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lzizzz · 11 months

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What did you think when you left me this way

by Lingering_Bastard

Chapter 1

The cuff of my jumper had started to fray this past hour, though I could not even recall when I first started pulling at it with my fidgeting hand. And my fingers are starting to become numb from the repeated action. Cracked nail polish I should have redone before the party falls away in suit, I liked this jumper. I’m going to burn it later.

The night is a delicate balance of warm air and a cool breeze, that clashes with the energetic music which fills every inch of this house. It’s loud and evasive, I can’t even catch onto the beat. It would be a wasted effort to pay attention anyway, nothing can drown out this mood. I’m painfully aware of that, and as much as I would love to go downstairs and turn it up several notches, just to feel the bass tremor through my bones, I don’t believe there is any louder option. Surely the neighbors are thin on patience, ready to call in a noise complaint.

I know it would be rude to ask, considering the hour is already late, but I don't know who’s house this is. The red tile roof, white painted exterior, and nice timber porch I half stumbled up were not very recognizable. The front yard was impressive, surely I would have remembered being here before. What did I come here to celebrate? I hazily remember picking out a group gift at the mall last Saturday, a day I found too hot and broke out into an embarrassing sweat in the food court. While my friends ate burgers for lunch, I didn’t bother wasting my money on another meal I'd end up scrunching up with regret and trashing; My stomach had been filled with rocks for weeks, growling in hunger but unable to digest. I remember dressing myself up for this evening, glaring at the mirror with uneven make-up and trembling hands. I broke a fishnet and decided against trying on another. The terror of the evening was looming over me, anxiety becoming electricity in my veins. It was painful, and I grabbed the first jumper in my wardrobe for comfort. I should have looked at what I chose, but my mind was wholly focused on my heartbeat, and fighting back the dread festering in my stomach. I left my room as it changed to a dazzling shade of red, the sunset painting my walls for the evening. I car pooled to this address with teenagers I had never met, but they still greeted me with smiles. A comfort in its own.

The decoration was actually quite lovely, I did take note. Not much to do when your phone is dead and social stamina alike. I skipped past the drinks and snacks, which I would have loved to devour if this party had been a few months ago. I lost my carpool group immediately, which was no worry, I'd expected about as much. That was not the turn-off; It was when my first few conversations with these strangers grew boring, both painfully empty and exhausting, I decided that tonight was not for me. I let my body escape to the second floor balcony, a good vantage point to watch the party. The colorful bulb lights, strung between the roof gutters, illuminated the tables, bean bags, and inflatable couch. You had stair access to the backyard beneath, where the lit pool was being currently used by insanely hyper teenagers. My mind was at peace for a while, soaking up the atmosphere, just avoiding life for a moment. In just an hour I observed a whole three games of failed volleyball, a pool noodle army fighting for what looked like a rubber duck, a few belly-flops and 55 cannonballs. Not to mention the couples making out. It actually looked fun, if I had any sort of energy for it. I didn't bring a change of swimwear, unfortunately. The night progressed rapidly, as usual. Beer Pong started and many left the pool to act as an improv cheer team.

I liked this party; Any teenager would. Free food, 'cool' parents that didn't bat an eye at underage drinking, enough people to mingle with. I'd even caught a whiff of smoke, the good ol' green someone is probably making some good cash selling. Yes, a good chaotic and happy party. It was a shame my hands had not stopped shaking, tearing at my cuffs and the railing in front of me. The anxiety keeping me at the edge of my seat, unwilling to move. Oh no, I couldn't leave, not until I'd at least seen a glimpse of him.

He arrived after me, as usual. Late, as usual. And wearing, the usual. Yet he still brought in a crowd with his magnetic energy. And I could appreciate that they gave him a distraction, all the delirious fun he needed. After all, Kevin doesn’t just come to parties for the sake of attendance, he always has a second agenda. In fact, he never even cared where his girlfriend was throughout the night.

I bet he wouldn’t even miss a beat if I started making out with someone. Right. In. Front. Of. Him.

Kevin came in half an hour ago, I only knew because someone downstairs cheered ‘Khatchadourian’. Who else in this entire country has such a ridiculous family name? He didn’t look for me, or ask where I was, or if I came; It’s not something that I could’ve heard, I just know he didn’t. He never does. He stuck to the bottom floor doing god knows what, unknowingly giving me peace on the second floor. Then, just as I had expected, now that beer pong was called, he takes his scheming outside.

I love his eyes, I hate to say it. When I first met him, they were the first thing that caught my attention. He looked as if he knew the secrets to everything. And I mistook something in them for softness, for natural curiosity. Now all I see is a nonchalant stare, the observant sweep of a room, the glint when he spies prey.

We lock eyes tonight for the first time, as I’m leaning over the balcony, still seated on a bar stool. My ankles are crossed and I feel my demeanor to anyone looks bored. I’m just a pretty, bored girl, sitting alone on a party balcony. And when I lock eyes with him, I’m reminded why no one would even dare come my way with mischievous intent.

An involuntary shiver jolts through me, goosebumps hidden by long sleeves, as he carelessly tilts his head upwards, seemingly as though he knew all along where I was situated. It felt similar to a game of hide and seek, but one where the seeker knew all your hiding spots. He doesn’t wave, or smile, or nod. Looking at me with cold eyes was his greeting. He keeps his gaze on me long enough to assert our knowledge of each other, then he casually drops his attention on me, and continues with whatever mind games he was pulling tonight. He frightens people, somewhat. I believe I was overly excited to tell friends at school we were dating. I use to constantly find myself being flirted with, hit on at gatherings and parties. Then Kevin began making his moves on me, and it was as if every man on Earth stopped finding me attractive. I can’t imagine him threatening anyone over me, he’s never shown any possessive traits over me. I’ve come to a conclusion that other people that know Kevin just don’t want to fall out of his favour.

I miss kissing strangers.

While his gaze dropped, I continued to stare at my hearts most wanted possession. A boy that seemly could not love back. I use to see everything though a shade of Rose, fooling myself that every action he did was wonderful. That any words spoken to me were out of love. I adored his smile and his intellect. I use to complete homework or read books as he practiced archery. Then he’d notice me staring at him for too long, my attention transfixed to his beauty, like a marble statue of a Greek god, and he would smirk with the cockiest attitude before pulling me in for a kiss. When he still use to kiss me. Which doesn’t matter. As much as I miss those soft lips or tight embrace, what hurts the most is that he doesn’t even talk to me.

I noticed his ticks too late in the relationship. Too many dates and too many secrets in. The way he didn’t quite treat everyone as human, or on par with him. As if we were participants in his game, or a new sub-par species to be watched. The way he would fake his grades to be average, the way he would collect computer viruses, and I never questioned his clothing sense. It also annoys me that I had never seen him eat in front of me, ever. And how, though almost undetectably and what I thought I had just imagined, resentful he was towards his own little sister.

My mother would call me and Kevin inseparable, and likewise, Eva would openly welcome me into her home whenever I pleased. I should have watched her more than I watched Kevin. She always seemed to have this look on her face when I was with her son. Not that motherly protection, no, nothing about that look was jealousy or protectiveness of Kevin. She was always looking at me, on edge, worried, biting back words. She had the expression of a woman who was letting her puppy play with a precious toy, and I was that toy, and she wanted to pull me away as quickly as possible. I overlooked the strange relationship Kevin and his mother had. Much as I had overlooked Kevin. Skipped right into everything wonderful about him, if there ever were such things.

Our first party together was my first red flag. That one was at a good friend’s house, dear lord, nothing could have gone worse for me that night. The number of people that buzzed into that house, it must have held many gate crashers. She didn’t care. And that night I lost Kevin within the first 20 minutes of entering. At least, back then I would have said lost, compared to the facts I now hold, he knowingly took his chance and slipped away from me. I was left alone to face questions of “Where is your boyfriend?. “Oh, he’s around here somewhere” I laughed, hiding deep down my bitterness, and the cold stab he had given me by leaving me alone. He knew I didn’t like being left without warning.

I worked myself into such a panic that by the end of the night I thought he wanted to break up with me. When we finally reunited, it was well past midnight and I was exhausted. He looked at my teary face and gave me an impossibly hard-to-decipher sigh, probably meant for himself. Kev coolly reassured me he just got ‘caught up’ with some friends. But that was a lie I easily looked through. Though too tired to fight the explanation and just glad he was still with me, I nodded as believably as possible, soothing down my dress and giving him a loving smile. My heart broke at that moment. I never told anyone how I cried myself to sleep, the restless hours having me rethink my whole relationship with Kevin Khatchadourian.

Kevin's attitude from that party continued into our everyday life. He was too busy for me suddenly, and some days I would be over at his house having tea with Eva as a substitute for my loneliness. She was a darling woman, and she spoke to me a lot about travel. The memories she was conjuring up would get her so worked up in her nostalgia, I would wonder sometimes if she would notice if I left. Would she continue monologuing to herself? She told me many places to visit, but many sentences ended along the lines of “take a friend” “It’s a good solo trip.” Somehow her knowledge of Kevin’s loveless nature was reassuring. It was only a shame I was still full of love, being the idiot I am, I could not stop falling for any date invites (many he stood up), or casual hangouts (which was always just me sitting alone as he either paid more attention to his friends or wholeheartedly practiced archery). And of course, I had to learn my lessons more than once, as I kept ‘taking’ him to parties.

It was 11:30pm, which was probably an early time to finish, when I walked around the house with a drunken buzz, asking the remaining guests if they had seen my boyfriend. In fact, one did. They said he left over an hour ago. My heart sank so quickly, I could almost throw up. My insides twisted along with that, I felt a slight wobble in my step. The very air I was breathing was tainted with betrayal. And I still had the strength to laugh and pretend that I ‘totally forgot’ he had told me he was going. Hollywood could hire me.

Although there was the inevitability of this deep fear, I wasn't prepared for the first time feeling so brutal. The beginning of many nights he would leave me all alone. Gut-wrenching; our first blunder was nothing compared to this, the pain practically tenfold. I didn’t even bother telling him I was upset, he knew. And, hurtfully, it became a habit afterward that we never left a party at the same time. Not too soon after that habit, Kevin started telling me to not worry about picking him up beforehand, and he would arrive whenever. The exact word ‘whenever’.

Eventually I stopped trying to find him, I supposed he didn’t come to every outing I told him about. I’m sure he didn’t invite me along to every outing he was told about.

My seating area is becoming crowded, and I’m sure my limbs have gone numb from staying in the same position for so long. I hop off the bar stool, noticing the beer pong group had dissipated a while ago, and carefully place one foot after another as I quietly descend the wooden stairs to the backyard. At the bottom, I see one of the numerous ice buckets scatted around the property that hold drinks. I grab one at random, just to hold, just to stop pulling at my cuffs, and wander over to the now crowd less pool. Still a few swimmers in the shallow end, but no one of bother.

As I sit cross-legged on a dry piece of concrete, my mind starts regurgitating more memories of the past I repressed as if tonight the stars cannot take my lying. I grip the bottle painfully as I observe the still healing wound on my upper thigh. My shorts are long enough to cover it, but sitting like this hikes them up enough.

It happened at the worst party, two weeks ago. I arrived a bit later than planned, and way later than the party started. It was in a full riot, I think my mind was already screaming at me to be out the door before I'd even stepped into the living room. Right when I was debating over joining the ruthless chugging contest, or finding one of my classmates tolerable enough to hang around with, a fight broke out. It was violent, as any fight gets. I foolishly rushed to the sound of breaking glass and cursing. Curiosity? Trying to help? Who knows. There had never been a moment with such awful timing in my life. Just as I turned the corner, pushing past a small crowd, one of the brawlers lunged at the other. As he knocked the other over, I had placed myself perfectly in the line of danger. The guy's hand had a death grip on the broken bottle, the jagged glass sliced through the thin fabric of my outfit easily and caught my thigh, carving painfully through the flesh as I went down screaming with them.

The fight stopped immediately, not at my scream but at the sight of blood, soaking my dress and pooling onto the floor. Adrenaline pumped through me, putting a pause on the pain. Through the worried crowd and my now franticly anxious attackers swarming me, I saw Kev. I knew immediately who started the fight, or should I say, ignited it. He didn’t look the least bit concerned as we locked eyes, and he turned away from the scene. I bit my cheek and held pressure with a towel as someone drove me to the hospital, we couldn’t call an ambulance to a party of underage drinkers. I listened to my cover story so many times they were the only words out of my mouth for several hours. It was all an accident. Wasn’t it, my love?

Maybe for a sick few weeks, I started to accept his torture as part of our relationship. I fell for him too hard too quickly, and after a year of being together, I still feel as if I barely know him. And there is no true way of truly understanding him, not without either fearing or hating him. It's come to my attention that even with an aching gap in my heart, some nights I've enjoyed not seeing or talking to him at the parties. It was better that way. It has become, more natural, easier, to just not talk to him at all. No matter how much it hurts, I know it’s right.

