#thats all folks *never posts art again*

[enginator2000]

infinites 141-149. the end of an era

part 1 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13 part 14

[deedala]

✨WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY✨

thanks to @jrooc for the game this week and for tagging me + @creepkinginc @energievie @lingy910y @suzy-queued 💖

Hello beautiful kittens! 🐈‍⬛ Today’s tag game is about our wonderful fandom 😍

How did you get into the fandom? 

after falling deep into the shameless hellspiral i took to tumblr (as is my usual) to find gifs and memes and everything was so good and everyone was so wonderful i couldnt help but wedge my way into the community lmao

How long have you been here?

i started lurking september of 2022 and my first shameless post was in october of 2022 🥰

What’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?)

yeah tumblr i guess! my first instinct is always to search tumblr tags for a new thing i like 😌

what’s your favourite now? 

tumblr and discord equally, theyre both non-negotiable

Which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom?

@michellemisfit my beloved <3 ran into her in the @shamelesscreatorsnetwork discord (the first discord link i found) and we started talking and never shutted the fuck up ever again even until today lmao 🥰

Which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and want to get to know?

okay so since the first thing i seek out on a new interest is GIFS (and also shameless + text posts that shit absolutely sends me), the first people i followed and was so drawn to their immaculate vibes and gorgeous work were @gardenerian @heymacy and @sickness-health-all-that-shit biting you biting you biting you!!! 💖💖💖

First Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)

so michelle had me read redheaded step-children and it was so gorgeous and wonderful i was completely knocked on my ass by that one <3

and then i got the itch to read an AU and started with intro to quantum dating by @spoonfulstar and unless you're new here you are surely aware of how much i love that one 😂

First Fan art that blew your mind? 

i feel awful because i really cannot remember (crine) but pretty sure it was probably some gorgeous intricate @steorie painting

Fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love?

SPORTS AU - and now ive fully fucking lost my mind (@heymacy @too-schoolforcool know how deep it runs and i cannot even talk about it or i will throw up lmao)

What surprised you most about this fandom?

since my last significant foray into a fandom community was a pretty big fandom, there were looots of people who were just out for fucking blood. this community here on tumblr for shameless is a goddamn pillowfort, the vast majority of people are so sweet and supportive and happy to mind their own business it's such a fuckin breath of fresh air.

Moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich?

i dont know if i can pinpoint just one moment? but probably one of the big moments early on since thats what would have kept me ravenous to keep consuming more lol

Ian or Mickey?

the fuck??? AAAAHHHHHHHHH uuhhhhh uuhmmmm omg. fuck. uh... okay...just... Mickey? no... Ian? uuhhhhmmm what was the question?

Which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? 

im gonna go with Debbie here <3

and now to tag some more folks in (in addition to everyone tagged above!!) if you want to play! if not, consider this me sending you cleansing brainwaves 🧠

@darlingian @heymrspatel @crossmydna @mybrainismelted @mmmichyyy @wehangout @metalheadmickey @gallawitchxx @thepupperino @blue-disco-lights @the-rat-wins @loftec @mickeysgaymom @rereadanon @callivich @lee-ow @palepinkgoat @gallapiech @transmickey @iansw0rld @captainjowl @howlinchickhowl @vintagelacerosette @sam-loves-seb @burninface @spookygingerr @mikhailoisbaby @themarchg1rl @whatwouldmickeydo @sleepyheadgallavich @sleepyfacetoughguy @samantitheos

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[vaudeville-moggie]

16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. (For the tmnt ask thing)

KELP THATS TOO MANY NUMBERS LEE

16.) Rise version of Casey, and her son are the coolest I think but I love them all they're my babies... The one from the 90s films is the hottest tho WHO SAID THAT

17.) I love 1987 shredder he's so sillies dad of two <3

18.) my favourite villain... Hmmmm 2003 had some really well-written villains I think? Baxter Stockman is one of my favs all-round maybe because he's abused a lot and he isn't really able to dig himself out of that... He gets really fucked up in 2003 but he kind of has a redemption in the future? Unfortunately 2003 didn't really explore that and I think it was more put in for laughs...

19.) my fav ally is probably Casey Jones or timothy (not including April because she's more like a main character, idk) or!! Carter, who appears in 1987 and then never again. I miss him 🥺

20.) theme song... I love them all... Rise's is objectionably the best but damn 2003 had some damn good bangers. I could listen to "back to the sewer" on repeat forever.

21.) favourite story arc? Like... Idk, one that appears a lot is the farmhouse arc (or country arc or rural arc whatever) that first appeared in the 90s movie (although it was probably in the comic first) and Leo or Raph is injured, and one sits by the other while they heal... It's a very soft moment for the brothers because they're usually fighting... If Rise gets renewed I'd love to see this arc again.

22.) I wasnt really a pizza eater before TMNT, it's not a big thing in Australia compared to NYC. I LOVE margherita!! Basil and tomato and boom, ya got yourself a pizza. I'll eat any pizza except any pizza with that horrid ham. Or anchovies. (Who does, wtf)

23.) fav TMNT fic dude idk I should read more... Uh tangledinink's teenage mutant what now?

Lots of TMNT fic recs on my side blog pinned post :3

27.) something I love to see in TMNT art/fics? Tails!! Hehe they deserve tails :3 also any references to sci-fi because that's very TMNT coded, it has a long history of star trek references

28.) what is one thing I'd like to see explored more in art/fics? uhmmm idk 🧍‍♂️as long as people are having fun idc... Maybe villain redemption? Like they did that in rise with draxum canonly so...

29.) what is one headcanon that I have? Uhmmm trans Leo I mean, always... Always.

30.) idk of any common headcanons that I reject... Every headcanon I've seen I've gone like, yeah, I can see that. Might not fully incorporate it into my headcanons but I've never blocked a headcanon or cringed at anything...

31.) one piece of TMNT canon that I dislike/ignore? Say it with me folks: Donnie's crush on April

32.) uhmm idk lol I think I got into it with rise so my first thing would be the thing I just redrew here the original being here

33.) my favourite thing I've made??? idk. I really like the pokemon au I haven't posted about at all and this!!:

only piece of my art on mah wall

34.) what character do i draw/write most often? it might... be mikey? idk... i think I draw them all evenly but i'd predict if you went through an actually counted out of the things I've posted, it would maybe be mikey.

35.) which character relationships are my fav to write/draw? idk I really like how mikey interracts with his brothers and sister(s) which is something I've found I enjoy playing with in my magic au... but I'm literally always drawing rise leo and yuichi usagi together in my tmnt sketchbook so

36.) which character I have the hardest time writing/drawing? Rise Raph for BOTH... sigh, I think I'm definitely better at drawing him than I was, but I've got a lot of practise to do. and in terms of writing, hes a very multi-faceted character and while he's the big brother and he has to responsible, he's also a kid and he can be silly and fun too...

