#like yeah .. u knew what was up .. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clockwork-carstairs · 10 months ago

Text

do you ever think about how matthew fairchild was such a sunshine coded character—a golden boy, floated through school, charmed everyone with his infamous smile; a starry-eyed dreamer who had faith in most things that weren’t himself. and how because of one moment of naivety he lost years of his life to devastating self-sabotage, believing himself worth nothing, deserving of nothing, drinking day by day to numb out the pain—because he believed people could only ever like him when he wasn’t sober, when he wasn’t fully himself. and how despite visibly not being okay, nobody ever really said anything about it until he basically hit rock bottom. and do you ever think about how matthew would’ve given up his love for cordelia in a second if it meant james could be happy, when james wouldn’t do the same? you knew. i told you in the letter. and how he joked and deflected so much to hide how sad he really was, because he believed no one would care enough to see it. i did not know that i looked sad, to you. because i think about it a lot and it makes me very sad

#matthew fairchild #the last hours #tlh #chain of thorns #so i don’t know what possessed me to write this but i reread certain first parts of chain of thorns and well.#also thinking ab him in cast long shadows #how he’s described as being so lovely and charming and bright #but he ends up SUCH a sad character like he is so sad #well anyways if u couldnt tell who my last hours favourite was hahah #gotsm #cus like. when james showed up matthew is stricken #and obviously not entirely in the right yeah #but he ceded the battlefield and says this explicitly #but james knew of his feelings and shows up - hence not doing the same for matthew.#that made me a little mad lol #but whatever ….#chot spoilers

312 notes · View notes

vertekel · 2 months ago

Text

I always found Miraak's "rebellion" against Hermaeus Mora to be amusing, not in the sense his efforts are meaningless because they are who would want to leave such a beautiful husband smh but because of how Miraak acts like his situation is not his own doing.

He has walked himself up into the dragon's tower to play princess, sat his pretty ass down and said "Hello handsome I do hope you do not mind the new residence." And when Hermaeus actually kept him there he acted like suddenly it's Herma-Mora that's the problem. A lot of messy yapping ahead btw

In all seriousness though I do find his behavior to be inconsistent in a way that makes me question Miraak's mental state and sense of self. Miraak was so wholly dedicated and devoted to Hermaeus Mora and sought him for nearly everything. For power, for freedom, for what was likely even companionship. Being so wholly devoted to him he has a statue of Hermaeus placed behind where his own coffin would have been along with what would have been his most prized treasures. This can be seen as the way Miraak perceived Hermaeus, as someone guarding over him as nordic tombs usually have such imagery as a "tomb guard." As well as being the fate Miraak wished to find himself with even in death, of which he ended up receiving in the end. It can also be perceived as foreshadowing as well as mockery to vahlok and the cult, or a message that Hermaeus is the one who helped him cheat death.

For Miraak to even trust Hermaeus at his most dire hour of need says so much about how he felt for him, how his trust was in him to such a degree he placed his life entirely in his grasp. Such complete devotion is something commonplace with Herma-Mora worshippers that Hermaeus actually keeps, of which he kept Miraak for hundreds upon hundreds of years. In all those hundreds of years, Miraak never once left the realm. This is what made me think about what if Miraak's state in Skyrim is one contradicted entirely from his original self. Apocrypha is one of the easier daedric realms to leave, Hermaeus tells people how to leave, his servants tell people lost how to leave, there are several points set up that are constantly active portals to leave the realm. Apocrypha is referenced to be planemelded to Nirn in the Arcanist skill descriptions and people even end up there on accident all the time. So it is one of the easiest realms to leave if you know what you are looking for of which, no doubt, Miraak knew.

