#the boy who ruins everything

[armandposting]

I can't think about armand's age/gender dysphoria without wanting to scream for a thousand years. how he's constantly seen as a young boy because he was turned at 17 but by that point even before he's lived a minute as a vampire he already hasn't felt like a boy for years. and all the men who see him this way want to use him like a man without treating him as one. he's constantly saying to their faces that he is a man with wants and desires and feelings and they're like hmm that's nice. not to me though. but not in a way that protects any of the child in him. they're not like, you're a boy and that means you should be kept safe. they're like, you're a boy and that means whatever I do to you is not real. because you're not real and now you're so frozen that no matter what you do you never will be. literally no wonder he has every problem.

[edge-oftheworld]

yeah I know Luke’s been running around saying he ‘can be a bit of a pessimist’ but I just wanna give him a little bit more credit than that. he’s been through so much and yet we’ll hear him talking about times that are ‘marred with trauma’ but still he can’t ever regret for getting him to where he is today. this whole year he’s been making an effort to do things that scare him and he even finds hard, he’s been pushing himself out of his comfort zone and doing 1000 solo interviews as well as his shows and last year he went to bogota to film 7 music videos in 2 days and believed he could do it and he did. he talks about mental health related things in such a way that’s filled with acceptance, not complaint or bitterness but dare I say even optimism, dropping horrifying little descriptions to already heartbreaking songs since 2021 and then turning around and saying writing songs is what gets him through it, he ‘wouldn’t have a good relationship with anything’ if he didn’t make them but he’s super proud of himself after and wasn’t put off by how much work it was gonna be even though it did make him apprehensive and he goes and mentions how it wasn’t easy. you look at everything we know of him for the last decade and a half and realise, maybe it was never easy. but someone once described optimism as curiosity + resilience rather than being naively happy all the time in denial of everything going on around. and with that active brain and all the things he figures out while writing all his beautiful songs there’s definitely curiosity there. and with everything he’s been through to keep choosing to be himself and do whatever he needs to do there’s so much resilience. and I’ve seen this spirit in the songs of sounds good feels good and 5sos5, as well as littered through wfttwtaf and boy; every project being a quiet, kinda emo, statement of survival. I’m just one fan with too many opinions but this is something I’ve always loved about the band, and a decent portion of it was always brought to the table by luke and idk I just think we should acknowledge it

[pricegouge]

Anybody better at writing intrigue and and angst than me wanna write Price getting gone girl'd? Or perhaps poly 141?

I just think the resulting arm's race of craziness would make for some good fucking reading

[whenthegoldrays]

Eun Gyeol and Yichan both going to their crushes’ houses to check on them and make sure they were okay after the festival only to be brushed off because “we live in different worlds” 😭😭😭😭

[i3utterflyeffect]

@violetthunderstormokay i'm not putting this all on the prev post because dear god i'm not bombarding op lgsdfkglsgjlfgslkgjfld

but! i've talked about it before (i THINK) at least once. quick disclaimer: i swear on god these guys were around before deltarune. me and mystic were just fucking around with this idea already because what if 'haha video game isekai was fucked up'.

ANYWAY Chaosverse mainly takes place inside a creepypasta-level virtual reality which may or may not be alive (it is and it has trauma because of course it does <3) and... well. B is not originally a moth! He is in fact a player, and ends up... maybe accidentally stealing a guy's body.

the person's body he stole? Hud! And the game has a sense of humor because guess where Hud gets stuck.

the hud. <3

Hud isn't normally that aggressive but between the game trying to suppress his emotions, the game not understanding that anger is also an emotion, and also having no sensation of contact with the outside world, he kind of goes a little bit mad. Especially since he's under the impression that B is fully an adult making these decisions despite Hud actively trying to tell him to get out of his body in the most direct way he can (which is unfortunately just creepypasta style)

Outside in the real world though, B is (approximately) 14 and has a very difficult home life and is completely unaware that he is very very very transgender. He uses the game as escapism from his real life, but unfortunately, at this point sentience is becoming a common thing!

You know who's cusping on the brink of sentience at the absolute worst time?

Birch.

Birch is aware that something is terribly wrong with his brother, but isn't sure what, and it drives them to become really really paranoid until they end up accidentally attacking B (and Hud) with a baseball bat after getting scared by them. Of course Birch immediately snaps out of it and calls the ambulance, but both Hud and B die.

WHICH IS WHERE THE TIME TRAVEL KICKS IN because apparently the game has savestates! i would say the game wasn't done with them but in reality the game has no fucking clue what happened either. it just tanked when the two of them died. that was when it resolved that it should maybe just Stop Fucking With The NPCs because somehow things KEEP GOING WRONG. it hates the styx family so much it will inconvenience them at any point possible.

also even though the savestate did load about maybe 10 years before B arrived, he ends up getting a body, this time separate of hud!

remember how i said the clones other than Chaos and Carnage have no brain activity? they were cloned from a player character, therefore they are registered as players even though no one is there.

