chaggie vs alastor being a nosy gossip when it comes to potential past break up drama and possible current relationship drama (alastor loses)
Charlie: "Not that I MIND seeing you around, Alastor-"
Vaggie: "I do."
Charlie: "-the hotel is your home too after all-"
Vaggie: "A home. Not a radio exhibit."
Charlie: "-maaaaaybe there's something we can help you with though? Since you've kinda been, errrr, hanging around?"
Vaggie: "Leering."
Charlie: "I get the feeling you wanna ask us something, basically!"
Alastor: "Oh I DO indeed! But you know, you two were just being such a CHARMING little couple, just the PICTURE of young love, I couldn't BEAR to interrupt you~!"
Vaggie: "Great, so fuck off."
Charlie: "We could use some time sitting together without you- or anyone!- staring at us the whole time."
Vaggie: "You can donate that time for free or over your dead body."
Alastor: "Well WELL then! What a CHARMING little offer from a CHARMING little lady!
Vaggie: "You have until three. Two."
Alastor: "I'll just make my inquiries about THIS picture and be on my way!"
Charlie: "What picture- ohhhh THAT picture...."
Alastor: "Familiar, no~?"
Charlie: "Yyyyyyeesssss...."
Vaggie: "Who's the guy that looks like boyband fell in a vat of comic book chemicals? You two look. Close."
Charlie: "Thhhat'ssss my ex boyfriend."
Vaggie: "You're ex?"
Alastor: "Oh REALLY! Do tell~"
Vaggie: "She doesn't have to tell you SHIT, asshole."
Charlie: "No it's okay, it wasn't that bad!"
Charlie: "I mean."
Charlie: "The relationship wasn't great and I didn't even cry after it ended which might be a sign of something maybe although I DID cry about being alone again if that counts.... and, we haven't really talked since breaking up but-"
Vaggie: "I won't kill him, sweetie, but I can stab him for you."
Charlie: "He wouldn't deserve it."
Vaggie: "Ask me if I care."
Charlie: "Heh. It's fine, Vaggie, really. He was perfectly nice to me! We just, didn't make a good pair..."
Alastor: "Pray tell the reason for this apparently INCONSOLABLE mis-match?"
Vaggie: "Alastor I swear-"
Charlie: "I guess it really boils down to him wanting a girlfriend and me wanting a, well, a partner."
Vaggie: "Isn't that what a girlfriend is?"
Charlie: "Mmeh? Not always, I guess?"
Alastor: "Oh will you LOOK at THAT! I have a fresh box of tissues here, and popcorn, and HOURS until my next broadcast~!"
Vaggie: "If you giggle even once over this I'll broadcast my spear right up your-"
Charlie: (laughs) "No you won't, Vaggie."
Vaggie: (whispering) "We don't have to let HIM know that."
Charlie: "Pretty sure he already does? Everyone else in the hotel knows you'd never really shish kabab them or anything."
Vaggie: "Everyone knows?" (drooping) "Are you sure?"
Charlie: "Yep! Niffty was crying about it last week!"
Vaggie: "Well FINE but your ex doesn't live in the hotel, I could at least threaten him."
Charlie: "Empty threat... I think that's why..."
Alastor: (leaning in) "HMMM~?"
Vaggie: (shoving him back) "Why what, babe?"
Charlie: "Why it's different, with you."
Vaggie: "Different?"
Alastor: "SOMEHOW the LESBIANISM isn't different enough already?"
Charlie: "We're partners."
Vaggie: "Yeah?"
Charlie: "Vaggie, we're actually partners."
Vaggie: "I know??"
Charlie: "You listened to the 'Redeem Sinners!' rants and didn't laugh, or doze off, or start messing with your phone half way through my first two-hour long presentation-"
Vaggie: "How could I be messing with my phone when we were recording your practice run?"
Charlie: "-EXACTLY! It was, is, a serious thing for you!"
Vaggie: "Charlie you've seriously been working on this for decades."
Charlie: "And my friends were FINE with that! My friend? Friend singular if we don't count Razzle and Dazzle- my former friend. Whatever! It was okay if I had weird pipe dreams to nowhere, that was totally fine! And when I started dating her brother, he was fine with it to! I was quirky! Silly! Eccentric! Naïve! DUMB!"
