#the dialogue I have is so sexy so I must keep it secret for now

[fairy-grotto]

Something something something p on his knees all slutty sworn swordsman style…

I have some dialogue rattling around in my brain…

[maryellencarter]

so apparently having a new lupin thing i am distinctly enjoying (lupin zero) is what it took to get me around to watching the lupin thing i had not seen yet that i really hadn't heard anything positive about (part 6, not counting "the times" which i have already seen and loved the hell out of, but have not managed to watch since july because... you know)

thoughts so far, as of finishing episode 7 (i'm watching the subs then the dub for each episode, which helps me follow details better but definitely takes longer):

* wow. so you know how i like to say about part 5 that, love it or hate it, that is a piece of media that knew exactly what it wanted to do and went for it? this is the opposite. the only episode so far that seemed to have an actual goal in mind is the one where the goal was "i am going to retell an ernest hemingway story, and also insert into the dialogue the titles of every other hemingway story in the same collection", which sure did do what it set out to do, but was it a thing worth setting out to do?

...well, given that i am told the guest writers for each non-main-plot episode in the first half were all instructed "you must base your episode on a specific piece of crime fiction", i have to admit that playing the world's most pretentious version of the game where you try to write a paragraph without any E's in it was... probably the most Mamoru Oshii possible way of complying with a stupid requirement, and definitely hewed closer to the spirit of the rule than the one where NPCs with names relevant to Ellery Queen did fuck-all of importance.

episode by episode:

* "enter sherlock holmes". in which sherlock holmes looks a great deal like somebody tried to make a 2D version of first!jigen and failed to grasp why first!jigen is sexy. also in the english version all the brits are dubbed by american-sounding americans, which is the most auditorily disorienting version of sherlock holmes i have heard (although i must admit i never did get around to watching the veggietales version, but if there's one thing the veggietales guys have demonstrated their commitment to doing from day one, it's accents... and now I'm humming "oh no, what we gonna do")

where the fuck was i? right. so albert gets worfed to demonstrate that holmes is a badass. why on earth albert would be doing spy work personally in a country where he *doesn't* have millions i've strings to pull, i have no fucking idea. also him going straight to "shoot myself in the head with my last bullet" as an exit strategy compares really badly to the bit in part 5 which... either it was supposed to mirror this, or somebody just failed to do their research, but that moment near the end of part 5 where jigen's on the run alone, down to his last bullet, there are multiple guys about to come around the corner and capture or kill him, and then albert rescues him.

and yeah, that's a moment where you have to wonder if it crossed jigen's mind to use his last bullet for himself instead of going down fighting a hopeless fight, but jigen has never been someone who -- i can't recall a single moment in 53 years that we've seen him actively ready to die. he does plenty of self-destructive shit, but even when a fight can't logically be won, he keeps fighting, even if all he can do is run his mouth. having albert jump straight to suicide in a scene that *has* to be a callback... it doesn't feel right thematically and it doesn't speak to a great understanding of albert as a character (such as he's been so far).

oh yeah, also there was the intial setup for the antagonist secret society "the raven", whose mysterious hooded executioner blew up a guy in protective custody in scotland yard. they weren't terribly impressive. even though i haven't actually seen twcfm, only read spoilers, i feel like a creepy bird-themed secret society is maybe something you're not gonna beat that show on using well?

* "detective and crook". in which jigen and goemon also get worfed to further prove that holmes is a badass. jeez, guys, just give him purple eyes and lavender hair already, huh? lupin also continues his mary-poppins-esque habit of never explaining anything. we do get jigen riding on the back of fujiko's motorcycle, which is a rarity (and keeping his hands where they belong, as opposed to Lupin). fujiko sticks a scroll of paper down her cleavage a la first contact, so that the camera can zoom in on it for maximum jiggle physics opportunity. and lupin blows up a whole-ass demolition site full of cops including zenigata and yata -- none of whom get hurt, but *wow*, that's a life choice.

* "adventure along the (replica) transcontinental railroad". in which lupin wears the biggest turban you ever saw, npcs with ellery queen names do nothing much, fujiko gets whole-ass tied to railroad tracks dudley do-right style and nearly beheaded, jigen and goemon ride a bicycle built for two and also pretend to be cosplaying as themselves in order to throw zenigata off the scent (in the dub, goemon suggests that zenigata page lupin to the front desk like a lost child, which is delightfully goemon), and jigen gets to do some fancy trick shooting that i still don't understand after seeing it twice in order to flip a railway switch and send the runaway train onto a siding. he shot a streetlight and something flew out and somehow that made the switch do the thing?

* "the killers in the diner". in which mamoru oshii plays silly buggers with hemingway titles, lupin and jigen in disguise are voiced by other actors until they're revealed (which has barely ever happened... in the english dub at least, i can think of *one* time a disguised lupin was voiced by lex lang for a scene, that's it), fujiko appears to be disguised as an extremely depressed pippi longstocking for reasons that are never explained, and a bunch of japanese people get to take a fairly reasonable stab at pronouncing "dulles". also it's established that fujiko is bad at cooking, which i think might have been fanon previously but i can't think of anywhere else it was actually established.

* "the imperial city dreams of thieves". a two-parter in which lupin gets dropped into a world based on the works of japanese mystery author edogawa ranpo (this was a pen name based on the name "edgar allan poe"). it's pretty solidly paced for the most part, which is not something you can really count on part 6 for so far, but it's also... well.

so. it's a story set in the late 1920s, about a giant mysterious golden clock/orrery from mongolia, guarded by the heirs of genghis khan, one of whom decides that entrusting it to a young female japanese "explorer" (visually coded very much like the white egyptologists of the era, similarly dedicated to bringing back other cultures' precious artifacts for display, and treated as an unquestionably virtuous character) is obviously the wise and correct choice to keep it out of harm's way -- the youthful guardian of the device accompanying the explorer back to japan as a bodyguard and servant, as well as continuing to guard the clock.

the japanese imperial army, who (the episode does not explain) are most of the reason there's all this war and unrest on the mainland that make the clock's guardian decide it's better off in civilized japan (okay the episode *all but* says the civilized part out loud)... where was i? right. the japanese imperial army, who are busy conquering mainland countries in the whole pan-asian empire thing they did in the run-up to world war ii (christ, it's been forever since i studied that part of history... if i recall, their selling point was "asia for the asiatics", as in they wanted white people out, but in practice they wanted to rule all of asia themselves, so it was more like "asia for the japanese empire") -- the japanese imperial army want the clock in order to give it to a puppet dictator they'll install in mongolia. our young explorer, who is the daughter of a powerful... department store conglomerate?... look, i'm sure it packs some kind of an emotional punch in japanese, but now i'm just cracking myself up imagining the heiress of like woolworth's or sears roebuck facing off against the fbi.

anyway. as i was saying. our young heroine declines to give away the clock, as having it on display at her family's department store is clearly the best place for the cultural artifact that determines rulership of mongolia. (i'm being sarcastic. the episode isn't.) kidnapping and shenanigans ensue.

also, as you would expect from an alternate universe story, there are characters who look exactly like the lupin crew. lupin is put into the role of "golden mask", a phantom thief edogawa ranpo created based on that most popular of phantom thieves, arsène lupin (the first). fujiko becomes "black lizard", a femme fatale originally working with the villain and face of the japanese army -- i think the villain's name is daidouji, but i think leia also picked that out for one of jigen's aliases in one of our stories, so either she has something she could explain to me or that's a very confusing coincidence.

goemon, it will turn out, is also his real-world self along with lupin -- i'll get there in a minute. zenigata is a fictional (secondary-fictional) police inspector with a slightly different name and an almost identical hat. and jigen... jigen is one of the factors that make this episode what you might call, on the internet, Problematic.

so. the villain is a very large japanese army guy named colonel daidouji. his ever-present shadow and sidekick is a very, very familiar-looking major whose name is not initially given, and who very nearly manages to put a bullet in lupin on first meeting him.

now, jigen's au version being evil, y'know, it's a hard sell, it's not impossible that i'd buy it if it was done right, but the thing is that you never have to buy it. tv shows have this need to make au versions of the heroes always still have some kind of heroic core. the really steep issue comes with what kind of a hero he turns out to be.

the character who looks like jigen is eventually revealed to be a character named major yoshiaki hongo from the works of a writer named minetaro yamanaka (whose first google result for me is, uh, the wikipedia article on antisemitism in japan, that's... probably not irrelevant to my point here?). major hongo, at least as described in the episode, is a badass soldier who goes undercover to root out corruption, which is all very well and good... except for the part where his little speech about who he is and what he's doing here, in both languages, leads with "fighting for the liberation of asia". aka, as we discussed, conquering it for the japanese empire.

which, together with the whole misappropriating cultural treasures with the enthusiastic cooperation and servitude of their native owners arc... really, really makes one wonder about many choices that were made.

(oh yeah, it turns out the whole thing is a virtual reality mindfuck, major hongo's badassful hero reveal moment is basically the last thing that happens before everybody explodes into pixels except lupin and goemon, it turns out somebody was trying to get a passcode to lupin's hideout, which they failed at because he was just that smart, but also a couple of shots at the end of the episode imply that everything did actually happen for real somehow. that part is confusing and rushed. the loving morals about cultural artifacts and the liberation of asia from non-japanese rule take precedence.)

(okay, major hongo had a faceoff with goemon who cut a notch in his cap brim so you could see one of his eyes, that was a *very* cool bit of visual design that you could never do with proper jigen because he would murder you for slicing his hat. and then goemon toppled dramatically off a bridge because he is the biggest drama queen in the entire cast and we're talking *including lupin iii*.)

like. i grew up on (western) fiction from this era and earlier. the part where i notice or mind the imperialism is aftermarket. i can, if i try, shut it off and enjoy the show. but, like writing an episode composed largely of ernest hemingway references... is that a goal worth having? especially in a worldwide political climate like this where it's very beneficial to notice the overton window shifting before it slams shut on your damn fingers.

* "an untold tale". in which zenigata is summarily slandered by both lupin and the writers. lupin deduces that the zenigata he's working with is actually sherlock holmes in disguise based on the premise that zenigata is not someone who does things like... run headlong into danger? selflessly protect innocent bystanders? kick ass? stick to a trail?... and is instead someone who, while having a solid idea of lupin's next destination, goes and gets blackout drunk and passes out in a bar instead of staking it out or at least yelling "LUPIN" a lot in the general vicinity.

i guess there's also plot, supposedly. this consists of lupin explaining his movements at a certain time, clearly and in order, over a flashback that agrees with his description. No unreliable narrator in sight. No evading every question like it's "give Jigen rubber bullets and practice dodging" day at the hideout. Just reading pages of boring exposition while being ineffectually shot at by a Colonel Sebastian Moran wielding one of the clunkiest air-guns I've ever seen the man burdened with.

(I haven't gotten around to watching the dub of this last-named episode yet, but I hear that somebody majorly failed at googling, overcommitted to "all R's in the Japanese must become L's in English", and created the character of Colonel Sebastian *Molan*. I'm not sure I'm gonna have spoons for that one for a bit.)

[shina913]

BTS Fic Masterlist

© shina913, 2024

These are all of my original works unless I indicate in my A/Ns that a song, movie, TV show, or certain dialogue, or prompt inspired me. I will never claim another content creator's work as my own so please do not copy, claim my works as your own, or translate and post elsewhere.

Thank you!

Updated, Jul 2024

⋰Key: Fluff (F); Angst (A); Smut (S); Crack (C)

⋰Warnings: Click on each published fic to view.

█ Ristretto (2-shot); F - A - S

A random café work day leads to something more

█ Intersect (completed series); F - A - S

You hate him, he hates you. You were both fine staying in your own lanes--until you're forced to work together on a make-or-break project for your company.

➞Splish (Drabble); F - S You and Namjoon find a way to reconnect after a busy summer at work.

➞Bag of You (Drabble); F You come across an email that wasn't meant for you and it sends your afternoon into a tailspin.

➞The Thrill (Drabble); F - S “Nooo…stop it.”

█ Art Murmur (one-shot); F - S

You and Namjoon have worked together for years. You've harbored secret crushes on each other for a long time but neither of you have had the courage to take the plunge. One summer, you decided that you've circled each other long enough.

█ Stubble (one-shot); S

So Namjoon forgot to shave…

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Namjoon; S

💬 ❝ It felt very similar to an actual date, as if we’d come back to my place after a dating app meet-up – except the part about me slipping him cash in an envelope, of course. The intimacy happened naturally. He didn’t ask me for directions on how to turn me on, I just let him do his thing. ❞

█ Flowerworks; F - A

The love you had in your past...unfinished, untested, lost love...seems so easy, so childish to those who chose to settle down. But it’s actually the purest, most concentrated stuff.

█ Cortado; F

"There must be something about trains. You never know what to expect."

█ Fire to the Low; S

Namjoon gets a new haircut but you have to wait until you’re alone to let him know just how much you love it.

█ Nothing; S

If there was anything that made you feel un-sexy, it was heat and humidity.

█ Dandelion; A - S

You and Namjoon reunite for a special evening.

█ Scions, Kim Line+JHS (ongoing series); F - A -S

Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

█ On Tilt (ongoing series); F - A - S

You’ve said time and time again that you wouldn’t lose yourself to him. You were in control now. You were going to make better choices. For a minute there, you were able to keep up with it. It wasn’t ‘til Namjoon’s extended break that you found yourself falling into old habits. Will you ever learn to quit Kim Namjoon?

█ Merger (+ Choi Seungcheol), S

Summary: "Oh, so you guys are a package deal then?"

█ Scale (completed series); F - A - S - C

Kim Seokjin lives in a world where money is no object as he is the heir to his family's lucrative company; OC is a scrappy go-getter who has to work hard at multiple jobs to meet her financial obligations. When their paths cross, they'll have to figure out whether they can find a balance point between themselves and their lives.

█ Scions, Kim Line+JHS (ongoing series); F - A -S

Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

█ Nothing; F - S

You can’t get laid while on vacation with your kids…or can you?

█ Swing (ON HOLD); F - A

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Seokjin (coming soon)

💬 ❝ Sex is complicated. Desire is usually involved…feelings can end up being involved, even love and commitment may become part of the equation. ❞

█ Revenant (one-shot); F - A

You wake up from a dream and tell Yoongi about it.

█ Churned (one-shot); S

A long weekend away with your friends turns out to be more interesting when they invite an unexpected guest.

█ Whirr (one-shot); F

A morning commute with Yoongi.

█ Stalemate (completed miniseries); F; A; S

"The truth is, I'm not afraid to take that gamble anymore...in the off-chance that I get lucky again and feel the way I felt when I was with you. I'd happily make that bet over and over."

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Yoongi

💬 ❝ When I saw my gynecologist recently after not having sex for a year, she told me, ‘You need to be having sex.’ She told me that my vagina was 'drying up.’ Sex, in and of itself and for its own sake, is also important for a woman’s physical health. ❞

█ Glorified Memories; A

Another late-night phone call with Yoongi

█ Nothing; F

Based on @novelbear 's writing prompt: "brushing their hair for them and smiling fondly as they just ramble about their day"

█ Percussions; A

Min Yoongi, a former CIA explosives expert, now works as a hired hitman. You contact him to enlist his help in exacting revenge on a family of mobsters who murdered your family years ago. Complications arise when Yoongi finds a personal connection to your case.

█ Scions, Kim Line+JHS (ongoing series); F - A -S

Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

█ Sunshine: A Scions Story; F - A -S

A look back at how things between you and Hoseok came to be.

█ Nothing; F

You and Hobi try to make dinner until you start bickering.

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Hoseok (coming soon)

💬 ❝ The majority of women are after some company or someone to listen. It’s often easier to speak to someone anonymous than it is to share details with people close to us, for fear of judgment. Also, people who pay for sex aren’t just losers who can’t get fuck in real life. It’s usually about the thrill. ❞

█ Waves; S

It's Valentine's Day and your boyfriend decides to spice things up with a little surprise for you.

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Jimin; F - S

💬 ❝ By the time he knocked at the door, I was a bottle of wine deep. I answered sheepishly, gripping onto a nearly empty wine glass. He let me know that it’s everyone’s first time once and that there was no need to be nervous. I didn’t need to do anything I didn’t want to. ❞

█ Nothing; F

You surprise Jimin for his birthday.

█ Spin (mini series); F - S

You and your BFF are on the prowl--but mostly you. You find a prospect sitting alone at the bar and shoot your shot.

█ Scions, Kim Line+JHS (ongoing series); F - A -S

Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Taehyung; F - A - S

💬 ❝ If I can hire a massage therapist to help relieve my back pain, a hairdresser to cut my hair, a mechanic to service my car and a handyman to replace a broken door, I should be able to legally hire a man to have sex with me. ❞

█ Nothing; F

You wake Taehyung up at the crack of dawn to get some pastries.

█ Gradation (completed series); F - A - S

On your wedding day, your fiancé leaves you at the altar. While reeling from the embarrassment and heartbreak, your best friend, Jungkook, wants to do everything that he can to help you heal.

█ Coquet (completed series); F - A- S

On your brother's wedding, you dread traveling to see your family–whom you have successfully avoided for over a year after moving across the country for work. In an effort to save face, you hire an escort to get them off your back and perhaps even make your ex–who happens to be the best man–a little jealous.

█ The Boyfriend Experience: Jungkook; F

💬 ❝ He’s a confident man who takes pride in his appearance, but also in how he treats other people. He loves to have a good time, but still holds strong values on being respectful and well-mannered. Chivalry is not dead! ❞

█ Satiated; S

A week without Jungkook has you anxious to get him naked...but things don't work out quite as planned. Your body betrays you and you fall short. Will you finish the job yourself or let him help?

█ Permission; F - S

You get more than what you bargained for during your friend’s bachelorette party weekend.

█ Nothing; F

“I was thinking maybe we could take a quick nap?”

█ Self-Care Sunday; F

You arrive at your mani-pedi appointment to find out that your usual technician is unexpectedly out. Instead, the salon owner’s son offers to do your nails instead.

█ The Boyfriend Experience; F - A- S

The Boyfriend Experience. Always discreet. Satisfaction guaranteed.

█ Nothing (masterlist); F - A - S

A collection of drabbles featuring established relationships in domestic and (mostly) fluffy settings inspired by Bruno Major's song of the same title.

[problematicpervertpod]

recs on recs on recs

Yaoi/Manga I’m reading/have read. Please support the artists on official websites. If you have recs or want to chat about any of these get in my messages right the fuck now my dudes. Also spoilers, also this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, also I think I’m funny sorry in advance.

Dangerous Convenience Store

Tags: Ongoing, self aware lead for the most part, gangs, smut, love triangle, possessive, not rapey, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, college, age gap, good art, muscular bodies, seme is adorable/romantic in sp chapters, sexual awakening, meeting the gang (in two ways!), FAINTS OF CUTENESS/HOTNESS, the memes after every chapter got me gagged, HAHE hahahahahahahahahaha, OMG DO I GET SOME CNC?! (update: short lived), we stan a vocal man (Ahjussi), thigh fucking, my mans be like my thighs hurt fuck my ass instead DECEASED, ass smacking, these memes are so good god damnit, rimming

8/10, I live for Ahjussi (Am I spelling this wrong..)

The New Employee 

-love love love

Tags: ongoing, we stan supportive boyfriends, healthy relationship, boss/employee, smut, office setting, good art, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Love Shuttle

Tags: completed, ABO, enemies to lovers, possessive, coworkers, fake relationship, strong omega, the art sucks but I like the story, art gets better after the 1st season, alphas eyes change colors when happy/anxious, muscular bodies, 7/10, update 10/10 art is meh but fml this storyline is basic af in the best way and it’s the fluff/smut I need, when you’re caught by the folks *cringe*

Hold Me Tight

Tags: ongoing, boss/employee, bodyguard, gio can’t feel heat until felix comes along, uke is strong af, horny bastards, smut, possessive, tragic childhood, moving in together right away, rich seme, felix in a bunny costume though *heart eyes*, dialogue is great, rape in a technical sense but the vibe is written like both characters are all good after? Ex. hospital scene…dub con, ART IS GREAT, hand holding during sex, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Yours to Claim 

Tags: ongoing, love triangle, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, main is big switch energy, reincarnation, jealousy, manipulative, possessive, self aware lead for the most part, toxic af, GREAT ART, college, rich semes, 10/10 will re-read and not even finished, SONOFABITCH that cliff hanger!! Season 3 come thruuuu (I have to wait until November? *cries* BUT MAH LOVE TRIANGLE!!, I want a THROUPLE GOD DAMN IT

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Tags: obsessed with this story, will the incense burner scenes make it?? No tags because I'll never forget this one haha wangxian 5ever, send me all fanfics/fan art you have about this story, love Dark Wangji, Jadecest, ABO/omegaverse, Bottom Wangji/Top Wei Ying, and honestly anything regarding this fandom

Bj Alex

Tags: completed, great art, 11/10 will re-read, cam boy, fanboy, seme is an asshole, uke is so sexy, jealously, rich seme, enemies to lovers kind of?, CHANWOO IS MY BOY FOR LIFE, Chanwoo MD supremacy, BDSM (like really really), fuck I love Chanwoo, college students, rich seme, emotional rollercoaster, uke soft body, mean seme, college life, that one nosy bitch ass guy trying to expose my boys needs to fuck right off, seme split/fake personality, dub con 

Anti PT

Tags: ongoing, 11/10 re-readable, porn with feelings, love triangle, jealousy, attempted non-con, personal training wink wink, main love interest is actually the best, second male lead is a god damn creep, first time, smut, great art, sex addict/constantly horny uke, I WANT A HWI, 

Related: https://www.anime-planet.com/manga/anti-pt/recommendations 

Payback

Tags: ongoing, both are psychopaths tbh, revenge, gangs, uke sells himself to seme, violent seme, entertainment industry, brunette supremacy, what this motherfucker gonna do? hehe , great art, muscular bodies, dead dove do not eat, my mans must be GOOD looking/animal magnetism cause everyone losing their fucking minds, okay this is a comedy I’m dying, he tried to scare him with wanting to be a top but my psycho said REVERSEUNO BITCH I’M A VERSE (wait jk apparently *sigh*), anonymous masked sex (sad n’ kinky)

My Suha

Tags: ongoing, wow this gets dark, possessive af like holy shit, terrible people all around uke, rape, boss/employee, office politics/family politics, smut, characters that are punchable, dead dove do not eat, *velociraptor noises*, avoided this for a while but I’m back because nothing can be more emotionally devastating than Banana Fish, TIE HIM UP, FUCK HIS FACE ALKSJD:ASKD, FUCK SUHA UR SO HOT that dirty talk though YAS, glad I picked this back up lmao, GOD DAMN IT just when the package arrived then this red head fucker *screams*

Shame Application aka Dirty Vibration

Tags: completed, friends to lovers, model seme, cute af uke, love triangle, entertainment industry, smut, kink, all kinds of sex everywhere, realized feelings, mutual pining, jealousy, rich seme, blonde seme, big brother 1984 always watching, 10/10 would re-read, porn with plot, they were roommates!, ~straight~ seme, first times, great art, remembering some cringe but considering the story it’s par for the course

Will You Subscribe

Tags: ongoing, season 1 completed, enemies to lovers, cam boy, office politics, boss/employee, hiding a secret, public sex, stalkers/creepy men, emotionally stunted characters, mutual pining, idiots in lust, lingerie company, slut shaming, jealousy/possessiveness, season 2 bebeh, HOLDING HANDS *velociraptor noises*, LMAO okay my mans is not THAT old how tf does he not know netflix and chill, BUNNY COSTUME (quickly becoming my new fav trope in manga, A+ gang), oh we stan a good boy, wtf is wrong with wanting to do cam work, ‘I wish my marks could become permanent’ *omegaverse wink*, *works for lingerie company* *doesn’t understand where bf gets sexy costumes* like wut kind of fuckery…, cross dressing ftw, roleplay, classic BL miscommunication trope

Hyperventilation

Tags: completed, high school crush, unrequited love, mutual pining, smut, quickie (short story), class reunion, apparently furry with the extra chapter turning my man into a bunny but c'est la vie! https://myreadingmanga.info/korean-bl-animation-hyperventilation-engsub/ this is the animation of the same story, different endings but same in tone (this site is spammy AF but the English subs are so hard to find for this) 8/10 

Unmei no tsugai ga omae da nante

Tags: only one bed, ABO, office setting. Coworkers, enemies to lovers, competitive, equality in the omegaverse, dubcon, real dicks and not lightsabers, fated pair, art is cute af 8/10

K’s Secret

Tags: buckle up buttercup, dead dove do not eat, angst, pining, somnophilia, dub con, non con, boss/employee, manipulative, stalking, forced relationship, tragic childhood background, weird art but gets better,  uke: don’t threaten me with a good time but seriously stop threatening me, possessive & obsessive, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, wow were going full psycho stalker hm?, dating a narcissist is all fun and (mind)games, con non con… ? honestly who tf knows, domestic!, OW MY HEART, the t/n WAP note sent me, ch 51 translated by gen z, do special ep= furry? Wait there’s a maid costume, bunny costume, directors friends keeping it real, rough translations 8/10

