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daggerzine · 1 year

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The interview: Inside the mind of Aug Stone.

Aug Stone is a writer, musician, comedian and probably a few other things i am not aware of. I first got turned on to him in his terrific book Nick Cave’s Bar. Then, shortly after that, came The Ballad of Buttery Ass Cake, his latest novel which was even better than the Cave one. I wanted to know what makes this guy tick so I shot some questions his way and he was more than happy to answer.

Read on and check out his website, too (listed at the bottom of the page...lots o’ goodies there).

Ladies and gentlemen, i present, Aug Stone!

On stage in Brooklyn.

When/where did the writing bug come from?

AS: I was working at a temp job at a bank in Boston after I graduated college in 1998 and I kept making notes on the adding machine paper. I had no real plans for what I was jotting down. But I was a voracious reader at the time, trying to devour all of Nabokov, Evelyn Waugh, and Martin Amis. At my next temp job, they only needed me for certain tasks so a lot of time was just spent waiting at my desk and I continued to write down whatever popped into my head. During this time I realized a novel was taking shape. I wrote a couple novels which were never published. Good practice. Though the best practice comes from just writing every day. As for writing about music, I clearly remember being on a train between Brussels and Antwerp in 2010 and it dawning on me that I should just start a blog. It comes from always being so excited about music and books and wanting to tell other people about them. I forgot about the blog thing for a few months but one night in March 2011, I went to a gig PennyBlackMusic was putting on in South London with The Hall Of Mirrors (Jessica Winter’s old band, excellent 60s-esque tunes) and Nick Garrie. I enjoyed the show so much, the next day I was inspired to start my First Kiss Lips blog. I just kept doing it and Bill from God Is In The TV soon told me if I ever wanted to write for them I could and I went at that with gusto. By the end of the year I had written my first piece for The Quietus and I was thrilled that John Doran emailed me when it was published that I should ‘write some more’ for them. Back in 2004 when I returned to the States after living in London for the first time, I had the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever had, so I knew I had to do it. I had been re-reading all the James Bond novels and I came up with the character of James Vagabond of the British Drunken Secret Service. I was really pleased with this and thought ‘well what can I have him do?’ Soon it hit me that he should go back in time to stop Prohibition from ever happening. I banged out a first draft of Off-License To Kill in about five weeks then revised it a few times over the years, and one last time after I quit drinking in 2012. It became a sort of ode to my drinking days, which were pretty fun for a while. It was around this time it was becoming easier to publish to self-publish so I decided to do that. After my best friend Andy died in August 2020, it was very important for me to get the Nick Cave’s Bar book out, as a tribute to our friendship. I had been telling the story live in the months before the pandemic hit and really wanted it to keep going. In fact, in the months after Andy passed away it became imperative to get it out there. I’d wake up every day and just have at it, wanting to share this bizarre adventure we went on as 23 year olds, trying to find a bar it was rumored our favourite singer owned, in a foreign country, without a clue as to its name or address, and which in the end turned out not to exist at all. Writing and publishing that was such a rewarding experience I’ve been full-steam-ahead ever since. Finished two books last year – The Ballad Of Buttery Cake Ass and a collection of tall tales about the role facial hair has played over the years in athletic competition, called Sporting Moustaches, which Sagging Meniscus is publishing next April. Hard at work on a new one as well.

Do you remember your first piece of writing as a youngster?

AS: Yeah. And it’s kind-of strange because it wasn’t really mine. Along with a couple others in my fifth grade class, I was picked to write a short story. I told my grandfather about it and he told me that he once had an idea for a story. My grandfather was a very creative man musically, artistically, but this was the only time I’d ever heard him mention writing. So I took his idea and added the details. The plot was about a scientist who is arrested and will most likely be sent to the electric chair so he lets it slip that as a safety measure he has invented and swallowed a device the size of a pea, that if connected to a surge of electricity has the power to blow up an entire city. Not the sort of thing I’d usually write. I also found recently some ideas for comics I wrote when I was even younger which were basically just Asterix rip-offs set in outer space and in feudal Japan (I was fascinated by martial arts as a child). I’ve got a couple comics scripts in the works as well. Would love to find an artist for them.

Southpaw Beach Sunset

What’s the last book you read?

AS: Ned Beauman’s latest novel, Venomous Lumpsucker. Which I very much enjoyed. I’m a big fan of his work. I took a chance on his Madness Is Better Than Defeat when I was driving across country in 2018. Loved it. And The Teleportation Accident is even better. I love how his work takes you all over the place and you never know where it’s going next, all while maintaining a strong narrative that doesn’t get knocked about by these wild waves. It’s quite unique. Very funny too.

Where did the inspiration come from The Ballad of Buttery Ass Cake?

AS: When my childhood best friend and I were teenagers we used to make up fake bands to ask for at record stores. And to this day, one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life was hearing Bri ask the clerk at Cutler’s Records & Tapes in New Haven, CT one day during winter break in 1991 if they had anything by Buttery Cake Ass. The guy behind the counter really wanted to help, you could see it in his eyes, there were a lot of bands with strange names around at the time – Ned’s Atomic Dustbin, Poi Dog Pondering, Meat Beat Manifesto – and New Haven was a big college town with good taste in music. He asked us ‘Is there any particular album you’re looking for?’ Without missing a beat, I said the first thing that popped into my head ‘Live In Hungaria’. The guy looked even more puzzled. ‘Do you mean ‘Live In Hungary’. Bri and I got very serious, shaking our heads no. ‘It’s definitely Live In Hungaria’. And as that poor man walked away to go check their stock for a record we had made up only seconds before, holding in that laughter was a feeling of utterly absurd joy. A feeling I always try to get back to whenever I do comedy. So I decided to tell the Buttery Cake Ass story, based around two best friends who go on a years long quest to find Live In Hungaria and along the way, piece together the history of the band. It’s bizarre how much of my own life went into a book called The Ballad Of Buttery Cake Ass. But I ended up using a lot of what it was like in my early bands, when you have these huge ideas about music and what you want your place in it to be, all the while having little idea how to make any of that happen. And when I got to college my friend Vic and I went on some pretty epic record shopping extravaganzas around Boston. Ones that left both body and wallet utterly exhausted. I drew on those experiences quite heavily for the quest part of the story.

At Repo Records.

Is the writing, music and comedy all intertwined in your brain?

AS: Yeah. This all comes out in its purest form in my Young Southpaw stories. That’s really how my brain works, going off on wild tangents sparked off by some musical connection or other. Ideas like ‘what if David Bowie had replaced David Lee Roth as the singer of Van Halen?’ or ‘what if Gilligan’s Island had been a musical, with instead of Bob Denver get John Denver, have Geri Halliwell/Ginger Spice as Ginger, Professor Griff from Public Enemy, and of course Thurston Moore as Thurston Howell III’. I’ve really liked putting those stories to music in recent years, and I have a backlog of stuff I still have to record.

When was your first stand up gig? how did you feel before and afterward?

AS: October 4, 2018. I rarely make New Year’s resolutions but that year I did because stand up was always something I’d wanted to try. I’d recorded the first long form Young Southpaw story, “At The Movies”, in August so I finally had ‘material’. And I realized time was running out, 2/3 of the year was already gone. Now, I have a big interest in Chinese Metaphysics and within that realm there’s something called Date Selection, choosing the optimal time to do something. So I chose that date and then set about looking for open mics in Nashville, where I was living at the time. And there weren’t any! But there was one in Memphis, 210 miles away. And I thought, well, if I’m gonna do this, this will show the seriousness of my intent. I took the day off work and drove down, listening to the audiobook of James Montague’s excellent Thirty-One Nil: On The Road With Football’s Outsiders and occasionally going over my 5 minute set. Not too much, to keep it fresh. The feeling before was one of just pure intent and focus. I was going to do this. Though I had no idea what to expect. And it did dawn on me how strange what I was doing was, especially considering the out-there-ness of the Southpaw material. But I got to the place, The P&H Café, and there was a big painting of Elvis above the stage and I love Elvis. Everything seemed right, like this was what I was supposed to be doing. I went on sixth and it was AMAZING! That first laugh came about 30 seconds in and it was just the best feeling. The host thanked me for getting the crowd laughing, because no one really had been before, and people came up to me to say how much they liked the surrealness of it and all the musical references. I was on cloud nine. I mentioned Cynthia Rhodes in that very first set. She was my first crush after seeing her in Staying Alive and I remembered the final scene to that movie where John Travolta tells her what he feels like doing now is to strut so I strutted all the way back to my car and drove the three hours home feeling great the whole way, like my new life had begun.

Aug in front of a window.

What’s your top 10 desert island discs?

AS: (in no particular order) The Afghan Whigs – Black Love Dolly Mixture – The Demonstration Tapes Pharoah Sanders – Pharoah Miles Davis – Tribute To Jack Johnson Rancid - ...And Out Come The Wolves Hanoi Rocks – Back To Mystery City Girlfrendo – Surprise! Surprise! It’s Girlfrendo Guided By Voices – Human Amusements At Hourly Rates (is a Best Of cheating? I need this for the full-on rock version of ‘Game Of Pricks’) Van Halen - 1984 The Replacements – Pleased To Meet Me

The first band that made you want to give music a shot?

AS: It was seeing the world premiere of David Lee Roth’s ‘Yankee Rose’ video in the summer of 1986 that made me want to pick up a guitar. I thought Steve Vai making the guitar ‘talk’ was the coolest thing ever. I learned on an old acoustic that my grandfather built, the strings were 3 inches off the fretboard! But this convinced my parents I was serious and for xmas that year I got my first electric guitar, a white Japanese Squire Stratocaster. I immediately formed a band with my friends and we did very rudimentary versions of ‘Twist And Shout’ and ‘Jump’. A couple years later I discovered punk and was so drawn to its energy. I remember that same band doing a blistering version of ‘Anarchy In The U.K.’ one summer day in our drummer’s basement. But it was developing a deep love for AC/DC the year after that that got me writing songs with my friends. Funnily enough, the same summer day in 1986 that my father took me to see Rodney Dangerfield’s Back To School at the movie theatre, we went across the street to the mall afterwards and I bought David Lee Roth’s Eat ‘Em And Smile. I’m pretty sure that day set in motion the rest of my life, carried along by the forces of comedy and music.

German Vegan

How’d you meet Bill Drummond?!

AS: I was writing a piece for The Quietus about the origin of The Teardrop Explodes’ name - https://thequietus.com/articles/09596-the-teardrop-explodes - and Bill was promoting his latest book, 100, at The Idler Bookshop, so I went down to talk to him about the Teardrops. I’ve always considered his work fascinating and it was great to talk to him. He was off to Paris the next day to do his The Lone Sweeper. I moved back to the States at the end of that year but on my subsequent visits, if he was free, we’d meet up for tea. I remember one particular conversation in 2016, where I starting telling him about a lady I was “smitten with”. It wasn’t going well and I was rather depressed about it. I often recall Bill’s words on the matter - “That’s the thing, it’s the work I’ve always been smitten with.” Damn good advice. Get smitten with the work. It’s really served me well in recent years.

What’s next in your world? Another book perhaps? AS: Right now I’m still focused on doing readings for The Ballad Of Buttery Cake Ass. The tour in February was great, awesome to hang out at record and book shops and talk to people about records and books all day. I’m still doing little jaunts. Heading down to Atlanta Memorial Day weekend with a stop at the very cool Epilogue Bookshop in Chapel Hill along the way. I’d really like to do more of this for as long as I can. I have an offer to go read in Seattle, which if I can find a couple other places to read in the Pacific Northwest, I’d love to make happen. I’d love to hit New York, L.A., Chicago, and Detroit too. And anywhere that has a cool record or book shop and wants me to come talk about music. Working on making all those happen. I’m really excited about Sagging Meniscus putting out Sporting Moustaches next April. Every day I continue to work on the book after that, about halfway done now. I also have a new musical project with Sean Drinkwater from Freezepop. We’re called FoxxMachine and it sounds very New Order/Depeche Mode. I also reformed my old punk band from 1995, Inbetween, to record a 7” that will feature a song that never made it to tape back then, and the definitive version of our set closer ‘Vampyro’.

Bonus question- Any idea if Nick Cave has read your book?

AS: I sent it to him (via his management) but I never heard anything back

www.augstone.com

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kiame-sama · 3 years

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Yandere Illumi and Hisoka feeling their baby kick for the first time? Love the one you did for Chrollo!!

Warnings; yandere, yandere behavior, stalker behavior, yandere relationship, pregnancy, obsessive behavior,

"Hm? You perked up all of a sudden. Want to share why~?♣"

You glanced over to Hisoka who was sitting on the table, working on a decent card tower. He was facing away from were you were sitting on the bed and hadn't even known he was watching you, resting your hand on your rather swollen stomach. Honestly, it was always a surprise to realize he had been aware of every move you made without even looking at you, wondering just how he did it.

You two were in the room provided by Heaven's Arena to top fighters, where you had been for the last month. Hisoka liked to wander from place to place every few months, but seemed content- for the time being- to stay in Heaven's Arena. It was clear Hisoka had yet to decide his feelings on the pregnancy, always remaining a mystery until the very last moment.

What is it they say? A magician never reveals his secrets?

Hisoka has remained relatively indifferent all while being oddly supporting, it was... Refreshing. He made subtle changes around you as your pregnancy progressed, keeping you surprisingly relaxed. There had been no threats to your life or safety since your pregnancy began, knowing now he had no intention of actually killing you.

After so long held in his clutches, yet kept at arm's reach, he was actually showing the terrifyingly sharp mind he possessed. He was brilliant and clearly knew much more than he let on about most things. It was as if he had finally accepted the fact he didn't want to get rid of you, planning on keeping you for as long as he could trap you in his clutches.

The movement that had first drawn your attention happened again, a slight pressure against the hand resting on your stomach. Your lack of response to his question compelled him to actually look at you, an eyebrow raised. Clearly when you attention didn't return to him, he decided to go to you instead, wanting answers to his question and wanting to know why you were ignoring him.

Part of Hisoka wanted to mess with you for the hell of it, but he could be less of a dick when he was alone with you. He saw you as his favorite plaything and you were in a delicate state physically and emotionally, so he was not about to break his prized toy.

"What is so interesting?"

"Feel..."

He complied and rest his hand against your stomach, careful of his nails on your soft skin. The moment his palm was flat against your body he felt a firm pressure push back at him, seeing you wince slightly from the particularly rough kick. It seemed his infant did recognize his presence and was keen to let you both know.

"Well, I guess they do know me."

"... So what are you thinking?"

"We can keep it. You seem so excited, taking it from you now just seems cruel."

You let out the breath you didn't know you were holding, feeling like you could actually relax around him now. Hisoka noticed your relief and found himself pleased with the idea of you trusting him completely. No more being skittish around him.

(I couldn't resist the GIF, it was too funny given the scenario)

You were laying back in your bed, resting your head against Illumi's chest as he held you, having become rather fond of keeping you close in the past few weeks. Often he would lay next to you with your stomach facing inwards towards him so he could hold both you and your infant. Illumi had been rather keen on keeping you close since you told him you were pregnant, always having been fond of the idea of lineage.

He is absolutely certain all of the children you bear for him will be excellent nen users and they will be worthy of the Zoldyck name. You knew Killua was unlikely to return to take his place as head of house, Illumi being the obvious next in line to take on that title. That meant if your child were to have white hair and blue eyes, they would be raised from birth to be the head of house.

Illumi was the only descendant out of the five that actually stuck to being an assassin, as well as the only one to take on a permanent lover. You were trapped and locked into the family as soon as Illumi realized he wouldn't be able to handle you leaving him. He grabbed you the first chance he got and you had yet to escape or talk sense to him. You were already carrying his child and it was clear Illumi wanted a good number more, truly enjoying the sight of you so heavily pregnant.

As he lay there, thinking of potential names and absently resting his hand on your stomach, a pressure pushed against his hand. His eyes snapped open and he looked down, eyes resting on your soft stomach. He waited a long moment before he felt it again, that little pressure pushing back against his hand.

Illumi was not one to become excited or elated over small things, but with this, he felt actual joy and excitement. His expression didn't show it, but he was thrilled to have his child, his progeny, respond to his presence. You were fast asleep and Illumi had no intention of waking you despite how excited he was, content to share this quiet moment with you and his child in his arms.

"I'll keep you both safe..."

#x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #reader insert #kiame-sama #yandere illumi zoldyck #yandere illumi zoldyck x reader #yandere illumi x reader #yandere illumi #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hisoka morrow #yandere hisoka morow #yandere hisoka x reader #yandere hisoka #hunter x hunter yandere

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sargeant-bxrnes · 3 years

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1 step forward, 3 steps back.

warnings: rafe being… rafe. drug mention & consumption, cursing, toxic relationship, sexual situations/implications, mental health issues. ANGST.

[AN: this is the first thing i’ve written, ever, so my apologies if it’s not flawless ; also, english is not my first language, that’s a warning on its own]

my requests are open btw

click for my master list

word count: 4.4K

Called you on the phone today

Just to ask you how you were

All I did was speak normally

Somehow I still struck a nerve

“Hey,” you said in a soft tone as soon as Rafe picked up the phone, you were laying down on your bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey princess,” his tone was calm, but his voice was rough and raspy all together.

“How you doing?” you asked him, even though you’d seen him last night, up close.

“I’m doing great,” he replied in a surprisingly cheerful tone, which is weird this early in the morning. Rafe is not a morning person. “You sound tired.”

“I am tired,” you confirmed with a sigh. “Guess I have you to thank for that.”

“My pleasure.” he replied cockily, and even though you couldn’t see him, you could practically hear his proud smirk.

“So, what’s the plan today?” you asked in a casual tone, fidgeting with the edge of Rafe’s shirt, the one you wore to sleep.

“Uh, what do you mean?” he asked in a distracted tone, he sniffed subtly and coughed.

You knew what that meant, but still, you hoped it wasn’t what you deep down knew it was.

“Yeah, I mean—“ you said and made a brief pause. “Wanna go to the club? Maybe we can take a ride on the boat, you know, with food, alcohol... just us.”

“Can’t, I’m busy.” he said after a few seconds, if you didn’t know him better and his occasional mood swings, you would’ve said his tone was harsh.

"Really?" you asked in a soft tone, trying to disguise your disappointment with interest. "But I thought we were going out together today."

"Y/N, just because I'm your boyfriend it doesn't mean I have to be with you all the fucking time."

Okay, now he was definitely angry, you thought you said the right thing, but it still made him angry.

"Rafe-"

"No, Y/N. I have a life of my own, you know? Things to do besides you."

“That’s okay Rafe, I get it,” You said calmly, nodding your head softly. “Have fun today.”

Now you clearly heard the sound of him sniffing something and the sigh that left his lips after, and Barry’s voice in the background. “Don’t play the victim card on me, that’s not gonna work. I deserve to have some time off.”

“I didn’t,” you said softly. “And it’s okay baby, you’re right, you deserve to have some fun.”

“See? No need to be so fucking dramatic,” he said, his voice and words slurring. You? Dramatic? It was all him. “But don’t worry princess, I’ll drop by tonight and fuck the attitude out of you, yeah? That way I’m not just doing things with you, I’m doing you.”

And with such a vulgar comment and a harsh tone, Rafe hung up on you, leaving you completely dumbfounded and filled with incredulity.

