#that's how you know it will be a forced friendship

[99woez]

don't talk about it ᰔᩚ j.sc

warnings. smut, best friend!sungchan, roommate!sungchan, arguing, it's a dumb argument but you are fighting this man, physical fighting, just shoving nothing crazy but a physical altercation starts this all, unprotected sex, hair pulling, some angst? idk if i missed something let me know! i also did not proofread this because i got out 5k words in one night which is crazy for me. anyways, enjoy!

wc. 5k

summary. your best friend embarrasses you in front of your campus crush. so, of course, you decide to fight with him in the living room and learn some interesting things about him in the process.

Sungchan had always been stupidly large, in your opinion.

He was so large that you couldn’t resist the urge to playfully test his strength, curious to see how his fit frame would react to your playful jabs or if he would sway with a gentle nudge. He would playfully push you back, never with full force, but these light-hearted scuffles became a regular part of your friendship. It was a source of joy, a shared silliness, it meant everything.

Except for the times it did.

“You’re so stupid sometimes, oh my god!” You shouted at your so-called “best friend,” shoving hard into his chest. This shove wasn’t like the ones you usually gave him. This one was harsh and mean. There was not a semblance of anything alluding to happiness on your face as you looked up at Sungchan with knitted brows and parted lips, shoving hard into his firm chest once again, this time with a shout of frustration.

If we’re being honest, you two have been drinking. It’s not like you’re shitfaced and neither is he, but the alcohol is just enough to make the world blurry at the edges and your words harsher than you typically allow them to be. His chest, solid as a boulder beneath your pushing palms, doesn't yield like it usually would during your fond roughhousing. He stands firm, his expression teetering between annoyance and worry.

"Stop it," he gruffly says, grabbing your wrists mid-shove. Just like that, the playful laughter that usually echoes between you two gets choked in the tension-filled silence. You try to yank your hands-free, but his grip is firm yet gentle. He was never rough with you, even when the fights turned serious like this. It was a rarity for things to turn nasty, but sometimes Sungchan was so oblivious you couldn’t stop yourself from lashing out at him, especially with a few mixed drinks in your system.

“Let go,” You snapped. Sungchan leans in with a tilt of his head, letting out a “Hm?” as he does so, challenging you.

“Chill out first.” That did the exact opposite of chill you out. You hated it when he took that tone of voice with you, as if you were some child that needed to be put into a timeout. 

There were many things you loved about Sungchan: His kindness, his dedication to anything he sets his mind to, his eyes, you loved a lot about Sungchan, but there were many things you couldn’t stand about him. He was oblivious to the simplest of social cues, he got loud when he was drunk, and the way he comforted people was an absolute joke. If you hadn’t known him for more than half your life and shared an apartment with him, you would’ve ditched him when you two graduated high school.

But you didn’t. Now, you’re stuck with a big, dumb roommate who loves telling the men you like that you like them. God, Wonbin was never going to talk to you again after the scene Sungchan caused trying to get him to give you his number. You still can feel the embarrassment hot in your veins, making you lurch forward and finally give his chest a shove that makes him stumble a few steps.

“I won’t chill out! I won’t! What you did was fucking rude!” You yelled, pointing a finger in his face to punctuate your words and get your point across. Sungchan scoffed, turning his head away from you, but you could see his tongue press against the inside of his cheek, making the skin push out slightly. It was a habit of his you had noticed when you two went to parties together in college. It’s what he does when he’s annoyed and holding himself back, beating someone’s ass. It’s a rare occasion for Sungchan to beat someone’s ass, but when it did happen, it was always deserved. Typically, it would be a drunk guy who wanted to buck up to the biggest guy at the party, a one-sided battle of masculinity that Sungchan always won, no matter who came up to him. You’ve only seen Sungchan throw a punch twice in your entire friendship.

Once, when you were in high school, and the last time was at a party during your junior year of college when a man put his hands on you despite you telling him to fuck off. The other times, he had simply told you about when you’d see him in the kitchen with littered bruises on his body. You think about that night more often than you’d like to admit. Sungchan didn’t hesitate to throw a punch for you, knocking the man clean out by the time he was done with him. It lit a fire in you that you’re not proud to admit. There was just something in his eyes that rubbed your brain right. You would never admit it, but were desperate to see that look again. You wanted to see him angry, to watch him lose control no matter how fucked up it sounds.

“Get your hand out of my face,” Sungchan told you firmly, looking you in the eyes to get his point across, but you weren’t deterred. You step closer to him, finger still in his face.

“No. Not until you apologize. Admit it was rude. You were rude.”

“I wasn’t fucking rude,” Sungchan argues, swatting your hand down when you don’t move it from his face. You bring it back up without a care of the consequences, resulting in a game of him swatting your hand down every time you bring it up.

You two look stupid. Thank God this is in the privacy of your living room.

“You had no right-”

“You were never going to talk to him if I didn’t! You’re a chicken-”

“I’m not a fucking chicken––Oh my god, don’t call me a bird.”

“You’re such a fucking chicken, dude. Do you remember how long it took you to even talk to Shotaro? Months. ‘Took you months to even say hi to him, and that’s because-”

“Shut up.”

“That’s because I had to step it! I was the one to get you to talk to him!” Sungchan continued with a shit-eating grin, voice picking up volume as he leaned down to get closer to you as if you couldn’t hear him clear enough, pointing to himself like he had won some kind of award. Your already flushed cheeks begin to heat up when you remember the Shotaro incident of 2022. He always brought up Shotaro, and even if it was just to pick on you playfully, it still struck a nerve. You were more shy than Sungchan ever was, always letting him start the conversations or introduce you to new people. Half of your friends are Sungchan’s friends; half of the people you’ve dated are because Sungchan knew them first. Every connection in your life could be traced back to Sungchan, which drove you insane.

“Now, you want to talk all this shit because you got embarrassed I had to step in again and help you get some dick,” Sungchan pressed, his grin turning into a smirk as he nodded at his words, feeling them in his being because they’re true. You stared at him with contempt, teeth grinding as your fists balled up tightly. “You should be thanking me. You’re so ungrateful for everything-”

You lunged at him. You swear you don’t have control of your body when you do it, you just throw your entire weight into his chest and hope for the best. Sungchan let out an “Oof!” sound when you collided with him, staggering back and hitting the ground with you on top of him. You act as if you two are playfully wrestling, but none of your movements have an ounce of playfulness in them. You straddled his hips firmly as you shoved at his hands harshly to get them away from grabbing you. You knew once he got his hands on you, it was over. He’d flip you two over, and it’d be done. You couldn’t let him win this. You couldn’t do it. You had to prove it to him.

You don’t know what it was, but you had to prove it.

You grab his hair tightly, jerking his head off the carpet to distract him, tugging hard on the brown locks. Sungchan lets out a yelp that sounds pathetic. His eyes squeezed shut as his large hands wrapped around your wrist to try and pull you off of him.

“Not fair-” He started. You shake his head, eliciting another yelp from him.

“Shut up. Shut the fuck up,” You spat at him, shaking him again. His face contorted in pain and confusion, groaning softly as he did what you told him for once. You couldn’t believe he actually listened. Truthfully, you didn’t think you’d get this far. You’re not exactly sure what to do next. So, you shake his head again, making him hiss when you tugged harder on his locks. “Can’t fucking stand you, you know that? You’re such a jerk sometimes. Just big, stupid, and taking up space.” You shake his head around with every word, watching him drop his hands and put them up in front of him in faux surrender, but he doesn’t say anything. He only whined and grunted when you pulled on his hair harder than usual.

You waited for him to spit something back at you, to call you a coward, to say you needed him, but nothing but pants left his plush lips. You furrow your brows in confusion at his silence. Sungchan was never quiet. You shake him again.

“Hello? Say something!” You shake his head again, this time back and forth. You won’t lie. It was fun to have him like this. He acted like some kind of puppet that you were the master of, pulling him around in whichever direction you wanted him to go in, and he just took it. Sungchan sighed in defeat, keeping his eyes shut tightly.

“My dick just twitched.” 

Oh.

“Excuse me?” You couldn’t think of anything else to say. Your hands, which had been roughly pulling at Sungchan's hair, suddenly freeze. Your heart pounds in your chest as you gaze down at him, cocking a brow at him. His face is flushed a deep crimson, though whether from embarrassment or something else, you can't tell.

"I said," he starts again, much slower this time, swallowing hard, "My... my dick just twitched."

You blink at his repeated confession, not expecting him to repeat the words. There’s a tension growing between the two of you that you’ve never felt before, making your throat dry as you stare at Sungchan’s embarrassed face, watching his chest rise and fall as he pants beneath you. Flashes of what he’d look like without his shirt flash in your brain, wondering what sounds he’d make as you sink down on him, how his eyes would look, how the muscles would ripple under his––Jesus Christ, get it together, girl. You remind yourself, clearing your throat down at him.

“Like…Seriously?” Sungchan nods at your dry words, opening his eyes slowly to look up at you. A switch in your brain is flipped when you see his big brown eyes. He looks utterly pathetic like this, hair in your hand revealing his forehead, eyes pleading for something silent, and lips in a perfect soft pout. You wanted to take his picture like the actual definition of pitiful.

You chuckle at him, shaking him again and tugging his hair hard to see if it really did anything for him. He whines again, shutting his eyes as his hands lurch towards your hips, holding tightly with a sharp breath through his teeth. You smirk at his reaction, raising your brows in slight shock it was this easy to get him going. Maybe it was the alcohol, you think. You’ve seen Sungchan shove his tongue down girls’ throats just mere minutes after he met them, but this is you. You’re his best friend, his roommate, the girl who beat his ass for talking to her crush for her. You know you’re pretty, and Sungchan is just a man, but you’re still caught off guard by it all.

Your palm still cradled his scalp, thumb lazily tracing small circles at the base of his hairline. Sungchan’s hands on your hips squeeze gently, fingers digging into your flesh just a bit more than necessary and causing a shiver to wind its way up your spine.

Without thinking, you leaned forward and claimed Sungchan's lips in a rough, desperate kiss. His taste was different than any guy you've ever kissed - salty with a hint of beer and lime from the drink he had tonight. You wrapped your hand tightly around the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to you as your other hand found its way under his shirt to feel his warm skin. You didn't let up when he moaned into your mouth, feeling your touch while he tentatively kissed you back. Your anger turned into desperation quickly as you slipped your tongue into his mouth, tasting him fully now. His lips were soft and plush against yours as they parted slightly to let you in further. You moaned the moment your tongues slid together, digging your nails into his toned chest as he pressed in further, sucking softly on the slick muscle in your mouth.

Sungchan's hands moved up your body, gripping your waist and still pulling you closer. The fabric of your shirt scratching against his rough palms made you shiver with anticipation for more contact. You grind down on him out of instinct, feeling the bulge in his pants grow as he groans against your mouth, wanting more from both of you. His scent filled your senses - a mix of sweat and cologne and something uniquely Sungchan that made you want more.

