#that wasn't even that long ago it was only like 5... years... ok some of us have been here for too long

[judebelle]

been thinking ab joao and reader hooking up behind his teammates backs'... like they've been "involved" for a while but sometimes the tension is too much and they have to sneak away iykwim ;)

sneaky - j.f. x reader

a/n : omfg anon ur gonna be the death of meeeeeee!! also i made this kinda long since i havent posted in a while, oops..

pairing : joao felix x fem!reader

word count : 2.3k

summary : joao and u prefer to keep your love life private, secret even, but the the flirty looks and knowing smirks from across the room are becoming unbearable.

cw : smut obv, lil bit of alejandro x reader, sneaky joao and reader, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it ppl), make outs, cursing, me not bothering to accent his name lol sorry

---

you were starting to regret going out to dinner with your friend alejandro and his teammates.

the only reason why being that one of his teammates had become more.

hooking up with joao felix on the down low has been fun, you won't lie. and while you enjoy sneaky quickies and flirty messages, there were times where you wish you could just tear off his clothes and fuck that smug smile right off his face.

you were currently sitting in a restaurant, a private room and table was booked for alejandro, his barcelona teammates, and their plus ones. you and alejandro had become inseparable ever since you met in spain a few years ago, and you had grown increasingly close to his teammates.

very close to a certain mr felix.

the first time you met joao, it wasn't anything magical, you just thought he was fit. alejandro had introduced you to him when he came on loan to barca recently, and you just couldn't get him out of your head.

it seems that the feelings were mutual, as that very same night he followed you on instagram. you, of course, played it cool and took your time following him back (you waited like 10 seconds).

from there, you two messaged often, especially after the team would hang out.

joaofelix79 : u got home safe?

ynsusername : ofc i did

ynsusername : alejandro wouldn't let anything happen to me

joaofelix79 : that's good.

you two started messaging more, sometimes even calling each other late in the night. you couldn't explain why, maybe he was just fun to talk to.

you would complain to him about work, and he would complain about a mistake he made in training.

eventually, you two started hanging out alone.

not anything crazy, of course.

joaofelix79 : hey

joaofelix79 : js noticed im about to drive by ur place

joaofelix79 : wanna get some ice cream? my treat

how could you refuse that?

it wasn't all that shocking to you when a surprise ice cream date turned out into a steamy make out session on a bench in a park in the middle of the night.

"we should stop, someone might see us.." you murmured against the portuguese boy's lips, you yourself making no effort to.

"ok, if that's what you want." he pulled away from you, his fluffy hair disheveled thanks to you.

"5 more minutes" you placed your lips on his again, feeling him smile against them.

from there, weekly hangouts became almost nightly. he would pick you up in his car, and you would drive anywhere. you just needed an excuse to make out. you even put your number in his phone.

eventually, joao grew tired of the make outs that led to nothing, and you did too.

12:03 am - joao : wyd

12:03 am - you : was ab to put some instant noodles in the microwave lol

12:04 am - joao : dont bother

12:04 am - joao : come eat at my place

12:05 am - joao : i ordered uber eats

of course, you went, and you two ate the chinese takeout he bought. you two sat and laughed together at his attempt at using chopsticks.

and then you found yourself perched on his kitchen counter, him in between your legs while he rammed into you mercilessly. you left red marks across his back and biceps.

"my god, you feel amazing, querida." joao's words were muffled as his head was nuzzled into your neck, his lips caressing your hot skin with every word he spoke.

"i'm so fucking close, joao.." you whined and whispered curses while your hands found themselves travelling from his arms to his hair, tugging on the soft brown locks.

"let go, y/n, i'm close too!" he removed his flushed face from your neck and connected your lips together again, breathing heavily into your mouth.

you came undone with a sharp whine, arching into him. his thrusts became sloppy as he let out a long groan against your lips, releasing into the condom.

that was the first time you two had fucked, and it definitely would not be the last.

his house was usually where you two would hook up because it was so big, and you didn't have to worry about anything when you were there.

you two fucked anywhere - on the bed, in the shower, on the couch, even in the laundry room.

you found that it didn't really matter where you were. if either of you were craving the other, it happened right then and there. it was fun. it kept you on your toes, kept things fresh and fun.

but it became a curse when you two were at a team dinner.

---

"si, i told him he could go fuck off if that was what he wanted. that guy needs to learn some manners, for fucks sake!"

the table erupted in laughs as pedro went on about some story that you weren't really paying attention to to be honest. you were sat right beside your good friend, alejandro, who was very intrigued in pedro's story and hadn't spoken to you more than twice this evening.

across from you was joao. he was wearing a black dress shirt that hugged his biceps perfectly along with black dress pants. of course, to make your life more difficult, the top two shirt buttons weren't done up.

one more open button and everyone would've seen the hickey you gave him the other-

"isn't that right, y/n?"

alejandro was speaking to you, and you were too busy staring at joao's biceps to hear him.

"hmm? sorry?"

"i said, it was you who i walked in on dancing silently in the darkness darkness of your room, right?" alejandro smirked at the sight of your cheeks going red, this memory being nothing short of embarrassing to you.

"yup, that- uh- that was me..!" you looked down in humiliation as the table giggled at alejandro's unexpected story about you. he loved embarrassing you, it was his thing. he found it fun because he thought of you like a little sister.

you looked up to see joao, laughing along with everyone else at the table, finding amusement in your misery. you shot him a playful glare.

"i'm only teasing, mi corazón." alejandro chuckled before ruffling your hair. "ale!" you whined, fixing your hair. his friends teased you. they all thought of you as their little sister, especially you being one of the younger ones.

the men continued on with their conversations as you continued looking at joao from your end of the table, only this time, he was looking at you too.

he was taking a slow sip of his water, eyeing you down.

joao wasn't the only one dressed all sexy tonight. you wore a short black satin strapless dress that hugged your figure perfectly. you thought of joao when you picked it out, you thought of him while putting it on, and you thought of him taking it off.

it seems that joao had the same thought. the way he looked at you from under his lashes gave you the impression that your outfit choice was a smart one.

you sent him a quick wink.

he smirked and dropped his eyes to your cleavage, widening them.

you rolled yours before continuing to eat your steak.

---

you couldn't take it anymore.

something the way he laughed with everyone at the table, his hair flowing when he turned his head. he had on a gold rolex and a gold chain, both glistening under the lighting over the table.

it was the way he carried himself with such confidence. he knew he was hot, and he knew you knew it too. that confidence definitely carried over into bed.

finally, you got up from the table, excusing yourself to "make a call".

shooting joao a quick look, he took the hint. his eyes followed you, watching you exit the restaurant and head towards the parking lot. after an agonizing 30 seconds or so, joao told everyone he forgot something in his car, and made a beeline to where he saw you last.

he saw you standing outside his car, waiting for him. he made his way towards you.

"so, who did you have to call?" he teased, his eyes waiting for your reaction. you scoffed and rolled your eyes, "very funny.".

you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you as you leaned against his car. he smiled down at you before looking over your figure.

"nice dress.."

"just take it off."

---

you two had squeezed into the back of his car, leaving nothing but surrounding street lights as your light source. you straddled his waist, rocking your hips while you smashed your lips against his. you two were breathing heavily, occasionally breaking the kiss to huff and puff before going back at it again.

joao's arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, his right hand occasionally sliding down to cup and smack your ass. his actions made you yelp into the kiss. your arms were everywhere. cupping his face, on his shoulders, in his hair, on his chest, on his abs.

it was like you two hadn't seen each other in years. like you were drowning and the only way to breathe was.. this.

your smooth rocking of the hips created a hard bulge in joao's pants which felt great on your throbbing clit. he groaned into the kiss, breaking it for you to breathe and to leave kisses down your neck.

"so, fucking, horny" he broke each word with a kiss. you moaned above him. "you can't even last one dinner party without my hands all over you?" you wanted him to shut up, so you grabbed his face in your hand and smashed your lips against his.

you started unbuttoning his shirt, but your hands were too shaky to do it quickly. "take this off, god damnit!" you groaned as he laughed and began unbuttoning it himself. you hiked your dress up and helped him with the last few buttons.

you moved his shirt partially off him, leaving it on his arms since you couldn't be bothered. you leaned down to kiss his chest while looking up at him. he was smiling down at you, hands rested behind his head.

he brought you back up to pull the top of your dress down just enough so that your tits would pop out. when they did, he licked his lips. now it was his turn to lean down and suck on them, making you tilt your head back and pant.

"joao, we dont have time for this-"

"shhh, patience princesa. don't worry." he went back to sucking.

"they're going to realize we're gone- joao!"

he couldn't bring himself to leave your tits alone, but when he did, you quickly reached down and undid his belt , not even bothering to pull it off.

"estás mesmo excitado, não é?" (you're really excited, aren't you?)

you nodded and bit your lip.

he unzipped his pants and pulled his hard cock out of his boxers. you raised yourself up on your knees and hovered over his dick. he held it up with one hand, the other resting on your hip.

"are you ready for me?" he teased.

"enough questions." you cut his teasing short as you took his cock in your hands yourself and sunk down on him.

joao hissed at the unexpected pleasure. he looked up at you, gasping for air above him before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"move for me, bebé."

you did as you were told, lifting your hips up until just the tip of him was left in you, before sinking back down on him, agonizingly slow.

he shuddered at the feeling.

you picked up the pace, causing the car to rock. your tits bounced in his face, causing him to twitch inside you.

"fuck, y/n, you're amazing-" you laugh breathlessly above him, your hands resting on his shoulders for stability while his gripped your hips tightly.

after some time, your thighs were burning, and you were getting tired. joao picked this up, taking control. his grip on your hips was put to some use as he moved your hips up and down for you. he lifted and dropped you so easily and made you move so much faster. you felt the air leave your lungs and arched your back to stick your tits in his face.

he grinned as he thrusted his hips up, meeting you in the middle. he tilted your body back, and started to hit the spot inside you that made you see white.

your pants and gasps turned into moans and whines as you felt the bundle of heat in your core.

"joao, i'm close" you warned, your nails digging into his shoudlers.

"i'm right there with you, baby, oh," he groaned and grunted as he watched him drill into you faster and faster. "meu deus, foda-se!" (my god, fuck!) he hissed with gritted teeth as he felt you clench around him.

his pace was too much for you to hold back. you let go with a gasp and moan, your hand slamming and sliding down the steamy car window, leaving a print.

joao was, indeed, right there with you. he pulled your body off of him and set you down on his thighs hastily before stroking his red, throbbing cock, cumming all over your stomach with a string of grunts and pants.

you both sat there in the hot and dark car in disbelief, covered in sweat and panting, after having the most mind blowing sex you've ever had. you leaned your forehead against his and smiled. he chuckled before teasing you once more.

"let's go. we don't want to miss dessert, do we?"

[ellabsweet]

FAVORITE WORKS!

[ just a lil compilation constantly updated of my favorite works by writers on here to give them a little love and help my own navigation in no particular order whatsoever ok? ok i love these ]

(.1) 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐋 by @cherriesxinthespring

pairing: abby anderson x reader

summary: the alcohol just wasn't enough to numb out your nervous feeling of starting your residency at seattle grace hospital. but a new, blonde, muscular distraction approached you at the bar, turning out to not only be the greatest fuck of your life... but something else.

(.2) 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐄 by @s-4pphics

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: they dont have a summary but ellie is your sister’s best friend and you’re in love with her and it’s beautiful and you will cry both out of your eyes and puss-

(.3) 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 by @totheblood

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: you've never been on a date, hell, you've never even kissed anyone. ellie decides to be a good best friend and teach you how! wow.. so kind of her..

(.4) 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐑 by @hazelnutsforellie

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: you and ellie are best friends, first year college roommates that never separated. when a friend asks for your help in making her ex jealous, you succeed... and seem to smash not one, but two hearts with one singular kiss.

(.5) 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒 by @cinnnamongrl

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie williams has never been the 'sorority type'. but when she meets you, she realises maybe spending college as a part of eta alpha rho isn't so bad.

(.6) 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 by @cowgirlcherrie

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: california; while known for its heat, legal marijuana, and hardcore skate culture, is the center of all disasters, especially for a local town skater who falls in love with her ex’s sweetheart roommate. the two teaming up to keep the past in the past and let the skater get the girl of her dreams.

(.7) 𝐖𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 by @spaceshipellie

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: modern au, ellie and reader are in their mid twenties. ellie and reader have been friends for years. their friendship has always been a little bit flirty but nothing has ever happened between them, not like that. well, not yet anyway…

(.8) 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 by @hope-drunk

pairing: abby anderson x reader

summary: a year ago, abby left you suddenly after a month long love affair. now she's back to convince you she's changed.

(.9) 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆’𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄 by @spaceshipellie

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: in the midst of the apocalypse, you and ellie find each other after you’ve both lost everything. what started out as a mere safety in numbers pairing, turns into something imperishable. however, after some time you get separated, leaving you both to believe the other is dead. four years later you find a commune in wyoming.

(.10) 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄 by @abbysvictim

pairing: abby anderson x reader

summary: you decide to travel back to your hometown to rekindle an old relationship and meet a mysterious stranger on your journey.

(.11) 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐌𝐄 by @elliessknife

pairing: ellabs x reader

summary: where abby is reader’s ex and ellie tries to get with her

(.12) 𝐍𝐎𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 by @elliesbelle

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: you’re in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

(.13) 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃 by @solaceocean

pairing: ellabs x reader

summary: ellie was just some random girl that walked into your work. you didn’t expect to be in a two month long relationship with her even when she hasn’t met your five year old son or didn’t even know you had a kid.

(.14) 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 by @elliespeach

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie owns her own vinyl store and the day you wander in changes both of your lives forever. she quickly becomes infatuated with you, desperate for your love that she believes is meant to be. when things in your life begin to spiral, ellie is there to catch you, but you'd never suspect she was the reason you fell in the first place.

(.15) 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 by @phantombriide

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: after a messy and brutal breakup with your long term girlfriend, ellie williams, you were quickly chased off of the internet and away from your life as a social media influencer. with your friends and the majority of your fan base wanting nothing to do with you, your attempt to put yourself back out there seems more difficult than you originally expected, especially with the continuing backlash and an unknown person who is determined to make your life hell.

(.16) 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 by @seattlesellie

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: it’s ellie’s birthday, and you have three gifts for her. a moonflower bouquet, the latest savage starlight, and a pin from joel. maybe, you even have a fourth one.

(.17) 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 by @bxtchycaprisun

pairing: abby anderson x reader

summary: you’re a new medic in the WLF base. you’re young, hardworking, and the thing that abby anderson hated the most, stubborn.

(.18) 𝐘𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐒.𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 by @abbysvictim

pairing: abby anderson x reader

summary: you’re failing, and you’re fucked if you’re failing so you enlist the help of your favorite teacher to raise those grades — and your heart rate.

[pomeloandtv]

She took off her sunglasses and thought.

It was nice to be able to think again. For a change.

How on earth could she ever have believed it was not something that he had planned?

Everything else had been his idea, his project, his execution, why had she believed this wasn't?

Well, for a while thinking had been harder, it was easy to believe anything in that state, but even so …

But that had only been a year. She'd still been smart for a long time before that.

It had started five years ago.

Maybe it had started earlier?

But her memory of it started five years ago.

A growing pain over six months

First unease, something wrong

"Hi Julia!"

Growing to an inner, unexpressed cringe, that's not me

"Happy birthday Julia"

Then wanting to snap at people whenever it happened

"Julia, can you …."

Thinking "That's not my name!" but biting her tongue every single time.

Having to introduce herself had been the worst

"Hi, I'm … Julia" [ugh]

Taking 5 minutes to fill out a form when meeting a surgeon for a consultation. Not wanting to write anything down, but knowing there was nothing else to write down

FIRST NAME: …

But who am I then? If that is not me, who is me?

And then one morning after about six months she had woken up and her name, her real name, her true name was bright and golden in her mind. Everything was so obvious.

And a middle name too? She had a middle name on her birth certificate, but it had never been part of her identity. She could go years without thinking about it.

But now she absolutely had a middle name

Elation. Her name revealed to her.

It was beautiful.

And it was her.

But, she didn't tell anyone. She suffered for another three months.

She engaged in occasional unknown petty acts of rebellion.

Going to the coffee shop when she knew no one was there, making her order, giving her name, "Coffee for …", walking out with her trophy, sometimes her name hidden, pointing towards her, sometimes pointing to the world, depending on how brave she felt.

Baristas with bad writing were her favourite. No need to hide the name.

One morning, she snapped in front of her husband

"Julia, we'll start the …"

"NO!"

He said nothing, waiting

Oh my God, was she really about to tell someone?

"What's wrong"

All the words came out at once

"Thatsnotmyname ImeanIknowitismyname butIhateit Idontwantit itsnotmyrealname pleasedontcallmethat Icanttakeitanymore itisjusttoomuch everyonecallsmethatanditismakingmeinsane ItriedbutIcantlivelikethisanymore"

"Ok, I'll call you anything you want"

Oh God, here it came, she paused too long

"Is there another name you'd prefer?"

