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curlynerd · 3 years

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What He Wants

Happy gift posting day for @starrynightdeancas gift exchange! My gift recipient is @bipridedean! She requested a Destiel, canon-adjacent fic, so here it is! I hope you like it! <3

Word Count: 2.6K Rating: G Summary: 5 times Dean said "I do" and 1 time he didn’t. Notes: Post canon, fix-it fic, oneshot, love confessions, Destiel wedding

Also read it on AO3!

The first time it happens Sam is the only one to hear it. They’re alone in the bunker, surrounded by months and months of tireless research. But finally, finally, Dean thinks they’ve discovered how to get into the Empty.

Dean wants to push through the night and get a portal up and running as soon as possible. Sam insists they both go to bed, pleading with Dean that he won’t be able to concentrate on the spellwork to maintain it without at least a few hours of sleep.

Dean spends most of the night staring at the ceiling, thoughts racing through his head at a hundred miles an hour. This time tomorrow, he could have Cas back. This time tomorrow he can--Dean is almost afraid to think it, afraid that giving form to what he wants will somehow curse it and stop it from ever coming true. After all, the thing he wanted most before this was for Cas to love him back, and that didn’t exactly end rosy.

Still, as Dean finally closes his eyes, he allows himself a small, private wish. He hopes this will be the last time he falls asleep alone.

The next morning, they’re both expecting some sort of bump in the road, some rare ingredient or some missing incantation that will set them back even longer, keep Dean from seeing Cas again for God knows how long. But fortune is on their side, and Sam executes the spell flawlessly.

Dean is armed to the teeth with every weapon and protection spell they could collect on short notice. His plan for finding Cas and dragging him back home sits clearly at the front of his mind. His heart pounds in his ears, fast but steady and strong.

“You know, if this doesn’t work, you could get stuck there. I might not be able to open a new portal.” Sam looks at the pulsating mass of black that serves as the portal to the Empty. Worry is etched deeply into his forehead. “Do you really want to do this?”

Dean thinks of Cas’ face, the way he had smiled as he said he loved him. He thinks of how he was so close to having the one thing he really wanted. How Cas had wanted the same.

There’s no peace in loneliness.

Dean tightens his grip on his angel blade, his jaw set, his eyes determined. He’s ready to get his angel back. “Yeah. I do.”

The second time it happens, it takes Cas by surprise. It’s been a week since Dean heroically pulled the love of his life from the Empty...and also since Dean lost all remaining courage. He choked. His unspoken response to Cas’ confession is a taut tension wire between them, keeping them inches apart, words suffocating in their tightly sealed mouths, both terrified to say anything and risk breaking something that can’t be mended.

Dean hates himself for it. It’s cowardice is what it is. It’s a lifetime of desperately fighting against the things that make him vulnerable. Against wanting things. Against believing anyone could love him. Even with Cas’ confession still crystal clear in his memories, Dean doubts.

He is deep into those self-deprecating thoughts when he finds Cas in the garage, struggling to figure out how to change a flat tire on his truck from a Youtube video.

“Cas? What’re you doing?”

Cas startles and immediately hunches his shoulders in guilt. He wasn’t expecting to be caught. “Dean.” He looks down at the lug wrench in his hand, and Dean can see the wheels spinning in his head, trying to concoct a cover story before he shrugs and gives up the truth. “I was trying to fix the truck.”

“You need to go somewhere? Cuz I can just drive you.” Dean’s heart pounds, his mouth going dry. Cas wouldn’t need to sneak around for a little errand.

Cas shakes his head and confirms Dean’s fears. “I wanted to have it ready. In case I needed to leave.”

“Leave?” Dean repeats, and his blood goes cold.

Cas deflates a little, resigned and sad. “I assume I’ll need to soon.”

“You can’t leave!” ‘Tell him!’ screams in Dean’s mind, but he can’t. He can’t. What if he’s wrong? What if Cas doesn’t love him like that? What if Cas doesn’t love him at all anymore? What if Dean screwed it up by staying silent and Cas realized he deserves to be with someone who can provide a simple answer to “I love you?” What if--

“I don’t want to,” Cas says softly. The pain is evident in his eyes as they flicker to his truck, like he expects to need to book it out of here at any moment. “But I wasn’t sure if you wanted me here after--” He cuts himself off and shakes his head. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome,” he amends.

“Cas, this is your home, same as me and Sam.” Cas doesn’t look so convinced. “C’mon man, you really think we don’t want you around?” Dean leans against the side of Cas’ truck to ground himself. “Cas, I want you here.” ‘I want more than that,’ he thinks, and it would be so easy to say what he really needs to say, but he can’t. He fights viciously with his own self-esteem, ripping at it, begging it to let him say more. “Please don’t leave,” he says, small and helpless, and it’s like moving a mountain to say that much.

Cas’ expression softens into longing. His hand clenches at his side, like he’s fighting the urge to reach out to Dean, but he smiles a soft, incredulous smile. “I can stay? You really mean it?”

Dean swallows thickly. A hundred words crowd his throat, fighting to get out, but his own fears win this round and keep them down. Instead all he can manage is a choked, “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

The third time it happens, it takes them both by surprise. They’d gone on a hunt, just the two of them while Sam was visiting Eileen, and everything had gone sideways. What they thought was just a troublemaking demon turned out to be an extremely powerful witch, one with more than enough experience in Enochian magic to put Cas in serious danger. And of course Cas was reckless in his desire to protect Dean, and only managed to avoid getting killed by quick thinking and, to be honest, a helluva lot of luck.

The fight left Cas injured, and Dean pissed. “What the hell were you thinking!” he scolds at the end of a cold, silent drive back to the bunker.

“I did what I needed,” Cas shoots back with a steely glare.

“No, you didn’t need to go rushing in like that!” Dean’s worry leeches out as anger, the fear of losing Cas yet again clouding his reasoning that Dean himself would have died without Cas’ quick action. “You could have gotten a lot more hurt!”

“Why does it even matter to you?” Cas yells back, and it’s the note of hysterical bitterness darkening his words that makes Dean snap and say what he’s been hiding for far too long.

“Because I love you, you stubborn ass!”

The words freeze in the air between them, sharp and strong, wedging themself right where Dean’s anger was just a moment ago.

“You...love me?” Cas asks, his voice small, his eyes big.

And like that, Dean’s fears seem so foolish. Cas loves him. Cas died because just admitting he loves him was the happiest moment of his life. Cas has already done the hardest, scariest part for him. Dean doesn’t even have to fear Cas not feeling the same.

Silently, Dean takes a single step forward. Cas is frozen on the spot, staring at him like he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He takes another step, and another, until he’s close enough to reach out and tug Cas into an embrace.

“Of course,” Dean breathes. He holds Cas close, tucking his chin over his shoulder and squeezing tight, like he never wants to let go. He doesn’t ever want to let go. Cas is slower to react, but when his arms finally wind around Dean, he breathes out a soft, sobbing gasp and clings to Dean. Dean turns his head to bury his nose in Cas’ hair. “Of course I do.”

The fourth time it happens, Cas doesn’t even hear it. Cas found out about a nearby crafts fair, and all it took was one particularly soulful look from those big blue eyes of his, and Dean was driving them a full hour and a half away to look at homemade pottery and local honey and overpriced tacky mesh wreaths and pretending that the entire atmosphere of the place wasn’t giving him hives.

Cas is having a blast. Dean is carrying bags and lurking in the shadiest spots he can find away from the summer heat while Cas browses. Cas is having an animated conversation about beekeeping with a honey merchant when Dean ducks into a large tent filled with the kind of flowy, bedazzled, polyester shirts he thinks of as “PTA Chic” because they also happen to have a large fan blowing.

“Lookin’ for something in particular, sugar?” The tent owner saunters over to Dean, her Southern accent thick and her top scandalously low. She’s stunningly pretty, and Dean’s eyes and smile light up out of a lifetime of habit. She responds in kind, dragging her eyes down, then back up Dean’s body. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were lookin’ for more than clothes.”

Dean chuckles and flashes her his best charming, but chagrined smile. He feels a little guilty for leading her on, and he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. “Oh sweetheart, if I were single, I’d gladly take you up on that offer, but I’ve already got my special someone.” Dean nods to the honey booth next door.

Her eyes trail over to where Dean gestured, and for a split second her brow furrows in confusion before she laughs just a little, more incredulous than cruel. “You really want someone like that over me?”

Dean looks over at Cas. And, yeah, Dean gets the question. He’s a grown-ass man wearing cargo shorts, carrying a canvas bag with the most obnoxious sunglasses-wearing beach ball Dean has ever seen, and his hair looks like it's been electrocuted. Dean grins, feeling a rush of fondness for his dorky, criminally unfashionable angel.

“Yeah,” he says softly, without an ounce of hesitation. There’s no one else in the world for him but Cas. “Yeah, I do.”

The fifth time Dean says it, Cas is the only other person around for miles. He drags Cas out of bed bright and early one Saturday, forcing him into the car before he’s even fully finished his coffee. Cas allows it, only because he can tell Dean is positively vibrating with nervous energy. Dean brushes off all of his prying questions during the long drive until they finally arrive at a small, peaceful meadow in the middle of nowhere.

He’s packed a lunch, because ostensibly this outing is meant to be a picnic, even though Cas is suspicious on that fact alone. Dean never picnics. It doesn’t really matter though, because Dean is too nervous to even consider eating.

“So why are we really here?” Cas asks after a few minutes of nibbling at his chips. Dean’s sandwich lays untouched on the blanket.

Dean steels his nerve and takes a deep breath. “Do you know where this is?” he asks, fighting the jittery bouncing of his heartbeat to keep his voice steady.

Cas nods. “This is where I returned when Jack resurrected me.” He looks around, smiling down at the flowers surrounding the two of them. The windmill behind him creaks softly in the wind.

“And where I spread your ashes.” Dean’s fidgeting fingers find a frayed edge on the blanket, and he starts picking at it.

Cas nods again and remains silent, patiently waiting for Dean to find the rest of his words.

“And it’s…” Dean pulls a thread out of the blanket and lets it fly away in the wind. “This is where I realized I love you. I’m an idiot who didn’t even realize how much I loved you until after you were gone.”

Cas leans forward and rests his hand on Dean’s knee, warm and reassuring. Dean continues, “At the time I’d thought, ‘I can’t do this. I don’t want to live without him.’ Which was stupid because you were already dead. It didn’t matter what I wanted.”

Cas squeezes his knee. His eyes are gentle. “We’re both okay now.”

Dean’s heart warms. “Yeah. We are. But you know I...That feeling’s never gone away. You and me? I want us to be forever.” Dean reaches into his pocket. There’s no small velvet box, no shimmering diamonds, just a thick band of practical silver he found at a pawn shop. He looks down at the ring with a tender smile. “Man, never in a million years did I think I’d ever be doing this,” he marvels, and when he looks up, Cas’ eyes are wide with surprise.

“Dean?” His normally steady voice wavers.

Dean reaches for Cas’ face, his thumb gently stroking across his cheek. He holds up the ring. “What do you say, Cas? Wanna go legit about this?”

Cas’ expression is impossibly soft, eyes overflowing with love and devotion. He swallows thickly around a lump in his throat and takes the ring from Dean. He slides it onto his finger and stares at it like it’s his own personal miracle.

“You’re serious, Dean? You really want to get married?”

Dean smiles as he leans in close. Just before he kisses his new fiance, he whispers, “Of course I do.”

The sun is setting, casting long shadows down the sand. The shifting winds coming from the sea carry a chill, making the little crowd gathered around them draw their jackets close and huddle together, but the smiles on their faces are nothing but warm. There’s no altar. No stage. No decorations. Just Cas and Dean, standing in front of the ocean, wearing their favorite flannels and jeans, two bright yellow black-eyed susans pinned to their shirts--stolen right out of someone’s garden on their way to the beach.

They didn’t even bother trying to put out chairs for the ceremony, not knowing how many of their friends and family would be able to make the long drive to see Dean get hitched to his angel, but in the end it’s a good thing, because damn near everyone came, and they need to crowd in close to hear them over the wind.

It’s completely and utterly perfect.

Dean grins, unable to take his eyes off Cas while Donna, the only member of his overly-emotional family he trusts not to bawl her eyes out through the ceremony, finishes the last of their vows.

“Do you, Castiel, take Dean Winchester to be your, well, not so lawfully wedded husband?”

There’s a twitter of laughter from the crowd. Cas smiles a sweet, crooked smile and squeezes Dean’s hand. “I do.” His voice is soft, meant for Dean’s ears only, because Dean is the only one his promise matters to.

“And do you, Dean Winchester, FBI’s Most Wanted, thrice dead criminal, and the terribly generous gentleman who will surely be covering our drinks on this celebratory evening, take Castiel to be your husband?”

Dean looks at Cas. Even in the dim light of the setting sun, his eyes are impossibly blue. His smile is so warm Dean knows he’ll never feel cold again, so long as he can see it every day. Dean beams back and proclaims loud enough for everyone on the beach to hear, “Oh hell yes!”

#userstarry #starrynightdeancas gift exchange #bipridedean #tuserari #destiel #deancas #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic #destiel fanfiction #deancas fanfiction #destiel wedding #deancas wedding #dean winchester #castiel #spn #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #katie writes things

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bijoharvelle · 4 years

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Destiel prompt: “I told you something safe / something I’ve never said before” (Animal by Troye Sivan)

When night comes, when they’ve all had their share of hugs and tearful reunions, when Jack has come and left again, when Eileen has fallen asleep on the couch, when Claire has driven the five hours straight to crash into Cas’s arms, when night comes, Dean leads Cas to his room. Miracle trots behind them, dancing a little at Cas’s heels.

“She likes you,” Dean says, once Cas sits on the edge of the bed and Miracle leaps into his lap with a bark.

“She’s very sweet.” Cas is gently ruffling along under Miracle’s ears, smiling. “I wouldn’t have expected you to take in a dog.”

Dean loiters in the doorway and puts a hand to the back of his neck. How can he explain it? You were gone and I couldn’t move. You were gone and I had to force myself to speak so that it burned my throat. You were gone and everyone was gone but there was a dog. Instead, he doesn’t say anything. He just walks to Cas, stands in front of him and tries to breath.

Cas tilts his head up and they’re sharing one of those stares like they used to, like back when Cas was still trying to convince Dean to give himself over to an archangel. Something in Dean has shifted, though, because know he knows what Cas sees when he looks at him. He knows what Cas sees right now, looking at him.

With gentle hands, because he still loves her more than he can explain, Dean moves Miracle so that she’s on the bed beside them. And then he sinks, slowly, to his knees. He’s between Cas’s legs and Cas is looking at him with eyes that are so incredibly kind. Self-doubt kicks up some dust, tells him he doesn’t deserve that kindness, those eyes, this love. But he remembers what Cas told him.

“You told me something,” Dean begins. “Before The Empty took you, before you saved me. You told me something I’ve never heard before.”