37.) I write/draw multiple iterations of tmnt, but so far I've kind of only posted rise and 2012 drawings so...?

38.) Do you generally stick close to canon, or diverge from it?

my first instinct when writing fics is to make it canon-compliant... but I've made Aus too, so, both?

39.) Do you have any TMNT OCs?

ya, Jim (general tmnt sona or oc, and was my fursona for a bit) and this bat yokai oc I've only drawn like once, her name was ghost I think. I've also made an Usagi character for magic au 2012 leo... spoilers teehee

40.) Do you give the turtles tails? YES OFC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! unless I forget teehee

YAY!! happy 40 years TMNT!!!!

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Midnight Gaming: Long Live Eggbug

So last night I played Atari 50th anniversary collection, checked socials later to find.... cohost will shut down by the end of the year... aww..

So Atari is a company thats been around for a long while in the gaming industry, all the way back in the 70's with pong and asteroids, leading to the atari 2600 or vcs as it was called and finally leading to thier last console, the atari jaguar which flopped hard. It was a console that was advertised as a true 64 bit console even though it was really just 2 custom 32 bit processors, making it difficult to make games that run well, in the same decade that has the playstation and the nintendo 64. Yeah, "do the math".

Never really got to experience much of Atari when they were a contender in the scene, heck I wasn't even a year old when the Jaguar was launched so it wasn't really a part of gaming that I had a hands on experience with but I have heard of them. In my general interest in all things gaming in my youth, Atari was brought up sometimes in some gaming mags and online media, AVGN is probably for many people how they heard about Atari as he covered some games on the 2600, even did an episode on the failed 5200 and the Jaguar consoles.

So Digital Eclipse (not to be confused with digital extremes, the warframe folks) has done a 50th anniversary collection that has various games from atari's history, including some unreleased games. Naturally since these games can be easily emulated, a collection of old games wouldnt mean much but theres more to this than just that. You also get a bunch supplemental material such as artwork, behind the scenes documents and videos of interviews with several employees and key figures in atari's history, talking about various things. Cliffy B is there too for some reason.

For me its damn fascinating to follow along a timeline of events, looking at various media and playing some games, getting a feel on Atari's journey over the years. You do learn a few things about the company and how it ran at the time and uhhh.. it certanly looks a bit familiar. Developers having to work overtime, upper management ignoring concerns from thier employees, games being marketed beyond what could actually be delivered leading to consumer backlash, employees losing their jobs in mass. Yeah those problems are still around nowadays huh. 50 years later and nobody has really learnt anything, still making the same mistakes that one time led to the most infamous market crashes in history. Funny thing tho, while the games market did indeed crash in 83, leading to several businesses going bankrupt, for the average 2600 player it was just an odd time in which new 2600 games werent made. Because the 2600 had such a massive install base, eventually new 2600 games got made again, even during the time when the Sega Master System and the Nintendo Entertainment System were leading the console scene. To quote one Garry Kitchen "No one told consumers that there had been a crash. No one went to their house and said "You don't like video games anymore"".

Digital Eclipse also did some other games in the documentary style, the art of karateka and llamasoft. I wouldn't mind checking those out as I feel a documentary that covers a particular subject sounds fascinating to put the lenses of an interactive game, though I suppose it does veer a bit close to "edutainment" territory.

So now with that done, lets move onto the.... news. Cohost is announced to be closing down at the end of year with it converting to a read only format in October. I genuinly enjoyed my time on cohost even if it was short. From looking for alternatives to Tumblr, I stumbled onto it and found a chill sort of site that I felt comfortable browsing, chatting with peeps and sharing posts. It was a site that had an independent vibe that was unique and humble compared to some of its contemporaries. Tumblr weared the mask of being queer friendly despite nuking the odd trans blog every now and then, twitter is a cesspit run by that nepobaby bastard, discord seems to have issues with power tripping mods and creeps. A lot of social media seems to either be.full of techbro crypto ai weirdos or algorithmic data-harvesting software or both! But cohost had the vision of a place that didnt had user-unfriendly practices, instead of just making a site that demands engagement from the user for the sake of profit, the team made the site comfortable to browse and post on, letting people build up communities to hang out and chill in. Sadly that ambition wasnt sustainable due to the issues with both work and finance and in the end, it'll all be shut down.

I'll still be posting Midnight Gaming on Cohost until October as well as on tumblr until I find another site to host this series. Maybe I'll try that dreamwidth place I heard about, maybe i'll actually make a neocities site. We'll see what the future holds.

Until then, Rest in Piece Cohost. Hug your local eggbug today.... oh yeah james earl jones passed away too... awful lot of death lately, an old friend on my fathers side recently lost thier wife too. September what the hell you doing?

Hey whatever happened to those prizes that were won during the Swordquest contest?

Thats all for today, see you tomorrow. Feel free to leave any game suggestions or feedbacks. Anons are currently on.

[tamorisana]

remember mermaid ramblings?

now listen to this. (as always credit goes to art from @mizushibart ) this is the continuation of this post but you dont need to read it for context

sirens was what took over my mind. siren rudy to be precise.

look. sirens and mermaids, in my culture are looked as someone who was unhappy with their life and took it but i think that while it does happen merfolks are a different species. and have their own culture traditions and etc. sirens feed on love, not human body. eating the human is.. a desert??? a treat??? they could but its not necesserity. and thats what is happening here. rudy and alejandro meet as young folks (maybe ale' is a nonhuman too) and totally fall for each other, both human and non-human but while its all wonderful there is fear n no trust. ale fears him bc of stereotypes, rudy fears him bc he never saw anything like that.

again, they are young and its first time siren is out of water and learns about all the sounds and how to walk and talk because he could only chip, click and make a little prrrr and just generally learns about this new world--holy fuck is what is that?!? why is it blue!?

also sirens dont sing. its a stereotype made up by stupid humans, if siren wants it can make sound close to humming but practically their vocal cords dont have the ability to speak but they over come the problems! i promise they do! ale feeds rudy his love in the end and rudy... there is a thing right. siren tears are extremely... good way of healing both for humans and non-humans

and while alejandro basically begs rodolfo not to use them on him, rudy still does that. because without ale and his love siren will wither and die. so if he had to use his powers (very draining and dangerous. could kill him) to save him he will

i need to explain a bit more

while siren is well fed (with love or blood) they are able to maintain the colour. and colour basically shows how nicely fed they are (you understand me). if they scream and use their tears in short time without any type of "snack" it can easily drain it and kill