What you did know for a fact, is that he would keep up his word. And judging by his tone of voice and how annoyed he was, you could already imagine the ache between your legs.

You got me fucked up in the head, boy

Never doubted myself so much

Like, am I pretty? Am I fun, boy?

I hate that I give you power over that kind of stuff

You knew exactly what you were getting into when you started hooking up with Rafe, and what you were committing to when you agreed to be his girlfriend.

You know that man carries more problems than he shows, he prefers to make himself appear as the Kook prince who lives a life of partying and money; hiding all the things that were going on in his head.

However, there were times when his attitude made you doubt yourself.

You couldn't help but think, ‘What if one day I don't manage to calm him down?’ ‘What if one day he realizes that there is someone prettier, or hotter, or wealthier out there?’

And Rafe would get angry if you doubted yourself. He would complain to you about it, saying you had no reason to be insecure about your looks; if you are absolutely gorgeous, or to feel insecure about your personality; if you were the most genuine person he'd ever met, and you could make him laugh until he forgot all his problems.

But what really made him furious was when you had doubts about the relationship itself, about whether or not he was capable of leaving you for someone else. He took those doubts personally, as if he wasn't trying hard enough to show you how much you mean to him.

When in reality; you were doubting yourself.

'Cause it's always one step forward

You were preparing dinner for you and Rafe, your family was out for the weekend, and Rafe had decided to spend it with you.

Your hair was tied up in a bun, your attire consisted of nothing but your underwear and a shirt that used to be Rafe's, but you took it so long ago that it's yours now.

Music from your shared playlist played in the background, as you danced absentmindedly with a spatula in hand, extremely calm and enjoying time with your boyfriend.

Rafe could do nothing but stare at you with admiration, you are literally the only good thing in his life; his little piece of heaven. You are everything to him.

As soon as Dark Red by Steve Lacy started playing, you let out an excited gasp. That song in particular is Rafe’s and yours, like… if you two had to choose a song to describe your relationship, it would be that one. It represented how you two did not always have good times, but your love prevailed.

Seeing you this happy, comfortable and at ease with him made Rafe's soul happy. All his life, he had done nothing else besides make people angry, disappointed, terrified. But with you, everything was different.

You were so focused on swaying your hips to the music and singing, that you didn't notice when Rafe stood up and walked over to where you were.

It wasn't until he stood behind you, chest to back and with his hands on your hips, that you realized he was closer. His head was bowed, you could feel his breathing close to your ear, so he was able to murmur in your ear the lyrics of the song:

“Only you, my girl, only you, babe,” he sang in your ear, his voice a soft whisper as he wrapped his arms around your body and started to sway with you. “Only you, darling, only you, babe.”

The gesture quickened your heart to unsuspected levels, you felt your knees weaken as you pressed closer to his body, appreciating his closeness as he pressed a kiss against your temple.

“You know I love you so much, right?” he mumbled in your ear, as you closed your eyes and relished his presence.

“I love you too, baby.” you mumbled back, leaning your head against his chest, caressing one of his arms around your waist with your fingertips, and bringing your hand to his ash blond hair, stroking it softly.

and three steps back

“Why is he mad at you, again?” Topper asked you with a raised eyebrow, after witnessing Rafe utterly avoiding even looking at you when he walked into the room and then left without a word.

“Because I told Barry to not open the door if Rafe dropped by,” You replied with a shrug, closing your eyes and leaning back against the chair. “And when Rafe tried to lash out on him, Barry said it all had been ‘Mrs.Country Club’s’ request.”

“And he’s mad at you because you don’t want him to get all fucked up?” Topper questioned next, trying to understand the situation. But he never knew what the fuck you two were up to.

“Yes, but it’s Rafe, are you surprised?” you said with a heavy sigh.

“No, not really,” Topper admitted. “Honestly, I don’t know why you keep up with him, Y/N.”

“I ask myself that all the time…” you said with a deep sigh. “But I love him, so I guess that’s the answer.”

“And? I mean, I don’t want to be ‘that guy’ Y/N, but he’s…” Topper trailed off, apparently looking for the right word.

“I know exactly how he is, Topper, I don’t need you to remind me. I already think about that way too much.”

You and Topper had easily assumed that Rafe was no longer around, since he seemed to be making his best efforts to avoid you.

But Rafe was there, and he heard everything. He’d heard Topper giving you bad advice (or what he considered bad advice) And he heard you, having doubts about why you loved him or stood by him at all,and it made him want to lash out again.

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

No, I don't understand

[+18. Really]

“Leave me alone!” his voice boomed in the room, his brows furrowed and the veins in his neck were popping out.

“Rafe—“ you tried once again, approaching slowly in an attempt to place a hand on his shoulder, but he waved it away aggressively.

“Leave-me-alone,” he said, pausing in between each word to emphasize on how much he meant it. His eyes were bloodshot, his nose had specks of white dust, his lips were dry and his voice was coarse.

You weren’t entirely sure what you could say to get him to calm down. Or if there was anything at all you could do.

Normally, what upsets him the most is Ward. His own father. Rafe has spent his whole life trying to prove he's a good son, to make his father proud, and Ward never appreciates his efforts, only notices the bad, and ignores Rafe's clear calls for help, has since Rafe was 10 years old, so he certainly wasn't going to pay attention to him now that Rafe finally had a steady girlfriend, someone who had willingly decided to help.

95% of the time, you managed to talk to Rafe before he decided to resort to intoxication. Most of the time just seeing you helped him calm down, hearing your voice soothed him, and your lips, your skin, put him in a state of peace.

But the other 5% is when Rafe resorted to alcohol and, above all, drugs.

When Rafe is upset and decides to get high, he only manages to become unstable, erratic and yes, aggressive if not handled with care.

In those situations, the best thing you can do, putting yourself first, is to give him his space. Let him screw himself as much as he wants for that day, and help him deal with the consequences the next day, while you listen to him lament his attitude.

Rafe always said he would quit the vice; claiming you were all he needed to calm himself down, that you made him feel at peace. And above all, that you weren't slowly killing him; on the contrary, every minute he spent with you made him feel more alive.

However, for one reason or another, he always came back to it. Whether it was at a party, because Kelce suggested it, or, as is almost always the case, when he's upset with his father and needs quick relief.

And usually, this ‘quick relief’ ends up with Rafe fucked up, big time.

Once he was convinced that you wouldn't try to intervene again, Rafe went back to his business. He turned to the table, and since he already had the line ready, he simply leaned over and inhaled it, throwing his head back, running his hand through his hair and exhaling as he closed his eyes.

You exhaled heavily, shaking your head as you stared at your feet. You knew he would struggle to quit, after all it is an addiction and he has to fight it, but sometimes you get the impression that Rafe doesn't want to quit, not really.

"Do you want to help me?" asked Rafe eventually, turning his head to look at you. You didn't know if it was a trick question or not, so you hesitated before answering. "Answer me."

"Yes, of course I want to, Rafe." you replied with your respective hesitations, wondering what he was up to.

"Come here then," he said, making a 'come hither’ sign with his fingers.

You took a hesitant step but stopped, your eyes narrowing as you analyzed Rafe, trying to determine his intentions.

He raised both eyebrows in your direction, in a silent question of whether or not you're going to go with him.

Eventually you walked over to where Rafe was, he smiled at you while biting his lip lightly. Without saying anything he approached you and kissed you; the drugs made his senses heighten, so the kiss was intense from the beginning.

So that's when it made sense to you what he wanted, he wanted you. Your most obvious thought is that he would use you to take out your frustration, put the drugs aside and, most likely, fuck you.

Your idea seemed to be the right one as soon as Rafe grabbed you by the waist, still with his lips on yours, left a little bite on your lip before pulling away; and without any problem, lifted you off the floor and placed you on the table.

It's something you wouldn't admit out loud,—mostly out of shame and guilt,—but this kind of sex with Rafe was the best, he's completely unrestrained, rough, full of stamina and teasing, and above all, possessive. And that, in combination with his attractiveness, always drove you crazy.

And honestly; if what he wanted was to fuck you to take out his frustration, you'd let him.

His kisses were hungry and his hands desperate, running all over your body without distinction, as if he didn't know where to start.

He parted his lips from yours, and left a kiss at the corner of them, on your jaw; and began to make a little trail of slow kisses down your neck. The feeling of his lips on your neck made you bite your lip as you wrapped your legs around his waist to feel him closer.

You slid your hand under his shirt, caressing his defined abs and the sides of his body gently with the tips of your fingers, as he left little bites on your neck. Your hands slowly moved up, intending to remove his shirt, but Rafe was quicker and brought his hands to the edge of your shirt, causing you to stop your movements to raise your arms, so he could remove your shirt with ease. And so he did.

He parted his lips from your neck and stared at you, the hunger in his eyes made you feel a fire in the pit of your stomach that only he could put out.

Desperately, your lips connected again as he settled between your legs. One of his hands traveled to your neck, and he wrapped his fingers around it, pressing lightly to the sides. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head; though he couldn't see it.

With just enough strength, Rafe used the grip he had on your neck to push you down onto the table, so that you were lying on top of it.

As soon as he leaned over the table, you could feel his breath over abdomen, so you bit your lip in anticipation for what was to come.

He began to leave slow, wet kisses on your abdomen, making a slow trail to the edge of your shorts. Your automatic reaction was to close your eyes and put a hand in his hair, stroking it gently.

What you didn’t know is that the fact that you closed your eyes had given Rafe an opportunity he couldn't miss. Without you noticing, he slid a hand to the side of the table, where the small bag of white powder was.

To conceal his actions, he unbuttoned your shorts, and returned his lips to the beginning of your abdomen for more time.

The little bite he left to distract your attention caused a gasp to escape your lips; and that sound almost caused him to change plans completely.

He did want to fuck you, don’t get him wrong. He even had a mental debate about whether to continue what he was doing or simply sink his head between your thighs and provoke more sounds like that.

But he wanted to try something first. He had always wanted to try it, but had never asked you, because he knew that you would most likely say no.

With ease, he slid your shorts down your legs; so that they stayed at your ankles or fell to the floor; he didn't care. One of his hands slid into your underwear with ease, his fingers going straight to where he knew you needed him the most.

Trusting that you would not open your eyes, carefully, he put the white substance on your body, so delicately you didn’t notice. He began to prepare to inhale, while biting his lip in reaction to the sinful sounds that left your lips.

And obviously, without warning, Rafe inhaled a line from your thigh.

And all your sounds stopped, your eyes opened and your expression was filled with surprise, the bad kind.

You couldn't believe what Rafe had just done, you felt like an idiot for falling into the trap.

You also had to bite your lip to keep from letting out a moan in reaction to what his fingers were doing in between your legs, but your pride forbade it.

But more than anything else, you were outraged.

“Rafe, you did not just—“

“It felt nice, yeah?” Rafe’s voice was hoarse, you could feel his breath over your skin, as he left little kisses around. “After all, I did feel you clench around my fingers.”

His dirty words, hoarse voice, and close proximity to your body, not to mention his fingers deep inside you, caused you to let out a soft moan, causing Rafe to smirk in what he thought was victory.

But you wouldn't let him win this little game.

Although you really didn't want to, you grabbed his hand by the wrist and pulled him away, your legs trembling slightly at the sudden lack of anything between them.

Rafe's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as soon as you pushed him away from you and got off the table, lifting your shorts off the floor and putting them back on without a word.

"What are you doing?"

You didn't answer, as you searched for your shirt, feeling his heavy gaze on your body.

"Y/N, where do you think you're going?"

“I’m leaving you alone as you asked me to, remember?” you said in irony. “Before you sniffed a line off me after I begged you to quit that shit?”

“Oh, so now you’re playing the victim?” his voice rose. “Don't- Don’t act as if you wouldn’t have let me fuck you less than a minute ago!”

"Yes I would have let you, to distract you from that shit!" you admitted to him, failing to control your anger. "I said I wanted to help you, to distract you, to give you something different to do. Not that I'd give you another place to snort lines from!"

Rafe knew you were right, of course he did.

You had spent months after months trying to get him to quit, you had offered him countless hours of your days to give him something new to do, distractions, attention and love. And this is how he had decided to pay you back?

But Rafe was angry too, very. You had interrupted him, you were yelling at him; and you had left him so hard, that it would start to hurt unless he did something about it.

“Fine, then get the fuck out of here.” Rafe spat, his anger clearly getting the best of him.

Your eyes widened at that, you hadn't expected him to react like that.

Your best case scenario would be that your attitude would piss him off, yes, but that he would retaliate by getting you back to the table and showing you everything you were missing.

Instead, he simply took your word for it and told you to get out of the room.

“What?”

“You heard me, get out.”

“Rafe—“

“You uh, you have three options, yeah? You let me fuck you over that table and do whatever I want, you get out of here, or I’ll get you out of here.”

The first offer was tempting, it really was, but you wouldn’t allow him to talk to you like that. Before anything, came respect and dignity, and no matter how much you wanted him to fuck you silly, you were too angry and disappointed at him to let it slip.

Blinking repeatedly to chase away the tears from your eyes, you grabbed your phone from the other end of the table, your jacket from Rafe's bed, and walked out of there without another word as you heard him calling your name.

And maybe in some masochistic way

I kinda find it all exciting

Like, which lover will I get today?

Will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?

Your relationship with Rafe was unique.

Not because of the circumstances in which it was created. A one-night-stand that turned into something casual, that was formalized after a dinner.

If not for Rafe.

You loved him, no doubt about it. You would give anything to see him happy and at peace, at peace with himself and succeeding in his life.

Rafe would do anything for you, really, anything. No matter how risky, demanding or dangerous, he would do anything for you.

He would die and kill for you.

But that surely didn’t mean it was an easy relationship, hell no. In fact, the willingness both of you had to do anything for each other sometimes made things too complicated; for at times it seemed that not a single rational thought crossed your minds.

And yes, Rafe’s addiction was a big issue. Whenever he was too high, or going through withdrawals, he wasn’t the Rafe you knew or had grown to love, it was another side of him you wanted to help get rid off. And the process wasn’t easy.

While trying to get clean; there was no way to know how he’d behave. He could either get clingy and want you around at all times to calm himself down, or he’d be in a very bad mood all the time, constantly snapping at you and raising his voice.

So there were days where he’d walk you to the door of your house and leave you there with a tender kiss and a smile.

Or days when you’d get out of his truck without a word, with tears streaming down your cheeks while he kept yelling for probably the stupidest thing.

No, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

It's back and forth, goin' over everything I said

It's back and forth, did I do something wrong?

'It's back and forth, maybe this is all your fault

Rafe knew he wasn’t okay. After all, he had begged his father for help, begged for anything that would get those thoughts to stop, but his father hadn’t listened, had only told him to ‘man up.’

You knew he wasn’t okay. Which is why you wanted to help him, to offer the support no one else had bothered to give him before he met you.

Whether he wanted it or not, those thoughts were still there. Being with you made them easier to ignore, but it’s not like they vanished entirely. He still had some ideas that made his own skin crawl.

And sometimes, you’d say or do the wrong thing and trigger those thoughts. And things got bad again for him.

Rafe knew you wanted nothing but to help him get better and be the best version of himself, and he really wanted to give you that. To change and make an effort. Not only for himself but for you. He wanted to be a man worthy of your love.

But it was hard to be anywhere near decent when you two went out and a guy stared at you for longer than Rafe’s limits allowed, or when guys tried to hit on you, when his friends got a little bit too close for his comfort.

Whenever he got jealous, he turned into a walking, talking ticking bomb. Anything could, and would set him off.

It wasn’t your fault, not really, but most of the time you felt it was. You knew Rafe dealt with a lot of insecurities already, of not being a nice person, not being good enough and so many other things. And you hated being one of the factors that caused his insecurities to arise.

And I'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all I've ever had

It was a complicated relationship, and it would probably never stop being complicated because both of you are complex people, plus there are other factors that affect the relationship.

But that didn't mean either of you would stop fighting to keep it alive. Neither would let the other go.

Rafe utterly refused to ever let you go. He loved you as he had never loved anyone, as he never thought himself capable of loving with that twisted heart of his.

You are, without exception, the best thing in his life, the best thing that ever happened to him. And you being in his heart was slowly turning him into who he had wanted to be during all those years of loneliness.

And you would never let him go, because you loved him with all your heart, soul and nerve of your body. And because you know that no one will ever love you like him. With so much passion, intensity, honesty and purity.

Because every feeling Rafe expressed with you was true; he was himself with you. And you didn't want to let him go.

Even if the two of you went one step forward, and three steps back, that single step would be longer than any step life makes you take backwards.

795 notes · View notes

zodiyack · 3 years

Text

Rude! (3,000+ Follower Fic Special 1/3)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Female!Hopper!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Billy stuff, lyrics, fluff

Song: Rude by Magic!

Words: 1,798

Summary: Billy's love for Hopper's daughter is too strong to be stopped by the tough Chief Jim Hopper. Despite being told "not in a thousand years", he plans to love her regardless.

Note: Thank you so so much! I love you all, and writing your ideas, as well as sharing mine with you, has been so fucking fun and amazing! I'm sorry for my lack of words, I wish being an author came in handy with writing this, however, all I can say is that I love you all from the bottom of my heart. I've seen people do shout-outs, and ask-related stuff with their follower things, and I may do that, I'm not sure. For now, I hope you enjoy this... Thank you all, again!

Also 1/3 means that there will be two other fics released for the 3,000+ follower present!

Taglist: @urie-bowie-mercury, @matth1w, @redspaceace-writes, @fandom-puff, @darling-i-read-it, @simonsbluee, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow, @dpaccione

Masterlist | Stranger Things Masterlist

"Saturday morning, jumped out of bed and put on my best suit. Got in my car and raced like a jet all the way to you. Knocked on your door with my heart in my hands, to ask you a question, 'cause I know that you're an old-fashioned man. Yeah."

Billy was freshly graduated, working as a lifeguard whilst his girlfriend worked her own job, both saving up for their chance to ditch Hawkins and move to California. Sweet Cali. Billy was excited to show the love of his life around the place he called home. Though, physically, he left the salty ocean and windy beach behind, the place never truly left him.

You could see it in his eyes. The waves crashing in his blue orbs. He swore the scent had just barely clung to his belongings; the smell of the tangy air that followed a majority of the state. Working at a pool was the closest he got to the memory of California. Chlorine was most certainly not the salted ocean waters, but with the circumstances, he decided it'd do.

The way his face lit up whenever he talked about his home...it made Y/n more and more excited to see it. His girlfriend had grown up in Hawkins, stayed there her whole life. Never once did the Hoppers leave Hawkins.

But the second that was introduced to Billy, he knew it had to change.

Although they were saving for a big move, Billy had...other things in mind with what to do with his first large pay-check (or series, rather. Working as a lifeguard didn't pay well with just one check). He began to work more shifts to make up for the money he'd spent, and one day after calling in for a day off, he decided to put his plan into action.

"Billy, stop messing with the tie."

"It's annoying." Hands slapped away his attempts of adjusting the black silk tie.

"Well it won't stop being annoying if you keep fucking it up."

For the first time in a long time, Neil Hargrove was calm. Not happy, not amused, not pissed off for some unjust reason- just calm. He wasn't wreaking havoc and he wasn't being an asshole to his son. Billy hadn't seen this side of his dad in quite some time, in fact, he thought something important was going on and he was about to fuck it all up. And then, Susan retreated to the living room with a camera and a freshly ironed suit.