The sound of his rhythmic grunts filled the room, a mix of desire and surprise in every breath he took. His fingers dug into your skin through your shirt, and you moaned into his mouth once more. Your breath hitched when he bit down on your lower lip gently, making you gasp and whimper into the kiss before breaking it, desperate for air. You gasp softly when you part, watching with hazy eyes as he pants as well, lips slick with spit and typically wide eyes heavy with lust.

You tug at his shirt, nodding before he has any time to say something that will kill the mood.

“Take it off.”

And he listens like a dog, pushing himself up and pulling his white T-shirt over his head, tossing it aside before wrapping his arms around your torso and pulling you flush against him. There are no thoughts in your head right now, only Sungchan, touching Sungchan, kissing Sungchan, fucking Sungchan––Holy shit, you were totally going to fuck Sungchan. That hits you harder than you thought it would. You’ve thought about it before. How could you not? He’s beautiful, kind, and built like a God. Of course, you thought about fucking Sungchan. It was nothing like this, however. Typically, you thought of him having your face pressed into the mattress, back arched, and fucking you from behind like he was getting paid. You would’ve never guessed you’d be on top, but it’s not like you can’t get into it for Sungchan. You’d do anything for Sungchan.

"Are you sure?" Sungchan whispers against the skin of your neck, his hands finding your hips again to steady you against him, his bare chest warm and firm. You're taken aback for a moment, not expecting the question. But then you realize that he’s always been considerate, even when he’s on the verge of losing control.

"Yeah," you say firmly, the word slipping out without thought and causing heat to flare in Sungchan's eyes.

Without hesitation, you reach for the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head swiftly. The cool air hits your skin, making goosebumps spread across your chest and arms. Sungchan's eyes widen as he takes you in, his gaze making you feel exposed and powerful. You struggle to pull your jeans off, having to crawl off of him to kick them off in haste. You hate how desperate you look but can’t bring yourself to care. Sungchan rolls on his side when you crawl off of him, lingering towards you like a lost puppy. His eyes watch as more of your skin is revealed to him, letting out a groan when he sees the smooth skin of your thighs.

Before you have the chance to climb back on top of him, he leans in, kissing the side of your thigh with a moan. You let out a gasp in shock but watched him with parted lips, threading your hands through his hair again as he dragged his lips all over the expanse of your thigh, leaving a trail of glistening spit as he did. He grabs your ankle, pulling you towards him roughly, making you fall back onto the carpet with another gasp. You don’t argue for once; you are too invested in what Sungchan will do next, even if you care.

His lips pepper kisses across the inside of your thighs, nipping at the sensitive skin with deep breaths as he inched closer and closer to your core.

He licks his lips as he hooks a long finger in your underwear, pulling them to the side. A moan leaves his lips when he sees your pussy for the first time, looking down at it like he’s looking at a coveted piece of art. You watch him closely, ears turning pink as he lifts two fingers to his lips, licking the tips of them before bringing them down between your legs to rub circles into your clit. His gaze stays on your cunt, watching how the pretty pink flesh moves beneath his fingers, biting his bottom lip when he hears you let out a whine, seeing your thighs tremble at just the slightest touch. Finally, his dark gaze lifts to meet yours.

With his eyes trained on yours, he presses a long finger inside you. A sigh leaves your lips as your eyes flutter shut, gripping the carpet with one hand while the other dug into your side, biting your bottom lip as he pressed another finger inside. You moan this time, feeling your walls begin to stretch for him. You hear him groan quietly, making your eyes open. You’re immediately met with his gaze that never left your face. He looks like he’s in a trance, staring at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. You can’t tell how it makes you feel, but you feel hot, like you’re boiling from the inside out. It aches, but it’s so intoxicating that you want more of it.

You whimper at how his fingers slickly slide out, then back in, watching him get lost in the sight of your reactions. You’re so wet for him. It’s almost embarrassing how wet you got so quickly. You swallow thickly as your chest rises and falls with each pant. His eyes stay on your face as his thumb presses against your clit, rubbing slow circles that make you shiver with a choked-out moan. His free hand cups your jaw, tilting your head back slightly, forcing your lips apart to look deeply into your eyes as he watches you crumble under him.

Feeling emboldened, Sungchan takes his fingers out of you slowly, letting out a long moan when they leave you empty. He lays a line of sweet pecks against your inner thighs, leaving tiny bites and nips on the soft flesh until he reaches the hem of his boxers. With a breathy "Fuck," he tugs them down enough to reveal his hard cock pressing against the fabric. You gulp as it springs from its confines, averting your eyes momentarily before snapping them back up to challenge his gaze. His thick length twitches with anticipation before he guides it towards you, slick with pre-cum leaking from the tip. Your heart stops for a beat before racing wildly in your chest again.

"Wrap your legs around me," Sungchan orders softly, not breaking eye contact even when you hesitate for a second before obeying. He grunts when he feels your folds pressing against his cock, pushing inside without a moment’s hesitation. He slides in so easily, groaning at how smooth the glide inside you is. He sounds as beautiful as he looks, making you moan as well. The way his cock splits your walls apart for him is delicious, to say the least, as a euphoria fills your veins as your walls spasm around him with another moan, this one airier than the one before.

“Fuck,” Sungchan curses, fingers digging into the carpet next to your head as he looks down at where your bodies were connected before back at your face. You two lock eyes again, making your heart hammer in your chest harder than before. Still, you meet his gaze with a quiet whimper, hands wrapping around his strong biceps as you bat your lashes at him.

“Feels good, Sungie?” You ask in a too-sweet voice. You rarely whip out for him unless you ask for a favor, like getting something off the top shelf or making him finish your short answer response questions because you don’t want to. Sungchan would do anything for you, and you’d do anything for Sungchan. He takes a deep breath at your tone, lips curling into a smirk before he bites his bottom lip, nodding.

Then, his hips roll into yours.

Sungchan's thick cock feels even better than you could have ever imagined, stretching you wide and fulfilling you completely. His hips roll into yours slowly, making you moan and whine beneath him with each gentle thrust. The way he fills you up is mind-numbing, his smirk turning into a grimace as he leans down to capture your lips in a rough kiss.

Your walls clamp down on him at the contact, purposely trying to get more friction between the two of you. Sungchan groans against your lips, slipping his hands under your back and lifting you up onto his lap effortlessly. You gasp into his mouth, feeling his hard chest pressed against yours. Your heart pounds in your chest as he starts to fuck you properly now, eyes closing at the sensation that washes over you. You swear you can feel his heartbeat against your chest, but you convince yourself you’re just dreaming it.

You feel every inch of him inside of you, making your walls tighten around him with every snap of his hips into yours. A tiny sob leaves your lips when he hits that spot inside you that has you seeing stars. You dig your nails into the flesh of his shoulders, jaw-dropping and eyes rolling back at how your body moves like a rag doll and at how sharply his hips snap up into you. He groans into your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin before sucking softly to soothe it with his tongue. You can't help but shudder in his lap; this feels so good that it hurts. His hands hold you in place, one on your waist and the other cradling the back of your head as he takes rough control of the kiss again, teeth scraping against soft skin with every thrust. He pants against your lips, moaning your name softly and how good you make him feel. It's all too much for you; all too real with Sungchan, yet so not real. You’re fucking your roommate on your living room floor––You’re fucking your best friend on your living room floor.

Your hands find their way into his hair again, holding onto him tightly as he continues to fuck into you like your his, his lips trailing hot kisses down your neck and over your collarbone. You mewl at the feeling, arching your back into his chest as he hits that sweet spot inside you once more. You could feel the warmth spreading through your veins, making you dizzy with need. The room spins around you as he thrusts harder, faster, deeper into your already aching pussy. His moans mix with yours, their tongues meeting in a messy kiss that speaks volumes about how much you both want this.

Your legs quiver as he takes control of the situation, fingers digging into your skin softly before trailing up to caress your breasts through the thin fabric of your bra. You let out a strangled cry when he pinches at one of your nipples roughly, making you moan into his mouth even more, looking down to watch him work with a breath through your teeth. Your hands' card through the hair on the back of his head, eyes shutting to focus solely on the pleasure coursing through your veins with every drag of Sungchan’s cock against your walls.

"Sun-Sungchan," you whimper. The sound of his name on your lips is like music to his ears. Your body is sweaty and flushed, a beautiful sight for him to feast his eyes upon. He growls lowly when he finally meets your gaze again, heat pooling in your lower belly at the raw desire he displays.

“You’re so fucking good, baby. ‘Should’ve fucked you soon, hm?” Sungchan groans, his voice creased with effort as he continues to pound into you. You can’t help but respond with a needy whimper, skin burning under his touch as you nod your head dumbly. You feel him everywhere, and it's overwhelming - the way he’s stretched you wide open, the way he feels pushing deep inside of you, the way his hands are holding you in place as if afraid that you'll slip away from underneath him.

Your heart beats furiously against your chest, matching rhythm with the throbbing ache between your legs. You're close, too close, but not quite there yet. Sungchan seems to sense your growing desperation, the flash of triumph in his eyes telling you he knows exactly what he's doing to you. He reaches down and begins rubbing slow circles on your clit again, thumb pressing against the sensitive nub just enough to make you cry out in pleasure.

“You gonna cum for me?” He whispers against your throat, teeth dipping into your soft flesh, causing a sharp gasp from your lips. You nod frantically in response, words failing you as white-hot pleasure courses through your veins. He laughs softly - a dark chuckle that sends shivers down your spine.

The way you melt against him is intoxicating. He grunts, unable to think straight as he feels his own orgasm building up. His hips move even faster, his cock sliding in and out of your welcoming heat with each thrust. He groans against your skin, panting heavily as he fucks you like it’s his last dying will, wet sounds filling the room that mixes with your pants and moans. You squeeze your eyes shut at the sounds you’re making, cheeks growing more read because of it. Sex is so embarrassing sometimes.

He pulls away from your neck just a little to look into your eyes, panting heavily as they roll back in pleasure. Sungchan's lips curl into a smirk at seeing how lost you get. Your walls tighten around his cock once again as you cum around him, making Sungchan's eyes roll back into his head and tilt his head back with a melodic groan that has you moaning as well. You feel him tremble beneath you as he finally cums inside of you, making you smirk softly as your hands run up and down his back.

You throw your head back and cry out his name, orgasm hitting you hard and fast like a freight train. He watches as you finally hit your peak, jaw-dropping at how gorgeous you look when you feel good. Your walls clamp down around him, and your muscles spasm in ecstasy; even through the haze of pleasure, you feel every drop of his cum spilling into you, the heat of it searing into your core. Your body convulses and shivers under the onslaught of pleasure, your voice breaking on Sungchan's name. 