“Dean, we don’t have--”

Dean cuts Cas with his hands cupping over his knees. He straightens, up off his heels, so that his eyes are closer to Cas’s and he breathes out slow. “Now I want to tell you something.”

“I told you, it was enough for me just to say it. I don’t need anything more.” Cas’s face is broken open and he’s smiling at Dean.

“No, I want to. I need to. I want to tell you something. Something true, something safe.” He sighs and Cas’s lets his hand over Dean’s cheek. “I want to tell you something I’ve never said before.”

Dean closes his eyes. Cas leans forward and lets his lips rest on Dean’s forehead.

“I love you, Cas. I love you, too. Of course, I do.” Dean swallows thick but it’s not pained or shot through with regret like his prayer in Purgatory had been. “I love you and that’s something you deserve. You deserve to know that I love you, that we all love you. And I...” Dean opens his eyes. “I deserve to have you love me.”

“Of course, you do.”

When they kiss, it’s soft and tender and something that Dean doesn’t think he’s ever had. It’s a future and it’s a promise.

“Would you stay?” Dean asks. “Would you stay here? With me?”

“Always,” Cas answers.

“Tonight?” Dean asks, nodding to indicate the bed. “Tonight and all the other nights. Cas...”

Cas shakes his head and kisses Dean’s forehead again, firm and sure. “I’m here, Dean. And I won’t leave. Not as long as you want me.”

“I want you,” Dean admits and he rises. He takes Cas’s hand, and they settle into the bed, together.

#deancas ficlet #deancas #destiel ficlet #destiel #spn ficlet #my stuff #my fanfic #prompts #wingsdestiel

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brakingpoint · 3 years

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finally dropping my ranking of the top 5 formula one races of the year

1. hungary. name ONE thing that happened in this race that wasn't iconic. lap one turn one. charles getting crashed out and immediately going on twitter to complain. the inimitable high of finally calming down enough to look at the timings during the red flag and seeing latifi p3. and it's lights out and away we go for lewis hamilton only. EVERYTHING BAR LOVERS??? ocon win. double williams points. max dragging literally half a car into the points. sebastian vettel living (podium) serving cunt (almost getting in trouble for his macklemore tribute shirt and pretending he just forgot to take it off) and dying (getting disqualified). this race had EVERYTHING

2. baku. godawful day for max and lewis girls alike. absolutely tremendous day for seb girls and pierre girls and piarles girls ("with pierre it was hot" - charles leclerc, 2021). certainly A Day of all time for people who are all of the above (me)

3. monza. i literally did a shoey in real life

4. russia. i watched this one in a pub and it was the correct decision in every possible way. never understood that tweet about the point of sports being "being sad in a group" until everyone in that room saw lando slowly slide away at the same time

5. belgium. was it a race? no. was it an absolute shitshow? yes. do the fans who bought tickets deserve proper monetary compensation instead of a fucking f1tv subscription? obviously. but on the other hand i can't think of anything f1blr needed more, considering how we were all stressed and terrified about this race, than just getting a 4 hour broadcast of extremely bored idiot men trying to pass the time. it's like in anime where they all go to the beach for an episode to ease the tension between major plot arcs

honourable "not a race" mention: monaco qualifying. the race itself was boring as all hell (apart from valtteri's world's longest pit stop) but when charles got POLE in MONACO by BINNING THE CAR the collective mood on my dash literally felt like the f1blr equivalent of the day destiel went canon

honourable "not even a sporting event" mention: yachtgate, which was ACTUALLY the f1blr equivalent of the day destiel went canon

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steveyockey · 4 years

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the fact that we textually got the same or more than korrasami but bc of fandom politics korrasami is perceived as undoubtedly canon and destiel is perceived as “only canon if ur a shipper” is so sad sjdjdjdmd sorry this is random but i was just thinking about it

this is deeply embarrassing because talking about the legend of korra finale makes me cry so you should know I’m powering through this response in an emotional state.

the surface reading here is correct but when it comes to specifics I think korrasami deserves substantially more credit that this estimation gives it. korrasami was never queerbait — quite honestly, as someone who shipped it at the time, there was NO possibility in my mind we would ever “win.” it was just cute! it was enough that we knew they would make a good couple and we felt kind of superior that we “cracked” the show with a reading that amicably resolved the stilted love triangle hoisted upon us all the way back at the season 1 finale (it’s important to remember that legend of korra was CONSTANTLY in danger of being canceled throughout its run; the makorra season 1 finale kiss was pushed through despite the lack of build-up because the animators weren’t sure they were getting a season 2). up until the series finale, even noting the deepening relationship depicted between korra and asami throughout book 4 and mako’s disavowal of intentions to pursue a future relationship with korra as made clear in “remembrances,” it was simply not a consideration that korrasami could go canon — there were no lgbt characters on children’s cartoons! gay marriage wasn’t legal! though atla may have ended by confirming kataang, they weren’t required to end the show by canonizing any sort of pairing. and they didn’t need to! it’s korra’s story.

I realize the final episode of legend of korra in the current media landscape might not look like much, but if you can imagine what it was like at the time! gratifying! boundary pushing! a dream come true! and if there was any remaining question about what the last scene implied, co-creators bryan konietzko and michael dimartino both confirmed that korrasami was canon, with the notable caveat (from bryan)

Was it a slam-dunk victory for queer representation? I think it falls short of that, but hopefully it is a somewhat significant inching forward.

it’s a little cringe but this pbs idea channel video (which I probably watched the week it came out) does a good job recapping the mechanics at play. and since the series made it to netflix there has been even more discussion of its impact and the ways in which other tv shows have benefitted from korrasami. the levee broke! mr. ratburn got married! catradora kissed! all in part because korra and asami walked hand in hand into their new life together.

as far as comparisons to destiel go, this should be apparent, but the clear consequential difference to me is that the creators were willing to own and discuss their decisions. bryke were not obligated to address the stipulations of korra and asami’s relationship, but they chose to and they allowed for korrasami to become bigger than just the show. and both of the actresses have been relentlessly positive about the ship! this is not a matter of fandom politics, it’s really just that the authority on what supernatural means remains disputed territory even to the point that its own writers will not talk about the explicit canonical gay love confession of one of their characters after over a DECADE of malicious baiting! it would not have been hard for them to make themselves the hero here and yet they simply chose to sidestep all of it. for like the millionth time on this blog I have to say, again, that the way we win is just by continuing to insist we have the authority. because we do! we always do but especially in the show where authorgod visits a fanfic writer literally to discuss his shitty series finale.

all of that accounted for, the note I want to end on is that this poem remains one of my favorites,

The beloved body that bore you across any distance wept, I wish the earth only moved when I let it. My life, standing still despite this fact is, too, an act of defiance. It is not the moon’s light that demands our praise but the distance it travels to reach us.

#obviously there's a lot of fucked up politics in legend of korra that i won't defend #i will defend a lot of pacing issues as resulting. again. from the fact that nick like. HATED this show #and was determined to stop paying for it even as it was airing and being made #anyway. i will now become normal again #except probably reblog several korrasami things #answered #korrasami #anon #this is the post from when i said i was going crazy on the track. i did indeed go crazy on the track.#for NO reason

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whyqueerbaitingisbad · 4 years

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movies & shows

cracks knuckles* alright this is going to be more of a rant than an analysis because i’m basing this on both my research, but also how it felt to personally be baited by these shows. there are obviously more pieces of bad (almost every horror movie) and good ones but these are the ones i’ve watched.

please keep in mind that i am but one queer and everyone has different opinions.

Supernatural (CW) 2005

This show is 15 years old and just ended. From season 5 till 15, there has been tension between two of the lead characters. They were constantly shipped together and not only did the entire fandom know about this ship but so did almost all of Tumblr. On top of that, the actors and show runners knew about it as well. Which is why it makes it ridiculous that it was constantly pushed aside while the romantic coding kept happening, even after show runners dismissed it as being intentional. The Destiel (Dean x Cas) case has been going on for years, and as the show came to its end, many fans had hope. But N O P E. Instead, we got a love confession from Cas where Dean looked like he was near constipated and the Cas was killed and sent into a fiery place that was not hell but s u p e r h e l l.

… w hy.

Sherlock (BBC) 2010

Just like Supernatural, this show was renown on Tumblr for not only how good it was, but its hinting at a potential relationship between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. But again, like Supernatural, the intentional tension between the two characters was denied by producers. This caused an uproar within the fandom, and even left some people believing that, after the last season aired, it had been a joke and the producers were hiding a “secret, unaired season” because they had felt so robbed by this show that had implied something and denied it.

The 100 (CW) 2014

We got lesbians. We got background gays. We were happy. Then, all of a sudden, one of them is killed for no reason. Did it advance the plot? No. Was she fighting and died in battle? lol no. She was doing literally nothing and got shot and died. And then the producers kept bringing her back once a season in the form of a ghost or illusion because why? Because she was a fan favourite queer character. ✨bury your gays and sparingly bring them back for profit anyone?✨

Voltron: Legendary Defender (Netflix) 2016

*deep breathe* This one is a special disaster. Not only was there romantic tension and romantically coded scenes for 7 seasons, but producers, voice actors and artists working on the show repeatedly said “don’t worry klance (Keith x Lance) shippers, you’ll be happy”

. … w h e r e??? You code one of their scenes with a sunset in the background while they talk about love and then one of them goes on a date with someone who has declined his advances for 7 seasons but now in season 8 decides to do a full 180. Not only that, but you announce at a Comic Con (a convention) that a character is gay and has a fiancé, only to kill off the fiancé and never make it explicit in the show except at the last second of the last episode where he marries a no name character.

Personally, i’d like to say a big fuck you to the show that strung me along for 2 years and never stopped saying we’d be happy to then pull the rug out from under us and call us crazy for thinking anything from the past 8 seasons was intentional.

Scooby-Doo (2002)

While not being outwardly queerbaiting, this movie’s filmmaker has just revealed some shocking news, which wasn’t at all shocking to the gays who had watched this movie over the years. In July of 2020, James Gunn, the filmmaker of Scooby-Doo, revealed in a podcast that, initially, Velma was explicitly gay in his script, but then the studio watered it down until it became nothing. This isn’t an example of baiting as much as it is changing a character’s initial design to “better fit an audience”. The worst part of all this is that with Velma’s character having been written with a l i t t l e queer subtext, people had been theorizing about if since the movie came out, but were always yelled at by the internet for “imagining something that isn’t there”. But now, even with it being said that the initial point was for her to be gay, people have no objections to still refusing to accept it. Why?? So we can’t get the subtext gays OR the confirmed gays?? Make it make sense.

Brooklyn 99 (NBC) 2013

To have the queer characters firstly introduced without mentioning their sexualities and have it brought up naturally was so goddamn nice to see, because no one does a big deal about it unless they ask for that. This show is amazing in general but the way they show their queer characters is *chefs kiss*.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix) 2018

This. Show. My heart SOARS. It's just a remake of an old show so absolutely nothing was ever expected, but then it was sprinkled in and ENDED WITH A BANG. And it was so beautiful and real to see the struggle of two friends who care for each other and want to be together but have different visions of the world fall in love. And they also had characters with disabilities, a non-binary character and jUST SUCH A GOOD SHOW.

Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts (Netflix) 2020

This is a case where you go into it not expecting anything and are BLOWN AWAY by the bare minimum. And not because it’s bad!! It's mind blowing because this is the simple representation we need!! Not something over the top, but an every day relationship. It’s just two boys falling in love and going on dates and being nervous around each other, yet i was so stunned. Because it’s not shown enough. I should not be this excited over something that should be this normal. 10/10 though this show is so good for all kinds of representation.

Steven Universe (Cartoon Network) 2013

This show did so much for queer representation with its general message of loving everyone and loving who you want. Especially since it was aired on Cartoon Network, a channel for kids, it was able to help normalize something so looked down upon in some circles. It made it easy to watch for s o m e people because it's a cartoon but it's so beautiful to see these ladies so in love with each other, both platonically and romantically and we see them have a family dynamic that isn’t a “nuclear family”. Rebecca Sugar (creator) really said “lemme just break all stereotypes real quick”.

Adventure Time (Cartoon Network) 2010

It's the “knowing a fanbase shipped something so hard that the creators made it canon” for me. This relationship had been theorized by fans for years, but it had never been explicit in the show. When the finale episode came out and the two shared a kiss, it was a moment of celebration. The producer of the show said that it had not really been planned but when the episode was being made, the choice of what happened was given to one of the artists (bless your soul Hanna K. Nyströmthe). And as the show releases little bonus episodes, its latest was centered around Marceline and Bubblegum and their relationship. AND WE LOVE TO SEE OUR DOMESTIC LESBIANS BEING HAPPY AND IN LOVE.

Yuri on Ice!!! (anime) 2016

The fact that an A N I M E gave us a love story between two men is mind boggling and it makes me so happy!! Especially because it's a Japanese show and they’re very conservative about these things just makes it more emotional. The creators said they wanted to make the anime take place in a world where gay/straight isn’t a thing, it’s just love (ladies, you’re going to make me cry). So as the weekly episodes came out and fans start speculating, THEY GAVE US THE LAST FEW EPISODES FULL OF ROMANCE AND EMOTIONAL SCENES BETWEEN THE TWO AND THEN THEY GET R I N GS?!???!! You watch for the figure skating, you stay for the figure skaters that are in love.

Shadowhunters (Freeform) 2016

*insert me being frustrated that the actors are straight so we can move on from that disappointment*

This show really said “let’s name a whole episode after this couple because they deserve it”. But seriously, they gave us two characters whose entire plot does not center around their sexualities while still showing us the differences in a relationship between someone experienced and someone new at this. They were both powerful and amazing characters apart from each other, with their own story lines and goals but they loved each other so much omgs. SO MUCH.

It was so great to watch.

Love, Simon (2018)

There’s a lot of disagreement on whether this movie is good representation or not. However, we need to take into consideration that this was Hollywood’s first movie with a main character that was gay, where the story’s focus was on Simon’s love story. The biggest problem, for me at least, was that the actor playing Simon is a straight man and not queer. My problem is not with him, but the fact that there are other actors that are gay and that could have played Simon just as well. (the love interested was however played by a queer actor so ✨progress✨)

All in all, this movie does represent what a lot of queer kids have to go through: being outed at school, how they then come out, the bullying and doubt they go through.

The book is also really good.

Call Me By Your Name (2018)

This movie is so aesthetically pleasing and was able to capture the confusion and heartbreak felt by a boy who’s struggling with his own feelings towards a man. His inner conflict and joy and l o v e he feels but doesn’t know how to deal with is so well communicated through the screen and just breaks your heart because it feels so real.

But again, they could’ve gotten gay actors to play gay characters…

through having this list here, i want to show you that it’s not hard for creators to give good queer representation. the LGBTQ+ community isn’t asking for much, we just want to be well represented on screen as just a regular character, not some token queer kid there for the diversity points. having been exposed to so much queerbaiting and just not seeing any representation on screen, i always get over-excited when i see a queer character, and that’s not how it should be. it should be a normal thing, something you can find in most pieces of media, just like there’s a straight white cisgender person in everything.

and they seriously need to start casting queer actors for queer characters...