I leave my drink by the pool, unopened. My head spins, I’ve become a rush of thoughts. Am I not good enough for him? Why would a boy like him even choose to date me? In fact, it's even more curious that he chose to date. How much of our time together was a lie? I cannot tell. But he’s upset me too much, I would actually dread to know the answer. I would rather pretend that some of it, some of our time together, was real. No matter if it was all fake.

I notice the drink I pulled out was alcoholic, giving a momentary thought about chugging it before chuckling at myself. No, if I'm feeling my pain tonight, best do it sober. I leave it unopened by the pool as I stand and stretch out my cold and achy legs. Turning, I walk back into the house, as willingly as possible. I don't want to pretend I have no love for him; I do. In every moment since we met, no matter how devastated I felt, no matter how much hurt there was in me; I loved the boy as foolishly as possible. I loved how handsome he was, how I could trace his face for hours and still get lost in it, how we use to talk for hours on end and it felt like minutes, the way my hands easily combed through his hair, and how he would hold me when I felt my world was crashing and somehow become an ocean of calm I could fall into.

Oh, I am madly in love with Kevin Khatchadourian. And I know, can’t change that. But now, finally, the hope that I was clinging to breaks, and I know he doesn’t love me. He could never love me, it's just in his nature. To end my misery in this paper-thin relationship is all I can do. I feel choked by that knowledge, a hollow void in my chest aches, my immunity to this pain now worn off, just like the pain of the glass, it comes sharp, the agony screaming for my attention. It doesn’t wear away, but I can’t cry. Not just yet.

In the end, I’ve been learning to lose him, haven’t I? The distance we’ve been keeping, the separation from each other is apparent. I saw this coming from the first party, I saw this coming from the last. His jacket I'd kept in my wardrobe that I accidentally picked out in a rush, the one I'm wearing tonight, is the closest thing to contact we've had in a month. It twists my mind around and confuses me every day. Why hold the title of girlfriend, lover, partner? We are far from it now. I want this to all be over.

I reach the door well enough, turn the cold handle, and take my first steps onto the front porch. My house is only a few blocks away, I can make it safely home. Not my first night walk anyways. I'm giddy for a moment, thinking I'm able to slip away, I can already envision getting home, making some hot chocolate, watching some late-night tv to rid my head of thoughts. It's only when I reach the bottom step I notice there was no telltale thud of that heavy door shutting behind me. Huh, guess he took notice I was going to leave. Didn’t think that would happen. Yet again, Kevin surprises me. I turn a little too slowly, facing the boy at the door, knowing my home plans are already trashed.

“Enjoy your night?” He smirks, casually taking a few steps toward me, but never descending the stairs. His query sounds more bored than anything. And unfortunately, even under the circumstances, with his messy black hair and dark eyes you could lose yourself in, Kev still looks like the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen. We share a breath under the scrutiny of the porch light.

“Enjoy yours?” I ask back, quirking my neck. It comes out just above a whisper, but calm.

“I am still enjoying it, in fact.” Still smirking, he looks behind me, almost a roll of his eyes. Left and right, the front yard home to a few party goes having various conversations. “Just wanted to say goodnight, that’s all.”

I almost chuckle in madness. Goodnight, huh? He never wishes me a goodnight anymore. But I have no room for another conversation. In my heart, I cannot find the right way to express what I’m going through. I want so very very badly to both push him down the porch steps, but also lean in and press my lips against his, one last time. He looks as if he's about to go on, but I interject.

“Well, I won't ruin the fun for you. Goodbye.”

I say it with a whisper of a smile, the words almost foreign to me, as he closes that devilish mouth of his. I don't want more pointless words. He can’t fill my head with more beautiful lies. The last goodbye comes out softer then I wanted, but blunt nonetheless. Very final.

‘Goodbye’. It echoes between us. The music seems to stop, and it’s just me and him alone on the porch, eyes meeting. For the first time I think he notices how tired, how defeated I look. And I leave him at that, as I turn away and hurry towards the front gate.

The blood rushing through my ears covers up any sound he could have made. I don’t look back to see if he said anything. If he stands watching me leave, or simply stepped back inside. Now, it doesn’t matter. The final bell has tolled. He never stopped me from leaving.

I let the tears fall freely down my face as I walk home. They are hot and never-ending. But they feel comforting. I finally cry out my heart, months of repressing the hurt and confusion, and rejection. This time I sob because I’ve escaped. It’s both devastating to lose him, and so very satisfying to finally let go. My knees tremble, but I power on. Soon, in between the sobs and sniffles, I’m laughing. I’m smiling through snot and tears.

Everything is better now. It’s going to be fine. I like it better this way, don’t I?

#kevin khatchadourian #we need to talk about kevin

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pbandjesse · 4 months

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It was beautiful out today. But it was a little hard to enjoy it when I was as freaking tired as I was. I was able to put that to the side for a lot of it but it was still tough at times.

Me and James both agreed that the quality of sleep last night was lacking. The room was to hot. We set up a fan over the AC to try and help the air around more but it was just not ideal. So waking up was hard.

I would get dressed and felt alright. I didn't want to go to work. Driving in was very tough. I also thought I was going to hit James on their bike with the car because they were crossing the street where I was coming out of an alley and it scared me! But it didn't help me wake up any more. Still so sleepy.

When I got to work I immediately went and got the ropes key and went to set up the low ropes course. As I was finishing that and got back to my car, Nick was driving in behind me. He was surprised I already got the program set up but it allowed us to just chill on our phones for a half hour.

He would go with Sarah to drop off the water coolers before we all met up at the lodge. I would sit outside for a bit. Rocking on the rocking chairs. But eventually headed in. Where the kids went "finally!!" Except we were multiple minutes early. Silly. I'm glad they were excited.

Me and Nick would run low ropes. I would run the first program, and he did the second. It was really interesting to see the different ways he lead it compared to me. I went against my better judgement and had everyone act as spotters but I just don't think it helps in the long run. It leads to a whole lot of people assuming someone else is ready to catch a falling friend, which leads to more people falling. But I still think we had fun.

I liked adding variations today to the spotters call and response. For the second element, that we called pirates crossing, instead of saying "spotters ready?" "Spotters on!", we had them say "pirates ready??" "Pirates on!" Then for the third they would say "spiders ready?" "Spiders on!" Which made them much more engaged and it was very silly. It was a fun day.

There was some confusion on the schedule because they had a snack on their schedule and we didn't have that. Making the two programs slightly out of sink. Because our group would go right to the barn to interact with the horses, and our second group went to have a snack first. Nick would go and collect them but it allowed me to sit and have a short break. Which did help. Any time I got to be quiet and alone today helped.

The second group was very good at being spotters. Nick mostly lead this one and I stayed out of the way and just reminded spotters and said encouragement. It was fun.

We had some time so we would do whale watcher. And they weren't amazing at it at first but once they listened to my advice to have most people lay down they would get almost 40 seconds. So they were happy and I walked them to lunch.

Nick stayed behind to put the ropes away. And I would hang out in the office and had my lunch. But eventually I would go on a walk. Up to arts and crafts to go over my field trip materials. And lay in my hammock for a half hour. Which was great. I gotta figure out a hammock set up for the house because I just love hammock and I want it more. I am not positive if I will be hammock sleeping at camp this summer, but I do have that as an option still.

I would go for a longer walk. And went to clean the lodge but it was actually pretty clean any ready. The group did a really nice job. I would still wipe somes stuff down but then I just kept walking.

I went to the chicken coop and sat with the chickens. I got some of the skittish ones to let me hold them. And got pecked by one which was rude! I will bring them a snack next time. It was nice to be with them though.

After walking through woodlands and back to the boys latrine. Where I washed my hands and then went to check out the Adirondack space. I would go back towards the office. Stopping to chat with Joe. And then to charge my phone.

It was about 2 and I had texted Ceila to see if she wanted to hang out earlier. And she said yes! So once she was home from her appointment I would drive to her house. I said goodbye to Sarah and made sure I had what I needed for tomorrow to work from home. And was off.

When I got to Celia's house she would give me a piece of pizza and we would jump in her car. Her house was super nice inside. Very impressive. But we had places to be! Berries to pick!

It was a nice drive to the farm, which was about a half hour away. I really enjoyed our conversation. About work and life and turtle keeping. And I was very excited to go pick berries.

We would arrive at the farm and after some sun screen and bug spray we would get our cardboard tray boxes and went to wait for the tractor to drive us to the field.

We were making jokes and being silly. Telling stories. I was having a lot of fun. And picking the strawberries was so nice.

One of the farmers would come out and tell us more about the different varieties of berries. I liked the very small and sweet ones. Celia wanted bigger and deeper red ones. And I think we did an excellent job getting what we wanted. Also just eating a lot of berries. I would eat any that lost their leaves or stem and some types were better then others but I was having so much fun. We would sit on the ground and pick and pick and pick. It was beautiful out. I am so glad we did this and I'm so glad we did it on a Thursday when there was basically no people. Maybe 10 other people in the whole field. It was so easy to just be alone. It was great.

I would get a little sun tired and would just sit in the field while Ceila continues to pick. I told her not to rush on my account but she said she would be done soon anyway. My foot was hurting really bad from a cut that had split open. But it was fine. We would keep seeing better berries we had to stop for but we had filled out trays.

In the end I would have 7.5lbs and spent $22 (I also got 4 honey sticks), and Celia would spend $34 (she also got a cream soda). All in all a great deal. James is going to use some to make a strawberry bread and I'm going to make a bunch of jam. I'm very excited to make jam.

We would go back to Celia's house. Where I got to meet her mom who was lovely. She is selling some chairs that look just like ones Jess has shown me that she wanted so I would get her number to connect them. I hope that works out.

And after making some jokes with Celia, and using her bathroom, I was off. Time to go home. Hugs all around. I'm really glad we're friends.

I would make a pit stop at Wawa for a mostly disappointing sandwich. And then home. No traffic but someone acting stupid on York road. I would get home without much trouble.

When I got back I made sure I parked on the correct side for tomorrow so I don't have to worry about moving. I'm working from home and want to just focus on that so I can take advantage of the morning. I would text James to come help me carry the strawberries and they ran out of the house. They are so cute.

We would go inside and decided to sit together outside. James pulled the rocking chairs out there and we sat together and talked. We let Sweetp out but we kept a close eye on him. We would sit out there for a long time but I started getting a little cold as the sun went behind the other house, so we went inside.

I would work on a little mending project, fixing my favorite camp pants from last year that need large patching on the inside of the thighs. And I would go through my market box to make sure it's good to go for Saturday. And then went to lay upstairs .

James would come up to install the string lights I got for the hallway. And then I went to take a bath. Which was very nice.

I would bandage my feet where I got the cuts. And got comfy in bed. And that is where I am now. Very sleepy. But happy.

Tomorrow I have lots of computer work and then I am going to the museum at 130. I will get to be home earlier and I will get to help with some of the earlier in the day stuff. Which I think is great. I get to help with a rehearsal and a few other things things I haven't had as much practice with. I'm looking forward to a good day.

I hope you all have a good day tomorrow. And take care of yourselves. I love you all. Goodnight!!

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firstdivisiongirl · 5 months

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Hiiii! How are you??? :) hope you are having a good day<3 may I ask for a romantic Tokyo revengers matchup, please??

My pronouns are she/her and I'm bisexual, but mostly attracted to men. I'm usually very friendly with everyone and willing to help people. I make friends easily and I'm very easygoing, like I could make friends with other random girls on the streets because if I find a girl very pretty or I like her style I usually come up to her and tell her and we start talking and talking like we already knew each other, lol. I'm very very loyal with my friends and family and I'm willing to go confront someone for them if they are having beef with someone else and asking for my help. I talk a lot about things that I like but I am a very good listener. I'm also very very forgetful and very very messy. I'm not good at school, like at all, I just have my head in the clouds most of the time. I'm also a very affectionate and touchy friend, most people find me pretty funny and chill, I tend to swear a lot even in normal conversations, even when I'm not mad, and I fall in love soooo easily, like way too easily😭 I have very very low standards even though I like more older, masculine and tall guys I also really really don't mind nerds, sensitive boys, artists, ykwim?? But I usually gravitate towards people who I think can take care of me and give me a little bit of princess treatment, patient lovers. I'm also kind of the type of girlfriend who is kinda like your best friend. But I just fall very easily and get heartbreaks a lot. I'm a very sensitive person, very empathetic, but sometimes I'm unintentionally rude to my friends or other people, so I can be rude and uncalled sometimes and I'm very ashamed of that after, and sometimes especially with professors I can be easy to put up a fight with since I have a sharp tongue- my hobbies are drawing, photography, watching anime, singing, theater, acting,the history of cinema and animation, makeup and hanging out with my friends :)

I dislike people who are mean just because they think it's fun to be randomly mean to someone, people who look at you weird or snob you when you compliment them, when people touch my stuff without asking, when someone hurt animals and people who just can't stand up for themselves not even a little bit. I really like Italian old love songs, love books from the 50s 60s (they are literally so romantic without being cliche), musicals, disney movies expecially the old ones, animation, flowers (even though im allergic🧍🏻��♀️), making people laugh, imprevedibile and fun people, dressing feminine, horror and romantic movies, videogames, old rock and romantic music.

