#thats not what that came across as. but i guess they really took all the fun out for the kids show

[youssefguedira]

damn they broke up

[dkfile]

gold rush

❛ everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you. ❜ ━gold rush, taylor swift

word count | 19.2k (19,220) genre | fluff, angst, slowburn, exes to lovers, summer au ━ gn!reader

though there is no denying that kim mingyu was once a big part of your life, you believe that the pain he’s left you with is long gone; he is a memory, and that is all he will ever be. but then you get home, and he’s there, and maybe you have to reconsider just how much you’ve moved on.

★ warnings | brief mention of injury/scars/blood, alcohol consumption, suggestive if u squint, seokmin and minghao meddling, i think thats it tell me if i missed anything ★ author’s note | it’s finally here!!! this took me longer than i thought it would, i really thought it’d only be on the shorter side (shorter side in dkfile means >10k words) but. this is literally 19k. i lied to myself i guess. hope u guys enjoy tho !! lmk your thoughts :D

In movies, summer signifies new beginnings. The sun’s radiance is bright enough to blind, the ocean glimmers underneath its attention, the sand is warm to the touch. Ice cream drips down your fingers and makes them uncomfortably sticky against the humid breeze. Some people come home, others leave, but they all have the intent of starting their new chapter right. Summer is about growth. It is about moving on.

It is not supposed to be about Kim Mingyu.

seok ☀️ > can you pls pick up the phone > i’m sorryyyyy that i lied to you ☹️ > forgive me!! 😓💔🙏 > do you need me to grovel? because i will

You scowl.

When you came back from college, welcomed home with open arms by your family and childhood friends, you were reassured that a certain boy — with golden skin, starry eyes, and your crushed heart in the palm of his hand — would not be back in town. Foolishly, you looked past the mischievous quirk of Minghao’s eyebrow, and the sheepish wince painted across Seokmin’s face when you expressed your delight at having them all to yourself.

There would be no ex-boyfriend to thwart your plans, no boy to drown your summer in gasoline and set it aflame.

But then your shopping cart bumps into someone else’s at the store, and when you look up, the bane of your existence is staring at you, open-mouthed and wide-eyed.

You vaguely remember the rather sharp inhale Seokmin took from behind you before you scoffed, incredulous and irritated, and harshly stated that Seokmin could finish grocery shopping by himself. You do not want to associate yourself with the traitor and the liar your so-called best friend has become.

Seokmin claims you’re being rather overdramatic. He swears he didn’t know Mingyu would be home so soon.

(“So soon?” you repeated when you picked up Seokmin’s fifteenth call ten minutes ago. “What does that mean? That you knew he was always going to be coming home?”

“…Listen—”

You hung up).

You find yourself sitting in the skatepark a few blocks from the mart, legs curled up on the bench and your chin resting on your knees. As the sun begins to dip below the horizon, the occupants slowly pack up and leave, until the sounds of wheels against concrete is replaced with the murmur of cicadas and the laughter from the occasional passerby.

The warmth of the wood seeps through your denim shorts, percolating across your body until you are hot underneath your clothes. Despite the heat of the day giving way to the mellow cool of the evening, sweat forms on your upper lip and hairline, an indicator that it’s too hot to sit out here and contemplate every choice you’ve made up until this moment.

Still, you stay; you’re not sure why. You never quite liked it here, had only enjoyed it when you were surrounded by your friends and their saccharine laughter. The scars on your leg are painful reminders of the multiple falls you took when he was teaching you how to skate.

(Sometimes, on bad nights, you still feel the ghost of his fingers on your waist and your wrist, guiding you on his board while children much younger than you zoom by).

You never left this area without a new injury, whether it be a bruise on the shin or a scrape on the knee.

Memories of what once was linger.

You do not remember what you had for breakfast this morning, or what show Seokmin recommended to you a few hours ago, or what car your dad was planning on buying.

But you remember Mingyu. You remember his smile and his sweet cologne and the way his hair fell into his eyes whenever his shoulders shook with laughter. You remember what it feels like to be in his bubble; it feels like you’ve been dumped into molasses — you become aware of your every move, and time begins to move just a little slower, as if you are trying to savour every moment before he disappears.

You feel him before you hear him.

That’s why you’re not surprised when he talks, his voice soft from where he stands behind the bench. You imagine him with his hands tucked into his pockets, staring at the empty ramps (he is not looking at you. You would know if he was looking at you. His gaze would burn more than a thousand wildfires).

“I thought they told you.”

Your voice comes out hoarse. “They told me you weren’t coming home.”

“Oh,” he doesn’t sound surprised, but he stills offers an apology. “I’m sorry.”

“Why? You’re not the one who lied.”

A quiet heartbeat passes. “Right.”

Your fingers drum against your calf. “How did you find me, anyway? Did Seokmin track my location?”

“No,” he murmurs. His voice has been quiet ever since he arrived. “I just… figured you’d be here.”

You swallow a large lump in your throat. “Oh,” you say weakly.

“Yeah,” he responds. There’s a brief moment of contemplation. He knows there’s a line he cannot cross, but he tries anyway. “Do you want a ride home?”

Your response is immediate and firm, and its harshness is enough to break the calm façade he unintentionally built around the both of you. “No. I’ll walk.”

“It’s hot,” he argues.

“I don’t need you, Mingyu,” you bite back. He clamps his mouth shut as unease settles in the pit of your stomach. “I don’t— I’ll be fine.”

He seems to hesitate; you aren’t sure how long he stands behind you, searching for a response.

Then, as if it pains him to say: “Okay.”

“Damn,” Minghao falls into Seokmin’s shoulder as they both laugh at your stumbling, “You suck!”

“Hey,” Mingyu barks, though he looks more like a puppy than the intimidating boy he imagines himself to be, “it’s not like you’re any better!”

You know Mingyu’s only saying this to make you feel better — Minghao is, arguably, the best on wheels out of the four of you — but the sentiment still warms your heart. At your smile, Mingyu’s annoyed mien is replaced with a grin of his own. He reaches over to squeeze your cheek.

“I believe in you,” he declares.

“As much as I appreciate what you’re doing,” you begin, stretching out your arms to balance on the board, “I don’t think I’m ever going to master this.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Mingyu huffs, hands hovering over your sides once the skateboard begins to move, eyes trained on your feet. “By the time we get out of here, you’re gonna give Minghao a run for his money.”

You sigh. Mingyu was always one for wishful thinking.

“You really think I’ll be able to do this by myself in half an hour?”

Mingyu hums hopefully.

The sun has already begun to set, and you had promised your parents you’d be home for dinner. With fall around the corner, the days are slowly becoming shorter, a constant reminder that your last year of school is upon you. Next are college applications, then admissions, and conversations about your future that you aren’t quite ready to have.

But you’ll worry about that when you need to.

Because right now, there is the skate park, the late summer breeze, and Mingyu, who shrieks along with you when you lose balance. His arms grab onto your waist, bringing you back to the ground as the skateboard continues to roll down the concrete. Right now, there is the furrow of his eyebrows, the mixture of disappointment and amusement swirling in his eyes, and his forehead pressed against yours.

“I thought I told you not to zone out,” he says with a slight shake of his head. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

You shrug, pecking his nose before pulling away to chase after the skateboard. “You’re so dramatic. The worst I could’ve gotten was a scraped knee.”

Mingyu scoffs. “So? I don’t want you getting hurt under my watch.”

“You’re my boyfriend, not my babysitter.”

“Well, I might as well be,” he argues. “You’re more accident prone than me.”

Laughing, you jokingly say, “Guess that means you’ve finally met your match, Kim.”

People used to say you and Mingyu were made for each other.

It is something you’ve tried to forget, but the fact follows you around like a shadow. This town, small and aware of the breakup, can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that you and Mingyu are no longer extensions of one another.

At some point, you hoped that people would understand your discomfort whenever he’s mentioned, but the fact of the matter is that you and Mingyu had been a package deal from when you were in diapers up until the end of senior year, and when you’re intertwined with someone for that long, it’s just as hard for you as it is for everyone to forget that part of yourself.

When you stop by the pharmacy, you don’t ask about him (you have no reason to), but the pharmacist still informs you that you’ve just missed him; when you see your mother’s colleague, she gushes about how nice it must be to see him after all this time (you do not have the heart to tell her otherwise); when you buy a pack of Sprite bottles for Mrs. Boo’s annual summer barbecue, the clerk asks if you know if he’s going to be in attendance (you say you have not talked to him in three years, and the clerk tilts his head in confusion).

Your patience has been worn thin by the time you arrive at Seokmin’s house.

“Hello, sunshine,” Minghao drawls when his attention settles on you. He watches you scowl before setting your bag on the armchair and taking a seat beside him on the couch. “How was your morning?”

“I’m ditching,” you declare, brushing off his question.

“Ditching what?”

“The barbecue,” you deadpan. “What else?”

“Now, why the hell would you do that?”

“Minghao,” you say blankly, “would it kill you to use your brain for once?”

“Are you calling me stupid?”

Seokmin enters the living room, carrying three cans of iced tea, all of which he places on the coffee table. He throws you and Minghao a look of annoyance. “If you guys are going to argue, please don’t do it under my roof,” he gestures around the room, “it kills the vibes.”

You roll your eyes but mutter an apology under your breath. Beside you, Minghao quips, “Y/N decided ditching the barbecue would be a good idea.”

You’re used to Seokmin’s mannerisms by now, so you don’t even flinch when he waves his arms around in disbelief. “What?” he exclaims, crouching in front of your legs and taking your hands into his. “Why the hell would you do that?”

Minghao hums. “That’s what I said.”

“Put that brain of yours to good use.”

“They said that to me, too.”

Seokmin huffs, knowing better than to let your quips deter him. “Please don’t tell me this is about Mingyu.”

You quirk an eyebrow, to which Seokmin scoffs, letting go of your hands before plopping down in front of you, even though there’s a free spot on the other side of Minghao. They scrutinize you for a moment, Seokmin’s eyes narrowed and lips twisted into a frown while Minghao stares blankly, showing no emotion or an indication of what’s going on inside his head.

It does nothing to make you feel comfortable.

You aren’t a stranger to Minghao and Seokmin’s examinations — they’re experts when it comes to breaking you down with analyzations and calculating eyes. But you haven’t been home in three years, and being on the receiving end of something as intense as this is startling, if not a little troubling.

(Being the only one enduring this, absent of a certain boy, is unsettling as well, though you’d rather die than admit that).

Seokmin nudges your ankle with his knee. “You know you’ll regret not going to this thing,” he says, eyes sparkling with amusement when you bristle. “You haven’t seen the Boo’s in forever, too. They’d be sad if you miss it.”

“Imagine how Seungkwan would feel,” Minghao adds, poking your arm to look at him, and continues to do so when you don’t. “He’d be miserable.”

You pout. “I doubt it.”

“You were in the same badminton club for five years,” Minghao argues softly, “I think he would be.”

Seokmin states, “And you’re not the type of person to let someone down, are you?” He pauses for a moment before adding, “Well, other than me and Minghao, on occasion.”

You cross your arms, leaning further into the couch as you avoid eye contact. You’re adamant on skipping, but Seokmin and Minghao know you better than anyone else, so they know exactly how to word their sentences and fabricate their bribes to get you to agree. They know, as long as you keep this up, the entirety of your summer will be spent in the four walls in your house, the only place in town guaranteed to not have Kim Mingyu.

And it may be pathetic, really, to continue letting him affect you like this.

(But it has always been you and Mingyu, Mingyu and you. He is part of your soul. There is a void in your chest that’s the shape of him. How are you supposed to erase all memory of someone like that?)

A painted fingernail pokes your side, a knee bumps your shin. Your friends look at you, hopeful.

A sigh.

“Okay, fine.”

“Can I ask you something?”

You hum, collapsing on the bench beside Seungkwan, his newly dyed platinum blonde hair appearing orange under the setting sun. Sweat trinkles down his frame but his breathing remains even, showing no sign that he just finished playing a rather intense badminton game a few minutes prior.

“What are you guys doing after you graduate?”

You take a sip from your water bottle in hopes the liquid will make it easier to swallow the lump forming in your throat. You have never minded these types of conversations, though the reminder of the future creates a pit in your stomach that only continues to grow larger with each passing day. And, knowing Seungkwan, you know there is more to his question than college applications and major declarations.

“What do you mean?”

“You, Mingyu, Minghao, and Seokmin,” Seungkwan elaborates. “You’re all going to different colleges, right?”

Pursing your lips, you risk a glance at him, only to find that he’s staring ahead. “Minghao’s going abroad, yeah, and Seokmin’s thinking of staying here,” you explain, voice low. “Mingyu and I are going to be together, though.”

At this, Seungkwan turns to you, eyebrows furrowed. “You two are going to the same university?”

There is something about the way he asks this — unsure, withdrawn, and cautious. You see the flare of uncertainty in his eyes, and it’s enough for your heartrate to quicken.

“Yeah. Why?”

He opens and closes his mouth. There is war in his head. Very rarely do you see Seungkwan at a loss for words. He is usually so quick on his feet, so witty, so talkative, and the silence that falls between you both is painful and nerve-wracking.

Should you be worried?

“Nothing,” he eventually settles for, ignoring the silent question in your eyes. “I was just thinking about how nice that would be.”

You decide to believe him. It is so much easier to be ignorant, you think.

(But it is also much more painful later. You do not allow yourself to dwell).

“Why’d you ask, anyway?”

“I was just talking to Vernon and Chan, and I realized we all want different things,” Seungkwan sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. “We won’t all be together much longer. It feels… weird.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you guys will be able to stay in touch?”

You shrug hopefully. “I think so,” you say, shifting your gaze to the horizon, “we’ve been friends forever. It’d take a lot to break that up.”

The scent of tangerines and aftershave fill your nose as you’re ambushed by a boy bursting with energy, bouncing on the balls of his feet while he resides in your arms, squeezing you tight as he spews angry statements that all come from a place of love.

Seungkwan is grinning by the time you pull away, grabbing you by your wrist and dragging you further into the backyard to catch up with other people. He doesn’t dare leave your side — he’s convinced you’ll slip away and disappear if he does — and you’re thankful; you don’t have the energy to steamroll through conversations today.

Though it’s humid, the warmth you’re engulfed in is a product of the Boo household. It is homely and welcoming and an embodiment of everything you’ve ever missed about home all in one lot. You should be happy to be here, surrounded by people you haven’t seen in years as a consequence of your avoidance, pulled into an endless pool of memories and nostalgia.

But you cannot shake it, the uneasiness.

You feel it as soon as the gate swings open and he enters, carrying two large Tupperware containers, one filled with brownies and the other with lemon squares. You feel it when he flashes his signature smile, canines as pearly white and blinding as you remember, and it still fills you with a sickening sense of joy.

“I’m gonna go get a brownie,” Seungkwan announces, loud enough to snap you out of it. “Do you want one?”

“No,” you decline, forcing yourself to smile even when you feel a burning sensation at the back of your head. “Thank you, though.”

Seungkwan nods and makes his way to the refreshments table, but not before wagging a finger in warning, “Don’t leave without saying goodbye!”

You frantically search the backyard, looking for any sign of Minghao or Seokmin, or maybe a superhero of some sorts to pull you away so you don’t disintegrate in the presence of Mingyu.

In your periphery, you see him excuse himself from conversations, eyes flickering towards you with a determination you aren’t unfamiliar with. It’s remorseful and desperate, and it reminds you of an instance in the skatepark a few years ago, you in his sweater and drowning in heartbreak and sorrow.

Someone swings their arm over your shoulder.

“Hey,” Minghao murmurs, steering you further into the backyard, away. You can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes you. “You okay?”

“Fine,��� you grit your teeth.

“You’re gonna have to talk to him at some point,” he says, dropping his arm once he’s decided you’re far enough. “I feel like it’d do the both of you some good.”

“I have nothing to say to him,” you protest. “And I’m sure he has nothing to say to me.”

“I really don’t think that’s the truth.”

“It is.”

“You were in love with him,” he says. It slips out of his lips so easily, as if he were talking about the weather or the shapes of the clouds. You wish you could mutter an admission like that — accept something like that — the way he had. “And he was in love with you, and it ended badly. That is more than enough of a reason to talk.”

It ended badly. You always associated a statement like that with relationships that ended in screaming matches or slamming doors. Ones where a simple argument escalated into one that finalized a conclusion, ones where there was nothing in the room but anger and exhaustion that overpowered the love.

You’ve never associated it with how your relationship with Mingyu ended. The sun was rising, and birds were chirping, and you were standing in the same spot you asked him out, the same spot he asked you to prom, the same spot he murmured three simple words into your ear before you fell asleep on his shoulder on the park bench.

It didn’t end because of a fight. Sometimes, you wish it had — maybe then you’d feel differently about everything, about him.

It just came to a halt, and he had been the one to step on the brakes.

“Talk to him,” Minghao urges again, sympathetic but firm. “You don’t have to do it now, but just do it before you leave. Don’t you think you deserve some closure?”

You find him talking to some of your classmates from your graduating class. They hang onto every word he says, face alit with curiosity and admiration, because some things never change, and he has been put on a pedestal since birth. In the hallways of the high school, his name is on the trophies, he’s beaming in most of the pages in the yearbook, he is this town’s pride and joy.

But you know him.

You see him smile and you’re not blind to the discomfort and falseness behind it. He doesn’t want to be there, you think, and your thoughts are proven correct when he glances up to look at you, and his mask slips by a fraction. For a moment, you see sincerity, a glimpse of the Mingyu you once knew.

Someone taps him on the shoulder and, as you predicted, he puts the mask back on.

You hate that you still know him like the back of your hand.

He is leaning against your frame, playing with your fingers, when he asks the question.

“How do you do it?” he wonders, looking up briefly to meet your questioning gaze before returning his focus on your hands, tapping them to the beat of an overplayed pop song.

His head has dipped down, allowing you to rest your cheek against it. “Do what?”

“Talk to everyone like that,” he says, using his free hand to gesture towards the backyard filled with the people you’re currently hiding from. The both of you sit on the staircase by the front entrance, away from any prying eyes. “They were hanging onto every word you said. They’re practically in love with you.”

You snicker. “What, don’t tell me you’re jealous?”

Mingyu matches your teasing tone with a playful lilt of his own. “Oh, I am. I’ve got some competition.”

You nudge him with your shoulder. “Don’t be too upset when I pick Mrs. Boo over you.”

He hums. “No promises.”

A blanket of comfortable silence falls over you. He fidgets with your hands, brushing his thumb over your nails, and tracing the lines of your palms with his index finger. You close your eyes, listening to the fading chatter of the town and the faint sizzling of meat on the grill.

“I should be asking you that, y’know,” you eventually mumble. Mingyu’s movements stop. “You’ve got the whole town wrapped around your finger. I’m pretty sure everybody loves you.”

To get you to open your eyes, he pokes your cheek. “The same could be said about you,” he responds. “Besides, people only like the idea of me. What would they say if they found out my room’s never clean and I cycle through the same two pairs of socks year-round?”

You wrinkle your nose. “God, remind me to buy you a pack of socks from the store next time I’m at the mall.”

He laughs, an unpleasant snort involuntarily escaping his nose. “I’m serious. They don’t like me. They like the illusion.”

You finally look at him, meeting his softened gaze and mellow smile. “And that doesn’t bother you?”

“No, not really,” he shrugs, but there is a minuscule halt in his voice that you don’t catch. “The only opinion that matters to me is yours.”

You’re convinced Seokmin and Minghao are saints.

(You would never admit this, though. They would never shut up if you did).

For the entire 40-minute car ride, they manage to keep the calm, filling the silence with anecdotes about people you have only heard about through irregular video calls, and arguments about who should be in control of the music. Eventually, they settle for handing the aux over to Mingyu, who meets your gaze through the rearview mirror before clicking on a familiar playlist and looking out the window.

After the first five songs, your face heats up as you remember bashfully making him a playlist back in high school. You settle into your spot, hoping the battered polyester of Seokmin’s car seats will swallow you whole.

When you agreed to tag along on their trip out of town and into the city, Minghao and Seokmin didn’t bother hiding their surprise, especially since they made it clear Mingyu was going to be in attendance. Seungkwan even offered to let you carpool with him, Vernon, and Chan, but you declined — you might as well suck it up, seeing as you and Mingyu are going to be in the same vicinity for the rest of the summer.

Still, you can’t help but regret your decisions as you squirm in the backseat behind Seokmin, who’s fiddling with the A/C, listening intently to a story Minghao’s telling about some scandal involving two classmates he’s never talked to before. You’re thankful for their nosiness, because it gives you some level of comfort and helps you ignore Mingyu’s fleeting glances from the passenger seat.

“The professor’s a hardass so everyone was convinced they were fucking,” Minghao says, leaning forward in his seat. “Turns out he was just her stepdad, who suffered from a chronic case of favouritism.”

Seokmin snorts. “Out of all the conclusions to jump to, that’s the one they picked?”

Minghao quirks an eyebrow. “You of all people should not be saying that.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

As Seokmin and Minghao begin to bicker for the nth time that evening, your gaze slides from the window to the Snoopy trinket hanging from the rearview mirror to the mirror itself, and you can’t find it in you to be surprised when you see Mingyu already looking at you. An unsaid question dances in his eyes, wary and timid.

Are you sure this is okay?

You gulp, worrying your lips between your teeth before shrugging. Yes, it’s fine.

He raises his eyebrow. This is the first time you’ve acknowledged him tonight.

Really?

You shrug again. Really.

And you leave it at that, turning again to look outside.

Seokmin takes fifteen minutes to find a decent parking spot, so when you finally enter the nightclub, you’re prepared for the scowl on Seungkwan’s face when he spots the four of you. He scolds Seokmin first and receives a flick to his forehead in response, which only angers him more. Before you can meet his wrath, you slip away, moving to enter the booth and letting Mingyu and Minghao get the brunt of Seungkwan’s rage and disappointment.

“Y/N!” Chan exclaims when you settle next to him, wrapping his arms around your torso to give you a brief hug before sliding you his unfinished pint of beer. “I haven’t talked to you in forever!”

When you take a sip of the alcohol, you try your best to hide your grimace when the lukewarm liquid hits your tongue. “I talked to you at the barbecue two days ago.”

“Well, I missed you. Sue me,” he throws his hands up in exasperation. Across from you, Vernon hides his amused smile behind his own pint. “You come home after, what, three years? Forgive me if I’ve become clingy.”

“Didn’t know you missed me so much.”