Vaggie: "You are not d-"
Charlie: "I know I know! It was FINE!"
Vaggie: "You sound less than fine about it?"
Alastor: "Here it comes~!"
Charlie: "Because 'just fine' sucked ASS."
Vaggie: "Oh..."
Alastor: "OH HO HO!"
Charlie: "It was always just Charlie's dumb little daydream or Charlie wasting her time! Charlie with her dumb head in the heavenly clouds!"
Vaggie: "Oh sweetie, hey-"
Charlie: "It was a quirk he was OKAY WITH. It wasn't that bit a deal! It was a big deal to ME but that was FINE if I didn't waste too much of my time on it, or our time, or his time-
Charlie: "And sure he wasn't laughing in a mean way, I think, probably, but I still HATED when he'd do the amused little oh Charlie's being silly again chuckle!"
Vaggie: "Did you tell him? Did he stop?"
Charlie: "Tell him what? He wasn't doing anything wrong!"
Vaggie: "But Charlie, that's not the point-"
Charlie: "No the point is- HE didn't think he was doing anything wrong treating sinners like immortal chew toys! Everyone else does it! THEY do it to THEMSELVES! And they're damned anyway, Charlie, they're all gonna get killed horribly someday for the shit they did, so what the HELL does it matter!?"
Vaggie: "It matters. You've shown people how much it matters."
Charlie: "No I haven't."
Vaggie: "Yes you have, sweetie. People know better now-"
Charlie: "No they DON'T!"
Charlie: "But you do."
Charlie: "And we're... our hotel is starting to maybe help some people kinda take us a little seriously...."
Charlie: "It's..."
Alastor: "Quite a lot of WE and OUR and US in that last sentence, my dear!"
Vaggie: "No shit, dumbass. We run the damn hotel together."
Charlie: "Yeah. We do."
Alastor: "A fact made while staring at DEAR Vaggie in the most REVOLTINGLY lovesick way, I might add!!"
Charlie: (laughs) "Sorry Alastor- I can't help it."
Charlie: "She's my partner, after all."
Vaggie: (smiles) "It's on my resume."
Alastor: "SICKENING HA HA!"
Vaggie: "Right above girlfriend and hotel manager."
Charlie: (BEAMS)
Vaggie: "I have no idea how anyone could miss out on that chance, honestly."
Charlie: "I'VE no idea how anyone else could ever even come CLOSE to being you, Vaggie."
Vaggie: "Well... the guy in the picture is way too tall for starters."
Charlie: (snorts)
Alastor: "FACINATING. You'll both have to excuse me! My stomach is too DELICATE for this PUTRID display of emotional bliss~"
Vaggie: "You eat rotting deer carcasses, Alastor."
Charlie: "EW he WHAT-?"
Charlie: "Ah um! Oh that's....! ERRRRR interesting-?"
Vaggie: "It's gross."
Alastor: "Aue contraire my dears, YOU TWO are the ones who are GROSS~"
Alastor: (fades back into shadows)
Vaggie: "If I told him that trick was getting tacky, think he'd stop?"
Vaggie: "... babe?"
Charlie: "I think...he took the picture?"
Vaggie: "He what."
Charlie: "The picture of my ex, I think he kinda, borrowed it?"
Vaggie: (groans) "WHY is our friend such a creep."
Charlie: (sing-songs) "Be-cause you ha-ven't killed him yyyyet!!!!"
Vaggie: "Maybe tomorrow I will."
Charlie: (smirks)
Vaggie: "...."
Vaggie: "Look, I can't at least still daydream about it, alright?"
Charlie: "Sure you can." (hugs) "Softie."
Vaggie: "RRgh." (hugs back) "I'm literally only soft with you."
Charlie: "And with our friends."
Vaggie: "Am not."
Charlie: "You are! In your own, special Vaggie way~"
Vaggie: "...."
Charlie: "....which admittedly is mostly about not killing them all in frustration several times a day, but that's a pretty big thing in Hell!!!"
Vaggie: (groans again) (snuggles her)
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