"You're not putting me in that."

"And who asked for your opinion?" Neil deflected with a raised brow. One heavy sigh later and Billy was leaving the bathroom, dawning the whole black and white getup.

Susan clasped her hands over her mouth, a tear leaving her eye, "You look so handsome! Just like your dad!"

Billy rolled his eyes, "Great."

However, his careless attitude was swept under the rug when the blue Camaro pulled up to the police station, interrupting a clearly distressed Chief Hopper bickering with his daughter. Billy had to get himself together before stepping out of the car, jaw slack after seeing the beauty he got to call his date.

"Hello Mr-"

"Don't even try play nice with me, Hargrove. She's not going anywhere with you. End of story." Hopper kept his eyes trained on the blond, body tense like a snake preparing to strike it's prey.

Y/n grabbed Billy's arm, slowly directing him to the car, "And in the sequel, we find out I am going with Billy. End of that story."

"There is no 'sequel.' The writer got drunk and lazy." She paused, turning to face her father who stood tall, arms crossed and face unamused.

"So his daughter picked up where her father left off, and then the sequel was published and the two lived happily ever after, the end."

While her dad attempted to search for a line that would better hers and force her to stay, she pushed Billy toward the driver's side and slid into the car as fast as she could, rolling down the window as Billy started it up. "Bye! I'll be back before midnight!"

The two drove off toward the school, leaving behind a trail of dust and very, very, pissed off Hopper.

Prom was better than Billy thought it would be. He didn't want to go at first, but after Max found out and spoke to her mom about it (the little redhead a cupid-in-the-making), Neil pushed him to go (as he was "doing something else besides being a lazy-no-good rebel"). It was then that he called Y/n and asked if she'd be going.

The suit came in handy. Clashing with his rocker aesthetic, he put it back on once more. The once-annoying tie proved to be somewhat okay in the end.

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life? Say yes, say yes, 'cause I need to know. You say I'll never get your blessing "till the day I die, tough luck my friend, but the answer is no!"

Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human too? Why you gotta be so rude? I'm gonna marry her anyway. Marry that girl, marry her anyway! Marry that girl, yeah, no matter what you say! Marry that girl, and we'll be a family! Why you gotta be so rude?

With a deep breath, he ran-over the conversation in his head once more. Like a script for an actor, he had thought of every possible outcome and every possible line for him to face it with. He almost chickened out as his fist rose to the door, but it was too late, for his knuckles rapped against it before he realized he was even knocking.

El opened the door, eyes wide when she saw the familiar mullet and button-down. "Papa..." She muttered as she backed away and out of view.

Hopper traded places with her, his lazy expression sobering up instantaneously, replaced with a grumpy scowl. "Hargrove."

"Mr. Hopper, sir."

"What are you doing on my front porch?"

He swallowed roughly, palms sweaty against his sides. "I was wondering if I could talk to you."

"You seem to be doing just that right now, Hargrove." Hop crossed his arms and clenched his jaw.

Well, this was certainly not something Billy had thought of. He was on panic mode internally, attempting to find any response that could save his hide and accomplish what he set out to do. Unfortunately, the word-vomit button seemed to be misplaced under the button labeled "help".

"I'd like to marry your daughter, sir."

Hop's eyes grew just as big in size as El's had when she opened the door. He choked on his own surprise, coughing it off, then glaring at the boy in front of him. "Over my dead body, Hargrove. If that's all, I'd strongly advise you to get off of my fucking porch while you're still alive."

I hate to do this, you leave no choice; can't live without her. Love me or hate me, we will be boys- standing at that alter. And we will fly away, to another galaxy, you know. You know she's in love with me, she will go anywhere I go-

"Billy, he's just stubborn."

"No, no, I don't think he likes me."

Y/n sighed, rubbing her boyfriend's back. He hadn't told her of his proposal plans, only that Hop seemed to have it out for him. "It'll take time, but he'll warm up to you!"

"It's been how many years since he's met me?"

"To be fair, your reputation wasn't doing you any good until now..."

"It's not like that was fucking obvious." He slouched further down in the front seat of his Camaro. To Billy, all hope was lost. If he couldn't get Hopper to give him his blessing, he was sure he'd lose his goddamned mind.

Y/n frowned. Her frown flipped around as an idea popped into her head, her lips finding Billy's knuckles and quirking his attention. "Even if he never likes you, I'm not going anywhere."

Billy laughed softly, "he'll fucking kill me if you go against him."

"Eh, that's only if he can catch us."

"You're out of your fucking mind, Y/n Hopper."

"I know."

The rest of the night was spent in the Camaro, of course, doing one of Billy's favorite pastimes. By the time the sun rose, Billy was sneaking a kiss to a giggling Y/n before dropping from her window in the cabin and running to his car, parked far enough that Hop or El wouldn't notice. He blew her one more kiss, which she pretended to catch, then he broke into a sprint.

Maybe, he thought, just maybe; there was still a chance.

His knuckles hit the door again, shifting on his feet nervously. It swung open to reveal Hopper, an unimpressed look bringing no surprise Billy's way. It was quite expected, honestly.

"What." His tone made it clear he wasn't up for fucking around.

"Mr. Hopper, if you just give me one chance to prove to you that-"

"No, no, no, no, no. Let me make it very clear to you that I want you to have nothing to do with my daughter whatsoever. No marriage, no friendship, I don't even approve of you guys fucking or whatever-"

"We're in a serious relationship, sir. It's nothing like you think it is."

This made Hop laugh. He continued to do so, holding his stomach, until he realized Billy was unamused. "Oh, you're serious?... My answer is still no, Hargrove. My answer will always be no. Go find someone else's daughter's heart to break. You're not hurting mine."

"It's not like-"

Before he could even get the words out, he was met with a door in his face. Turned down, again.

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life? Say yes, say yes, 'cause I need to know. You say I'll never get your blessing "till the day I die, tough luck my friend, 'cause the answer's still no!"

Again, again, and again, Billy incessantly pleaded with Hopper. Different tactics were all met with the same answer; rejection.

He held up a sign outside the cabin, only for Hopper to close the curtain and chuckle as he sipped his coffee.

He asked at the door again, only for Hop to threaten to give him a black eye (which was met with "aren't you the sheriff? Isn't that illegal?").

He raced past the police station, Max leaning out the window with another sign, only for Hop to threaten them with holding cells.

He even went as far as to ask Max and El to help, but Hopper had none of that, and sent Max home with a rant full of nos.

However, if Jim Hopper thought any of it would get it into Billy's head that getting his blessing was just not happening- he was as wrong as Nancy when she claimed not to have feelings for Jonathan.

Billy had another plan in mind, and this one was impossible to say no to.

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life? Say yes, say yes, 'cause I need to know. You say I'll never get your blessing "till the day I die, tough luck my friend- but no still means no!"

"Hopper." Billy stood before his desk, interrupting his nice date with a delicious doughnut, and earning a very annoyed glare. "I got Miss Byer's blessing. Aren't you two a thing?"

"You son of a-"

"I got Eleven's too."

"Hargrove, I'm gonna-"

"Before you cuss me out, I think you should know that I've got a stable job, an interview with a mechanic so I have a job when the pool closes for the winter, and I've got a house on the market I'm looking at. I'm devoted to your daughter and she's devoted to me. You may not like me, but I think you're a great dad, better than the one I was unfortunately stuck with. You raised a strong and amazing woman. She's incredible and I admit, she deserves better than me-"

"You don't have to say that twice." Hopper huffed, crossing his arms.

"I know she deserves so much better than me, I'm surprised she's even with me too. But she loves me, and I think you can see that. I love her too. I would never, in a million years, break her heart."

Jim stayed silent for a few minutes. The silence brought uneasiness to Billy, but that was intentional on Hopper's behalf. He finally piped up with a cough, clearing his throat, before his piercing eyes met Billy's blue orbs.

"I'll hold you to that, Hargrove."

Bonus:

(after the wedding)

"What was that about a no?" Billy quipped with his infamous smirk.

"You're lucky I'm sheriff, Hargrove."

Why you gotta be so rude?

695 notes · View notes

thatbadadvice · 3 years

Text

GOOD ADVICE INTERLUDE: Help, My Friend is 15 and Pregnant!

Readers won’t stop sending the Bad Advisor their real-ass questions to answer, so the Bad Advisor is periodically going to try her hand at answering them. If you'd like to submit a question for a Good Advice Interlude, use the "ask" form!

A reader writes:

Hey uh if you’re still doing the good advice interlude, advice for helping a friend with a teen pregnancy? She’s 15, with a boyfriend two or three years older. They had sex and she clearly really enjoyed it. It’s resulted in her being pregnant. She wants to keep the child, and I’m obviously going to support her decisions, but I don’t know what’s best to do to support her. She’s in the hospital regularly (chronically ill), and I don’t know how to ask if she’s looked into the risks that giving birth might provide for her. I don’t want to come across like I don’t want her to do what she wants, because I do, but I’d like to be reassured she’s prepared for that, because I think mostly she’s thinking about how excited she is to be a mum. Which is great! I’m glad she’s excited! I’m excited! But yeah how do I ask if she’s prepared for health risks both in that and the fact that in general regular hospital visits with a small child aren’t ideal (I speak from experience there lol). I speak from experience because I’ve been visiting the hospital regularly since I was a small child because I have an array of health issues and always have done. Friend & I have bonded over this a little.

Hello! Thanks for writing in! It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to write a Good Advice Interlude, so this is very exciting.

You sound like a lovely and concerned friend! However, and this probably is gonna land with a big-ass thud: your friend’s pregnancy isn’t about you and she doesn’t have to make you feel better about her decision to become a parent.

Right out of the gate, you say you’d like “advice for helping a friend with a teen pregnancy.” Okay! A good instinct! But when we get into the details, what you really seem to be asking for are some ways for you to feel okay about your friend’s decision to carry her pregnancy to term — you talk about what you need to be reassured about, and what questions you need to make sure your friend is grappling with so that you can help her. But it’s not clear whether your friend has asked for your help or your advice or your recommendations on how to do her pregnancy! So let’s back waaaaaay up, because the top way to not help a person going through some big life shit is to burden them with your own personal misgivings about it.

Reading between the lines, I sense that you want to be a kind, good friend who does the right thing, and you know that the right thing is to support your friend who has decided to become a parent at a younger age than most people do these days. I sense that in your heart, you know the right thing to do is to support young people’s reproductive autonomy and not to judge or shame people for making decisions that you wouldn’t make for yourself, or that are outside the norm in some way. I also suspect that in your heart, despite this, you also feel judgy and frustrated by your friend making a decision to become a parent at age 15 when she has all this other medical stuff going on, and you’re trying to overcompensate for that, because it probably doesn’t feel great, so you’re trying to cast your concerns for you friend as just! looking! for! how! to! be! enthusiastically! and! cheerfully! supportive!

But let’s be real: we live in a complicated cultural milieu wherein we internalize beliefs — whether we want to or not — about young people’s sexuality and pregnancy and parenting that have been shaped by literally the worst fucking people of all time.

Teen pregnancy and teen parenting are massively stigmatized — at least, they are where I live in the United States, and I bet they are where you live, too. This stigma is so prominent that there’s a whole repro justice-oriented, intersectional campaign around respecting young people’s reproductive autonomy called #NoTeenShame, and I strongly encourage you to check it out and share it with your friend if she’s open to it. (For more on the subject, I extremely recommend Natasha Vianna’s work for some contextual reading on parenting while teenaged, plus more here and here and here on shame, stigma, and teen pregnancy and parenting.) We don’t have a lot of positive cultural narratives around teen parenting, and we have a whole fuckload of horror shit show stories about how becoming a teen parent ruins your life forever period the end full stop.

So how about … just owning that those narratives affect you, too? You could explore those feelings on your own, or try unpacking them with another friend who is not at all even a little bit involved with this situation. Examine where these pressure points come up for you — what parts of your friend’s decisions make you feel uncomfortable, angry, frustrated, judgmental, anxious, worried? What parts trigger a need to be kind of patronizing toward your friend? (Such as, for example, assuming that she doesn’t know how to navigate a medical establishment — when bonding over your shared experience with the medical establishment is already a big part of your friendship!) Sit with those feelings and acknowledge them and don’t try to cover them up with being friendly and helpful, because they will only fester, and eventually they’ll taint your actual experience with your friend, and you’ll really, really not be able to be there for her in a genuinely supportive way.

You don’t say how old you are, yourself, but maybe you know a thing or two about parenting at a young age, and maybe you’re hoping to save your friend from going through some of the same bullshit you’ve had to deal with in your life? That can definitely be a kind and loving instinct, but it can also be incredibly patronizing, and even infantilizing — especially if it’s coming from a place of you needing to feel better about something an entire other person is doing with their entire other body that has absolutely nothing to do with you in the most practical and literal sense. You’re not your friend’s parent, and you’re not your friend’s partner — your investment in your friend’s pregnancy is many degrees removed, which means you have a wonderful opportunity to be a cheerleader, and not yet another person in her life asking her “what about” questions as if her pregnancy has actually rendered her incapable of being both excited and nervous or scared or apprehensive at the same time, which is how folks often treat pregnant teens (and, frankly, pregnant adults, too, because misogyny is the fucking realest). You can certainly suggest: “Hey, I went through something similar, do you want my advice about this?” but only if you’re willing to take “Nope! I got this!” for an answer.

Anyone planning to become a mom at 15 years old is going to have plenty — P L E N T Y — of people in her life treating her like she doesn’t know her own mind or her own body. She is never going to lack people who are afraid at her all the time. She is going to mostly be surrounded by people telling her she’s making a dangerous and bad decision, and that she’s being irresponsible toward both herself and her future kiddo. The vast, vast majority of people — including her medical team, unless she has a radically progressive provider setup — who she encounters are going to be naysayers, and many of them are going to be concern trolls, and even the really well-meaning ones who love her a whole lot and only want the best for her are never going to stop asking her if she’s thought of this and that, if she’s read about the risks and the dangers, if she’s got a plan for A, B, and C, if she realizes that parenting and pregnancy are hard, if she wouldn’t rather do X, Y, Z so that she can do whatever it is people think you can’t do while parenting as a young person: go to school, have a career, enjoy your friends, have fun, etc.

And yes, raising a kid while you’re young is really hard. But it’s hard because many of our cultures mostly shame and stigmatize young people who choose to parent instead of offering them the support and resources they need to be happy and healthy. Teen parenting isn’t a scourge, but the way we treat teen parents certainly is. You can break that cycle right now!

Good luck to you both, and congrats to your friend! Sending all the great universe vibes for a safe and healthy pregnancy, and a long and happy friendship for y’all.

#teen parenting #teen pregnancy #teen sexuality #shame #stigma #parenting #pregnancy #good advice interlude #advice #reader questions #friendship #chronic illness #reproductive justice #bodily autonomy #reproductive rights

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iwalc · 3 years

Text

Surprise- Brian May x Reader

It was late. You sat on the sofa reading a book in front of the fireplace when you zoned out. You started to look around you and saw how beautiful your life had become. You were married to the one and only person you ever loved and together you had built this beautiful, incredible life. 2 years ago, 3 years into your marriage with Brian, you decided to have a child, a token of your love for each other. It was a rough start. There were numerous times where it didn't work at all, other times when you peed on the stick, soon after seeing a positive test, the excitement was immense and when you told Brian he got so excited, all of this to then be broken by the news of miscarriage. It broke the both of you but somehow you still managed to carry on. And for the reward of not giving in you could finally tell Brian once again that you were pregnant, and that time, all went well. In August 1980 you could finally give birth to a bouncing baby girl. It was a strange feeling, suddenly the gravity of your universe shifted and everything revolved around this tiny human, the beautiful Amanda that you and your husband, the love of your life had created and would cherish forever.

You had Brian, your beautiful girl Amanda, you had a beautiful and warm atmosphere you could call home, and there was nothing more that you wanted in life. Until a few months ago.

Your husband had started to secretly give you hints until he finally sat down with you and spat it out.

"Love?" he called silently since Amanda was sleeping, from the living room as you were in the bathroom catching up some laundry. "Yes, gorgeous" you answered just as you accomplished the task at hand. "Could you come here for a minute, there is something I'd like to talk to you about", "Ofc, I'll just wash my hands first". You thought about it as you washed your hands in the warm water. It must be something that's been on his mind for a while since whenever it's something ordinary he just spits it out, out of nowhere. You were curious.

When you walked towards the living room you saw him sitting on the sofa, his elbows resting on his knees, face in his hands. This worried you quite a bit. "Hey, what's up?" you asked as you sat down next to him, your hand automatically landing on his thigh. "I uh, I... There is something that's been on my mind" he started, looking down at his feet signalling his nervousness. "Well, I figured, I've noticed there's been something on your mind lately, but I didn't want to push you into talking with me if you didn't feel ready to." you gently said as you squeezed his tight gently. "I haven't found the right time to tell you and talk to you about it" he continued. "I want to know what's on your mind, love" you answered, really wanting to know. He turned his head to look at you for a moment, his curls falling off his shoulder, a smile tugging at his lips. "Do you want me to just spit it out or with some background information?" he asked chuckling a bit, "Do you think background information will be necessary?" you asked him smiling while adoring his beautiful features. His hazel, soft eyes, his prominent cheekbones, his jawline, his beautiful dark curls framing his gorgeous face. "No, not really. I uhm", "Brian, love, I know you are nervous but it's just me, spit it out", "I want another baby Y/N" he blurted out, waiting worriedly for your reaction, a small smile daring to tug at his lips. You were quite shocked, to be honest, it wasn't what you thought your husband had been thinking so much about. "You know Amanda is growing quickly, she's almost 2 years old now and I uhm, it would be nice to give her some company and" he didn't get to finish his explanation because of you interrupting him with a kiss. Taking him by surprise.

It was a brilliant idea. It made your stomach flutter with butterflies. You pulled back from the passionate kiss, seeing his chocked state made you laugh. He smiled at you, adoration poured into the gaze that reached your face. "I'd love to expand our family and have another child with you!" you squeaked, flying into his arms, which in turn led to chuckles escaping Brian's throat. The sound filled your heart and once again you thought about how perfect your life had become. You were so in love with everything, but most importantly Amanda and Brian.

The way he got so excited. The way his hazel eyes got deeper with adoration and excitement. The way his smile reached his eyes. The way he hugged you, telling you how happy you made him, how in love he was with you and to share his life with you. The way he existed. Your heart ached with love for this man.

And that day, it was set, you were going to try for a new baby. It wasn't always easy, already having a child to take care of, as well as Brians sometimes strange working schedule. However, to you, it was quite obvious it had worked. You were experiencing some symptoms, which reminded you of your first pregnancy: Absent period, hormonal imbalance, tender breasts, bloated, nausea in the mornings. Even Brian noticed some changes:

You had just gotten out of a late-night shower and were just going to change into your pyjama shirt when Brian suddenly commented something you found very strange. "Love, have you been missing your period?" he blurted out. This was something you never ever thought he'd ever think of, never the less keep track off. You turned around to stare at him, "Yes, in fact, I have, why?". "No, I was just thinking, I reckon you told me last month that we had to buy more pads and tampons til' this time, but neither of us has bought any and you have been feeling quite fine compared to how you use to feel when the time of the month comes around." he said like it was nothing, you just starred at him incredulously, at awe of the attention he had paid. "What? Did I say something wrong?" he asked as his face fell. "No, no you didn't. I'm just amazed by the attention you pay to those kinds of things. I wasn't prepared for the question nor the explanation for it." you said and chuckled as you dragged the shirt over your head. Walking to the bed you smiled to yourself, wow, what a man. As you buried yourself under the quilt, snuggling up to Brian who gladly put his arm around you he blurted out another incredulous comment. "I also can't help to notice that your breast has gotten bigger". You laughed at the comment. "I don't know if they're bigger, but tender they definitely are. How do you notice all of these things?" you couldn't help but ask as you looked up at him. "Well, I don't know, I guess I just do. And I've known you for about ten years now, and we've been together for almost eight of those. I would like to say I know you very well" he stated. "Well yes, you definitely do, and I love you for it!" you said as you reached up for a kiss, he chuckled a bit and smiled into the kiss.