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sidecarghost · 4 years

Text

15x18+ Spn Coda Happy Destiel Ending Fic

Dean was in a hospital bed. His eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. There were no doctors, but Sam brought him here to take advantage of the medical equipment. He found his brother like a corpse with his eyes open sitting with his back against the wall of the bunker’s dungeon.

Chuck stopped by now and then to make sure Sam and Jack still looked miserable. They had not disappointed Chuck yet.

Jack could visit Dean’s dreams, and he brought Sam too in an attempt to awaken Dean. But Dean was blind to their presence. No matter how loud they screamed, Dean couldn’t hear them. And Dean couldn’t feel them, no matter how violently they hit him.

From what Sam could tell Dean was dreaming they were working with Michael to take Chuck down. And that Jack had some kind of power vacuum ability. Michael and Lucifer were throwing fireballs at eachother like a couple kids having a snowball fight. Lucifer somehow snapped Death out of existence, and now they had a pet dog running around the Bunker.

“It’s not supernatural, Sam,” Jack said. “I can’t fix him.”

“I know,” Sam held his brother’s hand and watched the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. “That Heaven he is stuck in is so depressing though Jack. Jeez I can’t believe our dad is there with him. John definitely didn’t deserve to go to Heaven after the shit he pulled. Then Dean was talking like he was an actor from the AU where our lives were a tv show on that bridge. It’s just so bizarre I wish we could ease his mind.”

“Me too, but what can we do?” Jack asks.

“Something must have happened to Cas,” Sam says, “Dean keeps starting the same dream over and over telling the dream us that Cas saved him. By summoning the Empty somehow.”

“Cas had made a deal with the Empty. Maybe that let him summon the Empty here,” Jack said. Sam raised an eyebrow in question, so Jack explained the terms of the deal to Sam. The deal was a contract to save Jack’s soul, and the Empty would wait until Cas was happy and then strike him down and drag him away.

“So maybe the Empty has something to do with Dean going catatonic,” Sam says.

Sam and Jack watch the still body of Dean in the hospital bed.

They were the last three souls on an empty planet.

Jack started performing the ritual he had seen Nick do to summon Lucifer from the Empty.

As the spell finished, Cas and Billie, emerged through a portal from the Empty.

Sam was surprised to see Billie and after glancing towards Jack it looked like he was too.

“Jack!” Cas hugged Jack and then Sam. “Hello Sam, where’s Dean?”

“He’s gone into a coma Cas,” Sam tells Cas. “We found him sitting against the bunker’s dungeon wall, and he hasn’t been responsive since then.”

“We have business Castiel,” Billie tells the angel.

“Billie, the CE, and I have decided Chuck needs to be stopped, and we have put aside our differences for the time being,” Cas says. “Jack can you help Billie with whatever she needs. Sam, show me where Dean is.”

Jack and Billie find Chuck and use a powerful spell that Billie learned from the CE to free Amara so she becomes the dominant form and Chuck is left trapped inside her mind for safe keeping. Amara snaps her fingers and the Rapture is undone. The world is full of noise once more as people and animals once again appear as though they had never left.

Amara tells Billie and Jack that she needs to leave and work to get Heaven fixed. Now that she understands light and darkness she is confident she can restore what her brother left broken. And she has ideas that may help the CE in the Empty too.

Billie thanks Jack for his help and leaves to restore order to her library and her reapers.

Meanwhile, Sam took Cas to the hospital room. Dean was still staring at the ceiling. Cas walked up and cupped Dean’s face in his hand.

“Hello Dean,” Cas says softly staring down into the blank eyes of the man he loves.

Dean remained motionless. And a moment later Cas appeared in Dean’s dream.

Cas looked around and saw he was at a gas station. Dean was carrying a dog towards the Impala.

“Who would think finding a dog would be a miracle?” Cas overhears Dean tell the canine.

“Dean!” Cas yells.

Dean looks up, but he doesn’t see Cas. He looks right through Cas to something across the street. Cas turns and sees Chuck standing there laughing like a lunatic. The dog disappears in a puff of smoke.

Cas can’t get Dean’s attention. He runs up to Dean, but Dean can’t see him. He yells at Dean, but Dean can’t hear him. He punches Dean, but Dean can’t feel him.

Cas attempts to burn down the church where Michael is hiding but no one reacts to the raging inferno. They keep talking about some plan to defeat Chuck.

“Stop Dean!” Cas yells “Its not Chuck. Michael would be dead Chuck isn’t going to be fooled by some human house of worship.”

Dean is in the bunker, and Cas follows him through his dream never leaving his side. Dean hears the phone ring and answers “Cas!”

Cas wonders if he’s about to meet his dream self. He wonders if dream Cas is going to be taller. Cas watched Dean sprint up the stairs to meet him at the bunker door. And he sees Lucifer?

Well at least Lucifer is an enemy they have confidently beaten before. Cas ignores dream Lucifer and starts looking through the lore while dream Michael and dream Lucifer engage in some embarrassing snowball fight. Cas tries to tune it out while he searching desperately for something in the library that could help Dean’s condition.

Suddenly they are all at the side of a lake. Chuck killed Michael. And now he was beating the snot out of Sam and Dean. Cas tried to put his body as a shield between Chuck and the Winchester’s but no one was affected by his presence. Cas screamed in bitterness and frustration, but no one paid attention to him. Jack walked over and knocked Chuck down. Cas was relieved that Dean wasn’t getting hit anymore.

They got into the Impala and drove to some town. Jack made people appear and then Jack disappeared. Sam and Dean drove to the bunker. Dean drank himself to sleep and Cas watched over him.

The brothers started working a case and Cas watched in horror as a vampire in a mask pushed Dean into a spike.

Cas couldn’t watch Dean die not even in a dream. Cas grabbed his angel blade and slit his own throat. Cas was cutting his grace out. He hoped that if Dean had angel grace he’d snap out of it. Cas began to feel light headed from the quick drop in power.

Cas knelt down on the barn floor. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Dean smiling at him. The dream vampires and dream Sam all had disappeared. Cas and Dean were alone in the dark barn. Dean looked unhurt to Cas.

“Cas, why are you hurt?” Dean asked.

“You are in a coma Dean. I couldn’t wake you, and I thought angels don’t sleep. So I wanted to give you my grace,” Cas said.

Dean knelt down beside Cas, and put Cas’s hand to his own neck. “Heal yourself Cas!” Dean said with worry furrowed on his brow.

“I can’t Dean. I gave it all. I’m human now.” Cas smiled. Cas knew his situation was dire and now he’d bleed out. But he got to see his Dean again, and he couldn’t help from smiling. “I thought I lost you. Dean, does this barn remind you of the night we met?”

“Forget about the memories Cas. I want the real you. I’ve been stuck in this dream over and over. And I knew if I could just find you I’d snap out of it. You can’t leave buddy. We just found each other again. I thought you were gone forever. Because you never told me goodbye before,” Dean whispers to Cas. Dean puts his own hand over Cas’s throat and to his surprise his hand glows and Cas’s throat is healed.

“Cas, what the fuck?” Dean asks Cas.

“Uhh, you have my grace so now you have angelic powers.” Cas tells Dean.

“I don’t want them, Cas. Can I give them back? How do I fix this?” Dean asks. Dean stands up and offers Cas his hand to help him up.

“There is nothing to fix, Dean. I don’t need those powers anymore. I’d like to live a human life.” Cas looks at Dean.

“Cas, I think losing you. It broke something inside me. Everytime I lose you it gets harder for me to recover. When you pulled me out of Hell, I was torturing souls and I enjoyed it. Ever since then I’ve been barely keeping it together. I close my eyes and see myself ripping limbs off of humans with a smile on my face. Cas, you are the only one that knows that and still loves me. You have seen me at my worst and love me for me.” Dean tells Cas.

“Who you were then, that’s not who you are now. That doesn’t define you,” Cas says. “You—” Dean leans in to kiss Cas on the lips. Then Dean pulls back and looks at Cas. Cas appears totally astonished, and Dean smiles at Cas because he’s beautiful and amazing.

“I love you, Cas. I never believed in angels or a greater power before we met. I only believed in the things I could see. But then I met you Cas. You gave up Heaven, and everything you had ever known because you believed in doing the right thing. You believed in us. You fought for us.” Dean said, “You are more than an angel to me. You are my Cas.” Dean wraps his arms around Cas. “Cas, can we get out of here?”

“Yes Dean, you just need to wake up,” Cas says.

Cas blinks and is back in the hospital with Dean and Sam. The hospital also has nurses and technicians walking along the hallways.

“Hey Cas! It looks like the Rapture got reversed.” Sam looks at Cas. “Um... any luck with Dean?”

“Yes Sam, actually Dean was the one that pulled me out of the dream,” Cas said.

“Oh wow really?” Sam walked over to the side of Dean’s bed and leaned over to see if there was any change in Dean. Dean’s eyes were still open and looking on the ceiling. Then Sam felt an arm grab his shoulder and shake him, and Sam found himself flinching involuntarily.

“Got you!” Dean laughed.

“Go to hell,” Sam rolled his eyes and then leaned in to hug his brother.

Dean hopped out of bed, and asked Sam if he could borrow his knife. Sam nods and hands his brother his blade. Then Sam announces he has a text from Eileen, and he’ll be back in a bit.

“Where’s Jack?” Dean asks.

“Here I am,” Jack appears in the room. An orderly screams. “Oh don’t worry I’m a magician, and that was part of my magic act,” Jack tells the frightened orderly.

Dean grabs a specimen cup out of a drawer and slices his neck. The grace drips into the specimen cup. After it’s filled Dean replaces the lid on the jar.

“Dean, I meant it before I don’t want my grace back,” Cas says.

Jack reaches out to heal Dean’s neck. “Here Jack can you keep this in a pocket dimension for safe keeping?” Dean hands Jack the jar.

Jack nods his head and disappears. Another orderly screams but the first orderly explains it’s part of a magic act.

“I’m glad you still don’t want your grace,” Dean walks over to Cas and reaches out to hold his hands. “I’m ready to try new things. The stress of hunting has been wearing me down. I’m running on adrenaline and I am barely coping anymore. I’m too tired to feel anything but anger most of the time. I want to find some peace, and I’d like to grow old with you Cas.”

“And I’d like to grow old with you, Dean Winchester.” Cas says.

They share a kiss and then another. “Dean if we’re still in your coma, I don’t want to wake up,” Cas says.

“No Cas, we’re not dreaming. This is real. We’re real,” Dean tells Cas while punctuating the answer with kisses under his jawline. “And now that we have each other, nothing can drag us apart.”

#destiel fic #Destiel coda #Destiel fix it #Destiel series finale rewrite #gum writes

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qwertyfingers · 4 years

Note

we know that bobby only watched ds9 and dean watched the tos movies for sure which implies he's seen tos as well (plus he calls jack spock). so what do you think everyone's favorite trek is? sam is without a doubt a tng fan first and foremost. i think out of all tos movies cas prefers the wrath of khan because he Feels Things when kirk and spock do the ta'al through the glass. charlie has definitely seen some trek (we've seen her llap), do you think she's into tos first and foremost? anyway let's talk about star trek nights in the bunker.

OKAY SO I HAVE. MANY MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG.

like. like of COURSE bobby only likes ds9 of course he does i could have told you this without the show becuase like. bobby is That Bitch. i think rufus will have watched TOS at least because leonard nimoy worked hard on linking jewish faith and practices into the vulcan lore and i think that would mean something to him. bobby will catch rufus smiling at him sometimes while they’re watching ds9 and ask him what all gruffly and rufus will smirk at him and say something about sisko with jake and bobby with dean and bobby will just cough and take a swig of whiskey and rufus will raise his eyebrows but let it slide. rufus definitely makes a comment once about dean&cas being like jake&nog that totally flies over dean’s head but bobby is all knowing eyebrow raise about.

i think cas and jack would really like discovery. while it has some issues with inconsistency, pacing, being a little dark, it also does better than the other TV treks at utilising the nature of film as a medium to instill a sense of wonder, at space and the world, and that’s something they’d really appreciate. i have my own issues with disco, but an obol for charon is as close to the central core of trek that disco ever gets. cas and jack also like that one in particular because they like listening to all the different languages being spoken. they all love michael (everyone loves michael). cas’ faves are stamets and reno because they’re mean and gay, jack’s fave is tilly because she’s excitable and bright and he latches onto that. dean likes reno because she’s got spunk. sam’s fave is airiam and he will never forgive them for killing her off. sam, cas and dean all feel an uncomfortable kinship with both ash and culber - they’ve both been the one with monster teeming under the surface, controleld by something not themself, but they’ve also all spent that time in hell/purgatory, separated from everyone they love.

thinking about episodes that would really get to them all, darmok is. THE ONE. i have a whole unfinished essay about darmok as the platonic ideal of star trek; the perfect distillation of everything trek is SUPPOSED to be about. it doens’t always get there but by god it tries! that speech michael gives in the disco s2 finale - “There's a whole galaxy of people out there who will reach for you. You have to let them. Find that person who seems farthest from you and reach for them.” - that’s what darmok is about!!! it’s all about a situation where real communication seems impossible, where everything we know about talking and learning has broken down. and picard says, okay, i will find another way. i can’t relate to you, you can’t relate to me, but by god i’m going to try. we all meet people we have trouble communicating with in our lives, and often, those people will not care about changing their own ways to accommodate us. for people with autism, adhd, psychosis, the list goes on, this is a very common occurrence. it’s exhausting and frustrating and alienating. darmok is all about crossing that barrier. about reaching for someone through a world of difficulty and learning how to talk. learning how to share something with someone who seems out of our reach. it’s beautiful, it’s heartwrenching, it means more to me than i can easily put into words!

anyway i think the bunker fam would experience a lot of emotions watching it together. there’s defintiely a lot of hugging eachother, sam cries a lot and won’t look at anyone until after the episode ends. jack just asks a lot of questions and talks about his progress learning sign language with cas. dean snakes his hand into cas’ halfway through and doesn’t let go. doesn’t show the emotion on his face, but he clutches harder at the emotional beats. cas runs his fingers through jack’s hair and thinks a lot, and decides not to say anything unless dean talks first. its just a Lot for everyone.

dean def makes them marathon all the TOS and TNG movies. it’s an experience everyone needs at least once. i think you’re right about cas and TWOK with the ta’al through the glass, but also ‘this simple feeling’ and the hand hold would make him feel crazy. bones being the one that spock entrusts with his katra DEF makes dean feel some type of way because as much as destiel is kirkspock-coded, dean IS bones, and seeing spock trust bones so completely despite how at odds they were when they first knew eachother would dig deep into dean’s psyche and make him more than a little bit nutso. the movies are way too long for jack so he mostly sits and plays animal crossing while they watch and looks at the screen when everyone else gasps or when something exciting is happening that holds his attention for a while. sam’s fave is nemesis precisely because it’s terrible and he loves how camp it is.

dean has definitely seen all of trek. i refuse to believe someone who watches as much tv and films as dean wouldn’t sit and watch the whole shebang. i think he’s probably seen TOS and the TOS movies more than the others because its easier than sitting through 7 seasons, but i think rather than that being his favourite he’d just have really strong opinions about the best episodes of each one? like if you asked him what his favourite is he’d say you can’t answer that because they’re all so different from eachother

VOY - bride of chaotica, non seqitur, macrocosm for the favourite episodes. seven, janeway and tuvok would be his favourite characters. he think toms a bit of a knob but also feels a kinship with him for the similar brand of bab dad-ism but he wouldn’t be able to put that into words. he’s also a fierce defender of threshold being a good episode (he’s right for that)

DS9 - our man bashir it’s our man bashir. he doesn’t dislike ds9 but its very plot heavy and he didn’t care for it when he was younger. rewatching it after living through multiple supernatural wars he’d probably appreciate it more. i know for a fact he cries every time there’s an episode about sisko being a good dad. jadzia and garak are his faves

TNG - he LOVES q. he also absolutely will not be caught dead referencing how much loves q after cas comes into his life because sam will do the little brotherly knowing eyebrow raise at him and he will die of embarrassment. he regularly references ‘there are four lights’ because he’s a fucking nerd. he has made cas watch elementary my dear data and fistful of datas a half dozen times each at LEAST. cas KNEW how dean was going to be about the cowboy hat he’s defintiely got into full cowboy getup at home just for watching movies and in cas’ head star trek is fully to blame.

