#the fact that he is a selfish freak with acts of violence as his love language is important to me!!!!

[sunnibits]

I hope izzy continues to be a selfish fucked up masochistic mean freak in s2 of ofmd btw. like obviously I enjoy a good domesticated izzy as much as the next guy but I truly do not want them to go immediately into a soft uwu baby arc I desperately need more content of him being messy and violent and jagged thank you <3

I may draw and engage with a lot of silly and fluffy content about him but I can’t forget the fact that the scene that really made me interested in him was the toe scene. like that was the hook for me!! I genuinely want to see more crazy shit like that from him!!! like I do enjoy him when he’s complicated and bad actually hope this helps :)

[michanvalentine]

Things about Vincent Valentine that I read around and piss me off.

"Vincent should have done more!"

It is one of the most common observations. And I hate it! What he was supposed to do exactly? Ok, let's take a step back and pretend we're in the real world and not in a fantasy action video game. Vincent was a highly trained Turk and an excellent marksman. That's not enough to say that he was definitely also a cold piece of shit ready to do any job. In fact, I believe that Vincent was the exact opposite of this and that he was not cut out to be a Turk at all. Which is why he got into trouble. "Stern and upright" is how Square Enix describes him, so we're talking about a person who has great morals and a high sense of duty. And these two things don't always go together. To this we must add the naivety he had as a young man (evident in DoC) and his great empathy towards others (which FF VII Rebirth is highlighting a lot). So when Lucrecia decided to use the fetus as an experiment, Vincent found himself in an impossible situation, where morality and duty were at odds. Human experimentation disgusted him, but his role was as a bodyguard, nothing more. His duty was to watch and let the scientists do their work. Furthermore, at that moment no one could imagine what the result of such experiments would be and what Sephiroth would do in the future. So we're talking about a man torn by his own principles, full of doubts and, lest you forget, heartbroken. It is not easy to act in a situation like this. But he couldn't ignore his own morals, so despite his role he tried to reason with Lucrecia first and then he confronted Hojo, with the consequences we know. Did he have to kidnap Lucrecia? Did he have to kill Hojo? Did he have to burn the Shinra Mansion to the ground? Let's be honest, normal people don't act this way. And Vincent Valentine was the sanest one in the middle, so he paid for it. But even if Vincent had freaked out and gone down the path of violence, there would have been consequences and it would probably have ended the same way.

But let's go back to Lucrecia for a moment. Vincent's naivety and empathy did not allow him to notice the red flags. He only saw the best and deepest part of her, the fragile, kind and brilliant one. When she pushed him away, he still behaved as correctly as possible. He stepped aside, hoping that she would be happy. There is no selfishness, there is no possessiveness. This is called unconditional love, and it is very rare. Should he have claimed Lucrecia for himself even if she didn't want it? Fight the other man to get the woman back? Continue to chase her proclaiming his love like a crazy? These are some traits of toxic masculinity. Vincent left her absolute freedom, he respected her choices as a woman, as an adult and as a scientist, even if his sensitivity allowed him to understand some things before she could notice them herself. And that's why Vincent's question "are you sure this is what you really want" hurts so much. He knew it. He knew she would love that child.

The fact that Vincent feels like a failure who was unable to protect the woman he loved and her child is understandable. But this is only his feeling, his perception of himself in a situation way bigger than him. So no one will ever be able to get it out of my head: Vincent Valentine did everything a good man with his hands tied behind his back could have done. He went out of line for Lucrecia and Sephiroth, and was killed for it.

[galedekarios]

Keeping this anon, but I hear you hate bloodweave. I was curious on your take to why.

You don't have to reply to this if it makes you uncomfortable thought!!

i'd like to preface this again by saying that this is my opinion. idc what you ship.

i've talked about this here, but i don't mind reiterating my points:

they have no chemistry, to the contrary, gale shuts him down right away during their first talk and ast*rion's manipulation attempts. i assume that gale sees right through him from the beginning. a lot of people love to hc gale as naive as or as completely taken with ast*rion, but it's the complete opposite. i imagine his many years in waterhavian society made him realise quite quickly what type of person he's dealing with. the relationship they have doesn't progress much from that. by act iii they - at best - begrudgingly tolerate each other.

they are diametrically opposed in the things they value as people as well as their morals. gale is kind-hearted, he approves of helping those in need, children, mothers, slaves, refugees, even the animals you meet in-game. he seeks to avoid bloodshed, approves of letting people who want to pay the party back for their help keep their money and belongings. he seeks knowledge and even power not for selfish reasons or a taste for the darker things, but because he seeks to better their odds of survival against a seemingly invincible foe. ast*rion meanwhile is selfish and cruel and vile. he delights in violence and bloodshed, he finds the struggle of people caught in the crosshairs amusing. he is greedy and short-sighted, seeking power for himself, no matter the cost to others.

they are completely incompatible in terms of what they look for in a relationship and a potential partner. gale wants and needs a deeper connection, a tangling of the souls, and he needs someone to be there for him unequivocally, to love him for who he is as he is. he is not taken in by someone's looks or image they present of themselves, nor does he do hate sex / endless bickering / enemies to fwb / etc.

the first things he cites for trusting the protag are their good actions (helping mirkon, helping arabella, seeking to ease the tension between zevlor and aradin), it's all those things that at first make him trust the protag and later - when they unselfishly offer him help, give him artefacts - makes him fall in love with them. sex and immediate gratification isn't important to him. sex is a component - one way in an array of ways to proclaim love.

for ast*rion, it's manipulation first and his entire romance hinges on that. his partner falling for his looks and his text book manipulation into sex. that's already where this breaks apart for me in terms of this ship because that doesn't work with gale.

add to that ast*rion's cruel remarks about gale's when he is need:

[after gale's background story reveal] You'd have us debate? That Netherese jack-in-the-box should be a blip on the horizon by now!

[after mystra's demands] I can't believe Mystra's demanding Gale sacrifice himself to destroy the Absolute. It's just a waste of a perfectly good cult that we could be controlling. And a waste of a perfectly good Gale, I suppose.

[at the stormshore tabernacle] Well? Go on, then - it's rude to keep a goddess waiting.

[after orin potentially kidnaps gale] So, we kill Gortash or Gale dies? It's not an easy call. On the one hand, killing Gortash would be fun. On the other, Gale can be very annoying. We should probably save the wizard, though. He does have his moments.

i think it's very clear, given the fact that these reactions range from act i to act iii, that he doesn't give a singular fuck about gale. contrast this to karlach's reactions, or even shadowheart's:

Karlach: That bloody freak won't get away with this. That's my wizard she took. And we're going to get him back.

(particularly karlach has many reactions like this.)

...unless you play either of them as an origin char and make the most ooc choices, i do not see how this pairing is supposed to work.

additionally, as i've discussed more in my previous post, the parallels people draw between them are shallow at best or can be drawn virtually between any of the other origin companions, or are non-existent at worst. ast*rion having a reading animation that he shares with gale (as halsin and shadowheart do too), or having their tents next to each other (like wyll and gale do in act i) isn't really enough for me.

as i've said previously, i have tried to engage with the pairing because it's sadly inescapable since people often don't bother tagging, but there's nothing except shallow ooc stuff.

[azulsluver]

Bully!au with a cunning mc?

Oh how the tables turned

tw. yandere, bully!characters, manipulation, mentioned violence + public humiliation.

Heartslabyul || Savanaclaw || Octavinelle ||

From what I am getting at, reader this time can stand up against the bullies. During their time spending with Ace and Deuce, they noticed the way they've been a little distant and leaving backhanded comments. Perhaps reader has been in these types of situations, so they knew better than to entertain the duo by pouting and complaining. Instead, let them have a taste of their own medicine, being sure to catch onto their words in case it sets Deuce off. He's such a hot head. Call out on Deuce's bullshit, corner his feelings and get him to side with you. Ace would be left to fend for himself, so used to having people agree on his terms, he's gotta pick a side to be in the league.

People may not realize it, but Deuce is so easy to manipulate in this au. But he's too far deep into his delusions and selfish desires to repent, thus why it's best to catch on to the signs and take the wheel. Deuce is pathetic in your hands, separate him from Ace, make excuses to keep him company and busy while Ace stays from the side, he is the main reason why Deuce acts this way towards you after all. It's preventable, to say at least, but Ace won't back down so quick.

You have to play the game right, or else you'll fall like a stack of cards.

Ace is good at gathering troops into his plans, he gets to fling those around if they aren't much use to him. You'll catch on pretty quick however, understanding why Ace decided to have everyone turn their back on you. Because he's interested. You make Ace second guess himself, what was special about you to begin with. Could it be the fear of rejection, social image?

You want to peer inside that silly head of yours, glaring from across the room. And you noticed, the way his posture straightens as his eyes make contact with yours, teeth biting his lower lip as sweat cling to his neck. Ace loves the attention.

Riddle and Cater could be out of pure spite. You're good at something that they want.

After being told numerous times by Cater that he'd call the fashion police every time you two would hang out. He expects you to not take it by heart (100% wants you to), through gritted teeth and crumpled knuckles, giving him a confused expression to lay off. If Cater wished to create an image of himself that'll falsely inform others, then you might as well play it his way. Fooling Cater by pretending to be the air headed friend, you listen well to your elders, people slowly recognize you by the littlest of things that can make you stand out. Associating yourself with Cater meant you had been influenced on what you should or not do with him.

In fact you enjoy Cater's expression, when someone comes to say hi to you and not him, or mention your story of something you did last week. Shrugging your shoulders as you bat your lashes, Cater could barely hold himself from strangling you. He can see what you're doing, you aren't as dumb as he thought you'd be.

Clicking his tongue, Cater would want to cut you off from his social life for good, but you'll be a reminder to him that he has to do better. If you can easily take down his persona, just how willing were you to do more than just tease him for taking advantage of an innocent person such as yourself.

Riddle has been through some sort of public humiliation, and you've kept that to the back of your mind. He's high and mighty, he knows what he wants, and he gets it one way or another. You and Riddle would be rivals at most, some form of twisted love he's created for himself, for you, that you're perfect. But so, so disgusting.

He doesn’t wanna focus on or getting in a relationship, his bad habit of being a neat freak has caused a toll on him. Making it worse the longer he indulged in this unhealthy behavior and of, although majority of the characters start off light during their bullying. When turned a blind eye is where evil sets in, growing rapidly once they realize how good it feels to have someone bellow them. Riddle, per say is victim to this trope.

You have to push yourself to him, grab his attention and prove him that you are worth the respect. This goes with intelligence because he’s somewhat attracted to those who know how to use their knowledge to hood use. That’s the point, make use of yourself to show Riddle that you’re someone on his level. This can go two ways with him being your rival or friend.

Don’t be seen as vulnerable around Trey. It’s what started for him to prey on you, with no clue on how the world work to little no friends. At first Trey was your average normal friend who helped you at times need, sometimes it came with a price. But then he got greedy, expecting more than taking advantage of your naivety.

Trey is a little tricky to figure because he doesn’t open up about himself a lot. You have to find weak points that doesn’t involve hurting his loved ones. However you can easily deceive him by playing coy, keep him in line with his morals (once he gets comfortable there’s no turning back). I wouldn’t say he’s easily influenced but he hopped onto the train when it did come to bullying you, I guess he took some form of pity but that was to mask his sadistic tendencies. Trey does try to control his urges of said “temptation”, but he gets off to the feeling of someone needing his help in dire situations.

Which means you can be buddy buddy with Trey just make sure not to trigger any opportunities for him to get to how he is in this AU. At least he gives you free snacks.

[residentlesbrarian]

The Second Book I Read In the Dark: Another YA superhero novel for me to squeal over forever...YES, Please! Gimme Gimme!

Dreadnought by April Daniels

So Day 1 in the dark continues onward and I have already finished 1 of my 3 library books with still so much day left so what else to do but soldier forward and continue without pause. Well there was a short pause for delicious chicken soup cooked on a blessedly gas powered range (never gonna live in a house with an electric range; I swear this thing has saved our butts in so many power outages), but I digress; I was ready! This time I was taking a break from the whimsical and witchy and diving head first into all things super with an extra heroic twist. 

I had heard so many good things about this book for so long but again it had fallen to the wayside of other distractions (a rainbow montage of movie and TV show gays runs back and forth through my head like the migrating fandom flamingoes). What finally made me make the decision to buckle down and do the thing was a video review done by one of my favorite YouTubers, Dominic Noble (Video Linked below). I love his series Lost in Adaptation, because as an avid reader I too find myself appalled by what Hollywood often does to my favorite books. Hearing him talk about Dreadnought was just the push my flighty brain needed to say, “Fine! Alright! We haven’t utterly obsessed over a teenage superhero book in like 6 months since we near bludgeoned our girlfriend with Not Your Sidekick! Fine! Let’s do it!” So...yeah if this intro is anything to go by this should be a fun one! Let’s dive right in shall we!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: She just wanted to paint her toenails in peace but then a superhero had to go and die and give Danny the one thing she never thought she’d have...her proper body. Now if only everyone else felt that way too. Life just got awesome and really really complicated all at once! Oh yeah and she can fly now. Bonus!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review: 

Holy crap! After the last book this was exactly what I needed! This book was just...so good! The plot...the characters...the world...everything about it just pulls you in and doesn’t let you go. Now I may have felt that way because I didn’t have anything trying to pull me away from this book but I don’t think I would have been easily pulled away if there had been distractions. And so many facets of this story were things I didn’t expect because I had never seen them portrayed before. Like the fact Danny having to deal with the rampant day to day sexism of being a woman now that her appearance matches who she really is. I’ve never seen that in a book before and I absolutely loved it! I was so dedicated to Danny’s story from page 1 it’s ridiculous, and look at that, a perfect segue into the phenomenal characters of this book...look what I did there switching it up going out of order on ya...gotta keep ya on your toes.