Brian didn't ask anything after that, you know he had his suspicions but neither of you wanted to get the hopes up too early, regarding all of the tries before Amanda. However, after emptying your stomach one morning, you decided that it would be time to take a test. Brian couldn't be with you this time since he had work at the studio that had to be done, and since Amanda was spending time with her grandparents, Ruth and Harold, you figured it would be a perfect time. Since Brian wasn't home, nor did he know you were going to take a test, you decided to keep it a secret until you knew the result and decided to take it from there.

You had pregnancy tests laying around in a draw in the bathroom. You took one, peed on it, and while waiting for a result you went to eat some breakfast. Coming back to the bathroom to look at the test, you suddenly became very nervous, you really wanted it to be positive! You would hate to break the news to Brian, telling him that it was negative and that the symptoms had been a result of something else. You took a deep breath and grabbed the test. You slowly turned it around, feeling the nervousness clearly increase. All the fear suddenly washed away, it was positive.

Suddenly you felt all the emotions in the world all at once. Tears started to drip from your eyes as you smiled like crazy. The excitement was a fact which resulted in several exited screams and runs throughout the house. If anyone could see you they'd probably think you'd be crazy. But you didn't care because you were the happiest. You had more than you would ever wish for.

Before taking the test you were thinking about waiting to tell Brian until you've seen a doctor etc but now, there was no way you could make that happen. You tried not to call Brian at the studio to tell him. Instead, you rushed to the phone and decided to call Ruth and Harold.

It felt like it took forever before anyone picked up the phone. "The May household" you heard Harold answer. "Hi Harold, it's Y/N, how are you?", "Hello Dear, I'm fine thank you, how are you?" he asked, he sounded happy, it warmed your heart. You contemplated whether telling them or waiting. Apparently, you had been quiet for too long, "Is everything alright?" he seriously asked. You hesitated a bit, "Yeah, I uhm I think so", "You doesn't sound too sure about that dear, would you like to talk to Ruth?", "That would be nice, thank you, Harold". Harold was a great grandad and a wonderful father in law, however, you had always had a better connection towards Ruth.

You heard Harold calling for Ruth and some muffled noises. "Hello dear!" you heard Ruth's voice cheering through. "Hello Ruth, how are you? And Amanda?" you gently asked, not really levelling with her enthusiasm. "Oh I'm fine dear, thank you for asking. Amanda just ate some soup, so she's full and satisfied" she laughed. "That's great! I hope you're all having a good time and that she's behaving" you chuckled. "Oh dear, don't worry, she's the best!" you chuckled as an answer. "Now, Y/N, will you tell me what's wrong?", "I uhm, I was wondering if I could pick Amanda up a bit earlier than planned? Like today?", it was quiet for some time before she answered. "Oh, well yes of course you can! Is there something wrong?" she asked. "No, I don't think so at least" you chuckled, "I just want her home for tonight when Brians getting home.", "Y/N, I'm sorry but I can see right through you, there is something on your mind.", "Well yes, there are, I just don't know if I want to tell you before I tell Brian.", "Oh" and with this, you knew she understood. "Ok, I think you know by now anyway, I uhm, I'm..... pregnant, and I wanted to" you didn't get to finish your sentence because there was a scream on the other end and it made you laugh. "Oh my heavens, Congratulations!! I am so happy for you two!" she almost screamed. "Don't get too excited Ruth, it's still pretty early" you voiced your fears. "Oh dear, I understand your fear, I really do, but it will be alright in the end, I promise!", at this you got emotional, tears started to stream down your cheeks and you sniffled, "Oh love, It will be alright! We'll pack Amandas things and then we'll be right over, okay?", "Okay" you sniffled, "Thank you Ruth!", "No worries dear!", "Ruth before you begin packing things up, you don't have too, you can have her back tonight or tomorrow if you want.", "That sounds nice if it's alright with you two, but I guess you would appreciate some time alone to talk and everything, so we'll happily come and pick her up tomorrow again!", "That sounds great, I know she loves being with you two! I won't hold you up any longer, see you soon then", "Yes darling, see you soon!"

You took a deep breath. Wow. This was a rollercoaster.

You were so happy and so appreciative for Ruth and Harold. Brian and Harold haven't always been on great terms but the last year things have been amazing between them and both Harold and Ruth have always been amazing towards you. They are great, amazing! And there is no wonder why Brian is so great.

---

You were in the bedroom and looking for a specific body that Amanda had, knowing that Brian would know exactly when he saw it, when you heard knock on the front door. You quickly ran downstairs and opened to great your baby and parents in law.

"Hi," you both said at the same time as you opened the door. Ruth walked inside first and greeted you with a big smile, embracing you in a hug only a mother could. "You look great!" she happily said as her hands went to your cheeks, you chuckled a bit "Thanks, I don't feel great" you laughed, hoping not to get further questions. Harold stepped inside and handed you your baby girl, oh you had missed her. "Hi baby," you said in a squealing voice before showering her in kisses, making her laugh. Harold walked up to you, and to your surprise leaned in for a hug, he's not a hugging person normally, you gently hugged him and received a happy congratulations wish. "I'm happy for you both," he said, "Thank you so much, Harold," you said and gave him a joyous smile, just as you also felt tears streaming down. "Oh wow, I'm a mess" you laughed as you brushed the tears off. "No worries dear, I was the same when I was expecting Brian" she laughed and Harold agreed, not pleased with the recall of memories. You all broke down in laughs.

You welcomed them inside and as always they made themselves feel at home as you served some tea and biscuits. Ruth was playing with Amanda on the sofa. "Has she taken her nap today?" you asked as you saw how Amanda started to get cranky and sleepy. "No she hasn't, she was about to fall asleep in the car on our way here but we thought it was better to keep her awake so she could sleep here.", "Maybe we should go take a nap, baby girl," you said as you approached them on the sofa. Suddenly, Harold stood up, "I can take her to nap, if that's ok?" he asked, "Yes of course," you said as you walked and picked Amanda up and handed her to Harold. "I'll be upstairs with the bottle in a minute," you said as you walked to the kitchen to prepare the bottle.

---

Amanda was happily asleep upstairs and Ruth and Harold had just left. However, before they left they handed me a little box and you thought that now would be a good time opening it. Inside you could see a yellow shirt, in Amanda's size. When you unfolded the soft material you saw the cutest thing. The shirt had "Promoted Big Sister" embroidered on the front. You chuckled slightly as an idea about how to reveal the news to Brian popped up in your head.

This will be perfect.

---

Amanda was seated in her chair as you finished up the rest of the dinner. For the occasion, you had made Brians favourite dinner.

You had been so distracted by the food that you hadn't heard Brian coming home. You only noticed when Amanda squealed when she saw him entering the large kitchen. You turned around and was treated by a sight that could melt your heart a thousand times over. Brians had picked her up and were showing her with hugs and kisses, making the baby girl let out belly laughs. You felt how you were about to cry but quickly turned around again to brush them away.

Brian put Amanda back in her chair for a moment and approached you. Wrapping his arms around your waist, his lips brushed against your neck and kissed your temple. "Hi" you gently voiced. "Hello, love," he said and kept kissing your cheek. "It smells delicious," he said and placed one last kiss on your ear. "It's your favourite," you said and put down the spatula to turn around and greet him properly. "I noticed, what do I owe the pleasure?" he said as you wrapped your hands around his neck, his hands placed on your waist. "nothing special" you lied. "How was your day?" you asked as you leaned in for a hug, hugging his waist, his hands brushing your back. You could smell his cologne, feel his arms tightening around you. "It was okay, nothing special," he said, his voice low. He pulled away from the hug to look at you. One of his hands stroke some hair behind your ear to then cup your cheek. "How was your day? And why's Amanda home, shouldn't she be at my parents?", "They came to visit earlier and I wanted her home, but she's going back tomorrow," you said as you adored his face. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was like nothing else, your whole body tingled. You felt the excitement again.

The dinner was nothing special. Brian kept complimenting the food, which warmed your heart. Throughout the whole dinner, you just kept adoring the little family you have and the excitement to reveal that one more was on the way kept getting stronger and you were growing impatient.

Amanda played with a rattle toy while you and Brian both cleaned up after the dinner, stealing hugs and kisses here and there.

When the kitchen was done cleaning you honestly felt exhausted, and Brian, being the wonderful husband he is, sensed that. He walked up to you and kissed your forehead as he hugged you. "You go sit down and relax and I'll take care of Manda" he said and kissed you again. "Thank you" you whispered.

Brian kissed you once more and walked excitedly towards Amanda, "Come here baby girl, it's time for jammies" he said as he picked her up and threw her up in the air, making her laugh once again. You felt at peace and happy as you saw them giggling, making their way down to the nursery.

It was getting quite late. You sat down on the sofa reading a book in front of the fireplace when you zoned out. You started to look around you and saw how beautiful your life had become. You were married to the one and only person you ever loved and together you had built this beautiful incredible life. And the excitement for the news Brian is left to find out is very much evident.

You couldn't focus on reading the book, you just sat there biting you lip slightly and listening to what was happening in the nursery. You heard Brian talk to Manda and her giggles. Until it all stopped.

Silent took over the house, the only thing you could hear was Mandas joller and the fire in the fireplace.

"Love?" Brian called for you. You didn't answer, you wanted to see his reaction without you interfering to early. "Y/N" he almost shouted. Silence took over again.

Apparently, he grabbed Amanda and the shirt he had discovered and worked to the living room. "What is this?" he said, trying to hide his excitement if it weren't true. "It's a new shirt I bought for Manda" you chuckled. He looked so confused. His eyes went from looking on Amanda, to the shirt, to you. "What?" he blurted out, confusion written all over him. You rose up from the sofa and approached him. He had put Amanda down on the floor as he inspected the shirt.

You walked towards him and when there was almost no space between you he looked up at you, studied your expression. You smiled and took the shirt out of his hands and folded it and put it on the table. You walked up to him again and smiled. He tilted his head a bit, once again showing his confusion. You took his hands and brought them up to kiss them and then placed them gently on your lower stomach to get the message through. He caught on immediately. His eyes widened and he let out a breath. "Ooh my lord" he breathed as he adjusted his hands slightly, his gaze fixated on your belly. You chuckled and once again felt tears forming in your eyes. "I'm pregnant, Brian" you said smiling as the tears ran down your cheeks. He looked up at you and a smile spread across his face, "Really?" he asked as he looked at you. "Yes, I took three tests and all of them was positive".

Brian moved his hands and embraced you in a loving, comforting hug. His head was placed in the curve of your neck, his hands wrapped around you, your hands on his back, feeling his warmth, feeling the soft curls against your cheek. What you discovered next melted your heart. You heard sniffles coming from Brian.

You broke the embrace and looked at him, your hands holding his cheeks, your thumbs brushing away the tears, as more tears streamed from your eyes. You both were crying out of happiness, and soon enough you were both laughing. Brian held your waist, "Oh boy I love you!" he said as he laughed and kissed you. "I love you more" you gently said, looking into his hazel eyes. "Thank you" he then said as a wave of more tears streamed down his rosy cheeks. He leaned his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes. "I.. I don't even know what to say. I love you so much and there is no other I'd want to share my life with. You make me happy, you're keeping me on track, you are my universe. I love you so much and I am so grateful for you! You have given me the best gift of live already once, and now again. I... I'm speechless. I love you so much! And I am so excited" he laughed. "I am so excited. Im so excited for all that the future has to bring us. To see Amanda grow up, to see this little bean grow" he placed his hands on your stomach, "I love you, so much!" he started to cry again. This hit you hard. How did you end up with this fantastic man? If only you could show him how much you meant to him so he could really understand.

"Baby, I love you! So much! And I am so happy. I have more than I could ever have asked for. I have a wonderful husband, who's also my best friend. You cheer me up when I'm down, you comfort me when I'm sad, you laugh with me when I'm happy. I am so glad and grateful that I get to share my life with you too. I love you so much it hurts!" you said and kissed his swollen, red lips to then hug him tight.

You were so excited for what the future would bring. You would never want to do this with anyone else. This was perfect.

--------------------

I hope you liked this one! I surely do! If you guys want maybe I could build this story further, maybe to follow them throughout the pregnancy or something? Let me know what you think!

#brian may fluff #brian may x reader fluff #dad!brian may #80s #queen band #love #brian may #brian may fanfiction #brian may fic #brian may imagine #brian may smut #brian may x oc #brian may x reader

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shotorozu · 3 years

Note

hellooo i saw this tiktok video and was wondering if you can please do this for shoto kaminari and bakugou

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJkeaV68/

‘i got a big fat 😳🎂’

character(s) : todoroki shouto, kaminari denki, bakugou katsuki (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, crack (x reader)

note(s) : LMAO ANON YOU LITERALLY READ MY MIND?? I WAS GOING TO DO THIS EVEN WITHOUT A REQUEST— great to know that i have the same thinking process with you 🤩

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

noooow

you know shouto’s always willing to do tiktok challenges with you— he might be clueless when it came to social media (because of end**vor)

but! he’s gotten used to your antics most of them anyway

but he’s sort of confused when you show him a video of a couple uh.. walking?? he can’t tell what they’re doing exactly

“what,, are they doing?” is what he asked when you showed him the tiktok, brows furrowed in confusion

“they’re uh.. kekeing how do i explain it— nevermind that! just do whatever i do, shouto!”

he’s still confused as hell 🧍‍♀️ but he decides to not ask any questions, and push through with it, just by seeing the excited look on your face

and the audio 😳 i mean, it’s not,, wrong. to him, your cake is some fine ass cake :))

you lead him out of the frame, and you hit play— not giving shouto time to ‘rehearse’

it might seem to be that shouto has no reaction to the audio, but if you look closely— the corners of his lips are tugged upwards slightly

and he follows your every command, when you gesture for him to copy you.

now, shouto’s got the dance steps down, but man’s terribly stiff 😭 he also kept looking at you (specifically your ass) to see if he was doing things correctly

afterwards, the two of you take a look at the video. and, he asks you if the tiktok needs to be filmed once again by your silent reaction

but he’s appalled when he sees you literally driven to tears from pure, unfiltered laughter

you assure him with a kiss that you’re fine, and insist that the tiktok is fine as you upload it— and you cuddle with shouto for the rest of the day, letting the tiktok marinate

the next day comes by, and tiktok BLEW UP. like.. blew up, really. they should be honored that they’ve witnessed shouto strut to nicki minaj

the comments being well, absolutely hilarious. you could read through the comments again and again, and not be bored

“mann your boyfriend 😭 he’s staring too hard” “YUHH GET IT, I GUESS” “go hot couple go ‼️”

needless to say, he didn’t hear the end of the conversation when bakugou found out about the tiktok

kaminari denki

if denki had a list of tiktok challenges he desperately wanted to do at some point in his life,

this would be in the top 3, for sure

so, luck seemed to be on his side when you approached him first— wanting to rope him in on another tiktok you wanted to do with him

hopefully one that doesn’t center him as the poor unfortunate victim

“you wanna do another tiktok?” he beams when you nod, and when you show him what the prank is— he’s excited!!

you can clearly tell that it didn’t take that much convincing

the blond’s also thankful that it’s not another tiktok that needs him to ask bakugou if he can say pegasus but without the pega 💀

“alright! tell me when we can do it,”

“right now.”

so here he is, standing beside you, as you set up your phone— absolutely confident on what he’s going to do

the tiktok starts running, and denki might’ve underestimated his eagerness, when the camera captures his eager expression 💀

there was no jumpscare warning

and you didn’t even have to say ‘c’mon‼️’ for him to follow your movements. as soon as you turned your back, he started moving along with you, and the music.

he was watching your movements, and he tried copying them to the best of his sloppy, hyper and exaggerated abilities

denki was so excited about being in the tiktok, to the point he literally crashed behind you— making the both of you tumble to the floor, laughing

and the tiktok’s results are pretty much unknown to him— minus the fact that you laughed HARDER when you re-watched the tiktok

“can i see?” he asks eagerly, but you swiftly reject— shoving his head away from your screen with a hand.

he pouts when you say “the results are a surprise!” a bummer, but he chooses to trust you, and the rest of the day is spent on the floor in pure enjoyment

you upload the tiktok and slowly but surely, it attracts people’s attention

because of denki’s eagerness— he,, did a fantastic job with the walk! you can even say that he did better than you, minus the not so graceful fall

even the comments agree with you “MAN HIS CAKE IS THANGING‼️” “he did awfully well omg 💀” “oh to have this relationship’s energy 😔 when can i find a dude like that?”

and when denki finally sees the tiktok’s results, he’s left in tears from laughing— reduced into wheezes

DANK-i : BABE WHDJWKDKE THE TIKTOK YOU JUST POSTED— 😭💀💀 IM IN TEARS

safe to say, his wish has been fulfilled, and he can pass away at any given moment, satisfied.

bakugou katsuki

bakugou katsuki will never admit that he does enjoy doing tiktoks with you

plot twist : he enjoys it a lot more than he expects

but he knows where the draw the line, and the line was at the new tiktok you’ve showed to him

“no.”

“but—”

“fuck no— if you wanted to twerk infront of a camera, go ahead by all means, just don’t rope me into it.”

he does have his reasons. one— the bakusquad will make fun of him, and two— if the tiktok were to blow up,, he wouldn’t live it down.

and it always does— he knows that tiktoks do particularly well if he makes an appearance.

“if i didn’t post it, would you do it with me?”

but katsuki seemed to be fine with that. with a roll of the eyes, he sighs— looking at the tiktok once again. he gets up from his seat when the tiktok’s over

“let’s do this fucking thing.” he says with determination, even though no one was going to see the tiktok anyway or so he thinks

the tiktok’s video timer starts counting down, giving the both of you guys ample time to get into position

a smirk couldn’t be held back when you state that “i have a big phat 🎂” it’s anything but lies, and it would be the only time katsuki would smile on camera

you go forward, and you gesture for him to follow on beat— with a focused glare, katsuki starts strutting with you like no one’s business

it’s at a slow pace, and people would’ve guessed that he had a stick up his ass, sure— but damn‼️ he has those moves.

and before the video actually ends, he’s seen turning around with a glare— to see if the camera’s not filming it’s still running, and the camera captures his expression

“not bad.” he can’t help but smirk at the results, when you replay the video “i’m referring to the both of us. and, didn’t know you could move like that.”