"My name is Sweetie, with an i and an e at the end"

And the weight was lifted, and she was now Sweetie to him, and a few weeks later she even told him her middle name.

And he had loved her new name, and delighted in using it

And things at home had been wonderful

But it was still only him who knew

The world did not and she hated the world for it and she was at least a little bit sad in it all the time

And he told her she would have to tell people her true name.

And she had.

And though some people accepted it, a lot of people had hated it.

She understood that it was … a non-standard name, one which carried societal meaning. But that was society's fault, not hers.

One of her friends refused. They weren't friends anymore.

Others were slow to adapt, but they did.

Her parents were a bigger problem. She wasn't prepared to cut them off over this, yet, but she did reduce contact.

Eventually they came around.

They still didn't understand.

But they understood enough to know that it wasn't important whether or not they understood.

On her birthday they baked her a cake with her name in icing.

Her middle name wasn't included.

But that was OK.

She reserved its use for more formal settings. Like work. Friends and family could just call her Sweetie.

But her husband knew how much she loved the middle name too and would call her that and she loved hearing it from him.

"Sweetie Muffins" he would say to her in the morning, when he felt her stirring, and she would sigh happilly.

Sometimes just "Muffins" to be cute.

Things got better.

She looked at some pictures on her phone.

Here was dinner and champagne to celebrate her new legally-changed name.

Pictures of each of the days her driver's license or credit cards arrived.

Sweetie Muffins Baudin

Middle name included, her old middle name never having been.

She was finally herself, Sweetie to her friends, Sweetie Muffins to the wider more formal world.

Occassionally she met resistance to her name from strangers, but that was their problem. Not hers.

Then other big changes came

It got harder to think or to focus.

But she knew that was because of him.

And she knew he wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't what she really wanted.

She never remembered a hypnosis session, but over the years it had become clear to her that he brought her under nearly every day.

And then she had to leave her job.

Which was good. She used to love her job long ago but now she hated it.

But she hadn't told her job she wanted to leave, her job had told her she had to leave.

She kind of remembered the conversation in her boss's office.

She had been confused. She was always confused. But OK.

It was nice like this.

Everyone was so nice to her.

People smiled at her more, or told her not to worry, or that it was going to be OK.

People did things for her.

She could just be nice to people and no one expected anything of her.

Then her boobs got bigger, again

She remembered the pain and the recovery but not much about the decision.

Her husband had took her to a doctor where she had smiled and pretended to understand, but focusing on long sentences was hard

How had he done that to her? So delicious.

And the doctor had smiled at her and she had smiled back. And said "yes", or "I need to think about that" but not much else.

Later, (how much time had passed?) she was in surgery.

And then pain and weight for a while and then bigger boobs.

She liked them a lot.

Everybody else seemed to.

Some of her friends would squeeze them for luck, and she would giggle, and her friends would pat her head.

And there were other changes.

Like her first boob job, he'd already made changes to her face, before, when thinking was easy.

But now he made more.

She looked at some old pictures.

She had always thought of herself as beautiful before, before she met him even.

But now ….

And then one day her husband had told her she would be getting a tattoo on her ass.

He'd picked her other tattoos of course, just as he had when she had been smarter.

She had tried to think of something to say in reply. She pursed her lips.

"What will this tattoo be of Daddy?"

"Your name"

"My name?"

"Sweetie Muffins"

"I love my name!"

He had laughed warmly. "It's a great name"

"I really love my name!"

"Well, if you ever forget it, and its possible with that silly head of yours, you can just look at your ass to remember it"

"Ok?" she had smiled back, replaying what he had said. He had said a lot. A knot appearing on her forehead. "Oh! I get it!"

She had her intelligence back now

Four months ago he'd stopped performing whatever conditioning he had been doing that made it hard to focus.

She'd been back to herself for a few weeks now, adjusting.

She said she'd like to be turned back, made stupid again, he had promised he would.

But for now, he wanted to see the light of understanding in her eyes.

"And there is a different pleasure you will get in comprehending. So we can have fun with that too"

Later; "maybe I'll just make you dumb for other people", he had mused

"If you want, but it was nice to be dumb for you too"

She came inside from the patio and looked at herself in the mirror.

So gorgeous

He had told her yesterday he'd be pumping her lips back up.

"Back up", she had asked? "They were bigger?"

"They were a lot bigger last year, they've come down since. Look at your old Instagram pics"

Those were big

Seeing made her remember

They had been huge in her field of vision.

Her lips were still big, well beyond her natural size, still visible in her field of vision.

But not like those old ones.

"I'm remembering something, uh, did I have trouble talking or something? I seem to remember … a feeling … it was difficult …"

"We had a bit of botox placed behind the middle of your top lip. It made it harder for you to form the shapes needed to pronounce certain sounds. You were adorable"

"I remember, … uh, can we do it again? I mean, I'd like to experience it now"

He had winked.

"Will you do that again, I mean, if you make me stupid again will you make changes to me I don't understand?"

"That's a guarantee. I'll make some temporary changes that go away like those lips. But I'll make permanent changes too like your tits"

"uhhhh, yes please, whatever you want"

She took off her dress and looked at her ass in the mirror. At her tattoo.

She got a second hand-held mirror so she could see what other people saw. Without mirror writing.

Sweetie Muffins

It was her name.

Nothing felt more real to her than that.

She was Sweetie Muffins

Funny how a middle name had never mattered before. Now it was just one grade below being the second part of a double-barralled first name.

She had always been Sweetie Muffins, even when she had been Julia Falkner, or Julia Grace Falkner according to her birth cert.

She would always be Sweetie Muffins.

She didn't want to be anything else.

She loved the tattoo.

It was cute and sweet. Like her.

Visible in a bikini, or in the gym changing room.

He had installed a small gym at home, but she wasn't allowed use it.

She had asked why, now that her smarts were back, it had occurred to her that it was weird that she went to the gym.

"I like that you have to work out around people in your sports bra and booty shorts"

"Besides, you need things to do all day, and going to the gym can be one of them"

That was true. She'd been getting bored as her intelligence came back. What had she done all day before with no work to go to?

Clothes shopping certainly. She hadn't asked him about it yet, but she hadn't found any of her old clothes.

Everything she had now was more colourful, attention-attracting.

And the only more-plainly-coloured items were all tighter, shorter, lower-cut.

She'd taken to wearing these items - like the black cocktail dress she'd just taken off - just to not feel like an explosion in a paint factory

She looked from the dress on the floor back to her tattoo

Sweetie Muffins, the tattoo said to her

"That's you", it said to her

"That's me", she said to herself

"I'm Sweetie Muffins"

The name was intrinsic to her

Everyone should know who I am.

All this was true for her

All this would always be true for her

Even now having learned the truth.

She had never seen herself under before.

But he had shown her a video of the first hypnosis session where he had began the work of changing her name.

Making her feel disgust at Julia

Implanting her need for Sweetie Muffins.

And she knew it never would have taken, her mind would have rejected it, had she not wanted it

She was Sweetie Baudin

Sweetie Muffins Baudin for more formal occasions.

[jalactic]

ok so moonfish is like one of my favorite bnha characters and I'm genuinely so surprised someone else has brainrot for him. can u tell me some thought you have on him...... like what do you think hes like?

I've always had a theory that his quirk makes him only capable of eating humans. that he's been starved so much and for so long that he's gone insane over flesh and hunger. that fits really well with the themes of shiggys squad. what do you think is the reason for his insanity snd cannibalism?

HELLO HELLO i've been crazy busy, but every so often i open tumblr and stare gleefully at this ask. and now i can finally answer it!

From what I remember of MHA canon, Moonfish had made a pretty big name for himself in the villain world up to and beyond his first imprisonment. We can assume he possesses some degree of survival skill/intellectual capability, to the point where he's become so serious of a threat that death row is warranted. Even during Moonfish's intro at the training camp raid Bakugo and Todoroki comment on his use of terrain and how "he's clearly been in a lot of battles".

An aside: Ultra Archive initially rates Moonfish's intelligence as a 3/5 while Ultra Analysis later gives him a 1/5 :((( they revoked his braincells...

He probably CAN eat other things aside from people; they had to keep him alive in Tartarus for a while, and feeding the guy on death row Human Meat wouldn't be very ethical (not that the heroes have outstanding moral judgement anyway). From what we've seen of his body he looks to be in decent shape so they're not starving him either.

It's true that most of the LoV have quirks that influence their personalities/behavior (ex: Toga, Twice, possibly Muscular to an extent?), so Moonfish is likely in a similar situation. I'm not going to speculate on the details of his mental illness--my interpretation of him is largely based on my own experiences. Maybe the hunger is episodic, or maybe it wasn't as bad a few years ago or when he was younger and is now just spiraling. Maybe it's a stress-eating kind of thing. I think he never had access to the necessary resources/professional help/therapy/idk to help him navigate his quirk, and now it's "too late" and he's "beyond saving".

I suppose he's so loyal to the LoV simply because they respect him, more or less, as a person and a teammate. He's fixated with "doing his job" because that job lets him belong somewhere.

This is definitely outside the scope of BNHA main series but I like thinking about a little future for him, where he sort of drops off the radar and goes somewhere quiet and just, learns to live with himself.

I have loads more headcanons; if you're curious, just ask! Thank you for giving me an opportunity to wax poetic about my guy lol

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for insisting my husband's online friend sign some sort of lease or contract for moving into our house?

So my husband has a friend from a MMO that he met like 5 years ago. This guy moved across the country to get away from his toxic family and live with his partner there. This partner left him earlier this summer, shouldering him with the full financial responsibility for the apartment they used to share, which he could not afford alone. When he heard about this, my husband offered to help, because the friend doesn't have any closer connections and really doesn't want to return to his toxic family, if they'd even have him back. A couple years ago my husband and I bought a house, and it has a guest bedroom, and my husband offered it to him without asking me first. "If you can't find somewhere affordable in time let me know." He did tell me almost immediately afterwards, though. It's his nature to offer help when he has the means to do so, whether it's a friend or a stranger in the Walmart parking lot who needs their engine jumpstarted. I love that about him, but I feel like it's gone a bit far this time.

I've only spoken to this guy myself a couple times when I still played this MMO. We don't know what he looks like, and my husband only just recently learned his real name (he never felt the need to ask before.) But my husband trusts him, and I want to trust my husband. I still have my reservations, though, because I don't know him, and also because after years of living in crappy apartments and with crappy roommates, I highly valued finally having our own private home, where we can be as indiscreet as we like, stay up as late as we want on our days off, and have a place for our friends to crash for the couple nights a year when we can actually get together and get real drunk. But despite all this, I told my husband ok, as long as it's only temporary, and only if he doesn't find any other option before he has to vacate his current apartment. Because I didn't want to be the reason that someone my husband considers a friend to be homeless, or back with an abusive family. There is a verbal agreement/understanding that the friend needs to find a job here ASAP, start paying rent once he has a paycheck, and be looking for a place of his own while he's here.

Well, his friend wasn't able to find anything else, and my husband has already bought a plane ticket for him, and one box of his things has already arrived at our house in advance of his arrival, so it's too late to rescind the offer. I spoke to my mom and mother-in-law about it and they are EXTREMELY skeptical, being older people and all and not really understanding the idea of internet friendships. But after talking to them, I'm more anxious about this than I initially realized. Moms and I floated the idea of drafting some kind of contract or rent agreement or something, so that we have some sort of recourse if this person isn't trustworthy or things go pear shaped. But my husband insisted it isn't necessary to go that far, that this will definitely be a short term thing, but in this economy I really doubt that.

I know now I should've pressed the issue earlier. If I pushed against it hard enough I think my husband would have dropped it. But I also genuinely don't want to be the reason this guy's homeless. It's entirely possible he's a perfectly trustworthy guy and is as nice in person has he has been online. I thought a written agreement would be a fitting compromise since it's definitely too late to pull back without being the asshole for sure, but I want some measure of protection. I'd do some legal research first to make sure it's done correctly. But WIBTA if I insisted on that? what would tumblr do?

What are these acronyms?

[kanmom51]

JK on Bruontheradio - coming soon

*Disclaimer: This post came out way longer than I initially intended it to be, and is a little bit of a brain fart. You have been warned, lol.

Josh “Bru” Brubaker

Love how even with this we have Jimin reference.

JK just cannot help himself.

He did tell us "the love of my life".

And what about the first thing that JK shows us is this:

Bad lighting he probably didn't really count on, but yes, his hand tattoos.

And I know there will be those that will say: "he's showing us ARMY", but I say it's a double for him, cause man ain't stupid, he knows fans will go crazy he's showing ARMY, and at the same time I believe he's showing the JM tattoo as well. You know, the JM that did the exact same kind of clip before him. The JM that spent 5 days WITH HIM in NY (and CT). The JM that is his "love of my life". That JM.

Same JM that @andy-wm wrote a beautiful post about just a few hours ago:

Ok, so I guess I'm going to talk about this here, even though I will probably repeat it many times to come.

Seven for JK is about love not fucking.

There. I said it.

And why do I bring this up here?

Because of the hand he so graciously showed us.

Because of JK's JM tattoo.

Because of said tattoo's placement.

Ring finger. For all to see.

How long have we known the J over the M stood for JM?

Us Jikookers?

I'd say since forever.

It's the rest of the fandom that kept trying to find excuses why it wasn't. Why it stood for everything under the sun other than the obvious. The one person that JK puts above others. The one person JK has been showing for years now that is special to him, in a way that is way beyond even the best of friendships. When you tattoo someone's name on you that is a statement. You are literally branding yourself with their name till the day you die (yes you can erase tattoos, but when you are having a tattoo done that is not what you are thinking of, in that moment in time you are painting your skin for life).

And JK did that. One sided.

He also made sure to let us know that the theories running around for years about what that J meant (you know, the army and J means all the members bullshit) were crap. Yes, he didn't tell us out loud that the J placed over the M stood for JM, but he didn't deny it either. He omitted that. Which is understandable given they are still a closeted couple and we all know that admitting to that, would be admitting to their queerness. As much as JK wants out of the closet, as much as he wants to scream blue murder that JM is his and his alone, he won't do it as long as JM isn't ready. And saying the JM is Jimin out loud, that would be outing not only himself but also the love of his life, when said love of his life is not ready for that yet. So he said the J stands for Jungkook and moved on at the speed of lightening. Without addressing the huge ass elephant in that room - why place it over the M knowing EXACTLY what it looked like? (we know the answer to that, but omitting is the name of the game - said that already).

So yeah, JK tattooed JM on his hand. For all of us to see. And he keeps touching it up. Darkening it. At times specifically those two letters.

I actually had a post in draft that is kind of redundant now, about how I noticed his JM at the airport leaving for the States.

That pinky ring, that actually isn't a pinky ring cause it's JM's ring, which he didn't wear when JM was there in NY with him, but had it back on travelling to London, JM gone back to SK, looks kinda too small even for his pinky, lol.

Now to Seven.

Like I said, JK sees Seven as a love song.

Yes, he sang the explicit version, but that's not what HE feels the song is about. And he's said it multiple times too.

This is what JK thinks about Seven:

and from the MV making:

and:

and from Stationhead radio 20th July appearance:

I think JK is being very clear here. Pity people aren't listening to him. This, for him, is a love song.

Yes, he knows it's very sexual, but it's about being with the person you love more than anything else and wanting to make that person happy. And him saying "the love of my life" that might have been on purpose (wouldn't put it past him) or even as a slip of the tongue, but it cements how he feels about the song, that might not have been written by him, but he most definitley feels an emotional connection with. I'd say kind of like Euphoria or Only then.

And now back to the hand and to JM and their place in JK's promotions for this song.

Not coincidently, JM is laced through every single part of the promotions for this song.

He's in the photo shoot concept.

He's in the MV (yes, what can you do, they had to go with a gf and hetero love story in the MV cause JK's first solo worldwide cannot be a queer love affair MV, that's just the way the cookie crumbles... not New jeans cookie - yuck - just writing that makes me feel ewe...).

He's in the choreography

There are more similarities than those I pointed out in that post. And again, it's not about JK stealing JM's moves from SMF pt. 2 (which we know the man LUVED). It's about JM inspiring him. And believe you me, that JM knew every single step of the way. The song, the MV and the choreo.

It's in the styling (not only the photo shoot).

And JM is just there, with JK all the time, on his hand, just out there for everyone to look and see.

For those saying the J is covered, nope, it ain't. The ring band is see through, cause that's just a thing JK does.

This finger pointing, not intentional in my opinion, just a little coincidence (JK holding the mic, as he does in the GMA performance as well, but in the Explicit performance with no mic in hand he covers his face just like the backup dancers do), and yet, a lovely one at that.

This is the way JK wanted it to be. Since way back in 2019 when he added that J over the M. For everyone to see all of the time!