@tavtarnish :i love this. would ale be able to see rudy fading and becoming less colorful? (writing from memory)

oh totally. rudy isnt always shining but yk what. he would even refuse to eat from alejandro since he already gave so much but generally i dont think he really dries himself out on his abilities

also take in count that rodolfo has like zero chances surviving fires. it drains him out.

now take a look at this. house fire and hassan. ale saves him and instead of medic takes him to nearby river because rudy, his rudy, is so weak, so faded basically gray, so limp in his grasp it physically pains him to look at him.

they get to river and ale feeds him, loves him, kisses him underwater, holds him gently so the flow wouldn't wash him away. holds him with one hand on hip second is under his neck near gills but letting the water flow through, letting him breathe.

thats how he escapes shadows too. river always helped him and this time is not exception. he kills to shadow that were trying to smother him into relaxing. bold of them. he never trusts new incomers. sorrow from wound they left him, sorrow from the fact none of Vaqueros made it out of base, sorrow from being alone.

he is relieved to see and hear ghost n soap. even more sorrow ale isnt with them. when soap is fall down on ghost from exhaustion, rudy lets him sorrow out crying over the wound because graves is fucker and has bullets with some kind of poison and soap is dying.

he isn't dying anymore and rodolfo goes out to river. slides off him clothes, lays down in cool water and lets himself relax, lets water talk to him. hour later be make some sort of nest in the deepest part of river and lays in it.

he almost dies when ale is fatally injured, holding side firmly, sited against side of truck and rudy dries himself. he'll die for ale and will die without him. he is absolutely grey by the time he calms down, tucks himself in alejandros now healing side and.. happy. he is happy ale will live, happy to die near him and his warmth.

again waking up in the river. maybe it was just a dream? but no. he is kissed, surrounded by water but also warmth. there are soft mumblings about something just above the waterline but rudy cant bring himself to care. he is so full and packed with love it could hurt.

[mychaotic-academia]

I’ve never posted any “about me” stuff so here’s some random me-based facts if anyone was curious!

I am 27 going on 28 (my birthday is October 21st)

I’m married to the love of my life, Vee, and she and I met when I was 18 and she was 21. I auditioned for her A Capella group in college and she fell in love instantly (the funny part is I was just thinking “I hope this girl lets me into her A Capella group” but I wasn’t far behind)

I have a cat named Bunny that I’m obsessed with. She’s a calico short hair and I do sometimes post pics! I tag them #Bunny

I work as a paraeducator in a high school, which basically means I help students with IEPs and such in classrooms. Right now I work in a classroom for students returning to school after school avoidance or hospitalizations. I love my job!

I’m in graduate school to get my Special Education degree so I can become a Special Ed teacher. I love being in classes again and I’m excited for the new step in my career!

I majored in Psychology in my Undergrad, and the 4 years I spent at University were amazing! I was originally going to be an adjustment counselor, but changed my mind.

I’m a creative person, and I write (poems, stories, novel length projects that never come to be), paint, play music, and sing. I sometimes post some of my creative content here too!

I’ve been a voracious reader since I was old enough to read. Before that my Dad read to me every night before bed. We kept that up through sometime in Middle School as we read all the Harry Potter novels, most as they were coming out (I’m old!)

I’m a pagan and a not quite professional but working on it psychic. I love doing readings for folks so ask away! I’m working on getting fluent enough to pick up a gig somewhere as a reader.

My parents are both writers. My mom has a published book of poetry and is published fairly widely for her poetry. My dad has self published two novels (he didn’t want to deal with getting a publishing deal but his books are good!)

I’m majorly into aesthetics and general awe. I see beauty everywhere and I’m constantly amazed by the world. My theory is that I’m a brand new soul and so everything is exciting to me, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

My old blog (if I follow you it is unfortunately still my “main”, nullnvoyd) was a BPD blog. I deleted everything and pretty much deactivated it as far as I could because it wasn’t helping. I’ve struggled with mental health since I was a kid, but am in a very good place right now, which feels amazing.

I was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of years ago and it has explained so much!

I live in Massachusetts and am watching the trees for any signs of leaves turning because it truly is a marvel to live in New England in the Fall.

I was born in Newfoundland Canada. My parents grew up there. In the early-mid 90s (when I was born) the fishery crashed and Newfoundland had unemployment of around 30+%. My dad got a job down here because he was, at the time, one of the few people who could do what he does with computers. I’m still only a Canadian citizen, mainly because its expensive to become a citizen in the US. I want to be a citizen for the next election though so I’ll have to prioritize it.

I used to own a crystal shop, but its down for now because I’m working and in school full time.

I was on Tumblr back in the day, when it was at the height of its popularity. I think it was 2011 or 2012 when I made my first account. Crazy how time flies once you leave public education and start getting older.

I love makeup and fashion, and I was self conscious about it for a long time because it didn’t feel like an “intellectual” pursuit, but that was completely a misconception. They are forms of art!

So thats a bit about me! Theres more, I’m sure, because people always contain untold multitudes, but those are what I could think of on half a cup of coffee on a Sunday morning.

[orchidbark]

I'm having pretty mixed feelings about tumblr's new content filtering. The short of it is, while I think it's good for tumblr its showed me I need to expand my horizons/places i post (the long of it is contained below lol)

so while i am looking forward to tumblr finally clawing its way back out of the stoneage with the way we can post content, and i know that content filtering is a major step towards that, it really chufts my fluffs that by tagging things as mature, im now getting less eyes on it.

i mean that's the system working as intended and I don't exactly want folks having to look at mature art when they don't want to. but since the content filtering is an optional switch you have to flick yourself, this means that people who might enjoy this stuff normally just don't see it because it's all off by default. which is annoying and discouraging to say the least (this isn't a finger point at any followers - you didn't design the system! just making sure thats clear so no one thinks I'm trying to boo hoo guilt them because they didnt see my arts or whatnot)

so while tumblr is my favorite site to post and is still kinda my home in a lot of ways (i've been here over a decade in one account or another), im gonna start trying to focus on other sites as well. i opened a furaffinty account so I can unleash a little more over there, and I guess i should update my neglected twitter... i would like to post more on twitter anyway and have been meaning to, but twice in the first year i was trying to establish myself, it got locked for "suspicious activity" (I posted two things in the same day) which really ground my ambitions into powder.

But to keep up with crossposting i got postybirb. ive never used it before though but we'll see how it goes! if the bird site locks me out again ill just turn into a giant slime and eat northamerica (i promise)

that all said, i'm not leaving tumblr or anything so dramatic. but since my primary audience is based on a webedsite that can just chunk off my audience overnight for following the rules, I don't want to keep putting all my eggs in one basket.