Our protagonist Danny is such a phenomenal example of a genuine kind caring person who is also deeply scarred and angry. It was so amazing to read a character that was flawed and struggling and doesn’t see how much a hero she really is and the small moments when others take that double take and go, “You’re the real deal, huh?” But those moments just confuse the living hell outta Danny cause she’s just Danny, she got super powers as a fluke. She is also hilarious and courageous and smart but knows she isn’t perfect and has weaknesses. She may be the strongest person on earth physically now but she acknowledges that that isn’t everything someone needs. Danny is such a good bean, but she has issues and that isn’t glossed over which is so rare. Now the next thing I want to touch on is a very tough subject but is very prevalent in the book so I wouldn’t be a very prudent reviewer if I didn’t bring it up. Danny is, without question, an abused child. This isn’t even really a spoiler, it alludes pretty heavily to it in the blurb, but what I’m gonna touch on next does dip into that territory so I’m gonna break it into a new LONG paragraph so just scroll on by if you don’t want to read this bit.

So at one point in the book Danny mentions a health screening at school that revealed she had hearing damage in her right ear that has now been healed by the mantle of Dreadnought. At the time of the screening she didn’t realize why until her dad had another Mount Vesuvius day and she assumed her usual position of curling in on herself and turning her head to the left so he would yell into only her right ear. Now how loud and how often do you have to yell into someone’s ear to cause permanent hearing damage? I don’t know and honestly I don’t want to know. Why am I highlighting an overall tiny moment...because for me this moment jumped out and gut punched me. Brought literal tears to my eyes. Tears of pain. Tears of rage. Tears of hate. I’m a weepy bitch when I get emotional. I’ve read a lot of books that try and portray abuse and how Daniels wrote Danny’s abuse from her father took my breath away because it felt so real. There weren’t really any good days, there were bad days, there were really bad days, but most days were just anxiously waiting for the next bad day, because Danny knew there would always be a next bad day. Something that did surprise me was my feelings about Danny’s mother. I knew going in I would hate her father, before even meeting him I hated him, but her mother, that was a hate that lay dormant until it exploded onto the scene and froze me to my core. I’m not gonna get into my own demons here but there is one thing I cannot abide by and that is people turning a blind eye while someone abuses another. Danny’s mother is the textbook definition of someone who “goes along to get along”, she will do just about anything to keep the peace, but at what cost? Instead of protecting her child from someone who literally screamed so long and so loud at her child that it damaged her hearing she just sat back and let them. That’s not the worst though, no, after Danny’s transition her mom seems to be understanding of the fact she is happy being a girl and is buying her things she needs like bras and undeniably feminine shoes, only to reveal it was all to keep Danny docile so she wouldn’t cause more fights with her dad. That to me is unforgivable. Not worse than the abuse of the father, but still undeniably selfish. She never cared about Danny or listened to her and what she was really saying. She just didn’t want there to be anymore fighting. Well I’m sorry, but sometimes, as a mother, you should fight to protect your goddamn child when someone is hurting them. The last thing I’ll say before going back to the more spoiler free and fun part of the review is that the fact Danny can never make herself say she is being abused hits so close to home for me. As a reader looking in from outside, there was a scene with a member of the Legion that I felt like, as an abuse survivor myself, I was standing there begging Danny to accept her invitation. To get out of that house. To get away from her father. To see what he was doing for what it was. But I knew she wouldn’t, she wasn’t ready, and it broke my heart to watch her fly away.

Anyway moving on from all that heavy stuff lets talk about other things like some freaking superheroes and one particular vigilante. We have the Legion members: Doc Impossible, Valkyrja, Magma, Graywytch, Chlorophyll, and Carapice. Now How do I want to talk about these characters...in what order...hmmm...how about from best to worst. Okay? Okay. Great! 

I freaking love Doc Impossible! She is a character that from the moment I met her she gave me ‘kookie grandma’ character vibes and I get DOWN with kookie grandma characters. Now I know she isn’t a grandma character nor is she particularly crazy in the way she acts; it's just a vibe I get from her that I love. Now one thing I do want to say without spoiling anything is how Doc is one of the few characters that never tries to take away Danny’s agency in everything that happens around her in all this superhero craziness. Danny can always be her own person and most importantly a kid around Doc, and I feel Danny really needed that. I will stop myself now because I could go on for hours about Doc and how much I LOVE HER!

Next up we get a two for one, Valkyrja and Magma. We don’t see much of them but what we do get is pretty good. They are adult superheroes who have their own priorities surrounding what is going on with Danny, but aren’t mean or cruel and seem to genuinely care about Danny. Valkyrja is funny and surprisingly down to earth even though she is basically a scandinavian goddess of sorts. Also the hilarity of her being Danny’s long time celebrity crush never gets old. Oh Danny, you useless little lesbian. Magma is a precious big hot boy that seems like he’d give good hugs. Yeah, that's about all I got to say about him that won’t spoil anything. 

Now we have another two for one with Chlorophyll and Carapice. These two I'm between dislike and indifferent on.  They weren’t outright mean to Danny but they treated her more like a means to an end or down right refused to acknowledge she was the new Dreadnought whether they liked it or not, but we didn’t really get to see them enough to really learn more about their motivations. 

Finally to round out the Legion we have Graywytch. Excuse me while I get this out. *Exaggerated throat clear.* First of all, Imma slap that stupid robe of ya stupid head. Then Imma stab you with your stupid fancy atheme you like to wave around all the time. And don’t even start on your “Typical male, always resorting to violence” shtick, cause guess what, I’m a ciswoman and I still wanna stomp a mudhole in your ass. And for that...Imma slap your dumb bird too. *Deep breath in. Looooooong exhale.* Sorry about that. Mama had to express some rage. I have never had a hate-sink character that made me feel the fiery flames of rage quite like Graywytch...obviously. Her treatment of Danny had me gripping the book tightly and growling about slapping birds and “shanking bitches” more than I should probably admit. She is one of those characters that I love how much I hate her. She served the exact purpose she was meant to and it was never cast in a light that she may be right in her treatment of Danny, we are always aware that her mindset is ridiculous. Like the fact outside of her parents Graywytch is the only character to blatantly deadname and misgender Danny. To go off on a small tangent here I may relate too much here because I have a younger brother who is trans (don’t worry he is fine with me discussing it in reviews and such) and I went to a graduation party when my best friend graduated medical school and he was out to the family but not extended friends yet. After only referring to him by the proper pronouns for so long at home hearing the wrong ones caused legitimate eye blinking record scratch cognitive dissonance for me. I had the same feeling anytime Graywytch opened her stupid mouth and blatantly misgendered Danny. Because the way this is written Danny is Danny, she is exactly who she is meant to be. Suck it Graywytch!

Okay, I know you probably want to hear about the plot I know, but we have one more character we have to talk about and that is Calamity, the rootin’-ist tootin’-ist vigilante that ever did come through these here parts. Sorry, I have to talk like this now, it’s part of the persona, you have to commit to the persona. But real talk, I absolutely love Calamity as a look into “graycapes” and the real dive into the world of superheroes beyond the big heroes. We get to see how someone who doesn’t have the backing of the Legion goes about helping people, the little people, those that maybe the Legion way up in their tower can’t see from so high up in the clouds. And y’all know me, I love a morally gray vigilante with a heart of gold.  She had me at “You wanna go capin’?”

Now obviously I couldn’t get enough of the characters but the plot was pretty darn good too. It was so intricately woven in with Danny and her inheriting the mantle from the previous Dreadnought that she had no choice but to be an integral part of it. Now I obviously don’t have as much to say about the plot as I did the characters but know if you come for the plot you won’t be disappointed. It kept me guessing and threw me for an absolute curve ball at the end that I did not see coming! You won’t be disappointed.

So final thoughts...there isn’t much more I can say without going on an hours long squeal fest about how much I freaking loved this book and the characters and the intricacies of how Danny’s powers work and how she was written and how she interacts with different characters and just everything that would mean massive untakebackable spoilers! So I will end on this note; Danny is a character that it would have been easy to lean into the superhero aspect and let the reader forget that she was trans, but April Daniels didn’t want that. Danny was gifted the easiest transition in the history of the world. What takes most people years of HRT and surgeries and therapy Danny did in the passing of a mantle, but it never took away the fact she is and always will be trans. It was a unique reading experience that I have only been blessed with once before but that’s a story for a different review on a different day.

Queer Wrap-up: I would give my left kidney (that’s my good one btw) to give this book five unicorns, but alas I cannot, a one off conversation in an elevator hinting that a certain improbable doctor may have a one sided thing for a particular sadly straight scandinanvian god being is just not enough to count as additional rep. As much as I love this book, and I love it A LOT! We only have Danny as our queer rep and she is fantastic rep and our protagonist so a 4 unicorn rating was a no brainer on this one. Danny is the kind of trans rep I want to see more of in the world of books, YA and otherwise. Being a trans lesbian is a huge part of her character but she gets to do so much more than that in the breath of the story and that’s what I look for in great representation, so Danny easily earned these 4 unicorns on her own merit just being her amazing self.

Links: 

Goodreads

Dominc Noble’s Review

Alright so...this one got long. Ah hell, I ain't gonna apologize for it! This is a damn good book and I wanted to get my fangirl squeal on y’all. 

Oh no, I think I’ve been thinking about Calamity too much I slipped into the persona without meaning to! This book was just far too much fun to read to the point I started reading it out loud with a full cast of voices (hint: the Calamity parts were my favorite) because it flowed so well and was genuinely so funny at parts and heart wrenchingly sad in others and so action packed the next moment. I finished this book in less than a day and if I had been more present and not under a pile of blankets and wearing a headlamp I might have thought to keep a timer to tell you the exact number of hours it took me, but alas know it didn’t take me many. 

So the adventures reading in the dark continue on to the next review after this one but as always if you want to read this but don’t want to spend the money without knowing for sure you are going to like it, go to your local library. You’d be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

[palbabor-writes]

11,23,26,30

Welcome back ♥️ 😘

11. Any moments, or scenes, that you could watch/read over and over again:

So, every leak night, like a freaking obsessed person, I re-read the manga. I start at chapter 270 and then keep re-reading until I hit the latest chapter, or the leaks start to release. 

It helps me to stay grounded in the moment. If that makes sense?? For me, I can appreciate the nuances and watch the build up happen at a gradual pace. It’s kinda like putting a book down for a week, finding it again, and then needing to remind myself of the plot and characters before I keep reading. 

And so, for now, imma say the War Arc, as distressing as it’s been, has been my most re-watched/read bit of BNHA. 

I’m ready for something else, Horikoshi plz, end this torture :((((  

23. Any moment that was a disappointment:

Honestly, the Overhaul Arc. I liked the development of Shigaraki & his growth and I liked all the questions that were asked by the adults (see: ROCK LOCK) at the table before the raid, but I dislike how it’s so self contained?

I feel like none of the characters, aside from the UA kids and teachers, really got to experience much development. Everything is very boxed up. It’s almost like it’s own little mini novel. 

26. What moment did you find the saddest? Or that hit you the hardest:

Chapters 235 - 237. 

That’s the Shigaraki back story reveal. I don’t know what I was expecting. We’d seen glimpses but seeing it all laid out & how much the unfortunate circumstances of his life broke him, yeah, that hurt.

Still does. 

I’m terrified that I’ll burst into tears when it’s animated. 

30. What is, if any, the biggest flaw you see in the series?

Ahaha. I loved you asked me this Lydia, but you’ll prolly regret it. I’ve always got a bone to pick with things. 

Saying that, I love this series. I like the characters, I like the depth, I like the vulnerability of the male mains, I would like to see more of the female characters, but it’s a shonen & I guess I get it. *not really. more female development plz & ty

But, I dislike the disconnect of violence. I don’t like that the heroes get to smash and bash and vent and feel, but when the villains do it it’s a big ol’ GASP, can you believe? All Might did wonderful things for society, but he also plays a big part in enabling all of this lackadaisical apathy we see in the work.

And that’s not limited to heroes. The everyday people seem positively gleeful at the carnage and aggression they get to watch played out on the streets. As much as I dislike Endeavor, it shouldn’t have taken a kid to say, hey, he’s freaking trying & he’s lowkey dying out there, have a little bit of faith?? Maybe try to help him, but don’t turn away from his husk of a body to look for the next best thing. 

These are the themes that I love in this work & I want to see so much more. I like the grey characters and I like that this whole thing starts with the quote: “Men are not created Equal.” However, I would like to see people learning to be badass, to help, to succeed, to be worth something, without their quirks. 

Izuku didn’t need OFA to be great, he already was. Mirio absolutely almost triumphed over Overhaul without his quirk. That is valuable and that is important. Ahem.

BNHA ask game

Below this cut are major spoilers. I discuss the some of the events that transpired in BNHA 293, so no touch if you don’t wanna see that.

 I AM SO PISSED AT THIS LATEST CHAPTER. OMG. 

You can live with out a quirk. You can thrive without a quirk. You are just as valuable WITHOUT A QUIRK. So the fact that Mirio asked a 7 year old, who’s only worry should be what color she is going to put in her coloring book next, to fix him, is not, imo: OK

I’m also bothered by the fact that Aizawa sat there and said, this is fine. You’re upset by children being used in this war, right?  

I don’t care if Eri thinks she’s been practicing for this: she is SEVEN. She is a child & I want her to get to be a child. She shouldn’t be leaned on for fixing your problems. It’s too similar to what Overhaul was doing and, at the end of the day, you’re using her for YOUR selfish benefit. 

Oh, and she is a civilian. 

She is not a hero. She is not enrolled to become one & I think everyone at that school would say she is too young to make that call right now. Hero society relies on civilians not taking action, not interfering. Society calls the MLA terrible & they are all technically classified as villains for using their quirks without a license. Why, why, why then, can you ask Eri to use hers?

