his tongue and adjusts the blanket with a critical eye, keeping up appearances despite the unease churning in his gut. He knows all too well how important the knight’s calling is to Haurchefant — he just wished that the man would not be so reckless in serving it.
The conversation has been had a hundred times before though. He already knows what the man would respond. Bastards can’t afford not to be reckless, Haurchefant would say with a glint in his eyes, Francel on of few he’d speak that candidly with. A knight lives to serve and must always strive to better himself, especially so when faced with disadvantage right from the start.
“I’ll feed the fire and make you some tea now that you’ve warmed some,” Francel says, preparing to leave when Haurchefant finally manages to grab hold of his hand.
“Francel, you’re my oldest friend.”
Haurchefant’s bright eyes soften at the edges. He’s still smiling — always smiling — and for some reason Francel cannot discern he doesn’t want to hear whatever it is he’s about to say.
“And I’m honoured to be,” Francel replies carefully.
A terrible premonition lurks at the edges of the room, hiding in its shadows. He thinks of the boy who plunged a knife into the chest of a bandit to save his life and finds that even if he tries to pull his hand away from Haurchefant, the knight holds him fast.
“Do you ever feel like you’re about to run out of time?”
Francel looks away from him.
“Don’t — that would be the hypothermia speaking, Haurchefant. Let’s get you warmed up and back en route home, don’t you agree? Don’t say such things. There’s plenty of time, isn’t there?”
Haurchefant’s fingers twitch around his hand as he ponders Francel’s response. It envelops his the same now as it did back then; strong and sure in its grip. Little by little Haurchefant lets go of him, slumping back in the armchair with a nod.
As he kneels to tend the fire Francel thinks about the things he’s heard of the Warrior of Light, dread curling bitter and sick behind his teeth. He fears that this time it will not be a simple bandit Haurchefant needs to defend a friend from and in front of the flames he shoots a prayer to Halone;
Don’t take him from us, oh Fury. Don’t let his time run out just yet.
(anyone remember this drabble from over a year back? this is a reworked version of that one. it was a lot of fun to do!)
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Text
Words from the Gods 2 - Dreams
I was kind of waffling for a bit over whether or not to start this series with the Signs of the Gods or Dreams of the Gods, and finally decided on dreams, because those are kind of unavoidable, and happen when you're at your most vulnerable - being asleep.
One of the biggest problems I see online is that there is a lot of significance placed on dreams, sometimes too much. Because sleep is such a vulnerable time (and because our subconscious can cook up some weird shit while we're sleeping), dreams can sometimes feel like they have meaning, and then freak us out because it was scary, or because the meaning isn't discernible (and what if it's important?). But the thing is, even though the ancient Greeks did still place some level of importance on dreams, we shouldn't be hyperanalyzing every dream that comes through our minds on a nightly basis. I've had some weird dreams in my life, and generally if a dream is coming from the Gods, there are some major differences.
To start, I'm going to lay out a dream that I had which was sent from Dionysos (figured through discerning and some light divination), and explain the full process of figuring out what it meant:
In this dream, I was in the middle of a forest of oak and pine, similar to the forests that exist where I live. There were a bunch of people around me, incredibly happy, and I just knew that they were there to worship Dionysos, as I was there to do as well. I remembered passing by a young oak tree that had monarch cocoons painted on its leaves, and then going into a house, where everyone was sharing a meal, pouring libations at a shrine to Dionysos, and reading from a book. One of the women took me over to the book, where there was one word written on the page that I could see: "alcohol", and said something to the effect of "this is not the only side of the God". After that, I woke up.
The first thing that distinguished this as an Important Dream as opposed to an Unimportant Dream was that I could still remember the whole "plot" of the dream after waking up, and as is shown here, even to this day (I had this dream in August or September of last year, right around the time I started this account). I'm not sure how rare this is, but I never remember my dreams, and it seems like a lot of my friends also don't remember their dreams, so I'm going to guess that remembering dreams regularly is a lot less common than just forgetting them upon waking. Of all the dreams that I have had, only the important ones have actually stuck in my head.
The second thing which helped me discern this dream as being Important was the combination of easily understandable symbolism, and direct application to my life at the time. At the time I had that dream, I was in fact turning to alcohol as the primary way through which I communicated with and worshiped Dionysos. I hadn't quite grasped that it was a problem until the dream, however, and afterwards started to work on moving away from drinking as my only way of worshiping Dionysos. Obviously I still did and still do drink occasionally, but not as much, nor as worryingly. I also started drinking with other people, instead of on my own. From that also came my inspiration to start this account, as I realized that worship was better done in community as opposed to sitting alone, keeping everything to myself.
The third thing which helped me discern The Dream was my own workings through prayer and divination, basically going straight to the one that I thought was the source, and asking Him myself what it might mean. And honestly, I would make "prayer and divination" the first thing to do if you have a dream which feels like it may be divinely inspired. If you have questions, the Gods will answer - They're not trying to make our lives insanely difficult, and They know that we are mortals trying our best.
So that's my essay on the meanings of dreams. I've only had two dreams that were sent from Dionysos, so this is drawing off of limited experience, but even with the limited experience, I think it's still good that people hear about those personal experiences, and how to go about with discerning these things. If you ever have any questions, please feel free to ask me! My inbox and DMs are always open for questions if you have any, and I'm always more than happy to answer questions and talk about literally anything!
The next segment I'm going to work on will be about signs, and how to figure out whether or not what you see is simply some weird mundane stuff, or something divinely sent.
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actual-bill-potts · 1 year
Note
i just read your finrod-re-embodiment prompt fill and I'm having all the emotions </3 (loved it a lot, I will re-read this so often, I already know that!)
For another Finrod-related prompt: anything about his friendship with Turgon, maybe?
(I'm very partial to any "Finrod survives and is brought to Gondolin for some reason"-aus, if you need more incentive, but I'd be happy about anything! From fluffy early childhood in Valinor days, to "where did my best friend vanish to I miss him"-angst.)
-finnritter
Turgon had once loved the Eagles of Beleriand: the hope they represented, the promise that the Noldor were not completely abandoned by the Valar. He still trusted them, and honored them for their help. But ever since they had come bearing his father's body, he could no longer feel joy at their coming. His father's chest had been crushed in; blood had encrusted his mouth and run down his neck; the bones of his legs had been shattered beyond repair. His death must have been agony.
Nothing would ever erase the sight from his mind, and no matter how he tried he could not stop wondering: if you could bear my father away from that battle, why did you wait until he was dead? Perhaps it was a disloyal thought, to the Eagles who had indeed risked much to retrieve his father's body, and to his father who would have been furious to have been ripped from the battle he had chosen; but he did not care.
So when he saw an Eagle circling, and was able to discern a limp body clutched in its claws, his only thought was: not again. And then as the Eagle descended, he caught a white-gold flash of hair and began running for the hill-top on which they customarily landed, heedless of his startled guards or the flashes on concerned recognition on the faces of his people. His mind was wiped clean of all but a burning urgency. He was aware of a cresting wave of grief, growing in strength in a corner of his mind - but he would not mourn until he was sure. He would not. He would not.
He reached the top of the hill just seconds after the Eagle landed, his hair blowing back by the wind from its wings. He bowed hastily and then hastened closer.
The Eagle had deposited its burden on the ground, a bloody heap of rags and limbs in disarray. The one ear visible through a tangled mass of dirtied golden hair was cruelly torn.
This was not Finrod. Surely it could not be Finrod. Finrod was motion and laughter, beauty and song, always arrayed in gauze and gems; this Elf had had misery carved into the jagged lines of his bones.
The Eagle bowed its head to him. The Lord of Wolves has suffered a great defeat, it said in rasping Eagle-speech, and left this one behind. We recognized him.
With that it departed, and Turgon with shaking hands reached out and rolled the body onto its back.
The delicate lines of Finrod's face stared back at him, thin and bloodied and so very, very still.
But there is not room for another monument next to Atar's, Turgon thought, miserably and inconsequentially. There was a great scream building in his throat, but he could not let it out. I shall have to find another spot. Perhaps I will have it encrusted with pearls. He would like that. His head was pounding. He could not move. He could not speak.
Footsteps behind him; his retinue had arrived. "My King!" Culúrien in the lead said; then, sounding astonished, "What has happened? Who is that? We must summon the healers! Cyruion, Eruion, go the healers' wing and tell them to come at once to the Eagles' Hill! Go, now!"
The sound of the chosen messengers retreated quickly, but Turgon took no notice. "There is no need, Culúrien," he forced out, "he is dead, do you not see?"
"But he is not dead!" Culúrien exclaimed. "My King, he breathes!"
It could not be. He had prayed for this, when he saw Elenwë's still body, and Aredhel's, and his father's. His prayers had never been answered.
But now he was looking for it, he could see it: the faintest rising and falling of Finrod's chest. His head spun.
But there is so much blood, he thought, how can he be alive?
Finrod's chest continued to rise and fall. Suddenly his hand twitched - Turgon saw with a flash of nausea that it was mangled, the white of bone shining oddly through his palm - and he let out a quiet cry.
Turgon was not entirely aware of having moved, but he was suddenly kneeling at Finrod's side, one hand in his friend's filthy hair.
"It will be all right," he said, like a prayer. "It will be all right. My dear friend, you will be all right."
Finrod's lips moved, soundlessly. Then his eyes opened.
"Turgon...?" he breathed. "There was...an Eagle..."
"Yes," Turgon said, "The Eagle brought you here, to my city. To Gondolin. Here you will be safe. Just - hold on. Don't try to move," he added hastily, seeing Finrod gathering himself as if to sit up.
Finrod stilled, breathing harshly. "Wouldn't...dream of it..." he said.
Behind him, Turgon heard the approaching footsteps. "The healers are here, Finrod," he said gently, and moved to get up.
But Finrod reached out with his undamaged hand, hissing through his teeth as he did so. "Please," he said, voice growing fainter with every word, "Please - don't leave. My friend - I have missed you."
"I won't leave," Turgon said, and meant it. He grasped Finrod's undamaged hand, and held it as the healers lifted Finrod onto a litter and bore him back to the city; as they bandaged his wounds and set his broken bones, and stitched together the deep marks of teeth and claws all over his shoulders and chest; and he was holding Finrod's hand when his friend woke next.
Finrod's smile, now lopsided by a scar that split his upper lip, was still as brilliant as he remembered; and the pressure of his fingers, though thinner and more bare of rings than Turgon had ever seen, was a warm and familiar weight.
"I am relieved," Turgon said, "that I no longer need to order an absurd amount of pearls for your burial mound."
Finrod frowned slightly. "What?"