So, where was I?

To sum this absolutely probably unnecessary post.

JK loves JM.

JK had JM tattooed on his hand.

JK chose Seven because he liked the song (and it's really a good one) and he also connected with it on an emotional level.

JK sees the song as a love song, expressing him wanting and needing to be with the person he loves, the love of his life, constantly, and showing said person how much he loves him and wanting to make them happy.

Yes, there is an explicit version to the song, yay, they replaced "loving" with "fucking". JK sings it, finds it amusing to say the word out loud, but when asked about it, it's the clean version, the love song version that he is connected to.

JK wanted to show us, in the ways that he, as a closeted queer man can, loves JM, is inspired by JM, and that JM is a part of who he is, as a man, as an artist.

Those two may not have come up with the "you are me I am you", but they most certainly took ownership of it. And JK, he's out there showing us just how true it is.

I think maybe it's about time that army:

a. Go read the lyrics to the song and understand that even the explicit version is talking about being with one person, the one you want to make feel good 7 days a week, and not about fucking someone else every day of the week. It's called reading comprehension, I think they need a lesson in that.

b. For once, even just once, listen to what JK is saying, what he's been saying ever since he started the promotion for this song.

This army was listening:

Well, at least to some of what JK has been saying.

I am guessing she's not a Jikooker, lol.

c. This one is for JKKs and PJMs. Try, for just one second, to put your feelings about the way JM's solo debut was treated BY THE COMPANY, and see with untainted glasses just how much this man loves JM. You know how much he promoted him personally and without the company's approval. He adores him, admires him, I'm willing to go so far as to worships him. JM is his catalyst. JM is the love of his life. JK would NEVER do something to disrespect or hurt JM. JK is trying to show us just how much JM is a part of who he, JK, is. He's trying to show us how much he is inspired by JM. How much he loves him. All this anger you are holding towards JK you need to let it go. JK as an artist is not the company as a promoter, they are not one and the same. On the way, I also recommend reading @beautifulpersonpeach's post:

Maybe, just maybe it will give you a little more insight or at the very least food for thought.

Ok, I think that's the end of this one. I kind of think I was all over the place here, and not so sure I got the message through, but it is what it is. Brain farts are not always pretty...

[o-hora-o]

i just remembered that ae became really morally gray; they supported experiments on children to some extent with cocolia's orphanage and lieserl didn't hesitate to drug cecilia, tesla brainwashed a student too ? like they drug people now it's hilarious to me- lieserl not caring about 90% of people around her despite everything is not so far-stretched (i really think it's just tesla and welt, with the addition of coralie and joey in the circle) i wonder if ae was already so morally grau when emma was still around or if it's a consequence of her loss

Omg, another great topic, thank you!!! <3

In the beginning of hi3, they are presented as a villain organization. However, you're right, that is not far from the truth.  

Lieserl drugging Cecilia scene lives rent free in my brain. She was so unbothered as if drugging people actually is her side hobby. Apparently, her another hobby is to tell people about their loss- she told Himeko about her father's death and then just stood there and watched while Himeko cried on the floor in front of her as in “sorrows sorrows prayers”. Or when she told Mei about Kiana’s condition and that she would not last long as in “it is what it is”. 

And yes, she and Tesla have brainwashed, threatened and manipulated people. I especially love this part: 

And let’s not forget that they saw K423 as a threat and wanted to...get rid of her? 

Not to mention the Project Signa aftermath...well, it's not 100% their decision but this was the price they were ready to pay:

As for Emma... in the vn she didn't want them to ever be a part of some conflicts so probably they really did went nuts after her death and took a different approach.

Or

55's aftermath really did destroy Emma to the point where she went "ok, look, meine lieben, we have Edison's money for now but the day will come when we're no longer rich, so, what do you think about... free child labour and experiments on them?"

And Cocolia...truly is an interesting case. Remember how in the Eye of the Deep arc they had to vote whether or not they lose the Gem and let Cocolia die or split forces? And then Ein voted for plan 1 with no hesitation? :D

And, ironically, she was the one who had to go and meet Cocolia because between Ein and Tesla - Ein most likely wouldn't punch Cocolia in the face during their negotiation even if she wanted to. Instead of being punched in the face by Ein, Cocolia's fate was to go to a prison and be completely forgotten by the writers ever since.

Anyway, we're all aware of how much Ein despises and hates Cocolia (that's almost the only emotion she failed to hide) and we all know why. The clones.

This clones story is also known as the "one of the biggest plot holes writers can't fix". So if you never played APHO then that 5 years time skip in the main story literally feels like:

How, when, where- these are all the questions that go hand in hand with the clone story. And it starts with Cocolia.

She was in prison ever since the Eye of the Deep arc, theoretically. Did she create Joey all those years ago and kept him hidden? And then he somehow escaped? Or was he hanging out in the orphanage? And if she did, how? Just how she managed to create Welt's clone. And not one, not two but more than three clones. When. Because let's suppose you need the core to make his clone. The core was with Joachim then it was in the Sea of Quanta and then Cocolia got to prison. In this case, you don't need the core.

Alright, but you certainly need his DNA, right? In this case, AE has some secret Welt Joyce DNA bank. Maybe them trying to locate his soul in the core wasn't enough and they were very much inspired by Otto's clones. But. How they got his DNA then? Dig up his grave? When I said that they went nuts after Emma's death I didn't mean THIS nuts.

Their level of being nuts ends where Ein and Joachim started to share the hobby of killing Welt's clones with their own hands, thanks to Cocolia. And then they met Joffrey-

[themultifandomgal]

Will Halstead- The Truth Always Comes Out Pt2

3rd Person POV

Still unable to move YN lay there at the bottom of the stairs all night. Did Ryan throw down a blanket for her? No. By the time morning rolls around Ryan laughs stepping over her and going to 'work' whatever or wherever that may be. YNs phone rings, but the pain in her ribs won't allow her to move. Tears roll down her face, all she can think is that she's going to die if she doesn't get out of this relationship soon.

Throughout the next 2 hours YNs phone is consistently ringing, but then there's a knock on the door

"YN? YN you home?" Will shouts, not hearing from her all morning

"Will" YN tries to shout, but the pain makes her say his name quieter than she expected or even wanted. Will knows somethings not right. They had plans today and he's not heard from YN since last night, he also has his suspicions about Ryan possibly harming her since she came into Med with a burn. Still worried about YN Will looks through the windows around the house. He's able to make out a leg on the ground. Panic surges through him and he rings his brother.

Not even 15 minutes later and the whole of intelligence were at YNs address and so was an ambulance.

YN's POV

With tears running down my face due to pain, tiredness and anxiety, I hear my front door open

"YN?" Jay shouts running over to me, only allowing the tears to flow even more. Will, Gabby and Sylvie run in over to me "how long have you been here?"

"All night"

"Ok YN I need you to tell us what happened. Where are you hurt?" Gabby asks

"He pushed me" I cry out

"Who pushed you?"

"Ryan"

"Voight we've got a domestic case" Jay says into his radio

"My wrist hurts, my leg was hurting now it's numb. My chest hurts and my back"

"Ok let's get a neck stabiliser and get you on a back board" Sylvie says getting up and running to the ambulance outside with Gabby

"Once we're at the hospital and you've been assessed we will ask you some questions ok?"

"Yeah"

In no time at all I'm at the hospital. Turns out I have a broken wrist, broken leg and 3 broken ribs. I've had photos taken of all of my injuries and bruised

"Hey YN. Jay asked us to talk with you, said he's to close to the case. You ready to talk?" Adam walks into the room with Antonio

"Erm yeah, can Will stay?"

"Of course" Antonio gives me a small sad smile

"Let's start at the beginning shall we. Your relationship with Ryan, when did that start?"

"Er about 2 years ago. At first he was sweet, he was kind"

"When did that stop?" Adam frowns

"It didn't, well not straight away maybe 4 months in. It started off as little things"

"Like what?"

"Erm he didn't like me wearing certain clothes if he wasn't with me. He would tell me that certain people weren't nice and that he was looking out for me"

"When did thing escalate?" Antonio asks. I take in a deep breath

"Maybe a year in. He started staying out late, drinking more. It started off just being rough when we... ya know. Then it would be pushing me out of the way. Then maybe 5 months ago things got more physical. He would slap me and trip me up"

"Yesterday you came in for a burn, correct?"

"Yeah"

"Can you tell me what happened?" Antonio asks. I look at Will apologetically

"Ryan was smoking in the house, he was drunk. I told him to be careful. He didn't like that so he put the cigarette out on my leg"

"I should have asked you yesterday about the burn. If I had maybe you wouldn't have been hurt" Will rubs his hands over his face

"This is neither of your faults. Now YN do you have any idea where he may have gone?"

"No. He said work, but he could have gone anywhere"

"Ok. I think that's all the information we need right now. If there's anything else you'd like to tell us don't hesitate to come by and speak to us"

"Thank you" Antonio and Adam leave the room. Leaving me alone with Will

"You should have told me what was happening. I could have helped you. Jay could have helped you"

"I was scared" I look down at my broken arm "I was scared if I told anyone that he would do worse. That he would kill me"

"He's not going to go anywhere near you now. I promise" Will takes my good hand in his and gives it a little squeeze "I know that this probably isn't the best time to tell you, but I love you YN. I have for years, I lost my chance telling you when you started dating Ryan, but I'm not loosing my chance now" shocked is an understatement because I had no idea my best friend had the same feelings I did

"I only dated him to hide my feelings for you, but I need time Will"

"I know I understand, but I'm going to be here for you every step of the way work your recovery" I give Will hand a little squeeze. Maybe once I'm ready we can go on a first date together.

[potatowithahat]

Part two: A doctors Notepad

A sdv Harvey fic

Part one here

Summer 1, year one

       Well springs gone, which means most of the allergy complaints are fizzling out. I haven't seen The Farmer since the flower dance though. I'm not sure what's going on. Did I do something to make them not like me? I don't know. I'm too anxious to ask her. The Farmer is the first real friend other than Shane or Elliot I've had since moving here, and even then there really only drinking buddies. I think I'll wait for them to come to me.

                                             -Harvey, the doctor

Summer 3, year one

       Last night there was an awful crashing noise from up by Robin's. Maru was telling me all about it when the farmer came in with a coffee for me. I think this is the first time they've come to see me since the flower dance.  I was honestly ecstatic. But Maru and the Farmer both got really quiet and just looked at each other for a second. Then Maru shouted ‘I'm a lesbian!’ And they both burst out laughing. I still don't get the joke. Either way my prospects in this town are dwindling by the day.

       I suppose you and me have a long year ahead journal. Speaking of which I think I finally named you!!!!!! Ok, ok, hear me out…. Joseph List-er. Get it! Cause you're a Journal,  so I can list everything that happens to me. Its stupid anyway. Why am I still writing like I'm talking to you? This is too odd.

                                              -Harvey, the doctor

Summer 5, year one

Linus came in around two am last night with the farmer in his arms. I nearly fainted when I saw the injuries. I haven't seen cuts like that since I med school. I'm a medical professional though,  so I got her to the beds in the back and cleaned her up. In the end they needed twenty-three stitches on their legs and four in their head. It was awful. They finally woke up around three am, thank Yoba. As soon as they was up I was checking their vitals and pupils for dilation. I asked them for their name and they just asked me what I was doing. When I tried to explain I needed to check for a concussion and amnesia they looked me dead in my eyes and said: I heard a joke about amnesia once, but I forgot how it goes.

      It wasn't even a good joke, but I was practically beside myself laughing. I don't…. Yoba this is bad. They definitely think I'm crazy after that, I must have looked insane laughing so much. I fixed myself soon enough but I still… I don't know. I gave them the whole speech on keeping safe and wound care and she was on her way home before dawn. That was maybe twenty minutes ago,  so that's all you're getting for today. I need a nap.

                                          -Harvey, the fool 

Summer 10, year one

       Sorry about the slow entries last week. Jas and Vincent caught the flu and Shane has been practically shadowing me making sure they get better. It's the longest I've seen him sober in months. Regardless, I need to get better at updating this little guy.

       Anyway, the farmer came in in a panic today asking me ‘what the hell a luau is’. Apparently she's never been to one and got a letter from Luis explaining how the governor was coming into town for it. I laughed and explained the silly tradition. It's not like the governor's visit actually matters, he always comes back. After she was calmed down she asked what she should bring. I shrugged and told her I always bring beans because there a good source of protein. Half a cup of beans can provide about seven grams of protein,  which is the same as an ounce of meat.

      Sorry, I'm rambling again. Regardless, the Farmer left midway through my beans speech saying she had the perfect idea. It was quite odd. I guess I'll have to see what they bring to the event.

                                    Harvey, the doctor 

Summer 11, year one

       The luau was a huge success this year! The Farmer brought some hot peppers, and though it was a little too spicy for my tastes it was still delicious. The Farmer came and ate by me too. It.. was quite the evening. I was exhausted by the end though. My social battery certainly isn't what it used to be. I should really start going out more. Perhaps I should bring that up in my next session.

       Either way it's quite late now. I should probably get to bed… but… something about the Farmer bugged me today. They were so lively,  but everything someone else would talk to them they'd seem to dampen a bit. Like someone covered the sun in their eyes with a cloth. It.. it was a bit odd. I considered asking them, but I couldn't quite find a way to ask ‘Where does the light in your eyes go when you talk to…

       Oh… OH.. oh Yoba. I'm a fool. I.. oh dear

                                          -Harvey

Thank you so much for reading!!!

As always, my asks are always open, so if you liked this and have any ideas or requests please feel free to suggest something!!!

Also if you're interested in any of my other works you can find them all linked in my Pinned post! Also I have an Ao3, which you can find a link to there!!!

Any way I hope you enjoyed!!!

[dirtytransmasc]

writing a little peace on this, cause I can, and I hate myself and my feelings.

