#the experiments are impossible actually
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People who says that the Doctor is definitely dead probably never watched or read any horror in their lives lol
#poppy playtime#ppt#ppt the doctor#ppt doctor#ppt harley sawyer#the doctor#doctor harley sawyer#dr harley sawyer#harley sawyer#“he's dead cause we fried his brain”#like what?#gurl he's a psycho scientist from horror game#the experiments are impossible actually#so why his come back wouldn't be possible if rules in this franchise allow for such crazy pseudo-science stuff
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i’m very sorry that society has made you feel this way about your fellow disabled people. i hope you can reflect on why you believe that other people with worse symptoms than you are bringing down this community and giving us a bad name.
(especially in the context of a vent post that is not indicative of whether or not we are “actually trying” in real life.)
i am also sorry that society makes you believe that in order for disabled people to be respected we have to consistently be working toward a nebulous goal of self improvement and overcoming of disability as to not be perceived as lazy and inconsiderate by the world.
i hope you can be kinder and more patient with yourself and your disability in the future, too.
#i’m not mad even though your tags on my post were extremely rude and disrespectful. i understand why you feel this way#it’s the way that everyone in the world talks about this issue to me and everyone else who struggles with it to.#it’s pretty much impossible not to internalize some of that#but a key thing in disability activism is the realization that disability is actually disabling. and that there are wildly different#presentations of disability in different people. people with the same disabilities may have vastly different capacities for dif activity#internalized ableism#ableism#it’s also just a bit funny that the whole reason i made this post was because of the people who tell me exactly what you did in your tags#that all i have to do is work harder and try harder and#refusing to realize that my ability fluctuates day to day and hour to hour#there’s weeks where i’m on time every day. and then i have a moment that lapses into hours of stuporific depression#or similar exec dysfunction#that makes it impossible to consider going anywhere or doing anything.#and during episodes like this the alternative to being late is not being on time. it is simply not doing anything#time blindness is a debilitating symptom i experience. it has soured hundreds of events and relationships for me. this is not because#i just don’t try. or i don’t want to. or i do not torture myself about it. i promise#an explanation of which i am only delving into in the hopes that it enlightens you to my previous posts logic a bit more#not because i believe anyone has to justify their disability to anyone to be owed respect and compassion#i hope this helps a little
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is detcon actually good
no <3 hope this helps
#listen. in order to enjoy detective conan you need to either be#1. obsessed with a very specific very japanese brand of detective drama and an equally specific equally japanese brand of slowburn romance#OR 2. a clinically insane fujoshi willing to overlook half-brother incest.#i have an actual literal chart in order to keep track of the character relationships at this point#and i havent even read the manga in a while so im sure its worse now#like half of the cases are either realistically impossible to solve or so fundamentally ridiculous it makes you insane#and another 20% are completely unitelligible to an english audience#because they rely on either codes based on the japanese language or some niche aspect of japanese culture or folklore#that would take several hours of research to fully understand. i know this from experience.#at least one CANONICAL couple are cousins#and it does that shounen manga thing where the author cant lose their steady income stream#so the story is prolonged through increasingly insane and convoluted plot points that only just barely feel coherent.#despite the fact that it's been going for like 30 years now the characters will literally never change or experience growth of any kind#shinichi kudo is an in-universe genius who has been trying and failing to make the same easy decision for THIRTY REAL LIFE YEARS.#i remember when he and ran FINALLY got together. which if i remember correctly was in literally the thousandth chapter#i was completely convinced up until the end of the arc that it was some sort of fakeout#because it is literally the only example in the entire series of those two changing the narrative significantly through their actions#I actually stopped my most recent reread because a major plot twist made so little sense it made me legitimately angry#all that being said. i am the kind of person who enjoys japanese detective dramas and slowburn romance#occasionally the comedy is REALLY good in a ridiculous sort of way#and if you can get yourself to fully buy into the absolutely insane framing circumstances a lot of the major overarching plot is good#but you just. you really have to overlook A LOT to get there. im not sure if i could do it if i hadn't seen the first few seasons as a kid#unfortunately i imprinted on shinichi kudo at a very young age. so. here we are#asks