Vernon’s eyes are dripping with mirth. “He went broke from using all his coins at the fountain in town square,” he says, laughing when Chan shoots him daggers. “He went there whenever he was free and was wishing you’d come back—”

“He’s exaggerating,” Chan huffs. In retaliation to Vernon’s teasing, Chan takes his friend’s pint of beer and chugs it down until there is nothing left. “I only wished whenever Mingyu was home, he was so mopey, he would’ve been happier if you were here.”

You freeze.

“Okay,” Vernon interjects, pushing himself out of his seat to move all the empty glasses away from Chan, as if doing so will help the situation. He throws you an apologetic look, though it lacks his usual sincerity. “That’s enough for tonight.”

Chan whines. “But I wanted to do tequila shots with everyone.”

“Drink this first,” Vernon instructs.

Chan grumbles but accepts the glass of water Vernon gives him.

Before you can say something about Chan’s offhanded comment, the rest of your friends climb into the booth, and Vernon and Chan ease their way into their conversation as soon as everyone’s seated. You lean back, cowering behind Minghao and Chan’s frames as Seungkwan makes a joke you barely catch and Minghao repeats every story he told on the journey here.

You try your best to engage in the conversation, really, but it’s been so long since you’ve been with this group of people. As they discuss events you were never there for, snippets of a summer you weren’t part of, the awkwardness begins to build in your stomach, because it was never supposed to be like this, you were never supposed to feel left out.

If the person you were a few years ago saw you now, you know they’d be a little disappointed. Maybe they’d pity you, too.

The consequences, you suppose, of never coming home.

Sighing, you gesture for Minghao to slip out of the booth so you can get out. You say something about going to the bar to get another drink, and he nods, squeezing your shoulder — his silent way of telling you to stay safe — before letting you go.

You try your best to avoid any stumbling individuals, wrinkling your nose and murmuring apologies that get lost in the noise when you can’t avoid bumping into someone. With a glance over your shoulder, you make sure your friends aren’t paying any attention to you before making your way towards the exit.

It’s a warm evening, but it’s cooler than it is inside, and you relish in the temporary peace before you have to inevitably make your way back. They’ll notice if you’re gone too long, and they’ve always been easy to worry.

“Hey.”

A tall frame enters your periphery, clad in a loose white t-shirt and light-washed jeans, staring ahead at the passing cars. You ignore the way his face falls when you shuffle further to the side, away from him.

Your history aside, Kim Mingyu has always run hot. Before, you wouldn’t mind — before, you would’ve been clinging onto him — but time has passed, and you aren’t the same people you were back in high school.

A part of you misses it. There is something so comfortable about Mingyu that you can only describe in insignificant memories, like when he moves you to the side furthest from the road, or when he wraps his scarf around your neck because the cold is nipping at your nose, or when he buys mini versions of your skincare products to keep in his house for when you’re too tired to drive back home.

It's almost homely. Like a hug, maybe.

(You missed it a lot, at first, his aura. Whenever you needed it most, you’d lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling, and instead of sheep lulling you into slumber, it’s him. Way back when, he’d rub circles into your wrist to help you fall asleep, and you think of it then, because it used to bring you so much comfort).

(In your dreams, you murmur his name — Mingyu, Mingyu, Mingyu — like a prayer, like an incantation).

“I’m sorry.”

You jolt in surprise. Not at his voice, but at the apology. “Why?”

“You’re uncomfortable.”

“I’m not,” you protest with a frown. “I’m just… I couldn’t think of how to contribute to the conversation, that’s all.”

“Oh,” Mingyu says gently. He looks relieved. “So, you’re okay that I’m here?”

“Yeah, I mean, they’re your friends, too.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

A quiet moment passes, and you see the relief begin to crumble.

“Yeah, I don’t mind that you’re here,” you offer. The next sentence slips out before you can stop it, “I’m glad, actually.”

His eyes widen in surprise. “You are?”

You shift uncomfortably on your feet, wincing. “A little. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Before this month, you only saw him through Instagram, glimpses of his life that were curated to make his life seem special and happy and void of any worries. You only heard about him — the real him — when his name accidentally slipped out of your friends’ or your family’s mouths.

You can’t help but think that it wasn’t enough.

“How’s school?” he asks, subtly moving so he’s slightly facing you.

“It’s alright,” you answer. “Stressful, but that’s a given. My roommate got a boyfriend, though. He leaves his shit everywhere and he acts like he lives there.”

A soft chuckle leaves his lips. “Yeah, I know, Minghao told me.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “Oh? Why would he tell you that?”

“I asked,” he shrugs. You finally, really look at him now, and your confusion is evident. He seems unfazed by it, but you can see the crimson slowly climbing up his neck. “I ask about you sometimes.”

“Why?”

You know why, you think. What’s the point in asking when you already know the reason behind his actions and intentions? Your soul is intertwined with his, it has been for a while, but you can’t seem to accept it.

You still hurt.

Minghao’s right. Maybe the closure is needed.

“Because I care about you,” he confesses, trying his best to hide his yearning. “You were my best friend, and I want to know if you’re still doing okay.”

Your fingers shake, so you stuff them into the pockets of your sweater. “And what do they tell you when you ask?”

He hesitates, scanning your face while he plans his best course of action. The wounds haven’t closed, the stitches were poorly sewn, and blood spills out of the cuts he left like the damage he’s done is fresh.

“They tell me that I should ask you myself,” he says, “But sometimes they take pity on me, and they’ll tell me things you’ve told them. Like the roommate situation, or the barista who fucked up your order, or how you scored the highest on an exam— congratulations, by the way.”

You bite the inside of your cheek. “Thank you,” you reply meekly.

“It’s no problem,” he responds. Contemplation flickers across his face before he adds, rather reluctantly, “I’m proud of you, you know.”

You feel the same way you did when he first confessed, like an immature and blubbering teenager, full of hope and optimism and dreams of what could be.

“Mingyu—”

“I mean it,” he interrupts. “I’ve seen the stuff you’ve posted, and I should’ve congratulated you then, I know that, but—”

You give him a small smile. “Better late than never.”

He flashes you a grin, the same one you’d longed to see, the one you used to humiliate yourself for. You would’ve done anything to see him smile like that — a smile that isn’t put on just for show, but one that’s genuine and blinding. It’s something reserved for certain people, those who have seen through the illusion that was created for him, those who have seen it and still love him for who he is, despite his faults and imperfections.

He nods. “Better late than never.”

Despite your best efforts to squash your delight, your heart escapes your desperate grip, and it soars.

It’s cold.

The ground has frozen over, leaving jagged pieces of ice all over the concrete. The snow, previously a crisp white, has turned brown due to its contact with cars. The wind is cold, persistent, it refuses to let you forget about its existence with each gust.

On the other side of the parking lot, you see your friends whisper amongst themselves before one of them throws his hands up in exasperation and stomps over to his car, a beat-up vehicle with torn polyester seats and discarded bubblegum wrappers on the floor. He’s grumbling something under his breath as he settles into the driver’s seat and leaves without so much as a goodbye.

It’s cold, and something’s wrong.

Your eyes find Mingyu’s and your stomach sinks.

Something’s wrong, but you’re unsure whether you’ll find out what it is tonight.

“Hey,” you say once he’s in earshot. He stiffens at the sound of your voice. “Is Seokmin okay?”

“Yeah,” Mingyu says. “I’ll just apologize tomorrow morning.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing big.” He tightens the scarf around his neck and turns to walk towards his car. You follow, because with Mingyu you always do, and look at him over the roof as he digs in his pockets for his keys.

You clench your jaw, uncomfortable (when was the last time you’ve felt unpleasant around him? Things have started getting weirder since everyone started sending in their college applications). You wonder if you should push for answers, but you stop yourself before you can open your mouth. You’ve never done something like this before — Mingyu has always told you everything; secrets between the two of you are scarce.

He unlocks the doors. “Is it okay if we stop by the convenience store before I bring you home? I gotta buy some ramen for my sister.”

He looks tired. Maybe you can ask him about what happened another day.

“Yeah, sure.”

He nods in thanks and enters before another gust of wind hits — it’s harsher this time, as if it’s sending you a warning.

You really should’ve brought your own scarf.

When your family yells for you to open the door, the last thing you expect to see on the other side of it is Kim Mingyu.

Your ire is gone in a flash.

“Um…”

Mingyu winces. “Hi. Sorry, I— your brother called me, he said it was an emergency, and I was worried, so—”

“Mingyu!” your brother yells excitedly, running out of the kitchen before throwing his arms around Mingyu’s torso. “You’re here! Thank God, Y/N was ruining the cake—”

You scoff loudly. “What the fuck, Daeshim? You’re the one who put in salt instead of sugar—"

“Get in, get in!” Daeshim says cheerily, throwing you a glare. You narrow your eyes in return, ignoring how Mingyu’s hands brush against yours when he makes his way towards the kitchen after toeing off his shoes. Daeshim pokes you. “I’m telling Mom you swore.”

“What are you, five?”

Daeshim sticks his tongue out. “Add some money in the swear jar.”

“I hate you,” you deadpan. Your eyes flicker to the white sneakers neatly placed by the other footwear, worn from years of use. “Why did you ask him to come here?”

Your brother shrugs. “He usually stops by, anyway, to help for Mom’s birthday.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah,” he says sarcastically, gesturing for you to move so he can shut the front door. “Are you sure you guys broke up? Cause when you didn’t come home for the summer, he would still check up on us and stuff, and he’d always ask about you. It was so weird. It felt like I was a child of divorce.”

You smack him on the head. “Can you not say that about my relationship?”

“Well, it’s not a relationship anymore,” he quips.

You tense, crossing your arms so you don’t give Daeshim the delight of seeing your clenched fists. “You know what I meant.”

“If you don’t want to stay, then go. But he’s not going anywhere until Mom’s cake is done.”

“Why not? We were doing just fine without him.”

“Are you serious? You know he’s better at baking than you ever will be.”

“Okay, rude.”

“It’s true—”

“Uh, guys?” Both of your heads snap to wear Mingyu peeks around the corner, his amusement thinly veiled behind his distress. “Your kitchen’s a mess.”

Daeshim grins, pointing his finger at you. “Y/N’s fault!” he exclaims before heading to the kitchen.

You poke your cheek with your tongue in annoyance, watching your sibling nonchalantly disappear from your line of sight before you focus on Mingyu. He’s leaning against the wall now, hands shoved in his sweatpants and his head tilted to the side. He looks at you like he’s studying you, trying to find a sign of any kind that he needs to leave.

He must’ve found nothing because he stays.

You clear your throat, straightening your posture. “It was not my fault.”

His lips quirk up. “Oh, I’m sure.”

He disappears before you can retort.

(He’s always been good at that — leaving before you have a chance to fight).

When you finally join them in the kitchen, there’s a familiar baby pink apron around Mingyu’s neck, already splattered with cake batter as he whisks something in a steel bowl. Daeshim is crouched in front of the fridge, putting containers of leftovers on the floor in search of something. You kick his leg with your foot, throwing him off balance, and you both give each other matching scowls.

“Don’t put the Tupperware on the floor.”

He rolls his eyes but picks them up without argument, placing them on the empty counter by the fridge. You don’t understand why he couldn’t have done that in the first place, but Daeshim is notorious for making terrible decisions.

You don’t miss the way Mingyu’s eyes soften when he sees you. “You’re gonna help?”

“I came with the intention to supervise Daeshim and make sure he doesn’t accidentally set something on fire, but…” you shrug, “I could help, yeah.”

“Perfect,” Mingyu grins. “Can you get the baking pan?”

You do as he asks, handing it over to him over the kitchen island. “You’re gonna put it in the oven already? Daeshim was complaining about the batter so much he almost convinced me there was no saving it.”

Mingyu snorts as he cautiously pours the mixture into the pan. “He was just being overdramatic—”

Daeshim snaps from his spot near the fridge. “Are you guys just gonna talk about me as if I’m not here?”

“—it was only a little runny,” he assures, making sure not a drop of batter ends up on the floor or the countertop. Once he’s done, he brushes his hands on the apron and wipes his forehead with his arm. “Can you put it in the oven? You guys preheated it, right?”

You hum in confirmation, carefully placing the tin in the oven as Mingyu steps over Daeshim to try and get to the sink. You frown at your brother, who’s been scouring for something since you walked in. “What the hell are you even looking for?”

“Strawberry milk.”

“I drank it all.”

Daeshim huffs. “Of course you did.” He stands, slamming the fridge door with a dramatic flick of his wrist before hastily making his way out of the kitchen and towards the exit. “I’m gonna go to the convenience store to get some.”

“Wha— No, you have to help clean—”

“Can’t hear you!”

There’s a few more footsteps and the sound of Daeshim struggling to put his shoes on before the door inevitably slams shut.

You don’t let the shock of your brother’s irritating audacity bother you for too long. The way your fingers swipe through your phone to find his contact is lightning quick, but the first call is sent to voicemail and before you can even try his cell a second time, you find that you’re blocked.

Prick.

Mingyu’s humming catches your attention. You look up from your phone to find him with his back against the sink. “Voicemail?”

“Blocked.”

Mingyu snorts. “Of course.”

You send him an awkward smile before turning away so you don’t have to face him. You and Mingyu haven’t spoken since last week on that trip out of town; after the two of you slipped back inside, no words were exchanged except for an apprehensive goodnight when Seokmin dropped you off at home.

With friends as nosy as your own, privacy is hard to come by, but now, in their absence, there’s nothing more you want than a buffer. The tension’s become more palpable without a third party, and your palms are getting clammy at just the thought of searching for an excuse to kick Mingyu out of the house without hurting his feelings.

(Why do you care? He hurt you first, didn’t he?)

“Hey,” Mingyu calls out tentatively. “Do you want me to help clean up? It’s a mess in here.” When you don’t reply, he adds, “I don’t want you to do this all by yourself.”

You take a look at the kitchen around you and decide that you don’t want him to leave, either.

“Okay.”

Mingyu grins. “Okay.”

It doesn’t take long for the two of you to find a system that’s not messy or chaotic or involves stepping into the other’s path — you and Mingyu have always been like that, like a cohesive unit. The feeling that shoots through your veins at the realization that you still are is nothing short of euphoric.

Before you know it, the kitchen is clean. The surface sparkles as Mingyu swipes a finger at it to see if there’s anything he’s missed, looking up at you with fleeting disappointment.

You think he’s about to announce that it’s time for him to go, but he surprises you when what comes out of his mouth is a question instead.

“Can I ask you something?”

You press yourself against the counter, thankful for the kitchen island acting as a barrier between you both. “Sure.”

“If we…” he pauses. Regret already begins to fester in his skin, pulled down by the weight of his frown and the pinch in his eyebrows. “Uh, never mind.”

Your heart lurches in your ribcage. “Mingyu—”

“It’s fine,” he assures but his smile is tight, and his tone says otherwise, “I should probably head back. I’ll — uh — I’ll see you?”

You gnaw at your bottom lip. “Yeah,” you say, ignoring the way your heart begins to crack as Mingyu unties the apron and slips it over his head. “Yeah, I’ll see you.”

A worrying cloud has attached itself to you, nibbling on every last bit of your sanity like a parasite. Because something is wrong, you’re sure of it, even if everyone around you acts otherwise. Seokmin still laughs and makes bad jokes, Minghao still scolds you for not bundling up more when it’s so cold outside, and Mingyu still attracts attention and reaches for your hand and pokes your cheek whenever you’re not paying enough attention to him.

Everything is normal.

(But…)

“Does this look stupid?” Mingyu asks, staring at the banner he’s hung up.

Minghao grabs a macaroon from the table and rearranges the assortment, so it looks like he never laid a finger on it. “Yes.”

Mingyu huffs before turning to you. “Is it really?”

“It’s a little crooked,” you say, taking your eyes off him for a moment when Minghao presses the macaroon into your palm after making a face to suggest he doesn’t like it.

As Mingyu assesses the best way to fix the Happy Birthday! banner, Minghao starts poking at the pile of presents. You frown, kicking his ankle with your foot in an attempt to get him to stop. He only flicks your shoulder in response.

“Don’t touch those,” you hiss.

“I’m just trying to guess what other people got him,” Minghao retorts.

You deadpan, “You’re sizing up the competition.”

“Yes,” he confirms, “I need to make sure my present is better than all of these.”

“You got him a gift card to Party City. I didn’t even know they had those.”

“He can use it for Halloween!”

“Halloween is nine months away.”

“Oh, whatever,” Minghao grumbles. “Seungkwan will find some sort of use for it. All that matters is that my present isn’t the worst one.” He turns to you, jabbing a finger at your shoulder. “Hey, wait, what did you get him?”

You push his wrist as a scowl takes over your previous amused expression. “What’s it to you?”

“You’re a horrible gift-giver.”

“That’s not true!” you object, immediately turning to walk over to Mingyu, who’s staring at the banner in distress. “Gyu! I need to ask you something—”

“Nuh-uh, you can’t ask him, he’ll agree with you!”

You mockingly pout at Minghao before tugging Mingyu’s sleeve. “Hey, babe, question.”

Mingyu’s more than happy to have his attention on something else, letting his hands that were previously taping up the banner fall onto your shoulders. “What’s up?”

“I’m a good gift-giver, right?”

A moment passes. You scoff. Minghao cackles.

“Listen—”

“What the hell?”

“I love you and everything,” Mingyu begins, “but you really aren’t.”

“I hate you.”

“You don’t,” he says quickly. “You love me. Even though you gave me a terrible birthday present last year.”

“You said you liked that apron!”

Minghao pipes up, “There’s a reason why he leaves it at your house, Y/N.”

You gasp, pointing an accusing finger at your boyfriend’s chest. Before you have a chance to defend your honour, Seokmin comes barrelling into the rented community centre, carrying two boxes of used decorations.

“Hey, guys,” he exhales, out of breath, dropping the large containers on the floor with a relieved huff. “So, the guests are coming in, like, twenty minutes, and Chan’s getting Seungkwan here in forty-five, so that should give us enough time to finish decorating… Mingyu, I thought I told you to deal with the banner?”

“It’s not cooperating with me,” your boyfriend whines.

Seokmin rolls his eyes before stomping over to the wall to fix the banner himself. Mingyu follows, grabbing the tape on his way so he can help. They don’t talk, at least not at a volume that allows you to hear what they’re saying — it’s only heated whispers that are exchanged, and you catch a glimpse of Mingyu’s nervous expression before it disappears completely.

He looks over his shoulder and flashes you a smile and it’s the same one you’ve seen him give everyone else. It’s a mask.

This isn’t something you should be on the receiving end of.

You open your mouth to say something — to say what, exactly, you aren’t sure — but Minghao tugs at your wrists and holds up a packet of balloons.

“We should start doing something before Seokmin gets mad,” he says before dragging you out of Seokmin and Mingyu’s earshot.

It’ll be okay, you think. This will pass over and your friend group will still be as close as you can be once university comes and you and Mingyu pack your bags, leaving this small town behind.

(But your worries refuse to let go; they’ve seeped into your bones, and you think their weight may crush you until you’re broken beyond repair. But ignorance is bliss, isn’t it? That’s what you’ve always said to yourself. And you’ve never needed to worry about something like this, whatever it is, before).

Everything will be fine.

Everything will not be fine, and you aren’t sure why Minghao thought it would be, but he was unbelievably wrong.

A rainy day has caused a picnic in the park to turn into a board game night at Seokmin’s house, and a homicidal game of Monopoly (a skit between Chan and Seokmin had been the last straw before Minghao flipped the board over) quickly transformed into a homicidal game of Twister. Before you is a jungle of limbs, and you’re glad that you were fast enough to volunteer to spin the wheel so you wouldn’t be caught in the inevitable crossfire.

“Left hand, red.”

Chan’s complaints come immediately.

“Chan,” Seungkwan warns, “I will kill you if you try to push me off.”

“I haven’t even moved yet.”

Seungkwan mocks his words with a high-pitched tone that barely resembles Chan’s voice before Minghao scolds them to cut it out and hurry up. Chan scoffs indignantly before moving his hand to a free red circle, struggling to find his balance.

“Are you good?” you ask blankly.

“Fine,” he grits out, “Just go so it gets to my turn faster.”

“Go slower!” Vernon exclaims from beside you, the first to be eliminated with his phone in one hand and a handful of popcorn in the other.

“Fuck you, Vernon!”

You spin the wheel. “Hao, right foot, green.”

Minghao huffs, but his new position, although uncomfortable, has given him the perfect opportunity to sabotage Seokmin. Almost as if they can sense your thoughts, your friends look at each other, one mischievous and the other in warning, before Minghao fakes a move, successfully luring Seokmin into his trap when the latter flinches and flails like a fish out of water before landing on his side.

Seokmin groans, sitting up and rubbing his ribcage as everyone laughs. He looks to you, giving you those puppy-dog eyes that always manage to worm him out of any undesirable situation he’s ever found himself in, but you only shrug helplessly in response. Seokmin sighs, flicking Minghao’s forehead, before making he settles beside you in all his pouty, wronged glory.

“It’s okay,” Vernon says from your other side, phone speaker pressed against his ear as a video of what just occurred plays on the phone. The sound of Seokmin’s yelp of surprise from 30 seconds ago causes your lips to twitch upwards. “You’ll get them next time!”

Seokmin leans into your shoulder. “Y/N! He’s making fun of me!”

You pat him reassuringly. “You’ll survive, don’t worry.”

“Hey!” Seungkwan interrupts. “Spin the wheel! It’s my turn.”

“Okay, okay! Right foot, blue.”

Much to your surprise, the rest of the game goes by smoothly with Seungkwan as the victor. Chan is beside himself, grumbling with his arms crossed as Seungkwan mimics the fall that led to his demise. When Chan opens his mouth to snap back, Minghao reaches over Vernon’s lap for the remote to increase the volume of the TV.

Once their argument has died down, Chan suggests, “Does anyone want to play Cards Against Humanity?”

“Lame, absolutely not,” Seokmin replies instantly. “I’m hungry.”

Seungkwan makes himself comfortable on the armchair. “Pizza should be coming soon. Who ordered it, anyway?” Mingyu raises his hand. “What did you get?”

“One cheese, one pepperoni.”

Chan boos, making a comment about the mediocre order which Mingyu skillfully brushes off, immune to his friends’ instigations after years of receiving them.

Minghao pokes Mingyu with his foot. “Can you check to see what time it’ll get here?”

Mingyu unlocks his phone while Vernon begins complaining about having to register for classes first thing tomorrow morning. His whines are halted, however, when Mingyu sharply inhales a breath and clears his throat sheepishly.