So why did he not leave? I doubt Hermaeus actually kept him there by force considering his more passive approach to things. He could have left at any time but chose not to, until for what I believe, Miraak became a part of the realm and a part of Hermaeus by the same means Durnehviir became bound to the soul carin. Spending so much time there that his own essence became a part of the place, so that if he were to leave, he would just rebound to the realm over time as if he was an atronarch or summoned daedra. This to me, implies that he never had any desire to leave at all. That he was at his core, content to be there. That it is what he chose, what he wanted. His fate was one he chose with the daedric prince of knowledge.

Hermaeus has no real control over fate as seen with the necrom and gold road dlcs, he merely scribes it and goes to great lengths to manipulate it. So Miraak entirely chose to stay within the realm, to be within Hermaeus Mora's service for eternity and to never leave. He did so for such a long time he became a very part of his prince and was still held onto tightly and closely by said prince. Even when Miraak says he is a "fickle master" he knows that Hermaeus is reliable and predictable at his core. That as long as you are entirely devoted to him, he will be to you in return. This will never change for all of eternity. His final words are not to us, but to Hermaeus. Speaking to the prince about his devotion and servitude to him even to his death, which was likely his promise to the prince to begin with. I see his words as a clarity before his own death, reality setting in that shattered and stripped his mind entirely of every delusion and every distraction until it was solely about the being he pledged his entirety to.

That Miraak's acts of rebellion or desires to be a "master of his own fate" truly is "restlessness" as described by Hermaeus Mora. That it is a result of the realm itself eroding Miraak's mind and identity, and his memories. I mentioned in another post how Apocrypha is incredibly acidic and similar to a stomach, that it erodes and breaks down everything within itself over time. Miraak would have been extraordinarily resistant to this due to his dragon blood and soul, but not immune. If his state in Skyrim is erosion, and his behavior within the 3rd era for what seemed to have been briefly is due to psychological erosion it would entirely make sense. Someone so wholly devoted to something suddenly feeling trapped or forced into something he does not want, as if looped in memory to his servitude to the dragon cult. To feel a complete lack of control once felt under the cult within the very place where he essentially has near complete control over, and even chose to be, seems suspicious.

His behavior is inconsistent, he acts as if he has never met you or heard of you before despite his cultists being sent to kill you, as if he himself does not remember his own orders or thoughts. This breaking down of memories and desires is described perfectly by the conditions of the Hushed. People who have been eroded by Apocrypha. To me, Miraak is going between shattered memories of his servitude to the dragon cult of which was entirely against his will. Something he wished to escape desperately, and in such a broken mental state, he turns that association to Hermaeus, the very being that helped free him, the very thing he chose as his own path. The mind is known to mix traumatic things together with our present, with things that we even cherish. Abuse victims can become afraid of the people close to them even if they have done nothing to hurt them out of fear of repetition. Miraak becoming obsessed with his identity as Dragonborn feels separated from what was his original desires, which was to be free of the ties of his blood and soul. That he did not want to be the hero others pushed him to be, he did not want to play as a pawn in the game of a god he felt was indifferent to him. He wished to be more than the means that made him. For him to later become so wholly obsessed with it as his identity makes me again think his mind has eroded and broken under the intense pressure of Apocrypha.

I am sure Miraak saw his soul and blood as a means of power but not his entire identity in the way he does in Skyrim. If his behavior in Skyrim, his ambition, truly is delusion and the result of shattered memories and emotions, it explains why Hermaeus did not rid of him the first time he acted this way in the third era. Recognizing it as a result of erosion and not betrayal and disloyalty. Holding onto Miraak the way one holds onto an old toy until it is tattered and worn, until it is in pieces and nearly unrecognizable but it's fabrics and making is still all the same. Keeping it for that reason. Holding onto the possibility that Miraak never will truly betray him and will never cross his devotion despite his eroded state, which ended up being true in the very end.