I'm 5'0 with long long brown hair with highlights and bangs, amber eyes with long lashes, thin lips, a mole next to my nose and I always try to smile bc I like how I look when I smile :) my skin is pretty taken care of and clear, i love dressing feminine but mostly dress with baggy pants and a crop top or compression shirt, something like that, but sometimes i love putting on very short miniskits and platforms to look taller (I never wear non-platform shoes bc I wanna look taller). Also I love wearing hello kitty stuff😭❤️

I feel like this is way too much I am so so sorry- you can ignore if you don't feel like doing it🙏❤️

Have a great day, love the way you write, keep it up :D

Hi. I am doing pretty good. You didn't write too much at all and I would never ignore it. And thank you for the kind words. I want to let you know that I picked someone who could be considered controversial. If you don't like it, DM me and I will give you another. I hope you like it!

You Got...

Tetta Kisaki!!!!

I know. He's...him. But hear me out!

He's into girls who are friendly and super nice. You also give me Hina vibes.

He seems to be into very into things like history and film. I think you two would talk about film, it's history, how different camera angles are used, etc.

He would get you so many vintage things like books and old records. Anything to see you smile.

He would love that you fall so easily. That means it is easier for him to win you over. Although, he will try very hard to be the perfect partner.

WILL NEVER BREAK YOUR HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will treat you like a princess.

Most people would think he would hate someone who is not great in school. But I believe he would like that because then he could tutor you and spend more time with the person he loves.

Slow dancing to old songs in the living room!

Would love that you can fight for yourself. Makes him worry less about you and your wellbeing. He will still worry, but a little less

And lastly, he will love you no matter what. If you are rude, he will love you. When you are upset, he will love you.

Please do not copy, modify, translate or repost my writing on other platforms. Comments, reblogs and likes are highly appreciated!

#first division girl #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers matchup #tokyo revengers matchups #tokyo rev matchup #tr matchups #tr matchup #character matchup

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mochiwrites · 2 years

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i. show me the world outside

master list | chapter two

summary: how grian and iskall came to be, their origins, and the start of their journey.

Sitting down with a heavy sigh, a young man sits on a cliff face. The ocean waves crash into the rocks below him, and he leans back. His eyes fall shut as he listens along to the waves, feeling comfort in the familiar sounds.

The breeze sweeps through his ashen blond hair, clothes moving in the gentle breeze. There’s a smile on his face, taking in the environment around him.

“You know, you make it very easy to sneak up on you.”

He pops an eye open as he tilts his head back fully. He smiles as he meets a very familiar face. He looks into light green eyes, sees the short brown hair. “You know, you try that every time and you always fail, Iskall.” He teases.

The other laughs in reply, moving out from behind him and sitting beside him. “I’ll get you one of these days.” He hums, bumping their shoulders together. Iskall turns to stare out into the ocean, eyes full of fondness. “Back to staring at the ocean, eh, Grian?”

“What can I say, it’s alluring.” Grian answers, settling his gaze on him rather than the sea. “It’s like a reminder. There’s a whole world out there, beyond this orphanage, you know?” He murmurs, “It’s just waiting to be explored.”

Iskall watches him talk, eyes shining with fondness. He has a smile on his face as he listens to Grian talk. “It is.” He agrees, voice going soft. Grian’s ambition is always something he’s admired about the other. His spark. It’s probably what drew him to Grian in the first place.

They’ve been at this orphanage together for years now, Iskall even longer. He first came here because he lost his parents to starvation. His family was never that lucky with money, his father had to work two or sometimes even three jobs to keep them sheltered and fed.

And when the famine hit his hometown… it wasn’t enough anymore.

Iskall wound up in the orphanage soon after. Grian showed up about two years later. His mother had dropped him off on the front door step, promising to return. Yet she never did.

The older kids found it fun to poke fun at Grian and his insistence that his mother would come back for him.

Iskall normally kept to himself, not all that interested in engaging with the other kids. Yet he was curious about Grian, seeing the way he fought back against the teasing. His eyes shone with a kind of light that Iskall had never seen before. He had seen the other covered in bruises from getting into fights so often. Yet the bruises never wiped his smile away.

It had been enough to draw Iskall from his solitude, to pull himself to the magnet that was Grian. He had watched a fight break out once again, and he stepped in. They’ve been friends ever since, and Iskall has never been happier to orbit the pull Grian seems to have on him.

With a little hum, Iskall lets his eyes sweep over the ocean in front of them. He joins Grian in leaning back, crossing one leg over the other. “Y’know, I’ve been thinking.” He starts, and Grian snorts.

“That’s never a good thing.”

“Hey!” Iskall laughs, and Grian grins at him. “Anyways, as I was trying to say before someone rudely interrupted me, I’ve been thinking… what’s stopping us from finally going and exploring that ocean?” He questions, and he can practically feel Grian freeze beside him.

“What?” He asks, staring at Iskall with owl like eyes.

“Don’t look so surprised!” Iskall exclaims, a smile dancing across his lips. “C’mon G, think about it! We’re practically adults now, we don’t have to stay here anymore. Everyone else is just too nice to kick us out.”

“I’m only eighteen, and you’re only nineteen. I don’t think that really counts as adults, Iskall.” Grian retorts, though he’s smiling. “But you… you really want do it?” He questions, something akin to shyness lacing his voice as he does. He’s looking at Iskall with hope, vulnerability.

“I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I didn’t.” Iskall replies, taking Grian’s vulnerability and holding it gently in his hands. He takes one of Grian’s hands in his own, squeezing it. “We’ve both been stuck here. It’s like you said, there’s so much to explore. There’s an entire world that we haven’t seen yet, why not start now?” He grins and Grian beams brightly at him. It makes Iskall’s chest swell with warmth.

“Let’s do it.” Grian squeezes Iskall’s hand in return, and a laugh bubbles up from his chest. “We’re gonna do it! We’re really gonna set sail!” He exclaims cheerfully.

“We absolutely are. And I know just the thing to start with.” Iskall hums, and Grian looks at him with excitement. There’s a new sparkle in his eyes, one that Iskall never wants to see leave.

“Oh?”

“Interested in going on a hunt for the Heart of the Sea?” Iskall questions, raising a brow.

The Heart of the Sea is an interesting piece of treasure. No one has been able to find it, yet there are just about a million different rumors that surround it. It’s the secret to immortality. It gives you the power to control the sea. You name it.

“That’s a lofty goal.” Grian says, but he doesn’t look dissuaded.

“But it’s a good one, hmmm?” Iskall hums. “Following a rumored treasure like that is going to put us all over the world!”

“And you say I’m the ambitious one.” Grian chuckles. “But I’m all in. Even if we never find it… the chance to go on that kind of adventure, I’d be a fool to turn that down.”

“Yes!” Iskall cheers, throwing his arms up in the air. He’s still holding on to Grian’s hand though, so he tugs his arm up as well.

Grian laughs along with him, raising his other arm too. The two of them fall backwards onto the soft grass behind them. The ocean below continues to meet the rocks, creating a soothing sort of white noise. They stare up at the sky, looking right at the moon hanging in the darkness. Stars are speckled throughout the blanket of the night.

“Iskall?”

“Hm?”

“Pinch me to make sure I’m — ow! You couldn’t have let me finish first?!”

Iskall cackles, pulling his hand back from Grian’s side. “What? You should know it doesn’t take much to get me to pinch you.” He grins at Grian’s pout. “But no. You’re not dreaming. I’ve got us a boat and everything. We’re set to leave in the morning.”

“Seriously?!” Grian laughs and props himself up on his elbow, “What if I had said no?” He asks, looking at Iskall with a raised brow.

Shrugging, Iskall replies rather cheekily, “I was pretty confident that you’d say yes.”

Grian gives another laugh at that, shaking his head. “You know me too well.” He sighs softly, laying back down. Their hands are still connected, fingers interlaced. He stares up at the stars, “I’ve dreamed about being on the sea with you for years, and now it’s really happening.”

“Awww, you kept me in your dreams?” Iskall teases, which results in Grian attempting to shove him. He laughs.

“Don’t give me that! You and I both know I’d be lost out on the ocean without your technological knowledge.” Grian grumbles. “Besides, you and I are a pair, I hope you know.”

Iskall rolls onto his side to face Grian, bringing their hands to his line of sight. “We are? That’s news to me.” He jokes, and Grian playfully rolls his eyes as he turns over to face him as well. Iskall squeezes his hand again, “It’s you and I against the world, yeah?”

Grian smiles, “Us against the world.” And then he hums, “Though, if we’re going on an adventure this lofty, we should probably get a crew together and all that.”

“Ah. Right…”

#sea fruits au #griskall #hermitshipping #mochi writes

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zaynes-ocs · 7 months

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Just thinkin about the Bandmates crew again and realizing that idk if I’ve actually fully stated who they are in relevance to being an actual band!

So, each of them is inspired by a different genre of music I listen to, though its pretty broad even when I try and narrow it down a bit, and a few of them are furry ocs I’ve had forEVER that have finally found a story to kinda be slotted into.

Anyways, the main concept of the band is that they are rhe band that plays the music during my mental animatics for other ocs when I zone out, somwtimes even just doing concert animatics themselves when a somg doesnt go to a particular oc, and sometimes, they get special guest preformances from my other ocs! (Namely Xadian). All in all, they’re a very comedic, rag tag, 4th wall breaking set, and this is a little bit of who they are and their roles (color coded for fun)

Dusty “Riot” the Hyena: (he/him) hes the oldest oc of the bunch and has gone through many design changes, but has always been generally rock inspired, namely bands like hollywood undead, fall out boy, and other classic middle school emo rock kinda stuff. Hes the lead singer/main guitarist of the band, but he also plays drums for when its Dimitri’s turn to sing! He’s kind of an awkward, golden retriever type of guy offstage, absolute sweetheart and a total klutz, but he always means well! Hes also a huge nerd and takes the most after myself.

Cherri the scarlet fox: (she/her) shes only a little younger than Riot, and just as loud and peppy! She’s his adoptive sister figure of sorts, more in a childhood friends to besties kinda way and shes more inspired by the pop songs and female vocals in my playlists like Kesha, marina and the diamonds and so on. Shes got a loud, party girl personality and is the worst/best driver of the group (thats up for debate. She hasnt wrecked, yet, but also dont have open drinks if you’re riding with her and use the oh shit handle generously). Shes very blunt and rude about things sometimes, but she means well. If you need to find someone to go wreck a rage room, shees your gal.

N3XU5 alpha: (he/it/they) the first half of N3XU5 prime, hes more the cold, calculating logic behind the band, a mechanical dragon and inspired by a lot of darker techno music and hardstyle edm, bands ranging from Daft Punk to Coone to Chonny Jash, it mans the synthesizer and blasts all sorts of beats from their mechanical jaw, lights on their neck acting as soundbars. He’s kind of the “oldest sibling” type of guy and is honestly the only thing holding the band accountable for anything. It keeps up the matienence of the band’s gear and makes sure everyone arrives on time to practice, though hes not the best at talking to the fans and can come off quite intimidating

N3XU5 beta: (she/they) the other half of N3XU5 prime, she’s the bubbly and eccentric robotic dragon, more steampunk inspired than their silvery twin and much more on the fem presenting side. She does the higher pitched electronic vocals and is inspired by a lot of classic mechanical singing like vocaloid and nightcore and shes just very generally pinkie pie coded. They play the keyboard and always have such a great time just hanging out with her friends at practice! While their brother is more scientific and logical, she is more spiritual and curious and seeks to understand what humans believe about the world rather than what their AI tells them is fact about the world. Shes always eager to learn new things and can fuse together with their bother to make the dual headed drake “N3XU5 Prime”.

Dimitri: (they/them) they’re the cool, calm skaterboy/anarchist of the group. Inspired mostly by metal vocals from 5 finger death punch and a lot of the rough, snarling growls in some music, they’re a dragon who gives zero shits about the world. First and foremost, they’re the band’s drummer, but in their spare time, they’re an avid graffiti artist and arsonist, often setting bonfires in less than safe areas. They like to skateboard at an abandoned skatepark they’ve made their home, and are always down to party with Cherri and Riot when asked, but even better if you can offer up some chaos

#ocs #my ocs #oc #bandmates dating sim #Bandmates #i love these guys they rot in my head rent free

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a34trgv2 · 2 years

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How I'd Write Robotboy

Step 1: Have Episode 1 Be a 2 part Origin Episode: The intro to the show doesn't do a good job explaining why Robotboy is sent to Tommy of all people. Sure, he's a fan of Dr. Moshimo, but is he responsible? Is he knowledgeable in robotics? Can he fix Robotboy when he's broken? Most importantly, how can an ordinary boy protect Robotboy from falling into the wrong hands? All of these questions and more would be explored in the show, starting with the 2 parter. The first half would be about Tommy fixing up Robotboy with his Mom and fending off Kamikaze and Constantine. The second half will see Robotboy and Tommy bonding before ultimately fighting Kamikaze in a giant tank. This special will also show why Kamikaze wants Robotboy, that being to make an army of Robotboys to take over the world.