You raise an eyebrow. Everyone in the room knows what that means.

“Oh, what did you do now?”

“Seungkwan! What makes you think I did something wrong?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

Mingyu shakes his head before turning his phone so the screen is facing all of you. The screen says the order’s been good to go for the past five minutes, but— “I accidentally ordered for pick-up, not delivery.”

Chan rolls his eyes. “Then go pick it up.”

“What?”

“Well, it says the order’s ready, right? Go pick it up.”

“But I’m so comfortable here.”

“And we’re hungry.”

“Why does it have to be me?”

“Whose fault is it that the pizza guy isn’t on Seokmin’s doorstep right now?”

Mingyu huffs, clearly having run out of retorts. He’s quick to admit defeat, pushing himself off the couch and adjusting the hoodie that’s ridden up his torso. You watch his every move, ignoring Minghao’s gaze.

Just as he begins searching for his car keys, Minghao pipes up, “You shouldn’t go alone, though.”

Mingyu frowns. “Huh? Why not?”

“Because you’re clumsy and you’ll drop something.”

“Can’t you guys put some faith in me—?”

“Y/N could go with you.”

Mingyu closes his mouth, trapping any more complaints behind his teeth. You stare at Minghao like a deer caught in headlights.

Vernon is the first to protest, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “I don’t—”

“Mingyu’s clumsy and he’ll drop something,” Minghao repeats impatiently. He shares a glance with Seokmin, who seems to understand Minghao’s intentions in milliseconds.

“Yeah, and we can’t let Y/N go by themselves because the last time they drove they ran over my mailbox.”

You squawk in protest. “That was when I was sixteen, I—”

“And I’ve feared you every time you’ve gotten behind a wheel ever since,” Seokmin says. He swiftly dodges Seungkwan’s questioning nudge and Chan’s panic, giving you the biggest smile he can muster before letting his eyes land back on Minghao.

Minghao looks at you, apologetic and stern all at once. “The ride will only be, like, ten minutes. Five minutes there and back,” he shrugs, turning away to face the TV. “You’re both adults, you’ll be fine.”

You think you might strangle them.

“Okay,” Mingyu says from behind you. You look at him, he stares back. “We’ll be okay. Right?”

He’s offering you one last final chance to back out. Your fingers twitch at your side before you gulp, nodding. “Yeah, we’ll be okay.”

You’re shoved out the door before you can even blink, wearing Seokmin’s old Crocs instead of the sneakers you had arrived with (“These are faster to put on, make haste, make haste! Get out of here, I want my pizza!”). You sink further and further into the passenger seat as Mingyu pulls out of the driveway, trying your best to focus on anything besides him.

But it proves to be impossible. The air freshener is the same as it was all those years ago, the same cheap dog bobblehead is on the dashboard, the pack of gum he’s left in the cupholder is the same one he used to buy in bulk at the supermarket. Nothing in here has changed, as if the vehicle is stuck in time, refusing to move forward despite all the years that have passed.

Mingyu must’ve noticed you staring at the gum because he picks it up and hands it to you in silent offering. You shake your head, and he puts it down.

The awkwardness might as well eat you whole.

The radio does nothing to ease the tension when the next song that plays is about heartbreak and being left behind while everyone moves on. Your sanity is hanging on by a thread that might snap if you’re in this car any longer.

In the corner of your eye, Mingyu opens his mouth to speak, but he decides against it when the pizza parlour comes into view. He swiftly parks by the front entrance, and once you get out, you notice that the car is centred perfectly between the lines.

You suppose he’s gotten better at driving over the years. The last time you were here, he’d parked so crookedly your stomach hurt from laughing.

“Hey,” Mingyu says, staring at you quizzically. “Are you good?”

“Yeah,” you murmur, slipping past him when he holds the door open for you. “Thanks.”

He walks up to the counter, saying his order number to the employee and nodding understandingly when she explains that one of the pizzas had been dropped on the floor and they’ve gone to remake the order. He returns to you — beside you, as if it has always been his rightful place — hands tucked into his pockets as he sways on the balls of his feet.

This must be some form of torture, you think. Minghao and Seokmin have done this in retaliation for every bad thing you’ve ever done to them.

(“Seokmin and I love you both,” Minghao confesses over the phone, face blurry due to your unpredictable wi-fi, “You know that, right?”

“I do.”

“And we really think you should talk to each other,” he says, and even though you’re not looking at your phone, you can tell he’s staring at you in that analytical way of his while you try to finish an assignment. “Maybe it’ll do you some good.”

You sigh. “Hao—”

“It’s been three months. Let him explain.”

“I did,” you hiss. “He was the one that left.”

Silence. You rub your temples.

When you finally look at Minghao, he’s remorseful. “Sorry,” he murmurs, flopping onto his bed and letting his camera pan up to the ceiling. You can no longer see his face, but you can hear the despair in his voice. “It’s just hard, being in the middle of this.”

“I’m not asking you to pick sides.”

“I know that,” he argues softly. “I just want everything to go back to normal.”)

You dig your nails into your skin as Mingyu begins humming to a song playing over the speakers. It’s one that they’ve been playing for years, a pop song that will have to be pried out of a radio host’s dead, cold hands.

It’s a song Mingyu despises.

(It’s so catchy, though, he used to tell you, ashamed. You need to save me from it).

When Daeshim had called you at the end of the semester, the first thing out of his lips was a question about your return. You had agreed with reluctance, and he said something about how long it’s been, how time heals all wounds, that nothing should hurt anymore.

But three years cannot erase a lifetime.

You foolishly thought it could. When you arrived, you pretended you didn’t see an old photo of him taped on your closet door. When you first saw him at the supermarket, you ignored the way his hand twitched to reach over to you. When he talked to you outside of that nightclub, you evaded the familiarity of his warmth like it was a virus.

You foolishly thought it was enough. You built a wall of indifference around yourself, but it had begun to chip away just as quickly as you constructed it. It was never foolproof. It was never made of stone, but of cards.

One glance from Mingyu and it all comes tumbling down.

“Minghao told me a few days ago that you wanted to talk,” Mingyu says once the song has ended.

“Yeah.”

“But you don’t want to.”

“Not yet, no.”

“Well,” he says, taking a step towards the counter when the employee calls out his order number, “whenever you’re ready to, I’m here.”

“Something’s wrong.”

He understands what you mean. You’re not referring to the TV that won’t play the movie or the takeout that tastes a little off. You look at him nervously, afraid to break the flimsy spell of calm he’s enchanted on everything he touches.

“Yeah,” he replies, gripping the armrest tightly.

You blink at him, waiting for something he won’t offer. For a moment, he thinks you might push, but you have never been one to do so; you have always believed that doing something like that only throws you down a road of hurt.

So, he shouldn’t be surprised when you eventually nod in defeat.

“Well,” you say with a smile reserved for strangers you can only pretend to care about, “if you need to talk about it, I’m here.”

Four friends occupy a small corner of the skatepark. One of them is on the ramps, appearing in the air to do a trick before disappearing from sight. Another is rolling down the concrete, hands stretched out to maintain balance.

Two sit in the shade, watching.

“Do you think they’ll talk soon?” one of them asks, a taller boy with light brown hair and a beauty mark near the apple of his cheek.

The other, dressed in all black despite the sweltering heat, runs a hand through his mullet. “I don’t know, Seokmin. Probably. Hopefully.”

“Do you think they’re mad at us for forcing them to get the pizza?”

“Yes.”

Seokmin snorts, but his amusement is short-lived. He continues to observe his friends as they stray further and further from each other. He catches the way they glance over their shoulders in concern.

“They’re stupid, aren’t they, Minghao?” he finally says. The boy beside him hums in agreement. “Were they always like this in high school?”

“I don’t think so,” Minghao replies. “If they were, I don’t know how I managed to survive.”

“You’re dramatic.”

“Hypocrite.”

Seokmin sticks his tongue out. Then, quietly, as if the other two friends will hear, he says, “Well, they need to hurry up and talk. I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” he grumbles. “Maybe if I just told Y/N about it sooner, or pushed Mingyu—”

“Probably,” Minghao interrupts before Seokmin can concoct any more what-ifs from his brain. His stomach churns at the numerous possibilities he will never see. “But there’s nothing we can do it about it now.”

“Maybe things would be better if we did things differently.”

“Yeah, but the past is the past. Besides,” he sighs, watching one friend trip on his way towards them and the other struggle to stop themselves on the board, “this isn’t our problem to fix. I don’t think it ever was. We’ll just leave it to them.”

“You really think they’ll work it out?”

“God. I really hope so. It would put all of us out of our misery.”

Spring has long since bled into winter when you find yourself at the skatepark, wearing a sweater that was never yours with your heart dangling from its sleeve. It’s chilly at this hour of the morning when the world is quiet and your denial is prominent, and it gets even colder when your name falls from Mingyu’s lips and his touch is uncharacteristically icy against your skin.

You rip your wrist from his grasp and hurt flashes across his face before he takes a step back.

“I—” he gulps, “you shouldn’t run out like that.”

He purses his lips, and you notice how chapped they’ve gotten over the past few days. Everything about him has roughened up — it goes farther than his dry hands and the unruly state of his hair; he’s grown distant. He looks at you with a mixture of emotions you can’t explain, his words have are clipped, and you aren’t sure how long this behaviour would’ve gone on for if you hadn’t caught him signing up for classes at a university he never told you he was going to attend.

“You lied to me.”

He exhales shakily. “I know. I’m sorry, I—” he rubs a hand over his face because he doesn’t know what to say. Mingyu isn’t like this. People would kill to own even a sliver of his charisma; it’s so easy for him to talk himself out of things, but the words have died in his mouth before they even reached the tip of his tongue.

“You—You should’ve told me,” you stammer. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Mingyu has never felt this moronic before, standing before you and stretching his hand in your direction only to watch how, every time without fail, you take a step back as if any contact from him will result in third-degree burns.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, “But you were already so worried about all of us growing apart after graduation, and I didn’t want to add onto that stress. So I kept putting it off, and I shouldn’t have, I know that, I just—” his face falls, “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

It takes everything in him not to flinch when your anger flares. Your resolve is rotting away to dissolve into the morning air; he thinks, offhandedly, that the molecules of your decaying calm have collided once again and found purchase over his head. A cloud to loom over him, made up of your melancholy and his guilt.

“You didn’t want to hurt me,” you say incredulously, in a tone so hurt that Mingyu’s heart drops. “Well, look where we are now, Mingyu.”

He doesn’t like the position he’s put the both of you in. He doesn’t like how this conversation is tainting every happy memory he ever had at this skatepark. He wonders if he’ll see your hurt expression every time he closes his eyes.

This could’ve been avoided, he’s aware of that. Seokmin made sure to voice his disapproval every time they crossed paths, Minghao’s veil of indifference was slowly crumbling with each passing day, and Seungkwan — who made the mistake of being around when Mingyu let it slip that his post-graduation plans didn’t match yours — grew more nervous than all of them combined.

For as long as he can remember, everyone he knows has never done well with secrets. He’s always been a firm believer that they’re parasitic, the reason behind every downfall he’s ever had the displeasure of witnessing. But that was before he had a secret worth keeping.

(It does not matter if it’s worth it or not. At the end of the day, he was right all along. They are infectious, deadly little things).

Soon after he was born, it was common belief amongst townsfolk that he would change the world. It did not matter how; they would support him regardless. He thinks his entire being may as well have been made from diamonds with how he was created to be the star of something he never asked to be part of.

It’s exhausting.

The university you two had chosen at fifteen-years-old was perfect for you. When you took the virtual tours and exchanged messages with its students, you looked like you had stepped right out of a fairy tale. But it was two hours away from this town, so far yet so close to the very thing that’s been draining him of energy, and he quickly came to realize last summer that your dream school was the last thing he wanted.

But you would’ve followed him anywhere. If it weren’t for his, Minghao, and Seokmin’s insistence, you would’ve chosen to stay at home, because you never liked the idea of leaving everything behind.

That’s where you and he differ.

And he couldn’t take that from you.

Because you and him were always believed to be cut from the same cloth — model students, the perfect fit — but everything he touched tarnished and everything you touched turned to gold dust. He’s hidden behind an illusion all his life, but he knows for a fact that you’re meant to go above and beyond every expectation that’s ever been set for you.

Who is he to get in the way of that?

(He’s sure the only thing that’s setting you back is him. It has always been him. It’s only a matter of time before you realize it, too).

“I love you,” he confesses suddenly, startling you to your core. “And I’m so sorry.”

You look at him warily. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I fucked up,” he says.

“Yeah, you did.”

“But…” he trails off. When your eyes meet, something ignites inside of you.

(You have always known him better than any of them ever could).

“Mingyu—”

“Maybe it’s for the best if we—”

“Mingyu.”

He closes his eyes and hopes it’s enough to push the tears back. “I love you,” he says again, but his lips are quivering, and a sob threatens to escape the confines of his throat. “I love you so much that it physically hurt to do that to you, but it was for the better—”

Disbelief engulfs you in an instant, and you take a spontaneous step towards him in your surprise. “You’re not making a lot of sense right now,” you say, frantic, “I’m still really fucking mad at you, but we can talk this out, because I have no idea what you’re—”

“Just listen to me, Y/N, I don’t think—”

“You listen to me, because—”

“You deserve so much better than this, don’t you know that?” he snaps, shrinking into himself seconds later. His voice shakes with frustration. This hurts him beyond your imagination, but he’d do anything for you, even if it ends with him sporting wounds that will never heal. “And I’m holding you back, and I— I can’t do that to you. Not anymore.”

A sob melts into your words before you can stop it. “So you think the best way to fix that is to move across the country?”

“There were better ways to go about it,” he admits. “Ways that wouldn’t have ended like this, but I stand by what I said, Y/N.”

“Don’t do this, Mingyu. You don’t get to—” you stutter, inhaling hastily to regain your composure before looking him through your teary vision, “—you don’t get to break up with me over something as stupid as this.”

“I don’t deserve you,” he says it like a mantra, like it’s engraved into his brain and there’s no use trying to rid him of it.

“You don’t get to decide that!” you exclaim. “And even if that was true, it doesn’t matter to me. We love each other, Mingyu, isn’t that enough?”

You go to cup his face. This time, it’s he who takes a step back, and his heart screeches in pain at the sight of your crestfallen face.

“Maybe if I—” he runs a hand through his hair and tugs at the strands, forcing himself to continue, “Maybe if I loved you less, I’d let myself be selfish. But that’s not the case. That’s never been the case.”

That day you do not leave the skatepark with a scrape on your knee or a new bruise on your shins. But you don’t leave unscathed, either.

Your heart has been ripped from your chest, and Kim Mingyu carries the remnants of it with him.

Mingyu always liked people-watching.

He’d tell you it was nice to be on the other side of the microscope; to observe, not be observed. On the trips out of town, he’d sit anywhere that was bustling with people and make up stories about anyone who caught his eye: he’s cheating on his wife with his high school sweetheart, or she’s talking to her estranged cousin and she’s threatening to get a restraining order, or that little boy was meant to be a twin but he ate his sibling in the womb.

“That guy’s still in love with his ex-girlfriend even though they broke up a decade ago,” Mingyu says, subtly nodding towards a man supervising his child on the ramps.

The snort that escapes you dents the discomfort hanging in the air. “He reached out to her on Facebook, and it turns out she’s coming to visit.”

“They’re going to meet in the city. He told his wife he has work stuff.”

“His wife’s suspicious. She’s definitely hiring a PI.”

“But the PI sucks, he’s a fake and a scammer. He ends up tailing the wrong guy.”

“And the wife spent good money on him, too.”

“But she doesn’t really care since she paid the investigator using her husband’s money.”

“Good for her! It’s what he deserves for cheating.”

You smile, pressing your legs against your chest as you watch the kid soar through the park on her rollerskates. Her laughter’s loud, and you allow it to ring in your ears to momentarily distract yourself from Mingyu.

It’s overwhelming being here next to him. You’ve been here multiple times since you’ve come home, but the nostalgia and ache of watching him from afar does not compare to what you feel now that he’s by your side, sitting stiff on the park bench with his hands clasped in his lap. The dull throb in your chest becomes more prominent when he glances and catches your eye, hiding his yearning beneath a thin veil of indifference.

You turn away, and that’s enough for him to adorn the last bit of confidence he has. “Why’d you call me here?”

Resting your cheek against your knee, you murmur, “You know why I called you here.”

It does not matter that he’s known you almost as long as you’ve been alive — a room full of newborns would realize that he’s here because you want an explanation.

Closure really would be nice.

“Okay,” he breathes. “Ask me anything.”

When you slipped out of your house this morning, full of anticipation, you thought that it’d be hard for you to find the words. But you’ve stuffed the curiosity down your throat long enough. For years, all you could feel was a weight on your esophagus; the air you’ve been inhaling and expelling is nothing if not tainted with heartbreak, and you crave the feeling of fresh air again — something that’s free from the insecurities and the anguish and everything in between.

“Back then, did you tell Minghao we fought?” you ask. “Because he seems to think that we did. Every time he called me that’s all he would ask. Have you and Mingyu stopped fighting?”

He tilts his head. “Would you not say that was a fight?”

“Well, no,” you reply. “You just ended it, and I was trying to get you not to.”

Mingyu flinches but he’s quick to recover. “Nothing could’ve changed my mind back then.”

“Why?” you demand, unable to hide your despair.

Mingyu finally looks at you without tearing his gaze away. He’s exhausted, and you aren’t sure if it’s because of how early it is or if he’s just as drained from all of this as you are. The limbo between forgiveness and disdain was never made for the weak.

“Listen, I—”

“You told me you didn’t deserve me,” you say, “You don’t get to decide that.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, “I thought I could’ve been enough for you — I tried to be. But you always had everything planned out and I didn’t, I was living with a façade and you weren’t, and I— I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

Clenching your jaw, you say, “So, you moved.”

“I loved you,” he says quickly before you have the chance to ask him otherwise. “That was never the problem. I was scared. I guess part of me wanted to let go while you still thought I was worth it.”

“Don’t say that, Mingyu.”

“I know, I know,” he replies. “I’m working on the self-worth. It’s hard to come by.”

It hits you then, like you’re standing in the ocean as a large wave of water looms over your figure. You used to watch as everyone fawned over Mingyu as if he was untouchable, a divinity amongst men. You used to watch and lust for the days where you would turn out to be exactly the person he deserved to love.

But while Mingyu ached to be the person everyone made him out to be, you saw past your own desires and those who desired him. Through all that was carefully crafted, you saw him for who he truly was.

And you loved every inch of him. So much so that you’re convinced you’ll never be able to feel this way for anybody else.

“For what it’s worth,” you say, “back then, you were it for me. I would’ve loved you regardless.”

His gaze softens and, for a moment, sitting next to you is the same boy from all those years ago, who accepted your proposal for a date, who asked you to prom, who tattooed eight letters into your skin before slumber took you over.

“If we…” he begins carefully, “If I did things differently, do you think we could’ve made it?”

You shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’d like to think that we would’ve,” you nudge his shoulder in hopes that being playful will lighten the mood. “But none of that matters. We’re here now, and we talked.”

“We talked,” he nods. “We used to be terrible at that.”

“Not the best at communication, sure,” you smile softly. “But at least we fixed it. Better late than never.”

He bites the inside of his cheek to stop his own smile from growing any larger. “Better late than never.”

The sun envelopes you in a warm hug the moment you sit down, a companion in the serene summer’s day. Sand sticks to your skin, adhered to it by the sweat, clinging to you as if you’re its last hope to live.

The tranquility is interrupted by a screech, and you bet with closed eyes that it’s either Mingyu, who left a while back to get some ice cream and probably dropped it, or Chan, who decided to build a sandcastle close to the ocean despite the various protests he received in response.

You crack an eye open just as the water retreats from the shore. Chan stands before his unfinished monstrosity, staring in distress, while Vernon gives him a look as if to say I told you so.

From where he lies beside you, Seokmin announces, “If it makes you feel any better, it was a little ugly.”

“You said five minutes ago that it was good!”

“I was lying to you.”

“Yeah,” Seungkwan agrees, toeing the area where the castle once resided. “The moat was fucked up, too.”

“It was a moat.”

“And yet you fucked it up.”

Chan gives them an unsavoury gesture before instructing both Vernon and Seungkwan to help him make another. Reluctant but compliant, they take the pails you’d bought last minute at the dollar store and settle themselves farther away from the shore.

Seokmin salutes them for good luck before glancing at his phone. “Is Mingyu still at the boardwalk?"

Minghao hums. “Yeah, the line for ice cream’s probably long.”

“Okay, good,” Seokmin says before poking your shoulder aggressively, ignoring your complaints about how easily you bruise. “Gives me time to interrogate you.”

“Interrogate me?” you ask incredulously. “About what?”

He raises his hand, and you prepare yourself for the worst. It’s over for you the moment Seokmin begins listing things off his fingers. “You willingly sat in the backseat with Mingyu on the way here, you willingly talked to him for the entire car ride, and you willingly offered to go with him to get ice cream.”

“Hardly things to interrogate me over.”

“Hardly things to interrogate me over,” he mimics. “Don’t be ridiculous. Are you guys dating again?”

“What?”

“Ah. Have you two eloped?”

Minghao snorts as he opens the cap to his sunscreen. “Don’t be ridiculous. They’re just engaged.”

Seokmin places a hand on his chest. “Oh, thank goodness—”

“Are you guys insane?” you shriek, briefly scanning the beach in hopes nobody heard your friends’ remarks. “We just talked yesterday.”

“Oh,” Minghao muses, throwing the sunscreen over your head for Seokmin to catch. “And that’s it?”

“That’s it,” you confirm. “What else would there be?”

Minghao shrugs as he rubs the cream onto his arms. “Nothing, I guess.”

A noise escapes Seokmin’s throat, something akin to disagreement. You whip your head to face him as he raises his hands up in defence. “What is it?” you ask him.

“I just…” he waves his hand in the air with a small pout on his lips. “I’m confused, I guess. Everything’s resolved now? Just like that? We’re all friends again?”

“I wouldn’t say we’re friends,” you huff. “I don’t know what we are, either. But we have the rest of the summer to figure that out, so why the rush?”

Seokmin leans back on his elbows. “Well, whatever the two of you are, I’m glad you two talked, it was long overdue.”

Minghao nods in agreement.

From a few feet away, Seungkwan’s voice is loud amongst the waves crashing onto shore, the families relaxing under beach umbrellas, and the seagulls soaring through the sky. “Mingyu!” he exclaims in disbelief. “You didn’t drop any!”