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#the concept of JAIME or THEON even having their names put forward for consideration.....how does stannis let that happen?#is he knocked unconscious and locked in the ice cells until the election is over?#the concept of jon or stannis having to listen to and follow THEON's orders......#the concept of all these people living in the same house.....24/7.....#having to live with and command an undead teen who mind-possesses his weird magic wolf 24/7 is added trauma for post stoneheart jaime#asoiaf#tyrion lannister#jon snow#stannis baratheon#jaime lannister#theon greyjoy#try picturing teenage undead revenant jon snow getting the worst men in westeros to agree on any fucking thing???#now who’d give him the most trouble? my money’s on theon who just wants to fuck with him#jon can’t even get rid of him because theon actually has experience leading men sjsksnbsbs#I’d imagine jaime would be one of the most ineffective lcs of all time because imagine him trying to get all these people to do anything he#theon would be the worst lc of all time because no one would listen to him EVER he’d never get anything done........#I mean does he even live past month 1 to begin with? or would they just assassinate him as soon as they're able to?#the nw would be the most effective it’s ever been in history under stannis tho lmaoooo even though 75% absolutely hate his guts#jon oscillates between being the goat or woat depending on the time of day#tyrion try not to piss everyone off day one = challenge IMPOSSIBLE
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DOL: The Visual Novel
aka. I Need to Nuke This Town!
Including many pcs from the pcverse!! (that i didn't draw.) Here you can interact with, potentially fight and get insane mental damage from desperate orphans in your area!
Coming out never
Inspired by this post!!!
Ummmm pcs included
Cain and Will: me
Yunie: @wreckowafer
Angel: @ladyofalabyrinth
Nico: @psychophanticpervert
#i think you can tell exactly where i burnt out#planned to draw more pcs but couldnt get around to it#maybe another time#will tumblr nuke my quality: a gamble#dol#dol pc#fungus.doodle#fungus.draw#cain the belligerent#will the exempt#degrees of lewdity#degrees of lewdity pc#as always idk how people feel about being tagged so sorry in advance if you dont wanna be#this is going to be one of the worst vn experiences youve ever had in your life because there are a copious amount of routes#some of which you can only get after you get a different ending#also the skip button is hidden to make it even worse#its just horrendous#every interaction with angel is timed#also some characters react very intensely to specific traits the mc may have#this is essentially me being a nerd with my doll games#also you can die in this game#bc ik some pcs would genuinely kill you#i see yall#(affectionately)#dol: the visual novel#will's route is just him leading you on (probably accidentally) and then just going 'yeah um sorry i dont like you. or anyone actually.'#bedelias route is impossible to access if youre a man#ok i think thats enough tags
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On a note about physical disabilities that come from a traumatic incident, it always annoys me when it's so clear that the people talking about it in the lens of a fictional narrative are only talking about it in relation as a metaphor for something else typically mental only rather than also being a lived reality that people have to go through.
I'm not even saying that there can't be a discussion of the mental toll and grief that comes with becoming physically disabled because of a traumatic incident because yeah, that sorta comes with the bonus features of the disability and we really desperately need more stories that genuinely tackle the complexity of physical disability and how it affects someone mentally, but those discussions of certain characters that only seem to be concerned about the physical disability as nothing more than an allegory for some other mental hurdle that everyone can relate with is so prevalent and some of these discussions even act like real people don't actually experience these things and if they do, they're so minuscule in the population that it doesn't actually matter if we don't think about them.
When some of these people do think about physically disabled people from traumatic incidents, it's often to fuel angst or to make sure that their fanfics are #accurate but never to really understand the disability and offer compassion to those in real life who have them or even just to analyze the character who has this in order to understand them more at the very least.