Hermaeus began to believe his closest and most cherished follower was becoming truly lost to him now, so such a fear of loss made him hold tighter and tighter onto Miraak until he did not let Miraak leave both out of fear for his safety, and fear of losing him in the way one wishes not to lose a prized treasure. That Miraak's instability psychologically was perceived to be so bad that Hermaeus took away his ability to come to and from the realm, which no doubt did terrible things to Miraak's mental state. Hermaeus also seems to have been entirely against the idea that Miraak's fate would be in anyone else's grasp but his own. He robs you of the right to kill him even though you bested him in battle, he denies you it. That it if his champion is to fall, it is to be by no other but himself.

Even in that interaction, this is what really has me sold on this whole perspective, is that when Hermaeus snarls and yells at Miraak as he impales and displays him to his own gaze, he speaks of Miraak's perceived betrayal, how he wanted to leave, that he will never leave. He will never hide anything from him, another sign he perceived betrayal from Miraak. Paranoias of the worst coming true and what results is frustration and anger. And likely, hurt feelings but a daedric prince would never say he got his feelings hurt. But I'm sure Miraak saw right through everything he was saying as his words to Hermaeus are so precise and they contradict everything he was yelling about. He speaks of his service to him, his loyalty to him, and how he sees Hermaeus trying to replace him knowing that your character will never truly replace him. It's funny in the sense of "Oh. You believe I betray you? Well the final words I say will be of how utterly devoted I am to you." Very clever and very sassy on Miraak's part. But also... It does make me think as I mentioned earlier, it was his moment of clarity. Regaining of his self and even that he felt content in his final moments. Content of his death, of how he lived.

Do I read their relationship as really romantic yes I do, o7

Miraak is also likely still trapped in apocrypha and he'll be back eventually as dragon souls are easily rebound to their bodies and I know damn well Hermaeus isn't giving him up EVER.

Basically; Miraak in Skyrim is entirely mentally eroded from who he was and Hermaeus is really bad at communicating his emotions

#i love them so much #they gay as hell #doomed yaoi #miraak #hermaeus mora #miraak and hermaeus need couples therapy #skyrim #theyre pretty much married in my mind tbh #hermaeus is really insecure tbh your husband loves you #“fickle master” huh miraak yeah sure im sure he was a master of something else too yeah in BED #“ill do what i want im my own master” miraak your love language is acts of service youre just where you need to be #i have another theory that Miraak was originally created by Akatosh not to defeat alduin but to accompany Hermaeus #just that neither herma mora or miraak knew this. Akatosh just wanted his unintentionally created son to have a companion #i always thought this bc why didnt akatosh make a new dragonborn to beat up alduin immediately after losing Miraak #almost as if miraak wasnt ever made to be a killer nor a dragonslayer. but as a companion for herma mora #dad gave him a toy and hermaeus played with it too rough ig #no seriously the dragon priest mask being like tendrils giving him such curved horns? appealin to herma mora's taste i see u Akatosh

74 notes · View notes

viktorarcanedeservesbetter · 5 months ago

Text

Genuinely what was Ambessa's plan w Viktor because uh....I think he was pretty clear on his intentions in that sphere of his. She sees him turn one of his followers into a cunty gold white robot, then sees him do it to all the rest and supposedly some of her own army?

I mean I know part of her plot was that she was so blinded by grief + her own ego + own desires but for quiet possibly the smartest war general in the series who always had a plan and had a fear of mages she didn't pick up on the cues that something was "not right" with Viktor?

Orb! Viktor speaking through his robotic followers: "When I reach the Hexgates the anomaly under it will give me the power to complete my Glorious Evolution and everyone will be perfect."

Ambessa, who was too busy passing notes to a twink to pay attention to the 'dangers of eugenics' lesson in class: "Sure sure sure, whatever you say."