"Oh, nothing," Turgon returned, and laughed. Something within him that had been frozen since his father's death seemed to be cracking open, flooding his chest with light.
He laughed again, because he could. It felt like a miracle.
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naavispider · 1 year
Note
Wait, what would happen if Spider had a night terror in the Caught!timeline? I feel like it’d bamboozle Quaritch to hear screams of terror that are not caused by him
Nope ✋🏻 don't need to think about it! Much less write about it!!! Okay you twisted my leg
Quaritch changed the hand he was holding the large coffee mug with. The hot liquid was a perfect antidote to the stresses of the day. He nodded as he entered the surveillance room at the tech who was on duty. By his order, someone had to watch Miles at all times.
"What's the latest?" he asked interestedly, wanting to know if Miles had decided to throw any more food or objects around the room, or even better yet, come up with a new way to antagonise them.
The young soldier looked away from the screens to give a brief run down of the previous four hours. "Nothing much to report, he's been sleeping a lot. The effects of the Pavlov Cuff have drained him. He's pretty exhausted."
"Hmm," Quaritch replied noncommittally. He surveyed Miles's sleeping form through the tinted glass of the mirror, his eyes narrowing in thought at where to go from here. They'd made a good start today, but he needed the kid broken fast. The mission was time-sensitive. Sully had already appeared to have fled the reef clans.
Instinctively, he looked at the clock. 22:51. "You on till 11?" he asked the soldier.
"Yes sir," came the reply, as the soldier's eyes also darted to the clock.
"Stand down, I got it from here."
The man's eyes widened minutely before he composed his tired features into a grateful expression. "Thank you, sir," he said, gathering his infopad and cup of tea. "Harris will be here in a couple of minutes."
Quaritch nodded as the soldier left, deep in thought about how best to chip away at the kid's psyche. Ardmore wanted efficiency and speed, and Quaritch was going to deliver results, whatever it took.
He took a seat on a table in the small room. The lights were off in here, but in Miles's cell they'd kept them on deliberately at a mid level lux. He took a long sip of the sweet coffee, letting it warm his insides as he stared at his son.
Miles was asleep against the wall; he hadn't even bothered to move back to the rudimentary bed. His face was twisted - contorted into a deep frown. Whatever he was dreaming about didn't look fun.
Quaritch took another sip.
From behind the glass, a grunt escaped Miles's lips. He closed his eyes tighter in sleep, arms twitching against the unpleasant dream. "Kehe, kehe rutxe..."
Quaritch couldn't understand the words, but as he heard them, his heart sank deeper. The kid even dreamt in Na'vi. He was totally assimilated into their culture. The levels of conditioning ran deep - this was going to be a long process.
Suddenly, Miles cried out. "Ftang nga!" His shriek pierced through the glass, making Quaritch almost spill his coffee. He set the mug down and leant forwards, the better to watch what the hell was going on.
Miles was having some kind of night terror. He thrashed his arm out, hitting the wall and catching the bandage that covered his bleach burn. The catheter caught on the leg of the bunk, and Quaritch could see blood leaking from where it had been dislodged. Jesus kid, calm down, he thought as he stared. It was fascinating to watch.
The moment he thought that, he regretted it as another piercingly loud cry wrent the air. It looked like tears were leaking from under Miles's eyelids and he finally seemed to shock himself awake. He gasped, looking around the cell as if for the antagonist of his nightmare.
I'm over here, kid, Quaritch thought. Just beyond your reach.
Morning would fix that, he thought as Miles crawled his way into the bunk, lying down in the fetal position while gently rocking himself. A moment later, and Quaritch discerned a quiet string of words, this time spoken awake and purposefully.
Pamtseol ngop ayrenut
Mì ronsemä tìfnu
Tengfya ngop säftxuyul
Mì hifkey.
At first, Quaritch thought it was a prayer. But as he listened closer over the audio, it sounded more like a song - or some bullshit Na'vi attempt at one. If it was any other day, Quaritch would have pressed the buzzer for the Pavolv Cuff right then and there. As it was, he was tired, and he also needed Miles to get at least some sleep before they tried again in the morning. He watched for a few more minutes, until Miles's soft voice quietened until he could hear it no more.
When Harris entered the dark room a minute later, Quaritch found he wouldn't have minded taking the whole shift, if only just to stare at his son for a little while longer.
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orthodoxadventure · 8 months
Note
Hey, I'm curious about your faith journey. What are some steps and prayers you're using for discernment and what first made you star inquiring Orthodoxy? May God bless you and your discernment :)
When I was first looking into Christianity, I didn't have a lot of background into Catholicism or Orthodoxy. I put Orthodoxy to the side because of some misunderstandings I had where I thought it was very much something for Eastern Europeans or so on. But nonetheless, I still followed some Orthodox Christians on social media platforms. So even while I was undergoing RCIA, I was still getting exposure to Orthodox views on various topics.
While I was running my Catholic Tumblr, I began reading Saint Basil the Great, Saint John Chrysostom, and about the early Church. I can only best describe the experience I had whilst reading these particular authors and texts was the distinct sense of Orthodoxy. I felt like I was reading about the Orthodox Church. This was something that greatly troubled me. I loved Catholicism, and admitting to myself that there was a draw to Orthodoxy felt like I was betraying God and everyone around me.
It was only when I moved to my new city, that I began once again getting a strong draw to Orthodoxy. Everywhere I looked and turned, there I was greeted with the Orthodox Church. I was also began to realise that a lot of the things I thought I knew about Orthodoxy were simply misconceptions. And a lot of the walls that I had built up against Orthodoxy, simply came crumbling down. E.G. Orthodoxy is very much not just for Eastern Europeans, the Orthodox Church is for each and every one of us, regardless of our background. We do not need to be Greek or Romanian or Russian etc to consider Orthodoxy or start attending an Orthodox Church.
And now that I was in a city, there was actually an Orthodox Church I could attend - which I couldn't in my old town. I think I just managed to make peace with the idea that I wasn't betraying God by having an interest in Orthodox Christianity. And that gave me the courage to reach out to the Orthodox Priest here who invited me to come along. Something that also helped, was the fact that I actually knew someone that attended the Church here. Which in a lot of ways is funny, I had brought him to an Eastern Catholic Mass and by the time I started inquiring into Orthodoxy, we had long lost contact with each other. But he was the first to really welcome me to Orthodoxy, and it made going to Liturgy for the first time less scary.
I was also a lot more open to Orthodoxy. I wasn't trying to actively fight and resist it. And I began to view Orthodoxy on its own terms, instead of trying to understand Orthodox viewpoints solely through the lens of the Roman Catholic Church.
--
The first step I took was to email the local Orthodox Priest, and explain my situation. He arranged for someone to help me feel settled in whilst attending the Liturgy for the first time, as well as recommended me to read The Orthodox Church by Kallistos Ware.
But the first proper step I took, was to actually attend Liturgy. Faith is very much a real and living thing. It's not just words on a page. As my Orthodox friend would put it, the best thing you can do is "come and see for yourself". You can only grasp so much from reading texts or watching videos or pondering topics over in your head.
From here on out, I'm just trying to read through introductory texts to Orthodoxy as well as following what my Priest recommends. Establishing a prayer rule is incredibly helpful. Which leads on to your next question. For a short period, I was using the Rule of Prayer from this pdf. But right now, I have switched to praying an Akathist to Saint Xenia.
So if you are also contemplating Orthodoxy, I would very much recommend you contact your local Priest for recommendations (if there is more than one Orthodox Church near you, then feel free to contact them all). Kallistos Ware's books 'The Orthodox Church' and 'The Orthodox Way' would also be recommended. But absolutely prioritise anything that the Priest recommends you.
Thank you so much for the kind words also. God bless you!
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childofchrist1983 · 9 months
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Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. - Philippians 2:5-11 KJV
Jesus Christ was and is already equal with God, possessing all of the same Divine attributes possessed by God the Father and the Holy Spirit. Therefore, it would be no "robbery" if He came into the world and demanded all men immediately serve Him and worship Him as God.
But instead, He came more "humbly" into this world. He made Himself of no reputation and became as it were a servant (verse 7). He left us an example of humility that we ought to emulate. Jesus didn't come into the world to be served, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many. May He help us to learn true humility from His example left to us in the Holy Bible. He always submitted to the Heavenly Father, even to the point of enduring the pain and agony of the cross. May He help us to endure all things with joy that God has made our lot to bear, knowing that it will turn to our benefit in the end.
Thank God for His strength and guidance when we are faced with sin. Thank Him for His mercy and grace. Through Bible study and prayer, God reveals His wisdom and guides us to see opportunities to grow closer to Him and grow spiritually. He gives us direction to live our lives according to His Holy Word and will. We must make God top priority everyday! May we be motivated to spread God's Holy Word and Gospel Truth to all the Earth, knowing that it is the only hope of all those lost in their sins. Let us not hold out a false hope for men to be saved without the Gospel, but instead, strive to do our part to get the Gospel out to a lost and dying world. As hymn writer Isaac Watts put it, "Send Thy victorious Word abroad and bring the strangers home!"
Leaning on Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ through prayer and His Holy Word and Spirit strengthens us and our knowledge and wisdom about God and His Gospel Truth, exposing these imposters. May God help us to seek and lean on Him daily to gain the strength, wisdom and spiritual discernment needed to expose Satan and his imposters who seek to destroy us and God's ultimate Truth. Everyday, we must remember to share Jesus Christ's Gospel Truth with the world and to thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for the grace that He poured out for us on the cross at Calvary. He has freed us from the burdens of sin and from the eternal damnation of Hell. In all we say and do, may all praise, honor and glory always be given to Him and His Kingdom of Heaven.
With renewed minds, hearts and wills, let us serve Him humbly and faithfully out of pure love and grateful rejoicing. May He remind us of His presence and to remain at peace, fully knowing that all will be well because He is always with us. Let us seek Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ today and everyday with all our heart and being, looking for His love, light and will for our lives with each step we take. Let us seek to please Him with our thoughts, words, and deeds and seek to advance His Kingdom of Heaven and His glory with our lives. Let us seek Him from a pure and humble heart, and when we so seek, we believe Him and His promise that we will find. May He help us all to be more sensitive to the teaching ministry of His Holy Word and Spirit, relying on Him and allowing Him to speak to us and guide us every step of our Christian journey.