In BNHA, using your quirk, outside of the bounds of the law, makes you someone who is acting on the WRONG side of the law. It doesn’t matter if it’s for the right cause, as we saw with the kids, waaaay back in the Stain arc

So. My question is, why do you get a pass Mirio? Why were you able to skirt the rules of society, when ppl like Tomura, Twice, Toga, or others, who feel that they are slipping through the cracks, who don’t conform to the rules, are held to a different standard? That’s an: It’s ok for me, but not for thee mentality & I am upset. 

If you made it this far, thank you for listening to my ramblings :3c it’s just a manga, i should likely chill the fuck out & i’m SORRY.     

[recentanimenews]

OPINION: The Madness of Hunter x Hunter's Hero

  Hello everyone, and welcome back to Why It Works. If you’ve watched anime long enough, I’m sure you’ve heard some young protagonist pledge to “do their best” before a big battle. It feels like an anime truism, common to stories of young heroes who train hard, make precious friends, and then struggle to overcome their nemeses — ie, most of the most popular anime. It’s such a common sentiment that we’ve come to take it for granted; and like many narrative choices we take for granted, Hunter x Hunter chooses to examine it a bit more closely, and wonder precisely what sort of person might grow from such a philosophy. The results are worrying and undeniable: by the time Hunter x Hunter reaches Greed Island, it’s clear that there’s something deeply wrong with Gon.

    Hunter x Hunter plays its hand slowly, relying on our built-in assumptions about its genre to conceal the character study it’s actually building. Early on, it doesn’t seem strange that Gon is utterly obsessed with physical self-improvement, and becoming a Hunter as soon as possible; after all, that’s just the sort of wild, starry-eyed quest these sorts of protagonists always have. Wild ambition, fanatical training methods, and reckless self-destruction are all par for the course, so what’s so unusual about Gon displaying all these tendencies? Because of our genre expectations, Gon’s initial pursuit of the Hunter’s badge seems boyish and sweet, rather than dangerous and obsessive — and with the show’s own tone supporting this interpretation, the audience has no reason to suspect anything is wrong.

  Cracks only begin to show when the true nature of hunters becomes clearer. Most people would not spend their lives dedicated entirely to becoming killing machines; that pursuit takes a kind of mania, as well as a clear disregard for conventional social advancement. But most action shows are not specific about the kind of single-mindedness that would inspire such a pursuit, so rather than populating themselves with maniacs, they set themselves inside “fight worlds.”

    In these fight worlds, becoming an action hero is actually the standard path of maturation, be it via ninja exams or any other route. Additionally, the idea of single-mindedly dedicating yourself to becoming better at fighting is actually applauded and considered admirable by all your peers. The fighting is ultimately a metaphor, after all; the lesson truly being taught here is “commit yourself to things, and you’ll discover you’re far stronger than you expected.” Metaphor aside, the base plot of these narratives is the process of raising a generation of killing machines.

  In contrast, while Hunter x Hunter is filled with similarly monomaniacal killers, it does not exist within a fight world, where such behavior is the norm. Hunters choose to become such single-minded instruments, to be people who can handle violent deaths without blinking, and who readily push their bodies to the point of breaking. Hunter x Hunter fully understands that hunters are maniacs; and Gon is one of the most terrifying maniacs of all.

    At first, assessing Gon’s strangeness requires distancing yourself somewhat from the assumptions of his genre. Gon greets death and dismemberment with a smile, but that’s just sort of what young heroes do, right? In fact, his friends actually praise him for his level-headed composure, so it must be good that he’s not freaking out, right? Of course, Killua and Kurapika have both experienced such extreme trauma that it makes sense they’re unfazed by the exam; ultimately, our only example of “normal” reactions is Leorio, who’s framed as a clown for being rightly alarmed by continuous murders.

  But from the start, there is one giveaway that Gon might not be the most level-headed of heroes. Even in the show’s very first episode, he leaps off a boat in the midst of a storm, assuming others will catch him before he actually drowns. At the time, it’s framed as a brave act that brings Kurapika and Leorio together; but as time passes, Gon demonstrates again and again that his signature talent, his “ace in the hole,” is his ability to take his life in his hands without a second thought. All warriors must be prepared to die, but Gon actually seems to flaunt death, driven by an urge that sees his body as of no value whatsoever.

    In fact, Gon is so ready to die that he frequently uses that very instinct as a weapon against his enemies. When faced with a much stronger foe, Gon will readily wager his own life, forcing his opponents into a strange game of violence chicken. When Netero challenges Gon and Killua to make him fight using both arms, Killua fails — but Gon succeeds, by throwing his body at Netero in such a way that the only two choices are “let me win or destroy my skull.” When Gon is matched up against a far stronger opponent during the Hunter Exam finals, he remains undeterred in the face of permanent body mutilation and eventually forces his opponent to stand down. Again and again, Gon asks his opponents, “will you surrender to me, or you will destroy me utterly?” Even those with no compunctions against murder, like Hisoka, hesitate in the face of that - if only to see how far his madness can grow.

  In Greed Island, both the effectiveness and the danger of Gon’s philosophy are made abundantly clear. Gon’s training sessions with Killua and Bisky are dangerous yet efficient, as Gon demonstrates no hesitation in embracing training like “spar with this serial killer for a week.” Through Gon’s behavior, we see that his early friendship with Killua wasn’t a fluke, or just a result of their similar age; Gon has a madness inside him that told Killua they were alike, along with the light inside him that Killua finds inspiring. Killua’s brutal childhood made him strong, but also killed his inner child; that Gon possesses all that strength and rage, but also a light and gentle heart, raises serious questions about his ultimate nature.

    Gon’s self-destructive instincts at last take a toll in Greed Island’s climax. Though Gon has taken his life in his hands many times, he’s never suffered lasting consequences for it, and thus never learned to act otherwise. In Greed Island, his growing confidence and inner fire lead him to gamble his own body, treating his very limbs as “ammunition” to be expended, so long as the fight is won. His friends’ plan didn’t even involve such a sacrifice — but because Gon is Gon, he’s willing to lose a limb just to test whether he can beat some new enemy. Gon doesn’t flinch at violence or pain, even when it’s his own; these qualities make him a terrifying hunter, but also a wildly self-destructive one.

  “Greed Island” is an appropriate name for a game specifically designed for hunters to fight, steal, and kill from each other. There is a hunger in hunters, something that sets them aside from the normal world. And while Hunter x Hunter celebrates that drive, it also emphasizes that people who embody it tend to be selfish, dangerous, or somewhere in between, and all blessed with a dash of madness. It’s no surprise that Ging abandoned his son, and no surprise Gon rushed off to chase him; for hunters, such dangerous, obsessive pursuits are the only ones worth attempting.

    Gon’s monomania, his fanatical devotion to his friends, his willingness to make any sacrifice, and his slanted view of morality are all key elements of his personality, some of the core things that make Gon Gon. But just as these qualities make him strong, they can also betray him, or lead him to stray from his best possible self. In Chimera Ant, Gon’s weaknesses will consume him entirely, leading to one of the greatest reversals in anime history. In Greed Island, the fires that will rage through its follow-up are already set to smolder.

  Who is your favorite anime protagonist? Let us know in the comments!

      Nick Creamer has been writing about cartoons for too many years now and is always ready to cry about Madoka. You can find more of his work at his blog Wrong Every Time, or follow him on Twitter.

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Nick Creamer

[softnaruto]

Shisui with S/O from our universe and she's a princess. Like how would he react when he finds out and maybe sees a photo of S/O in nice princess gown/dress (like she's from europe so she hasn't really ever wore kimono?) and he goes Uwu☺️ sorry for my english 😅

Shisui with a princess! s/o from another universe! 

author: hi hello! So sorry for the late response! I decided to make this into a headcanon to portray the different aspects best! Hope you like it!

pairings: Shisui x female! s/o

words: 1007

genre: fluffy, cute, au

warnings: none; freaking out

The minute Shisui would even hear about the POSSIBILITY of being in love with a princess—especially a princess who wasn’t from HIS world—he would freak out.

He was going through your stuff as you had just moved in with him, and he came upon one of the photos you had taken right before you had been taken into his world. You were wearing a long, elegant black dress, accompanied by your date as you were attending a prestigious ball. The unfamiliar clothing and background made him extremely confused, and when he flipped the image, he noticed a strange date on it.

He turned to look at you as you left a box in the bedroom, and you raised an eyebrow before noticing the photo. You walked over to him, a nervous smile on your face, ready to make any kind of excuse as to not freak him out.

“Hey babe,” Shisui said, “What is this? A costume party? Also, where did you get this dress? I’ve never seen anything like this. You look so beautiful! You also—”

“Shisui, I have to confess something to you.”

He freaked out. He stumbled a bit, kind of laughing and trying to change the subject, but as you kept explaining your situation, the reality hit him.

I mean, hyperventilating. He would have to sit down for a while, his eyes wide with shock and you’d have to hold him in your arms as he realized he didn’t know anything about his world. Although he is thought of to be an individual with the keenest eye in the Uchiha clan, he really was completely naïve to the outer world.

Your world.

“I’m okay and this happened a while back—”

“Okay but YOU’RE A PRINCESS.”

“Yes, but I like being here now.”

“But you’re rich there.”

You’d just have to let him calm down. Hold him for a while, lay with him, tell him you are not in his world against your will, and that maybe at first you were, but now that you had met him you didn’t want to go back.

Kiss him, make him feel okay with the possibility that... there are other universes out there!!!

Once he understood the situation (or tried to understand), he would ask you a few questions. He was on your chest, your fingers softly running through his short hair.

“Where are you from?”

“A country called Spain. It’s in a continent called Europe.”

“A continent?”

“It’s a… well, let me explain. You know how Konoha is in the Land of Fire? It’s almost the same thing!”

He’d feel a bit slow when understanding the concept, but after seeing how similar both of your worlds were (except with the much more advanced technology that he wishes would exist to stop violence,) he would start asking you about yourself.

In fact, he loved the thought of you as a princess. He had always noticed your elegant nature; you were gentle and soft with everything, even as a shinobi. The way you would hold a kunai, your elegant and well-taken care of fingernails wrapped about the sharp object with such… grace. He had never seen anyone be as agile and as graceful at the same time; not even Shisui was as skilled.

He asked if you could wear a dress for him. He had always seen you in regular attire, as you were not used to wearing such attire back at home and liked wearing regular clothes instead, and you… were open to the idea.

“A kimono would look so beautiful on you, you know,” Shisui said, lifting his head from your chest before looking up at you. “I think you’d look even better than in the photo.”

Your cheeks heated up as a blush spread throughout them, and you shook your head, slightly nervous at the idea.

“I’ve never worn a kimono,” You confessed, “I don’t know if I’d like it, honestly.”

Before you knew it, you were standing before a mirror, wearing a beautiful pink kimono that was layered with beautiful flowers. The kimono felt much nicer than the dresses you were used to and you felt much more comfortable in one.

As a child, you were often forced to stand a certain way, act a certain way, and speak a certain way when you were in a dress, but as you stood in front of Shisui, you felt like a brand-new person. His jaw had dropped, and a blush had crept over his cheeks like a sunset spreading over a beach.

“Y/N—” Shisui began to say, but was quickly left speechless.

“What do you think?” You asked, a small smile on your face.

“You really are perfect.” Shisui walked over to you, planting a soft kiss on your cheek before looking at the lady at the counter. “We’ll take it, please!”

Long after the news of your mysterious origin came out, Shisui has not stopped thinking about you in that elegant dress. He would sometimes take the photograph with him on missions, loving the way the dress hugged your curves, wishing he himself would be able to see you like that one day. Although he didn’t want you to feel alone as your family and friends were in another universe, he was happy that you were content with just him.

He needed you too.

Sometimes you would talk in your native language, Spanish, and he would often fall asleep as you’d whisper in his ear how much you loved him. He couldn’t understand, but one day, he would. He’d try to learn about your culture and your way of life before and would try to make you feel more at home.

Shisui is all about making his love and appreciation for both you and your culture obvious. He doesn’t want you to go back, which is the only selfish trait that he has in his body.

The most important part is that his princess was really a princess, after all.

[sepublic]

More fanart of the background characters! I decided to draw the Siamese Freakshow Twins, who show up briefly during the “Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow” sequence.

As for my headcanons on their backstory...

These two were born somewhere around the late 1800′s to early 1900′s. Unfortunately yet unsurprisingly, the two twins were quickly ostracized for their appearance, abandoned by their own mother, and inevitably ended up in a traveling freak-show as young adults. The duo quickly rose to fame, being gawked at by audience members for their unusual appearance and nature, but soon found themselves outclassed by another carny in terms of popularity. 

Although the right-twin (who I’ll call Younger, due to his more optimistic personality and approach to life; He’s the one with the spiked collars) was fine with the loss of attention, the left-twin (who I’ll call Elder, due to him acting like the older brother of the two and being more pessimistic; he has the bow tie and pompadour) was far more jaded. Jealous of the fellow carny, he spread rumors about them, leading to the local townsfolk running the poor performer out of the circus and possibly even lynching them; And despite not having thought of the idea or necessarily supported it, Younger was nevertheless guilty of allowing Elder to get away with this slander in the first place.

Younger was the more optimistic, happy, and hopeful of the two- He wanted to just enjoy things and be content with life, and didn’t desire all too much. Being mocked, bullied, and ostracized for his condition definitely hurt, but ultimately he didn’t care about things like revenge or hatred, and maintained a childlike sense of wonder towards the world. In contrast, Elder was far more bitter, cynical, and insecure about the treatment he received. He acted as the more rational of the two from the very beginning, often making decisions for Younger and bossing him around. 

Elder couldn’t comprehend Younger’s carefree perspective; Deep down, he boiled eternally with rage, pain, and indignation from the mockery and suffering he received from ‘regular’ people. He developed a vengeful personality as a result, and could never quite let go of a grudge, having learned to internalize his hatred towards others, and not understanding how Younger could just ‘let it be’ and let those who hurt them ‘get away with it’. The pain of rejection stung him in particular, and he held that agony close to his heart. The slandering incident wasn’t without precedent- Elder’s bitter nature led him to seek revenge against those he felt had wronged the two through various methods, including sabotage, and even poisoning tormentors. The twins had killed a few long before they betrayed their fellow carny.