“katsuki, your pace was like a grandfather’s—”

“shut the hell up!”

but little did katsuki know, when he wasn’t looking, you published the tiktok online, for everyone to view (basically, 3M people have seen him strut to nicki minaj)

the comments were having a blast “we’ll disregard the pace, buT DAMN‼️WHERE DID HE GET THOSE MOVES?” “LOL HIS FACE AT THE END WAS LIKE👹🤨” “y’all catch that at the beginning? woooh he’s lovesick.”

when you woke up the next morning— you can hear the boom of his quirk outside of your room, and you can practically hear his not so happy voice

fly high 😔🕊 you will be missed

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

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merakiui · 3 years

Note

What do you think of the concept of yan!xiao, childe venti trapping their darling in a teapot?

I feel like they would be less restrictive since the darling wouldn't necessarily be able to escape most likely, so they wouldn't worry about restraint much. Esp in Ventis case...he is the God of freedom so while his darling isn't exactly 'free' they're still kinda free in a way that they have their own world to be free in?

Xiao would probably be somewhat restricted, but only just keep them in the house because he probably wouldn't trust them to be by themselves yet--he figures they may try to run off and hide from him or something

Childe would probably let them try to "escape" on purpose and would be absolutely amused when his darling finds out they wouldn't be able to leave

(cw: yandere, captivity, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, mention of children and implied stockholm syndrome for childe’s part)

Venti doesn't exactly lie to you, but he does trick you. He's aware that it's not the nicest thing to do and that it's not exactly captivity if you're living in a world that resembles the one outside. Only this pocket-sized world is nicer and happier and there aren't any people to get in the way. He tells you about it when you're vulnerable. Maybe you're drunk or you're crying your eyes out because something horrible happened. Either way, you're not in the right state of mind when you make the comment: "I wish I could live in my own ideal world for just one day." And this is great news for Venti because it makes relocation so much easier.

He shows you the teapot and explains it briefly, leaving out certain details. It's better if you don't know everything about how the teapot works. After all, ignorance is bliss. Venti tells you how to get in, but he doesn't tell you how to get out. And the way he describes it makes it sound so tempting—as if living inside this teapot for a bit will cure whatever's bothering you. You decide it wouldn't hurt to spend a day or two inside the teapot to see the little world Venti holds in the palms of his hands.

It's a lot of fun at first. You and Venti glide from the top of the mountains in Emerald Peak, he sings melodious ballads as you look up at the sky, and the two of you play hide-and-seek inside of the house, playfully popping out of rooms and laughing when you’re caught. Eventually the charm wears off and you start to yearn for the outside world. It’s not the same in the teapot. As pretty and peaceful as it may be, it still feels so empty. And when you bring it up to Venti he finds small ways to change the subject. It probably plays out like this:

“Venti, I’d like to go home now.”

“But we were just about to play another round of hide-and-seek! Come on! Don’t be a spoilsport! One more round? Then we’ll leave.”

Or he’ll tell you that you’re already home. There’s always a big smile on his face when he says stuff like that. He’s happy that he gets to spend so much time with you and no one can interfere. But it does get annoying when you start to beg for the old world. Your pleas to leave will fall upon his deaf ears. Venti does feel a little bad when you start to sulk, but his sympathy is short-lived. Let’s not forget that you were the one who wanted this. You wanted to live in your ‘ideal world.’ And isn’t this ideal?

As an adeptus, Xiao is aware of Sub-Space Creation and the effort it takes to construct a presentable teapot. He’s been working hard on his ever since you came into his life. Before he knew you he didn’t have a reason to put effort into it because he stays at Wangshu Inn, but after he met you he started working a lot harder. He tries to make the teapot as comfortable as possible. You mentioned you like dogs or cats in passing? You can find a few in the teapot. You said you like berry bushes and flower fields? There’s a bunch in his teapot. He probably has a nearly perfect model of your room in there as well. Before he brings you into the teapot, he’ll often sit in that room and make sure everything replicates the original, down to the bed frame and the fabric used for the pillow case.

He’ll put some of your things in it just so it feels more personal. Xiao knows he’s stealing from you whenever he does this, but it’s not like you ever noticed anything was missing. Besides, it’s all going in the teapot anyways. You won’t even need your real room or mortal possessions anymore. Xiao is actually quite proud of the teapot and manages to fool himself into thinking you’ll like it, too. And you do (for the first few days, that is). He’s very forward with his question of whether or not you’d like to see his teapot. And you eagerly nod because the two of you are friends and Xiao wants to show you something he made and he looks a little…excited? There’s definitely light in his eyes when he gets your agreement to view the inside of his teapot.

Once you’re inside, you’re genuinely surprised. It’s far more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. The Floating Abode is a really gorgeous landscape. You’re so caught up in looking at the sunset and the flowers and the animals that roam the teapot that you aren’t aware of the horrors that lie just beyond. You’ll find the room that resembles yours in no time and it’s really creepy. As much as you try to tell yourself that Xiao means well and wouldn’t actually do something like this on purpose, it’s hard to ignore the fact that everything is practically identical to your room. It’s so, so strange. You want to ignore it, but you just can’t. It’s so obvious.

It’s definitely creepy, but you don’t have the heart to tell him.

You hold your tongue because you don’t want to hurt his feelings. You’re really the only close friend he has, so you’d feel bad if you insulted his interior decorating skills. Xiao’s pleased to hear that you like it so much. Praise falls from your lips like a waterfall and it gives him a sense of relief. He’s so happy that you like it and since you’re okay with it it’ll be fine if you live here. When he tells you that, your brain freezes and you’re not sure how to respond.

“Live here? Like…permanently?”

And to your shock he nods.

Xiao is far less lenient than Venti. With Venti everything feels like eternal, childish fun with the idea of freedom sprinkled in. But with Xiao it’s definitely a harsher form of captivity. You aren’t allowed outside because he’s worried you might fall off of the bridges that connect the floating islands or you might try to find your way out of the teapot. So you’re confined to the mansion. It’s got everything you could ever need and the interior design matches that of your home perfectly. Just treat it like it’s your own home and it won’t be so bad. You definitely try to see the good in this situation because you care about Xiao, but it’s so hard when he’s keeping you here like you’re just another addition to his teapot.

It’s miserable, but at least you can count on him to visit you every single day.

Childe is very receptive to the idea of owning his own little world in a small teapot. Maybe he was holding you captive before he came upon the teapot and while you’re sleeping he relocates you. You don’t expect to wake up in a new location, but you assume you’re still somewhere in Liyue. Childe finds it cute that you’re so startled, clearly confused with the change in scenery. And when you glance at the surroundings on the Cool Isle, it feels like you might have a chance. Childe seems to think so because he waves you off, telling you with the sincerest voice that you’re ‘free to go.’

You don’t need to be told twice and so you run because you’re invigorated. You can leave and he’s not coming after you. Childe doesn’t even raise his bow in warning. You’re actually leaving him and he’s letting you! But it feels too good to be true. A day passes and you learn that there’s no one else to help you. So you find an empty shack on the shoreline and you hide in it because survival is the only thing you know right now. And the day goes by, the night comes, and morning makes its arrival. You’re still safe. He hasn’t found you.

And it really feels like you can make it out of this. Even if there’s no one around, you can still find something to help you. You’d take anything at this point. By the end of the week, you’re losing sight of your goal and you really just want to head back to the mansion and nap on a comfortable bed. You’ve been catching the crabs and the fish and doing what you can to start a long-lasting fire. When Childe finds you, you’re so exhausted from running and hiding that you collapse into his arms. And he smiles so sweetly while he tells you something that shatters your entire world.

“You did well, comrade, but this isn’t Liyue. You have no need to run.”

It’s not even Teyvat. It’s another world entirely—one existing solely within a teapot. And everything comes crashing down when you realize just how impossible that makes any escape attempts. No human contact. No energy or life that comes from meeting with friends and seeing family. It truly does feel like you and he are the only people in this world.

Childe knows that you’ll adjust to this new world whether you like it or not. It was fun to toy with you in the beginning (and it still is) when you didn’t realize this was the world inside the teapot. But now he just wants to settle into a comfortable life. He takes every chance he has to visit you and eventually you’ll find yourself succumbing to the relaxing pleasures of domestic life. You learn how to cook delicious meals with Childe’s help, you collect seashells on the shore to cure your boredom, and you’ll take care of any chores or housework. It warms Childe’s heart to see you accepting this life.

Maybe the two of you can start a family. Maybe he should get a few pets to liven up the house. It’s not like you can get away from him while inside the teapot, so it’s a recipe for anything to happen. And you’ve come to learn that what happens in the teapot stays in the teapot.

#chit chat #yandere #yandere venti #yandere xiao #yandere childe

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lxngbottom · 3 years

Text

Wow. | N.L.

in which the reader is given a dare, and she definitely won’t turn it down.

warnings: a little bit of nsfw, swearing, underage drinking.

word count: 1,642

idek i project all my crazy personal experiences onto my one shots sorry babes

—

the night was supposed to be fun. you were supposed to go the the gryffindor party, get drunk, dance all over your friends, and go back to your dorm. but that all changed when seamus finnigan got involved,

“longbottom has never seen a pair of boobs before! isn’t that right?” seamus smirked, looking over at his awkward friend.

neville huffed, “why did you have to say that out loud?”

seamus, dean, harry, & ron all laughed at the boy’s embarrassment. but they couldn’t laugh too much, knowing full well that they themselves had never seen a pair of boobs before either.

“you want to see a pair tonight, longbottom?” seamus asked him, that dumb smirk still plastered onto his face. neville absolutely hated when seamus got drunk. he seemed to totally forget to concept of boundaries and a filter,

“i really don’t—“

“i got the perfect candidate, too!” seamus interrupted, his speech slurred from all the affects of the alcohol. “look,” he pointed over towards y/n y/l/n. she giggled at something her friend said, and seamus’s smirk only got wider as he witnessed neville staring at you with nothing but pure adoration.

“do you know how many guys at hogwarts have seen her boobs? last time i checked, she had sex with like... four or five guys!”

this talk was quite common when your name came up in a conversation. you had hooked up with quite a few guys, and you regretted it greatly. you never knew how quick things could get around at hogwarts until a group of hufflepuff girls were yelling terrible and vile names at you two days after you had lost your virginity.

according to the general consensus at hogwarts, you were a slag.

but your true friends would say otherwise, and they were right. it didn’t matter how many guys you had slept with, you were still a person, and you deserved just as much as respect as everyone else did.

neville longbottom didn’t see you as that, though. he had talked to you quite a few times, even developed a small crush on you. but, he knew he never had a chance. out of all the guys that chased you, he knew you would never pick him.

“those are just rumors.” neville quickly retorted, shooting down what seamus had said. “don’t say things like that about her... it’s not true.”

the boys laughed once more, “oh don’t worry, longbottom. i’m not calling your little crush a slag, i’m just simply stating what i’ve heard.” seamus patted neville’s shoulder, “but, enough of all that. i have an idea that is going to benefit you, longbottom.”

neville furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “what—“

“just watch.”

before neville could even stop him, seamus was making his way over towards you. neville tried his best to protest, but ron held him back.

“merlin, what in the bloody hell is he even doing?” neville asked nervously, running his hand through his hair. his friends didn’t respond, only looked on to the conversation between you and seamus.

after a few minutes, which seemed like hours to neville, seamus begin to walk back, but you followed right behind him.

“hi, guys!” you greeted the boys sweetly, waving your hand a bit. “seamus gave me a dare, and i’m here to follow through with it.”

“what was the dare?” dean asked you, taking a sip of his drink. you grinned a bit, and your eyes found neville’s.

you suddenly held your hand out right in front of neville, ignoring dean’s question. he had a very confused look on his face as you waited for him to take your hand. “come on, longbottom. i don’t have all night.”

“yeah, come on, longbottom! she doesn’t have all night...” seamus whispered into his ear, and he laughed as he pulled away.

neville had no idea what his friend was up to, but he couldn’t ignore the sweet smile on your face, and the way you stood patiently for him. from what he could tell from knowing who you were for so long, seeing you in shared classes, you had always been a patient person. you sat hand in foot for people if they needed time for something, and that was something neville definitely was not used to.

he shakily took your hand, and you started to walk him towards the stairs that led to the boy’s dormitory. you heard whistles and cheers erupting from his friends, but ignored them, as that was just the way boys were.

“show me where your dorm is,” you requested, and he reluctantly nodded.

he was terrified of what seamus might’ve said to you. his intoxicated self could’ve out right told you that neville had the biggest crush on you, and neville promised himself that if that was the case, he wouldn’t speak to seamus ever again.

when you two arrived into his dorm, he awkwardly sat down on his own bed as you stepped a few feet in front of him. no words were spoken as you started the dare by unbuttoning your shirt.

“whoa, whoa, what are you doing?!” neville quickly asked, and you stopped. you raised an eyebrow at him,

“the dare that seamus asked me about. he said you knew about it,” you informed him, and neville scoffed. “you don’t know about it, do you?”

neville shook his head, “what exactly is the dare?”

you stayed silent for a moment, embarrassed and caught up in your next choice of words, “well... he sorta dared me to... show you my boobs. he said you never saw any before, and that you wanted to really bad.”

neville’s jaw was practically on the floor. he couldn’t believe that seamus had lied. but now, he was stuck in the most awkward position he possibly could’ve ever been in.

“i didn’t—i—oh, merlin...”

your eyebrows furrowed, as neville seemed more stressed than excited about the dare. you had never seen a boy look so miserable to see a pair of boobs in your whole life.

“what’s wrong?” you asked, genuinely concerned for the boy who’s face was now hiding in the palms of his hands. he was a bit taken back to here you ask that, as no one had asked him that question in a very long time. and, when he finally did look up at you, you seemed worried.

he didn’t want you to worry over him, though. so he quickly shook his head and rubbed his eyes, “oh, nothing. it’s—it’s nothing. i’m alright.”

you nodded, but still didn’t take it as the truth.

“well... do you want to still see them, or...?”

in that moment, a desire clicked within neville. he was still angry at seamus, and the predicament he was stuck in with you, but he couldn’t ignore the burning sensation in his gut when you had asked him that.

but, he knew it was wrong. “yes—i mean—no! no, i do not want to see your boobs!”

you chuckled quietly at his words, and the way he was seemingly trying to convince himself more than you that he “didn’t” want to see your boobs.

“well, alright then. that’s cool...”

you then sat right next to him on his bed, letting out a soft breath of air. he looked over at you, clearly still embarrassed from this whole ordeal.

“it’s okay if you wanted to, you know? and also, it’s okay that you’ve never seen them before, either. seeing them or not doesn’t make you more or less of a man, longbottom. i hope you know that.”

your words didn’t come from a place of pity, but from a place of worry. neville was the complete opposite of you, inexperienced, nervous. and that was fine in your eyes, but you could tell he thought the complete opposite.

“seamus is an arse for putting both of us on the spot like this.” you sighed, rolling your eyes.

there was a beat of silence before neville finally responded, “he is. a big one.”

the response made you look over at him, and you both chuckled.

before you knew it, you and neville were having an actual conversation. a huge party going on downstairs, but it truly just felt like the two of you.

you never really knew neville on a deep level, but after tonight, you wished you had known him like that for years. he had so many interests, and he was very knowledgeable about them, too. any bit of his life that he provided you details about intrigued you. the boy was so fascinating, and you couldn’t believe you never took the time out of your life to get to know him before.

at one point, you decided on the fact that your friends were probably worried sick about you. so, you decided that it was time to part ways with the special lad.

as you two passed goodbyes back and forth, you stopped when you opened the door. you smirked to yourself, and turned back around to face him.

“hey, longbottom...”

he looked up at you, showing that he was being attentive.

“i don’t turn down dares.”

before neville longbottom knew it, your once buttoned shirt was now opened, revealing all the uncharted territory that traced your skin.

his breath hitched, and as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t rip his eyes away from you. the way your curves dipped, the way your nipples began to turn hard from the chilly dorm air meeting them. it was all too much.

“goodnight, longbottom!” you giggled innocently, before leaving him all alone in his dorm.

his mouth was left agape. he couldn’t stop thinking about you, or... them. you were absolutely more perfect than he ever could’ve pictured.

“wow.” he breathed out,

his body fell back onto his bed, and he stared up at the canopy above him.

what a night.

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter smut #neville longbottom #neville longbottom imagine #neville longbottom smut #neville x reader

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simplepotatofarmer · 3 years

Text

'technoblade has never questioned himself': a redirect rebuttal

normally i would never make a post like this but three people messaged me about it and since i just recently covered this, i thought i would come back but with actual sources and lay it all out. i'm also taking off my anarchist hat for most of the post and coming at this from a character standpoint only.

first and foremost, i want to point out that c!techno is not someone to talk about his feelings or even things he's done or things that have happened that are stressful/could bring conflict. we see this a lot (i was actually in the middle of writing a post about it as i think it's one of techno's main flaws). i'm not going pull up sources on this because i think if you've watched one techno lore stream, you'll know. so we kind of need to set expectations here.

if the expectation is c!techno just talking about it, then he has. he's mentioned it quite a few times. this clip here, he talks about how people think anarchism is violent because he's committed 'mass terrorism'. is it super thoughtful or in-depth? no. is it very much inline with how we know techno handles things? yes. now, if the issue is that techno responds in that sort of manner about, well, everything then that's a completely different conversation. and one i think is worth having! but again, to the direct issue of 'techno has never talked about it', he has, multiple times, particularly in the two syndicate streams (forming a secret organization and developing the syndicate) and in the 'first meeting' stream.

and in all of those examples, he displays a very techno-like admittance to the fact his tactics didn't work and aren't a good example. in this clip, he says that he's trying to be a better example in a conversation with c!niki about doomsday and anarchism. it's very clear that he knows it wasn't the best way to go about it and continues on to say that doomsday was only partially about anarchism and that his other motivation was revenge for what was done to him and phil.

he makes similar comments about his 'brand' during the first meeting stream while they're recruiting c!ranboo. once again, he says that the violence was him, not what anarchism is. (clip found here) when ranboo says that he would be good at helping rebrand since he's good at being nonviolent, techno agrees.

now, throughout that whole conversation, techno does push back on c!phil's statements about him becoming reformed, saying he wouldn't go that far. so, he has considered that violence isn't the best tactic and while he is trying to change it and put forth a better 'brand', he doesn't necessarily think he was wrong. which falls under the 'think about it even if he decides he was right' category.

and taking a step back from the roleplay angle, we know cc!techno isn't comfortable doing heavy lore or angst and so what we have here is his way of addressing those things. i can understand if people don't like that style or find it off-putting and i think that's valid but his reactions are consistent and everything he's said and done about doomsday falls under how we know he reacts to those things. again, this is a flaw of c!techno's, one i'm excited to address in the next post, but it doesn't mean that the topic hasn't been broached by c!techno because it has.

i resisted including any of the post red festival conversations though i think they're relevant as it's techno very clearly stating that violence didn't convince anyone that governments were wrong but in closing i do want to point out that techno is fully aware he's not a good person and, pre-doomsday, is attempting to be a good person in this clip.

in closing, i fundamentally disagree with the idea that he's never questioned himself/reflected on what he's done let alone that he's never even spoken about it because we see him do just that. it may not be a perfect example and that's completely fair, but he has done it. i genuinely feel badly about this post and it's so far out of the realm of what i normally do but i think it's important. i think people need to know what techno has said.

the links separately are under the cut, just to make it a bit easier.

https://youtube.com/clip/UgzDGkXDwJDpA3aG8sx4AaABCQ

clip about how he committed terrorism

https://youtube.com/clip/Ugzge1MM6rE3MxCL9vR4AaABCQ

clip about being a better example

https://youtube.com/clip/UgyUrmtlckXHa0AXrVd4AaABCQ

clip about being a good person

https://youtube.com/clip/UgySxsulQbJcWfOn3eZ4AaABCQ

talking about changing his brand and destroying l'manberg

#this is the most nervous i've ever been about a post but also i care SO much about techno and like. it's right there!#the clips are right there!#technoblade #dream smp #dsmp analysis #dream smp analysis #dsmpblr #also also despite how badly i feel about this post it'd be a HUGE help if you reblog this #if you see it on the dash. because we all know tumblr sucks with outside links. and i have to include the links okay.#loyal does meta

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levisgirll · 3 years

Note

Hi! Can you do a headcanon of Levi being jealous/posessive when someone tries to flirt with his crush?