You can’t catch a good glimpse of him without craning your neck, but his voice alone is enough to quicken your heartbeat. “Yeah, I know,” you hear him say, “I told you guys I’m not completely hopeless. Seven Drumsticks, all in perfect condition. Vernon, did you want the original flavour?”

It only takes a couple moments before he’s in your line of sight, standing in front of you with the sun’s blinding rays crowning his head like a halo. He grins, letting his sunglasses slip down his nose so you can see his eyes, and hands you a cone.

“Thanks,” you say.

His grin widens, just a little. “Don’t mention it. Hao, which one do you want?”

Once everyone’s finished their ice cream (and after a long debate that occurred due to Chan innocently asking for advice on what to do about his roommates back at his on-campus apartment), Seungkwan manages to find a beach volleyball court that’s unoccupied and persuades everyone to participate.

One set to ten points turns into the best out of three, and when your team begins to buckle under the pressure, Seungkwan suggests something with a sinister grin. “Losing team has to get buried under the sand and stay there for fifteen minutes.”

“Ten,” Seokmin negotiates.

“Twelve.”

“Five.”

Seungkwan squints. “You can’t go lower, that’s not how a negotiation works.”

“One person from the losing team gets buried under the sand for ten minutes and has to pay for dinner,” Chan says.

Seungkwan snaps his fingers before pointing to him. “Deal.”

It all ends, as expected, with Seungkwan’s team victorious. The three boys on the other side of the net exchange high-fives before returning to you and your sullen teammates with cocky grins. Minghao urges all of you to play a game of rock, paper, scissors to decide the true loser of today, and though you feigned indifference when you fumbled the last ball, the mask speedily cracks when the last two people left is you and Mingyu.

(“A duel between lovers,” Chan sighs dramatically. Minghao pinches his side).

Your eyes meet his, and something flickers in his expression. Gone too quick for you to decipher, but something in the back of your mind tells you that you should know exactly what he’s about to do.

Seokmin booms, “Rock, paper, scissors!”

You ball your hand into a fist and Mingyu curls his fingers into his palm except for two.

“Scissors beats rock,” Vernon slaps him on the back sympathetically before pointing at the ground. “Get comfortable, dude.”

With the amount of eagerness your friends exhibit, Mingyu is buried in minutes, stiff under the copious warm dust he’s under. Seokmin, with sand sticking to his hands, ruffles Mingyu’s hair and laughs when the latter crinkles his nose in disgust. Taking his sunglasses from his bag, you place them on the bridge of nose and brush off anything that got on his face.

“Thank you,” he says.

“Don’t mention it,” you echo. “I’m sure you’ll have fun here.”

He kisses his teeth in annoyance. “Oh, I bet. Once I get out of here, I’m gonna have tan lines on my collarbone.”

You smile. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can stay here with you.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Really?”

“You’re here for ten minutes by yourself and the reason we lost is because of me,” you say, wincing at the memory of Seokmin and Chan shouting for you to retrieve the ball despite it being too far away for you to save. “It’s the least I could do.”

“Maybe,” he murmurs. “Since I let you win rock, paper, scissors.”

You blink at him. “I’m sorry?”

“You always choose rock.”

“What? Then why’d you choose scissors?”

Mingyu attempts to shrug and scowls when he can’t.

You flick his forehead. “You didn’t have to do that for me.”

“I wanted to.”

“Of course,” you snicker. “And how are you finding it underneath all that sand?”

He doesn’t even bother to pretend to be nonchalant. “Oh, it’s the worst. It’s slightly better with you here, though.”

You turn to look at the sea. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”

“Why not?” he pouts. “I thought we were going to tell each other stuff from now on. You know, communicate better.”

“Well, still.”

“I’m just saying what I’m thinking!”

“You’re ridiculous.”

He laughs, loud and boisterous and it heals something in your very being. There’s a mirth in his eyes you haven’t seen in a long time, and you yearn to hear it again. Mingyu has always been beautiful, but he’s even more so when he’s happy, a boy so golden he could rival the sun and the stars in its beauty.

And he would win, you think.

(What you don’t know is that Mingyu thinks the same of you. Many things have changed, but one thing that never will is how much you shine. The sky and all its confidants, try as they might, would never rid you of your luster. To him, they’ll never prevail).

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you question.

He smiles. “No reason.”

Considering the fact that you spent a good part of your childhood running around the mall and giving into the urge of buying things you’ll never need, it’s a surprise that you forgot just how busy it gets during the summer.

(“Wow,” Mingyu had said. “You avoid me and this town for three years and suddenly you forget everything about it?”)

(He, along with everyone you’ve grown up with, will never let you live this down).

It’s a miracle the four of you even found somewhere to sit in the food court — a booth, no less. Part of you wonders if Seokmin sweet-talked a family into giving up this table for him, and you feel only a sliver of pity for whoever has to eat in an area that’s affected by the vibrant rays of the sun.

Once Minghao and Seokmin have returned from buying their food, they send you and Mingyu off to get your lunch with the promise that they’ll wait for you both before they start eating. Mingyu walks ahead, careful not to trip over anyone as he observes the signs of each food joint you pass, and glances over his shoulder to make sure you haven’t gotten lost in the crowd amid his indecision.

“What are you getting?” he asks once the two of you can hear each other above the many mallgoers.

“Don’t know. Pad Thai, maybe.”

“Nice. I was thinking getting a burger at Burger King, but…” he gestures towards the long line and winces. “I don’t have the patience for that.”

“So?”

“So, what?”

“What are you going to eat then?”

“Oh,” Mingyu frowns before shrugging nonchalantly. “Pad Thai it is, then. I think that has the shortest line.”

“Really? When we passed by KFC it didn’t look too bad—”

Mingyu turns, pointing to the Thai place across from you. “Pad Thai! Let’s go before the line gets any longer,” he proclaims, wrapping a hand around your elbow and gently tugging you towards the smell of stir-fry.

It’s easy to fall back into rhythm with Mingyu — so much so that it scares you, just a little. While you assumed it wouldn’t have been too weird once the barrier of the old relationship was removed, you hadn’t thought it would’ve been this comfortable. You assumed everything would be stilted for a short period before the puzzle pieces returned to their places, but this was unpredictable. This is familiar (everything with Mingyu always is); more familiar than riding a bike, or the scar on your knee, or your mom’s tendency to hover over you now that you’ve returned.

His skin against yours all while offering to lend you his jacket and pay for your food could be seen as simple acts of friendship — and if it were anybody else, you would agree, but your ties with each other, since the beginning of time, have regularly toed the line of romantic. It is a fact you cannot deny, and trying to do so would be like saying the sky is green or oxygen isn’t a requirement for survival.

The void in your chest used to be in the shape of him — freshly eighteen and brought down by his expectations along with everybody else’s — and you have tried other remedies to heal it: avoidance, sinking into other people’s sheets, tossing every physical memory you have of him in a box that you never ended up donating.

Who knew that the void would be filled by the same boy who caused it? Only this time, he’s standing in front of you, a little taller, sporting a different haircut, and learning how to live on his own terms.

“Fuck,” he says as he digs through his wallet. “I think I don’t have any cash to pay with. Man, I really didn’t want to use my credit card today.”

“It’s fine,” you say. “I’ll pay. You already gave me your jacket even though I said you didn’t have to.”

“You were cold,” he argues. “If you didn’t want me to give it to you, then maybe don’t get cold next time.”

You scoff. “Well, tell whoever’s managing the A/C to turn it down. It’s like stepping into a freezer in here.”

Mingyu mutters — something along the lines of so dramatic — before he shifts the position of his open wallet in his hands and continues digging for bills that aren’t there. What is there, however, is a photo all too familiar.

You place a hand on his wrist to stop him from moving. “Hey, is that a picture of me?”

Mingyu freezes. Then, he pulls away from your grip. “No.”

“Okay. Then who was it?”

You stare at each other for a beat too long, interrupted by someone asking if you can move up the line, and it’s only then that Mingyu turns away, bashful, and murmuring, “Okay, fine. It’s you.”

You try not to let the giddiness get to you. “And why, exactly, do you have a picture of me in there?”

“It’s not just you,” he lies. “Minghao and Seokmin are also in there.”

“No, I don’t think so,” you reply matter-of-factly. “I got a good glimpse, and I think it was just me.”

He tuts. “Believe what you want to believe.”

“I’m choosing to believe the truth.”

He sulks, taking another step towards the register. “You’re finding this too funny for my liking.”

“I’m not! I think it’s cute,” you object. “Why is it in there in the first place?”

“Maybe I just wanted to put it in there, it’s a good photo!”

“Of course.”

“You’re photogenic,” he adds. “Besides, what’s wrong with keeping a photo of my friend in my wallet?”

The question escapes you before you can think twice. “Is that what we are?”

Mingyu quietens, uncertain. Then, after rapidly fighting an internal battle, he says, “Before everything else, you’re my best friend.”

You nod because that’s the case for you, too. “But?”

His digs his teeth into his bottom lip before he opens his mouth, the answer on the tip of his tongue.

“I—”

“Next, please!”

Mingyu flinches, but it only takes a glance at the long line behind him before he’s grabbing his credit card. “C’mon,” he interlocks his pinky with yours. “Order what you want, it’s on me.”

“Mingyu—”

He gives you a smile. “It’s fine,” he assures quietly. “I want to.”

(In his wallet is a candid polaroid — a person on the beach, laughing at a joke made by someone who hasn’t been photographed. The picture has no crinkles, either because it’s deeply cherished or because it’s new — maybe both is the case.

It replaces an older photo, one that’s years old, taken while he was in high school of the same person. Still candid, still radiant, still laughing. He’s treasured it for years, but he decides it’s time to relocate it. Maybe when he gets back to his apartment, he’ll put it on his fridge. It was looking a little empty, anyway).

Mingyu doesn’t particularly like it here. It brings up old feelings he’s working to retire as well as a medley of insecurities and unease.

But he would be lying if he said that the bad was the only thing this town has to offer.

The skatepark brings comfort, a corner of the world where freedom comes from touching the sky in the seconds his board lifts from the ground, a playground of cement and ramps and splintered benches found under trees that have been alive far longer than he has. It comes from his friends’ homes; Seungkwan’s spacious backyard and Seokmin’s living room where drink rings litter the coffee table as a consequence of never using the coasters.

It comes from the people. It comes from his family, who hugs him tight and listens to every concern he has under the sun. It comes from his friends, a group of rambunctious people who he has too many inside jokes with, and who drag him into shenanigans he has no option of backing out of.

It comes from you. Comfort always comes from you.

From where he stands in the corner, he watches you scour the karaoke song book, protesting all of Chan’s suggestions before entering a number onto the TV. Then you squint at the lyrics on the screen before you begin singing.

The others in the living room are in awe, captivated despite your inability to hold a note. Your gleeful smile makes up for what you lack in the singing department, and Mingyu supposes he’s no different than everybody else when you meet his eyes in the crowd and his palms begin to sweat. You hold his gaze for far too long, causing you to lose your spot in the song, and you sheepishly turn away before trying to make up for your mistakes.

He stays until the end, the loudest to clap despite your score being nothing exciting (it’s exciting to him, and that’s all that matters), and raises his hand in greeting with a silent promise to see you later when you’re pulled into a conversation with someone you used to play badminton with.

He ducks into the kitchen before he’s forced to engage in more small talk with another person. His footsteps quicken along with his growing desire to grab another beer, hidden behind the soda cans Seungkwan shoved inside for the party.

(Mingyu doesn’t entirely know what or who this party is for. He only recalls the texts between him and Minghao three days prior:

hao 👨‍🎨 > party at seungkwan’s on saturday

mingyu > not coming

hao 👨‍🎨 > 😐 ok ur loss > y/n is tho

mingyu > … i’ll bring my mom’s brownies).

Mingyu opens the can the moment it’s in his hands, relishing in the temporary sound of fizzing before taking a sip. The only straggler in the kitchen is him; everyone gathered in the living room the moment Seungkwan turned the karaoke machine on. He situates himself so he can see just through the threshold, keeping an eye out for the moment you’re free so he can pull you aside to talk.

About what, he doesn’t know. Winging it has always been his thing.

“Yo, Mingyu,” Seokmin greets as he makes his way to the fridge. “What are you doing in here?”

“Hiding.”

“It’s nice to know some things haven’t changed,” Seokmin quips, digging through the variety of drinks, “you’re still a loser.”

“You love me.”

“Oh, of course, that was never in question. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re a loser.”

Mingyu rolls his eyes. “I hate you.”

“Uh-huh.”

“What are you looking for?”

“Sprite for me, beer for Vernon.” He stands to his full height and cranes his neck to look at Mingyu around the fridge door. “Was that the last of it?”

“I think so, yeah.”

Seokmin doesn’t look that defeated when he grabs two cans of Sprite. “Maybe that’s for the best. He’s drunk enough as it is.” Off Mingyu’s confusion, Seokmin adds, “I know, he never gets wasted, but he’s on the waitlist for a screenwriting class, so he’s upset beyond repair.”

“And he’s always saying everyone else is more dramatic than he is.”

“Right? He’s only second on the waitlist, too.”

Mingyu laughs but his eyes involuntarily flicker back to the door to see if you’re still talking to other people. He frowns when he notices you’ve disappeared from where he spotted you last, and he debates taking out his phone and texting you to ask where you are.

Seokmin kisses his teeth. “Are you sure you want to stay in here by yourself? Y/N probably wants to talk to you.”

“They’re talking to other people. I’m fine waiting it out.”

Seokmin looks like he’s going to oppose Mingyu’s decisions, but he opts for shrugging instead. “Alright, if you say so. Don’t wait too long, though.”

“I won’t,” Mingyu promises. Seokmin begins his trek back to the living room, one soda dangling from each hand, when Mingyu suddenly calls out, “Hey, wait.”

Seokmin falters awkwardly in his step before turning around with furrowed eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“I, uh,” Mingyu rubs his neck, wincing. “I don’t think I ever apologized.”

The confusion on Seokmin’s face is wiped away to be replaced with triumph. He points an accusatory finger at his friend while his voice echoes in the four walls of the Boo kitchen. “I knew it! You did steal my beanie, you liar, the next time I visit you, I’m taking it back, and it better be in good condition! I can’t believe you took it with you across the country, that’s so fucked up—”

“Huh? No, what?” Mingyu says in disbelief. “For the last time, I didn’t steal your beanie—”

“Okay, sure, then who was it, then?”

“I don’t know!”

“Then what are you apologizing for?”

“For not listening to you!” Mingyu exclaims. “Back then, you told me to tell Y/N the truth and I didn’t listen when I should have. If I did, you and Hao wouldn’t have been put in the middle of everything.”

“Oh,” Seokmin makes a face and waves him off. “Don’t worry about it.”

“But—”

“You made a mistake. A stupid one, yeah, and I’m probably never going to let you live it down, but,” he smiles gently, “we’re okay now. Just focus on what you’ll do about… you know.”

“…What?”

“You know,” Seokmin parrots. “Y/N. I mean, you still love them, don’t you?”

Without hesitation, Mingyu responds, “Well, no fucking shit.”

Seokmin makes a noise of satisfaction before turning on his heel. Over his shoulder, he singsongs, “Don’t fuck anything up!”

Mingyu scoffs. “I won’t!”

With each passing minute, the night gets livelier, and Mingyu ends up re-entering the living room and talking to other people despite his internal insistence not to. It keeps him busy, momentarily distracting him from the way his heartrate spikes at the thought of speaking to you tonight.

In the middle of his conversation with a former basketball teammate, a microphone ends up in his hands, and before he can blink, he’s pushed in front of the TV. It takes him a moment too long before he realizes that he’s been forced to sing a duet with you.

(Behind the couch, Minghao snorts at Seokmin’s devilish grin.

“I thought I told you to stay out of it.”

“I am!” Seokmin says, “I’m only giving them a slight push in the right direction!”)

The timer begins counting down.

Five.

“Just so you know,” you begin, “Seungkwan and Chan are going after us. We have to score as high as possible.”

Four.

“I don’t think we can manage that, to be honest.”

Three.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re great at singing, so you can make up for how bad I am.”

Two.

“I don’t—”

One.

“Believe in yourself, Mingyu.”

You bring the microphone up to your lips and begin to sing, and he can only follow your movements.

It takes an unfathomable amount of willpower to stop himself from staring at you for the song’s entirety. He clenches his fist as he recites the lyrics, but when it gets to the bridge and it’s your turn to take the reins, Mingyu lets his guard down, his hand falling limply to his side as you laugh through your part.

He has never been an expert in love — few of the decisions he’s made in the name of it have seldom ended well — and when he was younger, the only thing he ever knew regarding it was you. Before, he thought that wouldn’t have been enough, that in order to be the person you deserved, he had to know more.

However, he’s older now, and things change with time.

You glance at him and the butterfly in his stomach rapidly flaps its wings.

(Other things don’t).

He doesn’t even know the song’s ended until arms wrap around his neck. He stumbles backwards before he forces himself to find his footing so he can properly return your excited hug. Mingyu pays no mind to the score flashing onscreen, nor the claps coming from everyone else; all he can smell is your shampoo, he feels your breath on his skin, and that is much more important than a karaoke score ever will be.

Seungkwan says, “That’s not even a good score.”

You loosen your grip around Mingyu so you can look at Seungkwan, and he immediately yearns for more. “Be quiet, this is the best I’ve gotten all night,” you retort. You turn to face Mingyu again, shaking him by the shoulders. “We did good! I told you to believe in yourself!”

Before he can reply, you’re pulled apart by Chan, who’s itching to take his turn. He rips the mics from his and your hands, and you slip from Mingyu’s fingers once again when Vernon asks you if you can help him look for another can of beer.

He exhales in defeat, accepts Chan shooing him away with grace, and slips outside.

He leans over the porch railing, staring at the watercolour sky, a mixture of pink and orange and yellow.

Mingyu hangs his head, wondering just how many more times you’ll get whisked away before he even has a chance to utter a word. He prefers smaller gatherings, because at least then he’d be able to talk to you with ease.

He’s not quite sure how many more times he’ll be able to stand by and watch you go before he loses his mind.

Behind him, the door slides open, and he assumes it’s Seokmin telling him to get a move on. But the footsteps sound different than his friend’s, and he immediately perks up when a familiar scent reaches his nose.

“Hey.”

Your frame enters his periphery, your university jacket hanging on your shoulders with the sleeves covering your hands.

Mingyu straightens. “Hi.”

You settle beside him, shoulder to shoulder, and Mingyu immediately relaxes. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he says, “what makes you think I’m not?”

“You’ve been hiding from everyone since the night began,” you answer. “You don’t wanna be here, huh?”

“Of course I want to be here.” You raise an eyebrow at his lie. “Okay, fine, I don’t really want to be here.”

“Then why’d you come?”

“…I thought it would’ve been fun.”

“Really?” you snort. “Do you even know what this party is for?”

“Well… no.”

He expects you to roll your eyes, but instead you sigh in relief. “Okay, that makes me feel better, because I don’t either.”

“Well, I only came because Minghao told me you’d be coming,” he confesses.

You tilt your head in confusion. “I only came because Seokmin told me you’d be coming.”

He furrows his eyebrows and spares a glance through the glass doors at his friends. “…Huh.”

You huff, following his gaze. “I swear they always have their nose in our business.”

Mingyu looks back at you. “You have to admit, though, they’re pretty good at luring us into parties we don’t want to attend,” he smirks good-naturedly. “Who knew you still had a soft spot for me?”

Turning away from him, flustered, you grumble, “Shut up, don’t act like you didn’t come here because you wanted to see me.”

“I’m not!” he proclaims. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I make it pretty obvious that I like seeing you.”

“You’re so cheesy.”

“Only for you.”

You lightly punch his arm when the laughs that escape his lips grow louder. “I thought I told you that you can’t just say stuff like that.”

“Why not?” he hums. “I mean what I say, Y/N.”

“I’m not saying you don’t, it’s just…” you place your arms on the railing, leaning forward to avoid eye contact, “It’s confusing, that’s all.”

Mingyu faces you while you face away, watches how you stare at the setting sun instead of him, and his heart clenches. When you went your separate ways, he craved to be near you again, but even next to him, you still feel so far away.

(In hindsight, maybe he should’ve planned out how to go about this beforehand).

“You used to say stuff like that all the time,” you explain. “You know, before, uh—”

“Yeah,” he murmurs.

A million scenarios flash through his mind; different results depending on what he says next. He’s typically so good at saying the right thing — his words got him out of trouble and charmed his neighbours — but he’s found that his voice fails him whenever he needs it the most. When he tried to muster the courage to tell you about everything, he was never able to, and he gave into the false reassurances his mind offered that all would be alright in the end.

But none of that matters, you had said. We’re here now.

“You know what I never understood?” you ask.

“What?”

“You don’t like it here. Not a lot, anyway,” you start, “so why did you keep coming back?”

“Well, my family’s here, you know. So are our friends,” he gulps. “And I thought you would be, too.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” He nudges your elbow. “Can I ask you something?”

You chance a glance at him. “Sure, yeah.”

“What you said the other day,” he murmurs, unblinking, “about how I would’ve been it for you, has that changed?”

“Why are you asking?”

He bites the inside of his cheek as his cheeks begin to redden. “Do you really need me to say it?”

You frown. “Say what—?”

“I love you,” he blurts out. “And I know that might be kind of weird, since a lot’s changed since we last saw each other, but that’s the one thing I haven’t been able to shake. Not that— not that I ever wanted to— I just… I think it’s a part of me. Like I was born with it.”

You look at him, eyes glassy, unable to speak.

“But y’know what’s weirder?” he adds. “I’m pretty sure I’ll never get sick of it.”

It’s his turn to face away, turning towards the sun as you stare at the side of his face. The silence drenches the backyard like sudden, thunderous rainfall. For him, it’s unwelcome, and his eardrums echo with his confession.

He tries his best to hide his lovesickness, but the intensity of his longing prevents him from doing so. For the entire summer — perhaps for years, really — he’s been pushing it all down. He’s tired of it all. Of hiding, of pretending, of brushing off his esurient desire for you.

“It’s not weird,” you say, finally, saving him from his misery.

“Sorry?”

“You said it’s weird that you still love me,” you muse. “But I don’t think it is. It wouldn’t be fair of me to.”

His lips part. “What do you—?”

“Of course you’re it for me, Mingyu,” you tell him frustratedly. “You have been since the beginning of time. I don’t want you to go a day without believing it. I know what it’s like to live with you and to live without you, and I really prefer the first option.”