Elder still cared for Younger by the end of the day, but inevitably he also developed some abusive tendencies and became strict, reprimanding, and controlling to Younger, frequently reining him in and not letting Younger do what he wanted to do. If Younger wanted to reach out to ‘normal’ people and perhaps make a friend or two, Elder would bitterly berate him for this desire. At times, he even became physically abusive, and although Younger was kind-hearted deep down, his brother’s controlling nature made him both fearful but also incredibly dependent on him for guidance.

The two met their mutual demises when Younger managed to contact and pay a questionable surgeon in advance for an ‘experimental surgery’ that would allegedly separate the two, allowing Younger to live his own happy, independent life... at the cost of Elder’s demise. Despite dependency issues and moral reservations, Younger ultimately yearned for freedom, and though he loved his brother, Elder’s abuse had begun to take its toll. Inevitably, his selfishness won out, and he gambled the duo’s life savings for this sacrificial surgery. Somehow, Younger did all of this without Elder finding out, up until the former drugged the latter, both waking up, tied down to a hospital bed and ready for surgery. Even as Younger happily and hopefully explained the situation, rejoicing for the future while apologizing to his brother, the more realistic and level-headed of the two, Elder, immediately recognized that the twins were about to die horribly from a botched surgery and began angrily berating his twin. Cursing his twin for his selfishness, bringing up how he had done nothing but do what was best for them, Elder panicked as he tried to break free, but then the surgeon reapplied the drug, they passed out...

And they never woke up again- At least, not in the land of the living.

For slandering an innocent person’s reputation (Elder), letting this happen (Younger), and willingly trying to kill his own brother for freedom (Younger), the two were condemned to Hell. In yet another cruel twist of fate, the forms they incarnated in were fused to one another- Even in death they couldn’t get away from each other.

Obviously initial interactions with Younger and Elder were awkward, to say the least... But the two just managed to learn to deal with what happened and kept going about their pained existences, although Elder understandably never forgave Younger for his treachery, even if Younger himself profusely apologized with genuine, remorseful intent shortly afterwards. 

In Hell, where freakish, horrific, and eldritch monstrosities were a natural part of damnation, the twins immediately realized that any attempt at fame would be futile. They tried to make a living by various performances such as juggling and knife-throwing, but amidst the jaded population of Hell, the twins’ unique forms weren’t that special. Still, they joined a traveling circus comprised of both skilled demons, and those with particularly monstrous forms, even by the standards of Hell. Compared to their competition, the twins are nowhere close to the fame they had in their peak in life, something that eternally bothers Elder, while Younger is fine as long as he and his brother have a stable job and people to cheer them on. Elder, on the other hand, is still pursuing fame, under the belief that it will finally grant him and Younger happiness, acceptance, and recognition from others.

Still, while Elder is bitter that Hell is a place he and Younger can no longer as easily find fame, Younger is delighted by Hell’s unconventional immortality, and the fact that among other demons, he and Elder are practically normal and fit in. There are still the occasional demons who insult and deride them, but Elder manages to find some joy in Hell in realizing that he can more easily get away with violence and murder.

[princeescaluswords]

Stans uphold "Stiles is always right" even though they know it to be false so they deliberately warp canon events to make it so. Even if it makes no sense. But should something go terribly wrong, then it isn't his fault. But it is Scott's fault his dad got hurt, somehow. Because Scott, a brown Latino, is nothing but a guard dog meant to watch over Noah and Stiles himself 24/7, when he isn't detecting if Lydia is attracted to Stiles or not

I’ve already talked about how “Stiles is always right” is a concept that arose from an in-show joke that is easily disprovable by citing examples from every season.  It was never meant by the show to be taken seriously but was used by fans to delegitimize Scott’s position as lead protagonist and hero.   If Stiles is always right, shouldn’t he be in charge?  

Stiles didn’t need to be always right, because he wasn’t in Scott’s pack/Scott’s best friend because of his deductive abilities.  He was in Scott’s pack because he was Scott’s best friend, because Scott’s pack wasn’t a paramilitary unit.  (Deualion’s pack was one where membership was keyed to usefulness – you are the weakest link, Ennis! – and that was shown to be an abomination in werewolf society.)

It is also racist in application, because a cursory glance of content will reveal that the number of times its used against Scott is far greater than it is used against say Derek or Peter.  Count how many times in fiction that Stiles can’t support or abandons Scott because he’s just not smart enough to be alpha, yet, Stiles will cling to Derek, the Lord of Bad Decisions, and Peter, The Alpha Who Got His Butt Whupped by Teenagers Twice, instead.  If Stiles should be in charge because he’s always right and Scott’s not, why not now?  

But I don’t think I’ve dealt with the established problem of “My Dad is Hurt and It’s Your Fault” that Stiles portrayed in Season 1, Season 3, and Season 5.   It was meant by the production to be scenes embodying Stiles as Scott’s foil – contrasting Stiles’s selfishness and pettiness with Scott’s compassion and heroism.  

The first is in Heart Monitor (1x06), where Stiles physically tortures – and make no mistake, inflicting systematic pain repeatedly as a form of punishment is torture, it’s the freaking definition – Scott in response to his father getting hit by a car in a parking lot, which was somehow Scott’s fault because he took a day off from his own troubles.   The second is in The Overlooked (3x10), where Stiles lashes out unhelpfully at Derek and the alpha twins because his father was taken. The third is in The Last Chimera (5x11) where Stiles attacks a half-dead Scott because his father has been injured.   

Now the show tried to demonstrate that Stiles’s failings are not shared by Scott.  He doesn’t get mad at Stiles for being an ass in Heart Monitor.  He took the torture (something that doesn’t sit well with me) and immediately formulated a plan that acknowledged Stiles’ command “you have to do something” which leads to Night School.  He didn’t give in to the same violence and cruelty that Derek and Stiles show in The Overlooked, even when his own mother is threatened by Deucalion. (This is always the scene where those who think that Scott doesn’t grow lose me, because if you think that Scott did the wrong thing even pretending to work with Gerard after Gerard threatened his mother, then you have to admit his refusal to take Deucalion’s veiled threat into account – especially after his terrifying Motel California hallucination – was growth.) And finally, the show doesn’t have Scott beat the crap out of Stiles for attacking him, nor even claim innocence by saying he was dead (Scott never once says “Hey, i was dead!).   

The problem with this is what I term Hero Loading.  Not only does Scott as protagonist have to stop, in the case of Season 5B, the Dread Doctors, La Bete, Theo Raeken and his chimera pack, he also has to make sure that Malia, Liam, and Stiles feel loved and appreciated, even after they abandoned him, tried to kill him, and sold him out, respectively.  

Even though the show tried to back-door a statement that Stiles was wrong with the scene between Natalie and Stiles over Lydia’s catatonic form, it never made Stiles, Malia, or Liam responsible for Scott’s feelings the way they made Scott responsible for theirs.  In fact, it literally had Stiles belittle Scott’s feelings, had Liam ignore Scott’s feelings, and had both Stiles and Liam use Scott’s feelings for their own benefit.  

Now this is my opinion, but they wouldn’t have done this to a white character – wait, they didn’t do it to a white character.    They didn’t have Malia say “I won’t prioritize murdering my mother in revenge over the pack,” because defeating her mother is what she focused on for the rest of the season.  They didn’t have Liam say “I understand that I can’t operate solely on emotional response and that my emotions are not the most important thing, especially when it lead me to almost killing my friend and mentor” because he spent the rest of Season 5b indulging his emotions “I feel like I have to do more than apologize,” charging the Beast alone, etc.   They didn’t have Stiles even admit he was wrong to lie to anyone.  Scott was scolded and punished for acting out of trauma, but Stiles didn’t even have to say “Maybe I shouldn’t have hid what happened to Donovan from everyone.”  

They never gave Scott a moment to be depressed – no slinging wrenches at jeeps for him! – or angry – he was only allowed to be angry when two white boys gave him permission – or even triumphant – he thought La Bete in a school library and was scolded for it and risked his life for him to get its scent and then had to be saved by his freaking dead white girlfriend.    They wouldn’t have done that to a white character, because they didn’t do that to a white character.  

[san-station]

A Quiet Place AU / ATEEZ (Post-apocalyptic)

Chapter 2

↝Word count: 3824

Description: In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends have to survive for their own good and find the safe place they’ve heard about months ago.

Pairing: OC x San.

WARNING: The followed story contains descriptions of violence, explicit wounds, mention of blood, death, depression. If you are easily disturbed, please, stop reading for you own good. 

Note: This story is entirely fictional. The written universe is an adaptation of John Krasinski’s movie A Quiet Place, some terms or actions may or may not be included in the film. 

A/N: Heeey, here's the second chapter! I hope you like it~.

・・・・・・・・

Between the present and the past.

Two hours had passed when Seonghwa and I were walking towards the house, he was carrying two well filled backpacks on his shoulders while I had mine on my back and a bag full of seeds. I sipped a little of water from a bottle we collected after the incident, tossed it to the man next to me and left out a deep breath while thousands of thoughts travelled through my mind..., yeah, I was tired and hating the shitty situation, but we had to stay away from those feelings that could easily overpower us. 

I remember closing my eyes so hard that I could see little white dots resembling stars, my eyelids felt heavy, my head was pounding so freaking much that I believed my dizziness would retained us for a while. Hopefully, I was stronger than I thought, yet I’d rather seen black than witness a bloody feast incapable of moving out of there. It created an obnoxious feeling in my soul and I knew things would get worse after Misuk’s death, I just could feel it.

My hands were still shaking inside my black coat, they were covered by dry blood and dirt; my eyes hurt, they were swollen due to my muted whimpers all the way home. The thing that made my inside ache the most was the fact that I couldn’t properly cry, if I whined, a sharp limb of those monsters will get through my body in a blink. I got a shiver down my spine for just thinking about it. The creatures were blind and unbelievably interminable, and after all, they almost exterminated human race.

The first attack happened on West Virginia, the meteor shower was supposed to be the most wonderful view in two hundred and fifty years, or so was said by NASA. But they guessed wrong, I supposed. I was on my last class in college, I used to study modern arts, specifically oriental painting, I loved how the finest lines gracefully connected with the watercolours could create the most wonderful pieces and honored the tradicional technics forgotten over the past years and the inventions of new methodologies. However, I had other subjects beside painting, like modern dance on Friday and sculpture on Monday and Wednesday, meanwhile, painting was my first and number one topic and I probably could bragged about it, but it's not the time, right? 

It was a Friday night when they showed up. My dance group, four more girls and eleven boys, was leaving the room after a long practice for the Moon Festival presentation. A part of the group was talking about some hard moves they had to clean up before the big day, others were about to go to a pizza shop and get wasted, and I was talking with my best friend Haerin about her new job in the admission office. She applied for a scholarship, but first she needed to work for five months there to prepare curriculum. When I finished packing my towel and bottle of water, I was about to ask her if she wanted to grab a cup of coffee or something, although I found it strange when the phones around me started to beep in unison. 

Kihwang, the oldest members of the group, a sunkissed and blonde guy with a perfect smiles looked from his phone to us, watching everybody's face in shock, he had the door full open for us to get out of there and close the practice room. After a few perplexed blinks, he spoke.

     “I think we need to go to our families as soon as possible, guys…”, his voice sounded almost like a whisper.

“Why?”, Misuk asked with a frown next to her brother Jin, who had an arm wrapped around her shoulders. He was tall, absurdly handsome with his black hair and that grin on his face like if he owned the place. He knew most of the girls in the dance class had a crush on him, after all, he never dated anyone, he didn't have the time...  

“Something's off… the news are odd. They’re talking about the meteor shower but…”, he got interrupted by running footsteps outside. People coming and going started to confuse us even more. I frowned and looked at my phone screen. “Mom” appeared on it, glowing while it vibrated in despair, I knew I had to pick up, but my hands were frozen and I was incapable of realizing what was going on. I just looked at Kihwang's perplexed face and sighed. 

“C’mon man, people are probably talking about how beautiful it is and we’re wasting our time in here”, Lucas, a tall and tan guy said before grabbing his backpack and throw it on his wide shoulders. He was with the group of pizza and drinks, ready to lose control and have a great night. 

And so, it happened. From the dance room’s window, the dark sky illuminated itself with a few falling stars in front of our eyes, they looked beautifully esoteric, a new and wonderful view that captivated us all. However, those were not stars or meteors; when they collided into the city’s ground, the dark sky illuminated itself now with some flares of red and orange like if the bright sun wanted to make act of presence once again with waves of explosive warmth. Screams resonated through the air and we knew what was the most important thing in that moment: get the fuck out of there. 

Our families needed us, we needed to find out what the hell was going on but in a safety way. And so, fourteen of us rushed as fast as we could out of the college structure. Nonetheless, we were face to face with those strange and savage monsters that moved with the wind and attacked faster than a blink. The blind creatures, called by the loud noises as we figured out the eleventh day of the incident, managed to corner us in one of the city’s churches with hundreds of others trying to get to their houses or finding shelter. I never was a religious person, but I begged to anything that was outside of this world to not let us die, yet if we survived, we could all make it together and get to our relatives, at least without Kihwang, who died for us to give us a chance to escape, he ordered it. So, we stayed almost two days after the arrival, the church was pretty comfy and all that jazz, but the reality was that we needed food, water, clean clothes, and yet we needed to know anything about our love ones… 

Twelve of us snickered each other’s houses in the fifth day, we didn’t want to split at any cost, besides the two girls that wanted to stay safe in the religious architecture, no one protested. When we reached my house on the twelfth day, a part of me had died along with my murdered family, I couldn’t cry either because I was too afraid of getting the monsters’ attention. I think I’ve never cried out loud since that day… the place walls were pictures of Picasso with my parents blood, my little sister's body rested aside of them with deep cuts and three holes in her chest, and I only could find my big brother's arm on the couch, nothing more. 