𝐦𝐲 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐰𝐧 (𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

text: Hello anon! Thank you so much for the request🥺 Of course I can! and I hope you like what I wrote💞 (also I’m sorry this took some time! this week and last week was just so stressful ahhh) incoming some cute jelly levi boi, I also realized now we need more of this- ALSO will be using this fact stated by Isayama about levi getting jealous which is he wouldn’t get jealous over his lover because he would trust them, although if he were to be jealous he’d stay low about it then by time explode. in this case it would be his crush and not lover as requested! (incoming some real cute fluff and levi being a cutie who is a bit jealous <3)

synopsis: Levi Ackerman isn’t the one who would get easily affected by others, he wouldn’t care most of the time what people would do and say to him. But....he has a crush on y/n for the longest time now and it seems his feelings is growing too with time. He notices some scouts trying to tease and flirt with his crush, he starts to feel something about it and pushes the thought away, but the feeling is still present. One day, something happens and he can’t take it anymore and becomes a bit possessive and clingy towards y/n!

fluff, aot world, headcanon fanfic ♡ —

You let out a long sigh as you were heading back to the survey crops headquarters from your training. Today was a really busy and stressful day as you had to train a lot and also manage to keep up with everyone.

You joined not long ago and you still were trying to fit in, learn new skills from others, and kept on training to catch up with others. Many saw you as a really hard worker.

But, you recently been getting some help and advice from Captain Levi! The strongest solider that everyone talks about and with that, you both got close and Levi seemed to like your attitude, and would usually ask you for your opinion on things.

Everyone was quite shocked how Levi seem to show a little bit of interest in you and even spoke to you. Y/N was different, unique more like it and how they never gave up and still kept on going amazed Levi. He was a bit worried about you though cause you could be reckless, but he had your back always watching without you even noticing. Later then, he realized after sorting out this emotions and feelings he had....he actually had a crush on you instead!

It was a fact that Y/N was quite attractive and good looking, everyone had eyes on Y/N and Levi would sometimes be quite annoyed and pissed about how some guys who seemed to have bad intentions always trying to get a chance to talk to you and get you alone but Y/N would usually avoid them and leave the scene before it happens.

You were just such a likeable person though! Who wouldn't like you? and many tried to make a move on you but you made the scouts that you were hard to read. But instead for one guy.

A scout was keeping his eyes on you for a while, and with his friends telling him that 'he would never get a chance with y/n' made him take the bet and go for it.

"Hey there! I see you training hard? My name is Roy, nice to meet you" He said with a big smile and gave you a little wave while coming up to you. You were setting up your ODM gear and glance at him. "Oh, I see it's Y/N." You said normally, but you weren't going to lie, the guy did look kind of cute but you had a gut feeling something was up.

"Of course, you are the great Y/N everyone talks about." He said with a smirk, "You look so much prettier." You were taken aback by the comment and thanked him, it was not everyday you would hear this comment and someone saying that bluntly.

"Haha, you don't have to be shy! It's the truth so own it. Anyways, I'll see you later yeah? Bye!" He shouted out and ran back to his friends, and you stood there quite shy.

You did not notice that Levi was actually standing near the entrance of the headquarters and watched the whole thing. You could tell by his gaze towards Roy he was...glaring at him? "Tch." He scoffed and walked away from the training area, looking rather pissed but you managed to go over to him and caught up with Levi. There your bright energy opened up, and you gave Levi a bright big smile that you would only usually do for him. "Hi Captain Levi! How was your weekend? I haven't seen you for a while." Y/N said in a cheerful tone, they looked rather happy to see Levi and that made him relax and warmed his heart since his crush has always greeted him this way. "Hey Y/N, it was alright I guess. And Oi, didn't I tell you to just call me Levi? Drop the captain, don't wanna hear that from you." He said and crossing his arms and looking slightly away to hide his faint little blush on his cheeks.

He observed you for a while, and he realized that you were the only one who would talk to Levi like this and he was the only man you ever showed your cute and gentle side to! And the same goes to him, you were the only one who he showed his soft and nice side by his small actions and words. So, he felt really lucky and somehow was assured and felt trusted that you might not be interested in anyone else, and maybe....just maybe he had a chance!

"My bad, Levi" Y/N said after a small giggle which was one of his favorite sounds, hearing his crush laugh a little was one of the main things he wanted to achieve. "I'm going to do hand-to-hand combat training later. Could you perhaps train m-" Before Y/N was going to finish talking, Levi cut them off and said "Yea sure, don't ask me and just tell me what it is and I'll help you train."

Levi didn't notice, but he was becoming rather tender and considerate only to Y/N these days which not only shocked them but also made them happy. "Thanks Levi, you are the best! I'll see you later!" Y/N waved at Levi with a joyful expression and ran off. After that small interaction and chat, it seemed like all Levi's worries and stress was relieved and he gave a small smile. Not only that, but also another feeling he had earlier was gone, but he couldn't figure just what was that feeling from earlier?

Later on, training for hand to hand combat has started and you were there, ready and waiting for none other than Levi to show up. But, someone else showed up instead of him. "So we meet again, Y/N." You turned around and it was Roy, he looked rather excited and he was checking you up with a gaze that made you slightly uncomfortable. "Um...yea cause we still have training?" You gave him a confused look and raised your eyebrow at him 'Just what does this guy want...' you wondered.

"You aren't pair up with anyone, so let's train together!" He said cheerfully and was in his fighting stance, all ready without you even having the time to respond to his offer.

"W-Wait...I'm waiting for Levi to train me!" You finally said in a stuttering tone. "Levi? Ha....since when did you start calling him that? Anyways, I don't see him? So, train with me instead sweetheart." He gave you a flirtatious smile, and you sighed and brought out the wooden dagger which you took your stance and took charge at him. He somehow let you take the hit and you looked up at him "Wow, you are good!". He was not taking you seriously, and was playing around with you, teasing you more like it. While you were training with Roy, without any warning he made you trip and you fell on the ground which you felt your knee starting to hurt. "Oh no. Are you okay?" Roy said and bent down, to check your knee. You felt it was done on purpose just to get you off guard, and so he can get closer to you.

With your surprise, he brought his hand out and pushed your hair back and behind your ear and then touched your cheek which made your eyes wide "No one should be allowed to look that good. How do you do it?"

"Huh...what do you mean?" Y/N said, all confused and tried to get up but Roy's grip made you not get up so easily. "Say, tell me how are you still Single?"

Before you could respond, someone quickly grabbed Roy by his wrist and pulled him up quickly. "You....The fuck do you think you are doing?" It was....Levi! He gave a death glare to Roy who now seemed to have been displeased. "I'm helping them up...What do you think you are doing holding me like this?"

"Did I ask you a question? It a command, answer it. What. Were. you trying to do." Levi said now in a very serious tone that gave off a scary vibe and everyone had stopped their training and were all frightened. Levi was not dumb, he clearly knew what Roy was up to, seductively flirting with you which he ignored before he knew you would not respond to it but.... he then purposely made you trip which he noticed and was not able to hold it in any longer.

"Do you want me to fucking break your leg to answer me?" Levi was being impatient and without any hesitation and not giving Roy any time to respond, he knee kicked him right up his chin and that made him fall down on his knees and covered his nose which was now bleeding. "You little shit, and you dare even question me after disrespecting Y/N? You have a death wish for sure."

Levi was about to kick him when Y/N quickly held on his arm and pulled Levi a bit back, holding on to his arm. "Stop! That's enough Levi. Don't bother with him, I'm fine now!" Y/N said, trying to calm Levi down and reassure him.

He stayed silent, and looked back at Roy, deciding on what to do. "Hm...Alright. I'm only stopping cause of Y/N." Levi took Y/N's hand which shocked everyone in the training area, including Roy and Levi turned around while saying in a cold tone. "Roy, you have cleaning duty for all the toilets at the HQ for a month and it better be fucking clean or I will make you redo it. You are nothing but a piece of trash so be useful and clean them."

Levi still, holding your hand tightly, pulled you and you both were walking away from the training area, away from everyone else. Y/N was blushing now and was looking at Levi's back head where they clearly saw his neat underhair cut. 'Levi why did he do this....' You wondered and Levi then stopped walking when you both reached near the stable. "Are you...hurt?" He said, turning around to look at you with a slight worried expression. "N-No, and thanks for back there." Y/N said, blushing even harder and looked down. "But, why..." They finally said looking directly at his grey eyes which soften, this was a question that kept killing Y/N's curiosity.

He stayed quiet, and looked away from your gaze. He seemed to refuse to respond. 'Wait....don't tell me!' Y/N then jolted their head up which caught Levi by surprise (worried if they noticed-) and they immediately said in a hyper tone.

Y/N: "Oh Levi....were you-"

Levi: "No."

Y/N: "You sure? Cause I swear you-"

"Shut it. I was just being annoyed by him, alright?" He would say and ruffle your hair gently. He wanted to hold you, hug you. You were just too adorable to him! But he knew he couldn't do any of that.

"Weird...I don't recall saying anything about that. But you just proved to me you were actually jealous!" Y/N said, and let out a happy and cheerful laugh. He would not admit it, but he felt embarrassed right now.

"Tch, brat are you gonna actually keep saying it now?" He said with a slight blush and turned around, "Well...Not till you be honest with yourself." Y/N told Levi in a shy tone, and still with a smile that was too big it hurted their cheeks, they were just too happy to see Levi like this!

You weren't going to lie, but seeing Levi jealous really made you feel something and so did he!

He took your hand gently and caressed your hand with his thumb. "If you want to know....come to my office?" Levi, was now a blushing mess, he was being nervous but he knew that at some point he had to let his feeling out because it was not an easy one to handle despite him being emotional he was able to control that but this was a special case and today proved that to him. He had to let you know.

You both went to Levi's office, and he pulled you closer and looked at your eyes which was filled with lust and love just for you "Please....Could I?" Levi said softly which had a little bit of nervous and tense tone. You then realized and confirmed, you both did actually shared the same feelings and behind closed doors while the evening was approaching you both slowly started to kiss each other even though you both were new to this sort of thing you took it slowly, and kept trying it again and again, till you both got the hang of it. Levi did that just to show that he wanted to make you his starting tonight and not having anyone else flirt with you anymore and that that he was capable of being romantic to u too! You never saw him this clingy, it was super cute.

With your reassurance and talk with Levi, your words would comfort him and calm him down and he then started to trust you even more which he was since the beginning but now that he got your approval he never felt such a lucky man.

Now, no scout with bad intentions ever dared to come up to you and Levi does not take it lightly next time if he even sees someone checking you up, or making you uncomfortable. With this, he promised to protect you from any harm and swore to that, he wanted to be your protector.

So poor them who ever tried to flirt with you and poor Roy stuck with a broken nose and having cleaning toilets duty!

But thanks to Roy, Levi finally was able to explain and show/say his true feelings to Y/N and now he can keep Y/N close to him only and cherish and protect them without any hesitation. He truly did value and care for Y/N.

This was actually so fun to write up ahhh and I find Levi acting sort of like this when he explodes at the person trying to flirt with his crush and the one responsible making him jealous! (I don’t think he would explode or lash out on his crush/lover, he is too mature for a situation where someone flirts with them, he would lash out on whoever is hitting on them instead of his lover ofc) I hope you enjoyed this anon and sorry this was late but hope you enjoyed it and if you did or anyone else please leave a like or a reblog!🥺 ♡♡♡

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elainsshadows · 3 years

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I want to talk about Elain today and her role in future books. I will also be talking about other ships at the end of this including: Lucien x Vassa, Lucien x Elain, and Azriel x Gwyn. These are merely my opinions and thoughts, this is not me trying to bash anyone else's opinions. I am open to having discussions as long as you are kind and respectful.

This is going to be long as a warning. Let's begin.

Quiet Strength

My friend recently start reading ACOTAR and she came to me one day and said that she had found a quote that she really liked. That quote was:

"She had looked at that cottage with hope; I had looked at it with nothing but hatred. And I knew which one of us had been stronger" ~ ACOTAR, pg. 259

I know that a lot of antis like to bring up the fact that Elain didn't do anything but plant flowers and such while Feyre was out risking her life to put food on the table. Why hadn't Elain planted food instead? As someone who tried to garden vegetables with her dad one year I can tell you it's not as easy as flowers.

Maybe Elain was trying to bring some color into their drab little existence like Feyre had done with the paints. Maybe she wanted one thing to make her happy.

When Feyre comes to see them in ACOMAF, to ask for their help, it was Elain who said that they should help.

"If... if we do not help Feyre, there won't be a wedding." ~ ACOMAF pg. 247

"Feyre gave and gave - for years. Let us help her. Help... others." ~ ACOMAF pg. 248

Elain was risking a lot by saying they should now help their Fae sister. She was going to be married to someone who's family hated the Fae. If they found out what Elain and Nesta were doing it would probably be the end of her engagement to Graysen. They would become Fae sympathizers and like the Children of the Blessed we see mentioned throughout the books.

Would a coward risk all of this? Not to me they wouldn't.

When Rhys, Az, and Cassian arrive once Elain had cleared out the servants. Elain, while scared, still tries to be a good host to the four of them. I want to come back to this scene when I discuss Elriel because this was the moment that I first started thinking that they would make a good pair.

But while Nesta and Feyre are more bold with their actions like wielding swords, bow and arrows, knives, etc., Elain doesn't necessarily back down from a challenge. When given Truth-Teller she simply states that she doesn't know how to use it. She does not shove it back at Azriel and refuse it, she simply informs him she doesn't know how to use it.

Also when they had been captured by Hybern and all that mess was going down. Tamlin had been gunning for Feyre and it was Elain who did this:

"But Elain's cry - a warning. A warning to- To my right, now exposed, Tamlin ran for me. To grab me at last." ACOMAF pg. 602

Elain, despite being scared in this highly stressful situation, saw her sister in danger and tried her hardest to warn her. If it had not been for Elain, Tamlin might have been able to grab Feyre at that moment in all the confusion and chaos. Despite being in her nightgown and terrified she still tried to protect her younger sister.

Once again when people are in danger once the Wall had been taken down it was Elain who spoke up. She knew that Graysen's family's estate could help protect those closest to the Wall and from any Fae that may come to do them harm.

"Glamour me," Elain said - to Rhys. "Make me look human. Just long enough to convince him to open his gates to those seeking sanctuary." ~ ACOWAR pg. 471

"It's already ended badly. Now it's just a matter of deciding how we meet the consequences." ~ ACOWAR pg. 471

She's Fae now. If Graysen or any of his family or those working for them knew this (which we see that they did) then they might kill her on sight. She risked her life to make sure defenseless humans remained as safe as they could with the oncoming war.

When Azriel and Feyre go to Hybern's camp to save Elain they also save another human. They are being pursued and clearly, the human girl is terrified of them, but it is Elain that says this:

"Grab onto him!" Elain ordered to the wide-eyed human girl as Azriel thundered toward her. *skipped ahead* "Elain screamed at her, "If you want to live, do it now!" ~ ACOWAR pg. 577

She also does this when the King of Hybern's beasts are upon them:

"Elain moved. As Azriel battled to keep them airborne, keep his grip on them, my sister sent a fierce kick into the beast's face. Its eye. *Skipped ahead* "Elain slammed her bare, muddy foot into its face again. The blow struck home." ACOWAR pg. 577

Knowing that their lives are in danger and that if this beast does anything to Azriel's wings they are all going to die. She does not hesitate and does not back down as she goes after the beast with her barefoot.

She slays the King of Hybern as well:

"Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the King's neck as she snarled in his ear, "Don't you touch my sister." ~ ACOWAR pg. 652

She has a protective streak in her and she will go down swinging if she has to.

And this I just found interesting. Everyone seems to shy away from Amren, but in ACOFAS this happens when they're all eating together:

"Elain, to my surprise, held Amren's gaze." ~ ACOFAS pg. 108

I just like that she held Amren's gaze.

Being Feminine Isn't Boring

I see a lot of people saying that Elain being feminine is boring, that she isn't an exciting heroine. Yes, Elain isn't one of SJM's typical heroines, but I think that makes her all the more interesting. We've never seen someone who isn't like Aelin, Bryce, Feyre, and Nesta from SJM.

"Elain stood between Nuala and Cerridwen at the long worktable. All three of them covered in flour." ~ ACOWAR pg. 386

"Elain was in the kitchen, helping Nuala and Cerridwen prepare the evening meal." ~ ACOFAS pg. 101

"She'd been toiling in the estate gardens since dawn." ~ ACOSF pg. 28

"Elain had already departed with Feyre, claiming she had to be up with the dawn to tend to an elderly faerie's garden." ~ ACOSF pg. 311

Do I think Elain's entire book will be based on her baking and taking care of gardens? No, I don't. I think she is capable of more than that and that is going to lead into my next point.

Elain Archeron, 007

This is not a new theory and it isn't even one that I came up with. Many lovely Elriels have pointed out comparisons to Azriel and Elain and how he may even teach her how to be a spy. I think it is a perfectly lovely idea. Let me show you some quotes from the book that make me think that this could be a possibility.

"Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, "Using me." ~ ACOSF pg. 230

They were talking about looking for the Dread Trove here and scrying. They were debating who should do it when Elain stepped up. She has done this before and with her seer abilities she is a perfect choice for the job. Obviously several characters aren't thrilled with the idea (Nesta and Azriel being two of the ones that don't like the idea).

"Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, "There is an innate darkness to the Drea Trove that Elain should not be exposed to." ~ ACOSF pg. 311

"Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why." ~ ACOSF pg. 470

"You came," Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. *skipped ahead* "Wondering if she'd been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends." ~ ACOSF pg. 595

We see that even Nesta is questioning whether or not Elain has been having lessons. She very well could have or this could be a hidden talent that Nesta has never gotten to see or never cared to see because she viewed Elain as someone who is innocent and needing protection.

Nesta mothers Elain throughout the series, we constantly see her coming to Elain's defense, stepping in front of her, talking for her. And while Elain used to let that slide we can see now that she is coming into her own and not letting Nesta walk all over her.

"Elain said, "You can't have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater." ~ ACOSF pg. 232

I think Elain has been denied many things in her life because she has been seen as the most beautiful. Her own mother seeing her as nothing more than a pretty face that would be easy to marry off once she was of age. What will she do now that she has more freedom than she did before? Now that she will not become some lord's wife?

I do not see Elain as a warrior who is ready for battle, but I see her being ready for a different kind of battle.

"It took hours for Elain to work her charm on the staff to swiftly pack their bags and leave, each with a purse of money to hasten the process." ~ ACOMAF pg. 250

You know who else is charming? James Bond.