Sungchan stays still for a moment longer, his cock still buried deep inside of you. His chest heaves against yours, ragged gasps filling the space between your sated bodies. He blinks slowly, his gaze holding yours captive as he pants out your name. You take his face into his hands with a deep breath, leaning in and kissing his lips without a second though. He moans into the kiss, holding your wrists gently as he does so.

You both stay like that for a while. Bodies joined together in the aftermath of your shared orgasm. The only sounds in the room are your gasping breaths and the rapid beat of your heart pounding in sync. Cautiously, Sungchan pulls out of you gently, making your pussy squeeze around nothing instinctively at the loss, a soft whimper leaving your lips.

He rolls off to one side, pulling you with him so that you're tucked against his side. His arm wraps around you and keeps you close to him, fingers dancing along your sweaty skin lightly. Neither of you speak for long moments, too wrapped up in trying to regain control of your breathing and coming down from your highs even to fathom thinking of words right now.

Eventually, though, Sungchan breaks the silence with a soft whisper, "You okay?"

Your lips twitch into a tired smile against his chest, pressing a small kiss there before nodding. "Yeah," you huff out after a moment, "That was…"

"Crazy," he finishes for you, making you shut your eyes with a laugh, nodding in agreement.

“Yeah…That was crazy,” You whisper, moving your head to rest on his chest to soak up more of his warmth. Your cheek squishes against his chest as you lay there, looking down at his spent cock resting against his thigh. It hits you that you’re both naked and just had sex on your living room floor. This calls for a conversation at the least but you can’t drag yourself to start it, completely spent from what just occurred.

So, instead, you close your eyes.

You’ll deal with it in the morning.

[vbecker10]

Talk to Me (Part 3)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 (in progress)

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: Your mind is racing in too many directions and you have no answers. Are your nightmares are returning? Will Loki pull away now that you saw his Jotun form? Will you ever get the courage to tell him you love him?

Meanwhile, Loki battles with similar concerns. What can he do to ensure you feel safe and keep away your nightmares? How will he explain his Jotun form to you without you thinking he's a monster? Will you ever love him the way he loves you?

Warnings: anxiety, feeling of being alone, fear of running a friendship, Loki being insecure about being a frost giant... soooo much angst I'm sorry lol

A/N: Don't worry, Part 4 is the last part and I'm going to post it a day or so after I post this so you won't have to wait too long 💚

His smile vanishes and he immediately shifts back into his Asgardian form, pulling his fingers free from your other hand. "I'm sorry," he says nervously as he gets up and walks away from you.

"For what?" you ask getting up but he ignores you. "Wait, Loki," you call as he heads towards his bedroom and pauses under the door frame. You walk towards him and say, "Please don't do that. Don't shut me out." You slip your hand into his and he looks at you. "You promised you would talk to me, remember?"

He sighs, "I did promise that, didn't I?"

You nod and try to smile, hoping he will open up to you. You are always worried Loki will retreat behind the walls you've worked so hard to break down.

A small smile tugs at his lips and he says, "I don't know what I did to deserve such a fiercely devoted friend."

You shrug and hold your forced smile as you feel a twinge of pain in your chest when he refers to you simply as his friend.

"We will talk in the morning, I promise," he says as he moves to pull you into a hug. "You need to rest."

You nod and let go of his hand, turning towards the living area. Your heart sinks and you feel a wave of a guilt and concern when you see the state of the couch for the first time. The blanket Loki had given you is in a pile on the floor but you can see several large holes burned into it. The fabric of the cushions are singed far worse than you thought and the wall behind the couch is lightly coated in ash and smoke.

"I didn't realize it was this bad," you say in a stunned voice. You cover your mouth in shock as you realize how close you had come to making your nightmare a reality. Looking at Loki, you lower your hand, "I'm so sorry." You begin the fight to hold back the tears that swiftly push their way to the surface.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," he puts his arms around you, turning you away from the couch. "It is just a piece of furniture," he waves one hand towards the couch. With a light green glow, the blanket vanishes from sight, both the couch and wall return to their previous, un-burnt state. Loki rubs your back in a soothing manner and you lift your head to look up at him. A single tear escapes and he wipes it away before you can hide it from him. "The important thing is that you are okay," he tells you with a caring look.

Loki offers to walk you back to your room and you quickly agree, still feeling the lingering nervousness from your panic attack and nightmare, you are not ready to be alone yet.

As you walk down the hall quietly, his fingers brush against the back of your hand lightly. You want to take his hand but you are unsure how he will react. Would he squeeze your hand as your ever supportive friend then let go as he had done many times before? Would he pull away from you with the forced, polite smile you've seen him use in dozens of interviews? He still seems a bit distant after you had seen his Jotun form, what if he didn't want to be close to you now?

Loki looks down at how closely your hands are and wishes he could reach out for yours. He tries to picture the smile that would light up your face if he was to take your hand and bring it to his lips, kissing your soft skin lightly.

When you reach your door, you pause briefly before opening it.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"I'm afraid to go back to sleep," you admit. "I haven't been in so long but I just... what if it happens again? What if the nightmares are coming back? I don't want to go back to the way it was."

"I'm sure it was just a one time thing. You were over tired from your mission and we both know you have been under a lot of stress lately," Loki tries to reassure you but he can tell it does nothing to ease your fear. He understands better than anyone in the Tower how your nightmares had affected you.

You would stay awake for days at a time when he first met you, fearful that if you closed your eyes for even a second the dreams would return. Loki had helped you discover that your nightmares were triggered by your anxiety, stress and exhaustion. Unfortunately, this meant the more tired or worried you were, the more likely it would be that your sleep would be interrupted.

"Last time they started it was just like this," you tell him. You begin to fear that you were wrong to think your issues sleeping were truly behind you.

Loki is quiet for a moment, one of his hands settles on your lower back gently and he moves it up and down slowly while he thinks. "Would you feel more comfortable if I stayed?" he offers for the first time since your nightmares subsided months ago.

"Yes," you answer without thinking. "I mean... if you don't mind, I know my couch isn't really that great. You're way too tall for it," you hold back a smile remembering the last time Loki feel asleep there, his long legs hanging off the end of what was more of a love seat than a couch.

Loki takes a step towards you, his fingers touching your chin to gently raise your eyes to meet his, "Have you ever known me to offer to do something if i didn't want to do it?"

"No," you smile, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks at how close he is standing to you. You hope he doesn't notice but the way his eyes flicker to your cheeks you know he did.

You open your door and he takes your hand as if it was the most natural thing he has ever done. It is hard to focus on anything other than the feeling of his thumb running slowly along your knuckles. You follow him into your apartment without another word.

You tell him you will find him an extra pillow but as soon as the words leave your lips he smirks and you remember who you are talking to. "Don't worry, I've got them," he responds as he conjures a pillow and blanket to place on the couch.

"Right," you smile awkwardly. You wait a moment but when he sits on the couch you realize he isn't planning on giving you a hug before you leave him for the night. You always need just one more hug but you can't bring yourself to ask for one right now.

"Sleep well, Y/N," he tells you.

"Goodnight Loki," you lift your hand to give him a small wave before disappearing into your room.

You lay on your bed and pull the sheets tightly around yourself but you couldn't feel any more awake. The second you close your eyes, your heart races as the faded memories of your nightmare flash across your mind. You open them quickly and look up at the bare ceiling with a groan. You try to push aside your fear that the nightmares are returning, hoping that Loki is right.

Loki... your thoughts stray to the God curled up in your living room. Why had he been so upset when you saw his Jotun form? That's who he truly is, isn't it? He shouldn't be ashamed of that or try to hide it from everyone, you think. But even if he doesn't want the whole world to see him, that shouldn't include you, should it? You weren't just anyone, you were his friend, his best friend. The person he had promised to share everything with. Maybe you aren't as close as you think, maybe that is a part of himself he will never share with you. Or maybe he is waiting to share it with someone he loves and trusts but that person isn't you, you think as you roll over, clinging to your pillow.

Loki conjures a book and lays on your couch with one arm behind his head. He is comfortable enough with his legs bent to fit better on the small piece of furniture but he feels as if something is missing. He realizes he is missing how it felt to have his arms around you, he hadn't hugged you goodnight as he typically would and it left a hollow feeling in his chest. He didn't want to add any more fuel to your already fearful mind and he is unsure how you will truly feel about his Jotun form once you are more rested and able to absorb what you saw.

He closes his book and places it on your coffee table, knowing he will be unable to focus on reading tonight. He is too angry with himself for slipping and revealing his Jotun form. Loki wants nothing more than to have you feel comfortable with him, how could have risked everything like that? How could he have been so stupid and reckless? You were at your most vulnerable and you needed him but he turned into a monster, he scolds himself. What if the sight of him had scared you? You could have hurt yourself with your powers and he knows he would never have been able to forgive himself for that.

He looks up, his attention pulled towards the sound of your bedroom door opening. Sitting up, Loki asks, "Are you okay?"

You shrug and put your arms around yourself. You aren't sure how to explain to Loki how lonely and anxious you feel.

"Do you want to sit out here with me for a bit?" he asks, patting the cushion next to him invitingly.

You nod and sit next to him, he moves the blanket to cover both of your laps and he puts his arm around your shoulders. Instantly, you feel some of the tension begin to leave your body as you relax a bit. "I know I need to sleep but I just can't," you tell him. "It's like my mind won't shut off. I feel bad keeping you awake like this, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he tells you sincerely. "You stayed awake with me plenty of times when we were working through my nightmares. You are the only reason I am able to sleep now," he reminds you. "What kind of friend would I be if I didn't do the same for you?"

"Thank you Loki," you look up at him with a small, forced smile.

"That is not all that is wrong though, is it?" he asks but you shake your head. "I know you Y/N," he touches your cheek. "I know there is something aren't saying."

You look down, fidgeting with your fingers, you can't help but hate and love how well he knows you. You know you need to tell him something or he will keep asking what is wrong. How are you supposed to tell him your smile faltered because you dislike being reminded that you are nothing more than his friend?

"I was wondering..." you pause as your mind tries to work quickly, "Since neither of us are going to sleep any time soon, maybe we could have that talk now? About what happened with your Jotun form?"

His body tenses and you worry you have made a mistake. Maybe you should have tried to lie about something else or just gone back to your room. After a long stretch of silence he finally nods.

"I never meant for you to see me that way, ever," he says as he shakes his head. Loki shifts, leaving an empty space between you both on the couch. It is only a few inches but it feels like he is miles away. "I wasn't thinking," he continues. "When I saw you surrounded by the flames I knew I needed to help you, to make sure you were safe and the fire was out but I hadn't intended to let... that out." He flinches when he refers to his Jotun form.

"I guess maybe I just don't understand why you want to keep that part of you locked away," you move closer to him.