[worldenough-and-time]

I know it’s better to like “let my art speak for itself,” but I do want to say a few things about this next chapter of TTTB.

So, story time: I’ve been writing this fic while living in a red state that is in the process of passing a slew of horrendous anti-trans legislation. A little while ago when I was writing this chapter, I went to a state legislature committee hearing to speak against a bill that would ban gender affirming medical care for minors. Of course, the the Texas Leg are are a bunch of fucking cowards so they stacked the “invited testimony” block of the hearing with right wing nut jobs, and public testimony didn’t even begin until 9pm. For context- hundreds of people had driven in from all over the state to testify against this bill. Some had been there since 6 in the morning. Then the committee decided they were going to cut off the public testimony at midnight- which is highly unusual and was clearly a reaction to the obvious public opposition to the bill, which they were planning to pass no matter what anyone said. I never got to speak, and the vast majority of the people there never got to speak.

So like, fuck democracy, I guess.

Anyway, at around 9pm the public testimony starts. Since this was a bill that would affect kids, there were a lot of kids and families there. Again, these folks had been there since 6 in the morning, had missed school and work the whole day, and were finally getting to speak. And these kids were amazing. Ten, eleven, twelve year olds, hundreds of miles from home, exhausted, speaking to senators about their right to exist. Justifying their right to continue getting the care that their doctors and therapists and parents agreed was medically necessary. Literally begging these fucking ghouls to vote down this bill, or else they would likely have to move out of the state.

And a lot of the kids talked about when they first realized they were trans. And those stories usually had one thing in common- they had met another trans person, recognized their own experience, and were finally able to verbalize what they’d never had the language to say before.

And it struck me that this is exactly what all the bigots are trying to make impossible with these laws. They want to legislate trans kids out of existence, make it illegal to be trans in public, censor any mention of queer or trans folks in schools, ban gender nonconforming folks from any place kids might be, so that kids don’t have anyone to look to when they’re figuring out they’re queer and trying to see if it’s possible to be who they are safely and happily. Cause it’s so much harder to be open about who you are without seeing someone else do it first- without anyone to guide you.

And thats what this chapter is about.

Anyway, I’m not trans but I love people who are, and this fic is in a lot of ways a love letter to them, and to the queer community where I live. We’re not going anywhere.

Ah, that ended up being a lot longer than I thought. Without any further ado- here’s the chapter. I’ll make another post without this whole preamble, but yeah. Today and Always, Fuck the Texas Leg.

Chapter 9: Test Case

Sirius was nine years old the first time she ran away from home. She only managed to stay away one night before Kreacher came and dragged her back from Andromeda’s flat, but it didn’t matter. That one night changed her life.

“Shit, An, is that a kid?”

Sirius looked up from the stoop on which she sat. She’d dozed off slightly while waiting for Andromeda to get home. For some reason she had imagined that Andromeda would be there to greet her with open arms when she’d clutched the small key ring her cousin had given her last year, a portkey to her new flat. Just in case.

It hadn’t even been that bad at home when she’d left. Just a row with her mother, a few lashes on the top of her hands that Sirius thought she’d truly earned by the end the way she’d run her mouth. Maybe Andromeda would think she’d wasted it. Sirius had always been impulsive.

Now her cousin stood under a fluorescent streetlight flanked by Ted, whom Sirius knew, and several other friends, whom Sirius did not. All of them looked like they were getting home after a night out, dressed in leather and fishnets and eyeliner, even the blokes, and Sirius thought they were the coolest people she’d ever seen in her life.

“Sirius?” Andromeda asked, coming close enough to see her clearly. She was barefoot in silk pajamas, eyes blotchy, hair a mess, shivering from the cold. There was dark crusted blood on her hands and the hem of her shirtsleeve. She held the spent portkey with a shaking grip.

“Hey Andy.”

[digital-roots]

ok so heres my uhmmm playlist recommendation thing from a few posts ago. dont rush into feeling obligated to listening to it cuz these work best when you're just doing nothing

The songs btw are pretty folk punk and ska, it doesn't contain much of swearing or graphic content, just vibing and sadly sighing

I'll also add some details about the audio and videos linked just in case

. * ★

1. AJJ - Loudmouth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSZ70eKmoSU

*This one has some ambulance siren alarms at the start, and the video contains mild use of VHS effects, no flashing

.

2. Pat The Bunny - We don't get tired, we get even

https://youtu.be/6b8J3k4IZPU

.

3. Sad Snack - No Children (Ska) (Cover)

https://youtu.be/8e1pcpbnoDw

*Loud with the instrumentals (trumpets and drums), especially at the start

.

4. Big D and the Kids Table - Doped Up Dollies On A One Way Ticket To Blood

https://youtu.be/NzRdLVVWrjQ

*A bit loud with the instruments, but this one is really fun and I've been meaning to share it for a while

.

tell me what you think or didnt like! Im mainly more curious about your opinion than wanting you to like them, so just pick a few and ramble abt it lol

Okk first of all thank you for the song recommendations i will be listening to them rn

1. Loudmouth by Ajj - Ok this first song is really good, the opening for the video confused me a lot cause i never heard of this band and actually searched abt them if they were actually dead lol

Its good, the music video was fun and I think the vocals is very nice

2. We dont get tired we get even by Pat the Bunny - Ok very raw, i Love the album art. On first listen it felt a bit slow than i liked but the second listen i liked it a lot more. My fav part is the end

3 No Children cover by Sad Snack - Love the cover art too. I think its cool take on the song and i love how they do the ending part, but i think theres something missing? As in i feel like its missing something to truly make it amazing. Good but probably wont listen to again sry

4. Big D and the Kids Table - Doped Up Dollies On A One Way Ticket To Blood - god that title is long. Anyway I LOVE THIS SONG ITS SO FUN AMD CATCHY AND GOOD AND I LOVE THE COVER ART and man i really fucking wish i had a like a cd or casette of this thats how much i like it thank youuu for recomendding this to me anon

[masochistikitty]

hi! im aysel/fenyx/roadkill. this is mostly for reblogging other peoples stuff that i think is cool, but also posting my own art. i am currently taking a break from tumblr. my interests are:

- my personal creative projects (im a writer and a worldbuilder. look at all my conlangs im like tolkien with this shit) please ask me about them i like to ramble

- homestuck, creepypasta, mlp:fim

- some music of very widely varying tastes, mostly folk punk lately

- horror! a few movies, some writing, lots lf art, general horror concepts. i love spooky shit <3 vulture culture and taxidermy have my heart too i wanna learn how to do rogue taxidermy in particular

- animation, film, all that. connoisseur of indie short films

- art !!!!!! when i have motivation

- games !!! minecraft (+ mcyt), skyrim, phantasy star i + ii (so far), nitw, getting into the last of us, a few that sorta just sit on a back burner, hopefully more soon !!