It's good to see characters actually gain realistic disabilities in fiction and it's important to represent them with accuracy and it's absolutely amazing to see people still enjoy these characters even if they can't relate with their disability, and even relate with some of their mental struggles even when they don't have the same issues, but then most discussions about the character and their disability often just lead to mainly prioritizing just the mental side of it and ignoring most of the physical side that usually, in real life, actually makes the mental side of it so much worse and is actively intertwined with each other.
Physical struggles affecting the mental and mental struggles affecting the physical. One could probably be worse at one stage of recovery or stability but both are intrinsically linked to each other.
How most of these discussions pan out just doesn't sit right with me.
It's also especially even more annoying when these characters get written in a way (either in canon or in fanon) to suddenly have some sort of mobility aid that their struggles with their disability suddenly disappear and they become as good or even better than they were when they were able-bodied. Even worse when there's a magic cure that makes them able-bodied again and now suddenly, their time being disabled is never something they think about on a regular basis save for like maybe a short moment or two where the scene needs angst if we're lucky to even have that call back.
Like, as much as how annoying some fans are for completely ignoring physical disabilities, it's also upsetting to see the people who do acknowledge these disabilities only use it when it's convenient and forget about it when there's a "fix" for the problem.
#mayaposts#disability#physically disabled#actually disabled#disabled characters#disability in media#disability in fiction#ableism#cripple punk#cpunk#just been.. thinking a lot of thoughts lately bc of e33#like it is okay to focus on the mental struggles but it seems... incomplete not talk abt a character's physical disability when they have#one like there's a sort of grief that comes with becoming suddenly physically disabled bc of a traumatic incident speaking from experience#and that surely factors in with everything else other than the ptsd from the situation itself#plus the trauma of the incident and the grief of the sudden disability from it is intertwined and inseparable#that's something that is difficult and even impossible to split apart in your brain
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youtube
#It's actually impossible for me to express the emotions I experience hearing this song#it came out when I was 19 right around the time my dad died and it was just like a primal scream into the void of a song which i needed#gang of youths exploded onto the local music scene where i was living and there was this cult buzz around them and their live gigs#and then they blew up and became one of the most iconic bands of the 2010s for me and a lot of other australians my age#i saw them 3 times - at an outdoor festival a large indoor gig and once in this tiny venue with about 50 people#actually make that 4 times cause there were two separate big indoor gigs#they were incredible every time#i know some people know them because achilles come down went viral on instagram or some shit but you don't know them like i know them#lmfaooooo jokes jokes#I’m glad Achilles come down got the attention it did but I wish people would dig into the rest of their discography#gang of youths#music
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My live reaction to Black Monday s2 ep8
#that was the worst experience ever actually#I DID NOT SEE IT COMING LIKE...AT ALL#actually so upset right now#andrew rannells character try to have a happy healthy relationship (mission impossible)#black monday#black monday spoilers#kinda??#i love this show but good god i hate to sit in silence for a second to recover#andrew rannells#blair pfaff#watching tbitb again after this to feel better (it'll make me worse)
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The very relatable Tate Mcgucket experience of having a complicated relationship with your father that kind of neglected you and not even being sure if you really like him, but when you're grown and you see he's starting to live a better life you still feel happy for him despite all of the complicated feelings about how he was as a parent when you were a kid.
Also the complications of him trying to re-build a bond between you two when you're an adult but that's a whole other issue and despite the slight resentment of remembering how he emotionally affected you and your mother in the past you at least appreciate that he's grown and that he's trying.
And maybe you don't have to forget what he did, but you can grow and give him another shot if he's really trying to be a better person and live a better life this time.