"The Jotun are monsters, Y/N," he states. "I'm a monster. My father- Odin," he quickly corrects himself, "Made that perfectly clear to Thor and me when we were growing up. He used to tell us stories about them, the same way humans tell their children ghost stories. Jotuns are too be feared and hated and I never wanted you to know that side of me. I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"I admit, I don't know the first thing about Jotuns," you reach for his hand. "But I know you." He looks at you, his eyes are full of pain. "I have never been afraid of you Loki, you know that. Even the first time we met... when you kinda threw me through a wall," you try to joke.

"I have apologized for that," he says defensively.

"I know, I was kidding," you try to explain but you obviously missed the mark. You sigh, "Loki, listen to me. You are not a monster, I don't care what that ass Odin said when you were a kid. You are the most caring person I have ever met. No one has ever treated me this kindly or has put so much effort into trying to understand me."

He smiles as you talk and you can see in his eyes he believes you. "I have met monsters, Loki," you remind him. "We both have fought them on our missions and you are nothing like them. You care too deeply to ever become anything like them."

You put your arms around him and rest your head against his chest. He hugs you back and quietly says, "Thank you, Y/N."

Loki closes his eyes, feeling himself relax for the first time since your nightmare. He takes a deep breath, fighting the urge to tilt your head up so he can press his lips to yours. He wants to be closer to you but instead he places a soft kiss on the top of your head. He cannot risk your friendship, especially not in this moment so he settles for any affection he can as you hug him tighter, your body pressed so perfectly against his.

"You are without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me and I do know what I would do without you in my life," he says, meaning every word.

You smile, knowing how much Loki appreciates you and you feel guilty wishing for more. You want him to say that he loves you, that he wants you in his life as more than his friend but he doesn't and he won't. You push down the torn feelings you have and tell him, "I will always be here for you."

"And I will always be here for you, Y/N," he responds. His body aches to shift forward and seal your promises with a kiss but he still doesn't move.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence he says, "You need to get some rest. You've had a long night."

"We both have," your agree but you still aren't sure you will be able to sleep. You get up from the couch and walk back towards your room but you stop after only a few steps. You turn to look back at Loki and tell him, "I don't want to be alone."

"I'm here," he promises as he sits on your couch.

You bite your lip, holding back the words you want to say. You want to ask him to hold you while you sleep. He had made you feel so protected and safe after your panic attack and you need to feel like that again.

He gets up from the couch and walks towards you when you don't say anything in response. "Would you feel better if I slept in your room tonight?" he asks and you hear a hint of nervousness in his voice, not something you are used to with Loki.

The answer leaves your mouth before you even realize it, "Yes."

You take Loki's hand and lead him into your room. Pulling back the covers you make eye contact with him and realize he looks almost as anxious as you feel. You lay on your side near the edge of the bed, facing away from Loki quietly as he gets in on the other side.

Loki's heart skips a beat with nervous excitement, he truthfully hadn't thought you would accept his offer. As much as he wants to hold you all night he is worried about what will happen after. He fears this will be the only time you allow him into your bed and he knows it will not be enough for him. One night spent near you could never be enough but he will savor every second.

An empty space forms between you and Loki for a few moments then you feel the mattress dip as he rolls over towards you. Without thinking, you shift closer to him and your breath catches when you feel his chest flush to your back. He drapes his arm over you, pulling you flush to his body.

"Is this okay?" he asks quietly in your ear, he hopes you can't feel how quickly his heart is beating.

"It's perfect," you smile, keeping your eyes closed tight, trying to etch this feeling into your mind. You lay completely still, feeling the way his legs tangle with yours loosely, feeling his chest rise and fall as he breaths slowly, your hand covers his which rests lightly on your stomach. You could stay cuddled in his arms forever but you know it won't last. Come morning, he will release you and you will return to sleeping alone.

"Can I ask you something?" you say a few minutes later in a low voice.

"You can ask me anything," he promises.

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

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[s0akie]

I won't ever forgive Johnny Sims for the decisions that he made for episodes 161 and 162. It was genius and absolutely gut wrenching.

Back in the first few seasons, when we first started listening to the podcast, we were not that invested in the characters yet- Tim, Sasha and Martin only started appearing on tape midway through season one. They all had little tid bits here and there, and both Martin and Sasha had what- A single episode or two dedicated to them?

So, losing Sasha back then was not as devastating as it could have been. We did not know her as a person. We did not get the time to be attached to the characters yet. Her death's purpose, for us, was to cement the actual horror of the podcast, the fact that a person believed to be part of the main cast had simply died, in a situation she could not have prevented- Her death set the stakes, as well as introduced the Not!Them properly to us.

By the time we lost Tim, we only remembered him as a bitter and angry man. We had spent the majority of the show with a Tim that had fallen into a deep, deep depression, and that version of Tim is the version we knew. Once again, his cheery attitude was only there during season 1 and the few times we'd hear him in season 2, and even then the bitterness had started to settle.

Now, as we listened to the first two episodes of season 5, bracing for the worst, bracing for the apocalypse and the screams of terror and yells and arguments, we instead get hit with Jon's Birthday tape from before the show even started. We listen as we get to hear Sasha and Tim again at the same time Jon does, we then get insights on how they were as people, how happy they used to be, their goals, their ambitions, their relationship and friendship and how it could have grown, and we mourn them.

Now that we are fully invested into the show, we are forced to go through the grief we had managed to avoid the first time around. We are forced to mourn Sasha, to wish she had stuck around, to wish we had more time to simply know her.

We are forced to mourn Tim, his pre-depression self, we wish it could have gone differently, that he had appeared on tape just a little more.

It's just that, a gut-punch, a "Hah, you thought you were safe four seasons ago? Back when you first lost Sasha? Well fuck you, cry now. Realize. Bitch."

God I love this show

[anxious-witch]

Okay, absolutely not a diss at the original post about Edwin's attraction to men being treated as punishment because all the men that have feelings for him hurt him and Charles, who he loves not feeling the same. It's a valid analysis and I absolutely see what op meant but but I wanted to expand on it in a more hopeful way, because I do feel like the show is, at it's core, a hopeful one, but I also didn't wanna like. Derail the post with this in a reblog so here is a separate one.

Yes, Simon sacrified him to a demon, the Cat King trapped him and consequently left him vulnerable to danger there and Monty betrayed him, but have they not also helped him face who he is? Regardless of if you think of them as villians or not, they showed him things he wanted. If Edwin left Port Townsend as soon as they were done with the case, he would have remained more or less unchanged, but would that truly have left him better off?

Moreso, Edwin changed them. Cat King realized at the end that he cannot keep Edwin unless Edwin wants to stay. That loneliness is not cured by forcing one to stay by your side, but rather by sharing a companionship. Monty realized that even if Edwin did not love him the same way, he cared for him and if circumstances were different, their friendship could have blossomed into something else too. He showed Monty that he can have thoughts and feelings outside of Esther. Hell, even if the Cat King didn't show up, it seemed like Monty was going to give up his plan to betray Edwin. Because he loved him, in the best way he knew how, in that moment. Simon by forgiving him, and letting him finally accept himself so he can move on, and Edwin realized being gay doesn't have to be a punishment. He said so himself. That the one thing that keeps them in hell, in true hell is them thinking it's a punishment.

And Charles? Charles who went to Hell for Edwin, who defied the story so ancient and powerful and got Edwin out of Hell? No matter if they end up as endgame or not, have they not already proven this is not a tragedy? This is not a punishment? If he didn't love Edwin, he would have never turned back, but he did. If it was a punishment, Edwin would have been taken again. But instead, they got out and they stayed together.

What I am trying to say is, yes, there is pain and there is hurt, but which relationship doesn't have that? Who didn't have a friend, a lover, a parent, hurt them in one way or another? That doesn't mean there was no love there, simply that that love needs more adjusting. And they all changed and began adjusting to fit a new situations and relationships they found themselves in. And I feel like, if this was a straight story, it would be exactly that.

Yes, Edwin still has a long way to go and I sincerely hope he gets his happy ending, whichever love interest he ends up choosing, but I don't think even know, this is the story of someone being tortured for being queer. It's a story of a bunch of people learning how to be who they truly are, and making mistakes all the while. But that's okay. Because they grow from it. And isn't that beautiful, in it's own way?

Simon, the bully who actually fancies the MC, Cat King, an older, more experienced guy who sees something special in the MC for the first time, Monty, the first, sweet romance that everyone wants but that doesn't end the way you expected. And of course, the best friend that has been "the one" this whol time. Those are all pretty common romance trope. We just rarely see them all together, and with some tweaking, but I'd say they make them more hopeful because that.

That's why I don't see "Love is a punishment for not having been strong enough to remain alone." as true for this particular media. Because it isn't-it's a learning experience that changes you. Perhaps not always pleasant, but we all must grow. Not even ghosts can stay unchanged.

[csbnova]

adore you ft. chigiri hyoma

tags: fluff, high school au, f. reader

notes: wc. 1.6K, supes cute imo, little reo cameo

synopsis: newfound crush is getting closer with you after a silly little question, what could possibly happen a few days after?

being sat next to chigiri hyoma is not for the weak. he’s always mumbling some snarky remark and somehow it’s always funny. to make matters worse he’s fine as hell. like—infuriatingly fine. what kind of dude has perfectly radiant skin? such cute lips? even that luscious hair of his?? it just doesn’t make sense.

it doesn’t help that now the two of you are friends. it started when he heard you giggle from him whispering about one of your classmates bad luck and he was absolutely enamored. not that you noticed though. you were too busy studying his silly smile when he realized he’d been heard.

for months your friendship had progressed, and you’d realized he was much more than a pretty face. he was kind, yet sarcastic. observant, yet oblivious. charming, yet absolutely horrid at flirting. and he was someone you’d grown to like.

…like a lot.

“hey, hyoma? do you think it’s weird for a girl to confess to a guy?”

it had been quiet. your head was on his lap while his fingers danced across your scalp, decorating your hair in pretty little flowers that complimented your skin very nicely. your fingers had been aggressively moving across the screen of your phone as you played a game despite your mind being elsewhere.

“how would that be weird? i think if a guy doesn’t like it then he’s a wimp and shouldn’t have a girlfriend in the first place.”

he’s raised his eyebrow and he’s still focused on your hair as the background fighting music for some stupid mobile game quietly plays from your phone. As you pause it, you sit up, putting your phone on the floor as you looked at him with curious eyes and a hint of blush resting on your cheeks.

“so, if a girl you liked confessed to you, would you mind?”

“you really think that matters? Y/n, you should know by now i don’t care for stuff like that. why are you even asking?”

there’s that stupidly adorable head tilt he does. his hand reaches to fix a flower that moved out of place but then he comfortingly pats your head instead.

with a sigh, your hands move back to grab your phone as you lay your head in his lap once more. “it’s nothing, just got curious. if you said no i would’ve eaten your shampoo or something.”

nearly a week has passed since you asked chigiri the confession question and nearly a week has passed since he’s been clingier than usual. he’s letting you(more like forcing you to) touch his hair more often than usual, he’s leaning on you more, and overall just by your side for as long as he can be.