Being another pretty face has something going for Elain. No one would look at her and think "Yeah she's totally a spy." She can charm people, make them feel more at ease, and get them to open up. Maybe even enough that they think nothing of divulging things in front of her that otherwise shouldn't be overheard.

Maybe she can learn to glamour herself so that she is not recognizable to others. Who knows but I'm sure we'll find out when her book happens.

Welcome To Spring

One of my least favorite theories I've seen is that Elain will leave the Night Court and her family to go to Spring. Even going as far as saying that she will wind up with Tamlin. I don't think Feyre would let her sister wind up with her abuser plain and simple. Nor do I think Elain would fall for her sister's abuser just because he lives in a land of eternal spring and has flowers.

In ACOSF Nesta has this thought:

"Elain would love this place. So many flowers, all in bloom, so much green, *skipped ahead* But Elain... The Spring Court had been made for someone like her." ~ ACOSF pg. 454

While I do believe that Elain would love the Spring Court I do not think she would ever leave her family or friends behind.

"Two half-wraiths she called friends." ~ ACOSF pg. 595

"Cassian kissing Elain's cheek in greeting. *skipped ahead* Amren came next, giving my sister a nod. *skipped ahead* The Mor, with a smacking kiss for either cheek." ~ ACOFAS pg. 105

We also know that the sisters tend to consider one of the brothers friends. Feyre with Cassian, Nesta with Azriel, and I believe Rhys and Elain will also be friends. He seems to like Elain (certainly more than he likes Nesta).

Plus now there is Nyx in the mixture and why would she leave and miss out on her nephew growing up? What about if Nesta becomes pregnant and has a child? So no I do not believe that Elain will leave the Night Court.

Shipping Time

Here is where opinions and feelings may vary and people might not like what I have to say. Just know that these are merely my feelings on a ship. Ship what you want to ship, I am not here to gatekeep. These are merely my feelings on the matter. I'm going to start with the two ships I like: Elain x Azriel and Lucien x Vassa.

Elain Archeron x Azriel

I mentioned this earlier but I've been shipping them since ACOMAF. I saw the potential for them from the moment they began to interact.

"Elain rasped, "Nice to meet you," before hustling after her, the silk skirts of her cobalt dress whispering over the parquet floor." ~ ACOMAF pg. 253

I like the symbolism in this line. Cobalt = Azriel's siphons. Whispering = Azriel's shadows. While it might not be that deep as a writer I like the small things like this in my works. Things that later when you come back to them after something important happens that is a callback to something like this you can go "ooooh that makes sense now, yeah." We also do see other mentions of Elain wearing blue, but this post is long enough and it's only a few more times so I don't think it's worth noting. This part just sticks out to me because it's the first time they're meeting and like I said I love symbolism.

"Elain said to Azriel, perhaps the only two civilized ones here, "Can you truly fly?" ~ ACOMAF pg. 256

Elain who has been taught to fear the Fae is talking to him, also probably leaning around Cassian - who she is seated next to and also has wings - and asking if he can fly.

Azriel responds on the same page saying, "We're born hearing the song of the wind." And her response of, "That's very beautiful." This is the same male who famously said he wouldn't need poetry to woo a woman. Maybe he's not trying to woo her here, but he's trying to impress her.

"Elain, noticing Azriel's ease as proof that things weren't indeed about to go badly offered one (a smile) of her own as well." ~ ACOMAF pg. 258

She seems mighty comfortable with a Fae she just met. Which leads my into my two mate theory that I've had for some time now.

We know the tweet where SJM says that someone can have two mates. This was during a time when one of the TOG novels was about to come out and was probably referencing something in there, but I think it would be interesting to see play out in this situation as well.

We've seen several times people questioning Elain and Lucien's mating bond. Feyre and Azriel both do it. Feyre during ACOWAR and Azriel in his bonus chapter from ACOSF.

We also know that not all mates are happy pairings ie. Rhysand's parents and Tamlin's parents. We also know that sometimes it's based on who would have the strongest offspring. We can see this reflected in both Rhysand and Feyre's mating (he's considered the most powerful High Lord and she has abilities from all seven HLs).

But what if Elain and Lucien aren't true mates? True mates to me is a happily mated pair like Feyre and Rhys as well as Nesta and Cassian. Azriel questions why his brothers were mated to two sisters while the third was mated to another. (Pardon me for not using quotes here, I do not have the bonus chapter so I am going from memory.)

Why indeed? And I think it was because he was on the floor dying at the time. We know that the Cauldron loves Elain, so if her true mate was on the floor dying and there was no guarantee for survival it would make sense for the Cauldron to gift Elain another mating bond.

I will talk more about this in the section where I discuss them as a ship, but I wanted to briefly mention it here.

We also know the scene where Azriel hands over Truth-Teller to her, something that shocks all of them. I think of Truth-Teller like Azriel's security blanket. Something that brings him comfort and he never ever wants to part with it. But he gives it to Elain.

After she was taken by the Cauldron and held captive at Hybern's camp. After she says this:

"She shook her head, devouring the sight of him as if not quite believing it. "You came for me." The shadowsinger only inclined his head." ~ ACOWAR pg. 573

Why did she look only to Azriel? Why did she seem so surprised that he would come for her? Kind of like how a princess might not believe that her prince has come for her. (Love me some Disney princess movies)

To me these two just fit together. And to me they are more like Hades and Persephone than Feyre and Rhysand are. And hear me out: Elain as Persephone, goddess of spring. Azriel as Hades, god of death. (Feyre once calls him Death when thinking of a painting of him and Elain. Death and the lovely fawn she called it). Some might see Azriel and Elain falling in love as stealing her away from her mother (or mate in this case).

Also if you want another mythology reference. Paris (Azriel), Helen (Elain), Menelaus (Lucien). Helen was considered the most beautiful and was stolen away from her husband Menelaus (though I think she went with Paris willingly so there's that.)

I see so many parallels and signs that point toward an Elriel endgame. We know Elain's book is in the works and I'm pretty sure it's next since Sarah has talked about doing research for her book. We also know that Sarah is excited to work with Azriel as well.

Moving on.

Lucien Vanserra x Vassa

I've been shipping them since ACOWAR. So not as long as Elriel, but since a bit. I think this was the line that did it for me:

"Indeed, Vassa still remained inside, chatting with Lucien animatedly. *skipped ahead* Lucien, surprisingly, was chuckling, his shoulders loose and his head angled while he listened." ~ ACOWAR pg. 690

Unlike with Elain, he seems comfortable around Vassa.

"Even with Elain here, he's become close with Jurian and Vassa. He's voluntarily living with them these days, and not just as an emissary. As their friend." ~ ACOSF pg. 57

I'm a sucker for the friends to lovers trope (it only falls after the enemies to lovers trope). And while we do not have a lot on them I can see the two of them being happy. I can see Lucien trying to find a way to make her immortal if that's what she wants. And I just want the two of them finding their HEA together in the final book.

My theory is that Vassa will be the MC of the last book and will deliver the killing blow to Koschei (as she should). I would love to see their journey together and their time together in the mortal lands especially since the mating bond would be severed at this point if Elriel is the book before this one. I want Lucien to be happy and I think that he could be happy with Vassa.

Elain Archeron x Lucien Vanserra

We know that Elain and Lucien are mates. He announced this on page 608 a little bit after Elain had come out of the Cauldron. But these two do not seem to fit together in my opinion. Now please note I have nothing against Elucien, I even like some of the fanart and the theories I have read are wonderful. I'm just personally not a fan of these two because of how they were thrust together.

When comparing Jesiminda and Elain, Lucien says this:

"Elain had been... thrown at him." ACOWAR pg. 249

I know Lucien wants to be happy and I know mates are special, but I don't necessarily think that Elain will be his happiness. I think that the way they met ruined that for them.

"But Elain blinked slowly, "You were in Hybern." *Skipped ahead* "You betrayed us." ACOWAR pg. 250 - 251

Lucien, however willing or unwillingly, did play some part in Elain being turned Fae. He was one of the reasons she could no longer go home or marry Graysen. I don't know if that's something that could be overcome especially since Elain is still dealing with the events of that day.

We also know that Elain tends to avoid him, shrinking in on herself when he's around. Another reason why I can't ship this is because I've been in a similar situation where people were pressuring me to be with someone I had no interest in. I know what it's like to hear "you two are perfect for each other", "you should give him a chance", "just try".

Their relationship is not evolving naturally like Feyre and Rhys's did or Cassian and Nesta's. I don't think Lucien would ever push the mating bond onto Elain, but I do think since it's something special to Fae he may cling to it more than she will.

Another thing about their bond that doesn't sit with me is how it is described.

"It felt... strange," Elain breathed. "Like you pulled on a thread tied to a rib." ACOWAR pg. 301

"There's a bond - it's a real thread," he said, more to himself than us." ACOWAR pg. 301

Other bonds have been described as "so much golden thread" or an "unbreakable chain". But Elain and Lucien's is described as a singular thread that feels as though it were attached to a rib. To me mating bonds are like soulmates, why would that bond be attached to a rib and not the heart or her being?

I believe that once again either the Cauldron created this bond between them or maybe they are not what's considered a "perfect match" like Elain's sisters with their mates are.

I will say this: If Elain and Lucien do wind up together I won't be mad. Sure they are not my preferred ship, but they both deserve happiness and can find it together then good for them. We will just have to wait and see where SJM takes them.

Azriel x Gwyn Berdara

I've lowkey been dreading talking about them because of how toxic this fanwar between Elriels and Gwynriels gets. Once again this is just my opinion and my theories. No hate or shade to any of the shippers. I will not be bashing theories. If you don't want to read my thoughts then please just leave now and pretend you never saw this.

I do not like Azriel and Gwyn as a ship for one very big reason: power imbalance. Azriel saved Gwyn from a highly traumatic experience. Now before I go any further let me say that I brought this up to my mom who also reads the series but isn't a shipper, she just reads them to enjoy them. I asked her what she thought of Az x Gwyn as a pairing and if she would like to see that and she said no that she also felt there would be a power imbalance.

Gwyn is a strong character, but I do not think I could get behind her and Az as a couple because of how they met.

I also do not believe that Gwyn will be the MC of any of the last books there are. We still have Elain's book, possibly a Mor book, or even Vassa. There are too many people from the original trilogy that we need to see books for. While I will not rule out a book in the future I don't see her getting one now.

I know the necklace is a hot button issue, but I also don't believe that Clotho gave it to her. We never hear it mentioned in the main portion of the book and I think Clotho knew how troubled Azriel was and thought that she should hold onto it just in case.

"You're the new ribbon, Az," ~ ACOSF pg. 623

Gwyn is a competitive person, to me this line that Nesta says is here merely telling Az that Gwyn's next challenge would be to prove him wrong about the training course. Nesta knows of Azriel's feelings for her sister by this point, so I don't see this line as her teasing Az about Gwyn possibly having a crush on him.

But again these are just how I interpret things between them.

These are all my thoughts at the moment that I'm going to share. If you would like to have a discussion my ask box is open. Hate will not be tolerated though.

#Elain Archeron #Elriel #Azriel #pro Elain Archeron #pro Azriel #pro Elriel #ACOTAR 5 #ACOTAR 5 predictions #ACOTAR theories

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hongism · 4 years

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reciprocated - j.wy (ft. c.san) 18+

↦ pairing: san x fem!reader x wooyoung ↦ genre: pwp, smut, 18+, non idol au, friends with benefits au ↦ wc: 4.0k ↦ pt 2 to belated | ↦ warnings: explicit smut, unprotected sex, oral sex: f and m, voyeurism, exhibitionism, cum eating, masturbation, creampie

When you and San sent Wooyoung the less than appropriate for viewing video, you had half-expected an immediate response of an extended keyboard smash or just a series of emojis conveying his both panic and excitement to be receiving such a thing. What you got in reality was radio silence on his part, and that seems to have caught San off-guard as well because he can’t seem to figure out why Wooyoung wouldn’t respond. Granted, it’s only been around a week since you sent the damn thing, but Wooyoung is notorious for responding within a fraction of a second, so the mystery becomes why hasn’t Wooyoung responded or reacted. He texts you and San regularly, either through the group chat you have with the two men or just one on one, but he does not under any circumstances mention the email attachment you sent from San’s computer. Even when San directly asked him over text if he received his birthday gift, Wooyoung just neglected to respond entirely.

San could not be more unbothered by the fact that Wooyoung won’t respond. You on the other hand can’t help but feel like he has seen the video and was so disgusted and grossed out by it that he’s just counting down the days to end your friendship. It’s a constant and bubbling anxiety in your gut, and it’s one that heightens when Friday evening rolls around and Wooyoung comes by your apartment with San to watch a movie.

The latter arrives before Wooyoung does, pushing into the apartment like he owns in and immediately making himself comfortable beside you on the couch. Your nervous exterior must be evident to him because his cheerful attitude morphs into one of concern the second he sits down.

“What’s that expression for?”

“Do you think he’s… I don’t know, weirded out?”

“By the video?” You nod hastily, and San twists to look at the ceiling. “No way. He’s probably too shy to say anything. Full guarantee he’s been using it as jerk off material every day this week.”

“Are you sure? Wouldn’t he have said something by now? I think it’s—”

“I think you’re overthinking,” San states. An idle hand comes to rest on your thigh, skin bared by the shorts you’re wearing, and he mindlessly traces faint patterns there. “I have an idea. One that I’ll only do if you’re okay with it.”

“What are you planning?” You narrow your gaze on San. The words are a bit suspicious, but San has never given you a reason not to trust him before, and you’re certain he wouldn’t do anything without your explicit permission and comfort.

“He’s too shy to talk about it, no?”

“I don’t know, San. That’s part of my concern,” you huff out in response.

“And I know him better than you do. Trust me when I say that he is merely too shy to say anything about the video.”

“So, the plan is…?”

“Threesome?”

“San!” The man all but cackles at your startled reaction and retracts his hand from your leg to clutch at his chest.

“I’m being completely serious.”

“You can’t be.” San deadpans, eyes searching yours with razor-sharp focus. “San.”

“Do you want to see how he really feels about it?”

“Of course I do but… I’m – I, well, I’m just shy about it!”

“And do you trust me to guide you through it and stop when you want to stop?” San leans towards you, and you find yourself moving with him, breaths intermingling as you get closer to each other.

“Yes, I always do, San.” He laughs under his breath once before letting his forehead fall against yours.

“And how do you feel about sex with Wooyoung?”

“I’m… I would like that a lot, I think. You aren’t gonna get jealous if Wooyoung fucks me, are you?”

“I can’t promise not to, but at the end of the day, I know—”

The thought is cut short thanks to the door popping open once more, and this time when you look up at it, it’s Wooyoung who steps through with his head tucked to his chest. You sink your teeth into your lower lip without thinking, letting San nudge you further down to the middle of the couch so he can better settle against your body. Wooyoung doesn’t even look up as he comes closer, phone in hand and screen flashing a bright light that keeps him preoccupied. That does absolutely nothing to ease your worries though, and his obvious avoidance of you and San’s forms causes an extra surge of panic to rush through you. San again detects your nerves and darts a hand out to clasp around your thigh just at the top of your knee, fingers massaging the bare skin there gently while Wooyoung positions himself on the other end of the couch. He doesn’t put a ton of distance between the two of you, which is a small reassurance, but he still won’t look up at you.

“Hey, Woo, did you–oof!” You send an elbow straight into San’s ribcage before he can finish the question. San squeezes hard at your leg and sends you a sharp and pointed glare. You return it with one of equal heat to no avail because San continues speaking, hand keeping you firmly in place. “Did you get my gift? For your birthday?”

Choi San is far too bold for your liking, you’ve decided that much.

“B-Birthday?” Wooyoung stutters. He glances up from his phone with cheeks flushed a pretty pink, and his gaze flicks between you and San for a few seconds. The silence drags. You can hardly breathe thanks to the lump in your throat. Wooyoung stares. San waits. And you are ready to burst. Then —

“For fuck’s sake, Wooyoung, do we need to reenact it on the couch for you?”

And in that moment, you truly do think you have died because there is no way in a million years that San really just said those words out loud. You jerk to bury your face against his shoulder – not helping your case since Wooyoung has most definitely seen the video and is most definitely thinking about the things you and San were doing in said video and any act of intimacy or closeness between the two of you is a dumpster fire just waiting to happen.

“No! No, no, no, no, no,” Wooyoung rambles so quickly that the words sound foreign against your ears. “You don’t – I wouldn’t – that’s too much to ask, I would never—”

“Well, you were obviously thinking about it!” San argues, not missing a beat in his remarks, and you really want nothing more than to completely disappear from existence entirely. “That boner isn’t exactly discreet!”

Whatever sound leaves your lips is nothing short of inhumane, most likely something close to a pig squealing, and San secures an arm around your waist when you throw yourself further against him. He releases a loud laugh that rings in your ear, squeezing you as tight as he can without hurting you.

“I’m sure we can work something out. You heard the way Y/N was screaming your name, didn’t you?” You’re thankful that Wooyoung can’t see your face because you are positive that your wide eyes make you look like a deer caught in headlights and he might take that as a sign of hesitance, when in reality you are already imagining Wooyoung fucking you raw while you’re bent over San’s lap. Instead, San stands up from the couch, keeping his hands on yours while he moves, and you blink up at him with the same wide eyes.

“I – I didn’t w-want to assume that she – I thought it was just… just because you were – yeah,” Wooyoung stammers. His voice grows more quiet with each passing word, and you can envision the way his chin drops to his chest as it normally does when he’s flustered.

“Didn’t want to assume that she wanted you just as badly as you want her?” San inquires, head tilting to the side as he asks the question. “Was the sight of her begging for your cock while my cum was dripping off her face not enough for you?” You need to make a mental note to beat the shit out of him after this, but you also don’t want to admit that the burning humiliation is actually causing your gut to twist with arousal. Your thighs press tightly together against the couch – a movement that doesn’t escape San’s notice. “She’s practically drooling from the thought already. Shouldn’t you give her something to do with that mouth?”

The words have their intended effect on you; they’re words San has spoken to you in less than appropriate situations time and time again, but now they seem even more filthy because Wooyoung is right there. Your lower lip trembles as a whimper slips out, and you hear Wooyoung inhale a sharp and painful breath of air.

“I won’t interrupt, don’t worry,” San murmurs, letting a finger trace over your chin. “I’ll just keep her fully occupied, yeah? How does that sound, sweetheart?”

“G-Good,” you hastily answer through a gasp.

“Mhm, then you can be good and sit still for him while I eat you out?”

“S-San.” The single word is spoken breathlessly, and you’re shocked that it even comes out with sound, to be honest. San just smirks in response, watching and waiting for you to indicate that you don’t want to do this. So when you provide a small nod of confirmation, he nudges you off the couch and onto the floor. Your knees hit the carpet painfully, but you take it in stride as best you can and move to a more comfortable position. Wooyoung remains in a state of shock, not budging one bit from his spot on the farthest cushion, and San has to lean over your kneeling form to catch hold of Wooyoung’s collar and yank him forward.

“Are you gonna make her do all the work?” He hums, pressing into Wooyoung’s personal space so much so that Wooyoung has to lean away from him.