#Love how Singed in ep6 immediately knew what was up. I know Lest heard about/saw Vik and told Salo #but I love pre-jailed singed hearing about some purple robot jesus healing people in the fissures and hes like damn thats my guy!#my headcanon is that the time he got arrested he was just out doing errands and viktor was his last stop #got side tracked by a war plot and family plot #then invited himself into a magical assimilation plot #side note: man really risked it all on the basis Viktor wouldn't assimilate his ass too. Viktor told everyone in less words it was his plan #Singed whispering to Vik in the orb like: hey. if youre gonna assimilate everyone can you spare me + whatever vessel i put my daughter in?#Viktor: no sweat dude i got u. its probably going to be very weird having two-non perfect beings in my world but sure.#new headcanon: he spotted Jayce holding a sketch of vik and crying and was like. oh. Thats the Jayce he was talking about.#singed talking to his daughter like. yeah i knew vik wouldnt go through with it. his ex cried shooting him & viktor stalked him after #I wasnt in the hivemind but i heard the confession was pure poetry. anyways this is why you cant have a boyfriend. they ruin everything.#i have no idea where i was going with this but ueah #viktor arcane #ambessa medarda #arcane

39 notes · View notes

iknowwhereyousleepatnight · 4 months ago

Text

pissed tf off because 1) i have once again put on a new show thinking i could work on shit with it in the background without getting distracted (and failing miserably)(when will i learn). 2) i have a new character that i want to tear apart with my teeth which pisses me off even more because 3) it is EMBARRASSING how much i like this character i could fucking feel my pupils dilating and my prey drive activate literally immediately 4) it is even more embarrassing bc he is so embarrassingly my type that im pissed tf off that i never watched this before now or literally any time i wasnt busy. and this all leads to 5) now i have to think about killing him when i am TRYING TO GET SHIT DONE and it's making me mad it's pissing me off so bad i'm fucking enraged they should invent a way to physically harm fictional characters just for me i think

#IM GOING TO THROW UP #for the record i started watching this show like 3 days ago (the exact same time i stopped properly working on my valentines cards....)#and every day since ive just been like [thinks abt the character] adkjddhsjhahsjdlkakhsghdfashsjkhhds asjhdajsjdhvamnbsmbashjbdnasnd #*starts banging my head against the wall* skjsjhgdjakdshhjsjahjdsada ksdjhjajhadjhkadsjmkajdjs #but like it's not at light yagami levels okay. but i can see it getting there. but i cannot let this happen. but it Could. u understand.#literally my sister asked off-hand what i was watching and i fucking put it down adn started pacing and ranted abt the show #and The Character for Literally an hour when i was on like s1ep5 #okay we're far enough in the tags for me to admit it's hannibal Yes i know there is a lot of overlap btwn dn and hannibal fans No i still #didnt watch it for the longest time idk why BUT Why didnt anyyone tell me that will graham is like that. like yeah i knew some things #abt hannibal but i didnt know will was Like That. like i feel sick. i also didnt know about the glasses why havent i seen the glasses #before im losing it im going to throw up and im not kidding i feel physically ill. this is likely bc i ate peanut butter which apparently #makes me feel sick now. not an allergy but it's triggering a problem ive never had w pb before so like Okay ig we;re doing that now #so anyway will graham.... it's not fatal but it is bad. now watch me never post abt hannibal again bc if i start posting abt it it might #become fatal. and then i'll never escape. and like i need to be doing things like applying to schools and being sane #and idk if i can do that and also deal with more characters that i need to kill

14 notes · View notes

lemongogo · 8 months ago

Text

college … wasted on the youth (me)

#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN #forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just #so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing #and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif #dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z #bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore #ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school #i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do #science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only #reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed #and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during #covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what #i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg #for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO #i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now #like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad #guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)

22 notes · View notes

kamisatoayato · 2 months ago

Text

adolin kholin the man that u are...

