#the first one does not show up but i probably forgot to tag it properly or something

[dooxliss]

Could I get one of your famous Ranking of Kings artists for the facial expressions game...Boji 5A please? hehe 🤭

send a character and expression!

i’ve found my calling

[stop-talking]

Breakdown of the @joshsbimbo controversy.

@mike-schmidtten already made a detailed list of every reason why people are upset with you, "lamb", but I'm going to quickly go over it all anyways because you obviously didn't get the memo.

Extreme trigger warning for this entire post, I'm going to be talking about rape, SA, assault, violence, abuse, incest, stepcest, pedophilia, substance abuse, and probably a lot more.

First of all, you tagged this fic where Mike literally rapes the reader as "cnc". That is not correct.

I mean, if we look at the definition of CNC, it says "this type of scene does not encourage ACTUAL rape. All proper scenes are done after much negotiation between of-age, consenting adults."

But I don't need to explain that to you, do I? You know what CNC is. You said yourself MONTHS ago that you tagged your fic incorrectly and NEVER went back and fixed it.

Mike's next point was that you make it impossible for people to "steer away" from their triggers when you don't tag your posts properly.

And as an example he used this post of straight up incest porn between Mike and his little sister. All completely out in the open, tagged under "#mike schmidt" and "#mike schmidt x reader" for all to see.

He followed it up this this. A plea for you to, at the bare minimum, tag the major triggers in your posts and hide it under a "read more" section.

Let's take a look at how you responded to that very reasonable request.

Oh. You DM'd him the word poop and blocked him.

Instead of reblogging to respond, you actually deleted your origional post so your followers couldn't see the criticism of you as easily. I wonder why? You made your stance clear, though. "I should have put more warnings on my work, but it doesn't matter anyways because it's all fictional." But then, immediately after, you started relogging an account that makes photoshopped foot fetish content of male celebrities for some reason...?

(I censored the feet myself because its just weird) Oh, and weird AI pictures of him, too.

There were worse ones, but I didn't screenshot everything, and you deleted these posts just a few hours after reblogging.

You followed it all up with this now-deleted post about how you wish you could make your notes private. Again, I wonder why? If it really is OKAY to sexualize incest, rape, and abuse just because it's fictional, why would people be scared to support you? Why is no one willing to publicly like your posts, or speak out in your favor? Even some of your biggest supporters (@leah-hutcherson @teenagedreamsss @cuteskunkz @renaissancebewbies) who continue to like (some) of your posts, still haven't come to your defense. If writing about fictional rape, abuse, and incest really and truly wasn't harmful, why would you need to hide?

Once other people started catching wind of what was going on, you responded in some... interesting ways. Like here, in response to this ask (from a person who is a minor BTW). You switched up your story from "I should have tagged my work better" to "everyone hates me now because I forgot to put warnings on ONE story" (which was just blatantly false, as you had been posting other triggering things at the time with no warnings whatsoever.)

It was absolutely ridiculous of you to claim you put warnings on your work when I could scroll down two posts (back before you deleted this) and see a post about Mike beating his kid.

Like... please show me where exactly the warning is?

Then, when this person, (another MINOR, btw!!) posted after reading Mike's breakdown of your behavior, your responded by DMing them a slur.

I don't even know what to say to that. A minor. A slur.

But as much as you like to INSIST your work isn't for minors, you sure seem to interact with them a lot.

This person who reblogged your masterlist? They're a minor.

^^ You can't say you don't want minors to read your work without actually taking all precautions possible to prevent them from seeing it. (Tagging your content, blocking ageless accounts, NOT REBLOGGING MINORS!!!)

Yes. This person is also a minor. Which makes, what, the 4th minor you've interacted with in the past few days? At least from what I can tell.

They also hate you btw so I don't even know why you reblogged them.

FINALLY, this user commented under one of your posts in an attempt to get you to AT LEAST tag your posts correctly if you're going to write triggering shit. (Which was the same think Mike asked you to do, if you remember, but he got "poop" and reblogs of foot fetish posts as a response.)

But then it looked like you either blocked them or removed their comment, so they tried again.

You ignored this message, then apparently posted this?

So they tried again (being much nicer that I would have)

And you finally responded (and still got blocked anyways because your posts are DISTURBING and GROSS)

I doubted you'd actually fix your page, because again, you ignored the same request when Mike asked, and in the past admitted you tagged your fics wrong but just never bothered to change it.

But surprise surprise, you actually went through with it and added trigger warnings to your content.

Though, I'm still not sure "non-serious" is an appropriate tag for a post where mike beats you to death...??

Look. I appreciate that you're at least TRYING now, but it was a fucking FIGHT to get you to do the bare minimum. What I, and apparently 84% of people actually want you to do is delete your account.

(This is from @mike-schmidtten's breakdown post from a couple days ago)

I know you want to PRETEND that just because something is a work of fiction, it doesn't have negative real-world effects, but that's just not the truth.

A lot of people were hurt when you posted things without trigger warnings.

And even now, as you continue to post fetish content for rape, incest, and abuse, people are still being hurt. MINORS are still being hurt.

Yes, obviously, if you post something on the internet, you can't completely 100% control who sees it. But you don't even seem to TRY.

(Dming minors slurs, letting minors reblog your masterlist, letting ageless accounts interact with you, reblogging minors, answering asks from minors, etc)

People, minors, CHILDREN, are raped and abused by those closest to them every day. It's disgusting and horrifying to think about, but it's the world we live in.

You aren't "helping people cope" by writing these stories. You're normalizing abuse. And allowing the most vulnerable people to read it.

You're taking actual things that have happened to real people, and sexualizing it for others to get off to. It's immoral, disturbing, and disgusting.

To my followers, if any of you support this kind of content, you are NOT welcome on my page. Please unfollow or block me and go seek help.

And to you, lamb, I hope you come to your senses and either delete all of your rape & incest fetish content or delete your account entirely.

At the end of the day, you KNOW you're in the wrong. Or at least some small part of you does, or you wouldn't have been afraid to reblog Mike's post and respond defending yourself directly. And you wouldn't be afraid to reblog mine either, which you undoubtedly will.

I know you used to follow me, so maybe you'll take this all to heart. But probably not.

I won't block you. (for the next few days, at least). I'll be here if you want to try and have a civil discussion. But just know I will NEVER agree with the sexualization & glorification of violence and abuse.

[hildred-rex]

LXGF Reread 2023-11-20

To make an analysis post I am currently rereading what is shaping up to be the entirety of LXGF.

This has gotten incredibly long, so I'm burying it under a readmore.

I love the bit of dramatic irony here. I think it's technically spoilers which bit is the dramatic irony, but just trust me, it's great.

The wham shot of Mina's teeth is so good. And coupled with "We have some experience with such matters."...

From this page: The supportive hand on Irene's shoulder. The supportive hand on Irene's shoulder. And Irene really looks haunted in the "An explanation would be welcome" panel. Everything from the angle she's looking to the shadows under her eyes to her interlaced hands. I just want to give her a hug.

Bam. The king. (Isn't looking quite himself, is he?) I remember I shuddered when I first read this page and came to this panel.

The king continues to look very bad on the last panel of this page. (TW scopophobia and disturbing imagery.) And the color. It's so subtle you almost don't notice it the first time, just that something about the page seems slightly off. It's very effective, even at that level. And then when you do notice it... Nothing in this comic is in color. Everything is sepia-toned. That's the way things should be. But the dead King Wilhelm von Ormstein has yellow eyes.

VAN HELSING! And it nails how he talks in the book! (Having tried to write him, it's harder than it looks.) Not to mention the joy in my heart upon continuing my left-to-right scan of the panel and seeing QUINCEY MORRIS!

I've skipped a bunch here because I'm supposed to be focusing on Griffin and haven't even gotten to him yet but Art—

JONNO EYES (not sepia. I repeat: not sepia.)

I forgot how much I loved our introduction to Dorian.

And then we actually meet him (and see Paul Lessingham, the Politician, the Statesman—thank you, alt text!). He's angelic when you focus only on him, but when you look at him in context (in the panel with Basil) he's... less so. Very well done!

Foreshadowing. (When something becomes not technically probably spoilers I have a very laudatory post about all this.) Also floppy Dorian lol

I love this page. Not only do we see Dorian purposely provoke Art (and then see Art react, showing off both of their characterss) we see—and I missed this the first time—some of the dynamic between Dorian and Basil. He jumps in to distract Art, despite being scared himself (and Dorian having earned it).

Awwh Basil looks so excited that someone's treating him kindly...

Dorian's stories from this page are all allusions to other things which have gone onto the "read soon" list.

The last panel of this page is so effective. (Its image description too!)

"boring filler headline" lol (and I enjoy the tags)

DETERMINED MINA PANEL 2! BLUSHING MINA PANEL 6! Also just Mina's outfit in general. (Also just the LXGF outfits in general. I love the little garlic flowers.)

Paranoid Kemp is done so well.

LXGF is very good at having very effective final panels. This one with the glass... It's very well composed (I think that's the word) and does a good job of displaying Irene's discomfort with the glass. (Here.)

It was introduced on the previous page, but here's the first time we get a good look at Jonnovision. My favorite cryptid solicitor.

On the next page there's more cryptidness (the speed), which I didn't notice my first time through. And his eyes are glowing in the first panel... And then the first expletive of the comic! Such a great way to properly introduce Griffin!

I love (in a sad way) how Griffin just caves in when he thinks about the murder. (Here.)

Griffin's whole first scene is incredible. I can't comment on all of it or this post would be several more miles long. Just go read it and imagine me vibrating with excitement and pointing at random bits and screaming.

Character growth for Jack! ...I'm now very sad.

The panel with Jonathan and the angelic smile and the giant knife is great.

I've been annotating over here less because we've gotten to the bit that I'm talking about in my actual post, but rest assured that I love it. Also, the yellow is brighter here. And the eye... I'll count myself lucky if that thing doesn't show up in my dreams tonight.

And the shot of the photo at the end here! The corruption happening to the king slowly coming to affect depictions of him... I love this for spoiler-related reasons.

Griffin's realization is both very well done and unaccountably hilarious to me.

Hel-lo Mr. Holmes!

He respects her change of surname! Better than a lot of adaptations... and the table lmao

He. He what. Also floomp.

Holmes's immediate concern for Mrs. Hudson warms my heart.

HOLMES AROACE COMING OUT SCENE!

Accurate VH voice is back—what the deuce are you two talking about?

his blood is yellow his blood is yellow (well really more like golden)

Also Jack looking panicked in the second panel is so well done.

Almost namedrop! And Griffin being a delight as always.

Hello Jekyll! Great to see you! I enjoy your almost alchemical-looking setup there.

The king is progressing...

Same page; I enjoy Jekyll and Hyde's designs. They have the same hairstyle, very similar noses, and the same style of eye; but they still look different enough that you probably wouldn't believe them if they said they were cousins.

"He is a horror of the un-dead." Line of dialogue, presented without comment.

The drawingsss...

The first panel of this page is absolutely stunning. So is everything else. So much that I wrote an analysis rant of it.

[synintheraven]

GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS

Was tagged by @ladyaldhelm & @holy3cake but uhm forgot to do this until today lmao

What's the origin of your blog title?

Figured I could just share a picture of ✨her✨ aka Eivor's raven in Assassin's Creed Valhalla ♥ I liked the name so uhm yeah I kept it :p

OTP(s) + Shipname:

Can I pair myself with Travis?

Okay hear me out: Skade+Sihtric!! Uhm their shipname could be Skatric or Sihde lol

Favorite colour:

I really like indigo blue aaand green is probably one of my favs in many tones as well (;

Favorite game:

In case the first answer doesn't quite give it away; Assassin's Creed Valhalla ♥ It's probably closely followed by The Sims (3 mostly, a bit of 4 too) and Uncharted: The Lost Legacy

Song stuck in your head: 

Last one I was singing was I Killed A Man by Post Malone hehehe (I didn't kill anyone tho), but also that song Harald & Halfdan sing in Vikings is forever stuck in my head it's just so good!!

Weirdest habit/trait?

Is fantasizing over a man 20 years older than me a weird habit? Lol but yeah obsessing over dudes (and sometimes losing interest when they interact with me in any way lol) is probably my weirdest trait/habit :p

Hobbies:

Drawing, taking way too many caps of Travis on whatever shit show he's in, uhm playing games?

If you work, what's your profession?

I don't :p Send job offers your girl here needs $$

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically?

Maybe a detective? I love detective-sque shows but like I know justice doesn't work as well out of screen as it does in the shows which sucks - like, imagine you manage to catch a criminal and then some judge/politic says "yeah but they'll get away with it because I got paid to release this fucker (;"

Something you're good at:

Drawing? (Hopefully) I think I'm quite a good liar but I doubt that's something to be proud of lol

Something you're bad at:

Socializing, keeping up with friends, do things out of my comfort zone :p

Something you love: 

Well duh the man in my icon and my furry baby boy Mani <3

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: 

Something you hate:

Loud people, people who ask too many questions instead of paying attention, fascists!

Something you collect: 

Uhm nothing? Unless me collecting male crushes counts lol because I'm good at that hehe

Something you forget: 

By all means EVERYTHING

What's your love language?

I don't know how to properly write this down but like I like knowing someone is there for me even if they're not actively trying to talk to me or interact with me, if that makes sense - like, I forget to keep up with friends/my bf so it's cool when they don't get offended by my lack of interaction lol

Favorite movie/show: 

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban / The Last Kingdom ♥

Favorite food:

Pasta!

Favorite animal:

Cats/Horses/Rabbits

What were you like as a child? 

Had the same socializing skills I have now so I was very shy but also quite nice so people took advantage of that a lot :s

Favourite subject at school?

Art? I also liked English but at some point realized I kinda sucked at it lol

Least favourite subject: 

Math :p

What's your best character trait? 

Uhm I DON'T KNOW

What's your worst character trait?

Honesty/Not thinking before I speak :p

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

Aside from maybe turning around to see Ragnar spawn on my bed, I'd love to bring back my kitty because I miss him terribly </3

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? 

Oooh this is a good one! Probably Vikings in general? Like, I'd love to learn about their culture FROM THEM instead of having to read what Christians thought about them :p I'd also force them to write down absolutely everything for future generations and fucks sake

idk who did this already or not so feel free to do this if you see it on your dash and say you've been tagged by me (;

[campingwithmonsters]

I kinda have no idea how to properly introduce this so here we go:

I’ve started development on the very last (canon) issue of Tags of Whistlegrimm.

We’ve had Duck Duck Goose, we’ve had Blind Man’s Bluff. Introducing… Spider’s Tag!

I should clarify that this story is still in bare bones right now with not a whole lot to it yet— let’s just say this is a story where I know how it’s going to end before I know how it’s going to begin or frankly know much about it’s body at all.

So who’s our final protagonist? Why, the legendary figure, said to be the story of stories, the impeccable trickster… Anansi the Spider!

(It’s probably easy to tell that I don’t have finalized references of him or the next one I’m showing oopsies—)

Anansi’s power is not 100% equal to Lord’s, but is not far off. Said to have been granted a portion of his power back as Whistlegrimm first found itself founded, Anansi’s ability stretched more to the external kind where he can shape things around him or use surprising abilities to his advantage. The only trick is that he can’t change anything about himself like how Lord’s only abilities lie within altering his own. Course, considering this is a granted magic, the only thing Anansi could do is release it from himself, but he made a promise years ago to protect that.

Though small, Anansi was considered the right hand man of Lord Whistlegrimm himself. Anansi usually does a lot more roaming around Whistlegrimm as a bit of a problem solver (even if it means causing more problems… for the foes at least) and family man than stay with Lord. He has his own shenanigans to tend to, and god does he have fun while doing it! Of course, a long day’s work is made better by coming home to his lovable sons or to his nearest and dearest friend besides Lord himself… but who might that be?

Enter the marvelous Miss Molly Muffet, or Dr. Muffet for short— an actually professional doctor and one of the few who’s careful enough to tend to tiny critters like Anansi himself! She may look a little intimidating, but she truly never means any harm! She’s more sporadic and eccentric than anything, albeit a bit clumsy in other fields. But she’s perfect for her occupational work, and can surprisingly be trusted with doing what she does gently.

There’s actually quite a bit going on with this one and has a lot of different story inspirations tied together. Obviously there’s little miss muffet. But I also included inspiration from “Dr. Know-All” or “Miss Molly/Polly had a Dolly.” to exemplify more obvious doctor themes. As for her weird crab-like hair, the main character of Dr. Know-All is named Crabbe, and she also takes some Spider Crab inspiration to further tie her in with Anansi!

Her clothes are meant to resemble both traditional doctor wear (as in those fancy long coats) with some frilly ends like how a lot of depictions of Little Miss Muffet are. Also surprisingly, the actual origin of Little Miss Muffet has always been something very up for debate and one of the possible inspirations was actually the daughter of Dr. Thomas Muffet, who was a physician and an entomologist! Though it’s hard to say if this was actually the case. This makes the whole Dr. Know-All inspiration even funnier considering that Crabbe in that story didn’t actually know anything and was making well timed guesses as to everything going on… and is the whole Dr. Thomas Muffet thing not just a guess? Yeah, I said there was a lot to unpack.

I also legit forgot I did this but her eyes have a button look to make the Miss Molly Had A Dolly thing more obvious, but we’ll see how long that sticks.

(Also I’m so sorry I tag you so much all the time but huge thanks to @pazam for all the help she does for not just these character designs but so many others in Tags of Whistlegrimm <3)

I should clarify that there’s not too much to them yet in terms of everything that’s going to happen besides knowing the ending already, but this is a story where I want to tie everything in. Everything in Duck Duck Goose and Blind Man’s Bluff… well, I guess we can leave it at some questions will be answered, and that everything starts somewhere. Despite Spider’s Tag being the only one that’s actually confirmed to happen after DDG and BMB (which happen relatively at the same time), it’s gonna help pave the way for the events in this stories.