@aliyah-the-creator

~~~

amidst the fear, confusion of everything had just been told, and the foggy pain in his head that lingered with him since waking alone in the stranger forest, he didn't think to ask where his eldest brother was.

neteyam was always a strong, sure leader, always protecting spider, always being a good play buddy and better big brother, even if he was technically younger.

but after days of not seeing him, of no one mentioning his name, even if the feeling in his gut warned against it, even if his he searched any and all of his young mind for a reason he may not be there, he asked. cuddled up to ao'nung in the quiet of night, the blanket that was seemingly very important to the older boy wrapped around him, he asked where the oldest sully boy was, in a tiny voice that shook with some forewarning of anxiety.

he felt his brother take a deep breath, saw the tears gather in his eyes, and he knew something was wrong, something was really wrong. he might be young, but he wasn't clueless.

"we'll talk in the morning spi, I promise,"

"'nung," he protested, not wanting to be kept in the dark, not for so long, not long enough for his mind to twist this anxiety into a monster that would haunt his dreams.

ao'nung just looked at him, biting his lip, begging his eyes to stop tearing and his throat to stop hurting. he could tell his baby brother knew, at least knew that something was wrong, but he just couldn't get the words to form on his lips.

how do you tell a little kid their big brother was dead, had been dead for months, died on a rescue mission to save them, despite his memory freezing neteyam's life at 5 years old, alive and well, not yet faced with the responsibilities of being an adult, or the next chief, or the son of the great toruk makto, or the keeper of his brother. he knows spider doesn't remember the tired lines of his brother's face or the weary slope of his shoulders bowing under the pressure life put on him. how does he tell spider he can't even see his brother again because he is and has been with eywa for months now.

what would he do when spider reacted. when his little heart broke and all logic or reason flew out the window and his world collapsed from underneath him. his big brother was dead, no child would react well to that.

he tugs spider in as close as he can, pressing his nose into sandy locs, tears blending into the curly new growth. he couldn't do it, he didn't have the strength to tell him, he could be strong on so many fronts, but not this, not neteyam, not his friend who he had lost so long ago.

"please spi, in the morning, its... complicated ok, and it's not something I can tell you on my own," he knew that would only have more questions, but he didn't know what else to say, he just had to hope that spider's trust in him would be enough to settle him.

"ok," spider half squeaked, half yawned. ao'nung knew his head getting the best of him, and knew he had to calm him down.

"I'll be here all night tsmukan, you know that, I'll scare all the monsters away... and I'll be here in the morning, and we'll talk, all of us I promise."

spider nodded, clinging his little arms around ao'nungs neck, curling his knees in and letting his brother tuck him close to his chest. his stomach felt like it was tied in a million knots and he could feel his brother's tears bleeding into his scalp, could feel his chest tremor as he barely muffled his own cries. he knew neteyam was gone, felt it somewhere deep within him, in his heart, where eywa presided, he didn't know where and he didn't know why, but he knew his brother was gone and he wouldn't be seeing him again.

he started to cry himself, the tears burning his cheeks a little, ao'nung holding him a little closer, if that was even possible. sleep didn't come easy for either boy, they both drifted between sleep burdened with painful memories and monsters born of fear, and a tired hazy wakefulness. they rose with the sun and found solace on the beach together.

ronal and tonowari knew the instant they found both boys out on the beach, deep in fitful sleep, that the question they had all been dreading had finally reared its ugly head.

they carried both of their tired boys back to the family hut, ronal cradling spider all through the remains of early morning, only waking him for breakfast, tonowari curling ao'nung at his side, a hand in his hair, the other finding spider's little fingers. tsireya watches on with worry, knowing how deep neteyam's death cut ao'nung, it was part of why he was so persistent in making things right with spider; he wouldn't have regrets, he wouldn't lose any more time with people to his childish manners, he wouldn't cut his time short like he had with neteyam. she knew that this, would not end well for either boy, and she knew that she would end the day with a reopened wound.

by lunch both boys were groggily awake, clung to both each other and to their parents. the sully's were gathered after afternoon meal, and there was a heavy silence in the pod as all knew why they were gathered but not one of them could say the words.

ao'nung gathered the boy up to his chest once more, the pair sat between their parents. spider watched as his siblings gathered in the pod together, kiri and lo'ak holding onto each other, kiri holding tuks hand while she sat with jake and neytiri. he felt his breath come short and fast, felt his lip quiver and his eyes swell with itchy tears once more. he was tired of the silence, and frustration got the better of him.

"where is neteyam?" he asked, his fake bravado wavering letting his fear shine through. the silence persisted, even as spider stared the group down. "where is he?" he asked again, looking to his mother and father this time.

ronal goes to speak but is beaten by neytiri.

"he's gone, child, he was killed by humans many months ago, he died-" she cuts herself off, spider felt his mother tense behind him and saw jake shoot a look at his mate.

"he what?" he wanted to know, wanted to know what she would say, why his family didn't seem to want her to say it.

after protests from all around, spider still insisted she finish what she wanted to say.

"he died, protecting you, because he loved you. you may not remember much of him, we are unsure whether or not you ever will, but I need you to know that he loved you..." there was more she wanted to say, that was very clear to almost everyone in the room but spider, his young mind finally taking it in, understanding, that his big brother was dead and gone, that he would never see him again, that he might not even remember him again. he broke down sobbing while his family looked amongst themselves for any sort of direction as to what to do next.

what they were all surprised by was the fact that it was neytiri that moved to comfort him, sitting in front of ao'nung, who just about allowed her to trace a finger up and down the side of his grief-stricken face.

"it isn't fair," he whispered, looking her in the eye, barely halting his own tears long enough to speak.

"no it isn't, but he gave his life so you may live, you and lo'ak, because he was a good brother. he protected you when I could not see my own failure to kame (see into), to protect you like I shoulder have. so do not, for one second, blame yourself for what happened, do you hear me, ‘evan tsatu ‘awlie ma'itan? (boy that was once my son)" she spoke strong and sure, despite the fact she was in the very same state as the boy in question.

"what happened?"

neytiri looked to Ronal, unsure if she could keep going, ronal only nodding, fighting her grip around the boy, kissing his head and then ao'nungs, before pushing spider towards neytiri. the boy held out his arms and she lifted him into her lap, ao'nung darting into his mother's side.

ronal new the boy would never stop wondering, conjuring potential scenerio's in his head till it spun or he got the memories back, both of which would be a torturous wait. he needed this, to heal this bond, to know what happened, to gain closure.

"you had been taken, and... and I allowed us to leave our home without you... you spent many months with the demons, because of our failures. neteyam and lo'ak were given a chance during one of the first great battles to retrieve you, and neteyam did because he couldn't trust us to go back for you. he saved you and lo'ak, got you out of the ship safely, but he was... he was shot by one of the soldiers on the boat. it was our fault, spider, not yours. I only need one thing of you, parultsyìp, is that you do not blame yourself." she held him tight, tighter then she ever had before, and she felt something deep within her hurt. why had she not done this before, he fit so perfectly in her arms, he was meant to be there, she felt it in her soul. why had she failed this child so horribly?

he nodded, sniffled, burrowed deep into her stomach. his head spinning with far too much information, yet he wanted to know more.

he turned to his siblings, finally scootching from neytiri's arm, going to lo'ak and kiri, tuk shifting away from jake and joining her now very similar in age brother in their older siblings embrace. he felt lo'ak holding him the tightest.

"I was the one who told him we should go back, because I hadn't the night you were taken,"

"lo'ak," kiri tried to comfort, clearly used to lo'aks habit of taking the blame.

"its true, I wanted to go back, nothing will change that. not saying what I'm all to blame, just... can't hear mom taking all the blame."

kiri rolled her eyes, clinging closer to spider, "he is with The Great Mother now spider, he is at peace now, you don't have to worry about him anymore. you worried about him a lot, remember, always trying to be a good big brother to him, even if he insisted he was older."

spider did remember that, always gentle with neteyam despite being the size of him as an infant while spider was nearing 18 months old. always careful to not hurt the baby, to protect him from the harms of the lab.

"he is happy now, with Eywa, that's all the matter's. it's very sad that we lost him so soon, but he is with my mother and tsu'tey and trudy. he is with the family we have lost. he rests from a life of duty and sacrifice, and he left us protecting what he loved most; his baby brothers." she spoke with a sort of wiseness that could only be held by a child of Eywa, a child in tune with The Great Mother's heartbeat.

she kissed his forehead before getting up and pulling lo'ak with her, "be with your family, monkey boy, we'll talk later."

tuk didn't say much, only sniffled a goodbye, hugging him tightly before following her big sister. neytiri picked her up gently, tracing fingers over spider's head once more, baring her teeth at jake when he tried to leave without speaking to the boy. he backed away from the pods doorway, kneeling in front of the boy.

"I'm sorry, spider, I should have done something, but even now... I am nowhere close to being as strong as you are, little man, you don't even know it. I know... you can't go see neteyam, but I'll say hi to him for you, I promise, next time I see him."

spider nodded, as enthusiastically as one could, given the circumstances. he hugged jake, not wanting to let go. he knew jake wasn't his father, not anymore, but he still clung to those few good memories, of jake, coming to the lab and playing with him, or taking him out into the forest the first time. it was confusing, but for just a moment, he allowed himself to seek comfort in a man that apparently never wanted him.

when the sully's left he rejoined his families huddle, curling himself right back int he middle of it.

"you were very strong today little one," his mother spoke softly, "but you do not always need to be strong. you lost a brother, you are allowed to do much more then cry."

"I know... I just... my chest is full, but it won't come out, and it hurts. I don't want him to be gone mama, I don't... I want neteyam."

"I know sweet child, I know. but we must accept what is true, no matter how painful. you will feel the grief and loss of your brother for days, weeks, months even. but we will all be here to help you, to guide you as you feel his loss."

he nodded again, his throat hurting from the tears to talk.

"he was a good friend, I only knew him a short time, but he was very good to me and to your siblings, I am very sure he was an amazing brother to spider, and that you have many memories of him," tsireya spoke now, finally breaking her pained silence amongst the family. neteyams death had wounded her, witnessing it was enough, but she was left with his body for hours, to hold his hand and brush back his braids and have the pain of loss pounded into her. like ao'nung, the topic was a sore, unhealed, spot, and she was not handling it well.

"he was much better then I ever gave him credit for," ao'nung added, "I only knew what I had, I didn't see how good he was, how valuable a friend I had, until I lost him and I have not yet stopped feeling that pain since that day. I'm so sorry spider, that you have to feel this pain too." ao'nungs strong face fell once again as he held his brother close once more.

tonowari couldn't find the words to bring his children comfort. all that needed to be said had been said half a dozen times. spider didn't need more words he would barely understand, he was too young for this, had been before eywa had blessed him, but this was a new level of young. tonowari doubted the boy truly understood half of what had been said today, and he would not add to the list of thinks he would think over again and again in his mind. he just held his family close and promised them that all would be ok once more, in time, and that this was a blessing, no matter how painful, to heal wounds that were once mangled and bloody, into scars that held stories.

[lulubelle814]

Prank Your Way In

Masterlist

It's never dull being with the God of Mischief. Dani found him intimidating at first, but Loki was smitten from the first moment he saw her, wanting to get to know this magnificent creature. Any time he attempted to approach her, she would scamper away, frustrating him to no end. 

After a few failed attempts, he thought about giving up, but Thor would have none of it.  He had noticed his brother's attempts and wanted him to be happy, at least have a friend, if not more. 

"Don't worry, little brother. She's shy with almost everyone, mostly men. I do not know the exact reason why.  Might I suggest talking to Lady Natasha? She and Dani have become good friends. "

"I do not know what you are referring to brother.  I was merely attempting to discover if she was worthy of conversation. Apparently she is not."

Rather than allow his older brother to attempt more advice, Loki departed for the training room to blow off some steam from being caught out on his attempts to connect with Dani.

Conjuring up a few dummies, he practiced his knife throwing, not that he wasn't amazing at it already.  When he grew tired of that, he took a page out of Roger's book and battled with a punching bag, using his magic to make it strong enough for an asgardian, or jotun in his case. 

"She's not afraid of you if that's what you're thinking. Well, not your past anyways. "

Loki continued to punch the bag. "I do not know what you mean. 

Natasha stayed in the doorway.  "We've all seen you try to talk to her. It's ok. The problem isn't you specifically."

"Then, pray tell, what is the problem?" He continued on with the bag. 

"She has severe trust issues with men. It's not my place to talk about it, but it takes a very long time for her to be comfortable being around men, much less talk to them. That's why she's always so quiet. She barely talks to Tony, and he's the one who rescued her. Don't beat yourself up about it."

Loki gave up with the pouncing bag and finally turned to face Nat.  "It's not hard to deduce that she would naturally be afraid of me simply due to what I did a few years ago here in New York. "

"To be honest, when we found out you were coming here, it's the only time I've seen her speak up in front of everyone. She told them that you deserve a second chance and even she could tell from various footage that you were not yourself. The way she said it was that it was like someone locked a mask on you. I don't know how she knew, but she did.  It's why Stark said yes to you staying with us."

That made his heart tingle.  Maybe there was hope. He was grateful to being out of the dungeons in Asgard. Spending about 5 years there in mostly solitude was not what he would call a good time. 

"I…..uh…..I would like to thank her if I could.  If you would pass it on to her, I would most appreciate it. I would like to talk to her myself,  but she seems to run when I try to approach her. So do you have any recommendations?"

Nat thought for a moment. "She loves a good prank. Not on her, but watching them. I know that's right up your alley.  Just don't pull any on me, and we'll call it even."

"Thank you, Lady Natasha. I am most grateful for your suggestion."

Nat nodded and turned to leave. "I'm doing this for her, not you. If you hurt her in any way, I will come after you. "

"I would expect nothing less. "

It started out small. When he knew Dani was looking, he threw out a small spell to change Thor's hair hot pink. She giggled, and her laugh was music to Loki’s ears. Thor didn't car.  He was used to his brother's pranks, but he was glad to see Dani laughing and would happily be the brunt of Loki’s jokes to brighten her day. 

A couple of days later, Stark came to the kitchen a little too quiet, and a little too green.  When he spotted Loki, he started to launch into a tirade until he heard Dani laughing, something he had never heard before. 

He and Loki looked to Dani and then back to each other. "Watch it, reindeer games."  Loki looked the perfect picture of sheer innocence paired with pouty lips and doe eyes causing Dani to laugh even harder.

Later that day, he contemplated what prank to pull on Bruce but decided against it. He had no desire to have another encounter with the Hulk, even by accident. 

The next day, every time Clint spoke, he would cluck like a chicken, but only for an hour or so. Everyone got a good laugh out of that, but it was her laugh that he cherished.

That evening, he was reading his book in the library and contemplating his next prank. Oh how much he wanted to hear Dani laugh some more. Next thing he knew, he was screaming at the top of his lungs, Dani laughing harder than ever. She managed to sneak up on him and blast an air horn in his left ear. 

When he finally caught his breath and regained his wits, he saw how much Dani was laughing, noting the ear plugs she had donned to protect herself. 

"I cannot recall the last time someone successfully snuck up on me for a prank like that. I must commend you. "

Still laughing, she spoke to him for the first time. "That was so much fun. "

Her voice was the most beautiful melody he'd ever heard and craved to speak with her more. 

"If you would like, perhaps we could team up on pranks? I'm sure You have many great ideas we could accomplish together. "

From that evening, they became thick as thieves. They glued Banner's door shut. Loki agreed to that as Bruce would likely just call Tony for help. 

Loki enchanted Thor's hair and cape to change colors every hour for 24 hours. Of course the colors were matching, and Thor's cape stayed attached to him whether he liked it or not. 

Dani wanted to prank Natasha, but Loki had made a promise. So without interfering, Dani placed bubble wrap under Nat's bath mat when she was out running errands.

Of course, when Nat went to take a shower later, she saw what Dani set up but played along anyways. It was worth it when she heard Dani's laughter from the hallway.

Finally, Loki was in the common room.  Dani was passing through as Dani came in, going to sit on the other side of the couch. 

From the kitchen, Tony started yelling as mounds of soap bubbles spread everywhere out of the dishwasher. Both Loki and Dani laughed hard at that. She laughed so hard that she didn't notice she ended up next to Loki, her face buried in his arm while they continued to laugh together. This, however, did not pass by Loki. It was a sign that maybe she was becoming more comfortable around him.

"That was a good one, darling. "

She looked up at him confused. "I thought that was you? "

"Definitely not me. "

They noticed Nat nearby, observing. "What? I wanted in on the pranks. "  She smirked as she sauntered away. 

As their laughter died down, Dani realized she was comfortable with Loki and didn't move. He took notice and was going to enjoy this as long as he could.

After a couple minutes, he spoke up. 

"This has been so much fun.  You are quite the prankster."

"As are you mister God of Mischief. "

He smiled. "Lady Natasha advised me you are the reason I was allowed to come stay in the tower, and I wanted to say thank you.   I know I'm a monster but…"

She looked up at him, putting a hand over his mouth. "You deserve it. I've known monsters,  real monsters.  Monsters are those that are of their own mind and still choose to abuse people.   I could tell by your eyes that you weren't yourself. I'm glad you are now. "

Loki was surprised at her statement. Whomever hurt her would pay, but he would not force the story from her until she was ready. "That truly means a great deal. I believe they can this the beginning of a beautiful friendship if I remember the line correctly? "

Dani beamed.  She loved Casablanca, and somehow he found out about it, watching it late one night. 

"You would be correct sir. "

And it was the beginning, not just of a friendship but two kindred spirits bonding, discovering something more and developing into true love. After that day, they could always be found together.

[enemyoflactose]

Secret Admirer shrimps for @sesshy380 you remember that Valentine's Day fic I'd said I'd write for you? Well I finally finished it a month later (👉ﾟ⁠ヮﾟ⁠)👉. Sorry if it's lackluster.

Ryuzaki,

I know that this may come off as a surprise, that this may be sudden, but I've been in love with you for years now. It was practically love at first sight, if not for your subpar dueling I would have confessed a long time ago.

I was an idiot for that. I'll admit. Back then I had an ego the size of the sun, and couldn't see past the fact you had more losses than me. I thought that would ruin my reputation. That was a stupid reason. My reputation was already in shambles. If anything, you'd be the one taking the hit.

I've since realized that my reputation didn't matter, and my love for you has never changed. I doubt it ever will. After five years of us being friends I thought my feelings would die down, but they only got stronger.

I want to be with you forever. Be your boyfriend, hell maybe your husband if we last that long. We've been by each other's side for so long, going through the worst shit imaginable, being ostracized, and almost dying all because of my stupidity. You never left me. You always stayed with me.

If you can't figure out who sent this letter, then you're an idiot. Though, that's something that I've always loved about you anyway.

That was the note that Japan's formerly famous duelist, Dinosaur Ryuzaki, had found when he'd come back from a tournament after scoring third place.

He'd never read anything like this. A genuine love confession from someone! It obviously wasn't a prank, he'd gotten his fair share of those, and it was written by someone he was already close to! So it should not only be easy to find the sender, but be easy to form a relationship with!

There was no indication of who could have sent it, no address, no name, no nothing. All he had were the vague clues written in the letter.

His first time reading it, Ryuzaki had no clue who could have sent it. Reading it again and again, he began to notice every little detail in the paper, just not enough to figure out who had sent it.

He needed to know who wrote the letter, and he needed to know now!

He put his shoes back on and ran out of his house. It was currently 5:57 pm, everyone he knew should be home. The first stop, because he was the closest, Espa Roba.

Now, Ryuzaki and Espa weren't actually close enough for every thing in the letter to be not weird. They didn't hang out unless it was a tournament, and they hadn't been in any actual life or death scenarios, but Espa was dramatic and exaggerated everything, so maybe..?

Ok. He didn't make any sense. The note was written way too well for it to be him, and it didn't even mention the universe and the stars once. Not even a “I've always felt like we were star crossed lovers” or something.

Oh well. Maybe he just wanted this note to be special or something, and if he didn't write it he could help find out who did.

It was a win win!

Reaching the fraudulent psychic’s house, Ryuzaki repeatedly knocked on the door several times until loud stomping led to the door being violently flung open, and an annoyed Espa Roba in its wake.

“What do you want from me?!” shrieked the universe's favorite.

Ryuzaki backed up a bit, then held up the love letter.

“Did you send me a letter?”

Espa gave him an annoyed look, “We walked home from the tournament together idiot. HOW COULD I HAVE PUT A LETTER IN YOUR MAIL SLOT?”

Ryuzaki thought about it for a moment. Man. We did walk home together.

He rubbed the back of his head and snickered, “My bad. I guess since you were the last person I was with you were the only one to come to mind.”

Espa Roba looked at the note in Ryuzaki’s hand, and snatched it. “Did you read this more than once? Maybe there are some kind of clues written in it.”

“Well I did read it, and I feel stupid for thinking you wrote it because it was written way too good to be you.” Ryuzaki teased.

“Hey! I'm good at writing! And focus on the actual note! This could be your one chance at love, I'm not gonna let you be alone forever!” Espa looked over the note about eight times, analyzing the entire thing.

“Ya find anything?” Ryuzaki impatiently asked.

“Well, this person clearly loves you,”

“Damn really.”

“And they seem to be close to you…” Espa thought for a second, looked like he was going to say something, then shook his head at the thought. “Ghost maybe?”

Ryuzaki started to giggle maniacally, “Ghost? Isn't he dating someo-'' Espa cut him off.

“Yeah and they need to break up! Anyway it actually probably isn't him, but we should still ask.” Espa reached for his sneakers.

Ryuzaki rolled his eyes, “What about…” he blushed slightly, “Haga?”

“It was not Haga! He couldn't be romantic if it'd save his life!”

Ryuzaki frowned.

When Espa’s shoes were on, they walked down the block to Ghost’s house. Conveniently, he lived on the same street as them.

As the two approached the house, they noticed that Ghost was already outside and talking to someone over the phone. It sounded semi serious, but clearly not serious enough because the second Ghost saw them walk towards him, he told the other person bye and hung up.

“What do guys want?” He sounded a little annoyed.

“Well we-” Ryuzaki was going to explain, but Espa took that opportunity.

“We wanted to know if you knew who wrote Ryuzaki a love letter or could find any clues as to who sent it.”

Espa held out the letter, and with an exasperated sigh, Ghost took it. He didn't even look over the letter for a second before clicking his tongue and saying, “Haga wrote it.”

Ryuzaki and Espa froze, “...What?”

“H-a-g-a w-r-o-t-e i-t.” Ghost made sure to accent each sound just to drive the point in that Ryuzaki… was a dumbass.

Why did he have to listen to Espa Roba? He and Haga have been friends for years, been through hell and back, and Ryuzaki would be lying if he said he wasn't also completely in love with Haga. He could have been on the phone and in a relationship by now if he wasn't such a dunce.

Ryuzaki hung his head down while Ghost gave him back the letter.

“Haga just ranted to me about how scared he was that you wouldn't return his feelings. I suggest you talk to him because everyone except the two of you, and Espa, knew you liked each other.” Ghost gave no words of encouragement, and went back inside.

⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ ✩°｡⋆

Haga wrote the letter. Haga wrote the letter. Ryuzaki was practically in tears. Not just because he was the dumbest moron to ever walk the Earth and should not ever listen to Espa Roba again, but because his best friend was in love with him. Him of all people!

He could barely contain his excitement! Which quickly became a problem because he was having trouble selecting Haga’s number thanks to his trembling. He managed to click it after several attempts, and waited for him to answer. The phone rang twice before Haga finally answered.

“H-hey Ryuzaki… can I help you?” he sounded nervous, but Ryuzaki failed to notice that.

“I'm in love with you!!” he wasted no time shouting. Excitement oozing from his words.

“Eh?! Uhm, er, ok..?” Haga stuttered out, embarrassed and surprised.

Ryuzaki failed to notice that too, “I'm so glad it was you who sent the letter and someone else! I'd be so upset if it ended up being from Espa or Ryota! Thank God Ghost helped me figure out it was you!”

There was a pause on the other side, and then a giggle, “it was so obvious I wrote that letter and you still struggled to tell it was me?”

“Hey! I didn't think you were the type to write angsty love letters!”

“It was not angsty! I poured my heart out in that letter!” He stopped for a second, “I meant every word y'know…” his voice had become soft.

“Yeah, I know. You wanna meet tomorrow? Make this official?”

“Sure-”

“Wait wait wait,” Ryuzaki quickly interrupted, “are you still on the East side? How'd you send the letter without me knowing?”

Haga’s side of the phone went silent, then he answered, “I've been in Domino since last week. I was going to give you the letter at the tournament, but I ended up not participating in that.”

It was now Ryuzaki’s turn to laugh, “You mean this entire ‘me thinking I had a secret admirer’ could've been avoided if you just participated in that budget tournament?”

“Well since you're such an idiot, probably not.”

Ryuzaki giggled and exchanged his final pleasantries before he hung up. He punched his fist up and let out a soft, “Boyfriend acquired!”

[piggyprincesspheobe]

a little flashback for you guys.