Mingyu’s pretty sure his brain short-circuits.

With quick movements, he inches closer to you, eyes flickering down to your lips before he asks, “Really?”

“What do you mean, really? Why would I—?”

“Can I kiss you?” he interrupts, slowly moving his hands closer to your face. “Please?”

He’s sure the longing in your eyes is wild enough to rival his.

(What an odd turn of events, is it not? Despite being on opposite sides of the country, you used to believe there weren’t enough miles between you and Mingyu for you to heal properly. But now, with his lips hovering over yours, you’re beginning to think that he is not close enough).

You take his face into your hands, and you kiss him.

Mingyu stumbles, surprised by your fervor, but matches it with ease. His hands move from your face to your waist, pulling you flush against him as he moves to have his back against the railing. Your fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck, and he surprises himself with a moan at just how much he’s missed it — your hands pulling at his locks, his lips against yours.

He used to pray for this.

When you pull away to catch your breath, he chases you, too dazed to acknowledge your amused mien. You go to peck his lips to soothe him, but he makes sure to hold you against him, his hunger far from satiated.

He stops himself for a moment, breath hot on your skin. “Do you wanna get out of here?”

You smile against his mouth. “I think that’s the best idea you’ve had all night.”

“I feel like you’ve been faking it.”

“I have not.”

“You definitely have. Skateboarding isn’t that hard.”

Mingyu throws his arm around you in defence. “Hey, give them a break, Minghao.”

“Yeah!” Seokmin pipes up, “Y/N was just terrible at it because they can’t balance at all.”

“You know,” you grunt, crossing your arms, “I thought you guys would be proud of me for finally managing to skate across the park without actually falling.”

“I’m proud of you,” Mingyu says, pecking the side of your head. “And I think that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, I can always count on you having my back,” you say, leaning further into him and pointedly glaring at the other two boys in front of you.

Seokmin waves you off. “Hey, I think this might be the first time ever you didn’t get injured at the skatepark.”

You go to protest before frowning. “…I think you’re right, actually. That’s so weird.”

Minghao snorts. “Maybe we should teach you some tricks then.”

You glance at Mingyu, and he seems to really be considering it. “Oh, absolutely not. Are you trying to kill me?”

“I’ll teach you the easy ones!” Mingyu begins, standing in front of you so he’s all you see. He places his hands on your shoulders and squeezes them in reassurance. “You’re already a pro at just skating around, so this should be a piece of cake!”

“Mingyu,” you whine.

“Please,” he matches your tone. “I like teaching you stuff! It’ll be fun!” he lets go of your shoulders and rolls the board so it’s by your feet and offers you his hand as if you’ll need help getting on. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Your wariness is squashed the moment he flashes you a soothing smile.

You sigh. “You promise?”

He crosses his heart. “With everything that I have.”

Without a second thought, you place your hand in his.

He squeezes it immediately in a silent vow:

I’ll be here to catch you if you fall.

© dkfile, 2023. do not translate or copy my works.

[waterfrontcomplex]

yanqing abundance + origin thoughts/theory

so, i was doing whatever and a thought came to me (story spoilers also there's a lot of text)

i took a look around the loufu and realized something; all of the people had essentially every hair color except blonde. the only exceptions are people not native to the loufu, such as luocha.

yk. the one who happens to be ON THE PATH OF ABUNDANCE

and who else has blonde hair?

YANQING.

yanqing's origins are relatively unknown, all we know is that jing yuan found him somewhere and decided to take him in for whatever reason. in yanqing's character story, it says that it's recorded in the military annals of the cloud knights how jing yuan discovered him, but not where.

yanqing mentions in his character introduction how he was RAISED BY THE GENERAL SINCE BIRTH which... like. what. ok thats actually crazy bc either

1) jing yuan took him from his parents when he was like a day old or something

2) he was given to jing yuan (although, this is unlikely considering it was mentioned jing yuan 'discovered' him)

3) jing yuan lied for whatever reason (to protect him)

4) jing yuan indeed found him when he was born, possibly from a fruit of the ambrosial arbor

in the pic above, yanqing says 'but as you know, children aren't grown on trees." is this foreshadowing? or just straight up dropping a hint that his 'birth' was not a natural one?

the ambrosial arbor was inactive for approx. 2579 years before the sedition of imbibitor lunae. after that, the seals on the arbor were weakened. i haven't exactly worked out the specifics yet, but since bailu was created around 700~ years before canon and is still a little kid, and dan heng was presumably an adult/teen when exiled, my guess is that if yanqing has the lifespan/growth rate of a xianzhou native, he would've been born sometime in between den heng's hatching and bailu's hatching, a little closer towards bailu's. but what could've happened during that time? please hear me out the next part is kinda crazy

my guess is that during the tampering of the transmutation arcanum to revive baiheng (and presumably to allow other species to become vidyadhara, although the wiki gave no source... i'll trust it for now), dan feng and yingxing fucked up and created yanqing in a fruit of the arbor, while during the transmutation arcanum ritual, bc dan feng previously fucked with it, it failed and created bailu (and separated his powers between dan heng and bailu)

now, this seems... really out there. how the fuck would yanqing and bailu, a presumably xianzhou native/humanoid and a vidyadhara, be created from the remains of a foxian? i'll start with yanqing. it was stated that after baiheng's death, only a few drops of blood and a tuft of her hair remained. dan feng and yingxing created yanqing in a fruit of the arbor (like some sort of hatching rebirth... but a fruit) using either the blood or hair (most likely blood) of baiheng. it was a somewhat failed attempt at reviving baiheng. yes, it created life from her remains, but it was not her (think how dan heng ≠ dan feng, and also how vidyadhara can be different genders than their previous incarnation). during the time he was in the fruit, it dyed his hair and eyes blonde/gold, and also created the ring around yanqing's eyes (his is unique, the other characters' eye rings if they have them are a lighter color while his is dark, yes ik silver wolf has it too but her's is different).

before bailu's hatching and after subduing jingliu, jing yuan eventually came across the fruit yanqing was being held in, or found him wandering about, probably recognized the blonde/gold as the effects of the abundance, and took him in because dude he's not going to kill a literal baby (even if he could). he knew it would be dangerous to give him to a regular family, so he took him in and trained him himself

for more info abt yanqing's connection to the vidyadhara, i suggest checking out this post by astralexpressarchives.

although he is not baiheng, he did take on aspects of baiheng's personality, such as her free will and even laughing/giggling while in battle. he also enjoys flying (although with his swords and not starskiffs) and even has eyelashes similar to her's. and, just like her, yanqing's missions would often be dangerous, but he would come out relatively unscathed.

now, about bailu. dan heng says she was created after dan feng's ritual failed. if you take a look at bailu, she strongly resembles baiheng, and even starts with the same 'bai'.

same hair, same eyes, similar eyelashes, she even has a similar eye ring to yanqing. there's not too much to say here. while yanqing got baiheng's personality and fighting spirit, bailu got her appearance. now, why did this happen? im thinking its because of dan feng's meddling with the transmutation arcanum. because of that, yanqing was born, but it was 'incomplete'. so while yanqing got one part of baiheng, bailu got the other. yanqing was made on purpose, while bailu was somewhat of an accident. maybe some of baiheng's 'life' from yanqing's creation was still there when bailu was created? idk

the funny thing is, their paths are like... the complete opposite. yanqing follows the hunt (although he was born of the abundance) and bailu follows the abundance (although she was presumably supposed to follow the destruction or hunt).

theory tldr; dan feng and yingxing fucked up and created yanqing and bailu out of baiheng's remains

this is a yanqing post, time to get back to yanqing. hooray! i took a closer look at yanqing's outfit, and noticed numerous leaf/plant symbols.

...which are closely associated with the abundance. especially the gold leaves.

this further solidifies my belief that yanqing has something to do with the abundance.

jesus christ that is. a wall of text. pls tell me ur thoughts on this whole thing, i took like 2 1/2 hours to write it and its 2:40 am so sorry if it doesn't make sense i just need to put these thoughts somewhere

[lilysbookshelf987]

New camper: Percy Jackson x reader (daughter of apollo)

A/n: thank you so much for giving this a read! This is my first time writing for the PJO universe so let me know if you like it! Requests are open! No NSFW or Smut! Enjoy

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Good morning" Percy said tiredly, greeting his best friend Grover at the dining pavilion, taking a seat next to him.

"Morning" Grover replied, "hey did you see Annabeth on your way here? She's usually the first one here and I haven't seen her yet"

As if almost on cue she was walking towards the boys, an excited smirk painted across her face.

"Camp Half-Blood has a new camper!"

"What?!" replied Percy

"She showed up late last night, all alone. Chiron told me she had been hurt pretty badly but he took her into the infirmary and gave her some Ambrosia"

"She took it? So, she's definitely a half-blood?" Percy asked

"Yep! We should be meeting her later today" Annabeth was ecstatic, she loved new campers!

--time skip--

As the day went on there was still no sight of the new camper. Word had made its way around camp and people began to take their guesses as to who was her parent.

"I hope she's in our cabin!" A child of Aphrodite had said

"No! I bet she HAS to be in ours! Showing up without a Satyr by her side means she's a warrior"an Ares kid chimed

"As long as she's not in ours I dont care" a tired looking Hermes kid said.

It was almost dinner time when Chiron had found Percy, sparring with someone from the Ares cabin.

"Percy can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Yeah sure" he said, removing his helmet and recapping his sword.

"Im sure you've heard we've had a new camper join us."

"Yeah it's all over camp" he replied

"Ah yes. Well let's say she hasn't been thrilled to learn about her new family. Reminds me a lot of you when you first came here"

Percy thought back to his first few days at camp. He was confused, scared, angry, and very much overwhelmed.

"I was wondering if you could help ease her mind by speaking to her. You understand what she's feeling better than I can."

"And im not half horse" Percy smiled

"Yes there is that" Chiron chuckled

"Alright I want to meet her!" Percy agreed. He really did want to help, but he also knew how jealous Annabeth would be that he met her first. The two walked into the big house and there she was, staring down at her feet.

"Y/N, this is Percy, son of Poseidon. Percy this is Y/N. I'm sure you two will get long swimmingly" Chiron chuckled at his own joke, "I will give you two some privacy" with that, he left the room. Leaving the two teenagers alone.

An awkward silence filled the room, when finally Y/N broke the silence.

"Son of Poseidon, huh?" she asked

"That's me" he smiled, proud of the title he held.

"That's crazy, the gods don't exist!"

"They do exist. I know it all feels a bit insane at first but-"

"A bit?! My whole life i've had these things coming after me and I didn't understand why. I thought I was insane and seeing things, but apparently that's normal?! And my dad? The reason he's neglected me my whole life was because he was a god?! There's just no way"

"Hey, it's gonna be ok. I know how you feel. I felt like that when I first got here. All my life my dad wasn't someone I had thought about much because I had my mom, and thats all I needed. Then I find out that he's now the most important thing in my life? I had so many emotions, but if you just give this place a chance? I promise everything gets a lot less scary"

This seem to get to the girl. She started to tear up.

"Ok, i'll try." she whispered

"I'll show you around and it'll all be ok, I promise."

The two made their way around camp, Y/N was mostly silent. "The sun is so warm here, it's not like that where I'm from"

"Everything is a little bit stronger here."

"I can tell" she smiled

"So, do you have any idea who your dad might be?" Percy asked, careful not to poke at the sensitive subject.

"I think but I'm not sure. My mom used to talk about Apollo, a way she never did about other Gods"

"Ok then...then we have to find a way for him to see you! If he see's you, he'll claim you!"

"Yeah but how?"

"Gods dont claim you because they feel like it, you have to work for it" Annabeth said, inviting herself to the conversation.

"Y/N this is Annabeth, daughter of Athena"

"Hey" Y/n said

"Percy have you taken her to the archery field? Apollo kids thrive there"

"No I didn't"

"Seaweed brain c'mon!" Annabeth rolled her eyes, "Lets go" she led the two there and put a bow and arrow in Y/N's hands. The girl had fired it easily and hit the bullseye.

"Beginners luck?" y/n asked

"Go again" Chiron said, but before she could something came flying down at her, she shot it down easily.

"That could've killed us" Percy said, mouth agape, "and you shot it down with ease!" he said

"Look!" One of the campers said

Y/N was becoming engulfed in a bright light and a sun appeared over her head. She was now an official resident of cabin 7

[lover-girl-estxx]

The Girl

TW: Negan, TWD stuff thats it really

Angst, a bit of fluff | part 1

*not my gif*

I sat in the same spot in the dark day after day, I came to that no one was ever going to come for me and i'm never going to leave this cell.

When the door opened I looked up to see who I have learned is Dwight and a man I have never seen before, in nothing head down and fresh bandages on his body after my eyes adjusted to the light "go!" Dwight yelled to the man. He walked into the cell and the door shut again. He curled into a ball in the corner. He must have been freezing "here..." I said softly having not heard my own voice in awhile, pushing my blanket over to him with my foot. He could have been anyone, he could kill me with his bare hands or other things.. "they always have it cold in here.." still nothing "do you have a name" I asked moving around on my hard 'bed' I made on the floor with the pillow and sleeping bag they gave me "don't want t'talk.." the raspy voice said from across the room "okay...".

Before this I was with my brother his wife and two kids, but we got separated along the road. Never saw him again. My brother is a big guy I thought he may be able to get me out but he never did and I think i'll always wonder if he ever even tried

The door opened again I shield my eyes, "this is for her" Dwight said throwing a plate on the floor then slammed the door. "I had breakfast and lunch you can have it" I say "not hungry..." "I know you are" "just leave me alone" "okay fine" I whispered. I moved around in my bed then closed my eyes when a song started playing so sound I thought my eardrums were going to burst, I put the pillow over my ears.

Next morning the door opened but it wasn't Dwight it was a man I only knew by Negan holding a plate. He set it on the floor "why's this still here" he asked grabbing the plate from last night"I wasn't hungry" I shrugged "your really fuckin' ungreatfull" he slapped my face "since your not hungry I guess you won't eat" he took both plate's leaving the room. held my face wiping the blood from my lip I brought my knees to my chest "you okay?" the man rasped "i'm fine" I said holding back tears "how long have you been here?" he added "I don't know" "were you with people?" "I got lost from my brother and his family like two month bef-" the music blasts.

I moved closer to him, he grabbed the blanket covering himself "sorry," I said "I haven't talked in a while" "it's okay" "then I came here it was wife or this... I chose this" I shrugged "I had a brother Merle" "Abraham" he looked at me "what'd he look like?" "um a big red head with bad face hair," I chuckled "do you have people?" "yeah a lot" I door opened to Negan real Negan "theres my girl," he said "come on don't make me come and get you" I stood and walked to the door.

"has that new cellmate told you any?" he asked sitting across from me "no" I whispered "I bushed two of his man with my lucille here" I rubbed my arms.

| Daryl's POV |

When she came back she sniffled and pretty much ran to her corner of the cell. They slammed the door not before throwing clothes at me, I quickly put them on then waited for the song the never came all I could hear was the girl crying "did he hurt you?"I whispered "you know what he did you were there" I bit my nail thinking on if I should do what I wanted to. I moved next to her wrapped an arm around her she wrapped both arms around me crying into my chest "it's um-it's okay" she held me tighter.

[lorre-verie]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE your avatar modern a-z list and ur neteyam series! I was wondering if you took requests by any chance? like could you do something with aonung with fem reader maybe enemies to lovers? sorry if u dont!

no way, tysm for this! I haven't even put out anything specific saying ill do requests and the fact that you wanted to see more of my writing means so much to me 💚 tysm anon for giving me this chance, i hope it won't disappoint you! There was no specification so I hope me taking creative liberty with this was okay!

: ̗̀➛ “I hate you.” “Love you too.”

word count and approx. reading time: 2.5k words, 8 minutes?

pairings: ao’nung x fem! omaticayan! reader

notes: - reader is neteyam’s twin sister - when someone says something in english it’ll be in italics but not all italic dialogue is english it may just be for emphasising the word - I’m pretty sure the na’vi have their own curse words maybe - I tried to make it seem like you (the reader) is talking to..well..an audience, in the beginning. but i realised thats also you. so to seperate it, the indented text at the start is you talking to yourself.

warnings: kissing, literally making out, teasing, a lot of cussing at the start, neteyam being a protective brother (not a warning ik)

Meeting someone that is so stupidly annoying, so much that you want to kill them on the inside, is common. Its alright. No biggie. Happens to all of us.

But if the same person makes you feel all giddy inside with their stupid smile and their stupid face and their stupid hands on your shoulder and their stupid mouth, so giddy that you want to shut them up by kissing them, then you’re gonna wanna sit down for this, cause it happened to me, too. 

“Ao’nung, I swear on Eywa if you don’t actually help me with this right now I will pull out your hair and send my ikran after you, you piece of shit!” you practically shriek at him after being stranded by the ilu. 

It had been a month since you and your family first landed in Awa’atlu and started training with the metkayina.

After mastering your breathing, the next step of training consisted of the metkayina helping you and your siblings learn how to ride the creatures, but Ao’nung was being uncooperative as usual.

He didn’t adjust any part of your riding position, insisting that you were going to be fine and that your posture was already “perfect.”, to which you gave him a suspicious glare. And stupidly, you trsusted him. That ended up with you being stranded in the middle of the blue ocean, being practically blown away by the water, ilu leaving you in the dust. 

He laughed, his ilu gliding across the water with him on its back, going in your direction. “That was hilarious. You didn’t actually believe me when I said you were going to be fine, did you?” he chuckled, eyes silently judging your messed up and sopping wet hair. 

You glared at him, exhaling deeply. “You’re such an annoying bitch, you know that?” you mumbled under your breath, saying the word in english so he wouldn’t understand. He had been messing with you for weeks now, always laughing at you if you’d messed something up and never actually being helpful.

As you swam forward, water level at your shoulders, to get onto the back of his ilu, he extended his hand, offering to help you up. Hesitantly, you took it. Once your hand near his, he reached forward and grabbed your forearm, pulling you up and leaning down into your face. 

“You know, for such a pretty face you have such a foul mouth.” he muttered with his deep voice, amused eyes searching your face for a reaction. He really didn’t know exactly what the word meant, but he definitely had a guess.

You were shocked, your hand held high up in the air. He was so strong that his grip on your wrist lifted up the rest of your body, yet it didn’t hurt you at all. Your waist was still submerged in the water,

Your eyes narrowed into slits, he thought he could get the best of you? Even though you were suspended in midair you still came up with a comeback. “Wish I could say the same.” you whispered in mock pity, bottom lip jutting out in a small pout. 

He rolled his eyes with an entertained smirk, lowering you back in the water. “Please, you wish you had my beautiful face.” he said as you mounted the back of his ilu, sitting directly behind him. You were about to respond with another insult when the ilu suddenly dove under the water, and quickly you shut your mouth and took a deep breath in so you wouldn’t pass out. 

It was all so sudden that you didn’t even realise what you just did; wrapped your arms around his abdomen, clutching it for dear life to avoid being thrown off the ilu for a second time. Once you came to your senses, however, you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away. 

Partly because you were just shocked, but also because you could feel his abs. Damn. He certainly was well built for his age, you thought to yourself before snapping out of your momentary daze. You quickly repositioned your hands to hold his shoulders instead, wanting to slap yourself in the face for the thought you just had. 

Sure, you had had a few...maybe romantic thoughts about Ao'nung, especially the first time you two met. He stalked up through the crowd with such confidence and assurance in himself that he caught your attention immediately, but your little love at first sight moment was quickly crushed when he and his friend Rotxo started making fun of your brother's tails, right in front of you.

He was strong, tall, confident, and the Olo'eyktan's eldest son. The whole package. Who wouldn’t like a guy like that? For you, it was much easier to resist, because he was a complete and total asshole to you and your family.

You were pretty sure he had the biggest, stupidest grin on his face right then and there because you knew that he knew that you could feel his muscles. He moved his left arm, placing a hand behind your thigh to secure your position on the ilu as he made a sharp turn around a rock in the water. You were going to have a seizure at this point.

Being Neteyam’s younger twin sister had its perks and definitely its downfalls; your older brother refusing to let you date anyone and side eyeing the hell out of any guy that dared to approach you. 

“Hey, it’s not like you’re going to mate with any of them now! You have the rest of your life for that!” he always said in defense whenever you would get mad at him for scaring a little crush away. 

Granted, he was definitely right. Little kid love wouldn’t have suited you and you probably would have broken up with your boyfriend in a week because you were bored. But then at least you would have gotten used to male attention that wasn’t your family. Well, except for that one time, but that was so long ago you had already forgotten the feeling. 

You felt blood rush to your cheeks at his touch, stomach doing backflips. You took a hand off his shoulder to pinch his on your thigh, a silent warning since you couldn’t speak underwater, causing his hand to jut away and return to holding the rein at the front of the ilu. 

It wasn’t like this was his first time touching you, he’d placed his hand on your shoulder and flickered your forehead, sure. But this time felt different. It was more gentle. More caring. But you hated him. And he hated you. At least that's what you thought.

Your mind wandered to when you were lying in a shallow pool of water with Kiri, chatting away about how Awa'atlu had been for you both so far. "So, how's your little crush?" she smirked, twisting and playing with one of her little braids dangling over her face.

"Crush? I don't have a crush, Kiri." you rolled your eyes. "Are you kidding me??? What about that douchebag Ao'nung?" she stopped playing with her braid, eyes widened. She wasn't mocking you, she actually thought you had a crush on him.

"Ew. Barf. Why would I ever like him? I have taste, sister." you scoffed, pretending that you weren't considering it inside your head. He infuriated you, made you to want to slap the stupid cheshire grin that was constantly on his face.

But when he did keep his mouth shut, you couldn't help but admire his strength. And his better than average face. "I'm too good for him." you said, snapping out of your little daze thinking about him. Kiri raised her eyebrows in amusement, but you didn't notice.

At the end of the day, your family and Tonowari’s gathered for dinner, having a friendly chat about how things have been going lately. Your mother was doing well in Tsahìk training with Ronal, and your father had mastered riding a skimwing. Your ilu training was taken over by Tsireya who was MUCH more helpful than Ao’nung was, and everyone had made good progress. 

But the real elephant in the room? Lo’ak and Tsireya sitting in front of each other, always making shy eye contact as they ate, her giggling sometimes when she saw his ears turn purple. 