#finished reading wind and truth tonight #dare i say he had the best arc in this book ?#i have Thoughts.#i dont think this book was as bad as some people are making it out to be but it definitely wasnt sanderson's best #like i probably rank it above rhythm of war but below the first 3 books. which is a shame but w/e #i will say i still liked it and enjoyed it but i think the writing wasnt as good #esp in the beginning it was very like overt and hand holdy lol. which i think is a problem with sandersons writing #in other books but idk it just seemed a LOT here #wasnt a huge fan of the kal szeth story in the beginning but i think there was nice payoff #adolin best arc idc....loved his whole thing....#shallan was fine idk her whole thing w the ghostbloods is so whatever i wish she had actual cool stuff to do #im a shallan defender no matter what tho i love her but yeeesh.#jasnah...gurl whatever. the debate was really dumb. like i think that was so stupid #its hard to write smart characters ig</3 #and as for dalinar....okay. the whole contest thing pissed me AWF cuz wdym tOdium just snatched gav from navani #like that pissed me OFF. if it was when they got separated then fine i accept it #but being like teeheee actually i took him from u right when u got back to the physical realm. like bitch fuck off thats so stupid idc #i knew beforehand that gav was gonna be tOdium champion but in my head it was like ... baby gav LMFAOOOO im like well yeah #no way dalinar is gonna kill baby gav. fsdjhk #well he didnt kill adult gav either.#i guess i liked that this set up books 6-10 pretty well. i like the idea of forcing everyone to have to deal w retribution now #instead of ignoring it and putting it off for generations and generations #ALSOO since i read sunlit man i was kinda like omggg what the fuck did sigzil do. and it was sorta meh.#but the fact that szeths spren was auxiliary.... AUXILIARYYYYYYYYY</3 #i got sad all over again. FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFF #also wait wit getting vaporized by retribution was tew good he deserved it a teeny bit.#anyways ummmmmmmmmmmm just dumping my thoughts here. wait i should tag spoilers #wind and truth spoilers #stormlight archive spoilers #wat spoilers

15 notes · View notes

sapphiclinos · 5 months ago

Text

what drugs did they put in sonic that attracts autistic people cos oh my god this shit has taken over my life in the span of a week how did they DO THAT

#like i can feel it deeper in my core than regular hyperfixations #this has put its roots in my brain like its gonna be around for a fucking while i can tell #WHAT IS IT WITH TRAINS AND SONIC THAT HITS THE AUTISTIC POPULATION SO HARD. IS IT THE FAST? THE GOTTA GO FAST?#guys this is bad it took like actually 2 seconds of shadow being on the screen for me to be like yeah thats my baby forever #thats my little guy HES SUCH A LITTLE GUY HAVE YOU SEEEN HIMMMM #i dont usually get cuteness aggression for anything fictional but holy FUCK #you do NOT understand how fast i rinsed the ao3 'shadow the hedgehog & maddie' tag so i could vicariously hug him through maddie like #YOU DONT GET IT #anywhat thats where i've been guys. also jealousy fucks me up bad and seeing stays be able to touch hyunjins hair made me need a break. /hj #very literal half joking. like im exactly 50% joking i could teeter either way at a moments notice. anyway im fine #been busy consuming 24 years of shadow fan content #sapphicminho says things #not skz #IM NOT DONE. im just in awe at how they managed to make a character so badass and cool but so baby like #hes unironically cool as HELL #but then u look at him and its like holyshit. maria girl i get it i'd adopt him as a little bro on sight as well #anyway prior to last week all i knew abt sonic was the VAGUE memories from playing unleashed when i was like 10 and the snapcube fandubs #penny parker ily best streamer. one of the like 2 streamers i gaf about