God gave us the Holy Bible - His living and Holy Word - to let us know of Him and His abiding love and care as well as guide and prepare us for all our lives. May He help us encourage one another as we continue our walk with Him and our duty to Him daily. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for being present for all our new beginnings and all our lives. May He redirect any anxiety we feel as He provides countless opportunities for growth and change. May we humble ourselves before God always, asking Him to forgive our sins and make our hearts and lives anew through His Holy Word and Spirit. May He help us make Him and His Holy Word top priority, so we can grow spiritually and grow in our relationship with Him as we apply it to our daily lives. Thank God that we can focus on Him and everything about Him, for that is what keeps us sane and at peace. May our words and actions always be a reflection of Him and His Holy Word and Spirit and will.
May He help us to always walk in His grace and Holy Spirit, not by our own measure. May He give us the humble humility to know that our freedom and eternal salvation is found only in Him, so that His grace may sustain us, and we may never lose sight of His love and light and mercy. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for calling us to Him and to serve Him. May He equip us to do all that He has called us to do so that as He works through us, He may use us to produce fruit, to reach others, and to encourage all brothers and sisters in Christ. May He work all of these things in us and through us for His Kingdom and His glory. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for all His creation, for His miraculous ways and for everything He does and has done for us! Keep the faith and keep moving forward in your walk with Jesus! He loves us and He knows what is best for us. Seek, follow and trust in Him - Always!
Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for His Holy Word and for sending His Holy Spirit so that we might have His grace, not only to awaken us and transform our hearts in our spiritual rebirth and guarantee our eternity with Him, but to also call upon Him whenever we are in need. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for all the reminders of His love and mercy and faithfulness within His Holy Word. He is bigger than any challenge or circumstance in our lives. Knowing this within our minds and our hearts, nothing can deter our faith in Him and His Truth. May we all accept Him and His eternal gift of salvation and ask that He would transform our hearts and lives according to His will and ways. Thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for His Holy Spirit who saves, seals and leads us. May we always thank Father God Almighty and the LORD Jesus Christ for His almighty power and saving grace. For He is our strength, and He alone is able to save us, forgive our sins and gift us eternal salvation and entry into His Kingdom of Heaven.
May we make sure that we give our hearts and lives to God and take time to seek and praise Him and share His Truth with the world daily. May the LORD our God and Father in Heaven help us to stay diligent and obedient and help us to guard our hearts in Him and His Holy Word daily. May He help us to remain faithful and full of excitement to do our duty to Him and for His glorious return and our reunion in Heaven as well as all that awaits us there. May we never forget to thank the LORD our God and our Creator and Father in Heaven for all this and everything He does and has done for us! May we never forget who He is, nor forget who we are in Christ and that God is always with us! What a mighty God we serve! What a Savior this is! What a wonderful LORD, God, Savior and King we have in Jesus Christ! What a loving Father we have found in Almighty God! What a wonderful God we serve! His will be done!
Thanks and glory be to God! Blessed be the name of the LORD! Hallelujah and Amen!
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angeltreasure · 5 months
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Cecilia here, welcome back dear! I am glad to hear your retreat went well and that you got some clarification on what happened. Reading through what you shared jeez Mr. Wicked One was messing with you big time, I don't care to use his name. I'm glad that the sisters could help clear it up, and that you had a wonderful time. I also saw the adoration chapel you went to in the video, it's beautiful! The bells ringing too and was there someone singing or was that echoes of the bells? Either way I'm glad you're doing well, you're always in my prayers. The reading today about our bodies being temples of the Spirit was the same one at the Church tonight I went to, and the Priest was a new younger man who I could tell was on fire with the Spirit, guessing he's fresh from Seminary. Talked a little with him after Mass, he suggested I learn about St. Martin of Tours, don't know much about him yet. I hope the peace and solace you found stay with you for a while to come, God Bless you Angel! I'll be visiting a Franciscan order of Sisters here in February and got the time off work already scheduled, I'm hoping that it goes well, it's more contemplative from what orders I've seen thus far from what I understand. The orders I've seen are mostly active, and mostly educators. Wondering if God's tugging me a more contemplative way even though I'm pretty social by nature. This order of sisters does a lot with the homeless and college students with a heavy focus on Adoration and praying Rosary alongside focus on the Cross. Have a wonderful Epiphanytide/Ordinary time before Lent comes!
Hi Cecilia!! Thank you so much. 🙏🏻☺️
Yes the closest we get to God the more we make the evil one angry. Lucifer was the smartest of all God’s angels so he’ll try anything to get us down. He knows how to take the form of anyone without needing a doppelganger. I’ve never had a direct conversation with the evil one before. I’m glad the Sister could help me through processing what it took place and reassured me I’m ok with them. I needed to know just in case. Thank you! The singing you heard with the bells were the nuns chanting prayers.
I’ve read a little bit about St. Martin de Tours in my Lives of the Saints book but I don’t know much either.
Thank you so much! I definitely feel at peace. It’s going to be an amazing year no matter what happens next. I’m going to remember that experience I had.
I hope your next visit goes well! It’s so exciting to explore. Maybe keep a journal of each to list the pros and cons if you don’t already have one. It can be good to help discern over time.
May God bless you.
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thestarkerisobvious · 2 years
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The Guestmaster
incredible artwork by @mrstarksbaby​
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GUESTMASTER
As my excellent artist pointed out, this isn’t exactly Peter Paker/Dr. Strange so much as it is Peter Parker/Peter Parker.  
You’ll see.
Dedicated to @mrstarksbaby​
because he knows WHY I learned the word “Guestmaster.”
---------------------------------------------------- 
Was the Novice Peter too young to be promoted to Obedientiary?? 
Probably.
But now that Brother Stephen had been made Archemandrite by Queen Wanda, no one dared question his orders, no matter how strange.  Or sudden.  
And that was why Novice Peter was now in charge of every guest monk, friar, priest or pilgrim that came to their remote monastery.  
Did the Novice Peter readily agree to take on the role of Obedientiary?  Oh yes, most certainly.
Did the Novice Peter understand what the word “Obedientiary” meant?  
No.  Not at all.  He only caught the “Obedient” part, and, well...
...well Peter had been hoping that title meant that he would be “obeying” Brother Strange…  
...obeying him… on a more personal level…
                                Little Lord Peter
Peter’s first day at the monastery was full of so much joy and wonder, of such an overwhelming feeling of belonging.  It was a day Peter never wanted to forget.  For Peter, entering the tall gray walls of the monastery was a lot like entering heaven.
Peter was the fifth son (or sixth son, or seventh son, depending on who you asked) of a wealthy lord.  HIs world was full of amazing possibilities - of rooms full of books, of learned people willing to tutor him in any subject or language, as well as sturdy knights with amerable qualities that were equally willing to teach.
Peter was well cared for and well liked.  He took to reading and writing as a serpent took to water, with amazing speed and remarkable agility.  His father and mother were certainly happy to allow him to seek a career in the clergy.
But Peter was also remarkably agile on horseback, and could handle a lance and sword with remarkable strength and agility for a boy of his size.  Many predicted he would easily obtain knighthood and win much honor upon the battlefield.
But as Peter approached his 18th year a strange malady overtook him, sending him to his bed for days on end.
It seemed the boy was either mad or under some magical enchantment.  When he was well cleaned and well fed and well rested he would dress and rise, hale and sound, and walk to his castle window…
…only to find himself transfixed, as immobile as a statute.  There were simply too many choices before him.  Too many books to read.  Too many languages to learn.  Too many styles of script to master.  Too many handsome, rugged (and very devoted) knights to squire under.  Too many trades to master.  Too many paths to take.  All driving young Lord Peter back to bed.
His parents were scornful, at first.  He has been so sagacious, so discerning and nimble-witted as a child, how had he grown so dull so fast?  His brother’s openly mocked him.  His brain-pan had been so keen, how could he waste so much time now, lying abed day at night?
But as the months passed, his family became more concerned.  It was not natural, doctors and physics explained, for a man of his age to sleep day and night, but never be rested.  
And when no cure could be found for his affliction, they took him to the monastery.  They took him to Brother Strange.
Master Doctor Strange was both a very learned man and a physician of renown.  Once a very wealthy lord himself he had renounced his wealth and joined the priesthood.  Now an Abbot, he took in no more patients, but was pressed to accept Little Lord Peter due to the sizeable donation that came with him.
The moment he set foot in the monastery, Little Lord Peter knew he was home.  Around him moved monks, friars and priests in regular, ordered lines, each with a single purpose and a simple design.  Every hour at the monastery was regulated, each with prayers to read and memorize (and Peter read very fast, and memorized even faster.)
Peter’s parents weren’t completely disinclined to let him join the clergy, (nor was the monastery disinclined to admit him, when they saw the size of the donation that accompanied him.)
But when young Lord Peter stood before Brother Steven Strange, he knew he would stay in that place for the rest of his life, whether his parents would or no.  
Because of the moment Peter was led to the great books in the scriptorium.  Because of the moment when he stood in front of them and read for the tall, imposing man.  That moment.
Peter had never defied his parents before.  Could never imagine having the courage to do so.  
Not until the moment he finished reading from the great tome, the moment he looked up to see Stephen Strange looking down at him.  That’s when he knew.  If he had to defy his parents, defy his entire family, even be disowned and turned out and only able to present himself at the monastery gates as a penniless beggar?  Peter no longer cared.  The look in Brother’s Strange’s eyes made Peter ready to give up everything to join this brotherhood.
It wasn’t a look of astonishment as Peter read effortlessly from the ancient text.  Peter was used to that look.  He had been getting those looks his entire life.  Brother Stephen wasn’t even impressed, not really.  Why should he be?  He was surrounded by men who could read.
No, when Peter was finished with the passage, and looked up at Stephen Strange, he saw something entirely different in that man’s eyes.
Brother Strange looked down at Peter, and that man looked hungry.
--------------------------
TO BE CONTINUED
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8th August >> Fr. Martin's Gospel Reflections / Homilies on Matthew 14:22-36 for Tuesday, Eighteenth Week in Ordinary Time: ‘Courage! It is I’.
Tuesday, Eighteenth Week in Ordinary Time
Gospel (Except USA) Matthew 14:22-36 Jesus walks on the water.
Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he would send the crowds away. After sending the crowds away he went up into the hills by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, while the boat, by now far out on the lake, was battling with a heavy sea, for there was a head-wind. In the fourth watch of the night he went towards them, walking on the lake, and when the disciples saw him walking on the lake they were terrified. ‘It is a ghost’ they said, and cried out in fear. But at once Jesus called out to them, saying, ‘Courage! It is I! Do not be afraid.’ It was Peter who answered. ‘Lord,’ he said ‘if it is you, tell me to come to you across the water.’ ‘Come’ said Jesus. Then Peter got out of the boat and started walking towards Jesus across the water, but as soon as he felt the force of the wind, he took fright and began to sink. ‘Lord! Save me!’ he cried. Jesus put out his hand at once and held him. ‘Man of little faith,’ he said ‘why did you doubt?’ And as they got into the boat the wind dropped. The men in the boat bowed down before him and said, ‘Truly, you are the Son of God.’