TOS - oh there are so many good TOS eps to choose from. obv he loves most of the series becuase TOS has MANY banger eps, his favourites are probably like. mirror mirror, amok time (baby dean defintiely had some kind of crisis watching it for the first time; i know the rituals are intricate). i know deep in my bones that dean watched the conscience of the king (introduction of the tarsus iv massacre) once and then spent his entire teenage years writing fic about that in his head, whether he posted it or not. dean related too much to those experiences of shared hunger. city on the edge of forever is one of everyone’s faves for a reason (and i’m STILL mad we never got a closer take on that episode in spn it could have been so fun).

ENT - he definitely thinks enterprise is stupid and he’s not wrong but he has also definitely watched it and been very repressed about the whole thing. mans was like oh i feel a kinship with malcolm reed the obviously repressed queer man. i will never examine this feeling ever again thank you <3 he also makes fun of archer for being obsessed with, of all sports, water polo. shran is his favourite character because he’s a little shit and makes him laugh, and t’pol, because t’pol is a badass and he’d appreciate that. i can’t remember the title of a single episode off the top of my head though lol.

i can see what you’re saying about sam being a TNG stan. i’m conflicted though, I feel like TNG’s generally the favourite of 1) obnoxious nerds who think knowing trivia facts makes them smart, 2) men desperately trying to seem masculine and 3) people who’ve watched it three times and have extremely complex thoughts on the personhood and rights of robots. i could see sam fitting into the third group, but people who are in it for the robot feelings are a coin flip between voyager and tng being the fave, and i just have a feeling that voyager would be his favourite. i know kid sam is getting gender envy watching voyager in shitty motels while dad and dean are out, trying to find the words for it. his first semester at stanford he talks a friend into giving him the janeway haircut and rides that high for months. sam’s favourite characters are seven and EMH.

sam and dean have definitely had dozens of long drawn out debates about philosophical topics in star trek. do the holograms deserve rights and if so which ones. are the romulans and vulcans still meaningfully the same people. was spock right for trying to foment reunification by going undercover on romulus. can the borg be redeemed. etc etc.

i haven’t seen any of picard at all so i can’t comment. i also think sam and dean probably read a lot of the trek books? they’re pretty common to find in secondhand bookstores and cheap, would have been even cheaper back in the day. sam probably doesn’t care for them much, dean has a few solid faves though. i’ve only read the disco books so i can’t comment anything specifically (besides the fact that i think dean read dead endless and cried like a baby), but some of the TOS and DS9 books are gay as hell and i know dean was eyes emoji-ing that shit.

#spn #spn fic #tfw 2.0 #treknatural

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eldritch-elrics · 4 years

Text

memes of 2020

so for the last couple years i’ve been keeping very casual lists every year of the most prominent memes - or, more precisely, whatever memes happen to make their way into my sphere of the internet. here is my list for 2020!

do x or take 25

world war 3

yanderedev discord server ban speedrunning

bernie “i am once again asking for x”

iowa caucus results

a man has fallen into the river in lego city

froggie chair

“do you fart” fish

penis music

animal crossing and doom eternal

disney’s first gay character

person in lab coat with test tube: finally / x

caramelldansen resurgence

babe! it’s 4pm, time for your dick flattening! / yes honey

coronavirus handwashing

biden burying a dog

characters explaining pickle rick

nice cock

hehe x go brrrrr

are ya winning son

music make you lose control / dancing triangle

when the x is y idk i never played the game

choose your quarantine house

gossip girl

the man behind the slaughter

x is returning to nature. we are the virus

facebook group where we all pretend to be ants

redrawing album covers with kk slider

coffin dance

raymond drama

how tf am i an essential worker

random chimp event

me? gongaga

x æ a-12

knuckles meme approved

brazilian football n64 intro

you do not deserve to have raymond on your island

women want me fish fear me

say so by doja cat

i hope this email finds you

trump coin

i heart hole

wait it’s all x? always has been

500 dollar mareep

big book smaller book

femboy hooters

i want to hurt you

straight ship for straight people, gay ship for straight people, etc

x be like “i know a place”

hannibal speech

hello jon apologies for the deception

microwaving ants

you’re crying from x? you’re seriously crying from x?

big buff dog and small dog

cutting up characters and they’re actually realistic cakes

deepfake singing videos (usually of baka mitai)

comic: is that your fucking fursona? that’s cringe

get stickbugged lol

thank goodness, you’re awake! x? y? z? what are you talking about?

pokemon master sex

you’re laughing. i asked x and you’re laughing.

your mother fucking life ends thirty minutes from now

good afternoon girl i’m in the water / girl help

mp100 is leftist propaganda

destruction caused by gender reveal parties

who’s watching? person who pays for the account, girlfriend free pass, parasites

jfk from clone high

my day be so fine, then boom

nothing bad ever happens to the kennedys

good morning to people who x, people who y, people who z,

petting gif maker

da vinky

fall guys anatomy

snapchat anime filter

WHAT… your Trans Gener…….

smack barm pey wet

cheesed to meet you

one bad gloop

hey shitass wanna see me speedrun

i wish all x a very pleasant evening

raybans sunglasses sale

he was forced to eat cement when he was 6

enrichment in enclosure

election memes

destiel canon

castiel went to super hell for being gay

finding out putin resigned because destiel canon

the entirety of nov 5

supernatural resurgence

bingus

so you’re non biney?

four seasons total landscaping

i’m not a fruitcake am i lad?

fruit (derogatory)

obama reading foucault to impress girls in college

i love you in spanish

i guess you are my little pogchamp

story of undertale

person at party: they don’t know that i x

glup shitto

if you x, don’t worry about what’s in the vaccine

twitter carp

biden getting the covid vaccine but he’s actually getting a tattoo

among drip

malewife + girlboss

year in show gifs

#memes 2020 #my post #memes #2020 #long post #i forgot to post my list last year so this year i am making sure to do so #also some of these aren't from 2020 #but they're on the list bc i saw them around lots

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spnfanficpond · 4 years

Text

April 2020 Angel Fish Awards

(New Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle @mrswhozeewhatsis or Mana @manawhaat to check and make sure we got your submission.

**Also, due to the number of afas and multiple nominations, each person on this list will only be tagged once. Please be sure to read the entire post so you don’t miss multiple nominations/comments!**

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE APRIL’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Slow (oneshot) by @sunlightdances

Intimacy is sooooo sexy xox

Nominated by @manawhaat

Ritual (oneshot) by @winchester-fantasies

This fic is grounded, subtle, realistic, and has an incredible energy between Dean and the reader! There’s so many little things that play into the bigger picture to make this really flow and work seamlessly as a whole!

Temporary Scars (series) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Fucking hell. Dean x Donna x Benny is such a rare pair that it’s NOT something I knew I needed, but everything about this dynamic is fucking perfect. It’s a bit of an AU, but I still love the way each character was represented. What they all brought to the table and how they balanced each other out in exactly the ways they needed. There’s a dynamic here that I haven’t seen before, especially not with THESE characters, and they complement each other fucking GORGEOUSLY!

Boyking fic (oneshot) by @whispersandwhiskerburn

This shit is fucking CRAFTY! There’s a lot of little things that carry through this and the way that ‘control’ is presented in each scene of this fic is very cool.

Calm (series) by @winchesterswoonathon

Oof! This John series just totally fucks me up. It’s perfect in the way you swoon over him and yearn to see a side of him he so rarely shows others. Maggie definitely knows how to nail the pining for John angle!

Dream Drabble (oneshot) by @theychosefamily

Sam’s comfort and sincerity in this kill me! It may have been inspired by a dream, but this tracks so well for each of them and could definitely be a scene plucked from the show!

The Unexpected (oneshot) by @impalaimagining

Goddamn this is sexy as all hell! It’s intense and passionate and scary and dazzlingly wonderful!

Nominated by @flamencodiva

Three’s A Crowd (series) by @1000roughdrafts

So I was browsing Kay’s Masterlist and came upon this very lovely Gem! I would love to see what happens next and I know Kay is extremely busy, but she is a talented writer and I wanted to put this lovely work out there. It is a wonderful concept and I can’t wait to see what happens!

Just Me & My Baby (oneshot) by @deanwinchesterswitch

A good way to rot your teeth with Dean fluff. This story pulls on your heartstrings and can be just what you need when you feel down.

The Pact (series) by @coffee-obsessed-writer

This is an amazing AU Sam Fic! It is well written and traps you into the fantasy world from the very beginning. I can’t wait to see the roller coaster that is this story as it is beginning to unfold!

Nominated by @deanwanddamons

The Sullivan Series (series) by @katehuntington

I binge read this series and adore it. Zoe is such a badass and an awesome OFC.

It is so good it could easily be written as a series of SPN and I am really hoping it is continued as I can’t wait for the next series. Kate is such an awesome person, hugely supportive and a big influence on me as a writer. This series deserves so much more recognition.

Ride With Me (seires) by @katehuntington

This series is divine. I am so invested in this right now. The way Kate writes is a true inspiration to me and this AU is stunning. Her story telling and descriptions are totally immersive and I am so excited to see where she takes us on this journey.

He’s Not You (series) by @mummybear

This series is awesome! It’s really building momentum and I’m loving where it’s going. Such a great idea for a story and can’t wait to see where Chelsea takes us!

The Man on the Side of the Road (series) by @supernatural-jackles

This series was beautiful. I was so invested in this and so sad when it came it an end. It was very cathartic for me to read as I related to the reader so much.

Shatter Me (series) by @winchest09

This series is incredible. Such a superb concept and I love the way it has been written. The feeling of isolation and Dean’s desperation to save her had me engrossed all the way through. A must read.

D.W. (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage

I have recently ventured into dark fic and was recommended this.

Demon!Dean is just 🔥 and this fic is dark, sexy and very explicit. And holy shit I LOVED IT!

Nominated by @moosekateer13

House of the Rising Sun (series) by @kittenofdoomage

What I really loved about it shows the love can change your whole perspective of the world when love is thrown into the mix.

The Ones You Love (series) by @kittenofdoomage

It shows how far the Winchester's are willing go when it comes to their family.

Cosa Nostra (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Loved how in the end love and their bond was stronger than an obstacles that were thrown in their way.

Paid In Full (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Loved it! It taught you look past what you see at first.

Poor Little Rich Girl (series) by @winchesterprincessbride

Love how it showed the money is isn't everything love is more important.

Political Animals (series) by @winchesterprincessbride

Loved the sometimes it showed the its better to break away from people who are trying to control your life.

Bed of Roses (series) by @crispychrissy

Loved how it to taught you to look past first impressions and that there is always more than meets the eye.

Nominated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters

Control and Release - 30 (series) by @thecleverdame

I think I might’ve nominated this series before, when I wasn’t caught up yet, but I am now and I just have to recommend this chapter. The entire story is gold but this chapter in particular had me sucked right into the scene at the end. The intensity of the fight and the way they deal with everything that is going on; the emotions, the worlds outside of their little bubble of safety. I don’t want to say too much and spoil it for whoever hasn’t read this series yet. But, if you are one of those people, I highly recommend you change that ASAP.

The Secrets We Keep (series) by @princessmisery666

Better late than never, right? At least that’s what I’m telling myself to ease the guilt I’m feeling for how long it took me to finally read this series like I said I would. I didn’t enjoy it any less, that’s for sure. And that was even before I got to the twist that made it even better. I loved the vulnerability between Sam and Erin, and the different kind of friendship she had with Dean.

Cabin Fever (long oneshot) by @slytherkins

I’ve already attempted (and failed) to express my thoughts on this story to the author privately, so I won’t try again here, in risk of my heart shattering all over again. But what I definitely will say (and I will break into my upstairs neighbor’s apartment to scream it from their balcony if I have to) is this: STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING and go read this fic if you haven’t already. It’s a heavy read, yes. But it is more than worth it, I promise you.

Equanimous (oneshot) by @imagineteamfreewill

I love the tension in this scene. The boys are so in character and I could picture the demons perfectly. And, of course, Cas storming in, being badass, and saving the day, that’s always a plus.

Non-existent (oneshot) by @waywardjoy

I’m definitely a sucker for a good crack-fic. To be honest, when I read the summary I was already sold. That signature bickering between the boys never gets old, does it?

Nominated by @impalaimagining

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

Physically speaking, on the list of things I love about Dean Winchester, this checks almost every single box. I love the little things you’re noticing about Dean as the reader - his freckles, the contrast between his skin and the black shirt he’s wearing, exactly which Zeppelin song he’s singing while he works. The teasing is a nice touch too, especially the line about the night before. Proud Dean is so cute, and it’s exactly how I would expect him to react to being the hero around the house.

Nominated by @impala-dreamer

Almost Paradise (oneshot) by @amanda-teaches

Amanda always always writes the fluff so well, but this little bit of bittersweet longing is delicious. Also, she nails Dean EVERY TIME. One of those writers who just gets Dean’s voice down so perfectly. Very Very well done!

Enough Time (oneshot) by @dissect-me

I was just scrolling the pond list and found this wonderful Destiel fic. I mean… the emotions were intense and I was a mess by the end. Just lovely and so well done. I will be diving back through their masterlist for more Destiel!!

Nominated by @kittenofdoomage

Life For Rent (series) by @winchest09

@katehuntington told me to go read this so I did and I do not regret it. An amazingly sexy (and at times, heartbreaking) series, not for the faint of heart. Totally waiting on edge for the next chapter.