#what do you mean there's nothing in canon that states these are Tate Mcgucket's feelings it's literally right there in episode 21 season 2#I just know him#impossible challenge: Try not to take every instance of a fictional character being a neglectful father personally to your own experiences#Tate Mcgucket#does this mean I kin him do I kin Tate now#fiddleford mcgucket#ok maybe this is also just a rant more than a post on Tate Mcgucket#actually nah fuck you it's both#I can flesh out a side character with my own experiences it's my right to do so#gravity falls#foxposting
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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Thsi is so awesome
#retail neopets will never have what neoclones do.#sorry gonna rave here for a bit but idk maybe its like when you beat a game and have fun restarting ut#*it#but retail neopets not as fun to me as GC now#i cant even care about the new neopets plot coming up#GC is a more limited experience but it also feels Better#i dont think id ever actually done any of the daily quests on retail but i have to on GC to make money since i dont have#Food Club privileges and its Fun#the games are fun‚ restocking is not impossible or unfair and its fun to bring down the market#people can do stuff like this with their shops#its fun ! im not social but i bet thats better too since its less people#idk. i loves it#talkys
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I am here to tell all physical nonhumans and supporters to not engage with tumblr user ursacanid on any of his posts about physical nonhumans and perhaps consider blocking. He is not open to even tolerating physical nonhumans and will not change his mind. I ascertained this myself from a very long and frustrating conversation in which he kept rehashing very classic and familiar 'anti-thisidentity' povs. Namely:
He talks a lot about 'you can be tested and your DNA and blood etc would come back as human, therefore you are physically human' and won't accept any reasoning or arguments which oppose this as the one objective truth or suggest that the experience of being physically different even if it is all psychological perception warrants the use of the word physical or literally (blank) 1/2
Not accepting the personal happiness/euphoria of physical nonhumans and the fact it's harmless (except the issues he's invented) to be a good enough reason for the use of the word 'physical' and anyone saying 'I am literally physically nonhuman' due to above 'it's illogical' mentality. 2/2
'You're special snowflakes', although he didn't use that exact phrasing he may well have as he believes that physical nonhumans simply enjoy being more special than other nonhumans and enjoy starting fights by interjecting that they are physically nonhuman and accusing people of being ableist and exclusionary.
'I don't understand your labels, so you must be doing it to confuse me', he strongly believes that physical nonhumanity is a confusing term because of it's inclusion of the word 'physical' and that refusal to change it to something he deems is more fitting is being done because the community likes to confuse people and make communication difficult and unclear.
'You're in an echo chamber because you don't like it when I tell you that you're wrong', dislikes that most physical nonhumans won't and thinks they absolutely should debate him on their identity despite the fact that he won't accept any counterargument that doesn't result in you relenting that you've got a human body. Hates all that go 'Nope I am literally this though' due to feeling they do not have to justify their identity to strangers and can't seem to understand that hostility towards this behaviour is because it is rude and uncalled for and that no group enjoys it when people not in their group or even in their group tell them that they're not actually (blank). 1/2
Sees this as indication that physical nonhumans are a toxic group which exists in an echo chamber because wanting support for your identity, or at least tolerance, and to be included/considered in the wider community/communities language and disliking anti's who tell you you're not what you are is apparently wrong. 2/2
In other words, it's completely pointless and probably upsetting to try and speak with him on the matter. His posts are going to be inflammatory because he really wants to convince the community to go against physical nonhumans, or at the very least acknowledge that 'it's not physical, it's (blank)'. I have sympathy, he's Autistic and so am I and I know what it feels like when something doesn't sit right with your internal perception of 'real and logical' and how the mind makes a mountain out of that molehill because of it, so please please don't harass him, but I keep seeing his one post go around with different people trying to get something across to him and I'm telling you it's not happening. Here is all he has to say and will ever say, you don't have to engage with him further.