Having made the crossing, they came to land at Gennesaret. When the local people recognised him they spread the news through the whole neighbourhood and took all that were sick to him, begging him just to let them touch the fringe of his cloak. And all those who touched it were completely cured.
Gospel (USA) Matthew 14:22-36 Command me to come to you on the water.
Jesus made the disciples get into a boat and precede him to the other side of the sea, while he dismissed the crowds. After doing so, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When it was evening he was there alone. Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore, was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified. “It is a ghost,” they said, and they cried out in fear. At once Jesus spoke to them, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” Peter said to him in reply, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” After they got into the boat, the wind died down. Those who were in the boat did him homage, saying, “Truly, you are the Son of God.”
After making the crossing, they came to land at Gennesaret. When the men of that place recognized him, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought to him all those who were sick and begged him that they might touch only the tassel on his cloak, and as many as touched it were healed.
Reflections (3)
(i) Tuesday, Eighteenth Week in Ordinary Time
In today’s gospel reading, we find one of many instances in the gospels of Jesus going up into the hills of Galilee by himself to pray, having sent his disciples off in a boat to the other side of the Sea of Galilee. Jesus spent a lot of time in the company of his disciples, preparing them for their future mission. Yet, he also needed to be on his own before God his Father. In such moments of quiet, personal, prayer he drew strength from his relationship with God for the work that God had given him. He was also opening himself up to God’s will for his life, seeking to discern what God was asking him to do. We too need to take time alone with the Lord in prayer, to discern his will for our lives and to receive the strength we need to take the path the Lord is calling us to take. When we turn aside by ourselves to pray, we are not turning our back on others or on the world. Rather, we are opening ourselves up to the Lord so that we can relate to others and to the world as he would. When Jesus turned aside to pray by himself, his prayer did not remove him from others. It certainly did not remove him from his disciples. In today’s gospel reading, while at prayer he became aware of his disciples struggling in the boat against a headwind, with a heavy sea. In drawing close to his Father in prayer, he was remaining close to his disciples. From his prayer, he came to them in their struggle, calling on them to have courage and eventually joining them in the boat and bringing them through the storm. Saint Paul tells us that the risen Lord is always interceding for us. His heavenly prayer brings him close to us, as his earthly prayer brought him close to his disciples. Our prayer too will bring us close to others in love. It will create an opening in our lives for the Lord to draw close to others through us.
And/Or
(ii) Tuesday, Eighteenth Week in Ordinary Time
In the gospel reading the Pharisees criticizes the disciples of Jesus for their lack of reverence for the body of traditions that had grown up around the Jewish Law, in particular the various regulations relating to the washing of hands before eating food. Jesus defends his disciples, however, by declaring that these regulations are not decisive in God’s scheme of things. What comes out of people’s mouth, what comes from their heart, is more important before God than the food that goes into people’s mouth. What comes from a person’s heart is what defines the person, not what they eat or how they eat. It is the heart that counts; we often say of people that their heart is in the right place. On one occasion in Matthew’s gospel, Jesus says, ‘Learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart’. He calls on us to have something of his own heart within us. In the beatitudes he declares blessed those who are pure in heart, those whose heart is focused on what God wants, just as the heart of Jesus was. Jesus seems to suggest that if we get the heart right, if our heart is like his heart, then all else will follow. Getting the heart right is above all the work of the Holy Spirit. It is the Spirit who creates within us a heart that is truly Christ-like. One of the most beautiful prayers in the church’s tradition is, ‘Come Holy Spirit, fill my heart, and kindle in me the fire of your love’.
And/Or
(iii) Tuesday, Eighteenth Week in Ordinary Time
There are three moments of prayer in this morning’s gospel reading. There is the prayer of Jesus. We are told that after sending the crowds away, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. This is the prayer of communion. Jesus enters into communion with his heavenly Father. We might think of it as the prayer of contemplation. The second moment of prayer in the gospel reading is the desperate prayer of Peter, ‘Lord, save me’. This is the prayer of all those who feel threatened or overwhelmed by some situation or other. We can probably all identify with this second moment of prayer. We have all known situations where the ground appears to be opening up beneath us and we have a sense of ourselves as sinking. The gospel reading declares that in response to Peter’s prayer, Jesus held him. The Lord will always respond to our prayers out of the depths. The third moment of prayer in the gospel reading is the prayer of the disciples in the boat after the wind dropped, ‘Truly, you are the Son of God’. This is the prayer of praise, which rejoices to acknowledge Jesus for all that he is. Peter’s prayer of petition is bracketed by Jesus’ prayer of communion and the disciples’ prayer of praise. Even though the desperate prayer of petition probably comes most easily to us,we are called to all three forms of prayer. As well as a time to petition the Lord, there is also a time just to be with the Lord in silence, and a time to give him thanks and praise.
Fr. Martin Hogan.
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vinceleemiller · 3 days
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Discerning God’s Will | 1 Samuel 6:7-12
Are you trying to discern what God wants you to do?
Welcome to the Daily Devo. I am Vince Miller.
This week, we are reading 1 Samuel 6. I've titled this chapter "From Confusion to Clarity."
In chapter 6, the Philistines have had enough of the Ark of God. Since capturing the Ark seven months ago, they have been tortured with the Black Plague and severe hemorrhoids. Some pagan priests devised a plan to rid themselves of the Ark, and they decided to try this unusual experiment with a couple of cows. Here is how this plays out in verses 7-12:
Now then, take and prepare a new cart and two milk cows on which there has never come a yoke, and yoke the cows to the cart, but take their calves home, away from them. And take the ark of the Lord and place it on the cart and put in a box at its side the figures of gold, which you are returning to him as a guilt offering. Then send it off and let it go its way and watch. If it goes up on the way to its own land, to Beth-shemesh, then it is he who has done us this great harm, but if not, then we shall know that it is not his hand that struck us; it happened to us by coincidence.” The men did so, and took two milk cows and yoked them to the cart and shut up their calves at home. And they put the ark of the Lord on the cart and the box with the golden mice and the images of their tumors. And the cows went straight in the direction of Beth-shemesh along one highway, lowing as they went. They turned neither to the right nor to the left, and the lords of the Philistines went after them as far as the border of Beth-shemesh. — 1 Samuel 6:7-12
Test It
For some reason, after seven months of torture, the Philistines are still unsure if God was behind the disease and pestilence that had struck their land. It had poisoned people, weakened wealth, and created conflict among their people. Yet still, the five kings of Philistine wonder if this is just a coincidence or if it is the God of the Ark. So they devise a plan to deploy a cart that will carry the ark, pulled by milk cows, to test and see if the God of the Ark takes it home.
Milk It
The pagan priests decided to use milk cows, not draft animals. Typical draft animals in their day were castrated oxen mainly because they were strong, steady, and orderly. Milk cows would not be the choice, mostly because they were tribal and protective mothers who primarily produced milk. Strapping them to a cart, freshly separated from their young, was a remedy for disaster. But we see they respond unexpectedly. They head directly for the closest Israel territory, lowing as if they were being called and guided to their home. This was highly unusual given all the factors that could have gone awry.
Discern It
God, by nature of his supreme authority, is always "leading the cart" of his creation. Yet there are times in our lives when his leading is more difficult to discern. When it is difficult, we will often look for his leading in and through the circumstances of this life. We look for his move so we can determine our move. We are trying to discern his general revelation, or how he reveals himself to us through the natural world and human experience.
General revelation has a whole lot to say about God. The apostle Paul clarifies this in Romans 1:19-20:
For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. — Romans 1:19-20
Thus, through general revelation, we, like the Philistines, are without excuse. God demonstrates through creation that he exists. But we don't just have a general revelation. We have more specific revelations. God gave us Jesus, Scripture, and the Spirit. He also gave us a means to talk with him in prayer and a means to hear of him through the wisdom of other believers. When it comes to discerning God's leading, we have all kinds of resources at our disposal daily and all the time.
Seek It
So, if you need direction today, you could look merely to general revelation. Or, if you don't want to wait through seven months of torment and track down a couple of milk cows, you could turn to the resources and tools God has already given you. But I will leave it up to you.
#DiscerningGodsWill, #SeekingClarity, #DivineGuidance
Ask This:
How can you distinguish between God's leading and mere coincidence in your own life circumstances? 
What specific steps can you take today to deepen your reliance on God's guidance through prayer, Scripture, and wise counsel from fellow believers?
Do This:
Seek general and specific revelation.
Pray This:
Father, help me discern Your will clearly amidst life's uncertainties, relying on Your guidance through Scripture, prayer, and the wisdom of others. Strengthen my faith to trust in Your leading with confidence and obedience. Amen.
Play This:
Lead Me On.
Check out this episode!
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riszellira · 1 month
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Reflection: Tension Leads to Life and Joy
About twenty years ago, a friend told me that stress and tension can actually lead to life and growth. He said these are not necessarily bad and do not contribute to our mental and physical breakdown if handled well. I remembered this as I prayed over our readings today, where there are lots of tension going on. Surprisingly, that is where I found Jesus—right in the tension in our lives.
Tension is like friction; without it, we cannot experience life at its fullest. The beauty of every sunrise and sunset is due to the tension between light and darkness. Tension happens between good things, never between good and evil. Tension helps us purify our intentions and clarify our priorities because tension leads us to a deeper discernment of God’s plans and will for us. In the First Reading, there was tension between Paul and the Jews about the Good News of salvation. The division resulted into more conversions and baptisms. But what is most beautiful about tension is found in the Gospel—of how joy is borne out of pain and suffering, like a woman experiencing the pangs of childbirth.
Jesus said to His disciples: “When a woman is in labor, she is in anguish . . . but when she had given birth to a child, she no longer remembers the pain . . . So you also are now in anguish. But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you” (John 16:21-22).
It’s funny when you ask women, especially from the older generations, to describe giving birth to a baby. They would say it is beyond words, but when you ask them how many children they have, they would say three, four, sometimes even ten—and that’s despite the indescribable pains of giving birth!
The same is true with many saints, like Saint Damien, whose memorial we celebrate today. Saint Damien died of leprosy after working among lepers in Molokai, Hawaii for sixteen years. He took care not only of their spiritual needs but also their social upliftment. Loved and respected by everyone, he faced so many tension that made him stronger in his ministry, earning the title of “martyr of charity.”
~Fr. Nick F. Lalog
How do you deal with the tension in your life?
Holy Spirit, help me identify the tension I encounter daily and allow it to lead me to more life and joy in You. Amen.