Call Of The Ocean (series) by @flamencodiva and @anatheweirdo

I’m fairly certain I’ve nominated this before but it’s so good, I’m gonna nominate it again. You will absolutely become invested in Thasman’s well-being.

Nominated by @fangirlxwritesx67

Communion (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

But Dean’s natural state is this – nesting, nuzzling, curled up and warm. He speaks softly and quietly. His voice isn’t always rough and hard. He sings. MY FEELS. This is beautiful and heart-wrenching all at once.

Sex with Dean is always really good. A lot of times it’s a rushed, life-affirming kind of thing. So when we have time, every touch is at once charged and grounded. And when we have time and are also able to imbibe? It’s metamorphic. All of this, just one perfect line after another. WOW

Just to be his in our own little bubble. And this, this is exactly how this story feels- so close and heavy and perfect Amazing work,.Like, really astounding.

Synesthesia (oneshot) by @there-must-be-a-lock

Lou took this prompt and did something wildly creative! It’s so well done that the reader can see and feel and taste it.

Wild Thing (series) by @there-must-be-a-lock

I am in love with the Everything series so, so much. Lou has done a beautiful job of building a world with J2 x reader, so loving and creative and hot. This one is, for sure, a favorite! Incorporates one of my favorite quotes into a smoking hot fic. Good work!!

Dear Mr. Fantasy (oneshot) by @itmighthavebeenintentional

But there’s one particular Other Dean, a favorite one his mind drifts to during rare peaceful moments. Daydreaming when he should be researching, drifting off when a particular song plays on the radio while he’s working on Baby, even washing his hands sometimes will pull him back to those dreams.

6 paragraphs in, and I knew Val was going to break my heart. This is a gorgeous gorgeous story! Creative premise, great characterization, and written so that you can see and taste and feel every moment.

I found myself wanting to both read faster, and slow down and savor it. And yes, it broke my heart, but so beautifully that I would let it happen over and over again.

Weight (oneshot) by @67midnightwriter

This one is short and both painful and beautiful. So very heavy with experience and meaning. An excellent example of the ways that our favorite characters can help inspire us, lift us and encourage us to keep going

The Second Hand Unwinds (oneshot) by @mskathywriteswords

Kathy is new-ish to the SPN family but not to either writing or fandom, and it is immediately apparent in her first piece of SPN fanfic. Her creative storyline, her grasp of the characters, and her way with words make it immediately apparent that you are reading the work of a master!

Salvation (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence

This story feels like an episode of the show from earlier seasons, just the right balance of angst and monster fighting with tantalizing peeks of smut and feels. Excellent job!

There are no words that come close to explaining what she means to him. How she saves what soul he has left. These flashback scenes are both hot and tender. The voice the author gives to Sam is spot on, achingly familiar. The contrast between the flashbacks and the action is painfully good.

What’s more frightening, a man like Dean, practiced in his violence out of necessity? Or a man like him, on the verge of losing everything and nothing left to lose? This is a well drawn distinction between the Winchester brothers, and such a good characterization of Sam! It’s easy to forget sometimes what a fearsome hunter he is, but this author reminds us with razor sharp clarity.

“You’re safe with me, Sam. You never have to hide from me.“ Such a beautiful relationship between Sam and this woman! It’s no wonder he’s fighting so hard to save her.

This story has an imaginative plot, fast paced action and some sweet hotness! Plus the author does such a good job with Sam, I’m in love with him all over again. I haven’t read this author much before but you’d better believe I won’t miss a story now!

Casual Affair (oneshot) by @fookinghelljensensthighs

This Dean x Benny fic is short, smoking hot and painfully good. A must read!

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661

The Force of Habit (series) by @littlegreenplasticsoldier

I read that series at least 3 times now. I love this story, its witty and funny. This fic just makes me smile without trying! Even after reading 3 times, I still thoroughly enjoyed it like it was the first time.

Satisfied (series) by @crashdevlin

This is so good, the emotion that this series makes me feel is just out of this world!

Dangerous Signs (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Rhi always has brilliant idea!!! This is one of those and I just can’t get enough of her writing.

Control and Release (series) by @thecleverdame

What start as mostly just porn turned into such a great series with twist and turns!

Hunger (oneshot0 by @impala-dreamer

Oof… what to say about this? it’s Beka! It’s hot and sweaty and makes me want more! Like everything she writes!

Nominated by @myinconnelly1

Couldn’t Resist (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

This is fun, funny, and sexy. Short sweet and to the point, while still getting you hot under the collar!!!

Dark Obsession (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

Where do I even start in this drabble! It's so fucking cute and funny! I was laughing out loud and could totally see TFW trying to play their parts here

Promise Me We’ll Be Alright (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

What a pain in the heart this fic was. It hurt so good!! I was ready to cry

Say My Name (oneshot) by @idabbleincrazy

Smoking hot! While in general Baby-girl is a turn off for me, this fic is so far from it! funny at the start with some cracky dean who is caught in the middle, then getting some possessive Sam which is like my fav!

I’ll See You on Your Birthday (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87

SOOO MUCH FLUFF!!! Like seriously i needed a dentist after. Some cute ABO pregnancy right here!

Just A Number (oneshot) by @crispychrissy

Again Sexy and Funny (I have a type ok) This was a great use of Age Gap and it wasn't creepy and didn't need a little blue pill at all!

Happily Ever After (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence

HAPPILY EVER AFTER! It's all i need to say!!!! Read It!

Missing Person (oneshot) by @emilyshurley

This fic is by my favoritest human in the world!!! It’s hilarious and silly but also almost canon. Plus I make a cameo as Garth’s friend!!! What’s not to love!!!

Nominated by @lovetusk

The Only Exception (series) by @ne-gans & @negans-lucille-tblr

While only the prequel so far, I’m too hyped for this beauty to NOT nominate it.

Survive (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage

I’m always here for some Alpha!Sam, but this one punched me right in the feels. How dare anyone keep him from his Omega.

He Wasn’t In Love With You (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87

Dawn doesn't angst often, but sometimes she does and I love it.

Nominated by @there-must-be-a-lock

Noises (oneshot) by @67midnightwriter

Just. HOT. Hot hot hot like burning. Dom!Cas playing Dean like a goddamn fiddle... what more can you ask for!?

Come For Me (oneshot) by @fangirlxwritesx67

My favorite thing this author has published so far! There are a whole lot of emotions in this one, adrenaline and fear and relief and lust and tenderness, and you can feel the depth of everything going on between them and the chaos of the moment. Also, nailed the “oh shit where did this predatory hotass come from” feeling that I totally imagine would happen during a first time with Sammy.

Plus One (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

This is smutty and raunchy and HOT but it also manages to nail the sweet, loving side of Dean. Smut can so easily be one-dimensional, but this fic managed to be both filthy and tender in a way that feels 150% true to character.

Dear Mr. Fantasy (oneshot) by @itmighthavebeenintentional

An absolutely stunning exploration of some parallel universe Deans. Gorgeously vivid language, such incredible character accuracy, borderline heartbreaking but in a way that isn’t hopeless; it makes you feel FULL. My favorite SPN fic I’ve read in a long time.

The Second Hand Unwinds (oneshot) by @mskathywriteswords

Incredibly evocative, gorgeous wistful tone, and a couple little plot twists that hit you with all the right feels.

Nominated by @winchest09

All I Want (series) by @katehuntington

I love this, so much. I love the take on this particular episode and how in fact it brings back the reader instead of *spoiler*. It’s still ongoing and it’s already tugging on heartstrings and has made me cry so if you read this, grab your tissues!

Ride With Me (series) by @katehuntington

This series has my heart. Like this could be a published book that i would read cover to cover, over and over. The spine would be broken, pages glued in because i would have read it that much. How everything is described, how the world is painted, the characters, the setting…just everything. It’s a must read..A MUST READ.

I Just Called to Say I Love You (series) by @talesmaniac89

This broke my heart. This was so beautifully written to the point i was sobbing behind my screen mumbling incoherent words to my husband before talking to a few other tumblr blogs about it. If you read this, have tissues handy. Dean was so in character and my heart will never be the same. Must read.

The Man In Apartment 43 (series) by @talesmaniac89

This series has me so intrigued! It’s written amazingly, has me gasping, has me seriously flinching at some of the creepy goings on and I cannot wait to see where this goes! It’s an ongoing series and I’m loving it!

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

This lovely little drabble satisfies all my domestic dean needs. Covering his fine ass, arms and back. I mean…Come on! It’s just everything that you need in a bite size package. I absolutely loved it!

Nominated by @katehuntington

One For Tomorrow, One Just For Today (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Sex with Dean is always amazing, but there’s nothing hotter than him singing a classic while he’s doing it. After reading this, that famous song by The Doors will never sound the same. Sit back, relax and listen to the music.

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

Dean fixing a blocked drain under the kitchen sink in a black shirt and Levi’s jeans; what a sight that must be. The writer of this fic is able to describe the scene in great detail. Besides the obvious appreciation of the gorgeous man, it’s great to see him doing something normal and domesticated. It’s the life we all wish for him. A great little drabble for a Sunday morning with a cup of tea on the side.

You’re Home (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

A drabble that’s absolutely worth mentioning, is this short story. Beka does Dean’s PTSD more justice in 682 words than the writers have ever done on the entire show. A beautiful piece of art.

Imagine Dean debating asking you out (oneshot) by @luci-in-trenchcoats

Dean has a crush on a girl, Sam is calling him out. When his little brother threatens to expose his secret, Dean tries to silence him, and it’s honestly the funniest read I’ve had this month. Writing comedy isn’t easy, but this was flawless.

I Just Called To Say I Love You (oneshot) @talesmaniac89

This one hurts bad, but in the most wonderful way. It’s exactly how Dean would go down, the characterisation beyond perfect. The descriptions, the dialogue, the details, the choices. It’s a Rembrandt painted with letters.

Side By Side (series) by @talesmaniac89

Another brilliant creation, based on the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. A song which surfaces a lot of emotions, much like this poetic and amazing piece of fanfiction. Words that come to mind are heart wrenching, tear jerking, and in a way comforting as well. A must read.

The Voices (oneshot) by @fictionalabyss

Based on ‘I hear the voices when I’m dreaming. I can hear them sing’ from the Supernatural anthem Carry On My Wayward Son, comes this breathtakingly beautiful piece of fanfiction. Perfect lines, spot on dialogue and it couldn’t have been more true to the character. It’s painfully raw, sad, and tears will fall. It makes you feel for Dean in ways that are difficult to describe. The writer of this story is known for her talent with words, but she outdid herself here.

Nicotine (oneshot) by @talesmaniac89

This story is inspired by the song Nicotine by Chef’Special and was written for my 1K celebration. The lyrics to this song are surprisingly depressing, despite it being an upbeat song, and the writer has captured it better than I could have ever hoped for. If her writing was music, it would be a symphony played by an orchestra. Her way with words is melodic and moving. Goosebumps all over.

My Hero (oneshot) by @plaidstiel-wormstache

What I love most about this fanfic is the medical accuracy. I am no expert in any way, but after seeing countless medical dramas and having done plenty of research for characters and stories, I really appreciate it when knowledge about medicine practically drips from my screen. A lovely read.

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

#afa masterlist #afas #angel fish awards #spn fanfic #spn fic rec #fan fiction #fanfiction #fan fic #fanfic #spn fan fiction #spn fanfiction #spn fan fic #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fan fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #fic rec #supernatural fic rec

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jjs-other-other-blog · 3 years

Text

Whatever You Imagined

Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester (mentioned), Jack Kline (mentioned)

Pairing: Destiel, Saileen (mentioned)

Rating: T (there may be a few f-bombs though if that counts)

Warnings: None. I think.

Summary: Castiel is back. Which is great because Cas, whom Dean loves, is alive and well. It also means Dean has to talk about his feelings though which he hates. This makes for an interesting conversation. [post 15x19; canon divergent]

Words: 3k

It had gotten quiet in the bunker despite the relatively early hour. Dean was the only one still sitting in the kitchen, mindlessly staring at his phone and taking a sip of beer every now and then. It was more a force of habit than an honest attempt to get drunk though. Why would it be? Everything seemed to be perfect. That’s why he was sitting alone in the kitchen at 9 pm after all. Because everything was so fucking perfect. Not to say that he wasn’t happy with the very recent turn of events. In fact he was still brimming with excitement. At least on the inside.

Cas was back. After Jack had taken on the powers of capital-g God and skipped town to “be” in the flowers or whatever Dean had hoped of course. Hoped and prayed and cursed the whole freaking universe, but he had never gotten an answer until without any kind of warning and completely out of the blue Jack showed up back on the bunker’s doorstep with a certain angel of the lord in tow.

Sam had immediately surged forward to hug Cas and their wayward son and there had been laughter and tears from all three of them. Everyone except Dean who had felt frozen in place, his mind trapped in a never-ending loop of “CasCasCas”. That had seemed to be the maximum capacity for his slightly hung-over head, so he had just stared at his best friend without any specific expression or thought or feeling behind it. They had hugged eventually and Dean was pretty sure that, like the fucking idiot he was, he had said something along the lines of: “Good to have you back buddy.” As if the last time they’d seen each other the guy hadn’t declared his undying love for him.

Cas’ face had gone through a rather confusing sequence of different emotions before it eventually settled on a worn, bittersweet smile and his lips formed the words: “Glad to be back.”

Half a minute of awkward silence later Sam had taken charge of the situation and guided them all down to the dining room where Jack had presented them with a detailed, animated version of their otherworldly prison break which somehow involved a backdoor between heaven and the empty that was hidden in Abel’s (yes, thee Abel’s) heaven, but to be completely honest Dean had spent more time staring at Cas or – the other way around – avoiding Cas’ stares than listening to Jack.

After Jack had finished his story Dean had gotten started on making dinner for the sole purpose of escaping the room and whatever awkward staring contest he and Cas had been about to get into. They obviously had to talk to each other sooner or later, but just the thought of starting that conversation had almost sent Dean into an anxiety attack. Hence his escape to the kitchen.

The awkwardness had stretched all over dinner and even Sam and Jack had noticed by the time the clock struck seven. At some point Jack had left to get Cas settled into his old room and shortly after that Sam, too, had decided to call it a night and with one more curious look at him he had left Dean to sulk on his own.

And that’s how Dean found himself still sitting in the exact same position over an hour later. Logically he new that he should go talk to Cas. It wasn’t fair on anyone to just leave this topic unaddressed, but once again Dean found himself unable to move. Maybe Cas was exhausted, he should let him rest. Or maybe he didn’t even want to talk to Dean, maybe he was angry. Cas had put his feelings out there and Dean… well. Dean hadn’t really said or done anything.

Half of him feared that he might have messed up their bond permanently, but he other half doubted that Cas would hold his silence against him. Everything had happened so fast and Cas had left him with a lot of info to emotionally unpack. If anything, Dean thought, he should be angry. What had Cas been thinking unloading all of that on Dean and then just leaving him there!