Enthusiasm

Tags: ongoing, dead dove do not eat, uke buys seme, masc boys, muscular bodies, fight club, master/slave, rich uke, revenge, real dicks not lightsabers, rough sex, cuckholding, daddy issues, suicide, wow the end of ch 5 punched a hole in my heart, penile implant life,  rough translations makes the storyline wonky, nvm back to lightsabers *star wars noises*, HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY I CAN NOT, shibari, possessive, wait this is cute *velociraptor noises*, angst, no kithes for you “bestie”, OBSESSED, honestly choke him pupper, STAY THE NIGHT ALKSDJA:SLDKJAS:LKDJA:SLDKj, problematic but I’m riding for these two, 

Ichimai Goshi Fetish

Tags: completed, short, fetishes DO start in childhood don’t they *ruminates*, author: describes ML as a beautiful 2D character meanwhile: ML IS 2D character, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, “real dudes don’t interest me” is a MOOD, comedy, jealousy, college setting, dialogue is A+, not lightsabers but not dicks either, first time, when you’re fucked so good you think you’ve died, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4uEq5Nx6ko, hero/villain roleplay. Fluff n smut 10/10

My Purrfect Boss

Tags: completed, tooth rotting fluff because blondie is so FUCKING cute little sensitive soul, golden retriever boyfriend, pure comedy, DECEASED, MY MAN JUST DID THE SLOW BLINK, office setting, boss/employee, ~wasted~ (red dead redemption meme),  FFS SO CUTE, he put a ring on it right away beyonce would be proud af, he protecc he attack but most importantly he hit it from the back, jealousy, honeymoon phase of dating, the ex is a snake (update: oh wow literally), I’m picking up abuse/PTSD vibes based on how Kang reacts to his ex :(, classic BL miscommunication plot, immediately no meme audio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XWSGfYnps) ,  I WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER CHA WTF!!!!!!, gang rape, spiked with drugs that force heat, me rn:*screaming/rage*, psychotic ex/abuser, HE PROTECCC, actual relief after that scene jesus fuck, okay YES kings I see you, okay this is giving me cuteness aggression, hi yes I’d like to adopt a cat and a dog please 9/10

Following Namsoo to the Bathhouse

Tags: completed, same author as, “My Purrfect Boss”, A+ comedy once again, JUNIOR, gay awakening, “fap myself to death” DEAD, facial expressions are ridic, my minds telling me no but my body, my bodyyyy’s telling me yaaaaa, ya boy is literally losing his mind over this, actual lightsabers lmao, FLUFF, permasmile, 6969, THINKS THEY’RE GOING TO EAT RAMEN, dense gay, own your skin wtf okay hannibal calm down, everyone is officially cray,  ah I also am barfy when drunk, denial really is something hm, classic BL miscommunication plot, when people pleasing too far, happy ending 🥺🥰, side story: our crazy gets his very own crazy (ashton Kutcher from spread vibes), public sex, sex sparkle 9/10

Alien in my Closet

Tags: ongoing (maybe completed but def ongoing on the site I use), not rapey at all?? You’d think it’s impossible in this medium ffs, anti pt vibes, cute art, fluff ‘n smut, red head!!, they were roomates!, sex toys, bsdm, D/s (brat)dynamic or maybe owner/pet, bondage, *tiffany hadish voice* this is noiceeee, con humiliation/degradtion, SANTA CLAUS, edging, marking, one lotus please (he’s clearly read the 4 agreements and karma sutra), con non con, exhibitionism, the wrist thing stays on people, Katoptronophilia,  roleplay, is it stalking when you bring your friends?, lotus: welcome home cheater, the chin on the head thing gives me cuteness aggression, the twins are my favs, when ur crush vanilla af 😭, haesung: experiment on me daddy, no dick until halfway through/fingering supremacy, bedroom sessions has me gagged, voyeurism, wait they haven’t kissed this whole time I forgot (audio: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryley/video/6976701880277748997?lang=en), sunbae is sus, YES FINALLY A FUCKING SWITCH COUPLE AKJSDHALKSJDHASKLJDHALS KJDALKSJD (update: sort of), there’s a missed opportunity for an anal probe joke, damn it okay maybe sunbae is chill, 3 musketeers, my heart*implodes*, *velociraptor noises*, 12/10 would re-read such fluff my heart 

On Doorstep

Tags: completed, age gap, reese has ptsd, jimmy going from 0 to 100, jimmy really got down on his knees at work, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) deepest part you say, real dicks, ride him like a rodeo, quickie/short story, porn with plot

Gorani Jeon

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, no alpha though, animal hybrid, art is beautiful like it's drawn on paper not a screen, 40 inch weave yours came in a pack, historical (non-modern), lord send me a sexy man pls, the memes after each chapter are golden, taking the phrase licking wounds literally, is that an eggplant or are you just happy to see me hehe, ahhh so inhibitors do exist here, vertical 69, here lays Bau fucked to death by Ran, WHY HE TOUCHING MY MAN, these chickens are dope, stomp on his dick, that’s what I call a happy meal, fucked right out the front door I’M DEAD, mpreg, i need a tiger+mountain god spin off (whoops dad/son my bad), slice of life, cute fluff 8/10

Room to room

Tags: completed, college setting, A+ dialogue, absurd size difference, unrequited love,  sexsomina, dubcon, angst, death by a thousand cuts emotionally, insecurity, body envy, pining, friends to lovers, they were roommates!, homophobia, sexual assault, PTSD, gays in denial, the tattoo 🥺 ow my heart, truly this is 90% smut, “going from unrequited love to fwbs is shittier than I expected”, dowan *bad blood by t swift* when he sees garam, ch 22garam reminds me of my ex and that’s not a compliment, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is vibes, triflers need not apply, spanking, 😭😭😭😭😭 my heart hurts, is anyone getting a bit of a puppy play vibe? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vni9ZWmDXis, handcuffs, lots of head we stan, dowan’s gotta a touch of a foot thing or maybe body worship thing, asdlfgkjs ;dlkfgjsd;flkgj;sdflkgj;sdlfgjs;d/gkdf SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, roleplay. They broke the bed no use of crying over spilled milk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), side stories delivering man in uniform and sex toys AND puppy, asdlkjaslfkasdjfl;askdfjasdf the shirt thing is so hot, watersports, I take it back this is 98% smut 9/10

Mistake Lover

Tags: completed, when ur bff is back on their BS, love triangle, coworkers, i swear all these ukes look the same to me at this point (which is very cute), GE!!!! (wangxian flashbacks), wait no smut?.... Paused

Yagi to ookami no hatsujou jijou

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, literally on my reading list because a comment said “nice cock 10/10”hahahaha, animal hybrids, scifi/aliens, me during chapter one: am I a furry? No. Am I? Relevant audio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noJNIqvDfoo, hotties when human GOD DAMN, bi king, okay I stan this girl changing gears take your opportunities honey!, does blondie have a tinder or how is this happening? (update: called it), feminization, dubcon/noncon, marking, heats, idk about 10/10 cock but not lightsabers, translation is ruff (get it?), a yankee hahaha, literal wound licking, googles chimera, *claps* yes king selfish call his ass out, tail holding caaaayoooot, not that isn’t usually copious amounts of cum but really this is a lot 8/10

Make Me Bark

Tags: completed, $250 a month rent?? *cries in Californian*, god damn it these grey haired 2D men are really hot fml, “next months rent is a looming concern but I hope it’ll get better” followed by apartment on fire is how I feel about reality, rare characters that smile way more than they frown, sex toys, kink, puppy play, owner/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby, college setting, harness, muzzle, leash, tail plug, shirt thing!!, soaked briefs, playing barbie IRL, omg meet cute at the adult store, intercrural sex, possessive/jealousy, ah fuck yes I saw this panel on IG but it didn’t have the source but now hehe, whipping, choking, spanking, *bookmarks*, simp city, childhood friends, side couple cute af, yeonsoo: sorry I’m an anti romantic, size queen, mens lingerie, domestic, mutual pining,  these bestie pairings are *chefs kiss*, skinny but muscular bodies/no ridiculous size differences, “does he have a big dick?” “probably” “well tell him to come” GAGGED AJKSDHALSKDJHA this dialogue pure comedy, exhibitionism, human auction, maid costume, men in heels, topping in a dress, girl at the bus stop HAHAHA, ffs this is so cute, side stories: it’s a small world afterall, dynamic role reversal, pink haired boy is guru, SCREAMING AKDJA:SLDKJA:LKDJA:LSDKJLAKDJA:LDJAL:SKDJASLKDJA:SLKDJLAKSDJLASDJ:LASJD:ALSKDJASL:DJ:ASLJDPUTARINGONIT!!!! 11/10 

Gurume no fukurami

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, food fetish, feeding fetish, age gap, throuple-eqsue? There’s 3 people involved, paused ch 1 pg 30

Under the Green Light

Tags: ongoing, thank you IG for rec’ing this, brunette supremacy, neurodivergent?, lmao @hag, this statue is everything I wonder if it���s based on a real piece?, we went from talking art to being pinned to the ground REAL quick, translations rough but not as rough as my mans here, draw me like one of your french girls vibe, sass master, these dicks are ridiculously huge which is saying something for this genre, i love a verse/switch, “first time he’s asked someone to stop so his self-esteem is hurt” HAHAHAHA, stealing bae’s shirt, facials galore, car sex/public sex, jin not into praise kink clearly, sort of slut shaming jealousy, marking

Walk on Water

Tags: completed, for being about porn it’s not that smutty (i take it back), “don’t even think about running away” got me like https://giphy.com/gifs/VABbCpX94WCfS, actual dicks (lightsabers later must be the cleaners not the OG), muscular bodies, blonde seme, brunette uke, k mcqueen is everything, honestly haven’t loved a couple this much since chanwoo x MD and I LOVE THEM, jealousy, orgasm denial, the angles/frames of the art in this are insane (11/10), emotional intimacy CUTENESS HASIHDLASKDHJLAKSJDH, i wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes, dirty talk A+, bestie you turned out to be Judas you judgy fuck how dare you touch my man, Ryan is 50 shades of fucked up bb needs therapy, Chang and yeowoons sexual tension is *chefs kiss*, I ship it/all my ships sailing, woof non con but expected tbh, YEAH BABY YEAH *Austin powers voice*, fml I don’t want this story to end, meeting the Hets ™ would make me nervous too, spiderman kith, mirror sex sjkadfhasldjkfh, 34+35, JOI but with a partner? Not D/s, promises are made to broken hehe, that feeling when you understand the title, omg the fan art is so cool!! 15/10 would re-read seriously I can’t explain how well the artist used angles/how she portrayed the scenes was fucking MASTERFUL

Woof Wolf

Tags: that's my best friend (saweetie), red heads, werewolf au, college setting, students, shoot a shot in your mouth while I'm riding, facials, marking

Sexual Awakening of an Ex Delinquent 

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, sexual coercion/non con/dub con, tiddies, bondage, nipple play, edging/orgasm denial, candy in ass wow, food kink, kink in general, rich seme working class uke, lightsabers,  big dick Jesus fuck, exhibitionism, public sex, men's lingerie, Blondie is a sweet baby angel, self hatred/homophobia, sexual narrating that has me like oof 😣 that's not how this works but okay, the sweet spots thing is a great line, man is a slave to the sweets, lmao at the meme at the end of ch 9 fucking facts, kidnapping plot, rapey guys all around this story, tattoo/back story reveal has me like *nods head yes*, my throats broken has me gagged, crazy amount of sfx noises that distract from the art (I really appreciate cleaners I realize), first times, rushed ending feels,  would rate 6/10 not terrible but probably won't read again.  

With Your Tail Yes

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, quickie/short story, on man brunette looks EXACTLY like a different character by another artist like for real duplicate, home boy pulled Elle Wood’s Bend n Snap and we are HERE FOR IT, lingerie/cross dressing, okay compilation of short stories, great artwork but wtf these are far too short (maybe uploaded wrong..?), *immediately makes deal with the devil because yum*, ah okay previews THEN stories, human animal hybrid situation, lightsabers, fucking imagine your crush delivery the sex toy you ordered online HAHA *dies*, buys toys because men ain’t shit is a VIBE, you know he’s always wearing matching sets because he’s 100% that bitch, dub con/non con, knotting (unexpected), exhibitionism, public sex, good ol’ fashion blackmail to get your lover to stay with you trope, sexual assault/attempted rape, victim blaming, shibari, leashes, D/brat dynamic sort of, copious amounts of cum, lube? What lube?, marathon sex, first time, 75 hours?? Immediately no meme, 7/10 mostly for art/concepts but not execution

Heat and Run

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, omegaverse, friends to enemies to lovers, multiple couples as main to sides then sides to mains, my heart dropped because I thought the first sex scene was incest but then realized I’m mixing up all the characters derp, dense gays, this is america (the shooting comment WOOF reality feels bad man), blondes have more fun, real dicks, dubcon/CNC dealers choice, mutual pining, idiots in love, big alpha energy BDE, there are moments I feel Hayoung on a spiritual level and not sure that’s a compliment hahaha, orgasm denial/edging, istg if he bonded without Hayoung permission *jenna marbles BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU BETTAH NOT*, also I was hoping the idol was him but realizing it’s probs his sis, *deep sigh*, BDIRL, wow racism, oh no oh no no no no no meme audio, listen everyone needs to get into therapy to break that generational trauma is all I’m saying (not excusing abuse at all, trauma isn’t a free pass), NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY A GAME WITHOUT KNOWING THE RULES :ALKSDHJALKSDJA:SLKDJTRUE, matthew singing bo burnham: I’m problematic *background singers ‘he’s a problem!’*, i ship it yolo, JAEHO STAN (no means no!), mpreg, god damn it I am so worried about him getting roofie and the party scene hasn’t even started ABO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOO ME, OH THANK JAEHO, dayummmm that clapback was real fuck him UP, me clapping: MARK HIM MARK HIM, GOD DAMN IT WITH THESE ONGOING FUCKING CLIFF HANGERS FML, marked via knotting? Okay that’s new, but also like normal marking I think, fucking til bottom pees trope

Heaven Officials Blessing

Animated series season 1 complete. Live action currently filming (same director as Untamed too UGH SO HAPPY)

Tags: ongoing, same author as my fav ever MDZS, just finished season 1 animated on netflix and can no longer avoid this because I LOVE THEM, all the memes on IG make sense now, Prince voice: Dearly Beloved (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) we are gathered here today to dive deeper into a fandom I will never escape, ART IS AMAZING (https://tenor.com/view/incredible-talented-lady-brilliant-gaga-gif-14857187), group chats are always chaotic tbh, wait a minute meme audio: bride = bottom? How tf did I not get that the first time round *sigh* always hoping for a verse couple, the asst. Boys I ship hard, the sass, fuck this is going to just be pure angst isn’t it *straps in, has fluffy manga queued*, even if no smut 11/10 gege porn, not subtle, god FUCK this ART IS SO FUCKING GOOD THE TALENT skjas;ldkfja;, 🥺, traumatic cliff moment *mdzs flashbacks*, HC smirk is my new favorite thing, no fucking but lots of touching, size difference, horror, gore, wuxia, great side characters, my ear feels tingly too lmao, SOMEONE BETTER GET THESE MF SNAKES ON THIS MF PLANE (cliff), umbrella moments got me uwu, gimme at least didi pleaseandthankyou, FUCK I LOVE THIS ARTIST she keeping us WELL fed with these extras DAYUM, wind/earth master ship please sail, CALL ME DADDY IM DEAD, HC has LWJ energy like you are not qualified to talk to me LOL, WAIT this totally counts as there was only one bed trope, also I’m already excited about omegaverse ff (send me recs please please please)

4 week lovers

Tags: ongoing because apparently I want to torture myself, mutual pining/”unrequited love”, college life, friends to lovers, blackmail ur crush into sex trope, public sex, I was going to tag possessive body language but possessive in a general sense apparently (starting strong yessss), sure jan @unrequited love dialogue, THEY WERE ROOMMATES *cackles*, sus haha, rough translation, pure comedy, shirt thing!, casual abuse :( (back story, traumatic childhood), I’m getting TharnType vibes (but not quite…), that note is precious, cry during/after sex, great angles, dialogue A+ 

Burlesque Night

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, stripper/body guard, coworkers, lust at first sight, magic mike vibes, fridays = getting fucked on stage O-O, well that was traumatizing af, took a bullet, real dicks, LDR, CUTE, I’m not in love with you… sure jan, OH WOW MASTER dlksaj;alsdkja;lsdkja;sld, gay awakening/first time, the art detail is *chefs kiss*, disappointed but not surprised :( :( :(, we stan a yes and lover, shirt thing, still not sure wtf the vertical anus thing is but full circle moment haha, you know what fuck it I’d re-read this 9/10

My one and only cat

Tags: ongoing, cat hybrids, god damn it I’m totally in furrydom ffs, ah well here we go, idol hot = loneliness wahhh /s, so hot he literally transforms other beings, omg a cat cafe CUTE, fuck that cat is cute *so fluffy*, stalker status, comedy, real dicks, I think the uncle would be supportive/jealous even I hope they talk about it I’m dying to know his thoughts, big tiddies, if this ain’t the cutest shit FLUFF/SMUT, copious amounts of cum, ate it with the panties on, CAKE, xmas, his milkshakes bring all the boy(cats) to the yard, trifling bitch

Imitation Mate

Tags: completed, omegaverse, alpha x alpha. Class rivals YAS, childhood frans, enemies to lovers omg this is all the shit I want, manipulation 1000 but yolo I ship it

Mr. 100% Perfect

Tags: ongoing, so relatable, OCD?, hoarder, when I read the title I thought mental illness and I was right, masks ugh RELATABLE, getting back together w ex, woof sibling drama/manipulation, suicide attempt, omg their communication regarding the psycho is REFRESHING, OMG JEJU ISLAND I see it in every fucking kdrama ever but this is the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in a manga *hm* interesting, furry furry everywhere, eye contact, finished reading season 1 pause for an omergaverse cause, okay I’m back and season 2 starting STRONG #1 men are gross #2 mans just went right to a blowie while mf was trying to pee lmao i can NOT the germs barf, fuckboi extraordinaire stressing over a textback is *great*, that istg face is perfect, HYUNGGGG, hand on his heart OW MY HEART, vibe check LOL, here for this plot dev, END OF SEASON2 NOOOOOOOimnotready. Head bonks CUTE

The origin of species

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, sex tape, blackmail, i already don’t like this teacher, size difference, ‘JUST DIE’ hahahahahaha, I’m in love with noona, wait Ahjussi means uncle/mister? Dangerous convenience store has a new meaning to me now, DECEASED @they won’t, copious amounts of cum, alcohol to have intimacy *sighs in early 20s*, also WTF THEY ARE FUCKING AND THERE’S NO PHERMONE STUFF! What’s the point of being ABO without smell *swaggy p meme???*, wait okay ch 11 it begins, stockholm syndrome but since childhood I’m fairly certain *looking at you teacher I don’t trust these mfs*, dubcon obviously, also the can’t be knotted thing has me *cardi b meme that’s weird that’s sus* obvs poor bb about to get preg af, five word horror story: I won’t hurt you again *why tf you lyinggggg why u always lyinggg meme*, white collar crime, what’s the point of a contract when there’s no actual choice

How to Chase an Alpha

Tags: ongoing, lowkey been avoiding this one not because I think it’ll be bad I just..idk the brain is a weird thing, page 2 and I love mains attitude fucking gagged sass me bb, starting with rough translation but it be that way sometimes, GROUNDS HIMSELF BY TOUCHING HIS BLACK CARD I CANTTT, pheromone city fuck it UP, MC is a MOOD, mutual pining, when u and bae both hire PI’s to get info on each other, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, shirt thing, fucking chuffed about the rival fucking bring it, funny art, cheated on ugh mah heart I saw it coming and it still hurt, pure comedy this airport scene is so funny to me wtf, LDR, good ol murica fuckboi, LOVE HIM RIDE FOR UR MAN/MORALS, liams a little rapey rapist hm? No one’s ever said no… well being flooded with pheromones isn’t consent my dude, istg liam = I love it when they struggle, obvs jealousy/possessive tag but such is ABO, cat suit, BUNNY suit, sexy costumes, god damn it I love them that proposal/mpreg so cute, imprinting AW, ugh baes fam is so cute I needed that bc I wanna strangle wooyoungs dad, THE SECETARY is my fucking fav never stops being A+, SEC+LIAM?? Here for it *i ship it*, FUCK SO CUTE 12/10 re-read, fluff n smut, excited for how to chase an omegaside story hyung needs love!, JINI is mood, sales king I’m dying, that collar is ~hot~ btw

Egoism

Tags: completed (because jesus I can’t with ongoing, theheartbreakTM), UPDATE FML THE HEART BREAK IS REAL also no smut, omegaverse, hey stepbro, starts with rape, possessive/jealousy (isn’t all ABO?), age difference (6years, alpha is younger *can I get hyung plz lord*), HYUNG, woof this dad SUCKS, child abuse, rape culture *sigh*, I wanna get jacked like rick and summer and beat tf out of the dad, me n my cat, TELL EM HONEY I love this MC, traitor indeed, beta x omega btw, fated pair, coercive sex, didi going to be his own demise, BREAKUP/TIME SKIP NO this is BL hell, the rona is mentioned in this, ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR YOUR STORY WAHHHHHHHHHH also YES MY SHIP IS GOING TO SAIL I CAN FEEL IT, okay honestly frustrating a bit but also liked it yah 7-8/10, won’t re-read unless I’m looking for hurt though cause the comfort is BRIEF

Yarichin bitch bu

Tags: ongoing, reading because I watched this anime after seeing it mentioned in the comment section of -im-being-harassed-by-the-sexiest-man-of-the-year, anime was 2 eps a fucking wild the way this is uploaded SUCKS, no reality porn what plot rape-y ridiculous and now I need to read the source apparently haha, I need to know much more about yuri and blue hair guy ASAP (they have the spin off*adds to list*), high school setting, smut, studentsxstudents/teachers, photography club my ass, sex toys, kinky, crossdressing, gay awakening, unrequited love, jealousy, fake relationship, two faced people, OCD, COMEDY, rich people problems, hoarder, inferiority complex, one bed, toono is a dumbass in this love triangle or denial might be a better word, they are cousins my dude stop shipping it (I say to both toono and myself LOL), I wanna see Yuri’s face laksdjf;aldskf, vibrator #18 line is fucking iconic, yaguchi is about to get real interesting (BPD?), lies/manipulation, oh toono you sweet summer child, YURI i can’t wit chu, wait did he just punch the student because he won’t kiss him or???, dubcon/noncon obvs, finally my verse couple but they’re not a couple (yuri/tamu), they all care about each other is a weird way awwww, love confessions to pet vibrator scene are ICONIC MY DUDES I CAN NOTTT, lowkey living for Yuri’s drooling at this point, Jimi gives me such bad second hand embarrassment, Yuri the switch verse bb I’ve been looking for need more!, internalized homophobia, blackmail, MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR YAS KING, the heartbreak of ongoing/hasn’t been updated in years

Yarichin bitch bu dj wa

Tags: not completed I think, years old though, see above you know what it is, so cute omg, FIRST KISS AW, degradation kink?, MY VERSE COUPLE I’ve finally found you, biting, choking, rough sex, sex toys, they had fun together for another two hours DECEASED

Fucked by my Best Friend

Tags: ongoing, friends to lovers, body swap, Porn what plot, cannon threesomes in past maybe??(MFF for sure but MMF??), beach life, revenge, he became a HOT woman so honestly get over it, sloppy seconds, first off you’re both sluts second lmao this is going to be wild hm?, fellas is it gay if you kiss the homies, classic did you cum guy jfc, that’s how you get preg dumbass, ah the joys of being a woman /s assault in der clrub, *DEEP SIGH* @ you almost being raped turns me on, YES TURNING BACK DYING, gender has nothing to do with this LOL but true. Also yes cannon threesomes/orgies, googles frotting, mans like narrating playtime, intecurial sex public sex, lingerie, this is the closest thing to straight manga I’ve read hahaha, THE SCIENCE OMG FUCKING RIDIC :you need a mass amount of semen within you SURE JAN, possessive. Objectification, she trying to fuck without Shion LMAO, 34+35, do you think he’s on r/nofap, dry orgasm honestly impressed with mans rn ngl, spit as lube, anal fingering, just helping the homies find their prostate, bottom shaming (disappointed but not surprised), bis/gays in denial smh, question if he has a wet dream will he turn into a woman?, shirt thing, lol at female orgasm =anal in switcharoos mind, paging doc perv, shion is enjoying dressing up hm? Same dude, biggest reality gap is believing shion got admitted to a college HAHA, bad anatomy all over the place dude, rui is a dedicated exhibitionist, HE SO TIGHT BECAUSE THERES NO LUBE team no lube over here apparently not even a courtesy spit, yandere territory sort of?, Mayu with the dick wet comment is *chefs kiss*, THE HEARTBREAK OF ONGOING WAHHH I can’t believe I read all this but I can? 8/10 problematic possessive porn

[sitp-recs]

(Perfect artwork for Modern Love, by @cambiodipolvere)

Today is the day of one of my favorite people! And I totally resent @tackytigerfic and Starry for almost sharing the same birthday, god the STRESS 😂 Tacky is my first and closest fandom friend. We clicked together so fast and easy that sometimes it feels like I’ve known her all my life, like we’re two dog moms living in the same neighborhood who happen to read fic in their free time. Despite our conflicting time zones and crazy schedules we manage to chat every other day, tagging and sending each other all kinds of stuff, coming together to cry scream about a brilliant fic we’ve just read or shaking our heads in embarrassment at every other unnecessary bullshit post. Tacky’s bright and wise energy uplifts my spirit even on my moody days, and makes me grateful for her friendship and for this fandom life. Okay so this got long and I had to put the rest under the cut:

It’s such a lovely and precious thing, to have someone with whom you can share every single thought that crosses your mind, your scariest, most embarrassing, petty or disturbing idea, without fear of being shamed or judged by it. I trust Tacky with all my heart to hear me out, share a joke or a piece of advice, even on the (rare) occasions when we don’t get the same perspective - that doesn’t happen often when it comes to Drarry, as we are taste twins!