Step 2: Make Kamikaze More Competent And A Threat: If this guy's supposed to be an evil genius, he should act like one and not be a bumbling idiot. He should be egotistical, intelligent, merciless and stubborn. He should fail so easily and stupidly at the end of each episode. Tommy has to figure out clever ways to beat him and have Robotboy exploit his weakness. Kamikaze should also be able to put up a fight against Robotboy. Even at his age, Kamikaze should me a master of martial arts, a skilled marksman, and robotic aficionado. His greatest weapon of all, though, is his mind as he's able to come up with master plans and powerful machines to seize Robotboy and take over the world.

Step 3: Make Tommy Close With His Family: I really hate that Tommy's family is so stereotypical. Him Mom is a nag, his Dad's an idiot and his brother's a jerk. If the Turnballs are gonna be Robotboy's new family, they should be better role models. Starting with Debbie, she ought to be a very smart, hard working and caring mother who's a robotics engineer and a student of Dr. Moshimo. Dwight is the easygoing, well-mannered, optimistic, and funny father who knows more about plants and animals than he does robots, but is still willing to help. Donnie is Tommy's fun, protective and caring older brother who makes sure Tommy doesn't hurt himself, especially when battling Kamikaze.

Step 4: Making Tommy and Lola Best Friends And Nothing More: There’s nothing wrong with a boy and a girl being best friends and nothing more. Lola never should have a crush on Tommy, nor Tommy on her. Lola should be the smartest, most skilled and most reliable person he knows outside his family. Also she should be in every episode and the more we see of her, the more we learn about her. In addition to her Dad being an ambassador, we also learn that she has stage fright, hates thunderstorms, loves koeksisters (African doughnuts), and collects shiny rocks.

Step 5: Have Gus And Tommy Be Enemies: Gus has no business being Tommy's friend because all he does is belittle him, embarrass him and fights with him. Not to mention he's rude, selfish, lazy and stupid. If there was an original draft where they weren't friends, that's what we're bring back in this version. Gus this time around is the biggest bully in Tommy's school, and even though he puts Tommy down, he NEVER gets off Scott free. Gus always gets detention, humiliated, pumbled, shot at, wedgied and even sick in some hilarious ways every time he talks to Tommy. I'd even write one scene where Robotboy asks Tommy if Gus is a bad guy, and Tommy tells him, "Not really. Gus is more of a funny punching bag than a bad guy." and they share a laugh as Gus eats a dodgeball to the nuts.

Step 6: Have a Stronger Rogues Gallery: The rogues gallery in the show range from annoying to forgettable. I wanna change that to have them all be varying degrees of sinister and cunning. There could be a Russian scientist who made her own version of Robotboy, a charismatic businessman who wants to make Robotboy into a profitable investment, or even an evil wizard who wants to turn people into puppets and Robotboy has to stop him.

Step 7: End It With A TV Movie: This will be the culmination of (idealy) 3 seasons, each with 13 episodes with a total of 26 segments. This movie would be about Tommy and Robotboy coming face to face with the Robotboy army created by Kamikaze with the help of their friends and family. It would ultimately end by taking a page out of The Iron Giant; with Robotboy giving a heartfelt goodbye to Tommy and sacrificing himself to defeat Kamikaze once and for all.

#reblog #share #like #follow #animation #comedy #action #cartoon #rewrite #robotboy

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mapsofnonexistentplacesremade · 2 years

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my brain is particularly gripped by somsak IDK why but i love him so much and his keytar we need to bring those back. but if you have any brainthoughts about him i'd love to hear them!! also ik the relationship section on his toyhouse page is a wip and idk if that's for like any reason but if you have anything to say about that it'd be cool. smash mouth

SOMSIIIIII honestly he exists in such a weird state because i built him up to be a pretty important character really early on and then my brain got distracted by all the other guys i made up.... i need to think about him more and maybe actually working on his page would help LOL

right now he's kind of just sitting in the story as a weird 'absence' character which i do find fun but yknow it means he doesnt really do much. in my minds eye hes just like cool skater kid from a prog ska band who says swear words all the time. theres more to him but i havent been able to put it into words yet....

rest got long so

honestly the relationships part is probably the most interesting. at least so far. the person he's technically closest to is ulises because she's the one who basically revived him and yknow. she feels this kind of responsibility for him and checks in with him to make sure he's ok. somsak thinks he's too cool to ever confront his emotions and likes to stay aloof but deep down he REALLY appreciates ulises' concern.... i think soms is kind of aware that nobody on the train really likes or respects him and though he knows he kind of does it to himself hes at least glad Someone cares about his existence at all. also thinking about it theyd both bond over music they like the same kind of tunes :+) ulises is like his cool prog rock uncle

he also has this with beatrix. having been the person to save him from falling into fornax. but its to a lesser extent just because beatrix is way sharper and untrusting themself so their relationship basically amounts to like. theyre both walking around the train and see one another. silently walk up to one another maintaining full eye contact. beatrix asks in a jovial yet stilted tone "have you fallen into any more dimensional holes as of late" as like the worlds funniest joke. somsak answers "at least 12" plays a haunting riff on his keytar and runs away. they dont talk for another month

uhhhh next thing doesnt really count as a 'relationship' i just think its an interesting character thing i wanna bring up real quick. demeter doesnt like him because he stirs up memories of míra most unpleasantly. obviously they dont say it aloud and its less of a "why do you get to live when she didnt" thing and more of a "wow every time i look at this guy i wonder how my whole life would've changed if míra had survived too" so its just like. wah. they're cold to him :+(

notably hes friends with freya kind of. they both like to cause mischief and will like. very quickly catch on and support one anothers jokes its like epitome of doing a bit with some stranger and just getting the yes/and in sync completely somehow. sometimes freya finds him very annoying and gets kind of rude but that shit flies over soms head completely and he doesnt care

i think his connection with dalisay also works in a similar manner but unlike freya dalisay speaks far more earnestly and its more of like. bouncing off of a straight man sort of improv between them. somsak just finds hir monotony brilliant honestly

somsak kind of admires olzhas and isel and like. has a weird respect for the both of them LOL he tones himself down around them which baffles olja especially. hes just like hey these guys came to the train and found a better life aboard just like i did!!!! fuck yes!!!!!!! theyre cool im also cool!!!!!! he also thinks theyre both just cool looking. transmasc swag forever

what else. have some quotes about him from like typed up relationship charts i made a few months back. theyre the funniest ones

#my ocs #ccs.text #ccsimulacrum

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imjustabeanie · 7 months

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hiii i’m cheri 🏹 from dreamcrush this is gonna be so fun. can i get a matchup for genshin & hsr ?

20, they/he, nonbinary bi (ok with being matched with a guy or a girl), chaotic / true neutral, istj.

appearance: uh like 5’5-5’6, bleached white hair about shoulder length. pale with freckles in summer. i usually wear comfy clothes and dark / more masculine colors (black gray blue green). idc if my partner is taller or shorter than me.

my sense of self is pretty unstable but i’ll try to do my best here. im often praised for my charisma by my friends and my ability to make people like me. i’m really not great at talking to people though it causes me more anxiety than it’s worth usually. but i’m not really the type to get anxious and shrink away from things im moreso the type to make myself bigger to compensate. i’m good at getting along with people but at the same time i don’t really Like people a lot and tend to keep to myself more than anything. i can seem rude or standoffish but i’m just pretty blunt and straightforward about things. i have a tendency to seem more aggressive than i actually intend to be.

i’m not great at opening up about things unless it’s the people i’m closest to, like if i’m dating somebody. i don’t talk to friends about my problems a lot. i’m pretty logical and good at problem solving so a lot of people come to me for advice. i’m two years into studying for a psychology degree. i’m not super ambitious i don’t think and mostly just go with the flow and work to take care of the people i’m closest to.

i’d consider myself a “fixer” type so usually i go for characters or even people irl that struggle with different things, usually feel unloved to some capacity, because i want to show them love and care that they probably haven’t had before and make things better for them. i care about the people i love more than absolutely anything.

usually i go for girls that are cute and kind of anxious because i like taking care of people and making them feel safe. for guys i either like sweet “boy nextdoor” types or guys who are like . really messed in the head that i can take care of and be that special someone to them.

i hope this is ok i’ve never done this before !!!! you can message me if you had other questions or if i messed up on anything @heartsona

Your Genshin match is....Furina!

First of all, she's your type. She's nervous, she's cute, she's unstable and she needs help. When she falls she falls hard and does her best to make herself look worthy. That's why someone like you, who'd reassure her and show her real love would be so fitting.

Furina isn't easy to read. Just like you she doesn't open up easily. There's a high chance you'll open up before her! She likes how logical you are as you help her keep her head on her shoulders. She knows she can count on you and it makes her feel so happy to finally have a rock to rely on during her hardships. When you finally talk about your own problems she'd be so happy as it's a big step for you. She may not give the best solutions but she's the best support you could ask for.

Your couple is a rather cute one. Here you have one that's as cool as a cucumber and then the short one that's basically a ticking bomb with many layers. Seems dysfunctional but it actually works very well. Furina likes exploring Fontaine with you and doing all the things she couldn't do while she was an archon. You two are gonna have a lot of fun and just as she'd learn to heal you'll learn to love.

Your HSR match is....Blade!

The embodiment of honey I'm back from the psych ward. You really like your degree don't you? Do you like math? They also have a lot of problems...Anyways back to the main topic I choose Blade because he is your type. But also a real challenge cuz he wants to stay messed up.

Blade is difficult as he doesn't really strive to better himself. You'd have to leggit fistfight him for it. But once he finds someone he wants to settle with he'd calm down and accept to get some help. You'd be the only person he'll confide in so I hope you're ready.

Despite all of this, Blade does his best to be a loving boyfriend. He'd express it through actions like remembering your favorite things and being your personal bodyguard. He's always here to listen but he's not that good at comforting. It's a rather new situation for it and he feels guilty that you got a cursed being like him....yeah I hope you're a good fixer.

#matchups #match ups #genshin impact #honkai star rail

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only-lonely-lovers · 8 months

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08.18.2022

tags: masturbation, dubcon(?), caretaking, possessive language

notes: I think a lot of this one was us laying around in bed texting each other and it shows... w

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

あ：Anyways I was thinking rly hard about… uhh… I liked a lot when Avvy proposed Amane having been incepted sexuality due to Yashiro so commencing jerkoffs and being distracted and this being a new thing. Tsukasa observing this like oh……. kawaii…. something new. It can't be sad that Amane is attempting to be secretive and hide stuff even though they do absolutely everything together. Thinking about them outright sharing a bedroom and 1 bed. kinda deal.

Somehow its novel and cute to Tsukasa that Amane would be shy about something with him. Since when, you know? Amane is a shy person but there's nothing he's actually embarrassed about around Tsukasa… is full autisms and can be as rude and wordless as possible, doesn't hide his interests. So any sense of Amane sequesting into the bathroom for periods of times or, when Tsukasa runs an errand and comes back he can hear Amane shuffling quickly in the bedroom. This just makes Tsukasa get good at coming home worldessly. Presses ear to door. Oh. the sounds of jerkoff. naruhodo

Does this ritualistically. It's kind of fun. New Amane sounds just dropped and all that.

つ：It would just be cute… not offensive or saddening at all.

あ：I think Tsukasa is perceptive enough to quickly deduce who and what is prompting this. And is perfectly calm and ready for Amane explaining Yashiro-san wants to visit. Hmm yes… let me meet her…

つ：amane having a new feeling that he is embarrassed offffff

あ：Ah the more i wrote… the more this was really just a perfect sunshine-amatsuka fusion… But that was kind of cozy feeling to get to imagine

つ：It seems like a nice cozy place to beeeee no challenges. Some spice as tsukasa knows magics and nene is some new Magic’s user And amane just a nerd between these

あ：This really is a tsukasa who goes to get groceries and is like 🎵🎶 about it monitors my boy with spells

つ：Give me the little list of nuts and bolts🔩 you need

あ：I think its so. sedates you puts you into bed. when you need it.

つ：An equivalent of koku joudai if amane is super stressed before a tourney it’s like❤️ sleep

あ：Yes. oh dont worry sweetie. i learnt it all for you

つ：I’ll sing that song you like so much (It is a spell)

あ：So… Yashiro does come over. And the vibes are weird. She is like all thotted up but has to have this emotion like ah… tsukasa-kun. (doesnt resent you BUT. idk how to think about the thing you did last year or w/e) but Tsukasa is just pleasant. I'm bringing you guys tea. its cool.