The anger might’ve been unjustified, but at least it shook him out of his interior monologue. He pocketed his phone, set the empty beer bottle down in the kitchen and made his way towards his room. When he passed Cas’ door on the hallway though he stopped out of reflex. Staring at the brown wood he thought back to that day with Billie and the empty and to the time before that with Lucifer and how every single time he lost Cas it had sent him head first into a several weeks long downwards spiral. Now Cas was right behind that door and Dean still wouldn’t talk to him, shoving his feelings aside yet again. Because that usually worked out so well. Fuck. “Just grow a pair and do it!”, he reprimanded himself and before he could change his mind again, Dean had already knocked.

“Come in!” Cas’ voice sounded muffled through the wood. He took one last deep breath and then did as he was told. Cas was sitting cross-legged on his bed reading a book. Dean shot him a quick smile, then looked away and closed the door behind him. This was a private conversation. He walked a few steps into the room, then came to a hesitant halt, wringing his hands. Fuck this was hard. He hadn’t even said anything yet. When he looked up again Cas was looking right back at him. He seemed a bit confused as to what Dean was doing, but smiled anyway.

“Hello Dean.” Dean almost started to cry then and there. It had only been a few weeks since he last heard those words, but god had he missed it. The deep rumble of his voice, the earnest yet benevolent blue eyes, that posture which looked both relaxed and tense at the same time. The trench coat was missing, but Dean quickly spotted it hanging over the back of a chair.

Dean cleared his throat. “Hey Cas.” He paused. He was certain there had been more words in his head just a second ago. Cas tilted his head curiously, but without insistence. Dean was pretty sure that Cas knew what he had come to talk about and that the angel didn’t want to pressure him.

“Cas”, he said his name again: “We have to-” He closed his eyes and sighed. “We should talk.” He hesitated again, not knowing where he should start. Maybe addressing the smallest issue first might be a good idea. “I didn’t wanna say anything earlier. Sam was there and Jack and I haven’t told them… They don’t know what happened with the empty. Not the details at least and you just got back and to be honest, I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t know for sure.”

“It’s okay”, Cas said softly and put the book down on the nightstand: “I already told you, I never expected a response. You don’t have to say anything. I mean, I know it was a lot and very sudden and you don’t feel the same way, that’s alright-”

“Cas, I mean this in the kindest way possible, but please shut up.” Cas’ mouth snapped closed and he frowned. “Shit, I’m sorry. Sorry, it’s just-. You said a lot of things while summoning the empty. And you’re right, it was a lot and very sudden. I barely got a word in edgewise and then when you finished your speech and the empty-” He stopped again, his throat feeling unusually tight.

“You were gone, Cas. I barely had the time to process anything of what you were saying, much less come up with something myself. I just know that suddenly you were gone and I was left alone with that declaration of love - which apparently you feel for me. And I know you did all of that to save me, save the universe or whatever, but honestly. You can’t just drop all of that on someone and then leave!” He looked over at Cas again who wouldn’t meet his eyes and seemed more agitated by the second. He wanted to move on before he lost his courage, but Cas was faster.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I realise now that that wasn’t completely fair on you. I just didn’t see another way. We were about to die and I could not let that happen to you. I’m sorry that I burdened you with all of this and you should know that you don’t owe me anything. It just needed to be said and I am aware that – how did I put it? It’s something I know I can’t have. I never should’ve-”

“For fuck’s sake”, Dean muttered and rubbed his face: “Cas. You had your time, you’ve said your part. It’s my turn with the chick flick moment and this would be a lot easier if you would just let me finish, capiche?”

He nodded eagerly. “Yes. Yes, I uh. I “capiche”.” Cas sat up straighter as if to get up. That was when Dean realised he was still standing in the middle of the room like a lost sheep. He motioned for Cas to remain seated and looked around the room. The chair with the trench coat was still there, but Dean doubted he could get another two coherent words out while face to face with Cas, so instead he sat down on the edge of the bed. He carefully adjusted his position so that Cas was sitting a few feet to his right. He could smell the familiar scent of the angel now. Great, just what he needed. Another distraction. Well at least Cas was no longer in his line of sight, maybe he could do this.

“I probably shouldn’t yell and curse that much. I’m trying to say something important here and I wanna do it right. I wanna do right by you after everything you’ve done for me. You deserve that. I’m just really, really not good at this, so. Be patient with me.” He looked at Cas once more for confirmation and he nodded. Dean took another deep breath and stared at his hands. No backing out of this now, Winchester.

“Cas, I need to be honest here. Before the empty took you, the thought of you and me together as something other than best friends never even crossed my mind. You’re an angel and I’m, well, I’m me. I never thought that I would ever have somebody like you in my life at all. It had been just Sam and me for such a long time. And sure he’s my brother, I love that nerd. But to have somebody else, somebody who I wasn’t responsible for, who I could count on without being related to them by blood – that was new for me. I never had a real friend like that before. We spent so much time together and we’ve been through so much. I know I took you for granted way too often, but I always considered myself lucky to have you in my corner. And I thought… Well, I just assumed that you felt the exact same way. But then you summoned the empty and said all that stuff about me and at first I couldn’t process any of what had happened, it was just not right. Then after a few hours of at least trying to understand I just pushed it all away because there was no time. We still had Chuck to take care of. Save the universe and all that. Eventually Sam and I returned to the bunker though. He reunited with Eileen and with Jack gone, it was just me for a few days. I’m not proud of this, but I really didn’t take it very well. I kept myself busy drinking most of the time, I lost track of time. It didn’t really matter to me if it was 3 am or 3 pm as long as there was some kind of alcohol nearby. I don’t think I ever told you this, but you are one of the three most important people in my life, Cas, and I lost you. So I settled into the depression phase quite well. No denying that. And then the anger came and I would just pace the bunker for hours asking myself why the hell it had to be this way and why on top of losing you I also had to deal with the romantic feelings my dead best friend had had for me and I felt even more guilty. It didn’t make sense and it wasn’t fair. At some point Sam and Eileen came back though, so I at least tried to get better. They deserved to be happy without having to worry about me. I stopped the day-drinking. Got sober, more or less. That was when I started to really think about what you said. You mentioned it earlier. How “the one thing you wanted was something you knew you couldn’t have”. I started to wonder what exactly you meant by that. Did you want us to be a couple? Boyfriends? Live that apple pie life? Or would we have kept hunting, living our lives together Bonnie and Clyde style? Did you want us to raise Jack together and have family dinners on sundays? Hand holding in the park, making out in the back of the theatre? I don’t know. On the one hand I couldn’t imagine it. On the other hand I couldn’t stop thinking about it either. I became almost obsessed with the idea and it took me along time to truly figure this out. I had trouble picturing it in my head because, for one, I had never thought about it before. That maybe there was a possibility to relabel our relationship. Not because you’re a guy. Well, angel, but you know what I mean. It may come as a shock for you, but I’ve actually known for a while – and believe me, I mean a while – that I’m not straight. The way I was brought up though… It was barely acceptable to fuck a guy here and there, but dating one? That was unheard of. So on those rare occasions when I thought about settling down I always saw myself doing that with a woman and I never told anyone about the men I met along the way. Stupid, I know, but that’s how the story is supposed to go, right? Boy meets girl, et cetera. I know that gender works differently for you angels, but you look like a man and we call you “he” and “him”. I guess that threw me off. But still, I couldn’t stop thinking about us and I think that’s what really broke me at last. Because the more I thought about all the possibilities and the things that might’ve been, the more I also realised what I had lost. You said a lot of good things, but there is one detail you were wrong about, Cas. That “it” you thought you could never have? I don’t care what it is. I don’t care what exactly you had in mind. Cas, whatever it is you imagined – I want it. Maybe I always have. You – you can have me.”

Finally, Dean dared to look up again. He had tried to keep it together during his little speech, but now he could feel the tears burning behind his eyes and his heart hammering in his chest. Cas didn’t seem to fare much better. His eyes were glazed over and his bottom lip trembled.

“Dean”, Cas forced out. He opened his mouth to say more, but nothing came out. Dean felt his heart break a little at Cas’ pained expression and he noticed his hands were trembling. He got up from the bed to kneel in front of Cas and carefully took his hands in his own. Cas held on to Dean as if he were his anchor. He seemed so overwhelmed, lost even. Dean began to wonder if he had said too much.

“Listen, Cas. If – if you changed your mind. If this is no longer what you want-” He didn’t get any further. Suddenly Cas was kissing him and it was like a dam had broken. 12 years of repressed feelings and tension finally unloaded. Dean closed his eyes and kissed him back like his life depended on it. Maybe it did. Cas saying goodbye had felt like dying. Losing him was hell.

But now, in this very moment with Cas’ lips on his and his hands in Dean’s hair he felt alive, so alive and Cas was too. He was here with him and maybe they could just stay right here for ever. Maybe they would fall asleep in each others’ arms and sleep well past noon, they deserved the rest. Maybe he’d have to awkwardly come out to his brother the following morning and maybe he and Cas would have to discuss what this meant for their future. But none of that mattered to Dean right now. All that mattered was that they had a future. And let’s be real: It is kind of hard to think of anything else when an angel of the lord is kissing you senseless with his hands under your shirt.

#supernatural #spn #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #castiel #destiel reunion #destiel fanfic #spn fanfic

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johanna-swann · 4 years

Text

Whatever You Imagined

It’s here, it’s queer. My Supernatural oneshot. Read below the cut.

Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester (mentioned), Jack Kline (mentioned)

Pairing: Destiel, Saileen (mentioned)

Rating: T (there may be a few f-bombs though)

Warnings: None

Summary: Jack saved Cas from the empty. Which is great because Cas, whom he loves, is alive and well. It also means Dean has to talk about his feelings though which he hates.

Words: 3k

It had gotten quiet in the bunker despite the relatively early hour. Dean was the only one still sitting in the kitchen, mindlessly staring at his phone and taking a sip of beer every now and then. It was more a force of habit than an honest attempt to get drunk though. Why would it be? Everything seemed to be perfect. That's why he was sitting alone in the kitchen at 9 pm after all. Because everything was so fucking perfect. Not to say that he wasn't happy with the very recent turn of events. In fact he was still brimming with excitement, at least on the inside.

Cas was back. After Jack had taken on the powers of capital-g God and skipped town to “be” in the flowers or whatever Dean had hoped of course. Hoped and prayed and cursed the whole freaking universe, but he had never gotten an answer until without any kind of warning and completely out of the blue Jack showed back up on the bunker's doorstep with a certain angel of the lord in tow.

Sam had immediately surged forward to hug Cas and their wayward son and there had been laughter and tears from all three of them. Everyone except Dean who had felt frozen in place, his mind trapped in a never-ending loop of “CasCasCas”. That had seemed to be the maximum capacity for his slightly hung-over head, so he had just stared at his best friend without any specific expression. They had hugged eventually and Dean was pretty sure that, like the fucking idiot he was, he had said something along the lines of: “Good to have you back buddy.”, as if the last time they had seen each other the angel hadn't declared his undying love for him.

Cas' face had gone through a rather confusing sequence of different emotions before it eventually settled on a worn, bittersweet smile and his lips formed the words: “Glad to be back.”

Half a minute of awkward silence later Sam had taken charge of the situation and guided them all down to the dining room where Jack had presented them with a detailed, animated version of their otherworldly prison break which somehow involved a backdoor between heaven and the empty that was hidden in Abel's (yes,the Abel) heaven, but to be completely honest Dean had spent more time staring at Cas or – the other way around – avoiding Cas' stares than listening to Jack.

After Jack had finished his story Dean had gotten started on making dinner for the sole purpose of escaping whatever awkward staring contest he and Cas had been about to get into. They obviously had to talk to each other sooner or later, but just the thought of starting that conversation had almost sent Dean into an anxiety attack. Hence his escape to the kitchen.

And that's how Dean found himself still sitting in the exact same position over an hour later. Logically he new that he should go talk to Cas. It wasn't fair on either of them to just leave this topic unaddressed, but once again Dean found himself unable to move. Maybe Cas was exhausted, he should let him rest. Or maybe he didn't even want to talk to Dean, maybe he was angry. Cas had put his feelings out there and Dean… well. Dean hadn't really said or done anything.

The anger might've been unjustified, but at least it shook him out of his interior monologue. He pocketed his phone, set the empty beer bottle down in the kitchen and made his way towards his room. When he passed Cas' door on the hallway though he stopped out of reflex. Staring at the brown wood he thought back to that day with Billie and the empty and to the time before that with Lucifer and how every single time he lost Cas it had sent him head first into a several weeks long downwards spiral. Now Cas was right behind that door and Dean still wouldn't talk to him, shoving his feelings aside yet again. Because that usually worked out so well. Fuck. “Just grow a pair and do it!”, he reprimanded himself and before he could change his mind again, Dean had already knocked.

“Come in!” Cas' voice sounded muffled through the wood. He took one last deep breath and then did as he was told. Cas was sitting cross-legged on his bed reading a book. Dean shot him a quick smile, then looked away and closed the door behind him. This was a private conversation. He walked a few steps into the room, then came to a hesitant halt, wringing his hands. Fuck this was hard. He hadn't even said anything yet. When he looked up again Cas was looking right back at him. He seemed a bit confused as to what Dean was doing, but smiled anyway.

“Cas”, he said his name again: “We have to-” He closed his eyes and sighed. “We should talk.” He hesitated again, not knowing where he should start. Maybe addressing the smallest issue first might be a good idea. “I didn't wanna say anything earlier. Sam was there and Jack and I haven't told them… They don't know what happened with the empty. Not the details at least and you just got back and to be honest, I didn't know what to say. I still don't know for sure.”

“It's okay”, Cas said softly and put the book down on the nightstand: “I already told you, I never expected a response. You don't have to say anything. I mean, I know it was a lot and very sudden and you don't feel the same way, that's alright-”

“Cas, I mean this in the kindest way possible, but please shut up.” Cas' mouth snapped closed and he frowned. “Shit, I'm sorry. Sorry, it's just-. You said a lot of things while summoning the empty. And you're right, it was a lot and very sudden. I barely got a word in edgewise and then when you finished your speech and the empty-” He stopped again, his throat feeling unusually tight.

“You were gone, Cas. I barely had the time to process anything of what you were saying, much less come up with something myself. I just know that suddenly you were gone and I was left alone with that declaration of love which apparently you feel for me. And I know you did all of that to save me, save the universe or whatever, but honestly. You can't just drop all of that on someone and then leave!” He looked over at Cas again who wouldn't meet his eyes and seemed more agitated by the second. He wanted to move on before he lost his courage, but Cas was faster.

“I'm sorry, Dean. I realise now that that wasn't completely fair on you. I just didn't see another way. We were about to die and I could not let that happen to you. I'm sorry that I burdened you with all of this and you should know that you don't owe me anything. It just needed to be said and I am aware that – how did I put it? It's something I know I can't have. I never should've-”

“For fuck's sake”, Dean muttered and rubbed his face: “Cas. You had your time, you've said your part. It's my turn with the chick flick moment and this would be a lot easier if you would just let me finish, capiche?”