Prayer
… for a deep and profound respect for life, especially for the unborn.
… for the strength and healing of the sick.
… for the healing and peace of all families.
Finally, we pray for one another, for those who have asked our prayers and for those who need our prayers the most.
GOD BLESS!
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bishopclimate · 1 year
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You Need To Get This Issue Fixed Before It's Too Late - (Feast Of Unleavened Bread Day 2)
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 Dear Child of God, Today something is about happen to you that will activate the ability of you to see and hear the plans that God has for you. With this ability I see you receiving the ability to know that will of God for your life and destiny. Actually I hear now that it is about to manifest within the next 48 Hours.  God has commanded me today to deal with whatsoever has been affecting your ability to receive what God has for you.  Something has been seriously affecting your ability to hear the voice of God, and this has been having an affect on your life, on your opportunities, on your breakthrough.  After waiting nearly 25 years, Abraham received his breakthrough when he was able to discern that God had sent his angels to deliver the message about his son.  The Lord appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground. (Genesis 18:1-2)  As soon as he saw the men, he instantly knew it was God. Abraham was able to know that that day, his breakthrough had arrived. That day, his time has come.  TODAY YOU WILL BEGIN TO KNOW ! God has given all of us spiritual receptors. Some might call it intuition, an inner knowing, or discernment. But many people don’t benefit from it. Instead they end up being polluted with a lot of negativity and wrong information.  The danger with this is, sometimes your breakthrough hinges on your ability to discern its nearness. If Abraham didn’t discern, he could have ignored those men, and would have missed out on his opportunity. Who knows when the next one would have come?  And what I see in my spirit is that your spiritual receptors are not functioning at their highest. Sometimes they can be unstable, going up and down, sometimes they are in the negative or too low to recognise when God is getting ready to do something.  We must do something about this. It can be very dangerous when your receptors are not working.  10 years before the children of Israel were due to exit Egypt, Moses rose up and killed one of the Egyptians. You see, his receptors were working in part. He knew that he was called to be the deliverer of Israel, but he got the timing wrong. He allowed his anger to get hold of him and he jumped ahead of God. And it took him 40 years in the desert to reset his receptors to the point where God could use him.  I see in my spirit that there have been a lot of things going on in your life in order to bring confusion, frustration, distraction and delay. And all of this has messed up your receptors. It has been interfering with you hearing the voice of God.  But today as we have prayed, and feasted on Unleavened Bread,  I saw God making corrections to your spiritual receptors. Yes and it was so deep that it changed everything and great light appeared which was sign that something great is about to happen in your life in the next few hours.  As you feast on unleavened bread every day, you will begin to hear God more clearly. You will begin to see clearly. You will begin to dream clearly.  God has commanded me to release special powers so that your receptors can work again, so that your spiritual receptors can be restored, so that your receptors can be recovered. Actually I saw in my spirit that someone has drained all the power of your receptors, that's why everything has been a struggle recently. It's important for you to follow the following steps quickly so that you can be restored and reconnected to new glory.  Now Here's What I Need You To Do: 1. I need you to fill the prayer agreement form that I have sent you, especially with the areas of your life where you need to hear God clearly and where your need urgent help.  2. I need you to sow your seed today and present a specific offering to the Lord. I want to encourage you to sow according to Ephesians 3:17 that God would strengthen your inner man. When your inner man is strong, you are more intune to what God is doing. (Remember, apart from feasting on unleavened bread, one of the other conditions is that we do not appear before God empty handed.)  3. I want you to send me YOUR PICTURE OF YOU TOUCHING YOUR HEAD. I'm going to anoint it so that you can connect to God and so that your receptors can be instantly activated; so that your spiritual receptors can be strong and accurate; so that you can hear better, do better, live better. 4. After you have sown your seed, 15 Minutes later you must pray 12 Powerful Prayer Points below To Activate The Anointing Of God To Restore Your Receptors 5. I've also included below the instructions on how to participate in this feast. Remember it's not a fast, but a feast. But you cannot eat leaven. A full list of things to get rid of are below. Remember we started yesterday. But don't worry if you haven't yet removed the leaven, as long as you don't eat it continuously for 7 days. If you aren't sure, go back to my email from yesterday for a full explanation. 6. I want you to join with me every day from 7:00PM UK Time. Each day is filled with powerful revelation, powerful prophecy, and powerful prayers. You are so blessed to be reading this email, know that God loves you, and as you honor His word, great things are about to happen in your life.    CLICK HERE TO  SUBMIT YOUR PRAYER AGREEMENT FORM     12 POWERFUL DECLARATIONS TO ACTIVATE THE ANOINTING OF GOD TO RESTORE YOUR RECEPTOR  Scripture Genesis 19:1-4 & Genesis 18:1-33   (Remember you can always edit/fill in certain prayer points to apply to your personal life) - Jehovah God,  restore my receptor so that I can hear from you over my life. - Jehovah God, restore my receptor so that I can hear from you where my  financial breakthrough is concerned. - Jehovah God, restore my receptor so that I can hear from you where my relationship/marriage is concerned. - Jehovah God, restore my receptor so that I can hear from you where my career/marriage is concerned. - Jehovah God, restore my receptor so that I can hear from you where my destiny is concerned. - Jehovah God, restore my receptor so that I can hear from you where my property investment is concerned. - Jehovah God, restore my receptor so that I can hear from you where my prosperity is concerned. - Jehovah God, restore my receptor so that I can hear from you where my destiny is concerned. - Jehovah God,  perfect my receptor so that I can hear from you where my life is concerned. - Jehovah God, perfect my receptor so that I can hear from you where my finances are concerned. - Jehovah God, perfect my receptor so that I can hear accurate information where my billionaire status is concerned. - Jehovah God, perfect my receptor so that I can hear accurate information where my spiritual calling is concerned.     CALL US 24/7 +44 207 738 3668 (UK) +1 347 708 1449 (USA)   As promised here are the special instructions you need to observe until the evening of April 12. You are to remove all leaven from your house and you are to eat unleavened bread daily for 8 days (Passover & The Feast Of Unleavened Bread). CLEANING OUT THE LEAVEN ‘Seven days you shall eat unleavened bread, but on the first day you shall remove(cause to cease) leaven from your houses; for whoever eats anything leavened from the first day until the seventh day, that person shall be cut off from Israel.  ‘On the first day you shall have a holy assembly, and another holy assembly on the seventh day; no work at all shall be done on them, except what must be eaten by every person, that alone may be prepared by you. 17 ‘You shall also observe the Feast of Unleavened Bread, for on this very day I brought your hosts out of the land of Egypt; therefore you shall observe this day throughout your generations as a permanent ordinance. ‘In the first month, on the fourteenth day of the month at evening, you shall eat unleavened bread, until the twenty-first day of the month at evening. 19 ‘Seven days there shall be no leaven found in your houses; for whoever eats what is leavened, that person shall be cut off from the congregation of Israel, whether he is an alien or a native of the land. ‘You shall not eat anything leavened; in all your dwellings you shall eat unleavened bread.’ ” (Exodus 12:15–20) So what do we need to rid our homes of? We must clean out everything that can cause dough to rise, or anything that contains such an ingredient. That would include: yeast, baking powder, sodium bicarbonate (Baking soda), and most baked goods; bread, cereal, cookies, biscuits, cakes, doughnuts and the like. Many products contain yeast extract; those must also go. If you are unsure, just check the list of ingredients on the product. PLEASE NOTE: The following are all examples of leaven and need to be removed from your house. Yeast Yeast Extract Barley Malt Extract (most cereals have this in it, rice krispies is one of the few that is okay to eat) Baking Power Baking Soda Raising Agent (If it mentions this then you need to remove it) And don’t just put them aside in a cupboard or storage until after the seven days. You must remove them completely from your house (remove them from your house, take them to the garbage dump, or you can also donate/give them to an unbeliever) For God said we are to remove all leaven from our homes (Ex 12 :15), no leaven is to be found in our dwellings (Ex 12:20) or within our borders (Ex 13 :7) Here are Examples of Unleavened Bread that you can eat during the next 8 days  Matzo – Jewish flat bread Tortilla – Mesoamerican/Mexican flat bread Roti/Chapati/Paratha (Please note: Naan contains yeast so it is not allowed) Kitcha or Qitta - Ethiopian type of flat bread used mainly in the traditional fit-fit or chechebsa dish. Tortilla de rescoldo - Chilean unleavened bread made of wheat flour, traditionally baked in the coals of a campfire. Bannock - Unleavened bread originating in the British isles.   Remember you can give with your card through the phone it’s quicker and safer; the prayer warriors can assist you to write down your prayer request. Or you can ask them to write the prayer of agreement form on your behalf; just call any of the numbers on the Prayer Agreement Form.  You can also bring it and put it in my hand for the sake of a special anointing. I would love to pray with you personally and release the power of God in your life. If you would like to see me personally please call our office appointment. But if you need a quick prayer then just pop in anytime, we are here to serve you. Every Sunday Morning at 9am - No Appointment needed. You can also sow straight into the Ministries account through online banking or by visiting your nearest LLOYDS BANK   ACCOUNT NAME: Bishop Climate Ministries BANK : LLOYDS BANK  SORT CODE: 30-91-91  ACCOUNT: 32472768 IBAN: GB24LOYD30919132472768 BIC: LOYDGB21456   OR YOU CAN SEND THROUGH MONEY GRAM TO: Please note if you are sending your special Offering via Money Gram or Western Union the name has been changed to Pauline Waweru  93 Camberwell Station Road, London, SE5 9JJ, UK   (This is my office manager and the pastor in charge of treasury dept. Due to my schedule; she will collect your donation on my behalf)   Connect With Me Live  www.bishopclimate.tv   REMEMBER THAT OUR PRAYER WARRIORS AND I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.    Yours In Prophecy  Prophet Climate Read the full article
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borahaejenn · 1 year
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✨Dear Bangtan and ARMY✨
  How are you this week? It’s almost the end of January and February is already near💖You all did well. I came here super early because I won’t be able to post at 6pm lol I must help my mom out with important business. Also Good Morning. lol I know it’s morning in Korea and also good afternoon and evening to ARMY in my time. lol We got through another month. Hehe Congratulations you did what most humans do and this carry on. 😁 although I spent this month semi-stressed, sleepless, and sick lol I was still feeling good on the inside. I am very much practicing heavy work on the inner peace and it looks different for everyone but for me, I feel proud for doing a good job of sticking to it and it felt like this month was a test and I passed it because I got my reward: growth. 😭💪 Gains! Lol but instead of the physical muscles, it was the other most important muscle in the body: my brain. The brain is not a muscle but it sure as hell controls all your muscles in your body lol so being able to control my brain in the sense of disassociating when needing to and using discernment, yes I was flexing those muscles a lot. 🙏😇I don’t mean to control everything but to recognize that I control my choices and how I want to think most of the time. I talk about this more in the videos lol but yeah. I was not able to do certain things but since I did my prayer in the mornings I was not as bummed about it because I thought, why not rest? When I got sick like sure it sucked but I was like “maybe I need this rest to reflect and recognize things” and I felt good about it even as I was laying numb in bed lol 😂 I don’t need to be always in a scenario where I am super healthy and up and running to feel goodness and happiness for a bit. I find it in me whenever and wherever and that is what I was putting into practice. I wanted to detach feeling with circumstance and attach feeling with choices and attitude throughout the day. I worked hard at it. Hehe What have you gained this month? It can be anything. Remember to recognize it. You are also doing what you can. 😉
    I talk about this in the first video lol but I forgot to add some things on the film I watched with my sister and hell yeah I saw BROKER. It is a lovely fam and very light-hearted with dark undertones due to the themes and stories of the characters in the film but I loved it. The ending had me wondering if they all did meet to see Woo-sung but it was nice. Lee Ji-eun did amazing and yes I hype up IU a lot lol because her performance really made me feel. I wanted to protect her character and it was just horrible circumstances she got put in and her attitude was relatable. But it was a different performance from her than her last characters and I commend her for the story she told. I feel like some of the circumstances of the characters are not really talked about or brought to light as issues in society and the film and actors all did so well in bringing it up. 👍 I didn’t talk about this scene but I forgot to talk about when Soo-young was talking to Dong-soo about the rain. She talked about how the rain made her feel like yesterday’s plans got washed away. I felt that. But then she went and took a darker turn with it and said that over time in life it got to a point that she would fear the rain because even if she slept, she would wake up feeling and being the same person she was the day before. It was a very depressive but melancholic thought. I never heard someone talk about the rain in that matter and it was also memorable to me. And because I want to, I wish to say, if you are reading this and see this, thank you for being born. ❤️
  I wish to also give a shout-out to the two Hispanic ajummas that sat next to my sister and me in the theater and had no idea we spoke in Spanish too lol we heard their convos and it was hilarious. Before the film started they kept chatting it up and they were drinking beer lol they were lit 🔥 Yes, they sell beer at our theater lol They were so sweet but I was laughing because they thought we didn’t know what they were talking about lmao 🤣 But this just shows that film has no language barriers and many people can relate to the cinema even past subtitles. Bong Joon-ho is right. He brought that up when he was honored for Parasite at the Oscars and he proved something there and brought up a good message. ✨ My sister has watched many Danish, Turkish, French, and Korean films since high school and has never complained about subtitles and enjoyed each of the films she watched and she got me into them so if you can’t look past the subtitles I just have to say you are missing out. Lol Cinema is for all but open your heart and your eyes. Take it in and appreciate it if you haven’t been able to yet.