Not sure what else to say other than obviously stay tuned for more about Spider’s Tag and hopefully updates on its cast haha!! And also just a huge thank you to people who have shown interest in Tags of Whistlegrimm as a whole. I know I hype myself up as if there’s a large crowd here, but there’s really not a lot of people here. But I see every new note on my posts and even a like from a new viewer goes a long way for me. Even when I only get 5-6 notes, that’s a good sign for a tiny little obscure blog like me :) I just love sharing what I love and knowing that there’s someone out there who’s interested :) so thank you all who’ve ever taken interest in Tags of Whistlegrimm!!

[caramelmochacrow]

polym4id cariňosa <3

notes/me going insane abt them under the cut bc i know the tags would be long if i didn't!

first up! carinosa is a folk dance that originates from the colonial era of the philippines. it tells the story of a man and a woman falling in love but are too shy to properly show it so they do a little hide and seek type of thing. the fan and handkerchief play a very important role for the dance because it helps tells the audience their shy way of showing love.

my headcanon for dalia's mother is she's filipino and her father is japanese. her brother has no canon appearance yet so i just made one up for him!

i headcanon dalia being very close to her filipino side of the family since her mother always video-called them when she has the chance ever since she was a kid. her relative gifts her and her brother presents every time it was their birthday or any holiday.

marika is literally the "ideal" dalagang pilipina (on the outside). fair skin, nice attitude, has a good career as a model, and is very sweet. dalia's relatives would probably like her a lot if they didn't know abt the fact marika does NOT clean her room n stuff.

"tito" in english is "uncle", not to be confused w "ninong" which is used for godfathers (ive accidentally called my tito 'ninong' more than two times bc i didnt know this difference when i was younger). the feminine equivalant for both words are "tita" and "ninang".

no one is wondering this but the reason i didn't get any of their boobs out is bc that would be. not good to do. it's a no no. that era in the philippines was very conservative on that kind of thing, so it would be a bit disrespectful (to me) to do such a thing. also how am i supposed to get the tits out w that outfit huh? (and i cant drAW BO--)

also also. if ur curious why some tagalog words remind u of spanish or anything reminds u of something from spain, it's bc spain colonized the philippines for 300 years. that's why some filipinos have "spanish" names. my middle and last name r spanish bc of this. (idk if some of this is correct tho bc i havent went to a filipino history lesson for like. two years technically. reason why i kinda remembered this is bc we were taught this ever since we were like. in kindergarten.)

that saori and dalia one is based on an image in the wikipedia page of carinosa. i rlly liked it a lot even tho it isnt even part of the dance lol. that was the first drawing i did for this and it took me a while to finish haha.

this isnt connected to the drawings (kind of) but back in my old old school in the philippines we had to dance the carinosa for this annual dance competition against every grade, from the kindergarteners to the damn high schoool students. it was a mixed school so there were boys n girls and i was paired up w one of my friends, all of us were practicing rlly hard but when the performance day came, my friend and his brother (also my other friend i think) wasnt there. so i had to be paired up w the girl his brother was supposed to be paired up w, and considering the fact this song is abt a two lovers n stuff it made it pretty gay lol. we did well but we didn't win, i forgot who won tho...

also rika's necklace is from that one art from the character designer where's theyre wearing the yoba academy uniform.

[kangen-wanshi]

Kisses ft Larry, Brassius, Hassel

Obviously enough, their favourite place to kiss

Tags: Separate, fluff, kisses duh

A/N: Sorry for the odd formating. I think Tumblr is glitching on me

Larry, On The Cheek

A simple man, and a simple kiss.

When he leaves for work, when you visit during his break, when he comes home, anytime,  his first instinct is to kiss your cheek.

It's easy, and he doesn't have to worry about PDA much while still giving you the loving recognition that you deserve. 

He'd lean down (or tiptoed up to you), and just plant a firm kiss to your cheek while holding your face with his hand.

If you're lucky, he'd sometimes drop a quick "I love you" and a bonus kiss to your temple.

During moments where he feels a little more deprived of your kiss, just hold his hand in yours and kiss his cheek back.

Might not show it, but from such close proximity to his face, you can feel his cheek heating up a little with a small smile on his face.

His favorite for you to give him is on his lips.

Again, simple man, simple request. 

A peck, a longing kiss, or even something more, he's all good for it, as long as you initiate it first.

He suppose it gives him a sense that, despite his sense of normal, you still long for his affection as much as he does.

"I'll try to come home early today. So please, wait for me."

Brassius, On The Back of Your Hand

A gentleman, truly.

He has been doing this even before the two of you are together. 

He just find the gesture absolutely romantic and deserving for someone as beautiful and as elegant as you are (no matter how much you argue against his word, he'll stay true to it)

Sometimes he'll even kneel for you.

Like that one time when his Sudowoodo had apparently run away, he spent hours trying to spot the tree pokemon, and you easily found it within minutes at the park between other trees.

(You asked him whether he wants to see a doctor to get glasses prescription or not but he kissed your hand thank you and you just sort of forgot about it)

A bonus to this is that Brassius' hands are quite calloused. Years of sculpting does that to a man, and you'd cherish those every bumps and scars on his skin rather than telling him to put gloves over them.

His favorite place to be kissed is hands. Specifically,  his palm.

As mentioned before, the skin on his palm is thick and calloused. Small scars littered his hands, you can even easily spot new ones every other week.

If you press your lips firmly against his palm, and trace every little scar you see with your soft breathing, you'd receive one of the rare moments where Brassius just shuts up and enjoy the tingling feeling of warmth in his hand.

If he's feeling sentimental he'd probably reciprocate with a kiss on your lips, and a firm hand on the back of your head.

He may be loud and passionate,  but with you, he simply can't help but smother himself in the soft gentle side of loving another.

Hassel, On The Lips

It's easy! He loves you, so he'll opt to kiss your lips to show it.

Not that he's against other types of kisses, he just thinks that a kiss on the lips should express his love more properly.  And to tell people about the feelings the two of you have for each other quite easily.

Even at school, he doesn't mind kissing you on the lips. Though it might just be quick pecks, he still has an image to hold after all.

But away from prying eyes, his lips can never seem to leave yours.

Your cheek, your nose, your forehead, your jaw, and finally your lips.

He just loves you okay. Other than his obvious vocalization of it, his kisses explains a lot about his feelings.

He's the type to easily giggle during kisses though.

Small smiles, chuckle, and just full blown laughter. You name it, he'd definitely break a smile whenever he planted a kiss on your face.

Hassel doesn't have a favorite place to be kissed, but since he's quite tall, he probably would have a soft spot for kisses on his jaw or his neck.

It doesn't even have to be sensual. He can sometimes be ticklish if caught off guard, and he might just hold you by your arms as he bursts out laughing with blushes on his face.

Also love it if you initiate the kiss on the lips.

Makes him feel like he's more than just a pokemon trainer, an elite four, but your loyal, loving partner.

(A bonus point is blowing raspberries to his neck. He'll be absolutely embarrassed if it's done in public. He'd never be angry at you, but just be prepared for a series of revenge kisses when the two of you are alone).

[bonny-kookoo]

Rabbit Boy | JJK x Reader | 🔞

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Wordcount: 10.3k (Long)

Genre: Romance, Friends/strangers to lovers, Smut, BDSM because I'm making that a genre now

Tags/Warnings: BDSM themes (please I'm begging you stop reading my shit if it makes you uncumfortable), mentions of restrainment, light shibari, edging, orgasm denial (very mild), Subspace, Domspace because yes thats a thing, Dom/sub dynamics, Biting, Oral (m and f receiving), riding, and not the horseback kind if you know what I mean, protected sex yes, we love an organized household, there's just so much sweet filth istg

Summary: Jungkook is wild, untamed, and doesn't really commit to anyone for long. But maybe, you're his only exception in this world. Maybe, you're really that perfect partner he's been looking for.

Jungkook likes to think of himself as an artist.

Sure, if people knew exactly what the young man does in his freetime (or as a side job, don't judge, we all want to make money out of our hobbies stop lying to yourself), they would surely look at him differently.

But he's an artist, nonetheless.

Technically, Jungkook also doesn't need to do what he does simply for the money. No, his main job pays very well- considering that he's one of the top elite in his genre of games. He doesn't just merely play and win a game; Jungkook, just like most things he touches, claims complete ownership of the match he's fighting. It's a well known fact that he's someone who likes things for himself. He loves control, craves to lead, and hates to be belittled.

Oh and yeah- financially, investing in an indie-game three years back had also done his bank account some good.

Now, at an age where he can be fully considered a man, and not a boy anymore, he craves control in different aspects of life- and love.

Jungkook has a problem however.

He's wild.

Not in the way one might think he is (although several people could argue that yes, that's also the case in bed..) but generally. He loves to control- but he hates to be tied down.

And a mindset like that doesn't work well with relationships.

He's had them before, don't get him wrong. He's had numerous in the past, but they all either broke apart because he would hold that particular desire back, making him antsy and moody, or he would welcome his partners into his world, and become uncomfortable with the way things would progress.

No, he doesn't want to experiment. He knows exactly what he wants, and if that means he's 'close-minded' and a bad person, then so be it for him.

He never liked the constant company in his apartment anyways.

"Ah, I've seen her before. She's usually a regular for Yoongi though." Taehyung says, checking a name for Jungkook, who's doodling on a napkin while he waits for his new appointment to show up. "I see. I forgot that Yoongi took some days off recently- that's probably why she's now under your hand." He explains, and Jungkook huffs, his blonde hair tickling his cheek.

"So I'll have to adjust? I mean, Yoongi's style is pretty different from mine." The young man says, not looking up. He simply continues his little sketch of braided hair, while the lanky guy behind the counter clicks away on his laptop.

"Probably? I can't check the logs since they're private, but from what I know Yoongi only did the usual with her." he explains, shrugging as he looks at his friend and colleague. "I can re-schedule her to Hoseok if you want?" He asks, and Jungkook, after finishing his drawing, lets the pen fall and stretches.

"Yeah, that would probably be best. Wouldn't know what to do if she drops- rather not have him rip my head off, thanks." He says, before he gets up.

"Ah- you're still coming over tonight right? Y/N said she's gonna cook for us." He says, and Jungkooks body shivers a little.

Your name is nothing new to him, but the reaction to it most certainly was. You're a friend of Yoongi and Hoseok, having joined in on their gaming nights a few months ago after Yoongi had insisted you couldn't stay alone on a christmas day. Jungkook had never really asked why you were alone in the first place, but he had never really cared much for it either. Sure, you were an absolute gem to look at; technically absolutely his type, but he had early on decided not to pursue anything at all with you. He knew friendship wouldn't stay friendship with you, his own hunger way too large to simply be satiated by platonic gestures-

and he was also sure you wouldn't be able to handle him, truly. The conversation with Jimin, one of your best friends, had changed nothing about that. Because he didn't know you well enough to quite know if you were only bark and no bite- or if you were genuinely craving the same things he did.

But most recently, there had been a change in his opinion on you. Because he had seen you, come out of this place, out of Yoongis studio.

You knew about all of this- and you were still around.

Nothing had changed.

Now, of course he had instantly poked holes into the poor guy about if he had ever played with you before- and the answer he had gotten, had made him even more interested and antsy to get closer to you.

Because while you trusted Yoongi with everything you had, he had never done anything with you. You had simply been interested in watching a scene unfold- and had told him that you were definitely interested in participating. The reason Jungkook couldn't ask you directly was a clear one-

You were majorly intimidated by him, to the point of, he had never really had a proper conversation with you. Partially, he had to admit, because he himself didn't want to involve himself too much with you.

He’d always asked himself; wouldn’t you be even more distant and reserved with him if you knew this side of him? Sure, you always joked around that he probably tied his girls up and edged them until they cried- but did you know that he genuinely enjoyed these things?

Relationships for him were mere covers to call the arrangements he had with the girls that came and went in his life in a constant changing matter. Deep down, no one night stand could satisfy his most carnal desires, and he was very well aware of that. But he rather took what he could get and lived a fever dream for a few moments than stay on his own simply because his idea of pleasure and sex was not the norm.

No, he refused to deny himself that.

Maybe it was because he’d always lived a rather lavish life- with his parents well off and his own career skyrocketing he never really had any worries like you have had in the past. For some odd reason, while looking at the soft red rope in his hands, his thoughts suddenly went astray; he knew he could give you the stability you oh so craved, in every way shape and form. You were a diamond simply waiting to be perfected- you had so much potential, knowing that you were secretly wandering around the same paths as he did made him even more frustrated.

The hints were there, they were obvious; from the way you had sighed out in bliss when he’d teasingly pulled your hair just hours ago, to the sinful confessions he’d heard that night when he overheard you and jimin by accident. Of course he’d maybe wasted a thought or two of you underneath him to humor him once or twice- but now with the rope in his hands, his mind immediately began painting pictures of it against your skin. Would you enjoy it? And what if he took your sight, or only bound your hands? What if he denied you to cum, or if he took you from behind, grabbing your hair and pushing down your spine to make it arch so prettily- never with the intend to hurt, of course. He knew he’d have to tame you first, make you submit, but then again, he loved the challenge.

You made even the idea of touching fun.

He wouldn't even have to undress you to fully get himself worked up, he was sure of that. Only seeing you bow to his very command would be enough to satisfy him. Of course, over the course of time he would lead you deeper and deeper into his rabbit hole, but he would take it slow for you.

So, with a smile, and a wave of his hand, he walked past the girl he knew had been his appointment- grinning at Taehyung. "Of course I'll be there."

He wouldn't dare miss a night with you.

You were stressing. A little.

Maybe.

Maybe a lot.

Everything would've been fine if they guys would've all come over. But due to the bad weather, and Taehyungs bad habit of never properly fixing his god-forsaken dumpster of a car, only one of them would be able to make it. And of course the one had to be Jeon Jungkook.

Just great.

Now, it wasn't like you didn't like the guy, no way. The problem was more, that he was on the exact opposite of that spectrum. You had a major crush on him, which felt like the plot to a really bad drama show you would watch drunk at night- and in a way, it really felt like one too. Because you were pretty sure, he didn't even know your name.

But oh well- apparently he knew more than that. More specifically, your phone number. And it had scared the shit out of you at first to receive a message from him because how the hell did he get your number, but then again you remembered that one of your connections was Kim Taehyung- and everyone knew what he knew.

It was the doorbell that ripped you out of your skin almost.

You didn't even change, deciding any effort would be too late anyways; and you were still heavily confused in the first place why the fuck he would come over alone, even though you two had never exchanged much more than a friendly hello and goodbye. But there he was, as you opened the door- soft, white hoodie and ripped jeans, a bit damp from the rain outside as you let him inside.

He didn't move.

"Uh-" You started, but he just looked at you, friendly as ever, although a teasing glint in his eye made you frown a bit.

He thought it was cute.

"You didn't tell me to come in." He said, and you blinked once, twice, before your brain had properly restarted.

"Oh uh- come in?" You said, again, moving a bit to the side so he could walk in- which he still didn't. "Jungkook come on now its fucking cold-!" You whined, and he laughed, finally stepping inside. Had he always been like that? Could very well be the case, after all, you had never truly paid much attention to his behavior before.

"Thanks for letting me come over." He said, and you watched him as he untied his boots. "I had nothing else to do- and also, I didn't want you to waste any food, considering Tae said you cooked for us." He explained, before he got up again from his half kneeling position, boots now standing next to your significantly smaller shoes.

"Ah, it would've been fine, you guys don't have to feel bad." You waved off, smiling. "I was about to stop cooking anyways when Jimin had texted me, but well, then you did and uhm.." You drifted off, noticing how you were suddenly waiting for him to lead the way.

In your own apartment.

What the hell?

If he noticed however, he didn't show it. He simply smiled, and moved his hands inside the front pocket of his hoodie. "Ah, thanks. I appreciate it, really." He said, and you smiled at him as well, walking towards the main area of your apartment. It was small, very small compared to his own, but he enjoyed the feeling of it. Everything around him reminded him of you, in a way; from the pictures taped to the walls, to the stickers on your fridge. It all held a piece of you in it. "Your apartment is really nice, by the way." He commented, and you turned around, before getting plates and cutlery to bring inside the living room.

"Ah, right, it's your first time here." You said. "Thanks- the living room is right around the corner there, you can just sit down and I'll bring everything there." You explained, and he smiled, nodding without arguing.

You liked that.

Typically, there would've been this awkward 'oh no let me help you', but Jungkook didn't seem to dwell on it much, letting you do your thing instead of butting in and making things weird. He simply walked where you had directed him, sitting down on the couch as he went to place a blanket to the side. His fingers moved over the fabric for a moment, noticing how everything on the couch, including the pillows, were made of that same, soft material.

Interesting.

"Oh- you can just put that to the side, sorry I forgot to clean that up." You said, putting the food onto the table as he just smiles again. He waits for you to sit down as well before you turn up the TV volume a little, nerves finally setting in as you notice there's almost nothing you can talk to him about. "This is awkward." You comment, and he chuckles at that swallowing his bite as he looks at you.

"Doesn't have to be." He states, before he turns his body a bit more into your direction; a visible sign that he wants a conversation. "Tae has never mentioned what you do for a living." He states, an unasked question of his. He lets you decide if you want to take it as one or leave it as a statement- it makes you feel nice, in a way.

"Ah uh.. it's really boring, so I guess I never really talk about it either.." You say, and he tilts his head a little, a silent urging for you to continue. You feel insignificant next o him and his job however. He's superior to you in any way, and you don't want him to feel pity or laugh at you for your job. "I uh.. I'm a programmer for a.. pretty unknown game studio." You say, body almost shrinking in on itself as you wait for his reaction. Much to your surprise however, he makes a sound that's purely surprise, as he swallows his bite with a bit of urgency.

"Fuck really?! That's so cool though!" He argues, brows furrowed a bit as he playfully accuses you with his next words. "Indie or not, a programmer is the main force of any game. Did you work on any games I might know of?" He asks, eyes sparkling as he realizes he had finally found something to bond with you over.

"Uh.. 'Rabbit Boy' was our best hit until now.." You say, still a bit shy, but you're also a tad more confident now. His reaction is either well-staged, or he's genuinely interested in what you do.