Tacky my darling, you’re such a good person, and such an incredible friend. Thank you for introducing me to this lovely community, for being my safe haven and your unique self, with so many qualities I admire and feel inspired by: kind, witty, earnest, wise, and so very human. I love your humour and empathy, and your chill yet no-nonsense personality; I love your talent and how articulated you are; I love your passion for Drarry, and how you let this emotion inform the way you navigate the fandom and create for it. And god, but you’ve been creating some of the most beautiful content I’ve seen in these recent years! I’m permanently in awe of your ability to write Drarry in any shape, format or length, transforming even the most ordinary moment into an extraordinary and meaningful piece of character or relationship development. You know how you mentioned yesterday that some authors change the way you feel about a ship in a deep, definitive way? Well, you are that author for me. Your works made me fall in love with M-rated contemplative romance, and also allowed me to fall in love with Harry in a way I never thought it was possible before.

Some people - myself included - got to know you through the fun and intriguing A Lick and a Promise, others through the atmospheric and sensitive Modern Love, others through your contemplative and heartbreaking short form. Each story has its merits and purpose, and all of them share a Tacky trademark: the heartkick factor! Your talent has no limits and goes across different genres and tropes, that you explore with a bold twist full of personality and heart. And even more impressive is your consistency at always raising the bar - every new fic of yours becomes an instant fave and makes me think “wow I thought Tacky couldn’t get better yet here we are”. Seeing how your writing evolves as you find your narrative voice is a beautiful and humbling experience, I feel so lucky!

I’m really grateful for being active in the fandom at this moment in time, because that allows me to read and engage with your brilliant work, and to have you as a dear friend. I can’t wait to see what comes out of your beautiful brain next. It was an impossible job choosing a single fic to rec today, so I decided to do a belated Tacky reclist! Naturally these are my personal and biased must-reads, and I urge everyone to go check these beauties right now. Feel free to include your own favorites too, and don’t forget to leave them some appreciation.

Happy happy birthday my darling Tacky! This fandom life wouldn’t be the same without you. I hope you have the amazing day you deserve!

Between the Power Lines (2020, M, 3.2k)

The road trip fic you didn’t know you needed. I got utterly immersed in the heartbreaking quietness of this, feeling like a witness to an ordinary yet poignant love story. Such tender intimacy, such character development, such lovely American aesthetics with barely any dialogue. This is, IMO, the fic that reveals Tacky’s triumph in storytelling.

Even the Night (2020, M, 3.4k)

This fic has a surreal atmosphere, those Midsummer vibes unbelievably sexy and intoxicating linked to the sensorial experience of fumbling together in the night. Masterclass in tension building, a silky and languid dream-like affair.

Aim for my Heart (2021, M, 3.4k) - Harry/Draco/Ron

One of the most sensitive and stunning portraits I’ve ever seen of a poly/triad relationship, this fic packs so much character and longing! It’s a privilege to watch Ron and Draco’s tentative dynamics through the smitten eyes of the one person that loves them like no one else: Harry.

The Long Fall (2021, M, 3.6k)

I can’t even write about this tender domesticity without getting a lump in my throat. Best opening scene I’ve read in years, and a refreshing way to approach both mpreg and parenthood, painfully honest and lovely. This became an immediate comfort read for me, and it’s probably one of the fics I revisit the most.

Mortal Frame (2021, M, 6.6k)

This thrilling, fast-paced spy story left me breathless since the first paragraph, gods what an immersive ride! I’m so here for Drarry on the run, sharp and urgent with danger but mellowed by the silent trust and tender intimacy only Tacky can master. Major bonus points for the brilliant take on the Horcrux hunt plot line!

Last Offices (2020, M, 6.7k)

Oh, this fic 💔 I tend to avoid MCD but there’s something so deeply fascinating about body washing rituals that I caught myself mesmerized by this. I just couldn’t put it down, so emotionally compromised I felt. There’s a sort of strange comfort in the heartbreak of doing one last act of service out of devotion to someone. This fic inspired so many difficult but lovely feelings in me, and one of them was hope. Only Tacky could possibly achieve that!

Our Little Life (2020, M, 7.2k)

Inventive and singular, this story hit me straight on the solar plexus and left me speechless as I saw the (clever, magical and bittersweet) plot unravel. Such a fabulous take on alternate universes and all the angst potential behind it. Come and bask in the yearning melancholia of a short yet intricate and perfectly executed plot.

And One to Play (2019, E, 21k)

What a fun and delightful fic, I can’t have enough of pining Harry losing all sense of propriety when faced with a hot, competent and pragmatic Draco. This has fab dynamics, unhinged protectiveness, even more unhinged attraction between two idiots who can’t keep their hands off each other. A must-read for any Auror partners fan!

A Lick and a Promise (2019, E, 55k)

Hot, BAMF Professors carefully balancing a fuck buddies situation while solving a Hogwarts mystery, do we need anything else? I certainly do not. This fic is so fun and intriguing and immersive, with amazing supportive cast and a delicious get together feat secret shagging and oblivious pining. Love it!

Modern Love (2020, E, 61k)

My favorite read of 2020, this fic is a love letter to Drarry and will always hold a piece of my soul. Sensitive, wistful, tenderly aching and so very romantic, this is a Muggle Draco triumph with a superb Harry, exquisite slow burn and a side of suds comfort. I promise it will be impossible to listen to Bowie again without thinking of this love story.

Bonus: five stunning drabbles!

Something in the Way (2021, T, 119 words)

“Up,” he said, and Draco, sick with love, raised his arms above his head and allowed Potter to slide the jumper on him, big hands stroking it flat over Draco’s stomach until they both shivered.

Stir-Up Sunday (2020, M, 300 words)

“I want you always,” he said, tugging again on the fine curling length of it. “Is it okay to say that?”

Whalebone Arch (2021, M, 722 words)

“Are you still not talking to me?” Draco steered Harry towards the crisps. “Do I have to suck you off in the loo to cheer you up?”

Semiplume (2021, T, 923 words)

“Did you know,” Harry murmured, and he put his arms around Draco, fearless. “I’d be your mate. If you needed a mate, I mean.”

Relic Radiation (2021, M, 927 words)

“You’ll kill me,” Harry said, and Draco turned his face towards the darkened sky, lunar pale, his profile some stupid unearthly thing—a flaring blazar, a supernova—in the light from the kitchen window.

[amaya-chwan]

Takeaways from Therapy Game: Restart Chapter 13 (and some Therapy Game news!)

Hello everyone! I hope you've all been well these past two months and taken care of yourselves! 💜

Before we get into our takeaways for chapter 13, I saw some news from Hinohara-sensei's Official Twitter that I would like to share with you all!

First piece of news: Therapy Game re:start volume 2 will be released on 1st June 2021! 🎉

Second: in conjunction with the release of the second volume, Sensei will have an in-person fan signing event at the Ikebukuro Animate store (animate honten) AND will have a special limited time shop featuring goods of our favourite dorks! This shop will be opened 6th-20th June! 🎉🎉

Image from Sensei's Official Twitter post! ❤️💛💜❤️

Now, what does the second piece of news mean for us not living in Japan (such as myself)? 🤔 Well, one of two things could happen:

We could see the merch on Sensei's Twitter and wish we could buy them one day 😭 OR

Animate could "potentially" release this merch for online order!

I'm not trying to get anyone's hopes up, but when I saw Animate open a special Yuri!!! on Ice shop last year, I didn't think they'd release merch online. But they did, for a very, very short period of time only! So my only hope is that they do that again for Hinohara-sensei! 🤞

Here's the special website from Sensei's twitter that has information about the fan signing event and limited time shop! It seems they'll show what merch will be available in the shop when it's all been finalised.

If I spot anymore updates about that, I'll try to post about it here! ❤️💛

Alright, down to business as usual! Let's get into our takeaways~ Thank you for being so patient with me! Life has been a little busy this year with juggling work and social life! So I really appreciate your patience! 💜

Here are our takeaways for this chapter:

Loving the brotherly love we see in this chapter! Warms my heart to no end! ❤️💛💜❤️

Minato, bb, you are growing up a lot! I am proud of you! 😭

Did I ever tell you guys that I really love Mito-san too? No? Well now I have ahah! He is just amazing and I love the energy he has--cool and lovable, yet smooth and sexy! Loving the domestic vibes I'm getting! 😍😍

AHHH SHIZUMA! Your smile is too pure, it's blinding! 🥰

Just couple goals from Shizuma and Minato, AND from Mito-san and Shouhei! (Why I don't call Mito-san Itsuki, I'll never know ahah I blame Shouhei! XDDD) ❤️💛💜❤️

The younger sibling moments in this chapter are so relatable! (I am that younger sibling ahahah!) 🤣🤣🤣

I honestly don't know what to think of Onodera at this point in time? 🤔

The (supposed) date time with Shizuma and Minato went from adorable anticipation to steamy relations in a split second, but not NSFW! 😲

And that’s it for this chapter’s takeaways! For a more detailed breakdown/summary of this chapter, please continue after the cut! Since it's been a while since the last chapter, I threw in some extra surprises in this summary, so keep reading if you want to see~  😉✨

Our chapter begins with an image of Mito-san and Minato, with Minato's cheek leaning on Mito-san's shoulder. The dialogue reads: When it seems like my overflowing emotions are about to burst from the seams, I really do yearn for this back (i.e. something familiar he can always lean on).

We see Minato spaced out on a sofa, being called by Itsuki. Itsuki tells Minato to go home if he's just going to sit there like that since he is very busy cleaning his entire home for when Shouhei moves in with him! Minato gets up, understands the situation, and helps Itsuki out.

Itsuki, knowing something has happened between Shizuma and Minato, asks Minato directly since he only goes to Itsuki's place when he is troubled, and he must be troubled by something related to Shizuma. He also says that Shizuma is worried about Minato, especially since Itsuki lied to him about Minato's whereabouts.

Minato brushes it off, saying that it's nothing big. He talks about the time when they had to drop by Shizuma's workplace, he saw a woman/Onodera (not knowing she's Shizuma's director) and that Shizuma made an very adorable face while talking to her.

Minato stops talking, so Itsuki asks if that is all to the story. Minato then says yes, so Itsuki deduces that Minato is ignoring Shizuma because he happily spoke with that woman (Onodera) and confirms with Minato, who then agrees. Itsuki blames himself for raising Minato like this and apologises to Shizuma in his inner monologue.

Minato defensively says he's told Shizuma not to do that, yet he still does. Minato's monologue says that this Shizuma--who is talking to someone unknown to him, about a story he doesn't know, in a place he doesn't know about--seems like a distant person to him.

He realises that even though he and Shizuma are together, he cannot monopolise him, and that it annoys him. So rather than tell him not to speak with others, he has chosen not to see Shizuma until he calms down. Suddenly, a handyman appears at Itsuki's home to beginning furniture installations.

Image translated from Sensei’s Twitter post here!

Minato is surprised Itsuki replaced a lot of his furniture, to which Itsuki replies: "I wonder if Shouhei-kun prefers the new ones too."  Minato says Shouhei would freeze from this "surprise" and imagines Shouhei asking how much it cost!

Itsuki, still in his happy bubble, says he wants Shouhei to also select some household furniture and accessories, so they'll go shopping together next time. Minato is happy for them since their house-moving plans are going well. Itsuki goes back to their previous topic of conversation, and says how Shizuma and Shouhei both are very charming. He recounts how Shouhei would handle different kinds of customers, from the difficult to the sad ones, how his charms and personable skills would change their mood completely, and calls him a genius who has a knack for calming customers.

Minato asks if Itsuki dislikes that, since he himself doesn't know what to think of Shizuma showing his charm and friendliness to others and that some misunderstandings would arise eventually.

Itsuki then reminds Minato that out of all the people in the world, Shizuma asked Minato to live with him, and that thought alone must've made him happy.

Minato does agree, yet it doesn't change the fact that he is unaware of what Shizuma does outside of the home. Itsuki is then suspicious that Minato and Shizuma are going to move in together too.

Minato panics, and says he just meant that from Itsuki's point of view since he's moving in with Shouhei. Just as Minato thinks he's almost let the secret slip, he gets a phone call. Itsuki tells Minato that it's Shizuma, but Minato refuses to pick it up as he is "still cleaning"--the real reason is that Minato told Shizuma he wouldn't forgive him if they speak before Minato gave the OK to talk again.

Itsuki, being the older brother, answers the phone and slides it on the desk near Minato and leaves him to talk with Shizuma, even putting it on loud speaker since Minato is preoccupied.

Shizuma is frantically trying to get a response from Minato, to which Minato responds with a simple: “What... I can hear you.” The first thing Shizuma asks is where Minato is at this present moment, fearing that he might be at a suspicious place. Minato says he isn't and is in fact in the neighbourhood doing some errands. Shizuma breathes a sigh of relief and is thankful his call finally reached Minato as no one he asked knew where Minato was, and because Shizuma was overthinking things, he was just about to go searching for him.

Minato tells him that he doesn't need to go to such lengths and make such a big fuss about it, but Shizuma tells him that he will always make a big fuss about it since it's about Minato. To avoid such a thing happening again, Shizuma tells Minato not to make him worry. Then these pages happen:

Just as their talk of their brothers' moving into together comes to an end, Shizuma gets all excited to go apartment hunting with Minato again and reminds him, not knowing that Itsuki is also listening. The Mito brothers freeze in surprise, with Itsuki soon confirming his earlier suspicions with Minato--his eyes and aura going all kira kira (i.e. sparkly). Minato tries to reprimand him for bringing it up now, but Shizuma continues on, saying he's found a few places he likes and they should start inspecting prospective apartments soon before they're overwhelmed by it all.

Minato hastily agrees to it all, and Shizuma smirks on the other end of the phone, asking Minato when they can see each other. Shizuma suggests Friday if he is too busy at the present moment, and just as Minato gives work as an excuse not to see him on that day, Itsuki jumps in and says he can go see Shizuma.

Shizuma, very surprised by the fact Itsuki overheard their conversation, says his name aloud, and Shouhei overhears him. Itsuki thanks Shizuma for letting him overhear such an adorable story featuring Shouhei. And then this happens:

Still very flustered, Minato quickly agrees to seeing Shizuma on Friday and promptly ends the call before Shizuma can even finish saying "Wait!" Itsuki happily approaches Minato and asks to hear more of their apartment hunting adventures, to which Minato replies that nothing is final yet!

We change locations, and Minato is now on the balcony scrubbing the floor. Minato recalls how he wanted to tell Itsuki about his and Shizuma's plans to move in together further down the track. He then is overjoyed at the thought that Shizuma missed him and wanted to see him. While he awaits Friday, he remembers and is embarrassed by how furious he was the last time they saw each other. He plans to start a skin routine to care for his face and to get his hair done.

Just as he thinks this, he is called out by none other than Shizuma, who is on the ground floor outside. Minato, visibly surprised, asks Shizuma why he’s here. Shizuma tells him that the shop is close to his home. Minato knows this, but is more curious as to why he is here since they just agreed to see each other on Friday. Shizuma is taken aback for a moment, before saying: 

While Minato hides away from Shizuma and quickly tries to style his hair, Itsuki overhears a ruckus on his balcony and goes to investigate. We then find out that Shouhei accompanied Shizuma. Shouhei calls out to Itsuki and asks why he didn't tell him that he was cleaning the whole house. The Ikushima brothers offer to help out with the cleaning, with Shizuma joining in because his younger brother will be under Itsuki's care soon. Itsuki happily agrees, saying that he wouldn't be able to fully clean the place if only Minato were there.

As the Ikushima brothers are getting ready to go upstairs to help, Itsuki says the brothers are indeed good, endearing people, and their charming personalities would probably make Minato and Itsuki anxious at times. Minato agrees. Itsuki then continues to say that while Shizuma and Shouhei charm those around them, the only ones who can make them smile the way they do are themselves. Minato is concerned about a possible intruder in their relationship, and Itsuki provides some brotherly advice.

We change scenes to Onodera, smoking on the clinic rooftop and thinking about Shizuma's smiling face.

We change scenes again to Minato, waiting for Shizuma at a predetermined location since it is now Friday. Happy with his new hairdo, Minato reminds himself not to get angry, to sort out the current situation they're in (i.e. Minato's one-sided anger at Shizuma), and to be calm and collected.

Shizuma then gets out of a car across the road, and looks around for Minato. Minato, who can see him very clearly, smiles happily and decides to let Shizuma look for him a little longer. A few more moments pass by, and Shizuma spots Minato and then waves happily to him. However, there is a slight problem.

Minato sees “the woman from last time” (Onodera) driving the car who then passes Shizuma his phone, with him smiling awkwardly at her. He recalls Itsuki's brotherly advice. Minato had actually asked Itsuki a follow-up question: "You say ‘just don't lose,’ but what should I actually do?" Itsuki tells him that it's something he has to figure out for himself.

Shizuma runs to Minato, apologising for making Minato wait. He explains that he was running late due to various issues, and he seemed to have dropped his phone in the car of the person who dropped him off. Before he could even tell Minato that it's his director who dropped him off, Minato says he doesn't need to say anything else and to just go out with him.

We see that Shizuma and Minato are now at a hotel, with Minato quickly pushing Shizuma onto the bed. Shizuma is annoyed at himself for letting Minato see such a scene that would cause a misunderstanding. Before heading over to the bed, Minato closes the door, turns to face Shizuma, and grins. He crawls onto the bed and immediately kisses Shizuma. He calls out Shizuma's name before asking him:

He softly pleads with Shizuma, asking for a quick response. Shizuma wonders if Minato's jealously is making him want to be held right now. He thinks Minato is really, really adorable, but also realises this isn't the right time to be thinking this. So Shizuma does tell Minato he loves him, that it's obvious he loves him very much. He apologises for causing him to worry and that he never once intended to do so. Minato cuts him off, saying that he understands and that it's okay.

Despite saying so, Shizuma notices the atmosphere is a little different than usual. Minato then tells Shizuma that he's been thinking of a way to ensure he doesn't lose Shizuma to anyone or lets anyone take him. The final page shows us this:

Again, THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR! 💜 📢  As always, please support Hinohara-sensei by purchasing her books and CDs! 📢

And that’s it for this chapter! 😲 Another cliffhanger here, and ngl that was a little (SFW-ish) steamy? I honestly do not know what to expect in the next chapter!! Dominant Minato?????  But I hope you enjoyed the few extra panels in this summary! 💜 My laptop struggled to keep up, so I will go back to only showing a handful of panels in future summaries. Please also refrain from resharing these translations and images outside of this post! Thank you for understanding! ❤️💛

The next chapter will be in next month's Dear+, so the wait isn't too much longer! So I shall see you all next month for our next set of takeaways to find out what happens next!

As always, stay safe during these turbulent times and look out for each other and for your loved ones! 💜❤️💛

[ladyartemesia]

Fic recs for taehyung? I love your stuff btw I’ve read them all uwu

As a beacon of extra-ness in an already extra world, I am entirely incapable of just recommending fics like a normal blog. No. I’ve got to wax on like a bloomin connoisseur. I have compiled some (but not all) of my favorite works in several different categories and sorted them accordingly. This crazy list is so long I had to add a “keep reading”... but I simply couldn’t bear to leave any of these off the list. They are all so good!

Fics have been divided into 8 categories. Some are under the cut. 

 ▨ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and FRIENDS TO LOVERS ▨  ▨ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ▨ ▨ FANTASY ▨ ▨ ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING ▨ ▨ HYBRID and ABO (alpha/omega) ▨ ▨ MULTIPLE PARTNERS ▨ ▨ NEIGHBORS AND ROOMMATES ▨ ▨ TABOO THEMES and DARK FIC (Sex Work/Power Imbalance/Very Unsafe Sex) ▨ ▨

▨ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and FRIENDS TO LOVERS ▨

Insomnia by @hobiwonder

This is one of those fics I read and literally could not stop thinking about. It is wildly hot and honestly hilarious. Poor reader cannot sleep and the beautiful bro she’s tutoring offers a rather unconventional solution.

(Ego) Hoe Chronicles: KTH by @suga-kookiemonster

Listen. If you find a niche fan blog devoted entirely to Ego Tae... I’m not gonna say it’s mine. But it’s probably mine. I once told suga-kookiemonster that I would literally read a story about Ego Tae going grocery shopping on a Wednesday night and I stand by that. In this lurid romp, the reader falls into the clutches of everyone’s favorite bohemian sex lord and he rails her into another dimension.

Falling, Falling, Gone by @johobi

Pining (mutual or otherwise) is not really my thing, but I would straight up read Jo’s laundry list if she posted it. As usual I was blown away by how everything she does seems somehow better than any other version of it. This reader is really unique as well, and her relationship with the wildly popular soccer star Tae comes to a sexy and hilarious head at a sort of bachelor auction. With sharp dialogue, delightful subtext, and fantastic side characters, you really shouldn’t miss it. It’s pretty much perfect.

A Friendly Favor by @baeseoul

This is the classic “teach me some sex for another woman” trope and it is done so well. Sweet best friend Tae is looking to benefit from your experience, but his is not the only world about to be thouroughly rocked.

Officer Kim and the Criminal Crush by @ddaengyoonmin

This is one of the best twists on childhood friends to lovers I have ever seen. Tae grows up to become a cop and reader grows up to be a societal menace. I won’t spoil it, but it’s the perfect blend of nostalgia, tenderness, and smut. This fic technically doesn’t have a name so I had to give it one to link it. It’s part of an AMAZING series Zoe did that I also highly recommend.

Out of the Blue by @jimlingss

This is one of those stories that blooms throughout the narrative until you are left with this gorgeous flower at the end. I loved the journey of these two characters. It was real and it perfectly captures the experience of finding your soulmate in the person you least expect.

Sin Pijama by @brilliantlybasicb

This fic is a switch culture fic. It is wild wicked hot and this Tae is unreal. I love the way he lets the reader think she is in control just long enough. It is a wild romp with an adorable sequel and honestly you should read it.

Girls Like You by @jjiminah

I was in jjiminah’s asks IMMEDIATELY about this fic because I had FEELINGS. The reader begins wordlessly teasing and tempting Tae on their morning bus ride every day until he is literally losing his mind. Everything that follows is fire. Jjiminah has hinted she will wrote more for these two and I NEED IT.

Sighs and Sonnets by @btsaudge

This fic is beautiful. Like it’s basically art. This is a bad boy who is bad for you. But he has the soul of a poet and the stroke game of a renaissance master. Bittersweet and seductive, this fic is a full experience.

The Text by @taetaesbaebaepsae

Tae is your friend with benefits but it looks like feeling may have been caught by one or more parties. When you attempt to soothe your aching heart with another pretty boy, Tae decides to stake his claim. This was very sexy. The whole fic was sexy.

▨ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ▨

Monster by @neonlights92

Monster and all of its companion series about each of the boys is one of those fics that I reread constantly and also just think about constantly. This is one of the best mafia AUs out there and it’s characters are vivid and unforgettable. Tae’s stubborn resistance to his lovely new wife in contrast with her quiet, clever strength really brings this story to life. A word of warning. The masterlist links are a bit messed up. To read part two you must click on part three. And to read part three must click on part four. The link to part four is at the bottom of part three (or you can just search it on her site. It is definitely all there though).

Dichotomy by @kpopfanfictrash

There is a reason the incomparable Shanna is on this list three times. She is truly incomparable. This is childhood friends-to enemies-to spouses and it is wonderful. I adore this Tae. He is sharp and vulnerable and occasionally heavy handed, but truly a gem. This fic also features one of the best angry sex scenes I’ve ever run my eyeballs across.

▨ FANTASY ▨

Chism by @kpopfanfictrash

The world-building in this story is genuinely awe inspiring. You could write series upon series within this vivid universe. The god of Winter is missing and Summer’s heat burns unchecked for many years. The reader is a warrior with a unique ability tasked with guarding a very interesting prisoner. This story is so good. I mean it is really bloomin incredible. It’s hard to say what I liked best about it, because it was stellar across the board.

Obsidian by @kpopfanfictrash

In the pantheon of delicious Tae incarnations, Obsidian Taehyung is essentially unrivaled as a grey witch who moonlights as a sexy rock star. His extremely erotic clash with a white witch detective plays out as the two of them track down a sinister killer (with the help of some truly memorable side characters).

Out of this World by @ddaengyoonmin

This one is really unique. Tae is a merman scientist on the water planet of Neptune and when the reader and her misguided crew crash into his sea, he takes it upon himself to improve inter-species relations. This fic features excellent world building alongside several twists and surprises. Clever scientist Tae is downright irresistible.

▨ ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING ▨

Picking Flowers by @jamaisjoons

So this story is a journey - truly a beautiful one and it’s a gorgeous addition to the hanahaki genre. There is real pain and I cried real tears, but gosh it was so sexy and so worth it. I was surprised by how truly immersed I ended up in this piece. I lost track of everything else. The end is insanely satisfying, but the journey is really what makes this fic unmissable.