10 notes · View notes

wholemeallbread · 5 months ago

Text

please somebody tell me im not losing my mind

#montys goop / ꩜#my sister asked me to help her do her hair #and i was like yeah why not i have nothing better to do #she asked me for SLICK BACK DUTCH BRAIDS WITH A CROWN #what does fhat even mean #she showed me a pick of a braided crown thing and i gave her a look #becaus i just KNEW if i did that for her shes gonna hate it #blah blah blah she ditches the idea #and i say 'how do i even slick back dutch braids?'#and she was like 'its not that hard'#FIRST OF ALL DUTCH BRAIDS ARE NOT FLAT #at least the way she likes me doing them #so i asked her 'you want me to give you flat braids?'#'no'#WHAT #HOW AM I GONNA SLICK BACK YOUR HAIR IF U DONT WANT IT FLAT #but yk what its whatever i start doing a french braid instead because i assumed thats what she wanted #not even half way down her head and she starts yelling at me all coocoo and shit #but im used to it #so i start again.#'do u want FRENCH or DUTCH braids?' <- keep in mind i was this close to giving up all together #she said dutch #'so u want them small?'#'no!'#i cant make it allegedly SLICK BACK if u want them to be BIG #WHAT IS A SLICK BACK BRAID #her hair is thick asf anyway who is she trying to fool anyways cuz its not me #im not cramping up my hands for you #in the end i gave her a high ponytail with a side part.#that she couldve done herself.

16 notes · View notes

secondpersonpoetry · 8 months ago

Note

you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one!

oh. oh.

#don’t think i’ve read this kim addonizio poem and it just blindsided me like a truck thank you so much #i. oh god. like yeah.#pour me shitfaced into your car i feel like you own a comforter extremely dysfunctional only in surface details like which person was the #black hole and the distant spark in space that might’ve been a star there’s something too with unrelenting mist / many-headed mist / missed #who knew mis(t)/sed had undone so many. while you keep an eye on the burner here’s hoping this flame doesn’t go out #the flame as in the spark as in don’t let me have pinned my hopes on you to watch it burn out again but also me. like please let me not go #and i think there’s something there too with the repetitive ‘i have just met you’ and i already love you that reminds me both of a story #colman domingo told abt meeting his partner i cry everytime i hear it right when he says ‘i think i love u &you’re about to change my life’#and i KNOW there’s another poem. and i feel like it maybe has a dog and it talks about how they don’t even know you but they love you #OH IT’S ALSO. OH MY GOD THAT’S IT. i mean not exactly so maybe i have read this before & it’s what has been haunting me for so long but #the opening line to tim seibles naïve is ‘i love you but i don’t know you’ - mennonite woman #the odds of that dog poem being a carl phillips poem is non-zero btw. his poems about dogs make me see shrimp colors (bertuzzi thesis)#ANYWAY. agreed. this is incredibly hockey and incredibly hurtful because they DO bond like this in 0.0001 seconds because if you can’t #you’re fucked. you have to just find somebody and fall in love with them and it’s the salmon and the triple cream brie like they got taken #out to some fancy meet the donors team night in their suits and one of them is dealing with a heartbreak and a trade and are the things #they think true or are they just missing what the used to have. jamie who used to empty and refill the ice tray YES sorry i have been a #little bit thinking that about the trevor dealing so poorly with the breakup and i wish i had another narrative (which i do) but it fits #trade deadline tragedy #and also the formation of a codependent rookies like. two guys that get drafted and brought up together and suddenly they’re doing #everything together and it’s your first time in the big show and none of your old college friends understand because they’re not there #and you can’t get it. like you think you know but they can’t understand and the loneliness and it IS guys taking care of each other #(alexa play harriet by hey rosetta! but specifically the bridge) and it’s just. i just!!! trying to fill up the missing pieces of your life #like i cannot convey WHOMST i am trying to pin this narrative to this is going to rotate for a long while i think #because it’s not a wild i fell in love with you at first sight it’s a you were kind to me when i was broken. and i love you for that.#like who is FALLING APART &happens to fall into someone else’s arms. purely for the partygirl aspect the devil (old hrpf) says ‘13 bennguin #who among us hasn’t fallen mildly briefly brilliantly in love with a stranger and imagined a future where you get everything you want #sometimes we love people for who they are and sometimes we love them for what we’re not and sometimes for who we think they’ll be #this was a very long way to say thank you for sharing <3 i will also be making this about my hockey guys <3 #OH MY GOD IT’S DPAIRS. WHO’S BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL DPAIRS #nonny <3

11 notes · View notes

clumsypuppy · 1 year ago

Text

i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend

my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.

but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)

on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.

and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(

you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth

and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!