I blame myself for not being there, it was stupid, perhaps I think it was a way to forget that I was all by myself now and I should’ve died with them because it seemed wrong, being the only one left behind on that catastrophe was wrong, I should've died with all the innocent people that suffered the consequences of a terrible causality, I should’ve died with my family, my friends, with Haerin…     

           “Thanks, Ji”, Seonghwa placed the bottle of water in my backpack's pocket and motioned me in gratitude. The gesture got me out of my disturbed thoughts, I shook my head clearing a little the blur that kept me isolated from the world and realized we were near the small building that was our house for the past months. The structure of the place was simple, old-fashioned, weak, deteriorated, the green color was already turning to a filthy gray and big part of it had been damaged over the years. However we liked it, it felt like a real home, it felt safe.

The metal front door had two long golden-ish padlocks that prevent any stranger of get in. I opened my coat feeling Seonghwa’s gaze burning in my back, inside the fabric were two hidden pockets on each side, one had the key to the building, the other one had my most precious belonging, a ring. I inserted the key in both padlocks meticulously and let us in. Seonghwa was the first one to enter, he placed down the three heavy backpacks full of the supplies we got, we were lucky that the creatures didn’t tear up Misuk’s bag; it was a selfish and cynic thought, but we needed everything we came across with to subsist. As soon as we were indoors, I closed the entry without a sound, carried one of the backpacks on the ground along with the seed bags and started to walk. Seonghwa’s steps followed my path all the way through the main floor until we got to a stairway that leaded us, for like it seemed fifteen minutes, to the basement door. We never talk about what happened to Misuk in our way there, I didn’t want to and he respected our space, although we both knew we couldn’t keep it to ourselves for much longer.

Fingertips touched my left shoulder a couple times when we arrived to the last step, I turned to face the man behind me. 

“Everything’s gonna be okay, Jiyeong”, he muttered signing with his hands. Then, he hesitated for a second and grabbed my chin between his thumb and index caressing the skin. “Don't worry about them, they'll understand that it was an unfortunate situation and we couldn't do anything to save her…”, he whispered, our noses barely touching, and I flinched at the sudden sound of his soft and deep voice. The silence of the outside world always had a big contrast from the noisy building, we were in a bubble of meditation and, at the same time, frustration. On the other hand, the building was the alter ego or the whole world, a place full of life and comfort. 

I swallowed hard, my throat was itching harshly for the scream repressed in my lungs. The walls were rough but I preferred to talk inside the soundproof room, so that scream would be unspoked for awhile now, joining the ones hiding from all those horrendous months of struggle. 

My eyes scanned Seonghwa's faces, his blue eyes had concerned drawn in them with dark and deep eyebags, the corners of his lips were slightly up, giving me a sad and small smile. He kissed my forehead with his soft lips, it was a paternal gesture. He let me go and open carefully the door before him. 

Four heads turned to our direction, a blonde mullet was the first thing on my sight when the door closed behind us, it was soundproofed by a material that Yunho had found together with Jongho a few months ago plus some mattresses on the walls, so when Wooyoung screamed a loud “HI”, we all knew that sound would be just for our ears. Sadly… 

“You're full!”, Hongjoong said happily taking away my backpack, he walked to the spot that was our kitchen and left the bag on a big wooden table. We had the building's basement for the ten of us, the rooms were in the back separated by thin walls already built when we arrived, Jongho and Jin divided us in pairs before Jin's death. And because I was the only woman from the dance class that stood with the group, aside from Misuk, we had to share bedrooms. It wasn't amusing at the beginning but we got use to each other.

“What took you so long, Hwa?”, Wooyoung asked. He had blonde hair and he wasn't very tall, but he was fit and had this freaking laugh and a very sharp voice that made my ears bleed everytime he got excited in the practice room; his eyes were light brown, sometimes it changed to a deep green, you just had to look very closely to figure that. “I thought you'd be here at four, but it's almost seven pm…”, he frowned looking at my swollen eyes. Before he could say anything with his concerned eyes, Seonghwa gave him a bag. 

“Help me, please. This is heavy.” 

Hongjoong, the mullet guy, was now unpacking supplies on the kitchen. He was saying something about his new idea: paint a help sign in front of the building for people to see it and rescue us. Or we maybe can help others as well. He was the smallest of the guys in the room, however he was one of the smartest people I’d ever met. His bright smile made you feel warm inside, made you forget about the bad things around you and, of course, it made you smile. He was the one who made the right decisions in there, although he stopped thinking about it the day Jin died.

I walked across the living room were Yeosang was seated on the soft sofa writing on his diary as calm as always. He was usually quiet because he was shy, introverted and kinda small, but he spoke with the truth, no matter how cruel it was. Yet he was someone to talk too 'cause you knew he would listen to everything and would never judge you (well, he usually did) and would give you some advice. His body was covered by a long red fluffy blanket, he seemed so cozy… He looked up at me and gave me a little smile, I barely returned it and kept waking until I got to the kitchen's fridge. The guy next to Yeosang, San, kept his eyes on me the second we walked in, I ignored him proudly. 

I opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of carrot juice that Seonghwa prepared that morning, it made me feel better and I needed it in hopes to make me feel less guilty for a second. Not only we've witnessed the brutal death of a friend, we stood there and had to focus on not being killed, I still could hear the wrecking of Misuk’s bones with every bite they had, the sound of their chewing with her flesh embedded in their sharp teeth that seemed to end in their throat. But I will never forget the smell of her lifeless and bloody body slowly decomposing with every second that passed... 

Fuck. I swallowed hard and tried to calm my shaky hands.

Jongho, the youngest among us, whirled around the place when he appeared from the room he shared with Mingi, a boy with a deep voice and a huge heart who played goofy with Yunho, the tallest and cutest of the group, he was compared to puppies all the time due to his smiley face. Jongho was fit, really, he had wide shoulders, strong arms and legs; also, he was like a manly baby who liked to play around. The mentioned boy caressed my hair abruptly and said a little “hi, Ji” the second he passed me by, he then grabbed an apple from the kitchen table and scanned the room, his smile fading slowly. He frowned and I wasn't ready for his obvious question. 

“Where's Misuk?”, I freeze. All eyes were now looking through the room, then at us with the question mark drawn on their face. The silence filled the walls and I wished they couldn't hear my heartbeat rushing that fast; even though I was used to it on the outside world, the quietness was still overwhelming when the basement was actually full of voices talking here and there. 

San, the boy who kept silence all that time next to Yeosang got up and crossed his arms over his chest. His dark hair felt over his green eyes but I knew he was looking at my filthy clothes. Seonghwa and I shared a quick gaze before I teared apart.  

“Are you hurt?”, his soft baritone voice didn't match his personality. He used to be a rough guy with a powerful and unique presence. The moment we were on stage when we had our presentations, he became madness, a glorious god moving so freely and beautifully that hurt my eyes, a demon possessing the boy’s body just to show the world who was the one and only Choi San. No to mention that he was fucking intimidating when he stared at you directly into your eyes. 

I shook my head denying. Physical I was perfect, mentally I wanted to cry all night long. I walked through the room, passed San and sat beside Yeosang, who stared at me blankly and straighten up on his seat. 

“Ji…”, he whispered softly, I could say that I was the only one who heard him.

“Misuk was always so careless”, San began with a snort. I lowered my head. Not right now, please...

“It doesn't surprise me, to be honest”, he continued, now staring at Seonghwa who had his back to him, Hongjoong was silently trying to figure out what to do with his hands, put the can on the table or throw it to San.

The two tallest boys of all walked to the place from their bedrooms with a sleepy faces. Mingi went to the fridge and grabbed some carrot juice. Yunho smiled when he knew we’ve returned, but happiness banished as soon as he heard San speaking.

“Who was the one who told you two not to go? Oh, yeah, me.” He pointed at the blonde boy next to Jongho, the first one looked awkwardly sad, the younger one just stared at San deadpan. “It was Wooyoung and Jongho’s turn to go for the supplies… But no, the little girls wanted to pick up on an adventure.” Hongjoong then faced the brown and curled haired boy and shook his head to him. 

“Now here you are, Jiyeong. Is that the beasts blood or hers?” 

I felt a lump in my throat, I had nauseous but I knew something for real: I wanted to punch him so hard that the creatures could hear him scream. 

“It’s funny, you know?”, San let out a dry laugh. “I actually told Yunho something was going to happen, didn't I tell ya, bro?”, Yunho opened his mouth to speak, but Jongho interrupted.

“San, stop.” 

“Why?”, San seemed to be offended. I raised my head to face him and he somehow tensed when our eyes met. Maybe because I was silently crying and he felt pity.

“You’re making her uncomfortable… all of us, actually”, Hongjoong said, his smile was gone by now. San huffed, he made his way far from us and walked to the room that was one of the two bathrooms we had. 

“Better her than you”, Yeosang murmured after a few seconds of weird silence and all eyes were on him now with noticeable surprise.  

“Don’t tell me you’re on his side…”, Seonghwa was dumbfound. 

“I don’t do sides”, Yeosang closed his diary. “By all means, we all liked Misuk”, he stood up, tossed the blanket on the couch and walked towards the oldest guy in the room, Seonghwa, “but she was an annoying girl who preferred following her own rules. And, to be honest, she certainly put us in danger more times that I can count”, he glanced at Hongjoong for a bit then at me,  “so, yeah… I’m sort of glad that it was her and not Jiyeong or Seonghwa hyung.”

Seonghwa blinked and approached me by the sofa, he let go a sight and stroked my hair. 

“Well, it was gonna happen eventually, right?” now was Wooyoung the one surprising everyone else. “I guess yeah, poor girl, but I think it's for the best, she was loud as fuck…” 

I barely could take it. The oozing in my ears got me out of reality and I was bringing back the images of the floor, the burgundy liquid splattered on my clothes. How could it be possible they were talking so freely about a traumatic event that just happened four hours ago. Misuk, I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve dying like that… so brutally… 

“You are loud as fuck too, man”, San showed up again carrying two wet brown towels. He tossed one to Seonghwa, who slightly catched it, he handed the other one to me. “Don’t be so damn quiet, Ji. It’s not your fault and we all are happy none of you were eaten up by the creatures. It’s a win for all and we still can go around and keep looking for the-”

“Can you please shut up?!”, I spatted, my anger made me my voice wreak a little bit, I was feeling the need to tear him apart and locked myself inside my room, Misuk’s room, where all her stuffs rested there waiting for her to come back. I stood up.

“You weren't there! You don't even know what happened..., so shut the fuck up, San!”, I took a couple of steps in front of him and point his chest with my index. “You are as annoying as her, you go by your own rules, dontcha? And both of you...”, I pointed Wooyoung and Yeosang, “should be ashamed for thinking about her like that. Fuck you all. You weren’t there when she decided to go for the seed birds by herself, you weren’t there when I, specifically, tell her to open the door of the bird house because she wanted to be more helpful”, my throat was now in so much pain due to my raspy crying voice that almost broke there in front of them. I hated it, I hated not being capable to maintain my voice stabilized, less… weaker.

“You weren’t there when she smiled at us while she was dying…”, I whispered. “She was smiling, guys, and we couldn’t make a move or else we… Ugh… we...”, I couldn’t keep going, my voice finally broke, the anger consumed me and my mind only projected, while talking, the horrendous scene we witnessed. Nobody talked for a minute, but for me it seemed an hour. 

"Jeez…, really… fuck you”. I grabbed the bottle of carrot juice from Mingi's hands and stepped away from the boys. I opened the basement door and leave for an airing, meanwhile, the eight boys seemed to be taken by surprise.

“So… did Misuk die?”, Mingi broke the silence whilst rubbing his sleepy eyes.  

(...)

Masterlist

[edwardslostalchemy]

Tamaki got hit by a quirk eraser??? Those are things??? Oh buddy you weren't kidding when you told me this would be stressful

(More live blogging!! I hope the read more works.)

EIJIRO MY SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok but I interrupt my freaking out to cry slightly cause midbattle he remembers the advice Katsuki gives him and uses it! OK BUT RED GAUNTLET?!?!?! EIJIRO IS GETTING SO STRONG!!

I just love how Izuku is starting to just meet some of the top heroes and people and he's starting to be nonchalant about it (kinda fanboys a little but not as much as with All Might) and everyone else is like "bro wtf you know these people???"

OH SHIT THE QUIRK ERASER TAMAKI WAS HIT WITH CONTAINS HUMAN BLOOD AND CELLS WHICH MEANS THAT IT'S ALL FOR ONES RIGHT????????

No Eri!! I've seen her for 30 seconds but I want to protect her!! D: Poor girl they're destroying her body and repairing it just to sell pieces of it on the blackmarket

Izuku and Mirio having the same thoughts 😭😭 wanting to save Eri and the world and feeling frustrated that they weren't able to do it after learning what was actually going on (Mirio is my new son I don't make the rules sorry)

Eijiro has given me so many feels! His entire back story? Finally? Finding out how scared he used to be and how ashamed of himself that he couldn't act but seeing him now? Taking that step to go save Katsuki, following that villain and capturing him, protectin Fatgum? Ugh he's come such a long way!