Until Yesterday by @jimlingss

This fic destroyed me slowly then slowly put me together again piece by piece. When I say I went through it - I WENT THROUGH IT. The story is loosely based on the movie “The Vow” and it is just fantastic. Beautiful and tender till the last word.

The Foolish Muse by @bibbykins

This is the story of someone who is deeply in love, but knows they deserve better. It is a sexy and evocative work with allusions to mythology that fit seamlessly into the narrative. I think my favorite part is Tae discovering how much the reader meant to him and what choices ultimately lead them to a really delicious conclusion.

Back to You by @ladyartemesia

The last time I did a fic rec list, it got like 700 notes. Ya girl is not makin the same mistake again. I spent hours on this list. My work is comin along for the ride. Kim Taehyung is the love of your life, until one day he disappears without a trace.

Vacancy by @ppersonna

This one is the only idol AU on the list and I normally don’t read those, but Lindy’s work is too good to miss in any setting. I am thrilled I took a look because what I found was a glimpse into a beautiful relationship that weathers and eventually overcomes the challenges of loving in the limelight. There is a LOT of emotional depth and symbolism which really elevates everything about this lovely story. The reader’s internal struggles in the face of her lover’s fame are extremely well done.

▨ HYBRID and ABO ▨ (alpha/omega)

Eye of the Tiger by @opaljm

I am beyond hype about this story which is (very) loosely inspired by Zootopia and features a cocky tiger Taehyung and a fiesty prey hybrid he needs to fake date in order to keep panther Jimin from murdering him. (Tiger Tae got a tad too frisky around Jimin’s mate and now things are dangerously awkward.) This story is already so freakin good. I cannot wait for the rest.

Silver and Blue by @taetaewonderland

What happens when you get on the wrong side of the right werewolf? Very sexy - very crazy times. Chronologically this is the first of the Silver and Blue series which follows barely civilized were-Tae through his courtship and eventually his relationship with the spunky reader. Holla to all my impreg kink homies. This is the fic for you.

Heat Run by @ladyartemesia

As I said before, the last time I did a fic rec list, it got like 700 notes. Ya girl is not makin the same mistake twice. I spent hours on this list. My work is comin along for the ride. Alpha lawyer V is a man of many secrets, but his well ordered reality spirals wildly out of control when he crosses paths with a fiery omega set on saving the world from his wicked ways.

Beautiful Stranger by @interludemoonchild

This was a wild ride from start to finish. Taehyung is a tiger hybrid shifter who escapes from the circus to be close to a veterinary student he bonded with. There is a lot of interesting twists and surprises in this one. I was definitely screaming at the end.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by @jingabitch

A very young wolf hybrid Taehyung adopts you as his pet human when you are just a kid. After Tae leaves to serve in the military he returns to an adult version of his sweet little princess and chaos ensues. Mind the tags for this one folks. It’s excellent, but there are very triggering themes throughout.

▨ MULTIPLE PARTNERS ▨

Level of Restraint by @lemonjoonah

This is not strictly a Tae fic in that he is only one of three major players in this twisted masterpiece. Lemon is the undisputed queen of the surprise twist and this one is truly brilliant. People dropped this fic in the discord calling it the best fan fiction they had ever read and I am not here to argue with them at all. Fair warning, every word - every inch of this fic is sexy and it’s delicious brand of titillation is wrapped around your psyche good and tight by the end.

Four by @luxekook

The quadruplets next door are fueling your very lurid fantasies. It turns out they have some fantasies of their own... You will need water if you read this fic. This is the original patented Kim Taehyung Horny Hive Mind 4D Experience™

▨ NEIGHBORS AND ROOMMATES ▨

The Heat Wave Series by @curly-bangtan

The original story (chapter 1) in this series is definitely famous, but I don’t know how many people have read all 9 chapters and if you haven’t, you are really missing the incredible journey of two very horny idiots stumbling recklessly towards real and amazing love. Everything is set off when the air conditioner breaks and a pair of wild roommates shed their inhibitions along with their clothes.

Flicker by @chimoona

So this fic started out with adorable neighbor dynamics and ended with erotic rope tying. Baby I was ABOUT IT. This was so bloomin hot and also like sweet and tender. Really a sexy and sentimental treasure.

Not Your Typical Flower Shop Story by @jungtaeyoongles

This story goes from “aww” to “WHAT THE-” real quick. Fast paced plot and twist after twist turn the whole flower shop au upside down and then inside out. I can’t say more because spoilers but like - WOW.

▨ TABOO THEMES and DARK FIC ▨ (Sex Work/Power Imbalance/Very Unsafe Sex)

Extracurricular by @ppersonna

One of my favorite professor-student AUs. The reader writes her gorgeous professor a borderline erotic analysis of several major works of art and he feels compelled to discuss it with her privately. Lindy really outdid herself on this one. It is scorchin. Professor Tae is actually really sweet and somehow that just makes the whole thing hotter.

Akrasia by @nitaescence

This is insanely hot. Emphasis on the insane because it’s basically a super erotic romp where you have sex with a man you don’t know (Taehyung) on a crowded public bus. I literally felt my blood pressure going up the longer I read. Whew.

The Client by @jungkookiebus

This one hit me right in the feels. Taehyung is a sweet and lonely man who has a standing Wednesday appointment with an upscale sex worker. As the story progresses, feelings become involved on both sides. When I say I am checking her page thrice daily for part three... This is so engrossing. And this Tae. I just want to hold him.

Daffodil Dreams by @sombreboy

Tread carefully ladies and gents. This story is excellent, but it is easily the darkest fic on the list and, if you choose to read it, please read the trigger warnings carefully. The reader is a psychologist called in to analyze a very dangerous criminal. As their sessions progress, however, several boundaries are crossed.

Obey by @jjkfire

Taehyung is the most feared and ruthless member of the local mafia and you are the world’s most inept escort. You needed a job, but had no real interest in sex work and you’ve managed to fly under the radar as a glorified waitress until Kim Taehyung himself walks into your agency and decides that you’re the only girl he wants. Oh my gosh I loved this story so much. It was downright amazing and there is a surprise at the end that makes everything even sweeter.

[recurring-polynya]

Tokusatsu Au where Rukia plays the lead actress in a superhero action show. Renji plays one of the villains and they are The most popular ship in the fandom. Bonus points if Orihime plays the main villain and loves every second of it.

This was the very first prompt I got, and I fell in love. Unfortunately, aside from a brief period of being grotesquely fascinated with Power Rangers as teen, I know almost nothing about tokusatsu. I did as much research as I could and I attempted to watch an episode of Kamen Rider, but my eyes glazed over halfway through. Anyway, please forgive my inaccuracies, I wrote this with my heart.

ao3 | ff.net

🏍    ⚡   🎬

“Uh, looks like we’re almost out of time,” the panel moderator for “High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe!: A Sneak Peak at Season 5” declared, “but would you be willing to take just a few audience questions?”

Head Screenwriter Kurosaki Ichigo glanced at Leading Actress Kuchiki Rukia out of the corner of his eye, and she gave a tiny nod.

“Yeah, sure!” he replied.

There was already a young woman waiting at the microphone, practically vibrating with anxiety. She was wearing a t-shirt that had ZabiTo4Ever!! handwritten in marker on it. Rukia knew, deep down in her bones, what the question was going to be.

“Hi, yes, hello, big fan of your work! My question is: are Tomoe and Zabimaru going to kiss this season?”

“No,” Rukia started to say.

“As you probably know,” Ichigo said loudly on top of her, “the show holds close to the core plot points of Kuna-sensei’s manga, although, because of her minimalist style, we do expand a lot of the dialogue and filler scenes. She has said in several interviews that High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe! is not a romance manga, so the odds of Tomoe and Zabimaru ever kissing on screen are very, very low.”

The young woman stared at Ichigo grumpily. “Does this also count Zabimaru’s secret college student identity, Satonako Takeru?”

Ichigo stared back at her. “Yes. It does.”

The next question came from a person wearing a full suit of HellKnight’s plasma armor made out of overlapping plates of cardboard. Rukia was kind of impressed by it. She wondered if he could sit down.

“Hi, Kurosaki-sensei, I am a huge fan of your work,” a voice emanated from deep within the cardboard. “I was wondering if you are influenced at all by fanworks, and if Episode 73: Pride is on the Line!: The Bake Sale Must Go On! was based in any way on the classic fanfiction, ‘Tell Me All Your Best Lies’? It’s the top story by kudos in the ZabiTo tag, which I might point out is the most popular shipping category on AO3.”

Ichigo cleared his throat gently. “I am contractually not allowed to read fanfiction, although I do enjoy fanart! There are some incredibly talented artists in the fandom, although for some reason, no one ever wants to draw pictures of Lead Screenwriters.”

“I’ll draw you, sleeping on the set like you always do,” Rukia offered, and that got a pretty big laugh. Rukia’s Tumblr of behind-the-scenes doodle comics was beloved among the fandom.

The next question was from a nonbinary person wearing a big poufy skirt and a hairstyle that would make their make-up and hair guru, Yumichika, sit up and take notice. “Hi, this is a question for Kuchiki-san! If the show is going to roughly keep pace with the manga, as it has done up until now, you should be shooting the storyline where Tomoe and Queen Bloodbuzz switch bodies later this year. I was wondering if you could comment on how you feel about filming that storyline?”

Finally! A good one! “Yes!” Rukia nodded eagerly. “I don’t usually like to speak for my fellow cast members, but Orihime and I are beyond excited about playing each other. We’ve been studying each other’s mannerisms and practicing already! Does anyone want to hear my Queen Bloodbuzz cackle?” She wagged her eyebrows as the audience cheered. “Here goes-- bwaHaHaHaHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAAAAAAAA!”

“Bonechilling,” Ichigo commented dryly as the audience erupted.

“Amazing, Kuchiki-san!” the moderator exclaimed. “I think there is time for one more, but this will be the last question!”

A tall girl in a full set of High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe motorcycle leathers stepped to the microphone. She was holding a notebook. “Hello!” she warbled. “In a 2020 interview with the Psychics and Sidekicks podcast, Abarai Renji was asked about his opinion on ZabiTo as a ship, and he replied,” she consulted her notebook, “‘Tomoe is such a cool lady and talented Battle Clairvoyant, and she always follows her heart and stays true to herself. I think that Zabimaru can’t help but be impressed with her, even though they’re enemies, and I always try to roll that into our on-screen interactions.’ I know that in the past you’ve refused to comment on the ship, but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on, y’know, his thoughts?”

“Well, he’s correct, of course, Tomoe is very cool and admirable,” Rukia replied, which drew a few laughs, although it seemed like the audience was leaning forward in anticipation of her answer. “Like I said, I don’t like to speak for other cast members. I’ll be doing a big cast panel with Abarai and Inoue and Matsumoto and Ukitake tomorrow afternoon, and I hope you all can make it! See you then!”

The moderator thanked them enthusiastically, and then Ichigo and Rukia slipped out the back guest entrance.

“Evasive as always, Kuchiki,” Ichigo teased.

“Whatever,” Rukia sniffed. “The higher ups say we’re not supposed to comment on stuff like that, and I was not commenting. By the way, how many secret fanfic accounts are you up to? Four?”

“It’s only three!” Ichigo paused. “I wrote that fanfic the guy brought up.”

“Of course you did,” Rukia sighed. “I do blame you personally for the popularity of the damn ship.”

“Me? Blame Kuna for making up two such sexy, emotionally constipated dumbasses!” Ichigo defended.

“Also, it’s not Ichigo’s fault that you and Abarai have insane chemistry.”

Rukia spun around, grinning. “Orihime!”

Rukia’s two co-stars, Inoue Orihime and Abarai Renji, the portrayers of Tomoe’s demonic archnemeses, stood in the hallway behind them.

“We sat in on your panel!” Orihime beamed. “You two were brilliant!”

“Don’t worry,” Renji added. “We were incognito.”

“Incognito” was relative, Rukia supposed, when you were at Tokyo’s biggest tokusatsu

convention.

Orihime was wearing a Zabimaru outfit so detailed that she probably could have won a prize down at the cosplay hall. She had the gravity-defying ponytail, the eyeliner, the insane widow's peak (complete with forehead tatts), the fangs, the motorcycle boots. The paper mache snake skull helmet was a little lopsided, but it was charming. She had her top zipped a little higher than canon, but that was forgivable, too.

Renji had taken the opposite tack of looking as much like a normal person-- or at least a normal Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe superfan-- as possible. Relaxed fit jeans and an oversized hoodie de-emphasized his ultra-fit physique. He was wearing a t-shirt with a very dramatic rendering of Orihime that said “Queen Bloodbuzz can step on me!” and a ball cap with the logo of Seireitei University, the fictional college Tomoe and Takeru attended.

“You think you’re in disguise,” Rukia pointed out, “but there are thousands of teen girls in this place with entire Tumblrs dedicated to your stupid face when you’re out of costume.”

Renji cocked an eyebrow at her. “You underestimate me, Rukia. I have bought… new sunglasses.” With a flourish, he whipped out a pair of the dorkiest wayfarers she’d ever seen, and flipped them onto his face. “I’ve disappeared! Who am I? Where am I?”

“You look really great, Orihime,” Ichigo said, his cheeks coloring a little bit. “Did you get Uryuu or Yumichika to help you with that costume?” In his continuing theme of doing things he wasn’t supposed to, Ichigo had finally started dating Orihime on the downlow around the time they finished up filming last season. It had done absolutely nothing for how shy he still got around her. They were, in Rukia’s opinion, cute as hell.

“Oh, no, that would be cheating!” Orihime replied, wagging a finger at him. “Well…maybe I did cheat, just a tiny bit. Renji helped me make the helmet and he held up references for me while I was painting on the tattoos.”

“Only the forehead ones,” Renji quickly added.

“He wouldn’t even offer feedback on my booby tattoos!” Orihime frowned. She leaned forward. “Rukia, how do they look?”

Ichigo turned even redder.

“Perfect, as in all you do!” Rukia replied loftily.

“What’s everyone got coming up next?” Renji asked. “I was thinking of slipping out and trying to pick up some real coffee.”

“I’m judging a villainess-themed cosplay competition,” Orihime chirped. “But I’m dying for a blueberry caramel iced latte. Renji, my henchman, pleeeeease!”

“Of course, my liege,” Renji replied in his Zabimaru voice.

It’s not like it had been a hard decision to accept the role of the motorcycle-riding, badass heroine of one of the most popular manga of the last decade, but it had turned out to be one of the best decisions of Rukia’s life. not just her career. Aside from a few of the money-obsessed executives, she liked nearly everyone in the cast and crew, but the fact that the fact that the ruthless, homicidal, literally Hell-spawned villains of the show were played by the two sweetest marshmallow people she had ever met just took the cake. Renji and Orihime had already known each other from some voicework they had done previously, and their excitement at working together on a live-action project had infected the entire cast from the start. Rukia wasn’t sure, but she strongly suspected that Renji was the one who had hyped Orihime up to ask Ichigo out.

“I have a writers’ workshop I’m moderating this afternoon, and I wanted to review the writing samples people sent in,” Ichigo said, scratching the back of his head. “I’d love to stop by that cosplay contest, though, at least for a few minutes.”

“You’ll be needing caffeine, too, then, eh?” Renji offered. “Hot, black, and in the largest cup they make, as usual?”

“Ugh, you’re the best,” Ichigo groaned. “You wanna power-up this season? Costume update? You know what? Maybe I’ll just have you defeat Tomoe once and for all, no one likes her anyway.”

“C’mon, you know I’m the world’s number one Tomoe simp, don’t do that!” Renji laughed.

Rukia rolled her eyes. “I’m free and I could use some fresh air. Besides, it’s going to take all your dumb muscles just to carry Kurosaki’s vat of coffee back here.”

“Cool!” Renji proclaimed. “We’ll be back soon!”

“Thanks, Renjiiiii!” Orihime waved.

“You need to stop off and put on a disguise?” Renji asked.

“No point in it, I always get recognized,” Rukia sighed, pulling her sunglasses out of her purse anyway.

“Here,” Renji said, plunking his hat on her head. “Maybe this will help.”

“Thanks,” Rukia replied, and then did a double take. “Whaaaaaat is on your head?”

“Shut up!” Renji laughed. He usually shaved his head when they were filming, because it made it easier to deal with the make-up and wigs, but since they were between seasons, he’d grown his hair out into a short, tousled mop of reddish-brown waves. He looked, for the lack of a better word, dreamy. “I shot a movie over the summer, and they wanted me to look softer.”

Rukia looked at him over the top of her sunglasses. “You didn’t tell me you were doing a movie!”

“Oh, it was just a little indy romcom thing. I wasn’t sure it was gonna pan out, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“You were in a romcom? You’re kidding me!” They ducked out of a side door of the convention center into the bright sunshine.

“Yeah, it’s about a guy who goes to the gym to try to get ripped to impress a girl, and makes friends with me, this nice, already ripped dude who gives him lifting tips and encourages him a bunch. By the end of the movie, it turns out we have crushes on each other.”

“Oh, no, that sounds really cute, actually!”

“It was written by a woman who graduated from one of Ichigo’s writing workshops. The script was really snappy and Ichigo thought having someone like me as the gym guy would give it just a bit of campy cachet. You know what a good sense he’s got for stuff like that.”

“That was cool of you to go out on a limb a little,” Rukia replied.

Renji rubbed the back of his neck. “I’d been wanting to try something like that for a while, actually.”

Rukia blinked. “You aren’t… you aren’t thinking of leaving the show, are you?”

“Huh? No. No! No, the show means the world to me, I would never. But… it’s not gonna run forever, y’know?”

“I would have guessed you’d want to be a big action star or something!” Rukia said, throwing a few air punches. “That’s my dream!”

Renji stuffed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “Yeah, that’s what I thought I wanted when I first got into acting. I’d read the Tomoe manga, and I thought playing Zabimaru would be a good jumping-off point, besides just being a cool character overall.”

“Is that… not true?” Rukia frowned.

“Oh, I mean, I guess so! I didn’t really know about the fandom, though and… to be honest, I’m kinda into the idea that there are all these fans who think I’m complex and redeemable?”

Rukia regarded him out of the corner of her eye. “They just want to fix you.”

“Maybe! Ichigo made me read this one fanfic that was eight thousand words of the reader getting sick and Zabimaru making them soup? And feeding them the soup? I still haven’t decided how I feel about it.”

“How does he have time to find these things? Does he even sleep?”

“Anyway, it doesn’t hurt to be well-rounded and it was fun. I’m still mostly an action guy, but I wouldn’t mind doin’ something with a romantic subplot. A period drama or something like that. I look pretty good in hakama, you know.”

“I bet you do,” Rukia laughed. She squinted at him, but his expression was unreadable behind the shades. Renji didn’t have the classic leading man looks, not like her ridiculously famous older brother, but she could definitely see him as the best friend, the B-plot romance, with his cute, messy hair and that big doofy grin.

“By the way, I’m sorry you had to field that question about me spilling my romantic sensibilities on that podcast.”

Rukia laughed. “You didn’t even answer the question, either! These people are relentless!”

Renji stopped at a street corner and peered down the various possible directions they could go. “Which way feels like it might have a coffee shop?”

“You didn’t have one in mind before we left? I thought you knew where we were going!”

“Nah, I just like to go out and see what there is.”

“I can look up a map,” Rukia said, reaching in her bag for her phone.

“Let’s just go this way,” Renji said, stepping out into the street in the direction that had the WALK light. Rukia sighed and had to scramble to catch up with him.

“So, what do you think about it?”

“Huh?” Rukia asked. “Think about what?”

“Our ship. ZabiTo.”

“I can’t believe you just said that word out loud. And you know we’re not supposed to give our opinion on it!”

“Aw, c’mon, we’re not supposed to give public statements on our opinions. I don’t think there’s any harm in talking between ourselves. We’re in disguise, even.”

“‘Disguise’,” Rukia sniffed.

“You don’t like it, I can tell.”

“He’s a bad guy! Everyone always talks about chemistry, and that may be true, but I just don’t think that Tomoe could ever get over his acts of violence and cruelty.”

“Queen Bloodbuzz is cruel. Zabimaru is not cruel.”

“Okay, that’s fair, but still. He’s kidnapped just about all of Tomoe’s friends and or turned them into monsters at one time or another. He’s always setting Karakura Town on fire or flooding it with magic lizard goo. He ruined the sports festival.”

“Maybe the sports festival deserved to be ruined,” Renji muttered under his breath.

“Okay, you’ve got a point on that one,” Rukia admitted.

“It’s really clear though, that he’s got some agenda beyond just simping for Queen Bloodbuzz--”

“The simping for Queen Bloodbuzz is the most relatable thing about him, to be honest.”

“Granted. But, what if he’s got a good reason for everything he does, actually? What if he’s doing all of this against his own moral code as a means of infiltrating Hell itself and getting himself into a position of trust so that he can bring down the Lords of Hell from the inside?”

Rukia slipped her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose. “Does Kuna give you Zabimaru spoilers?” The reclusive creator High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe! was only barely involved with the television show, but she did privately meet with each of the cast members about once a year. Most of Rukia’s meetings consisted of Kuna giving her constructive criticism on her battle poses.

“No, mostly we practice sneering,” Renji replied. “But I gotta play the guy, so I gotta think about this, you know, what motivates him? I mean, you’re probably right, it would never work out. But unlike Tomoe, whose principles would call for her to ignore any attraction she has to him, Zabimaru has the freedom to pine for her, perhaps because his love is futile and he doesn’t think he deserves it anyway.”

“That’s kinda dark, dude,” Rukia frowned.

“Yes, well, that is the kind of character acting that netted me the 2019 Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Best Villain Award, Foreign Language Category.”

“That’s literally what’s going through your head when you’re shouting that if I can’t make some sick motorcycle jump, you’ll turn all my friends into stuffed animal versions of themselves?”

“No, of course not! At those times I’m thinking about how much I love my job. OH! and what is that I see!” Renji struck an extremely Zabimaru pose. “A MISTER DONUT!”

“My hero!” Rukia exclaimed, unable to resist an opportunity to shout dramatically. “I’m sorry I doubted you!”

“I think we should get some donuts, too. Orihime loves donuts,” Renji declared.

“Oh, for sure,” Rukia agreed. She was thoughtful for a moment. It would be easy to move on to a different subject, the subject being donuts, but she wasn’t happy with leaving the last conversation hanging. “Look, Renji, just because I don’t like the dumb ship, you know that’s not a reflection on you, right?”

“Huh?” Renji replied. “You mean you don’t mind if I like it?”

“Well… I mean, I don’t, I guess, but what I really meant was, er… we joke a lot, but Tomoe and Zabimaru are just parts, y’know? Just because I don’t think Zabimaru isn’t good boyfriend material doesn’t mean I…” Rukia trailed off, suddenly realizing what she was saying. “Um. What I mean is. You’re very nice and probably one of my favorite people I’ve ever worked with and if someone I knew wanted to ask you out, I would definitely encourage them to, A+ guy, I’d say, probably would make a great boyfriend.”

Renji pushed his sunglasses up onto his forehead and regarded her for a long moment. “For the record, Kuchiki, I think that both you and Tomoe would make excellent girlfriend material.” While Rukia stood there and gaped like a fish, he turned and pushed open the door to the coffee shop. “Ichigo likes crullers and Orihime always wants the most colorful thing they’ve got. Do you know what you want?”

“I need to think about it,” Rukia squeaked. She wasn’t talking about donuts.

🏍    ⚡   🎬 

Bonus: Here are my notes from when I was making up the show. I hope this wasn’t too confusing!

High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe!

based on a manga by reclusive mangaka Kuna Mashiro

Head Screenwriter: Kurosaki Ichigo

🌟 Starring: 🌟

Kuchiki Rukia as Yukimura Tomoe, a spunky college student who can see ghosts and fights demons from Hell! She rides a motorcycle!

Inoue Orihime as Queen Bloodbuzz, a Lady of Hell, who seeks to gather energy from the Living Realm so that she can become the Supreme Ruler of Hell. Very aesthetic. Much bees.

Abarai Renji as Zabimaru, Queen Bloodbuzz’s ruthless henchman. He leads a double life as fierce-looking, but gentle-hearted college student Satonaka Takeru! What is his long game??

[jiantan]

Awkward Introductions || Jian & Brandon

When: May 3, 2021

Where: Jian’s apartment, Santa Monica, California

Featuring: Brandon Kelly (dialogue provided by Katie @itsbrandonkelly)

Triggers: N/A

Jian was heading home from the drycleaner. As he unlocked the front door to the building, he noticed someone approaching. The man looked familiar to Jian, but he couldn't put his finger on where he had seen this face before. The stranger definitely didn't live in his building, but perhaps he had visited before. He held the door open for the other man, offering a polite wave.

Brandon checked his messages for what felt like the hundredth time since he’d left his apartment before slipping the phone into his jacket pocket. Now that he wasn’t distracted by the device, he realised the door was being help open for him and quickened his pace slightly. He should say thank you, like any normal person would. Instead he flashed the other male a smile as he passed. “Cute and courteous. Must be my lucky day.”

The stranger's words brought a light blush to Jian's face. After hearing his voice and getting a closer look at him, he realized where he had seen this man. "Uh, you... You know Minjoon, right? You've been in his videos before, I think. At least I think it's you. I'm sorry if I'm mistaking you for someone else."