I'd really let myself go since moving out to live with my girlfriend. I'd been 240 pounds just 4 years ago, I was then around 463lbs although I hadn't weighed myself in months. It was depressing to see the numbers going up and up and just made me want to eat more. My double chin had attracted the concern of my friends and family who were always bugging me to go back to the gym and eat healthily, which ironically only made me stuff my face. I'd changed my whole wardrobe 4 times now, and still had most of my old stuff in the hope that I'd fit into some of it again.

I knew I was getting far too fat but I was in an odd state of mind. I was stressed with work and decided that I was eating what I wanted. However rather than accepting when I was full I was just ordering what I wanted to eat and making myself finish. It seemed like I was having fast food every day and I hadn't cooked anything healthy since I realised it was too late and I was already obese. It was around this time that I also decided not to stop pigging out on junk food.

I was on my lunch break and 2 big mac meals was the first part of my lunch, I had intended to grab myself some chocolate and crisps too but I was pretty bloated and wasn't sure if I'd hold it down.

I looked down at my belly, stretching my shirt accross itself, making the buttons look ready to pop off. I needed a new shirt, I thought to myself. No! Damnit! I need to loose weight! I corrected as I left the cubicle and washed my hands.

I was running late and started to head back to work, when I smelt the wonderful smell of the bakery. I looked longingly in the window. That is, for about a tenth of a second before I headed in there.

'No!' my brain cried 'What are you doing you fat bastard?! You're going on a diet' - 'Stop, seriously, I'm too full' my stomach chimed in. But my mouth was doing the ordering and ordered a danish swirl, a blueberry muffin and a brownie.

I arrived late to start back at work, my stomach now in quite a lot of pain. I sat down at my desk and took a snickers bar from my draw. I was seriously out of control but I didn't care, behaving myself for 5 minutes before I gave up altogether and ate 5 days worth of food in one go seemed pointless.

I decided mid afternoon to join a gym, so phoned up and signed up with my credit card number. I was going in after work for a quick workout, although it'd been 4 years on getting fat since I'd last done any kind of excercise

''If I were you I'd start with something easier,'' said the personal trainer who'd watched me waddle myself close to death on the treadmill, ''like the bike?''

I was panting and sweating and so far I'd run a depressing 150 meters at a pathetic average of 8 miles per hour. My gym clothes, tracksuit bottoms and t-shirt, hugged my new fat like spandex, which only showed even more that I was sweating profusely.

''Thanks, sounds like a plan.'' I took a swig from my water bottle.

He wasn't my personal trainer, I wasn't ready for Ms Karufmann to drive me to the brink of falling apart, but she seemed to have nothing else to do but help me get the bike on an easy setting. She was a nice person but made me feel like I was twice the weight I was. It didn't really help that the size of my waist kept popping open the stud that held the jogging bottoms up.

After almost 30 long hard minutes of sampling everything the gym had to offer and deeming it beyond my capabilities, I headed to the cafeteria for a milkshake.

On my way out there was a scale. I hadn't stood on one in quite a while so headed over to it. Some teenage girls were playing around next to it, when I stood on the panel I heard it creak and they rushed to see the reading.

17 stone 4 pounds. 463lbs?! Ok, I was holding my gym bag and a milkshake but come on!

''Haha! Fat bitch!'' Said one girls

I sighed, couldn't think of anything I could say in return that wouldn't land me on some sort of register, and headed back to my car. On the way home I stopped for a burger king, forgetting my girlfriend had probably cooked something, and wondered whether I even had the willpower to lose weight.

I got home to find my girlfriend had made spaghetti. I sat straight down at the dinner table and ate 3 helpings before I had to give up and undo my belt and trouser button. As my soft round belly spilled into it's new breathing space I put a hand either side and groaned.

''I went to the gym today.''

''Yeah you said. Any good?''

''Umm, nice gym, but I'm kinda out of shape.''

''Aww you're not out of shape,'' She said as she placed a hand on mine, ''round is a shape.'' She laughed.

''Would you say I'm too fat?''

She patted my bulging tummy and gave it a rub. ''You're fine. Anyway finish this up because I shopped today and there's no room in the fridge.''

''I will in a minute.''

I got up and looked in the fridge, junk food wall to wall. I wondered for a moment if perhaps she was the reason I was getting fat. I'd put on over a two hundred pounds now since moving in with her 4 years ago. Then I thought, naah, and took a can of pepsi from the fridge and sat down to finish another couple of helpings of spaghetti.

I was laid on the sofa, she was stuffing endless slices of chocolate cake into my mouth. Every time I felt too full she'd just get some ice cream and make me eat that instead.

It was January 5th, I was supposed to be back at work but my doctor had given me a note to say I was unfit for work, and as I felt lazy and ill I didn't want to argue. My doctor's case was simply that I was suffering from stress related IBS caused by my job. It was really just food related IBS caused by all the food at Christmas. I'd gotten huge anyway, none of my work suits fitted me anymore. All that did fit me was some previously baggy t-shirts and a couple of pairs of underwear (although they weren't very comfortable so I was only wearing a t-shirt, which as you probably can guess was covered in chocolate). I didn't know how big exactly, I'd not weighed myself in 4 months.

As I'd expanded and filled more of the bed, crushed my girlfriend more during sex and generally become lazier and less energetic, I asked her why she continued to feed me so much. After all, at the rate we were going I'd soon be too big for sex altogether. She told me that she loved making me fatter, she loved every pound she added to my growing body, she loved my hanging belly and boobs, she loved my soft ass and thick thighs and she loved to keep my stomach packed full of the nicest things she could give me.

I'd come to eat more and more each day as the weeks and months past and for the past 2 weeks eating had become a non-stop thing throughout most of the day. However I was far too full to keep eating so I asked her to stop feeding me for a few minutes. As I was resting there was a knock on the door. She went to answer it and came back smiling with a package. She ripped off the packaging and I saw from the box that it was a set of scales. She'd ordered it online before Christmas and was a little dissapointed that she wouldn't know how much weight she'd made me gain over the holiday, but was at least pleased that she'd know what she'd put on me for the year coming.

She set them out on the floor and helped me up, my aching, huge, flabby belly, my butter thighs, and my ham arms making it hard for me to stand. "I-I'm going to fall! h-help!" As I got on I realised I couldn't see my feet, let alone the read out.

"36 stone!" She said gleefully and jumped into the air before walking behind my huge ass and smacked it.

"Look what else I ordered." She said as she came back with another package, this time taking it into the kitchen.

She opened it up and it turned out to be weight gain powder.

I had to ask myself as she mixed up a litre of milk with it, whether I liked where this was going. She'd made me massive, litterally massive. I was easily in the top 10% of obese people, my doctor had already had a go at me over my weight and she still wanted me fatter. Sex was becoming more difficult, walking was harder, even driving and I didn't think that was possible! My hand shaking, I took another bite of the muffin. This muffin wasn't the problem; the problem was the 15 muffins I'd already eaten after a day's feeding. I had become dependant on her over the last month or so. We had gotten married back in May while I was still able to walk around easily enough (well, not so easily but you know what I mean), and it was possible to find a tux that fit. I was about 37 stone at the time my family were there, some who hadn't seen me since I was half the size. I saw her side of the family, none of the men were slim, all of them either on their way to or over 30 stone. The women weren't slim either but it seemed to me, given my experience with my wife, that they had some natural urge to feed their loved ones. Even the kids were huge. Anyway, for the honeymoon we had to buy 3 seats, one for her, 2 for me, even though I only got one seat. But to hell with it, her grandmother had given her almost £2,200,000 as a wedding gift, which was set aside for all her grandkids for the day they married. Her great grandfather founded a car factory or something along those lines. The plane landed in California where we got a cruise liner which was going to Hawaii and back over 4 weeks. As soon as we were in our room she excitedly unpacked a heavy duty digital scale, the readout of which handily came attached on a cable just in case you couldn't see over your belly. "Get on!" She demanded, a big smile on her face. I dumped my bag and obliged. "539lbs! Yay!" She jumped for joy. My heart raced as I searched my fold for my phone to use the calculator . . . "38 stone. D-Damn!" "Honey, look . . . I don't want to get any fatter. Aren't I big enough for you now?" She frowned and hugged me, rubbing my fat stomach through my t-shirt. "Aww baby, please, just let me fatten you over this holiday and after that I'll let you eat how you want." I agreed. Though I'd married her for a reason after all, I loved her and it was an amazing time with her even if I had to spend almost all day eating to fulfil her desires. In all our photos my belly hangs low, my fat poking and spilling out of all the clothes I outgrew while we were away. My boobs were so large I contemplated wearing a bra but decided not to as I was hot enough as it was. We arrived back home after hours and hours of travelling in which I was made to eat countless bags of sweets and, just as excitedly as before she unpacked the scale. I wasn't too worried, this was it, I could stop gaining weight now, and how much could I possibly gain in 48 days? "Oh my god!" She shouted with glee. She jumped on the bed and began stripping. I bent down to pick up the readout which she'd dropped, and felt my jeans tear at the side. I straightened up and held still as the numbers settled. 580lbs. A 41 pound gain, over a pound a day, putting me at over 41 stone.

My 3 chins wobbled as I gasped. "Come here now!" She ordered and I got onto the bed, making it creak and groan. I broke the bed that night, so she got a steel one. That's what I'm laid on 4 months later in September. I'd stopped working long before our wedding and we were living on her fortune. I gave up arguing with her for 4 main reasons. 1, I was already hugely obese and would never be thin again. 2, my stomach was huge and I needed a lot of food to stay full. 3, the sex was fantastic and 4, it made her truly, truly happy. She had kept a diary of my measurements and weight since just before Christmas and it was a hell of a read. She also noted what she liked best about seeing my body swell. I was in a daze, I lived to eat. I watched TV and played videogames, sometimes surfed the net on our laptop. Whenever I needed to use my hands she would hand feed me. If I was too full she would massage my stomach for a while then give me plenty to drink (often weight gain shakes though that didn't help the bloated feeling), usually coke or something sugary. The game we were playing at the moment was her favorite. I was too full and fat to masturbate and she'd given me Viagra to keep me horny. When she was finally satisfied that I could get no more in I'd get my reward, but I certainly wouldn't get it if I didn't finish the batch of 16 muffins she'd made especially for me. It was very hard work, my stomach was in severe pain but even after the last muffin she brought a fudge cake and told me I had to eat it. It was huge . . . but I was so horny . . . My shaking hand spooned the last mouthful into my mouth and I swallowed. She held the plate to my face and made me lick it clean, then she gave me the best blowjob of my life. The next morning I was on the toilet for so long that she brought my breakfast in to me and gave me a milkshake to enjoy while I showered. When I was done she made me step on the scales. I got another big hug and she jotted into her diary. 614 pounds. 43 stone. It was too much weight on my bones. I could barely walk and breathe but I was beyond caring. I didn't leave the house, she just continued to shop and cook and clean and feed. I had nothing to worry about, I didn't even miss the outside world. She would occasionally take photos of me for a website which she frequented, where women like her (and a few men but I'm not homophobic) would say "wow he's so sexy" and "you've done such a good job of feeding him". I looked her up and down, she'd definitely gained a few pounds herself, which I enjoyed for some reason. I sat on the couch and awaited my second breakfast.

Later that day I was sat on the couch eating my 2nd 15 inch pizza. My wife was out shopping. We usually got food delivered but today she'd taken the car to get fast food and cakes, pastries, stuff like that. Last time she'd spent over £100 and made me eat the whole lot. It had been a struggle but she'd loved every minute of it and she ***ed my brains out that night.

I got a bit bored and, despite my orders, left half the pizza on the sofa, and hauled myself up and waddled to the pc. The chair was now very small for me and I was worried I'd break it so I tried to ease myself onto it. A large box of assorted donuts was on the desk next to the screen, she'd told me that if I wanted to use the computer I'd have to eat them, and since she'd know I'd been on it I decided to start eating them. I looked around her sites. One photo she'd uploaded was a comparison shot of me at 10 stone and again at 36 stone, it was very popular. There were other shots of me eating and I even found a video of her fingering my belly after I'd passed out from a huge force feeding.

I went into the forums and looked at things she'd posted on. I saw lots of stuff that I didn't understand, but plenty more that caught my attention. In one post she was telling how much I'd gained but that I still had a 'long way to go'. It had only been posted 3 days before so I delved deeper. I found a blog she'd been writing and this was the last entry.

"Oh my god, she's a dream come true. I never expected him to come around so easily to this but he's almost unable to walk and still agrees to eat and even lets me force feed him! Every day she gets closer to my goal. As soon as I make her immobile, which can only be a matter of weeks away, 3 or 4 months at worst, she'll be put onto the second phase of the regime. The part only my aunt and my friends, futon114 and casey5jane have managed to get their girlfriends to. I get so turned on watching her eat, and even more so (strangely) to shop for him, knowing that whatever I buy she will diligently and obediently consume. I love to see her stretch mark covered belly swelling and expanding, her four chins wobbling, her back fat jiggling, her nech being invisible, her meaty legs and arms expanding with my love and my home cooking which she loves more than anything. I love to see him get out of breath as she tries to walk, then give up and eat whatever I give to him.

It went on but I searched on the previous site for the names she had mentioned. They'd both uploaded photos of women twice my size, unable to get off the bed they were confined to. They had tubes leading into and out of orifices to help them breathe and defecate and a tired expression on their faces and piles of food around them. My heart raced. I needed to get out of there.

I looked in the wardrobe but no clothes fit, absolutely nothing would go over my fat belly. I got a white dressing gown on and headed for the car, but remembered she'd taken it out to shop. I couldn't call the police, what would they say?! At best I could hope to be a laughing stock. I wanted to go to a friend's place and hide out for a while, but there would be no time to get her to pick me up, so I sat back down and panted exhaustedly trying to get my breath back as I ate more pizza.

When she arrived home she brought in 4 bags, then made 2 more trips back to the car to get 9 more bags. What worried me was that it was all for today. I might be immobile by the end of the day. By midnight I'd been made to eat a family sized kfc bucket, 4 whoppers with fries, 2 weight gain milkshakes, 3 of the most fattening 800g cheesecakes you've ever seen, probably about 40-50 pastries and cream cakes of various kinds, fudgecakes and donuts and chocolate and pepsi and even more that I couldn't remember.

I laid on the bed unable to move a muscle as she ran her hand delicately over my swollen stomach, which was starting to spill over the side of the bed. I groaned, then asked her what my goal was.

"Your goal?" She asked, unaware that I'd been on her website.

"What is my goal? Why are you feeding me like this?"

"Well, if you want to know, you're going to weigh over 2000 pounds, which is about 140 stone." My heart raced and she soothed me, running her hand over mine. "Really I want to make you 2150 pounds because then I'll have added 2000 pounds to you all by myself."

"I don't want to be that big! I love going out places."

"When did we last go out?" She asked.

I thought hard, but couldn't think of anything since our honeymoon so remained silent.

"I won't do it. I won't let you keep feeding me if all you want is for me to be a fat blob on this bed."

"For starters, I wasn't expecting you to stay on this bed. I've set up a room especially for you in our new house. You have glass walls so you can see outside, a comfy bed, a crane to lift you out of it, I'll be there to wash and feed you, and I'll find a way to keep your winky entertained." She said, grabbing it under my folds of flesh. Her tone changed and she looked me in my panic stricken eyes. "And you will eat, and you will get fatter. There's something I never told you before we got married, I couldn't because I'd have scared you out of marrying me."

She got up, slapped my belly and pulled a pair of handcuffs from under the bed, attaching my ankle to the bedpost with them. "Myself and my 4 sisters were brought up and taught how to cook, feed and look after a huge man. Our 3 brothers were force fed daily, the reason they weren't at the wedding was that they are now simply too fat to walk. The reason for this is my mother; she tried to fatten her husband to over 2000 pounds because my whole family fortune goes to the first woman in our family to fatten up her husband to such a weight. My father died when I was young, of a heart attack at about 1400 pounds. She taught all of us to feed so that we'd be prepared for our partners. It has to be the first partner though, and I have a lot of competition from my cousins, but my sisters are behind me and I'm behind them, we have a pact to share the fortune. The fortune itself was left to our great grandmother because she fattened her husband to death, she was a feeder as well as a homicidal bitch. In her will she stipulated the rules and I want the money. But don't take this the wrong way, I love you and I love your body." She paused. "Come on, you've got to drink your weight gain shake before sleeping."

[madaboutmunson]

The Drive-In - Part 4

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 5 | Links to all Parts | AO3 Link

Taglist: @2btheanswertothequestion

The speed at which Eddie moved back in his seat almost rivaled Steve's recoil from earlier.

"Shit, sorry, man. Guess I was just playing up the character" Eddie realizes he's making his voice sound a lot deeper than usual. He looks at Steve, expecting the worst. A slur, a look of disgust, an act of violence, maybe, but nothing happens. Steve simply nods at him and turns back to the movie.

Eddie honestly hadn't even realized he had put his arms around Steve. But he had definitely noticed how Steve's arms had felt around him.

That firm embrace of safety teamed with the verbal destruction of Jason Carver. Damn, if that hadn't made Eddie feel protected as fuck.

Nope. Eddie tells himself. No way. We are not going down this road again. Absolutely not! That was a phase, and that phase was over. Over!

Eddie gathers up his lunchbox quickly and takes down his hair, "So...um...yeah...thanks for saving my ass there, dude. Appreciate it."

Steve is still looking at the movie. Gods, Eddie's insides were in knots. Why wasn't he saying anything?

Eddie continues, "Look, erm, I was just scared of getting my head kicked in, dude, that's all. Here, look." Eddie grabs a small bag of weed out of his lunchbox and throws it at Steve, finally getting Steve to look at him. "On the house. You know, as a thank you," Eddie tries to give him that salesman smile and shrug.

Steve gives Eddie a sobering look of pity before picking up the baggy and tossing it back gently, "You don't need to buy my silence, Munson. I won't tell anyone."

"I wasn't...that's not..." Eddie huffs at his inability to form a sentence.

Steve dips his head to look at Eddie's face. "It's ok. I know...I mean... a few years ago, I met someone who was...you know...um...homosexual, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I promise I won't breathe a word of this to anyone"

Eddie's eyes search Steve's for a moment. Searches for a sign this was some kind of locker room joke between guys or something. But the laugh doesn't appear. He was serious. Steve thought that Eddie was...

Eddie clenches his fists and feels the anger rise in him. "I'm not fucking gay, alright?! I like girls! I was just terrified, alright?!" He gestures violently into the night, "That's why they were chasing me in the first place because I was hitting on a fucking woman, alright?" Eddie looks around frantically, "There...that one there," he points at the girl from earlier. Eddie pokes the glass so hard he's amazed his finger doesn't just go through it.

Steve gives him another pitying look.

Eddie wrinkles his nose in anger. "You know what, Harrington, if anyone in this car is fucking gay, it's you! All those years slapping other guys' asses are probably a major factor in why you didn't even notice how broad my shoulders were when you tried to ram your tongue in my ear!!"

Oh, that was it. Eddie had found it. Steve's eyes flare with annoyance, "Yeah, well, in my defense, you've got long hair, and your shoulders...your shoulders are not as broad as you think they are...could have been shoulder pads, alright?!"

"Shoulder pads?! That's fucking rich coming from the guy who must use more products in his hair than the entire cheer squad!!" Eddie barks back sharply, "Also, it's clearly not having the same effect on the girlies it did in high school. We all saw you flunk out with that group of girls at the food stalls, King Steeeeve! Post-high-school not treating you so well, is it?" Eddie mocks spitefully but almost instantly realizes it's a step too far when he looks at Steve's expression is one of pure hurt as his eyes cast down to the floor.

Why did he always take it too far?

"Get out, Munson," Steve says quietly, without even a hint of anger. Only sadness.

Eddie takes a few breaths to calm down, and his anger is quickly doused by remorse. He wants to apologize, but it might be best to leave. Then he remembers his van won't start. Maybe he could figure it out, now he didn't have to run for his life.

"Look, I'm gonna go. For what it's worth, dude, I'm sorry. What I said...that was too far. I just lost it. I don't like being called that, ok?" Eddie says genuinely, takes a last look at Steve from under his hair, and exits the car.

The walk back to his van is an almost shameful one. He regrets what he said, obviously, that look on Steve's face was stomach plummeting. Eddie didn't even envision any success for himself after high school either, not that he had any while he was in it, but more than anything, he couldn't stop thinking about his Dad.

Eddie remembers him storming into Eddie's room, grabbing him by his t-shirt collar, and lifting him off the floor. His dad's face was bright red with anger, raging at him, spittle flying out of his mouth, droplets occasionally hitting Eddie's face while he accused Eddie of a list of things.

Eddie can still hear that Click-click of the shotgun in his mind now, as clearly as the first time he heard it. His Mama pointing at his Dad.

Then as cool as ice, she'd said, "Put my son down. He didn't know no better. He's gonna go to that there Jesus summer camp, and we'll hear no more of this. Right, Eddie-bear?"

Eddie managed to swallow hard and reply, "Right, Mama. I promise it won't happen again, Dad."

"You're no son of mine," his Dad had seethed as he released him, dropping him to the floor.

His Mom did not rush to help him. She kept the barrels trained on his Dad until he closed the front door behind him.

Eddie physically shakes the memory from himself in a shudder as he opens the hood of his van to assess the damage. It didn't look like anything had been tampered with. Maybe she was just having a moment. He grabs his toolbox from the van, takes off his jackets, and begins the painstaking process of elimination.

He didn't like guys. It was just a phase. You know what? Not even a phase. It was one guy, just one! A few fumblings and kisses here and there, nothing sordid. They were just kids. They didn't know any better.

It was just...how did that counselor put it...an experiment.

When asked, Eddie had answered truthfully. He liked girls, he wanted to marry a girl and have kids, but he liked his friend too. The counselor explained that puberty could complicate your feelings and cloud your vision. The way he explained it to Eddie seemed like it made perfect sense. He was extremely close with his best friend. They had both been too shy to approach girls, but we're curious about things, so they practiced with one another. It was nothing to dwell on, a common mistake. Just forget all about it. Move on. It meant nothing.

That was so long ago, but the words might as well be embossed on Eddie's brain. He gets back to solving the problem at hand, getting this old girl up and running so he can get home.

When Eddie got in the zone, time flew past so quickly. Before he knows it, the movie ends, and soon the cars around him start to peel away. He's only got a few more things he can think of to try. He wipes his grease-covered hands on his jeans and takes out a cigarette for a well-earned break.

Eddie sits on the edge of the engine area, his feet resting on the bumper as he looks up into the night sky. At least it was a warm night. If he had to walk all the way back to the trailer park, at least he wouldn't freeze to death.

He feels his eyes pull down the now sparse line of cars. Steve's car is still here, but it doesn't look like he's in it.

Shit, what if his words had pushed Steve over the edge or something. He should probably go check on him, right?

No, definitely not. That would be a really fucking bad idea. Eddie tries his hardest to look at anything but Steve's car, but his eyes keep getting drawn back there as the guilt weighs down on him.

He rolls his eyes and groans, hopping down from the van and flicking his cigarette butt into the darkness. A quick look around couldn't hurt, and it would put his mind at ease.

As he rounds the corner to clean his hands properly and get his jackets, he nearly accidentally charges full-speed walk into someone and stumbles backward just before impact, raising his hands without looking up. "Shit, sorry. I Didn't see you there".

Eddie half hoped it might be Steve, but he wasn't that lucky.

"Damn right, you didn't! I knew you'd come back for this heap of shit," he hears Jason's voice, but before he can talk his way out of it, Jason's fist comes reeling towards his cheek. The impact sends Eddie crashing into the side of his van head first, making him drop to the floor unconscious.

[mtap-comics]

Welcome back to my Bad Things Happen Bingo!

Fandom: My time at Portia

Pairing: Arlo x Female Builder

Summary: Elenya takes a hit for Arlo. The latter, of course, is /not/ pleased about this at all.

Word count: 7,389

Prompt: Anger Born of Worry

Author’s note: I'm sorry you had to wait so long again. I had some stressfull weeks which resulted in a really bad writers block, but I finally manged to finish another fill. I hope the length of it makes up a little bit for it, though! :)

There will be a lot of angst in this one, probably the worst of all the works so far, but the ending is as cavity-inducing as you now it from me. :D Please notify your dentist in advance.

Now I won't keep you any longer and wish you a happy reading!

Warnings: Lots of Angst and lots of Fluff, Blood and Injury

Read on AO3: Link

Scars of Sacrifice

Sweat stood on Elenya's forehead. It was the height of summer and together with Arlo and Remi she was standing in front of a tunnel in the middle of the Eufala Desert. A small earthquake in the desert had revealed an old tunnel, and Arlo had immediately ordered that no one was to enter it until the Civil Corps had thoroughly examined it. 

Elenya helped Arlo and Remi on the dangerous expedition, even though she wasn't an official member. She was glad that Arlo, even though they had been married for over a year, still allowed her to help in such matters and trusted her ability to fight. He still worried about her, of course, but he also knew that Elenya was not one to be kept away from adventure.

Trouble always found her, even when she wasn't looking for it.

They had faced many challenges together since they first met in Portia, and their love for each other had only grown stronger through those experiences. Just as this one was about to do.