At some point leaves them alone for a bit and monitors via magic. Oh i look into my crystal ball yk whatever. And I think Amane is like… very shut down and overwhelmed by the, pheromones, and the way he hasn't been actually feeling better over time. He's really perplexed by wanting to spend time with Yashiro, the urge itself is enigmatic and conflicting with his skills. aversions. but here he is allowing it. But i was cumrotted so yk It's as extreme as being ROCK HARD when she is right next to you and talking to you and wordlessly staring at the space between your feet and deathgripping legs. Nene sees this and is like ',' [brain falls out head]

but this Nene having more confidence and sluttiness is funn i think her stupid braindead thirst (the way she is like. a girl can have multiple guys as a treat ❤ during the event) means she just tries to be like ah… Amane-kun

… how are you feeling… [touches his chest] is this-? Good… are you having… fun? Do you. Like this…?

つ：Poor Amane’s life was so easy before

あ：Hand lowers… she strokes over his belly.

But this makes. Amane have a panic attack and run into the bathroom and close the door harshly. fwmp. and Tsukasa is like kyaa. oh… Amane!!! the way you definitely do want this… but run away from it!! So interesting. [didnt intervene when he could] You deserve to be bothered a little i think. awwwwww….

Returns into the scene. Nene isnt like made of steel she IS. embarrassed. face hot. apologetic, sorry Amane-kun went… I think he… I…

つ：Nene is a human being!!

あ：but Tsukasa is like ahh daijoubu daijoubu its fine Nene-chan. Ohhh he gets like that. ^^ You stay here. one sec… Peeks in. heyyy my shawnster…

He is comically like. Shivering and hiding behind a toilet like a scared cat. Standing up though. boner visible. Tsukasa is like [closes eyes and inhales.]

(duhh my notes.. one sec. im gonna just look)

"Is something the matter, Amane?"

As always, it takes Amane time to deliberate and reply, but you're never frustrated with him. You relish in getting to watch his fretful eyes tilt downward, his nervous hands clasp and squirm. You couldn't fathom rushing him. You wait patiently. Amane holds his arms and and waits quietly – you rush into them, clutch him close, and close your eyes as he nuzzles your shoulder.

"… I… want… to have sex," Amane finally breathes. He clutches you tighter. "With… Yashiro-san."

"Ah, I see, I see. That's very new and interesting, Amane. I'm happy you told me." You nod in understanding, genuinely proud at Amane for finally being able to say it. "If you ask me, I think Nene-chan would be more than happy to."

"I don't want to be alone though. I want you there."

You take a deep, deep breath.

"Really…?"

"Mhm." his hair brushes your cheek as he nods.

It's been a while since you've felt so humbled to be included with something of Amane's. You were used to doing everything for him, with him, but you would have been understanding if he pursued this girl without you. But dear sweet Amane wanted you, even here. You sway, side to side, nuzzling against him. Amane's hips jitter as you do – oh! … still excited… You stroke his back.

"Of course, Amane. You tell me anything you want me to do. Where to be, where to touch… I can even move Nene-chan for you, get her ready… anything."

Kshfhd its all like. accepts everything very immediately sure i will get you to fuck her. ohhhh i get to be there? yes.

つ：Walks out the bathroom holding hands

あ：Both of you acting like space aliens admittedly. there's not really any sense of deliberating on… emotional closeness… Amane is just crystalizing that he wants this thing and Tsukasa is like , and so, it shall be

No proper anything… I'll get your dick wet sweetie…

つ：It’s like… does amane try to explain or tsukasa. It’s cute either way. Amane like. Yashiro-san. I’m sorry, I know it’s weird. So I get it if you don’t. Want to. Do anything. But. If we d. If we do. If we do anything I. I want. Tsu… kasa…. With…. Us…. or else. I’ll. Rrun away. Again and. Again

(Tsukasa wiggling fingers at nene and looking a little apologetic) Feeling on cloud 9 though

あ：I think as Amane speaks, he sometimes gets so shut down he actually just needs to dictate to Tsukasa what comes next. soo like… step 1 is actually walking out together and telling Tsukasa the living room area is scary and it needs to be in the bedroom. comfort space. and with like nearby stuffies or something excessive like that. pls… and so Tsukasa is like ohmm Nene-chan this way, let's talk more in the bedroom ^^ and she's like o. kay.

つ：Thats so like. Fear Ok The want for the dick I hope tsukasa doesn’t turn me inside out

あ：It's fear inducing. also you walk into their room and see its 1 bed. and this is definitely the 1 bedroom in this dorm actually. ok Like whatever

つ：Yashiro quietly says naruhodo

あ：But itd be cute if then Amane could be like im. do wanna. i do wanna. Do it

つ：Amane voice: but there’s something wrong with me

あ：I need help Tsukasa, really laying it on. I'm just here for moral support. Rubs his shoulders

つ：Yashiro: ah… I could… I mean if it’s just help I know what I’m — amane: nnnnnnnn (tugs tsukasa) Tsukasa: ^^ …my help is needed. Sorry, nene-chan. I won’t do anything if you don’t agree. (… unless amane asks me too lol❤️)

あ：Teehee

つ：Think of me as… a security blanket! That’s all!

Yashiro looking at two boys on the bed. Brain begins to melt Tsukasa like mmm… well… you’re already like this…. (Guides amane to lean back to show off tent more lol)

あ：It's a lot like. To submit to. But I think she'd genuinely feel too awkward to bow out in a way. As overwhelming as it is. Oh Amane-kun is so sweet. His… beseeching gaze. His. cock is right there also. To leave him so snubbed. When you do want it.

Tsukasa is intimidating but in a sultry way. like shahgdgdfhgI did imagine it being very much like. presents Unzips his pants. Releases from boxers

つ：He is clutching tsukasas arms like hiding behind one a lil Skrunky…. Let the scent waft to nene lol

Tsukasa also gets to be like. Eyes widen a little AH ITS STRONG LOL I’m always getting the after breeze left in the bedroom Oh the source is much more potent… HAS THE RESOLVE OF A DEMON TO NOT GO CRAZY

あ：The cute thing is Tsukasa himself experiencing stuff for first time gets vertigo for a second. OH keep it together

つ：Linger hands near him for longer than he intended… it’s so warm. Smiles at nene

(… I will hurt amane a little) Nene-chan… don’t you think it looks nice…..? Ah…. And this scent in the air~

Nene: 💭YOU CANT JUST SAY IT LIKE THAT

あ：Like heuugjvjfh!!!!

つ：WHAT THE FUCK!!!! Dhdududkdjdhdhdj

あ：Coughs Ah…….. s.. souuu….

つ：Amane like dndjdjd tsukasa—!!

あ：You need Tsukasa here to be like why don't you come closer… dont be shy Come see… it's nicer up close

つ：Despite all her bravado, is shy and slow up close It’d be different if she was alone…

But being watched… she’s suddenly aware amane is very delicate, isn’t he…

あ：Perhaps Tsukasa nerfs her in a way that puts her on Amane's level

つ：Always thought of him as a mundane amount of shy… but… … he’s actually very unusual…

あ：Forced to contemplate the boy

つ：Does he really need something like this….? Tsukasa-kun…. Do you. Uhm. Do you always… help .p. Ah

Like this? …. No…. This is both our first time seeing this, nene-chan

あ：A fun question for a girl to be made to ask herself.

… I was thinking about Tsukasa being as excessive though as. like pulling back foreskin to show off (edited)

つ：Mm a good time to pull it back …. And (TRYING NOT TO BREATHE HEAVILY) Amane’s first time feeling, (pulls….) this…. Nene shuddering. Jesus Lights popping in eyes

あ：Fweeeewww… its hot in here. the humidty is spiking. your pussy is on fire etc.

つ：Delicately places for fingers along shaft…. Nene does. Simply crosses over tsukasas to the head….

あ：Amane whimpers… It's genuinely a lot… I think he is not used to being touched by other people. let alone in this context. Your body is like a liiittle fearful of something unfamiliar. But girl hand… lovely to feel, atop it all. but it's so good it's alarming. (jitters.) I sorry. amane. but the Tsukasa commentary track is like oh he liked that. keep goinggg

つ：Fluster nene and amane both…. I imagine tsukasa is the icebreaker always chatting during

あ：Yeah i think its kind of an instinct keep a dialogue going to fill in space. he is used to little or no response.

つ：Girl’s hands are soft, aren’t they, amane? Hehe…. Gently leaves cock to pet his hair and rub his knuckles

あ：maybe ask Nene if its HER first time… (bc Amane would like that…!)

つ：She’d get so WHY PUT ME ON BLAST But just mentally Take a SECOND.

あ：He is GOING to put you on blast.

つ：Squinch brows… Wiggle mouth….

Think about how girls should maintain mystique… but… sees little amane all. Small and shy and. Urhgg

あ：Amane peers an eyeball at peeky

つ：Y. Yeah. It’s. My first time. With anyone. Doing anything. Like. This

あ：His.. eyes lid. shudders Tsukasa gets to be like hueheueu yayy he likie… Oh! … Amane likes that.

つ：Tsukasa kind of mentally like ah thank god nene if you had nonvirgin hands….! Knows what Amane wants and wishes for him to have it all

あ：That would be too sad. i would. maybe have to erase that from Amane's memories. 💔

つ：The real option In reality I will fix this if you fuck up I will never put my amane at risk….

あ：Nene this far into the experience does have to be thinking 💭 this doesnt quite feel like… he is JUST a security blanket

つ：She is ignoring feeling a nonzero amount about it For NOW

I think nene has the power to start jerking him off….

あ：Yus i did think she would pick up the ball. Tsukasa presents but Nene does not leave anyone hanging Genuine lust takes over. the boy is warmmmm and so boy.

つ：You get a nice rhythm going…. Tsukasa keeps his hands busy here and there

Fixes hair, flattens some wrinkles in shirt, does the usual preening to make amane feel it’s not so different Something new, and stuff familiar

Enables amane to get comfortable a bit… subconsciously can relax more… less tense ball and more… bumping into hand

あ：Make it as easy for him as possible, ease him into it. Doesn't have to be as tucked away. steals glances at Yashiro and what she is doing. Mhmhnhn…. it is… nice. It's better than. jerking off.

つ：Tugs at tsukasa and mutters at him shakily. Tsukasa stifles. Shuddering feeling the heat of his face so near and what he’s asking…. Which is just for him to please thank nene… Like tell her she’s doing good

あ：Yes your majesty hhhhh

つ：just shy like nnoooo she’s doing me a ffffavorr

Nene-Chan (WAS STARING AT COCK FORGOT TSUKASA WAS THERE FLINCHES) Amane wants to thank you…. it’s very nice, how you’re willing to help…. You really do want to do this, don’t you? It’s fun for you, isn’t it? Amane isn’t being selfish…. This is actually (can’t control voice getting heavy finally) very generous of him, right? To let you do this.

あ：Oh the room just feels like it keeps getting hotter

つ：Amane staring. Not what he asked you to say…

あ：Overwhelmed to hear Tsukasa implicate that, oh i think his little brain is like. noo. that's not what i saidjfhfhg… like gets caught up in a technicality. why would Tsukasa say something different though he is here to help me… [CANNOT. SPEAK THO.] But also why does this make my cock shudder a little

つ：Don’t you feel…. Lucky…?

Nene who has been broken a bit: h. HAI!!!! I AM— LUCKY!!! JERKS FAST

あ：aAAHHH!!

つ：AMANE-KUN HHHARDLY TALKS TO, ANYBODY!! SO… it’s!!! It IS ! Special!

Tsukasa watching. Ooouuuu Likes what he sees in you….

あ：This is where its fun. like. the noncon potential Just a touch actually Despite everything

つ：Yosh Ah…. Nene-Chan really understands❤️ Holds Amane more firmly….

あ：Amane genuinely so like, not ready for feeling this, gasps. F-fast!! ssscary. trying to inch away. but i think it just reads the same as his bumps into hand Tries to tug Tsukasa like a lifeline

つ：Touches forehead toooooo for a second Inhales your exhale quietly mmmm

あ：Sigh. the…. kind of choking sounds… made when the sensations get scary. lots of choking vocalizations like breaking off. mgh - gh -- hhgh- nhh

つ：So interesting….

あ：Cock is evil though it works against you. it does want to push up. i think sometimes cock wants shove, while hips and body want FLEE… you get these broken little jitters

つ：Tsukasa suddenly reaches forward and grabs nene’s shirt front. Drags her body forward

That’s not all you came here for And that’s not all amane needs you to do

Her hand lets go in the shock…. A nice momentum bounce of cock in the open air

あ：Nice cinematography.

Amane who doesnt know about anything beyond what is happening in this immediate moment. no idea where we're going. his brains are already melted out his ears… just continuously tugs Tsukasa’s sweater, waiting to be understood

つ：Just before Amane can whine for the lack of contact, or move, tsukasa swaddles cock in his free hand as if he’s coddling it Like keep it warm while they work this out

あ：Shushed

つ：I don’t think Amane’s first time should be finishing in your hand, don’t you agree? Don’t you want something more special? Of course you do! DRAGS ONTO HIS CHEST

He’s been finishing into his own hand so much, nene-Chan! Thinking about this!