The blushing was cute but it was the others comments that caused him to grin, even giggle a little as he nodded in confirmation. “I can’t believe I’m getting recognised from Joonie’s videos. That’s cute, I’ll have to tell him he’s making me famous. You’re a fan of his channel then?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. He told me that he made videos, so I decided to start watching them to support him.” Joonie was his friend, and he also had good recipes. “My name is Jian. I live on the same floor as Minjoon.” He wondered if Minjoon had mentioned him at all, but he doubted it. He wasn’t really worth mentioning.

“Hold the fuck up. You’re Jian? I can’t believe he could take an hour to tell me about a recipe for Reginald but couldn’t take five seconds to tell me that you’re hot.” Brandon shook his head, tutting in disapproval. “Not even five, more like three. So how long have you known Joonbug, then?”

“... Yes?” he answered, confusedly. He was surprised that he knew who he was, and even more surprised when he was called hot. “I-I... what?” he stammered. He didn’t know how to respond to the compliment, so he quickly tried to change the subject. “Um... we started really speaking to each other in January of this year. I’ve lived here since September of 2019 though.”

“It’s nice to finally be able to put a face to the name. If I’d known it looked like that I would have come and said hi sooner.” He was getting more and more amused at how easily Jian seemed to be thrown off with the compliment. “You’ve lived in here longer than Joonbug then. Damn, if I’d known Mav had some kind of hot people only requirement, I would have gotten an apartment here instead. Maybe I should...”

“I, uh, I’m sorry. I’m not sure what your name is. I’ve seen your face in the videos but I’m not the best with names.” He felt bad, but also thought it would be better to ask than to pretend that he knew his name. “Oh, you know Maverick too?” he asked, getting increasingly redder the more the stranger complimented his appearance.

He raised an eyebrow, still amused at the responses he was getting but he still held out his hand to be polite. “Brandon. My friends call me B, my employees call me Queenie and if you’d like, you can call me at any time.” Brandon have a small nod, his smile becoming fond at the topic of his friend. “Yeah, Mavie and I are good friends. Joonie and I have brunch every weekend with the whole family.”

Jian shook Brandon's hand, feeling silly for not making the connection until now. "Oh! You're Brandon! I've heard about you, but I never put the face to the name. I can... wait, uh, but I don't have your phone number..." He scratched the back of his head in confusion. "Oh, we hang out sometimes. I've never had brunch with his family though. I think it would be a little inappropriate because his sister is my boss."

“That’s okay, I prefer having some kind of reputation proceed me.” His smile was amused as Jian made the point about his number and reached into his bag for a pen and one of his cards, stepping into his space and pressing the card to Jian’s chest so he could write his cell on it too. “There’s an easy fix to that..” He rolled his eyes at that but kept smiling. “I tell his mom all the time how hot she is. I don’t understand inappropriate.”

Jian was extremely confused about what was happening and didn’t have the words in English to express how he felt about this interaction. Was this flirtation? Was he just extremely friendly? Jian honestly couldn’t tell. “I’m sorry, you do what now?” Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell had hired him, and he had a lot of fear and respect for both of them.

Slipping the pen back into his bag, Brandon giggled and shook his head. “Every time I see her, I tell her how hot she’s looking, offer to pay for the divorce so I can be Mav’s new step dad, all that jazz.” He waved it off as though it was no big deal. “So you work with his sister? I could have sworn that Joonie said you were a computer dude or something?”

Jian blinked at Brandon. "Why do you want to become Maverick's step-father?" he asked, curiously. Though he wasn't certain if he actually wanted to know the answer. "I work for her. She's my boss. I'm a cyber security engineer. My job is to make sure Maxwell Energy's business secrets and financial records don't fall into the hands of hackers."

“Is that really even a question? His dad is hot and rich, I wouldn’t be opposed to being his sugar baby and his mom is a beautiful, successful woman. I wouldn’t be opposed to being her sugar baby either. Or maybe I just want Maverick to call me daddy for a change.” Brandon had barely reached the end of his sentence before he started grinning and he had to press his lips together to bite back a laugh. “That’s hot. I’m not really a computer person myself but that sounds a little dangerous and a lot sexy so kudos. Now I’m no longer surprised why he tried keeping you to himself.”

"I-I don't think I can think about the people who hired me in that kind of context..." The Maxwells were objectively an attractive family, but as an employee of their company, this whole conversation felt inappropriate. Brandon didn't work for them, as far as Jian was aware, so it probably wasn't an issue for him at all. Brandon's next comment caused even more confusion for him. Who was keeping Jian to himself? Minjoon? Why would he do that? "What do you mean by that?"

“Huh. I’m pretty sure that’s not how being attracted to someone or finding someone attractive works but you do you buddy.” Brandon’s grin softened into an amused smile, a small roll of his eyes. “I mean you’re this close by and I’m only just meeting you now, without him introducing us. Probably because I can be a menace when I want to be but can’t we all?”

"Brandon, I am not sexually attracted to my bosses. I am too afraid of them for that... and I don't know why I said that out loud." He was getting flustered by this conversation, to say the least. "I assumed it was because he liked my animals more than he liked me... And once again, I'm oversharing. Sorry." He usually only overshared like this if he was drunk. He wasn't even the slightest bit intoxicated, so he had no idea why this was coming out.

Jian’s candidness caused a laugh to escape him and he had to bring his hand up to cover his mouth. “Oh my god. You don’t have to want to bone them to think they’re attractive. You’ve totally thought about it, that’s hilarious! Don’t worry, Jiji, your secret is safe with me. I won’t bring it up on purpose at brunch, at least.” He snorted softly, teasing Jian with how easily he became flustered. “Surely if that was the case, we’d have met sooner and I’d be the perfect distraction so he could chill with your pets. Don’t take it personally though, everyone thinks animals are easier than people and you must already know he can be an anxious bean.” He hummed quietly, scrunching his nose up. “It’s my cute, innocent face and maybe tiny Joonie trusting me. Lures you into a sense of security, right?”

The more Brandon spoke, the more Jian wondered how he and Minjoon ended up becoming friends. It reminded him of himself with his ex-boyfriend. Perhaps the phrase ‘opposites attract’ really did hold some merit. “Thank you— wait, did you just call me Jiji?” he asked, blinking in confusion. That was a nickname that his mother called him as a child. She stopped calling him that when he was 11, once she felt he was ‘too old for nicknames.’ It was strange hearing the name again, especially from an American. He never let his American classmates call him by nicknames because he wanted them to learn his actual name. It was the same reason why he never adopted an American name. “I know animals are easier than people, that’s why I have pets instead of roommates,” he half-joked. “I... plead the fifth.”

[writefightandflightclub]

Me appreciating you for Fanfic Writers’ Appreciation Day, but a day late, because I do everything late. Anyway... yay!

1. PLEASE LOOK DOWN THIS LIST (BELOW THE CUT) UNTIL YOU SPOT AN AUTHOR YOU’RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH

2. GO AND CHECK OUT THEIR STUFF

3. SCREAM AT THEM ABOUT HOW GREAT THEY ARE

4. SIGNAL BOOST THE HELL OUT OF THEIR STUFF

5. REPEAT STEPS ABOVE

Firstly, before we proceed to the list: I will have forgotten people, and for that I am so sorry (not in any way intentional)- I will come back and update if I spot someone I’ve missed. Secondly, for fic authors who weren’t tagged on Fic Writers’ Day, please keep doing what you’re doing! Putting your writing out there takes courage and I’m super proud of you. I’m so pleased we have your unique voice in the fandom, and I appreciate you.

Secondly, if you know an author who perhaps didn’t get as much love as they deserve (and don’t be afraid to self-hype) please send me an ask with a) their/your handle b) which fandom they/you write for (to be relevant to my page pls keep this to SW, Oscar, Pedro, MCU) c) why people should check them/you out and, if you like, which fic to start with, and I’ll do a shout-out.

Finally, if you aren’t a writer yet but you want to be, I believe in you! Please take the plunge! My inbox is always open to any aspiring writers who need encouragement to make that first post or start that first fic. I’ve been in your position, and believe me I’m in your corner. Happy to be your hype girl.

Reccing authors in Star Wars / Oscar / Pedro fandoms:

@okay-hotshot / Celeste is the loveliest human ever. She had me hooked from her first fic, which broke then healed my heart, and I’m so proud of her writing journey so far! Check her page out for Oscar character fics and the most magical, creative, immersive, touching, original Llewyn fic you could dream up: Wait for me.

@mandoplease where do I even start? Becca oozes talent and absolutely floors me every single time. The first fic I read was: The City Lights Can Wait (Santi x reader) and I was just blown away by the writing prowess. Gorgeous prose, mind blowing metaphors and descriptions. A personal fave is the Santi/Frankie threesome fic: Moving Day, but Fight Night also needs a mention. Check her out for Triple Frontier / Narcos / Star Wars characters.

@mylifeliterally Ok, Emma is an absolute gem of a human. Funny, welcoming and so supportive of other writers. Oh, and can be counted on for thots. I often rec the positively artful Triple Frontier gangbang fic (and now series) Team Building Exercise, but don’t overlook her other fics- I especially love: Just for Tonight, a two-part Santi fic. The Triple Frontier Queen, she is slowly dragging everyone into a pit of yearning along with her for every single one of those boys and we’re not even mad. Her writing is flawless and I cannot get enough. P.s. she has a refridgerator husband.

@tintinwrites I’ve already gushed at Caitlin today so I’ll keep it brief. Queen of Poe, and also branching out and excelling with everything she touches in Pedro fandoms too. I think I’ve read near everything on her masterlist and there are no wrong choices, but to pick out only a couple, which is a hard task, imma rec Forbidden Fruit and Fifty Ways to Kiss someone for Po, and Nothing Could be Finer for reader x Frankie x Santi. 

@woakiees again, gushed at Hadley already so I’ll try and keep it chill here. Queen of angst and darkness, and of First Order Poe. Also love that she’s writing for Santi and Din now too. Caitlin says it best when she describes Hadley’s writing as like something from 1843 with a modern twist. Such a unique voice. Imma recommend Sanctified and So ruthless, Darling for Poe.

@iamthe-shadow-on-the-wall Abby! The range! You know I remind you on a bi-monthly basis how much Lonely Nights (Poe x reader) broke my heart and here we go again. You can do it all- fluffy, slow burn series (Call it what you want), heartbreaking angst and smut- your Blue Jones mob boss AU, Darkest Little Paradise? Wowzers. Plus, you’re a sweetie and I love when we scream at each other. 

@darksideofclarke Clarke does so much for us all and just keeps giving. From the Sinful Sunday events to the incredible Follower Celebration, to setting up a whole side blog to extend the character takeovers?! Blessed with content! And Clarke’s fics?! Exquisite, and such a choice of characters from the Oscar fandom. I particularly love Now and Forevermore (Orestes); Bulletproof (Santi); Humbled (Blue); and ‘Til Death Do They Part (Mikael) but I could easily go on. Clarke you’re so talented. And you are a lovely human to boot!

@bluebellhairpin Nemo, you are a joy, and I won’t gush at you too much bc I already did that today, but I love what you’re putting out. You write for so many fandoms, which is so impressive, and you’re a fellow Poe hoe. I adore your series Fight or Flight, Rider, but you have so many cute one-shots and blurbs too e.g. Poe Dameron is an Idiot! Your audios give me life as well.

@spider-starry Carrie is so much fun and has been branching out a lot in her writing recently, which is great to see! I love Carrie’s 100 letter project in particular, for various Oscar characters, as well as this smutty Nathan NSFW Alphabet, which had me all in a tizz.

@aellynera (tag me in your stuff pls?) I love your drunk text series for Santi and Nathan and your Itsy Bitsy Spider headcanons made me howl! I’m so excited to see what you put out next! And I love that you also love Nathan :D

@anetteaneta already gushed at you today so I’ll keep it brief, but I’m so happy you’re sharing your writing! I loved your Sherlock series for Santi so much! And OMG wait, I didn’t see you’d written for Nathan until just now. Must catch-up. (Please tag me in any Oscar stuff you put out?)

@veuliee2 I need to catch-up on a lot of your fics to be fair (please tag me in stuff?) but you write Orestes so wonderfully and with so much heart that it blows me away (New Constellations). So few fics on him on this site and yours are a pleasure. Plus, you’re an all round lovely person! :o)

@thirsty-flygirl I don’t think you believe how good you are which makes me very sad to be honest. Because you’re amazing. You write Poe so spot on, so warm and goofy and a lovable sexy dumbass. Perfect. Your writing and dialogue makes me smile / laugh and you can somehow make it hot and soft all at once. I love your series Idiots in particular. (Please tag me in more of your stuff though as I worry I miss things you put out?). You’re great and I love having you here.

@twomoonstwosuns​ I really need to catch-up on your Poe series, Back to You but I really enjoyed the chapters I’ve read! (Please tag me in future Poe stuff?) You’re a star! 

@absurdthirst I’m newish in the Pedro fandoms so still getting to grips with it, but have loved what I’ve seen so far and look forward to delving deeper (and there’s plenty to get stuck into!)!Most recently read the Ezra fic Healing which was beautifully and sensitively written (cw: for prior assault).

@damerondjarin Taylor is multi-talented and blesses us, tbh, with GIFs and writing. She’s currently in tumblr jail, but I strongly advise you check out all her stuff. I came for Santi fics and they did not disappoint (I can’t link to it but the latest Santi fic killed me and was a wonderul take on the “there’s only one bed” trope.

@damndamer0n you have a gift, Ty. I’m in awe and I don’t know how you do what you do. Your way with words is really something special. I bow. Gonna recommend Just Friends for Poe because this is such a warm and immersive (and hot) fic and so in character. But honestly all your stuff is perfect. I’ve read things for characters I’ve never heard of before because of you and have loved each and every one. (Like, really, what are your secrets, tell us?). Also gonna shout-out to your Ezra fic, Sunlight, beacuse the world-building and mood-building was lovely. Really memorable!

@mssr-cellophane I found your work recently through FinnPoe week and your glorious take on the The Jacket prompt (links to A03). Looking forward to reading more of your stuff (please feel free to tag me!) and surprised by how much I vibe with all your posts haha. Happy to follow you! :)

@yougottakeeponkeepinon AMANDA? Where do I begin and how do I stop? You’re such an important part of this site for me. I think you’re wonderful as a person and I love your writing too. Miscommunication (First Order! Poe) is off the scale brilliant, and then you blew me away with your latest Santi fic, Eavesdropping, but honestly, I’ve never read anything of yours I didn’t love, from goofy Poe to soft soft Llewyn (I love Away from the Sun). I WANNA YELL AT YOU YOU’RE JUST THE BEST.

@poesflygirl Nat is a ball of energy and that comes across in her writing. Nat, you write with such verve and energy and defo have a unique voice. You write the angstiest angst and fluffiest fluff and you also write action and dialogue so well. Your fics have a ton of unexpected turns and are unpredictable, and you have loads of unique ideas which are really fresh and different to read. You don’t seem to believe how good you are, which makes me sad tbqh. I love when I see a tag pop up and get to read something new from you! In particular love your Poe series, You and Paging a Heart, and these Poe one-shots: Just another Benduday Night and Truth or Dare.

@starryeyedstories NOVA. You are pure sunshine. You spread so much positivity and you’re the loveliest human. Your are the Queen of softness and fluff and for comforting and beautifully written fics. Your series, Across the Hall,has taken us all on such a wonderful journey and I don’t want it to ever end. It’s like my happy place! Each chapter is practically a hug with words. Your Din one-shot All of Me is so romantic as well!

@softpedropascal I’m newish in Pedro fandoms but softpedropascal writes wonderfully for Frankie. The dedication to the character is evident, and characterisation wonderful- I can’t wait to read more: Masterlist

@rzrcrst okay, you may know rzrcrst for Pedro fics (which are wonderful) but she also recently started writing for Tony Stark and I’m so happy! 😀🧡 (Fun fact- her url is also the reason I couldn’t spell Razor Crest properly when I finally started writing for Din). She’s currently taking a well-earned tumblr break but fics are still up on Ao3- linked in profile.

@writefasttalkevenfaster​ Please tag me in any of your Star Wars stuff as I swear I keep missing things and I don’t mean to! Masterlist

@galaxy-of-stories​ Maddie, I keep missing things you post but you’re lovely and your writing is awesome. I love your Poe series Over and Over and I think I’ve just spotted a new chapter to catch-up on so lucky me! :D

@who-talks-first Billie, my lovely friend! You’re wonderful to have around on this hellsite. Your dedication to supporting writers in these fandoms is unparelled and you’re an absolute sweatheart, as well as super fun to chat to and thirst with. You have certainly made my experience on this site so much better! And also, your writing? Excuse me? So good. Your Poe fic, The Torture of Small Talk With Someone You Used to Love? Sublime! And the Poe, Naked, Dripping, Locked? So funny! You definitely have a unique style and your writing can be simultaneously edgy, poetic, and moving. ILY!

@xxidontwikeitxx Hope you don’t mind being included, as you haven’t posted your work, but you ARE a writer, and I’m so happy you’ve recently started creating! Again, hope you don’t mind me saying, but I had the pleasure of reading your Marcus Pike blurb, and it’s was so soft and lovely. I really hope - when/if you’re comfortable- you decide share your work, and if not, I hope you keep enjoying the process! Would leave to read more from you in the future!

@shakespeareanwannabe is writing such a heartfelt Santi x OC story (find it here) with sublime characterisation of both Santi and Frankie, AS WELL AS seriously well-rounded and compelling OCs / supporting cast. This series is a key contributor for me falling down a Frankie rabbit role, and my First Dates fic likely wouldn’t exist without it! So excited for more!

Also shoutout to @ollypopp @milleniumvalcon @justrunamok @yourbucky084 who are delightful beings and whose writing I need to catch-up on!I look forward to it!

[birdsaesthetic]

surprises

A/N: Sorry I’m posting my participation for @holidayblindspot very late, but I was so caught up with homework, which never ends... I simply thought I would make Jane’s first birthday with Kurt fall during Autumn, because it’s just the best timing throughout the year, right? Now this is a wordy fic, but I promise it’s so much fun and sexy! Anyway, ENJOY  🎈🥳🍂.

Song inspiration: Happy Birthday by John Legend. (you may listen to this song while reading. It’s so beautiful!)

They’re lying like two spoons in a drawer, very tight against each other. Kurt’s warm, silent breathing is grazing Jane’s neck in a regular rhythm, to which she flutters her eyes open to bright sunlight shining between white curtains, and to the sounds of birds whistling noisily from outside.

For more or less a minute, she stays perfectly still, only blinking in laziness and yawning as she tries to figure out where exactly she was, and to piece together the events of the previous night.

As she does so, she struggles a little; her memory is patchy and there’re definitely several gaps missing, but the parts she can recall are amazingly vivid.

Last night she celebrated her Birthday with Kurt, she remembers that for sure, but not in details. She also remembers having had so much alcohol, which up until now she can taste its powerful taste in her mouth. And at the feeling of her body retaining traces of having been pulled in, kissed, caressed, and given orgasms, she remembers the mind-blowing sex she had last night and so she sighs.    

 Kurt’s bare skin against her back has the right amount of warmth that now is engulfing her, tempting to shut her eyes close and go back to sleep. She doesn’t resist the urge and does so, just after having rolled over so she can face him, then snuggles deeper into his embrace, wrapping an arms around his middle. Now, at the new posture, her cheek and ear are squished against his chest and as her eyes maintained close, she listens to his heartbeat, vividly pumping against her ear. And so she decides to stay like this for a while, because the feeling is unmatched...

But it’s not after a couple minutes that she reopens her eyes, changed position by crawling a little up, and looks deeply at his face in rest. He’s silent and still. Peaceful and handsome. Half of his face is tucked against the pillow as he lies down on his stomach. A warm smile of contentment begins to form on her sleepy face for having woken up yet another morning of her life next to him, and for being able to see him and touch him while she brushes a hand against his hair to fix its pattern in one side. Next her fingertips outline his ear, which, last night, she’d kissed it, gave it little bites, blown her breath into it, and inhaled its fragrance, all while he was inside her.

As she continues to touch him softly and randomly, a question crosses her mind. Is it really true what Kurt told me last night, that the most beautiful things in the world aren’t necessarily seen, nor touched, but rather felt with the heart?

Even now she’s still thinking about it, even if last night she herself told him that this wasn’t entirely true and then they changed the subject.

A warm touch of yours must be as fulfilling as the feeling it leaves behind it on your beloved ones. And the feels of anticipation rush through your mind is just as exciting as looking into your beloved ones eyes, the window of the soul. This is simply how Jane concluded last night, although back then, at that particular moment, she was a little drunk and very, very sexually aroused. She’s still embracing her conclusion from last night nonetheless, up until now. And again, she thinks that might differ from one person to another.

What else happened last night? Oh God, a lot.

The two were having dinner, grilled salmon steaks with boiled vegetables nicely put aside, when Kurt gazed at Jane from across the table and asked, “Are you ready for tonight?”

Jane looked up at him in surprise; she’d been pouring her full concentration into cutting her steak, but that question, his husky voice, and the teasing look in his eyes, threw her off gurad. “What is tonight?” She asked in confusion, to which Kurt bursted out laughing.

She frowned, hardly swallowed down the chunk of food she was chewing, and then yelled at him, “Kurt!”

He laughed for one last time, before he fixed his eyes on her and stared silently for a little while—surprised to see her own surprise.

Leaning over the table, he said, “It is your birthday, and you seem to have no idea!”

Her jaw dropped to have just remembered that, and then she ducked down her head in an attempt to hide what she knew were flaming cheeks. But did it even work? Since he was mere feet across her from table, and with that huge chandelier hanged right above them, making every little change happening in her face visible?

It wasn’t until she pondered for a brief moment, doing some math in her head and finding out that tonight would actually meet with her Birthday, that she looked up and spoke. “Oh my God! It just slipped my mind.”

Kurt stared at her for a long moment, a warm  look in his eyes. He couldn’t blame her, really, given how everything in their life had been crazy lately. Yet, he never forgot it, and had been waiting for it impatiently like a little child waiting for something.

“It’s okay, I remembered it and I’m so ready for it, are you?”

“Ready?”

“Yeah! You gotta be ready too, tonight, after an hour or so. I have a surprise for you.” He told her, before taking a forkful of mixed vegetables into his mouth. It had been long since Jane had put her fork down after realizing that the butterflies in her stomach wouldn't let her continue eating, and now she was watching him chew his food and cut into it for maybe a minute straight.

Normally after dinner was their bedtime: they’d quickly clean off all the mess in the kitchen and wash off the dishes together. Though this time around Jane was excused to go get ready as Kurt did all of that.

She rushed out of his sight then, and went straight away to grip a shower first, which, with haste, had taken her good ten minutes. When she was done with that, she entered the bedroom to find Kurt lying over their perfectly made bed, facing the ceiling, his eyes shut. He also seemed ready, fully dressed up.

Shutting the door behind her, hair soaking wet, body wrapped in a white towel, Jane smiled the tiniest of smiles at the sight of him  lying in rest, before she set the lighting to be more illuminating then walked the few paces toward the wardrobe and opened it in search for something to wear tonight. A minute passed, two, three, but she was yet to decide what or how she should dress for tonight.

Staring at the shelves full of clothes, indecisive, she called Kurt’s name, to which he immediately opened his eyes and reasoned, always anticipating her needs.

“What should I wear for tonight? What kinda place you’re taking me to?” She asked, head turned toward him getting up on his feet.

“Umm, I can’t really tell you much. But I can pick you something, if you feel indecisive.”

“Yes, please.”

By now, Kurt was already at the wardrobe next to her, having a brief look at the items within the wardrobe before deciding. A few seconds later of rummaging through the items hanging in the wardrobe he actually ended up choosing something. A soild black dress with long sleeves. It appeared so tiny that it would definitely accentuate every curve in her body, and it would stop at her mid-thigh, leaving the rest of her legs bare.

Kurt’s face broke into the widest grin as he turned around and held up the hanger of the dress so she could have a good look. Just like him, Jane seemed to have loved it so much by the smile appearing in her face as she reached out and took it from his hand. It was a dress that she’d never had a chance to wear it before, so it was in a perfect condition, had been nicely hanged.

Once Kurt dismissed himself out the bedroom, after having shot her a knowing look, Jane took her sweet time as she put on a nice pair of underwear then slipped into the dress. A tiny eureka moment she experienced when it fitted her just like a glove and she chuckled aloud to that. Maybe it looked a little tight, a little short, but she’d fallen in love with it already and decided to match it with black heels. For makeup she didn’t bother with much: she applied minimal eyeshadow and paired it with matte, deep burgundy lipstick that looked so fierce and brought everything to the next level. As usual, she let her hair air dry as she did all of that.

The final look was the simplest yet hottest set, having both the the burgundy lipstick and the mess of tattoos over her legs contrast with the darkness of the dress...

So beautiful.

And, because it was in midst of Autumn, during which chilly winds blew all the times and the sky might be threatening at any given moment, she gripped a coat with her, a black one. Before getting out, she asked Kurt if she should take anything else with her besides that, but he shook his head with ease, approached her, then pressed his mouth against her ear. Keeping his voice to whispers, he told her, “No, nothing. It’s only you that matters.”

That, the slightest attempt of flirting Kurt managed, made her body secrete adrenaline with anticipation of how this night was going to go.

She couldn’t wait any longer.