- animalss!!!!! especially bugs lately, but i love to do a deep dive into a species/family/whatever and learn a lot and then literally never use that knowldge again

- etc i have so many random interests and like zero at the same time . lmao

ao3 - https://archiveofourown.org/users/MasochistiKitty

banner cred: gloomygrove / icon cred: astroeden

oh and my url is a reference to a running joke ive had plus. masochist and enjoy cats :3

also i am alwaysalways open to media recs, people trying to have a conversation, that kinda thing! dont be scared i dont bite

tags-

ramble - personal thoughts, not super important

homestuck obsession - things i post about hs that arent good enough to get to go in the main tags

judaism.tag - every once in a while jewish posts cause. yeah i am. yaaay

weird shit - thoughts/art/whatever of mine that might have some more potentially weird aspects? idk im an avid liker of fictional incest so stuff weirder than that is. ?? theres stuff idk.

liveblogging stuff - me liveblogging things. specific media will have the tag set up "[name of media] liveblogging ★". the star is there so i dont annoy people by posting in main tags or anything

music tag - self explanatory. music rambles cause i fixate on songs and artists sometimes

dead things - vulture culture and dead things. i <3 death she can [interrupted by the video turning off suddenly]

-name - replace name with an actual name or nickname and thats signoff for other parts. im plural and its nice to mark who said what yk

[mdverse]

Hey there!! Im not the most consistent tumblr scroller but when I have time sometimes I come check your page out and I stumbled across your post on your art journey and man, it was really special to read.

I really liked what you said about practice and experimentation, and starting with copying/tracing/referencing folk we really like), and slowly finding a way to develop asystem that works for us, whether it be for brushes or writing- in my case!

I also really resonated with the part about finding something to be inspired by, to push us to create our own shit - and I guess thats the cool thing about art, and writing, and music, and science etc etc I guess? The fact that everyone builds on the stuff that comes before!

But yes - it's been so cool and 21st century weird, I guess - to feel like I've seen your work evolve in this year thanks to tumblr?

Ooh this got long. But Im sendin u lots of love :)

Yeah!! U get me!

I've gotten a lot of comments from people saying they could never draw the way I do and it's frustrating bc like. Yeah you're gonna suck at drawing for a while but everyone goes through that stage! You'll never get better at anything if the fear of failing prevents you from even starting! And the feeling you get when you compare your recent art to your older drawings (or writing, in your case) and see nothing but improvement is unparalleled. I can't speak for everyone obviously but when I compare sth I've drawn recently to my earlier digital artworks I get a massive rush of pride because I know how much effort I've put into art over the past few years and sometimes I forget it. But then I see the progress and it all feels worth it again. It really is a special feeling! And to be honest I feel like showcasing growth is so important. Like that's part of the reason I still keep all of my old art on my ig page - I could delete it bc it's embarrassingly bad in my eyes, but seeing it evolve over time is sth that really motivates me, and hopefully motivates anyone else who makes or is considering making art :)

And the fact that everyone builds on the stuff that comes before!! So very true! It's wild to think that the people I look up to have their own sources of inspiration, who in turn have their own sources, etc in an endless cycle! I can't think about it too much bc it'll get overwhelming really quickly but it's incredible, isn't it?

Anyway this will get long too unless I stop myself haha, talking about art will never not get me excited. I'm sending you so much love too, it's lovely to see you here 💞

[noisytenant]

sorry im just kinda venting but i cannot fucking believe the “all transmascs make softboy folk punk and all transfems make insane electronic music” post is UNIRONICALLY on my dash again, not only that but someone actually having the audacity to add to say “ive literally never heard a single transmasc musician i like, theyre stoners trying too hard lol” and person who reblogged it saying “spotify recommended me a playlist of trans musicians and the transmascs all sucked” like stop letting spotify tell you what music to listen to. of course you’re only getting stupid palatable shit.

even if you have some part in the back of your mind that knows that surely Not All trans people follow this paradigm, even if it Is weird/funny that it’s a trend, it’s shitty to actually believe in and spread the idea that trans musicians just happen to do things a certain way because you haven’t been curious enough to explore other artists.

i kinda wanted to reblog it to be like You fucking idiots but 1. i clearly take it personally and i feel embarrassed to make it someone elses problem that im being excluded/ignored by this paradigm 2. i dont want to shill myself for this post but i Am the first person that comes to mind 3. im honestly too annoyed to reply in a way that isnt straight up mean and i dont want to do that

anyways if you cant find transmasc musicians you like 1. thats fine it literally doesnt matter you dont need to check off a box 2. stop fucking listening to spotify and check out bandcamp, soundcloud, and RYM lists 3. do not assume that because you heard 5 white trans musicians that you know everything there is to know about the spectrum of art all trans people have to offer

[frogmentarii]

QUESTIONS FOR OC CREATORS

Haaaa ok so I am doing this cause i saw @fallout-lou-begas steal it from @tarberrymentats and they both looked like they were havin hella fun so i am commandeering this for my own purposes. So lucky for yall its Emi time (art by the dearest @yesjejunus because yall need to see more of her work)

A) Why are you excited about this character?

Because she's an older woman (57) that breaks a lot of moulds and I love to see it. Aside from just enjoying older characters, Emi isn't a sweet old lady and she isn't here to try and mother anyone. Her drives are entirely her own and while she prioratizes herself and her sister before anyone else, its not always due to complete selfishness and just due to growing up in the wastes (I try to keep her character true to a fend for yourself setting as possible). I think Ill go into detail in another question with this, but I went through a lot of concepts and personalities for Emi before settling on someone who was seasoned and very much a product of the wastes. I think after seeing a lot of other couriers I finally figured out what I wanted to do differently, and that sort of helped guide her to become what she is today.

B) What inspired you to create them?

I think my last line there sort of short answers this. I wanted someone different from the other couriers I saw, and wanted to make one that was distinct or even juxtaposed against some tropes. She's a woman in her late 50s that doesnt try and play mom/granny to the companions, she very much has no stake in what happens to the Mojave, she doesnt care about Benny or that he shot her in the head (such is life in the Mojave, but she did have a job to complete so ripperoni him), and a lot of her motivations are selfish or exist to benefit her sister. She doesnt act 'old' in the fact that she isn't a wise caring soul or a grumpy old man, but rather her age is shown through her experience, and this also shapes her personality. She's never had to formally 'grow up' so she can come off as immature and irritating for her own entertainment, but she doesn't have youthful ignorance for how the world works. She knows how to be responsible but she doesnt have to act like it outwardly, even with her Tragic Caregiver Backstory.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

To a large degree in the beginning, yes, and to specific degrees now, also yes. Writing in general isnt my strong point though I did know what I wanted for her. The main image is there but the details are funky, and Ive been slowly hammering those out as I work along with her and Camila's stories. There's been some huge changes along the way that help push both of them towards an ending I like and that fits them, and even if it takes forever and I never actually write a fic, I'll be happy when she finally feels completed in New Vegas.