You felt sick to your stomach seeing the interaction. Ronal and your dad didn’t seem to notice, but Tonowari and your mom definitely did. Neytiri hid her smirk by continuing to eat, and Tonowari had a big smile on his face finding that his daughter had found someone (Toruk Makto’s second eldest son, no less!)

Ao’nung wasn’t there to witness this, cause apparently his dad sent him off to do some errands and he was running late. You shared a strained look with your sister Kiri, who made a fake throwing up expression. Neteyam and Tuk honestly couldn’t care less.

When Ao’nung finally arrived, he took the empty seat on Neteyam’s right; in front of you, even though there were 2 other vacant mats he could have sat on. Kiri broke the half amused half disgusted and half oblivious silence, with a “Lo’ak, please stop staring at Tsireya like that I’m literally about to projectile vomit all over the floor.” 

“Kiri, shut up!” he groaned, avoiding Tsireya’s gaze in embarrassment. “Yeah, it’s getting weird and I’m losing my appetite.” you commented, stating the truth but teasing your brother at the same time. By this point, both pairs of parents + Tuk decided to ignore you guys' conversation and talked about their own things. 

“You’re just jealous you never had anyone that liked you!” Lo’ak accused you, you gasping in fake hurt. “Well that’s not true.” Kiri said, shoving her mouth with more food. Your eyes widened, your head turned to look to your right, directly at your sister. Neteyam looked up at this. 

“Oh– right– uhm forget I said anything.” she played it off, temporarily forgetting that you both kept that a secret from your brothers. “Hey no nonononono, I wanna hear more about this guy!” Lo’ak said, eyes flickering between you and Kiri. Ao’nung and Neteyam were also listening intently. 

“I don’t think that’s really necessary.” you said nervously, looking at Neteyam whose eyes narrowed. “No. You will tell me.” your older brother spoke, as you gave him a pleading look. “You know you have to tell him sooner or later.” Kiri rolled her eyes as you slapped her arm. 

“Okay! Fine!” you sighed, an exasperated expression on your face. “It was Viawli! He confessed to me with some flowers and then we dated for a while. Behind Neteyam’s back.” you finished, burying your hands in your face. 

“Honestly you should’ve listened to how annoying she was when they dated. Oh Kiri he’s so sweet he got me flowers- Oh Kiri, he's so funny, Kiri he’s so handsom–” you slap her own hand around her mouth to stop her from talking, your entire face purple at this point. Lo’ak howled with laughter as Neteyam continued eating, expressionless, his annoyance and protective urge probably bubbling up and waiting to explode once your both were out of sight from your parents.

Your eyes met with Ao’nungs, he seemed very shocked at this news, but you decided to ignore it for now. You had more important things to deal with; Neteyam’s wrath.

After receiving a painful earful from your brother, you opted for a little walk along the beach, enjoying how the ocean looked after eclipse. The sand underneath your feet comforted you, and you liked kicking some of it into water just for fun. As you were doing so, you noticed someone who was waist deep into the water. Strange, you thought. Who would be swimming in the cold water at this hour??

You decided to get closer, and then you noticed the bun. It was Ao’nung. You waded in the water, the ripples from your movement alerting him that someone was near. He turned in your direction, making eye contact with you. 

You wanted to say something to mock him, but your resolve dissipated once you saw the look on his face. He looked like he had been deep in thought, something you’d never seen before. All you could do was wave hi. He nodded his head a little, indicating it was okay for you to be there. 

You waddled through the cold water, standing next to him. He continued staring into the horizon, and you pursed your lips in silence. This was kinda awkward, but you also didn’t want to ruin the moment. You two were so close, if you moved your left arm just a little you could hold his hand. 

Wait what? No! You weren’t supposed to be having these sorts of thoughts around him, he was supposed to be annoying! But you couldn’t help yourself, you looked down to see your hand and his, dangling lonely next to each other. You resisted the urge to take his hand, instead marvelling at the size difference. His hand was huge compared to yours. 

When you looked up, you noticed he was already staring right back at you. But instead of a smug smirk, he had a gentle smile on his face. A genuine smile. Your lips parted, confused as to what he was thinking. 

“So,” he finally said. “This ‘Vialli’ guy. Did he treat you nicely?” he asked, stopping looking at you and instead turning his gaze back to the horizon. “It’s Viawli. Not what I was expecting you to ask but alright. I mean he treated me really well when we dated–” you stopped suddenly, noticing how his ears twitched in annoyance when you said “we dated”.

Holy shit. Was he….jealous????? Your heart raced at this realisation, realising maybe you weren’t hallucinating earlier today and maybe he actually was touching you with care. You decided to test your theory, with a small grin on your face.

“He brought me tons of flowers, he was so sweet, he always complimented me and he always took me out on dates.” you pretended to gush about him, even though you’d already forgotten entirely what your little dates were like. 

“He was super good looking, I was so happy that I scored practically the most handsome guy in the clan–” you were interrupted when Ao’nung pulled you by your chin into a heavy kiss. Your eyes widened in shock, before you closed them and melted into the kiss as well.

Your teasing didn’t quite yield the results you expected, but it got you something even better. You wrapped your arms around his neck and his hands snaked around your waist to pull you even deeper into the kiss. 

The entire time your brain was just screaming at you, telling you to pull away. That it was wrong. He was supposed to be annoying. But your heart urged you, begged you to not let go of him.

You both pulled away at the same time for air, and you were stunned at what just happened. You just made out. With Ao’nung. And you enjoyed it. The world was truly going to end. 

He placed his finger under your chin once more, turning up your head so you’d look at him. He searched your eyes, your face, searching for any sign that you reciprocate his feelings. “I,” he hesitated, “I see you, Y/n.” he whispered.

You didn’t say anything for a while, just looking at him, and that made him concerned. He was about to back away when you finally placed your hand on his cheek gently. “Ao’nung. I see you.” 

His smile grew wide, and he leaned in. You thought he was about to kiss you again, but instead he put his mouth near your ear and mumbled, "I can treat you so much better than that skxawng ever could.", the huskiness of his voice making your knees buckle.

“You know you look ethereal in the night, right?” he said, as you both sat down on the sand with legs outstretched, hands holding. “Oh shut up, will you? It’s going to get weird.” you huff, feeling slightly embarrassed that you went from shouting at him and calling him a bitch to kissing him and holding hands in just one day. 

“It’s not weird. I don’t feel like anything’s weird.” he smirks, a glint of mischievousness in his eyes, “Why? Do I make you feel weird?” 

You pause, before taking your hand away from his and pinching them together. “I’m this close to throwing sand in your face.” you deadpan.

He squints, looking at your fingers. “They’re touching–” he realises what that means and he takes off running, you following closely behind him with a handful of sand. 

Eventually you catch up to him, being faster since you were much more agile than him on land. You tackle him from behind, pushing him down as he yelps. At this point you no longer have any more sand in your hands and you can’t bring yourself to take any, cause you’re too busy laughing and heaving.

You let him go and sit cross legged in front of him, smiling as he pulls himself up, panting for air. “I,” he breathes out, “I hate you so much–” You snicker, amused by how tired he is and place your hands on your cheeks. “Love you too, Ao.”

tysm for reading this, in case anyone has any requests and would be willing to give me a chance to fulfill them i'd be glad to! i had so much fun making this and i hope you liked it anon! reblogs and feedback are most most appreciated 💚

masterlist

[luvyunjinxo]

Desperately need ningning smut :(

just hungry || ningning x fem!reader

CW: food play, not proofread, vibrator usage, sort of scissoring? (not really), both receiving

You were going insane. you were at work, so busy yet stressed out because ningning kept texting you things like "Y/n! I'm sick please come home quickly:(("

And it sounded like you could hear her saying that right through the screen. You finished up your work quickly, yet that wasn't enough for your boss. "Another sheet you need to print." you heard. You had to keep telling ning that she would have to wait an hour.

You got home, rushing to take your shoes off and ran through the slim hallway you guys had in your shared house. "Ning Yizhuo." You said in your head. You grit your teeth, obviously pissed off.

"Ning Yizhuo!! You told me you were sick and you look completely fine. I was so worried about you!" your face was so angry it showed, and to her it was funny & thought it was some type of joke.

HAHAHA, all you could hear from her mouth.

"You look like you need some rest baby." -N

"You said you were sick and I'm pissed off cause I was so worried."-Y

"No I just wanted you to come home quickly!" She giggled and started acting like a kid. You scoffed and rolled your eyes at her.

"Looks like you need a break babes .." You rolled your eyes once again, but this time instead of ignoring it she sat you on the bed. She started to unbutton your collared shirt and started to give you neck kisses in the spots that you loved. You still not questioning one bit, because you knew deep down you loved it and couldn't deny. Now unclipping your bra, she pushed you to lay on your back and her body was now in between your legs.

Her hand slowly reached out to grab the whip cream on the nightstand across your head.

"w-what are you doing n-ning?"

"I'm just hungry thats all." She shook the bottle of whip cream and applied it onto your breasts leaving you confused, but again didn't question what your baby was doing.

she then started to lick on your breasts subtly, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes while she keeps licking and flicking your bud with her tongue.

"you taste so good love~" she moved onto kissing your stomach and starting kissing in between your thighs that she just spread apart. you were sensitive in between there, and she knew it. she took off your shorts and started to eat you out so good.

you started to squirm as you were close to coming but you wanted to last longer.

"baby wait stop, please I'm gonna cum and I-I wanna enjoy this with y-you." you got up to get the vibrator that was hidden under the bed, and turned it on to the lower setting.

you commanded ningning to lay on the bed and to spread her legs, and of course she gladly did. you sat in between her legs into a squatting position, holding the vibrator between both of your wet cunts. now you could both feel the pleasure.

you turned the setting up higher and you both let out a loud groan, ugh you were close to coming again.

"s-shit y/n I'm already close a-are you?"

"almo- fuck! .. almost-" ningning supported your hips and held them so you wouldn't fall back when you passed out.

"ning! i-i cant- hngh .. hold it!" without her permission you just came directly, and I guess so did she. ningning holding your back did no help, as you fell backwards and passed out anyways. ning got up and laid next to you while you both just cuddled.

"I should really pretend to be sick more often" she smirked.

"please dont baby. also what was that about anyways?"

"I just knew your boss was giving you a hard time. plus I was just hungry" she shrugged and another makeout session was created<3.

[hiddenwritingsintheworld]

My Alpha Ch. 3

 Donations | Share your Thoughts & Feelings | My Alpha Series (coming soon) | Chapter 2

You wrapped your arms around yourself as you leaned closer to the campfire. The quarterly pack camping trip, you hated this damn camping trip and for the last two years, you’d been lucky enough to get your heat during EACH one. But, you should have guessed your luck would run out eventually. “Hot chocolate?” Declan's voice came from above you, looking up, you saw him extending a hand with a small, steaming cup in it. 

You smiled and graciously took the cup, “Thank you very much,” you said sipping the hot beverage. Declan took a seat next to you and smiled nodding, “Of course, you looked like you were ready to throw yourself into the flames to get warm.” he chuckled as you laughed some. “Yeah, I haven’t been on one of these trips in a long time, forgot how cold it gets.” you said quietly. 

Declan stared at the fire for a few moments, just enjoying being near you, before he looked in your direction, “Do you mind if I ask you something?” he asked as you looked at him and shook your head. “Where’s your mom?” he watched as you flinched slightly at the question. “I’m sorry, it's not my business, I shouldn’t have asked.” but you shook your head, “No, it's fine. I just…haven’t thought about my mom in a really long time…” 

You turned more toward Declan, wrapping both hands around the hot chocolate to keep them warm. “My mom and dad were killed by a passing pack. Since I was a baby, pack master became my dad.” you shrugged as he looked on with sorrow etched in his features. “He became my dad after I was orphaned…” you looked from the cup in your hands up to meet his eyes as Declan laid a hand on your arm. 

“I’m so sorry, that sounds awful, did you ever find out who was responsible for their deaths?” he asked as you shook your head, “No, dad just said it was another passing pack, I guess there's some packs that act on wilder tendencies than we do.” you sighed softly looking over at the fire, as Declan nodded, “That’s why I left my previous pack. The Alpha pack master always wanted to fight over all the omegas, he felt he was entitled to “own” them.” he shook his head, “Omegas, I think, are greater than Alphas…everyone looks at them like they’re this weak, timid, mindless, baby making, homemaker machines…but they’re strong…they not only take care of the younglings, they make a home for their alphas to come back to, they hold the entire family together…” he smiled looking down. 

“My mom and dad were true mates, and she used to tell us that Alphas were the biggest and best, because she knew, that one day my brothers and I would become alphas, She was correct by the way, we all became alphas, and last I heard my younger brother just had his 6th child.” he chuckled as you smiled, “thats awesome, congratulations,” you smiled up at him as he smiled back at you. 

Arthur glared from across the campsite, this could not be happening. You were not going to be taken from him, he refused to let you go. His plan may not have gone the way he wanted, but dammit, he’d come too far to lose out now. He had to get you away from Declan. 

“So, I'm sure you believe in true mates and all that?” you asked as he nodded, “yeah, I mean, I know it’s rare but I do, I believe there are two souls that are destined to be together.” he refilled your hot chocolate, and took his coat off, draping it over your shoulders as he noticed you getting colder. “Thank you, it's never been this cold before, but I also don’t remember us ever coming up this high on the mountain for these trips.” you said, shivering. “What’s the point of this trip anyways?” he asked as you bit back a laugh, “It’s supposed to bring us all together, and make us a better pack…but really I think it used to be a way for betas, alphas and omegas to just kinda...hook up, without their parents finding out…and dad just kept it going, but usually the alphas go out hunting, and the rest of us ladies stay here and…as you said “home make”” you laughed as he chuckled, “But it's not all bad, we really get to bond as a pack, which is nice. The guys usually share hunting tips, and they all usually come up with some project, dad usually talks to you guys about anything we need to be aware of, while the women bond, some of us like to sew, so we bring that along with us, others really enjoy books, recipes, even just talking. I think my dad misses how it was when he was a kid, and the women would all kinda….come together to raise and manage the kids, while the men hunted for dinner.” you rolled your eyes as Declan laughed, “your dad is not that old.” 

“Well, what’s got you two laughing so much?” Arthur asked as he stepped in front of you and Declan, “oh, I was telling Declan about why we do these camping trips.” you smiled softly as Declan nodded, “she’s actually given me quite the history lesson of them, I’m really glad I get to experience it this time, my old pack never did anything like this.” he smiled at Arthur who eyed you before nodded and forcing a smile on his features, “yes, pack bonding is important, it’s important we all remember our roles in a pack too. Declan, I wanted you to join us alphas tonight on a hunt. We’re hunting boar…have you ever hunted boar before?” Arthur asked as Declan and you both stood, “I have not, but it sounds exciting, I’d love to join you.” he glanced over at you, and Arthur could feel the time slow right before his eyes. 

An Alpha….checking in with his omega. 

It’s a silent exchange, one that usually happens without either party knowing, Arthur knew exactly what he was staring at and he had to stop it before it progressed any farther. True Mates. He watched as you looked up under your lashes at Declan, blinking once before a small smile crossed your face. Giving permission….to him. He felt his temper growing more and more as each second passed. “Great. We leave in 5 minutes, best go grab your stuff.” he forced out as Declan nodded at him before glancing back at you. “I’ll see you later,” he smiled as you nodded with a smile. “Of course!” 

Arthur watched as Delcan walked over to his tent before grabbing your arm. “Stay. Away. From. Him.” he growled using his alpha voice on you, but something in your eyes, you weren’t entirely buckling before him this time. “I was just being friendly…dad.” you said quietly. “Bonding...as a pack….the whole point of this trip. Declan is part of this pack right?” you asked, raising an eyebrow as Arthur flared his nostrils. “Just stay away from him.” he snapped, growling as others glanced over at the two of you. 

You watched as Arthur stormed off, gathering supplies and others for the hunt. You were standing in your tent, when you heard someone clear their throat behind you, turning around, you smile, seeing Declan holding the tent door open, “Mind if I come in?” he asked as you nodded, “Sure.” you nodded watching him duck and stand hunched over slightly. “I wanted to apologize for earlier if you got in trouble for talking to me…I don’t like seeing you get into trouble.” he said as you shook your head, “Don’t worry about my father, he’s just over protective…he thinks you're going to hurt me or something.” you wave your hand dismissively but Declan nodded, turning his head to listen before looking back at you. “I wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed talking with you tonight and I hope we can continue our conversation over breakfast in the morning.” he smiled as you bit your lip, “I’d really like that,” you said softly. 

The small tent caused the two of you to stand closer than you usually were used to. His scent of pine and campfire filled your nostrils. As you looked up at him again, you could feel the blood rushing into your cheeks, “I overheard your father telling you to stay away from me,” he said softly. You nodded, “But I don’t want to, please be careful out there hunting with everyone else.” you whispered as he leaned down and let his cheek graze yours, “I hope you don’t stay away from me,” he whispered as his lips brushed over the shell of your ear. 

You let out a shaky breath as he slowly pulled back some, and pressed his lips gently to your cheek. “I’ll be fine sweetheart, you stay safe too. I won’t go far, so if you need anything, call me okay?” he stared down at you, his eyes soft as he smiled. You pressed yourself against his chest, rubbing your face into his shirt sighing, “I will. Thank you Declan,” you whispered as he wrapped his arms around your smaller frame. “Of course,” he stayed there for a moment before he pulled away and left your tent without anyone seeing. 

You stood with everyone else as the guys loaded up and headed out to hunt for the night, you kept an eye on Declan as he glanced at you, before they all left. “God he’s so fucking hot, Devin would kill me if he heard me say that, but damn what I wouldn’t do to let that alpha fuck me.” Marlene said as she and Christie walked back toward their tents, your father left a list of chores for the women and betas to take care of while he and the other alphas were gone. As the night went on, most of the women finished their chores and laid down in their tents. 

You however, were still sewing on some items when an alpha broke through the trees, “Pack Master has been injured!” he yelled waking the camp up.

Tag List:

@notebooks-of-nonsense @fdl305 @bval-1 @calimoi @syntheticavenger @forgetmenotsexy @mrsjenniferwinchester @chaneajoyyy @mommad @wolfieeebbbyyy @dontbescaredtosingalong @ellen-reincarnated1967 @adriellej @coffeebooksandfandom @patzammit @posiemax @auriel187 @ladybug05 @stoneyggirl2 @fallenoutofrose @mrspeacem1nusone @teamfreewill-imagine @inlovewith3 @auvisanspeur @whiskeytangofoxtrot9889 @leaveitbythewave @sleutherclaw @sandlee44 @aaqua-tofana @nohumanswereharmed @msgrandma49 @seraph-ulysses

[hearts4golbach]

The Night Shift.

chapter 2.

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.

Repetitive.

It was all so fucking Repetitive.

So fucking repetitive. 5 hours of taking orders and making them. Tonight made me want to curl up in someone's arms and cry. But I didn't have anyone waiting for me at my tiny apartment. I had never even had a boyfriend before. My parents were so insistent that I find a beautiful, tall, blonde boy who plays football. I had never found that.

Repetitive. The ringing of the bell on the door snapped me out of my thoughts. i didn't bother brightening my expression, assuming it was just another drunk.

"What can I get for you?" I asked in a monotone voice, not looking up from the register.

"Y/n?" a familiar voice called. "You okay?" I looked up, my eyes meeting Johnnie's.

"Oh, hey. Sorry, it's been a long night. Seeing you is the first good thing that has happened to me tonight."

"Do you wanna sit down and talk about it?" He offered.

A small smile grew on my face. "why not? let me take your order first."

"Can I try a large vanilla coffee? Iced, please." His tone was calm and sweet, and he seemed less tired than he did last night.

He began to take out his wallet. "This one's on me." I commented. "Any updates about your ex?"

"I haven't heard much from her, and that makes me paranoid." he replied. "let me pay, Y/n. it's your paycheck."

I rolled my eyes. "You got me a donut last night, it's the least I can do." I smiled as he threw up his hands in defeat. "maybe she got bored."

"I hope so." he sighed, leaning over the counter has he did last night. "Do you have any crazy exes?"

My face flushed. "I've never dated anyone."

His eyes widened. "That's shocking, you're really pretty. Sorry if that offended you or something."

I shook my head, my face as red as a beet. He was very attractive himself, so the compliment caught me off guard. I had no idea what to say. "Thank you, uh, you're attractive yourself." i stuttered, muttering out the first thing that came to mind.

a small blush spread across his face as he smiled with his teeth. "what's stopped you from having a boyfriend?" he asked as I brought his coffee, as well as one I made for myself, to the nearest table. he sat across from me.

"My parents want me to have the perfect guy. Blonde, football, blue eyes, you know." i stopped and looked at him, seeing a dissapointed look on his face. "But that's not what I want. So I guess I've just been waiting for someone to come to me."

His facial muscles rested. "cool." he replied, taking a sip of his coffee. "this is really fucking good."

I laughed. "did it catch you off guard? I can't believe you, johnnie. I don't make shitty coffee." I teased.

he immediately shook his head. "no, I just usually don't like coffee."

I made an 'ah' sound and took a sip of my own.

"There's a new year's party this weekend, me and my best friend are going. You should go." he smiled. "Me and Jake can give you a ride and everything."

"hmm. I can try, but I don't see why I wouldn't be able to go. I've never been to a party."

"Oh Jesus. Have you ever drank?"

"Thats like asking if I breathe air." I rolled my eyes. "why 'oh jesus?'" I questioned in a mocking tone.

"New years parties are always fucking insane, in my opinion. I'm always reeking of some sort of alcohol even if I don't drink." he scrunched his nose slightly, as if he could smell it already.

"sounds like my type of event." I smirked, taking another drink.

He smiled with his teeth. "So you'll go?" he said excitedly.

"of course." I smiled. "it'd be nice to get out of the house."

"Tell me more about your family." He replied, intertwining his fingers.

"Well, my grandparents spent their whole lives saving up to buy this cafe." I began, mimicking my parents voices. "and, in their will, they passed it down to my mom and dad. I've been spending majority of my time in this building for as long as I can remember."

"are you a peoples person?" Johnnie asked me.

"like, am I good with people and like to be around them?" he nodded. "I guess so, but I like being alone, too. like, if I'm alone too long I get tired or if I'm with people for too long I get tired. I don't know, it's weird."

"understandable." Johnnie acknowledged.

"what about you?"

"I'm just like you. But I lean more towards being with, like, two people than being alone or in a big group." he explained, waving his hand around.

I nodded in agreement. Maybe it was a bad idea to go to this party, but I had little to lose.