~~~~~~

The tunnel entrance was ancient and the air inside was thick and musty. It was hard to tell how old the tunnel was. Had it been dug before the Age of Darkness, or had it been dug by the people looking for relics a hundred years ago? They'd probably never know, but it wasn't really important. 

It was more important to make sure that there was no danger coming from this tunnel. Who knew what had been hidden here all these years?

Cautiously and attentively they followed the tunnel, Elenya at Arlo's request slightly behind the two men. And indeed, it wasn't long before they encountered the first giant worms. They shot out of the ground as if from nowhere, but the three of them made quick work of the four cell worms.

After a quick check from Arlo to make sure everyone was OK, they pushed deeper into the tunnel. The air became increasingly stuffy the further they went, and Elenya was glad she had taken one of Dr. Xu's tinctures for her asthma before they left. It was really hard to breathe in here.

For the next 5 minutes they encountered a few individual worms now and then, and so far that seemed to be the biggest threat coming out of the tunnel. But Elenya didn't dare hope that something much worse wasn't waiting for them.

Arlo and Remi were getting nervous as well. Arlo looked back at her more often, as if to make sure she was all right, and each time she tried to smile at him reassuringly. 

Anticipation was building inside her and she couldn't decide if she wanted the inevitable to happen sooner or later. With every step they took, the tension in the air grew.

After a sharp turn, a large cave suddenly opened up in front of them. An unnatural light shone from it and Arlo immediately stopped them with a wave of his hand.

"What...?" Remi started to speak, but Arlo pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him instantly.

"Shh." With a hand signal he told them to listen more closely and Elenya strained to follow his request.

At first she heard nothing, but then... The shuffling of feet and something being dragged across the floor.

It sounded like...

"Miner variants." Remi whispered her thoughts and tightened his grip on his hammer.

"Yes, and at least six of them." Arlo confirmed, his voice barely more than a breath.

Six against three then. That shouldn't be a problem for them. After all the hours she had already spent in Ingall's Mine, these monsters were more than familiar to her.

Still, an unpleasant anxiety spread through her. Her heart began to pound and sweat made her hands slippery. Almost painfully, she gripped the hilt of her sword.

Could they really take on so many at once? What if, for once, they were intelligent enough to lunge at one of them at the same time?

She did not notice how her breathing quickened until familiar blue eyes slid into her vision and instantly a part of her fear vanished. They looked at her with concern and determination, silently telling her that they were in this together, no matter what danger lay ahead. Arlo's unwavering support gave Elenya the strength she needed to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

Without exchanging words, they formulated a plan. Arlo motioned for Elenya to take cover behind a large rock formation while he and Remi strategically positioned themselves on the opposite side of the cave entrance. She admired the coordinated movements between the two, a testament to the time they had already fought side by side together.

With a nod of reassurance, Elenya took her position, her heart still pounding, but now with a newfound sense of determination. She knew that Arlo and Remington had her back and she would do everything in her power to protect them as well.

With one last deep breath and a signal from Arlo, the two Civil Corps charged into the room. They surprised the monsters and quickly defeated the first Miner Variant before engaging in a battle with two of them each.

That left one more, which continued to look bewildered between the two fighting groups. This was Elenya's chance. She could always take on one of them.