"I played it I think. It was a bit short, but I loved the mechanics." He says, and before he can quite stop himself, his hand has already reached out to you, running over your hair as he praises you like second nature. "Wuah, so smart!" He says, before he gets a reaction he wouldn't have thought he'd get from shy-you.

Because you playfully shove him, your socked feet pushed against the side of his thigh as you giggle at him.

Interesting, again.

Now, Jimin has actually told him about this before. How you were anything but the shy girl when you were around people you knew and trusted. He had believed it- to an extend- because he had also thought that maybe you were like that to prove your spot between those guys. As the only girl, you easily got thrown under the bus, so you had to somehow own your spot in the midst of your circle of friends.

However, it seemed like you were truly just a brat, hiding behind that innocent facade of yours. A barking dog, with every intent to bite if needed.

And Jungkook knew, he'd love to tame you, show you your spot, and make you his prey.

The trashy movie your watching bores you, in a way. Jungkook has noticed this already, having taken note of your feet wiggling around, your teeth nibbling on the inside of your cheek, as you rest your cheek on your hand, elbow resting on the side of the couch.

“I don’t know why she’s so hesitant.” You mutter, pouting as you slump into the couch- uncaring that the side of your body now leans against his own. He feels your warmth- and for some reason it brings him comfort to notice that you’re seemingly growing more at ease. “I mean, it’s what she’s into, right?” You say, brows furrowed as you watch the screen.

“It’s not that simple.” Jungkook explains, trying to not make it obvious that he’s not necessarily talking about the movie. “Some men like to you know.. fight for a partner. Impress them. Win them over.” He explains, and he can feel you shift a little- until your head raises a bit, watching him as he watches you; gazes locked, and you can’t look away. You’re shy, you’re growing restless, but his eyes are like magnets; there’s no way you can avert your gaze.

“And.. you?” You ask, voice not loud at all, as if you don’t even notice you’re saying it. He loves that- loves the fact that you’re slowly letting him closer- not only physically.

“I like to earn my spot in their lives.” He states, and your mind suddenly begins to spin. You’ve always seen him as someone who doesn’t care much about emotions or feelings, or relationships for that matter. And maybe he doesn’t- maybe he just says this because he knows your weak spots. But the way his words fall into your ears makes you believe him. “I like to see my partner thrive; I love to see them grow. And..” he says, boldly deciding to slowly reach out his hand that was placed on the back of the couch- his fingers running through your hair, only brushing through, never pulling (no matter how much you’re craving it secretly). “I love to see them let go.” He humms out, and there’s a sudden shiver down your back, one that he definitely notices.

This is it. This is where you’ll let him touch you, let him wreck you, let him ruin you. You lean in closer, and so does he, but just when your lips are about to touch, he smiles gently- a warm affectionate gesture that you’ve never seen from him. And with it being directed at you, it’s even more meaningful- but it’s all about his next move, the way his inked fingers trace your cheek, before he speaks.

“You’re not ready yet.”

And with that, he turns back to the TV.

You huff, and it's the first time you know exactly what you're doing. You knew from Yoongi what Jungkook did in his freetime- you knew that this stuff was his expertise. Defeated, you looked down towards your knees, as your thoughts start to grow more and more frustrated. He probably didn't even see you like that, having only visited you out of pity, and not because he wanted to see you.

You were probably already friendzoned, and he was too nice to outright say it into your face. It made your emotions turn sour as the situation grew more and more awkward for you.

"What're you thinking about?" He asks, and you don't answer. What was there to say anyways? You really didn't want to have this weird conversation where he would tell you that oh yeah you're a nice girl, but he's not the right guy, the usual stuff you've already heard time and time again. "Y/N." He says, his voice dropping a little, but you only chew on the inside of your cheek again, eyes moving towards the TV screen. You didn't want to talk- you just hoped he would now sigh and get up, leaving so you could forget about all of this. You could maybe fake being sick for the next week or so to avoid him, yeah, that would be enough time to gloss over this entire situation. But he only clicks his tongue, hands suddenly moving your legs as he moves your body to face him.

Looking at his face is your first mistake.

His eyes are dark and almost angry, irritated as he looks as you. His jaw is clenched, and his hands stay on your knees for a moment, before he's sure enough that he has your attention. Only then does he speak, his voice nowhere near as soft and light as it had been before. "I know what you're thinking, and I don't like it." He says, and that's when you make your second mistake.

"Can we not right now? You don't know shit." You say, and he stares you down for a moment, until his head tilts a slight bit, eyes growing predatory as the corners of his lips tilt upwards. It resembles a small smile, yes, but it's not meant to be one. No, the first thing you have to think about is a wolf snarling at you, ready to put his packmate into their place for acting out.

It makes your spine tingle.

"Hm, maybe, but we can be classy about it, no?" He asks, and you scoff, trying to move your legs away from him, as he scans you.

At this point, he can see clearly that you're testing him.

So he gets up promptly, moving you around so you're standing in front of him. His inked hand finds your hair, gripping without mercy as he pulls your head back, your gaze now forced to stay on his as he calmly speaks. "You think I'm not into you like that- and you're as wrong as you could ever get." He says, biting his tongue as to not let a petname slip. He'd love to use them, but he knows that it's not yet time. That would be foul play, in a way; he doesn't want to seduce you.

He wants to make you understand.

"Trust me when I say I'd love to just throw you over my legs to spank that attitude out of you right now." He explains, and you whine- not in pain, but simply as a reaction to his confession. "But you don't know what you're getting yourself into." He continues, and pulls a bit to interrupt your next words. You know that you can get free any second you want to- but for some reason, there's no urge to do so. "You think of this as some game to play, you think of yourself as someone who can take all of it at once, but you don't even get the simplest and most important things about this entire thing." You swallow, as you stay still, finally giving up your fight as he relaxes the grip he still has on you. "Even now, it's not me controlling this situation. Its you." He says, letting go of you as his hands rest on your cheeks, eyes searching for any clues of discomfort. Only when he finds none, does he continue. "I will only ever have as much control over you as you're willing to give to me." He smiles again, this time, warm and comforting. "If you're really willing to do this, we will do this right. You'll have to trust me first, and I'll have to get to know you fully first, before anything else happens. Understood?" He asks.

And you nod.

"Do you know what you just agreed to?" He chuckles, and, shyly, you shake your head.

"See?" He grins, breaking skincontact with you. "You're not ready yet."

His brows furrow when he sees you sitting on the counter, Taehyung talking to you. "What're you doing here?" He asks, and you pout, as Taehyung moves away, not wanting to get involved into anything this time. "Stop that face. We talked about this last week, why're you here now?" He asks, and you tilt your head innocently.

"Maybe I'm here for Yoongi?" You say, and his eyes grow darker for a second, before he composes himself.

"Good try, but he's still off work." He states, and you deflate a bit.

"I just.. wanted to see, I guess." You say, and he smiles a bit impishly.

"Oh? I mean, I have a scene in twenty minutes.." He asks, and internally, you cringe. No, you don't want to see him screw or even touch another woman in the ways you secretly want him to touch you instead. No, you're technically here to maybe talk him into show you at least a little bit. But it doesn't seem like he'll cave in anytime soon, so you sigh out.

"Okay, okay, I'll see you around, I guess." You say, hopping down from the counter before you take a step towards the exit.

"Ah well, I'll drive you home then." He states, and you grow confused as he leans against the counter. "Seeing as my scheduled appointment wants to leave, I have time off." He states, and you skin tingles. "Come on now, before I change my mind." He states, as he walks you outside again, leading you towards his car.

"I didn't mean to turn up so.. I don't know. Sorry." You said, and he gets into the drivers seat, shaking his head.

"I can understand you, trust me." He says, as he starts the engine and drives off. "If you're okay with it, I'd like to get something from my apartment, and then drive to yours." He says, and you tilt your head.

"Why not to the studio, or your place?" You ask, and he nods.

"While those are places I feel comfortable, they're unfamiliar to you. It's best if we start in a place that's comforting and gives you a sense of security." He states, and you nod.

Jungkook, in your eyes, never really seemed as mature as he's acting in those moments. It's as if he switches every time you two change topics; any time this particular one comes up, his mood changing into a serious one. Now, you're not stupid, you know the risks- and of course you had somewhat done your research online about the damages that could occur during all of this. And there's also the not too little chance it really isn't something for you after all- and in a way, that scares you. Because you want jungkook, but what if you don't want.. this?

Instead of voicing that out, you simply keep quiet as he gets out the car, and inside again after fetching what looks like an overnight bag. "You're staying over?" You ask, and he simply throws it on to the backseat.

"Maybe. We'll see." He says, and you don't question him as he drives. "Let's get something to eat. What're you craving?" He asks, as he keeps his attention on the road. He notices how you seem to think, already able to practically see the gears turning inside your head. "Don't think about what I could want. I asked what you want." He says, calmly, and so soft, that you simply let your words out.

"Tae usually get's me food.." You start, and Jungkook nods, as if understanding. You watch him smile a little.

"Let's get some junk food and eat it in the car." He simply states, and you nod, happy that he seemingly really did get what you were trying to say. For you, things like these were almost like rituals- like you and tae getting random icecream just to hurry home every time to not have it melt.

Maybe this would become a memory only for you and Jungkook.

"You're nervous." Jungkook says, speaking out what's obvious. You don't know what he'll do, you're confused whats in his bag- you're nervous, just like he said. "Why is that?" He asks, casually sitting on your bed with you. He had earlier told you not to panic-clean it; he was not there to be impressed. He was simply a visitor for now, nothing more, nothing less. You shrugged. There were a lot of reasons you were nervous. "If you want this to work, I need to have proper communication with you. Guessing will get me nowhere." He says, but his voice is not upset. He's simply informing you.

"I.. don't know what you'll do?" You say, and He smiles, sitting more comfortably, as he shows you his open hands.

"I'm not gonna do anything for the moment." He tells you, and you shrug.

"But wasn't that the plan?" You ask him.

"What would you want me to do then?" He asks instead, not answering your question. He's testing you, he want's to know if you really are aware of everything. He's also not only asking you about what you want him to do to you- but with you, as well. He was unsure if you wanted to romantically involve yourself with him, or simply explore something new at his side.

He's afraid he'd be okay with either, just because its you.

"Are you going to tie me up?" You ask, and Jungkook grins, before he laughs. You're growing shy, unsure, and he instantly makes sure you know he's simply laughing about what you said, not about you. His hand holds yours- and it's weirdly reassuring.

"No, although I can imagine you looking very pretty in that position." He says. "No, come here." He says, lays down on the bed, and you stay where you are, with reasonable distance between you two. "I want you to come as close to me as you feel comfortable. Don't force it- take your time. I'm not expecting anything, please remember that." He tells you calmly, not looking at you to give you mental distance from him as well. His eyes are actually closed, his body relaxed.

You don't move for a moment. You want to test how long he can really play this patient role- but after around five or ten minutes, he's still not moving. He's not even saying anything, and you're unsure if he's asleep or not.

There's only one way to find out.

You carefully lay down a little away from him, on your side, simply looking at him. It's weird to see him like that; you've always imagined him to be a very dominant and demanding person, from what you've heard and seen of him. But Jungkook doesn't feel like any of the guys you've been with; he also doesn't feel like Taehyung, or Yoongi, or Hoseok.. Jungkook, weirdly enough, feels comfortable. He's relaxed, and laid back, and still has that slight glint of power over you.

You move closer, your curiosity getting the best of you as scenes and pictures of him holding you fill your head. Is he even a cuddler? You can't imagine him being all soft and sweet for gestures like that, but then again, you didn't really think you'd ever be in a situation like this either. Maybe you were judging a book by its cover.

He smells nice- that's one of the first things you notice once you get closer. One of his arms is stretched out to the side- his tattooes visible, but partially hidden by his sweater sleeve. You want to look at them, so you test the waters- by touching his arm, just a small poke with your finger. You can see the corners of his lips twitch; he's definitely awake. You move his arm a little, inside facing you as you get a detailed look at his artworks. They're detailed, they fit him, the dark Ink a stark contrast to his skin.

His sweater seems soft.

You slowly lay down again, your head resting on his biceps as you simply lay for a moment.

This is nice.

You feel more and more bold with every minute that passes, not even minding the way he sometimes moves around. You're growing at ease, so much so, that you simply throw all hesitation out of the window, and cuddle up to him. one of your hands is on his chest, while your head rests ontop of the inside of his shoulder.

This is really nice.

"Are you falling asleep?" He asks, voice not loud at all, as his arm moves, palm resting on your forearm as he holds you. You don't mind it- you feel relaxed enough to really actually do fall asleep- so you nod. "That's good." He tells you.

"But didn't you bring stuff to try?" you ask, and Jungkook nods.

"We got time. A small nap is always a good idea." He tells you, and you simply nod- making him smile.

He's glad.

Because by falling asleep on him like that, you don't even know how much you've complimented him at all. You're relaxed enough around him, comfortable enough to let him close to you in a vulnerable state such as sleep. It makes him wonder how far you'd let him go- would you let anyone get so close so quickly? A sudden rush of protectiveness curses through his body, fills him up, as he swears he can't let you go now. No, what if someone else gets you like this? What if someone takes advantage of your open mind like that? He doesn't even want to imagine.

Jungkook really has it bad.

You slowly wake up to a bit of weight on your face. "jungkook what're you doing?" you giggle, and he chuckles as well as he takes the hand away from over your eyes. He looks well rested, with his eyes still not fully open.

"Nothing." He says. "Just teasing." He says, but of course, nothing he does is just random teasing. Everything he does is calculated- it's to test you, to study you, to make sure he gets to know you. "Are you hungry?" He asks instead.

"Not for food."

He has to let that process for a moment, until he laughs. He's really got it with you, he thinks, as he suddenly moves, eyes dark, while he's now ontop of you, his hands holding your wrists. Expecting you to look surprised, he finds none of that however. It intrigues him, the way you don't seem to be nervous or fearful at all. It makes him wonder what you'd really do to him if he was to advance in ways he wanted to. "Careful, sweetheart." He says, and your eyes sparkle with a silent challenge.

"Or what?"

His grip gets a bit tighter at that, eyes a bit darker. "Someone's eager." He says lowly. "Don't you think you're biting off more than you can chew right now?" He asks, before he clicks his tongue, slowly falling into his own headspace. He knows however not to let himself slip. "Give me a random word." He asks, demands, and you say whatever finds your mind in that moment.

"Bunny." You say.

He raises his eyebrow for a second, but doesn't question it. "I want you to say that, loud and clear, as soon as you feel uncomfortable." He lectures you seriously. "It doesn't matter what it is. Physically, or mentally, or if you simply don't want me to continue because. I need you to tell me that you will say it." His gaze is intense, and you nod. "I promise you; I'll never get mad, or upset, or angry, or disappointed with you. My ego isn't worth your safety." He humms out at the end, and your eyes soften.

He notices it instantly, and it affects him more than he'd like to admit.

"I promise I'll say it if I need to." You tell him, and he grows comfortable again.

"Can I touch you?" He asks, softly, and you nod, before verbally answering him with a yes. "Remember; I'll only ever have as much power and control over you as you will give me." He mumbles, head now dipped down to ghost his lips over the skin of your neck. "But once you give it to me-" He says, his knee situating itself in between your legs to spread them in a silent command. "-I won't give it back." He growls, before he bites down, releasing the skin after hearing your delicate mewl, kissing the spot as if to apologize.

He's not sorry.

"Let me ask you.." He says, feeling you rut against his leg that's pressed against your center. "what do you really want from me?" He asks, and you open your eyes, movements slowly coming to a halt as you notice the way he looks at you.

He almost looks uncertain.

"I.." You want him. You know that- you want all of his bad habits and weird quirks. You want to get to know him and everything that comes with it. Hell, he was the main reason you even got into the entire scene in the first place. "You." You say, deciding its best to practice honesty.

"Me?" He asks, genuinely a little confused.

You nod. "Yeah. You." You say. It's a little weird, the whole situation, but you don't mind it. Your hands slowly slip out of his grasp, before they instead intertwine their fingers with his. He feels weirdly caught off guard by the gesture- his past encounters and relationships never having included things like these. So much so, that Jungkook genuinely believed those things to be simple movie-gestures. Overdone, and not realistic. "Like uhm.. if you want to. If you just want to, you know, I.. guess I'd be okay with that too-" You say, looking away, as Jungkook answers.

"I want you too." He answers, eyes searching yours for any glimmer of dishonesty. But he doesn't find it- there is none. There's just you. "I really want you too." He murmurs out, getting closer, before he lets himself loose, his lips finding yours.

He's never been a fan of kissing, but he can very much already imagine kissing you for hours.

Its not just you letting go in that moment, its him too.

Because unbeknownst to you, he's not just opening you a door to his world of unspoken fantasies-

He's also opening his heart as well.

Your first time together is slow and comfortable.

It happens just a day after you had both decided to pursue an actual relationship with one another. He's gentle, careful, but not hesitant. He's exploring.

Inside of his head, he notes down every noise and every twitch of muscle. You sigh as he eats you out, the small ponytail of his unable to hold onto all of his hair as his eyes are partially hidden behind the blonde strands. He's watching you, his fingers having already stretched you out, but then he sits up. You whine, with him having stolen your release for a second time. "Let's play a little, yeah?" He says with an amused yet calm tone. You're already unable to do much about your position; your wrists bound to your bed over your head, carefully tied knots comfortable against your skin, as long as you don't pull. "Legs open." He calls out as you try and close them, and you whine again; testing his patience as you still go ahead and disobey his command. He watches, moves forward, before he pulls them apart again. "You want to cum, no?" He asks, and you nod, frustratedly so. "I wonder what made you think you've earned that reward from me." He tells you, eyes scanning your form as you pull on your restraints a little. He's not fully into his own headspace yet- he's still very much on high alert to notice any signs of discomfort coming from you.

He has to learn just as much as you do.

"You're lucky you're so sweet." He says, before he crawls closer again, his hand on your center, as he enters you with two fingers. Its not enough, but then his thumb draws circles on your clit- and you're approaching, quickly. "Hm? Won't you cum?" And then you say it.

"Can I?"