#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened #my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda #ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game #because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something #normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have #when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think #i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing #others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie #but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy #and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him #and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me #i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder #this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for #literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND #i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better #yapping #diary #loz #pokemon

41 notes · View notes

residentrookie · 9 months ago

Text

getting vulnerable on the dash if u saw this no u didn’t

#i never remember my dreams #but u know how ppl (mainly women) have dreams about having a child and they like fall in love with this child #and then they wake up like 🧍‍♀️ where tf is my baby #well that’s never happened to me before #but last night i dreamed that i had a bf. i still remember what he looks like bro he was a cutie pie!!!#and it’s really stuck in my mind bc it wasn’t like NOVEL.#we were together with other people in a car and i just knew he was my bf and everything was super chill and normal #but like he was there and we were together #and what the fuck! i woke up like….. wait where’d he go #kinda heartbreaking i CANT lie #anyway #yeah

12 notes · View notes

cerealmonster15 · 6 months ago

Text

i was lookin at a few vids about the bg3 dream visitor romance [spoilers if anyone's still early game i guess lol] and like i was so shocked people were, like, so upset and betrayed when they discovered the dream visitor's true form fksdjgkdljf like okay i forgot not every corner of the internet has monsterfuckers and also i guess normies are playing this game. and ALSO it reminded me that the % of players that even have the steam achievement of sleeping w/the emperor at all is so low. 12.7%. why is everyone a coward. i'm not even a self proclaimed monsterfucker. i dont like sex and im mildly phobic of tentacles. WHY IS EVERYONE A COWARD!!!!!

tho to be fair probably a lot of ppl are also romancing a companion and wanna be faithful - ive only gotten to that scene in multiplayer where none of us were in companion romances so it was guilt free go for it see what happens, in the discord call all together LOL..... then we had a lover's spat after the raphael fight 😑

#im p sure you have to become a mindflayer to do his whole romance which i dont wanna but like it's fun to see what happens lol #but also our friend has played further and was heavily biased against the emperor #im like dude no spoilers i wanna make up my mind as we go. im gonna fuck him LOL #3/4 of us did #our friend didnt and then he was like OH WAIT I FORGOT THERES AN ACHIEVEMENT well thats what u get for being a hater i guess #p sure we are going to betray him and break that guy outta there but idk maybe we wont. gotta mix it up see what the vibes are #in the multiplayer game we kinda just let things happen in the moment it's a fun and chaotic time #sometimes we lie. like we lied to raphael. it's fine #and then we tried to lie to the emperor about the fact that we made the deal but i think we rolled bad lol #so he knew and we had to be like IT'S FINE DUDE TRUST ME WHATEVER #anyway my point was i was surprised people werent into his tentacle form i just assumed all sex enjoyers do but #i forgot about the normie allos..........#there was like ONE person in the comments that was like yeah i romance the dream visitor and YES i know 👍#only real person in that comment section i s2g #anyway we havent finished a full playthru yet so idk maybe ill be a hater by the end of it but rn i have fun with him #even tho he was kind of a bitch when we had that latest talk lol he was so shamey about our raphael deal 😒#i think he was mad he couldnt see what we were up to down there like bro give us some space!!!

5 notes · View notes

oh-no-its-bird · 1 year ago

Text

Callback to when I was in school and the internet there was just really, really bad

(shout out to all the schools out there who attempted to block out all internet and cell service in the halls in an attempt to keep students off their damn phones, but only succeeded in tossing out a very very large and messy net of dead zones across the entire building)

And so every single day on the bus going to school I would be frantically "select all"-ing copy pasting fics off of ff.net, chapter by painful chapter bc there was no "show all chapter" button to use, into my Google docs so I could read them in school without fear of the page reloading and my precious stories being lost