"Can I get your number?" He asked me. I quickly wrote it down on a napkin.

my heart fluttered. I gave a guy my number. I wasn't expecting anything to come from me and johnnie, though.

[sammysam444]

Captain John Price + Mask Wearing User.

Summary: you had an accident in the military that left your face scarred for good, once you had recovered you began self doubting your looks and thought it would be for the best if you wore a mask for the rest of your life.

(Btw I have never wrote stuff like this before so give me tips or let me know if you have any comments about this)

Warnings: Some angst, fluff, scar mentions, blood, kissing, gn!reader (thats it pretty much ngl)

Price was sat with the team on a table in the mess hall, talking and chatting mindlessly about anything really. Everyone stopped talking when you had walked in and joined them on the table, Price faced you and smiled “Good morning, Y/N” He greeted you and you only gave a simple ‘Morning’ and nodded towards him.

The guys continued their endless chatter but Price’s mind was busy with thoughts of you. When you first joined the Task Force, he knew about the mask, being that Laswell was the one who mentioned it when he received your file and spotted that there was no picture of you. He was of course curious at first and somewhat nagged Laswell to tell him why, but when she insisted on it being a privet matter, he stopped asking. But now as he is sat at the table he can’t help but wonder why did you hide your face, was it because you didn’t like your face? Is it because you have a dark past like Ghost? His mind went back and forth but he never had the courage to ask you.

And that all changed when night time came and he was standing in the hallway of his quarters and smoking a cig near a window. He was in deep thoughts but suddenly he snapped out of when he heard a door click open, he saw you walking out of your quarters as well but without the mask on.

Price froze in his place, not knowing what to do, should he make himself present? Say something or keep quiet? But that was a little too late when you spotted him by the window and your eyes met his. His gaze lingered on you, taking in your exposed face, the soft glow of the moonlight that was escaping from the window landed perfectly on you, outlining your features. He felt his heart beat quicken, your eyes were so mesmerising , your eyelashes were long and thick, your plump lips and the scars that were spread across your face.

He didn’t notice it at first but you began slowly retreating into your quarters, you felt your breath get caught in your throat, and before you knew it, Price took few big strides, his body moving on its own when he gently grabbed your arm. “Y/N…” he spoke softly, his eyes roaming your face and then landing back onto your eyes. At this point your cheeks were flushed, the fact that he had seen you, and now he was this close made your heart start beating faster. Though you’d never admit it outloud but you had developed feelings for your Captain, and it began ever since you joined the team, he was perfect in your eyes, the way he smiled and small wrinkles would appear below his eyes, or the way his blue eyes would instantly land on you when you walked into the room. He made you feel all sort of fuzzy feelings and always left you with butterflies in your stomach.

You gulped, not knowing what to do or how to react in this situation, you were both standing in silence till he lifted his hand up and cupped your cheek, his thumb tracing over your scars that had healed long ago. It was almost as if he was trying to engrave each scar into his memory, the way some scars began around your eyes and ended on your cheek, or the one scar that was diagonally across your lips, you looked so… angelic. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and finally spoke up “Why would you hide this…?” He asked you, why would you ever hide a face this beautiful?

You sighed, looking down at the floor for a moment, trying to muster up a response “I guess I always felt like I had to cover it up…” you were never able to get used to it, each time you looked in the mirror you felt… conflicted, you didn’t hate the way you looked but you didn’t exactly like it either. You even hated the self doubt that came with it, convincing yourself that nobody will ever love the way your scarred face looked, so you took the easy way out and instead covered your identity with a black balaclava. “How…?” Price mumbled, and when you didn’t reply for a second he continued “I meant how did you get these… scars?” He continued.

“JUMP PRIVET!” The pilot screamed at you as the helicopter’s red light kept flashing, followed by the alarm that was blaring. The chopper you were in was shot and it was falling to the ground at a fast pace. Your teammates had long jumped from the chopper and landed safely with their parachutes but now? There were none left, you were waiting for the right moment to jump, preferably before the chopper itself hit the ground and exploded into a million pieces but you were uncertain if you’d even make it out alive. Next thing you know the chopper landed in the sand with an explosion, the propeller flying off to god knows where, and you? Thrown out into the ground with huge force that you were sure you’d have a few fractures in your bones, your entire body was on fire (not literally), your body was acking furiously but most importantly your face… very small parts of the chopper had exploded off and some hit your face, with enough force to leave deep scars but not enough to hit any nerves. You called for help from your radio and right before you passed out from the exhaustion and blood loss, you heard several cars pull up, and next thing you know the medics were lifting you into a gurney and hurrying you into a car. The next day you had awoken in the base medical wing, the beeping monitor and the nurse that stood next to your bed who must have been taking your vitals, you looked up at her and groaned “God… where the fuck am I…?” You mumbled “Base medical wing.” The nurse replied, giving you a small smile “Glad to see you awake.” She spoke softly as she changed the empty IV bag, you froze once you saw your reflection in the glass window beside your bed… so many stitches and your face… you didn’t even know who you were looking at, couldn’t recognise yourself anymore. You held back a sob, looking away and staring at the white ceiling.

You snapped out of your thoughts and looked into his eyes “Mission gone wrong… the chopper fell and left me with these scars.” You mumbled, not wanting to go into extreme details. Price only nodded, his expression changing into one of sympathy and understanding, his thumb still caressing each scar “You look…” he trailed off “Beautiful.” He smiled softly, oh that smile of his… how it made your knees feel weak, your head instantly leaned into his touch, and you smiled back. You were sure at this point that you looked as red as a tomato but did it matter to you? No, not when you’re being held by Price himself. “Can I be honest with you, Y/N?” He murmured, and you nodded, maintaining eye contact with him “I think you’re are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” He spoke with a genuine tone, “Can I…” he took a deep breath before he continued speaking “Can I kiss you…?” His face was inches from yours and you felt his warm breath hit your face, it smelled of his signature cig and a slight hint of whiskey. You nodded your head and he leaned in, his lips touching yours in a gentle kiss. As his lips were moving along yours, you instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck, as he also wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your body flush against his. After some moment, both of you pulled back panting for air, and he had a crooked smirk on his face, “If you’re not busy tomorrow… maybe I can take you out on a date?” He asked, his eyes twinkling in the moonlight, “That would be lovely…” you smiled back, cupping his cheek and running your thumb along his beard.

[enamation]

Hello, I just came across your blog and I love your work!

So I had this idea for a little while now.. There is this criminal minds audio right now that’s trending; it goes like “How old are you? 29? I’m 30. - We missed your birthday? Why didn’t you tell us?” So I was wondering if you could write an Akito x reader for that scenario. The reader turned sixteen/seventeen and akito & the rest of vbs didn’t know.

Anyway, sorry if it seems confusing, and have fun!

Hi love !! Thank you so much, that means alot !! I actually had to look up the audio 😭 from what im seeing whoever plays the woman forgot the birthday of the other, so I really had to think about how'd I do this, but im hoping its atleast somewhat accurate to what you'd like 🙏 if it isnt, let me know and ill rewrite it !!

(4/17/2023): This has been in my drafts the utmost longest (4 months) because I didn't know how to start it, my sincerest apologies . . .)

Type: Short Story

Warnings: Uhhh not any im aware of !! VBS is explicitly implied to be 17 .

❥ AKITO SHINONOME x Reader: Sixteen

ft. Toya, An, and Kohane / Vivid BAD SQUAD

You had been dating Akito for a while now. After being close friends since elementary school, it was only a matter of time before romantic feelings were felt for the other.

The both of you almost knew everything about the other, schedules, practice dates, birthdays, and so much more.

Whenever Akito had a performance coming up, he tended to forget alot of important dates, but out of all dates he could've forgotten, why this one?

story continues utc ♡

It was a little hard for Akito to explain to you VBS' 'sekai'. A world created by feelings? A world with pieces of all 4 of you connected? What do you mean virtual singers can be found there?

Once you finally were able to put atleast some of what he was saying together ( you have no clue what's going on ), he asked if you'd like to visit.

Today is that day.

"You ready, [Name]? It's a little confusing when you first go, but I promise you'll like it" Akito shot you an awkward smile. You responded with a quiet chuckle and said "Im ready! I can't wait to meet Hatsune Miku and Ka..Kaga.."

"Kagamine Rin and Len."

"Thats what I said. I am really excited to meet all of them either way. Let's go!"

Akito double-clicked on a computer file, and the room flashed white. You closed your eyes instinctively and you soon felt so light. When you opened your eyes, you saw a beautiful café, a short haired brunette, and the rest of Vivid Bad Squad sitting and talking with her.

She turned to look at you and Akito, and gave you a warm smile and walked over to say hello.

"Ah, you must be [Name]! It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Welcome to our sekai. My name is MEIKO."

You paused for a moment, eyeing her. She didn't seem mean, and she did resemble and sound like Meiko..

"Nice to meet you as well. Is this your cafe? It smells great."

Akito smiled happily watching you and MEIKO walk towards the café, soon joining his band mates and meeting the other VIRTUAL SINGERS.

One by one, as MIKU, RIN, LEN, KAITO, and LUKA gathered to come say hi. At some point, the conversation had switched over to childhood memories, and LUKA had asked how old you were.

You opened your mouth to answer, but Akito was far quicker than you were.

"[Name]'s sixteen. They're only a few months younger than me and-"

"I'm seventeen."

The room went silent for a few moments, Everyone looking at you and Akito with wide eyes, and you felt a lump in your throat.

An was the first to pipe up, "We missed your birthday? Why didn't you tell us?"

"I did. I texted the groupchat that day." You messed with a hangnail. "I guess you all had ignored the birthday cake next to my contact name or the many pictures I took on my birthday. But you guys did also have a performance on my birthday, so you didn't have much of a chance to see me."

You looked up to glance at everyone. Akito looked away guiltily, Toya and Kohane looked worried, and An was surprised. RIN, LEN, and KAITO looked angry. MEIKO had frozen up, her hand hovering over the on button for the coffee maker while LUKA looked slightly confused. MIKU looked at the 4 of them, disappointed. When she locked eyes with you, she gave you an apologetic look.

Unable to handle the silence and embarrassment you felt, you quickly grabbed your phone and left the sekai, feeling the tears and watching your vision get blurry.

The next day, you woke up to knocks on your door. When you opened it, Akito and the rest of VBS were holding multiple presents as their eyes lit up when they heard the door unlocking.

Akito started, "Hey, [Name]. About yesterday, We felt incredibly bad for missing out on your whole birthday solely because we had people to perform for. I know it might be a little late for all this, but we got you late birthday presents and food."

Kohane added on, "Akito's right. We had all planned gifts for you in advance to your birthday, but we all know how that went." Toya spoke up as well, "Mhm. We truly hope you can forgive us, and we can make it up to you in this way." An swayed side to side slowly before speaking up, "Even if you dont forgive us, atleast take the gifts? You truly deserve them."

You couldn't help but feel a little giddy as you forgave them all and pulled all of them in for a hug. You let them inside and the rest of the day was filled with happiness, gifts, and pancakes. ( Thank Akito. )

This is the best ( really late ) birthday you've ever had.

[scorpioncobrababe84]

Making a Splash

Johnny Lawrence x reader

Daniel said I could go for a swim in their pool. They'll be out of the house for a bit, but ultimately it'll be a calm day so I've got free reign in backyard Larusso.

I hadn't gone for a swim all summer yet and I've been dying to get in some swimming and sun time.

I put on a black bikini, my cross necklace, flip flops and grabbed my beach bag which had a towel, my book, my phone and earphones, water and suntan lotion, and sunblock.

I pushed my sunglasses up onto my head before I grabbed some lemonade and went outside into the sunny backyard.

The water was clear and crisp - freshly cleaned by the looks of it.

I set down my things on the lounge chair by the pool and the table beside it.

Before I could go for a swim, I massaged sunscreen all over my body. I put a bit of suntan lotion on and laid back in the chair with my sunglasses on, letting the golden beams wash over my body.

I had my eyes closed and was enjoying a moment of serenity when suddenly

"Daniel! Open up! C'mon, you come into my dojo to trash talk me, now you can back it up!"

I jolted at the yelling, my heart racing as I turned to find Johnny at the door. I was a little relieved it was him, but at the same time I was excited by his presence.

"He's not here." I said.

He turned to me.

"Shit, really?" he was visibly disappointed and was hoping to kick Daniel's ass today.

"Yeah, he's busy with work today. Its a busy day for the whole family. Thats why they let me use the pool today." I explained.

He nodded and looked around.

"So, Larusso's really not here?"

"No. Anything I could help you with?"

"Not really.. I came here to fight, and I dont fight chicks."

As I suspected, but I appreciate his transparency.

"Maybe you can hold off on the fighting, and come for a swim." I then turned around and jumped into the pool.

I came up for air.

Treading the water, I taunted him.

"What? Scared you'll rust if you get in the water?"

"No."

I swam to the edge of the pool, resting my arms across the ledge.

"The water's fine, you know."

"Yeah, well, I didn't come to swim."

"Okay, I guess I'll just be skinny dipping alone." I innocently smiled and batted my eyelashes.

I took off my bikini bottom and threw it at him. He caught it, and looked at it.

I swam to the other side of the pool, staring him down, challenging him.

I slowly untied my bikini from the back, then reached up to behind my neck to finish untying it.

A sly grin grew on Johnny's face.

"You're not serious."

"I'm not?" I raised an eyebrow. I untied the bikini string around my neck, revealing my breasts.

I placed the bikini on the ledge of the pool.

"I could go for a swim." He said. He took off his shoes, shirt and finally his jeans. He was in his boxers and I could see an outline of his cock.

He jumped into the pool, causing a big splash.

He swam over to me.

"So, skinny dipping, huh?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. Though I'm the only one."

"You really want me to get naked out here?"

"Yeah."

"No barriers, y'know."

"Maybe I don't want any." I challenged him.

"Alright." He took off his boxers, tossing them on the edge of the pool.

I was against the wall and he caged me in with his arms. He was slowly moving closer and closer to me, I could start to feel his-

"So, skinny dipping, huh? You like being naked in other people's backyards?"

"Maybe. Maybe I just like being naked wherever I can be."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm." I nodded

"And you like being naked around guys like me?"

"Not guys like you. You."

"You are something else." He smirked.

"I know." I wrapped my arms around his neck, pushing my tits against his chest.

He grabbed my jaw and kissed me fervently, entering my mouth with his tongue.

His hands wandered my body, landing on my hips, then moving to grab my ass. He pulled me closer to him and I could feel how hard he was getting under the water. I started rolling my hips against him.

The kiss got more passionate, and he pushed me against the wall of the pool.

I felt him at my entrance as I wrapped my legs around him.

"Do you really wanna do this?"

"Oh yes. Please Johnny."

"And you're sure? Right here in the pool?"

"Please. I want you. I really do." I whispered in his ear.

I didn't think it would feel all that good in the water, but our sounds flooded the pool, until we both finished.

He held me for a moment before I spoke up.

"I ought to get dressed, Daniel will be back soon."

I grabbed my bikini, and swam to the stairs of the pool, sitting for a moment, putting my swimwear back on.

He swam to me sitting beside me. He rubbed my shoulders and kissed the space between my shoulder blades, moving up to my neck.

"That was really hot." He said lowly.

"Oh yeah?" I smiled as I finished tying my bikini top.

"Yeah." He took the straps from me, tying it for me.

We got out of the pool and put our clothes back on and dried off.

"I better go, I have to train Miguel in a bit."

"Okay. I hope you had fun."

"I did."

"Good."

As he was leaving through the gate I heard Daniel's car arrive in the driveway.

He hopped the fence, giving me one last look before he sped off.

Daniel came to the backyard to find me innocently reading my book on a lounge chair.

"So how'd the day at the pool go?" he asked.

"It went swimmingly." I smirked.

He was none the wiser.

[kynrki]

SILENT TREATMENT!

024. i never did well in listening skills tests

WARNINGS: swearing, fluffyyyyyy, wc: 802!!!

yn sighed as she waited at the coffee shop for jungwon. she really wanted to make things right between them. she would never admit it but she really missed being around him and what riki had said about him being happier that she was back? made her heart flutter.

“hey, sorry im a bit late!” jungwon breathed out. he pulled out his chair and sat across from you. “its no worries, i jus got here anyways” you replied as you handed him a drink that you got for him so long. “thank you!” jungwon said as he sipped his drink.

“basically i want to say im sorry. for how i have been treating you ever since i came back. it’s unfair towards you because you didn’t even know why and when i left, hell you probably didnt even know i left in the first place. so i dont blame you, i jus i dont know, i think coming back made me think of things i didn’t wanna think about and i think i took it out on you, which im very sorry about by the way.” you said as you finished.

“basically i want to say im sorry. for how i have been treating you ever since i came back. it’s unfair towards you because you didn’t even know why and when i left, hell you probably didnt even know i left in the first place. so i dont blame you, i jus i dont know, i think coming back made me think of things i didn’t wanna think about and i think i took it out on you, which im very sorry about by the way.” you said as you finished.

“yn, listen i get it okay? its not your fault and its not mine either. yes i dont know why you left and why it hurt you so much but i hope you know in the time you left, i felt like a piece of me disappeared too.” jungwon said as he stared into your eyes. he waited for you to answer. but you didn’t. you kept quiet.

you closed your eyes and took a deep breath in and out. “jungwon listen, the reason i left was because ifelt like you were ignoring because of riki them.” you said finally. “ignoring you? what do you mean?” jungwon asked confused. “i dont wanna sound selfish but even since we entered highschool and you became friends with jake them, it was always about them. you always hung out with them. you always talked to then and about them. you even stopped talking to me completely, your whole focus was on them and them only. and i guess i jus felt left out, like i didn’t belong here anymore so i did what i always do. i ran. ran away from my problems when i could’ve sorted it out with you.” you said

jungwon sighed as he took all this new information in. his heart dropped when he realised that he did, in-fact completely ignore you. he jus wanted to be cool with ‘the boys’ and never realised what great cost it could’ve afforded him. the great cost being you.

“yn im so so sorry i didnt even-“ “and what makes it even worse is i had this massive crush on you, i mean i still do but thats not the point, the point is that it was jus so embarrassing for me to come back here because i didnt wanna hurt my pride.” you interrupted him.

jungwons cheeks started turning red. you liked him? and you still do? is he dreaming or? “you like me?” jungwon smirked as he leaned on the table closer to you. “w-what? are you even listening to what im saying?” you stuttered. jungwon then loved his chair to beside yours. your breath hitched as he leaned even closer now. his lips ghosting over yours.

“i am listening? you said you liked me and that you still do” jungwon said as he looked into your eyes. his eyes flickered down to your lips and back up to your eyes as yours did the same. with a deep breath, you closed your eyes and leaned in to kiss him. jungwon definitely didn’t expect that but who was he to complain?

it was a short sweet kiss. your lips moulded together as both your heart rates increased. the kiss was smooth as if it was a sweet melody that was playing. you broke the kiss and looked at him. he looked at you with loving eyes and smiled. “as you were saying?” jungwon said as he smiled at you sweetly. “i- yeah” you said as jungwon laughed. “hey dont laugh at me” you pouted. “okay okay, how about this, lets take things slow alright? and see where this goes?” jungwon said as he grabbed your hand in his. “okay yeah” you blushed. “now lets go to school, dont wanna get caught late” jungwon said as you both walked out.

masterlist | previous | next

AN — i wont be updating tomorrow bc i will be busy so enjoy this chap LOLZ FINALLY!!!!!

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

PAIRING — non idol!yang jungwon x non idol!reader

SYPNOSIS — yn and jungwon, the middle school best friends everyone thought would get into a relationship when they entered highschool. well, they were definitely wrong. after entering highschool, jungwon finds new friends and slowly starts to ignore yn. as much time went on, they became strangers once again, until yn decided to leave. jungwon never noticed that she left, that was until he went for family dinner at yn’s parents house. regret, pain, guilt, is all the boy could feel when her parents mentioned that one of her best friends decided to ignore her, like they were strangers again. as the years of highschool goes past, jungwon becomes closed off, only talking to his friends, wishing he still had her. but what if yn returns for the last year of highschool? will jungwon make an effort to become friends again? or will she be the one ignoring him this time?

TAGLIST ONE (closed) — @soulsdeadplants @hiqhkey @yunki4evr @lovnayeon @axolotlboo @deeznutsriki @kimjiho1 @emoworu @tomorrowbymoa-together @jwsflower @ayayiiie @yeonjunsleftboob @caty-catts @sunghoonsblackgf @jungwonnieee @sophhloaff @cyuuupid @viagumi @kimmchijjajang @y4ngjungw0nz @arizejkt19 @lil-iva @stickersim @wonluvrbot @rrvvby @swnheo @facelesswrittes @scarfac3 @crazywittysassy @shawkneecaps @cwsana @misavenue @heystarlette @99outros @lachinitaaaaa @jiawji @straykidz0914 @tobiosbbyghorl @mklhyvn @kaeslily @rendezrei @ineedcoffeeandtherapy @denleave1088 @blearis @3nh4luvr @life-shining @stephaniekim15 @pjongbb204 @nvertheless

[strrvnge]

sherlock getting jealous of you and john’s friendship because it seems as if john somehow knows you better and you prove to him it’s not possible by having him touch you and get you all turned on.

“John doesn’t know me like you do, Sherlock. He’s never seen me the way you’ve seen me. He’s never felt me the way you’ve felt me. Never had me the way you have me. I am yours.”

Sherlock can be quiet insecure when it comes to his relationship with other people. Thats simply because he's not experienced and is afraid he might do something wrong and push them away, something which he is terribly afraid of as he never had people to care for. But at the same time he has trouble approaching someone or understanding or caring about some basic (to us stupid people) things which makes him sometimes (alway) look insensible or aloof. Whether you're his friend or the person he has a crush on there is no way you won't be told to shut up during a case at least once.

In contrast with John who always seemed to get along with everyone, John who always said and did the right thing, John who knew how to talk to you, who knew how to comfort you. John who did things Sherlock was only now starting to learn, because of you. Because he wanted to keep you in his life

So of course the observer he was he noticed how close you two were getting, how much time you spent together at the point of even having a few stupid inside jokes Sherlock couldn't get.

Walking into the crime scene you searched across the crowd of police officers for Sherlock who was talking (nagging) a very exhausted Greg.

"Hi" you cheered

"My good saviour" Greg exclaimed and patting your shoulder he started walking away "He's all yours!"