It's so desperate, so needy, so submissive, that it sends a chill down his spine. He moves closer, kisses your neck, as he can't help but let the rush of it get to him. He is, after all, just as desperate for release. No matter if its his, or yours.

"Such a good girl, of course you can." He tells you. "What a sweet one, such good manners.." He teases playfully, and you tug at your restraints as you come undone under his hands. He unties your wrists and you're holding onto him as soon as you're free, and he lets you hold onto him in your post orgasmic bliss.

Its after a moment that you realize it.

"Wait-" You say, sitting up to look at him. "You- I mean, you didn't get to-" You start, but Jungkook waves it off.

"Its fine, really." He tells you, and you know he's serious. "I'll just wait until it goes down, or take care of it in your bathroom if thats okay with you." He says, patting the side next to him to lay down on. "Come here." He asks, and you comply, before you speak again.

"You.." You start, not looking at him. "Could just take care of it here." You say. "Or I could.." you start, and he looks at you.

"Do you want that, or do you only feel like you have to?" He asks, and you shrug. You take some time, before you answer.

You've seen most of Jungkook until now. From his strong arms, his back, his inked skin, to his thighs and legs. You have seen all- but that. And you've never really considered giving anything back in that way to anyone because of one single embarrassing moment- but with Jungkook, for some reason, you wanted to try.

"I want to." You say, and he nods. "But I don't know how.." You say, and he smiles reassuringly.

"I'll guide you." He tells you, before he scans your face. He's never really felt that desired- at least not in the way he does in that moment with you. "You can take it out for starters." He says, and you nod, before you hesitate a little.

Jungkook is nice, when it comes to that. He's patient, always lets you do the pacing for now, until you trust him enough. This is only the start, after all. You stay cuddled up to his side, but your hand ventures towards his sweats, where you can see his prominent erection still waiting. Slowly, you push the fabric down, both his sweats and boxers underneath- his hips lifting a bit to make it easier for you, until he's freed from his clothes.

You've never really thought much about looks when it came to that department, but Jungkook was, in each and every way, highly attractive. Now you knew, that there was literally nothing about him you didn't desire.

Your first touches are a little hesitant, testing the waters, and Jungkook tries not to react too much to it to give you time. Its when you start to move your hand however, that he closes his eyes, head now completely resting on the pillows beneath as he just decides to enjoy what you might give him. His hips twitch upwards a little after you'd run your thumb over the head, precum glistening while your hand uses it as lubricant to move more smoothly.

He sighs out.

And you grow bold at that, moving to sit up and escape out of his embrace, before you dip down to feed your curiosity. As your tongue touches his skin, his muscles contract, the action not expected since he didn't look what you were doing. You've been told once before that you're not.. the best at this- but Jungkook made you want to try. If you would've looked, you would've spotted the intense stare that Jungkook had been sending your way; mesmerized by the way you tucked your hair behind your ear oh so sweetly, before you let a drop of saliva escape from between your lips, taking him in soon after it had dropped onto his awaiting length.

You really were something else.

He'd gotten head time and time before, and it was never something he didn't like- but he'd also rarely ever cared that much emotionally about the person giving it to him. It's weird, how an emotional connection can make you so much more sensitive to things- such as in that moment, as your tongue moved over his skin while inside your warm mouth, lips heavenly on his cock.

He couldn't imagine what it would be like to be inside you.

There's nothing he could teach you, nothing he could tell you to do, as you moved, sucked and licked. He was breathing heavily already, his hand finding yours as you hold onto it. He sits up, can't help it, has to somehow touch you while you're not letting go of your task. His palm escapes your hand, rests on your head instead, runs through your hair before it grips a little. You moan, vibrations making him throw his head back as he groans out, feeling his end coming closer. "If you don't want to swallow, let go." He grits out, but you suck harder instead, and its when your hand finds his balls that he lets himself fall back onto the mattress beneath, shooting his load into your mouth as you swallow it down.

He's on cloud nine.

You're thoughtful enough to pull his underwear and pants back up, laying on your stomach next to him, waiting, watching, with impish eyes. He looks so radiant, so relaxed, so at ease. It fills you with a weird sense of pride; since in a way, its your doing. "Why did you tell me you don't know how to do that." He comments, rather than asks, slowly calming his breathing back down. His eyes open, hand pushing some hair out of your face. "Thank you. That was amazing." He says, and you shrug.

"Thanks for the compliment." You say, looking at him.

"I have a request." He says, and you nod. "Not like that." He teases, making you blush. "No, but seriously." Jungkook knows that you've been with other people before. It scares him to know that some of your experiences might not have been good- he knows some absolute horror stories Taehyung had told him. "I want you to take all that you've experienced with your former partners.. all those moments, emotions, bad memories, all of it." He tells you, hand now resting on your cheek- a gesture in which you lean into. "And throw them away. Forget them." He tells you.

"This is a new start, for both of us."

"How many clients have you been with?" You ask, casually sitting on the kitchen counter as Jungkook washes the dishes. Its your first night in his apartment, and you're more comfortable than you thought you'd be.

"None." He tells you, and you're ready to snort out a laugh, but he doesn't look at all like he's joking. Seeing your confusion, he continues while scrubbing a plate. "None of us actually have sex with our clients. Some only come to talk, really- others come to let go." He explains, and you nod. "I've never touched, nor been with someone intimately during a scene." He tells you.

"So you had scenes with your partners then?" You ask, and he shrugs.

"In the beginning, yeah." He admits, shrugging. "But I eventually gave up on it. It's not something a lot of people find very appealing. It all looks great in theory, but when practiced, most find its not for them." Draining the sink, he dries his hands on the dish towel, before putting it in its proper place.

"Could you.. imagine a relationship without it?" You ask, and he sighs, shaking his head.

"Not really." He looks at you after a moment. "Its who I am, and its how I love. I can't change that." He tells you, and you nod. Its understandable really, and you like that he has clear lines he likes to follow. It's weirdly comforting to know that he has his life so under control- its all you've ever wanted really.

It's something Jungkook might be able to give you.

It was weird, the feeling of the rope against your skin. He’d been right about it earlier; it wasn’t rough or itchy at all. But maybe that was just because it was him doing it. Maybe he was simply fogging up your senses.

It would make sense.

“Okay?” He humms out, voice gentle and calm while he stops his hands for a moment, palm on your shoulder where it warms up your skin. You’re unsure what okay really means- okay like, he’s finished? Or is he asking if you’re okay? Or is he asking for permission? “Speak to me- don’t just think.” He says, eyes watching you in such a manner that made your slightly trembling body calm down.

“I’m not sure what- what you mean by, okay.” You say, and he smiles, eyes roaming over your body for a moment, but surprisingly not in a way that would make you feel exposed. You’re almost naked, after all- only your most private parts hidden from his sight. You can see the very evident tent in his pants; but he doesn’t seem like he’s frustrated or fazed about it.

“Good Job telling me.” He says first and foremost, and you start to feel warm inside. “I was asking if you were okay. Do you remember your colors?” He asks, and you nod, before verbally answering him with a ‘yes’. He nods again, a hand running over your head, fingers running through your hair affectionately. “Good. I’ll finish the last knots now- remember you can stop at any time. Don’t hesitate.” He says, and you nod.

He grabs the rope again; the tiny fact that he’d chosen one in your favorite color making you feel.. well, you didn’t know. You could feel your nose sting, before it shot into your eyes, making them water; something that Jungkook immediately noticed. “Color?” He asks, and you shake your head.

“Green, Green, I’m okay-“ you say, but you can’t stop the tears. He’s quick to sit down in front of you after tying the last knot- and it’s the first time you quietly look at them. They’re so delicate, so well done, but there’s no time to dwell on it as he lifts you chin gently.

“Talk to me.” He says, hands on your shoulders to give you some sense of stability. You’re safe, you don’t feel bad, but just..

“I don’t know. There’s so much-“ you begin, and he softly smiles, as if you’re not currently completely bound with no chance of proper movement. You take a deep breath, holding it before you release again, silently following the advices he’d given you prior. “Why do I feel so.. comfortable? I feel safe even though I’m in such a dangerous situation- I’m.. this is weird isn’t it, I should be.. I don’t know. Why’re you not doing anything? Wasn’t this supposed to be like, a sex session or something I don’t get it-“ you babble, and he lets you, before he speaks.

“You still don’t quite get it, do you?” He asks, and your glistening eyes stare up at him. “I don’t need something as simple as sex to feel satisfied.” He explains, and you nod, even though you don't quite understand. "I feel euphoric right now, even though you probably won't quite believe me." He says, his smile evident as his fingers trace the knots on your skin. It's there that you see it; the glimmer in his eyes, something you've never seen before with someone else. "The fact that you let me do this, it's all I need." He humms out. He looks at you, a silent question, and you take a deep breath.

You don't quite know what you're doing. Its weird- but seeing him like that makes you feel weightless. It happens slowly, you don't quite grasp what it is, but the feeling is nice. It's like letting go- like standing on the highest platform of the universe and just jumping down. And when you open your eyes, all you see is him.

He can't take his eyes off of you.

He's seen it often enough to spot it, knows what it looks like, but it still holds such a deep meaning to him to see you fall into your subspace for the very first time. You're so beautiful like that, so ethereal and enchanting as you lean forward to get closer to him. He's careful you dont accidentally hurt yourself with the big scissors on the bed close by- emergency equipment to release you asap if needed.

He knows escape is the furthest thing on your mind right now.

Able to do anything he'd want with you, he's not like that however. He's responsible enough to let you float for a moment, before he speaks to you again. "Baby?" He asks, and you nod, nuzzling his shoulder as he holds you close. "You're doing so good. Can you do something for me baby?" He questions again, and you nod, not parting from him however before he talks again. "Can you sit straight for a moment? Just like that, good girl." He praises as you instantly follow his command. "I got you, okay? I got you, you're safe." He repeats, as he slowly unties your body. It's careful reassuring and slow movements that make it possible to untie you- too quickly could make you drop; a state of sudden shift in mental state, that could send you straight into distress. Jungkook doesn't ever want to be the cause of that for you.

You're underneath him, and he's careful, as he undresses after placing the scissors onto the bedside table where it cant lead to any accidents. He also reaches inside the table, pulling out a condom from a box safely stored, before he gets himself ready.

Not even for a second is his attention not on you however.

"Hands up baby." He commands, and you do as he wants, already squirming as he advances towards you, fingers stretching you out as you grow huffy at the prospect of being edged again. He's quick to catch on though. "Hm, I'm not gonna be mean baby." He tells your fuzzy mind. "But I gotta get you ready, no?" Fingers steadily helping you relax, he waits until he deems you ready.

You struggle to keep your hands up as he enters you, but your mind is adamant on keeping his command. He groans out, kisses your neck, as he slowly begins to move lazily. It's enough for pleasure- but not enough to make you cum. "Good fucking girl. Look at you. My baby." He chants, and something inside you stirs at the last words.

His Baby.

You're his.

He wants you.

It makes you whine as he chuckles, nipping at your skin. "You can touch me baby, good job." He says, and your hands are instantly around his neck. You're mumbling something, but its not words. It's not coming out the way you think it does, and Jungkook doesn't mind, doesn't care. Its another one of those things fueling him up, urging him on.

You're his perfect puzzle piece.

He lets go.

"Turn around princess." He says breathless, and you follow his instructions eagerly. His hand rests on the back of your neck for a moment, leaves its place for a second to move your hair away from your face, before he gently pushes down. He's inside in a heartbeat, this time thrusting with more strength.

Something overcomes him that hasn't happened before.

Usually, this position is what he loves most- and yet, it's not what he wants. He wants you, he wants you close, he cant touch you enough. His arms snake around your torso, just underneath the bottom of your breasts, as he pulls you towards him. Your back arches so prettily, and he gasps out, breathing heavy as he continues his attack on your neck. "You're mine." He growls out, can't keep it inside anymore, his grip on you tightening. "Mine." His thrusts stutter, his hand reaches for your center, desperate fingers helping you find your release. It coats your thighs, stains the bed, and he pushes himself as deep as he can once he finishes himself.

He's breathing heavily, he's out of his mind, running on autopilot as his hands still hold you. He pulls out after a moment, a whine from you getting reassured by his own voice, before he leaves the bed, getting a warm damp washcloth ready for you. He's careful, gentle, seems to caress your skin more than clean it, places kisses every now and then and sends praises your way.

"How do you feel?" He asks, voice low and caring as he continues his aftercare.

"Like you love me a lot." You sleepily say, eyes still foggy, and he smiles.

"Good." He tells you, reaching out to kiss your lips, still high on his own afterglow. "That's how you're always supposed to feel like."

"I've quit." He tells you one night on the couch, as you sit close to him. You'd asked him about his sidejob at Yoongi's- and this was his answer. Instantly, you sit up straight, fearing that he might've felt obligated because of you. "Before you start, yes, it was because of you." He says, and you already have the whine in your throat- but it doesn't make it out, as his fingers lazily trace your collarbone peaking out from his shirt you're wearing. "But it was also my decision. I just didn't enjoy it anymore- and you're more I could ever want really." He says, shrugging as you stare at him.

It was still new to you.

Although you knew that he was probably more than just a wild loverboy collecting partners and gaming all day, you never would've thought of him like this. He's a kid at heart still, teasing and playfighting every now and then- but he's mostly a strong shoulder to lean on for you. He really is the security and safety you'd always searched for. "What're you thinking about?" He asks, pulling you closer as he continues watching the TV show.

"You." You say, and he chuckles.

"Cute." He answers. He looks at you for a moment, TV long forgotten, before you crawl over his lap, shirt rising enough to give him free view of your thighs and panties. You've skipped the pants tonight- a habit of yours he enjoys a lot. His palms instantly find the soft skin, running along the outside of your thighs before they find your behind, squeezing, before he slaps it playfully. He grins as you squeal, admiring the way the very tips of your ears turn red. "You're really precious, you know that?" He tells you, and you shrug. "You are." He confirms, and you smile shyly.

"May I kiss you?" You ask, and he smiles warmly.

"We're not in a scene baby, do as you wish." He tells you, and you nod, leaning forward to capture his lips with yours. Its a feeling you can't quite get enough of, and it seems like he enjoys it equally as much. His inked hands find their way underneath your shirt, running over your back and spine as you shudder. He doesn't find what he seeks, your underwear long gone and left in the bedroom, and he loves it, instantly moves to your chest where he finds the soft flesh, his thumb running over one of your nipples teasingly. You're arching your back already, moving around as if you can't sit still. "My baby." He mumbles out, "If you can be so kind and get me a condom, you can ride me if you want to." He tells you, and you nod.

By now you easily know your way around his apartment.

So its no wonder you quickly return from your now shared bedroom, condom in hand as you approach him again, settling onto his lap. You're not shy with him nor his body anymore, eagerly taking the condom out of the package for him to roll it down onto his length. "You good?" He asks, and you nod, pulling your panties aside as you slowly sink down on him.

He lets his head rest back on the couch, and you lean into him, for a change returning the favor of kissing his neck. He's grinning, throughoutly enjoying things, and you love watching him. It's a visual reminder to yourself that this is your doing. You're making him feel that way, and no one else. It makes you confident, and it makes you feel cherished in ways you haven't felt before.

Once you start to move, Jungkooks hands help you along. Its slow and lazy, not at all hurried. There's no real goal; you probably wouldn't even mind not cumming at all. This was just being close- a way of feeling connected in the most intimate of ways. Connected like only lovers could be.

You love him.

And it slips out as a tiny 'I love you' in between your sighs and gasps, and he hears it so clearly, he can't help himself but speed up the pace.

"I love you too." He chants out, kissing the side of your head as you rest against his chest, head on his shoulder. "I love you so much." He says, almost inaudible, his arms holding you as close as he can.

Jeon Jungkook doesn't need sex to feel satisfied.

But he will most certainly need you for now and forever.

And he's totally fine with that.

(c)Bonny-Kookoo. You know the drill. I know where you live. I don't. But still. Be scared. Boo.

[luvyanfei]

anon said. how about fluffy hcs with xiao, zhongli and xingqui taking their s/o out on a first date?

XIAO.

he already finds it difficult just to ask you to hold him without losing his cool, so how can he possibly bring up the idea of inviting you on a date? actually, he probably never knew the word ‘date’ even existed until he heard a passing couple staying over at wangshu inn dreamily talking about how they wish they could go to see the lantern rite festival in liyue harbor together for their first date. a first date, huh? now that he thinks about it, xiao never did properly try to court you, did he? it was always you who approached him first, who held your hand out to him, who confessed that you love him. you’re already giving so much dedication in this relationship. it’s the least he can do to return your affections, not just because he’s feeling a bit indebted, but because he’s your lover. unfortunately, being the awkward yaksha that he is, xiao overthinks the situation and complicates it more than he should.

every chance he gets is blown up by his anxiousness. whenever you come and visit him at the inn, you almost think that he’s angry with you from the way he throws you vicious glares. unbeknownst to you, xiao is actually making that tense face because he’s trying very hard, too hard in fact, to think of the best way to ask you out on a date and seeing you just makes him all the more nervous. he regrets it every time you step into the elevator while giving him a goodbye wave and saying you’ll come visit again. sure, he gets another chance to try and ask you out again, but he also has another chance to fail as well.

when you visit him for lunch, xiao quickly rehearses the words he wants to say to you in the back of his head before coming to greet you. ‘i overheard from a guest in the inn talking about a lantern rite festival. if you mortal, no, [name], desires to go, i can possibly set aside time to accompany you.’ keep it cool, yet short. taking a deep breath to compose himself, xiao walks over to greet you, er, well actually, you’re the one doing the greeting instead, and you settle down to eat. the sweet taste of the almond tofu that you generously bought for him blossoms in his mouth and he loses track of time till your departure. before you leave once more to allow the poor yaksha to wallow in his self-regret again, you stop yourself and turn around to face xiao. tucking your hair behind your ear and giving your best, most radiant smile you can offer to him, you shyly ask if he’d like to tag along with you to the lantern rite festival. “we’ve never been on a date before and i’d love to go to the festival with you and release xiao lanterns together.”