He nodded eagerly. “Yes. Yes, I uh. I “capiche”.” Cas sat up straighter as if to get up. That was when Dean realised he was still standing in the middle of the room like a lost sheep. He motioned for Cas to remain seated and looked around the room. The chair with the trench coat was still there, but Dean doubted he could get even two coherent words out while face to face with Cas, so instead he sat down on the edge of the bed. He carefully adjusted his position so that Cas was sitting a few feet to his right. He could smell the familiar scent of the angel now. Great, just what he needed. Another distraction. Well at least Cas was no longer in his line of sight, maybe he could do this.

“I probably shouldn't yell and curse that much. I'm trying to say something important here and I wanna do it right. I wanna do right by you after everything you've done for me. You deserve that. I'm just really, really not good at this, so. Be patient with me.” He looked at Cas once more for confirmation and he nodded. Dean took another deep breath and stared at his hands. No backing out of this now, Winchester.

“Cas, I need to be honest here. Before the empty took you, the thought of you and me together as something other than best friends never even crossed my mind. You're an angel and I'm, well, I'm me. I never thought that I would ever have somebody like you in my life at all. It had been just Sam and me for such a long time. And sure he's my brother, I love that nerd. But to have somebody else, somebody who I wasn't responsible for, who I could count on without being related to them by blood – that was new for me. I never had a real friend like that before. We spent so much time together and we've been through so much. I know I took you for granted way too often, but I always considered myself lucky to have you in my corner. And I thought... Well, I just assumed that you felt the exact same way.

But then you summoned the empty and said all that stuff about me and at first I couldn't process any of what had happened, it was just not right. Then after a few hours of at least trying to understand I just pushed it all away because there was no time. We still had Chuck to take care of. Eventually Sam and I returned to the bunker though. He reunited with Eileen and with Jack gone, it was just me for a few days. I'm not proud of this, but I really didn't take it very well. I kept myself busy drinking most of the time, I lost track of time. It didn't really matter to me if it was 3 am or pm as long as there was some kind of alcohol nearby. You are one of the two most important people in my life, Cas, and I lost you.

So I settled into the depression phase quite well. No denying that. And then the anger came and I would just pace the bunker for hours asking myself why the hell it had to be this way and why on top of losing you I also had to deal with the romantic feelings my dead best friend had had for me and I felt even more guilty. It didn't make sense and it wasn't fair. At some point Sam and Eileen came back though, so I at least tried to get better. They deserved to be happy without having to worry about me. I got sober, more or less. That was when I started to really think about what you said.

You mentioned it earlier. How “the one thing you wanted was something you knew you couldn't have”. I started to wonder what exactly you meant by that. Did you want us to be a couple? Boyfriends? Live that apple pie life? Or would we have kept hunting, living our lives together Bonnie and Clyde style? Did you want us to raise Jack together and have family dinners? Hand holding in the park, making out in the back of the theater? I don't know. On the one hand I couldn't imagine it. On the other hand I couldn't stop thinking about it. I became almost obsessed with the idea and it took me along time to truly figure this out.

I had trouble picturing it in my head because, for one, I had never thought about it before. That maybe there was a possibility to relabel our relationship. Now the next part may come as a shock for you, but I've actually known for a while – and believe me, I mean a while – that I'm not straight. The way I was brought up though... It was barely acceptable to fuck a guy here and there, but dating one? That was unheard of. So on those rare occasions when I thought about settling down I always saw myself doing that with a woman and I never told anyone about the men I met along the way.

Stupid, I know, but that's how the story is supposed to go, right? Boy meets girl, et cetera. I know that gender works differently for you angels, but you look like a man and we call you “he” and “him”. I guess that threw me off. But still, I couldn't stop thinking about it and I think that's what really broke me at last.

Because the more I thought about all the possibilities and the things that might've been, the more I also realised what I had lost. You said a lot of good things, but there is one detail you were wrong about, Cas. That “it” you thought you could never have? I don't care what it is. I don't care what exactly you had in mind. Cas, whatever it is you imagined – I want it, maybe I always have. You – you can have me.”

Finally, Dean dared to look up again. He had tried to keep it together during his little speech, but now he could feel the tears burning behind his eyes and his heart hammering in his chest. Cas didn't seem to fare much better. His eyes were glazed over with unshed tears and his bottom lip trembled.

“Dean”, Cas forced out. He opened his mouth to say more, but nothing came out. Dean felt his heart break a little at Cas' pained expression and he noticed his hands were trembling. He got up from the bed to kneel in front of Cas and carefully took his hands in his own. Cas held on to Dean as if he were his anchor. He seemed so overwhelmed, lost even. Dean began to wonder if he had said too much.

“Listen, Cas. If – if you changed your mind. If this is no longer what you want-” He didn't get any further. Suddenly Cas was kissing him and it was like a dam had broken. 12 years of repressed feelings and tension finally unloaded. Dean closed his eyes and kissed him back like his life depended on it. Maybe it did. Cas saying goodbye had felt like dying. Losing him was hell.

But now, in this very moment with Cas' lips on his and his hands in Dean's hair he felt alive, so alive and Cas was too. He was here with him and maybe they would just stay right here for hours. Maybe they would fall asleep in each others' arms and sleep well past noon, they deserved the rest. Maybe he'd have to awkwardly come out to his brother the following morning and maybe he and Cas would have to discuss what this meant for their future. But none of that mattered to Dean right now. All that mattered was that they had a future. And let's be real: It is kind of hard to think of anything else when an angel of the lord has his hands under your shirt while kissing you senseless.

#supernatural #spn #Destiel #deancas #dean winchester #castiel #spn fanfiction #fanfiction #happy birthday dean #42

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fishoutofcamelot · 4 years

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(for the ask thing) any book/tv show/movie/song recommendations?

BRO! I heckin got you man! Now, I’m gonna skip the song and book recommendation bit because that sorta thing isn’t really my scene. BUT! In terms of TV? My rec list is like a mile long. I’m gonna include a read-more line, actually.

BBC Merlin: You know I had to put this on the list. But the fact that you’re on my blog means you’ve probably watched this one, so I won’t go into detail about it. Available on Netflix

Mob Psycho 100: Just a cute, sweet story about a bunch of psychic kids trying to kill each other. A story with this much fighting has no right to be so wholesome. Mob is just a good boy, he doesn’t deserve all this! Fair warning, its messages about identity, self love, and growth WILL make you feel Emotions. Available on various anime pirating websites

Red vs Blue: The found family game is SO strong in this one. By far the best found family plot/dynamic I have ever and will ever experience. The characters are all so solid, yknow? Like it took me three rewatches to understand the plot, but I didn’t even care because I loved the characters SO MUCH. It’s also really, really funny (although some of the jokes have aged a bit poorly tbh). Basically about a bunch of space marines who goof off and accidentally dismantle corrupt governments along the way. Available on Youtube

Supernatural: Is it cringey? Yeah. Does the fandom suck? Also yeah. Is Destiel overrated? BIG yeah. But it’s got monsters, magic, family, and a plot that doesn’t revolve around romance - and really, what more could you ask for? And sure, a lot of people don’t really like the later seasons, but idk I actually prefer them. Season 15 has me THRIVING. I mean come on - character vs author?! Fighting the guy who literally wrote you into existence because he doesn’t want to give your story a happy ending?! Say what you will about Supernatural, but it’s one of the most imaginative shows I’ve ever seen. Available on Netflix

Avatar the Last Airbender: You like stellar animation, intricate worldbuilding/magicbuilding, and a perspective on war that is surprisingly mature for a kids show? Check it out. This show is without a doubt one of the best animated series of all time. Go on. Watch it. It’ll change your life. Available on Netflix

The Umbrella Academy: Time-travelling assassins. Superheroes. Ghosts. Talking monkeys. Murder mysteries. Baller soundtracks. This show will never give you what you expect. I don’t even think I could properly describe it to you. Available on Netflix

Detective Conan: An anime. It’s about a teen detective - think Nancy Drew but bloodier - who witnesses a crime and is fed an experimental poison in order to keep him from telling anyone. But instead of killing him, the poison turns him into a 6-year-old. So now he’s got to solve crimes and take down a criminal organization while in the body of a child. Naturally, shenanigans ensue. Fair warning, the main character becomes a bit of a Mary Sue in later episodes, but the first 300 or so are pretty fun. A few episodes are available on Netflix, but not any of the good ones. You’ll need an anime pirating website for that

Knives Out: My favourite movie ever, of all time. It’s a murder mystery that both subverts and pays homage to its parent genre in all the right places. It’s funny, it’s intelligent, and has a spectacular ending! Although I do wish the fandom would stop being so horny for Ransom, I mean he’s literally racist...No clue where you can find this tbh, I saw it in theatres

Derry Girls: Now I’m not normally a big fan of realistic fiction/sitcom stuff. Despite how funny they are, I’ve not even watched The Office or Parks and Rec because that normal daily life stuff just doesn’t peak my interest. And yet, somehow this story about a group of Irish high schoolers just has me enthralled. Very funny, very well-written, give it a watch. Available on Netflix

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood: Another anime. Phenomenal animation? Check. Fascinating plot and characters? Check. Detailed magic system that gets my lore-obsessed heart fluttering? Big heckin check. So basically two kids try to use Fantasy Science to bring their mom back to life, only the experiment fails and has some pretty nasty consequences - one boy loses his arm and leg, while the other loses his entire body and has his soul bound to a suit of armour. Now they gotta go through government conspiracies, ethical dilemmas, and Daddy Issues to try and get their bodies back. Available on Netflix

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: Yet another anime. I know, I know, I’m a nerd, get over it. This show doesn’t have a complex plot or even complex characters, tbh, but what it does have is some amazing humour. It’s extremely funny, and it’s also just a nice show to kick back and relax to. Basically this guy who’s so op that he could rewrite the laws of reality on a whim is stuck dealing with relationship drama in high school despite being very, very asexual and very, very tired. Mostly he just uses his powers to avoid people and eat junk food, which is honestly a mood. Available on Netflix

Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated: Honestly I’d recommend almost anything that’s Scooby Doo-related because that was my childhood obsession. I used to have like 20 of the movies on DVD before my mom gave them all away. To this day I still love Scooby Doo, and watch it whenever I get the chance. But if you ask any SD fan, they’ll probably tell you that Mystery Incorporated is the best, most intelligent, most creative installment in the franchise. And they’re right (although I do wish there was less relationship drama...) Available on Netflix

Evil Genius: This is a documentary series about the Collar Bomb Robbery. Now, despite what the above list might indicate, I actually watch a LOT of documentaries, and if I were here to recommend all of them then we would be here all day. Not really ‘funny’ like the other entries on this list, it’s actually rather tragic, but definitely a cerebral viewing experience. Available on Netflix

Screwball: Now this is a documentary that IS funny. It’s about drug scandals in baseball. But the dramatic scene re-enactments are done with child actors that are all wearing fake beards and pretending to be drug dealers. It’s not only a fascinating subject, but it’s got amazing editing and visuals that have me in awe. Available on Netflix

Behind the Curve: Yet another documentary. This one’s about the rise of the Flat Earth movement. You’ll spend most of the time on the verge of having a stroke because of how stupid it all is. Available on Netflix

The Movies That Made Us: Okay okay okay last documentary on the list I swear. This one’s exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a series talking about the behind-the-scenes production of iconic movies like Home Alone and Ghostbusters. I eagerly await the second season. Available on Netflix

Monster Factory: If you’re familiar with the McElroy brothers and their brand of humour, you’ll love this. Griffin and Justin team up to make the most disturbing avatars they can create using video game character creators. The origins of the Final Pam meme. If I had a shirt with a quote from Monster Factory on it, I’d die a happy man. Available on Youtube

Baman Piderman: The dumbest show I have ever watched, but it’s so adorable and stupid and I love it so much. It doesn’t really have a plot, but later episodes allude to the presence of one and I’m upset because there are so many mysteries/questions hinted at and we’ll never get answers because it’s been abandoned. PLEASE watch it. Available on Youtube

Stranger Things: Okay, season 2 was a bit of a let-down imo, but season 1 was ICONIC and the Scoops Troop subplot in season 3 deserved its own freakin spinoff. I’m not joking. I didn’t even like s3 all that much, but the only reason it’s my favourite is because the Scoops Troop plot was so great. People call this show ‘horror’ but I don’t think it’s scary enough for that, although it is admittedly kinda spooky. If you like 80s nostalgia and the horror aesthetic, then I’d give it a watch (Do it for Scoops Troop. Do it for Robin). Available on Netflix

Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart: Despite my overwhelming love for this film, I’ll be the first to admit it’s kinda mediocre. The plot is weird and the romance feels forced, but despite its flaws it manages to be one of my favourite movies. Mostly I just like it for the unique concept and beautiful ending. Also the music is off the par man. Probably because the writer/producer of the movie was the lead singer for a French band called Dionysus (what? I do my research). Available on Netflix

Wakfu: I haven’t seen past season 3, but so far it’s pretty good. You go in thinking it’s just a wholesome action/adventure show about a kid who can create portals - but then it just. Sucks you in. From its bopping theme song to its fantastic found family to the unique worldbuilding, you very quickly fall in love with it. It’s got a cool plot and also talking dragons, and it doesn’t get better than that. Available on Netflix

Mystery Skulls Animated: Technically not a TV show so much as it is a series of animated music videos with a plot, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the greatest things of all time. It’s basically Scooby Doo but if Shaggy got possessed by a demon and killed Fred, causing Fred to become a ghost hellbent on revenge-killing Shaggy in return. And if Scooby was an ancient Japanese spirit that bit off Shaggy’s arm, forcing him to wear a metal prosthetic. Yeah, MSA is wild. It’s only got three videos out so far, with a fourth one coming out this October, but there’s already so much lore! Available on Youtube

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared: Ah yes, yet another cringey entry on this list. But you know what? Cringe culture is dead!!! And despite its fandom being...like that...DHMIS really is a cool show. Think if Sesame Street was like haunted or something. The episodes about creativity and telling time remain the most unsettling, imo. Definitely worth a watch. Available on Youtube

Inanimate Insanity: Oh boy. Am I seriously recommending you dip your little fingies into the object fandom? Yes. Yes I am. This show is so obscure it makes freakin Detective Conan look popular. At its core it’s a parody of Total Drama Island and Survivor but with anthropomorphized inanimate objects as characters (hence the name). Season 2 is actually really, really good and surprisingly competent. You just gotta get through season 1 first. Available on Youtube

The X-Files: Wow, a live action series on this list? Who woulda thought??? But seriously, this show is really fun. Memes and jokes aside, I love it. Scully and Mulder are fun characters with great chemistry (both platonic and romantic), the Lone Horsemen are hilarious, and every episode is a unique adventure into the most creative acid trips the human mind could conceive of. Phenomenal from start to finish (if you ignore the last season). I have no clue where you would watch this. Pirate it, probably

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Two idiots investigate cold cases and haunted locales while being utter dumbasses about it. You know the “hey demons it’s be ya boi” meme? That came from these guys. Available on Youtube

Kingdom: Ngl, I didn’t go into this expecting zombies. Or for it to take place during Korean feudalism, for that matter. But mediocre dubbing aside, this show has such a clever concept. It takes the zombie apocalypse genre and gives refreshing, unique twists to old tropes that they feel like something new. Seo-bi is my wife and she deserves all the love and appreciation in the world, and those are just Facts. Available on Netflix

My Hero Academia: Superhero high school anime. I personally am not a fan of later episodes/arcs, but the first three seasons are pretty dang good. Diverse, colourful ensemble cast that you easily grow to adore, interesting commentary on disability (although I’m not qualified to give any actual takes on that), and a school curriculum that makes me very, very concerned for the wellbeing of these children. Plus all the superpowers - aka ‘quirks’ - are super imaginative and, well, quirky! I just wish people would stop shipping the main character with his childhood bully...You’ll need to pirate this one too lmao

Danny Phantom: The highlight of this show is its ‘phandom’, because unlike someone (*cough* Butch Hartman), we’re not a bunch of cowards. It’s about a guy who messes around with his parents’ lab stuff and accidentally acquires the ability to die! Well, half-die. He can turn into a ghost and fight other ghosts. Although the show never explores the existential, traumatic fallout of being kinda-sorta-dead, the potential for something deep and emotional is there. Plus there is a LOT of accidental subtext for a Big LGBT+ Metaphor. So much so that the Trans Danny theory is basically canon. Uhhh not available on Netflix anymore so it’s time to whip out your pirate hat, matey

And there you have it! Like I said, I have a lot of TV recommendations. And I just KNOW I’m forgetting a ton, but this is already really long so we’ll have to cut off here.