after discovering B is also, in some sense, her kid, Jenna ends up taking them in. Hud isn't very happy about this, obviously, but B has become stuck in the game, so a lot more of his unhealthy coping mechanisms shine through, and eventually Hud finds out this is LITERALLY A KID and is absolutely fucking mortified. didn't mention this before but Hud was actually in college so he's horrified that he just. literally bullied a kid who already clearly wasn't doing that good mentally. the others don't know anything about this, and even though both of the Styx twins are dealing with their own issues (mr. 'i essentially bullied a kid who has infinite trauma already' and mg. 'HOLY SHIT I KILLED A PERSON HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD I'M JUST GOING TO PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED AND HOPE THIS DOESN'T BECOME AN EMOTIONAL SAW TRAP' [it will]), B doesn't exactly have anywhere else to go so Jenna is taking care of them. this does culminate in a lot of issues but eventually after talking it out Hud essentially becomes a very protective older brother to B.

birch is fine don't worry about him. he's definitely not dealing with a nuclear bomb of repressed trauma 👍

[soath]

One thing I love about Ashton and Fearne is that Ashton very aggressively projects onto her all the things they want to be; blasé, confident, effortlessly loved, capable of shaking off anything. They see the best, brightest parts of her but it's an admiration that often obscures her real fears and sensitivities! She's not just the impulsive, flirty fae, she's really scared for her friends. She's a sheltered young woman who's never truly lost someone they loved before. Ashton connects instinctively with her whimsy, her need for challenge, the bouts of spite, the urge to shake things up, the "level of crazy that I'm kind of into" but he can't grasp the degree to which she'd be messed up if he died in front of her. Coming off of so many years of nihilistic self-pity, it's hard to recognize that your actions impact other people, and I think part of the reason they wanted Fearne is because they thought that exploding in front of her wouldn't be as bad as doing so in front of the others. Just take his stuff, it's fine!

(It's not fine.)

[liesmultixxx]

“But you are what you did and I’ll forget you but I’ll never forgive”

is another excellent line I can dedicate to the people who bullied me

thank you taylor🙏🏻

[sweetshire]

So, @silv-paru sent Sherlock Holmes for the character opinion bingo. thanks a bunch for this (and for your patience. my god, i’m answering this a week late. typical me behaviour). you’re a darling :D

Did you know, i used to tell these stories to my friends? they delighted in them AND i got a chance to sort of ramble on and on abt him and watson. it was a win-win, really. ah, those were the days! now i haven’t reblogged much of him this month at all. i miss him. I MISS HIM.

Onto the bingo: well. he’s The quintessence of gender™ to me. and i relate to him so so much. fav character of all time fr. i want to carry him in my pocket at all times & study him. like. do i want to BE him OR am i IN LOVE with him, ykwim? pssh who knows? certainly not me. uh-huh ‘a beast unleashed’ -does this refer to me or him? you choose. oh re: canon, i’m ignoring the part where holmes dies (or y’know, is dead for 3 years). that’s too angsty.

[widowshill]

r/v + loneliness.

102 / Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca, ch. 4 / 4 / 8 / Art Wallace, Shadows on the Wall / 603 / Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca, ch 4. / 473 / Richard Sherman, Demo: "Lovely, Lonely Man/Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Finale" / 2

[uniformbravo]

the natsuyuu manga is so funny the volume will be like "natsume grapples with his desire for unconditional love versus his fear of burdening those around him, knowing the more he opens his heart to the people he cares about the more he stands to lose if something goes wrong; these people are the warmest he's ever known and he's the happiest he's ever been and that scares him because he can't shake the feeling that it's fleeting and fragile and could all disappear at any moment, so all he can do is fight to protect everything he loves and hope one day he'll deserve the precious happiness he's been given here"

and then the blurb on the back is like "natsume climbs up into the attic to look for some books, but... uh oh... is that a... g-g-g-ghost??!? things are about to get freaky deaky in here if he doesn't do something... quick!!! will natsume be able to handle it before the clock strikes thirteen, or will he become... gulp... the ghost's next meal?!?"

[professionallydeadinside]

I finished The Final Descent.

[apotelesmaa]

I think the fact that u can just get prescribed ssris without being told about side effects to watch out for and then have your dose raised and suddenly have your mental health absolutely tank is. So funny. Absolutely incapable of feeling emotions to the point where all of my relationships are fucked (unable to feel affection/love) my academic career is fucked (unable to feel any sense of urgency towards assignments/attendance) my Everything Is Fucked (unable to gauge emotional well-being until things are actually hazardous) but at least I also can’t feel the Consuming Despair. Giving zombie realness. Going through the motions pilled. Apathymaxxing.

[chaotic-aro-incarnate]

Neo in this one bts photo of Only Friends is making me loose my mind. I already know that Boston is going to be my favorite give me the most toxic self-sabotaging man to ever live I can't wait to watch him burn everything down including himself

[thedevilsfamiliar]

Fic: this is a Apollo/Percy fic, it has no happy ending and there’s MANY tags saying it’s gonna fuck you up

Me: yeah yeah how bad can it be

Me, 4 days later: I. What. WHAT? I can’t. I can’t.

Me, 6 days later: oh my god I— the author is nuts. The author is crazy. I should’ve read the tags.

Me, 10 days later: -angry and crying- the fic was so good I hate it

[lyricalchrysanthemum]

Pokemashe johto aka the weird patrol!!!

[callme-l]

Flapjack ain't dead, I'm in denial

This fucking bird fought like hell and he's not going to die now because of insane little guy with big emotional addiction issues

He will come back! He's still in the Luz bag and he just needs to be cured, right? I mean, his soul didn't even leave his body, right? He will come back, won't he?