"Wow"you mumbled but Sherlock didn't even turn around to look at you. "Where's John? I tried to call him a couple but he didn't answer so I guessed he was with you"

"Well I'm surprised you don't know where he is given your special relationship", Sherlock muttered under his breath.

"What special relationship?" You asked confused.

"I dont know perhaps the one that made you be late in our yesterday's case session because you had gone out for fish and chips with John" He explained only now turning to look at you "Who even eats this thing anyways?"

"Yes like you needed me to solve the case!" You joked but the look he gave you made you choke on your own laugh.

"What?", you laughed shocked "Sherlock you don't seriously think I like John better than you?"

Sherlock avoided your gaze, looking everywhere except you, but that was enough to answer your question. "I wouldn’t care-"

"Becaude I don't", you cut him off and he frowned. Sherlock wasn't the jealous type, actually he was anything but jealous when it came to other people, so you were rather confused about his strange complaint.

"Well that sounded kinda terrible but it's not that I don't like John because I do! As a friends he's great" you said and swallowed uneasily, not believing what you were about to say just to make him feel nice."But you Sherlock..." You took a deep breath and Sherlock noticed how your hands trembled uncontrollably, a profound sense of guilt creeping into him"I actually-"

Before you could even start the suicidal attempt of a confession, he gave you a small kiss on your cheek, making your eyes pop wide open in shock.

"Thank you Y/N I really appreciated our little chat. Please don't be late when it's about a case." He said and just like that he left as you stood there freezed unable to process what had just happened.

Bonus

"Come on Sherlock I think your friendship can survive this little crush. You just have to let her down slowly" John said before taking a sip of his tea, quietly watching from his armchair as Sherlock paced up and down the living room.

"And how do I do that?"

"Be honest. Tell her how you feel. You can't kiss someone you say you don't like Sherlock", John said.

"That wouldn't work. Also I never said I didnt like her otherwise I wouldn't invite her to our usual murder cases" Sherlock explained

"Oh yes always the romantic. And why wouldn't it work again?" John raised an eyebrow making Sherlock huff in annoyance with his friend's brain functionality.

"Because if I tell her how I feel she might get the impression I want to pursue a relationship with her" Sherlock said in one breath before noticing the unamused expression on John's face.

"Yes, John I might appreciate her in a manner friends don't, please don't give me that look"

"I'm not giving you any look", John laughed, raising his hands as a sign of innocence "But I can't say I didn't know you liked her. It's too obvious to ignore"

Sherlock hands locked behind his back as he studied John who looked especially proud for his detection.

"Hm. That's very perceptive of you John, I didn't know you were capableof such thing-no offense. Anyways to the reason of our today's meeting"

"Yes of course. So why would she think you'd like to have a relationship with her?" John ignored his friend's comment, knowing it was pointless even thinking about it.

"Because I might be...interested in her. Only the slightest I sweat. Please don't have me explain to you how love is a -

"Chemical reaction" they said together

[draagu]

back from a pretty successful day in the (outer) wilds

so! started by conquering my fears and went back to the dark bramble (ignoring several fish related deaths) to investigate the hollow vine, and sure enough, it was a hollow vine. Found the jellyfish and then accidentally plummeted back down into the bramble so now i'm missing stuff there still, but i would like to flex that i made it back to my ship entirely safely (it was still at the vine) >:3

then i kind of wandered against the walls in hopes of finding wherever im assuming the vessel was, not exactly sure whats going on with that, but im assuming its somewhere dark bramble related based off the brittle hollow mural?

segway! i FINALLY went to the southern observatory and hoo boy that was some good lore!

also hey finally started taking silly clips

for whatever reason it records my music way louder than i have it, so uh, kind of ruins the mystical vibes this game has but oh well. damn you happy character playlist. also the mic is not! good on the xbox game bar! prolly need to look into that if i can

anywho! took some notes:

with my newfound cyclone knowledge, i took a voyage back to giants deep and went beneath the current! can't say i knew what to do if anything down there, but hey looking at the jellyfish was nice! may have gotten too curious about the core and shocked myself but shh

it looked like the jellyfish came from the core? still not sure what to do with this knowledge but it was nice

also tried to go to the sun station again and once again failed the jump. need to figure out a more reliable way of getting across :'o, based on the status message, the bridge only breaks like 8 minutes before i gets there, though i don't think i can really get there much earlier considering the ash twin? who knows

thats all for today though! very fun getting back into things

i guess my to do list now is,, figure out where the vessel is if i can find it, figure out the whole quantum moon and the eye thing, aaandd figure out how to get across the sun station

[myfanstories]

Adore you

~ Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

A/N: I havent written in about 3 years so I’m a little scared to come back aaa!!! But if I feel comfortable enough I might open my requests again :))

Warnings: smoking, talk about alcohol (if anything is missing please remind me!!)

Requested: no, but its based on a request I saw somewhere

Summary: Joe’s roommate tries to stay out of the media for as long as possible, but what happens when Noah Schnapp accidentally lets her name slip?

It all started with that stupid interview, god that stupid interview….

“Who’s the meanest on set?”

Joe, Natalia, Maya and Joseph all looked at each other, all supporting a thinking face “None of us… or like, never intentionally I guess?” Maya answered, Natalia nodding in agreement “I know who’s the meanest” Joe laughed “She’s not a cast member but” with that he quickly shot a look at the boy sitting next to him “your roommate” Joe laughed while Joseph looked at him in surprise “You think she’s mean?!” “I think she’s an angel and I adore her…. except for when she wakes up from a nap” Joseph winced slightly, tongue sticking out with an amused look on his face thinking back to all the times you yelled at him when he accidentally woke you up from a nap. You even called poor Charlie Heaton ‘Satan’s whore’ once, apologizing over and over again when you were back to your normal, calm self again. He slightly leaned forward in his seat, facing the camera with a guilty look on his face “Sorry roomie, but I have to agree”

Thats what triggered it all. The mystery of the roommate.

Joseph was an aspiring actor who had already made a decent name for himself in his home country but he wanted more, so the next big step… the States. But he quickly figured out that it was quite expensive living there when you’re just starting to make it. So when he came across the little advert paper that was hung up in his favorite coffeeshop that you were looking for a roommate he quickly contacted you and almost 3 years later, you guys were still going strong. You knew he wanted to make it big and supported him every step of the way… but nothing could have prepared the both of you for the fame that would bring your roommate when he got a huge part in the fourth season of Stranger Things.

You stayed in the appartment while Joseph flew to Atlanta to shoot the show, but that didnt stop you from flying out there from time to time just to visit him.

And when you where there he always tried so hard to make you feel welcome and so naturaly, tons of new friendships were formed.

And when the new season finally aired and you started to notice how much the fans took a huge liking not only to the new character Eddie but also to Joseph, the both of you agreed to keep your name and the current living situation out of the public eye. So when Joe mentioned his roommate….you… the fans went crazy trying to figure out who you were

And then came the accidental name and face reveal by Mr Noah Schnapp

* reader’s POV from now on •

Laughter echoed through the room, alcohol and food on the table, music playing in the background and stupid Noah… livestreaming on his goddamn instagram

I took a sip from my red wine, listening to a story Sadie was telling, a smile on my face as I looked around the room. This cast was something else… Joseph used to tell me stories of some of his set experiences where the vibes where just off, where nobody really spoke to anybody, where work was work and nothing else. But this, these were friends for life. I felt a light squeeze on my shoulder and looked up to see Joseph smiling at me “You alright?” He asked and I nodded, returning him a smile. His hand stayed on my shoulder and I put my hand over his, giving it a light squeeze in return “Joseph, Y/N say hi” a camera was suddenly pointed directly to my face, I smiled nicely and waved, thinking nothing of it. Noah always had his phone out, making ridiculous video’s so I thought he was just making another one. But then my heart dropped when I heard him say to his phone “Oh yeah thats Joseph’s roommate” my smile faded as I shot a look at Joseph who’s smile had also dropped “Noah whatcha doing?” He asked “A livestream” he fired back, but realisation quickly hit him as he realised what he just had done “Ooooh nooo….” He dragged his words, panic on its face as he looked at me and Joseph “Its fine, its fine dont worry” I smiled and before I knew it he had moved on to Maya and Millie who where chatting on one of the sofa’s.

The internet loved this. Finally they had a name AND a face. Luckily for me my socials were all private and Joseph was also a very private person so they had a very hard time tracing me

But then the first fan encounters came.

“But do we really need this?” “I need this” “But do we really need it?” Joseph sighed, putting the box of cookies down with a frown “I dont get why you’re upset, arent the 3 other different kinds of biscuits you put in the cart not enough for you?” I argued, an amused smile creeping on my face “But I havent tried those before” he whined and I rolled my eyes at him “A literal child… lets go” he stumbled behind me, dragging his feet clearly upset that he had to put the biscuits back. I stopped in my tracks, dropped my head and turned to him “Okay go get them, I’m gonna check out already” he clapped his hands and turned on his heels back to the aisle to get his goddamn biscuits.

I waited in line until it was my turn to check out but Joseph was nowhere to be seen. The cashier ringed up the last item and I desperately looked around for him… I quickly paid for the groceries and made my way outside to the car. When I went to put my cart away there was still no sign of him and I was ready to go back inside and have his name called through the speakers like I was his goddamn mother when he came walking out the store “Sorry sorry sorry i’m here” I threw up my hands in a questioning matter but he just grabbed my arm and lightly dragged me to the car “what hap-“ “Hi? I’m so sorry to bother you but are u Joseph Quinn??” An excited voice sounded from behind us and he turned around, putting a smile on his face “uh, yes” “Do u mind if we take a quick picture with you?” The girl almost squeeled, looking at him and her friend “uh sure” he let go of my arm and stood in the middle of them, the girl raised her arm to take a picture but clearly the sun was bothering her so I stepped forward “Do I need to take it for you?” I asked and the girl looked at me in surprise “Would you mind?” “No, not at all” I smiled and she gladly handed me the camera. I took a decent amount of pictures from quite a few angles and gave the phone back with a smile “Here you go” “Are you the roommate?” The other girl asked and I looked at Joseph, raising a hand to shield my face from the sun “Uh yeah” I laughed awkwardly, luckily Joseph could feel I wasnt comfortable with this encounter so he spoke up “Yes and our ice cream is probably melting so we should get going! Girls it was lovely to meet you” he hugged them as I climbed into the passengers seat.

I gave them a small wave and a smile as we drove past them and then let out a deep breath “You okay?” Joseph asked after a moment of silence and I just nodded “You sure?” He questioned and I looked at him “Yes Joe, its fine.. I promise”

But it wasnt fine. Not after stupid me went on tiktok that night and most definitely not after I read about 100 comments about myself.

Most of them were nice, saying how lovely I was for offering to take those pictures for those girls but I also quickly discovered how cruel people could actually be.

She looks kinda weird…

I hope they’re not dating on the downlow cuz he for sure can get way better than that

I’m glad to see she’s not a threat to any of us lmao

I was knee deep in the comments of another edit on tiktok when a knock on my door startled me. Putting my phone down I walked up to my bedroom door and opened it, being greeted by a smily Joseph holding out something to me. I looked down to see him holding two cigarettes and I sighed, gladly accepting one. “Thank you” I breathed as he walked into my room. I opened the big window behind my bedframe and sat on the ledge as Joseph sat beside me. Lighting up the cigarette, I inhaled deeply and handed the lighter to Joe who did the same. We sat in silence for a minute before he spoke up “are you okay?” I nodded, frowning “Yeah, yeah why wouldnt I be?” “I dont know, you’ve been awfully quiet since dinner” I blew out a cloud of smoke outside and shrugged “Just tired” I said and he nodded, accepting my answer. “I have to meet my manager tomorrow at 2 but I think i’ll be able to get out of there at 5. Is it okay if we leave around 7?” I gave him a questioning look, not really understanding what he was talking about before I realised “Oh! Oh yeah perfect” we were going to the Harry Styles concert tomorrow. I had been looking forward to it for the past month but with all thats been happening the past couple of days I kinda forgot about it “Great, I think Joe, Maika and Maya will meet us there. Sadie texted me asking if we could pick her up on the way there” “Sound great” I replied quietly and soon we where back to a comfortable silence.

I threw the now finished cigarette out of the window and not long after Joe did the same, he cleared his throat and stood up from the window ledge. He looked at me for a second before reaching out, placing his hand on my cheek “You know you can talk to me right, if something is bothering you” I gently placed my hand on top of his and nodded “I know” we locked eyes for a moment and he smiled, leaning it to give me a kiss on the other cheek before walking out of my room “Goodnight Y/N” he closed the door behind him and I crawled back into bed after closing my window.

I stared at myself in the mirror, adjusting my skirt one last time before sighing “well good enough” I mumbled and grabbed the lipgloss from my desk “Holy Kapow! Damn you look great” I rolled my eyes and laughed as my roommate whistled at me. I turned around and smiled “You dont look too bad yourself Mr Quinn” he did a spin and ended his pose with his hands on his hips, his tongue out of his mouth and a shit eating grin on his face “But! We’re both missing something” He held up his finger and walked to the living room, I followed him and let out a laugh as he held something fluffy in his hands “A boa? Really?” “Hell yeah, I got one for everyone! And in different colors, you get the honor of choosing first darling” Darling.. I quickly shrugged of the shivers down my spine and walked towards him, picking up the light blue one and put it on me “Now thats a sight for sore eyes” I hit his chest playfully and smiled “Come on, Sadie’s waiting on us”

As we met everyone there and got settled - and after the two Joe’s had a discussion about who got the pink Boa - I looked at Joseph who was already smiling at me “What?” I asked and he shrugged “You look cute” a slight blush crept on my cheeks and I quickly started a conversation with Maika.

When Joe first introduced me as his roommate to the rest of the cast they couldnt believe nothing ever happened between us. And I mean sure, the first few months we lived together there was an undeniable amount of sexual tension between us but neither of us acted upon it. It also didnt help when I got a boyfriend and when that said boyfriend cheated on me, all the sexual tension kinda just disappeared over time as he realised I just needed my friend at that time. But sometimes, in moments like these when he says something like that or just even sometimes when he just looks at me.. those feelings come crawling back for just a moment.

The concert was halfway through and we were having the time of our lives, dancing like no one was watching and singing at the top of our lungs. Having famous friends came with a lot of benefits, including getting to have backstage access which meant we were standing behind the barriers with an amazing view but that also meant… standing very close to the fans in the pit.

Sadie was the first person to notice that a couple of them recognised them and told the rest and not long after those fans started to creep a bit closer to us. Luckily for us, they were super nice and Keery suddenly turned to us “Should we go dance with them?” He shouted over the music and Maya shrugged and nodded. Joseph looked at me and I smiled “Go! Go! I’ll wait here” I urged at him as the rest started to leave the safe space of the barrier, but Joseph just took my hand and dragged me along with him in the crowd. The looks on those poor girls faces when they realised who they were dancing with was priceless. As ‘Treat people with kindness’ played we all jumped and danced together like maniacs. Maya was holding hands with one of the fans swaying to the music while Sadie was dancing with another girl. Joseph and Joe were forming a small circle with two other people and dancing around. They motioned for Maika and I to join them and soon we were one big circle, all holding hands, dancing, smiling, laughing. The song came to an end and just as we were catching our breath the next one started playing. The soft beat of Adore you filled my ears and I smiled looking at Joseph who was already making his way towards me, swaying his hips to the beat

“You dont have to say you love me

You dont have to say nothing

You dont have to say you’re mine” he sang loudly, his hands suddenly on my waist as he swayed my body to the music. With a smile from ear to ear I placed my hands on his shoulders. He closed his eyes, throwing his head back, shouting the words in to the air with his hands still on my waist. I giggled and grabbed his face forcing him to look at me as I sang him the words

“You dont have to say you love me

I just wanna tell you something

Lately you’ve been on my mind.. honey”

His hands made their way to the ends of my boa and pulled me closer by it, our faces only inches apart from each other as he cupped my cheeks, the last chorus of the song blasting through the speakers

“I’d walk through fire for you, just let me adore you

Oh honey

Just let me adore you

Like its the only thing i’ll ever do”

We kept eyecontact as he sang the words to me. I was too stunned to speak, my heart racing so hard I thought it might burst out of my chest. We kept eyecontact for another second as the song ended, me being the first one to break it and step away. I soon realised again where we were and felt a panic starting to rise.. this intimate moment we just had wasnt gonna stay so intimate..

And I was right.

My face was everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Tiktok, twitter, instagram, you name it and people where talking about me.

Is roommate the new codeword for secret girlfriend? Joe Quinn spotted getting intimate with infamous roommate

I rolled my eyes at yet another headline I read about us and kept scrolling. As I closed the daily mail article and moved over to tiktok I was already regretting my decision to look at it.

I get it, people are jealous and curious but those comments… those were something else. A single tear slipped down on my cheek, I put my hand of my mouth as I surpressed a sob, fully aware Joe was in the room next to mine. I kept scrolling and scrolling and scrolling through comments, each harsher then the previous one. There were some lovely comments in there as well, but soon I was blind to them, only focussing on the hatefull ones.

Joseph was in his room, answering some work related emails when he suddenly heard his phone buzz next to his laptop. Picking it up, he looked at the phone screen and frowned when he saw the name on his screen. “Hello?” “Joe what the hell??” the voice of your best friend echoing through the phone “Whats wrong?” Joe questioned, a little panic in his voice “Have you seen Y/N today?” she asked and he frowned “I’m pretty sure she’s in her room, do you need her? Why are you calling? You never call me” he asked “But have you seen her?” She questioned again and he thought for a second “I mean no, I knocked on her door an hour ago or so and when she didnt answer I figured she was taking a nap and I did not want to wake up the beast” he laughed but the smile quickly disappeared when he heard your best friends panicked tone “Well I think you should try again” “But whats wrong?” “Joe… your fans..” she trailed of and he heard a sigh “I’m gonna send you some stuff okay, she’s not answering me and I’m getting really worried. People are mean Joseph, fix this.. please. Call me back later okay?” but before he could reply the line was cut and a few seconds later his phone buzzed again. He opened the pictures your best friend had send them, his eyes quickly scanning over the comments and he let out a loud gasp, quickly getting up from his chair and marching to your room

A heavy knock on my door pulled me out of the trance that was my phone “Y/N?” I closed my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks as I stayed silent, hoping Joseph would just go away “Y/N I’m sorry but i’m coming in” and before I could respond the door opened. I didnt look at him as he entered my room, adverting my gaze to the wall as he sat down next to me. He gently placed his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. I covered my face as I slightly leaned into him “I’m so, so sorry” he whispered and in that moment I just broke down. I sobbed into my hands as his grip got tighter and he softly sushed me. He stayed silent as I cried in his arms for a good minute and heavy tears turned into soft sniffs. When I finally got the courage to look at him, its then when I noticed his own tears on his cheeks “Oh no, dont cry I’m sorry” I wiped down my hands on my blankets before my hands made their way to Joseph’s face “I’m so sorry” he spoke softly as I wiped his tears from his face “Joseph this isnt your fault” “I never meant for this to happen, I promise I will fix this. And I want you to know” he grabbed my hands, squeezing them “I really want you to know, that none of that bullshit is true. You have no idea how beautiful you are, how loving and caring you are.. and those people have no idea what you mean to me” I nodded as a few more tears rolled down my cheek, I was quick to wipe them away and let out a deep breath “I never thought it would be like this, that people would hate me for just living with you” he scoffed “Well let them hate I dont care. They dont know me, they think they know me but they dont. They dont know what we’ve been through together and they most certainly dont know how much I love you” I smiled as we locked eyes, his fingers softly grazing my cheek “Like, I really really love you Y/N” I leaned into his touch, a small blush forming onto my cheeks “I love you too Joe” we stayed in a comfortable silence for a second before I spoke up “Will you stay with me tonight?” He looked surprised and I shrugged “I dont have any self control and I will fall back into that rabbit hole and honestly, I really dont wanna be alone right now” without replying he climbed to the left side of the bed, he softly patted the empty spot next to him and I let out a small giggle. I climbed next to him, making myself comfortable under the blankets as we laid next to each other, face to face. I closed my eyes as I felt gentle fingers running through my hair. I hummed in satisfaction before I heard him speak my name, his voice low. I opened my eyes again, meeting his brown ones “I’m going to kiss you, but if you dont want that just pull away” he whispered, his lips gently meeting mine in the middle. When we finally parted I just gave him a soft smile as I moved closer to him burying my face into his neck, his arms around me and with a big, satisfied smile on my face I finally let sleep consume me.

Joseph’s ears were blessed with the soft but deep breaths of his roommate on his neck. She was fast asleep but he just couldnt shake off the thought that he wanted to do or say something to make things right. He gently took his phone from behind her head, carefull not to wake her up and unlocked it, opening his instagram account. Opening his camera roll he smiled as he selected a few of his favorite pictures with his favorite girl, also adding a video he knew she would beat him up for but he didnt care.

The first picture was a mirror picture of the two of them together on set, him with a big smile on his face and his roommate pouting her lips as she rocked Eddie’s wig.

The second picture was one Jamie took of them on a night out, half smoked cigarette in her mouth and him resting his chin on her head from behind her, hands firmly locked around her waist and her hands on top if his.

The third picture was a picture of her sleeping in one of the tents on set, she looked so peaceful and her hands were crossed as if she was dead. Sadie, Gaten, Keery and Natalia standing over her pretending to cry and mourn for her as if it was her funeral. He quietly chuckled at that memory.

The fourth slide was a video of her, Joseph’s laughter echoing in the background of the video as Y/N cried her eyes out at the sight of Joseph as Eddie on the screen “Why are you crying love?” “Because i’m just so proud of you” she said in between sobs “And stop filming me dickhead” the video cutting of as she slapped the camera.

Then came the last picture. His favorite picture of her ever. Sitting on a hill, surrounded by tiny flowers, eyes closed and a smile of her face while the sun radiated of her skin. He remembered taking that picture of her in the early days they lived together and being mesmerised by her beauty.

He carefully chose his next words, typing it out and rereading it one last time before pressing send. He gently felt her move and quickly threw his phone back to the side. Satisfied, he closed his eyes before giving the girl in his arms one last kiss on the side of her head. He loved her, that he knew and he hoped the world would see that now too.

This girl has been my rock for the past three years. She has seen me at my worst, at my best and everything in between. She is the reason I made it as far as I have, being my number one supporter. She deserves all the love in world and that is what I ask from you guys, to give her love and nothing but love. Thank you Y/N for being my best friend and my favorite person ever. I love you x JQ