Amane wants to “do it”. Of course! So badly.

あ：Dizzying to hear… disorienting, for both Amane and Nene. This way that Tsukasa can suddenly feel omnipotent You know everything…

つ：Yashiro very dizzy, yes… dumbly nodding and panting loudly… plants a palm on his chest Well, she was well prepared…. No panties

あ：A girl wants what she wants…

つ：As she gets a hand between her legs… tsukasa observes. holds Amane ready… A situation of nene lowering over while tsukasas hand gradually recedes

あ：It is all for this... Tsukasa assisting in the line up and all. Watching it happen...

つ：Enjoying each second… amane is dying. But I’d like it to be that warm PUSSY GOOD SHOVES

あ：Yess

つ：Activate sleeper cell

あ：Hehhe yes … actually part of the. cumrot was the thought that while deep into this Amane would actually become insatiable. like he has no self control!!!! cant!!!!!! its actually like oh god dont STOP ffffucks like a cylinder

つ：Yossshhh autistic grip SITS UPRIGHT Make Yashiro shriek

あ：Mmm delightfully scary. pivot

つ：Tsukasas propeller hat spins

あ：Shahshdhh. HELLO handsome the emotion Tsukasa experiences

つ：makes tsukasa very very excited childlike

あ：manic...

つ：AMANE HAHAHAH❤️ HUGSSSSSS SQUEEZES NUZZLES NUZZLES NUZZLES

あ：Amane amane amannnyyeeehh

つ：Yashiro processes that— not a tsukasa she has ever seen Giggling kicking around Really nuzzling into his hair….

あ：You're doing so good!! Amane!!!! breathless

つ：She’s being. Jostled sf hard. Bed is shaking

あ：Holding on for dear life. rghgjfh trapped in this crazy room it feels like

つ：Would love Amane to manage to pivot to pushing her backwards on the bed and hammering Brain is only composed of. AND IWANT HARDERR

あ：I wanted the sex Everyone was patient for me now im ready wanted to FUCK you i understand now

つ：Understand how fuck works It’s all too clear

It is the wacky shack as tsukasa is just like dhdudjdbdhdjdndjdj hehehehehehehehe Lehhlleheleehll I’ll make you guys dinner after thisdss

NENE-CHAN GOOD GIRL!! PETS HER TOO She’s drooling. Delirious can’t see

あ：Its like ah. the beautiful parallel in how Amane is like any other TL of Amane in that. he functionally is going to treat you the same, like, piece of meat, hes not SOCIAL he doesnt have manners.

つ：It’s just shy though. Not even polite really It’s disarming but says nothing of his selflessness

あ：nnnno. just shy. he's not. respectful I do think Tsukasa completes the energy by being so mmm yes yes yes ohhh look at him go its a faaaaaast car Love you baybbieeeee

つ：You feel the most degraded in a funny way Yashiro finally feeling like. This novelty. But she’s such a slut this AU she loves the sensation Come to this dorm to get manhandled by twins

あ：She is the pussy in the room Finally… what a girl has been seeking

つ：dragged over cock and instructed what to do. It’s her own awakening

Thought she was— a forward, sortof dominating type Idealistically imagined herself that way. But it’s not what she wants In her heart this is, perfect… shoved and pushed

あ：Even assuming her preference for Amane-kun came packaged with wanting to mess with a shy feeble boy yk

つ：Your crazy girl Schtick

あ：So endeared was she. but like. experiencing him rail her. makes her go oh. Its sfffff hot… if he is like this. about me

つ：If that’s what’s inside amane-kun….

あ：Amane-kun who can barely look up from his fiddling… his projects…

つ：Ah a nice situation of tsukasa and Yashiro calling his name in an easy back and forth Tsukasa kickstarts it being himself Yashiro follows the addictive lead

あ：Ahh kawaii kawaii… It seems like it feels good to do

つ：Amane scrambling about

あ：The incentive is feeling his cock respond inside her. fweee….

つ：Ahhhh the chorus

あ：it feels good to be a girl in a moment like this

つ：Epic feelings I think the nut moment is scary Like grabs so so hard Congeals in his virgin pea brain🧠IT CAN GO INSIDE

あ：I WANT IT i do think its a real jfc… amane… digs nails in… trying to hold you down so hard It must go in and stay in

つ：Gotta unload I think Tsukasa is beyond sane helping he’s like on his back arms wrapped around Amane somewhere flopped kicking around

あ：Ehehehee

つ：WOOOOO HES SO FREE AHHHHH OOOO

あ：Its cute. he is a fairly responsible composed boy in the grand scheme of things. made excited by Amane's own liberation uuouuuuu i love you

Amane is so cool!!! Amane is sooo capable… Amane is soo special!

つ：Amane does everything amaasziiiinnggfgly

あ：[pants] Amane should get everything he wants

つ：All this and then once he finishes it’s like. WHEEZE and tsukasa has to be like— AHHH RUNS OUT OF BED TRIPS FALLS ON FACE GETS YOU GETS INHALER

あ：kdfjhfdh my boy fuck whens the last time he drank water

つ：puts it in Amane’s mouth RUNS GETS WATER!!! Yashiro is blearily watching laid out

あ：Yashiro witnissing this. in a delirium like….❔

つ：You want like a kinda fussy Amane here honestly Like mmmmmn… squints

あ：lmaoo yes… like .. ugh.. TOO HOT … rips sweater off makes pissy sounds

つ：tsukasa helping When it gets stuck

あ：Throws it on the ground

つ：Fully removes Amane’s belt Knowing he disprefers it but wanted to look nice for this date Yashiro is still watching. What am I seeing

あ：What the…

つ：Amane, I can start a bath…. You got pretty sweaty, right?

あ：Grunts Its unflattering like ugh yeah

つ：I’ll go start it. Bows to nene. Leaves room She’s like wtf am I…. Seeing…. I do not understand the dynamic here actually

あ：I want Nene to spend like 24 hrs rly having bits and pieces load in for her You thought you understood but its like. [remembers this thing and this other detail and ???]

gonna later be like. wait. tsukasa being all…. we're lucky… and… amane should have whatever he wants… what I thought Amane was just a lonely boy but. IDK anymore do lonely people get dinner made for them ? Tsukasa has put on rice immediately

So funny for Amane to be so into routine and being taken care of he doesnt. offer yashiro much. at the end of this. like i need my bath… shuffles off

You know is like. Thank you I liked it

つ：Ah it’s funny. Yeah.

あ：Rubs mouth.

つ：She’s like. I did. T-too. You— you were impressive.

あ：Really [shuff shuff…]

つ：I didn’t think it’d … be like that

あ：shrugs

つ：Tsukasa though I do think would… like to usher her out Im sorry my boy has a timer

あ：Sorry darling

つ：He needs his routines again…. very cordial

あ：Baby simply needs his juice

つ：Nene-Chan❤️ Thank you for being so understanding. You’re a brave girl! That was so fun. Amane really surprised us, didn’t he…? He’s…. Incredible.

(Amane in the bg tugging his socks off) Like nyeh….

あ：Foosi

つ：Nhguh

あ：stupid socks…

つ：Can’t get these jeans off fast enough

あ：That water better be ready for me

つ：The shitty afterglow Fsr true for amane

あ：Smells self. ugh Too much smells

つ：Kind of an annoyed voice… tsukasaaa…. It’s like whip cracks in brain WELL! ILL CALL YOU SOON NENE-CHAN, OKAY? I’ll get your number from Amane!

あ：Until then. Bye bye

つ：We’ll talk soon, ok? Byeeeeeeee

あ：nene like. will we i guess we will.

つ：Amane has literally never answered his phone for her

あ：He doesnt do that.

つ：It’s an emergencies thing really Nene walking home feeling many things. Much to think about. Feeling good though.

あ：Well. it was weird. but it wasnt bad.

つ：So strange.

あ：Ummm its complicated. Aha.

つ：…. What on earth will tsukasa and amane do now H-he said he never did that to him before….

あ：Is their relationship going to… change…? …. did it… change… did i see it change?

Somehow its truly more challenging than if Tsukasa has always been jerking off Amane. why now

つ：I do like to think it’ll be normal up until Amane gets a boner again in the night and his brain is like. Wait Bodies

あ：I can get

つ：Can be used for goods and services

あ：I can make Yes… i did. imagine a follow up. which is later like tugs. wordlessly. drags your face down

tsukasa part 2. oh…… are you sure….. … this is funnily enough perhaps the 1 amane that would be like. theres no reason to not ask Tsukasa. as the guy who already takes care of every single one of my needs

Cannot resist the simplicity of Tsukasa taking care of a chubby in the middle of the night sorta deal dont. wanna jerkoff anymore. is the thing. it doesnt feel as good. and rly didnt like having to evade Tsukasa for a sense of privacy. … but now there's no reason to…

As always I think there's just a different vibe. To Amane wordlessly grabbing Tsukasa’s face and rubbing cock over cheeks, pushing against lips. mnnn… dont have to overthink it… shoves… and Tsukasa is just like despite everything humbled , bc again, not assuming it actually has anything to do w him and already geared to think it was just a matter of being useful as an assistant

つ：Pleasaaaant… a silent graciousness

I also like humping tsukasa in the day… and tsukasa like aaaaa dials nene while this is happening Nene-chaaaaaaaan how about another date? Amane misses you….

あ：kawaii. yeah humping could become such a thing… very easy to do the feeling is like. ouhhmmm… im his binkie rn. he is becoming, incessant ❤ fun. but like. HELP! lol.

つ：Tsukasa for this is like mmm I wonder how long this will go on…. Will he get burnt out on it? Satiated? Okay and accepting if after a week he calms down with him…

But I think it just gets. Worse The more often it can just be like ughhhgh Puts hand on

あ：Not even needing to say anything

つ：COMES back from ROBOT SHOW throws BACKPACK on the ground grumbling STOMPs autistically to bedroom Drops pants

あ：counting the seconds. until you Its like mmghfh… suddenly too autistic for my autisms. like the tourneys ar elike. fucking annoyinggg gbdhfhf

つ：Being so like emotional tho at the show like. I miss tsukasa so much…. I wish he was here and not busy at his schooling… it’s so much easier with him

It’s so hard… (comes home and behaves uhgratefully despite this) The weight of the backpack and the journey home eroded him

あ：Get less grateful by the second. as you approach the door i WANT MY SLAW.

つ：I have to calm DOWN!!!

あ：opens the front door. moans. Tsukasaaaaa (edited) drops my shit kicks off my shoes

つ：Skitters. Another result of this situation is this tsukasa losing grace and returning to some regression

あ：Youre really shaking his pea around in there really bring out the. amane amane!!!! mode

つ：Slides into room

あ：The seamlessness of fullbody hugs and wraps legs around. and then gets leaned onto a surface

つ：Aoaaooooho

あ：Indeed it does just get. worse. for a while i think its a real. like. legs and spine getting fucked up. situation losing hours

つ：Ah novel to see. Tsukasa truly losing his grace in this AU

あ：kawaii...

つ：Nene is like. It’s a little like. …. Living with amane seems like. …. I’m not ready Yet For that

あ：It seems. a bit dangerous chotto abunai yo…

つ：But I will be… some day

あ：Its like a prospective future

つ：Dating is what it is, for now

あ：but. intimidating. I. if he would really fuck me. all day . ah You know its like. becomes collected at the thought. BUT…. FOR NOW. WAITS.

つ：One loves to have a future to dream about Tsukasa walks into a door

あ：I think he has 0 graces fingering like it is. a lobotomizes you situation

つ：These fine motor skills

あ：Like jesus its actually more brutal if he fingers Lances you

つ：It will be much worse. Give nene my multiple day long stabbing pain that nothing can make you forget or ignore

あ：Serious business

つ：I think she’s a bit more of a pansy than me though No offense nene

あ：She's cute like that It's a lot to ask of a normal girl

つ：It’s good to make a girl suffer, too

あ：Yes Truly suffering for this boy

つ：The extreme masochism is for Tsukasa

あ：Souls are divided in this way

つ：But Nene can appreciate it like a loyal gf of an abusive boyfriend The Pride

あ：It's like a medal she gets to display on the wall of her mind later I really will. Let Amane. Do things to me. heep. but i love the thought of like. willfully deciding you must let tsukasa bear the burdens im normal i am trying to study

つ：Some of that energy. Must be burnt off

あ：The girl talk is as stimulating as ever under these conditions Its fun though i like to think Nene has to be a little bit like. drools. hearing about Amane needing an hour long blowjob

つ：I think this situation cumrots nene I think it’s going to get heinous

There will come a day Nene is laying in bed and she finally congeals TWINCEST IS HOT!!!! OKAY!!! FINE I CANT IGNORE IT FOREVER DO THEY WANT ME TO FIND ITHOT?

but I think the final form is tsukasa noticing and it’s surprise part 2 like awe What first amane likes me here…. Now nene thinks I am a sexy element?