They left home exactly at midnight. The weather was incredible outside. A perfect example for a perfect Autumn night. There was a really nice chill in the air.  Every gentle touch of wind against the face felt like a caress, and every fierce one felt like a kiss. As they walked the few paces to the car, each one wrapping an arm around the other, the two expressed how much they loved the weather.

During the ride, there was a few exchanged loving looks between them, a silent dialogue and lots of teasing smiles. Jane’s eyes, however, glowing with curiosity, were alert and searching for any clue, any possible way to know where Kurt was driving them, because he was too far stubborn to tell her anything about the surprise and she was just as stubborn to know something.

His stillness suddenly made her realize how very constantly she was sifting, blinking, breathing, and rearranging herself every three seconds, because unlike her he seldom blinked an eye, and every turn of the steering wheel or push of the pedal he made was as small and efficient as possible because he was smartly preserving his energy for later.

Jane gave in and leaned back in her seat then; it was wholly pointless, she then realized. So she resembled her husband posture and let things follow its natural course. Or the way he wanted them to.

It was thirty minutes later when Kurt parked the car at a random spot and pulled out a piece of clothing out from his pocket. Her eyes were drawn to it immediately. With a deep glow in his eyes, he looked up at her. “I’ll have to blindfold you now.” He maintained his eyes fixed on her for a long moment, and awaited her to come close enough so he would do it. Seeming amused, Jane made a faint sound and blinked once, twice in his direction, then she rolled her eyes away, grinning.

He didn’t ask again, he awaited with all smiles. And eventually, she gave in, closed her eyes and leaned her head in his direction. His fingers first pushed all the hair that was framing her face to be tucked behind her ears before he tied the rose-colored, silky blindfold around her skull.

Though blindfolded, and the curiosity sparking in her head, Jane kept still and focused on her remaining senses. There was the same breeze of the other cars from outside as before. The air was just starting to grow tense—or perhaps that was just how she felt alone. She took a deep breath that was almost audible and reminded herself that she was in the safest hands in the world.

The car had already started moving. All it seemed it was moving forward for what felt like a full minute then it took a couple turns before it paused completely. Jane turnd her head toward Kurt. “What’s now?” She asked in a low voice, just a second before she felt unexpected caresses on the base of her chinz

“Can you wait some more?” She heard him say, before which she heard the door open within the car then close. It was suddenly awe without him in the car, but thankfully it didn’t take him long to reach her in the other side of the car and open the door for her.

“Your hands, please.”

She gave him both hands and clenched his own so hard her knuckles turned red as he helped her out of the car. It’d gotten much colder by now than when they first left their apartment, but weather it had or not, she clung impossibly close to him, who wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her forward in the streets then into a place that Jane assumed was a huge building, and possibly bright.

The most significant sound Jane could hear now was her heels knocks choing against tiles, besides that there were dull and mixed sounds that could be others moving around.

“Are there people around?” Jane wondered in whispers, before which she felt Kurt warm breathing tickling her ear as he replied, “A few.” She could tell he was grinning as he did so then he asked, “Why are you intense though?”

When she turned her face to him—so she could whisper to him that she wasn’t necessarily intense, but rather feeling ridiculous walking around people while being blindfolded—her lips brushed against his, and that unexpected sensation just made her want to steal a kiss, or two from him so damn badly. But she swallowed that instant urge and put on a smiley face, because she knew it, deep down, that tonight they’d do way more than just ‘stealing a kiss’. She could picture it in her head now, as she continued to walk with him, her back against his front. She could imagine how it would possibly go and to what extent. How it’d possibly feel, before, during and afterward. Because she was more than certain that, whatever kurt had arranged for tonight must have a convenient time, place where they could do all of that.

Together, they’d been moving forward rather slowly, but at some point they paused completely and Kurt happened to be pressed against her from the front. It also got silent.  Oddly silent. Jane’s lips were a tight line as she slid her hands up his chest, over the ridge of his collarbone, close to where his heart was beating underneath the clothes. In comparison to her elevated heartbeat, his maintained a normal rhythm. She felt him lift his hands to her cheeks, cupping them. He was so close now, his warmth engulfing her entire being, which resulted in a warm smile to start appearing on her lips.

“Can you tell where are we now?” He asked softly.

“Umm, at the elevator?” She guessed, her smile growing wider.

“Right! Can you tell if we’re alone or not?”

Jane chuckled. “Definitely alone.”

She was still smiling when she felt his fingers lift her chin then him capture and kiss her lips in earnest. Even with a cloth already against her eyelids, she squeezed her eyes hard, the same way she would even if she wasn’t blindfolded, and kept on kissing him back deeper and pulling him closer.

Too soon, the elevator seemed to have stopped when Kurt gently withdrew after planting his final kiss. Catching her breath, mouth slightly open, a wave of dizziness hit Jane, having experienced that much amount of gravitational forces pull her downward simultaneously while the elevator was pulling her upward. she’d lost all her remaining senses at this point, even breathing was a little hard to manage. And so, she dug her nails into Kurt’s shoulders and held him so close as if to hold on for her life.

They stumbled out of the elevator, half-breathless and already a little disheveled.  Kurt held her hand in his and tugged her along with him, through what seemed to feel like a very, very quiet and narrow hallway. Forward they moved. Forward. Turning right. Some more forward. Then turning left.

“Kurt,” Jane called quietly, given how quiet it was so all around her, but all she heard after that was her own voice echoing—and of course the knocking of her heels against the floor as she walked some more forward.

Briefly after that, they finally paused. A sound of door was being opened. She was pulled inside then the door closed behind her. They were certainly alone by now, behind that closed door, Jane thought. Also, it got so warm, almost unbearable, given how she was moved, dragged all the way here. So she just loathed that coat she had on.

“Kurt,” she called again.

“Here,” he assured, as his hand released hers, which she never would’ve allowed it if she hadn’t been sure that he was already stepping closer toward her and then stopped, just like before at the elevator.

He began to unzip her coat and it slid easily when she shrugged it off, impatient for this part to be done since, for her, it was growing hot. The next part, he started to untie the blindfold, and she held her breath as he did so.  

“Finally,” she muttered.

Kurt’s smiley face was first thing to see. God, it hadn’t been that long and she already missed that lovely face! He stepped back and began to admire the sight of her surprised as her eyes, wide open, traveled across the place he’d gotten her into.

What must be a hotel room looked so beautifully decorated, pretty huge, and the lighting must be on the dimmest setting it could possibly be without being completely off. On very available surface there were nicely put numerous of candles, each one with a little flame flickering and dancing the way her heart was at this exact moment.

Two meters or three away from where she was standing was oversized bed that dominated a majority of space. A single lamp emitted light from the corner of the room, making it atmospherically feel warm.

When she took a deep breath, a bit overwhelmed, there was this heavy fragrance, which made her slightly turned to the side to see red, velvet roses bouquet. It was so huge. Breathtaking. Beside it there was the cake, and she could smell it too. Finally, there were the shelves filled with so many drinks, huge bottles of them in all brands and colors.

Jane jumped into his space and pressed lips together. It was one kiss but it was long, slow, and it carried so much affection within it. When she pulled back, she told him what that meant to her and thanked him repeatedly, every time came from the bottom of her heart, genuinely meant.

Kurt was quiet, unlike her. He let her express—whether it was in words or by gripping harder onto his neck—how she was feeling, and let her hot breathing tickle his face. He was so appreciative to the sight of her so happy, surprisingly blushed, and carefree. It really suited her, being this much happy. He wished if he could just quickly frim her up in this particular position and take a picture of her, so he could admire it later. But she wouldn’t simply let go of him; she was hugging him in earnest, with fluttering eyes that were framed with wet lashes by now.

“Let’s show you around.” Kurt suggested, after what felt like a full minute. She nodded with a warm smile, intertwined their fingers together, and then they stepped toward the other side of the room, where floor-to-ceiling window took place.

It wasn’t just a huge window, when they got closer to it, it was actually a balcony door. There was an invisible handle at the side and, with a good deal of effort, Kurt pulled it to be opened to the view of the whole city, New York City. From Jane’s point of view, as she stepped in the balcony along with Kurt, there were glimmering lights, bouncing dots of colors that danced and reflected and contrasted with the darkness of the night. The crowd of cars, bustling and honking in desperation to be released, free, she enjoyed watching that part. Not that anyone would ever enjoy being in the crowd itself, but it was quite appealing to her to only watch it from a cozy, high place. And sharing such a place, such a view with Kurt was just... She couldn’t ask for more or less than that. It was the meaning of perfection in her opinion.

The breeze blowing of the wind grew strong by every passing minute, but they stood still and firm, clenching in one another. Eyes sparkling in curiosity, Jane stepped some more forward and, since their hands were still entwined, Kurt stepped along with her to the far side of the balcony. Her free hand clenched on the handrail as she gracefully leaned against the wrought-iron railing and asked thoughtfully, “In which floor are we?”

“The twentieth.” He answered quickly, to which she gasped, turning her head to face him and pretended to look impressed. “Wow!”

Curling her arms around his neck with ease as he pulled her closer by the waist, she narrowed her eyes and wondered aloud, “I wonder how much this costs for one night.”

Kurt seemed to be busy studying the beauty of her features, having her this up close.

“How much?” She repeated, rather louder. This time her eyes were wide; she was seriously asking not like before just wondering.

“I’m not telling you.” He shook his head and, undeniably, there was a laugh in his voice.

“You’re not telling me!” She began, her challenging behavior making him entertained, fail to hide a grin. “You don’t need to know.”

She pretended to pout, then glanced away at the outside scene as her hair gently flow in the wind. But it wasn’t until she felt his mouth patting her ear and whispering, “I just brought you here to enjoy it.” that she looked back at him and, at the close proximity, their foreheads rubbed.  “I already am.” She whispered back.

“That’s the only thing that matters.”

They shared a long, loving look, soon followed by a smile then a soft kiss.

As if glued together, they were so close as they headed back into the room and then Kurt turned on the music.

Humming in pleasure, Jane closed her eyes at the beautiful sound of music when it covered the silence with its delightful tunes. She allowed herself to melt against his rigid frame, pressing her forehead against his chest, which just had the right amount of warmth that she was quite addictive to. Voice muffled against his chest, she whispered, “This’s nice.”

 The comment made Kurt chuckle softly, not that there was anything funny about it, but it was just a way through which he could express the great pleasure he was experiencing at the moment. And just like him, Jane chuckled softly for the same reason before pulling a little back, only to see his smile creep onto her face.

She tucked that smile into her memory and, smiling back, she tucked her fingers between his own. He squeezed hers in return and possessively slid a hand about the sharp curve of her waist as her free hand rested with a feather-like weight on his shoulder.

Beautiful, beautiful, no other name

I knew from the moment you came

I've seen in your eyes the dawn of a day

Where nothing will ever be the same

And now, they were dancing together, swaying in slow motions as the music spun around them. Everything seemed perfectly going, from the mutual feeling between them to their movements that stayed in sync: when he stepped right, she stepped right. When he stepped forward, she stepped backward. But when he gave her some space and stepped backward and simultaneously lifted their entwined hands, she spun around in an elegant, slow movement, her body resembling the tune to the music. There was a sort of possession, aggressiveness in the way he pulled her back to him after having spun that made her gasp faintly. But then, as a reaction, she bit her lip and looked down at the small space between them, mind recording every fraction of the moment, taking mental images, and most importantly enjoying every emotional sensation.  

Feel my heart beating through my chest

I'll get used to just saying "yes"

Yes, I'll love you with all I am

Yes, tonight is where we begin...

His lips were pressed against her forehead for a long moment as they continued to dance in the same way, which was a demonstration to their love for each other. Their real, mutual, simple yet deep love.

Oh, I wanna dance with you

Oh, I'll promise to stand for you

I'll do anything for you

Oh yeah, oh yeah

Tonight, my love all I want

I wanna sing for you

Yeah, I'll sing for you

Happy birthday, baby

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, baby

Happy birthday to you...

The music lasted for more or less five minutes, and when it was starting to fade away, reaching its end, Kurt improvised and, as though she were the center of the universe, he spun around her just the same.

Both fell into soft laughters afterward, before Jane snuck her hands up to his neck and hugged him tightly, and he returned the hug just as tightly. Silence fell again, that pleasant, comforting kind of silent. And so, they lingered in such a position for a moment, neither willing to break apart.

The next moment, Jane hardly detangled herself from his grip then looked over his shoulder, where the all bottles of drinks were nicely settled, and then back at him with a knowing look. Kurt, with no troubles, took the cue and, from his pocket he pulled out the same rose-colored blindfold, raised his chin in pride, then asked her to turn around first, his voice rich and husky.

 Surprised Jane raised a brow in response. “Again!”

“Again.”

 She rolled her eyes. “You brought me here, to this beautiful place, so you blindfold me!”

“You know," Kurt gripped her shoulders and turned her around himself, and just like the previous time, he tightened the blindfold around her skull as he explained, “I’ve read a quote, just recently, that says something like, the best and most beautiful things in the world aren’t necessarily seen, nor even touched, but rather felt with the heart.” He then turned her around so she was facing him and he added, “I want you to see if that’s really true or not, okay?”

“But I can’t see.” She joked, to which Kurt grinned widely, and simultaneously she matched him with a very similar grin, although she couldn’t see him by now. She could hear it nonetheless.

“You just have to feel.”

 With that being said, Jane nodded in acknowledgment, her shoulders relaxed and jaw unclench. Kurt cupped her face into his hands and brought it impossibly close to his own that their lips were touching. “Now, how about some drinks?”

Jane, having been craving that, gave a frim shake of her head. “Yes please! I’m quite thirsty.” She whispered against his mouth, before stealing a wet kiss then another from him.

kissing her back, harder that her head went back, Kurt slid his both hands down from her face to her back and then her hips. He kept roaming his hands all over there in earnest, which felt so damn good. Every curve in her unyielding body that his hands passed by filled in the depths of his pleasure. Just like that, and he was so turned on at this point.

But no matter how he was kissing her almost violently and nipping at her lips, blindfolded Jane was exploring his mouth, tasting him, and licking up every honey-like drop from his lips. Her arms flew all the way up to be wrapped around his neck when she felt her body being held with ease as if she were weightless, lifted, and then sat upon a table.

Panting, unwittingly chuckling, he asked, “Okay, what shall I get you, birthday girl?”

“Dazzle me,” Jane smirked, with an exhaled chuckle lacing through her spoken words.  His finger patted her chin before it drew, and then, there was a sense of more empty space around her. He wasn’t in her hand reach now, which made her take a deep breath and await him and the drinks with impatience.

 Kurt wasn’t actually that far away from her as he began to prepare a Daiquiri cocktail that contained rum, freshly squeezed lime juice, and sugar syrup. He shook all that together before pouring it into a nice coupette glass then walked back the few paces toward her in pride.

“Hey,” she welcomed him as he approached, feeling his warmth already with a hand in the air to catch him. And he took it, her hand, and replaced it on the glass instead. "Here. Don't be shy to disappoint me." He warned.

After a short sip, a content hum spoke genuinely even before her words did. “Impressive! Not too sharp, not too light and sugary. I love it! Thanks.” She was grinning as she said it, her voice in the sexiest tone. Feeling his palms widespread over her thighs, she raised the glass then took several small sips, knowing that his eyes were fixed on her.

 “Glad you liked it.” He said, his own mouth dry, but he did not care to do anything about, not this moment; he was busy staring at her unblinkingly, admiring her and every movement she made, from sipping to swallowing down. Her eyes would’ve been squinting and looking right into his and admiring him just the same way, Kurt thought, if that was an option right now.

Forcefully swallowing the stinging sensation down, after pouring down the last sip, Jane lifted the now empty glass between them in a gesture for a refill, which had Kurt notice the perfect impression of her hot, red lipstick on the glass and he just... admired that too.

“Is it that good?” He asked, after taking the glass.

“So good, haven’t you tasted it?”

“No.”

A smirk pulled at one side of her mouth. “Come here,” she told him, bringing him closer with an arm around his neck at the same time that she opened her mouth to the fullest and took over his own. Her tasty, wet tongue had entered his mouth in ease by now, where it hungrily intertwined with his like a young snake messing with another young snake.

Tasting all that incredible mixture in her sweet, hot tongue, Kurt was also rewarded when her hand ran through his hair for a bit before she pulled him back. “Umm, so luscious,” he breathed.

 “I want some more.” She requested with a smile. And so he went to bring her some more. As she waited, there were sounds of a glass clinking  another surface and liquid being poured into into it in generous manner. Lastly, there were his easy footsteps approaching, soon followed by the feeling of his warmth. Welcoming him back, she expanded an arm up in the air and when he finally was close to touch, she gripped him so close.

“Let me,” he whispered, and she allowed, so he lifted the glass to her plush lips for slow sips. She enjoyed every sip was poured into her mouth and he enjoyed every second that passed at the sight of her cheeks go rosier from the booze.

And so, she parted her lips once more, on an assumption that another sweet sip would be in its way inside her mouth, only to feel the iced liquid running all over her neck, her chest, to which she gasped, recoiled back, and heard Kurt rushing to say sorry.

“Kurt,”

She pushed him back and was so close to standing on her feet and taking the damn blindfold off when he held her hands still in place. “It’s okay, nothing happened,” he soothed, “I’m sorry it spilled out. Now we just have to take your dress off; it’s all damp and cold.”

Mouth parted, she shivered a little before nodding. “You did it, didn’t you, Kurt?” She claimed him, at which he mischievously grinned as he helped her stand up on her feet. “What?” He pretended to sound busy, slipping down the zipper of her dress from the back then, with an effort he made, begun to lift it all the way up. She rose her arms without needing to be asked. As soon as the collar was clear of her head she was already ditching her heels out of the way, with a hand upon his shoulder for support.

He was gone after that and Jane, naked only saved for a pair of underwear, stood there in what felt like a vacant space in absolute darkness behind the blindfold, hands empty at her sides. “I know you spilled it over me, Kurt.” She pretended to complain, also aware that her voice had a touch of relief at having been freed from that tight dress. Now the direct contact between her skin and the air felt nice, but what would feel even nicer was his touch against her skin.

“Are you gonna hate me for that?” She heard him say from a decent distance, then heard a breath that might be a laugh. “Not if you you come right here right now.” was her condition.

He was trying to frustrate her, she knew. It wasn’t in him to do such things, but the day was full of surprises. He’d ruined her dress already, spilled the drink all over her when she’d least expected it, and now God only knew what he was doing.

But even though she wasn’t seeing him, she was able to hear his breathing, hard, out of his nose like an animal. She could also feel his gaze hot on her from head to toe, which made her covered in a thin sheen of sweat all over her chest and between her thighs, the sparking center of her desire. That was all because of her insides, being boiled from stress, from arousal, and from anticipation.

She could, of course, end all of that with the tip of her finger either pull the blindfold down to hang around her neck, or up and then toss it in the air. And, having waited long enough, she threatened him to do so, “You know that I can take this off with the tip of my finger, right?” She supported her threatening words by pointing an index finger at the piece of cloth over her eyes.

Just then he finally surfaced. “Don’t. I’m right here.” Said Kurt, finally approaching her from the back then reached out, wrapping his arms around her middle very, very strongly that she really didn’t need to use her feet anymore, and melted against him, her head falling back, when his lips met her ear. She twisted her neck so her lips could kiss wherever she could reach in the given position, while desperately shrinking a hand then snuck it between their bodies. But he gathered her both hands quickly, that were only seconds away from undoing his belt, then lifted them up and kissed and patted them.

 “Kurt...” she hissed, and her disapproval was very, very obvious by the tone of her voice. “Enough with the teasing, Kurt.” She begged him, who continued to kiss her hands, which by now were wrestling his grip. He retaliated by hauling her against him in a loving way. “There’s one one thing before that.” He tried to assure.

“What?” She breathed, from both her mouth and nose.

He revealed her eyes, lowering the blindfold so it was hanging around her neck as he clumsily walked her forward, his front to her back. He hooked his chin over her shoulder and, because of how heavy he was leaning against her back, she had to brace her hands against the table they reached that had the cake upon it.

It wasn’t large, the cake, but it really didn’t need to be. After all, it was just the both of them tonight. There would be a larger party for Jane with their friends later this weekend. But today, Jane was booked for him. And only him.

So he started lighting the candles on the cake, one arm doing so while the other still hugging her by the waist so firmly, then he said, his warm breathing tickling her ear, “I got you this cake from the same store we got our wedding cake, remember? and it’s the same exact recipe. You seemed to have loved it so much back then, so I thought I should get you the same.”

He tilted his head then, so he could see her reaction: she was stunned, eyes fluttering and face awash with emotions. Her makeup and hair that had looked gorgeous once, now looked out of place. “Yeah, I loved it.” She mumbled.

“Make a wish,” he encouraged.

“Should it be out loud?” She asked, twisting her neck so she could meet his face.

“Not necessarily,” he smiled, and then she turned both her head and attention back at the cake ahead of her. The thin candles planted at the top with mini flames dancing made her heart warm, and so she made a wish, within the bottom of her heart.

I want this to last.

She’d meant a lot by just saying this. And then, as if she were going to dive into the ocean, she drew in a deep breath then blew it out until all the candles went off, at which she grinned in absolute happiness then was rewarded with a genuine kiss over her cheek.

 “Happy birthday, love.”

She closed her eyes, inhaling this moment in particular. “Thank you,” she whispered as she once more twisted her neck and kissed him one, deep, long kiss.

“Now comes the taste test. See if this still tastes like our wedding day or not.” He eased one hand from her waist, replaced it over hers, and both their hands held the knife. Together, they cut the cake into half, their hands steady and their faces awash of happiness.

Kurt gripped a fork and with it he took a forkful of the cake, then straight up to her mouth. He waited just a second before asking, “Is it good? Is it the same?” which made Jane fight between chewing the chunk of cake and laughing at his impatience. But then she brought a hand up to her lips and laughed and chewed and shook her head yes all at once.

Her taste bud felt like it just went to a wonderland. In other words: the cake tasted amazing, so nostalgic, and just the same as their wedding day. When she had just barely swallowed that down, she was rewarded with another forkful of cake that she accepted. “The cream is just so good.” She told him as she turned her face to face him, humming happily and chewing.

“Really?”

She hummed some more, shaking her head yes, to which he brought up a forkful of the vanilla cream to her mouth, only to pull it away from her mouth reach the second she tried to take it in.

He laughed.

She frowned.

He then again offered the same fork up close to her mouth, which she rejected it this time around.

“I thought you loved the the cream!”

“I don’t want it anymore.”

“Are you sure you don’t want it?”

“Yes Kurt and you know what I want now.”

“Okay, I’ll have it then, just after I put this back because you no longer need to see things, right?” He’d covered her eyes again by now, to which she said nothing and stayed still.

The following seconds, she felt a strong contrast sensation between the coolness of the cream over her chest—being applied there—and the warmth of Kurt’s tongue licking it all over there. Moan out loud at the sensation was all she could do, and feel like falling down from pleasure was all she felt before she was caught close to his body, lifted, and laid upon the bed in matters of seconds. 

Then he was everywhere. She felt him everywhere all at once. Stroking, kissing. His fingers tugging at the remaining the underwear she still had on until he stripped them off. His mouth wet and sucking over her. Nipping teeth. Hoarsely voiced words of love and praise.

He tore his lips from hers then pulled back for a bit, during which she breathed heavily, still feeling the staying power of his kisses and strokes all over her body. And before long, she felt him lift the blindfold and toss it aside.

Wide-eyed, Jane stared at him in appropriation: he was so charming, fully naked. For all her impatience earlier, though, she didn’t seem to rushe now. She brought him closer that theirs lashes brushed against each other yet their eyes maintained opened to the fullest as she brushed away what she could from the sweat building up all over his back with her palms.

“Have you concluded, if it is true or not? What I have told you earlier.” Kurt only intended to keep his voice quiet, but it emerged so, so soft.

She swallowed, her hand making its very obvious way to the length of him. “I don’t think...I don’t think it’s true.” She managed to say, as she guided him to the inside of her warmth. The two muffed their moans by joining their mouth together before Jane grinned, gasped as it got intense, the sensation, then breathed out. “It might be true, though...for me, touching and...looking at you like this feels so good...So damn good.”

Kurt grinned then kissed her in the neck, allowing her to catch her breath before he settled on the right position to take her in.

“You impressed me a lot today—breathing—come on, impress me some more.” She mumbled in encouragement, and he laced his fingers through hers, pinned them against the pillow, then began doing his magic on her.

Briefly after this round followed by another, the two were bathed in sweat, lying down impossibly close to each other on top of perfectly made bed that had every corner of its blanket still fitted in the right place. But when they gained some strength back, they rose and talked for whatever had reminded of the night, pressing kisses or throwing light punches every now and then.

 They talked dirty, lovingly, and everything in between. Among the talking, Jane cupped Kurt’s face with a smirk in her face and threatened him, “When your birthday comes, I’ll whip your back as my gift for you and you won’t say anything about it.”

“Will you remember my Birthday when it comes?”

“I will! Just because mine slipped my mind doesn’t mean yours will.”

“Will see about that.”

Even after two in the morning, they refused to go to sleep. Instead, they poured some more alcohol and drunk it together as though they were opponents in a contest, who would drink more and do it faster.

As for the present time, Jane smiles as these memories of last night start to surface. Next she pulls off the blanket, and just when she’s making progress to get up, she collapses back against the mattress with a groan. Her head is heavy like a rock. Tense. It almost feels like there’s an iron ring tightening around her skull, to which grimaces, realizing what a serious hangover she is going to have for the next few hours.