Izuku is like "I will never go past my limits ever again" 5 minutes later sipping a caramel mocha frap no whip triple espresso with hot fudge "man now would be a great time to go past my limit"

Honestly fuck Overhaul him and his stupid shit

Oh shit!!! Toga used Izuku's blood to actually help the heroes?? I know it's cause she hates Overhaul and wants to get back at him but holy shit!!!!! What a goddamn twist. I know that they have their own twisted selfish reasons for doing so and they're awful but holy shit!! I've been waiting for the moment she used his blood

Izuku used 100% of his power and should've had broken legs but Eri healed him but she doesn't know how to control it

Izuku: "it's such a kind, gentle quirk" when talking about Eri 😭😭😭😭 and doing everything in his power to protect and save her

Overhaul is fucking ass he's like "through extensive research I've been able to truly understand Eri's quirk neither of you two can ever understand it" like buddy-pal you fucking tortured a child and ripped her body apart so you could make money off of it and be an evil asshole that tried to take down the world that ain't extensive research that's just cruelty

Nighteye is like "The future I see cannot be changed!" and Izuku is like "bitch watch me"

The villain Spinner legit just told Dabi that he has awesome driving skills that he learned from gaming......BRUH

Endeavor is like "Thanks for looking out for Shouto we need to chat All Might" All Might is like "ugh" and Present Mic is like "OH WOW IT'S COFFEE TIME BOYS GOODBYE"

Poor Shouto just wants to train so he can get his provisional license and Endeavor is just like all up in his grill and all the other people he just can't stand? My poor child. He just wants to study and train and then go back to his dorm read a book, eat some cold soba, and cuddle Izuku

Shouto trying to explain to a bunch of children as calmly as possible that he does not have a "peepee" on his costume and that it's for emergency first aid

I adore the fact that Present Mic absolutely loses it and has to grab the mic from whoever Mr. mcsleepyhead is and giving a play-by-play commentary

Endeavor is asking All Might for advice???

Katsuki is like "violence will solve this" and Shouto immediately but calmly saying "no that's where you're wrong" and then Shouto smiling so softly and going "something about broadening their outlook a little bit is something that we should at least be able to do" and you KNOW he's thinking about Izuku. 

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Calling (21)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

Current Word Count -  61,976

MASTERLIST

Chapter Twenty-one - A Kitten In A Birds Nest

It was kind of a relief to realize that the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. You may have handed your virginity over on a sliver platter to him and enjoyed every second but make no mistake, You absolutely hated Bucky Barnes.

“Bucky, get up!” You hissed at him.

Yes, waking up in his arms had been the most transcendent experience of your life. His warmth had surrounded you all night so even deep in sleep you knew you were safe and protected. His arms, one metal, one flesh had cocooned you perfectly, never too tight. Seeing his sleeping face, his expression peaceful and his hair spread over your pillow when you opened your eyes had made a warm fuzzy feeling blossom in your chest.

Then you had looked at the time. It was past dawn and since most days you were woken up by someone walking into your room, he could not be here. He was awake, there was no way he wasn’t. You’d been whisper shouting at him for the last few minutes as you raced around the room, picking up his clothes.

“I swear to god Barnes!”

Still nothing. He was defiantly ignoring you and you’d had enough. Standing over him you attempted to shove at his shoulder but suddenly there was a sensation of falling and the whole room was spinning. You blinked at Bucky in surprise. You were flat on your back on the bed, his forearms resting on either side of your head while his body hovered over yours.

“What the fuck Bucky?”

He didn’t answer, just lazily nuzzled into your neck. You realized with a start that Bucky Barnes was adorably sleepy and was trying to buy your silence with affection.

“You have to go to your own room.” You whined half heartedly.

“You got shot doll, nobody is going to want to wake you up this early.” He groused, his voice thick with sleep.

“But if they do...” You stuttered, his stubble was rubbing against the skin of your neck and it was distracting.

“If they do, what?” He asked.

“They’ll see you.”

“And?”

“That would be bad, very very bad.” You sighed.

He lifted his head to look at you. There was a flash of hurt in his eyes.

“James...”

“I get it, can’t have people thinking you don’t hate me.” He said and rolled off at you.

You were suddenly very cold and it wasn’t just because of the loss of his body heat.

“Nobody can know this happened, because of Tony’s parents.” You stated and he stilled.

It was something you had never discussed or brought up with him before.

“Because I killed them.” He said sadly, resignedly.

“Because Hydra killed them and they used you to do it.” You corrected.

“It was still me. And Tony Starks daughter could never be with the man who murdered his parents.”

“He knows it wasn’t you, he does. He’s not angry, he doesn’t hate you. But the last the last thing his parents saw was your face and thats something he can’t forget. Every time he look at you he remembers it and it hurts him. I can’t risk him feeling that way when he looks at me Bucky, I can’t.” Your eyes were wet as you pleaded with him to understand.

“Don’t worry doll, Tony will never know you’ve been tainted by me. I’ll just be your dirty little secret.” He snapped, pulling his jeans on.

The tears spilled down your cheeks when you heard the way he said those words. Such anger and loathing but it wasn’t aimed at you, it was all for himself.

“Buck wait that’s not what I, Bucky stop!” You yelled the last part when he headed for the door.

You didn’t know what to say, you had just wanted to stop him leaving like this. So you tried honesty, you let your feeling pour out, unfiltered.

“Tony didn’t have to rescue me, he could have let the X-Men do it. He didn’t have to keep me or give me a home, he didn’t have to be so fucking patient with me. He never once snapped at me when I was asking him benign questions every five seconds or when I followed him everywhere, he didn’t make me feel weird when I crawled under his desk or wouldn’t go into a room without listening at the door first. I was freak, a broken thing and he took me in and he didn’t fix me, he stood by me and helped me fix myself. I can’t hurt him Bucky, I just can’t. But I never meant to hurt you either.”

He looked back at you and his eyes were so full of pain it knocked the breath from your lungs.

“You deserve better than me anyway sweetheart. No hard feelings.”

And then he was gone. You wanted to chase after him, to scream at him for saying such things about himself, to kiss him and show him how much you cared. But you just sat on the bed and cried because sometimes, when you hurt someone, you can’t fix it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Eventually hunger drove you from the sanctity of your room. Your heart was aching and you felt heavy with regret and grief. You dragged yourself to the kitchen with a blanket round your shoulders, the soft cotton acting like a shield between you and the world. You raided the cupboards for some protein bars and grabbed a bottle of water before trudging back to your room.

You were so distracted by your grief you didn’t even notice Natasha watched you from the sofa, noting your dejected body language. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion as you waddled away. Something was wrong with you and she was going to figure out what.

“Post mission blues?” She called out.

You paused before poking you head back through the door, you eyes red and puffy.

“I’m fine. Just tired.” You croaked and scurried away before she could call you out on your lie.

You heard her get up knew she was following you so. Natasha could read someone with a single look, she was like a ninja Sherlock Holmes. You couldn’t face her right now so like the brave super soldier mutant you were you ran away, your blanket flapping behind you like a cape.

You raced along the corridors searching for somewhere to hide, you obviously couldn’t go back to your room now. You couldn’t go to the lab, your dad would want to know what was wrong. In fact you couldn’t hide out in someone else’s room for the same reason.

“Psst.” Someone said.

You craned your neck back to see Clint leaning out of the vent in the ceiling.

“Hiding from Nat?”

“How did you know?”

“Nat’s the only one who could put such a fearful look on someone’s face.” he explained, offering you a hand.

You only had a few seconds max before Natasha caught up but if you accepted you’d be stuck in the vents with Clint. Who was much more gullible and easier to lie to. Or threaten into silence. You shoved your water and protein bars into your pockets and jumped up to grab his hand, letting him pull you into the vents. He replaced the grate and held a finger to his lips to silence you. You peered out of the grate to see a silent red head walk underneath it and internally breathed a sigh of relief.

Clint grinned and gave you a thumbs up, pointing behind himself and motioning you to follow. He crawled away and since you didn’t have many other options you followed him. When had your life become this strange? You were following a killer archer through a ventilation system to hide from a deadly former assassin because you didn’t want her to know you’d slept with another deadly former assassin. You couldn’t make this stuff up, It was like some lonely, depressed maniac with an overactive imagination and too much time on her hands was in charge of your decisions……

You followed him for a few minutes before he led you a corner that he’d made a nest in and you snorted. He looked back over his shoulder at you with a raised brow.

“Sorry, it’s just you have an actual nest.” You chuckled.

It’s my man cave, where I come to hide from Natasha. And keep my stuff where Wilson can’t mess with it.” He told you.

Sure enough, there were arrows scattered around and piles of magazines and books.

He settled down and waved around.

“Make yourself at home, me nest su nest.”

“Thanks.” You replied, sitting cross legged and pulling your blanket cape around yourself tightly.

You dug your protein bars out of your pocket and ripped one open with your teeth but before you could take a bite Clint snatched it out of your hands with a look of disgust.

“No. Bad Kitty.” He admonished, bopping you on the nose.

You were close to biting his finger off if he tried that again when he shoved a bag of M&M’s into your hands. You cooed happily and tore them open, digging in. Clint grabbed a handful and settled with his back against the wall, watching you thoughtfully.

“So what’s got your panties in a bunch?” He asked.

You almost flinched at his phrasing but caught yourself. You couldn’t tell him everything but you had to tell him something so you opted for a watered down version of the truth.

“I think I might want something I can’t have and I went after it. Now I’ve hurt other people and I don’t know how I could have been so selfish or stupid.” You admitted.

“Is this about you going after Docherty alone?” he wondered, perplexed by your vague problem.

“Yes…..” You lied.

“Well, it was stupid. You messed up but you know you did and you can’t take it back but you can try to do better next time. But it’s a complicated situation and you did what your heart was telling you to do. That doesn’t make you a bad person, even if people got hurt in the process. Those people you’re worried about love you and would do anything for you, they’ll forgive you.” He said.

You were both talking about very different problems but someone what he said applied to your situation with Bucky. At least you hoped it did.

“If one of your kids did something they knew would hurt you but they didn’t do it because it would hurt you, could you forgive them?” You asked.

“It depends on what it was and whether it hurt them I think. I just want my kids to be happy and safe, that’s all that really matters.”

“So if it made them happy, really really happy and it would hurt them not to do it… You’d forgive them, even if it hurt you.” You clarified.

“As a parent there’s very little your kids could do that you wouldn’t forgive. Even if it breaks your heart, it’s very hard to stay angry at them.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m scared of Tony hating me, being mad at me but I’m more afraid he’d just keep loving me, even when I was causing him pain.” You admitted.

“Ok I’m lost. What are we talking about again?”

“Nothing Clint, it’s fine.” You sniffled.

“Whatever it is, you’ll figure it out. I have faith in you, after everything I’ve seen you achieve.”

“Thanks Clint.”

“Maybe, if you need advice ask Laura. She’s better at this sort of thing. You and Wanda are still coming for the weekend right? I’m flying us to the farm tomorrow morning.”

“You know what? I don’t think this trip could have come at a better time.” You admitted, shoving a handful of M&M’s into your mouth.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After spending a couple of hours in the vents with Clint, throwing M&M’s into each other mouths and seeing who had better aim (him, obviously) you had finally emerged only to land directly in front of a waiting Natasha. You sighed heavily.

“Please don’t. Not yet. I promise I’ll tell you what’s wrong, but I can’t yet.” You admitted.

“Alright Kotonok, you can tell me at the farm, away from here.” She allowed, offering your hand for you to shake on it.

You shook her hand, sealing the pact and knew you would have to admit everything to her soon but at least you had a little bit of time to process it first.

You waved at her and headed off to your room, changing into your sweats and a tank top. You weren’t allowed to spar or work out for at least a week, until your shoulder healed up but you figured that you could at least use the treadmill. Even if you weren’t supposed to, what Bruce didn’t know couldn’t hurt you. Besides, you really needed a way to release all the pent up energy inside you, you needed an outlet.

The problem was, you weren’t the only one. As soon as you walked into the gym you saw him. He was going to town on a punching bag, like it had personally offended him. Probably imagining your face on it. He stilled as he heard you come in, the muscles on his back tensing. He stood like that for a second before continuing like nothing was wrong.

You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t be in the same room as him. Every single cell in your body was begging you to run to him. It was like there a string tied around your heart and he was tugging on it.  You turned on your heel and walked back out but you couldn’t bring yourself to just leave without saying anything, there was something he needed to know.

“You said I deserved better than you. That’s not true. Even when we were fighting, when I was being cruel to you, you dragged me away from those journalists. You could have just got me away from them and called it your good deed for the day but you took me to the one person who could help me. You had my back in the field, leaving the main fight so I wouldn’t be alone. You have never once mentioned what you must have seen that day, when you saw Vernichtung. You came after me on a date because you were worried about me. You forgave me for hurting you and held my hand at my mothers funeral. I don’t deserve better than you, I don’t even deserve you at all. But Bucky, I want you. I need you.” You told him, sighing and walking away.

“You have me.” He whispered, but you were already gone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I DID IT! I got the chapter done! WOOOO! Fuck you mean anons, and thank you nice, kind people who helped build my confidence back up. All the private mesages and anonymous kind words made me feel supported. 

Next Time On Name Calling - Reader and the girls go to the farm and reader finally meets a chicken. 

I write Clint as a weird blend of MCU Clint and comic Clint, I don’t really know why. 

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@chook007@thejourneyneverendsx@thelostallycat@inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher@kendrawr-kitkat@phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real-wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt@meganjonezzzz

@dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty@memanda17@krystallynx@theonelittleone

@piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard

[uneryx]

Renee Gets Salty About Dark Magic

This post got long, and got away from me, so I’ll tl;dr it

1. dark magic is a metaphor for consumption and materialism and is ultimately bad because it harms others unnecessarily and is not a sustainable resource

2. the elves were dicks for banishing humans but (especially if humans sucked all the magic out of the land themselves) they were kind of justified, even if it was an extreme measure

3. Eating meat is not the same as dark magic if you’re looking at things from an animistic point of view, which the elves likely do

4. it’s okay to like problematic characters and you don’t have to portray Ezran as a monstrous enfant terrible to feel okay about thinking Viren is justified in what he does.  In fact, pretty please stop doing this, everyone in all fandoms. It’s fine if you don’t like the protags but that doesn’t mean you get to say Ezran or Rayla or whoever is EVIL. It’s called Ron the Death Eater and it’s a fandom trope that has pissed me off for going on fifteen years. Deliberately misreading the text isn’t cute. Stop doing it.