At first she tried to sneak up on it as quietly as possible, but then she saw it turn its attention to Arlo and lunge at him, so she quickly jumped in between, deflecting the scythe with her sword.

The screech of metal against metal filled the cave as Elenya parried the Miner Variant's attack, pushing back against its immense strength. Her heart raced as she engaged in a fierce dance with the creature, every clash of their weapons echoing through the chamber.

Arlo and Remi were locked in their own battles, the sounds carried over to her. But Elenya couldn't afford to be distracted by their fights. She focused solely on the relentless Miner Variant in front of her, its glowing eyes filled with malicious intent.

She had fought many of these monsters before, but these seemed a little different from the ones in Ingall's Mine. Bigger, paler, and most of all... faster .

With each of her blows and parries, the monster managed to match her every move. It was as if this Miner Variant had an uncanny understanding of her fighting style. Frustration welled up within Elenya, mixing with the adrenaline coursing through her veins. She needed an opening, a chance to end this battle.

Suddenly it came - a fleeting weakness in her opponent's defence. Elenya seized the moment, her muscles reacting instinctively as she aimed her strike at the creature's exposed side. But in a blur of motion, the Miner Variant evaded her attack and countered, its scythe arcing towards her chest.

Fear tightened around Elenya's heart as she twisted her body, narrowly avoiding the scythe's deadly arc. The close call sent a shiver down her spine and her senses heightened. She knew she had to think fast, her life depended on it.

Every muscle in her body tensed as she observed the Miner Variant's movements, her mind racing to decipher its patterns. Taking a calculated risk, she went on the offensive, delivering a quick series of blows to the creature's legs. With precise, lightning-fast movements, she tried to impair the creature's mobility. The Miner Variant stumbled, its scythe momentarily off balance, and Elenya saw her opportunity.

She lunged forward, her sword gleaming in the dim light, and struck with all her might. In one swift motion, the blade sliced through the air and found its target, piercing the creature's torso. The Miner Variant let out a guttural roar, its body jerking in pain. Elenya stood, breathless and trembling, as the creature crumpled to the ground, lifeless. 

Her chest heaved, a mixture of relief and exhaustion washing over her. This had been much harder than she was used to.

How had these monsters become so strong down here? There was nothing in here after all.

The clank of a sword snapped her out of her thoughts and she remembered with a start that the fight wasn't over yet. She quickly glanced over at Remi, who had also finished off one of his opponents and was still busy with the second, but didn't seem to need any help.

Then her eyes wandered to Arlo and it was as if time stood still. He, too, had already killed one monster without any problems and, slightly turned away from her, was fighting the second, but that was not what made her freeze in horror.

No, behind him, completely unnoticed by the three of them, a seventh Miner Variant had crept up. As if in slow motion, she saw it raise its scythe high above its head, ready to strike a fatal blow.

A deafening buzz filled her ears, all-encompassing panic gripped her, and she tried to yell a warning to Arlo, but no sound escaped her throat. Without her knowledge, her feet began to move. 

Slowly, the scythe lowered and pure desperation made her speed up.

Oh God, please don't let her be too late!

Suddenly Elenya crashed into Arlo's side and time jumped back to normal speed.

With a dull thud, they both hit the ground. For a moment she thought she had prevented the worst, but then it hit her. The pain .

It spread across her back like fire. Tore at her body and had the impact not knocked the air out of her lungs, she would have screamed. But she couldn't. Instead, the pain overwhelmed her and everything went dark.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Arlo didn't know what hit him at first. One second he was delivering the final blow to the monster in front of him and the next he was on the ground, a familiar weight on top of him.

The impact knocked the air out of him and it took him a moment to catch his breath. 

What?

Confused, he looked first at the Miner Variant that had suddenly appeared where he had been, as if from nowhere, and at the way Remy was driving it away with his hammer, and then at the shock of black hair resting on his chest.

Elenya.

A surge of fear shot through him, coupled with the terrible realisation of what must have happened. Desperately, he called out her name, in the hope of some kind of response that would alleviate his growing dread.

"Elenya! Please answer me!" His trembling right hand reached out to gently shake her shoulder, but as soon as his fingers made contact, a small whimper escaped her lips and his heart clenched.

His fingers met something warm and sticky, and far too much of it.

"Elenya..."

As carefully as he could, he pulled out from under her, eliciting pained whimpers that tore at his heart, but he needed to know what had happened. He made sure to lay her on the floor in the same position she had been on top of him.

When he finally knelt beside her and could examine her back, he wished he could turn back time. A deep, long cut ran from her left shoulder down the middle of her back, stopping just short of her spine. Blood flowed in streams from it.

His stomach turned and horror rendered him immobile.

Oh God...

For far too long a time he stared at the horrific sight before him. Time in which Elenya lost precious blood.

By the time he was able to shake himself from his stupor, her blood was already spreading across the floor and he desperately pulled everything out of his waist pack until he had compresses in his hands. With both hands, he pressed the compresses firmly against her back, desperately attempting to stem the bleeding.

A faint cry of pain tore from Elenya's throat and a stream of apologetic words flowed from his mouth.

"I'm so sorry, darling. Everything will be alright. Please hold on. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

But the blood refused to let up, the metallic smell rising into his nose, and he pressed harder, his actions fuelled by desperation. Elenya's cries faded to silence.

"Please, please hold on. You can't die. Please don't..." Fear ate him up inside.

How had this happened? Why hadn't he noticed the presence of the Miner Variant? And, most agonising of all, why had Elenya chosen to throw herself in harm's way?

Fear, horror, confusion and anger mixed within him, overwhelming him like a searing wave. Unbeknownst to him, tears of despair fell upon his hands as he fought desperately to save Elenya's life.

Only Remington's shocked voice managed to break through the chaos consuming him.

"Arlo!" His best friend dropped to his knees beside him, his expression mirroring Arlo's own horror.

"Remi, help me," Arlo pleaded in a strained, shaking voice. He needed someone else to be there with him, his normal control slipping with Elenya's blood through his fingers. His mind raced, trying to remember any knowledge of first aid that might help them in this situation. But panic threatened to overwhelm him, and he fought to keep his focus on saving Elenya.

Despite his shock, Remington sprang into action. He dug into his waist pack and pulled out all the first aid supplies he could find.

"Come on, we need to get her jacket and T-shirt off. Otherwise we can't bandage her." Remi tried to pull his hands away, but he resisted.

"I can't! She's losing blood way too fast!" Pure panic filled his voice. Elenya was about to bleed to death and he didn't know what to do. 

"Okay, okay, I'll have to cut off the jacket then. We can leave the T-shirt on. You keep the pressure on, I'll work around you." Quickly, Remington pulled out a small knife and started cutting what was left of Elenya's jacket.

Meanwhile, Arlo never let up the pressure on Elenya's wound. The compresses and his hands were the only thing keeping her from certain death.

Once the jacket was out of the way, Remi grabbed a fresh pile of compresses and instructed Arlo to remove the ones that had completely bled through. With Remi's guidance, they managed to wrap several bandages tightly around Elenya's torso, stopping most of the bleeding.

"We need to get her out of here, back to Portia," Remington said, his voice steady despite the turmoil in his eyes. "I'll take her horse. You carry her. We'll ride as fast as we can."

Arlo nodded, his friend's words a lifeline in the midst of the chaos. Gently, carefully , he lifted Elenya into his arms, cradling her as if she were the most precious thing in the world. Which she was. At least to him. He could feel her shallow breaths against his chest and prayed with every fibre of his being that she would hold on.

With Remington leading the way, they hurried out of the cave and mounted their horses. Elenya was carefully placed in front of Arlo on his horse, supported by his strong arms. Her head rested against his shoulder and he could feel her feverish skin against his neck.

"Stay with me, Elenya," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "Come on, sweetheart. You can make it."

The ride back to Portia was a blur. He barely remembered passing the bridge or the gate. Not even the people calling out to them anxiously as they raced through the streets. All he could focus on was the gentle up and down of Elenya's chest under his hand. They couldn't lose a second. It could be Elenya's last.

Twenty minutes after they had set off, they finally reached the clinic at the top of the hill. Remi helped him carefully lift Elenya off the horse, and then they rushed through the door of the clinic. 

Inside, two pairs of startled eyes locked on them, quickly widening in shock at the sight of the bloodied Elenya in Arlo's arms.

"Arlo, Remington, what happened? Quick, put her down here." Quickly, Dr. Xu scurried over to the bed behind the room divider and instructed Arlo to lay Elenya down on it.

Hesitantly, he complied. The fear and desperation in him didn't want to let her go, wanted to keep her safe in his arms, but reason quickly took over. As carefully as he could, he placed her on the bed and turned her onto her stomach so that she wouldn't lie on her wound.

At the movement, a pained whimper escaped her, tearing at his heart and at the same time flooding him with slight relief. As painful as the sound was, it told him they weren't too late. Her consciousness was still aware of something.

A horrified gasp went through the room as Elenya's back came into view of the two medics. The bandages that Remi and he had applied as best they could were now completely soaked through, and the mere sight of them made Arlo dizzy.

Oh God, how much blood had she lost by now?

For a moment all he could do was stare at Elenya's back in utter horror until Dr. Xu shooed him away. Or at least tried to.

He tried to force his legs to move, but another overwhelming wave of emotions had overtaken him, leaving him motionless. Paralysed, he stared down at the petite figure of his wife, his everything, who had risked her life to save his.

A hand wrapped around his upper arm and pulled him a few steps away, but he barely noticed.

Dr. Xu's voice broke through Arlo's trance, sharp and authoritative. "Arlo, I need you to step back. We need to tend to her injuries."

Arlo tore his eyes from Elenya's still form, his heart pounding in his chest. He nodded, feeling a mixture of guilt and helplessness. He stumbled back, his legs feeling weak beneath him. Remington stood at his side, a supportive presence in the midst of the chaos.

"Come on, let's give these two some space so they can work undisturbed." Without waiting for a response, Remi pulled him out of the clinic and over to their headquarters. 

Arlo wanted to resist, couldn't bear to leave Elenya alone, but Remi's gentle but firm grip on his upper arm wouldn't budge. Only when they were standing in the middle of the large room of their headquarters did Remi let go of him.

Not knowing what to do with himself, Arlo stopped. Completely lost, he stared unseeingly into the air before him until two strong hands placed themselves on his shoulders and brown eyes bored into his. There was deep concern and tension in them as well, but Remi was far more composed than he was.

"Arlo, everything is going to be fine. Elenya's strong and Dr. Xu and Phyllis know what they're doing. She'll be fine, okay?" 

Arlo nodded weakly, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know, Remi. It's just... seeing her like that, covered in blood... I can't shake that image."

Remington's grip on Arlo's shoulders tightened reassuringly. "I understand, Arlo. But right now you need to take care of yourself as well. You're covered in her blood and that's not going to help anyone."

Arlo's gaze drifted down to his blood-soaked clothes and a shudder ran through him. He hadn't even realised how much of Elenya's blood had gotten on him during their desperate struggle to save her. The reality hit him like a punch to the gut, and his stomach churned at the sight.

"You're right," he managed to croak, his throat tightening. "I need to clean up."

Remington patted his back sympathetically. "Take a shower, get the blood off you. I'll bring you some of my clothes."

Numbly, Arlo made his way to the bathroom. His movements were mechanical, his mind still clouded by the terrible events of the day. As he turned on the water and stepped into the shower, he felt the warmth seep into his skin, but he couldn't shake the coldness that seemed to have settled in his bones.

The blood was diluted now, swirling down the drain with the water. But even the sight of it disappearing didn't lighten the weight on his chest. He couldn't get the image of Elenya's injured form out of his mind, and the realisation of how close he had come to losing her was suffocating.

On top of that came this incredible anger. By now he didn't know whether he was more angry at her or at himself. How could he have missed the seventh Miner Variant? Why hadn't he noticed it sneaking up on him? And why, why had Elenya thrown herself in between?

Arlo abruptly turned off the shower, stumbled out and collapsed on the bathroom floor. His breath came in ragged gasps and he covered his mouth with his hand, fighting the urge to vomit. The blood, the fear, the helplessness, the anger - it was all too overwhelming.

Remington's voice echoed in his head, urging him to take care of himself. Arlo pressed his palms against his temples, his heart racing as he concentrated on the sound of his own uneven breathing. Slowly, his pulse began to steady and he pushed himself to his feet.

With trembling hands, he reached for a towel and wrapped it around himself, noticing that Remi had left some clothes on the counter for him. Barely controlling his emotions, he dried himself and pulled on the simple t-shirt and sweatpants. With one last look in the mirror to make sure all the blood had been washed away, he left the bathroom.

Outside, Remi was waiting for him with a slight smile. 

"Better?"

Arlo nodded curtly. It was an outright lie, but Remington was just as worried about Elenya and he didn't want to burden him with his out of control emotions.

"I'm glad to hear that. I'll take a shower as well, okay?" Remi demonstratively showed him another bundle of clean clothes and Arlo nodded again. He couldn't get a word out of his tightened throat.

With one last worried look, Remi disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Arlo alone with his inner turmoil. The training dummy, silent witness to his torment, caught his eye. Without even thinking about wrapping his hands or putting on gloves, he unleashed his pent-up emotions on the inanimate object. Each punch carried the weight of his anger, fear, and despair, as if he could physically beat away the tormenting 'whys' that plagued his thoughts.

The room seemed to shrink around him as he sought refuge in his relentless assault on the dummy. The dull thuds of his fists against the worn fabric filled the space, mirroring the cacophony of questions that echoed in his mind. Each blow was a futile attempt to find answers, a way to rationalise the incomprehensible.

His knuckles split open, but he didn't notice. The pain in his hands was nothing compared to the agony in his heart. Blood mixed with sweat, staining the dummy and his hands in a gruesome display of his inner turmoil. Yet, he didn't care about the pain or the mess; he needed an outlet for the overwhelming emotions threatening to consume him.

Time became a blur as he lost himself in this frenzied assault. He didn't know how long he had been at it when suddenly two strong hands closed around his upper arms, pulling him away from his desperate endeavour. Arlo fought the grip with all his might, every fibre of his being yearning to return to the only solace he'd found in this moment of chaos.

"Arlo! Stop!" The voice, barely recognisable through his tumultuous thoughts, penetrated his consciousness. Remi's familiar voice made him stop and clarity returned to his thoughts.

Arlo's laboured breaths filled the room as his arms fell powerlessly to his side. His eyes were wild, a storm of emotions swirling within them. He felt vulnerable, exposed, as if his soul had been laid bare. The 'whys' still echoed, but now there was another question fighting for dominance: "Why couldn't he protect her?"

As if in a trance, he followed the drops of blood dripping from his hands to the floor.

Drip, drip, drip...

Another pair of shoes slid into his field of vision and he recognised them as Sam's.

When had she come in?

Confused, he lifted his gaze slightly from her shoes to her green eyes and was greeted with deep concern. A sad smile sat on her lips.

Shame crept up his spine and for a moment he tried to control his emotions, to get into his 'captain' mode, but quickly realised he didn't have the strength. Instead, his shoulders slumped even more and he let Remi lead him over to one of the yellow armchairs without resistance.

He could hear Sam disappearing into the bathroom as he was pushed into the chair and a short time later Sam was kneeling on the floor in front of him, one of his bloody hands in hers, cleaning his cracked knuckles. The cleaning burned like fire, but instead of complaining, he welcomed the pain. It distracted him from all the terrible feelings that were eating him up inside.

No one spoke a word while Sam tended to his hands and there was a tense, worry-filled silence in the headquarters. Remi, meanwhile, wiped the blood from the floor and the training dummy, and a new wave of shame and guilt washed over Arlo.

Not only was Elenya badly injured because of him (he tried to banish the "maybe even dead" thought from his mind immediately), no, his teammates now had to take care of his mess as well. Couldn't he do anything right today?

15 minutes later, his hands were cleaned and bandaged, and the three of them were sitting squashed together on their couch. There had still been no word from either of them, and Arlo was grateful to his two friends. Nothing anyone could say to him would help him now. Only Dr. Xu telling him that Elenya would be fine would be able to quell his fear.

He didn't know how long they sat there. His thoughts were solely on his wife, who was fighting for her life one building away. All alone, without him.

His heart tightened painfully for the hundredth time today and with a low groan he buried his face in his bandaged hands. His emotions threatened to overwhelm him again when the door finally opened and an exhausted Dr. Xu entered.

All three of them were instantly on alert as they watched Dr. Xu walk over to them and drop into the chair beside them. 

Before any of them could say anything, the doctor began to speak.

"First things first, she's going to make it." 

Immediately, a heavy weight was lifted from Arlo's heart. She was going to make it.

"But it was damn close this time. Really close. Elenya had lost so much blood that her body went into shock and her heart threatened to stop..."

Arlo felt like his heart was going to stop. His sweet little builder had really almost died? The horror must have been written all over his face, because Dr. Xu hurried to continue speaking quickly.