あ：What the h*ck… Even a frog in a well like me…

つ：

Wants to watch ME blow amane…. But it’s inviting the devil into your house he’s going to send you videos out of nowhere or something

あ：you think to yourself that you're nothing special woof That is a problem

つ：Catch on to nene’s fetishistic interest and be like titling them deranged things like ❤️do you think I’m a good little brother?

あ：LOOKS AROUND LIKE THE POLICE WILL FIND HER

If nene understands she kickstarted Amane's sexuality then this would feel like such a corruption like her sick desires lead them all heor What did I bring out in these BOYS…

つ：Did I ruin a pair of siblings

あ：They were just normal…. er… well… sort of normal siblings before. They werent fucking all week at least. jesus

i kind of both like the thought of Tsukasa covertly filming but also clearly prompting Amane to hold camera suddenly in the middle of something

つ：He’s got Hims spells fuckin invisible floating camera dgaf But it s also funny to just do it some time despite this capability to utterly hide it

あ：Yes doing both. www. just cuz its fun to see Amane's reaction I think hes like umgh…. ……… but i do want it Frustrated and feeling owned

つ：Adjusts the camera like a nerd

あ：Oh fiddling. fussing about angles.

つ：Really enjoys watching through camera

あ：but its moe. like something Amane does that Tsukasa wouldn't think to or account for is reach down and even direct Tsukasa's face this way and that… entranced.. Slows pace…

つ：Get weirder about touching cock on

あ：I think you can rly get a sense for how used to handling Tsukasa he is, like… the sheer ease of reaching and pulling, directing with harsh or more delicate touch. Tugs hair. pulls at skin around corner of eyes to make you look

The element where Amane definitely. isnt thinking abt this being sent to anyone I think it makes him look like an absolute madman

つ：Moving like alien The free spirited in his natural habitat I think eventually tsukasa can do weird shit alone with Amane like subject him to some spell but only after he’s so. Spoiled and cumbrained that he gives in to some temptation

あ：Liberated at last..

Tsukasa is willing to fux with Amane a BIT as it is. but i think something earnest for his own enjoyment with Just Amane takes a higher power level Thats so directed and not wanton for the lulz yk

つ：A lot of being cum slave for a month

あ：Has been comed on and in for so long its like.

つ：It would have to be studying some stuff time and reading a spell and lingering for a long time

あ：Hair messier, clothes all fucked up. twiddles my wand in my hand. a treat for me. maybe

つ：But ah with failsafes in place… I just like the idea of manually stripping away the inhibitions with a spell to parse the raw most urge

But it should just be getting insanely violent And rambling like a maniac

あ：Functionally makes like that botion that Hakubo gives to Aoi

つ：The autism ruins Amane for talking much at all but override the stoppers…. Nyaaa. A temporary version of that But you just get a very ah. YOU BELONG TO ME!!!!

あ：your body my property. ohhh it pours out… The entitled heart…

How unfathomably special, at the center of this all. Quiet little Amane, doted on and tended to. Feeling, not just, gratitude, but a sense of divine entitlement. Reference your history… YOU'VE BEEN MINE FROM THE START

つ：Expoooose the entitlement!!! That he is obligated….

あ：I'm going to make sure you never leave me

Oh sigh… i think for Amane there's almost so many feelings and thoughts unsaid it leaps out of him messily, daisy-chained thoughts

I'm, I'm tired of going places alone I can't do it. I WONT anymore Why should I?? Why do you let me Tsukasa!!

つ：LOOKING DEVASTATED I— I won’t! Then! I’ll — can go everywhere with you…. Feeling out of breath to hear and seeeeee

あ：In a straddled sort of pose… Amane could bear weight heavily, hands on sternum

Eugghh but it could b so insane… grabbing something to use as makeshift rope… tying Tsukasa's arms. or forming a noose around neck

つ：SCREAAA

あ：Scary

つ：ah at some point it has to be like FREEZES TIME SHUDDERS AND WAILS ON THE FLOOR FOR A MINUTE

Ok. Time to reverse the effects I’ve learned What I wanted to

あ：I. asked for it

つ：I just wanted to know if Amane… really wanted me… here With everything changing…. if he’d run out the door or… Whatever he wanted… I just wished to know Whatever came out…! Whether it was simple or complex or about me or not

あ：A sense of obligation almost you know…? Enough time passed and you wanted to know what Amane was thinking… about any of this

admittedly Tsukasa would be like. Nevermind. if nene doesnt think she is ready for something. i need to know if Amane is coping with… not having something

Could I be doing more for you… But then its like. a. i. suppose. the answer was yes

つ：Was failing my boy Tsukasa simply wants to please him… To the utmost

あ：I arrange your tater tots in a little galaxy just to make you happy

つ：As his pleasures have been escalating… but have somewhat platuead… needed to know if force was needed It’s so like so help me I would subject nene to any spell

あ：if roachie could really ask you what you wanted there's no Tsukasa ready to be so specifically wanted… its like… how… why… It came out so… unlike anything ever before

つ：Demanding more… wanting no separation I will make it so…. kisses head of frozen in place amane

あ：This has to be such a. sleeps you. cleans up. puts you to bed is somber pets my guy

つ：Contemplates steps patiently

#22 #TS

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blondrichclosetwitch · 1 year

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Once you've sought the path of revenge, there's no way to stop

Do you have any crimes that we can use to pass the time? I'm running out of drugs to try

“I had an early death.” (:16/:03)

Consciousness Expansion

I went home with the waitress, the way I always do

I'm the innocent bystander

Somehow I got stuck between the rock and a hard place

Send lawyers, guns, and money

The shit has hit the fan

You’ve got to make him express himself

Killing time won't stop this crying

He got knocked down leaving like he ran into a clothesline and remembered a couple of words that hid a crime

You want to make love to the scene

You'd better say so long

Your clowns bid you goodbye

Did you ever see the faces of children? They get so excited

Tommy, can you hear me?

Just ten years ago, people, what I would do…no one would ever know

Sorry don’t make it right

What a sad trick you thought that you had to play

The youth are starting to change; are you?(:39/:09)

and now I'm scarred for life, I don’t ever want to fall in love again

I know your secrets

“So what?”

You wear guilt

Like shackles on your feet

I can feel the discomfort…and in your head, it's worse

“And when our worlds they fall apart, when the walls come tumbling in…

Though we may deserve it, it will be worth it.”

The son so sweet

I would like to find the answers I was always rudely denied

The Divine Masculine

You were staring down the street cause you were trying not to crack up

A needle in a doll

“They start to make sense the longer I'm at it.”

And l am the fish

It’s a possibility to live without lips

But my wrists couldn’t stand the life that we missed (I have constantly seen bloody wrists (specifically the right wrist) popping up in my mind lately, I just was remarking on it this morning, probably someone’s suicidal ideation…but that number is not listed below)

I’m still your fag

You wouldn't believe what I've been through

Alone ain’t no fun so you’re looking for the thrill

It's no fun when the rabbit got the gun

I'm insane; are you entertained?

“It's become a habit, a way to start the day. I go through all this before you wake up.” (I hear this as being said to one of the male counterparts; and fwiw, I wake up a lot at 5 or 6 am in pain, and can feel that our anti-heroine is doing something, whether it’s doll-related or whatever )

(I’m stopping at 3:39 btw tooooo time consuming )

Hey you little assholes who burned off Ganesha’s tusk in 2017? And especially the short little lady whose idea was it? Ganesha does not forget.

You really should have researched the statue you were ruining before fucking with it.

Two surgeries this year, right? Karma

Self-loathing poet

“It just felt so good.” (Where was I just reading about the best lay? Let’s leave it at that)

They never see it coming, what I do next

FOUR (that’s how they graffiti it, there’s some new ones on driggs and nassau on restaurant outside dining)

You'll write another one; now you've got a story that's worth talking about (the numbers for this fittingly are :22/:03)

Are you happy with yourself?

“We had a chance to change our minds.”

Stay on the scene like a sex machine

“Baby, forgive me.”

I wrote my first poem when I was 8 1/2

“…this breakthrough into very serious, very personal emotional experiences, experiences in a mental hospital interest me very much, experiences as a mother, as a mother who has had a nervous break down….they have an emotional and psychological depth.”

“It’s in a bit of a straitjacket if I may say so.”

“I believe one should be able to control and manipulate experiences, even the most terrifying….like madness, being tortured…these kind of experiences…with an informed and intelligent mind.”

Talk that talk, well now they all know your name

Everybody knows that you’re in trouble

“I’m a mix of God and monkey.”

#today is a 39 etc #sylvia plath

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ajwinter-is-a-nerd · 2 years

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Le Chat Et Le Serpent - Chapter 21

Please note that the entirety of this story is a ****TRIGGER WARNING***** - mentions of child abuse, graphic violence, alcohol use, mental health, suicide, suicidal ideation, self-harm - basically a constant blow of pain towards the characters - as well as some "steamier" moments.

Chapter Summary:

Okay, I did a theme again - for several reasons. Just fun with titles - the theme is green. Whether it's symbolism or actual descriptions for green - they're related somehow.

This is the aftermath of the funeral.

Chapter 21: Through Our Emerald Eyes

Emerald Eyes

Colette held her new grandson in her hands. His eyes were already lightning to the Graham De Vanilly shade of emerald. “Welcome to the world, you beautiful boy.”

Amelie’s sobs echoed through the delivery room.

The nurse leaned into the new mother, “You don’t have to do this, no one can force you to give up your child.”

“Unless there was a surrogate agreement.” Colette spoke, letting the nurse know that she could hear her.

“What kind of surrogate agreement involves the splitting of twins?” The nurse hissed.

“Know your place. This is family affairs.” Colette firmly stated as she continued to admire the young boy.

“This is reprehensible.” She huffed as she left them.

“It’s okay, little Felix, she doesn’t understand. You’re a very brave boy, you know that?” Colette whispered at the small bundle.

“Do… do we have to, Mother? They’re… they’re boys. That should be enough of a sign that the curse has been broken.” Amelie continued to tear as she held Adrien close to her chest.

“Amelie, they both carry Gabriel’s blood. They are making a sacrifice, just like you.”

“But I was the one who carried them! I felt them grow!” She shouted, choking on her tears.

“No. You have not worn the ring, so you don’t understand. You can’t feel the power from them.” Colette kept a soft tone as she began to rock the, now squirming, Felix.

“If the rings are gone, how can you still feel their power?” Amelie rubbed her cheek against Adrien’s.

“Because I know who is supposed to inherit which ring.” Cosette replied, as if they had obvious labels on their head.

“Which is why you want to take this sweet boy.” Amelie kissed Adrien’s forehead.

“Yes,” Cosette nodded in agreement. “An extra precaution, ensuring the son who lives with either of you is destined for the opposing ring.”

“Please, just, let me hold them both. Before Gabriel and Emelie come in.” Amelie raised an arm towards Felix.

With a sour face, Cosette passed Felix over to Amelie. She didn’t enjoy what they had to do. But she couldn’t bear her children making the same mistakes that she did.

Unsophisticated

The pendant on Felix’s shirt was glowing at the downfall of fierce negative emotions.

“Are you dumb and blind now, or what?” Lila pointed towards the Miraculous.

“Not today, Lila.” Felix warned.

“No, seriously, most of the brat pack is at that funeral. If you were going to have a real shot, now’s the time to do it.”

“Lila! I’m not having this conversation with you. I said no.” His voice grew louder.

“It’s been like, a year, since Daddy Dearest died. He should be over it by now.” She flipped her hair with her cruel words.

Felix pulled out the chair from under her, causing her to fall upon the floor. “Listen.” He bared his teeth as he neared her face. “Today is not the day. So shut the fuck up or get out.”

Lila whimpered as she shook, turning to Barkk for aid.

Barkk rolled her eyes before responding to Lila’s muted plea. “I’m not falling for that again, Lila.”

Immediately, Lila stopped quaking. “Fine. It is super rude to pull out the chair, though.” Lila pushed herself against Felix. “I’m just trying to make your dreams come true.” She pouted as she attempted to kiss him.

Normally, Felix would eagerly submit to her advances, but today was different. She filled the gap of human contact, but her vile personality had tainted her usefulness. At least for today.

A Verdant Moment

“You know, everyone is worried sick looking for you, Mr. Agreste.” Marinette calmed in the cooling sensation of the wet grass.

“Let them look a little longer.” Adrien wasn’t ready to face the crowd. He just wanted to disappear into the rain.

Marinette pulled his hand into hers. His touch eased her relapse symptoms. She hoped hers offered him any comfort.

“I keep wanting to just be mad at him.” Adrien spoke to the sky.

“It would be easier, if our hearts worked that way, wouldn’t it?” Marinette agreed. “My beautiful moment, of Gabriel Agreste, was when you wore the derby hat at the fashion show.”

“He loved your style. He was a hard man to please, you’re one of the few designers I ever heard him speak of.”

Marinette weakly smiled at his praise. “That wasn’t the moment I was talking about, though.” She squeezed his hand. “His first public appearance since your mother, and it was to give you a hug. It was… it was the most heartfelt moment I’ve ever been a part of.”