... what? how? his mouth almost opens up in disbelief, as he struggles to keep a stoic expression. ex-excuse him?! that’s supposed to be his line! he’s in shock at how easily you were able to say something that he’s been having trouble sputtering out. you mortals never fail to surprise him. he shakes his head and bitterly scowls, that you almost step back in fright. almost, until he starts speaking, that is. “why is it you? i should have been the one to ask you on a date first, not you!” he’s almost on the brink of tears from the frustration he currently holds on himself. 

a relationship is always about give and take, no? it’s like when zhongli has so kindly decided to save him from the clutches of the cruel abuse he endured endlessly, of course he was forever in debt to rex lapis. surely, it’s the same with you, isn’t it? when xiao tells you this, you immediately start laughing. you calmly explain to him that your relationship isn’t like a form of contract where he’s expected to always repay you back for every gift you give to him. as long as he’s there for you, that’s more than enough of a reward, you say, before plopping a chaste kiss to his cheek.  

“finally, you’re here. what took you so long?” xiao speaks to you with indifference concealing the relief that you actually came. he trails his sharp eyes to inspect your dressed up form and blushes slightly. “you look nice.”

immediately, your eyes widen at his underhanded compliment. did- did you hear that right? biting his lower lip gently, xiao clasps your hand in his, ignoring your astounded reaction, as he squeezes it reassuringly while watching the colourful fireworks light up the murky night.

without thinking, he turns to you when you’re focused on the display of bursting lights reflecting in your eyes, and murmurs to himself softly, “i hope you’ll spend the rest of your time with me, for however long it’ll last.”

XINGQIU.

of course, a date with xingqiu has to be extravagant and sophisticated to the last touch, right? guess again. he may come from a wealthy family, but that doesn’t mean he shares the same interest a selfish, pampered noble may have. he prefers something more simple, yet sentimental. confined in his household with nothing to do but bury his head in a book, he’s picked up some ideas for your date from the romance stories he’s read. surprisingly, they’re all rather cliché.  

the first thing he makes you guys do is go out in the blazing summer day to get yourselves a cool beverage. he explicitly asks the cashier to give him one straw [do they even exist in the game?] and smiles slyly as he thanks them and brings the drinks to you. when you ask about it, thinking that maybe he forgot, all he does is smirk before saying, “there’s no need, my liege. we can share, unless you’d rather melt in the sweltering sun, that is.” he winks teasingly. you... don’t really have much of a choice in the matter. as you stroll around the harbor together, you take turns drinking from the only straw and a wave of consciousness washes over you gradually. wait, isn’t this like an indirect kiss? you place a hand to your gaping mouth after sucking on the straw that xingqiu pressed his lips on merely seconds ago. you should know by now, how bold he is underneath his polite façade. 

after you finish sipping your drink - tediously at that, you both agree on going to the library to read books together since the heat is pretty unbearable to do anything enjoyable. xingqiu recommends you to try reading some of his personal favorites and you do the same as well. he’s thrilled to have a reading buddy now since it’s boring being here by himself. 

while you’re immersed in the novel that you randomly picked from the bookshelf, every now and then, xingqiu will look up from the pages of his book and faintly smile to himself, glad that you’re enjoying yourself.

the sun was setting and the stars started to appear in the pastel pink and orange of the evening sky. you place back the last book and stretch your arms, before turning to xingqiu. sighing, you give him a quick goodbye kiss on the cheek and softly say your farewell.

as you’re about to make your leave for the day, xingqiu halts you with his words, “wait. there’s something i need to do before we can end this date.” nonchalantly, he plucks a book from its shelf, opens its pages, and uses it to block the sunlight drifting through the transparent window glass, effectively shielding his vision from the public eye as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss.

his free hand finds its way combing through the back of your head to deepen the kiss. when he’s satisfied enough, the boy detaches his lips from yours and lightly rubs the flesh of your cheek with a finger, while placing the book down on a nearby table. you keep your eyes fixated on him as he licks the edges of his lips.

“that felt nice,” xingqiu murmurs, “you’re so sweet, i’d hate for anyone else to savor in this pleasant moment with you other than i. shall we continue this again on our next date too?”

ZHONGLI.

the first thing he does is make sure to bring mora, this time. it would be highly inconsiderate of mr. zhongli to have you pay for the expenses of this fine date. he’s one to take things nice and slow. sure, time is unfortunately measured and limited, but he wants to make the most of it with you, a mortal who, just like any other being, has a beginning and end to your life. zhongli wants to shower you in all the beauty and joy this world has to offer while you’re still here with him.

he may be a gentle-spoken and polite individual, but please don’t mistaken him as being shy in any way. he shows up to your residence one afternoon and presents you a bouquet of your preferred flowers while he asks if you would consider accompanying him on a date. you take the bundled up flowers, carefully stroking a petal as if it’s made of fragile glass and accepts his proposal with open arms. 

he takes you out to an expensive restaurant in the night of liyue and helps you select the best dishes. after you’re finished with your lavish and sophisticated meals, zhongli ushers you outside where you’re greeted with fresh air, a contrast to the suffocation you felt back at the restaurant. sure, the place is grand and your hunger is well-satiated, yet despite wearing your best clothing, you felt out of place there, like a commoner surrounded by nobles. 

when you express your earlier discomfort to zhongli, his eyes are filled with shame and he’s already apologizing like the gentleman he is. guiltily, you tell him it’s fine and you ask if you can show him something before you have to head on home. he ponders in thought before agreeing, walking hand in hand with you to your unknown destination. 

the chilling night breeze bites at your bare skin as you instantly shiver. this doesn’t go unnoticed in zhongli’s sharp eyes and he’s already unbuttoning his jacket. he drapes the coat over your shoulder blades and rubs his gloved hands on your cold fingertips to preserve warmth. “are you feeling cold perhaps? maybe we should head back?” you stop him before he can guide you back to the harbor. 

“i’m okay now. thank you for your concern.” you say to ease his poor mind. he nods and you both continue on. the walk uphill takes a while, but it’s worth it when you finally reach the top. your eyes widen in amazement as you witness the glimmering stars splayed across the pitch darkness of the sky. “zhongli, look. do you like it?” he simply nods, but all of his attention is focused on you.

zhongli grins down at your childishly excited face, pausing for a hesitant minute before he carefully places his hands on top of your shoulders. you look up at him in confusion and is about to question him, but any sound that comes out is cut off by his lips ensnaring yours in a kiss. you’re astounded by his intimate move, but you revel in his touch in a matter of seconds. 

he hopes, as he tightens his hold, that you’ll stay with him always, till your last breath. 

tagging. @scarymoosh

[smol-and-grumpy]

What I Want Most - Six (FIN)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean’s life has been all work and no play lately. When Gabe, his friend, coerced him into tagging along to a club, he couldn’t say no as Gabe has been pestering him for a while now. What Dean didn’t expect was that he’d meet his match in that club in the form of a stunning woman with underlying daddy issues.

Warnings: Daddy kink, butt plug, public sex, office sex, FEELINGS

Word Count: 2837

Beta’d by: @deanwanddamons​​​​​ <3

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

The week went by so fast and the execs said that there would be another week of competition since they were both doing so well, making it hard for them to make up their minds.

Dean didn’t know right then if he should be happy or sad about it.

There were more pranks being pulled, more inappropriateness shared in their office. 

One time he woke up with her sucking him off, making him come right into her throat and he rewarded her with letting her sit on his face. He absolutely loved to be smothered by her pussy. He also totally forgot about the time or what day it was so he turned up late to his meeting only because he wanted to give her more orgasm than the last time he let her mount his face.

He once fingered her right in a meeting, had her gush and come around his fingers and when everyone was making an exit, she had to stay back and clean her chair. Dean couldn’t stop laughing once she got back into the office, which earned him another round of the silent treatment for the rest of the work day. 

The next day, she did the same to him, rubbed over his clothed dick so good that she made him cum right in his pants while Garth was babbling about fucking stock markets. Dean had to go home to fucking change his pants and since then, he took some more pants and underwear with him, stashed them in his desk drawer in case of emergencies like these.

Y/N had spent the weekend with him, though. So there’s that. And they didn’t just fuck and that’s progress. They went on walks, went out for dinner, did some shopping for naughty things and he really bought her a butt plug. She said that she wants to try it, but he shouldn’t push her. He didn’t. Instead, he let her take it home but he asked her if she could send him a picture when she uses it. She just laughed it off, even though he wasn’t even joking and was dead serious about it.

Spending time with her felt good. It was familiar, it was like he had known her for so long already and not just a little more than a week. And the sex, Jesus, the sex was incredible. But aside of that fucking mindblowing sex, he really enjoyed her company. 

 *

 The working week after their weekend together started just like the previous one ended. With some office rivalry to warm up. 

Monday, she brought him coffee and poured salt in it. Dean spat it out all over his screen and keyboard, and it was ten minutes after that he finished, she finally stopped giggling like a goddamn idiot.

They still tried to keep the other one from showing up for work on time, but it didn’t really end well, and on Wednesday, they were both late. 

Somehow, Dean really hoped that it’ll be over and done with by the end of the week because he doesn’t think that he can keep this up any longer. 

It’s now Thursday and he’s fucking exhausted by the tension, but it’s also now that he realizes something.

He came back from a lunch meeting to see her standing by the shelf, holding a binder in her hand and reading through it. He doesn’t know what it is but he’s mesmerized by the level of her concentration and she’s wearing her glasses and absolutely looks like a naughty librarian with her pencil skirt and high heels. Definitely looks delicious enough to be devoured.

And Dean can’t stop himself from standing behind her, pressing his body to her backside,  feeling her soft and warm in front of him. His dick grows uncomfortably fast, swells up with lust and the rest of the blood goes to his heart as it starts to pump faster.

He dips his face down, nuzzles his nose along her neck. It’s like the first night they met. His hand skims along her body down to her thighs and she fucking lets him, like the good girl she is. 

“Dean,” She says, “We shouldn’t,” 

“Why?” He mumbles against her skin, “You look so good, baby, want you so bad,”

It’s the truth. He’s so hard he could pound nails and she hasn’t done anything yet. He’s whipped. Dean knows that too.

“Because I don’t think you can be quiet,” She pushes the binder back onto the shelf and turns around. Her hands play with his tie, wraps it around in her hand to pull him down for a kiss.

“Why?” He asks again, breathing hot air against her lips and she chuckles. 

It wouldn’t be the first time they fuck in the office and he’s been holding himself up pretty good when they do it.

“Because of this,” Her hands leave his chest to skim down the side of her body. She turns back to face the shelf and lifts up her skirt past her round ass. 

And then he sees it and it’s like someone had punched the air out of his lungs. Dean’s not able to breathe right. Jesus, even his cock starts to twitch violently at the sight. She bends forward and spreads her ass with her hands, granting him a better view and possible access.

“Fucking hell, baby,” He mumbles, still can’t believe what he’s seeing. There’s a black diamond looking out of her asshole. She has used the butt plug he bought her. Dean swallows, “How long have you been wearing it?”

Y/N shrugs, “Since this morning,”

“My fucking god, Y/N, fuck,” 

“You like it?”

“Like it?” He asks and he runs over to the door, locks it just to be fucking safe. When Dean’s back behind her, he gets down on his knees, using his hands to help her keep her ass spread as he dives into her cunt, licking and sucking at it. She hasn’t worn any panties, and has stopped wearing them to work for a couple of days now because she said that there’s no point if she’s going to ruin them every day anyway.

He trails his tongue back over her rim to her ass, the tip of his tongue tickles around the plug and she moans as she presses her body closer against the shelf.

“I fucking love it. That’s fucking beautiful, baby,” Dean coos, and he pulls at the plug just a little, sees her asshole widening before he pushes it in only to repeat it again. God, he could just spend his day doing this because it also elicits the sweetest fucking moans out of her, “You did that for me, huh?”

“Only for you, daddy,” She says sweetly, almost too sweet. His heart aches as much as his cock.

Dean's hands leave her ass to open up his belt and feels relief when he pulls down his zipper and releases his throbbing dick. He spits into his palm, jerks himself off to the sight in front of him. He bites into that ass too, can’t stop himself from doing it and she lets out a squeal, accompanied by a chuckle.

“Baby girl, I wanna fuck you bad, and I know that we should probably move this to the bed but fuck, I need a taste,” He jerks himself faster, is already leaking profoundly, “Can I, please?”

He looks up to see her nodding and Dean stands back up, leans over to her to kiss her properly. His tongue goes in deep, swirls around her own tongue in her mouth. 

“I’ll be gentle,” He promises and there’s another nod of approval, “Spread your cheeks for me, baby,”

Her hand goes back to her ass, grips at her flesh and spreads it out for him. He groans at the sight and tries to hold himself together, tries not to lose himself before he even gets to be inside.

Dean spits into his hand, slathers his cock with his own spit before he guides the tip to her pussy, letting the head catch the rim and pushes in just a little. 

“Fuck,” He groans, “It’s already so fucking tight,”

His hand goes to her head, making her tilt it to the side and he leans forward as he pushes in further, watching the reaction on her face before he presses a kiss on her temple and along her cheek. 

“So good, baby, such a good girl for me,” He whispers low and has to stall when he bottoms out, “You feel fucking amazing. You were tight before, but fuck!” He moves out of her slowly, moves in again, “How does it feel for you? Are you okay?”

“God,” Y/N breathes out, “Full, feels so full… but it feels good,”

Dean chuckles as he noses along her temple, “That’s good, want it to be good for you too,” He whispers as he moves in and out of her unbearably tight cunt in a slow pace.

“Daddy?”

“Huh? What’s wrong, baby?”

“Can you fuck me harder and faster?” She arches her back for emphasis, drives her ass against his dick, making him go in deeper than before.

“Jesus Christ,” Dean growls, “I don’t know if I can last long if I fuck you harder, baby,”

“Please? For me? You can fuck me again later, but I want it hard now, daddy,”

“Goddammit,” Dean grits his teeth and he pushes his body away from her, smacks her ass before he digs his fingers into her hips and begins to fuck her harder, “You know I can’t say no to you, right? You fucking know it and you always use it to your advantage,” He pants and keeps fucking her hard, “Gonna spread you out tonight, baby, spank you for thinking that you’ll always get your way,”

He can feel her pussy clenching at the mention of the spanking. She is definitely something else and Dean would be damned if he’d let her go.

“You love it when I’m bratty,”

“Damn right, I do,” 

Yeah, he does. Very much. 

He spanks down on her ass again, making her yelp up and then he feels it, the tight squeeze, the wetness that surrounds his cock. She just fucking came from his cock and the buttplug alone. It’s the best fucking thing.

With a groan, Dean comes too. It’s impossible to hold out longer, not when her pussy’s so fucking tight. He might try that ass tonight if she’ll let him. His hands are on her ass, kneading it as he comes down from his high. 

Dean chuckles when he pulls out of her and Y/N lets out a soft whine. His dick comes out with a blotch of his cum. They will need to clean the floor. Again. It’s not the first time.

He quickly walks over to his desk and pulls out tissues from the drawer, walks back with them to clean her up and himself before he cleans the cum from the floor. Dean places a kiss on each of her ass cheeks and one square on that black diamond head of the butt plug before he pulls her skirt back over her ass where it belongs. 

When he tucks himself back too, he grabs her by the waist and turns her around, kisses her soft and long, “I have to be somewhere but you’ve gotta wait for me before you go home, okay?”

“‘K,” She says and Dean leaves a kiss on her forehead before he makes his way out.

  Dean’s been gone for a long time, and it’s already past 6.00 PM. She’s finished with her task for today and is sitting at her desk, trying to sort emails and go over the tasks for tomorrow just to occupy her time. He said she should wait, but he’s taking so long.

After he left she had already opened the windows to get the sex stink out. She has also gone to the bathroom and cleaned herself thoroughly down there and pulled out her panties from her drawer, and even wears a pad. She hates to soil her skirt with his cum when she’s not wearing underwear

It’s 6.34 PM when Dean comes back. 

“Uh,” He says, with his hands in his pockets, and he looks somber. Clearly, something’s wrong, “They are expecting you in the boardroom.”

“What?” She frowns, “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Dean shrugs as he walks back behind his desk, “I wouldn’t keep them waiting,”

“Okay?” Her heart starts to race and she wants to ask Dean more, but apparently, she’s wanted now and it seems to be important so she gets up, and before she closes the door, she sends him a glance, Dean nods with only the smallest of a smirk on his face.

The offices are mostly empty at this time of the night. Occasionally people would stay longer, but the majority already went home. Her heels click against the stone floor and her heart almost jumps out of her chest the closer to the boardroom she gets. 

Mrs. Mills and Mr. Turner are already waiting. 

“Please, take a seat,” Mrs. Mills says and points to the chair. 

She takes a seat and notices that the chair’s still warm. Dean must have been in here. She can still smell the traces of his cologne. What just happened? Did he rat her out? Will they tell her now that he got the job and not her?

“Miss Y/L/N, let’s cut to the chase because we all would like to go home now. The reason we asked you to come in here is that we would like to offer you the job.”

Her eyes widen.

“I- uh, really?”

“Yeah, congratulations,” Mr. Turner chimes in, “You’ve done remarkably well for someone who just started two weeks ago. You were determined, you did your research well and you always had good arguments to prove your point. We are sure that you’ll be a great addition to the partner team.”

“Wow,” She huffs out, “But what about Mr. Winchester?”

“He was actually the one who told us to choose you and brought good points to the table,” It was Mrs. Mills who spoke, “He’ll be keeping his job, but you’ll move into your new office on Monday. We’ll get the contract on your desk by tomorrow,”

Dean did what?

Why?

Oh my god. And then it dawns on her. She got the job! She really got the job! 

“Okay, thank you so much,”

“It’s our pleasure,” Mrs. Mills stands up from her seat and she does too. The two of them shake her hand before they disappear and she waits until they are gone but she’s too giddy and barely can contain herself. 

When both of them were out of earshot, she runs towards the office she shares with Dean, hopes so fucking much that he’s still here. 

Y/N’s out of breath when she opens the door. Dean looks up from his screen, but he knows because he’s grinning. He rolls his chair back, beckons her over with a hand gesture. 