Thanks for the ask! <3

#ask #fish post

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verobatto · 5 years

Text

Mating For Life

Destiel wild meta. Addition to my crack (not so crack) meta Is Mating Season for Dean.

With the spectacular dissertation of my smart friend @mrsaquaman187

Hello dear fandom! We are here again! We had not been kicked out for our wild thoughts and interpretations!

Okay, let's make a tour through the wild life in Garth's house... But first of all, let's start with wolves...

Wolves

@mrsaquaman187 wrote:

"Ok ok wolves! As we all know wolves have a pack mentality! While they don’t normally mate for life, they will fight for their right to mate! Also the wolves mating pattern is quite aggressive! We see Garth fight for the boys and aggressively tell Dean what he should be doing! Wolves are a species that roam as a family and represent loyalty and ferocity. But in this case they represent aggressive love! A love so strong that it caused Garth, to smell it on Dean. Which at first Dean didn’t understand BUT in the end he ended up replying with “you don’t smell so bad yourself”. Wolves use their sense of smell to be able to tell if their target is ready to mate, just mated, or open to mating. And that’s what Garth was smelling. The scent of a “taken” mate. And in realizing this Dean also responded in kind. Basically what was said in wolf language was “love looks good on you” and Dean seeing Garths beautiful family responded with “love looks good on you too”.

Gif set credit @starsmish

Swan

We just answered a post by @savannadarkbaby yesterday, and she showed us this...

The swan inside a blue room. I know many of you are thinking SWAN SONG! Like a recall to season 5, but this has nothing to do with that. Because this episode was talking frenetically, about MATING FOR LIFE, and how Dean had found his mate for life in Castiel. If you readed my first meta, one of the quotes of the days while filming this episode was the first quote I related with Dean.

I have always been a fire, and everyone I loved walked away as ashes, until I met a phoenix, who was born to love flames.

So please, let's read my friend now...

@mrsaquaman187 wrote:

"Ok here we go with the blatant showing of the swan in the blue room!!

"Swans are a majestic bird. Large, graceful, elegant, classy....AND A BIRD KNOWN FOR HAVING GAY COUPLES!!! While most people saw the swan and immediately thought of Sean Song, me and my friend here did not! I instantly recalled this ..."

"Swans are a beautiful species that, like most birds, mate for life! But unlike most species that also have gay pairings...the swan will pair for the rest of their lives. Black swans will fight off female mates and pair with the stolen mate. Swans are also famous for adopting orphaned chicks. Thus making them quite different.

There are almost no species of animals on this planet that doesn’t have a recorded gay pairing. The only ones that don’t are the creatures that don’t use sex to reproduce."

"So Swans sit on the top of the food chain for gay animal relationships."

Okay, I asked her too to dissert about Phoenix, so...

Phoenix

Because that quote of the day deserves it...

@mrsaquaman187 enlighten us with this...

"Now another interesting bird that’s been mentioned a couple times is the Phoenix! A legendary bird made of golden flames that will be reborn over and over for eternity! Sounds epic right??? Well if we look into the actual mythology of this dramatic creature we will see that this bird represents ever lasting prosperity. A never ending will. I love that never dies. In other words the Phoenix represents determination and dedication. For the Phoenix May fall but it will always rise from the ashes anew and ready for a new life! Why am I crazily rambling about this mythical creature you might be asking??? Well it’s simple! We often relate Castiel to the Phoenix. He is the fire that never went out for Dean...while all others got burned in his flames only one remains. I’m not including Sammy here because they are blood and of course he stuck around 😂 but Castiel has no reason to withstand such flames. He’s also a Phoenix like Dean. And Phoenix are extremely rare and they only find a pair every few millennia. Dean has done the same for Cas. Yes the flames burn and yes they get bigger. But a Phoenix will always return! Wiser, stronger and more beautiful."

Are you enjoying this trip through Garth's house? Let's go with the next wild animal...

Doe

When Garth and Bess were dancing in that window, there was this statue...

A doe.

@mrsaquaman187 wrote:

"In this episode very quickly we also see a Doe! This animal is a native totem that means fertility and guides the way to prosperity and enlightenment! This was placed in Garths home as a sign that it is just that! A home!"

And now... Let's talk about this kitties...

Sorry, I cut their heads off... 🤣🤣🤣

Cats

Okay, the black cat is Castiel, the white one is Dean, the large one is Sam and the little and cute one is Jack! Fight me here! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 TFMiew! Oh my gosh, I need a brain transplant...

Okay, @mrsaquaman187 pointed cats spread pheromones all over... And we are coming back here to the YOU SMELL GOOD scenes.

To Conclude

Mating and mate for life, had been one of the topics Dabb developed in the last episode.

Showing us Garth's house full of wild animals with specific meanings, that fulfill the idea of Dean had already chosen his mate for life, his phoenix, represented by his pheromones (he is just a kitty in love), the suggestive tap tap dancing inviting Castiel to mate with him and the swan in that blue room.

I hope you all enjoyed this cooperative post, you can add all your thoughts!

Kisses!

Tagging @metafest @gneisscastiel @emblue-sparks @magnificent-winged-beast @agusvedder @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @mybonsai1976 @anarchiana @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @destielshipper221b @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @feathered-castiel @bre95611 @zoerayne2426 @justmeand-myinsight @that-one-fandom-chick @proccastinate @studio-hatter @pepevons @liwos-rabithole @poorreputation @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @breathing-oxymoron @a-bit-of-influence @dwstiel @thislunarkiss @ladygon @shippsblog @la-random-fangirl @lets-try-this-again-please

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

Buenos Aires January 27th 2020 10:53 PM

#destiel #destiel meta #visual narrative meta #meta cooperation #15x10 meta

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legendary-destiel · 5 years

Text

Shower Secrets [14x03 coda]

This is for my lovely tumblr-sister Drew @peanutbutterandgrapejelly, because she wanted to know so desperately, why this image was taken in the shower, and not anywhere else (like, for example in the kitchen, while cutting carrots or playing bingo). Well, you wanted the background-story, hon, here you go! :D

Notes: This is slightly angsty/explicit. You have been warned.

Words: 1340

AO3

tags: destiel one-shot, post-possession angst, Michaels pervert idea of getting to know each other, deancas talk, short shower conversations, you all know to what they can lead, shower sex, this is not their first time, established relationship, Cas takes care of Dean, finally reunited, very slight descriptions of sexual abuse, but not explicit, the good stuff is a little explicit tho 😁

Well, now let’s jump in the shower with Dean, because we’re dealing with the sequel to the following scene - thanks to my awesome friend @agusvedder we can enjoy this wonderful gif:

***

Hm?

Dean heard a noise coming from the door.

Ah, good. He understood the hint.

With a silent, unremarkable klonk, the door closed behind Castiel. When Dean looked over his shoulder quickly, he could only see a beige, blurred silhouette, because he was already in the shower, surrounded by the steam of the 45 degree hot water. It ran down his aching back in constant cascades.

His entire body just hurt. After getting rid of Michael’s disgustingly extravagant clothes, all he wanted was to wash away the memories. He couldn’t help but to remember what it felt like… the moment when he completely lost control of his own body and will. He was so powerless, so helpless, that not even his purest, deepest cry of despair came to the surface. He was drowning, slowly ceasing to exist, while falling deep and deeper into this impenetrable darkness. There was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

And then suddenly - it was over. From one second to another, he was himself again. Dean didn’t know why Michael decided to leave, but he fucking did. He couldn’t care less, but now he had to deal with those memories.

“Hey.” Dean said firmly. He didn’t want to appear too weak to Cas.

The angel remained silent, but Dean heard a rustle and knew instinctively that Cas had just taken off his trench coat.

Dean felt some flashbacks from the past few weeks that were gathering in his gut and slowly coming up his throat. He could still feel the archangel’s anger and how determinedly he was pursuing his plans. He was cruel and calculating, and he owned him.

The memory of all the blood Michael shed, while he had his fucking hands on the steering wheel of Dean’s body, drove him just crazy. This was blood that was on his hands now. Well, not really, but… anyway. He was the one who let Michael in. He had violated all of their rules and principles and initiated this worst-case scenario. And he didn’t listen to Cas.

“Dean…” the angel began. He was still not quite sure what Dean expected of him. Then he added, “How are you feeling?“, but didn’t come any closer.

Dean knew, Cas would definitely be able to sense if Michael was still there, but Dean wanted to assure him with his own words that Michael was gone.

“There is no more archangel… Of that I’m sure. But I’m… I’m…” The hunter swallowed, because he didn’t really know how to explain. To distract himself from his trembling hands, he squeezed some two-in-one shower gel onto his palm and began washing his hair for the third time.

“I’m still feeling so… unclean. Somehow I can still feel him, Cas.” Dean shook his head in disgust. “Huh. Probably some perverse reverberation of the possession. Does that sound awkward? It’s like there is blood on my hands… Damn, Michael killed so many innocent people… even if they were monsters, they didn’t deserve to die this way - ”

“Dean, it is horrible what happened to those people, but that is not on you. Michael turned out to be a monster himself, with unpredictable plans. You cannot impose this burden on yourself.”

Dean didn’t say a word, so Cas repeated it, louder, in his rough voice: “It’s not your fault, Dean.”

No, it was not.

Dealing with the killing and torturing was tough, but… this wasn’t everything…

…

It was pretty much at the beginning of all that shit.

“Oh no, you still dare to think of this filthy traitor, that poor version of an angel, even though you’re carrying the most powerful celestial being inside you now? How tremendously disappointing.”

Dean could hear Michael’s voice so clearly in his mind, it was terrifying.

“But, ah, all those disgusting things you did… together. For God’s sake, have you no sense of shame, Dean Winchester? Come on… why don’t you let your inhibitions fall for me too?”

Dean tried to scream.

“Hm? Yes, I think we should get to know each other a little bit better, since we will spend a lot of time together from now on.”

Then Dean - no - Michael laid his hand on Dean’s crotch.

“Oh Dean… I know you think your body is adorable. You know that pride is a deadly sin, right?”

Dean could only watch his own hands rubbing up and down, until Michael forced him to open the zip of his pants.

…

Dean inhaled sharply and squinted, because the shampoo somehow found its way through his eyelashes. No one but him knew where the salty taste on his lips came from.

Cas took some steps toward the shower. Dean could see him from the corner of his half-closed eyes. He continued to massage his head, absolutely aware of the fact, that Cas’ eyes were all over him.

Oh, if he would just…

Dean wanted to forget. Right now, he didn’t want to talk about that fucked-up bullshit that happened in the past weeks. He couldn’t help it… he was a weak human-being who needed distraction, even if it was for just for a short moment. Maybe there would come a time when he was ready to talk about this… but not now.

His hands wandered down the sides of his neck to his chest, spreading more shower gel all over his body. Ah, the water was soothingly hot. But not nearly hot enough. He hurried to prevent the gel from dripping to the floor by running his palms over his abs and his lower back. The moment his hands reached his ass, he could literally hear Cas’ swallowing despite the sound of water.

While Dean’s own touches slowly returned to his front side, Cas put down his jacket. Dean’s fingers reached the base of his cock, which had swelled steadily since Cas started talking. Oh, that voice did things to him…

Suddenly, Dean felt a cold puff, like a gentle breeze behind him, but it was gone as quickly as it had come, when Cas closed the steamed up glass door behind him.

Finally.

Castiel embraced him from behind, shirt and tie and even pants still in place, but the angel’s elegant hands were already touching Dean’s chest, so tenderly that Dean wasn’t even sure at first whether the feeling was real or not.

Within seconds, his clothes were wet, but Cas didn’t care. Cas never cared about anything as unimportant as clothing, when it came to satisfying Dean. If only he thought of all the ripped shirts, stained pants and crumpled ties…

Yes, there… Dean thought dazedly as Cas skilled fingers made his nipples rise.

Only now Dean realized how much he had really longed for Castiel’s touch. The hunter dropped completely into Cas’ arms. He leaned against him like man who lost his ability to stand on his own two feet. But he didn’t need to have a steady stand, at least not in this moment, because Cas was here. He was here, and Dean was saved and free.

“Oh geez… I missed you so much Cas…” he mumbled softly, as he shut his eyes.

Cas ran his right hand across Dean’s torso, slowly coming down to his hard cock, caressing it gently before he clasped his fingers firmly around the shaft.

“Ahh…” The passionate moan escaped the hunter’s open mouth and he didn’t come to close it again, because Cas’ other hand had long reached his chin, encompassing it as if it was a precious frame made of fragile crystal. Thumb close to Dean’s lower lip, Cas leaned forward.

Before he started to kiss him, he breathed: “Dean… I missed you too. You can not imagine how much I missed you.”

***

Not much later, he came unexpectedly hard, shoulders pressed against the soaked clothes that stuck to Castiel’s body, who would surely have won any wet-t-shirt contest on the planet.

Dean would never admit it, but only now he knew for sure that Michael was gone. No more archangel. Only one perfectly weird, wonderful blue-eyed angel, and this one owned him for real.

***THE END***

Well, I hope you enjoyed this little-one-shot! Thank you so much for reading ^^

A big THANK YOU goes out to @cas-watches-over-you, for her incredibly cool shower-animation! I’m still staring at it way too long, haha.

💖

#destiel #destiel fic #destiel one-shot #14x03 coda #the scar #dean and cas in the shower #a background story for Drew #because they are not playing bingo here

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