Aside from that, she kind of fits in anywhere in regards to AUs. My friend @yesjejunus and I have probably like 40000 fucking aus for our OCs and all of them feel just as organic and their canon stories.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

So I know I have an 'original concept Emilia' art on here where she looked like Laura Croft and had aviators but that wasnt even her first concept. I had originally wanted to make a petite southern belle type from Louisiana who used a shot gun and had a mean streak, but as I kept playing with concepts Emi really started to lean other places. Another huge change was her personality. Even when her concept got settled as a sniper from Mexico, she was suppose to be an early 30s caravan guard who was way too sure of herself. While there are reminents of that concept still in her, she has a lot more experience in the wastes and in think-on-your-feet situations to back up her attitude. Another thing she required was dropping her "take me seriously" personality with more goofy "i do what i want cause why not" traits.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Emi can get along with anyone at a surface level, for a small while, if it will benefit her or she wants to pass time. She really doesn't have interest in folks who arent interesting or beneficial in some way. Since I don't really offer her much, and am a bit of a wet bag, she might yank my chain for her own funsies or she'd have no interest.

And while I did indeed give Emi my go with the flow attitude, I think I wouldn't be able to keep up with her. Emi is very fast paced and doesnt necessarily have regard for those she decides to pick up as drinking buddies for the night. Def dont trust her with my life, and knowing the shit she gets into I'd def want to steer clear of it....like a trainwreck its much better to watch her from a safe distance, lol.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

A lot of affection from a meta standpoint? I've worked with Emi and Cam a lot since creating them, and they've def come a long way since their original concepts. I wouldn't say their story is quite where I want it yet, but I am quite happy with it overall.

That, and Ive met so many awesome writers along the way with Emi. Not all of my friends have posted fic but the amount of world building and having our characters interact and talking OCs ive done with them has placed both Emi and their OCs in a special place for me. Sure her having her own story is fun but I much more prefer the bonds Ive created with people over OCs and I think thats a bit more of a cherished component to character creation for me.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Literally? That she likes to be irritating if she feels she can get away with it (or even if she cant). Actually? That she has a very "I shelter you and feed you therefore I make the rules, period." stance on how she takes care of her charge. She lets a lot of shit slide with Camila but things get very Rapunzel-esque at times.

H) What trait do you admire most?

How sure of herself she is. Even if its to a fault, she trusts herself and her judgements. That sort of confidence is something I strive to have haha.

To a lesser degree, and more of a meta point I wanted to make with her, just...her appearance I suppose? To me she's attractive, but she also has a lot of traits that aren't conventionally attractive and that's played a lot into how Ive wanted her to be. Again she's 57 years old. She has age to her body, her skin wrinkles and droops, her tits sag, she has the body of someone who uses chems, and yet despite her age and breaking of beauty standards ive made it a point to show that she is desired or thought of as attractive in non fetish specific circumstances. She herself, while aro, also still has an active sex drive and I really wanted this to be a backseat part of her character, as I feel like fandom in general shafts older women in this department (this also goes for a lot of her non 'old lady' traits I give her too). She still has sexual needs and is still very much sexually active, and she is still found to be a regular sort of attractive and is desired by those she gets involved with.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

Yes? Ish, to a degree. I didnt have to but I wanted to. I also did a lot of headcanoning with post Mexico for her early life which, afaik is free real estate for lore/nothing super detailed has been given in canon.

Given that she and Camila both shape their stories as individuals, I did have to split up some canon elements to follow two seperate characters, but other than that I really just had to make sure Emilia's story wasnt "boring" in the fact that she again, has no real stake in what happens to Vegas/the Mojave.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

Cackles in 'which au will I obsess with today'

For the most part yes, however I love placing her in new things or different stories. She may be 'my courier' but really shes just the frog granny that goes into whatever au I am feeling at the time.

[cosmosrival]

there it is! kama interlude analysis by a kama fan!

WELL. LIKE IT SAYS IN THE TITLE: this is just my own thoughts!! youre free to think whatever u want !! i am just putting my own knowledge into words because i genuinely love kama, and i would like for kama’s depth to be understood by the NA fandom a little more!! i try to stay as close as possible to their character in everything i do because i believe that the more in character they are, the funnier/more interesting content ppl will produce. 

and hopefully i understood them well ???!!!! HOPEFULLY ?!

i will be screenshotting the translated reddit post under this read more and stop whenever something i find interesting to develop pops up ! or else it’ll get way too long lol if you wanna read the interlude for yourself heres the link!

with that said, let’s go!!

kama’s interlude begins with guda passing the hell out because of exhaustion and then waking up in a dream sequence where kama treats them to some relaxing adventures, stuff to take their mind off heavy things!! first dream sequence is kama roleplaying a highschool setting where they’re dating.

i like this because they openly admit that its an illusion, breaking the immersion but as long as youre okay with roleplaying, they’ll continue it LOL  at some point, caesar mentions the student council president and arjuna appears behind him 

since this is an illusion that kama made, i’ve been wondering about the fact that the way servants conduct eachother in this interlude is mostly because that’s how kama envisions they would act in a highschool setting, in an amusement park and finally with eachother (mostly for confirmed couples such as siegbryn, consort yu and her hubby etc...). suzuka and sei being gyarus is obvious, but arjuna as the student council president... is so cute???!!! i MEAN IT FITS ?! THATS A GREAT IDEA KAMA!!!! ANYWAY

this is kama’s first monologue and since they’re primarily the god of lust, all of the more vanilla stuff they mentions such as sharing a pair of headphones embarrasses them since its so tame. ITS CUTE !!! kama expects you to be horny in class !! what are you doing thinking about hand holding !!! medusa saves u from that tho with a direct reference to her relationship with kama’s vessel 

this is interesting !! and reassuring !!! i think that kama as a character has a lot of depth and just reducing them to “sakura” would be a waste and this interlude shows how different they are from her. but they’re also similar! sakura went through a lot just like medusa says and kama does have trauma related to shiva. its not the same circumstances but the same kind of suffering which explains the nuance here. and what i like about chaldea is that there’s been multiple instances where its been proven that servants can grow thanks to their relationships with guda (most common example: leveling up your bonds) BUT ALSO, saint graph evolution (alts). and as a kama fan i’d like to see them happy someday and this interlude as a whole is proof of their healing/coping because of the time they spent in chaldea and how they interact with others. more on that later ! here, they don’t recognize medusa which is normal since they’re not sakura (someone else entierly), but...