And she goes in willingly, takes off her shoes and sits into his lap, curls herself against his body as he holds her. 

She feels safe with his arms wrapped around her. And as independent and strong as she may be, she enjoys that he’s taking care of her. Absolutely loves how he cares beyond the incredible sex they have.

“Why?”

“What?” Dean asks. The bass of his voice rumbles in his chest.

“Why did you tell them to choose me? They would have chosen you.”

He chuckles, “I don’t think they would have. You’re clearly the better candidate. You’ve shown that you can do anything when you set your mind to it and even though you didn’t know the company, you still did better than me,”

“Why did you give up the promotion? You didn’t want it?” She nuzzles her face into the crook of his neck, smelling the scent she’s grown to love. 

“Not really, to be honest. My brother is moving into the city soon. We are going to try and open our own business one day so it isn’t bad if I have some money on the side until our business takes off. So, you know, I wanted the job, at least a part of me wanted it,” He pauses to place a kiss on her forehead, “But then I realized that I shouldn’t risk what I want most for something I want now,” 

Pulling her head back she looks at him, sees him smiling. 

“What do you want most?” She asks with a beating heart because she thinks she knows. She would just love to hear him say it.

“You,” He says, pulls her close by the back of her neck. He kisses her soft and gentle, “I want you so much,”

She can’t say she doesn’t want him either, because she does. So fucking much.

FIN

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I appreciated every comments, likes and reblogs. You are incredible! <3

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

[kaebedom-me]

Hello, it's my birthday today and i wanted to do a little self indulgent thing for me 👉🏻👈🏻

Sorry if it's not very reader friendly and stuff but please enjoy this Kaeya x reader hc thing that's semi related to the Golden Apple Archipelago event

tags: kaeya x reader, gender neutral reader, fluff, n/sfw at the end? a little bit, ~2.7k words, establishing relationship - platonic kaeya x reader at the start, kinda canon divergence, bday hcs, VERY self indulgent, it's a little long, not proof read

it's not often you have to visit the knights of favonius headquarters, but you happened to have to bring something for Jean

so when you turned up at hq you fully expected to see Jean in her office and not a very sad, very pouty and tired looking Kaeya slumped on the table

"quartermaster, I wasn't expecting to see you here, is the acting grandmaster ill?" you asked

he perked up at your voice, the sulking dissipated, Kaeya was acting as if you didn't just see him glaring at the pile of paperwork next to him

"actually, I'm currently the acting grandmaster," he said with a playful smirk that you adored. "do you have something for me?"

it was for Jean personally, so you'd hang onto it, you told him. you asked him what was he doing here and he pouted at you, dropping the acting grandmaster act

you've been friends with Kaeya pouty quite like this before, so you relish it as he explains to you the mysterious letter Klee got and how Jean and the others are accompanying her somewhere in some mysterious archipelago

you weren't too sure how to react, you hoped they were safe, and you hoped Kaeya would feel better soon

"I feel a lot better now that you've visited me, though," he teased, smiling at you a little cockily

you tried not to show how affected you were, you coughed. "I wasn't planning to visit you, you just happened to be here"

you couldn't stay long, though. you had prior plans, and a new plan popped up while you were talking to Kaeya. you left him to his own devices an hour later

he didn't walk you out like he usually does but you didn't mind

after clearing up what you could for the day and contacting the necessary people, you got yourself a room in Mond

the next day, at around the same time you visited the acting grandmaster again

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm afraid the acting grandmaster Jean wouldn't be back so soon"

Kaeya was only a little bit shocked to see you opening the door to his temporary office again, you just smiled

"I know, I was looking for acting grandmaster Kaeya"

you didn't like how miserable he looked when you first saw him in the office, nor did you like the strained smile as he bid you goodbye. no matter how hard he tried to hide it while entertaining you, you saw through it and wanted to do everything in your power to cheer him up

he teased you, of course, the entire time you were there but you didn't mind. you saw the lively glint in his eye when you moved to come in

"did you need anything, acting grandmaster? documents delivered to your subordinates? lunch? simple requests from the people?" you offered

"my, playing errand are we? nothing else on your agenda?"

you were so genuine with your "no" it took Kaeya slightly aback. he could guess what you've done to be here again today, and it touched him just a little

"could you help me retrieve some of these files from my office then?" he asked, you happily agreed before walking out of the office. Kaeya smiled at your retrieving figure, his free hand came up to cover it

and so you stayed, playing assistant until Kaeya packed up for the night. you even took him out for dinner just to make sure he was eating and taking care of himself outside of the office

he was very grateful for you and your help, wanted to spend more time with you even but you always ushered him home so he could get the rest he needed. as Kaeya's falling asleep, he'd think about how to properly thank you

you weren't always free though, some days you brought in your own letters and paperwork to his office. there the two of you would work in silence. every now and then you'd offer to help Kaeya out, he appreciated it but kept it to a minimum, since he wanted you to get your things done too

afternoons where the two of you worked together, were the most productive ones. And whenever you made longer trips for him, he'd made sure to get more work done than his usual pace just so you'd praise him and smile at him fondly

one afternoon, you came in a little bit later than usual. Kaeya was a bit disappointed, he caught himself waiting for you like some puppy. he tried not to sulk for too long though, he still had work to do and work he'd like to catch up on so Jean wouldn't have as much work piled up

when you came in you were trying to be stealthy about it, Kaeya noticed it immediately though. his excitement was easy to hide with a judging look

you smiled at him sheepishly, you offered a small apology. "I brought cake,"

his eye lit up, an easy teasing response flowed from his lips. you're so easy to tease and so adorable when you try to hide how flustered you were

the cake wasn't too big, something the two of you can share and finish without feeling sick. Kaeya knows when something is or isn't expensive and he happened to have heard from Lisa that these cakes were exquisite and very popular in Fontaine

"what's the special occasion?" he asked when you cut him a second slice

"nothing, I just wanted to have cake," your reply came a little too fast as if you prepared the answer before he even asked

he hummed. he couldn't look at your whole face since he opted to sit next to you when you set the cake box down on the meeting table. you busied yourself with cutting another slice for yourself, scooping up the crumble that adorned the cake that fell off

"I thought it'd be nice to treat you to something nice, for all the work you've done and how hard you've been working the past few days," you tried again, feeling how much he was staring at you

"is that so?" Kaeya racking his brain for a possible ulterior motive, he absent-mindedly scooped up the crumble from his cake and plopped them onto your plate. "this is a very special treat then, cake all the way from Fontaine..." he trailed off

you could feel your cheeks heating up. your gaze snapped up to meet his. Kaeya was smiling at you fondly, not how he would when he was trying to get information out of people, you think maybe this smile works better than the other one

ah, there's really no hiding from this man

"I- uh, um... well, it's- um," you couldn't stop stuttering, suddenly nervous now that he saw through you, you had to avert your gaze

Kaeya tried again. "I heard from Lisa these were popular in Fontaine, it must've been a hassle to bring them here, in a short time too, I imagine"

"It wasn't a hassle," you reassured, eyes suddenly serious when you met his. Kaeya blinked, surprised at your reaction, he wasn't expecting that but he had enough control over himself to not show it. instead, he smiled some more, encouraging you to continue

"it's, um, my uh..." you averted his gaze. Kaeya didn't have to hear the rest of the sentence to know what you were talking about. "..it's my birthday today," you said quietly

this time, he couldn't stop himself from looking shocked. "ah, but uh- I didn't want it to be that special! I just thought we'd have cake before resuming work," you stumbled after a beat of silence. you didn't dare look at him, you really wanted to avoid telling him, since you didn't want to distract him too much

the sound of the chair gently scraping on the floor, you shyly turned to look at Kaeya who looked like a kicked puppy. before you could reassure him, he apologised. "I am so sorry I forgot"

"n-no! it's fine! it's not a big deal," you reassured, waving your hand as if you were trying to wave away his worry

"I'll make it up to you"

"no! I'm having a wonderful time!"

"but-"

"Kaeya, please, I just wanted to spend the afternoon with you, I'm really happy like this"

Kaeya didn't doubt you. you did look very happy while you were digging into the cake. but it didn't stop his brain from working in overdrive to figure out ways he could make your day better. you averted your gaze again, probably still embarrassed that you were hiding this from him

"can I do anything to make it more wonderful then?" he asked once he regained composure

he smiled when you scooted in your chair so you were facing away more from him, a habit you had when you were trying to be subtle with hiding your face from him

"I just wanted to spend some time with you," you muttered. "the fact that I got the few days from before and right now- this is easily one of my best birthdays,"

Kaeya was mindful to push the cake and the plates aside so he could lean on the table to try to peak at your face. he so badly wanted to see how you looked like when he said "would you like me to hold your hand?"

"what? no!!"

the more you tried to lean away, the more Kaeya came into your personal space. he has been suspicious of your behaviour around him for a while now; he likes to think he knows a good deal about reading people, and that he also has a good grasp of one of his closest friends

and for so long he's been hinting at how he feels about you but you never seemed to pick it up despite how smart you are

maybe there isn't a better time than now to tell you straight up

"why not?" he was so close if you moved you'd bump right into him. "you enjoy holding hands, no?"

"we can't!" you still weren't looking at Kaeya, but you knew he had that stupid cocky face on his face. you didn't know he was looking at you with so much affection it's almost disgusting "because!"

Kaeya moved his chair closer to you, humming to encourage you to continue your sentence "because?"

"because, if we did, i'd want to hold it more often."

you thought now is a good time as ever. if Kaeya didn't reciprocate your feelings then you could just never come back. and you'd be left with the memories from the past few days, that'd be enough for you

you held your breath while you waited for Kaeya to respond. he leaned back a little and you tried not to look hurt when you had to turn back to look at him. before you could though Kaeya chuckled

"I'm sure we can arrange that."

you were wondering what he meant by that. shyly you glanced at him from your peripheral. he was smiling in a way that you hadn't quite seen before, a soft one, full of affection and admiration for what you hope was for you

"um," was all you could muster, finding yourself dumbstruck by the sheer beauty of the man that never quite leaves your head

Kaeya glances at his hand and moves it closer to yours. his smile was more inviting now, things were starting to click in your head. so you reached for his

Kaeya doesn't comment on how flustered you must look, nor does he say anything about the way your hand slightly trembles from nervousness when reaching for his

when you placed your hands in his, he immediately curled his finger around your hand, squeezing it tightly

he tugs you closer to him. "do you want me to kiss you?"

you felt like you were about to combust from looking at him, you were so dazzled by this side of you him you wanted to cry

your voice didn't want to cooperate, you could only nod a yes to his question. Kaeya didn't say anything about it, didn't tease you like expected. he just leaned into your space again to press a kiss into your lips

it was a very tender kiss, you could feel the curves of Kaeya's smile on yours. prompting a smile to tug on the corner of your lips too

when he pulled away, you immediately dragged him back for more. your free hand going up to his neck, while his settled cupping your warm cheek. you couldn't help but giggle

Kaeya's hand that was holding yours squeezed yours again before he mischievously bit at your bottom lip

Kaeya could be so sweet. you squeezed his hand back and slowly opened your mouth as he leaned back a little to tilt your head

his tongue tasted like cream, so you thought maybe yours did too. Kaeya pecked the corner of your lips before moving back in to swipe at your own tongue. you leaned onto his hand and let him lead you. his hand that held yours never once tried to leave yours

this time, when Kaeya pulled away you chased after him unconsciously. he chuckled at how dazed you looked from a simple kiss. his thumb gently caressed your hand while he waited for you to get your senses back

and you were positively adorable when you started to become embarrassed again. before you could pull yourself away from him though, he brought up your hand to kiss your knuckle

"K-Kaeya, I um-"

"mm? not enough? did you want to touch my chest, too?"

you scoffed when his stupid cocky smirk start to form on his face, but you couldn't help but smile back though, squeezing his hand as tightly as you can. "you're ridiculous"

there's a billion ways Kaeya could've responded, he decided to lean in for another kiss instead

kisses quickly turned to a make out session

you remember pulling away once to tease him about the work he was supposed to do

he scoffed. "you'd rather have your fancy cake and watch me suffer than have me making you moan at the slightest flick of my tongue?"

you'd slap him if it weren't for the way that your limbs felt like jelly and that damn hand that held yours tightly. you cursed at the way you shivered

you did end up sleeping with Kaeya that afternoon, right on the table you put your cake on

(Kaeya was careful not to knock it onto the floor)

your intertwined fingers only untagling every once in a while when Kaeya had to use both his hand to manoeuvre or take off your guy's clothes

you had wanted to taste more of him but he insisted that this moment was about you

(when you pouted at him, cheeks flushed and body shimmering from the sweat from your first orgasm, Kaeya promised you'll get your turn if you'd follow him home)

you had to take a nap if you wanted to follow him home, Kaeya was kind enough to drape your jacket over you when the two of you were done

"stay," you mumbled tiredly

"I'm not going anywhere, darling, I still have so much work to do because somebody kept insisting on distracting me"

he said that but once he was done cleaning up, he came to pick you up and brought you over to his desk. you got comfy on his lap and breathed him in

occasionally, Kaeya would rub circles on your back and lean down to kiss the crown of your head. soon enough, you drifted off to sleep in his embrace while he continued his paperwork

the next morning you woke up in Kaeya's room, you made your way back to your room before heading off to hq

the person who greeted you in the office wasn't Kaeya but Lisa

"oh dear, you must be looking for Captain Kaeya," she offered kindly. "he left on urgent business"

you nodded and smiled. "no worries"

Lisa offered you some tea, you politely declined. instead, you passed her the parcel that was originally intended for Jean. looks like it was back to business as usual

Lisa looked delighted when you handed it to her before you left she handed you a letter. "Kaeya told me to hand it to you when you drop in"

you thank her and retreated back to your room. you had other things you pushed off until now so you decided it was best that you returned to your life too

not before writing a letter back and slipping it into Kaeya's apartment though

[mskatesharma]

Hey sorry to bother you but I wanted to ask if you could rec some good sources on learning more about Indian Culture/history/customs. Movies books anything really. I have looked online but well, I always take things on the internet with several grains of salt. And considering I know very little on it, I can't say how reliable the information is. I would like to incorporate elements of Kate being Indian when writing about Kate (and Kate and Anthony) going forward and I want to do it in as respectful and accurate a way as I can. For example, I had a thought of Anthony seeing Kate and her fam celebrate Holi and falling in love with how happy and carefree she is and brushing some paint off her cheek before she dunks some pigment onto him or something 1/2

But considering I've never celebrated Holi or seen it celebrated before I don't think I'd do a good job to write it... I know I get annoyed when people get the basic customs and traditions of my culture wrong. Anyway sorry for rambling TLDR: I would like to learn more about Indian culture and idk where to begin so I would be grateful for any direction you can point me at 2/2

so this has taken me a while to answer because i needed to find time to sit down, think about it and answer it properly. it might seem like a somewhat simple question, but to me, at least, it’s complicated? (i’m probably going to be going over stuff you probably already know, but i’m trying to answer in a complete way.)

i need to start off by saying that my family is from north india (gujarat specifically), and because of that, i have a certain level of privilege, including how north indians and north indian culture is portrayed in the media (obviously including bollywood). i mention this because simone ashley is south indian, specifically tamil, and there is so much prejudice against south indians in general, and this obviously extends to how they are depicted and how their culture is shown in various forms of media; colourism (which simone has spoken out about) is just the start of it. (also, as someone who is north indian, i’m not the best placed person to talk about the prejudice and discrimination faced by south indians.)  

a big part of why desi fans are so excited about simone’s casting as kate is because she a dark-skinned woc, and typically, dark-skinned women aren’t cast as romantic leads, and they’re not cast in shows anyway, especially when compared to light-skinned woc. so the fact that she’s going to be a lead in one of the biggest shows on netflix is a big.fucking.deal. in addition, they changed her character’s surname from ‘sheffield’ to ‘sharma’, which on the surface seems like a great idea, but if you look a little deeper, there are so many problems to be found.

(this got long so continues below)

sharma is not a generic indian surname; it’s specifically a north indian hindu name, which throws up questions. is kate going to be a hindu on the show? does this mean her family is from north india?  are they going to talk about caste on the show because sharma is a brahmin surname? how are they going to explain kate being in england, and being out in society with the upper crust of the british aristocracy? (because of the time that bridgerton is set, and with them specifically setting up kate as indian, i honestly don’t know how they’re going to explain kate’s presence) i honestly think that the show didn’t think too deeply about it and they chose the name sharma because it starts with ‘sh’ and ~sounds indian. however, it’s thrown up so many questions that they can’t ignore, especially because they tried to explain race in the first season. 

i talk about all this because you ask about holi, and incorporating elements of kate being indian when writing. and i’m not trying to be mean, but i would maybe hold off altogether? i need to point out that holi is a hindu festival, and is not specifically tied to being indian. i know i mentioned that sharma is a hindu surname, but we don’t even know if kate is going to be hindu, she may be a christian, or another religion or an atheist. also, because simone is tamil, they may decide to have kate be south indian despite the north indian origins of sharma, if they chose to address it at all. and depending on where in india you are from, and your religion, you will celebrate different festivals. even indians of the same religion celebrate different festivals, and some celebrate occasions at different times (e.g. gujaratis celebrate hindu new year the day after diwali. this isn’t the case for most other hindus. if we take holi, i know that it tends to be celebrated more in north india, and the image you describe isn’t necessarily universal). 

there has been a lot in the tags regarding clothing, and seeing kate and her family wearing indian clothing, and while i get it, it makes me nervous. personally, i cannot wait to see kate in the same style of dresses that everyone else wore in season one. why? because seeing an indian woman in that period of dress is something i have been longing for. i don’t want to see an indian woman wearing a lengha or a sari or sabyasachi in that time period, i want to see her in a bonnet and empire waistline, because that is something we haven’t seen much of. 

also, talking about seeing kate and her family wearing indian clothing has the potential to ‘other’ her, and tbh, can come across sometimes as fetishy, especially when you consider the time the story takes place in, and all the implications of colonialism. (there’s also the fact that unless the show has hired indian costume designers, it would be kinda gross for them to use any kind of indian clothing, and that includes adding elements to the era-typical dress that i’m hoping for.) 

i’m going to be honest, i’ve seen pieces of fanart with kate wearing a sari and other indian clothing, while anthony has been in typical regency dress, and it makes me uncomfortable. it gives off coloniser vibes, and that’s a dynamic i have absolutely no interest in. there’s also the fact that i’ve seen art where simone as kate has been shown as light-skinned, to the point where she appears to be the same colour as anthony, and i mean, hello?!

full disclosure, i’ve made some posts regarding headcanons and music that i should have thought twice about. i’ve reblogged stuff that i should have thought more about before i did so. why? because they had overtones of north indian privilege, and/or orientalism. being indian (wherever in india that is) is part of someone’s identity, it’s not a gimmick to sprinkle onto things, and it’s not something to festishise, and i think, at least from what i’ve seen, that is the concern a lot of desi fans have, even if that’s not the intention of the original posters.   

i realise i’ve gone on a seemingly massive tangent, but what i’m trying to say is, i don’t think there is a need to specifically reference kate being indian, especially when when writing canon-era fic, even more so when you consider we don’t know how the show is going to address it. now, i’m not saying i have faith in the show when it comes to kate and her ~indian surname, just that until we know how the show addresses it, i don’t see why it needs to be referred to? i understand why one might want to, but i just think there are waaay too many potential pitfalls, and the risk of coming across as orientalist/patronising/fetishy too high. some fans have fears when it comes to kate sharma and how she is presented, and for good reason.

sorry for not answering how you expected, and not giving you the resources you asked for (which, tbh, i’m not sure i would know where to start). i get what you were trying to ask, and i thank you for asking in the first place, but the question felt a little unfair tbh. but, i would encourage to read up on orientalism, also about the privilege that north indian hindus have, and honestly, the british colonisation of india.