5. The show isn’t over, be patient, you’ll probably get to see some comeuppance for stuff anyway. And if you don’t, there’s always fanfiction. 

6. For the love of baby adoraburrs please tag posts that go in the vein of “the writing is bad because Viren is portrayed as a classic villain/elves good humans bad/the protags aren’t held accountalbe” with “TDP CRITICAL” I would greatly appreciate it because I’m getting super annoyed with posts that deliberately misrepresent canon to uphold a favored side and it’s affecting my enjoyment of the show. Now! Actual long and discourse-heavy post under the cut!

 Ugh I don’t want to start a big ol’ argument with people because I’m still on vacation and don’t want to spend the rest of today arguing about cartoons on the internet, but this has been on the kettle for a while and I feel QUITE STRONGLY about some of these things, so just... let me express my views here and don’t come for me because I’m about to talk about religion and sociology. 

Dark Magic is a metaphor for unchecked consumption and capitalism.  1. The theory i’m seeing floating around that got my dander up is that the elves and dragons drained the western half of the continent of magic to keep magic away from humans. I think that, based on what we’ve learned from canon, this is highly unlikely and would be weaker writing than what I think actually happened. Instead, Dark magic was going on for a good solid 800 years (Rise of Elarion is 2000 years before canon) before Sol Regem faced off with Viard (1200 years before canon). The division of Xadia was another 200 years after that. Humans had a solid honking millennium of unchecked dark magic. It is quite likely that the reason the west is entirely devoid of magic, and that humans were banished there, is because they sucked all the magic out of that half themselves. Poor innocent baby humans nothing. They got a taste of power and progress and, like real world humans, let that get WAY out of control.

2. “But Lujanne eats bugs, she’s a hypocrite for saying Claudia can’t squish bugs for pancakes” I want you to go down to your local new-age/witchy bookstore and find yourself an animist that eats meat. You are going to get glared at SO HARD if you whip out the “you think animals have souls but you eat meat!” chestnut. Because here’s the thing.

Eating meat/animal products is an act of life, necessary to sustain the life of someone else. We don’t vilify wolves for eating deer. You gotta eat to live your life, and the human (or, we can assume, bipedal humanoid) diet includes a need for complex protein chains, quite often found in animal meat. 

But the reason that we find cannibalism repulsive in western society is because it’s eating another human, despite the fact that humans are made of meat. It’s eating something that we consider sentient, dignified and possessed of a soul. Of course, the taboo also derives from the fact that you can contract prion disease from consuming human meat, but people in 11th century Normandy didn’t know that.  It is quite likely, especially given what we’ve seen of magical creatures and Ezran’s ability to talk to animals, that elves view non-human/elf creatures as sentient and possessed of a soul. If that’s the case, then OF COURSE they would see dark magic as horrific.

But eating meat is not on the same level because, as we see from the assassins, death is a part of life, and sometimes necessary. I imagine that hunting and taking a creature’s life for food is an act that is done with respect. The creatures are honored or thanked before they’re eaten or turned into leather. Highly ritualized to dignify that creature’s life.  Dark magic doesn’t do that. Dark magic sucks the whole life out, without so much of a how do you do.  It’s treating a person like a thing. It’s sucking all the life and essence out of someone so you can shoot fireballs or make fluffy pancakes. Lets be real - you don’t need to do either of those things, so the creature thus died in vain. 3. “The elves are selfish bastards for hogging all the magic.” I agree. Granted, their attitudes may have cooled in the ensuing centuries. It’s a new dawn, the era of Zubeia. We might see elves getting over their uppity selves and working to help teach humans magic. We might also see the show explore that kind of prejudice as Callum learns more magic. In fact, I hope we do. However, two wrongs dont make a right.  If Japan bombs the absolute fuckshit out of Hawaii, that does not make it okay to flash-fry Nagasaki with a weapon that blights the land and its people for years and years afterward.

To the elves (who are magical creatures and therefore totally usable as spell components), that’s what dark magic is. Suddenly, haha oh fuck, the humans have a fucking NUKE that every elf and dragon in Xadia is vulnerable to.  If a weapon was devised that ONLY a certain portion of the population was affected by, you better bet your sweet bippy that people would panic and make it forbidden and illegal, and severely punish the people who created it. ESPECIALLY if those people were already marginalized. Sucks, don’t it? Doesn’t mean the writing is bad for portraying people having a realistic reaction to something that is harmful to them. The elves aren’t justified in hogging the magic, and I hope future chapters will explore that. But the elves ARE a liiiiiittle bit justified in freaking out. I hold they could’ve come up with a better solution than BANISH HUMANS, but they didn’t. Makes for interesting story conflict, doesn’t it? 4. “Humans NEED dark magic!” / “Calling dark magic a shortcut is dumb” Did they tho? Did they really? Really really? We, modern day humans, don’t NEED smart phones (which rely on several rare earth minerals and are causing untold ecological disaster in areas where they’re miend). We, modern day humans, don’t NEED coal power (which is controlled by coal companies, who keep telling us that we totally do, despite many scientists saying that renewable energy is ready to go whenever). We don’t NEED blackberries from Mexico year-round, or a whole hell of a lot of the things we have come to rely on and consider part of our every day lives. All of these things are unnecessary and shortcuts to progress.

The only - ONLY! - good, necessary thing we’ve seen in canon that dark magic was required for was using the magma titan’s heart for saving people from famine.

A lot of the complaints about sustainable energy and efforts to heal the planet as climate change become increasingly a crisis stem from the fact that doing things RIGHT, in a way that is sustainable and doesn’t strip every last resource out of our home, is that it takes time. It takes SO MUCH TIME to do things properly. Yeah, we can keep going with our coal and our gas-guzzler cars and our fracking and our rare-earth metals... but we ARE going to run out. And then what?  Dark magic is the same principle. Eventually, you’re going to run out of resources. 

5. Where I think the show is going My main beef with those (and there’s a lot of ya, so I’m not intending to single anyone out) who say that the writing is lazy for dark magic bad elfs good is that the show is not over. Wonderstorm is doing their damndest to give us the saga. And they’ve said, out right, that there WILL be books, if nothing else.

You can’t judge a story’s merits when it’s only been half told. Right now, what the show has done is it has shown us the worst and best of the elves (for example, Khessa’s purity test vs Rayla refusing to kill Ez so she doesn’t perpetuate a cycle of violence) and the worst and best of the humans (ex: Viren forcibly turning thousands of people into monsters against their will vs Viren risking his life in order to save thousands of people from famine). The show has done well to demonstrate that there is good and bad in everyone, and it’s the choices you make and the respect you show others’ autonomy that makes you a good or bad person. The dominoes are in place. The saga has only begun. Being mad that Ezran burned an army (that he likely knew from Soren was invulnerable to fire) or that Aanya shot Kasef in the face (when Opeli would have told her that Kasef conspired behind Ezran’s back to usurp the throne, which is AN ACT OF WAR btw) means you aren’t looking at the big picture. There WILL be consequences for those actions in later seasons, mark my words.

I’m sorry if you’re a Viren or Claudia stan, but they have made choices that hurt other people, and it is in no way shape or form Ezran or Callum or Rayla or ANYONE ELSE’S fault that they made the choices they did. Instead of being mad at the show for not portraying your fav as an innocent victim, be glad that you got such a wonderfully complex set of villains who, quite likely, will get a bomb-ass redemption arc. In fact, I’ll bet you anything that Viren’s walk back from the edge has already begun. The dude fucking DIED, and he’s not going to be eager to get in there and get all grabby with the power any time soon. 

That’s what good writing IS - conflict. Tension. People making morally questionable choices. We like it because every day people are hypocrites and morally questionable. You, and I, and everyone we know. Nobody’s perfect and getting cranky and painting the protagonists with the broad villain brush so you can feel good about liking a problematic fave is... some peak tumblr bullshit, tbh.  It’s okay to like characters who aren’t perfect. How fucking boring fiction would be if everyone was perfect.

Now if I can ask my mutuals to please tag their criticisms of the show that go in the vein of “the writing is bad because dark magic is portrayed so negatively/they don’t hold the protags accountable/elves good humans bad” with “TDP critical” I would greatly appreciate it. It’s getting to the degree where things are becoming very not fun and making me cranky.  Thank you, Renee out. 

[fortunatelylori]

GOT: That awkward moment when Daenerys Targareyen turned into Mount Vesuvius

Oh, rejoice all you Dany critics, all you Jonsas and all you Sansa stans! Our deliverance is here! From this day on we can finally shed the shackles of the anti-Dany tag, stop censoring the conqueror’s name and go wild in the Daenerys Targareyen tag! Dark Dany has arrived! 

Praise be! Praise be!

General impressions

This was, by far, my favorite episode of the season. Miguel Sapochnik really delivered on this one. It looked stunning, the fighting was interesting and realistic in that it showed the type of carnage that is handed down when an army attacks a highly populated city and the visual effects were incredibly impressive. 

This shot right here might just be one of my all time favorite GOT shots: 

It was also, frankly, a relief to finally have Dark Dany out in the open. The show has skirted around the issue of Dany’s turn to the dark side since season 2. If you were shocked by what happened in this episode and think it came out of nowhere, you have no one to blame but yourself. In this corner of the fandom we have been speculating Dany would end up burning King’s Landing for years. 

Also ...

That’s season freaking 2, you nincompoops!  

And they really weren’t stingy on the Mad King imagery now that the Her Darkness is here. Dany starts the episode looking like this: 

What is the most pressing thing on khaleesi’s mind? 

Girl! If you’re so worried about Jon’s lustrous, romantically jealous, always put together cousin, do yourself a favor, put a comb through that hair, slap some foundation and blush on and get a freaking grip! You need to be bringing your A game to this fight!

Luckily, Tyrion decides to give Dany the incentive she needs in order to tend to her person hygiene ... Getting ready for an execution, of course!

Dany is wearing a piece from the Targareyen nuclear winter collection. Very avangarde. 

Things don’t improve from here and, as we all know, she ends up Dacarys-ing her entire fandom: 

The city surrenders, the bells ring just as Tyrion had stressed through out the episode and Dany ponders ... She’s come to Westeros expecting to be embraced and loved. Being loved and accepted is very important to Dany. Without those two things, granted unconditionally and uncritically, she feels undervalued. King’s Landing ends up paying for that lapse in adoration: 

This episode, GOT decided to take a break from ripping off How to Train your Dragon and decided to rip off Pompeii (2014) instead: 

Pompeii:

GOT:

Pompeii:

GOT: 

Pompeii: 

GOT: 

So yeah, guys! Daenerys Targareyen is a cataclysmic event! Can I get a hallelujah? Cause this delulu, sexually frustrated, teenage soccer mom is having fun!

Apart from the sweet taste of vindication giving me LIFE, the reason why I enjoyed this episode so much is that it focused on the 3 characters who actually had an arc this season. Apart from Dany, those are: 

Arya Stark

I think the most important line Arya has uttered this entire season was this: 

Arya: I know death. It has many faces. I look forward to seeing this one. 

In true GOT fashion, be careful what you wish for. Arya is confronted with the most extreme versions of death imaginable, first in the specter of the Night King and his armies. And now, in the shape of Daenerys Targareyen and her dragon raining fire on a defenseless city. 

And while the White Walkers rattle Arya’s cage, they don’t manage to break through it. Her reaction to the destruction of King’s Landing is far more emotional than what she experienced during the Battle for the Dawn. 

I think that’s because the White Walkers were existential threats, catalysts of violence. They were not willfully cruel, they weren’t there to punish. They had a purpose and they served that purpose until the end. 

The destruction of King’s Landing, on the other hand, is a human act. Someone makes the decision to destroy this city, burn people alive, murder and rape them. Daenereys chooses to do this: 

The Stallion that Mounts the World serves Arya the most extreme lesson in revenge she could have ever gotten and the results finally break through Arya’s shell. 

Another top ten GOT shot: 

This is so visually striking! The blood framing her eyes just jumps at you. She looks like a rag doll on the verge of being tossed against a wall. This girl who has gone through such harrowing experiences, the brilliant assassin who ended the Night King is now in danger of being squashed as if she were an ant. 

It really drives home not just the immense power Dany is wielding but also that in being rendered powerless, Arya always manages to find strength in herself and her basic empathy: 

I’m really curious how her arc is concluded next episode. 

Jaime Lannister

I was never a Braime shipper so, while I get your dissapointment, guys, I definitely don’t share it. I absolutely love how Jaime’s arc was concluded. I do think there will be differences in the books (I still believe Jaime is the valonqar). However this: 

was foreshadowed back in season 1: 

Cersei: Jaime and I are more than brother and sister. We shared a womb. We came into this world together. We belong together. 

Jaime’s story started with Cersei, he dedicated more than 20 years of his life to this relationship, to the detriment of everything else in his life. It feels natural to me that his arc would end with hers, as well. 

I think, in a really sad way, Brienne was Jaime’s last stitch attempt at getting Cersei out of his system. That would explain his awkwardness during their sex scene. And it almost worked, because Brienne is someone Jaime cares about. However when faced with the possibility of Cersei dying, Jaime goes back to her because he can’t bare to let her go through that alone. 

I mean ... if you look up the definition of tragic couple, I half expect a picture of Cersei and Jaime to pop up. And I find it supremely ironic that the couple who shocked and disgusted everyone back in season 1, now gets a tearful reunion, the male character fighting a death duel to get back to the woman he loves and the woman who hardened herself against everything finally becomes human in the arms of the only person she truly wants.  

This, to me, is love ... 

Yes, I’m fucked up. Let’s not dwell on that! 

However, as much as I enjoyed watching these three characters make their way through this episode, there are still two things that managed to tarnish this episode for me. 

Let’s start with the obvious, shall we? 

Jon Snow

This used to be Jon Snow, back when he had a POV and a spine.