  Hehe I wanted to talk this week about Jimin and Hobi’s W KOREA interviews. I was not here during Hobi’s promotions for ❤️‍🔥Jack In The Box ❤️‍🔥and I never got to talk about his interview and now that I was able to read both interviews let’s talk and have fun lol 😆 Let’s go back and forth in between both. 🤣
-“Now he perches on before the camera. Jimin- exuding nothing but his distinctive charm- is in full bloom… doesn’t simply jump. Instead he rises and appears to float in the air for an instant.” The way Jimin is described on the article lol it’s chef’s kiss 😘 LIKE YESSSS! I loved the ‘rises and appears to float in the air’ 🥹Jimin, this is proof you are an Angel. Lol 😂 I agree with the distinctive charm. Jimin, you are also unintentionally charming. But I think the goofiest parts of you are the most charming after thinking about it. You do things that are unexplainable when the camera is on you and on stage but off it, I still remember the times you were the one making jokes and saying some of the most random commentaries behind the scenes that it was naturally charming and humorous. I love that the most. I enjoy your humor and that is really charming about you. 😁👍
-“I listened to all the songs before releasing ‘More,’ and I was confident… I put all of my heart in so I knew what I was doing.” Hobi, I think this confidence showed even more when you were asked what would happen if your album was not taken well and you said that then it would be something you would have to bear and face. The idea of having put your heart in it and feeling good about is what I loved about the album. You were aiming for growth and learning and you showed that. Having your own back and standing behind what you created regardless of how it is taken is confidence at its natural source because you truly believe in your work. ☺️
-“beautiful flowers are unlikely to go to waste if each takes some home as a keepsake.” Ahhhh Jimin, I saw the flowers and it was nice to know that quite possibly the staff and production crew took them to not waste the flowers. It was a nice touch to the imagery writer-nim created for the reader. 😭 Homie was like, “there were hella people here. Hopefully, they take these flowers graced by Jimin.” Lol I dig the vibes.
-“I just like what I like so I don’t think you need to name the genres and define them. I try to accept things intuitively and express them, like ‘this mood needs this vibe.’ “ Hobi, this reminded me of Pharrell’s music process with producing. I remember when he talked with Joonie and said that he goes for what is missing regardless if it may seem different or odd to people at first. I dig this lol 😎 I say different or odd because as people at times, we like to have categories and separate things when we forget that everything comes commonly from one source or idea and it is just expanded. We find comfort in seeing things as this or that and when we start to mix things and change from what we are used to it can be scary and deemed as odd or different when it really isn’t. It’s music and for me rhythm is rhythm and you can feel it with any sound it just depends on when you feel it and sometimes we may feel surprised when we feel it in songs and music we didn’t think we would be into. But I think when you make your music it hits differently because you don’t just listen you feel every inch of a track you create. You go for what you feel no matter what. I think that’s awesome. It’s like having a sixth sense than just five.
-“As their influence spans the world, a globe or a world map was, at times, the only tool that helped me estimate the distance they have reached.” Damn this is well written lol This is someone writing about Bangtan too and wow. Haha I loved this point at the beginning of your interview Jimin. I think it’s true. Even before collaborations and awards, I remember ARMY being global and Bangtan has had a worldwide influence that started way back. I remember the beginnings of so many different ARMY translators on Twitter and their pages just growing from Peru, Chile, Africa, France, India, China, Mexico, Argentina, and it goes on. It was built on unity and so many people did fan events and concert events through the years for ARMY going to concerts in the places Bangtan visited in the past. It’s insane.
-“Of course, I do love rock music. But I added those features just to amplify the vibe the song has…But if you go through the whole album, you will see what I meant you to see.” I love that you brought this up Hobi because you also talked about how some people may say that some tracks can’t be rock or hip-hop. Let me just say that I took a history of rock and roll class in college and I learned a lot. Let me just say that rock and hip-hop are the siblings and byproducts of jazz, blues, and soul music. They are one of the same and just portrayed differently. They come from the same parents so, if anyone has anything to say, well tell them that. Lol 😂 I enjoy rock and hip hop when they go together because they are alike in many ways and they complement each other well. I can’t ever say that rock ain’t hip hop when the sounds and rhythms can be alike to those of hip hop and vice versa. People may say I am making no sense but I am talking about the sound here and you have to listen well to notice but they are there. They bleed the same blood. My teacher had us listen to so many songs over and over again to catch certain sounds and beats and I was opened to a whole new world. Lol People need to look beyond the surface and look deeper like you said, to not just put genres and define them when they are subjective but you sure did both justice by allowing them to be naturally together as they should be Hobi. You did well and you get music. You don’t judge it and you feel it out. 👏 Mad props. If I went back to my past college teacher and showed him Jack In The Box he would say the same lol he was a cool and chill dude who knew a lot about music. I got an A in my final report on my own history with music and he was like surprised with what I grew up with and enjoyed my detailed analysis. Lol I am grateful for taking that class now because I got to talk about it here and back up your words, Hobi. Let’s go!!💪 I got you, Hobi.
-“I guess you could say my mind has been busier than my body these days.” Lol Jimin this has been me this current month and I feel you so hard. 😆😆😆😆😆 My brain has been working out more than usual and I can see a bicep forming lol JUST KIDDING.
-“Under some unity. I give each track a twist.” I love this Hobi. 🙌 the unity part lol it’s like saying, I compromised but not fully because I still need to give it that Hope flair.👌YES. Haha
-“I tried to focus on ‘what I feel now.’ I wrote down everything I felt at every moment- precisely as possible- because I was afraid the feelings would go away if I don’t record them. It felt like I had to keep those moments.” Jimin this is very insightful I enjoyed this. I know you said that you would like to go back to what you write if ever those feelings occur again and I think journaling is a really good way to reflect and understand why you felt a certain way. Thinking something is easy but when you have to write out your feelings it becomes harder because you really have to go deeper and write it out. It’s like a confrontation you don’t want to have. I love you for this and I support it to the max. It’s hot. lol
-“I had a clear message that I wanted to convey through the album. To tell the message, I need more strong sound and bold visual effects. ‘Arson’ is listed at the end of the album list. It is not common to put the title at the bottom. But I wanted to do that. The questions that I have been dealing with, do I go for it, or do I need to take a break here, the trajectory of feelings regarding the question is captured in the album.”  With Arson being at the end it felt like you fulfilled that idea of telling a story because with all the trajectory points through the tracks, it was like you finally decided to burn it all and silence those doubts and questions you have been dealing with. Your album ended well. It’s insane because you intended the story to be there but it isn’t apparent unless you listen in order and listen to the lyrics. It’s like a hidden surprise at the end and it really feeds that concept of a Jack In The Box lol it’s like here are all my feelings all my doubts, questions, and thoughts and it’s inside this box only for it to come out finally and you just burn the box. It’s a type of rebirth that is indirect and that is beautiful. You have to look at it from a certain angle to bask in the beauty of the flames or you will miss it. That is how your album feels to me after thinking about it and I love that imagery, Hobi. 🔥
-“ARMY is an obvious answer, but they are the one that makes me the happiest man on the planet. We’ve been together through thick and thin, through joys and sorrows…Spending time with my friends would be more of a small happiness in my life- it’s also my only hobby and pastime.”  I love you Jimin. Even if you never saw my tears, reading this I just want to say that I was glad to have cried with you even from afar. I mean it. 😇 With the small happiness I am glad you even have that. It reminded me of something Kook said before about how in the midst of our difficulties, we should find our own small happiness because it matters during those times. Kook has said a lot of profound things and it’s nice to bring them out these days. But, I support even your small happiness as long as you have friends who treat you well and care for you, I wish to tell them thank you for taking care of you well. 💜
-“I need darker colors to tell my stories and feelings.” Lmao Hobi Wednesday Addams would agree. 🤣But on a serious note I feel you. I like to think that even though we all may be able to smile even once through the day, there is a darker connotation to being able to do that because we all have that darkness that leads us to the light we present today. In life, everything comes with a price that we all had to pay in a figurative and emotional sense. Nothing goes unpaid. This thought is dark and cynical but I think it’s true. The darker colors help us to express that and give us that comfort the light can’t ever give us. By comfort, I mean that of accepting those darker parts and allowing them to be free and real in our lives. When we are in the light we don’t do that because we show the aftermath of that darkness. That is what I am getting at.