ETA: i put this in the reblog but im going to add it here as well

also, something i forgot to add, even though i talk about north indians/north india and south indians/south india, it is obviously more complicated than that. there are many different states in india, and even then, different regions within those states will have different customs to each other. and then you have to factor in religion. likewise, there’s no one language that everyone in india speaks. basically, it’s not one universal culture that can be ‘boiled down to the essentials’.

[unmanageable-day]

Can I Love?

CHAPTER 28

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Summary. Lee Y/N was the first love of one when he was a middle schooler. He never knew her name and he never saw her again. Several years later, he met her again …unfortunately under a disadvantaged circumstances.

TAGLIST. @boogyuu @samemagicpoint @anjiuniverse @lovingyu-04 @serenadesvt @naphthalene-ball @sensorivm @chaseyui @wonhaotrsh @jonashuji @skylions-den @niikipuff @renvibes @moonlit-willow @mimaisiomai @vxvshoshi @binniebutter @sweetsoonhan [ hit me up if you’re interested to be tagged for the next update ♡ ] - @jonashuji it seems i cant tag you properly

a/n: HI HELLO!!! it’s been ages i know!!!!!!!!!! and i dont even know if this kind of au is still a thing on tumblr. since i graduated, got married, and worked for 3 different projects (idk why im working 3 jobs help), i uninstalled tumblr apps in my phone (and the smau related apps too lmao so lets see what i can do later) so i really have no idea whats going on here. and i honestly already forgot how the plot of my own fic should be so i just wrote what i can remember. if some of you still read this, i sincerely thank you! it would be better if you could leave some feedback, or simply say hi so i know i still have at least one reader lol

“Do you hate being with me that much?” The older male suddenly asked, distracting Jihoon from the 96z group chat that was full of recent photos from Jun during the housewarming party at your house. Seungcheol probably just saw the younger’s tweets.

“No, not really,” Jihoon replied without putting away his phone. As his attention went back to the screen, he continued, “But it would be better if we could work on our neglected songs though. Instead of... you know, talking about her.”

Seungcheol didn’t respond to Jihoon’s words. He was aware of how often he rants about you. At some point he knew he was irritating others with his antics, yet it didn’t stop him from doing what he had been doing -- finding ways to get your attention, and making the others desperate trying to stop him.

“We’re throwing a surprise birthday party for Wonwoo. You coming?” Eventually Jihoon had to pick another topic.

“It’s not a surprise party. You know Wonwoo, he won’t be surprised.”

“Yeah, but it’s still a party.”

Seungcheol paused, his facial expression showed he was thinking about something. “Is Y/N gonna be there?”

Rolling his eyes, Jihoon sighed and answered vaguely. “Maybe.”

“But you guys must invite her, right?” asked Seungcheol again. He was getting a bit excited.

“Well, Wonwoo somewhat has a crush on her. So, yeah, he would appreciate it too if Y/N is invited.”

Okay, that was a piece of information that Seungcheol didn’t want to hear right now. He didn’t need a competition right now. He had enough with Xu Minghao being your guard 24/7. And he had enough with everyone being so protective over you as if he would hurt you in any ways.

“So, Y/N is invited,” Seungcheol concluded.

Wordlessly, Jihoon shrugged. He went silence again as his focus was back on his phone. He was indeed a silent reader. The 96z group chat was flooded by Soonyoung and Jun, and occasionally Wonwoo either exchanging memes, or not-so-important information. Until eventually he caught one specific topic that he was contemplating whether or not he should bring it up while he was with Seungcheol.

“What?” the oldest cynically asked when he caught the smaller guy looking at him since Jihoon could never be really subtle when he looks at people.

“You know, Soonyoung actually asked Y/N if you could come and join us at Wonwoo’s birthday party,” said Jihoon hesitantly. “Apparently Wonwoo also asked if she’s okay about it.”

Instantly, Seungcheol’s face got brighter and his eyes widened with excitement. “What did she say?” asked him enthusiastically, his hopeful doe eyes blinking.

Before answering him, Jihoon pressed his lips into a straight line. He read the group chat again just to make sure he didn’t misread what you told Wonwoo and Soonyoung. “Basically she said since it’s Wonwoo’s party, it’s up to him if he wants to invite anyone.”

“Does that mean I can come and join you guys?” he uttered excitedly. And doesn’t it mean I can see her? he thought happily to himself.

“No, don’t think about it,” told Jihoon firmly, as if he could read what was on his buddy’s mind. “You need to check your calendar first, Bro. Don’t you want to see this producer?”

“But it’s Y/N!” Seungcheol quickly replied. A wide smile was curved on his lips. His eyes was sparkly, at the same time he was trying to convince Jihoon to adjust all the work schedules ...which only would cause another catastrophic events afterwards.

[onionsoop]

Regrets /// Oikawa x nb!reader

Summary: After the last day of school you go over to Oikawa's house and start to talk about all the things you regretted not doing in high school. During that time though you confess to him after he pesters you about who you were interested in.

Length: 2.1k

Tags: Fluff, Childhood Friends, Kissing

Author's Note: Heyo, this is just some silly Oikawa fluff I decided to write cause I wasn't really in the mood to write smut these past few weeks. I might add more parts to this, but for now I'm working on Part 2 to the Nanami fic. Anyways, sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes and enjoy :)

The clink of ice in a glass sounded from the other room. You let out a long sigh, closing your eyes, letting the buzzing from the cicadas outside fill your mind. Warm sunlight beamed in from the sliding glass door, lighting up his bedroom and falling across your legs.

It was the last day of the school year. The last day of school before you headed off to college. It had been a long and twelve years, filled with some of the hardest work you had ever done, but now that it was over you felt was a slight sadness. Thinking about what you had ahead of you felt overwhelming and you just wanted to spend your time enjoying this last summer break to its fullest.

The sound of footsteps approaching from the kitchen made you open your eyes, turning your head to look at him as he entered the room. Casual as ever, Oikawa entered the room holding two full glasses of lemonade and smiling at you. Oikawa, your neighbor and childhood friend since you were seven-- looking at him now felt no different than it had when you first met. Despite the fact that he had grown twice as tall and now had his hair styled in those perfect waves the cocky look on his face had remained the same. You followed his movements with your eyes as he set one of the glasses down next to you on the floor before sitting down with a heavy sigh, admiring the way the muscles under his shirt moved.

“So, how long until you leave?” he asked, staring out the window into the garden in front of you.

“Two months. I’m leaving for Tokyo a month early to get set up,” you said dismally. Thinking about how little time you had left made a shiver run up your spine. It felt like there was a foot on your back pushing you to move on while you still held on to the last scraps of your childhood.

“Any closer to deciding on what you’re going to do?” you asked, shifting your eyes over to look at him. He was sprawled out on the floor, back resting against the side of the bed and lemonade glass in hand, slowly swirling the liquid inside. He shook his head, a slight, sad smile forming on his lips in response. Both of you felt the same way about high school ending-- you knew it was unavoidable but neither one of you liked the implications it held and the future it brought.

“Did you make sure to pick up all your equipment? You know Matsukawa was annoyed last year when you forgot your uniform,” you said, nudging his shoulder, trying to liven up the conversation. His eyes flicked over to you, giving you a fake exasperated look that contrasted the smile on his face.

“Of course, of course, Iwaizumi pestered me about it endlessly, there was no way I could forget,” he said, nudging you back a little harder.

“Say, why didn’t you ever join the team? You were always so invested in all of my games and practices.” You fixed your gaze back on the garden in front of you, feeling the jovial mood in the conversation seep out of the atmosphere as memories of things you missed out on flooded into your mind.

“I’m not sure,” you said truthfully, “I guess I was just too busy. I wish I had.” Oikawa nodded, letting out an “mmm” in response.

“Well, it doesn’t matter too much, I’m sure you’ll have a chance in college,”

“Probably, doesn’t feel the same though. I know it stupid but it feels like high school is the time when you’re supposed to do things like that. Makes it seem like I missed a lot of opportunities,” you said quietly, sadness seeping into your tone.

“I doubt that, you were always a hardworking student so if anything you just prepared yourself more for the future. Things like clubs aren’t important,” Oikawa said, trying to lighten the mood. Even though he was usually able to distract you and cheer you up, you still felt the weight of your future still pressing on your emotions.

“I feel so left behind though, like I don’t have these core experiences that everyone else does,”

“I don’t think volleyball is that much of a core experience-”

“It’s not just that, there’s lots of stuff-- I was never in any clubs, I never made that cliche friend group you’re supposed to have, I’ve never even had a first kiss! Do you know how embarrassing that’ll be for me to go into college without even a first kiss?” you exclaimed a little louder than you wanted to. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes but you quickly forced them away, returning to your depressed composure. There was no reason to get so emotional. You glanced over at Oikawa who had a surprised but concerned look on his face.

“I… I don’t know, I think this is all just weighing on me cause school just ended. I guess I don’t feel prepared,”

“It’s alright, I understand. I’m sure everything will get better in the next few months though.”

“Yeah, probably... I just wish I could go back and redo things, I feel so much regret…” you said, staring down at your drink, watching the condensation drip down the sides. You felt a little guilty putting this all on Oikawa, but you couldn’t quite shove away the depressing feeling that clung to you. There was an awkward pause and you felt Oikawa shift beside you.

“What would you go back and change?” he asked tentatively, meeting your eyes. You opened your mouth to answer but stopped when you realized you weren’t quite sure. You had never really thought about what exactly you would go and change, it felt like there was never really any point.

“I’m not exactly sure. I guess for starters I would go and join the volleyball team, then maybe try and connect with people more often. I was pretty standoff-ish most of the time wasn’t I,” you said, earning a chuckle from Oikawa.

“Makes sense, what would you do about that first kiss situation though? You seemed pretty distressed about that,” he said, a slight smirk forming at the corner of his mouth. You let out a small laugh, rolling your eyes and feeling heat rush to your cheeks. Out of all the things you felt you missed out on, that was the one you had actually given some thought to.

Over the four years you were in high school, you had multiple crushes on different people, but had never really been able to connect with them. At the current moment though the only one you remembered was the way you had liked Oikawa ever since elementary school. You had tried to build up the courage to confess to him back then, but once middle school hit and he got a girlfriend you buried your feelings as much as possible.

“I-I’m honestly not sure. There were a couple people I was interested in but I’m not sure anything would have ever really worked out with them.” You averted your gaze from him, trying to hide the blush forming on your cheeks, making you miss the intensity in his eyes as he asked you the next question.

‘Oh? Like who? Anyone I know?” he said, leaning forwards with a teasing grin on his face.

“I- I don’t think so, it wasn’t really anyone ever well known,” you said a bit too quickly, trying to blow it off with a slight laugh. You thought about all the times you had wanted to tell him about how you felt. You knew you had wanted to for so long, but was it even a good idea?

“Aw c’mon, can I at least get some names? You shouldn’t hold back information like this from your best friend Y/N,”

“I-... um-...” You couldn’t think of anything to say. The name of every guy you had ever known vanished from your head and the only one left was Oikawa’s. Your mind raced to try and think of something to say but nothing came to you. The room suddenly felt too hot and the noise from outside buzzed in your ears, distracting you from thinking properly.

“I-It’s a secret,” you said, regretting the excuse as soon as it came out of your mouth. Oikawa’s smile quickly dropped to be replaced with an expression that said “seriously?”

“We’re not even in school anymore, how can it be a secret?”

“It- It just is. I don’t want you to know, it’s embarrassing,” you said, becoming more aware of the hole you were digging yourself. There was no way you’d be able to lie your way out of this. The blush on your cheeks had transformed into a crimson shade that ran all the way up to your ears, showing that the words you said were lame excuses if it wasn’t already apparent.

“Come onnnn, it can’t be that bad, just tell me,” he said, poking you in the arm. Oikawa’s prying was becoming harder and harder to manage as you scrambled to find a way out of it. Your mind was barely working and had formed into a mess of pure panic. You wanted to give up and just tell him, but your mind was jumping from pros and cons too quickly for you to choose. You felt your breath hitch in your throat as you tried to answer.

“W-Well… it’s you.”

It felt like everything in the room stilled as soon as you spoke. The panic you felt before almost seemed to enhance and you felt a feeling of regret slam into you. What were you thinking? Your eyes flicked to Oikawa who was staring at you wide-eyed with his lips slightly parted in shock. Your lower lip began to tremble and your palms felt too sweaty where they were in your lap. Every atom in you felt the urge to run, but you were frozen in place. Fuck.

“W-What?” he said, finally breaking the silence.

“I-I’m sorry, pretend I didn’t say anything,” you blurted out, whipping your head back to face the garden. You started staring intently at a bush outside to try and concentrate on anything but the rising fear in your throat.

“You like me?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I-I don’t know, I didn’t think you would reciprocate. W-Which it’s okay if you don’t...” you said, slowly shifting your gaze back to him, searching for any emotion on his face besides the intense stare he was giving you. You felt like your heart was about to pound out of your chest. Finally telling all of him this wasn’t as relieving as you thought it would be. Instead of feeling like a weight was lifted off your chest, being in this limbo had caused you to feel even more crushed by your decision. You closed your eyes and took a shaky breath, trying to calm down.

Faster than you could process, you felt his hand reach up to cup your cheek and his lips press up against yours. Your eyes shot open and you scrambled backwards, pulling away from the kiss.

“W-What are you doing?” you said, eyes wide and staring at Oikawa who was inches from your face.

“I-I’m sorry, I like you too, I thought it would be okay-” You didn’t let him finish his sentence as you slammed your lips back into his. Finally, you felt that wave of relief wash over you. Happiness swelled in your mind. You had to concentrate on keeping the corners of your lips from forcing your mouth into a smile. Your first kiss. Right then and there. It was all you could have ever hoped for and with the guy you had always dreamed it would be with.

You felt Oikawa’s arm move from its place on your cheek to reach around your back. He pulled you closer to him and you wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling his soft hair brush against your fingers. You melted into the kiss, savoring the warmth of his lips against yours.

He pulled back looking into your eyes as you let out an unsteady breath before smiling up at him. You could feel almost every part of you shaking from the adrenaline. You were lightheaded and found it hard to breathe, but you felt like you couldn’t be happier at that moment.

“So… would you like to be my significant other?” he asked, rubbing you back with his thumb.

“Yeah- yes please.” You beamed up at him, letting out a small laugh.

“You sure were surprised at that kiss, huh,” he said, a smirk coming across his features.

“Shut up!”

You gave him a slight push, both of you laughing as he held you in his arms, relishing the feeling of finally being with him.

[tinyboxxtink]

“Sharky” *Part 7*

I have a question y’all, do you think that I make my fics too short? I always tend to keep them at 10 chapters because I feel like my attention span goes, but I see other fics are sometimes substantially longer. I really have some good plot plans for this one, so we’ll see how long it goes. 

Also OMG the gif works so well with the scene please send help.

Tag List

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Chapter List Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 8

��Rafael...Rafael come on don’t make me run in these shoes,” You called after him, scampering in your stilettos. Rafael finally stopped and turned to face you.

“What, Y/N? What could you possibly say to me?” He said exasperatedly. 

“Well this is familiar…” You half smiled. It was a call back to your first “date”.

“You really want to make jokes right now? He asked angrily.

“Sorry...I’m sorry,” You awkwardly looked at the ground. “For everything,”

“For everything,” He scoffed with a roll of his eyes. 

“Yes! For everything,” You tried to step towards him, but he stepped back. 

“For what, exactly? For stealing my stuff? For going through my apartment? For DRUGGING me?” 

“I did NOT--”

“Oh don’t even. I had such weird dreams that I haven’t had except for when I was taking hydrocodone for a back surgery,” He crossed his arms.

“Oh come on it wasn’t even half a pill there’s no way you could have--”

“SEE, I knew it! What the fuck is WRONG with you?!” He stared at you with disbelief.

“I...I don’t know…” You bit your lip.

“Right,” He shook his head with a sarcastic smile and turned to walk away, but you grabbed his hand.

“But look I’m sorry, okay and, and I didn’t give these to Buchanan yet so I’m going to delete them, right now and--” You started to show him the CONFIDENTIAL photos you took last night, but for the first time you were looking at them properly.

“I thought you were deleting them,” He said almost on top of you when he realized what you had taken photos of.

“What is this?” You zoomed in on the files, your face growing pale. “Rafael, what is this?” 