“y/n, do you think you can come watch me practice today?” his heads resting on your shoulder and he’s watching as you gather material for your house in minecraft. currently, it’s the last period of the day but the teachers gone and the subs giving you guys a free day since there wasn’t any work given to him to hand out.

“hmm, yeah i’ll come today. any particular reason why you want me there?” your phones almost dead by now but since chigiri’s head was on your shoulder the motivation to move had been lost a long time ago. you press save and quit on your screen and then turn off your phone, placing it down before a hand of yours moves to ruffle chigiri’s hair. he doesn’t try to move, but instead smiles a little as his face warms. hyoma wasn’t the type to be very physical with anyone until he met you. to him, your touch was like a kiss of fire. it was comforting, yet it burned a little too good. and he didn’t even care he just wanted more of it.

“can’t i want to show off my skills a little?”

and there it is. that cute little eye roll he does. paired with the sarcastic smile? and the way he’s gazing up at you through his eyebrows? it’s a known fact that chigiri was a really pretty guy but my goodness there were no words to describe how much you adored the way he looked at you. or the way he made you giggle. which was what was happening right now. you were giggling and he was beginning to giggle too—just from the sound of your lavish laughter. the air surrounding the two of you was so endearing it’d made some of your classmates smile in adoration and others slump down at the feeling of loneliness.

“right, right, not like you show off during your games like alll the time.”

he sits up, with a shake of his head and adjusts his position, placing his elbow on the desk and a palm to his head. so he could look at you better.

“well, i am an egoist, it’s natural for me to show off, especially when you’re watching me.”

he looks so smug but in reality he’s actually so nervous and wondering why he said that but also what would you say? would you get mad? get shy? would you avoid eye contact? would you hit him? what would go through your mind? he wants to know.

well. you smiled. chuckled a bit and rolled your eyes. it didn’t take much for him to see the pink skittering across your cheeks and his entire world lit up right then and there. he opened his mouth to say something else but before he could, the bell rang, cutting him off and signaling that it was time for practice.

as the two of you walked, there was a comfortable silence. that warm bubble of air was still circulating the two of you—wrapping your cheeks in a rosy kiss, and his in the same. his hand had brushed against yours a few times but he made no comment on it, afraid of your reaction. you’d felt the same. conflicted with your feelings. you didn’t want to possibly lose his friendship, but the thought of becoming his lover just sound so wonderful. so as the two of you had reached the field, you sucked in a breath and grabbed his wrist. it was a light touch, your grip was loose, but to chigiri it felt like a phoenix had gripped onto him and commanded him to stop. it felt exhilarating and calming all at the same time. he bit back a smile and your eyes met once again.

“hyoma i- well uh…okay hold on gimme a sec.”

your heart was racing and at this point he could probably hear it too. that is, if his wasn’t racing just as fast and loud as yours. he nodded and watched you take a deep breath. this whole time he’d been quietly staring at you, hoping that what you’d asked last week was pertaining to you—that this was that moment you spoke of.

“um okay. you think- you think we can go out sometime? like not as a hangout like usual but as a date. i really, really like you, hyoma. a lot. and i don’t think i can handle being just friends anymore.”

there’s no tension in the air when you talk despite your nervousness, and he’s still smiling warmly—even starting to blush more than he already was. his eyes are enamored with the way you look asking him out and before he even knows it his hands are interlocked with yours and he’s nodding his head like a fool in love.

“how could i ever say no to you?”

that’s all he says before you let out a breath and a small laugh, giving a shake of your head. the relief hits you in a huge wave and you look back up at him with a vibrant smile decorating your lips.

“so, then, you wouldn’t mind a date after practice ends?”

your eyes are bright and your voice is sweetly soft as you speak, your fingers playing with his own.

“i mean, it’s not like i have to be here…”

he’s smiling. and he’s giddy inside but he’s also cool so he’s acting like he set this whole thing up (he didn’t, he was nervous as shit). the fingers yours had danced with suddenly hold yours still and pulled you closer to him. your faces are radiating with warmth and he’s speaking so softly it could lull you to sleep.

“we could go on that date right now if you want to..”

you can feel his breath caressing your lips—and even the way his nose has scrunched up a little in joy as it was brushed up against yours. he moves away a little to watches your reaction lovingly and you can see him physically melting. you’d begun to nod your head before a voice from behind chigiri splits that romantic air of yours in half and replaces it with a cold breeze in between you two.

“can’t skip if you’re already here man.”

chigiri sighs with an eye roll as he turns to the voice of his teammate, simultaneously pulling you in his arms.

“well, technically i haven’t stepped foot onto the pitch yet, reo, so am i really here? and besides, you let nagi skip all the time. give me a break this once.”

reo, albeit amused by the scene, huffs at chigiri’s comment and rolls his eyes right back. (such sassy men we have..)

“alright, alright, but you better hurry up and go before coach gets here.”

chigiri nods and says goodbye to his teammate, watching as you waved as well and the two of you leave the school grounds, that precious warmth surrounding the both of you once again.

“so, reo, was it? he the team captain or something?”

“we really gonna talk about other men on our first date?”

“what, you jealous already?”

“no…”

you guys…i actually love how this one turned out especially since it was my first actual fic

i feel like the confession part wasn’t as good as it could be tho 💔

not proofread at all 💀 don’t mind any writing mistakes 😞

[biolumien]

keep you safe

reno ichikawa x gn!reader existing, established relationship. a bit of described gore, but its all kaiju guts word count: 1841

you and reno ichikawa were like night and day. reno had always been a bit reserved, and you’d been his bright counterpart, the extrovert that had adopted him as the two of you became fast friends. he’d opened up to you slowly, bit by bit, and the two of you were usually inseparable.

on your end, at least, friendship turned to admiration, something like adoration. you liked touching his face sometimes, brushing your knuckles across his hand and watching him flush a bit, turn away from you with a mumbled excuse on his lips. eventually, he’d dared to be a bit bolder, intertwine his fingers with yours, lean into touches with a soft, shy smile across his face.

“i want to become a defense force officer,” he’d said shyly, to you. he spun the straw of his drink around, not looking at you.

“oh?” you’d asked, leaning on the railing of the small apartment you lived in. “isn’t that dangerous work?”

“well, yeah,” reno murmured. “but i want to do it. i’ve wanted it for forever. to be out there protecting the people i love.”

he’d smiled at you, then, and you laughed.

“are you confessing to me, reno?”

reno’s violet eyes met yours, and you realized there was largely sincerity behind those eyes—you say largely, because he also seemed nervous—hesitant. almost worried.

“… yeah,” reno said. he fell silent for a moment. “i—i just wanted to, because—well, you know. i could-i could die, out there… and i think i would’ve beaten myself up if i got into a situation and realized that my one regret was not telling you how i feel. because that can so easily be changed if i—just… yeah, since i just told—”

you leaned up close to kiss the words out of his mouth, and he startled a little bit, his hand shifting, not sure where to put it, but you clasped his hand soon after, and you smiled into the kiss, realizing how sweaty his palms were—he must have gotten in his head about the confession, but you were so happy he’d gotten over the hurdle and just—said it, put it out in the open.

“i love you too, silly,” you responded against his lips. “i’m not gonna stop you from becoming a defense force officer if that’s what you want… but…” you raised your arms up, wrapping them around his neck, resting your forehead against his. his breath was shuddering, warm against your lips. “don’t forget me when you make it big, okay?”

reno laughed.

“of course not. how could i forget you?”

you spent days sitting alongside him as he studied for the entrance exams, watched as he applied for the cleanup crew job in preparation for the second phase of the exam.

his face was alight with determination that you couldn’t help but admire—reno had always been quiet, kind of forlorn. you’d tried your best to bring him out of his shell—and he always seemed to, around you, but now there was something different. a burning desire to become stronger? to chase after a tangible, difference-making dream? whatever it was, you wanted it to pull through.

“you’re okay, right? i heard that kaiju no. 8 attacked the hospital you were staying in,” you murmured. you stared out the window, at the faintest eruption of smoke in the distance. “and there was a honju attack, too—one after the other… are you really okay?”

“yea,” reno sounded a little sleepy from his side of the phone. he’d texted you that he’d ended up in the hospital on his first day of work—a yoju had attacked his coworker, and in an adrenaline-infused rush, he’d ran up to protect him, and both of them had barely gotten away with their lives, or so it seemed. “i’m okay. don’t worry about me.”

“but i do,” you replied. “all the time, you know that.”

“i know.” you heard the rustling of sheets. “if you don’t want me to—”

“no. no, you should. i want you to,” you replied. “don’t let my worry stop you from doing this. you helped your coworker, right? i’m sure you were super cool. i’d love to see you in your uniform.”

reno sounded flustered for a moment on his side of the phone, before he shifted again.

“today’s just been crazy,” he said. “but i really want to protect people. it just feels like—like it’s what i’m supposed to do. i guess it sounds kind of—embarrassing, now that i’ve said it, like i believe in fate or something, but—”

“i don’t think it’s embarrassing at all,” you said fiercely, squeezing a pillow on your bed close to your chest. “you’re super cool, reno. i’m happy my boyfriend’s the coolest guy around.” the last sentences are teasing, and you hear reno make another strangled sound.

“come on, you’re flattering me,” reno sounded muffled, as if he’d shoved his head into his sheets. “i’m not that cool. you could’ve done so much better than—someone like me, who got super reckless and thought he-he could take a yoju down with a street sign.”

“that sounds like literally the coolest thing ever, reno,” you replied.

you fell silent for a moment, adjusting your phone.

“i wish you were here,” you admitted after a moment. “i want a hug.”

“you know i’d be there if i could,” reno replied, sounding hesitantly shy. “once i get discharged?”

“sure,” you replied, the smile clear in your voice. “i’m looking forward to it.”

you wonder who’s going to save you now.

a large honju, its bulging eyes fixating on the fact that you’re horribly alone and isolated, the rubble collapsing around you making it impossible to run away and hide—but even if you could hide, there’s too much open space. you’d sprained your leg trying to run away the first time, before you’d underestimated just how fast this damn thing could fucking run.

it had pushed you into this corner, practically—toying with you as you realized far too late that you’d been completely backed into an area you couldn’t escape, about to become this honju’s next meal—though maybe that was inaccurate. you doubted you could even be a meal at all—just a tiny, insignificant snack on this monster’s rampage.

you wished fervently that you were stronger. maybe if you were a defense officer, too—but could you really kid yourself, thinking something like that? you rose up on shaking legs, trying desperately to control your breathing. you weren’t going to die. you couldn’t die. that would break reno’s heart, wouldn’t it? you didn’t want to break reno’s heart, you didn’t. you didn’t want to imagine a future where reno’s face would screw up with pain—a future where he might shed tears over you. he didn’t deserve that.

you remembered, desperately, for a moment, that they’d sent out the third division to deal with the current kaiju threat. surely that meant—no.

it’s not like civilian casualties weren’t common. you shudder to think of the possibility that you’d end up as another statistic—but you shuddered, terrified of the possibility that reno would find your lifeless body. you wanted to be alive to hug him, to press your head into the crook of his neck as he held the back of your head, just desperately glad that you were alive. you wanted some kind of happy ending—not death from some fucking honju.

the honju’s gigantic hand reached out for you, and you braced yourself for the worst, squeezing your eyes shut—

the resounding bang that rang through the air made your ears ring, and you felt something wet hit your face—as you opened your eyes, you touched your face, pulling it away to find your hand stained with blood—but not your own.

the honju shrieks, doubling back—and you realize with belated horror that its hand had been completely blown off, viscera scattering across rubble. the sight of the gore makes you collapse, practically, as your knees gave out.