“N-No, I’m – I’m just still a bit shocked.” He isn’t too shocked to finally sit on the center cushion and press his legs around your body, feet planted firmly on either side of your thighs. Now you can clearly see the growing erection tucked behind his jeans along with the hazy flush on his cheeks and neck that looks oh so pretty from this angle.

San moves away from the couch no doubt to make room for himself between your folds. It leaves you with the task of helping Wooyoung out of his pants, but without San’s endless confidence, you both fumble awkwardly around each other for too long before bonking heads when Wooyoung tries to tug his pants down for you. Ironically enough, the contact is all you needed to dispel the awkward energy between you two, and you share in a small laugh with hands still fumbling over each other.

“Do you… is he right?” Wooyoung asks once your hands hook around his underwear. You hesitate there, blinking up at the man in wonder for a few moments.

“Yeah, he – um, he didn’t really need to convince me to do the video,” you mumble back before embarrassment gets the better of you. “I was just worried that you wouldn’t see me like that.”

“Oh no, I definitely do! Not to, uh, sound too enthusiastic but yeah. I do.” You can only manage a tight-lipped grin in Wooyoung’s direction before taking hold of his underwear and yanking it down past his knees. A startled groan leaves him as cold air touches his stiff member, cock springing out to slap against the fabric of his shirt. The shirt doesn’t remain on for long as it is though, seeing as Wooyoung leans back and strips himself of the material without second thought. San makes a timely appearance behind you in that moment, hands running up your sides to tug your shirt off as he settles on the floor. You let him move your body into whatever position he wants while you keep your gaze firmly set on Wooyoung.

Wooyoung doesn’t maintain eye contact, however; he keeps his gaze firmly set on your body, trailing over the mounds of your breasts and the freshly exposed skin that’s left there now. His tongue pokes out to dart over his lips, and the hunger of lust gives him a newfound sense of confidence that has him leaning towards you. You sit up to meet him halfway — lips smash together in a clash of saliva and tongue, teeth clattering as they bump together. San works on pulling your pants away as well, leaving you full bare before both men, but he doesn’t give you time to be embarrassed or shy about the lack of clothes. He weasels his way between your legs and comes face to face with your now exposed cunt. A few strands of arousal are already present there just from the sight of Wooyoung’s hardened cock, which San laps up like a starved man.

The tiniest kitten lick has you whimpering, San’s hands latching around your hips and pulling you down to his chin. You brace yourself on Wooyoung’s muscled thighs. The skin is soft under your fingers, but the harsh touch has his muscles trembling and tensing under you. You dip closer to his crotch, eyes not leaving his for a second. He can only groan under his breath as you drag the flat of your tongue up his length. His cock is heavy against your tongue, a bit of saltiness lingering there thanks to the precum leaking from his tip, but you take it in stride and gulp the taste down as best you can. With a startled gasp, Wooyoung twitches in your mouth, and his hips buck up off the couch to thrust further into your wet heat.

“S-Shit,” Wooyoung mutters. He tries to still his hips to no avail because the more you move your tongue along his dick, the more he struggles to keep from jerking and writhing under your touch.

“She’s good, isn’t she?” San hums from between your legs. “Such a good little cock slut.” The words carry over your clit, sending rapid vibrations through you, and now it’s your turn to thrash from pleasure. You moan around Wooyoung’s length and squeeze his base a little tighter. Even though the ministrations from San are nothing short of amazing, you refuse to be outdone, especially when this is about Wooyoung and not you. Thus you choke back your moans and drop your mouth lower on Wooyoung’s dick, hollowing your cheeks as you bob along him.

He’s not exactly the largest – in girth or in length – but he’s most definitely a bit longer than San, as well as a tad slimmer. His cock has a slight curve to it, one that causes him to hit the back of your throat sooner than you expect, and it’s a struggle not to gag around him. Your throat does constrict a bit, but that only draws a moan from Wooyoung’s lips. He reaches up to cover the sound, clasping his fingers hard around his mouth, and you resist the urge to giggle at his flushed cheeks and embarrassment. Instead, you pull the flat of your tongue over him and explore the underside of his cock like that. You spend an ample amount of time just tracing each ridge and vein on him before pulling up to suck gently at his head. Wooyoung is especially sensitive there; he jerks and writhes the instant you start paying attention to the skin there, thighs quaking from the stimulation.

“A-Ah, wait, w-wait, I — fuck!” Wooyoung doesn’t get to finish his thought, and he reaches down to close his hand over yours, squeezing hard at the base of his cock until his member is flushed a deep red. The action catches you off-guard at first, but he doesn’t let you stay confused for long before he explains his reasoning. “D-Don’t wanna cum yet.”

“You won’t last long in me like this,” you counter through a smirk. Wooyoung’s cheeks bear a thin sheen of sweat now, which only enhances the blush across them.

“I c-can’t get it back up that quickly. If I’m gonna cum, then I want it to be in you.”

“Gosh, you’re such a smooth-talker,” you tease as you push your legs into a standing position. San doesn’t question it, merely slipping out from under you to move to another part of the room. You don’t bother to look back at him; Wooyoung holds all of your attention in the palm of his hand now. Confident hands fall onto Wooyoung’s shoulders, and you lower yourself onto his lap. A coy smirk plays at your lips, one that Wooyoung watches with rapt focus as you press his leaking erection flat against his stomach between your sweaty and naked bodies. “Makes me want you to fuck me, Wooyoungie.” You can’t keep from pushing your lips into a slight pout, hand snaking down to take hold of Wooyoung’s member again, and you jerk him with languid and deliberate strokes.

“Fu-uck, is she – is she always like this?”

“More often than not,” San chuckles from his new position off to the side, legs spread wide as he runs a hand over his own erection. “Just wait until you actually get your cock in her. Didn’t she sound so desperate and needy in the video?”

Wooyoung’s hands find your hips and grip the skin there so tightly that you can feel it bruising under his touch, but the slight sparks of pain it leaves you with are nothing short of delightful. It’s enough to cause you to let out a small whimper and clench your hand down hard on Wooyoung’s cock. That is all the incentive he needs to pull you up over his member. You guide him to your entrance without hesitation, moving as he does to meet his lips in a messy kiss. He pushes into you a bit then and exhales a small groan into your mouth that you eat up without hesitation.

“More,” you mumble against him and shove his hands out of the way. You push your hips body down as far as you can, taking his cock all the way into your tight heat. Wooyoung breaks the kiss to let out a choked gasp. He throws his head back, exposing the pretty tanned column of his neck, and you dive in without thought. Your teeth drag over the skin there with the intention to nip and bite at it, but Wooyoung runs a hair through your hair, gripping the base of your neck tight to tug you back and look you in the eye.

“Tell me how you want me to fuck you,” he all but growls, eliciting a sharp wave of arousal in your gut.

“Hard and fast like you fucking mean it,” you hiss. You grip his chin hard in your hand and pinch his cheeks together to plant a sloppy kiss on his lips.

Wooyoung takes your words in stride, securing your legs around him quickly before flipping you onto your back. A huff of air passes through your lips from the impact of hitting the couch cushions so hard, but Wooyoung doesn’t even give you a chance to catch your breath before he is pistoning his cock in and out of your cunt without any semblance of restraint or rhythm.

“Holy s-shit,” you exhale, biting back a moan just before it falls out. All you can do is secure your hands on the cushions beneath you as Wooyoung fucks you in a fit of passion and intensity. San must be enjoying the sight of you two based on the groans that slip out of his mouth, loud noises that accentuate your own and the lewd sounds coming from between your bodies. “Fuck me so good, Wooyoung, god, you feel so good in me. Want you to cum in me too, baby. Fill me up nicely, y-yeah?” It’s a miracle that you get any words out, let alone that many without endless stutters and gasps, but the effort it takes is more than worth it when you see the look in Wooyoung’s eyes. He doesn’t respond verbally; although he doesn’t particularly need to because his dick does all the talking for him in the way he fucks you deeper than before, searching for that treasured sweet spot of yours. It only takes a few thrusts for him to find it, and when he brushes over the sensitive area, you can’t contain your noises any longer.

You fling out a desperate hand in San’s direction, searching for some sort of contact from the man, but Wooyoung snatches up the limb instead. He tangles his fingers with yours as he fucks you, and it provides a delightful amount of intimacy that you were craving even when he pins that same hand behind your head to thrust into your tight walls at a different angle.

“You gonna cum, Y/N?” Wooyoung growls against the shell of your ear. He catches your lobe between his teeth, nipping at the skin in a way that has your back arching off the couch and into his body. It nearly tips you over the edge, but you hold on a little bit longer with sheer willpower to cum alongside him. “You’re so tight I can barely move.”

“Wooyoung,” you whine, writhing a bit under him as his thrusts slow down a bit. He shuts you up then and there with his lips and kisses you until you’re positively breathless.

“Cum for me, angel.” His gaze flits up to where San is sitting with cock in hand, eyes glinting dangerously for a moment. His lips touch the shell of your ear and fill it with soft pants that have you shivering. “And call out Sannie’s name for him since he’s being so good over there all on his own.”

It only takes one glance over to where San is perched for you to cum, the mere sight of him jerking his length with sweat on his brow and eyes firmly fixated on your body, and a hasty cry of his name tumbles from your lips. It must be enough to send him over the edge too because you hear him call out your name a moment later, then Wooyoung joins the two of you in sweet ecstasy, hips stuttering in their rhythm as warm cum fills your cunt. You’re so spent you can barely move or think straight in the blessed aftermath of your orgasm, but Wooyoung gets up rather quickly. He climbs off your body and steps over to where San is seated still. In the blink of an eye, he drops to his knees in front of the man – his best friend at that – and his mouth is on San’s softening cock, lapping up the evidence of his orgasm and the cum that splattered over his stomach. A giggle leaves Wooyoung’s lips as he pulls up again and swipes a finger over his mouth to collect any excess cum.

“That was fun,” he says with a smile. A straight row of glistening teeth sink into his lower lip. “And something we should do again sometime.”

“I doubt you’ll have to do much to convince us,” San mutters, eyes darting over to find yours. “Right, Y/N?”

“Sign me up.”

a/n: im sorry this took so lONG oidjfosij this was really hard to write for some reason so i hope it’s still good but yeet yes hello ;-;

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asmallnerd · 4 years

Text

Autistic Shoto Todoroki

The analysis

First off, I would like to say that this is purely a passion project. I am not a professional, I am an autistic teenager and I’m just very interested in this character because I heavily relate to him. I’ve collected some scenes from the manga and two specific things from the third light novel.

If you could boost this (if you’re interested that’d be great because while I really enjoy doing this it does take a lot of time! With that being said let’s dive into this and I hope you find this interesting!

Could Shoto Todoroki be autistic? Here is why I think he absolutely could.

Emotional perception

Let’s start with one of the most obvious things about his character. The emotional factor.

Shoto doesn’t emote in the way his peers do. Now, of course this also plays into the brooding mysterious guy archetype, but that’s not what we’re talking about.

Shoto’s face is typically relatively neutral, this is apparent from the moment we first meet him and while he does tend to express his emotions more clearly later in the story, it doesn’t ever really change. Something that immediately comes to mind is how in chapter 202 Iida asks if Shoto is alright because Iida noticed his expression change (because he knows him very well by this point). Ojiro points out that he did not notice this, since Shoto’s face barely changes at all.

We see Shoto in a lot of situations where his peers show excitement while his expression remans completely flat. This lack of emoting is something extremely common in people with autism. It’s not that they don’t have emotions or don’t express them at all, they just do it in a way that is hard to understand for people outside the spectrum or those who don’t know the autistic individual very well. They often struggle to understand what emotion they’re feeling in the first place and of course it’s hard to express feelings if you don’t know what you’re feeling.

Shoto doesn’t only show difficulty expressing his emotions but also recognizing those of other people. One of the best examples of this is the final exam arc, where he gets paired up with Yaoyorozu. In chapter 63 specifically, he doesn’t realize that Yaoyorozu is upset about something even though to someone else it’d probably have been obvious. Only when Aizawa points out that he should listen to her does he notice that he’s been doing something wrong. Shoto didn’t notice she was upset, and he didn’t notice he was being rude.

Emotions and emotional responses are continuously shown to be difficult for Shoto to handle. What he has absolutely no issues with, on the other hand, are academics. Of course, we can naturally assume that he’s been drilled to study hard from a very young age, but he is also extremely intelligent outside of the classroom. During the sports festival he is the first person shown to figure out that the obstacle course poses a lot more disadvantages to the people in the lead, during the practical exam, he is able to come up with a solid strategy very quickly.

During the training camp arc, him and Deku are the ones to come up with a strategy to protect Bakugo on the spot. He also doesn’t seem to consider his intelligence anything special. A lot of autistic people tend to assume that other people’s experiences align with their own. This can be seen when he seems surprised about Denki worrying that he’ll fail the written final exam. He asks how he could possibly fail if he’s been attending class, like the concept is entirely foreign to him (also there’s about a 0% chance this was a joke because this is Shoto we’re talking about.) He is very good at logical problem solving but emotional issues seem to stump him.

Literacy and verbal filters

Moving on, another big factor that Shoto seems to struggle with is his tendency to be overly literal and very blunt. There are several instances where he says things that we as readers as well as other characters perceive as insensitive. Once again, his interaction with Denki about the final exams (chapter 60) can be an example. He didn’t seem to think it was inappropriate and because this is Shoto, he didn’t ask to tease him either. Denki even points out that this was insensitive to say. A more subtle example is his conversation with Izuku in chapter 73, when they talk about Kota. His overall phrasing is fine, but he remains very blunt and direct and essentially ends up telling Izuku that his tendency to cut to people’s hearts with his words is annoying.

My personal favorite for an example can be found in chapter 83, in the hospital after the training camp, when the class visits Izuku, Shoto points out that “Of course Bakugo isn’t here.” Needless to say, he couldn’t possibly have timed this statement any worse. It wasn’t necessary in the first place, but he didn’t register it as something inappropriate to say.

One example of not him being unintentionally rude but just showing a different approach to telling the truth is seen in the third light novel. The fifth chapter revolves around the class preparing a birthday party for Iida. At one point, Sato asks if Iida has food allergies out of nowhere. Iida naturally asks why he needs to know this, Shoto is immediately ready to answer the question honestly, which would have spoiled the surprise, had Izuku not stepped in.

Autistic people often have trouble seeing whether something is or isn’t appropriate to say. Neurotypical people’s brains have a filtering process, it helps them be aware of possible responses to a statement. This filtering process is not functional or only limited in autistic people.

Shoto is also overly literal. In chapter 57, he gets upset over his friends continuously getting their hands hurt and refers to himself as “the hand crusher”. He is very serious about this and does not understand how Iida and Izuku could possibly think he was joking.

In chapter 164, he answers Gang Orca’s metaphoric question entirely seriously. During the interview training in chapter 241 he first seems confused by the made-up mission in the first place. He then proceeds to ask Mt Lady if she has a heart condition when she uses the phrase “My heart would burst out of my chest”. Finally, he appears genuinely horrified when she calls him a “lady killer” (“My smile will kill women..?!”)

In chapter 257, when Mineta claims school talk will “ruin the taste of the food”, Shoto simply says it tastes the same to him, to which Mineta proceeds to call him out for being overly literal.

Autistic people typically struggle to understand jokes and sarcasm, in fact, it’s often one of the main characteristics in people with an ASD diagnosis.

Overfamiliarity and Oversharing

Shoto’s tendency to overshare is another thing that is very typical foe ASD.

He doesn’t seem to understand that telling his life story to a classmate he’s barely interacted with prior is not exactly an appropriate thing to do. He repeats this later with All Might and, most notably, in chapter 165, when talking to the preschoolers during his provisional licensing course.

He also seems to have a slightly different perception of what makes someone friends than his classmates. As shown in chapter 241, to him, spending time with Bakugo during the licensing course is enough to deem them friends. Even when Bakugo points out that there is no correlation between the time spent together and friendship, he still doesn’t seem to understand.

Autistic people tend to become overly familiar and are easily attached to people if they perceive just one of their interactions as positive.

Attachment to inanimate things

This is something not really shown in the manga, but noteworthy, nonetheless. We know that Shoto, upon moving into the dorm building, remodeled his entire room from a modern, more western style room, into a traditional Japanese style one. The second chapter of the third novels goes into depth about why he did this. Shoto was entirely dumbstruck and thrown off by how different the room is from what he was used to. He knew the traditional Japanese rooms from home and his brain assumed that the dorms would be the same. He felt like the different style was wrong. He doesn’t like the unfamiliar flooring and even a small thing like the positioning of the light switch bother him.

He’s not comfortable in the unfamiliar environment, so he decides to change it.

Autistic people often struggle to adjust to changes. In environment and routine. They feel most comfortable in a well established and familiar routine, that includes the feel of their living space. A change of environment this drastic would be extremely stressful for someone on the spectrum.

Another thing that isn’t particularly obvious but does make sense when considered is that Shoto seems to have a comfort food (cold soba). While he’s never shown or stated to be a picky eater he does seem to opt for the same food whenever he gets the chance. Autistic people often have a very restricted diet due to sensory processing issues that apply to food textures, smells and taste.

Additional points

Shoto seems to be a little face blind. He doesn’t know who Kota is when Izuku mentions him, which seems to genuinely surprise Izuku. He also didn’t remember Inasa at all despite them having been at the same entrance exam.

In chapter 202 he’s shown completely zoning out. Of course, this can happen to anyone, I just found it interesting because it was shown so clearly, making it obvious that it was something we should pay attention to.

In the novel chapter in which he remodels his room it is also mentioned that the feeling of synthetic floor against his feet upsets him.

Shoto also seems relatively indifferent to temperature. Of course, that would correlate to his quirk as well, but it is also common for autistic people to struggle with temperature perception as well as other things that neurotypical people don’t struggle to recognize like hunger or thirst. This specifically applies to situations where you would typically end up in pain like, for example, frostbite. Shoto would obviously be used tot his but him showing no reaction at all to his body halfway freezing over was a little unnerving.

He also is shown to be relatively uninterested in certain social events like for example the room competition after the class moves into the dorms. He doesn’t want to be there; he’d rather go to sleep. In the beginning he also shows clear disinterest in making friends with his classmates. Both very typical things for people on the spectrum.

In chapter 244, Hawks asks Shoto a question in a way that seems to confuse him so much he can’t even form a coherent response. [Hawks: “Seemed like you were in trouble, Endeavor.” Endeavor: “Me? Not a chance.” Hawks: “But it seemed that way, didn’t it, Shoto?” Shoto: “Um..I…uh…”]

He probably didn’t register if Hawks actually wanted him to answer or not.

In chapter 64 he mistakes Yaoyorozu crying for her feeling sick, horribly misreading her expressions.

This last point is more personal than the rest, watching his reactions to Endeavor’s fight with the Nomu in chapter 190 made me think of the stress progression that often causes autistic shutdowns. Shoto was clearly becoming more and more stressed as he was watching and once it was over simply seemed to shut down. That is a very typical response to emotional distress or overstimulation in autistic people.

Final disclaimer

This is purely for my own entertainment; it is not meant to be offensive to anyone and I am not saying that this is absolutely what is going on. I’m simply elaborating on a theory/headcanon that I have. That being said, if you have questions feel free to drop them in the ask box, I’d be thrilled!

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #shoto todoroki #boku no hero textpost #mha textpost #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #character analysis #shoto todoroki analysis #autistic shoto todoroki #autism headcanon #op is autistic #special interest #long post

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