Bringing her fingers up to her temples and massages it there while inhaling every bit of air her lungs could take in. She wonders what time it is. It must be late-morning or noon, she guessed and continued massaging her temples, and did that for a while, closing her eyes in the process.

When she feels the slightest progress, she wraps herself with a robe, gets out of bed, and goes straight to the far wall, where she draws the curtains and open the door to the balcony.

It’s a refreshing morning, and the room is in desperate need of fresh air. It also is chilly outside, but not what you would call cold. She can smell Fall in the air, and she loves that feeling so much.

The sunlight streams in and the curtains rustle in the breeze. Behind her back, she begins to feel of heat coming—that heat must be coming from another body. She then turns around and, without even looking into his face, she presses her entire being against him in a generous hug.

“Do you feel the same way I feel right now?” He asks with a chuckle, his mouth against the top her head as she shakes it yes. “Yeah, but it’s definitely worth it for me. How about you?”

He only chuckles some more.

[angelbaugh-writes]

Game Night {Steve Rogers x Reader}

Request: could you uhm 😳😳 do dialogue prompt 10 with steve tysm ily

Warnings: maybe a few curse words, implications of sexy times

Author’s Note: I hope you guys like this! It ended up a little longer than anticipated. Please show it some love. Thank you so so much for reading. I love you all! Xox Angel Baugh

     Your life purpose was to fluster Steve Rogers until he broke. Flirting with Captain America started by accident, but it quickly became your favorite thing to do. Between the cheesy pick-up lines and suggestive comments, Steve’s face would turn bright red. What got to him most was the less-than-holy touches you started doing. It’s not that you did anything risque, the farthest you’ve gone was scoot past him in a very tight place, but he knew that your lingering touches had a deeper meaning behind them.

     But Steve Rogers still couldn’t get the hint that you were interested. It frustrated you to no end. You couldn’t just sit him down and tell him you were madly in love with him. How well would that go? Sure, the worst that could happen would be that Steve rejects you. You would know that it was time to get over him, but that would also end in humiliation. He would tell Bucky or Sam. Sam would spread the embarrassing let down to the whole team and then some. That man could not keep a secret to save his life. The only option was to not tell Steve until you were sure of his feelings. You just had to hope that you wouldn’t out yourself before that.

***

     The sun was just rising when you woke up. It was the start to a -hopefully mission free- weekend. Although there was no reason you should be waking up so early on a Saturday, it had become a habit to spend the quiet time talking with whoever else was awake. 

     ”Good morning, Sweet Cheeks,” you greeted Steve as you entered the kitchen. You made sure to say hello to Sam and Bucky as well.

     “Morning, Y/N. I poured you a cup of coffee just like you like it.” You smiled at the blond, thanking him before picking up the mug that sat next to his. 

     Sam feigned hurt, “Buck, why doesn’t Stevie make our coffee? When I asked him to he said no.”

     “Yeah, that’s a dick move. Maybe if we seduce ‘im like Y/N does, we’ll be able to convince him to do whatever we want!”

     You jumped up to sit on the counter next to where Steve was standing. You watched as the grown men in front of you dramatically told each other what they would make the man next to you do.

     “Do you think they’ll notice if we sneak off,” you whispered. He let out a small chuckle.

     “I think we could start kissing and they wouldn’t even look our way.”

     You smirked, “Want to try out that theory?” Steve shook his head, a small smile adorning his lips as he took a sip of his coffee. “Fine, then. You can make it up to me by being my partner at tonight’s game night.”

     “I was going to be your partner either way. Neither of these goons are helpful. Unlike them, we’re a force to be reckoned with.” He lifted his mug towards yours, offering a cheers. You obliged.

     A buzz from your phone pulled you from your conversation. Natasha had sent you a text requesting your company in the training room. You sighed.

     “I’m sorry, my love, but I must go. Until tonight?” you spoke dramatically. “I’ll think about you every moment until I see you again.”

    “Okay, Y/N. I’ll see you later,” Steve chuckled.

***

     You rummaged through your desk. You could not find the damn thing you were looking for. The game night was starting in ten minutes, and Tony hated it when anybody was late. There was no time for this. A gasp left your mouth as you finally felt the familiar thread. It took you three minutes to run to the living room. After tripping more times than you’d like to admit, you finally slid into the already crowded room. 

     “I’m here! Suck it, Tony!” you spoke excitedly. 

     “It took you long enough.” Shaking your head, you made your way to sit on the arm of the chair Steve was sitting in.

     Natasha rolled her eyes, “No need to get angry already. So what’s the game for the night?”

     “I am glad you asked.” Tony stood up as he spoke. “I came to the conclusion that Monopoly and Poker can only be so fun for some of us. So I took it upon myself to get a new card game for the team game nights.”

     “Get on with it already,” Sam interrupted.

     “I’m getting there. After scouring the web, I found a game perfect enough to get the old men more acquainted to today’s culture. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce Cards Against Humanity to the team.” Tony held up the box proudly. You shook your head at his dramatic antics. “Like usual game night, You can be in pairs or by yourself. I’m pretending that somebody other than Steve and Y/N is going to want to work together. The first to ten points wins. Let’s play ball!”

     You turned to Steve as the cards were dealt and everyone got situated, “I brought us good luck charms.” The friendship bracelets were black. A small, four-leaf clover charm was positioned in the middle of each. Steve couldn’t stop from smiling.

     “You are such a dork,” he spoke, allowing you to tie the bracelet on his wrist.

     “You love it. Besides, you’d be losing every game night if it wasn’t for me.”

     “I can’t say you’re wrong.”

     The game was full of laughter and disgusted faces from Steve, who would occasionally have to ask you what one of your cards meant. His face would turn a cherry red when you whispered the licentious answer in his ear, mumbling a timid ‘oh’ in response. Natasha was winning so far, with you and Steve close behind. 

     “I vote we take an intermission,” Bruce said, “I need a break for snacks.”

     “I second that. I’ve needed to pee since four rounds in,” Sam exclaimed before rushing out of the room.

     The room dispersed as everyone went their own ways for the time being. You stood up and stretched. Turning, you reached your hand out to Steve to help him out of the chair.

     “This game is...fun?” he laughed. Your heart fluttered at the sound.

     “I could think of a few other fun things we could do. We’d just have to go to my room to do it,” you flirted with ease. “I’m sure Sam would love to take our point for us while we sneak off.”

     “Oh, really? Care to elaborate?” So he was going to play along now?

     You leaned in closer to him, your lips barely grazing his ear, “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about, Captain. I’ve told you plenty of information tonight that we could work with.”

     “Which on do you plan to start with?” With that, your facade broke. Steve never flirted back like this. He smirked down at you, “Cat got your tongue, doll?”

     “Date me, coward,” you couldn’t stop the words spilling out of your mouth. “I’ve been flirting with you for months, and I don’t think you quite understand that I’m in love with you. Just fucking ask me out already before I implode. Please don’t talk to me like that if you don’t mean it.” 

     Now the secret’s out. Your face heats up as the realization dawns on you. 

    “Are you free tomorrow night, then?”

    “Pardon?” your brows furrowed in confusion.

     “I’d like to take you on a date. Is that okay, love?”

    You smiled, “That’s more than okay.”

     “Game time!” Tony yelled as he walked into the room.

     You frowned, “I never got a snack, though.”

     “You should’ve thought about that before you and Cap decided to smooch while everyone was out of the room.” You rolled your eyes at him, flipping him off in the process.

     Everyone returned to their spots quickly. You took your seat on the arm of the chair, but Steve pulled you down onto his lap. A gasp fell from your lips. His arm wrapped around your waist as you lean into him. Game night became a little bit better.

[ahgaseda]

two can keep a secret || chapter 03

⇥ synopsis : when your father reveals his intention to remarry, you find an unlikely confidant in Mark, your soon-to-be stepbrother, but what began as a revenge fling ironically becomes far more complicated...

⇥ warnings : this story in its entirety includes but is not limited to strong language and dialogue, recurring alcohol and drug use, and explicit sexual content, and is intended for an adult audience only!

The bass made your ears pound. You took another sip from your red cup and let a long, exasperated breath pass through your nose. To say you were bored would be a massive understatement.

Mark was in another room somewhere, blazing it up. Your best friend had yet to show up and you were suddenly reevaluating all of your priorities in life, courtesy of the alcohol.

The fall semester would start soon and you still had no earthly clue of what to major in. For the time being, you tried a different variation of courses, hoping one would tickle your fancy. Thus far, you skated through them all like a perpetually sleep-deprived zombie.

Mark appeared, quite literally in a cloud of smoke, and whispered, “Hey, sexy.”

“Dance with me,” you blurted, glancing past him at the horde of bodies grinding to the music.

Mark snorted. “I can’t be caught dancing with my soon-to-be sister.”

He had a point. Disgruntled, you chugged a mouthful of your drink and grumbled, “The stepsister you fuck on the regular?”

“On the down low,” Mark reminded, almost inaudibly.

“Fine. Fuck off,” you snapped, pushing his chest to get him out of your space. “I don’t need you to have fun.”

Mark cocked an eyebrow, amused by your tipsy rhetoric. “Oh, really?”

You bobbed your head. “Any one of these guys would be delighted to date me.”

“All of these guys just wanna get in your pants,” Mark deadpanned. There was an edge to his voice, sharp like a razor. Though he had no right to be, Mark was territorial of your body and he was not the least bit inclined to let another man try to pleasure you.

Scowling, you hissed, “You are a pain in my ass.”

Mark crept closer and teased, “Just say the word and I’ll fuck that hole, too.”

“I hate you.”

“Sure you do.”

Of course you didn’t, but you were still bored as hell and the banter with your almost stepbrother was the most entertainment you'd had at this damned party. Pay attention to me, was what you wanted to say. In the most childish, obnoxious way possible. Vodka was not your friend, you realized.

“Maybe I should play the field,” you said, shrugging before coming in for the kill. “Since my regular dick appointment only dicks me down in our parents' house as some kind of twisted, spiteful…”

Mark put a hand over your mouth and warned, “Don’t fucking try me.”

You blinked in surprise.

Mark let his palm fall from your lips, the sight of them overwhelmingly inviting. Clearing his throat, Mark dismissed himself before he kissed you in front of everyone and murmured, “I’m gonna go find a drink.”

“Yeah, you do that,” you sneered, watching him go.

Despite how much you ran your mouth, you weren’t an idiot. Neither was Mark. The two of you knew exactly how this game was played and you had unwittingly became professionals in the art of keeping such a deadly secret.

However, you weren’t immune to alcohol’s ability to remove all inhibitions.

Crossing the room, you approached the host of the bash and exclaimed, “Jackson, be a good wingman and point me in the direction of the boy with the biggest dick.”

Jackson lifted a brow and retorted, “I’m right here, sunshine.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t tempt me.”

“Alright, here we go,” Jackson said, taking your hand and leading you at his side. “Gotta keep the hoes well-fed.”

You were in desperate need of someone to keep you entertained. Your alcohol-hazed mind was fixated on smacking you across the face for having no ideas for your future. The last thing you wanted to do was rehash your failures as a young adult, but the more you tried to ignore the internal chastisements, the more your brain decided to think about your father and his upcoming marriage.

Which you hated even more than yourself.

Jackson brought you to the most stereotypical frat guy you could have ever imagined and made quick work of introductions. “This is Chris. You’re both horny and hot. Enjoy.”

You chortled.

At the other end of the room, Mark put the drink to his lips and took a big gulp, watching you intently over the rim of his cup. He did his best to rationalize his irritation. It didn’t hurt for you to talk to some dude at a party. Talking was harmless.

You laughed and Mark bristled. He loved making you laugh. Your reaction to whatever Chris had said obviously gave him confidence, because he moved even closer to you and you didn’t back away.

Mark angled in the other direction. You’re a fucking idiot, he told himself, but his anger was blowing his high. He wanted to freely be with you in front of everyone. Secrets were hard and not his forte. Mark was honest to a fault and struggled to hide how he felt.

Though he wasn’t looking, Mark could hear your laugh again and he stomped away, in search of fresh air.

You saw him leave and your heart sank. Mark’s presence always put you at ease. Though your relationship was far from healthy, by most conventional standards, you were the first to admit you had forged an unshakable bond with your soon-to-be stepbrother.

Without him hovering nearby, you felt vulnerable and alone.

Chris took initiative and crept even closer, wrapping an arm around your waist. At first, you didn’t mind. The gesture didn’t make you uncomfortable.

But when his hand drifted downward and squeezed your ass, you were quick to push him away. “I don’t remember giving you permission to touch me.”

Chris whined, “Don’t be such a bitch. We’re vibing, aren’t we?”

You couldn’t believe your eyes when his arm encircled your waist and tugged you back into his grasp, but you were quick to snap, “Not enough for you to grope me. Get off.”

Chris was much stronger than you and had no intention of letting go of your body. You struggled against him for all of five seconds when someone appeared at your side and shoved Chris against the wall.

“Get your hands off her or I will break your fucking neck,” Mark threatened, crowding into his face.

You grabbed his arm and whispered, “Mark...”

Mark had a temper and a penchant for throwing fists instead of words. You knew he carried enough rage and pain inside him that there were times some of it had to come out or he would explode.

But physical altercations were extremely illegal.

“Geez, man. Don’t cock block me,” Chris exclaimed, as if he was the victim in this scenario. “She’s not your real sister.”

Mark rounded on him again and you knew your grip on his arm would not dissuade Mark from beating the shit out of this guy if he so desired. “She’s way out of your league and doesn’t want a douche like you touching her. Back the fuck off,” Mark warned for the last time.

Chris must have sensed that Mark was on the verge of breaking his face and he finally surrendered, holding up his hands. “Alright, alright. For fuck’s sake, man.”

Mark didn’t take his eyes off of him until Chris was out of sight. Meanwhile, your gaze was glued to Mark and how safe and protected he made you feel.

“Mark,” you called softly.

Mark finally looked at you, his expression full of annoyance. “Try to stay out of trouble, will you?”

You shook your head in dissension. “Take me upstairs now.”

Mark’s brow furrowed. “Why?”

“You know why.”

Mark knew that tone anywhere. He had become quite the expert since the first time he was between your legs. With a smirk, he tilted his head toward the nearby stairs and you followed him without a second thought.

The first room he tried was locked and by the sounds coming from inside, babies were being made rather loudly. You giggled in amusement as Mark pulled you with him down the hallway, trying the next door and finding it open.

Mark dragged you inside and the moment he had shut and locked the door behind you both, you spun into his arms and pushed him against the wall, smashing your lips on his.

“I made you wet, huh?” Mark growled against your mouth, smirking darkly.

You moaned his name when you felt his hands roaming over your hips then grabbing your ass. Before you could reply, Mark lifted you into the air, guiding your legs around his waist.

He propped you on the dresser and hiked up your miniskirt. You tangled your arms through his, unbuckling his belt and fiddling at the zipper on his jeans. Mark parted from your kisses only momentarily to yank the panties down your legs, stuffing them in his back pocket before pushing down his pants.

Your eyes locked with his as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and felt him pushing inside you. Mark let out a shaky breath on your lips, coaxing himself deep into your cunt.

“Fuck, Mark,” you whimpered, your head falling back and resting against the wall. You set your nails to his shoulders and grit your teeth when he finally started thrusting, jostling you harshly on the dresser.

Mark grunted and nipped at your lips, stealing back your attention. “Mm, this pussy stays so tight for me.”

His voice made you shiver and you were quick to croon, “Only you, baby.”

“Look at me,” Mark said sternly, slowing down.

You stared into his dark eyes, mouth parted in pleasure.

Mark grabbed your jaw none too gently and whispered, “If you fuck another guy, I think I’d have to kill him…”

You gaped at him, lost for words, though your cunt gripped him tightly with arousal. Mark raked his tongue over his teeth, pleased at the look on your face, and cast his gaze down to watch where your bodies connected - watching you accept him deep, every inch of his cock disappearing inside your wet pussy.

This was why you could never give Mark grief over his bad habits. You were as much an addict as he was, and he was your drug. From the first time you were in his arms, on your back in his car as he kissed you with abandon, you knew you were fucked.

There was a spark; a concept you always snorted at, because something couldn’t possibly exist. Hell, your mother and father had a love for the ages, or so you thought. Then you saw how easily your father moved on and you realized you were a fool. Love was stupid, hollow and you’d be damned if you ever let yourself experience it.

No, you knew exactly what the spark between you and Mark was; lust, pure and simple. Driven by anger and fueled by the forbidden nature of your relationship. There would never be such unadulterated passion and pleasure between you if there wasn’t such a dark motive behind the sex. Right?

A moan escaped you, tearing you from your reverie. Mark pounded you against the wall, his sounds of ecstasy filling your ears. Every smack of his hips drove away your thoughts, made you forget your bitterness and grief. You tucked your face in the crook of his neck, clinging to him for dear life as Mark brought you to the edge of your release. Physical, emotional; all of it.

The bass thrummed through the walls, syncing to the pulse between your legs. When the music swelled, Mark fucked you to orgasm, swallowing your screams of his name with the most heady of caresses of his tongue between your teeth.

When he shook and swore, you cradled his face in your hands and kissed the corner of his mouth, flexing your legs to grip your velvet walls around his sensitive cock. He hissed through his teeth, a trembling moan your reward.

“As long as I have you,” you whispered when he had finally become still, though he stayed deep within you. “I’ll never fuck another man.”

Though you didn’t demand he do the same, Mark pressed his lips to yours, a searing wet seal of a promise with his words. “All I need is you, baby…”

chapter 02 ⇤ chapter 03 ⇥ chapter 04

Hey there, beautiful! If you enjoyed this, please leave a like or reblog or follow me! Or maybe buy me a coffee so I can keep writing? Or check out my masterlist here for more stories! Thanks for reading :) - Katya

This work is fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but is licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.

{ copyright 2018-2020 © ahgaseda // all rights reserved }

[marauder-level-chaos]

Mr. Right...ish Ch. One

Ah yes, I never get tired of writing malec fics so here is another one. Alec is a pilot because that’s sexy. Basically Magnus and Alec meet accidentally and then they keep meeting and maybe they both have some secrets. Point of view shifts between Magnus and Alec. This was originally going to be a one shot but I may have a malec addiction so now it's multi parts. Oops? Anyway, here is the masterlist. Also Magnus drooling over pilot Alec is a mood because Alec is really hot, ok? Anywhooo let’s go.

Warnings: swearing, gay fluff, magnus being magnus, some suggestive dialogue, some sizzy

It was no surprise that Alexander Lightwood had become a pilot. He hailed from a family of very well trained pilots. It was in his blood. Not to say he didn’t enjoy this life, because he did. He was 16 when he decided this is what he wanted to do. By 19, he had his license. Yet, he felt something was missing from his life. Something felt incomplete. Isabelle, his 21 year old sister, had moved away to London to pursue a career in fashion designing. As much as he hated to admit it, he was a little jealous of her life. Despite being a whole two years younger to him, she had never felt the emptiness that he did. She always said it was because she had Simon. Simon was her long term live-in boyfriend whose obsession with star wars was a little unsettling. But maybe that’s what Alec needed. Somebody to come home to. He had never been able to find the right girl for himself. It wasn’t until he was 22 that he realised that it was because he had never been interested in girls to begin with. Yes, Alec was 22 when he realised that he was gay. He hadn’t been able to tell anyone except Izzy, who claimed that she had known this right from the start. She had been trying to help him find the Mr. Right of his life, but so far they had had no such luck.

Anyway, Alec was on his way to London and he was going to drop by Izzy’s studio as a surprise. It was hardly a surprise anymore. He did this every time he had a flight going to London. He loved her and he missed her. The last time he spoke to her, she told him that she had a big project that she was working on and that she had some big news to share. Alec packed his bags as quickly as he possibly could and made his way to the airport. The flight from New York to London wasn’t very long so he only had to wait about six hours to see his baby sister. Less if the winds were in his favor today.

His phone rang just as he was running to catch his flight. He must not have been paying attention because as he fumbled through the pockets of his uniform to retrieve it, he crashed right into somebody. As Alec bent down to pick up the things he had dropped, he caught a glimpse of the strangers beautiful golden eyes. In that moment, Alec felt something, something new. Shaking his head, he mumbled a quick apology and continued on his way, but he could not get that face out of his mind. If only Alec had taken down a name before the man left.

***

Magnus Bane was starting his new job next week and he couldn’t be more excited. He had recently signed a contract with a modeling agency and his first assignment was in London. Magnus had always been a little indecisive about his choices, so when he found his calling a model, he was thrilled. He knew that being a model would require him to travel extensively, but then again, Magnus had never been one to settle anywhere for too long in the first place. Despite trying his best, he hadn’t been able to commit himself to a place or a person. In the last three years, Magnus had been with more women than he cared to remember. Yes, Magnus was bisexual, but he hadn’t dated a man in a very long time. Not since William Heronadale, but that is a story for another time. Perhaps his decision to not date men was for the best. It still didn’t explain why all these women had left him heartbroken over and over. Sure, the casual sex was amazing but Magnus knew he needed more than that. He took a deep breath and put all these worries behind himself. London was a new start. Maybe he’d finally find his soulmate there.

New York traffic can really be a bitch. Magnus was already quite late by the time he got to the airport. He was really lucky that the flight had gotten delayed or he may not have made it to London after all. He gathered all of his stuff and began running toward his flight, glancing at his watch every so often. In all this haste, Magnus knocked over a pilot. A very hot pilot, to be precise. Time seemed to slow down for Mr. Bane as he gazed intently into the pilot’s deep blue eyes. Looking at this man, something unlocked inside Magnus. Something he hadn’t felt before. If only Magnus had taken down a name before the young man left.

Taglist (Let me know if anyone wants to be added or removed):

@quickbright @plaggherondale @thatwinchestergirl67 @tolkienlockian @literally-magnus-bane @alfredhoe420

[hereisisa]

I’ve reading a lot about queer coding lately and I’ve found this beatiful dissertation written by Leila Matte-Kaci:

“Thawing the snow queer: queer readings of Frozen’s Elsa”

It’s obviosly about Elsa of Frozen and queer coding.

You can read it there, (and trust me it’s worth reading), but if you don’t have time I’ve made a recap of the strictly-Elsa facts here. All credit goes to Leila Matte-Kaci.

First things first. What is the “queer reading”?

Queer reading: “a way of understanding a text without heteronormative assumptions”.

The queer reading of Frozen will tell us Queen Elsa is a lesbian, and here’s why.

1. She’s a Monster 2. She’s a Femme 3. She’s victim of queer melancholy (longing for acceptance) 4. Her “coming out” story 5. Her looks and sexual awakening 6. Anna.

Now let’s analyze every statement.

Elsa is a monster

 She is a witch.

More specifically, she is understood to be a witch as the dialogue makes clear: “Sorcery!” - “a wicked sorceress”. In being named so, Elsa “is therefore connected to centuries-long Western cultural associations between witchcraft and lesbianism” (Doty, 2000, p.59).

Consequently, the witch having been especially associated with the image of the lesbian, Elsa’s link to the character type further reinforces the connection between her monstrosity and queerness.

Like the monster, Elsa’s powers are also understood to be dangerous and wrong, and something which she must keep hidden.

The lyrics “Conceal, don’t feel, put on a show, - Make one wrong move and everyone will know” express what Elsa has learned to do from her father.

From childhood,  she was taught to fear and hate herself by her parents who believed her to be a danger to their family and their kingdom. Therefore, Elsa is taught that what makes her different (her powers/monstrosity) must be regarded as a shameful secret, in the same way that queer desires have often been viewed.

She stands against the heterosexual marriage.

The reveal of her powers happens just as Elsa refuses to give her blessing to her sister’s marriage.

Anna falls in love with Prince Hans, the two quickly decide that they want to marry. Elsa, presumably the legal guardian of her younger sister as they are both orphans, disapproves of the match and refuses to give her blessing. In the ensuing fight between Anna and Elsa, the latter’s magical powers are revealed. Elsa’s opposition to Anna’s romance with her prince exposes her “villainy” to the world and leads to everyone labeling her a monster. Just like the monster and the traditional fairytale villain, by standing against the heterosexual marriage of the heroes, Elsa opposes the heteronormative order and becomes dangerous.

Her desire to keep her sister from becoming the possession of the stereotypical hero shows her to be a witch. Therefore, the narrative links Elsa’s monstrosity (her powers) with an opposition to the heteronormative order, further reinforcing the connection between Elsa’s witch-like powers and queerness.  

If this was not made clear enough, the film continues to drive home that point as Elsa tries to escape the walls of her castle. Coming face to face with groups of parents with their children (the nuclear family, a symbol of the heteronormative order), she finds that they all recoil from her when faced with her powers.

The nuclear family here sees her as a threat and is frightened by her monstrosity. Therefore, Elsa not only threatens heterosexual romances (Hans and Anna), she threatens the existence of the “traditional family.” Elsa is perceived as a threat to the heteronormative order as she stands in the way of heterosexuality and the nuclear family.

Much like the monstrous queer, Elsa is terrifying to these parents and their children because her powers (her queerness) are a direct threat to their existence.

Frozen therefore, like many other monster films, associates the supernatural with queerness in a way that could be very problematic as it reinforces the idea that heterosexuality is “normal,” while queerness is “abnormal,” even monstrous.