-“I was also touched by how he took care of even the smallest details throughout the work process.” Jimin, you speak about Taeyang with respect and admiration and I love how you brought up your interest in his work and music since way back then lol I still remember that video where you played a bit of Wedding Dress on the piano. Lol I was happy for you and that you got asked to work with Taeyang. It must have been so surreal.
-“…'I have a story to tell and I need to speak.’” Thank you for speaking and telling us your story Hobi. I love how you said that you need to speak. I felt your purpose in your words and it was like saying, “I am allowed to take up space and I will do it.” I love it. Pop off Hobi.👏👏👏😎
-“It may sound harsh, but I believe what’s important here is the result. The result of giving your all and the feelings you earn from such results are truly on a different level. In order to achieve the best result possible, you really need to focus on just one thing and put in a lot of effort.”  I love this!!! I don’t think it’s harsh. Lol it depends on the situation or context. In some situations, you could focus on one thing and still not do well with all the effort in the world. But what matters is the feeling you earn from the results whatever they may be because you know you put in your all no matter what. I agree with that too. Hehe If you are someone that exceeds all the time and expects a result that is favorable in your favor, well that just means you want the best and may be an overachiever there is nothing wrong with that. 💪  I support it. Hehe I am not an overachiever so it’s nice to learn from people who are. I admire people who think like overachievers because I could never see myself that way. I aspire to shine like that in my own way but I can’t yet. I’m getting there. I don’t really aim for the best in myself and I can’t ever say if what I do is good or excellent because of my issues with competition and wanting no attention. I still have to heal from that. As a kid, I feared being good at something because I feared being hated for it by others around me. Anytime someone would compliment me someone would have something to say and I hated it. My lack of self-esteem paired with anxiety and depression did not help lol I liked it better if no one said anything and I dimmed my light so I could be left alone and I’m slowly trying to feel okay with compliments and being seen and doing more. Thank you for saying this Jimin. It’s helping me a little more to see things differently, I love you. 😘
-“The very concept of ‘Jack In The Box’ is the one I’ve been discussing with Bang PD long before my debut. Well, I have ‘hope’ in my name. We talked about how I would be a lasting ‘hope’ of BTS, and jump out as to surprise the world.” Hobi, you are a lasting ‘hope’ of BTS. Among the times when you felt trapped inside your own Pandora's Box, you have you to show for it. When so much has happened you never spoke a word until now with your album and it shows how you never let anything dim your light. Your light and energy are lasting. You did surprise me with that twist as well. I was wondering why Arson was last until I got to piece things together now lol as you burn what was, the flame gets brighter.  ✨
-“To be honest, I found it harder to start the projects… I mean, now I have a new bigger respect for the members for that. I think I was captured by the ideas of ‘I want to do this’ and ‘Can I do it?’ at the same time.” Jimin this is the most libra thing you have said lol 😂 I was crying before when y’all admitted that you sometimes run late because that is also the most libra thing ever. They say libras have a hard time making decisions like y’all can make them but y’all are hella meticulously that you need to know the exact ins and outs about something before going for it and that may take a while. All my libra friends had this too lol I had one friend who always ran late and I was always forgiving of it and she always apologized but I was cool with it. Lol My friends always let me make food and clothes decisions for them because they trusted me and they couldn’t decide lol I enjoyed it. They never complained about my choices lmao But, you are not alone. I think it’s in your nature to take a while to decide on something head-on. Take your time. I love you. I only make decisions for people if they ask me. If you asked me about something I will tell you straight up what I would choose. Haha But, don’t fight your nature, just ask for help when you feel you really need it and want it. I tell people this a lot. Haha
-“…people see me as always upbeat and full of energy but the moment I stepped inside home, I am literally, knocked out. That makes me wonder, which one is truly myself.” As someone who is highly introverted, I feel this. This is why I was like, “Hobi really is an INFJ” you are really in my club, honey. Extroverted is a quality we still have but it has its limit. INFJs need to be heavy on alone time to recharge after many social encounters and events and I feel it. When you don’t get enough time to recharge on your own and you don’t feed your introverted cup, it becomes tiring. It’s like burnout if you do less of what you want and need for yourself but it can also be the idea of not facing certain feelings and hiding behind other things to impede that confrontation, but I feel like you have been around many people, and surrounded by many for a long time that the persona of being upbeat became something you felt you had to show and it might have burned you out. You didn’t get the time to recharge and feel all those feelings on your own that when you were alone all of it poured out and you felt drained and tired. I feel you. But I think you are both sides and it’s just that one took over and the other side didn’t get to shine and felt neglected. I make no sense but yeah. Thank you for bringing this up, Hobi.
-“It was in middle school, I was talking with my friends in front of the classroom when I noticed the weekly newsletter listing after-school activities. Break dancing was on that very list. My friends and I signed up because we thought it would make us popular…My favorite memory has to be hanging out at my friend’s house after school. One day we would visit one house, tomorrow another. We would make instant ramen by ourselves and then go out and run around. I think about how good it would be to go back to those days.”  So this was the origins of Baby J lol lil Jimin’s origin. It was nice to read this. I feel like everyone thought that knowing b-boy or break dancing was cool back then. Lol I remember back in middle school hella classmates would do b-boy dances and everyone would get all hyped up over it. Lol I think you were on to something with your friends Jimin. I had to take dance classes for PE in middle school out of force lol I didn’t have a choice but I enjoyed it they played so many of Ciara’s tracks and it made the whole time fun. Lol I feel you with the middle school days. However, I spent them mostly inside downloading music to my MP3 player and playing a ton of the sims 2. Haha I would make myself a ton of Red Baron's single deep-dish pizza. 🤤 It was my favorite instant food back then lol 😂 It would be nice to go back to those days. I tried downloading the sims 2 but since computers are so advanced in their systems now the game lags so bad on my laptop and desktop😭 lol I need to go back in time and get a computer from 2005 and come back lmaoo I can’t believe I’m saying this but sometimes you have to downgrade to play. Lol
-“I have this idea ‘when the light is out, I will be the one who lights the fire again.’… I mean, working on something sets my heart beating. Even though I’m sleep-deprived, tired, and hectic, taking a rest could not help me.” The passion you have had through this process is just insane. I love what you said about how you will be the one who lights the fire again. Very self-reliant and it has confidence glowing there. You talk about everything as almost a passion project but it’s something you don’t give up. You keep going until you finish. When it comes to passion people see it as this fleeting thing and for me, as a person who is born on a sign that has passion overload I can say it is not something that is fleeting. You need to go towards what lights you up. When people go for that hit of dopamine and a small moment of satisfaction people think it’s passion and that it goes away but they don’t realize that passion is not a small hit of joy or happiness. Passion is what makes you have sleepless nights because you want to work towards something and this is figurative. Passion makes you want to do the work not just feel that small dose of satisfaction. Passion is joy in the work not the end of the journey. You have to strengthen your heart and eyes to feel it and see it in every little thing you choose to do and in the people, you love because you want to do something and you want those people in your life. You don’t need something big to feel it but make it big in even the smallest things. Passion is energy and colorful and grand to me and I love it and when I see it in people it’s exciting. I really dig what you said here Hobi. You get it lol 😂I feel seen.
-I feel people had more of a childhood than me. Jimin lol this part “Jackson and his songs really opened a new world to a child who only knew children’s songs and hymns.” I love how writer-nim talked about Michael Jackson’s influence on music and I loved how you shared how you looked up also to MJ and Usher. I have to say I never really learned about children’s songs because I mostly knew Spanish and my dad had me hearing The Beatles and Def Leppard like “POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME” WAS IT lol 😂 I didn’t know what they were saying in their music at that time but my dad would put the cassette tapes and he was always like “you were in your baby seat and you kept moving your head and you liked it” lol 😆 My dad was in the States longer so he knew a bit of English and my mom was always like you listened to your dad's rock music and you just moved your head with the little amount of hair you had and you were happy. Lmao I was bald and my hair grew slowly. As I got older I heard Michael Jackson as well as Whitney Houston a lot. I was very moved by their music. If I can remember the first artists I got into with their sound beyond just hearing music because I listened to The Beatles to get into English more lol like their CD was on repeat after CDs started to come out but it was also Def Leppard because of the way they differed in the alternative spectrum back then and they were unique to me as a kid, also Cher!!!!! Lol I loved her voice so much!!! Creedence Clearwater Revival was also one of my tops because of the instruments I loved moving to the beats. It was different. Missy Elliott was also someone who opened my world I can’t forget the first time I saw The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly) it was a whole freaking culture reset and it had me dancing lol I loved how she changed so much of the industry and her music was on another level. With vocals I was introduced to Céline Dion and Shania Twain first because of my mom lol I fell in love with their voices as a kid and it got me wanting to sing. I started to later go into musicals and I grew obsessed with the OST for the 1999 version of ANNIE and then ANASTASIA. Loved them and they introduced me to another singing range. Lol
-“Oh, I cried many times, saying I was exhausted, tired, and I don’t know what to do.” Jiminie thank you for speaking about this and being open about it.  I feel okay now about making that video for your birthday last year. I was crying horribly but I very much still mean what I said in it still. I think it’s good to cry and even more admirable to admit that you are exhausted and tired of many things and do not know what to do about it. When you speak on things like this it reminds me that it’s okay to not always know. But it’s also okay to express to people that you just don’t know. Something about people not having or trying to find a solution for your problems and just choosing to hear you out is super comforting and nice. Sometimes it’s not about a solution just being heard is enough.