#It's just funny to me because he's trans and a therian#and people regularly tell both those groups they aren't actually what they say they are#he says he experiences the world more like a bear than a human and#it would be so easy for me to say 'well that's impossible you're human so you don't actually know what being a bear is like and can't#experience the world as one. If you can't prove to me without a doubt that what you experience is actually 'bear' and not 'human' you shoul#call yourself a bear furry instead as that is more accurate to your experience'#but ofc I fucking wouldn't because that would rude and hypocritical of me#in the same way I could say 'but biologically you are female therefore you cannot be male in any capacity and I refuse to accept any answer#that involve gender and sex as seperate as I think gender ideology is intentionally confusing and non-literal when it should be'#which OF COURSE I WOULDN'T#but this would be using all the same arguments he is!!#anyway I blocked him but I hope he read my advice to just stay away from a community which he clearly gets upset over#physically nonhuman#physical nonhuman#physical therian#physical alterhumanity#physical nonhumanity#holothere
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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violently forcing myself to have better days
#everyone’s different and this isn’t true for everybody of course:#but a lot of the time we have more control over things than we can see in a difficult moment#like for example#a negative thought is inevitable and not something you can just stop. however you CAN decide from there how you let it effect you#it’s way easier said than done but you genuinely can be like hey I’m going to have a good day today#I like to set my intentions for the day and not allow my trauma nightmares to dictate how my whole day goes#but in order to do that I have to consciously decide that I deserve better and then create that for myself#does this make sense?#do things you know you enjoy/ things that make you feel better. take care of yourself. create little healthy routines to do each day#even if it’s just for 5 or 10 minutes#you have to act to make a genuine positive change in your life and circumstances#tried to say this as well as I could but I struggle w articulating exactly what I mean#like my thoughts are too complex to translate into words#anyways though I just wanted to add this- this post is not to make anybody feel bad whatsoever.#if you struggle with certain disorders and such it genuinely might be close to impossible for you to actually be able to have that control#and that’s okay. it doesn’t make you any less of a person and it is not your fault that you experience those difficulties#I just wanted to remind people that it is possible to control certain aspects of your life and it is possible to snap yourself out of it#I know I need to remember this as often as I can#that’s why I shared it#I hope this makes sense I do not know if it does lmao#(the tags)#my thoughts are so jumbled up. idk what other word to use lmao
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oc art BECAUSE I AM MY OWN BIGGEST FAN ‼️‼️ ELORA PORTRAIT
#silly#some rattish nonsense#i dunno#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#digital drawing#artwork#digital painting#digital artist#originalcharacter#original character#original art#digital aritst#digital illustration#character illustration#illustration art#illustrators on tumblr#illustration#oc portrait#lighting#photoshop#anyway#rambling in the tags is just something we all do right#i cant be the only one#that's physically impossible#as unique experiences aren't an actual thing#i need to outfit plan for tomorrow and here i am doodling my own ocs#someone please scream at me to get my priorities straight#please and thanks
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My Metal Gear Solid autism partially reactivated in the past week and I cannot fucking believe that Ocelot was like a mid-tier character for me when I was super invested in the series in the 2010s. This guy is the fucking best .
#I DESPERATELY want to play MGS3 which I do have on xbox360 but my controller charger stopped working a while ago#So rewatched the 'movie' edit by kefkaproductions on youtube and am in the progress of doing it for the whole series#It's still a close call as to whether MGS3 or 2 is my favorite. I think the Experience of actually playing MGS2 is the most standout unique#but 3 is the best all-around. And MGSV is the most fun in terms of gameplay#I never played MGS1 properly because I emulated it on I Think a fucking mac and like. WAS able to get through the game but#definitely not the best way to go about it. The Psycho Mantis fight nearly ended it because I couldn't figure out how to replicate#the controller switching shit and the workaround if you die too much didn't work because the emulator didn't use the ingame save#system. Finally managed to 'switch' controllers after which point the controls were completely fucked and responded as if I was#pressing 'down' constantly unless it was receiving another input. This made it impossible to aim a gun and I had to just beat him to#death which took forever. Which I think is beautiful in some ways.#Also the Metal Gear Rex fight made me want to be dead but I think that was a skill issue thing
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