However, the movie does in some way lead its viewers to question this divide. Elsa is labelled a monster by the other characters, but she appears sympathetic to the viewers. She is the one with which we are meant to empathise, and at the end of the story, we are meant to rejoice in her self-acceptance.

In other words, Elsa does appear to us to be different but not monstrous. Instead, many of the so-called “normal” characters, the very same ones who have labelled her a threat, are the ones who take on a monstrous guise. Their hatred and bigotry render them awful and terrifying.

She’s a “Femme”

In the first lesbian movies or movies with lesbians characters they were coded as butch or femme. I’m not gonna waste time explaining what’s a butch and what’s a femme assuming you all know, but the “lesbian femme in movies” were sexy lesbian vampires.

The lesbian vampire who is described by cultural historian and film maker Andrea Weiss (1993) as follows: “she has long hair, large breasts, pale white skin, and wears floor length, translucent dresses”

Does this ring a bell?

As she accepts her powers, Elsa’s appearance changes; she lets down her long hair, her dress becomes translucent ice, and more of her white skin is displayed, especially her neck and upper torso. So, while her sexuality does not become as predatory as that of the lesbian vampire, her clingy dress, exposed skin, and the more sensual way she has of moving certainly appear to link Elsa’s ice powers with her sexuality and femininity. Just like the lesbian vampire, Elsa is coded as a sexual feminine woman, and this coding is associated with people’s fear of her supernatural powers.

When empowered, Elsa’s appearance becomes softer and girlish.

Moreover, Elsa has the capacity to create life out of snow and ice, giving life to both the snowman Olaf and a violent bodyguard nicknamed “Marshmallow.”

It is interesting to note that while she created a snowman as a child, that one remained inanimate. Her lifegiving powers only seem to manifest themselves after she reaches maturity; linking her birth-giving magic to puberty. Her powers then include giving birth, but they do not require a heterosexual coupling.

However, her powers are also that of creating an eternal winter. She spreads snow and ice everywhere.

Interestingly, the knights who come to defeat her do not do so armed with fire, which one might expect given that they are fighting an ice wielding witch; instead, they come armed with small arrows, swords, and spears, battling one phallic symbol with another.

The scene then seems to indicate that the knights are fighting to reassert their masculinity over Elsa, battling their small arrows against her large icicles. In fact, this image of her danger to men’s masculinity is given more attention when Olaf, while discussing Elsa, inadvertently walks into an icicle and remarks casually “Yes, I bet she’s the nicest, gentlest, warmest person ever. Oh, look at that… I’ve been impaled”.

However, in this scene, the icicles never threaten Anna. They never touch her, only the male characters are threatened by them. These phallic symbols clearly only challenge the masculinity of the male characters, Elsa opposes images of soft femininity and violent penetration, making her a threat to masculinity even if that threat is mostly a by-product of male fear.

The vampire’s love.

Anna is twice relegated to the role of damsel-in-distress. It can be seen first at the beginning of the film, when her sister accidentally hits her on the head with her ice power, and again at the end of the movie, when Elsa again inadvertently hits her (seemingly fatally). We’ll obviously find out later how badass Anna is. 😉

With Elsa and Anna Frozen is offering us something closer to the relationship between the lesbian vampire and her lover/victim than to the traditional fairy tale; a supernatural and feminine creature who loves the naïve heroine yet cannot help but hurt her as is her nature.

The narrative of the lesbian vampire film centers on the villain and the hero’s desire to possess the heroine as they both fight for ownership of her. Comparatively, Elsa and Hans do not fight over the possession of  Anna (Elsa does not hold romantic feelings for her sibling); however, as previously  stated, Elsa’s powers are revealed to the world because of a fight she has with Anna over  the latter’s decision to marry Prince Hans.

It is then her opposition to  the traditional heterosexual fairy tale marriage which starts the initial conflict. Just like the lesbian vampire, Elsa is keeping Anna from the masculine hero, albeit not by kidnapping her, but by standing in the way of her marriage.

Elsa is doubly dangerous.

She is a danger because she is a supernatural creature and because she opposes the heteronormative order.

Here comes the twist tho. Hans is the villain and Elsa’s choice to oppose the match is no longer the sign of her monstrosity but the wise decision of a loving sibling. Standing in the way of a heterosexual romance becomes morally coded as good, while Hans’ rescue of Anna becomes bad. The story of the queer woman being vanquished (the lesbian vampire of the movies) by the heterosexual man is reversed from the story of  the triumph of heteronormativity to one of triumph over heteronormativity.

The Queer Melancholy

“The queer melancholy (longing  for acceptance)” and feminist trauma (narrative centered around the fear/danger of girl  empowerment) that Brave’s Merida, Maleficent’s heroine of the same name, and Frozen’s Elsa all share.

The “coming out” story

Love Is an Open Door: Closet Metaphors in Frozen

Images of doors are more important to the film’s visual motif.

The story of Elsa is the story of a young woman kept hidden behind a door. The film is littered with images of open and closed doors. Moreover, the text keeps on pointing to their opening or closing as meaningful events. Clearly, doors and their opening or closing are central to the narrative.

This motif is especially  interesting when we look at how it resembles a familiar metaphor for one important queer experience, that of “coming-out” of the closet. 

Come Out the Door: Elsa’s Opening of the Closet Gates

As the king explains, off camera, his plan to isolate his daughter, we are treated to a visual sequence of the castle servants closing the gates, doors, and windows of the palace, before seeing Elsa walk to her room and close her door on Anna. The shadows around the door of her room then look something like the bars of a prison.

This is the first use of the imagery which will come to dominate Elsa’s storyline. This divide between closed/opened, in/out, silence/speech, secrecy/disclosure, alone/together, and private/public will make its way throughout the narrative. These divides are themselves part of the “coming-out” story, which serves to make Elsa’s tale very much queer. 

Elsa is forced to hide. Moreover, as she grows, she is taught that what makes her different is wrong, something she must learn to hide: “Conceal it, don’t feel it, don’t let it show”

But the older she gets, the harder it becomes for her to hide, and as puberty approaches, Elsa’s powers only become stronger.

The film reinforces this idea both through the text (“It’s getting  stronger”) and through its images. Elsa becomes increasingly enclosed as she grows. Her limited access to the outside world is a window, which she cannot touch without covering it in ice. As she approaches puberty, she can no longer  touch people without fear of hurting them. Finally, by the time she is a teenager and grieving her parents, Elsa is shown huddled in a ball, surrounded by a cold blue light, snowflakes floating in the air.

Her body has here become its own prison.

The anxiety about concealing this part of the self might be coupled with feelings of loneliness as one cannot share or reveal  oneself with anyone. Indeed, this may sound familiar to many queer youths who often  report feelings of isolation. Moreover, these people are at an increase risk of depression and suicide compared to non-queer.

Remember “Monster” where Elsa is contemplating suicide?

But let’s back to the doors.

Imagery of doors continues as we learn that on the day of the Elsa’s coronation, the gates of the castle will be opened, an event that we are to understand is exceptional.

“For the First Time in Forever”

Anna links the opening of the gates with romance. Anna is bathed in light, singing from an open window and later from outside the castle.

Meanwhile, Elsa sings about the importance of keeping herself hidden: “Conceal, don’t feel, put on a show,/ Make one wrong move and everyone will know”.

The animation shows her alone in her room. We first see her through the wooden frames of her closed window. The image looks almost like Elsa is singing from behind the bars of a prison. Through most of the musical number, Elsa remains in the shadows.

The opening of the gates heightens the likelihood that Elsa’s secret will be exposed, a fact that makes her terribly nervous. The opening of gates therefore signifies that Elsa is making herself vulnerable to the world; it is linked with the opening of herself. The opening of the gates then takes on a sexual meaning, overtly with Anna who hopes for romance and covertly for Elsa who dreads discovery. The gates signify that both sisters have reached sexual maturity. Anna is excited at the prospect of finding a partner, while Elsa is afraid that her body will betray her and disclose the truth of her sexuality.

One sister is out, while the other is closeted.  

 “Love is an Open Door”

For love and sexuality to flourish, one must open  oneself up to others. The song thus continues to link sexuality and romance to the door  imagery. To keep one’s door closed is to hold back on love. If we apply this idea to Elsa,  it becomes clear what this song would mean for her character. Her magical powers are nothing but a metaphor for her love. Elsa’s love and sexuality are being figuratively held prisoner behind the gates which she always keeps close. If love is an open door, then by keeping her door closed, Elsa is hiding what makes her different, her queer love. 

As the ball continues, Elsa is already thinking of retreating. In fact, once her sister’s announcement of her engagement comes to threaten her peace, Elsa announces her plan to stop the ball and close the gates once more. Like the closet door, the gates offer her a measure of protection, a way to hide herself from a world who would vilify her for being born different

The door imagery once again comes into play, and a terrified Elsa runs, opening a succession of doors to find herself face to face with her people, represented by parents and their children, one symbol for the heteronormative order. As they discover her magical powers, they turn away from her in fear.

The figurative closet door was opened, and what she feared would happen has happened. She has been rejected, and she has been seen as a monster.

Her fears being realised has a liberating effect on her. She has nothing left to lose. She has faced her people’s fear and revulsion and come out alright. This realisation leads to her singing the now famous song “Let It Go”, a song which also has been adopted as a gay anthem.

Elsa expresses her feelings as she abandons all pretenses and embraces who she is, taking pleasure in discovering her own powers and swearing off approval in lieu of self-love. She expresses her newfound freedom in these terms: “Turn away and slam the door!”

Elsa is figuratively opening a door and  slamming it behind her; keeping others out even if she roams free. The song ends on another door image as Elsa announces to the world, “Here I stand in the light of day. Let the storm rage on! The cold never bothered me anyway”.

Mixed with the lyrics of her song, this imagery evokes the well-known queer saying, “I’m here, I am queer, get used to it.”

Here she is in the light of day, telling Arendelle that she is different and that they best get used to it. This is Elsa’s “coming out”.

From then on, Elsa holds an ambivalent relationship with doors as soon as Anna knocks on the doors to Elsa’s ice castle, they open, indicating  that she is welcomed, that Elsa is no longer hiding. When captured and locked away  again, Elsa blasts open her prison cell, bringing down its very walls. This all shows that Elsa no longer wants to be confined or to seek the approval and acceptance of others.

“I belong here, alone, where I can be who I am without hurting anybody”

This only changes once Anna sacrifices herself for her. This solitary act of complete love and acceptance is the one that finally breaks down Elsa’s defenses. Elsa realises that she must learn to freely love and accept love in return: “Love, of course”.

It is the only thing that will allow her to control her powers. This is the turning point which allows her not only to love herself, but to share herself with others as symbolised by the last opening of the gate.

Elsa loves herself and is loved for  herself. She informs her sister that the gates will never be closed again as we see her  skating on the ice rink she created for the citizens of Arendelle within her castle grounds.

The gates are shown to be wide open. Her difference becomes celebrated rather than feared by her people and her family as the story draws to a close. 

This “coming-out” metaphor is made more obvious by the change in Elsa’s appearance before and after her powers are revealed. Indeed, after escaping Arendelle, Elsa celebrates by changing her looks, trading her conservative dress for a more sensual and feminine one.  

Looks and sexual awakening

In the beginning of the movie the colours she chooses to wear are dark and sombre.

Almost no hint of skin other than her face is revealed, every inch of herself is covered. She walks with her back straight, her head held high, keeping her arms close to herself.

She does not smile and talks very little. She keeps her emotion inside, always under tight control. She seems tense, rigid, and cold, attributes which are not stereotypically feminine.

While Elsa dresses in a way that reflects a feminine performance of gender, she also has some masculine attributes. Her tight rein on her emotions, her preference for dark colours, and her rigid movements are expected ways of expressing a preference for a masculine gender role. Similarly, her taciturn behaviour and the way she covers every inch of her body are less expected of a woman. It can then be argued that at her coronation, Elsa mixes feminine and masculine gender expressions.

However, much of this undergoes change after she reveals her powers. Once Elsa escapes Arendelle and breaks into song, Elsa transforms herself as if she is shedding her skin. Her dark dress becomes a sparkling pastel blue gown. While before her skin was covered, suddenly she reveals her neck and décolletage. A slit in her dress exposes one of her legs. Elsa also lets down her hair, letting it fall in a braid on her shoulders. Her movements become less rigid – her hips undulate as she walks on high heels, and she opens her arms wide as if embracing the world.

Elsa becomes livelier;  she runs, jumps, shouts, and smiles. Although ice surrounds her, she looks warmer, more attainable. Her new frock, which allows a lot more of her skin to be seen, combined with her more sensual way of moving give her a more sexual appearance. This seems to link Elsa’s powers with a sexual awakening. Her sex appeal is here on full display as if she has been keeping a tight rein not only on her emotions, but on her sexuality as well.

Elsa’s femininity is exaggerated in a way Anna’s is not.

Elsa’s exaggerated femininity from this point on marks her as a Femme.

Elsa is a powerful woman who exists outside of the spheres  of male powers. She is a Queen without a King. Her very lack of romantic interest in the  film makes her difficult to attach to the heteronormative order. She is the most powerful woman in the land both because of her magic but also because of her political title. Elsa is, however, a problem to many.

 She is stronger than a hundred men and cannot be controlled. Moreover, Anna’s fiancé questions Anna’s desire to see her sister, believing it is unsafe for her to see Elsa, and a visiting Duke looks at Anna with suspicion. Her blood relation to Elsa makes her as a possible threat, something Anna is quick to disavow. After all, if Elsa could hide her “deviance,” who is to say that the same is not true of her sister: “Are you a monster too? Is there sorcery in you too?”. The closeness of the women’s ties is then perceived by the male characters as  either suspicious or dangerous to Anna, the powerless and, therefore, pure and good woman.

  Anna

Still, Elsa’s lesbianism is not solely focused on her powers and independence but also on her bond to her sister, Anna. The importance of this relationship to her character also adds to her queerness. Elsa does, indeed, make her relationship with another woman central to herself. 

The importance given to their sisterly love, which overshadows their love for their respective princes, gives a queer feel to the tale. By implying that the love shared between women can be more important than a heterosexual romance, the tale is opening the door to queer possibilities. Allowing the possibilities that two sisters may love each other as deeply as any heterosexual couples also allows the possibilities that two women who are not related may love each other just as much. 

First, Anna, Olaf, and Kristoff believe that Hans’ love will save Anna, and later, they believe much the same thing concerning Kristoff’s love for Anna, but, in the end, their assumptions are proven wrong.

Elsa is instead shown to be Anna’s true love, in a complete reversal of heteronormative expectations.

Their love can break a curse. While I do not want to imply that Anna and Elsa’s relationship is in any way romantic, I do believe that their story brings out the possibility of a queer romance. Their love is an open door which challenges heteronormative assumptions about the importance of female love and relationships.

[thenightling]

The Dodged Bullet

Warning: This is deliberately bad!

The dodged bullet:  

The following is the horrific notion of what would have happened if The CW, Fox, or Syfy adapted Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman instead of Netflix.   This is going to poke fun of common tropes of Fox and CW shows.  See if you can spot them all.

I am going to deliberately write this very, very badly.

             The generically attractive young man in his early-twenties walked toward the crime scene.  He wore a long leather jacket, designer sneakers, expensive brand-name jeans, and a stylish and perfectly fitted black polo style shirt under the jacket. It was rumpled but just so as to hint at what a great body he had under it.  He had thick, dark brown hair.  Brown eyes, a smoldering gaze and a dazzling smile.  He’s Caucasian and generically attractive.  He’s thin but not rake thin, more like sexy male model thin.   He’s got muscle tone.  

           At the moment he looked stoic, hands resting in his pockets.  He crosses the yellow crime scene tape without anyone stopping him.  No one questions his presence but he is not invisible. This is “grounded” in reality, folks.  

           The Sandman solves crimes!  The Sandman is a private investigator with a secret. He is a real Sandman!  Hidden in his jacket is a leather pouch which will probably get used maybe once or twice an episode (budgetary reasons).   And he gets confused by certain social cues and pop culture references but otherwise he’s just a generic hot guy.

           He’s probably portrayed by a Tom Mison type. He might be American. There’s an English accent but it’s so slight (so hidden by Americanisms) that it’s almost undetectable.   He approaches the pretty, ninety-pound, college age female detective with perfect, blond hair.   She looks up at him.  

           “Hey, Murphy.” She says in a friendly tone.  Yes, Murphy is his alias. She thinks he’s just eccentric and thinks he’s The Sandman but he gets results!  

           “Detective Walker.” He smiled with obvious affection. He crushes on her, pines for her. But she mustn’t ever know the truth. It is forbidden for one of his kind to be with a mortal.  Even if she is a Vortex.  And her great power may one day destroy the world…  or save it!  That’s the real reason he was here, to watch her. He had never expected to fall in love with her…

The show has almost no scenes in The Dreaming and when there are it’s about 90% CG over green screen, like the Enchanted Forest sets of Once Upon a Time, or the under-whelming Hell of Lucifer.  There’s probably a throne room with a starry night sky behind it, and an under-whelming “vast” library on par with Belle’s library in Once Upon a Time that will be shown very rarely.

           “We’ve got another one.”  She said gravely.  “Eyes torn out.  Pretty girl. Whoever this creep is- this predator must be stopped!”   The implication here is the victims are all damsels who have been targeted by an evil man targeting them for misogynistic reasons.  But don’t worry!  The show is totally not sexist!   Detective Rose Walker kicks ass!   And in season four she’ll be raising her own long-lost little brother!  Even though it’ll take her at least five seasons to learn Murphy’s secret (if she ever does).  

           “I thought the ‘me too’ movement would have at least reduced some of this.” She said with a shake of her head in disappointment at the world.

           The line of dialogue doesn’t actually really make sense under easy scrutiny.  Why would “Me too” actually make a serial killer reconsider his life choices?  Oh, well, the audience doesn’t have enough time to question it.

           “Me too?”  The adorable, awkward, pretty “Murphy” questions.

           “Boy!  Where have you been?  In a cave?”            “Actually I was trapped inside a prison cell for a hundred and five years and before that I resided in another dimension.”

           She rolls her eyes.  “Not this again.   Tell me you can at least figure something out with your ‘Dream powers’” she said cynically.   He might have been insane and socially inept but he got results!

           Morpheus knelt down next to the body and placed his hands on the corpse. There isn’t even any SFX for this. He’s just sensing something.  He grunts in a sexy portrayal of sexy CW level pain.  

           “What? What is it?”

           “I think I know who did this…”

           “Who?”

           “Corinthian…”

             (Opening credits here.  Maybe the opening riff of Enter Sandman by Metallica.  No, wait, Fox and CW can’t afford that.   It’s Mr. Sandman by the Charlottes!  It kills the mood but everyone knows the song.  You’ll be sick of it by episode five if you weren’t already.  And it will get a LOT of use since the song is cheap / practically public domain.)

           The next scene is not present day.  It’s a flashback.  And by flashback I mean a hastily put together set in Vancouver Canada.  It’s probably someone’s private stables being passed off as a medieval village.  No, wait. Its eighteenth century.  There’s a sexy other character wearing slightly anachronistic style sunglasses hiding his eyes (No CG here, the production team figures the glasses are enough).  In fact his eyes might not even be weird at all. He just likes sunglasses!  There, that’s better, no wasted money here.   He’s wearing a badly fitted white wig over white hair.  

           “My king,” the sunglassed man says with a bow. We have to be blunt for our easily distracted audience, so there’s the reminder that this is the dream king. “Thank you for letting me accompany you to the waking world.  There are such delicious things here.”

           “Yes, the food is rather pleasant.” Morpheus replies. His costume is decently fitted but obviously borrowed from another show, possibly a left over from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  Those props and some period costumes still get use.  Isn’t Morpheus adorably oblivious, though?

��          Morpheus is wearing a dark blue frock coat and lace. His trousers are exceptionally tight to show off the actor’s perfect ass.

           The Corinthian’s costume is cream colored. There was a behind the scenes fight and as small victory for the one crew member who actually read Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman in getting the cream outfit.  Others working on the show wanted the costume to be black to make it more obvious he was the bad guy.        

           An attractive, tall, black man (probably American), under the age of thirty, is behind Morpheus.   This is his loyal manservant, Lucien.  But it’s totally not racist making the dreaming librarian / butler black when the show hasn’t had any black characters yet.  No, it’s inclusive!  

           The attractive black man speaks.  “My Lord, I think he intends to do harm to the mortals here.”

           “Nonsense, Lucien. I’m certain it’s fine.”

           The Corinthian wandered away from his master and he soon drags off attractive young female into an alley, hand over her mouth.   No, The Corinthian isn’t gay anymore in this version.   But it’s okay.  Hob Gadling, Morpheus’ immortal friend (who now runs a bar for some reason) is gay!  He’s very gay.  In fact that’s the extent of his entire personality.  But isn’t this diverse and inclusive?!   And there’s no more problematic gay nightmare, even though in the original comics The Corinthian gets uncreated and the second Corinthian is a relatively decent guy for a nightmare.  

           After some persuasion Morpheus finally listens to Lucien and walks down into the alley.   He stops in his tracks when he sees The Corinthian has killed the girl and his licking his fingers, having obviously already eaten her eyeballs (gotta keep that TV-14 rating!)   He lets out a gasp.  “Corinthian, what have you done?”

           We cut back to present day and “Murphy” is walking into the bar owned by his friend, Hob Gadling . Hob sees him and smiles. “Murph, oh, honey, you look like Hell! Come sit down and tell me all about it.   You know I love juicy gossip.” He says in a naisly, lisping voice.

Imagine this scene was written by some very straight guy whose only exposure to gay people were 1990s Will and Grace reruns.  

           Hob places a shot glass in front of Morpheus and Morpheus downs it quickly. “Have you seen Matthew?”

           Matthew was Morpheus’ straight human friend and roommate.  He had learned Morpheus’ secret in the pilot episode when Morpheus rescued him from a car accident using his dream magick.   Ha!  And you thought we’d have talking birds in this thing. Lol!  No!  Grounded, remember?

           “Matt?  Oh, sweetie, you can do better than him.  I keep telling you, he’s just not your type.”

           Morpheus raises an eyebrow but says nothing about the implication about his sexual identity.  There will be a LOT of queer baiting on this show without confirmation in regard to his sexuality.  

             “I need to talk to him.   One of my nightmares is loose in the city.”  You can tell this was written by a New Yorker because they take for granted “The City” to mean New York.  

           “One of your Nightmares?   Why couldn’t it be one of those sexy wet dreams?”  Get it?  Because if the character’s gay he has to always be horny!!!  Ha-freakin’ –ha.  

(Please know I don’t actually feel this way. I’m mocking bad TV writing.  This whole thing is a spoof.)    

           There’s an awkward pause intended for the viewers to laugh.

           “I don’t believe any water nymphs have escaped The Dream dimension.” Morpheus replied in confusion.

He calls it The Dream Dimension in the show because “The Dreaming” didn’t sound hip enough according to some executive.

“I’m afraid it’s The Corinthian.  So now I have two problems.”

Hob nodded sympathetically.  “The detective you might have to kill…”

“And now this.”   This is an idiot proofed recap for people turning on the show late or just watching it in passing while doing other things or playing on their phone.  CW does this sort of in-story forced, shoe-horned exposition all the time.

The episode plays out a little bit like an episode of Lucifer mashed into an episode of True Blood.

While they’re trying to find the killer, Detective Rose Walker meets Murphy’s roommate, Matthew, and the two hit it off while chatting about Murphy’s weirdness.  They decide to start to date.   As Morpheus has feelings for Rose that he won’t admit to this causes a strain between him and Matthew Raven (There’s that bird reference!  What?  That should be Lucien’s last name?  Naw!)  And between him and Rose Walker.  

Morpheus lashes out rather than admit to what he is truly angry at and he and Matthew argue over something petty and this leads to recovering alcoholic Matthew to start drinking again as sad music begins to play.  

Morpheus eventually finds The Corinthian and is forced to destroy him.  He had to kill his own creation so he is kneeling in angst crying prettily while the sand left over from the uncreation slides through his fingers.  Some new female cover of Queen’s Who Wants to live Forever? Is playing in the background.  The original version is “too old” and too expensive for use. So here’s a very generic sounding cover done in a style that makes it blend in with every other pop song played during the forty five minute mark of a CW show’s run time (including commercial breaks).  

           The song plays as we cut to Matthew drinking alone sexily in an alley.  He’s sweaty and wet, but he just looks like a wet fashion model.   Morpheus is sexy crying over the sand that was the Corinthian, and Rose going to sleep prettily in her bed, no bed head here.  Oh, and she sleeps in perfect makeup!  There’s no scene where she even remotely looks like she’s out of makeup.

 She’s having strange dreams but they look pretty mundane.  Like real-world mundane.  It’s her living room set that we probably saw a few minutes ago, just dimmer lighting and some haze to make it clear this is a dream.  Because even with a show about The Dream Lord, dreams have to have an old fashioned camera fringe haze.  Murphy is there with his back to her.  He looks sad.  He turns to look at her and she gasps.   She sees a star (lense flare) from Murphy’s eyes in the dream as he looks at her in surprise like he wasn’t expecting her to see him.  She wakes up with a gasp, and everyone in her apartment building also wakes up at the same time, signifying that their dreams were connected.

And so ends what was probably the third episode of CW (or Fox’s) The Sandman.  

And that is pretty much how CW or Fox would have done The Sandman.