“i’m sorry i’m late,” a familiar voice says, and you blink hard as—

“reno,” you say, almost dazedly.

he looked—good, in any case, dressed in the defense force suits you’d seen on television once in awhile when you’d watch a bit of the televised kaiju war effort. he pulled down his respirator mask for a second, giving you a small smile.

“you’re okay,” reno says, before turning back to the honju with deadly focus. “cover your ears as best you can, alright?”

you did as he asked, upon which several more loud bangs rang out, each rattling your very core, your ears ringing with the impact. the honju shrieked as each bullet punctured it, until it eventually gave out and collapsed against the ground, its shriek a death knell that almost made you want to curl up into a ball on instinct to hide from it—you were shaking, horrified at the sounds, the sight of the gore—the fact that it even stained your face.

reno lowers his gun.

“command, come in,” he says, his hand tapping his in-ear receiver. “i’ve killed the honju in this sector. recovered a civilian as well. i’ll oversee transport to the nearest medical facility. thank you.” he lowers his hand, kneeling down to wipe the blood from your face.

“reno,” you say weakly. “you saved me.” your shaking breaths turn to sobs as you press your face against his chest, your shoulders shaking. the surface of his suit is hot, almost burning, but you don’t care as your fingers barely dig into its surface. “i’m—i’m so—i was so scared—”

“i know,” reno says, hoisting you up with ease. you remember that he used to struggle to do that—not that he couldn’t lift you up, just that there was always more effort involved. he coaxes your legs to wrap around his waist, his hand coming up to stroke the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. “i know. i—i’m sorry. i should’ve—i could’ve come sooner, i knew we were being dispatched to-to the site, and—”

“it’s okay,” you cling to reno as your lifeline, pressing your cheek to his. “i’m just—i’m just—i’m so happy you came.”

reno looks at you, his violet eyes brimming with tears as he presses his forehead to yours, a shaking breath leaving his lips.

“i’ll always protect you, okay?” he says, his voice choking up. “i’ve got the strength to do it now—to protect the people i love. to protect you.”

you toy with the hair at the nape of his neck, kissing the tip of his nose.

“i know,” you say, quiet fondness creeping into your voice, despite everything. “i love you, reno.”

“i love you too,” reno says, and you’re flustered for a moment by how sure he sounds—he always used to hide away behind his hand when he said it, shy and unsure of himself. but the way he looks at you, with pure dedication and determination—your heart flutters again, and you laugh.

“kiss me, please,” you say, and reno kisses you so softly, and you melt into it, safe in his embrace.

[kinardscoffee]

I agree with you on how it looks like tim likes to continue writing buck/tommy and that the GA reaction to that relationship is being reflected in lou staying, the promotion on and in how kenny, jlh etc. have been talking about it. but even more I think that ryan really does not want to do the romantic buddie thing (that does not mean he is homophobic). I got the impression in the last weeks that tim would have a really hard time getting ryan on board with it even if tim wanted to do it (which i don´t believe at this point). I also think that buddie shippers low key fear this to be true because they know ryan being against makes buddie practically impossible

Yeah, I mean, ultimately, it is Ryan's choice. They can't force him to play a gay character, but if they pushed, even after he said he wasn't interested, he would most likely just leave the show for "creative differences."

But I don't see that happening. Ryan has really been emphasizing in interviews how important this role has been for him. So, if Ryan isn't interested in a certain direction for Eddie, I think it's safe to say that Tim will just go another way with it.

Ryan is also really happy showing a male friendship full of vulnerability onscreen. It's important to see this dynamic because a lot of people think you can't be a "real man" and show emotions. Which is a load of bullshit.

Two men having chemistry and being open with one another doesn't mean their relationship is secretly rooted in sexual desire. And I think the more people realize that, the better things might be.

[luminouslywriting]

Hey! Novalis here again with another Winters request lol. This time it's based on that scene in Captain America: The First Avenger (one of my favorite films of all time) where we meet Peggy and she's confidently speaking with this guy who's making fun of her before she decks him in the face. Could we have something based on that where maybe one of the guys messes with the reader like that and ends up punching the guy in the face -> also pairing reader and Winters somehow in this request? Thanks!

Iconic of you to request this!! I would be HAPPY and thrilled to do this for you :) Reminder that my requests are open and I don't mind spam haha!

More under the cut, cut for length, slight sexual harassment/intimidation (not from Winters) mentioned, medical jargon and speak mentioned as well:

-Listen, I've said it once and I'll say it again, Dick Winters is a man who drinks his respect women juice

-So when the head doctor is introducing herself during the training and preparation for D-Day, you tend to listen to her because her instructions could mean the difference between life and death

-For Dick Winters, he's an attentive man who has already struck up a friendship and correspondence with you. And maybe, just maybe, if things go well, he'd like to ask if he can write you and if he can take you out sometime.

-But for right now, he's dutifully staying within the respectful bounds of a workplace relationship and no fraternization

-So there he is, standing at attention and listening to your instructions about how best to tie a tourniquet if there are no medics around (which is really quite useful, especially if something goes wrong with the jumps)

-And someone dares to question what a woman would even know about medical needs

-And he goes on and on about how women aren't meant to serve their country in the same way and how they need to be at home waiting to make babies or be filled up by some man

-So naturally Dick Winters is fuming about the entire thing and flabbergasted at this man's audacity

-And just when he's about to say something, you step up to the bat, ask the man's name, rank, etc.

-Once you have the information, you gracefully punch him in the nose and there's a very satisfying crunch of things. And the thing is?? You're a doctor. You know exactly how much force is needed to break a bone and how much is needed to set it back in place

-So there are the medics, bustling around because WTF??? And you just have them re-set his nose right then and there

-In that moment, Dick Winters has never been more in love in his life and he's got those googly/starry eyes that has Nixon looking at him like he's a freakin' simp or something

-The man is howling all sorts of things

-And you're just, "I outrank you. What are you gonna do? Court martial me? After all of that harassment? I don't think so, buddy."

-Dick Winters decides on the spot that he wants to marry you

-So yes, after the whole training is over, he does in fact, go for it and ask you out :) He also commends the punch and gives a kiss to the forming bruise on your knuckle

-We stan a supportive husband lol

[tevanbegins]

Some musings for Pride Month 🌈:

Know how straight people are not attracted to every single person of the opposite gender and can have meaningful platonic connections with them, without any romantic or sexual intent? Likewise...

• Bisexual people are not attracted to every single person they see or breathe around. Bisexual people can have close platonic bonds with people of any gender, without it having any secret romantic or sexual intent.

• Gays/Lesbians are not attracted to every single person of their own gender. Gays/Lesbians can have close platonic bonds with people of the same gender, without it having any secret romantic or sexual intent.

So when you take a healthy platonic friendship between a canon queer character and their straight best friend (who hasn't even secretly questioned themselves about their sexuality on screen in any episode for them to be considered a closet case) and celebrate it as an example for Pride Month, as opposed to actual canon queer characters and romances, it doesn't seem cool or respectful to the LGBTQ+ community.

I'm not at all saying we should only celebrate the queers who are out and proud. Closeted queers are also very valid in their queerness and their struggles are understandable. But when you have never seen someone even start to question their preferences, I don't get how fair it is to assume and officially declare that they are queer. Guessing or wondering about someone's sexuality is fine, but declaring it on someone's behalf is not. Just like it is wrong to make heteronormative assumptions about anyone, it is also wrong to force someone out of a closet they might not even be in just because you think you know who someone is.

Let people tell their own stories, whatever they are. That is what Pride is about. Finding your true self, in your own time, on your own terms. No one else's.

Again, people can believe whatever they want, because the things we see on television are ultimately fictional. But using some fanon TV ship as an example worthy of being celebrated for Pride — a real-life event that holds so much significance for a community that has been endlessly fighting for their rights — is frankly disrespectful.

Just wanted to say my piece, whether anyone agrees or not. Happy Pride Month once again, I wish everyone lots of love, joy, and peace! 🏳‍🌈❤

[starborn15]

- One of my SJM pet Peeves -

I was recently listening to ACOSF on my walk today because ya know; I don’t always enjoy music and it was there.

“We are doing this because we care about you Nesta.”

Now, I’m not one to be all “books need to represent reality!” Because they don’t they’re books. Especially fantasy or science fiction, they sometimes have aspects of our world but they’re not of it, or a distorted version of it.

So if we are trying to say Chapters 1 & 2 of ACOSF was an intervention; it was. At its base

It was a planned meeting, unknown to Nesta until the day, they provided her with examples of her destructive behavior, the goal they had, and what would happen if she did not comply.

What was not successful: Elain not being present, they did not discuss their concern for Nesta only really belittled her behavior, having Rhysand there (someone Nesta knows does not like her which is not helpful.)

- The story itself: Cassian’s internal monologue is empathetic towards Nesta to a degree…but it is littered with fear of her. Fear that she will attack Feyre, fear that she will lash out. Fear that he will have to defend Feyre against her, that he “didn’t know” if she was capable of such a thing.

- Amren: Initially Amren being there makes sense, they were friends and Amren could have expressed concern for Nesta. Now when it comes to “addiction” is it important to highlight how these individuals can burn bridges? Sure I suppose. Although you could’ve have Amren be invited but refused to come, which would’ve been equally as impactful. (Especially when you find out Amren told Nesta on the barge she had been a waste of life or something to that effect when Nesta expressed insecurity in their friendship.) 😬

- Feyre: Honestly, Feyre handled this the best if you look at an intervention the way it’s supposed to be handled, she laid out the plan. Expressed concern for her, discussed the issues with her financially and emotionally.

- Cassian was silent, aside from “it’s not some moral failing.” Which is also…..cmon SJM really?

My main thing is yes, Nesta is a bitch. She is, she always has been. This wasn’t new in ACOFAS or ACOSF, so why all of a sudden was it a problem? Why all of a sudden was Cassian cold? Not wanting to speak his mind? Or be open?

Cause ✨tension✨

But….

- Cassian can slaughter an entire village of people when he found out his mother was unalived.