“Look we’re talking about what YOU did, Y/N--” He started to deflect but you weren’t hearing any more.

“My NAME is all over this, Rafael,” You could feel your panic attack coming back. The files were basically a full blown background check on you. Your family, your career, everything.

“It’s...not what you think,” Now it was his voice that went soft.

“It’s not what I--I can’t fucking believe this,” You laughed sarcastically, tears stinging your eyes. “You’re not upset I ‘played’ you, you’re upset you got outplayed!”

“What? What does that even mean?” He scoffed.

“YOU ASKED ME OUT,” You almost screamed. “You asked me out to get more dirt on me!”

“No,  I didn’t I--” He tried to deny it.

“Bullshit! Then what the fuck is this?!”  You shook the phone at him. “God I can’t believe I felt bad for-- GOD you’re such a--”

“Oh no no no, don’t even. I didn’t sleep with you and steal your property,” He acted like he was the victim once again.

“Yeah, because I didn’t give you the chance!” You were fuming.

“Look I didn’t even get that information, okay? Liv did. She did a whole background check on you when she thought I was interested in you...MONTHS ago. And I never even looked at it!” He tried explaining everything away. Nothing was ever his fault. 

“But you kept it. Just in case,” You narrowed your eyes.

“Well obviously I’m glad I did,” He bit back.

“God...Olivia,” You scoffed. “You know she’s the only reason we’re in this,” You rolled your eyes at that stupid woman. 

“Excuse me?”

“I wanted to go out with you for REAL, Rafael. Which clearly was never on your agenda,” You stomped your heel. 

“Oh come on that’s--” He shook his head.

“Yeah, and then not only did you embarrass the fuck out of me, then your little bitch called Buchanan and TOLD ON US,” You spat. The whole thing was enough to set you on fire, if she hadn’t butt in at all you would be in Rafael’s arms right now and not having it out in the middle of the street.

“...She what?” His voice went soft again; he didn’t even correct you on calling her a bitch.

“Yeah, turns out she thought I was trying to “coerce” you to my side, or that’s what she told Buchanan,” You spat. “And THEN, and ONLY then, did Buchanan come to me and threaten my god damn JOB and CAREER unless I got those receipts!”

“He...he threatened you…?” Rafael’s head was spinning. Had you really cared about him this whole time?

“YES, and-- and you know what is the WORST part of all of this?” You shook your head and laughed bitterly.

“What--? He looked afraid of the answer.

“I KEPT THE RECEIPTS,” You yelled, feeling yourself about to breakdown.

“What do you mean, you kept the receipts?” He asked with concern.

“I took this last night,” You pulled the USB you swiped from your blazer pocket. “And--And after I sat there, I let you-- I--- and then you called me ‘mi amor’, and I--” Your mind was running a mile a minute, you couldn’t finish a thought.

“I did what?” He stared at you in shock. 

“You don’t even remember that,” You scoffed angrily “Of course you don’t. You didn’t fucking mean it, I knew that,” 

“I….I…” Rafael’s eyes went back and forth as his mind was racing, trying to figure out exactly what he had said out loud last night and what he had dreamed of.

“And I felt SO BAD, so bad, and I thought that I--that we---” You were still reeling, you couldn’t believe this was happening. 

“Y/N…” Rafael’s face was apologetic now but you were done. 

“I made copies of the receipts and I put them on this USB and I was going to give it back to you, and then you could just tell Buchanan that you had made copies and saved them beforehand, and I didn’t get my hands on it. Because I didn’t give it to him, Rafael. I saved it and I was going to save YOU,” You were full on having a breakdown, tears were falling down your face. Rafael’s face fell completely and he reached for you.

“Y/N I am so--”

“NO!!!!” You jerked away from him. “You played me! I can’t believe all the bullshit you gave me, all the guilt I felt, the feelings I thought--”

“I didn’t play you Y/N I swear to you, I asked you out because I--” He grabbed your hands this time. “I really did like you, I DO like you,” 

“No, I’m not listening to any of your bullshit of what I ‘felt’ or some sappy bullshit, not for one more second,” You ripped away from him and started to storm off; But you were going to show him once and for all who was the heartless one. 

“And you know what, counselor? Congratulations, you outplayed the best of the best. Well done. Here’s your prize,” You threw the USB at him and stormed off, leaving him speechless.

---- 

You stomped back inside and went straight to the family bathroom nearby, locking it behind you just before you broke down crying. Your phone began buzzing wildly, “RAFAEL” flashed on your screen. IGNORE.

It rang again, and again and again. You finally picked it up and screamed “LEAVE ME ALONE,” and hung up. 

Why did you give him that USB? Now you were going to lose your job on top of everything else.

You finally composed yourself long enough to make it back to your desk, where Buchanan was waiting. 

“Ah, Y/L/N, So I just got a very...interesting call from Barba,” He gave you a look.

“I’m sure you did,” you thought to yourself. “Oh?” You asked out loud.

“Yes it turns out, that he had those receipts on a backup USB he had at his office,” He said in an accusatory tone.

“Oh. That’s unfortunate,” You did your best to keep cool.

“It is, and also very peculiar. Seeing as he was so upset when he came over here, acting like he didn’t have a chance,” He kept his suspicious tone.

“He probably just forgot he had it at the office, you know on the account of being drugged last night and all,” You rolled your eyes.

“I’m  sorry, what?” John’s eyes perked up.

“A quarter of a hydrocodone, he’s fine,” You waved it off. “Probably made him foggy though,”

“Uh huh...I’m sure,” He nodded. “And about those photos…”

“Oh, don’t count on it,” You shook your head as you handed him your phone.

“Oh, damn Y/L/N,” He chuckled. “Seems that ADA really took you for a ride, didn’t he? Maybe I overestimated you,” That hit so much harder right now, and he knew it. 

“Just...I’m sorry, okay?” You looked at the floor in shame.

“Well, you did your best there, my little shark,” He nodded to the plushie as he walked away. You picked it up and tossed it into the trash as you did your best not to burst into tears again.

------

Meanwhile across town, Barba was storming into Olivia Benson’s office at the NYPD.

“What is your problem, Olivia?” He barked.

“Excuse me?” Olivia was floored that Rafael would yell at her like this.

“Liv look, I know that we’re best friends, and we’ve known each other a long time but--- I’m not yours,” He sighed.

“I’m sorry?” She acted oblivious.

“You know what I’m talking about,”

“I really don’t--”

“Y/N, Olivia,” Barba cut her off.

“What about her?”

“The background check? The little phone call to Buchanan?” He asked angrily.

“Wha-- how are you going to be mad at me for being right about her?” She scoffed.

“YOU WEREN’T RIGHT,” He yelled while throwing his hands up in the air.

“Were you or were you not just in here ranting about how she just slept with you to get that evidence?” Olivia crossed her arms. 

“And she gave it back,” He held out the USB. 

“...Why would she do that?” Olivia was still lost.

“Because she cares about me, Olivia! But because of you, I’m pretty sure I’ll never get her trust back,” He yelled in frustration.

“No, no that can’t be right. She must have an angle,” Olivia persisted.

“Why, because the only one allowed to care about me is you?” Rafael asked coldly. 

“That is--” Olivia shook her head, not believing he had just gone there.

“Look, Liv I haven’t wanted to have this conversation because your friendship is so important to me,” He softened his voice. “But...that’s it. Our friendship,”

“Wow, Rafa. Wow I cannot believe you just come in here and start yelling at me, and start lecturing me on what our relationship is. Are you really that full of yourself?!” She was pissed now.

“Liv, we both know that’s why--”

“I was looking after you as a FRIEND, jackass,” She scoffed. “And anyway, why do you care so much all of a sudden? A week ago she was the devil to you! Now you’re in love with her?”

“I’m not---I don’t---” Rafael tried to find the words. “I could have, Liv. I really could have,”

“....I really am sorry, Rafael,” Olivia went and put her hand over his, and he let her. He looked up at her with soft eyes, finally letting a small smile form.

“I know you are,” He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. 

Maybe it wasn’t meant to be, maybe he should just quit fighting it. Maybe he could be happy with Olivia, he was never going to get you back now anyway.

Was he?

------

*A Month Later*

You were working late again, it seemed like lately all you did was work. You practically slept in your office these days. A few of your co-workers passed by laughing and chatting.

“Hey, Y/L/N, what are you doing? It’s a holiday!”

“Halloween hardly qualifies as a holiday Spencer,” You rolled your eyes. “It’s just an excuse for kids to load up on candy and adults to load up on booze,” 

“Exactly!” Kyra, the young intern, chimed in. Of course the guys were trying to get her to go ‘party’ with them. 

“Aw come on, we’re gonna go crash the NYPD’s Halloween Bash,” Your third co-worker Greg added.

“.....Really?” You asked with a sly smile, the wheels in your head were turning. 

“Oh yeah, their chief always gets the good booze,” Spencer laughed. “You’re gonna need a costume though,” 

“Oh I’ve got just the costume…” You smirked while logged off your laptop and grabbed your briefcase,

You’d show the whole NYPD just who was the fairest of them all….

[b-u-c-k-y-b-a-r-n-e-s16-12-1991]

Back In The Day

Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes know who they are. Heroes. Avengers. Saviours of the universe. Full-time frenemies. Here they discuss love, sexuality, and homophobia through the years.

Rating: Teen

Content: Homophobia mention, Hydra mention

Ship: Sambucky (alluded)

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers (dw they just say 'Steve' like twice)

Word count: 1.8k

Tagging: @marvel-mushroom @lesbians-love-samwilson @purelyutilitarian @kiras-sunshine @daddypickle @icarusfellintomyarms @space-and-ace @fenny2613 @your-genderfluid-parental-figure @purple-cactus-cat @burntout-bi @classified-bluerose @disasterbionlineround2

——————————————————————

"Alright. When was the last time you kissed anybody?"

He and Sam have been sat here looking out over the water for an hour now, coaxing each other into talking about things they don't want to talk about. Trying to get to know each other. For Steve's sake, they say, in honour of their old friend. For the mission's sake, so they can work better together, more in sync. Not because they're curious. Not at all.

Bucky considers for a minute. When was the last time he kissed anybody? Were there some with Hydra; ones that he can't remember, didn't want, didn't choose, women that had to be seduced before he could put a bullet through their head. And then there are the ones that don't count, the ones he doesn't want to acknowledge...

"I don't know," he replies eventually. It's complicated. Everything's complicated. How old is he? Mentally? Physically? Legally? He doesn't know. Who is he? He doesn't know.

"Come on," Sam says, in a joking way that shows maybe he doesn't understand the mental gymnastics required to try and work this out. "What, have you never been kissed?"

"Course I have," Bucky mutters in response. "I don't know, it was..." He counts for a minute, remembers some things, forgets others. "Forty-one."

Sam's eyes get wide. "Forty-one years?" He sounds incredulous. He'll sound even more incredulous when he learns the truth.

"Uh, nineteen forty-one."

"You haven't been kissed for eighty-two years?" Sam says, disbelieving. "There are people who don't even live that long."

Bucky shrugs. "I can't help it. Trust me, if I had my way I'd be wrinkled and grey right now. Old. Normal."

Sam smiles weakly, and Bucky can see he's contemplating. Wondering what it must be like. To be so lonely for so long.

"So you really haven't..." Sam starts talking, then stops. Sometimes Bucky forgets he's technically old enough to be Sam's grandfather. It's times like these that he remembers. "Not even late nights in the army?"

Sam's teasing. He means well. He always does.

Bucky sighs; he says nothing but in less than two seconds Sam has picked up on it. Although he might act like it at times - jumping out of planes, not doing things early enough, never moving the seat up - that man is not stupid.

"Alright," he says carefully. "When was the last time you kissed a girl?"

"Nineteen forty-one."

"And the last time you kissed a guy?"

Bucky shuts his eyes, remembers Wakanda, the heat, the deep marron light of the setting sun, the peace, the distant sounds of rushing water and birds. A place of safety and calm and freedom. For a while. "Two thousand-eighteen."

Sam says nothing for a minute. Bucky hates this part. The telling; then, the waiting. Is he judging? Does he hate me? Does he see me any differently? Truth be told, he's never told anyone, but he's considered it a thousand times. Tell Steve. Tell any of the other Hiwling Commandos. Tell Hydra in those brief, flashing moments of clarity - maybe they'd have been so disgusted they wouldn't want him any more.

"And the first time?"

"Nineteen thirty-three."

Sam says nothing again, looking out across landscape before them. The water is gentle, a mirror, a mass of flaming reflection.

"So did -"

"Sam," Bucky interrupts before his friend can even begin. He offers a smile that just feels false to wear. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Alright."

Then, less than a minute later, "But -"

"Sam."

"Okay."

They're silent for a while.

"I just -"

"Oh my God, Sam," Bucky says. He's not irritated, per se, he just doesn't feel this is something he needs to discuss. "Can you not?"

Sam seems a little bashful. He looks out over the water as if it might start talking to him instead. "I just always thought you were, you know, the ladies' man."

"Well, maybe I'm the ladies' man and the man's man, alright?"

"But what was it like, you know, in the thirties?"

Apparently they're talking about it.

"I don't know, Sam," he replies, and he doesn't. He's lived so long and been told what to forget and what to remember that his memories of the thirties could be memories from two years ago, and his memories from two years ago could be fifty years old. "We didn't talk about it. It wasn't like anything, because it just wasn't acknowledged. And if it was... It was brushed under the carpet. A whisper about the weirdo neighbour. A funny look when you talk about certain people."

"But how did you know?" Sam asks, insistent. Bucky looks at him, confused, trying to ignore the way the light shines on his friend's face. "If no one talked about it, how would you know if you were... Bi, gay, whatever?"

"Well... How do you know you're attracted to someone?"

Sam raises his eyebrows, his mouth curving into a smile. "Well..."

Bucky rolls his eyes fondly. He should have seen that one coming. "Well, you know, I mean... Whatever. But, you know you're attracted to someone, right, whether you ignore it or ashamed of it or not - because you're aware that you feel shame or regret or something, I don't know. It's just..." He shakes his head, trying to find the right way to explain this. How do you explain something that just is? How do you explain that the sky is blue? It just is. How do you explain that you feel nervous? You just are. How do you explain feeling attraction? It just is.

"It's like, the minute you asked yourself, 'do I find guys attractive?' the answer had to be, 'I don't'. And if you had to actively tell yourself that, odds are, you did."

Sam nods, but the expression on his face is distant, contemplative. If he looks out at that water any longer he might just fall into it.

"You know," Sam says finally. "Growing up, in the eighties, there was this, uh, disease -"

"Sam, I lived through the eighties. I probably remember them better than you do."

Sam smiles. "Well, anyways, you hear about this disease on the news, and it was the only time you'd hear about gay people. I asked my mom once, 'what's a gay person?', and she told me, you know, in a sensible way, that it's someone who loves someone like them. For a while, I thought that meant, like, two black people, two white people, not two men or two women. Kinda traumatised me, to be honest," he adds with a sad-sounding laugh. "I thought it meant my parents would get ill, too, and I got so upset about it my mom had to explain what it really meant... I don't know, even for a straight guy, if the only time you hear about gay people is in conjunction with sickness, it scares you a little, because eventually, you think gay, you'll think disease, too."

A straight -? Right, Sam's straight. Bucky has to try and remind himself for a minute. Sam's straight. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't matter to him.

He nods. They didn't have this disease when he was a kid - or they didn't know about it - but he knows what Sam means. If you only heat about something in a negative context, it becomes negative in your head.

"They thought it was a disease when I was younger," Bucky says. "Just, in itself. A mental one. People tried cures, they weren't -" he looks down at his hands, unsure of whether he wants to think about this, talk about this. "They'd probably kill you. And when the war started, you know, you weren't supposed to enlist if you were having these 'inappropriate feelings and desires'. I was so confused, man," he says, and Sam looks at him because now he's really getting into the conversation, recalling how it was, and it still gets a little exciting when the memories piece themselves together properly. "They had this psychiatric test to see if you were mentally fit enough to join the army. I'd already, you know - what's it they say? - experimented at this point, so when I passed I really didn't know how."

"They say people don't care about it anymore," Sam says, and shakes his head with a bitter smile. "They do. They just aren't allowed to be so loud about it."

They stare out over the water now together, just watching the waves as the sun sinks beyond them, bathing the world in orange and inky blue. Bucky forgot he was supposed to hate this conversation. He forgot he doesn't get on with this man.

"If you could go back and tell them," Sam says, when the world has finally submerged itself into nighttime, and they really need to be getting back. "Your mom and your dad and your sisters. Would you?"

Bucky thinks for a minute. There's so much he wishes he could tell all the people he left behind.

"I'd tell them everything. All the little things and the big things. You don't realise how much you wish you could have said until you don't have the opportunity any more."

-----

That night, Sam sits awake in his room. It's late - it's been late for hours - and everything is shrouded in shadow and the faintly distorted shapes of the night.

He can't get the conversation with Barnes out of his head.

You don't realise how much you wish you could have said until you don't have the opportunity any more.

What would Sam say? What does he have to say? Who would he say it to? No one. Nothing. It's nothing. But how much of a nothing is it if you've been thinking on it for thirty years?

It isn't like his family should be going anywhere any time soon. They're all healthy, live safe lives, none of them are ridiculously old. But in his line of work... Any day could be his last. A well-placed bullet, a neatly-thrown knife, a bomb, malfunction in the suit, that's it, Sam Wilson no more. And he's told nothing to his Mom or his Dad or his sister, people who he loves more than anything in the world.

He should do it. He should call one of them. Now? He checks the time. It's nearly twelve, but his mom stays up late. Worrying about her boy, she says.

In the darkness, the blue light from his phone is as bright as a blanket of snow. Blinding. Disorientating.

He dials her number, and she, as always, picks up immediately.

"Honey, how are you?"

His mom sounds worried. She sounds worried every time he calls. This is it, she thinks, he knows she does, this is the time when it's not Sammy, it's one of his super friends, delivering the bad news that someone's finally done it. They've got the Falcon. It's the end of her beloved son.

"I'm good," Sam says with an uneven sigh, preparing himself. "I just have something I need to tell you."