In this episode Jon Snow stands idly by while a man gets burned alive: 

Jon’s POV continues to be blocked and, at this point, I’m tired of trying to figure out what is going on behind the curtain. I’m just not willing to do it anymore, simply because Jon’s actions this episode speak louder than any supposed intention he might have in acting the way he does.

I want you to follow this conversation very carefully: 

Varys: We both know what she’s about to do. 

Jon: That’s her decision to make. She is our queen. 

Varys: Men decide where power resides, whether or not they know it. 

Jon: What do you want? 

Varys: All I’ve ever wanted. The right ruler on the Iron Throne. I still don’t know how her coin has landed but I’m quite certain about yours. 

Jon: I don’t want it. I never have. 

Varys: [...] You will rule wisely and well, while she ...

Jon: She is my queen. 

This discussion is crucial to the ultimate question of whether or not Jon Snow bares responsibility for what happens in King’s Landing. And I would say that based on this, the answer is a resounding yes. 

Varys starts plotting in episode 4, the moment he realizes that Dany is about to treat King’s Landing and all its inhabitants to some good ol’ fashion fire and blood. He tells Jon in this scene that they both know what she’s about to do. Jon doesn’t contradict him. He hankers down on the “whatever my queen wants” party line. 

Whether or not Jon is political or simply a idiotic coward, the fact remains he knows enough of Dany at this point to figure out there is a strong possibility that she will sack the city and many, many innocent people will die. Varys is trying to get him to act. He’s had chances to formulate some sort of resistance against Dany since episode 1. He has chosen not to. He’s chosen not to plot against her, he’s chosen to tell her the truth about his parentage instead of using it to his advantage, he’s chosen to abandon the dragon he could have used against her and to keep those closest to him in the dark about his motivations. 

He’s made his choices. If he’s done it out of love for Dany, than he’s an irresponsible and selfish fool. If he’s done it to protect the North and his family, he has done so at the expense of everyone else in Westeros. Either way, these are the consequences: 

This man, and I’m very sorry to say it, is not fit to be anyone’s king. In this episode he barely manages to keep his men from killing indiscriminately and raping women. He doesn’t even take charge of protecting civilians and trying to take them to safety, the way Arya does. 

Instead, Jon drags his men after him and runs from the city with his tail between his legs.... 

I just .....

My other point of contention with this episode doesn’t really have much to do with the episode itself but rather that the set-up for the pay-offs delivered here wasn’t done properly in past episodes. For example: 

Cersei’s downfall: We all knew it was coming and it was bittersweet and moving. However they’ve given Lena Heady barely anything to do all season. She’s had a total of 4 scenes so when the end eventually comes, it feels shortsighted and incomplete. 

Claganebowl: Another one that was telegraphed in advanced. The scene itself is brilliant however the set-up for it is so hamfisted. The Ds couldn’t think of another way these two could meet but for Sandor to just up and decide with no prior warning that he’s going to KL. Why now so damn particularly? In that vein, The Mountain is supposed to be a mindless zombie. How come he is now perfectly capable of disobeying orders from both Cersei and Qyburn? 

Arya’s story: As I mentioned, I absolutely loved Arya in this episode. However, I can’t help but wish they had put more work in her POV and in her revenge vs. humanity dilemma to truly make Sandor’s advice and her journey through the burning city as emotionally rewarding as it could have been. 

Tyrion: I get that I’m not allowed to understand what the hell is going on with Jon, but why has that extended to Tyrion all of a sudden? Tyrion starts off the episode betraying his only friend and condemning him to a fiery death and for the life of me I don’t understand why. He’s clearly terrified of Dany. Considering her state of mind when he informs her of Vary’s betrayal, she’s one step away from executing him as well. When he sets Jaime free, he seems resigned to being executed by her later on. So why not try to work with Varys to overthrow her? It certainly isn’t that he thinks she’ll make a good queen. He can’t possibly think that in this episode. Is it greed and desire for power? They haven’t done a good enough job for me to buy into that wholesale. So what is it? 

Favorite scenes: 

The “Are you unforgiven too?” scene: 

So close, no matter how far Couldn't be much more from the heart Forever trusting who we are And nothing else matters

All the while, the Lannister theme plays in the background .... PERFECTION!

The “Love Thy Brother” scene: 

I know I criticized the set-up but the scene itself is spectacular. The visuals alone are breathtaking. The fighting is brutal and absolutely horrendous. And the two of them falling into a bottomless pit of flames, feels particularly chilling and sad considering the Hound’s fear of fire. 

My favorite part of the scene, though, is the cutting back and forth between Sandor and Arya. Coupled with their conversation that convinces Arya to give up her list, this creates a wonderful parallel between the two characters and a nice bookend to their twisted but, surprisingly, poignant relationship. 

The “In the queen’s ashes” scene: 

Maisie Williams has been a real champ this season. And this episode, in particular, was her coup d’grace. I absolutely loved her acting in this scene. On top of that, the imagery of the destruction around her, the eerie quiet after the chaos that had come before and ultimately the discovery of the charred bodies of the woman and child she had tried to rescue, with echos of the Stark theme in the background, make this a truly outstanding scene.

It becomes even more poignant when you think that this is the city that started Arya’s tragedy when her father was executed and her book wish that King’s Landing would burn to the ground. When faced with the reality of it, Arya finds empathy, not satisfaction.

In the BTS, the Ds compare Arya to Virgil taking her journey through hell and it truly feels that way. Up until she jumps on that horse and fades into the fiery landscape.

Beautiful!

Episode MVPs:

Lord “It’s been an honor, sir!” Varys

I’m going to nominate only one MVP for this episode because this man truly is in a league of his own.

He is the true hero of this episode and the fantasy show equivalent of a martyr. He is the only one ... THE ONLY ONE ... that actually tried to stop Dany from committing genocide. And as thanks for his bravery and commitment to saving innocent lives, he was betrayed by his best friend and burned alive.

[murasaki-murasame]

The moral of Ao no Flag chapter 44 is that Shingo is definitely the kind of person to be like ‘I vote third party because both political parties seem equally bad to me’.

Anyway, oh boy do I have some Thoughts on this chapter, which will be under the cut.

This is definitely gonna be a really polarizing chapter for a lot of people, and in a lot of ways I’m nervous about where it’ll go, and which characters Kaito is being more sympathetic toward here.

Since this whole chapter was about characters talking about homophobia from different angles, I may as well just jump straight into it as well and talk about the ideas and themes being discussed here.

To be blunt, Shingo’s attitude in this chapter pisses me off because it’s the kind of ‘neutrality’ that actively benefits oppressors and abusers. It’s the kind of attitude that just keeps victims from being able to defend themselves, and that allows abusers to keep hurting people. It’s the type of middle-of-the-road nothingness that supports the status quo, which in practice just means that people like him just end up sitting back and watching homophobes beat up gay people and all they feel like doing is going ‘hmm I dunno guys, both sides seem equally at fault here :/’. This is exactly the sort of situation where the idea of the paradox of tolerance comes into play. If you express universal tolerance toward everything, including intolerance, that just creates a situation where bigots and abusers get free reign to hurt people, which is obviously a bad thing. The only way to actually take any meaningful steps to punishing and preventing bigotry is to accept the fact that not everything deserves to be tolerated, and that punishing hatred is not morally equivalent to hating and hurting innocent people.

The situation with Touma and Kensuke pretty bluntly illustrates the imbalance of power and blame that lies at the heart of this. Literally the only thing that Touma did was being gay and having a crush on his best friend. And on the other hand, Kensuke decided to step into this situation that didn’t involve him at all and physically assault Touma over it. Acting like those two things are on any level meaningfully equivalent is cowardly and selfish. Kensuke’s own feelings and personal history are a separate topic that at this point have nothing to do with the immorality of how he treated Touma. Particularly because what Touma did has literally no direct connection to Kensuke. All Touma did was just tell Mami that he likes Taichi, and Kensuke was outside of the room eavesdropping. He wasn’t involved in the conversation at all, and he wasn’t even the subject of Touma’s feelings. He just went out of his way to force his own insecurities and baggage and bigotry onto a situation that has nothing to do with him. Maybe if it was a situation where, like, Touma had a crush on Kensuke and suddenly kissed him and Kensuke freaked out about it, then his past trauma might at least somewhat excuse it, but that’s not what happened.

Even though on paper the topic of male victims of rape is something that should be discussed and respected, I feel like it was kinda haphazardly thrown into this chapter to try and make Kensuke seem even somewhat sympathetic, even if it didn’t really work. As I said, the fact that Touma was talking about having feelings for someone other than Kensuke, and that Kensuke wasn’t part of the conversation at all, means that there’s absolutely no room to act like Kensuke’s trauma has anything to do with it. Him having past trauma because of some other gay person he knew doesn’t give him the right to randomly beat up any other gay person he knows about. Again, it’d be one thing if Kensuke was actually part of the conversation, or the subject of Touma’s feelings, or if Touma actually acted inappropriately toward him in a way that would be triggering, but, yet again, literally all Touma did was tell Mami that he likes Taichi, and Kensuke decided to go out of his way to barge in and assault him. Besides, if we’re going down the route of moral equivalency, it seems hypocritical for Kensuke to use his own past assault to completely ignore the fact that he also assaulted Touma. If they want to play the both sides card to get sympathy points, they don’t get to have it both ways and ignore Kensuke’s own assault toward Touma.

Which is it’s own thing, really. That most people who try and play the devil’s advocate centrist role aren’t actually what they seem to be. They’re usually not arguing in any sort of good faith. More often than not, they have their own biases and prejudices, and don’t in fact see everything equally. They just use the idea of politeness and tolerance to try and guilt-trip people who want to point out that it’s shitty of them to beat up a gay dude just for him being gay.

On the one hand, you can definitely say that Mami’s friends were inconsiderate and disrespectful toward Kensuke’s past assault, but honestly that whole plot point felt so transparently like ‘a plot point’, so to say, that I can’t even really suspend my disbelief over it, so I can’t exactly blame them for not caring. It’d be one thing if these were real people talking about real experiences, but since they’re just fictional characters, in this sort of situation I think what matters more is the author’s own intentions and methods in how and why they chose to bring this sort of thing up in the first place.

I was kinda hoping that there might be more layers to the whole situation with Kensuke, but nah it really was exactly what it seemed to be right from the get-go, and he really is just inexcusably bigoted and awful. But at least I expected that. I’m more disappointed with Shingo for deciding to completely throw Touma under the bus in order to try and protect Kensuke and his gross homophobic violence. He’s very rapidly losing points with me after this chapter, to be honest. Even on top of how incredibly rude he’s being to Touma by more or less accusing him of being just as bad as Kensuke, it seems really shitty of him to suddenly be defending Mr. “I have literally no choice but to treat men and women differently and to treat all women as sex objects and all gay men as rapists. I am just a smol creacher I cannut help it uwu” after the whole flashback with him sticking up for Mami and validating her desire to just be seen as a person and not as a woman. It kinda makes him seem really fake and two-faced in retrospect.

Not to mention the last minute implication that the blonde girl is apparently Shingo’s girlfriend, which makes his attitude seem even more shitty, honestly.

I honestly have to wonder if there’s some deeper reason why he seems to be pretty much abandoning his morals so he can aggressively double down on defending Kensuke’s actions at all costs. It just seems like a bit of an unnatural 180 for him.

And then there’s the whole scene with Futaba and co at the end of the chapter. Which is it’s own whole thing. I don’t really have much to say about it, but I do gotta admit that the whole way that they’re hammering in this idea of it being rude to Futaba for anyone to wish that Touma and Taichi could have gotten together is kinda feeling more and more uncomfortably meanspirited as time goes on. I dunno exactly how to put it, but especially after the whole “Touma’s apparently just as bad as Kensuke and apparently deserved to get assaulted for being gay” thing, it just seems all kinda of uncomfortable and loaded with all sorts of potential baggage that we immediately then had a whole scene of Mami basically going “you shouldn’t care so much about Touma’s feelings, you should just prioritize yourself and be happy about the fact that YOU’RE the one who ended up dating Taichi instead of Touma”. It really just seems like Touma’s getting shit on from all sides of the equation here. In a lot of ways it doesn’t really help that I don’t even think Taichi and Futaba’s relationship is that interesting or deep, so it’s just kinda annoying to see it get propped up and used as ammunition for this weird guilt-trip-y ‘if you want Touma to be happy, that just means you hate Futaba and her relationship with Taichi’ attitude.

Then there’s the whole thing at the very end of the chapter with Futaba unintentionally striking a raw nerve by being all cliffhangery and suddenly bringing up the [not-so-]hypothetical situation of Masumi being in love with her. I’m curious to see how that goes, but let’s just say that I don’t really want Masumi to also get shit on in the next chapter after what happened in this one, lol.

On the note of Masumi, we also finally got confirmation that she, for one reason or another, suspected that Touma was gay before she eventually became certain of it. I’m still curious to see if there’s any specific reason why she suspected it that early on, but I guess we’ll see.

Most of all I really wanna see more of Taichi’s thoughts on everything, since he’s been kinda non-existent for the last few chapters. Though I’m a bit nervous about whether or not I’ll even like what happens when we get a deeper look into his head.

At least for the time being I’m not going to personally judge Kaito for what happened in this chapter, since at the very least everything the characters said is more or less realistic for how teenagers talk about these things, but the big question is just which side of the argument Kaito wants us to sympathize with more in the long run. It’s one thing to just present different sides of an argument in a piece of fiction, but when it becomes clear that you as the author personally advocate for one over another, then it’s something worth talking about, one way or another.

This was really negative and ranty, but it’s not like I hate the series or anything, lol. I mean, my opinion on it might take a sharp downward turn if it becomes clear that Kaito just wants to throw Touma [and Masumi] under as many buses as possible while cozying up to violent homophobes, but we’ll see if it gets to that sorta point.

I’m just particularly sensitive about these sorts of centrist, willfully ignorant attitudes because they’re so directly at fault for so many of the world’s current political problems.