- Cassian Rhys and Azriel can do….lord knows what to Azriel’s brothers.

- Feyre can destabilize an entire court.

- Mor can kill her parents whenever she wants to (has free rein).

- but Nesta…who was kidnapped; gagged and bound and dragged and thrown into the cauldron that she described as “tearing her in two” and turned Fae against her will, watched that same king m*rder her father, and now she’s burdened with power she doesn’t understand. She can’t drink and f*ck and do what she wants? Cut her off, stop giving her money.

I don’t know, I don’t like the use of this trauma as a moral short coming for a forced proximity plot point.

[estapa-edwards]

Trevor Zegras with a hairstylist reader whom is his best friend & has the biggest crush on him, he doesn’t know tho. Z always goes to the hair saloon whenever he gets dumped and gets his hair washed to relive stress & ranting about how he somehow can’t keep a relationship, but reader know Z will only go back into a relationship a few days later (full on angst, you can decide if reader & Z will be a couple or not). Thank you, love you!!

KEEP - T. ZEGRAS

paring: Trevor Zegras x reader

word count: 1.6k

requested? yes

warnings: use of y/n.

*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*

Trevor Zegras, affectionately called Z by those closest to him, trudged into the small, warmly lit salon. His usually confident stride was subdued, shoulders slightly hunched, and his face was a mask of frustration and sadness. He glanced around the familiar space, taking in the comforting scent of hair products and the soft hum of conversations blending with the background music.

Y/N, his best friend and hairstylist, looked up from her station. Her heart sank at the sight of him. she had seen this scene play out too many times. Trevor was here for his routine post-breakup hair wash, a ritual that had become all too familiar over the years. Y/N had been harboring a secret crush on him for as long as she could remember, but  Trevor seemed oblivious, always lost in his own world of fleeting relationships.

"Hey, Z," Y/N greeted softly, trying to mask the concern in her voice. "Another rough one?"

Trevor sighed, running a hand through his tousled hair. "Yeah, you could say that. Mind if I get the usual? I need to clear my head."

Y/N nodded, motioning for him to take a seat at the shampoo station. As Trevor settled into the chair, Y/N prepared the water, making sure it was just the right temperature. She poured a generous amount of shampoo into her hands and began to massage it into his scalp.

Trevor closed his eyes, a look of relief washing over his face. "I don't get it, Y/N. Why can't I keep a relationship? What's wrong with me?"

Y/N's heart ached at the vulnerability in his voice. She had heard these questions before, each time feeling a pang of sympathy mixed with frustration. "There's nothing wrong with you, Z. Sometimes things just don't work out. It's not always about you."

Trevor huffed, his eyes still closed. "Maybe. But it feels like I'm the common denominator. Every time, it's the same story. I think it's going great, and then bam, it's over."

Y/N continued to work the shampoo through his hair, her fingers moving in soothing circles. "Maybe you're just picking the wrong people. Or maybe you're not ready for something serious yet."

Trevor opened his eyes, looking up at Y/N with a mix of confusion and curiosity. "What do you mean?"

Y/N hesitated, unsure if she should delve deeper. "I just mean that maybe you're not looking for the right things in a relationship. Or maybe you're not being yourself fully. Sometimes it takes time to figure out what you really want."

Trevor sighed again, leaning back into the chair. "Maybe you're right. I just... I don't know. It feels like I'm always chasing something that slips through my fingers."

Y/N's heart pounded in her chest. She wanted to tell him how she felt, how she had always been there for him, how she had seen him at his best and worst, and still cared for him deeply. But fear held them back. Fear of ruining their friendship, fear of rejection, fear of breaking the fragile balance they had maintained for so long.

Instead, she kept her thoughts to themselves, focusing on washing away his stress with each stroke. "You deserve to be happy, Z. And you'll find someone who sees you for who you really are. Just don't lose hope."

Trevor smiled faintly, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. "Thanks, Y/N. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Y/N's heart fluttered at his words, but she forced themselves to remain calm. "That's what friends are for, right?"

--- --- --- 

The days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Each time Trevor found himself single again, he would return to the salon, seeking solace in the routine that had become his anchor. And each time, Y/N was there, listening, comforting, and silently yearning for him to see them in a different light.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, Trevor walked into the salon, a familiar look of dejection on his face. Y/N's heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. This time felt different, though. There was a deeper sadness in his eyes, a weariness that hadn't been there before.

"Hey, Y/N," he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey, Z," Y/N replied, her voice gentle. "Rough day?"

Trevor nodded, sinking into the chair at the shampoo station. "Yeah. Really rough."

Y/N began her familiar routine, her fingers moving through his hair with practiced ease. As she worked, Trevor began to talk, his voice a mix of frustration and sadness. "I thought this one was different, Y/N. I really did. But she said I was too distant, too focused on other things. She didn't think I was serious about us."

Y/N's heart ached at his words. She wanted to scream that she saw him, that she understood him in ways no one else did. But instead, she kept her voice steady. "Maybe she wasn't the right one for you, Z. Maybe she didn't see all the amazing things about you."

Trevor sighed, leaning back into the chair. "Maybe. But it just feels like I'm never enough. Like I'm always missing something."

Y/N's hands stilled for a moment before resuming her gentle motions. She took a deep breath, gathering her courage. "Z, have you ever thought that maybe you're looking for the wrong things? Maybe what you need isn't out there, but right in front of you?"

Trevor opened his eyes, looking up at Y/N with a mixture of confusion and curiosity. "What do you mean?"

Y/N's heart pounded in her chest. This was it. The moment she had been dreading and hoping for. "I mean that maybe you've been overlooking something, or someone, who cares about you more than anyone else ever could."

Trevor's eyes widened slightly, realization slowly dawning on him. "Y/N, are you saying...?"

Y/N nodded, her hands trembling slightly. "I've been your best friend for years, Z. I've seen you at your best and worst, and I've always cared about you. More than just a friend."

Trevor stared at them, his mind racing. "I... I never realized. I always thought you were just being a good friend."

Y/N smiled sadly. "I was. But it was always more than that for me. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to ruin what we have. But I can't keep pretending that I'm okay with just being your friend."

Trevor sat up, turning to face Y/N fully. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Y/N shrugged, tears welling up in her eyes. "I was scared. Scared that you wouldn't feel the same way, scared that I'd lose you. But I can't keep hiding how I feel."

Trevor reached out, taking Y/N's hand in his. "Y/N, I don't know what to say. This is a lot to take in."

Y/N nodded, squeezing his hand gently. "I know. And I don't expect you to have all the answers right now. I just needed you to know how I feel."

Trevor looked into Y/N's eyes, a myriad of emotions playing across his face. "I need time to process this, Y/N. But I promise, I won't let this ruin our friendship. You're too important to me."

Y/N smiled through her tears, relief flooding her chest. "That's all I can ask for, Z."

--- --- --- 

The days that followed were a whirlwind of emotions for both of them. Trevor found himself thinking about Y/N constantly, replaying their conversations in his mind. He had always known that Y/N was special, but he had never considered the possibility of something more between them.

As time passed, he began to see Y/N in a new light. He noticed the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed, the way she always seemed to know exactly what to say to make him feel better, the way she cared for him with a depth that he had never experienced before.

One evening, as the sun set, Trevor found himself standing outside the salon, his heart pounding in his chest. He took a deep breath, gathered his courage, and walked inside. Y/N was there, as always, working on a client's hair. she looked up and smiled when she saw him, but there was a hint of uncertainty in her eyes.

"Hey, Z," Y/N greeted, her voice tentative.

"Hey, Y/N," Trevor replied, his voice steady. "Can we talk? After you're done?"

Y/N nodded, her heart racing. "Of course. Just give me a few minutes."

Once the client had left and the salon was empty, Trevor approached Y/N, his heart pounding in his chest. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, Y/N. About what you said."

Y/N's breath caught in her throat. "And?"

Trevor  took a deep breath, reaching out to take Y/N's hand in his. "And I've realized that you're right. I've been looking for something that was right in front of me all along. You."

Y/N's eyes widened, hope and disbelief mingling in her gaze. "Z, are you saying...?"

Trevor nodded, his grip on her hand tightening. "I'm saying that I care about you, Y/N. More than just a friend. I don't know what the future holds, but I want to see where this can go. With you."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she looked into Trevor's earnest gaze. "I've wanted to hear those words for so long, Z. I care about you too. More than anything."

Trevor smiled, pulling them into a tight embrace. "Then let's take this one step at a time. Together."

[writerpetals]

Group: (g)i-dle

Member: Yuqi

Song : Good luck, babe!

Artist: Chappell Roan

ive never heard this song before so i hope i did it justice! i really like it, so thanks for the rec! haha (this is a tad bit angsty but it all comes together in the end lol)

You never expected to see her here. Honestly, you never expected to see her again. A flame that once burned so bright years ago for your best friend died in just as many years. So to see her walk through the door of the club you bartend at threatens the safe you were forced to lock that flame inside. The memories of almost kisses and words left unsaid flood your mind. You can’t even move until a co-worker rushes past you with drinks in her hand, bumping your shoulder to bring you back to reality.

It doesn’t take long for her to find you. Her eyes lock on your own as she sits at a table close by with her new friends. It’s almost as if you see the light leave her eyes once she realizes it’s you. She’s far away from the town you both grew up in. Maybe she thought she would always be safe from running into you. 

However, your assumptions are shot down as she makes her way to the bar, heading straight for you. Nervously, she tucks a few strands of hair behind her ear before taking a seat at the bar. It’s a habit she’s always had, so it’s no surprise as her eyes fall to her lap, suddenly losing the courage to look at you. 

“Hi there, stranger.” You’re the first to speak, having to yell over the music to make sure she heard you. You’ve never been afraid of conflict or awkward situations. And after growing apart from your best friend after so long, you aren’t sure why she’s sitting in front of you at your bar, but your heart is racing to find out.

“I thought I would find you here,” she says, a hesitant smile on her lips. 

“You were looking for me?” you ask, trying to seem more nonchalant at her response than you are. You begin to wipe down glasses in front of you to prepare them for filling with alcohol, but you’re keyed into her every word. 

“I’ve… been thinking about you…” She tries to explain, but the music is too loud, too many people are being rambunctious around her, and someone spills a drink at the bar two seats down. She’s beginning to lose the confidence she came in here with, so you pull her back in before you can lose her once again. 

“Come with me,” is all you say with a nod of your head toward a door to the side of the bar. 

Quickly, she gets up to follow you to the back of the club, exiting into a hallway where the bass still vibrates off the walls, but you can hear a little better. You take a glance behind you to make sure she’s still there as you step into a supply closet for more privacy. 

The dim lighting shines above the two of you, getting a closer look at her when neon lights aren’t flashing. She’s just as beautiful as she is in your dreams. God, you’ve missed her. Even if the two of you drifted apart and went your separate ways in life, there’s no denying that flame is still ignited inside of you with burning red embers. You’ve missed her like crazy. 