they care about her ! because of sakura’s influence being a part of the servant called Kama(assassin). the difference here is important !! but i’ll come back on this in a bit. quick mention to the greek cupid <3 kamadusa nation we were fed (i clap by myself because im the only one who has 57575757557 kama rarepairs-----)

kama is a delinquent whos horny in class but still takes a few notes, enough to do well on their tests! and thats tea<3 smart horny lazyass !! theyre a gift

SO ARJUNA WAS OUT FOR BLOOD ????? ANYWAY, this is right after the actual fight against weirdo terrorists, and im happy to know that kama DOES enjoy a good fight (as proven in their voicelines as well) but theyre not a farming unit because it’d be too much work (single target NP..)...!!!!!!! lavish god of love.... 

FINALLYYYYYYYYYYY THE REAL DEAL !!!!!!!!!!!! “it feels wonderful to be your girlfriend” christ, kamadeva was so used to being a husband and a good lover, it reflected in their servant version.... but ree what do u mean by servant version???

I MEAN THE OBVIOUS !! kama explains it very well in the screenie just above ! 

“You know very well how servants work.”

KAMA ASSASSIN (the servant in your chaldea) is neither KAMADEVA or SAKURA MATOU or MARA. they’re a MIX OF PARTS OF THE THREE. creating an entierly new person(in this case, servant) !!!! it might sound like i’m repeating myself, but this is important!!!!!!!!! i will say this multiple times so people remember it !!! and if u already had this figured out: GOOD JOB I LOVE U !!!

Kamadeva (the god) has many stories, ones where he was born from concepts (dharma and shraddha), one where his parents are brahma and sarasvati, one where his parents are vishnu and lakshmi, stories about his reincarnation after his death where his parents are krishna and rukmini, his love with Rati and so on. We all know Sakura’s backstory since this is nasuverse. And Mara is a demon, an entity that tried to corrupt Buddha and prevent him from reaching enlightenment/stray from the path. Kama assassin has parts from all of these entities which explains why they have a vague longing for Rati, why they have a soft spot for Medusa and why they have an affinity with Kiara(and also like talking about corrupting u !). 

they then mention how a japanese highschool setting is fun and all i have to say is: i’m gonna make an indo fam delinquent vs student council au out of this one folks !!!!!!!! i gotta !!! 

OK next

TIME FOR THE SECOND DREAM SEQUENCE WHICH I WAS VERY VERY VERRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY AFRAID OF BEFORE THE TRANSLATION CAME OUT.

THE PART WHERE KAMA ACTS LIKE YOUR CHILD.

well with their stage 1 it was expected but without the translation i have to say that i was scared shitless! because people hate thinking! and even if kama clearly tells you that it’s a charade, u know a JOKE. A DREAM SEQUENCE. DONT BE A CREEP. KAMA INTENDED FOR IT TO BE WHOLESOME. i know some ppl wont use their brains. but u know its fgo and degenerates are everywhere. 

anyways. family bonding time ensues until another monologue appears!!

exactly like before, kama mentions myths that belonged to kamadeva. Meaning that the Kama in our chaldea isn’t the Kamadeva we know and is not Pradyumna either but the fact that the writers chose to have kama acknowledge it is very reassuring !!! Because it means that they’ve chosen to make it a part of their (complicated) history. Kama says that Pradyumna is the myth about themself they know the least, once again proving us that the Kama in our Chaldea (Assassin) is a different entity and that they were summoned to the throne upon their death, the moment they were burned by Shiva’s flames and became Ananga, in any case they’re still familiar with all of their own myths. it allows us to keep heroic spirits separate from their original myths. Obviously! And in the case of pseudo-servants, it allows us to keep them separate from their vessels. Cuz this is a fanservice japanese game. Andddd the fandom likes forgetting this fact quite a lot i’ve noticed. As a person who loves thinking about tons and tons of headcanons for fun, this allows us a lot of space ! Because this is fate/grand order at its base. Nasuverse. 

I’m glad that the interlude explains it so clearly, it’s very good !! Because the majority of myths from every culture are confusing, family trees are confusing, names are confusing, powers and attributes are confusing... its a mess !!!! the fgo characters we know are just cut from their own respective timelines/historial figures so the writers can organize themselves more easily. Like cutting halves from a big cake. Kama (Assassin) is the Kama that died from Shiva’s flames and became the universe ONLY. In Nasuverse, Arthur Pendragon is a woman. Anastasia Romanov NEVER had a demon familiar named Viy in real life despite the creature being part of russian folklore. u know ! im russian i can testify dude !! 

hopefully everyone got this bc i wont be explaining this any further dude, its exhausting !!!!!! bangs my hands on the table !!!!! 

ANYWAYS kama mentions “eternal pain that turns [them] into ash” being their key element. Their trauma is at the center of their heroic spirit self, what they are as a servant. This suffering is tied to everything they do, why they’re so lazy, why they’re so lax, why they’re so detached from their job.  But they’re not detached from their role. And “job” and “role” have different connotations here. They refuse to work as a cupid because of obvious reasons. BUT. They’re not detached from their role as the God of Love, as the God of Passion. The embodiment of those feelings. This whole interlude is proof ! They’re giving u free therapy because they Love you. Passion. They feel your love. Passion. They acknowledge how much fun you’re having. How passionate you are about certain things. They might seem extremely detached and hateful, but they aren’t. They’re one of the most empathetic servants there is. And their ability to love everything, even the things they hate is what makes them so miserable. Because it’s a part of them. Because the concept of Kama in hinduism is linked to them. Be it lust or simply the passion born from anything you do where you’re enjoying yourself. (quote:  “ the term also refers to any sensory enjoyment, emotional attraction and aesthetic pleasure such as from arts, dance, music, painting, sculpture and nature “. R. Prasad (2008), History of Science, Philosophy and Culture in Indian Civilization )

... I’d like to say that this contrast with Mara is interesting. And that i’m glad the writers chose to add in Mara to the kama assassin Beast mix. 

Because the anger Mara feels can become a drivepoint for Kama. I’ve always believed that anger and sadness are two sides of the same coin, it’d explain how layered Kama is and how valid their emotions are. Constantly torn between love and hate. An eternal grudge (i don’t deserve to be hurt like this) and an eternal misery(maybe i do deserve to be hurt like this). 

i wish they were my roommate <3 oh fuck ree got emotional wait where were we.