"But we managed to stabilise her! We had enough blood to replace most of the blood she had lost. I cleaned and stitched the wound on her back and bandaged it tightly. She was really lucky. A little further and there would have been a risk of nerves in her spine being severed. But as far as I can tell at the moment, she should recover almost completely. However, I cannot promise that she will ever regain full use of her arm. The cut did a lot of damage to her shoulder muscles."

Exhausted, Dr. Xu sank further into the soft cushion of the chair after his explanation, letting his words sink in for the three of them.

Arlo didn't know what to feel. The strongest was relief, followed by pain at the thought of what Elenya would have to endure over the next few weeks, and then there was that anger that wouldn't let go of him. 

She might have risked her career for him. What if she could no longer move her arm enough to pursue her passion for building? How could she risk that just to take the fall of his own inattention?

Remi snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Can we see her?"

Immediately his attention snapped back to Dr. Xu. The latter gave a deep sigh.

"Phyllis is taking care of her right now. I just wanted to let you know in advance that she'll be fine. But I think Arlo can go and see her. I'm sure you're dying to see her."

He didn't need to be told twice. Without really paying attention to the others, he jumped up and a moment later was standing in the clinic, his gaze fixed on the room divider behind which he could hear Phyllis working.

Suddenly completely conflicted about whether he even wanted to know what was behind it, he approached the hospital bed with hesitant steps.

The first thing he saw were Elenya's feet, covered by a light white blanket. The closer he got, the more came into his field of vision. He quickly saw that she was turned onto her right side, large pillows behind her back ensuring that she couldn't turn onto her back and onto her wound.

He stopped at the foot of the bed. Now he could see what Phyllis was doing. She was gently wiping the dirt and blood from Elenya's face with a basin of water and a soft cloth. She had already braided Elenya's long black hair into a loose plait to keep it out of the way, giving Arlo a clear view of her pale and slightly sunken cheeks.

Seeing those beloved features, as unhealthy as they looked at the moment, relieved him a little more and he let his gaze slide down to her shoulder. Her left arm was resting on a large pillow and her entire torso was wrapped in thick bandages, but now they were pristine white and another weight fell from his heart. 

The only blood left was covering Elenya's forearm. Phyllis had probably not yet had time to clean it.

An uncontrollable desire to touch Elenya suddenly overcame him and he cleared his throat softly to get Phyllis' attention. Startled, she turned to him.

"Oh, Arlo, I didn't hear you come in. I need a moment, then you can sit with her." A warm, reassuring smile graced her lips, but he couldn't wait any longer.

"Can I maybe...?" It was only at the sound of his raspy voice that he realised how long it had been since he'd said anything, but didn't let it faze him. His hand pointed first to the soft rag in her hand, then to Elenya's blood-encrusted arm. Confused, Phyllis looked at him for a moment before she seemed to understand what he was asking. Her gaze softened even more.

"Of course. You just have to be very careful not to move her shoulder. It was very difficult to sew the wound and the stitches are very fragile." She handed him the cloth and made room for him.

Silently, he sat down on the chair beside the bed and dipped the cloth into the lukewarm water from the basin on the table beside the bed. He wrung out the excess water and then wiped the last bit of dirt from Elenya's forehead as gently as he could.

Once the spot was clean, he pressed his lips gently against it and whispered against her forehead: "Hey, sweetie. I'll watch over you, okay? I'll take care of you."

With the same tenderness, he continued to clean every bit of dirt and blood from her skin until she was as clean as she could be. Phyllis took the basin of dirty water from him, checked once more that Elenya was lying correctly and that the IV needle in the back of her hand hadn’t slipped, then left him alone.

Once more he pressed a long, warm kiss against Elenya's forehead and then leaned back in the chair to watch over her healing sleep.

For four days he sat there almost non stop, four long days in which Elenya didn't stir. Soothed the light fever she developed with a cool cloth, tried to dispel any bad dreams and whispered loving, encouraging words in her ear. And then, on the morning of the fifth day, he had just come into the clinic, freshly awakened from a fitful sleep in his old room, her eyelids finally fluttered open and her beautiful green eyes appeared.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Elenya awoke in confusion. Where was she?

The first thing she noticed was that she was lying on her right side. Nothing unusual at first, she usually slept on her side, but then there was usually a muscular, warm chest beneath her, with a strong, reassuring heartbeat beating beneath it.

But there was no heartbeat under her ear, and the mattress she was lying on was definitely not hers. There also seemed to be several pillows behind her, preventing her from rolling over. In general, there were a lot of pillows around her. Her left arm also appeared to be resting on one. This, together with a tight bandage around her upper body, kept her in a stable position.

What was going on?

There was only one way to find out.

With difficulty she managed to open her eyes, and instantly all the tension that had built up inside her disappeared as her eyes fell on the familiar redhead in front of her.

Arlo was here, so at least she was safe. He was rubbing his eyes and didn't notice that she had woken up, but as soon as he lowered his hands and his gaze fell on her open eyes, his features lit up.

"Elenya, sweetheart! You're awake!" Joyfully, his slightly hoarse voice echoed through the room and his warm hand came to rest gently on her cheek. He leaned closer to her.

"It's good to see those beautiful eyes again. I was so worried. How are you feeling?" A warm but strained smile graced his lips and for a moment she could only stare at him.

Deep shadows lay under his eyes, his face was pale, and his normally bright blue eyes seemed dull. And she thought she hadn't imagined the bruised knuckles she'd just caught a glimpse of. What had happened?

She could barely remember. They were in the desert, that much she remembered, but what had happened after that? What had made Arlo so worried?

Elenya tried to ask him, but her mouth was completely dry and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. A strangled sound left her throat.

"Oh, I'm sorry, darling. Here." Arlo seemed to realise immediately what her problem was and reached for the glass on the table next to the hospital bed on which she must have been lying. A straw rested in it, which he now gently slipped between her lips.

She sucked greedily at the straw, enjoying the way the cool water moistened first her mouth and then her dry throat. Before she could empty the glass in quick gulps, though, Arlo pulled it away from her again. A protesting sound escaped her.

"Slow down, sweetheart, or you'll get sick. You've been unconscious for four days, your stomach needs to get used to liquids again." He stroked her hair apologetically, but his words made her forget her lingering thirst.

Four days? She had been unconscious for four days ? That would explain at least one thing. No wonder Arlo looked so exhausted. Worry must have been eating him up inside.

"Arlo?" She was startled by the weak, exhausted tone of her voice. Was that really her?

"Yes, sweetheart?" His hand slid from her hair down to her cheek, and with a soft sigh, she snuggled into his warm palm.

"What... what exactly happened?" Her second attempt to speak wasn't any better, but Arlo had no trouble understanding her.

"You want to know what happened?" To her surprise, his face suddenly twisted with anger and he withdrew his hand. "You almost died, that's what happened! Because you were a bloody idiot!" He was seething.

"How could you be so careless? I took you with me because I know you can look after yourself. But I didn't expect you to be stupid enough to get between me and the sharp scythe of a Miner Variant. What the hell were you thinking?!"

Furious, Arlo paced in front of her bed, running his hands through his hair and breathing heavily. 

Concern rose in Elenya. She had never seen Arlo so angry, let alone at her, and she didn't know how to handle that. 

At the mention of a scythe, however, images finally surfaced in her mind that would explain quite a bit.

"Why the hell did you do that? Why?" He stopped in front of the chair.

"You could have died, for fuck's sake! And it would have been my fault..." His voice broke on the last words and he collapsed on the chair, crying.

Her heart broke in two at the sight and she was overcome with guilt.

She didn't regret what she'd done, but she'd never wanted to put Arlo through that kind of pain.

"Arlo..." She wanted to reach for him, wipe away his tears, but even the slightest tensing of her arm sent terrible pain from her shoulder to her spine, and with a shocked gasp, she quickly dropped her hand back to the pillows in front of her.

Like fire, the pain spread down her back and she couldn't stop herself from whimpering.

Oh God...

"Elenya, stop! Please, don't move. You'll open your stitches!" Quick as a flash, Arlo shot back up from his chair. Anger still radiated from him, but his touch was all gentle and careful as he placed his large hand on top of hers, stopping her from moving any further.

Not that she had any intention of doing that again.

She struggled to breathe through the pain, tears streaming down her face as the agony refused to subside, taking her breath away.

"Hey, shhh, you're okay. Come on, take a deep breath. You can do this. Just breathe." Gently, Arlo's free hand stroked through her hair and she desperately concentrated on the sensation of his warm hands.

After several agonising minutes, the pain gradually subsided, leaving her utterly exhausted and her muscles limp. Arlo still clasped her hand in his and used his other hand to gently wipe away her tears. With great effort, she managed to flip her hand beneath his, offering a weak squeeze as an apology.

"I'm sorry, Arlo. I didn't mean to cause you so much pain." Her voice was so weak and she could feel her body fighting to stay awake, but she really needed to talk to him about it.

There was so much pain, fear and anger in his eyes and she wanted, needed , to calm at least some of it.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you like that..." Arlo pulled the chair closer to the bed and sank into it, exhausted, never letting go of her hand. "It's just... I don't understand. Why would you do something like that? What were you thinking?" Confusion and distress etched his face, and another tear slipped from his eye.

How she longed to wipe it away.

"To be honest... I wasn't thinking at all. I just saw you being attacked from behind and I... just acted. One moment I saw the raised scythe, and the next... searing pain, and then nothing..." Her voice weakened with each word, but she fought the exhaustion. She couldn't sleep now. Arlo needed her.

He flinched slightly when she mentioned pain and then ran a stressed hand through his hair.

"That was so stupid of you. Besides the big scar you will now bear forever, Dr. Xu said you might never get full use of your arm again. If that happens, you might never be able to build anything again, and all of this just to protect me. I just don't understand how you could do something so stupid..." Desperately he looked at her, confusion still deep in his eyes.

Before she could answer him, what he'd said hit home. For a moment, Elenya's world stopped. She might have to give up her profession? But... what would she do then?

For a split second, she regretted what she had done, but then that thought immediately vanished again. If she hadn't done what she had, she might have lost Arlo forever, and she couldn't bear that. She would rather not swing a hammer for the rest of her life than live without Arlo for even one day.

And she decided to tell him just that.

"I love you, Arlo. So very much. I'm sorry I caused you so much worry and pain, but I'd do it again any time. I can't imagine my life without you. I would rather not be able to work another day than have to be without you." Just thinking about it brought tears to her eyes, but Arlo was quick to wipe them away.

"Oh, my sweet, idiot builder. I don't want to spend a day without you either. But that's what almost happened. For a moment, I thought I had lost you." A brief flicker of despair crossed his face, but it quickly disappeared, replaced by a look of love. Gently, he pressed his forehead against hers.

"I love you so much, darling. Please always remember that I can't lose you any more than you can." A short pause. "But thank you for saving my life."

For an eternally long moment they looked deeply into each other's eyes, lost in the familiar feeling of love, until Elenya's last reserves of strength were used up. Without her consent, her eyes kept falling shut, but she kept trying to fight it.

She didn't want to sleep again. Arlo was here with her.

But he, of course, saw her exhaustion and, after a gentle kiss against her forehead, moved away from her.

"You need to rest, darling. Sleep."

"But..."

"I'll be here when you wake up." Arlo, as always, seemed to know exactly what was going on inside her and so she finally gave in.

Her eyes closed, Arlo's gently smiling face disappearing behind her eyelids, but exhausted as she was, sleep wouldn't come.

She felt strangely cold. Not physically cold, but mentally. As if something was missing. But what?

With a soft sigh she opened her eyes again. Maybe Arlo could help her? He always knew how to make her feel better.

Concerned blue eyes met hers as her vision finally focused.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" Arlo's voice dripped with concern and she hurried to deny his question.

"No, it's just... I don't know... I can't fall asleep." Seeking help, she looked at him. Her head was swimming with exhaustion and she could feel her body crying out for sleep. But then why wasn't it coming?

The worry didn't leave Arlo's gaze and thoughtfully he looked at her. For a long time he said nothing, until suddenly he started to take off his sweater.

Confused, Elenya watched him. What was he up to? Not that she ever minded him taking his clothes off, but that usually didn't help her fall asleep.

As he held the soft, grey garment in his hands, he slid it as gently as possible under her head and adjusted it until the collar of the sweater was directly under her nose. The fabric was still slightly warm against her cheek, and with the familiar scent now rising directly into her nose, something inside her settled. The empty feeling inside her disappeared and her eyes closed in relief.

It seemed she had missed Arlo .

"Thank you..." The words left her lips like a soft breath, her mind already half asleep and only vaguely aware of Arlo's warm lips pressing against her temple.

"Anytime, sweetheart. Sleep well, my heart."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my best friend I basically want to spend the rest of my life with her?

(This is long, I'm sorry, I'm incapable of shortly summarizing things)

Ok. So. I (26NB/FTM) am not in love with my best friend (25F), I'm ace and either aro or demiromantic (honestly not sure anymore). But I do love her as much as I can love anyone, probably. To the extent that I would want to be in a committed relationship (qpr I guess) with her and genuinely want to spend the rest of my life with her.

The thing is, she's neither aro nor ace and has only recently (last year) started overcoming fears and anxiety enough that she's gone on dates and wants to try having a relationship. It wasn't easy for her to get to this point and her anxiety is still a major thing she deals with, especially now trying to have a relationship. I know she doesn't love me romantically (not that I would particularly want her to) bc I'm firmly in the friend category and she's said that she can't fall in love with friends (though, again, I don't… want her to be in love me? Since I'm not in love with her either).

I want her to have these experiences. We're both still young and while I just don't need or want anything in that regard, I know it's different for her and in a way it's her finally being able to be herself, live for herself and do what she wants (she had a rough childhood and was basically the one raising her little brother). So, I really do want her to have these experiences and I'm not really jealous either bc I know I'm still more important to her ("bros before hoes" and all that, even if the hoes are guys lol). Though I have to admit it's recently been getting harder being genuinely happy for her when things go well with dates and I suppose I'm a little worried how things will be a few years down the line.

But we're very close. We've been friends for 8 years and best friends for almost as long. We tell each other everything. She's the most important person in my life and I'm the most important person in hers. We get mistaken for a couple constantly, at this point I'm pretty sure everyone in our families has at some point thought we're together. My mum basically treats her like a daughter; she's spent the last 3 Christmases with my family. Besides her brother, I'm the only person she truly cares about who she doesn't get anxious about. The reason I'm going to be moving back home after uni is because she still lives in the area; if she lived somewhere else I'd move there (that's not me being one-sidedly codependent btw, she would absolutely do the same). The jokes about how we need to die at the same time bc neither of us would want to live on alone are really only partly jokes.

Now, here's (finally) where I might be an asshole: When we were in school our friend group consisted of four guys, me and her. All the guys had a crush on her, though some she only found out about later. My best friend, at the time, identified as a lesbian (it's bi probably now). The guys knew that. Now this one guy she only found out about last year at a class reunion (I wasn't there) and he was being all weird about how he'd seen all the times they went to the movies together as dates etc. She thought they were jokingly calling those 'dates', we all did. Again, he knew she identified as gay and never actually said anything about being in love with her. He was also giving off incel-y vibes when she talked with him at the class reunion, so there's that.

We talked about that and well, I kinda admitted that there'd been a moment yeaaaaars ago (like 5?6?) where I felt myself fall in love with her and mentally went 'nope, nope, nope, not doing that (falling in love my best friend) again' and then… it didn't happen. Don't know how that worked. Either way, she made me promise if I ever did actually fall in love with her, that I would tell her. We were laughing about it but I know she was serious about that.

I don't plan on telling her though. I meaaaan I'm not in love with her, technically, which yes, I know, she would probably mean this too. But I know that, at least at this point in time, she doesn't want the same things I want and I want her to have these experiences of dating guys and being in a (allo) relationship etc. I don't want our relationship right now to change either and I know she would try to be considerate and I don't need or want that. I don't want her to overthink what she can or can't tell me, I don't mind hearing her talk about the guys she's dating and I want her to still come to me with everything. I know how she works, I've been basically managing her anxiety for years (genuinely do not mind that before anyone comes talking to me about boundaries) and I know I'm one of the few people in her life who try to let her come to her own conclusions/decisions instead of telling her what they think is right and/or what she should do (she's very easily influenced unfortunately and while I do tell her my opinions if she asks for them, I always try to let her come to her own conclusions first). I don't want her to lose all that. I don't want her to suddenly be anxious about me either, that is genuinely the last thing I would ever want.

TLDR: My best friend made me promise her that I would tell her if I fell in love with her, which I'm technically not, but I do want to spend the rest of my life with her & would want to be in a (queerplatonic) committed relationship with her. I don't want to tell her bc I know it's not what she wants, at least right now, and I want her to make her own experiences and I don't want our relationship to change with this.

AITA for not telling her I would want to be in a (queerplatonic) relationship with her?

What are these acronyms?