There’s no doubt about it. Not even just because your heart grew too big for what either of you were ready for, but you miss her friendship. Her laughter. Her kindness and her care. They way you would watch stupid moves together and dance along to the silliest songs. You’ve just missed her, and you still do.

“So… how’s what’s his face doing?” There’s a bitterness to your tone. You don’t try to hide it. 

“What’s his face? You mean my husband?” She laughs with hesitation, then her voice lowers. “My... ex-husband, I mean.” 

Your heart skips a beat. “What… happened?” You tell yourself to breathe. You should be relieved, but your heart aches. Was she hurt? Did it end on bad terms? Is she okay? Years apart will never change wanting her to be okay. 

“I just…” She shrugs, looking down at the concrete floor beneath you. “I don’t know. I woke up one day and realized that life wasn’t for me. It’s not who I am, and I shouldn’t have tried to change for anyone.”

You bite your lip, mind racing. You want to be mad at her for never reaching out, but you’re angry at yourself for never checking in on her. Who made her feel like she had to change? The social butterfly with the most bubbly personality and cutest laugh was not good enough for someone? 

“I’ll kill them,” you say, narrowing your eyes, but your tone is now playful. She giggles at the words, and it’s a sound you’ve been dying to hear for so long. “Are you… alright?”

“I don’t want that.” She shakes her head. “I’m okay, though.”

“What do you want?” you question. There’s still a matter of why she is here, now. 

She bites her bottom lip, taking a moment before she can meet your eyes again. “I really just want to dance with my best friend again. And… after so long, I really just hope she wants to dance with me, too.” 

Hearing her words, there’s no use trying to keep that flame locked away. It’s hot and bright, burning for a love you lost once and refuse to let it get away again. You don’t think twice about reaching for her, grabbing her by the waist to pull her in. She goes with ease, allowing you to guide the two of you to a comfortable rhythm of your bodies moving in sync. 

“There’s not a day that went by that I didn’t think of you,” she admits, her voice a soft whisper inches from your lips. “After all this time, you’re still the only one on my mind. I knew it couldn’t be guilt from walking away from you. My mind just wasn’t ready to listen to my heart.”

Her confession has tension coiling behind your eyes. You don’t want to cry. This moment of being reunited is too perfect, but you can’t help when the first tear hits your cheek. So many years of longing, of wondering where it went wrong, of wishing to change the past and now she’s here, right in front of you. 

As you dance with her, she leans in to press her lips to your cheek, kissing right where the tears are falling. 

“Are you listening to your heart now?” you ask her, holding her tighter, pulling her body closer.

She smiles as she reaches to brush away any remaining tears on your face, ignoring her own that begin to well behind her lids. “I’m listening to my heart.” She leans in ever so slowly to press her lips to your own. The softness of her kiss takes you by surprise, never having believed this moment would come true. “And my heart says it wants you and only you.”

[choicesficwriterscreations]

June MC of the Month: Eva Archer

Please welcome June 2024's MC of the Month: @dutifullynuttywitch's Eva Archer

Each month, we highlight one MC or OC on our Meet My MC / OC List. They are selected randomly on the Wheel of Names, and eligibility requirements can be found here. We accept MC / OC profiles on an ongoing basis. Please feel free to send yours in!

Learn more about Eva below

1- In your own words, tell us what you like most about your MC / OC.

She’s an idealist, preoccupied by social justice. While at the Tower, she constantly fought the authoritarian leaders, which resulted in her and her sister needing to flee so she wouldn't ‘get disappeared’. Now that she’s leading her own colony, she is still trying to find the right balance, ensuring everyone’s voice is heard and feels welcomed.

2- Do you feel your MC / OC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

I think we both lean towards social justice and fairness in our decision-making. And I definitely gave her some of my musical tastes! (Though I have more grunge and alternative in my repertoire.)

But other than that, Eva is much cooler than I could ever hope to be!! 🙂 She’s a fighter, brave, willing to put her life on the line for others.

3- What is most important to your MC / OC? What is their motivation in life?

Eva is not the bravest, but she is fiercely loyal to her friends. Being forced to leave her fatally injured sister Brynn, her only family, behind after narrowly escaping The Tower was the hardest thing she’d ever done. It left her deeply scarred. She refuses to lose anyone else she's close to and will put her own life on the line if she can save her friends or members of her colony.

Her friendship and frequent quests with Eli and Angel help her gradually feel more confident in her fighting skills. As a leader of the newly established Olympus Colony, she speaks up against injustices and tries to be conciliatory. What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes?

She despises cruel, self-centered people. Unfortunately there are too many in her post-apocalyptic world, who will do anything, kill anyone just to survive a day longer.

While she generally loves Troy’s easy-going attitude, she absolutely loses her temper when he shirks on his chores - which he unfortunately does regularly.

4- If your MC / OC could change one thing - anything - what would it be?

She would find a cure for the parasite that converts people into zombies. She’s in no way a scientist, but she wholeheartedly supports her best friend Shannon Fox in her ongoing investigations.

5- What is your MC / OC’s favorite quote or song?

Wild Horses, The Rolling Stones.

It’s a bittersweet reaction, really, having lost both of her fathers in a horrible way (one became a zombie and killed his husband), and more recently her sister. She holds on dearly to the lyrics that “wild horses couldn’t keep me away”. It’s how she feels about Troy, and her friends Eli, Shannon, Angel, little May…

Her favorite quote is more inspirational: “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.” – Emily Dickinson

6- Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC / OC?

I adored the Choices book Wake the Dead. Such an interesting, dark concept, where your choices matter, with tons of potential for world-building… I wanted to create a character that had lived through terrible things, resulting in deep-seated trauma, but at the same time could see the light in the world and continue to strive to better her life and that of those around her. This is how Eva was born!

7- Other facts about Eva

Eva was born close to Reno, Nevada before the zombie apocalypse.

She previously worked in pest control from the age of 18, then became a scout at 25 at her former colony, The Tower.

Eva is dating Troy Hassan, her childhood best friend from her Tower days. This was a slow burn, friendship to love. Troy’s an absolute charmer, knows her better than anyone and is her emotional support. He’s much more carefree, which brings out her lighter side – necessary with all the stress and pressures of running a colony during an apocalypse!

She dearly misses her sister Brynn, who died shortly after escaping the tower. Eva admired her fierceness and how she bravely ventured out as a scout every day to support the colony. Eva hopes to become as tough as her sister.

Thank you so much for reading through my MC profile, I had a blast sharing Eva Archer with you!! And thank you @choicesficwriterscreation for giving us the space to gush about our fictional babies!!

[mxtxfanatic]

sometimes i do find the state of the mxtx protag's post canon social lives funny like.

shen qingqiu has:

one (1) liu qingge (he's one of the only peak lords i'd actually call shen qingqiu's friend)

one (1) shang qinghua (possibly, i think they could have a pretty good post canon friendship but as of the books i think they're more allies out of necessity)

one (1) set of qing jing peak disciples

that's it.

wei wuxian has:

one (1) wen ning

one (1) flock of extremely devoted juniors

one (1) sect leader nie huaisang (possibly. unlikely but they could)

one (1) set of mianmian and her husband (possibly)

that's it.

xie lian has:

The Entirety Of The Cast Likes/Respects Him On At Least Some Level Sans Like Three People One Of Which Is Qi Rong Who Doesn't Count.

i mean!! the one you wouldn't expect to succeed the most in this area has the most friends out of all of them!! lmao and it's not necessarily wei wuxian's fault given the whole over-a-decade-long propaganda campaign against him but still... no excuses for shen qingqiu though lmfao. i do like to laugh about it

I would 100% expect Xie Lian to be well-liked, cause other than his circumstances, he is very charming and people who do not know him like him. Same for Wei Wuxian: people who do not know of him and his reputation love him upon interacting with him. The only downside to his social life is that no named character his age outside of his husband, Mianmian, and Wen Ning is worthy of his respect, let alone friendship, so why would he take the time to get to know them? While both Wei Wuxian and Xie Lian are charming characters, neither of them seem to want to maintain a large circle of friends.

But Shen Qingqiu??? Idk what you’re on about with him, everybody in Cang Qiong Mountain Sect—except for the Bai Zhan Peak disciples, maybe— loves him! His fellow peak lords are constantly complaining about how he never visits enough because he’s on his forever honeymoon. They find out he’s come back to his peak and they gather at his house to force their way in. I feel like he’s also not one to care about having a large circle of friends, but his martial siblings sure as hell won’t let that stand!

[ayvayenildi]

Snupin First Wizarding War Headcanon I Cannot Stop Thinking About

Just imagine Remus Lupin being a spy for the Order of Phoenix during the First Wizarding War and infiltrating the werewolfs that serve Voldemort as just another desperate one except he encounters Severus Snape, who very obviously knows who Remus is and how loyal he is to his friends. Surely, Remus is afraid that Snape will denounce him in a matter of seconds but instead he offers a deal: he will turn a blind eye on Remus' presence if Remus tells him how Lily is doing or, at least, whether she's still alive. This Snape is not yet a spy but he isn't very devoted to Voldemort's cause either plus he still cares about Lily above all else and knowing nothing about her drives him mad.

Remus doesn't like the idea but he doesn't really see a way out so he starts feeding Severus pieces of information. Slowly but steadily they grow closer and begin to cover each other's asses (Remus needs quite a lot of ass covering as he still tries not to hurt anyone and that makes other werewolves and Death Eaters suspicious). What started as a forced alliance becomes a real friendship as they are both in a desperate need of someone close; that's the time where some people in the Order start suspecting that Remus is a double-agent and is actually working for Voldemort — the Marauders seem to canonically think so as well, at least that's why (according to Sirius in the third book) they didn't tell Remus about Peter as the Secret-Keeper.

Imagine Remus and Severus growing so close over time that one morning after getting way too drunk for all the worst reasons they do actually wake up in the same bed. Imagine them both embarrassed as hell (Remus still has this big fat unrequited longing for Sirius and Severus is in a sort of situationship with Lucius), and they try to act as if it didn't happen except they both can't and keep coming back for more. Imagine them just finding some comfort in each other's embrace amidst what they both (wrongly) consider to be the worst time in their lives. That little thing they have quickly grows out of control.So, when Lily dies, and Snape desperately needs to blame someone for what had happened (he already blames himself but that’s simply not enough to calm the pain), the only person he can think of is Remus. It's Remus who distracted him and made him lose control. If it wasn't for Remus, he might have been able to save her.

Well... at least that's how I explain why Remus in the third book stubbornly calls Snape by his first name, thank you for coming to my TedTalk, bye!!

[arabian-batboy]

If I had a nickel for every time DC put Damian in a forced superficial friendship with a newly-created character that was the child of one of DC’s Trinity in order for them to ride his coattail to popularity I'd have two nickels.

Which isn't a lot, but...