OH YEAH

i think kama saying that they dislike being involved with other indian servants because theyre linked to shiva is a feeble attempt at trying to keep up a strong front because they still love them in the end. cuz that’s how kama is ! after a while they’ll get bored of bullying ganesha and ashwatthama. they’ll get interested in rama because their respective mythos are linked even if their servant selves have no connection. hell, at the end of the interlude they talk about parvati and how they themself changed and realized things. BUT OH WELL, THATS STUFF FOR ANOTHER POST HEHE thats just ree wanting kama to b happy yall move along !!

.....THIS ISNT A COLLEGE STUDENTS ROLEPLAY BUT ITS A CUTE JAPANESE COMPANY BOSS/UNDERLING SETTING AND ITS CUTE SO I THINK KAMA WEARING A PENCIL SKIRT AND POURING U ALCOHOL IS CUTE. CUTE.

further proof of kama’s overflowing affection and what i detailed above!! hopefully u all knew this one simply from reading this interlude/their profile page and dont need me to write it down for u. HOPEFULLY !!!!!

(I START BEATBOXING VERY RAPIDLY AND RUNNING TOWARDS YOU) KAMA IS A SADIST AT THEIR CORE AND I WILL NEVER STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re easy to fluster because theyre not used to being so vanilla, but whats underneath is how they truly are !! a beast turned servant, the sweetest sadist !! theyre very mature and this interlude is so well written (wipes my teears

this is directly linked to what i explained above, by burning you away, you’ll melt into nothingness just like they did. When they were the universe, they felt both everything and nothing. 

But was it really relief ... ?

... IT WASNT.

AND PARVATI SAVES THE DAY !!!!!!! phew!! thank u paru, it’d still like to be able to touch kama’s huge titties and i cant do that if i turn into ashes (falls down the stairs

ok she summoned lovey dovey canon couples to annoy kama since they’re exhausted of seein them!!

...............(I TAKE OUT A KNIFE) TAKE THAT BACK. DONT TALK TO THEM LIKE THAT. TAKE THAT BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

ohhhhhh im obsessed i love when theyre angry<3 i love when theyre fighty <3 i think they should beat the living shit out of a boxing bag DAILY to let out some of this steam. they’d be a monster on the ring... aaa kama in training boot y shorts aa a .. .uughg hg ouu... (you all shove me into a locker)

ok this is interesting !! i think that the interlude showing us that parvati feels a semblance of guilt is character dev. proof for what i mentioned before!! in ookuu parvati felt quite ..unsympathetic to me, even if kama is a beast who wants to annihilate humanity, when u think about it, at their core their grudge is because of her and shiva’s betrayal. and here, she properly apologizes for making kama so upset. this is heartwarming to me since i dislike thinking that members of the indo fam hate eachother :( same goes for arjuna and karna, at some point i’d like for them to act like bros normally and finally be comfy. but anyways !!

u wake up from the dreams and da vinci, mashu and paru are here to tell u whats going on. But its fine bc u remember everything and u have to go thank someone for helping u out!!!

CUTE !!!!!!! THEY CARE ABOUT U !!!!!! but whether it be because of their role or because theres a deeper meaning is entierly up to your own interpretation because...

of what they say here. 

and here !! 

ohhhhhhhhh this is so important !!!!!!

this is actual proof of kama’s growth as a servant and how servants evolve in chaldea !! chaldea is not the same as a grail war, its a special, cut-off place and thats what makes it even more relaxing to think about. Everytime u summon a servant in ur chaldea u give them a chance to have fun with you, to have fun with other servants, to make amends, to start from scratch, to discover things they would’ve never known in their time (movies, video games, tons of different foods etc...), u give them a chance to relax. to grow !! this is the headcanon that im most attached to and im glad to see it be confirmed in the interlude of a character i love tbqh i had to stop and talk about that.

everyone say thank u kama !! can we roleplay a college roommate coffee shop slowburn au next time <3 

ANYWAYS if you’ve read it this far: thank you !!! im sorry if you expected something very serious, im not that type of person hehe im jus here to have fun and look at things i like, and the interlude itself was quite lighthearted and refreshing. By talking about the myths and all of kamadeva’s stories, the writers basically gave lore nerds a huge thumbs up like... “its ok now !! u can go ape now !! go be insane<3 love u<3″ and all of this kama characterization GENUINELY makes me so happy because i think they really needed that. kama assassin... (i blow a kiss to the sky) is a little mess of a servant... a god, human crumbs and a demon... a total mess... im in love with them...

..............tho now the wait for a summer alt where they interact with the entire indo fam begins (im sitting in a chair unmoving)(i have a gun in case minase begins acting gross

[wings-dingus]

welp, y’all wanted some so here’s an infodump, babey!

here’s the first drawing i had done of gaster in a While, before i started the askblog. i was lookin through some old art of mine (old as in 2016-early 2017) and i found an AU of mine that was really just,, an Aesthetic change (and not really too much of a cohesive aesthetic at that) more than anything else, and this askblog’s gaster is pretty different than that au’s gaster, but i saw him and decided to draw him again for the Nostalgia and then that spiraled into creating an entire askblog (well, aNOTHER askblog. I kinda had another one, wayyyy old, like 2015 ish, but the app i was posting it on got rid of their online community Everything and i did not back anything up, so it is lost to the void :( it makes me sad to think about, even if it did kinda really suck ‘cause like, thats where i really started going online and drawing digital art and learning how to tell a story.)

a couple doodles from right after that where i started playing with the idea that i could create an askblog on tumblr, a couple goopy mans

some Anxious mans in like, late march i believe. dunno why i was drawing him anxious, was probably thinking of upcoming plotlines or somethin. Maybe i was trying to solidify his design, idk

a sneak peak into how Gaster lost his tooth/got that crack! i drew this Right at the beginning of april. It may look angsty but its kinda funny and he’s super embarrassed by it, and therefore never actually told anyone how it happened so all the Lab Folks have tons of rumors for how it happened and absolutely None of them are correct. (remember, kids, always utilize lab safety measures, even if you think you don’t need them!)

some quick doodles of papyrus’s new outfit, trying to figure out details, etc.

and this one is trying to figure out the designs for Gaster’s parents! I May or May Not be repurposing (and thus changing a little bit to fit the setting) a couple of ocs from a different project for this but thats only because i love them, so meet a couple tentative designs for David Libre Dingbats (top) and Entypo Dingbats! (bottom)

and thats it for past drawings that are in my sketchbook... i’ve got quite a few doodles on my computer i’ve never posted, but that will be for another post.

[iconsumeheadcanons]

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

P5

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

P4

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

P3

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same