-“The members are my biggest motivation.” Hobi you show this so much. You are always there to support each of the member's own individual projects and I can see you are moved by their own projects. Lol I remember seeing you filming Joonie so hard during his performances at the W Korea event lmaoo
-“Curiosity? I’ve been full of curiosity ever since I was a child. If I couldn’t understand, or if I wanted to know more, I had to look up and find out the answer. But that doesn’t mean that I am that diligent of a person. I think I was interested in useless things.” Lol I talk about this a little in the videos because I RELATE SO HARD.😂 CURIOSITY SQUAD LET’S GO😆✊ however I am a diligent person about it even if it’s useless things at times lmao once it piques my interest I spend my time looking and looking until I’m satisfied with enough intel. Don’t bring something up to me that you don’t want me to look up because no matter what it is I will look. Lol imagine lil Jenn with dial-up internet, a library card, freedom, and no parental guidance lol my mind is a Wikipedia of many random things, and some not for the light of heart. I mean it was not always good for me as it made me anxious and worried about many things in life growing up but I was happy to learn something new.  No one knows what I know unless they bring up a subject on it. Muahahahahaha just don’t ask me about exact dates and history lol I know events and stuff but not good with names and dates and exact chronological order of events lol
-“I got more creative doing a fresh start. I erased them all, and it just cleared my mind. I do not avoid challenges and slumps. I am the kind of person who encounters and overcomes it. Like, ‘let’s just do it!’“  Yes, HOBI!!!!! This is the spirit lol ENCOUNTER AND OVERCOME. 💪 This is why you are our lasting Hope.✨😭
-“My fans tell me the most beautiful things every day that I don’t think I deserve. There is my manager who said he was sorry that he didn’t get to feel all the pain I went through and hugged me when I was having a hard time. The staff who shed tears with me, friends and family who came and spent time with me for days without saying anything. You know, I remember all of it. There is a time when I feel the most strength and a sense of guilt- when the members tell me ‘It’s okay.’”  Jimin, if you think other people deserve your words and love. You deserve the wonderful and helpful things people tell you too. You are very sweet and it’s very honest of you to admit this and feel it. I just wish to say again a big thank you to the people in your life for taking care of you well and letting you feel your feelings and hearing you out. 🙏 I hope they are having a lovely day because that’s real love there. When you talked about your manager like damn. I can’t. They did something most people don’t do and that’s like the bare minimum: to care. That’s what’s up. When you said your friends and family would just stay with you without saying anything like you found good people in your life. It’s very hard to know when to do that when someone is feeling down. Some people would avoid and others would misread that but to just stay there without having to say something in return is like someone really grasping the concept of even mourning and depression.  Like I said earlier, people don’t always need something to be said back they just want to be around you and just be heard. That’s more than enough. Validate their feelings and their presence by just giving the time of day by just being there. You have something great with the people in your life Jimin. That is precious.
-“Embracing. I know I can be embracing. I believe my parents played a huge role in this. I know how to accept. I like to listen rather than speak. If someone is to pour out their emotions on me, I can sit there and listen to them. Whatever reaction and feedback you have on me, I would take it as an opportunity to grow and advance. And more, I am really good at reading people’s minds. So it puts me in a good position as a middle man in the group.” This is just hot. Lol 🔥 “I know how to accept” like yes! Thank you. Most people can’t or won’t even try to. Lol I love how you admit that you read people well because you do and it’s something you have. Be proud of that Hobi. There have been many times when you say things about a situation and it goes as you read it lol 😂 It’s a skill not most have and you do. The “I like to listen rather than speak.” My heart. 👌😭 I checked out lol 😆 Someone who listens like ahhh someone who listens. Whattabnskskkxmdkdkkd. When people say this and it’s rare I fall apart like yes, please give me the time of day. I love that. 🤣🤣Let me say the most random things and just tell me how ridiculous it is later. Haha I will love you for it so much lol I love you Hobi.
-“So, I want to take this opportunity to be proud of myself for going to the members when I felt lost for the first time.” I am proud of you too Jimin. 💜 Fighting! ✨
-“I need to take an interest first to do something.” This is relatable, Hobi. Once I find something I like I go all in until I am satisfied.
-“People don’t know why they are lost when they are lost. We can say we were disoriented after some time, but at that time, we cannot give a clear answer to the question. I mean, I think I just wanted to avoid the situation I was in. One worry follows the other, and I tried to avoid and neglect them, rather than encounter them.” I think the reason why people don’t know why they are lost is that they fell out of bounds with who they are it’s like we keep going and going and later we forget who wanted to be and what we wanted in the first place and it becomes a blur. They say when you feel lost it’s just another way of saying you just have been straying away from yourself and you just need to find your way back. This is just one way of looking at it. But it follows with the idea that one worry follows another and it just piles up the more we choose to neglect them. We become lost. I agree with that. You brought up a good point here.  You admitted to avoiding and I love that you said that. Avoidance shows up in many forms and shapes in our lives and this is one way. Maybe we are not lost we just ran out of reasons to confront what has been following us all this time. We just don’t want to look back but we have to in order to see the path clear up.
-“A dancer boy from Gwangju is my foundation.” Hobi, hell yeah! I think it’s interesting because you have diverse skills and are well-rounded that we can’t just pin one specific thing you are super good at and it’s a compliment lol But, your dancing and control and presence on stage are top-tier, and should be giving the love it deserves. I need to take a minute to appreciate it here today. You are not just a performer you actually breathe dancing and it has been in your veins since pre-debut days as well. It is where you also shine brightly. We love you for it. 🙌
-”Time... I really wish I had more time.” Jimin this is something that I think everybody wants and it is so relatable. I feel you. lol  I have been thinking about this for a while even before because time sometimes feels like such a construct but it is also something very real and present. I got asked this once and it changed my mind so much: “if we lived in a world that had no construct of numbers and time, what would you do in the day? Do your priorities become priorities or would you be in the ideal presence of just living and going by what you feel because there would be nothing holding you back mentally?” It is scary to think sometimes that we created numbers to chain us. Our spirits feel constrained by the concept of numbers and when I realized that lol I was so baffled. If numbers can hold such control over us, it is so easy to feel like we can’t control our lives and like we are not really getting anything done. It was something to think about. The way I see things now is that you will always have time to do what you want to do, just go for it and don’t try to plan and contemplate so much. While spending time contemplating, you are using time that could be used to complete what you want. I know this is easier said than done lol but that is why I am also trying to practice not being so overwhelmed by outward forces to control how I should feel. I am working on it too. Let’s work hard together, Jimin! Let’s go!💪
-”Getting on a chart was never an option for me from the start, it was just about being me, doing what I want to do.” I feel like Joonie was also inspired by you Hobi and it is lovely. Joonie talked about this idea with INDIGO and it makes sense. I love how y’all were just out here vibing and making music and enjoying that process fully. You didn’t let charts dictate how your music should be and I love that. I know that for artists it's not like every track they make was made for charts on purpose because sometimes you make music and it charts high without trying to do so lol The music is just loved and played a lot because of that love, but what I mean is that y’all thought of yourself first here with your first solo albums. It leaves a nice sentiment. 🥰 Plus, I love this idea of not letting numbers control how you should feel about your life and what you do. It just depends but this is one of those times when it is nice.
-”I want to be someone who takes things easy... If you want to have peace of mind, your mind has to be strong, and that means your surroundings have to be solid. I want to be a person who keeps all these words.”  JIMIN FLEX THOSE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MUSCLES AHHHHHH I LOVE THIS!!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🔥 Your surroundings have to be solid and that is true. Not being careful to tend and mend your crops and fields will define whether your fruits will come to grow or not. If you don’t set boundaries and leave and take out what does not help or serve you mentally, you will start to question why good things don’t happen to you or you start to doubt your worth and purpose. People need to remember to look around them and to who they give energy to and they will get their answer. Who you surround and what you surround yourself with are key to your healing, peace, and growth. Open your eyes and hold yourself accountable for things and adjust accordingly. It was hard for me to do this, but when I admit it and accept it, it gets easier to answer the hard questions and come to a solution on my own. Thank you for saying this! You can take things easy when you get better at working and validating the hard things instead of not confronting them.
-”I feel the absence of the members, I miss them.” 😊 This was about  Lollapalooza and my heart felt soft. lol OT7 FOR LIFE LOL But, I love that you got out there and went for it on your own fiercely, Hobi. I am proud of you and it is inspiring.😁 It reminded me that at the end of the day, it's okay to miss people and things that brought comfort to me but it is time to get that bread and do something for myself and work diligently.  In my mind, I am like, “go and cry Jen, but get up there and do your thing while you do so. Your makeup will be all over the place but your will and strength will be in place.” lol Thank you Hobi!
-”A goofy friend in sweatpants, who loves to have soju with friends at Pojangmacha.” Love you, Jimin. haha this is heartwarming. For me it would be “That one friend who is a little too honest sometimes in shorts, who loves to have deep dish pizzas home alone while watching horror films” lol You are more extroverted lol I am more introverted. I only ever go out with people if they ask me to come out or at times pull me out of the house lol I think you are also a really pure-hearted person at the end of the day, Jimin.💜 It reminded me of Jin. hehe
-”I know I have goals and ambition, but it’s rather close to ‘I want people to know that I exist here.’...I really need to be on that stage alone.” This goes with the earlier point as well. You admit that although you did miss the members you knew what you had to do and you had to walk the path alone. I love it, Hobi. When you said that you just want to prove your existence that was something that caught me off guard because I have not really heard someone say that. It was less of wanting to be widely noticed or prove your skill and more of you wanting to feel your own existence. I didn’t think about this concept and it's refreshing. 💕
-”...’Focus on what you’re doing right now.’ This is my dream now.” I wanted to end this with this last sentiment from you Hobi. This is a nice way to see things moving on forward. Just focusing on what you can and what you do at this moment. It is important and I think this a nice answer to what your dream is now at the moment. It’s not forlorn or hopeless and it's not too overly pushy with force. It is a lovely statement that reminds us that it's the little steps that will hopefully build a dream or dreams along the way if you also don’t have one clearly in your mind yet. 🌈
 I wrote so much ahhhh yesss!!!! I got into the interviews a lot. But, I hope you found some moving words from Hobi and Jimin hehe I also wanted to say before I go that I am happy for you Bangtan, and your choices as brand ambassadors. Enjoy it and y’all are pulling your different styles so well and I am enjoying looking at the fashion. Fighting! 🔥🔥🔥🔥😭And Yoongi I say this a bit in the videos, but enjoy your time in Paris and come back safely. hehe 🙏Fighting, Monsieur Yoongi! ✨I love you Bangtan and Joonie thank you for reminding me to get new glasses lol I love you. haha Taehyung-ah, it was nice to read you had a lovely new year and I will come back after seeing your live haha I have to catch up on Suchwita too. Bye bye Bangtan and ARMY! I shall go and get to work I have much to do too! FIGHTING, EVERYONE! Please make sure to eat something delicious too.🤤FOOD. HAHAHAHAHAHA I love you.
💜I purple you.💜
With love,
Your Jennifer ✌🐰🌼
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