“I’m sorry I dropped your hat.” Adrien mused at the thought.

“I’d make one just to throw it in the fire if it meant you could have another moment like that.”

Adrien wasn’t sure if he was crying or not, that was one of the advantages of soaking in the rain. “People are worried about you too, Marinette. You know that?”

“A little bit of rain never hurt.” She attempted to divert his own deflection. She didn’t want to talk about herself. She’d done that enough over the past few months.

Adrien ran his thumb along her intertwined hand. “Are you still designing?”

His touch continued to apply aloe to her wounds. “I guess I got a little lost.” Her words whispered over the rhythmic drops.

“I need another designer.”

“Oh Adrien, don’t worry about that right now.” Marinette wanted to jump at the thought, but Adrien was not in the headspace to make such offers. Her guilt had already been returning twofold, she didn’t want to add kindling to the fire.

Adrien responded with a light hum, before losing himself within the comfort of rain once again.

Luka straightened his stance as he spotted the black figures within the yard. The ground sloshed under his shoes as he approached them.

The super team was frantically looking for Adrien within the house, he had been missing for almost an hour. None of them thought to check outside. But Marinette did. These were the moments that reminded him why Marinette was so important in Adrien’s life. She saw things from an angle others could not.

Luka laid on his back, his head between the pair, with his feet pointing in the opposite direction of theirs. The irony of their triangulated position was lost on them, their minds were focused on greater things. Adrien opened his eyes as Luka’s head weighed down the ground beside him.

“You found us.” He softly acknowledged Luka’s presence as he tilted his forehead to touch his.

“Hiding in plain sight. That was smart.” Luka warmly responded.

“Just a few more minutes?” Adrien asked permission.

“What do you think, Marinette?” Luka asked without moving his head, not wanting to separate from Adrien’s contact.

“Maybe a couple. And then we should get some hot chocolate.” Marinette confirmed. This was the most at ease she had felt in an eternity. She knew it had to end, but she wasn’t quite ready either.

“Okay.” Luka fell into the comforting silence with them.

When they returned to the house, Alya was quick to take care of Marinette. She wrapped a towel around the shivering girl while unintelligibly whispering.

“Can you grab me a hot chocolate? I just… I can’t handle people right now.” Adrien whispered to Luka, working to mask his shame.

“Of course, I’ll meet you upstairs.” Luka surveyed the route, any type of evasion would be difficult with the amount of guests present.

They both tried to stealth their movements, but the sloshing from their shoes further challenged their attempts.

Luka had barely reached the refreshment table by the time the sound flashing of cameras echoed through the room.

“Adrien?” “Hey Adrien, that was beautiful!” “Where are you going?” The mini mob hounded Adrien as he waded to the stairs.

“Hey!” Luka shouted, glaring towards the group. “Keep your questions for another day. At least let him fucking dry off.” He scoffed as he returned to pour the warm beverages.

The group of reporters and acquaintances dropped their heads at Luka’s command. The momentarily silence that hung within the room was accentuated by Adrien’s steps squelching.

Ignoring their apologetic eyes, he followed Adrien’s puddled trail.

Adrien had kicked off his shoes just on the inside of his bedroom door. Using his own soaked shoes, Luka pushed them to the side so that he could close the door. Adrien sat fully clothed on the bed.

Scampering to the bed, Luka set down the hot chocolates. He jogged back to the door, hoping that his shoes had not leaked too much. He felt Adrien’s eyes on him as he worked at his shoe’s laces.

“You’re all wet.” Adrien stated, as if Luka didn’t know; or as if he was dry himself.

Removing his unlaced shoes he walked towards Adrien’s closet, grabbing a change of clothes. Setting the clothes beside Adrien, Luka lowered to his knees. His hips sat between Adrien’s legs as he ran his hand along his chilled face. Adrien nuzzled into Luka’s affection.

“You’re soaking, you should change.” Luka patted the clothes beside Adrien, still keeping his other hand along the Prettyboy’s face.

Water dribbled as Adrien nodded his head, but he continued to sit still. Luka pulled Adrien’s overcoat off, the inner purple sheen matted by water. Adrien continued to stay, waiting for Luka to remove the next article. Abiding, Luka unbuttoned his vest, putting it atop the coat. Adrien’s hair dripped onto his white shirt. Feeling the pool building at his feet, Luka removed his own coat.

Adrien slanted forward and slowly unknotted Luka’s tie. Luka’s heart pounded against Adrien’s twisting fingers. Once the tie was on the ground, Luka pushed back forward to Adrien’s shirt. Adrien’s emerald eyes followed his fingers. Before Luka went to pull it off Adrien’s shoulders, Adrien aimed towards Luka’s buttons, reflecting his actions.

On the third button down, he kissed Luka’s cheek. Luka wasn’t sure if he had been shivering the whole time, or if it was from the departure of Adrien’s lips.

Dropping his own wet shirt to the ground, he reached for Adrien’s. Both of their chests breathed heavily at each other's sight. Luka, not ready to move further, stood up to remove his own pants and replaced them with the sweatpants he had chosen for himself. Fortunately, he hadn't been in the rain long enough for his boxers to have fully drenched. He tapped the folded clothes on the bed to demand Adrien to change. Leaving Adrien to fend through his own disrobing, he walked towards the linen closet, pulling out the fluffiest blankets he could find.

By the time he returned, Adrien sat in the same spot, this time porting sweatpants, deciding once again to forgo a shirt.

Luka raised the blanket so he could properly swaddle Adrien. From behind, Luka wrapped himself around the shivering man; Adrien’s dribbling hair pushed against his jawbone.

“Your playing was beautiful.” Luka whispered, hoping whatever heat he had left would reach Adrien.

“I think he would have liked it.” Adrien began to tear once again.

Luka softly kissed Adrien’s sopping head. “He would have loved it.” Adrien further crumpled into Luka’s hold.

Though he had stayed the past few nights, it was never more than a sharing of comfort and safety. It was exceptionally more difficult to strive for a platonic friendship when both parties were falling in love.

Fresh Beginnings

A sharp pain jabbed Luka’s ribs, tearing him awake. Adrien lay before him, thrashing in his sleep.

“No, no, Father, please-,” a choked gasp forced his eyes open.

“Hey, hey, I’m right here.” Luka tried to calm the fire within Adrien.

Adrien’s pupils were so dilated that nothing but a sliver of green shone through. Even with Luka’s soft voice, Adrien couldn’t breathe. He desperately gripped his chest, trying to remind himself that he was safe.

Plagg, hearing the familiar commotion flicked on the bedroom lights, paining Luka’s eyes. Adrien jumped to his feet, wheezing.

“Come on, you’re okay. I’ll get the bathroom light for you.” Plagg gently floated before him, leading him to the en suite.

Luka, unfamiliar with this brand of Adrien’s panic attacks, followed with soft feet.

Adrien sat on his feet by the toilet as he tried to control the high pitch register escaping him. Plagg momentarily diverted his attention to observe Luka, but was quick to return to his position caring for Adrien.

He said they were bad at night… that was so long ago… are they still this bad when I’m not here? Luka thought to himself as he lowered to Adrien.

Adrien went to shake his head, but was cut off by the bile building in his throat. Plagg exited to grab the water bottle from its usual place.

Luka ran his hand down Adrien’s back. He wanted to let him know that he was there. That he would be there for all the shitty moments, if Adrien would let him.

By the time Plagg returned, Adrien had finished vomiting. This repetitive scene had finally changed. Even though he sat in the same spread stance, with his sweat coated face lowered, instead of leaning against the wall, he leaned against Luka.

Plagg set the water bottle down, which Adrien was quick to grab.

“Bienvenue à la maison Agreste,” Plagg sarcastically said to Luka. It was all he could think to say that wouldn’t involve too many feelings. Plagg had seen Adrien’s collapsing state too many times, and each time, he felt shackled by his inability to help. But tonight, Luka held him without question or requirement. Plagg wanted to beg the blue haired man to never leave. For today, he gave him a gentle smile, and left the boys alone.

Still partially asleep, Luka went to pull Adrien in. His eyes darted open as his hands touched nothing but blankets.

“He’s gone downstairs.” Sass answered Luka’s confusion.

Plagg was already attempting to commandeer the television. “He left you a set of clothes!” Plagg yelled over his shoulder to Luka as he selected ‘Lucifer’ on the screen.

“Plagg! We haven’t finished Sherlock yet!” Sass hissed.

“As old as time and yet you two spend your days watching tv.” Luka snickered as he lifted the outfit Adrien had left for him. It was far nicer than anything he would have chosen for himself. Since the only clothing of Adrien’s that he could fit was sweatpants, and even then they veered on capris, Adrien must have selected some from the in house designs.

At least the pants are black. Luka examined the Agreste labelled shirt and pants.

Oh he would. Luka couldn’t resist from snickering as he took the packaging off of the Chat Noir socks.

“Thanks for the outfit.” Luka announced himself, nearly sashaying into Adrien’s office with his fancy attire.

Adrien was standing in his office, checking his phone while sipping a coffee. Mid-sip, he raised one of his eyebrows at the sight of Luka and pointed to the cup he had poured for him.

“Do you have any cream or sugar in here?” Luka asked as he picked up the cup.

“How dare you?” Adrien playfully scorned, reflecting Plagg’s brand of humour. “Do you know how nice this coffee is? Don’t ruin it with your carb fillers!”

“Fine, Mr. Fancypants!” Luka took a sip and understood the warning. It felt light on his tongue with slight notes of nuttiness. “A new outfit and a special coffee? I must have done something right.”

Luka marvelled at Adrien, it was as if something changed overnight. He stood taller. His dress pants snuggly fit up his legs, his orchard purple shirt complimented his eyes, and his suspenders accentuated his toned chest. A weight had been lifted off of him, he finally got to say goodbye.

“Don’t you always?” Adrien daringly kissed Luka on the cheek. “Plus, all I had for you was dress, so I knew I couldn’t be the odd man out.” Adrien ran his hand along the side of the silken navy shirt he gave to Luka.

“Why didn’t I get suspenders?” Luka teased, trying to control the flashes of heat emanating from Adrien’s touch.

“Oh don’t push me, we have a ton of those.” Adrien warned as he snapped his own. “But… I do have a favour to ask.” Adrien’s nose scrunched.

Sipping his coffee, Luka watched Adrien patiently. If he wanted the favour, he would need to be direct.

“Are you able to go to the Dupain-Cheng bakery today?” Adrien began sorting through files.

“Why?” Luka eyed him, suspecting ulterior motives.

“Well, yesterday Marinette and I spoke about a design job and I want to see if she’ll actually take me up on it.” He nonchalantly answered.

“I can do that. But for her, not for you.” Luka smirked, naturally stepping closer to Adrien.

Adrien took Luka’s coffee and set it on the desk behind him. “That’s fine.” He mirrored Luka by stepping forward.

Luka found himself grappling with his conscious and his own requirements as he looped his finger through one of Adrien’s straps. This is not just friends. But since his birthday, have we ever really been just friends? What are you doing? Don’t do this - not until… no. No, I can handle this. If I’m going to be there for the shitty nights, I’m going to take the bright mornings. I can’t give this up. He hushed his own thoughts as his body sang at the rush of Adrien’s lips. Adrien’s tongue carried the bittersweet taste of coffee as it sent waves of euphoria through Luka.

Ending with a soft kiss, Adrien grinned up at him. “So, you like the suspenders?”

Breathlessly, Luka nodded, bringing Adrien in for one more kiss before he began his day.

Author's note:

To those who are paying close attention - there are a few things in this chapter that are worth noting:

Luka can lean his head against Adrien in the grass but couldn't earlier? This is because the "love within your own space" is composed of two views, the public and Adrien. If it were to appear that it was a romantic moment shared between the two of them, then it would cause pain - but Marinette is also there, in that moment, it would just look like Adrien's friends helping him through something difficult. The second is Adrien's view. If he is focused on Luka, or thinking about his undying love while he's in his presence - pain. But at that moment, he doesn't really have anything else on his mind.

This is one for a future chapter - note that in the funeral, when Marinette saw Adrien that she started getting sicker, but when she was holding his hand, it seemingly felt better. hmmmmm……

Another funeral note - in the previous chapter, Luka purposefully stays behind, but close. He knows that Adrien doesn't like him being too close. Which is just a sad note I wanted to bring attention to.

This is a big chapter for Adrien, feeling like he's overcome a huge obstacle. He's standing nice and tall, feeling like he can take on the world!

Luka deciding that he can be Adrien's secret is also just massive - because we know he doesn't want that. He so badly wants to be close to/with Adrien but he just wants to be able to hold his hand when they go out for dinner (crying face).

Emelie's body - at this stage she has entered dry decomposition. So even though there could be some form of lingering smell, it's not effecting their lives anymore.

Fucking Lila.

Disclaimer * The characters and original plot were written and created by Thomas Astruc. This writing is merely an interpretation in a sad gay type of way.

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